davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
BACHELOR IGNORANCE.

Especially When Children Happen to b
Under Consideration.
Bachelors who have lived long alone
n in hotels or clubs acquire strange
ignorance about children. One of these
was telling a friend how his little
nephew enjoyed "The Jungle Book"
"How old is lie 2" was asked.
"Oh, I don't know. Seven or eight.
Maybe ten"
'Then he can read the stories him
self?"
"Det me see. No, he can't. He's too
young. He has the book read to him."
"Then he must be less than ten years
old"
The uncle was puzzled. '"That's So"
he said, refiectively. "My brother hasn't
been married nearly so long as that. I
don't believe it's moro than six years.
No, the boy can't be more than four or
five years old, and a manly little fell
low. The bachelor was attracted by
his appearance, and, patting his cheek,
said to his father:
"He's a sturdy boy, isn't he? He'll
be ready to go out and play ball in a
few years."
II a play ball already" spoke up
the child, proudly.
"Why, he can talk, can't he?" ex-
claimed the astonished bachelor. "I
didn't know children conld talk at his
age"
The company would have doubted
the sincerity Of his ignorance had he
not been too evidently in earnest.-N.
Y. Tribune.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best product1 to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health Of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup'Rf7 Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
alive effectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation:
It has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval Of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in soc and 81. bottles, but it is man.
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being we'll informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

She was going into one of the big
newspaper Offices and was intent on
making an impression.
She wore a silk-lined gown and she
minced along just as airily and fluffy
as she could, &c that the head man OF
the place might be impressed with the
frou-frou Of her sills-lined garments.
When she entered the sanctum ha
was very busy and she coughed a low,
timid little cough! II had no effect
and so she proceeded toward the desk.
Excuse me, but" she murmured.
No reply.
Pardon me, ! am"
"Eh. eh, growled the old gentleman,
as he grasped a huge a trumpet, "a
little louder, please, I'm as deaf as an
adder"
And the young woman hasn't since
tried to make an impression by rust
ling her silk petticoats.-N. Y. Mer-
curry.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
THE NEWS FROM ROCKY CREEK.

THE NEWS FROM ROCKY CREEK.
About the onlyest news that I can
give out this week is in regards to a
family log rollin they had over at
Elder Newton's one day last week.
The doctor was there, and likewise
also two o three good old female Ia
dies.
WAJo the general confusiopmcnt
was liver Misses Newton she had colne
acros, with twin babies, and both boys
at that. n,
The mother and the babies areeAGin
well as could be expected under the
general circumference of the calamity.
The Deacon will probably recover.
RUFUS SANDERS.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
have been GROWN kss and less grad.
ually by degrees from that day to this"
BLEW scRoGGrNs IN HARNESS.

For the last three DAYS and nights
hand runnin I have been mopin and
gropin around in the low grounds of
sorrow. Cause why? Blew Scroggins,
my playmate through the golden days
of childhood and of boyhood - side
partner in all my trials and triumphs
and troubles and tribulations my
friend and fellow citizen till death do
US part-has backed himself into a
mighty bad scrape.
1t it ever c,mes to pass that you
mought want to work up a quiet little
game amongst the boys with the "doc-
uments,"' Blew Scroggins is right
there with two Or three cards up his
sleeve. But when it comes to a horse
swap he amt SO very many. 30 it
come to pass one day last week that
Blew went to town and tanked up to
about six bits in the dollar, and then
tackle a Gypsy camp for a horse trade.
Naturally, of course, he got accommo-
dations, and what was more he got the
Twin socks snapped off of him on the
first rattle out of the box. The Clip
sizes traded him a mule that was pritty
as a picture, but deaf as a post and as
blind as a mole. Then Blew got foam
in mad about it, which at the same
time he had dealt the game, and If the
cards got gummed up it was his place
to stand and take it like a man.
But instid of that, he come OH hcme
green-eyed mad, and that night, in the
still and solemn hours. he went back to
the Gypsy camp. Andyet still that want
oil. He put on a full set of wagon har-
ness, trace chains and all, and then
broke loose all of a student like right
slap kerdab in the middle of the camp.
And of all the pitchin and plungin and
kickin and snortin you ever heard tell
of he carried it on right then and there.
When the Gipsies woke up they
thought their horses had broke loose
in camp with the harness on, and them
that didn't wake up good thought the
last final end of time had come.
To be certainly Of course a mighty
confusionment and a general scattera.
ton was goin on around there present.
ly. One Gypsy run over a wagon end
broke his leg in two places. Another
one run head foremost into a tree and
fractured his skull, whilst one of the
women tainted and fell in the fire and
got burnt so bad till they don't thiGk
she can cover. On first blush the
Gipsies took up a notion that the
witches had got in amongst them, and
SO they broke up camp the next day
and moved down on Long Creek. But
in the main time truth was mighty ard
bound to leak out. Blew Scrogg;rs felt
SO low down means about it till he upard
told the naked facts in the case and
give his own fool self away.
Consequentially the high Sher:f
come out one day last week with pa
pers of complement for a man by the
name Of Scroggins. Everybody in the
settlement went on Blev's bond to keep
him at home, but he will have to teIid
court durin the spring Term, and be-
yond that the good Lord only knows
what.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

waters. and
along; SO and
the like Of that
they always
put rae in mind
of the tim e
when Andy Lu-
cas- lost mis- new
clothes a n d
lodged IL wa
terry grave by
the skin Of his
teeth. as it
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

The readers Of this paper will he pleased
to learn that there is at least Oh dreaded
disease that science has been able,y 20 cure in
Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being q constitutional disease, requires q
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure Is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
strength by building up the constitution and
assisting nature in doing its work. The
proprietors have so much faith in its cura-
tive powers that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that it fails to cure.
Send for list of testim onials.
Address F. ). CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

HnLsoN-"Shan you send your son to col
lege7' Millsou-"What's the usel He
could not achieve any honors." Hillson-
"Hssn't he brains enougha" Millson-
@Brains-brains2 He has enough for two;
but he's fast losing his hair, and no foot
ball team would have him."
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

TIE Ex%AeGERATIvE AaENr.-"Now as t.
D salary" Fifty per cent. is what !
shall expect.n "What7 Fifty per e of
the grossl" "Dear me, no. Fifty per cent.
Of what your press agent will say you ara
paying me-" HOr-Indianapolis Journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

Mrs GossIpY-"I think young Mr.. Chat
ter is q delightful conversationalist." Mr..
Gossipy-"Well, yes, he succeeds pretty
say.n-Truth.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

A SERIOUS CHARaE.-Alkai Tke-"Why
didn't you stay in Texas2" Panhandle
Pete-."Them people down at Cowskin City
charged too much" ''How do you mean7'
enlarged me with stealin' a hoss."-Puck
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
Al OLD as the hills-The valleys.

"ALL / demand for my client" shouted
the attorney, in the voice Of a man who was
paid for it, els j~usticer" "I'm very sorry
can't accommodate you" replied the Judge,
more than fourteen years. "-Cincinnati En-
Quirer.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

"WHAr did you buy this piece Of music
for3' asked MIR. barley, GROSSLY, rs he took
up a sheet from the piano; II bought it for
Q song" replied Mrs. barley, s~weetly.-De
troit Free Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

"SAY, Jimmie, d yer malick yer7"''Naw,
you bet she didn't. ""Geei you got of easy"
"Yep; you see she was 'fraid I'd holler so
loud I'd wake the baby"
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

"SAY, kid, wuz dey Q fight over yerei
Kid sea dey wuz." sWu5 one, but its ovet
now.n I'D lou see TT, t.see It'll I'm Do
Id wet oct NckcAG"-Caiesge Record,
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

slime and tide wait for no man" saith
the adage but there are many other things
Of the non-wai ing kind which will not be
put of and ought not to be Half the mis-
cry Of the world is caused by delay, naa
Rheumatism is one Of those insidious ills
which demands prompt attention, especially
In mid winter, when the cold accelerates its
action and intensiies pain. If allowed ohave
its way, it will wait for no man in its rapid
development Of the chronic stage. When
this is reached, then come troubles, not
only in its misery but in many ways where
a helpless condition throws the sufferer out
Of work and money. But whether in its
acute, chronic or inflammatory stage, don't
wait. The tide of pain will go on and so
will loss of time. At the same time we all
know that st. Jacobs Oil is made and sold
for the express purpose of curing the worst
cases in their worst form at any stage. 1t
has cured and will cure in nine cases out of
ten.
The HosrEss-''Oh, yesi Her people were
as poor as church mice; but si3ce her mar
riage to wealthy John Gotmofe she has it
easy.n The Visitor-'Easya 1should say
so! Why, she hasn't a single thing to do
all day but sit and worry. PUCK.
To HAVE what we want is riches, but to
be able to do without is power.-G. Mac
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
WHERE DID You GET THIS CC,FFEE

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS
Had the Ladies' Aid Society of our
Church out for tea, forty of them, anr-
all pronounced the German CofieeberrJ
equal to Rio! Salzer's catalogue telh
you all about it! IS packages Earliest
vegetable seeds $1.00.
If YOU WILL CUT THIS OUT AND SEND
with 15c. stamps to John A. Salzer Seed
Co., La Crosse, Wis, you will get free a
package of above great coffee seed and
u 14S page catalogue! Catalogue
alone SC. postage. (K)
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

MISS oLpuN (plavfuliy)-"I N older thar
&"-TitrBits.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

Weak men Aght. their friends.
strong men light their ensnale1~Grgah
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
A visitation.

Johnnie-What's the difference be-
tween a visit and a visitation?
PA visit, my son, is when we go
to see your grandmother on your moth
er's side.
EYES,"
"a visitation II when she comes
To see us."-1it-Bits.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
FADs, FANclEs AND FASHIONS.

Beautiful finely woven large round
baskets o come cheap, and after
being gilded or painted a delicate color
are exceedingly pretty for holding
palms or large plants.
Theodore Roosevelt has a cartoon
room," which might be called a pic
toria] kitchen; for it contains posted
roasting" him.
It is whispered that three times as
many New York men as women invoke
the aid of face massage to smooth
away the burrows time has plowed upon
their visages.
The handsomest lunch cloths are
made of fine linen and have a deep
border of renaissance lace. Doylies
and buffet covers are also edged with
the same beautiful lace. It washes
we'll and is handsome as long as it lasts.
The latest card cases and pocket
books are made from a leather that is
called elephants hide. 1t has rather
a rough surface, and is of a light tan
color. They are mounted at the cor
ners in dull gold, or have a plain gold
band around them, headed by a mar
row beading.
New menu cards come in the form
Of fruits and vegetables, such as apples,
pears, potatoes, cucumbers and lemons.
They are co.ored like the natural fruits,
and the menu is written on the under
side. The cards are fastened to a piece
of satin ribbon, on which is painted the
name of the guest.
Funeral flowers are no longer all
white. and set pieces are not desired.
Boxes of loose flowers are most often
sent by friends, although small wreaths
arc still used, but have become SO full
that they are more like a round mat
Of flowers. At q recent funeral each
member of a large family laid a wreath
of violets on the mothers coffin.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

ton Greene 'kwho has been watching ar
Italian collect, cigar stumps)-"Dear mel
I've heard O. this mania for collecting
things, but that's carrying a fad too farl'-
Puck.
Mr. K. (who has bow-legs, to the pho
tographer)-"For mercy's sake, hurry up, I
can't hold my knees together any longer"
-~Fliegende Blaetter.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
SQUIRE 9 F D
The Great Old Story Teller Down
On Rocky Creek.
andy Lucas and His store-Bought Clothe.
That 'orful" Right in Murder Crock
swamp Blew ~Scroggins
In Harness,

COPYRIGHT. 1851
IaiAln about these tremendous big
rains, and spring freshets, and kieh
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

Browns BRONCHIAL TRocHEs" ara an
e6ectualremedy for all BronGhialA Affections.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
800 Reward 81Oo. 9

To HAVE what we want is riches, but to
be able to do without is power.-G. Mac
donald.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

were, down in Murder Creek swamp.
l wish in my soul that I could
give you that story exactly like Andy
give it to me, with all the flourish
ments and fancy trimmins. Then you
have somethin to wake up in the
dead hours of night and laugh about.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07
WHY Time glides so swiftly
ALI history shows,
That the reason of this
Is by cycle he goes.

TIE mind Is found most acute and most
uneasy in the morning. Uneasiness is, in
deed, q species of sagacity-a passive sa-
gacity. Fools are never uueasy.-Goethe.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-03-07

WE cannottoo often think there is never
sleeping eye, which reads the heart, and
registers out thoughts.-Bacon.
The San Francisco call., 1896-09-27
When Shakespeare Was a Boy
Literary Landmarks of the City in the Sea, and a
Tale About the Old Infant, and
Some Other Stories

SHAKESPEARE THE BOY. BY William ].
Rolfe. New York: Harper & Brothers. For
sale by Robertson; pricc p 25.
Dr.. Rolfe, the celebrated editor of Shake
speare, has in this book com bined all we know
of the youth of the poet with all on record of
the life of the time, as it affected boys In
other words, he has described the games Shake
speare played, the amusements of the country
side, the school and the lessons taught. the
training at home and the town life. He gives
picture of Stratford-on-Avon as it must have
been then, and incidentally calls attention to
the influences which affected the character of
the great dramatist while growing up.
To those who are unaware how little is
known of the life of Shakespeare the title of
the book may prove deceptive, inasmuch as it
may lead them to expect to find in it some
account of Shakespeare or at least some anec-
dotes of his early days. The book, of course,
contains nothing of the sort, for of Shake
speares boyhood nothing is known except
that he grew up at stratford during the reign
of Henry Will A more accurate title would
have been "EngIish manners and customs dur
ing the boyhood of Shakespeare" The value
of the book for lovers OF the great dramatist
lies in the fact that proper unders tanding
of many passages in his plays depends upon q
knowledge of the customs and games to which
the passages refer. These are quoted in the
work, and the significance of the metaphors,
SMILES and references to events of that time
fully explained.
The San Francisco call., 1896-09-27
THE CITY IN THE SEA.

LITERARY LANDMARKS OF VENICE. BY
Laurence Hutton. New York: Harper d Bros,
publishers For sale by A. NJ. Robertson; price
The author has enlarged, elaborated and re-
vised the article en- titled Literary Land
marks of Venice" which appeared in Harper's
Magazine for July, 1896, and upon which this
volume is based Mr.. Hutton describes at
length the houses and places In the Queen of
the Adriatic," which have been identified
with men and women famous in literature,
and adds many pleasant anecdote and story.
The effect on the reader is to give him the
feeling of knowing the city better than before.
Many of the persons spoken OF were Ameri-
cans. To quote the author:
When the Engish-speaking and the English
reading visitors in VenIce-for whom this volume
was written-overcome the feeling that they are
predestined 10 fall into one of the canals before
they leave the city, where they become accus-
toned to being driven about in a hearse-shaped,
one-manned rowboat, when they have been shown
all the traditional sights, have bought the regu-
lation old brass and old glass, have learned 10
draw smoke out of the long, thn black, rat-taied,
straw-covering things the Venetians call cigars
when they have and done all these they Will
find themselves much more Interested In the
house in which Byron lived and in the perfectly
restored palace in which Browning died than In
the half ruined, wholly decayed mansions of all
the Doges who were ever Lord Mayors of Venice.
Ihe guldeoookS tel us Wnere tallero plotted and
where Fascari fell, where Desdemona suffered ard
where Shylock traded, but they give us no hint as
to where Sir Walter Scott lodged or where
Rogers breakfasted, what was done here by the
many English-speaking Men of Letters who have
made Venice known TO US and properly under
stood
To dwell upon these has been the chief pur-
pose of the book. Among the most interesting
descriptions are those relating 10 Robert and
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, to James Feni-
more Cooper, to Disraeli, Dickens, Howells
Lowell, Petrarch, Eugene Schuyler, Charles
Dudley Warner and Constance Fenimore
WooIson. The creator of Misunderstanding
dear to juvenile America. did what everybody
The San Francisco call., 1896-09-27

THE OLD INFANT, AND SIMILAR STORIES.
By VIII Carleton. New York: Harper & Bros
publishers For sale by A. NJ. Robertson; price
81 20.
Here is volume of seven stories and 22O
pages, and it serves to show, for one thing,
that the author of Betsy and Are Out" is
more of success in tn he composition of dialect
verse about farm and city life than in the
writing of prose stories. viii Carleton is quite
Familiarity known throughout the country on
account of his ballads, the homely humor and
pathos OF which appeal to popular favor. Still,
as we have observed in times previous it is
far easier to attain distinction in the realm of
poetry than in that of prose. His stories may
get somewhat of reading on the strength of
his reputation as rhymester. Had the pres
ent volume appeared as Mr.. Carleton's initial
work, however, it would hardly, after perusal,
have aroused in the reader q very eager desire
for more literature from the same source
In 1.-THE Old Infant an old man goes to
school, and becoming very fond of the teacher
leaves her his money. "The Vestal Virgin" is
a college story, in which the typical "home
boy" Chess1e Wylkynse, is hazed unmercifully
and rescued by Barnes Dillingworth an ath-
letic admirer OF Miss Wylkynse. The scene of
"Lost-Two Young Ladies' is laid in Sicily.
Italian brigands and peasants meet American
girls and their chaperon, q New England
woman. The missing girls are rescued by an
American detective, whose methods are unique.
"a Christmas Car" is a children's Christmas
story. In "a Business Flirta ton" a young
college student learns not to make rash VOWS
to charming girls. "The One-ring Circus"
and "Oldbottle's Burglars" complete the vol
The San Francisco call., 1896-09-27

MARCH HARES. By Harold Frederic. New
York: D: Appleton & Co. For sale by William
Doxey. Palace Hotel: price, 81 20
Brilliant and sparkling, full of vim and snap,
"March Hares," the latest of Harold Frederic's
novels, fully sustains his reputation as a
writer of standard fiction, and certainly enti-
ties him to be classed as one of the foremost
novelists of the day.
There is a something that is delightfully."- re-
freshing in Mr.. Frederic's work. The story
runs on, unburdened with conyentionality,
frightened by some really clever bits of char
acter sketehing. The author is particularly
happy in his description of one Laban Skinner,
who, to use his own language, is Jefferson
ian Democrat" To this advantage is added
Standard Oil magnate's purse, a pompous
manner of speech possibly derived from the
frst-named attribute) and pretty daughter.
The principal character of ''March Hares" is
David MOsscrop, who imagines his life wasted
because, at the mature age OF 80. he finds him
self the life occupant of an academic chair
with a comfortable income, and leaning
toward indulgence in spirituous liquors.
It is this latter tendency which leads him to
characterize himself as "a waste product, a
drunkard, sterile fool, loafer, g veritable
human swine" Needless to say, Mosscrop, as
far as can be gathered from the story, has little
grounds upon which to base his self-condem-
natory remarks. He is just an ordinary good
Briton, but Notwithstanding this latter faet,we
hear him using phrases that are distinctly
American, If not "Jeffersonian- Democratic"
Thus, "ralsed such racket" is hardly British;
nor are 'lie low" ''do things off your own
bat" you're just fooling," "Afraid nothingl"
But, apart from these small discrepancies,
we have really no fault to find with Mr. Har-
old Frederic's latest book. 1t is an animated,
eleverly written, healthy piece of fiction, that
might well serve as a model to some writer's
we could mention. To disclose its plot would
be somewhat of an injustice to the author
We therefore simply conclude, as we began,
with the remark that in "March Hares" Mr.
Frederic has produced novel that will add to
his reputation as master in the art of writing
choice vigorous fiction.
The San Francisco call., 1896-09-27
\ STORY OF THE OLD NAVY.

THE WHITE JACKET; OR, THE WORLD IN
A MAN-OF-WAR. By Herman Melville. Pub
lIshed by the American Publishers Corporation,
New York; price 80 cents
This is another of Herman Melville's ad-
mirable sea stories, which have recently been
republished in popular form In ''White
jacket Melville relates his experiences as a
man-of-war's man on an American frigate.
and it is safe to say that no better description
of the life of sailor in an oid-time naval yes
sci has ever been written. It was in 1843.
after Melville, having escaped from Typee and
reaching Honolulu, where he remained for a
short time, shipped on board the frigate
United States, flying the broad pennant of
Commodore Ap Catesby Jones. The United
States had recently arrived from Monterey.
where Commodore Jones had in an excess of
zeal, raised the American hag, which he
The San Francisco call., 1896-09-27

hauled down the next day, apologized to
the Mexican Government and retired. The
title of the book is derived from garment
manufactured by the young sailor himself from
piece OF white duck to serve as an outer gar
ment, to protect his person from the rigors of
Cape Horn weather, as no peajaeket could be
had from the purser's steward. The white
jacket would have changed its color If the
maker could have had his way, as he applied
TO the first lieutenant for few brushes full of
black paint, to give it waterproof coating,
but that official refused his permission.