Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1896-05-01
MALvERN's RRUDITE SHoAT.
Most Cultured Creature in the Whole
State of Arkansas.

the Missouri Pacific railway, insert
ing a conversational jimmy into dis
cussion between two board of trade
men. Speaking of pork, did you
ever meet that educated pig at NAL
i vern? No? Well, there's one Joy
and delight coming to you. That
pig is beyond all cavil and argument
the most accomplished animal in the
state of Arkansas. You may tell
your stories of intelligent dogs and
wise mules, but this brown shoat of
Malvern has the general information
of university post graduate. I
met him in a casual way myself,
though I've heard of men who trav-
eled all the way from Memphis to see
him. What is his speciality? Telling
| time
Malvern, you know, is where the
Hot Springs Short Line meets the
Iron Mountain road l stood on the
platform one morning waiting for
the Springs train. I saw this hard
looking pig projecting around the
right Of way in a desultory manner,
and while l was idly watching him he
surprised me by sitting down, lifting
his nose toward heaven, and bowling
in the most frightful manner.
never heard such horrible, piercing
song, and he wouldn't let up. He
kept it going as steadily as if he
were doing piece work.
why don't you unload your
Winchester into the critter?' I asked
of a hunter-a native-whO was
standing on the platform.
-" Because I'm not ripe for the
hereafter, he replied. The citizens
would surely lynch anyone who tried
to bushwhack that hog. l remem-
Der one stranger, eight or ten years
ago, started in to chunk him with
pieces of coal. The townfolk run
the tourist clear yonder to that bend
in the track. He may be on the run
yet. He had hit good gait when
last SEEN
Why do the natives set such a
store by a nuisance?' pursued.
" He amt regarded in that light,
stranger, So far as being regarded
as Objectionable, that swine is the
object around which civic pride
swings and rattles. We set our
watches by that hog, and town
clocks in Malvern are a useless lux
ury with Rodney-that's his name
on earth. You see, it's like this.
Twelve years ago Rodney, then
common, ordinary-looking pig, with
no indication of his brain power,
walked down the right of way just
as the train stopped. The porter
in the buffet car dumped his refuse
food out beyond the water tank, just
as he had for months before. Rod
ney happened down there and got a
square meal. Next day he came
again. At first he got but one feed
per day. Then he began to consider,
and to lay for all the trains. 1t took
him two months to differentiate be-
tween the local and through trains,
but at last he got 'em fixed, and you
couldn't drive him there now before
the regular train time. Three times
day-in the morning, at about two
o'clock in the afternoon, and again at
six-he's Johnny on the spot as
these travelling men say. Once a
porter fooled him-he threw the
stuff out on the wrong side of the
train, and Rodney run him up a tel
egraph pole. 1t took the whole train
crew to keep the pig at bay until the
porter could get into the train. Since
then they haven't tried any tricks on
him.
But why does he make such an
Internal noise about it?" l asked.
That's where his value as a time
telling institution comes in. If the
train is on time he amt saying a
word, but if it's minute overdue he
raises his voice and he keeps it up
till he hears the engine. So Malvern
people know the time whether the
trains are on schedule time or not.
OF course, it's monotonous some
times, when they are three or four
hours off their time, but the town
has to stand it until the delayed train
comes or another one is due from the
other way"
But I objected, when the time
is changed in the spring and fall, it
must throw the pig off his reckon
ing.
Don't believe it, stranger. The
critter can do anything but talk, and
he gets his tip on the changes hear
ing the station men discussing the
new time card. Rodney is never
wrong. Chicago Times-Herald.
Poet Turns Cobbler.
Jacques LIE Lorrain, the Paris