Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1896-11-14
JAMES INCH'S DOWNFALL.
"A HR. JAMES INCH Is one Of the
MI most staid and digniled citi.
L L zons of parlor City, He never

V most 6tniu anu uisuueu SiA'
L L zens Of Parlor City. He never
drinks. he never smokes. and II 10 his
arm conviction that Hadcs Is yawnlng
for every man. woman. and child that
plays cards. lie IL n pillar Of the local
Methodist Church. has publicly de-
nounced dancing rs an invention Of the
devil, progressive cuchrc and pedro
Dart1es as creased poles to the realm OF
Satan, and trolley parties as m even
more sinful diversion than any OF the
ether forms Of amusement to which he
= opposed. One might Imagine from
this that. Mr.. James Inch was an un.
popular man In Parlor City. Such,
however, Ia not the case. The inhab.
ltants point him out to strangers No
their model citizen, and can't Say
enough In praise Of him. That Ia be-
cause Mr.. Inch Ii a sterling business
man, and 30 generous and charitable
that his fellow townsmcn are willing
% overlook his radical views on things
IN the amusement line.
Mr.. Inch had an experience some
weeks ngo that came pretty near
knocking down with one blow the
splendid reputation he has built UP for
himself In Parlor City. 1t was a most
unfortunate experience for Mr.. Inch,
but It provided amusement for his fel.
low citizens for days afterwards, and
some Of them are not through laughing
yst.
One bright sunny morning early In
August Mr.. Inch boarded train bound
for Parlor City Mt a small
way station some twenty miles
from his home. He had gone
out there the night before on bust.
nsss, had missed the last train back
and night on corn husk mattress n
the local tavern had rufiicd him about
- much as he had ever been ruined II
his life. Mr.. Inch had not been In tn
train I'VE minutes when he heard Z
f1ghtful racket in the car behind him
and on inqulring Of the conductor wha,
h meant was told that both Of the real
cars were full Of lunatics who were b
Ing transferred from New York to tn,
0tate asylum on the hill back Of Par
lor City.
'They're In charge Of keepers, al
right" said the conductor. but the,
ct excited every now and then, and
tell you the keepers have their hand
full. Lor: but they do cursew
do you suppose I could 80 look .
tAsmT asked Mr.. Inch, who immsdi
ately made up his mind that Il was hi
duty 40 o Christian man to 70 AMI
speak = few words Of admonition b
these men.
"punno." was the conductors laconi'
response. "Y0u'll have 70 ask tn
keeper."
Mr.. Inch rose from his seat and start
"a back. Hc decided that he would no
ask permission to DO what was hi
plain duty. He felt that the keeper
would refuse him admission to the cal
- be made up his mind to slide In uu
observed. take a seat, and watch hi
chance to distribute advice to tho uu
fortunate. II was not q difficult piec
q work. a. the keepers were prett,
busy when Mr.. Inch opened the doc
and walked In. and they didn't motto
him At all. He gradually worked hi
way 70 the middle Of the car unnotlcc
In the bowling crowd OF wlld.cycd mer
and ensconced himself In a seat besid
. red.headcd individual who wa
swinging his arms round In most rccl
lees fashion aud singing In Y shril
voice:
'.rhis 10 my story. this 10 my song.
Prais,ng tho Savior all the day long.
Over and over again the man can
che couplet, sandwichinS II with strins
Of oaths, which sent chills chasing eac
other up and down Mr.. lnch's spins
column. He attempted to talk wit
the man. but he might 40 well hav
tried TO converse with a log Of woot
Others with whom he started converts
lions looked at him 10 blankly that
soon realised II was hopeless tasl
and settling down In his seat, he n
solved to say no more.
"when Wa get to Parlor City"
figured to himself. I'm Just walt unit
they get this crew out Of the car. an
then Ill 60 ont myself and 50 home"
Mr.. Inch's resolution was the resu
Of q little speculation as to what woul
happen to him II the keepers disco,
cred that he had entered the car On
mingled with this crew Of violent a.
irresponsible men.
At the station In Parlor City on Il
same morning that Mr.. Inch boards
the train twenty miles away stood q
teen keepers from the State asylu
waiting for the consignment Of lun
dcs from New York. With them WI
younG DR.. Blank. on whose shoulde
rested the responsibility for the sa
transportation Of the lunatics fro
the station to the asylum. DR.. BlsI
was worried. 1t was the first expet
don Of this kind he had command
and he was nightly afraid that som
thing would 60 wrong. Only a mon
before he had received his appointme
70 the asylum, and escape or revolt d,
10 lack Of proper precautions would.
knew. mean the loss Of his place. !
WAS relieved when the train rolled
and q keeper jumped from the steps
Q car. touched his hat, and announce
that all was well.
"A hundred altogether, I believe
The doctor remarked.
Eyes, sir; nifty In each car" said Il
keeper.
"Well. march them out 40 soon
you can" said DIR. Blank, and
hauled out o notebook and prepared
check of the men az they were han
ID over to his keepers.
Nhnx. A<olz tho laak On Arlk ma 4