davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
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WEDNESDAY. MARCH 4, 1896
LONG DISTANCE TELEPHONE.
Instances In which It Has Been Used to
the Delight Of Message Senders.

instances In which It Has Been Used to
the Delight Of Message senders.
A good many stories are told of the
strange uses Of the long distance tele-
phone. The day the line was opened to
Merrill, Wis, Chicago man, hunting
In the northern woods, came into town
and learned Of the innovation. He went
into one of the "soundproof" booths
and had himself put into communioa-
tion with his family. AS they had q
telephone in the house, the task was a
small one. He chatted with his wife,
told her fish story at which she might
smile without embarrassing him, since
he could not see the signs Of incredulity
talked with his boy and girl, and then
called for Gyp.
Gyp was setter, great family pet,
which had been left behind because OF
an accident which rendered 1t lame.
Gyp was called to the telephone, and he
stood ON a chair. his fore feet on the
back, and his mistress held the trans
mitter to his ear.
Hello, Gypp called the master
from Merrill. And the dog in Chicago
pricked up his ears and whined. The
master wbistled cheerily, and the setter
barked directly into the receiver. He
knew his master g voice and the whistle
as we'll, and the master cheered him by
ready laughter at the prompt and eager
reply.
1t was worth the So. 90 it cost.
A lady living near indianapolis. who
had for more than year been in deli
cate health, was taken to Chicago early
last winter, where she received surgical
treatment in hospital. 1t was impos-
sible to take her home for the Christmas
celebration, although she had recovered
SO much that she could walk readily all
over the hospital. She had three beau
tiful children at home, and the father
prepared Christmas tree, just as he
had formerly done, only he added
feature which had never been found
there before He had the electricians
come in ON the afternoon before Christ
mas and put his residence telephone in
the tree, where it was concealed with
pine needles and tinsel. He arranged
with the long distance people. apprised
his wife of her part in the play, and at
a certain moment IN the evening, when
the children, bubbling over with joy at
their presents, still felt a sadness at the
absence of their mother, he clapped the
receiver to the ear of his youngest child,
and the gentle voice of mamma came
over the wire
1t was their most precious Christmas
present Tacoma Ledger.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
Sir Henry calcraft.

Sir Henry Calcraft, who died the 9TH
er day, was for many years one of the
best known and most popular men in
the social life Of London In a sketch
Of his career The St. James Gazette
SAYS. There was famous hangman Of
the name Of Calcraft, and Sir Henry
used TO be jocuIarly known as the Hang
MANA title be would laughingly ae-
cepr The position he held in public and
saeiHI life may not inaptIy be Indicated
by recalling the circumstances that his
nnma was freely eanYaGsed as chat Of
Mr. Bslane' successor IN the edlSurshlp
Of The Times. He knew nothing Of jour
nnlisn N It's praetiGaI aspects, bun he
had IN unrvaIed know ledge Of ths
msn anu affairs OF his tims. and it waa
tiiiH faGt and the repufaSign he had &c
quirad as a man CT sIgnaI penetration
and sGundness If Judgment tiias led 10
the assaginfaun Of his name with the
authorship. Sir Henry hnd never dnlled
the brightness OF hiH outlook on Life by
accepting the responsibilities of masri-
monY. lie was a confirmed bachelor,
who retained to middle age the Zsyety
Il youth ~
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
a Nsr rsss 81 snhrtetI.

shibhoIeths to test sobrietys or COM
paratIvs sobriesy. in the case Of sup
posed dzznkards have often been heard
Of, and have generally been looked upon
as jokes for the dinner table or the
smoking room. From case reported at
the Westminster police court, 1t ap-
pears that a doctor, examined as wit
ness. has invented test phrase which
he regards as infallible. 1t is, 1.-THE
artillery extinguished the confagra-
tion early" This may be very effect
i've, and 1t was tried successfully ON a
cabman (the defendant), but the doctor
need not have taxed his inventive pow
ers. There is the "Peter Piper picked a
peck Of pepper, etc., test, and one or
two more not quite SO elaborate. "Bib-
lical criticism" and British constitu-
ton" have long been favorite tests, but
the best is probably MRS. Smiths fish
sauce shop. London News
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
AMERICAN EccENTRlcITY.
Frenchmen Never Tire OF Talking of Gu
Queer Freaks.

Frenehmen Never Tire OF Talking of Our
Queer Freaks.
The French people never tire of re-
lating anecdotes Of the eccentricity and
enormous wealth of Americans.
An American went into hairdress-
er's shop in Paris recently and found a
charming but poorly dressed girl en-
gagged in negotiations with the propri-
etor. She was offering to sell him her
magnificent head of hair for three napo-
leons-the man would give her no more
than one. At last the poor girl gave
way with tears, and the barber was
about to employ the fatal scissors when
the American interviewed and demanded
the cause of the sad affair.
He found that the girls parents, who
formerly had been we'll off, were in the
last extremity of poverty, and that she
had determined to make so great sac.
rifice in order to obtain them little
bread. The stranger drew out two bank
notes and offered them to the girl, say
ing:
will yon let me buy your hair?"
Without even looking at the notes, the
girl at once said, Eyes"
The American delicately took single
hair, put it in his pocketbook-and fled.
Not till he had gone did she look al
her bank notes, and found them to be OF
the value Of 800. -Elmira Telegram.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
sou1A AFRICAN COOKERY.
The Native Bill Of Fare Carries Dismay
to the White Man.


A very palatable dish is made Of an
elephants foot by putting it in hole.
building fire around and over it and
keeping it going for five or six hours.
Elephants tail is said to be very deli
cious when washed, scraped and fried
until il is rich brown. A novel way
of making stew is practiced by one
tribe, who use the animals skin as re-
ceptacle for water Put in this water
vegetables and pieces of meat and then
add redhot stones. This generates vast
quantities of steam and makes the wa
ter boil without injuring greatly the
surrounding hide. At the end of an
hour the contents are cooked and the
water has become very fair soup, but
little peculiar on account of the
amount Of cinders, sand and fragments
of stone it contains Still another tribe
cook locusts, grasshoppers, katydids and
the like, and say they taste great deal
like an overlooked shrimp. None Of the
native tribes, so far as known, ever eat
the lion, bat they have no such feeling
toward other carnivora.
The jackal, wolf and fox are more or
less popular, and are reported to give
very palatable meat. Where our people
hang mutton, game and the immortal
goose to season it and give 1t rich
flavor, many South American tribes Sc
cure the same result by burying meat
in the earth and leaving it there for
several days. No civilized man has ever
been able to eat it in this condition,
but the savages pronounce it delicacy
of extraordinary merit. Not alone is
cannibalism practiced to large extent,
but our Darwinian cousins of the mon
key tribe share the same fate. In the
districts where they are employed as
food they are very timid and fly at the
sight of human being even at great
distance. In other territories, where
they are unmolested, they are about as
tame and fearless as In South America
or India. In nearly all Of these tribes
the woman is the cook and the waiter,
very often the butcher and sometimes
the hunter. New York Mail and Ex-
press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
HE RANG UP ANOTHER.
q Sober Mans Funny Experience With
Fare Register.

Sometimes things happen to men who
are perfectly sober This one happened
ON a north bound "limits" car.
The car was crowded, and when
Schiller street was reached, the lady who
sat Just about amidships was unable to
attract the attention Of the conductor to
have him signal SO she might get off.
Mr.. Sanborn is always gracious, al
ways suaye, always courteous He saw
beauty in distrVs, and he believed III
helping his neighbor. So he reached M
to the cord and rang the bell. OF course
1t was the wrong cord. and the arrow
on the face of the cash register moved
up from 60 to Sc.
It is not recorded that conductor
ever failed to notice it when this sort OF
blunder occurred. And SO the conductor,
far away as he was, out of sight of the
passengers signal, began to edge his
way forward through the crowd, venge-
ance threatened by his manner.
or course the passengers Uttered, and
Mr.. Sanborn should have turned red.
But he didn't.
He awaited the approach OF the col
lision with the same suavity. The lady
in whose behalf the harm was done had
left him to his fate and was edging to
the front door as the car came to a halt.
"Who rang up that fare?" demanded
the man with proper grievance.
"Idid, " manfully replied the culprit.
He afterward avowed that he was ready
to plead guilty in any other language,
if, as he expected, the conductor might
not be fluent with English.
The representative of corporations
lost no time. He expressed various
opinions, all tending to harmony of
result. of the man who would do such a
consummately idiotic trick as to ring
up fare instead of pulling the signal
bell. OF course from his point Of view
it was stupid trick. The conductor
who would be so stupid would have
trouble in maintaining his standing
with the authorities of the line.
But Mr.. Sanborn wasn't a conductor
and didn't want to be. He accepted the
situation, and when the conductor
reached the end, he was ready.
You'll have to pay that fare" con-
cluded the conductor.
Every we'll, can do it, said Mr..
Sanborn, handing silver dime to his
assailant.
The latter fished around in his pocket
for the nickel that was due in return.
Then came Mr.. Sanborn's revenge.
"You may keep the change, ;" he said,
with the same unfailing suavity. 81
want TO ring it again.
And ring it again he did, to the de-
light of the sympathetic passengers,
who had before enjoyed the situation
and now found their pleasure multi
piled. But the dumfounded conductor
squeezed his way back to his domain of
the platform and muttered, well, I'm
darned. "-Chicago Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04

Leave Lambertville for Manunka Chunk 8.3s.
9S5 M 1877, SGT and s.iS p m. Sunday, s.lS p M
For Phillipsburg and Easton only $50 m week
days.
Leave Frenchtown 9O4, 1901 m, 21O. $50 and
S42 p IN weekdays. s.42 p m Sundays. For Phil
lipsburg and Easton only. 100 m.
Arrive at Phillipsburg 9s7 and 10.S5 a. m, 2.i5,
55s, 1876 and 9.is p. m Sunday 9.is p. M
Leave Phillipsburg 7.25, s.42 and 1040 m, 2.5e.
Goa aud 9.23 p m. Sunday, 20 m.
Arrive Belvldere 7.5s, 1906 and 11e7 m, s.si,
6.S2 and So p IN. Sunday, 963 p M.
Arrive Manunka Chunk sos. l0.12and II. ~,
$3.50. 63s and 1000 m. Sunday loco p m.
Additional trains leave Belvidere for Manunka
Chunk 700 and $50 a m, and 20 m. sunday
100 nj. Returning, leave Manunka hunk for
Belyidere s.26, lois m, 430 $40 and 1905 m.
Sunday, 1905 D m.
Freight or mixed trains leaving Manunka
Chunk at 6 90 m, BeIvidere 6.l5 IN. Martins
Creek IS a M arriving Lehigh Junction SO m
will carry passengers and make stops at flag sta
tons north of Phillipsburg. Trains leaving Ma
nunka Chunk at S.25 a m and 4.S0 M, Will carry
passengers to Belvidere.
Passengers for Broad Street Station, Philadel-
phia, by trains leaving MaDunka Chunk 725 a m
daily. and ~ 20, 5.2i p m weekdays, and leaving
Phillpsburg SEQ daily, 7l5 m aud 100
557 m week days go through without change at
Trenton. A through car for Manunka Chunk Is
attached to trains leaving Broad Street Station at
6.07, s.l4 m. 1900 noon. 1852, and 602 m; BY all
other trains passengers to or from Broad street
change cars at Trenton.
Connection is made at Manunka CHUNK with
delaware, Lackawanna Western Railroad Lee
high Junction with Lehigh Valley Lehigh Sus.
quehanna, M orris Essex and New Jersey CentTs
Railroads. At Lambertviile with Pennington Raj
road At Trenton with traius to and from Ne.
York, Camden. DC.
Forfurther / information roe timetables, which
san be obtained al the ticket Offices.
J n. WOOD
General Passenger Agent.
= NJ PROVOST
General Manager
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04

Sad End of a Bad Roy.

Our early stories are mostly as inter
esting as our first poems. have only
one specimen quotable just now, but it
is a gem. 1t was written by little girl
--of 8, believe-and was a highly
moral tale of little boy whose fault
was greediness, and who overate him
self at a Christmas party. The conse-
quence and punishment of this piece of
debauchery was a severe attack Of scar
let fever on the following day, and he
rapidly became worse. The sequel is
told in dialogue form:
Mamma-Arthur, you are very ill.,
Arthur-Yes, mamma.
Mamma-Arthur. do you know you are goips
to die7
Arthur-Yes, mamma.
Mamma-Arthur, do you not think you had
better say prayerG
But he had not time-he died.
Surely there is an antique, even
Eschylean, simplicity about this method
Of bringing in the catastrophe which
most Of us would do we'll to heed. -
London Speaker.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
Lincoln,s Grammar.

The grammar studied by Abraham
Lincoln when he clerked in Denton
Offutt's store at New Salem in 1880 is
in North Dakota, in the possession of
the widow of Robert Rutledge of Cas-
selton. In the inside of the front cover
is receipt for $50, given with an order
ON James Rutledge by .Offutt in Lin
coins handwriting and over his sigma
ture. indianapolis Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
ITO Hang Ont"

The following is an early instance Of
the phrase:
And you his sad COMPANIONS to whome Lent
Becomes more lenten by this accident.
Henceforth your waiving fagg no more hang
out,
Play now no more at all; when round aboute
Wee look and miss the Atlas of your spheare.
What comfort have wee, think you, to be there
And how can you delight in playing. when
Such mourning soc affecteth other menS
This quotation is from an anonymous
elegy ON the death of Richard Burbage,
the actor, who died 1920. See Collier q
Annals of the Stage volume /, page
431.--Notes and Queries.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
Cheap Mt the Price,

Il paid dollar and half for this
seat, said the angry plebeian in the
front row. land I didn't come here
merely to listen to your chatter. +"
My deah fellaw, suavely responded
Chollie from the box, "theah aw persons
who have gone to the expense of thou
sands and still were unable to get with
in hearing distance of any of ouah set.
You have a bawgain. indianapolis
Jourual
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
Juvenile Logic.

School children who air their newly
acquired knowledge before their young
er brothers and sisters at home some
times meet more than their match.
Such q pupil, a little girl. was talk
ing learnedly to her brother.
my teacher says that rubber tree
grow wild in Florida" she announced
"S'pose they do, answered the nm
impressible youngster. Nobody evel
thinks of rubbers until 1t rains, ant
then it's too wet to 20 into the woods. )
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
Germany and Steam.

In Adolph Werter's queer little vol
ume Of mechanical statistics and oddi-
ties. which bears the very appropriate
title of "Curiosities of the Steam En-
gine." we find the following: THE
very first steam engine which ever re.
volved its wheels in Germany was sci
in motion by Harkort at Freiheitwet
ter ON Aug. 25, 1885.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04

II the molasses and butter to be used
in gingerbread be heated together to al
most the boiling point before being
stirred in with the other ingredients,
the cake will be improved.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
A Common Error.

One of the very funniest mistakes that
nine-tenths of the members of congress
make, neither house being excepted. is
to continually speak Of woman who
has lost her husband as widow wo-
man." Even Mr.. Barrett used the term.
Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
LAMBBRTVILLE NATIONAL BANK,
LAMBERTvILLE, N. J.

| The Bank will be opened at O'Clock, A. M, and
close at o'clock p. M. on all business days, ex-
cept Saturdays when the closing time win be /
O'Clock, p. NJ.
All legal holidays observed.
Stated meetings of the Directors every Monday,
at 10 o'clock, A. M.
SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES TO RENT at Ave and
seven dollars per year.
lected.
WILLS, when enclosed In sealed envelopes and
accompanied with written instructions IS to their
delivery. in Of death, will be receipted for
and kept. free of charge.
STOCKS AND SECURITIES PURCHASED for
patrons of the Bank, at market prices.
We respectfully solicit accounts, and offer every
accommodation consistent with conservative
ISAIAH r. SMITH,
Cashier.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04

In all governments there must Of me-
cessity be both the law and the sword |;
laws without arms would give rs not
liberty, but icentiousness; and arms
without laws would produce not subjeo-
tion, but slavery. Cotton.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
Near Enough to eues. py.

A lady walked into Boston book
store in search of Elizabeth Stuart
Phelps Burglars In Paradise " But
what she asked for was "Smugglers In
Heaven. boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04
j. HELMS
Coryell Street
Hardware Store.

A large assortment of Hardware,
Carpenters Tools, Table and Pock
ct Cutlery, Mason's Tools, Barb
Wire, Willow and Wooden Ware,
Churns, Tubs, Washing Machines,
Cement, Calcimine Plaster, Plaster
ing Hair, Poultry Wire, Rcfrigera-
tors, Ice Cream Freezers, Sporting
Goods, Powder and Shot. Also,
agent for the
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04

The swallow, in preparing its nest,
drives its tunnel first upward and then
downward. in order that the nest may
be properly drained.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04

Kentucky's factories employ 65.579
hands, and send out annually product
valued at sI26, 719, 857.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-03-04

Leave New York, via Trenton, 7.20, HOO a
2fO 3. 90, 400 and 600 m. Sunday, 600 pm.
Leave Philadelphia (Rensington) $50, 740, i1.I7
a m, 1880 $50 430 and 6.14 m.
Leave Philadelphia BROAD Street Station) $50
and 8.I4 m. 1900 noon, ESQ, 1852, 500 and 6.02
p m. Sunday, 6.26 m.
Leave Trenton 1852, 904 m, 100, $40, 442, $50
aud 1856 p m. Sunday, 1856 p. m.
Arrive Lambe rtyille s.s3 935 m, 1.s7, 4.15, OF,
$50 and S.l3 p IN. Sunday, S1S pm,
Birmingham state herald., 1896-01-03
Chicago Change.

Chicago, Jan. 2.-Wheat started in the new year by declining about cent The loss was in accord with the board of trade tradition, which says that on the 2d of Jan uary wheat should be sold. The real in- fluence which worked to the detriment of prices today were the weather and crop con- ditions in the winter grain belt, as reported by the Cincinnati Price Current. The first spell of weakness was succeeded by re- covery to about opening figures, but in the final hour of the session a reaction set in hnd prices receded the only support coming From holders of puts" The weakness of Tuesdays curb, arising from Bradstreet's report on the worlds visible supply, was Irresponsible for lower opening quotations. May wheat opened at 591s@59Ac, sold be- fween 59ss and 5Slac, closing at 5Sss45S%c, lpa11sc lower than Tuesday. Cash wheat was lsSteady.
 " Corn-The trade in corn was slow and Nwithout manifestation of feature or im- Rortance. It simply followed the move ments of wheat, but did not cover wide orange of prices The regular routine news tpf the day was unfavorable May corn bpened at 2S@2ssc, sold between 2S% ana Aday. Cash corn was A@hc per bushel lower. s{ Oats-At intervals there was some trading ' an oats, and in some instances it approached market was little more than nominal. There Twas a comparatively steady tone. May bats closed 1sQAc lower than Tuesday Cash oats were steady at unchanged prices.
 ProvisionS-The expectations of improve ment in product values were realized to some extent today. The first or the year was looked forward to as the time when the course of the market would change, ana the accuracy of the predictions. The run of hogs was light and prices at the yards were firm. This was one reason Tor the lm- provement. There was a good demand ana less of a disposition to go short or the market The cash market was steady.
 The leading futures ranged as follows
Birmingham state herald., 1896-01-03
Suns Cotton Review.

New York, Jan. 2.-The Suns cotton re- view says: Cotton rose points. then re- aacted and closed quiet but steady at a de- cline at to points, with sales of 220 200 bales. Liverpool advanced 5h points for futures, then reacted and closed very steady, at net advance of 3lA to points. Spot cotton there advanced 1-16d, with sales of 1000 bales.
 Today's features: An upward turn of prices in the early business was due to fa- vorable foreign news in the shape of ac- tivity and higher prices at Liverpool and bullish Manchester advces, local covering and some buying for southern and Liverpool account. Some of the private Liverpool cables were quite bullish, owing to a report ed Improvement in the political outlook on the other side.- But later on Liverpool re- acted and the receipts at New Orleans to- morrow being estimated at rather liberal figures, a selling movement set in, which carried prices slightly below the final figures of Tuesday. Yet the undertone at the close was steady, for the receipts were light the demand for the actual cotton here and in Europe was liberal. spot prices at some southern markets were higher, all tending to encourage the bulls. The quantity to be brought into sight this week was at one time estimated at 240. 900 bales, but 1t is now estimated at 190.000 bales, against 27S 900 bales for the same week last year For tha current week in 1928 there was no decrease in the stock but this week there is likely to be falling off of about l5,000 bales. It will be remembered that in 1928 the crop was 6.717 900 bales.
Birmingham state herald., 1896-01-03
I.iuernool Cotton Market.

Liverpool, Jan. 2.--12:30 D. m.-Cotton was in fair demand and prices steady; Ameri- can middlng, 1S-17d; sales, 12,0O0 bales, of which 10 300 bales were American; for specu- lation and export, 1000 bales; receipts, 1000 bales of which 19, 400 bales we're American. Futures opened steady and in fair demand. American middling and low middlng clause quotations: January and February, H-64q 2S-64lJ4 N-64GI4 2S-6fd; March and April, 27-646u4 2s-64@p4 H-e4d; April and May; 1 2S-64d; May and June, 29-6lep4 2S-6fl4 Z1-6l9 28-646i4 29-64d; June and July, 2S-64d; July and August, S0-6id; August and September, 29-64d.
 American spot grades advanced 1-16d; American mddling, fair, 5d; good middling, 11-16d; middling, 19-32d;, low middling, 4lxd; good ordinary 4asd. ordinary, 3-16d.
 Liverpool; Jan. 21a D. mmAmeriean. ,11l. mid January and February, 4 3l-64d buyers; Feb ruary and March, Sl.6id value; March 2, and eii value; May and June, 431-64a4 32-64d sellers; June and July, 32-64d sellers; July. and August, 4 32-64dI4 33-64d buyers August and September, 31-640D4 32-64d value; September and October, 4 26-64d value: October and November 4 34-64d sellers. Futures closed very steady sfr-4