The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-01-13

ness. Fraulein Brockhardt, to read the
first two or three chapters for me; 1
will then go on with the fourth.-Feiera-
bend.
Wrong as to Sex-Heber-Papa, we
call a war between people of the same
nation an internecine war. don't we?
I Father-Yes, my boy. Heber-W ouldn't
war? The nieces never have anything to
! do with war.-Harpers Round Table.
Two Better.-Mr. Isaacs enthusiastic
! wife undt family. Mr.. Gohens detected
+ ly)-Ach! dot vas holdings! l hat gone
trough dree fires for mein wife undt
family. undt even den I CANT get enough
moneys to satisfy DER ogztraVagances.-
Puck.
The The Kind Wanted1mDruggist tglibly)-
zo %h soap yes for Th facial is faults nG sHd
this is ''Korker's Komplexion Kream
SOAP" here's '"Tolliyer's Tar, makes
ssih1a a poo pg4 lgxury;a queen of Cas-
Mrs. Casey Gnterrupting)-He yez en-
ny that will TEX off the dirt?-Puck.
Magistrate-Your name? Bashfui Maid
e amt A hsHg No 6ens snsMer r %hen
We're your parents married?' "In 1853
| How many brothers and sisters have
you?' 'F'ive?" Are you the eldest?"
Then you are 81 years of age" Yes.
(Sotto voce)-I have given my age away.
l am surprised. ''-Dorfbarbier
Senator Gorman-.I understand that
F, lecture Of Senator Hilrs, which the peo-
pie wouldn't go to hear, he is going to
work off on the senate in speech one
of these days"
No of Iu-I1l tori nj -f9sI
means "'-Life.
Maude-"Yqung Higgins engagement
Mabel-"Is it broken already?'
1T was broken the very night he pro-
posed"
Yes, you see Huggins shutters fright
| fully, and it took him nearly twenty
minutes to propose, and after. he got
exclaiming: This is so sudden Higgins
thought she was guying him. '-Yonkers
Statesman.
lion reasons why I'd hate to be you and
only one why I'd like to be your ex-
claimed Mrs. Rangle.
fiercely demanded Mr.. Bangle.
Because you've got good wtfe"-
Chicago Tribune.
skidmore-You can distinguish good
money from bad by its conversational
qualities.
snooper-what do you mean?
misunderstanding money talks, but
counterfeit notes have to be uttered
Detroit Free Press.
zone OBJ de- 'scouragin' things bout dis
shere earf" said Uncle Eben "am dat
when er man wishes yer Happy New
Year tain no 'surance tail dat he
in ira 10 " "a Sbirerton Star
% - - sa3svs3xE
Robert Louis stevenson's history of
his own family will appear in the forth
prepared in Edinburgh. It ends with the
great achievement of his grandfather's
life in the building of the Bell Rock
lighthouse.
At a meeting of the British Medical As
ISOLATION the discussion on neurasthenia
and it's treatment was introduced by DR..
Savage in the following words: What
is neurasthenia? There was once a pro-
lessor who, being asked what he knew
upon certain subject, replied. Nothing;
I have not even lectured on it, Lon
don Lancet
1.-THE Maori full off hath cursed it
With its bitterest dying breath;
And the Arab has Kissed his hatred
AS he spits at its folds in death.
''The hapless fellah has feared it
On Tel-el-Kebirs parched plain,
And the Zulus blood has stained it
With a deep, indelible stain.
1t has looked upon ruthless slaughter,
And massacres dire and grim;
1t has heard the shrieks of the victims
Drown even the lingo hymn.
where is the flag of England?
Seek the land where the natives rot;
Where decay and assured extinction
Must soon be the peoples lot.
Co! search for the once glad islands,
Where diseases and death are rife,
And the greed of a callous commerce
Now battens on human life!
where is the flag of England?
Go! sail where rich galleons come
With shoddy and loaded cottons,
And beer, and Bibles, and rum:
Go. too. where brute force has triumphed,
And hypocrisy makes its lair;
And your question will find its answer,
For the flag of England is, there
@ ,f-London Truth.