davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
How He Lost Them.

How He Lost Them.
I'm very unfortunate" said the
young artist.
"You are deficient in one important
quality" replied his candid friend.
'What is that?"
''Tact. When Mr.. Greesem came to
see you about a portrait You never
stopped to think that he made his for
tune out Of lucky streak in kero-
sene."
Never"
"And you told him he ought to have
his pictures done in oil, and he didn't
leave the order"
That's so.''
"And when Mr.. Skimker, who has
prospered as dairyman, called at
your studio you rushed from Scylla to
Charybids and advised him to be done
up iLwater colors. You're O good
painter, my boy, but what you need
ts Observation-Disclosures Star.
He Supposed.
A short time ago young man living
near town in Suffolk was brought be-
fore the magistrate for firing of a gun
ut 10 o'clock at night, to the danger Of
the public.
Being asked why he did it, he said
he was employed by a farmer to scare
birds.
The, magistrate sternly reminded him
that the birds had retired long before
that hour.
The prisoner Tin q very doleful tone)
Well, SUI, I s'pose was a-scaring
the bats!-Answers.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Easx way ont of.M

Look ut that poor old fellow over
there"
Poor? He's worth $25o.0o0 e he's
worth cent"
why doesn't he dress himself, then.
and get something to eat?'
Hes too stingy to spend bis money"
"Well, O man as rich as he Is ought
to be able to borrow some."-(hicaeo
Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
He was Astonished.

''You know" said the lady who with
sincere ardor desires only the best for
the human race, ''that q dog will not
touch whisky?"
Col. Kyahter passed his hand over his
brow in q troubled way and said:
MADAM, do you mean to tell me that
anybody was evan guilty of such out
thgeous extravaganza as to offah whis.
ky to dogY-Washington Star.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
A Tribe Ahead.

"A AUSUU,
"From now on you may let your hus-
band have glass Of beer every day
you understands"
Wife-Yes, doctor, just one glass q
day.
Doctor "a week later)-Now hope
you have kept strictly to that one glass
per day that allowed your husband
to take?
Wife-Most decidedly, doctor-only
he is four weeks ahead with his al
lowance.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
sinxulnr I.n.t III.

Singular. liant TT
Miss Northside Ito her brother)-Do
you know, Fred, that no fewer than
four men want to marry me?
Fred-All right, sis; may the best
man win.
Miss Northside-You don't know
much about such things. A bride does
not marry the best Manipulating
Chronicle1T Telegraph.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
CHAPTER ".

when Lady Evelyne walked away, q
flashing picture of proud annoyance,
Lord Cleve followed her disappearing
figure with hungry eyes. He had long
ago grown accustomed to the failing
which marked his everyday inter-
course
II suppose knew her oncc," he said,
with sigh. "God! how hard it is not
to be able to remember"
His companion, a member of the firm
of solicitors who had served the house
Of Chauncey for generations, had pur-
posely avoided interrupting the little
scene which took place before his eyes.
Solicitors are proverbially cautious,
and Mr.. Archibald Quentheim was pol
ished cautiOusness personitied. He was
fully aware that Herbert Chuuncey
had been shown the door by Lord
Gwendale, and he did not at that mo-
ment care to solve the question wheth-
er or not Lord Cleve's present conduct
was an intentional quid pro quo for
the marquis abrupt termination Of the
former engagement, or whether it was
simply the outcome of the young mans
affection. But when Herbert turned to
him with pallid sadness in his face,
and asked him: "Can you tell me, Mr..
Quenthelm, If I ought to know this
young ladyi?" he felt himself absolved
from the consequences of an abrupt
explanation, and replied:
Certainly, my lord. You were once
engaged to be married to her."
You amaze me-" Herbert answered.
II have no memory of the thing at all.
Most likely cared very much for her
once, and perhaps she cared for me-
perhaps she cares for me still. Sho
must have thought me very rude.
What did she say her name was--Eve-
lyme .Wynter? wonder what Lucy
would say We're to breach the idea OF
marrying?"
A wistful little laugh tripped in the
wake Of the words.
"Let us follow them, Mr.. Quen.
thelm," Lord Cleve suggested to the
solicitor, and the two pushed their
way through the little knots Of pedes.
TRANS toward the point where Lady
Evelyne and her father had disap.
peared from view.
DO you know that she was q pretty
girl?" Lord Cleve continued, "and I
admire my own taste in once having
thought well Of her. Not as pretty as
Lucy, though. have never seen any
woman half as pretty us Lucy" He
stopped for a moment and looked into
his companions eyes. "Nor millionth
part as good" he added, with serious
emphasis. I'm sure I do not know
one-eighth Of what she has done for
me-and never shall know, suppose
but thus far my memory carries me,
that when recovered from my
wounds, her face beamed upon me like
an angels, and she has been my untir-
ing good angel ever SINCE"
The search proved fruitless. Tho
marquis and his daughter had left the
park by Apsley Gate. where the great
Picadilly season traffic gaped to en-
gulf them.
While they were standing by the
edge of the sidewalk, consulting with
one another WHITTIER to turn their
steps. a peculiar incident attracted
their attention.
(To Be Continued.)
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
An Easy Matter

Sinmons-How in the world do you
get yourself into the proper frame Of
mind to write those pessinlistic poemsi
.Timmins-I use fountain pen.-In.
diauapolis journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21

meeting nI
hear thAt'youI
nothing. more
Eyes, that's |
reply. |
whats the
( 1--WE got ma
ago" S
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Sure to Do n Likenea.

sure Wv NC u LttkemGBS.
There's a photograph Of Grumpers
in the window back here"
Good one?"
Excellent"
"Well, knew he wouldn't look
pc SAINT, even for a photographer
CLNago Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Might Have Known.

Young Wife-Hubby, dear, do you
Ove me better than your pipe?
1oung Husband-What a foolish
question you ask, dear.
Young Wife (sadly)-Yes; I might
have known without asking.-Detroit
Free Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
On Dangerous Ground.
A Dimculty Overcome.

1--WE made old man Virgins a pres.
ent Of q new hat"
"How did you get him to take 1t? He
needed it badly enough, but he's 80
proud"
"Oh, easy; bet him hat when I
knew I'd ose."-Chicago Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Hard MT 1t.

Mrs Aim surprised that your hus.
band earns so little If he works as hard
Us you say. What does he do?
Mrs. B.-The last thing he did was to
calculate how many times a clock
licked in the course Of a thousand
years.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
No Scramble for This Place.

No Scramble for This Place.
Marie Women are fast leaving thei.
own walks Of life, aren't they?
Billson-Yes; but here is one walk
which they will always leave to man.
Marie What's that?
Billson-Up and down the bedroom
half the night with restless baby
Peterson's Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
From the German

A gentleman who had just returned,
after an absence Of a few months,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Thc Riwht Sort of stuR.
Tha Tahle. Turned.

The Tables Turned.
II shall have to 60 to my room and
stay there; positively SHALL" said
Willie Wibblcs. II can't stand 1t any
longer"
whats. the matter?"
tits getting to be beyond endurance
the rude way these bicycle girls stare
at young man who is standing OF
the pavement"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21

reptile 4, a6abIy, but Ills manner shoiw,Icl
that he believed that he wac speaking
to q perfect stranger. ss
"Rut don't you know mer. Lady Nv
elyne continued, in amaxement.
II have not that pleasure" Lord
Cleve replied, rs pleasantly as before.
Evelyne felt q bull rising in her
throat. (.
"You don't know n,e?" she ex-
claimed, in half-suffocating wonder.
"YOu don't know Evelyne Wynter?" v
II am very sorry the young man
answered, in an even-tempered. com.
monplace manner, but do not"
Lady Evelyne stepped back and
bowed stifiiy. She even looked the
young man up and down with a with
ering glance, which seemed to produce
no impression but faint and curious
astonishment.
"Thank you. my lord" she ex-
claimed. and rejcired her father.
Yet she could not help turning her
head.
Lord Cleve's face had assumed an
expression Of puzzled anxiety, and her
quickened ear caught the words
barely whispered, as they were, to the
young mans companion:
"Evelyne Wynter! Evelyne Wynter?
Ought I to know her? Do know
hery''
''Let us go home. pa, DEAR" she
whispered, when she was again lean
ing on Lord Gwendale's arm. let us
so home. l do SO want to cry"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
A sprinE Poet.

"Sire," announced the slave, ''there
is a driveling idiot below"
The successful magazine editor start
ed violently.
"Show him right up," he exclaimed,
with emotion. 1--WE are constantly on
the lookout for new talent" detroit
Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21

Mrs. Jones (when the glass fell)-Oh,
dear, just know some i'll luck is
coming to us!-Truth.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Hard to Describe.

Lizzie--What do you call it?
Maggie-It ain't got no name yet
yer see, father put an egg under o
Newfounlan' dorg an made him ret
on it!-Truth.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
alady WIG shows sympt y " psss.
posing eshington Star. |
Caution 10 Parcnvs.

"a Caution 70 PaFenya.
I'D Ike tS hear you play the violin,
Mr.. Tlllinghast," said seven-ye old
Tommy Dillingham;, who was enter
tanning the caller.
a "But I don't play the violin, Tom.
my" .
''Then papa must be mistaken; I
heard him tell mamma that you play
ed second fiddle at home."-Detrois
Free Press.
The Right Sort OF stuR.
"Do you think you hive self-posses-
sion and nerve enough to be q report
err" asked the managing editor Of an
applicant.
II think 80, sir"
I, "And what makes you think so!"
II am only twenty" was the reply.
"but I have proposed to 1--WE different
girls"
He was taken on.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Thought It Best.

Eminent specialist-Yes, madam.
your husband is suffering from tenn.
porary alteration, due to overwork.
The form Of his mania it quite COM
mon.
Wife-Yes, he insists that he is a
millionaire.
Eminent Specialist-And wants to
pay me $500 for my advice. Wen
have to humor him, you know.-Col.
lier's Weekly.
On Dangerous Ground.
do you believe in woman lectur-
ers" the man in the fur cap was ask.
ing.
The man with the thin chest opened
1t and produced one Of his apologize
coughs.
"sh-speak easy" he said nervously;
that's my wife in the next seat."-New
York Recorder.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
The Good and the Bad Sailor.

She-It's splendid, I should think, to
live the life Of tar.
Hell am afraid there would be too
much pitch about it for me.-Ally Slo.
per.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21
Leap Year Etiquette.

HE 10 reslSH, Sulu tile ed
e of the how-to.behave
eriOdical.
matter:" inquired the
lie are getting too ab-
Heres a young man
Inquire just how far 1t
gentleman to encourage
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-02-21

nm RI ||l''! N.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22
PERSONAL,

Miss Emma Davenport of South Jardin
street, is seriously IN.
Louis Goldin, the South Main street clothier,
returned from New York City last evening.
James AlclIugh, ianitor Of the Union
street school is reported dangerously i'll.
owen McAnally, the representative Of
Ginrdyilles sporting circles, was visitor to
town yesterday afternoon.
John VI. Hilliau the representative of the
Lauer Brewing Company, is in town in the
interest of the company booming the popu-
lar beverage of that company. Mr.. Kilian
and his company have many warm friends
here.
Miss Mary Sncddon spent yesterday with
Mt Carmel acquaintances.
Misses Winilrcd and May Reilly were visi-
tors to Gimrdvlle last evening.
Joseph Smith, formerly at McElhenny S
cafe, Mahanoy City, has resumed position
behind the bar at Brecn's Rialto cafe.
Messrs Christ Schmidt and Jacob Noll re-
turned from Pittsburg last evening, where
they attended the annual convention Of the
Catholic Knights.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22
A GOOD PRACTICE.


If You want IA Good Appetite and Perfect
Digestion.
After each meal dissolve one or two of
stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets in the mouth and,
mingling with the food, they constitute a
perfect digestive, absolutely safe for the
most sensitive stomach.
They digest the food before it has time to
fermcnt thus preventing the formation Of
gas and keeping the blood pure and free
from the poisonous products of fermented,
halfdigested food
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets make the COM
ploxion clear by keeping the blood pure.
They increase flesh by digesting flesh
forming foods.
stuarts Dyspepsia Tablets is the only
remedy designed especially for the cure of
stomach troubles and nothing else.
One disease, one remedy, the successful
physician Of to-day is the specialist, the sue
cessful medicine is the medicine prepared
especially for one disease
A whole package taken at one time would
not hurt you, but would simply be waste of
good material
over six thousand men and women in the
state of Michigan alone have cured of in
digestion and dyspepsia by the use of Stu
arts Dyspepsia Tablets
Sold by all druggists at so cents per pack
age.
Send for Free Book on stomach diseases to
Stuart Co., Marshall, Mich.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22
watching a Fnibustering Steamer.

JACKSONVILLE, May 22.-The revenue
cutter Boutwell, arrived in port yesterday
afternoon with instructions to watch the
steamer Three Friends, suspected Of en-
gaging in aaother filibustering expedition
Arms and ammunition have been stored
at Woodlawn, fourteen miles down the
river and the Three Friends left last night
to take them on board, ostensibly to be
conveyed to Key West. The Boutwell, pro-
ceeded to watch the vessel. The master OF
the Three Friends has been instructed tC
report to the collector of customs before
leaving the river, and the Boutwell, will
seize her if any attempt is made to lo~'v@
without so dding.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22

WAsHINGTON May 22.-The senate COM
mittee on finance was called together in
special session yesterday at the instance of
Senator sherman to consider whether it
was not possible even yet to formulate
some bill to increase the revenues of the
government upon which the Democrats
and Republicans could agree, and thus in
sure its passage during the present ses-
sion. The meeting was very brief one,
and it Immediately became apparent that
there was no possibility of reaching com
mon understanding. Senator German 5
suggestion for a tax on tea and coffee was
dismissed with a very brief consideration.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22

The long dmwn-out fight over the water
uperintendency has at last been settled,
Oscar Bettcridgc being reelected, There is
little honor in the outcome for at least one
c tizen member of Council, while the five
members of that party who stood by the party
nominee throughout the contest to the last
seeing the impossibility Of landing their
candidate for water superintendent and not
wishing to block borough business did the
next best thing and secured Councilman
from the Second ward, For this they are
being highly complimentcd. The public, as
VIII as the Couucilmen, are no doubt pleased
atthe matter is settled, with houors even.
Personal revenge when carried into borough
affairs will always bring forth just condem-
nation from a suffering constituency.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22
THE RUSSIAN PAGEANT.

The eyes Of the world are upon Russia just
now, and the reports Of the pomp and cere-
mJny attendant upon the coronation of the
rulers of that vast domain are read with
ayidity everywhere. The coronation Of
Alexander III cost S2O,OOJ,OOO and it is
expected the coronation Of his son Nicholas
will exceed that vast sum, and for magnit-
ceuce it will exceed anything Of the kind
the world has ever seen.
1t is attended by royal and somi-royal
diguittric7 from all parts of the world, each
attended by a numerous suite. Representa-
tiyes of every civilized government under
the sun are there and of many unciyilized
ones beside. Far of China is represented by
her greatest statesman, and Japan by her
greatest general. All the semi-barbarous
tribes under Russian domination have sent
their chiefs to do homage to the Great White
Car. their suzenin, and renew their fealty
upon the occasion Of his inyostture with the
symbol Of his kingship.
Taken altogether, it is one of the most
Impressive ceremonies known TO man and
fairly dazzles the eyes of all who witness it,.
Yet underneath the surface and back Of all
this pagcantry, there is probably more misery
aud degradation than IN amy other part Of
the civilized world, and the thoughtful mind
cannot but recall the tragic death of Alex
auder IL, as well as the several attempts upon
the life of Alexander III, and wonder how
soon similar attempts will be made upon the
life of Nicholas II by some of the very sub
iects who are attending the grand ccrcmouie,
OF to-day.
There is probably no country ON the earth
where the subject is So hcnmcd in by re-
-Jictions and arbitrary laws as Russia; no
land where civilization and barbarism are 50
close together, and where autocatc power is
So rclcntlessly welded without any regard
for the well being Of the subject; where the
common people are looked upon as little
better than cattle and whose lives are not
much better. Behind all this barbaric
spleudor is the oppression Of people whose
religious beliefs differ from that prescribed
By the Russian law, and of those striving for
liberty of thought, so that il is difficult for
am American TO realize the possibility of So
tampling upon the right' Of human beings,
lual i'm the sight of God. by this autocwt
claiming a Divine right TO govern them.
1t is said this young monarch is more
literally inclined than his predecessor, upon
whose life his subjects made several attempt.
as protests against Tyranny TO attract the
attention Of the world and stirup his subject.
to agitate the question Of human liberty
which they were not permitted TO do by
peaceful means 1t is 10 bc hoped that he is
and that his reign win be- sgnalized, mo-
ouiy by the pardon of a few who have trans
arcssel the law, but by the granting o
greater political rights and constitutions
governments with freedom Of conscience.
Russia is the greatest country in the world
mud its rapid development would follow
quickly upon the heels Of the onfrauchise
neut of her PEOPLE should the young Co
rise 10 the heights Of such craftsmanship hi
name and fame would 80 ringing down th'
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22
The Ideal Panacea.

James L; Francis, Alderman, Chicago, says:
81 regard DIR. Kings New Discovery as an
Ideal Panacea for Coughs, Colds and Lung
Complaints, having used it in my family for
the last five years, to the exclusion of
physicians prescriptions or other prepara-
tions"
Rev. John Burgus, Keokuk Iowa. writes ::
II have been a Minister of the Methodist
Episcopal church for 80 years or more, and
have never found anything so beneficial, or
that gave me such speedy relief as Dr. Kings
New Discovery" Try this Ideal Cough
Remedy now. Trial bottles free at A.
WasleY's drug store.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22
For county Commissioner.

Mr.. EDITOR The weightiest political
subject now claiming the attention of Re
publicans throughout the country and over
shadowing local politics in the columns of
our great Republican papers is the Presidential
nomination, but this convention will soon be
thing Of the past, and the preparation for a
county convention will demand the attention
Of Republicans who have the welfare of local
government at heart. Before long the voice
Of the candidates will be heard in the county,
and those who know say we will not require
the services of a detective to discover
aspirants for the different offices Their
name is legion. Shenandoah has been credited
with having one hundred men qualified to
serve the county, aud who are looking with
longing eyes toward the hill" at Pottsville
However that may be, we feel that the
pleasure of anticipation will exceed those of
realization with about ninety-nine of that
hundred For the other one though we do
claim the pleasure of realization and by right
of our Uuswerving Republcanism we boldly
make "a stand and with confidence born of
sense Of justice to the party north of the
mountain, we proudly proclaim to the Re-
publican voters of Schuylkiu county the
name Of William Neswenter, Of Shenandoah,
| for County Commissioner. OF Mr.. Nes-
Wcntcrs ability and htness Tor the Office it Is
unnecessary to speak, as his large acquaint-
autcship throughout the confines Of the
county have spread the story of his honor,
integrity and business capacity far better
than could be done in an article of this kind
Mr.. Neiswenter, or Billy, as he is lamiliarly
called, has ever been in the foremost rank of
workers and fighters in the cause of
Republicanism, and not only this, but
his purse has always been open when
legitimate expenses were to be met
Although repeatedly urged to seek Office he
has strenuously declined in favor of some
other man. After great solicitation we have
| gained the use of Mr.. Neiswenter's name for
the office of County Commissioner, and have
resolved that as far as is consistent with dig
nifty, and a pure and proper regard for the
success Of the party, we must receive due
consideration at the hands Of our conven-
ton next August.
MANY REPUBLICANS.
Shenandoah, MAY 18th. 1896
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-05-22

ST. Louis May ~ Reports of storms
continue to come in from various section.
of Missouri, At Eldon a tornado damaged
the property TO the amount Of $4,000 and
severely injured a number Of people Mrs
Earsart was found dead after the storm
The Methodist and Congregational
churches We're totally wrecked A number
of houses We're demolished and twenty
others were submerged by water Near
Greenridge orchards, growing crops and
timber were swept away and one woman
was seriously injured. AZ Chilhowie q
dozen residences were unroofed. Near
Bolton Charles Miller uged 20, was
drowned