The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-08-06
AncoRpING TO NATURE.

RIVALS.
We'll, what do you Think mat oiu
goose offers himself in this letter.
al don't blame him. He's urea Oh
being refused"
A REMINDER.
Uc-Miss Edgerton reminds me OF
delicate piece of china
Shetland painted9
pE LOOKED TO THE RIGHT AND LEFT.
Mie5 Wheeler Isn't the scenery beau
tiful along that road?
RYDER VERY! Pm using court plaster
and arnica on account of that scenery.
HARD TINES.
"Where are you going to take your
family this summer HicksT
ITO oney Island"
"Whatl For the summer"
"No; for day.
WOULDN'T HAVE THE CHANCE.
Mrs. Newife-I acknowledge that
have nv faults and am sometimes cross,
Jack, DEAR but if | had the last Two years
of nv life to live over again l should
marry you just the same.
Mr.. Newife-I doubt it.
az tell YOU. drank nothing but soda
"But you tried for five minutes to light
your cigar at -"
81 couldn't reach it "
at an electric light"
HE COULDN'T HELP IT.
Old Longnecker (severely)-1 Dung
man, do you love your neighbor as your
self?
Young Tutgall enthusiastically GU
bet And say, you lust ought to see her
49, curly hair, dimplcs in her cheeks ana
not day over nineteen
FROM BAD TO WORSE.
Arthur think we had better row
further in and hug
Emily-Why, Arthur Aren't you
ashamed of yourself!
Arthur-the shore,
Emily-Nlr. Merriam, take me to shore
at once
AT TIE SUMNER HOTEL
MAY. And you told your mother that
he had been introduced to you?
Ethel Well, he was introduced to me-
May.-By whom?
Ethel. By himself.
FOWL LANGUAGE.
Chick-Ma, that hen setting over there
has laid seven eggs to-day. She's quite
phenom, isn't she?
Old Hen-My son, l wish you would
refrain from using such vulgar slang.
Why do you not call her phenom hen
on?
PERHAPS HE FAVORED THE HONE TEAM.
First Girl-She doesn't understand base
ball at all.
Second Girl-No?
First Girl-No. WHY, thiN other day
she went to a game and fell b love with
the umpire.
HARD ON THE HoTl l.
"What sort of climate haas you?" in
quired the prospective guest.
First rate" said the proprietor of the
summer resort. Cool and bracing; Gre
ates great appetite. Why, our guests
declare that they are as hungry after
meal as before"
ONTO IT AT LAST
'Great Scott" said the mosquito, as
the jet of air from the punctured bicycle
tire struck him, 'what lo1y trick these
cyclers are putting up or u.s. But
then"
He hummed meditativey.
"-luckily I've got wind C3kw
THE EXCEPTION TO THE nVGS.
Everybody is grumbling a3out the hot
weather."
mot everybody. The 81 , ner hotel
keepers haven't made any 6iCk as yet
about the hot weather"
SEEMED TO NEED AN oiyASR.
City Boarder Cant auytl ing be done
for those poor chickens of VOWS?
Farmer. What is the matt y with em2
Boardcr. Insomnia; --noEe of them
could sleep wink after four o'clock this
morning.
ONE OF 5OHENIE's SISTERS.
Johnnie Chaffie's sister, Lille, is some
what given to flirting. A few days ago
Mr.. Phoneyman asked her:
"Miss Lille, were you born in March?"
"Why no, Mr.. Phoneyman; why do
you ask ?"
81 didn't know but you were born in
March, as you have some arch ways about
you"
ALL THE REQUISITES.
So you have written novel?"
"Yes."
"Has your heroine satin skin, velvet
eyelashes and hair like threads of spun
gold 2"
ayes"
SIS her name Gwendoline?"
at is"
''Then | don't see why it shouldn't be
a success"
The Judges Reproof
The venerable Judge Allen, of the
United States Circuit Court, at Spring
field, ILL.,, was hearing a case a few
years ago, in which James C. Courtney
was one of the attorneys. The counsel
on tho nnnnGitn ci no