The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-10
JONATHAN ABROAD.
The Unwilling Tourist and His Tale
Of Woe.
From the New York Journal.

OF Woe.
From the New York Journal
London. May 30.-In the lobby OF a tenn
perance hotel / came upon a country
man of mine whom 1 have known many
years lie was sitting with a cigar in his
mouth, looking. with CLASSY eXpression7
less eyes. at the people who passed and
repassed before him. and showing in his
face and attitude a WEAKNESS Of body
and soul that was indescribably pitiful
l spoke 10 him. and his face lit up with
an exquisite Joy as his eyes fell upon ia
miliar features-features that he had
known in his own uca- country, TOT "A
man Is never more patriotic than when
lac is homesick in big town like Lon
don.
well, I am glad to see you" he cried,
with fervid cordially. Il hain't seen an
American, barrin' the folks in our party,
for a week, an 10 tell the TRUTH / IN get
tim fearful homesick an lonely This ere
European traVelIn ain't much IN my llne'
] guess. but my wIie an daughters are
stuck on IT, an there was no peace in the
house Tin / agreed to fetch EN- all over
here We joined one o. them Cooks par
ties. an they've kept us on the jump ever
Where have you been since you arrived
here2' j asked.
"The Lord only knows" he reio.ned
YEARLY, as he drew "A long pamphlet whlcn
he called his "eyetnnery" from an inside
pocket. and began to consult 1t. Il can
tell you one thing" he remarked, with a
certain spirit Of determination, and that
is that from this time on don't go TO no
more pictur galleries, nor towers nor or
phan asylums, nor views, except Wnen
dam please. Lemme see-nere's Westmlh-
ster Abbey, where the young princes was
put to dedth-hold on, it's the Tower OF
London l was thinking of-and If they d
left 'em there long enough they nave
died of pneumonia or Group or SUNNI Ike
that, for of all mouldy, damp God-torsak-
en- places that ever ! see, that Tower
the worst. Well, they walked US up early
the other morning TO go to that tower
and of we started through drizziin rain
the hull crowd on us hllln' up two or three
omnibuses. The professor had us all in
'The professor Who's thatg' asked
why, they've got regular lecturer
hired to travel with us, same as they have
IN the dime museums, an he's hummer,
] can tell you. That feller can cover more
pictuT galleries an Monuments an statoos
an he'll knows what not, than any one
ever / see. If he was set up on pneumatic
tires he wouldn't be able to get about
much spryer'n he does-an mind you, he
talks just as fast as he runs; gives lee
tur on every old armor or graVestun or
statoo, ans then jumps on to the next,
quicker'n scat. There amt no doubt that
what he's just what my wife says he Is
a highly eddicated cdss-an mebbe It's a
good thing for us all TO hev him a-leadin'
us round like so many tame bears; but
them The old man paused and thought
fully puffed his cigar for moment or
'Perhaps you think ne knows too much?'
/ remarked, tentatively.
mot exactly that" he rejoned, slowly;
"but / wish he'd shut his Internal old po-
tato trap onct in a while and give folks
a chance TO get rested a mite. ] swear /
hate to think of listening to his eternal
CAB all summer long, but / s'pose I'll have
to put up with it. And, 10 tell the truth,
i don't believe any Of our folks knows
where they are more'n half the time. |
know / don't, for get so ratified a runnin'
from the Tower O. London TO Westminster
Abbey, and then to some cussed cathedral
or nuther, an the professor talkin' away
Oh the time, that l swan ia be glad
enough to stop sightseein' an sit quite a
spell. I'm half a mind to just stay right
here an Jet the rest OF EN- go wherever
they please. If ! can only get off by my
self in this town I'll hnd enough to keep
me goin all summer"
Where do you go after you leave hereY'
] asked.
'The Lord only knows" replied my
weary countryman, as he opened his eye
tinnery" again and ran his eyes slowly
over its pages. Il know we go to Holland.
] want to see what the canals are like l
lived for pretty nearly twenty years on
the Delaware an Hudson, an I'd just like
to see whether those Dutchmen come any
where near us in buildin' an workin' EN-.
Antwerp in Holland amt 1t? An Brus-
sells IS in Belgium. But, any way. were
goin 10 be in Holland for day or so. This
book says were gotter git up early on
Tuesday morning an trapse off TO a tower
where there's chime Of bells an then
take a look at an old we'll the wrought
iron canopy ben' the work of-of-sOme
Teller / never heard Of Well, they can
count me out when the bus starts for that
well an cathedral an what's more, I'm
not goin' to lunch in the railway station
at / an then proceed in carriages to the
various places Of interest In which is the
Museum Of Antiquities, containing many
relies of the Spanish inquisition No. sir
rec; ! get all the Spanish inqusition /
want a-listenin to that professors eternal
chin not to mention what l have to put
up with at home"
/ lit a cigar, and my friend paved the
leaves of his long, fiat pamphlet Then
ne went on What the devil do they make
US go to place where there isn't single
name that anybody can pronounce? What
earthly good does it do TO 90 TO places that
you can't talk about when you git back
home because you can't twist your tongue
around the words2 What do these folks
think that we come TO Europe for?'
well. what do you come for?' I asked.
IL come because | was bulldOzed into 1t
by my wife an daughters, an they was
driven to Il by hearin some neighbofs Of
ours that was here two years ago talk
about II mornin' an night without lettin'
up, till we found we'd have 10 60 our
selves or else get talked 10 death. That's
what's at the bottom OF all this Europe
business. It's one woman comm over an
then goin' back an maxim every other
woman on the block crazy with her talk
about what she's seen an done. ] know
one thing, an that Is, If I ever leave my
country again it'll be to go to some land
where you can git good horn of old rye
whisky when your throats parched, an
that's more'n you can do here"
And Just then the rest of the old mans
party, with the professor at the head, re-
turned from their evening of sightseeing,
and took to flight James L. Ford.
Baker County for Silver.
Jacksonville, Fla, June 9.-The demo-