The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-09
UNLIMITED STAGE THUNDER.
The Latest Device to Protect Unvary
TheatergOers From Fire.

From the New York Tribune
There must be somebody up in Albany
who is making a business of finding odd
and ingenious ways to annoy the theater
people. 1t cannot be said that he has real
" annoyed them much as yet, but he has
found several remarkable ways of trying
to do 1t. The New York theaters have al
ways been the objects Of loving legisla-
tive care, but there has never before been
a legislature that has worried so much and
done so little about them as the present
one. It Is unnecessary to recall now all
the farce-comedy measures that have
been introduced at this season, but space
may be taken for the remark that the
hight Of humor thus far has been reached
by the latest bill that has been proposed,
whereby, If II were to become a law, ali
theaters would be compelled to have all
their scenery made of sheet iron.
1t is probable that the honorable mem
Der who suggested this regulation does
not know enough about theater to know
thunder sheet II he should meet one 1t
may well be that he is not familiar enough
with sheet iron in any form to realize how
noisy it is. The scientific fact is that when
q sheet of iron is in the least agitated,
by accident or design, it makes a dreadful
racket. Theatrical people discovered this
ages ago, and the discovery led to the in
Vention OF the thunder sheet. The APP
pliance in question is a large piece OF thin
tron, hung up by one end, and having a
handle at the other end to wriggle it by
that can be heard all over the house. 1t
does not sound at ali like thunder. but it
sounds so loud that stage managers and
audiences have agreed to use 1t and to rec
ognize it when used as the arbitrary stage
symbol for thunder. 1t has accordingly
been so used and recognized for genera
lions, whenever a dramatic situation call
ed for Jove's artillery.
But now the member, from wherever he
lives, wants to make every piece of scene
~ in the theater a thunder sheet What
result 1t would be! The heroine 1ees
from the clutches of the villain. catches
for a moment, in her agitation, at the side
of doorway, and peal of thunder is
heard. The detective creeps stealthflv
around the corner of the old garden wall
and his presence is announced by a thun-
der-clap from the treacherous wall itself
Rosahnd sits YEARLY down upon the soft
grass green iron wire) and leans her list
less shoulders against the protecting giant
oak, and the oak gives out a grumble and
mutter like a mountain storm cloud
And If this sort of thing went on while
the curtain was up what would It be
when ii was down. The setting of scenery
would be one continual Gathering and
crashing and banging.
There are a few improvements that are
still needed in the city theaters. The
law should require that all the seats In
them should be made of brick The nro.
grammes and tickets should be printed or
asbestos. The cigarette that the villajr
smokes should be surrounded by wire
netting, and it should be lighted bv cleo.
tricity. 1t might be a good plan to have
At any rate, the legislature should not re-
lax its vigilance so long as the conduct
OF the theaters threatens the lives of tbs
people who go to them.