Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-11-27

| ride yard or TWO away ana then falI
down like gentleman without Involv-
ing others in the ruin, one knew abso-
iutely nothing of what would he the
next thing TO happen.
He never rode away and fell Off
quietly by himself like "a gentleman-
that is quite certain On the contrary,
he generally pursued you, as it were,
open mouthed, shrieking To you to get
out of the way, but giving you no OPP
| portunity To do SO, because wherever
you went he followed Immediately and
generally brought you 10 earth about
| ten yards away, either in the gutter or
on the pavement or against the stone
wall When this happened one suffered,
besides the physical pains inflicted by
the machine, the odium of the ride"
| who would, after helping TO extract one
from among the spokes and things, be-
gin TO explain TO what lengths OF idiocy
and treaChery those human beings went
| who, under the pretense Of teaching "a
| friend to riue took pleasure III putting
every possible obstacle in the way of
his learning, III order TO see him tumble
about and then laugh at him. 1t was
useless to urge that ones bleeding shiLs
and racking bones ought to prove that
what had happened had not been pur-
posely brought about. Podgeley thought
otherwise, and said ridiculous and un-
gentlemanly things. Podgeley is gen
tleman all right on terra firma. 1t IL
only when he is perchcd upon the sad
die of bicycle that all his refinement
and good feeling 90 by the board.
1t was soon after his ii shillings
worth of lessons at the palace that Podge-
ley came TO me and suggested that
should squire him in trial ride down
town. We live III the suburbs, and we
have High street of our own. There
is Il fried fish shop i'll it, and sometimes
it is very high" street indeed. 1t
was into this busy thoroughtare that
Podgeley desired to burst in the pride of
his newly acquired character of trained
,yclist.
Wait bit. Podgeley." said Are
you sure you can rider
'Of course l can, said he.
"Who taught you?' l asked
He said he had had four lessons at
the Crystal palace. inquired whether
his four teachers were getting better
What do you meang" said Podgeley.
What four teachers"
lone man didn't teach you all four
times, Podgeley, I'll bet" said l.
Podgeley declared that all men were
not such clumsy idiots as myself. The
same man had given him all four les
sons.
"When's his funeral?' asked.
Podgeley lit Il cigarette.
What about his widow" l pursued.
This conversation was doing my shins
lot OF good, and even my side and ny
head felt better too. Podgeiee asked me
not to try to be funny. taid is was no
effort at all Then he repeated his in
quIry whether would accompany him
down 1QYn.
Then | spoke out.
"Podgeley," said, "you will never
get to the town, but, even if you did,
it would be the last thing in the world
that | should do to accompany YOU.
Bring me "a suit Of steel arnor and I
will walk beside you. In ordinary
clothes l will not come near you. AS
for riding with you, thank you very
much, Podgeley. | will do it if you
have two men with red flags, one before
and one behind-not otherwise ="
why not?" he asked.
Because of the pavements, Podgeley,
and the lampposts, the perambulators,
Podgeley, and all that in them is, the
shop windows, the vans, the trans, the
Infatuated populace, the frightened
steeds, the policemen, lynch law and
your weeping relatives. / hate funerals
too. "
Come part of the way with me-"
pleaded Podgeley somewhat cowed now.
i shall never learn if l don't make d
start III puL nc streets "
Well, 1 agreed TO go part Of the way
with him on condition that if he got
into trouble l should ride on and
Podgeley was not TO claim acquaintanoa
with me, and to those terms he agre,Ai.
We started. Our road is not busy
one. There are trees and garden gates,
asphalt pavement and so on. 1t leads |
INTO High street at the bottom end. We |
live at the top. There was butchers
cart coming up, and we waited until |
hat had passed along. Then we mount
d.
Podgeley was all right for about 30 |
yards Then somebody with clothes
basket came out of the garden gate and |
walked down the pavement score of
PAGES III front of us The sight of that
person seemed for some reason to infuri-
ate Podgeley's machine. He appeared
% me to be quite harmless looking
but Podgeley's bicycle
hought otherwise, l suppose, for it
vent straight for the poor doomed fell
ow like an arrow from the bow.
Podgeley couldn't hold it. / shouted
o him TO lean over to the right and
teer away from the pavement, but |
night have saved my breath Off went
he bicycle straight for its quarry. Over
he curbstone it leaped, full of fire and
ury, and down the asphalt pavement it