Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1896-04-02

"a.
leaden coffin contains inside polished
oaken casket; and the said coffin was
securely packed in deal packing case.
marked This side upper steamer
Umbria OBJ. / further certify that
: the said Samuel Burns died from no
infectious disease, and that said case
| so marked contains nothing but said
remains enclosed as above stated.
This certificate Is granted to serve at
! the custom house at New York, In the
/ United States OF America.
"In testimony whereof ! have here
unto set my hand and the consular
seal this --- day OF ----, in the year
OF our Lord 18-."
you see" | said to the widow, u
certify here that | have actually seen
the coffin soldered down, but as 1t was
done before, hardly think It neces-
sary to have 1t broken OPEN and am
sure II il all right. You will now have
no trouble in getting your precious
package unopened through the custom
house at New York
ct would be an awful ting If dey
was to make me trouble dere," she
murmurcd plaintvely oh my dear,
dear Samuel
| consoed her AS well as ! could,
and encouraged her to talk about
Samuel He was the tenderest, the
best of husbands, ! learned. He had
never given her cross word, and had
sacrificed everything to her wishes,
Gle was not wat you call 'andsome
man but he had his good points" she
confidcd. And she got brighter as
she recountcd his virtues. At last the
widow left me, profuse OF thanks.
The consulate seemed dreary after
she left
thought of her at times and made
no doubt the bones of Samuel Burns
were duly mixing with Mother Earth
somewhere In the states.
Nearly year passed had not for
gotten the widow precisely, but 1t
needed special effort to bring back
all the circumstances. One day ! dis
covered that the caretaker Of the CON
sulate was also night porter Mt one OF
: the hospitals lie called himself
night porter, that u.s. but found by
judiclous questioning that he was In
reality n purveyor of bodies to the
dissectng room ut the institution in
question.
IL get 'om from the work'us and
every where's" he told me when con
hdential footing had been established,
but | seldom gets as good 'un, for in
stance as you would make"
This was his pleasant joke. Such
Jokes all men must be prepared to re-
ceivc who make friends with those
who tread strange paths In life.
"rwo pounds IL what gets for most
on 'em II they bcaint too starved.
Them doctors don't like what they call
enamic subjects, but they has to take
om. Why? Because the men what 4
had their grub regular In life beain'l
to be had when thny's dead, that's
why"
| prohcd the purVcyOr of the dead
one night as to whether he had any
experiences of nature so peculiar
and striking as to stick In his mem
DRY.
AYE, plenty on en-" he answered
What would zee think now of rich
lady what would sell me the corpse OF
her husband?"
"Impossblc! | said
AYE. do &c think soP What will
'ee think, then, Of rich lady what
would give me her husband to save
/ the trouble o. buryinp him.
"lmpossblc"
May, twas done
Not
AYE. She was one o them for.
cigncrs, and thought she was one u
them French women but her namt
was Burns"
Perhaps, reader, YOU don't think
was listening hard now.
"Rurus?" said l. Was chat hci
name?"
AYE, and smart woman she were
too She told me to come to hen
house, and | went, and she says "Erc'S
( my husband. do 'cc know. and he ain I
never been no good to me, and YOU
shall ave nm, and ave I'M | did, and
two pounds for un | got and no mis-.
take | Thought to get more, but h,
was no better fed than the rest, Nnd
the funny thing he were drcst IN the
work us clothes
NO" | said
Aye ne were"
Qucrird further Dates all agreed
II must have been my Mrs Burns
was sure of it. Who. then. was IN
the coffin What crime had beer
conniying at?
started the nCNt day ON a quic, de
tertive search | went to all the diff
terent unions in the vicinity. and cN
amtncd the list OF deaths Finally
found the record | sought:
samuel burns, died age,
tortN-ouC years.
ntcrroiatcd the MASTER of tn,
workhousc There was Il funny STORY