Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1896-10-15
All in knowing How.

With the coming OF the frosts, there
arose a necessity for setting up the sitting
room stove, which, contrary 10 Mr.. Jones
advice-and, indeed, without his knowl-
edge-had been moved out into the shed
to repose during the summer months.
As his attention was not called to II, he,
OF course, never missed II until Mrs. Jones
carelessly remarked that they must be
having that stove moved back in again.
Then he caught another glimpse OF the
depths OF feminine duplicity, and made
some remarks on corrupt legislation in
connection with woman's suffrage that
would have moved sensitive suffragist
TO tears.
But Mrs. Jones never wept when she
had been having her own way. She re-
served her tears for more fitting occasions.
So now, ignoring the challenge, she VEN
tured to suggest mildly that the man who
took the stove down should be hired to
put it up; but she was met sharply with
the confident assertion that none other
than Mr.. Jones himself would attend TO
the final settlement OF that stove.
1t was all in knowing how, he said, and
he felt perfectly competent to move 1t
without the aid of a sedlitz powder or a
Il 80 man to do a 50-cent Job. All he
wanted was sufficient scope for his gen.
ius and no advice. He seemed, too, anx-
ious that his wife should not be worried
ly that she keep herself in another part OF
the house until he was all through.
The field cleared for action, he COM
menced operations by tearing three
cornered piece out OF the sleeve of his sec
ondb best coat, by catching iton some OF
the nickle tiligree work. Then he re-
mem bered to take off his coat and straight
way embraced the stove in pair OF white
shirtsleeves. The result was apparent at
once.
With mighty effort and a broken I'm
gernail, the heating apparatus was hoisted
on to plank and showed as far as the
kitchen door. Then he paused and wiped
the perspiration from his noble brow on
the aforementioned shirtsleeves.
The stove was about perfect tit for the
door and in trying to push the former
through the narrow opening, he raked
one hand to the wrist; when an unpre-
meditated movement on his part threw
the stove violently to the other side, caus-
ing injury to the woodwork and the third
commandment.
The base burner then got up on its hind
legs, lurched heavily forward and gave
Mr. Jones neat little clip under the chin.
A bitten tongue that prevented distinct
articulation preserved his somew hat dam
aged credit as a Sunday school teacher;
but it is feared that, like the French
man, he thought damn all the same.
The next move was inaugurated by the
plank, which tipped up unexpectedly and
brought down with crushing force what
seemed like a ton of cast iron on Mr..
Jones' ingrowing toe-nall.
The shrek that followed, reached even
Mrs. Jones in her seclusion and caused
her to hasten to the kitchen, where she
beheld her dignified spouse executing
pirouette on his sound foot that would
have done credit to.a ballet dancer.
He didn't answer when she asked him II
the stove was broken, and it was some
hours after a hardware dealer had put the
pieces of the wreck together and trans
ported the whole to its proper place be-