davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
CHAPTER XIX.

MR.. DoDD APPEARS AGAIN.
eft shall be legal DOCUMENT the
prospector said solemnly. ''Wife, keep
your eye open on errors, for I amt
much of a hand at literatoor. Susan,
prepare to write"
The meek-eyed girl peekly took her
place at the table pen in hand:
Jack dictated:
81 Susan Green, spinster. being Of sound
mind, do hereby affirm before all conditions
Of men, regardless Of SCI or color"
Here Mile interfered to ask how
many sexes a man could be, but was
promptly reproved and told that no
woman ever could understand law
terms.
s.7Nat Iaecs hired 6y one Dodd yore-
said"
"Dear Jack, you never said one word
about Dodd before"
ITO lay out and do up one jack Witders
by putting up q plcnt to rob hsna Of his
child"
Lay out and do up are not law
terms, are they, Jack?"
''If you don't hold your tongue, Mil
lie, we shall never get there Go on,
Susan"
''Aad Ireceired-"
GLOW much did you receiver"
Twenty dollars" Susan sobbed.
''Great Scott! Twenty dollars only!
To think that a boy like my Willie
didn't fetch the price Of Newfound-
land pap. Go on"
.'IHs sum Of t,centy dollars sterhng-"
"'Stcrling' is wrong, know"
pleaded Mile, lit is only applied to
silver"
Her husband dared not debate this
shaky question, so he simply ignored
It,
"To do 50. ,caica I accordingly and fe-
bniossly did"
did what, Jack?"
Jack glowcred.
''uov often must tell you that there
never was q woman critter born, as
could get within mile of legal
document"
by enticing him from afemak person
oae lima NigGs, and handing him Deer to
a tiuaaarang, douJA:taeed sneak, one"
Jack! Jack! All those bad words
cannot be right
'.4irchi5ald Do9d. Al mhich is the
run, Tie dcjl0le truth, ana nOthinJ OUT TIE
truth, so hep me God. Anaen. Susan
Grcea.''
When the prospector had got his
legal document" signed and delivered,
he turned upon the dismayed Susan,
and, pointing to the door. roared in q
voice OF thunder but one word:
Git
Now" he cried, ''tor Mr.. Dodd.
Get me my coat, Mile, while put
Dandy in the cutter"
stop, Jack, you need not go on that
erraad. Here's cutting from news
paper my sister sent me this morning.
/ did not show it to you before because
you are SO very excitable. Now listen"
ID sad end.-Our readers will remeIa-
Der the case of Archibald Dodd, who
suffered SO severely whilst driving to
our city from Oretown some weeks ago.
He died last night, raving maniac, in
the county poorhouse."
And there's no forty-below zero tenn
peraturc when he's gone," Jack sneered.
Don't jest, Jack. Lame, blind,
nad!" Mile shuddered. What on
end!'
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
PARAGRAPHIC POINTERS.

Mckinley is still bowling at the
favorite sons. AS one of the original
pets in this class he thinks that every
other state should adopt him.-Detroi;
Free Press.
Mckinley is living example of a
man who undertook to make people
rich by taxing them, and fell victim to
his own foolish theories. - Utica OBJ
server.
Even the tom cat on Mr.. Reeds
campaign button is smiling at the at.
tempt of the Pennsylvania favorite son
to get his boom off the ways.-Chicago
Times-Herald.
This thing of southern republic.
ans declaring for Mckinley before Gov
Morton has fairly begun to sign checks
is unseemly and unbusinesslike.-Loui
vile Courier-Jo urnal.
--Mckinley's platform straddles
everything but the tariff. and on tina,
question he is fatfooted for plumber oi
the people for the protection of monop.
oly.-Wheeling Register.
1t may be that the democratic
party is not yet through with trouble
over the silver question. but the repub-
ican party's troubles on that score
have hardly begun.-Albany Argus.
The first duty of congress is 20
provide sufficient revenue for the neces-
sites of the government. Instead oi
doing it's duty congress is doing all it
can to enlarge the deficit.-N. Y. World.
Mckinley has evidently been too
busy to study Sherman's memoirs with
profit 1t is possible, however, that he
was not permitted to select the man
who would place him in norcination.-
St. Louis Republic.
The republican party is queer
trinity just at present. One part wants
free silver and free trade; another pro-
lection and free silver, and a third sound
money and protection. A rather re-
fractory three-horse hitch. = Boston
Herald Cnd.).
The Mckinley platform is already
doing its deadly work. The New York
Tribune swears roundly that it means
the gold standard, while Editor God
kn's British organ rips out an oath
tina. !. sseans the silver standard. So
there you are!-Atianta Constitution
The rumors in regard to the
treaty of peace between Mckinley and
Foraker ut the Ohio state convention
are highly interesting. Whatever the
agreement was, relating to the support
of Mckinley for president and the d.
vision of the spoils il he should be elect
ed. it was reduced, so the quid nuncs'
say, to writing and signed by both.
ssAnd Foraker dictated every word that
It contained" added delegaoc who was
represented to be in the secret-Cni-
cage Chronicle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26

good as his maste--she was beneath
him-that's ALL"
I'm rank?"
Exactly. Now. very soon after the
marriage they separated He went
into the army. She stayed with me.
Then the baby was born and she died,
and young Hillborough married again.
and went with his wife to India"
Leaving Elsie?'
''Pshaw! He knew nothing about
her-didn't know of her existence"
"Well?"
"Well, the whole story was sprung
on the old gent"
by whom?"
''By me, if you must know; but 1
shall never get through my story, if
you ask SO many questions"
''Well, go on"
Sand it was agreed that the child
should be suppressed"
Suppressed"
Yes, shipped abroad under another
name"
''And that child is"
s'Your wife as sure as shootin'!"
Sand her father went to India and
raised second family"
He didn't. He an his wife were
killed by cholera, an now the old gents
got streak of remorse-never could
afford . conscience myself-an's just
as anxious to get his granddaughter
back as he once was to get rid Of her"
"Surely. you could have found her
] before this?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
PlTH AND PolNr.

Genuine. Witherby - II under
stand that you had birthday party q
your house the other night. Who was
there Plankington - Two doctors
and o nurse. Truth.
Observation-Disclosures Mary,
how was it saw you treating your
friends to my cake and fruit?" Mary
81 can't tell. ma'am, for the life Of me,
for I'm sure covered the keyholei
Td-Bits.
$50 poor Wigstaff is dead. Well, he
was his own worst enemy" Yes,
that's so. When you consider the kind
OF cigars he used to treat himself to You
can have no doubt about it."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
What's that long piece of writing.
papa? Is it poetry" Chastity re-
placing it in his empty pocketbook)-
ayes. dear: it is an owed to your moth
er's milliner. Chicago Tribune.
He stood up at the top Of the
steps," she said, in telling about it att
erwards, '.and mustered up enough
courage to say: You know this is leap
year? yes. What then z" Then
he leaped and haven't seen him since"
Chicago Post.
The Horrors Of War in Cuba
General" said the officer who had con-
Quoted the reconnaissance. ssif we enter
the town, many brave men will fall"
Show so? Have not the enemy evacu-
ated the place." ssYes, general; but
they have covered the streets with ba-
mana peels."-Puck.
One View of the Occurrence
'.Patsy," said Mr.. Dolan to his son.
"kape tn example av George Wash'n't'n
in yer moind's oye." ''Oi viii, father"
'sThere was the by that wouldn't loie
about it whin he cut down the churry-
three" "Was there any great merit in
thot, father?" "What do yez name by
akin such q question: solve seen
the picther ov that tonne whin he didn't
tell loie. His father had KEN on i'm
shtandin' beside the three, with tn
Ratchet in lis hand. Begorrah, how
could he?"-Washington Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
A Crying Unfalrness.

A millionaire was contemplating q
row of wretched people waiting for
scraps outside a city restauran. when
he was accosted by an affable stranger.
fittings isn't evened up very well in
this world, sir"
'sThey are not" grunted the million
aire.
Easy for one clarse and difficult for
another, if I may venture a umble
opinion:'' went on the stranger.
ST agree with you there" muttered
the millionaire. irritably, as he watched
a thin, ill-clcd woman receiving stale
portion OF apple tart with the tail of a
bloater in it. Look at me, must pay
for everything-lterally everything
in hard-earned money; and here are
those people, even the poorest among
them-their food a gift; street foun-
tains provided to supply them with
drink, and all sorts of shelters, park
seats and archways for their sleeping
places It is 'confoundedly unfair
Good Company.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
CHAPTER Xxx.
AN INTERESTING UNCLE,


One bright summers day, Mrs Frank
Grey ran down the walk to the garden
gate of her pretty new house to meet
her husband. on his return from his Of
fee.
It was not long after a gay little
wedding, which had turned Elsie Whit
ford into Elsie Grey, and made two
young people suprcmely happy.
Frank, darlingr' was the young
wifc's glad greeting; what do you
think have found to-day?'
Another lost baby?"
mo, indeed; but real ive-very
much alive-uncle, Frank"
''You are ioking?"
81 never was more serious He came
oil the way from England on purpose
to see me, and don't like him one lit
tie bit. Frank, do absolutely believe
the horrid man was going to kiss mel"
shows he has good taste, at any rate.
Is he the corporal's brother?"
.sWhy, don't you know the Whitfords
are not my real father and mother,
Frank?"
Frank stared in amazement>
"And you were not Elsie Whitford?"
..No. nysclf at ell, You stupid dear.
but it appears my mother died in my
infancy and was left to the care of
Uncle Jacob Gregson, the gentleman
who called here to-day, who put me in
charge of Mrs Whitford, paying her
large sums for my support"
.sWhere is your uncle?"
..At the Tiff house. I promised that
YOU would go up to tho hotel this even
ing and call on him."
$50 I will"
Don't be prejudiced. Frank. but !
fear he Is net bit nice"
s'Rou2h, eh?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
VIEWS ON CATS.

Leaves from Little Tomny's Composition
Book.
This is an old subject which is liked
Oy girls, but not by boys.
The proper name for cats is, I believe,
felines. / don't know what they call
them felines for, but they do, just the
same.
You can find cats all over the world,
with the exception of our back yard.
Some cats live on milk, fish, meat,
mice and that kind of stuff, but all cats
that I've ever seen seem to live on the
back fences.
I have heard of cats of nine tails and
cats of nine lives, but I've never met any
of 'em. All the cats that 1 ever had
anything to do with had only one tail
and one life, and mighty short life at
that.
They say it's good luck to have a cat
follow you. l suppose they mean it's
good luck for the cat; for ninety-nine
times out of one hundred when "a cat
follows you you remember about it's
being dnlucky to have a cat follow you;
ard you pick the cat up when no one is
looking. take it to your house and give
it good home.
I know of cat that was fooled
once. The gump followed me, and 1
never had any LUCK afterward. Neither
did the cat. H4 went where all good
cats go-over in the vacant lot.
Some people stuff their cats after
they die. We tried to keep a cat more
times than have marbles. But they all
died. The majority of them were stuffed
in the ash barrel. Nobody seemed to
know what made the cats die but Skin
ny Singles, Brick Taylor and I.
Cats like to rub up against a fellow.
but never saw a cat that wanted to rub
up against me more than once.
/ would rather be a dog than cat.
Dogs don't like cats.
don't believe in sicking dogs on cats.
I believe it's cruelty to animals to sick
a dog on a cat. The best way to do is
to hit the cat with a club. Cats like to
yell all night. To see your little cat
in the house before the fire and to hear
him yell at night you would never be-
iisye it to be the same cat, and you can't
find anybody that can make you be-
Keve it, either. It's always. the other
fellows cat that makes the noise.-San
francisco Wave.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
A MEXICAN CATHEDRAL.
It Is Lined with Mnlions Worth Of Pre-
cious Metals.

It Is Lined with Mnlions Worth Of Pre-
cious Metals.
During a journey from Panama, west
and north, overland through the Span
ish Main to Paso del Norte, Mexico,
opposite Ell Paso, Tex, I was bound to
see not a little of the churches and the
priests, and to hear no end of stories Of
the doings in connection with them,
but of all that I saw and heard nothing
seemed quite so impressive as my frat
glance into the great cathedral at Pueb-
10, Mexico. People throughout the
journey had told me often that of all
churches of the region this was tho
most magnificent, invariably explain
ing their admiration by saying that
here was a church so rich that in spite
of losses of millions of dollars worth
of gold and silver taken from it by the
Mexican rulers, there remained no less
than $11,0O0,00O worth of precious
metals within the walls, besides other
articles of value. That about every
English-speaking man met in tho
Spanish Main should have gagged the
interest in the church by the amount OF
precious metal within its wall was in IT.
self matter worth considering, and so,
although not especially interested In
somebody else's hoarded wealth, went
to the cathedral first of all after reach
ing Pueblo. It was about ten o'clock
in the morning-an hour when was
likely to find few people there. Pass
ing through what seemed to be tho
most-used entrance, found 2 few feet
beyond the door small stand tlrapeda
with cloth that fell to the STOKE flag
ging. In the center of the stand waa
plate of solid gold, 6H inches in
diameter and an eighth of an inch
thick. On this gold plate, which was
placed there to receive contributions,
lay a copper cent of the coinage Of the
country.
Quite number of visitors came ana
went while was in the cathedral, and
considerable portion of them comment
ed in English on what they saw.
heard one nice-looling old lady say to
another nice old lady: IF Brother Tai
mage could see this-lnillions of gold
on the walls, and on the saints-isn't
it beautiful ?-but so pagan!" I saw
other strangers come in, and after one
comprehensive look around walk across
the tagging and kneel before an image,
with every appearance of sincere de-
votion. Others, the majority Of the
foreigners who entered, in fact, looked
about with idle curiosity for time and
then went out. but so far IA OBJ
served, no one except myself gave any
attention to the striking portrayal Of
the wealth of the recipient and the pow
erty of the donor which the gold plate
and the copper cent afforded. And that
seemed too bad, for if it be good, prac-
teal, sensible thing to pile up wealth
in church building, penny by penny.
then here was an example for all man
kind; while if there is anything that
ought to be criticised in such doings.
then here was the object lesson.-N. Y
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
Law. for Taxing q Billy Goat.

The newly appointed assessor in 4
Maine city was making up tax as
easement and taxed the billy goat of q
Woodworking citizen. sure, said the
latter. "where do you get the authority
for that?" Much talk ensued. and
finally the assessor got the book ct
ws and read that all property bound
35yr and AUDITING on both sides of the
street should be taxed so and SO, land.
sure." said the assessor. "many's the
time I've seen that same billy goat Q
YOURS a boundin' and a buttin' on both
sides o. the street. (Me.)
journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
To Boil q Leg Of Lamb.

Put the leg of lamb in as much water
as will just cover it and no more, let it
come to a boil and allow it to boil few
minutes, then add a teacupful OF cold
water, remove the scum carefully as 1t
rises. and simmer the lamb very gently
until done. Throw teaspoonful OF
salt into the water when about half
cooked; place the joint on a hot dish
and garnish with small boiled carrots,
pour a little caper sauce over the leg
and send some to the table IN a tureen.
Allow for boiling a quarter of an hour
to a pound of meat. and a quarter over
flood housekeeping.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
The Genesis Of : Name.

The drummer looked ont OF the win>
dow of the little tavern at the farm
wagons slowly edging along almost
hub-deep in mud and asked:
"How In thunder did they ever come
to name this waterlogged village High
land?'"
never heard definite" the landlord
replied, absentiy putting his toothpick
back in the box, ..but gucss II co1ne
from the price the time we had = booaA
On. Cincinnati Enouirer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
PREPARING FOR A sTRADDLE,


-, ~. ,Y...
!" ieH Wv. = oieAns St,0Ae ~ eAs 0..-s'
republican convention on taxing the
chair 1t was noticeable that he said
notb;rr obo,,f Moi McK;nlevss views
,'.'- -.
as to silver. TN the contrary, ne SAID
everybody knew that the supreme issue
!. ,vbothe- All. .,,,,rt,v 10 r., H.. ruleea
s1s ~, =
py democracy OF fepuDiIcdnisH. us
is no issue at all until it is determined
what democracv and repnblicanism
- -
- 80 - .a...s-..,.,:....h "a
- a;r.-.na.. - ,.,;.;,. 49,. :. 40,
-...-..s-s - -. =. -.
Is, Ps' :. As -.
.ne MS Up. eaAs ,..,,S
,;sas - ~ 49, 80 ~. L. 49,.
H.. -, - or "a 49, :: -
~ NaK;r1.v ne.a A11;.o,, Wo-t,,, .r,,
- =. - - - - -.
,,,-s....~ -
An AZ. 1870 a,....,.,.. :.
straddl. 49, o.t ;,,rortant teen.
- ~. DO. Th;. .,,..,,,;.a :. =, ~. -,
horna 80 ~ tha ,,o.au ,,,.rL l.. - .. +he
nlatforno r. reads as foi,os-..
..va .on...a ,or hons.. rnon.v. So :.
currency of gold. silver and paper with
which to measure our exchange that
snd a 1av h as ..s mHno .n au dsn,ana
the use of both gold and silver as standard
IN es sith me IN accotuae VIII. ..o 80 -
that can be Obtained. or under such re-
strictions and such provisions to be de.
.ermined by legislation as wiz secure tn.
the two metals. so that the PURCHASING and
debt-paying power of the dollar shall be at
all times equal
This plank is said to have been writ.
ten by Mckinley himself. 1t contains
some OF the language OF the minneapolis
piat1orm OF 1897 anu something that
was not III tnat platIorm. Ils rendered
more 1ncoherent and evaslve by the
matter added. The rhetorical flourish
that the money of gold, silver and paper
shall be as sound as the government
ana as untarn1sheo as It's honor Is not
very Impressive when we recoliect what
oad money republicans nave thrust
upon us IN tunes past, ana reject tna5
they might get into power again. II
the resolution is properly transmitted
1t declares Tor "a currency OF gold, Sill
yer ana paper with winch TO measure
our eAcnange' wn'cn Is no' na'eriany
80 ns I'm, INA ai,an' uonsense' ou' -
einineneiy Nncninieye s4ue'
Inc resolution adopted at Mlnneapo-
lis in 1892 was written in part by Jones,
OF Nevada, and contains the juggling
word olmetaiilsm' TO which siiyerltes
give o meaning altogether dlnereno
from that which was given 1t by It's
inventors and by sound-money men
generally. Still, 1T might have answered
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26

It'll be hanged If could, for the lit
tie mink has kept herself as close as
weasel The Whitfords played it On
me, too. an never got her address till
two days ago.
"How can we prove Elsie's IDENTIFY"
asked Grey cautiously.
I've got them fixed to perfection;
testimony, birthmarks, everything
you leave that part Of the business 20
me-"
''And have You any proofs to give me
of the truthfulness of your story?'
lord, what lad you are for proofsi
One would think you were drynursed
by lawyer. Well, dollars talk, don't
they; loud and clear; and there's no mis-
understandin' them. See: I'll go
straight to England, an before three
weeks have passed-if I ever get alive
across that cussed sea-Sir Gordon
shall cable you expenses to bring your
wife to England"
Late as it was, when Frank reached
home, a council of war was called, for
as luck would have it, Mr.. and Mrs.
Woodgrove had stepped across the
street to spend the evening with the
young wife, and they sat enthralled,
while he related the romantic story of
Elsie's birth and parentage.
And when he had done, their tongues
did wag!
I'm not a bit surprised" asserted
Mrs. Woodgrove. 81 always looked on
Elsie as disguised princess
Turns out to be a swan when we
all thought her a barnyard duckling,"
Frank laughed.
''Cone here, you serene highness,"
the old gentleman demanded, land
graciously give me kiss. Perhaps
when you are ruling in your ancestral
mansion, surrounded by your gorgeous
hunkies, you may be above gratifying
the whirns of an old lumber merchant"
wherever l am, whatever I am"
Elsie cried, her arm wound lovingly
round his neck, 81 shall never forget all
I owe to you and" she paused to grasp
his wife's hand-''my dear, dear
nOther!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-03-26
A lugubrious wall comes up froI

a lugubrious wall comes up from
Illinois. Senator Cullom says large
amount of money has been spent in ILL
nois to carry the delegates of that state
for Mckinley. If Senator Cuiiom have
nothing to say more to the purpose he
had better remain silent. The payment
of money for the purpose Of nominating
and electirg republican candidates for
the presidency is an established custom.
Money has even been used to put . re-
publican president in the white house
who was not elected. Money is the root
Of republicaaism.-Ph ilade.p hix Times.