The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1896-05-02

a splendid brOoea IN 5. = show window.
INST Ike thing
''Aud I a rocking chair a. F. =. such n
f I always Ionged 10 possess. added.
III IS bargain Roekiug chair against
brooch. T your -do-You=eall-sI-
machine daes its dutH. gou viii get your
hrOoeb e not, rou arr bound to auy me
Inc allasr sta - en- Fl"
"AIl right. my VIE acquieseed in 4
triumphant tone.
She really purchased the exfractian
machine, which. 10 iHHge from appear
snees was q pretty aeat ard brightly
polished little affair The birthday ar
rived and Re soienuiH assembled in her
fathers hause and handed him tbe
present. but he looked rather sur
nrised
"Nell, well,'' he exclaimed. "i,gst
l8olt at this 4 BlteTing machine. Did
5sssi sssei-ti I must confess ike tfte
iaea, COR aur CRY water is not very
clear and the supply IS ponr. It may
come m handy
what are You talking about. ny
dear father" interrupted anna excif
eddy. and N an almost angry tome
you DO not really mean 10 say thai
ron think our love is 80 trifiug as 70
buy 8af iiitering apparatus for a
birthday present2"
The old man looked from one % the
other 81 If embarrassed.
God forbid he said. feeiinuig @fhaf
I should think ~ III Of my dear chill.
fren- but, perhaps yes, I know. thar
It; one Of she newly invented patent
electric night lamps, eh@
1riHned Anna looked dapgers at
me-
1T Il the new coffee machine father.
dear said my wife's sister Fan
ME, whose head Is always fall Of mis-
chief You throw the beans in on one
side and 'eafe an lait' already made
flows ont on The other Plain as day
light
Fannie. my child. said I. With 81
the dignity T could muster. please 20
and bring some hot water and the nee.
essarY ground coffee, and give us
chance to demonstrate to father the
utility Of this wonderful machine
Fannie did So. ia me meantime tine
cd man wallsed several times around
Inc table shaking his siiyerY locks aud
cast - slliizz3 gss5tlH aiaaees az ti.e ee1ie
piicated thing before him He ioolScf
positively frightened
SAY, Otto, turning to ne with IN
anxious face, Il nope thar thing wiz
not explodea We read everY day dreaa-
I'll stories about these new-fangied
patents in the papers Please be care
fri. children. 7 beg Of you
aWhy, father, the whole proceeding
E so siInpie.p nv ,pife pleaded defend
ing her present, Jus read Whit e says
herel take the water. taking The ves5
sci with the hot water from Fannie
and pour IT into the boiler HE this.
see. just SO. Aw.r she suddenly cried
ont. She had sealded her fingers.
II was my turn now. Please step
aside, said going up to the table, ''let
me try. YoH viii iniure yourself worse
with Yonr experimenting. Hand me
tine water. Fannie. limits it. thank you,
dear. And now I'll light the lamp.
Zonnds. the stuff wont burnt"
1T is prepared pon-inaamniaSie aleo-
hol for medicinal purposes, SAID father.
"Well, then, send for some that will
burn" { cried out Of patience, after I
had wasted dozen or so matches in the
vain attempt to ignite the lamp.
II know what I am going to do. I
am going 10 sacrifice my bottle Of eau
se cologne" Fannie exclaimed mag
unanimously, ''what is the difference"
She ran off and pretty soon returned
with the odosous duid, emptying II into
the lamp after ! had poured out the
'medieatcd" alcohol.
The cologne burned all right, and
pretty soon a low, melodious singing
could be heard showing that the ma
Chine was beginning 70 do its work,
NV wifc's countenance was all aglow.
Vow she was happy, only father looked
stiu anEious-iilSc aud worried.
"ChIIdren, better not 60 near IT, he
sdnaoaished, only yesterday three lit
lie gfris were terribly seaidcd, you
J; f1tiyy.
Pretty soon The steam seethed inside
the machine, the cover fen upon the
laIsap and the Fame was eytinguished.
looked sideways at my wife with
grin.
according TO the receipt" said
malioiously "the eoiee ought 10 BE-
done now. buf I fail 10 smell the usual
aroma Doyou?"
just thcn tie water in The boiler be-
y1r zetitiiiaF and fitils}siliiisg. stronger,
and a stream Of water shot ont ~ the
latter Info the glass tube and thence
into the bowl ON top.
NV, how nice" exclaimed MY little
eieht s earoid brother<n.law Fred,
eleefuilq. "For all the world like
vat.rfaiEr
Ny wife was Disguised. She turned
pale from subducd excitement and an
ger What can this mean, she said,
something must be wrong"
II think your sclf-actof extraction
machine Is suffering from informal
troubles. There is ltogctA,rtoo much
Interior busfucss, veutarvd rs re-
mark. dryly. 81 dare say, You are be-
ginning 90 mailesap yeur mind where
the best rockng-chairs are for sale, Ell,
dear2"
My wife looked as If she were consid-
crine whether IL would be the better
policy 10 fall in a fainting Il INTO my
arms or 60 declare herself vanqushed
and pay the bet. while her father con-
l-nnnL sha linz hls henlI nnfll IL. sd