Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-07-03
HIS Welded WIFE.

HIS Welded WIFE.
Shakespeare says something about
worms-or it may be giants or beetles
turning If you tread on them too severely.
The safest plan is never to tread on worm
not even on the last new subaltern from
home, with his buttons hardly out of their
tissue paper and The red of sappy English
beef in his cheeks. This is the story of
the worm that turned. For the sake Of
brevity we will call Henry Augustus
Ramsay Faizanne "The Worm" although
he really was an exceedingly pretty boy,
without hair on his face and with
waist like girls when he came out to the
second "Shikarris" and was made unhap-
by in several ways. The Shikarris are
high caste regiment, and you must be able
to do things well-play banjo or ride
more than little or sing or act-to get on
with them.
The Worm did nothing except fall off his
pony and knock chips out of gate posts
with his trap. Even that became monoto-
nous after time. He objected to whist,
cut the cloth at billiards, sung out of tune,
k0pU t0fy 1uuCu W HAluSoAL dAu WIOUo w
his mamma and sisters at homo. -Four of
these five things were vices which the
Shikarris objected to and set themselves to
eradicate. Every one knows how subalterns
are by brother subalterns softened and not
permitted to be ferocious. 1t is good and
wholesome and does no one any harm UNI
less tempers are lost, and then there Is
trouble. There was man once-but that
Is another story.
The Shikarris shikarred The Worm very
much, and he bore everything without
winking. He was SO good and SO anxious
to learn and flushed SO pink that his edu-
cation was out short and he was left to his
own devices by every one except the senior
subaltern, who continued to make life a
burden for The Worm. The senior subal-
tern meant no harm, but his chaff was
coarse, and he didn't quite understand
where to stop. He had been waiting too
long for his company, and that always
sours a man; also he was in love, which
made him worse.
One day after he had borrowed The
Worms trap for lady who had never ex.
listed, had used it himself all the after
noon, had sent note to The Worm pur-
porting to come from the lady and was
telling the mess all about it, The Worm
rose in his place and said in his quiet,
ladylike voice, "That was very pretty
sell, but I'll lay you months pay to
months pay when you get your step that
work sell on you that you'll remember
for the rest Of your days and the regiment
after you when you're dead or broke"
The Worm wasn't angry in the least, and
the rest of the mess shouted. Then the
senior subaltern looked at The Worm from
the boots upward and down again, and
said, "Done, baby" The Worm took the
rest of the mess to witness that the bet had
been taken and retired into book with o
sweet smile.
Two months passed, and the senior sub
altern still educated The Worm, who be-
gan to move about little more as the hot
weather came OH. have said that the
senior subaltern was In love. The curious
thing is that girl was in love with the
senior subaltern. Though the colonel said
awful things, and the majors snorted, and
married captains looked unutterable wis
dom, and the juniors scoffed those two
were engaged.
The senior subaltern was so pleased
with getting his company and his accept
ance at the same time that he forgot to
bother The Worm. The girl was pretty
girl and had money of her own. She does
not come into this story at all.
One night at the beginning Of the hot
weather all the mess except The Worm,
who had gone to his own room to write
home letters, were sitting on the platform
outside the messhouse. The band had
finished playing, but no one wanted to 60
in. And the captains wives were there
also. The folly of man In love is unlim-
tied. The senior subaltern had been hold
ing forth on the merits of the girl he was
engaged to, and the ladies were purring
approval, while the men yawned, when
there was rustic of skirts in the dark,
and tired, faint voice lifted itself:
where's my husbandf"
do not wish In the least to reflect on
the morality of the Shikarris, but 1t is on
record that four men jumped up as If they
had been shot. Three Of them were mar
ried men. Perhaps they were afraid that
their wives had come from home unbe-
known. The fourth said that he had acted
on the impulse OF the moment. He ex-
planned this afterward.
Then the voice cried, ooh, Lionel!"
Lionel was the senior subaltern's name.
A woman came into the little circle OF
light by the candles on the peg tables,
stretching out her hands to the dark where
the senior subaltern was and sobbing. We
rose to our feet, feeling that things were
going to happen and ready to believe the
worst. In this bad, small world Of ours
one knows so little Of the life Of the next
man-whioh, after ALL is entirely his own
oonoern-that one is not surprised when q
crash comes Anything might turn up
any day for any one. Perhaps the senior
subaltern had been trapped In his youth.
Men are crippled that way occasionally.
We didn't know. We wanted to hear,
and the captains wives were as anxious as
we. II he had been trapped, he was to be
excused, for the woman from nowhere, in
the dusty shoes and gray travelling dress,
was very lovely, with black hair and great
eyes full Of tears. She was tall, with
fine figure, and her voice had running
sob In it pitiful to hear. As soon as the
senior subaltern stood up she threw her
arms round his neck and called him "my
darling" and said she could not bear wait.
ing alone In England, and his letters were
60 short and cold, and she was his to the
end of the world, and would he forgive
herr This did not sound quite like lady's
way of speaking. It was too demonstra.
tive.
Things seemed black indeed. and tho