davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
One Thing Sure.
Chicago Post.

II see some skates are talking about a
six-year presidential term an sayin' it's a
good thing" said the fat man.
well, we wouldn't have so many cam
paigns in that case" returned the little
man. That's why favor it,.
do you favor it?'' asked the fat man,
scrowling at the little one
Certainly" rs af
"Well, don't know who you are but I'll
bet ten-dollar bill to a copper cent you're
not in the saloon business"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
Politely Put.
Texas Siftings.

There is one, hing said a bright woman
who has been visiting Washington, that I
must say in favor of the United States Sem
ators. They are real gentlemen
And what, in your estimation, goes prin-
cipally to make up real gentleman"
-Oh that question was settled long ago.
It's the art Of doing nothing gracefully"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
A Criticism.
washington Star.

washington Star.
What's that?" asked Derringer Dan, as
he paused ia establishment to listen to the
efforts of the parlor quartet.
That's something taken from Wagner
What do you think of %
We'll" was the carefully considered reply,
whatever it is, Wagner seems to be givin'
it UP mighty hard"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
I Know.

Know.
[To c. III. C)
o hadst thou never any one
OF whom thy heart could say:
This one / know is true to me
And will be true for aye
Say, know'st thou none that will be true
Forever and a day?
Then, chen indeed thy life is sad;
1 know not what could make it glad.
1 have friend. and he Is true
And kind and good to me;
1 know he's free from cursed deceit
AS any one can be;
That he is constant evermore
My baser friends agree;
For when my faults they would declare
Some one says: Whist! His friend! Be
ware!'
IS. w. Gillian.
ift,v TnI
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
Pun-Dits.
To Date.

10 Date.
PROFESSIONALLY does the duck put he
head under water?
Pupil-For divers reasons
Professor-Why does she go on land?
Pupil-For sundry reasons.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
He Was Right.
Leslie's Weekly.

Leslie's Weekly.
Teacher-Now, Patsy. would 1t be proper Il
say, You can't learn me nothing?'
Patsy-Yism.
Teacher-Why?
Patsy-Cause yer can't
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
A Way Out.

.NeW 1UrK weekly.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS the way II goes. II we
hunt foxes, folks say we're cruel If we hunt
aniseed bags, folks laugh at US. What can
we hunt, without exciting indignation or ridi-
Guile?
Small Boy-Rats!
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
Tested.
New York Weekly.

&NCW tCNIy.
Smart Wife-Don't worry. George I wrote
an article for the paper to-day, showing how
to get up a family dinner for 81, and took 1t
around and the editor gave me 81
Husband-That's rare piece of good luck
What are you going TO do with the dollar?
Pm going to try that recipe myself and
If it will work.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
Success.
Detroit Tribune.

DtIrOlL IT1Dune.
II am lost" he shrieked.
Far away she heard him and smiled.
"Ha, ha," she laughed to herself.
She had been trying for an hour to los
him.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
The Dear Creatures.
Wilmington Star

wilmington Star.
"Oh, yes, my husband has been a col
lectors OF curios and such things for num-
Der of years.
Was he IN that business when he married
your"
Yes, indeed"
81 thought So"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
Net Only.
New York Herald.

New York Herald.
Lawyer-What is your gross income?
Witness-I have no gross income
Lawyer-No income at all?
Witness-No gross income. I have a ne
Income. I'm In the fish business.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05

Boston Courier.

Boston Courier.
Kittie-Harry won't take no for an an
T.ilbena-Hew do you know?
kittie-Because shan't give 1t TO him.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
Two Papas.
New York weekly.

New York Weekly
Upper-Ten Child-My papa is abroad. Is
yours?
Iower-Ten Child-Yep. Mine is at large
ag'in.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05

Browning. King & Co.'s Monthly.
Customer1m half sorry 1 bought that
necxtie now. It's too loud
Salesman-Let me sell you a muff1er.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-05
I'm Society.


washington Capital.
Gushing Widow (to middle-aged GeneraD-
Do you know my daughter is quite in love
with you?
General Chighly flattered)-Ah, indeed
.Widow-Yes. she thinks you would make an
Ideal papa.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
Events Of the Coming Year.

The coming wear will be period
memorable in the history Of the
world, il but part Of the plans o.
the United States government and
European nations is carried out. In
the United States there will be the
liveliest presidential campaign ever
held, and the fifty fourth congress,
now in session. will furnish exceed
ingly interesting debates on the tar
if and financial questions until June.
There will be several exciting State
elections and many great political
speeches Every one will watch with
interest the progress Of the Nenezu.
elan commission inquiry, the re.
suit of the wars in Cuba. in South
Africa, in Turkey, and the outcome
Of other complications now arising
in the old world.
It is a remarkable coincidence
that at the beginning Of year such
rich promise of stirring news the
greatest metropolitan newpaper in
the United States-The st. Louis
Republic-should reduce it's price
to Sc a year, or to less than two
cents a day. This low price now
places The Republic within the reach
of everyone. Those who wish to
keep posted on politics, trade, ma
tional and international affairs during
1896 should at once subscribe for il
on these easy terms, IN addition te
taking their own local paper.
Newspaper readers who may
, think they cannot afford to take /
metropolitan daily paper should n
least subscribe for the Twice Il
week Republic-1o4 papers yea
r for only 81 year. 1t contain
;, the best Of everything that appear
c in the daily.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
Mr.. Bayard Notifies Mr.. Oiney

Washing, d. G., Feb. II -Ambas-
sador Bayard has briefly informed
Secretary O.ney by cable that the
British government has acceded to
the request of the Venezuelan COM
mission to supply all of the informa-
non IN its possession on the bound
ary line between Venezuela and
British Guiana. Touching the report
from London that Venezuela is
ABOUT to send representative to
London to negotiate directly for the
settlement Of the boundary ques
tion, nothing official could be learned
mere. The utterances in the Oueen's S
speech and in the debate in Parlia
ment and particularly in the Com
mons, upon the address from the
throne, have given great satisfaction
10 official circles here.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20

There are some people who never
wear dark glasses and yet they new.
er see anything bright: II : the peo.
pie who are dyspeptic and soured.
Everything is out Of joint with such
people. Il suffered many years
with dyspepsia and liver troubles
but have been relieved since taking
Simmons Liver Regulator. | know
Others who have been greatly hene-
ited BY it's use. james Nowland.
Carrolton. Mo.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
Free Pills.

Send your address to II. E. Buck
len & Co, Chicago, and get a free
sample box of DR.. Kings New Life
Pills. A trial will convince you OF
their merits. These pills are easy in
action and are particularly effective
in the cure of Constipation and Sick
Headache. For Marlaria Liver
troubles they have been proved ln-
valuable They are guaranteed to be
perfectly free from every deleterious
substance and to be purely vegetable
They do not weaken by their action
but by giving tone to stomach and
bowels greatly invigorate the system.
Regular size 25c. per box, sold by
druggist
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20

Did you ever stop to think what
Indigestion really means? 1t means
simply that your stamach is tired.
II our legs are tired, we ride. The
horse and the steam engine do the
work. Why not give your stomach a
ride! that is, let something else do
lts work. All plants contain diges.
tive principles which will do this.
The Shaker Digestive Cordial con
tains digestive principles and is a
preparation designed to rest the
stomach. The Shakers themselves
have such unbounded confidence in
it that they have placed 10 cent sam
pie bottles on the market, and it is
said that even so small quantity
proves beneficial in a vast majority
Of cases. All druggists keep it.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20

Chicago, ILL.,, Feb L H. Dean,
son of the chief justice Of the Su.
prene court of the British posses
sions in Africa, pleaded guilty to the
charge of forgery in Judge Dunn's
court to-day. Some years ago. it is
said, be had prominent position in
one Of the first banks Of England,
He came to this country and visited
California, where he got into trouble
and served two years for forgery
The crime to which he pleaded gull
ty to dag was attempting to pass
forged check for 81 800 on Cook &
Co. the excursion agents and brok-
eya. He was sent 10 the renitentlary
/ for an indefinite IerG4 under the
habitual criminal act. Dean has "a
wife and children living il saw
York City. He begged hard for
cIemencv and the court agreed to
recommend his discharge when he
had served ole year @ith good be-
havior
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
FIGHT POSTPONED.
The Big Mill Put Off on Account OF
Maher's Eyes.
GREATLY INFLANED THROUGH SAND.
FitZsimmons and Julian Express sympathy
for the Sufferer and Give Him Time
to Recover-Afraid of the
Authorities.

Ell PAso, Tex, Feb, 1.-THE big
fight is postponed until Monday at the
earliest, and when that day comes the
future of the matter will DC deter
mined. Maher came to the city at
6:3O last night. His eyes were tightly
closed, and he wore green shade over
them. Over the green shade was
travelling cap, with the visor pulled
down close upon the nose, to prevent the
light from striking his eyes. lie was
compelled to allow Connolly and Hall
to guide him to the carriage, aS he was
utterly una BILE to open his eyes. The
carriage was quickly driven to little
brick building on an alley just off the
plaza. The newspaper representatives
were sent or by Connolly and Maher's :
eyes were inspected. They were swol-
len alsaost shut and water eXuded from
the corners. \ raising of the lids
showed that the eyeballs were greatly
infamed.
Maher has been training in an old
adobe rink at Las Cruces Inc dust
was so thick when he was going
| through his training that visitors com
|
| continuing work in an atmosphere OF
dust Sunday one of his eyes began to
! pain. Report came down that he
had sand in the member, but that Il
would only temporarily inconveni
ence him. Tuesday both eye,
were affected and the condition
of the Irish fighter has been getting
worse until yesterday he could not see
Mahers trouble is not uncommon II
this region. Residents are not SO liza bl'
to it as those who have been here bu
| a short time. The alllali dust create
an irritation that results in blindnes
and great pain, but it usually passe
away in week or ten days. An arm
surgeon who examined Maher's eye
said he thought they would be we'll i
"A week. DR.. Yandell, city health Oft
Ger, who looked at the sufferer las
night said Maher would not be able
enter a ring for week.
Martin Julian and Fitzsimmons wer
sent for as soon as Maher was place
in a room. Both examined the sutfe
er's eyes, expressed their sympathy fc
him and announced that they woul
not under any circumstances clal
forfeit. They will give Maher amp
time to recover.
! Johnny Murphy's trainer, Conro
, told a peculiar tale about the troub
with Maher's eyes. He was asked
! Peters eyes were as bad as reported.
l Ills eyes are slightly intlamed,"
q replied, but are plenty good enoue
to fight"
! 'lf that is so, what is wrong, then
'Tll tell you, confidentially, Nah
is afraid of the authorities. Wedne
day night our training quarters we
4 surrounded by as hard looking set
a men on eback, with rifles, as ev
saw. They patrolled the house, tn
i is, within so yards of it, all night, al
g had the life scared out of every bod
n We learned from Deputy Marshal Jl
Boards son, who waits on us at t
house, they thought we were going
pack up and leave for the battlegroun
, and they were ready to trail us L
Neither Maher nor anybody in o
y camp is ready to die with his boots c
Ia and unless Stuart can guarantee pl
lection, Maher, Marshall nor Murp
- will get in the ring"
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
The FALLS RUN DRY.
An Ice Dam at Niagara Diyerts the Water
ia the Canadian side.

An Ice Dam at Niagara Diserts the Water
to the Canadian side.
NIAGARA FALLS. \. y, Feb li.-t'or
the first time in half century the
American falls practically ran dry yes
terday. BY the formation of an ice
bridge or dam, extending from Schlos-
ser's dock on the American bank. about
half way across the river, the water was
almost entirely diverted to the Canadian
falls Yesterday morning it was possible
for a time for man with plank to have
walked from the mainland to Goat
island without wetting his feet. and,
indeed. to walk between all the islands
inside OF Goat island. At II o'clock
the water was SO low that a man IL
knee boots could have walked across
the brink of the falls from Prospect
point to Goat island.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
TOWNSHIP SETTLERS WIN.
Decision Against the Man Who Claimed
Half of the Residence Portion of

Decision Against the Man Who Claimed
Half of the Residence Portion of
Guthrie.
GUTHRIE, 0. T., Feb. 1.-THE cele-
brated case of Veder b. Payne against
the townsite settlers of Guthrie, in
which Payne claimed title to half of
East Guthrie, including the finest resi-
dence part of the city, thickly built up
with fine residences, was decided by
the supreme court in favor of the
townsite settlers. Payne claimed to
have settled upon the land first on
the day of the original opening Of
Oklahoma to settlement, riding here
from the east line and beating the set
tiers who came on the train. His
claims are all disproven, however, and
the fact also held that he did not take
the land in good faith to homestead,
but for speculative purposes.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
FOUGHT AT CHURCH.
q T. Burdette is Dead and His Son
Dying.

7 Burdette is Dead and His Son
Dying.
Smear Lake, Mo. Feb. 1O.-W. J.
pnrdette and his son William, farm
we're assaulted near Rushville,
uo.. Yesterday, by George and
Charley May, neighbors, and in the
a,ht which followed w.J. Burdette's
.tull was crushed. He died in an
hour. His son is fatally stabbed.
The assailants are under arrest.
There is talk of lynching,
About 8 o'clock in The afternoon
William Burdette rode up in front
Il the church where religious ser.
vices were in progress. Yonng
Charles May was standing at the
door. May began quarreling with
Burdette.
"You are always killing someone
With your mouth" said he, ''but you
rare never known to hurt anyone "
At that young Burdette leaped
from his horse and grappled with
Msy.
George May, an uncle of Charley,
attracted by the scuffle, ran from the
church and was Immediately follow
ed by W. J. Burdette, young Bur
dette's father. The senior May turn
Cd about, picked up a fence rail ano
struck the old gentleman on the
head, fracturing his skull. He ther
watched the fight between hi
nephew and young Burdette.
Charles May drew knife ant
stabbed the boy in the abdomen. HI
is mortally wounded and his deatl
is expected at any time.
The religious service inside brok
up in confusion and a great crowt
surrounded the belligerents. Their
was talk of violence, but an Office
who was present at once placed tn
Mays under arrest and took them t
st. Joseph, where they are now i
jail
The Mays have a bad reputatio
in this neighborhood, where the
are known to be quarrelsome. Th
Burdettes were law abiding peopl
and good neighbors. There has bee
afeud of long standing between tt
parties.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
FIRE AT MILAN, MO.

Several Business Houses Eurned a. the Ee-
suit of supposed Incendarism.
Milan. Mo, Feb. 14.-This city was
visited by very disastrous fire early
Yesterday morning, which destroyed
$40, 600 worth of property. Following
are the losses: ". \. koons, grocery,
81. 500. insurance. $1,000: J. y. Bald
ridge, s., 900, insurance, $, 500; ;. A.
Schoen. furniture, $500, insurance,
50, 600; J. \. Winters. building, $1,000,
insurance. s. 900: J. \. Harty, grocery
s.. 600. insurance. Sl.s00. The fire is
supposed TO have been Of incendiary
criyin
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
FOR JUDGE GENERAL
Name of Jasper n. Morrison. of Missou-
ri. Sent to the Senate.

Name of Jasper n. Morrison. of Mlssou-
ri. Sent to the Senate.
Washington, D. c., Feby. IL
Jasper n. Morrison, a young lawyer,
came here from Missouri a few years
ago and obtained clerkship in the
bureau of of the Judge Advocate
General of the army. He liked the
place and made careful study Of
military law, By gradual steps and
on his merits he was advanced until
he became chief clerk of the bureau,
one of the most important of the
War Department. Last year re-
tired army officer named Armes be-
came involved in an unpleasant affair
with Gen Schofield. He was court
ma -tialed. The case presented some
peculiar features. Armes appealed
! from the court martial sentence to
! the civil courts. Mr.. Morrison was
! given charge OF the matter, and con
Quoted it with such skill as to re-
ceiye much commendation from the
| department. One civil Judge set
aside the court martial sentence. An
| appeal was taken, aud Morrison $
position was at length sustained.
The case drew attention to Mr. Nor
rsons capabilities In such a forcible
manner that when the time came tC
I'll a vacancy of Judge Advocate il
the army Mr.. Morrison d name was
| suggested 10 the President and sup
ported warmly by Secretary Lamont
Gen Sehofeld and Others. The ap
poiutneut was made to day, ths
nomination being seut to the Senate
The office is very desirable one
It carries with it the commission
AID pay of q Major in the army, anC
is for lfe, with the privileges Of re
tirement. and the usual allowance
OF officers Of tEe regular army. Nor
rison has relatives in tie western
part Of Missouri. ana Is well known
in the State
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
Free Coinage rrohlbition,sts win.

LINCOLN. Neh, Feb. 1.-THE prohi-
bition state convention was called to
order yesterday and free silver fght
was Immediately precipitated. Pre-
vjous 10 the convention the state cen
tral committee met and adopted set
of rules to govern the proceedings.
This was ignored and the free silver
element won its fight IhIs means
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
Yield not 10 Misfortune.

was afflicted with catarri' last au-
4urnn. During the month OF October |
cozr,d r1=i.rseR taste or smell and could
hear hut little. E!Y's Cream Balm cur
ID 6-Narcus Geo. onaQEz. Railway, y !.
suffered from caEarrla oE the worst
kind ever since boy, and neTer hop
ed for cure, hut ELyss Cream Balm
seems to do e9en that Many acqa&in-
tances have used il sltf1 e1eeLLeHt re-
sr,Tr'-Oscar Ostran1, * Warren Ave,
Chicago, III. Cream Ba-1- j. asFee&2ae'
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
ErcGIeus arnIca Sa.vc,

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts
Bruises, Sores. Ulcers, Salt Rheun Fever
Sores, letter, ,Chapped Hands, Chlblains
Corns, nd all Skin Eruptions, and posi-
lively cures Piles, or no pay required. I
is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction
or money refunded. Pricsz5 cts per box
For sale BIZ r, L. Tucker, druggist
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
Five We're Dead.

JACKSONVILLE. Fla, Feb. IA boat
containing five dead men and six barely
alive was found on Dog Island beach
near Carribelle, Fla, yesterday. The
men were on 50-ton schooner which
was sunk in the gale last week. They
have been adrift since without food,
water or clothing. and five suceumbei
before land was reached.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
StoIen Ronds Recovered.

ST. JosErH, Mo, Feb. l4.-Judge J.
l.. Bennett, president of the State
bank of Savannah, which was looted
by robbers last week, was in the city
en- route to st. Louis, where he goes to
recover the S1+, 900 in United states
bonds stolen from the bank. He re-
ceived a telegram from the brokerage
firm of Wenz & Dickerson. Of st. Louis,
stating that they had the bonds in
thnir rnSSCSSiOn.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
LA GRIPPE REMAINS
For Years in the system if Not Cured.

For Years in the system if Not Cured
This country contains a large mul-
titude ct men and women who are
debilitated and weak as the effect of
la grippe. II every one would do
3 the Reverend Petty, of Virginia,
did, this vast multitude OF sufferers
would soon be we'll and strong again.
He writes:
Last winter I had very bad case
of la grippe which left me enfeebled
and liable to cold at the slightest
exposure. | tried number Of rene
dies. but they afforded only temper
ary relief I saw an advertisement
of Pc ru ma aud concluded to try it.
I have been using it for two months,
and it has afforded me much relief.
1t is indeed a panacea to me. It has
invigorated me more than anything
! ever lliSb-
it to others and advised them to
send for your pamphlets l have
written of it to distant friends You
can use this statement in any way
YOU choose. Rev II. PETTY,
Baptist, Dry Fork, Va.
For further particulars and mul
titude of witnesses write to The Pc
ru-na Drug Manufacturing Company
Columbus. Ohio, for a free copy oi
their illustrated treatise Oh Ia
CRIME. Petu-na is also a sure cure
for catarrb, cough. colds, bronchitis
first stage Of consumption. aud al
c!inatic diseases Of winter
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20
Removal.

we take pleasure in announcing that
4ter this date Parks Sure cure will re-
move all traces or rheumatism, kidney
uoooies and liver complaint from the
user. 1t is the only medicine that is
guaranteed to cure these diseases or no
nay. Paris sure cure is sold by Fl. L
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20

CLINTON. Mo. Feb. II. - Deputy
United Marshal Haldeman brought
Roherr Ball from Windsor and lodged
a complaint Of counterfeitin- against
him. lie was silverlzing pennies and
passing them for dimes Bali pleaded
eulI:y ara .r.-~~F'@atad others.
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20

VAsg3xG-o<. Ieb. Ex-senator Pet
tic-evv has reported from the commit
tee On Indian 1Eairs the bill % grant
right OF way to the St. Louis, Okla
hona ( Southern Railway Co thro1e Il
the indian and OalaAona territories
The Butler weekly times., 1896-02-20

WASHINGTON. Feb. l4-Ihe house
committee on railways and canals
voted 10 report Mr.. Chickering's bill
for L surrey to determine the feasible
itv If q ship canal to connect the great
lakes with the navi-able waters Of the
Hudson. The appropriation was re-
duccd from SI00 900 10 $50, 059.