The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1896-05-21

An AtchisOn man recently caught three diff
ferent men kissing his wife. whereupOn he went
to lawyer. "YOu have very good grounds for
DIVORCE, the lawyer said. II don't want a di-
vOrce,'' the citizen REPLIED II want to get out
an injunction to make them quit LEX.
The mere announcement that the Rev. Mr.
Lord, of st. Paul. will deliver an address on
Memorial Day, that the Eastern Star quartet
of Minneapolis will contribute several vocal
selections, and that Miss leila Zee Sweitzer will
be present is a guarantee that an enjoyable
time will be had on that day.
Captain Thomas Alexander is again presiding
over the dollhouse, his furleugh lasting only five
days, but perhaps he crowded ten days fun into
the five. He reports a splendid time and says
that the rain and fish we're about equally divid-
ed. AS it rained hard every day during his alb
sence he must have caught fish galore.
The chief clerk ordered bicycle sometime ago
and upon receiving same called his friends the
doctor and the chief engineer into consultation
we suppose with the two fold object of having
their assistance in his efforts to become a
''scOrcher" and also, if necessary, their profess
SIGNAL service, the former for himself and the
latter for the machine.
Garrulous boarder:-"For ten years my habits
were as regular as clOckwOrk. l rose at the
stroke of 6; half an hour later 1 sat down to
breakfast; at was at work. dined at -, ate at
and was in bed at $50, ate only hearty food
and wasn't ill single day. Sarcastic bOarder:
Dear mel And what were you in fOr?" lawful
silence. )-Pick-M e-Up.
A joint letter has been received from little
Johnnie Davis and his father announcing the
formers safe arrival home. 1t took week to
make the trip, owing to his condition, to Ala
bama John writes that the folks were overjoyed
to have him home once more. and his father eX-
presses their thanks to the officials for the care
and attention given him.
Accompanied by Supt Hanlon, Mr.. Asa
Wright, of Hastings, called at our Office on the
10Th. Mr.. Wright is heavy dealer in binder
Irvine and his visit was for the purpose of max
ing arrangements for handling the prison prod
uct, as Mr.. Wright's experience has shown him
that the prison Irvine gives general satisfaction
and that Minnesota farmers will take no other.
The state OF health of Oscar Wilde has of late
been causing considerable anxiety to his friends,
in answer to whose inquiries the home office re-
Gently sent down two doctors to examine and re-
port upon his condition. On examination of the
prisoner the doctors were unable to find any
cause to warrant their suggesting any relaxation
in the ordinary prison discipline being made in
his regard.-Ex.
The population has remained stationary dur
ing the past week, three having been discharged.
and three received. as follows: Lindsey Slater,
vo6 fro, TndI 10 will
the crime of grand larceny in the second degree;
Robert A. Turrel, reformatOry plan. and Thomas
Crowley who will serve five years for the crime
of grand larceny in the first degree and one year
for burglary in the third degree, the two latter
being sent from Redwood Co.
A yOungster of less than three summers living
on Third street, having an ambition to assist his
mother began Juggling in wood. AS he had to
travel up long flight of stairs his little arms,
with their two little sticks, became quite limp.
and as he reached the kitchen wOOd-box he
whacked the wood in with long sigh and the
smOthered imprecatiOn. That's id hard
work. His paternal ancestor had been putting
up stoves lately and it is suspected that Willie
junior heard him.-Stillwater Messenger
For the information of the new arrivals who
come here from week to week. we wish to say if
you want to send THE MIRROR to relatives or
friends, you will be allowed the privilege by
complying with the following rule: Send to this
office your name, register and cell number, also
full address of the person to whom you desire to
have THE MIRROR sent. Do not write address.
cell number or any other matter on your paper;
keep them perfectly clean and place them in your
cell door every Friday evening. Those who do
not send THE MIRROR away will confer favor
by sending them to this office.
Judge Wilcox committed tramp to the county
Jail for thirty days, and officer Parker took him
down on Friday. He was very enterprising
fellow and not without certain sort of business
CD ability. He borrowed a pitcher ostensibly
to get drink of water, sold the pitcher for ten
cents borrowed pail of another over.cOnfding
lady in which to put the beer, which he pur-
chased with the proceeds of the pitcher and was
out for the purpose of selling the pail for money
to buy more beer when arrested. He was work.
ing the "endless chain in finance quite as sue
cessfully as is the United States treasury-Sauk
Center Herald.
An exchange prints the folowing Men are
like hogs, however distasteful this may sound to
hogs When hog gets an ear of corn. every
other hog will trOt along behind and sQueal and
whine and beg and toady for bite. but let the
front hog get in tight place with his head fast
in crack, and every son of a SOW will jump on
him and tear him to pieces. Just so with men.
AS long as man is prosperous and has money,
he can't keep friends off with baseball bat.
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