Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25
A WORD ABOUT COINCIDENCE.
Et Should he Comfy offered AM, Delicate
" Considered.

tt should Bc Gently Orered anS Delicate
~ Considered.
The foundation of coincidence Is
sympathy, for it is, In fact, only ON
expression of sympathy, but sympa-
thy itself Is sometimes simulated or
merely porfunctory. Words Of con-
dolement arc consequently In many
oases sot terms or trito sayings ut.
tered without thought Sr feeling,
and whom that is the case thoy have
no cOnsoling effect But roal con-
dolcment with tho afflicted, spring.
ing naturally out of sympathy, has
II soothing effect Tho sorrow is di-
vided, as it wero, and tho Chiof suf-
ferer or mourner fools relieved by
having a companion III misery. No
such relief is brought by polite
words of sympathy coldly expressed,
which ovCry ono tutors rs n matter
of form, and which 40 ONO takes us
having serious meaning.
Tho expression of sympathy which
is most folt and most gratefully re-
ceivod is not always translated into
words. The pressure of tho hand or
kindly acts of consideration may
sometimes DO moro consolatory than
any spoken words. People of judg-
ment and consideration who wish to
console the afflicted do so quietly
and gently. They do not attempt to
stop tho torrent of fresh grief, but
waiting until it has subsidized exhibit
such sympathy in acts rather than
words as will tend to soothe the sor-
rowing. The mourner at deathbe
knows as we'll a. any adviser that
tears will avail nothing; no knows
that the end was inevitably; that it
may have been for tho best; that we
should be thankful for the compan-
ionship of the departed one during
life rather than mourn over his loss.
All of these thoughts and set
phrases have boon made familiar to
him by constant repetition, but they
grate upon his cars in the presence
of his own fresh grief and afford him
no consolation. From the offusive
friends without real sympathy in
their hearts who thus ondcavor to
condole with him he turns for relief
to some ono whose roal sympathy is
expressed in actions rather than
words-one who Is silent because he
feels tho hollowness of nero profess
sions of sympathy, and who is toler-
ant of tho passion of grief because
he feels and understands its force
Real consolation is found ia such
coincidence, and little by little the
grief is assuaged, and then comes
the period when the mourner finds
consolation in tho talk that at first
irritated him. People who desire to
condole with others, even as a mat
ter of form, should respect the peri
DDS of grief and avoid wounding the
scared heart by hollow expressions
of philosophio comfort at q time
when the mourner is i'll prepared to
receive consolation from such q
source. Ia tho house of death all
voices are lowered through awe.
They should be stilled out of sympa-
thy, at least until the passion of
grief has spent its force and the
mourncrs have begun to hunger aft
or sympathy md coincidence. Time
is the great curer of grief, and the
best that we can do is to intelligent
ly aid time by extending coincidence
in words only whom the words can
be both understood and appreciated
after the passion of fresh grief
has subsidized. baltimore Sun.