The National tribune., 1896-02-06
FUN FOR TIE POST,
Tactics for Drill of the Awkward
Squad.

:
meetings. They not copyrighted, but pre-
sented free gratis TO the boys" Here they
are:
In selecting tie men for the squad the fol.
lowing nationalities might be represented, viz:
American, Irish, German Jew and Swede.
Each shonld be given name suited to the
nationality assumed. The squad should not be
less than three sets of fours, single formation !;
]. e., II men exclusive OF the Captain and Ser
geant. There should be great difference ir
the hight and size of the men as possible; !;
very short and very tall, well as very thick
and very thin. The dress Of the men, when
not uniformed, should be of a nondescript
nature, and suited to the character adopted.
When the squad is uniformed the clothing
should be ill-fitting. and the men contrary in
appearance to that of neat soldier remember
ing always that the object of the drill is the
ridiculous, which should be carried ont to the
extreme point The arms used should be
the old muzze-loading musket, the tactics be-
ing arranged for that arm.
The Sergeant forms the squad single file,
shortest man in front, followed by the tallest,
and so on, keeping up the irregularity as to
size, hight, ETC., all movements 10 be executed
in as unsoldierly manner as possible.
The following names might be appropriate
to select from; to wit Captain Michael
OHcoehan; Sergeant, Patsy Flannigan Pr-
Yates. Jonathan Pillswallower. Jeremiah
Throwemup. Dennis McPhelan, Ole Olesen,
Peter Petersen, Algernon Emptypate. Patrick
0'Farity, Thomas McCarty, Sammy 0leober-
stein, Yacob Strauss, Timothy Tittleman, Jen-
kins Overthrow.
The squad being formed, the Sergeant steps
/ two PAGES to the front, faces the squad, brings
his piece to an order, and commands:
"Attintion to roll-call!"
When the roll has been called the Sergeant
brings his piece TO a carry, faces about. salutes
tho Captain-who has previously taken his
station five PAGES in front of and facing the
squad-and reports:
Sur. the company is formed! q"
The Captain. who stands with assumed dig
nifty, with arms folded across his chest, with
difficulty draws his sword, and with sundry
/ fourishes brings it ta carry and commands:
"Scrg't Patsy Flannigan, are all the min
! present?"
] Sergeant (saluting):
Sur, all present, and the rest ted for"
Captain: THAT will do; take your station"
The Sergeant faces about and takes his post
at the head Of the squad
The Captain now addresses the squad:
Min aud soldiers including Patsy Flann-
gan, the Sergeant: Yez have been assembled
here to show what yez can do in the matter of
hit of dill, aud TO demonstrate yer ability to
go into battle and be kilt in an illigant manner
with ye- faco to the inemy and yer backs
the foe. In order TO do this gentailly, aud to
the credit to yer Captain-silence in the
ranks-yez must be well drilled in the revolu-
tions of a soldier, and 10 handle tho gun with
such dextarity that yez won't shoot yer Cap
tain yourselves.
Before the drill in the gun I'll be after
showing yez the stand of tho ssger.
" Now, min, take the stand of soger. Heels
in the and toes 10 the front, and spread
out like Chinese fan in warm weather. Will
yez kape still in the ranks?
"Serg't Patsy Flanagan, be after showing
fbat Sxpu do Dagar
his fate. That will do.
Stand on yer own fate; kape yer head on
yer own shoulders and will elevated. Eyes
in the front Of yer head and wide open, SO yez
can see the inemy before he can see yez
Legs fast 10 the body at the hip knees al
ways IN 'front.' Arms hanging straight down
loike cows tail. The stomach in front of yez,
and never empty when yez can help it. The
canteen hanging by yer side, with always q
drop left for yer Captain.
" Now as to the drill of the gun. Hold the
gun in the right fist, big end down and the
other end up. The gun fornenst the right
shoulder the side with the barrel bebint. and
the other side in front.
"Wil yez kapc silence in the ranks, Dutchy
Strauss? IL yez don't kape still in the ranks,
bedad III pat yeZ in the buck and gag Do
yeZ neind that. now?"
The alignment having purposely been de-
stroyed the Captain steps to the head of the
81
there on the extrame tother end. Stand back
little, Jonathan Pillswallower Sammy Oleo-
bersiein, COON ont in the middle and pull in
yer corporation, or I'll be after cutting it clane
of with me broadsword."
Makes 6ourishes towards Sammy.
Sammy, are ycZ an Irishman?"
" Nine, i was Yue."
will now be after showing yez the drill i'm
the gun. Silence in the ranks saw. attintion
to the drill of the gun" The men are at a
carry.
"On the ground-order.
In the Ast-carry.
Fornenst the face-present
In the FIST once more
"OD the back-rigbt shoulder
In the fist again.
Now on the arm-support
On the egrOund-p-a-r-ad-e r-i-s-t-!
When commands yez 10 load. take bullet |
from the pill-box and put il in the hole at the
top of the gun, draw the hammer smartIy from
the lock. and wild the stick ycz will find on the 4
SIDE ot the gun, push the cartridge TO the bot /
tom. exentrick, &c.
Now reminder, min and sogers what I'm
telling yez about the lOad-siieuce in the ranks
say. Stand the big end of the gun ON the
ground, and put the bullet in the little end
pull out the lock stnartly and wild the iro:: stick
yez VIII Dnd on the gun, push the hamme clane
10 the bottom.
AttintAon. company. Load line times and
two moiions-Loadi" Aside: " be dad, that is
too many loads in one gun, but that's what the
tactics say, and down they go IL il busts the gun
and Kills ivery mothers sou Of en-" When the
pieces arc loaded, some of the men come to a
carry, Others to right shoulder while others 10
a present.
Captain: "Splinded, min; splinded. But veg
should bring the gun TO the fist after the load.
Now yez that have the gun on the back. in the
fist, aud yez that have the gun fornenst the face
10 the nst once more and yeZ that have the gun |
on the ground. in the fist again. Silence. saw
II yez don't want TO go TO the buck and yap.u
When l. want yez to fire ] will command
Ready-Aim-FITC! At the command ready
yez will cock the gun, and look behint yez for
safe place to run 10, IN case the inemy is close
on 10 yez."
"At the command aim, yez will bring the
gun smartly to the face the end with the hole
ia iornenst yez, the other end against the right
shoulder. When yez get the command sharply
to fire, yez will shut yer eyes pull the trigger
and light out for The rear This precaution is
necessary TO prevent the enemy from shooting
yez in the face, and that ye can be on hand
when Patsy FlaDnigau calls the roll in the
evening.
Now, me sosers, attintion 10 the fire.
"Ready-Aim-Fire,"
At the command fire. several of the souad
apparently much excited, aim at random and
fire.
Captain: How'd there, will yez: don't
IRE until yez get the command of execution |
was only giving yez the parliamentary COM
mand, which is a kind of instruction loike
telling yez how 10 do il.