The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-01-20

*
L HAS long been said by GER
tain class of men, more as
cynicism than as fact, no
doubt, that the worse man
treats woman the better she
likes him. The same thing has
been said of dog Care woman and
dog co-ordinateO, but it is no more true
Of one than of the other. OF course no.
body could believe it Of woman, and
only brute would say it. What is prob
ably meant by the assertion is that she
is so devoted when she loves that she
will often bear almost any kind of treat
ment from a man rather than surrender
her attachment. But this would sound
sentimental, and so a thorough man Of
the world, as every cynic conceives him
self to be, refuses to express it save in
his own hard way. That ugliness should
bebet kindness or hate love is contra
dictory, inconceivable, shockingly false.
1t betrays the grossest ignorance of hui
man nature, which, under all normal
conditions, returns good for good.
The churlish, snarling ascription may
be due to a strange fact, often observed
in woman, that she hardly appreciates
excessive devotion in man, and frequent
ly seems to resent it by Indifference, if
not by GOODNESS 1t may be only GER
tain kind of woman who acts so cit is
idle to generalize about her, since she
has endless Variety, but there can
scarcely be a question as to the fact.
Woman, being human, loves to be loved
and prefers even more to love, though
all loving implies, in the nature of
things, degree of reciprocity. But does
she enjoy receiving far more than she
gives? Does she esteem what is called
worship? Is she fond of being surpassed
in what is thought to be her own proper
field? Surely appearances indicate just
the contrary. Who has not seen women
fairly idolized by men, regarded as if
they were superior beings, placed ON a
pinnacle to be looked up to and revered?
And what sort of return do they make
for all this? Do they revere and idolize
in turn? So far from it, they appear to
accept the extraordinary homage not
merely as right, as a matter of course,
but with something closely akin to
scorn. If they were goddesses, presum-
ing the impossible, they would be more
gracious, more sensible of the hyperbolic
honor. But as simple, generally COM
monplace creatures their vanity would
seem to be lifted into the empyrean
and they made to believe themselves
worthy of more divinizing than they get.
But is such seeming veraciousf The
entire likelihood is that, in their opin-
ion, they deserve no divinizing, or, If
they do, not from the source whence it
emanates. They might relish to the ut
most the loftiest adulation generally, as
is thought to be the habit of their sex,
but not particularly, not individually,
at least not from him they consider
their lover. Why should they count him
an exception Is it not the way of wom-
en-? Do they not always idealize their
lovers, turning them into heroes, though
they be the prosiest Of prosy mortals?
Their lovers courage is supreme, their
intellect commanding, their Judgment
infallible, their influence irresistible,
their charm omnipotent. But when they
outidealize them, when thedemigodsc con
vert them into demigoddesses and burn
constant incense at their shrine, the I'M
idealizing process begins and continues
fast. They see not the flaws merely, but
the grave defects, and these are exag-
gerated. The vast proportions of the i'm
age they have created dwindle sudden
ly and rapidly until life size has been
reached, and that provokes the reverse
Of enthusiasm. Their lovers are no lon
ger loved. Their passionate romance,
the emotional arrangement, has spent
itself. They are placed at last face to
face before the mortal that has been dis
illusioned by the very fire and force Of
his enravishment He has fallen from
the zenith, to which the woman's love
had exalted him, to the nadir where her
disesteem has reduced him, all through
the wildness of his ecstasy.
To put it more directly, as q man &
love grows beyond the average degree OF
insanity, woman's love-that is, the
love Of many women-appears to COO
and diminish. If hers mounts with his
even to the point where the unadulter'
ated element of fire was thought by the
ancients to inhere, it is well or i'll with
both. They are levelly mad, levelly ir
responsible, mentally and morally. One
cannot rave more than the other. The
chances for despisal are mutually
shared. But they must keep abreast
that is, he must not outstrip her in thu
erotic race She may outstrip him; sht
usually does, without deplorable result
without perceptible effect. Man, always
a superlative egotist, is not harmed by
the preponderanoe Of woman's devotion
over his. He is used to 1t; he expects
it., however undeserving he may be.
But when his preponderates over hers
and he discloses it unreservedly, he Il
losing his vantage ground; he is breed
ing dissatisfaction for both. She hun
gers for limitless love, but his for hel
must be somewhat within bounds, OF
discord will eusue. In other words. sb,
Graves worshipers generally, but any
one man who, among circle OF admir-
ers, individualizes himself as her lover,
attracting her as such, and then rises
into worship, is apt to cancel his attrac.
tiveness by such rising. This amatory
worship is incapable of criticism as it il
of resentment. 1t will accept anything
gratefully, even marked Sights, dis,
dainful indifference, wanton affronts.
1t is servile to slavishness 1t will
arouse in an observer indignation against
her who receives it and piteous con.
tempt for him who submits to it.
1t is not strange perhaps that an or
binary woman should despise a man
who will bear so meekly her indignities,
her insults, if she supposes him abjectly
spiritless. But usually she knows that
her victim is craven only with her
that he has in his own walks a reputa
ton for character, courage, chivalry. In
his relation to her alone his intense love
overleaps itself and falls into disorder.
She ought 10 have some tender compass
sion for him, if not sympathy with him,
on this account. But she shows for the
poor, half distracted man nothing but
contempt and bitterness. Not infrequent-
ly she may accept his attention, may
permit some formal caress she cannot
for any time witness his serfiike conse-