Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1896-11-06
Ranges at Vallee Brothers.
Gleanings and Comments.
BY ARIEL.

| BY ARIEL.
| Now that the election is over and people
are once again in their right minds it is
somewhat amusing to remember how GER
tain free and intelligent voters acted DUR
ing the period oftheir temporary insanity.
Every body read the other day of the man
who registered a vow not to have his
hair cut until Mckinley was elected. but
that was mild i'll comparison with two
men out west. They agreed that if Bryan
| were elected one of them should shave his
head and cover it with gold dust or
something resembling it and if Mckinley
were victorious the other gentleman
should do the shaving and sprinkle his
Uranium with silver dust. 1t will be no.
ticed that in each of these instances the
head of the individual had to suffer. And
it would seem to me that they must have
suffered in the head very badly before
they undertook to do such absurdities.
In this town they act much more sensi-
sibly. If appearances are to be trusted
many silent VOW must have been made
to do no work until after the election,
and to the credit of the town it must be
said that that kind of resolution is most
religiously kept. But, oh! if only some
half-a-dozen people could mention had
determined to remain silent from August
LIST to November 5th how much happier
life would have been in this town. If
any persons are anxious to show their
political fervor let them resolve the fol-
lowing until their favorite is inaugural
ed: I'll pay for my paper regularly until
Shocks is elected. I'll refrain from bet
ting as my religious principles direct
until Binks is president. I'll try and
make myself believe the prohibition
law is success and not horrible farce
until the Bronze party are in power. Any
of these resolutions faithfully kept will
bring sufficient notoriety.
see prize fighting is at a discount in
South Africa and it would seem to be OF
no account in England and i'll rather bad
odor at home. The return of the protes-
sonal fighters to the ranks OF honorable
manual labor would be a serious thing.
Competition presses the country hard
enough now, and it would mean flooding
the market with men who could force
their way to the front at the expense OF
the weaker members of the community il
the exponents of the noble art renowned
their profession. Some 60 on to the
stage where they have made reputa'
ton, and one know went into law, but
then he was only an amateur. An anna
teur fighter | mean, not a lawyer.
Wasn't it Mark Twain who once re-
lated how he learned profanity? 1t
seems to me he was quite meek and
mild young man until he struck town
where blasphemy had become fine art
He described very clearly how one enter
ed grade the first and learned to pro-
nounce "Great Scott" easily and fiuently
Then you proceeded to Caesars Ghost
and holy Smoke" etc. After that yor
took a regular course in election protani
ty, which qualified you for the position
of public officer, hotel clerk, or some
thing in that line. The great effort o.
this high SCHOOL, was to make you pro
fcient enough to disgust every reputable
person with whom you came into con
tact, particularly ladies, and so to carr
for yourself reputation that only igno
rance could desire or heather value
Mark does not say where the school was
but it must have graduated lots of men
If this should reach the eyes Of anybody
out of Island Pond afflicted with the pro
family habit let them come here and b.
cured. This town is a moral Kelley
Cure for that complaint.