davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12
HOW HE HAD THE LAUGH.

A facetious lawyer had under cross ex.
animation simple looking youth, who
rejoiced in the name of Samson, and re-
solved to raise laugh at his expense.
"And So" questioned the legal light,
"you wish the court to believe that you
are peaceably disposed and inoffensive
kind of persona
eyes,
"And that you have no desire to fol-
low in the steps of your illustrious name
sake, and smite the Philistiness''
"No; I've not, answered the witness
"And if had the desire, amt got the
power at present"
''Then you think you would be unable
to cope successfully with thousand enc
mics and utterly rout them with the jaw
bone of an ASST
"Well," answered the ruffian Samson,
~ might have try when You are done
with the weapon. "-TitBits.
First of the season, fresh oysters at
Catogni's. sssA.z5
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12

easier at Sac per cent; last loan, 3; closed
DAD. Prime mercantile paper, nominally,
Tap ger cent. Sterling exchange, easy,
with actual business in bankers bills, at
4S3 3-4a4S4 for demand, and 4S1 1-2a4S2
for sixty days. Posted rates, 1872 1-2a
4S4 and 4S4 1-2a4S5 1-2. Commercial
bills, 4S1. Bar silver, 65 90. Silver GER
tificates, Go 1-2a66 1-2. Government
bonds weak. State bonds dull. Rail-
road bonds firm. Petroleum strong.
CINCINNATI.
Cincinnati, Sept. 11.-Flour unchanged.
Wheat good demand, firm; No. 9 red, Goa
u; receipts, $500; shipments, 100
Corn quiet, steady; No. 2 mixed, % 1-2
Oats stronger; No. 9 mixed, is. Rye
quiet, steady; No. 9, 80 1-2. Lard easier
10. Bulk meats fair demand, 3.371-2.
Bacon unchanged, 4.5O. Whiskey un-
changed; sales, 513 barrels, 1.1S Butter
dull, easy. Sugar unchanged. Eggs
easier, 1 l cents. Cheese steady.
CHICAGO.
Chicago, Sept 11-Strong outside
markets and the Government crop report
aided wheat to recover from the early de-
preston caused by large northwest re-
ceipts, December closing at an advance
OF Ia cents. Corn was similarly aided
and advanced Ia cents at 3,S cents. Oats
closed IS cents higher. Provisions
suffered as usual from too much hog.
and closed slightly lower HA E5
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12
HON s

Fine S-room dwelling, with cellar, cab
met mantles in down stairs rooms, large
lot, with necessary outbuildings. Price,
$4,000, 5000 cash, balance $50 per month.
Elegant 1O-room residence on Patter-
son avenue, all modern conveniences,
built at a cost of $4,000, price $4,000.
Brick dwelling near center of the town
on good lot, price 81, 100.
Large 7-room house in Northwest Roa-
noke, in. good condition, price $500, $50
cash, balance $40 per month.
Dwelling in Southeast Roanoke, near
the shops, with Z rooms. Price $500,
$50 cash, balance $40 per month. This
is snap for shop man.
Cottage on Fifth avenue, in East Roa-
noke, with rooms. Price 5000, $50
cash, balance $40 per month.
Very nice Groom house in Southwest
part of the town. Price 81 $50.
Large 10room house near the depot,
renting for S1S per month. Price 81 SOD,
OH easy terms.
Dwelling with rooms in the center of
the town, will be business property.
Price 81 300 cash. This is fine invest
ment.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12
A BONANZA.

Lots 5)x130 feet each, back of the
West End round house, on Second and
Third avenues. Price $175 each.
Special bargain for short time for n
dwelling on Campbell avenue, between
Roanoke and Park streets.
Large brick dwelling, with 20 rooms,
and all conveniences, in good location.
Price $4,000.
Dwelling, 10 rooms and every modern
SO 400 ss0 oI balance ss sSfIes month
Elegant 10-room residence on Terry
hill, with bath, hot and cold water, cab
met mantles, and everything first class
dwelling should have. Price 81, 600, OH
easy terms.
We have farms near Roanoke for sale.
Let us insure your furniture this week.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12
Cash quotations were as follows

Flour firmer; No yellow corn, 81 IA; ;
No. spring wheat, 81 81; No. spring
wheat, 5la53 II; No. Q red, 81 1-4a1-2;
No corn, 20 81; No. oats, Is 3-4a7-S;
No. white, f. o. b., IS 3-4a20 1-2; No. 8
white, f. o. b., II 3-4a10 1-2; No. . rye.
81; No. barley, nominal; No. 3, f. O. b.
30; No. 4, f. o. b., 80; No. flax seed,
I'll 81; prime timothy seed, 2.60; mess
pork, per barrel, 5.70a75; lard per 100
pounds, 1922 1-2; short ribs sides, loose,
8. lOa20; dry sailed shoulders, boxed,
3.34a4; short clear sides, boxed. 3 asa
1-2; whiskey, distillers' finished goods,
per gallon, LIS; sugars unshanged
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12
L THE WORLD OF FINANCE
NEW YORK STOCKS.

New York, Sept. 11.-Although the
volume of business in stocks to, day was
only moderate, the speculative temper
was cheerful and prices, with momentary
exceptions, worked toward higher
plane. Outside buying, however, was
chiefly conspicuous by its absence. The
tone in financial circles is becoming I'M
qualifiedly bullish, although the market
fluctuations were practically controlled
by n few OF the more important profess
sional dealers who have recently been
playing for turns, with the scalpers fol-
lowing in their wake. An encouraging
development was the news of manda-
tory order from the court, forbidding the
operation of the reduced rates put into
effect by the Southern transportation
companies.
London figured both as buyer and
seller. The traders at the close were en-
gagged in discussing the probable showing
of the associated bands tomorrow The
theory is that the resources of the banks
have been swelled by about $14, 200, 900
and shipments of funds to the interior
for the week were about $3,000,000 In
addition the Sub-treasury transferred
about S2,500,00O The financial tension
at New Orleans was increased to. day by
another bank suspending. The gains in
prices extended from to per cent. in
the general list, with Lackawanna on
light dealings rising z per cent. The
closing was strong at about the best
prices of the day.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12
FOR Bale,
NOTIOm OF MEETING.

ITO SHAREHOLDERS: THE ANNUAL
meeting OF tho shareholders OF the Roanoke
transfer Company for the election OF officers to
serve during the eneuing year. and such other
business as may properly come before it, viii be
held In the office OF the company, at Roanoke,
Va, on Friday, September 18th, 1896, ut O'Clock
p. m. GRO W. RAmSKY
Roanoke Va, August IS, 1896. Secretary.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12
AN Old DOCTORS FAVORITE.

TN OlID DON OIt y Il n VIM I 70
DR.. l.. NJ. Gillian, who practieed medi.
cine over forty years, originated, used and
claimed that Botanic Blood Balm Oh. b.
b which has now been in use about fifty
years, was the best Tonic and Blood Puri-
fer ever given to the world. 1t never
fails to cure the most malignant ulcers.
sores, rheumatism, catarrh and all skin
and blood diseases. Beware of substi-
tutes. Use this standard remedy Price
per large bottle, $l.00.
For sale by druggists.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-12

First of the season, fresh oysters at
Catogni's. es.,Atss
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1896-11-20
eLsis's GRANDMOTHER.

Though her noble features soera
Tho embodiment Of rest,
Like the saints OF whom we dream
In the heaven o. TIE blest,
YET she's wearyi Many a dag
Has sho marched with lifo's gay throng:
Those she loved have dropped away
Why must she live ON so long?
Wcaried ~ unrightcd wrongs;
Frichtsncl by To, woril's dark frowni
Lifc's last ars Is dove she longs
Tor the curtain 70 90 down.
Slowly wish zach p,l.csul hrclth
Days and years crcpt toward their sUfu.
Yet she mover nsss for death;
When God wills II. lot It come.
Dearest. arc you near the ond7
Arc your loved ones dying fast7
Have you not one little friend
Who will love you TO the last?
oh. whom Hes great eddyinc whirl
Leaves mo stranded somewhere, too,
Nay / have some l.tlo rirl 90
To love me as 1 love yOul I'M
-kobert Beverly Halo in Youths Cor
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1896-11-20
HhalEF LITERATuEg FpR Al.

Lsc t.rtU-CANF EOTDCTIVETApTEp IEACrr.
D. pulii.ling % moss valuublc series Of ~.
HnCHIfC.t1. These are Ircparcd with n VII.
foFtsta tho f1ete and orf5l-u,ot1ts fcr r.
i,,l1 80 lA INC latelesI q l4ti.'f
laiAttiii Hictchahts or PROFESSIONAL Mcu.
llteu sue OF tE3 series appeals to those Ca-
FGgod iu slp.rIto industries, and p|rescnte in.
discItnbio sacts-cOmpqrsQiis OF warcc c-..
.1r a,, suAon'S sAS"ilG 'Ls
E-,tc igtic 49, rtii 4, ,o,+ .
'A"a-| INV " 200 Ie A|lb Nh EAtelNE OF q
cen camps CNcepc Wages, Liviug ar
IurIl,n Whieh VIII b8 cant for 4 cents.
Tho Who'll Is5 will ID cont Gov Al s,op4s re-
any f.-.I-o Son On oo-fe ~ o,,- o.
cslt. r-C-t1re flefl Oti1riv n15-her W ~
f ~ ~ he--Sis
~. PACEs
I.e,-. 20 80. 'r1o.
-4 Advantages OF C. Protective TariT 70
thc laa1r ahd lldu8trio3 Ofthc United
Seea' t.ist rii1o hssay, 1851. CsAw,
% pr" N-A.. s.s.... s..-.--s...ss-. 81
ff9th- ~ Inaispt naabie 70 q SUD
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1896-11-20
STOCK BRANDS


}" ~ ""As " spy
cialty OF the stock interests OF tins portion
r NJ uo-.
Try.
4u,utoiu l,u,. g .rd ,o.l H..
.Ln,o, .nd .o,,lovo :, All.
N'''' VI 'H'
p0'''o' OF t't ''''''o'''
Aaf'''@ is "N''' 20 ''l'y
'"' o Nv "''
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1896-11-20
East lIme and Sllo Connection

See that your tickets read via Texas & Pa
cite Railway. For maps, tiucc tables, ticket
rates and an required Information call on or
address any of the ticket agents.
D y. DARBYsHIRE, General Agent, FL
prao, Texas,
GAsTON MESLIER. General Passenger
and Ticket Agent. Dallas.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1896-11-20

Sure, Prompt, Positive
Cure for Impotence, Loss
Of HnHh10f, Seminal
Eri5si0H8, SpfFndiorrhcG,
HofBcHsgess, Self DiGtrHst,
L0gs Of Memory, &c. lglN
make B0u a 8TR0H0, Wqor-
oHs Nan Pfio0 $500. o
Boxes, So CO.
Sps1iai Oirecii0Hs Walled
With ogeh Box. Ad1Fsss.
taliasd 6nsE L.ain,nt Co.,
c1i0 Luct9 Ava.
81. LOUIS . uc.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1896-11-20

Tho AsEFfcAN ECONOMIST, Veofiv devofad 10 M
dis ts3ion ofal phases Of the TarH INJECTION. ~
hyea ample copie5 free. Address American Pro
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14

Two shares OF the Fourth National Bank were
sold at 1Sl. In State Issues there were sales or
$35,00O Tennessee Settlement IS at ~.
The business In railway bonds. though small,
was better distributed than In stocks but the
market was irregular, and no pronounced changes
were made either way. The heaviest dealings
were In the Atchson and Union Pacific, issues,
Northern Pacific consol 5s receipts and Southern
Railway first 5s. Atchison general is advanced
" TO 79A Chesapeake and Ohio consol os. 4 10
los: Denver and Ric Grande As u to 81: st Joseph
and Grand Island first receipts. " to 44h; Texas
and Pacific first Js 4 to 90; Union Pacific lists
of 90 q to 1JJ. Some Of the weak issues were
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
1irantial Glcrtions.
PACIFIC NAIL STEAMSHIP. SoMPANY:

Mills Buidins s5 Wall Street;
.r- New York, May 49, 1900
va,HE FORTY-NINTH ANNUAL MEETING
j OF stockholders OF the PACIFIC MAI. STEAMSHIP
COMPANY will be held at the Office Of the Company. %
Wall 81. Mills Buldng) in the City Of New York, on
WEDNESDAY 27ih day OF May, 1896. between the
2 o'clock p NJ. for the election OF
Directors transaction OF such other business as
properly before It, The transfer books OF the
Company will close the ofce Of the Union Trust Com
pany on Monday the 18th day OF May 1890. OF O'Clock
p H. and will reopen on Thursday, May ?S 1885, 10
o'clock \. NJ. w. II. LANE Secretary.
OFFICE OF PACIFIC FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY.
rJ,HE ANNUAL ELECTION for Directors Of
the Pacific Fire Insurance Company win be held az
the Office of Company No. 32 Pine ST.. Monday,
the eighteenth day OF May 1896 between the q
IL and l o'clock. GEORGE JEREMIAH
Secretary.
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
CLOSING PRICES OF CHICAGO STOCKS.
Wednesday. May 13-p. m.


According to the prophets Of gloom and de-
struction, stocks should not have advanced to-
day. and prices Of securities should have cor
tinued 10 reflect the anxiety which, according 10
their ideas has been aroused by the prospect Of
the nomination OF william Mckinley. They
reaped grain OF comfort in further wlthdra walls
of gold for export, which they credited To the
imaginary scare abroad" over Mr.. McKney's
candidacy. and also In the dulness on the Stock
Exchange. They forgot that the recent exports Of
gold have been almost wholly special transac-
tions due 70 a demand from Germany for Russia
and that none Of the metal taken out has been
on account OF any foreign liquidation in American
securities. These respondent antiMcKinley ca
lamity croakers, both individuals and newspapers.
forget a number OF things. especially all the en-
couraging factors in the situation which promise
such abundant benefits for the financial and in
dustrial future To-day's stock market was
strong throughout. but dull, room-traders' trans
actions being almost the only operations accom-
plished. There some London buying In
Louisville and Nashville and 81. Paul operations
In these two stocks being the heaviest on the rail
way list. The total sales amounted to 0'.l2'
shares last prices showing net gains running
from Is to l per cent. and on a few stocks they
were above per cent.
The morbid fancies which possess a number
Of newspapers opposed to Nick knley continue to
crop out in evil forebodngs for the safety of the
country II Major Mckinley is nominated and
elected the next President of the United States.
Despite the fact that these papers know that
the Republican party will have sound money
candidate upon sound money platform. they are
fairly tumbling over one another in their efforts
to create an impression that Europe and Wall
Street are In the depths Of gloom and despair on
account OF the currency question. and there are
a few people who foolish enough 70 believe
them. These newspapers sneer and teer and gibe
at efforts 10 show that their ciamOr against Nc
Knley is not inspired by patriotic motives. Ger
tain London financial papers warn their readers
against American Investments. because they are
not correctly informed regarding the money ques-
ton here. Certain papers here opposed TO Nc
K,ney well informed. but they hiding
and distorting the truth. and their hue and cry
against him help TO keep foreign capital away
from our shores. help to create distrust. help to
restrict trading In securities and 10 endanger
the cause Of prosperity. II these papers accu-
ra tely represented the views of Wall Street 1t
would be found by their readers that there was
considerably more cheer and good feeling than
these papers admit, despite the dulness in the
Stock Exchange market and the lamentations
and wailings of a few narrow-m minded and pessi-
mistic spectators who are short of stocks.
Closing prices to-day Of number Of active
stocks compare with yesterdays as follows
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
REORGANIZATION
OF THE
AtchisOn, Topeka & Santa Fe
Railroad Company.


INCOME BONDS or 1850.
To the Holders of Union Trust COmpuny Ccr-
tIncatcs of Deposit for the nbove-nnmcd
BOndsi
The time for the payment OF the balance OF the cash
assessment on the above mentioned bonds-heing two
per the par yaus thereof-hns been extended
60 and Including the 18th day Of Nay. 1896
Reorganization Certificates shoui be presented and
payment OF balance Of the asscsHment be made on
OF before the 10Th day of May, 1SoO. In New
York az the once Of the Union Trust Company
of Ncw York. 80 Eroedwny in London at the ONCE OF
HIRING brothers e. Co.. Limited and In Anister-
dam nj the offce Of Mr.srS. Hope a. Co. The Ger
ncates preferred stock Of the new company are
ready for delivery.
OF Reorganization Certificates who shall fan
TO pay such balance OF the before May
18th 1890 who shall on before June ls lsoo
will be required pay penalty of one per cent.
I'm par amoua; Of the bonds represented by
their certificates In addition the balance Of said as
seesment and June Is. 1896 payments II received
at ALL will lie subject such additional penalty as the
Committee may prescribe.
May LIST. 1895
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
NETWORK TRIBUNE THURSDAY H. PAGES

Northern Pacific ffst registered. whlchsiost to
Jig; Kansas Pacific first consol receipts. II to
I212; Texas and Pacific second incomes. ss to %;
Union Pacific lists OF '91. y TO 1924 and Chesa-
peake and Ohio generals 4ias. u to I4h.
To-day's Washington Treasury statement. COW
erlng actual results OF two days ago. compared
with the last previous statement. shows the fol-
lowing balances:
Nav -. Nav i3. Changes
Net gold hid Sill SIG 195 Dec g77
Net lega,-tenders
on hand li5 j65 40 III, ,23T 32G l67l,5s
Net silver nd % 0J..T7s % 1872 23S 074. SEQ
Actual cash in the
Treasury vaults
over outstand'g
certificates .S2IS 0I6 s3Rs .JiS
Deposits in bank. %. i94.j9 % 3645.55G Inc. i5io37
Available cash s2s2 1O2 s2s2 GO O5 Inc. s5l05;5
Deduct mnO' la
bilities ..... 1000 1913 10 col 2J6 Inc. l2S0. 4G3
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
TO INVESTORS.

Attenton is called to the PETIT MANAN LAND IN.
yESTMENT as a safe and profitable place 10 invest
either small or large amounts There are two ends TO
this Investment; IL the form Of an $50 stock ana
Fond combined absolutely secured by real estate The
other Is in the Purchase OF Land. either by the Lot or
the -, ,,,.,s..,. IT..
Land has Increased value from cents per foot early
in 1895 TO 3 per foot this year or an aver
age price VI IL cents per square foot Desirable Lots
csr 10 purchasei from $3.50 to 5000 that VIII un-
dobtedly be than double those prices early
Prospectus. Meps Blue Prints and full informatlon can
~ hoI a, tho Coinpanys NewYork ONCE METROPO1l-
", " W ~ nirIr DING 10. l MADISON AVENUE. or Will be
nailed on application Cottages built to order at small
nd"ancs above cost. Call address.
pfJII MANAN LAND & INDUSTRIAL co,
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
PtJII MANAN LAND & INDUSTRIAL co.
Board of Trustees Of the

Village Of College Point. " " hereby invite bids for
the whole or any part Of eleven 81 10000 twenyyear
fou per ce, water said village authorized
by Chapter ss3 OF the laws Of the State OF Newfok OF
is03 lids invited and will be received by the tr'is-
tees o, the village at In Poppenhusen institute
College Point " Y. up TO o'clock. r. NJ, June ISL
1890 when and bids will be opened. All pro-
posas be accompanied by certified check drawn 70
the order T. C1ar Eso Village Treasurer Tor hVe
per cent Of bid the balance to be paid by the
susessful bidder before ~ oc.ock June 2ath ls
at the Ninth National Bank. 40I broadway New.iork,
whc1 where the bonds will he delivered The Deaio
reserves ths right 10 reject any or all BIDS
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
INVESTMENT.
- EALED BIDS

VIII be received by the State Board OK Loan Commits
sioners OF the State OF Utah until o'clock p OF
Monday June /. 1885, for the purchase OF issue II
state or Utah bonds aggregating S2OU0O0 any part
thereof bearing date July 1895 and maturing wsn,y
wears thereafter interest per per annum.
both principal and interest payable in sold Bidders arc
r,ured TO satisfied the legality OF the issue
hstore the hour OF opening bids. Each bid he
accompanied by a certified check for . cent OF the
amount OF such bid All bids be sealed and ad-
dressed to the State Board OF Loan Commissioners Salt
Lake city Utah. The right Is reserved TO reject
or NIL bids and to consider any proposal that may be
''' w WV HEBER N. WELLS
JAMES T. HAMMOND,
A. G. BISHOP,
etste Board OF Loan Commissioners.
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
BoNDs-TIIE FEDERAL TREASURY.

BONDS-TIIE FEDERAL TREASURY.
Sales OF Government bonds confined TO
$4,000 registered Is OF 1907 at 100. and $1,000
coupon As at III Final quotations follow:
Bd.Asked Bid Asked.
u. s. As, 1891 g. cur Cs is9. i0Sf.
continued at 2. 0fx US. Gs IsSS. .IO5is
Us ~. 1917. l0s5s 1921. Us. Gs 1870 IcSh
US. A. 1907 cou 1909 ll0, Cher As 1895. E. 100
Us Is 1925 I17is flIlt cher 4s 1897. .10)
Us. As 1925 cou. ll7h 1i1A Cher 4s 1SDS 100
US. 5s 1904, reg. 1929 113 her. fs 1909. 100
us 5s 1904. .cou. 1924 II3
New-York tribune., 1896-05-14
croCKS CLOSE STRONG.
11TTLE LIFE IN TRADING.
AND MoNEY-RAILROAD EARNINGS
,r THE STOCK EXCHANGE MAY 49,

DEALINUS
1000 L $ IS Reg Reg lss5. l@5, liz liz
"SS " Fourth Ma, Blk '1si 81
,,coo Tenn sett & ss :: ,Ss IS
,,SS ,SS At Col & p ?, iss. csD ''
The St. Johns herald., 1896-07-18
An Interruption.

Colonel Gordon, cOmmandant at Fort Myer, was relating a string of reminis- cences of his western campaigns to a group of friends short time ago and was telling his hearers how on one oc- casion, in 1874, the civil authorities of Salt Lake City had arrested number of his troopers for violation of the mu- nicipal ordinances
 "These men, " said the colonel, 'were usually certified as deserters from the army, for we had no knowledge of their fate until one day I found a number of them working on a chaingang ill the streets. The matter was laid before the war department, and we were author ized to take the men. A demand was made on the city authorities for their surrender, and the demand was curtly refused We were determined to carry our point, however, and squad was detailed to take them out. <"
 Here the colonel lit cigar and blew out two or three puffs of smoke before resuming.
 "Wben I broke the Salt Lake City jail, " he continued, but before he could tell the rest Tom Murrey interrupted him.
 ''On what side of the jail were you. colonel?" he asked in sober earnestness.
 For few minutes there was such an uproar of merriment that the colonel had difficulty in recovering the thread of his story. Washington Post
The St. Johns herald., 1896-07-18

from where he sat When he vas through with his repast he shouidered his pick and sauntered over toward the huge powder. He struck his pick into it several times and diSlodged piece of the decOmpOsed rock. Great was his surprise when upon picking up the fragment he saw traces of gold and copper. Chipping few more pieces he carried them to the nearest town and had them examined by assayers, who found that they would average $50 worth of gold and cOppe: to the ton. Nelly has established a claim and is now holding off for syndicate offer. The powder is estimated to weigh 10000 tons, and it's value IS considered to be million dollars.
 In speaking of the discovery Nelly says: Ut was some me before fully realized what fortune had dis covered, but when it davned upon me that at last 1 was rich man l am afraid I made such demCnStra tions as would justify anyone who might have seen me in believing that had lost my senses. For several years have been 'grubstaked' in prospecting these noun tains without success, and many is the time have gone hungry for :he want of the price to get something to eat, and can you blame me for gong nearly crazy when I realized that ! was no longer DOOr?"
The St. Johns herald., 1896-07-18
Discouraged Linguist.

A young European, attached to one of the foreign legations at Washington, has lately withdrawn from society, ac- cording to the Star, not because he has wearied of social pleasures, but be cause in trying to speak English he finds himself, to use his own expres- sion, putting in ze foot"
 Talking with one of his new Ameri- can friends about the matter, he said:
 'I talk to ze ladees and smile and be agreeable, and all at once Zey grow quiet and look at me so var queer. I exclaim, What haf 1 done? and ze ladees zey make answer. It is not what you haf done, monsieur, but what you haf said And zen feel so decayed, oh, so decayed."
 "'Decayed? said his friend. You don't mean that. Oh, I see, you mean to say you are mortified"
 The attache was cast down anew, and could only say:
 ''Haf I not told you Spik bad all ze time?"