The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-10-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

An attached couple that are always
separating-A pair shears.
The best place to lead a fast life is
up to a hitching post.
He-"NIan proposes-what's the rest
OF that quotation?" she-"WomOn
accepts"
When thin man visits you, lodge
him in the spare room, OF course. -
Texas Sitter.
We all have our virtues: some few
OF us during our lives, and the rest OF
us on our tombstones. Truth.
The uses of adversity are all sweet
enough; but the abuses resulting
therefrom are what make us sour
Puck.
He-"1t's reported around that we
are engaged" She-"Well, you know
it's mistake" He-"Yes; 1 called
to see if 1 couldn't rectify t."-Puck.
Mame-"I hope you didn't let that
Mr.. Huggins put his arms about you"
Mabel--"Why? Is there anything the
matter with his arm? ?"-Washington
Star.
'Jack is so bashful that when he
proposed to me the other night had
to assist him." "What did you say"
Whenever he hesitated | would call
out Play ball"
He-"Do you really think Jack is
in love with your" She-"Certainly.
1 have the most positive proof. He
never knows whether my hat is on
straight or not"
His Honor (severely)-"How could
you, sir, be so mean as to swindlo peo-
pie who put confidence in your"
Prisoner-"Well, your Honor, I'll
make it worth something to you il
you will tell me how to swindle them
as don't. ."-TIt-Bits.
"Does your husband still call you
pet namesP" eyes" said the wife of
O year "yes. he does. But he does
so with little too much ease, think.
II sort OF sounds as if it were more the
result of practice than the expression
OF undying affection"
"Mabel," he implored for the TWEEN
ty.fifth time that evening, 81 love but
you, will you be mine?' "Well,
George, since you seem SO determined,
suppose" "What time is it?" came
parental voice from aloft. "Almost
won, papa" replied Mabel, coyly.-
Washington Times.
Correctly Named: "Flashly has
published volume of fugitive verse. u
"How can he call them fugitive when
none of them have b, en- published be-
fore? p "Oh, Flashly himself says that
he was chased out of two hundred Of
fees in which he had tried to sell
them. brooklyn Life.
Occasionally Happens: Smith-"1
read an interview with you, in Que OF
the papers" Robinson-"Yes ]
never was more surprised in my life. y
Smith-"Didn't you talk to the re-
porter at allP" Robinson-'I did,
and he must have put down exactly
what said. brooklyn Life.
A Possible Reason: ~ wonder why
it is" remarked the man who has tim'
for idle thoughts. "that people are mo-
permitted to shoot reed birds earlie
in the year," 'It's to prevent mis-
takes, replied his wife, who had suf
fered at q summer resort. "They hav'
to wait until the mosquito season i
entirely over. Washington Star.
Physician (examiner for life-insur
ance company -"How old are youT
Irishman an-"lwanty-five." "Your pa
rents are living, 1 SUPPOSED" "No, sur
they're dead" "What did they di
OFF" "Ould age, EUR" "How oil
were they2" "Farty, sur" "Do yo'
think person of forty dies of oil
ageP" 'In the ould country peopl
die young OF ould age."-Life.
A young couple on their honeymoon
are dallying languidly with the grape
at dessert. She (archly)-"And yo'
don't find it tiresome all alone wit
meP You are quite sure you don
want to go back to your bachelor lif
again9" He Earnestly Quite, m
darling. Do you know, II you wer
7 to die tonight, I'd get married agal
tomorrow morning Pitt. Bits.