New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-03-11
ays: Tongh-l kim ear, ruz IL @

had gone ont Into The back yard % hang
some cloe's onto the line, md she laid
the baby down III the crib. Baby want
4 more'n six weeks old, helpless little
i critter as ever yon seen. Wall. all to
IonGet the mother heerd the baby erwin,
i but bein' busy with them clo'es she didn't
mind much. The baby KEEP cry1n' nd
cryin, nd at last the mother come back
into the house, md there she found q big
I.lat gnawin' at one nv the baby ear,
had ct it nearly off! There lay that help
less little limo cent, cryin' nd writhin',
i md there sat that rat with his long tail,
.I'nippin' md chewin' at ono Nv them tiny
coral ears oh, it wuz offul -
.'Jest imagine the feelinks Nv the moth
I.erp' says Lem, sad like.
'sJest imagine the feelinks NV the ba-
by,' seq Dock. s.How'd you like to be
lynn helpless in crib with a big rat
|gnawln' your carp
Wall, all this conversation wuz fur
from pleasant to those two wimmin IN
the front seat, fur wimmln love babies
md hate rats, you know. It Wuz nuts
fur Dock md Lem to see the two vim
min squirm, nd all the way to Peory
they didn't talk about nuthlnk but
snakes md spiders md mice md caterpil-
lers. When the train got to Peory a
gentleman met the two wimmin md seq
to one NV 'em: sI'm feered the trip
halnt done you much good, Lizzie,'' says
he. 'ssakes alive, John" says she, "it's
wonder we haint dead, for we've been
travellin' forty miles with real live
Beadle dime novvell!'' .~
'Nuthe- trick Dock had wuz to walk
long the street behind wimmin md tell
about how his sister had jest lost one NV
he1 diamond earrings while out walkin'.
Jest as soon as the wimmin heerd this
the'd clap their hans up to their ears to
see if their earrings wuz all right, Dock
never LATED nor let on like he wuz jokin',
but jest the same this sort NV thing tic
killed. him nearly to deth. -
Dock went up to Chic go with ledge
Craig oncet, md when they come back
the jedge said he'd never had such an Of
ful time in all his born days. Said that
Dock bought fool Mother Goose book
to read in the hoss-cars jest to queer
folks; would set in hoss-car lookin' at
the plcturs md readin' the verses md
latin like it wuz all new to him md like
he wuz child. Everybody sized him
up fer eject, md the wimmin folks
shock their heads md said it wuz orful
fur so fine a lookln' teller to be such a
tom fool. 'Nuther thing Dock did wuz
to git hold Nv bad quarter md give it
to beggar, md then foller the beggar
into saloon, md git him arrested fer
tryln' to pass counterfeit money. I
reckon that if Dock had stayed in Chi
-cago a week he'd have had everybody
crazy. +
| No, don't know how he come to be
medikil man. He told me oncet that
when he found out that he wuzn't good
for anythink he concluded he'd be a doc
tor; but reckon that wuz one NV his
jokes. He didn't have much Nv "a prac-
.tice; he wuz too humorous to suit most
invalids nd sick folks. We had him
tend our boy Sam jest oncet when Sam
wuz comm down with the measles. He
looked at Sans tongue md felt his pulse
md said he'd leave pill for Sam to take
afore go1n' to bed. ~ r. 80
s:How shell we administer the piL?'
asked my wife.
"Wall,'' says Dock, ''the best way to
oo, is to git the boy down on the floor
md hold his mouth open md gag him till
he swallers the pill. After the pill gifts
into his system it will explode in about
ten minits, nd then the boy will feel
better" .,@.-.
This wuz cheerful news for the bow,
No human power cud ha' got that pill
into Sam. We never solicited Dock S
Professional services agin.
| One time Dock md Lem Thompson
drove over to Knoxville to help Dock
Parsons cut a mans leg off About fonr
miles out Nv town md right IN the mid
J die Nv the not peraroor they met Moses
Bakers oldest boy trudgin' along with a
basket uf eggs. The Dock whoaed his
boss nd called to the boy
''Where be You goin' with them eggs %
says he.
'sGoin' to town to sell EN-. says the
boy.
GLOW much dozen?'' asked the Dock.