Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1896-09-18
A Story Of the Merry-Go-R Round.
The Christian Lsdy. and
the COW.
with other Minor Events Concerning the
Hero Of Paradise Alley.

Hero Of Paradise Alley
The merry -go-round and its manager has
been having some interesting and novel
experiences lately. The great smash up Of
last spring with their welghty matters
pertaining thereto are written in history,
and will be found stored up in the archives
Of Sussex, and Pike counties.
Some Of the managers later experiences
are as thrilling as the adventures of Don
Quixote, and like his, should be enbalmed
In printers ink for the amusement and
benefit of posterity. To make them read
able and not too offensive to good taste,
the minor details of what accompany
drunken orgie in low life will be carefully
eliminated, and such happenings recorded
as should occur only when they are given
the melodious name Of the merry -go-round
and its manager is an Orator, Butcher, and
FreehOlder all rolled into one. 1t will be
remembered that the manager has often
told you through his organ, the Gazette,
that the carousel is undergoing repairs,
but that is a mild fiction to lots Of other
things he tells you through the same medi-
um, for while It may not have been In full
bloom It has been considered safe enough
for its manager to take many experiment
tai rides thereon since It's great smash up
last spring. On Wednesday last the mana
ger was spinning the Carousel ON Spring
street, Newton, and elsewhere around
town, but while operating ON Spring street
it became little erratic In It's actions, and
got It's arms around good Christian lady,
mother of a grown up family, etc, right in
view of numerous people on the street, and
the Court House steps. No harm was done
evidently, as the good Christian lady,
mother Of a grown up family etc, smiled
and seemed highly pleased. Later In the
day the machine got to running In hotel
in Branchville and only by persuasion was
1t induced to go home without wrecking
the hotel. A fortunate thing indeed for
the village of Branchville. On Thursday
after slight repairs the carousel went to
Pennsylvania and only mild spin was
given it. But on Friday it got on the
rampage and came near being the death Of
its manager, in fact broke all it's previous
records With Josh, the Judge" and its
manager ON board the start was made to
see how the machine would work in Sc
curing a chattel mortgaged COW without
due process of law. AS you remember, the
motive power is Jersey lightning. Well
when it got to Judge Sanitorium" the
tank was filled, and steam turned on, but
enough pressure could not be developed tc
draw the COW from her moorings.
The machine was then run up tC
"Boneys," the "biler" filled and the blower
put on. This proved to be dangerous
proceeding for the carousel soon got be
yond control as might have been expected
from previous experience. While under
great speed it run its managers stomach
against a bundle of knuckles belonging tC
George Crone, and while the manager sal
on his pants with the carousel in rapit
I gyration his head came in violent contact
with club, the property of Everett Crone
The machine now took the bit in its teeth
! and made crooked tracks for Hainesvill,
blowing off at short intervals to beat the
cars. Arriving at Hainesville in due sea
I son 1t is said the Judges" hostler ex
7 amined the machine carefully and found
the steam all out and the "biler" very
weak, ana IN MS opinion not saIS TO I'LL W
again at once The hostler there upon go
most of the machine to bed in box stall
The manager is in hospital somewhere
near the head of Paradise Alley whenc,
comes weeping and wailing, and a call fol
f court plaster and arnica that will clean VI
the old stock of all the drug stores in town
Sorrowful to relate, but it seems to be tn,
| Of -.
that is laid up for repairs this time.
Yours Ever
COxEY No l.