davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27
Gludness Comes

With q better understanding of the
w transient nature of the many phys
ical ills which vanish before proper eff
forts-gentle efforts-pleasant efforts
rightly directed. There is comfort in
the knowledge that 30 many forms of
sickness are not due to any actual dis
ease, but simply to q constipated condi-
ton of the system, which the pleasant
family laxative, Syrupof Figs, prompt
ly removes. That Is why it Is the only
remedy with millions of families, andis
everywhere esteemed SO highly by all
who value good health. Its beneficial
effects are due to the fact, that it is the
one remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness, without facilitating the
organs on which 1t acts. tits therefore
all important. in order to get its bene-
fetal effects, to note when you pur-
chase, that yon have the genuine article,
which Ia manufactured by the California
Fig Syrup Co. only, and sold by all rep
utable druggists.
If in the enjoyment Of good health,
and the system is regular, then laxa-
tives or other remedies Are not needed.
If afflicted with any actual disease, one
may be commended tothe most slSillful
physicians. but If in need of q laxative
then one should have the best, and with
the well-informed everywhere, Syrnpof
Figs stands highest and is most largely
used and gives most general satisfaction
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Hobbs-Do you believe Gallup
burned bis home to get the insurance
money! Dobbs-No; l visited him
at iHs Jail and he confessed to mo he
dad II ia git rid Of the box Of cigars
bis Wife bought him for his birthday.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

a mouse endeavored 10 convince q
rabbit OF the advantage Of wearing q
lsng tail.
You" said he. ~are not admitted to
the best society. like myself, and ! do
not doubt this Ii the sole Ger
tainly a long tail does give q an air,
While the two friends were arguing
q kite swooped down upon them. and
each betook himself to his hiding place.
The rabbit was fairly hidden, but the
mouse was easily discovered and
drawn from bis place Of refuge. Into
which he had not dime to draw his
boasted badge OF society. AZ Ire kite
bore on his prey, the rabbit remarked
quietly: my friend, the mouse. would
have been better on had he not been
quite 80 distinguished
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

&Seeus-What 10 the sense in put
finx VI III those ~grotesque statues in
Central Parke White - We owe
something 10 posterity Greene
What have they to do with posterity?
WhIte-Well won't they want some.
thing 70 swear a%ts--Judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Kansas editors excel in the selection
Of eccentric names for their papers.
The Prairie Dog, the Astonisher, the
Paralyzer and the Thomast Cat are
conspicuous among others.
Cartridges tested by Roentgen rays
TO show that they have been carefully
loaded are offered for sale by a Lon
don gunsmith.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

UoA COUNTY,
HAHK j. BaENkr makes oath that h Is the
4<H<4k pzrfner OF tbs firm of II. J. CHENEY o
0r35ni1E business IN the Cityof Toledo, County
E19 *fH<e aforesaid, and that said firm will pay
"a 41u7fe{ ONE uNDRR oLLAR for each
z14 &Yef[ case OF TARRH that cannot be
t1ted " To r&o HALLS CATARRH CURE.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
44-{ presence, this 9Th day OF December.
Notary Public.
<f<s directly onthe blood and mucous surfaces
Of ~ Afef3a1s Send for testimonials, free.
F.J. CHENEY d Co., Toledo, O.
sid bx Druggists. nc.
&1tlfa Family Pills are the best.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

About the last thing that one
would think OF patenting seems to be
u postage stamp but . bright Vir-
ginian has Thought Of that and pat.
enled a dsYics for one too. The idea
is simple enough It is merely this:
Discontinue the manufacture Of
stamps Of an odd denomination, aud
let the sssn Observation-Disclosures
cent stamps. for instance-be com.
posed oftWo small one-ceng stamps.
perforated down the middle. with
ths faure 2 over the perforated line
Then You buy only two-cent stamps
and whom you want o one-cent sepa-
rate d two The two stamps ~ = unit
are not 50 large Is one Of the Colum-
hian stamps now In use. With these
starup6 it b an easy matter 70 make
the proDer chsnge 1t will also Prove
much moro economical to the Goysrn-
anon& fur it HIl reduce the contracts
ona-ha1f. There are many other adj
tantseez which will prssent them.
selves q tbs public
IN u fHaa4aar IN % with fha ofTlz
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

III 3 queer how you ~inexperlence'
r5d.rs always take such long rides !,
80. II isnit a bit qpeer; we are afraid
u sop and get of for fear we . 60
IL 6ssin ."--Detrolt Free Press.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Five new asteroids were discovered
on photographs of the heavens one
evening recently by DR.. Max Wolf, OF
Heidelberg. This brings the number
of minor planets up TO 423.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

What do you suppose becomes OF all
the peachstones that are discarded by
the hundreds OF thousands in the great
peach-canning factories, to say nothing
IL the many that kre left from the
peaches we are all eating every day
while the delicious fruit lasts7 Have
you ever thought anything about them.
sxcept that they were not good to eat:
They are not; that Is 90: but they have
q use, howeyer-severaIs indeed. Bush
els and bushels OF them ar sold 10
fruit growers. who plant them to grow
young peach trees, that are In turn set
cut for peach orchards. From the oil
Of the kernel that h found In the In
side Of the stone d powerful drug, prus-
sic acid, 10 distilled. II IL q poison II
taken In a very small quantity, but It
Is a valuable and useful drug for vari-
sus laboratory purposes. A third use
Of the p~eachpits Is to dry them and use
for fuel. for which purpose they are
excellent.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Every Chinese implement has its
deity; there is a god of knives, another
Of spades, another of hatchets, another
Of swords; every kind of animal has
Its deity.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Cailow-Lsnd me $50, dear boy.
Gnrley--What do you want It fori
callow-I want to pay me tailaw.
|aurley-Oh. there's no hurry about
#thati callow-But l want to ardah
anothaw suit
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

~0reymkirs wtts bfouE1t 1an ans
: suit u elothes. bot 4 updszs<saz 81
mustered up the corrlze <8<sH III tai
be had made ~ hia mind 10 <1azrz
ibid he chsnEe ttf
toh ycsi be c{&nssd Nls 6air1
pinctnnati Ea4a1s0<.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Dropping or striking a steel magnet,
a csusing 1t to vibrate by any
othsr means, diminishes its magnet
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Giycerine Is derived from the I've
ieft after making soap, which for ages
WI conafdered Of no use.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

msa without enthusiasm is a veF9
SoS< fr1ends but be takes good car o.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

fzass eu:e for Consumption has no equal as a
Gq1sh nledieine-F. n. ABBOTT, Ss3 Seneca St.,
Eufslo, n. X, May 8 1894.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Five gallons Of buttermilk against a
haircut IL . bet registered at Portland
6stWesb q milkman and a barber.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

An agricultural e4eaanse zskS Nce
can We preve1t elder from rSrbi1xE
Yca might aet Il goStrna.spt p1as
tions-Texas Sitter.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

4k3s Il tho season when those per
ssoa Nd have never tried 'possun
tc16 IL -
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

i io2 barometer almost invariably
6sto2s1s . coming storm.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

|. s.l &C; o.: & ss s=ss:siss = ! iss si e
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Jusr try q 10c. box Of Cascarets, the finest
liver nj bowel regulator ever made,
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27
MRS. VAN KLEV-
VER'S Club

X A Il
VER'S CLUB,
Nancy said Mrs. van Kieyver 70
her particular friend. Miss ne Koruz
did you ever 60 to a stuffed club7
"Whate that, a dining ciubY'
Nancy, you are improving
"Reallyfy
"Yes. You are like a good transia'
ton. You're so literal that you're nj
most original"
81 don't understand you
Il know you don't. That's one reason
/ like to be with yon. One gets - tired
Of the people who think they aiNaFS ri
actly understand your inmoat soul 40
one does that"
"ReallyY
ooh, Nancy; why DO you always ~
Really? People Will think yQp srs
English. An English girl MACY.
Think OF that and try to reform
But what shall / sayT
SAY anything. just any old thing.
Say what Maud does
.MaudY'
Our Irish princess
why, Katheriner
"well, 1t would be d change 1t least
What does she sayT
"She comes In and asks nbe what We
shall have for dinner. and when / IA.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Azz. A'ss'sfee's3 3q.f
+s
Re.*
ia s7z e.
se'q ~ ez@t Pts: *e9 " <*s< @n4 !
e. y ~ 49, 7 sf .zees
" sest & ssrssasy PA tepausss
Z zss *
17z'e II ~ tk<te1fl
sg.sns 3. s1s <3's1'zst'2e enq
*,4' - s - F,'s4 80
s*se tl9sS g ss'1 eHe g 32sH y
xne ps ~ .es zssS ~
<4 q 3 =
oyez rs ~ ~ 8
slsn - y T.
s
e =. W. ~ # Is ,.s =. s.. .,.s,.a
dsl'sz myae1z zszeJ 81 xesnn'
81 <1e< ! 3f}2sa7es s7s5 s.Sp @ofe
ny He4*2'Q t}+pf !'F*E Mpen HF 9
ail tskaa s'ia5 xe'.!$ sksin tney s3aated
re psf1aS rfl5 4441Einced fn4f there
fi9f5 &A9 fge< 19e* Hopia proceet g
f1s eIeftsezt e. Qlse1'rS twenty {efes ~
ire l1efe5s1zy "a q sAoiet M6. Brown
sald tAet # t5t<s WAA ~ objeetion dhs
sleetA9a izeSld pf b aNslA hy xonf
uAetz t1e7 ffrslek zz'e zfst rock. 4
Nonaaa back - ne pnlee<ed. Hhe Hant'
q! the z3{t ~ 74 ~ kslio{ That's
whera y write = n3snR-9h yeu know
wlaf5t# 14 yQ1z$ Well 1rsf they eaid
one fqf N2 fHa5 24ninatea MIS- Van
KiupAzr a11 & Haz seconded
kol6 y9u - said ~ woman back
Ok ID:
s~sozaeone eiSH got Ap and nominated
Aeaa Nea,e1 aaa been tearIpk paper
rs. NilIeh foa psed d yous neigh.
bcr. T4$ X4ftiHs for i pencil to get
q me 1eafd ~ woman back
of s1s eFz!n<
Wv
4s1 <a3f Said fhe Honpp be-
f6Id4 he{
s1et<<z<E X@@@IE4 A4@~9<h& &(<@-31.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27
Kansas editors excel in the selec

sfr. wins.ow's soothing Syrup for chfldrea
teethiDg, softens the gums reduces infiamma-
lion. aliays pain. cures wind collie. zoe a ootsi4
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

The crows Of Ceylon are protected by
he people, because they purify the
atmosphere BY acting as scavengers.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

The common silver dollar il almost
xacily one and one.half inches ia.
liameiez.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

tl4
who Discovered Anericss :,
70. Elsie, 40 you Know nj. Malsnan
aoesn't know anything, herdiyf Aes
lust as isnorantr' said Raw % ms
tousin.
Why. Paul Duranti ana heFs MN
steri' said Elsie, with . shocked face.
Papa says he writes hne ssrsnons."
Yes. but maybe he reads them out Of
i book said Paul. Anyway. ! guess
he never went to school, for just now
when / came out he was lying in the
hammock and he asked me, Who dis-
covered American and I said, Chris
topher Columbus did, Of course and
he said, Did her"
20 myr' said Elsie. II guess she Stone
Church people wouldn't have him II
they knew It. Do you think We ought
q tell Deacon BaxterY'
.Perhaps we'd better wait q while"
aid Paul, ..cause he's only just got his
thiuVs moved. and mamma says he's
the incest man to board she ever knew.
Let's 10 and sit down near him, and
maybe he'll ask US something about 1t
and wen tell him all we know, cause I
feel 90 sorry for him.
The cousins seated themselves near
the minister. with the kindest inten-
lions, and he greeted them with q pleas
ant smile.
do you believe Columbus discov.
cred America, Elsief he asked. paul
says be did,
why. yes, sir. ! opposed everybody
knew that" said Elsie. Queen lisa.
bella sold all her jewels 20 build him
three ships, and when he got here be
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27
q orew q Die Garden.

Last week n Of your friends
brought In an odd little bust, the head
II a laughing boy. 1t was beautifully
saryed end colored a rich brown.
II don't believe there's q boy or girl
n Chicago" he said. "who can tell
what this bust Is made OF. And, what
$ more, there aren't many grown peo-
,ie who could guess"
1t wasn't wood-the bust was too
Aeavy-nor ivory. nor bronze, nor put
", nor clay, Ror plaster Of paris, nor
marble. What was It, then?
Why, nothing but potato. although
inc would hardly believe that 50 beauti-
nj an object could be made from q
lonely, everyday Irish potato.
Some Of our boys and girls who are
.lever with their jack-kniyes would
AXE to know. perhaps, how to prepare
potatoes for carving. No doubt some
Il you could do some very pretty work
With them.
Choose a potato which IS perfectly
sound and not at all bruised or wither-
d. Do mot peel It, but wash It In a
weak solution Of sulphuric acid until
luite clean. A druggist will psepaye
he mixture for you. Boil the potato A
ne solution until dense and solid. Take
i ont, wash 1t in tepid water. removing
Ill traces of the acid. Then dry It In q
warm place. When free from all
moisture 1t will be found to resemble
ivory in appearance, and can be carved
Is desired, or It will take any dye.
why not try potato ivorys
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

n 4 cheaper % Ro with the alFlz
than with che beys and 9 heep nloss
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27
We wish girls were politicians: poll
b-ians always squeeze a mans hand.


Dent Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life
Away.
II you want to quit tobacco using easily and
strong, magnetic, full of new life and yigor,
take No-To-Bac, the wonder worker that
makes weak men strong. Many gain ten
No-To-Bac from your own druggist. Under
absolute guarantee to cure. Book and sample
free. Address sterling Remedy Co., Chicago
or New York
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-27

Ripans Tabules are sold by drusRtses, or by neit
II the price go cents q box) Is sent 70 fho kipnas
Chemical Company, No. 10 spruce st., New York.
Sample vial 10 cents.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-11-19

trunk and gave it sudden pull. The
cnragcd hippopotamus lifted its pon-
derous head clear of the water and
sncrted and blew, but every time he
rose to take breath the elephant would
recommence his antics. Around ard
around the beast would go, keeping
sharp lookout for the little ears of
the hippopotamus, which he would
seize the moment they appeared. His
evident delight in teasing his huge
neighbor was very comical, and there
could be no doubt that he thoroughly
enjoyed it.
Again, one day, the keeper placed
some food for the hippopotamus in a
corner of the inclosure and at once
the hippopotamus began TO leave the
water to get it, but the elephant slowly
ambled to the same corner, and, arriy-
ing there first, he placed his four feet
over the favorite food in such a way
that the hippopotamus could not get
at it, gently swayed his trunk back and
forth, and acted altogether as though
he were there quite accidentally, until
The garden was thrown open TO the
public and he went forward TO receive
the daily contributions Of bread, cake,
pie, etc, which were always offered him
by his host of admirers.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-11-19
THE PORTLAND VASE.
A Masterpiece That Long Puzzled tho
Antiquarians of Europe.

A Masterpiece That Long Puzzled tho
Antiquarians of Europe.
The Workmanship of the vase and the
material of which it is composed long
exercised the ingenuity of some of the
greatest antiquarians in Europe.
Breval believed it to be chalcedony;
Bartoli, Montfaucon and others, ,sar-
doniX; Count Fezi, amethyst; DE la
Chause and Nilsson, agate, while Venut-
ii decided that it was paste. Wedge
woods examination Of the vase proved
the last opinion to be the correct one.
A layer of white glass had been fused
on dark blue body, the exquisite fig
ures being afterward produced in this
layer by cutting down to the blue by
the gem engraver, after the manner of
real canoes. Wedgewood also discov-
cred that the vase had at some time
been broken and repaired. 1t was his
opinion that the head which formed the
bottom of the vase was piece of some
other work that had been cut down and
inserted in the place of the original bot
tom, which had probably been de-
stroyed at the time the vase itself was
broken.
BY the autumn of 1889 Wedgewood,
after many failures, had succeeded in
his arduous undertaking, and the frs.
perfect copy, made in the famous jas
per ware, was finished. Several more
copies were subsequently made, though
the exact number does not seem at all
certain These were of various de-
grees of perfection and varied in size
and color. Originally sold at from 80
to so guineas each, according to ex-
cellence of finish, time has, of course,
considerably enhanced their value, and
some years ago, at the sale of the Mar
tineau collection, one sold for G294.
In 1910 the duke of Portland placed
the vase in the British museum, where
some 35 years afterward it was wanton-
ly broken to atoms by a drunken Wis
itor. After being skillfully repaired,
it was placed for additional safety with
the gems.
Authorities are by no means agreed
as to the subject of the bas-relief,
though various explanations have been
offered. According to the museum cata-
logue, the composition represents on
the diverse, Thetis consenting to be
the bride of Peleus in the presence of
Poseidon and Eros; on the reverse,
Peleus and Thetis on Mount Pelion, and
on the bottom of the vase (ncw de-
tachedJ youthful bust of Paris Good
Words
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-11-19
DAY DREAMS.

The children played, in the cool morn air.
At what they would like to be:
They posed as lords and as ladies fair,
And folks of a high degree
For life looks fair at the break of day,
With little of work and mucn of play,
And all is possible--so they say
When the heart, when the heart is young.
The morning changed to the heat of noon.
And then to the twilight chill:
The children wearied of high life soon,
Ana quarreled, as children will.
But they ran away home in the fading
light,
To sob out their wrongs ere they said good
night.
And the mother. the mother made all
things right,
For their hearts. oh, their hearts were
young.
And we need not sorrow, as years roll on,
II the hopes that have ceased to be
But bring us. when passion and youth are
gone,
To the truth at the Fathers knee:
Who husheth us up, when our prayers are
said,
Forgetful of sorrow. in restful bed.
no awaken again when the night has fled,
Where the heart will be always young.
Lily Oakley, in Pail Mall Magazine.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-11-19
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

1t is a matter of interest in religious
circles that Liliuokalani, former queen
of Hawaii, has been baptized and con-
firmed by Bishop Willis.
Misses MacGregor and Geddes, Of
the University of Edinburg, have re-
Gently received the degree of M. A.
from that college. This is new de-
parture for Scotch university.
Prof. Andrew Seth, who holds the
chair of philosophy in the University of
Ettnburg, once held by Sir William
Hamilton, is now in this country, and
is the guest of President Schurman, OF
Cornell university.
There seems to he a prospect now
that the disgracefully crowded condi-
ton of the New York city schools will
be relieved. Superintendent Jasper has
recommended the erection of is new
buildings, and it is thought that this
will provide ample room for the pres
ent.
DR.. George Henry Emmott, pro-
fessor of Roman law and comparative
jurisprudence in Johns Hopkins uni
NSiSioy, has IcSiSnSu Ills Shail III oTuSE
that he may accept an appointment to a
chair of law in University College Of
Liverpool, which is associated with Vic
toria university. The trustees have
passed a resolution recognizing his selv-
ices to Johns Hopkins university.
President Jordan, of the Leland
Stanford university, who has been mem
toned for the assistant secretaryship Of
the Smithsonian Institution, TO succeed
the late Prof. Goode, lis" says the Ball
timore American, lone of the best
known naturalists in America, and it
appears to be conceded that n natural
list will be chosen, although an ethnolo-
gist is among those mentioned for the
Mace = - -
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-11-19
Hov Fripbtens Policemen.

A small boy got into the habit of fy
ing his kite nightly from the roof Of a
police station in New York city. I'M
Known to the guardians of the peace.
They heard his footsteps, but, strange
TO say, when they went to investigate
they never found anyone. Then ter
ror took possession of the police force
at the station, and they declared that
ghost was haunting them. At
length one, Drawer than the others,
lay in wait and captured the little fell
low. He was then hauled before n
magistrate, who, after hearing the
case, discharged him with a reprimand
10 the effect that it was very wrong
to brighten policemen.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-11-19
UMBRELLA CARRIERS.

the train, ard saw the saubas, as these
ants are called, pouring into it, each
holding the umbrella, which was about
as large rs q ten-cent piece, vertically,
resembling soldiers raising banners.
"There were three kinds of ants,
Those who carried the leaves were Ia
horers, but not workers, as they mere
" deposited the bit of leaf in the nest.
where it was taken finland by another
kind OF ant, the skilled carpenters of
the tribe, who placed the leaves on the
wall, as matching, and covered them
with globules of earth. Some of the
nests built in this way are two feet
nigh, and three or four feet in diameter
--marvcls of constructive ability"
Among the marine animals ere many
that construct over and above them-
selves coverings which might not inapt
ly be termed umbrellas. This is par
iicularly noticeable in the sea anem-
ones. At times they are free and
uncncumbered with foreign objects;
at others they are completely covered
with plates Of sand, which they taks
from the ground about them, or bits or
seaweed, which form more or less pro-
lection or covering.
When the anemones desire to assume
these countless umbrellas, they bend
over their tentacles and touch the
ground, many bits of shell and sand adj
herring. These are lifted up and placed
upon the sides of the creature until i
finally appears to be covered with
mosaic, which, whilea protection, serves
Gs a disguise, making the otherwise
conspicuous animal resemble the rocks
about it.
BY far the most interesting animal
posse ssing this habit is the sea urchin
that looks like pin cushion, being COW
cred with long or short bristles, accord
ing to the species. How the sea ur-
chin, with it's stiff spines, can lit
scores Of minute stones and bits of shell,
distributing them over it's body in such
number that collectively they form an
umbrclla-like covering, would appear
mystery, which, however, Ii solved
upon an examination OF the rchin.
The spines are not the only organs, but
from among them rise two suckers.
with little disks attached to them, and
other organs that have long stalks upor
the end or top OF which is perched n
little feeler with three biting teeth.
These feelers, stationed on the lower
part Of the urchin, pick up particles OF
shelf and sand, and pass them TO others
higher up, and so, by continued pass
ing, the piece OF shell travels up to the
dome Of the animal, and there finds
place among the spines. This is repeat.
ed an indefinite number of times, un-
til the urchin is completely covered by
n strong umbrella, poised, Us it were.
upon the spines, affording more or less
protection. Sometimes the animal
disdains one of she'll or stone, and
spreads over itself a canopy of weed,
a ribbon of green zostera, or one of
brighter hue, decoration more or less
esthetic.--C. Il. Holder, in Chicago IN
ter Ocean.