davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
Au,udru,1s department.

ONE ON INGERsoLL.-Judge Ewing
tells good story on Bob Ingersoll, re-
counting one of the few instances in
which the noted orator was beset by q
man in the crowd listening to him.
The judge says the colonel has given
the story twist and now relates it as
if it happened to a Democratic orator
instead of himself. Colonel Ingersoll
so runs the story, was making politi'
cal speech, and for half an hour he
had been scoring the Democrats at
terrific rate. After he had finished
his diatribe, he asked: SIS there a
Democrat in this whole audience? II
there is I would like him to stand up
and tell the audience how he feels"
A gray haired old man stood up in
the crowd and Colonel Ingersol]
turned on him.
$50 you're a Democrat, are you p
asked Bob. "Well, now, just tell the
audience how you feel. Just describe
YOUR sensations. I want this great
crowd to know what you feel like"
A deathlike stiffness fell upon the
crowd and the old. man replied in a
loud, piercing voice that could be
heard all over the house: 81 feel like
sound hazlenut in bushel of beans !'
A roar of laughter went up from the
crowd, and for once the colonel was
not ready with very good response.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

THE LAST WoRD.-It was in sleep
ing car and they thought that every
one else was asleep. Probably every
one had been, but they woke me.
When I was enough awake to notice
what was going on I heard her:
"Well, I don't care. I think you're
real mean. All want"
eyes," broke in he, "all you want
now is the last word, same as you al
ways have, amt it?"
eyes, and I'll have it, too," spite,
fully.
"You WON'T"
"See if I DON'T"
GAIL right !"
Gail right it is."
"Have to mock every word I say,
don't you?"
"Heavens, no! You never say any
thing worth repeating"
"Why do you echo me, then?"
III don't~
"You do"
"I don'tp
"Shut upw
"I won'tW
"Ugh !" And there was noise like
a man tumbling into his berth.
Then we heard, rather softly, as il
talking to herself: "I said I'D have
the last word, and did. ugh don't
count, cause 1 don't believe it is a
word"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
HE HAD IT In HIS POCKET

He HAD IT In HIS PoCKET.-"A
misunderstanding as to the meaning
of q word sometimes leads to peculiar
situations" said Rev. A. L. Smith OF
Chicago, at the Arlington, to Wash
ington Star writer. "In company with
several other ministers I was riding in
stage or hack, which served the pur-
pose of a stage, en- route to campmeet-
ing. The road wound among the
mountains, and the air was delightful,
while the scenery was almost sublime.
I was invigorated as though by a pow
erful tonic, and several times remark
ed Npon the ozone in the air.
CATER one of these observations the
driver stopped the horse, and, beck
oning to me slyly, climbed from the
seat. Wondering what he could want,
1 followed him, and soon we were
behind a large tree, out of view of the
wagon.
'Parson," said the driver, Il
couldn't bear to see you suffer. The
ozone you smelled was in my pocket
"With these words he drew forth a
large bottle of whisky, which he Of
fered to me. 1t took several minutes
to convince him that it was not whis-
ky I had referred to as ozone."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

For WHAT HE Is WoRTH.-A trav.
eler in Tennessee, noticing a large
number of people following a wagon,
rode up to an old fellow, who sat on
the fence, and asked the cause Of
such large procession.
"W'y, they air takin' Sam Bates out
ter the graveyard"
"He must have been very popular
man."
"Wall, I should reckon he was"
"Held high position, / suppose"
"Stood at the top"
"What was his business ?"
"Chopped cod wood fur living,
believe"
"What do people in this section pay
so much attention to wood choppers p
"Look yare, my friend, Sam was the
handiest man with fiddle there wuz
in this neighborhood. He could jest
nachully make a fiddle cluck like q
hen. I don't know how it is whar you
come frum, but in this here communi,
ty we don't pay no attention ter whut
a man does fur er livin', but we meas.
ure him fur whut he is wuth tel
society,""
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

a@ DIR. Aird, the venerable modera'
tor of the Free Church of Scotland,
tells good story about minister
who, in the old days of patronage, was
forced upon congregation at Alness.
The minister was coldly received, as
may be imagined; but he began to
visit the people, and one day called
upon an elder, who greeted him very
gruffly. The minister, however, took
a chair, and in little while took out
his snutf-box. "Oh," said the elder,
rye tax snuff, dae ye? ?" 30 yes"
"Weel," said the elder, "that's the
first mark O. grace I've seen in ye."
"How do you make that out ?" asked
the minister. "Dae We no read O. Sol
omon's temple" replied the elder,
"that the snuffers were of pure gold ?''
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
THREE BIG PREMIUMS.

This year we offer three big premiums. One
is O SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR BUGGY.
Another is SEVENTY-FlVE DOLLAR OR.
GAN. and the third is o FIFTY DOLLAR
WAGON. The Buggy will go to the clubmaker
who gets up the largest list Of subscribers, new
and old. The Wagon will 60 to the clubmaker
who gets up the second largest list, new and
old and the Organ will 60 to the clubmaker
number Of NEW NAMES. The organ contest,
however, will be separate and distinct from
the other contest, in that the winner OF this
premium will still have the right to count his
entire club, including both old and new
names, in the contest for the Buggy or Wagon.
TO be more explicit. 1t Is possible that the
clubmaker who gets the Organ, may also be
the winner Of either the Wagon or the Buggy.
with less than 20 names, together with one
of the smaller premiums,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

B6 No one can ask honestly and
hopefully to be delivered from temp
tation unless be has himself honestly
and firmly determined to do the best
he can to keep out of it.
aHr Of all the dark traits that dis
figure the human race, that of wishing
to belittle or degrade the character Of
another is the lowest.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

H~ A story is told of the wellknown
Irish priest, Father Mcguire. A far
mer, it seems, once asked his reverence
what miracle was. "Well," replied
Father Mcguire, "walk on before me,
and I'll see what I can do for you"
The farmer complied, and as he did so
the priest gave him we'll aimed kick
that made him howl with pain. "Did
you feel that ?" inquired his reverence.
"Begorrah, I felt it sure enough"
"Well," Father Mcguire replied, "it
would be miracle if you didn't"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
To Each New Subscriber.

The same as above except that II the paper
is COMMENCED NOW, IT WILL BE SENT
UNTIL JANUARY l. 1893, without any
charge for that portion Of the time between
now and January /, 1897. 1t Is understood,
however, that II the subscriber fails to pay
the clubmaker the subscription price, he will
be due him for all papers that he may have
received.
names were not on OUR BOOKS ON OCTO-
BER LIST, 1896, except we will not count as
new subscribers, cases where the subscription
may have been changed from the name Of one
member OF family to another. This Is in
tended emphatically to mean new additions to
our subscr1ption list.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
Note the Conditions.

TWO SIX MONTHS SUBSCRIBERS at 81
each, will be considered the equivalent OF one
yearly subscriber ut sl.75 and so counted. A
subscription paid for two or more years in ad-
vance at sl.75, will be counted as one name for
each year so paid.
Ciubmakers will be held personally respon-
them. Amer q clubmaker has returned and
paid for any name, he can, at anytime there
after, discontinue the sending OF the paper to
the person for whom he has paid, and trans
fer the unexpired time to any other person.
desired was not O subscriber at the time the
original name was entered on our books.
No name will be counted In competition for
q premium until the subscription price has
been paid nor will any premium be delivered
until satisfactory settlement has been made
for ali names returned by the clubmaker -,
Persons who commence making clubs will
not be permitted to transfer their club to an
other clubmaker's list after the names have
been entered on our books.
It is not necessary that the names on club
should all be at the same postomce. Names
may be taken at any number OF places.
Ciubmakers are requested to send In names
as rapidly as they secure them after Novem-
All subscriptions must be forwarded to US at
the Of those TeRdng e
sion Of money only when sent by draft, regis
tered letter or money order drawn on the
Yorkville postoff1ce.
In sending names, write plainly, and give
postoffice, county and state.
All subscriptions will be discontinued at the
expiration of the time paid for.
A separate list will be kept for each club
maker, who will be credited with each name
sent, SO that the number sent by any one per
SON may be ascertained at a moments notice
In case OF q tie for either premium, two
weeks will be allowed in which to .'untie"
The time In which names may be returned
under our propositions will commence now,
lst tlay of November, 1896, and expire at
o'clock, p. m, on Wednesday, the 10th day
of March, 1897.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
READ CAREFULLY and

DETWEEN this date and the MIDDLE OF
% MARCH, 1t Is usual for the people Of this
section TO select their reading matter for the
following year; Being one Of the cleanest,
the state, 1t is natural, therefore. that THE
YORKV1LLE ENQUIRER should also be
one Of the most popular. Ninety per cent. Of
the families in the county desire 1t as regu-
lar visitor to their homes, and all those who
can afford 1t, may reasonably be looked upon
as probable subscribers. One Of the most Sc
rious drawbacks, probably, is the inconven.
ience OF writing letters, sending money and
attending to the matter Of subscribing at the
proper time. It is this fact that makes 1t es-
pecfally desirable for US, just at this time, TO
secure the services Of large number OF intel
ligent and energetic assistants, and to make 1t
worth their while to give the matter their
attention, we are making the liberal offers
which we will presently explain.
The price Of single subscription one year
Is TWO DOLLARS. This is to the individual
who does not give his name to O clubmaker (;
but sends 1t direct to this office. In clubs,
however the price Is only ONE DOLLAR
AND SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS. That Is the
price which the subscriber pays the clubmaker,
and the price which, under all circumstances,
he Is expected to pay us. Now to our propo-
sitiOns:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

immediate restoration of the free and
unlimited coinage of gold and, silver
at the present legal ratio of 16 to l.,
without waiting for the aid or consent
of any other nation.
"W. J. BRYAN"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

H| "It always depresses me dread
fully to meet a bicycle scorcher." "
"Why SOP" 81 hate to see mans
legs work so much better than his
brains."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
BROTHER BILL.

A BOUT year ago we stated in our
II advertisement that we had engaged
shop. We were disappointed. We thought
he was coming. but another fellow got
him. We are pleased to announce that he
will be with us after next Monday and
will be pleased to operate OH you phaeton,
surrey, carriage, buggy, wagon or any
other vehicle you may own that needs the
attention of q skilled artist in wood.
Brother Bill sure knows his profession.
Tom Walker is our metal artist and Is
the best on horse and mule footwear Of
which we have any knowledge. Bring us
your repair work, and let us do your
horse and mule sboeing.
CICERO MOORE.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
s75,OO LA BELLE" ORGAN.

For the largest club Of NEW SUBSCRIBERS
we will give one WILCOX & WHITE Or
GAN, known as ia Belle" and worth $500:
This is the same instrument that is being SOLD
by Mr.. GEO. T. ScHoRB, and which is giving
such perfect satisfaction to all who have pur-
chased 1t. It has five octaves, two complete
sets of reeds and octave couplers, and nine
stops. The case is Of black walnut, ornament
ed with bevel plate mirror, and in tone, work
manship and durability, the instrument Is
equal to any reed organ ever sold on this mar
ket. With the organ will go q handsome
stool, for which there will be no charge.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
CENTRAL TIME STANDARD.

Trains Nos. and 10 are first class, and
run daily except Sunday. Trains Nos.
60 and 81 carry passengers and also run
daily except Sunday. There is good con-
nection at Chester with the G.. G. & N.
and the c. c. e. A., also L & c. R. r.; at
Gastonia with the A. & G. A. L.; at Lin.
colnton with C. c.. and at Hickory and
Newton with w. N. G.
CIV. F. Harper, Receiver,
Lenoir, N. G.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
BIG PAy'''L!!TTLE WORK.
HERE ARE SOME LIBERAL
OFFERS TO CLUBMAKERS.
YorkVi[le:Enquiirer
FOR 1897.
Valuable Premiums to Be Given to Those
Who Send in and Pay for Names.
BUGGY, 2-HORsE WAGON, ORGAN, ETC.
Special Inducements For Clubmakers to
Get New Subscribers and Special
Inducements for New Sub.
scriberS to Subscribe.
GO TO WORK TODAY.
F0r 20 and Less Than 10

GO TO WORK TODAY.
For 30 and Less Than 40
SUBSCRIBERS, choice Of the following, each
7-JEWELED WATCH In dust proof case lax
S9zP GzFN EILhEP %ATGH GRAS AAtE
or or an an EXTRA FINE ACCoRDEoN.
For 20 and Less Than 80
TOHARP, valued at $3.50; or THE ENQUIR-
Err and any monthly magazine or weekly
newspaper published In the United States, for
one year.
For 10 and Less Than 20
SUBSCRIBERS, a CONCAvE WARRANT
ED RAZOR, SILVER PLATED GRAVY La
POCKET KNIFE, with name and address
on the handle. Any Of the articles mentioned
would be bargain at 81.
For 6 and Less Than 10
SUBSCRIBERS, an extra quality THREE
BLADED POCKET KNIFE, GENUINE
!, YER PLATED TABLE SET. Good values at
For 3 and Less Than 6
SUBSCRIBERS, "siren" pattern BUTTER
KNIFE, or 2-BLADED POCKET KNIFE,
with name and address on the handle.
And to Each Old Subscriber,
THE YoRKvILLE ENoUIRKR-TWICEcA-
WEEK-flled with bright, fresh news from
the COUNTY, STATE, NATION AND
WORLD, interesting stories, instructive mis-
cellaneous matters, and humorous selections,
explanatory editorials, etc. The paper will be
held up to its present high standard, and will
continue prompt, explicit, reliable, and, in
short the best.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
FULL PREMIUM LIST.

But this Is not all. In addition to the pre-
miums offered for the LARGEST AND SEC
OND LARGEST CLUBS, and the largest club
Of NEW SUBSCRIBERS, we also offer other
valuable premiums for a given number OF sub
scribers This, 1t will be seen, ensures that the
clubmaker who starts out for one OF the larger
clubs and falls short, will not fail to be paid
for his time and trouble. Here is the list in
full followed by the conditions below:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
$500 BUGGY.

To the clubmaker who returns the largest
number of names. will be awarded the BEST
BUGGY manufactured by the CAROLINA BUG
GY COMPANY of Yorkyille, 8. c., for $500.
mnnufa ctIred to order at the option of the
f,1l GInhInaHar
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
$4,000 WAGON.

To the clubmaker who returns the second
largest number of names will be awarded o
WHTTE v. arr HICKORY TWO HORSE WAGON,
valued Mt $50. The wagon Is the equal In
every respect Of any other to be bought at the
nrice named.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11

TNIME TABLE of the Ohio River anC
effect Monday, June l, 1896, a7.40 a. m.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-09-21
Landlords Sale.

Public notice Is hereby given that the UNI
dersigned Kapiolani has distrained and levied
upon the following goods and cha'tels, the
property of &, Hawkins, for rent due by the
said G. Hawkins to the said kapiolani, and
in arrcar to the amount of four hundred and
seyenty-hye dollars tS+7500) Tor rent of GER
tain premises situate on King street, Homo
lulu, Oahu, TO witt
Household goods, consisting OF retrlgera-
tors, gasoline oil and wood stoves, book
cases, stained bedsteads, pine, iron, walnut
and koa bedsteads, tables, writing desks,
office desks, rocking chairs, Japanese cabi-
net, water coolers, koa sideboard, wash
stands, carpets, wire springs, wash bowls,
cushions straw mattresses, lamps, spring
mattresses, straw, wool and feather pillows,
hair mattresses, portiers, hat racks, chairs,
mirrors, bureaus. Also, carpenters tools
consisting of squares, wrenchcs, hammer,
nipper, chsels, saws, augers, AIDES. Also,
backsmiths, cOopers and farriers' tools.
Also, lot of jcwelry consisting Of clocks,
watches, scarf pins, chains, earrings, cuh
buttons, coins, silver creeps, Also,
lot of musical Instruments, consisting
of banjos, drums, violins, bows, etc; also lot
of clothing, shoes, blankets, etc; also lot OF
miscellaneous articles consisting OF poi
Founders, wire dress frames, carruge springs,
ice saws, Shoycls, books, piano stools, qua
drant, pArlor rifle, reVOlvers, canes, saddles,
charts, bows and arrows, tin tubs, photo
graphs, shot pouches and powder TASKS,
brackets, curios, curtain poles, baby carriage,
coral, hair, dumbbells, Indian clubs. blings,
bird cages, glassware, sewing machine, the
whole constituting the entire stock OF sec.
ond hand goods lately in the store of the said
Hawkins at the corner of King and Alakca
streets. And notice is further given that said
goods and chattels will he sold at public
auction at the auction room of jas + Nor.
gan. on Queen street, Honolulu, IL !, on
THURSDAY, October LIST, 1896, at 10 O'Clock
q M to satisfy the rent due and in arrear rs
aforesaid on the above described,
KAPIOLANI,
BY her attorneys, Alfred Magoon " W S
Edings. 4OS-l5t
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-09-21
A New Abstract Office.

As result of Is years expert
ence in the Abstract Business, L
am prepared to make Abstracts of
Title in a most thorough, accurate
and complete manner, and on
short notice.
+. w. MAKINNEY.
In w. o. Smiths Office, 3l8
Fort Street. 2l5-d
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-09-21
he Sure You Are Right

And then go right ahead, If your blood Is
impure, your appetite falling, your nerves
weak. you may be sure that Hoods Sarsapar-
liza is what you need Then take no substi-
ute. Insist upon Hoods and only Hoods.
This is the medicine which has the largest
sales in the world. Hoods Sarsaparilla Is
the One True Blood Purifier.
HOOPS Pills are prompt, efficient, always
eliable, easy to take, easy to operate.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-09-21

The Erening Bulletin, rs cents
per month.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-09-21

Singers lead the world. Over
100000 made and sold. High
est awards at the Worlds Colum-
bian Exposition for excellence of
construction, regularity of motion,
ease of motion, great speed, adj
Instability, durability, ease of
learning and convenience OF ar
rangement. B. Bergersen, agent,
King and Bethel streets.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1896-08-01
Boat Race.

A grand boat race will take place
at Cedar View, DIETER known as Buz-
card Hill, on August 10Th, 1896.
First race, at II o'clock, a. m, for
all bateaux Is feet and under.
Second race, at 2 clock, p. NJ, free
for all.
Premium for the 16 TT, race an ele
CANT mantel clock. The second prem
ium in free for all, an elegant silver
pitcher.
Race committee and judges-H. c.
Walker, Pungoteague; W. F. Waters,
Nandua; Capt. A. J. Reade, Harbor
ton; Capt. Benz. Davis, Davis wharf;
Capt. +. j. Smith, Wachapreague.
Dinner and refreshments of all
kinds will be served in abundance On
the occasion.
The racing will be interesting, as
many fast sailing boats will be on
hand.
COMMITTEE.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1896-08-01
Church Notes.

A grove meeting will be held at
Grant Memorial Church, beginning
August 23d.
Rev. d. J. Givan will preach from
paintings at Crowson's next Sunday
afternoon and at Parksley at night.
Rev. G. E. B. Smith, of Wacha-
prague, will exchange pulpits with
Rev. Jos. R. Griffith, of Pungoteague,
next Sunday, August I'd.
Rev. A. J. Walter of the NJ. P.
Church, Reliance, Md, will preach
at Parksley NJ: P. Church, Sunday
evening, August Cd, s p. IN, and at
Grant Memorial Sunday afternoon, 3
o'clock, August 9th.
The home Camp or Tent meeting
at Chesconnessix, east side, has
opened glorously. Five converts and
large number for prayers. Tent
will accommodate $50 or more. Elk.
pected to continue another week.
A protracted meeting will begin
with the Drummondtown Baptist
Church the third Sunday night in
August. DR.. T. S. Dunaway, of
Fredericksburg, will do the preaching.
He is President of the Baptist Gener-
al Association Of Virginia, and has
the reputation of being one of the
leading preachers in-the Baptist de
nomination in this State.
A Baptist camp-meeting will be
held on Sykes Island, beginning the
Cd Sunday in August. Ministers of
all evangelical denominations are
cordially invited to attend. Arrange
ments will be made to take care of
the ministers free. A large tent
seating some 1900 will be erected, and
the audience can be comfortably
seated. The preaching will be done
by we'll known and leading minis
IN,
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1896-08-01
Personals.

Miss Lilly Parks, of Parksley, is at
Grangeville, on visit to Miss Zilla
Mapp.
Mr.. L. A. Belote, of Northampton,
visited his mother and sisters at Only,
this week.
Mr.. Burk Hill, of Girdletree, Md,
made visit to his brother, Fred
Hill, at Onley. this week.
Mr.. Geo. w. Mock and family have
moved from Taneicr Island to Grange
vile, their future home.
Miss Sarah A. White, the guest of
Miss Carrie Belote, Only, for several
days of late, returned this week to
Mappsville.
Mr.. t. T. Wescott and family, of
Washington, arrived at their home,
near Keller, this week, to spend their
summer vacation.
Mrs. John w. Duncan and daugh-
ter, Miss Marye Carlisle Duncan, of
Onancock, are sojourning at Atlantic
Hotel, Chincoteague, for few weeks.
Mrs. Major J. l.. Tiernon, of Fort
Monroe, Va, is spending few weeks
with her sister, Mrs. DIR. E. S. Hay
ward, Harborton, accompanied by
her son, J. L. Tiernon, Jr., of Buffa-
10. n. Y, and daughter, Mrs. Lieut..
G. L. Phillips, of Fort Monroe, and
grand daughter, Gala Phillips.