davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly independent. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1895-1897, 1896-02-05

The object Of the manufacturers of Dobbins' Electric
Soap has been for 81 years Ia make this sOap of such
suyeyior qHaity that IL will give UHirers0i %s0tisTdc-
nOn. Have they succeeded Ask your grocer for IT,
Take no other.
Semi-weekly independent. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1895-1897, 1896-02-05

Mrs. Winslow's SOOTHING SYRUP for Children
%teething: softens the gums, reouces
sllays pain. cures wind collie. . cents q bottle.
Semi-weekly independent. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1895-1897, 1896-02-05

Behind the shadow there is always
Il light.
Semi-weekly independent. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1895-1897, 1896-02-05

~ A. W. GLEASON.
SEAL Notary Public.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
NOT A NEW" AFTER ALL.
LamcntS of Woman who Was Dh
appointed in the Hioomers.

Lamcnt- of n Woman who Was Dis
appointed In the Bioomers.
She was in tears.
"irs a terrible blow" she said. II don't
know that ] shall ever recover from the
shock"
What's the natter" lie asked.
My boomers she sobbcd-
He laughed with masculine heartlessness.
'Havc You just found out that they don't t
fit?" he inquired.
They're not meant to fit" she replied
between her sobS, land that's not it at all.
They're not new"
Not newt he exclaimed. HAS some
cODscienceless bloomer maker dared to i'm
pose upon you by giving you
Its not the makers fault" she inter.
rupted.
He began TO he puzzled.
You don mean to say that you accepted
them, kBo wing that they were only
MOI ino.nO.' she cried. ''Youdon' tunder-
stand. wanted TO be a new woman, and
wear the ne W costume for women, and they
told me- tlIat bioomers were up to date"
..weli?-
Wei, they're not. They're old: old as
civilization; no one knows how old they
are
Not bloomersi'' he exclaimed.
Yes, bIoomers,'' she asserted. Just
look at these pictures of the Esquimau
women"
He looked and saw that she was right
Chicago Post.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
ONE SHE COULD GET.
The Way One Girl said the Husb"hd
Question WIS Settled
Chicago Post

SutSstph u'
Chicago Post.
The girl In bmc threw down the paper
10 disgust.
I'm tired of ali this nonsense about
wh, 10 marry and who moi TO marry"
she exclaimed.
..Irs a very important question" SAID
the girl in gray. with a doubtful shake
OF her head.
.of course il is" admitted the girl III
,lue, ..but of what earthly use is carload
of printed advice"
"One cannot he too careful" suggested
the girl in gray Its too late for regret
afterward.''
"Not these days" retorted the girl in
hin. quickly. However. that doesn',
cut any figure in the question OF ihcse
printed rules
..Do YOU think yon are capable Of making
q proper selecticn-'' Inquired the girl In
gray.
..Cer,ainly.. Practically all the girls
eyer knew decided for themselves, and 1
guess | can do il as well as they can. You
can't tell anything about man before
marriage anyway
"Do you know how they reached de-
cision?'
"Or course l do
How"
well. in nearly every case the girl just
married the man she could get. It's fool
ish TO make such II fuss about deciding i
little question like that
Perhaps, after ALL" said the girl In
gray, ,houghtruily. that is the way il is
usually decided"
The morning times., 1896-02-02
HOrSe and Horse.

The other day two cross-eyed men were
riding bicycles down Broad street when sud-
denly a collision occurred. Then one OF the
men angrily said:
why don't you look where you're 60
ing"
As quick as a flash the other, noticing
the formers defect OF vision, replied:
why don't You go where you're look
ing"
And the reply being so apt both noun ted
their wheels and rode Off smiling
delphia Call.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
The Front Row Can stand II

Editor-Your narrative is too hald.
Author-yery well. will introduce some
hair-raising incidents.-Detroit Tribune.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Chim man a nd the Plane

A Chinaman, lately returned from n trip
to Europe, treated his countrymen to the
following description OF the piano: THE
Europeans keep four-legged beast which
they can make sing at will. A man, or
more frequently a woman, or even a feeble
girl, sits down in front OF the animal and
steps on his tail, while at the same time
striking its white teeth with his or her
fingers, when the creature begins to sing.
The singing, though much louder than a
bird, is pleasant TO listen to. The beast
docs not bite, nor does it move, though it is
not tied up
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Had to Parade.

Lady uo impecunious workman she is
employing for sweet charity's sake)-I hope
you will come early tomorrow aud finish
this job promptly.
Public Spirited 0ne-Really, mum, that
would be impossible. l should like to
oblige ye, but tomorrow l walks with the
unemplpyed.-London Weekly Telegraph.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
This Boy Has Lots to Learn

The boy hung back when the visitor
spoke to him. and his mother was naturally
annoyed. ~.
Won't you go to Mrs Brown. Wiiiie?"
she sa id. 1851
Don't you like me?rIsskcd Mrs. Brown
good-uaturedly. -
No. replied the boy shortly.
''Why, Wiilier' exclaimed his mother
reproachfuIly. ~
well, guess got licked for not telling
the truth yesterday, nndI amt takin' no
chances today protested the boy.-Chi-
cago Post. ., IT,
The morning times., 1896-02-02
CnutiDuS

Mrs Roorhack tat the church festivalt-
I reckon IN have to ask you TO take the
Widow HugginS, Ike.
AIkali Ike Cautiously Take her whur?
"Out to supper, of course.''
''Oh, all right III take her aRywhur
whur thar is crowd to protect me;
thought you meant take her hoiHe."
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Telephones In Norway,

Norway is the best telephoned country in
the world, in spite OF the fact that 20 per
cent of its area is uncultivable, and another
"a per cent is forest. It has one exchange
for every 7.Sl2 inhabitants and one tele-
phone to each forty inhabitants-eight and
one-half times the number In this country.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
A Gentle Hint

The Pestcred CitiZen-If you don't get
away from here III hit you so hard that
there wont be anything left OF you but
grease spot.
Persistent Peters-Please, mister, I'm too
dry to make no grease spot at all-Ciucin-
natl Enquirer.
The morning times., 1896-02-02

"s.
81
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Sn;pe AS PIE.

Him" said thc managing editor. -'cn
say that MIR. Coins performance left 10
grating edge to mar the rich feast 81
humof."
Yes. SIR
We'll. what do yOu mean 10y il. TEope
you do not mean to iDsinuaie that our IN
observation-disclosures eat their hum A. " ith
a knife?''-IndisRapolis Journal.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Lawyer Beat Himself.

They are telling OF Boston man-but
not Boston type OF nian-who went to his
lawyer and told him TO fix all his property
in his wire's name. and fix 1t so that even
he could not get 1t. When the lawyer
presented his bill he said: II can't pay that
bill, for have not a cent to my name.''-
Fibre and Fabric
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Losers win Beg to Differ

Mr.. Ferry-Greatness is all comparative.
For example. an elephant four feet high
would be called n cute little thing. while
a rat of that size
Mrs. Ferry-Yes. and $25 for bonnet is
an enormous expense, but it isn't any
thing at all when you lose 1t at poker.-Cin-
cinuati Enquirer.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Didn't Know His Biz

''It seems to me-" said the Secretary OF
State to the Chief Executive. That we
haven't got leg to stand upon in this
diplomatic correspondence"
Nonsense" returned the chief. "Give
'em the Monroe doctrine. and I'll chuck
in a message. What are we here for?"-
New York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Renson for Tim nkfuineSs.

II see.'' said Mrs Hashcroft. that they
have passed an ordinance imposing fine
on any one who yells fire in church
"Oh. we'll said the Cheerful Idiot, that
sort of preaching has pretty much gone
uutof date an nyway.' y.''-indianapolisJuu Journal
The morning times., 1896-02-02
.Many "a True Word"

The office i:oy-Der editor is busy; list
drop yer stuff in de slot.
Miss Poscy lthe Sweet Singer OF Sing
Sing Tel me, does he get many poems
The Office Roy tdisgustedlyi-Poem
Way, he's got 'em TO burn.-Judge.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
The Main Thing.

Laura" said the fond mother, 'wnat
are the intentions OF that young man ecu
are permitting to call on you SO orfcn:'
Never mind that. mother" answered the
maiden. II know what my Intentions are."
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Hats Off,
you prowling around

Gabriel-what are you prowling around
here for?
Tom Manny-Takc OF yer halo. The
organiZati ton has had me appointed minis
ter to the Court of ST. Peter.-Exchan.e.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Increasing Proficiency

Ciara-Mr. Softeriy paid me great
compliment yesterday. He sad / grew
more beautiful every day.
Maude-wen, practice makes perfect, you
know Life.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Looked That Way.

Hayrick-Has your son gone in for ath-
letics much at college?
Treetop-Reckon he has; most OF the items
on his expense bills is fer balls and BATS
New York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Those River Towns.

Mistress-i think you win find those pipes
at the hack Of the stove all right Huldah.
What are you trying to d.?
New Domestic from St.LnHiSi-rmlookin
for tiiemud waive. ma am--ChiclgoTribune
The morning times., 1896-02-02
i>ph NprSipu.

well, father exclaimed the prodigai
son, as he made his appearance again at
the family fireside. are you ready 10 KIN
the fatted calf?''
NO" replied the old man. grinily. II
think III let you live
The morning times., 1896-02-02
The Sceptic

Yes. kissed her when she wasn't
expecting anything of the kind
''Lemme see; young man, a young
woman, and nobody about; and the young
woman not expecting to be kissed. Nm.
Ha! Pooh.'-Indianap polls Journal.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
An Easy Solution.

Harold was told to write a sentence con-
tanning the word ''copse." He came from
the city and the word had a familiar sound.
His sentence read: The boy lodged the
copse"-Youth's Companion.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Easily Explained.

Mrs. Hepton-How was it. Bridget, you
were not here the whole of Wednesday
afternoon?
Bridget Brittlcdish-Becos' mum, Wednes-
days me Sunday out.-N. Y World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
what She WINS Doing.

Mistress tcaIline Gpstairsi-whato on earth
are you doing ic that enid. Sarah. 20
make it scream so?
Sarah-Nothing. ma'ap. I'm SPANKING it
to Ipaa u stop. Judge.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Rnfh We're Right

Miss Bety-I think Harry Dunoueh is
just as nice as can lie.
Miss Netuic-wcll, ! think he's horr.d.
Miss Betty-So d" /, hut he can't help
il: he's as nice as lac can be.-Detroit Free
Press.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
lie MnMS.

II wonder" said the Jealous bOarder.
what sort OF a crop could he raised on the
Arctic ice ficlds:''
II hardly know answered Mr.. Asbury
Peppers blandly. but il must be some
thing Nat the Eskimos Exchange
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Ii AlMnys Pnxs

How did your daughter conc TO ge
the duke-''
by advertising
''NoDsc nsel You don't mean to tell ME
you advertised for a husband for your
daughter?''
No. But / advertised MY business
Exchange.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Got a Good Clue.

First De,ectiye-Have you found out any
thing yet?
Second Detective-I've found a man to
whom the victim once sold some suburban
property in New Jersey.-Puck.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
4 GenuIne "Call."

Cumso-What made your brother, the
physician. desert the profession to enter
the ministry?
Bumso-Fuund hc couid preacii better than
he could practice. | guess.-Philadeiphia
Gail.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Absent Minded .

waiter-What shall get for you?
Professor (absent-minded. reading the bill
of farrell am busy now. ask me after
dinner-Fliegende Batter.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
At the Swell Skating Rink.

Maxcnce-Haye you any choice in the mat
ter or skates, Miss Vassar?
Miss yassar-Oh. no; but il it's all the
same TO you, i think that | prefer'one Of the
champagne kind.-New York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Suspicious.

They sat in the dimlighted parlor,
And the old folks thought they behaved,
Till they heard her say to their horror
"Oh. Jackl you ought to get shavedr'
New York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Ought to Re Good

Mr.. Nevergo-I find it very difficult to
get good portrait OF myself.
Miss Yawnieigh-Really, Mr.. Nevergo?
You surprise me. You seem to sit SO stead
ily.-EXchange.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Very Much So.

The trick OF circumstance. no doubt,
is mixed up in life's giddy whiri
They say that boomers aren't good form'
But that depends upon the girl.
New York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Just the Reverse

suteIcigh-Do you treat your servant girl
as one or the family
Helpton-No. She treats me as one OF
her famiiy.-New York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Lack OF Practice, Possibly.

Lack OF Practice, Possibly.
These women chefs" sighed the super.
ANIMATED caterer. pushing the plate away
from him. "ought to stick To politics and
business and let mans work alone. They
can't cvok worth a dern. Chicago Tribune.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
An Ob-erying Young Man

"The difference betwcen street and a
woman" said the Cheerful Idiot TO she as
sembled and up-to-ihat- time happy boaidsrs.
''is that The cross streets are the quietcst. -
-Indianapo Journal.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Cp-to.dnte Confession

Priest Tin confessional We'll, child are
you here for confession?
Bridget Mulcahy twho reads the papers
-Oi have notbin' to Say.-New York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Fee So High .

spencer-Did you feel any pain at all
wlcn you went to that painless dentists?
Ferguson-Only when he presented his
.siH.-Ncw York World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Self Brnfpl.finn.

Weary watkins-wot the dickens you
carryin' that club for nowada IS?
Hungry HiEgins-It's leap year. pardner;
that's why.-Indianapolis Journal.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Not for Her.

Shopnian-we guarantee these stockings
to be fast coiors.
Miss PrimiciGh thorrified,-For heavens
sake, then, show me some Others that are
decent and espectabie!-Exchange.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Some Friendly Counsel

The Republican Congressman who keeps
good control of his verbal appendix on the
tariff and currency questions this winter
will deserve well of his party--Globe Demo-
Crat. ''- .'-'
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Position and sleep.

docs position affect Sleep" asked a
medical writer. II does when the man holds
theposition of night watchman.-TexasS Sift-
ings.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
An Old EayDrife

One of the funny things always to be
seen around photograph gallery is the
picture of a fat old girl dressed as ''Galatea."
-Atchison Globe.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Gothic Marble Heart Instead.

He-My heart is thine.
Shc-What in the worl do you think /
want with a cigarette heart:-Exchange.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Quite So.

Banks-Soak is like haunted house.
Tanks-How so?
Banks-Full of spirits.-N. Y. World.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Owe. HI. Crestn.... TO III. wife.

He boasts that he IS Il selma de man."
''Oh. pshawl Why. sou don't imagine
for moment that he tied thai fonr-in-hand
himself. do you?''-Dc;roit Tribune.
The morning times., 1896-02-02
4. Svmn,,be,,c Creature.

He-Do you think my picture looks like
me?
She (sympatheticaily)-Yes am sorry TO
say it Goes.-Somerville Journal
The morning times., 1896-02-02
Something Internal.

'.Booser is trying TO drown his trouble. "
what is it, dyspepsia" Tri-
bunc.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-09-10

power of an ounce OF colo, ana lowers tns
purchasing power OF wheat and CORE ana
other products Of the farm You ensnr1ne
gold as the one thing to be desired and all
mankind pays tribute 10 the golden calf -
the privilege OF working a little harder In
order to enjoy the worship
All Civilization Interested.
Civilization is wrapped up in the sclu-
ton of the money question. It 10 the main
question involved in this issue. The right
of government and the existence OF re-
publican institutions is involved IN It. II
foreign nations can force financial policy
upon the American people, they viii want
To enforce the system OF government which
is the only system we can maintain syS-
TEN which is monarchicaI system and
which maintains Itself by standing armies.
Even now, nay friends, when we SPEAK
out against unjust legislation, they say We
are disturbers of the public peace and q
menace to law and order. Do you mean
TO say that the farmers gathered here and
the laborers who are congregated In our
cities are enemies to our country! NO
They have earned the epithetS Of our OPP
ponents, not because they menace law and
order, not because they are going to ami
hilate justice, but because they say Thou
shalt not steal shall apply to the great
corporation as well as to the burglar and
hIghWayman. 1t is because they say that
this government was not Instituted In order
that its instrumentaIities should be monop-
olized by those who use the government
for their ownsends and put II in distress
How He Was Converted
81 have simply told you what l believe.
I speak the sentiments that lie deep down
in my heart. used TO be Indifferent TO the
money question. Until six years ago I
thought anybody was a crank who talked
about money. but when got to study the
money question / found that II 0vershad-
owed ali other questions, that IL was deep
er and greater and higher than all other
questions which We had to deal with, and
when read in the address of Mr. Carlisle
that the contamination of this scheme
meant more misery to the human race than
the worst pestilencc that ever occurred ia
the history of the world, began TO realize
the importance of the money question. |
believe Mr.. Carlisle spoke the truth, and 1t
is because believe tnat the gold standard
has made more misery for the human race
than wars and pestilence and famines-
more misery than human mind can con-
ceive or human tongue can tell-it Is be-
cause 1 believe that prophecy, that, ever
since became convinced of IL, have cried
out against the conspiracy and shall cry
out against it as long as God gives ma
the voice to speak.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-09-10
an Enriish View.

The ticket nominated by the national
republican convention at st. Louis will
prove a strong one in a manufacture
ing sections of the east, and in all locali-
ties where the financial question is not
understood. It is, however, essentially
the rich mans ticket. It will nowhere
have strong hold upon the masses of
the people. If elected next November it
must be through the power of money at
the polls. The action of the convention
in adopting the financial plank of the
platform was weak. unpatriotic and inn
polite. It will give the democratic
party the opportunity of century to
ally itself with the interests of the
whole people, while the republican
party must stand as the protector of the
small class of rich men in the money
lending and importing branches of BUSH
ness. The meaningless statement in
the platform that the republican party
fayors bimetallism under an internal
tionaI agreement will deceive no one
Dragging this section into the platform
was cowariIy and insincere. BY the
of Mckinley and Hobart
and the adoption of a gold standard
plank in the platform the republican
party has abandoned the highest and
best interests of the American people,
and its managers will have no just cause
TO complain If the voters of the country
express their indignation at such treat
ment at the polls next November.-Lon.
don Times
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-09-10

an ~ O'Clock. the hour to which the conven-
sAo@ yesterday adjourned. there we're not 80
&@te&1ecS present Senator Palmer, OF Illinois
uEzA& arS9raed IA ovation upon entering
AE n=se Cbazrman Carery announced that
. 14aG apemtzg OF the convention had been de-
Easosf 90 Awais the report OF the committee on
sSzszaEuxzons.
Wade Tire convention further waited Mr.
9<<rszfzaE idGc. & Kentucky, assembled the plat
3wm snd delivered ringing speech
TeaneSsee delegate offered resolution Of
gHxreS AZ the death OF ex-Guv- Russell. Of Mas
zzs<t<zsesas- adopted BY n risiag vote
H. Escrctt. OF Massachusetts took fhs
sz1and az1d ia q touching speech accepted tn,
<<zsakakoa % regret At ex-Gov. RusseIl's death
IuEzgs Savage. OF Kentucky. read telegram
: SEa9 1sEzxe Lindsay. saying II proper plat
Gs<m~as adopted and good men named Bryan
1@aaAz mot carry Kentucky.
.Szn&ze Savage said there was no more chance
~1& FATAm carrying Kentucky than there was Of
eGaC Blessed Master visiting Chicago
Eand&n9 the presentation Of the report o. the
@rmmamEc1sG on resolutions the convention was
sasG<Ee$Sed en- succession BY }. Dewitt Warner.
c. EeW Yort; Frederick Lehman, OF Elsaoa-
~ and EBE- RTnnm. of Indiana
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-09-10
RRYAN'S FELICITY.

The new York Worlds Estimate Nf His
Ability ana Personal MeritS-
The New York World is one Ct the
few papers in the country which, while
opposing the Chicago platform, has had
the Justice to estimate at their proper
worth the ability and personal merits
of Mr.. Bryan.
1t declares that the little speeches
which he has made on his way to New
York show considerable versatility, and
that they have been as happy and grace
full as has been his manner of greet
ing those who assembled at different
points to do him honor.
''They are not repetitions," it says;
s'they are not dull, and they are well
suited to the occasions which call for
them. If they lack the dignity of Nc
Kinley's short speeches and the rare
combination of felicity and seriousness
that marked President Harrison's, they
are still effective for the end he had in
view-the capturing and holding of the
plain people
In this tribute to Bryan as speaker
the World is doing the democratic pres
dental nominee that simple justice
which he has been denied by every
gold standard paper in the country.
Malice, Misrepresentation and vitupera-
ton have been the weapons welded by
these journals ever since his no1nina-
ton. Even in their news columns,
which in all well regulated papers are
supposed to tell the plain, uavarnished
truth with regard to any event in which
the public is interested, SCOTS and false
hoods have taken the place of truth
end fact.
Why the gold standard organs should
adopt such methods it is difficult to see.
Their policy is one which will not re.
feet any credit on the ability or judg-
ment of their editors when the cam
paign has closed. Vituperation and
willful Misrepresentation in the press
never yet injured the prospects of any
candidate for public Office. They will
not injure the candidacy OF Bryan.-At-
lanta Constitution.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-09-10
One Of tho Best Trains to BE Found I'm
the World.

'tIf you will go down to the Union Station
almost any evening now you Will see the
finest mail train in the United States, or
elsewhere for that NATTER said Chief Clerk
p. NJ. Coates of the Railway Mail Service
in charge of the Chicago and Omaha fast
mail. The cars have nearly all been re-
modelled, renovated, and painted anew.
The third set of cars is now inihe Burling-
ton companys shops undergoing treatment.
All the old oil lamps have been removed
and instead the entire train of five cars is
lighted with Pintsch gas. There are seven
lamps of four burners each to each car.
The cars have been furnished with new
trucks, or the old ones taken apart and re-
fitted piece by piece. All the most modern
appliances in the matter of couplings and
air brakes help to give the flyer the best pos
sible equipment of any train extant.
The new fast mail engine No 800, built
especially for service on trains n D. and s,
by which Uncle Sans trains on the "Q.o
between Chicago and ON aha are known, has
been trained into fine service, and others OF
the same pattern will soon be on the rails.
Improvements train now m axes Omaha
In eleven and one-half hours, running 500
miles between a. m. and 2 80 p. m.
Chief Clerk Coates says that he cannot
remember of single instance when Uncle
Sans flyer has been one minute late at the
Union Pacific transfer this year. Chicago
Tribune.