The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1896-12-18
HOW OLSON SQUARED IT.
BY DAN OUIN.

Now I thoroughly saveys." re-
marked the old cattleman, refectively.
ut a crisis in our last conversation when
the talk turned on men of small and
cowardly measure, Il thoroughly
saveys that taste for battle that turks
in the defiles of folks nature like a
wolf in the hills. Which | reckons
now that l, myself, is one of the peace
fullest people who ever beited on a gun;
but in my insincts-while | never icsti-
fies or follows his example, crarly
apprehends the emotions of gent who
convenes with another gent all similar,
an expresses his views of him with
his gun, an Immediately precedes a adj
journment sine die by skelpin' the op-
position. Sech is human nature onre-
strained, an the same, while deplor-
able, is not Surprisin'.
But this yere Olson | has in my
mem'ry don't have no sech manly emo
tions as goes with a gun play. Which
Olson, | takes pleasure in sayin'. is
alien an n rank outsider. an no
more born in this home of freedom
than Mexican. Olson is so cowardIy
he's even furtive; an for a Iow-flung
measly play let me tell you what Olson
does. It's shorely onery.
1T all arises years ago, back in Ten
ncssee, an gets it's first start out of
4 hawg which is owned by Olson an
IS downed by n gent named Hoskins-
Bill IIoskins. It's this way:
Back in Tennessee, in my dream
wrcathed yooth. when anamifes goes
isroicctin' about permiscus. 4 party has
tu build his fences bull strong. hawg
Fight, an boss high or he takes re-
suits. Which Hoskins don't make his
fences to conform to this we're ToOle
none; ieastwise they amt hawg tight
rs is shown by one of Olson's hawgs.
The hawg comes pirootin' about
IIoskins' fence, an ne goes through
easy; an the way that invadin' anamile
'urnS Rill's potatoes bottom up don't
other him bit. He ShoTely loots
.-lI'S lot: that's whatever
''But Bill. perceivin' of Olson's hawg
layin' waste his crop. reaches down -
Hawkins rifle, 30 to the pound, an
stretches the hawg- Which this Is
where Bill falls into error. Layin'
aside them deficiencies in Riu's fence,
it's cl'ar at a glance hawg can't b.
held responsible. Hawgs IS ignorant
and tharforc innocent; an while lIawg=
can he what Doc Poets calls caSus
,cIIi. they can't be regarded as Il foe
legitimate.
Now what Bill oughter done, If he
feels like this yere hawg's done put it
all over him, is to go an lay for Olson.
Scch action by Bill would have been
some excessive. some high, 50 to speak.
but ii would have been line shot.
Whereas KILN the hawgs is way to
one side of the mark. an under
''IIowever. as | states. Rill bcin' hasty
that away. and oncapabIc of perhaps re-
fined reasonin'. downs the pig. an
stands pat. on it, waitin' for Olson to fill
his hand If he feels so moved.
''Now, that's where the cowardly
nature of this yere Olson begins to
shine. He's ugly es n wolf about Bill
copperin' his hawg that away. but he
don't pack the nerve to go after Bill an
make a roundup of them grievances.
An he amt allowin' to pass it up none
onrevenged neither. Now, here's what
Olson does; he 'sassinates Bills pet rae
coon.
That's right, pard; jest massacre
pore, confidin' raccoon, who don't no
more stand in on that hawg killin' of
Sill'S than me an you-don't even adj
wise IL.
Now, / allow you saveys all thar is
to knew about raccoon. No? Well,
a raccoon's like this: In the first place
he's plump ingenious. an amt lool<in'
for no gent to hold out kyards or ring
cold deck on him. That's straight: n
racccon is simple-minded that way; an
1,
Besides bein' nachcraIly thoughtful as
to his own affairs, might say raccoou
is a heap melancholy jest sets thar
an absorbs melancholy from merely
bein' alive.
''Bnt if n raccoon is melancholy or
gets wrapped in thought that away, it's
after all his own play. It's to his credit
that once when he's tanned he's got n
mountainous confidence in men, an
will curl up an go to sleep where you be
an shet both eyes. He's plumb trust
full; an moreover, no matter how
mournful a raccoon feels. or how plumb
melancholy he gets, he don't pester you
with no yarns.
81 reckon | converses with this yere
Identical raccoon of Bits plenty fire.
ouent when he feels blue an again
when he's at his gaiIiest. an he neve'
remarks nothin' to me except p'lite gen
! eral';ies.
''If this Olson had been Il dead gam"
party who regards himsef wronged
| he'd searched out gun, or knife, Oh
| lnebby a club, an pranced over an
rectified Bill a whole lot. But he's toe
tjmid and too cowardly, an afraid oi
| Bill. So to play even he lines out tt
| bushw hack this helpless. oninstFucte'
raccoon. Olson figgers to take adVan
tage of what's cl'arly a loophoie IN
raccoonis constitootion-
.sMebbe YOU never noticed II about