davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

A BITTER ALTERNATIVE
some parts of the Canadian back
country the recurrence of broiled
salmon, boiled salmon, salmon cut.
lets, and salmon steak at every mea
becomes, after a few weeks, a trifie
monotOnous. To the native palate
brought up on it and to the manner
born, this constant temperance OF
the selfsame dish Is matter OF
course; but to the newly arrived
tenderfoOt, or tourist, it grows al
last into a feeble joke.
/" Is there nothing else for break.
fast ?" said one such victim of colo,
nial hospitality at backwoods inn
as whole fish and pot of mustard
were laid before him on the table.
Nothing else !" replied the host
in surprise; why, there's salmon
enough there for six, amt there?"
eyes," responded the guest
mildly; "but don't care for sal
mon."
Well, then, bitch into the mus
tard," was the rejoinder.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
POETRY.
LINKED LIVES.

a little toddling boy at play,
An elder girl, alert and CAV,
Nina guardian OF his infant way
small Charles, wise Mary.
"A y0uth-with longings unfulflled-
10 foesle his life-work wllled,
n maid dlstraught-a mother killed =
Sad Charles, mad Mary.
"A brother giving up his life,
L, Ills cherished dreams, his fancIes rife,
10 Soothe his sisters bitter strife
True Charles, tried Mary.
ear after year of drudgery dry"
with cheerful mien, with ne'er a sigh,
mat loved ones comfort to supply
Brave Charles, bless'd Mary.
Scant hours Of rest and freedom sweet
Lear trlends by his own hearth to greet,
Inc sister making home complete
Bright Charles, fond Mary.
At length the treasures of his mind
He poured forth freely for mankind
When Ella deathless name he signed
Glad Charles, proud Mary.
Then summers ten of ease and rest,
With kindly word and ready jest,
Tho oft did anguish wiring his breast
Lone Charles, craZed Mary.
But when the cloud had passed away,
Once more the gayest of the CAV
On every theme his wit would play
Quaint Charles, calm Mary.
And best we love to paint them so,
Forgetting those dim years of woe
When he was dead-ere she could go
Dear Charles, dear Mary.
Than theirs; whose record shows more
fairy
With martyrs ordeal may compare
Those lives of "dual loneliness" rare
"Saint" Charles, his Mary
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
Notice,

HAVE returned home to remain
L this fall and winter. Ihaye located
IN DR.. S.~H. Austin's Office. oD Main
street, to work at my trade. Work
guaranteed to give perfect tisfactiOn.
Also still continue my Oculist business.
VIII call on any parties who desire
Glasses, if they will let me know.
have also added to nv line Of busi-
ness repairing of all kinds of Sewing
Machines. Also all kinds of material
for them on hand. All work guaran-
teed. Bring on your machines.
Very respectfully,
J. A. LOWE,
Oct. .,24-tf. Jeweler & OpticIan.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

THERE were ten of them, and
they sat side by side in the street
car, filling up the entire seat, all wo-
men and sleeves, the latter just lit
tie crushed. A lone man hung to q
strap and waited for some one to get
out, and finally one of them did
Then he looked for the vacant seat,
but it had vanished. Soon another
woman got out, and again there was
no seat. Every time woman left
vacant seat, those other women
simply pulled out their sleeves and
moved I'D.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

QUITE LIKELY.--James Hyde,
once lawyer in q small town on
Long Island, tells good story about
himself. He says:
cit was when l used to practice
law in a little town near the end of
the State. A farmer had one of his
neighbors arrested for stealing ducks,
and / was employed by the accused
to endeavor to convince the court
that such was not the case. The
plaintiff was positive that his neigh
Dor was guilty, because he had seen
the ducks in the defendants yard.
How do you know they are your
ducks p l asked.
'Oh, should know my own ducks
anywhere y replied the farmer, and
he gave description of their vari-
Gus peculiarities whereby he could
readily distinguish them from others.
Way said I, those ducks can't
be Of such rare breed! / have seen
some just like them in my own yard.
THAT'S not at all unlikely replied
the farmer, for they are not the
only ducks have had stolen lately. 20
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

WHEN is a ship like woman I?
When she is in stays" "By Jove !"
exclaimed Henderson, when he heard
this old-timer, "I'll spring that on
the boarders tonight )" and he did.
When they had all given it up, he
exclaimed, with pride and pleasure
in his eyes, " When it has it's corsets
on-no, that doesn't sound just right,
either. But Pm sure it was some-
thing about corsets, and it struck me
as pretty cute when ! heard it,"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

"IsN'T 1t awful ?" said Mrs. Jenks
to her husband. "Isn't what aw.
full" queried jerks. Houston's
boy was run over and received in.
fernal injuries" 4" Internal, you
mean." No, i mean Internal.
know what i talking about" After
a quarrel Of five minutes, jerks pro
duced a dictionary, and, with con
siderable trouble managed to fine
'infernal.' There!n he ex
claimed, II told you 80. Inferna
means relating to the lower regions ,
I" Well" replied Mrs. jerks, with
ring of triumph in her voice, "ain'
that where he was injured 2"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

BILL NYE is man of very sober
demeanor, and rarely cracks jokes
outside Of newspaper columns. He
has been known, however, to play
practical joke on friend. When
Lieutenant Greedy started on his ex-
pedion to the North Pole, Nye gave
him a sealed box that was not to be
opened until he had reached his far
thest point north, 1t contained
axle-grease for the pole.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

A PUzzLING N.-"Yon-
der she comes," said a tall, lank
man who was sitting on a trunk
near the railroad station.
Yonder who comes ?n asked a
fat, heavy man who sat near him.
1.-The train," replied the lank man
"Why do you say 'Yonder she
comes p" asked the fat man.
"Well, that's the customary way
of speaking of train, isn't it?-
And the custom is what fixes things.
Everybody says 'Yonder she comes
in speaking Of trains approach"
Well, I insist you should have
said, '9Onder he comes.'"
ooh, pshaw! nobody ever says
'he' in speaking of train" returned
the lean man.
"Well, I'll agree to leave it with
the station agent, and see if it would
not have been better for you to have
said Wonder he comes,'" added the
fat man.
Both agreed to it, and when they
had found the agent the fat man
asked:
"What is the train just coming
into the station ?"
"lts a mail train" he answered.
Then the lean man went out and
bought a good cigar for the fat man.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
HumOr I'm Law.

In a curious work on "The Hu.
morous Element in German Law"
by o. Geiske, the author describes
the punishments which were in
tiIcted in various parts of Germany,
with the object Of humiliating the
culprit and exposing him to public
ridicule. A common punishment
was that of going in procession
through the streets of town or viii
lage in a dress covered with images
of swords, whips, rods and other in
struments of corporal chastisement.
In Hesse, women who had beaten
their husbands were made to ride
backward on donkey, holding his
tail, on which occasions the animal
was led through the streets by the
husband. This custom existed in
in Darmstadt up to the middle of
the seventeenth century, and was so
common that donkey was kept al
ways ready for the purpose in the
capital and the neighboring villages.
If the woman struck her husband III
such a manner that he could not
ward of the blow, the donkey was
led by the man who had charge Of
him; if not, then by the husband
himself.
AT st. Goar miller was allowed a
certain quantity Of wood from the
forest belonging to the town, in re-
turn for which he was bound to sup.
ply a donkey to the municipality
whenever required for the chastise-
ment of scolding wife.
Another very old custom was that
of furnishing a henpecked husband
by removing the roof of his house,
on the ground that ga man who al
lows his wife to rule at home does
not deserve any protection against
wind and weather.
IF two women fought in public,
they were each put in a closed sem
try box, which only left their heads
exposed, and then posted opposite to
each other in the market place,
where they remained for an hour
face to face, but unable to use their
hands or feet. A common punish
ment for scolding women was the
"shameful stone," which was hung
around their necks. This stone was
usually in the shape of bottle.
At Hamburg, libellers and SLAM
derers were compelled to stand on a
block and strike themselves three
times on the mouth as a sign of re-
tance. In some towns the
shameful stone" was in the shape
of a loaf, whence the German say
ing, "a heavy bit of Bread" At
Lubbock 1t was in the shape Of an
oval dish, and in other places in that
of woman putting out her tongue.
Such stones were usually very heavy.
According TO the law Of Dortmund
Halberstadt l34S) they were to
weigh a hundred weight. Those
who were wealthy could purchase
exemption from this punishment
with a bagful of hops tied with a
red ribbon.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

THE celebrated DIR. Dumoulin, be-
ing surrounded in his last moments
by many of his fellow physicians,
who deplored their loss, said to
them, Gentlemen, leave behind
me three great physicians" Every
one, thinking himself to be one of
the three, pressed him to name them,
upon which he replied, "Cleanliness,
exercise and moderation in eating"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.

WE are now prepared to do TIN
" WORK CT all kinds. Nothing
but first class meterial used. Satisfac-
tion guaranteed. Give US trial and
be convinced that we mean what we
say. ROOFING and SCOUTING a
speciality. Shop in the rear Of Law &
Handley's.
MCCLEARY & DARNELL,
Aug. 25-1y. Lewisburg. w. Va.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

WHY" asked the philosopher.
"why Is It that a man - the noblest
created object-why is 1t that man
should have such doubts of his
ability to win a woman's affection,
when he considers the success in that
line of a pop-eyed, pudding-shaped,
pretzel-tailed dog ?" But the as
sembled listeners answered him not.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

HoBBEs-I tell you I'd like to
have a wife who could discuss ques-
tions of the day with me. Now, 1
suppose when you get home your
wife never talks over the money
question with you, does she? Poor
purse-Doesn't talk over the money
question? You just ought to hear
her when she wants new hat.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

Young man." said the fond
father, "in giving you my daughter
[ have trusted you with the dearest
treasure of my life." The young
man was duly impressed. Then he
looked at his watch" Really 81
he remarked, "I had no idea II was
so late. The cars have stopped
Could | borrow your wheel to ge,
down towns" "Young man.
would not trust anybody on earth
with that wheel.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

A DOLLAR put on interest at five
per cent. will pay itself back in
dividends In twenty years. A young
man who at twenty years of age
puts by a dollar, will have 1t back at
forty and the original dollar besides.
That is eating the cake and having
it, too. A dollar saved at twenty is
worth two dollars at forty.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

A COUNTRY minister remarked to
his wife Sunday noon, "There was
a stranger in church this morning"
" What did he look like ?" asked
the wife, who was woman first and
a minister's wife afterward. "I
didn't see him. "Then how did
you know there was a stranger
there ?" 81 found dollar bill in
the contribution box"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

FRIEND-I was surprised that 1t
took the jury ten hours to reach a
verdict. The evidence seemed to
me quite clear. Ex.Juryman-We
agreed on the verdict at once, but
some one commenced discussion as
to the literary merits of the judges
charge.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
Rightin Sight
Sure Saving Shown

Wen send you our General cata-
logue and Buyers Guide, If you
send US IS cents in stamps. That
pays part postage or expressage, and
keeps off idlers.
It's a Dictionary of Honest Values;
Full of important Information no
matter where you buy. 100 Pages,
$4,000 illustrations: tells Of 10000
I'D articles and right price Of each. One
profit only between maker and user
Get il.
MONTGOMERY WARD & CO.,
lII.sI6 Michigan Ave., Chicago
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

WELL, Uncle Silas, your boy 1:
home from college," "Yes, wuss
luck" /" Worse luck! WhyY
He's larned so much he can't plow
up nothin' but my feelin's, nor har
rer nothin' but my SOUL"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

THE ONLY RESOURCE" 1t is
bad enough to lose our tempers,"
said the good deacon to his Sunday
school class, "but how infinitely
worse to swear over it," The little
fat man on the front seat nervously
mopped off his forehead. "I'd like
to know what you'er going to do"
he said, "when you are baker, and
just as you get your arms buried in
tub of dough two hundred flies make
the discovery that the whole top of
your head is bald ?" The deacon
said he hadn't thought of that.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

WHEN William f. Chandler was
Secretary of the Navy, Admiral
Meade was commandant of the
Navy Yard in Washington. They
got into trouble, somehow, and the
commandant was summoned before
the secretary one day on a matter of
Importance. The secretary told the
cOmmandant that If he kept on he
should be obliged TO punish him by
sending him to sea. "Mr. Secretary"
said Meade, 81 havn't anything to
say except that when it is punish
ment for an officer of the navy to be
ordered to sea, what is your service
coming to? l should like to go to
sea, sir. Good-day."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

SAYS Chaplain Toulmin of Deer
Island: " When a man becomes a
drunkard, he also becomes a liar"
How fortunate 1t is, however, that
every liar does not become drunk
ard
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

A BATH, Me-, lad ran away from
the kindergarten one forenoon. His
father heard of 1t, and at dinner
sternly ashed the urchin about 1t.
The latter replied, "I don't like to
talk business when I'm eating.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
NUMBER 2l.

GETTING EVEN.--Kullack, the
famous pianist, was once invited to
dinner by a wealthy Berliner, who
was the owner Of large boot manu-
factory, and had been a shoemaker
in his time. After the repast, Kul-
lack was requested to play some
thing, and he consented. Not long
afterward the virtuoso invited the
boot manufacturer, and after dinner
handed him pair of old boots
"What am l to do with these ?" in
quired the rich man. With genial
smile Kullack replied, "Why, tho
other day you asked me after dinner
to make little music for you, and
now ask you to mend these boots
for me. Each to his own trade"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

HE was wise man who was CRATE
full there were so many things he
could do without,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

1T must be insisted that the ocean
greyhounds shall keep off the grass.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

HE dropped a match from the
bridge and II lit on the water.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

You will find it less easy to uproot
faults than to choke them by gain
Ing virtues.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

FEW men get their life labor &C.
complished without some sore heart.
aches.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

DON'T fail to call on ID. Il. Thomas
Ciaa oerore buying your Tobacco and
itiss either in large or small qaun
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

SELF.REspECT Is the root Of honor.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
D. ?. sYDEAS7RICKER & CO.,
DEALERS IN
PURE DRUGS
AND
MED lGlM rs,
LEWISBURG, w. VA.

WE Positively CLAIM
Shat We have GREATER FACILI-
y IL ES for doing business, and can offer
hbEFTER PRICES, than any drug
u9use Wuse in this section of the State.
we We confidently invite physicians and
o'ners who have wants in this line to
GIVE US A TRIAL.
rrices willingly quoted and mail or.
aoLs a solicited and given our prompt
e g." careful attention. Respectfully,
o. .P.sYDENsTRICKER P. s. co.
Jan. 18th, 1895.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15

1T Is not we'll to be numbered with
too many memories.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-15
MISCELLANEOUS.
FINANCIAL CATECHISM.
|. What is binetallismo

By AN OLD-TIME REPUBLICAN.
Semi-weekly independent. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1895-1897, 1896-04-11

TT. Wayne; DR.. Bertrand, Letters Ford
DIR. f.. L. Annis, Laporte: DIR. REQ, OF
Marmont: Drs. Smith and Gould, OF
Argos, and DR. Hamilton, of LapaZ
Price and Shell have success fu
hatch from their incubator. The, Hay,
reiiled IT, and with their acquired eX-
perence expect to do better next time
Jacob Wade and daughter. left fol-
Marion this afternoon Miss Wade Will
remain with acquaintance some tine
Mr.. Wade returns IN TWO OF three
days.
Walter Bucher informed a reporter
that he has rented the barn east of the
site OF the old Parker house and will
start livery there next Tuesday or
Wednesday.
The Rev. W. W. Jones has received
an invitation to hold d series OF meet
ings at Rochester and will probably 90
there after the close of his engagement
at Walkerton.
Bishop White and Rev. W. W. Ray
mOnd took the 9:49 train for Rochester
where they will hold services tomorrow.
They will go from there to kewanna
and then to Michigan City.
We are glad to see that grandma
Shay is pleasantly settled at home,
having moved in the property belong
ing to Richard Shay, deceased. Her
many friends join in wishing her long
life and much happiness.
Martindale Il Stevens have placed an
excellent new safe in their office today.
This is of course no criterion Of pros
porous times for this popular firm, but 1t
is certain TO perserve important papers
by their numerous clients.
The funeral services of Miss Maud
Stoops will be held at the l. b. church
tomorrow at p. IN. Rev. Mr.. Riley, of
Walkerton conducting the services as
sisted by the Rev. Mr.. Lands. The re-
mains will be Inferred in Oak Hill
cemetery.
The Hon. James NJ. Robinson, of TT.
Wayne, received the democratic nOmi-
nation for congressman III the 18th
district, which held its convention at
Kendallville, last Tuesday. 1t is said
to have been quite an enthusiastic
gathering.
1t was reported on the streets today
that AL GRANGE of one of the Georgia
colonies, formerly OF this place had
died. The report purported to have
come through John Giller, but Mr..
Giler said he has received no informa-
ton to that effect. 1t is probably not
true.
Semi-weekly independent. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1895-1897, 1896-04-11
From Fridays Daily.


Today is dress parade at the schools.
Mrs. Oliver Soice is in South Bend to-
day.
}. z. Kirk returned to Argos this
morning.
G. w. Chapman, of Warsaw, is in
town today.
NJ. Hollingshed is in Rochester today
on business.
Mrs. Judge Capron returned from
Larwell at | 90.
John Baugher trod the pavements of
Plymouth today.
Swindell Bros. shipped 10000 dozen of
eggs this morning.
Lot Losey is reporting for the News
out of school hours.
Miss Louie Borton returned to her
home in Bourbon today.
Thos. Tribbey has shipped three car
loads of hogs this week.
VIM. Weaver is quite i'll with
symptoms of typhoid fever.
Mr.. Heinrich, of Donaldson, was in
our city today on business.
Mrs. DIR. Dunlap went to Bourbon
this morning to visit patients.
John G. Kuhn IS on the sick list but
is still able to attend to business.
The Cycle company sent out $50 cat
alogues to applicants this morning.
Ten cent dress ginghams for 5 cents
this week at Carpenter d Bosworth.
Mrs. Dorbon, North Walnut street, is
completing an addition to her house.
Samuel Barrett, of Upton, is visiting
his nephew j. e. Barrett, of this city.
Miss Libbe and Robert Philpott
came from Warsaw to visit Jas. Huff
man.
Mrs. w. o. baltimore has been the
guest of Mrs. J. a. Gilmore since Mon
day.
Mrs. Mary Dickerson, of Rutland, is
visiting her daughter Mrs. David
Baker.
Nicholas Fleck has plated al addi-
ton to Plymouth west OF the Bicycle
works.
Those who desire employment would
do well to address Box 923, Plymouth,
Indiana.
Albert lloham, of Chicago, is in the
city visiting his grandfather and other
relatives.
f. &. Wagar, of Failar, Mich, repre-
senting the Three Rivers Robe Co., i'll
town today.
Mr.. Melburn, who has been visiting
MIR. and Mrs. Will Daniels went to
Goshen the noon.
We see 10y number of exchanges
that DIR. Z. A. Brown is getting quite a
reputation as fruit grower
south Bend Tribune: Loire Capron,
of Plymouth, who has been in the city,
has returned Messrs. Charles Harris
andAlbert Bowel, of Plymouth, were
in the city yesterday James Ulrich