davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald., 1896-02-17
Chastisiog Chairs.

Students Of the human character may be
Interested in noting how Yorkshire bar
onet, sometime since called 60 his rest, used
topupish his servants. During the greater
part of his life he was member Of parlia-
ment, and throughout his whole career he
was remarkable for mental vigor, fertility
OF resource and sbrewdnesS of observation.
Arranging a number Of chairs together
in his dining room, he would associate the
name of each one of his servants with a
particular chair. and then, arming himself
with thick stick, would proceed to Con-
vict and chastise the offender.
The first two or three of these chairs he
would probably pass by, saying that these
particular servants were all right, until
coming to the chair associated with the
man in disgrace he would proceed to break
bis stick over 1t, exclaiming loudly that
tho unfortunate individual was a rogue
and vagabond, and any other abusive
epithet that might occur to him.
Meanwhile the servants, listening be-
hind the door, were able to announce the
approaching dismissal Of the servant con-
victed and ohastised in this peculiar man
1er. Such statement, appearing in a
novel, might be supposed to have had it's
origin In the imagination Of the writer,
but 1t is here set down as a plain matter
ct fact. .--Pearson's Weekly.
The herald., 1896-02-17
BsldheatIed Wits.

In London there is Baldheaded club,
every member of which must have a
smooth and shiny pate. One of their fa-
vorite amusements is to attend in body
music halls and theaters where the ballet
is feature. The attention Of the audi
ence, however, Is always rivcted on the ar
ray Of bald heads as their owners file down
the aisle and seat themselves in the front
rows, and throughout the performance
they receive more or less notice in the way
of friendly rem arks from the gallery.
Not many years ago there was a Partisan
wit and boulcvardier named Siraudin,
who would have been eligible to the presi-
dency Of the London club, for his head was
absolutely destitute of hair. One hot day
he was sitting bareheaded at one of the ta-
bles out Of doors on the boulevard, with a
number Of friends about. He noticed a
hair on his coat sleeve and carefully picked
it up and placed it on top of his head amid
the laughter of his companions. Suddenly
he began to mop his face with his hand
kcrchief and show every sign of excessive
suffering from the heat.
"Dieu! How warm ] am,'' he ex-
claimed exhaustedly couple of times;
then the reason for it occurred to him, and
he cried as he raised his hand to his head
"Ah! l know what makes me SO warm
It's my hair, and he carefully removed it
and placed it on the table as he would a
wig.--New York World.
The herald., 1896-02-17
Hall Caine and Gladstone.

He (Hall Caine) left school at the age Of
IS and was apprenticed by his father TO
John Murray, architect ard land surveyor.
The lad had no special faculties Tor archi-
lecture beyond possessing fair knowl-
edge of drawing. When only 10 he drew
the map Of England which appeared in the
first edition OF ellis Geography
John Murray was agent for the Ian
cashire estates Of ". L. Gladstone. and it
was in this way that Hall Caipe first be-
came known to the statesman, who from
the first has been among his keenest ad-
mirers. One of the first occasions on which
he attracted Mr.. Gladstone's attention was
one day when he was experimenting the
surveying of Seaforth, Gladstone's estate
Gladstone was surprised to see SO small a
lad in charge Of the chainmen and began
to talk with him. He must have been i'm
pressed by the lads conversation, for he
patted his head and told him he would be
fine man yet. Mr.. Gladstone has never
forgotten this incident. Some years latar,
John Murray having failed in the mean
WHILE an offer was made to Hall Caine
from the tiladstores Of the stewardship CT
the Seaforth estate at salary of &120 u
year. Although tho thought Of SO much
wealth, " he relates, Overwhelmed me,
did not see in this offer the prospect Of any
career-indeed this had been pointed out
TO me-and determined to continue in
tho architects Office He accordingly at
tached himself AS pupil or apprentice TO
Richard Owens, the architect. -McClures 8
Magazine.
The herald., 1896-02-17
BONAPARTE AND JOSEPHINE.
The Incident Which Was the Beginning
Of the Estrangement Between Them.

1t was on Oct. 16 that Bonaparte ar
rived at his house on Victory street, in
Paris. Nine. Bonaparte was not there to
givo him welcome. During the absence
of her husband she had made her house the
center of brilliant society which num-
bercd among its members the ablest men
Of the time. This circle was untiring in
its devotion to Bonaparte's interests, max
ing friends for him at home plotting in
his behalf abroad, turning every political
incident to his advantage and building up
strong party which believed that he was
the only possible savior Of France. In con-
duct the associates were gay and even dis
solute; occasionally select inner coterie
Withdrew to Plombieres, nominally for re-
pose, but probably for seclusion not al
together innocent.
Into this loyal but lcentious company the
sudden announcement Of Bonaparte's ap-
preach brought something like consternn-
tion. Josephine, in particular, was over
anxious to display feigned devotion to
her husband. Learning of his approach,
she went out some distance to meet him,
but took the wrong road and passed him
unawares Hurrying back she found the
door OF his chamber barred, her absence
being Of course confirmation of the gen
erals jealous suspicious. For hours her
entreaties and tears were vain. At last
Eugene and Hortense joined theirs with
their mothers and the door was opened.
The breach was apparently healed, but
rather TO avoid q scandal than from sin
oere forgiveness, and this scene was the
beginning of estrangement - Professor
Sloanes Life Of Napoleon" in Century.
The herald., 1896-02-17
A DROP OF WATER.
1t Has History That Is Full Of the Won
derS Of Romance,

Water TINT Is now in the ocean and in
the river las leen many times in the sky.
The history OF single drop taken out cf
q glass OF water is really romantic one
No Traveller has ever accomplished such
distances N his life. That particle may
have reflected the palm trees Of coral is
lands and have caught j!.e Gun ray in the
arch that spaps cloud clearing away from
the valleys of Cum berland or California.
1t may have been carried ny the gulf
stream from the shore of Florida oc Of
Cuba, to be turned into crystal of ice be-
side the preoipiees of Spitzhergen. 1t may
have lowered over the streets of London
and have formed a part OF murky fog and
have glistened Oh the young grass blado
Of April in Irish fields. 1t has been lifted
up to heaven and sailed in great wool pack
clouds across the sky, forming part of a
cloud mountain echoing with thunder 1t
has hung in heecy veil many miles above
the earth at the close Of long seasons Of
still weather. It has descended many
times orar in showers to refresh the esrth
and has sparkled and bubbled in messy
fountains in every country in Europe.
And it has returned to its native skies,
having accomplished its purpose, TO no
stored once again with electricity TO give
1t new life producing qualities and equip
it as heavens messenger to earth once
more.-Charles S. Whiting in Museum.
The herald., 1896-02-17
-------------- =
A DAKOTA COLD SNAP.
The Story Is Told and vouched For by .
Member of the Ananias Club.

The Story Is Told and vouched For BY .
Member of the Ananias Club.
"Mr President and gentlemen, began
Mr.. CalSins, II am not an old man and
therefore the winter speak Of is familiar
to all Of you-that of 1873. Five OF us,
with our wives, had gone to Dakota in or
der to obtain homcstcads, and settled 25
miles from the then small village Of Fargo,
near where the city of Castleton is now
situated, but then wild, desolate prairie,
with no neighbors nearer than Fargo and
bands Of Indians or droyes of wolves plac-
ing us in constant peril.
1.-THE five families, although having sod
houses of their own. all lived in one house
for companionship and protection. Well,
at 1890 o'clock Wednesday night, Oct. 3,
1t turned so cold that we could see the
walls moving in and the house grow
smaller from the natural contraction
caused by the atmosphere. 1t grew colder
constantly until morning, and then re-
n1ained as it was"
What was the degree?' some ono asked.
To tell the truth. gentlemen, 1 do not
know" was tho response. I'VE had hall
dozen thermometers, but they were the
mercury kind. and mercury froze so solid
within an hour that the children used the
bulbs to play marbles with all that winter
and until they thawed out the following
Fourth of July. We had plenty Of fuel
and wore heavy winter wraps in the house,
in this way keeping from freezing. After
few weeks we became used to 1t. One
of the ladies discovered how beautiful the
icicles were that grew upon the windows.
They then wore them as jewels, and dia-
NH
no danger of their melting, even in the
house, and 1t was actually a source of sor-
row to the Indies whom the weather grew
warm enough for us to so out doors and
to mott the diamonds with which they
had decorated themselves. That was the
coldest winter ever experienced, but /
cannot tell just how cold it was, owing
to having no spirit Thermometer. Wash
tu2ton Star.
The herald., 1896-02-17
To Obtain Particulars for q
Write-up
A REPORTERS GREAT NERVE
With Which, After All, the Corpse
Found No Fault
lie Thought Tie Had Hore Gall Than Them
City FelIers' and Proved It Con.
eIusivciy

Among newspaper men there is pecul-
lar class that roves from place TO place,
never stopping long in the same city. In
this way the mental photographs they OBJ
tain of life are vivid and exceptional.
Reporters have such unusual opportuni-
ties for the observation Of life in every
phase that often the most iiA AIligent are
unwilling to credit the experiences they
sometimes relate.
The majority Of people see life in only
one channel with a few excursions into
other fields of life, but the reporter passes
through every chamber of the storehouse
Of events With this little digression
story by u newspaper man, possessing the
migratory habits already referred to, is al
together unique.
81 was working in Washington" he
said, when the city editor assigned me to
attend the funeral of man who had been
prominent in the part Of Virginia lying
about the capital. Tho services were to
be held in the village that had been the
home of the deceased. Like all other sub
urban places, it was blessed with coun-
try correspondent, who believed that he
was entirely superior to the city fellers,'
and whose nerve was unequaled.
''He knew everybody in town, and
knew MIN, tuerolOre WAS Slau 10 Ill6e1
him when I found that had arrived too
late to attend the services, and that the
funeral cortege was already on its way to
the cemetery.
/" Hello he cried, where are you go.
ing9'
''I'm bound for the funeral, but I'm
afraid I can't wait long enough to observe
the burial
".Well, so am I. Come along and we'll
get everything hoprocession is approach
ing US now. I'm in hurry, too, and want
to get away
"We rote on ahead in a buggy, and
presently the hearse appeared, followed by
a string Of carriages. / have q fair share
OF assurance, but the exhibition he gave
astourled me SO that have not recovered
to this day.
"Cooiy hailing the undertaken, who
was riding on tho hearse in which rcposed
the ooiji,l, covered with flowers, he stopped
the fu.eH:.l procession while no whipped
cut q patcb3ok, and for at least Is min
rtes kept the cortege back while hs obtain
ed all tta particulars OF what had happen
ed at the house ant! what was going to oc-
our al the cemetery.
''Jnan he stopped at the windows of the
carriages and received the names Of every
body who was in attendance. After look
irg 10 all ths detnils he turned to the un-
dertaliar AID cried out:
"'All right. Go ahead. I've got all I
want now.
sit was one OF the greatest displays of
nerve I ever witnessed. Philadelphia
Call
The herald., 1896-02-17
And Considered Friday to Be
His Lucky Day
HE HAD HAD EXPERIENCE
Which Led Him to Question the
Popular Superstition
Thirteen Is His Mascot, and IL Friday Is
Added HIS Luck Is Doubiy
Sure

~EIess my soul, If there isn't 13 Of us
herei" said Engineer DeGraw Of the Erie
road as he looked over the men in Kinks
restaurant, at the Port Jervis depot, wait
ing for lunch.
Eyes, and this Is the 18th of the
month" interposed Warren Ridgeway.
Kirk. the ''hosh Singer was too busily
engaged in making IS sandwiches to no.
tice the remark.
Coffee for 1872 ho roared to the boy.
"What are you fellows laughing atf' he
asked as he turned to the 13 fellows on the
outside of the lunch counter. By this
time Tommy Leard, the 13-year-old waiter,
had ees out the 1S cups Of coffee on the
counter, and over the coffee cups the joke
was explained.
THAT Is peculiar" retorted Kirk, "but
! don't ao,ieYe In this bad luck stuff con-
necced with 10. If there was any truth
In Il, I'd bo oas vi business, FOX have had
mora 15 experiences than this whole gang
OF IS fellows could shake ii stick at.
''Es, yea know that it's ID years since
seartaG in business, on tho 18th OF Deoen-
her, sDs. or a friday uoos" he asked. Il
ferae4r.!,sr Distinctly 5tat Oh tho night of
that lszt aay figured up tho receipts to
be sls."
'iss:;r.;;, yoa re t2i,ing one of those stories
o. youvs. What do yoil think we ore?" it,
ts7rgptc5 nare 1IeEisil. IN less than s.
seconds Kirs lad banded over Che piio CT
Is ioaks, each containing years cash re-
eeipts, ard N 3 seconds moro had proved
the truth Of Lis statement.
-'.As .-ras saying before somebody stop
psti me, Kirk continued, II was antici-
pasilg sone changes in tho building, aud
wi.i,s I .yss fgnviug / discovered that
there ,Yece i3 windows anF; doors in this
p,aS,s: Tbs / s Inen turned snd counted.
..Just Us true as gospel that Is, was
the remark that came from. each, and Kirk
ccattrued: "YouIl bo surprised when I
tell yeu that the counter around which
you are sitting is exactly l3 feet long. It's
exactly l3 feet fran the bottom to the
gable of this lunchroon.
"Have You ever had any bad luck,
kirk" cne Of the most superstitious of
the gang asked.
.sNo; I've been fortunate, he replied,
"aud I :h;Gl, 13 has served me as mascot.
live at l3 Catherine street. ! almost for
got to tell you that
Pic was then cut for IS, and while eat
ing it the talk drifted to railroad topics.
Tho flying express, 13, turned the curve
leading to the depot before the talk was
finished, and the 3 men turned to their
separate stations in receiving the train,
while Kirk made up another batch OF &c
sandwiches for the passengers who might
care for lunch.-Sew York Press.
The herald., 1896-02-17
Pound His Bearings.

An amusing incident occurred in the
hearing of q collision case in the admiralty
court, before Sir Francis Jeune and Trim
ity House assessors. A typical old salt,
With only one eye, got along quite salts
factorily with his examination in chief,
but was rather nonplused when the OPP
posing counsel began to cast some doubts
upon his evidence. The old tar got over
the first three or four questions safely, but
his wrath rose as the Gross examination
proceeded. At length he could restrain the
full gale Of indignation no longer, and
battoning his jacket tightly he leaned over
the rails of the witness box and cried:
-"I beg your pardon, but who might you
he, misterr' The court roared with laugh
ter, In which the president and assessors
heartily joined.
The counsel replied: "Oh, am against
you" At this admission the sailor SEEM
cd lnnch relieved and remarked: "Oh, I
.see. Now know my bearings and must
steer accordingly. ."--London Telegraph.
The herald., 1896-02-17
A Narrow Shave.

The tall, aged, sad looking man ate a
bountiful dinner at the restaurant and
then with postoffice order made his way
to the cashiers desk. He banged down the
order with battered silver coin and looked
sadder than ever.
The cashier picked up the money and
examined is suspiciously. 1t had deep
dent on ono side and looked as though it
had been tampered with.
At that moment the customer spoke:
sit is very painful for me to part with
that half crown. 1t saved my life once
however, and must do so again. At the
charge of Balaklava carried it in my til.
mic, and the dent you SEQ there was made
by bullet, which otherwise would have
killed me. / have kept it since as me.
mortal, and it we'll nigh breaks my heart to
let it go, but I must--I have nothing
else.''
The cashier was plainly interested. "In
what year was the charge Of Balsklava!"
be asked.
Fifty four said the man promptly.
"And this coin,'' returned the cashier,
sis dated 1877 and Is counterfeit.
The sad man looked annoyed. "Of
course it is," he replied. How. could I
have an 1877 half crown In 1854 if it wasn't
. counterfeiti''
And tsle cashier was so dumfounded
that he passed out threepence and allowed
the ga: man to escape. pe.-Pearson's 3 Weekly.
The herald., 1896-02-17
A Long Throw.

The New York drummer was leaning
gracefully on the bar talking.
you may not believe me" he said,
.but when was down in Kentucky
stood on bit OF high ground in Breathit5
county and threw a stone into the Ken
tuoky river; then without moving my feet,
though turned my body slightly, threw
another stone seven miles down the river. +"
"Ratsr' interpolated person who had
heard drummers' stories before.
!: ..'It's true bill, - insisted the narrator.
"It was just seven miles from where the
first stone struck the water to where the
second one hit, and I'm not baseball
player, either"
After some discussion the drummer held
up his hand and swors To his story, and
then explained that at Jackson, in Breath
lit county, the Kentucky river swings
around bend for seven miles and comes
back to within SO feet of itself, and man
standing on the narrow ridge separating
the waters can easily toss a stone into the
river to tho right or left, thus making q
throw Of seven miles up or down the river,
asthe case May be.
This is the true state of the case. New
York Enp,
The herald., 1896-02-17
Highest Range In America.

Tt is not commonly known, but it is a
fact, that perhaps the highest range of
mountains in America il on the Uintah
Indian reservation in Utah. Bears peak
has an altitude Of 600 feet, being 400
feet higher than Pixies peak in Colorado.
In a stretch of 30 miles there are dozen
such peaks with attitudes of over 1900
feet each, and which are snow capped al
most all the year round.
From these mountains numbers Of riv-
ers of bright crystal water have their
source. They flow down through the val
leys and plains, affording the finest nat
ural irrigation In the world. The two res
ervations have an area OF about 5000, 600
acres, Uintah occupying about 1000, 900
acres. According to the report of the Unit
ed States Indian agent, Major Ranlett,
about $40, acres of the Uintah land is
admirably adapted for cultivation. st.
Louis Globe Democrat.
The herald., 1896-02-17
sueLETTING THAT PAYS.
New Jersey Lawyers Who Make Money
From Outside Corporations.


From Outside Corporations.
swell, thau's the worst ever saw. " re-
marked man in small New jersey
town, as To stood IN front OF a lawyers
office. What he saw was enough to stagger
any one who wss not initiated into The
mysteries Of modern business methods
The ground glass door was fairly covered
with the names Of high sounding corpora
tions, many OF which were favorably
known in New York business circles.
Cant make it out, chs said the jani-
to- of the bCildinS, vino had noticed the
surprised icok on the mans face. "Well,
all those names belong to manufacturing
firms doing business in New York. AS
they are all stock companies they have to
be Incorporated. Now, according to the
laws OF New York state, every corporation
is pretty we'll hampered with red tape, be-
sides being compelled to pay heavy taxes.
"New jersey, taking advantage Of her
proximity to New York, has adopted very
liberal laws in order to induce manufac-
turing concerns to settle within her juris-
diction. AS natural result these laws are
taken advantage of by many firms who do
business in New York and have their
plants located in various parts Of the coun.
try. All the direct letter of the law re-
quires Of them, after they have become in.
corporated, is to have an Office within the
state
"A struggling lawyer is only too glad
to let them put their names on his door
and give them the use of his Office for
about ten minutes once year, when the
annual meeting of the officers is held. For
this service the corporation generally pays
the lawyer $40 month, which sum is en-
tered in the company's books as Office rent,
So you see that if young lawyer is fortu.
nate enough to get several names on his
door, he rakes in a nice little sum every
year for doing nothing. New York
World.
The herald., 1896-02-17
PHILOSOPHY OF A ROUGH MAN.
He Has Discovered That Any Calling Is
Tiresome to Those Who Follow 1t.

Tfresoue to Those Who Follow 1t.
He was poorly dressed and rough in
appearance man: but nevertheless, he was
something of a philosopher. He was plod-
ding along Ashland avenue near Sixticth
street, when young man overlook him
and made some inquiries as to street III
that part of the city. The street was about
half mile away, so they continued the
tramlsalong tho rough wooden sidewalks
together.
% Tain't so long ago." said the rough
man finally, making n motion toward
brick pile near the street, ''sinco / used to
pile them things for living
lizard work, | should Think suggested
the young man for want of something bet
ter TO say.
THAT what it is.
."And monotonous.
"What:''
"I say it must be monotonous-tiro-
some
'.Oh. sure Then, after pause, "So's
everything else.
''Oh, there is variety in some things,
protested the young man.
''If a fcller doesn't have to do 'en1, there
Is" returned the other, "but I guess any
business is tiresome to the Teller that has
feller that worked in a store-reg'lar
hours, reglar work and all that. But he
got tired of it. He wanted variety, he said
wanted to travel and have change all tho
time. He got the chance and grabbed it
quick. He was sent here and there and
was on marching orders most of the time
lots of excitement and change, but he
got tired of it. Actually kicked to get
back at desk again, cause he said trav-
cling was so blamed monotonous and tire
some and ho wanted change. Same way
with everybody, j guess. Piling bricks is
mighty hard and tiresome, and I'm doing
better now, but sometimes feels if I'd
like to pile bricks again just for change.
There amt anything that amt tiresome
to the feller that's got to do it every day.
What's ambition but a hankering for
change, anyway? Tho only diff renee be-
tween people is that some Of 'em want a
change so bad that they'll go backward to
get it, while the others have sense enough
to swear and kick, but hang on till they
can get it going forward. ."-Chicago
Times Herald.
The herald., 1896-02-17
Solving a Problem.

The covering Of sofa cushion had been
embroidered and the ruffle sewed on, and
the young wife, proud Of her needlework,
showed it to her husband.
I'm bothered about the size," she re-
marked 1.-The cushions are 22 and "a
inches square. This is just 24 inches
square, and don't see how can spare
enough to turn in for a "a inch cushion. :"
'Cut 1t down to 90 inches and get 20
inch cushion. You can't get "a inches in
side Of 90, you know the husband ox-
planned, his superior knowledge coming
to the rescue.
The next day the wife brought home the
cushion.
"What size did you get:" the husband
asked.
"Twenty-six inches"
"Twenty six! You can't get a6 inside
of a3.''
"Of course can. It's so nat and fluffy,
you see, that can stuff it in. The sales
woman said everybody does that. New
York Times.
The herald., 1896-02-17

admirably, pure running water will make
them violently sick in tho course Of few
hours. This prejudice is shared by most
of the lower animals, and is often acquired
by European travellers in Africa.
At first the stagnane water produces
nausea and even fever. but when once the
system is Injured to it, running water af
fects them in precisely the same way that
1t affects the Arabs London Tit Bits.