The Van Buren press., 1896-03-07
Searching the Family Records.

But to come on down from crop news
to politics-that reminds me of the
news | heard the other day from over
IN the hill country to the extent that
Gus Crittenden is out as a candidate for
the office of county judge.
1t has come to pass in these days that
if it want for burnin issues and joint
discussin and campaign orators this
would be a monstrous dull world to
live in. A man that stays at home and
tends to his own business and keeps
cool and sober and honest and yirtuous
mought maybe, live long and peaceful
life and then die happy. But at the
same time he would miss whole passle
OF fun.
The woods are now full of candidates.
They are putin up and comm out so
thick till by gracious you couldn't stir
'em with a stick. And that reminds
me of good story they use to tell on
old man Josiah Jernigan.
Now, better man than Josiah Jerni-
gan neyer lived and moved and had his
washing done in the Rocky Creek set
Element He stood way up in the
church. and was sober as a judge and
straight as a shingle for common. But
one time the boys took and put the
old man on the reglar ticket for county
coroner. And at the convention that
day-in the general rally and confu-
sionmeHt-tbe old man stood treats
with the boys considerable and changed
ms own breath most too frequent like.
Consequentially when he got home that
night he was as happy as a sun flower,
and as mellow as maypop. He driv
up to the front gate and sorter turned
loose and fell out left his mules to
take out and do their own feedin-and
staggered around to the kitchen, where
his good wife, Aunt Matilda Ann, was
flxin supper--fopped down in chair
and opened up the meetin:
"Tildan. unstan' me, now," says he,
"did your father, or your granfather,
or your gret granfather, or your gret,
gret grandfather, or your gret, gret,
gret, greet granfather-or any of
his ltinnery-so fur as you know
ever take anything that didn't belong
to 'em ?-or break into the county Jail
or run away with another mans
fanily-or-or-
Josiah Jernigan!" says Aunt Ma
tilda Ann, "what in all this world do all
YOU to-nightP''
"Unstan me, Tildan," says he, did
your mother or your granmother, or
your gret granmother, or your gret,
gret granmother, or your gret, gret,
gret, greet granmother-or any of
her kinnery as fur as you know-ever
fly high or carry on any flirtationments
and scandalations with the neighbors
and bring the gray hairs of the family
down in sackcloth and ashes to the
grave, so help you God?"
'Sakes alive, Josiah Jerniganl are
you crazy as well as drunk to-night?'
''Not if the court knows herself" I"
saws old man Josiah, "and she ruther
think she DO. But-unstan me now,
Tildan, | am runnin for office on the
democratic ticket, and if there is any
cat in the meal tub-unstan me. Til
dan-if there is any cat in the meal
tub. the fur is bound TO fy!"
Now. in spite of all his faults and his
failings and dshortcomings, Josiah Jern-
igan had a head on his shoulders
which was as long as flour barrel and
as level as a squash. lie was right about
It. You can git ont your little note
book and set it down thatwhensomever
n man starts out in politics to serve
the people and save the country-if
there is any cat in the meal tub, the fur
is bound to fly.