The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-05-27
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

- Anticipation Of evil is the death
Of happiness.
= A page digested is better than a
volume hurriedly read.
"A beautiful girl is n who is
pretty and doesn't know it.
= Christ is himself the one unan-
swerable proof Of Christianity.
There is one secret that is easy
for a woman to keep-her age.
= Whether a woman remains serious
or smiles much depends often entirely
upon--her teeth.
= The religion Of a child depends
on what its mother end its-father are,
and not on what they say.
= An enthusiastic Western critic
thus writes of a new novel: "The
incidents follow each other like a
shovelful Of hot GOALS"
"A pension bill before Congress
gives S12 a month to a man whose
disability was 'tcaused by overheating
himself at the battle Of Bull Run"
- The latest watch is q. marvel Of
ingenuity. 1t is the size Of a small
solitaire, and is intended to be worn
as the button of a shirt OF sleeve.
= A dry goods merchant was ask
ed how he spent his evenings. His
reply was, Sat night [ store my mind,
and during the day I mind my store"
= incompetence drives wit out Of
the head, health out of the body,
money out of the pocket, elbows out
Of the coat, and goodness out OF the
heart
-s;Did you fall?n said a man,
rushing to the rescue Of a woman who
had slipped on the icy pavement.
ooh, no" she said II just sat down
to see if I could find any four-leaf
clovers.''
One great moral influence not
yet credited to the bicycle is indicated
in the fact that horses are now go cheap
in the West that horse stealingis no
longer worth while, and that species of
crime has practically disappeared.
= An ingenious use Of electricity is
to warm the bedclothes. This is done
by heating a system Of wire inside o
double quilt. The current can be
regulated at will and the temperature
maintained at the required degree.
= Agent-Can't I put a burglar
alarm in your house? Lady-No,. we
don't need it. Agent--But- Lady
No, [ mean it. The family across
the street watches the place so closely
that even a burglar COULDN'T get in
without being seen!
- cow has been known to recog-
nize the picture of a calf, and the
tiger is said to be draw to a trap by
the picture of a companion. The
timid horse, however, takes 90 notice
Of a picture. ard the cat will not
spring at a painted bird.
-"How did you happen tc join the
Independent Rifles 2" "To avoid
jury duty" "They tell me you re-
signed just as soon-as there was a
prospect Of war" ssThat was because
I felt that no good citizen should
| shirk the demands Of the jury box.
= Country roads in China are never
bounded by fences, but are entirely
underlined. While the farmer has the
/ right to pillow up any road passing
through his land drivers Of vehicles
have an equal right-and they exer-
else ito traverse any part OF the
country at large.
Ny, friends. said Artemos Ward
on one occasion, we can't all be WASH
ipgtons, but we can all be patriots and
behave ourselves in a human and
Christian manne When We see a
brother goin' do , hill to rum let us
seize right hola Il his coat tail and
draw him back to morality.
-"Now, between you and me, dar-s
ling" he began, as he sat with his
arms embedding her waist. George"
she interrupted, II wish that you
would be a little more precise in your
words. How can there be anything
between you and me? There isn't
room," and she s~nuggledup stillcloser.
For every quarter in a mans
pocket there are a dozen uses ; and to
use each one in such a way as to de-
rive the greatest benefit is a question
every one must solve for himself. We
believe, however, that no better use
could be made of one Of these quar-
ters than to exchange it for g. bottle
of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy, a medicine that
every family should be provided with.
For sale by Hill Bros.
= It is said that Columbus, nearing
the shores of the New World, believed
the story which the waves and skies
brought him, that land was not far
away. Birds came near and hoated on
the mild air, and at last perched upon
the masts and twittered their praise
of the shore. Berries were seen in
the sea, and were caught up from the
waves and eaten by the happy sailors.
Land was nigh. That is a picture Of
Christian old age. The heavenly:
shores are near enough SO that the
rich fruits Of the other world arc
within reach of the weary mariner.
Angels of hope and benediction come
to the soul, and futter over the tired
life, and ride home to land with the
creaking old ship.-Rev. F. ". Gan
saulus.
= On the Both of next month Rich
mond will witness the greatest gather
ing of veterans of the Confederate
armies that has ever taken place since
those soldiers separated to their homes.
Never again will it be possible for
such q number of these old soldiers to
be gathered into n encampment.
Each succeeding year sees large num-
Der of those who wore the gray cross
ing the river to join their comrades
who are "resting under the trees on
the other side. The coming meeting
will have the elements of sadness
mingled with the pleasures and joys
of the reunion of old comrades who
will know that they can never again
clasp hands and live over again the