The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-03-16
GREAT cOnMOTIoN.
Caused by the Perrine comet-Prepa
rations FOR tba E,in,I Jo

The Herald last Sunday week caused
quite a stir by announcing tie disoov-
cry of the Perrine comet. Scientific
circles were ON the qui vive as to the
course and result of the comet, and
astronomers, of course, disagreed in
regard to the effect which would be
caused by the appearance OF this
heavenly body. The astronomers were
| divided as to whether our earth would
be smashed to atoms, or whether fall
Ing into the sun, we would be fried
nice and brown before entering the
! eternal realms.
The thinking public no sooner laid
eyes upon this stirring announcement
than speculation became rife. Relig-
lous persons. men who were living in
/ the present and who care not for the
future; men of affairs, and even chill
dren, could not help but anxiously
await for further intelligence of the
dread destroyer" who, the learned gen.
tlemen told US, was approaching at the
rate of $4,000 miles an hour To add
to the uncertainty and suspense, our
friends who scan the starry heavens
when we slumber on sweetly and
peacefully, failed to discover the exact
hour when we would be clinging to
atoms of earth or when we would be
! frying away until done to turn.
! On last Monday morning when going
/ down town two girls saw cloud of
smoke hanging over West Temple, and
from the heavy pail could be discerned
a great red disk One girl stopped at
the corner of State and First South
! and said, What does this mean?" All
sorts of ideas flashed before them, and
finally the other replied. II wonder if
! that isn't the comet. But it doesn't
answer the description of it."
We'll, was the answer, "a comets
a comet, and we are expecting it, so
we might as well say the smoke is the
herald announcing its appearance.
After much discussion it was decided
that the smoke came from legitimate
source
Two men became interested in this
dialogue. but. after the fashion of
their kind, they listened much, but
said nothing at all, SO their opinions
could not be very plainly understood.
Their faces. however. spoke volumes.
Possibly they were not prepared to
meet their Maker on such short notice.
The people who were tired of taxes,
trials and tribulations, and believed
that by dying they would go into eter-
nal bliss, simply said, Let her come.
1 am ready" Lovers who, as usual,
have quarrels occasionally, which
sometimes merely give spice to court
ship and then again may part them
forever, rather rejoiced to think the
comet was coming. Said one of these
melancholy tribe, Now she will be
sorry she treated me so, when she sees
me die before her very eyes He
forgot that she would be so busy look
ing after her lone self at this critical
hour that Georges fate would have
no place in her thoughts.
any of the classes mentioned so far.
Believing as they do that LIES prob
lem has to be worked out. plane after
plane, it behooved them to do as much
as possible in order that this kind of
work might be disposed of immediate
ly. One Theosophist, who is book
keeper worked steadily at his trial
balance sheet in order that he might
complete it on this plane. He wanted
to have a change on entering his next
sphere, SO did not want to cudgel his
brain about the or 10 cents which
often throws the trial balance sheet
out of order and causes a severe trial
to the temper Of the man working on
this job.
Children suffered more anxiety than
grown people. which is natural. But
finally one little girl philosophically de-
clared she would have good time.
for whole week. She would
visit Uncle Charlie every day She
would play with little Rena and eat
all the candy she could get Another /
girl said she would stop going 10
school and have some fun instead.
Comets are good in their way. for |
sometimes they cause an upheaval in |
the right direction. 1t prompted one |
woman who was in debt to discharge !
her obligat ton on the spot She was
going to eternity with clean record. |
The lawmakers worked faithfully ait !
their posts and decided that when
Mother Earth crashed to pieces they
would be in their proper places, ever |
abiding by law and justice.
The theatre-goers planned to enjoy i
life as long as it lasted, so a goodly |
number of them turned out to give a
hearty welcome to the Royles in their
new play, Mexico" and found it SO
to be entertained that the
ioleful prospect before humanity was
entirely forgotten.
Probably no two persons were more
affected by the news of the coming
comet than Selectmen Roberts and
Teddes. They shook hands heartily
md said it would make very little diff
;erence now whether there is an cleo
ric or hydraulic elevator in the joint
building. 81 have an idea" one of
hem remarked. We have joint
WHY IlOl nave d JOINT SiS-
7ator? We will call it the electricity
iraulic elevator. and. thus settle the
difficulty. 1t is not necessary to go
nto details as to how it is to be
worked; for. alasl the end is too near
1t hand" Comets sometimes serve as
To crown all, a banquet was given
1t the Knutsford. neither for
roung men alone, nor for young
maids, for both were present.
All differences between them were
,uried Girls did not think men
ire inconsistent. Boys did not
ay girls are deceitfuI. Harmony pre- I
allied, and so did good cheer, and
When the hour of parting came the
,oys and girls declared that if they
ever could attend another, at least the
present one was thoroughly enjoyable
Friday night the leap year party was
drawing card to the dancers. For
f the earth was to disappear, and if !
We were to be no more. the light fam
astic would have to be tripped again
S a last farewell. The young ladies
pent their money lavishly for this
honorable occasion. Flowers were
rofusely used, carriages were ordered !
nd no expense spared. There was
umor affoat that they were even will
ng to provide the gentlemen syith ci-
ars to take with them on their last
quincy.
After all these speculations and
there is still a sad tale
D unfold. The comet changed it's
curse; we will continue ito live, pay ,
axes. go in debt, attend leap year
arties, etc. REVA. /