davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-04
TALES OF THE DAY.
This WINS Too Much.


A few years ago Jim Chessley was one
of the best al-round athletes on the
coast, but he made speciality of base
ball and sprinting. One night, after be-
ing out with the base ball crowd, he sug-
gested that they go up to his lodgings and
look at a new suit he had bought to sprint
in Though it was o'clock in the morn
ing, they accepted his invitation.
Chessley put on his new running shoes
and trunks. While he was still prancing
about the room before his admiring
friends a commotion was heard out in the
hall and cries of Stop thiefT'
Chessley threw open his door in time to
see man darling down the stairway.
He dashed after the fellow, and, after a
sprint of half a block, caught him. When
Chessley took him by the collar he whirled
around as if he intended to fight but
when he had sized Jim up from the top
of his head to his spiked soles his jaw
dropped, he shook his head hopelessly and
said:
I give up. pardner. When they keep
man ready in runnin' costume to chase
feller at O'Clock in the morning, they're
too many for me.''-San Francisco Post.
His Itemized Bill.
An artist employed in decorating the
properties of an old church in Belgium
being refused payment in a lump-was
asked for details, and sent in his bill as
follows:
Corrected the ten commandments. IS II
Embellished Pontius Plate and put
, ribbon in his NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. 20
Put a new tail on the rooster of St.
Peter and mended his comb. ...... o.
Replumed and gilded the left wing of
the Guardian Angel. 10
Washed the servant of the High
Priest and put carmine on his cheek 5 II
Renewed Heaven, adjusted two stars,
and cleaned the Moon. 10
Terminated the flames of Purgatory
and restored souls. sos
Revived the flames of Hell, put new
tail on the Devil mended his left
hoof, and did several jobs for the
damned ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. III
Rebordered the robe of Herod and re-
adjusted his wig. 90
Put new spotted dashes on the son of
Tobias and dressing in his SACK. 2 90
Cleaned the ears of Balaam's ass and
shod him ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 3 OF
Put earrings into the ears of Sarah. 2 O4
Put new stone in David's sling, en-
larged the head of Goliath and ex-
tended his legs Observation-Disclosures. 302
Decorated Noah's Ark ............. 3 0S
Mended the shirt of Joseph and
cleaned his ears. Observation-Disclosures. 400
Aoldi ..'.....'s................ 500 10
-Lippincott's.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-04

What do you suppose it is that gives
Miss Warp's boomers such peculiar out
ward curves?"
Il think it is Miss Warp."-Exchange.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-04

1t is not the proper thing to say that a
man will make a good husband. 1t is the
wife who makes the good husband. The
bad ones only are the self-made article
Boston Transcript.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-04

F. AUERBACH & BRO.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-04

ambition.
Scorchly-Right you are, sir. 1 was am
bilious to ride bicycle.-Yonkers States
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-04

''Biggars is generous whatever his faults
may be-"
the best and only friend he had. INDIAN
apolis Journal.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-04
The Leading Insurance Agency Of Utah.

esentng None But Frst-c Class Board Companies.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
THE REWARDS OF POLITICS.

President Cleveland's latest extension
of the civil service has reduced the Offices
at the disposal of the chief executive to
about 1000, outside of the postoffice de-
partment, very small number. indeed.
when 1t is remembered that only a short
while ago the President had at his dispo-
sal about $4,000 Offices President Har-
rison just before the expiration of his
term made sweeping extension of the
civil service and President Cleveland. an
parently determined not to be outdone by
his predecessor in measure which he
was the first to advocate, has continued
the work until now the President ial office
is shorn of great portion OF its patron
age, and thereby much of its power
While this extension of the civil service
may be very we'll in theory, it is yet to be
seen how it will work in practice The
old Jacksonian principle that 'to the vic
tors belong the spoils, certainly does not
seem to be borne out in this case. On the
contrary, the political worker has little
to expect i'll the way of rewards from ma.
tional politics, but must now confine his
efforts to State and local fields. With 10
chances at consulships, no hopes of places
in the Treasury Department, and but lit
tie TO expect in any respect from the
powers that be- the average politician
will be less inclined to labor for the sue
cess of a Presidential ticket, and may thus
be compelled to seek surer avenues of
employment than by the chances afforded
in the uncertainty of politics, and after
all be better off permanently; but with
no returns for his efforts he will not be
inclined to spend money in banners and
fireworks and lose time in professions to
elect IA man President who could not if he
would reward him for his activity and
enthusiasm. AS the whole matter of
civil service reform is an experiment
which may be dispensed with by party
entirely in control of the government,
the present arrangement cannot as vet be
declared permanent one, however many
its commendable features may be.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

of its history, but was prepared to say
that in all the legislation of this country
there was "no mystery equal to the
characterization of the standard silver
dollar of the United States.
Judge Holman, of Indiana, in the
House, July 10, 1875, pronounced the
passage of the act as Colossal swim
de" and said, ''as the measure does not
possess the sanction of the House it did
not possess the moral force of a law"
Mr.. Bright, of Tennessee, speaking of
the act of 1878, said: 'It passed by fraud
in the House, never having been printed
in advance, being a substitute for the
printed bill, and never having been read
at the clerks desk the reading being dis
pensed with by an impression that the
bill made no alteration of the coinage
laws. 1t passed without discussion, de-
bate being cut off by operation of the
previous question, and under such cir
cumstances that the fraud escaped the
attention of some of the most watchful
as we'll as the ablest statesmen in Wash.
ington at the time"
Senator Allison, on February 10, 1878,
said the House of Representatives. in
tended to coin both gold and silver and
intended to place both metals on the
French relation instead of our own, but
the bill was afterwards doctored.
Judge Thurman said that in the Senate
they thought it was simply a bill to re-
form the mint. Even President Grant,
who signed the bill, did not know-the
effect of the act, for he wrote letter
eight months after the bill became a law,
in which he said that ''silver will be-
come the standard of value and will he
boarded
At the time of the passage of the act
silver was worth 3 per .cent. more than
gold, and while silver has fallen ..in'.price
since then, nearly all commodities have
fallen in price with it,
Such, according to Mr. Turner's..state-
ment, is the testimony of the leading
men of the country in regard to this ne
farious measure: and if any one can read
the article and not be convinced that
there is something dark and mysterious
connected with the passage of the act of
1878 demonetizing silver, they must have
great faith in the honesty of mankind in
general and lawmakers in particular
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
HoKE SMITH TO DEMOCRATS.
He Advises Them to Stand Stanchlv by
the Ticket.

He Advises Them to Stand Stanchlv by
the Ticket
Augusta, Ga, August 17.-Hon. Uoke
Smith. Secretary of the Interior, replying
to an invitation to attend a Bryan Sewall
ratification meeting at Augusta, after ex-
pressing regret that he cannot be present
says:
ITO opinions which then expressed on
the financial question | still adhere: but
also had occasion then to say that when
the national Democratic convention had
named candidates for President and Vice
President, no matter what might be the
action of the convention upon the finan-
cial question, al Democrats should sup
port the nominees. This position | then
believed to be correct, and am prepared
to sustain 1t with equal sincerity now
The Democratic party does not confine
its platform to single issue, nor will it's
power to serve the people cease with the
solution of that issue. 1t stands for lust
taxation; for the suppression of monopo-
lies and trusts: for government according
to the terms of the constitution: for the
rights of the plain people CT the land
With us in Georgia it also stands for hon
esty and capacity in the management of
our State and county affairs; for the de.
tense of property, home and person.
1.-The Democrat who fails to vote for
the national Democratic ticket strikes Il
blow at Democratic State organizations.
| urge each Democrat to vote for Bryan
and Sewall, even though he may in no
wise have participated in the selection of
delegates to the Chicago convention |
can scarcely feel that it is necessary to
urge support from those Georgians who
took part in the selection OF delegates.
For myself, | consider that my action
when delegates were being chosen fully
committed me to support the nominees.
| regret that cannot be with you at the
ratification meeting, but l shall be in
Georgia later on in the campaign and will
endeavor TO aid as much as possible to-
ward Democratic success"
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
INDIA's COAL Production

The production of coal in India is,
steadily Increasing. In 1885 there were
mined 1885, 600 tons, while last year the.
figures were increased to 3,167, coo tons.
The Bengal collieries are responsible for
about two and one half millions of the
total. Much attention has also been paid
OF late years to the discovery of mineral
oil wells, but the success attained has not
been very encouraging so far, though
some $4,000 million gallons of oil were
obtained from the Digboi field in 1895.
The boring at Srkkur has failed to reach
an oil bed, though il has been carried to
a depth OF ], o0e feet, and is to be sunk
2:O feet further before being Abandoned
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
ELECTRIC BITTERS.

Electric Bitters is medicine suited for
any season, but perhaps more generally
needed when the languid, exhaustetrfe feel
ing prevails, when the liver is torpid and
sluggish and the need of tonic and
alternative is felt. a prompt use of this
medicine has often averted long and per
haps fatal bilious fevers. No medicine
will act more surely in counteracting
and freeing the system from malarial
poison Headache, Indigestion, Consti-
patton, Dizziness yield to Electric Bitters.
SOC and $1.00 per bottle at Massie's Phar-
macy, 100 Jefferson street, Roanoke.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

The Northern and Eastern papers in
their efforts to belittle Mr. Bryan's Mad
ison Square speech are not treating him
fairly They must, in their OWN minds,
admit that it was liable an ! arguments
tive, and it is not helping their cause at
all to discredit.it Fortunately the speech
was widely published and as widely read.
This will give the American people Il
chance to place their own estimate upon
it, no matter how jaundiced may be the
criticisms of his opponents Mr.. Bryan
says that he read his speech so that there
would be no chance for him to he mis-
quoted or misunderstood, and in that he
showed his good sense, COR in view of
what has since happened there is mo
knowing how much his remarks would
have been.distorted had he spoken with
out manuscript. IA
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
THE WIFE'S CATECHISM.

Every Husband is Subjected to Annoying
Questions.
y good many hundreds, and even thou
sands, of long suffering husbands, can
bear sorrowful testimony to the fact that
this is the sort of catechism the wives of
their bosoms subject them to every time
they put on their hat to go out in the
evening:
"Where are you going!'
"Oh, I'm just going out for few min
utes.''
''Where?n
ooh, nowhere in particular.
"What for?''
"Oh, nothing"
'Why do you go, then?'
well, want to go; that's why"
''Do you have to go?''
81 don't know that l do:'
''Why do you go, them
Because.
Because WHAT
'Well, simply because"
''Going to be gone long?'
''No."
Glow longs" -.
81 don't know
ANY body going with youy'
"No.r
'Well, it's strange that you can't be
content to stay at home for few min
utes. Don't you be gone long, will you?"
"No.n
''See that you don't"
This Is one reason why 80 many mar
riages are Il dead, fiat fizzle and failure. =
Chicago Chronicle.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
MARVELLOUS RESCLTS.

From II letter written by Rev I. Gun
derman, Of Dimondale, Mich. we are per-
mitted to make this extract: II have no
hesitation in recommending DIR. Kings
New Discovery, rs the results were almost
marvellous III the case of my wife. While
Twas pastor of the Baptist Church at
Rives junction she was brought down
with pneumonia succeeding the La
Grippe. Terrible paroXysms of coughing
would last hours with little Interruption
and it seemed as if she would not survive
them. y friend recommended DIR. Kings
New Discovery; it was quick in its work
and highly satisfactory in results. Trial
bottles free at Massie's Pharmacy, 100
jefferson street, Roanoke. Regular sizes
5Oc. and 81 90
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

Since 1878 there have been epidemies of
dysentery in different parts of the country
in which Chamberlain's Colo, Oh plera
and Diarrhoea Remedy was used with per-
feet success. Dysentery, when epidemic,
is almost as severe and dangerous as Ash
attic cholera. Heretofore tie best efforts
of the most skilled physicians have failed
70 check its ravages. This remedy, how
ever, has cured the most malignant cases,
both of children and adults, and under
the most trying conditions, which proves
it to be the best medicine in the world
for bowel complaints For sale by The
Chas. Lyle Drug Co.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

The position of Senator David b. Hill
is still in doubt. At one time it is stated
that he will support the Democratic
ticket, and at another it is announced
that he is still sulking in his tent He
had better be up and doing or he will
lose his hold on the Democratic party
entirely. The man who once gloried in
the fact that he was Democrat ought to
be willing to admit that ''there are
others" even when the great majority of
the party holds to ideas that do not coin
cide with his. There was a time when
the New York Senator was looked up to
as leader, and it was not so long ago,
but if he persists in his present course he
will find that his following will be small
indeed.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
THE DEMONSTRATIONS OF SILVER.

We publish elsewhere in The Times an
article from eXComptroller J. Frank
Turner in defense of silver taken from
the Chicago Morning Herald, which is
recommended to the careful perusal of
all interested in the financial question.
He devotes considerable space to the
question as to chow and why silver was
demonetized, )" because as this is n cam
paign of education it is very important
that this should be the first matter elu-
cidated.
Simple as this question seems it is
easy to see, by the authorities he quotes,
that it is not easily answered Most of
those who took part i'll that shady trans
action are either very much overreached
or willfully blind, for Notwithstanding
the study and discussion of the matter
with the aid of such search lights as his
tory affords, very much is still involved
in doubt and obscurity. Nobody, as Mr.
Turner says, seems willing to father
the act which destroyed one-half of the
standard money of the country. Nearly
everyone has purged himself before the
people of any participation in the act.
Judge Kelley, of Pennsylvania, chair
man of the coinage committee of the
House when the act was passed, said the
committee who reported the original bill
was faithful and able. 1t contained pro-
visions for both the standard silver dollar
and the trade dollar, and he never heard
law of the substituting in the Senate of
the section which dropped the standard
silver dollar. He said he knew nothing
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
THE LEE IVY AT YALE.

The ivy from the grave of General Lee,
which was planted on the Yale campus
about two months ago, has disappeared.
When Rev. Joseph Twitchell, Of Hart
ford, said ut the dedication of the Wool
sey statue, that sit would make this
statue avert its head if II class of Yale
should plant an ivy from the grave of
Robert f.. Lea good man representing
an infamous cause.-the fate of that in.
teresting plant was seaieds In the spirit
of Rev. Twitchell's address those who
hated the infamous cause although it
he 5 been dead for thirty years, scattered
the poor little ivy to the winds, and Yale
now rests In peace. There may have
been a great deal of fervent patriotism
in Dr. Twitchells suggestions, and those
who plucked the plant from the sacred
soil of Yale may have acted from the
highest and most thivalrous motives
But if that sort of spirit existed in the
South it would not be possible to erect a
monument to the Union dead in any
Southern State. Near Petersburg, Va.
there IS n statue to those members of n
Maine regiment who fell in battle 1t has
never been molested, and when it was
placed in 1.-THE heart of the enemy's coun-
try a camp of Confederate veterans vol
UNFAIRLY gave pledge that it should be
protected. Nobody has ever suggested
that 1T was memorial of cause against
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

which every Southern man was .arrayed
and the triumph of which brought sor-
row into nearly every Southern house
hold. They are more liberal in the South
to-day than at Yale, and if memorial of
General Grant was planted in Richmond
no resident of that city would be so mar
row-minded or venomous as to lay vio~
lent hands upon it, Yale needs a little
practical reconstruction of the same
kind. Baltimore Sun.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
Roanoke. Va. June 10 1906

tUaHUKe, va, June To, 1876.
Messrs w. $. McClanahan e. Co., agents
Accident Department Aetna Life In
sarance Co., No. Campbell avenue,
Roanoke, Va
Dear Sirs: Please accept my thanks
For the. prompt manner in which your
company (the Aetna Life Insurance Coz
has settled my claims for injuries re-
ceived. | sent proof of injury on the 30th
oil May and check for $50, amount in full
OF claim, was seat me June 4th
Very respectfully,
w. G.. BALDWIN.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

Whether Hoke Smith has rendered his
resignation as Secretary of the Interior
or not, he has shown his independence
the national Democratic ticket, and that
is all that can be expected of him. If
others as high in official life were as
mindful of their obligations to the party
that has made them what they are they
would stand in much better light be-
fore the people of this country of all
political parties. OF all offences ingrati-
tude is the most objectionable, and peo-
pie everywhere so regard it.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
REFORMED.

First Sheep-Do you gambol?
Second Sheep-Not now; but in youth
often did; in fact / was raised on the
turf, but falling i'll with some blacklegs
they pulled the wool over my eyes and
so completely fleeced me that stopped.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
SENT IT TO HIS MOTHER IN GER.
MANY
Very respectfully,
w. G. BALDWIN.

Mr.. Jacob Esbensen, who is in the en-
ploy of the Chicago Lumber Company, at
Des Moines, Iowa, says: 81 have Just
sent some medicine back to my mother in.
the ola country, thac L know from per-
sonal use is the best medicine in the.
world for rheumatism, having used il IL,
my family for several years. 1t is called
Chamberain's Pain Balm 1t ALWAYS
does the work" so ce.lt bottles for sale
by The Chas. Lyle Drug Co.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

90 SteriliZed Malt contains less
!. 4" J: : !:
y alcohol than any malt on the
49, market BY it's sterilization it is
preserved, giving to the user the
benefit of its ingredients in a con-
centrated form without the alco-
a. hol. zoe bottle; So dozen; at
Massie's Pharmacy.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
This Date In History-Aug. Is.

ip2SJohn Earl Russell, prime minister of
Great Britain 1869, born in London; died
1878.
Ho6-Dr. James Beattie. poet, last of the min
strels died ut Aberdeen. Dr. Beattie pass
ed tho closing years of his life in London
in close intimacy with DR.. johnson and
other literary celebrities. His most famous
poem, entitled "The Minstrel" appeared
In 1774.
lS0-Charles Francis Adams, American states
man and diplomat, United States minister
to England during the civil war. born in
Boston; died there 1856.
1SS0-Ellen Kean (Tree), widow of Charles John
Kean and a noted actress. died; born 1906.
lSe4-Colonel John Atkins, editor of The Rocky
Mountain News died at Denver; born 1872
George Parkes, once we'll known actor
died in the Edwin Forrest home. Burton c.
Cook, lawyer and statesman of Illinois,
died at Evanston; born 1919.
1SS-Ex- Justice William Strong of the United
States supreme court. died at Lake Mime.
waska. n. Y; born 1902
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
THE FAIR.

Have you been to the Fair? Now omen
at No. Salem avenue, with an elegant
Inc OF books, stationary, glassware, inks,
pencils, tablets etc. Give us call and
inspect our stock. George Gravatt, Man
a4ef.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

Mr.. c. d. Yonkcr, well-knowp drug
gist of Rowling Green, Ohio, in speaking
of Chmnberlain's Cough Reme.y. saws:
Il take leasure in recommendin il to
my customers, for | am certain that it
will always please them. sell more of
1T than all other kinds put together, "
For sale by The Chas, Lyle Drug Co,
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18
BROWN HANDS LA MODE.

few seasons ago no woman went out
without gloves, and now it is quite the
thing for woman to go without gloves
all summer.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

Those No. Z stoves are new, trimmed
up complete for $3.50, at No. 10 and
40 1-2 Commerce street
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

Those in need of furniture and house
furnishing goods would do well to call at
Donaldson's before buying, as their entire
stock viii be on the market ut cost for the
next thirty days. Mark Reid trustse,
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

A blessing to the sick, comfort to
the well&-Pond's Extract. Don't be
without i5.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

1.-THE Fair''is now open at No. 9 Salem
avenue with full line OF stationary.
glassware, etc. George Gravatt, Mana
ger,
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-08-18

Don't forget everything in the Book
and Stationery line is to he found at j. f.
Rogers, 104 Jefferson street