The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1896-11-04

AAN9pAl klA ANNhSF AaN v 49,
elds,pE. The New Women sat in their
headquarters auxlously trying to figure
tho outcome OF the election. By the
term sNCw Women" IS meant y par
Decentralization OF, political workers, for
there were u dozen candidates for
President In the Held that year. Woman
had broken into politics a, last and she
new sensation was SO delightful that Mt
first nearly all OF the dear creatures
wanted TO be n candidate for the prcs!.
dcncy.
Alot,o OF them lid become candidates.
There would have been more II the
men. the nasty mon, always wanting
to assert the.r authority, had not
crushed a number OF ambitions before
they had come to bloom. Unfortunately
for the women a number OF men still
controlled newspapers and women edit
ed the rest.
Several women--very nice ones. too
had each coGlided to some Intimate
friend that she wanted to be president,
and have her own dear husband for the
first man In the white house. Then the
intimate friend would lock the secret
In her bosouf.t Tho result was thar half
dozen Of the biggest man-manaSed
papers would come out next day with
portal; OF the last woman who want
ed 10 be President. Sometimes the edl-
tors could not get a very late photo
graph of,the fair one, and the result
was not extremely ilatterlng.
Rnf <hlF Nag nnt Mo wnrSt nf II 4
i great number or emancip2ted women
Il had quit editing pie crust. sweet little
y baalcs and home comforts, and had
gone Into the newspaper business
When they heard that one Of thc!r fell
low creatures had announced secretly
HthAt she wanted TO be President. they
rushed to the art departments OF their
papers and Instructed the artist to
make portraits OF the luckless devoted
Z OF modern politics. The result would
: often surpass the fondest. hopes Of
these editors. The next day there would
be Il picture representing the candi-
date-to-be. At that time old and ugly
fashions. IN woraea's clothing far sur
passed those OF the new, and dainty
gowns. hloomers, and other articles OF
dreSs,to judge from the morning batch
eS OF polNlcal aspirants, whose full
!.
Acertala artist who could draw q
picture % q most hideous and old
fashioned poke bonnet was secured by
an eastern paper. edited by Hiss Ser
aph!m. Seerite.who paid for the services
OF this artist 4 sum that caused her
competitors 20 wilt. The balance OF the
papers could only attempt weak imi-
tatfonS OF che work by making all their
pictures by-mcans OF dullei meat ak.
These portraits killed on lot OF the
women aspirants- When these methods
did. not succeed. the Jealous women
would try few cartooRS They would
throw down the paper and weep OF the
cruelty OF woman TO woman. There
were Just half dozen women that
Stood the fire. Six men also tried their
luck. for IL. hateful creatures had MT
yet been subducd. SIX men and six Yo-
men wanted 10 be President
1t did make good deal OF tronblsto
EFT up. twelve platforms, that Is that
amounted TO much. but = party can
always get platform Tbs money is
Sue. free trade. high hats for theatres
free sealskin sacQues. the retirement OF
men from politics and double-seated
boomers. were the principal planks on
which the fight was made by the wo-
men. The men had at first been pretty
badly mixed. but they got UP platforms
after while. The cavorite ones were
no home. no women. and the restar-
alton OF the old-fashIOnel home, three
cooked meals per day and complete re-
stotntoa Of the same Old woman. Tho
party advocating the last three meas
ures'was In the lead.
So much for the situation In which
the political lights OF the United States
shoDts Now, to the headquarters OF the
leading w0man'5 party.A dozen OF the
politicians were talking. 1t was a con-
fused. clarnor, but all were happy. Al
last there was !ull. caused by the
national chairman coming In. She was
attired Jaunt!y. and Was lookin; very
Womaniy. She was delightful to behold.
put her nerve was falling. Big tears
chased each other doTa her cheeks.
II knew the other parties would do
something mean at the last moment"
said she. Il Just met 4 man from the
Home" party-hc IS n very nice man.
too-and he kindly told me to watch
out Tor 4 TooTOack. ] think !tR Mrs,
Gassam, OF the mo Fireside" party.
that got It. I telesraphed 10 all the
modIstes l know. and asked them Il
Mrs. Gassam had got new roorback
They said she had not. | don't know
exactly what IL is. but I am afraid IL
IS something awtully nice. forgot to
have my friend explain what II ras,
1t IS too late TO send 90 Paris for one,
ard 7, am afraid We are beaten.
thought my new bonnet would win the
day, but II that nasty Mrs. GaSsara has
bought a new rooroack I don't Sla
W1Ffs y. ~ fiO Aan Ok
terly. -:
The sccretary then sobbnd out, you
told me to nall those two campaign lies
this morning. Well, tried II, and
Just wish I could have sworn, for
pounded my thumb, nwfully, but there
they both arc. l thought, they would
look incest nailed up on the east wall
where the light would fall on them
clearly. And she pointed proudly 10
two clippings on the wall
You are j sweet. dear. and am
ever 70 much obliged for your nice
WORK. SAID the national chairman, as
she p1tted the golden cuFls Of the gnr.
Rotary. The pttlc secretary felt very
happy. but the rest Of the women did
not speak 10 the secretary again thar
day. '''''
Just then the boss OF the Tcnderloln
district came In. The women all shrank
hack from the painted face, heavy set
woman, on whose every finger cleaned
Ertnt vulgar diamond. Hello rIris :"
said the newcomer. wat, tel Yo,,
look dumpy. Why don't you wipe vour
mug. chairman? No use In erwin. I'yc
got lot OF now girls down my wgy
mat are dead anxious to vote. The mo
IIreHiGn" Sarty Il after them lrot. Lul
guess we can get them II wc nut m