The Portland daily press., 1896-11-03
Bryan's Latest Discovery.
q. B. Mann, in Natiok, (Mass) Bulle-
tin \

Al hcdEly all tu0 TeC6nG 6peeCQe6 OF Mf
Bryan be says the gold dollar Is dishon-
est. 1t is dishonest he thinks because it
has acquired too much purchasing pow
er. He says it is 200 cent dollar, and
an honest dollar is worth only 100 cents.
He presents the proposition therefore,
that we deliberately drop the gold dollar
and use the silver dollar instead If his
statement is correct that the gold dollar
buys double what it ought, 1t necessari-
ly follows it should be supplanted by a
dollar with just half the power. To do
this. Bryan offers the silver dollar, and
hence we are oompe lied to infer that he
thinks the silver dollar has the quality
which will remedy the evil he is bat
thing.
The logic of the case thus put is as per-
feet az logic can be made. But the mo-
ment the orator has convinced all his
hearers that we need half price dollar,
and dominates silver for the place, he
proposes to deprive the silver dollar of its
merits as half price instrument and
make 1t the equal of gold in its power to
purchase.
= Neither he nor his friends seem to be
aware Of the utter Inconsistency of the
two positions, and after starting with q
palpable absurdity, the inconsistency il
nothing but an acknowledgment of an
inner consciousness of the absurdity.
The first proposition was that the gold
dollar is bad because it buys too much,
buys twice what it ought. and has too
much power. Thus the laboring sman
works and exchanges 1t for twenty
pounds of sugar. According to Bryan
that is wrong. Il Is not honest Ii ia
twice too much. He should, on the Bry-
an theory. exchange his dollar for ten
pounds of sugar, and then his dollar
would become honest, but he would
have only half as much sugar. If some
ardent silyerite should set up store in
Dover on silver basis, and offer to rec
tify the financial error of the grocers in
Natick in selling twenty pounds of sugar
for dollar, is 1t supposable that the men
who believe in the doctrine OF Mr.. Bryan
and the dishonest dollar would be seen
tramping home from that town with ten
pounds of sugar in their bags, while
their neighbors, trading with Natiok gold
bugs go hHme with twenty pounds as
the product of the dishonest dollari I
ain very we'll acquainted with some of
the Bryan leaders in that good old town,
but ! must say that know of none that
would make more than one trip to Dover
to show his political faith by practical
example.
Now there were thousands of good hon.
est people who heard the Boy Orator pro-
claim that nonsense and shouted their
delight in the excitement of the CAM
paign who could not be cajoled into 60
ing across the street to buy sugar on the
theory that the grocer would prove to
their satisfaction that he had been giving
them heretofore too much for their dol
lar, and would make them happy here
after by reducing the amount one-half.
As recreation, denunciation of gold
bugs appears to give huge satisfaction,
but toting home only half the usual
quantity of.sugar, -four, pork and potatoes
for the family every week does not tend
to domestic cheerfulness, however much
it enlivens the effulgent soreeds of noun
tebanks and oranks.
A couple Of boys were strolling In a
pasture one day and found two SO gold
pieces. AS the owner did not claim the
Dlunder, they had enough to get each of
them suit of clothes. Luckily there
was no election pending at the time, and
they chuckled good deal that the prices
were each $40 and not SIS. There WASH
~AA
they were to laugh at their LUCK, when
they would have enjoyed the fun so
much more had the pieces been half the
size, and thus obliged them to run in debt
for half the price of the clothes they
bought. Ten year old boys at that day
knew better than to be bamboozled with
that nonsense, though the Populist Town
Committee seems to be greatly charmed
with the novelty Of the idea, and want
tn elect the inventor presidents to reward
him. That is as far az they have got in
this wonderful campaign of education,
under the tuition of the orator of the |
Platte.
knew q man who left to son the |
contents of an old trunk. The trunk |
contained thousand dollars in gold and
the son bought small, comfortable
house with the money. According to the
Bryan theory he got too much. How de-
lightfully nice 1t would have been for
the honest youth had he received 100
cent dollars instead of 300 cent ones, and
gone to live in a $500 house instead of
u, Ooo one And yet the last day l WAS
In Natlck heard full grown man ar
Rulng that gold dollars wore dishonest.
and an injury to the poor. He wanted
the poor man to get the benefit of half
price money. How easily poor mortais
are deluded.