davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14
FirnneSS.

So much is to be gained by mod
Grafton and tirmness of speech, as
opposed to hysterical passion, that
it is worth while for every one tC
try to learn how to control the tongue
and the pen so as to obtain the great.
est amount of influence over others
Strong language is never needed tC
enforce the opinion of a man who is
| firm in his faith, clear in expression
and logical in his methods, 1t is
usually the resort of bullies, of those
who cannot reason, or of men who
are guided by their prejudices rather
than by logical deductions from facts
The objection to strong or intem.
perate language is that it gives rise,
unnecessarily, to contentious oppo.
sition. A radical in religion or poll.
tics takes such extreme views and
urges them so Extensively that he
provokes quarrels, yet never makes
a convert. Another man, just as
firm in his convictions, more mod
crate in giving expression to them
and more considerate of the opinions
of other people, can say substan-
TALLY the same things without irri-
tating those who differ with him.
He does not provoke quarrel, but
invites calm discussion. He thus
has a chance at least of winning peo-
pie over to his views, whereas the
radical drives them off at once.
Moreover, the moderate man may
remain firm because he says nothing
that he cannot maintain, whereas
the radical is necessarily vacillating.
He goes to such extremes that he is
obliged to retract and loses the re-
spect of his hearers because he is
not consistent or firm.
Firmness, it is observed, is con-
sistent only with Intelligent, honest
thought. The ignorant may be un-
yielding, but in their case obstinacy
takes the place eff firmness. One
who has well-settled principles, a
mind free from. prejudice and dis
position to think before speaking,
can be firm in expression and un-
yielding in his adherence to opin-
ions once expressed without being
obstinate. Such a man wins the re-
spect not merely of his followers or
of those who agree with him, but
also of his opponents, aud is much
mOrs influential than the radical who
presents extreme views in strong lam
guage.
Frequently the teachers or leaders
of men are obliged to combat some
movement resting per-
haps on sentiment, and to do so sue
cessfully they must be considerate
of the feelings of those whom they
address, moderate in their language
and yet firm. They would be mis-
if they should use vio-
lent language or attempt coercion,
and would thereby lose influence.
Firmness, GOODNESS, deliberation,
these are the elements that allay
strife and convince the understand
ing. Hot-headedness, extravaganza
of language, ill-considered railing
may stir men to action, but they also
arouse opposition and do nothing
to promote the rational settlement
of disputes.-Baltimore Sun.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14
- .. -

THE PARROT WAS a TALKER.-
A man Of New Bedford, whose niece
had coaXed him to buy her parrot,
succeeded in getting a bird that was
warranted good talker. He brought
it home, and after putting it in a
cage, stood before it and said "Say
'uncle,' PollyI" The bird did not
respond, and after repeating the sem
tence dozen times or more, with no
better success, the uncle put his
hand into the cage, grabbed the bird
by the neck, shook him until his
head wobbled around, all the time
yelling at him, "Say uncle, gol darn
yer, say uncle - The bird looked
limp and lifeless, and the old man
was disgusted with his purchase. AT
last he took the parrot into the yard
where he had coop of thirty chick
ems. Thrusting the half dead bird
in with the chickens, he exclaimed {:
"There, by gosh! You'll say uncle
before you get OUT" Next morning
the uncle went out to see how the
parrot was getting on. Looking
into the coop he counted twenty-nine
dead chickens, and in the corner of
the coop stood the parrot on one foot
holding the thirtieth chicken by the
neck and shaking it until it's head
wobbled, and screaming, "Say un-
Gle, gol darn yer, say uncle ~
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

pi ELLA W IL EEL Elk "lLCON.
There's many house of grandeur.
with turret, tower and dome,
That knows not peace nor comfort,
And does not prove home.
L do not ask for splendor
To crown my daily lot,
But this l ask: a kitchen
Where the kettles always hot.
III things are not all shipshape,
do not fume or fret,
"A little clean disorder
Does not my nerves upset,
But one thing is essential,
Or seems so to my thought,
And that's tidy kitchen
Where the kettles always hot.
In my Aunt Hattie's household,
Though skies outside are drear,
Though times are dark and troubled,
You'll always find good cheer.
And in her quaint old kitchen,
The very homeliest spot,
The kettles always singing,
The waters always hot.
And if you have headache,
Whate'er the hour may be,
There is no tedious waiting
To get your emp of tea.
| don't know how she does it,
Some magic she has caught,
For the kitchens cool in Summer,
Yet the kettles always hot.
Oh, there's naught else so dreary
In any household found,
AS q cold and sullen kettle
That does not make sound.
And l think that love is lacking
In the hearts in such spot,
Or the kettle would be singing,
And the water always hot.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14
Shooting the Hat.

AS we were nearing Henrietta,
Texas, the conductor came into the
smoking-car, in when a dozen men
were seated, and after looking around
he said:
Gentlemen, we shall be pretty
certain to pick up six or eight cow
boys at Henrietta, and they will
come into this car. They are good
fellows as we all know, but rather
wild. For instance, if they should
find any Of you wearing plug hat
they would very likely begin shoot
ing at the hat. Sorry to put you to
any trouble, but thought ought to
tell you about it."
Five of us were wearing plugs. Four
of us made haste to set them out Of
sight. The fifth was a small, quiet
looking chap, who had the appear
ance of COnsumptive. He was
reading a book and enjoying his own
company. He looked up, listened
to the conductor and then slanted
his hat over his ear and went on
reading,
81 thought l had better speak
about it, you know" said the con-
duCtor in an apologize way, as he
fingered.
"Yes, l heard you," was the quiet
reply of the man addressed!'
"YOu--you will keep your hat on ?''
81 SHALL"
1t wasn't our funeral, and so we
had nothing to say. We all took
our seats on the other side Of the
car, and as the train pulled up seven
wild cowboys on the platform
whooped and yelled and came rush.
ing into the car. They took seats at
the front of the car, while the plug
hat man was still seated in the rear.
1t wasn't minute before one of the
gang shouted:
"Look, will you--lsok at that hat ?"
"Shoot it," yelled the second.
"Gimme the first pop !" yelled a
third.
This third man stood up in his
seat, drew his gun and fired six bull
lets into the tall hat as fast as you
could count making six holes which
were plain to view. His comrades
were laughing and applauding when
the stranger put down his book and
rose up, and pop! pop! pop! from
tina pistol in his hand. The cowboy
was still on his feet. A bullet split
the lobe Of his right ear, a second
the lobe Of his left, and the third,
fourth, fifth and sixth cut notches in
his sombrero and sent pieces of felt
flying through the air. After the
reports had ceased the two men stood
facing each other for twenty seconds
without a word. Then the plug hat
man calmly inquired:
"Is there anything more can do
for your crowds"
"You betw heartily responded
the other, who had seemed a bit
daZed, "This 'ere crowd wants to
drink with you and then hev you
learn us how to shoot ~
They rushed over to him and
shook his hands; begged his pardon,
and the man with his ears split ad-
miringly exclaimed:
"Boys, he could have put them
six bullets into my eye, one after the
other, put he just wanted to let me
live to realize that / don't know
enough to hold gun right end fust
Sich shootin' as he did! Yum !
Durn my hide, but l never expected
to see sich fine work, and this is the
happiest day of my life"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.
Notice.

HAVE returned home to remain
L this fall and winter. haye located
III DR.. 5. II. Austin's office, op Main
street, to work at my trade. Work
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction.
Also still continue my oculist business.
WIZ call on any parties who desire
Elasses, If they will let me know.
nave also added to my line Of busi-
ness repairing of all kinds of Sewing
Machlnes. Also all kinds of material
Tor them on hand. All work guaran-
iced. Bring on your machines.
Very respectfully,
j. A. LOWE,
oct. 24-tf. Jeweler & OptIcIah.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

HAVING A SAM JONES MEETING.
"A Houston mother was much as
tonished recently. The children had
gone into another room to play, and
presently she heard her ten-year-old
son say to his young sisters: "You
little fools, you amt got as much
sense as an old hog. If you don't
believe what l say, you can go to the
devil" She grabbed a switch and
cried, Willie!" hut she had pres
ence of mind to sit down and fan
herself when Willie shouted, "That's
all right, ma we're playing we're
having Sam Jones meeting.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

WHY is it that a woman knows
there are heathen in need of assist
ance in Africa, and never notices
that buttons are off her husbands
clothes? An Atchison mans clothes
fell off Of him the other day, and in
explaining the circumstances to a
policeman, he said he had been los
ing buttons ever since last fall, and
that his wife had been so busy with
her foreign missionary society that
she hadn't time to sew them on.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

" LA ME ~ sighed Mrs. Partington,
" here l have been suffering the
bigamies of death for three mortal
weeks. First, l was seized with a
bleeding phrenology in the left
hampshire of the brain, which was
exceeded by stoppage of a ventila-
tor of the heart. This gave me in
hammation in the borax, and now 1
am sick with the chloroform morbus.
There is no blessing like that of
health, particularly when you are
illD
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

KENTUCKY CoRoNER--Yes, the
papers found upon the deceased
prove that he was Col. Blood.
Witness--There was also quart
bottle found in his pocket.
CorOner-Was the bottle empty?
Witness-No, sir, it was full
hadn't been touched.
Coroner-Poor fellow, he must
have died without moments warn
ing.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

Miss KAINTUCK-I want to read
you some quotations from the bible :;
one is in Genesis, Let little water,
pray you be fetched" Here is an
other from Genesis, " Give me pray
thee, little water" And here is
one from Kings, " Fetch me, / pray
thee little water that may drink"
Colonel Kaintuck--Yaas, l see.
Even in those days they asked for
only a little water.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

TENDERFOOT-You have q salu-
brious climate here, 1 believe?
Woollywest-Tol'abIe for some
folks.
Tenderfoot--What are the most
frequent causes of death, according
to statistics
Wal, six-shooter, Ireckon. Little
knifin' an some Winchesters but
they amt nothin,' after all, that gets
around the six-shooter in a pinch.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

WANTED TO GET EVEN.-Mr.
Cltlman-Well, Uncle Jehiel, we
have enjoyed our visit to you exceed
ingly. Pm sure the children never
had a better time in their lives. |
want you to call on us next winter,
to let me repay your kindness. I'm
Gle Jehiel-Wal, / don't know as
me or the old woman kin git up to
you, but if we don't, I'll send up
five or six of the mule colts. low
they would do about the same dam
age round the place that your boys
has done here.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

DON'T USE BIG WoRDs.-In pro-
mitigating your esoteric cogitations,
and in articulating your superficial
sentimentalities, amicable philosoph-
ical or psychological observations, be-
ware Of platitudinous ponderosity.
Let your conversational cOmmunica-
tions possess a clarified conciseness,
a compacted comprehensibleness, a
coaIescent consistency and a concate-
mating cogency. Eschew all con-
glomerations of flatulent garrulity,
jejune babblement and asinine affec-
tatiOns. Let your extempOraneous
discantings and unprecedented eX-
patiations have intelligibility and
and veracious vivacity, without rho
domontade or thrasonical bom5ast.
Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic
profundity, pompous prolixity psit-
taceous vacuity, ventriloquial ver-
.bosity, and vanilOquent vapidity.-
Shun double entenes, prourient jo-
costly and pestiferous profanity, OBJ
scurant or apparent. In other words,
talk plainly, briefly, naturally, sensi-
bly,, purely and truthfully. Keep
from slang; don't put on airs; say
what you mean, mean what you say,
and don't use big words.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

INSIDE VIEW OF MORAL SUAsIoN.
old Gentleman-Do you mean to
say that your teachers never thrash
you! Little Boy-Never. We have
moral suasion at our school. What
is that?" "Oh we get KEEP in,
and stood up in corners, and locked
out, and locked in, and made to
write one word thousand times,
and scowled at, and jawed at, and
that's all -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

A CLERGYMAN, a widower, re-
Gently created quite a sensation in
his household, which consists of
seven grown-up daughters. The
reverend gentleman was absent from
home for number of days in an
adjoining county. The daughters
had received a letter from their
father, which stated that he had
married widow with six children,
and that he might be expected home
at a certain time.
The effect of the news was a great
shock to the happy family. There
was weeping and wailing and all
manner of naughty things said
The house was neglected, and when
the day of arrival came, it was any.
thing but inviting.
AT last the Rev. X. came, but he
was alone. He greeted his daugh,
ters as usual, and as he viewed the
neglected apartments, there was 6
merry twinkle in his eye. The
daughters were nervous and evi
IDENTIFY anxious. AT last the elder
mustered courage and asked:
"Where is our mother 2"
In heaven" said the good man.
But where is the widow with si>
children whom you married ?"
Why, l married her to anothe
man, my dears," he replied.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

THE MOTORMAN-Yes, Pm a
Yale man. In the boat and on the
nine. I'd have had that conductors
place if it hadn't been for making
change and adding up.
Passenger--Who is your conduc-
tor.
Motorman--Oh, he's Cornell
man. They study arithmetic at those
small colleges you know"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14
POETRY
MEN AND DEEDS.

Men, not systems. fit and wise
Not Faiths with rigid eyes.
Not wealth on mountains piled,
Not power with gracious smile.
Wanted, men,
Wanted, deeds
Not words of mincing note.
Not thoughts from life remote,
Not fond religion airs,
Not sweetly languid prayers,
Not love of scented crceds.
Wanted, deeds
Men and deeds,
Men that can dare and do,
Not longing for the new,
Not prating Of the old.
Good life action bold:
These the occasion needs
Men and deeds.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

"lAMnot rich, ,"he said, "but ifthe
devotion of true and tender heart
goes for anything with you, dear
Clara" cit goes we'll enough with
me, Mr.. Spoonhill," interrupted the
fair maiden, with pensive look on
her sweet face. but how will it
go with the butcher, the baker,
the grocer? Those people must
be considered you know"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

How NAILS ARE NAMED.-TwO
accounts are given of the origin of
terms sixpenny," "eightpenny,"
tenpenny," and SO on, as applied to
the various sizes of nails. Accord
ing to one statement, when nails
were made by hand the penny was
taken as standard of weight, and
six were made to equal the weight of
a copper penny. The explanation is
open to criticism on account of the
very small size of the nails, (which
six were needed to balance even the
the large sized old fashioned copper
penny. Others are much more prob
able. One explanation holds that
tenpenny nails originally sold
for tenpencc hundred, siXpenny for
siXpence hundred and so on, the
the smaller nails selling for the lower
price. Another explanation is that
1000 nails of the tenpenny size used
to weigh ten pounds, 1000 of the six.
penny size six pounds and so on for
other sizes. OF the ordinary six.
penny nails there are eighty to the
pound; Of the eight penny there are
fifty; tenpenny, thirty-four twelve
penny, thirty-nine.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

Mr.. STAYLATE-I AM now going,
Miss Sufferin--
Miss Sufferin (aside)---Thank
heaven
Mr.. Staylate (continuing) TO tell
you about a little adventure. (She
drops dead.)
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

MARIE--Is Mabel jealous Of her
husband
Nellie-Jealous / should think
so! Why, on the wedding trip she
wouldn't even let him admire the
scenery.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

FATHER Why is it ye're
never at work, Mulvey? Mulvsy-
'Tis from economy yer riverance.
Economy, ye lazy divil 2" Yis;
ye see, whiniver Oh work Oh always
git terrible thirst yer riverince,
am whin Oh git thirst it costs more
to quench it than what Oh earned git
inc IL -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

n VISITOR FROM SPIRIT LAND
Who's there ?" shouted the occu-
pant of the hotel bedroom as he heard
noise in the corner of his room.
There was no answer, and the queer
noise stopped.
Anybody there ?"
No answer.
cit must have been a spirit" he
said to himself. Il must be a me-
dunn. | will try. (Aloud): If
there is spirit in the room, it will
signify the same by saying 'aye'--
no, that's not what mean. II there
is spirit in the room it will please
rap three times"
Three very distinct raps were
given in the direction of the bureau.
" Is it the spirit Of my sister? ?"
No answer.
Is it the spirit of my mothcr-in-
law ?"
Three very distinct raps.
Are you happy?"
Nine raps.
DO you want anything ?"
a succession of very loud raps.
Will you give me any communi-
cation il | get up?"
No answer.
Shall | hear from you to-mor-
row ?"
lie waited long for an answer but
none came, and he turned over and
went to sleep.
Next morning he found the spirit
OF his mother-in-law had carried of
his watch and purse, his trousers and
his great coat.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14
NUMBER 81.

Work on the big transmitter
which will carry the roar of Niagara
Falls to the Electrical Exhibition at
New York city has been begun
The funnel which will collect the
sound is erected on the point of the
parapet right on the brink of the
falls. 1t is six feet in diameter at
the open end and the other closes in
around the mouth of the specially
constructed microphone. The roar
of the falls will be carried from the
transmitter by copper loop 500
miles to New York, and can be heard
by person who at the same moment
is watching the fall of water by Edi
sons wonderful kaleidoscope.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

IT is small things that count in
the battle of life. have seen men
get out of an elephants way with
out any trouble, but they had ter
rible time getting rid of flea.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

"Did you put those buttons on my
trousers ?" asked the husband.
"No, dear" returned the wife.
have not had time. / have been
all the afternoon at the sewing club"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

AN Ohio woman is the mother of
five boys at one birth. Is it possible
that the coming Ohio man is coming
on the Indiana system-in blocks
of hve?n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

ALGY-Now-now, Miss Giddy,
suppose should try-try to kiss you.
Miss Giddy--Don't think of 1T,
Mr.. Gosling; you are so agitated
that am sure you would scream!
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

WHY do you call your cottage
Sea View,' when you are a mile
away from the water ?'' Because
we can see the beach with telescope,
from the cupola."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

A FUNNY MIsTAKE.-The Rus
selville Herald vouches for the truth
fulness OF the following story:
A Logan county farmer, suffering
intensely from pain in the back, was
forced to his bed. His young son
coming into the room, the old man
directed him to take from the man.
tel a bottle of liniment and apply il
to his back. Having so said, the old
fellow turned oyer on his face and
prepared for the rubbing. The boy
who proved to be unfamiliar with
medicines, mistook bottle of ink
for the liniment, and proceeded tC
give the old man sound rubbing as
directed. The old man, who de
clared that he felt better right away
said "That IS the best liniment ever
used" After putting a nice glossy
coat of black on his dads back, tht
boy went away and the old mar
dropped off to sleep. The mex
morning he woke up, and, looking
around and seeing black on his side
said, MY God, wife, believe
am mortifying."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

Mrs. BLOoMERNEw (aggrieved)-
Ferdinand, there is button off my
boomers.
Mr.. Bloomernew (sighing)-Well,
my dear, you must know that after
attending to the housework, washing
the children, sweeping the porches
and making the bread, your poor
husband has absolutely no time to
himself
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

BRowN--Why, Smith, your wife
died after all, did she not?
Smith-How did you find that
out?
Brown knew it the moment l
saw that happy expression on your
face.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

Be assured, sir, that in loving
your daughter am wholly altruistic,
Her dowry is nothing to met will
go to my creditors"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

81 HAVE found you out at last -
cried Mr.. Caudle, as he awakened
suddenly and saw his wife searching
his clothes for cash.
"Yes, dear, and 1 have found you
out-of pocket" sweetly replied
Mrs. Caudle.
Mr.. Caudle did not continue the
conversation. He had hidden the
money in the toe of his shoe.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-05-14

"As / understand it, doctor, if
believe Pm we'll, I'll be we'll. Is
that the idea ?'
sit is.n
"Then if you believe you're paid,
suppose you'll be paid"
Not necessarily"
" But why shouldn't faith work as
we'll in one case as in the other 2"
why, you see, there is consider.
able difference between having faith
in the Almighty and having faith il
YOu.O