The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-03-01
Mr.. McNerryhinalr's Cont.

The Reverend Tibcrius McMerrybingle
was tie minister 81 Rapidau LOT many
years. His grandfather had died or rheu'
matisr1 at the age Of cighty-two years.
His fother's life was shortened by muscu-
Lar rheumatism wnen that gentleman nau
reached ninety years. When IlpeIlus ~,
M0rybngle married Miss Irvine ne tol'
her that those OF his family VINO dlo not
inherit profanity. inherited rheumatsn
THOUGH his face looked as II II would
CRATE Il cocoanut, his wife early TOOK pre-
cautions against rheumatism. IS lar ~
possible she made her husband wear F'u
;1nnnel She Knit red scarf ana a par
of rcd wristbands, and dyed bis sccks
rcd. .
Mr. McMerrybngle bought . suit o.
clothes. and fhe coat was soon lined win
rod flannel and he was compelled 20 wear
II whenever the weather was bad or We
moon had a ring about II. when the
frogs began to croak in the spring OF
the wear Mrs McMerryhiugle knowing
the sign for rain. compelled her husband
to wear the fannel-iined coat
Under this cor slant use. the coat ffSteH
only two years, but nevertheless n con.
siderable portion Of IL was aVaiianie Io'
patch cloth. The coat was pensiOned tC
the same hook 10 which il had been as
signed when IN use. Two crescent sh"-'-
ed pieces were cut from the back Of the
coat to patch beneath the arm or MI
McMorrybinglos ovcrcOat Beneath these
cresceut-shaued pieces. TWO orhicniaF
pieces had been eat 10 patch the chhlt
of his riding trousers. ana Neiucd.i. p,.
low these q bOat-shapcd picct Ndd hefn
taken TO supply mat portion Of n coat
which q calf had eaten The red iihhi.i.
which showed conspicuoLslN. gave 70 INC
upper half of the coat the appearance or
a maus face painted IN red on nack
one morning Mr.. McMorrybinsle rose
early to 20 To a distant church IL was
dark. and by mistake he put on me Goa
from which the patches had been taken,
over this he put Bis overcoat and siaftec
for ride Of twenty miles. he was 10
spend Saturday night a. the house OF
Mrs TIghtfOot when De went 10 ms
room he found what be had done. lie re.
solved to inform his hostess that OWING
to severe cold. he would Keep on MS
overcoat -.
she thought the room WAS cold. Shc or
dered more wood 10 be put on the IRE.
and gave Mr. McMcrryDinglc Il seat 50
near the ere that the varnish on hi.
chair made the wood look as u It hac
broken out with chicken poX. Jne
parsou was soon swollen with heat. tie
felt as IL the burning shlft OF Nessas
was on his back. His handkerchief could
not absorb the perspiraiion from his brow
The next morning q servant came 10
bis room bringing hot lemonade ana qui-
nine At breakfast Mrs. Iightoot was
much ANNOYED 10 find her guest wearing
he overeoat. The dining-room was heat
cd like furnace and when some boil
ing tea I'm ts ehullitOn took the wrong
road 10 Mr. NcMerryhneie's stomach me
parsOn seized the opportunity 10 cough
Violently. and left the room for moment.
10 cool OF
The church was heated 10 the tempera-
ture of a college ieCture-foom. so that
the wasps thought summer was approach
ing. and came our of their paper houses;
Several came TO the mOurner's bench and
confessed their sins. As the parsOn con-
cluded his service. he came down from
the pulpit. and told how Jacob had de-
ceived Isaac with q coat: and then how
when Jacob was Old The sin was yet
upon him. because his sons brought
bloody coat and said It was joseDh's coat
lie thin confessed the lie he had told and
took a seat upon the mourners. bench,