Evening star., 1896-01-04
THE WOODEN-LEGGED GOOSE.
STORY.

VlOuu
"Eh-yahi It shore takes all brands of
people to fill up world" remarked Alkah
Ike in a reminiscent way to the inquiring
and credulous tourist, who had been lavish
with his cigars and other things good for
man, in establishing an intimacy with the
festive Isaac. But reckon the quaintest an
most original gent that ever I had the
pleasure of meetin' up with was a Teller by
the name Of Rawson. that used to be min
glin' around in the settlement, sorter cas-
ually referrin' to his wooden-legged goose
stcry.
This yere Rawson never comes yere at
all, that I know of. He's jest yere an
snook down an settled as If he has alwers
been present, the first anybody is aware of
him. An his wooden-legged goose story is
as much part of the town, the first any
body notices it, as the public square or the
lynchin' tree is. 1t never dawns on us at
all, but is ancient history from the start,
similar to some old maids you meet up
with that pear to have been born with
spitty curls an pervadin' horror of the
yrunt man.
Thar hain't no first time when the rest
OF us hears this yere tale of his'n. 1t never
has no beginnin' before the time when
Rawson is in the habit of sayin' that
suthin' or ruther sorter reminds him of
that thar wooden-legged goose story which
everybody has heard time an agin. An
thar never was time when 1t wasn't fash
ionable to answer him that we'd heard it.
1T got to be regular proverb in the set
tlement AS old as Rawson's wooden-leg-
ged goose story was much a standard
sayfn as Don't keer If 1 dor is, all the
world over. The schoolmaster used to
write 1t in the children's copybooks, an
the Rev. Jack Jonks used it in his sermons
occasionally. 1t peared in the columns of
the Clarion quite frequent, an in the courts
every now an then. 1t was as much a
standard measurement Of age as wrinkles
On a cows horn.
"Rawson alwers allowed 1t was old to
everybody. an everybody agreed with him.
An am sanguine that 1t would have been
Eoin on in the same way right now If 1t
hadn't been for a tourist, who poked UP his
head one day an asked how Rawson's
wcoden-legged goose story went anyhow.
He'd heard quite numerously about the
story, an he wanted to hear the yarn it
self.
wal. the man he asked about it said
fe'd forgotten 1t, an so did the next nine.
Then these yere ten men each asked several
rad forgotten it. too This started the in
curry, an 1T pervaded its way clear through
the settlement, an every man, woman an
child in the place had forgotten the story.
Ffrally, two honest men-me an another
feller-got together an by feeln' around
found out that neither one of US had ever
feard 1T at all. Away went the inquiry
agin, and bime-bye the fact was unearthed
that nary soul. large or small. in the set
tlement had ever heard it.
at 'peared that everybody had been ac-
customed to believe that everybody else had
heard it. an had let it go at that rather than
to pear to be SO almighty far behind as not
to know what was stale an antique to ev-
erybody else. Rawson was away at the
time, an before he got back the settlement
had been ransacked an shook up from po-
tat hole 10 front porch. an right smart
Of the claim holders an farmers in the
county had been raked over, an it was set
tied that nobody, from the least to the long
est. anywhurs. furabout or near, had ever
heard the story.
'Wal. when he comes back, Rawson is
welcomed like prodigal son. an the wood
en-legged goose story is asked for. He hens
an haws around, says that everybody has
heard 1t till they're, tired. that 1t lis so old
he's ashamed to tell it agin, an so on. We
keep pesticatin' with himstiil finally he gifts
his back up and declines 10 stell-the story
any at all. Thar is a sayfn' that you can
lead hoss to water, but you can't sorter
commence to make him drink. an you may
think it Impossible to make man tell
story when he bows his neck an refuses to
recite It. Rut we figgered some different,
an after Rawson had p'intedly swore he
wouldn't tell that thar story We conspired
"Accordin'.s one Saturday night, several
prominent .citizehs-including myself-es-
corts this yere perverse an bull-headed man
on temporary constructed platform, with
the moose end Of 1ariat aro,fnd his neck,
an several able-bodied members of1he re-
form committee attached to the other end.
The word has gone round the settlement
that Rawson is goin' to git off his jestly-
celebrated wooden-legged goose story, an
everybody is thar present, similar to feet
shampeter.
''The event has been announced at the
close of the school, an the scholars is unani-
mously thar. Fond fathers bring their chill
dren, an dotin' mothers is present with
their infants in their arms-, Miss Gladys
Mork rounds up her Sabbath school class
an Col Handy Polk shappyroans a gang
of personally-conducted eastern tourists.
The Rev. Jack Jonks is conspicuous. and
four amiabl gents brings poor sick man
on his cot an locates him whur he can't
fail to see an hear 1t all. Around the out
skirts of the assemblage the farmers
brfm. an everybody standin' up, SOS not
to miss any of it. 1t is considered valuable
object lesson to great an small to behold
the perdickymunt that obstinacy an bull
headedness will git man into
Col. Handy Polk steps forward an makes
Few appropriate remarks, an then an
nounces that our friend, Mr.. Rawson, will
now endeavor to entertain us with his
famous wooden-legged goose story. But
Rawson r'ars back an declines to turn a
wheel, let the chips fall whur they happen
to, as the feller says.
I've done proclaimed, repeated an fire.
en-legged goose story whatever says he
an. by the jumpin' gee-whillikins I'm a
man of my wordi That thar tale remains
right whur it is atr
"'Oh, I reckon you are sorter laborin'
under misapprehension, as it were Raw
son. said Col. Polk. The Vox Populi an
nounces that you are goin' to tell it, an
thar Is every indication that you are. Let
'er go, gentlemenv
"Accordin', the reform committee heaved
an Rawson left the bar'l an clumb up in
the air about three feet, with the assist
ance of the rope, an then came slowly
down agin. while the crowd, an even the
sick man, smiled in happy anticipation
But when he arrives at his bar'l agin Raw
son is still that onnacherlly obstinate, he
rubs his Adams apple doggedly an de-
clines to unbuzzom himself of the story
any at ALL
Next time they drug him up a little
higher, an kept him up a little longer,
also without success. The third time thew
runs him up they pause to give him a