Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1896-10-22

!
milking stool when we ought to be or
e our knees, why, I goes in for the win
ming party"
Don't look so shocked, mother ex
t claimed Rudolph, the blue-eyed, young
7 er son. I'VE shall have to have little
charity for Malcolm this morning, il
he is little irreverent. faint to be
:, expected, is it that a fellow is quite
himself after taking a squint at love
, letter."
: "Oh, rats, Say, pa, didn't hear you
say something about having a girl?'
said Malcolm.
''Mm-h-m-m.'
We'll, now, won't that be jolly"
, Has she got red hair? Where did
: you find her-at the intelligence of
fice?"
Mr.. Cantwell divided a potato exact
ly in the middle, sprinkled it lavishly
with the sugar he should have put in
his coffee, and absently placed one-half
of it in his mouth.
Il s'pose | may as we'll own up first
as last" said he, as soon as he had dis
posed of thebi g "cud" sufficiently to
admit of speech. She'll be here pretty
soon, anyway, and then the cat will be
out of the bag. I run across her in the
warerooms Of the Cloverda1e cooper
ative creamery!'
Run across her, You did! Poor
thingr'
"Oh, yes, but she was gritty, and
didn't pretend to mind"
! Mrs. Cantwell, who was in no mood
to enjoy the light banter, left the room
a moment, to recover her composure.
She had ben ten minutes trying to
swallow bit of bread, but somehow
her esophagus was INSTRUCTED by a
lump of something that grew more and
obstinate.
/ Mother looks pretty we'll down at
the mouth, don't she?" said Rudolph
'StraLge too, isn't it? | should
think, now, she'd be just dying of JOY
to see a dozen COWS drop right down
into her butter bowl. And she loves
a hired girl so, too-just dotes on them,
you know. Now pa, haven't you
/ served her pretty rough? Nothing
! personal, you know-only thought I'd
inquire incidentally"
Come, boys, you don't know. You
amt so old as you will be. What you
! bet your mothers face won't be COW
cred ali over with smiles in less than
I half an hour?"
Bet my old hat against the new
girl said Rudolph.
| Shut upr' said Malcolm You
shan't have the new girl. I'm going to
have her. I'll make mother laugh
now, in less than five minutes, now
you see, eff I have to kill myself to do
! it."
/ Mother" he began, the moment she
appeared. "OId Dave was out to meet
ing last night"
WASP"
Yes, and he spoke, He sat there
all through the service, sober as Mt
Grimwood cemetery Just as meeting
was over, the parson invited any who
might desire to stop and ask him any
questions they wanted to about the
sermon, or anything. Dave Green got
right up and said he'd heard that Par
son Goodwin was a master hand at
answering questions, and there was
one that had been bothering him for
good while He'd asked a good many
smart ministers, but he hadn't found
any one smart enough to answer that.
| suppose the minister had noticed old
Green's seriousness in service time,
and thought perhaps there might be
some hope for the old sinner yet Any
way. he signifed his willingness to
answer, to the best of his ability, the
i momentous question.
How old is the devil? said the old
heather. But he'd hardly got his sa-
tanic majesty fairly out of his mouth
when the minister, clapping his hand
on Dawes shoulder"
"Shock him good for Parson Good
win"
"Thc court objects to such unseemly
levity, Brother Rudolphus. AS I was
saying, the parson laid his hand"
Times most up"
'On Dawes shoulder, and said, just
DIS quick as wink. My dear friend
Don't bother me about your family
ord. I haven't any time to tend to
such things
That's what we were expected to
laugh at, was it, interrupted Rudolph,
gravely.
THE people had look daggers at
Dave, but when that answer came out
Don't bother me about yonr family
record there was some pretty tall
smiling around in that part of the
country; now, l tell you, Dave, he Just
reared I amt afraid of the evil one
he said, but l should nightly hate to
get into tussle with your Hurrah,
Rudolph! No very great job to cut you
out, was it? The girl is miner'
There she comes now, by George"
laughed Mr.. Cantwell, as heavily
loaded express wagon ratified up to the
door. 1t contained what seemed to
be a great box, some six or seven feet
long. Guess so! Your eyesight must
be getting poor, pa-don't seem to be
much girl about that" said Malcolm.
Mr.. CantwelFs shrewd blue eyes
glistened in a way that showed NAL
collins charge 70 be SANDER on their
executive ability, as he rubbed his
hands together gleefuly.
That's the girl, all the same-my
other women you know; the maid to
do the extra work.