The evening times., 1896-05-20
he PUZZLED THE JUDGE.
Theodore Scrivener's S Slang Was
All Greek to His Honor.
GIVEN ONE MORE CHANCE
The Prisoner Seemed Sincere In His
Desire to Reform. and the Court
VIII Help Htm-JOhn Rynn's
"Chews" Fitted Badly and Led Him
to Drink.

A young sparrow pursued this morning
by a vicious S bird OF the same species flew
for refuge into the police court. 1t nut
tered over the Gagged birds in the dock and
encircled the room several times, perching
once on the judges desk, chirpiDg feebly at
his honor, and finally landing in Lawyer
John Ciarke's lap.
Mr.. Clarke gently took in his hands the
frightened creature, with its heart almost
bursting through its gray feathcred breast.
Mr.. Clarke walked outin the ha!land showed
his captive To Mike Flynn.
..Shure, Jawn'' said the soft-hearted
policeman, you're not going To kape the
chreeture?'
NO." replied the lawyer. releasing his
hold Oh the bird, and watching 1t sail
swift as a swallow to the fast-falling rain
and freedom outside.
"Oi say, Jawn," said Mike, "d'ye
know some tonne / look at the poor trap
ped birds in the dock, an wish l could
give 'em the glad hand loike that sparrer
got"
MIKES PREFERENCE.
Mike" said Clarke, smiling at the police
mans true Irish sentiment, every day
ammore and more convinced that you should
have been a lawyer, and made fowery
speeches TO obdurate jurynen."
Mike made an uucomplimcntary compar
lson bet ween Ia wyers and spiders, and said
he preferred the glorious privileges OF ba-
tons and brass buttons.
The court room yesterday was a Sahara
of heat, but today it was u refrigerator of
EI,+np fa
was wearing cobwebs, aud the owner once
more his heavy Uniform.
Faith, Mr. Pugh," he said, TO the prose-
cutting attorney, this weather is maxim
jude out of me. I'm changing me clothes
livery day"
Moses Barry got out OF the workhouse
and was in police court this
charged with being an habitual
irunkard by Policeman Clifford, who
brought Moses landlord, Paul Connorsr in
court to substantiate the charge.
Mr. Connors said Moses was drunk last
night. This statement Moses denied.
Judge Kimball sent him down for i've
days.
Judge Miller held in the case OF Katie
Keegan that there was no law in the Dis
5rict covering such an offense. Mr.. Pugh
has argued on the same grounds, but Judge
Kimball holds differently, and that is why
Moses will have his liberty restrained until
Monday.
THEODORE Is A REGULAR.
For once Theodore Scrivener played in
great luck He is ore OF the regulars and
i is seldom he escapes u sentence. Yester-
day Policeman McGrath found him drunk
on paupSylyur,in nypnue aut trpupbt him
n on the Old, old charge OF vagrancy.
Theodore listened carefully while Clerk ,
Harper read the Information charging hin~
with being a vagrant since the first day OF
April.
stop right there cried Theodore. II
was in the workhouse then" T
When did you get out?'' asked the
court.
This day week, your homer
"The 13th?''
.'Yes. Sir"
The judge picked up his pen and in a
iiffy changed the time to the l 4th Of May.
Mr.. Harper read the paper again, and
Theodore mounted the stand. He is u tall,
wiry individual, with queer marks under
his eyes like the rings around a turtles
cold orbs. The fine net WORK OF black and
red veins on his nose shows an intimate
with the cup that both cheers
and inebriates.
Your HONOR said Theodore, "since I
got out of the workhouse up to yistdy
never teched drop. L went down to the
ire, met some of the old gang, hit one
)all, and
.one ball. what's that?, asked his
honor.
That's a drink explained Scrivener.
. Well. took one and then another and an
other, until got drunk. You know judge,
when take one I've got to have a hun
ired.''
"Yes, and 1t is a sad fact" said the court.
HE'LL STOP FOR A YEAR.
"Now, judge" said the man, speaking
very earnestly, 'if you let me off this one
time, III stop drinking for a year.
Theodore, wish l could believe you,"
'eplied the Judge; Indeed, ] do
"well, I'm, willing to try If you give Inc
.he show"
There was ring of sincerely In Theo-
lore's plea that appealed to Judge Kimball.
II WILL he said, making up his mind
quickly. "You have been out short time.
md I'll take your bonds. But shall be
greatly disappointed if you are not back
acre in three days"
Not on your honors life returned Theo-
lore, hitching up his trousers and listening
to Clerk Harpers voice as he
ratified off the formula of accepting per-
'onal bonds.
Il hope So" concluded the judge, as
Theodore passed out quickly.
DRUNK AND PROFANE.
Closely following scrivener was another
,ld-tiiner, John Ryan, arrested for pro-
'anity by Policeman Morgan. John was
lot only profane, but very drunk, and.
gave the officer a sound cursing when
lie was arrested.
He gave a very original explanation OF
lis conduct on the stand.
Yer anner,'' said John, bowling pro-
oundiy, "the whole trouble was caused
~ Inc new pair av chews.
whats that" asked the court, puzzled
to know what "cbews' meant.
HE means Shoes" explained Kendig,
proficient in every dialect that is aired in
.he court.
"Ah. that is it," said the court. leaning
1a ok in his chair and sizing up Mr.. Ryan's
No. 10 brogans. Now go on. Ryan, and
ell me how your shoes got you in trouble"
"They hurt me feet. an 1 wint up agin
| few drinks to make the pain aisy''
why didn't you take them off?''
l.Fr>t-