davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30
His Third Punishment.

The story is told of a missionary
been unfortunate with his wives"
This missionary had married at
home and taken his wife with him
to India. There after two years, she
died, and the broken-hearted
widOwer received permission from
the missionary board of his church
to come home.
Here he promptly consoled him
self, and with his second spouse re-
turned to the field Of his former
labor. But fate was still unkind,
and at the end Of year he was once
more bereaved.
Again he sought the permission of
his board to return home, but this
time they gently but firmly declined,
saying they did not feel justified in
giving him two holidays within two
years. They suggested, delicately,
however, that if his desire was to re-.
coup himself for his recent loss, it
was possible for him to deputize a
friend to secure for him new part
ner of his joys and sorrows. This he
accordingly did and, after consider
able correspondence and Sundry de-
lays, the twice-boreaved widowcr re-
cieved word that the bride selected
for him was on her way to his arms.
The day the steamer was signalled
the bridegroom-elect went down to
meet it accompanied by married
friend. On the return of the latter
to his house, he was pounced upon
by his wife, who demanded all the
particulars of the meeting.
"Did Doctor Smith seem much
overcome when he saw Miss
Brown ?" was the first question.
Well-yes-a little"
" Wasn't he overjoyed ?"
"Well-overjoyed is not just the
word, perhaps"
Why, didn't he say he was de-
lighted ?"
" Well-no-not exactly"
But, at least, he seemed
pleased ?"
Well 1 don't quite know"
" For mercy's sake, tell me Just
what he did 90 and say"
Well" with evident reluctance,
" when he saw she was at the other
end of the deck, and she was pointed
out to him by the friend she had
travelled with. Smith looked at
her for minute, and then he passed
his hand over his eyes, and 1 heard
him murmur audibly:
Red hair for the third time-and
after so much prayer.'"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

A SNAKE STORY Here is a
snake story from Bechuanaland pa
per which we do not remember haV-
ing seen before.
A BarbertOn man, who goes to
church regularly, was one day walk
ing along the banks of Concession
Creek eating sandwich. and on ac-
count of the usual disparity be-
tween meat and bread, he threw the
redundant piece into the water
Immediately swarm of yellow fish
bubbled around it, fighting for the
mouthful. The man searched his
pockets for fishing tackle, but ali IN
vain, and was just beginning to die
of despair, when his eye lighted on
a blaCksnake.
AT that moment he remembered
how his father used to tell him
that blacksnakes were very expert
in catching fish. He therefore grab
bed the reptile by the tail, carried il
to the river. and held it over the
struggling fish. The snake proved
itself a born angler, and in the course
of an hour the man had forty-nine
fish. a few days later, as he was
walking in the same place, he fell
something rub against his leg, and
looking down, he saw his friend the
blacksnake, eager for more sport.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

THE BRIDAL CHAMBER" We
can let you have the Bridal Cham
ber," ventured the genial hotel clerk,
as he rubbed his hands aud looked
confidently across the register at the
yOungish couple, says Truth.
That is very kind of YOU" re-
piled the young man, as he drew a
nervous flourish beneath the aobrevi-
alton land wife," and laid down the
pen. g But we contemplate re.
maining ten days or SO, and you
might need the room."
You will not be disturbed,
assure you," continued the clerk
land the apartment is a lovely
one"
" Airy ?" asked the young man.
" AS to that" and a gleam of in
tense pride surmounted the clerks
race, " will say that the room con-
tains seven windows all opening up
on tiny verandas."
The young couple look at each
other. Then the young woman
spoke.
" don't think that we shall care
for that room. You see our three
children will be here with their nurse
In the morning. They can clint
like goats, and Pm sure they'd be
falling off those verandas inside OF
fifteen minutes"
'front.'" murmured the clerk in
voice that betrayed deep emotion,
Z" show this gentleman and his lady
up to the sky floor and have the
maid put the nursery in ORDER"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30
POETRY.
SPRING.
Spring comes dancing DER the noun

Spring comes dancing DER the noun
tains,
Full Of hope and JOY and bloom.
h lsslng into life the fountains
Freeing natures heart from gloom
Gally down the misty meadow,
In It's vernal robes arrayed,
Followed by train of beauty
- Trips the merry-hearted maid.
See her as she stops to mingle
w 18th the grasses here and there,
Violets Of blue and purple
Taken from her golden hair.
See her as she lightly dances
BY the brooklet wild and free.
Planting on its dimpled border
Lilly bells for you and me.
To the distant, dreaming woodland,
Now she quickly hies away,
Clothing it with leaf and blossom
Changing winters night to day.
Flowers in her pathway gather,
While the birds, in glad surprise,
MARBLE notes of love and welcome
TO the queen Of sunny skies.
Now, beside fount she fingers,
And the while she gently sips
In return the conscious waters
Drink the nectar from her lips.
Gratefully they praise the giver,
Gladdening her heart with song,
AS, to kiss the winding river,
Fairy-like they glide along.
Streams and birds and blooming flowers,
All their grateful homage pay,
And shall Man--her charms unheeding--
Fail to laud her while he may?
Can there be heart so selfish
That it may not gladly sing
Once again the songs of childhood
At the coming in of Spring?
Blessed Spring How pure pnd holy
Are the joys thou bringest here
How delightful are thy footsteps!
To my soul thy form how dear.
"Tis unknown how much / love thee;
Love thy wealth of golden hair,
And thy face of angel beauty,
With the gems that sparkle there.
Oh, if thou could st linger nigh us
With thy merry smiles and flowers,
Earthly ills would quickly vanish,
And a paradise be ours
Glowing Summer, Autumn, Winter,
Each their golden treasures bring
But to me there's none can equal
Those that gild thy path, o, Spring
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30
81 COULDN'T help it, papa"

"l COULDN'T help it, papa"
She looked into his face with her
frank blue eyes, and it was impossi-
bic to doubt her.
But you didn't seem to be pro-
testing very much," said the old
gentleman.
But it was so sudden, papa, that
/ couldn't" she insisted.
"Tell me about it,n he said.
Well, he adopted very clever
ruse, you see. He got me to look
the other way, and then, before
knew it, he had kissed me on the
cheek"
"The scoundrel 7"
1t was wrong of him, Of course" :"
"What did you do then ?"
was very angry. / told him
1t was an insult.
Indeed it was and you should
have ordered him to leave the house
Did you?"
MOO; not exactly.
well, what did you do 2"
81 told him it was an insult, and
he must take it back"
And then?"
L" He was just taking it back when
you came in and saw him."
-..s..s~
SHE (sadly)--Well, if we must
part, let us part friends. Goodbye
| and may all that's good go with you
He (decidedly)-If all that's gooC
went with me, you would not re
main here. Then she smiled anC
laid her head upon his shoulder
and he remained
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30
NUMBER 40.

SHOUTED AND GOT TIT.-Foreipn-
erS say that Americans are remarka-
BILE for suffering without protest, the
the rule Of social tyrants-landlord
car conductors, walters, and other
puollc servants. Few Americans
would have done what Sir Francis
johnson once did.
he was Chief Justice of the Su-
perior Court of the Province of Que
bee, and on one of his circuits i'm the
the eastern township during the win
ter put up at country hotel. The
night was very cold, and the hotel
proprietor was not eXtravagant i'm
his fuel supply or in the weight of
his blankets.
Tho Judge put over his bed cover
lngs his heavy coat and other clothes,
but still found it impossible to sleep.
1t was after midnight, and no one
around to make fire. The Judge
arose, and, putting on his slippers
and dressing gown, went into the
passage and shouted with all his
power:
Fire! fire! fire!n
In few seconds the whole hotel
was aroused, and the proprietor,
painting and scared, ran to the Judge
and screamed:
Where is the fire? Where is
it?n 10
The Judge, with twinkle in his
eye, replied:
"That's what Pm trying to find"
a good fire was soon made in the
hall, and the rest of the night was
passed in comfort.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

INDIAN AND MAGICIAN.-"N
ing so completely mystifies an In
dian," said Captain Particle at the
Officers Club recently. Gas to wit
ness the operations of some timer
ate sleight-of-hand performer, many
of whom find their way into the
sparsely settled portions of the
Northwest. where they are always
sure to reap a good harvest. Prof
McAllister, the magician, once Wis
tied camp of River Crows on the
Yellowstone, and, after extracting
various packs of cards and other ar
ticles from the ears, necks, noses
and garments of the astonished In
dians, was invited to a big feast Of
roast dog and other delicacies. The
Chief was so impressed by the great
medicine powers of the professor
that he took him to his wigwam, in.
Producing him to his daughter, Miss
Wicista-Neeta (meaning Wild Cat, J
and offered her for a wife at the low
price Of two ponies. The feast and
daughter were both declined, but az
McAllister was leaving the tepee he
spied lean, yellow cur. He asked
the Chief how much he would take
for the dog, at the same time strok.
ing the brute down the back to the
tail length and each time taking a
handful of money from the end OF
his tail.
Him very valuable dog said Nc
Allister, picking a coin out of the
dogs eye and another out Of hi:
nose. Two ponies for him, Chief?
The Indians, with eyes as big a.
saucers, stood in awe and astonish
ment and shook their heads. Afte
McAllister had gone they carried
the poor dog down to the river sid,
and cut him open; but the goose hat
no golden egg, and they went SLOWLY
back to camp as completely dumb
founded as human beings can posi-
| bly, be-"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

A MAN on Capitol Hill had been
outrageously insulted, IA he thought.
He felt compelled to call his enemy
to the field of honor but was re-
strained by the thought of his wife
and children. All day the affront
ranked in his bosom. AS he neared
home, thinking every second fwhat
he would, could or must do, he hap
pened to think of his wife, and it
dawned upon him like sunburst
that she might be able to help him
in his difficulty and suggest sooth-
ing balm to his hurt honor.
With this new thought urging him
on, he FASTENED into her presence, as
soon as he jumped off the car, and
kissed her.
He did this thinking that possibly
by this time Tomorrow evening he
would be beyond the power of foscula-
ton.
Naturally, this unusual demonstra.
ton surprised the good woman.
They had been married 10 years.
Why, Henry" she exclaimed,
what is the matter with you? You
seem strangely excited"
Ii was a minute before he could
control his voice sufficiently to use il
for talking purposes.
am" he fairly snorted. 81
have been insulted."
How? Who did it ?" and his
Wife's spirit arose.
"By scoundrel who came into
my office this morning. / have
nursed my wrath all day and now
have come to you for advice. Wha,
would you do if a man would tel
you to go to the devil ?"
AS he strobe about the room he
kicked over table, two chairs anC
the cat.
"Why, Henry" she replied after
the impulsive manner of woman
and with the utmost sincerity, {"
wouldn't CO."
Then he sat down and concluded
that good wife's advice was an an
chor TO windward in the husband.
most tempestuous moments.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30
4" HAROLD ~

HAROLD ~
The indulgent father of the young
man who had just gone through col
lege laid his hand on his sons shoul-
der.
Harold" he said. 81 don't be-
grudge dollar of the thousands l
have spent in educating you. have
supplied you literally with the
means to enable you to fit yourself
for any career. IF you fail 1t will
not be my fault. am still willing
to help you in any way you reasona-
bly, ask. You have had long course
of preparation for success in life,
and now it remains for you to say
what vocation you will choose.
Don't fear to aim high, my boy.
What shall it be?"
Touched deeply by this evidence
of paternal pride and devotion the
young man answered.
If can have my way about it dad,
L think I'd like to be a retired
army officer on half pay"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

LORD TENTERDEN one day, at
his own table, asked country mag
istrate if he would take venison.
"Thank you, my lord, boiled
chicken" was the reply. His lord
ship had contracted an inveterate
habit of keeping himself and every
body else to the precise matter in
hand. "That SIR" said the judge,
" is no answer to my question. 1
now ask you again if you will take
venison, and l will trouble you to
say yes or no without further pre-
VaricatiOn.o -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

WHEN Colonel John Jacob Astor
was coming back from the Atlanta
Exposition with the rest of Gov.
Morton's staff at Manassas the
engine broke down and the engineer
could not repair the break. Col.
Astor came forward, looked the en-
gine over and then, getting down on
his hands and knees, crawled under
it. He worked away for few min
utes, while the engineer looked on,
and then crawled out and said that
the break was repaired. The engi-
neer was incredulous, but an exami-
nation showed him that the engine
was again in condition to continue
her trip. "Do you know who that
man is?" a bystander asked the en-
gineer. "Some official of the road"
he replied. "NO. He is John Ja-
cob Astor." "Oh. g'wan," said the
engineer; "don't give me anything
like that" Later, Mr.. Astor re-
that he knew enough about
locomotive engines to build one.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

SOLOMON LEVI-VOt vos der
matter, Isaac? You looks down in
der mouth.
Isaac l vOs the victim of terri
bic act of injustice, Solomon. An
Irishman comes into my clodings
store and trades me S25 parrot for
a suit of clothes. De clothes cost
me 80 cents. / hangs de parrot out
by de door and pretty soon along
comes an Irish procession. De par
rot shouts Shoot the Popep S'help
me if it didn't cost me a hundred
tollars to get new front in mine
store.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

A GENTLEMAN in Washington who
has for years made practice Of
gathering personal anecdotes of
veterans of the war, both of the
Northern and Southern services,
once asked a friend if he had ever
killed man that he positively knew
of. "Yes," said he remorsefully,
lone. At Bull Run ran atIthe first
fire. A rebel chased me ten miles,
aud then was so exhausted that he
dropped dead.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30
Amusing Slips.

Hetrophemy, the curious disease
which consists in using one word
when meaning to use an entirely
different one, gives rise to many
amusing combinations. An old lady
in town on the Hudson River is
thus afflicted, says the atlantic
NOnthly. She was tall and stately
in appearance, courtly and gracious
in manner, and this makes her in
congruOus sentences all the more
ridiculous. Strange to say, she her
self is totally uncOncious of her in
trinity, for the family, friends and
even the servants tried to save her
from the modification she would
feel.
Not long ago, when she recovered
from a serious illness, the bishop of
the diocese chanced to be making his
annual visitation, and at the request
of the rector they went together to
call upon Mrs. Drew.
She was delighted to see them. and
entertained them with her usual grace
and Cordiality. The conversation
naturally touched upon her illness,
and her thankfulnesS at her recov-
cry, which for time had been de-
SPARED of.
Presently she turned to the bishop,
saying, earnestly. - My dear bishop,
let US have a little drop"
The startled prelate glanced at the
rector. He, knowing his old friends
infirmity, cast about in his mind for
her probable meaning.
Bishop" repeated the old lady
seriously, "let's have little drop"
Certainly, Mrs. Drew" inter
posed the rector, waiting for her to
make some move which might dis
close her meaning. But Mrs. Drew
waited expectantly also.
"1fyOu have not your vade-mecum
with you, there is a prayer-book,
she said, after moment.
The rector, with a sigh Of relief
turned to the bishop. "Mrs. Drew
will be glad to have you read
prayers with her," he said quietly.
Prayers were read, and then the
gentlemen prepared to take leave.
Your visit has been a pleasure"
Mrs. Drew said, warmly. Now,
Mr.. Belknap, won't you take
this boy home to your dear wife,
with my best love.
For a moment Mr.. Belknap won
dered if she could mean the bishop,
but she relieved his mind by lifting
magnificent bunch of roses from a
vase on the table.
Allied to this is another form of
to which most of us are
occasionally subject,-the exchange
Of syllables. A certain young lady,
who, to her intense modification,
often reverses her vowels thus, says
she is entirely unconscious oft even
after speaking.
One summer evening she was
with friend towards the
village postoffice of the little town
where they were staying. On the
way they encountered an acquaint-
'nce with handful of letters.
All, good evening"" she said, in
Ter peculiarly gracious, sauve man
Ter. "Are you strailing out for
your mole?"
The mystified young woman made
IN inarticulate reply and passed on.
As soon as her friend could recover
Ter gravity, she gasped, " l suppose
you intended to ask Miss May if she
vas strolling out for her mail ?"
The same young lady was relating
. sad story of various misfortunes
which had overwhelmed dear
friend.
"Think," she concluded, pathet-
cally, "of losing husband, children,
property and home at one swell
'oop!" And a howl Of laughter
'ent the roof.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

The GAMBLER PROSPERED..-A
gentleman Of Dayton, o., tells a
good story Of gambler of that city
who had made large fortune out of
saloon and faro room. Last win
ter he was in Florida with some
friends and visited church where a
few poor colored people were en-
gagged in worship. The roof leaked,
and the pastor prayed most fer
vently that the Lord would prepare
way to repair the roof. Then a
collection was started, the pastor
saying that special blessing would
be asked for all contributors. One
good brother put in dime.
"a dime from Brudder Jones.
De Lo'd bless Brudder Jones'"
Then quarter was received.
Brudder Johnson a quatah. De
LO'd bless Brudder Johnson"
The collection reached the gam
bier, who had been big winner the
night before, and flashing his roll,
put u $40 bill in the hat.
The almost breathless collector
said: What's de name, sab ?"
Never mind the name. am a
gambler from Ohio"
&c blah from Ohio, $780,"
shouted the collector.
The pastor rolled his eyes up, and
raising his hands, said, in a voice
choked with emotion:
"Twenty dollahs-gamblah from
Ohio. May de good Lo'd bless and
prospah de noble gamblah from
Ohro."
The gambler says he has prospered
ever since.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

MRS NEwRICHE Extraordinarily
Were any Of your ancestors men of
note. Mr.. Cynic?
Mr.. C.-Yes madam, I should say
so. One of them was the most fa-
nous admiral of his day, and COM
manded the allied forces of the
world.
Mrs. N. with altered tone of deep
respect)-Is 1t possible, Mr.. c.!
And what was his name?
Mr.. C.-Noah, madam
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

A BROTHER of Bishop Clark was
one of the wittiest men alive, 1t
ran in the family. He once went to
see one of his parishioners, a lady
with a prodigious family, which had
been recently increased. AS he rose
to leave, the lady stopped him
with;
But you haven't seen my last
baby"
mo-" he replied, "and 1 never
expect to-" Then he fled.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

Two years later came the resiyna-
ton of Terry as Chief Justice, be-
cause of the duel in which he killed
Senator BrOderick. Field succeeded
Terry as the Chief Justice Of the
State Court and from that position
he was taken by President Lincoln's
appointment to the bench of the
United States Supreme Court. Only
Few years ago the paths of Field
and Terry crossed again, and Terry
was killed by United Statas deputy
marshall who had been detailed as
body guard to protect the Justice
from apprehended assault by his old
enemy.
Mr.. Justice Field has been no dead
head on the bench. With his long
service is identified some famous
legislation. He gave the casting
vote in the famous test oath case
soon after the war. Ho wrote the
opinion of the court which annulled
the " irOnclad" oath. His dissent
ing opinions in the confiscation cases,
in the legal tender test and in the
New Orleans slaughter house litiga-
ton are classics in American law
literature. OF the fifteen distin-
guished men who formed the Elec.
toral Commission which gave HAYES
the presidency over Tilden by a vote
OF to I, nineteen years ago, only
two are in active life to-day. One
is Senator HOar of Massachusetts,
and the other is Chief Justice Field
1t is hardly necessary to say that the
latter was one of the seven. In the
next presidential campaign, Justice
Field was put forward as a candidate
for the presidency. At the National
Democratic Convention in Cincin-
natl in 1889 he received 65 votes on
the first ballot.
And now, when it might be sup
posed that the mind would lag as
steps, Mr.. Justice Field is one of the
most active participants i'm the pro-
ceedingS of the court. No one of
the nine follows the arguments with
closer attention. No one asks more
questions. No one carries to his
home and brings back to the con-
sultati0n room a bigger bundle of,
briefs, as the faithful messenger who
accompanies Mr.. Justice Field at all
times can testify. In the court cir
Gle there is rumor that the memory
of Mr.. Justice Field occasionally
fails him. The story which IL
lustrates shis is that recently a law
yer in arguing a case read from va
rious authorities, and in the midst of
one citation was interrupted by Mr..
Justice Field with the remark that |
what he had just read was nonsense |
from legal point of view. Inquiry
showed that the authority so sweep
ingly condemned was nothing less
than an opinion of the Supreme
Court Of the United States, which
MIR. Field had himself rendered a
quarter of century ago. The story
may be true or it may be one of
these Jokes which certain waggish
members of the court like to set in
even at their own ex-
DenSe.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

JOSH BILLINGS says, Most men
will concede that it looks foolish to
see boy draggin' heavy sled up
hill for the fleetin' pleasure Of ridin'
down again. But it appears to me
that the boy is sage by the side of
a young man who works hard all the
week. and drinks up his wages on
Saturday night,D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

A REPORTER calls a woman who
had buried four husbands "mari-
tai quadralateral." This Is good !;
but why didn't he say a four-cor-
nered widow, and then everybody
would have understood him.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-30

THE UNEXPECTED.-"H How little
we know what is in store for u.s."
murmured the cabbage, as it hurled
through the air. "A month ago
never dreamed of going on the
stage,n