davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
HUMOROUS.

The chickens don't deserve any par
ticular credit for going to bed early;
everything they can gobble goes to bed
before they do.-World.
And Bring Them Down.-"And now
the fellows are kicking about ths
stecple-crowned hats the ladies are 60
ing to wear this season!" "Well, if they
only kick high enough it will be all
right."-Detroit Free Press.
Needs Attendin' To "Josiar," )" said
Corntassel's wife, "the roofs aleakin'
again." "Is it?" replied Mr.. Corn
tassel. swell, I'll investigate it to.
morrow" "Josiar, don't read news
papers fur nothin'. That roof don't need
investigatin'. 1t needs attendin' to-
San Jose Report.
Many thing. look queer tAs Arss
time We see them. Tive-year-old
Freddy was showing the young min
lister about the place. His yel.fre-
qoently glanced up at the Hind face'
and then rested with = look Of txeuhooa
inquiry on the pointed toesef the Plcea'
d1ly hecls. Finally h blutteh ont ~
anxiety IN the question:: "Ain't you
got but one etoe?"-Babyhood.
--Hullo. Fatty" said the Copybook
to the Dictionary. "Hullo, Thinny!"
retorted the Dictionary. you're j
wordy person, Fatty" said the Copy
book. You're an empty thing, Thin
n.y." said the Dictionary. ''Bound to
have the last word, ch, Fatty! "sneercd
the Copybook. 'Need it in my bust
ness, Thinny," said the Dictionary. and
the Umbrella in the library corner
laughed SO hard that it bent one of it
ribs.--Harper's Round Table.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15

darkness. Aunt Abbie really looked
frightened.
-It's-onlJ-as!.- 9lsreda -ssEs -8sEs. JfiIi
ejecting water from his mouth. while
his teeth .chattered.
.Us!' repested Nr. T.ia. ~Well.
who's 'usr and wha1-NAy. e it isp1
Bert and Lawrencsts szss
sWhy. they are dripping wet aii
overi" cried Mrs. Trask.
"Why, boys!" exclaimed Aunt Abbie.
'What does it al mean?" demanded
Mr.. Trasl<, in . tone that admitted Of
nothing but the simple truth In reply.
.Why-we-we-wa to scare
auntie," said Lawrence, with chattering
teeth, ''and we fell into the rain water
barrel!"
WANTED to scare me?" cried Aunt
Abbie. swell, that's great way to do
ito go to plunging into q tank Of ice
cold water with your clothes on at nj
most midnight. But am scared
scared most to death lest you take .
dreadful coldi Get out of those wet
clothes and into bed just as soon N
ever you can. while mix you up hot
drink. Wanted to scare me! Humph!s :
"But we did scare you, after all. ." said
the boys; and to this assertion they
clun9 ever afterword.-Youth's Com
poniOn.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15

never seen : pumpkin ghost, and prob
ably she had never heard OF one.
They slyly got the pumpkin ready
In the barn in the afternoon. In the
evening they went to their room, and
ostensibly to bed, as usual, 1t half-past
nine. No one In the house knew Of
their plan but themselves, and they pro-
posed to slip out Of their room and out
Of the house without arousing anyone.
The root Of : shed kitchen sloped
from the window stills Of their room to
within about nine feet Of the ground.
They decided to climb quietly out OF !
window. slip down over the kitchen
root to the caves. and drop lightly to the
ground. Then they would get the
pumpkin from its place Of ooncealment.
light the candle, and. - Bert said. .sthe
fun would begin"
Bert was to carry the pumpkin, and
- intended to wrap himself il sheot
NON his bed to odd to tho trightfulness
of his appeaxance. Lawrence was to do
most q The groaning: but in the end
o0e sToensd about q much as the
othar.
1hs nightwssv very dark and unusual
" cold. even for late October. It had
Esined little early IN the evening, and
The kitchen root was vet. Bert and
1awrence shisered ~ they climbed out,
ons behind ths other, fully dresssd,
6eEt cas.ying his sheet rollsd np undeg
~ cost TAey 1hiyeTed maGe MI nego
~ 1cQDog 1h4Yy 11geegb
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

William Morris, whom the world
usually thinks of @ nm artist and poet,
is practical printer and the inventor
Of q printing press which has turned
out the most beautiful work, technical
~, of the day.
Lord Dufferin is fond Of telling how
he once accosted Disraeli in the lobby
Of the house of commons and asked him
to recommend a novel. "Wlen want
to read a novel," said Dizzy, Il write
one"
Lord Beaconsield's brother, Ralph
Disraeli, is living. He bears no resem-
blance to his distinguished brother and
has always lived a quiet, retiring life.
having been for many years q clerk in
the house Of lords.
M. Got, the great French comedian
and dean Of the Theater Frnncais, IL Mt
present engaged in writing his memoirs.
Like Bernhardt and Patti he will leave
nm account of q most interesting life
that will be of great value to all lovers
Of art.
Alfred Belt, Cecil Rhodes, Barney
Barnato and three other luck y investors
in "Kaffirs" are reported to have cleaned
up $l95, 100000 among them, which
doesn't seem to leave much for several
thousand other fellows.
A large unmber OF hymns and
other poems in Charles Wesley's hand
writing were recently found in o pile
Of old documents at the Wesleyan Con-
ference Office in London. Many Of the
poems are political and relate to the
American revolution.
Edward Simmons, the artist who
designed the decorations for the new
criminal court building in New York,
rejects the idea Of blind Justice, and
has depicted that deity with both eyes
open. holding her scales in one hand
and the American flag in the other.
The rapidity with which Lord Rose
bery has aged during the last year il
illustrated by the fact that the portrait
of him, begun by George Frederick
Watts over q year ago, the sittings for
which were interrupted by his lord
ships official duties and i'll health. had
to be entirely repainted after his res
ignation from Office.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
Rassanlne Hogs.

When hogs arrive 1t the proper aeo
for fattenin9 It ID very important that
they be in healthy. thrifty condition.
This b necessary II no food II to b
wasted. Ration must be = GOOD one.
must be given regularly. and under -
favorable conditions - possible. II the
animal has been fed for some time with
slops. and has had the run Of . good
pasture and change t0eoen. or . good
fattening ration. the change should b
made gradually. In feeding now corn
especially it will pay to commence with
. small quantity at first and gradually
increase - they get accustomed TO the
feeding. Only sound, nutritious food
should be given. Il II useless 10 expeet
that . hog will b able to convert any
kind Of food into healthy. sweet pork.
The food must bs good II the meat i
good After An animal has been put
on = full fattenin9 ration all reasonable
care should be taken to see that full
ration II supplied st each meal Give
the fattening hogs Ill that they will
eat mp clean at each meal. bat NO more,
and the more fully this Il done the bet-
ter will be the gain In proportion -
the amount Of food supplied, and let
the ration b = fattenfnR one II hno4
always necessary or best 10 feed ~
corn. even when fattenin9. A variety
Of food viii give rother bsttsr results
than any cae ration. ard wfll keop
with bo4aas anpo11te Al doarenae
the liabllity - dissaoe Oh neal oo9
- =. zsnus
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15

Bert WIS in advance Of Lawrence
when they climbed out upon the roof.
No sooner were they fairly on the wet
and almost icy roof than they began to
slide down much faster than they had
expected or desired, and they found it
impossible to slacken their speed or TO
lessen the noise they were making in
their hurried, somewhat rolling de-
scent.
Down they slid, vainly grasping at
the roof or trying to stay their progress
by bracing their heels on the shingles.
1t was Of no avail
Look out for the rain-water barrel" :"
shrilly whispered Lawrence, when they
were within three feet of the edge Of the
root.
But It was too late to look out for any
danger. Under the caves was . hugo
barrel, or tank, set to catch rain water.
It partly took the place Of a cistern,
since it was large enough to hold sew
eral ordinary barrels of water.
It was also quite large enough to hold
three or four boys the size Of the two
Trask boys; and now, although It was
full of Icy water to the very top hoop.
it w>s suddenly called upon to receive
Bert and Lawrence within its depths,
Down they came, Bert shooting swim,
" over the edge Of the roof and Law
renee aiding Al swiftly after him. Both
landed with mighty splashes and loud
screeches in the tank Of water!
Bert struck In . sitting position and
went down entirely beneath the water,
while Lawrence went In only up to his
ears.
The ground sloped little away from
the tank; and, as the boys had both
landed heavily on the side Of the tank
next to the slope, they overthrew the
big receptacle and were swept out on
the ground in one mighty wave that
buried them beneath 1t for an instant.
All this made . great deal Of noise.
Lights appeared suddenly in the house
and Mr.. Trask came quickly to tho
kitchen door.
"Who's TINT? What's the trouble out
here?" he asked, sharply. ANSWER me
quickly, or I'll shoot!"
His wife and Aunt Abbie stood be-
hind him, holding lamps and wrapped
in bedclothes and peering out into the
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
FUN FOR YOUNG FOLK.

4 Deu Party Il Great Sport and Offers :
Wide Field for Ingenuity.
Parents too often forget that they
were once young and liked amusement.
A mother Of my acquaintance, with .
house full Of young people. is . shining
instance Of one who remembers.
She lately gave . unique party. which
was a most successful affair. The invi-
tations were sent by little Chinese and
Japanese dolls, Of the kind sold on the
street at two for Ave cents, which are
already dressed in gay oriental gar
ments Of paper. In the sash tiny en-
velope was thrust, addressed to the per
son to whom the doll was sent and con-
tanning an invitation to q doll party, the
receiver being requested to come in .
costume personating = doll OF some
sort.
One OF the most amusing features OF
the evening was q row of paper dolls,
dressed in white and leaning against
the wall, with hands joined. To do this
well one must contrive to drive every
bit Of expression from the face, and b.
the aid Of powder to assume ghastly
complexion.
An ingenious costume OF gray Jaeger
underwear, drawn over the shoes and
stockings and sleeves, with short skirt
and waist Of gray silesia, made very
rood rubber doll, but the belle Of the
evening was . turbaned black Dinah.
OF course, In most cases. mashs arr
worn. but these can be dispensed with
early in the evening. A prise y given
TO the one who can guess the identity
Of the greatest number. There y :
field here for any amount Of ingenuity.
Al this was In . suburban town. the
invitation dolls were delivered by mes
aeneer.-St. Louis Republic.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
BONDS OF OFFICIALS
. Abs1rdltiss Of the ExlstlnG 0yatem II
Department ut WashlngtoM.

Abs1rditlss OF the Exlstlng syatem Ii the
Department At WashlngtoM.
Some treasury department officials
have been making some interesting dis
coveries in the method OF bonding pub
lie officers. One hundred and six thou
sand officers arc under bond to the gov
ernment, the amount involved being
more than $l63. 3.OOO,O 900. Most Of these
officers. 10000 In number, are post
masters. There are c1s under the treas
ury department. being such officials ~
collectors of customs and surveyors.
There are 261 officers under the war de-
partment, including paymasters, quar-
termasters and surgeons; 29S in the
navy department.; 500 under the inte-
rior department., and 500 under other
departments. One of the curiosities is
that no army engineer officer il under
bond. The eight army surgeons give
bonds amounting to $160, 900. while the
engineer officers, who handle millions
Of dollars for river and harbor work, do
not give the government any security
other than their oath as army officers.
The army officers who are stationed
at military schools and who are respon-
slble for secondhand guns and a small
quantity of ammunition give bonds
amounting to more than 81 ,000. 900. The
disbursing clerk in the navy depart
ment, through whose hands pass the
vast sums paid out for armor, warships
and gun forgings, furnishes bond Of
but $4,000. The 81 quartermasters
who handle funds give bonds amount
ing to nearly 81, ,5OO, 900, while the enyi-
neer officers in the same service, who
handle sums greatly in excess Of that
disbursed by the quartermasters, are
unhampered by any such requirement.
Fortunately, there have been but few
failures among engineer officers proper
ly to account for public bonds placed in
their custody.
Officers are bonded without regard for
the responsibility or risk incurred.
Thus, the assistant treasurer In New
York is bonded for $500, 900, while the
treasurer in Washington il bonded for
$15O,0OO. II the amount involved in
their respective Offices were considered
the amounts Of the bonds should be re-
versed. Neither of these officers could
get away with any money of the govern
ment. They would have as much
trouble in actual defalcation AZ Secre-
tary Carlisle himself.
It has been suggested that regular
scale of bonds for subordinate employees
be adopted, SO as to relieve leading off,
cials Of financial responsibility for the
dishonesty of employees. The postmas-
ter at New York gives a bond of $780,
O0O, while a subordinate cmploye may
commit an offense beyond the post
masters power to prevent. for which
the latter's bondsmen must be unjustly
held accountable.
The department is in favor of discon-
tinuing personal bonds and substitut-
ing therefor the bonds Of trust compan
les organized to do this character of
business. This substitution, it is esti-
mated, would result in an annual saving
to the government - about SO, ,000.-
Philadelphia Pres.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
swEETHEARTs ALWAYS
u eweethearts were sweethearts always,
Whether N maid or wife,
No drop would be half a peasant
In the mingled drauxht or life

Il eweethearts were sweethearts alwayx.
Whether N maid or wife,
No drop would be half a ps.asant
In the mingled draught or life.
0ot the sweetheart has smiles ana hlushe1
When the wife has frowns and sixhS,
Ano the wires have Q wrAthful glitter
For the glow OF the sweetheart's eyes.
tfIovers were lovers always.
Ihe same to sweetheart and wife
VINO would change for q future OF Eden
The Joys Of this checkered life?
But husbands grow grave and silent
And care on the anxious brow
OFT replaces the sunshine that perished
With the words OF the marriage vow.
HAPPY IL he whose sweetheart
Il wife and sweetheart stiu.
Whose voice. ~ OF old, can charm him:
Whose kiss. n OF old. can thrill:
Who has plucked the rose to find ever
1ts beauty and fragrance increase.
AZ Hush OF passion II mellowed
In loves unmeasured peace.
Who sees In the step lightnesE
VINO nnds In the form Z grace:
Who reads an unaltered brightness
In the witchery OF the face,
Undimmed and UNCHANGED. All. happy
u he crowned with such . life!
Who drinks the wife pledging the sweeN,
heart,
And toasts in the sweetheart the wife!
daniel OConnell. In Domestic Monthly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
FOUND AMONG THE RUBBISH


Cheek for = Fortune That Lay In Waahr
ingten ssoreFoom for Moatha
"Did ever enlighten you with the
story of . great find once mades ~
said an old government clerk to Post
reporter day or two ago.
During the war. and for some time
afterward." he said. Il was a clerk In the
war department.. Stanton, AZ you
know, was chief of that office, and .
mighty Big Injun' he was" put in the
story teller, by way of parenthesia
''and Lafayette C. Baker, dead now
these many years. was chief of the gov.
ernment secret service. In this capa.
city he was paramount in authority.
He had unlimited power and unlimited
means. He could do whatever he
pleased with the persons and property
Of citizens Of this great country, and
Stanton always sustained him. The
arrests and incarcerations In dun
geons and jails that were made by his
orders were legion, and when he made
an arrest he captured all the papers
and documents he found on the unfor.
tunate devils premises, from . child's
primer to = deceased grandmother
last will and testament. His bureau
mean his official apartments were
filled to overhowing with books and pa-
pers and documents Of all sorts that he
had seized from persons suspected OF
disloyalty. After Baker left the de-
partment, after his death, in fact, an
immense mass Of refuse was gathered
up by order of the Judge advocate gen
eral and carried into q spare room Of
the division in which was employed
and literally dumped on the floor. and
there they lay for months, punched uK
like, well. this bunch of decaying leave.
just here ut our feet" said the gentle
man, stirring up the scattered leaves
with his foot ~ he illustrated. hia
simile.
"One day I was directed to look into
this mass Of papers and put them into
some sort of shape for examination, will
view TO their final disposition. Itwaa
not part Of my current work. It waa
not thought Of sufficient importance
for interference with regular duty, bu,
I was to 60 at it At my leisure, 30 I oper,
ated in . sort of perfunctory way untr
one day received u sort Of thousant
volt shock by finding In the pile . draf,
ON the Bank Of Montreal for 12.O0(
some hundred and odd dollars in gold
This, assure you, changed the char
acter of the search and made Il inter
esting. I, Of course, went ut once t.
the chief Of my division and startled
him with IN exhibition of the wealth
lying around loose under his very nose
The chief clerk Of the department waa
made acquainted with the circumstan
ces and the whole matter reported t.
the secretary. The result of it all wal
that the bank was communicated with
and it was asccrtained that the draf
was genuine to the core. The money
1t called for was still in the bank
vaults awaiting the order Of the owner
He. poor fellow, had gone on thu
journey we all must co. He was q
Kentucky man, and died In tho old
capitol prison where Baker had p1seet
him. he left children, howeveE, anf
they benefited By my discovery. Ans
n n,. = Gospel writ. .-isait
- Posts h1b9mnnk = Sfl.G5ke&
0nok - - y - 8 h c.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
Msaassss = C.stie Yssa-

In recent issue Of tho London Pm.
duce Markets Review, It II stated thst
cold weather having set in at m early
date this year has improved the de-
mand for common sugar and low grade
molasses, or treacle, for cattle feeding
purposes, and n both forms arc OBJ
tainable st extremely low prices, it -
surprising that , larger use II not
made Of this highly desirable addition
to the ordinary winter food This jour
nal continues TO say that on the COR
tinent, where the beet pulp II largely
and cheaply obtained, there II m ex-
tensive use Of IL for feeding purposes,
while IL has been estimated that in tho
year 1924 NO less than one hundred
thousand tons Of beet molasses weae
disposed of in that way. In England,
where cane sugar - % cheap, the
preference has been given to It, and Il
seems to injure animals less by scOur-
ing than does the beet sugar or bsst
molasses. Planter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15
LESS TRUTHFUL
This IL . Mans Assertlon In Regard q
Women Comnnred with Men.

This 10 . Mans Asssrtioa In Regard "a
Women Compared with Ms1.
A man who has made a study of wom-
en- and their ways remarked the other
day that women are, as set, less frank
and truthful than men. Whatever
truth there is in this assertion we may
be sure it is at least not innate, but
due to the difference in the require
nents of the two sexes, and the con.
sequent difference in their education
Men are taught to reveal true natures
from the cradle to the grave. Men are
taught that, being human, they are
subject. to various passions and liable
10 fall into error which it is not neces-
sary for them to conceal, for II they
deviate from the straight and narrow
path the world will quickly forget and
forgive. Women, on the contrary, are
taught that = they are not inwardly
statues Of decorum, they must make II
appear that they are. for the world
il merciless to one Of their sex who by
word or deed hints that the smallest
tottering on her pedestal, not to men.
ton even . monentary descent from it
In possible.
In short, women are required to con-
ceal their real human selves from oil
beholders . absolutely Al they conceal
their lower limbs in the conventional
draperies Of femininity. while men are
AZ free to reveal their real selves to the
world rs to clothe themselves in the
neither garments of their sex. but CON
cealment, or lack Of frankncss, is by NJ
means untruthfulness. - Philadelphis
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-15

chara ctef. She
ssss visiting It her brothers house In
the country, and he'd been unwise
!. enough t. hast, in the pressnce Of her
$40 nep;. aws, Bert and Lawrence, that
she .wssn't afraid Of anything" And
now Bert and Lawrence intended to Pnt
her courage to test
This was with her full knowledge;
she had said that they might do 90 it
they were willing to suffer the consc-
qucnces. They had laughed heartily
Ut this, and declared themselves quite
willing to run all risks.
Aunt Abbie's list of brave deeds In
cluded an actual encounter with bur
Clar found under her bed. She had on
this occasion produced little pocket
ristol from her bureau drawer and kept
the man prisoner under the bed until
help came in response to her calls, and
he was captured. So the boys gave up
trying to hide under her bed and pre-
tend that they were burglars.
She had once killed . large rattle
snake at a picnic, when every other
woman present was screaming or faint
ing. Snakes were therefore Of no use.
Moreover, she would 60 long dis
tances alone on the darkest night; she
would 60 down cellar or up into the
attic ut midnight without = light and
without fear. She had been known to
walk through burying ground alone
at IL o'clock on q dark and stormy
night.
So had once slept alone in . house
- was reported to be haunted, and
T. eome forth n the morning deelar-
1n9 that she had ~slept likes top"
She was mot afraid even Of . mouse.
.-Aert and Lawrence felt that they would
Aave to exercise III thsir ingenuity -
9et MP AZ thing that ssoaiu startle
Aunt Abbie.
But at last they hit upon . plan.
Their aunt had lived all of her life in =
city, seldom visiting the country. She
knew almost nothing 1t all about coun-
try sports. Some grotesque thing that
she had never seen might frighten her.
It was in the fall Of the year, and
Bert and Lawrence finally decided to
try the effect Of . pumpkin ghost"
on Miss Abbie. A pumpkin ghost" !"
sometimes called jack-o:lantern, il ,
pumpkin followed out, with holes to
represent eyes, nose and . grinning
mouth cut in one side Of it. When =
lighted candle is placed inside . pump
kin cut in this way, and the pumpkin Is
fastened to the end of long pole, the
effect ID startling enough on q dark
night.
And the night was as dark n = stack
of black CATS when Bert and Lawrence
prepared to sally forth with their
pumpkin ghost. They proposed to
hoist it before Miss Abbie's window,
and then make all sorts Of dismal
noises. They were quite sure she had