The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-03-29
WHATNATPRUNEHEARD
A MAN WHO KNEW ALL ABOUT
ELECTRICITY AND SILVER.
When We Get Free Silver, Every Silver
Dollar VIII Buy Two Gold
Ones.

surroundings. IL ne thinks that any one
is listening he will be on his guaro' am am
tut on extra touches and the IKE anu
YOU really cannot tell whether he means
what he IL saying or not. But 'usl ioe
two persons who arc not adopts IN 'nc
art OF conversation, begin TO pariey WHEN
they are pretty sure that no one Is us - -
ing, and the portion that fedon,s 81
ears IS very rich and well worm tue
tlot BILE Of hearing. II is verify In prom
Ions of human nature thtt a nlah ISSS
not object 10 making 1901 OF h'inS-r -
he knows the performance Is 10 oe W.
messed by only a limited rev, III nar
let the eager public find out that INC pei5
Torrance 10 going on, ana our i. 'Si.a
gets angry and stops. so IL ls-"e o.
always on the lookout for what ,hs W. -
thinks, and as long as the voiiu uoes'y,
see TT to condemn our actions We are al
right. We are prone 10 measure ourselves
by the opinions that other peeple nolu -.
US, and each OF US erects his own stan
dard too. IL has been Caid that man
considers sinful only those thlnss VIII
he does not enjoy doing. That doc,rlns
IS a good one as far as IL goes. WIN "Oe
say how far that Is.
THE APPPLICATION.
have stated a case; now for the apph-
cation. Let US suppose tiat one Oh tnc
personages in a conversation as mention
ed above supposes himself more intel
ligent wight than tho other, ana "oulu
have his friend believe that he Is impart-
ing Information which could De salheIeu
from no other source. Then the CONVEX
sation will indeed be a gem or unlqueiess
10 the appreciative listener. IL was soile
thing of this nature that l had the COCO
fortune TO hear some few weeks ago on
the branch wing of the HoodlesDuIs ran
way I'm a smoker. So many eoou tHlhsS
arc said on railroad trains; ana nave
been thinking that II we were able 10
furnish all OF our trains with phono-
graphs. tucked carefully under the seats
what a rich harvest OF bon mots we
might reap at the end or each TWO houts
run. ,-
and dropped into q seat. thinking that
might get 10 chapter six IN my pook pc
foro reaching my station. But STEADY
buzz in front OF me attracted my alten-
tion, and | felt myself being slowly oIhNi
| from my book 10 the persons IN 'front.' OF
me One was pompous Individual VINO
! had brains and TO spare; and his compah-
| ion was one OF those weak utue ieiloMS
who make life pleasant for other people
by letting other people Impose upon thelh
] saw at once that he was the niIs,,,
| The big individual talked and gesucuiadeu
| wildly-ho may have been talking wildly,
| too The little fellow listened as II nc
was enjoying the delightful privilege Oh
| hearing his death-warrant. lie ocCasioh
ally took a look around, rearrdi,seu I'm, y, -
self In his seat, and sald' mat So "
you're right, sir.
ELECTRICITY AND SILVER.
| do not know whether the little man
| was n "silverite' or a bug. pui ne
| certainly had my warnsst syinpa'..t,e ne.
| I have Imagined ever since hearing that
conversation that | should Ike TO DC as
| smart as the big man. His store OF lnl9r-
| nation would have rivalled the coninils-
| sary department OF the largest army IN
existence And he was so liberal with IL,
| TOO The first remark | heard was;
"Flectrlcity IS a great thing. Isn't TT
Yes sir" said the meek man.
.erom Edison has made II what II is-it
| IL the principle that runs the telephone
| tho telegraph, the photograph, the kine-
toscope. the fyfans, the street-cars' ana
| the lights. Did you ever think III
The meek man nodded, signifying that
ben. Franklin discovered it with the
aid Of a kite ,,,
This was said in a tone which implied
| that our friend was on intimate terms
with all Of these fellows, and that Ben
was one of the boys in his time.
Ben, you know, discovered II WIN the
aid of kite, as I've said before. lie =
| yes. sir" said the diminutive specimen
| i've read about IL in history.
DO YOU understand the silver ques-
| ton? No? Wen. you are not TO be &C.
| rlded for / have not seen more IMAM one
| or two others besides mysel1 VINO ulu .
| If's very intricate. / have derived my
| knowledge of the subject from long years
| OF experience / am In favor or isee SILVER
| because II IS the correct theory. GIVE US
| free silver, and gold VIII not De III H.
| Every silver dollar Will buy two sold one
| and farms that cost two thousand may DE
| bought for one Men who are worm
| twenty thousand now viii be worth lorty
| when the change is made. All OF the
| gold will be moulded into car-wheels ana
| plow-shares. Every day Will be SUNDAY
| and peace will reign supreme VIII mol
| nj
| Tho meek man said that he thought II
| would be a very desirable place 10 live
| when all OF this came about. But rear
| ~ do not think that II was expecting
IL 10 come very shortly.
| The gentleman must be from Kansas
' thought. though | saw no trace of pro
life crop of whiskers, as are worn "'.'
| there. His explanation OF the silver ques
ton. If not clear. was concise, ana II 10
| logical, was encouraging. But L "oule
| advise him not to meet up win the SAINT
| friends again If silver should happen u
get the inside track. 1000. .,,,.,, ,,-,.e,
THE GOVERNMENTS MISTAKES:
The senior member paused for rev
moments to get breath. and then begar
again on an entirely different Hne. lhl'
time IT was about the West.
| Don't you know, he sald, that th'
Government is making big mistake II
not handling the public lands properly
Why. il would be the biggest scheme Oh
top OF the earth 10 parcel them on IN me-
business and residence lots and sell then
=, the laboring classes III the Govern
ment only chose 10 do that II might sroi
| clear enough 10 pay the pensioners an'
the sugar bounty My father was th'
| shrewdest business man / ever saw
used to think that IL our national aliaii
| could have been put into his hands loi -
months We would have made ana save
| enough TO buy proud father hist Ooi"
| He was remarkable.
| The meek man remarked that he should
! like very much 10 have lald eyes Oh NM IN.
''Yes s.r he was mayor OF our towi
| for four years, and he saved the to~i
| enough money TO change the cut OF th'
| nolfcenen's coats three times year bu
family. on my fathers SIDE, Is VI.
| strong minded one. No doubt you h-N'
| noticed il "a nod from the meek man.
We are also very eccentric. ,Severa nod
from the meek man Jour family crest j
a boa-constrictor rampant about 10 sMal
| low a jackass che meek man heI'
| very meeky asked which animal repre-
sented his ancestOrs) | really do not De
lieve that the gentleman was as meet
| as he pretended 10 be. or else that re
mark was probably lapsus hnguae.
train boy rushed through with III
wares. and the meek man made poid u
| set 'em up 10 pies. IL was very nice o
| him. but would you believe IL, that tax
alive man ate five OF them on MS friend
and then began telling him about the pie
his mother used TO make. lie said III
crusts were so short that II would tax
thousands of them 10 measure OUT al
inch. and when he had eaten them all, h
said that the railway company ought Z
bc sued for selling such truck to It's pat
rons. The meek man could stand n
more. lie slowly took his pipe from III
rocket. filled IL with tobacco. and. as III
| CONDUCTOR drew within hailing distance o
him. sauntered into the smoker. He af
rewards told me that the laxative ma
IS an migrate. NAT PRUNE.