Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1896-02-13
OVER THE COFFEE CUPS.
Breakfast Table Talk with Just Hint OF
SpIcs in H.


Some young men are badly scared at
the possibilities of leap year. A number
of them in Alameda, Cal, have organ
lied a bachelors club. The membership
now includes more than fifty Alameda
bachelors who recognize the dangers of
! leap year. Any member of the club who
marries during 1896 will be required to
serve fine banquet to the whole club.
Any member who attends more than two
leap year parties will be fined $40 for
each offense Any member becoming en-
gagged during 1895 will be summoned be-
| fore a club committee, and, unless he
| can prove extcnuating circumstances,
will be fined So All members are re-
| quired to Immediately report engage
ments under penalty of double fine.
The Savannah News says a biscuit
| making contest was recently held in
Augusta, in which there were sixty con-
testants, and adds that this is published
for the information of the War Depart
ment as projectiles will be in demand in
case 1t transpires that war with England
is inevitable.
Very few people among the general pub
lie know that n certain class of small
brokers and stick and umbrella sellers of
London, who have notegot regular shops
of their own, make quite a living out OF
the sales of articles left in railway car
rldVeS anu waiting rooms, ana consequent
ly disposed OF at auction.
During the recitation of the great ad-
mlration the negro frequently has for his
white brother, Mr.. Dixon told of a con-
versation between two old negroes from
| Hon. j. G. s. Blackburns home, which
runs in this way: Two negroes were dis
cussing the smart men in Washington,
one of them saying: Il specs Mars Joe
Blackburn is de smartes' man who eber
i,, W., I,t ~
field?" Yes" "Smarter'n Grant?'
Yes" Smartern Lincoln?" Yes" us
he smarter'n de Lord?" "Well-now, yer
see. Mars Joe's young yet!-Lexington
Herald.
A high school girl, being told by her
teacher to parse "Hc kissed me-" con-
scented reluctantly because opposed to
speaking OF private matters in public.
! He" she commenced with unnecessary
emphasis and fond lingering over the
word that brought the crimson to her
cheeks. rs pronoun. third person, sing
ular number. mas line gender, a gentle
man and pretty well fixed; universally
considered good catch, Kissed Is a
verb. transStive. too much so, regular
every evening. indicative mode indicating
affection; first and third persons, plural
number and governed by circumsta noes
'Me'-Ohl Well everybody knows me. "
And she sat down.-Warren, Ohio, Leader
Little Princess Eva of Battenberg 1.
credited with rather a smart saying Like
other small pr-incesses, she has begun the
study of European languages early, anc
already speaks French and German witt
considerable nuency But the other day
when her patient governess began to teach
her some Italian phrases her Royal High
ness very nearly struck. "Grandmamma
makes me say, Thank YOU when sh,
gives me anything" she exclaimed, zane
father Ich danke linen Then you uset
to tell me to say, 'Merci. and now it.,
something else. What lot OF differen
ways there must be of talkng"
The other day an elderly lady with al
umbrella stood on the sidewalk on Wash
ington street, vainly trying to stop
south-bound car, says the Boston Trans
cript. a white car came along, and thu
woman brandished her umbrella and erie,
out: Here! Stop! You stopl" The mo
torman slowed up n little and called out
I'VE can't carry you. This is a maj
car" Well" screamed the old lady from
the pavement, cant female ride on il p
There are tricks in all trades, but hors
trades appear to have more :han the
share. new dodge in that line is report
ed By the Philadelphia Record. The pro
prietor of an uptown hotel in that cit!
patronized largely by agriculturists wa.
very anxious 10 sell a horse to frien,
from the country, but the latter had SOM
doubt as to the animals speed. The tw,
agreed upon a certain day for a drive II
the park. and in the meantime the hote
man had not been idle. They were bowl
ing along at a pace which was scarcel,
calculated to create any great exctemen
when a park guard, who had previousl!
been fixed" arrested the owner of III,
horse for driving faster than the above,
three-minute gait. He willingly paid hi
fine of So, and his companion was so i'm
pressed by the occurrence that lie immedi
ately purchased the horse.
The Washington correspondent of tn,
Atlanta journal tells of a well know
naval dignitary who is the possessor OF /
very beautiful daughter, The old salt ha
fine record in the war and peace and
goodly amount of dollars, but the mos
priceless of his possessions is the afore
mentioned maiden. Society has beer
watching with keen interest the atten
lions OF young ensign, beardless anC
comedy to look upon-but without cash
to this aged sailorman's daughter. Tn.
following story Is related of an interview
between the girls father and the youn,
sutton. IL seems that the young man toll,
the usual story and met with the usua
response In such cases But when he wa
plagued with the fact that he had only
his salary-hardly enough to keep him n
white gloves and to FURNISH his brass but
tonS-he repieu 10 about this effect
well, Mr.. Admiral, what you say is true
But when you married you were only
midshippan. with even IA smaller salar,
than mine. How did you get along?" asked
the ensign, who believed he had made tn,
most diplomatic of defences. But not so
The crafty old sea dog Numbered forth
II lived on my father-in-law for the frs
10 years, but III be id IL you are going t,
do it,
DR.. Chalmers, the eminent divine, wa.
fond of telling the following story:
Lady Betty Cunningham, having hat
some difference of opinion with the parish
minister, instead of putting her usual con
tribution In the collecting plate. merel,
gave a stately bow. This having occurred
several Sundays in succession, the elder
In charge Of the plate at last lost his pa
thence and blurted out. We cud dae wi
less o. yer manners, and mair o. yer siller
ma Teddy
Dining on one occasion at the house of
nobleman, he happened to repeat the anec
dote. whereupon the host. in not over
well pleased tone said
Are you aware, DR.. Chalmers, that Lady
Betty Is relative OF mine?
j was not aware, my lord, replied tn,
doctor, but, with your permission, / shal
mention the fact the next time / tell tn,