The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-03-04
THROWN DOWN AGAIN.
Abe Crofoot Tells Col. Dawson of His
Lost Case.
PIKE COUNTY SEES he is GOING TO

kurnelP' exclaimed Abe Crofoot as he
ran across Colonel Dawson on the steps
of his village drug store at O'Clock the
other afternoon.
Eyes, it's me-howdy, Abe?' replied
the colonel as he extended his hand.
90 Bout the same, kurnel-'bout the
same. Some of the children ailin?''
mo, thankee. One of my workin
nevis off his feed, and I'm goin to tone
him up leetle. Let's see? Didn't I
hear about some mo- scandalizin or sun
thin? Can't jest remem Der the particu-
lars, butt reckon Pike county was after
yo' again. :"
'fThat's it, kurne1-mo' scandalizin, -
replied Abe as he drew his friend aside
and sat down on the steps. Yes, sab,
the enemy moved down on my works
again the other day, and they jest reck-
oned to wipe me off the airth. Pike
county has made up her mind that I
must CO. and mebbe I'll hev to. but I'm
gwine to die powerful hard, kurnel-
powerful hard. Bin lookin fur yo'I in
fur the last three days -
"What happened this time, Abe?"
Queried the colonel as he cut piece off
his plug of tobacco and passed the plug
to Abe and carefully remembered to get
it back again.
"Kurnel Dawson. yo' run mostly to
con and nevis and ar busy man.
eyes, Abe. -
"But yo' hain't too busy to remember
that De Soto discovered the Mississippi
about $50 years ago. You've read that
in history
Eyes, reckon have, Abe, but 1 didn t
charge ray memory with it. Name was
De Soto, was it? Live in Pike county OF
around yere?'
"Not exactly, kurnel. Pike county
wasn't heard Of till long after his time.
He was Spaniard, and he cum over to
this kentry with a crowd behind him to
pick fuss, make new discoveries and
run things to suit himself 1t was while
wandering over the kentry that he dis
kivered the Mississippi river. "
"Shool Jest broke out Of the woods
and diskivered her, eh?''
''That was the way of it, kurnel.
Now, then, last Saturday I went into
cote fur Tom jackson Tom S dawg bit
the ear off of Jim Forbishes' yal1er
mewl, and Jim sued for $50 damages. I
was fur the defense. / not only had an
alibi fur the dawg. but had II witnesses
on hand to sw ar that he was too dod-
gasted lazy to chase anything. Besides
that, had the dawggone dawg right in
the coteroom, that I might show the
jury he hadn't but two teeth left and
couldn't chaw off baby's finger
"And yo' won that suit, Abe-yo'
won it fur shore p exclaimed the colonel.
Ibid I? Yo' jest wait! I stood to
win it, of co'se. and kiver myself with
a mantle Of glory That's what Pike
county was afeared of-afeard I was
cumin out on tep-and the fat went
9TH that 1 was to be throwed down.
Reckon yo' know what fat means, kur-
nel?"
"Sk-assly, Abe-not jest this after
noon-but go on with yo'r story. -
'Well, had the neatest, slicl1est case
yo' ever did see, but the fiat had gone
10th and jedge and jury had to obey.
Jest ruled me out all around and brought
in a verdict fur them $50 and COSTS"
''Shool Couldn't be no mistaken"
"No mistake, Kurnel Dawson! They
not only throwed me down in the YER
dict, but the jedge took occashun to say
that if 1 hadn't fooled away my time
and let my ambishun run to weeds I
might hev bin a De Soto. Yes, sab, said
them very words right to my teeth p
"Hul WAL, did 1 everP'
''Kurnel Dawson, ar yo' lookin at
me?" asked Abe as he faced the colonel.
Eyes, Abe, I'm a-lookin. -
''Then. sab. let me ask yo' if Abe Gro
foot is a Spaniard?''
''Of co'se not. -
Ibid I ever live in Spain?''
''Never. Yo' was bon and raised right
yere in this county Of Pike. -
can was bon about 200 vars ago,
kurnel''
''Shooi How could yo' bel"
That's the pint, KurneI Dawson
that's jest what I want to know my
selfl'' exclaimed Abe as he brought
down his hand on his leg. ''I'm blamed
by these yere Pike county scandalizers
because l hain't as big a man as De
Soto, who was dead and buried hun
dred vars befo' my grandfather was
weaned How could 1 diskiver the Mis-
sissippi river befo' I was bon? How
could be a great man century and
half ahead of my openin my eyes on this
sinful world? Answer me that, Kurnel
Dawson. -
-"Yo' couldn't do it, Abe-couldn'
possibly do it, - replied the colonel.
"Of co'se not, and yit Pike county
throws me down again. She thought
was dun gone this time, but I m right
on deck, as usual. I kin be throwed
down, but the grass don't hold me fur
long!'
"Got a new idea, Abe?''
ST hev, kurnel Yes, sab, I've got the
biggest thing of the lot, and if I don't
hev the hull of Pike county lickin my
butes inside of six weeks I'll be power
fully disappointed Kurnel Dawson,
yo've seen grasshoppers?"
Millions of 'em, Abe. "
Every dawggone grasshopper is
jumper, and every summer thar ar
- LIZ.