Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1896-07-30
THE CURSE OF HUM0R.
BY IAN MACLAREN.

his mind without offense. Many of his
profession will converse only on one
condition-that they state what they
believe TO be true, and that the matter
be then considered as closed; and il
upon this papal bull any mere laymqr
ventures to dissent, the good men-
and often, as it appears, IN proportion
TO their goodness-willa arch their backs
and fluff very unpleasantly. One is
careful after few scratches to avoid
every subject on which there can be
two opinions, and one makes every al
lowance for this supersensitiveness. If
plant be reared under glass, il takes
i'll with a brisk, healthy northwester;
and if man lives constantly in n circle
of admiring las well as charmingl
young ladies, or with old ladies of the
male sex i'm the shape of ecclesiastical
laymen, lie would be more than human
If he were not offended by the indie
pendence of men who are accustomed
TO think for themselves and will even
say what they think. My friend had
the singular advantage, from my out
side standpoint, of not having beer iso-
lated among people of the religious pro-
fession from his youth, and of having
kept himself afterwards in touch with
the world. He had therefore no shock
ing point in the matter of opinion. and
would give a candid hearing 10 any
heresy one might ventilate. 1t struck
me that he did not lose by this tolera
tion and sympathy, for there arc ut
Ii. he, kr
religious civilization. who worship nj
st. Origens. Fletcher delighted to de-
fine himself as an evangelical high
broad churchman, which many pro-
nounced very unsatisfactory sug-
gesting a yagrant who travelled any
where so long as he found some good
thing, and who had no legal address
where summons could be served upon
him. He threw himself into each sub
/ ject he treated with such unguarded
enthusiasm that l trembled in my ais
tant seat, and was quite prepared TO
hear that conventional people called
! him names, till he had acquired almos:
the complete stock of religious abuse.
One day he waxed eloquent on foreign
missions, and went out of his way to
pay tribute to Xavier. 4 year after
wards il was still hinted that the rec
/ tor of st. Origens was a Jesuit. He
must needs hold up the Salvation Army
10 admiration for their immense sac.
rifices, and was freely spoken of as
ranter for weeks at certain dinner
| tables. When he declared that the Uni
tartan faith had produced some of the
finest ethical types in England, lady
called next day-who had long suspect
ed the fact. and only wished to have il
confirmed from his own lips-and asked
the rector whether he was indeed
Socinian.
NO, madam" he replied; although
you shrewdly suspect that I am not
an Anglican, il happens that | have
never quite seen my way TO become
Socinian. 1 am a Swedenborgian, with
leaEings to Mohammedanism."
This was a very foolish speech in
deed, as ] told Fletcher, and brought
its just punishment. One of that ex-
cellent woman's peculiarities was
hopeless incapacity of giving an ac-
curate account of anything she had
either seen or heard, and the evening
of the snme day she told Inc, between
the soup and the fish, that the truth
had come out at last about the rector
of st. origens.
81 put it 20 him plainly. and he ad- |
mitted that he was an atheist, but I |
do not remember which denomination"
and he has hardly scraped off that label
TO this day.
When he dropped in last evening and |
flung himself into his favorite chair,
l anticipated some new canard.
"Are you really an Irvingite?" be-
gan.
NO, no, it's nothing of that kind just |
now. am the victim of malignant |
spirit which is going TO ruin me-" and /
then he denounced humor up hill and |
down dale, declaring il TO be an unmit-
igated curse, and affirming that ne
would cheerfully barter any share he
had for the irrelevancy of that good |
woman.
1T is well enough for you to laugh,
but II you were in my shoes you would
take another view. Twice this week
panies of religious respectables, and /
do not see how I can recover the scandal.
Last Monday, as l begged for details,
/ was so foolish as to attend drawing
room in aid of the Doof-to-Door Vista
tion society, and found myself with 50
of the most solemn-looking people ever
gathered under one roof.
You are Celt, so of course YOU Will
not despise the idea of presentiments
/ was haunted with sense of calamity
all day, and it deePcned in the room.
When the secretary, young man with
an indescribable air of self-satisfaction,
began to read extracts from the visitors
letters, / ought to nave risen and left.
II l had only had the courage TO walk
out before that report =" And
Fletcher took a turn of regret on the
hearth-rug.
what was il? Oh. nothing remarlsa-
BILE; you can hear such thugs every day,
but il found Inc: Called at 19I Jemirna
street. Mother and bog aged six in
house. Boy had nothing on except a
few small boils. Mother said she was
washing his clothes. Spoke TO her from
text: Except We repent. We shall all
likewise perish and left her much af-
fected."
Yes, l did my best, and perhaps ]
might have succeeded, had not an elder
ly lady beside me murmured: Very
suitable. indeed; Mr.. Popham has quite
a turn fer application Then laughed
aloud joyfully, after which nothing rc-
mained but to stink out of the room as
unobtrusively as possible. Apologies
would have aggravated the situation
Does it matter so very much?"
"Yes, it does, desperately, in more
ways than one. Don't you see, man.
that I've hurt the feelings of many ex-
cellent folk, and fiouted, as appears. q
good work, and convinced everybody
who had any doubt before that really
am an atheist?"
1t was on the face of it an unfortunate
and one could only sGg-
gest that peoples memories are very
short in these busy days.