Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1896-10-21


One thing l am certain NV, Bascom
amt NO inanseer, nor never will be,
and l told him so.
wat is a finanseerY" asked he.
"a finanseer,n sed /, assoomin the
look of Danl Webster, sis a man wich
kin pay his debts with nothin, a mar
wich kin git suthin with nothin,"
1.-The Corners, then, is full of finan-
seers," he remarked bitterly, castin a
casual glance at the slate which was
jist full enuff to TURF over and begin on
t'other side.
But he hezn't any NV the science Nv
it. | wuz argooin with him the t'other
day in favor NV my noshun Nv a leather
currency, though told him silver was
much the same thing, and for example,
| wood assoom that silver wuz to be
the currency ov the fucher.
Now, don't you see, Bascom, that
eff l he'd twict as much money | could
drink twict as much whisky and pay
fur it,"
How much is twict nothin?" was
the unfeelin anser Nv the tyrant who
holds the destinies NV the Corners in
his hands. That's wat your capitle's
bin ever since l knowd yoo."
"Parson," sed he, Il don't see wat
earthly difference it's goin to make
wether silver is currency or anything
else. How are 700 agoin to git silver
eff it is made legal tenderp Eff silver
wuz ez bricks, wat hev 700 got to git
any Nv it WITH"
"Troo, G. W." wuz my answer, but
can't 700 see that to hev silver wood
relieve the dettor class? Even now,
afore it is legal tender, it's only with
% cents on the dollar, and, when the
country is flooded with it, it will go
still lower. Then we, or rather SIGH
Nv us ez hev property to rise money on
kin pay off,
"Eggsackly So" retorts Bascom,
WOO kin pay me for the good honest
likker Nv mine wich is less than the
dollor 700 promised. All rite. But
look here-come in here all Nv 700. l
want 700 silver men to know ~eggsackly
wat 700 are rushin into"
And this feend led US into the back
room-that back room wich contanes
the subsistence Nv the Corners. There
in long lows, wuz Bascom's stock.
There, in barrels, piled one on top Nv
another, wuz the delishus whisky of
Louisville, Nv different ages, ranging
from that uu two weeks old to that
wich had jist left the still and wuz
scarcely cold yit. There it lay, and ez
my eyes ranged affeckshunately over
it felt eff | could hev the drinkin Nv
all that likker | wood be content to Law
down and die when the last drop wuz
gone.
Bascomb pinted to an immense tank
wich he had erected within a few
days with a pipe runnin in from the
roof.
II sham raise the price Wv likker III
conscience Nv bein paid for it in a de,
pr%eshiated currency" sed he.
l fell on Bascom's neck in an extacy
NV delite, while the others SHOUTED
"Rah fer Bascom."
sc. W. remarkt, while teers suf
foosed my eyes, II never placed VOC
much below the angels, but this gener
Gus act hez histed 700 100 per cen il
my estimashun. Bless 700, G.. w.
bless you"
"But I'll tell 700 what l shall do
Do you see that tankY" sed he.
MAY l ask what that is for?" | sed
"'That tank will fill with rane water,
sed he. "The moment you git to psyir
me in silver | shell take Out Nv eeh III
them barrils jist eggsackly 8 10 gal
Ions of likker and fill it with water"
"Merciful hevings," we all explain
ed. land yoor likker so week now"
And when silver gets down to q
cents on the dollar l shall take out 8
per cent NV whisky and fill her ~
with 20 per cent of water. And 80 Of
down. Ell silver cones up, l shell ad,
whisky eggsackly in proporshun. L
short, my whisky is jist agoin to folle
currency, and nothin shorter. 70
fellers wich work for wagis may sweI
! but | won't"
> "But yoo'l increase the size OF 700
glasses?" sed |.
| mot any. But you may drink twic
ez many times to get the same amour
: Nv drink ez before, by paying for eacI
drink"
And Bascom stalked hawtily bac
took his posishen behind his bar.
There wuz consternashun in the Coz
ners SIGH ez | hev never seen. Their
was a hurried consultation at the de,
d kins house, and | sejested that we Ell
. ancipate ourselves from the dominyu
Nv this tyrant by startin a grosery IL
l. our own, on the joint stock principl,
d witch wuz agreed to, eech man agreei
Q to contribbet $40 to the capitle stool
l. witch would be enuif to buy n BARR
n ur too fur a Begin.
d We wuz enthusiastic till we cum
ballotin for the man to keep the plac,
wen it wuz found, instead Nv my bel
!, chosen unanimously, ez | eggspecte
= to be, that every man he'd voted (,
hisself. Ez not a soul of them woo
e receed, the skeem wuz blocked ri
there aud FINELY he'd 10 be abandonot
n,l ,rn ,rant h,,E 10 nucrnn,f, ~