Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-01-20
JUST FOR FUN.

lral death.
-iend-Were you successful with
first case? Doctor - Yes; his
Dw paid the bill.
he-Is it true that married men live
ger than single ones? He-No! 1t
seems longer to them.
Fere we eloquent as angels, yet we
aid please some people more by
Fning than by talking.
ext door neighbor-My new organ
twenty stops. The sufferer-Why
't you use them once in a while?
octor- 1 must forbid all brain
*. Poet But may I not write
e verses? Doctor-Oh, certainly.
10, Maude, dear, we do not think
cats voice is musical even if the
NAL is full of violin and banjo
hgs.
Yell, Willie, asked grandma, have
had all the dinner you want?
me, answered Willie, but I have
all can eat.
colored pastor in Texas, when de-
hiding his salary, gave as his rea-
"Brudern, I can't preach heah
boa'd in he'b'n."
What in the world shall do with
baby, John? She's crying for the
ON. That's nothing. Wait till
| g IS, and then she'll want the
|th.
|ohnny, Willie says you threw him
|vn and jumped on him with both
It. Well, ma, I was just playing.
\ lat sort of play do you call that?
Ptball.
Pin, boy, I'll give you a dollar to
Oh my canary bird. He's just
hight, ma'am. Where-where is the
ecious pet? Black cat up the road
/ i'm.
# we go to Europe, Cynthia, don't
Mt you to marry any of those
lnts or dukes. You just wait until
run across some king in reduced
Young Swimly-Is there anything
the report that young lady of this
tel is engaged to old Coiner, the
nker? Sweet girl (tantalizingly)-
s; Pm in it.
drs. Gay seems very much devoted
the memory of her depared hus-
nd, doesn't she? Well, should say
She won't eat beefsteak if it isn't
ned black around the edge.
There is no doubt that Jones killed
nself. None whatever. What
used him to do it? He got divorce
m his wife on Tuesday, and on
ursday she fell heir to $45O,OOO.
IS it true that you caught the rich
man on the beach last summer? I
ard you were engaged to him? Of
1rse 1 was engaged to him! Do you
nix wanted to be the only girl that
8 not?
want to look at some
tterns in wall paper. Surprised
don't keep wall paper. We
al in corrugated iron. Witherby-
ats all right. Pm re-papering
? nursery.
She-What made you so late COM
: home night before last? He
lmph! You have been a long time
to ask. She - Yes; [
ought 1 would give you time enough
get up a good excuse.
Mr.. Caustic-By the way, dear, let
, give you a point about letter
iting. Mrs. C.-What is it, dear?
always write your post
ript first, and it will save you the
ouble of writing your letter.
don't look as if
u had washed yourself for month.
mum, the doctor says
e proper time to battle is two hours
ter a meal, and haven't had any
ing you could call a meal in six
,eks.
Tommy, said the teacher, do you
low what the word foresight"
cans? Yes'm. Can you give me an
Yes7m. You may do SO.
st night my mamma told the doctor
at he might call round and see me.
night.
The common people, as Abraham Lincoln
led them, do not care to argue about their
ments. What they want is medicine that
II cure them. The simple, honest state
mt, 81 know that Hoods Sarsaparilla cur
me-" is the best argument in favor of this
dicine, and this is what many thousands
say.
Hoods Pills are the best after dinner pills,
sist digestion, cure headache. Csc.
Dear me! said Mrs. Wickware, look
g up from her paper, but women are
sting brave nova days. Brave?