davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
P,rAI AND POINT %,

-Tubbs says he's been making q
number Of improvements about his
home recently" eyes, noticed he's
sold the piano. ..,,..,
Miss Bloomfield ''Isn't Mr.. Point
Breeze an easy-going chap" Miss
Bloomer-"When he calls on me he
finds it very difficult to go."-Pitts-
burgh Chronicle-Te Telegraph.
-"My son-in-law hadn't a cent of
debts when he married my daughter"
''Then he must have married out Of
pure bravado." -Fliegende Batter.
What kind of service do you get
in the dining-room?" asked the new
conner. II really don't know" replied
Miss Smart IT understand, though,
that the head waiter is an Episcopalian."
-Harper's Bazaar. .i<,.t>a
-Bogg's Old Friend-"Great heav-
ems, man! % I find YOU reduced to
playing a cornet.at the street corner
to make living ~ r., fBoggs RI Amt do.
ing this to make q living. KY wife
won't let me practice in the house.
Tit-Bits.
Mrs: Goode -"My poor man, do
you know that if you would not take the
first drink of whisky, the rest Of them
would not harm you?" Dismal Daw-
son-"I don't exactly. see what you're
git'in' at, lady, but anyway I've done
took it already."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
A young couple on. their honey
moon, are dallying languidly with the
grapes at dessert. She (archly)-"And
you don't find it tiresome all alone with
me? You are quite sure you dop''t:want
to go back to your bachelor life again p
He (earnestly)-"Quite, my darling.
Do you know. if you were. to die to-
night, I'd get married again to-mor:
+oxv 1norn;nui"-Tit-R
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
81 sa.Ne as .-E '@raa' .fnf.83 Pet, rs-
THE OLD BARN DOOR.

In the twilight. when I'm dreaming
with INV head upon nv arm. 0''''"
an am +h PACK again. n.,s an 1t e. ra
Az 4 ite hiea, NJ anth,o 10 L. .#
wv ne 49,. ou :ea t fore4ta,, inno
" W.. 80! ~. ,'a ne aotss",,s ~ ~. 80 o,,,
~ 40 ~ s na5 ,, eo'e ~, e-N '''"
70 ''o o =. NSo-' Z. ", .ls' ~
I can see it swinging, swinging: "a
can hear. its rasping noise, r. ~
We iot ~ Needless hoys: ""'' ~
How va .hanred u, how we slammed Il
- ri, wa thn,,rht 10 tro;, Has o,erl q -
But a tourh and stubborn fellowt e. &.
: Was the old. harm door = ~, IN /
= ~ ,"'.y wA+ "a
4 can see its .nAtlheads rusty. .ra, :
And its home made wooden latch, y,
Worn BY many years Of servtca: ''""
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
sTRAnaEsT3 Or sFlshEs.

4 llss4as Wonder ss the Coiunbls UaS.
veFsity. ~
There 10 an animal at Columbia uni.
verxity which has neither ears. eyes,
head nor heart. ,a .o,4l,.,. 1881. J
Tho absence OF the head and heart Il
naturally the odd feature Of this strange
creature, which biologists call o lance.
let. One Of them IL nov being expert
1nentedf On ia Columbia university s
biological laboratory, says the San
Although this wonder looks = good
deal aikefa Ash, tits. reslly az. animal,
for there ia iast 81 much difference be.
tween the lancclet and q salmon, for
instance. as there IL between man and
an ordinary bird.s + ,4a -.
! .Epicuireans With astsw<et5 tooth fos
fish will hail with delight the prospect
Of having all lakes and rivers of tho
country stocked with the lancelet, for
in their entire body there is not bone
True; there is a kind Of backbon run.
ming TIE length of th ! Il body. but a e. this
bono iSSnot J 30 at fN, b'ltsorly q
strip ofs what Ordinary moftals would
call gristle, no trouble with fshbonea
con follow from the attempt to eat the
animal when a man II in . hurry, e
eatcY ~" expssM@g /. AIT
stili sanother I'd 1sntag exists' tS I
man who wants to eat the lancelet in .
jiny. This advantage is, perhaps, "one
better" than the absencs OF booAls
Every mans eyes peffoffn r. frnefosn
Of an x-ny maohihe,itne dh ~oeasns
order, for the lamoefet - absolutely
transparent in livery sectaon4of it, ex'
traortlinez eorpA = w
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
Seod yoor naDo for Q 8seveolr
Of TIE Works o. EuGeno Field.
FELDFLOWERS
IN esaere HleN paepuusaf 1ssytsir

The most beautiful Art Production Of the
century. "A small bsseh Of the nest ffasfaae
Of blssss0s 6atbereA from the broad acres Il
Raaese Pisll.s Farm u Live Contains Q se-
lection of the most beautiful Of the poems OF
Eugene Field. Handsomely illustrated by
thirty-6ve of the worlds greatest artists a.
Bet fer The asbls csstribatisss Of the great artists
this bosk essI1 net have bees oasafaetassl fer
)7.ss. For sale at book stores, or sent prepaid
on receipt Of $r.Io. The love Offering TO the
mittee 10 create . fund to build the Monument
and to care for the family of the beloved poet.
Eueene Field Monument Souvenir Fund,
sSo Aesros Street, chieaes, III.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
Better said Differently.

my friends and fellow PATRIOTS" the
orator shouted, as he pounded the de-
fenseless air, ''our friends, the enemy,
have boosted that they can elect vel
low dog this year. Let us get together,
put our shoulders TO the wheel, and
show them that we can elect just as yell
low dog rs they can. That il to say
err
The rest was lost In the vociferous
applause Of the patriots.-Indianspolis
Journal. =. -,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
Reforms Need More Than . Day

Reforms Need More Than . Day -
To bring them about, and are always more
complete and lasting when they proceed
with steady regularity to . contamination.
Few;of the observant among US can have
failed to notice that permanently healthful
changes in tho human system are not
that those are the most salutary medicines
which are progressive. Hostetter's Stom-
ach Bitters is the chief Of these. Dyspep-
sis. . disease of obstinate character, il OBJ.
liberated by it.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
ImpoPteut Contract.

~. Rsadars, Of this paper, viii bk;; inxere,ted
In learning that large contract for adver.
thing No! To-Bac and Cascarets, the famous
preparations manufactured by the Sterling
Remedy Co. Of Chicago and New York, dAa
Dreciste tho value Of this 3plperias ANA
vertising medium, and the compliment is
the more marked, as. the company is . con-
servative concern which sells its products
under an absolute guarantee to cure or
money refunded. :, Every retail druggist is
authorized to sell No.To:Bac, guaranteed
tobacco habit cure, and Cascarets, guaran-
teed constipation cure, under this absolute
guarantee, and readers need not hesitate to
buy these preparations. as it involves NO
risk whatever, either physical or financial.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
Shocking Bad Taste.

"My dear, don't You intend to ask Mr.
and Mrs. Green to your party?'' asked
Col. Yerger.
Certainly not" replied Mrs. Yerger
"Why not? They are very good friends
of ours"
What if they are? have already
invited Mr.. and Mrs. Brown"
"Well, can't you invite tie Greens
also?''
"Col. Yerger, are you crazy? Do YOU
imagine that would have Green ant
Brown in my parlor? Why, you will bt
asking me next tc wear blue and vel
low. I declare, you have no idea what
ever Of harmony."-Texas Sitter.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
Tho Latest Form of Robbery.

A colonel in the Indian army met
with an unpleasant adventure recently
while dining at boulevard restaurant
in Paris. A well-dressed young man
who was seated opposite him spurte;l
some soda water from a syphon over
the colonel's shirt front, apparently by
accident. The young man was profusc
in his apologies and insisted on careful
~ wiping the officers front and neck
with his serviette. While the colonel
was putting his collar and tie straight
in front of mirror, the stranger paid
his bill and went out. When the officer
went to pay for his dinner he discov.
cred that his pocketbook. containing
about $50 in French and English
notes, had Observation-Disclosures
Gazette.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
THOUGHT HURTS THE TEETH.

Brain Workers Have More Trouble with
r,s, Molars Than Do Laborers.
A prominent New York dentist made
the statement the other day, which he
said was back eddy the highest scientific
authority, that intellectual pursuita
play havoc with. the, teeth, and thatsths'
more man tolls with his brain the
more likely are his teeth to disappear
or become diseased. before he reaches
middle life. ,.~ .,,...
The reason why people in this coun-
try have poorer teeth than those OF any
other country in the world is because
they live at the highest possible pitch
Of nervous pressure. Savage races
generally have teeth superior to those
Of civilized races.
Their are many. unusual occupations,
too, that have a'bad effect on teeth.
Quicksilver miners, bleachers. who use
chloride of lime, people employed in
soda factories are some of those who
suffer. But the most harmful trade OF
all, not only in it's effect upon the gen.
erd1. health but also upon the teeth,
is that Of making matches The phos-
phofus used in their manufacture at.
fects in some way the health Of the
teetirof those.who handle to-. ISL -.
Artificial teeth are made Of all sorta
Of strange. substances nowadays, but
probably the most curious 6f allmate'
rails used for this: purpose lis, com
pressed paper. A dentist in Germany
has been making: them in: this way for
many years past ~ False teeth were
never'so cheap as they aretto-day and at
the same time never sosdear.t They can
be purchased as-lew. as three dollars per
set, or they may cost Us high as $1,000.
There aye. expensive vdeptistsa as well as
expensive doctors, and it is not an I'M
common thing for $500 to be paid for u
new outfit of molars.
When it comes to. expensive teeth
or, rather, an expensive tooth-prob-
ably the costliest, and most highly
priced in the world is. that of the sacred
monkey. It is in one of the temples OF
Siam, preserved in a gold box. The
value the natives put upon it may be
judged by the fact that they paid 3d.
100000 to Portugal for its ransom when
the fortunes of, war placed it in the
possession of that nation. The Cinga-
lese also venerate as sacred monkeys
molar, while the people of Malabar wor-
ship one of the elephants grinders. In
the Tonga islands tooth from sharks
jaw is regarded with great reverence,
and in India the faithful adore tooth
that is said to have once been in active
service in the mouth of Buddha himself.
The first dentist, in fact, must have
lived long before Buddha. At any rate
there were dentists in plenty in Egypt
and Greece 500 years B. c., who used
gold for filling teeth and golden wire
for fixing artificial ones. Gold has
even been discovered in the teeth of
mummies known to be many thousands
of years old-N. Y. Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
PHRre'AJN.. Gap AND THE kNouT.
aIs4ass, 14ten by 9rsassRts Keep Out
- .Gss NJ ~ 4 s1nssis ~ Exils&

As4ass, 14ten by srs4hsRts Keep Out
- I'D nj III A. sAnssieaf Exils4
The French republic, thanks to tho
new alliance between the Phrygian cop
and the knout, has done its best to make
itstsoil insecure Tor those who fed from
the tyranny of cnrdom, says the North
American, Reviews Among Russiansxs
Hes living at Zurich, Geneva.and Lan-
Same spies have latterly been intro.
duced, even in the guiso Of alleged lady
students Of the same nationality. IN
England alone, ptpla ibef Russta ms ~
free, and in England, partly ii couse-
quence Of their contact with the quiet
operation of parliamentary institutions.
partly on account Of q change Of feel.
ing among the cultured classes Of their
own country. men like Stepniek the ~
thor Of Underground Russia" and
kindred works. who once had hand in
the AeepE active hght against autocracy
by Ill available means Of irregular war
fare, have gradually ceased to be con-
nected With the organization Of -
callfdstetroristic attempts. Their Ion
don monthly organ, Free Russsa, Shows
how much they have moderated their
F., demands. ] aS~F '
II the young emperor would pnly con
sent u tie .{ntroduction Of 1ome RIA
of representative assembly, snch as ell
European nations have, and as even The
iultaa hid ssdopteAs shortly before
tTstkef Nssbeaten dowa by TIE armies
.Sfs, tE6sldlsrj H.sthS reigning car
w611d rally around him many who are
At present his adverarie@ in " hat r. be-
lieved to. besths Gimp az tAe mbstf ex-
Irene party.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

~ DON'T quite see why you call Mr..
Bi1Rs lautern-iawod?" "Why, because his
face lights up 50 when he talks. "-Brookly
Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

f. Jos maintained that he was tried in
every possible way. But then Job lived
and died before the fountain pen was In
nted.-Texas Sitter.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

ALMOST all old women wear their dresses
too short-Atchison Globe. :,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

CAscARErss stimulate liver: Kidneys and
bowels. Never ,sicken, weaken or grippe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

PRUDENCE and industry are the best safe
guards against hard luck.-Chicsgo Stand
ard. {
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
Comes

VXIithp better understanding OF the
vVtransient nature offhe many phys
ical ills, which vanish before proper ef-
fuets-9entle MISREPRESENTATION
Fightly directed There is comfort In
the knowledge, that 4psmsny forms Of
sickness are not due to any actual dis
ease, but simply to . constipatedc ondi.
ton of the system, which the pleasant
family laxative, Syrup Of Figs, prompt
Nromoves. That 10 why It Is the only
remedy with millions OF families, andis
everywhere esteemed SO highly BY all
who value good health. Its beneficial
effects are due to the fact, that It IL the
one remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness without facilitating tho
organs on which it acts. It is therefore
ali important, in order to get ito BENG
fetal, effects, TO note when You pur-
chase, that you have the genuine arti-
Gle, which is manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig, Syrup Co. only and sold BY
ali reputs ble druggists.
II In the enjoyment Of good health,
and the system Is regular, laFatives or
other remedies are then not needed. 1t
afaicted with any actual disease, one
NAV be commended to the most skilnul
PHYSICIANS, but if in need of . laxative.
one should have the best, and with the
well-informed everywhere, Syrup OF
Figs stands highest and is most largely
used and gives most general satisfaction.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

De pussons what session de ags Oh Dor
rered troubleCwill at las succeed in hatchin'
de generwine chickens. -Texas SITTER
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

Hap's C9tsrrh Cure
Is taken Internally. Price &c
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

| ,-PIso's Cure for Consumption has no equal
as Cough medicine.-F. M. ABBOTT, 1888
Seneca st., Buffalo, N. Y, May 9, 1894.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
II was about to tell you; MIR. Drum

II was about To- tell ycd; MIR. Orum-
mond, that my name il not Mortimer.
Mr.. Mortimer is my stepsather. These
are, my young pupils" she added.
whom bring out here every morning
as recompense for having mads them
try to twist their little tongues into
speaking our Language" -~"" ~"sr''@' ', '>"',,
During this morning nrd some sub
seauent ones-for it. is curious how
often we happend to meet in the same
place--I learned much of my charmer's
history. Her stepfather was retired
officer whose means had all been swal-
lowed up in a notorious bank failure Of
a few years earlier. They had but e 100
year, and, both being withoutnearrel-
atives, had gone to Brussels to be able
to live cheaply, she adding to their in
come by giving lessons in. English. in
turn told everything there was to tell
Of my, uneventful history allowing,
perhaps that wish which: is sometimes
father to the thought TO influence my
account Of the chances Of my comedy
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

I To CURE woman of stammering ask her
what she thinks of the girl her husband
came near getting engaged to Q couple OF
years before she married him.-Texas
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

JUST try 1Oc box Of Cascarets, the finest
liver and bowel regulator ever made.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15

Or all the wonders OF heworld the Tower
rof Pisa is the leanest.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-10-15
Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life
AWaY.

1 II you want tosquit tobacco using easily
and forever, be made well, strong, magnetic,
full of new life and vigor, take No-To-Bac,
the wonder-worker that makes weak men
strong. Many gain ten pounds in ten days.
Over 100000 cured. Buy No-To-Bac from
your own druggist, who will guarantee
cure. Booklet and sample mailed free. Ad.
sterlipgReah edy Co., Chicago rNew York.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-24
SOME CONTRASTS.

Some notable differences between men
and things are very obtrusive in this
presidential canvass. Mckinley cares lit
tie for the people, except for their votes,
and the people care little for him. He
refuses to go out among them or speak
to them, where they live, and they are
not breaking his rest of nights much by
crowding about him. The corporations
and railroads. however, have undertaken
to supply the missing link between Han
mas man and the masses by hauling train
loads of unwilling employees, coerced by
threats of discharge, to Canton, there to
undergo punishment at the hands of the
man under mortgage.
On the other hand, Bryan llkes the peo-
Pile. He is in fact one Of them, and they
like him. They work or pay their own
way to get to see and hear him. They
believe I'M him because he believes in
them. He stands by and for them, and
for this they will stand by him. They
respect him because he is his own man,
and not somebody else's creature. He is
not under mortgage to any syndicate or
ring. He has refused to make any
pledges to- get help or votes. He did not
get his nomination by buying up either
white or negro delegates at low prices per
head, but by the spontaneous acclaim
and ballot Of free men, every one white,
and not one of whom could be bribed or
bullied He is poor man-honestly poor
but not bankrupt. He tells the plain
truth to plain people, and they like to
hear 1t. He does not utter falsehoods, nor
hack the truth in pieces, thereby to de-
ceive them. From top to bottom through
and through he is American, and believes
in America and Americans He Is cour-
ageous and patriotic enough to believe
like the continental congress of 1776, that
these United States and their 7O,000,0O0 of
people are. and of right ought 10 be free
and independent of all foreign domina-
ton, political or financial; and he has
faith to believe that they are wise and
strong enough to manage all their mat
tiers in their own way without advice
help or orders from any people or power
ON EARTH. And If he is elected president,
as far as it depends ON him there will be
substituted for the present disgrace at
Washington real government of the
people. by the people and for the people,
No one believes that the republicans re-
1y for the election of their candidate on
the free choice of the people of the United
States. They know, and some will even
admit, that but for the corrupt use Of
money and the threat to- discharge en-
ployes and to damage the credit of bust
ness men Mckinley is already beaten,
and that Bryan's majority on the popular
vote would be counted by the hundred
thousands, perhaps by millions. Their
hope Is to corrupt the people. and by q
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-24
BEEN TOO CLOSE TO TRUSTS AND
COMBINES

Senator Smith of New Jersey, who has
heretofore claimed to be democrat, now
returns from Europe fully satisfied that
he is wiser than both the national conven-
ton and the New Jersey state conven-
ton of the democratic party. He there
fore resigns his place on the New Jersey
state executive committee because he
cannot heartily work in the campaign for
the party's success. 1t is somewhat
strange, after talking thus, for him to
say:
But as a democrat, obedient to party
usage, l must and do bow to the will OF
the majority, and unhesitatingly express
my belief that the people may safely
trust a democratic president and con-
gress for whatever legislation may prove
necessary for the welfare of the country"
Very clearly Senator Smith, if 11e thus
believes, cannot believe that the Hanna
ties can be safely trusted with the reins
of power. How, then, can he, a citizen
and a senator, be acquitted of grave der
ELECTION of duty when he fails to work
wherever and however he can be most
effective in bringing success to party
that he says can be safely trusted in
struggle with one that cannot be trusted
at all?
1t was more than suspected some years
ago that the quality of Senator Smiths
democracy was seriously affected by his
near rela tions to certain trusts and COM
bines, and his confession of faith in the
democratic party as worthy of trust was
somewhat unexpected.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-24

paltry bride. or by putting them in fear
for their living, bring them to vote them
selves and their posterity into bondage
perpetual to the money power.
The sole reliance of the democracy in
TINS light Is on the people. They have no
money for corrupt uses; not even enough
Tor the legitimate purposes of the cam
paign. Their appeal is to the patriotism
the manhood and courage of the masses
whose battle for freedom they are fight
ing; battle not for the rights of the nres-
ent but of all oncoming generations as
well. We believe this reliance is we'll
paced. We believe this appeal will he
answered, as 1t should be by American
ireemen on the 3rd of November next
oy an overwhelming majority for Bryan
ana Sewall We believe that Andrew
aohnson knew the people and was exact
~ right when he said to a young friend
just entering political life: "John. al
ways stand by the people, and 7 swear
the people will always stand by yonm
Ihere Bryan stands-like stone wall
Tor the people. Let the people stand nm
TO MIN and for themselves!
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-24
WILL SOON BECOME ExpEp1nNr

carlisle says In substance that wbano,
er 1t becomes expedient, in his Judgment
ne wiz redeem-yes, redeem Is the word,
certincates or deposit in the treasury of
silver dollars and standard silver doi1ars
themselves in gold, and that he will sell
oonos TO get gold to do SO. This means
that whenever the freebooters of wall
street and elsewhere knock at tba tro,.s-
ury door and demand gold for ANYTIME
they please, they will find him waitiny
within, ready and willing to throw IT omen
and invite them to walk In and helm thew
selves at their leisure and pleasure Ara
this Is the state of affairs which Hanna
Gratis invite the people to perpet,,ata IN
aggravated form! Whoever before heard
Oh the policy of redeeming one kind of
current redemption money in another
KIND OF redemption money? Where in
the constitution of the United States is
thereany grant Of authority even to CON-
gress to maintain the parity" between
gold and silver? The whole grant of DOW
er to the federal government In the mat
ter rs tersely and clearly stated in the
fifth paragraph of section of the con-
stitution, namely: ITO coin money reg
ulate the value thereof. and of foreign
coins" This is all. Its power is ex-
hausted in doing these plain, simple
things. Neither the executive depart
ment, nor the congress. nor the judiciary
can go beyond this without lawless usur-
patton. To coin money, or to regulate its
value when coined, canpot be strained or
stretched to mean the maintenance of
the value of either the metals so coined
or of the coins themselves. But what are
constitutions and laws. or even the peo-