davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
A Chinaman's Pun.

DR.. Macmillan, secretary of the Pres.
byterian board Of home missions, told
me the other day of a Chinaman who
actually perpetrated an American pun.
1t happened at the University of Mon
tana, at Deer Lodge. The punning fe-
yer was raging among the students and
penetrated even to the kitchen, where
Ching Lee, or whatever his name was,
presided as cook. The housekeeper OF
the students boarding club went into
the kitchen one day. Ching Lee"
said she, you may cook some hominy
Tor supper" And the Chinaman, with
out q moments hesitation, returned,
"For Observation-Disclosures Post.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

Perhaps more puzzling trick pro-
Vided by the eccentricities Of the tfg-
ure 8 is the following: Let your sub
feet put down any odd number of fig
ures, three, five seven, or even more;
then add them together and subtract
the result. Now he may cross out any
one figure and tell the trickster the
others. 1t is easy, by mentally add
ing them. to discover the value of the
figure crossed out, as this is the one
E,eeded to make up the result to the
nearest multiple of 9. Thus
It6--IO 33,4O4-l4 1898, 1886
10 or IA or 35
d, ixs- o 3x,30O-.1s 1913, 1927
9 3 2
Perhaps the neatest trick with fig
ares is that by which one can discover
the day and month any one was born,
and also his or her age. 1t is not
popular performance with ladies'. 1t
Id done as follows: The subject must
FIRST put down, cOncurrently, making
one group of figures, the day of the
month and the number of such month,
reckoning January as and December
ms II. This, of course, the performer
does not see, but he asks the subject to
double this number; then to add to
It. The result he must multiply by
fifty next add his age, then subtract
fifty next add his age, then subtract
365, and tell you the grand total. BY
mentally adding lis to this, in every
instance the figures plainly show, first
the day, second the month, and finally
the age of the subject. Thus, for IN
lance, il woman were born on the
FIRST Of April and she was IS years old,
her figureoscope would be worked out
as follows:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

What did my little boy learn al
Sunday school to-day?" asked Mrs. Bir-
bingham Of Benny, when he came in
with his lesson paper and reward
card.
81 learned that in the olden times
they had stone fences" replied Ben
py.
How did you learn that?"
Because in the lesson there was L
verse about a stone of stumbling and
b rock of fence. "-Pittsburg Chroni-
Gle.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
Not to Re overrea ohed.

"You want as much for this Their
mometer," said the woman who had
arrived before the store opened so as
to be the first at the bargain counter,
as you did for those you showed me
last August"
'0f course" said the salesman, 'it's
the same Thermometers.
mo, 1t isn't, There ought TO be @
reduction in the price. Those others
had nearly twice as much mercury in
them as these have. Washington Star.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
Fortune Seeking EmiRranta,

Many poor family that seeks the Western
wilds In the hope of winning fortune is pre-
served from that insidious foe of the emil
grant and conference.-the and fever
by Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. so effectual-
fortify the system against the combined I'M.
huence OF a malarious atmosphere and MAS
ma-tainted water that protected by II the
pioneer, the miner or the tourist provided
with 1t, may safely encounter the danger
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

Has found that her little ones are Inn
proved more by the pleasant Syrup Of
Figs, when in need Of the laxative effect
Of gentle remedy than by any other,
and that 1t tn more acceptable to them
Children enjoy 1t and It BENEFITS them.
The true remedy, Syrup Of Figs, il man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Company only.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
$1O.sS.

Another use of the magic is made
in the following effective trick: Let
A put down any number of figures and
show them to you. Then, on another
piece of paper, you privately write the
answer, fold 1t, and give it to some
one TO hold. Then B adds another row
of figures, under which you write a
row. taking care to place under each
of his the particular figure which will
complete the sum of nine, Then G may
write another batch beneath which
you again place numerals, making up
string Of mines. The result upon adj
dition of the whole will be found eX.
actly to correspond with your written
answer, which you had made repeti-
ton Of the first group Of figures, less
two; and with the figure 2 added in
front thus:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
WHAT SHALL OIvR ron cnRIsrMAS1

You can easily settle this question BY send
Ing IS centa to the MERMOD & JAccARD
JEWELRY CO., Broadway, Cor. Locust, 81.
Louis, who In return will send you SOLID
SILVER Handled NAIL FILE, and their new
illustrated CATALOGUE, showing 1900 Of the
most beautiful thiugS In JOwoIry and Silver
wares.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
DUST.

See the man and the porter.
Is the porter brushing the dust out
OF the clothes of the man?
The porter isn't doing thing but
brush the dust out of the clothes of
of the man.
viii the porter leave enough dust in
the mans clothes to buy breakfastP
All, yesl The porter is no hog. De-
troit Tribune.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
Bird, killed BY washington Monument.

Birds Killed by Washington Monument.
1t is said to be fact that hundreds
Of Washington women wear upon their
hats the plumage of birds which have
lost their lives by flying against the
Washington monument in the dimness
Of twilight or daybreak. Hardly a
morning comes that there are less than
a score of dead birds about the base
Of the shaft. Strange to say, few Eng
lish sparrows lose their lives by fly.
ing against the monument.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

"Are there amy Indian ornam onts OF
weapons to be picked up about here?'
asked the Eastern tourist as he alighted
at the station on the plains. "Well
yes" said the bystander. 81 think you
might find scalping knife at the rail
way ticket Office over yOnder."
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

Very low rates will be made by the
Missouri, Kansas and Texas Railway,
on, December LIST and 18th to the South.
For particulars apply to the nearest
local agent, or address, II. A. Cherrier,
n. P. A., 316 Marquette Bldg, Chicago,
Ill.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

profitable buslness-on paper. The
process is this; The tortured trick
bearer is told to put down sum Of
money (agaln on paper, he probably
will not do II otherwise), then to re-
verse the figures and subtract the less
err from the greater. Again the figures
must be reversed and the two lines
added to sether. The unfaillng answer
Ia S10.8g. Here are examples:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

She-Do you believe in long engage
ments? He-Well, 1 think an engage
ment should be long enough to test a
mans constancy and to give the girl
time to learn to cook.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
211242

"A trick much more difficult to ex-
plain is the $10.S9 mystery, but it
should only be done ones during an
evening or among the same set of
friends, for, unfortunately, the answer
never varies. 1t is curious fact that
any sum of money, dollars and cents,
manipulated in certain manner will
produce the inevitable total OF $1O.S9,
provided the original capital is not
more than $40. This looks like
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
Tho UnIvorSal Curse.

Housewife--It is dreadful to think
what whisky win bring a man to.
Tramp-That's so, mum. Afore !
took t de road never thought would
hev T. eat such things ez are bein'
handed out to me every day. Judge.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
Precious Metals.

First Plumber-You don't think the
government stamp can make so cents
worth Of silver worth dollar?
Second Plumber dunno! Many a
time made quarters worth of lead
and solder worth five dollars.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

"Julia, you remember how George
used to love to stuff my sleeves before
we were married." Eyes" "Well--
now he says Great guns, can't you get
some kind of cloak that you can get
into by yourself?'"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
In Cuba.

"OF course" said the secretary, I'VE
have claimed the victory"
''By what plurality?" ASKED General
Weyler, absently.
The unfortunate warrior had been
studying the methods of American
campaign, Puck.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

"Did your son Harry marry an intel
lectual woman?" intellectual? Why
she understands having fannels
washed so they won't shrink even an
eighth of an inch!"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
A Ohestnut.

Mr.. Rosenbaum-No, Miss Isaacstein
l half no ancestors-I STARTED by mine
selluf.
Miss Issycstein--Ach, Mr.. Rosenbaum
don't spring dat old spontaneous
combustion ragged on mel Puck.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

J. E. Tuten detected negro steal
ing salt mullet from his store in Jas
per, Fla, and he then forced the thief
to eat the fish raw.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

Mrs. WinslOw's Soothing Syr1P
Forchildren teethng, softens thogums reduces nam.
nation, allAys pain wind collie, Is cents bottle
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

1t never occurs to boy that he will
some day know as little as his father.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

know that my life was saved by Piso's
Cure for Consumption. = John A. Miller,
Au Sable, Michigan, April 81, 1885,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

Goes Cough Bnlsam
Ia tho Oldest and best 1t Will break up Cold quicker
than anything else tits always reliable Try 1t.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

An ounce of keeping your mouth shut
is worth pound of explanation.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO
LUCAS COUNTY. S.

Frank ]. Cheney makes oath that he is
the senior partner Of the firm Of r. J. Che
ney & Co., doing business in the city of
Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and
that said firm will pay the sum of ONE
HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and
every case of catarrh that cannot be
cured by the use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence, this 9th Day of December,
A. ID. 1885
(Seal) A. w. GLEASON,
Notary public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taket Internally
and acts directly on the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Send for testi-
monials.
F. ], CHENEY & Co., Toledo O
Sold by druggists 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the Best.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

pATEMTc 20years' experience. Send sketch for I'd.
IHIGuIO vice. IL. Deane late prip. examiner U.N,
PatoGleel Deane Weaver. Acdin Bldg. Wash,D.0
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17

MWVNRh and WHISKY habits cured. BOOh usua
WTBWAM FRRB. Dr.. h. NJ. WO0LLRY, ATLANTA, "a
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-17
day IA MONTH
1903 cher totaD
lis added mentality
1418

Her chaperOn was AZ last Dec. Il.
This is how it is found out:
21-12
The advocate., 1896-05-06
The Safest Place.

Gen. Lee used to tell story about Q
dsrky that served In the war. Itseems
during the heat Of the battle the Gen.
ersl and his attendants were posted on
o small knoll watching the course Of
the action. They deserted q COlored
soldier racing toward them, leaplng
over obstacles In his path, his face
blsnChed with fear. He rushed up,
and fell headlong on the ground In
front Of Lee, crying:
"Oh, masss General, lot me stay
here"
Lee saw ct once that the man was
almost frightened to death, and useless
aS soldier. 1t disguOted him some
what, but his curiosity was aroused,
and he asked:
"Did you come here to get out Of ths
way Of the bulletsP"
ayes, mssss; where de generals sm
iS dc safest place on de field. ."--HGr-
per'S Round Table.
The advocate., 1896-05-06
Largest Steer in the World.

The largest steer in the world, prob
ably, Is owned by W. A. Conklin Of
New York. He is 3 years old and
came from Wichits, KsS., where his
parents, both part Jersey, are animals
of only ordinary size. This steer iS 8
feet 6 inches In height and II feet long.
He weighs S,7O0 pounds, and has not
yet stopped growing. Mr.. Conklln
came into possession Of IL In the winter
of 1895 while travelling through the
West. He stopped at Wichita and
heard of the big steer, which was then
only Z feet high, but even that was re-
msrksble for an animal Of that species.
He went to see the steer, and negotiA-
tions were Immediately perfected for
its purchase. Not wishing to bring
the animal East, Mr. Conklin left 1t on
the farm to pasture. During the year
past the steer has grown over two feet
and half In height and iS conSIdsra.
bly, broader and longer Chicago Stock
man.
The advocate., 1896-05-06

foreign corporations to receive all the
protection OF the law, but il a tax
gatherer should attempt to enter the
fair estates of thesylords of the manor
he would be caught and hung ss q
pOaCher,
"Do you tell me these things cannot
be remediedP Do you tell me that the
only thing the Republican party has to
do is to give a banquet once a year,
and elect the same old gang to ConVen.
tions, to write a few resolutions, and
make q few speeches about the dead ?
Do you tell me the exempt property of
the State cannot be taxedS What is
the StsteP DO you tell me the cOnsti-
tuition stands in the wsyP Who made
the constitution Was it written on
paper or was 1t written to continue
until doomsdRy?
"Don't you think the people have
been fooled about long enOughP The
people of this State are supporting
schools and colleges and universities.
What kind Of political economy is
being tsughtP
81 had the pleasure Of speaking
short time ago before the Law Stu
dents Association of Chicago. gave
them a few blunt facts about munich
pal reform. / told them what could
be done, because told them what has
been done. l told them that q thief
who was elected as a member of q
Board of Aldermen and helped another
thief steal franchise, which permitted
it's owners to rob the people for thou
sand years, was worse thief than tSe
man who entered his neighbor'S house
at night and borrowed a few articles
of value without a writ of repleVln,
and forgot to return them the next
morning. One of the Chicago judges
sat upon the platform with me, and he
spologized to the newspapers next day
for being there.
"The remedy is in their (the peOple's)
own hands. Ifthey love slavery better
than freedom, if they prefer death to
life, they will have the satisfaction Of
knowing that their choice was made
freely"
The advocate., 1896-05-06
How Eggs Are Used.

Probably very few people are aware
Of the fact that large proportion Of che
eggs used in this country go into che
manufacture Of some article other than
food. The calico print works use over
100000 eggs each year. Photographic
establishments use millions Of dozens,
and wine CHARTERS call for over 10000 600
dozen. The demand from these sources
increases faster than the table demand.
They are used by bookbinders, kid glove
manufacturers and for finishing fne
leather. To these sources Of demand is
due the high price Of eggs, which 10
very uniformly maintained. American
CWlttDatOT.
The advocate., 1896-05-06

each county, and one additional dele
gate for each 500 votes or major frac-
tion thereof cast for L. ID. Lewelling
for Governor at the election In 1894.
The several counties In said division
will be entitled to representation as
follows: AtchisOn 5, Brown 4, Doni-
phsn 3, Douglas 4, Jackson 3, Jefferson
4. johnson 3, Leavenworth 6, Morris 3,
Nsmshs 4, Pottawstcmie 4, Shawnee
s, Wsbsunsee 3, Wysndotte Z. Total
number Of delegates, 81.
The Peoples party Central commit.
tee in the respective counties viii Ak
the time for electlng delegates to rep.
resent their counties In said Judicial
convention.
By order Of said eastern division
committee.
w. G. WEBB, Chairman.
j. Fl. DREIsBACH, Secretary.
The advocate., 1896-05-06

writer found In it much valuable lnSOr-
nation and will take care that It 10
always kept where It can be referred 10
conveniently at oil times. ADVOCATE
readers will find it q valuable and inter
esting book, and can obtain it by send.
ing 10 cents TO this office.
The advocate., 1896-05-06
Peoples Party Judicial OnVentiOn-Appel-
late Court, Eastern Division, North
ern Department.
ern Department.

IaGe COufC, Eastern DlVlBIOn, NOrgn'
ern Department.
Pursuant to the recommendation of
the Peoples party State Central COM
mittee in its call for the State conVen.
tion held at Hutchinson on the 18th of
March, 1896, the delegates chosen for
that purpose from the several counties
comprising the eastern division Of the
northern department of the Appellate
court met at Hutchinson on said 18th
Of March, and organized as Judicial
committee for such division. w. G.
Webb Of Topeka, Shawnee county, was
chosen Chairman, and J. H. Dreisbsch
of Reno, LeaVenworth county, was
elected Secretary. On motion Of John
7. Little Of johnson county the follow
ing resolutions were adopted:
ReSo7oed, That a Peoples party Ju-
dicisl convention for placing in nomi-
nation candidate for Judge of the
Appellate court for the eastern division
of the northern department be held at
the city of Topeka, on Tuesday, the
4th day Of August, 1895, at 10 o'clock
q. m.
ReSolUed, That the basis Of represen-
tstion In said convention be the same
as the counties comprising said division
are entitled to In the Peoples party
State convention now in session at the
city Of Hutchinson.
A Peoples party Judicial convention
is therefore hereby called to be held at
the Peoples party League hall, in the
city Of Topeka, at 10 o'clock a. M, on
August 4, 1896, to place in nomination
q candidate for Judge Of the Appellate
court for said eastern division Of the
northern department.
The basis of representation at said
Judicial convention is one delegate FOR
The advocate., 1896-05-06
UneQualed Service

Denver TO Chicago, via Kansas City, is
given via the Union Pacific and Chicago 8
Alton Railways.
Through Pullman SleeperS, Pullman Din
Ing Cars and Free Reclining Chair Cars
leave Denver daily. The Union Pacific Is
the great through car line Of the West.
Ask your nearest ticket agent for tickets
via this line. E. L. LoMAx,
Gen. Pass. and Tkt. Agk,
Omaha. Neb
The advocate., 1896-05-06

"Ths Condition Of the American Farmer"
The above Is the name Of q new 64-
page book issued by Hon. H. E. Tau.
beneck, Chairman Of the Peoples party
National committee. 1t contains q
very complete statistical demonstration
Of the fact that the agricultural class Is
not receiving cost for its products. To
the student Of industrial conditions It
is very valuable because Of the fact
that the statistics used are quoted from
reliable authorities and official publica-
tions. 1t Is compiled In an interesting
way, although it Is full Of cold facts.
The concluding chapter was given In
the last issue Of the ADVOCATE. The
The advocate., 1896-05-06
PINGREE ON TAXATION.
Man Who Talks and Acts Like POpu-
ulist, but Is q Republican.

verse City, Mich, last February;
ga tax is q tribute. Taxes are OF
two kinds, direct and indirect. A di-
rect tax is a tax levied by the State or
the city to pay public expenses. An
indirect tax Is q tax which the State or
city permits the favored classes to
levy upon the masses, not to support
the government, but to the classes. He
who pays direct tax of per cent.
curses the government which collects
&c. Many Of those who pay indirect
taxes Of 20 and 80 per cent. seem to be
happy In so doing. They glory in their
shame and slavery.
"To some a direct tax may be an
open enemy, but an indirect tax Is al
ways a secret foe. The direct tax
builds your schools and pays your
teachers, and lights your towns, and
protects your homes, and erects your
ssylums. The indirect tax represents
personifed greed. 1t is nurtured by
Legislatures, guarded by Congress,
protected by courts, fed by deprsved
public opinion and cultivated and
armed. by trust and corporation news
papers, such as exist In every large
city, and even In small towns.
1.-THE indirect tax places mortgages
upon your houses and farms. 1t makes
men old before their time, 1t robS
them of health and ambition. It
causes the concentration Of great
wealth In the hands Of the few.
"Every man should stand upon an
equal footing with every other man
before the law. Open and honest COM
petition should be encouraged. But
those who operate public franchises
should be subject to public control.
1.-THE friends of indirect taxation,
and by these l mean those who receive
the benefits of it, are always engaged
In either deCeiVing or defrsuding the
people. They have plenty of means at
their command, and can afford to have
agents in every walk Of life. These
agents hover around boards Of alder
men, infest the lobbies Of Legislatures,
control csueuses, organize conventions,
write editorials, run for Congress and
hire cheap statesmen to elect them
United States Senators.
"In the days of African slavery,
preachers Of the gospel of Christ went
among the slaves and told them of the
blessings of bondage. The poor, ig-
norant woman was taught to believe
in the divine institution which had
torn her child from her breast and sold
it to slavery. The preachers lied. The
institution of slavery was the DEVILS
oldest child. But when it was killed
the family was not destroyed. The
devil had not got through furnishing
the world with children.
"The poor slave mother is not the
only one that has listened to lies and
taken them for Gods truth. Religious
superstition is not the only superstl.
tion, History tells US of martyrs and
saints who lived upon towers, and who
whipped themselves with cords, and
who tortured themselves. The State
of Michigan is full Of just such mar
tyrs and saints. They read party plat
forms and they shout, Amen They
talk about divine right Of voting, and
The advocate., 1896-05-06

Youths Companion (price Sl.75)
with the ADVOCATE, both one year fOr
$3.50.