The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1896-04-25
The TOP Rail Is Too Sharp.

iOuS patches on the gable END OF MS
breeches.
The Top Rail Is Too Sharp.
So that's what makes me tell you
what 1 do about q man that amt got
no better sense than to put his hand
into the pleasant but uncertain game
of American politics, and then try to
browse around on both sides of the
branch.
In politics Handy Stribblin is what
you most in generally always draw
when you buy ticket in the lottery
blankety blank. That would be per-
fectly all right If he would but only
lay down his hand and stay out of the
game. But in tryin to stand in with
both sides of a fight he is more than
probable to back himself up agin ire
mendius big snag when he amt lookin
for it. And that's how come Handy
Stribblin dropped his jug and split his
molasses down in the Flat woods that
day.
1T was none of my business and
nothin to me which side win the day."
says Handy to me in talkin over the
bloody past. There was plenty of
third party people and whole passlc
CT democrats on the grounds, you un-
derstand, Rufe, and / didn't give fid-
dier's durn as to which was which or
who was who. They was all my friends
and fellow citizens, as it were, and the
mainest thing with me was to keep in
the middle Of the road and play for
even all around. But in the main time
the campaign whisky was flown right
tolerably free and plentiful, which as
usual 1 was fool enough to take nib
bic at the bottle every time it was
handed around. Understand me. now,
Rufe. didn't git drunk, but off and on
in durin of the day had clum up around
so scandlous much sperits till along
in the shank of the e,enin got things
powerful bad muddled and mixed up.
The next thing knowed had hollered
for the democratic party, whilst a
third party man was PAWN the air t.
third party multitude, and the null
titude run over me like storm on
wheels. And then, like a blasted Id
lot which I was, showed my hand as
q third party man in crowd Of all
wool, fire eatin democrats. and two or
three of EN- went through me more
quicker than dose of salts. Finally
at last, when come back to my senses
l mounted my mule and rid on back
home. The politics of this country arc
plum rotten anyhow, Rufe--a great pile
Of corruption, as it were-and blame
my cats if 1t amt the last time you viii.
ever hear tell Of Handy Stribblin mes
sin up his lily-white hands with any
sich."
BY the time you have lived as long
and covered as much ground and trav-
eled as many gaits as / have. Handy.
you will find out that the ways OF the
straddler are hard. The top rail is
most too sharp for me.
The Horse Was Thar.
The last time Andy Lucas went to
town he had hard fight with horse
trader from somewhere over in Ken-
lucky, and both of EN- give the caln-
boose mighty close shave.
The way in which it came to pass
was all on account of horse swap be-
tween Andy and the gentleman from
Kentucky. The trade was made along
in the Christmas, wherein Andy
snapped big black horse, with diAh
face and three white feet, for whackin
good young mule. The gentleman from
Kentucky wanted to know if the horse
would work kind and gentle anywheres.
and Andy went on to give him the main
est pints in the case.
"As to saddlin qualities" says Andy.
81 will quarantine that horse to go all
the gaits and stand hitched. have
never saw him hooked up in single har-
ness, and couldn't say for certain what
he would do in that case. But you can
hook him to a wagon, at the wheels or
in the lead. and fling on heavy load,
and when you come to a steep hill or a
rale hard pull the horse is right thar.
sir, the horse is right thar"
So the trade was closed and clinched,
and Andy got on his mule and rid on
back home. The next day the gentle
man from Kentucky. struck up with old
man LAS Stringer, from over in the
hill country, and wanted to trade him
the black horse for general farm work.
They hooked him in with mule to a
wagon, which was loaded with two
bales of cotton, and the first hill they
corne To bless gracious the horse was
fright thar" like Andy Lucas said.
But that wasn't all. By gatlins he
stayed right thar" The gentleman
from Kentucky whipped and slashed
and cussed till the air was blue for
miles around, but old Blackie he was
fright thar" and thar to stay till some
thin froze over.
Andy Lucas maintains till yet that
be never told the gentleman from Ken