Evening star., 1896-11-14

ton with the new admnistration-all these
widely separated women have now a
! common interest-to know what they must
ear, what they must say, what they
must do to gain the favor of Mrs. Grundy
at the national capital.
My dear sisters from Oklahoma Seattle,
Oshkosh, Kalamazoo, Boston and where not
1 want to tell you that in entering upon a
sc cial career at Washington what you must
say and what you must co are mere
ultimate incidents, determined in a general
way by necessity governing your course
which takes preceiance Of everything else.
You must think-there now, don't let me
scare you out of your poor little wits. The
law Of social success is not cruel enough TO
demand that you personally shall think. 1t
may be done by proxy, and commonly is SO
done, at a hice salary, which last named
item brings Us to the consideration of the
second great necessity controlling your tri-
un pin.
You must have money-money to burn.
But that is not dill; you must burn it.
Brains to direct the burning and a sea of
molten gold on which to ride-society at
the capital is yours. Whether you play
golf or ride a bicycle does not matter
You are an authority-you may even be
original IN your grammar and eccentric
In your antecedents, but dearly under
stand this:
Your social power is in no degree derived
from your husbands official position
Office and Society,"
To get into Office at Washington is one
thing; to get into society is quite anotn-
er; and there is no road, not even a nickei-
plated road, that leads from the polls to
the court of Mrs. Grundy. To be sure
nickel-plated road may bear senatorial
freight into this court, but you must OBJ
serve fine distnction-the freight is re-
celVed at court not because il is sena-
torial, but because the road is nickel-plated.
1 nat is to say, Senators, Representatives
and that sort, as such, have no more
standing in Washington society than have
retired merchants, though both in the per
son OF their wealth are gods, great or
small, according to the figure of their
wealth.
Thus. my dear little Mrs. New-Congress-
man from Kalamazoo who fancy that on
the strength Of your husbands official no.
sltlon all else you heed to cover you with
social glory at Washington is a black satin
gown with two waists, one high in the
back for church aid calling, and one low
in the neck for the Presidents receptions
XII CIV the truth in time to spare yourself
bitter disappointment. So far from YOUR
poor little individual official self having any
place among The smart set at the capital
the whole body of Congress is not so much
as known to exist.
Congress has adjourned and gone home
am told
"Ah, really, don't you know nobody had
told me ii was here"
Thus L CHANGED to hear the remoteness of
the official world from polite society defined
on the links of the Washington Golf Club
last spring. To know about Congress is as
vulgar as to know about any other shop,
and Congressman, who are merely Con-
gressmen-truly, they are no more known
TO Mrs. Grundy than tradespeople.
What Mrs. New-Congrcssman May
Expect.
I can tell you, Mrs. New-Congressman
precisely what you have to expect on
coming to Washington to live. In the first
place, you will not live; on the contrary,
in all probability you will board. If you
have only your husbands salary to cover
expenses. your provincial dream of hav-
ing a nice little home near the White
House, where you can exchange pies and
gossip with the Presidents wife, and be
handy for your guests when you want to
give cabinet dinner-this vision of hos
pitality born of 4 local estimate of your
husbands great good fortune in being
elected to Congress will vanish into thin
air after you have spent just about one
day looking for a house in Washington.
Anything in a fashionable quarter will
cost you at a lucky figure not less than
$50 a month, and most of these houses,
which are specially designed to be de-
luaion aid a snare for innocent ambitious
new Corgressmen's wives. are so badly
first winter would necessitate you hypoth
ecating your husbands pay account fer
the remainder of his term. Then until
you learn that quite the most fash
ington is not to pay your butcher and
grocer, this fashion, in vogue among so
many who have learned it. will require
your butcher and grocer to charge you so
er ormously for everything you eat that
well after possibly retreating by easy
stages, first to less expensive places on
Capitol Hill, and finally for time abiding
in the heart Of Darkest GEORGETOWN Won
merely looking about a bit, you are Alto
gether likely to board in the beginning.
The Congregational boarding House.
There are numerous boarding houses in
town where they make a speciality Of Con-
Gressmen. have lived In one of these
myself, and 1 warn you, of the two evils,
you might better try light housekeeping
You are expected to eat and sleep on the
rare social advantages these houses af-
ford. You are introduced to everybody
and everybody is introduced to you, and
the landlady always mentions you as Mrs.
Cor greSSman So-and-So. You never have
any meat for dinner that you can swal-
low, and the coffee might as well be tea
fer all you know what it is drinking It, but
you have card parties every night, hop
once week, with an occasional musicale
and you and the other Congressional la
oies" are given the privilege of the draw
irg room for your regular weekly recep-
ticn. There are other boarding houses
where even the social advantages are lack
ing, and there arc apartment houses but SO
much is to be said for your encourage
pent wherever you spend your first sea-
son in Washington, creature discomfort
VIII so harden You that provisions for the
r. st OF your term are more easily made
You can either take to drink to drown the
sorrows of boarding, or you will have ac-
quired Washington conscience, which en-
abieS you to keep house comfortably at the
expense of accommodating creditors. 1t
has come to be firmly established prin-
ciple of commercial success in WASHINGTON
that men who can not be agreeable credi-
tors have to go out of business. 1t is only
people who pay their bills on whom a
butcher or grocer may profitably vent a
nasty disobliging disposition.
Cabinet Lady's Reception.
For the matter of your relations with the
Presidents wife and the cabinet ladies,
I'll tell you characteristic bit of history
about a greatly favored new Congress
mans wife of the last Congress. Her hus-
band knew a certain Secretary very we'll
personally, and the Secretary bade the
Congressman be sure to bring Mrs. Con-
gresham around on New Year day. The
elated little woman went prepared to stay