The evening times., 1896-09-05
FRIENDS, BUT THEY FOUGHT
Saloonkeeper and a Constable
in a Scrimmage.
STORY PUZZLED THE JUDGE
After yainly Trying to DisentaESls
Dismissed the Case-Man WhOCould
Not Sleep nt Night Arrested as
Vagrant.

court this morning reflected the grim
yisages of fourteen uufortunates who had
committed trifiing offenses against law
and order.
Jesse Shures, sixteen years Old, stood
trial for overdriving horse belonging
u L.lverynian Mayes, on July 2 last. IL
was one very warm Sunday, and, the
iveryman said, the animal had not yet
fully recovered
Mayes saw Jesse, in company with an
other boy, driving at a rapid gait, aud
when he approached they left the car
riage, and since that time have eyaded
the efforts of officers TO arrest them.
We didn't drive over eight miles an
hour said the boy.
why, your honor" interrupted Lawyer
Moss, Il could. walk six miles an hour with
lame feet and new Shoes
You must be splinter said his honor,
doubling the attorneys abiIty to win a
walking match.
Il viii very uDwillingly discharge tbs
boy said Judge Kimball On an ordi-
nary day eight miles an hour is not too fast,
and it was probably the boy nisjudement
OF the proper rate Of speed"
NEXT DOOR NEiGHBoRs.
William Brazil aud Carrie Wedge are
next door neighbors in Stones alley, SOUTH
west, and for some time they have not dwelt
together in peace.
Carrie has a passion for swearing out
warrants to get her neighbors into court.
Wednesday mig tCarIle, WHO'S broad enough
physically, to block an ordinary highway,
collidcd with William in front Of her resi-
deDce. THIS caused William to curse and
swear, Carrie said.
Hold up Your right hand and be sworn,"
said Bainn Kendig, as Williams took the
stand TO tell his side OF the neighborhood
squabble. William couldn't have complied
with the bailiff's order, il he had had to go
10 jail for life. He lost that member of his
anatomy when he was n member of u col
ored regiment in the war. Williams hair
is long, in the Samsonian style, and care
fully conbed over his ears. He presented
n pitiful condition, and got off without a
fine.
Insomnia must have troubled Wesley Toll
son last night, for he couldn't sleep and so
arose and strolled out upon Half street
southwest The stars were brightly gleam-
ing, and Wesley WAS charmed. He was
silently soliloquiziDg when Officer Har-
rover came up and vagged the star gazer
HE WAS sTRoLLING.
Judge, couldn't sleep" said Wesley.
AN humble looking negro, land goes out
fer jes' stroll Deed, jedge, didn't
know II was l O'Clock. j meets my gal
and we takes walk and | was goin'
hcnie"
'.ODe O'Clock is too late to be walking
with your girl. Now, you go home and
keep off the street at such wee small hours
of the Dight," said his honor.
Constable Gould and Saloonkeeper Chris
topher Hager, who dispeDses cooling
draughts of the amber fluid In an establish
ment on Xhirty-second street, were fast
friends until yesterday. They were old
chums. addressed each other as George"
and Chris, 'clinked their glasses nd drank
to each others health and longevity. -fa
When the constable felt athirst he was
prone TO drop in and Chris was always
ready to .'set 'em up" They have even
been known to go out and have good
time together when the custodian of the
law was not acting in his official capacity.
Now, they don't speak as they pass by, but
grind their teeth at each other, somewhat
like bulldogs. Friendships ties are sew
cred, and it was all because the constable
was compelled, in the discharge OF his duty
to serve an attachment upon his former
friend.
Hager and his landlord have had trouble
over their rents, and the latter got out an
attachment for his tenant. 1t was the
most unwilling task George ever was
called upon to perform. 1t appears that
the constable's writ was in error, aud
Hager's lawyer. David Classic, being pres
ent, advised his client not TO permit its
execution.
FIGHT BETWEEN FRIENDS.
The constable's eye lit upon a barrel of
old Kentucky Pepper whisky. He started
to attach il, and Chris interposed. Then n
struggle ensued, and in the conflict the
constable said he was roughly handled and
elected from the place where he had erst-
while been a welcome guest.
Then George had CHRIS arrested for as
sault.
The saloon keeper is short, rugged
looking little Dutchman, with capacity for
several bootleg schooners.
George don't got de odority to drespass
den on my brimises, said the saloon keeper
dot baber vas nicht rick. l say, George
you dakes dot parrel of visky vrom my
blaze, you rolls-it ober my tet pody'
says, George, mine trent, don't you do
dot
shoulders ,and l don't touch hims vonce.
He mine trent, don't makes no drouble."
"This contradictory evidence is too much
for me-" said Prosecutor Mullowny. IN
leave 1t to your honor
''And I'll dismiss the case" returned the
court.