Omaha daily bee., 1896-09-03

Chicago Record; DO you, know wb
girls always cry at wcddings?"
Yes, they want to keep the bride frois
suspecting that they envy her.
Harlem Life: Young wife-oh. John, tn
rats have eaten all my angel cake.
Husband-Whati All of It.?
Young wife Every piccel | feel lke cry
Husband-oh. pshawl Don't cry over n
few rats.
.Harpcr's, Bazar; Hear Towser barking az
the manu- organ man said MoHte-
',,Wonder II he thinks he's saying any
"of course he does" said Tommie. Hes
singing, You shan't play in our yard"
Chicago Tribune: Sidewalk Politician
Don't YOU know that under free silver the
when prices are hlgh?
w G~TSSgrTTR zen, wSIh,y i in the, n "a 1S cS OF Tom S6r
that basket Of peaches!
somcrville Journals: when the truly goo.
mans straw hat blows on and goes rolling
through the mud, everybody listens with
especial interest just to see II he won't
swear.
indianapolis Journals: "Jehiel seems to be
kinder. b%renkin', don't you Think" asked
the neiChbor.
Hos iosin, sleep is what's the matter
siSts on settin' up every night TIM sixteen
minutes to one, jest TO show his devotion
liz NduSts
Cincinnati Enquirer: Did YOU try that
he was in the middle of his speech?"
Yes. and 1t fizzlcd. johnson was a street
car co,nrSdggctor at one time"
u made the mistake of ringing twice
and he took II as Z, compliment. Thought
1t was a signal for him to 20 ahead"
Detroit Free, Press: "How much is this
calico q Yard inquired "A feminine shopper
of n tired clerk,
Thirteen cents a yard, ma'am,' he
"rhirtecn is an unlucky number"
"Tes'm, that's so. I'll make II fourteen
and call 1t even"
New York Tribune: winks-I tell you
there Is something about the possession Of
tidcnce. History shows that all monarchs
have been calm and self-poised.
remember that Charles /. of England lost
his head at a very important period in his
career.
THE COURSE OF EVENTS.
Washington Star.
The west wind wooed the autumn leaf
What Villainy is in n pun!
What phrases rare 1t brings to grief!
What gentle fancies are undone!
The west wind wooed an autumn leaf,
And to his bosom ,fondly took it.
Then follows like a lurking thief
The knowledge that the west wind shook It.
WHEN THE CORN is LAID by.
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
Thar's lots or things I'm swine to do
When the corn's laid by;
I'll hunt the shade and hug 1t. too, \
When the corn's laid by. !
I'll set down by the CriCk an fish,
An mebbe l will get my wish,
Tibet one | know will come an say:
Now hain't it good to see the day
When the corn's laid by?"
An mebbe she will set by me,
When the corn's laid by,
An lean her head agin' my knee,
When the cOrn'S laid by.
Tibet hit will be the finest treat
An mebb9 then, at shell agree
To what | aXed-well,, we will see.
When the corn's laid by.
Then mebbe she'll come home with me. !
An live beneath the old roof-tree,
When the corn's laid by. /
In fact, 1 spect she'll be my wife
To love an cherish all my life,
An rely I could never ask
A better or n sweeter task,
When the corn's laid by.
When the corn's laid BY
For then the rest of fairs begun,
When the corn'S laid by.
The work will js' be harvestin'
An film every empty bin,
To feed the folks, an cattle, too.
An arm old Father Winter thoo,
When the corn's laid by.
AnotR Rro thi ne I'm goin' to do,
I'm gwinter lick that Hogan crew,
When the corn's laid by.
Ef ,twarn't for losing, from the plough. \
An so | reckon l kin wait,
For sholy hit woan be too late,
When the corn's laid by.