Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-05-21

Heat expands and cold contracts: but
there are exceptions. Coal and gas
bills are larger in winter than in sum.
Neutrality-suspicious. Herald.
Louise, where does the intellectual
exercise come in in playing whist?"
"Oh, in getting other people to pay at
tention to the game. Chicago Record.
Mother-No. Bobby; money doesn't
make folks happy-but I'll tell YOU
what does. Bobby know, ma; it's
the stuff what you get with it.-Judge.
Don't you think that Charity is a
queer title for your new book?'' 'Not
| at all. Charity begins at home, you
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES North American.
Mrs. Wickwire- Why don't you ever
wash your face? Dismal Dawson
Don't want the sun to git a chance
to Spite me complexion.-Indi
Journal
"After all, man is generous being"
Yes, he is; / never saw husband
yet who wouldn't let some other man
| teach his wife to ride wheel.n-Chi-
cago Record
To Fit the Appetite. -"What do YOU
charge for board?" "DoSyou ride q
| bicycle? Eyes; what difference does
that make?' It'll be 81 more weekr,
Chicago Record
RepOrter-Here's a bit of news that
is as scoop. City Editor-What is. it2
Reporter-The shovel manufacturers
have formed a Observation-Disclosures
North American.
Hipson-Layson is the LATEST man
l know. Juggles-Is that so? Hipson
Yes. Why, that man won't even
| carry life Insurance. PHILADELPHIA
| North American.
Doctor said the anxious mother.
William can hardly speak above
whisper" Indeed? Has he taken
cold, Or did he go to the ball gamer
Washington Star
Generally That's the Hardest of
Work. Uncle Tom, what is executive
ablllty!' Its knowing how to make
other people work without doing any.
thing yourself. Chicago Record.
1t is not the proper thing to say that
man Will make a good husband. II
Is the wife who makes the good hus-
band. The bad ones only are the self
made article.-Boston Transcript.
He-"Oh, dear! l wish / could get
hold of some good biscuits like mother
used to make for mev' She-"And ]
wish | could get some good clothes like
father used to buy for me" -Indianap-
oils Journal.
1.-THE trees are leaving" remarked
Mrs. Snaggs. Nevertheless they are
not packing their trunks replied Mr..
Snaggs, who objected to his wife's
coined verb. "-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph
Its terrible he said, ito see the
way one member Of Congress after an
other gets unseated." Well" his wife
answered, lit serves them right for
giving in to the bicycle craze KANSAS
City Star
Lieut.. Peril am afraid you couldn't
stand the rigor Of an Arctic expedi-
ton. You never have been on one be-
fore, have youw Travole--"No, but I
have spent winter in an English
hotel. Life.
Marry that--that-' She heSitated.
No word seemed strong enough to
adequately express her contempt.
why, marry that-thing? Marry
man that rides tricycle?" -Washing-
ton Evening Times.
Robbie, you are perfectly awful to-
day; and just when grandma is visit
ing us, toO!' well, ma, it's only to
please you. You told me the Other day
that you thought kept my good man.
ners for visitors "-Harpers Ba-
Ear.
'But why did you refuse Prof. Grneb-
ling, Miss Melanie? He is such an able
and noted mathematician" That's
just the reason! He would always be
mathematically demonstrating the
errors of my milliner's s."-Humor-
istiche Blaetter.
81 suppose when you were in the
White Mountains last summer you en-
ioyed the echoes very much?' ''No, I
didn't. / went to hear them with
oEdille HIIdfu, anu When IHey repeat
ed what he said they really bored me
very much. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Courtier-"Has your majesty read
the History of the Sixteenth Dynasty
by the royal historian? 1t is master
piece" The King of Egypt-"Truly it
is, but he ought to boil it down. Tt is
long enough to cover three pyramids,
and he knows / can't spare him more
~,