The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-04-16

| tineud shaking his head until the tassdl
on the top of his cap swung to and fro
! like pendulum.
WELL" he at last remarked, "this is
the funniest apparatus l ever saw
| Where is the coffee?" When suddenly
| Fannie, in her usual impulsive way
| cried:
what a set of fools we all are! We
| forgot all about putting in"
Sure enough. a napkin had been acct
dentally thrown oveE the ground coffee
brought in by Fannie, and during the
| prevailing excitement of expectancy
nobody had given it a thought.
| My wife was delighted. Her ma
chine was to be redeemed after all.
After favoring me with another ami
hilating look, the second act of the
drama began. Not single word was
spoken. We were awaiting develop
| meDts.
Again the seething and bubbling
sound, and even the aroma of steaming
coffee filled the room. The brown
| fluid could be seen passing through the
tube, and EXPLANATIONS Of surprise and
/ CoNelNI Vic Ups VI bllOSC
| present. Anna was all smiles and sum
shine.
81 trust" she said to me, mischievous-
ly, that you have not forgotten the adj
dress where to buy that brooch we
were talking about yesterday"
Even father nodded, satisfied and
pleasantly.
This is a practical machine" he
unused, complacently pouring out the
first cup of the brown beverage, land
what an aroma, but rather an odd sort
of smell. Strange, isn't it? What does
it smell like?"
The old man lifted the cup to his
lips and tasted the contents. With 4
| jerk he set it down again upon the table,
making wry face.
"rll be. L ask your pardon, but
that stuff has positively wicked taste;
monstrous, abominable, fie! What the
dickens does it taste like?"
| He eXpectorated several times and
pressed his hands to his stomach as
if nauseateed.
Just like eau de cologne, father"
| suggested, "a very agreeable smell,
don't you think? A trifle odd when
taken with coffee, but you will I'M
doubtedly get used to the taste when
you once become familiar with the ma
chine"
For shame, husband" said my wife,
chow mean of you! Undoubtedly Fan
ME has accidentally spilled drop of
eau de cologne into the boiler while
filling the lamp. Where is the harm?
1t is Bit unpleasant, it is true, but
that is all there is to it. W. will have
to try again, for the machine works
all right. OF that we ought to be con-
WINGED now"
| Hold" objected father, lifting his
hand with protesting gesture toward
the coffee machine, mo more of this
monkey business. | would rather that
Anna make us all cup of coffee now in
the old.ashioned way, and later you
may continue your experiments as long
as you like. The machine is just SPLEEN
did, children" he continued, land I
thank you heartily for your thought
| fulness in giving it to me, but there is
| something strange and odd about it
to which | must get used first, and that
takes time for a man of my age"
Before we go any further with it."
| added, "let us tell the girl to give it
thorough cleaning. Lottie to the
| cook-"take this machine into the
kitchen and scald lamp and boiler with
| hot water and soda or some such stuff p"
The girl went off with her burden.
| Shortly afterward we were startled by
loud report, followed by frightened
screams from the kitchen and by a
sound of falling and breaking pieces.
| Something told me that again it was
that ill-fated machine. I opened the
kitchen door. Sure enough the girl in
a dark corner had stumbled with her
burden, and the MISREPRESENTATION
coffee-and-tea macrine lay broken on
the floor. The poor, frightened girl
sobber, Fannie scolded, my wife wrung
her hands in despair; 1 bit my lips I'M
derneath my bushy mustache. and ia
Their looked pleased and relieved.
| Never mind, children" he said, cit
is best so. l take this for a sign from
above. Providence has interfered. I
am conservative in my ideas, and am
therefore not over fond of the present
era of machinery. Stop crying, grip
this to the cook-"and brew a good cup
of coffee for my company. And now
no more about the matter. l do not
wish to have my birthday spoiled"
How about our bet, Anna?" l asked
my wife.
you have lost that" she quickly re-
sponded. THE machine was in per-
feet order, if only"
"Ies, if only it had not been so i'm
perfect! No, my dear, this time you
have lost and not L. You had better get
ready to go for my rocking chair!"
what bet are you quarreling about,
you two?" asked the old man.
| l told him all, and called on him to
decide who had won.
Both of you," was his diplomatic
opinion, which created another contro-
yersy between Anna and myself. Mean
while Lottie appeared with the coffee,
made in ''old-fashioned" style, and the