The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-09-23
The Hdmorods
Side OF Politics
Compiled by the Times-Herald

Compiled by the Times-Herald
ONE CHANCE I.OST-Champ Clark
tells an amusing story of Bryan's earlier
political career. At the time of which
Clark speaks Bryan Was n fedgling in nn-
t.onal politics, and few people dreamed
that he would be the presidential candi-
date of one of the great political parties.
Bryan had been invited. with n dozen
| other men. TO address q political meeting
at Omaha. The chairman introduced u
long line of more or less distinguished
statesmen who We're called judge, colonel,
major, general, or by some other title.
When 1t drew near Rryan's turn to speak
he began to think that he had no title, but
he thought that he might get some ad-
VertisinS out of the address for his strug-
cling business as L lawyer at Lincoln. So
he went to the chairman and whispered
tn him that when his time carle to ad-
dress the assembly he should like to be
introduced as Mr.. William J. Bryan, the
rising young attorney of Lincoln" The
chairman grunted an assent. but when he
introduced Bryan he did Il in these words
/ Mr. Bryan will now speak"
And SO the chance to gain an advertise
nent was lost.
ACCORDING TO HABIT-"Ex- Cover
nor Waite, of Colorado, IL an original
/ character, and while he has broad theories
as to national finance, he has never been
able to make a personal! appleton of
/ these theories to the extent of accumulat-
ing much filthy lucre," said Stanley
Wood, of Colorado. ''rhc ex-governor's
: son-in-law is Il highly respected newspa-
per editor and proprietor, and has al
ways been a -stanch Republican In poll
tics.
/ when Waite became the candidate OF
the Populists for governor his son-in-law
had a hard proposition to solve, AS Il
! Republican he could not consistently vote
for the Popuiist candidate, much less
could he advocate his election edltor!aly.
but as a loyal and fectionate relative he
was bound to give both his vote and his
voice to his father-in-law. While the
struggle was going on in his mind a
friend approached him and snid:
! Your fathcr-in-law is a Popul!st You
arc Republican, are you going to sup
port your father-!n-law during this cam
paign:'
"'rhe editor pordered moment and
then replied: AS have supported him
for the last five years ] don't see any rea-
son why | should change my course
, now"
/ Ills INTRODUCTION-"T most
amusing experience | ever had in a poilti-
/ cal campaign" said Ma jov Moses y. Han
! dy, was in 1884 when Blaine was can
ddate for president. l had been invited
TO speak with naire and Beaver at a
I town In northeastern Pennsylvania.
I Blaine and Beaver were absent, but / was
there. The hall was filed with an cnor-
t nous audience in anticipation of Blaine's S
coming, when a telegram was received
that the distinguished orators had missed
the train.
/ THE chairman was disappointed, but,
having one orator In the person of myself,
determined not to lose the opportunity to
let the assemblage hear good Republican
doctrine. So he got up and began as fol-
. lows:
Gentlemen, We expected to have with
lis this evening that great Republican, the
idol of our party, the plumed knight, the
honorable James q. Blaine our canuidate
for president
tremendous applause
But Mr.. Blaine could not come. We
! expected to have with us this evening that
, gallant veteran than whom no man is
dearer to the heart of a Pennsylvania
the governor of this great commonwealth,
| Hon. James A Beaver
! More applause.
But General Beaver could not come
| We expected to have with us this even
ing that representative OF all that is best
In Pennsylvania Journalism, the eminent
editor of the Philadelphia Press, Mr..
Charles Emory Smith,"
More applause.
But MIR. Smith could not come How
ever, gentlemen, we have with us this
evening one of the most popular Republi-
cans In Pennsylvania. an eloquent orator
man known to every one of you, Mr.
"And, turning to me, he asked In voice
loud enough for every one to hear:
Beg pardon, sir, but what did you
say was your name?"
PREFERRED TO BE, HANGED-"You
know that Michigan IS one of the few
states in the union where capital punish
ment Is forbidden by law" said Frank
II. Hosford. secretary of the Democratic
campaign committee, 'and the people are
very tenacious of the good name of tn,
state In that respect, and although some
persons in every legislature for many
years have undertaken to restore the
death penalty, the proposition has al
ways been defeated. But the question
'bobs up serenely with every legislature
there Is any amount of oratory and long
contests I'm each house of the legislature.
Some years ago an amusing thing hap.
pened while the debate on this bill was
pending in the house at Lansing. Three
sat near each other OH the right side OF
the house, made succcscively long and
vigorous speeches on the question. all IN
favor Of the hanging bill. When the last
one took his seat a young man on the ex'
treme left of the house rose quickly and
said: Mr.. Speaker l rise to a question OF
privilege The gentleman will state his
question of privilege said the speaker
Mr.. Speaker continued the young man
4 want to inquire of our friends on the
other side of the house which they think
Is preferable-to be hanged or talked tC
death This statement was greeted will
great applause, promptly checked, how
ever, and turned against its author by 6
big-voiced member, who rose right back o.
the three offenders, and called out, in {
boiler-factory voice: well If you're goins
TO talk, we prefer to be hanged
HAD TO BE A CANDIDATE-"A goot
story Is told on the late Senator Vance
who died two years ago." said Senator
/ Jones, of Arkansas. "As j remember II
Vance was travelling down in North Caro-
lima, when he met an old darkey one Sun
day morning. He had known the old maj
for many years, so he took the liberty Of
inquiring where he was going.
~ am sab, pedestrianin' my appointed
way to de tabernacle of dc Lord
".Are you an Episcopaian" inquired
Vance.
"'No, sab. can't say dat am an Epis
pokapilian.'
Maybe you are Baptist?
mo sah ! can't say dat rs ever beer
buried wild de Lawd in waters of baptism.
"'Oh I see. you're Methodist.