Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-29
PuIIing Down Our Vest.

This is story of Senator Vest Our
hero is an emanatiOn of Kentucky, where
he was born hard by sixty-six years ago.
Providence wrought wisely when the
future was sealed against foreknowledge
on our parts. 1t is better to go blunderinS Z
alcnt, in the dark. If Daniel Boone, as he
scrambled through the Allegrenies and
tangled himself up with the red first pro-
prietors of that commonwealth. had fore
seen that kentucky was fated to give
birth to Vest and jeff Davis and Mills and
Palmer and Secretary Francis and Breck-
ehridge, he never would have had the heart
to discover it. Yes, Vest was born and
grew up slowly and painfully to be the
mar one sees him now. 1t was about
forty-tive years ago. Our hero was wan
dering at midnight's holy hour on the
banks of the murmuring Ohio. Suddenly
he came upon Il fiatboat, whereon poker
game had taken refuge from public opin-
ion. AT this time Vest did not play poker
and knew no more of a full hand than
he did of the Rosetta stone. 1t may have
been the mere bouyancy of a boyish spirit.
Ii may have been that he sought to defend
his native village from the stain of poker.
BE what ii may as an impulse. young Vest
cast off the lines and set that game OF
chance adrift on the sobbing river. 1t was
o'clock in the afternoon when n Green
River tug towed the poker game back to
town. AS it contained the circuit judge,
Kentucky gentlemen. and as they We're
promptly indicted for their evil courses.
Vest fell into disfavor. Then he went to
Missouri. When the war broke out Vest
interested himself on the side of the South.
1t was early in the fracas when Vest
mounted on mule, presented his un-
broken front TO the invading Yankees. The
Northern mudsills were distant about n
mile at the time, and all would have been
well If Vests mule hadn't lost its reason
ami started as hard as ever mule did pelt
in this world for the Yankee, lines. Vest
accompanied the demoralized mule about
hundred yards, and then had the pres
ence of mind to hurl himself from the
saddle. The mule Joined the Yankees,
while Vest again repaired to the Con-
fedeIacy. This was Vests only encounter
with an armed foe. Following this ad-
venture, he was elected to the Confederate
congress. where he served with the great
est volubility until Grant adjourned that
historic body sine die. Dispassionate men
have told me that the Confederate con-
gress never bore on its heroic rolls more
intrepid talker than Vest. 1t was divers
and sundry years ago in 1879 in good
SoCth, when Vest came to his present seat
in the senate. Following 1865 Vest had
reset his fractured patriotism. and it had
healed, and the bones had knit success
fully. In 1879, therefore, when Vest came
to Washington, one could not in a long
summers day have found a statesman
who, for salary and perks. loved his coun-
try any better than did Vest.
When our hero struck the capital the
place was strange to him. He didn't know
where to hunt food and lodgings. But he
was from Kentucky and Joe Blackburn
was from Kentucky, so Vest placed himself
in Blackburn's hands as a sacred trust TO
hunt him a boarding house. Blackburn
took his fellow countryman home to the
hnkt n1rrr In h
ence. 1t was on F street, near Ninth, and
even in the darkness of the evening Vest
saw that the lower floor was given over
to trade. He got a room and paid a
north in advance. Then he went to bed
and slept ftfully. The place had a gloomy
perfume, but Blackburn said it was a
good place to board and lodge, and Vest
took his word for it. In the bright morn
ing Vest found that the store beneath him
was an undertaking establishment which
ran private morgue as a sort of flyer to
the main business. 1t was this which con-
ferred on the boarding house upstairs the
odor of eternity that Vest had noticed
Vest didn't like this hotel. Besides the
ccffins and corpses which came and went
beneath him. he found that Blackburn was
the star boarder of the joint Blackburn
got the fat while Vest got the bones. AL
though Injured to hardship, Vest did not
fail to feel panied at this. PriviIy he re-
SoiNSu " ~ oul az tIle ClOSt VI Ills I1Ontfl.
But. as 1t CHANGED, he went much sooner.
Vest had slept over the collins four nights.
and had fought hobgoblins and ghosts in
his dreams. The fifth evening he was in
his room, hating to go to bed, yet fearing
to sit up. friend called; frieno who
had resided here several years.
DO you know your room is perfectly
familiar to me-" said the friend to Vest.
I've been here often. \ es, indeed used
to call on young Wells. You knew young
Wells? This was his room. Sad too.
about Wells; he committed suicide.
recollect it as though it were yesterday.
1 came uo to call just as I did tonight;
pushed the door open, and there was poor
Wells hanging to the chandelier. His face
was as black as your hat. 1 never was so
shocked. We cut him down, but Wells
was cold and stiff as poker. We laid him
out on the floor, with his head resting right
on that figure of the carpet
But that was enough. Vest forfeited to
the landlady and hunted another boarding
house that night. Blackburn said he
thought Vest very childish, but Vest said
he couldn't help it; the place gave him the
fantods.