Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1896-05-29
The SIREN AND THE SUCKER
TOM P. MORGAN.

kali Ike replied, sententiousIy, "Unh-
uhp which, by Interpretation, meant an
emphatic and irrevocable negative.
"Nluch obliged" Mr.. Eastman, an all
that" ne continued. "but if it is jest the
same to you I'd ike to be excused"
"Oh, certainly" replied the giver Of
the invitation, courteously. III you
have another engagement, Of course we
cannot expect you. but my sister is very
anxious to meet you"
That's all right" answered Ike, con-
descendingly.Ss@I wish sher mighty we'll,
an I'd Ike to oblige you first rate, but
under the circumstances I reckon you'll
have to count me out. I'll break
buckin' broncho for you with pleasure,
or lasso a crazy steer, an let him jerk
me around for your amusement, or risk
life an limb in cuttin' up almost any
caper you think you'd enjoy witnessin',
but Pm sorter forced to say that draw
the line at mashin' pre- " widGers."
The gentleman from the effete east
regarded the alkaline man with stare
in which establishment, doubt and hor-
ror were deity blended. His object in
endeavoring to decoy Isaac into the
Iady's presence was to exhibit for her
delectation what he considered the most
specimen of untrammeled
westernisn he had encountered during
his soiourn in Hawville, and now when
his prey so ingenuously declined to
take advantage of the privilege, Mr..
Eastman was by no means certain
whether he had met the most stupen-
dous egotist or most arrant barbarian Of
his experience.
"I-er-er-beg your pardon" he SIAM
mered doubtfully. "But-ah" you
see"
aOh, not a tall Not tall No harm
DONE" answered Ike, cheerily. 81 hain't
amin to turn loose the impression that
I am a hermit or anything hathaway
I eniov scuttlin' around in feminine So
cietv as well as the next man, but when
I meet up with a young and pretty
widow I pass by on the other side a
great plenty, similar to the priest an
Levite of old. am one of the burnt
children that still breads the fire; that's
all"
Excuse me, but-er-er
Jaw. that's all right OF course you
couldn't be expected to know, but that's
lest whur I stand. Bein' man of the
world an givin' to circuIatin' somewhat
widely, nacheral enough the usual run
of trials an tribulatious has fell to my
lot. I've been mixed up in various
kinds of fights, shot in several places
between Deadwood an the Rio Grande,
tar an featbered few times, narrowly
escaped bein' lynched on various occa-
sions. swindled an stabbed by personal
friends. knocked down, run over an
dragged quite numerously, but rise to
saw that nuthin' ever made half so deep
an lastin' an impression on my feelin's
as the way a charmin Young wilder
lady once amused herself with me
Tell YOU how it was"
And Mr.. Eastman. being so full OF
conflicting emotions that he was unable
on the spur of the moment to think Of
q valid reason why Ike should not un-
bosom himself, listened with an express
sion on his countenance which indicated
a state of feeling ike unto that which
prompted the legendary parrotto scream
as the smoke of the explosion began to
clear away: "Great jumping gee-whilli-
kinsi Wonder what he'll do next;"
First an foremost" proceeded the
anti.acidulous citizen, cher name was
Peach-Mrs. Daisy Peach-which looks
as if it ort to have been a mighty diff
cult name to live 10 to. But she shore
done it to the last letter, an also sue
cessfully attended to her other business
Of bein' milliner. Picture in your
mind a young woman who is as pretty
as a new circus band wagon, an is also
a wilder, a milliner, a regular GAVIN OF
5 ,eetness generally an as slick as
peri any way you look at her, an you've
cot a ive-fold combination before which
no susceptible young dub stands any
more show than a SNOWFALL in the other
place. An in them days am shorely
As susceptible a young dub as was ever
born in captivity.
aShe hain't much more than lit we're
an smoothed out her ?lumage becom-
nIy till she has about every marriage
,ble Teller in Hawville an the surround