davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
The Chinatown Cat That Cleans Windows

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The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

and wheelwomen were in view, giving
their silent steeds rest. Into view came
most gorgeously attired wheelman. His
bike shone resplendent with nickel trim
mings and so on, and upon his bar were
female favors, fluttering collection of
red, white and blue ribbons. The rider
was middle-aged aud vain, and the expe-
rienced eyes of the observers at once de-
tected his inexperience. He wheeled over
to the side of the concourse commonly
freeuented by wheeiwomen. They saw
fun ahead. Pretty soon the wheelmen be-
gan to guy the new conner. You're Off
they shouted.
'Why don't you scorch?'
where did you get themf'
The novice blushed. then got ratified and
fell off-a case of clear blue funk. While
he gathered himself up the welkin rang
with cheers and laughter. No poor rider
has any business to haunt the concourse If
he wishes to escape ridicule.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

on their way to the ferries at that hour
Even the most careless observer noticed
that each of the pigs bore lateral stripe
eighteen inches to two feet long. Had
they been branded? There was no reason
for that. Still less could it be fancied that
the porkers had been striped for orna-
mental purposes. The explanation was
speedily furnished. A stout fellow armed
with blacksnake whip emerged from a
saloon and proceeded to accelerate the
speed of the drove by slashing right and
left with the blacksnake whip. Every
time the whip descended shrek arose
from an innocent pig and long stripe
marked the blow. Passers looked on
threateningly and remarked that the
driver would look well in stripes.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

wish to make real match, the condition
should be inserted that the contest shall
come off on the ocean, and shall continue
two or three weeks, and shall not begin
until the contestants have been some days
off shore.
'lt is not uncommon for cabin passen-
ger to eat seven square meals per diem.
At O'CLOCK coffee and mushes are pro-
vided. Then in turn there are prepared
breakfast, tiffin or lunch, dinner and tea.
In addition to these soupis served between
meals If it is wanted, and az this is accom-
panied by bread and crackers each turn at
the soup furnishes another chance of a
reasonably square meal. Oh, yes, there is
a record of eight ana even nine meals per
day on shipboard, and that is the real rea-
son why travellers come from a sea voyage
looking sleek and fat. A bill of fare taking
in all one passenger eats would be as long
as a moral law"
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

were clim bing toward the hills upon which
view of large, varied and interesting
panorama is disclosed. the elevating effect
of which may be to refine equally with the
scholastic exercises conducted in the
States institution of learning. The calm
and fragrant air was suddenly assailed by
one piercing scream, which was closely
followed up'by two others, equally pierc-
ing. No wonder, for crossing the path,
through the high grass, in horrid con-
volutions and loops, sped serpent of
indeterminate length, with great velocity
and uttering a kissing sound. AT least
fifteen feet were in view, and the head and
tail of the dreadful object were concealed.
The twilight added to the effect.
ALI at once, however, stout male voice
was raised in protest. Whoa" it said,
whoa there, Plutop
The girls were angry at each other. The
serpent was only haii-concealed tether-
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
Gorgeously Draped-
Chinese Students

A part of the local passing show is the
spectacular departure of silken garmented
Chinese from the City's portals in large
parties. The passengers on the local fer
res see them futter by, gaylv lined and
glistening as summer butterflies, the brisk
west wind distending their purple, pink,
sky-blue, maroon and other hued draperies,
and then they are gone. They may be
coolies; they may be merchants or n1er-
chants sons. Whatever class claims them,
they put on their best attire in coming
before the public on gala occasions as de-
votedly as the country New England
matron dons her SUNDAY clothes" when
she expects company for tea. Of all the
Mongolian coteres known to have crossed
the bar lately en- route for the
East, the gayest went away only few
days since. There were thirty-two chill
dren, the youngest 10, and the oldest IA to
10 years old. They were reputed to be the
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

sons of. merchants, who came to tha
United States to be educated, and their
destination was New York, where they
will be placed in charge of Presby
mission. The smallest boys were in front
of the procession, which marched on
board of the Piedmont two by two, and
they were so graduated that they assembled
like fight of stairs to the two seniors
who brought up the rear, aglow with
enough Chinese finery to make Fourth
of July .pyrotechnic show seem pale by
comparison. There was nothing in their
faces to attract especial attention. Their
features were no more refined than
are those of the lads who are
customariIy seen playing about China
town in this City and their eyes had not
the wide-awake expression of the boys
who have come in contact from childhood
with Americans. Their faces were grave
and composed, without smile, and the
owners seemed to be impressed with the
importance of dignity. Tourists and
globe-trotters looked at them and said
"How cute" They sat still on the boat
in their figured silks of many colors until
Oakland mole was reached. Then they
were marched gravely ashore IN the same
order, the little fellows ahead, and de-
parted eastward in care of white man
on q special car.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
His =" Boomers
The Pet of anthony Street and
the Fantastic Garb He Wears
Six Days Waek

A short street, one block long, runs be-
tween Mission and Jessie streets. This is
known as. Anthony street. 1t is not the
abode of the well-to-do. On one side of
the street is a charitable institution, which
holds forth refuge to the poor and needy.
On the opposite side, lodgings from 10 to
15 cents per night are advertised. True
it is that few willow trees cast upon the
narrow sidewalk their grateful shade
and bright colored geranlums try to
mimic the glow of real gardens as they
strike their roots into boxed soil and fur
nish evidence that poverty has not crushed
the love of the beautiful out of their
owner Among the human beings who
reside on Anthony street is "Bloomers /"
The supposition might be natural that
"Bloomers" is a girl He is, in truth, q
muIatto boy, gifted with white teeth, an
open countenance, love of fun and plav
equal to a kitten and an appetite which
does not appreciate its own capacity. The
poor children of the neigh borhood, quick
to detect peculiarities and apt in applying
epithet, found the name of 'sBloomers. -
which came about naturally.
The mother OF the family is q widow.
She has several children and "Bloomers',
is one of the smallest. There is no money
with which to buy clothes, and very little
to be devoted to the purchase OF food, for
that matter. The clothing which Bloom
ers'' has worn recently has been donated
or handed down by an older. member of
the family. Some of the donated clothing
seems to have been once part of the ward
robe of the president of some ''fat mems
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
On Market Street
The self-oonscious Dignity of
Caucasian Finery on Mon
golian Pates

At different times yesterday afternoon
there passed along Market street a China
man wearing a shiny plug hat and
Chinese woman wearing white chip
or straw hat. which was ornamented
gaudily with tiaring red ribbon.
Both were self-conscious to a degree.
The man carried his tile with the
jaunty air of a Chinese nabob intent
upon cutting very wide swath and
coming as near as possible to getting
into the local "four hundred" The
woman with the chip hat seemed op-
pressed with the Caucasian finery which
sat upon her shiny black coiffure, but she
was equally determined to be fin de steele
and to keep up with the seasonable style,
and so she shuff1ed up the sheet with the
airs of a martyr and a fashion guide
jointly carried. The globe-trotter with his
helmet, the Eastern tourist with his mis-
fit and altogether absurd sombIero, the
local sport with his striped and vizored
cloth cap, in view of this odd Mongolian
freakage. were intellectual. The crowd
looked at them coldly and superciliously,
If at all for there were greater and more
original attractions in view, and second
class freaks had no show at all. Nothing
short of q cooked hat with snow white
plume would have been observed then.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
The Seriousness
Of Three Years

One of those rosy, cherubic babes, such
as Raphael has immortalized, was discuss
ing with her mother, in the infantile wis
dom and seriousness OF three and half
years, the eminence of the Deity.
Where is God?" asked the prattler.
Everywhere" responded the fond
mother.
"And did he make every onef'
"Oh, yes"
'sDid he make your"
"Certainly."
"And papar
"Why. yes, OF course"
"And all babies7"
"Yes. all babies"
"Mamma, dear"
''Yes, my child?"
did God make bottle babiese'
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

Jul and expressive arching of pretty eye
brows, some scrutinizing or melting
glances, played their useful parts in each
separate instance. and pert little twinkle
in both eyes betokened consciousness of a
winning and self-congratulation at native
shrewdness.
To verify the assertion that more choco-
late creams could be secured on this plan
than by the ordinary way of putting down
two-bit piece and asking for two-bits'
worth at one place, the girl purchased
lot with quarter, and then adjourning
to another store, where confectionery is
not sold, a comparative test was made
with the use of balances. The tally was
in favor of the 5-cent plan decidedly.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
the things Idle Nan Found the Odd Corners Of San

club" The trousers are capacious in girth
and opulent in leg capacity. The length
of leg only is changed for the mulatto boy.
Where the scissors leave only as many
inches of trousers leg as there are leg of
small boy, the little fellow, fairly envei-
oped. seems to be shaped like hitching-
post frorc the ankles up-the same size all
the way. That is why the boys, looking
at him, have called him "Bloomers."
That is all right among his cronies, but
the-outside-of-the-neighborhood boy who
says .'Bloomers" must flee from Anthony
street or prepare to ''scrap" in self-defense.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

There were twelve more chocolates Sc
cured that way than in the more common
form of procedure.
u am in no hurry" said the girl, further
explaining herself. az see by going to
hve places more than could see in one.
l make more trade acquaintance that way
and L have more chocolate creams to
divide with my little brothers and sisters.
Besides that am a student of economy, a
believer in the coming woman, and am
already figuring out the best project to
earn my own living, which expect to do
SOON"
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
Il Case of Funk
This Is Liable to Occur to Every
Man Who Rides Poorly in
Rich Habiliments

BicycIists make it point to consider
the music concourse at Golden Gate Park
their rendezvous after spin out to the
cliff and, even when there is no music
there, the "bikers" may be seen reclining
by the dozens on the grassy slopes. All
the scorchers congregate with that bond
of sympathy which makes all wheelmen
and wheel women only "a little less than
kim" Clubs assemble there for runs.
When there is concerted meeting of this
sort the novice who ventures into the con-
course wobbling and unsteady on his
wheel at once becomes the butt of all the
experts. Fully one hundred wheelmen
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

cross the bay from San Francisco and
make day of it at Shell Mound Park, be-
tween Oakland and Berkeley. Generally
a programme of exercises and athletic
sports is prepared in advance to furnish
entertainment and, incidentally. to furnish
a drawing card to provide for the necessary
expenses. Athletic sports are favored,
especially by the young, and not infre-
ouently by the humorously inclined of
ripper age, who take part in fat mems
races, etc. The boys come in for their
share of the fun. So it was that
on the occasion of the recent picnic
of the butchers there were two races for
boys. one being for boys under 10 years OF
age and the other for boys under 15 The
first race, for under 10-year-olds, was
easily won by an unknown, a very little
fellow, who ran away from his competitors
like deer. When the race for the older
boys came on the winner of the other
race started again. By his side numbered
a tall boy. head and shoulders above him,
his agile legs spreading far apart like the
pointers of callipers and covering the
ground rapidly if heavily. The smaller
lad held his own very well and came in
close second. The larger boy was dis
qualified for some reason and the little
fellow therefore won again, taxing an
other prize, pair of tan-colored shoes.
Subsequently the same lad mas won boxes
of candy, neckties and enough articles and
bric-a-brac to make him comparatively
wealthy. Still, he has worn his honors
meekly, having open an eye for the main
chance, and his discretion has permitted
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
Photographing and
Jeeth-PuIling

As odd business partnership as ever
imagined or described by Charles Dickens
exists on Sacramento street, above Du-
pont. The parties to this business con-
nection are Chinese photographer and a
Japanese dentist. They jointly occupy
may be described as tooth carpentry,
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

him to avoid being disqualified. In re-
atty the lad is between IA and Is years
old. Being undersized he looks not to be
over 10 years old at the outside. His
record has been looked up by San Fran
cisco youths who have come into COM
petition with MIN, and they discover that
the unknown has won races in school
competitions. His thin and wiry legs are
hard as steel and as nimble as a gnat's.
His body is light and witty and his
breathing apparatus would fit racehorse.
His name is Henry Low, and he lives in
Oakland.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

waiting-room, deveIopiDg-room and gall
lery. The dentist helps the photographer
by complimenting them on their improved
appearances since their teeth have been
fixed and the artist tells his subjects
that they would look better with
store teeth. In addition to this the pho
tographer mallets in the filing to lncisors
and bicuspids. and the dentist does an
occasional turn at photography. Their
patrons are Japanese and Chinese. The
two craftsmen appear 10 be growing rich,
as they ought to be, by reason of en-
bracing the ambidexterity of Yankee,
with the craft Of Machiavelli.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
A Bill Of Fare
Nine Miles Long

Two club men were discussing the COM
paratlye capacity of their friends for eating.
They were joined by third, who insisted
that there is no comparison between the
appetite of the same individual on shore
and at sea. Therefore" said he, "if you
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
He Would Look
Well in Stripes

A drove of young pigs, numbering sew
eral hundred, squealing and grunting
made their way slowly across the foot of
Market street yesterday, en- route for
Butchertown. Many commuters and over
land passengers were crossing East street
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26

Bloundell-Burdick seems to be changed
man since he got his bicycle.
Benson-Yes; his nose points around the cor
ner instead of straight ahead, as it used TO,
and they say he has one glass eye.-Cleveland
Leader.
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
Only a Horsefy
Why Police Judge Campbell Began
His Vacation With a Study
of the Dictionary

Police Judge Campbell announced from
the bench yesterday that he was desirous
of having all the business of his court
cleared up prior to the date of beginning
his vacation. He had hardly descended
from the judicial bench when solemn
visaged friend approached him and
grasped his hand.
''Glad to hear that you are going away
for relaxation, Judge, "said the friend,
'but I want to warn you against the
sarcophags."
''Sarcophaga? What the deuce is that2"
What; never heard of the sarcophaga9
Sarcophagus, which was originally stone
coffin, supplied the name for the sarco-
phaga-only it has been Latinized.'
1.-THE dickens" said the jurist.
Eyes, indeed. Rightly named, too. You
know that this climate encourages noxIous
life with the same fecundity that it gives
rise to f1eas. On every scented breeze are
bacteria, pupa and Larvae in sickening pro-
fusion. That is, they are sickening to
any man not as robust as you are. By the
way, how are you feellng?"
The jurist said that he felt fairly.
Perhaps you are all right then," broke
in the friend cheerily. "But to return to
the sarcophagus; no, sarcophaga 1 should
have said. Not sarcophagus, eh, Judge? ?
Awkward mistake, that"
"No; not the sareophagus, of course"
"Of course not. But the body of this
foe of man and beast, black and funereaI
as his coat, is too suggestive for comfort.
A tracing would show the main lines oi
the body to be shaped like coffin lid. All,
yes; here you are; not a good drawing,
but still it shows a coffin with wings on it.
The wings belong to the sarcophaga, and
not to the sarcophagus."
There was something eerie in Judge
Campbell's eyes as he edged slowly away,
refusing to accept an invitation to take a
drink or a cigar, or to receive further
warmups. When his friend had gone
away the jurist sought out an eleme ntary
work on entomology.
"Well, I'll be blessed" he said; "that is
a good joke, after all. The fellow was
talking all the time about a horsehy"
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
The Unknown
Winner Of Races

Throughout the season picnic parties
The San Francisco call., 1896-07-26
How She Beats
The Candy Stores

A San Francisco girl was seen to enter
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-11
VARIETIES.

-She-I would not marry you if /
lived to be 100 years old.
He-If you were 100 years old, do
you think I'd ask you?
Papa, what is a demagogue?"
He is man of some influence who
doesn't belong to your political
party?n
The young man who wishes to lay
the world at the feet of the girl he
adores, three months after he marries
her isn't willing even to lay the car
pet.
Unless there be some sympathy
with suffering, there will be nothing
done for its relief, and the ties of hu-
man brotherhood will be quickly sun
dered.
Hear you settled that ten thous-
and dollar damage suit. Did you get
as much as you expected" Il should
say | did. They paid me a hundred
dollars and expenses"
Pride emanates from weak mind.
You never see man of strong intellect
proud and naughty. Just look about
you. Who are the most given to this
folly? Not the intelligent and talent
ed, but the weabminded and the silly.
MAY I-may l kiss those ruby
lips?" Sir. Do not think of such a
think for momentr' well, II
could hardly help asking. | beg
your Don't you think, Mr..
Aoppy, that one moment is up by
this time?"
AT Roslyn, l.. l., on Thanksgiving
day, Mrs. Harriet Townsend celebrat-
ed the Tooth anniversary of her birth.
Her tales of the early history of the
country were especially interesting,
but she confessed that she never seen
George Washington.
Husband with desire to say
something pleasaut)-Do you know
kitten, could recognize you from
your style anywhere? kitten-I
should think you could, seeing that
you have let me wear this same old
style for two years.
-Friend-Aren't you really afraid
of that handsome rival of yours?
Smartclap-Not a bit. He is very
rich" Yes "a great favorite
with the ladies' know it, "Yet
you have no fear?'' mo. He guess
ed at her age once, and got her only
two years younger than she is"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-11
HE HAD SENSE.

The Louisville Courier-Journal
tells a story of woman who was
learning how to ride a wheel One
morning, when she was out on her
bicycle, making good time in rather
uncertain curves, she saw man com
ing toward her in the middle of the
road. Still speeding along, she hailed
him:
"Oh, mister, mister, won't you please
get out of my way?"
The kind hearted gentleman jump
ed nimbly off on the grass at the side
of the road, and as she sped by he ex-
claimed:
Yes, indeed, will, good lady. l
wouldn't stay in your way for SO
BILL"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-11
2octical.
Parted.

Once more my hand will clasp your hand:
Your loved voice / shall hear once more;
But we shall never see the land,
1hc pleasant land we knew Of yore:
Never, on any summer day,
hear she low music of its streams,
Or wander down the ,Cuiy way
That lvudtIh 10 the litnn OF -urcaInS.
Still. borne upon the scented air,
1htsuugs OF bros rise clear and sweet,
As when / @athert q roses there,
Aud h"apcd their EiIrIcS at Your feet;
And sim the golden pathway lies
AT eve across TIE western sea,
Ana lovers dream beneath those skies,
Which shine no more for you ana me.
No more, ali. never and yet
They seem so near. thus. summer days,
Whcn hope WAS like IL jewel set
To shine adOwn Time ; misty ways.
| sometimes dream that mornings light
Will bring them back to us once more,
And that lis but one long dark night
Since we two parted 10y the shore.
We parted with soft words and low,
And farewell till tomorrow said;
From sea aud sky and sunset glow
\ golden halo round you shed;
Then as you went | heard you sing,
Haste thee, sweet morrow ~ Parting thus
How could we dream that life would bring
Not any morrow there for us:
We parted and that last farewell
Its shadow on our life past cast;
And tines relentless barriers fell
Between us and our happy past
And now we meet when cares and tears
Have dulled the parting and the pain,
But never can the weary years
Bring back our golden dreams again.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-11
Il STORY OF CRISP.

Here is a little story of the late
Charles Frederick Crisp: In one of
the counties of his district there was
little weekly newspaper to which he
faithfully subscribed. When he
would come home from Washington,
he always sought the editor and de-
manded to know if his subscription
had not expired. On one occasion,
meeting with the editor, he handed
him Il s. bill, saying:
Il have missed three issues of my
paper, and | am sure l must be in ar
rears. Take that and call it square,
But" said the editor, 1.-THE paper
is only 81 a year, and your subscrip-
ton won't be out until January"
That's all right" replied Crisp,
but you keep the money. And then
in a whisper, Il never saw an editor
yet that didn't need it,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-11
THE TEMPT4TION.

"Whatever induced you to marry
me, anyway, if am so distasteful to
your" he asked fiercely.
Il think it was the advertisements, "
she said.
The WHAT"
The advertisements. The house
hold bargains, you know. l thought
it would be so lovely TO go to the de
partment stores and buy ice picks for
8 cents, real cent clippers for only
l cent, and all that sort of thing. or
course l had no use for that sort of
stuff as long as l remained single.''
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-11
VINO KNO " ).

just little cloId W it'll hue
Casting shadows DER the blue
Where they stood;
at will rain" he whispered, dear,
Let us find Il shelter here
in the wood
Then the silver drops came down.
Smote the Swaying, emerald crown
OF the tree;
But the snugly sheltered pair
Watched the heavy downpOur there
Lovingly,
And he held her tiny hand.
Why! True lovers understand,
This / know:
When the sun pecped from the sky,
Pretty maiden seemed 50 shy
LOath TO go
Here the twain were lingering,
After birds began to sing,
For an hour.
And she whispered tendcrly:
"WhO knows, iarlingE There may be
Another shower