The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-07-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Cuu COOhs-Auuilo
Oh, pretty fad, so blithe and grand,
Your rule is for day;
The world has Tilted TrlbY nnd
Epoused the Roentgen ray.
Washington Star.
The cathode ray may do somo good
by making the man who can see right
through you less inclined to boast of
his ability. Puck.
Cool, but Polite: Young Lady
"Shall you never get married, then.
Herr ASSESSOR" Gent-"Oh, yes
after you. ."-Humoristische Blatter.
A dull and sickening thud was
heard. It wakened everybody in tho
house. The newsboy had tossed q
Sunday paper on the porch. Prince
ton Tiger.
"Have you seen that new-woman
barber just around the corner?" "Do
you mean to tell me that the new wo-
man has begun to shaveP P"-Indianap-
oils Journal.
"Alas, father have lost my heart"
walled the heroine. Tho villain
howled: "Careless grill" he OK
claimed between his clenchod teeth. -
Philadelphia Record.
Little "Why does the lead
er of the orchestra wave his stick about
it in that manner, mommer?" His
Mamma-"To keep the flies off the
music, ] suppose. ."-BnGsAis Times.
AS on his daily trip he went, ~
The sun exclaimed: ~ vow
There's no denying that am
The champion schorcher now"
Washington Star.
Twynn-"T should think that n
suffering man would naturally be au
excellent grammarian. Triplett-1
don't SEQ what that has to do with it. "
Twynn-"Well, he would be familiar
with the parts of speech. Judge.
swiss Peasant-'T was highly
pleased with the conduct of my city
boarders last year. The Baron sawed
ten cords of wood for me, the Baro-
ness milked the COW. aud their chill
dren took care of the geese. "-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
Energy" said the professor. 'fs
never wasted 81 guess" said young
Fresh, "that the old man never famed
the dir 80 hard that he almost pulled
his spino in two when two men were
out and the bases were full. India
napolis Journal.
Mr.. Spriggins (gontly)-"My dear,
n Boston man was shot at by n burg
lar, and his life was saved by button
which the bullet struck" Mrs. Sprig-
gins-"Well, what of it?" Mr.. Sprig-
gins (meekly)-"Nothlng, only the
button must have been on. boston
Traveller.
81 thought her father was so en-.
ragged over the elopemont that he
would never forgive them, and now no
has given them brand new bicycle
apiece" "Of different makes. mind
you. They will be fighting like cats
and dogs before week. "-Indianapo-
lis journal.
al thought her father was SO en-.
ragged over tho elopemont that he
would never forgive them, and now he
has given them n brand new bicycle
apiece" "Of different makes, mind
you. They will be fighting like cats
and dogs before week. "-lndianap-
oils Journal.
In tue Far Beyond: Lord Saporias
cit is fact, as you say, that wo
Englishmen have habit Of standing
with our backs to tho fire. l wonder
why it is2' Miss Starzen Strypes-
'I suppose it is because You know
you will have to face it some day. -
Brooklyn Life.
Greatly, Jane, DEAR" said Mr.. Bob
better, to his wife, as they sat down in
the theatre, "your hat is entirely too
high. Take it Off and put it in your
lap" "Well, l like that" snapped
Mrs. Bobbetter. "If put that hat in
my lap, how am going TO see over
it?"-Harper's Baxar.
Remember, my son." said tho
prudent father, "that politLess doesn't
cost anything" eyes" was the re-
ply, 'I've heard that" "You don't
doubt it, do your" swell, it certain
ly costs me about $3.50 week to got
any politeness out of the walters at
our hotel. "-Tit.Bits.
1t was a pretty little love scono, tho
picture they were looking at, and tho
title was, "The Old, Old Story"
"What is the old, Old StoryP" she
asked, artlessly. "Oh, reckon it is
something about getting robbed by
the umpire, or something of the sort. "
he answered. red.-IndianApolis journal.
"If you're a good boy"-the parent
began. But the young man interrupt
ed: "Excuse me, but know what
you are going to say. / have II new
proposition to offer. If you are real
kind to me, I'll let you take me TO tho
circus instead of Uncle Richard or
Aunt Jane, or the gentleman who lives
next door. w Washington Star.