The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1896-09-17

-I1llt.
First Clerk-She's a married lady.
Second Clerk-How do you know? She
ordered two hummelshine,.
Mrs. Quiverful (sternly)-What was
going on in the parlor last night? Ethel
lblushing)-Only my engagement ring,
mamma.-Life.
Cynthia docking at photograpM-Hi.
ram. just turn your head a little. Hi
ram-lou have turned it already, Gym
thia.-New York World.
He-lt's reported around that we are
engaged. She-Well, you know it's a
mistake. He-Yes: | called to see if |
couldn't rectify it.-Puck.
Arthur-.Are you sure she loves you?
Jack-Ies. When | told her | had no
money to marry on she asked me if |
couldn't borrow some.-Puck.
sometimes" said Uncle Eben. ser
man puts on or long face an says he's
discouraged when he's simply too lazy
ter try again.'-Washington Star.
She-Everybody says you married
me only Cor my money. He-But |
didn't. dear. | know you look it, dear,
but | didn't.-lndianapolis Journal.
Her F~ather-IIas my daughter given
you any encouragement, sir? Sutton
Well. she said you were always a very
generous Observation-Disclosures Ameri-
can.
Mame-l hope you didn't let that
Mabel-Why? Is there anything the
matter with his arm?-WashingtOn
Star.
Mrs. Elmore-I wonder how many
stops that new organ of De Smyth's
has got? ~Elmore-Only three, | should
judge. One for each meal.-BuffalO
Times.
Il see they are applying ball bearings
20 a great many things now" Yes;
they have II ball bearing sign down
where | keep my watch."-Washington
Times.
Stern Parent-You say he is a genius.
Geniuses seldom amount to much.
Daughter-But, pa, he promises that he
will not work at it arGer we are mar
ried.-BostOn Transcript.
Hoax-Poor Bjones has to run all the
errands and cook his OWE meals. JoaX
What's the trouble? HoaX-He was
foolish enough to buy his wife a hi.
cyclp-PhiladelDhia Record.
When in the brassy skies above
No hope nor help | see.
/ gladly seek the girl | love
She's always COO 10 me.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Spirit cat Lily Dale seance)-Don't
you know me? I'm the spirit of your
mOther-in-law. Investigator-YOu can't
fool me. My mother-in-law always
brought her trunk with her.-Butfal0
Times.
II suppose you know all about the
financial question:" said the intimate
friend. 81 don't say that know all
about it," replied the candidate, but
| know enough not to talk about it,
Washington Star.
Peasant spoke to our herb doctor
and he advised me that l should
Doctor ,interrupting)-Oh, he gave you
some idiotic advice, l don't doubt.
Peasant-He advised me to see you.-
Humoristische Blaetter.
Has your wife learned to ride a
Wheel" "Nup; but she has been TAX
ing cooking lessons. and about every
morning she goes into the kitchen and
has IA scorching competition with the
cook."-Indianapolis Journal.
Isn't it too bad about Charlie
NcWed? | understand that since his
marriage he and his Wife have been
living from hand TO mouth" 'Oh,
guess they're all right. It's her faith
cr's hand, You know."--New York
Dress.
Ncll-Miss Rjones uses French
phrases in the most peculiar manner.
Relle-Does she? Nell-Yes, indeed.
Why, at breakfast yesterday asked
her how she liked her eggs, and she
said they were very chick. Philadel-
phia Record.
Have you got it OF you YETI asked
little Petey of his sisters bestest best.
'W-w-what?' inquired the three
night a week beau. why, a move.
Sister said the other night she wished
you'd hurry up and get a move on YOU
Philadelphia North American.
Il say, captain" said a young Eng
lishman on board an American clipper,
that dag Of yours has not iloated in
every breeze and over every sea for a
thousand years. has it, NO. it amt
replied the captain. "but il has licked