The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-22
TUE MODERN MUNCuAUSEN.
How lie Paid for tho Lunch with Most
PrepOstcrOus Tale.


CTOHl the washington fOSt.
A queer character drifted into an all
night resort down town recently. He
seemed to be not Overburdened with
cash, and after q few minutes of spar
ring for an opening he landed rib
roast and hot coffee in a mug, for
which the proprietor got no return.
Judging from the clothes he wore, the
stranger was an old soldier, and as a
further evidence of his winning ways,
he told between mouthfuls how he had
managed to get a free ride over from
Baltimore by playing hard on the con-
ductor's sympathies.
There was something almost child
like in the old fellows frank and open
countenance, and a glance from his
honest blue eyes over a pair of old
spectacles, which sat low on his ruddy
nose lent color to some of his extraor-
dinary statements. One after an
other of the assembled group attempt
ed to guy the old chap in a good-nat-
ured sort of a way, but he proved to
be a past grand master of repartee,
and had them all silenced at the end of
ten minutes. Thus inspired with con-
fidence, he proceeded to relate some of
the more stirring incidents connected
with his life on the frontier
Il was captured by the Indians once"
he began, away back In the early fif-
ties, and never expected to see home
and little ones again. They forced me
into an empty vinegar cask, and
where did they get the cask?' put
in one of the listeners.
Gentlemen, do you wish me to go
into petty details, or shall give you
the main features Of the story in
brief?"
The majority held that the cask was
of minor Importance, so the narrative
went on.
"As said, they put me in the vinegar
cask and nailed on the cover The
nails were some they had, II you want
to know weber they came from. Well.
they left me out in the open air all
wight, trying to make up my mind
whether they intended to pickle me for
next season. or what. Fortunately the
cask had bung hole, which let in the
air. Along towards morning a lot of
coyotes got scent of me, and came
snarling and shifting around that cask
till they finally knocked 1t over on its
side. Pretty soon one Of them got his
tail through the bung hole in some way,
and quick as a flash I grabbed it with
both hands, just to have some fun with
the beast.
"He set up a terrible howl and start
ed OF at a terrific pace, hauling the
! barrel after him. We bounded along
| over the stones and branches of trees
| urtil l was tired out and let go Of .he
tail. 1t was on the side of hill.
| though. and the barrel kept right on
faster than ever, just like big rock
loosened at the top Of a mountain. All
of sudden 1t landed smash up against
a big rock and broke into n hundred
| pieces. Fortunately ] escaped with
| only few bruises, and there I was
right on the bank of the river I
| plunged in at once, got safely across,
and rejoined my comrades on the other
side in time for breakfast In the camp "
The old fellow looked around at his
audience over the top of his glasses at
the end of his story. but the charm
was gone. The corroborative light In
the blue eyes was not strong enough,
and he was forthwith dubbed the
| Modern MunchauSen