Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-08-20

Ald CA \ Ia lllIu6 ClSC lOI SCtCU
years.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Hedges-sappy is continually falling
Off his wheel. Rose-What a you
expect from a fellow who isn't we'll
balanced.-Philadelphia North Amert.
can.
Summer Is a tough season on us par
ents." why SOP" ''Our daughters
who have been graduated try to make
US talk grammatically."-Chicago Res
ord.
Fame said Uncle Eben. IAN jess
like swingin' in err hammick. Hit am
mighty good fun eff somebody doan' cut
de string an drap ~yer."-Washington
Star.
"Does your family s%ympathize with
you when you have insomnia?" yes.
When l can't sleep I sit up all night
and practice on my accordion."-Chi.
cago Record.
Though you may not take vacation
On your very slender pay,
There is rest and recreation
In the bores that go away.
Chicago Record.
:, Willie-Grandpa, tell me a story.
Grandpa-Once upon a time, before
people thought of marrying for o
ey-- Willie-Oh, l don't mean a fairy
story.-Norristown Herald.
"Enen," said old Borderkeep, "here
dren a little more snuff an get EN- ter
sneezln'. We've got ter make 'em think
it's cool here somehow.'-Judge.
One bitter drop spoils rapture's cup;
When ice sells by the splinter
We cannot can the hot waves up
To use them in the winter.
Chicago Record.
II suppose you're fond of Shaks-
peare,'' said one legitimate actor to an
other. 'Of purse l am" Then why
In the name Of humanity do you insist
on acting his Observation-Disclosures
Star.
Wickwire-Have you noticed that
Nudge has quit cigars and taken up a
pipe? ~Yabsley-Yes; l wonder what is
he cause-has he been playing III
races or getting engaged?-IndianapOlis
Journal.
Just like our hopes,
Which oft vanish in vapor,
Are the candidates promises;
Strong-On paper.
philadelphia North American.
Salvation Army Apostolic you
swear at those horses, my good man,
You'll never 60 to heaven. Teamster
%(humbly)-I knows it, mum; but II |
don't I'll never get to Tonawanda.-
Buffalo Times.
Mechanic-"I have just been married
and would like a raise in my wages"
Employer am sorry, but the COM
pany Is only responsible for accidents
that happen to the men while in the
factory."-Brooklyn Life.
Wiggles-"There's n good thing
about Hicks. He Is always willing to
admit 1t when he Is in the wrong"
Waggles-"I don't think it is a good
thing. 1t doesn't seem to trouble him
a bit."-Somerville Journal.
l summered on the Jersey coast,
And l am puzzled still.
As twixt the skeeters and hotels,
Which has the longest bill.
louisville Truth.
at seems to me. Mr.. Stillson, that
your new house is lacking in a judicious
use Of fretwork." Wei my wife will
fill that deficiency just as soon as h
gets her eye on those measly Closets
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-"I am going to pay you the
highest compliment a man can pay d
woman" She-This Is SO sudden"
He-"I know 1t, but I came away with
out my pocketbook-can you lend me a
dollar until tomorrow? NEW York
World.
"And how is your papa, Eddie?'
Papa is feeling ever so much better
to-day" II suppose it's the change In
the weather. mo, ma'am, faint the
weather. Mamma has decided to start
for the seaside to-mOrrOw."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
NO" said Dismal Dawson, in answer
to his benefactor's question, hard
times ia not the best for our business.
Nor yet good times. The times that
suits me best is about medium-when
the work amt too plenty, nor money
too scarce.",-Indianapolis Journal.
A little 4~-year-old occupied an upper
berth in the sleeping-car. Awakening
once in the middle Of the night h.a
mother asked him If he knew where he
| was. 'sTourse l do" he replied. SIN
in the top drawer."-Youth's Compan,
ion. HIT
n often wonder just what she think
of me-" said the young married man
1T b easy to ind out" said the elderly
married q "Just sit down on bel
hat and she win tell Jon what Ght
thinks o. you In less than 4 mtnQtssr
Indianapolis Journal