davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19
Odd Breaks Of Speech.

The "Runl'S Horn" gives the fol-
lowing amusing object lessons: A
cOroner's jury in Maine reported
that, Deceased came to his death
by excessive drinking, producing
apopleXy in the minds of the jury"
An old French lawyer, writing of
an estate he had just bought, added
There is a chapel upon it in which
my wife and l wish to be buried, if
God spares our lives"
On tombstone in Indiana is the
following inscription "This monu-
ment is inscribed to the memory of
John j en- ms, accidentally shot
as mark of affection by his
brother"
"A Michigan editor received some
verses not long ago with the follow
ing note of explanation "These
lines were written so years ago by
one who has, for a long time, slept
in his grave merely for pastime."
A certain politician, lately con-
demning the government for It's
policy concerning the income tax, is
reported to have said: THEY'LL
keep cutting the wool off the sheep
that lays the golden eggs until they
pump it dry"
An orator at one of the university
unions bore off the palm where he
declared that "the British lion,
whether it is roaming the deserts of
India or climbing the forests of
Canada, will not draw in its horns
nor retire into its SHE'LL"
A reporter, in describing the mur-
der of man named JOrkin, said
I" The murderer was evidently in
quest of money, but luckily, Mr..
Jorkins had deposited all his funds
in the bank the day before, so that
he lost nothing but his life."
A merchant who died suddenly
left in his bureau letter to one of
his correspondents, which had not
been sealed. His clerk, seeing it
necessary to send the letter, wrote at
the bottom: "Since writing the
above have died."
An Oklahoma editor expresses his
thanks for a basket of oranges thus:
" We have received a basket of Or
anges from our friend, Gus Bradley,
for which he will please accept our
compliments, some of which are
nearly six inches in diameter.n
The Morning Post, in 1912, made
the following statement: We con-
gratulate ourselves most on having
torn off Cobbett's mask and revealed
his cloven hoof. 1t was high time
that the hydra head of faction
should be soundly wrapped over the
knuckles."
An English lecturer on chemistry
said: "One drop of this poison
placed on the tongue of a cat is suf-
ficient to kill the strongest man,
and an English Lieutenant said that
the Royal Niger company wished to
kill him to prevent him from going
up the river until the next year."
A Clergyman in an English town
warned his hearers lately mot to
walk in slippery path, lest they be
sucked. maelstrom like, into it's
meshes - This metaphor suggests
that of another clergyman, who
prayed that the world might be as a
nail driven in sure place, sending
its roots downward and its branches
upward"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19
Notice,

7 HAVE returned home to remain
L this fall and winter. Ihaye located
Ill DR.. ). ii. Austin's office, or Main
street. to work at my trade. Work
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction.
Also still continue my oculist business.
Will call on any parties who desire
Glasses, if they will let me know.
have also added to nv line of bust
ness repairing of all kinds Of Sewing
Machines. Also all kinds of material
for them on hand. All work guaran
teed. Bring on your machines.
Very respectfully,
j. A. LOWE,
Oct. 24-tf. Jeweler q Opticlan.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

THE SMALL THINGs.-I don't think
any nation pays more attention to
military affairs than Germany, said
German citizen. Things of SEEM
ing little importance connected with
the army are investigated with the
greatest pains. Many years ago the
matter of boot heels was taken up
What height of heel was best for
infantry? A commission was ap-
pointed. One heel after another
was tried, and and record of how
far the soldiers could march a day
was kept. Years piled on years, the
commission carrying on investiga-
tion with the care and exactitude of
chemical analysis. Constant i'm
prOvements were made, and the dis
tance an army could march in a
day was thereby increased. At
length the suggestion of heel partly
made of rubber was put forth. 1t
was Notwithstanding success =
1t was found that regiment using
such heels could march one-third
farther a day and with less fatigue
than when the investigation was be-
gun. A small thing that to begin
with, but what an important part the
improved heel would play in war.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

so you wish to employ lawyer,
madam ?"
"Yes, SIR"
"What Is the nature of the busi-
ness ?'
- want to get my alimony away
from the attorneys"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

A LADY who has recently returned
from Mediterranean trip saws that.
as the ship was leaving the harbor
of Athens, well-dressed lady pas
senger approached the captain, who
was pacing the deck, and, pointing to
the distant hills covered with snow,
asked, "What is that white stuff on
the hills, captain" "That is snow,
madam" replied the captain
4" Now, is it really ?" remarked the
lady 81 thought SO, but a gentle
man just told me it was Greeca.W
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

DRUMMER lin Poseyville)-Where
is young Jason Hawgee, who re-
joices In the sobriquet of Beau
Brummell" Of the village? He is
usually very much in evidence, but
L haven't seen him to-day.
Jay Green-Poor Jase is laid up
with terrible burnt neck. His cell
luloid collar caught fire at the party
the other night and blamed near
burnt his head off.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19
NUMBER 20.

ACCORDING to the Lewiston .Jo,tr-
nat, 1T was in little town down on
the Maine coast where the folks. old
and young, knew all about the fishing
business, that the minister who was
teaching Sunday Scool class re-
Gently propounded the question:
Why were the disciples taken from
among the every day people, fisher
men and others?" The reply, "Be-
cause they had been a-fishing so long
and made so little, that they were
likely to starve; so the Lord took
pity on them and made them preach
ers," is said to have surprised him.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

POLITICAL economy is ticklish
subject. A man has to be wide
awake to understand all about it.
For instance, the very ideas Of capi-
tai and labor" Look here! that
is simple auough. Supposing 1 Dor.
row twenty dollars from you that
would represent capital" "To be
sure" "Then, after a while you
would be trying to get your money
back. That would be labor.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

"I'M not going to let this paper
be caught in any more libel suits, If
l know " cried the city editor of
the Morning Sensation, running his
eye rapidly over page of copy that
lay on his desk. And he inserted a
word so that the sentence read -
Cain, the alleged murderer of
Abel" etc.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

1T Is stated that the following no
tice was read last Sunday from q sub
urban pulpit: "The pastor will
preach his last sermon this evening,
and the choir has arranged special
praise service for the OCCASION"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

TURKEY ALARMED !" is the CAP
tion OF an article in an exchange.
lnasmuch as Thanksgiving Day is
near at hand, we are not surprised
that Turkey Is alarmed.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

A LITTLE child, whose parents and
relatives had gone to attend a meet
ing and help along some charity or
other, was heard to pray "that God
would raise up society to take care
of philanthropists' families"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

A LANGUID, idle dude of fellow
called on doctor, who asked, among
other things, Do you ever take any
exercise ?" "Not much," said the
man; "aw-ya.as, wind up my
watch, bwush my own hair, clean
my own teeth, and woll my own
cigawettes. I'm not much of q
hand for action, you know. Exer-
else don't agwee with me, fancy"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

"GIVE an example of natural
Inference" the college professor
said. Well, SIR" said the student.
IF you should meet a carriage some
Sunday afternoon with young man
on the front seat, and another young
man and pretty girl on the back
seat, natural inference would be
that they were going after another
pretty pirl.O
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

HIS WIFE--Johnny's teacher
sends word that he is very slow in
arithmetic.
The Iceman-Oh, you can't learn
much arithmetic from books, any
howl Wait till Johnny is old
enough to go into business with me.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

II VERY much dislike to see an
old man smoking cigarettes" said
Miss Dukane to young Mr.. Gaswell.
" Why do you dislike to see an old
man smoking one more than you do
a young man ?" asked Mr.. Gaswell,
as he cOmplacently puffed at a par
ticularly odorous specimen. 81
don't.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

For the gout, toast and water for
bile, exercise for rheumatism, new
flannel and patience; for corns, easy
shoes for the toothache, pluck 1t out;
for debt, industry {; and for love, mat
rimony.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

1T Is the duty of the wife to make
home pleasant and agreeable but
what shall be said Of the woman who
has predilection for ugly-looking
servant girls?
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

THE nearer a man thinks he Is get
ting to perfection, somehow the
greater contempt he has for him.
self,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

II has stood the
test of time; it has
saved thousands of
lives; it has rcstor-
ed millions Of suf-
ferers to health;
It has done what
WAS never done,
never attempted
before; it has made
men stronger and
healthier; it has
made :. women
brighter and hap
pier; :. it stands
alone in all these
qualities. Do you
not think it would
be wise for you to
use it and thus
avoid the dangers
Of the season ? In
sist upon having it.
sR4sss2M
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19
J. II. sTRATTON JOS. II. sTRATTON.
Lewisburg Hotel
SrRATTON & SON,
PROPRIETORS.

1ATELL furnished rooms, attentive
w servants and a table supplied with
the best the markets afford. Livery
attached. Good Rigs, safe Horses and
Vehicles. Special attention paid to
boarding FL Horses. Reasonable rates
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

ONE PHASE OF CITY LIFE
Talking about the unsociability Of
large cities, an instance came within
my own knowledge that is, l think,
without parallel" says a writer in
Cincinnati paper. 81 have
friend living in New York who
roomed five years In the same house
with young man, and in that time
never made his acquaintance or even
learned his name, He went on
hunt one summer to the Adiron-
dacks, and there met the young man
who roomed in the same house with
him. A conversation sprang up be-
tween them, and they learned that
they were of the same name. Have
you any brothers p asked my friend.
l don't know. There were two
of us, and my parents died when I
was quite young. was raised by
an uncle in the West, and lost track
OF my BROTHER We'll, was
raised by an uncle in New York, and
l believe you and l are brOthers.'-
"A little further investigation proved
it to be a fact.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

AT dinner-party, the other night,
handsome young physician had
been particularly bright and enter
tanning. AS the ladies left the table,
cigars were passed and accepted by
all of the gentlemen but the doctor.
The host looked at him in astonish-
ment. What, not smoker" said
he; "why, my dear fellow, YOU
lose half your dinner" Yes, I
know / do" replied the doctor; but
If should smoke, I would lose the
whole of it, -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19
/, n ! 6
!; IS tn z
| T I M E

4 of year E. =.
when men :.
and women -,
become weak
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

A LADY in San Francisco engaged
a Chinese cook. When the Celestial
came, among other things she asked
him his name. My namee," said
the Chinaman, smiling, "is Wang
Hang Ho." "Oh, can't remem-
Der all that" said the lady. 81
will call you John" John smiled
all over, and asked, "What your
nance" "My name is Mrs. Mel
vile Landon." me no memble all
that" said John. Chinaman he
no savey Mrs. Membul London-I
call you Tommy"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19
VOHN A. ESTON,
- ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LEWLSBURG, W. VA.
win practice in the Courts of Green
orier and adjoining Counties.
w A. BRATTON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
MARLINTON, WEST VA.

Prompt and careful attention to all
ou 'innss entrusted TO my hands in the
Courts of Pocahontas and adjoining
counties. Jan. 26-tf
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

down gener-
ally. :. :. The
first parts that
the weather
affects are the
kidneys. The
urea IS not
thrown off,
but is forced
back upon the
lungs, and dis
ease results
caused by
weakness Of
the kidneys.
Large bottle, or new style.
Smalleronc atyou' drrggis'f
&EaHSs.s
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

WISE WoRDs.-The smaller the
soul, the larger dollar loooks.
Some very good sawlogs have big
knots on them.
Friendship, like phosphorous,
gives its light in the dark.
The man who makes his own God
always has little one.
In trying to keep all he gets, a
stingy man steals from himself.
There are too many people who
never pray until they have to.
A lazy man is always going to do
great things-after while.
Some people have money for ev-
erything that comes along except
honest debts.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

WHY He STOPPED HIS PAPER.
:" reckon pll have ter quit sub.
scribin' ter yer paper" said rural
citizen. "Jest see how much Pm
a-owing of, an I'll pay up and quit y,
" Would you mind stating your
reason for this course ?n asked the
trembling editor.
Well," replied the rural citizen,
"as don't believe in strikin' man
In the dark, mout as we'll tell you"
L" Well ?n
"Ive been taking of yer paper
for bout six months, hain't / 2"
"Just about"
" Well, I've been ter yer town
twice in that time and sold a load er
lightood an two cows. swapped
hosses and licked the town marshal,
an If you ever give me airy column
erbout it | never seen it that's all -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-19

ened by 81
the wealth.
er, and run
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06
GOLD OR SILVER
Is the Bone Of Contention in the Demo
cratic National Oonvention-The
Situation Chaotic.

Special dispatch to The Daily Leader.
ST. PAUL, July 6, $3.50 p. m.-Dis-
patches from Chicago say the political
situation is still chaotic. Bland and
Boies lead other candidates, but neither
are believed to have enough to nominate.
There is still talk of the gold men sup
porting Boiss in case they could insure
his nomination. The temporary chair
manship lays between Hill and Daniels
OF Virginia. The gold ren are for the
former and the silver for the latter.
The contest may be settled in commit
tee now in session, but settled either
way Caniels will probably get there.
There is still considerable talk of bolts
by gold men. The statement that Hill
counseled bolt under certain conditions
is denied by Hill.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06

Iowa, arrived in the city Saturday, and
will track horses the rest OF the season.
Arrivals on the evening train were
Booker T. Washington, Col. Balm,
Evangelist A. E. Thompson, and other
Chautauquans.
County commissioners met in regular
session to-day and will be engaged in
equalization, checking up county treas.
urer and auditing bills, etc.
Glenn NJ. Farley and Editor Dowde.l
were east goiug passengers this morn.
ing to attend the national democratic
convention at Chicago this week.
Thos. Stratton, editor of the Miller
Stockman, was a caller at The DAILY
LEADER office this morning. He and
family have been on the Chautauqua
grounds.
j.. P. Neill, of Arlington, Wis.,, arrived
on a visit to his uncle, Henry Neill, hav.
ing ridden through on his wheel, taking
in points in Iowa and Minnesota on the
way.
XThe Lake county republican league at
its meeting Saturday night elected the
following delegates to Aberdeen: A. F.
Glover, Harmon Stahl, f. l.. Soper, A. E
Clough, Henry Neill.
Greensburg, Pa, Tribune, 20: Rev.
Dr.. A. T. Wolff Of Madison, Oak, for
merly OF near belmont, preached two
very eloquent and able sermons in the
First Presbyterian church yesterday, to
large congregations.
Tnos. Burrell came up from Sher-
burn, Mimi, to spend the Fourth with
his family. He is an A. l, contractor
and builder, a fact which Sherburn
people seem to have got onto, and be is
having plenty Of work.
Dell Rapids Times, 8: j. w. Hurley,
OF Madison, who last winter bought Joe
Huntimer's farm, is going to build a fine
large granary on the same. He was IN
town Tuesday with ten teams to take
out a carload Of lumber. The granary
will be 28x4O feet in size with l6 foot
posts.
x The Lake county delegation to the
Aberdeen convention left by the train
for the north this evening. In the
number were D. D. Holdridge, c. j.
Porter, o. s. Merager, Henry Cole, A. F.
Glover, J. M. Preston, T.. T. Crow, B. B.
Bowel. Many delegates from other
counties were also on the train.
Wednesday evening the Druggists coz
ventiou will open with q reception and
social in Odd Fellows hall given by our
local druggists and citizens to the guests
from abroad. 1t is hoped that as many
as possible Of our citizens-ladies and
gentlemen-will attend and assist in Civ
ing our visitorss warm welcome. This
is also open to the public.
Do not forget that the field sports Of
the Druggists association on July 9th
are free and open to the public. No ad
mission fee to the grounds. The grand
opening hen race il also free Of entry to
everybody but after that the sports will
DO confined to druggists. There is q
long list Of elegant prizes to be competed
for and the competition will be keen.
The public should avail itself Of this
opportunity Of witnessing some rare fun
There are % events In all in the contests
The Twelfth Annual convention Of the
South Dakota Christian Missionary
society was held at the city OF r amona
Lake county. July 2-5. There were pres
eot B. L. Smith, Of Cincinnati, the cor
responding secretary Of the General
Christian missionary convention and
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06
The Hunter-salzer Farm

And State Experimental Station at
Mellette is now in fine condition, and
will amply repay a visit from farmers
and others interested In irrigation and in
getting the best results from their farm.
ing. All the best and most improved
methods OF farming are in operation. In
order to give every one an opportunity
to inspect the farm, the Chicago Milwau-
kee 4 st. Paul R'y will make special
rates to Nellette on every Tuesday and
Friday, until October 81, next, from all
stations on it's line in South Dakota.
Call on the ticket agent for particulars
as TO- rates, etc. H. r. WooD, Agent.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06
THE CITY.
@ BREvlrIEs.

OCA ES.
Weather report: Fair and warmeE
in east portion tonight and Tuesday.
kMrs. Northrop, mother Of Auditor
Northrop, went to Minneapolis to visit
friends.
kThe family Of Jake Birran departed for
: Usage, Iowa, to visit friends for two
weexs.
L. P. Shew, Of Carthage, rode in On his
bicycle to C~hautauqus today, giving us
q call in passing.
HMrs. Az. Miller, OF Woodstock, MINI,
mother of Emma Roberts returned home
having visited Chsutauqua the past two
days.
. George Klotzbach, OF Independence,
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06

MONDAY, JULY 6. 1896.
MADISON, SOUTH DAKOTA.

Oea Time allie.
Chicago, Milwaukee q st. Paul Railway, which
sook effect, sunday May 4, 1856:
TRAINS come EAST.
Passenger, No. 4, departs II 10 q. m.
Freight, No. 80, depArte 6:45 q. m.
TRAINS eOIHe WEST,
Way freight, No. 81, departs 4:1O p. m.
TRAINS Prom THk EAST.
Passenger, No. /, arrives $50 y. m,
Freight, No. IS, arrives 2 90 p. m.
TRAINS FROM rHR WEST,
Freight, No. W, arrives 10 40 a. m.
Ali the above trains carry passen gers: but
:reights only when passengers are provided with
tickets.
Passenger trains going east make connection
II Egan for ell points south.
MADISON q BRIsroL LINK.
Passenge going north, departs 400 p. m.
Passenger from north arrives, IL 10 a. m.
II. X. WOOL. Local Agent.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06
Dueklin's Arnica salye.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fe.
YER Sores. letter, Chapped Hands, Chill.
blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,
and positively cures Piles, or no pay 70.
quired. 1t is guaranteed te give perfect
satisfaction or money refunded. Price
ten cents per box. For sale by G. H.
Wood.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06
Electric Bitters.

Electric Bltters is a medicine suited
for any season, bat perhaps more gener.
ally needed, when the languid, exhaust.
ed feeling prevails, when the liver is tor.
pid and sluggish and the need Of a tonic
and Alternative is felt. A prompt use OF
this medicine has often averted long and
perhaps fatal bilious fevers. No medi.
cine will act more surely in counteract.
ing and freeing the system from malarial
poison. Headache, Indigestion, Ccnsti.
patton, Dizziness yield to Electric Bit
ters. SOC. and sl.OO per bottle at .. H.
Woods drug store.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06
Personal,

FREE-64-page medical reference book
to any person afflicted with any special,
chronic OF delicate disease peculiar to
their sex. Address the leading
physicians and surgeons Of the United
States, DR.. Hathaway & Co., Corner
Nebraska and Fourth streets, Sioux
City, Iowa.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06

Good new hay Tor sale. Sand and
rock In small or large quantities deliver
ed on short notice. NJ. A CUMMINGS.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06

Small 10 size, but great III resu Its
DeWitt's Little Early Risers act gently
but thoroughly, curing indigestion, dys-
pepsia, and constipation. Small pill,
safe pill, best pill.
FRANK SMITH.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06

Persons who have q coughing spell
every night, on account of a tickling
sensation In the throat may overcome
IL 81 once by q dose Of One Minute
Cough Cure.
FRANK SMITH.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-06
vel Results.

When w consider that the intestines
are about five times as long az the body,
We q realize the intense suffering
experienced when they become infiamed.
DeWitt's Colo and Cholera Cure sub
dues inflammation at once and completely
removes the difficulty.
FRANK SMITH.