The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

He-"Miss Edgerton reminds me OF
a delicate piece of china" She
"Hand-painted ?"-DetroitF Free Press.
Ella-'Did Fred propose last
nightP" Stella-'I really don't know;
/ fell asleep about l o'clock. Town
Topics.
"Did he look like bicyclist?" ooh,
dear, know; not in the least. Why,
he could stand up straight with no
perceptible effort. Chicago Post.
"What heap of style Jimmie Wat
sons wife throws on" ooh, yes;
Jimmie started bicycle repair shop
last week. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
When the government runs the railroad
And woman the affairs of state,
The trains that went at o'clock
She'll mark down to ASS.
"Half a loaf is better than none"
remarked the clerk, when he learned
he was to get only one weeks vacation
instead of the two he had counted up
ID.
Bacon-"What' that terrible noise
overheadP" Egbert-"That's the man
in the Hat upstairs trying to keep the
baby quiet so his wife can get little
sleep"
Shells it not n love match. Both
are wealthy and their families have
arranged the marriage" He--"I gee;
4 golden wedding fifty years ahead of
time"
She-"Do you know anything worse
than a man taking kiss without ask
ing for it?" He II do" "What,
for instance?" "Asking for it without
taking it. "
Lucy-"Mamma, may 1 go over
there to the bridge?" Mamma-"Why
10 you want to go over there, dear ?"
Lucy-"Oh, just to gargle my feet in
the brook.
She-"Did you hear if it was any
improvement to Jennie Sees health
since she began to ride wheel" He
81 learn that she Is falling off rapid
ly."-Buffalo Times.
1t is not the proper thing to say
that man will make good husband.
It is the wife who makes the good hus-
band. The bad ones only are the self
made article. Boston Transcript.
"We cannot find place to go this
summer" fWhat's the trouble"
eve want a summer resort from which
we won't have to write home that we
sleep under blankets. Chicago Rec
ord.
Hoax-'I stood on one foot all the
way home in crowded car last night.
Joax-"What was the matter with
your other foot?" Hoax-"Another
man was standing on that. "-Philadel-
phia Record.
Patrice-"The other night, when we
were out with our bicycles, Henry said
he would kiss me when we reached a
lonely spot" Patience-"What did
you do-scream?" "No, scorched. !"
-Whim-Whams.
Country Resident Ito peddler)-
"Get away out of hero now, or if you
don't I'll whistle for the dog" Ped
dler-"All right, sir; but first, won't
you allow me to sell you a good
whistle ?"-Tid.Bit
Professor in English Ito young many
-"How would you punctuate the fol-
lowing: The beautiful girl, for such
she was, was passing down the street. ;"
Student-'I think, professor, / would
make dash after that beautiful girl. "
Woonsocket Reporter.
Mamma-'I don't like the idea of
that young Harris hanging around
Jenny so much. He hasn't a cent ex-
cept his little salary" Papa-''You
needn't worry. They are both too
busy talking about bicycles to have
any time for love making. Indian
apolis Journal.
A gentleman was assisting at a
bazar by reciting now and again dur
ing the evening. He had recited once
or twice, and the people were sitting
about chatting, when he heard one of
the committee go up to the chairman
and whisper: Hadn't Mr. - better
give us another recitation now?"
Wheroupon the chairman replied;
"No, not yet; let them enjoy them
-, d, la I,,.ga- n,A,