davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
CURRENT HUMOR.

WiIlie-I don't believe it is wicked to chew
tobacco. Nellie-Why, WillieI Willie-Well,
IL amt. 1 tried 1t and 1t made me SICK.
wicked things is all good.-Cincinnah En-
quirer.
Merchant-What, back again so soonR
never knew you to do an errand SO quickly as
that before. Messen ger boy-No,I guess you
didn't. / hung on, behind hearse'-Somer-
vile Journal.
Dealer-Yes'm; that is a mighty handsome
parrot but will be honest with you ana ten
you he swears like sailor. Mrs WatIs-I-
ah-guess I'll hire him for week, II you VIII
permit me. I've got to clean house.-lndlan-
apolis Journal.
Miss sweetly-How did you know was
going to wear my hair curled this evening"
Mr.. Plainman-I saw IL IN the papers 1AiS
morning-Brooklyn Life.
'I see that the Austrian Government has
granted pension to a man and his wlIe VINO
have Just completed the one hundredth year
of their married life" said Happicus "Dear
me-" cried Cynicus. "Are these war pensions
never to stop?-Harper's Bazaar.
by the way" said Jonah, as he made HIM
self comfortable, "haven't I seen you before7"
'sWhere?" snorted the overfed cetacean. 81
have an impression that you are the fish that
broke line and got away from me one day
when 1 was fishing off a deck in Nineyeh. -
Truth.
Tommie-What Is tailor's goose, pop? Pop
suppose it is what he makes duck trousers
on.-Yonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Henpeck-The true heroes of theiring are
not the pugiists.
Mr.. Singleton-Who are they?
Mr.. Henpeck (sadly)-The married men,
Philadelphia Record.
,Boggs-I see the Weather Bureau has put in
a typewriter. r4t
Foggs-Well, that means that we are about to
have bad spell of weather.-YonkersS States
man.
His Exclusiveness-You don't read novels as
much as you used to, Mr.. Beverly?
"No. There are so few women in fiction nova
days that are fit to associate with."-Chicago
Record. l
Sympathetic friend-Your lawyers charge
was very high, 1 presume?
Convicted murderer-Yes, but the Judges
charge was what finished me.-Somerville
Journal.
Bell-Why did the old novels all end with
"And they lived happily ever after?'
Nell-Because the new woman was not
known then.-New York Herald.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
THE UNCERTAIN SOUTH.
San Diego Union.

1t looks very much as though the South were
TO be q doubtful factor in the coming Presi-
Dental election. Already there are ample
indications that it Will not be solidly Demo
cratic as in days of yore. In Georgia the Re-
publ1cans and Populists have perfected plan
for the capture of the State at the next elec-
ton. They intend to fuse in the interest OF
lair elections, the plan being to give the Re-
publlcans the Governor and the Populists the
united States Senator. Moreover the breaks
IN the ranks of the Democracy in Alabama and
the Carollnas are widening, and fusion on one
basis or another is likely to be the watchword
curing ehe next few months How far the
Republicans may profit by this general break
Ing up remains to be seen. They have every
thing to gain by Ii if they will
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
PARAGRAPHS ABOUT PEOPLE.

w. w. Astor recently paid $500 to an Eng
lish grower for the stock of a single variety of
rose tree.
Japan's field marshaPs name is properly pro-
nounced Y-a-m-a-t-a. The is silent, and the
as are pronounced as in calm
An Englishman named Jefferson has started
on 6000-mile bicycle ride to Irkutsk, in sibe-
ria His machine and baggage weigh sixty
pounds.
Governor Coffin OF Connecticut is good
enough to say that reporters have genera ally
been of service to him in reporting his
speeches much better than he had delivered
them.
Calve has taken particular charity to her
great, big heart. She is woman to the core
and loves children. She has offered to help
the New York French Day Nursery. She will
sing and in addition will recite some of those
delicious monologues with which she has de.
lighted her intimates.
Count Won Caprivi, ex-Chancellor of the Ger
man empire, who has been living quietly at
the home Of his niece on a large estate in
Northern Prussia, is at work on his memoirs
1t is announced that they will soon be in the
hands of Berlin printer. 1t is supposed that
they will contain some interesting revelations.
Mrs. julia Ward Howe Will be among the
speakers at the Medfeld Woman's Clubs cele-
bration of Hannah Adams life and works in
May. Hannah Adams founded O. woman,s
literary society in Medfeld before the Revolu-
tionary War, and the exercises will be held in
the church which she attended in the quaint
old town.
The Emperor of China has two names a pri-
vate or personal name, 'sTsai-Tien,n which,
however, according to the demands of Chinese
etiquette. is never spoken. 1t may be written
but in reading the reader must use synonym
in pronouncing it. The Emperor's public
name is Kwang-su, which means 'illustrious
succession"
NJ. Faure, President of France, is taking
great interest in the welfare of the French
soldiers. A few days ago he visited the bar
racks of some of the regiments in Paris, went
to the Kitchens and ate some of the food which
is furnished to the soldiers He summoned an
active general and told him the food was not
good enough. The President intends to see
that it is better.
The Dowager Duchess of Abercorn mas had
unusual experience even for one who can
count, as her Grace can, 40 descendants
Within twenty-four hours she was presented
with four greatgrandsons, Lady Edith King
Noel and Lady Frances Gresey having both
given birth to sons on Wednesday last, while
later on the same day Hon. Mrs. Frederick
Anson gave birth to twin boys. All these
aides are granddaughters of the Duchess
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
NO DEAL WITH DEMOCRACY.

AN EARNEST PoPuLIST PROTESTS AGAINST SUR
RENDER OF PRINCIPLES FOR THE SAKE
OF OFFICE SEEKERS
SAN FRANCISCO, April %, 1896.
To the Editor of the San Francisco Cdil-SIR:
notice in your morning issue a cartoon and
editorial On the rumored unholy alliance of
the Populists and Democrats. can hardly be-
lieve such thing possible, and sincerely hope
you may be mistaken. Should the Populist
party merge its individuality in the putrid
carcass of the Democratic party thousands
would desert it, whereas should 1t spurn wi tn
contempt such proposition, TO its standard
would come many voters from both the old
parties. individual ambition should be su b.
serV1ent to the welfare of Government, and
wnen to crafty it all principle and decency is
lost sight OF. then long farewell to the par ty
permitting the sacrifice. AS humble mem
Der OF the Peoples party the very talk of such
a proposition fills me with disgust. Let us
stano by our principles, which are pGeserva-
tive OF the rights OF the masses and political
purity. BEN MORGAN.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

ploye has something to look forward to and
Will give his entire attention to duty. Every
person concerned will be the gainer-the en-
OF the road in the qualification afforded him by
travel over a line insuring both safety and
courteous attention, and the company viii be
very largely the gamer from all the results.
1t is to be hoped that the experiment will be
observed with profit by other lines
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
THE THEATER HAT.

The women of this town may be possessed of
more than the ordinary share of good sense
which belongs to the feminine sex, but they
are doing their best to abolish the high hat
Cleveland Leader.
There is new theater in Paris to which
only women are to be admitted. Now we
shall see the hat question fought out on its
own ground without preiudice.-St. Paul Pio-
neer Press.
:, What Is the use of oflegislating against the big
tneater nat? such hats are now worn only by
old women, and surely some concessions may
be made to age.-Chlcago Dispatch.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

IMPORTANT CHANGE OF TIME.-The 10Th tn,.
the Northern Pacific Railroad inaugurated douhIa
daily passenger service between Portland and ST.
Paul, making saving Of ten hours between port
land and Chicago These are the fastest and finest
equipped trains that ever were run out OF the Pa.
CHIC Northwest. The superior accommodations in
our passenger equipment recommend onr line 70
all. Ours is the only line that runs dnng-cars OUT
OF Portland t. K sTATELER, general agent,
65S Market street. San Francisco
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

telegram from Louisville informs the
world that 5000, 900 worth of old Kentucky
whisky has just been reshipped from Ger
many to the Blue Grass State. 1t would
seem that the old term of ''sending Goals
to Newcastle is more than matched by
this occurrence
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
CALIF0RNIANS In NEW YORK.

NEW YORK, N. Y, April 23.-At the Cosmo-
politan, J. j. Becker; Holland, B. Hecht, f. J.
Carolan; Grand Union, Mrs. J. Schmitz; Belve-
dere, Mrs. Fl. H. Taussig; Bartholdi, A. Frasier
and wife, the Misses Francis; st. Denis, Mr..
and Mrs. A. R. Fritsehe, A. R. Fritche Jr.,
w. B. Glidden; Westminster. Miss NJ. 1. Potter.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
IN THE POLITICAL SWIM.

Up to date neither Mr.. Platt nor Mr.. Quay
has succeeded in finding the switch by which
Mr.. Reeds boom may be backed off the side
track.-Chicago Record.
Instead of burying their differences at the
grave of Jefferson, those Democratic pilgrims
seem to have exhumed fresh supply of
trouble.-New York Journal.
1t is very, kind in General Grosvenor. M. c..
to permit Mr.. Reed and the other candidates
to have few delegates of those thus far
ted.-Indianapolis Journal.
Who the deuce is Hobart of New Jersey, and
why should he loom up for the Vice-Presidency
more than any other respectable citizen OF the
United States 2-Boston Herald.
The time that tries the souls of political
candidates is close at hand. The arithmetic
clans must soon have the delegates before
they count them.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The elements that believe in protection, plus
reciprocity, are going to control the ga thering
at st. Louis after all contests have been set
tied as the National Committee will settle
them.-New York Recorder.
The Russell boom In Massachusetts certainly
seems to be gaining an impetus which prom
ises to wreck the Olney boom when the col
hsion comes. The prospect would be more ex-
citing, however, if either were more substan-
TALLY onstructed.-ProvidenceJ Journal.
II there is any man foolish enough to sup
pose that Russell could carry Massachusetts
he should be sent 10 lunatfc asylum. Massa-
chusetts has got her fill of any sort of Demo-
cratic administration. Massachusetts is
against free silver, but no more strongly than
sheis for protection. And Russell is as ardent
against protection as he is against free silver,
No, Willie, it won't go.-Lowell Courier
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
RECIPE.

Most paths unto greatness
Are OBVIOUSLY formed,
But here is highway
That's easily learned.
Remember while seeking
Position or power,
To think of the minute
And talk by the hour.
And then, when you've gotten
Astride of fame's peak,
Keep still when the public
Expects you to speak.
-WashinKton Star.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

1t is hard to see what Kelly and Ma
honey expect to make out of their little
trick after every one has got on to It.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
THE CALL SPEAKS FOR ALL.
Unpledged delegates will take the cak

The funding bill rush will end in cave
down the bank.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
Why Not q Monkey ?
Cniuaa CuD-

Delegates who have to be pledged are, as a
rule, hardly worth. pledging."-San Francisco
CALL.
True. If man is not to think why not send
the pledge on by monkey? If brains are
worthless why bother about who go as dele
gates?
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Whenever Harrity holds his tongue the
Pattlson boom ceases to be eheard of.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

CLEvELANDs CHILDREN - c.. NJ F., North
Temescal, CAL President Cleveland has three
daughters. The youngest was born July 2,
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The way to get Eastern men to assist in
promoting Pacific Coast interests is for
Pacific Coast men to pat themselves in
position to grant favors as well as ask
favors.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Edward Wortley Montagu, the eccentric son
OF Lady Mary, is said to havefpossessed more
snuff-boxes than would suffice Chinese idol
with q hundred noses-a collection which. per-
haps, was never equaIled, unless by that of
King George ~, whe was not less extravagant
and recherche in snuff and snuff-boxes than in
other things
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

General Dragomiroff, who represented Russia
at the French autumn maneuvers, has pub
llshed fiattering criticism of the French
soldiers. He finds that great advance has
been made since 1888, when he saw them last.
both in material organization and in the ousl.
ity of officers and men,
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

GERMAN CoNsuL-P. E. W.. Kelsey, El Dorado
County, Cal. The Consul Tor Germany at San
Francisco is Adolph Rosenthal, and his Office
is at 31S Sacramento street.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The next thing we hear fall in the direc-
ton of Cuba may be Havana.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

THE North Pacific Coast Railroad via Sausa.
Tito ferry runs through the most charming coun-
try in California. No overcrowded boats and
noisy Sunday picnic crowds to mar the pleas
ure OF families and priva te parties.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

HARRIsoN's WEALTH-C. NJ. F., North Temes-
cal, Cal. The wealth OF ex-President Benja-
min Harrison has been stated all the way from
100000 to 81 600 600.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Very few Populists are in favor of hitch
ing their apple-carts to the Democratic
donkey.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

THE HEMENwAY ExPEDITIoNs-R. B. j., City.
This correspondent is anxious to obtain infor-
nation of the Hemenway expeditions. Can
any of the readers of this department tell him
about them?
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
UNPLEDGED DELEGATES.
The Voice of the Press on the Issue
Before Republicans.
1t Would Be Best.
San Hose Mercury.

San Jose Mercury.
II will be best for California to send to the
st. Louis convention delegation that knows
enough to work for the interests OF the State
without being instructed.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The only way to make sure that the Cali
fornia delegation will have voice in nam
ing the winner at st. Louis will be to send
it unpledged.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The size of Kelly and Mahoney may be
estimated from the fact that it takes the
two of them together to make one bust.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

STRONG muscles, steady nerves, good appetite
result from blood made pure by Hoods sarsapa-
rlla This Is proved by what thousands say about
Hoods. 1t is the ideal spring medicine.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

PINE-W. C. c., City.-What is known in the
lumber markets of this coast as pine is genuine
pine. There is also fir, which is sold as such.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

SohoS po.-At Atmo5phere Is perfectly dry son
and mild, and is entirely free from the r,ss,s co,
mon further north Round-trlp tickets. by steau,-
snip Including fifteen days board at the Hotel dsI
Corenado, $50; longer stay So so per day Apply
ne" montgomery ST.. San Francisco
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

One of the bad effects of the British sur
plus has been the delusIon of some Lon
don editors into the belief that England
can afford Mar
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Olney ought to have enough vigor in his
foreign policy to make Bayard come home.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Democracy cannot get the tariff out o
its way, but it can get out of the way {
the tariff.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
LADY'S WAIST WITH JACKET
FRONT.

novel sleeve is shown here which will be
appreciated by the woman who wishes to keep
in advance of the styles. 1t is closely fitted,
with circular cape-like top. The jacket front
is also much liked. allowing variety in the
shape of vest and blouse effects. The sim
plicity OF the shape is a relief from the reVers
and large collars.
A dress OF plain black mohair had vest of
yellow crepe with rows of black insertion put
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

1t is now evident that so long as we
have the Cleveland hoodoo in the White
House even Republican Congress is
powerless to help the country,
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Instead of preparing to stump the coun-
try this year Democracy finds itself
stumped.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The Democratic search for candidate
is not SO hopeless as the search for plat
form.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

party to shoot Kelly and Mahoney into
the rubbish pile.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

From the dulIness of the news from the
Soudan it would appear that when the
Mahdi proclaimed holy war he had no
other idea than that of taking up a collec.
ton.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Mr.. Cleveland's gold bug trocha has had
no visible effect In stopping the movement
of silver Democrats in any part of the
country.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The Indianapolis News asserts that If the
proper emergency arises in the st. Louis
convention Mr.. Harrison will recognize it
and bow to it gracefully.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

From the standpoint of Democratic
oftice-seeker it is good politics to put as
much of his load into the Populist wagon
as possible, but no Popuhst can hone to
make any headway by attaching his
wagon to the Democratic donkey.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

California will have big interests at St
Louis, and it will take a delegation o.
strong men to carry them through.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

In the wreck of his carriage Cleveland
seems to have deported himself with as
much calmness as in the wreck of his
party.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Mr. Russell may be pleased with the in
dorsement OF his Presidential boom by the
democrats OF Massachusetts,, but it is safe
10 say he has not thought it worth while to
arrange for much hotel room in Chicago.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

MATcHwooD-w C. c., City, The wood used
in this City in the manufacture of California
matches is Oregon cedar.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The next thing we know Chicago will be
inventing a means to use the X-ray in
killing hogs.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The sentiment in favor of an early ad
iournment in Congress is doubly good
inasmuch as it will help to defeat tn,
funding bill scheme.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

If there ever was time when Democ-
racy was capable of still hunt it is this
year. There is not a boom nor a brass
band in the party.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

THE NATHAN MURDER-C. W., City. The muir
der t61r. OF Benjamin Nathan New YoTs STs capi-
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

DIR. Stebbins summed the situation up
in phrase when he said, "The habit of
instructing delegates to National conven-
tions is localism,n
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24
"Mrs. winslow's soothing svr,n,,

Mrs. Winsiow's Soothing Syrup,
Has been used over so years by millions OF moths-.
ior thelr children while Teething with perfect sue
cess. ~ sootnes the child softens the gums alays
Pain, cures Wind Collie regulates the Rourars and
Is the best rtnedy for Diarrhceas whether arising
from teething or other causes. For sale by Drug
gists In every part Of the world. Be sure and ask
ior MRS. "inslow's Soothing Syrup. 25c bottle
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

1t is even betting that some Los An
geies boomers are taking census of the
place this week and claiming every visitor
IN sight as citizen on the ground that
all are making themselves at home.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

SPECIAL information daily to manufacturers.
business p5 houses and public men by the Press
Clipping Bureau (Allen's), $40 Montgomery. =
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The way in which General Weyler is
capturing Cuba bears close resemblance
to the way the Democratic tariff has en-
abled US to capture the markets of the
world
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

In putting forward certain John Hipp
as candidate for President, the Denver
Prohibitionists may have reasonably ex-
pected that the name would be followed
by hurrah.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Having everything to show from queen
of beauty to a Chinese dragon Los An
geles may fairly claim that her fiesta leads
the festivals of the world in picturesque
VARIETY
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

1t Is one of the most striking peculiari-
ties OF the political situation that Massa-
ehusetts and Pennsylvania have taken the
lead in offering candidates for the Demo-
cratic Presidential nomination.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

1t is very, kind in General Grosvenor, NJ c.,
to permit Mr.. Reed and the other candidates
to have few delegates of those thus far
elects ted.-Indianapoli Journal
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

wi1lie-I don't believe it is wicked to chew
.obacco. Nellie-Why, WillieI Willie-WelI,
{ amt. 1 trieo it and it made me sick.
wicked things is all good.-cincinnati En-
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

STRANGERS, take home Townsend's California
Glace Fruits, soc lb. 627 Market, Palace Hotel.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Who the deuce is Hobart of New Jersey, and
why should he loom up for the Vice. Presidency
more than any other respectable citizen OF the
United States 2-Boston Herald.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Tom PAINE's DoCTRINE-J. A. R., City. There
is no church or congregation in this City that
teaches the doctrines of Tom Paine, but there
is lecturer who presents the doctrine of
deism, more properly theism or natural re-
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Merchant-What, back again so soonf 1
never knew you to do an errand SO quickly as
that before. Messenger boy-No,I guess you
didn't. / hung on behind hearse.-Somer-
uiIla T0uruai
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

w. w. Astor recently paid $500 to an Eng
lish grower for the stock of a single variety of
rose tree.
Japan's field marshaPs name is properly pro-
nounced Y-a-m-a-t-a. The g is silent and the
as are pronounced as in calm.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

FLAGs-M. D. B., Oakland, Cal. There are
number of organizations that have adopted
flags, as for instance the Masons, Odd Fellows,
Ancient Order of United Workmen and others,
which are hoated from tagstaffs whenever
these bodies meet or whenever it is desired to
display the same at half-mast as token OF
respect. 1t is not improper that such be dis
played without the American flag or streamer
floating from the masthead
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

MOTHER AND CHILD-T. c. B., City. If q
widow marries again whatever property she is
possessed of at the time of marriage is her
separate property, and after marriage she is as
not married. If she had any children by the
first marriage and also had children by the
second, unless she disposed of her property by
will, the children would all have an interest
as heirs in the property. 20 -
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

The time that tries the souls of political
candidates is close at hand. The arithmeti
clans must soon have the delegates before
they count them.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Dealer-Yes,m; that is mighty handsome
parrot but will be honest with you and tell
you he swears like sailor. Mrs. watts
ah-guess I'll hire him for a week, IL you VIII
permit me. I've got to clean house,-lndian-
n opoIic IonrDa1
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

An Englishman named Jefferson has started
on 600o-mile bicycle ride to Irkutsk, in Sibe-
ria. His machine and baggage weigh sixty
pounds.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

MARIE CoRELLI's WoRKs-R. A. NJ, Redwood
City, Cal. The works of Marion Mackay whose
nom de plume is marie Corelli," have been
nance of Two Worlds" and "Vendetta" in
1886, 'Thelma" in 1887, ''Ardeth" and "My
Wonderful Wife" in 1889 and "Wormwood,"
"The Soul of Litith," ''Barabas' and sThe Sor-
last two named being her latest books.
The San Francisco call., 1896-04-24

Bell-Why did the old novels all end with
"And they lived happily ever after?'
Nell-Because the new woman was not
known then.-New York Herald.