Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-09-24

Atlanta Constitution.
IL suppose you have music at the
hotel" "No, but We have a band"
Harper's Bazaar.
DIR. Jalap-Let me see your tongue,
please. Pat.ent-Oh, doctor, no tongue
can tell how bad / feel.-Boston Tran
script.
"Now, Johnnie, go and wash your
face. Auntie will call this Afternoon"
"But what IL she doesn't callT'-Brook-
lyn Life.
Darling, you are the apple Of my
eye" ~ don't see how that can be.
moment ago you said 1 was peach"
New York Evening World.
Hicks-My baby actually cried for
the moon last evening. Wicks-
That's nothing. One of those days she'll
be wanting the earth.-Boston Tran
script.
Ethel-Did you buy that second
hand bicycle Of friend? George
Well, always considered him friend
till he sold me the "bike."-IIeslie's
Weekly.
Miss Gowanus-I envy the way you
can talk to Mr.. Caustique; he never
sits on any Of your remarks. Miss
Gotham-No; make them too point
ed.-Judge.
"Why have Ashley and Miss Gush-
ington broken Off" "He thought to
compliment her by saying that she
reminded him Of his other."-Cleve-
land Leader.
Little ElSie-Ain't those cows small,
ma? Ma-Yes, dear. Elsie-I guess
them's the kind that they gets con-
densed milk from, amt they?-Phila-
delphia Record. .,ds
"Does your literary club disband in
the summer, Miss Rose?" Move
can't waste any time; and this year
1t is just lovely-we are learning TO
tell fortunes with cards. PUCK.
"Jack is SO bashful that when he
proposed to me the other night had
to assist kim" "What did you say ?"
whenever he hesitated i would call
out Play ball Chicago Record.
Miss Frostique-I always have had
a dread that l should be married for
my money. Miss Caustique-Why,
dear, / should think that would be
a matter Of hope, not dread.-Truth.
There was a young lady Of Crewe,
Who wanted to catch the 2:O2;
Said the porter: Don't hurry,
Or scurry, or furry;
It's minute or 2 2 2!'
Boston Courier.
Henry Peck-Does your wife scold
you for coming home late? Crabbe-
Not bit of it, Henry Peck-How do
you manage it? Crabbe-I don't have
any wife-Philadelphi North Amer
lean.
above ALL" said the throat special
ist, "the lady must talk as little as pos
sible." "Doc," eagerly asked Mrs.
Greymair's husband, sis there any hope
Of 1t becoming chronic T-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
"This blackberry pie isn't nearly as
good as those mother used to make"
"No; I told your mother this morning
when she made 1t that you would be
sure to find fault with it."-Chicago
Record.
Salvation Army Apostle-If you
swear at those horses, my good man,
you'll never go to heaven. Teamster
(humbly)-I knows it, mum; but IL I
don't I'll never get to Tonawanda.-
Buffalo Times.
Teacher-Tommy, when was Rome
built? Tommy-In the night. Teach
er-How came you to make such a
mistake? Tommy-You said yester-
day Rome wasn't built in a day
Brooklyn Life.
'I can't see what possessed her to
fall in love with him. He can't dance.
he can't sing, he isn't handsome,
he" "Why, don't you know? He
made a century run with one pedal"
indianapolis Journal.
Buffalo buyer Ito shoe dealer)-Why
did you warrant those patent feathers
to last, when one has cracked already?
Dealer-My dear sir, how can we be
sure there Is no infringement on the
tent?-Buffalo Times.
Mrs. Sweetser-George, you forgot
to kiss me this morning when you went
away. Mr.. Sweetser-Are you sure Of
1t? 1 certainly remember kissing some
body this morning. 1 supposed it was
you.-Boston Transcript.
He was once called to push the old swing
with will
For the girl he had chosen to WOO;
But now he's expected to push her up hill
In a cycle constructed for two.
Washington Star.
'Pape, what is broker" "a man,
my son, whose chief effort In life IL to
reduce his customers to that financial
condition expressed by the significant
term of broke For this reason, Har-
nv, he is called a Observation-Disclosures n
Times.
81 wouldn't 5e so donwncast,::a said
the lady whose great hes-t went out
m sympathy for Dismal Dawson.
How can guy help bein' downcast,"
said MT. Dawson, when bout every
body he meets truns him down ?'-In-
dianapolisg Journal
Thoughtful: my husband Is the mosA
considerable man In the world" "In
what way" when he gave me my
new writing desk he had two keys
made, SO that If l lost mine, he. would
have one. Few men would be as
thoughtful as that."-Detroit Free
Press.
- ~ Chicago.
At the postoffice, In sorting over the
letters from various parts of the world.