Morris tribune., 1896-07-15

The Last and Most Amusing Joke of Colo
mel Broadacre of Texas.

WlLLED HIM THE EARTH.
The Last and Most Amusing Joke of Colo
mel Broadacre of Texas.
Colonel Broadacre of Texas, who
was quite wit in his way, had a
bumptious young nephew, of whom
he was not overload, and when the
colonel finally died with his boots
on-a way they have in Texas-it
was found that he had got even with
the young man in question by face
tiously willing him the earth.
The colonel wanted his sorrowing
relatives to enjoy the joke as early
in the reading of his last will and
testament as possible, SO he remem-
bered his conceited nephew in the
very first clause of the will, which
ran as follows:
To my we'll beloved (by himself)
and self opinionated nephew, John
Henry Broadacre, who has always
wanted the earth, as the saying
goes, hereby give and bequeath
said body or planet, for him and his
heirs and assigns to have and to hold
in fee simple forever, or as long as
said planet, known as the earth,
shall continue to revolve in it's &C.
customed orbit. And I trust he will
live long to enjoy the bequest and
pick up a more useful stock of
knowledge than he appears to be
burdened with at the date this doc
ument is drawn. -
The colonel's estate was worth a
couple of millions, invested about
equally in land and good sound So
curity, and of course the other heirs
had the grand smoker, so to speak,
on John Henry
1t was very amusing indeed un-
til John Henry's lawyer came for
ward and claimed every square inch
of the colonel's landed estate for his
client, on the ground that it was
part Of the earth which his uncle
had willed him, and he was clearly
entitled to it.
The other heirs pointed out the
fact that the landed estate had been
specifically bequeathed to them in
the clauses of the will following
that in which John Henry had been
so handsomely remembered, but the
wide awake lawyer stoutly contend
ed-and said there WASH t court in
the country but would sustain him
in so doing-that this portion of the
will was null and void, as the testa-
tor had already disposed of every
acre of his real estate in the first
clause of the document, and no last
will and testament ever made could
give away the same piece of prop
erty twice.
In fact, he said, the strict letter
of the law would justify his client
in also claiming the securities be-
longing to Colonel Broadaore's es-
tate, as the possessor of the earth
was rightly entitled to- all it con-
tanned.
It didn't look so much like joke
to the rest of the heirs as it did at
first, and they finally dubbed to-
gether and bought off the colonel's
bumptious nephew, who evidently
had a bump of enterprise, among the
rest, for a good round sum-up in
the hundred thousands, it is said
in consideration of which he with
drew his claim to all that portion of
the earth formerly owned by Colo
mel Broadacre.
John Henry rides around in his
own carriage nowadays, and when
people ask him if he ism t getting
rather extravaganza he simply closes
his left eye for the space of perhaps
a second in a thoughtful sort of way
and says:
"Not unduly so, / guess, for a
young man who is heir to the earth. "
The moral of this story seems to
be that Righteousness, though it may
be the spice of life, is out of place in
ones last will and testament, and
also that the man who does his laugh
ing after all the returns come in is
far wiser than he who goes off at
half cock. Detroit Free Press.