Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1896-07-31

While this interesting process was
being successfully consummated the
orators of the evening Messrs Klaer
and Hon. J. j. Hart accompanied by
Presidential Postmaster Gale put in
an appearance. They stated that in
taking an evening walk they had
heard sounds, and being anxious to
know from whence they proceeded,
and by what occasional they had
followed natural impulse, which
brought them to the spot. Cheers
greeted these embodiments of off
cial dignity, and visions of unlimit-
ed free beer dawned ON the assem-
blage. Mr.. Klaer was invited to
take the stump. Modestly he dis
claimed oratorical powers, but said
when it came to counting spokes by
jockey he would not take a back seat
for any Chucktowner. He promised
that if elected to the office of Asso-
ciate Judge he would measure out
Justice for them with the same even
hand he did a white oak butt. This
touching similitude brought tears to
the eyes of some of his auditors who
had been there, and they hastily
proceeded to drown their emotions
in copious draughts of the contents
of Heller while "Dory" who fondly
clung to that gentlemans wooden re-
preventative was seen to furtively
wipe the froth from his eyes several
times.
Mr.. William Holbert, who is at
present a boarder with "Dory" rose
after repeated calls and benignly
glancing over the audience remarked
that he was not very conversant
with the gold and silver question,
but he was Dimmycrat and had
been voting that ticket, with casual
Interruptions occasioned by change
of residence, for many years. He said
stick to the ticket therein lies our
only hope of free beer. Vociferous
cheers greeted this axiom and Hell
ler was again called in requisition.
"Dory', now introduced the orator
of the evening par excellence Hon.
j. j. Hart. That gentleman con-
scious of a weight of honor and dig
nifty resting upon him said, " Poeta
nascitur, non fit, so it may be said
of NE, was born an orator, editor
md member of Congress and not
made so by any extraneous circum-
stances. I come before you on this
auspicious and eventful occasion to
congratulate you in the fact that
you have such an eloquent repres-
entativ9- III health has prevented
me from sooner displaying my won
derful magnetism as an orator,
but now purpose rising to the oc-
casion. 1 was placed on the naval
appropriations committee that
might secure a large appropriation
for building a ship canal up the Sho-
hola creek so that material could be
easily transported to the site of the
proposed national observatory to be
located ON the top of High Knob, a
project dear to my heart, and which
would likewise have been dear to
the government had not the pesky
Republicans refused consent. Think
of the uast sums which could have
been easily expended, and then think
too what those sums would imply to
the thirsty of this, my constituency"
The thought of the deprivation
caused the crowd to hastily hide
their sorrowing contenances behind
sundry tomato cans partially filled
with the contents of Heller, and
"Dory" who had been anxiously
tapping on the wooden head of that
BCutlCAudl, ulSCONCI0u an SiipbJ
sound. The look of dismay ON his
countenance became contagious, and
the speech of Mr. Hart fioated on
and out to the blue ethereal and into
the star-gemmed space beyond un-
needed
"Dory" announced that the meet
ings might be held at his place if the
conditions were kept and promised
the candidates that if free beer
enough was furnished he would raise
the dimmycratic majority in Ding
man Is feet higher than it ever had
been before. With three cheers for
the local candidates, and tiger for
Brine and Swatson, and free silver
this enthusiastic ana characteristic
assemblage of patriots adjourned to
meet at the same place in one week
prouded the candidates placed the
stuff on tap.