The record-union., 1896-10-17
WITTY bob INGERSOLL.
Abridged Excerpts From His Latest
Speech.
In Terse Sentences He Lays Bare
His Ideas on the Money
Question.

The following abridged sentences
have been drawn from the first nall OIL
Robert G. Ingersoll's great speech last
week in Chicago. While necessarily
condensing the expressions, we have, as
far as possible, preserved the language
and sharp. crisp and witty style or the
distinguished orator.
Money, said Colonel Ingersou, is not
something that man can create, put
something man must find. 1t Is oeyono
the power of legislation to make money.
greenback is no more money than
bill of fare is dinner.
Anything Government issues as
money that is promise to pay Is not
money. Money is that which does not
have to be redeemed. Government can
nj more create money than II can Gre
ate corn. When you make a dollar out
of silver you've got to put dollar $
worth of silver into IT, II 1t makes IL as
big as a cartwheel.
You do not add to the value of gold
by coming it any more than you add to
the value of wheat by measuring 1t or
to the value of coal by weighing it.
We coin gold because every man can
not take a chemists outfit with
him The Government simply certifies
that an analysis has been made and
that there are so many grains in the
coin.
Good money is money even if the Gov
ernment is bankrupt. Good money is
money whether issued by Lazarus or
Dives. A gold piece coined $500 years
ago, when Caesar rode at the head of
his legions, is as good to-day as when
Rome flourished.
When you issue a bill or note you
want somebody behind it, behind the
promise. But good money needs no
guarantor.
Money is a commodity, nothing more,
nothing less. When a man gives wheat
for gold he buys so much gold.
When we issued greenbacks and call
ed them money we had good times but
were getting into debt. When the time
came to pay the people said, let US issue
more greenbacks and have more good
times. But when the time of payment
finally comes hard times come along
with it.
John buys a farm or wagon on credit
and sends Mary to school on credit. The
time comes when payment is demand
ed and John says, Gentlemen, / never
had better times than when I was Civ
ing these notes. I've got plenty more
please, in philanthropy, take them and
my family can remain happy"
Good money is always good. When
people buy good money with bad money
they say the good money is at a pre-
MUM. That is not so; the bad money is
at a discount.
Here is a man running for the Pres
idency preaching that money is crea-
of lou 7 ic oft fI0 fI11,e
of money, but money was never yet the
creature of law. If we can make money
by law, why shall we not all be rich, for
law is inexhauStible.
If you can turn it into money no ma
ton has an excuse for being poor.
IF Government can make money by
law why levy taxes?
Here is a man working forty acres Of
stony ground with a yoke Of cattle. The
Government taxes him SO. Why not
issue bills and give the man and the
yoke of cattle a rest?
Government creates nothing; it is a
perpetual pauper; it raises no corn or
wheat; it collects taxes; we give it
aims; we give it a part of what we Gre
ate; we cannot depend on Government
for bread; we must feed it; withdraw
our support and where would the off,
cials be?
Government cannot support us; the
idea is as silly as that of the fountain of
perpetual youth as idiotic as the phi
lCsopher's stone.
They say that what makes gold valu-
able is the law making it legal tender.
That is arguing backward. Making a
thing legal tender gives it no value, but
being valuable, law may make 1t legal
tender. Legal tender quality rests on
the value of the metal
Why do most people love oysters? I
DON'T know. Why do so many people
get idiotic about the election? I don't
know.
But these are facts in human nature.
Mr.. Bryan says our money is too
g0cd. How can money be too good? ?
There may not be enough Of it in my
reigh ghbOrhood-there is not
He says we want more money So say
!, but we want good money-the more
the better.
There has been added to the money
of the world in the last year S225, 600 600
in gold, dug from the earth. Next year
probably there will be added a hundred
millions more.
Bryan says we want cheap money.
Why? Because our money is now so
good that people hoard it, So he wants
to get more money that nobody will
keep. money that everybody will be
crazy TO spend.
In this city. many years ago, there
was an old colored man at the Grand
Pacific. l met him one morning, and he
looked sad, and I said to him: Uncle,
what is the matter?" Well" he said,
my wife ran away last night. Pretty
good looking woman, a good deal
younger than am, but she has run off,
And he says: Colonel, I want to give
you my idea about marriage. If man
wants to marry a woman, and have a
good time, and be satisfied, and secure