The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-09-10
JUST 40 ooos NOW.

W00v 8OvE0l0Om W 0ooUy ox Oo0t00s
srsss 4 Reads Said sf silver II 1879.
CoxS1DERrr 4 ROADS (Which 10 IN the /,
state Of Keutucky), Jan. ~. iS7S.-I'<
ain't 20 certain that I want the silver
bill to pass es was. The fact 10, the
thing dou't work en- sposed IL wood,
and axn't clear onto it. There is suttls
principles Ia these flnanshel questions
wich requires . great deel Nv thought,
and there is underlying principles wich
> man has got to understand afore he 10
competent to set hisself up es IN author
ity.
amt no fnanseer, nor never will be, and
told him 90. @
"What is a finanseerr' asked he.
"a flnanseer," sed l. assooming the
look nv Dan'l Webster, sis man wich
kin pay his debts with nothin'-a man
wich can git suthin with nothin'."
"The Corner, then, is full Of flnan.
seers." he remarkt, bitterly, castin' .
casual glance at his slate, wich wuz jist
full enuf to turn over and begin on
tother side.
But he hezen't any nv the science nv
II. wuz argooing with him the other
day in favor nv my noshun nv leather
currency, though I told him silver wuz
AAAuCA Uu0 ouAuO VIlhuBs af1uy 4OI 0A8u4pA0s
would assOOm that silver wuz to be the
currency nv the fucher.
"Now, don't yoo see, Bascom, that ef
he'd twict ez much money I Good drink
twict ez much whisky, and pay for itr,
"How much ez twict nothin' ?" wuz
the unfeelin' answer NV the tyrant who
holds the destinies nv the Corners in his
hands. That's wot yoor capitle hez bin
ever since knowd yoo."
"Parson," sed he, II don't see what
eithly difference it's going to make
whether silver is currency or anything
else. How are 700 goin' to git silver ef
it is made legal tender? Eff silver wuz
ez plenty ez bricks, wat hev 700 got to
git any NV it withr'
"Troo, G. w." was my answer;
"but can't you see that to hev silver
wood relieve the -dettor olassp Even
now, afore it is legal tender, it's only
wuth ninety.two cents on the dollar,
and when the country is doodld with
it, it will 60 still lower. Then we-or
rather sich nv us ez hev property to
raise money on-kin pay off,"
"Eggsactly &c" retorts Bascom ''you
kin pay me for the good, honest likker
nv mine, witch 700 hev consoomed, in
coin, which is less than the dollar 700
promised, all Nv 700. want 700 silver
men to know exactly wat 700 are rush.
in into"
And this feend led us into the back
room-that back room wich contanes
the subsistence Nv the Corners. There,
in long rows. wuz Bascom's stock.
There in barrils, piled on top nv an.
other, wuz the delishus whisky nv
Louisville, Nv different ages, rangin'
from that NV two weeks old to that
wich he'd jist left the still, and was
scarcely cold yit. There it lay, and ez
my eye ranged affeokshunately over it,
felt ef I Good hev the drinkin' NV all
that hkker I wood be content to lay
down and die when the last drop wuy
gone.
Bascom p'inted to an immense tank
witch he he'd erected within few days,
with pipe running in from the roof. J.
II shan't raise the price NV nkker In
conscience Nv bein' paid for it in de-
| preshiated currency" sed he.
I fell on Bascom's neck, in an extacy
nv delite, while the others shouted,
"Rah for Bascom
&c. w." remarkt, while tears suf-
foosed my eyes, II never placed 700
much below the angels, but this gener-
GUS act has histed 700 hundred per
cent in my estimashun. Bless 700, G.
W.. bless yoo."
"But I'll tell 700 wat shell do. Do
| 700 see that tank ?" sed he.
"May ask wat that is for?' sed.
"That tank will fill with ranewater,'
sed he. 1.-THE moment 700 get to payin'
me in silver shel take out NV eech nv
them barrils jist eggsackly three and
one.fifth gallons NV ikker and fll it
with water"
"Merciful hevings," we all exclaimed,
Uan6 roOr ikkor n xuoak ,,OxvNJ
"And when silver gets down to 70
cents on the dollar, shell take out 25
| per cent nv whisky and fill her up with
26 per cent of water. And so on down.
Ell silver goes up I shell add whisky
| eggsackly in proporshen. In short, my
whisky is jist agoin' to foller currency,
and nOthin' shorter. Yoo fellers wich
work for wagis may SWEET, but I won't"
"But yool increase the size of yoor
| glasses?" sed I.
mot eny. But 700 may drink twice
es many times to git the same amou-.t
NV drunk es before by payin' for ea1n
drink"
And Bascom stalked hawtily back and
took his posishen behind his bar.
Their wuz cOnsternashun in the Cor.
ners such .ez hev never seen. Their
wuz a hurried consultashun at tie
Deekin's house and sejecsted that we.
emancipate ourselves from the domin-
yum nv this tyrant by startin' grosery
nv our own, on the joint stock principle,
which wus agreed to, each man agreein'
to contribbit $40 to the capitle stoc,-.
which wood be enuR to buy barl or
two, for a beginnin'.
We wuz enthusiastic till we come to
ballotin' for the man to keep the place,
when it wuz found instid NV my bein'
chosen yoonanimously. as I eggspected
| to be, that every man he'd voted for his
self. Ez not soul nv them would
| recede the skeem wuz blocked rite thero,
and finally he'd to be abandoned, ,and we
went back Il, ,Bascom's and submitted
That tyrant hez us.
Nv cOuse we can't stand ikker di.
looted in that manner. We are willin'