The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1896-08-20

Truth.
He-I fear the worst. She-What's
happened. George: Your father has
paid back that $40 lie borrowed."-Life.
Muggins-Is your son in businessl
Buggins-Ile's contractor. Muggins-
What line: Misunderstanding
delphia Record.
Homekeep-Ever drink any of these
substitutes for coffee? Dayboard-I
haven't drank anything else for seven
years.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Hedges-Sappy is continually falling
off lis wheel. Rose-What can YOU
expect from a fellow who isn't we'll
Observation-Disclosures North Ameri-
can.
summer is 4 tough season on us par-
ents." why so:' Our daughters
who have been graduated try to make
us talk grammatically."-Chicago Rec
ord.
Fame said Uncle Eben, IAN jes'
like swingin' in er hammick. Hit an
mighty good fun eff somebody doan' cut
de string an drap yer.'-Washington
Star.
Docs your family sympathize with
you when you have inSomnia?" Yes.
When l can't sleep l sit up all night
and practice On my accordion."-Chi
cago Record.
Though you may not take vacation
On your very slender pay.
There is rest and recreation
In the bores that go away.
Chicago Record.
Willie-Grandpa, tell me- a story.
Grandpa-Once upon Il time. before
people thought of marrying for o
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Herald.
"EHen,' said OLD Borderkeep. there
! comes them York folks. Give the chill
lren a little more snuff an get 'em ter
sneeZln'. We've got ter make EN- think
it's cool here somehOw."-Judge.
One bitter drop spells rapture's cup;
When ice sells 10y the splinter
We cannot can the hot waves up
TO use them in the winter.
Chicago Record.
Il suppose you're fond of Shaks-
neara." said one legitimate actor to an
other. "Of course | am Then why
In the name of humanity do you insist
on acting his Observation-Disclosures
Star.
Wickwire-Have you noticed that
Nudge has quit cigars and taken up a
pipe: Y~absley-Yes; wonder what is
the ~cause-has he been playing the
races or getting Observation-Disclosures
Journal.
Just like our hopes,
Which oft vanish in vapor,
Are the candidates promises;
S~trong-on paper.
philadelphia North American.
Salvation Army Apostle-lf you
swear at those horses, my good man,
youJI never 60 to heaven.
(humblv)-I knows it, mum; but II l
don't I'll never get to T~onaWanda.-
Buffalo Times.
Mechanic-"I have just been married
md would like a raise in my wages.
E~mployer-'I am sorry, but the com
many is only responsible for accidents
that happen to the men While N the
Internationally Life.
Wiggles-"There's n good thing
about Hicks. He is always willing 10
admit it when he is in the wrong.
Waggles-"I don't think 1t is a good
thing. 1t doesn't seem to trouble nm
n bit ."-Somerville Journal.
T summered on the Jersey coast,
And l am puzzled still,
Az twixt the skeeters and hotels,
Which has the longest bill.
Louisville Truth.
..It seems to me. Mr.. Stillson, thai
yo,,r new house is lacking in a judlcious
,se of fretwork." We'll, my wife will
All that deficiency just as soon as she
gets her eye on those measly closets"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-..I am going to pay you the
highest compliment a man can pay q
woman" She-"This is so udden."
Hell know it. but l came away with
out my pocketbook-can you lend me 4
dollar until to-morrow:'-New YORK
World.
..And how is your papa. Eddie!'
Papa is feeling ever so much better
to-day" Il suppose it's the change in
the weather:' NO, ma'am. faint the
weather. Mamma has decided TO start
for the seaside to-morrow."-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
NO" said Dismal Dawson, in answer
to his benefactor's question. hard
times is not the best for our business.
Nor yet good times. The times h
suits me best is about medium-when
the work amt too plenty, nor money
/! too e."-Inlianapolis Journal.