davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22
Know ThySeli.
SCIENCE HELPS YOU TO Br
YOUR OWN DOCTOR.
From no Era. bradford. ia.

From tho Era. Bradford. Pa.
Too tow people urc acquainted with
the rapid advance OF medical science,
nud too many doctors are still plo1-
ding In the old paths. once Il comes 10
pass that people know themselves. that
an physicians are abreast Of the
worlds knowledge. much u our SUI
fcring will come to an end. Medical
scientists are not delyinE into the
depths % knowledge for the mere ben
cilt Of brother physicians. but for the
bcnoft OF the world. They place In
the hands ~ the well man means Of
keeping well. IN the hands of the sick
man a means OF recovery. To the par
cnt they givc the power ~ saving tho
child. Science IL working for you-wlll
you accept the proffcrcd hclp7
Mrs. George Rowcnd. an cstlmahle
may who resides az M. sIG East Main
Street has cauht 10 feel grateful to-
ward N" science OF medicine.
size stated TO a reporter that she
had been suffering with female
trouble for many ears. She had been
doctorcd for the ailmont for n long
umc-in fact, nearly all her llfc-and
had never received anything more than
temporary relief During the last three
years her condition grew worse and
was aggravated By an affection Of the
heart Her health was no poor that she
found II almost impossible TO perform
her household dutlca.
II never believed In proprietary med
iclncs," said Mrs. Rowend. but one
day last fall | read an article In a
newspaper which told Of the cures 81.
fected by rr williams Pink Pills. and
! decided 10 try the medicine. Before
I had taken the contents ~ one box
began 90 feel better. The depressing
weakness which had bothered me for
"a many years began To disappear. and
the action Of the heart at once be-
came stronger and more regular.
~ took nine boxes OF the pills and
! am now feeling better than I have
for several years. ana have unbound.
ed faith In tho medicine"
DR., williams Pink Pills contain all
the elements necessary to give new life
ma richness TO the blood and restore
shattered nerves, They are for sale
by all druggists. or mny be had by mail
from Or. Willlama' Medicine Company,
Schenectady. y. Y. Tor 30 cents per
box, or siS boxes for $3.50
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

George lnwood. Of No. 700 Union
street has written the sermon which
Will be delivered at his own funeral.
Moreover, 20 make certain that this
sermon shall be fully understood. that
there may be no faltering or hesitancy
over The 0lindly written words. he has
caused his funeral production to be
printed in large, bold type One hun.
dred copies were struck on. These ore
kept In strong box away from the
light, only TO be produced on the day Of
the funeral Having thus arranged for
the statements OF fact and belief to be
uttered, Mr. lnwood went n step fur.
thcr and provided In his will, which
viii be opened before the funeral serv.
ices, for reader Any person who is
u scctnrian IN belief Is hopclcssly dis.
qualified The heirs will fail Of ful.
hllment Of the conditions upou
which bcqucsts are predicated Is
that II any member OF any sect
enunciatcs the words This necessarily
bars out all clcrgymcn. From this Il
should not be inferred that Mr.. lnwood
has no religious belief OF himself he
says: 81 am q full believer In the life
and doctrins OF Jesus Christ, but ] am
strictly non.scctarian. San Francisco
Examiner.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22
HUMOROUS

The wife. "Isnt that your eye doc
tori" The husband; Il thought so
until he cent In bis bill He's skin
specialist. Harper's Weekly.
Her effort 10 be agreeable-C Clergy
man. Some people think preach long
sermons DO you think so7" She:
"oh. mo- They only seem long."-Puck.
Visitor "But this portrait OF Mr..
Bulger Is a good deal more than life
fizc." Artist. 81 know a. That is the
size he thinks he Boston Bulletin.
That whisky Is fifteen years old.
know Il. because I've had Il that long
myself" The colonel: by Joyei sir
you must be a man Of phenomenal self
conirol."-Life.
She ttaughtilU; Il beg your pardon.
sir. YOU have the advantage OF me-"
lie QauntlU. u should say had I'm
the follow you lifted ten years ago.
Melbourne Weekly Times.
FIrst tramp. 1T makes nc nervous
TO sleep in one Of desc lodein' houses
supplsin' q fire was to break out In do
night2' Second tramp: pats So
Dem nrcmen would turn a hose on yer
IN a mlnutc."-Truth.
Teacher. Tommy. you may define
the difference between n while and a
time" Tommy. "wy-wy when paw
says he is going down for while nav
royf shCll bet he's going FOR a time. -
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"WLat course should a lawyer pursue
when called on to defend a man whom
he knows to be guilty." asked the ox-
amincr The examined scratched his
head % moment and answered Charge
hlm double. OF course. Cincinnati En-
qulrcr
Beatrice sends us gomc verses cnti-
tod. why DO Liyc?' We cannot use
your contribution. Beatrice. but We can
answcr your conundgum. You live sim
ply because you send your verses IN.
stead Of bringing thcm.-Yonkcr8
State man.
Tho teacher OF tho infant class at the
sunday school. 10 interest the
liur onoa had begun to tell them tho
story OF iac IAN Of man. when a mite OF
% e.fl Vra heard 10 oEclaim hllf aloud
"Oh. rm 80 tlrol OF tHat story about the
hdaMara" horton Transcript
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22
MORE OR Less HUMOROUS.

Jones 1t is fashionable congro-
cation, isn't ~" smlth-"Yery. Their
minister may believe what he likes
about the Bible. but II he should ever
advocate tho taxation Of church prop
erty he'd have to go."-Puck.
The lady-"Now. I hope you won't
spend this money for that vile liquor"
The tramp-"woll. mum. I'll do mo
best. but I'm not connysoor. an |
generally has to drink II nforo | can
tell whether Il is good or bad."-Mll-
waukee Citizen.
a man sent this answer TO n book
seller who sent IN his account for a
book some time before delivered: 81
never ordered tho book. II did you
DID not send II. n got It paid for IL.
II didn't Toronto Register.
SAY" snapped the busy man, my
time Is worth 81 a minute; do you
hear?' That fist shows the difference
in folks" said the gentleman with the
shoelaces to sell. "Once | done n whole
years time for only Indlanap-
oils Journal.
what's this?" asked Marie, looking
AZ the blank piece OF cardboard which
Wilbur had handed her. That's Chol-
lie Dudekin's picture by the Rosntgcn
process but I don't see anything
That's Just It. This Roentgen light
method takes Interiors. Barring his
exterior there isn't anythink to Chollle
10 take."-Harper's Bazaar
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

Among the passengers arriving at
Southampton on Saturday last by
the steam ship Norman. who was
monkey Of large size which came from
south Africa In charge Of passen.
ger, by whom he was found after the
late explosion at johannesburg. seated
In the only room remaining intact Of
what had before been considerable
sized cottage In the room were also
discovered two baby children. one Of
whom had been killed. but the other
was alive, and, II is said, In the ar->S
OF the monkey, who was tendcrly nuts-
ing IT, The living child was adopted
by resident In johannesburg, but the
monkey, who was noted on board for
his extreme iondness FOR children, was
n popular passenger by the Union Com.
pauy's Mail steamer Westminster
taygtto
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

On May homescckcrs' excursion
tickets will be sold from all points IN
the West and Northwest over the "Big
one fare for the round.trip. settlers
nu better than in Virginia. There
they have Cheap farm labds, no bli1-
Yards, NO cyclones, mild winters, never
failing crops. cheap transportation aud
the best markets send for free de-
criptivc pamphlet, excursion rates aud
timc folders. O.. J. Truitt, ~ W. T.
a. 2ji Clark ST., Chicago, III.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

by local applications. AZ they cannot
reach the diseased portion ~ the ear.
There 10 only one way 20 cure deafness,
and that a. by constitutional remedies.
Deafness IN caused by an innnmcd con-
dillon ~ the mu 'uus llnlng 81 the Eus-
tachlun Tube. when the tube n In
famed you have rumbllng sound or
imperfect hearing, ana when u n en-
tirely closed Deafness II the result. and
unless the Inflammation can be taken
out and this tube restored 10 It, normal
condition, hearing will be destroyed for
ever: nine cases out OF ten are caused
BY Caturrh. which IL nothing but an In
famed condition OF the mucous sur
faces.
We viii give one Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness Caused by Ca
tarrh) that cannlt be- cured by Hairs
Catarrh Cure. Send FOR circulars. free.
+. ]. CHENEY & CO. Toledo. o.
Sold by druggHtsi 15c,
Halls Family Pills. &c.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22
STOLEN BY 4 GORILLA.
4 Cincinnati Mans Awfui Experience In
Fast Afrlcn.

Fast Africn.
A Clnclnnntian who has lately re-
turned from a tous Of South and East
Africa told a reporter of % thrilling
encounter he had with gorilla while
In that far.of rountry. said be-.
The evening train hld arrived at
Lorenzo Marques. pC'aeol BAY. on
schedule time. But what uirht II
was. the rain came down as u the very
heavens were falling, Che wind blow %
terrific yale and the darkness which
ovcraprond the whole scene was such
as had never wltncual before u
was. however. a nttiur night TO ire cx.
pOrl,uce which followed stepping
from what the Netherlands Railroad
Company term o nrai-c.lss carriage.
accosicd hoavy-sct individual on the
platform can You tell HIo sir. which
~ the hest hotel OF This place. asked
We'll. stranger Dc remarked. That
81 hardly o fair question To- ask me. a.
/ own both the hotels in this place
II turned over my Eup 90 him AID
. followed q crowd OF Africans through
that tropical storm Dinner was served
al, the international ho'ol but my per
mnncnt headquarters vo.o 20 be- at the
/ Central both of these Icing owned by
Jim Carpenter the person met at the
| station. After dinner an omployc Of the
I hotel asked me " ! was ready TO 90
TO the Central ! replied In the at
| frmatiyc. lie went 10 the door. and
above thadin Of wind and rain could be
heard his voice yelling 'Sixpenccr
My belief was that this Individual
was singing out to some of the natlvcH
that n aixponce Job was waiting for any
Of them who would take me to the
Central hotel. but q proved TO bo the
peculiar name Of an East African ne.
gro. 'SiXpcncc came with q 'yap
boas' II seemed as he came that a sec
ton Of that black night was moving
bodily toward me The Instruction was
10 keep close To SlNponco.'
The route was through n large gar
den. We had hardly entered the garden
Enclosure when o. terrific scream was
heard. and at tho same time ! was
struck on the head. In nn instant had
my revolver out and fr5d nj my I'M
known nf1ailant My enemy grnppled
with me. but before losing my hold Of
the revolver managed 20 FIRE two moro
shots but II was an uneven fight
received another blow on the head. rem
dcring me unconscious. when re-
gained consciousness, which was three
days later. | learned that my firing Of
the revolver had attracted the attcn-
ton Of an American who was known
at Delngon BAY ns Texas wilson lie
told me that he ran out Of his house
with his gun aud lantern. and had
hardly gone 200 yards when he came
across n huge gorilla carrying me on
his back The gorilla scowlcd at him
but he was determined 10 try to rescue
me from that brute After taking q
careful aim he managed TO shoot the
animal without hitting me. and killed
him. Then he brought me to the hotel
whore | afterward was Informed that
n big gorilla had been sent TO Jim
Carpenter three days previous. lie ha,
been tied TO n tree In the garden. bu
somehow must have broken his chair
and was waiting for the fret conner. I
was Carpenters intention TO send tn
gorilla to the Manchester (England
Geological garden as a present. Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

In an address full OF facts and figures
concerning the resources OF the south
ex-senator Patrick Walsh OF Georgia
makes this surprising statement: ALA
bama alone has more coal and iron and
ten times as much standing timber as
the state Of Pennsylvania" The pur-
pose OF this illustration was TO show
the future manufacturing development
OF the south.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

A French engineer has thought It
worth while TO calculate the waste en-.
erRy OF the great avalanche Of Gemmi.
In the Alps, which fell last September,
lie makes Il i.4OO million metre tons,
or, roughly, three times the same mum
Der OF foot tons; that is to say, the en-.
ergy needed 10 lift some three billion
tons foot high. The fall lasted a
minute and in that time developed
about million horse power, II the
energy could have been turned into elec.
trio current II would have fed 90, 900 To-
candle power incAndeseent lamps Eve
hours day duringH whole year
Chicago Record
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

For ages the slang phrase or It's
equivalent, ''in the soup" has In one
form or another been In use among the
Germans. "He sits In the soup" In
used to indicate the situation OF a man
in misfortune by his own fault HE
has made a nice soup for himself IS
used to indicate ludicrous or ridicu-
lous position In which one is placed by
himself.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

"llcr father Is not what you would
call well read man." said one foreign
gentleman to anothor
"No Ills library consists OF only
two hooks Hut they sulice.'
"What are thoy?"
"l.unl; book and check book, -
Washington Star.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22
Half Fare Escursions via the wabash.

Half Fare ENrursions VIA the WAbnsh,
The short line 10 - Louis, and quick route
East or South,
ATr.l 2ist and May bth. Excursions 20
AL points south at one fare for tho round
trip with e. " ndded.
JUNE 10th,
National Republican Convention at St.
Louis
JULY I'd,
National Educational Association at
Buffalo
JULY 9Th,
Christian Endeayor Convention at
Washington.
JULY Find,
National People and Silver Convention at
ST Louis.
For rates time tables and further infor-
nation, call at the Wabash ticket office,
l4l5 Farnam b., Paxton Hotel block, or
write Gro. n. CIAYToS.
n, W. Pass. ACT, Omaha, Eoh.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22
SPANS AEROLITE.
RECENTLY FELL IN THE VtCiNi-
TY OF MADRID.


HE Spanish news
papers that have
reached this coun
try In the last mail
are full OF details
OF the bursting Of
the big aerolite
oyorNadrld recent
ly The phcnomc-
non that so greatly
frightened Madrid
and other place.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22
netwcen lln.tnn Infnnt..

Emerson Jagged 5)--"Ilavc you not
been charmed by the accuracy OF pro.
portion In Gulliycr's Trnvcls?'
Winthrop Jagged =, with n superior
airl--"ludced, no Those sharp sight.
ed. diminutiye individuals. the Lilipu-
tians. should have been the FIRST to dis.
cover microbes Truth.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

As for doing the hair up, think over
all the styles OF coiffurcs you ever saw.
and then In front OF mirrors, by the
aid OF which you can see the front,
baslS and both sides OF the head, try
first one and then the other style--low,
high, wide, narrow, smooth bands,
crinkles, temple locks, middle part,
pompadour, figure eights, Hat braids,
etc, etc and when you have hit upon
the one that makes the head and face
conform most nearly to n graceful
Ideal, adopt that for your distinctive
stile and cling to II, though empires
fall
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

An eastern king, the Inaum Of Mus
cat, has In his collection pearl worth
Sls5, 900. Weighing 1914 oarats, Through
II the daylight can be seen.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22


A. the West is. 90 Is often mullrluus. hut &c
BE- PHEASANT To- know that competent afc-
guard Doe the shape ~ lio,tcttcrs stomach
hittrrs exists, which absolutely nullics the
poison 81 minsmn Western bound emil
grants should ncar this ln mind Nor should
DO hy FORGOTTEN. the littofs b. sterling RENE
ton. kidney aud nervous complaints uud
rheumatism
There b. mo- nri,tocrn,y 20 great ~ that
In n lite town
The mare me uses rnrLer's Gina~r Tante
ihr uIHfr NH Nl qualities .fHr NrnIr lu dis 81 ua
t"dt ihdlsratiHn palms aud otttI tnu OF NohAu o..
The most finished literary product has
no charm for the proof reader
Walking wauld aurn b. - pleasure
Wrfr "a NO. tuf the Cu us INUsH posts arr easily
moved with iiindcruufus o. Al dmssists
Tho poorest cyclist often has tho finest
cycling suit
mrs -Alrsrorreifrret, ~. kinc's Greet
NerNr Nsstursr. tIiaafitr Soc ufttUa1 auiu.
fhsaaet. hyudtou r. Kiln, ~ Af,utt. luiia., la
The knife Of tho guillotino Il weighted
with 100 pounds Of lead
There Is no temptation for n man to
wear skirts
~ tho naby IL cutting Teeth.
a. sure and ufs hstoii end vsniflcd fsmedy urA
wnslov's soounso stutr for Chiiircn rcethins.
Billiard table, secondhand. for sale
cheap AMY 20 or address, n. g. AKIN,
on T. 18th 81, Omaha, Neh
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

My doctor said ! would die, but Pisos
Cure for Consumption cured me.-Amos
Kelnor, Cherry Valley, Ills, Nov. 20, p5.
The smaller tho soul tho bigger dollar
looks
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

H.g-man's Camphor lee with Olyeerine.
The original aud nniY genuine. Cures Chappsd Hands
anu race. Cold sofrs. &C. 4. u. Clark liavsn,CL
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

The man Who makes his own god always
has n little one.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

The mere anr us~s rnrkrr's Gina~r Tonic
ODE more ta Hui qualities NJ NcnIrdin dis I'll ua
,uds indlsystiH 10. palms aud c,ofi tind vi woasu
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

PonObscOt means THE rock river"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

The most finished literary product has
no charm for the proof reader
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

W. N. u, oMAHA-17-lso0
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

Walking wauid au-n b. - pleasure
Wrfr NO. iur tupCu ua 1lusH posts arr easily 70
motcd with iilndcruUfus o. At dnHsiats.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

The poorest cyclist often has tho finest
cycling suit
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1896-05-22

.uTs -AutfsfturUfIffHrr tt ur. kttne's Crest
NerNe NssturUr. hufIlaautr SOC ufttUaN uir.
haf'tluus TREATISE aub setfslltuitir fft g.
iittaaea. hyuut ur. kuut. VI Af,hbt. iAi.., 10
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-03-23
Otherwise.

An enthusiastic state immigration
convention was held at Helena, Mont.
Revivals at Anderson, Ind, have
made some of the converts insane.
Perrine's comet goes out of sight,
never ITO return.
Ground has been broken for the
Methodist university at Washington.
Debs' case was nolled in the United
States court in Chicago.
The National Reform party was or
ganized at Pittsburg.
President Van Horn of the Canadian
Pacific, denies that his road is seeking
an independent entrance to New York.
The Rev DR. Brown was unable to
attend the trial before the Congrega-
tionaa trial of San Francisco, and his
attorney announced that he was Serl-
ously ill. and it is feared his brain Us
affected.
1t is proposed in Nebraska to have
the Democratic voters settle the silver
question at primary election. and
have the delegates to the national con-
ventiOn instructed according to the re
suit.
The official crop bulletin for March
says that Michigan wheat is in first
class condition, having "wintered" ex-
ceptionaIly well. Considering the short
hay crop of last season. live stock is
also wintering remarkably well.
An organization known as the IA
tional Association of Emballners las
had it's birth at Pittsburg. One Of the
principal objects is to force under
takers to raise prices for embalming,
and to keep their prices uniform all
over the country.
David X. Watson was nominated by
the Republicans for congress in the
Twelfth Ohio district which is usually
Democratic, Mr.. Watson breaking the
record by defeating Mr.. Cultivate
during the political landslide two years
ago.
The general fund of Yale university
will be increased by 100000, a sum
that was set aside in the will of the
late Thomas B. Sloane Of New York.
Mr.. Sloane left his Battery property to
his wife on condition that should she
marry again the property would revert
to Yale The announcement of her en-
gagement to Mr.. Barclay and that the
wedding will take place soon, will de-
prive her Oh the use of the property.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-03-23
Peo,Ie ,pn1ke0 ABOUT.

archbishop Kenrick was buried with
Imposing ceremonies: at st. Louis.
Martin Van Brochlin, a well known
engineer, once Capt. Eads' right-hand
man. died in North Platte, Neb.
Mrs. Cecilia Baker, wife of George
C. Baker and director in the Tuesday
Musical club, died at Denver from the
rupture of a blood vessel in her brain.
Aaron Beans, who had ten children.
twenty-five grandchildren and thirty
mine great-grandchildre all of whom
are living except two, died at Akron,
Ohio, aged ninety-nine years.
Chief Justice Charles Doe, offthe SUI
preme court of New Hampshire, was
stricken with paralysis in the depot ut
Rollinsford, n. H, and died almost in
sStantly.
Nathan Tampkins, aged ninety years,
dieH,at (1aIesburg, Mich, on farm he
purchased from the government in
1886. Andrew jackson signed the
deed.
Mrs. Chauncey Ives Filley, wife of
the prominent Republican leader, died
in st. Louis, after an illness of one
week, of pneumonia. She was sixty
five years of age, the couple having Gel
ebrated their forty-first wedding ami
vUrSary.
Edgar Wilson Nye's will has been
admitted to probate. 1t is very short.
being written on two sheets OF note
paper in his own Handwriting, signed.
sealed and properly witnessed. He
leaves al! his property to his wife, IN
fec simple, and she is made eAecutriX
of the will. The value of the estate IS
not estimated.