Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1896-01-26
AND so THEY WE'RE WE'D.
An Interesting Story of a Novel Wager

winters you know, when il used to snow
and the weather,was cold. Just the sort
of day too, when the poet or novelist
sits in close conjunction to a bronze-col-
ored steam pipe and writes of merry logs
cracking on the observation-disclosures heard a
log laugh. anyhow? Don't for PHYS sake,
tell me about the bork of a log. for that is
a funny joke and liable to be branded
the bark of log-not the joke-as wooden.
l sit alone in my room. A queer place
that room. 1 take out a book from TIE
bookcase, place two pencils, an ink bottle
ana cigar stub on the centre table. and
my room is studio. / add box of water
|, colors TO the collection on the table and il
is my drawing room. I next place a vol
ume of Baron Munchausen-s works on the
rable-and 10 and behold it is my library.
l whisk the entire collection off the table
replacing it with photos of father and
Aunt Maria, and thus transform it into
parlor and ante-room. OF course, as I sit
down my imagination tells me it is a sit
ting room, and so ad naus.
Hello! Visitorsi for me? Send EN- up
please. So now I just throw this tidy
over that stuffed hair pillow! up goes the
folding bed, and it is a beautiful upright
piano, and why, how do you do. and how
do you do, and how do you do! So pleased.
delighted, entranced. enraptured. tickeIed
to death to see you. Pleasant death. you
say? Yes, horrid day. And you came all
the way up from to pay me a call in
this dreadful weather? Delighted en-
tranced, enraptured, more than pleased TO
see you. Not going to stay? Not even
take off your wraps? But do No? So
disappointhed-dash cup of pleasure from
lips-blawst hopes-happy anticipations.
Just called to tell me that Ethel Is going
to be-what, married! Such a surprise!
Who would lRve thought-but. of course,
it was to be'expected. And to Mr.. Van
Damp-of all the-charming-fello SO
good of you girls. And 1. I'm to be-be-
b-b-bridesmaid! on you new woman
a joke. I see. You mean best man? Well,
of all the surprises! How comes it that
you, Miss Van Damp. act in your broth
er's stead? most charming fellow, I as
sure you. and 1 shall only be too happy,
and 1 shall-er-er-what? Make prepara-
tons at once? The wedding to-day? Wen.
of all the quandaries, No dress suit re-
surely you'll let me put on my coat. Yet?
Thank youi
And before I have time to completely
gathermy wits and wearing apparel, my
studio, drawing room. parlor, anteroom,
sitting room and library is locked. and I
am out in the street. trudging through the
deep snow with a lady on each arm, my
high hat jabbed down over my eyes. and
a decided wish-I-hadn't look on my fair
sissy-lean countenance.
Ii is but four squares to the Van Damp
residence. and we arrive there GREATNESS
and as gas as can he expected considering
cold feet, I puzzled, the ladies beaming
with expectancy. It all took place, sure
enough and was soon enough over. Van
Damp. looking, I thought most unhappy,
mumbled through his part. Ethel went
through hers like a man woman. and a
kissing set-to took place after the cere-
mony. in which even I took a hand.
Then the wedding breakfast-at p. NJ
and then, and not till then, explanations.
you see says Van Damp, 1T all grew
out of bet"
"All?" asks Ethel, arching her eyebrows.
unheeding. sis a sportive creature. Mn
som l. Ethers no chump. M-m-so'm l.
Well, yesterday. made a wager with
Ethel: or rather Ethel made wager with
me. We got to talking somehow about
bicycles. and then about horses. and then
about racehorses, and then I said it was
5000 hard to beat them. Not the bicy-
cles. Ethel said she didn't think much of
a man that would beat horses. but when
I explained to her what II meant she
thought it was too delightfully."- delicious
to mediate upon. I'll bet I can beat
Them she said-and-and I took her up.
The wager was in case I won I was to
have her hand. and in case I lost she was
to have my heart. That looked to me to
be fair to both of us, and she agreed to
the bet.
well, got a copy of the Morning Mer-
curry with the New Orleans entries and
was It fair?-I let her do the picking.
You see she insisted that it was remark
ably easy and besides as my knowledge
'of the game was far. far greater than hers,
iu would not be fair to have me do the Sc
lecting. so we agreed upon one race. The
fourth race. And what do you think the
arch kitten did? There were eight entries.
Now, said I, you cannot pick the WIN
ner.' So she wrote out on a slip-guess
what-why the entire eight entries,
SAYING that the winner was certainly i'm
the lot. What do you think of that for
a shrewd woman? Isn't that the bonny
sort of a bright wife to havoc
Van Damp paused here to see what
effect the story had upon me.
I scalped an olive, thought deeply, |
carved the moulding off a chicken ero-
ouette. meditated some more and then
spoke. 80,
eyes"
"Well-er-er-it's all right. But |
why were you in such an extreme hurry |
to get married. if it's fair question?
Van Damp blushed and stammered
and Ethel stammered and blushld ana /
then both of them said together:
"Well. you see, it was an added start
or that wonr-Sunday q. " Mercury.
ANOTHER SILVER SENATOR.
Omaha. Neb., January 25.-Un-tea
{. a+oz Senators-elect Frank j. Cannon
+h- rpr- state OF