St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-02-22
HE WAS e.A.E.O,
This Man From the Gila, HUT He Could NJ
Fool the Sheriff.

Fool the Sheriff.
Three or four of US were sitting on
the steps of the Jail building, which
faced the principal street of the from
tier town, aud the sheriff was telling
derer, when a raw-boned man, mount
ed on raw-boned r1ulc. rode up and
dismounted directly in front Of us
II am the bad man from the Giis
river: When I'm let alone l am rs
tender-hearted and peaceful as little
baby, and anybody kin borrow my
guns or take off my butea But when
I'm riled-oh! great guns! when I'm
riled thar's no more holding me back
than trying tostop stampede of 1O. .OC0
steers! Whoop! Waughv
rs there going to be row here?"
asked one of the crowd to the sheriff.
"Oh, no." he replied, with a glance
at the man and went ON with his
story. A minute later the man in the
street pulled off his coat and jumped
in and yelled:
''The Gila is full of alligators and liz
ards, but / SWAN it every morning!
The water is pizen fer wolves and pan.
theirs, but drink it by the gallon! My
father was poor man, but he left me
this yere knife which had bled dozen
buffers. My mother couldn't read nor
write, but she brung me up to fear
nothin' on the face of the earth.
Whoop! Whar's the critter-the cow
ardly, thievin', lynn sarpent-who put
tar on my left ear while slept?'
That mans dangerous!" / said to
the sheriff, as l looked around for q
place of safety.
.Oh, no. he isn't" he replied, not
even looking toward him; and again
he continued his interrupted narrative.
He had talked about half minute
when the bad man pulled off his vest
and the handkerchief around his neck
and flung them on the pile and shouted:
waugh! Whoop! They put rattle
snakes in my bed, but / slept on like
baby! They put centipedes in my hat,
but the critters dasn't bite! The light
ming tore up the earth all around me.
bu: l wasn't hit! cum down the lett
bank of the Gila on a thunderbolt, but
was feelin' good-natured and
wouldn't hev hurt fly. A boy could
hev led me by the nose till found this
tar on nv ear. Who dun it? Let the
critter stand forth and meet his doom"
lies certainly getting ready to
.hootv' / said to the sheriff, ''and we'll
be his first targets!"
"Oh, guess not" calmly replied the
official Did you say you saw the &c
- IN %hn
natl papers?'
Before / could answer him the bad
man drew two guns, jumped up and
down and yelled ''Waugh!' and then
added:
.sHev I got to kill and bury this hull
town to find the crittcr who tarred my
ear? Won't he step forth? Won't he
be 80 kind and condescendin' and ever.
lastingly good as to face me for the
millionth part Of a second? I'm suf-
ferin'. I'm in pain. If I can't find the
human hyena who reached under the
wagon with tar on a stick"
The sheriff got up and walked over
to him. He took the gun out OF his
right hand and flung it down, and he
took the gun out of his left hand and
tossed it after the other. Then he
grabbed the bad man by the shoulder,
wheeled him around, give him lift"
with his knee ard said:
''Now, yo' go of and sleep some
sense into yo' head, or I'll use yo' for
. club to hit hogs"
The bad man went. He didn't even
look back. The official picked up the
pieces of clothing and guns, tucked
them under his arm and came over to
us, and as he sat down he said:
Now, then. if some other fool-crit-
ter don't come along I'll get through
with my story and we'll 60 and have .
drink!'-Detroit Free Press.