Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1896-06-19
rHE WORM TURNED
And When He Did It the Pale foung
1a Man Fled ISnominously. 5

AS tho accommodation train on the Z.
D. S. railroad (the S whereof appropriately
signiled SLOWLY snaiiad along its west
ward way, tho pale young man with tins
overhanging brow, which bClgel like the
she'll Of q swapping turtle, continued to
lean over the back Of the seat In front OF
him and drizzle facts, theories and stalls
tics, unselfshly plnckod from tho hotbet'
of his Enthusiastically, into tho Encicnt car
Of the humble weArer Of tho pepper and
salt raiment and fringe of whiskers, which
looked as II they might have been hacked
with pair Of dull skates from the hump
Of a superannunted camel
After having exhausted the tariff, money
and silve0 questions, the intellectual young
man elucidated In dstail the theories OF
evolution and transoendentnlism, the Ber:
tillon system of measuring criminals, the
Monroe doctrine, the aurora borealis and
sugar beet culture. His nearer sighed ro-
signedly and nnsw cred him nothing. l6
The possessor Of the bulging brow
hooked his chin over the back of the seat
and spake on. He described the method of
operating for appendicitis, dwelt upon the
theory Of the contagion of crime, jumped
over into Symlne's Hole, touched up the
apogee, dealt firmly with the now woman
problem, explained the modus operandi OF
frittering away the golden hours Of life
with golf and quoted copiously from the
early poems of Alfred Austin. The wearer
of tho fringed whiskors began to squirin
like toad il a hot skillet. ,*
Tempus continued to fugit as If both
wings were broken and tho brain CURSED
young man babblcd on. He exhausted the
subject of the Pingreo potato patches, and
his calculation Of the Rocntgen light was
still inchoate when his prey suddenly
stopped wriggling. =.
You pear to be pretty we'll posted for
young man," said tho wearer of the pep
per and salts, turning around and inter.
rupting the flow Of his follow traveller S
eloquenco. AN thore arc few little
things I've been sLudyin over lately that
I'd like to ask you about. F'rinstance, I
wish you would tell me, if you know why
it is, how some people can wigglo their
cars by contraotin the muscles of their
scalps an others can't?' gN
well, really, II stammcrcd the
"Oh, it don't matter much. .Jost
thought I'd ask, you know. Eut If you
can tell Inc how much Of q snake is body
an how much is tail, I'd like it first rate"
"I-lo not know" &
"Well, no matter. srose l can find
out somewhere else. But there's another
thing that has bothered no Il good deal,
ono timo an another, IN if you Gun eluci-
dato it, So to speak, you'll DO dom mo 4
great an lastin favor. If q man of SO
niarries a girl of II, an his son 1narries
the girls mother, all q boy baby is in due
time born to each couple, what relation is
the old man to his first son, an his sons
son, an his own wife, an lis sons wife, an
to himself? An what relation is tho young
man to tho cid man, an tho Old mans
wife an infant son, an also to his own
wife, an himself, m his own son2 An
what relation are the women to each othor
an themselves an every other member Of
the party? An WHAT g. ~
But the possessor of tho bullying brow
had risen without begging to be excused.
and, with a dazed look on his intellectual
face, was making his way rapidly toward
the next car. The train srailed onward,
and the wearer of the fr.nged whiskers re-
marked, half aloud as he turned to gaze
out of the window: Nj s2&
II wisli hold waited long enough for
me to hnvo asked him if there has ever
been discovered n suro an reliable euro for
warts "-Truth. 49,. >,&.