Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-01-23

Descending from the altar.
New York Herald.
my husband and / are to have our
portraits painted" by battle paint
er."-New York Times.
II am going to Venezuela. You may
never see me again." "Then lend me
ten dollars. York Times.
The Bachelor-It's easier to break.
things than to make them. The Engag-
ed Man (dubiously)-I don't know about
hat.-Phidadelphia Record.
Teacher-What is the chief end of
man? Pupil-The barber thinks it Is
the head, but the bootblack thinks 1t
il the feet-Boston Transcript.
He-Where there's so much smoke
there must be some fire! She-But it Is
not on that end Of the cigarette where
the smoker is-Boston Transcript.
Good resolutions Charlie. are great
thing on the first Of the new year."
''Yes, i know, Jack; but they get to be
an old story on the second."-Judge.
What remarkable head of hair
YOUR boy has, Mrs. Ruggleson! Eyes,
but it's all wasted. He just won't learn
TO play the piano."-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Shopleigh-Is it any trouble to
you to show goods? Mr.. Cashcall-No,
ma'am. But it's a good deal of trouble
to sell them sometimes."-New York
Herald.
Salesman-Do you want to have your
fioxr
Certainly, if you can find
q particular express. / caRt.-Roxbury
Gazette
Old Bullion-What! YOu wish to
marry my daughter? She is a mere
school girl yet. Suitor-Yes, sir. I
came early to avoid the rush-New
York. Weekly.
with these bacilli in kiss,
With caution rare, they say,
She kept q spray of mistletoe
To shoe the germs away.
Washington Star.
''By George, if were in your place."
said the officious friend, I'D apply for
divorce" I'D like to-" admitted Mr..
n. Peck, ''but she won't let me."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Mistress can't say that you were
always respectful, Bridget; still will
put it In the recommendation Bridget
| Thank you, ma'am. An IN say the
same thing Nv you.-Truth.
He-Yes; was out ,sleighing. And
| froze all my fingers. She (who wasn't
along)-I don't see how a young man
can get the fingers on both hands fro
! zen.-IndianapoIis Journal.
Miss, PASSED. understand you do
pictures. Photographer-Yes, miss; but
Ilcould make natural likeness Of you.
IL you prefer it.-Philadelphia Record.
How did Miss Jones become liter
airy success so suddenly" 'Oh. she hit
on such q charming idea she wrote one
chapter of novel and let the public
guess the other forty,nine. Chicago
Record.
Chappie-I'm really deuced anxious
tu.know what the new woman is going
to do this leap year. Miss Cutting
DON'T worry. They won't be likely to
trouble anyone but the men.-New York
! Herald
What have you in the past year won
That you at Others faults should scoff
You find that in the year you've done
Most all things that you swore of.
Judge.
"This talk Of war is absurd, isn't it?'
don't know about that" do you
think there is anything in it?" t.'Well,
+ notice that PonsOnby has quit dyeing
his hair, and that he is walking with
a caner'-Chicago Record.
I4orraine-Do you like Masie? She's
SO terribly brusque! Dora-Ne: can't
always together? Dora-O! Her bad
manner brings out my good one more
strongly.-ChicagO Tribune.
Crummer-That is the poet Lather-
brush. He is a great advocate of purity.
| Gilleland-Indeed! l don't remember
seeing any Of his work. drummer
You certainly must. He writes soap
advertisements.-Ch Record.
Willey-Itell you It's better in the end
to be honest. Did you ever know a
rogue who wasn't unhappy? Shalley-
No; but, then, one would hardly expec,
a rogue to be happy when he is known.
-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
(which do you love most, your papa
or your mammaT Little Charlie-I love
papa most. Charles mOther-Why
Charlie, thought you loved me most
Charlie-Can't help 1t, mamma. We
men must hold together.-Ph iladelphis
Times.
Needleson-Yes, We think great deal
Of that parrot. l wouldn't take hun
dred dollars for him. Pinns-He ISM
very handsome, but suppose he's an
excellent talker. mo, he Is not much
given to talking" Won't talk p
"Can't"-Chicago Tribune.
Dealer-A diary for ninety-six? Per
haps this new style will suit you. Gus
tomer-Rather small, isn't It? Why. 4,
stops with January 10! DeaIer-Yes. !,
L. very compact-does away with the
unnecessary bulk of paper that you
find In the old-fashioned diaries.-
Judge.
A Word with Pedigree.
1