davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
THOUGHT THEY'D BETTER PLAY.
bedate Passengers Reluctantly Consented
to Handle Cards.

bohSNO AobGABCEb NOHbCnLCu
to Handle Cards.
A man "a always get what he goes
after in the right way. One day, on the
Union Pacific overland train, n little
episode occurred which proved his
plainly.
A big fellow who had, as we after
wards learned, come down from the
Oregon horse country, and who was on
his way home, wearied, worn, and al
most delirious with the tedium of the
travel through the party, bare buttes
of Wyoming, rose from his seat at the
fur end of the Pullman, and awkward
ly working his way up the car, stopped
at the elbow of the first man along the
aisle. This was IN ecclesiastical look
ing parsonage, and the rough-looking
fellow beloved at him:
"Podner, will you play a game of
sixty-six ?"
The other smiled and murmured q
de~clination, w~hereupon, with a disap-
pointed look the horseman addressed
the next male passenger with the re-
quest hat he play sixty-six. Another
refusal, and n further showing of cha
grin, were followed by application to a
III aid AOuA Ill AN u hlSh AlAhh ONO
whole car had been canvassed. At the
last negntive answer the big fellow
turned and looked down the aisle de-
sparingly. Then, steadying himself by
the backs of two seats. he roared:
Scents, this here's q calamity. /
s'pose p'raps 7 look like a pickpocket or
sunthin' IN ye're all afenred o. playin'
weth me. I amt. I'm q deacon in the
Hokolopc church an mayor o. Hoko-
lope. Only trouble Nth me is that
when TN disap'nted I has epileptic fits,
an I shoots an cuts an bites an
gouges dreadful to see, an humiliatin'
besides. I don't have them fits only
when I amt humored, an a game o.
sixty-six always drives away the inclt-
nation. But none O. you wants to play
sixty-six, an SO they's nothin' to do
but have my At. I think the best plan
nd be for the ladies to git into another
chr, an fer the gents to crawl under
seats. fer I do provokin' things when I
can't git no one to play sixty-six an
has to have a 1T Git read"
Hold oni Heyi Stop It'll" shrieked
the ecclesiastical parsonage. Il have
been wishing to play sixty-six for three
weeks and woefully misunderstood you
when you asked me-"
And for eight hours thereafter the rest
of the men stood in line waiting to re-
lieye one another at the card table so
as TO be sure that the game OF sixty-six
shouldiLct be interrupted long enough
for the. shooting and biting inclina-
tious of the epileptic to get worked up.
Chicago Record
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
A NEW ECONOMY.
What o Travelling Man Discovered at .
Kansas Hotel

What . Travelling Man Discovered At q
Kansas Hotel
The travelling man who always "Sun-
days" in Kansas City when in the vicin-
ity because his best girl lives there, was
in q cheerful frame of mind and told
all the stories he knew. One of them
Is, perhaps, worthy of record:
Last Wednesday," said he, 81 was
in a little town down in Kansas Itook
lunch at the only restaurant in
the town. I ordered q dish of strawber-
ries, and the waiter brought me a heap
ing plate of them. Fine berries they
were, too. Twas surprised at the liberal
quantity served, and said So"
Cheapest thing we've got said the
waiter.
"When 1 got ready to eat them I
looked around for the powdered sugar.
The waiter came to me and said: Want
powdered sugar?' I said 1 did. and
he went away and came back with a
little powder gun, such as they fire
insect powder out of, from which he
squirted sugar over and into the ber-
ries.
Powdered sugars mighty high
said he, an berries be mighty cheap.
We generally sugar the berries our
selves when they ask for sugar.
That's a new one on me- saysI.
"'Well, the BOSS Is mighty close says
the waiter, an has got TO cut corners
TO make a livin'. Some hogs used to
come in here and put spoonfuls of sugar
on q plate Of berries. an SO he thinks
up this scheme"
The powder gun has it's advan-
tages when one ponders on the econom
ical Kansan's method, because it squirts
the sugar into the crevices and puts
some sugar on the top berry instead Of
all the sugar on the top berries.-Kan-
sas City Times.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03

Women are the real heroes of the
world. Thousands on thousands of them
endure the dragging torture of the ills
peculiar to womankind in the silence of
home. They suffer on and on-weeks,
months, years. The story of weakness
and torture is written III the drawn
features, in the sallow skin, in the list
less eyes, in the lines of care and worry
on the face.
Unborn modesty seals their lips. They
prefer pain to humiliation. Custom has
made them believe the only hope Of
relief lies in the exposure of examina-
ton and "loca1 treatment"
Take ten cases of ''female weakness"
and in nine of them '1oca1 treatment"
is unnecessary, There is no reason why
modest, sensitive women should sub
NIT to it. EUcEU PEE
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
MASTER N PUPIL.
a Litsls sszAbbls That Had . Hansroua
EndlnK

a Lissls B~4uAbbls That Had . HunSrSul
Ending.
Apropos OF the discussion In France
Of Q proposition to abolish the bach,
elor's degree and some of the examina-
tions hat go with 1t, some stories are
told Of famous examiners in the col
leges. One of tho most redoubtable OF
these wac the elder Ampere, the IA
mous man of science, who was for g
time Q professor in the College OF
France,
Ampere was kind-hearted to a fault,
but eccentric; and the eTratic char
acter of his examinations made them q
sort of q show, to which people resort
ed as to al entertainment
Though kind, he was hot-tempered.
and occasionally gave way to out
bursts Of which he instantly repented.
Once, at an examination, some mis-
taken response of a student led him
to lose his temper and to exclaim TO the
youth: you are q donkeyl"
The student was as hot-blooded as
he. 'It's you who are the donkeyi"
he shouted back.
By this time Ampere's anger was all
gone, and the philosopher and gentle
man aAserted himself. Perhaps Il is
perhaps 1t Is" he answered, but,
nevertheless, / imagine that. II you be-
gin your demonstration anew. you will
recognize the fact that you are uks-
taken"
The student recommended his dem
o~nAtration, and under this temperate
admonition he discovered his mistakes
and acknowledged that he was wrong,
"And now, my dear boy" said the
professor, "you e that I am not q
donkey, and that you are not one,
either. I had no right to call you by
the name Of that animal-which, how
ever. Is 30 patient, calm. faithful and
laborious @ creature that I am not sure
but IL was he whom you and I were in
sulting just now, and not each otheri"
YOUTHS Companion.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
TRUSTEES SALE.


Whereas, Isabella Mountjoy and George N
Mountjoy, her husband, by their certain deed
eighteen hundred and eIRhty-eiaht. and ne.
corded In the recorders Office OF Lafayette
county. Missouri, in deed book 81, at page 40I,
follOwing described real estate, situate. lying
and being in Lafayette county. Missouri.
to-wit; That certain lot or parcel of land adj
joining the addition to the town OF Lexington
NOW city, commencing at an oak stake on tho
Morgan Day and wife in June, Is1l. to John h.
Bennett, the said stake being on South street.
nearly opposite the southeast corner of the
thence ON the line OF said street westwardIy
sixty-seven C6D feet to a stake on the north
and wife in June, 1874, 10 George soIstef;
thence running south from said street four
hundred and fifty t450l feet to a stake on said
Soister's southern line; thence east sixty
seven (6D feet to a stake, being the southwest
e1rner or said lot sold by said Day 70 said
four hundred and fifty N50) feet to a stake at
the beginning point; said lot hereby described
William bowman and wife TO Alfred Jones,
trustee for Mary Il. Bowman. wife of John p.
Bowman, b. deed dated December 3lst. Isll.
and recorded in deed book ~" on page sO2. of
the records of Lafayette county, and also
being the same lot conveyed to Isabella
Alfred Jones, trustee, and Mary L. Bowman.
by deed dated February 18th. lsa2. and recorded
IN the recorders Office of said Lafayette
county. in book No. So, at page lao; which
said deed was made I'm trust to secure the pay
m'ht ol I'VE certain prom lSSury notes In SAID,
deed described; and whereas, default has
been made Ia the payment OF one of said
notes, and the same with interest thereon re-
mains due and unpaid; and whereas, John
Reid AorclaIid, the trustee named In said deed
of trust, being dead; and whereas. IL Is pro-
vided In said deed OF trust. that In case OF the
death of said j. Reid Moreland, the powers
vested in him by said deed of trust should de-
volve on and be executed by the acting sheriff
of said county; now. therefore,. this Is 10 give
notice that j, the undersigned. Zach W..
Wright. the acting sheriff OF Lafayette county,
Missouri. by virtue OF the powers In me vested
under said deed of trust. authorizing me 60
act In the place of said trustee. In case OF his
death, and pursuant To the provisions of said
deed of trust, and Mt the request of the legal
holder and owner of one OF said notes, l will,
on
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20, 1896,
between the hours OF nine O'Clock In the fore
noon and Ave O'Clock in the afternoon OF said
day, at the court house door. in the city OF
Lexington, Lafayette county,. Missouri, oner
for sale and sell at public yendue, 10 the high
est bidder, for cash In hand, the said property
above described, for the purpose of paying the
amount due upon said note, together with the
costs and expenses of said trust and sale.
Given under my hand this 18th day of Sep
TENDER, 1895. ZACH. w. WRIGHT.
9-l9-5t Sheriff aud Trustee.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03

The sea tug Thomas j. Smith, of Phil
adelphia, was rendered almost helpless
for a time the other day by getting into
a tremendous school of bluefish. She
could not steer, and when her propeller
was worked ahead or a~stern, the blood
of the fish slashed by its sharp blades
spouted up, coloring the water all about
the tugs hull. The middle of the school
was held together by the outer edges
pushing toward the center. As the tug
got into the thickest part of the school
she almost stopped, and it was impos-
sible to handle her. Hundreds were
ground up by the propellers. Sudden
ly, as daylight dawned, they dispersed,
and their fiuttering in the Wis
ible for miles.-N. Y. Tribune.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
Isisuue of CLANS.

Mince two dozen hard-sheIl CLANS
very fine. Fry half a minced onion in
an ounce of butter; add to it a pint of
hot water, n pinch of mace, four cloves,
one allspice and six whole pepper
corns. Boil IS minutes and strain into
n saucepan; add the chopped CLAIMS and
a pint OF clam juice or hot water; sim
mer slowly W. hours, strain and rub
the pulp through a sieve into the liquid.
Return it TO the saucepan and keep it
lukewarm. Doll three half pints of
milk in asaucePan previously wet with
cold water, which prevents burn:ng)
and whisk it into the soup. Dissolve a
teaspoonful of flour in cold milk; add
it to the soup; taste for seasoning; heat
it gently to near boiling point; pour it
into q tureen previously heated with
hot water, and serve with OF without
pieces OF fried bread-called croutons
in kitchen French.-N. Y. Mercury.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
The nervous system Is weakened By the u/N W&l
Neuralgia Torture. :,

She purchased n series of cheap re-
prints of popular novels. These she
invariably brought out to accommodate
her borrowing friends. Her more val
books h kept IN h library
shelves for the use of the chosen few
who understood the value of books. By
a judicious investment OF a small sum
for n lending" library of a few vol
umes, she protected her precious sets
and special editions. In a village, where
one cannot be exclusive without SEEM
ing undemocratic, this is the cheapest
way in the cnd.AN. Y. Tribune.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03

pressed to his breast and the clock sthi
striking, ting, ting. He rode like old
Nick was utter him and never knew
the racket till he felt for his ticker
and ripped out the little clock that Bob
had bought a auction. Then be laughed
till the tears ran down his checks, but
he promised Bob never to spark another
woman if he'd only keep the joke from
the neighbors.
The widow believes to this day that
old man Bray is n walking volcano and
that his dead wife would set the bat
terry n-going if ever he went lei n
woman again to make love to her.-St.
Louis Republic.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
GRADUALLY Coming Around.

Edwina-How is Mr.. Blushman get
ting along? Has he proposed YETI
Edith-No but he's improving. The
frat night he came he held the album
In his hands all the evening, h e
ond night he had my pug dog in his
arms; last night he held Willie on his
lap for an hour. 1 have hopeA-N. Y.
Journal
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
WINE OF CARDUI

Is a vegetable Wine. 1t exertS a wonder
fully healing, strengthening and sooth-
ing influence over the organs of woman
kind. 1t invigorates and stimulates the
whole system. 1t is almost infallible in
curing the peculiar weaknesses, IRE
gularities and painful arrangements Of
oman Year after year., in the privacy
of home-away from the eyes of every.
body-it effects cures.
WINE OF CARDUI Is sold for sI.OO q
bottle. Dealers I'm medicine sell IT. Five
bottles usually care lIle worst cases.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03

Pip-A lawyers highest aim should
be to keep his clients out of law.
Flip-True, but the trouble is so many
of them are content to take n humber
view of the matter-Truth.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
GREAT eRITAIN.s cHeekINEss.
EaElishmen Themselves Seem to Partially
ReRrIze 1t.

III 10 nAO ooCAA -
Realize It.
We English go our own way, SO far as
we can see, with very little regard for
anybody's susc%eptibilities and we must
suffer other powers to go theirs, inter-
fering only when the injury becomes
serious enough TO require something
more dignihed than shriIl remon-
STRANGE. The other powers suspect Us
at least as holly as we suspect them
and with this extra Justification that
as they see quite clearly. our power
reaches everywhere, our broad road u
always open and though we protest
that. except as regards ships. we are q
feeble folk, yet whenever need arises In
Europe. Asia or Africa there are the
troops ready to march forward and. rs
a rule, execute their orders with tho
kind of precision that generals admire.
We " not little Engianders by any
al On the contrary, we hold that
the future of the world depends greatly
upon the strength of the British empire
and it's ability to take q leading part in
controlling and guiding Africa and Asiaj
but II we are to carry out such ideas az
we are now carrying out In eastern Az
RIGA we must suffer the equal powers OF
Europe to carry out theirs. 1t "a folly
to claim East Africa, as we are prao-
ticnliy doing, from Alexandria TO the
cape, and at the same time worry about
France on the Niger or Russia In north
ern Chinn and Mazanderan. We are get
ting into q position in which we seem 70
our neighbors to lie around the world
like the serpent of the Morse mythol-
ogy. and then we are angry because they
watch us jealously and Try to do little
enterprises on their own account,
1t Is like a quarrel among neighbors
about foot paths, and we cannot hon
estly say that 1t is we who display either
the patience or the feafessneas OF tho
best caste, much less the tranquility
of those who are sure alike of their
rigAts and of their power TO enforce
them. Fancy Great Britain on one day
summoning Sikhs to garrison Suakin
and on the next screaming around be-
cause a Russian ship-owning company
has bought some swampy land at Che
Foo and stopped or not stopped some
English owners access to the sea.-Lon-
don Spectator.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
Franklin Avenue is selling
John Powell.
Notice to Bridge Contractors.

MONDAY, IL, lS9b,
at IL o'clock a. m the construction of one
wooden frame bent bridge over Horse Shoe
creek, on road leading from FergusOn's school
house towards Independence. said bridge
will be two span, with eighteen foot juists.
Plans and specifications can be seen ut time
of letting, at site of bridge.
Contractors will he required to give bond,
with approved security, for contract and main
tenanCe, as required by law.
The right to reject amy or all bids IS re-
served, j. Is. GRAY,
gIgtd Commissioner.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
A LITTLE

An Undetermined Suicide - "Be
aisy. Pat, and you've bruk the lookIn'-
glassi How did yez do it?" "Shure,
an I tried to shoot myself in the glass
an bad luck to 1t, I missed myself!'-
Sydney Bulletin.
This. ladies and gentlemen. is the
celebrated trick mule Dot" said the
clown, as the beast was being led into
the ring. "After many years of effort,
I am able to say 1 can make him do any
thing he wants to."-Tt-Bits.
Talk about me not being of q for
giving NATURE" remarked Chalkey a.
he erased the score of the baseball
game from the blackboard; here I am
every day doing nothing but wiping out
cid scores."-Roxbury Gazette.
First Summer Girl-"You know
that fellow ! was engaged to last sum-
mer? He came down on n wheel, you
know" Second Summer Girl--YcsJ
he is here again this Year," First Sum-
mer Girl-"Yes; / saw him this morn
ing. He had four wheels this time.
They were on u baby caITiage."-Bos-
tom Transcript.
NO." said the rural voter, IT must
say I don't take stock in no schemes to
make money out o. nothin'." "But you
must admit that money Is very hard
get" "Yes. Moneys mighty shifty.
Els the old sayin' goes: Riches hez
wings.' But some o. thesa schemes
seems ter me like tryin' ter ketch 1t
by putin salt on its tail."-Waahing-
ton Star.
They don't have the melons now
that they did when you and I were
young" said the landlady to the Cheer
full Idiot, and the Cheerful Idiot, who
always resents any remarks about
his approaching middle age, said
sadly: az guess they don't have the
same melons now, but I do think they
have the same butter."-Indianapolis
Journal.
How He Explained It-He wasvery
.deferential. but he was a deacon In the
and he felt that he had q right
to criticise. II hope you'll pardon me-"
he said. "f I suggest that your ser
mons are-dh-" TOO prosy. I sup
pose" suggested the minister. "Oh, moi
not that. But too long" "But you
mustn't blame me for that" returned
tho minister, pleasantly. IF you knew
a little more. 1 wouldn't have to tell
you so much."-Chicago Pos.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03

According to the best authorities,
there are 3,424 known languages and
leading dialects, while local dialects not
worthy to be classed as languages bring
nm the number to nearly G 900.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
Iron bands Around the World.

When the Trans-Siberian railway il
completed in 1900 it will be possible for
q globe-trotter to encircle the globe in
80 days. Over the new route he will be
able 10 reach st. Petersburg from Lon
don In As hours and arrive at Port
Arthur In $50 hours.-Chicago Tribune.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03

AuIl & Wilson are headquarters for fine
teas and coffees. 4.25-tf
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-10-03
No Sign of IntelIectuaIitv.

No Sign of intellectually.
"Have you intellectual city people
with you this summer, Mrs. Bayview?'
"No; they all have frightful appe.
tites."-Chicapo Record.
The record-union., 1896-02-17
FUTURE OF MoRMONIsM."
Synopsis of Last Nights Address at
Pythian Castle.

Last evening at Pythian Castle a dis
course was delivered on THE Future of
Mormonism The speaker said that
he regretted the fact that erroneous
ideas are extant concerning the princi-
pies and practices of the Latter-Day
Saints. Even in public libraries Nor
mon publications are sometimes cata-
logued among nome Christian or nytho-
logical writings. The principles of
Mormonism, he said, are Identical with
those taught by the Savior and His
Apostles. Latter-Day Saints claim
that those principles constitute the gos-
pei which has been restored to the earth
in their purity in the present century
The plan of salvation, as expounded
by the Savior and officers whom He
commissioned, was departed from cen
turies ago. By gradual degrees man
transgressed the laws, changed the or
dinance and broke the everlasting cove
nant, as was predicted by Isaiah, thus
necessitating the true gospel, or power
of God unto salvation. Mormonism is
Il nickname derived from an ancient
prophet who lived upon this continent.
He wrote the gospel of Christ as it was
taught to the "other sheep" whom the
Messiah visited and instructed The
record kept was hidden away in the
earth and lay concealed for centuries.
Daniel saw a little stone cut out of the
mountain without hands. In fulfill
ment of this the record was brought
forth and translated by the power of
Ccd, the church was established and
the gospel again taught. 1t shall con-
tinue to spread until it becomes, as it
were, "a great mountain, and fills the
whole earth.
This gospel is to gather scattered Is
rael from all nations and establish
them in the mountains. as said the Pro-
phet Isaiah. 1t will restore the Jews to
/ their former home, where they will re-
build their city and capital.
The gospel viii stand as a law by
which the wicked will be judged by the
Judge of all men, and II will eradicate
all hate and selfishness from the minds
OF believers and irnplant instead those
great principles of altruism taught by
| the Messiah. These same principles
will lead nations to lay aside their war
fare, and men their strife. and their
swords shall be beaten into plow- shares
and their spears into pruning-hooks as
happy result
They will prepare the world for the
u- t.ering in OF the millennium OF peace
The record-union., 1896-02-17
The poor whites of the south.

Our friends in the North have per-
sisted in curious error concerning the
lines of separation between different
classes of the Southern population be-
fore the war They have broadly differ
entiated the people of the ante-bellum
South into the proud, naughty slave
holding aristocracy, the poor white
trash and the negroes. They have
never recognized the existence of a
large. hard working, well-to-do class
who were not aristocrats, but who were
not trash nor of another element,
poor and il1iterate, but not serfs in
either condition or spirit. The naughty
aristocrats did not fight the battles of
the Confederacy. Many of them lolled
at their ease and begrudged the Con-
federacy every dollar they were forced
to contribute for the maintenance of
a war upon the issue Of which their pos
sessions depended Others were brave
and gallant leaders. But the war was
really fought by the men who had no
negroes to be freed and little prop
erty to be confiscated. This fact came
to be recognized by the soldiers them
selves, and found pithy expression in
the common saying that it was "a rich
mans war and a poor mans fight"
The law exempting from military duty
the owner of twenty negroes did much
to encourage this feeling.-Memphis
Appeal.