Eagle River Democrat. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1893-1896, 1896-03-30
Our Theater Neighbors.

Sometimes it happens that an unpleas-
ant truth is forced upon us willy nllly.
Such persistent, irresistible showing OF
the disagreeable occurred to us on a re-
cent evening at the theater, and the
palDable unpleaSantneSS centered in the
conversation of the couple back of us.
Forced to listen we could only sigh over
the superficial education of two such
well-dressed individuals, and we Won
dered as they babbled on whether many
young men and women have so little to
talk about as had these two.
For our readers to judge whether we
We're supersensitive Or not we will quote
the conversation as nearly verbatim as
possible. Arriving a little late, the
young woman managed to almost gouge
out the eye of the man in the. seat next
to her, for which she apologized in so
loud tone that the words being spoken
on the stage were quite drowned. Set
tied at last she remarked in a very audi
bic tone, ooh, there is that dear Stod--
dard. | just love him. Silence reigned
after that for a second or two, then
Goodness gracious, it doesn't do to
dress in a hurry. | just feel as though
| were coming to pieces; do [ look SOP
Her escort hereupon sized her up and
remarked that he didn't see any indica-
ton of such a catastrophe. Il ought to
take off my hat, bet people are kicking
back of me-
That's all right" whispered the man,
who had been vainly trying to get the
run of the play.
Its new one. I think it's lovely.
The back is Frenchy, isn't it," and of
course compliments on the hat and it's
wearer were next in order But it was
not until between the acts that these two
proved beyond a doubt their marvellous
conversational powers.
''Have you been here long," queried
the man.
.'All winter was the reply.
"Do you like it,"
eyes, | think it's grand
Like it better than the SOUTH"
s'No.''
sWere you at the Walton opcning?'
Eyes, and l wouldn't mind living there
one bit.
"oh. you'd soon get tired of it, put
home cooking. Now, tonight / ate six
pieces of corn bread"
DO you like corn bread?'
Love it,
with molasses?'
mo. I can't eat molasses: isn't it
queer? 1t sort of poisons me.
Just like eggs do me-" said the fair
one, as she raised her voice to inform
all those near her that the reason she
found eggs so distasteful was that she
had taken the cure at Carlsbad when
they were abroad last summer, and be-
ing then on an egg diet could no longer
tolerate them.
DO you ride?" was the next interro-
cation from him.
"Oh, yes; you know I'm Southerner
and / ride every day at home"
81 am afraid on horse, | must con-
fess," apologized the escort
90, l amt. I'm a regular daredevil
on one," was the modest feminine re-
ply. And so they went Oh clubbing ev-
erything either grand or sad, the latter
evidently used as slang. Hetty, an out
slider often mentioned. would feel pleased
if she could know how well an utter
stranger is posted on her affairs, and we
trust that the couple aforesaid may read
these lines and receive our thanks for
the conclusion they reached after grave
discussion that our hair was not dyed,
the young woman declaring that her own
dark tresses were light at the ends.
But beyond the gratitude thus ex-
pressed we must also say that we hope
these two young people are the exception
rather than the rule in their mode and
topics of conversation.-Phi Philadelphia
Times.