The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-05-24

ing. What's that you call q bore?" said the
young Man Suffering From Ennui, turning to
the Nervous Man. LET me in on that story
I'm interested in bores"
That's the twentieth time I've been to that
telephone in the last hour and haven't yet
got the number l want. Line is busy; call
again'-that's all can get out of it. That S
what l call bore. What do you call it?"
That's nothing at all. What really jars q
man is to make half dozen trips to the tele-
phone-room in half an hour and each time
find young Affinity at the instrument. I've
known him TO keep that wire hot for three
quarters OF an hour at a stretch and me wait
ing to telephone to the city editor that 1
couldn't find the man he sent me to inter-
view"
There's more than Affinity who think they
own that telephone" said the man who lost
the last game. There's eight or ten fellows in
this club who never come here except to use
the telephone; and when they do come they
stay too long. I've noticed, too, that some of
them who pay dues least frequently use the
club wire oftenest."
That's what was going to say" remarked
the Nervous Man, who had made another fruit
less trip to the wire. "Tm going to propose
that the directory make rules not allowing one
man to use the wire more than five minutes 10
one number
THAT wouldn't help out much-not with
Affinity. I've known him to call up half a
over the wire," said Ennui.
It's not only the clubs that are suffering
from this growing telephone vice. The
business men are gr gaming under its intiic-
tions. Now that telephones are cheap and
are getting cheaper, mer and women who
have lots of time to spare are sparing
good deal of it on opposite ends of the
wire.
Every busy man who has ever found his
line crossed when he wanted to call up the
wholesaler for a rush order knows this to
his sorrow. 1t may be very intere sting TO
some people to listen to telephone love-
making and electric kisses, but the busy
man and the woman in business fail to see
the humorous side OF it.
The vice has got a firm grip on lots of
people already and some have become con-
firmed telephone drunkards They haunt
the telephone and only leave it long
enough to eat and sleep. In the worst
cases they often forget 10 eat and do not
60 TO sleep until the last nickel-in-tbe-slot
telephone in their Deighborhood has
closed for the night.
The vice has fastened itself on all classes
OF men and women, but more particularly
on the young clerk and the pretty type
writer. The way they use the wire often
makes Central husband that's saying q
whole lot. for Centralis usually many de-
grees removed from bashful country girl,
and in the idle hours of the night and day
Will stand good deal of taffy herself.
There's been a lovers code printed for
use on the telephone, and it is having big
sale now. a bright San Francisco man in
vented the code. It's for use when other
people are within hearing distance of the
one who is doing the talking. He has
made pile OF money out of his little book,
and has sold lot of them in the Eastern
States. The only trouble with the code is
that when q new girl gets on the other end
of the wire-one who doesn't know the
code-it won't work. However, it is get
ting to be pretty well known now. There
isn't a typewriter in town, it is claimed,
who does not know the code by heart and
the inventor of it has set himself to work
on a code for the grocer's clerk and the
servant girl.
Many of the big grocers furnish tele-
phones free to their patrons now. OF
course the telephone doesn't reach to
anywhere except to the grocer, but that's
a great convenience to a good many
families. 1t is SO easy to ring up
the grocer and order a jar of olives
or some pickles for luncheon, that
good many more olives and pickles find
their way on the luncheon board than be-
fore the grocers began to furnish tele-
phones.
mo more telephones in my house. tell
your and Smith brought his fists down with
big bang that shook the dice off the end of
the bar.
-Four sixes-hard to beat that" said Brown.
cfy,crr no foG tanI,
the matter with the telephone. The grocer
wanted to put one in my house, and my wife
and have about concluded to let him. Quite
convenience, you know
Convenience be hanged! Can't get the ser
want girl to keep away from it, and when she
isn't at it the nursegirl is. They're both
sparkling the same clerk at the other end of the
wire. They've got cipher arranged between
them, and when the servant girl orders four
dozens OF eggs it scares the life out of my wife
she's so nervous, you know. OF course, four
dozens OF eggs means i love you whole lot
or something like that Then she orders ten
pounds OF butter, and If my wife overhears her
she has a fainting spell. But ten pounds of
butter only means 'Ill be looking out of the
window when you pass Of course, the gro
GERS clerk at the other end repeats all these big
orders. and his employer thinks he is doing a
rushing business. I've told my wife fly times
that these big orders didn't mean anything
she happens TO overhear frightens her into
headache.
'aChange girls? We've tried that-we try it
every week so, and always did. No; the
telephone has got to go. Pll shake you for
just one more"
"Sixes againI That's hard. But we've got to
have the telephone in our house. My wifes
had the same girl for two years." said Brown
But of course, the telephone will in
crease in power and glory-there's no doubt
of that-in spite of all the objections that
may be urged against it.
1t has proved the theory of Plato that
time and space are illusions. Time disap-
pears when you can talk to your branch
house at Sacramento, just as if you and |
the manager were vis-a-vis. Space was de- |
stroyed entirely when the cable stretched |
across the Atlantic.
But if the wire doesn't work right,if you |