The islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1891-1899, 1896-03-26
A BICYCLE THIEF.

A certain news agency had telegraphed
abroad the report that / am in Switzer-
land, not for the benefit of my health,
but for the purpose of stealing bicycles,
and they added that l was an expert
thief, and, for time at least, / had
succeeded in battling the most praise
worthy attempts of the police Of two
towns to capture me.
While this statement is naturally fat
tering to ME it is nevertheless libel,
and, in fact, if l cared to use strong
language might go so far as to take
the last syllable away from the word
"libel.''
The whole trouble arose through
Switzerland not having proper Ian
guage of it's own, that billy country pre-
ferring to express what few thoughts it
has in mixture of French, German and
Italian, depending on what particular
canton you happen to be in. They say
that the Swiss are natural linguists.
Unfortunately they are. Any combina-
ton of sounds you may make means
something to any Swiss to whom you
happen to be talking, for he knows SO
many languages that you are sure to hit
one of them, and so You convey ideas to
him that you had no thought of express
ing.
October weather is lovely in Switzer
land. Most of the visitors have then
gone, prices come down one-half, and
the air is sweet and cool, with usually
a cloudless sky.
Under these circumstances I thought
it would be nice thing, as the roads
were good and the scenery picturesque,
to take bicycle tour right around Lake
Tbun, beginning at the town which
gives the lake its name, going around
the north side of the lake to Interlaken
and returning by the south shore.
The hotel keeper told me that if I
went up the street, turned to the right,
went under an arcade until came to a
tunnel, penetrated that and emerged on
another street, turned to the left and
kept on / would come to the shop Of a
man who would let ME have bicycle
on hire by the day or the hour. fol-
lowed the directions as closely as posi-
BILE and thought recognized the shop
because bicycle was leaning against
the wall The owner was leaning
against the doorway, looking at the BIZ
cycle outside. The following converse
tion in many languages took place be-
tween us:
''Haben sic un bicyclette louer?' I
L l. l. 81
mixture of German and French. 1t
seems he understood me to ask if that
was his bicycle, whereupon he replied
in four languages:
"Yaw, yaw, oui, yes. Sc. "
Then, throwing in a bit of Italian,
led off with:
"Quanta costa la machine a la hoor,
oder per tag?''
Now, submit that to any educated
person, or even to a university man,
this sentence said as plainly as print,
"How much do you want for This ma
chine by the hour or the day." tried
afterward to get the magistrate to see
this, but he, not knowing Italian, SHE'D
at the very beginning of the phrase.
The owner of the bicycle ON oath de-
clares that he thought 1 asked how
much the bicycle had cost him. He says
that he answered he paid 500 francs for
that brute Of machine, made in
France, while understood him to agree
to let me have it for francs a day.
which was cheap was in hurry to
be off and was afraid he might repent
his offer, so said it was all right, and
would take it, whereupon, without
further parley, I wheeled the bicycle
into the middle of the road, sprang on
it's back and was off, leaving the aston
ished man standing by his door, too
thunderstrIck, it seems, to make any
cutlery until I had passed beyond his
sight at the first turning of the road.
pedaled serenely on, little realizing
what commotion I had left behind
me, and the one funny thing about this
most regrettable episode is that spent
an exceedingly quiet, peaceful and en-
joyable day, not knowing Twas pursued.
making no attempt to elude anybody
and yet eluding them in what appeared
afterward to be by subtle and crafty
lodges The magistrate could not be
persuaded that my sitting on the We
randa of restaurant in the main street
of Interlaken, with the bicycle in plain
view of everybody, was not the brazen
act of hardened criminal, who knew
the police would be searching for him
in the back streets.
When the man standing against the
doorway had recovered partly from his
amazement at my sudden fight on his
machine, he rushed to the police station
and told the authorities there a plausi-
bic foreigner had engaged him in polite
Ollendorfian conversation, and, while
his mind was distracted in trying to fol
low his remarks, had seized the oppor-
tunity and also the machine and was at
that moment making his way to the
north road toward lnterlaken.
Now, capture under these circum-
stances seemed to be deliciously easy.
There were no branching of roads. The
mountains were on one side and the lake
on the other, on neither side Of which
was bicycling practicable. Therefore all
the two policemen had to do, when they
mounted their machines, was to ride
faster than did, and so overtake me.
As had no idea that race was on.
plunged along in leisurely manner
and would undoubtedly have been taken
near mterlaken if it had not been for
the fact that some years ago company
built funicular railway from the mar
gin of the lake a mile or SO mn to ST.
(. Beatenburg. / had lived in ST. Beaten
burg once, and / remembered that the
road from there to Interlaken was a