The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-03-14
DE MOTT STREET KID
HE TELLS M. QUAD WHY HE LEFT
THE SALVATION ARMY.

vnO ~ " tIs army lnTBp
Him Down.
II expected it would bio in de papel
dis mornin, but dey didn't ketch on
said "de Mott street kid" to me as
went down for a Bowery shine.
what was thar"
"De fact dat I've left de Salvashur
Army, Gully"
"But I didn't know you belonged tt
it."
We'll, l didn't go round shoutin dc
moose, but I was right dere wild boat
feet jest de same. I was a sort o. outside
assistant, ye know. I didn't beat dc
drum nor do any singin, but got in me
work on de quiet. 1t started bout three
months ago. A Salvashun Teller cum
along yere and talked to me bout my
soul, aud de fust Ting I knowed l had
tears in me peppers, ~genooine tears,
Gully. He put it to me in SIGH a way dat
If l hadn't bin rushed wild biz I'd hey
packed me grip and j'ined de Army fur
red hot work. Am / fyin too high in
my languidge, ole MANI
mo; I Il understand"
Oats consolin. It does me good to
meet a Teller wat ketches on to me
classics offhand and don't hev to con
suit a pocket dickshunary when I sings
me tongue about. SEE I to de Teller wat
brings lie cologne to me optics wild his
bewtiful talk:
81 can't leave me biz, stranger, to
be o. ye at de barracks, but I'll do
work on de outside. I knows a heap O.
mighty wicker buffers, I does, and I'll
use ME inf1ooence to drive 'em round
to de meetin's.'"
"That was kind of YOU" / said.
eyes, but it didn't turn ont dat
way" he replied. II turned dat matter
over and over in me mind, and it cum
to me dat l would begin OH de ole duke
fust Of all"
"Your father?:"
eyes, de Duke o. Mott Street. Say,
Gully. he's my fadder, but he's tuff. If
a cable car should run over him 20
times, de wheels couldn't find q soft
spot. If it wasn't fur me political in
fooence and finanshul standin, de ole
boy would hev bin doom time long ago.
l jest went home one night and seq to
him:
"'Duke, de Salvashun Army wants
ye.'
"'What fur?'
"'To make a good man O. ye.'
How much sugar is dere in it?'
"'Not n bone. but dey'll sandpaper
yer heart and whitewash yer soul till
yell be like a newborn child. 1t won't
be four weeks before ye kin meet a peel
or face to face and not feel weak in de
knees.
land did you prevail upon him?"I
asked.
PREVAIL nuthin, cully!" he replied
in tones Of disgust. Ode duke broke ne
head and driv me out, and it cost me a
pint o. brandy to square de deal. Dat
didn't discourage me, however. Did
ye ever hear Of de Baxter street p~arson?''
"No, I new did,"
Hes a young Teller, and dey calls
him de parson bekase he's wicked from
his eyebrows to his toe nails. Say, ole
man, I've heard him use 800 cuss words
in 65 seconds by de watch, and he
wasn't tryin to beat the record at dat.
He gifts drunk, picks pockets, tips dc
green goods chappies and bilks all de
saloons. Dere amt no tuffness about
him. It's all wickedness, and de nails
are clinched on de fur side. Well, l
knows where de parson hangs ont, and
l hunts him up and sez:
"'Cully, cum wild me-
"'Fur Il drink?'
"'No. To hev yer bloomin soul dis
infected and hung up to dry and then
painted two coats O. white!'
81 hewitt got any soul
"'Then We'll git a bladder and make
70 one, and inside of W weeks yell
feel respectable huff to be knocked
down by a Broadway carr
lis it de Salvashun Army ye mean?'
"'Dat's de snap, Gully
"'Den don't waste no more time, fur
I'm already too goodl OATS what ails
mel can't git along fur bein too in
nercent and childlikeP"
"Then you failed with him. I
queried.
"Dat's what ye might call it" slow
~ replied de kid ut makes me hot
under de collar to hear him work his
chin after dat style, and I took off me
coat and sailed in and left him a bloom
in wreck on de floor. A copper run me
in. and l paid Is big dollars to keep de
judge good natured. l wasn't droppin
me promise to de Salvashun Army,
however. I jest went around and Tao
killed. all de tufts l had de honor O.
KNOWN, and I gin 'em de choice o. BEN
made over or O. putin up DER dukes
wild me. l licked about nine O. 'em, and
me hans haven't got over DER soreness
yit, while dc bones l parted wild at de
Tombs figger up over 30. l was feelin a
bit blue over de matter. but was still
dom bizness, when I gifts a call from
dat same ole Salvashun fellar. Wat
dye tink he'd cum fur, cully?"
"To thank you for your earnest efforts
perhaps"
"Thanks be bowed! He-jest trowed
mi down as cool as ice. Said me racket /
was way off de center, and was doin
more hurt dan good. All me walkin
about-all me arguments, all de punches
got in de nose while tryin to steer de
tuffness O. do east side into de fold and
hev 'em properly whitewashed went fur
nuthin. Dat hurt me feelin's, Gully, and
l handed in Sic r~esignashun last night.
I'm not Workin fur de cause auv more.