The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1896-12-16
TWO LETTERS.

| would be quite three weeks before l could
expect the next remittance from my father,
who was 80 good as To exc out my own
narrow inc, ne A nice position was In
for making an offer Of marriage! Never
mind. Let the world collapse, Emily Sim
mons must be mine!
began tn write my proposal to Miss
| Simmons, but could not please myself, and
several sheets OF note paper were spoiled
before i had written the first page At
length / got thus far, but the pen was
| broad one there was no blottng paper
and no fire, and the ink took long time
TO dry
had no time to spare IL wished to
save the post. and while l was waiting 1t
struck me that | might as well write "a
note TO my father, begging him To antici-
pate my quarterly allowance. So | put
the half written letter To Miss simmons
on one side for the time and commenced
the other. This thought / was going 10
dash of in n moment hut did not get on
with the facility had expected
Words require To be well chosen in max
ing such applications, especially TO such a
man as my father, so 1t was some time be-
fore the first page of this letter was ready
for the drying process Then / took up
the other again, but here the choice of
words was still more difficult, and | soon
spoiled it and had to commence it afresh
Then got nervous and spoiled the other
also, and, in fact, had consumed large
quantity of paper and several glasses Of
brandy and water before had completed
the two letters at all to my satisfaction.
At length they were finished, and hur-
ried off and posted them exactly in time
of the clock.
BY next days post got replies to both
my letters at once, the address of one being
in my mothers writing, the other in an
elegant ladylike hand, which was no doubt
the autograph of Miss Simmons. How my
heart beat as opened the letter. But fancy
my CONSERVATION when saw that my own
letter was returned, accompanied by the
following short note:
Miss Simmons returns the inclosed
letter with the contempt it merits and re-
grets that she should ever have made the
acquaintance of a person at once SO mer-
cenary and SO stupid.
Here was a settler to my hopes What
could IL meany $50 mercenary. / mer.
cenary? /, who had positively regretted
that Miss Simmons had any money at all.
Good gracious! Was il possible that had
put the letters into the wrong envelopes.
Such things had been heard of / broke
open the Enclosure. No, it was all right.
1t was my letter to herself commencing
with Adorable Miss Simmons" In a
state of utter bewilderment / opened my
mothers letter. 1t Enclosed el0 note and
ran as follows:
MYDEAR ALFRED What could be the mean.
ing of that dreadful incoherent letter you
wrote to your father? We could make out from
the commencement of it that you are in want
Of money, but never read anything so strange
and ncomprehensible as the latter part Oh,
my dear Alfred, how could you call your ia
Their a charmer? He is naturally most deeply
mortified at such "a term being applied to him.
He says you must have been tipsy when you
wrote it, but l know that my dearest Alfred
could never DO guilty of that dreadful vice.
Your father protested that he would not send
you farthing, but left you fl0 note on his
desk, and inclose it to you, fully believing
that he intended me to do Take of
yourself. my dearest Alfred. and never call
your father "a charmer again. Your loving
mother. JENNA PIPPINGToN.
What could my mother mean? ] had
never called my father a charmer or any
thing of the kind He was little short,
quiet, high dried matter of fact, snuff
taking country attorney, an excellent ia
ther in his undemonstrative way, but the
last one in the worl,l one would think of
calling charmer. Quite unable TO I'M
derstand the affair, l took up my rejected
offer and mechanically read it through.
Yes, it was all right. | recollected every
word as l went on What was there in this
to make Miss Simmons think me mer-
cenary or stupid Nothing Stay, though
what was this? There was some mis-
take. This was not what l intended TO
write TO the young lady. l recollect every
word of that letter at the present moment.
l shall never forget it. 1t ran thus:
ADORABLE Miss SIMMoNs-I can no longer
DELAY the request which have To make to you.
Again and again you must have seen it trem-
bling on my lips, when either some awkward
interruption some futtering of my own
heart has prevented its being spoken Oh,
Miss Simmons! Oh, Emily! Do not refuse mel
Oh, mistress of my soul, give me by return of
post, If possible. five and twenty pounds for
have had some heavy expenses OF late, and. in
a word. as know that you like people to come
at once to the point, 1 am regularly hard up.
Your very obediently,
ALFRED PIPPINGToN.
Now 1 saw through it, In the haste and
confusion of writing the letters, and espe-
cially through having changed from one
to the other while waiting for the ink to
dry, had made the amazing blunder of
commencing one letter to the lady and
continuing it to my father, and of begin
ming another to that respected parent and
finishing it with what was intended for
the eye of Miss Simmons. Was ever any
thing so absurd? l rushed at once to the
lady's house, but was denied admittance
I wrote to her letter of explanation, but
1t was returned unopened. 1 never saw her
again. Soon after this her father took her
away, and before very long l heard that
she was Miss Simmons no longer, but had
married rich man called Potts.-Ex-
change.