Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-08-24
JUST FOR FUN.

stance lies between.
Slimson-I wonder where the step
ladder is? Mrs. S.-Willie had it last.
Then it must be in the pantry.
Are you a daughter of the revolu-
ton? he asked. I think I am, she
answered feelingly; ride a wheel.
Under free coinage at Is to 1, the
motto, SIN God We trust" should be
added "For the Other Forty seven
Cents"
Customer-Is that the razor yon
shaved me with the last time? Knight
of the Razor-Yes, sir. Customer
Chloroform, please.
He (tauntingly)-Your father was
in trade when married you, wasn't
he? She (bitterly)-I suppose SO. He
was sold, in any event.
He Without joking, Elsie, adore
you. When 1 look at you there is
such a commotion in my breast. She
And in mine, too, Harry; it must be
the lobster salad.
Teacher-Now, here is an example
in mental arithmetic. How old would
person be today who was born in
1868? Tommy-Please, mum, was it
man or woman.
Miss Borely-I called on Mrs. De
We're today. Miss Cutting did I.
Miss Borely-She was looking very
tired. Miss Cutting-Yes, she said
you had just called.
Miss Primo, sir, once for all,
tell you would never marry a rake.
Mr.. Gayboy-Well, it's about time
you were making hay, if ever. Miss
Prim-Good evening.
What became of young
Freshler, who went west to grow up
with the country? Hupper-Well,
they planted him all right, but I've
never heard whether he sprouted or
not.
Johnnie (,the Office boy MIR.
Sands, the grocer, is down stairs, and
wants to know why you didn't ans
wer his letter about last months bill,
sir. Editor-Ten him he forgot to
enclose a stamp.
Pleasure of the seashore-She-I
have often wondered what the wild
waves are saying. He-Judging from
their roar I should say they were
joining the general kick against the
high prices at this resort.
A little fourye old occupied an
upper berth in the sleeping car.
Awakening once in the middle of the
night, his mother asked him if he
knew where he was. Tourse do, he
replied. Pm in the top drawer.
the landlady is to take trip to the
West Second Boarder-Is that so?
If the train would stop long enough
at stations she could give the railway
restaurant people some great points.
Watts-It seems rather sad that the
old prophets had to die before their
prophecies were fulfilled. Potts-I
think it was good thing. Just think
what nuisances they would have
made of themselves going about and
saying, I told you SO.
Miss Kissam-You seem depressed
tonight. Mr.. Dexter. Mr.. Dexter
Yes; I am. went to fortune teller
today to find out my fate, and was
told that the girl loved would not
marry me. Miss Kissam-But, Mr..
Dexter, no fortune teller is authoriz-
ed to speak for me.
The doctor was about to take off
the leg of a patient, and before put
ting him under ether said: I am
about to saw your leg off and you may
not survive the operation Have you
anything to leave for your friends?
The sufferer looked up and feebly
said: Just tell them that you saw
me.
What made that young man stay SO
late? asked the father. We got to
talking about the coinage, said the
fair daughter, and did not notice the
fight of time. I don't think that
story will do, said the old man. Peo-
pie who discuss the coinage question
make lot more noise than you two
did.
The whole system is drained and undermin-
ed by indolent ulcers and open sores. De-