The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-12-12
CURRENT EVENTS.

CURRENT EVENTS.
Cynthia docking at photographer
-am, just turn your head little. HI
iam-You have turned It already. Gym
.hia.-Ncw York World
He-Its reported around that we are
engaged. She-Well, you know It's
mistake. He-Yes; I called to see II l
couldn't rectlfy it--Puck.
Arthur-Are you sure she loves your
Jack-Yes. When ! told her I had no
money to marry on she asked me II
couldn't borrow some.-Puck-
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben. "er
man puts on er long face an says he's
discouraged when he's simply too lazy
ter try again. "-Washington Star.
she-Everybody says you married
me only for my money. He-But
didn't, dear. | know you look II. dear.
but dldn't-Indianapolis Journal.
Her Father-Has my daughter given
you any encouragement. sir? Suitor-
Well. she said you were always a very
generous parent.-Phlladelphi Ameri-
can.
Mame-I hope you didn't let tina,
Mr.. Higgins put his arm about your
Mabel-Why7 Is there anything the
matter with his arm 7-Washington
Star.
Mrs. Elmore-I wonder how many
stops that new organ Of De Smyth's
has got? Elmore-Only three, | should
Judge. One for each meal-Buffalo
Times.
81 see they are applying ball bearings
to a great many things now" Yes;
they have a ball bearing sign down
where keep my watch. "-Washington
Times
Stern Parent-You say he is a genius.
Daughter-But. pa. he promises that he
will not work at 1t arter We are mar
rIed.-Boston Transcript
Hoax-Poor Bjones has to run all the
errands and cook his own meals. Joax
What's the trouble? Hoax-He was
foolish enough to buy his wife n BIZ
cycle.-Philadelphia Record
When In the brassy skies above
No hope nor help see.
gladly seek the girl l love
She's always cool TO me.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Spirit tat Lily Dale seance)-Don'i
you know me? I'm the spirit OF your
mother-in-law. Investigator-You cam
fool me. Ny mother-in-law always
brought her trunk with her.-Buffalc
Times.
81 suppose you know all about the
financial question: said the intimate
friend. Il don't say that I know al
about IT," replied the candidate. blu
| know enough not to talk about IT.
Washington Star.
Miss ChiIedame-Don't you know
that nature rebels against lazinessf
man can get nothing in this world with
out labor. Wrestling Ofen-Humph
Can't he? He can git hungry. guess
, -Harper's Bazaar.
/ Peasant spoke to our herb docto
and he advised me that ! should
, Doctor QnterruptIng)-Oh. he gave 20
some idiotic advice, l don't doubt
, Peasant-He advised me to see you
, Humoristische Blaetter.
HAS your wife learned to ride
, wheel?" "Nup; but she has been tai
' ing cooking lessons. and about ever
Z morning she goes into the kitchen an
n has a scorchlng competition with III
r k."-Indlanapolis Journal
Isn't II too bad about Charll
: Newed? | understand that since b
{ marriage he and his wife have bee
T living from hand to mouth" "Oh.
/. guess they're all right It's her fatl
{ er's hand. you know."-New Yor
: Press.
= Nell-Miss BJones uses Frenc
phrases in the most peculiar name
D Belle-Does she? Nell-Yes. lndee'
a Why. at breakfast yesterday | aske
+ her how she liked her eggs. and 81
said they were very chick.-Philade
Q phia Record.
J, Have you got II on you yetT asks
: little Petey OF his sisters bestest bes
n sW-w-whats" Inquired the thr'
n night a week beau. why, a NOV
b Sister said the other night she wishs
you'd hurry up and get move on you
Philadelphia North American.
! Il say. captain" said a young En-
4 lishman on board an American clippe
: that flag OF yours has not hOated
every breeze and over every sea for
] thousand years, has III" mo. II amt
replied the captain. but It has lick
one that has."-1outh's Companion.
: Henderson, consider II a good rul
] and It's one l have tried to follow.
say bright things only once In Will
{ In that way my good things are remel
bered. II | was all the time gettil
[ of bright things they wouldn't be U
ticed. Fogg-A very good rule; bV
Fendy. don't you think you observe
too closely Boston Transcript