The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-06-04
NO CITY LIFE FOR HIM.
Jay Greon Had Seen 1t All and Wanted
No Fight For Life.


There's tremendous lot of people
livin i'll New York. amt there, Jay?'
inquired Josh Grayneok.
There's tremendous lot more of
'em livin than 1 should think there
would be, considerin the risks they are
runnin all the time, " replied Jay Green,
who had but recently returned from his
first visit to the metropolis and was still
greatly impressed thereby. "Talk about
dangers! Why, it's lots safer brakin ON
the railroad or workin in powder mill
or fightin Indians than it is Jest to 1.-Two
i'll New York! It's continual fight for
your lifel'
Gee whiz! The sharpers an bunko
mon amt rs bad us all that, are they?"
"Shucks! The swindlers amt nothin
compared with the other dangers
swindlers won't do anything worse than
hook your carpetbag or sell you gold
brick or something like that, if you let
'em. 1t is the dangers Of what is called
metropolitan convenionceS that I'm talk
in about. Mauholes BLOWN you up, safes
fallin on you an smashin you fat po-
lcemen poundin you on the head for
askin civil questions, hacks knockin you
down if you stop n minute i'll the street,
elevators fallin into the cellar with you.
fire engines an ambulances runnin over
you, live wires shockin you to death
somethin everywhere that you've got TO
dodge for your life an somethin else al
ways on hand for you to jump right in
front of when you dodge out of the way
of the other thing!"
"Gol frost! want to knowr'
An, pshawl One Of the things that
city folks brag about especially is the
worst Of all--tho elevated railroad.
You've seen cattle bcin loaded into
cars for shipment? Waal, that amt a
circumstance to what occurs on the ele-
waited during the busy parts of the day!
1t seems rs if about all the people in
tho world are crowded ON to the plat
forms Of the stations waiting for the
trains, az Jest as many jammed fast in
the stairWays. an all around the edge
Of tho crowd arc big policemen hittin
heads wherever they can git in good
licll
Talk about it! The people fill the
station platforms like sardines III box.
If they all drew their breath at the
same time, l believe to my soul the
swell would puff the folks that are
around the edges overheard like boilin
rice III spite of the best efforts of the
policemen to pound 'em back. Then,
when the train swirls up, they all try
to swarm on board at once, everybody
scrabblin to git in ahead of everybody
else. But there is great big bull necled
Teller who slams 'em back like hay
press smashes its cud
"When the folks inside of the cars
have managed to fight their way out,
the outsiders rush in like cataract,
about onethird OF 'em apparently ridin
right in on top of the rest. Then the
bull necked man rams em in like loadin
q blunderbuss, shoves off the surplus
people an filings 'em back on to the plat
form. Then he smashes the iron gate
shut an the train goes on amid the salts
fed signs of the people Oh board an the
groans Of them that are left behind
And this is only one of the things
that go on i'll New York day after day
an year after year, an the victims actu-
ally boast of 'em as metropolitan con-
veniences! Josh, wouldn't live in New
York right along for salary of $50 a
week! Let's go an git glass Of cider''
New York World.