The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-08-13
TRIBUN ETS.

| II 4 y
Claimants Messenger: The we'll from which
| Irish stories are drawn is incxhaustible. Here
| is a good example of Pats wit and readiness.
| An Irish witness was being examined as to his
| knowledge OF shooting affair.
Did you see the shot fred?" the Magis-
| trate asked.
NO sorr. / only heard it." was the evasive
reply.
THAT evidence is not satisfactory" replies
the Magistrate sternly-"stand DOWN."
! The witness turned round to leave the box.
and directly his back was turned he laughed
! derisively. The Magistrate, indignant at this
| contempt of court, called him back, and asked
| him how he dared to laugh in court.
did ye see me laugh. your honor," queried
the offender.
| mo, sir but / heard you" was the irate
reply.
That evidence is not satisfactory" said Pat
quietly, but with a twinkle in his eye. And
this time everybody laughed except the Aagis-
| trate.
| The Vedette, published at Huntsville, Tenn,
has in large type, under its head. Established
in 1862 by Gen. John II. Morgan and His Men,"
1t is naturally, Free Silver. Popocratic organ.
| If John II. Morgan and his men are where they
know anything about it. they certainly ap-
prove its course, and are glad they started it.
| NJ
| Senator Marion Butler urges less talking in
the Populist ranks. Does he want to kill them
of by congestion of language in their systems
1
| A sKrNFLINT's DEVICE.
The talk about the Spanish and Mexican
coinage in circulation before the war reminds
me of n story that used to be current in our
neighborhood. when was boy of prominent
man who was terribly CLOSE" in money mat
tiers. The aforesaid Spanish and Mexican coins
were all more or less worn, and there was al
| ways clubbing about their value. The general
rule was, however, that as long As the pillars
| showed" the coins went for their face value.
As soon as the pillars were worn of the half
dollar only went for 40 cents, the quarter for
| 90 cents, etc 1t was the custom, when any of
these smooth pieces were received by bank or
merchant, to take an awl, and, making four
little indentations en- the edges draw a cross
across the face of the piece, which prevented it
ever afterward from being received for face
value. Well, one day Mr.. Skinfint in
church, and the contribution box approached.
He felt in his pocket and could find there but
| one Spanish quarter, considerably worn. He
felt that he couldn't afford to put 25 cents into
| the contribution box, so. taking out his knife,
| he scratched cross on the coin, and thus only
| gave 20 cents.
| Senator Stewart has actually done something
else than talk about the Crime of 1873" He
| has coined a new word. He wrote letter of
introduction recently. in which he said: " This
| is Mr. -, who has been a lifelong Democrat.
but during few years residence in Colorado
| he co,inubiated with the Populists."
| SAs
George Miller is under arrest in New York
for having married 10 women He was trying
to get another, so as to make the ratio just 16
to1.
The telegraph states that Missouri negro
! has gone crazy over the financial question.
| Why single out baor negro in this way. when
there was the whole Chicago Convention?
| ~
| The Democrats have nominated man named
| Staples to run against Tom Reed for Congress.
| The necessares OF life staples, but Mr..
Staples will find himself useless superfuity in
Maine political life.
The Massachusetts, Democratic papers are
now generally agreed that the erstwhile hand
some and popular George Fred Williams is a
moral idiot" Well, if he is, he has gone into
company where that is no advantage to him.
"Tell me the name of lawyer in France"
81 don't know one. Send letter addressed
To any respectable attorney"
II tried that, and the letter was returned
| marked Not known"