The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1896-05-14
ASSOCIATES INTIMACIES.
A Young rlan is Generally Judged By
the Company He Keeps.

In our fond attachment to the idea
of independence we forget how very
little there really IS Of 1t in the
world. Boast as we may of being
self-centured and free from control,
there is not one among us who Is not
dependent upon others for much that
he has, and is and does. Especially
is this true as regards character and
conduct. Those with whom we
mingle are constantly moulding US
into mental and moral forms resemb
ling their own, and no possible effort
or determination On our part can pre-
vent it. 1t is true that each indlvld-
uality is separate and different from all
others, but all are being inscnslbly
modified by their associations with
each other.
There are different degrees of this
influence. Some persons are very sus-
ceptible. They take the form OF every
pressure as wax takes the form OF the
seal. Others are more original and
less mobile, yet, as even the rock can
not resist the constant action OF the
waves, neither can they wholly resist
the perpetual influence of their fellow
men. 1t is true that occasionally one
who seems to be SO strong and self
poised that, while working power
fully upon the community in some dl-
reCtion, he receives but little impress
sion from them in return. He carries
all before him, but is not himself car
ried by any one. But this is the
great exception. Most of us are hour
ly being worked upon and moulded by
those with whom we mingle, while we
in turn are modifying and changing
them by the same silent influence.
Much of the process is beyond our
control. We find ourselves in circum
stances which we have not made, and
surrounded by influences which we
have not selected. Our nation, our
city, our business, our relationship are
fashoning us, with or without consent.
Still, the strongest influence of all is
one over which we may have much
control. This is the one that comes
from our chosen friends and intlmates.
Out of the large number of people who
are acting upon US, we usually draw
TO ourselves few who, from sympathy
of taste, or interest, or aim, become
closely allied to US. We naturally
grow fond of them, cherish their socle-
ty and admit them to our confidence.
Insensibly, but surely, we become as
simulated to them. Their thoughts,
their opinions, their standards, their
manners and morals, all modify ours
10 a much greater degree than we sup
pose possible.
1t is truly said that ga man is known
by the company, he keeps for he
grows more and more into their like
ness, ard the change is irresistible
Now, while much of our social and
business intercourse marked out for US
by circumstances, our intimacies are
certainly within our choice, and we
are responsible for whatever influence
they exert upon our character. O
the multtudes that surround US, and
with whom we rightly maintain civil
and even kindly relations, we can Sc
lect without any compulsion those
whom we welcome to the closer bono
of friendship. No accident, no mere
circumstances should decide a matter
so fraught with important circum
stances.
This responsibility needs to be es
pecially impressed upon the young
and those who have charge of them
Parents often strangely overlook it
and permit as intimate associates TO
their children those whose characte
they would be very sorry to see re
duplicated in them. In youth ever,
influence is received most positively
and assimlated most easily. As year
pass on principles become fixed an(
habits formed; giving much powe
of resistance; but with the young tn;
cannot be. First the parent for tn
the child, and then the youth for him
self, proves his character and order
his conduct very largely by the choic