Evening star., 1896-09-26
THoMPsoY fTREET BICYCLE
CLUB.
Written BY M. Quad Yor The Evening Star.

son Street Bicycle lub, President Toots an
ncunced the following additional hints and
suggest tons for the benefit of members:
"If George Washington had been bikist
he would have lied about how easy he could
go up the steepest4 hill.
You may miss a dozen cable cars by six
or eight fncheSI bit you bound to b,
picked up sooner or later. If flung over the
dashboard into thefrar you will be expected
to pay fare
"A century rum may mean one hundred
miles or only three or four. It's better to
make four and lie the nfnety-six.
"Glve your boy a brad-awl and let him
puncture your tires at home, where you
have the time and convenience for practice.
This will be sport for him and picnic for
you.
mo bicycle is eccentric 1t is the rider
who spins gayly along the street one day
and gees bounding over the curb stones and
horse blocks the next.
NO pupil should give up before taking
at least hfty lessons. II you can't make
a go of 1t after that no one will blame you
for feeling that the world fs 'agin you and
thirsting for revenge.
There are wheemen who run over cows
lying down on a country road, but as no
prizes are offered, and as she Is likely to
get up when you are going over her, it's
Just as we'll to dodge her when you can.
Time fs the Healer.
The committee to whom was submitted
the question: Is there cure for the BIZ
cycle face?" announced its readiness to re-
port and the chairman read as follows:
"Dis committee has given TO weeks to
investigator de matter, an has consulted
wild de best doctors at hand an it has ar
rCVe at de conclusion dat dere am no cure
fur de ailment except de lapse OF time. De
| bicycle face am light stroke of paralysis.
| 1t seiZeS de rider when. he makes his first
| trip on de road an meets wild de fust beer
! wagon or movn' van. De road may be two
| hundred feet wide, an de driver Of dat
F! vehicle de most keerful man in the world,
| hut de new bkest am skeart jest de same.
| He emagines he am gwine to be run ober
| an squashed to squash. an in his terror de
| wheel Wobbies to de right an to de left an
| falls nat down, an when yo help him UP
yo' don't know him fur the same person.
He's got de bicycle face on him. His eyes
| hang out. his mC'lf is half open, his COM
pleXion am de color of chalk, an he either
speaks wild a lisp or stutter. Muffin yo
kin say to him-nuftin' yo' kin do-will take
| away that awful look. If you kin keep him
| out OF lunatic asylum or prevent suicide
| an encourage MIN to continue ridin
| time Will cure the ailment. 1t will begin to
fade about de time he crosses six street
| kyar tracks ahead Of six cable kyars. an
| some day when he has lodged a Texas
| steer an outrun a runaway hoss his usual
| look will return to him an he will be all
| right foreber mo-.
~In dis conneckshun We wish to frow out
I
| sexes who ride along wild de mouf open. II
| sich pussons will chaw gum dey ride deg
| will SOON find dat de mouf kin be kept shut
for at least half de time. De result will be
de same if you chaw on a rag but you don t
| get quite much fun out of it."
The. BieScle Dream.
The commito tee to whom submitted
! the question: "Can the bicycle dream be
evaded?" were then called upon for re-
port and it WAS forthcoming, as follows:
| "Dis committee has talked wild ober one
hundred wheeifnen1old an young. male an
female-an has found dat all passed frew
de same experience. De bicycle dream
comes arter de fnst lesson. You go home
pushin ON de Sidewalk wild your right foo,
an your left foot. sAii de buildin's seem to
wobble as you pass EN- You feel like
ringin' de bell an putin on dc brake when
! wild sAbenteen Kinds % backache an foteer
sorts OBJ Iamensss an yo' no sooner drap Of
to sleep dan yo' hear voice calm out
Push on de right pedal-push on de left
| oat wall-don't be afraid-sot up straight
git up your nerver- Den comes de bicycle
dream. 1t can't help but come. You dream
of runnin' ober precipices, UP trees an cliffs
| ober men, women an chifen. You see gal
Ions of blood and dozens of corpses. Yol
| dream dat you jump on to your bike to flet
} away. but de bike kicks up behind an
trows you of an a thousand men cry fu
| vengeance an hang you to the neares
lamppost. When you are gwine to be hunt
you yell out in your sleep an skeer all d,
| policemen off de block. When yo' am hang
in YOU kick de footboard off de bed, frov
all de bedclothes outer de winder, an i
somebody don't hold you you'll smash up d
furniture an tear down de house. OATS d.
Usual bicycle dream, an no doctor an
gwine to beat it. It gifts wilder wild ever.
lesson you take up to about seben, an d.
, | fust day you go out on de road is folowe,
. by sich dream of rattlesnakes, precipices
runaway hosses, bad Injuns. pizened water
millyons an mad dawgs dat some dreamer
! am found dead in bed an de coroner call
| it heart disease.
while muffin can prevent de bicycl
: | dream, it kin be rendered comparatve
harmless. When pusson am gwine t
take a lesson he should ingaige de service
1 ! Of two strong men to sot up wild him da
night Dey should tie him to de bed wi
, | clothes lines. Dey should hev pals of ic
+ ! water at hand to frow ober him. De
! | should hev clubs to whack him wild when
| begins to kick. He won't escape de dream
9 | but dere won't be so many mad dawgs ar
| Niagary Falls in it. 1t allus lasts wee
+ an sometimes two, an goes away arter d
: Dreamer has bounced along ober six block
p | OF cobblestun pavement
s. Thanks and Adjournment.
= President TootS thanked the committee