The morning times., 1896-03-08
CAPITAL CITY SKETCHES.
Gratifnde9

Grdtltt10et
THIS emotion, with those OF virtue and
questered spot OF nammaiia' s nervous
system.
It's known that when tourists swap notes
the particular thing which one did not see,
is the particular thing which the other will
declare was most worth seeing.
With detectives.
The very thing they do not recover is the
very thing the loser most treasured.
For instance.
Washingtonian reported the loss of
hundred dollar overcoat. In the pockets
were pair OF gloves, a gold pencil,
silk handkerchief, ana the picture of a
sweetheart.
The Sherlocks hustled.
They found the coat, they got the pencil.
they recovered the gloves, they handed
over the handkerchief, they returned the
picture of the sweetheart.
They arrested fourteen people on sus-
picion.
Next day the loser wrote a letter. Con-
graduating the detectives? Not much.
Roast.
There was a letter in the pocket of that
coat which the loser would rather have
recovered than the hundred dollar Oyercoat
or the sweetheart's likeness.
What was in that letter?
He didn't know.
He said he had received IL a few minutes
before he missed the coat. He had not
opened 1t.
1t is said the haFbor police need a new
boat. 1t is not true.
II is not grammatical. The harbor po-
lice need a boat. They have none now.
They have the Joe blackburn.
The Joe has decks and davits, keelSou
and crew, compass AID captain and other
things in imitation OF a boat, bat in Pc,
tomac English, 'she amt no boat anyway
Once thOughtless mariner cast over
board a softening watermelon.
The Joe was coming along at full speed
The Occoquan blew for the Joe 10 move
out of the way and the Mary washington
whistled a laugh as she left the Joe awash
The softening watermelon did not see
the Joe. The softeniug watermelon did
not fear the Joe.
Collision.
Crash.
Help!
The softening watermelon noated on.
The crew of the Joe were rescued by q
sand scow-
There Is a grand chorus OF science Ie
loose in Washington.
Scarcely night goes by without some
body at some place publicly elucldatins
some profoundly erCdite branch OF whict
the world in general has forever bluEdereC
along in ignorance.
There's enough science running loose il
this city to supply the world for mani
generations TO come.
There are new scientific SOciet ties, founded
| for research into entirely new department.
or the Improved that Will be proved.
| being formed all the time
There is nothing TO say against it. TIT
noticeable feature of it is that there i
| Just considerable more OF il than Their
| ever was before.
| 1t was late, very late. The saloons hai
| all CLOSED long ago, and he had finishes
| the extra ha!f-pint In the bottle, and nov
| it had almost finished him.
| He stood in the street and meditated- Tn
| moon looked down al him and laughed. !.
| cabman came along and laughed also. II
| stopped his horse and toll the man the ca r
/ had stopped running which was a He-an
| that he had better take a cab home.
| The man waved him away inpatientIy
! Then he squared himself and started acros
! the street. :. car passed them. IL was Ia,
/ last Fourteenth street car. The cabma
/ knew it because it had a red light on to-
/ rear end.
/ The man saw the light and started afte
/ it. The faster lie tried to walk the NOR
/ unsteady was MS Edft- he liEnC KEEP
/ getting farther away, and the man KEEP
! walking faster. Then he started 10 ruT
| but the effort was too much. When tn
| ca bman picked him up he was gurgling an
! laughing 70 himself. Dash blamedest dru
sto' ever saw" was all he said.
There is n man who rides up town ever
| night on the Fourteenth street car.
He does not look different from many {
| the people who make that trip about tn
same time in the evening, but every grip
! man is on the watch Tor bim, ana they wi
! violate rhe rules or the company and Sto
in the middle of the square so that h
| may get on ana ride with them.
The gentleman in question ALWAYS swing
onto the grip car and takes one OF Ga
single seats q bout half way up. Just befOr
lie gets to his corner he leans over an
passes the gripman a little bundle of ctgars
! Then he smiles and waves his hand an
! drops off.