New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-01
HOW ONE MAN "SVORE OFF.'
A SAMPLE OF THE WAY IN WHICH RESO-
LUTIONS MAKE AND BREAK
BATTERY OF ALARM CLOCKS. SET BY MALL
cIots FRIENDS TO GO OFF ONE HOUR
APART BROUGHT FORTH AN ORDER
FOR THE REAL STUFF"

CIoUs FRIENDS TO GO OFF ONE HOUR
APART BROUGHT FORTH AN ORDER
FOR THE real. STUFF"
Yesterday was the day Of the year for forming
resolutions.
/, seems to be a fad for clubmen business men.
public and those who frequent the cafes Of
the uptown hotels to form resolutions th' day
previous to New Years Day. and then wontonly
tread over them the next day. Yesterday was no
exception to the rule about the formulation OF good
principles; to-day will doubtless see these prin-
cples ruthlessly killed. and the noble impulse that
prompted them utterly forgotten.
The barkeepers In the cafes frequented by men
about town have grown blase in the matter OF good
resolutions. and when they man who has long
been a steady customer come up to the bar to take
a drink with friend before swearing off, and
hear him say positively over the foaming glass.
yes. old man, to-night's the last for year." he
does grow alarmed and say sad farewell TO
the customer. He only goes on cleaning glass
more diligently and vaguely wonders whether 1t
will be day or a week before the regular Gus
toner will come moaning to the bar"
Him swear off, said the barkeeper in one OF
the best patronzed cafes uptown. in a disguised
tone as he glanced at a regular customer who was
UNDERGOING the annual operation OF swearing OH
and saying goodby the glass forever Him
swear off, Don't you think it, He Is not what you
cali a hard drnker. Don't think ever saw MN
drunk me re IMAM once OF TWICE, pul Hc u" :" e'O'
fellow a social sort OF chap. and he likes a
drink for the sake OF companionship Did you ever
hear about the tine that he swore OH before!
No? | must tell you about that. 1t Is funny
WHAT STARTED THE THING.
You see this chap got the idea into his head
! that he ought to quit drinking. lie was taken
earnestly by the crowd. and the night before the
old year went out he sat 1t out with number oil
friends and accumulated flowing tide lie went
1 MIDI
dreamed OF the experience he was to undergo re
STAYS in the house, and some OF HIS trends de-
clded to make it merry for MIN
"WhIle he was in the midst OF his temperance
protestatons member OF the party quietly siippeu
out OF the cafe and went the clerk Of the hotel.
He unfolded HIM the plan. The clerk ieh IN anu
the result was that five alarm CLOCKS were Sc
cured The friend went up to the reformers room
with these clocks. He placed one, SGT at coon
benin picture; another, set a o,,ock he mt on
a string bon nd tho bed. Another. set at coc c
did pc you ever drink too much apd wake
sfeE an hours 5 ffp e Ised No. We to appre
7 ciate this chaps feeling you mus, hho" ""a' '""'
HAs | said he trundled off to bed feeling happy
He slept Ike log. At o'clock that alarm CLOCK
began 10 make more racket than a street-sweepsr;
Those who were guard heard him ger up anu
move around grily until he iouhI tne a ~,
then heard IA dun crash as the clock struck inc
pavement . o,s. and then
.sVhnu there was moments SUSPENSE anu th,n
IN. hell i'm the office rang. II was not II cochtali
hovoylr a they all supposed. IL was ior lce
water Then he quoted down and went TO steep
| again.
MORE RACKET FROM TIE CLOCK.
al o'clock there was another racket ike
,,,ron load of iron going "A cobhlestone pave
mont Aaain there WAS commouon IN the roo'"
Tho, heard him crashing around the room, ana
,b.u another duh shock below and the dying BUR
r-r-r told them that another clock had met win IN
accident Every one expect ID an order FOR drink
luf lac was too strong Tor hat ana 50 went p"N ~
led again. and once nor" quiet r'lEnru VN'l All
AZ O'Clock iir u.Nf alarm CLOCK hrfhn 10 Iat,l.
H.. 4 suare-drur. Again the sleeper juniper Guy
nt led If. found the clock. bat there was no 't'9h
l,l.,, H.. seemed % De- thinking and al was quiet
'i'h.n they heard him ruumaElig around the room
ii. found another alarm clock. az Two suereSsll :.
,,hlr-r-fr's from below testified ana then ne went
bach TO boa. 49,, ,,s .Lo, q. :,
An was serene fur another hour; and tnrn an p,
o,h.r clock began to- hang away IKE Il s,INo Oh
,r+,st.tr, THAT settled it, Reputable Witnesses
sav that they heard him swear. me Clock " M
,r,sb,I ont of the window Tn" bell In me oIiSe
nm, l,i. ne ir the house We're on 1I"; w Non VI ~,
H.. orevor.d ;he tell II man with very reu
f., that looked ont OF the door ana shd lerceiF.
~. Iov brine me- a bottle o. the real STUN anu se'
u.itk