The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-04-01
AL Sorts Of Paragraphs.

49, va
sin never had great thoughts Of God.
= Vivacity in youth is oftsn mis-.
taken for genius, and solidityfor dull
ness.
= The bay Of Fundy has the high.
est tide in the world. 1t risesafoct
every FIVE minutes, and sometimes att
tains a height of 20 feet.
Prosecutor, will you feline who
was present when the defendent slap
ped you in the face?" "Myself, your
Honor"
- In a New York local court afew.
days ago a Chinaman who was called
as q witness, took the oath BY:
lighting a parlor match and blowing il
out.
= Docter-"What you need, young
man, is change" cPatient-.Then
there is no hope for me, doctor. It
will take all my change to pay your
bill"
-"Ishore does hope, said Uncle
Nose, ''dat dey will git dis heahsnews
photograph trick so fine by Summer
dat a man kin tell wedder a melon is
ripe"
"Have you read that article on
how to tell a bad egg?" aNo, hav-
emit; but my advice would be, If you
have anything important, to tell5a bad;
egg, why, break it gently"
j. W. January, formerly Post
master at Minonk, ILL.,, is said to l5si
the only man living that ever amputas
ted both of his own legs with his own
hand and afterwards recovered.
The present century, tits stated,
has Witnessed the birth of not less
than ffty-two volcanic Islands, of
which nineteen have disappeared be-
meath the sea, while ten I now in
habited.
= In Decatur, Michigan, the pop1=:
lation Of which is 800, the president
of the village council is Mrs. Alma
Sage, and. all Of the town officers, ex-
cept that of official dog catcher, are
ulleu
Il statistician estimates that the
total length Of the telegraph lines of
the world is 9O4, FOL miles, while the
entire extent of wire employedo on Tie
same is 1852, 583 miles, or enough to-
encircle the globe at the equator rash-
eFmore than 1N times.
= The marriage WASH "a monthold,
the young bride and hervisiting moth
er sat watching the clock worktoYard
midnight. "What is that heavy,
broken, uncertain footstep coming up.
the stairs 2" said the mother-in-law
sternly. II guess it's George, mama.
You know he always suffered, and
here of late it seems to have gotsome-
how into his walk"
"Political economy is ticklish
subject. A man has to be wide awake
to understand all about it. For In
stance, the very ideas of capital and
labor" ''Look here! that is simple
enough. Surprising I borrow 500
from you; that would represent capi-
tall. "To be sure.n CITIZEN after :
while you would be trying to get yon-
money back. That would be labor.
= Parson--You are a total abstain
er, I believe, MI. Flint? Farmer
Skinfint-Yes, sir, I be. I never
tasted liquor but once, and that was
to the country fair % years ago. Hez
Hawbuck treated me three times that
day, and I got jest dizzy enough to
let some scamp pass lead nickel on
me. When | found that out | says to
myself, you've had enough ap
amt fetched drop since, nor / all
a-goin' ter!
= The low price Of corn has creatN
a demand for it in Europe, and as
result, shipments have been yS4
heavy, especiallyfrom Southern por
The crop Of the South was far in
cess of it's own needs. AS an instan
of the increase in this export tsa
Port Royal may be cited. Last y
this port cleared 10000 bags Of &
and only 200, 900 bushelso Of corn.
year already 1850, 600 bushels Of 9
have been exported and a shipment
800, 900 bushels is already contrac
for. The South and the West l
contribute to this supply
"W-when I was a b-b-boy, oil
suffering, lying John Stulty used
say, dread the st-story Of G-G-Georg
Washington and the l-l-littl
h-b Ratchet, and l l-l-liked it so
that I th-thought I'd p-p-playit
my father. So I w-went out
ch%-chopped d-down an apple tree tia
he'd taken lots Of p-p-pains with
And when lie c-c-came home and q
ed about it, ]. said: I c-c-cannot tel
father; I d-d-did it w-with
axe and he g-gaye me SUCH
l-lamin' thatI h-hayen't toldt the rt
"Well, Uncle joe saba WASH
to Ills rural uncle from th&
West, chow did you enjoy your
to the House Of Representatives
s'They warn't in session" rs
eyes; I waited nearly ali
for thssss ter to order, but tH
JUS kept tafEin' and laughin'
tin up personal arguments over Pc
tics till, b'gosh, they had wasted
much time that Ireckon they thou
it war too late ter hold er session
= It has long been known that The
are several species of fish that lay
number of eggs during
each spawning season, but nothing
like accurate figures were eyeHSgeH
until the learned DR.. Maunde
the results of his experiments -
He found that the mt
produces 454, ISL eggs every year; the
36,96O; the cod, 3,686,760,
but that the ling, the wonder Of all
e~gg-laying creatures, deposits 1925
625 eggs on an average during each
spawning season!
= Some hopeful spectators who
have been counting unmatched chick
ems are about to start a poultry ranch
near San Francisco which is to be the
in the world. 1t is to reach
it's full capacity in three years, when
il is to nut on the market annually7%