Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1896-05-29

with sweet little yeller goslin'-hair side
whfskers, an also knows how to PUNK
the mandolin, chew pePsin gum an play
Long Tennyson. An law, he is 50 crit
icall
'sHis name was Cadwallader futile, a
good old Philadelphia handle, an ne
was painfully aware Of the awful re-
sponsibility its possession conferred
upon him. When he came he brought
with him that glorious eastern charac-
teristic, an all-pervadin' admiration for
good form. He 'peared to care a heap
more for whaf people would think than
for the approval. or disapProval Of his
own conscious-in fact, with eastern
people 1 Judge couventionality usually
takes the place of conscience. He couldn't
have been bribed to do anything that was
comfortable if it wasn't accordin' to the
dictates Of conventionality, nor prevent
ed with a drawn sword from doin' any
thing that etterkett demanded, no matter
how uncomfortable it was.
off man is built that way s'Pose he
can't help preferrin' propriety to solid
comfort, but, as for me, give me death
great plenty, as the late Patrick Henry
once got of. This yere young man
meant well. I reckon, but ne judged the
manners an customs of Hawville By the
standard of mis- loved Ladieshome
iournalville, an when The two wouldn't
iibe it caused him heap of anguish
This was the Teller I sized up critically
once an never paid no more attention
to afterwards till was forced to de- So"
Ike went on to say that one pleasant
afternoon, along in green-corn time, he,
being one of those persons who are
given to bathin' at certain periods wheth-
er they absolutely need to do so or not,
hied him to the creek in company with
his cute little cake Of pink toilet soap
and proceeded to wallop his person in
the water. Upon emerging therefrom
some time later he was filed with cha
gain to discover that his raiment was
gone from the spot where he had hid
den It.
Our friend made diligent search for
MS trappings, but was unable to discover
hide nor hair of them. Then he sat him
down in a shady spot near the open end
of 4 hollow log and debated with. him
self upon the natural requirements OF
the situation. While he was yet medi-
tating a gang of giggling maidens'
headed and chaperoned by the charm
ing Mrs. Peach, and the gosilng- haired
Mr.. futile, were seen approaching with
the intention of holding what is com
monty denominated a hen picnic, round
about the spot where Ike sat.
The creek could not be gained without
a severe strain on his feelings. The
woods were distressingly open, and there
was clearly nowhere for him to run.
Accordingly, ne gathered himself up
and backed abruptly into the hollow log
and tie picnic party stopped little way
off and spread themselves on the green
sward. From time to time their merry
Laughter foated to the ears Of the gen
tleman in the log without arousiug any
responsive iov in his breast, and anon
the dulcet pIinkity PUNK Of Tuttle's
mandolin resounded on the woodland
air. And Ike never did like mandolin,
anyhow.
oval" he continued, "they spread
their table cloths on the grass an had
their dinner, interpreted with With
sizzums BY futile an cackels BY the
ladies. 1 didn't feel lonesome in the log,
for I had plenty of company. Thar
were eleven thousand big read ants in
thar. too, with their tails afre, an all
the while the people were eatin' dinner
the ants were dinin' on my quivering
person.
THE dinner was over at last and the
merrymakers sorter scattered out Some
of the ladies strayed around pickin
flowers, few went to sleep in the shade
and so or. The wilder an young Tut
tie slid over an sat down behind little
bush beside my log, with their backs
against it An thar they set an spoon
ed an cooed an giggled, while the red
ants went on skinnin' me alive; an that
charmin' young wilder, who only the
night before had Topped her soft little
head over on my palPitatin buzzom an
promised to be mine till the last gasp,
now coyly promised young futile to be
his'n. The log was thin an l heard II
all.