Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-04-27
JUST FOR FUN.

mace Has Cohen ever failed?
he vas had fires; drinks dey
s better.
bis will be lively political year in
Eille. There are Is officers and
candidates.
bid the missionary bring tears to
|eyes of the natives? No, but he
lie their mouths water.
he heroine of a certain sensational
ell was very much agitated. "Her
hth,' wrote the novelist, 'came in
it pants"
be- Why does a woman take a
lis name when she marries him?
Why does she take everything
he's got?
|octor-My good woman, does your
stutter all the time? Peasant Not
| he time, sir-onlY when he at
4 pts to talk.
Pa, have you another pair of legs?"
my son, why do you ask? 1 heard
|Spooner telling ma you would soon
bn your last legs.
he man in the store told our fami-
that the new Easter bonnets ''fill
|bill' and now we are shuddering
hink the bill is coming.
he man who is always wondering
1t the neighbors think of him would
urprised sometimes to know that
y seldom think of him at all.
eacher Now, who can tell me
|ch travels the faster-heat or cold?
IN Bright promptly = Heat, of
rse. Anybody can catch cold.
What do you know of
life of Frederick the Great? Tell
briefly as possible. Student-Born,
Gated, caned, loved, married, died!
|ditor- won't print any such
IF as that. Contributor-Well, you
dn't be so naughty about it. You
not the only one that won't print
|obby-Popper, what do they have
IAN to pray for congress for? Mr..
ry-They don't. He takes look at
gress, and then prays for the coun-
iss CUSHION, Captain, were you
+ boarded by pirate? Captain
rms-Yes. he charged me 81
7 for a hall room on the fourth
n.
ance-Jack Merton proposes in
, letter. / wonder if he really loves
/; he has only known me a week.
, brother-Oh! then perhaps he
s.
ustomer-I thought 1 would drop
o tell you about that hair mattress
sold me the other day. Clerk
7thing wrong? Customer-My wife
nd some hair in it.
Thy does Mrs. Stingyman always
lr that tedious blue dress? Oh, she
, engaged to Stingyman in that
IS, and he says he never wants to
her in any other.
Iother-Come, Fritz, why are you
to day, just when auntie
paying US a visit? Fritz-'Cause,
tie said if 1 was a good boy she
nd sing for us this evening.
So you are thrown out?" remark
he ash barrel. "That's what you
for being crooked" "My crook
ess is not my fault" said the nail,
vas driven by a woman"
unit Dorothy = How many COM
ndments are there, Johnny? John
(glibly) = Ten. Aunt Dorothy =
!, now, suppose you were to break
of them? Johnny tentatively
N there'd be nine.
-adzooks 4 tell you, Younghus-
ID dresses up his pretty wife in
at style. POUNDS That's all right,
her women friends make up for
by giving her a dressing down
enever they talk about her.
evidence that you cali
this gentleman donkey is over
Ginning. Had you not better ad-
the fact? Accused-Maybe / had.
} longer L look at him, the more
bable it seems to me that I did
him a donkey.
enthusiastic Artist-Do you know,I
nted picture of lion so natural
hat it had to be placed behind bars.
-husiastic Author-That's nothing.
rote novel so full of burning emo
l that it had to be printed on as
tos pages for fear of consuming
m.
lamma-Tommy, Pm ashamed of
|. What makes you act so rude to
lr Uncle ROhert9 'Tomnv- Wall