Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1896-11-05

illhhS' le never SLlOheS, anu IL is HIS
firm conviction that Hades is yawning
Tor every man, woman, and child that
plays cards. He is Il pillar of the local
Methodist Church, has publicly de-
nOunced dancing as an invention of the
devil, progressive euchre and pedro
parties as creased poles to the realm of
Satan, and trolley parties as an even
more sinful diversion than any of the
other forms Of amusement to which he
is opposed. one might imagine from
tIIS INA Mr.. james lnch was an I'M
popular man in Parlor City. Such,
however, is not the case. The inhab-
itants point him out to strangers as
their model citizen. and cant va
enough in praise of him. That is be-
cause Mr.. Inch is a sterling business
man, II SO generous and charitable
that his fellow townsmen are willing
TO overlook his radical views on things
In the amusement line.
Mr.. Inch had an experience some
weeks ago that came pretty near
Knocking down with one blow the
splendid reputation he has built up for
himself in Parlor City. 1t was a most
unfortunate experience for Mr.. Inch,
hut it provided amusement for his fell
low citizens for days afterwards. and
some of them are not through laughing
yet.
one bright sunny morning early in
August Mr.. Inch boarded Il train bound
Tns uIlnp Itty --l
way station some twenty miles
from his home. He had gone
out there the night before on bust
ness. had missed the last train back.
ana Il night on a corn huSk mattress in
the local tavern had ruftied him about
as much as he had ever been rufiled in
his life. Mr.. Inch had not been in the
tram hve minutes when he heard n
friglltful racket in the ear behind him,
and on inquiring of the conductor what
1t meant was told that both of the rear
cars were full of lunaticS who were be-
Ing transferred from New York to the
State asylum on the hill back of Par
Tor City.
"They're in charge of keepers. all
right said the conductor. but they
get excited every now and then, and |
tell YOU the keepers have their hands
full. Lor! but they do curse!"
ID you suppose | could go look at
themE' asked Mr.. Inch. who immedi-
ately made up his MUD that it was his
duty rs Il Christian man to go and
RInuE "a fnNN me- 90 -.
these men.
Dunno" was the conductors laconic
response. "lOu'l have to ask the
Keepers"
Mr.. Inch rose from his seat and start
ed back. He decided that he would not
ask permission TO do what was his
plain duty. He felt that the keepers
would refuse him admission Ia the car.
50 he made up his mind to slide in I'M
observed, take Il seat, and watch his
chance to distribute advice to the un-
fortunate. 1t was not n difficult piece
al work, AS the keepers were pretty
busy when Mr.. Inch opened the door
and walked in. and they didn't notice
him Al all. He gradually worked his
way 10 The middle of the car unnoticed
in the bowling crowd of widowed men.
II ensconcrd himself in "A seat beside
II cd-hcaded individual who was
swinging his arms round in most reck-
less fashion and singing in Il shrlll
voice:
This is my story. this is my song,
lr1iSinp tho Snyinp all tho l,,. l>nu,,
over and over again the man sang
the couplet, sandwiching 1t with strings
of oaths, which sent chills chasing each
other up and down Mr.. lnch's spinal
column. He attempted to talk with
the man. but he might as well have
tried TO converse with Il log of wood.
Others with whom he started conyersa-
tionS looked at him so blankly that he
soon realized 1t was Il hopeless task.
ana settling down in his seat, he re-
solved to say no more.
When we get to Parlor CITY" he
figured to himself, IN Just wait until
they get this crew out of the car and
then I'll 80 out myself and 80 home"
Mr., lnch's resolution was the result
Of a little speculation us to what would
happen TO him If the keepers discov-
cred that he had entered the car and
mingled with this crew of violent and
irresponsible men.
At the station in Parlor City on the
same morning that Mr.. Inch boarded
the train twenty miles away stood ir-
teen keepers from the State asylum
waiting for the consignment of luna
ties from Rev York. With them was
young DIR. Blank. ON whose shoulders
rested the responsibility for the safe
transportation of the lunatics from
the station to the asylum. DR.. Blank
was worried. 1t was the first eXpedi.