The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-05-22
TfRIETIES.

-Teacher-What part of the Bible
tells who were our first parents? Dick
Hiclls-The family record.
Have you ever noticed that you
no sooner get one trouble off your
hands than another comes along?
is your overcoat comfortable.
Mac?" Il don't know, l haven't
heard from it since l hung it up
Love me little, love me long"
she warbied. Yes" said he. But
will you love me when l am short?'
-May-"Tamela has pretty hard
luck" "Eva-What now?'' May
Her fancs has broken his right
arm"
Value the friendship of him who
stands by You in the storm; swarms
Of insects will surround you in the
sunshine.
u don't see Jimpson any more"
''YO on are not likely to for some time,
He's got n new camera and baby at
his house,
Allow Il boy to run at large one
year in indoleuce, and you have laid
the foundation whereon will be built
his future ruin.
Say, loan me $40 for about II
week." Cant; haven't got but
FIVE "That'll do-lend me the five
for two wceksm
In Il description of rhinoceros
it is stated that he is powerful beast,
with mouth ranging from an open
valiSe to candidates smile.
Many parents treat their poor
prosecuted children as Il shepherd
-, -,
prevent them from jumping.
-Vexed Mother-''James, how
many more times must ] tell you to
stop making that noise?" james
"Ill leave that to your own Judgment,
| ma"
-"Shoes were BACKED as early as
| the tenth century, says an exchange.
And it might have added that many
of them look as though they had never
been BACKED since.
People don't think l amount
| to much in this concern said the
| office boy as he flied away the paid
bills. but they'd think different it they
knew handled all the receipts"
The Vicar Ito sexton)--"Why
don't YOU see that the seats in the
church are busted now and then,
Tomb.:" Tombs (the seXton)-"I do,
sir; the congregation does it every
Sunday morning, sill"
Farmers Wife-What does the
weather Indications in the paper say?
Daughter,-Cleara and warm. What
does the almanac sayG' Wind and
storm" well, it do beat all how
these scientists Disagree
-Talker-"When l lectured there
was not dry eye in the audience"
Walker-'Indeed, and what was your
subiectr" TaIiler-'I had been ad-
| dressing a school of cookery and
giving ii practical illustration OF how
TO peel an onion"
-Mother-"Well, my dear, | see
YOU are engaged to Mr. BaShful ut
| last" Daughter-"No, he hasn't pro-
| posed vet What? Not engaged?
saw YOU hugging and kissing him
last night" YES, l was trying TO
encourage him a little
1--we got personal letter from
| the editor of the Houston Bugle,n re-
marked the editor of the Galveston
| Trombone, laughing heartily. what
is there funny about it," inquired the
manager. He calls me an ass and
| signs it yours fraternally.'
| "A man may use n wart on the
| back Of his neck for Il collar button:
ride on the back of a train to save in
tcrest on his money until the con
ductor comes around; stop his watch
at night to save the wear and tear;
! leave his Il" and IT. without II dot
or cross to save ink; pasture his
mothers grave TO save corn; but a
man OF this kind is gentleman and a
scholar compared to a fellow who will
take a newspaper, and when asked to
pay for it, puts it into the postotii ce
and has it marked Refused