Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-05-13
JANE AGAIN.

JANE AGAIN.
Oh, Jane, the mem'ry gives her pain,
The day that she a pebble hapt to strike;
While her wheel, without it's load,
Slid away across the read
And her golden hair was hanging to her
bike. Indianapolis Journal.
A new play was running through the
head of Henry J. Byron, the dramatist,
as he was walking through Pail Mall,
when friend stopped him, and said:
L am in grief?'
What is it?'' asked Byron hastily.
Il lost my father last week" said the
man.
TOO bad-too bad" said Byron, with
an air of absent sympathy. Every sor-
ry." Then he walked on, and continued
to think about his play.
Three weeks later he happened to be
again in Pail Mall, when the same man
came up to him and said
More misfortune"
''Eh?' said Byron absently.
Il have just lost my MOTHER said the
man lugubriously.
Dear mer' said the dramatist petu-
lantly; you lost your father only Il little
while ago. What an exceedingly care
less fellow you are!'
'lays considerably more than a million
eggs" 1T is mighty lucky for the cod
fish that she doesn't have to cackle over
every egg" said the student who came
from a acknowledgements Journal.
During the Zulu war of 1879 l went
shooting with a friendly Boer (says Maj
Gen. w. G. f. Molyneux). He asked
me:
What have you got in that bag-your
dinner?"
No" answered. cartridges"
Whereat he roared with laughter.
You Englishmen must be very rich.
They cost slXpence apiece here"
Where are yours | asked, not see
ing the joke.
In this he said, tapping his double
barreled rife.
You don't intend to shoot much
Two spring bucks are as much as I
can carry"
Suppose you miss?'
Nobody misses when cartridge costs
siXpence.'
That was the conversation, and it
taught me much; it may, perhaps, teach
US all how we were beaten by the Beers
in 1881. The Boer does not waste his
ammunition. He will aim and take down
his rife dozen times, until he is salts
ned he Is going to get something for. his
cartridge.
My friend got his two bucks. l fred
five shots and got one.
-:o:-
Perhaps one of the most curious and
touching episodes of forgetfulness on rec
ord is that of the Able Bouillot. con-
demned during the Reign of Terror, and
reSpited at the last moment
He saw an unfortunate woman, whose
name had just been read from the fatal
list of victims for the day, fall fainting
to the ground, and he hurried to her
side, supported her to the tumbril waiting
in the court. seated himself beside her.
and consoled and encouraged her, till
they reached the place of execution:
then saw her mount the scaffold, and
followed absent-mindedly in his turn.
As the knife was about to fall he was
seen to start.
Good heavens! And 1 was respitedr'
They were his last words.
Prospective boarder-"What are your
rates? Landlady-"Seven dollars per
week if you do, and four if you do not
Prospective boarder-"Do or don't what
madam" Landlady-"Ride a WHEEL
Baltimore American.
Rather an amusing scene was that at
the corner Of Sixth and Main streets
Monday afternoon. A young man stood
on the pavement holding an umbrella on
which were painted the words Rain
Wanted an advertisement for an UNI
brella firm. He had stood there prob
ably ten minutes when suddenly from an
upstairs window a bucket of water was
dashed on the umbrella, crushing it and
drenchlng the unfortunate young man.
What he said when he recovered from
the shock was plenty.-Cincinnati
TimeS-Star.
Out at Arlington Heights there is an
Ill IL
eXcellent veteran or the war, pensloner.
who often wears his blouse of blue and
Grand Army hat, and who on occasion
takes people up on the heights and ex-
plains to them the wonderful view spread
out before them. Not long ago, the Bos-
ton Transcript says, he performed this
pleasant service for couple of young la
dies, who were much interested in his
discourse. He had with him the fine old
military field glass which he always car
rles to the hilltop, and on the descent
he CHANGED to remark to the young ladies
that he had carried it all through the
service
''All through the service said one of
the young ladies. musingly: ''What for3
To look at the minister?'
And the veteran is still WONDERING
whether 1t was of any use to fight. bleed
and die for ones country after all.
An Edinburgh lawyer was given to
swearing. One night his small bow was
sitting beside him, studying arithmetic
The father broke out, What on earth
ai!s you? why can't you sit still-wrig-
Cling and writing every minute?''
Its all your fault blubbered the
boy
why is it?"
Cos | asked you last night how much
a billion was and you said it was a
d lot The teacher asked me the
same question today and l told her the
same thing. And that's why | cant
keep still. Judge.
-:O:-
The funniest instance that I ever knew
of Observation-Disclosures was this: An old
man, now dead, who was a great CON
noisseur of china, was out at a friends
house for dinner, and when the SOUP was
placed before him, he picked up the plate
and remarked
This is very good cninar And then
turned It upside down to see the mark
on the bottom, the SOUP, of course. 60
ing into his lap.-London Answers
-:O:-
A party of six young men stood at the