River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-07-09
BARKER'S BICYCLE.
N. Y. World.

Barker is an old friend of mine, and
this story is not told with any malicious
intention. Not for the world would
do anything to rupture the bond of
friendship which has existed between
US for many years.
4 have had talk with Barker about IL
anyway, and he says he doesn't mind,
provided / handle the thing in a neat
and intelligent way. and do not exag-
gerate. which / shall certainly be very
careful not to do.
Barker is employed in bank during
the day. tie has never made Il very
clear to me just what the nature of his
occupation is in that institution, but he
can be seen at any time between the
hours of ten and three seated on a high
stool and waving a long black ruler.
/ am informed that he uses the ruler
once In awhile to draw lines with, and
even puts down an occasional figure
In a large book that is always open
in front of him; but this is only here
say, and as 1 have promised TO confine
this narrative strictly to facts l would
rather not make any positive state
ment about IL.
But while it may be well to give some
short insight into the ature of Barker's
daily pursuits and the general tenor of
has existence. il is by no means essen
tial TO the full comprehension o. the
events with which this story has to
deal, as the scene is laid entirely after
the set OF sun. at which time Barker
ceases 10 be an ordinary individual and
becomes a bicycle fiend of the most des-
perate description. e..
Bankers bicycle Is a machine of the
most approved pattern. and equipped
with all the latest appl ances for Sc
curing speed. safety and grace. There
was another point. however, on which
he experienced great annoyance. He
could never find device which would
exercise a sufficiently startling effect
on pedestrians. and make them jump
out of his way in as lively manner as
he would like.
a bell amt worth a cent. you know, .
he would say to me. People are get
ting so used to hearing them that they
don't pay any attention 70 them. |
ran over three little boys. dog and
an old lady last week, and it's getting
TO be a nuisance"
said / thou yht it was. and that
had no doubt the three little BOYS, the
dog and the old lady also thought so.
''It's an outrage" said Barker. "when
a man can't go along the street with
out being tipped over by people VINO
don't look where they are going. There
~ 80 10 4. -
what want on my bicycle is some sort
of = thing that will show people who
go rushing around th. streets at night
that they don't own the whole town.
Il don't mind telling YOU. though. :"
added Barker. .'that il will take a pretty
smart man to invent something that
will ill the bill. You see. il has got 20
be something out of the ordinary run.
The only way I can make them move
now is to yell at them. and there's too
much work about that"
''Well. Barker" said /, 81 am not an
extraordinarily smart man. but il veil
ing at them makes them move / can fix
you"
''IIow?'' said Barker.
Garry phonOgG1ph." said l.
Barker stood for a few moments in
profound meditation. Then ne slapped
me on the back with every appearance
of great enthusiasm.
Perkins" said he. you're an in
ventive genius. Nov. here I've been
pulling my brains for a month about
this thing, and couldn't hit on a simple
little scheme like that. I'll go and get u
phOnograph right away"
Theirs one thing about il. Barker. .
said /. "and that is that monographs
cost a good deal of money"
''What do | care for that?" said he.
I'D rather pay a hundred dollars than
be constantly in danger from those
reckless people"