Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-23

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When the sea son opens we claim the flag.
In June we've got nothing to say.
In August of second place honors we
At the end we take what comes onr
way.
philadelphia North American.
How did young Downey come by the
title OF major?'' why. easily enough.
Don't you remember that his Gather
was a clip! ud%e
'They say the bicycle is injuring art"
Eyes; the man who owns good wheel
can't waste his life spreading paint on
canvas. "-Chicago Record.
Maude-Would you marry Freddy il
he asked you to? Bella (airily)-I can
only answer that by saying that he
wouldn't be single now We're I so fool
ish.
Ball one!'' yelled the umpire s'tfood
eyev' shouted CHIMNEY Strike 0ne.'
the umpire called. Oats his odd@
eye" explained Chimmy.--Indianapo
Journal
Mabel understand that there We're
only square dances at Mrs. Flippit's
small and early. Maud-Yes; there
wasn't men enough to go round
Judge.
Mrs Wiggles-Was that good box
cigars, Ephraim, that l bought for your
birthday? Mr.. Wiggles (craftily)-I
never saw a better box.--Somerville
Journal.
awful accident at Jones' yesterday"
$50? didn't hear of it." Jones hit
his thumb with the hammer and imme-
diately exploded with rage, while his
wife burst into tears" indianapolis
Journal.
Bill the Biffer-Whats d object OF
dis organization Nv yours, mister? Mis-
sion Worker-To rescue the fallen, my
man. Bill the Biffer-Well, don't talk
ter me. I'm no bicyclist.-Roxbury
Gazette.
"Frederick," said she, don't let the
enough to learn to walk" "Old enough
to learn to walk! Why, she hasn't even
learned to ride bicycle yet."-Wash-
ington Star.
'There is no use denying it," said the
young man, who uses slang indiscrim-
inately. "Cholly Chuggins has Wheels"
'Really?" said the girl from Boston.
What make are they"-Indianapo
Journal.
Miss Prettie-Mr. Ryder is SO enter
tanning! He seems to have come in
contact with SO many people. Mr..
Wheeler (viciously)-Yes, indeed. You
should watch him on his bike.-New
York Press.
Il beg your pardonr' she exclaimed
solicitously. II didn't mean to step ON
your foot" Lord bless you, miss" re-
turned the man in the blue drilling
blouse, 81 didn't know you id."-Som-
erville Journal.
II understand you stood for whole
hour in the doorway last night talking
to the policeman, Katie?' "Shure, you
wouldn't have me sthand there for an
hour and say nothin', ma ."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Her husband is a little bit wild,
hear" well, think he had right to
be, when he came home and found she
bad traded off his last summer suit for
n lot of potted flowers, don't YOUR
indianapolis Journal.
II shall have to give up going on the
stage" "Why sou my hair is COM
what pretty soon my trainer
will be unable to drag me about the
fioor."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-And did you call at Monte Carlo
while you were at Nice? She-No; papa
called on him, believe, but from his
disappointed appearance when he re-
turned to the hotel, think Mr.. Carlo
must have been out.-Public Opinion.
"How the wind bowls to-nightw said
the melancholy boarder. Il shouldn't
wonder if it had the toothache," sng-
gested Mr.. Asbury Peppers. Tooth
acheY Yes. Have you never heard
Of the teeth Of the gale?"-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Slowman-There is one thing feel
glad Of All the love letters ever
wrote to the widow are destroyed.
Fligll-Are you quite sure Of that2
Slowman-Quite. You see, / never had
the courage to send them to her.-New
York Herald.
A mother. trying to get her little
daughter of 3 years old to sleep one
night, said: Dora, why don't you try
to go to sleep| Il am trying" she re-
Piled but you haven't shut your
eyes, well, can't help it; dey comes
unbuttoned."- Answers.