davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

Mrs. Graymare-Do you remember the
night you asked me to marry you? The
moon was full
Mr. Graymare-so was .I-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

Mr.. Hanna's barrel feels very much
bungad up.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

dPd, WHAT IS a bTOher
"A man, my son, whose chief effort i,
life is to reduce his customers to tina
financial condition expressed by the sig
niflcant term of broke For this reason
Harry. he is called broker. Washing
ton Times.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

General Harrison was reluctant to be
terviewed in New York the other day,
but when pressed with the information
that the Democrats were claiming Indiana
he quietly said: mo, 1 think Indiana
will go Republican" Rather tame for a
man who knows about what the facts are.
Cincinnati Enquirer
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

Now, Johnnie, go and wash your face
Auntie will call this afternoon
But what if she doesn't ?"-Brook-
Ign Life.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05
Beautiful saItair.

What's at Saltair today? Fun for
everybody. Grand ball tonight.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

Georgie?''
Georgte-"Teacher caned me because
was the only one-boo-hoo-able to an
swer q question today"
Uncle-''What was the question:?
George between sobs)-"Who put the
bent pin in the teachers chair."-An-
swers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

The Single Tax campaign in Delaware
was we'll conceived and has been carried
on with great earnestness and evidently
With effect. 1t is preposterous TO pretend
that these speakers, who are generally
men OF intelligence and character, create
any more disorder than other campaign
speakers. The fight that is made against
them is simply an acknowledgment that
they have disturbed the usual course of
of Delaware politics, and if they had done
nothing else they would be entitled to
praise for this Philadelphia Times.
Tom Reed took occasion in his first
campaign speech to make clear two i'm
portant facts which are anything but
pleasing to the NcI<inleyites. He declares
the financial question to be the issue, and
he admits that Republican chances. are not
what they were two months ago.-New
York Journal
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

Showman-''This is a picture of the Is
relites crossing the Red sea-
One of the Audience-'But l don't see
the Israelitesr'
showman-"O they've just crossed
overI''
one of the ,Audlence-"we where are
the Egyptians?''
Showman-"They'v just gone under!
Say, how much will you take to take your
money. back?"-Picll- NIe-Up.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

Miss De Pink-.I will be glad when
George and l are married and he can have
a home of his own
Friend-"He boards now, / SUPPOSE"
Even their coffee can't be anvtllina ii h, f
hot water and burnt peas. because he has
to chew real coffee half the time to make
up.N-New York Weekly.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-05

Deacon Goodnan-s.My boy, do you
know that this is the Sabbath? l hope
you are not going a-fshing with that hook
and I:ne?'
Boy-"No, sir; I'm only going to see II
there are any wicked, Sabbath breaking
fish in that stream over yonder. If there
should happen to be, suppose it wouldn' t
be wrong to punish them by pulling them
out, would it?"-Boston Transcript
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13
DESPERATE AT BULUWAYO.
Capt. Brands Force Narrowly Es-
capes AnnihiIafiOn.

BULUWAYO, April 12.-Details have been
received here of the encounter with the Meta
beies by Capt. Brand, as the result of which he
suffered reverse and was compelled to ask
for assistance from Buluwayo
The Matabeles surrounded and attacked Capt
Brands column, consisting of 130 men, which
had been sent to relieve Gwanda, twenty-eight
miles south of here, on the Tui road. Can't
Brand formed a laager for the purpose of Of
fering a better defense against the attack
Some desperate fighting ensued The enemy
were found to be we'll armed and they direct
ed strong and well-aimed Martini rifle fire
against DR.. Brands Maxim guns with such
good effect that it became disabled. Capt
Brands ammunition also ran short, and the
herce attack of the Matabeles continuing the
situation OF his force began to grow desperate
they were finally obliged to fight their way
through the beleaguering enemy's lne They
succeeded In cutting their way out with a loss
OF hye troopers killed and sixteen wounded
1t is estimated that $50 of the Matabeles were
Killed. in response to Capt. Brands message
calling for assistance, relief force of 25O
men, with artillery, was dispatched as quickly
as possible. This force met Capt. Brands COL
umn returning. The rebellion In Matabele-
laho seems TO be spreading, in spite Of the
vigorous efforts that have been made to sup
press 1t. The enemy's forces come and go
within short distances of Buluwayo, and the
anxiety here is most keen, and there are
many fears expressed of an attack by the en-
emy in force. Confidence is felt that Bulu-
wayo will be able to offer a successful de-
fense. The coming of the relief force from
Mafeking will, however. be greeted as q well
come assistance in the possible case of an at
tack.
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13
A COMING COMPETITOR.

The farmers of the United States
have seen the last of the prosperous
days when they fed the world. They
have staunchly given their support to
policy that has declared warfare
against buying the products of the
people who bought their products and
thus forced the opening of their for
eign trade with other countries capa-
bic Of producing food supplies and
their agricultural development Eng
land penetrated the table lands Of In
dia and tapped their wheat fields, and
English capital aided the opening of
wheat fields and cattle ranches in Ar
gentina. Our farmers have stupidity
defied economic laws to enrich men
who styled themselves, "manufactur-
ers," and are suffering the economic
penalty.
Nor is there any prospect of relief
On the contrary, the rapid opening Of
the interior of the clark continent"
brings a new and formidable competi-
tor into the field, whose possibilities
of production are enormous, and which
must be taken as factor into any cal
culations made for the near coming
years. The Review of Reviews pre-
sents this forcibly IN a map, i'll which
the United Kingdom is compared on a
proportional scale with the English
possessions in South Africa. A dozen
United Kingdoms could be carved out
Of this territory, and leave the posses
sions in East, West and Central Africa
untouched. To this must be added the
possessions Of Germany, the nation
sharing the true colonizing spirit with
the French colonies will ever be for
midable competitors, as their people
are traders, not developers; but there
is enough territory developed and de-
veloping in fertile regions to make the
future look dark for the present mar
kets of our farmers. A thousand-mile
railway already penetrates the En-
| glish possessions, and other railways
connect the Boer settlements with
ocean ports. It is a golden key that
has opened this domain, but agricult-
ure will follow in the footsteps of the
miner, and remain to furnish the solid
basis after the mines are robbed Of
| their stores.
Commenting on the future Of Africa
| and it's trade, the London Times says:
What can be made of tropical coun-
| try with large desert areas, but with
a teeming, industrious native popula-
ton, under the guidance of Europeans,
with a network of railways, with ex-
tended systems of irrigation, a
stable government and other ad-
vantages lacking in Africa, may be
seen in the case Of India, though the
total area is but 100000 square miles.
But on this area lives and works pop
ulation double that Of all Africa
More than ever now, and still more in
| the future, must the American farmer
| bend his wits to the solution of the
problem of the maximum of product
with the minimum of cost.
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13
AT THE THEATERS.

Dan1 Sully's Michael Nolan is a gem of
character acting worthy Of a better setting
than 1.-The Corner Grocery" But it is alto
gether too late to quarrel with that old store
after patronizing it for so many years. Mr.
Sully shelved this play in a way during the
past three or four seasons, hoping to hit
upon something new that would prove equal
ly profitable, but his new ventures did not
meet with popular favor. So he has returned
to his old standby, and has done wisely,
for The Corner Grocery" seems to be as
popular as ever, judging from the enthusi-
astic demonstrations Of the large audience
assembled at the Grand opera house last
night.
Sully's Michael Nolan, is a hearty, joyial
ana unctlous an old Irishman as one could
hope to meet. Mr.. Sully merits emphatic
praise for the fidelity of his impersonation
ranging from the broad strokes-such as dia-
lect and action-that portray the Irishman.
10 such minor detail as the spasmodic mo-
ton indicating that Daddy Nolan burnt his
nnger while tamping down the tobacco in his
pipe These touches of nature give life to
the picture simple as they seem
The story of 'The Corner Grocerv" hoe
oeen told too many times to bear repetition
in print, but told from the stage it possessas
the same interest Mr.. Sully's company con-
trlDuteo adequate assistance. That admirable
exponent of the Teutonic character. or what
many would call the funny Dutchran ,,
Dan Mason, is still associated with Mr.. suIIv.
Mr. Mason is as comical and satisfying as
ever. Miss Kate Michelena deserves sneciaI
mention for her vocal efforts She possesses
clear, musical soprano of considerable VOL
ume ana unquestiona5le cultivation. The
other members Of the company were accent
able "''ep'-
Ihe sale of seats opens at the Metropolitan
opera house box office this morning for Hi
nenry minstrels. who will play an engage
ment of four nights and Saturday matineo
commencing Thursday April 16.
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13
THE DRIFT TO BELLAMYIsM.

Our Republican semi-socialist breth-
rem do not seem to sense certain in
consistencies in their position nor the
tendency of their policy. For two years
past we have had from them pathetic
lamentations Of falling prices and fierce
denunciations Of the Democrats as the
cause. We have their platforms this
year ringing with charges against free
trade, and shining with the promises
of rising prices that are sure to follow
their complete restoration. This neces-
sarily assumes two things; that high
prices are a good thing for all, and
that it is in the power of congress to
increase prices at it's pleasure, if not
directly, at least indirectly, by creating
conditions under which they will go
upward.
Price has two sides; one seen by the
person getting it, and the other seen
by the person giving it. The disposi
ton. even Of Republicans as individu-
ais, is to regard high price as an ex-
cellent thing when it is being received,
but quite an undesirable thing when
being given. We are not aware yet
of any declared policy Of that party
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13
WORK FOR TODAY.

The duty of Democrats today is
marked out for them SO clearly by
their opportunity, and it finds them
so eager and jealous for performance,
that words Of advice or encourage
ment from any quarter are superfiuous.
Saturdays work in the Republican
convention has supplemented fifty our
party's reconstruction in favor Of a
united Democracy. All is as it should
be. Democrats are heartened, conf
dent, enthusiastic. 1t is their intention
to put in the field ticket which shall
not only represent the Democratic
party of st. Paul, but one that will
also stand as a concrete witness of
that party's fidelity to the cause of
good government. Such a ticket will
receive, beyond question, the support of
majority of the voters of this city.
All that we need is to urge the Dem
Ocrats who assemble at Market hall
today to leave nothing of their work
undone, to trust nothing to accident,
and to be swayed by nothing but con-
siderations of public duty. Put none
but the best men on guard. By the
best men we do not mean those of
any particular social standing, of any
special occupation or position in life
We mean men of character OF honesty,
of absolute fidelity to their standards
Of homer; whether they are mer-
chants or bankers or traders or clerks
or men WHO earn their daily bread by
manual labor. In the glorious liberty
and equality that are the prerogatives
of Democracy, we ask only for true
men; men who believe in the Demo-
cratic party; men whose mission in
public office will be to serve the peo-
pie rather than themselves.
Let us have, then, such a man as this
to head the ticket. Give to the people
candidate whom they demand, whom
they both trust and honor. Look the
city over and select men of experience
probity and intelligence for the assem-
bly,. Let each ward name its best
man for alderman. Remember there
will be more strenuous fighting on this
ground than anywhere else In some
respects the assembly and aldermanic
tickets nominated by the Republican
convention are strong and shrewdlv
put together Meet them by naming
better. The material is to be had: and
unless we mistake the temper of the
convention that meets today and the
sincerity and high sense of public duty
that animates it, it will give to the
people list Of nominees who will
stand as representatives of Democracy
and good government Gentlemen of
the convention, you can name tbe
next mayor and the members of the
next council today. We believe that
you will
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13

mrs J. G. Johnson, of Chicago, who has lust
returned from that country with her hus-
oanu' member of the American board dele
gaCon. Henry H. Riggs, from Marsovan, and
TI Tuoi ~. Shahbaz, from Persia, who speak
dnny ay evening, are seniors at Carleton
auee. Aooresses will be delivered by
80 -, H. rAimer. around the world mis-
9iohary; MRS. l. w. Burch, Owatonna: Miss
ha.iepei Cnaopourn. Minneapolis: Mrs 7 II
Jackson st. Paul; Mrs. j. H. James Man.
kato; Rev. F. e. jeffrey Mrs. B. w. Smith
Minneapolis; Miss Emily S. HartweIl f,eld
secretary; Miss Imogene Sinners, formerly
missionary in Mexico; Miss Hannah M. Grit
nth, Minneapolis; Mrs. A. H. Pearson, North
field.
one OF the features of Thursday afternoon
VIII De memorial service for Miss King.
VINO was associated with Miss Gage, of ST.
raul IN Marsoyan. At the sectional meet
ihgs thursday morning the seniors. youn1
iauieS ana children will be separately ad-
ulesseo. Cnlidren's hour comes Thursday
afternoon, and all juniors of the citv Congrn-
sational churches are requested to be nres-
ent' 1t will be conducted by Mrs. Edward n
Tupper. OF st. Paul. Young peoples hour
comes Thursday evening with Christian
Gnaeayor rally, song service conducted by
" j. Hunt. Miss Carrie F. Saunders gives
the gfeeting and Mrs. ]. v. V. Lewis the re-
sponse. portion of Thursday afternoon will
DO devoted to hve-minute talks by Joel N
ohahDaz, Miss Imogene Sinners Miss p. g.
hartweH and Miss Carrie A. Holbrook state
secretary Y. p S. c. E..
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13
THE CONFUSION sPRE.DS

1t appears that the arithmetical con.
fusion of the Milwaukee Sentinel which
we noted recently as illustrating the
demorahzing effect of protection on
mental processes, was due to the con-
f1dence reposed by that journal in the
statistical and mathematical abilities
Of William Elroy Curtis, a wbilon in
cumbent of the Pan-American sine
cure, whose duties consisted in gath
ering, printing and distributing infor-
nation which no one reads about Amer
lean republics. Mr.. Curtis is now the
Washington correspondent of the Chi
cago Record, with mis- surplus activ.
tiles running profitably into other Jobs
and he drops into statistics occa.
sionally in the friendly way in which
Silas Wegg dropped snto poetry
for the delectation of tie little
circle of which he was the star. We
suspect that Mr.. Curtis is merely en-
deavoring, in his modest way, to OBJ
trude on the attention Of the powers
Che expects to come into their kingdom
next March, his eminent fitness to sue
ceed Mr.. Ford as statistician Of the
treasury department.
But that is another matter. Having
noted Mr.. Curtis frequent excursions
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13

into statistics as displayed in the Rec
ord, the editor Of the Sentinel thought
lessly assumed that when Mr.. Curtis
dropped into figures it was safe to ac-
cept unqucstioningly whatever state
ment he might make. 1t is so much
worked out than to plod through the
details either to reach a conclusion in
dependently or to test the accuracy of
another's. 1t is for this reason,
doubtless. to illustrate our thought,
that, when Maj Mckinley asseVerated
that ''the foreigner pays the tax" the
Republican editors promptly accepted
1t as an economic axiom without
bothering their gray matter to ascer-
tain its truth or error. It was this
blind confidence in the occasional sta
tistician of the Record that led the
Sentinel into the astonishing arithmet-
ical absurdity of reducing the price Of
a book 6S71s per cent.
1t was all about book compiled by
Mr.. Parker in 1892, containing the
speeches and other public utterances
of Mr.. Cleveland; or, rather, about an
edition de luxe of the book, that Mr..
Curtis. in endeavoring to be funny,
made the statement the Sentinel swal-
lowed with such childlike confidence.
Two hundred copies of this luxurious
edition, to be subscribed for at $3.50
each, were printed, and a considerable
number of them were left with the
publishers, which they are now offer
ing for sale at s1.60 each. "This," said
Mr.Curtis, appears to be a drop of 6S7h
per cent within three years, which is
worse than the depreciation of silver
or agricultural products" We have
further confirmation Of Ambassador
Bayard's analysis of the effect of pro-
lection in this proof that 1t affects the
capacity of simple arithmetical calcu-
lations. We had the case Of our own
Kiefer, who insisted that a tax may
be reduced $50 per cent. We had the
advance step taken by Senator Hans
brough, who declared it possible to re-
duce the number Of sheep in his state
nent people as the editor of the Senti-
mel and William Elroy Curtis declar-
ing that the price of a book may drop
6S7A per cent. And the end is not yet
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13
SHOT IN THE FACE.
ohpieasant Ending of West 81.
Paul Duck Hunt.


Louis Duchene and Louis Bernard ara N.
names OF st. Paul youths who have read de-
nsnuuly frightful tales about PauI d,,
Challlu awaiting with a throbbing heart and
an express rifle, in the awesome obscuritv
oI west African forest, the approach of the
grlnning gorilla, the lions deadliest foe heat.
ing his vast chest with echoing reverberation
anu repeating roars in tones audible during
tne following week. This situation was so
Pieasant that the two boys ventured over to
t .he west Side lake yesterday that thew in
turn might beard the savage mud hen in her
na'lFe jungle. Other bearders had arrived
previously. The dark recesses of the mighty
pahyan trees seemed filled with briars and
stealthy nlmrods and light artillery. But the
mud mems had taken offense and flight While
uraWlng two beads of varying alignment unon
'he one duck which was being fatally sur-
rounded by score of marksmen Iouis M
cnele oerls1Vely repeated the vocal statement
characterlst1c of the mallard family. The
artllIery opened fire on all sides. and the two
Doys ned from hail storm of falling twigs
Dut they could not flee from five bird shot
Duchene was struck in the forehead and the
llsnI hano, Bernard in the left cheek
me shot did not strike the bows ewes nor
lnfilct serious wounds. Dr. Sigler removed tbo
supernuous lead. Duchene resides at Eve
street and Fairfield avenue, Bernard at Fifth
anu robert streets. Where the shooter lives
or who he is is not known.
St. Paul daily globe., 1896-04-13

years old and under three. SIS, $40, SIS; STALL
Ion, one year old and under two, $15 $40.
20; ma mare, so6 four r., years old or over with foa
and under four, SIS. $1O IS; mare, two years
old and under three, sis. $40. So; mare. one
Sa snS u9aer twO sl So s5
colts, four in number. of either sex, the
get Of one stallion. The sire is not required
owned by the exhibitor, $25; colts, two in
number, of either sex, any age the produce
of one mare. The colts not necessarily
owned by exhibitor, $40.
registry. Same Class 1. except sweep
geldings or mare and gelding. $40, $15 $1O
single mare or gelding. $15. S10 So.
Class A. Carriage Teams. Single Geldings
mated aWned Sr matched st ed, and
gle gelding or mare. SIS. $40, SIS.
Glass 5-Cleveland Bay and English Coach
sams ags ss5 as Glass Sweepstakes stallion. any
Class 6--English Hackney and Cab-same
as Class S.
Class 7--English and French Coach-same
Glass S-Imported and Native Pure-Bred
Percheron, French Draft-Same as Glass S.
Cis Ciass 9LClydesdales-Same Glass 5.
Glass 10-Englfsh Shire-Same as Glass s.
as Glass 5.
.Ia Class 12nGrand Stallion Sweepstakes Regis
or more OF his get, 800, $50, $25.
Glass 1S-Grand Stallion Sweepstakes Regis
fesea bs t eoaen zen staon showing four or more Of
Class 14-Grand Sweepstakes-For regis
tereo trotting strains standard and non-stand-
Sl; ara; English. French and German coach,
french draft, Clydesdale, Shire, Belgian, Suf-
folk Punch and ponies, stallion any age
leach breed, diploma mare or flly, any age
(each breed, diploma.
Glass 15-Percheron and French Draft
Brood mare with foal at side $40, SIS, IS;
hlly, three years old or over, $15 $40, SIS; fliy,
two years old and under two, SIS, $40, S..
Glass 16-Clydesdales and English shires,
same as class Is.
Glass 17-Graded coaches and hackneys,
same as class 15
Glass 1S-Farmers' Sweepstakes-Registe
orart stallion, any age breed, owned in
Minnesota, having served at least twenty
mares IN the state during 1895, $25 SIS S.
Sweepstakes-Pair of grade gelding or mares,
or mare and gelding, weighing 5000 pounds
or over, to be shown in harness to wagon,
$25. SIS, $40.
Class 19-Ponies CNot to Exceed Thirteen
hands High)-Herd of ponies, five or more,
owned by one individual, $25 SIS, S.
Class 20-Jacks and Mules-Jack, not less
than fifteen hands high which has been kept
IN the state for service not less than one
year previous to the 1st of September and has
proved good stock getter $15, $10 Jennet
with foal at her side, $40, $5; pair mules three
years old or over, SIS, $40; mule two years
old and under three $40, S.; mule colt, S., SO.