The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1896-09-26
Confusion Worse Confused.


and bimetallism, both in Congress, and !
on the hastings; and everywhere taxi
ing the most advanced grounds in fav-
or thereof; for his so doing Mamma
England, pouted out her lips at him, |
while Wall Street and the Rothschilds
declared him crank. But the Major
continued 10 pour out his walls of
wrath upon the heads of all persons
and syndicates found opposing free
silver or Observation-Disclosures that
if allowed to consummate the scheme,
they would destroy the prosperity and
happiness Of the people of this coun-
| try.
And to punish England for this,
more perhaps than anything else, he
mounted new hobby; to wit: High
protection. To be more specific; a
tariff for the sake of protection to
American manufacturers, thinking in
this way, to retaliate on England for
her unjust course against this country
on the money question, SO in the year
Of our Lord, 1890, the Major having
worked himself into the position of
Chairman Of sgThe Ways and Means
Committee in Congress, the rich man
ufacturers of this country seeing the
Majors temper toward England at
that time; closed in on him and took
him bodily; and among them the tar
iff bill Of 1890, known as the ssMcKin-
ley bill' was passed; which imposed
the highest tariff duties OF taxes on
imported goods into this country ever
known to this country.
THIS, while it greatly displeased
England, and punished her. severely;
greatly pleased the rich manufacture
ers OF this country, and put big mon
ey into their pockets; therefore these
big bosses, never ceased to praise the
Major or cry 'sGreat is Diana of the
Ephesians" and for time the Major
seemed to sport in the atmosphere of
the White House. But all this while,
there sat behind the throne power
greater than the throne itself; the
sovereign people OF this great and once
prosperous and happy people. They
soon learned that by the tariff impos-
ed by that ubiquitous bill, the people
had to pay in the last resort-they
| 't''' tfNa'iJ titdb ouSil bd1lll w do d Ida
and that the consumers had to pay it
and never get it back. The consumers
saw that 1t verify did punish Mother
England, much, and enrich the boss
manufacturers more; but that it still
more oppressed the laboring masses of
this country, and made them poorer,
by making it cost them more to live
than before. So, that famous, or
rather Infamous bill, was made the
chief issue before the people in at
least two national elections of this
country; when the bill and its princi-
pies were critically dissected and an
alyzed by and before the people, and
in all instances severely 'sot down"
on by the sovereign people, which
seemed to greatly confuse those high
protectionists; and in fact, carried
dismay to the pockets of the boss
manufacturers Of this country; for
they seemed to think that ssOthello's
occupation was gone" And in 1890,
that bill was repealed amidst national
applause-and the whole country
seemed to repose in the belief that the
costly policy of high tariff taxation,
had received its quietus for years to
come. But 1896 came, and with it
another national election, and a new
issue must be found also. The tariff
had been several times weighed and
found wanting, and unfit for any good
purpose. What then should the new is
sue be?What could it be other than the
money question? and so the Gods or
dained. The Republican convention
declaring for the single gold standard
until the great commercial nations of
the world would consent that we
might have bimetallism:i. e. gold and
silver. The Democratic platform de-
elaring for both the gold and silver
standard.
The issue itself, is a plain one, the
gold standard against the gold and
silver standard. But the strangest
thing of all was, that the Hanna, or
Republican convention saw fit to take
the Major off of a nest of silver eggs
pretty well Matched: and put him on
a nest of gold eggs, to which he was
not accustomed either by habit or ma
ture. Now, what shall that breed be
called? The people have named it,
''The gold bug BROOD" and so let it
be-
And now the Majors confusion be-
comes more confused. What can he
do? When he attempts to cluck to
his gold bugs, the white hens chick
ems hear his voice and come, but scare
at his bronzed feathers. The Major
tries IN analvza- fo diar,oeo 49, 49,,
dition that confronts him, but he can
not; he becomes COMPOUNDED and an
CRY; and shakes his fist at Hanna, for
making him wet nurse to his gold bug
brood; knowing that he had been
brought up with the white brood, but
sordid Hanna laughs at the poor Ma
lor's calamity and says try again!
Poor man he tries again, but he can't
say gold--all he can say is sssound
money" and ''honest dollar for his
own soul tells him that silver dollar
is sound and as honest as gold dol
lar, and even more so, than gold
dollar greatly appreciated by the sweat
and toll of the poor. And it is now
more than rumored that the Major
has quietly renowned the grooming
OF the gold bug brood, and determined
to fall back on his old hobby, the oft
repudiated protection fallacy. We
suppose in doing so he argues thus;
the gold standard is not congenial to
his nature or his habits or conscience
and that while his high protection
fallacy has been often tried and de-
clared to be inimical to the best in
terests OF the American people and
unit for any good purpose known to
the body of the people, yet protection
must be good for something. God
made everything for some purpose.
Under this belief, am determined to
try 1t again, / am its reputed author.
Who knows but that the Mckinley
tariff bill was proyidentially gotten up
for my special purpose-to make me
President, for it has been found fit for
nothing else.
This reasoning reminds US very
1much of an old farmer out west who
had hayward son, who the father
had tried in all the known crafts and
business of the country, and found
him not worth baubee in any of
them; and last of all the father took
him to an old lawyer nearby and re-
quested the lawyer to take his son and
make lawyer out of him. The law
yer enquired of the father if he thought
his son would make lawyer, the
father replied yes, I know he will
The lawyer again said: My old friend
you seem very positive that your son
Will make lawyer, and you ought to