The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-05-28
Entertaining Summary Of Conference
HumOr.
WHAT WAS DONE ABOUT AMTTSE.
MENTS, BAPTISM AND
EVANGELISTS.

tions of this Church to the Metbodis
| Church South.
Especial Correspondence of the Press
Cleveland, Ohio. May 25.-The maj
who should write up the humor which
SO often tickles the disabilities of these
Whole-souled Methodist brethren. would
not only afford entertainment, bur
would necessarily, ut the same time
throw vivid and pleasant light upoI
the business transacted in this Confer
ence. He would also, by such a course,
Illustrate impressively the methods BY
winch that business IS pushed for ward
occasionally, too, the devious ways in
which proposed legislation is blocked,
and would throw upon his canvas, as
sunlng that he was not devoid Of artis-
tic instincts, the salient idiosynoraeies
OF some very striking personalities. The
| current impress ion that this body has
exhibited bad tenn per is totally erro-
neous. There have been times when
| something Of q strain was felt. and there
WAS one oocasion-one only in the Con,
ference proper-when the feelings Of G
few, including those of the presiding
oalcer, were somewhat unpleasant, pei
haps even i'll natured. Often, too, have
| the proceedings been noisy; strict Pres
byterlans aud other prime religionists,
would have called them disorderly at
such times. 3ut these brethren are
Methodists; hence, demonstratiye, fond
Of speaking in meeting, self-assertive and
tremendously in earnest. and, i.levita-
bly,, the qualities viii oh distinguish the
denomination are domi nant in the pro-
ence. But so also is there in evidence
an abundance of Methodis5ic good hui
NOR. There is keen eye for the ludi-
crous and quick ear for every attempt
at wit, The good brethren have roarsd
with laughter quite as often an they
has, from the beginning, more than coun-
terbalanced both the occasional lack of
courtesy and any strain to which broth
srly feeling may have been put
Very funny sometimes are those godly
men, the bishops. They have fine op-
great help to good feeling when they are
| wise and witty enough to improve these.
| Bishop Warren was less breezy and ge.
| NAL when he presided the second time
presumably-so they say-because the
new elections to the Episcopacy bad not
pleased him. Bishop Foss provoked good
nature by his sled ge hammer use of the
gavel His vigor in this line was reve-
lation. But he had his way and expedit.
ed business. Haven't you learned,
brethren" he said calmly, "that you
can't get along unless you listen to the
i chair?'' The brethren smiled at this,
but they listened to the chair more than
usual, and as result got along faster.
A rare presiding offio err is Bishop Mer
rill, always cool, solemn and correct, vel
ever ready with his little joke. He hap
pened to'be presiding when the table be-
fore him was sold at auction for $500
DR.. Mills of Elmira, N. Y, was the auc
tioneer. Every bishop, he said, had made
bis mark on this table; hence its great
value The first bidder said he wou Ii
offer 500 for the table. if the bishop Their
presiding was to go with it. Here was
Bishop Merrill's chance. ''You CAM
have the bishop" he remarked, "bu1
you can have, with the table all the gooG
things and the others that the Confer
ence has laid upon it," These, 1t il
needless to say, are very numerous.
If every call for change should prevail,
the Methodist Church would be SO trans
| q va yytf To- hat VIZ nj n
look like new craft altogether. But the
first discovery. when this good ship goes
into dry-dock for repairs, is that she
doesn't need any repairs, or scarcely any.
Hence she almost always come out about
as she went IN. This means that the
Conference usually distinguishes itself
less for what it does than for what it de.
clines to do. Its chief function is to say
no. Most of the proposals for change
are buried in the committees. Ii the
committees act, the question then is,
how many of the reports from these
bodies the Conference will have time
30 consider. Generally it hasn't time to
take up third of them. Which Of the
many shall BIZ thus favored is determined
by sitting committee, which might
more properly be called committee Of
undertakers; for it's chief business is te
lay things decently away. Finally, too.
tho whole Conference goes into the un
dertakiDg business. and the table fairly
groans under the weight of he many
things laid upon it. But the church
doesn't groan and the brethren continue
to have good time even while this end
less succession of funerals is in progress.
With the memory of Omaha only foul
years off it would hav6 boon strange in
deed If Bishop Fowler and Dr. Buckley
had not so come together as to awaken
laughter. At Omaha, with Bsh OF
Fowler in the chair, Dr. Buckley wanted
to SPEAK. AS he often did, and still does
but Bishop Fowler thought him not II
order After long wrangle, however,
it transpired that no had a right to b.
heard. Today" said the triumphant
Doctor, sis that Scripture fulfilled whic'
promises deliverauce from the snare O.
the Fowler. - YES" retorted the quick
-witted Bishop; "but what of that othe
promise which says we shall also be de
| livered from the noisome pestilence?'
| Such a roar of laughter as followed
wave succeeding wave for some minutes
could occur powhero but in Methodist
| Conference: and this year, by the hrigh
initiative of the same good natured Bish
| Cd, the Conference got another cha &c
| to laugh at DR.. Buckley. No o ne speak.
so frequently as he, and no voice, though
| dazens are appealing for recognition