The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-05-01
CLEvERLY OUTWITTED.

Two Plotters Are Beaten at Their Own
Game.
A professor of mathematics in one of
our colleges, whose head was so full of
sober mathematical problems that you
would never suppose him capable of u
joke, went one summer to the -Adiron-
dack mountains for scientific purposes.
He took with him, as a companion, u
younger brother. who had just gradu-
ated, and an old hunter for a guide,
cook and provider-general.
Passing one day clearing in which
some fine peas were growing, they pur-
chased q small quantity to give relish
to their dinner in the forest. Not long
after, fatigued by hard forenoon's
work, they pitched their camp on the
borders of lovely lake, and the pro-
fessor said:
"Come, now, let's have those peas"
While he was taking some observa-
tions down by the lake, the old hunter
and the young graduate prepared the
dinner.
After awhile the professor noticed an
unusual chucl<ling between the student
and the backwoodsman.
Suspecting some trickery, he strolled
quietly toward the fire, as if endeavor-
ing to get a new point of observation, to
watch narrowly their proceedings.
Supposing that the professor was deep
in equations and angles and mathe-
matical lines, they relaxed their eau
tion, and he observed that they were
making wooden spoons with their pen
knives to eat the peas with, and that
here was conspiracy to rob him of his
share.
Saying nothing, he walked back to the
lake shore, and, picking up one of those
large mussel shells which are found in
all our fresh-water lakes and rivers and
will hold more than an ordinary spoon,
he fitted q split stick to it for a handle
and clapped them both in his pocket.
Then sauntering back, in order to pre-
vent them making very extensive prepa-
rations, he kept around until the dinner
was cooked.
His presence restricted very much
their operations, and they were able to
finish but very shallow spoons, after all.
The peas being at length done, they
were poured into the common dish, and,
10! it was soup.
To prevent the possibility of the pro-
fessor's getting even a small portion,
they had cooked them SO that the peas
were swimming in water.
Seated on the ground, they each COM
menced stabbing with his penknife at
the peas. After this ridiculous process
had been carried on awhile, to the ill
suppressed merriment of the student
and hunter, the latter whipped out
their wooden spoons, and flourishing
them over their heads with loud
"Hurrah!" made dive at the peas.
The professor looked at them mo-
ment; then, coolly drawing forth his
huge mussel shell and stick, and fitting
them together, began to ladle up the
soup.
The hunter and graduate stopped at
this new wdevelop1nent,with their spoons
suspended half way to their mouths,
and gazcd, with blank countenances,
at the quiet professor, who, without ut
tering word or changing feature,
diligently piled his shell.
BY his accurate and mathematical
mode of ladling, he was enabled to take
up an enormous quantity at every dip,
and in a few moments every pea had
vanished.
The whole operation had been carried
on with the sobriety with which he
would have reduced an equation.
When the last pea disappeared, he
looked up as much as to say:
"Is there anything more to eat, gen
tlemen?"
This was carrying out the joke SO
capitally that the two conspiratora
burst into laughter, and the old hunter,
as he licked his empty spoon, confessed
that for once he had been outwitted.--
Golden Days.