Evening star., 1896-12-18
Lr,s YANKEE WAYS.


From the Buffalo Courier.
The Courier's private Pekin wire brings
an interesting account Of the audience
which the Dowager Empress gave to L
Hung Chang last week on his arrival in the
celestial city. The viceroy, approaching the
efuigent presence of the throne on his
hands and knees. lightly brushed the dust
from her majestys diminutive sandals with
his lips and. rising to kneeling posture
asked: How old are-?''
The absent-minded earl did not check
himself in time. and his face grew ashy
pale as the eyes of the dowager empress
transfixed him. The courtiers held theil
breath. and few who hated Ii sniggered
in their ample sleeves.
What nonsense is this, LIP" asked the
empress How dare you ask how old
am? You have my birthday book, haven't
your"
Pardon, pardon, o Light of Asia,' cried
Ii. For the moment I thought was ad-
dressing Victoria of England"
Well, that was stupid of you. I'm sure, u
said the empress, drumming impatiently on
think I look like that dowdy old trump
Goodness, no. said Ii, but she was the
last thing in the way of royalty that
saw on my travels, and for an instant
forgot where I was at
Where you were what?'
AT. That's an Americanism, you know.
Say, you ought to go to America. 1t knocks
the eye out of any country 1 Travelled
through
rs that an Americanism, too, that opti-
cal observation
Sure. Say, you can talk any old way in
America and 1t goes. See? All you want
Is thoughts and you can let your mouth
rake just the language it likes to fit the
thoughts. It's out of sight when you get
onto it. But, talking about America If
you go there it'll kill you dead to"
There was a Shrek from the dowager
empress. "Guards Guards!" she cried.
''Oh, what will? What win?"
Whatll what asked Ii, petulantly.
Whafll kill me dead?' And the dowager
empress shu ,dered.
Lii uttered a blood-curdling American
oath under his breath. Then aloud he said:
Nothing would, l guess 1 simply meant
that you would be amazed to see the tall
buildings in America-twenty stories high,
ten times as high as your majesty's imper-
China half as high as the highest of these"
The dowager narrowed her eyelids and
smiled superciliously. I'VE always held
you in high esteem as a liar, L." said she,
but you seem to have added to your ac-
complishments during your sojourn in for
eign parts. What'll you take?'
oh. any old thing
What's that?
Pardon again, o Daughter of Heaven. I
meant that l left the matter to your un-
paralleled self. But if l be commanded to
choose, let 1t be a gin rickey."
What in the name of all that's celestial
is that?'
Its hot stuff, o empress; a new drink
lately invented by an American statesman.
Lo Feng Luh can mix it to your sacred
majesty's exalted taste, to say nothing of
my humble and wretched one"
Lo Fens Luh retreated backward out of
the presence to mix the gin rickey, and Ii
continued: Your omnivorous-I mean om-
niscient majesty may doubt me when
speak OF the tall buildings of America but
even they are not so amazing as the ele-
vators in them. l had heard tell of these
machines, but experience of them surpasses
the widest preconception. They are out of
sight,
There you go dropping into America
again. Let's see, how is it you say it? Oh.
yes. 1tll kill you dead if you don't cure
yourself of that habit
That isn't just the way they use it in
America said Ii. You ought to make it
more tigurative, SO to speak"
We'll, l didn't mean it in 4. figurative
sense at all, Ii. l meant 1t literally. Please
to bear that in mind. Ah there's Lo with
the drinks What do you call 'em? rick
etts?"
"Rickeys; gin rickeys Here's to you. O
Light of Asia, Flower of the Sun. Daugh-
ter of the Gods, and SO forth: and to Ameri-
ca, and to Mr.. Hickey. Down you go! May
you live long and pro-wugh-br-r-r-''
The heads of the dowager empress and
Ii were tipped back and were only tipped
forward again when the glasses were
drained. The dowager empress thought
fully smacked her lips, and looked critical
ly into the g.ass.
Well said Ii, its great, isn't it?"
Il don't think" said the dowager
empress. A wild burst of laughter broke
from the lips of Ii Hung Chang He
doubled up on the floor and rolled mirth-
fully at the feet of the dowager empress
She, with wrathful eyes bent upon him,
commanded him to speak. Are you mad -
she cried.
don't think shrieked Ii, and rolled
again in convulsive merriment, don't
think. That's too good Why, that's an
awful Americanism!"
was about to say, when you interrupt
ed me-, snapped the dowager empress.
that ! don't think like your friend, Mr..
Rickey's, drink
oh said Ii.
Yes. Oh You've got into too free a
way of interrupting and doing the talking
yourself, Ii. You are banished from our
presence for thirty days"
And that is why and how Lii Hung Chang
Is in disgrace for disregarding the formali-
ties In the dowager empress palace