The St. Johns herald., 1896-07-25

The bold, bad caterpillar soon,
 All snugly hid from view,
 Will murmur to the summer girl
 Il have drop on you.
 -Pittsburs Dispatch.
 Beliefs it hard to love man! Julia Don't worry about that. It is easy enough to marry one.-New York Her aid.
 She-They must have quarreled yes terday He-What makes you think SO? She-He's so attentive now.-Chi- cagO Record.
 Friend-DO you always wait for in- spiration before you write a poemr Author-NO. I always need S1O.-- Someryille Journal.
 "Johnnyw said the nervous mother, "1 want you to dry up right this min- uter' T can't" walled Johnny. Bill just soaked me."-IAdjanapolis Journal.
 Funny thing about this telephone" What's that?" If you swear into it they cut you off, and if you don't swear they never hear yOu."-Chicago Record.
 When CT man declahs he doan' re- i gret muffin he ebber done," said Uncle Eben, Ines either got CT mighty good conscience, CT none at all."-Washing- 1 ton Star.
 1 He (earnestly)-Am I the first man you ever kissed? She-Of course you are. How stupid men are! I never knew one who didn't ask that.-New York Herald.
 The deaf man now no longer needs
 To walk the railroad ties;
 The scorcher finds him on the street
 And waits him to the skies. Indianapolis Journal.
 Stylus-I understand Versifer has be- come quite poet. Buckram-Some- thing like that. No one can under stand the stuff he writes-Philadelph North American.
 Walter-Poor Dibbles! They say he got pair of beautiful black eyes lately. feel sorry for him. Tom-You needn't, He got very handsome girl with them. London Answers.
 Olive-Fd rather spend the winter here than the summer Violet-I don't see how you can say such a thing. Olive-Why, then we could at least have snow man.-Judge.
 The catcher (roughly)-What do you know about baseball, anyhow?-The umpire docking at the bowling rooters} Nothing; Pm the umpire, you know Philadelphia North American.
 Aunt-Why did you stare at that gentleman so rudely, Ethel? Little Ethel-Oh, he's drefful man; he never goes to church or nothing. I heard father say he was an acrostic.-Judy.
 After they had departed she wept bitterly. Suddenly she ceased. It had occurred to her that perhaps her tears might fall on her new shirt waist and spot it Ocably.-Cincinnati En- quirer.
 Johnny-YOu're the meanest, hateful est, spitefulest thing know. Tommy An you're the crabbedest, ugliest- Father-Boys, boys! You forget that | your mother is in the room.-New York Press.
 Calmly-During the hot weather managed to keep cool simply by the exercise of my will. Fussey-Oh, I've tried that. It makes me all fired hot trying to exert my will.-Philadelphia | North American.
 q am very much afraid that Jimmy | is in mischief" said Mrs. Snaggs to her | husband. II can't hear him." replied | MT. Snaggs. That's why I think he must be doing something he ought not" Chronicle.
 Howland-I understand Scorcher and | his wife have quarreled and separated. Davis-Yes; he precipitated affairs by telling her she couldn't ride wheel half as well as his mother did.-Phila- delphia North American.
 His Merited Punishment-'T cured Giddington of talking to me about his smart little boy" How did you do it?" 'I told him all about the eleven experience I have had with hay fever."-Chicago Record.
 What do you think of the bicycle craze? Great thing! I never took so much good exercise before in all my life" "Why, didn't know that you were riding" 'I am not, but have to cross the street once in a while. ."-Chi- cago Record.
 Millie-It looks as though the bicycle would drive the horse out of existence. Leavitt--Not bit of it. The more bi- cycles there are the more they will need horses. Nlillie-What for? Leavitt- Ambulances.-New York Herald You must take care of yourself" was the physicians warning. Don't worry about anything, and don't over- exert yourself" 'I suppose you mean hat I must take a vacation trip" No, what I mean is that you must re- main away from the summer resorts" Washington Star. Il