Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-04-02


Washington Star.
How was the bride given awayY
by her complexion.'-Ch Chicago Rec
ord.
Gazley-"Is 1t good to eat at night be-
fore going to bed" Lazbey-"Be def
mite, man, is what good to eat?"-Rox-
bury Gazette.
Old Bachelor-"Now that your sister
has married, it is your turn" Young
iady-"Is that meant as an offerr'-
Lustige Batter.
"Thous hast pretty wit" quoth the
monarch. AYE, and dry humor," re-
piled the Jester. Whereupon the king
pushed the button.-Philadelph Rec
ord.
After the Ball.-First Sweet Thing
Jack says Miss Passe didn't look twen-
ty last night" Second Sweet Thing
mo. She looked thirty-fve!'-New
York Tribune.
Corroborated. = New-Yorker = "Are
Philadelphians as slow as NEWCOMERS
think they areT Philadelphia (sur-
prisedl-'Do NEWCOMERS think we're
slow Y'LTruth.
ut Is sad" said one girl, "that so
many men nowadays have a great deal
more money than brains" Yes"
sighed another; land SO little money at
that."-Washington Star.
kitty, why has our French Revolu-
ton Club called an extra meetingY
"Oh, Nan, we are so bothered; we can't
find out whether we're read two vol
umes or three."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Belle-"You know Jack Giddiboy, Of
course; don't you think he is just out
Of sight" Sadie-"Indeed he is! q
very personifcation of the old saying,
out of sight out Of mind Boston
Courier.
TITS we'll your heaviest wraps to wear
When you a-skating go,
Fen though for frost you do not care;
They break the fall, you know.
Washington Star.
II understand your daughter has
given up bicycle riding" Eyes. She
sold her wheel as soon as she found out
she couldn't wear high-heeled shoes on
it with any degree Of success. "-Chica-
go Evening Post.
Hoax-'Timley went to Alaska pros
pecting for gold, and found lead in
stead" Joax-"Ah! In large quanti-
ties, suppose, and valuable" Hoax
mo; in small quantities, and fatal
Philadelphia Record.
Mamma-"What do you mean by
taking that piece Of cake? When you
asked for it didn't say mop Tommy
"You did; but last night heard papa
say that when a woman says no she al
ways mean yes."-Truth.
Dolly-I hear Mary Antique was O
great belle at the dance the other even
ing. She told me she danced every
dance. Polly-Oh, yes. Mary's just
the kind of a girl to be a belle at leap
year dance.-Harvard's Bazaar.
Here's a motto that's as certain
As that two pints make quart:
Time and tide will wait for no man,
Little, big, or long or short.
Philadelphia Item.
She-Oh, yes; know that you think
that woman is a silly creature, whose
head can be turned by mere finery.
He-It is sure to be turned IL some
other woman passes with the mere
finery on.-Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Greene-Of course, you read all
your husbands stories? Mrs. White
(wife Of the popular author)-Oh, dear,
no. They are nothing to the stories
he sometimes tells me after he has
been out of an evening--Boston Trans
crlpt. .A.
Office Boy-There Is a man outside
who wishes to see you. Business Man
Didn't l give orders that l was not to
be disturbed? Office Boy-Yes, sir; but
this is a very mildlooking man. I
don't think he would create q disturb
ance.-Truth.
Maud hear proposing parties are
all the style this winter. The girls do
the proposing and the one who pro-
poses the best gets the prize. Have
you been to any? Ethel-No; but I
had proposing party come to me the
other evening. How do you like my
rfng?-Harpers Bazaar.
Bellefeld-A cynical writer remarks
that a wedding always brings happi-
ness to two, the florist and the clergy
man. Bloomfeld-He forgets the ia
Their of the bride, especially IL the poor
man has half a dozen other daughters
ON his hands.-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph. osn s,,o,
.srhe natural history class VIM now
write down the names of twelve Arc
tic animals" said the teacher In mo-
notonous tones, Little. Johnnie dashed
off the following and handed his slate
proudly to the teacher: elk seals, five
polar bears and one walrus."--New
York Evening Sun.
"Willie," said the boarding-h
mistress to her young son, 81 was
ashamed of you at dinner. You kept
your arms on the table during the en-
tire mealv' Eyes, mamma" was the
hopefurs reply; 81 didn't want to give
the boarders chance to say there was
nothin' on the table."-Yonkers States