The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-04-16

ter. And you really intend giving such
a what-do-you-call-it machine as pres
emit to your father? L am quite sure
[ don't care; but l bet your father will
be displeased, simply because he will
not be able to make head or tail of so
complicated thing"
you have always fault to find with
my propositions" she pouted sensi-
lively; always. But l take the bet.
What is it to be, for kiss?"
"A kiss! as though an every day affair
like that were an object for a wager"
My wife laid the index finger of her
right hand onto her little nose, her ia
vorite attitude when in a reflective
| mood.
1.-THE other day." she said, 81 noticed
| a splendid brooch in SIS show window;
just the thing"
And l a rocking chair at F's, such as
| 1 always longed to possess 1 added.
1T is bargain. Rocking chair against
brooch. If your what-do-you-call-it
machine does its duty, you will get your
brooch; if not, you are bound to buy me
the chair. Shake on it,"
"All right" my wife acquiesceG in
triumphant tone
She really purchased the extraction
machine, which, to judge from appear
ances, was pretty neat and brightly
polished little affair. The birthday ar
| rived and we solemrly assembled in her
fathers house and handed him the
present, but he looked rather sur
| prised.
well, WE'LL" he exclaimed. "iust
look at this! A filtering machine. Did
you ever! [ must confess l like the
idea, for our city water is not very
clear and the supply is poor. 1t may
come in handy"
What are you talking about, my
dear father?" interrupted Anna excit-
eddy, and in an almost angry tone,
you do not really mean to say that
| you think our love is so trifiing as to
buy you a filtering apparatus for
| birthday PRESENT."
The old man looked from one to the
| other of us embarrassed.
God forbid" he said, feelincly, chat
| 1 should think so i'll of my dear chill
dren, but, perhaps-yes, L know, that's
| it; one of the newly invented patent
electric night lamps, eh?"
L grinned. Anna looked daggers at
| me.
ut is the new coffee machine, father.
DEAR" said my wife's sister Fan
ME, whose head is always full of mis-
chief. You throw the beans in on one
| side and cafe au lait' already made
| flows out on the other. Plain as dav-
light"
Fannie, my child" said I, with ali
the dignity l could muster, "please 90
and bring some hot water and the nee
essary ground coffee, and give us
| chance to demonstrate to father the
utility of this wonderful machine"
Fannie did SO. In the meantime the
| old man walked several times around
the table shaking his silvery locks and
casting suspicious chances at the COM
plicated thing before him. He looked
positively frightened.
Say, Otto" turning to me with an
anxious face, 81 hope that thing will
not explode? We read every day dread
full stories about these new-fangled
patents in the papers. Please be care
full, children, I beg of you"
"Why, father, the whole proceeding
is so simple" my wife pleaded, defend
ing her present, lust read what it says
| here! l take the water" taking the YES
| sci with the hot water from Fannie
land pour it into the boiler like this,
see, just so. Aw!" she suddenly cried
| out. She had scalded her fingers.
1t was my turn now. please step
aside l said, going up to the table, 'let
me try. You will injure yourself worse
with your experimenting. Hand me
| the water, Fannie; that's it, thank you,
dear! And now I'll light the lamp.
POUNDS, the stuff won't burn"
ut is prepared non-intlammable alco-
hol for medicinal purposes" said father.
well, then, send for some that will
burn" I cried. out of patience, after
had wasted dozen or so matches in the
vain attempt to ignite the lamp.
81 know what l am going to do. l
am going to sacrifice my bottle of eau
ut COlOSnc. dllHle tNCid'llcu, mag
unanimously, what is the difference!"
She ran off and pretty soon returned
with the odorous fluid, emptying it into
the lamp after l had poured out the
indicated" alcohol.
The cologne burned all right, and
pretty soon a low, melodious singing
| could be heard, showing that the ma
chine was beginning to do its work.
My wife's countenance was all aglow.
Now she was happy, only father looked
still anxious-like and worried.
Children, better not go near it," he
admonished, "only yesterday three lit
tie girls were terribly scalded, you
know"
Pretty soon the steam seethed inside
the machine, the cover fell upon the
lamp and the fame was eXtinguished.
I looked sideways at my wife with a
| grin.
According to the receipt" l said
maliciously, "the coffee ought to be
| done now, but l fail to smell the usual
! aroma. Doyou?"
| la In 10, 10