The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-11-18
JAMIE As A JOURNALIST.
HOW HE IS INTRODUCED TO THE
YOKOHAMA PUBLIC.
Temporarily Holding Down the Tri-
pod-Hugh Gum One of His Assist
Capabilities of the Substitute.
yokohama Box of Curios.)

themselves very much mistaken when
they learn who is to fill the editorial
chair during our absence. At a great
expense we have secured the valucless
services of Parson Jim Wilder, one of
the cannibal missionaries from Homo
lulu, and also one of the band known
as the "Three Wild Men from Borneo"
he being much Wilder than any of |
the party. The fact of Jim being ele-
waited to such an honorable position
requires an explanation on our part |
to our readers, and we shall therefore |
try and tear him to pieces, so they can
realize next week why they are suFsr-
ing more than usual.
WHO HE IS.
AS stated, he is a Kanaka mission
airy and was formerly hulu-hulu bal |
let dancer to the Court of Kalakaua, |
but got too fat for the WORK and left
the country to save his life. Coming
to Japan he found a party to go into
wilds of Borneo, and they bought the
for a couple of months, and then
leaked down to Hongkong, where the
seive leaked so badly that she WAS
sold. When Jim arrived at Bo"neo he
was well received by his brother can
nibale and was offered the job of King
if he would pay bonus of 500, so ne
returned to Yokohama to earn tho
money, and the only job he could fad
where owners would risk thir prog
erty was as editor of the Box.
HOW HE LOOKS.
He looks much better than ne is
and as far as looks goes would BE- II
worthy successor to Bro. Austen III
running $1,000 steam yacht. He has
a clerical appearance that matches our
own-but his heart is more porous
and not so well shaped as ours AMI his
appetite is much better.
HIS DUTIES.
Jim is what is known to the profes-
sion as provisional editor-he works
for his provisions and feeds on glory.
He will earn plenty of glory, but Ton
this paper) his friends will have TO
supply the provisions.
HIS TALENTS.
He has three trunks filed with tai
ents. and as he will get out three num-
bers of The Box he will dump one
trunk into our columns each week. He
will editorially give recitations, sing
songs, spin yards and do everything
possible to fill up the columns, and
then walk around the streets and have
people point him out as THE talented
editor of the Box" He has secured
Harry Sharp, Fortuna Andreis, Hugh
Gum and several other shotguns as
assistants. He says that he has al
ways wanted to run paper, and that
he cares more for the honor than the
i, few hundred dollars it will cost us to
let him do it. If we escape a libel suit
during his occupancy of the editorial
chair we will be more than delighted.
Joking aside, we are delighted that
"Jeems" has kindly consented to take
our place during our absence, for he
is young man--not too darn young,
either-possessing just the talents for
a literary journal like the Box. He
has an air of reverence about him that
will suit our missionary readers; Il
gift of humor that he can utilize to
advantage; descriptive qualities in his
writings that will be interesting; Il
fund of pathos that will make the
angels weep when they listen to him.
, He must be respected as an editor and
be furnished with free passes to all
, places of amusement. free tiffins and
free drinks. The public are invited to
call and see him in his chair near our
safe (Which will be emptied and Sc
curely locked. He gets an imaginary
commission on all printing orders
that he brings in-but we warn the
public that all monies must be paid
to Manager Smith. formerly of the
Honolulu Star, who alone is authorized
to sign receipts and cheques Parties
not wishing to step inside can look
through the window and see Editor
Wilder's brain in full working order
: On our return from Shanghai we shall
first cable the United States Consul
J General from Nagasal<i, and after
wards from Kobe, as to whether the
atmosphere is sufficiently clear for us
e to safely return to the home that has
: had stain cast upon it by the Yoke
hama Cricket and Ba"e Ball Teams
= who got frost bitten at Kobe.
Sore throat. Any ordinary case may
be cured in one night by applying
observation-disclosures Do;,, pal,,, nc d;,oo+o1