The herald., 1896-04-06

"I have ben busy all through de week
a helpin' to throw boquets to Billy
Dunn, who has jest fixed de whole ad-
ministration for another two years i'll
his runnin' of de headworks case" re-
marked the deputy zanjero, as he con-
graduated General NJ. Fl. Sherman
upon the completion of the new electric
road to the sea with his left hand, while
with his right he fondled affectionateiy
the big Minnesota diamond which is
the most sparkling feature in the make
up of Mayor Robert Pratt of Mime
apolis. You see it's like ds. Dunn as
de heavy weight of de hail has give to
de party a issue to offset de romance
uat de water company, Steve Mott and
Broderick has a refundin' mortgage on
all de people in RAIDERS political kinder
garten, and de fullness thereof. Mott
an Brod. don't own nOthin round here
'cept de conscience of some of de looloos
as gets together and every Monday an
few times in between. De new water
ordinance which we passed bout six
weeks ago proves that, an de sauce
an de puddinll come when it comes to
eDfOrcin' dat new law bout de front end
of July. We have give to de people a
six per cent education which aire much
more than fair fer times like desc.
Don't youse tink? l has to put ice in
my hair now when l realizes how We
jellyfished NJ. =. Snyder in dat jack pot.
We knows all de time which way dc
sweet peas is to grow, an Snyder bein'
a Democrat we couldn't afford to have
him pull de whole persimmon often de
tree wild campaign comm jes a few
short months Off. So we passes de word
all along de line. an de lambs run in de
pasture, jes so easy dat Snyder's lookin'
glass wouldn't hold his face, twas so
big. He was DRAWN checks to his
self fer big money fer two days cause
he'd won so easy. Tom Savage, Jim Ash
man and George Pessel, who was last
year wild Snyder give a special dispen-
sation to sit in de council from Grover
Cleveland, was hypnotized, strictly
proper mind you, to run along with
Freeman G. Teed, Frank Munson and
Sam Kingery in de procession. Dat
left Snyder standin' up agin de fence
wipin' de sweat off his face wild no ice
water, de cash fund bein' den busted,
anywhere dis side of Tucson. Snyder
couldn't see it dat way. an when de
boys got to fallin' over each other as to
who would swipe Steve Motifs octopus
de hardest, Snyder laughed in his sleeve
till de soles fell off his SO Douglass
shoes. Den me an de rest of de tigers
as does politics cause dere amt no
zanja work in winter closed in on dc
enemy. De first play was to have RAIDER
veto de reducin' ordinance. De mayor
consulted me an 1 thinks it over to in
form his lordship, as dey say down in
Wes' Nirginy where de zanjas never
runs dry, dat de administration would
land me outside de breastworkS if de
law was give back an de nine was rip
ped up de neck by Republican mayor.
Snyder was away testin de Arizona
brand of Fiesta as provided by Magin-
mis-, de Irish giant of de Santa Fe, dat
week an we unS as never sleep had
good easy sailin'. Me an Teed. an
Munson an RAIDER caucussed among
ourselves while de shoe man from de
oil district was higherf1yin' It down
by Phoenix, an we puts up a combina-
tion through which yuse couldn't stick
a hairpn. De ordinance was returned
by de mayor wild de councifs own re-
quest, an de odder ordinance fer next
July was passed. so swift it made Steve
Motifs back teeth fall out on de floor.
Dat was de slickest piece of work /
done dis season. Eff Snyder had a in
sisted on his forty per cent cut in de
first place, he had George Stockwell an
Frank Munson in de door. He fell
down thinkin' about shakin' out a
royal flush outen de cigar machine
which aire next to hisself on Broadway
near Third. an me an de water COM
pany an odders has afallen heir to
sumthin' like 100000 When dis dep
uty don't find a leak in de pipe, it's be-
cause somebody's oil has stopped up de
Zanja.
DE circus tax is to be slipped down
because it's too high, and it keeps too
much money tied up in de savings banks
Besides preventin' your children an
mine, and Tommy Savage's, an Col.
Teed'S, an Walter Parker'S from be-
in properly raised an decently enter
tanned. l believe in de education of Gle
young, ef de education entities you an
your family and de hired girl to a re-
served seat. Den, again, de city's
poor Stockwell's fnancierin' havin' Civ
en- Col. j. b. Nevelle aliftin his biz dat
will make NeVelle de councilman from
de annexed to- yourself district. We
need de circus license money fer buyin'
freejoles fer de peoples in de street, an
de park departments bein' as lection
is again pilin' on top of us high and
dry. Eff we shut de sawdust people
out to de race track or de University, de
cash fund is out so much an de peoplell
give us hell for again trowin' 'em down.
Besides circuses has got to have hay
an grain for dere live stock an gro
ceries fer dere dead stock an maybe
shoes fer de elephant an rhinocerous,
an ] know places where desc tings kin
be got cheap right now an 80 per cent
off for cash. DO yuse cave? No?
Well. go down to my fren' de China
doctor, round de corner, an he'll fix
yuSe up dose of fly bitterS ASH put
yuse next. see?"
MY fren' Queerduck ParalyZer Hunt
ington, who bosses Jack Muir an de
long wharf around has just telephoned
me from Washington, where he is
atrainin' Jim McLachlan to be de next
governor, to go straight to Santa Mon
lea, where we has a leetle side election
acomin up purity student. Queerduck
ParalyZer an Senator Jones wants to
have a board of town trustees down by
de 100000 harbor as won't drag de
railroads into politics. Bob Eckert as
used to put up de milk of human kind
ness down OH Court street is aheading
de program down by the sea, an he
must be drowned Bob has a lease for
five years or more on a revival tent
down near where Sherman and Clarks
new road dovetalls onto de Arcadia ho-
tel, an eff he don't run de place right
we're agoin' to boycott his make of
Swiss cheese sandwiches. Wen win
dat little fight or I'm a Rube, which
Huntington an Jones says l amt in
weather like dis
My side partner Chris Buckley. is
a-comin' to town fer de Fiesta. along
wild Nose Gunst an some odder swell
people from Frisco. Tom Rowan III
know when desc folks II get here, an
all cards to de reception III have to be
countersgned by Tom Cuddy, Martin
Marsh an Governor Markham. John
w. Mitchell was on the entertainment
committee, but he was took off cause
Buck an Gunst can't afford to be doin'