Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1896-06-17

wasn't rattlin' his horns agin the sides
Of the corral none. He has been here
In Hawville so long that he regards
himself as shook down an settled for
good, when. without warnin', he fms
O ycarnin' sproutin' in his bu2ZOm, as
It were, that whisky won't satisfy.
You SEQ, he's been born back thar in
little old two-by-four, hide bound New
England, whur 1t is all rocks an hills
nm scashOre an stinginess. Wal, he
left Connecticut when he was cub
of IA or such matter an hadn't never
even thought of goin' back till this yere
:, ,homcsicknessc comes upon him. He fights
1t, but 1t keeps on CROWN like boilln'
rice He thinks of it by day an dreams
of 1t by night, an at last his handkerin'
10 go East grows so strong he can taste
It. He loses his appreciation for his
daily grub an hungers for the bur
dock greens an clam chowder an sim
ilar heathenish fodder of the East The
prairie grass wavin' in the breeze re-
minds him n great plenty of the ocean.
an n little raid that the white caps
makes on superfluous citizen recalls
To MIN gale nt sea
Directly he begins to spend most o.
the daytime bumped up in a chair in
the shade of his wigwam, gain wist-
fully off across the prairie like te was
tryin' to view the other shore. Bims-
bye, he gives out an takes 10 his bed
He gifts sortcr wrong In the head. too.
He hain't what you'd call crazy; part
rf bn ha fe- OF Irht
ngin he kinder wanders. or course
his friends do tho square thing by him
We do our best to cheer him up al
make him forgit 1t. We gifts up n
lynchin' bee for his special entertain
ment, an makes poor Hop the high
duke of the occasion, transpOrtin' him
to the scene Of the festivities In n
buggy full OF pillows. 1t was as pretty
n lynchIn' as I ever witnessed, but the
poor cuss didn't pear to take no inter.
est In 1t, but jest looked sad an' sighed
ut hain't no use, gentlemen says
he, after we'd got him back to his
Onely bachelor home. 1T hain't no Use
1 appreciate your thouGhtfu.ness, but
It don't touch the spot. This yere
ycarnin' continners to rise up In my
buzZOm in spite of all can do. Seems
like I can't think of nothn' else.
want to see the hills an rocks an the
sand an the sea aEin. l want to smell
the salt an taste the brine. On.
wish I had n lobster!
I'VE wagged our heads plenty sad an
sympathetic as we trudged away.
"'No two ways about it, says I TO
the rest of the prominent citizens
That thar poor dub is gittin' worse an
worse. an the first thing we know he'll
either go gibberin' crazy or break away
from his good resolutions an stampede
for The Eastr
"'IIis maiady Is slmbly plumb fool
ishnrss,' says Grizzly Johnson, who is
sage. Iiut that don't make no DIFF
ference He wants the East an the
ocean like the Texas man wanted his
revolver. l offer he suggestion that we
raid the stores an see If we can't un-
earth come Of them thar Holsters he's
A-pinin' for
''Accor,liu'. we makes search. None
of the sIorrkccpcrs pear to know whai
lobster is. much less possess any. an
we are plum discouraged till the genial
proprietor or the E0Ugh House restau.
rant makes discovery in his momcry.
"IohStcIY says he. 4 reckon I'm
cursed with n can cf that thar animal
] gifts it couple of years ago packed
by mistake in Il case of ether canned
goods an haIn't been able 70 get shct Of
81 since. My patrons hain't proud, but
when they seen the picture on the can
they all said they wasn't drunk enough
10 indulge in no such look!n' varmint,
an the last | knowed it WIS kickin
around solncwhur unopened
''Hc digs ii ont, nm We cxa mines II.
"1 don't know 30 much about this!'
Eays |. This yere varmlnt is mighty
weird an unhnly lnokin'-pears to be
bright red an some II or - feet long.
nccordin' to the surroundin' landscape
in the picture. What part Of the bur
cussed monster is in the can, anyhow:
~ hain't admirin' Its appearance
none. myself says Hon. PUNK Skee.
i don't object to sOakin' poor old hop
with whisky till he gifts all kinds OF
snakes, but II shore looks like playin'
1t mighty low down on him to feed him
Bech diabOllycal lookin' reptile as this
He calls for lobster, all right enough,
but mebby he's wnnderin' In his mind
m don't kpow What he u tAlkin' about