davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
A DAY IN BED.
An Experiment That Few Healthy People
Have Time or Disposition to Try.

An Experiment That Few Healthy People
Have Time or Disposition TO Try.
One often hears somebody say with
glee that he is going to take day off
or day in the country or day on the
river, but seldom if ever that he is 60
ing to take day in bed, and yet day
SO spent when one really needs day off
is one which deserves rcd letter record
in his history, according to writer in
the Pittsburg Times. One lies late of
Sunday mornings and tells what lux
ury it is not to have to got up at the
usual hour. but one never knows the
glory OF such thing till he spends a
whole day in bed. To enjoy it one must
not be sick nor pretend to be. He must
be in fairly good health and free from
trouble or worry of any sort. Then he
is entirely himself, and it is the only
place in which he can be.
As soon as he dresses he comes under
restraint, not merely physical, but
mental, for no ono can wholly escape
tho influence of his clothes, whether
they be good or bad, in fashion or ont.
For ages character has been identified
with clothes and will be for ages. in
spite Of all that has boon or will be said
against it. One may not always be con
scious Of the influence but it exists all
the same. Not q trace of it is felt when
ono is in bed. There he is free. He can
twist and roll and kick and throw his
arms about as he will. If he should do
the like elsewhere, there would be sus-
picion of his sanity. A day in bed is
not a day of rest merely, but of liberty.
He has the infinite for his own.
Not a few Of Pope's best lines came to
him while in bed. Thomson composed
his finest description Of natural scenery
while in bed. A like thing doubtless
may be said of the humorists. There is
little doubt that the liveliest jokes cur
rent were thought out while their au-
thors were in bed. The blood flows free
ly then, digestion does its perfect work,
the mind is relieved Of the care of the
body, the imagination and fancy roam
the earth and skies and gather of their
treasures, the inscriptions ON the tablets
Of memory come out, and incident and
adventure recur in light of their own,
suggesting new ideas and relations. One
never knows what life is till he has
spent day in bed, in full or fair health,
without thought save those which
come smiling to him in his rest.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
cRuDlTY in EUROPEAN ART.
Americans Have Satisfied the Hunger Fo
New Creation.


New Creation.
Is there no art in Morse's telegraph,
in Fulton's steamboat or Colts revolver
or in an American cultivator, but only
in a morbid projection upon canvas of
Dante's insane portraitures of sup
posed but impossible torture of lost
souls in hell or the ever recurring
monks of tho wine cellar lewdly gliding
the waiter girls that bring them their
inebriating cups? Two-thirds of all the
so called art of Europe consists of pic
lures that are both deniable and I'M
true, designed to commemorate events
that never occurred or to preserve our
reverence for ideas which the human
mind no longer seriously entertained
American art must be the embodiment
of American ideals and not the reflex of
medieval ideals which no longer COM
mand the sincere respect of even the
European mind The art of Europe is as
crude in its way as that of America. be-
cause it does not relate to ideas that are
now or ever again can be potential over
the human mind.
The most powerful and artistic fiction
of modern times, perhaps of any period,
whether judged by the extent to which
it has been read, dramatized, acted, inn
itated and translated or by the depth of
its revolutionary effects ON society, is
"Uncle Toms Cabin 1t drew much
of its power from the hunger the world
felt for new art that should be Amer
lean. Irving wrote volumes on England,
Spain, Mohammedan histories, etc., all
of which are passing into waste paper
because they have not the originality of
true art, while his name lives only in
that small portion of his work whose
theme was American-viz, the legend
Of Sleepy Hollow, Rip Van Wrinkle and
Diedrich Knickerbocker. Humboldt
showed that travel and observation were
fine arts, and that the hest field for
their practice lay in America, Audubon
lifted the study of birds into fine art
and found no field necessary to its prac-
tice but America. Lowell, Mark Twain
and Bret Harte have lifted American
humor into an art so fine that the Euro
pean world itself is inquiring whether
all real humor is not exclusively an
American art. -Gunton' Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
ELECTRICITY AND WAR.
Tho Telegraph as an Agency In Prescrv-
ing Peace.


In the course of his farewell speech
at the dinner of the British chamber of
commerce i'll Paris Lord Dufferin, the
retiring British ambassador, said
"But whatever may be the ups and
downs Of the diplomatic career, every
member Of the service, no matter how
unpromising the post he occupies may
console himself with the reflection that,
if he is industrious, prudent, and, above
all. single minded, the bread he casts
upon the waters will not be lost, and
that, perhaps, when he least expects it,
his day will dawn, for, though, like ev-
erything else, the outward aspects of
diplomacy have changed since the be-
ginning of the century, never have the
nations stood in greater need Of the
thing itself than at the present moment.
What do we see around us? The whole
of Europe is little better than standing
camp numbering millions of armed
men, while double row of frowning
and opposing fortresses bristles along
every frontier. Our harbors are stuffed,
and the seas swarm with ironclad navies,
to whose numbers, am forced to adj
NIT, England has been obliged, in self
defense, to add her modest quota Even
In the remotest east the passion for mil
itary expansion has displayed an unex-
peoted development.
In fact, thanks to the telegraph, the
globe itself has become % mere bundle
of nerves, and the slightest disturbance
at any one point of the system sends n
portentious tremor through its morbidly
sensitive surface We are told by the
poets of old that when Zeus nodded the
golden halls of his Olympus shook to
their foundations. Today it would suf-
flee for any one of half dozen august
personages to speak above his breath or
unwittingly to raise his little finger.
| and, like in a heaven overcharged with
electricity, the existing conditions of
unstable equilibrium which sustains the
European political system would be up
set, and war, waged in circumstances
of greater horror than has been hitherto
known to the experience of mankind,
might eventually envelop not Europe
alone, but two-nay, all the four-con-
tinents at once, since in every one of
them representatives and offshoots of
the contending nations would of neccs-
sity be brought into collision
1t is to prevent eatastrophes of this
kind that we meek, civil spoken and
mild hammered persons have been in
vented. Looking ut us, you will perhaps
say that we are q poor and feeble folk,
and that our calling is sorry preserva.
tive against such dangers; but, such as
| it is, it is the best device that human
ingenuity has been able to discover.
After all, a very thin wire proves u per-
fectly effective lightning conductor and
for over so years, thanks to this unpre-
tending agency, an unbrollen peace has
been maintained between your native
land and the country with whose pros
perity and welfare your own interests
are so closely associated "
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
I,ismarok's FatefuI Pipe.

Prince Bismarck is a great pipe col
lector, and tho gem of his collection has
curious history. Many years ago, as
Bismarck was strolling In the suburbs
of Friederichsruh with his two hounds,
he was accosted by Bohemian peddler
and asked to buy plain meerschaum
pipe Of the type that Bismarck most af-
feoted. AT first Bismarck declined, but
tho peddler claimed for the pipe a power
of forecast and told him he would serve
three emperors as minister, and that
three important changes in his life
would be foretold by accidents Detailing
the pipe.
Laughing Bismarck bought the pipe.
Ho has since served three emperors.
Two days before tho historic moment
when he was refused an audience the
stem Of his pipe separated and went to
pieces. Later he Clipped piece from
the side Of tho bowl, and within a
month he was practically dismissed by
tho present emperor. The third sign has
yet to come. Berlin Correspondent.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
Former Slave Market, ConstantlnopIe.

On benches SO placed as to command
good view were tho buyers, coarse
looking Turks, whose calm, searching
gaze seemed to tako in every detail.
The merchant conducting the sale stood
before them, talking and gesticnlating
With great vehemence. He turned to
one of the pens, which was filled with
young Circassian women, most of whom
were very handsome. They were seated
close together on the ground in an atti-
tudo of listless dependency, their white
garments flowing around them, and. as
they gazed up at me with their sad,
dark eyes, felt painfully how they
must envy tho free and happy stranger
who came to look ON them in their in
fanny and misery.
The slave trader came forward, fol
lowed by phlegmatic looking Turk,
and, seizing one of the women by the
arm, forced her to stand up before this
man, who, it appeared, wished to buy
her. He proceededt to inspect her, very
much i'll tho same manner as he might
have examined horse or q dog, and his
decision was unfavorable. He turned
away with contemptuous movement
Of the head, and the slave merchant, in
a rage, thrust back the unfortunate girl,
who sank down trembling among her
companions in captivity. This scene
was as much as we could stand, and we
left the place lurriedly at once. 1t is
well indeed that such sights can be wit
messed no more, at least in Europe
Blackwood's Magazine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
Cara of Rlistered Feet.

Blisters on the feet, which are neces-
sarily very painful, should be bathed
on going to bed with strong salt water,
to which, if they are very tender, it is
an excellent thing to add just very lit
tie vinegar and fine pounded alum.
People who suffer very much in this
way will always do well to wear rather
thick soled boots, having them especial
ly made. as it is most important for any
one who has very tender feet that the
boots should be perfectly fitting. Into
these boots pair of lambs wool socks
should be placed, and these socks should
be thickly spread over with soft soap on
tho inside of the foot of the sock.
If the blisters come up very high, 1t
is wise to let out the accumulated fluid
by running darning needle through
the upper surface of the blister. If it is
allowed to break the surface of the skin,
it is apt to become very sore, sometimes
being very difficult to heal. New York
Advertiser.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
DARKNESS SEEMED FAMILIAR.
Young Woman Did Not Notice That TIN
Light Had Gone Out.

Young Woman Did Not Notice That the
Light Had Gone Out.
They were ON a tandem, and a
straight, smooth road stretched away
before them through tho park for mile
or more. There was darkness all about
thick, impenetrable darkness-which lay
heavy among the trees and betrayed
the fact that tho authorities had neg
lected the electric lights, counting on
a moon that had failed to keep her en-
gagements.
But they did not mind tho darkness.
In fact, they rather sought ont the more
shadowy portions. For there is some-
thing about tandem il it steers easily,
which softens the iron bound laws Of
custom. The riders are so close together
anyway. And if the one on the rear seat
leans slightly forward and the ono on
the front seat leans just little back,
there is no need to sigh for the best Of
hammocks,
The young man on the rear seat had
leaned slightly forward. Moreover, the
young woman on the front seat had
leaned just little back And there was
more ON tho young woman's lips than
microbes.
Suddenly they were arrested by a
shout-it is said that park policemen
never arrest any one in any other way
a deep, full bodied shout that BODIED ILL
"Hil You'll Where's your lamp"
They stopped and dismounted. With
burly policeman in the road there was
nothing else to do.
Where's your lamp?" the officer de-
manded.
They examined the front Of the wheel
together The lantern had gone out.
"Why," said the young woman,
"why, l never noticed that it wasn't
lit. IL must have imagined that we
were in the parlor at home. Chicago
Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12

Matrimony and patiencel 1t is not al
ways perfect combination, is it9
In South Africa the savage tribes
have peculiar ceremony which they
put the matrimonial candidate through
previous to his entering the holy state.
His hands arc tied up in q bag contain
ing five ants for two hours. If he bears
unmoved the fortunes of their stings he
is considered qualified to cope with tho
nagging and daily jar and fret of mar
ried life. Such man would make an
admirable husband. He would not be
upset by the thoughts Of a spring bon
net or grow irritable every time the
steak was oyerdone Tho idea of having
o patience trial for those about to marry
is one that civilized people might adopt.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12

Who taught the bees when first they take
Their flight through flow'ry fields in spring
To mark their hives and straight to mako
Their suro return, sweet stores to bringS
Who taught the ant to bite the grains
OF wheat which for her winters store
She buries with unwoaried pains,
So careful that they grow no morep
Who taught tho beavers to contrive
Their huts on banks, so wisely planned
That in tho winter they can dive
And shun their foes from thence by landY
Who taught the SPIDERS curious art
Stretching from twig to twig her line
strengthening her web In every part
Sure and exact In her design
Who taught the swallows when they take
Their flight before chill winter comes2
The wren her curious nest to make?
The wandering rocks to find their honest
Tho God whose work all nature Is,
Whose wisdom guides her vast design.
Nan secs but part, but what he sees
Tells him this wisdom ia divine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
Renouncing Sin.

There is great temptation to excuse
your sins to yourself None of your ex-
cuses is such as you would dare to offer
on the day of Judgment. Instead of ex-
cusing your sins and trying to palliate
them, strive earnestly to break off from
them. Make the resolute attempt upon
the very first sin to which you are
tempted. Set yourself against sin, and
call for the Spirits power to help you
conquer it. Conversion means renounc-
ing Of sin, and no one has even begun to
serve Jesus Christ until he has declared
war upon his favorite appetites and lusts
and passions. Rev. T. L. Cuyler in
Evangelist
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12

Not what l am, o Lord, but what Thou art
That, that alone can be my souls true rest.
rhy love- not mine, bids fear and doubt depart
And stills the tempest Of my doubling heart.
II is Thy perfect love that casts out fear.
know the voice that speaks the at is I, -
And in these well known words of heavenly
cheer
hear the joy that bids each sorrow fly.
Thy name is love / hear it from yon cross!
Thy name in love; read it in yon tombl
All meaner love is perishable dross,
But this shall light me through times thick
est gloom.
TITS what know of Thee, my Lord and God,
That fills my soul with peace, my lips with
song.
Thou art my health. my joy, my staff, my rod /;
Leaning on Thee. in weakness am strong.
--Borar.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
WHOLE NO. I,24l
WHAT BICYCLES MIGHT DO.
The Many Adaptations Of a Wonderful
Genius.

The Many Adaptations Of Wonderful
Genius
"Well, Jabez, what is the natter
You seem absorbed.
'Lemme alone Pm inventin. -
Doing what?''
"Inventin, / tell you. Got the artists
wheel down fine. His palette is in
front, his easel's behind, and all his
paints ON the cranks-they keep better
mixed that way-and he just wraps his
canvas around the upper bar of the
frame. Seer And haven forgotten his
umbrella.
''Is that all?'
No. i had to give power of thought
to wheel for double bass-kind Of
unwieldly thing. Got over it by making
the double bass man straddle his instru-
ment. Trombones, ophicleides and ket-
tledrums just pack away like boxes in
nest, and Sousa's only got to say q
word and my fortune made in musical
wheels. "
Anything else?"
"There's tho literary wheel-got the
points from Brooklyn librarian. The
book or the magazine is held in place
just this side of the rams horn, and
there is an automatic concern that turns
over the leaves at the exact time With
that arrangement the publishers will
have no further reason to complain that
books are now u drug on the market.
Then there is the sportsman's wheel
He sings his double barrel right under
him, and there's rest If he's pot
hunter, and % place for so rounds of
ammunition, and crib for pointer or
setter, as the case may be, and o game
bag and basket for holding dog biscuit
| for week.
A little variation in the sportsman's
bike and you have the anglers rig,
| down to his green painted hamper with
| the bait in it. The drummer's wheel
took lot of sabe I don't care what
| kind of samples tho man carries-tea-
pots or pig iron-it's all arranged for.
Don't ask me any more questions, for
I'm on the milkmaid IS wheel now. You
couldn't catch on, am afraid, not be-
ing of an ingenious turn of mind. Well,
it's about this, and don't you give me
away: She just scorches around her
cows, and the milking stool is adjust
able. A patent attachment to a cy-
cloidal sprocket works the exhaust and
strips tho last drop from the cows I'D
| der. Then, when tho tin bucket that the
chain carries along is filled, all she has
to do is to zip around to another COW,
and that works tho churner, and SO by
the time she is through with the very
last Sukie there is your butter, and the
oyclometer tells you how much butter
you have to pound. I'm working out
refrigerating principle now as part
Of that wheel so as to keep the butter
cool and fresh. That wheel is going to
break the cooperative dairy business.
Don't ask mo no more silly questions.
| See?"-New York Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
A Rag of Money.

A strange story of money recovered
comes from Liverpool. A chimney sweep
in cleaning am oven fue found e4O in
coin in bag. On telling the lady OF
the house she burst into tears and faint
ed. She had put the money there herself
years ago, and having forgotten the
fact had accused her son, who was rather
wild, Of stealing it, with the result that
he had left the house in indignation and
had never returned.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
From the Irish.

First Citizen--I beg your pardon, sir,
but am stranger in Dublin. Can You
direct me to Grafton street? f
Second ditto-With pleasure. Sure.
it's the second turn to the right.
First ditto-Thank you, sir. walks
off.
Second ditto calling after him)-Hii
If you're left handed man it's the
other way entirely. London Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
Not likely to BE Disappointed.

An inquisitive person passing along a
country road stopped to talk with a
farmer hoeing corn.
''Your corn is small, said the in
quisitive person.
''Yes. planted that kind, " replied
the farmer.
ut looks yellow.
II planted yellow corn"
II don't think you'll get more than
half a crop"
Don't expect to- planted it on
shares Buffalo Courier.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
HYPNoTIzED THE BEARS.
A Story Which NewsOme Believes Becaus
Anderson Is Cross Eyed.


Anderson Is Cross Eyed.
]. e. Newsome is Port Arthur Ca
madam and Alex Anderson comes from
Pearl River. An Englishman named
Atwell wanted to get bear. and An,
derson tried to crafty his desire.
Newsome told Forest and Stream about
it. Atwell was tho kind Of man who
would like to kill bear in a trap, so
Anderson took two bear traps and lot
Of bait up gully near Ouimet, looking
for sign. The Englishman went look
ing for bears and left Anderson to set
the traps.
All Of u sudden big she bear ap-
peared before Anderson at tho foot of q
tree between q couple of whose roots
ono trap was to have been set. Not hay
ing any gun, Anderson, SO Newsome
says, determined that hypnotic force
had to bo used, and that suddenly. An
derson looked the bear i'll tho eyes, and
tho bear paused; then Anderson made
three passes with his hands The bear
leaned its head forward and its eyes
bulged ont. Having satisfied himself
that tho bear was properly influenced,
Anderson yelled for Atwell, but Atwell
was good way off, and before he could
arrive tho she bears 2-year-old and
yearling cub came out of tho tree at tho
Same time A yearling cub alone would
be pretty bad fighter at close quarters,
especially with a hypnotized mother
bear near by liable to come to at any
moment, but u 2-year-old cub and q
yearling both at onco made mighty
serious matter.
But Anderson was fully equal to tho
emergency. He managed to look at the
bears four eyes at once and soon had
them subjugated. Newsome says that
he would not have believed Anderson's
tale only Anderson is now cross eyed,
which no wasn't before, owing to his
looking both bears in the eyes at once.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
Drudgery.

The everyday cares and duties which
men call drudgery are the weights and
counterpoises Of the clock Of time, Civ
ing its pendulum true vibration and
its hands regular motion, and when
they cease to hang upon its wheels the
pendulum no longer swings, the hands
no longer move, the clock stands still. -
LonRfelloM.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.
Perhaps the Most Curious OF His Man!
Singular Adventures.

Perhaps the Most Curious OF His Many
Singular Adventures.
"In a house that / went into ono
night in the country" said the retired
burglar. 81 saw when 1 got up on the
second floor light coming out into the
hall from an open door. When got n
look into that door, saw a man all
dressed standing leaning over bed. l
couldn't SEQ his face, but could SEQ
anxiety on the back of his head. Lying
In tho bed was child, thin and white
and still, but awake and looking up at
its father. Backing out of the door. /
licked my lamp against the door jamb.
The man looked up. He wasn't scared.
I doubt if he would have been anyway,
but he was thinking of something else
now.
"'Come in, he says, and went in.
1.-THE child looked at me as / walked
across the floor, and then looked up
again at its father, saying nothing, but
just lying there and looking up.
How the man came to be fixed in
that way, all alone with that child, /
could not even guess Wife just died
maybe, but there he was and thinking
of nothing else in the world, and the
child was tho pitifullest looking little
child ever saw
"What tho man wanted was to have
me go for the doctor. He told me his
name, and the DOCTOR name, and where
he lived, and went. 1t was late, you
understand, but l whanged away on the
Doctors door till heard him open his
window. told him what was wanted
"'All right, he says. and thought
by the way he said it he knew about the
child.
"Then / went my way. I'd lost
night, but what of that ?'-New York
Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-08-12
Two Arebbishops.

The archbishop of Canterbury is
primate of all England, and therefore
takes precedence of the archbishop of
York, who is only "primate of Eng
land" This very nice distinction was
made several centuries ago on account
of very bitter dispute arising between
the two functionaries as to which should
precede the other. The matter was set
tied by comforting precedence upon the
archbishop of Canterbury, the two titles
being also bestowed at the same time.