The Irish standard., 1896-02-22
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ness must be an expression of inward
grace and good feeling Above all, Hit
must be sincere, otherwise it carries its
D. 5oWn col diction with it and defects its
mend. Flattery is an offense against
potteness, and in all society which can
{ be called good 1T is becoming less and
less the mode to use it, The same is
true OF its opposite, or tIaducing one who
as absent. Self-respect, if no other re-
spect should keep a4person who affects
IA degree Of politeness from this kind OF
malaria Polite society bases.itself upon
exclusions, thus appealing to that trait
value of a thing by the difficulty Of pos
$sessing it, and Mrs. Howe says there are
people who would gladly destroy pleas
llre in order to enhance its yalHc i'll the
hands .of the: few. In this connection
she quotes the. remarll of a lady, herself
new in polite: society. in reference 10 Il
L Partisan dame, who had shown her some
attention: ."Al. the trouble With Nine
is that she is too good-naturea she
entertains everybody" MIS-. HoWe.s $
thought was: Had; she been less good
natured is it certain that she would nave
entertained you?''
There is the iustifiable side OF exclu-
sion in society--tne cnoice OF ones asso-
ciates. Society can decree that those
who come. of & certain education or a
certain income shall associate together
on terms OF equality. Then comes the
resistance: There is a rude pushing. TO
set in. There is also q showing to elbow
out. The result is perpetual light N
the realm Of. fashion. Thackeray,4 VINO
has so keenly satirized polite society. dld
not overlook this weakness OF crOWdlng
out and in. In his great romance "Ihe
Newcomes, young Ethel Newcome asks
her grandmother, Lady Kew: wei,
then grandmother, who is Of a good fam
i,y?" The old lady replies: Well, my
dear, mostly no one" To which Mrs
Howe, in her customary genial and truly
democratic way, says: Il would have
answered. Most everyone. il people are
disposed to make their family good.
Withal the advances which society has
made it still keeps some traces OF ITS orl-
ginal baTbarism. and notably is the want
Of respect for labor. The explanation for
it is. of course. in the past, when tue
hanetjwork was performed by slaves ana
he worlds estimate Of labor was natur-
ally lowered. BY. almost common con-
sent of the fashionable world those who
inherit or marry money are allowed to
place themselves above those who earn it,
although it may be very easily shown
that it requires more talent and merit to
earn money than to spend it. good So
ciety often feels itself obliged TO apollo
gize for q lady who earns money. She
could not help it, poor thing" Her
father failed or the trustee lost the i'll.
vestments made for her. She has 20
make herself useful To this Mrs. Howe
replies that she could wish that the fact
Of an idle and useless life should need
apology--not that Of laborious and use
full one When in England some fifteen
years ago she was asked by people OF ed
ucation whether women teachers ranked
In America with the ladies or with the
working women" The reply, with Ia
dies" occasioned surprise. Speaking of
this leads Mrs Howe to add that rela-
tive of Theodore Parker's wife, who dis
liked him, would occasionally taunt him
with having kept school, and one day
this inpolite relation said to Mr.. Parker:
"'My father always told me to avoid a
schoolnaster. "It is evident that you
have" was his quick reply,
Even in rebellious societies is found an
impoliteness that at times borders on
rudeness The lack of hospitality which
In some churches renders each man and
woman the savage guardian of q seat or
pew falls little short of it, and Mrs.
Howe pertinently asks: "Is this Gods
house to you, when you turn with fury
on stranger who exercises strangers
right to it's privileges? Whatever may
be preached from the pulpit of such a
church there is not much of heaven in
the seats so maintained and defended
sss The lack of recognition that another
who differs in religious conviction may
b. equally earnest in his search after God
is species OF rudeness. Few In their
zeal stop to consider it in this way, but
whoever would convert another will be
far more successful by the use OF polite
methods than by the contrary, which
have been tried too many times not to
know, their worthlessness. The same is
true of the rudeness of reform. The gen
line reformer honors human nature by
recognizing it in higher power than is
shown in it's average action Treat
person according, to- your own dignity
rather than his deserts" was Emersons
motto. and Mrs. Howe says Emerson was
person in whose presence 1t was I'M
possible to be rude. The man or woman
who approaches you urging upon you
mere fervent faith a more impartial JUS
NJ L
your own mind comes to you really in
reverence and notin contempt; And he
will find in you that better nature that
higher sense to which he appeals and
which in the end is almost sure to re-
spond to that appeal. -.
Mrs. Howe thinks that the manners Of
polite society today are not quite so pO-
lite. as they were in her youth; that
young women of fashion seem to- have
lost iuvignity of character, and in general
tone of culture. That young man Of fash
ion seem 10 regard young ladies with less.
esteem and Difference 5and.a general cheap
and easy standard Of manners is the re-
sttst. On the other hand, outside Of this
channel roc, (eb %obr. omo:.s neya, ,hh
charmed. circle Of fashion she finds the
tone OF culture much higher than in her
youth. Women are leading nobler lives,
ANing larger and higher places, "enjoy-
ing the upper air OF thought where be-
fore they rested upon the very soil Of do
nestle care and detail. go" she con-
'cludes, the community gains although
QUE class ,loses-and that, remember,
the class which assumes to give to the
rest the standard taste% s.ts -a.: n,
Mrs. Howe thinks the salon Indigenous
to France and it hardlyto Ee transplant
ed tn-America. Clubs, social and literary,
take the place Of it. The free course OF in |
telligence and sympathy as revealed in
the club is q social unity that counts mn
nrensely for good In many respects the
club is superior: to The salon. It is more