davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
700 LITTLE OF THIS JOHNSON.

Such Agreeable Things DO Not Happen
in Real Life.
This is about q man who put up
stove.
1t is unnecessary, perhaps, to go fur
Their with 1t. You know in advance just
how he swore and tore and spoiled the
carpet, and the pipe didn't fit, and he
skinned his knuckles and cut his finger
and spilled SCOT down the back of his
neck, and finally went Uptown and got
six men to finish the job.
Johnson" said Johnson's wife at din
ner the other day, 81 want you to come
home early this afternoon. Iwant that
sitting-room stove up and going by
Sunday"
"All right, my DEAR" said johnson.
"Ill be home at four"
So that afternoon Johnson's wife sent
the children ovel, to visit on the other
side of town and stuffed rags in all the
cracks to deaden sound. After fer
vent prayer that all the neighbors
would be out of town for few hours
that afternoon she was ready for John
son.
He arrived promptly.
"The stove is out in the woodshed,"
said she.
The stove was not very large, and,
after johnson had dressed himself for
the occasion, with the help of Mrs. John
son, who had taken care to have his old
clothes and gloves handy, he got the
stove to the porch without much diff
Guilty.
1T must be blackened," said Mrs.
johnson, as she mixed up the black
ing. 1t blackened to beautiful finish
with very little rubbing. and johnson
whistled at his work.
Then he tackled down tho oilcloth
mat end the zinc and kept on whistling
He took the stove in carefully and put
it in the right place.
There was plenty of the old stovepipc.
and while he cleaned it in the alley
with stick Mrs. johnson sat on the
back porch and listened to him whistle
The first joint went on all right and
the damPer staid in place. Tho next
joint fitted SO we'll that Johnson almost
stopped whistling in sheer admiration
for it, and SO did the next one The ell
bow fitted admirably and the collar and
last joint fitted like q top. The scam
was on the right side all the way up.
There was not even specl of SCOT on
the papers Mrs. johnson had spread on
the carpet.
In ten minutes more johnson had n
lovely fire in the stove and was in his
business suit again, spick and span,
reading the paper while his wife got
supper.
It was Just here that there was Il
savage nudge in Johnson's left ribs. and
he heard his wife tell him to wake UP
and hustle out now. for it had been day
light for half an hour.-Topela State
journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
Saluting the Flag.

Coffee Is now served out, and for IS
minutes the sailors sit and sip it before
beginning the morning work of scrub
bling decks and cleaning ship. This
work should be finished by five minutes
to eight. when the bugle sounds the first
call for colors. Upon which the quar-
termaster bends on the flag to the hal
yards of the flagstaff at the stern, and
signal-boy does the same with the
Jack" at the bow, and both stand ready
to hoist them Mt eight o'clock. A little
period of waiting follows, and then
eight o'clock is reported by an orderly
to the officer of the deck, who sends the
orderly to report it to the captain.
Presently tho orderly returns md re-
ports:
''The captain says: Make it, SIR"
Thereupon the officer of the deck Or
ders:
Sound Off"
Then ring out the clear, majestic notes
of the salute to the flag, while all men
about the deck face it as it scars with
dignity aloft and floats out to the morn
ing breeze, officers and men touching
their cnps in reverential salute as it
comes to rest and the music dies away
In long, full notes.-Lieut. John NJ. FL
licott, in ST. Nicholas.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
Select Excursian to Colchester Beach,
Chesapeake Bay.

On Thursday, August 20, the Penn
sylvania Railroad Company (Philada.,
Wilmington and Baltimore Railroad
Company will run a special low rate
excursion to one of Maryland's most
popular watering places, COLCHESTER Beach.
This place is held in high favor by all
who have been there or who have heard
its praises sounded. 1t has all the at
tributes of first class resort, and es-
pecially appeals to families. Every pos
sible kind of amusement is to be found in
addition to the never dying fascination
of the sea. Its location, on the prettiest
part of the beautiful Chesapeake Bay,
speaks for itself.
In order that people living on the
Philadelphia, Wilmington and Baltimore
Railroad may avail themselves of day
at this charming place, a special train
will be run and tickets will be sold at an
exceedingly low rate.
The following schedule will be i'll effect:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
INDIANS AND ToRNADoEs.

Rcd Men selected Chicago Site Because
Cyclones Never Touched 1t.
SIN the speculation about cyclones In
Chicago" said Amos Kersey, a resident
of Elmhurst, who has known Chicago
for almost so years, zone most i'm
portant thing is usually overlooked. In
the ordinary course of nature there will
never be a tornado in Chicago. 1t is not
entirely question of why the city is
safe. The main thing is; Is it safe?
After that speculation Is idle.
''But you know that tornadoes never
visit localities s:here the Indians had
villages? They never do. There was an
Indian village at the mouth of the Chi
cagoriver when the first explorer came to
the portage. And tradition then said
that village always had stood there.
There has never been a cyclone in the
city. Sometimes they come within ten
miles, but they never wreck the city.
'"rhere was no Indian village on the
site of ST. Louis, and cyclones have come
there repeatedly. The one in 1872 was
almost as severe as this one of Wednes-
day.
II don't pretend to understand why,
you know. only give you the facts.
suppose the course of storms, the chan
mel in which they travel, is as definitely
fixed as the course of the gulf stream or
the recurrence of the seasons. In pass
ing ages the people, however primitive.
will come to recognize these boundaries.
They will not make settlements III the
places where tornadoes come. They
will go to places where tornadoes never
have struck.
'By that system of selection they
chose Chicago. They did not choose ST.
Louis. Now, it may be the presence OF
the lake-though that scarcely seems
reasonable, as other lake cities have
been visited. 1t may he the general fiat
character of the land, but Kansas and
Nebraska have suffered, and they are
us level. I don't know why. I only
state as q result of my observation and
study that sites of Indian villages are
never visited by cyclones. "-Chicago
Post
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

CHOCOLATE BAVARIAN CREAM
Soak half a box of gelatine in cold
water half an hour. Boil pint of
milk, add the gelatine, two ounces
of grated chocolate and stir until
dissolved, then add half a cup of
sugar and teaspoon of vanilla.
Pour in pan and cool until it
thickens, then add pint of cream
which has been whipped stiff. Pour
in a mold which has been first
dipped in cold water. Let it stand
over night on ice. Serve with
cream.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

He-Don't you suppose the Wild waves
are beginning to say something down
ut the seashore?
She-I don't know. do know what
the winds are saying, though I don't
think you do"
"No. What do they say?"
Wool" Cincinnati Enquirer.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

Mrs. Jinks-My dear, wish you
would take me to see Isben's new play.
Mr.. Jinlts who hates to be bored)-
Ny love, If you'll let the play go III
I'll accompany you to church next Sum
day.-Bay City Chat.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

Feed the nerves upon pure, rich
blood and you will not be nervous.
Pure blood comes by taking Hoods
Sarsaparilla which is thus the
greatest and best nerve tonic.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
Not the Only One

Shelf | don't accept you this time,
you won't get discouraged, will you?
He-Oh, no. There are others. Do
troit Free Press.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

Hojack-I always understood that
Henry and Lucy Teeters were twins.
Tomdil;-They were at birth, but
Lucy is four years the younger now
Truth.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
Why His Ardor Cooled.

She-You promised to love me always.
He-ButI never knew that you looked
Ike that In the morning with your hair
IN curl papers!- YonAers Statesman.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

Trains leave Oxford for Philadelphia at %
a. m. and 90 p. m. Market train leaves
Rowlandville Tuesdays and Fridays at 1852;
Liberty Grove, 9.O7; Colora 9.16 Rising SUM- 1926;
Sylmar, $685. Nottingham, 9.40; Oxford, 1000 a. m.
arriving at South St. 2.53 p. m.
Sunday train leaves Oxford at 7 90 arriving in
Philadelphia at 9.21 a.. M; and 6.1O, arriving in
Philadelphia at ST. p. M.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

Hoods pills cure nausea, sick
headache, indigestion, biliousness.
All druggists. 25c.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
PHILADELPHIA, WHINING
II TON & BALTIMORE R.R.

CENTRAL DIVISION,
On and after May 18th, 1896, trains will
run as follows:
LEAVE aOING NORTH.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

DERFECT and permanent are the
cures by Hoods Sarsaparilla, be-
cause it makes pure, rich, healthy,
life and health-giying BLOOD,
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

at a. 80 p. III.
Children between five and twelve years
of age, half price.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

First Doctor ordered him IN Ice
cold bath every morning.
Second Doctor-What! when he had
influenza!
First Doctor--Yes. It will give him
pneumonia, and made my whole repu-
tation curing that.-Punch.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07

why lie Studied tho Stars
Jones+"I notice that you frequently
speak of things that happen attwo a. M,
and so on. Are you a newspaper man
Smith-No, but l frequently walk
the streets all night.
"Insomnia?"
No, my wife locks the door at ten p.
m."-TeHas Sitter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
Farm Machinery.

Salary or commission. Good side line. Sample
free. Address: lands & CO.,
mrs Shippensburg Pa
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-08-07
Wanted An Idea I $ns s. S ss ss!Ss
Make Cows Paw.

Protect your ideas; they may bring you wealth
Write JOHN WEDDERBURN & CO., Patent Attor
neys Washington, D. c., for their 800 prize offe
and list of two hundred inventions wanted,
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

If it required al annual outlay of
$4,000 to insure family against any
serious consequences from an attack of
bowel complaint during the year there
are many who would feel it their duty to
pay it; that they could not afford to risk
their lives, and those of their family for
such an amount. Any one can get this
insurance for % cents, that being the
price of bottle of Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy. In al
most every neighborhood some one has
died from an attack of bowel complaint
before medicine could be procured or a
physician summoned. One or two doses
of this remedy will cure any ordinary
case. 1t never fails. Can you afford to
take the risk for so small an amount?
For sale by w. F. PINE.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

Mike Sutton went to Topeka Tues
day to attend the meeting of the lea
que and rode in Pullman, and q
farther and more damning fact was
discovered by some enemy who open.
ed his grip. In it was a large new
night shirt trimmed with fancy red
trimming. The only thing that
saved Mike from instant expulsion
from the ranks of short grass states
men was the fact that the night shirt
was evidently bought purely for dis
play, had never been worn and
probably never would be. Mike
must be careful however. In these
days of backsliding and boiling and
detection such things as this cannot
pass unnoticed.-Kinsley Mercury
In packing his valise Mike mad
vertently inserted the wrong shirt.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

twill soon be discovered that the
Republican party has taken no new
departure upon the question of silver.
The Republican party has always
been in favor Of sound money, every
dollar as good as every other dollar.
and the widest use of silver as money
that can be made, always keeping the
silver dollar, and the greenback
dollar, the equal of the gold dollar,
and the equal of each other. That is
the Republican doctrine of old. It is
not the most important political
issue of the day, and the thoughts of
the people and the politicians will
soon turn to the tariff, which is really
the most important, if not the only
political question at this
time before the American people. 1t
was the repeal of the Republican
protective tariff and the enactment of
low tariff Wilson bill that
brought disaster and ruin to the bust
hess interests of the country, and the
ouly important political question Of
the hour is return to the doctrine of
protection for American workingmen
and American homes. It is not
that makes business; it is
business that makes money. Put the
idle wheels turning, and the idle
workman at work, and the money
question will take care of itself.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The Republican league, at their
meeting this week did good thing
in unanimously electing Ed Madison
of Dodge City president. Ed has
beed resident of the short grass
country for ten or twelve years and
has built up reputation as a lawyer,
orator, politician and all around good
fellow. He was elected county
attorney years ago. Dodge City had
always had the reputation of being
the toughest city in the state, but
Ed proceeded to do his duty without
any particular fuss or feathers, and
before his term had expired the ille-
gal vendors of liquid refreshments
had either quit the business, left the
town or were in jail. He ran for
senator in 1892, of course, got cleaned
out along with the balance of the boys
out in that country, but he made an
elegant canvass, made plenty of
friends and acquaintance and finally
went down to defeat without the loss
of a pound Of flesh or sign of sad
ness or slightest indication that a
wave of trouble was rolling across
his ample and peaceful stomach.
Heretofore the league has never
amounted to anything in politics fur
Their than to furnish an occasion for
the boys to get together, enthtse and
make medicine, but under the lead
of Ed Madison we hope to see it have
some positive force in politics To
peka Mail and Breeze.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09
The Congressional Fusion.

lie congressional fuSlOn.
The Democratic central committee
for the Seventh congressional dis
trict, met in Hutchinson. on the End.
There were only few of them pres
ent, and they adjourned without call
ing convention, but called another
meeting of the committee for Larned
August 9Th.
This is the same time and place as
that of the meeting of the Populists
convention to nominate a congress-
man.
The sctio On of the committee Ger
tainly indicates that every effort will
be made for fusion in this district.
It is understood that the Democrats
of the district are not favorable to
Jerry Simpson, yet it was the opinion
of the committeeman who were here
yesterday that should Jerry be nomi-
mated they would be compelled to en-
dorse his nomination.
A fight will BE made, however, to
keep Jerry from being nominated at
all. The Democrats will 60 to Lar
ned for the purpose of defeating the
Medicine Lodge man if possible, al
though they admit that the task
seems a hopeless one at this stage of
the campaign.
The fact is that the Popuist do not
intend to give up anything to the
Democrats there is not enough Of
them. When the Populist committee
met here several weeks ago and fixed
the time of the convention so late,
over the protest of the Simpson men,
it was thought then that Jerry could
easily be beaten, and the matter was
engineered in the interest of harmony
with the Democrats.
But when the farmers heard of it
they raised a roar that has been
heard all over the district. They
didn't intend to have Jerry side
tracked just to suit the Democrats,
and they we're not slow in acting
upon that sentiment by calling their
conventions and electing delegates
instructed for Simpson. If the Dem
ocrats don't like it they can do some
thing else. They are only few
Democrats anyway. The rest Of
them are Pops.-Hutchinson News.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

Dan TAGGARr caught rat in steel
trap last week which goes to prove
that they are coming-we mean the
rats-which goes t. prove that these
pests have heard of our late rains and
our splendid prospect for corn and
are coming out after some of it.
Meade Globe.
Oh, rats!
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The silver vote is not unanimous in
the west. In Montana Mckinley
and Hobart clubs are being formed
with great success. Wolcott was not
SO sure Colorado would 60 against
the Republican party that he would
bolt the party. Wolcott was simply
taking care of his job in the way he
thought best. -Wichita Eagle.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09
TOO HUGH SILVER.
OAcials Of the Santa Fe Railway Find
That - In q Mmia0AAA

OAcials Of the Santa Fe Railway Find
That 1t Is Nuisance.
Edward Wilder, treasurer of the
Santa Fe railroad, has received let
ter from a prominent Denver banker
which is striking exposition of the
folly of free coinage. Though the
banker intended it quite the other
way. The letter is composed of two
two pages. The first page is de-
voted to an argument for the free and
unlimited coinage of silver. Mr..
Banker says that silver is the money
of the great common people and that
the American government should
open its minis to free coinage in spite
of the eastern gold bugs who seek to
deprive the people of their rights.
The second page of the letter is de
voted to an explanation to Mr.. VIII
der of why the writer's bank has re
fused to become the depository for
Santa Fe station agents in Colorado.
He says the bank finds it impossible
to handle the large sums of silver
which the station agents would turn
in daily. Except for small change
people refuse to accept silver over
the bank counter.
Mr. Wilder says he has great troub-
lie in getting rid of the silver accum-
ulated by the railroad in Colorado.
He recently shipped $4,000 in sill
yer dollars to Chicago and unloaded
it on the banks there and they are
kicking at it as "a mean trick" To
people who do not handle much mon
ey it may appear strange that anyone
should have trouble in getting rid of
silver in the ordinary routes of bust
ness, but every large handler Of mon
ey will tell you that one of tho wor-
ries of his life is to know what to do
with the silver which comes in.
Banks don't want it because their Gus
toners refuse to take it. OF course,
it is good money and can be forced
on people underline law, but, where
ever it circulates in large sums it
does SO under protest. There rroba
ply isn't man in Kansas who
wouldn't make tremendous roar if
be went to bank with $25 check !
md the cashier counted it all out to |
1im in silver.-Mail and Breeze.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

During the month of June there
were Il million silver dollars coined
in the minis of the United States,
which is Just 100000 more than
were coined in the eleven years from
1S49 to 1860, when silver coinag e
was "free and unlimited" and silver
currency redemption money. In
view of this record it is not easy tc
determine what the silver men ex.
pected to gain by the restoration Of
the coinage laws of that time.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The grass will continue green at
Gray Gables, while the lawn at Canton
is trodden under foot, and resembles
apatch after the grasehoppers have
been over it.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

THERE is every indication that this
is going to be big corn year in Kan
sas, and consequently big Repub-
lican year.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09
Watch out for fakirs.

Watch out for fakirs. A man
to be from Dodge is going
over the country in western Oklaho
ma and the Panhandle of Texas try
ing to get up ''Rustlers Delight in
the form of an irresponsible non-pro-
tected brand book. Cattlemen should
give all such schemes the cold shake
unless they wish to be bled by
scheming advertisers. Woodward
Live Stock Inspector.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

Some people are easily frightened.
The Republican who hesitates to
fight with his party because of the
prevalence of the silver craze is too
weak kneed to belong to any party.
Capital.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The net earnings of the Atchison
system for the month of Nav were
$4S1 1877, an increase Of 500, 756 over
the same month of last year. The
net earnings of the system for the
eleven months of the fiscal year to
May 81 were Sc, 500. 1873, an increase
of $455, 500.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

DELAWARE will have 5000, 900
baskets Of peaches, the largest crop
since 1875. The peaches are offered
at % cents basket in the orchards.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

There are quite respectable lot
of men in Kansas who believe that
Colorado's mountains and Wall
streets banks should be put in an en-
closure and made to fight it out by
themselves.-Wichita Eagle.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

Ben Cox, an old time Meade county
Democrat. has abandoned trip to
Mexico, and he has come out for Nc
Kinley and the gold plank of the Re-
publican party. There are more
Democrats just like our old friend
Cox.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

WILL some of our silver friends
tell us the difference between "Wall
street, that they claim want 200
cent dollar and the owner of silver
mines who want so cent dollar?
We would like to know the real
difference Meade Globe.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

So long as the farmers cannot have
theprice of their corn doubled by leg
islation, they are likely to vote
against the granting of such a favor
to the producers of silver.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The Meade Globe wants short
sermons-abOut 20 minutes long.
Any preacher can say enough in
twenty minutes.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

Harrison paid off $250, 000, 900 of
the notional debt. Cleveland in
creased the debt $3.50, 100000 Give
us q change!
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

A REPUBLICAN administration and q
protective tariff are the real needs of
the country at this time.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

K. FUNK has announced his de-
parture from the Republican party,
and he has joined the Populists.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The silver Democrats of Illinois
pretend to be for free silver, but they
all favor Altgeld, (old gold.) See.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

CANTON is just now the leading city
of the country-leastwise most travel
ers are led in that direction.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The platform of the New York
Democrats is characteristic of the
party. 1t doesn't mean anything.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09
T. G. BAXTER, q Meade county
farmer, has 1900 bushels of wheat.

The Globe Democrat says Every
shout for free silver is shout for
anarchy"
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

The people of this country are for
the single standard-the Republican
standard.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

JUDGE PRICE of Ashland, is in Ohio,
and he will probably call on McKin
lev before he returns home.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09
Teller wept,
Cannon cried,
Fellow mourned,
Democracy died.
The fearful Teller,
The mOurnful Fellow.
Governor Flower sighed,
As mournful Fellow cried.

The tears that Teller brought,
The signs that Cannon wrought.
Were draughts OF wasted brine
Shed at the Democratic shrine.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

Children cry for Pitch.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09
LYON county has 2,34O dogs. The
sausage crop is assured.

The GLOBE REPUBLICAN is one dollar
a year, payable TN advance.
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09
Castoria.

"castoria Is an excellent medicine for chill.
dren. Mothers have repeatedly told me Of its
good effect upon their children.''
On. G. G. OecooD,
The Globe-republican., 1896-07-09

We want an administration that
can provide the country with q sur
plus and not q deficit.