davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1896-09-23
Carlisle Aber ,,Qaritat|".

sS~inanaminifter Carlisle bat in 1etner
Sommerfrtf9e in 8ar 6arbor in Waine ais
Mnttport auf biele Sragen einen fir Die
Oeffentli9teit beitimmten Brief barber gez
f9rieben, mie bic BaritGt Der SilberzOolz
lars, tpel6e nur @ilber i'm Marftpertb BON
50 Gents ent6alten, nit Sob beiperfiteaigt
ipirb, troy Der Sbatfade, buB bic &egierun9
bieielben ober Die duf bieIelben ausgeteQten
S9etne niht brett einl0it.
@r 1agt bariibsr: vNle S%tanbarb@S ilbers
Dollars, pel9e felt Nnnabme bes 8eIebes
BON 1878 aus "unferen Miin3en b%erborgingen,
= me6r als 433 Mtqipnen, = Itnb auF
Dffentlt9e &e9nung aus Stlber 9eprd9t
tporben, bas BON Der gegierung angefauft
mar, unb finb geiebli@es 3ahlmittel fir ale
Dffentlihsn unb pribdten S9uloen o6ne
HiidIi9t auf bic Summe, es lei benin, es lei
contrdftli9 anber5 baittnmt pprben. Die
Dollars 9e6oren Der 3egierung, tpenn fte
osprdgt ftnb, unb nerben bon Der Hegierung
als gIei9 nit Sob fir Gigent6um unb
0ien1te a0er Nrt dusbeaablt, unb tperoen
bonn 8olfe ais glei9 nit Sob in 3ablung
d1er Dffentli9en 59ul0en uno Sprberungen
a11genpmmen. Die Gegierung fat ME einen
llnteri6ieb 3pii9en ben Wfiin3en aus Den
beiben M}etullen gema9t. fonbern Sob GEE
5ablt auf i6re 8aargeloiAulben, penn @olo.
unb SLIDER. lpenn @ilber gefproert purbe,
,SGn 5olee bieIss 8erfa6renS 1T bur9 Sc
Ieb unb Die BPM S9aBamt berfolgte Politit
bic prdgung 10 eingeI6rdnft poroen, baB
Der geprdgte 8etrag ni9t 10 groB geporoen
lift, Inn bic tpert3oolere Miin3e, Sob, aus
benz @ebrau6 gu treiben unb 10 Die 8runb@
lage ~unferes Sinan3fpitems 81 5eritOren.
l1nb 70 LANCE Die beiben MetaIe mad benz
bur9 9eIeb feitgetelten 9er6dltniB bon IN,
glei9em 0anbelspert6e fin6, 1T bic 9ez
I6rdnfung Der prGgung fir bic Nufredter=
baltung i6rer Paritdt gum 3med beg 4usz
tau19es abIolut tpeIentli9. Sic biloet Die
bauptiG9lihe S4uBpebr gegen Die @ntz
pert6ung unIeres l1mlaufgeloes, pelbe na9
Der @rfabrung aQer dnberen 2dnber bur9
QClt SCLfuY TeLptlSCINHAb WtIotu lUu%0Si
5fpei Meiin3en bon oerfelben 8enennut1g aber
bon ungIei9em Mert6e als geiebli4es 3ab>
Iungsmittel gu bermenben. Mit Der Nuf=
6ebung Der 8eI9rdntung tpiirbe bus 8ers
trauen in bic SGbigfeit Der Regierung, Die
@lei96eit i'm ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS oer
Miin5en aufre6t3uer6alten, %3erftDrt, unb bic
9aritGt piirbe berloren fem LANCE ebe mod
Die Si16erprdgung einen pirfli3 iibermdBiz
gen umfang errei9t bate!
n8ei FREEZER unb unbeI9rdntter gilbers
prdgung ouf 8e9nnng bon griDatzpers
fonen unb Gorpordttonen tpiirbe bic Hegie>
rung ni9t nur feline mpralif9e 8erpfli9=
tung baben, Die Paritdt aufrebt3uerbalten,
fpnbern ou6 ba5u ni9t i'm Stanbe fem, ba
Der 8etrag bes ii6eripertbeten unb burb Ser.
leibung Der eeiebli4en 3abltraft Dem Der.
tebr aufgeapun9enen Silbers iebr balb bus
8olb aus benz 2anoe ober gu loI9em DUFF
Ihlag treiben piirbe, baB es unmDgli6 pdre,
fir ben 59ub geniigeno Sob gu eriperben
unO BARN gu balten, INN Silber auf Yrdz
Ientatipn NIT Sob einaulO1en, I'm ulter
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1896-09-23

niht tpie Bel godran M~utterIprade tn.
@0t6e, ber mebrere alte uftb neue Sprd9en
fannie, fteqt Die 8%ebauptung duf, Dab ielb1t
Der ~eeipanbte1te Sprd6enfenner bod nllr in
elmer Sprade bic 8olfommenbeit err
reihen f0nne. Inter ben groBen Hebnefn
eiebt es iebo9 eini9e %Musnabmen. 0as
getpoltige G~ebnergenie &oHutb's duBerte
fib in Der beutI6en unb in Der en9lil9en
5pra6e 70 ~binreiBenb tpie in Der m%agnartz
f6en; bod mar er in Der m~dgDarii6 en am
untpiberTtebli9iten. 9aeegen brin9t Der
Rebner @9ur3 in Der enelif9sn Spra9e
6einabe nod grDBere Mirfunger berbor, als
in Der bsut19en. 8ir 9eutf6e fOnnen bies
19on besbdlb pbne giferfu6t a%nerfennen,
neil au9 aus @9ur3' englifden &eben
Elm edit beutf9er pbiloiop9ii9er @eiit
1pri6t.
SIN duBeren 8ortrag lit S4ur5 NIT ieiz
mem belen Senor tpeit rubtger unb &C.
mefIener ais Godran nit Der tieferen
5timme. Mbsr nur Inn 10 ergreifenber
fpirten 56ur5' inneres 5erer unb Iein ga
tbos, tpenn fie gum Our9bru6e tommen
Tei's BEL Der 8erni9tung feinbli9er 5ru9=
I9lii1e unb 2ugen, fet's in Der patriott14en
8egeifterung fir bas ate ooer 1eue Batter
lamb unb i'm fel1enfeiteN @lduben an ben
T9lieBli9en Sriumpb bes Rebts unb ber
8ernunft in Mmerifa iiber Die Mnihldgt
zines tpubniinnigen perfdl19ten 9empfra=
tentbums.
8eibe 3ebner erbeben 1i9 i'm &dmpfl
gegen bieie Gefabr bp9 iiber dles Pdrteiz
tleppertbum.
Gben bur9 feline fluffif9e Ginfa9beii
unb p6ilofopbif6e Miirbe ipirft S9nr3
8prtra9 na6baltiger als Der Itiirmti4
8ortrao @pdran's. GtDrenb fit einen &C.
ldittsrteren @ef9mad 1inb bic unablGiitgen
6eftt9en 80rperbetpeeungen bes irti6zame=
ritaniI9en Hebners, Der neben Dem 9ebirr
unb ben @timm6dnbern ulaufbDrli6 aud
bic Ml8feln Der @rme, Der 8eine unb mod
anberer &0rpertbeile itrupaairt; feline BET
na6e 5lpeiitiinbige Rebe mar 5uglei9 eint
lu%4lpuVLehbE 9et|9VHh'u IE'HN" S+NDH
nebt t%urneri 9en Sreiiibungen.
9o9 ferne lei es BON uns, i'm berfleinerr
8u polen, Ser 9rpBen Mebr3abl dmerifa=
nif6sr 3ub0rer unb 3uf9auer beba9t ia
Elm fol9ss @efu9tel unb @e3appel unb er=
bD6t Bel ibnen bic Mirtung bes 9eipro4ener
Mortes.
Der &ebner Godran lit Elm 8olfstribnr
i'm beIten Slime bes Mortes, inbem aub er
tpie @9ur5, ith nur an Die eoleren 8efibl(
bes 8olfes tpenbst, S6ur5 bagegen ii
au6 ais Hebner Der eeretfte Staatsmdnr
unb 9enfer,
Die G~ingetpanberten fOnnen tpabrlid
ftpl5 odrduf fein, baB bic atpei grDBten
aud bpn Der INSTRUMENTATION preiit
a1s uniibertrpffen unb unibertreffli9 on
~erfannten Rebner in bieTem iiber bas
S9id1dl Der Republit entf9eibenben Mabl=
fampfe aus europa eingenunbert iinO uni
Der cine in Srlanb unb Jranfrei4, be1
reifere unb tiefere aber in 9euti9lanb Der
@runb gu 1einer @r0Be gelegt bat.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1896-09-23

perbsn, als Der, pelder tetnet fol4en Gone
trait bat. 9enn er erbdlt, aud BET etnern
fal1enben Martte, itets ben bO4ifen Prets.
9err 4ltgelo bat bur4 feline Reoe ni9t Die
Nrgumente fir 8eibebdltung Der beite6enoen
Wdbruna uub gegen Die @tlberfreiprdgnng,
tpobl aber bas @ertrauen in feline etgens Soz
aft erf6iittert.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1896-09-23
Sd9lt9e unb mO6eutli9e
,,SuinotS ~StaatS=3ettNn9|
unD
70 ct ~ { It E n"|.
sfbpune,me chi s=GretI

SIN Chicago bur6 bic Trigger ins 9ans 9eltetert'
Sooebfott her gSpdbe ........ so. Is
Sdoli6e aus0abe unD Ser Q8efen" per geo1s.- 0.2O
Tdgll6e 9tusgob, pet Sobr .....:..".,... $50
uub Ser @eiten" ...,....... l0.40
Ser Meten" per So9r.......... d. .."..... zoo
9s06entli6e &usaabe per Sabr................ $50
Guspdrtise gbunnenten per @ot in ben Ser. etuaten
ioipie Canada unb WtericO:
Sd9Iide @useabe per SoDr $500
Ser g8eten" per Sabr ZOO
W0dentli9e Quseabe per Sabr............... 200
Sns &usIanb:
Ganaba unO MsrteO a~usaenommenl:
SdofiGe 4ugeabs per .$15.0
gBo9enblott poer' Mo6en=Q9efen .............. 800
eonntaog=9 geten nit pSber3 unO Grnft"...... $50
Saoeblatt unb Ser @sitsn1. ................. 1850
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
An Aneodots Of Lord Lytton.


Many years ago when the elder
Bulwer was in his prime laborer
on the estate was engaged TO do a
certain job of hard work. At the
end of a week he carried his account
to the baiIif, who said weeks work
was worth three shillings and six
pence. The man insisted that this
was not enough and refused TO set
tie, and every time he met the bailiff
he would stop him and ask him for
his money. Finally the bailiff be-
came angry, discharged the man and
refused to allow any farmer on the
estate to hire him.
The man was forced to leave the
neighborhood, but he was too poor
to move any great distance, SO that
he was still within the circuit OF the
bailif's i'll will. Wherever he went
this pursued him, aud bis life in con-
sequence was a hard one. But all
the time be kept telling his family
and his friends that some day he
would get the money the Bulwer
Lytton estate owed him.
He was well on in years, when
one day he met a man in the road.
1t was the sometime poet, Owen
Meredith, since come to the title
and late English Ambassador to
France, at home on a visit.
"You are Lord Lytton, I believe,''
be said respectfully.
"Yes."
"Then, if you please, I should like
you to pay an account which has
bean due me for long time
Lord Lytton looked at the account
and at his request the man told the
whole story. The poet was very
much affected and disturbed. Then
he said
"Well, l win do what can to
make it up for you."
He was as good as his word. He
built house at the gates of the
park, put the man and his family in
to it, and gave it to them rent free,
with other perquisites, so that he
was entirely comfortable for the re-
mai2der of his days.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
No Hiring About The Mattsr.

Probably one Of the neatest bits OF
sharp bargaining ever enacted took
place not long ago between an APP
parently ignorant German with an
abundance of wealth and sharp
dealer in horses. The German want
ed days outing, and decided that
a long drive would suffice for his
wants. The German determined to
have his ride, finally pulled out
huge roll ofbills, and offered to buy
the horse and rig, provided the
dealer would buy them back at the
same price. This surprised tn
dealer, but not wishing to offend the
owner of so much ready money and
possibly good future customer, he
agreed to the deal.
The German departed with the
horse and rig, and at the end OF the
day returned them in good condi-
ton, expressing his satisfaction at
the pleasure the drive had afforded
him. The dealer, according to the
agreement, paid him back the mon
ey, and the German started to leave
the place.
II beg your pardon, sir exclaim-
ed the dealer, "but you have forgot
ten to pay for the hire you know"
"Pay for the hire? Why, my dear
sir" cody replied the German. Il
fail to see that. II you will exercise
your memory trifle you will agree
that I have been driving my own
horse and trap all day, and, now you
have bought them back as yours.
There YVES no hiring about the mat
ter. Good-day, sir" And he left
the astoni shed leader to reflect.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
a Tim ely Reminder.

Each season forces upon our COR
sideratioE its own peculiar rerils to
health. The advent of fall finds
many reduced in strength and vigor,
poorly prep, red to continue the
business OF life. t. stomach and
bowels, the great l. g4way of ami
NAL economy, is especially liable to
disorder in the fall. The nervous
system has also suffered in the strug-
gle. TYPHOID fever and malaria in
particular find in the fall that CON-
bination of earth, air and water that
mark this eeason as especially dam
gerous. Tie falling leaves, the de-
caying vegetables contribute their
share of contamination. Hoods
Sarsaparilla furnishes most yalua-
bic safeguard at these important
points, and should be used in the
fall before serious sickness has laid
you low.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
A Slnw Train.

Southern railroads have reputa-
ton for slow travel, and in some
cases it is well merited. A Western
travelling.man, making a trip on
these lines, suffered a great deal of
annoyance from this particular fail
ing, but up to the time of the follow
ing incident he had enjoyed himself
immensely guying the conductors,
trainmen, or any persons having to
do with the roads, about their rapid
transit.
He was travelling one afternoon on
an exceptionally slow train, which
came to q stop every now and then
without any apparent cause. After
expressing himself very audibly to
the passengers he resigned himself
to the inevitable, and dozed off into
short maps, which were interrupted
by the suniev jerks of the train, at
which he complained. The passen-
gers showed their annoyance at these
complaints by angry looks. The con-
ductor had excused the engineer in
every possible way. The last apollo
gv had been that cattle INSTRUCTED
the track. The train had started
again, and had proceeded about ten
minutes, when it halted with a jerk.
Up walked the impatient traveller,
and petulantly remarked:
"Dear, dear I suppose, conduc-
tor, this worse than slow train has
struck another herd of cattle 2"
"Struck another one mot much y
replied the conductor ''we've SIM
ply caught up again with the first
herd we ran into, that's all.
The traveller subsidized, and the
conductor was left in poace.-Har-
per's Round Table.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

The strength which comes to us
from eating nourishing food is bet
ter than stimulation, because it is
new strength.
The health which belongs to a
strong body, we'll nourished by prop
er food (properly digested), is the
only health that is lasting.
The difference between Shaker
Digestive Cordial end other medi-
cines is simply that it helps nature
to make strength. 1t does not pro-
fess to cure sickness, except as that
sickness is a result of weakness caus-
ed by food not properly digested.
Shaker Digestive Cordial will re-
lieve the pangs of indigestion, and
make thin, sick, weak people as well
as if their stomachs had never been
out Of order.
1t is gentle aid to the digestion
OF natures strength-maker, food.
At druggists. Trial bottle, 10
cents,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

The man who stands idly by and
sees the life fading out of his wife 8
face, sees her health going, sees her
becoming old and faded and wrink
led when she should still be in he
perfect enjoyment of vigorous, use
full health, is either less than man
or else does not know of one remedy
VIII ich will bring her back to health
and strength. Perhaps her husband
cannot persuade her to go to her
doctor, because she naturally breads
the inevitable examinations" and
"local treatments" He can per-
suade her, if she needs persuasion,
to take DR.. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription. This truly wonderful
medicine has cured hundreds of
women after the best physicians
have failed. 1t has been in constant
use and tested every day for thirty
years. 1t is a certain cure for all
arrangements, weaknesses ,Irreg ular
tiles and displacements Of internal
organs peculiar to women.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
News in Brief.

An Atlantic steamers screw costs
about $4,000.
In the Rosin Bible the word rosin
was substituted for balm.
Sandpaper is at present made with
powdered glass instead of sand.
A snow-white coon b as been
caught in Livingston. county, Ken
lucky.
In Budapest, Hungary, they have
put the trolley wires underground.
1t is said that the cordage on
frst-class man of war costs about
$4,000.
A whale when struck by a harpoon
cannot swim faster than nine miles
an hour.
The Persian Empire in its palm
lest days comprised about 100000
square miles.
1t is said that the Samoyedes, the
aborigines of Siberia, are fast disap-
pearing.
Most of the land in the Republic
of Mexico is held in almost feudal
tenure by 1000 families.
Austria has tax on all sorts of
domestic animals but cats, aud now
it is proposed 10 tax them.
The tunnels of the world are esti-
mated to number about l, 142, with a
total length Of 514 miles.
The dome of the Palais de Justice
in BRUSHES, Belgium, is made of pa
pier mache and weighs sixteen tons.
In the gardens around London
there are more specimens of the
cedar of Lebanon than on Mount
Lebanon itself.
One of the most brilliant and sue
cessful students at the California
State University it Newell Perry
who is totally blind.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

about my business. Amt / had a
glorious time? expect you didn't
calculate to see me run such rig ~
mo, indeed, / did not, and you've
been lucky"
A few days after he called again,
aud said 81 guess l shall stay here
spell longer, I'm treated so well.
T'other day grand officer came to
my room and told me the emperor
had sent him 10 show me all the
curiosities, and / dressed myself,
and he took me with him in mighty
fac carriage with four horses; and
have been to the theatre and mu-
scum, and / expect I've seen about
all there is TO be seen in st. Peters
burg. What do you think of that,
Mr.. Dallas p
1t seemed so incredible that poor
ungainly Yankee lad should thus be
loaded with attentions that the am
bassador scarcely knew what to
think or say.
In a short time his strange visitor
appeared again. "Well, said he,
I've made up my mind to go home
So l went to thank the emperor,and
bid him goodby. I thought l
couldn't do less, he'd been so good.
Says he, is there anything else
you'd like to see before you go back
to Ameriky p l told him / should
like to get peep at Moscow, for /
had heard considerable about their
setting fire to the Kremlin, and I'd
read deal about Gen. Bonaparte
but it would cost sight of money
to go there, and / wanted to save
my earnings for my mother. So |
bid him goodby and came off. Now,
what do you guess he did next
morning? vow, he sent the same
man in reglmentals to carry me to
Moscow in one of his own carriages,
and bring me back again, after see-
ing all I wanted to see. What do
you think now, Mr.. Dallas 7"
Mr.. Dallas afterwards learned
from the emperor that all the par
ticulars related by this adventurous
youth were strictly true. The last
tidings of him were that he was
travelling in Circassia, and writing a
journal which he intended to publish.
Now, who but a Yankee could have
done all this?
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
Too Fast.

Col. Burlington is a wealthy man.
He did not have to earn wealth him
self but received it as a legacy. He
is very obtuse, though he puts on a
great deal ofstyle. Hearing that he
wanted e horse, a neighbor went to
him and said
81 want TO sell you horse. He's
just the kind of an animal you
WANT
els be fast ~
"Fast is no name for him. How
far do you live from your Office p
about three miles,
"Well, if you start from your Of
fee at 4 o'clock in the evening you
can sit down to your dinner at 10
minutes past L."
"Then l don't want him"
"No? Why not?"
because my dinner is not ready
until 5, and I would not know what
to do with myself in the meantime.
Texas Sitter.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
Admitted the Facts,

Newspaper editors have to be
very careful in opening their columns
for statements. But aware that the
DR., Miles Medical Co. are RESPONSE
BILE, we make room for the testimon-
ial from r. McDougall, Auburn,
Ind, who for two years noticed a
stoppage or skipping of the pulse,
his left side got SO tender be could
not lie on it, his heart futtered, he
was alarmed, went to different doc
tors, found no relief, but one bottle
of DR.. Miles New Heart Cure cured
him. The elegant book "New and
Startling Facts" free at A. NJ. Gil
bert's. 1t tells all about Heart and
Nervous Diseases and many wonder
full cures.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
A leader.

Since its first introduction, Elec-
trio Bitters has gained rapidly in
popular favor, until now it is clearly
in the lead among pure medicinal
tonics and Notwithstanding
nothing which permits its use as a
beverage or intoxicant, it is recogniz-
ed as the best and purest medicine
for all ailments of Stomach, Liver
OF Kidneys-it will cure Sick Head
ache, Constipation, Indigestion, and
drive Malaria from the system. Sat
isfaction guaranteed with each bottle
or the money will be refunded
Price only SOC. per bottle. Sold by
L. G. Matthaei.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

Editor-I like this story, but the
ending is too commonplace and tame.
A good story should end with a
snap.
Roland Riter-Good heavens, man,
does not the hero marry girl with
a cool million. Don't you call that
a snap /?
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
ELY BROTHERS

Sc Warren St., New York City.
Catarrh causes difficulty in speak
ing and to a great extent loss of
hearing. BY the use of Ely's Cream
Balm dropping OF mucous has ceased,
voice and hearing have greatly i'm
proved.-J. w. Davidson, Atty at
Law, Monmouth, I'll.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

Sandford-Don't you think that
Miss Youngbud's dress was cut dis
gracefully low?
Yes, but don't think it will hap
pen again. The society papers have
taken it up.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

without it she would lose the brightness of
her eyes, the fullness of her cheeks and her
vivaeity. Health briugs all these things
but health means more than most people
think Of Real health must mean that a
woman is really woman. That she is
strong and perfect In sexual way, as well
ss in every other. That she is capable of
ity. Upon her strength in this way depends
TO large extent her general health, her
good looks and her attractiveness. Some
women are born stronger than others.
Some are born with what Is called con-
stitutional weakness" 1t is easier for some
women to retain health and strength than
1t is for others. Some eeem able TO do any
thing they like, whenever they Ike, with
out serious results. Still there Is no rea-
son why women should not enjoy perfect
health. Those who do not, need only take
the proper precautions and the proper FEM
edy TO become perfectly well and strong.
DR.. Pieree's Favorite Prescription will cure
any arrangement of the distinctly feminine
organism. 1t is absolutely certain. There
are some who have neglected themselves
so long that a complete cure is next to i'm.
possible, but even these will find comfort
end improved health in the use of the :" Fa-
Vorite Prescription" 1t has cured hundreds
of women who have received no relief what
ever from years of treatment with good
physicians. II Is absolutely unique in the
history Of medicine Such remedy can
be discovered only once There is nothing
~ the world like 1t, nor has there ever been.
Hundreds of things that every woman ought
% know, are contained ir Dr. Pierce's Med
teal Adviser, which will be sent a5solutely
free on receipt of 81 oiie-cent stGsrps 70
cover cost of mailing on'v Worlds Dis
pensary Medical Assertion, Baflio. n. z.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

A man who drove out to one of
the sawmills in the vicinity of Cor
dele recently declares that he got in
to one of the roads that was so
crooked that he met himself coming
hack
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

Wibble-What do you think of
this idea Of building yachts of pa
per?
Wabble-H'm! that's nothing
new. People had paper cutters when
l was small boy.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

Bringup Slightly seasick)-This
vessel would prove fortune to any
base ball club.
Captain-How2
It has so many different ways of
pitching.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

Bonsor-Dolan, the carpenter,
won't use American tools. He has
all his made in Ireland.
Bradley-Is that where he got his
axe sent from?
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

Are you tired all the time Then
your blood needs TO be enriched and
purified by Hoods Sarsaparilla,
the One True Blood Purifier. 1t
gives vigor and vitality.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12
Jimmleboy's Dessert.

1t was at dinner at the Profile
House.
"I'll have some blueberrg pie and
some ioe-eream," said papa.
''You may bring me some jelly and
cream-cakes,' said mamma.
"And what will you have r asked
the waitress Of Jimmieboy.
eli have the same,' said Jimmie.
boy.-Harper's Round Table.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

HOOPS PILLS are easy to take,
easy to operate. Cure indigestion,
biliousness. Csc.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

Gertie--Dear mamma, please give
me another candy. I've lost mine.
Mamma-Why, where have you
lost it?
Gertie-In my stomach.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-12

ForMa1aria, Liver TT cu-
bic, or Indigestion, use
BROWN IRON BITTgRs