The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-08
STRANGE MUSICAL FANcIES.
ECCENTRICTTTEs SHOWN BY GER
TAIN NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

The story the PiceoIo TOId-The
Cold water OrcheStra-What n
Flute Player BeIfeved-The Haunt
ing Of the Double Bass-The IRA
zen serpent That Was 10 stranEIe
n PIayer-A Question of Beer,
Probably - schmaItE's Explains
tiOn.
From the New York Times.
ct really Is a curious case" said ons
Of the piccoio players OF a Coney Island
band. II struck the Times man that ths
voice OF the story teller assorted to HIS
instrument. it was so sharp, shrm ana
staccatO.
1T did not come on him at once-only
gradually" continued the speaker.
The Times man ventured TO remark that
II might be- as far as an unknown per-
sonage went, a restraint OF ito much
beer"
THAT may be-" said the piccoIo player
thoughtfully. "but in studying the musi-
cal temperament you must have noticei
that there are some instruments which
absolutely refuse TO be played-that f..
TO say. with feeling or scntiment-with-
out beer. ! may be, as a piccolO per-
former. a teetotaller, but II l played the
vi0lOnccllO / should be forced to drink
beer. That brings out the uone-color. An
orchestra Of water drinkers would be as
thin as that fiuid. They might play fun
eral marches, but not the Chopin one,
on water. for that would be as chilly "a
Ice; but they would utterly fail IL they
tried a waltz or dance music. Gentle
men, said one of the best orchestral lead
ers know OF, when No were rehearsing
Liszt, this IS entirely too mechanical
You are working like wOund-up clocks.
We VIII try two glasses OF beer each, ahd
/ know there will be a loOsening OF the
springs And we did, ne standing treat,
and The Hungarian Fantastic after th0
beer Just had the proper swing, reel and
go to u. 1t was immense. You see, tn
strumentalists have their peculiarities. 1t
is an all-absorbing profession"
with beerY' quericd the Times man,
as he bid the walter bring two fresh glass;
II accept tho Interruption" quietly re-
marked the piccolO, but let me give you
some cases in point There was Kalat-
ChcW-and n very superior flute PLAYER
was he. You have heard him, and how
well he worked up the flute solo in Will
lam Telf-every note clean, fluent, and
limpidly precise. Now that man assured
me no never could play well unless he
saw mouse on his instrument, Just at
the embOuchure, ana then that mouse in
variahy hourished the tip end Of his tail,
through tho last hole. once Kalatchew
declared he nipped the tail OF that wrig-
Cling mouse under one Of the keys-at that
very instant his flute split I'm two.
you din't know ketels; he was Bel
CLAN. Poor fellow. He never had a
chance. but he was the greatest double
bass player / ever heard He would ham
die the huge monstrosity as II II were a
dancing masters kit. and he would draw
out sounds which were perfect, deep.
grave, or playful and enticing. as the
case might be. And yet ketels never got
to be a soloist. but kept drudging In the
orchestra. He was very eccentric.
have heard him complmented at times
by real musical critics. and Ketels would
say, 'Nonsensel / am not playing. It's
the dog and he would 80 on telling about
the dog, and how there was soul OF a
yellow dog that haunted his double bass,
and then he would play most eccentric
thing, a curious melody OF his, and every
now and then you would hear the whine
of a dog IN the compositions kind OF
plaintive yelp. Odd Ketels finally died
and his double bass was sold, and as IL
wanted repairing II was sent TO Gemun-
der. When he opened H. taking off the
upper and lower shell, as II II were
great turtle there, sure enough inside
were a few bones and . little bit Of hide
with yellow hair on 1t; and somebody who
examined these relics said. sure enough,
that they had once formed a portion OF
dogs anatomy"
"And how could you account for that?'
inquired the Times man.
"Oh, easily enough. The double bass
was very old, and had not been repaired
for seventy-five years. The last man that
must have had dog in his workroom
or a puppy, say, and tho dog went TO
sleep on what he thought was comfort-
able box. The old repairer never noticed
the animal but just glued the top on,
and there was the dog in his coffin, and
so Keteis was by no means in error. Any
how, l knew the man who owns that
double bass now, and II Is to-day very
commonplace instrument-good only for
fire wood. Whether II would improve
were another dog put into 1t now, don't
know. but 1t might"
ibid you happen to know GohnetgN
continued the poecolo player. mo. you
couldn't. That was before your time.
Yes Gofhnet drank hard--not beer, but
absinthe. He came out here with
French opera company during the civil
war, and there was no place for a first
vlolinist; so, with bad habits, he starved
and what did he do? He enlisted In
New York regiment, but he could not
take his fiddle with him, which was
Cremonese one. but he bought one or
found one down south-a common Niger
fiddle. But Gotfinet was a player, and "
there were strings and hoe handle, he
could make II sound. In camp ne was
the delight of the boys, but he used to
swear at the fiddle, it was so poor.
"Once he was adding in camp of an
evening, when rebel sharpshooter from
away far Off spotted Goffinet and fired at
him. Ping came the ball, took the fiddle
at the one side and came out of the other
with a clean hole and big splinter, just
TdkluE IL, the Ddll tlndiiy iOuSlH5
nets breast. If 1t hadn't been for that
Niger fiddle, G0ffinet would have been
dead man. That sobered old Goff, and he
became decent after that. He gives music
lessons to-day, and plays the organ in
church in Baltimore and sometimes he
has a job in arranging a score. But the
fiddle-that's the queer thing. He sent the
old broken concern, just wreck, to re-
pairer, with instructions, and the money.
too to put 1t in tip-top order. When that
fiddle came back, 1t was perfect instru-
ment and IL you could hear Gofftnet play
on 1t to-day you would go into eestasies.
He just worships that fiddle, and $1,000
would not buy It,"
How do you know 1t Is the same nd
dle?" asked the skeptical Times man.
Nobody could fool Gof1net, for there
are the bullet holes through it But what
was the story we began with? oh, yes; IL
was about Schmaltz He is the helicon-
tuba player. That is that mammoth brass
wind Instrument a man has to get inside
of in order to blow it. The twist of II goes
round the Observation-Disclosures neck like a
cravat. They have to make it that way.
Well, Schmaltz is a good player, only this
tho helicon-tuba is getting to be too
much for him. He is kind of conceiting
that he Is all the time in the coils of a
boa-cons trictor, and that some time or
9TH no 10 arofnor rloca an