The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-05-06
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.
= We should do we'll to take couns
;el from the wise, and warning from

the foolish,
Every civilized nation of the
world, even China Japan, now has q
wheather bureau.
= The first love and the first shave
are two things that only happen once
in q mans lifetime.
Think Of the ills from which you
are exempt, and it will aidyou to bear
patiently those which you may suffer.
= Husband.-Strange but myYife
always wants me to remember her
birthday, but to forget her age.
= Bath, Me-, boasts of q man who
can add up aoolumn Of figures with
one hand while he is writing with the
other.
= A sponge having q circumference
Of FIVE feet six inches has been taken
from the waters of Biscayne bag,
Florida.
The population Of the world
averages 109 women to every 100 men.
Eight-ninths Of the sudden deaths are
those OF males.
-"Give me a kiss, dear girl
can't" she replied "I don't mind
lending you one, but I must have IL
returned tomorrow"
= Rev. Parsons-I hope there was
something about my sermon whichia-
terested you? Mr.. Knapp-Yes, sir;
it was long to. be remembered.
- An orange sixteen inches in cir
conference wa taken from a tree at
Pomona, Cal. It is to be sent to
Europe as q specimen EEof California
fruit.
= Men Of God have always, from
time to time, walked amongsm men aud
made their commission felt in the
heart and soul of the commonest hear.
er.-Emerson.
= Buzzfuzz.- That saying, Marry
in haste, repent at leisure, is all
wrong. Sizzletop -Thinkso2 Buzz
fuzz.--Certainly. After a man mar
ries he has no leislre.
Mamma, Aunt Jane lisa great
talker, isn't she {" eyes, daughter,
and she was never. married because q o
man could get herto keep still long
enough to hear his proposal.
Van Buren, County, Michigan,
made a record last year Of one divorce
to every seven marriages. There we're
thirty-six divorces in the county
during the year.
- Of the foreign born population Of
the United States the Irish are now
only about 20 percent, whereasin1350
they were over 40 per cent. The diff
ference affects the lower of the Irish
vote.
-"I wonder if Johnson tells the
truth when he says his wife has such
a sunny disposition :" a0f course
he does. Every time he does not do
exacly what she wishes she make it
hot for him."
= Armenia is not a thoroughly
Christian country, as is generally be-
lieved. Out of a population, of
510,205, nearly ive-sixths areSMohaIa-
medans, the exact number being
O0O,414 to only sos, 791 Christians.
"A man in Bourges is still wear
ing the blouse he had on when the
Prussians entered France. He swore
that he would never wear another and
by means Of! patches has kepthis oath,
The town council has offered him 100
francs for it for the town museum.
For every quarter in a mans
pocket there arc a dozen uses and to-
use each one in such a way as to de-
rive the greatest benefit is a question
every n must solve for himself. We
believe, however, that no better use
could be made of one of these quar-
tiers than to exchangesit for a bottle
of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy, a medicine that
every family should be provided with.
For sale by Hill Bros.
= Columbia Ky. has q practically
uneducated preacher who can reciteS
every chapter in the Bible. 1t is said
that one can call for any chapter, and
this preacher will recite it inits en-5
tirety with the greatest ease.
The diamonds in one symbol Of
the Shah's rank are said to Reighsal-
most twenty pounds. There is also q
jeweled saber, valued at s1,600,000.
Another thing chat the Shah prizes il.
a silver vase ornamented with: 100
emeralds, whose equals, it iss:said.
are not to be found in the world.
--"Did my singing disturb you
yesterday" said the musical young
woman. "Were you singing ked
the impolite hoaFde. why, of
course. Didn't you hear me az
believe it was your voice / heard.
But I thought you had seen q mouse.
= Judge Bennett, of Campbell
County, KY, surprised the Court
officers n day last week by ordering
that his own salary be reduced from
81, 200 to s1,400a year saying that
the county could not, in its present
financial condition, afford to pay him
so much for his work.
CT like that girl" said Woody
Witte, 'sbecause whenever / tell her.
anything amusing she laughs in the
right place." eyes," replied his
friend. "She told me how she managed
it," "Why-er-how is that ~ aShe
says she always watches you and
laughs when you do"
= Alligators grow very slowly. At
fifteen years Of age they are only two
feet long. A twelve.footer may be
supposed reasonably to be seyenty-fYe
years old. 1t is believed that they
grow as long as they live, and prob
ably they live longer than any other
animals.
- Mr.. D. P. Davis, a prominet ig.
eryman and merchant Of Goshen, Ya.,
has this to say on the subject ofrhsu-
matism !: II take pleasure. in recon-
mending Chamberlain's Pain Balm
for rheumatism, as I know from per-
sonal experience that it will do all
that is claimed for it. A year ago
this spring my brother was laid up In
bed with infammatory rheumatism
and suffered intensely. The first ap-
ulication of Chamher1ain's Pain Rain