The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1896-04-05
STRANGE CATWITH ALAG
INVASION or THE TENDFRLOIN
BT a CONDENSED CYCLONE.
Bottled Up = Family In n House. Terror
ized a Block, aud FouEht Policemen
Sergeant HnIpIn's Studies In Natural
History ontrndIcted ny EHperIenee,

twiddling his fingers and wondering when some
thing was going to happen. IL had been a dull
evening, and the only entry on the blotter since
9 o'clock was about n drunken woman who had
indiscreetly punched n peaceful citizen in the
nose because. as she explained 1t herself. he had
looked at her in a way which indicated that he
didn't think she was n lady. The last echo OF
her howls had died away and all was quiet.
do you know" remarked the Sergeant to his
friend. the excise inspector, who had Just
dropped in. that this station house and this
precinct have undergone a remarkable meta
morphosis in the last two years. Why, where
a man never used to get a chance to read a book
on the desk. he now has to do something Of tho
kind to kill time. AS an example OF the way
time hangs on a mans hands here let me tell
you that In the last few weeks I've perfected
myself in my schoolhoy hobby. natural history.
and there isn't much about any kind of animal
that ! don't know. Why"
Great Scott what's this ~ interrupted the
excise inspector as the door flew open, and n
man rushed in and leaned against the wall. The
man took a full minute to recover his breath,
and then he staggered over to the railing sur
rounding the desk and said:
"Send a policeman with a pistol around to
Twenty-sixth street right awayl Send one with
two pistols II you've got one!"
What's the matter2 Fight ~ demanded the
Sergeant.
NO" gasped the man. Cat. Just cat.
That's all. My wife took in q strange cat the
other day. great big fellow. and she fed and
took care of him. Tonight he climbed up on a
shelf, knocked over a bottle Of whiskey, Tapped
It. UP, and now he's got Il jag and is raising hell
around the house. Bust two mirrors and three
panes of glass and chased the whole family up
to a room on the second floor, and then sat in
front OF the door SO we couldn't get out. l
n1i,n hal nnt tha rnAf pf n raar nvfanGfnn and
dropped to the ground. That's how I'm here"
Say" remarked the Sergeant, clearing out
his throat, aren't you s%tringing us a little bit?
Now-ahem-beinR somewhat conversant with
the characteristics Of the cat l know that the
creature Is not of a high enough order of intel
ligence to put a family in a state of siege and
keep them there. You attribute to this dumb
beast too many of the talents of man. Never
theless. | shall send a policeman with enough
clubs and pistols to kill a dozen such cats as the
one you describe;" and the Sergeant rang for a
policeman and sent him out with the man.
You see a man has to be a diplomat in . po-
sition like this" remarked the Sergeant, and
the excise inspector said he guessed he'd have to
get an opinion from the Corporation Counsel
the next day as to the exact status Of drunken
cats under the Penal Code.
1t was half an hour before the policeman who
had gone out to demolish the cat returned. and
he presented a sorry appearance when he
walked in. There were two long scratches on
his face. his right hand was similarly decorated,
and his coat was ripped up the back. But on
the end Of his long night stick was a tuft of hair
and a spatter of blood, and he actually smiled as
he held it under the gaslight aud gazed upon it
How now. officer, and why this unseemly APP
pearance ~ asked the Sergeant.
Gee. gosh returned the policeman, that
there cat was the rip snort'n'st beast ever I laid
club to! When | went in the house. there it sat
in the hallway keeping guard over the door of
the room where all the family was hiding. The
man, he says for me not to go at him with the
club, but to shoot first: but | calculated to
knock him into the middle of next week with
one swat. Well. | made the swat, and what do
"Ducked.' remarked the excise inspector.
Ran" said the Sergeant.
NO" said the policeman. he Just up with
his paw and warded off the blow with no effort
at all. Neatest thing ! ever saw. and b'gosh 1t
down swat next time and cracked him one on
the head. but lie never turned a hair, and while
he gave a sort OF leap in the air. went whizzing
by my face. stretching out his paws AS he went
and giving me these digs on the face. Well. |
about two minutes. We worked down the hall
and out toward the door. and lift wasn't for the
fact that | caught him in the stomach with my
club as he spIanE for me and knoeked him out
sure. That's how | got that bunch of hair on
the end OF my club"
"ssy, I'D like to get a look at that cat. He
must be a heller. remarked the excise inspector
as the policeman went back to wash up.
Its Incredible that all this occurred said
the Sergeant. Il can show by my book on
natural history that such proves in the doines-
tic branch of the cat family = is impossible. May
hap the beast was fierce. but | fear the officer
romances."
There is plenty of circumstantial evidence"
ventured the excise inspector.
:" But when it conflicts with books it should
be cast aside" said the sergeant. Now let me
show the fine distinction between"
Sergeant. some one will be killed unless you
send an officer down to Twenty-fifth street and
sixth avenue" Interrupted a red-headed man
Now, really, my man, don't speak in riddles.
"A cat half the size of an elephant. with claws
"A cat" chorused the Sergeant and excise
Yes, a cat" roared the red headed man..
" would you like another go with that catr"
Not on your life" answered Fagin: so the
down to the scene of the disturbance.
XIII the beast, or IN report yon for neglect
Oh in nT about w tSe mtg min3tes the Of p epIie nrxee came
III was a tough job, but guess done him
"Guess!" exclaimed the Sergeant. Don't
Well said the policeman, II made a swat
at him with my club, and what do you think ?"
Why, he warded IL off. chornsed the Ser
kChilt anu ln0ptttpI. say "tItO l lIlt
you've been taking TO Fagin. Now,
no more of that, Did you shoot him ~
six times declared the officer IN
" and each time | landed, too"
We'll. that settles that cat" remarked the
II wouldn't be too sure of that" said the
policeman. lie bit me ON the leg after the sixth
shot aud then chased a man clean round To
street. \ horse car was coming
up and the man jumped on t., The last ! see OF
the cat he was mixed up with the horses legs.
When the car passed lie was gone. so | came
back for repairs"
Go back and clean up" said the Sergeant,
and he turned TO the excise inspector. "rhere."
he said. that liz IA veritication OF my theory.
That cat went off somew mere and died. III Fagin
had shot first there wouldn't have been a bit OF
You will ALWAYS find that tales OF alb
normal ferocity in domestic animals exist only
in the minds of the reaters."
The station house door flew open again. Two
men came in this time and they both tried to
talk at once, The Sergeant held up his hand:
What Is it2 A cat Z" he asked.
Fifty thousand demons in one cat hide"
said one OF the men.
Hes holding the block on Twenty second
street, between Sixth and Seventh avenues
said the other.
- H.