The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1896-10-15

Man, she bitterly exclaimed ..is
dominated by the almighty dollar"
Ana woman he rejoined with spirit,
by the almighty 30 cents."-Detroit
Tribune.
The reason why the average woman
appears as old at 80 as the average
man does at 40 is because the average
woman at 30 is usually about 4O.-L. A..
W. Bulletin.
Husband-"My. how you did snore
tlst night. | couldn't sleep Wife
why didn't YOU wake me up" Il
thought you were making enough noise
Us it was."-Up-to-Date.
Minister-"And do you believe that
your greatest troubles come from
ieavenE' Deaoon-"Well. they say
II a where marriages are made
AonkerS, y. ". Statesman.
Il wonder why The widows always
get the best of the race for husbands":'
asked the fool young man. They are
faster. guess" replied Miss Ann
Shent.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
jack boosted before | was tempt
ed, and now - TOm-"Now you're
wondering what you boosted about
Jack-"Not at all. I'm wondering
where in thunder III get some more
temptation."-Truth.
Senior-"Truo. this is not one of the
great universities. being only a com
mercial college; but, really. | think we
should have Il characteristic cry
Parliamentary the matter with
Cash" Puck.
You're wicked. lazy tramp" shout
ed the red-faced III Madam"
rcioined the tourist. calmly. Il decline
70 be drawn into any controversy. You
will take notice that | do not claim TO
D. a June bride."-Detroit Tribune.
HoaX-"My wife and some of her
friends are going TO organize n secret
society" OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. The idea
Of N in IA secret society," Hoax
You misunderstood. They are TO meet
&c tell secrets" -Philadelphia Record.
Talk of man. roarcd the female
emancipation. What has man ever
done for woman:" FURNISHED a model
Cor her to initiate said a voice in the
rear of the hall, and then an awful
quiet reiGned. Adams, Mass, Free
man.
Young Wife-"We are told to cast
pur bread upon the waters and it will
return after many days" Brute huS-
tand-'Yes. but don't you try 1t; it
would take q diver and a pair of grap-
ping irons to return yOurs.'-Up-to-
Date.
An .Atchisoh girl started out the first
oe the year with a resolve to say moth
ing, but always look interested and
sympathetic. The other girls are still
wondering what makes her SO sudden
ly popular with everyone.-AtchisOn
Globe.
Citizen-"Colonel. | want to ask you
about that Patrick Henry you were
alludin' to in your speech-the one that
said. Give me liberty Dr. give me
DEATH" Candidate-"What about
Eim?' Citizen-"Did he get his di-
NOrceT'-puck.
He-"Yas: | went to the PandemOrar
the other evening. Awfully jolly COM
pany they've got there: the Sisters
Trilby. awfully good girls!' She
Are they good" He-Well. don't
knew about that, but they're awfully
clever."-Sketch
Museum Manager-IOu van a job,
eh? What is your specially. Weary
Wiggins-Tm de human snake. Muse
I'm Manager-A contortionist. eh?
Weary Virgins (scornfuilV-No. sir.
40 sech a chestnut. | gorge and den
.ic torpid for days and days. like a
snake does Truth.
Uusband-"Here they have brought
me an account for Il bali costume; how
is that:" Wife-"Oh, don't you re-
member? 1t is for the green dress
wore last year at the ball when we first
met" misunderstood. and now L
am expected to pay for the net with
which | was OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
The stout man wiped off his forehead.
Yes. | was a good deal run down be-
fore | got IA bicycle" he said; but
now" he added, determinedly gripping
The handles and taking aim ut an old
lady crossing the street, lit is the other
people who are that way" The old
lady was piled up in the sutter.-New
York Recorder.
Il shall not see you again, my dear,
for some time. | am going on the Con-
tinent for a couple Of months" In
deed! Does your husband go with
mo. Business matters necessi-
tate his staying in town." and doesn't
he object to your going away and leav-
ing him behind alone" Not In the
>, soI,hon IL Won RI ka my advice as