Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1896-04-02
THE Law AND THE HAT.
Laws against the high hat

Laws against the high hat
uisance, so called, have been
dream of legislative specialists
for some time past, but the difs
ficulty has always been to frame
and enforce a penalty, What are
you going 60 do with a woman
who will?
There is a bill now before the
Ohio Legislature which attempts
to deal with this matter in the
true modern scientific spirit.
This spirit first of all seeks a
focus CT responsibili.- and the
Ohio bill. which has already been
passed by the House. makes the
manager it's focus. He is to De
fined three dollars for every high
hat left standing in his theatre
after the curtain rises. How
pleased the Ohio managers will
be if the Senate also passes the
bill!
The text of the Ohio act is not
before US. but no doubt it creates
an Objects a poor bill that
doesn't create an ofice-Of Luz
spector of Big Hats in Theatres.
Then the question will arise,
where is this functionary to be
stationed. whether at the door or
in the aisles-hov is he to de-
eide, whether according to meas
uremeut or his conscience
whether there is to be an appeal
from his decision. or the fine is
to be irreversible? The aspect
Of a theatre after three nights of
this would be remarkable. Either
every woman in town would be
present, in the biggest hat she
could muster up, or else the hall
would be empty Of women alto
gether.
But there is no doubt whether
the manager deserves pity. He
Gecries the big hat in public, but
IN his secret heart he is a time
server. He knows very well
that women go to the theatre to
be seen. Anything they may
choose to put on-the pretty
dears only SO that they buy his
tickets. Indeed, it is cruel tC
make this man judge in his own
case, for his bread and butter de
pend on their favor. The best
thing for him to do, in case OF
the passage Of the bill-indeed il
is his only chauce-is to set up a
new fashion as a counter irritant,
say aigrettes.
The aigrette, which has al
ready been received with enthu-
siasm in the East, is as capital a
substitute for the big hat as
could be desired. Indeed, in de~
vilishness of torture it is more
ingenious. With the high hat
you at least knew where you
we're; there was a blank wall in
frontof you, it is true, and you
had no chance of seeing anything
of the play, bat you knew the
worst at first, and could possess
your soul in patience.
The worst of the aigrette, on
the other hand, is that it is Sc
specious. 1t sticks up into the
air very thin and elegant, and
you bless the disappearance of
the big hat. But soon you dis
cover the obliquity Of the new
adornment. At first your vision
is unobstructed, and you can see
not only the hero and heroine,
but some of the subordinate
characters; but presently that
live black line begins to dance as
if it we're alive. Wherever you
look it follows you; you can see
nothing else; it becomes a pos
session. At last you realize that
you are going mad, and you
grasp your hat and rush hur-
riedly out of the theatre.
Yes, the women of Ohio have
it in their power to take a re-
venge.
Furious storms are reported to
be raging near Bristol. Tenr.
Trains are badly i~nterfered with
by the heavy rainfall.