New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-21
THE Tux or THE DAY.

Figaro" OF Paris. seys II Il proposed to make
the -iXtieih Anniversary OF Queen Victoria reign
imposing monarchcal demonstration. In which
all the r"igning sovereigns Of Europ" Will take
official part II adds that there some
diplomatic difficulties In the way OF this hut they
Will he overcome.
1T isn't y bit OF trouble to get married. said
NO" spakc he scdate one. 1T IL in being mar
rled that the trouble "-dndanapolis Journal
The Commercial club OF Kansas city has taken
steps TO erect a statue Of Thomas Benton.
Fond Mother Ny dear. are you feeling any bet
ter
Dolly dunno IL the Jelly an gone
Fond Mothef-rcs my dear.
DOlly-Well. think am well enough TO get ZIP
now.-Crit-Hiis
The Paris "N+lo" a daily journal devoted to the
bicy Gle has opened Its columns 10 opinions. In
interview communication. concerning the hill
providing for a bicycle tax which Will shortly Toe
debated in the Chamber OF Deputies. \ reporter
OF the "Nclo' called on Emile Iola. who il we'll
known az an enthusiastic cycsf. The novclIst's
answer TO the question Should "A tax be levied on
bicycles: was short and simple II would have
bicycles relieved OF all tax. and my reason Is
simply that any impcdiment placed I'm the way OF
the free exercise and development OF the wheel Is
n social error.
The wife Of a wcll-known merchant OF this city
who resides in Germantown. adopted n novel
method the other day OF making sure that her
ness for her while In the city. She gave him
letter on parting with him nj the door OF their
home. begging him not to open 1t until ne reached
his Office Arriving at his office. ne opened the
letter aud read. II am forced to tell you some
duty to DO I am determined that you shall
know 1t. let the result bc what II may ] have
known for week that II coming. but kept II
TO myself until to-day. when 1t has reached
crisis. and | cannot keep the secret any longer
You must not censure mo too harshy. for you
must reap the result as well as myself. | do hope
it won't crush YOU The cold perspiration coy
cred his forehead with the fear NJ some approach
ing calamity He turned The page. his hair slowly
rising, and continued: The coal has all been
consumed. Please call and order some to be SEM
home this afternoon. 7 thought by this plan Won
would not forget It," And he Observation-Disclosures
Record.
An English journal tells an amusing anccdote
concerning "A wealthy Irish lady whose summer
house Is situated near garrison town in Ireland
4 few days she sent an invitation 70 Captain
4 TO take ten with her saying that "the pleas
ure OF CAPTAIN As company Is respectfully re.
quested." etc.
Scene on an Electric Car.-Well, groomed citizen
to heather Chinee: Move up John. ana make
You're highlander, Your. highlander.
say Having reiterated the 'highbinding' state
mcnts several times. he inquiries OF John whats
the matter with him Me no speak to YOU, You
much whisky. You don't know what YOU
say" This brings the laugh the citizen. and
he grows wroth the heather smiles. What 4
Athens In preserving ones tcmper.-l Boston
Transcript
To her astonishment, she received by orderly
the following note. enlisted men John and Smith
have been detailed TO do guard duty brit the
mainder Of Captain As company accept with
pleasure Mrs. Ms polite invitation"
Bystanderwasnt that pretty stiff price you
asked that for those SHOES?
Storekeeper-Yes that's business. They're not
good for anything. Of course he won't come
again. Therefore might well get as much
as out OF him.-tBoston Transcript
Among the memories OF the recent political cam
paign the recollection OF some OF the Transparent
ces carried by college students in the torchight
professions Is rot the least amusing In the big
parade In Boston the Harvard Dental College stu
dents carried among their notices these two strk-
Ing aphorsms Gold Makes Sound Money and
Sound Teeth" and I'VE Furnish Gas TO George
Fred williams" Some OF the sophomores mas
queraded coming from Radclir College, with
the trenchant motto: I'VE Want Gold Rings"
Every one remembers how heartily President
Cleveland laughed. at the recent Princeton cclc-
bration at the motto the Princeton boys held be-
fore him: Send Your Sons 10 Princeton Grover"
His Poignant Grief.-"What earth are you
believing so hard about. Freddy"
Daddy whipped me
Well what IL lie did? You've been whipped he
fore and the occasion doesn't cell for such heart
rcndng grief
But he w-w-w-whipped me with a s-s.s-switch
cpt from the Christmas t-t-t-tree. "-lTruth.