Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1896-04-24

"That's the worst l ever heard" said
Larkin as he turned to his desk again.
But he was not to escape SO easily. The
invisible Bobby. Allen almost immedi-
ately broke into second verse, which, II
such thing could be possible, was moro
wildly idiotio than the first. Larkin
ohewed his pen and listened to the second
verso and the chorus, tho latter being
varied sufficiently to give the Information
that the man with the whiskers was fire.
quently mistaken for goat.
II suppose that fellow Is rehearsing for
some entertainment, said Larkin. II
hope he doesn't take it into his head to re-
hearse very often. That must be the la
test popular song. It's bad enough to be
popular"
It was perhaps two minutes later when
Larkin heard the following announcement
made in a loud voice, "Mr. Bobby Allen,
the we'll known comic singer, will now
render his latest success, entitled He Has
Whiskors Made of Hay"
NOW what in thunderf" exclaimed
Larkin.
Then that calliope voice again, this time
with plano accompaniment:
I'm dandy man, as you can see,
Dressed in the latest sty-ale.
Tho ladies' hearts are sure to break
When on them do smi-ale.
Ny life would be, etc.
Once moro the singer went through two
verses, this time repeating the chorus after
the second verse. Larkin sat with his feet
on the table and wondered what kind of
place he had moved into.
The whole building had relapsed into
absolute silence, and no sound could be
heard except the broken rumble of Mad1-
sou street, and even that was much soft
ened by distance. Larkin reflected that
If he were at all superstitious he might
conclude that variety performer had been
murdered in the old building at one time
or another and had now returned In spirit
to make life miserable for the tenants.
1t did not seem possible that any sane
man would be bawling comic songs In
such a manner merely for his own enter
tainment. Larkin knew there was no au
dience present. Even on the supposition
that 1.-THE we'll known comic singer was
rehearsing a new song there seemed to be
no possible excuse for the announcement
each time. r
"There must be a private lunatio asylum
in this building" That was Larkin's
conclusion as he nervously began to make
the entries in his order book. Before he
had written six lines the entertainment
was resumed.
IA comic story entitled 'Casey's Trou-
bles, by the we'll known comedian, Eddie
Farrell" was the announcements.
Larkin groaned in spirit, but he had to
sit back and listen. The story was In
Irish dialect, of the kind that is heard on
the stage:
"Oi wuz wookin down Clark strate this
marnin, whin OF met me old frind Mool-
cahy. Siz he, 'Oi wuz down to your
house Yesterday Siz OF, why the divil
didn't ye COON IMP An, siz he, Sure, OF
don't know where ye liver Will, sir, OF
niver see such mon as Moolcahy," etc.
Larkin was something of an Irishman
himself, and this style of entertainment
went against the grain. He was mad,
vexed and puzzled. Not only was he dis
traoted from his work and pestered by
continuous show, but he was beginning
to doubt the evidence Of his own senses.
That story teller went ahead in high sing
song voice for several minutes, telling bad
jokes, and then he turned in and told
them all over again.
"Maybe won't see the agent of this
building tonight" exclaimed Larkin,
throwing down his pen and pacing excit-
edly up and down the room.
Another announcement was being
made "Mr. Bobby Allen, the we'll known
comic singer, will now render his latest
success, entitled He Has Whiskers Made
of Hay"
This was the last straw. Larkin bolted
into the hallway and pounded against the
door of the first room across the hallway.
"SayP' he yelled.
The singing continued, buta big man in
his shirt sleeves opened the door a few
inches and said: "Sh! Keep still there"
"What's the matter with you people9"
"Shl Ship
Larkin pushed his way into the room.
There was the singer, small, baldheaded
man, standing in front Of big phonograph
funnel, into which he was shouting bis
lines. There were monographs on tables
all around the room. Larkin understood
the situation, and he reiterated without Of
fering a word of explanation. He went to
bis room and put on his overcoat. AS he
came into the hallway the --latest success"
was once more being announced. The
agent Of the building said the phonograph
people had lease.
"Well," said Larkin, II wouldn't stay
In that room all day for $50. I'll move
again. "-Chicago Record.