The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-04-23
WILLIE'S SECOND EPISTLE.
The Pennsylvania Dutch Woman Be-
comes a Nuisance.

| forgot to tell you in my former
letter that my ma is only my step
mother, but | call her ma out of
respect for my pa. Do you think l
would be so mean as to write about
my mother? No! sir, don't think
1t for moment My ma is a Pop
ulist. She don't take your paper.
Pa takes it but he is not allowed to
bring 1t into our house My ma
won't allow no Democratic paper to
come in either. She takes two
Populist and one PROM bition paper.
She does not know l write about
her, besides | amt afraid of Ter
finding it out. My ma has fsw
good traits of character anyhow.
She will not gossip nor listen to
gossip. She has printed rules, and
she is always extremely careful to
have every person who comes into
our house to read them over. Ny
ma don't like to lend things, but
she says that she can hardly refuse
at times. The Pennsylvania Dutch
woman is great on the "borry."
Most every day she runs in to
"borry" something.
One time my pa had my head
felt. The professor charged pa
fifty cents for feeling around my
Uranium. He told pa to make Il
prize fighter or a base ball player
out of me. Pa asked why. He
said "because your sons organ of
language is SO wonderfully devel-
oped.'' Then he fingered around
my forehead and told pa that if it
were not for my gift of CAB that |
might succeed in mec hanics, and he
said further, "Your sou 10 immense
on color and size. lie could meas
ure bolt of muslin without the use
of stick or rule and not go astray
in measurement one inch"
The Pennsylvania dutch woman
has been playing my ma for sucker
for sometime, One day when | was
IN real good humor | thought
would put ma onto this old girls
racket. Ma, said, you are a real
smart woman, but that Pennsylva-
MIA dutch neighbor of ours is just a
little smarter than you are in some
things. She has been Joshing you
all winter. My ma gave me one of
those looks which always proceeds
one of her storms, and told me to
attend to my own affairs. But ma,
| said, kind of meek and lowlv like,
our dutch neigh Dor borrows cup
of sugar or cup of coffee when the
price Of coffee or sugar is high, and
she hardly ever returns it until the
price gets so low that she is afraid
that it will 60 up again. At this
bit of information my ma seemed
to be no little surprised. l felt en-
couraged and went on with my good
work. | told ma l had noticed
when the Pennsylvania dutch wo-
man came in to "borry" she always
had great big cup, and when she
paid ma back she brought very
much smaller cup. | told ma also
that there was vast difference in
the color of the sugar "borried"
and sugar returned. This made
my ma red headed, and she said, 81
believe you know what you are
talking about. You are authority
on size and color. Here, take this
money and buy me pair of scales. "
Ma put the scales in the pantry for
future use. A few days later on
the old dutch gal came along with
the same old borrowing cup. "Mrs.
H. she said, 81 came to borry
cup of sugar and DRAWN of tea. -
Smilingly, my ma said, "Oh! GER
tainly, certainly. Mrs. G., | am
only too happy to be able to accom-
modate YOU Ma went into the
pantry and weighed the cup of sugar
and marked the weight on the
inside of the cupboard door with a
piece Of chalk. When she returned
to the sitting room she handed the
Pennsylvania dutch woman the
sugar and said, "Mrs. g., have you
noticed how sugar has been adyan-
cling lately? 1t went up one and
quarter cents only yesterday. |
hope You can return what | have
loaned You by Saturday. We are
nearly out of sugar and my bus
band has concluded to buy,no more
at retail" On the following after
noon Mrs. G. returned the loan. |
followed ma into the pantry, and
when she emptied it into the scoop
| told ma to look how dark it was.
Ma saw that she was beat but she
quietly replied, go, it viii do for
baking purposes. Ma knew was
watching the scales and tried hard
to keep me from seeing how much
Suuar Uac 1ackinu in wpluht If