Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1896-01-29
RIVERSIDE GOSSIP.


The town of Glenn's Ferry, at its best not quite
equal to Chicago is especially dull just now It con
tains ttree hotels, two OF general merchandise
two barber shops, about fifty cur dogs, and perhaps
two dozen gossips.
The business houses are "hoding their own
whatever that means-the dogs consist principally Of
bark more unadulterated howl to the square inch
than anything you ever heard not excepting our ma
tive coyote and the gossips 1t Is OF them l wish to
speak.
We will condense the two dozen into one and call
her "Marier.' OF course men never gossip-so We
shall have to put her in the feminine gender have
met Marier frequently, in the last few weeks, and
here are some Of her remarks
"pid you attend the New Years ball? l didn't
think much of the music-dd your
wouldn't you think Mrs. Poorman would get
new dress or stay at homer
'Some Of the railroad boys are getting laid Off and
don't suppose have enough money to live on. Don't
you think 1t serves them rght?-they might have
saved their wages"
81 hear that Mr.. d. and Miss c. are to be married
Well, women in Idaho, but didn't think
he would marry her. guess he wouldn't only 1t is
Leap Year Do you think they will get along to-
gether"
Now, Marier, bend down your shell-like ear while
answer you and preach you a little sermon:
Yes attended the New Year ball, and as I did
not go with heart fnl Of malice, had pleasant
time l got along without finding fault with the
music. 1t was good enough for to dance TO and
as to the rest am not a critic. In fact am not
much Of a musician, but am a modern orpheus com.
pared to you. Now, own up, Marier, that you can't
tell Yankee Doodle from old hundred unless you see
the words.
No; don't think Mrs. Poorman ought to stay at
home il she enjoys associating with friends and
neighbors, and behaves like a lady, let her 90 and a.
to the old dress, admire her courage and economy
in sticking to II, and it takes courage have worn
shabby dress myself and know what am takug
about. l presume that il she run her husband in
debt for new dress, you would have something to
say about that.
wonder il you really glad to see any ono out
OF work these hard times. OF course they might have
managed better and so might you and l. 1t is not
likely that makes it any easier to bear l can only
hope that your heart is not quite so cruel as your
tongue, which seems to turn on pivot
Yes; have heard of the forthcoming marriage OF
Mr. b. and Miss c. don't know whether Leap Year
has anything to do with ii not and | don't care
AS to their getting along, hope they will wish
them every joy. May theirs be little Eden where
no meddng serpent can enter just think OF two
loving young people, with the future looking bright
to themi and you commence croaking like bird OF
illomen, before the marriage ceremony is performed
Since you mention it, can't help thinking Marier,
that you must have been married in Leap Year. and
women must have been scarce as hens teeth As
you are, you would make pretty good old maid
don't mean the modern single woman with kind
heart and active brain, but the stage old maid the
time, genuine oantankerous spocimen-the pas
sonless, ENJOYABLE sour kind-the kind that most
cordially hate Now, nature gave you the form of q
woman, and you could be sweet and gracious il you
could hold that lively tongue Of yours. Those little
hands Of yours were meant to be extended in kind
ness, to pat little children their golden heads and
to wipe away tears of sorrow Your lips were made
for tender kisses and to speak gently the errng
well as Of them. You don't need voice like Patti TO
express sympathy. Some OF the incest things | ever
listened 10 were not even expressed grammatically.
1 can't imagine what pleasure you find in deliber.
ately saying things that make this poor old world
more miserable If you were man, would suggest
that committee be appointed to give you good
kicking and II were man and wore No. 9s should |
not object to being the committee
You had better get map, study the boundary line
OF British Guiana, read up the Monroe doctrine con
Germ yourself with the Transvaa trouble occupy your
time with anything harmless and that will give you
something to talk about besides your neghbors and
their affairs. But am afraid you won't,
Marier,
You never tire,
And in that you somewhat resemble MERMAID