Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1896-12-14
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The Kneippist maiden sadly limps,

one IdH u lAOIL IulO AcL lOc
Cleveland Leader.
Duzbey-I understand that Mrs Buzz
buz has begun divorce proceedings.
Doobey-On what grounds? Dudley
South Dakota. -Roxbury Gazette.
"Open confession, they say, is GOOD
for the SOUL Eyes, good for the soul
that makes it, but very tough on the
one that has to listen to it. Chicago
Record.
"Say, father, why have all the pic
lures got frames?' why, you little
fool, so that the artist may know when
to stop painting, of course. "-FHegende
BIaetter.
willie, you mustn't mock people
when they speak. It's very impolite."
IT didn't mean to be impolite, mamma.
was just playing was the echo.'-
Harper's Round Table.
Photographer (to Uncle sD-"You are
q splendid sitter, sir" Uncle ST.
''Wall, so the say to home I've been
practicin' sittin' for nigh onto twenty
years. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Miss Daisy Medders (coyly)- do you
love me, Jason?'' Jason Huclxleberry-
:" Course love you! Do you spose I'd
have been actin the fool over you all
this time if I didn't ?'-Truth.
did you divide your bonbons with
your little brother, Mollie?' Eyes, ma;
I ate the candy and gave him the mot
toes. You know he is awfully fond Of
reading. '-Chicago Inter Ocean.
There came a burst of thunder sound
The boy! Oh, where was he?
He grabbed his water-cycle-
Went scorching DER the sea.
Chicago Record.
Hicks-'T hear there is trouble be-
tween Bowser and his wife," Hicks
Eyes; he brought home tandem, and
they have been fighting ever since
about who shall ride in front. "-Bos-
ton Transcript.
She-"He whistled as he went, for
want of thought. OF course it was a
boy You wouldn't find girl whistling
for want of thought" He-"No; she
wouldn't whistle; she'd talk."-1nd1an-
apolis Journal.
''You say you got even with that
stingy relative of yours by giving his
boy a bicycle? How is that?" Don't
you see? It'll cost him more to buy the
extras than l paid for the wheel
New York Herald
Mudge-s'If there is one thing do
pride myself on, it is my independence
of character Wickwire-"Well, a
man who lives in the way you do does
Mt have to depend on his character
Indianapolis Journal.
Wickwire--''You seem to be pretty
we'll trained down since you got your
wheel and yet never see you riding"
Nudge don't have to ride. 1t keeps
me thin worrying about the payments"
Indianapolis Journal.
She-''You saw the Count of Brasse,
did you? Now, tell me, don't you think
he is a striking personage" He-"Yes,
do. had not been introduced to him
an hour when he struck me for loan
of $1O."-Harlem Life.
Citizen" There's plenty of work for
an able-bodied man to do. Why don't
you apply for position as sandwich
man? Tramp-"It's agin me conv1c-
tions. De newspaper is de on'y adver-
Using medium" Judge.
'sWho generally gets the last word
when one of your conventions gets IN
to an argument?" And the lady orator
looked pityingly at the masculine IN
ouirer and answered: "There isn't any
last word Washington Star.
Wife examining the bilI-"Do you
remember, my dear, how many trout
YOU caught last Saturday! Husband
s9There were just twelve; all beauties.
Why?, Wife-'"The f1shmonger has
made a mistake; he only charges for
half a dozen. '-Tit-bits.
81 thought, Alice, that you were en-
gagged to Harry Smith, and now hear
YOU are going to marry his father"
.rrhat's right, Maude. The old gentle
man said he could support only one OF
lis and I decided to be that one and
took the widower. detroit Free Press.
Indeed, Miss Rox, you are the only
girl I ever lived" began the young man
who was trying to propose to the elder
" heiress; 81 suppose you have had
that sort of thing said to you for the
mast twenty years, but in this IN
stance "Siry'- indianapolis Jour
nal.
WILLY am tired of this life, and l
am going to the other world" Marie
"What? Do you mean that you intend
to commit suicidew Will-"No, no;
mean London, Paris, and perhaps VI
emma" Marie-'I, too, am tired Of this
life. Take me with you, and let's have
q double funeral."-Town Topics.
II wish you would tell me- said the
agent, who had long been on Mr..
Snagg's trail, "what is your insuperable
objection to insuring your life?" Il
don't mind telling you," replied Snaggs;
.the idea of being more valuable after
I am dead than while am alive is dis
-