The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-04-04
PIKE WANTED A FOUT
FEB WHITE WAS SICK, BUT HE HAD
A SUBSTITUTE.

.wollopedest Man In Sight and How .
Good Wife Was Spoiled as a Very Nat
urai Consequence.
One October day Zeb White, the pos
sum hunter of Tennessee, took me along
with him when he went the rounds of
his woodchuck traps, and as we were
coming home he told me this story:
II worked so hard fur three or TO
vars arter the wah," he began, ''that l
got all run down and couldn't skeercely
git about. Thar wal days when l felt
purity we'll, and days when I jest sot
around and hadn't strength huff to
move outdoahs. That same var a crit
ter named Pike moved into the naybur-
hood. He was from Alabamy, I believe,
and he let it be known powerful soon
that he was a hefty man i'll a scrim-
mage. He talked so loud and blowed so
high that everybody was skeart o him,
and he jest went around steppin high
and bossin the roost. Reckon We hev
met up with SIGH chaps III the no'th?"
"Yes. I've seen several of them.
"That perky critter used to cum down
TO my cabin and brag and blow and tell
how many men he'd licked, and one day
l gin him plain to understan that ] didn't
believe in his stories. That made him
mad, and he went away sayin as how
he'd wollOp me fur his next victim.
He krowed l was III pore health and
couldn't G9ht a fly, but every two or
three days he'd cum down and stand in
front Of the cabin and yell:
"'Now, then, Zeb White, cum out
yere and git the awfu1lest wollopin a
human critter ever received. I'm no
hand to brag, but I kin tie both hands
behind me and then chaw ye up in two
minits. I've licked Al different men and
never even got my nose skinned. Either
own up that ye dasn't fight a man or
cum out and be w%olloped.
"That's the way he'd talk to me, y
continued Zeb, "and I'd cit SO mad that
I cried like a child. Bimeby I begun to
xit a leetle better, and one day when he
was calm on me to cum forth and be
wolloped / told him that if he'd show
up a week from that day ia tackle him.
He went away crackin his heels and
whoopin and rejoicin, and the old wom-
an seq to me, seq she:
"'Zeb White, if ye was a we'll MAJ
W could wollop that critrer befo' |
could mako "A hoe cake, but ye've bin
down the banks all sulnmer, and ye'
can't git we'll i'll IL week. I'm sorry ye
passed yer word. but hein it's passed
We'll hev to abide by it. I'll git whisky
and roots tomorrer and brace We up"
And did you get better?' | asked.
mo. / got wuss. Whisky and roots
didn't do me no good. When the week
was up, I was in bed and too feeble te
walk across the room, That pesky critte1
knowed jest how it was with me, anC
yit he cum and stood in front Of the
cabin and shouts to tho ole woman
Gar this the dwellin place of {
varmint named Zeb White?'
"'She be-.
"'Calls hisself the Postum Hunter
of Tennessee, don't he?'
"'Yes, he do.
HAS wrassled with bars and wild.
cats and painters, and thinks hisselt
powerful on the tight?'
"'That's my Zob.'
Then | hain't made no mistake
Would ye do me the e%verlastin kindness
to tell him tostep out yere while Ichaw
his ears off to stay my hunger!
"'He's sick abcd jest now, but i
yen cum back arter dark he'll make "
sat grass and heller like Il calf
"'I'll do it, ma'am! Thar won't b,
no mo- delay?'
"'No, sahl'
"'He'll cum right out and'be pulver
lied, will hep
"'He will!'
"'Then ye kin DO lookin fur me
Widder White! III be kinder sorry t
see death take him from We. but I nus
hev him fur my forty-eighth victim
Good AFTERNOON, Widder White-goo,
AFTERNOON!
That's how they Talked said Ze'
~ he heaved Il rock at II snake summing
himself on a rock, land Of co'se l hear
every word OF it, l jest couldn't hel
weepin with my madness. How was
to 60 ont and fight him when | coulGn'
git outer bed? That's what l asked tn
ole woman, and she sorter winked an,
smiled and seq to me, seq she:
"'Zeb, doan' ye worry no mo- hon
this wollopin bizness, but leave it all t
me-. If that varmint shows up yere to
night, he'll be the wurst licked man j
all Tennessee befo' he gifts awayr
but who's gwine to lick him?'
"'Neyer ye mindn
"She wouldn't say nomo'," continue
Zeb, "and I was too feeble to figger
out. I cried myself to sleep. and it we
after dark when l woke up. That tina
varmint had cum back, 'cordin to prom
ise. and was in front of the cabi
%a-shout;n:
"'Zeb White, the time has cum fl
ye to be pulverized. Mebbe I won't d
no mo- than chaw yer ears off and cril
pie ye fur life, but I'll do that much fl
shore. Cum outer yer hole and stand I
to me like a man.
"Jest about the time he begun to no
Ter my ole woman begun to git outer hl
clothes and inter mine.
"'What ye gwine to do?' SEE l..
"'Gwine out to wollop that critter
die. seq she.
"'But ye ar a woman and he's
powerful fighter
"'Zeb White, ye snuggle down al
keen ouiet Haas cum f,1r a font He