Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1896-03-27
FUN WHILE WAITING.

A MYSTERIOUS FAT GERMAN IN 4
NEW YORK FERRYHousE.
He Seemed to Be Sleepy. Yet He Provided
Entertainment For Those Present Until
the Boat Arrived. and Then He Went
Aboard and Disappeared.
He was = fat German. He looked as
II he might be prosperous saloon keep
er. He signalized his entrance into the
Cortlandt Street ferry house by series
of loud meows which sounded SO natural
that the half hundred people who were
waiting for the boat looked around tor
the oats. The fat man was under the
weather. He strolleS. over to the steam
radiator in the center Of the room, and
in a couple of minutes voices were
heard. First they were in the northeast
corner Of the room up near the ceiling.
Some one up there seemed to be carrying
on an animated conversation with him
self. It was plain that the some one was
q German.
"Chakey." said the voice, "vod your
wife will say do you alretty. ha? You
voz ono tam fool k'vick yet" .,sf. ,''
The wumen in the ferryhouse began to
look nervous. They gazed at the ceiling
at the spot from where the voice SEEM
ed to come The men were looking there
too. The fat German stood by the radi-
ator, his head over his breast, and SEEM
ed to be sound asleep.
"Fire! Fire! Fire' cried a.voice in
the southwest corner. ........<
Everybody jumped up. The women
grabbed the arms of their escorts. The
fat German still slept, and the voice
sounded again, this time seemingly from
the platform of an automatic weighing
machine.
"Chakey, you vos a prute! Vod for
you wand der ladies do SCARE vod2 l
bunch your nose alretty."
This was somewhat reassuring. Ev-
erybody seemed to realize at the same
instant that there was ventriloquist
with big range Of voice around some
where, and everybody looked at the
German. He seemed still to be1psleep.
But in a moment he moved uneasily.
Then he lifted the ragged stump OF a
cigar he had in his hand, opened his
eyes sleepily and put the stump into
his mouth. Some fire was left in the
cigar stump, but he didn't seem to no.
tice it. He munched on the butt as if it
were a sweet morsel. Everybody was
watching him. He chewed perhaps q
minute. Then he swallowed the stump,
and the next instant pulled q new cigar
out Of his ear, bit off the end and light
ed it.
II no puy cigars, he said. II maig
dem."
The crowd was nightly interested
and gathered close around. He didn't
seem to like that, and he snorted:
"Vod you dink, you vools beoble?
Gauze maig cigar you dink I vos q
WOOL I unmaig i'd" Saying which he
put the fresh cigar, lighted rs it was,
back into his ear. He seemed to shove
it out of sight and calmly took from his
other ear the ragged butt that he had
Sut a moment before chewed up and
swallowed. He pulled on it. 1t was still
lighted. One Of his eyelids began
twitching.
my lug vos gone," he said. II hat
nails in my head ven vools loog ad me.
With the tips Of his fingers he lifted
the twitching lid and pulled ont a five
inch iron spike, like those used to fasten
down steel rails.
II vos durn do one BEIGE off iron al
retty if you boobies dond ka'vit," he
snorted, and he pulled another spike
from the other eye. At the same instant
the ragged butt disappeared. and in it's
place was another fresh cigar. He lit
that. Next he pulled a couple of yards
of muslin out of his mouth and wiped
his eyes, after which he put back the
spikes. He seemed to drive them right
into the ball of either eye. The women
were shocked and turned away. He
pulled a whisky glass from his pocket,
bit pieces out Of it and chewed them
with relish.
"Chentlemens, he said, IT voz 'un-
CRY. Cand you hellub me?"
"Thought it was fake like that"
said two or three Of the men in the
crowd.
"Well, it's cold day when he gets
any of my money!" said two or three
others.
Moneys" growled the fat German.
"You dink am ige you WOOL boobies
vod cad mead mid. I voz nod. I cad
baber; dod voz cheaber. Will aomepoddy
helb boor man do biece off baber?
Ziff me dod," he said, snatching an
evening paper from the hands of one Of
the men. He tore two pages from it, and
on the corner of one he stuffed
IL into hi mouth ov1 orr - A. 1ooct IL