The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1896-11-23
THE NOBLE ART OF SPEECH.

Chuck tonnora Improvises n Contributes
10 tho American Pathological journal.
It was at Ca!lahan's. on Saturday night.
Chuck Connors tells it this way:
Dere was tree OF us whom d. chaw came in.
What's a chawp Say. don't you know what a
chaw is? He's a mug wild a spongn IN his
mout,, you know; n f~iannei-mout' bloke. Well.
der was tree Of us when d. chaw came In. n
he bangs his ~toot'pick on d. bar. Toot'pickf
Why, dat's d. DIN hook day uses { scrap wit n
Z trow cases. He bangs his toot'pick on d bar
n says, Line up n t'row in What dat? Say.
you're u undertaken. OATS N Invitation on der
reservation. lie says. Line up n t'row in
So we lines up. d. tree on US N d. boss. Ii says
mixed vale D. boss, he says, he'd smoke .
lamp. Aw! say. forget it. 1 t'ink day could
ring in a peter on n mug as slow as you. Smoke
alamp? Why, dats a torch. Don't cha know
what a torch is Well, up in d. Tendaloin dey
calls IN a cigar. Peter? Oh. run away, Chaw-
ley-some bloke'd steal you. Peter? OATS d.
queer what the dago shoves n d monks takes.
Aw. E'wan! What tllr Queer. Don't know
queer; say. you'd take 1t: i. OATS on d. dead
Why, its a counterfeit, see ? Say. dye t'ink yo
kin josh me? You don't know dat a dnGo's n
Ayetalian, n a monks a chink ? Say. ye're dead
ratty. A chlnk-why. OATS n Ch!nee.
well, l was tellin' ye-de boss lie says Le'd
smoke a lamp. D. slinger-aw. say, you give
$3.50 bNse 80. wa 'NSNb
20 idiot D. singer he twists out four dead
ones n a torch. Say. on d. level. y got me dead
leary. What did we tell d. singer? we wanted
mixed vale. hay? Well. den. you ought know
dat dead ore's is mixed. D. Singer he twists out
four dead ones n a torch. D. chaw he says.
What cha want?' D. singer he says, 'Ioity.'
"'Toity what p says d. chaw.
"'Toity cents says d singer.
De chaw he counts Wan, two, tree, four
~ , ,p--f IA 9va Tv.prty. n yN IN siEE
"'Toity, we chaw.' says d. Singer, reaching
for his cracker.
"'Toity HE'LL says d chaw. 'Foive fo!ves Ia
twenty-foive.'
DE boss he says. smokes ten-cent torchsA
ye know
"'Phat:' says d. chaw. Tin clnts fur Q
cigar? D. ye tink I'm a good t'ingF'
ID boss he says, We'll, I wanted a good
smoke
"'Good smoke says d. chaw. Good smoke
is it ye want.''n he dives down into his pocket
n he brings out his poipe N ~terbaccy n hands
+ at chin him; for 'h ! aisar he W says' w ,,aSs me po.Ds;
a collar outside when no landed; Collar,,say.
collars a cop. Well, der was a collar outside
when he landed. n fought he was Eoin'
in d Tendaloin,b but you're a peter here. Sneeze
him what d. he'll do a cop do when he nails y
rsneeze him. But he didn't. What did he do
tohim : Say ferget it. bet d. chaw aint sat
down since. Saw | fought day'd need u RATHER
I move him. Rattler-ye gilly. what do day
take a chaw of in when q collar gifts troo
beltin' HIM generally? A ~rattler's a ambulance,
dat's what. Well l fought day'd need a
rattler t take dis chaw of. D. boss he never
turned n hair. He tells us Z t'row in wit him n
and we trowed. n he lights d. lamp d chaw
d:dn't pay for. Say. d. boss is a dead ~levelest
bIOke On der reservation. Say, he'd stand at q
bar n blow his brains out wit cha"
VIVA became OF the chaw. Chuck :" asked
the reporter.
"Aw. say. what become o. last winters
snow ~ answered Chuck.