The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1896-01-18
HAD eoMETHINo BETTER.
Ii Man Who Didn't Believe In the Pc
tao LIS u Penwiper.

The Man Who Didn't Believe In the Po-
tao Us = Penwiper.
A spare, nervous looking man, array
, in o rusty suit CT black and carrying
u small valisa in his hand, went into
one of the leading hotels the other day
and addressed himself to the clerk:
81 see yoa use a raw potato as a pen.
wiper" he observed.
eyes" replied the hotel clerk, who
happened to DO at leisure and in u mood
to be- gracious. '1t is as good as any.
thing else and keeps the pen from cor.
roding."
"Haye you ever made an estimate, I"
askGa'the stranger, leaning forward and
| speaking IN a confidential tone, ''of the
probable effect Of the general adoption
of the potato as u penwiper, or rather a
pensticker?"
II don't think / have" said tine
clerk.
at is worth your while, sir, re-
Joined the man in black, speaking ear.
nestly and hurriedly, "There are in
this town today probably not less than
400 hotels that habitually use potatoes
to stick their pens in. Each one takes a
fresh potato every morning. That uses
up 200 potatoes a day. In a bushel there
are about 100 potatoes Of the size Of
this one you are using. That makes two
bushels a day, or $50 bushels a year.
Do you begin to see'-
my friend h.
ssUya:k m ,c1xr.k T1.ok a. -,1-o1,
the beginning. have spoken only Of
the hotels. The use of the potato as u
pensticker is growing constantly. 1t is
spreading to mercantile establishments.
Imagine what will be the consequences
when the hotels and stores and offices
of this town use up 100, 900 selected po-
tatoes every day! ThinB of it! The
Jnormou total of SO. 500, 900 potatoes,
or $40, 600 bushels in one year in Chi
cago alone! And every blamed potato
gone to waste! a potato, sir, is no good
when 1t is stuck full of ink. 1t is rem
dered absolutely ~valueless. Imagine, if
you cam
"Say, are yoa"-
mo, sir. I am not a potato enthusi.
asst. l lam a plain citizen, with a head
for figures and the figures to show For it
With . view of doing what one man
crn do to prevent a custom thought
lessly and inadvertently adopted FROM
becoming q national calamity" he pro-
coeded. opening his ~valise, II have ir
vented q little arrangement Of wood,
leather aud tissue paper. call it the
comprehensive penwiper. 1t is, as you
see, very much more ornamental than n
potato. 1t is cheaper. Ii involves no
waste Of a useful food product. Renew
ed once u week, it will last a year at a
total expense off,
al don't want it."
cit "a total expense, / was about 70
say
II don't care what >he expense is. I
d,n't want it,"
You don't, hey?"
"No. / wouldn't have a carload Of
them as a gift"
"Oh, sou wouldn't You don't care
how soon there comes a shortage in the
potato crol and the price runs up 20 $40
a busaeil That's the sort of man yoi
IRE, is it? You're willing to go ahead
and plunge the country into a pota.c
famine, are you? Rather than spend 25
cents for a useful invention you'd see
the whole d-ned country starve, would
you? A : .an, sir, that will stand right
mp in the face Of facts and statistics-a
man that can't be reached by figures
AID doesn't care for figures-is a man,
sir, that would have committed the
crime of 1873 if he'd had the chance.
That's all, siri"
He put the comprehensive penwiper
back in his ~valise, slut the latter with
a loud snap and with a look of lordly
scorn ftrode away. Chicago Tribune.