The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-07-25

DratleS.
$50 you had celebrities PRESENT."
Oats it--cel-e-braties till ye couldn't
rest. Let's see. Dere was One Eyed
Mike of Hester street, Big Nance of
Elizabeth street, Hump Jim of Forsyth
street, and. in fact, all dc swells fur a
mile around. Dey was logged up in reg
lar Fifth avnoo style, and oh, de di-
nuns and pearls and rubies! De sight
of 'em jest kept me heels liftin off de
floor. Mott street won't see SIGH "a sight
ag'in fur "a hundred years.
"Well, everything went off all righti"
"No, Gully, as I'm sorry to say. Ev-
erything was all tight till Limpy Smith
showed up wild Long Necked Sarah on his
arm. Dey used to be friends Of de fam
lily, but as dey didn't know how to wear
deir clothes we had to cut 'em. Dey
same. When de dukess got sight of EN-
he broke loose and yelled:
"'W'at de bloomin blazes ar We doin
here widout IA keerd? Get out, or I'll
mash ye to pulp!"
dat started de row, Gully. Every
body quit smilin and GRIMM and bein
o Fifth avnoo swell, and went in fur
to knock sumOody else out. De dukess
went down fust wild a smash on his
nose, and den it was a gineral row till
de peelers cum in and arrested de hull
crowd but me. When de row begun, l
got out ON de roof of de next house to
mediate, and so dey didn't find me A
few others got away by de fire escapes,
but dc peelers walked 80 Of 'em to de
cooler, and de dukess and duchess head
ed de purceshun. Ye know what a
pal-a-shul residence is, l take it?"
1--we heard of EN-"
"Well don't We make no mistake and
emagine dat our five room flat on de
seventh floor was a pal-a-shul residence
arter dat crowd got out! I'll hand ye
me teeth, Gully, if de scene of wreck
and desolashun didn't almost break Inc
heart. Dat wasn't de worst Of it, how
ever. De next mornin dey sent de dukess
over to de island fur 60, and de duchess
to de Tombs fur 80, and dey are dom
time dis mint. Excuse me while ] press
me hands over me bloomin heart to still
de jumpin. ! went up to see de dukess
dis mornin and found him standin on
one leg in de corridor as punishment ful
sassin a keeper. He was jest dat broke
up when he seed me dat he cried like q
child.
"'How much to get him out?' SEE
as l hauls out me checkbook.
"'T'ree million bones, seq de keeper
Il couldn't raise it, Gully, not wild
out sellin all me bonds and ]osin OF
'em, and so I had to leave him dere
Den I went down to. de Tombs to see d.
duchess. She'd bin pullin hair wild an
s other woman, and dey had her scrubbil
de floor, and / didn't know her fur MT
own mudder. De cum down from a ba.
V winder recep to scrubbin flagstones j
an awful drop, Gully. l pulls out m
s checkbook and offers 'em a million t
let her go, but dey wouldn't do it,"
"And so that is how the party cam
a out?''
y "Dat's how, ole man, and l want
: We to do me a favor. Don't say nuthi
in yer paper about how it turned out
We kin speak of it as de swell affair {
de sezun, and add dat de dukess an
uuClIcSO HtN tIlC VI q NoUl VI At"A
and won't be back fur a couple {
months. See?"
eyes"
Ode attempt to bring Mott street
de society front was Il dead failure, b'
it wasn't our fault. If Limpy jim an
Long Necked Sarah hadn't mixed in,
azure glory of dat recop would hev bel
de polish on a 80 cent shirt bosom.
. is an awful swipe on de dukess. I
won't be able to git full fur two hu
months, and it'll be a wonder if
"a lives the next ten days out. AS fur
:. duchess, her hearts broke, and She
. probably go out Of society altogethe
10 OATS all, Gully. Glad to see ye whe
ever l kin do ye good. IN. Quad
or Detroit Free Press.