Birmingham state herald., 1896-10-28
THE SPEAKIN' TONIGHT.
A FEW TERSE, TIMELY HINTS AS TO
 BEHAVIOR.
Read Carefully, That You May Enjoy Yourself Undisturbed, With the Con-
 sciousness of Being in Good Form"

The (alleged) headquarters of the (so- called) sound money gold standard ma tionaP' democratic party continues the rendezvous of last hope by day and inn penetrable darkness by night. Even the colored brethren have turned their backs on what once promised to be wheel of fortune. Undertaken (Chairman) Craw- ford and Assistant Kettig are still hang ing on to the sides of the merry-go-round, occasionally stopping to listen to the call of lonely sentinel, "AlPS well!"
 The contribution box is still grinning in the faces of the corporations and the commissaries are crying: "Peace be still! A little more slumber and a little more sleep, and a little more folding Of the hands to sleep.''
 Uncle Jeff" however, is coming to- night, accompanied by Gen. George P. Harrison, the retiring congress member from the Third district. They will speak to the wage earners UI. & ND at O'Brien'S except on the stage, and everybody Qail- road and corporation officials included) is invited to be present. This will doubt less be the last meeting of the Indianap- oils hussars in this city of any "magni- tude'' until after the battle, and crepe shall appear over the door of the now immortal (for renD "nationaP' headquar- ters.
 Nothing appears on the programme about "Weber's band" but it is generally accepted that it will march down First avenue about o'clock and play God Save the Queen" The band will then take its stand on the balcony of the opera house, where 1t will play the "Indanap- oils March," Hail to the Chief" to be followed by "Dixie" and Yankee Doo- dle'' combined as the speakers enter
 When the curtain rises those on the stage are expected to start the applause, the same to be taken up by parties sta- tioned throughout the audience. When Palmer's and Buckner's names are mentioned, the applause must be deafening, and must be followed with a few shrieks of "Hurrah for McKinley!' and when the last sound dies away all must be perfectly quiet and the speaker will begin the discussion of the financial question.
 At the mention of Bryan's name there should be slight, untitled applause, and half dozen say "Ntp' Should any of his friends applaud too loudly, hiss just little, to let them know you are loaded.
 Policemen will be stationed at the door with instructions to pull the first fellow who attempts to disturb the meeting by yelling "Whoopee! Hurrah for democra- cyv'
 When reference is made to Coercion" :" sit perfectly still and soak; possibly groan slightly at the striking points.
 When the speaker remarks about the "bloody shirt' and asserts his undefiled democracy, turn your heads about to suppress any grins that some enchanted spectators may unconsciously display. Be as dumb as an oyster If anybody nudges you-this is sore point on the body polite and has festered from too much riding.
 Let everybody yell to his hearts con- tent when the banner is unfurled thusly inscribed:
 "The combat deepen on ye brave, Who rush to glory or the grave. Wave, soldiers, all your banners wave, And charge with all your chivalry. An, few shall part when many meet, The snow shall be your winding sheet, And every tuft beneath your feet Shall be soldiers sepulchre." N. B.-Every wage-earner is requested to wear long coat, and if in this he fails and thereby exposes the badge on his trousers he will receive notice promptly to call and get his pay, as his services will be no longer needed.
 P. S.-If anybody says railroad law yers," either within or out of the opera, walk away as though you didn't hear 1t. This command Is official and mandatory.