The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1896-12-15
wAYSIDE GATHERINGS.
Bits OF Humor and Nuggets OF Truth
for the Multitude.

to cheat ones self.
The rich are rich because the poor
are industrious.
There is breed of dogs in Russia
that cannot bark.
There are thirty towns called
Washington in America.
An ounce OF encouragement Ia
worth pound OF faultfnding.
The Japanese, up to 1868 were
vaccinated on the tip of the nose.
- There Is growing demand in
England for human skin leather.
The biggest coward in all the
earth Is the man who is afraid to do
right. ~
The reproaches of enemies should
quicken us to duty, and not keep us
from it,
III you want your life to be q suc-
cess, never be found opposing the
truth.
| The pen is mighty engine, and
IL sometimes runs away with the en-
| gineer.
If thou desire the happiness of the
| child, teach him obedience and self
restraint.
No man ever believed that a cry-
Ing baby belonged as much to him as
w lCS lnOJnor.
Some women look at secret much
as man looks ut whiskey-as too good
to keep.
A woman readily pardons minis
ter's failings. To her, it's human to
forgive divines.
Cats are said Lo lie musical be-
cause their lnsides are composed most
ly of tiddlestring.
--Hc who does his best, however
little, is always to be distinguished
from him who does nothing.
Suppose everybody should stay
what would be the result.
Charcoal is very highly relishcd
by fowls, both young and old. Always
6eep supply before them.
Look ever on the bright side.
which is the heaven side of life. This
is far better than medicine.
Two states OF the Union-Wyo-
ming and Nevada-have less than one
lnhaDltant to the square mile.
There are many moro fools in the
world than there are '>naves, otherwise
the knavcs could not exist.
Every real nice old womaa thinks
that people like to hear about her mar
rled children and the grandchildren
The wise man Goes not tell all he
KNOWS ana does not always listen
while others tell all they know either.
Women comprise two-thirds of the
church me embers of the United States,
but only one. thirteenth OF the crimi-
nails.
When we strive to do the best we
can, we are sure to find that our best
is beyond anything we had dared to
hope for.
-Ihe reasons why some men are
such invetcrate wind-b bags would seem
to be because their wives blow them
up every day.
Every man is the architect OF his
own fortdne. And its lucky for the
most of us that there is no building
Inspector around.
The man who is drawn into q
scheme to invest l cent and draw out
Sl may not be a fool, but he is in no
danger from brain fever.
In Paris there is q skating rink
formed of real ice on circular basin
of water artiticially cooled by pipes
containing ammonia gas.
1t has been said that it costs moth
ing to say good word for another bu
when one must lie to do it tho word
seems rather expensive.
-Fogg is mean enough to say that,
generally speaking, the women who
remain single " from choice" are not
particularly choice lot.
When you have cold you do not
know how to cure it. All your friends
know how and they tell you; but that
does not affect the cold.
When woman gets angry you
can generally depend on her saying
~ N II YINyy IN hat hn hi,,1r
what she thinks just then.
-"One swallow does not make
summer" but it may have occurred
to you that one grasshopper makes
more than dozen springs.
The war and navy departments
are cndavoring to arrange for the use
OF smokeless powder, such as has been
adopted by France and Germany.
A machine that cuts match sticks
makes 100000 600 day. They are ar
ranged over vat, and have the heads
put on at the rate OF 5000, 900 per day
by one man.
=" Come in and get your soul saved
while you wait, is the notice that O.
Glasgow man relates he saw at Il Sal
walton Army meeting during his re-
cent stay in Chicago.
"A Clergyman says it is not wrong
to dance If you dance properly. Judg-
ing from his subsequent remarks, the
way to dance properly is TO sit in the
corner and twirl your fingers.
Many times VIC are under the
divine influence when we are not con-
scious of it. No man speaks good
word or performs good deed without
being influenced by the spirit.
=" Madam" shouted the attorney,
:" do you know what the punishment
will be il you do not tell the truth as
you have sworn to do 2" "Certainly
[ DOL will'bc ccrosscdqucstioned again"
=" Seventy bcrths in the ladies'
cabin !" exclaimed Fogg after hearing
a description OF the new steamer.
Great Scott ! but there must have
been terrible squat about that timel"
"A Maine pastor offers his parish
three alternatives He will take what
he can get in the contri button box and
run things as he pieases; or they NAV
pay him fixed salary and run things
as they please or, thirdly, he will re-
sign. What could be fairer than this
good brothers offer.
.--zD. - Asu---
LENGTH OF 4 HORSEN'G IIEhn II ;a