Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-10-29

to die" asked Mrs. barley. fondly. Il
don't Know" replied barley, thought
fully; (which is your choice. burial or
cremation?'-Judgc. .t.,Yr,S a.
II really think that the hike, asthe
cause of MacNab marrying Miss
Smithers." That's odd" Not at all.
You see, they were,thrown SO much,in
each others societyf'-Judge. ~ ary
His Way of Putting II. Els there
one fountain pen better than arothery
"yyell, no; should say, however, that
there are n good many fountain pens
worse than others. 'n-Chlcago Record.
lie pinned upon his oyercoat-
That sneering Johnny Power
A big chrysanthemum and said:
That's what cauihower."
Chicago Tribune.
IT wonder if that diamond Nudge
has Is of the first waterT Il doubt II.
1t has been soaked SO many times that
II must be of the tenth or eleventh
water by this time."--Indianapoiis
Journal.
"See here, waiter! Those eggs are
not cooked properly" IL know 1t, sir;
but you said they were for your wire,
and / knew If the lady was your wife
she couldn't be very particular."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
"All ask" said the man with the
business CLINT in his eye, f" is that they
will give me plenty Of rope" Then IL
was that they recognized him as .
manufacturer Of campaign cigars
indianapolis Journal.
sSee how clean Of snow Browns
sidewalk is and look at Jacobson's,
next door" Eyes, but you don't un-
derstand." "WhatY II saw Brown
borrow Jacobson's snow shovel two
hours ago."-Chicago Record.
Mr.. Henpect (anxiously)-Can l
bring proceedings in court, Mr.. Black
stone. to set aside my wife's will?
Lawyer-Why, your wife isn't dead,
man, is she? Mr.. Henpect-No; that's
just the trouble.-Somerville Journal.
Mrs. Snaggs (who was school teach
or before her marriage)-The scientinc
name of the turkey is Meleagris Cal
lopayo. Mr.. Snaggs-We will abbre-
viate that name to Dennis" for the
time being.-Pittsburg Chronicle-Teie-
graph
"Father.r said the small boy, what
makes piano players wear their hair
longYo Don't bother me. Johnny"
But. father, wish to know" oh
It's so the public won't be able to see
how much their heads have swelled."
Washington Star.
Mrs, Lightly-You used to call me
dear" before marriage, you never DO
now. Mr.. Lightly-Before l married
YOU I thought you dear; now / know
YOU are dear, very, very dear. more
dear to my purse than my heart-To
Date.
Youth with inclpient beard)-I want
n bottle Of face lotion. Druggist-Do
Won want something to use after shaw
ing? Youth (confidentially)-No! You
see I'm raising q beard, and want
the face lotion for my fiancee.-Phila-
delphia Record
"What on earth have you been do
Ing. my child?" exclaimed Fannie's
mother as the little girl came into the
room with her hair all awry and her
dress torn in dozen places. "Play-
in shoppin', ma'am!' was the reply
Yonkers Statesman.
II was much Interested" remarked
the young lady cannibal, lin what our
missionary told us to-day about the
burning of the early Christians" "Ah.
yes," rejoined her steady company,
'-they must have had pretty bum cooks
in those days."-Detroit Tribune.
"You are worth your weight in gold
to me, darling! he murmured. "Then
do go home early, George, DEAR" she
replied, YEARLY. 1--WE lost ten pounds
since we became engaged, just sit
ting up with you. We can't afford such
extravaganza" -Harpcr's Bazaar.
Lad of 10-I say, pa, what Is the
meaning of these numbers ut the bot
tom of every picture? Look at this
one: Shakespeare, 1913. Perplexed Fa-
Their (who has never been in q gallery
bcfore)-O!-ah!--I expect that is his
telephone number. = Humoristische
Blaetter.
81 love to hear you talk. my dear"
said Mr.. Bickers to his wife, when she
paused to take breath at the end Of
the second column of curtain-lecture,
"but your volubility Is really a re-
Election on my wisdom" 'fIow SOP"
Because a word to the wise is suffi-
cient."-Judge.
Simpson-Jones has more self-re-
straint than any other man l know.
Thompson-Has he? Simpson-Yes;
he advised me not to buy that stock.
and when he learned, afterward, that
I had dropped five thousand on 1t, he
never made the slightest allusion to
the matter.-Puck.
First Wifc--My mans just gone out
wild as hawk COS lie can't find any
money to spend on beer. Second Wife
Where do you hide 1t? Dc. tell! Mine
knows everywhere bout the house.
can't hide nothin' from him long. First
wife-I always puts 1t In his own coat
pocket, the one as hangs up behind the
door, and he don't never look thsro
FOR money. ALLY Sloper.