The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-23

tf Amt Maria's cousin MISS IT
navy --s.-,rd 10 visit US. She is a gradu-
s-,-, one Of the colleges for women.
10 -re most superior person ever
r4sr life is one continual conde-
She arises above every situa-
-7 is always perfectly composed
81 admits ignorance Of nothing. In fact'
---- seem as if she had imbibed so
-. College. either Of self satisfac-
~ hooks. that she had lost all hu-
after all one must be ignorant
--.-.stbine 10 be in touch with the rest
world. II you offer her new
4-..- she coolIy and calmly freezes you
.r,srtt Won. but after all, from an in
.,...-,.s1 standpoint, what will gain by
'.~. ~ course, one doesn't like to sug-
.bsr a certain amount Of amuse-
80, would Ice the result, for this superior
,roman is above frivolous things.
- - goes out for walk, it is because
.,ioks exercise is good, and not to
, ,,,s at the flowers. see the village or be
.-..-ss-e5 i'm anything ask if she would
,t.. ~ go into the drug shop and have a
.I..s NJ soda water. She gave me a look
~ ei-y. and said, in her most condescend-
,,g manner. Thank you, no; but II II
III Give YOU any pleasure, 1 will wait for
..,, ,rbft4 YOU get it." The very idea of a
fss5 and blood woman waiting while you
drink soda water!
Then if YOU speak about a mans good
Of nice big
ones are good to look at she has no hest
ts-.on in talking about the average lack
of brains In mankind, and citing this spe-
ciaI one as an evidence Of how much bet
ter fl would be if all the utterly unintel-
l-ctual people were gotten rid OF by a
ralnless death. ANY human be1ns must GER
tainlv pray. after a week Of her society,
rbat this may be her own fate. She scorns
all things at the theater except what she
calls really improving works"
A burlesque, a pantomime, ballet, or
ANYTHING at all jolly, is entirely ignored
by this so-called woman, and she lives
her life out with an exaggerated idea OF
her own Importance to the world, and a
presumptuous belief that she is OF real mo-
ment She incites every body TO hate her,
and consequently makes them commit
sins.
IL she is so unbearable as a young girl,
what will she be as a wife? / am con-
WINGED that, unless she gets husband
Who will beat her, she will make him a
pitiable creature. The world will regard
her with complacency at only one time,
and that is when she is the chief person.
age in a quiet way at a funeral. However,
country politeness is like charity, and Aunt
Maria, Nanny, and even l, who have
found their virtues catching. have koo-
tooed to her while she has looked at us
with disdain that has in it little pity.
Mis- Tomlinson is the only person who
has talked to her as she should be spoken
to. She told her she must be mighty sorry
that she was not married, and although
her ladyship announced that she found
sufficient companionship in her books and
needed no one to share her Intellectual
life, Mis- Tomlinson simply laughed and
said, "Oh, pshaw, girls always say that
sort o. thing until they get husbands, p"
And then she continued, You can look at
me in that way, that kind Of condescendin'
way because ! am a widow, but my good
ness! a woman can't help being a widow.
When you get man there amt any insur-
ance company that guarantees his Twin
forever If a woman knew, when she was
at the hymeneal altar, that she was gOin
10 be a widow, she would probably say no,
but once a woman is a widow it's funny
how many chances she gets to get married
again OF course, she understands men,
and every man comes round her, that is
Il she is at all fascinating
Here Mis- Tomlinson, by a perky move
ment and a bland smile, gave us to un-
derstand that her destinations had been
many, and those who pursued her were
countless. Then she continued, "A hus-
oand, my dear girl, is a mighty good
lhlng TO have, You can't pick him out as
you do Christmas card, but he is
M ,.rl,~.
leIt widow, as Providence often ar
ranges it, you kind a feel lonely when you
look at the other pillow at night / al
ways said if one husband was good. two
was better, and that is the reason l got
married the second time, and the second
uIne l was left widow I got married the
Inlrd time, and goodness only knows. now
am a widow again, what 1 may do.
aunt Maria thinks it is dreadful for me
10 talk this way, but 1 have already had
several proposals. A husband is a mighty
liable something. He is like Gro
eiet slippers, or a wadded gown on a
Wlhtry night. He is like all the comfort
ao-e things in life, tea, foot-warmers and
.4eI uo~n quilts. Young women don't
III TiIhK enough of this. That is the trouble.
mere a good bit, you know, in having
youl letters directed so that even the
p ostihan knows you have got husband.
=. nave mad one. Why, had not been a
"IooW the last time two weeks when a
man with eleven children said he felt that
O1IIu De a mother to them I know I
Coulu nave. They needed a mother. and a
[LoItllued course of whippings about az
e Guy as any lot o. young ones 1 know.
Ulu II there's one thing 1 can do it is to
1-esaidse slipper well, but to take charge
49, 49, en- children, goodness gracious! that
"Ouiu nave made all the other men get
I IN thelr graves long before Gabriel
an5 ms norm. Get a husband, my dear.
y W. stop talking in such g foolish wav as
you are doing now"
.3 Inns was the end of Mis- Tomlinson's
r ~1F-ce to the superior young woman. ana
'.S and truly Miss Lingard looked for
80 80 ds II she had heard a little bit of
NJ common sense administered like a
paaseaIo plaster in rather hot weather.
~ 's0naIiy, l agree with Mis- Tomlinson
de- de- husbands are desirable. often won
fi,r lIdl at political conventions the oues-
~ taxing bachelors does not come I'D.
g5o-.i, man over 30 who is unmarried
oy9- -' y De heavily taxed, while every man
~ ~ who is married, should have his
- 80 reduced according to the size of his
SLY The man with twelve children
WbT- nave no taxes to pay.
n the bachelor should have
f5- pdy taxes sufficient not only
i4itQSelf I,