Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-06-25
THE JOKERS BUDGET.
TESTS AND YARNS OF THE FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.

Easily AdIustsd.--The Poetry In Fire..-ons
At a Time---Adamlsss Edsn.-.Not His
FauIt---Evidence 10 Lacking.
EASILY ADJUSTED.
'.Say, loan me $40 for about week"
'.Can't: haven't got but five."
.Tharll do--lend me the five for two
weeks"
The POETRY IN FIRE.
She (sentimentally) What poetry there
Is in firel
He (sadly)-Yes; great deal of my
pretty poetry has gone there.
ONE AT TIME.
Clara-Does your intended know that
you wear false teethp
Ella--I intend breaking it gently TO
him; have already owned to one.
ADAMLEss EDEN.
Little Boy-The preacher says there is
no marryin in heaven.
Little Girl-Of course not There
wouldn't be enough men to go round.
NOT HIS FAULT.
$50 onl" sneered the bat. "You can
do up that hawk any day."
IL know it." murmured the snake,
'but Pm SO hopelessly rattled!'
EVIDENCE Is LACKING
Glrl-Did you enjoy yourself at the
party last night?
Another Girl fancy not. don't
In no ~ haa1 fhia vnnrninn
RECIPROCITY.
Threefer-I hear Smoake proposed to
that pretty widow. Did she agree to give
up her weeds?
Tenstrait-She said she would if
Smoake would give up his.
She-Did you tell Fibs of our engage
ment?
He-Yes.
She -(aggrieved) -Yon promised that
you would say nothing about it.
HE'S perfectly safe with Fibs; no
one ever believes him.
ALLs WELL THAT ENDS WELL
"How is that feud between you and
Jim hSchisci SCeeihS vi 10 ~ % p''eSA
as ever%
mo; the whole thing is happily ended"
81 am glad to hear that"
Eyes; am out on bond, and the
Coroner is sitting on James right now"
TRUE BOSTON BIRD.
II wish merely to remark" said the
parrot that had come in cage all the
way from Boston, ''that my name is not
Polly AMI do not desire cracker. Will
some person kindly bring me plate of
bcans?"
BAD lot.
Irishman (whose mate has just fallen
overheard with the bucket while swab-
! bling the decks)-Paze, Captin, do We
rimimber that Scotchie we TUX aboard the
same tonne as we did me- l name him
wot had the lot O Good Character Papers,
an me that niver had blissid wan?
Captain-Well?
Irishman-Well, he's off wild yer pail!
TO WHAT IT MAY COME.
"Hang her." yelled the crowd.
The very air shuddered with the anger
that ragged in 10000 hearts.
aug uet.
Not only was the impress rank in her
Judgment of balls and strikes, but she
had come upon the grounds wearing hat
that was sweller than any in the grand
stand.
SHE MAY GET THERE YET.
Edwina-How is Mr.. Blushman getting
alongr Has he proposed yet?
Edith-No; but he's improving. The
first night he called he held the album in
his hands all evening, the second night
he had my pug dog in his arms; last light
he held Willie on his lap for an hour.
have hopes.
AT AN OFFICIAL BALL
''Sir, allow me to shake hands with you,
just by way of showing that know some
body here"
with pleasure, sir. as am precisely
in the same boat as yourself"
THE FOUNDER OF THE FAMILY.
Mrs. Fachons- Is your family an old
one. Mr.. Millions?
Cholly Millions-Naw. I'm the first
of me line; me fawthaw's in twade, we
know.
WORSE THAN THE HEAT.
Hoax-Ive got a great scheme for the
warm weather.
Joax-Lets have it.
Hoax-Pm going to keep small boy
near me sharpening slate pencils. 1t al
ways makes my blood run cold.