davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
He Resigned.

In the early days Of Pony, a mining
camp in Montana, the post-office con-
sisted of an old tea box, into which all
the letters were dumped, the citizens
helping themselves. There were only
forty citizens in Pony, and, there being
no money in the office, it was with cor
siderable difficulty that the storekeeper
was persuaded TO accept the postmas-
tership.
One day stranger rode into camp
and called on the postmaster.
Don't you know" he began, sternly,
that it is illegal to allow people to pick
out their own letters like that?"
WAL, stranger" said the postmas-
ter. Il don't know that it is any Of you-
business how this Office is run
But l am United States post-ofice
inspector"
In this case said the postmaster,
I'VE will finish up this post-ofice right
now"
He took the tea box, placed it in the
middle Of the road, and, with a good
rur. kicked it clear across the gulch.
Now then" he resumed, you 60
right back to Washington and tell the
department from me that the accousts
are closed and the postmaster as Pony
has resigned"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
HER CONTRIBUTION ACCEPTED.
Her Brother Paid for 1t at Advertising
ITO BE CONTINUED

Here is the amusing experience of
an amateur literary aspirant which was
told to me a few days ago, says writar
in the New York Commercial Adver-
tiser
\ young woman in New York wrote
one day a short skit intended to be
humorous. 1t aroused favorable COM
ment from her circle Of friends and
che made up her mind that it was good
enough to be published in enc of the
humorous periodicals. Accordingly she
submitted it to first one periodical,
then another. It was brief skit, only
about fifty lines in all, and, as her
brother indulgently said, couldn't pos
sibly have done any HARM But still
the hard-hearted editors failed to see
the humor of it and kept sending it
back to her. Finally the young author
lost heart completely and was about
to bury her poor little skit in the
depths of her portfolio. Then her
brother took pity on her and said:
Here, give me your skit. I'll get
it published or know the reason why"
A week or two later her skit ap-
peared in one of the humorous papers,
and the young contributor enjoyed all
the delights Of first authorship, sending
marked copies of the paper to friends,
ETC., etc. The contribution did not oc-
cupy prominent place. 1t was among
the advertisements, but the author had
seen many comics among the adyer-
tisements and she was too contented
to see her contribution in type to in
quire farther. She never knew what
that twinkle in her brothers eyes
meant and that he had paid full adver-
tising rates to insert her skit in fifty
lines space, single column, one inser-
ton"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
The Game of Ball.

Ball is by no means a modern game,
for it was favorite pastime of the
Egyptians four thousand years ago. Il
was an outdoor sport as at the present
day. and was INDUCED in not only by
men and children but by women as
we'll. Throwing and catching the ball
was regarded as wholly a woman's
game, and one method Of playing was
that the person unsuccessful in catch
ing the ball was obliged to carry the
successful player on her back-the vic
tor continuing in this position Nntil
she also failed to catch the ball The
ball was throw2 by an opposite player
mounted in the same manner and sta
toned at a certain distance. Some
times three or more balls were thsown
in succession. the hands of the player
being crossed upon the breast after
throwing the ball.
Another game, not altogether a Wom-
ans game. was played by throwing the
ball TO a great height, and catching it
like our "sky-ball,' and yet another
was to throw the ball as high Is pos
sible, the opposite player leaping into
the air to catch it on its fall before ais
feet touched the ground. The balls
generally used were made of leather or
skin and sewed with string crosswise
in the same manner as our balls are
made. and stuffed with bran Or husks
of com; others were made of string or
of the stalks of rushes plated together
SO as to form circular mass and COW
cred in the same way with leather
Some balls that have been found al
Thebes are about three inches in di-
ameter. while, others are OF smaller
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
Johnnie'S Excuse.

Not far from Boston a little boy
named Johnnie. who is only nine years
of age, is continually causing amuse-
ment by his quaint and original eX-
cuses whenever he gets into a scrape.
He is never at a loss, and before you
speak almost, he interrupts you with
an excuse that is so funny that You
cannot help laughing and forgiving
him. He has been last down to break
fast several times lately, and he was
told that the next time it occurred he
should go without.
A day or two back he made his ap-
pearance when breakfast was half over.
Now, Johnnie" said his mother,
you know what I told you last time
yeu were late
Yes, mother; but l could not really
and truly be down be down in time this
morning"
We'll, why not?'
''Ycu see, was half asleep and half
awake. and somehow I dreamed that I
WIS at church, and 1 knew you would
not like me to get up during the ser
mon"
Johnnie did not go without his
breakfast that morning.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
Nobility Shown BIZ Bnttons.

Buttons play an important part in
the dress of the Chinese mand2rins
Those of the first and second class
wear a button of coral red, suggested,
perhaps, by q cocks comb, since the
cock is the bird that adOrns their
breast. The third class are gorgeous
with robe on which peacock is en-
blaZoned, while from the centre of the
red fringe OF silk upon the hat rises a
sapphire button. The purple button
of the fourth class is an opaque, dark
purple stone, and the bird depicted on
the robe is the pelican. A silver pleas
ant on the robe and a clear crystal
button on the hat are the rank of the
fifth class. The sixth class are entitled
to wear an embroidered stork and u
jadestone button; the seventh par
fridge and an embossed gold button.
In the eighth the partridge is reduced
to quail and the gold button becomes
plain, while the ninth class mandarin
has to be content with a common spar
row for his emblem, and with silver for
his button.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
o.. =, cro..m,tb.. Jokes.

Mr.. George Grossmith occasionally
permits himself some reiaXatlons from
his labors in amusing the pubic. Inc
ether evening, at big 'at nome ne
got behind the supper table IN line
with the walters and tried to look as
like one as possible. Presently there
approached him military looking old
gentleman. Taking up n wine glass
he extended it to the supposed waiter
saying, "Will you please give me
glass of champagne"
NO Sir" said Grossmith, assuming
IN air of righteous indignation. - GER
tainly will not. You have had more
than is good for you" The guest
stared in amazement, put down the
empty glass and walked off.-Weekly
Telegraph.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
SalOrOus.

When I was on the Zulu frontier (said
a traveller recently | stopped for q
week with native, a splendid fellow,
who had a fine farm. Among other
animals, he had a young bull called
Hulo, which he and his children fondly
believed could vanquish any beast or
earth. Hulo was a great pet, and not
in the least vicious, so l was surprised
on the second evening of my stay, to
see Hulo shifting the air and paving
the ground in evident rage. | was
about to ask what it meant when out
Ny host and 1 hurried for our guns,
and Hulo dashed at the beast with
dauntless courage. A rush. a crash,
and the bull was hurled twenty feet.
Fortunately, the horn of his enemy had
not caught him, and the first rush had
taught him a lesson. His horns were
like sharp swords, but the hide of a
rhinocerOs is remarkably thick, and the
young bull soon showed signs Of ia
tigue. So he resorted to strategy, and
lodged behind his clumsy foe, giving
him vicious stabs in the thighs. This
was rapidly weakening the rhinocerOs.
and ttlst at this time We found some
steel bullets Qeaden bullets having no
effect on this animaD, and quickly
completed the work HUlo had begun.
Then the bull stood on the carcass and
beloved his joy.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20

would fare by and by, when the wound
had become scar, she thought of least
Of all.
1t was a handsome carriage In
which she rode at the masters right
hand. A pair of fine horses pranced
before it, and liveried coachman sat
on the box. She had sometimes enyied
other women the possession Of like
state. She ought to derive delight
from these outward symbols of her Gle
walton in the world. 1t was an impos-
ing mansion, too, before which the
equipage presently paused, and tall
footman opened the front door and ran
briskly down to the sidewalk to assist
the travellers in alighting. None of
her associates, married or single, lived
Of exultation, as she stepped out, be-
tween her husband and his lackey.
Mr.. Withers' address dampened the
rising glow.
This is our home, my dear. You will
find no cause of discomfort with it, l
hope" he said, in benign patronage,
handing her up the noble flight of stone
steps
THANK you," she replied, coldly "It
is part of the price for which l sold
myself" she was meditating. Il must
not quarrel with my bargain"
Miss Field met them in the hall-a
wasp-like figure, surmounted by
small head. Her neck was bare and
crane-like; her face very oval, her
skin Opaque and chally; her hair black
and shining, the front in long ringlets;
her eyes jet beads, that rolled and twin
kled incessantly.
MY dear cousinw she cried, effusive-
ly embracing her patrons hand and
winking back an ofIicious tear 'It is
like sunshine to have you home again.
How are you?"
"Well-thank you, Harriet; or,
should say, in tolerable health" re-
turned Mr.. Withers, magnificently con-
descending. "Allow me to introduce my
wife, Mrs. Withersr'
Miss Field swept fourishing cour-
tesy. Constance, as the truer lady of
the two, offered her hand 1t was
grasped very slightly, and instantly re-
| linquished
Charmed to have the honor, 1 am
| surer' murmured Miss Field. Il trust
1 see Mrs. Withers quite well? But
you, cousin-did | understand you to
intimate that you were indisposed? p"
with strained solicitude.
"a trifing attack of Indigestion, not
worth mentioning to any ears except
ing yours, my good nurse"
Miss Field smiled indulgence in this
concession to her anxiety, and Con-
| stance, who now heard of the "indis-
position" for the first time, looked
from one to the other in surprised si-
| lence.
Perhaps Mrs. Withers would like to
go directly to her apartments?" pur-
sued Harriet, primly, with another
courtesy.
by all Means Mr.. Withers replied
for her. LAS it is. l fear your dinner
will have to wait for her, if. as I pre-
sumo is the case, you are punctual as is
your CUSTOM"
Gould [ fail in promptitude upon
this day of all others?" queried Har-
riet, sentimentally arch, and preceded
the bride upstairs.
| ITO BE coNTINUEp.r
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
lighting a Fire with Ice,

If anyone was to tell you that you
could light fire with a piece of ice
you'd be very likely to shake your head.
But it can be done, and if you have
liking for surprising your friends you
can try it-after a little private prac-
tice behind the barn. Take piece of
clear ice about an inch thick from the
water cooler, whittle it into the shape
of a disk and with the palms Of your
hands melt it's two sides convex, thus
giving the form of a double convex
lens, or burning glass. This you should
do with considerable accuracy, and you
may have to practice some time before
you can accomplish it. When your ice
lens is complete hold it where the suns
rays will fall on it and focus them SO
that they will be directed on a piece Of
light paper or tinder A blaze will
burst up at once. The experiment
works we'll only when the sun is very
bright.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
A Hadsome Monument.

A Budapest correspondent OF the
Philadelphia Ledger says: The mon
ument to Empress Maria Theresa
which is being erected at the ancient
coronation city of Presburg, on the
Danube, will be one of the handsomest
raised to commemorate the millennium.
The elaborate work it has engen-
6ered is approaching completion, but
the executive committee fear that the
date fixed for unveiling will have TO
be postponed until the spring of next
year.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
3 Large Family.

Patsy Dooly was q very poor arith-
metician. and was puzzled by a great
many questions OF numbers which did
not enter other peoples heads. One
day a new acquaintance remarked in
his presence:
Il have eight brothers"
Eye have eight brothers?" said Pat
sy. Then l suppose every wan o. tnim
his eight brothers, too?''
Certainly"
'Arrah, thin" said Patsy, Glow
many mothers had the sixty-four O
ye?"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20

size, made OF the same materials and
covered, like many used at the present
day, with strips Of leather cut In rhom-
boidal shape and sewed together
lengthwise and meeting in a common
point at both ends, each alternate slip
of leather being of different color.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
abou. Coughs, Colds and La Grippe.

Mrs Hannah Shepard, 304 North 10th ST.,
Omaha, Neb. writes: about four years
ago was taken with La Grippe, and after
recovering | had very lad cough. |
coughed almost continually ever since.
tried several doctors and various cough
medicines, but could not get any relief.
Your DR. Kay's Lung Balm wasrecommend-
cd to me, and after taking one package the
cough left me entirely and lconsider myseiI
entirely cured. | cheerfully recommend
vour Dr. Kay's Lung Balm to all who are
in the very bad condition that i was"
see advertisement
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
In Merry England.

indianapolis journal: why" asked
the visiting American, ''why do you
fellows always turn to the left on the
road?"
because, said the resident English
man, sit is right"
Eight days afterward the true-born
Briton suddenly scandalized the con-
gregation by laughing aloud in the
midst of services. 1t had dawned on
him that he had made pun.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
On Growing Old.

They say l am growing old because
my hair is silvered, and there arc
crows feet on my forehead, and my
step is not SO firm and elastic as before
But they are mistaken. That is not
me. The knees are weak, but the
knees are not me. The brow is wrinkled,
but the brow is not me. This is the
house l live in. But l am young
Younger than | ever was before
Guthrie.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
Font Tobacco suit and Smoke Your Lie away.

If you want to quit tobacco using easily
and forever, regain lost manhood, be MADE
well, strong magnetic, Iull of now life and
vigor, take No-To-Bac, the wonder worker
that makes weak men strong Many gain
ten pounds in ten days. Over 100000 cured:
Buy No-To-Ba from your druggist, who VIII
guarantee ncure. Booklet and sample mailed
Tree Address Sterling Remedy Co, Chi
ca9o or New York.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
Say This Quickly.
ye?!''

Naval expressions are generally
noted for their peculiar aptness and
brevity. There is. however, one Eauti-
cal term which for length almost rivals
tie longest Greek expression.
1t is the ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
studding- -sail-hoom -topping-lift-jigger-
fall"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
Before and After.

DO you really think he knows very
much?"
My dear, sir; lie knows as much as
the average politician thinks he
knows
''As much as he thinks he knows
besore or after the nomination."
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
Merchants Hotel, Omaha.

CORNRR FIFTEENTH AND FARNAM SITS.
Street ears pass the door to and from
both depots; in business center of city
Headquarters for state and local trade.
Rates 81 and 81 per day.
PAXTON & DAVENPORT, Props
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
CHAPTER III.

ALF past five! l
wrote to Harriet to
have dinner ready
at six. We shall be
just in time," said
!, Mr.. Withers, as he
took his seat in the
carriage that was
to convey him with
his bride from the
depot to their
home.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
4 moving Nlofinn.

"Girls of the jury" exclaimed the
counseless for the defense, "we are
guilty of numbering our husband and
four children, but we plead extenua-
tion. We look perfectly lovely in
black"
1t was evident that the twelve good
women and true were profoundly
moved Detroit Tribune
TO CURE 4 COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All
Druggists refund the money if il fails cure. &c
Longfellows literary life covered period
of forty years.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
The Finishing Touches.

Husband Ito wife in full evening
dress)-"My stars! Is that all you are
going to wear?''
Wife (calmly}-"All, except the flow
ers. Which of these clusters would
you select?"
Husband resignedly)-"The big
gest.''
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20

The man who don't forget ennythins
isn't a going to learn mutch more.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20
CHILDREN'S CORNER.
TIMELY TOPICS FOR OUR BOYS
AND GIRLS.
Fighting % Fire with Ice-How to Make
Big Soap Bubbles-The Game of Ball
Is Not a New One-Johnnie's Excuse
How Nobility Is Illustrated.

81 CHESTNUT burr,
81 :: :. ). !: !: ! !: ): : :: :: ::
WWN with fur,
WM Upon the parent
f O. ~HASA tree,
Ns2{z/ASn4l IS One autumn day
HAE~yzNEE9 was heard to
M SMXAXNgM say,
0A/gy2NsJWNJ To Mr.. Bumble-
VIZ Kill INA bee:
W1NAJHd dk1 "How sad am. l,
SSNg~ who cannot fly
Or run or leap or
hep
Like beast or bee, but on this tree
Am always doomed to stop.
"The birds and bees float on the trees,
The rabbits leap and run.
The nimble squirrels and boys and
girls
Indulge in active fun.
But day and night I'm stuck here tight,
And tho l long to roam,
AS you'll perceive, | ne'er can leave
My leafy tree-twig home"
A fairy small who'd CHANGED to call,
O'erheard this fretful talk;
She shook her head and gently said:
Your wish to fly or walk
I'll grant You. Which will | do?
Just name it and it's done"
Then cried the burr: I'D much prefer
To be beast and run"
A gentle wave the fairy gave,
Of jeweled wand so small,
When with bound unto the ground
The burr was seen to fall.
Lo! there appears eyes, mouth and ears,
Four legs, tail, some feet,
(Strange, you'll agree) and then we see
A porcupine, complete.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1896-11-20

When bilious or costive, eat cascaret
candy cathartic, cure guaranteed. 10c,
csc.
Arizona republican., 1896-11-25
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS.

Reported for The Arizona Republi- can by Coggins & Brown. abstractors. POI West Washington street. Phoenix:
 Andrew Crawford and wife to Chas. M. Light, warranty deed to nwA nwA, sec IT, tp 2sn, r e, and water, $2,100.
 Chas. M Light and wife to Sarah A. Girard, warranty deed to e1a, nwA nwA, sec 17, tp 2 n, r 2 e, and water, $1,000
 United States to Robert Whiteside, patent to se14, sec 26, tp n, r 1 e.
 J. l.. B. Alexander and c. B. Ming and wives to Frances Ann A. Johnson warranty deed to lots 37 and 38, in sub. block 30, Neahrs' addition, $7OO
 Sarah M. Pomeroy to Columbus Steward, warranty deed to sw1A, sell swA, sec 34, tp n, r e, $2O0.
 T. P. Banta and wife to Columbus Steward, warranty deed to n1a, seA swA, sec 34, tp n, e, S100.
Arizona republican., 1896-11-25
BET ON BRYAN.
W. A. Clark Could Find No Takers for
 $1000O0.

W. A. Clark, the owner of the United Verde mine at Jerome, and who di- vides with Marcus Daily the political ownership of Montana, left Denver the other day for Jerome.
 Mr. Clark is a small, nervous man, with short beard of deep auburn hue Like many millionaires he would scarcely be taken at a glance for a political leader and the principal own CT of a mountain of copper and other riches as great. He has for years waged a persistent conflict with Mar GUS Daily for the political supremacy and the wealth of Montana. It is likely that this fight will be transferred tc Arizona, where both have cast theil eyes upon gold and copper mines O. immense value. Two months ago MT Clark bought for $200,0 mine neal Jerome that promises to become ont of the most noted gold shippers il America. The election of McKinle! has been of great benefit to the own CTS of copper mines, for thei price O copper has gone up. Though this re suit was expected, MT. Clark worked for the election of Bryan He offered to bet $100,000 that Bryan would b, elected, but he found no takers.
Arizona republican., 1896-11-25

pc and Mesa on business connected with his large lumber interests.
 Among those who visited the orange groves lately are Dr. and Mrs. s. c. Heineman, MT. Irish and Miss Gris- wold
 Jerry w. Sullivan of Seligman, the rustling beef exporter, is again here to make a draft on the alfalfa pas lures.
 A. P. Snowman, the well l-known at torney and one of the editors of the Mesa Free Press, was in the city yes terday.
 J. c. Goodwin, assemblyman-elect, will leave tomorrow on business trip to Tonto Basin, and from there he will go to Globe
 Right Rev. J. M Kendrick, D. D., was honored by the Daughters of the King with a public reception on Tuesday at Ell Paso.
 George A. Mintz, of The Herald, and Editor w. s. Adams of the Jerome Mining News, made flying trip to Tempe last evening. 1 Fred Schofeld, who has been absent all summer, returned yesterday. Fred l is a member of the local gun club; also considerable of a horseman.
 Malcolm McLeish and wife of Vul- ture are visitors to Phoenix. MT. Mc- Leish's cyanide plant is actively en- gagged on the Hassayampa river.
 Mrs. Amanda Pritchard, of Mesa, the very successful horticulturist on the south side of the river, returned from Des Moines, Iowa, where she has spent the summer.
 B. F. Myer of Fl Paso, Tex; T. R. Anderson, New Orleans; Edward Gold man, San Francisco, and Mrs. c. A. Goldammer are registered at the Com mercial hotel.
 John H. Hise of Los Angeles re- turned yesterday after an absence oi several days. He is interested in mining property on the upper Salt !, rivrr with Jim Barr.
 Florence J. O'Brien, who at one time was connected with the business de. partment of The Republican, is now occupying similar position on the Sacramento Record Union. His friend. here are pleased to learn that he i: doing well. w. s. Adams, editor of the Jerome , Mining News, which is ably filling { long-felt want in that prosperous community, arrived in Phoenix yes terday. MT. Adams wants to serv' the territory as chief clerk of the in coming assembly, and his candidac. seems to be meeting with hearty ant f general indOrsement