davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning times., 1896-04-26

face. Don't try to fool me, ReXie, you
know I'm going 10 die, and SO do 1.
don't want to get well. 1t isn't worth
while. 1t is Just continual fight against
fate, and I'm beaten. I'm too tired to
try 1T again. For Heavens sake, Sis,
don't talk like that 1 cried. i could
choke that cruel heartless girl! 1t is all
her doing, hang herr Don't get angry,
Reggie, and don't be hard on poor Ethel;
she has always been accustomed to lux
ury, and ] shouldn't have expected her to
marry me. can't hold out much longer,
and / want you to promise me something
Promise me when / die that you will
bury me apart from the rest, alone, as
have been all my life. Don't put any
thing On the stone but my name and age,
and that verse about the stars fighting
against me; you know it, Rex. Put that
on. Promise, promise mer
Yes, I promise, Sis I answered.
Who can avoid the chance that fate de.
crees? I've done the best l could, old
man. Perhaps 1 could have done better,
but I'm too tired to try it again. Who
knows but If to die is not to Hive, and
living but to die? / shall know bye and
bye So with the words of the pagan
philosopher upon his lips, S1sera Proctor
died.
1T seems to me that Thaekeray had him
i'll mind when he wrote: There is GER.
tain sort of man whose doom in this world
is disappointment, who excels in 1t, and
whose luckless triumphs in his meek career
of life, have often thought, must be
regarded by the kind eyes above with az
much favor d. splendid successes end
The morning times., 1896-04-26

with his great-uncle, hard, mserly old
he ate, not to men ton the clothes he wore.
Ole Edgerly was as rich as he was stingy-
Sisera was sent to the same school with
me, and in spite of the difference in
our positions, we became fast friends.
/ liked him from the first. He had
the sweetest disposition of any per-
son l ever knew, and be had kind,
generous heart. 1t was always a source
OF wonder to ME to see with what calui-
ness he accepted his dreary lot. / never
heard him utter one word of complaint
or blame. What's the use Of fighting
against fate, Rex?' he would say. All
his family were firm believers in the doc
trine Of Generalization. / suppose it was
heredity. He never confessed 10 under
stand why things should be as they were
he simply accepted them as inevitable
When We grew up, l was sent North to
college, but I used to bear from Proctor
occasionally. After graduating, / went
to Germany, Where ! spent year, and
then returned home. j found old Edgerly
dead. and Sisera was his beir.
He was practicing law in Chattanooga
and was making name as one Of the
most brilliant young men at the county
bar. He was glad to see ME back He
was engaged to lovely girl. the daughter
of Gen. Hastings, to whose hand he aspired
before his uncle's death, but was refused
1t never entered Sfsera' 9 unsuspecting mind
that the fact OF his having been left a
fortune had altered the conduct of the
fair Miss Hastings toward bim. At last
The morning times., 1896-04-26

Two OF the others were escorted to the
dock.
What is the offense?''
We'll these [ wo hoboS, your honor. said
the prosecuting policeman. had their heads
under the spout OF the fountain in Franklin
Park
light said the Judge, with perceptibIe
r. And on such a desperately cold
evening. Have you anything to say?" con-
tinued the judge, addressing the nearest
hobo.
Judge. your honor, was only trying
to cool my head, and"
Sixty days. That will do. What have
you to Say?' said his honor, looking frigidly
at tie other victim:
Judge, your HONOR was only washing
my head"
-'Discha rged Cleanliness is next 10
godliness. and godliness has got sixty days
days on the farm"
MIR. Prosecuting Attorney. notice that
all of these prisoners are up for offenSes
growing out OF the belief that yesterday
was an intensely hot day. There must be
some hallucination at the bottom or it."
Yes. your honor; believe that nearly
hundred victims of that theory have been
sent here this morning on similar charges.
There is scarcely any use proceeding with
further testimony, as TO their mental con-
dition. l have heard that others have
they have not made themselves so obnox-
ious to the police, as those who have been
arrested.
The facts of the weather ire ali against
them. and conviction is a foregone con-
cluSion. 1t is only question as 10 whether
in view of first offense the cases should be
mol pressed, or sent down en- maSse, as il
were"
MORE SERIOUS oFFENSES.
.'Are there any cases that ought to be
sent to the grand jury"
There is case, your honor, where a
| woman took her husband convaleScing
| from pneumonia out for a ride yesterday
afternoon
WAS the mans life insured?''
Yes, your honor
And the woman Is now widow?''
Yes. your honor
Hold her for the grand Jury; no bail.
! To cut this matter short. il there are any
cases in which children with measles,
rash, erysipelas, whooping cough, roseola,
pimples. or any other afflictions were out
in the blizzard let the nurses or other pro-
prietory interests be indicted. The court
The morning times., 1896-04-26

forever. 1t, too, had, however, undergone
a flattening process, and fitted him as
quick in the pulmonary regions as ball
dress of the Empire. The collar was at
tached only by one end in front, and hung
down over his left shoulder, in it being the
remains of a satin necktie, both now in
extricably mingled together as mass or
min and starch His face was red, bis
nose was red, his eyes were red from lack
of sleep, his manly bosom was full or
pimples, and his handkerchief was full of
the ichor of Indignation and mentala ctiyity.
This man was a martyr 10 "Convic-
ton, - which was near at hand. The sug-
gestion Of his presence was: why am
here?" He gave one the impression that
he believed himself the victim of popular
conspiracy.
Tie judicial eye scanned the prisoner
with gaze OF comniseration. He had
sized him up as a man who needed holsting
back on his base with derrick.
What is the charge against the de-
fendant,' inquired the judge, while his
words took distinct shape in the atmos-
phere in curls of weli-mixed and rejected
oxygen and nitrogen. Who knows any
thing about this case?"
Il do returned Policeman Giovanni Bap-
| tisto Caramba, who has recently been put
on what Policeman Connaughty calls 1.-THE
| foorce.' G. B Caramba was one OF the
Italian colony at Brookland, who, as work
| is slack out there, got a place through Police
| Commissioner Truesdeli. There We're Others
| also of the same class on the force, which
| necessitated the creation of a new clerk in
| the police department, the clerk OF inter-
| probation. Such an officer has, however,
| been a long felt want. both at the race track
| the baseball park and the police court, but
| that is only by the way.
HIS HALLUCNATION.
| 'sStep back said the judge to the
Italian bluecoat who had learned the vogue
| ofar as toendeayorto whisper histestimony
first to the judge. The policeman straight
ened himself up as IL to say there could
| be no Justice done with absolute confidence
and rapport bet ween the judge and the
police officer, and it was al this point that
The interpreter said He said, I do, your
| honor
Tie Interpreter was born and raised iu the
The morning times., 1896-04-26
SISERA.

WAS during visit was paving INV
old friend and college chuIn, DR.. Regi-
nald stonestreet, at his home near Chat
II tanooga, Tenn, that first heard the
story OF Sisera Proctor, and it made
such an impression on me at the time that
i have never forgotten it. one afternoon
stonestreet and visited the village ceme-
oery,Nand with strangers curiosity read
The names and inscriptions on the stones,
and commented on them. MY medical
friend answered my numerous questions and
gave brief histories Of the dead III his la comic
style. Away from all the other graves.
In lonely corner, we came upon a stone
half hidden in the shadow OF a dark cypress
tree.
"Hallor' and gave whistle, .'look here,
will you, Rex? What was the particular
eff1iction OF this poor fellow?"
pointed to the words on the headstone,
which read;
''sisera Proctor, aged 20 years. And
the stars in their course fought against
SiseraI 20 he died."
4 shadow passed over Reginald Stone
streets face, and he turned on me sharply.
"iiert, will you never learn that there is q
time to be serious es well as a time to jest?,
'Dh, didn't mean any offense." has
tened to reply. "I was thoughtless. But
81 was the oddity OF the thing, name and
all. that struck me. you know"
That's just it exactly" returned Stone
etreet, striking with his cane at an un-
attending dazy. "Contound the name, I
The morning times., 1896-04-26

think that it would have been a more
Christian sentiment to have said TO this
officer. DIR. NanSen, ] am korry that your
laborious labors keep you in this frozen al
ley, when all the world, like myself. is
out on skates?' There is such q thing as
cruelty 10 dumb animals in this terrific
weather when the Associated Charities Is
out OF funds. and the lead pipes of char
ity herself have burst"
The prisoner looked curiously at Judge
Kimball and then around at Clerk Wash
burn. as much as 10 say Have YOU got
about you such thing as a blank de
lunatico inquirendo?" He looked at the
judge again critically and said:
May | ask the court some questions"
Certainly. Make them brief and to
the point"
Judge said the defendant, halfway
closing his eyes, do you believe 1 am
Miss sibyl Wilbur in disguise?"
Judge Kimball started, but quietly in
dicated To the court chemist to hand him
the microscope.
Judge do / look like frozen peach ice
cream with frosted maroons on the side?"
You do not" said the judge. En-
phatically YOU do not, simiha smilibus,
non similibantur, ct St. Elizabeth's pro
bono publico, or the farm. Have you any
other defense than conundrums for the
court?'
THEN HE WAS SENTENCED.
Judge, / have to say that I asked
this policeman the current question slightly
varied as / passed him yesterday after
noon. He was bathed in sweat from head
to foot"
Where were you going?'
Il was going up to get an iced Turkish
bath"
What were you going to do with it?''
rs win in IT..
Don't you know that you can't get
into everything but boiling water in this
weather with anything but pick ak?
Bailff, remove the prisoner. The prosecut-
ing attorney will see that this man be ex-
amined by competent surgeons as to his
mental condition. It is evident that he
believes that he is in hell aud is pc r.
spring to deceive the court nd the Medical
Society.
"A man who can voluntarily in open
court sweat three half pints of liquid
dupliclty with the thermometer at 20, as
it has been all this April is dangerous
criminal. Next!
The next prisoner is two" explained
Red Murphy Of the Sixth.
The morning times., 1896-04-26
SUNSHINE OF LONG AGO.
Light Is Meyer Lost, Though Ages
May Have Passed.
pbiL1deEnbSc Tff,,,as

Ages and ages ago, when the earth was
young aud man had not yet begun to live
on 1t, because as yet the conditions were
notfavorable to the life that mankind needs,
monster fishes swan in the shiny sc as and
giant animals statked over and through
grasses taller than We ever 50 W and plants
the marshy lands. Monster trees grew
from the sloppy, moist ground, while
with huge stems and gigantic leave grew
beneath their branches.
Then, as now, rain fell, clouds fioated by
and the bright sunshine was over all. The
brighter the sunshine the ranker and taller
grew the trees, the grasses, the ferns aud
the weeds. Year after year they grew and
blossomed and died, over aud over gain,
just as plants aud trees do now. Again and
again, ia those ages. great earthquake oc-
CURED, and the waters would reA IN places
where they were not before. and where they
were once would be bare ground. The giant
trees and the plants be meath them would be
The morning times., 1896-04-26
Thetwo appearedin the dock, or We ry uear

Thetwo appearedin the dock, or We ry uear
it.
What's the charger
Sleeping 10 the iish pond in the White
Lott
Thirty days. Nextr'
What has this woman doue?"
I'VE found her scorching on Massa chusetts
avenue last night inside boomers. SAID
she was gittin' up breeze"
Sixty days. Next
Whats the charge?'
Il arrested this man, your honor, at the
Sixth street station. He is charged with
trying to steal a ride to Alexandria.
He said he wanted to cool off on the herring
wharf,
Have him examined by the surgeons.
This man is undoubtedly crazy. Next.
What's the charge"
Il rolicd this nurse into the Ninth pre-
cinct yesterday evening at Z O'Clock.
She was rolling baby carriage over the
snow near ST. Paul's Church"
Baby in the carriage?'
''Yes, your honor
Baby dead?"
No. your honor, but this collateral
is the court"
send the nurse down to the farm, and
let her plant pingrees for two months.
Shut the door, shouted the judge. do
you people suppose we are trying to run
IoOl SdI'Sb III COHJuuCliOA Will
this al fresco circus of cranks. Next"
What's the charger
THEN THE SODA SQUIRTER.
II run this drug clerk in, your honor,
at the forinstance OF this young lady.
She aXed him for hot soda yesterday and
he axed her if she'd have the ice sent home !"
Nv hats the specific charge"
''Inperence, Your honor
Take his personals said his honor,
sternly; and as the police court reporter
would say, the young and Junoesque lady
breatbed visibly as she fastened the fangs
OF her feather boa constructor around her
Annie Laurie throat, adjusted her seal
skin sacque around her fragile figure, pulled
down the sashes of her black net veil,
leaned heavily on the right arm OF her
attorney, and left the room with distinct
odor Of violets as a legacy, and the family
audible sizz OF carbolic acid ON tap.
There was pause in the procee edings here.
The judge was apparently indulging in
introspection.
There are others. your honor inter-
rupted the prosecuting attorney. There
are, in fact, more than fifty Others"
The morning times., 1896-04-26

packed and buried 10 the mud and would Sc
the sunshine no more. over and over again
trees aud grasses. plants and ferns, grew IN
the sunshine; over and over again they were
buried and packed down in the arkness,
ever undergoing chemical changes.
A ges came and went, and finally man. the
crowning work of the Creator. appeared
upon the scene. Centuries came and went
before he discovered the buried sunshine.
Many are the legends as to how and when
he first learned of the warmth imprisoned
In the black mineral that. now and then,
was found above the ground. As every good
deed sooner or later leaves It's good record
on the annals OF time, so the short lives Of
the tiniest ferns of a gesago are now ma king
light and happiness in many home that
would be dark, cold and gloomy had not the
Creator IN his wisdom. ages aud ages ago,
buried the sunshine in earth's dark bosom.
to lie untn such time as he was ready to
bring it again to the light OF day.
The morning times., 1896-04-26

rises. and the cases will be continued tin
tomorrow"
1t viii be observed that Judge KimbaH
had the first opportunity OF dealing With
a disease which broke out in this city
during the middle of this month. There
was haIlucinatiOn. sporadic, it is true.
that the weather was superlativeIy hot,
that the record had been broken. and that
humanity was suffering intensely
The truth was, however. that the people
OF Washington never enjoyed a more
auspiciouS season for indoor and outdoor
sports. The bosom OF the grand old PO-
tomac was frozen over and under 10
considerable depth, and there was car
nival of skating and sIeighiDg and coast
ing, such as was never known in the
month OF April. One of the iRcOntestabIs
evidences OF that fact is the sketch on this
page, in which the people were caught In
the act OF racing against time on the ice
on the very day that reports were sent out
that the hot wave had fallen in blisterIng
showers over the District
UNDER HYPNOTIC SPELL.
This belief unsettled the minds Of people
who went about the streets ASKING each
other about about their relative tempera-
ture, and making stateennts about it so
exaggerated that man without higher
temperature was not in the meteorological
swim They became nuisances to the police,
and hence the summary mode in which
these people were disposed of by the court.
The philosophy or these experiences is
thatif people can so arrange their domestic
and physical economy. or so educate them
selves this summer as to believe and feel
they ire as cool as they believed they were
hot in the recent April blizzard, the great
robiem of the future Will be solved
THIS is Just the season in which to reor-
ganize the physical frame so that in the
bulldog days OF the fiery June. me1 and
women and children may be abroad in
the sun as independently Is the iCebergs OF
the Arctic seas.
1t is all an illusion. anyway, this heat
and cold Men never know what heat is
| until some of them die. and it will possibly
not be until next August before the rest
of them appreciate the exquisite sensa-
tiols OF the present month. with all its
broken and shattered record The court
| is right When the brain can wear skates
in summer and go scorching on its own
wheels in winter the door of the New
Jerusalem will open and close itself auto
matically for visitors from this neighbor-
hood.
The morning times., 1896-04-26
washington Bowery, and can speak as many

washington Bowery, and can speak as many
dialects as could Cardinal Mezzofante
The ItaIiano policiano then made state
mcnt in the tongue of Amcrigo Nespucci'
looking occasional stilettos and req pepper
at the prisoner. who stood aghasu and
hathed in pe aspiration, which he from
time to time added to the freshet in his
bandaDa.
Well said the judge, some " nat llnpa-
tiently .w hat has the officer testified?
.Yuronner'' proceeded the Interpreter,
.'he sez. Sezee, that lin the first place ne
was standing in with an alley way out or
the blizzard yesterday afternoon, on flrst
street, when man come along ana sezee:
Onion, is it hot enough for YOU I'd like
to saw. yuronner, that this S all the English
this officer has heard since he come oD the
foorce Then a nagur came along and
seZee: 'Maccaroni not enough to scurch
de monk amt it?' YurOnner, tue officer
SAYS that the procession was about mile
long and took about two hours to pass
the mouth of the alley, and that every man
and boy black and white, asked him If it
was hot enough for him, or how he stood
it. or why he didn't sit down, Or if it
wouldn't be cooler out at BrooklaDd.
'Well VI ronner, he seZ, sezee, he
stood this for three mortal hours, until at
last the prisoner in tie dock came along
uudressed. just as he is at present, and said:
King Humbert, hear you have got an etec
trio fan in your helmet, nd just here, yur-
onner the prisoner slipped on the ice and
feil.''
EJECT OF THE WEATHER.
whats that?" inquired the prisoner,
| cooking up his ears.
.silence!" yelled the bailiff. Don't in
| terrogate the interpreter"
The prisoner applied the bandana bella
dona plaster to his brow once more. aud 1T
> was evident from the diagrams of his mouth
| that he had said to himself, well, III be
| good and DID,
! Are there any other witnesses?'
Oh. yes; there were plenty of them
A dozen Of gripmen aud conductors of the
yellow line were on hand. The snow had
blocked the line on First street near the
Avenue, and they had nothing to do but
| to see the arrest. They all swore to the
| facts They heard the Language" Used
| by the prisoner and believed the provoca-
! ton for an arrest sufficient.
The Judge turned himself to the left and
| breathed more smoke. He began to lee
| true the defendant:
What have you to say. sir. Don't you
The morning times., 1896-04-26
Yesterday. in fact. the pasJ ten days,
was serious period for cranks.

Yesterday. in fact. the pasJ ten days,
was j serious period for Cranks.
The next prisoner, who stood on the left
of. his honor Judge Kimball in the pen for
the black sheep, was one out ofmauy charged
with the same offense. This man had been
selected as q test case.
Unfortuuates OF his class had been
hauled in at every precinct last night, SO
that the docket was large, and the line of
animals extended from the wicket gate on
the left ofthe Judge clear back 20 and down
the corridor to the maws OF the cells.
Judge Kimball wore his most satisfac.
tory expression, also his great chiuchilla
coat, the collar Of which. but for the pro-
prieties, he would have had elevated be.
yond the northern boundaries Of his ears.
BE had been in court but a few minutes,
There were a few infant icicles still play
ing hide md seek in the jungle of his M us
tache. His cheek had not yet paled In the
amin al atmosphere ofthe room, and hisnose
still wore the peach blow inflicted by the
rude blasts from tire nor-norwest.
Last night in the picturesque language
of the Arabs, was lola cooler. There
have been already several weeks of the
blizzard. and last night there was a rattle
of mustard seed hail, a little rain for
cement, and this morning bids fair to
present avenues deep in snow. with a
surface glossy enough TO set the whole
world sliding and gliding to the music of
the multitudinous bells of the sleigh horses.
THE INHARMoNIoUs PRISONER.
But none the less that historic prisoner
in the dock was a sight to behold and
whereRt and whereon to moralize. He was
portly gentleman, who walked lame
In his right hand he held a large palmetto
fan. Over his left arm was flung an almost
diaphanous alpaca coat. II he had vest
1t was not in the inventory of his walking
suit. A very thin black silk belt sus-
tained somewhat dingy pair OF trousers,
which were flattened in the front and
bulged out toward the south and southwest.
His shirt. as far as could be noted, was
once a ruffled thing of beauty and a Joy
The morning times., 1896-04-26

achievements of coarser and more prosper
GUS men,
Perhaps I am superstihous, but I am
inclined to believe with poor Sisera, Who
can avoid the chance that fate decTees?' -
consider it no sign of weakness that
there were tears in Reginald Stonestreet's
eyes as we left that lonely grave under
the cypress tree.
FRANKIE ELIZABETH WEST.
The morning times., 1896-04-26
His Financial Rating.

"How did you come out in that big deal
the other day?''
''well, If they were selling ocean liners
now for 10 cents apiece I couldn't buy
the rear end OF a canoe unless stood them
off"-Chicago Record.
The morning times., 1896-04-26
There Was No Lack.

Il thought should b. lonely here mus
ed the custodian OF the new crematory,
.'but --'t
He opened the draughts.
there are people 70 burn fesr'-
New York Press.