The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-10

| replleu MS VIE. w ny, you uOn sup
pose l had time to get them to-day do
you?"
And we're not going to move in to-
morrow" demanded the husband, in
voice eloquent with disappointment.
Certainly not, unless you think l
can keep hoIse with two glaaG pitch
ers,' replied the wife with dignity and
some trace OF injured feelings. GIVE
been going through one store after an
other all day long TIL I'm dizzy with
all the things I've seen. Where do you
think 1 had time to buy anything"
The husband begged her to buy pro-
visional utensils, so that they could
move into their house certainly in an
other day 1t was in trembling hope
that he returned home on the following
evening. He found his wife lying upon
the bed.
I've such a headache" she sighed
YEARLY.
The husband Looked around the room.
| Upon the mantelpiecc he saw the two
glass pitchers of the day before, and
at their side a vinegar cruet. He eyed
the cruet hard.
'Humph!" he grunted, with strong
disapproval in his tone.
His wife's eyes had followed his. At
this reproach she arose proudly from
her bed, took him by the arm, and led
him to the window. There was to be
seen a heavily laden truck, from which
men and boys were busilY engaged IN
carrying packages of all shapes and
sizes into the house. She pointed to
| it.
'There," she said, with reproach and
a headache and forgiveness and unrec-
ognized merit all mingled, those are
kitchen things"
With the unreasonableness OF men,
he bounded from one extreme TO the
other.
"Grcat Caesar" he exclaimed, you re
bankrupting me-"
The patience of the woman, though
tried sorely, was not upset for mo-
ment She displayed a large roll of
bills.
"You misiudge me-" she said, tapping
him affectionately upon the cheek.
"You have not yet learned to know your
wife. There are 81 different packages
there, and for them | have spent less
than s., few cost ten cents apiece. and
the others cost five cents. So" she add
ed, with a little pride. you see am not
so extravagant as you thought"
pardon me, dear said the husband,
both penitently anG anXiously. Then
the kitchen is furnished and we can
move in tomorrow"
'No-o-o," replied the wife, mot quite
vet You see, these things are only
some of the things we need. Pots and
kettles and pans" she added, with d
sweet smile, "cost more than five or ten
cents"
The husband sighed and resigned
himself to the boarding house for an
other week. The history of what has
occurred since then is not worth giving
| in detail. You can sec the wife in the
stores any day at this time. She is still
| patient Industrious and sweet natured.
| The husband sometimes accompanies
her. He began going with her while he
still retained the impression that man
| " decision could hasten the slow, tor
| tuous process of shopping. He still is
| her companion nowadays at times, be-
cause he is possessed of the notion
| that it may some time be possible for
him to discover how she spends her
| time at the stores. but he knows that it
is best that he should not accompany
her. The two natures of the male and
the female CRATE. The man cannot grasp
the subtle distinctions that are seized
by intuition by the finer sense of the
| woman. For instance. one day she
showed him a four-quart saucepan.
''The price of this" she said, sis 40
cents. Now in the other store we can
get a saucepan like it for II cents. Now,
which one ought we to buy?"
THE other" said the husband
promptly.
But" objected the wife, "they are
different and I don't know which is
the best"
"Buy both" said the husband,
promptly
But" objected the wife, 1--WE need
only one of them"
Flip a cent" said the husband,
promptly,
"And perhaps get the worst of it,"
said the wife.
"Then don't buy either" said the
man, promptly.
OF course the proper solution of the
difficulty was to go to a third store and
find a third saucepan of third price
and quality; but ii never occurred to
the husband to suggest such thing,
! and as for the wife she was so confused
by the unkind behavior of her husband
that she always failed to remember the
proper procedure in such cases until
she got home. Then she was accus-
| toned to tell her husband where he had
been mistaken, and intervals of cool
ness would arise between them. So the
husband has given up accompanying
his wife to the stores.
Six weeks have passed and the hus.
band no longer asks his wife every
evening if she thinks she will be able to
! get the few things still lacking on the
morrow, so that they will be able to
move into their new house on the day
following. He has schooled himself to
| a Doint where he is now RESIGNED IN