Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-05-14

again. And the paperhanger always
wants the door shut just at the time
the carpenter wants 1t open. or the
carpenter always wants to work at tho
washboard just after the paper man
has moved his bench to that side of the
room, or the man of rolls and paste de-
sires to paste and spread above the
window that the carpenter Is just about
to take out, so the mistress Of the es-
adjustment Is kept In constant panic
lest one should brain the other. which
would be just terrible. you know. be-
sides mussing the door.
Side issues are constantly arising.
The man who is doing the plastering
always walks over the floor that has
just been scrubbed; Of course he could
not walk anywhere else; he would 60
half a block out of his way to leave the
tracks Of his limy brogans on that new
~ cleansed surface, and when he IL
scolded for his carelessness, revenges
himself by swearing at the man who IL
putting In a new gas pipe, who, In turn,
curses the plumber for laying water
pipe SO as to compel an extra turn in
the gas conduit. The women who
scrub grumble at the cook who does
not heat the water hot enough for their
use, and SO 1t goes on, the whole house
being filed with cursing and bitterness
until the calamity is overpast.
The only participants who really en-
Joy their job are the carpet beaters,
this exception arising from the fact
that after the carpets are taken up,
they must be transported out of the
neighborhood to be beaten. Carpet
beaters, like detectives, always work in
couples, and why one should always
be short and stout and the other tall
and thin is one of the mysteries of na-
ture and housekeeping. BY removing
their impedimenta from the immediate
vicinity Of the engagement, the carpet
beaters escape contact with the oth4
combat ants and are enabled to beat thk
carpets into holes In comparative
peace. This Is an advantage which
they appreciate; that Is, II an Idea Of
their appreciation Of the job may be
gained from the noise they make at II,
for couple Of carpet cleaners, In good
health and with carpet that can stand
the blows, are able to give a very sue
cessful imitation Of bombardment.
Their trouble comes when the carpets
are brought back and the housewife
gazes on the assures that cape along
every seam, but the experienced beaten
Is never worried by such trifle as the
feelings Of carpet owner; IL he did,
he would not be fit for his business, so
he listens with patience, sews up the
rips as well as he can, and relays the
carpet in calm confidence that next
spring he will be again called on to
beat the same carpet into the same
fragments and listen to the same Ian
guage about 1t.
1t Is not of record that the experts on
mental disease have as yet given any
special attention to the housekeeping
mania as form of insanity, but hus-
bands and other interested persons
may hope that in time it may receive
some measure of professional notice
and that measures may be adopted for
its alienation If 1t be finally found in
durable. Perhaps, when the millen-
mum comes carpets will not need beat
ing and floors will remain forever free
from dust, and even If this hope should
prove futile, the Blouse with Many
Mansions" will need no repairs and
there is no mention made of carpets in
any Of it's numerous apartments. There
the housewife will cease from troubling
about the cleaning and the carpet
beaten will be Mt rest.