The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1896-03-07
UNDER THE SURGEONS KNIFE
OR HOW 1T FEELS TO SEE YOURSELF DIE.

4
| opium. In a moment IL would all b,
| over. and / should be free. / knew
was immortal. but what would happier
did not know. Should 1 drift off pres
emily like a puff of smoke from a gun
In some kind of half material body, ar
at.enuated version of my maternal
| selfY Should / find myself suddenly
among the innumerable hosts of the
dead. and see the world about me truly
the phantasmagoria IL had always
seemed? Should / drift to some spirit
ualistic seance and there make foolish
incomprehensible attempts to affect a
purblind medium? 1t was a state OF
Unconditional curiosity. or colorless ex-
pectation.
And then I realized a growing stress
upon me. a feeling as though some huge
human magnet was drawing me up
ward from my body. The stress grew
ana grew. 1 seemed an atom, for which
monstrous forces were fighting. For
one Drlef, terrible moment sensation
came back. That feeling of falling
headlong that comes to one in night
mares that feeling a thousand times
intensified, that and a black horror
swept across my thoughts In a torrent.
Then the two doctors, the naked body.
with Its cut side, the little room, swept
from under me and vanished as a speck
OF foam vanishes down an eddy.
1 was I'm midair.
Far below me was the west end re-
ceding rapidly-for I seemed flying
swiftly upward-and as IL receded
passing like a panorama, westward. I
could see through the faint haze of
smoke, the innumerable roofs, chimney
set, the narrow roadways stippled with
people and conveyances. the little
specks Of squares. the church steeples
sticking out OF the fabric like little
horns. But IL spun away westward as
the earth rotated on its axis and in n
Few seconds tas IL seemed) / was over
the scattered clumps of town about
Ealing, the little Thames a thread of
blue to the south, and the Chiltern hills
and the North Downs coming up like
the rim OF a basin, far away and faint
with haze. Up / rushed, and at first
i had not the faintest conception
what this headlong rush upward
meant.
Every moment the circle of scenery
beneath me grew wider and wider, the
details of the town and field, of hill
ana valley, more and more hazy and
pale and indistinct, a luminous gray
mingled. more and more with the blue
ness of the hills and the green of the
open meadows. But a little patch of
cloud low and far to the westward,
shone ever more dazzling white Above
me, as the veil of atmosphere between
myself and outer space grew thinner,
the sky, which had been a fair spring.
time blue at first, grew deeper and
richer in color, passing steadily through
the retiring shades. until presently 1t
was as dark as the blue sky of moon
light, and presently as black as the
blackness of a frosty starlight, and at
last as black as no blackness / have
ever beheld. And first one and then
many, and at last an innumerable host
OF stars broke out upon the sky, more
stars than anyone has ever seen from
the surface of the earth.
For the blueness of the sky is the
light OF the sun and stars sifted and
spread abroad blindingly; there is diff
fused light even in the darkest skies of
winter. and we do not see their light by
day because of the dazzling irradiation
OF the sun. But I saw things now-I
know not how, but asssuredly with no
mortal eyes-and that defect of bedaz-
element blinded me no more.
The sun was incredibly strange and
wonderful. The body of II was a disk
OF binding white light, not yellowing
as II seems to those who live upon the
earth, but livid white, all streaked with
scarlet streaks and trimmed about with
a fringe of writhing tongues of red fire.
And shooting half way across the
heavens from either side OF II, and
brighter than the milky way, were two
wings OF silver white, making IL look
more like those winged globes have
seen upon Egyptian sculptures, than
anything else l can remember. This /
knew for the solar corona, though had
never seen anything of IL but a picture
during the days of my life.
When my attention came back to the
earth again, 1 saw that II had fallen
very far away from me. Field and
town were long since Observation-Disclosures.
and all the varied hues of the country
were merging into a uniform bright
gray, broken only by the brilliant white
OF the clouds that lay scattered in foe
culent masses over Ireland and the
west OF England. For now / could see
the outlines of the north of France and
Ireland and all this island of Britain,
save where Scotland passed over the
horizon to the north, or where the coast
was hidden by networks or banks of
cloud. The sea was a dull gray and |
darker than the land, and the whole |
thing was rotating slowly towards the |
east.
Now. all this happened so swiftly
that until / was some thousand miles |
or so from the earth / was so much oc-
cupied with 1t that / had no thought |
Tor myself And then / perceived had |
neither hands nor feet, parts nor or |
gans, and that l felt neither alarm nor |
pain. All about l perceived that the |
vacant space (for / had already left |
the earth behind)was cold beyond the |
Imagination of man, but IL troubled me |
not. The suns rays shot through the |
VOID, powerless to light or warm, until |
they should strike on matter i'm their |
course. l saw things with a serene |
even as IL i were |
god. And down below there, rushing |
away from me-countless miles In a |
a little dark spot on the |
gray marked the position of London, |
two doctors were struggling to bring |
back life TO the poor. hacked and out |
worn body l had just abandoned. l |
felt then such release, such serenity as
can compare to no earthly delight / |
had ever experienced.
IL was only after i had perceived all |
these things that the meaning OF the |
headlong rush OF the earth away from |
me grew into comprehension. Yet II |
was so simple. so obvious. that / was |
amazed at my never anticipating the /
thing that was happening to me. had |
nj hsaa. ant l,.IG