Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-07-09
AS A FAVOR TO AUNT SUSAN.
The Colonel Once Hunted Up a Thirty
Second Cousin.

az say" said the colonel, LOOKING AROUND
the table. "did either Of you fellows ever
try to hunt up one of your aunt's sixth or.
seventh cousins whom you had nevs~
SEEM"
.sNo." said Johnson 'never had that
pleasure. Kindly pass me the mustard
well" continued the colonel, stroking
| his mustache tenderly, 'if ever you get to
feeling too happy for health just try it.
! It's a sure cure for undue joy.
"A few weeks ago." he went on, Il got
letter from aunt Susan, who lives in Chi
cago. asking me TO look up the second
cousin of her sisters first husbands step
brother"
Her what?" inquired Johnson, sharply.
81 said it, retorted the colonel. IF you
can't understand anything as simple as
| that might as well give up trying to tell
| this story. The lady's name, aunt Susan
| said. was Mrs James Jackson. AS 1 don't
often have a chance to do anything for
aunt Susan 1 consulted directory with all
haste. i found that there were 81 James
Jacksons in the city"
What did you do?" said Johnson. put
'em in a hat and draw one?"
81 did think Of sending a typewriter let
ter to the 80 Mrs Jacksons," answered the
colonel, asking them If they were the
| second cousins Of the step-brother OF my
| aunt Susan's sisters first husband, but II
occurred TO me that one or two of the q
James Jacksons might be unmarien in
which case they would probably say mean
things about me, so I wrote to aunt Susan
and asked her which one of the 50 Mrs.
Jacksons the second cousin Of her sisters
| first husbands step-brother by marriage
this one was, and where the devil she lived.
In a few weeks more I got an answer say
ing that the second"-
yes. we know what you mean" said
Johnson. eff you DO speak Dutch"
well, all right-she lived at a certain
number in Forty-second street. So one
Sunday evening. being in a benevolent
mood, thought | would cheer Mrs. Jack
sons heart with a sight Of me. l went.
When the maid opened the door l said, Is
Mrs. James Fl. Jackson in?'
'She said she was.
please take my card to her. I said.
She said she would. Then she showed me
, into the drawing room, which was as dark
as war cloud, and went away without
lighting the gas / tried to find a chair, and
fell over a cricket. While / was on all
tours huntingdon my hat l saw mans
figure outlined against the doorway.
"tMr-er-er Rover he said, inquiring,y.
'I said. 4 am it. But l asked for Ms.
Jackson, believe-Mrs James II. Jackson
"'O,' he said. Please walk this way
81 tried my best, but I couldn't lie
wadded like duck. followed him into
the library.
Maria he said. this is Mr-er-Rowe'
"A tall, gray haired woman with a Ro
man nose rose from the far corner and
stood still.
"Tndeed.' said she.
"I felt encouraged TO remark. 7 dare say
you have heard my name before
80, all, yes, to be sure she said with
a vacant grin 'Rowe-yes, to be sure, of
course
Having thus been assured that | was
welcome, I helped myself to a chair and
went on: MY aunt Susan. Miss Reed. of
Chicago, wished me to look in on you. She
said she spoke to you Of me last summer
"M-m, yes-so she did, said Mrs. Jack
son, looking as If she was having a tooth
pulled. so she did. Mr.. Jackson was
writing letters in corner. I was looking
at the pictures Oh l4lt blppSllt WAL. anu
trying TO remember where I had seen worse
ones. Suddenly ! saw the light of a dawn
ing intelligence in her eyes.
'You-you-er write, or-or something.
don't your she said hopefully. l said did.
"'And your mothers name was-er-
'She looked at me as if she was suffer-
ing so I said. My mothers maiden name
was Ralston.'
stSbe ia rlt- iur1y,ad ~ Il, h.
words out of my mouth she murmured.
We'll, after that we got on swimmingly,"
continued the colonel, helping himself to
cheese. She asked me how uncle Joshua
was. I had never heard of uncle Joshua.
but I said he had failed a good deal during
the last year.
$50, then you have seen him recently?'
she asked in a surprised way.
81 said l had.
~ didn't know your business would al
low you to get as far away as New Or
leans, she gurgled.
81 said had been i'll and went South for
my health.
Then she said Aunt Elias death was
very sad, very sad. wasn't ito
II said ii was worse than that, and just
to seem sociable. added that her son must
miss her very much.
"Mrs. Jackson sat up straight. Her SON.
she exclaimed. You mean her daughter.
don't YOU?
81 said I did. Ordinarily I would have
stood my ground. but 1t wouldn't have been
polite TO contradict the lady the first time
1 met her, and, besides. / wasn't in the
mood for argument, anyway.
''Mr. Jackson kept on writing letters. l
was just thinking | had done my duty by
aunt Susan. when Mrs. Jackson reused
herself with al effort and said: DO you
know, 1 believed that 1 once kissed you
when you We're a baby
That settled IT, l don't remember lust
how got into the hall. l believe l told
her 1 would come again, but that was only
one more lie. When l got opposite the
drawing room door It occurred to me that
something was missing. Mr. Jackson was
holding the door open. went into the
drawing room, lighted the gas, fshed my
hat from under the sofa and turned out
the gas again. I couldn't swear that I
spoke to Jackson when | went out"
The colonel regarded his plate thought
fully moment. Then he looked up and
caught the sympathizing glances of his
friends
Don't ever do 1t. boys" he said.-New
York Tribune.