Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-03-25

Tai1irainia FREE 9tess.
MADE NYE FAMOUS.
His Letter Of Resignation Witch Called
National Attention to Him.


In 1881 Bill Nye was briefess lawyer,
dabbling In country newspaper work at
Laramie, Wyoming. The thing which drew
him out of his obscurity and eventually made
him famous humorist with good-sized
fortune was the letter in which he resigned
his place as United States commissioner
That letter, which was reprinted everywhere,
marked the advent of new comic writer
and the turn of the tide in the affairs of
Edgar Wilson Nye. Here is the famous
epistle:
To the Department of Justice, Washing
tou, d. c.: Several months ago | resigned
as United States commissioner of this judi
cial district. The government did not ac-
cept my resignation, thus tacitly asserting
that there was no one who was considered
competent to take my place in holding up
this corner of the national fabric.
now once more resign. do not do so
because | am displeased with the govern
ment, or because | am displeased with pub
lie life. There is no reason why the gov
eminent and myself should not continue TO
be friends, but under the new regime for
United States commissioners of district
courts / am compelled to retire from the
official capacity which have so long filled
with so much skill and credit, both to my
self and the United States.
The Department of Justice now requires
me to furnish a detailed statement each
month of all the business done by the COM
missioner, with his official certificate at
tached. ! am also required to keep large
volume in my Office as a record Of the United
States cases examined by me. | am to do
this at my own expense, in order that the
honor and high moral tone Of the nation
may remain unsmirched.
All these requirements | could, of course,
comply with, but am cursed with the hOr-
rible apprehension that in the future l shall
be required to do more of this till the ex-
pense will be more than can meet. | could
now, of course, get little chores to DO around
town, enough for necessary funds to buy the
records, etc, but before another year the
government may require me to buy mar
ble.top center table, and two or three'paiut-
ings by the old masters, in order to give the
popular amount of terror 10 the United
States criminals This would compel me
to 90 without new overcoat and under
clothes, of which am sadly in need. | had
hoped that with the financial prosperity Of
the past year there would be one case, at
least for examination, for which ! could
realize Sc or 81, and which would ease this
branch of the Department of Justice tenn
porarily but have been disappointed all
the way through could squeeze along
without the overcoat in order to get the re
quired record this winter, but the under
clothes feel as if ought to have
might die suddenly while on The bench
aud it would sound harshly if the telegraph
ic dispatch were to state that when the posi-
norton was held the jury found verde
that the United States commissioner haC
died from exposure and a temporary stagna
ton Of undrrclothes.
Our winters here are quite severe, and i
the Department of Justice should some da!
require me in my official capacity to buy at
upright piano and keep i, on file, woulC
have to cIothe myself in my answering in
tegrity and a pair Of gold bowed eyeglasses
There is no question about the air o
cheerlulness that a piano would give to my
office, especially if some lady were to b
tried on some charge or another, for sh'
could bang an overture out of the iuslru
ment while waiting for the United State
attorley to come, aud it would help him xii
time, but the court would either have to locl
itself in an adjoining closet till the deiendan
had gone, or ask her to loan him her shaw
during the trial.
You will see from these suggestion
whittier we are drifting.
will now turn the Office over to the de
partment T, consists Of a pine box, Will
some specimens of secondhand chewing
tobacco, preserved in sawdusl, and bald
headed feather duster. The department
will please send a receipt to me for thes
archives, as desire to have everything don,
correctly and with the usual amount of pre-
cision and DELAY.
The United States, in nay resignation
sustains loss which it can i'll afford, anC
the national superstructure becomes aImos
lettering wreck. The popular man may
be raised up for this crisis, but it is not Il
all probable.
DR. Tanner would be good man. sim
ply throw this out as suggestion.
Still, he would require clothes. hadn'
thought of that.
1t is very seldom that you find MAI
with the happy union of qualifications nee
essary for this Office. You may secure (
man who can live on the delightful climate
, and what cold food he can secure among
the neighbors, but he is liable to have al
| uugovernable appetite for clothes, while, OF
the other hand you may find man who il
the exact vice versa, or whatever you may
call it, of tie other man.