Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1896-06-27
How He Was Forced to Lecture in
Washington Without Warning.
HIS ATTRACTIVE WAYS
"reminiscences Of tho Popular Au-
thor and Lecturer.
A FAMOUS BANQUET SPEECH
Writteo for The Evening Star.

titled Personal Recollections of Joan OF
Arc" by Mark Twain. Considering the
facts that Joan lived and died in the early
part of the fifteenth century, and that
Mark was born along toward the middle of
the nineteenth century, thus requiring him
to draw upon his memory for narration Of
events personally observed by him about
four and a half centuries before he was
born. captious people might want to know
the processes by which his mind had ac-
complished this fact. I do not belong to
that faction. My faith Is unlimited in
anything Mark Twain may say or do.
A few years ago it was my good or i'll
fortune to be at the head of an executive
Office under the federal government in
Washington. One day during a session of
Congress- slightly built, gray-haired man
was ushered into my room, bearing note
Of introduction to me from Senator Joseph
R. Hawley of Connecticut. The man was
Mark Twain. I was glad to meet him, and
told him so. following the statement hy
another to the effect that something more
than twenty years before 1 had listened
with a good deal Of delight to a lecture de-
iivered by him in Washington on the SUBJ
oect OF THE Sandwich Islands,
An unprecedented Lecture.
"Oh yes" said Twain. II delivered such
lecture in this city. and the history of
that production was peculiar. I came here
at that time for rest and to visit some of
my friends. Congress was in session, and
expected to have a good time. 1 arrived
in the city at night, and being tired Gid not
care to leave the hotel for any purpose I'm
til morning.
When 1 opened the daily paper next
morning at breakfast, what was my amaze
ment to see an announcement in the ad-
VertlsinS columns that l would deliver a
lecture that evening at the old Lincoln
Hall on the subject of the Sandwich Is
lands 1 had no such lecture on hand. No
body had asked me to deliver such lee
ture. Not soul had spoken to me on the
subject, nor had 1 spoken to anybody i'm
mediately or remotely limiting toward such
a performance. To say that l was angry,
would iinperfectly describe my mental con-
ditton. For once, language seemed too
poor to enable me to do the subject justice.
l lonSed TO meet the miscreant or miscre-
ants who had taken such liberties with my
name But the more l reflected on the
subject, the more the embarra ssnlents Of
the situation dawned upon me. Suppose I
should make a public statement Of the
facts that the announcement of the lee
ture was without my authorization. knowl-
edge or consent Half the community
would not believe me- They would think
there was some advertising dodge in some
way connected with it.
las you may imagine, my appetite had
disappeared, and my breakfast was left
upon the table untasted. I wanted to find
my unknown advertising agent. When I
visited the hotel Office l found huge pos
tecs upon the walls making the same an
nouncement as was contained in the news
paper advertising columns, and that the
whole town had been billed in thorough
manner.
Taking the Bull by the Horns.
by careful series of inquiries learned
that an old personal friend of mine, whose
libations sometimes led him into extrava-
gancies and Inconsistencies. had put up
this job upon ME, not through pique or
malice, but in his exuberance at learning 1
Wa s in the city, wanted to give a demon
stration Of his admiration for me- That
explanation settled my fate. I saw 1 was
III for 1t. l could not inform the public
that the whole miserable business was the
result OF drunken freak on the part Of
cEe of my personal friends. So I went to
my room, denied myself to all visitors and
devoted that day to writing a lecture on
the subject of the Sandwich Islands. What
you heard Oh the night you spoke of was
the result"
The lecturer had no reason to he ashamed
of the performance. He had a magnificent
audience Representatives and Senator's
bureau and cabinet officers, citizens and
strangers filled all the seats of the i'm
n1ense hall, and there was not even stand
ing room in the aisles. THE Innocents
Abroad had been published only a short
time before. and the public had been quick
to recognize the fact which that work dis
closed, that side by side with the uuaintest
Wit there were specimens of rhetoric which
marked the author as a master of English
prose.
A Drag-Net Lecture.
AS may be supposed, the Sandwich Is
lands did not constitute the sole topic of
that lecture. 1t was used as sort of drag
net to bring before the audience incidents
and fmageries which had been floating in
the mind of the lecturer In his long EXPERT
troy l.
called his attention to one Illustration he
used in the course of his lecture to show
how mean human nature could sometimes
be. He said: I'm a mining district In Cali
fornia there was one day a miner engaged
In preparing a charge for blasting rock.
With tamping rod in hand he was tamping
tamping, tamping, but in an un1ucky mo-
ment he gave one lamp too much. The
charge exploded premature1y and that
miner shot up into the air like a cannon
ball. At first he locked about as big as a
small boy, then about as big as cat then
about as big as bee and then he went
peared. At first he appeared to be about
as big as a bee. then about as big as a cat,
then about as big as a small boy, then he
landed on the same old rock, the tamping
rod entered the same old hole, and he com
menced tar ping, tamping. tamping. That
man wasn't gone more than fifteen min
utec. But don't you think that mining
company wanted to dock that man for lost
When Twain brought the note of intro
duction to me 1 supposed his chief purpose
was probably to look through the institu-
ton then III my charge; but as our CONVEX
sation progressed and heads Of divisions
and callers from the Capitol dropped in on
official business and were introduced to
him, he became the center of a captivated
group of listeners. who remained as long
as they could hear him talk
At n Chicago Banquet.
At the time Of his Lincoln Hall lecture
in Washington, Mark Twain's hair was
black, and as he stood at the front Of the
platform I thought he was a splendid
specimen Of young manhood. About ten
years afterward 1 saw and heard him again
at the banquet given in Chicago in honor
of the return of Gen. Grant from a trip
around the world The occasion called to-
gether more military and literary celebri-
ties than are likely to be seen again in one
assemblage in a generation. Grant, Sher-
man. Sheridan, Schofield, Logan and many
other military officers less in rank were
there; and among the gentlemen ANNOUNCE
ed for speeches were Robert G. Ingersoll,
Stewart l.. Woodford, Emory A. Storrs,
Leonard SWEET, William F. Villas and Mark
Twain. 1t was nearly o'clock in the
morning when the toast to which Twain
was to respond was read. Naturally, af-
ter sitting of nearly nine hours at the