Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-03-05

klnd-ll not an interchange of sympa-
thies through the medium of tactful
and we'll chosen words? Through it
manners are expressed and the most in
innate qualities as we'll as defects Of
the heart transpire, 1t il the most i'm
portant social accomplishment. From a
merely selfish point Of view it il a sine
qua non Of worldly success, and the
really successful conversationalists are
those who talk not to please themselves,
but their listeners.
To polite society conversation is what
atmospheric air is to the animal and
plant life OF the world. In it we live,
move and have our being; without it
we should languish, disintegrate and
die. Like the air, it is susceptible Of
sudden and rapid changes in tempera-
ture, being successively hot and cold,
heavy and exhilarating, sitting and
stuffyi or at certain elevations too rare
tied for comfort. Under its propitinus
smile the individual character bour-
geons and blooms forth in most advan-
tageous manifestation, but let the wind
change and the skies cloud over, and
the same human sensitive plant Ehrivels
up into silent insignifcance.
There is a fanciful theory, as ancient
as Plato and as modern as DR.. Holmes,
which supposes our spirits susceptible
to certain influences mutually diffused,
after the manner Of streams or currents,
by persons Yisibly or audibly in each
others presence, into the air around,
acting, in the case Of sensitive natures,
like potent material essences. Have you
never yourself felt the influence of some
thing like this peculiar spell? am sure
have, and the conclusion to be drawn
from the experience is, it seems to me,
that the real art Of conversation, in 60
far as it il an art tn he studied and ac-
quired, consists in making an apt start
lin pressing the right button, 50 to
speak, and 50 turning on the particular
current which is to congenially pervade
the circle
For instance, recall a certain lunch
con party in London, where my viva
eious friend n. and myself were NOS
only the sole American but also the
only untitled guests, Our hostess was a
most lovable person, her hospitality was
bounteous and in perfect taste, the com
pany was we'll chosen and distingue--
and yet the conversation tagged woeful-
ly. You felt 1t was there, but somehow
choked up and unable to find its way
out. Politics, art, literature, esoteric
Buddhism aud the weather had each
and all fallen fiat. Matters were grow
ing more and more oppressive, until at
last, in an impulse of desperation,
suddenly addressed to N, across the
table, the most trivial, fippant and to-
tally irrelevant remark that came into
my head. 1t was not, trust, quite akin
to the opening break made by the bash
full man who said to his partner as he
led her in to dinner, II don't mind be-
ing ugly, do you?" Just what my re-
mark was, IN fact, cannot now recall,
fortunately, since it was probably one
of those things which occasionally will
bear being said, but never written. No
doubt, however, it was as absurd as
that with which Charles Lamb once
nonplused a man at table who was mo-
nopolizing the hare, "Sir, is that year
own hare or a wigfn Well, at any rate,
N. caught up the cue, and with her ma
tive verve tossed back an equally auda-
cious retort. The effect was electrical.
Everybody looked up and smiled, some
burst into laughter, two or three people
began talking at once, and even the
i Col f@a+
that he might venture to open his
mouth. Thenceforward all went merrily
as a marriage bell, and when it was
we'll over cur delighted hostess thanked
N. and myself with sincere effusion.
Not long afteIward, having a recep-
ton Of my own to give in London. /
confded to one Of my social accomplces
my intention Of trying a somewhat orig
inal xperiment-namely, Of having
my guests amuse themselves and one
another 'tont of their own heads" in
stead of depending upon the earnest but
often ineffective efforts Of the semipro
/ fessionai entertainers whose services in
London are considered indispensable
and are regularly contracted for on such
4 occasions. My experienced friend was
struck aghast. Impossible, my dear III
I she exclaimed. Don't think of such a
thing, beg Of you. Fancy making your
\ debut as hostess here with a ghastly
failure, such as your scheme would posi-
lively insure. " Shaken, but not con-
vinced, l arranged a compromise.
/ would have the entertainers, but hold
them in reserve, only to be drawn upon
in case of an unmistakable collapse of
I the purely social and conversational en-
train. Accordingly we paid assiduous
attention to our guests as they arrived,
carefully grouping or pairing of people
/ who were likely TO possess common
\ affinities, or, better still. who were rea.
sonably certain to get into interesting
disputes with one another. Long before
the time for descending to the supper
room the hum of conversation and
laughter bad become positively inspir-
ing. 1t was general, spontaneous and
unrestrained by any formal demonstra-
tions on the part of our musical, dra-
matte and humorous auxiliaries. who,
having received our HUT mingled with
the other guests, fancy free and without
the obsession Of responsibility. So, al
together. my experiment based upon .
rational estimate Of conversation as an
entertaining factor was a success, and
when the company finally dispersed il
the small hours Of the morning / felt
more sereneiy confident than usual that
none of my guests had gone away disap
! pointed or bored.
Making allowance for the superficial
differences due chiefly to racial temper
ament which characterize respectively
! English and Anerican. Teutnnin ant