Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-02-07
Htiseellaneuus 8eadii.g.
A MAN AND A BROTHER.
By Artemus Ward.

| hTleuuS WdIu 10 uCou duu Souoj
but his pleasant, genial humor lives
after him to keep his memory fresh.
Here is bit of fun and philosophy
from his pen. 1t was written in Eng
land:
I was sitting in the bar, quietly
smokin a frugal pipe, when two middle
aged and stern-lookin females and a
young and pretty female suddenly
entered the room. They were accom-
panied by two umbrellers and Negro
gentleman.
"Do you feel for the downtrodden ?''
said one of the females, a thin-faced
and sharp-voiced person in green
spectacles.
"Do I feel for it ?" answered the
landlord, in puzzled voice-"do I
feel for it?"
ayes, for the oppressed, the be-
United ?"
"Inasmuch as to which ?" said the
lau'lord.
"You see this man ?" said the fe-
male, pintin her umbreller at the
Negro gentleman.
ayes, marin, I see him."
"Yes !" said the female, raising her
voice to an exceeding high pitch, 'you
see him, and he's your brother !"
"No, I'm earned if he is 70 said the
landlord, hastily retreatin to his beer
casks.
"And yours !'' shouted the excited
female, addressin me. "He is also
your brother"
"No, think not, marm," I pleasant
ly replied. "The nearest we come to
that color in our family was the case
of my brother John. He had the
janders for sev'ral years, but they
finally left him. I am happy to state
that at the present time he hasn't a
solitary lander"
"Look at this man ?" screamed the
female.
looked at him. He was an able
bodied, well-dressed, comfortable
looking Negro. He looked as though
he might heave three or four good
meals into him without a murmur.
Look at the downtrodden man P'
cried the female.
"Who trod on him ?" I inquired.
civilians despots !"
"Well," said the landlord, "why
don't you go to the w.llins about it 2
Why do you come here tellin US mig
gers is our brothers, and brandishin
your umbrellers round like lot Of
lunytics You're wuss than the sper-
rit-rappers."
"Have you," said the middle-aged
female No. 2, who was a quieter sort
of person, shave you no sentiment
no poetry in your soul-no love for
the beautiful? Dost never 60 into the
green fields to Gull the beautiful flow
ers ?"
81 not only never dost," said the
landlord, in an angry voice, "but I'll
bet you FIVE pounds you can't bring a
man as dares say burst ?"
"The little BIRDS" continued the
female, "dost not love to gaze onto
them"
III would I were bird, that I might
fly to thouw I humorously sung,
casting a sweet glance at the pretty
young woman.
"Don't you look in that way at my
dawter," said female No. l, in a vio-
lent voice "you are old enough to be
her father"
"Twas an innocent look, dear mad
am" I softly said. "You behold in
me an emblem of innocence and
purity. In fact, start for Rome by
the first train tomorrow to sit as a
model to a celebrated artist who is
about to sculp statue to be called
Sweet Innocence. Do you s'pose a
sculper would send for me for that
purpose onless he knowed I was over
lowin with innocence? Don't make a
error about me-"
"It is my opinion" said the leadin'
female, "that you're a scoffer and a
wretch Your mind is in wusser
beclouded state than the poor Negroes
we are seekin to aid. You are groper
in the dark cellar of sin, o sinful
man
"'There is a sparkling fount,
Come, o come and drink
No; you will not come and drink"
eyes, he will" said the landlord, "if
you'll treat. Jest try him."
"As for you," said the enraged fe-
male to the landlord, "you're degrad-
ed bein, too low and vulgar to talk to-"
"This is the sparklin fount for me,
dear sister !' cried the landlord, DRAWN
and drinkin a mug of beer. Having
uttered which goak, he gave a low,
rumbling larf, and relapst into silence.
"My colored fren," said to the Ne
gro kindly, "what is it all about? ?" He
said they were tryin to raise money to
send missionaries to the Southern
States in America to preach to the
vast number of Negroes recently made
free there. He said they were without
the gospel. They are without tracts.
1 said, "My fren, this is seris matter.
l admire you for trying to help the
race to which you belong, and far be
it from me to say anything again car
rying the gospel among the blacks OF
the South. Let them 60 to them by
III DIT honnap n indi Vi6u-