The morning times., 1896-05-24
THE ANNUAL LOCAL EXODUS TO SUMNER RESORTS
Country and Seaside
Experiences Which
Are Likely to Make
the Average Man
Have Faith in the
" Hot and Tired City"
IS o me Summer
Types.

that puts up the swing, helps them on the
bikes andthe horses, goes 70 town for things,
climbs impossible trees for impracticabIe
flowers and moss and lcheHs, and comes
home with leg pulled out OF Joint and tie
other dislocated at the ankle He damns
the whole business. and is ready 10 vote
even against street extensions in the board
of trade
AL the sights at these genuine and alleged
resorts are not local Some OF them are
made on the spot. We have in our eye at
this moment a twin picture. One is the
unmarried Congressman, or perhaps he is
| married, and has a committee meeting say
eOr the seacoast defenses at Newport
His wife, of course, does not go away with
him on these business trips He bathes a
good deal; he rides a good deal; he boats
good deal, and when he comes home be has
new theories TO explain the reason why his
face sheds its skin when exposed to the
terrific heat of a committee room at a
seaside hotel. He wears all over his face
and hands the outward manifestations or
inward grace as they say in ecclesiastical
parIance, and he is really not sorry that he
is home again.
But there is a very sagac cious fellow who
Is justified by the faith that is in him that
it is always cool in the vicinity of this
city. Washington is unique, it may be
| noted, in the respect tina it is the only
! city in the world that ever had two cyclones
| and a sky-scraping fire inside of thirty six
| hours, as was the fact last week The
l. -sagaciOus Congressman, of whom we have
spoken, knows from the fact that Wash
!nGton is in the plumb center OF the meridian
and is at equal distances from the east.
north, west and south pOintsof the compass
that a breeze. big or little. from any side
IS bound 70 hit him.
AT other famous summer resorts it is
known fact that the breeze is CCoI only
when it blows from the sea, and THIS occurs
90 seldom that most people come back arer
the season with the well Gone crabsheII
face. Compare this fortuitous happiness
with that of the NJ c, who has bought
him snug little cottage on the crest OF
one OF those hillsin the suburbs which over
.ook the Alleghauies and through which
Major Powell thinks tunnels may be exca-
waited for the laying Of asphalt bicycle and
dock-Eailed horse driveways. When the
baby is asleep and likewise the other one
OF the child's responsibilities. he gets him
self another cold bottle of root beer, which
has been freezing for hours in q cedar
/! bucket full OF the gurgling water of North
Greek: he fills up his china-briar pipe with
a stem as long as that of d Earghile; the
stem is tipped with calamus root, and thence
forward until the gray dawn he sees visions
and dreams. This man has the satisfaction
of knowing that he really burned the gas
which he would have been reckoHed up
against him by the liar in the cellar. even IL
he had been away for three months at
Newport. or Ivy City, at some OF their
magnificent hotels
This man, this wise man. this homins
pigeon of the human flock, is an edifying
member OF the local family. II is true
he may have been presented with mis- cot
tage and lot by some generous man or
company, who sells LANDS ne doesn't want
when Congress runs streets through his
cornfields- But that is not the question
The real issue is that he believes Washing
ton to be the coolest spot in the hottest
season on the globe.
When he gets up in the morning for a
spin down town with his wife or daughter
it is down grade the whole way; good turf,
good pebbles, and asphalt TO complete the
journey; and going back they need no
brakes The eight mile an hour law does
not apply going up steep hills or getting
over fences
With this compare a pair of bicycIers.
male and female. at any OF the inland re
sorts, where, when it rains. the yellow.
golden mud will receive the wheel up TO
the axle, or in the dry season, OF any
other. the corduroy road is the bette noir
of the bike.
on the asphalt anywhere within the fire
limits on a moonlight night the summeE
swallows twitter like this:
If you think you'll fall, hold me-"
'Then wait till 1 catch up"
On the corduroy or even on a ridgy cObble-
stone road, that mcllifIuous tongue woul9
sound like this:
Fiffifu thth ink ullfiffaH, etc
Ththen wwwait tiulhln kick-kiek- ketch
pup, pup, pup
There is no possible chance of doing any
psychological business on a bike under these
terrible conditions, and the moral is Just
as broad as the Wash shIngton roads in warm
weather.
There is also time for each one to ask
himself or herself questions. II am
to be sunbHrned, sick. wounded, eft,
scorched, skinned, have my leg pagssi,
bIistered, or honeycombed with the Rsssi-
lentiaI mosquito, why not patronies ahe
home mosquito and the local straEeerry
festival. Why should the member es any
| congregation think it proper to follow the
| preacher into the wilderness, where he
neither breaches nor is preached to, on,
| his summer vacation. There are Others
| Who has ever contended that the local
| buckwheat cake, or the fried egg tone
| side or both sidesl, is not as fresh when
well fried, as the egg OF the seaside hen7
Who has ever said that the Potomac bath
ing beach water is half as salty, or other
wise as disagreeable as ths sea water at
| Newport, Cape May or Soney IsEand2
| 1t is high time that the ese,usives of the
northwest, the MarborOs. she Montgomes-
| les, the Prince Georges and the Princess
Annes. and other Maryland bedrock fam.
lilies should learn that 1t is not half az
| wicked to go into the Potomac in striped