The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1896-01-30
PROF. FELIX ADLER'S ADDRESS
BEFORE THE ETHICAL Gull
TURE SOCIETY.
A TREATY OF PERFECT PEACE
Such Should Marriage be Between Two
Sovereigns, Man and Woman.
Neither Can be Perfect in
This World.

Prof. Felix Adler, in an address to the
Ethical Culture society in New York a
few nights ago, on 'Some of the Causes
of Married Infelicity," said that the
great advantage of marriage sis to be
fully known to some human beings just
as you are; to have your good impulses
understood and your bad traits recog-
nized and accepted for loves sake; to be
found out, and to be glad you are found
out.
1T is a BOOM" he continued, "to have
one in whose eyes one seems just what
one is. Among the causes of marital I'M
happiness" he said, none needs more
serious attention or is more potent for
evil than the recklessness with which the
tie is formed between people who can not
get away from each other, who for life
time must share each others fortunes
and share honor and disgrace alike.
when candidates for membership in
a club are proposed not only are the can
didates' characters and regulations in
quired into, but care is given to find out
l.
congeniality is important in the loose So
ciety of a club, how much more import
ant is it in the close relations of domestic
intercourse!
Marriage is, or ought to be, treaty
OF perfect peace between two sOvereigns,
man and woman. In many cases the
match is money affair, where two for
tunes are welded. In other instances it
is fortune and title that are welded. Not
alone in plutocratic society is this true,
but among the middle classes, as in the
cases of professional man. Patients
are few or clients are scarce, and the
effort is made to reach with one quick
step the position held by other and older
members of the profession.
The pre-nuptial acquaintance, Prof
Adler says, lis too often too short. Two
persons are united for life without any
knowledge of the real character, each OF
the other. In the higher grades of soci-
ETY. little real understanding exists be-
tween contracting parties. An acquaint-
ance is begun at feast and carried on
with no more enlightenment as to char
acter until the knowledge comes too late
"A parlor conversation, carried ON under
parlor conditions, is poorly fitted to give
to the young man and the young woman
the necessary insight into each others
character which will prepare them for
the struggle of existence.
Only among the angels could the per
feet marriage exist. The man who waits
for the perfect woman will die in a mo-
mastery. And if a perfect woman were
found to make n perfect match there
would be wanting the perfect man.
Marriage does not mean, love does not
mean, the union of two projections.
Love begins with admiration perhaps
of form or feature. Sterling love means
the admiration of the qualities of char
acter. 1t must be able to look down into
the depths of a nature and see truth and
goodness. Such love generates faith
Admiration is the foundation, marriage
is the superstructure, the growth. We
are to grow through marriage. We are
to keep that admiration of our partner
which was the beginning and is the basis
of love. A great secret of married hap
piness is to go wooing and winning. The
moment one thinks he has won, in that
moment he has lost.
''The effort must be made to keen, adj
miration. AS was said of freedom, only
he possesses who day by day wins il
anew. The observation of courtesy, ten,
der thoughtfulness and carefullness in
attire are as needful after marriage as
before. When we can't afford to be boor.
ish to strangers we can't afford to be
boorish to those who are nearest"