The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-24
THE LIME=KILM CLUB.
Brother Gardner Tells How He Would
QueIl Anarchy.
In CASE OF TROUBLE In THE CLUB
The ObsfruefiOnfsfs Would Find the
PreaidentWaIIOpin SFheirR Remains.

Gardner as he arose during the last
session of the Limekiln club eah am
a letter from de secretary of staff of Ar
kansaw akin me what steps would be
token in case half dozen members OF
dis club should sot out to filibuster an
obstruct an delay matters of vital inter
est to de kentry at large. Slch thing
has never Wit occurred in de history of
dis club, but it may cum. Indeed Ize
bin prepared fur its comm fur de last
two Vars. Oar am sartin signs of reck-
lessness in conneckshun wild sartin mem
bers which hev not bin blind to, an
perhaps it will be to de benefit of dose
member to outline my programme.
eff sartin members of dis club had
conspired to obstruct biZneSP an bring
de United States to de verge of de aw-
fullest staff of anarchy cher heard of, de
Rev. Penstock would be probably de
pusson appinted to take de initiative.
He would wait till we had got down de
order of bizness to de head of Sickness
an Distress, an den make moshun
dat de sum of seben dollars be voted to
Brudder Shutdown jackson, who almost
sawed his head off on de fam ~ close
line while runnin across de back yard
at night should refuse to entertain de
mOSQUu. ally "a Ills CA0p WIZ
can't dodge his own close line had bet
ter resign. When I refused to put de
moshun, de Rev Penstock would appeal
from de decishun; Giveadam Jones
would call fur de ayes an noes; Shindig
Watkins would move to amend; Samuel
Shin would turn out all de lamps on de
ally side, an Kurne1 Cahoots would
move to adjourn.
lin ia S1fnqShnn
in yo'r minds eye. Anarchy would rear
its hydra head an chaos an confusion
prevail Sir Isaac Walpole, yo'r vice
president, who hain't got mnch sand,
would begin to shake in his butes; Way
down Bebee, yo'r recordin secretary,
who has stiff neck, would drap down
behind his desk to git outer de way of
de splinters Lord CORVALLIS Skinner
horn, yo'r trusted treasurer, who was
once bit by a mad dog, would close de
doah of de safe on our cash receipts fur
de cav min, an varus members would
hustle fur de co'ners to keep Gl'ar of de
fallin plaster. Whar would I be, gem
len-whar would I be an what would
be my line of ackshun?
ga pusson by de name of Mr.. Cushin
has writ manual fur all legislative
bodies to go by softly continued the
president, as he wiped the perspiration
from his brow. "Dat manual are all
right up to de pint whar a conspiracy
begins. Den it am s'pected dat de pre-
sidin officer will peel off an sail in.
should peel! I should remove my collar,
necktie, coat an west, drap my suspen-
ders off my shoulders an rub my hands,
an I should steer by compass fur de
Rev. Penstoclz. He would try to grow
wings an fly, but he wouldn't hev time.
would pounce down on him an render
him cripple fur life inside of 20 Sec
onds.
"Den I should reach out wild one fut
fur Giveadam Jones an wild de odder
fut fur Shindig Watkins, an boat of 'em
would fall like autumn leaves befo' a
hurrycane. Samuel Shin an Kurnel
Cahoots would holler fur mercy, but
dar wouldn't be no mercy in my heart.
When I got threw wallopin an slam
min, DER hfeless remains could not be
identified by deir own wives. If dar
was any mo- obstructionists hangin
around arter had finished wild de pus-
sons named-any mo- filibusters who
war determined to hev deir own way or
ruin de kentry-I should begin agin an
make 'em wish dey had nebber bin bon
OdI N0 SGA1Sus Gull
tinued the president as his excited
breathing was heard all over the hall,
IAN it will be follered right threw in
case Of necessity. We gather here in de
interests of de kentry at large. While
a minority has rights a majority must
rule. If Mr.. Cushin s Manual will kiver
case, all right; if it won't, den de pre-
sidin officer must sail in. While I sin
ceroTv homo an frT1St cioI, Ia
occashum may arise, I'ze liftin dumb
bells an punchin de bag cherry day to be
prepared fur it in case it does cum.
Nov dat dis subject has rig up befo'
US hev few mo- words to add. has
bin panied to obsarve Emphatic apathy
on de part of Kurnel st. John Jones re-
gardin de bizness which brings us to-
gether each Saturday eavenin in de var
No matter how grave de crisis, de kur-
mel wedges hissef behind de stove an
chaws peanuts an is allus sound asleep
befo de meetin adjourns. De same
complaint of apathy-an de char assures
de meetin dat he knows what apathy
means-kin be urged agin Lord Corn
wallis johnson, Professor Layback
White, Gineral Bull Run Primrose an
seberal others. I want to say to 'em
right yere an now dat Paradise hall am
not lodgin house, an desc weekly meet
in s am not progressive euchre parties.
If dey can't brace up an take an interest
in de proceedings an help de rest of us
to hold de United States on level keel,
den dey had better stay away. OATS all
jest now, an we will purceed to attack
de reg'l lar bizness of de meetin. M.
Quad in Detroit Free Press.
Unprecedented Beat.
"Great heavensl The fiat is ON fire. - 1