Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-09-17
THE SPINNING WHEEL

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M. Lanessan, formerly governor general
in the Rappel on the doings of Ii Hung
Chang in Europe. After noting that
he had seen the formidable armies of the
European powers, and the immense IN
dJstrial and commercial activity of the
West, M. Lanessan declares he must
return to China with terrible secret
which he would not dare to whisper in
Pekin lest he should pay for it with his
head He says: "He takes back to
China. from his tour in the world and
from his attentive study of Europe, the
conviction that sooner or later his coun-
try will be devoured by the Western
nations, who. sincerely or hypocritically,
pretend to believe in peril from the
yellow race. He WILL for the future,
to get the nations of the West by the
ears, and to get them to tear each other
to pieces, with the object of delaying the
day when China will be beaten and
torn by them Paris Correspondence
London Standard.
Israel Zangwill relates that when the
notorious Lueger, whose platform was
the extinction of the Jews of Vienna,
poor Jew took bride of a couple of
forms to vote for him. God will frus-
trate him. said the piOus jew; 'mean-
time / have his money.
II suppose" said the school teachers
acquaintance, chat you are sorry to see
vacation coming to a close.
NO. was the reply. II think it has
lasted long enough to serve it's most inn
portant purpose.
'.You mean that the pupils and their
Instructors have had chance to re-
cuperate.'
mo; that is an unimportant incident.
What [ mean is that vacation gives
parents chance to realize that their
children are not the angels they always
assume them to be when they get into
trouble at school. Washington Star.
A minister, missing one of his congre-
CATION from church, called on him one
day to see what was the matter.
'Well, Mr. McNab, | was wondering
what was the matter that you were not
at church these few Sundays back"
'.Oh, l have been at Mr.. Dunlops
kirk
Minister-"Oh, l don't care for my
congregation going to other churches.
How would you like your sheep to go into
strange pastures?'
Mr.. McNab-'Oh, I wadna care
grain if they got better grass" lid
Bits.
Here is shooting story from the West
Highlands of Scotland. A party of gen
tlemen had just set out for a days sport
when Mr. B., the lessee, found occasion
to send the head keeper back with a mes
sage to the house. On the latter's return
he mentioned that the Miss BIS" had
told him to say so-and-so. That's wrong,
Donald. ''intrusively remarked glib
tongued youthful member of the party;
''you ought to say the Misses B. Don
aid made no reply, but he had his re-
venge later in the day. His censor was
an Indifferent shot, and having fired
twice at a covey of birds without caus-
ing any damage, he exclaimed, "A miss,
keeper at the top of his voice sit OUGHT to
be 'missesn WESTMINSTER Gazette.
joys the distinction of having helped to
nominate both the Republican and Dem
ocratic nominees. He voted for Nc
Kinley in the St. Louis convention, and
then went to Chicago "to see the fun
The convention being short of Alaska
far-off territory, and Bryan was his cam
didate.
you'll drive me into my grave with
your demands for money!" said old Sleek
''Then you'll have to give me f1O more
said Mrs. Sleek, because mourning
goods are very pensive."-Tid-Bits
No man, says the Westminster Ga
zette, with half an eye can have failed
to remark two facts as he takes his
walks abroad-the increase in the num-
Der of women with auburn or Titan
hued hair, and the decrease in the COM
pany of those who wear golden locks.
The craze for peroxide of hydrogen is
more than on the wane, but the demand
for henna is so great that while none.
pie of years ago. thousands of pounds
worth is now annually brought into the
country. Already the color has tray-
eled across the Atlantic. So generally
have the chorus girls and soubrettes
gone in for red hair that one of the
that nearly every women who has ap-
piled to him for an engagement has hair
of the ''sunset tint He believes. in
deed, that eff a new color isn't forth
coming, there won't be a golden-haired
woman in the profession in a years
time"
In the absence of the regular golf edi-
tor the following question from begin
ner was referred to the turf editor for an
answer: "In game of golf is it right
to fuzzle your put, or it is better to fet-
ter on the tee?'' The turf editor set his
teeth firmly, stared hard at the wall
in front of him few moments, and
wrote the following reply: I'm case a
player snaggles his iron it is permissible
for him to fuzzle his put, but better
plan would be for him to drop his guppy
into the pringle and snoodle it out with
niblick." Chicago Tribune.
THE SECRET COMBINATION.
Her heart she locked fast in her breast
Away from molestation
The lock was warranted the best,
A patent combination: