The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-10-10

am placed between two issues
And 1 don't know which Ike
II go down to the seashore
| shall have to pawn my bike
Chicago Record.
what figure do you like best in -.
quadrllle?" Yours, missy-FlIeganSee
Blaetter
Lord Nocount (proudly)-I can tro..
my descent from William the Cow
queror. Cynacus-You have hean
long time on the downward natb
Truth.
Mabel-And so he had the assurance
to demand that you marry him. Wha,
did you say? Ethel told him ,hs
supply was not equal to the demand
Truth.
The deaf man no longer needs
To walk the railroad ties:
The scorcher finds him on the street
And watts him to the skies.
indianapolis journal.
Cumso-Well, Johnny, how do Won
like your new teacher? Johnny--Not
much. She doesn't know anything To.
day she asked me who discovered
Amerlca.-Brooklyn Life.
Now, Eleanor, you weigh 1870 pounds
and the weight gauge on the hammock
registers 300 pounds. Where did that
other 10 pounds come fromT From
N-new York, think. Life.
81 see the Jacksons have put screens
all around their piazza" "Yes, and
have my opinion of people who are co
stingy that they won't even let flies SIT
on their porch. Chicago Record.
MAKE hay while the sun shines"
Is advice often needed
MAKE love while the moon shines"
Is oftener needed.
Washington Star.
Bloomer-That man Crafty, why. he
doesn't know enough to come in out
of the rain. Gloomer-Yes; but he
does know how to hold on to an UNI
brella.-Philadelphia North American.
Miss Keedick-Di6 you know that the
wealthy Ruth Stopa o'clock was married:
Miss Fosdlck-No; is she? Miss Kee-
dick-Yes. Miss Fosdlck-Now know
why people call it the almighty dollar.
Judge.
Teacher-Willie, you are to stay in
after school and do three extra exam.
pies. Willie-Whatl and get put out Of
the Scholars Union for workin' over
time? l will, don't think!-Cincinnat
Enquirer.
But what makes you think that
Dawber would make a success as a sigT
painter" He hasn't the least ide.
of punctuation, and If he ever spell:
word right it is only by accident
Boston Transcript
He told he. he had lost his heart,
As ne gazed in her lovely eyes;
But, alas. the cruel maid answered;
why don't you advertise"
-Up-to-Date.
Miss Fly is so clever; she can sci
women shirt waists that tit ever.
time Pooh. Miss Clipper is NOR
clever still; she can sell them shif
waists that don't fit.r-Chicago Rec
ord.
Nisitor-What makes you so ugly
Tommy? Don't you love your ne'
baby brother? Tommy (viciously)-
Well, did till somebody came in an
said he looked like me.-SomerVlh
Journal
She-How provoking this Isl ~
been waiting an hour for the tide to g
up. He-Yes; but you shouldn't g
impatient. Remember it's been OF
nearly all night.-Woonsocket Repor
er.
Smithson-Hello, Dobson, you al
getting stout, aren't you? Dobson
Well, l was getting stout, but since
bought my wheel have been tallil
of considerably ChroAic'
Telegraph.
l thought her mine-my rival watched
Us ride away, then he
Went straight and bought tandem al
or course that settled me.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She-Do you remember, JACK IN
day one year ago you offered me yo'
hand and heart and l cruelty reius'
your IL have thought better Oh
since. He-Umph, So have I've
York Herald.
Hobson-How do you stand on u
currency question, Dobson! Dooson
I'm awfully sorry, old man, ana
be glad to accommodate you pu' u
fact Is, I'm broke.-New York Cohiine
cial Advertiser.
so you enjoy belonging to tiie
Mems Club? "Oh, yes; it is deiig M u
What are some of the pleasure,
why, every fat man In the cruz u
covers at once that all the other men
the club are fatter than he Is. LOU
Vile Courier-Journal.
Don't you get awfully tired uoil
nothing all the timer asked the you'