davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-Fuddy-"They say that Robletou,
has married his cook" Duddy-"You,
nsau, l suppose, that she is his cook
now."-Boston Transcript.
-"Do you know that your confounded
dog banks all night?'' Eyes, / suppose;
he does. But don't worry about him. He
makes up for it by sleeping all day.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Two Disagreeable Characters.-''I
don't know anything more disagreeabIe
than a man who will not do what he,
can" ''Oh, he is not in it with the fell
low who insists on doing what he can't"
Truth.
There in the dust, footsore and
weary, he fell. How sad, how unjust"
the world cried, ito perish in the very
sight of home!" But the umpire re-
fused to reverse his Observation-Disclosures
Tribune.
-Private-"May 1 have a furlough
for day? We slaughter our hogs to-
morrow" Sergeant-"Allr right. If you
want to stay a day or two longer just
send me word-but wrap it up careful
~ r lleSellue bldIteF.
-"Jinkles is in love-" remarked n
young man. How do you know?" I've
seen him out bicycle riding four times
with the same girl "That doesn't
prove that he is in love with her" mo.
But they were on a tandem, and she
weighs at least $50 pounds. "-Washing-
ton Star.
-Miscalculated.-S cene-The bar par
Tor of Prince George, Brighton. Pipes
and beer all round. An old salt saying:
I've got riddle to ask you chaps. If
'erring and 'alf cost three farthings,
'ow many could you buy for siXpence? -
Profound silence and much putting of
pipes. Presently a voice from the corner:
Il say, Bill, did you say 'errings?" Eyes,
L said 'errings." "Drat it, I've been
a-reckoning of mackerel all this ERE
time BLACK and White
A Question of Etiquette.-"E Excuse
me, Mrs. Bowder," said the cook, but
would We moind if l had this address en-
graved on me cyard >" Not at all,
Bridget. This is your home, and if you
have a card it is perfectly proper to put
your address on it, THANK We,
ma'am," said Bridget. "An' Oh noticed
yes have printed on your guards, ma am,
At home THURSDAYS. Would it be proper
for me to how printed on moline, Thurs
Gaas otf?"-Harper' Bazaar.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22
NAVAL DISCIPLINE.
There Is Less of 1t Now Than In Times
Gone by.

There Is Less of 1t Now Than In Times
Gone by.
An American admiral tells story of
oldfashioneS discipline in the navy.
One day an officer on ship in service in
foreign waters gave an order to one of
the enlisted men. The sailor put his
arms behind his back and declined TO
obey the command. He was reported
to the commander without delay for in
subordination.
The commando, had been warned by
the surly conduct of other sailors that
the morale of the crew was not what it
ought to be. He resolved to make an
example of the mans disobedience, and
ordered him to be confined below with
out food until he was ready to obey the
command.
Forty-eight hours passed without
signs of surrender but on the third day,
darkness, Imprisonment and hunger
were irresistible. The mutineer begged
for mercy.
The crew were mustered on deck and
the insubordinate sailor was brought
up from the hold with gaunt face and
bent figure. The captain called upon
the officer whose command had not been
obeyed, to repeat the order in the pres
ence of the crew. This was done, and
after long pause the sailor with hang
dog look sulllily obeyed.
Repeat the ORDER" said the captain,
sternly, to the officer. at must be
obeyed cheerfully.'
The order was renewed and the NUT
ineer, completely conquered, dashed off
to execute it.
THAT will do" said the captain. ''Now
give him food, but bread and water only
for "a hours"
The sailor was taken below under
guard and allowed full rations of bread
and water. The next dav he was put
on unrestricted diet, and no further
notice was taken of his offense until
the end of week. when his health was
completely restored. Then the ships
crew was again mustered on deck The
sailors INSTRUMENTATION was briefly de-
scribed, and he was dismissed from the
ship in disgrace.
Rigorous discipline, did you say!"
exclaimed the admiral to the listener,
who had commented upon his story.
There ought to be more of it in the
American navy to-day. The service is
now conducted on sentimental princi-
pies, and men are forgetting how to
obey"
The criticism may have been too
harsh, but the declaration is not infre-
quently made that discipline is too lax
il. the United States navy. While the
White Squadron was recently anchored
at Southampton, previous to the Kiel
| celebration, return was made one day
of the number of men absent without
| leave from the four ships. 1t was 90 ont
of an aggregate force of l, 5OO.-Youth's
| Companion.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22

part on an exceeding great journey.
And saw in my dream, and behold, a
maiden fair and comely.
Her rament was white and glisten-
ing; her locks were as the beams of the
morning; and the brightness of her
eyes was as the shining of the stars in
the heavens.
And the king did approach her and
said: "Who art thou, o maiden, and
what is thy name?"
And she made answer and said: "My
name is Religion; and have come down
from Heaven to dwell among the chill
dren of men. And do teach them their
duty, and warn them to beware of evil
and l entreat them to turn from the
error of their ways and seek the way of
life" And she said: 'Lo. know thee,
stroy the children of men, whom l
would succor and save. Now, therefore,
do l entreat thee to put this evil far
from thee and turn unto the more excel
lent way"
And the saying displeased the king
greatly; and as he departed on his way
he was exceeding wroth.
And saw in my dream, and behold. a
maiden goodly to look upon. Her brow
was lofty and her eyes were flashing,
and her mouth did speak words of wis
dom and knowledge. And the king did
approach her and said: who art thou,
o maiden. and what is thy name?"
And she said: my name is Science,
and seek to know all mysteries and all
knowledge, whether of the heavens
above. or of the earth beneath, or of the
waters under the earth. And search
out hidden things, and the secret things
are revealed unto me. And 1 dwell
among the children of men to instruct
them, and to enlighten their minds,
and to lead them in the ways Of wisdom
and understanding"
And the king communed with him
self, saying: Can two walk together
except they be agreed? Behold, she
seeketh to enlighten mankind; and it
shall come to pass that when mankind
shall be enlightened my kingdom COM
eth to naught."
And he went his way. And / saw
in my dream. and behold, maiden
white and rudy and comely to look
dpon. And the king approached her
and said: who art thou, o maiden,
and what is thy name?"
And she made answer: my name is
Pharmacy, and dwell among the chill
dren of men TO heal them of their dis
eases. And seek to know the trees OF
the forest and the herbs of the field
from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop
that groweth upon the wall; yea, the
grass and the flower of the field are
known to me. And | seek to save the
children OF men from pain and sick
ness. so that they come to the grave in
n full age. like shock of corn cometh
in his season." And the king communed
with himself and said: Though we
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22

'On what ground" asked the court,
docs the petitioner base his demand
for changing his name?"
"On the ground" replied the petit
toner's attorney, that he was not con-
suited when his parents, who were
Methodists, gave him the name of John
Wesley. He now wishes to have il legal
ly changed to Roger Williams, so he
can join the Baptists quietly and with
out attracting undue attention. Chi
cago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22
TEMPERANCE.
MARRIAGE OF KING ALCOHOL
He Chose Wisely for His Bride Princess
Nicotine.

He Chose Wisely for His Bride Princess
Nicotine.
Now it came t., pass, that on a certain
day, being wearied with the tolls there
OF, l laid me down and slept; and as l
slept, thus l dreamed:
And saw in my dream, and behold a
goodly palace; and the walls thereof
were high, and the towers thereof were
lofty. Lights cleaned from the win
dows thereof, and heard a sound as it
were the noise of them who did revel
and make merry. And my heart was
moved to inquire the meaning of these
things. and l arose and did so unto the
palace.
And said unto one who stood near:
What meaneth this goodly palace, and
who is the lord thereof" And he said:
''Lo, this is the palace of King Alcohol.
The same is q great and mighty mon
arch, and there is none like him in all
the earth" And as he spoke, he led
me iuto the palace, and 1 stood in the
presence of the king.
And lifted mine eyes, and behold a
king of fierce countenance. and fearful
to look upon. Upon his head he did
wear a crown of flame, and in his hand
he did hold scepter, as it were of the
form of a fiery serpent. The throne
upon which he did sit was like ivory;
hut when I drew near I perceived that
it was made of the skulls and bones of
those whom he had destroyed. And l
bowed low before him, and said: 80
king, live forever! Lo, I have heard
that thou art a mighty monarch, and
the fame of thy greatness hath reached
mine ear. Therefore have l come to
look upon thee, and to listen to the
words of thy mouth" And the king
made answer, saying: Truly thou
hast said it, for | am indeed great and
powerful. Behold by my might have
! slain of the children of men, more
than all the kings of the whole world;
yet is my heart sad within me, for, like
Adam, there is found no helpmeet for
me-" And l said: "Lo, the land is full
Of maidens. fair and comcly, why,
therefore, should not the king arise
and go forth; and take unto himself
one whom he shall choose, and whom
mis- heart shall desire?"
And the saying pleased the king, and
taking with him divers of his servants,
ne arose and girded himself, and did de-
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22

Mr. Northside-Isn't it a wonder that
Bloomfield is not arrested for scorch-
ing along on his wheel without carry
ing bell?
Mr.. Southside-It isn't necessary.
The authorities consider that the loud
golf stockings he wears answer every
purpose.-Pittsburgh Chronicle
graph.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22

Two cups of milk, two cups of pre-
pared flour, three tablespoonful of
sugar, four eggs, very well beaten; a
pinch of salt, half a teaspoonful of Gin
namon. Beat the sugar into the yo'ks.
Add the milk, salt and seasoning; the
flour and whites alternately. Beat hard
for three minutes. Fry in very hot lard.
Eat hot with lemon sauce. - n. Y.
Ledger.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-10-22

Mr.. Jayson-Why do you permit our
Laura to receive the attentions of that
young Spooner? You certainly wouldn't
think of permitting her to marry him?
Mrs. Jayson-Oh, certainly not. But
the Luptons are just crazy to get him
for their Mabel.-Cleveland Leader.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17

alarm. All was hustle and excitement
about the shed at such moment. Fore
man Grant shouted his orders in shrill
voice as all were slipping on their boots,
rubber coats and fire hats.
willie and Jake, grab the axes!
Davy and Jonas take the hooks!
Charlie, grab the roof rope" he would
shout.
The goats came Gathering out, and
the fire brigade was off with bang,
the gong on the front of the wagon
changing loudly. The company's mas
cot, a foX-terrier dog, ran, barking,
ahead. Around the corner they would
speed to the house of engine No. 35,
often arriving there before the regular
company had started out. They re.
manned at the fire house ready to re-
spond to any alarm that might come in
while engine No. 35 was away.
Since school began the young fire.
men have taken a vacation, but next
summer they will organize again. The
New York World prints an interesting
picture of their fire patrol wagon max
ing a run.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
A HINT from Massachusetts.

The state highway commission are
enforcing a point which has been
known for thousands of years-cer.
tainly as long as there have been roads
anywhere-that steep grades should
be avoided whenever they can be; in
fact, that the sleeper the grade the
greater the wash from rains and the
costlier the road TO maintain. "Ev
erybody knows that" you say. Ger
tainly, but where is the city or town
with billy highways that reduces
those hills to minimum? 1t would
he hard to find. Grading costs a lit,
tie money, and to save this money,
town and city authorities spend other
money annually for all time to kee2
their waterwashed highways in re-
pair 1t is simply a case of penny
wise and pound foolish.-Farm and
Home. ...,.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17

by hedge, the opening through which
is thanked at one side by a tree, anu
on the other by huge bowider, both
objects which are entirely harmonious
with the landscape and with nature
generally-something that cannot be
said of all the bounds to driveway en-
frances that one sees. If one has Il
name for his place, it can very appro-
priately be cut upon the outer face of
the bowlder. The same arrangement
could be used very effectively for a
footpath entrance. In this case, the
bowlder may not occupy so much
ground space, but have an equal height
with the bowlder suited for carriage
entrance.-American Agriculturist i
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17

The little word "again" once threw
4 large assembly into fits of laughter.
1t was at a public meeting in New York.
One of the speakers, Rev. Mr.. R, had
the misfortune, when he tried to take
his seat to miss his chair, and come
down at full length ON the PLATFORM
The accident caused not little subdued
mirth. When at last it came his turn
to speak the presiding officer intro
duced him in these words: "Rev. MIR.
R will again take the floor" The
reverend gentleman never met with so
enthusiastic reception as greeted the
announcement
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
FIELD DIAGRAM FOR SMALL GOLF.

FIELD DIAGRAM FOR SMALL GOLF.
when they gain the ball, they fail to
place it in O, they lose the winning
stroke, and the player on the opposite
side nearest whom the ball is gains the
mastery of the ball.
The ball must never be touched after
il is driven until it is fully stopped
If it is interfered with while in mo-
ton the last player may repeat his
shot.
If the ball passes beyond the limits
of the course at any time it is next
played from the square or circle nearest
the point where it left the ground.
Any number less than eight appor-
tons two or more squares or circles to
each player, as may &c necessary. The
game can be played by an odd number
by proper allotment of squares.
Three games constitute an ordinary
set on a large ground, five on a smaller
one. The fact that it can he played on
rough ground. without the even lawn
necessary for croquet and tennis, is of
Experimentation Globe.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
BOYS FIRE DEPARTMENT.
Brooklyn Youngsters Have Lots of Fun
with a Toy Patrol Wagon.

Brooklyn Youngsters Have Lots of Fun
with "a Toy Patrol Wagon.
Several Brooklyn boys have organized
a fire department of their own. The
ages of the little firemen range from IL
to Is years, Ernest Grant, the foreman
and organizer of the company, being the
oldest. They have complete patrol
outfit, consisting of two goats seven
hands high in their bare hoofs, one reg
ularly constructed patrol wagon OF
small size made to fit the goats, one fire
eXtinguisher improvised from a tin
water-cooler and a half-inch rubber
tube, one scaling ladder and all the APP
pliances found among the equipment of
a modern patrol companys headquar-
ters. The uniforms are blue overalls
and blouses, with rubber boots, rubber
coats, fatigue caps and gaudy red fire
hats of regulation block.
The goats names are Tom and Bill,
and they have been trained by the boys
until there is not horse in all the regu-
lar department which responds more
faithfully and quickly to the clang OF
the alarm gong than do Tom and Bill.
With them the boys have made a quick
hitch" record of ten seconds. No such
sleek goats were ever seen on the rock
ribbed hills of Shantytown. Tom is a
wiry-haired maltese and Bill boasts a
brindled yellow complexion.
The boys live near the house of engine
company No. So, and all summer long
each of the lads was prompt at roll call
at eight o'clock every morning. Their
names were duly registered at lunch
time All fire alarms and The time they
were sounded were entered in the blot
ter with red ink. In fact, everything
about the place was conducted just as
it is in regular patrol house. All day
the goats stood in their stalls back of
the lilliputian patrol wagon ready to
dart out and place themselves under
the drop harness at the sound of an
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
AMUSING SEA DOG.
This Canine Chews Tobacco and Blows
Out a Match.

Out a Match.
Scrip is the name given a remark
able dog that follows the fortunes of the
Neptune liner Ohio, on account of the
tenacious hold on life he has shown. he
having fallen from the ship into mid
ocean no less than three times, says the
New York Journal. He is a cross be-
tween a Bedlington and Skye terrier
and does many things that other dogs
do not do.
He will eat raw potatoes ravenously,
but will not touch meat The sailors
have taught him to chew tobacco, and
he has developed taste for whisky and
water, under the influence of which he
does many foolish things and shows a
bad temper.
He will blow out lighted matches
He has one trick of standing on his
hind legs and by a little twist throw.
ing into the air and thence into his
mouth any article placed on his nose.
His brightest accomplishment is to
select at word of command a given coin
out of collection composed of half,
penny, penny, siXpence. shilling and
half-crown, which are laid on the floor
of the captains cabin, Grip being sent
below, with the command: Bring me
the shilling" or whatever it nav be
that is asked for.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
The Game of silence.

This the way to play the game of
"Silei e." Numbers are drawn from
. bas ! and the person drawing TIE
highe is constituted Judge" He or
she asst then sit solemnly before a
semi-I rcle of players and cry: Isl
lence Then everybody must begin
to tall as rapidly and foolishly as pos
sible. The judge gravely observes
themE1 the eloquence of one becomes
exhau FED, if the judge laughs or even
smiles that person is denounced and
must ps forfeit. A successor is then
chosen% ne person failing to keep up
with tt Rthers in jibing being first
choice the vacant judgeship. The
judge h ne right to detect the per-
son fail rand the others the right to
call for if they detect the Judge in
either D4ugh or smile After such an
interruption "Silence" is again called,
and he game proceeds as before.
Somd lines the judge cannot help smil-
ing, ut he is instantly accused and re-
placer This game should not last more
than 70 minutes, as it is apt to be
noisy; }but if the participants are witty
and good-natured, and try to make
each other laugh, it is very pleasant
and aFnusing.-Ladies' Home Journal
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17

THERE is more Catarrh in this section of
the country than all other diseases put to-
gether, and until the last few years was sup
posed to be incurable. For great many
years doctors pronounced it a local disease,
and prescribed local remedies, and by con,
stanNy failing to cure with local treatment,
pronounced it incurable. Science has proven
catarrh to be constitutional disease, and
therefore requires constitutional treatment.
Hall S Catarrh Cure manufactured by f. j.
Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only
constitutional cure on the market 1t is
taken internally in doses from 10 drops to a
teaspoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system. They
offer one hundred dollars for any case it
fails to cure. Send for circulars and testi-
monials. Address F. j. CHENEY & Co., To
ledo, o. Sold by Druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
LIVELY GOLF GAME.
Requires Little Room and Is Played by
Sides from One to Four.

Sides from One to Four.
More than score of years ago square
and circle or small golf was popular
outdoor game in England. 1t has, how
ever. never been played in this country.
The game has some of the character
istics of golf, and offers an excellent
opportunity for training to mastery
of the latter favorite pastime. Not the
least of its advantages is found in the
fact that. like golf, it admits of varia-
ton in the area of the ground played
over. while a smooth surface is not es-
sential.
Whatever the size of the ground de-
termined, it must be laid out as nearly
as possible in a square. The diagram
shows the method used in marking the
ground.
For example, the space chosen might
be ten yards square. In that event, the
center circle would be about d half yard
in diameter, the others Of the same size.
Each of the squares would be one yard
square. In any other extent of playing
surface the relative area of the parts
would be the same.
Each of the players must be equipped
with mallet, as in croquet, hockey
stick or golf stick There is no neces-
sity for uniformity among the players.
One may prefer the mallet, another Il
curved stick.
There is one ball only, which must be
hard and about the size of the regula-
ton baseball.
The number of players may be any
nation of the game as played by the
last named team will be easier.
The eight are divided into two sides
of four each. The in" side then occr-
pies the circles, \, 3, c and d, the out"
side taking the four squares.
When all are in position the player at
A strikes the ball toward b. trying 10
drive it within the circle. If he is sue
cSssful in this attempt, the player at p,
in his turn, drives the ball toward c.
The player at c, if the shot be accurate,
sends the ball to d, if possible. The
player at d must then drive it to 0. II
this is done, the game is won. In the
following games the positions of the
two sides are reversed.
If the player at a fails in his shot
the player at has the ball, and. taking
it to his square. drives it.toward 2. If
the ball gains that square, the out
side continues with it, endeavoring to
send it from square to square until the
center is reached, when the game is
won by that side.
The rule is that whenever a player
fails in shot, the player of the oppo-
site side, whose location is nearest the
balls stopping place, gains possession
of the ball for the next shot
The most important positions are
those of the player<at 4 and d, since if,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
A Coilie's Faithfulness.

A rge black collie dog prowls up
and IN -iseee nj, lat Camden sta
tio|n outside the gates, watching every
train that arrives and departs. AS
SOON as he sees train he makes for
th& baggage car and mounts the plat
for IN. 1t is said that he came in on a
Royal Blue train about two months
ago, and that ever since that time he
has been waiting for the same baggage
car to come back When it does the
people around the station say it will be
the last of dog, for when he has found
the car he will, it is believed, have
found his master.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17

A hog that was no bigger than 4 house
rat would hardly seem Ike much of
hog, would IL? Yet, in Australia there
is a breed of pigmy pigs no bigger than
that. They are like the larger breeds
in every respect, except in the size of
their squeals and their appctites. They
are said, too, to be quite as unclean in
their habits as are those with which we
are familiar. .-..
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-12-17
What He Would Deny Himself. --.zss

In Camden, Me-, Sunday-school a
teacher was endeavoring to impress
upon her scholars the need of practic-
ing self-denial and requested each one
to agree to deny himself something.
What will you give up, Walter?" was
asked of one urchin, who had been
quietly listening with a very grave
face. The answer came: Lying, l
fruess"