The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1896-04-24
WIDOWERS,

This topic l have left severely alone
in past pencilings-indeed, know very
little about widowers. never had a
widower for a lover in my younger
years. | suppose if had should not
now be up next to head in the Sidney
household, for they say widowers are
irresistible. | can't remember ever
seeing widower in my young years;
women i'm those days must have thought
best to live on and not let new hand
have chance to manage their affairs
at all events they did this, SO far as
my observation extended. | would be
10th to take up so fascinating subject
now, but one of them has appealed to
me, and wants to know my views about
4 widower forty years old, in good
health and well off, marrying again
while he has a large family. Should
he or should he not?
| | have been trying to do little
thinking for the widowers since this
request reached me- The marriage
ceremony was not intended to stand
after the pair are separated by death,
and | can see no reason why man who
has been so unfortunate as to lose his
wife has not all the liberty to marry
again that he had to marry the first
time But the children must be con-
sidered; the first wife has this much
right i'm that home, even after death,
that her children shall he well cared
for She probably lost her life in bring
ing a large family into the world, for
child-bearing and unceasing motherly
duties, the sleepless nights and restless
days which are hers, has weakened and
undermined the constitution of many
! wife and sent her to premature grave.
The children belong to the father as
as well as to the mother, and when she
has gone beyond the reach of minister
ing to them double duty rests upon
him. He needs wife, and if he can
find good woman who is willing to
be a good mother to his children, and
help him train and instruct them into
honorable usefulness, he would be Ger
tainly justitiable in doing so. But
there is the rub-not many women in
these days want to help man to work.
1t is too much growing to be looked
upon as the duty of the husband and
the hired girl to bear the burdens of
the family. If Il man has money, he
NAV find no trouble with her after the
knot is tied. If there is any man in
the wide world who needs higher than
mortal wisdom to direct his steps, it is
the widower, with large family of
children, in the pursuit Of a wife.
He dare not marry for love alone,
for strange to record, men are so con-
stituted they fall i'm love just as readi
ly, if not more SO, with trifing, giddy
young creatures as with substantial,
elevating women. He needs about all
the sterling virtues in the woman who
is to restore his broken fireside to
something of its oltl-time comfort and
cheerfulness This has been done, and
may be again. Abraham Lincoln at
tributed much of his success, if not all
to the good principles and lessons of
usefulness instilled by his step-mother,
and his first earnings were devoted to
lifting her above want as a reward for
her devotion to him i'm his young, way
ward days.
Step mothers and second wives gen
orally are standing on higher plane
than formerly, and better understand
the duties that developed upon them.
We do not hear so many tales of their
cruelty to children and evident dislike
of the memory Of the deported whose
places they are filling. | have ceen a
number of houses where the second
wife reigns, the picture of the first wife
upon the wall, works of her skill about
the rooms. and heard them speak of
tIsir predecessors in the most natural
and friendly spirit possible. This is
as it should be- There is NJ taint of
disgrace in Il SECOND marriage, then
why should the name of the departed
lie Stunned? \ man should not fear
to speak of the mother of his children
i'm the presence of his new wife, and if
she is the woman she should be he will
not.
1t takes nothing from woman's po-
sition or happiness to know she was
not the first wife Indeed. second wives
es have the reputation of getting the
kindest and most lover-live attention
and one is almost tempted to think, if
men could have their second wives first
a rreat many women would be having
better time of it than they are. They
take their first wives as matter OF
course. She often has to work and
drudge INCREASINGLY with little appar
cntapprecirtion other services; but, after