davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
LAUGHTER.

Has 1t Evoluted From the Brutal Vel
Over Tortured Enemy?
Just as the hoof of the horse is the
remnant of an original five toes, just q
the pineal gland in man is now said tc
be the survival OF a prehistoric eye on
the top of the head, SO, perhaps, this
levity in regard to particular ailments
TN otnersJ may be the descendant OF an
aboriginal ferocity in man. It is well
known theory that what we call humor
arose from the same source; that the
first human laugh that ever woke the
astonished echoes of gloomy primeval
forests was not an expression of mirth,
but exu1tation over the misery of a
tortured enemy.
There is to this day something ter
rible in laughter. The laugh of madness
or of cruelty is sound more awful than
that Of the bitterest lamentations.
By means of that strange phonograph
that we call literature we can listen
even now to the laughter Of the dead,
to the hearty outlaws or cynical litter
ings Of generation after generation of
bygone men and women, and if we are
curious in such matters we can probe
into the nature of the changes that have
passed over the fashion of mems humor.
For it has been said, not without the
support Of weighty cumulative evidence,
that, as we penetrate further into the
past, we find the sense of humor de-
pending always more obviously and
solely upon the enjoyment of the pain,
misfortune, modification or embarrass-
ment of others. The sense of superiority
was the sense Of humor in our ancestors
or, in other words, vanity lay at the
root Of this, as Of most other attributes
Of our bumptious speciesl
Putting ear to our phonograph, we
catch the echoes of a strange and merry
tumult; boisterous, cruel, often brutal,
yet with here and there tender cadence
from some solitary voice; and presently |
this lonely note grows stronger and |
sweeter, as we travel slowly toward our |
time, until at length, through all the |
merriment, we can hear the soft under
murmur Of pity. Does the picture not |
seize the imagination-the long laughter
of the ages which begins in cruelty and |
ends in love?-Westminste Review.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
TALLYiNc PINEAPPCES
Quick Work Done In Handling the Fruit
on the New York Wharf.

Quick Work Done In Handling the Fruit
on the New York Wharf.
The pineapple season lasts from about
March / to about Aug. /. New York
gets pineapples from the Florida keys,
from the. West Indies and from the Ba-
hamas. Some come in steamers, some
in sailing vessels. Pineapples from Ha-
vana by steamer are brought in barrels
and crates. Pineapples brought in sail
ing vessels are brought mostly in bulk
NOT thrown in loosely, however, but
snugly slowed, SO that as many as pos
sible may be got into vessel.
On the wharfs here pineapples
brought in bulk are handled with great
celerity. Men in the hold of the vessel
fill bushel baskets with them and hand
the baskets up on deck, where they are
passed along and set up on the string
piece Of the wharf. The trucks in which
they are to be carted away are backed
down handy. A box Of suitable height,
and which is as long as the truck is
wide, is placed at the end of the truck.
A man standing near ON the wharf lifts
the baskets from the stringpiece and
sets them up on this box. Two men
stand at the box, each with a basket Of
pineapples in front Of him, to count the
pines and throw them into the truck,
which has racks at the sides; lengths Of
board are placed across the end as the
load rises. Two men stand in the truck
to level the fruit as it comes to them.
The two counters are experts, and they
work with great rapidity and steadiness,
keeping pineapples going all the time.
Each man picks up two pineapples at a
time, one with each hand, and gives
them toss into the truck, both men
counting as they go along, one after an
other, tone, two, three, "s'four,"
''fve," and SO on up, each count mean
ing two pineapples. When they strike
zone hundred" the tallyman makes a
straight chalk mark on the end of the
truck; that stands for 200 pineapples.
While he is making the chalk mark the
other counter keeps right on, and he may
have got up to ''two" or three" again,
for it takes second or two to make the
chalk mark, but by that time the tally
man is at it again Ginning in with
"four," and away they go together
again, counting up rapidly toward an
other hundred. If man OH the load
finds specked pine, he drops it over
the side of the truck into a basket that
stands there, and says: Zone OUT" The
tallyman tosses in one without count
ing, to keep the count coed.
As fast as the counters empty the
baskets they push them off the box, and
the man at the stringpiece sets up full
one in its place and the counters keep
the pineapples going without cessation.
At the fifth hundred the tallyman makes
| mark diagonally across the four he
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
Farseeing scotchwoman.

It would probably take many genera
tions of undesired and undesirable ad-
versity to train Americans into the far
seeing thriftiness of the Scotch. An il
lustration Of this thrift is contained in
the story of Scotchwoman who had
been promised present of a new bon
net by lady. Before she made the
purchase, the lady called and asked the
good woman:
''Would you rather have felt or a
straw bonnet, Mrs. Wilson?''
"Weel," said Mrs. Wilson, II think
I'll TAX strae ane. It'll maybe be a
mouthfu' to the COO when I'm done WI
itp'-Youth's Companion.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
DIRECTORY OF LODGES.
M SONIC LODGE.

staunton Lodge No. 10, A. F. and "A. NJ, meets
every second and last Friday night in each
month"; in Masonic Temple, Main street. Jas.
NJ. Lickliter,W NJ; B. A. Eskridge, Sec'y.
UNION ROYAL ARCH CHAPTER.
No. q meet third Friday in every month, In
Masonic Temple, ON Main street. W. w. Nc
Guffin. High Priest A. A. Eskridge, Sec'y.
ODD FELLOWS LODGE;
Staunton Lodge, No. As, l. 0. o. F. meets
cry Thursday night in Odd Fellows Hall, owe
Wayt's drug store, on Main street. John q
Fretwen Noble Grand; C. A. Grafton, Sec
KNIGHTS OF HoNoB LODGE.
Staupton Lodge. No. 756, Kr r-shts of Honor
meets every first a.;d third Tuesday in each
month, in Pythian Hall, Main ST. eet W. L.
Olivier. Dictator; W. A. Burnett, Recorder.
49,. MOUNTAIN CITY LODGE.
I no. uA fO,G. T., meets every Friday night
II their lodge room ovei- Wayt's drug store on
Main street. a. 9. woodhouse, Cn1ef TesS,plar
=. 3. Kennedy. sec'y.
DISTRICT LoDaE.
No. z. ]. o. g. T., meets every three months
G: G. Shipplett. D. c. t.; 8. H. Bauserman
ROYAL ARCANuM.
Augusta Council, No. 400, Royal Arcanum
meets every second and fourth Tuesday in the
month, at Pythian Hall, Main street. WV
Robertson, Regent; Jos. B. Woodward, Sec
retary.
SONS OF TEMPERANCE
" A
meets every Monday night at Odd Fellows
all. W. A. Rapp. Worthy Patriarch; John
B. Cofrelt Sec'y.
UNIFORMED RANK, KNIGHTS CT
PYTHIAS.
E. B. Stuart Division, No. 10, meets second
and fourth Mondays each month at Pythian
Hall. Sir Knight Captain, F. B. Berkley; 8
Knight Recorder, s. H. Rosenbaum.
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAs.
Valley Lodge, No. IS, K. Of p, meets every
Monday night at Castle Hall, ON West Main
street, over DR.. wayt's drug store. c. Ham
mond, Chancellor Commander; Albes
Keeper Of Records and Seal.
KNIGHT TEMPIARs.
staunton Commandery, No. 8, Knights Tenn
plar, meets first Friday night In every month
in Masonic Temple, on Main street. w.B.
McChesney, Eminent Commander; A. A. K
ridge, Recorder.
ONEIDA TRIBE, NO. So, M,
Meets In their w1gwam, in Valz Building
every Wednesday at 9Th run 3Oth breath
setting Of the sun. ]. d. Anthony, sacheH-
James W. Blackburn, chief of records. III
visiting brothers welcome.
AMERICAN LEGION OF HONOR.
Valley Council No. 1876 meets on the first and
third Mondays in each month. Commando
AS. Woodhouse; secretary, DR.. J. M. Hange
collector. Isaac G. Morton, Jr.
CATHOLIC HIBERNIAN BENEFICIAL =
SOCIETY.
Meets first Sunday in every month In tbeir
hall on the church lot. M. T. B presi-
dent; J. J. Kfgalen, first ice-president; ].
Murphy, second ce-president; d.. O'Connell
recording secretary.
''sTONEwALL, BRIGADE BAND.
| Band meets every Monday and Thursday
orchestra, every Wednesday, at p. m. in City
Hall. Mr.. J. NJ. Brereton, director
J. A. Armentrout, president, and G. Harry
Ha1nes secretary.
CHAMBEr OF COMMERCE.
Monthly meetings, Fourth Tuesday In the
month at7:30 o'clock. Room n City Fa, build
wpresz
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19

mas already made, in the commonly
used method CT tallying freight; but
these five marks here stand for 1000
pineapplcs On a double truck there are
usually carried from 4,50O to $500
pineapples; on a single truck, from
2, 600 to 3,50O.-New York Sun.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19

LOVE LETTER ON BR1cK.-The
Oldest love letter in the world is in the
British Museum. It is a proposal of
marriage for the hand of an Egyptian
Princess. and it was made $500 wears
ago. It is in the form OF an inscribed
brick, and is therefore not only the
Oldest but the most substantial love
letter in existence.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
IT You viii Use little Reasoning

and not be Influenced by the claim
that catarrh is blood disease, you
can easily prove that catarrh is eli
matte. Have you not the severest ca.
tarrhal attacks during winter and
spring, and have you but little evil
dence OF catarrh during the snmmerg
Yes. Well, this proves it is a climatic
disorder, irfaming the membrane of
the nasal passages. 1t is waste of
time and money to invest in blood
remedies: The proper treatment is q
local application, and the most prompt
TO cure Is that popular remedy Ely's
Cream Balm.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
An Old Hand.

Bob-How much is it customary to
give the minister when he marries youi
Ben-Oh, I generally give him SO.
.-f onkers Statesman.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19

DR.. Jameson and his associate in
leadership in the Transvaal raid were
convicted July 2Sth, in London, and
sentenced to terms of prisonment
varying from five to fifteen months.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19

Mrs. Lillian Reynolds has brought
suit for the annulrnent of the marriage
with Guy Reynolds, and for $50, ,OOO
damages. He has another wife living
and an action for bigamy may result.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
BURIAL OF POPE Plus TX.
The Body Walled Up In Temporaz
Tomb Until 1t Is Put In the Crypt.

The Body walled Up In q Temporary
Tomb Until It Is Put In the Crypt.
Few saw the scene which followed
when the good pope's body had lain
four DAYS in state and was then placed
in its coffin at night, to be hoisted high
and swung noiselessly into the tempo
rary tomb above the small door on the
east side-that is, to the left of the
Chapel Of the Choir. 1t was for long
time the custom that each pope should
lie there until his successor died, when
his bodyswas removed to the monument
oaepar6d for it in the meantime, and
the pope just dead was laid in the same
pIaoa -
The cbufcl1 was almost dark, and
ofiivin the Chanel az the 6Shair and that
of the Holy Sacrament. which are eps
nosite each other. 4 number Of biz wax
candles shed a yellow lieht. n the
niche over the door a maaoi Ivna stilI u
work. with a tallow dip. clearly visible
from below. The triple coffins stood be-
fore the altar in the Chanel of the Choir.
Onnosite. where the body still Law, the
Noble onards and the Swissaguards, in
their breastplates. kent watch with
drawn swords and halberds,
The Noble enards carried the bier on
their shoulders in solemn procession,
with chanting choir. robed bishops and
trarn;pg soldiers. round nv the Confess
sion and iacxoss the church and lifted
the bodv into the coffin. The pope had
beeS verv mnch beloved by all who were
near him and more than one gray
haired nrelate shed tears of genuine
grief that night.
. In the coffin. in accordance with an
ancient cnstom. a bag was placed con-
ta;n;no e3 medals one of gold. one of
silver and one OF bronze Tor eacn OF the
81 years during which rope flus hao
reigned, and history OF the pontlh-
cate, written ON parchment, was also
deposited at the feet OF the body.
When the leaden coffin was soldered,
six seals were placed upon 1t, flve by
cardinals and one by the archlvlst OF the
Chapter OF st. Peters. During the
whole ceremony the prothonotary apos-
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
$tau1ttott $peftator.
RATES OF ApvER Rrlslmc.

I AdveYtisements are inserted al the rata of
Tx cents per line, for the first, and 6X cents
for each subsequent Insertion W
Local Notices are inserted at the rate Of -
| cents per line for the first, and 10 cent6 for
| each subsequent insertion.
Business Notices are inserted at the rate OF
| 15 cents for the first and cents for each sub
seQuent Insertion.
A liberal discount will be made on all orders
for g. 6, or 12months. r.'~--
Obituaries, Announcements of Candidates
Tor ONCE, and all communications OF person
al or private character, will be charged for an
advertisements.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19

Cupid breaks his
bow at the sight of
a face full of pi1n-
! pies and blotches.
H o1low che e ks,
sunken eyes, and a
sallow complexion
will defy his best
Intentions. Beauty
IS more than skin
deep. The skin is
merely the surface
on which is written
in plain characters
the condition of the
body. The skin is
t1ot n fbsnn h- :+.zJr
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19

Gambling eggs is the one infallible
way to test them. This is done in a
dark room with candle, gas or electric
light. When the egg is held close to the
light, if fresh it will appear pinkish
yellow, and if otherwise it will be dot
ted with opaque spots or be entirely dark.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19

By doing good with his money .
man, as it were, stamps the image OF
God upon it and makes it pass current
for the merchandise Of heaven.-Rut-
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
A Mistake.

Mistake.
'"They tell me that Austin made his
first start in life as messenger boy 2"
'Impossible! No messenger boy ever
made !"-Detroit Free Press.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-08-19
Your Purpose in Lire.

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord,
Lord. shall enter into the Kingdom OF heaven
Matthew, vii, II.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

Can in large measure, win both To the merchant pro-
essonal man. skilled laborer and all who want public pat
ronage will bring business its columns made
use Of Alright To the young DID, who read its well filled
pages of entertaining reading matter it will bring education
enlightenment and refinement
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07
The Work Of the Samaritan.

We wrote local few days ago,
on information we thought reliable,
giving the good "Samaritans' of
our city blessing, for taking the
case of the sick man, McKamie, in
hand and nursing as well as feeding
him.
The young man saw the paper
aud sent for US to come to see
him. The reporter found him pro-
ped up in bed, with Oscar Madden
by his side, His aud Maddens tales
OF the Samaritan work is as follows,
Mr.. McKamie was taken down
some five weeks ago, with hernia.
He sent for Doctor Wisdom and he
in company with two or three
other doctors, operated on him
since which time he has been mend
ing slowly, and is now in a fair way
to recover, II he is not allowed to
starve to death. Mr.. Madden has
been with him night and day, since
the operation, and he has made
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

several solicitations for food for
himself and young man, since he has
been sick. The bed and bedding was
furnished by Mr., Madden and he
pays the rent of the room they
occupy. McKamie says he wishes
to acknowledge the receipt OF one
meal from Mrs. Bemis, one from
Mrs. ]. ]. Kress, two meals from a
Mrs. Johnson, one ham and some
oat meal from Mrs. Carmichael
and attention from Mrs. Milwee,
also two meals from Mrs. S. M.
Roberts, He says DR., Wisdom gives
him every attention, and the
medicine is furnished by the Smith
Drug Company, to be paid for by
some of his young friends. He is
proud of the attention he has re-
ceived but he and Mr., Madden fear
that If the people think the good
Samaritans are watching after his
welfare, he will be allowed to suffer,
Mr., Kamie is a nice young man,
stout and able bodied, and can
make his way in the world, but
Just now is down on his back, and it
will take about two weeks nursing
to get him up, and then he will be
able to take care of himself
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07
JOB WORK !!

The "Texarkanan' Job Office is not exceled in
the great West All kinds Of work executed on short
notice. and satisfaction guaranteed in every instance
Office up stairs in the Gardner brick building, 217
East Broad Street
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07
3-.y.9 TTyAEy,AEIAN
Fa. wcOTTbE, City Ad,tol.
WEST SIDE COUNCIL.
Alderman c. c, Burke Wants
his Office Back.
Bills, Allowed, and Committees Ap-
pointed to Look after Various
Matters.

luC lck uiai hSSb "
Side council was had last night,
with Mayor Pro TEN Beard in the
seat and r. l.. Burke secretary and
Marshal Stanley Edwards, as aid.
The aldermen present were Nc
Cartney, Kelly, Chic, Kizer, Estes,
Mcdowell and Walker.
The minutes of previous meetings
we're read and adopted.
The Treasurer's report for Novem-
Der was read and approved, but the
reports of the other officers having
not been checked over by the
auditing commit e, were passed
uutil next meeting.
It was ordered that the fund
borrowed from the Improvement
fund be transferred back to tn
bridge and street fund.
The Texas 4 Pacific was given
permission to withdraw night
watchman from Oak street pro-
vided they maintain an arc light
at this crossing
A motion was made to reconsider
the action taken declaring the
aldermans position held by DR.. G.
c. Burk vacant as void, as the
doctor had returned and wanted his
revolving seat again. Itwas decided
to look up the law on this subject
before action was taken,
1t was ordered that City Engineer
Stewart open up the street west
Of Rose Hill, also that Alderman
Bill Kelley investigate the matter
of opening up streets south OF the
cemetery, running east and west.
Chic, Beard and Kizer were ap-
pointed a committee to examine
into the matter for sewerage pur-
pose.
Alderman Paup from the East
side succeeded in having COM
mittee appointed from the board to
confer with the East side relative
to a better fire protection and a
concerted action in the matter.
Kizer, Walker and Kelley were
appointed on this committee. With
Mayor Pro TEN Beard added.
The following bills were then
allowed:
T. H. Estes, sundries, $17.00; ],
G. Watts, salary and vouchers
$61 1885, Ben Davis, scavenger anc
street work, $4,000; J. N, Crenshaw
street work, $6.25; Texarkana
Livery Co., hauling hose carts
$4,000; P, S, Ramsuer, suppliess, 5(
cents; f. W. Offenhauser, insurance
$4,000; Morning Call, A.34; R, L.
Burke, salary, $25.OO; Ed Hanglin
plumbing, $500; ]. W, Stanfeld,
supplies, 80 cents. 7. S. Edwards,
salary and sundries, $7480; D. S.
Edwards, salary, $50; Texarkana
Gas & Electric Light Company, gas
and electric lights, $S6;7O; W. M.
Jeter, work, $3.50,
The council then adjourned until
next Monday night, to meet again
for the purpose of hearing com.
mittee report on sewerage and fire
department.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

AFTER THE OPERA, we make spec
ial arrangements for the ladies'.
Oysters served in any style. Re-
member this is the only place fitted
up specially for ladies,
WILLIS & BUEL,
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

Patronize push and enterprise
Huddleston Bros. always keep the
best of fresh meats, etc, and
promptly deliver same to all parts
of the CITY.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

Give the best of its kind when you
give presents. Sharpe & Brewer
have the only frst-class stock of
Gentlemen's Furnishings in the
city. 1877
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

Why is it2 The world knows a
good thing when it sees it, that is
why we have such a good trade on
clothing this season. See our $40
suits. SHARPE & BREWER.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07
STATE OF Ono, CITY OF TOLEDO,
LunAS COUNTY.

IUOAs OOUNI1s
Frank j, Cheney makes oath that
he is the senior partner of the firm
of Il, j. Cheney n Co., doing busi-
ness in the City of Toledo, county
and state aforesaid, aud that said
firm will pay the sum of ONE HUN
DRIED DOLLARS for each and ev-
cry case of catarrh that cannot be
cured by the use OF Halls Catarrh
Cure. FRANK j, CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscrib.
ed in my presence, this 9th day of
December A, D., 1896
*x* A. W. GLEASON,
*A* 80. Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter-
nally and acts directly on the blood
and mucuous surfaces Of the sys-
TEN. Send tor testimonials, free,
Il. j. CHENEY 4 CO., Toledo, O,
Sold by druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07
What Hurts ThemY

One has a bankrupt stock, one
has a removal sale, and the other is
going to retire; yet we have sold
more hats, furnishings, clothing
and shoes than ever before and at
a profit, but a small one.
SHARPE & BREWER.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

We are glad to see the Delmonico
Cafe doing such a good business. 1t
is specially fitted up for ladies'
has already several lady boarders.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07
Get DALEY & Craig

To do your Plumbing. They are
practical Plumbers and understand
the business. 10 Clinton Street,
Harper Building. II 16
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

Have your watches aud clocks re.
paired by the old reliable jewler,
h. l.. Schuster. 1925
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-01-07

Go TO Sam Ragland's and buy a
box of those Leading Counsels'-
they are free smokers,
New-York tribune., 1896-05-29
APPROVAL FOR MR.. WOODRUFF.

II was apparent yesterday that Park Conmis-
sioner Timothy l.. Woodruff had won the approval
Of most Brooklyntes by hts action on Wednesday
I'm refusing 20 award the contract for the mac"da-
mizing OF Glenmore-ave. 10 Cody Brothers' the con-
tractors who had made the lowest BID Tor the "oIh
When on Wednesday afternoon MT. "oou'u'i Il"
formed a representative OF the cody Brothefs Hrih
that n, would not award the contract TO them under
any circumstances Mr.. Cody grew angry ana
threatened 10 bring mandamus proceedings against
him to compel him to give to job to them. war
OF words followed. was reported In Yesterday
Trlh,ne Mr. Woodruff refusing TO alter MS de-
c,sion because OF alleged weaknesses In the Cody
Brothers bid. - .,,. ,,,,s
nrnceedinCs had been Instituted. and he was con-
ndcnt that none would be He hai Iookrd sIrn Oyer
and when he told Mr.. cody that he would give
them the work under consideration. ne knew
t,,sf vhcre ne stool. Mr.. Woodruff. In his conduct
of the office he hold has won the confidence OF ooth
Renublicans ana Democrats throughout the city.