The Van Buren press., 1896-01-25
Buckets and Bottles Everywhere.

buckets ana BOttleb EVefyWneres
One of the hardest and most terriblest
drinkers that ever had his day and gem
GRAFTON In this country was hook-eyed
Billy Stringer. He didn't cuss and he
didn't fight and he didn't gamble with
the documents" but when it come to
drinkin whisky Billy he was there He
was right tolerable we'll fixed in regards
to this worlds goods, with what had
come down to him from the family, and
he got something in the way Of boot
when he married. But he would pole
off down to the Cross Roads every day
the Lord sent, exceptin Sunday, and
went in deeper and deeper with whisky
till his farm was goin to rack and ruin,
and it looked like nothin but starvation
ahead for him and his family.
Finally at last in the run of time his
good wife took it into her head that
maybe she could break Billy and wean
him off from whisky. The next mornin
bright and early Billy went down to
the Cross Roads as usual, and then late
along in the shank OF the evenin he
come home drunk as usual, and If any,
thing maybe little more drunker. He
had worked up such tremendous bad
case of it that day till it took two men
to tote him home and put him to bed.
Soon as ever Billy got to sleep good
Misses Stringer put out she did and went
down to the grocery at the Cross Roads
and bought fifteen gallons of mean
whisky, which she told the store keeper
to please send it right on up to the
house.
When Billy woke up and come to his
senses about daylight the next mornin
he was feelin-hut maybe you mought
know how he felt. And il in case you
don't know there are plenty of people
in this country that could tell you If
they was only brave and honest enough
to spit 1t out. He felt like he could bite
a mill pond in two at one lick and then
swallow both ends of it. The first
thing he saw was a water bucket with a
gourd in it settin in chair by the side
Of his bed, and he went down after
some water. But instid OF water he got
a gourd full of whisky. And Billy he
didn't want any whisky to speak of
right then. 1t was most too soon in the
mornin. He then turned over, and
there was another water bucket with
gourd in it on the other side Of the bed.
Oncst more Billy went down after water
and come up with whisky. Presently
he got up to hunt for water, and he
found buckets and bottles all around.
But it was all whisky-whisky, whisky
everywhere, and marry drop of water.
Then Billy opened up and called for his
wife, and wanted to know who in the
thunderations had set 'em up to so in
fernal much whisky, when the mainest
thing with him was water.
at was me that bought the whisky,
Billy, and l bought it for you," says his
good wife.
"You must be drunk yourself, or
either goin crazy" says Billy.
mo, amt drunk, Billy" says she,
''and | amt goin crazy so far as any
BODY knows Of But when the time
comes l want you to die at home. 1t
seems like you are dead bent on KILN
Yourself with whisky, and it has pes
tered me powerful to think that you
mought die in that dirty, filthy gro
oery down there at the Cross Roads.
So went and laid in a full stock of
whisky, and you can now git it without
ramblin off down there after it.
bought it and paid for it with my own
money, Billy, and brought it home for
you. 1t is yours, Billy-every drink
and every drop Of it is yours. So you
can wade right in now and help your
self. You know how hurtin and heart
breakin it is to me for you to be for
ever drinkin and carousin around. But
il nothin else will do you but to keep
on till it kills you, l would whole LOT
ruther for you to wind up the business
right here and die at home"
And do you know it makes me happy
clean down to my socks TO tell you that
hook-eyed Billy Stringer didn't plunge
in and kill his fool self then and therei
Well, he didn't. Bless gracious, he
amt dead till yet. But he is a sober
man now. Henceforwards from thai
day he never has took a drink. His