The Universalist. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1884-1897, 1896-05-30
NED.

Ned was water spaniel, and though
well along in years, the springs of his
youth still rippled gaily on. His mind,
however, had entered second childhood.
Once valuable retriever, his hunting
instincts gradually dwindled down to the
retrieving of sticks and stones. Indeed,
he was an enthusiast on these, and
carried one or the other about with him
wherever he went in case he found some
one willing to throw it for him. He
seemed never to tire of chasing after
them. He would even catch stones on
the fly and for his rashness hardly car
ried whole tooth in his head.
When times for him were little dull
Ned dozed on the stone steps of his
masters store, and whenever custo-
mer passed in or out he gave sharp
grcwl and caught up his precious stone
fearing they had designs upon it. Ned
usually watched his chance, and when
he saw two men stop in the street to
talk, he trotted up to them, dropped the
stone at their feet and stood watching
it, his body tense. ready to spring at the
first move. Those who knew him, oblig-
ingly sent it spinning into the street,
and Ned would have it in his mouth be-
fore it had stopped rolling. One day
the stone was pitched into farmers
lumber wagon standing near by acct
dent, and Ned went almost distracted.
He cried and barked and ki-yied and
tried to climb the wheels until the farm.
er not knowing the cause Of his distress
thought the dog was going mad and
drove away, carrying the precious stone
with him. Ned chased after, biting at
the wheels, until the man. concluded he
was one of "those sassy town dogs" cut
at him with the whip, so Ned had to
console himself by hunting up another
one.
His masters daughter, Miss Jennie,
sang soprano in the choir, and one Sun
day morning when she walked up the
aisle, Ned trotted along behind her with
a ridiculously large bone in his mouth.
When she took her seat, in full view OF
the audience, he banged the bone down
on the floor and thumped himself down
beside it, keeping one eye on the tenor's
foot meanwhile. to see if it showed any
disposition to humor him. When Miss
Jennie stood up 90 sing solo, Ned
picked up his bone; but when he found
she was going no farther, he dropped it
and sat down to study the situation.
She resolved that Ned would be chained
and kenneled, hereafter, early every
Sunday morning.
He knew one cunning trick. A crack
er was placed on his nose, and at given
signal he gave it little toss and caught
it in his mouth. A mischievous boy
stuck one on his nose with some shoe
makers wax and poor Ned sat tossing
it until overcome by disgust, and finally
went to sleep with it sticking to his
nose.
Ned jumped into sudden fame one
day. There was a mass meeting in
town, and among SO many boys and men
his spirits we're keyed up to the highest
pitch, on finding so many stone throw
ers. When his master went to the hall
Ned went also. He cared nothing for
the speaking, but he did long to have his
master roll the stone down the aisle, and
kept showing it with his nose nearer to
his foot as gentle hint. Now his mas.
ter cared nothing for Ned's kind of plav,
and feeling little annoyed, picked up
the stone and threw it out of the window
which was two stories high, never
dreaming that Neds mania would allow
him to forget the long flight OF stairs
that he had trudged up. But no sooner
was the stone out the window than Ned,
never pausing to look before he leaped.
disappeared also, sharp yelp telling
the amazed by ISLANDERS that he had dis
covered his mistake. While his master
was wondering about him, Ned came
limping up the aisle, sadder and wiser
dog but bearing in triumph the stone in
his mouth, which he laid at his masters
1851. ne was nol mucn nurl Dy tne
jump.
Ned peacefully died at last, aud was
put in sack and sent to New Orleans,
via the Mississippi River. We think he
was worthy of a decent burial, even il
he had, while living, gone daft on sticks
and stones.-Caroline MoSher, in Ad.
1,0nce