The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1896-02-11
Reason With Your Children
First.
ANTICIPATE THEIR WISHES.
Paper Read Before ChiId's STUDY
Class-Some Valuable Information
for Mothers to study Over-What
Is Best TO Do and Not to Do.

A little four-year-old had gone to
bed and was waiting for the sandman
to come and carry her to the Land oil
Nod, when her father came into the
room and told her that baby sister
had come to her. What delight filled
the heart of this first-born childl she
talked excitedly about 1t for few
minutes. Finally she bad new idea
about the baby, and expressed 1t In
these words:
"Papa, when my new little sister Is
naughty I must punish her, mustn't
I?n
What a commentary on the methods
of her loving and lenient parents!
What warming to US who impress
,,unish ment on the childish brain as
our chief employment and privileged
It is in following out the train OF
thought this instance suggested that
write my experience in Furnishing
children. My convictions are the ag
gregates OF years, dating back to my
own childish desires and ideas, and
fail to find good reasons which woul
| lead me to change.
I see, from my own experience and
that of others, that we punish when
we are the ones who should be whip
ned or sent to bed in the daytime. We
are nervous, we are tired, we are SICK
and we make demands on the children
that are foolish and wicked. fnen we
punish our children for not doing as
| L,a M q nHa6 for doing
what we unnecessarily forbade.
Three little children, whose home
were on the bank of q river, wer
playing together one day, when they
suddenly thought IL would be "Just
lovely" to go down to the river. They
scampered to their respective homes
to ask their mothers about the mat
ter. One, who was wise mother
(eyen IL she did live on the bank OF q
riverD, bad expected them to ask THIS
question and did not say "no" to her
two eager children, but instead she
sked them: How would you like
to have q river OF your own in our
back yard?" The children were over
joyed at the thought, and spoons, tin
Gu 90, much digging aud some water
soon gave them a perfect time OF bliss.
Late that afternoon the mother TOOK
them herself for walk to the river,
I'D they had fine time. The mother
carried a basket which they filled with
the little round pebbles they found
there.
The other boy went with the same
question to his mother, busy, busy
woman: Cant L go down TO the
river, map" "No, you can't. Don't
? YOU dare to go down To the river III
YOU do, I'll whip you" But she was
at work, and no play was provided foT
him. So be took the dare on the first
opportunity and got his whipping,
you may be sure.
, The next day was rainy. In the
happy home the children hattened
their noses against the window pane-
and begged to go out and~make an
t other river. But the wise mother had
known they would ask this and was
ready for them She brought out the
basket of stones and showed the chill
dreu how to make a village, usinl
uebbles for houses and churches, anC
r they were happy and busy children
for all that rainy morning.
] These incidents illustrate perfectly
nv point of view. That woman
0 stHdied her children, and uuderstoo,
q them She WAS working psychoio-
. pisf. and rhe succeeded just for tha
j reason. She knew that change an
- activity are necessary To children, AM
e she recognized IN No. a word of tn
= Evil Que TO rouse one angry passion
=, che ''id a phiInso ophic deed IN b"in
- positive ann not prOnibitive. She Sc
= the children at work, changed tn
Il working .,lan when necessary, and <
l. could quietly go on with her "w
u work.
-o We see that the other mnthe
'9 trained her child To "wrong doing" b
iC making a threat. L say, avoid laws
Avoid rules. Avoid threats. Abov
- all, nUoid issues. Think out villa
u e cblld Will do, ami meet the need
OF the case Always meet them, an
YOU are a genius. Iufiuiie patience
needed, but loving woman, ne
woman, will resolve 10 train her chi
dren by the law of love. She deter
mines to have their love ana the
confidence, and her wisdom Will orin
their obedience; but, mark me, the
will not know the word obedie M
at all.
With almost all children, and wit
all grown people, / am convinced, Il
commanding tone and direct order q