The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-03-06
ONLY COMMON CLAY.
How Vanity and Ambition Led the Queen
of Oradell Into Error.

Lizzie Opdyke, a dashing mulatto girl,
went TO live in Oradell, n. j., year ago.
because the name reminded her of that of
the hero in that sti; ring romance " "Razored
for a Woman's Sake; or, The Life OF the
Picnic"
Oradell Is Just across the creek from
Peetsburg, where the swell cake walks of
the Hackensack Four Hundred have been
held since the cyclone OF last summer
wrecked the Cherry Hill "Atbenium."
There was a grand ball and "walk' at
Peetsburg last Friday night, and Lizzie
was to have been Queen of the May and
give away the cake, but, as always hap
pens when one seems TO have dead
cinch, /" the wrong number turned up.
Lizzie went to Jail, and the "walk" ended
in a flash of razors.
When the good citizens of Oradell heard
steel smite upon steel they covered under
their blankets and hoped that 1t would
prove a. war of annihilation.
But in order to comprehend this de-
nouement an understanding OF what led
up to it is necessary, and this brings US
Annie Kabosch Is Mrs. Hiram Bells
servant girl, and one day long ago, just
about the time Lizzie was elected high
cockalorum of the Peetsburg cake walk,
she called upon Annie and borrowed "a
from her, adding that she had dreamed of
heaven not to let the sun go down with
out playing the dead gig.
Now Lizzie did what she could with
Annie's q to make herself magnificent
for that cake walk. She bought a pair of
high heeled white slippers that made her
look as stately as a black swan, and then
she reflected that she had forgotten the
cake which she bad already resolved
should be awarded to nb other couple
than herself and "Closter Sam," the best
dressed coon for miles around.
She called on Annie Kabosch last We'd
nesdsy night and while the latter was col
lectir z scuttle of coal, went to a sat-
chel, from which she had seen Annie take
the 81, and distracted therefrom a
pocketbook containing SIS, diamond
(?) ring, bottle of cologne (hallelujsh),
a true lovers knot, four leafed clover
IN the Maiden's Own Fortune Teller.
Then she went to the store and bought
four pounds of gingerbread, with icing
on top. a box of fruit crackers, two jars
of stick candy, one jar of Jaw breakers,
a gold watch chain for the best gen'lman
dancer and a package of chewing gum
for the handeomest lady, She began to
the gum then and there.
She was just the happiest yellow girl In
New Jersey as she stepped back to borrow
her "auntie'so push cart. Her conscience
never "hollered after her." and she
di1n't start guiltily when her "aunty"
asked her where she got the money to buy
sall them groceries,
She loa ed her purchases into the push
cart Friday afternoon and wheeled them
up to the hall i'm which the cake walk was
to be held.
1t was dark when she finished decora-
ting the table. She calculated on charg-
ing % cents a slice for the gingerbread
waltzing with the Queen" When she
had realized fair profit she told herself
she would go back and reimburse Annie
Kabosch.
As she was hurrying home to dress,
Constable William Henry Mestervelt of
Oradell arrested her theft He hur-
ried her away to the Hackensack jail,
where she was locked up in cell just
about the time the elite of Hackensack
and Closter and Riverdale and Cherry Hill
were srriving at the hall in Peetsburg.
Their eyes glistened as they gazed upon
the gingerbead and the fruit crackers
and the chewing gum. "CIoster Sam"
stood in a naughty attitude near the door
waiting for Lizzie to appear and curling
his neither lip at the other beauties.
Suddenly big black man from Ho-
boken sidled up to the tatle and grab
bed fruit cracSer.
"Release dat cake" shouted Sam, who
had seen his act.
For answer the big man threw the cake
up in the air, caught it in his mouth,
and presto was gone.
Everybody sniggered until Sam walked
up to the big fellow and announced that
he would cut the cake from his vitais.
"Dis hy'ar amt no free lunch. Niger"
said Sam, in terrible voice, "but am
disintegrated to de lady -ob de walk.
Irow up dat cake or l disgorges yer my
own SELF"
In an instant razors were drawn and
crossed, aud fearful fight for Lizzie's
dearly bought provender begun. In the
confusion the lights went OUT, and some
body pulled over the table, and most of its
contents were eaten on the spot by those
who never had the ghost of chance of
winning in fair neld. The ball was
fzzle. "Closter Sam" was thrown out
by the Hoboken champion and all his
jewelry taken. He had to walk home and
did not learn until the next morning
that his Lizzie was only common clay.