davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
MARVELLOUS RESULTS.

From a letter written by Rev. ]. Gum
derman, Dimondale, Mich, we are per-
mitted to make this extract: II have no
hesitation In recommending Dr. Kings
New Discovery, as the results were al
most marvellous In the case Of my wife
While was pastor Of the Baptist
church at Rives Junction she was
brought down with Pneumonia succeed
ing La Grippe. Terrible paroxysms OF
coughing would last hours with little
interruption, and 1t seemed as II she
could not survive them. A friend
recommended DR.. Kings New Discovery:
1t was quick in its work, and highly
satisfactory in its results" Trial bot
ties free at Chas. Rogers Drug Store
Regular size, 50c and $1.00.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

"A year ago. in Thomasville. Ca, Major
Mckinley, when offered the delegates OF
tAres Southern states II he would de-
eiAre for free silver. said, in the presence
e the editor OF this Journal: II the
Republican platform declares for free
coinage. 1 will not be candidate
would not run on free silver plat
form Chicago nmes-Herald.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
A LITTLE DRAGON.

Yonkers Gazette.
Il see. Tremper. that you have a new
errand boy at your office"
Yes, great boy he is, too; we call him
that little dragoon."
Because he's such warlike fellow,
] suppose?'
Hardly; it's because he has TO be
booted and spurred before we can get
anything out OF him."
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
Children Cry for
Pitchers CastoFia.

81 am afraid" said the eminent states-
mans wife. that you are making a mis-
take" "How?" by constantly de-
claring that II you are nominated 1t will
be against your Will" But I've got to
do something to keep them reminded
that I'm eligible, haven't IT'-Washlng-
ton Star.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
Or. Prices Cream Baking Powder
Contains no Ammonia or Alum.

Colonel Rhodes. the brother Of Cecil
Rhodes, whose name has been mentioned
many times recently In connection with
the South African troubles. was for two
years In command OF the First Royal
Dragons, and a favorite In London
He also served as aide-de-camp OF Lord
Londonderry when the latter was lord
lieutenant Of Ireland.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
BUcKLEN's ARNICA sALvE.

The best salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblalns, Corns and All Skin Erup-
tions,, and positive cure for Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded
Price, 25 cents per box. For sale by
Chas. Rogers, Odd Fellows building.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
WARM

Detroit SUNDAY Ncws.rrihunc.
so that Is Hadcs," muscd the wrath
% the funny man 'Ah, yes, | have
several warm friends there"
At the moment Charon had his hands
iull with the helm else there Is no tell
ing what might havc happened
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

The Astorian is in receipt Of the third
issue OF the Japan Herald, published in
San Francisco by Messrs. G. Y. Okada
and A. ]. Kuroda. The journal is printed
on japanese paper and appears weekly
both in the English and Japanese Ian
guage simultaneously. Every success is
wished for the new enterprise.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

It is said that President Kruger, OF
the Transvaal republic, had confined his
readings to the Bible and "Pilgrim's
Progress" until recently. when some one
gave him one Of Mark Twain's books.
The humor OF the American Joker hap
pened to hit the Boer ruler In the right
place. and he has purchased full set
of Mr.. Clemens works
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

We are unalterably opposed to any
scheme that win give to this country
Appreciated or debased currency. We IA
voT the use OF silver as currency. hut to
the extent only and under such restrie-
tons that its parity with gold can be
maIntained.-wiseonsin Republican con-
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

We might tell you more about One
Minute Cough Cure. but you probably
know that II cures a cough. Every one
does who has used II. II is a perfect
remedy for coughs. colds. hoarseness. II
is an especial favorite for children. be-
ing pleasant to take ana quick In curing.
Chas Rogers
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Prince Frederick Leopold OF Prussia.
who Is the protector OF the Berlin In
dustrial Exhibition, which was opened a
few days ago. is son OF the famous
Red Prince" Frederick Charles. the
cavalry leader. He II a third cousin
and brother-n-law OF the emperor OF
Germany. and Is the richest member OF
the Hohenzollern family.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Important TO Americans seeking BnE-
hsh Capital for now enterprises iisR
containing tho names and addreases OF
80 successful promoters who have placed
over flOo,Oo.OoO Sterling In Foreign In
vestments within the last six years ana
over fis.0O0.oO0 for the seven months OF
1886. Prica. Is. or iz5. payable by postal
order to tho London and Universal Bu-
reau OF Investors. 2O cheapslde London,
E G, Subscribers will be entitled, by ar
rangemont With the directors to receive
either personal or lottora OF introduction
10 any OF these auccsesful promoters.
This ligt In first Class IN every respect.
and every man or firm whose name ap-
poars therein may DO depended upon.
For placing the following II will DO
found lnvaluabe-Bonds or shares OF In
dugtrial Commercial and Financial con-
Germs, Mortgage loans. Sale Of Lands.
Patents or Mines.
Directors:-
SIR EDWARD c. ROSS,
HON. WAITER C. PEPYs.
CAPT ARTHUR sTIFFE.
Copyright.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
GREAT MINDS.

Boston Courier.
A man by the name Of Paul was re-
Gently executed In a Western city, and
at latest accounts sixteen of the county
papers had spoken of the affair as
changing like a Paul. over the com
munity.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
NOT AN EDITOR.

Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Penman-A penny for your
thoughts, dear?
Mr.. Penman-I was just wondering
why the editor had refused TO give me
even that much for them.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Among the Brigands.- Friendly Native
(shaklng hands with stranger about to
depart)-I wish you a pleasant journey,
sir, and hope you won't be molested by
the brlgands. Gentleman (who has been
badly heeced at the inn)-Your advice
comes. too late, my friend; the things
dOne.-Leschaalle.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

When Baby was sick. we gave her caStoriA.
When she was Child, shc cried Tor Cas;orlA.
When she became Mis-, she chung to CastoriA.
When shell children, she "a them CastoriA.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Take a dose Of Dewitrs Little Early
Risers Just for the good they will do
you. These little Pills are good for In
digestion, good for headache, good for
liver complaint, good for constipation.
They are good. Chas. Rogers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Alma Tadema. the artist. has the most
beautiful home In England. The wall
OF the drawing room Is paneled with tall.
slim pictures. each of them by differ
ent naturalization. Boughton. sar-
gent. Whistler. and score OF other
artist friends each contributing 10 this
remarkable decoration. Another inter
esting feature Is the oak and ivory plano.
on the inside I'D OF which are inscribed
the autographs OF the most celebrated
singers and musicians In the world
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

ueorHe Nelson, lot block ~
Auelrh AetoilA'!" ",t'', ".".1 W.
uoogHe Nelson lot o. bloek W .a
AuaFh ASTORIA ,u"" '."n - "
christ NaFn, lot p'ooh w. -
Adalrh Ahtofia'tt', 49,, '"U!
ChrlHt NaAa let ~ 'p'ook w
AdhlfH AhtoFleuu't uNW ruf1A pS
Theresa olrleh, lol J. nlooh w.
Adalfa Antotiat,s't ot'., ''.',.s u
Theresa olitlph, lot i, bloek w.
Adalr'a Astor'a','',, U,'', ',,'..' NN
Edward o. Cpnhor' lot l. block a.
AuaH hhlo'h'''v' '.rv!' 80" -
Edward pCohnor lot = block u'
Adalrh AhtoHa,,t't, ,t,,,sn t't,, " ~
Edward uCohnor lot J. block a.
AdalrH Astoria, ,,,,'' ,,,,,,'' "',,' u ~
Andrew Olsen, lot u block @,
| Adairh astoria, ,,n,. o,sun "'.s ea
Ahdrew olaen, lot \ hlook q,
Adalrn Astoria ,,u' ,,,s,,, ,r,,, ~
j. ", Palmer, lot 4 block u.
Adair'a Astoria, ,,.,, ,,,,n ,u,,,., " Il
Anna A. Rope, lot J. block o.,
Adalra As'oria',.n,. '!,'". u.,., 10 y
MIA rope, lot y block ~ AdAirp
AHloflA',,''' ,'',,,' ,,,,', ,,,u,. 10 ~
Frank Patton, trustee. lot ~, block
o. AdalTa Aa1oria,,,,,', ,",", 10 y
Frank Patton. trustee, lot ~ block
"a, Adalr'a Aa,orla'',,,,, ,,,u.,, 10 ~
J, ", Palmer, lot T. block ~,
Adair'H Astoria, 80" ,,,.,, ",,u.. " q
w, W, Parker, lot J. block hA
Hhlvely's Astoria ,",, ,,,,,, 80" 10 %
W, W, Parker. lot D block iU,
Rhlvrly's Aatoris,,r o,", ,",, 100
jennie II. Parker, lot II. block iip,
HhlVrly'H Aptoria.,,." ,,,,o ~" eo
Mary J, nyrle. 10, o block %.
Adalr'a Antorla. .,.u ,",,, ,u,,. lo@
Sarah q, sherman. lot .. block -.
| Adaiv'a Aatorla,,,,n ,,,.,. .u,, 0G
Mabel l. sullivan. \ half lot l.
block u, Adair'a Astoria, ,u,, ~ -
/ n. aIInonsen, lot "a block a.
Adalr'a Astoria.,,,, ,,.,,,,, .,,,,, i'm
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Burns are absolutely painless when De-
Wits Witch Hazel Salve is promptly
applied This statement is true. A per-
feet remedy for skin diseases. chapped
hands and lips, and never fails to cure
piles. Chas. Rogers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Busy people have no time, and sensible
people have no inclination to use a slow
remedy One Minute Cough Cure acts
promptly and gives permanent benefits.
Chas. Rogers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

When person Is losing flesh and vast
ing away there Is cause for alarm. Moth
ing SO worries a physician. consump-
tives would never die II they could re-
gain their usual weight In fact there
would be no consumption II thece were
no wasting Of the system, The cause OF
this loss OF flesh Is a failure to properly
digest the food eaten, Nins-ten,hs OF all
our diseases date back to some lerangc-
ment OF the stomach.
The Shaker Digestive Cordial will stop
this wasting OF the body. II acts by
causing the food We eat 10 be dlgestrd
so as TO DO good. for undigested food
does more harm than good. The Cordial
contains food already dIgcsted and a
hlgester OF foods as Mell
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Bobby taking his first lesson In LatinJ
Mother, does God understand LatinY
Mother-Of course he does Bobby
Who made him study lt?-Puck.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
MEEKI.Y.

Bent by mail per year. s. in advance
Postage free to subscribers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.

Sacramento Bee,
Dick. you didn't bring your mission
AIRY nlckelsG"
Nom; there's circus eomin' this
week. and them hcathenll have to wait"
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Every mother hates to make Aer chill
dren take Castor on Laxol Is sweet
Castor on
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
rHRns OF SUBSCRIPTION,
DAILY.

Sent by mail, per year.-,,,.,.,,,,,,,.sS,Oo 20
Sent by mail per month,,,,...,,,.,,,.. 80
Served by carrier per week,........,. 10
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20

Notice II hereby given that tho aspcaa.
mont made by Ordinance No, aps, OF tho
city ~ Astoria, confirming tho apscsa-
ment on Roll No !. FOR the construction
OF drain In the city ot Astoria, NH laid
cut and recorded by John Adair coms
menclnE at a point In block cS, aud hav-
ing its outlet In Thir,y.thlrd street, he-
tween blocks 10 and ~, In Adair'a As
toria, and known and designated as
Drainage District No, - VIII ho due
and payable ON the lath day et May, ING,
IN U, =, gold or silver coin. AZ tle oit,eo
OF the city treasurer, and n not no paid
within or before said time, tho common
council viii order warrants issued Tor
tho collection ot the same, The aAaess.
mcnt II aa tollowa,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-20
ENGLISH CAPITAL FOR AMERICAN
INVESTMENTS.

~ II FNTsN11IVIN1
Auditor and Police Judge
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29

'Betcher life, cullyl Hsilol Take a
look at de countess, will youl''
Who do you mean?"
Dat gal a-waitin fur de cable cal
and lookin back at me. Hully gee, but
amt she peaches? Where kin you ekal
dat on de east side, cully?''
care you in love with her?'' asked
as climbed down from the chair.
Dat don't express me feelin's, ole
man. De fact is, I'm dead gone on hen
mashed right into de ground.
And how did it come about?''
cit was jest dis way, Gully. I was
a-standin yere one day a year ago when
de countess cum along, and a great hi
duffer pushes her off de walk, and she
falls on de cobbles. up wild me dukes
and polishes off de duffer, and den
flies to de rescue of de unconscious
maiden. I picks her up, places her in
dis cheer and brings out a beer to re
store her to life. AS holds de mug to
her ruby lips she sips and gurgles and
opens her eyes and looks at me tenderly.
Den all to once I finds her golden head
restin on me busum and me eyes lookin
down into hers, and demand DEM
"And what?''
'tAnd den it cum over me, Gully, dat
we was ingaiged and our two hearts
beat as one. Coin? Well, cum and see
me when you want p inter. IN. Quad
in Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29

It was evident that she was troubled.
Il think prefer this she said, indi-
eating a roll OF cloth on the counter.
"You say it has been marked down from
10 to 10 cents a yard?'
''Yes, ma am - replied the clerk.
Its really what I want, " she contin-
ued, "but this and she indicated an
other roll, "has been marked down from
1917 to 10 cents yard, as I understand
you?''
Eyes, ma'am.''
''Then should think the other ought
to be down to 81 cents.''
''That would be cheaper than we can
afford to sell it, ma'am.''
"But you have taken 2% cents off the
price of the other and only cents of
this?' she protested, taking up the first
roll again. ''That makes the other the
better bargain
LAS pure matter of cents, perhaps
''I'n give you 90 cents for it. -
"We cannot sell it at less than 10 cents,
ma'am.'
"rd rather have it than the other,
butt
Its very cheap at 10 cents a yard,
ma's.In."
IT suppose it is, but it isn't as good a
bargain as the other.''
81 can't make it any less.'
"Then 1 suppose will have to take the
1917 cent goods, but it seems a shame
when I would rather have the other. You
may give me ten yards. ''-Chicago Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29
At Home and Abroad.

t'Africa and Its Possibilities" was the
title of an address made in St. Johns
church by Bishop Turner, who has made
frequent visits to Africa in the interests
of his church. Speaking of the future OF
Liberia, he said:
There are 5000, 900 people in this
country whom we don't want in Africa.
We want self reliant men. We don't want
people who believe it a curse to be black
who are ashamed to be black, and who use
straighteners to take the curl out of their
hair. You know perfectly well that there
are thousands of black people who do use
straighteners, but tell you that trying to
get white peoples hair is dangerous for
health and life.''
Bishop Turner told an experience which
he had on a British ship, where he was
addressed as 'your lordship,'' according
to the English custom of addressing bish-
ops.
Your lordship?' asked Bishop Gaines,
with twinkle in his eye.
Eyes was Bishop Turner's reply, 81
am lord as soon as get out of the Unit
ed States.''
"What are you when you are homer he
was then asked.
"a black moke or anything" he an
swered, and then continued his address
Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29
ga HAND SAW GOOD THING, BUT NOT TO
SHAVE WITH"
SAPOl 10
IS THE PROPER THING FOR HOUsECLEANING.
NORTH TOPEKA.
Items of Interest From the North Side of
the River.

Items of Interest From the North Side of
the River.
D, L. Miller will go to Elmont to-
morrow to visit friends.
George Anderson is very sick at his
home on Kansas avenue with the grippe
Mr.. and Mrs W. H. WATSON will leave
tomorrow for Colorado on a pleasure
trip.
L. A. Herring has gone to Lawrence
and Kansas City to be gone until Satur-
day.
AL, Stowe is here from Missouri to visit
friends. He left here to goto Missouri
last spring.
Mrs Emma Averill has returned to her
nome after a visit of three weeks with
Kansas City friends.
C. D. Lewis returned today from Clay
Center with four horses which he has
had there. His parents live there.
F. NJ Comstock, who lives at 1852
North Quincy street, left today for Wash
ington, d. c., to be gone week.
Mrs. White and her daughter, Mrs.
Rand, of Central avenue, left today for
Portland, Conn, to be gone some time.
J.H. Heller, 1902 N. Kansas avenue,
grocery and meat market. Good treat
ment and fine meats and groceries; you
can do better here than elsewhere.
The Magnet Restaurant and Short Or
der house. A. J. Proudfit. $50 n. Kansas
ave. Wholesale fruits and confectionery.
Geo. J. Graves s. Sons, Ito and III
West Laurent street, North Topeka, for
buggy tops, cushions. wagons, ard bug
gies built to order. Bell 'phoEe 53S.
Items and advertisements for the
Io1rpNaI should De left at the drug store
of A ]. Kane s. Co., 826 N. Kansas ave-
nue..
Attorney Charles Hayden, of Hoyt.
uas in the city today and yesterday at
tending to some criminal cases in the
district court.
Mrs. John Hill returned today to her
home in Arkansas City. She has been in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29
THE OLD BOYS ARE GOING
The Grand Army Rolls Show a De-
crease for the Past Year.

Gne Gr8mO army Rolls snow q De-
crease for the Past Year.
The Council of Administration of the
Kansas G. A r. held meeting in Tope-
ka yesterday to close up its business for
the year.
Department Commander Harris said
to STATE JOURNAL reporter that the af
fairs of the Kansas G. A. r. are in most
excellent shape, but that the membership
has decreased materially during the
year.
He said: avery year shows marked
increase in the death rate. The report
last year showed something like 500
mem bers of the G. A. R. died during the
previous year This year the death roll
will include the names of
between 700 and 800 comrades The in
creased death rate is already beginning
to diminish the number of G. A. r. posts
In the country districts and in the coun-
try towns there will soon not be enough
old soldiers left to keep up post organi-
cation and the death rate is bound to in
crease every year and it will not be long
until there will be only few stragglers
left.
1.-The G. A. r. is unlike any other or
ganization, there is no new blood going
into it and it can't last much Iongsr.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29
OH, THESE CANDIDATES /!
They Will Talk and People Will Talk
About Them.
Mr.. BURTON'S ST. LOUIS INTERVIEW

fore.
81. r. Burton's ST. Louis interview was
all right" said a prominent Kansas Re-
publican who tried to help elect Mr..
Burton to the United States senate last
winter.
Continuing this gentleman said: SIT
will be useless for Ar. Burton and his
friends to attempt to deny the genuine
ness of that interview. With the ex-
ception of the reference to the small
fry he has said all that was in that iu-
terview to me. He told me his ambition
to run things and outlined his plan of
action in case of defeat for senator, just
as it was told in that interview. Mr..
Burton is a pretty good man, but there
are times when he works his mouth too
much"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29

tfYou pretty we'll. JonAs?" Mr.. Bart
lett had helped his nei9hbor' S wife from
the wagon, and he sent benevolent
smile after her as she Talked toward
the house. The neighbor came out of
the barn in time 30 see the smile It in
spired his question.
"Who, me?" the visitor asked absent
1y. eyes, 1 be, Aaron" he answered.
with sudden briskness. SGT amt no rich
er n was, n I'm rheumaticky s can
hold, but I'm thankful. Sence this noon
I'm thankfuller'n I ever dreamed O.
bein.
"You know my woman n yourn g
been neighborin today. I was putterin
round in the summer kitchen, n herd
a good deal o. their improvin converse
ton. Did you know the minister's wife
uses butter for shortenin? Your wom-
an wouldn't do it. Mine wouldn't
nuther.
f'But that ain t nothin to the wasteful
ness O. some others. Miss Beals had two
new dresses last fall, n yet her ragbag
her ragbag, mind you-'s full O. good
clothes. Miss Tucker wore one hat to
meetin for four summers. She I'd ou2hter
git another, I take it, but you see she
squanders her money on fine under
clothes for her young ones. Young ones
is both cross eyed too. My woman says
she's glad ourn amt. So does yourn.
''And speakin about young ones re-
minds me that Miss Peters baby's neg
lected SO he yells all night. n the way
Miss Adams la1nbastes that boy O. hern
is ridic' lous. Your woman says she
wouldn't have her tongue N temper for
500. So does mine.
'Did tell you Miss Hamilton amt
had her front room carpet up for three
years? AS for Miss Walkers house, you
On write y'r name in dust anywheres.
Moreover, Miss Twitchell don't do
nothin but scandalize her neighbors, n
Miss Ross amt no better n she should
be. I declare, don't know what folks
is comm to.
''But you n me are all right, Aaron,
Mr.. Bartlett ended as he climbed into
his wagon. ''We'd oughter be thankful.
Yes, indeed. gathered from this ERE
conversation that yourn and mine was
about the only perfect women in this
toWn.''-Youth' S Companion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-29
He Was Cool.

Congressman Morse of Massachusetts,
was on board the i'll fated train that
met with terrible accident at Hyde
Park, Mass. in October last, in which
some were killed and others seriously
wounded. When the shock came, one
of the passengers was pitched over sew
eral seats and arrived at the end of the
car in season to receive the contents of
the water cooler, which tipped over just
in time to soak him with it's contents.
A passenger with benevolent intentions
was rushing around telling everybody
to keep COOL go away" said the wet
man. 81 am the coolest man in this
car. have just had two buckets of ice
water emptied down my back. Wash
ington Post.