Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-03-05
THE WALLER BABY,

hev allus he'd good opinion nv the
wimmin folks. l don't look at 'em us
some people do; NV course they re ne
cessity-just as men are. Wv course if
there warn't no wimmin folks there
wouldn't be no men fOlks-leastwise
that's what the mcdikil books say. But
never wuz much on dis, uSsin humin
economy. What l hev allus thought nd
said wuz that wimmin folks wuz u kind
NV luxury, nd the best kind too. Maybe
it's because hahn { he'd much to do with
'em that I'm sot on 'em. Never did get
real we'll acquainted with more'n three
or four nv 'em i'll all my life. Seemed
like 1t wuZ meant that l shouldn't bev
'em round me as most men hev. Mother
died when l wuZ little tike, nd A mt
Mary raised me till l wuz big enuff to
make my own livin. Down here in the
| southwest, you see, most Nv the girls is
boys. There amt none nv them siviliZin
influences folks talk uv-nothin but
flowers nd birds nd such things as
poetry tells about. So / kind NV growed
folks WuZ too good for our part nv the
country. md hewitt quite got that no.
ton ont'n my head yet.
One time-waal, l reckon 'twuz
about four years ago-I got q letter
frum ole Colonel Sibley to come up to
Saint LOucy nd consult with him bout
some stock int rsts we had together.
Railroad travelin wuz no new thing to
me. he'd been prutty p osperous-hCd
got past hevin to ride in cabbOOse nd
git ont at every stop to punch up the
steers. He'd money i'll the HoOst'n bank
md use to go to Tchicargo oncet year
He'd met Fill Armer md shook hands
with him, nd oncet the city papers he'd
colume article about my bein mil
llona!re. Wv course I warn't so, but
Teller kind NV likes that sort NV thing,
you know.
The mornin after l got that letter
from Colonel Sibley 1 started for Saint
Louey. l took bunk in the Pullman
car, like l he'd been doin for six years
past, md reckon the other folks must
hev thought wuz heap NV a man, for
every half hour I give the Niger hat
dollar TO bresh me off. The car WIZ full
nv people-rich people too, reckon, for
they wore good clo'es nd criticised the
scenery. Jest across frum me there wuZ
lady with big, fat baby-the prutti-
est woman l he'd seen in q month nv
Sundays, md the baby-why, doggone
my skin, when l wuZn't payin money to
the niger, darned if / didn't set there
watchin the big, fat little cuss, like he
wuz the only baby / ever seen. amt
much Of hand at babies, cause hain't
seen many Nv 'em, nd when it comes
to handlin 'em-why, that wou'd break
me all mp, nd like s not 'twould
break the baby all up too. But it has
allus been my notion that mex to the
wimmin folks babies wuz jest about
the incest things on earth. So the more
l looked mt that big, fat little baby set
tin i'll its mothers lap cross the way,
the more l wanted to look. Seemed like
wuz hoodooed by the little tike, nd the
first thing / knew there wuZ water in
my eyes. Don't know why il is, but it
allus makes me kind nv slop over to set
md watch a baby cooin nd playin in its
mothers lap.
Look a hyar, SAM" says I to the
niger, 'cOme hyar nd bresh me off
agln! Why amt you tendin to biZniss?'
But it didn't do no good t all. Per-
tendin to be cross with the niger might
fool the other folks in the car, but il
didn't fool me. / wuz dead stuck on
that baby-gol durn his pictur. And
there the little tike set Oh it's mothers
lap, doublin up its fists md tryin to
swaller 'em, md talkin like to its moth
er in lingo I couldn't understan, but
which the mother could, for she talked
back to the baby in a soothin lingo
which l couldn't understan, but which
liked to hear, md she kissed the baby
nd stroked its hair md petted it like
wimmin do
1t made me mad to hear them, other
folks i'll the car criticism the scenery nd
things. mans in mighty poor bizness
anyhow to be lookin at scenery when
there's woman in sight-a woman
nd baby
Prutty sOon-oh, maybe in hour or .
two-the baby began to fret nd worrit.
Seemed to me like the little critter WIZ
hungry. KNOWN that there wuzn't no .
eatin hUIse this side nv Bonneville, l |
jest called the trainboy md says | to
him, "Hev you got any victuals that
will do for n baby
How is oranges nd bananas!" SAYS