The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-03-21
GOOD SHORT STORIES.

ynediately after the war u prominent -tse-
publican, having in view an Investment
in Virginia. went 70 Madison Court House
in that state with Frederick Douglass as
his travelling companion. Their business
Colonel Dlnwiddie. virxinia 9entleman
of the old school. Mr. Wise's friend said:
Colonel Dtn.idd,e. ALLOW me to in.ro'
You must have heard OF him"
Tho colonel put hts hands behind him
as Mr. pous!ass stepped forward and i... sx-
Ian, II am glad to see you. But you will
excuse lnc; have made II a rule of my
life never to shake hands with nigEsrs.
"Oh, certainly" said Douglass. II an
an ex.siave and I know the prcjudices CT
There was some further conversation
Of Oft the go, old dominion: by the way. COLO.
mel, We are Just going TO take drink.
Will you join us
throat and then replied: well, Dousiass.
l have made It another rule OF my life
never to refuse to take drink. 1 dons
mind II DO"
COMPETITION SET IN:
She 10 young poe0-How much do yoa
get for your poems. Charlie?
Charlie with pride)-From pound TO
thirty shillings.
She-Weil. isn't that very little Charlie?
1 see that Sir Walter Scott got 1--WE hun
dred pounds for one Of his.
/ Charne-NeS, Dut, you see, WTitiflE poSt-
too much competition.-T!d-Rt
Senator John Wilson. of Washington.
travels over 5000 miles TO Washington.
and he spends every hour OF the long
Journey In thinking up new stories. Here
Is one which he tells on himself.
II was coming across Montana. said
he, land In the sleepirg car were q coi-
pie OF western fellows who evidently
took me for a tenderfoot. l could over.
hear them stringing out gren; stories OF OF
terrible ferocity of the Indians. to say
nothing OF savage encounters with the
grizzly bear. Every once in awhile they.
would glance around to see II j was
listening, and when they thought they
had me well booked they chuchled 20
themselves.
'"Then / took hand in the game. !
told them that had had one or two es-
capes myself. described how had been
out hunting in Montana when | saw some
and fairly flew. The chase grew hotter
and hotter. Before me was "a hill. ] said
and felt that perhaps If I could reach
utes dwelt on the anxiety felt to reach
1t, and then. as I flew up It's steep banks.
l told them that was suddenly con-
dians were in the rear of me. What could
] do? | noticed that l paused to let
the full effect of the situation dawn on
my hearers they We're breathless with
.:And You escaped" said one of them
Il didn't escape at ALL" said, with a
good deal of scorn. g! just laid risht
down and the Indians killed me and then
they scalpel me and they buried me right
OH the edge of the clim.
zone Of the rnen looked at me n minute
In supreme disgust. If you Will get or
at the next station. he said. i will thrash
you within an inch of your life. Wash
ington Post.
H \ H
GOLDEN MISSILES:
Here is certainly
strange paradox:
We best love Dame Fortune
When she gives us rocks.
Detroit Free Press.
Ex-ConGressman Y0der, of Ohio in COM
menting on the congressional elections
In 1895, told al party of friends the follow
ing story at one of the up-towNs hotels.
according to the Washington Post:
I'm one Of the counties In ohio Ger
man was running for sheriff on the Dem
ocratc ticket. He felt very confident or
election. but when he read the returns he
found he was showed under by about 4.oJ
majority. This reused his ire. and he
said to his wife:
"'Dot settles it. We will move out Of
dis shtate where dey treats a Democrat
like dis. Iust you pack oop our things
right away unit get ready to move away
Tie left the house in great wrath. but
in about and hour ne returned and found
his WlIe tcdTIfS Wy tdipetS anu IAN
ing down the curtain poles.
'Shtop dot. Katrina said the German:
'yust you let dem carpets alone.
-" But vat Is der matter NIT you. John?
asked his wife; 'yust a leedle vile ago
you said git ready to move. unit now you
say don't git ready tn move.
"'Nel. dots so, / did say dat; but /
yust been down to the depot, unit dare Is
no place to move to-,
II II u
A HISTRIONIC PLANT:
.l've lost my diamonds Ger and Ger"
Exclaimed the leading lady;
"And yet they mention. as before,
My art as something shady.
"Qute frequent has my divorce
Been noted in the papers,
Yet critics speak in language coarse
OF my insipid capers.
"a cigarette I've boldly smoked.
And frisked o shapely stocling;
In desperation / have joked
In ways thaa some called shocking.
mo promise OF reward ] see
For all this toll eXacting.
One last resort remains to me:
think III study acting
Washington Star