The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-10-29
HAD BEEN ON The CARS BEFORE.
a Little Story OF a Bumptious Old Man
and "a Meek Conductor.

.
He got on at Schenectady. He was
IN black broadcloth suit and dus-
ty beaver hat. He put his canvas-cov-
cred handbag into the rack and opened
newspaper. He gave the conductor
his ticket and settled himself In his
seat. Then an idea which he seemed
to have forgotten evidently came back
to him suddenly. He took the bag
down from the rack and drew out o
neatly folded gray alpaca ulster, pail
of brown cotton gloves, and black
silk travelling cap. Somebody evident.
ly had prepared him for the journey,
and determined that he should lack
no material aid to enjoying himself OF
looking just as well as anybody he
saw on the car.
lie got into the clothes, put on his
spectacles, and began to read his news
paper. But q change in the direction
of the train brought him under the at
tention of a particularly jealous ray
of sunshine. He fidgeted in his seat
and pulled down the blind. Then he
looked about the car for another seat
The only one empty was at the upper
end, so he took down the canvas hand.
bag and the beaver hat and emigrated
to the seat on the shady side of the
car. The only trace of him left in the
seat he had vacated was the slip OF
paper given him by the conductor
when he took up his ticket.
When the conductor came through
the car again he found the old man
sound asleep, with the newspaper ov-
er his face. The cap, the gloves, the
ulster and the spectacles had changed
his appearance, so he was aroused and
asked for his ticket.
Il gave you my ticket" the old fell
low snapped out, Just after | got on"
Then he put the newspaper over his
face.
But your check? Where's your
checl?" the conductor asked.
Il haven't got any check, and ]
don't want any" the old man said af-
ter he had drawn the paper up partly
from over his face. Il don't know
anything about a check. l bought a
ticket, and when l got on the train you
asked me for it. l gave it to you
and that settles 1t. Besides, I'm
sleepy"
The conductor had entirely failed to
recognize the old man in his new
face again and no ticket was forthcom-
ing. The conductor touched him.
"Where've you been sitting before|'
the conductor asked.
"In the first seat from the other
end" came from behind the newspaper
again. But don't ask me If it's still
there or not. l don't know and don't
care"
1T was only for your own conven-
ience that | gave you the check" said
the conductor so l wouldn't have to
ask you If you had your ticket every
time l passed through the car"
This time the newspaper came down,
and the old mans eyes snapped at the
conductor.
"Never you mind my convenience"
he said. II never asked you to look
out for that, and the ticket didn't say
anything about it, l can look out for
my own convenience. l haven't been
down to New York before since Gen.
Grants funeral, but l know that when
you buy your ticket and give 1t to the
conductor there's nothing else to do.
I'm not under compulsion to take
check from you, and I'm damned If
will"
The conductor didn't answer, and
didn't want to. He had won an unus-
ual victory. He had the sympathy OF
the passengers in discussion with
one of them over ticket, and he felt
that was triumph enough. So he smil-
cd while the old man slept behind his
newspaper. The conductor did not
even take the satisfaction of asking
him at every station for his ticket. He
allowed him to sleep quietly.