The San Francisco call., 1896-11-13
ENTERTAINED TOO WE'LL.
One Guest Couldn't Stand the Attentio
of the Whole Hotel staff.

of the Whole Hotel Stan.
Seated amid the palms and shrubberies
OF the roof garden, with soft vapor OF
after-dinner cigars forming luminous
haze about them, they were discussing the
liberality and charm OF American hospi-
taiity, says the New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat. Some years ago" said W. I. Jones,
when it came his turn, "many OF you will
remember that an Englishman with more
money than sagacity built a magnificent
hotel at Cum berland Gap. Th here was Moth
ing in particular to recommend the place;
il was out OF the line for travelling
men, and possessed no attractions Tor
tourists, but nothing daunted by these
deficiencies the Englishman made 1t a
yeritable palace. The appointments were
magnificent in every particular, and,
though I've put up at every hotel OF any
consequence in the country, do not re-
member ever to have slept IN more luxu-
rious bedroom. But guests persistently
refused to arrive, and one morning
when I registered l found only five
names on the book. Nor was this
the worst. for turning back l found
even fewer names, until came to
q space where for five days there had
teen only one man in the house. There
the Cordova, behind the desk, and l ask ed
him how things were going. GoineF he
exclaimed; then with long face: when
you entertain man so we'll that you
drive him out OF the house, and he the
only guest, your re in bad way There
upon he told me about the solitary guest.
1t appears that he had called the leader
OF the orchestra up and said to him: DO
you see that man? Keep your eye
on him. He's our only guest. We
can't lose him, or the house must
close. Give him Of a time.
When he gees to dinner take your
orchestra outside the door and play
music for him. When he goes into the
billiard-1oom follow him and play music
while he shoots the balls around. When
he goes to the bar follow him and play
while he drinks. Keep your eye on him,
bandmaster; give him music wherever he
goes. Then he called the steward up ana
said: Keep your eye on that man. He's
our only salvation. Give him a high old
time. None of his money goes at the bar.
Throw open the wineroom to him; keep
him supplied with the best cigars; serve
him the whole bill of fare and have extra
meals sent to his ROOM
"Then they started in on the guest.
When he went into the billiard-room the
band would play marches while he car
omed and dirges when he massed. When
he came out they would follow him 10 the
bar playing march, and while the bar
tender poured out bumpers of wine for
him they would discourse the drinking
song from 'Tannhauser.' Circus music
would be played while he walked around
the Corridors and symphonies while he
dined. After dinner relays of negro boys
would bring him in cigars, and the
band would play ! Smoke NV Last
Cigar When he went to bed the band
played lullabies in the Eall and in fhe
morning he was awakened with the re-
veille and Mendelssohn's Spring Song
For tive days the guest was drunk with
the combined effects of food. music, cigars
and champagne, and then all of sudden,
while the band was following him to the
bathroom playing "A Life on the Ocean
Wave, he suddenly grew very white and
fell all in heap. He was carried out on
a shutter and taken to the hospital at
HagersIown. Within twenty minutes
after he left thre, guests arrived, and the
hotel was saved"