Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-02-06

HE WAS TOO SMART.-Over in
Philadelphia dwelt a young law stu
dent who fell in love just as he was
about to be admitted to practice
The girls father also belonged to
the profession and was reckoned
pretty smart, as Philadelphia law
yers go. The old fellow gave a par
tial consent to the young mans plead
ings, but concluded he would try the
student and see If he was worthy to
be his son-in-law. So he said: "The
case of Blank against Blank has been
on the calendar several years. 1t
has been tried, appealed, decision
reversed, tried again and comes up
again for argument at the next gen
eral term. | am counsel for the
plaintiff. 1 have had the case four
years, but now turn it over TO you.
Here are the papers see what you
can do.n
The young man took the papers
and went to work with q vim born
of love-for if he won the case
would he not also win a bride? AT
last life seemed to him worth living.
He studied the case thoroughly. He
consulted the authorities and was
loaded and primed for brilliant ar
gument when the court convened.
He made his plea and won the case
without any trouble. With his heart
overfiowing with joy, he returned to
his prospective father-in-law, and,
slapping down the papers, he ex-
claimed: "See here, sir, the case
is won! These are the proofs
What you tried for four years to do,
L have accomplished in a single term
of court. Now, may have your
daughters"
The old fellow looked up with a
smile on his face as he replied: "I
think you are fool and you can't
have my daughter. But J will lust
give you little gratuitous advice.
IL ls true that L had the case four
years without winning it, and it is
also true that 1 made thousands of
dollars out of it. But you have
gone and settled it and what have
you made? About $50. No, sir;
you can never have my daughter -
On the journey from Vienna to
st. Petersburg, Cumberland, the
well known anti-SpIritualist and
thought-reader, entertained his feI.
ow-passengers by guessing their
thoughts. One of the travellers, a
Polish Jew, who took the whole
thing for hoax, offered to pay Cum
berland the sum of fifty rubles if he
could divine his thoughts. Visibly
amused, Cumberland acceded to his
request, and said:
You are going to the fair at
Nijni-NOvgorod, where you intend
to purchase goods to the extent of
twenty thousand rubles, after which
you will call yourself a bankrupt,
and compound with your creditors
for three per cent?
On hearing these words the Jew
gazed at the speaker with reveren-
tial awe. He then, without uttering
a syllable, drew out of the leg of his
boot shabby purse, and handed
him fifty rubles. Whereupon the
great magician triumphantly in
quired:
"Then I have guessed your thoughts
eh ?n
No." replied the Jew; "but you
have given me brilliant idea.n
-A<.S.>S-
ESTABLISHING HIS IDENTITY
Some time ago an amorous young
man sent letter to a German girl,
says the Wilbur Register, and this
postscript was added:
"That my darling may make no
mistake, remember that l will wear
a light pair of trousers and a dark,
cut.away coat. In my right hand
will carry cane, and In my left q
cigar. Yours ever, Adolphe."
The father replied courteously,
stating that his daughter had given
him authority to represent her at the
appointed place at the time agreed
on. His postscript was as follows:
dot my son may make no mis-
take, will be dreshed i'm mine shirt
sleeves. will wear In mine right
hand club aud my left will wear
a six-shooter. You will recognize
me by de way beat you on do head
a goople of times twice nit me club.
Wait for me at de corner, as / have
Something's Important to inform you
NIT. Your friendt, Heinrich Muller.
|
"Is 1t ancient?"
"No, modern.o