The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1896-05-11
A MATRIMONIAL JAR.

II might have remained there long
time Picket's new hat, if Mrs. Picket
did not repeat every time her eyes fell
upon it:
"What in the world possessed you to
buy another new hat when you leave 1T
there for weeks without ever opening
the box il came in?'
"But, said Picket, Il have not worn
it because you keep telling me that my
old one looks all right
eyes, and you already have ~ hats
that you have quit wearing, and you
leave them in your closet covered with
dust. What in the world do you keep
them for? Why don't You throw them
away"
Throw them away! And yet you
know very well that you never throw
anything away. You would not throw
away match that had been already
lighted You're so fond of saying, 1t
might come in handy.
"Well," said Mrs. Picket cit is true
that / never throw away things that
might come in handy, but hoyvcan old
hats ever come in handy? What sense is
there in piling up old hats which are OF
no use to any one when there are so
many poor creatures who walk the
streets barefooted?"
But" said Picket, they could not
wear my hats on their bare feet. "
II don't see anything funny i'll that, y
said Mrs. Picket Jelly. You know what
I mean. You needn't pretend that you
don't understand me. Why don't you
send for an old clothes man and sell
him your hats?'
81 never think of it. I"
I'D like 10 know what you do think
of. / don't think you think at all But
do as you please. Buy new hats; wear
them; don't wear them. It's your own
affair" Mrs. Picket concluded with
saving, You make me tired, " and she
retired from the room. slamming the
door with a violence which made the
| chandelier rattle.
"Such is married life" said the
| stupefied Picket, gazing after his wife.
whether do thing or don't do it,
| I am certain not to please my wife.
Take that new hat, for example! What
did you buy it for, said she, when yor
never wear it,? and the first day that
put it ON to go out she will be sure Il
say, What are you wearing your new
hat for when the other one is all RICH
still?'
Some days afterward Picket said t.
his wife, 81 am going out"
Indeed, 4" said Mrs. Picket. ''Wher'
are you going?"
II am going to see poor Marley, who
is ILL.,"
"And do you put on your new hat t.
sec poor Marley"
Just what expected you TO say.
remarked Picket. Eyes, that is what
am going to do. am going TO wear IN.
new hat. See?"
"Well, why don't you throw your ok
one in the closet with the others?"
| With rising rage Picket took mp hi
old hat opened the closet door an
hurled the hat into the closet.
There, said he, II hope you vii
give me rest ON this hat businessl"
THAT makes the twenty eighth, A" II
piled Mrs. Picket, with burst of sal
donic laughter.
Picket went out. he started towar
Marley's house, but he had scarcel
gone more than a couple Of blocks whe
1t began 10 rain.
"There, " said the unfortunate Picke
"Just my luck. Beginning to rain. GC
new hat on and no umbrella.
He started into a neighboring doc
way to wait until the shower shoul
cease, and as he did so a man carryin
a long plank on his shoulder turned an
swept the unfortunate Picket's hat froi
his head into the gutter.
Cursing like a pirate, the buckles
Picket pursued his new hat and rescue
| it from the gutter, much damaged an
covered with mud. A passing good =
marian stopped and said 60 him:
There's halter a couple of dooi
up the street there He will brush il o.
and touch it mp with the iron. and
will be all right.
Thank you, said Picket, and he r,
haired to the hatter's. When he had hi
hat polished, he stood upon the doorste
for a moment. and, not wishing agai
to expose his hat to the fury of the ell
ments, he determined to step into
| friendly restaurant next door. where J
would wait until the storm was over 4
went in, seated himself at a table, hun
ND his hat on one Of the hooks over h
head, ordered a sandwich and began