The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-02-07
MRS. M0RIARTY'S MATCH.
SHE MEET DxNIEL O'COyyELL AND
VAs ydN0UIsHED.
He Made a Wager That He Could Beat the
Dublin Sirago With Her own
Weapons and Won.

vas called TO the bar. his character and
| peculiar talents received rani1 recosni-
tl9n from all who were casually acquaint-
ed with him. His talent for vituperative
language was perceived. and by some he
was, even In those days. considered
matchless as a scold. However. there was
| al that time IN Dublin a certain woman
| biapy Moriarty, who had a huckster' s
| stau on one end OF the quay. nearly on
| posite the four Courts Size was a virago
Of the first order, very able with her
| tongue. From one end of Dublin TO tho
| other she was notorious for the movers
of abuse, and even in tho provinces Mrs.
! Moriarty's Language had passed into cur
| rcncy.
The dictionary OF Dublin slang has been
| considerably enlarged by her. and her
| Noluoleness had almost become proyerbia.
some or oConneil's friends. however.
| thought ne could beat her at the use OF
her own weapons. or this however. he
had some doubt himself when he had lis
| tened once or twice 10 some minor spoci-
mems Of her billingsgatc. Il was moote,,
| once whether the young Kerry barristor
could encounter her. and some one of the
| company I'm pconnclls presence rather
ridiculcd tho idea OF his being able TO
4 -ft-tt|Hf"f
Council never liked the idea of being nut
down, and confessed his readiness so
encounter her, and even backed himself
FOR the match. Bets were offered and
taken. ana IL was decided that the mat
ter should come of al once
The party adjourned 20 the hucEster's
stand, and there was the owner herself
experimenting the sale Of her small
wares
OConncll was very confident OF success.
He had laid a very ingenious plan for
overcoming her, and with al the ankle
~ of an ardent eXperimentalist waited to
put 1T TN practice AT this Time OCon-
nclls OWE party and the loungers about
the place formed an audience quite sufti-
Client 10 rouse Mrs Moriarty. on public
provOcation. 10 due exhibition Of her
powers. o'Conneh commenced the attack
by saying:
What's the price Of this walking stick
Mrs What s-yOur-name2
''Moriarty sir. is my name. and q good
one 1t is too and what have We Go say
agin it.? And one and sixpence Is the
price of the stick Trot, it's cheap as
dirt. so is IT,
zone and sxpcnce for such q walking
stick Nhew, Why. YOU are no better
than an impostcr 20 ask one and six
pence for what only cost twopence."
piled Mrs Biddy. DO you mean 10 say
that lis cheating the people L am? I'M
poster, indeed"
"Ay, imDOstcr; and it's that ! call you
TO your teeth replied OCornell.
Come, cut your stick, you cantanlSe-
rous iackanapes."
Keep a civn tongue I'm your head. you
old diagonal" replied O'Connell. calmly.
stop your jaw. you pug-nosod badger;
or. by this and that cried Mrs Morarty,
IN make you 80 quicker than you
came"
Don't Doe i'm passion my old radius
Anger will only wrinkle your beauty
BY hockey IL YOU say another word Of
inpudence I'm tan your dirty hide. you
heastly, common scrub. and sorry III be
10 soil my fist with your carcass"
Whey. boys. what a passion Old Bid
cy's in. / protest. ass ! am gentleman
Jintcman, iinfleman, The like Of you
a iinueman' Wisha. by gor. that bangs
Banagher. Why, you potato-laced pippin-
sneezcr where did a Madagascar monkey
like you pick up enough Of common Chris
tian deccncy 10 hide your Kerry brOgue%
Easy now" cried O'Connei. with inn
porturbable good humor. don't choke
yourself with fine language. you Old whis-
key-drinking parallelogram."
What's chat you cali me. YOU dirty.
murthermg Viiian2' roared Mrs. Mortar
Is. stung into fury
IF call you" answered O'Connell. "a
uarailelOgram and Il Dublin judge or jury
would say 81 was no libel TO call You So
"Oh. tare and ouns oh, holy Biddy, |
that an honest woman like me should be-
called 1t parry belly srums, you rascally
gallows-bird- cOwardly, anoaking, |
plate-lickirg blaggard"
"Oh, not YOU iudeed.' retorted O'Con- /
NELL why, ! suppose you'h deny that |
you keep "a hypOthenuse in your house, |
ITS lie Cor you, you bloody robbcr. /
/ never had such "a thing In my house, !
you bloody old Thief"
why all your neiehbors know very wsl |
that you not only keep q hyp0thcnuse. !
but that you have two Diane iers locked up /
inyour garnet. and that you 80 TO walk |
with them every sunday, you heartless |
Old heptagon.'
"Oh, hear that. ye saints in glory on. /
that's bad lgnguagc for q fellow who |
wants to pass himself of for a jintleman. /
MAY the devil fly away with YOU. you l
micher from Munster. and bake celery 4
sause from your rotten limbs
"Ah. you can't deny the charge. you
miserable suDmuluple OF a duplicate frac-
ton
Go rinse your mouth in the Lily you
words you speak. IL ought 10 be- hlthler
than your face you dirty chicken Of Bel
zebub."
Rinse your mouth. you wicked old /
polygOn. 10 the deuce ! pitch you. YOU
intersection or sinking super
huiues.'
You saucy tinker's apprentice, IL you
don't cease your jaw. III"
But here she sasped FOR breath, unable
10 hawk zap any more words. for the last
volley Of O'Connnell had nearly knocked
the wind out Of her.
whilst have a tongue i'n abuse Won,
YOU most inimitable periphery. Look a.
her. bows: there she stands-a coveted
iu petticoat. There's con-
IN nor circumference, and she
trembies with guilt down to the extremity !
OF her corollaries. Al, you're found out.
YOU rectilineal antccedent and equiangu-
lar Old hag, 'ris you the devil viii IFS
away with you porter swiping similtude
of a dissection Of a vortex"
Overwhelmed with this torrent Of Ian
guage. Mrs. Moriarty W&s silenced.
Catching up saucepan she was aiming
ID m O'Conneirs head, when ne, very pru-
IDENTIFY. made timely retreat.
You have Won the wager O'ConneuL"
cried the men who proposed the conti
Here's Jour be-