Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-08-27
WINNING THEWIDDER

''It grieves me all fired copious, (" OBJ
served Uncle Cy Clay, gravely eontem-
plating the quarter section of pancake
poised on the end of his fork, ''t' see
tn flirtatious carryin's ON o. this yere
yaller headed schoolmarm AN Doc Ev-
erett, more especial as she is al
ready spoke for by Jimmy Duval, an
doc is knowed t. be tn only husban an
father of "a interestin leetle fambly of
8 own, back in Ioway. But, then
well, we'll, they's no 'countin FIR tn ac-
tions of tn female sect more like ef
they happ'ns t. be O. tn flirtatious v'ri-
ETY., an they most all be.
"Ir'member one female in p'ticl an, Y
he continued after sending large swal-
low Of hot coffee i'll the wake of the de-
parted piece of pancake-"I r'member
one th't was sho' 'nough scand lous
Example o. what Gurus notions tn sect
will take an tn onaccountable things
they all IL do.
Twas back in Wyoming, in '67-
time O. tn Sweetwater 'xcitem mt, ye
know. Well, me an my two pardners
d ben minin out yere in Californy
awhile, an was doin well 'nough, but
jest's soon's tn rush come along it was
up stakes with us, same's lot b. 9TH
er fool miners, an off we goes t. th'
Sweetwater country, ole Bill Heatwole
an me an Ben-Ben Haskins, he was
tn youngest o us, an chockful o. tn
ole Harry's ever any boy you ever seen.
But white? That boy was white, he
sho' was, eff ever white man lived. Eff
e hadn't e "a ben yere now, more'n
likely.
"At Sweetwater, tn Widder Buck
KEEP a boardin house, an we all boards
with 'er, an we fed high too. But, say,
that widder was tn purtiest leetle crea-
ture ye ever seen. Want more'n "a Z
%, an had rosy cheeks an eyes th't d just
set y'r heart a-thumpin-black's any
coal an bright's di'm'nds. Well, she
did sho' drive tn boys crazy, an they
want hardly one o. 'em th't want
wild T. be tn landlord o. th't there
bean joint. Tn wust o. it all was tn t
they want none o. 'em but what, one
time + mother, was dead sure he was
goin t. s'ceed tn h'lamented Buck, which
was gone b'fore bout three years back
-f'r eff they ever was sho' 'nough
f1irt, twas th't same Widder Buck
She'd take up an smile sweet It ev'ry
new man th't showed up, ontell she had
i'm on tn string good an hard. Then
FIR th' next.
"But W 'en our Ben jumps in an be-
gins maxim love in real ser us shape, we
all begins to calc'late th't tn bloomin
widder is sho' ketched a lot, an reckons
they's goin t. be some splicin did in
that there camp fore Chris 'mas-w' en-
all of a suddint, along comes a lawyer
chap hailin from Salt Lake AN puts up
It tn Hotel de Widder Buck, thereby
causin hull lot o. grief in camp, cause
he hops in immediate an begins maxim
love t. tn landlady, her maxim no
objections as anybody knowed of.
"Yere's where Ben makes dead
wrong play; f'r, instead of stickin to is
guns, 'e right off makes jealous break
r two, causin row wi tn wilder,
quite natural Then off goes Ben an
hires out t. tn COVE nm mt fir scout
bout that time tn U. P. road was bein
built, an tn Ogalalla Sioux was maxim
'emselves real unpleasant, chargin round
an liftin section hans hair an sech
like playful leetle tricks. So. s 1 says,
Ben goes off in a huff an leaves tn run
min t. this yere Salt Lake maverick as
calls 'isself 'Jedge' Sherman an puts
an hull lot O. bogus airs an talks
book English. Say, it jest made us sick
it sho' did-th' way that there couple
spooned round. They was sew raj O. TIL
boys th't jest ached t. git Sherman intuh
a argymint an kill i'm up a lot. but
they never got no chance-th' Jedge
was too foxy, he was, an too smooth t.
get intuh open trouble.
''Jest about Chris mas time th' In
juns let up a few an lays low, tn
weather bein some cold an too many
sojers round them parts, an one mOrnin
tn widder gives it out th't she lays t.
go over t. Green River an enjoy 'erself
a lot-she was fever beefin bout all
work an no play. So, next day, off she
an tn Jedge goes, with a greaser named
Manuel driyin tn muel team. They d
Jest got acrost tn South Fork an was,
persoomable, quite conf table an happy,
wen, all of q suddint, Manuel lets out
a screech an jumps out of th' wagon,
hollerin th't Injuns was comm. Sher-
man looks out an sees a cloud o. dust
bout two mile away (they want no
snow ON tn ground), an he jumps out,
too, an in a holy second him an that
greaser had them muels cut loose an
was aboard 'em bittin the trail real
swift fir Green River. Course tn wild
der screeched after 'em, but, turn
round?-none whatever. Wy, that tar
nal skunk didn't even wave is hand
''Well, tn widder sits an weeps
quite copious FIR awhile, an then makes
up 'er mind th't she don't perpose t.
stay there an get scalped-none what
ever. So she piles out o. tn wagon an
makes sneak t git under tn bank an
then travels up toward tn dus' cloud,
figgerin tn Injuns d be most likely t.
look down stream instead Of up, but