The evening times., 1896-02-21
My Br0fher John.
BY JOSEPH THORON.

YOU who ! am. My name is Mary
Batcman. and my age is nineteen
years. As to where l live, that is an ir-
relevant question must own that what
ry friends say of my character is fairly
true; i am rather lively occasionally. and
especially fond of jokes. 1t is in reference
to this latter capacity that l tell you
this story.
If ever there was a vain. arrogant, self
opinonated young fellow, it is my brother
John. Bcccuse he happens to be about
four years older than myself, he lords it
over me-or tries to-something awful. 1
say '"ords;;' probably '.lorded' would be
more correct. as John has been fairly quiet
since the occurrence of what am about to
relate.
The airs and Importance that John as
sumes are not small, can assure you. He
fancies every girl he sees is after him."
according to his own idea, he is Il regular
'.lad dy-kiiier-simply irresistible. 1 see
you smiic. but it is perfectly true. Ibc!ieve
he is so vain that he thinks he only need pro-
pose to the highest princess TO be instantly
accepted.
For some time John had made me very
unhappy. First OF all, he wanted tn know
why that blair fellow was So often
HOuhe-IaHCyI ana
Mr.. Blair, the bankers clerk. is, am GER
tain, as fine young man as is to be seen
III oar townl Secondly, he would persist
in telling me that this girl and the other
who were my close friends, only came to
our house because, in reality, they We're
"after" himi
I got tired OF it at last, and determined
to teach him Il lesson on the quiet knew
the weekly paper very regularly, and had
a shrewd suspicion that he had once an
swered one; for l knew John was after
marrying someune who had money, IL he
possibly could, since our family was not
oyerburdened with that necessary article
of everyday life.
1t was, therefore, with much pleasure
that l beheld John, on the following Sat
day, eagerly scanning the subjuincd adver-
tisencnt:
MATRIMONIAL young orphan lady, age
twent y-five, fair, tall and considered very
prepossessing, wishes to correspond with a
goDd-lcoking gentleman OF about same
age; money not necessary on his part, as
She has about S25,0OO in bank. besides an
annual income of of S4,O00 from property.
Apply, in first instance, inclosing photo
tstrictiy confidcntiaD, to h. SO, Times Of
flee, Doncaster.
Under the pretense' of having some
business letters to write. John was very
busy in his room all the evening: and
smiled quietly TO myself when, later on,
saw one among them directed 20 X, 33,
as above. My pleasure and excitement were
not lessened when, on the following Tues
day morning there was letter come from
Doncaster for John Bateman, esq, and
written in a nice female hand.
Now how i know what was in these
letters and what happened, you will learn
afterward; suffice it to so on with my
story.
My brother John was to meet this ap-
parently very desirable young lady at Dom
caster Station, on the up-platfOrm. at 1:3O
on the following Thursday evening. She
would be known by wearing striped silk
handkerchief of particular colcrs ard
red rose in her bodice, while he was TO wear a
white tie with blue spots and a white rose
In his coat.
/ am not likely to forget for some time
how careful and punctiliOus John was on
that evening i'm dressing. Everybody in
the house and everything seemed in his
way, or ont OF sorts, somehow He got
into an awful rage because, while he was
fastening his shirt-neck. his collar stud fell
on the floor and rolled under the bed. He
got down on his hands and knees. strik-
ing matches and cropping about in a vain
endeavor to fiud it.
At last he had 10 come down stairs and
send Sarah, the servant, for another stud.
While waiting for her to return, he abused
US ALL right ard left, for being responsible
for the mislap, saying that the h olcs in his
shir,-butt onhoIcs, / mean-werc as big
as Ealfpcnny. and all those other wild
things which, as you doubtless know, men
DO say in su ch circumstances. Later on he
went into another frenzy because his cuffs,
SO he declared, were not stiff at all, but
''as soft as putty" whereas the truth was
he knocked his arm against the room door
on entering and quite doubled the cuff up,
which of course, ncccssi,ated his returning
ard putting on another pair
Naturally TO my father and mother all
this fuss ard noise were quite unexplain
able and annoying. To me and my sister
Martha il was the deepest enjoyment; only
we had to laugh quietly, ,sotospeak, or John
would have been simply awful.
No sooner ha my brother got well off 10
the station than Martha and myself arrayed
ourselves In as Disgusting garments as pos.
sible, I'd did likewise. We took good care
TO keep well out Of Johns sight. you ma y
be sure. and rs he was & the station at least
twenty minutes before the train set off for
Doncaster. we had ample time to effect our
plans. We simply went past the Great
Northern station whittier John had gone
and then on TO the Midland, whence we went
to Doncastcr by a rather more clrcuitous
route, il is true, but stiIl arriving five min-