The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-01-19
MIR. AND MRS. BOwsER.
MIR. BOwser DOns an Anticipated Plug
Hat-Of Course, 1t Was the Lady's
Fault.

Mr.. BOvser DOns an Antiquated Plug
Hat-Of Course, 1t Was the Lady's
Fault.
From the Detroit Free Press.
All husbands are always right and al
ways consistent, and Mr.. Bowser is no
exception to the rule. If things go all
right he congratulates himself that they
do. and lays it to his good judgment. If
things go wrong, some one else is to
blame for it, and it is more convenient to
lay it on Mrs. Bowser than any one ehsel
Not long ago Mr.. BowSer reached homefin
a rainStorm. He had his mind all made up
as to what he should say before he en-
tered the house, and as Mrs. Bowser met
him in the hall he glared at her in a stony
way and said: .I
perhaps you call to mind remario l
made as l left the house this morningRs
about the weather. she quered.
Eyes, ma'am, about the weather! Didn't
I say it would probably pour down in pints
and quarts and barrels before night? 1t
has done so, and l haven't a dry thread
on mel"
Then don't lose minute in getting into
dry clothes"
Never mind the dry clothes! 1 shall
probably have the pneumonia and die,
but that will be what you are looking for!
1t might have occurred to some wives,
when they saw their dear husband going
away without an umbrella, to"
y why. you took your umbrella along"
she interrupted.
"Of course, you did. Don't you remem-
Der dropping it at the door? You walked
right out of the office and left it there"
81 did, Ell? Why don't you call me
first-class idiot and be done with itn'
''You must have done so, for you surely
carried it away with you"
That's exactly what he did do, and he
knew he did, but he Squirmed out of it
by offering to bet her a million dollars to
a cent that the front door had been
left open all the afternoon, and that
hall thief had carried off half the stuff
down stairs.
One morning there was smell of gas
down cellar, and Mr.. Bowser went down
to see if he could discover a leak. He
put on an old hat kept for ''poking
around" and when he left the house he
wore it away, and it was only when the
boys down town began to Shoot that
hati' that he tumbled to it. Then he flew
back, with his eyes hanging out and his
face of plum color, and he was no
Look at ii, Mrs. Bowser-look at that
Internal old junkshop which you deliber-
ately saw me wear away on my head and
never said q word about it!'
did you wear that hat downtown?
Ibid Did To he shouted, as he banged
it on the floor and jumped on it.
But l didn't see you go. l was upstairs
when you left, Mr.. Bowser. You are very
absent-minded
II am, ell? It's a wonder don't forget
10 come home, isn't it? Mrs. BoWser if
as badly mismanaged as this, I'd like to
see it!''
wore your old hat away she protested.
That's it-thats it, Shoulder it off on
me! The papers talk about the startling
number of divorces. It's wonder to me
there are not five times as manyr'
one day Mr.. BowSer brought home pat
ent corkscrew which some fakir had sold
him, and Mrs. Bowser saw him drop it in
10 a Wall-pocket. A week later, after wan
dering around the house for half an hour
one evening, he halted before her and
said:
and padlocks and see if 1 can't have things
where l left them!
What is it now?"
''I brought home a can-opener a few days
ago and left it on a bracket in the dining
room. It's gone, of consequently given
away to some big. lazy tramp! It's won
der we have q thing lett IN the houset
"a can-opener?'
of a can opener, III hire someone to write
you out a history of 1t. 1t was invented
70 " WV we have two. or three in the
kitchen DO you mean a can opener?'
II don't mean windmills or thrashing
iii SYou had it in a pink paper@
az eS Vas is''t the day the man fixed the fur
nace?" .,
Wei saw you drop it in that wall
nocISet. and it is a corkscrew and not
can .lT+ Il en-? Perhaps 1 don't know a
ti+cbino most from the city hail." he
erowied as he reached for the parcel and
1nrolled it. It was a eorIkscrew. 1t was
%Didn't I tell your" queried Mrs. Bow
ser. 10 r,ois - - MO-. .,u,-
screw, and it's a can opener just as said
it vast ,,,
"It's a corkscreW!
'sIt's a can openerp
Ia ss long as Mr.. Bowser draws the
breath Of life he will stick to it, because
~ said SO in the first place.
ng ~; 1 other husbands, Mr.. Bowser is
- fl,' ygnr-ried ever tie safety of his wall
let while around the house. He has an