Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1896-05-07

Emily-Why are you waving your
handkerchief?
Ageline-Since papa has forbidden Tom
the house, we have arranged code of sig
nails.
Emily-What is it?
Angelina-When he waves his hand
kerchief five tim es that means do you
love me?" and when l wave frantically
in reply it means, eyes, darling"
Emi1y-And how do you ask other
questions?
Angelina-We don't. That's the
whole code.
Mrs Appolonia Pecher, of Mishaw-
aka, Ind, who celebrated her IoIst birth
day two weeks ago, saw George Wash
ing ton, although she does not contend
that she rem embers him. Her father
was a soldier under Washington and
When about three years old she was carri-
ed to see Washington and some of his off =
GERS when they were visiting near her
home in Pennsyl vania.
In speaking of her old enemy, ex-
Senator Ingalls,, Mrs. Lease said the 9TH
day: 81 don't believe there is any danger
of his being elected United States Sena-
tor, l will say, however, that the Re-
publicans might do worse. I will not at
tempt to prevent his election"
Mathematical calculations show that
an iron ship weighs tweuty-seven per,
cent less than wooden one, and will
carry us tons of cargo for every 100 tons
carried by wooden ship of the same
and both loaded to the same
draught of water.
Nell: I think will bleach my hair.
Belle: Nonsense; everybody will laugh
at you.
Nell: No; they won't know it. I'm
going to another town.
Belle: Doesn't matter. If you bleech
your hair you can't keep it dark.
-Uucle Silas, visiting the city: BY
ginger spruce, Mandy, here's suthin' we
gotter see.
Mandy: What's that, Silas?
Uncle Silas Why lookee here (reading
sign, "The only ba.dheaded
man alive with a full head of hair"
| wouldn't miss hit fer quarter.
They say Frenchmen are tond of
frogs legs,
81 suppose for the same reason that
the German loves beer"
"Same reason"
Certainly. They're both full of
nops"
New Yorker: tell you, Jones is just
coming money out in Omaha.
Travelling Englishman, overhearing
and writing in note book: Counterfeiting
is so extensively practiced in the United
States that the citizens openly speak of
it OIL the street.
Principal, to commercial traveller, re-
turning from his travels: How came you
to charge such low prices to Schmidt
who is well known to be shaky custo-
mer?
Commercial traveller: thought to my
self, if the man happens to fail we
shouldn't lose so much by him.
There was all unfortunate break at
wedding the other night. Instead OF
playing the wedding march after the
ceremony the organist struck up: "She
May Have Seen Better Days"
There is a danger in impure blood.
There is safety and health i'll Hoods
Sarsaparilla.
Mrs. Minks: Isn't it queer that such
a little bit of country as England can
rule such a vast amount of territory?
Mr.. Minks: Well, 1 don't know.
You're not very big yourself, my dear.
Family wines that rival the world in
excellence are from Specr's Passaic, n. j.,
Vineyards. The Claret, vintage 1881,
the Burgundy aud Port are very old supe
rior wines. The Port is especially for
invalids. The Climax Brandy is very
superior.
Nellie: Look at those pretty cows.
Maudie: They are not cows; they are
calves, dear.
Nellie: But what is the difference?
Maudie: Why, cows give milk and
calves give jelly.
English SPAWN Liniment Iemoves al
Lard, soft or calloused Jumps and blen
shes from horses, blood spavins, curhS
plints, sweeney, ringbone, STILES, sDraini
IL swollen throats, coughs, etc. Save
50 by use of one bottle. Warranted the
most wonderful Blemish Cure ever known.
Sold by J G. Redck.s
Guest pushing them away from him:
l don't like the way you cook eggs at
this restaurant.
Waiter What's the trouble, sir2
Guest: You don't cook them soon
enough.
1896 Chmdr. Braniy
From grape wine, has, by its extreme
age and constant care while In uniform
temperature and pure, sweet atmosphere
of storage houses for fourteen yearF, be-