davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
SCRANTON 1R1BUNE-sATURDAY MORNING, APRIL

anything about. Maybe I'd do better II
i could live my life over again, and
maybe I wouldn't. There's no telling.
But there's one thing I want to say.
I'm not all bad. I've got some good
streaks about me. ] have some idea Of
what's right and what's wrong, and no
man can say haven't any principle.
l want you to remember that. Whatever
you may say about me after it's all
over there's one thing don't want you
to forget I've lived up to my lights In
one way. ! never went back on my
country. No matter how things were
going with me I've done all that one
man could do to set good example In
one particular. I've lied. and cheated
and stole. and for all you know I have
counterfeited. and run or with other
mems wives. and killed my man, dozens
of times. I'm not saying whether have
or not. That's all passed and gone. But
all my life have been true to one prin.
ciple. Ever since ! was old enouRh to
know anything have believed, as do
now, In the final and complete triumph
OF one great doctrine. I am now, as l
nave always been, In favor Of the free
and unlimited coinage Of silver"
The mob made a wild rush.
In stories Of this kind this IL the point
az wnich the avengers usually make q
frantic and desperate break to get
away from the scene. leaving the ora :
tor to climb down from the barrel and
60 about his business: but the historian
ls compelled to record the fact that In
this instance nothing Of the kind took
place.
The mob made wild rush and strung
the orator up
He had spoken less than two minutes.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
GRAND WORK
FOR humanity
More People Cured BY Munyon's Rem
sdiss During The Past Week Than
By the Whole Medical Piuios-
sion IN Six Months.
Popular with the People Because
They Furnish a Remedy for Every
Disease. Cure Promptly and Per.
mansntly and Are Only IS Cents .
Bottle.

Mr.. f. L. Booz. West Chester, Pa, says:
II was a sufferer from that most un-
pleasant ailment. dyspepsia. for long
time and found no medicine that gave me
relief until o friend recommended Nun,
yon's Remedy. Two bottles have cured
me. My wife also found great relief in
Munyon's Rheumatism Cure"
Mrs. Sue A. Mowery, Of Spruce HILL
Juniata county. Pa. says: II have used
two bottles Of Munyon's Rheumatism
Cure and now have no pain at all. l am
very much pleased with it,
Munyon's rheumatism Cure seldom
fails to relieve in one to three hours. and
cures ] in few Tlay:, days: Price 2sc' ,os,,,,.,v
cures all forms of indigestion and stom-
ach trouble. Price. Is cents.
Munyon's Cold Cure prevents pneumonia
and breaks up cold In few hours.
Price. % cents.
Munyon's Cough Cure stops coughs,
night sweats. allays soreness, and speedily
heals the lungs. Price. % cents.
Munyon's Kidney Cure speedily cures
forms Of kidney disease. Price. Is cents.
Munyon's Headache Cure stops head
ache In three minutes. Price, % cents.
Munyon's Pile Ointment positively cures
all forms Of piles. Price. 25c.
purities Of the blood. Price. 25 cents.
Munyon's Female Remedies are boon
to all women.
Munyon's Asthma Cure with Herbs, 81.
Munyon's Catarrh Remedies never fail.
The Catarrh Cure-price 2jc.-eradicates
the disease from the system. and the
Catarrh Tablets-price 25c.--cleanse and
heal the parts.
Munyon's Vitalizer restores lost powers
to weak men. Price, 81.
Munyon's Remedies NJ all druggists,
mostly a5 cents q vial.
Personal letters to Prof. Mnnyon. 1905
Arch street. Philadelphia, Pa. answered
with free medical advice for any disease.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
NO TIME WASTED.
a Aansss Widow Who Liked Men Who
Knew Their Own Minds.

A Kansas Widow Who Liked Men Who
Knew Their Own Minds
A COW and mule were harnessod TO.
gether and hitched to q plow. and a wo.
man was holding the piow and ripping
tue SOIL OF Kansas up the back At
great rate as rode aiong the highway.
! matted to watch the novel eight. and
the woman stopped her team and came
striding across the burrows to say:
shanty?" 'AS
"hes. stopped for q drink"
was the children all right"
i saw seven or eight playing ON the
grass and having a good time. Where ,
the old man."
"Pegged out last fall"
DO you mean he died?"
Didn't do nuthin' else fur about three
months. and finally got there. Yes, he's
gone to better land, and I'm working
to pay of his debts"
rhen you are q widow, Of course?''
"Cartinly. Coin to settle out here?"
Possibly"
Married."
mo"
Want me?"
NO"
stranger, shake!" she exclaimed al
she came nearerand extended her hand
You ar a crltter as knows your gait
you ar, and It does me good to NEE,
you. Lands alive. but the men whC
come along here don't know nun t.
pound sand. and waste about three
days a week on 'em! want a critter
to say yes or no right off the handle and
hev done with 1t. So you don't want
me and the young 'uns and the mule
and the COW and the claim"
No. ma am
"'Nur sed-so long-gee up thar
you critters. and git around the Held
afOre another feller comes along!"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11

plates were Clipped and cracked, the
spoons and forks had long ago lost
any plating they might have possessed;
thick mugs took the place of glasses,
and as Gertrude looked vainly for
serviette, she noticed that all traces Of
comfort had been removed from the
coach, leaving its match. boarding bare
and ugly.
Il don't believe in the use of animals
for food. SIR" Seccombe said, apollo.
getically,, as Jarvis entered with the
soup, "and my daughter-who shares
my opinions-and l live entirely upon
q vegetarian diet"
Your daughter, at least, seems to
thrive upon it." answered Foxwell with
sickly gallantry. looking at Gertrude,
who moved uneasily in her chair. see
ing clearly that her fathers comedy
had already gone too far to be stopped
by any protest un her part.
Jarvis set down the soup: trembling.
Gertrude raised the first spoonful to her
lips. 1t was like greasy pink water,
with faint flavoring Of onion that had
done duty in countless previous soups,
which was almost overpowered by a
dash Of tartaric acid.
This Is tomato soup, sir" said Sec
combe. Il hope you like it."
"Pah!" said Foxwell, at Is disgust
Ing"
A haricot and tomato pie followed,
and again the strong taste Of tartaric
acid contracted Gertrudes throat and
filed her eyes with water; the paste
was like plaster of paris.
This was made on thoroughly hy-
gienic and vegetarian principles, sir"
said seccombe: mo fat, only -four and
C0c0Qnuf huftar - n q ho f3,iol, al bts ,,ta
with every sign of thorough enjoyment.
1T might be covered with stone"
Foxwell exclaimed. angrily, vainly
trying to break the crust upon his
plate. His fork slipped. and plate and
pie rolled on the floor "Hang!" he
shouted. glaring at Seccombe, who
smiled blandly. Gertrude's eyes were
resolutely fixed upon O grease spot on
the tablecloth.
A cheese pudding. consisting Of sew
eral singed Jumps Of cheese imbedded
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
THEY DID NOT MELT AWAY.
The Unexpected Result OF q Declaration
nf l'nnlfcra bic princinlc.

The Unexpected Result Of q Declaration
Of Cnaltcrablc Principle.
From the Chicago Tribune.
IF you want to say anything before
We jerk you up" announced the leader
of the Arizona Regulators, when all was
in readiness. well listen to you.
The stolid face Of the condemned
horse thief lit up with a sudden gleam
Of hope.
"Will you give me five minutes?" he
asked.
Yes. Go ahead
Men" he said. Strengthening himself
up and looking with a piercing eye over
the crowd or rough, desperate
frontiersmen. Il know well enough
my times come. I'm not go-
ing to do any begging for mercy.
It's too late for that now. I've been q
tough lot In my time. I've been more
kinds of scoundrel than you know
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
PART II.

Percival Foxweil accepted the invi-
tation to dinner. e-. .--
THE girl IL most SUPERIOR" he said
TO himself. "but the father. expect. Is
Of q different stamp. One SO often sees
that sort of thing nowadays, SUPER
fetal refinement In the second genera.
tion, the gift Of the board schools. COW
ering innate commonness OF mind. the
gift Of the parents" Mr.. Foxwell had
conveniently forgotten the existence OF
his father, the worthy 'soap-boiler.
whose strident tones. innocent alike OF
aspirates or grammar. were even then
achoing through the stables at Mel
drum hall.
"well, my man. how are you?" Fox
well asked, patronlzingly. as he clam
bered up the steps into the caravan,
Il am very pleased to dine with you.
very pleased. ] suppose. though. you
call 1t supper when you are by your
selves"
Philip Seccombe frowned. then said.
humbly: 1T is very kind Of you. sir.
to honor US. My daughter told me how
interested you We're in our caravan,
and ] thought you might care to see
how We lived, so l presumed to ask
"Oh, that is all right, my good fell
low." Foxwell answered.
At this moment Gertrude entered.
With a start Of surprise she noted that
her father was wearing a red flannel
shirt with no collar that a coarse
brown cloth was spread upon the table,
and that, In place of the usual candles
q f1artng paraffin hanging on the wall
was making the atmosphere nauseous
and unbearable. One glance at Sec
combe's face gave the explanation. He
q n q q
Mr.. Foxwell took q seat at the table
unlimited, his air Of aggressive patron
age growing more pronounced. Sec.
combe saw Gertrude's involuntary in
dignation, and smiled to himself. The
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
A President on brandy for sickness.

The president OF the Baltimore Medical
college, who has thoroughly tested Speer's
wines and brandy. says:
am prepared to bear testimony to the
value OF Speer's Climax Brandy as q
pure and valuable article In all cases OF
disease In which q reliable stimulant is
required. I regard It superior to most
French brandies. Harvey l.. BYRD, NJ. y.
President and Professor Of Obstetrics
and Disease Of Women and Children Hal.
ttmore Medical college,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
MistOok Him.

4 noted duellist was introduced 10 Col.
oncl A.
Noted DuelIst-"IIappy to make your ac.
Quaintance, sir."' .r..
A moment later, being very much pug.
Zlel, he says to himself:
"By love. didn't kill that fellow some
where In duel."--Texas Siftings.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
Evidence.

Husband lin the early dawn)-"It must
be time to get up"
Wife-"Why?'
Husband-"Baby has Just fallen asleep"
Truth
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
HALSTEAD ANSWERED,


"The best retort that Murat Halstead
ever received. is said by the Collector
and Commercial Lawyer, Of Detroit, to
have been the one which 1t describes as
follows:
"The old law firm of Goldsmith, Col
ston. Hoadley a. Johnson was one OF Mr..
Halstead's pet subjects for sarcasm. po-
litcally and otherwise. He caught up a
phrase which was attributed to the Junior
partner of the firm. Mr.. Johnson, and
after calling him a shining ornament Of
the Cincinnati bar for some time. the
brilliant Mr.. Halstead went further and
publicly dubbed Mr.. Johnson the brass
ornament Of the Cincinnati bar This
phrase was SO attractive to Mr.. Halstead
that he never hesitated to use 1t in every
possible way. HalStead'S day Of reckon
ing came. however.
AT an evening gathering, Mr.. Hal
stead. who was very susceptible to the
charms Of the fair sex, saw a handsome
woman In the crowd superbly dressed.
and with diamonds on her bosom and in
her hair that would at once attract atten-
ton. He begged to be presented. and
was.to Mrs. johnson. 1t did not present
itself to Mr.. Halsteads mind, perhaps a
little less steady ut the time than usual,
who the lady might be. He was curious
about her.
johnson, Johnson" he repeated. Il
have never had the pleasure OF meeting
YOU before. Mrs. Johnson. Do You live in
OhioT
40. yes.' replied the lady, brimming
over with smiles: i live In Cinclnnati.'
"'Indeed! said Mr.. Halstead, quite as.
tonished. May inquire of what family
Of Johnsons you are?'
."The smiles were more than merry this
time.
"'Mr. Halstead.' she replied, for fl%een
years have been trying to polish up the
brass ornament Of the Cincinnati bar! ="
HE COULDN'T SAY.
f. B. Green. Of Ottumwa, Ia., tells a
good story to the Washington Star about
Judge Hendershott. Of that city, one Of the
leadlng lawyers of the Hawkeye state.
stIudRe Henderahotf soi1 Mr praar
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
SYNOPSIS.


Phillip Seccombe. a wealthy Englishman.
Bne Of whose grandmothers was a gypsy,
and his daughter. Gertrude. spend their
summer travelling about England In a car
avan Of three coaches, fitted up as sleep
ing and cooking apartments. Their vim
ters they spend at the fashionable resorts
On the continent. One day, when the cara
van Is drawn up at the roadside. Gertrude
ing life. Her father, on questioning her.
discovers that she has been won over to
conventionality by Percival Foxwell.
whose father, a rich soapboiler. has pur-
chased a handsome estate near which
they are camped. Gertrude had climbed a
tree to get O flower, had been caught by
her dress, and rescued by young Foxwell.
who had lectured her on propriety. She
has become greatly interested In him, ana
resents her fathers suggestion that she
ought to marry her cousin Archdale. who
is In love with her. So her father decides
10 ask Foxwell to dine with them.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11

WHAT HE COULDN'T TEACH. ,
81 can teach you law. sir, but / cannot
teach you manners" said an eXasperate
counsel to small. meek witness.
The latter replied quietly: THAT Is so.
SIR" and people laughed consumedly.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11

was trying . case under the prohibition
law. An important question was raised IS
to whether or not a barrel Of whisky Was
delivered to the defendant.
/ AN lrishman by the name of O'Connor
was the drayman. and when Judge Hen
dershott started to cross-examine him he
concluded to frighten him into contradict
ing his testimony ON the examination-in.
chief Assuming dramatic pose. and
with q stern voice. he said: Remember.
sir, you are on your oath. Remember. you
have sworn to tell the truth. the whole
truth. and nothing but the truth. Remem-
Der. that to deviate one iota from the
truth Is perjury. and the punishment for
perjury Is Imprisonment in the state pen.
itentiary Of Iowa. Now. sir. upon your
cath. did you deliver that barrel Of whisky
to Pat Duffy?
1.-THE lrishman answered coolly and de-
her ,tely. Well. jedge. bein' on my oath.
faith couldn't say. l delivered a bar'l at
Mr.. Duffy's place. On one ind of tina bari
was marked pat Duffy" on the ither ind
was marked whisky" but bein' on me
oath. couldn't say whether Pat Duffy or
whisky was in the bar'l'
ssTha dafap1anf uaS convict Oh
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
Some Tales Told
Outside of Court.
CAUGHT THE JUROR.

DR.. Robert ID. Sheppard, business agent
Of the Northwestern university. relates
story of how he once won a lawsuit which
illustrates the manner In which lawyers
sometimes adapt themselves to their
juries.
''There was no question:" said DR.. Shep.
pard, but that l was in the right Of the
case. The evidence was conclusive, the
law was on my side, and when my at
torney arose to make his opening address
he thought he had the case won. He
briefly reviewed the evidence, stated the
law in the case, and was about to close
his argument when he noticed that one Of
the jurors, stolid old farmer. did not
seem to be with him. The other eleven
men had already decided the case in their
own minds, but the farmer had a sluggish,
set expression on his countenance which
BODIED no good for me or my case. Again
the lawyer reviewed the evidence, address,
ing his remarks entirely to this one man,
stolid expression still occupied the mans
face, and he seemed as little likely to be
moved as the court house In which the
trial was taking place. The attorney tried
all kinds OF arguments, and finally, when
he was about giving up in despair, q happy
thought struck him. He repeated again
the bare facts, and when he came to a
place where the person opposing me had
made an egregiols error In Judgment, he
leaned over to the old farmer and said:
And Iwant to tell you. my friend, that
there's where he dropped his water-
melon
1.-THE old farmers face lighted up and
from that moment the case was won. The
jury was out less than five minutes. and
brought back q verdict for all that I had
asked"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
INTERRUPTION BY THE COURT.

PATERNAL ADVICE REMEMBERED.
The writer was present in court when
the following amusing passage took place
between counsel and witness in dis
puted will case:
: ibid your father give You no parting
admonition?"
HE never gave much away at any
time"
II mean to say, what were his last
words?'
. 'They don't consarn you"
"They not only concern me, sir' re-
marked the barrister, severely, "but they
concern the whole court"
"Oh, all right!' was the reply. "Father
said: Don't have no trouble when I'm
gone. Jim. eos lawyers Is the biggest
thieves unhung"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11
HE CouLpN,r SAY.

E.. B. Green, Of ottumwa, Ia, tells a
good story to the Washington Star about
leading lawyers of the Hawkeye state.
Judge Hendershott," said Mr.. Green.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-11

For sale BY MATTHEWS BROS, Drussl
Scranton, Pa.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-06-01
DEMORALIZING FREIGHT RATES
Action of the LAX Michigan Car Ferr!
Company Promises Trouble.

Action of the Lake Michigan Car Ferry
Company Promises Trouble,
CHICAGO, June Lake Michigan
car ferry companies are now engaged in
q freight rate war that threatens to de-
moralize rates all over the west. The
Lake Michigan and Superior Transit
company has taken steps to protect the
differentials which it has enjoyed here
tofore and to protect it's interests against
the Lake Michigan Car Ferry Trans
portation company which disputes the
right of its rival to have any diferen-
tails whatever. So far the fight con-
Germs only freight passing between Chi
a and st. Paul. The Chicago Great
Western road is inclined to dispute
the right of the transportation company
to any differentials, and will meet any
rates it may put into effect. The fight
is growing very bitter and the chances
are that it will drag the Western roads
into the tronble before long.
In addition to the Great Western, the
Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul have
met, and the Wisconsin Central an
nounces their intention to meet the Chi
cago-St. Paul rates to be put into effect
by the Lake Michigan Car Ferry Trans
portation company. The Chicago, Rock
Island & Pacific and the Burlington q
Quincy are expected to follow the exam
pie within a few days.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-06-01
The Western Passenger Association

The Western Passenger Association is
az .iu after the scalps OF the scalpers.
Beginning June lst all association lines
will adopt the punch descriptive form OF
mileage tickets, and agents will be re-
quired to take a duplicate OF each and
every purchasers signature, which will
be sent to the general office. All detach'
ments made by conductors are to be for
warded to the office OF the
chairman OF the association, and
signatures of mileage owners are to be
checked with the duplicate on file. 1t is
thus calculated that any fraud or decep'
ton connected with the use OF the mile,
age book-aud here is where the
scapler's OK Is gored-can be more easily
detected and in the end radically checked
by the wholesale cancellation il neces.
sary Of mileage tickets. BY the new
policy the $40 refund on covers Of 2,OOC
mile books will he made through the
office of the chairman and and not di
reotly by the agents. In preparation fol
this new orCer Of things all The
agents have received orders tC
send IN all unsold books on hand, also {
list Of books sold from the first of Janu
airy to the first of June.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-06-01

Washington dispatch, %: Hon. Bart
lett Trip, Of South Dakota, United
States minister to Austria, who is here
with Mrs. Trip, vas entertained by
Senator Pettigrew at his residence last
night and tonight. Representative and
Mrs. Gamble gave a swell dinner in their
honor at the Normandie. The senate
committee on military affairs to-day
made d favorable report IN Mr.. Petit.
CREWS bill appropristing $4,000 for the
establishment of a northern branch
soldiers home at Hot Springs, S. D..
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-06-01
DECIDES AGAINST ENGLAND.
Frances Position Regarding the Soudan
csc Invasion Upheld.

Frances Position Regarding the Soudan-
csc Invasion Upheld.
LONDON, June IA Cairo dispatch
to The Times says: The decision of
the mixed tribunal is al open secret,
although it will not be delivered until
Monday. 1t will support the French
contention, and thus virtually decide
that the Egyptian government cannot
make war against the khalifa, or even
| resist a Soudanese invasion without the
| consent of each member of the debt
commission
The case before the mixed tribunal
was a suit by the French and Russian
members of the Egyptian debt commits
sion against q decision of a majority Of
the commission to appropriate the sur
plus Of the Egyptian debt for the Mile
expedition. The French contention
was that it required q unanimous vott
of the commission to authorize this ex
penditrre, and not the vote of q mer'
majority Of the commission.
Did you ever think how readily th'
blood il poisoned by constipation? Bat
blood means bad health and prematur
old age. DeWitt's Little Early Riserl
the famous little pills, overcome obstin
ate constipation. FRANK SMITH.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-06-01

Pierre Journal, %: Hon. G.. G.
Moody and wife are in the city and reg
istered ut the Locke. While the hair
and beard OF the senator have whitened
somewhat since the campaign OF 1883
when be and Senator Pettigrew were
named by the legislature Of the state OF
South Dakota as the first senators OF
the new commonwealth time has,
nevertheless, dealt kindly with him
The fire still flashes in his eye and his
mental vigor is uni,npaired. He comes
to Pierre to argue some important cases
before the supreme court. The ex ena
tor is credited with the ambition to cap
lure the seat in the American house OF
lords which he lost to Kyle six years ago
the.coming winter.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-06-01

A district, non-partisan, prohibition
convention for the counties OF Lake,
Moody, Minnehaha, Miner and Kings
bury will be held in this city tomorrow
and Wednesday, in which all churches,
temperance societies, Sunday schools,
young peoples societies, Christian
citizenship leagues and noE-partisan
prohibition Unions are entitled to n
delegate for every 90 in membership
thereof. A. NJ. Haswell, national secre-
tary OF the c. e. Leagues willb present.
Following Is the program:
VICTORIES and defeat of prohibition
j. p. Jenkins, II. E. Norton.
Utter failure OF all restrictive
measures" A. r. Wolff, D. D., G.. G.
Coffee.
1.-The saloon Us. school," Prof. r. b.
McClenon, Miss j. NJ. J. Pryne.
Relation of the w. G. Il. U. to the
work." Mrs. NJ. j. Bagley, Mrs. Helen
Gay.
The saloon in politics." Hon. Knute
Lewis, William Herdcastle.
The saloon at wal with our Institu'
tions,"S. F. Huntley, w. w. Coffee.
THE Saloon Antagonistio to :Busi
ness" Hon. q. A. Uline.
1.-THE saloon a destroyer always" E. L
Dresser, j. 0. Dobson, D. D.
Ammunition Of the foe" Miss Kar'
Smart, w. A. Taylor.
"Our ammunition"-D Organize
tons, Mrs. NJ. E. Sheldon; a. Litera
ture, G. T. Notson; (3) Workers, Geo. w
Crater; A. Enforcement Of Law, G. c
Moe.
1.-THE kind of men needed in Office" n
Fswell, A. 0. Mortvedt.
"Plsns for financial support Of tn
work." A, E. Carhart, state presiden,
practical Methods" A. o. PHILIPPE. A
r. Fischer.