The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-08-06
TRTBUNETS.

HI BU N Els
indianapolis Journal: lyon are charges,o
said the Judge to the man whose new wheel
had run away with him, with riding your
wheel through the streets at a rate exceeding
10 miles an hour"
Ten miles! 10 miles! I'll bet was going
30Ol"
Chicago Ne,cs: Miss Kingsley. the African
Traveller, gives an amusing account of the be-
ginning of her love Of adventure. She was as
Canary Islands, and hearing every dreadful
accounts OF the dangers and horrors of travel
ing in West Africa" she felt that she must 90
out of mere feminine curiosity. She continues:
" / asked man who knew the country what
should find most useful to take out with me,
and he replied An introduction to the Wes-
leyan Mission, because they have fine hearse
and plumes at the station. and would be able
to give you grand funeral"
60
Though Canada received over 100000 for
eign immigrants from 1881 to 1891, her foreign
born population only increased 36,0i4 the re-
mainder of the foreigners coming to the United
States, together with 392, 303 uatiye-born Cana
dams.
-
A musical conductor seems the most I'M
grateful OF men. lie lives on "time" and yet
is constantly beating it.
Time out of mind" that we hear so much
of, must have been general crazy time.
-.
II don't need clock at my country house
| have fine Plymouth Rock rooster that wakes
US up every morning at exactly the right min
ute by his loud growing"
"Ah, see. He's a regular croc-nometer
Entirely different from a clock, to wind-ups
concern is to stop it.
It is a waste Of time to give good reasons to
many of the Popocrats. They would much
rather the country die under their remedies"
than be saved by anybody else's.
x*x
Don't be gloomy, felEew-citizens. Some OF
these days Pasteur will discover the microbs
that makes men go crazy on economic and fnan-
ciaI questions, and the moment a man begins to
maunder about Free Silver or Free Trade he
will be promptly treated and restored tohealth
and sanity before he has an opportunity to in
feet his neighbors.
The doctors used to conceal other things than
the nature of-tbe ingredients under the Latin
OF their prescriptions. One of the mystic sen
fences among the directions" WIS a warming
TO the apothecary-"Ne tradas sine nun,aao -
or, as it was frequently abbreviated, N rs
N.-"do not deliver the medicine without the
money"
The songs sung at ST. Louis indicate that the
Populists are as bad bungTers with meter and
the English language as with financial ques-
tons. No one bat a man whose clothes didn't
ht, and whose voice was sun warped, would
ever try TO sing them.
New York Sun: Uncle George, what Is
good conyersatiGnalist ?"
well Dickie, it's the woman who gets tho
first start"
Life:
natural manner was her aim,
Sincere and simple. and all that.
She failed. but she not to blame,
For she resided in A fiat.
s=s
YoHkers Gazette: The man who is wrsppsd
Up IN himself is amply justified IN finding
ault with his surroundings.
x*x
indianapolis Journal: "The Goldfish said
he Professor, "lays more than I, 100000 eggs"
1t is mighty lucky for the Goldfish that she
loesn't have to cackle over every egg" said the
10Y who had been raised on a farm"
Pittsburg Balletia: Jimmy-You're afraid 10
ight; that's what's the matter.
Tommy-No, I amt; but If I fight my
mother will know it and lick me.
Jimmy-How'l she find out?
Tommy-Shell see the doctor going to yoar
l0use.
indianapolis Journal: Is Your fae." said tfs
Judge, will be 81 and costs"
Cant you make it SO cents?1 asked ths
sdy who had been arrested for riding her cycle
fter dark without light.
Texas siittinqs: A Receiving Tsllsr-a gossipy