The Monitor-register., 1896-11-20
A LITTLE FUN.

A LITTLE FUN.
Caller (Looking at picture)-"Does
1our mamma paint?"
Little Son-"Yes; but she's flushed
hat an is putin on powder now. She'll
10 down in minute.''-London TIT Bits
~
She-Why. you foolish boy, If married
you you wouldn't be able even to dress |
ne.
He-Well-er-could I Learnt
Life.
She-Are you sure that it was a year
ago to-day that We became engaged,
dearp
"Yes; looked it up 10 my check book
this morning Life
~.
care you angry, Miss Spitely1" Pm
engaged. Pm going to make that mans
life miserable, If have to marry him to
do it."-Detrost Free Press.
Sc
She-"I think a girl looks awfully
cheap when she first becomes engaged. "
He-"She may look cheap. but you can
bet she's not. - Yonkers States0aGn.
~
Hell thought young widow Westside
was sternly opposed to second marriages
She-Oh, she justifies herself by saying
that her first was only sample.-Butal0
Times.
ETERNITY is a long time" said the
earnest man in black, in the course of his
remarks:
"Yes," asserted Tread ell, politely,
''some Of us fellows will have time to
burn. IN. 2. Sun.
~
"Well, Pm even with Racksy at last"
Slows that?"
'.Induced him to join football team,
and he's lightweight, you know
Detroit Free Prose-.
50
Hewitt-"Our servant lighted the fire
with kerosene the other morning"
Jswett-"Did you discharge herr"
Hewitt-'We haven't found her yet"
IN T. World.
~
She-"Do you suppose his wife really
supports him?"
He-"I judge So He told me he didn't
know what real happiness meant until he
got married. PUCK.
-
Scorcher-Thirty dollars, eh? That's
nothing. had bicycle suit that cost
| q, 900.
Tandem-Who took your measured
Scorcher-A jury.
-
"And you four brothers were named
Edmund, Edgar, Edward and Edwin,
were you? What could have been your
parents object In doing thatP"
"They wanted to keep US from ever
being nick-named."
IBID 1t have that enectr'
Mot exactly. We've always been
called Chuck, Smokey, Flipps and Pill
garlic. - Chicago Tribune.
~
Shayue-Wbat do you think Of 9 man
who will bury a wife and three children
| in the afternoon and go to the theatre at
| nightp
Warden-He's brute.
Shayne-No; he's an undsrtsker.-N.
?. Journal.
~
81 can't imagine q man doing . sillier
thing than to quarrel with a woman"
II can"
"Whatf"
"Refuse to quar- ell when she wants to. !"
Detroit NsOs.
Teacher-"Billy, can you tell the differ
enoe between caution and cowardicea"
Billy-"Yes, ma'am. When you're
afraid yourself then that's caution. But
when the other fellows afraid, that's
Icowardice. ''-H0rper's Bazar.
.s s.sx*4
| The Cook-"Piease, mum, will ye lend
me yer watch fer ter bile the aigsf''
Mistress why, Mary, you have a
clock In the kitchen haven't your"
Cook-s'Yes, mum; but the clock is
SLOW, mum."-Judge.
~
/ see there is talk of pensioning old
maids" he said.
"But q pension isn't what want" she
returned shyly.
And 30 1t come about that she got o
husband Chicago Post.
x*x
ais there no way to convince you," he
pleaded, shat would do anything in
the world to make you happy"
"Yes," she coldly replied; "Ret a move
on you before become q total wreck
from loss OF sleep" Cleveland Dealer.
~
81 frankly admit" said the meek little
member Of the sewing society, shat
have but little influence over my hus-
band"
UPahawpS exolaimad the hleaohed