davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03
RICH, RARE, RACY ROASTS.

The following is from the pen of Ed Hoch
of the Marion Record, one of the leading Re-
publican papers of the state:
The DEVILS idea OF harmony is for Won TO
surrender to him.
"Ohio Republicans didn't have to wait till
the national convention told them what to
believe.
Governor Morrill, is to lecture on the Good
Old Times. We suppose he will tell of the
good old times when official oaths meant some
thing, and official spinal columns were not
made of India rubber.
''We have hardly seen so many drunken men
altogether in Kansas in fifteen years as we saw
the night after the state convention in Wichita
They were celebrating Marsh Murdock's VIC
tory. 1t is mighty poor sort of victory that
is celebrated in that way.
we have no opinions, and think it best not
to have any till somebody tells what to believe,
seems to have beer the notion controlling the
platform makers at the late Republican state
convention. Aud the old war-horse George
T. Anthony, was chairman of the committee,
too. How the mighty have fallen
clad President Lincoln during the war,
called some leading member of the Knights of
the Golden Circle to the position of secretary
of war, he would have only done what the
Morrill, administration has done on a smaller
scale in making prominent member of the
Mystic Brotherhood chief of police of Wichita
1t was an insult to every law-abding citizen of
Kansas. 1t was a premium put on anarchy
"When George r. Anthony was governor of
Kansas and candidate for nomination, he sent
the militia to Emporia to enforce the law. At
terward, we saw him face an angry audience o.
Kissing, hootng, bowling opponents, and,
shaking his fist in their faces, he shouted: If
you want governor VINO will not enforce the
law, you will have to elect some one else
Ever since that time, we have admired George
II. Anthony. But how Inundated we felt
when we saw this same Anthony stand up be-
fore that great audience at Wichita and read
resolution of his own writing, commencing the
present weak, vacillating, rebel-fearing, cring-
ing administration as one that commands re-
spect at home and confidence abroad when he
and every delegate in the convention knew it
commands nothing of the Sort
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03
BEYOND
BY DOROTHY DoLlTTLE

1t seemeth such little way to me
Across to that strange country the Beyond
And yet not strange, for it has grown to be
The home OF those Of whom am fond
They make 1t seem familiar and most dear
As lourneying friends bring distant countries
near.
So close it lies that when my sight is clear
think see the glirnmering strand
| know, | feel, that those whoye gone from
here
Come near enough to touch my hand
| often think, but for our yelled eyes,
We should find heaven right around us lies.
| cannot make it seem day to dread
When from this dear earth shall journey out
10 that still dearer country of the dead,
And join the lost ones so long dreamed about.
love this world, yet shall love to go
And meet the friends who wait for NE, know
| never stand about bier and see
The seal of death on SOME well-beoved face,
But what think, Zone move to welcome me
When shall cross the intervening space
Between this land and that one over there
One more to make the strange beyond seem fair"
And SO for NE there is no sting to death;
And so the grave has lost its victory.
1t is but crossing with deep bated breath
And white, set face, little strip Of sea,
TO find the loved ones waiting on the shore,
More beautiful, more precious than before.
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

BROTHER AND SISTER WORKERS: Owing
to severe illness, have been unable to answer
calls for medals. In fact had to lay aside all
mental work for while. So, you who have
not received medals ordered, be patient Just a
few day longer, and the work will again be
forging ahead Push the work, and your med,
ais SHALL COME.
Your Co-worker ANNA CHAMPE
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03
PRICES TO FIT THE TIMES.

Considering the low price of all farm products
and the scarcity of employment for labor,
will make deeds, mortgages and conveyances
in general requiring Acknowledgements for
THIRTY CENTS per instrument. Office over the
Bank of Garnett. w. i. MELLEN,
Notary Public.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

shed many briny tears and lost nights of sleep
over the course mapped out by our erring
brother. 1t is not likely that we shall again
take occasin to mention the Ledger, politically,
for there's bigger game in sight, but we entreat
our dear brother to retrace his steps and get on
the right track
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

THE Rev. DR.. Brooks, of St. Louis, prophe-
sizes that the most momentous industrial strike
in the worlds history will soon be inaugurated,
and that it will overthrow the American gov
eminent within the next six months.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

OUR old friend Jasp>r J.. Brown, of Oswego,
N ", sends us clipping from one of his home
papers which shows that the silver sentiment
in that part of the country is not only not dy-
ing, but is rapidly gaining. The silver forces
there are in dead earnest.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

ANY county, in any state, wanting bright
young Populist lawyer, who is speaker of
ability, and now on the list of reform lecturers
at Populist headquars at Indianapolis, should
correspond with B. F. Barnett, Salem, Ind.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03
THE CHICAGO BRoADsIDE

Is red-hot, all-wool and-ayard- wide Pop pa
per, chock-full of the hottest kind of hot stuff,
Three months on trial, rs cents; samples free.
Address NORMAN RApALEE,
92I w. Polk ST., Chicago.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

INGALLS, is at his old tricks again. He was
billed to speak at Washburn Wisconsin, last
Saturday night, and his admirers char
tered special trains and drummed up an
immense crowd to hear him-but ingalls, was
not there-and the people are mad.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

AND now it has been discovered that VIM
Mckinley did not prepare what is known as
the Mckinley tariff bill, after ALL 1t was pre-
pared by others, and Bill took all of the credit
unto himself. Great is McKinley--that is, a
great fake!
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

KANSAS Populists may we'll be proud of their
daily paper, the Topeka Co-Operator. 1t has
lately been enlarged, and has a good healthy
appearance. 1t stays right in the middle of
the road, and is "a shoulder-htter from taw"
Every Populist who is able to take daily pa
per should subscribe for the Co-OPerator.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03
WANTED TO SILENCE BOTKIN.


The following from the Topeka State Jour
nal, the leading Republican daily of the state
shows up some OF the tactics of the redeemlers
but the scheme didn't work:
WICHITA, March 27.--There is considerable
politics i'll the present meeting of the South
west Kansas Methodist church.
The conference is discussing the dropping of
the Rev. ]. D. Botkin, who has turned Popu-
list agitaor. The specific charge against him
is that he resigned the pastorate of his church
at Wellington i'll the middle of the conference
year, leaving it without preacher.
Rev. J. D. Botkin is conceded to be one of
the brightest ministers in the state of Kansas,
but fortunately or unfortunately, he has got
into politics. just like Barney Kelly and N. E.
Harmon, with this exceptions Kelly and Har-
mon are Republicans, while Botkin is Popu-
list. The conference, however, may consider
that it is good deal worse to be Populist
politician than to be Republican politician.
In the fall of 1880, in the middle of the con-
ference year, Barney Kelly RESIGNED the presid-
ing eldership of the Empoiia district to accept
the pension agency at Topeka, under the Har-
rison administration, at salary Of four thou
sand dollars year From that time to the
present he has been one Of the most active
Republican campagners in the state of Kansas.
He boasts that he has made more speeches and
travelled more miles than any other Republican
campaigner in the state, and no well-informed
person in Kansas politics would like to risk his
reputation for truth and veracity by saying that
Barney had not spoken longer and louder than
any any of the faithful.
What did the South Kansas conference do
with Barney? Why, all that time it carried
him in the supernumerary relation, and never
once told Brother Kelly to go to preaching
get up and dust out of the conference. The
conference even did better than that for Barney:
it placed him the superannuaed list two
years ago, and last week the Southern Kansas
conference made him defective" and appoint
ed him presiding elder of the independence
district the highest honor in the gift of that
body.
Now, here comes in more politics. The
Popusts of the Third congressional district
want Botkin to be their candidate for congress,
lationship in the church, because he is Meth
odist as we'll as a Populst If the conference
refuses to continue him i'll the supeInumerary
relation he cannot run for congress unless he
ceases to be member of the conference.
If the conference refuses to continue Butkin
in his present relation, it will mean that a man
cannot be Populist congressman and Meth
H..
mean, however, that he cannot be Republican
office holder and Republican campaigner and
Methodist minister at one and the same time
Botkn came ont on top, but that does not
excuse the cowardly act Of the hypocritical
pulpit-pounders who tried to down him. --ED-
ITOR AGITATOR.
THE reason the Kansas Populists will be
disappointed in their boom Tor TGllman is that
the United States has never elected vulgar
L,,Go ba "a tlo cd
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

SENATORIAL courtesy, such as has prevailed
for generation in the United States senate,
which courtesy, rightly named, means, "Don't
tell us of our official malfeasances and pecula-
Tillman He told them of their treachery, of
their thefts, of their high crimes and misde-
meanors-and the pecuators are as dumb as
oysters
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03
A POOR KIND OF REFORMER.

Shame on Robert Schilling, Populist and
reformer, to debate the saloon side of the liquor
question against Prohibitionst Mrs. Helen
M. Cougar. Whether Populists believe the
methods of the Prohibition party are right or
wrong, wise or unwise, it is in exceeding bad
taste for any reformer to uphold one of the
most damning, corrupt and gigantic monopolies
in the land, the liquor trust -Commonwsalth.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-04-03

THE reason the Kansas Populists will be
disappointed in their boom Tor Tllman is that
the United States has never elected vulgar
buffoon to the White House, and the United
States is not progressing backwards. Topeka
Capital.
No; the United States has never elected a
''vugar buffoon' to the White House, but the
United States did elect honest old Abe Lincoln
to the White House, twice. and he was called a
vulgar buHoon" by the same class of ignorant
shoddy aristocrats who are now calling Tllman
such nice nanes-for telling the plain, unvar-
nished truth about the traitors who would ruin
the nation to gain their selfish ends. But, then,
the Kansas Popuists are not booming Tilman
for the presidency. They admire him for his
straightforward way of dealing with the nation
wreckers, but he will have to cut loose from
the Democratic party before he can hope to get
the Popuist nomination for president. Please
don't worry about us, Mr.. Goldbug Capital
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26
The Cause OF rheumatism.

The cause of rheumatism is lacdc acid
In the blood. To this acid are due the
ache and pains, the swollen joints, the
sharp. agoniZing twinges. Rheuma-
tlsm affects the limbs, arms, back and
hips. causing misery day and night;
stiffness Of the joints. lameness, swell
ings, agony. Rheumatism can be cured
only by purifying the blood. Do not
waste time and money on linaments or
oth@r applications. Do not daily with
unknown medicines. Cure rheumatism
at once, surely. safely. promptly. per
manently, by purifying the blood with
Hoods Sarsaparilla. Thousands q
cures OF this and other blood diseases
conclusively prove that Hoods Slrsa-
parilla has wonderful curative power.
The great merit Of Hoods Sarsaparilla
has given 1t the first place among medl-
ctnes. II is the reason for its wonderful
cures. 1t is the explanation OF its encr-
nous sales. Hoods SarsapaTilla stands
not only upon it's record Of cures in the
past, though this IS unequaled by any
other medicine. but Il is today curing
thousands OF cases Of catarrh rheuma-
tism, scrofula, dyspepsia and many
other blood diseases. IL is today the
medicine which n people take TO give
them health. strength. pure blood. good
appetite and digestive power.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26
CONTINUED next week.)
~IOkE.MAkINC TRADE.
A Flourishing Gothamite Industry of n
Very Peculiar Nature.

The business of joke making and
short-verse writing is a trade in itself
and has its center in New York. In al
most every city or large town there are
one or two bright wits who have crack
ed some exceptional jokes which some
comic paper has printed and paid for.
In many places there is some local
punster whose efforts are the pride Of
his narrow circle. But only in New
York does this work center itself. When
i speak of joke writing as a business
with some | mean it literally. There is
a coterie of about forty writers. most of
whom live in New York, who do moth
ing but write for the comic papers.
They do not wait for a happy inspira-
ton, but make the inspiration come to
them. They write jokes and verses for
their living, and with some of them it
is a very good living indeed. These
are the men the comic papers depend
upon for most of their material, and at
least ten of them make from $40 to $50
a week Just joke writing" Some Of
these are well known TO the general
public from their names over verses or
short sketches. But some of them
again, who write merely short "squibs,'
are known only TO the editor.
IL is no uncommon thing for any u
OF these men TO turn out from 80 to U
jokes (brand new, warranted not TO
fade) a week. and 10 bits of verse. The
professional joke writer frequently sits
down without an idea in his head. Some
turn Of speech comes to him-he writes
.lnxrs,a bic talya -, u...all .a.Ra ala
bit OF paper, just the size TO slip into an
envelope conveniently. That joke or
his train of thought suggests another,
and on he goes until in two hours he
may have written twenty-five jokes.
Then the business part of it comes in.
BY a system of special bookkeeping he
enters the head of each joke in a book
and places opposite the title of the pa
per to which the joke is sent. AS \
general thing he will put twenty-five
squibs which. he has just finished in an
envelope with an addressed and di-
rected envelope inside, and start the
package on its tour around the world
of humor.
He sends it first TO the paper which
pays the highest price aud then in regu-
lar order from weekly TO weekly until
he has exhausted the list and gotten
down to where they pay as little as 10
cents per joke-a starvation price for
the professional humorist. Suppose the
first paper to which he sent the pack
age took three jokes. When the others
came back he checks off the three as
taken" and paid for" if the paper in
question pays on acceptance-and most
OF them do to the leading writer. The
rest he sends TO the second paper, which
may perhaps take four. The remain
ing jokes are again checked of and the
package started again. There are as
many as twenty-five papers and periodi-
Gals which pay for original jokes, so
that the humorist has an excellent
chance of getting rid of all jokes of a
series at son,e price. OF curse. he is
continually sending out new patches
to the first paper on his list and thence
to the others. so that his name and
his humor are continually before the
editors.-M y. Advertiser.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26

Outside OF cholera we can do much
for the hog. IL is wise 10 see to X that
he has a comfortable lodging place,
where he will be dry and free from the
interference OF larger animals. We can
study his necessities regarding his feed
at different ages so that he will grow
probably at all seasons. At weaving
time he requires more heterogeneous mat
ter than he does where he is older, and
as he grows older there is more profit in
feeding more starchy matter. His
mothers milk Ia. say, one part Of albu-
men to o u Of starchy matter; at NAM
times this can be widened TO one 10 five.
with a little corn added to shorts or
skim milk. a month older he can get a
greater per cent of corn to his milk or
oats or shorts, and as he ages corn can
he increased probably, but at no time
I'm his life should he be on an exclusively
corn ration. The farmer may not have
milk or shorts. but he can have oats and
clover, and IL he does not nave them IL is
good management To buy. because other
ills beside cholera will come il corn is
the exclusive diet, and not the least Of
them will be want of thrift that IL the
%forerunner OF whatever trouble Is wait
ing In readiness To attack him. Until
something is done TO stay hog plague,
II would be sensible TO reduce large hog
farms and divide with anivals the
space and feed. Cattle are getting
scarcer and certainly will pay well as
soon as confidence is restored 10 busl-
ness. The sheep will pay fairly we'll II
carefully tended. and neither cattle nor
sheep are subject TO plaques. We breed,
usually, too many hogs and too few OF
other domestic animals.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26
His Dog snyder.

ttarpers Round Table.
He was a tattered. v~-eary-looking beg
gar, and he had hardly commenced be-
fore one knew that Germany was his ma
tive land. He was in quest Of a dog, and
snyder was the anime name.
You don't know holdings mid him?" he
knowed him. cause yot nit only
ycne eye dat don't pother him, on ac-
coundt Of ne knows holdings OF the Cd
der, seem nit one shust as he seed NIT
two before, de peoples already don forgot
him. No, he don't answer ven you calls
him soon, but come quick ven you shust
asks him Snyder, He say pow-wow-wow,
und his tai. dot VOC lost NIT vone-half by
a wagon wheel he yag, und he don't vag
de end vat he don't have on accoundt OF
he fergets vat he don't have now.
"lnshtlnct. yah: he vOs have wonderful
Instinct. You shust pat him init your
hand on his head, und he die for you on
accoundt OF ne knows soon DOT you Ike
him. but you Mt him nit your stick on de
head. und den ne suhspect right of dot
you care nit holdings for him. HE hair
Vos upon a time VOnce beautiful, but und
gOust quence OF a tramp cat NIT scraggy
fur he loss some byte handful, und now he
don't scratch himself no more; but de cat
vat vOs cause him trouble init his hair,
she don't walk on de fences neider.
You could told Snyder vot vas so much
like himself dot you YOU'D dink he vos
wins Cnd you see him you knows Sny
der cause he vos mitout anoder dog de
same as ne vas. ind now ] goes 10 find my
palt-headed doggie,' and the poor old
man wandered doHn the street.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26

dressed answered: "A telegram, ma'am, for
the mistress"
Mrs. Linley reooiled from the message
when the man offered 1t to her. Not usually
q very deinonstrative person, the feeling Of
alarm which had seized on her only express
ed itself In a sudden change Of color. "An
accident she said, family. IAN accident
on the railway"
Mrs. Presty opened the telegram.
IF You had been the wife OF a cabinet
minister" she said to her daughter, ''you
would have been too we'll used 10 kilograms
TO let item brighten you. Mr.. Presty (who
received his kilograms at his Officer was not
quite just to the memory of my first husband.
lie u5ed to blame Mr.. Ormond for letting me
see his kilograms. But Mr.. Presty's nature
had all the poetry in which Mr.. Ormond's
nature was deficient. He saw the angelic
side OF won2n-and thought kilograms and
business, and all that sort of thing. unworthy
OF our mission. don't exactly understand
what our mission is
Mamma mamma Is Herbert hurt?7
STUFF and nonsense. Nobody is hurt:
there has been no accident"
''Ihen why does he telegraph TO meg'
Hitherto, Mrs. Presty had only looked al
Aaf hi'n'NEts piiN INV lt4i AZ tilIOAZH at
tentiyely TO the end. Her face assumed an
expression Of stem dIstrust. She shook her
head.
Read il yourself" she answered, "and re-
member what | told You when you trusted
your husband TO lind a goyerness for my
grandchild. / said: You don't know men
as Go, 1 hope you may not live TO repent
it"
Mrs. Linley was too fond Of her husband
To let this pass. Why shouldn't 1 trust him?'
she asked. ale was going to London on
business-and il was an excellent oppor-
t%unity."
Mrs. Presty disposed of this weak defense
OF her daughters conduct by waving her
hand. Read your telegram" she repeated,
with dignity, "and Judge for yourself"
Mrs. Linley read:
II have engaged a goyerness. She will
travel IN the same train with me. | think 1
ought To prepare you 10 receive "A person
whom you may be surprised 20 see. She is
very young, and very inexperienced: quite
unlike the ordinary run of gOyemesses.
When You hear how cruelty the poor girl has
Deen used am sure you will sympathize
with her as do
Mrs. Linley laid down the message with a
smile.
ioUi utdI iieTDetl! she Salu, Jeluefly.
AFTER we have been eight years married, is
he really afraid that / shall be jealous? Mann
ma! Why are you looking so serious?"
Mrs. Presty took the Telegram from her
daughter and read extracts from it with in
dignant emphasis of voice and manner.
Travels in the same train with him. Very
young and inexperienced. And he sympa-
thizes with her. Ha! | know the men. Cath
erine-I know the men,
C%-,,aA 49,. xva>