The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1896-02-12
AN IMPECUNIOUS ONE.
THE BOLD GAME OF BLUFF HE PLAYED
ON THE CONDUCTOR.

Man who Tells the story. He Ought TO
he An Actor-oh, It Was wickcdi
He sat in hotel smoking room. Tho
air was blue, but men were happy
happy and reminiscent. He stretched
Sut his legs, thrust his hands deep into
his pockets, and between the puffs spun
this yarn:
"For dead cold, icy nerve had oil
ways thought we travelling men took the
cake. But the prettiest game of bluff
ever saw was put mp by a man who was
neither drummer nor reporter but
merely an overworked bank clerk who
had applied for leave of absence and
gone south to recuperate. He had drawn
n certain sum for the trip and resolved
not to exceed it, Foolishly he had neg
lected to buy an excursion ticket, argu-
ing that he might want to return by n
different route And then, as a matter
of course, he found that he had spent his
money not wisely but too well, so that
he was hundreds of miles from home,
ticketless and friendless and we'll nigh
penniless. His checkbook was useless,
for no ono knew him and he must be
identified.
"All this l learned later on. My ac-
| quaintance with him began ON the train
Of one of the southern roads, when ho
asked me to stake him enough to see
him home. had already been touched
several times that trip, SO, expressing ev
cry confidence in his probity, declined
the honor he would do me. He tried
several other passengers with like re-
suit Then he gave it up, but made us
all promise not to interfere with any
game he tried to play.
Presently the conductor came along.
The impecunious one, his hat cooked
over one eye, was peacefully sleeping in
one corner of his seat, leaning toward
an open window The conductor shook
him, gently at first, so that he stirred,
and his hat dropped farther over his
eye, but he did not wake. Then more
roughly, saying, Come. sir, your ticket,
please.
cat that the impeounious one awoke
with big start. His hat flew out of the
window, ,eand he flew into great rage.
He swore at the conductor and abused
him up and down, him and his fore
fathers unto the third and fourth gener-
alton. What did he mean by waking
rest was invaluable to an invalid2 That
such a sudden, rude awakening might be
fatal to q weak hearth We're his nerves
Of no accountp And now he had lost his
hat and would catch cold. 1t was out
rageous.
1.-THE conductor bowed before the
storm, and when it had somewhat abat-
ed offered to replace the hat at the first
stopping place. And now, sir, let me
see your ticket, please.
"The impecunious one felt in all his
pockets, went through them all again
with bewildered air. Finally he broke
out: why, you idiot, You, all my tick
cts, not only ON this road, but straight
through to Chicago, were in the lining
J, Of my hat, and you knocked it out Of
the window. I'm in pretty pickle
now. haven't enough with me to buy
a fresh set. This piece of idiocy will
cost you your job. I'll report you to the
company and teach you to be more care
"The conductor tried to soothe him,
offered to take him through to the end
Of the division. But the impecunious
one would not be appeased. Much good
1t would do him to be landed in some
little nearby, one horse southern town
hundreds Of miles from nowhere. He
wanted to get through to Chicago He
must get through. He had an appoint
ment there that was worth thousands Of
dollars. Finally the conductor, by this
time badly frightened, promised to get
him tickets aor passes all the way
through. and the impecunious one SUBJ
sided. And to the end Of that road the
conductor. having replaced the dear de-
parted hat, maintained an humbly apol-
ogetio tone that would have wrung tears
of blood from stone.
-e"And it was only bluff all 80 we'll
carried out that the conductor was
completely taken in, and the rest Of us
rubbed our eyes and wondered whether
the impecunious ones attempt to touch
rs was not. after all, q dream.
Later on, travelling, over that same
road, I told the conductor how he had
been worked. And he said he knew it,
for shortly after that trip he had receiv-
ed letter and check, the former con-
Tossing the fraud, the latter paying him
the full price Of the. passage. And he
added: That fellow was genius II he
had made fuss at first about his tick
cts, I'd have been ON to him in a min
ute, but his tickets were forgotten. It
was his nerves. his health. his heart. his
hat that were of Importance. And to
think that be, had no nerves. or health.
or hat--or heart Oh, ii was wicked !
But that man has missed his vocation.
He ought to be ON the stage "-Chica-