davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25


THE eAev-REAl AND IDEAL.
Ny neighbor has baby and she also
has my sympathies.
Whenever you look at her baby you
mentally comment upon the fact OF his
being q fine child. Ny neighbor smiles
proudly, but q little YEARLY, when you
pay the noble young infantile scion this
substantial compliment.
Ny neighbor Is so tired, and the baby
weighs as much a. keg OF nails. He Is
young to have ideas, bat he has them,
and he has them for the most part at
night.
nv neighbor Is very patient, and she
tries to carry out his ideas In dutiful
wsy-far more dutiful than any paid
caretaker, you must understand. II the
baby wishes to give fete In the middle
Of the night or to work up vaudeville
performance In the wee sma' hours, my
neighbor Is such patient, tolerant, re-
sponsive audience and property man, all
in one.
No one ever thinks of relieving her.
Fancy her amazement II you should go
To her door this evening and she, re-
rPouuine W youi rugs shou'" "e"' ~
say:
"Dear-my-neighbor, have come to
take care Of your baby tonight aud re
lieve you. Leave him to me and go To
another room and sleep. Sleep all night.
Sleep at the rate Of 40 knots an hour.
Sleep and take your rest"
Then little dear-my neighbor would
put her head down on your shoulder,
and believe, to my soul, she would
cry.
The nocturnal behavior Of the baby Is
usually considered one Of the domestic
jokes Fate plays on married man. The
caricaturist makes weird and salable
cartoons, picturing the psternal mid
night destiny. The public enters into
the jolly spirit Of the caricaturist at
once, and the baby himself would u he
could add the stamp of his approval to
the representations Of his particular and
villanous part la the cast. The joke Is
one that never grows old.
NV neighbor was III last week, and
fsrmed her baby out for week to her
sister-in-law, Who had no baby, and,
therefore, regarded one as an ideal
affair.
An ideal baby Is different from real
baby. The former belongs 10 class
early removed from terrestrial sphere,
and class that dwelis In the magma
ton, Ike the baby Of my neighbor's sis
ter-in-law.
The baby's apprenticeship only lasted
twelve hours. You see, a real baby can
never act as AN understudy To an ideal
baby. He Is never equal 10 the part,
aud this real baby was dismissed after
the first nights performance. The sis
ter-in-law brought him home In her arms
before breakfast.
Perhaps some day there may be
charity called mothers rcst"--and, like
the Flushing church annex, thst cares
for the babies during services on sun
day, this mothers rest" scheme Will
essay To care for babies at night, so that
mothers may sieep.-New York Record
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
When Emerson propo.ed.

Mrs. Ellen Emerson says that she re-
members we'll the day when her father,
the Concord philosopher, set out TO pro
pose marriage to her stepmother THE
liveryman seemed to know" she adds,
that it was q special occasion, and the
horse and buggy which he gave father
were made garish by pair of bright
yellow reins. Poor father looked so dis
concerted. He pleaded gently for some
thing less conspicuous, but the man was
obdurate. ! can see him now driving off
yith those glaring reins hanging loose
" over the horses back.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
------------------
Germans Rule Europe.

Europe may be said to be ruled en-.
tirepy by Germans, since the heads Of
reifning houses are, for the most part.
Of German origin. The British royal
houEe is Of pure German descent. The
AuiItrian emperor is German and SO
are the Spanish princes. The king Of
d f|mark is a German. The king Of Swe-
den is Of French ancestry (the founder
Of he present line was Bernadotte),
but his recent ancestors have been Ger
maps. In fact. the French royal lines,
the Portuguese and the Italians are the
ONLY non Germans among the royal
hon pes Of Europe. Even the kings and
prices Of the former Turkish provinces
-Sbrvia, Bulgaria, Greece and Rouma-
MIA Eare Germans-Exchange.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
pARnoNrp HIS AssAILAkI.
Remarkable Treatment Of . Convict ~
Governor Bob Stewart.

Remarkable Treatment 81 Coovhcs -
Governor Bob Stewart.
Governor Bob Stewart. who was the
chilli executive Of Missouri once and att
erward United States senator from that
stab. had strange career.
Turing his gubernatorial incumbepcy
he 'kas one day looking through tho
penltentiary at jefferson City when he
SAW among the convicts an aged man
wh,Im he recognized. On the following
day he sent to the warden Of the prison
orders 10 have that man brought 70 the
executive mansion.
When the man appeared, tho govern
or, calling him by name, asked him il
he lbadn I once been the mate Of Mis-
souti river steamboat. The convict ad-
mitked that he had been, and then the
following conversation ensued. the gov
ernbr beginning:
q Do you remember at one time OF
having taken blankets away from a boy
WHIP was stowaway ON the boat and
kicking him ashores"
1.-THE circumstance doesn't recur to
me now. but doubtless ! did it A
steamboat mate in those days had to be
considerable Of brute.
Yes. sir. and you filled the bill I'D.
mirably. was the boy you robbed and
kicked ashore very near TO this capital
city, and thus became enabled to give
yoLi your pardon. Here. sir, take it.
NoT, right about. March ont Of that
doot and of these premises, and never
let me see your brutal old face again.
The old convict walked away quite
brilkly for one OF his age.
A little while ago senator told me
thai one day about the close Of the war,
or perhaps little later. he was walk
ing down Pennsylvania avenue in Wash
iueton with another senator when bis
con panion abruptly called his attention
10 d rather distinguished looking man
in d gang Of lahorers who Were cleaning
the streets, and I think he said under
poll ce surveillance.
. Do you know who that man isF
,he|socond senator asked.
'lNo."
.lWell, that il Ex-Governor and ex-
Senator Bob Stewart Of Missouri. BE
wa Of convivial nature, and the conviv-
alittes Of Washington proved too much
for him. Chicago Times Herald.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
A Pcrplering Question.

Mr.. James Payn, the novelist. tells OF
an amusing question put to him very
seriously by u little boy Of his own. The
family were being driven out Of their
London house to make way for the paint
ers, cleaners and whitewasbers.
Papa" said the child, who had evil
IDENTIFY been turning the matter over in
his own little head, where do the peo-
pie in heaven go when the spring clean
ing begins there?''
This problem was too perplexing. even
for Mr.. Payu.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
NOTHING VENTURE, NOTHING
HAVE.

Rev. John Reid, Jr., Of Great Fslls,
Mon, recommended Eiy's Cream Balm
to me. l can emphasize his statement.
at Is . positive cure for catarrh II used
ss directed. Rev. Francis w. Poole,
Pastor Central Pres. church, Helena,
Mont.
II IL the medicine above all others for
catarrh, and IL worth Its weight In gold.
l can use Ely's Cream Balm with safety
and Il does all that 10 claimed for it.-B.
w. spsrry, Hartford, Conn.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

Clpe Horn is one mass Of black rock
without vegetation o. birds. The sea al
wayb runs of it with tremendous force,
and bounding the cape Is considered by
sailors one or the toughest Of passages.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
No ao.-Word Change.

The changes are made by dropping one
letter from the word and substituting an
other letter, 80 forming new word and
thus continuing until the word given Is
changed TO the one required. The letters
may also b. tranSpos.d. For example,,
change ant 10 bcc-ant ten Ben bee
/. Change cat 10 dos. .. Boy "a man.
8. Elk 20 pig. 4. Cold 10 fire. 3. Boat to
pier. g. Stag to deer. :. Star TO moon
s Lock 70 hars.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
An Ingenious Arrangement

Open book at random and select
word within the first ten lines and within
the tenth word from the end Of the line.
Now double the number OF the page and
multiply tho sum by 5; then add 90; then
add the number OF the line you have Sc
lected; then add 8; multiply the sum by
10. Add the number Of the word In the
line From this subtract ESQ, and the re-
mainder will indicate in the unit column
the number OF the word, In the ten col
umn the number OF the line and the re-
naming figures the number OF the page.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
No ss.-Hidden Capes.

Uncle Archer and Aunt Clarice took
Rob on seq voyage.
Twas bleak, cold day whom Florence
bought Irma yards Of lace and ribbon for
her party dress.
Which river would you rather travel on,
the Don or the Thames
When Ryan comes, tell him to plant the
other flowers near cedar tree.
All was quiet, when, To- Penelope en-
tered the room. with merry laugh, her
arms full OF fragrant flowers
Shall take Ruth or Nellie to the matt.
p.-.f
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

During Rosecrans' campaign IN Ten
nessee the question arose as TO whether
he would rather be poet or victor.
Mr.. J. X. Gilmore relates the incident In
the Louisville Journal:
On the following day rode ont with
Rosecrans, General Garfield, then his
chief Of staff. several others officers and
n squad Of about 100 men TO Grantlands.
the birthplace and home Of Miss Muir.
free. the well known author. but then
occupied by General Sheridan as hi,
headquarters
As we entered the forest inclosing the
town Garfield broke out with LowelIs
poem, ~ do believe in freedom s cause. p"
his words being echoed back from the
great spreading trees and set to the mu'
sic of 100 horses heels. He had scarcely
ended when General Rosecrans told how
Z.kie crcp' mp. quito unbeknown.
And pe.kcd In thru the winder,
While there soi Hubby all alone
18th no one nigh % hinder.
"what would you give 10 have writ
ten thatY' he asked rs he finished the
recitation.
"All the castles ! ever built in the
Clouds" replied
$50 would |. said Rosecrans. "fou
know what Wolfe said before his great
victory"
THAT he would rather have written
Gray's 'Elegy' than take Quebec
Would you have said that before Stone
River"
He hesitatcd moment, then answe, =.
ed, "No. for we need victories more
than poems
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
Mn. s,poub,. Aero.tIc.

NV primAls name an empress, my finals
a queen.
Crusswovds (of equal lengthy: /. Per
tanning 10 the Jews ?. a severe trial B..
\ specimen. {. The germ Of plant. 5.
A mans name 9. An exodus. Z. An az
front. S To reckon. 9. A damsel carried
of by Jupiter.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

Of the West Point graduates who
servbd in the Federal army during the
civil war one-fifth were killed in action,
one half were wounded
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
FACT WORTH KNOWING.

Consumption, La Grippe, Pneumonia,
and all Throat and Lung diseases are
cured by Shiloh's Cure. Sold by +. A.
Shurtleff, South Paris.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
No. ls.-Centrai Acro~tic.

Words Of ,hree letters each: /. The name
o. high priest 2. A weight 5 Wa
ter impregnated with alkaline salt imbibcd
from the ashes Of wood" 4 A color. ..
A par, OF some houses. 8. The goddess OF
revenge. :. Forever" Centrals: Zeal
nv -
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

A piano In constant use is very apt to
get badly scratched from uslng the
pedals carelessly. To protect the wood
hehind them, make large half circle Of
pasteboard and cover Il with an unob-
trusive materisl, either In silk or damask
furnirure-covering. II can readily be
adjusted, and serves ~ . good protec-
ton against mars.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
ALL RECOMMEND 1T.

Ask your physician, your druggist
and your friends about Shil0h's Cure for
Consumption. They will recommend IL.
Sold by r. A. ShurtlefY. South Paris.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
ous OF the Mouths OF Babes.

Little Ef1ie went to synagogue, and
whe h the rabbi called next day, wishing
to BIB sociable. she said to him, II heard
you speak your piece yesterday. T"
g Did yoN my childi" he said, halt
SURPRISED, half amused. "How did you
like it,"
"ph." answered the honest child,
cit made mo awfully sleepy. "-Ameri-
can Hebrew.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

ssAh, me, my heart is fullw sighed
the girl who had taken advantage of her
leap year privilege until she found her.
self engaged to five men.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

"Miss Twilkins has gone to Europe to
cultivate her voice." ''Dear me! |
didn't know she could afford it," "The
neighbors subscribed the money"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

Nbw York. the greatest Of our CON-
ner|ial cities and the leading seaport.
y oil the greatest manufactuSina state
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
A NATURAL BEAUTIFIER.

Karrs Clover Root Tea purifies the
blood and gives clear and beautiful
complexion. Sold by +. A. Shurtlefi,
Couth pa ria
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
How He Got Along.

"How do you get along with your bicy.
cle.''
Well" replied the truthful young
man, sometimes one way and sometimes
another. Sometimes the bicycle rides me
and once In awhile ride the bicycle"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
No ia Riddle.

Forward. BACKWARD. all the same,
A Bible womsln's well known name.
To her Wa gwen a noted son.
A prophet and a judge was he.
Who. whsn his course was fully run
Was laid 10 rcss risht royalty.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
Her Opinion.

1.-THE worst tyrant possible is liber-
sted slave.
"Er-yes. Iguess that's the reason SO
many devoted lovers make such horrid
husbands. indianapolis Journal
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

Lucy-"And you're going to marry
that rich old fellow? Do you realize
what you're doing" Molly-"Certain-
ly, coming the seniorage."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

Arizona Editor: II see thst the East
ern cult sticks TO our new reporter
Assistant: SLOWS thst?" Arizons
Editor-''In writing up that tar-and-
feather racket he mentions the victim Al
being clothed in q garb Of some soft,
clinging material.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
No. IA winter Rhyme.

NO. Ets-H WHs0E ""J
The definitions Of the words In quota.
ton marks are objects which add To oui
pleasure In winter:
A sharp "incisor" Michael took
And with 1; vainly tried
To skii'' 'sfish" without a book
Away his fshship hicd.
Poor Mike now watches for chance
This time with hook and Incl
Beside the strcani. In shady hauntS
For Ash ON which 10 dine.
No s'bsauties' in the bathrooms crowd,
In "dros.-ss" Worth might praise.
Were e'er than honest Mike more proud
When be his fsh displays
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

"Mrs. Snipp-"Young man, will this
ticket take me to Chicagog' Ticket
agent-"No, ma'am, but that train out
aide will
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

What bird Is shown In the center of the
pic,ures You may find out by the initial
letters of the objects surrounding It, when
placed one under the other In proper order.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

When Baby was sck, We gave her CastcrfA
When she was . Child. she cried for CastoriA
When she became Min, she chung to CastoriA
When shs had Children. shs gave them CastoriA.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

"Sir, did you say that the pug dog
evoluted from q monkey." us this your
pug dog, madam" "Yes, sir" "Then
beg the monkeys pardon"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
snrsIsRIurRu bsts Stamps.
ADMINISTRATIONS SALE.

The following Real Estate belonging 70 the
estate OF David y. True. late Of south Paris.
The Peniey Pam, - called. situated three
niles from south Paris Village. - aCrcs more
or less and cuts 80 q sptons Of hay. The build
ingS arr In good condition. The farm l. well
supplied with tools an5 farm machinery which
viii De -old with the place n desired. This farm
& In frSt class condition and viii be sold AZ
bargain.
Also, s. acres Of land known as the moody
Lot"
Also, = acrcs OF land Known a. the u. Clark
Lot" an situated IN the Town % Paris
Apply 70 SAML- A. TRUE, Admr,
~ Commercial 81.
Portland, Me.
Or, Hon. 6. A. Wilson. 80, Paris. Me.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
RECIPES.

The following recipes have ali been
practically tested aud will be very wei
come TO housekeepers living In the coun-
Try or In such places where IL Is often
impossible TO procure fresh cakes at n
short notice. They are very inexpensive
aud quickly made, do not require an
oven heated on purpose, as they can be
baked after the bread or roast has been
removed. Moreover they will keep for
weeks In closed tins and can therefore be
prepared when there Is time. Care must
be taken that only the best butter and
-four and powdered sugar be used, the
flour and sugar always finely sifted.
GRADUATED sugar may be used, but then
IL must be crushed and sifted.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

No. Letter Enigma Ice-pond Il ace
''p" on ''d'D-
No. s.-lhakespearean Enigma: Good
wax, thy leave. Biest be you bees THAI
make these locks of COUNSEL 1mogen.
No. easy Diamonds:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

IL was afflicted with pain in my side
and had stomach trouble. | took five
bottles Of Hoods Ssrsspsrilla and l
have not felt so well in my life as do
now" Mrs. WILSON LARRABEE, Box
Is, Unity, Maine.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
FOR DYSPEPSIA

and liver complaint you have print
ed guarantee on every bottle OF Shiloh's
Vitalizer. Il never fails to cure. Sold
BY F. A. Shurtleff, South Paris.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
HOMEMAKERS COLUMN.
the sAey-ReAL AND IDEAL.

Correspondence on tories Of interest tothe lsdiee
b solicited. Address: Editor HonKnAxkHa'
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
Fidelity and Casualty Co.
OC NEW WORK Ny

Fidelity and Casualty Co.
or NEW YORK, N Y.
incorporated and Commeboed Business IN ls76.
GEO. \. SEw ARD, President
ROBT. J. HILLAs. Secretary.
Capital paid up in cash s1ioooola
ASSETS DEC n. lssS.
Real estate ownct. unincumbercd. Q S4sJ -
stocks AMI BONDS owned. market
value, $50. 81 ID
Cash in principal Office and In bank. 70fsS Is
Interest due and accrued. 2,dSS IL
Premiums In due course % collection. @s.Sls -
AL other assets lJ,lSs ~
aggregate OF az the admitted assets
% the COMPANY az their actual value. a54l o. -
LIABILITIES, DC. 81. lsso.
Net amount % uupSid losse> aud claims, zoe A7 IS
Amount required 70 safely re-insure
al outstanding risks, I So 6es u
Al other demands, viz, commits
sious. etc. 1883 y
Total liabilities except capital stock
and net surplus, l.s7s.osa ~
capita actually paid up In cash. s5a.C,o 10
surplus beyond capital Slssso y
Aggregate amount Of liabilities In.
Guiding net surplus 2Il. as -
". J. WHEELER. South Paris. Agent
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
KARI,S CLOVER ROOT TEA


is sure cure for Headache and nerv-
Gus diseases. Nothing relieves so quick
". Sold by F. A. Shurtleff, South Paris.
IT SAVES LIVES EVERY DAY.
Thousands of cases of Consumption,
Asthma, Coughs, Colds and Group are
cured every day by Shiloh's Cure. Sold
by r. A. Shurtlefi, South Paris.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

Hoods pills cure biliousness, indiges
ton.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
CHOCOLATE CAKES

Oue-quarter pound grated sweet chloe
olate, one-quarter pound sugar, three
eighths pound -four, three eggs, one
quarter pound almonds. Have the al
monds blanched and cut fine, length
Mise; mix together, adding the beaten
eggs last, and knead well, busting with
little -four to prevent sticking; roll
out. Dot too thin, sud cut with fancy
cutters; bake on sheets, rubbed over
with the best Of salad oils, In N moderate
oven.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

No. lo.-Syncopations; S-H-ore. c-O-ss,
s-o-urt, min-D-ing-HO0D.
No ll.-Pictured Diamond: b, tea,
berry. ark, y.
No. i2.-ChArade: Child-lik
No. ia Pentagon:
II A
A X c
c H A G r | y
A r X A S
G / s
No. 14.-Pref1es and Suffixes: k-in-k,
yearly, s-par-s, sights, spores, twist,
s-team-s, y-Ssst-y, s-late-s, swings
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25

ADMfNl>ThATOh> sALE.
The FIGURING and Grist MIL and Store, Al
south Parts Village belonging % the Estate Of
David y Tue. lAte Of south Paris.
This r'iH was occupied for many years by the
Paris FIGURING Company and by the ate owner.
It, water power includes the right Of fOwage OF
Bryant's Pond. The dam was thoroughly re
paired In %. The mil l. 10 sOOa condition. II
has always done and l. still doing good bust
ness. This fine property vii DC sold 1t bar,
gain For the right parties this = q splendid
chance % step into a well established and pay
Ing business Apply %
;. A. TRUE. Admir-,
~ Commercial St,
Portland, Ne
or, Hon. q. A. Wilson. so. Paris, Ne
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-02-25
CATARRH CURED,

health and sweet breath secured, by
Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy. Price 80
cents. Nasal Injector free. Sold by +.
A. Shurtleff, South Paris.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-12-08
"Sunset', Tours.

E. E. Currier, of No. State street, Boston, Mass, is the New England agent for the Sunset personally con- ducted tours to the Pacific coast. Leaving Washington every Saturday in Pullman tourist sleeping cars the trav- eler is transported through the south ern States, and reach Los Angeles in four days and San Francisco in five days without change of cars or attend ants. The route preeludes the possibi- lity of delays which are sonnet times in- evitable in the northern Statesoduring the winter months. and every detail of arrangement for the safety and com fort of the patrons of this line Is look ed after in the most careful manner by competent and courteous officials. Port land, Tacoma and Seattle are reached in seven days. with but one change of cars. after a delightful ride through the garden state of California.