davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15
A PLAGUE OF THE NIGHT.
Itching Piles and Other Rectal Trou-
bles Easily Cured by New
and Safe Method.
A Remarkable Number of Cures
Made by the Pyramid Pile Cure.

About one person in every four
suffers from some form Of rectal dis
ease. The most common and annoy
ing is itching piles, indicated BY
warmth. slight moisture and in
tense, uncomfortable itching in the
parts affected.
The usual treatment has been some
simple ointment or salve which
sometimes give temporary relief. but
nothing like permanent cure can
be expected from such superficial
treatment.
The only permanent cure for itch
ing piles yet discovered is the Pyra-
mid Pile Cure, net only for itching
piles, but for every other form Of
piles, blind. bleeding or protruding.
The first application gives instant
relief. and the continued use for Q
time causes q permanent removal Of
the tumors or the small parasites
which cause the intense itching and
discomfort Of itching piles.
Many physicians for . long time
supposed that the remarkable relief
afforded by the Pyramid File Cure
was because it was supposed to con-
tain cocaine, opium or similar drugs.
but such is not the case. A recent
careful analysis of the remedy
showed it to be absolutely free from
any cocaine, opium. or in fact any
poisonous, injurious drugs what
ever.
For this reason the Pyramid Pile
Cure 10 probably the only pile cure
extensively recommended by physi-
clans, because it is so safe. 20 prompt
in the relief afforded. and 30 far -
known the only positive cure for
piles except q surgical operation.
In one year the Pyramid Pile Cure
has become the best known, the
safest and the most extensively sold
Of any pile cure before the public.
Nearly all druggists sell it At so
cents and 81 per package.
Address the Pyramid company,
Albion, Mich, for book on cause and
cure of piles and also hundreds Of
testimonials from all parts of the
United States.
II suffering from any form Of piles
ask your druggist for . package Of
Pyrsmid Pile Cure and try il to-
night.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

At Trinity chapel, Rev. r. F.
Sweet. rector; even song and Sunday
school at 2:S0 p. m.
At Trinity church. Rev. r. F.
Sweet, rector; Sunday school al
9:15 q. m. Mathis at 10:45 q. m.
Celebration at ~ m. Even song al
7:30 p. m.
At the Grace Lutheran church,
Rev. j. L. Murphy, pastor. will
preach at 1916 q. m. on I'VE Go UE
to Jerusalem" Services at ESQ p.
m. Luther league meets at $50 p. m.
At the Emmanuel Baptist, Forty
fourth street. Preaching at 1915 a.
m. and 7:SO p. m. by the pastor, Rev.
s. H. Cain. Sunday school at s p
m. Young peoples meeting at CSC
p. m.
At the United Presbyterian,
Rev. H. c. Marshall, pastor. will
preach at 1O:45 q. m. on Glowing the
Lover" and 1880 p. m. on "a Pur.
pose in Life" Sunday school al
$50 a. m. Young peoples meeting
at 6:45 p. m.
At the Central Presbyterian. ser.
vices at 1O:45 a. m. and 7:3O p. m,
conducted by the pastor, Rev. Ira w.
Allen. Jr. Morning subject. Private
Prayer" evening, Remember the
Creator in Youth" Sunday school
at 9:l5 a. m. Young peoples meeting
at Gas p. m.
At the Broadway Presbyterian,
Rev. w. S. Marquis, pastor. Preach.
ing at 1O:45 a. m. In the evening
q service of sacred song and praise
by the choir and congregation. Sun
day school at 9:l5 .. m. Young
peoples meeting at Gas p. m. Sun.
day school at South Park chapel al
2:3O p. m.
At the Christian, services at 1O:45
q. m. and 7:30 p. m, conducted BY
the pastor. Rev. T. w. Grafton.
Morning subject, The Fullness Of
Time;" evening, .'Pure Religion or
Trial" Sunday school at 9:l5 .. m
Y. P. s. c. E. at $50 p. m. Subject
Loyalty to Our Church." Leader
Charles McKinstry.
At the Edgewood Park NJ. E. church
(Meets in old No. z school house.
Rev. David Moore. pastor. Preach
ing at IL .. m. and 7:SO p. m. Sun
day school at 10 q. m. Prayer meet
ing Wednesday at 7:3O p. m. Sub
jcct Of morning sermon, Jesus. tn,
Universal Comforter;" evening, 9TH,
Wise Decision Of Noses"
At the First Methodist, preaching
at 10:45 a. m. by Rev. DR.. J. G
Evans, president Of Hedding college
Subject, "Christian Education
At 7:S0 p. m. the pastor, Rev. F. W
Merrell. will preach. Subject. "Th'
Question Of Ages" Sunday schoo
At $50 .. m. Young peoples meet
ing at $50 p. m.
At the First Baptist, preaching BY
Rev. Henry Williams, Of Ottumwa
Iowa. morning and evening. Sun
day school at $50 .. M, S. j
Woodin. superintendent. B. Y. P
U. meeting at $50 p. m. Leader
Fred Hitler. Topic: 1.-THE Bless
ing of Coniessing Christ" Junior
union at 2:S0 p. m. Leader, Emm,
DoNAsA
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15
The repu blicans are now presen

The republicans are now present.
ing the most astounding spectacle in
congress. They are trying hard to
keep on both sides Of the financial or
silver question. believing the repub-
lican silverites control enough elec-
toral votes to elect or defeat the re-
publican candidate for president.
They are using all the art Of concil.
iation-without committing them.
selves-within their power by shut
fling. straddling and evading the
silver question.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15
SEASONS sLunBEs soxos.
BY MA1r Z. DCR1AH.

FL nABI =. OCR3A8s
Hufh. nv dear
Rect, ~ q hear
The tale The soft breeze tsils
OF balmy hills and teils:
And AL The tinkling raindrops cay
OF changing cloud land, far sway;
No melody % sweet can mortal eing
A this refrain in showers and EAles Of spring.
Hush. my dear
Rest, and hear
The Storm Kipg's lullaby;
List to the BIRDS low cry
A., dazed BY the lishtning's blindirg haeh
And shocted by thunder's deafeniDg esash
They hide from wind and rain: bot We rtjoae
To hear the summer tempe SITS mighty voice.
Hush, my dear
Rect. and hear
The dry lesves Tustlipg eouud;
They lie In teads erousd
And wait the gusty wind. thu IL guide;
Then nut'er, chatteYing BY its sioe.
None CAL the autumn sad who u-defxtand
The mystic m0fDur Of that merry band.
Hush, my dear
Nest. and hear
The Oh 'fae Of the bast
30 madly rushing pact;
Leaving the yWny. drftiCg sn.w
To WhIten all the world below:
While here We hasken with intense delight
To the grand symphony Of winters night
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

QUITE q number Of valentines were
received by republicans throughout
the state from Shelby M. Cullom
suggesting the formation Of clubs
bearing the name Of the SEN
Tor Illinois senator. They were
bids for favor, and on the whole
very affectionate greetings.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

sBIDDY" CARROLL, demented
hunchbsck, died in the Oakland
Mich county poor house last week
at the apparent authenticated age Of
40 years. She was long believed to
be the oldest person in the state.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

A WEEK or 80 since Maine folk
were complaining loudly Of the lack
of snow, which was causing great
loss to the numbering interests, and
directly to all kinds Of business.
The snow came last week. and all the
icemen set up wall, because every
snow fall entails great expense in
cleaning the snow from the ice fields.
Which illustrates several old sayings.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

Charles B. Hood, broker and man
ufacturer's agent. Columbus, Ohio,
certifies that Dr. Kings New Dis.
covery has no equal Is a cough rem.
edy. J. d. Brown. proprietor st.
James hotel, Fl. Wayne, Ind. testi.
fies that ne was cured of . cough Of
two years. standing. caused by ID
grippe. BY DR.. Kings New Discovery.
B. F. Merrill, Baldwinsville, Mass.
says that he has used and recon.
mended it and never knew it to fail
and would rather have it than any
doctor, because it always cures.
Mrs. Hemming. 222 East Twenty.
fifth street, Chicago, always keeps il
at hand and has no fear of Group, BE-
cause 1t instantly relieves. Free
trial bottles at Hartx & Ullemeyer's
drug store.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

An effort is to be made to increase
the roster of the Sixth regiment, 1.
N. G., to . thousand men. This
work has been given to the cap
tains Of the companies through Col.
Foster, and came to him from the
governor himself.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

Now that the north pole has been
discovered Shelby M. Cullom should
go up there and start his boom. He
will probably find the weather to his
liking.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

MORE than one-fourth Of the voters
living in Stoneham, Me-, are PEN
sioners OF the war of the rebellion.
But there were more enlistments
from Stoneham than there were
voters when the war was in progress.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

MCKINLEY looks like Napoleon
Cullom like Lincoln, Reed like Ii
Hung Chang, ..Cush" Davis like Ben
Butler, and Morton-well. he doesn't
look more than IS and according to
his own showing he isn't 1O0.-New
York Mercury.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

IF the Monroe doctrine cannot be
applied to DR.. Nansen's north pole
discovery by Norwegian people.
England will probably proceed with
out ceremony to gobble it up.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

A WOMAN at Huils had papers
served on q gentleman by the name
of johnson. Of the same place, de.
manding $4,000 damages because,
after seeing her home from q party.
he made so bold as to kiss her hand
Is he parted with her at the gate.
But now word comes that she has
concluded to call it square for $3.50.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

WITH Morton and Alger on the
ticket the republicans could ratify at
Cooper Union and decorate the plat
form with a pair Of barrels.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

AND still not q word from the
Union on men and measures in the
republican party. The Union is get
ting as mute-well, 40 the Union.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

The Hillsboro News calls the re-
publican glove feast" recently he Id
In Springfield "snake dance"
Good name.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

GYPSY QUsEN-yUsT ARRIVED AND WILL
~ inform the public nj her wonderful powers
In reading the palm Of the hand. telling the past,
present and future lost. or stolen property, the
lame OF your future companion. weheth.r falee
or trne Private consultations. all from O.
m. 10 p. m. ISL Twenty. fourth street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

Pltch4g's castoela.
Ell dren Org for
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

EOR SALE-NAPTHA LAUNCH. A 25-rOOT
4-horse p wer Dsimicr pleasure lsunch.
made to o der for shallow draft. The beet b0at
made. Run mo 'erstriy for two aeasons. will
sscrifce for q cd rea.on. Particulars furnished
and guaranteed. Address box iS,, La Crosse,
VIE.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

OF M TO ANY MAN OR WOMAN WE
p1VO cannot teach to draw Q crayon por-
trait by our patent method in three lessons. We
pay our pupils $40 to SIS per week to work for
us at home. evenings or spare time. Send for
WORK and particulars. Hermann q Seymour, :iS
South sixth street, Philadelphia, Pa.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

WANTED-MEN WHO wILL WORK FOR
" ys5 month salary or large commission
selling staple goods by sample to dealers. TX
perie nee unnecessary. Write ne. Household
Specially company, a ". Fourth street. Cincin-
natl, Ohio.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

WANTED - HOUsEKEEPHRS TO KNOW
W that Crystal marble enameled preserving
kettle also Acme cake bea'er and Red Star silver
polish. is cold by agenta permanently located at
SIS Twenty-fouuh street. An s-quart kettle In
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

WANTED-SCHOLARS TO LEARN THE
W French KELLOGG system At 1911 Second ave-
nue.. The comp etc system embraces the model,
complete instructions in cutting. fitting. French
basting and boning for only $40 Usual price for
system complete. SIS. Mrs. II. E. Lawson.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15
LEGAL.
Adminlstrstor's Notice.

Administrstor's Notice.
Estate Of samuel Heagy, deceased.
The undersigned having been appointed I'd.
ministratrix Of the estate Of Samuel Heagy,
ate Of the county Of Rock leland. etAt~ 81
Illinois, deceased, hereby gives notice that she
VII eppear before the cocnty court OF Rock Island
county. ct the once Of the clerk Of said court, In
he city Of Rock Island, at the April term On
he drst Monday In April next, Ct which time
ootined and requested TO attend, for the purpose
having tie sAmc adjustsA ~
: An pefeons indebted to said estate are request
cd 70 make In mediate payment 10 the under
iRned.
Dsted this lith day Of February, A. d. 1870.
HENRIETTA ". nRAGY, Administrators,
Administrstor's Notice.
Estate Of Mary D. z schave, deceased.
The undersigned having been appointed admin
ietrator Of the estate Of Mary d. 3. Schave,
late Of the county Of Rock Island, state
Of Illinois, deceased hereby gives notice that he
win appear before the county court Of Rock Island
county, 1t the once # the clerk Of said court in
the arsI Monday in April next. at which time
all persons having claims against said estate are
notified and requested to attend, for the purpose
Of having the same adjusted.
All persons indebted to said estate are fequee.
ted 10 make immediate payment to the under.
sfened.
Dated tbs I4th day of February. A. D.. 1885,
HANS SCHAvE, Administrator.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

WANTED-TO BUY FOR Cash SECOND
W hand soods Of every description. Money {,
stored and sold on ccmmieeion. Leave yopr or
der 1t 1879 second svsnue.-J. W. Jones.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

DAIRY B IRWIN, DEALER IN NEW AND
u secondhand eoods, also goods handled On
ture Bef we buying give me Q eall-isll second
avenue, Rock Island.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

COR sAlE-A FIRsT-cLAss SHOOTING
gallery in good order, with or without rifles
cheaD fer cash IL sold quick. Address Charles
WOLF. No. lei Eighteenth street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-02-15

WANTRD-ENGAGRNENrs By A CERT.
W lied professional nurse, late OF Manchester
England. Terms very reasonable. Apply ISL
Fourth avenue.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
Patents issued.

List of patents issued last week To
Northwestern inv antors:
John c. Barber, st. Paul, Mimi, car
truck; George Fl. Herbert. Anaconda,
Mont; strainer for air-brake hose
couplings: Alva Hunt, st Paul. Mint.
automatic grain measuring apparatus;
Leslie c. Lane, Minneapolis, Mimi,
seal for bottles: Francis McTaggart.
IrOqueiS. 5. d.. car coupling; Arthur
Il. Peck. Minneapolis, Mimi. bicycle
saddle; Henry L. Spaulding, Canasto-
tn. $. D., grain bundle stacker; Charles
T.. Travis, Minneapolis, MIMI, design
bicycle brace OF )rk.
L. d. Merwin, Patent Lawyer. 90
Pioneer Press Building, st. Paul, Mimi.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
He obeyed her and reseated him

He obeyed her and reseated him.
self.
Il can never tear myself away, if
you are so kind he said
She nodded, she could not speak.
His great-grandfather, she was
thinking, wore three hats and dealt
in secondhand ward-robes has not
got a sixpence in the world--he has
been Tilted but when the bell was
answered she spoke out her order
clearly and with decision:
xviii you tell Miss Helen that Mr.
Jones is here, and ask her to come
down and make tea p
Miss Milford was too agitated to take
notes, SO to speak, Of the situation. but
she could not avoid seeing him start
OH hearing the exclamation:
Helen? Helen here, in this house -
before Lis edlmer reception of the news
by the remark. Il had no idea Miss
Milford was With YOU reached her.
AS the door opened she watched him,
wondering Wheather it was her fancy
which made his face look so white;
but the incomer was not Helen but
Betsey with the ten.
Miss Helen went ten minutes ago,
am; she has gone to the post
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
Sarsa pariIIa
Jnmninc a stray

Some years ago the late Roddy Ow-
Ell was at Aldershot, and offered to
back himself TO make Il horse he was
riding jump Il straw. Everyone
laughed and though his fondness for
horses was we'll known, none believed
that he could accomplish the feat. \
long straw was brought and laid on
the ground. Owen proceeded to blind
fold the horse, and rode him at the
mark, which the animal cleared with
bound that would have settled
five barred gate. When he returned to
collect the bets all the sportsmen had
vanished.-Army and Navy Journal.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
IL sounds Cruel.

How l would love-" said the eldest
and much the heaviest of the Snigsby
girls. ito sit on yonder snowy cloud
and float across the azure empyrean.
Wouldn't it be a daring experience to
ride on cloud?"
Yes" said young Mr. Mallow, as he
looked at the cloud in question. ''but
I'm sure you'd go through it all right. :
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
Didn't Like That Kind of MILK.

Mrs, Youngmother. (summering in the
country)-John, have got to send
word to that farmer not to bring any
more of this milk for the baby.
John-What is the matter with it?
Mrs. Youngmother-Why there is a
regular scum on it every morning
New York World
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
Gladness Comes

With better understanding of the
w transient nature of the many phys
zeal ills, which vanish before proper eff
forts--gentle efforts-pleasant efforts
rightly directed. There is comfort in
the knowledge, that so many forms of
sickness are not due to any actual dis
ease, but simply to a constipated condi-
ton of the system, which the pleasant
family laxative, Syrup of Figs, prompt
ly removes. That is why it is the only
remedy with millions of families, andis
everywhere esteemed so highly by all
who value good health. It's beneficial
effects are due to the fact, that II is the
one remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness without facilitating the
organs on which it acts. 1t is therefore
all important, in order to get it's bene-
fetal effects, to note when you pur-
chase, that you have the genuine arti-
Gle, which is manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co. only and sold by
all reputable druggists.
If in the enjoyment of good health,
and the system is regular, laXatlves or
other remedies are then not needed. III
afflicted with any actual disease, one
NAV be commended to the most sl1illful
physicians, but if in need of a laxative,
1ns .hould have the best, and with the
wel.-informed everywhere, Syrup OF
Figs stands highest and is most largely
used AMI gives most general satisfaction.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
Row He Got His Decorations.

She-Maj, Pommelwell wears three
medals. l wonder why they were
given him?
He-He got the third because he had
the other two; the second because he
had the first, and the first because he
had none at all.-Washington Times,
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
ChoIIy's Contribution.

Jaw, Miss Feighr." asked Chawles
Algernawn Chapp, dye know why it
is l think you are like a mirror?"
Give it up
We'll, y'see. you're n-aw-a good
looking lass. Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
The ono Rlack sheep.

Hicks-The fellows in our class have
all turned out pretty well, haven't
they?
Wicks-Yes, all except jenkins You
know he was a politician. Someryiile
Journal.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
He Has 1t Sill

why don't you take something for
that cold?"
Great Scott! don't want anything
for it'd give it away if l could. =
RoXbury Gazette.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01

we will forfeit 81, 900 if any of our pub
liShcd testimonials are proven to be not
genuine. The Piso Co., Warren, Pa.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
An Ideal State.

She-Do you suppose his wife really
supports him:
He-I judge so. He told me he did
not know what real happiness meant
until after he got married.-Puck
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
.aPuIling HIS Leg.

ssWhy do they say a mans leg has
been pulled after he has spent money
on a girl?"
because he is short afterward. -
Wrinkles.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01

San Francisco bakers have decided to
abandon Christmas practice of presenting
cakes to customers
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All
Druggists refr the money if it fails TO cure. 25c
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01

Hegeman's Camphor Ice with Glycerine.
Cures Chopped Hands and Face Tender or Sore Feet,
Chblains, Piles, &c. c. g. Clark Co. New Haven, CT.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01
No Mirrors in the Manufactory.

JOH0Hy III, you SdIU MT. IptT WIS
a self-made man, didn't you?
Pa-Yes.
Johnny-Wcll, he amt.
Pa--Why do you think he is not?
Johnny-Look at his red hair and
freckles Leader.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-12-01

Mrs. NVic2slovv's Soothing Syrup
For chilli ething sofens the ums reduces nam
nation allays pam wind collie. rs cents bottle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-28
HE DRANK.
There VTas a Delay, but the Youth Col
There In Due Time.

There VTas a Delay, but the Youth Got
There In Due Time.
A young man with a delicate straw COL
ored mustache and football hair parted in
the center and glued down to his temples
sauntered carelessly into one of the su-
perior COASTS the other day. He eyed the
judge through his glasses and sized up all
the attorneys. Then he walked up to the
bar and poured out glass of ice water.
The judge, who is nervous and testy,
had observed the young man and frowned
down on the glued hair and glasses. When
the young man boldly walked up to the
bar and took glass of ice water, the Judge
fairly boiled with Indignation at such te-
merity, amounting almost to contempt.
The young msn was just raising the glass
to his lips when the judge roared:
''That water, sir, is for attorneys and
other officers of the COURT
The glass almost dropped from his hand,
he started violently, turned red, then
placed the glass on the table and walked
out of the court. The Judge chuckled
Half an hour later the young man entered
the courtroom again with roll of parch-
ment in his hand. The judge glared at
him savagely, but he never f1inched. FL
nally there was lulI in the proceedings,
and he addressed the court:
"Your HONOR
''What is it, STRIP
81 wish to submit to tho court my GER
titicate of admission to practice in the su-
preme court and all other courts of this
state" And no passed the parchment to
the clerk.
well, what of that?'' growled the judge.
"Now, your honor, having presented the
proofs of my admission to the bar, would
now move the court that I be permitted to
drink from the official pitcher" And he
calmly drained the glass of water he had
left on the table.-San Francisco Post.