Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-02-28
dtjauside Gatherin9s.

reckon up your ueIecIS Iuau W ooaSool
your attainments.
H6r Judge-Have you ever seen the
prisoner at the bar? Witness-Nev.
er, your honor, but I've seen him
when I strongly suspected he'd been
at it.
p6- "I'm afraid, Johnny" said the
Sunday-school teacher rather severe
ly, that I will never meet you in
Heaven" "Why? What you been
doin' now?"
p@- The true Christian is like the
sun, which pursues his noiseless track,
and everywhere leaves the effect OF
his beams in blessing upon the world
around him.
R@ Fannie-Papa, Mr.. Havemuch
has asked me to marry him. Papa
And, my child, do you think you love
him ? Fannie (astonished)-Love him,
papa? Why, he's worth million
dollars.
p4- Few people are aware that the
Bermudas consist of group of 800
small islands (1S or 20 inhabited), stu.
ated $50 miles east of North Carolina,
The population of these islands in
1898 was 1853.
H@- A man who possesses every other
title to our respect except that of cour-
tesy is in danger of forfeiting all. A
rude manner renders its owner always
liable to affront. He is never without
dignity who avoids wounding the dig
nifty of others.
ndg- A heavenly census is now being
taken by the Paris Observatory. To
count the stars, the heavens are pho.
tographed in sections. Some of these
sections show only a dozen stars, while
others of the same dimension show
over 1,500.
sH- 81 feel" said the young man, to
her father, "that existence without
your daughter would be only dreary
task, whose completion could not come
too soon." every WE'LL" said the old
gentleman, stake her, and present.
ly you'll feel the same was' only more
p@- "Johnny," he whispered to her
little brother, "did your sister get a
note from me last night /? 1t was writ
ten on pink paper" ~ think she
must have got it," said Johnny,
"'cause when she came down to break
fast this morning her hair was done up
in pink curl-papers."
BH- A lady in Americus, Ca, is using
a lamp chimney she has had and used
daily for the past eight years, and she
expects to use it for many years yet
She says that she boiled it in salt water
when it was bought in 1882, and no
matter how large flame runs through
it, it won't break.
p@ Mamma, know the gentleman's
name that called to see Aunt Ellie last
night, and nobody told me, either"
"Well, then, what is it, Bobby p
"Why, George Don't, I heard her say
George Don't in the parlor four or five
times hand-running. That's what his
name is"
p@ An Englishman was boasting to
Yankee that they had a book in the
British museum which was once owned
by Cicero. "Oh, that amt nothin',"
retorted the Yankee; "In the museum
in Bosting they've got the lead-pencil
that Noah used to check off the animals
that went into the ark"
pT "Do you take many periodicals ?'
asked young minister on his first
visit to one his parishioners. 30, no,
sir" replied the good woman ; III never
do, but I'm sorry to say that my
husband takes periodical about once
in every two months. wish you could
induce him to sign the pledge"
s9 A cautious old woman, when
asked what she thought of one of her
neigbors, of the name of Jones, with a
knowing look, replied: "Why, / don't
like to say anything about my neigh
bors but as to Mr.. Jones, sometimes l
think, and then again I don't know
but, after all, rather guess he'll turn
out to be a good deal such sort of man
as take him to be-"
Hd- The marriage wasn't month
old, the young bride and her visiting
mother sat watching the clock work
toward midnight. "What is that
heavy, broken, uncertain footstep COM
ing up the stairs ?" said the mother-in-
law sternly. II guess it's George,
mamma. You know he always stut-
tered, and here Of late it seems to have
got somehow into his walk.
p9 "Would you mind holding my
baby moment" inquired the young
matron, sweetly, "while I 60 into the
next car and get a drink for Fido ?'
The elderly but well-preserved travel
er shook his head suspiciously. "Please
excuse me, madam" he said, politely
~ can't do that, but will-er-take
pleasure in holding Fido while you 60
and get the baby a drink"
p9- Professor G. A. L. Totten, OF
New Haven, has issued perpetual
calendar almanac for all past and all
future time. The author says it is the
only thing of its kind in existence
By means of simple key, every day
q