Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-04-21
oowrs FOR oesuTANTes.
Rules For Those Who Are About TO Enter
or Have just Entered Society.


It is good thing to have some rules
with which TO work out life's problems,
and here are some that have been picked
up and tested by contributor TO the
Washington Star and found to be good:
Always take it for granted that every
one means well by you unless you have
proof TO the contrary. The average per-
son in society has good natured, or at
least q cynical, sort Of tolerance and lik-
ing for you. Very few actually hate you
or want to spite you. When You find out
that there il some one who does, don't
discuss il or quarrel about it IL it can be
avoided. Just drop the person from your
life as completely as possible. and,
above all, never descend to abuse him or
her. Il will hurt you worse than it will
your enemy. Never treasure mp griev-
ance; it viii grow out of all proportion
with nursing
Don't snub other women and girls
Just because there Is "a man around. This
is the mos; fragrant fault Of girl who
has not learned relative values. The
man will not like you any better for
ignoring n girl friend and earnestly de-
voting yourself ID him. A great many
debutantes think their success depends
upon the men. IL is "a sad mistake. IL Is
the married women and your girl com
radeS who can give you good time, or
not, in the end. Very few women dis
like you because Of your successes. IL Is
becauss Of your Haunting them.
Never ignore older and married men.
They will not forgive it, and they WELD
q mighty power.
Don't wonder what construction Will
be put ON everything you say, the way
you hold your head and the way you
laugh.
Don't wonder what people are think
ing OF your pose, and your gown. and
your hands. and the position Of your
feet. Ten 10 one they don Z even see you,
and if they do they are not bothering
their heads about you. This Is not kind,
but IL Is eminently true. A very young
girls worst fault is her self conscious
ness. II may be the consciousness Of her
shortcomings, but that is even more
veIing that an appreciation OF her yir-
tues.
Don't be wondering what you will
say next. A pause is nothing deadly, IL
you do not make il so. Probably by the
time you have finished saying what you
have in mind new topic will be sug-
gested. Trying TO say sometbing-any-
thing-to fill in hiatus Is the most po-
tent cause Of that mistake commonly
known Us putting your foot in II.
Don't frequent tete-a-tete corners.
Only experienced and much older girls
can do that with impunity.
Don't giggle. but, on the other hand,
don't look as If you were at wedding
or funeral
Use your eyes TO say what it doesn't
happen to be practical TO say with your
tongue.
II you happen TO be left stranded for
one dance, never sit all alone on one
side Of the wall TO be pitied. Get up and
60 over 10 some group Of matrons, and
don't fancy that the whole room il
watching your transit. Ii is much too
busy talking and dancing. Here, again.
Ion Z think Of yourself. There is moth
ing SO wretched as would be indif
ferent wallfoweE She can't possibly
look as though she liked IL, and there is
not the least use in trying to smile it
of.
Above all things, never discuss an az
fair where you were failure. Never
admit that you were failure. Keep
quiet about il if you can't enthuse. It
doesn't do to explain the causes.