Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-11-11
SPINNING WHEEL.

SPINNING WHEEL.
Tall men live longer than short ones.
Women have more chances of life in
their favor previous to so years of age
than men have, but fewer afterwards
The number of marriages is in the pro-
portion of 70 to 1000 individuals. Those
born in the spring are generally OF 4
more robust constitution than others.
Births are more frequent by night than
by day; also deaths The number OF men
capable of bearing arms is calculated at
one-fourth of the population.
A Bond of Sympathy are test
ing a new armor-plate. 1t had success
fully resisted shot after shot.
Here said a bystander, try TINS
new projectile' And he tossed disk OF
dark-brown material to the chief gun
ner.
A moment later and the charge passed
right through the wrecked armor-plate.
"Have you any more of those remark
able projectilesY' inquired the aston
ished artillery officer.
"I'Il see if | can get you couple; OF
basketfuls tomorrow afternoon, replled
the stranger, with a grim smile. I'VE
have loads Of 'em at home"
'Then they are
''My wife's latest baking Of ginger
bread"
By common impulse the two men;
SO strangely thrown together, clasped
hands in cordial sympathy.
Il married a girl who had attended
cooking classes myself" said the ord
nance officer.
Have one with me-" feelingly re-
marked the stranger.
Then they turned aside and sampled
small bottle OF dyspepsia tonic.
The vicar OF q North London parish
relates, with much gusto, the following
story about himself. His present wife,
by the way, is not the wife CT his youth,
nor yet of his early manhood, but the
lady of his third choice, and, as con
sequence, the doctors set OF olive
branches spring from divers maternal
ancestry.
"Such a condition of affairs said the
doctor, might at times become embar-
RAISING except for the thorough anna
bility of all concerned. l confess, how
ever, to a slightly Disconnected feeling
when, shortly before my third marriage,
| was approached by one of my daugh-
ters-a girl of 8, and who had called
my second wife mother-with the ques-
ton:
Papa, will you let me go to see you
married? I have never been at any OF
your weddings"
"The death of Mr.. du Maurier brings
to mind" writes correspondent, "a
comical story he once told. One of his
favorite views was from his study Win
dow at Hampstead. across his own
lawn. to the landscape surrounding
Harrow On one occasion an American
visited the artist, and the latter was
showing his guest about the place.
There he exclaimed, on arriving at the
study window, that is the prettiest thing
of all. That is Harrow The visitor
looked out of the window for few sec
onds, but his gaze rested, not on the
view. but on a mowing-machine which
happened to be on the lawn. Harrow!
he echoed, inquiringly. Yes, repeated
the artist, keeping his eyes riveted on
the view, Harrow Is that so? cues
toned the practical American; well,
now, do you know I took it for lawn
mower And it was said in all serious
ness, too."-We Gazette.
-:o:-
Jones Ito Smith)-"How is business?'
Poor was the reply. Il met with
an accident the night before last Burg
lars broke into my shop, but left every
thing as they found it. Goods were
marked so low they came back yesterday
and bought them.
Nineteenth-century man is making
such rapid and wonderful practical appli-
cations of electrical energy there is no
telling where it will end 1t may ex-
ercise an influence even over the word
ing of future advertisements and have
something TO do with such advertising
announcements as the following, which
Fame says may be expected in n few
NpyU 9-Al l.
en- Pledges Repaired" Hollow Hearts
Filled to Order marble Halls Fur
nished," "Glad Hands Repolished,"
Hard Hearts Melted Down." Gray
Hair Dyed" "Parched Lips Made Ru-
Rg E3es Sell HsaFf e Res srnps Fnr
nshed," Broken Hearts Mended,"
Fond Memories Revived
The late Col. Jack Gambill went to see
Edwin Forrest in "Othello' along in
1866. Coming out of the theater some
body asked Col. Jack, who was a strong
secession sympathizer, what he thought
roared old Jack; "why, think it is one
of the legitimate consequences of old Abe
Lincoln's emancipation proclamation"
A funny incident that happened dur
ing performance of Verdi's Macbeth"
in Dublin, is recorded by Arditi in his
"Reminiscences. In the sleep-walking
scene, when the nurse and the doctor
appear on the stage together, and CON
fabulate with one another, loud voice
suddenly called out from the gallery,
causing a roar of laughter in the middle
of a most serious scene: Halo, doe
tor! Well, is it a boy or grip
-:O:-
When Richard Harding Davis met the
viceroy, Lii Hung Chang, in ST. Peters
burg. he was asked how old and how
rich he was, and what he did He re-
piled: Il write books" 'Why 10 YOU
writer said Ii; "are you not strong
enough to work?'
1t is said of a former Marquis of
Townshend that when young and engaged
IL battle he saw a drummer at his side
killed by cannon-ball, which scattered
his brains in every direction
His eyes were at once fixed on the