Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1896-10-26
HINDSIGHT.

Alas! The cruelty of fate,
The printer made it nose"
Philadelphia North American.
She-"Did you know that Maud has
a dark room on purpose for proposals! =
He-"Well, rather! | developed a
negative there myself last night
Comic Home Journal.
MAY | kiss you, Miss Jane? II am
sorry to see, Mr.. Briggs, that you, too,
are affected by the prevailing cause of
business depression" "And that is?'
Lack of confidence Then he kissed
her.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Richard-"How are you and Miss
Smarte getting on? Does she smile up
on your suit?"
Robert-"Smile upon it? She actually
laughs at it."-Boston Transcript.
What is the compliments reputation
for truth and veracity?" asked the law
yer.
ut is generally good, 1 think an
swered the witness. though in telling
about the size of the snakes he has
killed. he seems to be inclined to go to
almost any length. indianapolis Jour
nal.
Toni don't know whether she sings
or not"
Jack-"She doesn't; I heard her.
Pick-Me-Up.
JUST AS EASY.
The miracles of longtime back
At modern magic pall
For papers partisan can pack
Ten thousand persons, white and black,
In a two-thousand hall.
Duncan Smith.
Funniman-"We were in the heart
of the mine when the lights went out,
and not a match in the party"
Sillicus-''How did you get out?"
Funniman-'Well, | had taken the
precaution to bring light lunch with
me. philadelphia Record.
81 wonder why fat people are so uni
versally good natured?" queried the
speculative boarder.
For the reason" answered the cheer
full idiot, that it would take a fat man
so much longer to get mad clear
through. "-Indianapo Journal
Her Father-''You say she has accept
ed you?''
Suitor-"Yes, STRIP
Her Father-'"Then. suppose, this is
merely a ratification meeting ?"-Puck.
FINANCIAL AUTHORITY
A fellow may not have cent
And live off some relation;
And still be amply competent
To save this mighty nation.
Chicago Record.
Most of FRAMES Wilson's jokes III
"Half King" pertain to the play. A
few Of his witty epigrams, however, de-
serve to be quoted:
"a man can say things in four minutes
that he will spend 40 years in regret
ting"
eff people would stop to think before
they get married, children would become
obsolete"
AN AUTUMN REFLECTION.
You may shake, you may batter the coat as
you will,
The scent of the moth ball will cling to it
still. Detroit News.
An old Saxon forester gives the fol
lowing recipe as a sure preventive OF
hydrophobia Take Immediately after
the bite warm vinegar or tepid water,
wash the wound clean Herewith, and
then dry it; then pour upon the wound
a few drops of hydrochloric acid.
It is said that he has successfully prac-
ticed this treatment for fifty years.
Strange, isn't it, that sleep won't
come to me at night
t"Then why don't you go to sleep?"-
Roxbury Gazette.
Arabian laws of loneliness say that to
be beautiful woman's physique must
tally exactly with the following schedule:
Her hair. eyebrows, lashes and pupils
must be black: skin, teeth and globe of
the eye. white; head, neck, ankles, arms
and waist, round: back fingers, arms
and limbs, long; forehead, eyes and lips,
large; eyebrows, nose and feet narrow;
ears and hands small.
Shelby teacher in cooking says that
Whatsoever a man eateth, that shall he
also be-
He-"Great heavens, Maria. Is that
the reason you've been feeding me Oh
angel food for a week ?''-Judge
Frederic Bond, in MY Friend from
India" gives Perkins pair of trousers,
remarking that they are good fit.
Good fit for a man of my years." re-
plies Perkins, 'but for any other man
they would be a CONFUSION.