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The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-08-31
For sale.i

4 fine fresh Jersey COW. Apply at the
California winehouse. aug29-2a*
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-08-31

w. S. Geary, the piano tuner, in a let
ter desires us to say that he will be in
The Dalles shortly, and that no one is
authorized to use his name. Orders left
at either music stores will receive
prompt attention. ang3I-2t
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-08-31
wAYsIpE eLEANINes.

Random Observations and Local Events
of Lesser Magnitude.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-08-31
MARRIED.

At the residence of the BRIDES parents,
near Rowena. Aug. Both, by j. NJ. Fill
loon, j. P, Miss Josie E. Welsh to Mr..
VIM. Cripps.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
PROBLEM IN ETIQUETTE.
Contradictory Affidavits From Two
Doctors PerpIex the Court


London Truth.
"A novel ana interesting question OF med
icaI etiquette was raised in the Brighton
court the other day. One doc
tor had made an affidavit to the effect that
a bankrupt named William RCser was too
i'll to attend court, that his nervous sys-
TEN was shattered and that he was not
likely to recover unless the probability
OF such an ordeal as u public examination
was removed. On the other hand, an
affidavit by second doctor suggested that
the debtors absence was due, not to his
physical condition, but to his unwillingness
to attend and that il he would get through
his public examination he would really in
crease his chances OF improvement.
The debtors solicitor contended that
this opposition affidavit was "an abuse
Of professional privilege, as the Information
could only have been obtained as between
patient and medical attendant" The
registrar held, however, that even IL it
involved a breach of medical etiquette
he could not reject the second affidavit,
and as two medicos had disagreed as to
the state of the debtors health, he ad-
journed the examination in order that the
opiniono of a third might be obtained.
1t appears to me that this was a very
satisfactory and iudcious decision. Carried
in its logical conclusion the argument pat
forward on behalf OF this debtor would
mean that il one medical man has once
pronounced a person unfit to attend, no
other doctor ought to express an opinion
on the subject. No doubt it would be a
vastly convenient arrangement for many
people whose attendance is desired in
courts of law, but 1t is scarcely desirable
in the interests OF justice which are. after
all, almost as important to the community
as the etiquette of the medical profes.
sion.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
-
. AND OHM
RAILROAD, r.

Schedule in effect June 20, 1896.
Leave Washington from station corner
Of New Jersey Avenue ana I street, street;
Limited trains II 80 a. M, sos D. N
For Cincinnati. St. Louis. and 1ndianap
oils. vesnbuied Limited. 3-4o p M ex-
For Pittsburg and Cleveland. express
daily 11-30 "a. IN. and $40 D. m
For Berkeley Springs s;45 p: m. daily.
and sos p. IN. Saturday only.
For Deer Park. Mountain Lake Park and
For Winchester and way stations. b5sO
For Luray Natural Bridge, Roanoke.
New Orleans, 1880 p. m. daily, sleeping
cars through.
For Luray, 3.45 p m. daily.
FS6 sa!t@oIs x7os fo Tse9 as6S xsoS 500
e .s9 ;xlo % xl2 90 a. m;1I2 %, II 10,
IS. 10 ks. 80, 6.s5, xS. 20, s 80. Is. 10. s. is.
Ks. 20, Ills, XII 80, p. m; and x12.01
night, Sundays, x 90, X1lo, $50, xS. 20.
S.s5.4.s2, x5.05. .x5 10. s. so. Ks. 90, x9 20.
II. 15, II L so p. M, x1 2 oil night
For Annapolis, 10 and $; 80 q. m: IL. 10
and 4.2S d. III. sundays, $50 a. m, 4.S2-
For Frederiok. as 90, b1 / so a. m. ci15.
b4.3O, bo.3O p m.
rOT hdeciseo"" - A-oN q, III ,'Aho oo'o0
For Boyd and way points. week days 800
a. m, 43o, $50. 7.05 p. m. Sundays.
S.OOa. m, 10, T05p. m
For Gaithersburg and way points. week
4.sS. $50. 5s5, T:o5. / |. SO, p: n. Sun:
days, 800 a. m, LIS, o.3o. '-oo. lO-25
For Washington Junction and way points.
a9 90 a. m. ellis p. M Express trains
stopping at principal stations only. o4.3O.
hS 40
For bay Ridge, week days, s.15 g. M
and 4.2S .. m. Sundays, S.35 a. m. 1.3O
' From Bay Ridge. week days. e:1b a. m.
$50 and s:l5 p. IN. Sundays. 500 and
ROYAL Blue LINE For NEW YORK
AND PHILADELPHIA
All trains Illuminated witt Pintscb light:
For Philadelphia, New York, Boston and
the East, week days ZOO, 100, 500.
1000 a. m. Dining Car 120S, II 80,
night. sleeping Car open at 1890 o'clock.
SUNDAYS, Il o5 Dining Carr 800 o. m.
Dining Carr t12.35 Dining Carl 500,
f5.O5 Dining Carr 500, t12-01 night
Sleeping car open for passengers 1000
Buffet Par,or Cars on all trains
For Atlantic City. o 90 m, IL. 90 noon.
and 2.35 D. m week days. Sundays, IL. .35
For Cape May. Q. 90 i. m, / 2. 90 noon.
bExcept Sunday. aDaily. cSunday only.
xExpress train
tells and residence by Union Transfer Com
pany. on orders left at ticket offices, 619
PENNSYLVANIA avenue northwest, New York
avenue and Fifteenth street, and at depot
WM. B. GREENE, CHAS. O. sCULL,
Gen. Mana ger. Gen. Pass-Agent
The morning times., 1896-06-28

lisa curious fa Ct that some Of the greatest
orations ever delivered had only a hand
ful Of immediate auditors. The name
Of Patrick Henry or Daniel Webster
suggest vast concourse of people
moved to enthusiasm by stirring words and
tratoricsl periods. On the contrary when
these men made their imnie rtal address
there were only few people aud many
empty benches about them. But their
audience is not their generation, nor ours
only. but all posterity, such is the power
cf the printing press. In April many sig
nificant utterances were made by dis
tinguisbed men which will. perhaps, find
their echo in some distant day. 1t was on
the occasion Of the American conference
on International arbitration. There were
few at the gatherings. but the addresses
were Of exquisite beauty as we'll as sig
nificant force. They were not Permitted to
die upon tie ears of the auditors and the
high roof. steBographic pencils caught the
words from silver tongues and type has
embalmed them into handsome and
valuable volume. The Baker and Taylor
Company publish this book which will be
Of immediate interest to all who were
present at tie conference and IL will per-
petuate the effect Of the stirring utteranccs.
In addition to the speeches verbatim there
is given documentary history OF the in
ternatirnal arbitration movement. a mum.
her # resolutions and other details of the
session.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
n RAILROADS.
Southern Railway.
PIEDMONT AIR LINE.)
tscbedule in effect June IA. 1867

tScbedule In effect June IA. 1867
All trains arrive and leave Penns ylyania
a. in.-Daily. local for Danviile connects
at Manassas for Strasburg, daily, except
Sunday, and at Lynchburg with the Nor
folk and Western, daily, and with the Ches-
apeake and Ohio. daily, for the Natural
Bridge and Clifton Forge.
11:I5a. m.-Daliy, the UNITED STATES
FAST NAIL, carries Pullman Buffet Sleep
ers, New York and Washington to Jackson
vile, uniting at Salisbury with Pullman
Sleeper for Asheville and Hot Springs. N.
c., Knoxville and Chattanooga, Tenn, ana
at Cha rlotte with Pullman Sleeper for
Augusta, also Pullman Sleeper New York
TO New Orleans. via Montgomery, connect
ing at Atlanta with Pullman Sleeper for
Birmingham, Memphis and St. Louis.
4:01 p. m.-Locai for Front Royal. River
ton and trasburg, daily, except Sunday.
1913 p. m.-Daily, wAsHINGTON AND
SOUTHWESTERN vESTIBULED, LIN
TIED, composed OF Pullman vestibdled
seepsgrs pg New York aas S
and Hot Springs, N. New York to Tampa.
via. Charlotte, Columbia, Savannah. and
Jacksonville. and New York TO Memphis
via Atlanta and Montgomery. Vestibuled
day coach Washington to Atlanta, Southern
Railway dining car. Greensboro 10 Mont
TRAINS ON WASHINGTON AND OHIO
DIVISION leave Washington 9:O1 a. m.
daily; 90 p. IN. and 4:45 p. m daily, ex-
for Round Hill. lac p. M: daily except
Sunday, for Leesburg, end 6:25 p. m
daily for HerndoB. Returning. arrive at
Washington S:26 a. IN. and 700 p. m
daily, aud 500 p. m. daily. except Sunday.
from Round Hill. and 1:06 a. m. daily, ex-
cept Sunday. from Herndon, and s:34 a. m.
daily, except Sunda Y, from Leesburg.
Through trains from the South arrive at
Washington SAC a. m. 2 20 p. m and $40
p. m, daily, Manassas division; 1000
q. m. daily, except Sunday, and $40 a m.
daily, from Cha rlCttesville.
Tickets, sleeping car reservation and in
formation furnished atoffices oil and 1900
Pennsylvania avenue. and at Penns ylvania
Railroad Passenger Station.
w. Ii. GREEN, Gen. Supr.
j. NJ. CCLP, Traffic Manager.
W. A. TURK, Gen Pass. Agent.
L. s. BROWN, &c en-. Agent Pass Dept.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
\ xACMILLAN COMPANY have published
wi in "a First Fleet Family''a chap
ter from the history OF New South
Wales that in some respects re-
lIu R1acE the pil-

grim Fathers. The First Fleet went TO
round British colony, but it sailed to
find In New South Wales Il prison instead
ings the contrast is only deepened, for
in place Of" a stern and rock-bOund coast"
it met great greenness and the choisest
gifts of climate" But such parallels
are quickly forgotten In the interest OF
the story. 1t is told by one SeTgt- Dew,
who as boy allowed himself TO be mixed
up with smuggling affair, but on testi-
mony given by the leader OF the band is
allowed to escape by enlisting in the un-
popular Botany Bay expedition. Simply
but yividiy he tells or the voyage of the
transports and the guard envoy; of the
attempted mutiny on shipboard: of the
government of that half sullep, half rest
less colony during the first years stress
of insufficient supplies. 1t was excit-
ing enough TO him, for among the pris-
oners We're the smu1g!ers whose sentence
had SO nearly been his own. Their leader
was his old friend, and With him was the
woman they both had loved. She had been
caught helping the smuggler to break jail
and was transported with him. With him,
too, she and nine Others attempt the al
most impossible enterprise of escaping in
an open boat. There is plenty of Incl
dent for those who wish chiefly story
of adventure, and those who want more
may be satisfied that it is a true history,
fully corroborated by the Historical
Records published by the government of
New South Wales
The morning times., 1896-06-28
vAat would the Doctor Think?

certain well known specialist on throat
affections was on one occasion called to
treat a lady who manifested SO much in
terest in his surgical instruments that he
took infinite trouble to explain their uses
to her. This laryngoscope," be re-
marked, ''is fitted with electric lights
in such ma Dner that the interior of your
throat will be seen by me as clearly as
the exterior. You would be astonished
TO know how far down we can see with
an instrument Of this kind"
The operation over, the lady appeared
much agitatcd, and her sister, who was
present, said:
.Poor sirii 1t must have been dread
fully painful
"0h, 1t wasn't that" said the lady,
family, "but Just az he fixed that laryDgos-
cope In position remembered that had
q hole In the heel Of ms stocking. just
imagine what the doctor win think o1
n,ers--Tid- Bits.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
HxhsSeas.

II wonder. SAID the captain, as an
other mountainous wave broke over the
steamer. tsif that tenor we have on board
is a .hoodoo. We'ves been striking high
seas all the way oct. .''--New York World.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
BsstoSSese.

"And l. underdsand.. !. said the visitor
to the prison. etnat 3Ou have made sew
erai attempts to escape"
YES" sighed She fforner resident Of
Boston a.sI'm sunewhat dissatisfied With
my envifoumentst'-Ne York World.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
Without Any Ain,

Dawkins-I wonder why It is that when
. woman throws u stone at anything she
is apt to hit soinethingiiD an entirely differ
ent direction.
Jawkins -That's1b because she is brought
up without any aim IN life.-Harper's
BaZar.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
POLLY AS A JoKE-cRAckER.
Called Out the Police, Who Found 1t
ReIgning Alone.
Nesc Berne JOul'n0


In the piazza of certain house on Broad
street there hangs gayly painted cage in
which there lives and has its being san
guine, gossiplng, bald-pated old parrot-evi-
IDENTIFY of the weaker sex, for its mouth is
never at rest. Just as soon as the east turns
red aud until the west is grown dark and
somber, does this old girl gossip, sing, screecb
and use naughty language.
Last night a gentleman going bone at a
late hour heard n blood-curdling screech in
front Of this house. He stopped andlistened.
The screech came again, and the very few
and feeble hairs that adorn this gentleman's
Uranium stood up like the porcupine's qulls.
He turned and sped to the police station,
where be related the facts to the officer in
charge. A policeman, we'll armed, was dis
patched to the spot ut once, accompanied by
the gentleman With the shining head. Ar
irving in front of the house the two stopped
and listened.
e! I-t!!-Mur
This was the screech.
The timid gentleman nearly tainted.
swell, III be so-and-soldr' cried the
officer, s.that's Mrs. Wymau's parrot!''
No arrests were made, and the gentleman
says he will go home before dark hereafter.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
I'M CONRAD. a young Englisliman,
lounging about Paris. found a ring
which be at once assumed to have a
n,.cf6 nd rrrifl 4

pealed to bis young and romantic
fancy. and IL seemed to tell him that it came
in his way with a mission for him to fulfill.
and perhaps story for him to tell. 1t clear
ly. as lie thought, told a tale OF a lovers
quarrel. andit found him in themood to SYM
pathize with anybody into whose love
quarrel had pierced. for-well, the rest is
told in Justin McCarthy's narrative of 1.-The
Riddle Ring" which the Appletons publish
this week in the ha ndy Town and Country
Library series. 1t is a trifle unfair to lead
you into the meshes of story and then drop
you. as the patent medicine literature does,
but the sin is diminished In the consciousness
that introduce you to good company. JUS
tin Mccarthy is a capital story teller. THE
Riddle Ring will sustain his reputation and
make rather more popular the terra Gotta
libraries.
The morning times., 1896-06-28

- HE booksellers are crying that the bi
cycle hurts The trade. Their voice
is only one in a great chorus, from
which the bicycle-maker and trade
alone stand apart. 1t more imne-
>piately affects the book trade, which de-
pends upon sedentary rather than peram-
bulatory habits. The Publishers Weekly is
not without hopes. Itrepeats an tpteryiew
with a bookseller, and enthusiastic wheel
man. whose opinion it is that the present
effect of bicycling on the book trade is
only temporary. His theory is that an in
crease In wheeling means at the same time
general increase OF vigor and good health
among the people. Once the first and pres
ent phase Of wheeling IS over. this renewed
vigor will assert itself In a practical man.
ner, as the people once 0ore return TO their
The morning times., 1896-06-28

books aud their lbraries IN better health
and better prepared To enjoy them. Like
all fads, bicycling Will reach climax, and
then the reaction will set In. How nearly
the climax has been reached It would be
rash to 50 $, but the Indications are that tits
not set In sight. Until the manufacturers
touch bottom, so far as prices ure COLI
cerned, there wilibe millions to pass through
the craze, which is for the time demorilz-
Ing the equilibrium OF trade. Thousa Dds
OF years ago, the Weekly reminds ". tho
prophet Nahum lamented, 1.-The city is
full OF the noise Of wheels STU the
world moves. Why, then, should the book
sellers nope and lie unhappy? Let them
take Launce's advice and help to .'set the
world on wheels
The morning times., 1896-06-28

~ ANY unwritten chapters are in the
NJ early history of our country. The
Sonsof the Revolution arereclaiming
the facts from obscurity; that their
work is desultory does not diminish
its value. Every smallest scrap should be
gratefully seized upon before carelessness
and utter forgetsuness claim it absolutely.
The District society has published some
valuable ne W data on the battiefields OF the
Maumee Valley. The president. DR., G..
Brown Goode. contributes an introduction
Prof. Otis T. Mason. writes of Methods Of
Indian Warfare. Mr.. william Van Zandt
Cox writes of the Settlement ofthe North
west Territory and Struggles Against tile
Indians and British in the Maumee VAL
iey;" Hon. James q. Soutliard writes of the
efforts of the Maumee Valley Monumental
the Present Condition of Historic Sites
in the Maunee valleys'' Hon. Stephen North
way writes of the 'Influence of the Wayne
and Harrison Campaigns" and DR.. Thomas
Wilson writes of the Effect OF the Treaty
of Client on the Northwest Territory" The
historical pamphlet is attractively pre-
pared. anda number of ofiilustrationsIend va
riety.
A STORY of an Indian rajah, of whom
= the intrigues of his province made
an exile. for a hero. A lazy Con-
necticut village for his retreat. A
strange prophetic power his heritage.
A beautiful American girl his bride.
Death after few weeks of honeymoon his
vision. Fulfillment after a Country ball,
in the early hours Of morning, in IN old
fashioned library in Maryland manor.
That, in few words, is the unique but
fascinat ting story which the editor Of Life
turned from tea and chocolate creams long
enough TO write for the scribners. Il IL
a composite of weird supernals and amatory
osculations, strong In both elements, but
trifle weakened for the dual insistance.
The last half of the book Is the better.
but the best chapter was not written
how the little Indian prince grew into
the strange environments of q Connecticut
farm We- -after l0riental royalbm.
The morning times., 1896-06-28

I REILLY to certain CRITICISMS made ON
tie poor eui,iIty OF much OF the paper
No.. useL py publishers, George Haven
Putnam in tie New \ elk sun gives as
the reason ior that iact-a reason
which lie admits must seem TO many to lie
wcll-Dight incredible-tEe decrease OF re-
ligious iaDaticism ON Tie eastern shores of
the Mediterranean MyrIads OF pilgrims
used TO cross those dreary deserts on their
way To Mecca, every one OF them being
clothed in flowing garments of finest white
linen. Out of their number hundreds and
thousands would die by the wayside rem
deriDg IL at one time most profitable
business to strip these linen garments
from the bodies and send them 10 the large
paper factories of Europe. II was from this
source, Mr.. Putnam says, that the best
paper was obtained, but the Mobammedans
DO longer in such large numbers undertake
these pilgrimages, therefore, not go many
die by the wayside, and hence the Inability
to ofnrnish so high quality OF paper.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
Washington, Mount Vernon
5 Alexandria Railway Co.

From Station Thirteen -and-a-haif street
and Pennsylvania avenue.
For Aiexandria-6:sO. 2. s. 0. 10. IL. Il l.
M. g. 4:i5. S:i5. 8:i5, T. 8, g. TO- IL Il p. m.
Sunday. first train, Q a. m. last train 10 p. IN.
For Mount Vernon-l0. II, u n m, /, 2, 5,
4I5 p. m. Daily except Sunday.
G. E. ABBOT, GEO. II. PHILLIPS,
General Manager. Gen. Pass. Agent.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
CHAT OF THINGS LITERARY
Some Political Poets Who At
tempt to Write Satire.
SOME VERY NEW WRITING
History ofswedish Literature-Bo Book-
sellers Are the Latest Complain
ants Against the Bicycle.

- HE President Is riding into literature on
tie rather lame Pegasus OF some
poets political who nave entered their
same fliglIty steeds in the November
STAKES. Tne political satire is an old
form OF COMP os.tion, but the iihpa tience OF
voters IN these days does not ADMIT of the
Effectiveness which the shafts formerly pos
sessed- Too few people read them TO endow
them With force or permanency. Though
often crude. they frequently display native
wit OF considerable acerb-ty and Glitter
tan genius for riiyming. II the campaign
as it progresses is TO shower down these
eIiics in tue ratio OF the opening ii will he
conspicuous as poetical battle as well as
a contest of ballots. The first OF these
satircs is written after-a long ways after
the heroic style of Pope. 1t comes all the
way from Albany, and is THE Mugwuinp-
iad-A Vail by One of the Unterrified.'
An Albany brave OF the tribe of Tammany
is theauthor of the 3 400, more or less, lines:
and Mr.. Cleveland is the hero. One OF the
best things is:
Poor mani Life is, indeed, rocky road
To travel since that Eden episode.
With woman just as selfish as of yore,
Ea;iug the apple, giving him the core;
Wearing the pumage, handing him the bill.
With halr his reason, yet with twice his
will.
The other contribution to the satirical
renaissance is discovered from the fronts
page to be from the pen of the author
who has named his effusion The Fat
Knight; His Complete Career, With Con-
quests and Collapse, and Final Marvellous
Triumph" In the preface the author ac-
knowledges that, though he drew his in
rpiration from many sources, the de-
iects, like the general run of editorial
italics, "are our own The idea Is
Quixotic, and the author has juggled
his weighty hero in a clever fashion. He
summons adjectives and expietives TO his
aid with the leg ,rdemain OF magician
with a bottomless florid cornucopia. He
qualities the genus editor with ten solid
pages of uDadu'terated adjectives, and
the wonder is they are complimentary.
He is discursive, aggressive. and ambisu-
Gus, but Re is often Witty and amusing.
Accompanying sketch of an actor be-
ragged and u diamond bedecked Ward
politician the couplet-
You may say what you please, or swear
il, OF sing,
But plainly the pull, not the play, is the
thing.
The opening lines are suggestive of the
style OF Tie eBtire poem:
III this Lcne oI i.Ustieis, leal land OF keen
kDavc,
Once nNeu rare reforrner, fat, solid, glum,
grave,
steatop, eoa,, shallow, sham, solemn,
stCiiI
Firm, so. IN his ways self-satisfied,
soiil;
HIS tr.u.npual trait, chiefest character
is,ic,
Chas.c. .unesty, stem, mature, marked,
majestic,
Oh him we glad sing.
The morning times., 1896-06-28
LEVER men who deIve into figures
and pile them up in amazing attitudes
- and then compare them to the flight
-----af centuries and The nmference OF


and pile them up in amazing attitudes
and then compare them to the flight
of centuries and the circumference OF
the moon are always OF the greatest
diversion to me. They labor at what an
old friend called deal of what is given
too serious cousidcrauion-s.curi Is and.
useless learning" Not long ago some
amazing scholar announced the potent
fact that. If Paradise Lest were licked
out on a ticker ribbon 1t would make a
circu inference OF farm plenty large
enough for man OF any modesty. An
other and doubtless pious Christian CON-
puted for an ignorant world the data to
prove that IL ail the type required to set
up the bible were set up side by side in
a compact square it would more than cover
the area OF a city block. Inspiring. isn't
it? Now a statistician has learned that
tie annual aggregate circulation Of the
paners of the world is calculated To be
1000, 600, 900 copies. This, he figures,
would cover no fewer than 10, 450 square
7si ,250 tons af paper, and that IL all the
copies were printed consecutively instead
OF simultaneously, it would take over 353
years to DO the job, On top of each osher,
the pile would go beyond the highest Alp
to the magnificent altitude of 400 miles.
Calculating that the average man spends
five minutes a day on his paper, he finds
that the people of the world annually
spend the equivalent of 100000 years
on heir newspapers. Truly we are Il won
deSful world, aud the statistician is our
prophet.