The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-29
PRISCILLA'S PROPOSES

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London Truth: The Misses Priscilla
and Paulina Pastern were two very good
looking girls. The former was even
beautiful: the latter might be more prop
erly described as vivacious and pretty
Miss Paulina had a nose slightly tip
tilted, mouth made to laugh with.
roguish brown eyes. a dimpled chin, a
pink and white complexion, and the
most beautiful set of front teeth. Miss
type Her eyes were sweet, but
serious. Her mouth, beautifully shaped.
but rather adapted for the sentimental
than the humorous. Her chin was not
dimpled nor was her nose tip-tilted.
They We're the mouth and chin of a
Greek goddess-chiseled on the lines
which Phidias loved to embody in mar
BILE Nor was the Parian stone itself
clearer than Miss Priscilla's complexion.
But it had one drawback.
1t was small drawback. To seine it
Yet it made Miss Priscilla's existence a
misery and her daily life a burden. That
beautiful nose of hers-in spite of it's
HELLENIC shape and Phidiasque proper
lions, that nose which usually was white
and clear as the friezes of the Parthenon
was the subject, in certain conjunc-
tons, to spells of discoloration. At odd
times. on various occasions-and those
Interestingly inconvenient-the marble
hue of her nose would warm into a
rudy tinge; graduating in depth of
color adown the bridge, and shaded from
a palish pink above to hot and flaming
purple at the tip.
Now many people when they happen
not to be looking their best, when violent
exercise has made their complexion
sporty, or an ill-ventilated drawing room
has caused their eyes to appear dull and
boiled, often remain in ignorance of the
temporary Disagreement and their hap
pinesS and Self-aDDraisement are not
thereby impaired. But unfortunately for
Miss Pricilla's peace of mind. she could
never remain in ignorance. There were
always present internal sensations to
warn her of the external change. She
first felt a mild sensation of warmth, a
sort of tepid wave. begin to circulate
through her nasal veins. from warm. not;
from hot, boiling; until the blood felt to
seethe and bubble in her nose at a tenn
perature well above 212 degree Fahren-
heit. And the more she was conscious of
this distressing sensation the more dis
treSsing and violent did the sensation be-
come.
Miss Priscilla had sought medical adj
vice, but had sought in vain. A physi-
clan in Harley street, at guineas, had
afforded her no more relief than had
the family medical man at 5 shillings.
The one had assigned the affection TO in
each had prescribed a treatment in ac-
cordance with his view. Miss Priscilla
followed either set of regulations most
faithfully She abjured sugar, bonbons,
pastry. made dishes port wine. tea and a
hundred other favorite foods: she con-
sumed vast quantities of camomile. rheu-
barb, terebene. peppermint. sarsaparilla,
and lactopeptine. But with no advant-
age. She bought stays three sizes too
large for her, and even these she laced
so loosely that the slken cords at the
back. even at her fullest expansion, were
never taut. She wore a waistband into
which a moderate sized coal HEAVIER might
have inserted his fist. She even-for the
physician had limited that this might
gave up garters and adopted suspenders.
But to no purpose Her nose burned
as heretofore.
Then. finding no alienation from
doctors, she took to doctoring herself
with patent medicines Innumerable
well-advertised remedies became part
of her daily diet. Never did she perform
toilet without applying some highly
advertised lotion to her nose. But they
all failed. Whether compounded of
arsenic, sulphur. milk, glycerine. honey
or oatmeal. they all failed. Whether
costing half a guinea or modest six
pence, they all failed Miss Priscilla was
reduced to a condition verging on despair.
To aegravate her misery her own and
only sister-the being who. by all natural
laws should have felt for her the most
-evinced shocking want OF sympathy
with Miss Priscilla She would treat
Priscilla. S nose as huge joke 1t was
to her a perennial source of amusement
something handy to laugh about when
no other source of laughter presented
itself AS surely as they went out to-
Gether to a function, so surely did Pris-
ella say to her sister beforehand: Now,
Paulina. If my nose begins to burn, for
heavens sake don't emphasize the fact
BY staring at me-; and, so surely as
Priscilla's nose did begin TO burn, Pau
lima invariably cOntrived to catch her
eye, and then tapped the tip of her own
snub probosciS in expressive Dantomime.
On these occasions poor Priscilla felt on
the verge of insanity. To be conscious
OF looking horribly unhecOminS-and sure
the venus of Milo herself would look I'M
becoming with a red noSe-waS bad
enough. To have this consciousness ag-
gravated by the antics of an unfeeling
sister was almost intolerable. And many
ard many were the tears of rage that
Miss Priscilla shed over il. But neither
tears nor rage-lor. for the matter of
that entreaty or high diSGain-cOuld in
duce the vivacious Paulina to abate her
unsisterly conduct. The fact was, this
sprightly young lady's sense of humOr
was extremely keen, and Priscilla's nose
tickled il irreSiStibly.
- Nov without the least meaning to i'm
ply that the Misses Pastern were fishers
o. men, We must assert the simple his
torical fact that they entertained a ma
tu-2l and lauddbie desire to secure. each
for herself, an eligible husband. 1t was
in this matter especially that Priscilla's
nose caused her the deepest chagrin- For
never QlQ she 0nQ lerSaf IN the COM
Dany of Il gentleman whose interest and
admiration she particularly wished to
excite but her nasal veins invariably
started to throb and burn; and doubtless
painful anxiousness to obviate this
catastrophe. Viewed from a logical
standpoint and regard being taken to
the proper requisites of a good wife, the
little affair of noses color might rea-
sonably be treated as immaterial. But
reason and courtship have no inalienable
affinity. and the eligible parti has yet to
be discovered who will propose to girl
while her nose Is burning merry purple
before his eyes.
That this assertion is not made with
out the book Miss Priscilla's experiences
Sbundan mt prove. d save for the one
that discoloration only temporary. fitful.
intermittent-this charming girl had
every quality of face, form and manner
that is most attractive to the opposite
sex. Expressive eyes. a sweet mouth. a
well-shaped head and neck. silky chest
nut hair, divine figure (when she found
out that loose stays gave her no relief
she soon discarded them). an irreproach-
able foot and ankle. Her voice was soft
and musical. She had delightful COO
ing laugh. She was modest. but not too
modest: sympathetic, but not too sym
pathetic; innocent. but not too innocent.
In fact, mans girl TO the very tips of
her filbert nails.
And was all this to be for nothing just
because of one trifiing disorder? Was
this whole galaxy of grace and beauty TO
be utterly outweighed. in the scales by
the trifiipg counterpoise of few sur
charged blood vessels? Alas. it seemed
so. And it seemed as if poor Miss Pris-
ella must make up her mind to the in
evitable For a week or two she did
make up her mind to it. She let it be
known among her friends that tabby
cat and a gray parrot would be the most
acceptable presents they could make her
on her approaching birthday. She left of