davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21
BRIGHT BITS.

lis he a self-made man?"
Not exactly. He usually makes an ass
of self"-Detrolt Tribune.
Base ball players who so out on strikes
are not to be classed among the idle
Dallas News.
Friend-"Is George with his father
now?' Mother-"No. The hours were
100 long for George" Friend-"Injured
his health, perhaps? ?" Aother-"No: but
they prevented HIM from attending 5
O'Clock teas. Puck.
Most extraordinary man"
In what way?'
Il think he's the only man in the coun-
try who has a manufacturing plant of
any description and hasn't begun to make
bicycles. Chicago Post.
1t was pretty little love scene-the
picture they were looking at, and the IT,
tie was 1.-THE old old story"
What is the old story?' she asked art
"Oh, reckon it is something about get
ting robbed by the umpire or something
Of the sort" he nswered.-Cleveland
World.
why don't you go to work." she
asked.
Madam" replied Meandering Mike,
i m w1itin' me turn. In the crowded
condition which prevails in every place
81 industry in this here congested civil
lzation er man hez gotter do some hang
m aroun' waitin fur a vacancy which
fits his tastes an capabilities"
What are you waiting for?'
Il hear these millionaires talkin' in the
newspapers bout the terrible responsible
tiles Of wealth an the d.sappointments
thet cluster around whut the world calls
success. I'm waItln fur one of 'em ter
git tired O. the trouble of countin' is
money.-Washington Star.
Has it ever occurred to YOU" asked
Brooks, that there must be a scientific
reason why Chinaman can't raise whisk-
ers on his chin?"
Il confess ! have never struggled with
the problem answered Rivers. rs it d
fact?"
1T is"
Then it may be that his ancestors for
ages have pulled out their chin whiskers. "
Try again"
Because his wife won't let him"
That isn't the answer, either"
Because he never shaVes there"
You're still away Off"
well, l give iteup.f
IT'S because Whiskers grow on the
cheek, and not on the chin. Look in your
dictionary, you lunkhead." Chicago Tri-
bune.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21
Personal.

1t is definitely stated that Lord Duff
FERN. the British ambassador 20 France.
VII retire from diplomatic life about the
middle Of July.
N. Renter has bequeathed 10000 TO
the Belgian government for the founda-
ZION o. medical institute 10 be called
the institute R0mmelaere-
Prince ChiIkove. Russian minister OF
ways and commuulca lions. viii visit the
United States IN August. The prince will
inspect the Siberian railroad and viii
cisco.
One OF The most successful mining men
Of Colorado is said TO be Count James
Portales, a member Of a famous old Ger
man noble family, who has been in the
west about twelve years. He is skilled
metalurgist-
Mrs. Eugene Daniels Of Canaan. y. H.
has a tame crow that is a curiosity It
is about is months Old II talks and seems
10 understand what is said TO 10 and goes
10 church every Sunday and waits out
SIDE until The services are through
Spanish papers announce the marriage
Of the eldest daughter of Gen. Martinez
IN CuDa, ana the Marquis of Cayo del Roy.
Gen. CampOs IS now in Germany with his
second daughter, who is extremely iu.
Russell Sage is very fond OF driving.
and has scarcely missed a daily ride in
central Park in thirty years, except when
ne was absent from the city. He generally
drives two horses. but is trying a team
OF four which VIII trot evenly together.
1t is announced that the two elder sons
Of the German emperor are to go to school
at Plon, in HOlstein, partly as a compli-
ment to the people of Holland. and partly
because there is a convenient lake in the
grounds. The emperor sets great store
upon their being taught to row.
M. Berthelot the late French foreign
minister, is. it appears. shaky in his his
tory. Being accused Of having displaced
the portrait of Richel.eu in his study
he replied that il was not true, and that
ne could not but regard with pleasure
the face of the great man who had given
Alsace to France. Then there was laugh
ter in Paris. because the treaty of West
phalia, which gave Alsace to France
was signed in 1913 and Richelieu died in
1912
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

The announcement that Senator Quay is
going 10 Canton. o.. 10 see Gov. McKin-
ley is the occasion OF a great deal Of po-
litical gossip. He refused 10 say 10 abe
Washington correspondent Of the Morn
ing News what the purpose Of his visit
was. lie had a long conference with
AIr. Platt. the republican boss OF New
York. a day or two ago. and there are
rumors that their relations are not as
cordial as they were.
The impression is that Mr. Quay has
decided 10 come 10 some understanding
with Gov. Mckinley, believing that il is
folly to continue TO oppose him now THAI
his nomination appears 10 be certain. On
the other hand. Mr.. Plat insists upon
keeping uD the fight against him on The
ground that something may occur be-
tween now and the meeting Of the conven-
tion which viii offer a chance to defeat
him.
No doubt much Of the agitation that IS
intended 20 create the impression tla,
Gov. Mckinley is more of silverite than
a sound money man is due to the efforts
OF Mr. Platt. who believes that if he can
make the business men Of the republican
party think that Gov. Mckinley is a trim
mer on the silver question his nomina-
tion can be prevented. Mr. Platt is one
of the sort of men who never give tb
while there is a chance Of carrying their
point.
Why Senator Quay should 90 to Canton
to see Gov. Mckinley is a question that
is puzzling the republican politicians. Mr..
quay stIl regards himself as a presideu-
tial candidate. though he has no support
outside Of his own state. 1t may be that
he wants the nomination for Vice Pres
dent. and intends to come to an under
standing with Gov. Mckinley whereby he
can get it. If that is his purpose in
visiting Canton he viii probably be dis
appointed. Gov. Mckinley would hardly
consent for him to have the second place
on the ticket. There are certain things
in his public record that could be used
against him with telling effect, and doubt
less would be used if he should be nomi-
mated for the vice presidency.
The man the Mckinleyites would like
to have nominated for Vice President is
Speaker Reed. He would add strength to
the ticket. Mr.. Reed. however, is no;
a candidate for the position. If he can
not have the first place he viii not have
any.
Gov. Mckinley now feels so certain OF
the nomination that it is not at all likely
he would enter into any agreement with
Mr. Quay or anybody else in respect to
any matter. He was ready to make bar,
gains while his nomination was in doubt.
but there does not seem to be any reason
now why he should make any concessions
to any of the party bosses.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21
a Funny Wartime Feud.

Jack Schuyler IS dead
Thus ends one Of the funniest feuls /
have ever heard OF. says the New YORK
Herald
On my way into the lumber region OF
pennsylvania some wears ago l encouu-
tered Col Tom Pickert. who asked my
destination The colonel is one Of the big
men physically, socially and financially
OF POtrsville.
You'll make Lock Haven your head
quarters, / suppose" he said. when 1 had
told MIN OF my projected trip well, go
70 t1e alion house, kept by Jack Schuy-
liar IN one respect-he's IA worst liar I
ever met Just register from POttsville
and he'll do the rest
l urged the colonel to tell me more OF
this prospective host
" en-, you see, We belonged TO the same
cavalry regiment In the army. Looked
IKE each other a little. the boys used 10
say re was a major and / was lieuten-
dAl-cOlOnel- never led charge. or
hdd a brush with the enemy. or cOndu IT.
81 Iofasing party, or, or-in fact, never
utu any tang worth mentioning but Jack
CANNED the credit, and, on the strength
OF our reSem Dlance, more than half the
IlHe got H. Whenever he made a blunder
was blamed for IL. Good fellow, don't
you know. but Ear"
As l placed my grip on the counter at
lhe aAOn house i noticed that there
Ieally was a striking resemblance in the
man VINO presided over the register 10 Col
rom Flckert. Their noses were molc-
ca Oh tne same heroic lines. their boards
were SNAPPED alike and Of the same length
anu color, and the shaggy, overhangine
EYEBROWS were marked features in eacn.
IN detail and ensemble they might have
Deen taken for brothers.
asif Iron m Pottsvillee, eh?' he said as laid
ASIDE the pen. Know Tom Pickert2
queer fellow. amt he? Worst liar in
the state, / believe"
very well of him"
ne may be changed now" said tho
MAJOR 1 hope he is. Why. we were in
lhe army together, belonged to the same
regiment. He was Lieutenant colonel and
was major. Whenever took out parry
on scout duty, or TO conduct an ammuni-
ion Tram through a particularly danger
Gus district, or was particularly lucky In
loIdsllS, the officers of other regiments
Were always invited over to hear Tom,
lell now ne did it, Took an the credit
ana made believe it was himself I was
planned FOR all his mistakes. We looked a
niue aHke then, they used to say. Toms
soou Fellow, but he often made me mad
ny ms lies. DO YOU ever drink anytbfnr?''
subsequently L discovered that al reg
mental and other reunions each took de-
Aghl IN collecting a cOterie and POINTING
out tLe other as a liar Then they toasted
each otner, and, like big-hearted old vetar-
ans Shook hands, to the astonishment Of
an. IL was Tom" and Jack" always
is ended 'N'. t4~ ASt'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21
TiIImnn as He Is.

The Atlanta Journal, commenting on
Senator Tllman's speech delivered in that
city on Monday night. said: HE declared
last night that he would quit the party un-
less it's platform is on this line. and ask
ed all those who would go out with him to
hold up their hands. A great number did
so. quite enough 10 indicate that the sill
ver.tes of Atlanta as a rule are on the Till
man line. They must have been proud of
their leader last night. especially when he
said that if the effort to carry the derlo-
cratic convention failed and the attempt to
elect an Independent free silver ticket also
proved unsuccessful it would be time to be-
gin throat-cuttlng and the disruption of
the government"
1t was reported recently that Tom Wat
son said that populists would be ashamed
to acknowledge Senator Tillman as a mem
Der Of their party. We are not at all sur
prlsed that Mr.. Watson should have made
such remark. a man who says that
when those he represents cannot have
their way it will be time to begin throat
cutting and the disruption Of the govern
ment ought not to find a welcome in any
political party.
1t may be that Senator Tnlman does not
realize the harm he is doing, or perhaps
he doesn't care. In either case he is a dan
gerous man. who ought to be avoided by
good citizens who love the country and its
institutions.
His announcement that he will bolt the
Chicago convention if he cannot dictate
the national democratic platform ought to
be sufficient TO keep him out of the con-
vention. If he doesn't intend to submit to
the win of the majority, if the majority
should be against him. he ought not to be
allowed a seat in the convention.
There is one gratifying thing in connec-
ton with Mr.. Tillman. 1t is that his in
nuence does not extend outside of South
Carolina, and it is quite safe to predict
that the time is not distant when he will
cease to have influence in that state. No
man who seeks to become prominent and
influential by playing on the passions and
prejudices of the people is likely to have
more than temporary success. With the re-
turn of business prosperity he viii disap-
| pear practically from the public view. He
| is one of that sort of men who thrive only
when the times are bad.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

II was announced a day or two ago that
1lr. Crisp was in Georgia again looking
after his senatorial interests. but that he
would not make any speeches. The I'M
Outstanding from this is that from this
time on he viii conduct a .stiu hunt
campaign.
He IS certainly wise in changing his tao
ties AS a quiet political worker he has
few equals. He makes friends easily. He
has "A way OF shaking a mans hand and
patting him on the back that is very eff
fective. Ia fact. lir. Crisp has a good
deal Of magnetism. Those who come IN
contact with him ike him. They can't
very well help IL. lie gives a man whose
support he wants the impression that ne
is his friend. and is ready to go to any
amount of trouble 10 do him a favor.
Therefore. Mr. Crisp win do himself more
good by going from one county to an
other making himself agreeable to the
local party leaders than he could possibly
have done by continuing the joint debate
with Dir. Smith. or engaging in debate with
AIR. duBignon.
But in adopting the ''stiH hunt method
Mr.. Crisp has overlooked the fact that
the people are not going to be influenced
in this campaign by personal considera-
tions so much as they have in campaigns
in other years. They are deeply interested
in the money question. They realize that
the time has come to settle that question
There are tens Of thousands Of voters In
the state who have not yet made up
their minds on the silver question. They
are waiting for further light on it. That
they are disappointed in Mr.. Crisp can
hardly be denied. Some doubt that he IS
well informed in respect to the silver is
sue. Notwithstanding his long experience
in congress. Others are inclined to think
that he is a sound money man at heart,
and advocates silver only because lac
thinks the silverites viii have a majority
in the next legislature.
We are not prepared TO say whether
these speculations do Mr. Crisp injustice
or not. We do not pretend to speak for
him. 1t IS certain, however, that he did
not make good impression in his debate
with Mr.. Smith, and we are inclined to
think that If his health permitted, he
would make mistake by engaging in a
joint discussion with Mr.. duBignon.
The fact is, Mr. duBgnon is making
profound impression. He talks to the peo-
pie in way that convinces them. They
see he is in earnest-that he believes what
he says-and that his belief rests upon
facts and sound arguments.
If Mr.. Crisp could talk for a degraded
currency as Mr.. duBignon talks for hon
est money, it would be better for him to
take the stump, but, assuming from his
experience with Mr. Smith. that he can
not, he is wise in adopting "stiu hunt"
tactics.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

The public must have read with surprise
and even amazement in the dispatches
yesterday the story of the attempt of a
great railroad corporation to swindle the
postofiice department by packing the
mails with bogus mail matter. 1t is a
saying that there is nothing new under
the sun, but this effort of the railroad
to get a much greater sum of money
for carrying the mails than the law allows
is something new in the way of swim
ding.
We are not prepared to say that the
newspapers which were distributed in
such enormous quantities by the railroad
during the time the reweighing of the
mails was in progress had any know
ledge Of the purpose of the railroad, but
if they sent thousands of copies into To-
calities in which they have no circulation
for the purpose of deceiving advertisers.
they placed themselves upon about the
plane occupied by the railroads.
There are many who, having read the
story of the effort of a great railroad to
cheat the government on a mail carrying
contract and of newspapers to create
the impression that they suddenly had a
large increase in their circulations, will
ask, what are we coming to? 1t is
pltiful to find such agencies engaged in
immoral acts.
With a railroad corporation controlled
by reputable men, and newspapers that
are supposed to be opponents Of public
morality engaged in such a transaction
as that made public by the Postmaster
General is it any wonder that we hear the
assertion that the country is becoming
demoraltzed?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

why do not the silverites of Atlanta
bring Congressman Crisp down TO talk un-
limited coinage to the democrats Of that
and admire Mr. Crisp for his services to the
party; but they do not respect or admire
Tillman of South Carolina, and they do
not know anything about Babe" Bailey
of Texas, except that he travels on his
shape" Mr.. Crisp has never advised a
bolt from the democratic national conven-
ton in the event that the convention de-
clines to adopt the 16 to L idea; he will not
advise any such thing. The idea Of the At
lanta siiverite bosses, however. seems to
oe to educate their followers up to the
point Of boiling if they can't get what they
think they want.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and is served to
subscribers in the city. or sent By mail
AT 81 Loo a month, 500 Tor six months, and
5000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mail. six
times a week without sunday issue).
three months. $20os six months. $500; one
year. $50.
The WEEKLY NEWS. issues a week
Monday and Thursday, by mail, one
year. S10o.
Subscriptions payable in advance Re
init by postal order. check or registered
letter Currency sent BY mail at risk OF
sendcrs.
Transient Advertisements. other than
special column. local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column,
70 cents a line. Fourteen lines OF agate
type-equal 10 one inch square in depth
is the standard OF measurement. Contract
rates and discounts made known on apph-
cation at business office.
Orders for delivery Of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place Of
business may he made by postal card or
through telephone No. 30. Any irregu-
larity in delivery should be Immediately
reported TO the office Of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ca
EASTERN OFFICE. o Park Row. New
York City. c. S. Faulkner. Manager
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21
Alabama StiII Sovereign state.
From the Baltimore Sun Dem.l.

The Senate yesterday, with only six dis
senting votes, refused TO consider Mr.
Chambers resolution providing for an in
Vestigation of elections IN Alabama Sen
ator Sherman practically admitted that
such an investigation was not properly
within the jurisdiction of the Senate This
gave great offense to Mr.. Allen, the Ne
braska pOpulist but that, of course was
to be expected Mr.. Allen is a shining light
in a party which believes in all sorts of
absurd notions, and no doubt he thinks it
would be the proper thing for the United
ton of members of the Alabama legisla-
ture, as well as that of the governor and
other state officers. The republican party
has more than once manifested a DISPOSE
ton 10 interfere without warrant in az
fairs which are purely within the preros-
alive of the state but il is not yet pre-
pared to follow the lead of Mr.. Allen and
decide that the legislatures of the several
states are not elected as certified by the
state authorities,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

In his recent speech in Chicago Gov.
Altgeld declared that "bimetallism" was
the first issue" and that the ratio might
be settled afterwards. That is an Indirect
admission by the leading silverite Of nli-
nois that he does not know what the value
of a silver dollar would be under unlimit-
ed silver coinage. Some of the silver adj
vocates affect to believe that free coinage
would raise the value of silver until six
teen pounds of silver would be worth as
much as one pound of gold Gov. Altgeld
evidently does not believe any such thing.
If he had believed it, and had any ground
for the belief, it is morally certain that
he would have given his reasons and de-
clared his adherence to the 16 to / ratio
and no other.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

1t would seem that President Kruger is
not such lenient old Boer after all The
newspapers have been expressing the be-
lief that he would make the sentences of
Hammond and the other leaders of the Jo-
hannesburg reform committee somewhat
light imposing a considerable money pen
atty and making the term of their impris-
onment short. Yesterdays dispatches say
the men have been sentenced to fifteen
years in prison, which. to men like Ham
mond, Rhodes and others, is almost equiv
alent to a life sentence The incident is
not closed, however. 1t may be depended
upon that the British government will
bring pressure to bear that will have the
effect of greatly reducing the sentences.
It is to the credit of the queens govern
ment that it never abandons one of its sub
jeets in an emergency.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

When Lawyer Smith threw his old boot
at miaou in the dead waste and middle
OF the night and brought a burglar tlm-
ping down fifty feet into a nile Of st,
PeIIluous coal-oll cans, the effect on Mrs
Brown boarding house was unexpected
says the san Francisco Examiner II ali
happened little before . O'Clock ON SIM
qay morning at the boarding house Of
Mrs. VI. %. Brown, 1924 Pine street. VIII
iain o5nborn was the burglar who was
Letcned or his perch by f. d. Smiths
ueddly boot He had Crawled alOny a
SASS fooI IN the rear of Mrs. Brown S
mouse 70 reach one OF the windows. smith
neard nun crawling on the roof, and at
once concluded that the thing was one
OF lhe unnecessary cats that have been
serenading him with perseverance and
reglgIafiiy. lie threw up his window.
''M-i-a-o-ur' said the burglar to en-
courage Smith in his belief.
NoW, smith knew he was loaded for
catS. re had been storing an old boot
under ms bed for just such occasion With
one mighty SWING, away went the boot
Ihen came the rattle the bumpity- bump
bunp ana the final crash among the coal
OIL cans fifty feet below.
GOOD Lord what an extraordinary cat!'
egacuIated smith. In an instant the cor
rldors OF the boarding house were filled
with women. Was it an earthquake or the
crack of doom? Smith was blowing his
ponce whistle with industry and promot-
ing the disturbance. Some of the ladies'
tainted. Smith kept on blowing Never
a boot before in this wide world had pro-
duced such variety of unexpected
noises.
The noise made by the fail was sufi-
Gent to awaken all the geusts IN Mrs.
Browns house. The men got out their
pistols, and, headed by Smith, who had
got through blowing his whistle. they
marched to the back yard to find out
what the boot had brought down
With the aid of a lantern they found
the burglar lying among the cans
you've got a hard face, said Smith
That's right; kick a fellow when he's
down." returned Sanborn.
Sanborn was taken to the receiving hos
pital to have his wounds dressed. His
face and neck were badly cut, his right
leg was broken, and his left wrist frac-
tured. The doctors say that the man had
miraculous escape from death, and mar
vel that he WAS not killed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-21

According to a Chicago exchange. a gen
tleman in Ohio of the name of Edwards
has launched himself upon a great and
ciety called the IS. S. S. S." the benef-
cent object of which is TO secure the re-
pudiation of all public debts. This so
ciety should especially commend itself to
those gentlemen who desire to repudiate
one half of private and public debts by
taking away from the President and Sec
rotary Of the Treasury the power to main
tain gold payments, thus forcing the
country to a silver basis.