Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-09-10
If could crafty n wish.
My wealth would be untold.
The bags my trousers all possess
I'd have filed up with gold.


I'd have filled up with gold. 3
First Clerk--She's, a married LADY.
Second Clerk-How do you.know? 'Sns
ordered two hammocks."--Life.
Mrs. Qulverful (sternly)-What was
going on In the parlor last night? Etnei
(blushing) -Only my engagement ring
mamma.-Life. ISL --,ley.
Cynthia docking at photograph)-Hi-
ram, just turn your head a little. HI
ram-You have turned II already, Gym
thia.-Ncw York World.
He-It's reported around that we are
engaged. She-Well, you know it's n
mistake. He-Yes; ] called to see IL !
couldn't rectify lt.-Puck. "a f5.m
Arthur-Are you sure she loves you?
Jack-Yes. When told her ! had no
money to marry on she asked me IL
couldn't borrow some1-Puck. ,is,
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben. "er
man puts on er long face an says he's
discouraged when he's simply too lazy
ter try again."-Washipgton Star. ~
She-Everybody says you married
me only for my money. He-But
didn't, dear know you look It, dear.
but didn't.-Indianapolis Journal,
Her Father-Has my daughter given
you any encouragement, sir? Sultor-
Well, she said you were always very
generous Observation-Disclosures Ameri-
can. 49,, wa
Mame-I hope you didn't let tina.
Mr.. Higgins put his arm about you?
Mabel--Why? Is there anything the
matter with his arm ?-Washington
Star.
Mrs. Elmore--I wonder how many
stops that new organ Of De Smyth's
has got? Elmore-Only three. should
Judge. One for each meai.--Buffalo
Times. I f,8eu 4i.,l5
81 see they are applying ball bearings
to n great many things now" YES;
they have ball bearing sign down
where l keep my watch. Washington
Times.
Stern Parent-You say he is genius.
Geniuses seldom amount to much.
Daughter-But, pa, he promises that he
will not work at 1t arrer we are mar
ried.-Boston Transcript.
Hoax-Poor Bjones has to run all the
errands and cook his own meals. Joax
What's the trouble? Hoax-He was
foolish enough to buy his wife a BIZ
cycle.-Philadelphia Record.
When in the brassy skies above
No hope nor help see,
I gladly seek the girl l love
She's always cool to me.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Spirit (at Lily Dale seance)-Don't
you know me? I'm the spirit of your
mother-n-law. Investigator-You can't
fool me. My mother-in-law always
brought her trunk with her.-Buffalo
Times.
"I suppose you know all about the
| financial question:" said the intimate
friend. ~ don't say that know all
about It," replied the candidate, "but
know enough not to talk about it,
Washington Star.
Miss Chilledame-Don't you know
that nature rebels against laziness? A
man can get nothing in this world with
out labor. Wrestling Offen-Humph!
Can't he? He can git hungry, guess.
-Harper's Bazaar. eN
Peasant spoke to our herb doctor
and he advised me that should
Doctor Gnterrupting)-Oh. he gave you
some idiotic advice, l don't doubt.
Peasant-He advised me to see you.--
Humoristische Blaetter.
"Has your wife learned to ride q
wheel?" "Nup; but she has been TAX
ing cooking lessons, and about every
morning she goes into the kitchen and
has scorching COMPETITION with the
cook. "-Indianapolis Journal. ~
isn't 1t too bad about Charlie
Newed? understand that since his
marriage he and his wife have been
living from hand to mouth" "Oh, ]
guess they're all right. It's her faith
ers hand, you know."-New York
Press.
Nell-Miss Bjones uses French
phrases in the most peculiar manner.
Belle-Does she? Nell-Yes, indeed!
Why. at breakfast yesterday I asked
her how she liked her eggs, and she
said they were very chick.-Philadel-
phia Record.
"Have you got 1t on you yet?" asked
little Petey Of his sisters bestest best.
"W-w-whatT inquired the three
night week beau. why, a move.
Sister said the other night she wished
you'd hurry up and get move on YOU"
Philadelphia North American.
II say, captain" said a young Eng
lishman on board an American clipper.
that flag Of yours has not foafed i'm
every breeze and over every sea for a
thousand years. has it?..- r"Np. 1t amt"
replied the captain, ssbut ithas licked
one that has."-Youth's Companion.
Henderson, consider 1t COED rule.
and it's one have tried to follow, to
say bright things only once In while;
In that way my good things are remem-
bered. II was all the time getting
off bright things they wouldn't be mo-
ticed. Fogg-A very good rule; but,
Fendy, don't you think you observe Il
too closely ?-Boston Transcript.
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