Evening star., 1896-11-07
CIGARETTE FlEND'S DEFENSE

''No." said the man with the firm Jaw. IN
one OF the rear seats of the smoking car,
Il am not going to stop smoking cigarettes.
WHAT'S more. I'm going to have q large
green and yellow sign painted to that ef-
fect, and prominently display 1t on my
carcass at all hours of the day and night
am not going to stop smoking cigar
cites. am n-e-v-er going to stop smok-
ing cigarettes. I am going to go right on
smoking 'em until I am dead and buried,
and I'll continue to smoke 'em afterward.
II have show. Know they hurt me?
Certainly know they hurt mel want to
be hurt. banker to be hurt. I've been
smoking 'em for twenty years, and they've
been going right on hurting me every day.
DO you observe this short, sharp cough
OF mine? Well, it's a cigarette cough. I
nave 1t all the time. 1t is growing on me-
HaIte u Keeps me awake at night. Look pale?
you suppose l can see that I am yellow
without being told of 1t? 1 suppose the
cathode rays would show about four
pounds OF concentrated cigarette nicotine
scattered about my system. But, say, you
vent happen to ever forget, will you, that
II Is my system and my nicotine, my pal
lor' my yellowness. and my cough, and
mat 1 make 1t point only to burn cigar
ettes paid for out of money that I earn
Tyself? No? Thanksl Your preliminary
remarks as to my smoking cigarettes led
me to think otherwise. Now, as to that
other question of yours: Why don't I ston
smoking cigarettes?
Because don't purpose being bulldozed
II can help 1t, that's why. / suppose that
on the average, l have had the same uues-
tion put to me at least ten times day for
the past ten years, and l have declined to
answer 1t just that many times for the
same number of years. The honor Is yours
OF causing me to break the rule for the
nrst time Quite aside, then, from the fact
tnat smoke cigarettes because I love to
smoke cigarettes, because I iust fairly revaI
IN smoking cigarettes, because l extract
the most delirious kind of delight from the
smoking or cigarettes 1 smoke cigarettes,
and Shall never cease smoking cigarettes
because, with the addiction to cigarettes,
nave also become addicted to the idea
tnat 1t Is my own confounded, blithering.
Dlurdy-crunched business as to whether i
M XII myseif on In my own way. Immediate
~, at tne present fieeting instant of time
OF "hether L protract she Job perenniaIIy
through unnumbered days.
am martyr to this idea. / should
nave quit smoking 'em ten years ago if
keopie Hke you had attended to their own
gugglyswinked affairs But they wouldnt
Iney all wanted to hector and bullyrag me
into IT, 1t didn't work. 1t didn't go. 1t
nash @ worked or gone down to the present
liiiiiteSinnal part of a second and IL never
VIII. IKE to hear these people emit vocal
noises. like to hear 'em lisp to hear their
neauS roar. But I'll be mud-hammed If
m gong to let them think they can stam-
Iede me into a panic and wipe me off the
lace or the map every time they exude
much!
Cigarettes disagreeable to other people?
VI course they are. That's one of the chief
reasons why l smoke them. Strong men
VINO are not used to them turn faint when
they smell them. They have an outrageous
smell So has patchouly. So has musk.
80 has deceased dog. Now, you for in
stance. have been drinking cheap whisky.
II there Is anything on this dun-colored
1ootstool that smells more abomina BILE
than
enth street," said the conductor. and
The Star man was compelled to get Off the
car without waiting to See whether 1t de-
Veloped into a scrap