The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-01-30
IN A JUSTICE COURT.
his HONOR" DELIVERS AN OPINION
IN IMPRESSIVE STYLE.

Urine Whenevef " ShoNstts ely 'FRONT.'. /
Life Inns been lamcntable failure 10 the |
man who has not provided around the pre-.
,inct judicial pristmill ON grinding days |
aud seen iniquiiy "stompcd on" aud jus |
tice crowned queen of the May.
But II you would see the Justice court IN
ils wild, "unpesteredn state 10 into the |
junclcs Of east Texas, where IL ronms Mt
will and eubsists ON funny young men
who get nccused Of disturbing peace
which in all likelihood never existed. In
such places the Justice of the peace gcner-
ally runs his office in connection with
mll stock of family groceries, aud the
sessions Of the court are held in the rear
end of the mercantile cstn blishment,w where
the presiding genius can keep his eye on
the front door, so that he may not miss n
cash sale IL opportunity offers. And the
opportunity sometimes presents itself ON
such occasions, and "his honor" asks the
lawyers md the Jury TO excuse him while
he increases the gross receipts of the cash
drawer. II also happens sometimes that
the j. l.. espies some one in the courtroom
who Is in arrears for supplies, and lays
paperweight On legal proceedings while
he attempts to induce the delinquent to
square the account. This sometimes re
suits in bad blood between debtor and
creditor, angry words, aXhandles and bar
rel slaves and the ground torn up, in which
"his honor" sometimes comes out of the
conflict on all fours with head on him
like hippopotamus. Then mn adjourn
ment il in order. and the rest Of the docket
is carried over TO the next term of court.
attended the sitting of ono Of these
courts once and saw it hatch out small
brood of unvarnished justice. A young
man had disturbed the peace and trhed
with the dignity of the state in the one
and the same transaction, and justice
whetted its hayknife and howled for re
venge. "The court" had drawn up the
Indictment at the instance of nervous
gentleman, who claimed that subdivi-
sion of the peace located in his immediate
vicinity had been disturbed by the young
man hereinbefore referred to. In draw
ing up the indictment CHS honor" had
detected somewhat from Hoyle and or
biography and spelled peace piece.
When court was opened, counsel for defen-
dant attempted to quash the complaint on
the ground of its literary and legal imper-
lection and made quite an exhaustive ar
gument to that end. After counsel had
closed his argument" the court" sustained
the indictment in substantially the fol-
lowing language:
"While admitting that in the drafting
Of the indictment an embarrassing degree
of unfamiliarity with the standard au-
! thorities on diction is evident from the
spelling of the word peace, at the same
time it is the opinion of the court that
this inaccuracy does not vitiate the indict-
ment, for we cannot enter upon the dan
gerous precedent Of predicating the ad-
ministration of justice upon certain de
gree of familiarity with the textbooks.
"Justice was full grown and had corns
on her toes before knowledge had ceased
to wrestle with the collie She stood guar
dian over the liberties of man while knowl-
| edge was in the kindergarten and small
| clothes, and now to make her subservient
to this precocious young 'un were like the
head paying homage TO the tail. Ifcoun-
| sci will bear with the court, we will state
| that we are here to administer n job lot of
rectangular Justice and not for the pur-
pose of discussing the literary merit of
the complaint wherein superfluity Of
~ seems to have obtained and in which
the drought appears to have struck the "a
crop.
admitting that, when scrutinized by
the scholarly eye, peace conveys to the
mind different meaning to that of piece
it has no age over it when conveyed to
the Understanding phohcbituiiys iichSo,
should witness on the stand testify to
the fact that the defendant had disturbed
the peace, the import of the word would
be determined by the sense in which it
was employed, and the same process of
reasoning would obtain as applied to the
written instrument.
Wherefore the court holds that the
complaint, while n little wobbly in its legs
as regards literary makeup, is abundantly
sufficient for all practical purposes, and
this is not Il court in which abstract
theory will ever be invited to seat up
next to the stove and practical demonstra-
ton allowed to gnaw file in the back
hall. We take it for granted that justice
would get along as well and sleep as
soundly should u conviction be secured for
disturbing the piece as though the same
verdict had been obtained for disturbing
the peace The fine would be no harder
to pay for the person so convicted, therd,
tured peace would recover its normal idI.
ton as early, and the revenue accrg'A1
the county by reason of the fine &C., -
would build as many bridge, Co.,
houses or jails. The chief end and ni:n
the justice court is to put the kerbOsh
crime wherever it shows its ugly ircni
and not to attempt to compete in ortho
graphical finish with the bill of fare Mt
first rate restaurant in drawing up bills
of indictment. Scholarly attainment il
all well and good, but the crucial moment
sometimes arrives when justice presses
her lily white hands to her stomach and
yearns to be satisfied.
"We do not desire to be understood as
favoring the conviction of a party for one
offense when charged with another. For
bid that we should desire man hung
when he should only have the seat of his
pants kicked into tatters and his plug Of
tobacco taken away from him. Neither
do we favor the release of party when it
is evident that he is guilty simply because
the indictment whereby he is brought be-
fore the courts would fail to provoke ap-
plause from literary society. SO, with a
supreme desire to do the square thing be-
tween legal form on the one hand and
box toed justice on the other, the court
will be forced TO sustain the sufficiency OF
the indictment and leave the rest to the
jury and its God"
Then the trial was entered into, and aft
er the evidence was taken and pyro-
technic display of oratory ton ed off by
the counsel on either side of y case, the
jury found the defendant gull. ! and fined
him S. and trimmings for disturbing the
"piece. "-Galveston News.
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