The Universalist. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1884-1897, 1896-11-14
PARENTAL ENDURANCE

If the following, from the New York
| evening Post, seems somewhat cynical,
still there is enough truth in it to make
parents stop and think whether it is
they who are training the child, or the
child who is training them:
Nobody who has given any attention to
the relation of parent and child can
doubt that patient and accomplishing
endurance is the distinguishing modern
parental trait. From the cradle and the
perambulator on, what is the modern pa
rent trained in if not endurance? In
what else does he find true parental
happiness?
In the earlier days of the century it
was not so. Down to perhaps 1850 there
fingered on the Old world view of the
child. partly Roman. partly Saxon, partly
Biblical, Of which perhaps the best mod
ern exposition was the excellent author
of Parents Assistant" The very title
of the book throws a strong light on the
history of the matter. The stories con-
tanned in it are all meant to inculcate
the old view-that politeness. like all
other good traits, was the result Of DELHI
crate training; that with reference to
manners the child should be made con-
siderate of its elders. 1t should, for in
stance, if noisy, be rebuked. and, if ne
cessary, punished. The same theory
was kept in view with reference to pc
likeness of speech and address. Grad
ually, in accordance with what was be-
lieved to be the law of habit with refer
ence to human beings. and is still be-
lieved to be such with reference to
dogs and horses, the new associations
grew so strength at the child wac pc
lite of it's own accord.
The existing theory is exactly the OPP
posite of this. 1t is that the child is
born into the world with good instincts,
tends naturally to become respectful,
thoughtful and polite, and will become
so if the parents are very patient and
considerable, and occasionally remind it
of the rules which Solomon would have
enforced with the rod and Miss Edge
worth with penalties of greater ingenu
ity and refinement.
1t may be that this theory marks a
great stride of human progress. Per-
haps children are naturally good; per-
haps the old theory that they could be
trained to proper behavior only by an
artificial association of the opposite with
consequences not agreeable to any child,
was wholly wrong. But, even SO. the
practice of the new system evidently
| calls for vastly different endurance on
the parents part. In fact, it may be
| said that the function of the modern
child is to teach it's parents to endure.
To send child away from table for not
saying Thank you" and please; to
| put it in a closet because it will seat it
self on it's grandfather's chair just when
the old gentleman wants to make him
self comfortable in it. is comparatively
simple matter. Any parent can bring
up children by such means, and all par
righteous satisfaction. 1t was not pleas.
ant to hear the child roar, but still it was
for the child's good, But to tell child
fifty times day that it is not polite not
to say please" and THANK YOU" and
to go no further; to tell it to keep out of
the best chairs in the room when they
are wanted by older people. only to find
the rule invariably disobeyed; to tell it
every day to snake less noise" and yet
to hear the din incr ease-to do all this
for long years patiently and without
complaint, and often without any visible
improvement, either. on the childs part
all this calls for and, we may add, pro-
duces an endurance such as the elder
parental world never dreamed Of. 1t is
a notorious fact that the present gener-
alton of parents, far from being irascibly
irritated by children's noise and bad
manners, suffer it gladly and with in
creaslng competence. There is not
hotel piazza, nor a car gangway, nor a
steamboats, deck from one end of the
United States to the other, where con-
slant evidence of the fact may not be
collected. The trait has been celebrated
10 story. if not in song. Noise, racket,
contradiction, impertinence. impotence.
and even insult--all are endured from
children with patience which in pa
reuts is a new thing For irritablllty,
shortness of temper, high strung nerves.
and quickness Of resentment, it is on the
ehild's side, not the parents that you
must look. This is no doubt one of the
things which make the smiability of
Americans so marked trait every where. !
They really get from the children the