The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-12-28
MRS. CAUDLES LAST.

OF their marriage Gne Duuospe nave given
a dinner party, during which the husband
has been a little too attentive to his fair
neighbor. Mime. Dudost has smothered
her jealousy all through the evening, but
scarcely have they retired to the conjugal
couch, W here she is certain that the offend
er cannot escape her, especially as she has
taken a firm grip upon his nightshirt,
when she opens the hOodgates of her
wrath.
AIadame-So, NJ. Duhost, you have so
little conscience that you think you are
going to 60 right to sleep.
Monsieur don It see what's to prevent.
Perhaps the pate might for I ate a good
deal of it. But I took three glasses Of
chartreuse, and
Madame-Yon forget the remorse that
Providence sends to haunt the sleep of the
guilty.
Monsieur-Why the deuce should Provi-
dence bother itself about me?
Madame-Oh, I know that regrets are
useless. But If I could go back ten years,
what happened then would never happen
again, I can assure you. did not expect
when we came out Of the church that the
tenth anniversary of our wedding would
be like this. can see you now, dressed as
a bridegroom, wearing a rose in your but
tonhole, and you kept declaring the flower
was just like me.
AIonsieur-Did I say bhat9 I?
Madame-Ob, I know it's the way with
you men to forget what you said at time
like that But 1 remem Der it. 1t seems
as if I could see. you now as we came out
of the church. You simply deYoured me
with your eyes.
Monsieur-You mistake the emotion
my eyes expressed. was wearing a new
pair of tight Shoes and they caused me
the most exquisite agony.
Madame-Oh, you may talk about boots
today, but that was not what you were
thinking OF then. And at our wedding
breakfast, where, in defiance Of custom,
you absolutely insisted on sitting next to
me, you kept passing all the dishes to me-
and believe you would have fed me on
pearls and diamonds. And to think that it
is the same man who behaved so disgrace
fully this EVENING" Oh, you need not look
astonishedl Everybody noticed how you
neglected me. 1 must have looked like a
bad bargain that you have thrown aside
Our guests absolutely biushed for you for
making them witnesses to such an insult.
But perhaps that was what you intended
to do when you invited them.
Monsieur-But you made out the list
yourself
Madame explosively)-ThaJi is not truei
Do you mean to pretend that I invited that
Mile Josephine Ducoudray? Oh, yes, I
know you are going to say her brother
brought her here without your knoWledgel
"A pretty fellow that brother Isl
Monsieur (ilnpatiently) -Oh, comet Are
we never going to Sleep
Madame-Well, I'm not preventing you.
Monsieur Cburying his head in the pill
low1=Thanks
"a brief interval-of silence.)
Madame know perfectly well the rea-
son that Josephine came shopping about
the house. She wanted to see how she
would be fixed when you marry her after
my death. Oh, she will not have long to
wait Dropping day by day as am I feel
that I shall not last long
Monsieur (irritated) oh, nonsensel
Aladame-Oh, you may well wrap your
self up in the bedclOthes when speak Of
her. It only proves to me your relations
with her. I dom see how you can have the
assurance TO look me in the face.
Monsieur (his nose in the bedclothes)-
But I'm not looking you in the face.
Madame-Tbe more shame to you, then
All, if it were Josephine, you would
Monsieur (angrily)-For the last time,
madame, beg you to let me go to sleep. I
shall have plenty of time to listen to your
silly complaints tomorrow.
Nadame-Very good, sir. An honest
man would defend himself It is only the
guilty who keep silent for fear of betraying
themselves.
a new interval Of silence.)
Madame with a sudden burst of rage)
No, 10, mol I shall not keep still You
viii have to tear out my tongue first.
just try to tear out my tongue. defy
you to do it.
Monsieur dosing the last remnants Of
his patienoe)-The night is for sleeping,
not for tearing out tongues
Madame-Perhaps it is sacred to your
dear Josephine I wish the dinner had
ohoked herl The idea of her daring to
critioise my dinnerl
Nonsieur-On the contrary, she praised
it highly
Madame-Who wanted the impudent
hussy s praises? Oh, shall never forget
your conduct even If live to be a hun
dredl
Monsieur-A hundred? just now you
told me you were not long for this world.
Madame cannot understand how such
shameless creatures can exist. daring to
lead on a married man so before a score Of
people Every body pitied me during the
game Of cards, when she kept saying to
you every minute, with disgusting smile,
g. will take your heart. - You would have
seen how shocked everybody was if you
had not been too busy incoming over the
deceitful hussy, who was cheating you
for she did cheat you. You cannot deny
that she was caught with two aces of clubs
in her hand.
MOnsieur-That will teach you not to
let our little son Paul touch the cards. He
mixed up two packs when he was playing
with them.
NIadame-Oh, NJ Dufost, never ex-
pected to hear you besmirch the reputation
of your sonl So, then, to defend this
shameless creature, you pretend that poor
child only years old has already become a
sharper
Monsieur lin rage)-Oh. this is too
much Shut up, yyOmani You will drive
me crazy
Madame-So much the better. I would
rather SEE you crazy than an unnatural
father.
Monsieur (exasperated to the last degree)
Listen. think have given you enough