Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-10-18
ON GOOD MANNERS.
pOLITEsEss AND THE GRACIOUS
GIFTS OF NATURE.
PeopIs who Come within the Range
of Our Book of Euquette-selhsh-
transformations Incsdents--womnn
with "a Dog-Personal Points.
0corr..nonaenc. Of the pispatch.)

| ing a late work on good manhe1S' as
| any book could cover the ground OF
| etiquette with a set Of rules like recipe
| for the making OF Brunswick stew or
tomato catsup. We could make neither OF
! these without the proper ingredients, nor
| can one have good manners without M
herenf good qualities.
Bad manners may be CLOSED over with
a superficial substitute. but they don't
wear"
There IS another curious thing about
good-and bad-manners. They are ell
matte.
| II IS I'm the amenities OF indoor
life that the clvilties-and incivilities-of
social intercourse are more noticeable.
| Somehow In the open seasons, the walks.
| and rides, and daily outings OF fair
weather. at all goes" Or Is II that
| people are really better natured and more
polite, because more in accord with the
gracious gifts OF nature? Certainly no
one but n crank or an idiot could be
churlIsh with the blue skies and summer
sunshine OF happy days about them.
| 1 have known entertainments 10 be
given by reputable people,. e., per-
sons Of means-at which the hostess not
only failed to introduce guests who were
| strangers but left them TO stand for
| lornly and blankly about while she
| busted herself in having good time"
| These are the peope who come within
range OF orr Book on Etiquette" They
study assduously the Don't" gotten up
under that head, paying special attention
| 10 don't wear creaking shoes" don't
- -.
! don't wear your overshoes IN the draw
ing-room," and others equally as ridicu-
lous while ignoring that higher courtesy
which comes from a desire to make
others happy
sELFISHNEsS.
Selhshness Is a handspring OF impollte-
ness. In fact. I question II purely selfish
people are ever consistently polite. Selfish
| ness IL aggressive. In the family II
Is a kind Of domestic highwayman. who
Will have whatever your pockets contain,
or your life You must yield or fight.
| Even then you 20 down because selfish
ness is unsaruculous and fights with
weapons you would scorn TO use.
We all love to do ready service for our
| dear ones. but not ION demand" II the
! selfish unity Is a man the whole house
| hold bends to his m crest wish. II wo-
| man-the choice OF all is yielded-the
| freshest magazine, the warmest corner
| by the ireside in winter, the coolest
| breeziest nook in summer, the softest
chair. the daintiest tidbit, and-always
| accepted. IL Is a vice that Is sexless.
| Great men are saturated with its i'm
polteness. and the selhshness of little
women is often colossal There are few
better places for a study OF bad manners
than a crowded street-car, and yet one
| lffan or ~ nplifappca and
kindness that warm the heart.
do not mean the romantic, trumped
up tales, where the young man pays the
| seedy, ole woman's fare, and finds his
bread upon the watet' come back to
him I'm a legacy later on, but genuine,
bona-fide goodness from noble motives.
once heard floating across a car,
very audible to all of the passengers. a
conversation between two well-dressed
ladies anent a quiet-looking woman who
got OF as they stepped on. Said No. /:
Il lived right next door to her for three
months, and she never darkened my
door"
No held up her hands in horror at
the very idea. And So" continued the
other, when she invited me to go,
said l was much obliged. but I did not
have time. Now, wasn't I rightT' she
added with vindictive look
Right" thought l. Shade Of Sapphlra!
What smooth words must have been
I spoken and false politeness given to have
drawn forth an invitation of any sort!
WOMAN WITH A DOG.
Besides the gossip. there is generally a
woman with a dog that snarls, another
who eats candy with feryor, and another
who sits as bias as her dress hounce, and
takes up room enough for the two tired
men swung to the strap.
And there are men-the placid. the
scornful, the Indifferent, and the thought
full men, and the gallant - Oh, yes;
there are a few left Greater in number
/ am glad to say, the further South one
goes, and they deserve a whole chapter
TO themselves.
For myself, am chary about offering a
seat. The elderly gentlemen. bent and
broken; the women with babies, and the
old women define my limit. These last
are risky.
One day an ancient lady, tottering as
she came. boarded a car, and-remember-
ing my rural manners-I arose. She was
an old, old woman-kind Of a mutton
garnished as a kid, you know-and she
eyed me quizzically.
"Well, I'm not so much older than you
are" she smiled sweetly, but,
thankeer'
|
politeness and Indifference far better than
outward kindness when the heart is cruel.
In little trip among the literary elite
of Washington. not so many moons ago,
/ was invited by a rising poetess TO a
charming half-hour's visit OF mutual ad-
miration.
My friends apartments" were elegant.
but I suppose even Eden had its draw
backs-snakes and all-and here 1t was
thin walls.
As ! entered / heard the piercing cries
Of a child down stairs that wept and
would not be comforted. I found my
poet at her desk. in a gorgeous gown OF
Persian silk, with her blue eyes clouded
and her hands pressed to her classic
brow.
"Oh, how ] wish / could choke that
childv said she. II am writing a poem
on Motherhood that know they'll take
at Godey's, and cannot get the rhyme
l wish the days of Herod were backr"
And she wondered why / laughed.
, Many breach OF good manners is made
4 with the tongue. st. Paul says a gooc
] zeal about that small member-I forget
, just vhat-but he means IL as a warning.
The creed OF good manners lasts
through life. That sweet consideration
! for others which Is. the basis of true civil
f: ty is often apparent In hours OF bodily
e | anguish and even In death. Jefferson
, Davis had that grand yet gentle chivalry
! particularly to woman. His dying words
: to his wife were, please excuse me.
+ when she offeredg him medicine. And
F; Chestertield's good breeding left him onl,
I with death.
e "Give Drysdale chair" said he to his
I valet when that person was announced
UolA ~. - ~.