Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-16
Though problems come in grim array

Though problems come IN GRIM array
To fret us more and more,
The leading question of the day
Is. Mister. what's the scorer
Warrington Star.
Watts-''I wonder what kind Of
shirts these can be that are advertised
for 20 cents?" Potts-"Married mems"
indianapolis Journal,
Callers-'Are the ladies at home"
Bridget examining their cards)-
"Sure. ma am, it isn't them that lives
here-it's thei McAdamses. Life.
Tommy-'My pa says it's sin to
swear" Johnny-"Huh! / guess your
pa never tried to explain politics to
your ma."-Philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
Jim Senn-'Why do they call money
the long green|" Joe Cose-"Nega-
lively, l suppose; because without it
you are short and blue. '-Philadelphia
North American.
Everyby-" This rain is a good thing
for the country, isn't it?'' Neverby--
ooh, l don't know about that Just
look at what it's done to my straw
hatr'-Roxbury Gazette.
II like summer; my wife;is always
so gentle and anna BILE in hot weather.
$50 is mine; it must be because all the
progressive euchre clubs have shut
down. "-Chicago Record.
''Them folks from town didn't stay
much of a spell, Uncle ReubY' Nav;
went back mad cause we .itidn't hev
no cycle paths an 'letTtic' lights in Their
blackberry patch Chicago Record.
Mrs. Snobbs-"H How many. girls do
the Newlies keep Mrs Nobbs-"Only
one" Mrs. Snobbs."Only one? Good
gracious, and 1 came pretty near call
ing there yesterday" -Cleyeland Lead
er.
Husband expect some friends of
mine this evening. and l must go out
and buy somes cigars. Wffe-Why, /
thought you bought some for them. II
did. but forgot to get any for myself"
Life. .,~r ~: &: a,a.''.
"Dah's oney ting :sliore:h Said Uncle
Eben "'bout all desheT accidents da's
gwineter happen long. ob-efe. 66hth er
July. Dab aim noboddy kih Say: dey
didn' know twas leaded,ns5A5X flashing
ton Star 81 .:s.,4.tf:
The merchant Ito his daughters suit
or)-"Now, how are you fixed financial
Typ The suitor-"Well, / have no
debts" The merchant What a pity!
Then l cannot give you my daughter"
Sketch.
Mrs. Wallace-Here again, see. Why
don't you settle down to work? Perry
Patetic-Ma'am, l would. but somehow
l was always too ambitious to come
down to workin' fer day wages.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Horatius Cthe good one)-Pa says il
I'm real good he'll take me to the cir
GUS Thomas (the bad one)-Aw, rats.
Yer amt got no brudders ner sisters
do ez yer please. Yer de on'y excuse
he's gct.-Judge.
81 am glad to see you looking SO much
better than when | met you last, Miss
Quickstep." why, when was that, Mr..
Spoonamore? Last Thursday, on the
boulevard You We're riding bicycle"
Chicago Tribune.
Wardpull-I believe it would be
good idea to nominate BZSkpxski. He's
a mighty good man. Heclah-Oh, he's
a good man all right, but how could we
ever get up a campaign yell on such
name as that ?-Indianapolis Journal.
Mistress Ito servant looking for q
place)-Why don't you show your book
of references? Servant-Because / do
not wish to reflect on the character Of
the employers who change their SER
wants every ight.-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
Tyre-Bilkins and his wife have
bought bicycle built for two. Rider
Ah Riding tandem, eh? Tyre-Well;
judging from their webbing perform
ance yesterday, should say they were
just riding at andom.-Philadelp
North American. -
Here comes that Miss Flighty with
her loud skirt. The. hatefuI Things'
Il don't see anything loud about her
skirt Heavens! Can't you hear that
rustle?' Christmas. l Would give $40
extra for a rustic in a skirt like tina :s.
San Francisco Wave.
well, after dinner Boresome told
story about his exploits in Africa and
then one about an Irishman he met in
Switzerland" But / thought you were
not at the banquet:" Nor was at
this particular one. but have attenda
sixteen others where BoresOme told J
.sxse stories. Washington Times.