The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1896-05-02
They "nelt" the Wrong Man.

got caught out in the cold snap.
They "I1elt" the Wrong Man.
Along with that general wave of
trouble and confusionment in the
Rocky Creek settlement = which
couldn't write it all up in my last let
tcr-Jule Majors he got tied up at the
Crazy Sloan.
BY this time no doubt you will recol-
lect two or three things eoneernin julie
N1bors. lie is one of the most unhap-
pest and down trod citizens in the
round created world. He is forever and
eternally at outs with the general gov-
eminent on the common grounds that
the rich git richer" and the poor git
poorer as the days are goin by, or
words to that extent. But the manest
trouble with julie Nabors is that he is
crippled under his hat. Understand
me now, don't throw no heavy blame
on the man for that. He didn't boss the
job of maxim himself, and the good
Lord don't make no mistakes in His
business. But to the best of my recol
lection, the whole entire Majors genera
ton never was afflicted with any brains
to speak of. And as to Jule-well, he
don't know anything for certain. He
cant even tell what is the matter with
him when he is hungry lie will go to
bed for sick and take medicine and send
for the doctor, when all he needs in the
round world is a square meal of
yictuals.
The naked, unwashed truth in
regards to the Majors family is that
they are too monstrous fresh from the
bill country. They first moved their
washin into the Rocky Creek settlement
some seven or eight years ago, and they
come from somewheres in the neighbor-
hood of place they call Postum Trot-
way back there in the hills, where the
women folks are still knittin socks for
the confederate soldiers, whilst the men
ere still yotin for old Hickory Jackson
for president every four years as reglar
as the time rolls around.
Now along in the Christmas, you I'M
derstand, julie Majors put in his bid
on the contract to carry all the crazy
people off to the Sloan, and blamed
If they didn't give him the job. So con-
sequentially when Steve Goodman let
his head gearirs jump a cog and went
blind stavin crazy it was Jules business
to take him to the place prepared for
crazy people. But in orderment to
soft-soap and hornsnoggle Steve into
Iuallin the trip, they told him that
julie Majors had lost his wife and went
plum crazy and that he (Steve Good
MANI would have to take the ravin i'd,
OF to the Sloan. Steve lowed he want
TO candidate for the job, but he didn't
see how he could go back on his old
friend julie Nabors in times of trouble
and of sorrow, and on them grounds he
would go.
So that was the general circumfer-
ence of the surroundins when they got
On the cars and went off together. julie
was takin Steve, and Steve he was tallin
julie And by the twelve cpistles, when
they got there the general manager
of the Sloan turned Steve out and
kept julie in. Naturally, of course,
julie Majors come up missin for several
days, but the people in the settlement
didn't know what in thunderations
had went with him till he writ letter
home giyin out the facts and eallin for
help. The county board then had a
called meetin and sent the papers on to
the Sloan, tellin the general manager
that he had helt the wrong man.
1t was the last of the week before
julie returned back home. Then the
gang put in and give him such n scan
dlous draggin about his crazy scrape
till now, bless gracious, he won't even
travel the big road for fear he viii meet
up with somebody that has heard the
news.
The general manager of the Sloan
writ back in letter that he tried his
level blamdest TO find out which one
of the men was the most cra2iest, and
finally at last on general principles
and from general appearances he had
TO hold the man which give his name as
julie Nabors.
In the meantime Steve Goodman had
hit the grit and hit it movin. In givin
his accounts 10 the county board julie
reported "all present or accounted for
but one, and he is out and gone"
Now. If they ever find Steve Goodman
and bring him back TO the settlement
which reckon they willard he isstill
a flttin candidate for the Crazy Sloan
julie Majors Will give up his Job and re-
tire back TO the pleasant shades of pri-
yete life.