Birmingham state herald., 1896-02-02
9 RICH AND RARE.
A Rural Traveller Relates His Western Expe-
 rience in the Native Dialect.

my annual tour of the west, said the traveller, I happened to be in small frontier Texas town for the night. The weather was disagreeable a sort of sleety blizzard ragged all morning, but along towards night it cleared off, freez- ing cold. I secured quarters at the best hotel in the village and sat down to good, warm fire in the cozy waiting room and engaged the proprietor in eonversa- sation. Directly we were interrupted by an old gentleman, who opened the door and peered in hesitatingly. as if he knew not whether to come in or go back out. "Howdy John; hows all?' said he. I heerd Johnnie wus sick wid a cole an l cdmmed over ter see how's he CT gittin' CT long, an ef thar's enythin' wat l kin do fur uns"
 No. Uncle Billy; no, nuthin'. Johnnie he's mos we'll now; but won't yer come in an set CT while?" said mine host.
 No. thankee,' said the veteran; 'I mus be gettin' CT long ter home. Good evenin', John."
 Goodbye, Uncle Billy; cum ergin.'
 Turning to me the proprietor said: See that ole man. stranger%
 "Yes," says l; why"
 Well" said he, that thar's ole Uncle Billy Burgess, the blind man; leastwise the blind man that wus. You see he'd bin bind fur nigh onto twelve year, an l we knDWn nm TUT more twenty Afore he went blind he wus the hard Workinest and honestest man thar wuS eroun this yerc ranch, an right now he kin do as big CT days work as airy boy he's got, an he's the dady uv nine grown men. sides five grown darters and thir- ty-odd gran'chilen Everybody eround these yere parts knows Uncle Billy, an respects him, too, fur he's allers bin in fur doin' uv the rite thing by his neigh bors and totin' fair wid cowboys. Injuns and all them. He's helped ter swing many CT horse thief an made more'n one red skin bite the dust in his day, an saved lots of cowboys scaps from the trechrus Injuns to say nothin uv his good morals"
 But" said I, you said he was blind He did not act to me like blind man."
 No; nor Is he nuther. I am gittn' to the pint. You see the Injuns used ter poster we uns on this we're ranch power ful bad, an twelve year ergo cumin this June they made a rade on us. kilt seven uv our boys and carried off ole Uncle Billy's little darter, Sarah Ann, an he follered 'em day an mite an kotch 'em an slaughtered the last one uv the pesty things an got his little darter back saft an soun, who's now my son Jos wife, as likely ooman as you'd min ter see. While follern uv them Injuns tho. Uncle Billy he kotch his death O cold an had the fever, wat settled in his eyes an put him blind by formin' uv a white skin outer his sight; an that ar lit- tie darg wat you seed a follern uv him uster lead him erbout an wus his sole nendance fur ter git eround 'ceptin when Johnnie, who's my young un, done it fur him. Uncle Billy. he's powerfully taken up wid Johnnie, an thinks a mighty heap O that little darg wat he calls Fido, too kase they both wus his friends when he wus blind. But I diverge to the pint Erbout six months ergo we uns hearn tell uv big sergent over to Bir- strait. An Nancy Hicks-that's my niece, Twin over on Prairie Dog ranch was so cross-eyed that she looked seven ways for Sunday One eye shot up, an 'tother hit shot down kinder hena-like, an she lowed that she was guinter that sergent an git 'em sot strait, if hit cost her the wuth of Ole Nick-that's her hoss an Tom an Jerry--them's her two steers-to boot; lowed she just knowed she niver could get married. crost- eyed kase shed done tried it morn thirty year. an that's the naked truth, stranger, We'll, Nancy she up an went, an that ar sargent at Birmingham he just propped her eyes open an run 'em out on the stem an sot 'em strait in less'n two min- utes widout hurtin' her one bit: lowed she didn't feel it when it was did"
 Yes, said I, but what does that have to do with Uncle Billie's case?"
 H"Listen, stranger, an I'll tell ye," said he. Nancy she cum home strait eyed, tellin uv the many won derful operashuns wat she had saw did by this big sargent doctor at Bir- ningham; lowed she seed a ole oman over thar frum Mississippi wat'd been stone blind for nor n fifteen year, an this yere sargent he performed on her eyes an brung her ter her site. Wal, sar, no sooner'n ole Uncle Billie hearn this than hn hic hnA tor nt hi big eye sargent, an nothin' would do bus l mus go erlong wid him. 'Peered ter me hit wuz a mighty fur long ways ter go, an I'd never been acrost the oshun, nuther; but just ter please the ole man I promised ter go, ar in less'n two days me an him an that ar little dorg O hisn wuz aboard the kars fyin' erlong ter Birmingham. When we crost the oshun thar at Memphis I naturally felt a little skeered, an when the engine backed er- roun' on the big boat an commenced ter rock I felt lonesome ter my stomic, but niver opened my mouth ter Uncle Billy, kase I knowed he wuZ blind an wouldn't niver know the diff renee, ceptin' he got sea sick. Well. sir, me an Uncle Billy we made hit acrost alrite an got inter Birmingham in the ded O night, an afore the kars come nigh ter the depO' I seed so many fires that thunk sho' the town wuz a-burnin' up; an says I to the ole man, Uncle Billy, says I. the towns afire an burnin' to the groun', sho's yer born hit am; everything's afire-never seed the like O fires in all my born days; fires burnin' all aroun' us. but yer needn't be skeered. fer the kars is saft. Then seed the conductor, an says I ter him: MT. Conductor if yer please, is the town afire? An he says No! Hits nothin' but them blasted furnaces! an then felt easy. Tell yer what. tho, stranger, them blasted furnaces thar at Birmingham do make mighty heap O light, an they sho Is calculated ter fool a man like me, wat aint niver travelled mutch or a blind man like Uncle Billy wus. Me an Uncle Billy an Fido we got outen uv the kars an sot down in ther settin' room thar at ther depo ter keep frum gettin' lost, kase Birninham Is a tremendus big village whar a man wat haint erquanted may lose hisself in an niver find his wey out ergin. No soonern hit was lite we uns struck out fur the sergent doctors of- flee, an when weseot thar he wus not in, so we uns jist sot down onto the steps an wated fur him. Terrectly CT big black Afican nigger cums erlong an says he: .a-n
 Were, wat uns doin' here settin' on rxfk .l oty