Crawford avalanche., 1896-11-19
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Clara-Do You call Bertha a beauty!
Maudic-To her face. yes.--Bostou
Transcript.
"Why don't you marry that girl? She
is real pearl" "Ah, yes; but ! don't
like the mother of peart"--Scottish
Nights.
Stkker-I dreamed last night that
you gave me ten dollars. Stryker-
Good! that makes us square. l owed
you a tenner, you know.--Boston
Transcript.
'Don'tw she exclaimed fearfully;
"you need 1t far worse than r." Regi-
nald Drooley Van Lukewarm had
threatened to give her piece Of hIs
mind.-Chicago News.
The poets lot would happier be s, x
If he could sometimes turn ia
Attention from the thoughts that burn
To firing up the furnace.
Washington Star.
Lord Notasent lmoodily)-I dreamf
last night, James, that had plenty Of
money. The Valet teagerly)-An' 200
was TIL 'appy H'american girl. me Slud7
--Puck.
She-I see they have now q "Woman's
Dictionary" Do you suppose that diff
fers from any other? He-Probably
has more words in it.-Yonkers States
man.
''That hair restorer bought of you
found very efficacious.' remarked Caw-
ker to his barber. ''SoT replied the
knight Of the razor. Il must try It
myself.
"You lock so pleased; where have you
been?' "Fve been visiting dentists
offices, and had lovely tinie-got lot
Of new ideas for our college yell"-Chi-
cago Tribune.
"I can't see why it is" said Bobby,
"that when little boys are cross, folks
say they are naughty; and when papas
and; mammas are cross, folks say they
are vous."-Harper's Bazaar.
Dah's chance foh some hurrah,
Fob each pusson hbbin';
Eff yoh can'edate got lef',
Holler foh Tanksgibbin'.
Washington Star.
Smith, wish had studied boxing
when was a boy. You see. need 1t
so much inrmy profession. Jones (sur-
sed)-What! as a lawyer? smith
No. AS, q father.-Harper's Bazaar.
"Why do, you beg2" asked the kind
hearted woman Il can't help it,
ma'am," said the beggar. my wife's
a widder, with five children, and they
looks to me for support. ."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Somebody has invented table to ia
cilitate writing on railroad trains.
Things are getting so that a travelling
man won't have any excuse left for not
writing letters to his wife.-Chicago
Record. rs -
The Approximately don't you go
to work? The Tramp-Tm trying to
work, sir. The. Approached--At what7
The Tramp-At present, sir, I'm trying
to work, you.-Philadelphia osNorth
American. e'i
Things never evenly befall,
'Mongst men, though we are brotherss
Thanksgiving was designed for all. "'''
But some have more than others. ~ ~
Washington Star.
$50 you feel i'll, my little lad?" asked
the kind minister. "YOu should go and
tell your mother. She will give you
sage advice" "Shat's jest it." said the
boy. I'm doggone sick O. sage."-New
York Press.
The Clergyman had no idea profan-
ity was so prevalent till began to ride
a. wheel. His Wife-Do you hear much
of it on the road? The Clergyman
Why, nearly everyone run into swears
frightfully!-Puck.
Baoon-p sSw Bloomer to-day. He
had his arm i'm sling, and was walking
with crutches. Egbert-Riding a bike,
suppose? mo; not yet. He'd been
DOWN to buy one, though, at dry-goods.
ore."-Yonkers Statesman.
Harry, before we were married, you.
begged me to so hand in hand with you
down life's pathway" $50 1 did,"
And now you get mad when ask you
where you go without me five nights in
the week."-Chicago Record.
'sThe age Of chivalry is entirely past"
she said. II don't know about that"
the young man answered. men can't
engage in duels to settle affairs of the
heart" mo, bet they can join rival
football Observation-Disclosures Star.
wG.tts-Let's walk along till car
overtakes us. Potts-No. Let's walk
the other way until a car meets us. We
will catch it sooner; we will go down
town just as quick. and we will get
more ride for our money.-Indianapolis
Journal.
Ah. radiant rose, with your grace so de-
mure,
Your beauty the eye aud the spirit con-
tents;
But there still turks the thorn. None
would guess. am sure.
That You cost dollar and twenty-five
cents.
Washington Star. Is
Mrs. Billus-Johnny, IL you don't 60
to bed right now won't wake you up
tomorrow morning at all. Mr.. Billus
docking at her over his glasses)-Wbat
good do you think thatll do. Maria?
Mrs. Billus-It will bring him. He has
made arrangements to 20 fishing to-
morrow morning. Qt did.)-Chicago
Tribune. F
Bear Adopts a Little Girl.
Little 4-ycar-old Hclma Ursler wan
dered away from her home near Snow
shoe, Pa, Oct. %. She was swallowed
-