Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-06-17
The old man looked from one to the
other of MS. embarrassed

OSAo- ~ N'y CAuOdlIdSS0U.
"God forbid" he said feeling]
that should think SO i'll Of nv de
chlldren, but perhaps yes, I kno,
that's it; one of the newly invented On
ent electric night lamps, eh?''
grinned. Anna looked daggers
me.
1T is new coffee machine, fathe
dear' said my wife's sister Fanni
whose head is always full of mischie
You throw the beans in one side, az
cafe au lait' already made flows out {
the other. Plain as daylight .
Fannie, my child," said ], with a
the dignity I could muster, s'please 9
and bring some hot water and the nece
sary ground coffee and give us chane
TO demonstrate to father the utility {
this wonderful machine"
Fannie did so. In the meantime th
old man walked several times aroun
the table, shaking his silyery locks an
casting suspicious glances at the com
pllcated thing before him. He locke
positively frightened.
| Say, Otto, 4" turning to me with a,
anxious face, II hope that thing will
not explode. We read every day dread
ful stories about these new tangled pat
ents IN the papers. Please be careful
children, beg Of you"
why, father, the whole proceeding
IS SO very simple" my wife pleaded
defending her present. "Just read wha,
1t says here! take the water, " taking
the vessel with the hot water from Fan.
me, land pour it into the boiler like
thls-see, just SO. Aw!" she suddenly
cried out. She had scalded her fingers.
1t was my turn now. '.PIease steu
aside, )" said, going up to the table.
Let me try. You will injure yourself
worse with your experimenting Hand
me- the water, Fannie. That's it. Thank
you, dear! And now I'll light the lamp.
Zounds, the stuff won't burn!''
1T is prepared noninfammable alco-
hol for medicinal purposes, said father.
well, then, send for some that will
burn, l cried, out Of patience, after I
had wasted dozen or SO matches in the
vain attempt to ignite the lamp.
II know what I am going to do. lam
going to sacrifice my bottle Of eau de
cologne, +" Fannie exclaimed magnani-
mously. "What is the differenceP'
She ran off and pretty soon returned
with the odorous fluid, emptying it in
to the lamp after I had poured out the
"medicated" alcohol.
The cologne burned all right, and
pretty soon a low melodious singing
could be heard, showing that the ma
chine was beginning to do it's work
My wife's countenance was all aglow
Now she was happy; only father looked
still anxiouslike and worried.
Children, better not go near it, " he
admonished. "Only yesterday three lit
tie girls were terribly scalded, you
know
Pretty soon the steam seethed inside
the machine, the cover fell upon the
lamp and the fame was extinguished. I
looked sideways at my wife with grin.
According to the recipe, % said ma
l1clously, "the coffee ought to be done
now, but fail to smell the usual aro-
ma. Do you?"
just then the water in the boiler be-
gan seething and bubbling stronger, and
stream OF water shot out of the latter
into the. glass tube and thence into the
bowl on top.
My, how niceP' exclaimed my little
'-year-old brother-in-law Fred gleefully.
For all the world like waterfall!"
My wife was disguised. She turned
'ale from subdued excitement and an
,er. "What can this mean?" she said.
Something must be wrongp'
Il think your self actor extraction
Machine is suffering from internal trou-
les. There is altogether too much in
ernal business" ventured to remark ,
ryly. II dare say you are beginning
make up your mind where the best
ocking chairs are for sale. Eh, dear?'
My wife looked as If she were consid-
ring whether it would be the better G
ollcy to fall i'll a fainting fit into my c
rms or to declare herself vanquished i
nd pay the bet, while her father con- t
nued shaking his head until the tassel 4
q the top of his cap swung to and fro S
ke a pendulum. n
WELL" " he at last remarked, "this Y
the funniest apparatus I ever saw. i
there is the coifee?" when suddenly a
annie, in her usual impulsive way, .
led:
"What a set of fools we all are! We
rgot all about putting some in"
Sure enough. A napkin had been ac- I
dentally thrown over the ground coffee
ought in by Fannie, and during the
evailing excitement Of expectancy no. o.
dy had given it thought. 4
My wife was delighted Her machine a
rs to be redeemed, after all. After IA N
ring me with another annihilating IL
ok the second act of the drama began n
ot single word was spoken. We were M
7aiting developments. 70
Again the secthing and bubbling &C
ind, and even the aroma Of steaming m
flee filled the room. The brown fluid De
1ld be seen passing through the tube, m n
d exclamations of surprise and graft tn
alton escaped the lips Of those present. pa
ma was all smiles and sunshine eS
Il trust,' she said TO me mischie- "a
asly, that you have not forgotten the m
1ress where to buy that brooch we re
re talking about yesterday" er
Even father nodded satisfied and WI
asantly. an
This is practice machine" he In
sed complacently, pouring out the We
t cup of the brown beverage, "and sp'
at an aroma, but rather an odd sort un
smell, Strange, isn't it? What does
NELL like?" gr;
The old man lifted the cup to his lips du
tasted the contents. With jerk he an
it down again upon the table, max pei
wry face. ou
I'll be- ask your pardon, but pll
t stuff has positively wicked taste. the
abominable, fiel What the IS
kens does it taste like?'' Gig
Ie expectorated several times and ant
ssed his hands to his stomach as if
seated. mo
Just like eau de colonge father" I dis
gested, "a very agreeable smell, the
It you think? A trifle odd when enl
en- with coffee, but you will undoubt- tax
7 get used to the taste when you the
e become familiar with the ma ne
le." hoy
IN q