davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
Red Bank, N. j., authorities are try

Red Bank, N. J., authorities are try
ing to suppress swearing on the pub
lie streets. Last week Grover Reeves
was arraigned before Justice Childs
and fined $3.50 for having used seven
bad words on the street. This is the
!. :--asaeSad case Of the kind that has oc-
Cured in a few weeks. All who wish
to swear on the public higway may do
so, provided there is no objection to
paying for each "cuss" at the rate OF
so cents a word.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
Dishonest Politicians,

us 1t really true" said the boy, that
politicians are sometimes not strictly
honest?"
Yes, " replied Senator Sorghum, sad
ly; Il am sorry 10 say that it is. / have
known politicians who got votes years
ago and have not paid for them yet
Washington Star,
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
A Marked Man.

There goes man who has great
pull" said the drummer.
"Ah!' answered The visitor to town
with heightened interest; "one OF your
local politicians, probably"
NO." the drummer replied, with
drummer's rigid adherence to TRUTH
mes barber New York Recorder.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
His NerYe.

IFamp-Kind lady, do I seek in vain?
I'm hungry as bear
Lady-Why, sakes alive! You here
again? gave you food, I'd swear.
Tramp-Swear not at all, for agree
with every word you speak, but that
was breakfast, don't you see? It's din.
ner now seek.-New York World.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

A New York inventor has been sent
to the asylum as the result of study
ing over a bottle which cannot be re-
filled" A great many men have gone
there through studying bottles which
have been filled too often.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
Providing for the Future.

Mrs. DE Brush-What peculiar por'
uere! What is it made of?
Attendant--That is made Of fine Jap
ahese rice strung or strings. Only ST.
Mr. DE Brush Better buy that,
Louise; when the exchequer gets loV
we can make soup of the portiere.-
Mercury.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
Food for Thought.

He pressed mad kiss upon her lips,
How can you?" she exclaimed.
An love Is blind" he answered.
and when, four hours later, he took
MS departure, she was still thinking
Detroit Tribune.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Sheep Manure-Sheep manure ii
properly managed stands next to poul-
try manure In value as fertilizer,
hence 1t is quite an item to supply plen-
ty OF bedding in order to secure as
much as possible. In supplying bed
ding not only is more and better ma
nure secured, but the sheep are made
more comfortable
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
It's Against the Law.

Mr.. Fort Greene-Where are you of
to now?
Mr.. Cheatem-Pm going down to
business.
why, this is Sunday"
81 know it."
And you're a broker"
Yes, sir"
well, don't you know there is a law
against shaving people on Sunday?'-
Yonkers Statesman.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

The Louisville base ball club an
nounces that it has signed the poet,
Henry Coolidge Semple, as a pitcher"
for next season. We marvel that the
poet Stephen Crane was not chosen in
stead; no one ever would have been
able to get onto his curves.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Mark Twain is to receive $4,000 for
his lecture course in England This,
together with the great popular sub
scription started in his behalf by a
Cincinnati paper, will give him $1O,-
016.48.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

The cable brings the interesting in
formation that Miss Viola" of Lon
don is coming over to this country Ito
try going over Niagara Falls" We
think she will experience. little diff
Guilty in going over the falls if she
tries hard enough. but we advise her
to court undying fame by engaging in
pie-eating contest in New York.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
Willing to Try.
Prospective Suitor-Yes, sir.

Old Gent-So you want to marry my
daughter, Ell!
Prospective Suitor-Yes, sir.
Old Gent-Do you think that you can
keep her in the same shape that I
have?
Suitor-Well, from what l have seen
of it in her bathing suit opera gown
and bycling boomers, l admit it's
worth my while making the effort
New York World.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

What do you suppose E. W. Clark Of
Nevada, Mo-, got, who sued Caroline
Simmons for $4,000 for breach of
promise? Got left, and the jury was
out only ten minutes.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Another heiress has gone. This time
it is Clara Busch, daughter of mil
lionaire st. Louis brewer, while the
lucky man is Baron Won Gontard. There
are still few more left.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
FARM AND GARDEN.
MATTERS OF INTEREST TO
AGRIcULTURISTS.
Some Up to-Date Hints About Cultiva-
ton of the Soil and Yields Thereof
Horticulture Viticulture and FIUri-
culture.

B I LII TIN OF
the Indiana Expert
mental Static n
says: The smut in
corn differs in sew
eral important par
Jicul2r8 from the
common smuts Of
the smaller cereals,
wheat, cats, rye and
barley. In no re-
spect is the differ
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

General Russell A. Alger has engaged
twenty-five rooms in St. Louis during
convention week. What's the matter
with Alger?
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Says squeamish Minnesota paper,
speaking of the Hayward case: Hang
ing is a terrible thing" 1t is, it is,
That's why We advise all our friends
to eschew numbering entirely.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
Good COmDauy,

Doughhead-Your cane Is good COM
pany when you're walking alone. | sun.
pose.
Jazley-Y Yes, and when I'm walking
with you, too. R0xbury Gaz,tte.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Says the Boston Traveller; REV. DR..
Gumbart of this city defends hell"
Well, it needs some sort of defense;
great many people speak disparagingly
of it.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Iuffaio offers $50 for the best sug-
gestion for municipal flag" What's
Vie matter with the stars and stripes?
Please send along that remittance.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Says the San Francisco Wave: Chi
cage has has tFT6At # single great preacher"
Well, that's all right; a great preacher
ought not to be single, anyway.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

The nan who begins by drinking
some time may end by having to drink
all the time
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

No man can grind down another
without first placing his own soul under
the milestone.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Il now transpires that-nearlv ell tbs
II AA -. s.sssacs t1ay lave been granted in Ok
lahoma are not binding. Isn't that aw-
ful2
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
California Versus Missouri Fruits.

A leading grocer advertises CalifOr-
MIA peaches, California lemon cling
peaches, California White Heath peach
es, California Bartlett pears, and even
California corn. tomatoes, cove oys-
ters, etc. 1t seems absurd that Mis-
souri, should use such vast supplies
from California, not only peach, pear,
cherry, but even tomatoes and corn,
and the same is true of Illinois and
other states. These fruits and vegeta-
bles are produced in California on
costly land, with high priced labor,
enormous freights crossing the mount
aims, and yet it pays them. Why not
Ozark peaches and pears, adding Mis-
souri, or Arkansas, as the case may be,
and why not Missouri, Illinois, Ken
lucky and Tennessee corn and toma-
toes, as well as fruits. People of the
Ozarks. Colorado and New Mexico are
beginning to wake up, and soon Cali
fornia will cease gathering all the
cream. We admire their enterprise but
we want to see more of it in every state.
People everywhere should grow more
fruits and not depend upon disposlng
Of it in the green state; have canning
factories, make jelly, preserves, etc.
Look what great industry preserving
OF fruits in England. Stark Bros. Bull
ietln.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

When a man gets up early in the
I9rning to drink, he is apt to spend
the day in doing nothing else.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

An oil-borer near Gallipolis, Ohio, is
down 900 feet and is still living on
hope.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Nobody ever goes to hades-accord,
ing to the tombstone.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Cripple Creek may turn out to be a
town with streets paved with gold.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
They Mover Speak.

Bell-"Today IS my birthday, I've
seen but eighteen winters"
Nell-"You ought to consult an ocU.
list"
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Being killed by electricity is a shock
Ing way to die.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

The hit of Herr Altwardt's first
lecture was made by a prehistoric egg.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

w. S. Strattan the Cripple Creek bo-
t4rS, .-n T9e cai
four years ago, and probably is not a
good carpenter yet.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

~ - -
went to town
Upon his little
pony;
He tried to get AZ
office, but
Twas got by
Mick Maloney.
Yankee Doodle en-
tered trade:
That was filled
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

by Blymer,
Einstcin, Isaacs, Abrahams, Schaub,
Noes and Oppenheimer,
Yankee thought with pick and spade
To earn his daily sage.
Alas, that job was filled by Gil
Oyanni Pietro Dago.
By shoyeling ore upon the dump
He sought to keep his house. He
discovered that that work was done
By Wycieh Szostakowsky.
'Fumph, Some heiress I must wed,
Aged and uncomely:"
That doubtful prize was carried off
BY BERTHE Cum Nothing Cholmonde-
ley.
Yankee Doodle rode back home,
Cast down, to be farmer;
But all the farms were owned by Lud-
Viz So $500
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

MARBLE HILL MISSOURI
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16

Yeast-Do you give your dog any ex-
egcise?
Crimsonbeak-0h. yes; he goes for a
tramp nearly every day.--Yonkers
1sAtesman,
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
Pats Ups and Downs.

Mike-"Well, Pat, how is tn world
treating you?"
Pat-"Well, OF have my ups and
downs"
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
DIR WIT AND HUMOR'
SOME GOOD JoKELETS FOR OUR
LEAN READERS.
The Condition That Confronted Yankee
Doodle-Pat's Ups and DoWns-IheV
Never speak-Against the Law-some
Sharp Points

w - ANKEE Doodle
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1896-01-16
All the Same.

: =. -'Sec4 :-H' and ION Yarmer,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-12-28

released. the spring closes up tho oil hole
/ until it is opened for oiling again.
I The United States senator to succeed
/ Senator Irby will be elected at the coming
/ session Of the legislature, but no OPPOSE
/ ton is anticipated to Judge Earle, VINO de-
feated GOV Evans in me senat ,,,,.a- pr, f
I mary. There IS some tax. however OF
I an effort to annul the primary Whleh, il
| done. means that the hight between Evans
/ and Earle for Senator Irbys seat VIII De
| renewed in most vigorous manner.
A few days ago the Bank of Hampton
made the unpleasant discovery that it mad
been operating under a commission, and
that a charter had never been taken out.
| Immediately after the discovery was
made however, application for charter
was made. and one has been issued by the
secretary of state. The corporators are
Jacob A. Lightney, w. I. Cummings ana
NJ. r. McSweeney The capital stock is
$25,0o0.
The state board OF control will this week
pay into the state treasury $4,000, being
the last payment on the 800, 900 which the
disDensary promised to pay the state. The
payment will greatly assist the financial
end OF the state government in overcom-
ing a deficit which otherwise would occur
From the large amount of liquors sent out
during the past week IL Is expected that
the dispensary will be able TO make fur
Their contributions in the future TO the
state treasury.
Dorchester county was formed on the
18th of this month, but two-thirds Of the
voters failed to agree on the county seat.
st. George received $40: Sommervile, 32S
and Ridgeville 203 votes of the 94l votes
cast. Gen. Stoppelheim was at the state
house Thursday to see Gov. Evans about
an election being ordered TO settle this
important question The date for this
election was made Jan. 2, the same as the
date for the election in the upper part OF
Union county to settle the name of Chero-
kee county, two-thirds of the voters hav-
ing failed to favor that name.
The Lancaster Enterprise of last week
has this interesting bit of information:
'"The school to be opened among the Ca
tawba Indians will be in charge of Mrs.
Eli Dunlap, and Will open OH Jan. 5.
This is the first effort that has ever been
made by the white people, so far as we
are advised to extend to these people the
advantages of education. Although tardy
in starting the work, it is confidently be-
lieved by those who are moving in the
matter that good results will follow. The
Rev. Mr.. Humphreys is interesting him
self in getting up a subscription for the
benefit of the school -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-12-28

ties and senator's pushed my sleigh amid
cries of 'Nive la France repeated thou
sand times, while the students sang La
Marseillaise,' to which the English list
ened, hat in hand, with the respect they
have for every noble manifestation:
"Why, one of the most striking 1acts IS
this: When l reached Australia the French
colony had been crushed by the German
colony. The consul who represented our
nation was little liked, and even put little
respected. AS soon as L arrived was re-,
ceived by the lord mayor in full official
costume; his wife and children offered me
flowers, and the military band played the
national hymns of France and of England
| owed this polite ovation to orders sent
from England. The effect was immediate:
The feelings reused by this almost royal
reception were extended to our French col
ony settled in Sydney and Melbourne.
1.-THE plays acted by my company and
myself met with success that Will never be
forgotten and when the vessel which bore
us toward the northern hemisphere had
fired it's three parting guns more than
5000 people standing on the WharVeS struck
UP our national hymn. assure you, my
friend that those who were present at
that thrilling and magnificent scene have
not forgotten it. In Hungary, the towns
French banners. in spite of the orders sent
out by the Austrian government. The
Czechs danced their national dances for
me- waving the coiors of France.
such, my friend, are the little victories
which have obtained for me so much in
dulgence / do not mention battles which
YOU, common with the WnOle pubic
Paris, have witnessed, To conclude, after
having thus searched my conscience,
find also this little fact in my favor: l re-
fused five months ago an offer of million
francs to act in Germany If disgruntled
people think that the celebration that peo-
Die are kind enough to offer me is out of
proportion to my talent, tell them that
am the fighting senior of a magnificent art
that inspires enthusiasm of an art that
improves morals l am the faithful priest
ess of poetry Tell them, my friend. that
hos nj
dent, since desiring to honor the art of
Interpretation and to raise the interpreter
to the level of other creative artists, it
has chosen for its manifestation a woman
Sarah Bernhard"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-12-28
FLORIDA.

Geo. b. Loud. of New York, formerly
of Pensacola. will be a candidate for col
lector of customs at Pensacola under the
republican administration.
The Russell house. at Key West, mas
been offered to the East Coast Railway
Company for five years, free of charge.
No definite answer has been made.
The Fernandina oil and creosote works
has an order from the Bell Telephone
Company for 1900 creosoted poles to be
used between Atlanta and Augusta, Ga.
IT is said creOsOted poles will last fifty
years while eight years is the average of
the uncreosoted poles.
Bronson is a dry town in dry
county. but it is rumored that one of her
citizens received barrel OF whisky the
other day, billed as box of bacon"
Whether 1t was bacon or whisky. il is 4
fact that there has been considerable
drunkenness in town since the arrival
Of the box
The st. Cloud sugar mill near Kissim-
NEE, will continue to run for about two
weeks yet before the crop is made up.
The mill Is now running at its full capac-
ity and turning out an excellent quality
Of raw sugar. The refining will not be
done at st. Cloud. owing to the fact that
it pays better to have it done north.
Mr. and Mrs. L. A. Niemyer, of Palm
Springs, Orange county, have little
daughter who was born Oct. is, 1896, who
has two grandmothers and three great
grandmothers. The ages of her great
grandmothers are: Fuller, 81 years: Mil
Ter, 50 years; Howe, 81 years. Her grand
mothers are aged: Niemyer, 81 years
Fuller, 81 years.
Starke Telegraph: Munroe Reardon and
Mrs. Lavara West were married at the
brides home east of town last Thursday
afternoon, Rev. L. w. Kickliter officiat-
ing. The marriage is the sequel to an ac-
quaintauce begun last spring under cir
cumstauces in which Mrs. West PLAYED
the part of the good Samaritan. The
groom is a brick mason by trade, and
While tramping through the country seek
ing work. Mrs. West granted him lodging
for several days and was very kind to hin.
After regaining his strength and VigoT
he proceeded on his way, finally stopping
at Cedar Keys, where he found employ
ment Before leaving, however, he secured
from Mrs West promise to continue
their acquaintance, and this correspond
ence led 10 the marriage last Thursday.
Thursday night. at the home of Henry
Ellis, at Camp Mooney, six miles west OF
Jacksonville, there was~a serious stab
bing ARRAY ia which Henry II. and Van,
ness Pickett, cousins, were seriously, II
not fatally stabbed. 1t is said that VanneSs
Pickett was cut by q knife in the hands
of Willie Mobiles. The wound extends en-.
tirely across the abdomen, and the intes.
tines protruded to such an extent that
they were visible and the victim held them
with his hands. 1t is not known who cut
Henry Pickett, as 1t was dark, and some
one stabbed him in the back and the blade
of the knife is said to have penetrated
deep into his lung. Their condition is
Drecarious 1t is said that the parties
were attending a Christmas eve froliC
and quarrel arose and fighting followed
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-12-28
SARAH, As SARAH SEES HER.
Nine. Bernhardt Tells What She
Thinks of Herself.
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
On the morning of the recent elaborate
celebration in her honor, Sarah Bernhard
contributed to the columns of LIE Figaro
a meditation on her own state of mind
upon the occasion, which is here trans
lated literally:
1T is an examination of conscience that
you ask or me. dear friend, and yet
DO not hesitate second in replying. Yes,
am proud, happy, and that to the depths
of my heart at the manner in which 1
am about to be honored. You ask me-
my friend, whether ] conscientiously be-
lieve that / deserve this honor. If an
swer yes, you will believe that 1 am very
arrogant; if 1 say no, that 1 am very
guilty.
Il rather prefer to tell you the why of
this because. 1t is now twenty-nine
years that l have been exposing to the
public the vibrations of my souls the
throbhings of my heart, the tears Of my
eyes. have interpreted a hundred and
twelve parts. l have created thirty-eight
personalities, of which sixteen were the
work of poets. l have struggled as no
human being ever struggled. Independent
by nature, detesting falsehood, / have
raised up against myself bitter enemies
Those that have deigned 20 fight against
| have laid low and conquered. They
have become my friends. The mud which
the others threw at me fell in dust, dried
up by the burning sunlight of my faith
and my will.
II have wllled, / have willed ardentlv.
to reach the highest point in art: / have
not yet attained IL; L have less time to live
than / have already lived, but what mat
ters that? Every step brings me closer
to my IDEAL The hours that have swept
by. taking with them my youth, have LEFT
me my courage and my cheerfulness: for
my aim remains the same and toward IL
i am tending.
81 have crossed the seas bearing my
dream of art within me, and the genius OF
my nation has triumphed. / have planted
the French word IN the heart of foreign
literature; that Is the deed Of which / am
most proud. Thanks 20 the propaganda
of my art, the French language Is to-day
the natural tongue OF the young genera
ton. l know this because teachers over
there have told me so, New York ladies
have assured me Of II, the public has
proved II to me, and / have been blamed
In the lecture room by Chicago German
professor for this insoent usurpation. la
South America, in Brazil the students
fought with swords because people tried
TO prevent them from shouting 'Nlve Ia
France while they dragged my carriage.
lin the Argentine Republic the students
60 honor my country had learned by
heart Racine, cOrnellle MOliere and jules
Lemaltro's criticisms ana they rccifed AN
this in ne most correct Language and with
almost nv foreign accent In Canada dcpu-
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-12-28
MONKEYS GO TO CHURCH,
Open-Air Congregation Which They
Voluntarily Join.

From the Boston Golden Rule.
The most singular audience that 1 ever
saw gathered to listen to preaching was an
audience of monkeys, says an India CORE
spondent
When / commenced work in the region
which 1 have now occupied for more than
thirty years. asked two fellow mission
aries to join me in preaching tour in the
adjacent taluk, or county. We first went
with three native assistants to the taluls
town, or county seat. Our tents were pitch
ed in a grove adjoining the town. We US
ually on our tours went two and two to
preach in the villages, but this being the
taluk town, and the first of our preaching
the gospel in that region, we went in a
body into the native city.
walking through the cloth, spice, grain
and iron merchants bazaar streets and
then through the goldsmiths and silver
smiths street, around through the temple
street and then through the street Of
Brahman residences, to advertise our pres
ence, and incite curiosity to know what
we were about, we finally took our stand
in the Brahman street, and all Joined in
singing one of the beautiful Telugu Chris
tan lyrics and gathered an audience Of
interested listeners.
We stood upon little raised platform
on one side OF the street against the house
walls 1ne houses were All OF one story
Joined together Ike "A city block, with nat
roofs, and n low parapet along the front
Of the roof one Of our native assistants
read a portion from the gospels, and an-
other preached briefly, then one OF my
fellow missionaries followed. preaching
more az length, while / watched the au6i-
people among whom ! expected 20 work
/ had noticed that behind the houses
on the opposite side OF tie street There
was long row 0f trees gfowing ia their