Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1896-07-16
STORIES OF STETSON.
TO-
ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING MEN
EVER IN THE SHOW BUSINESS.

An Ignorance whose Depth and Breadth
Made It Highly Entertaining-Stetson
Was Source of Fun Outside of The
atrical Circles as Well as Within Them.
There is q man born row and then
with 9 sort Of humorous silver spoon in
lis mouth. Uninterrupted good fortune
is humorist smiles on him through
ife, and that, too. with no seeming
effort Of his own. He somehow acquires
IN early reputation for saying Or doing
!unny things, which, once gained, moth
ing can take away. All the jokes in his
line of his generation, and often some
of earlier and later generations, are
,redited to him, and nobody cares to
dispute the honor. Collectors Of jokes
Ire ready to accept joe Miller as Joe
Miller, but no literary scholar believes
that he originated all the jests in his
alleged book. Anybody can think for
himself of two or three similar examples
in the present half century, and, even
50, it is not likely that John Stetson
ever really said all or half the amusing
things that were attributed to him.
They were good stories, some Of them,
and they were told of Stetson, just as
the story of fiddling while Rome burned
was told of Nero, not because they were
true, but to show what kind Of man
Stetson was.
The stories which it was thought
proper to fix upon John Stetson were
those which exhibited any bread, COM
prehensive and picturesque ignorance.
He was On ignorant man no doubt-ig-
norant enough, perhaps, to say all the
things that it was ever said that he
said, but the chances are that he did
not say them all. But the stories are
none the worse for that. Years ago
Sophocles' "Gdipus Tyrannus" was
played by the students of Harvard col
lege and excited great comment through
out the country. 1t was discussed one
evening at dinner at which Stetson
was present, and he cheered the COM
pany by announcing that he had con-
tracted with Sophocles for the writing
Of a 9ew play to be produced by him
the following season.
This story belongs in the same class
as q somewhat more elaborate one.
Stetson once took possession Of a new
theater and discovered in the lobby a
picture that did not meet his artistic
taste "Take that picture down." he
said.
But, Mr.. Stetson," somebody re-
monstrated, that picture was painted
by Michael Angelo"
michael who?" said Stetson.
Michael Angelo"
"Well, take it down." said Stetson,
land discharge Angelo I won't have
any Of these foreign scene painters
around my theater; I'm going to en-
ploy Americans.
This so amused those who heard il
that they at once told the incident tc
friends Of Stetson and themselves, and
among them was Jack Haverly, the
famous negro minstrel manager. Hav'
erly did not laugh when he heard it,
but simply looked puzzled. He thought
for @ few moments, and then a faint
smile came into his face, and he said,
"Oh, yes, see; there ain'tno such per
son as Michael Angelo"
This answer was thought good enough
to take back to Stetson, who, it was as
sumed, must have taken pains in thu
meantime to inform himself Of the his
tory of art sufficiently to understand it
What do you think, Stetson?" said hi
friend 1--WE have told Jack Haverl,
what you said about Michael Angelo
and he said, oh, see; there amt nj
such person as Michael AngeloP "
Stetson looked blank in his turn for
moment and then received his own llttl
illumination as to the humor of tn
thing. why, the ignorant old fool,
he said; "of course he ought to hav
said, There isn't any such person a
Michael Angelo"
This story again recalls another wit
! similar touch in it. The conversation