davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald., 1896-02-11

"a penny for your thoughts said Miss
Ricketts,, p,ayfully, to Mr.. Gildersleeve.
"They were worth far more than that,
Miss Ricketts," replied the young man, "for
l was thinking Of YOU
When he proposed little later, she didn't
say word about it's being SO sudden
Detroit Free Press.
The herald., 1896-02-11

little boy was taught at Sunday school
to sing the well known hymn, For Jesus
is friend Of mine" When he went home
he was asked what his teacher had taught
him he answered: why, mommer, he
taught us bully song, called, me and
Jesus Is Pals.''-San Francisco Wave.
The herald., 1896-02-11

"Now a kiss, DEAR" he said. "is noun,
We'll agree,
But common or proper. say which may it
be?"
"Well, perhaps" she replied Ito speak moth
ing lcth).
While she smiled and grew red-"Let US
say it is BOTH" London Punch.
The herald., 1896-02-11
A Descriptive Ailment

Jiggs-I hear old Bragg has the typhoon
fever
Biggs-You mean the typhoid fever. don't
you?
Jiggs-No; mean the typhoon. He GEN.
ters everything in himself. and he's all
wind.
The herald., 1896-02-11
ONE OF THE "NEW WOMEN.m

The teacher was asking questions-teach-
ers are quite apt to ask questions, and they
sometimes receive curious answers. This
question was as follows:
Nov, pupils how many months have
twenty-eight days?
"All of them, teacher replied the boy
on the front seat.
The herald., 1896-02-11
Didn't Know His Biz.

at seems to me-" said the Secretary Of
State to the Chief Executive, that we
haven't got a leg to stand upon in this
diplomatic correspondence"
Nonsense returned the Chief. "Give
'em the Monroe doctrine, and I'll chuck in
a message. What are we here for?'
The herald., 1896-02-11

Aunt Dorothy-How many command
ments are there, Johnny?
Johnny (glibly)-Ten.
Aunt Dorotiy-And now, suppose you
we're to break one of them?
Johnny Gentatively)-Then there'd bt
nine-Truth.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Observation-Disclosures? she said. "Why not!
I have a perfect right. ,osi+,+-
"And the left?" one asked her, aeSl'a;- a;
inplv n But she preserved a digniied 81
ience. deeming the question in the nature
Of a personality.
The herald., 1896-02-11
Science and FrivoIity

Old Professor Starrs-What a wonder
and a blessing to us all is the change Of
the seasons!
Miss Giddy-Yes, indeed. About the
time one gets tired of ice cream oysters
come in.
The herald., 1896-02-11

care they perennial bloomers?" he asked
of the pretty florist, as he selected some
towering plants. ...,,,u :. ~
Sir she said, Indignantly, "this is no
bicycle shop!' o+
And it took him some time to explain mat
ters.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Author-I want to say that the wind
bowled hideously all night, but I've used
that expression before, and I'd like to put
it in different shape.
Friend-say that it whistled like an office
boy.--Puck.
The herald., 1896-02-11
knew Him Too Well.

Maples-The Count is deserving of grea
credit. Don't you think so?
Kiggs-I don't know how deserving Of i
he is, but know that he gets mighty little
Of 1t at our club
The herald., 1896-02-11

"IIave you "A Heart That Aches Z? ,,,,eaie ehe
asked of the young man benina 1 nc nondsd .ne mdsiI
ohsant1v "but I've a hollow tooth that does
somathing awful."-Ally Sloper.
The herald., 1896-02-11
Judisnensable.

"You have left out an important state
ment in this rescue story" said professor
in the School of Journalism to one Of the
students.
Indeed, sir?"
"Yes. you neglect to say that the boy was
rescued just as he was going down for the
third time
The herald., 1896-02-11

"Why are you looking so serious, Bob
by?" asked the fond father.
"Thinkin' about the preacher. He went
and told US we should not covet other peo-
pes things and then tried to get all the
pennies we had"
The herald., 1896-02-11
Pot-pourris and Can-tatcrs,

There is u restaurant or dairy in New
York that keeps an orchestra to discourse
neat and appropriate music while the guests
struggle with the viands. During the busy
hours they play when the Swallows Home
ward Fly" and "Good-by, Sweet Tart, Good
by" The favorite airs with the walters are
I'VE Never Speak as We Pass Pie" and
Fare Well and Don't Forget New
York World.
The herald., 1896-02-11
Money to Burn.

Smythe-Tompkins had money to burn
when l met him to-day.
Mrs. Smythe-Then l suppose the foolish
fellow has spent it by this time.
Smythe-Yes; when l saw him he was
looking for his coal dealer
The herald., 1896-02-11

Madame" said Perry Patettic, in his
suavest manner, "have you got an cid pair
of pants you could gimme? Mems pants,
he added. hastily, as a second thought
struck him.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Though she usurps our trousers,
We do not greatly care,
Since she can now no longer say
She hasn't a thing to wear.
The herald., 1896-02-11
Good Old Soul-And what sort of girl /

Good Old Soul-And what sort Of girl is
it John is going to marry?
Nephew-Well-er-to tell you the truth,
aunt, she is a little passe.
Good Old Soul (horrifed)-A little Parsee?
Goodness, gracious! you don't mean to say
he's going to bring a black girl into the
family ALLY Sloper.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Author-What do you think of the title,
"Some Thoughts on the currency oues-
ton? :. oco,,o
Remarks on the Currency Question. "-PucK.
The herald., 1896-02-11
TI,1fsa 60

May-I hear that Mrs. Swells is going to
get divorce from her husband. Isn't that
remarkable?
Suzanne-Not so very. From whose hus-
band did you expect her to get it?
The herald., 1896-02-11
'She's to let me know at the end Of tn,
week if she accents me-"

''It must be terrible suspense"
"Rather l don't know whether to break
off my other engagement or not. t.'-Life
She-The man 1 am going to marry
Bishop, is, perhaps, a trifie dissipated, but
he has lors of money.
The Bishop-Then. my dear young lady,
we must get him into the church at once
Truth.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Willie-I was kept in to-day for throwing g
a plug of paper at another boy.
Mamma-And wasn't that perfectly just
Willie-I don't think so, mamma, when
missed the boy by foot.-Truth.
The herald., 1896-02-11

The next one will probably read. "Wher
in the course of human events it becomes
necessary for women to don boomers and
ride a bicycle" etc.
The herald., 1896-02-11
The Proper Form.

Tippie-Do you think there is anything
wrong in boomers?
Sibyl-I don't think anybody ever saw
anything wrong in mine.
The herald., 1896-02-11
RenIi.Sl
Realism.
" W., .oa,, m ha 1ar1, ,,,,,oL = Q

He-You seem to be very much affected
by the play.
She-Yes. 1t was that homelike scene
that upset me. When the woman sat down
on the -four barrel and began to peel onions
it was SO realistic l was moved to tears.
The herald., 1896-02-11
liza V1IuC.

"Nov that you've heard the poem tell
me what you think? Oughtnt 1 to get
$40 for it,
e-e-e-s. Ten dollers CT thirty days."
The herald., 1896-02-11

Didn't you say. Edgar, that you proposed
to Ethel?"
Yes, l did,"
But she told me distinctly last night that
no man had ever proposed to her."-Detroi.
Free Press
The herald., 1896-02-11
The Up-to-Date concession.

Priest lin confessionaD-W child, are
you here for Confession?
Bridget Muloahy (who reads the papers)-
OF have nothin' to say.
The herald., 1896-02-11

First Editor-Are you going to puoilsn
.hat articIe on the servant girl question
'i's second Editor-Great Scott! yes! IL was
written by a policeman.-Truth.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Bnks-She said it was no. nice for
young people to kiss unless they were en-
gagged.
Jinks-What did you do?
Binks-Disproved it.-Pck- -Me-Up.
The herald., 1896-02-11

An odd Antediluvian.
Teacher-Noah sailed forty days and
forty nights.
yachting cap.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Editor-1s there anything in your article
o,n,'t the Living Pictures" that would be
likely to offend our readers?
enorter-Nothing but the bare facts.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Trivvet-TAere is oie very queer thing
cbout the gold reserve.
Dicer-What is that?
Trivvet-The smaller it is the moe at
tention it attracts.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Miss Passay-Even Adam was not con-
tented without a wife.
Olebatch-Certainly not. That was be-
fore he knew anything of good or evil.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Young Hopeful-Why is it that the cruel
savages always eat the missionaries?
Elder Brother-Oh! well, l suppose be-
cause they know they're jolly good.-Ally
Sloper.
The herald., 1896-02-11

GLOW pity Boston peoplen,,they nave SO
little variety in their reading. .,.
"Yes-always either Emerson or JACK
md the Bean Stalk Chicago Record.
The herald., 1896-02-11

The Guv'nor (enterlng unexpectedly)-Do
I pay you, Mr.. Fullalove, to kiss my type
writer?
Fullalove-I never meant to ask you to,
The herald., 1896-02-11

"Ah, ha!'
Adam smiled significantly.
This morning we had morning. At -
we had noon. What is bound to come at
the close Of the sixth day?"
He gazed at the setting sun.
WHY, Eve, of course"
The feeling stole o'er him that one of
his ribs might be are-rib.-Pick-Me-Up
The herald., 1896-02-11

Sunday School Teacher-Why did the
whale swallow Jonah?
Little Bcy-For goin' fishing on Sunday
The herald., 1896-02-11

Dick Tait-Mss Ribbon. what is the mat
ter with your typewriter bell? 1 never hear
it any more.
Miss Ribbon (confusedly)-Oh, beg your
pardon, Mr.. TAFT; but l have borrowed it
for a day or two for my bicycle.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Teacher-Johnny, can you give US some
pleasant little thought about winter?
Johnny-Yes m; l wsht 1 had this whole
house full O. flies an 'skeeters, soze I cd
open tn winders an freeze 'em.
The herald., 1896-02-11

First Diner-They seem to have brought
us a very decent fowl this time
Second Diner--Yes; the dressing is above
reproach. Tribune.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Teacher-So, George, you were named
after George Washington, were you?
Young George-Yes' sometime after
RoXbury Gazette.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Teacher-Patsy Doolan, why are you
standing up?
Patsy-Biles, two av 'em, av yez Place
maam.-Fashions.
The herald., 1896-02-11

A prominent Sunday school teacher, wish
ing to impress upon his pupil that shame
comes of sin, put the question: "My dear
boy, why were Adam and Eve not ashamed
to be so scantily clad in the garden?"
The poy replied promptly: Because
there wasn't anybody to look at 'em, SIR"
The herald., 1896-02-11
Inter On.

Mrs. Knowoman-Will she sue for his
| hand?
Mrs. Afterdate-That is past. He will sue
for breach of promise
The herald., 1896-02-11

Ee-What is that, dear?
She-Angel food. / made it myself.
He-You'd better eat it, my dear. You're
the only angel in the house.-Boston Trans
ript.
The herald., 1896-02-11

"Why did I assume the shape of a SER
pent when I tempted Eve?" repeated the
Prince of Evil "Oh! I wished to be very
sure not to put my foot in it,
Saying which he lit a fresh cigar.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Teacher-Now, Tommy, tell us what the
index finger is.
Tommy-Yes' it's that 'un you lick
when you turn over tn pages.
The herald., 1896-02-11
Just the Reverse.

Suiteleigh-Do you treat your servant girl
as one of the family?
Hepton-No. She treats me as one Of her
family.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Teacher--Where were you yesterday?
Pupil (whimpering)-It was all Billy
Smiths fault, he hipnertised me an made
me go 6katn' with him.-Truth.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Bertie's Mamma-My dear child, the
Lord can do everything.
Bertie-He couldn't drown me. Could
The herald., 1896-02-11

she-It's a perfect poem. that supper
place, isn't it?
He-Yes, indeed-"Oh, the Wild Charge
They Maden' Pick-Me-Up.
The herald., 1896-02-11
An Explanatory Appendi

"Man must work from sun to sun,
Rut woman's work is never DONE"
For her household tasks she has to do,
And must also work her husband, too.
The herald., 1896-02-11

why" demanded the Circassian beauty,
petulantly, "do you always eat pie with a
knife?"
The sword swallower glared at her in
dgnantly.
"To take the taste out of my mouth, of
course" he retorted, and all was STILL
Detroit News
The herald., 1896-02-11

One Cannibal-Tal1 about your civiliza-
tion-why, they've just burned some people
in Kentucky!
Another Cannibal-Pshaw! What sort Of
cooks have they got over there anyway,
wonder.-Detroit Tribune.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Berties Mamma-Of course He could.
Bertie-Well, l don't see how He could
if l never went bathing or fishing and al
ways stayed on dry Manifestations.
The herald., 1896-02-11

She Gust kssed)-How dare you, sir?
He-I hope you will pardon me. I didn't
think.
She-Think. OF course you didn't think.
But your inability to think is no excuse for
your conduct. l suppose you mean to tell
me that if you had stopped to think you
would not have wanted to kiss me.
The herald., 1896-02-11

''When was your age never told lie,
Tommy"
when did you begin. auntie?'-AllY
Sloper.
The herald., 1896-02-11
ChOlly's Pull,

My tailor bows to social laws,
And, as I'm in the swim,
He gives me credit just because
I'm a credit, sir, to him!
The herald., 1896-02-11

This is peculiarly intelligent dog, my
friends l have been accustomed to feed
him out of the left hand and yesterday l
crossed my arms and
The herald., 1896-02-11

He-Do you believe in bread and cheese
and kisses?
She-It depends upon the cheese.-Pick-
Me-Up.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Bookseller-Yes. there are collectors of
almost every kind Of books. Some of them
collect old almanacs.
Customer--Ah! l see-ioke writer's.
The herald., 1896-02-11

Father-Why did you permit young Mash
man to kiss you in the parlor last night?
DauGhter-Because l was afraid he would
catch cold in the hal.-Brooklyn Life.
The herald., 1896-02-11

All he esked was little kiss.
But her manner on the whole,
Was such that he never stopped until he got
A regular Net ersoe Detroit Tribune.
The herald., 1896-02-11
(au,ffe Cn.

Quite So.
Banks-Soak is like haunted house.
TankG-How so?
Banks-Full of spirits.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Mysterious Murder Case.

New York, May 15.-The body OF a
woman was found floating in the lowe,
bay by John Gristom, a fisherman. He
found that there were many bruises OF
il, and that a handkerchief had been
tied tightly across the mouth. Nothing
was found on the body that gave a clew
to its identity. The body was too badly
dccomposed 10 permit of description
cf the features. An autopsy showed
that the whole OF the woman's breast
was black and blue, the result of being
struck With club or some other heavy
object. A stab wound was found on the
right side OF the neck. and there was
also another stab wound on the I1gh,
leg, near the thigh. The autopsy re-.
yealed tho fact that the woman was dead
before she was thrown in the water
Death resulted from strangulation,
caused by the handkerchief around her
mouth and nose choking her.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
HEARTILY ENDORSED.
President Cleveland Pleased at Work
of Arbitration Congress.

Washington, May 1.-THE president
yesterday gave an interview to Gar
diner @. Hubbard and j. l.. M. Curry.
minister to Spain under Mr. Cleveland's
former administration, who, with ex-
Senator Edmunds. President Angle Of
Michigan university and Henry Hitch
cock Of Missouri were appointed com.
mittee at the noteworthy conference to
promote international arbitration, held
In Washington on April 20 and 2S, to
present 10 the president memorial
urging that such steps be taken on the
part of the United States as would con-
duce to the accomplishment of the end
the conference had IN view.
The memorial having been prepared
and signed, II was presented yesterday
to the president by Messrs. Hubbard
and Curry. The interview, IL is stated,
was most pleasant and satisfactory, and
cordial interchange OF opinions took
place. The president said the confer
ence was gratifying exhibition OF a
wide public sentiment in favor Of arbi-
tration. and he had been surprised that
such an assemblage OF men could have
been brought together from remote dis.
tances to give expression to their opin-
ions. 1t showed the magnitude OF the
subject, and the profound interest they
felt in IL.
He read the resolutions as published at
the time the conference was in session,
and was much pleased with them. In
his message he had given utterance 10
his own Views. and was glad to have
them sustained by the conference Any
agreement 70 arbitrate, he added, must
be brought about by treaty between
the nations so agreeing. What had been
said concerning the ties which should
hind together the English-speaking
peoples had great force, and IT was i'm
K. possible to over-estimate the potency
and beneficial influence of concerted ef-
fort for peace by these two peoples. He
hoped the friends of arbitration would
continue TO educate the people alons
the lines indicated, and said they would
have his cheerful cooperation.
The committee explained that the me-
morialists had abstained from going
into any details OF plan OF arbitration,
although they might be willing so TO do
at proper time il IL would be agree
able TO the executive, with whom, OF
course. must rest the initiative in all
steps looking TO treaty regulations. The
conference had studiously sought In the
resolutions to avoid any expression that
would embarrass the administration In
the conduct OF pending diplomatic ques-
tions, and q committee had called on
Secretary Olney in advance of the con-
ference and submitted TO him the sub
stance of the resolutions which were
likely TO be adopted
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
VIII stlnl, TO Nominee.

Pueblo. Colo, Nay l5.--The following
telegram from Senator wolcott has been
tcceived by iioa. j. r Sanders: Il am
very grateful to all my good friends in
Colorado fer thcir- unsolicited desire to
send me to the national convention. and
for their kindness TO me in the past. I
understand there " opposition To elect
ing me as delegate. am too good a
Republican 10 wish to create any iivis-
ion i~my party In Colorado. and am to,
much concerned for the success OF bl
metalllsm and the great principles OF
the Republican party 20 do so under
these circumstances. therefore de-
saias TO permit my name to be con-
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Looking out For ElhIns.

Clarksburg. w. Va, May 15.-At tho
Republican state convention yesterday,
l.. w. Morris was elected permanent
chairman. Morris. In his speech. pre-
dicted the election of Mckinley In Mo-
vember. and named s. B. Elkins as the
man for presidentiE 1900. He expressed
himself as confident that West Virginia
will give the Republicans a majority OF
10000 this year. He said that the tim
Der and minerals of West Virginia de-
mand protection. The committee on
resolutions. in its report, made demand
for a return 10 protection. denounced the
issue of bonds by the government, de-
manded sound money. and that Ameri.
can labor be protected by the enforce
ment of the immigration laws. The
convention expressed its sympathy for
the Cubans, and advised that they be
recognized as 6eligerents. Messrs.
Dana, White, Reynolds and Hardman
were elected delegatos-at-large TO st.
Louis. Alternates elected were Messrs.
Duval, Thomas, Hurst and Potion
barger. All are for Mckinley, and were
Instructed by resolution for him.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
REFRIGERATORS.
TWO YEARS SUSPENSION.
Sentence Pronounced Upon Rev. Samuel
Fuller by Ecclesiastics.

Boston, May 15.-The decision in the
ecclesiastical trial of Rev. Samuel r.
Fuller OF Maiden, who was recently tried
for violating the canonical law OF his
church, by being divorced. and three
years afterward marrying Miss Lucy
Derby or this city, was rendered at q
special meeting In St Paul's church
here, and resulted in the suspension OF
Mr.. Fuller for two years The defendant
was notified by Bishop Lawrence to be
present at St Paul's church, when the
decision Upon the verdict would be rem.
dered. Mr.. Fuller. accompanied by his
wife. obeyed the summons. and found
the bishop and Revs. w. H. Brooks
Reuben Kianer and MIR. Shields. the
three necessary witnesses, in waiting.
The formalities were opened with the
singing of a hymn and the Offering Of a
prayer. after which Mr.. Fullers name
was called. In response, he stepped for
ward. with Mrs Fuller, TO the chancel
rail. Bishop Lawrence then read a de-
tailed review of the case, concluding
with the announcement OF his decision
upholdlng the verdict Of the court. and
giving the respondent time in which to
show that he had not violated the
church law es charged, he TO be sus-
pended in the meantime In answer,
Mr.. Fuller read his statement OF the
case in a dignified manner, protesting
against the decision.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Day state Legislature.

Boston, May l5.--The house OF re,re.
sentativcs, by a vote OF iOl 10 IS passed
the whitney gas bill, also termed tn,
pipeline gas bill. The debate was very
spirited. and many amendments were
made, nearly all OF which failed to re
ceive Incorporation into the bill Amort
the amendments TO the original bill
which secured passage were these
Placing the entire matter under th,
power OF the gas commissioners; q
allow the use of fuel gas without chirl
ney or hue; placing the matter Of prize
with the commissioners
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Mrs. Brin,serhofr the Donor.

New York. May 15-Barnard college
(for women) having secured 100000
required TO secure gift OF 800 900. ten
dered by person who preferred TO re-
main unknown until assured that tho
conditions Of the gift were TO be realized,
the name of the donor was made public
yesterday Barnard's benefactor is the
widow OF the late Van Wyck Brinker-
hoff. and the gift is for the erection OF q
building, as a memorial 10 her late hus-
band, and her father, William II. Hoople.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Chamberlain Crawling ou,.

Cape Town. May 15.--A long dispatch
from Colonial Secretary Chamberlain 70
Governor Robinson, in reply to Presi-
dent Kruger's complaint at the attitude
OF the British government toward Cecil
Rhodes and the Chartered South Africa
company, deprecates hasty and imma-
ture judgment founded on abbreviated
reports of parliamentary debate. He
repudiates on behalf Of the government
any sympathy with csctt Rhodes or WITH
others who may hereafter be proved t.
have been connected with the Jameson
raid
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Prosperous Cotton MINIS.

Greenville. N. H., May 15.-WhitC
Bros. of Winchendon, Mass. have de.
c!ded not to shut down their cotton mills
OF East Jaffrey and at Winchendon
Fairly last month they decided to clost
Il ese mills as soon as the supply Of cot
ton would be consumed. There was on
hand at the time finished goods valucd
at S250,000. which have since been dis.
posed OF, last weeks sales being enor
NOUS. a supply of cotts - vii! be i'm
medlately bought and - operatives
are sure of steady employment Tor tht
xt year. These mills have not beer
shut down in 20 years.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Foster Was Elected.

Baton Rouge. La. May 15.-The two
houses, In joint session yesterday, re-
coived the returns Of the elections for
state officers. and tellers were appoint
ed. A protest was presented from j. N.
Pharr. fusion candidate for governor,
against the returns Of the election as
tabulated. The protest was lengthy.
After it had been made, a motion was
adopted that the protest be laid on the
table and the count proceeded with. re-
sulting In the declaration that the en-
tire Democratic state ticket. headed by
NJ. ]. Foster for governor is elected.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-05-15
Switched over to Mckinley.

Washington. May i5.-Senator- elect
Wellington Of Maryland has given up
the fight for Reed. He formally an
nounced that at least IA. and probably
the entire Maryland delegation, would
vote for Mckinley. Although he had
succeeded in preventing the delegates
from being instructed, he said there was
no doubt that the sentiment of the Re
publicans Of Maryland was for McKir-
ley. and that there was nothing to hs
gained by holding out longer against t.s
popular will