Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-08-31
The Family Scamp.

Chicago News.
Have you a scamp in your fam.ly?"
asked Maud blardly.
/ became On the instant wildly con-
sc.ous OF my uncle's 81 psOn who robbed
a bank and called up an expression Of
lofty and yiTtucus Indignation.
II was On the corner o. Elm street,
and / mad just witnessed an apparently
affecLcrate parting be.wa5n Maud and
s.X fest CT br02d-shOuldersd, bald
headed. weil-Jurned-Cut humanity, who
Hf-si mis- hat as ne turned up JAe drive
with The air c. a highly respectable
duke.
"C,h. YOU needn': look 50 indignant"
pursued Maud.
Why, how did you know inquir-
ed.
Know what?'
why. abou. Uncle johns wife's-'
Bless your heart, my dear girl, l
didn't know. l only said you ueedn' I
lcck injured, because I'm perfectly GER
tain on general principles Jhat you have
q scamp in the family. Every family
has at least one. We have two. That
was one Of them who just went up the
drive. The Otler,' pensiyely, rs no.
so good looking
l informed Maud that her cylic.sm
was scandalOus and drew an awful PIC
ure OF the possible results If her re
marks were 70 be repeated 10 her uncle,
the bank president, or her cousin, VINO
married the English baronet.
MY good child she s2,d calmly, / m
no. cynical. I'm simply end-ci-the-
century. Is Il possible that you are 50
b=hind the times as not 10 know that
one talks now about ones family scamps
and skeletons? It's no longer good
form 10 ignore them. It's the proper
thing 10 discuss them from every point
Of view.
And why not? Nobody's to blame
fer bsing wicked nowadays. There are
pathological reasons, you know, for
every form Of iniQuIty. II you murder
YOUR grandfather Or emb5zzle the funds
If a sock company or forge your en-
powers name or cope with your Neigh
lcr's wife thsre's nothing especially dis
graceful abou, f any more. lis unfor-
uraae and much 10 be deplored, but II 5
net disgracciul. Oh, Io, You have a
'corgenijal moral ob,.Qu!ty, that's all!
And your people openly lament your
unfortunate tendencies.
All the doors Of all the skeleton cup
boards are thrown wids open wiph q
smile. and the allenis,s and specialists
In mfn,al and moral and nervous pecull-
ar.tiss are invited tC rummage at Will
nc. only invited but urged. II one must
he AFFLICTED with q son or a brother or
cousin or an uncle or nephew VINO
steals. how much PleaSanteT 10 speak IN
ordinary fearless C0nverSaGenal lo'iieS
of a 'cOngsni,al ob,iqu.ty of moral VIZ
ion than 10 whisper Shamefacedly OF
common everyday th.eying! o. course,
rl- law still occasionally uses the less
euDhca. ous term and takes a disagree
ABLY stern view Of poor dear Harry or
GEORGES little weaknesses, but then we
CA, console ourselves with the knOwl-
ei-s that it's not always practicable %
hive these thiags thoroughly explained
IN court Won know. And is very often
p--s,hle 10 keep the family scamp out
er ccrr.. K can usually be done if che
f1mly'5 criy willing 10 pay up at moro
or less frequent Intervals.
people differ 80 in the way they
.oke things. Or, perhaps. it's MOI so
much the people who differ as tho Zines
and .he treatment. You know wo don q
tqka chicken poX or whooping cough or
scarlet fever 50 hard as We uHrd To, ana
rho modern way OF taking tcampa 10
N -gke hem easily. There atc sull
s--ne old-gaShioned families leu who
take than hard, ana ours is onc Of them.