The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-06
VOLUME XIX.

M most Staid and dlgnlned cltl-
40 zens Of Parlor City. He never
drinks, he never smokes, and 1t Is his
firm conviction that Hades is yawning
for every man, woman, and child that
plays cards. He Is 4 pillar of the local
Methodist Church, has publicly de
nounced dancing as an invention OF the
devil, progressive euchre and pedro
parties as creased poles to the realm OF
Satan. and trolley parties as an even
more sinful diversion than any of the
other forms of amusement to which he
10 opposed. One might imagine from
this that Mr.. James Inch was an I'M
popular man in Parlor City. Such,
however, is not the case. The inhab-
itants point him out to strangers as
their model citizen, and can't say
enough in praise of him. That Is be-
cause Mr.. Inch is a sterling business
man, and so generous and charitable
that his fellow townsmen are willing
to overlook his radical views on things
in the amusement line.
MFR. Inch had an experience some
weeks ago that came pretty near
knocking down with one blow the
splendid reputation he has built up for
himself In Parlor City. II was a most
unfortunate experience for Mr.. Inch,
but it provided amusement for his fell
low citizens for days afterwards, and
some of them are not through laughing
yet.
One bright sunny morning early in
August Mr.. Inch boarded a train bound
for Parl0r City at a small
way station some twenty miles
from his home. He had gone
out there the night before on bust,
ness, had missed the last train back,
and a night on a corn husk mattress in
the local tavern had rutiled him about
as much as he had ever been rufiied in
his life. Mr.. Inch had not been In the
train five minutes when he heard a
%frightful racket In the car behind him.
and on inquiring Of the conductor what
it meant was told that both of the rear
cars were full Of lunatics who were be-
ing transferred from New York to the
lor City.
They're In charge OF keepers. ell
right" said the conductor, but they
get excited every now and then, and
tell you the keepers have their hands
full. Lor! but they do cursei"
DO you suppose I could 90 look at
themT' asked Mr.. inch, who immedi.
etely made up his mind that it was his
duty as a Christian man to go and
speak q few words Of admonltion to
these men.
Dunno" was the conductors laconic
response. You'll have to ask the
keepera."
Mr.. Inch rose from his seat and start
ed back. He decided that he would no
ask permission to do what was his
plain duty. He felt that the keepers
would refuse him admission to the car,
so he made up his mind to slide in IN
= observed, take a seat. and watch his
chance 10 distribute advice to the IN
fortunate. 1t was not a difficult piece
Of work, as the keepers were pretty
busy when Mr.. Inch opened the door
and walked in. and they didn't notice
him at all. He gradually worked his
way to the middle of the car unnotIced
in the bowling crowd of wild-eyed men,
and ~ensconced himself In a seat beside
o red-headed individual who was
swinging his arms round in mos reck-
less fashion and singing in a shriU
voice:
This Is my story, this is my song,
Pralsing the Savior all the day long
Over and over again the a sang
the couplet, sandwiching 1t with strings
of oaths, which sent chills chasing each
other up and down Mr.. Inch's spinal
column. He attempted to talk with
the man, but he might as well have
tried to with a log of wood.
Others with whom he started converse
tons looked at him SC blankly that he
soon realized 1t was a hopeless task,
and settling down in his seat. he re-
solved to say no more.
When we get to Parlor City," he
figured to himself, "Ill just walt until
they get this crew out of the car, and
then I'll go out myself and go home"
Mr.. Inch's resolution was the result
of a little speculation as to what would
happen to him II the keepers discov-
cred that he had entered the car and
mingled with this crew Of violent and
irresponsible men.
At the station in Parlor City on the
same morning that Mr.. Inch boarded
the train twenty miles away stood If
teen keepers from the State asylum
waiting for the consignment of luna
tics from New York. With them was
young DR.. Blank, on whose shoulders
rested the responsibility for the safe
transportation OF the lunatics from
the station to the asylum. DR.. Blank
was worried. 1t was the first expedi-
tion OF this kind he had commanded,
and he was nightly afraid that some
thing would go wrong. Only a month
before he had received his appointment
to the asylum. and escape or revolt due
TO lack of proper precautions would, he
knew, mean the loss Of his place. He
was relieved when the train rolled In
and a keeper jumped from the steps OF
a car, touched his hat and announced
that all was well.
"A hundred altogether, / believe"
the doctor remarked.
Yves, sir; fifty In each car" said the
keeper.
well. march them out as soon as
you cau," said DIR. Blank, and he
hauled out a notebook and prepared to
check of the men as they were hand
ed over to his keepers.
! They took the last car first, and DR..
Blank drew a deep breath of relief
wiIen the Gftieth man stepped to the
platform.
Now for the other car" he said,
cheerily, and the keepers commenced