Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-06-21
In June (After Nora Perry.)

So loud SO loud, the thrushes keep their
calling;
Plover or blackbirds never needing us;
So loud the mill stream, too, now fretting,
falling,
With din enough to make preacher cuss.
So loud, so loud, yet blackbird, thrush nor
plover,
Nor noisy mill stream as it frets and
rants,
Can drown the voice. the low voice Of my
Nothin can drown that, but his new plaid
pants!
Old Dick Rodney had a very narrow
escape from book agent lately. Four
young mothers, with babies of exactly the
same size and age, had called on Mrs. Rod
ney, bringing their babies with them, and
it was impossible to tell the sweet things
apart. Mrs. Rodney had taken her guests
out to show them her flowers, leaving Old
Dick to mind the babies, and he had all the
little ones on the bed, and was engaged in
romp with the infants when book agent
darkened the doorway. The agent glared
at the infants and backing out of the door
remarked: II had intended Offering you
the chance of a life time-an opportunity TO
purchase the only authentic work of the
great Doctor Bolus, in seventeen volumes,
half calf, tree calf, or cloth binding, gilt
edge, fooled back and sides, with forty-two
half tone engrayings, at the unprecedented
ly low price of So per volume; but after
gazing ON this domestic scene, just two
minutes by my gold watch and chain, 1
am of the opinion, sub, that the best thing
that can happen to you is to be struck with
a neutrality-suspicious. of lightning and
a thunderbolt red with uncommon wrath"
and the agent hastily made his exit, leaving
old Dick deeply mystifed as to his strange
conduct.
The dean of Rochester says that in his
opinion the pleasure of cycling as compared
to the harm is as Niagara to a lemonade.
If the head of the dean of Rochester is as
level ON every other subject as on this he
ought to be dean of bigger place than
Rochester; fact is, we are for him for
mayor of Buffalo.
Rather an extravagant compliment was
paid one of our plump, coquettish damsels
by an admiring swain at the picnic the
other day. This girl has foot beautiful in
it's lines and noted for its Cinderella size.
Passing over a moist place in a shady path
there was left clear outline of her dainty
foot in the yielding soil. John bumped
himself over the track and gaZed at it with
admring eyes. Lord" he says, faint 1
sorry that I've done quit eatin' dirt"
Many people nave very SiduOWy
defined ideas of the terms gentleman"
and lady" and what it takes to consti-
tute either. The colored people especially
are very liberal in clubbing all of the bru-
nette complexion with these complimentary
titles. An old-time southern planter was
called to his door recently by crack
heeled, splay-footed, kinky-headed negress.
who asked the planter to TELL dat white
woman in de house dat dar wuz a cullud
lady out dar what wanted to see her."
Bunk Sandlin was explaining the Bible
to his class of boys in Texas, and he thus
disposed of Samson's combat with the lion:
want ter know how Samps euchered
that old cougar (Mexican lion), do yer?
Simplest thing jevver see! He just waltzed
up to the old roarer, made feint at biting
him on the snoot, and when the old snoozef
lodged and opened his mouth why Samps
just nacchully got holt on his tongue, and
bracin' his foot agin mesquite root he
pulled like bay steer, and putty soon the
tongue begun ter give and the lions tail to
shorten, and directly out the whole ar
rangement cum in a long string"
WELLINGTON VANDIVER.
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