Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1896-01-10
THE CYCLOPEEDY.

Havin lived next door to the Hobart
place fer goin on 30 years, Gale late that
l know jest about ez much about the case
ez anybody else now on airth, oxceptin,
perhaps it's ole ledge Baker, N he's SO
plaguy ole N so powerful feeble that he
don't know nothin.
1t seems that in the spring NV 1S47--
the year that Cy Watson's Oldest boy wuz
drowned in West river-there come along
book agent sellin vulyumes n tracks fer
the diffusion NV knowledge, N havin got
the recommend Nv the minister n NV the
selectmen he done an all fired big business
in our part NV the county. His name wuz
Lemuel Higgins, n he wuz ez likely a
talker or l ever heerd, barrin Lawyer
Conkey, N everybody allowed that when
Conkey wuz round he talked so fast that
the town pump'd have to be creased every
90 minutes.
One NV the first Nv our folks that this
Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Leander Ho-
bart Leander had jest marr'd one NV the
Peasloy girls n had moved into the ole
homestead on the Plainville road, ole
Deacon Hobart havin give up the place to
him, the other boys havin moved out west.
like a lot Nv darned fools that they wuzl
Leander wuz feelin his oats jest about this
time, N nuthin wuz too good fer him.
Hattie, F." SEE he, Il guess I'll have to
lay in a few books fer readin in the winter
time, N I've notion to subscribe fer a
cyclopeedy. Mr.. Higgins here says they're
invalerable in a family, n that we orter
have 'em, bein as how we're likely to have
the 'ly bimeby."
"Lor's sakes, Leander, how you talk"
sez Hattie, blushin all over, ez brides allus
does to heern tell NV SIGH things
WAL to make long story short, Lean
der bargained with Mr.. Higgins fer a set
NV them cyclopeedies, n he signed his
name to long printed paper that showed
how he agreed to take a oyclopeedy oncet
in so often, which wuz to be or often ez a
new one NV tho volyumes wuz printed. A
cyolopeedy isn't printed all at oncet, be-
cause that would make it cost too much,
consistently the man that gets it up has it
strung along fur apart, so as to hit folks
oncet every year or two, N gin'rally
about harvest time So Leander kind NV
liked the idoe, n he signed the printed
paper n made his affidavit to it afore
Jedge Warner.
The fust volyume NV tho Cyclopeedy
the settin room about four months before
they had any use fer it. One night Squire
Turner's son come over to visit Leander
n Hattie, N they got to talkin about
apples n the sort Nv apples that wuz the
best. Leander allowed that tho Rhode
Island Greenin wuz the best, but Hattie
N the Turner boy stuck up fer the Rox-
bury Russell until at last happy ideo
struck Leander, n, SEE no: We'll leave it
to the Cyclopeedy, b'gosh Whichever one
the cyolopeedy SEE is the best will settle it."
but you can't find out nothin bout
Roxbury Russets nor Rhode Island Green
ins in our cyclopeedy," SEE Hattie.
why not I'd like to know" seq Lean
der, kind Nv indignantlike.
"'Cause ours hain't got down to the II
yet, :" SEE Hattie. An ours tells about is
things beginnin with A."
well, amt we talkin about applesY"
SCI Loander. You aggervate me terrible,
Hattie, by insistin on KNOWN what you
don't know nothin bout"
Leander went to the seckertary N took
down the cyclopeedy n hunted all through
it fer apples, but all he could find wuz,
"Apple--see pomology."
"How in thunder kin SEQ pomology,"
SEE Leander, when there amt no pomol-
ogy to see? Col durn "a cyclopeedy any
howl
N he put tho vOlyumo back on to the
shelf n never sot eyes into it agin.
That's the way the thing run fer years
n years. Lcander would've gin up tho
plaguy bargain, but no couldn't. He had
signed printed paper N had sworo to it
afore justice of the peace Higgins
would have had the law on him If no had
throwed up the trade.
The most aggervatin feature NV it all
wuz that a new one NV them cussid CYCLIC
peedies wuz allus sure to show up at tho
wrong time-when Leander wuz hard up
or had jest been afflicted some way or
other. His barn burned down two nights
afore the volyume containin the letter b
arrived, N Leander needed all his chink
to pay fer lumber, but Higgins sot back
on that affidavit n defed the life out NV
him.
Never mind, Leander," SEE his wife,
soothin'li like; tits a good book to have in
the house anyhow, now that we've got
baby"
That's so, SEE Leander. Babies does
begin with b. don't it?"
Won GOO tbpir fnct bob,, bod boo,, k,,-