The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-09-13
UNIQUE HISTORY OF THE RECENT
ENGAGEMENT PREPARED
THE GIANT.
WHO STANDS AT THE DEPOT.
HE GOT THE VISITORS FIRST AND
BADE THEM GODsPEED.
LAST.
VINO Made Life u Burden, Noted by
the Cerberus of the City
Gate.


| Always on CALI he of Herculean
frame, who represents the metropolitan
police force at the union depot, has
had seven nights of blissful sIumber
since the close Of the Grand Army en-
| campment
| POOR Andy! He needed them He. with
MS Fellow policemen, was on hand from
early until late, but somehow Andy got
the worst of it, although he says he
would not take months pay for the
Iun he had out of it. Depot Master
Jim Farrell says Andy will soon write
a book upon the "Damphoolishness of
the Travelling Public" drawing his
data therefor from the multiplicity
OF incidents which befel him during the
rush. The big policeman has already
prepared some Of his data, and his
diary, which he kept daily, will fur
n1sh the material for the rest of it. It
looks now as If the work. unabridged
and unexpurged, would fill two vol
umes.
Andys diary is marvel which Bill
Nye In his most halcyon days would
nave read with envy. In the book
Anoy wrote just as he would talk, and
II you ever hear the big fellow in his
curp stone dissertations upon folks in
general and people in particular, YOU
would appreciate the simple pathos of
that diary 1t is big book, written
with freight clerks big pencil in a
DIG hand~ The author of the diary has
not yet had the same copyrighted. and
II the q b prints a few excerpts
therefor, Andy will have no recourse
but to kick himself for leaving the
precious book where it could be easily
found. It's too rich to hide away be-
tween the two covers which conceal
/ its wealth of Irish humor. Take y
sample for instance.
! Monday, Aug. Blast night 7 had
the last nights sleep 1 will have until
[ have another one I do not know
When that will be, but it will come off
some time in about seven days. The
! encampment is nearly here, and when
1t comes, L am sorry for poor-Andy. In
anticipation of this approaching caIam-
| 1ty, l have ordered six quarts of oil
for my jaws, and two pairs of felt
ooots, Tor L expect by the time the
/ thlng is over l will want to do a little
kicking myself. The chief said TODAY
that | must not lose my temper. NO
matter what is said to me or how many
| women ask me what time the O'Clock
train leaves He says must tell them
| that the 6 O'Clock train leaves at $50
On, mister! So the chief expects that
train to be ahead of time. 1 expect
the crowd will be coming in by after
noon, ana that children and babies will
! start losing themselves lust after sun
set. | am going to let Jimmie Farrell
| look after the babies; he don't have TO
| bend over so far being closer to the
| ground than I am.
Tuesday, Sept. 1.-The arrival of the
! q. A. r. has commenced. A man once
told me that G. A. r. stood for Going
After Refreshments, but that man be-
longed to the Confederate army
| l told the chief today I was stuck on
me job, but I lied People seem to
MINK policeman is a conglomeration
| of universal knowledge walking time
table, city directory, errand bow
nursing maid, ticket agent. and q
| bunch of hay into which thew can
stick their parasols when they feel like
| swearing. Now listen to this would
you This noon a weakened faced
spawned, bow-legged, bald headed old
man who must have come from Ne
braska, came up to me and with tears
| In his lamps, said:
Are you a policeman" I suppose
ne thought by my uniform I was a let
ter carrier or worse than that I said
TO him, Il am that same. What can
you do for me?" At which the old g,1v
batted his lamps and asked me this:
| what time is that train that goes out
| after the next one?" Oh my, oh nv.
Just think of that now I thought the
OLD BOY was guying me, but he was
| aot. L was dazed like, and me knees
| trembled. Jimmie Farrell took TO
| laughing and had to turn my back
to the old boy, but he lodged around
again, and had me dead to rights. 81
| say Mister Policeman, what time fs
that train after the next one?" T
choked down me sobs and replied the
best | could, THE train went out be-
fore the other one. SO this is the next
one. He never tumbled, but said with
a Nebraska smile of happiness
Thanks, I am so glad it was not this
one" | am sorry / did not have me
felt boots on.
Wednesday, Sept 2.-Me and the sun
turned out at the same time this
morning. 1 got UP early to oil me
! jaws.
Talk about your talking, I'll bet five
brass buttons to a can of beer talked
more yesterday than I have talked in
the last five years, all put into one
/ phonegraf Listen to me voice Tts
ruined Yesterday I tried to come the
deaf and dumb act but the sergeant
caught me at it, and sent a real deaf
and dumb man over to me- and l lost
me head trying to tell him I was also
an oyster and yelled at him, "I am
deaf and dumb, can't you hear me-
Then the sergeant gave me the gee.
and kept whole string of damphools
! coming my way the rest of the after
noon. My jaw is swollen worse than
lock-jaw. ] got back at Farrell today
1 A woman with six months old kid
asked me If there was public nurse
/ in the building, and I told her that
! short, fat man with blue uniform
on was the depot nurse. 1t was Jimmy
! I was talking about. So over to Jimmie
| she goes and 1 watches him. l don't
! know what she said to him, but Jimmie
he turned as red as the bricks on the
outside of the depot, and all the old
ladies around him laughed. I guess
| Jimmie was onto me, for / got it in the
neck later in the day. I saw him talk
ing to a North Dakota farmer, judg-
| ing from the alkali on his mits Soon
the granger comes over to me and
says: 'I want to know if this is the
depot that goes to Chicago?" Think of
that now. Is this the depot that goes
to Chicago? / told him the rules would
not let me tell him, as he was no tax
payer, but that Nash over in the ticket
office, might be able to tell him. So
over to Nash the granger goes and
could see by the expression on Nash,s
face that he, wanted to lay down and
roll over. Soon the old boy comes over
and tells me the depot was off the
track, and would not go until the next
day." Think of that in the Ninteenth
century. Two more days Of this and I
| will be in the daffy-house. The big
parade was this morning. / was in the
push. / was glad to get out for a
/ time as me voice is as weak as a kids
I never saw SO many people before in