The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-01-08

now glad am to receive your welcome letter
ol ms A. NJ would not go 10 simpsons meet
ing inns morning, for thought sure l would
near from you. am disappointed, of course,
mat you could not see B. But 1 believe he
4Voios you on purpose. and will explain why
L think so. The day you left here at ) P. NJ /
received letter from Lou telling me of her
interview with B. She said that he seemed al
together changed toward me q copy her
"oFqsl, and that he told her he had noble,
good, dear wife and every one who knew her
knew that TO be true. Asked her if was keep
ing company with any one. She replied az
am surprised that You ask me such ques-
non" Then she said Gle tried to make me
oeleve he felt sorry" Then she went on 10
say that 10 be frank with me, she mad good
reasons TO believe he regretted everything
Seld she believed there was a great weakness
some place.
We'll, if you can, imagine the blow l received
III me knowledge that my worst fears were
realized. And so I have waited report from
YOU and know by his actions that he wished to
AVOID an interview concerning me. Now Won
no doubt think that l ought with patience 10
resign myself to this, snd perhaps be thankful
II ne no longer suffers on my account On the
contrary, my heart is filed with rebellion that
should oe so played with, then scorned. And
the end is not vet.
There is a Tragedy ahead. My heart is hard.
ened, and he shall pay dearly for the past
Don De alarmed. To put him to the test i'm
medlateiy wrote him for a small sum and he
refused TO send il TO me. Had I received it
shoutu be IN san Francisco by this time, but 1
can arrange otherwise, and will do so. You
nave SPOKEN TO me about my spiritual change,
/ IN lv
mat the ouenSe came through him
When went to their house | was eniovinp
the sweet presence OF the Holy Spirit, and as
my memory lilies back TO the gradual Welding
OF myself 10 his magnetism, know that lost
thereby that communion which had so filed
my soul. May God forgive him He has re-
penied OF the love in his heart for me; has
Deen forgiven IN his home, and fancles he is
now pleasing God and living right before
him; while l, his victim, can take the blow
and Keep silent. he only knows one-half OF
IN I hows l. r
know that You viii grieYe at this letter and
pray mat may be softened; but pray that l
may be used as an instrument TO right a
wrong. Oh, think of such men standing be-
lore the people, pointing out the right path,
pIeaulng Tor virtue, equity, righteousness,
posing as models, teaching morals. It makes
me SICK, and L loathe 1t with all my heart.
lie shall help me constantly in the future
toward an education. That viii be the price
OF silence, and care for no consequences for
mEself-he has ruined nv life: the last man
me crazy, but am not; and as have one
10 lax 10 must open my heart TO you. have
suffered keenly and found no relief. Now
VIII tell you what have considered. want
very much to study kindergarten and wish
you would go to Mrs. Cooper OF Miss Stoyal, on
Nlnlh or Tenth street, think; nave forgot
ten. 1 put IN my application Tor this years
study. Ascertain the day must be there.
VIII i've al DR.. BIS, and II ooJecuons are
made he can pay my expenses elsewhere, or II
You are disguised with me let II all pass and
forget me. l shall be sorry TO lose the only
true lE-buQ ever nAu- j KNOW Nbu " III 1luI
approve OF my course: IL VIII be that or worse.
shall write again Tor enough money for my
trip, never limiting what IL Is tor. ! perhaps
VIII arrive there somewhere about the LIST OF
July. So we meet again there; perhaps you
can convince me OF the error OF my way. But
can You imagine what feel?
am glad OF your interview with Mrs. B.
Have received TWO letters from her since you
left. We are all we'll. The description of your
trip is lovely. I will soon prove its beauties.
Mother Is at church with Addie and Rose, so
they have not yet seen your letter. Lou sent
her love in her last letter. They are 70 leave
Nickel very soon for ogden or Salt Lake. The
boys are vel and as usual Papa has not been
so well lately; has a cold. The mountains
have looked lovely ever since YOU left, but
in discord with everything and my mind
Is only on one thing. Give my love TO Jennie
and grandma. No doubt they are glad to have
you back. I have missed you badly and hope
TO see you again soon. Do not hint TO any one
that ! am coming back there. Let us keep the
secret until time 10 act You Will not fail me,
know. / am in no mood for failure. With
love ana lots OF il, am, as ever, yours.
MATTE.