Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-11-05
IN AUTUMN.
IN AUTUMN.
The poets lot would happier be
If he could sometimes turn is
Attention from the thoughts that burn
To firing up the furnace.
-WaShinrtOn Star,


Attention from the thoughts that burn
Washington Star.
1t is always we'll to be on the safe
side, especially when DESTROYS of partak-
ing of edibIes that are at all apt to be
uncertain. The Washington Star tells
a good story of an old lady who applied
at an employment office for a maid. She
said: Il want little girl between ten
and fourteen years Of age who is fond of
mushrooms Fond of mushrooms!' in
quired the employment agent; THAT is
something l never inquired about of ap,
picants. | don't understand We'll, I
always require it, replied the old lady.
Il am very fond Of mushrooms myself,
and there are SO many mistakes made.
The idea came to me several years ago,
and it was a dispensation of providence
that it did or / would have been killed.
| have my maid eat a portion of all
mushrooms brought to the house before
they are served to me. | have lost two
excellent maids from toadstOols during
the last five years, and of course | could
not think of taking the chances of eat
ing mushrooms unless [ have maid to
test Them
Possibly clerks who occupy subordinate
positions in public Offices and perform
hard work for small pay should be ex-
cuscd for a tendency toward "cranki-
ness but it is not for those who have
been the victims of such "crankiness'' to
feel sorry when the tables are turned.
The New York Commercial Advertiser
tells of how one clerk at the registry Of
flee in a postal substation, woman,
received a Roland for her Oliver. An
irascible man entered the substation ex-
actly at 4 O'Clock, and, approaching the
moneyorder desk, politely requested the
prnSdipr UpOiuS n iSSl1n him an ordor
for $50. ''Too late" said the damsel,
CURLY, pointing with an ink-stained fin.
ger to the clock. The indignant man
stcrmed. raved and finally challenged the
correctness of the timepiece. The i'm
perturbable lady smiled. The follow
closing hour, he again presented himself
and calmly asked: "Am l too late?''
Only just in time' replied the damsel
GROSSLY. THANK you. Now. miss, l
must trouble you to issue me ne fifty orders
hol or stricken ic womanher tea I had inst
arrived and was standing on table be-
hind the screen-"Surely you are jok-
ing?'' Madam said the man. raising
his hat, politely, courtesy begets court
eSy.
I.abouchere cannot see why Sir Edwin
Arnold should have made a fuss because
his Queens Day ode was used to in
crease the attractiveness of certain adj
vertsements of beef and beer. The
latest president of the Royal Academy,
he declares. was "made" by the employ
ment of his picture. Bubbles" to spread
the fame of soap.
While the late Enoch Pratt of Balti-
more was most generous. he had a habit
Of walking between his home and his
bank. and when some enc suggested that
he ought to use the street car, as the fare
was only ) cents. he rejoined: Only 5
cents. Don't you know, sir. that 500
will haze TO work nearly whole week
to earn that 3 cents?'
She was from Boston and was on her
way to the geysers. She had rendered
the stage driver thoroughly uncomfort-
able by throwing great chunks of boz
tanical and geological information at his
head. and he had about reached the de-
termination to brighten her with stories
of highwaymen till she would get inside
the coach. when some gnarled and twist
cd oaks attracted her attention. do you
know how old those trees are! she
asked and was preparing to launch a
whole row of figures at him when he sur
prised her by answering very promptly:
'.Yes'm." How old are they?'' Three
thousand and six years" How do you
arrive at such accurate results" We'll,
n smart young woman from Boston what
knows ell about il told me they were
5000 years old. an that was six years
ago. so they must be 3006 now-goin' on
OO7."-San Francisco Post.