Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-07-30
Them Fool Bankers.

We nearly always know when we
are TO suffer an inHiction from Vic in
state of inebriety, by the multitude
nous and malodorous scents that vex
the atmosphere on his approach.
When we find Ourself impressed with
the idea that livery stable, an over
ripe limburger cheese and barrel of
sour beer are moving in upon us in a
body. we know what TO lock for, and.
If We can, we turn the Office over to
the jour and the devil with instruc-
| tions to tell all corners that we have
just gone out of town and will not be
back for week. We then hide out I'M
til Vic's bald-faced pony gets across
the bridge.
The other day he dropped in with
out any of the premonitory symptoms.
He was sober as a squash, but mad
clear through.
"See here. Eli! amt this paper
printed in New York City?" said he.
unfolding a copy of the New York sam
with jerk.
"Sure!" we replied.
"Well, the bankers and business men
out there must be set of blaDkerty-
dashed fools 20 let q Teller like the
Sun editor run looseI"
"Why, what's the matter with
Dana?" we inquired.
why. see here! Look at this, -
said he pointing TO the following arti-
Gle:
THE GRAND ARMY OF CREDITORS.
The gentlemen who think that they
have made an attractive bid for votes
by proposing a ffty-cent dollar for
debtors TO pay their debts with are
reckoning without their host. Every
State of the Union is full of creditors,
and they will never consent to defraud
and cheat themselves.
| Among these creditors are:
All persons who work for wages.
salary. or by the piece;
| All members of building and loan
associations;
All depositors in savings, national,
State, or private banks;
All holders of life, fire, and acct
dent insurance policies;
All members of benevolent and fra
ternal insurance orders;
| All holders of Industrial insurance;
All widows, orphans, or wards de-
pendent wholly or partially upon the
income from Investments;
All educational and charitable in
situations dependent wholly or in part
upon the income of their endOwments.
In fact, the fifty-cent silver dollar
would be OF advantage to few persons
in the long run, save the spectators
who would gamble on the inevitable
fluctuations in its purchasing power
and in the price Of commodities.
"Oh, you mustn't take Dana serious
ly," we said. HE writes on the finan-
cial question whatever will please the
stockholders of his paper"
.'You don't reckon there is any
bankers among ;em, do you?"
"On the contrary, a great deal OF
the Suns stock is held by this class OF
people. and it depends for its patron
age almost entirely upon them or their
goodwill"
Cant any of 'em read and write,
can they?"
They are the most intelligent peo-
pie in that section"
81 tell you, Eli" he went on with
great heat, ''lesving out st. John, the
whole shootin' match amt got sense
enough to stock fish-bait. They've
clean ruined me, any way"
why, you haven't been gambling
in stocks, have you?" we inquired.
Nav, not much! / don't bet on
any body's game but my own. but that
fool Dana has knocked me out of a
plum Fortunes plum fortunei"
"How's that. VicP" we asked.
Ivy. you see, it was this this way, y
said he. ..Me an Old Pete Brasshead
concluded to start bank at the juno
ton. / sold all my stock except old
Bolly out here, and Mot, the milk
COW; all my corn, and nearly every
thing else had loose from the ground.
It made over five hundred dollars, all
told. Pete did about the same thing.
We went over to the Junction and
rented a room, got second hand safe
from st. Louis, and put in lot OF
counters. / was President and Pete
was Vice-Presideut. My boy Sam,
who's been away to school, was made
Cashier, and young Jim Brasshead was
Teller. We got most of our money
changed into silver and one dollar
bills. Ola Pete had a trunk full OF
Confederate money. This we got out
and made piles of, putting a good dol
lar bill at the top and bottom of each
pile. This we stacked out on the table
back of the counter. tell you. Eli,
it made it look like we had a lot OF
money! Every body came in to look
at us, aud the money came rolling in
when we opened out. Then this fool
Sun article come out anu knocked our
| -ohor,a into tho raiddla IF newt waaLr ~