The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-01-15
SARGE PLUNKETT
The Old Man Glad Of Chance to Fuss
With England.
atlanta Constitution.

Everybody IS Tor war. 1t lS uOtu
ing more than what everybody has ex
pected that war should come. The
Democratic party is split as bad as il
was in 1860. I do not know if it is
tariff, or silver, or third party, or toe
much production, Or too many people
but, anyhow, people are not surprised
and great number invite the coming
of war.
There is no great patriotic upheaval
folks just don't care: anything for
change; anything to relieve the press
ure.
Brown and me have been reading
up on the Crusaders of olden times.
It strikes US that these crusades were
instituted to thin out the population,
and they done it.
Millions went upon these crusaders
| at different periods and but few that
| went ever returned. Thus the popu-
lation of Europe was thinned from
time to time before the discovery of
America. When America was dis
covered the crusades ceased. They
we're no longer necessary to the thin
ming of Europe's population, instead
they dumped their surplus over here.
At last America can stand no more
and the crusades will have to be re-
vived, or else some other plan Of thin
ming the people must be found. Brown
swears that England can always be
depended upon in taking care of its
own. He tells me that he has been
watching through long life, and he
has never seen prospect Of changing
the channel of trade from England
and Englishmen but what there was
some devilment sure to arise.
Some years ago our own Georgia
town of Brunswick took squirt, and
looked as if she was going to revolu-
tionize commerce through that port.
Brown told me then that the Bruins
wick people had better mind and, sure
enough, just as the boom got at its
best an epidemic of yellow fever broke
out there, and Brunswick has not been
heard of since.
Brown believes that the English
will do anything to hold the reins Of
commerce, but | do not believe that
they would SOW the seeds of an cpl
demic for such a purpose, but they
might raise a war to such an end, and
it may be there are people in this
country that would help them.
lam right glad that we have again
something to abuse. It had got 80
that we had nobody nor nothing that
| we could cuss. We had exhausted the
| yankee and the North. Long ago
had quit spelling negro with two "g's:
the Chinee and dago and everything
| else had outgrown all our abuse, and
it was pretty hard to get up any in,
terest.
I am glad to have something to abuse
| if it is England, but can warn the
young that war is a bad thing and
there is mighty few easy places.
knew fellow that tried every branch
| of the service in the Confederacy fol-
an easy place, and died in disgust and
blaming himself for being fool after
all his changes.
When the war first broke out this
fellow joined the cavalry, got him an
easy riding horse and pranced around
through Tennessee drinking butter
milk as only the cavalry could drink,
till he got so big and fat that it was a
misery for him to ride, and so moth
ing would do but what he must make
change. He got transfer from the
cavalry service to that of heavy artil'
lery and went to the coast and lay
around Savannah, eating oysters and
fish till he got fatter than ever and
lazier than ever.
At Savannah this fellow had what
a soldier would call nothing to do, but
he began to kick on throwing up breast:
works and lifting at heavy guns, and
got worse and worse as the weather
got hotter, till at last he done nothing
but cuss himself for leaving the cav
airy.
He felt sure there was some easy
branch of service and he felt deter
mined to find that branch. To this
end he went to work after another
transfer. He got transferred to the
flying artillery, and went on his way
to Virginia in great glee over having
escaped the labor of his last command.
About one week with the army of
Virginia convinced the gentleman that
he was the greatest fool in all the
Confederacy. He pulled his own hair,
gritted his teeth, and jumped up and
down in his frenzy.
When the seven days fight around
Richmond was over, this gentleman
went out on log and calmly spent a
day in cussing himself, but the fool
went right to work for another change.
He felt sure that he could never be
worsted now, and set to work to get in
the infantry.
There are none but an old soldier
that could enjoy the joke Of going to
the infantry for an easy place. My
friend was long in finding out what
being in the infantry meant, and words
could not be found to do justice to
whas he thought of himself. So it is
with war; there is no easy place, and
the young generation had better gov
ern themselves accordingly.
It is mighty nice to look upon pic
lures and see the horses a-rearing, the
flags a-waving and the brave a-rushing,
but you may look at all the pictures
of the world and know nothing OF
war.
The talk is now that war would be
short; they said the war in 1860 would
be short. We can whip England be.
fore breakfast; perhaps we can, but
we were mistaken in matter like this
once, and it ought to make us very
careful. 1t is very fine to listen to
speeches of the orators and step to
the sound of martial music, but it
teaches nothing of war nor Of wal
matters.
Fighting is not all of war, though ii
is plenty to satisfy me and Brown
You can march a man and perish q
man till he would take fighting as a
dessert. There are many things in
war that the youthful mind never
thought Of.
| c.11.- S.;.lku a,onc