The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1896-12-09
THE NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
We arc developi1 glorious clvillz

sjty -
alton.
An American family moved over to
China the other day; and there they
made the bead eyesof the natives pop
out with astonisifment.w when the good
wife proceeded I'd dose her husband
with arsenic, and sent him flying to
Bob Ingersoll's heaven. And this not
being enough she tried to take away
the dead mans reputation, after she
had taken his life, by Il cock-and-bull
story about woman in black, who
visited him in his bedroom. and made
melodramat:c thfeats against his ex-
| istence. But the police could not find
any such woman in black. but they
found drug store where the amiabIe
American lady had bought arsenic
| enough to kill bull.
And see the kind Of critters we are
| developing in our universities and col
leges.
We hold in our hand, while we write,
with the other, copy Of the Chicago
Times Herald of Friday. Nov u. 1896.
One-fourth of the first page is taken
up with picture OF "the great fo)t-
ball game in the Coliseum" Then on
the same page is large portrait of
"the star of the U. of G. eleven;" and
another, equally large, Of "the U. Of G.
man who tackled with shoulder dis
located" The ~. of c." is the Uni
versity of Chicago, founded by Rock
afeller with part Of his stealings,
through the Standard Oil trust.
Then on the same page we have a
column-the 7th, running over into
seven columns more on the I'd page O.
Observation-Disclosures Bows TO MAROON.
MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL
TEAM BEATEN BY CHICAGO.-SCORE
| IS SEVEN AND SIX.-BADGEaS TIED BY
| EVANSTON. HERSCHBERGER'S SPLEEN
DID KICK WINS TIE COLISEUM GAME.
| ETC., etc. And there are portraits Of
nine more illuStrious ignOrant-lO oking
kickers and tumblers in the dirt, with
| diagrams galore.
Then on the third page we have the
portraits of three great, beastly fell
lows, with animal faces, the represen-
tatives Of the Northwestern Univer-
sity, all in a group, one of them ten
DERBY hugging a great football. On
the same. Sd, page are two more dia-
grams and portraits Of two more pa
triots. And nearly sic columns more
are devoted on this page to the noble art
Of kicking a ball and barking each
others snins.
Then on page 4, we have the sDhole
page, excepting a single quack adver-
/ tlsement Of the Cure of certain filthy
nameless diseases, (proper association)
devoted to more RECORDS of football!
And here we ha We three more por-
traits of distinguished kickers Of the
ball and breakers Of bones. besides the
| picture Of the quick dOctor,-Who
has, by the way, the most Intelligent
face in the whole paper.
Tnen on the next page, page 5, we
have another pdtufe, equal to nearly
half the page, devoted to picture Of
a foot ball conte St "'between the Wis
cunsn and Northwestern Teams"
And of the remaining seven pages six
are given up to other games!
Then on page 1--WE have five more
| columns given to some more games!
Page s contains four more columns
Of games, including ''steeple- chasing"
with one man dangerously injured.
And then, very appropriately, We have
a column in favor of increasing the
artillery of the nation. We will need
plenty Of artillery if we are to raise up
such a breed of muscular idiots.
Here are tour.ffhs Of great newspaper
taken up ,Uih accounts of young men
scramb!ing and fighting ouer leather
balU!
And these are the young men of
wealth and position who are to rule
the republic in few years!
What is the meaning of it all? You
see nothing of the kind in the leading
British papers, although the English
race is fond Of athletic sports.
Is is not an attempt to degrade the
status of the new generation Of
Americans? To turn their minds
from the serious responsibilities of a
self-govcrning people. To withdraw
them from grave and solemn
thoughts of the million mighty ques-
tions of the day to lot of coarse
amusements, which even the monkeys
and dogs would not engage in.
Three men have lost their lives in
the past few weeks in these games and
hundreds Of others have been injured,
many for life.
And the Universities, $50 called be-
cause they are supposed to be places
of universal learningD are at the bot
| tom of all these monkey-shines; and
they are largely supported by those
who have made vast fortunes plumber
the people.
And then boys are taught to utter
barbaric yawps and animal outcries,
called College Yells, without sense or
meaning. We read:
Anderson, Ind, Nov. 29-Anderson
Normal University faculty held a spe-
cial session last night, and, after full
nvestigatiOn, expelled three studen is
and reprimanded several more for
taking too much liberty in making a
college yell whichtwas used for the
Thanksgiving football game
The yell was wild and wOolly
one throughouty warranted to win a
game by itself. and it wound up with
stanZa which9 the telegraph com.
pany refuses to carry.
| The faculty eSDeciallv objected tn q