The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-03-29
Bah srraigns Him SeVsrtlyin Ills Various
Moods, and Dwell on His Errors
SuLLEN AND PAULT-fISDING VARIETY.
stipciness and Suspicion Go Hand In
Hand-Horrors OF Married Life with
a Drunkard-The All-Aronnd fooi'
"Divorcese oh, No!-Bad Men
in the Minority.

Sg lust DIT b.Sbct. 49, - -.3,ea
a pleasant feeling. But what sue ar
was a question easily answered.
there any bad husbands" l began 10
,rf,t( ~ the difrerent ones. And first OF
AN there came before me the suiien man.
He's the one who comes home at nisht
with a crowl, and wakens In the morn
ms, with q complaint. Neither OF these
are loudly spoken, but he mutters theh
with his teeth half closed, and his wire
wishes she knew how TO make dear
Charley" perfectly satisfied. But dear
Charley Is the sort Of man who Will not
be happy either in Heaven or the other
place. At the breakfast table the emil
dron have been taught not 10 SPEAK LOT
fear they will irritate their father ana az
the dinner table they don't appear at all
not even when the other sweets come
on, for II It is possible he is a little Dit
more sullen and little bit more nahs-
dog looking than he was at breakfast
He's been forced 10 associate WIN men
all dav and. of course. there is always
the chance of a man kicking him II he
tries any OF his nasty business with him.
but with the little woman at home, whom
he has promised TO love and protect, ne
feels at ease, and finds no fault with HIM
self when he bullies, Ia his horfid sullen
Wa. the creature that IS bigger and bet
ter i'm every way than himself. She can
never get an opinion from him. A SUI
len look. words that are muttered. and
a grumpy" manner being his everyday
conduct in his home Which of Dante's
holls do you think he will be found in
when Gabriei's trumphet sounds?
THE FAULT-FINDlNG SPOUSE.
Next came to my mind the fault-ind-
ing man. The man who is never suited;
the man who. If you offer him mutton
on Tuesday night, wonders why II wasn't
served on Friday, and, If you happen to
have il on Friday, Is surprised that you
didn't remember tho cook and serve ish.
lie isn't satisfied with your gown. ana ne
sends you of into a shower Of tears by
reminding you Of what he thought you
would be when he made love 10 you.
lie forects how he has changed-he for
gets that there is no possibility OF suit
ing him. If you are lively. he makes the
cheerful remark that all women are gos-
sips and never stop talking. If you are
quiet he wonders what you are sulking
about. and if YOU try the happy medium
of mixing chatter and stiffness, he asks
where YOU got your wisdom from when
you talk and he inquiries what you are
complaining about 10 yourself when you
keep quiet lie finds fault with the cook.
and You discharge her; then ne Is sur
prised that YOU were such a fool. with
very expressive adjective before IL. as 10
get rid OF a woman who knew the DIFF
ference between grouse and pork, and
who could boil water well. lie interieres
with your management OF the cnlldreh'
and the result is that they are imper-
tinent and can never be called. good; but
this of course. he considers your fault.
Of a
ing mans hereafter. lie will be married,
IL there IS such a thing as marriage In
hell. TO a New Woman. who will treat
him az he did his wife. and then he VIII
know tho rather doubtful pleasure or
continual mental and physical pin-pricks
sTINGINESS.
Usually the fault-nnding man combines
another vice with his chief one, and that
vice is the abonination Of desolation-
stinginess. He IS not at all inclined TO
be stingv with himself but he wants TO
know what becomes of every cent which
is spent by his wife. The fact that she
| is his wife and has an absolute right TO
a certain part of his income never seems
to dawn on him, and nothing gives him
greater pleasure than 20 discuss with two
or three Of his cronies the extravaganza
OF the woman who bears his name. II
she LOOKS tNtUpF ne Ildiiit5 HUI A4litio'lif
but her. He doesn't know and doesn't
care how the little bit of money which he
gives her is so we'll managed that he al
ways has a good breakfast. and good
dinner. while she and the children have
a starvation luncheon. If he happens 10
take her out he SCOTS at her quiet black
frOck, never dreaming that II has gone
through all the economical possibilities
| that only come when a woman hash
much money and must freshen her old
frock The five cents worth Of soap bark
10 wash IT, the assistance OF a little
dressmaker whose value lies IN her cheap
ness the careful arrangement of the
ribbon bows here and a trimming there.
| concealing a bad place. are. TO you and
me. pitiful, but to the stingy man II IS
all no more than his wife ought 70 do.
He is as stingy with his love and his
pleasant words as he is with his money,
and although before he was married,
he used 10 make most ardent vows OF
! love, love that was TO last till death and
| after. he doesn't think il necessary. now
adays, 10 even express his appreciation
| Of the way the woman he has married
| tries to cater to his wishes.
lie IS apt, in addition, 10 be suspicious.
! Stinginess and suspicion are close kin
and usually go hand ia hand. He ques-
! tons the children as TO their mother hav-
! ing seen anybody during the day; he
manages TO drop into the kitchen, and.
| by being pleasant 10 the cook. gets her
TO admit that Mrs. Dash might have beer
more economical II she tried. He knows
some jolly good fellows and Is forced &C
| think that, when their wives call upon
his wife. they must discuss him and com
! pare him TO them 10 his disadvantage.
| lie fOrgets entirely that he Is married
! 10 a woman-and when one says a wO-
| man, one usually means a something that
/ has all the faithfulness OF a dog, with
| out his occasional lapse into a bad TEN
! per, and, as a natural sequence, a bite
| IL the mother OF his wife visits her. hs
| is never quite sure that the days would
| pass by so quickly unless his vices were
| under discussion: and II his own mother
| happens 10 be 10 the fore. he feels sure
| that she tells his wife what he used tc
/ be, and that they both sigh over what he
| is now. oddly enough, in his heart OF
| hearts, is a positive contempt for him
self, for he knows that he is cad. one
! or two thrashings a week might, per-
haps. make a man OF him; but | doubt
! IL. When fault-hnding and suspicion
| control the heart Of man. he is about
as near degradation as any human being
| can be. What do you think viii be his
| He'll? ( have an idea that he will gel
| that fifth one where he Will sit on a
| cake of fee. drink ice water and have two
or three particularly devilish little de-
| mons TO find fault with his manner OF
| sitting. of drinking and of living. even
| In the depths OF Dante's NTH canto.
( MARRIED TO A DRUNKARD.
What do you suppose the life of wo
man Is when she is married 10 drunk
| ardf
Fancy the never being certain OF his
condition. Fancy never being quite sure
| in what condition he will appeari II