The record-union., 1896-12-13

was ever Cne law Ialu uOWn AOi
mans moral good strictly enough, for
chilly enough and many-sided enough
that he could not if he chose find in 1t
some loophole of escape? They are
cute creatures, these men, l am more
than ever convinced of that since a
certain story has come to my ears that
beats the record in this line. There Is,
you must know, a whist club IN our
town-to be sure, there are many whist
clubs, If you will, but this one in par
ticular has, as I said, made record
for itself, 1t is composed, as one might
well suppose, entirely of men, and some
of their high jinkS would be worth
your while TO hear about, provided /
was at liberty to tell of them. But
one thing I am going to tell you about
i didn't promise not to, and it's too
good to keep-,the wife of the perpe-
TRAITOR of the joke will never know L
told you and besides we all know Mrs.
goodness alivel l almost told you her
name, and that would never do. 1
viii surely have to be more careful.
You see, to return TO my subject, the
club meets ait her house, and as is the
way with men when women's REIN
ing influence is lacking to tone them
down, as it were, the fun sometimes
runs pretty high When Mrs. IS
limit of endurance is reached she comes
into the room and firmly and quietly
draws the line, as she did in the in
stance / am about to relate for your
benefit. Being men, as [ said, and
Jolly good fellows at that, their meet
ings are always accompanied by
light refreshment, commencing with an
'eye-opener," from which it may be
deducted that the black bottle forms
a not inconSpicuous nor unAmportant
feature. The gentle little lady Of the
house, after keeping her weather eye
OPEN a number of times, came to the
settled conclusion and conviction that
the gentlemen were passing more black
bottles about the genial board than was
altogether consistent and in keeping
with the purpose for which they met,
and more also, than was really good
for them or at all necessary. Accord
ingly one evening she rose to a point
of order and declared her emphatic in
tention to limit them in the future to
exactly one bottle. She said it was all
they could have If they We're to meet
in her house, and she would listen TO
nothing contrary.
The fiat had gone forth and conster-
nation reigned among the enemy. That
same evening before disbanding they
held a long consultation relative to the
matter, which resulted in the appoint
ment Of a committee of one TO preserve
the ancient rights and traditions Of
the club if possible. Matters after this
seemed to proceed in perfectly well
regulated and orderly manner, to the
intense relief and satisfaction Of Mrs.
-. who was convinced that her lect-
ure had not been entirely without effect
But one black bottle made its appear
ance at any meeting, and the unsus-
pecting little woman, inwardly con-
graduating herself that discipline was
being maintained, did not notice at
first that that one black bottle passed
a far greater number OF times than was
at all consistent with its apparent size.
But. as we all know, murder VIII
OUT in the end. The little woman's 8
suspicious some way or other became
aroused, which led to quiet investi-
CATION on her part. Alas men were de-
caivers eyeri-the innoeent-lO looking bot
tie was found to have been constructed
on a thoroughly new and original plan,
after the inventive genius of her high
lv respected husband, and while its
outer covering was deceitfully small, its
inner capacity was greater than the
old one which had been in use for SO
long a time. What did she do about 1t?
Oh. the end is not yet. The case is still
pending in that household. If ] am
fortunate enough TO learn the verdict.
I'll be sure and let you know. / have
the story on good authority-in fact,
It is indisputable. 1t was one of the
club. YOU see, who divulged the matter
to me personally. SO there is no possible
doubt as TO its truth / would so like TO
ten YOU his name, and the name also Of
the inventor. whose genius surely de-
serves a widespread recognition, be-
csuse. vcu see. you know them both
so very we'll. But 1 don't know what
might not happen to me If 1 were rash
enough for that, 50 I'm afraid you'll
have to just guess st It.
Miss Laura Kramer well known to
social circles in our town, IS about to
desert the ranks of maydens fayre'
and take upon herself the duties and
RESPONSIBILITIES of a wife. The gentle
man who has been SO fortunate as TO
pers1,ade her to depart from single
blessedness is. l hear. Mr.. kranse of
our CITY. The trousseau has been under
process of preparation for some weeks
past. and | think, from the Indications
we viii surely hear of the wedding be-
ing consummated before very long.