Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1896-10-09

week were made into one coffin" That
was cheerful conception.

week were made into one coffin" That
was cheerful conception.
This has been going on for weeks and
may continue indefinitely. The Sunday
newspapers are sure Of having good mate
rial for years to come. The editor of the
department has only to turn to the diction-
airy and begin with the first page of "A. :"
The first word he finds is 'aard-vark.
Very we'll There Is a suggestion for q
picture showing all the aard-varks of New
York city rolled into one mammoth aard-
vark. Then let him take up the other SUBJ
jects as they follow.
"How all the abacisci Of New York
would appear If made into one abaciscus. 1"
'"All the abacists of New York made into
one abacist." The "abacot," the "abac-
tor" the "abaft," the "abanga" and the
"abattoir" could be used later.
The advanced educational movement In
the east proves conclusively that what the
Chicago people want to know Is what
would be the effect If all the boomers in
Chicago were pieced together into one g.
xantic pair Of bloomers, to be nailed on
the front of the Auditorium hotel.
If all the odors from the Chicago river
were assembled into one great odor and
bottled, what would be the comparative
size Of the bottle If stood alongside Of the
Columbus statue on the lake 'front.' Sup
pose all the garbage boxes that need clean
ing could be represented in grand total by
one garbage box. Would this box be as
large as the city halR Or wouldn't it. Tho
people have right to know.
Thousands of frog legs are received In
South Water street every year: II the to-
tai receipts for the year could be graphic
ally represented by one pair of legs, SPAN
ming the river near the cold storage ware
house, with tugboat passing underneath,
would not the men and women of this be-
nighted community feel lifted up some
what from having looked upon the pic
ture?
Suppose all the collar buttons in Chi
cago were made into one collar button,
what would be the appearance OF this col
lar button when loaded on drayp
These are questions which must be an
swered If Chicago Is to keep up with the
educational movement in the east The
information given this morning is mere
BEGINNING It is no more than an indica-
ton of what may be accomplished here
when the people have climbed up to the
New York plane of culture and begin to
understand that full page picture Of q
prize fighters fist is 90 per cent pure food
for the juvenile mind.
No Chicago newspaper has yet computed
Marshall Fields wealth In cent pieces
and made picture showing the size of the
canvas bag that would be large enough to
hold all the coppers. In fact, the educa-
tional movement has made scarcely any
Roadway in the west.
Mrs Bryan travelled through the wes
and made stopover in Chicago witho'
attracting very much attention to her feet,
but as soon as she reached New York the
leaders of the educational movement gave
to the public life size picture of Mrs
Bryan's feet and 500 words of description.
That was just what the people had been
waiting for. Chicago has been slow. But
this morning start II made In the right
direction. Chicago Record IT,