Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1896-05-01
A MUTINOUs COOK.

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though china fall, up to certain limit,
beyond which no conception of heroism
reaches. The model woman screams at a
spider and discusses the merits of wired
sleeves serencly while priceless vase goes
crashing to the floor. Such is the standard
of feminine courage, the foot rule by
| which woman may be measured. Yet
| when not one piece of china, but two
pieces, and three, and four fall, the stand
ard becomes useless. A woman Is not ex
pected to bear more.
Yet moro came. There was a fifth crash
in the kitchen Mrs Melville stopped in
the midst of telling Ritchie--of the Sixth
that anchovy paste was to be struck off
the oommissary list. She stopped and
looked appeaiingly at Melville.
Austin, can't you do something's"
Austin gathered up his napkin, put his
hand on the table and started to push
back his chair; then he sank down again
and restored his napkin to its place on his
knee. "lf go in there and he gets imper-
tinent, I'll break his head-which would
be bad for his head and, incidentally, for
my official neck"
"But its heads of china"
well there's is plenty more china, and
when that gives out the quartermaster
has IA new invoice of tinware."
But seriously, Austin, there won't be
thing left for the general to eat off Of
: What are we going to do about itS'
Il think the epidemic Is over. There
has not been dish broken that know of
in five minutes. You must be reasonable
, and make due allowances for him, Matty.
It's hot out there. It's hot here too. It's
hotter than blazes everywhere"
II think, my dear, you are bordering on
profanity. OF course it's hot. Within the
memory Of the oldest inhabitant it has
never been even cool in Arizona in July.
You really can't expect the inspector gen
/ eral to bring ice. Mr.. Richie, don't you
t think he ought to do something
I Il must respectfully decline to enter into
family difference. You and Melville
q must settle the question between your
selves. Only let me suggest that If 1t
e comes to the actual breaking Of heads d
i take it out on Sing and not ON one an
u other"
I There, Austinr' fairly screamed Mrs
Melville, jumping up. There goes an
q other, and yet you sit and laugh Oh,
how hurrid you can be!'
sit down, Matty, and talk sense. Sup
pose l should go out there and attempt to
reason with Singp In the natural sequence
l. of events 1t would come to pass that in his
u present humur he would be so ugly that
should feel obliged, as l said, to break his
head. Apart from the distant conse-
It quences of that act, you can See that the
II near ones would be pretty bad You'd
It have to wash the breakfast dishes and dc
10 the homework and also cook and serve
n the generals dinner. Therefore the mad
IS visibility of my reducing Sings head &c
a splinters is obvious, isn't itY'
Il suppose so, but do wish to goodness
ia Mrs Lawrence 5 cook hadn't got married. y
80 does she-the cook, / mean--sinct
O'Halleran came home drunk two night:
o. ago and thrashed her. He's been in the
N guardhouse ever since, and IN out IA goOC
r man Shows what marriage does. Befor,
III he was married he didn't beat his wife
e. However, 1t wouldn't have made thu
n slightest difference whether she had com
mitted matrimony or not the Lawrence
y, would never have had the general nor eveI
~ "a single member Of the staff to dinner
She's never dined the paymaster, yol
III know"
II think it's too bad first lieutenant
wife has to do it and all the rest of tn
o entertaining for the post"
81 "You are also the adjutant's wife, re
~ member"
'u Yes, of course. i wonder what's tn
IL matter with Sing anyway"
That's obvious-appruaching guests,
observed Richie, stroking and curling hi
IL unduly military mustachios, the mustacl
III los that have entwined and ensnared S
IN many hearts in their silken meshes sine
IL then in the whirl Of Washington society
Richie was Melvillos second lieutenan
at at that time and AS he was not marie
us and didn't like the bachelor mess b
messed with his senior and that youn
"' officers wife.
"Why didn't his cousin die, them"
perhaps he realizes that the dea
hu cousin s funeral is a little worn as metl
'o' cd of obtaining "a leave"
I'll Il should think SO. One died when ii
eh paymaster was coming to dinner the tin
ct before last and another when the India
in' agent was here and he polished of two
MS anticipation of the paymaster's last trip.
he That's not all, Austin" pursued Mr.
Melville. Generally he only slams wht
Co. he has lost ut faro the night before"
as In pursuance of his method of warfa
ACT Sing precipitated chopping bowl al
ne knife to the floor with q resulting moi
us that only the falling of those two home
my utensils could possibly accomplish. Me
leu Vile bit his upper lip and clinched his tis
Ner Il wonder if it would do any good 4
vas me to go out and speak to him quietly
the suggested his wife
AAe suppose you try 1t. II he takes a car
'es' Ing knife to you, call out and We'll con
10 your rescue, but unless it's an actu
l cA Iarving knife don't get us mixed up
WIG any domestic brawl. "
oon Mrs. Melville patted her lace and ribb'
nH breakfast cap down securely, took u loI
,e.' breath, arose, walked resolutely to /
49,, kitchen door, opened it, passed throul
-. and closed it behind her.
i'o Melville and Richie listened Melyi
leaned back in his pine Z. NJ. chair, wi
his ear bent toward the kitchen. Ritcl
D+,- soraped salt into little ridges on the clio
The with his knife. They could hear the dro
M a ing of Mrs. Melvilles voice, then paui
inca She commenced and paused again a
oI,s yet third time her voice rising a lit
/, of higher at the last. But Sing was W.
act Shipping the god of silence.
Iiad After the third venture, Mrs. Melvi
tri' came reluctantly out and resumed her SCI
"WellY"
"Well, told him."
eyes, we heard you. But what did
dor"
sell "He didn't do anything-muoh.
orer just dldn answer
,ead "Did he turn his back on your
"Well-yes."
"In short, he didn't pay any attent
kept TO your"
en-. II suppose ne didn't"
Nj Melville took biscuit and passed