The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1896-05-26
CONFERENCEH UN0R
An Entertaining Summary by
Henry TucIiley.
SOME STRIKING SIDE-LIGHTS.
What wa, Dono About Anascs"sn'', Hap.
tam and EvNngslists- Relation to the
Methods, charch sO"ih-A Resume Of
tbs Work of the AIsthodl't Conference.

CLEVELAND. O., May 25.-The man
who should write up the humor which
no often tickles the disabilities Of these
whole souled Methodist brethren would
not only afford entertainment, but
would necessarily, a, the same time,
throw vivid and pleasant light upon
the business transacted in this confer
cnce. He would also, by such a course,
illustrate imprcasIvcly the methods by
which that business Is pushed forward;
occasionally, too the devious ways in
which proposed legislation Is blocked.
and would throw upon his canvas, as
Stunning that he was not devoid OF ar
ttatic Instincts, the salient idiosyncrR-
sizes Of some very striking pcrsonali-
ties. The current impression that this
body has exhibited bad temper Is
totally erroneous There have been
times when something Of u strain was
felt, and there wac one occasioR-one
only In the conference proper--when
tho feelings OF few, including those
OF the presiding officer, were somewhat
unpleasant, perhaps even ill-naturcd.
Often, too, have the proceedings been
noisy; strict Prcsbytcriaus and other
prlm rCllgionistS would have called
them dIsordcrly at such times. But
these brethren are McthOdists; hence,
demOnstratlvc, fond OF speaking In
meeting. self aSsertivr and ircmcn-
dously In earnest; and, Inevitably, the
qualities which distinguish the dement's
nation are dominant IN the proceedings
OF this representative conference. But
30. also, IN there evidence OF Abundance
OF McthVdistic good humor There Is a
keen eye for the ludlcrOus, and quick
ear for every attempt ut wit. The good
brethren have reared with laughter
quite MS often ns they have clamorcd
for the door and the fun has, from the
beginning. more than couuterbalanccd
both the occasional lack OF courtesy and
any strain to which brotheTly feeling
may have been put.
Very funny sometimes are those
Kodly men, the bishops. They have
fine opportunities In this direction, and
It is a great help 10 the good feeling
when they are wise aud witty enough
10 improve these. Bishop Warren was
leSs breezy and genial when he pre-
sided the second time; presumably--so
they say--because the new elections to
the Eplscopacy had not pleased him.
Bishop Foss provoked good nature by
hts Sladge-hammer use Of the gavel
His viGor in this line was a revelation.
But he had his way and expedited busi-
ness, Haven't You learned. breihrrn.'
he said calmly. that you can't get
along unless you listen to tho chair"
The brethren smiled al this, but they
listened to the chair more than usual,
and as n result got along faster.
A rnre presiding officer Is Bishop
Merrill. always cool. solemn and cor
rect.yct ever ready with his little Joke.
~ aRVa NtNF
table before him was sold at auction
for $500. DR. Mills, OF Elmlra, n. Y,
was the aucttoneCr. Every bishop, he
said, had made his mark on this table;
hence It's great value The first bidder
said he would offer $te0 for the table,
II the bishop then presiding was TO go
with II, Here was Bishop MOrrill'S
chance you can't have the bishop"
he remarked, but you can have. with
the table. all the good things, and the
others. that the conference has laid
upon IT," These. II is needless to say,
are very numerous.
Doesn't Need Repairs.
If every call for change should pre-
vail the Methodist church would be 30
transformed every four years that II
would look like n new craft altogether.
but the first discovery. when this good
ship goes into dry dock for repairs. Is
that she doesn't need any repairs, or
scarcely any. Hence she almost always |
comes out about as he went in. This
means that the conference usually dis
tlnguishes itself less for what It does
than for what II dccllnes to do Its
chief function Is 10 say no. Most OF
the proposals for change are buried tn |
the committees. II the committees act, |
the question then IL, how many OF the
reports from these bodies the confer |
cnce will have time 10 consider. Gen
orally II hasn't time to take up 4 third
Of them Which OF the many shall be |
thus favored Ia determined by n sitting
committee. which might more properly
be called n committee Of undertRkers, |
for its chief business is TO lay things
deccutly away. Finally, too, the whole
conference goes into the undertaking
business, and the table fairly groans
under the weight OF the many things
lJiI upOr II. But the church doesn't |
grOan, and the brethren continue TO
have n good time even while this end
less succession OF funerals IL IN pro-
Eress.
with the memory OF Omnha only four
years OF II would have been strange
indeed II Bishop Fowler and DR.. Buck
ley had not 20 come together M 10
awaken laughter. AZ omaha, With |
Bishop Fowler in the chair. Dr. Buck
leg wanted % speak. as he often DID |
nnd stil docs, but Bishop Fowler |
thought him not In order. After long |
wtnngfc. however. Il tFaHsPiTed that he
had right TO he heard. To-day"
said the triumphant doctor rs that
Scripture fulfilled which promises de- |
llvcrnnce from the snare OF tho Fowler"
Veg" rctOrtCd the quick-wlttcd bishop
but what Of that other promise which |
says We shall also be delivered from
the nOisomC pcstilcncc?"
Such roar OF laughter az followed,
wave succeeding wave for some min
utea. could occur nowhere but in a
Methodist conference: and this year
by tho bright Initiative OF the namc
EO0d-nuturcd bishop. the conference
got another chance 10 laugh at Dr.
buckley. No one speaks so frequently
as he, and no voice. though doZcna are
appealing for recognition ever goes 40
straIght to the car OF the presiding
once But Or. Buckley. n little man.
occupies q seat In the extreme rear, be-
hind n very tall man. Or. Leonard. Hcrc
was Bishop FOwlcr's chance. and he
improved IT, Many were crying, mfr
President"
UrOnaht Down the IIou'r.
"Tho chair" said the bishop, heard
the voice Of some one bchnd Dr, Leon
ard what name. please" Whcrcnpon
The intrepid Buckley marched triumph
entity toward the platform, Grcnt was
the mcrrimcnt. and WHOM ~. AnshIsS
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