The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-08-12
WHERE CUPID
IS BARRED
Little God Of Love Is DethrOned In
Japan.
VERY PECULIAR SOCIAL LAWS
Etiquette Governing the Relations of
Young Men and Women Before Mar.
riage..NO Kissing or Embracing at
the Wedding Feast.

O~hS 3ssU" Uuu w OusCu DChUuC .H Wt
riage..NO kissing or Embracing at
the Wedding Feast.
When young man wants to get
married in Japan he does not offer his
heart and hand to the girl he loves,
but, if an arrangement has not already
been made for him by his parents with
the daughter of a neighbor. he goes to
a discreet and trusted friend who Is
already married, and asks that he and
his wife act as "nakodOs.' or GO be-
tweens, for him in this important mat
ter. 1t Is the most delicate duty one
friend can perform for another: it is
the highest of compliments to ask Il,
as it is naturally an evidence of COM
plete confidence, and the gentleman
and lady who undertake it assume re-
sponsibilities that few people in Amer.
lea would care to accept. They not only
agree to find a suitable partner for the
aspirant for matrimonial hOnors, but
remain through life in the relation of
godfather and godmother to the young
couple. They are expected to assist
them If they get into difficulty of suffer
misfortune. to promote their prosperity
and happiness in all ways possible ana
serve as a board or arbitration to set
tie disputes that may arise in the fam
lily.
But the responsibility Is not dreaded
in Japan as much as would be sup
posed. People are used to it, and nearly
every gentleman and lady of acknowl-
edged distinction have at least on"
and sometimes several couples under
their care.
ARRANGED BY PARENTS.
AS a rule in the upper circles of So
ciety marriage between the sons and
daugh hters of friendly families are ar
ranged by the parents when the child
rem are very young, and boy or girl
often know who they are going to marry
long before they are old enough to un-
derstand the nature of that relation.
But they are not allowed to associate
with each other. From infancy girls
are taught that they are inferior to their
brothers. and must treat them with re-
spect accordingly. A boy can call his
sister by a pet name. but she can not
show the same familiarity toward him.
He is "Ani-san," which literally means
Mr.. Brother" and his authority cam
not be disputed In their play. Usually
the boys of the family take their meals
with their father. and their mother and
sisters wait upon them. accepting what
food is left by the superior beings with
out a murmur. In this way the spirit
of obedience to mankind is instilled in
TO the mind of wonianhood. Confucius
,t.,t.I - I,n,. III
be separated. but the Japanese are u
little more liberal than the Chinese in
this respect and boys and girls play to-
gether until they are 10 or L. years of
age. After that their association is for
bidden.
Nor is there any opportunity for boy
to become acquainted with the girls of
his fathers set. Therefore cOurting Is
impossible and the children of families
whose houses may adJoin grow up as
strangers to each other. This rule ap-
plies equally to the nearest relations.
There can be no friendship between
young men and women. 1t Is disrepu-
table for Japanese young man to mar
ry for love. There Is no such thing as
love between the sexes before marriage.
and there is no word to define such af-
lection in the japanese language. When
young man and q young woman love
each other public sentiment places them
very low In the scale of morals.
CELIBACY A DISGRACE.
The social laws Of Japan require that
a man shall marry at the age of Is or
10, and 1t is a disgrace for a man or
woman to remain single after they are
20 or u. AS consequence there are
very few old bachelors or old maids in
the emp pire.
But a young man usually has an op-
portunity to inspect the girl that Is
selected by his parents or his nakodos
before an engagement is decided upon,
and if either is dissatisfied with the APP
pearance Of the other the arrangement
may be declared off. This meeting
is called a ''mi-yai," which means lit
orally mutual seeing"
According to etiquette the interview
may take place at the residence of the
nakodos or at the house of the young
lady's father: but among the lower
classes a picnic or "a theater party. a
boat ride or an excursion of some sort
serves the purpose. If the visit takes
place at the house of the young lady's
father. the young man and his nakodo
are received by the host and salute
each other with great politeness. A SER
want brings a pot of tea and materials
for smoking. over which the three gen.
discuss politics. business mat
ters. the condition of the rice mar
ket. the news from China, or any other
Indifferent subject for awhile. Then
the host will clap his hands and the
young lady in interest herself appears.
dressed in her prettiest kiminO and obi
and bearing a tray containing three
cups and q pot of tea. These she places
upon the mat in front of the guests
and proceeds to serve the beverage
and SweetIneats which her mother or
a servant brings after her Girls are
trained to perform this duty with the
greatest degree of grace for tea pour
ing is regarded as the highest accom-
plshment an Japanese woman can
acquire on this occasion Is naturally Of
the greatest Importance. She is not to
speak unless she Is spoken to. and the
ton with her rests upon the nakodo. If
he is u gentleman of tact he introduces
some subject or asks some question that |
Is calculated to bring out whatever con-
powers the young lady may |
possess. and in the meantime she sits |
upon her heels and endeavors to be |
as charming as possible. The young |
man may engage i'm the conversation.
but it is not good form for him to ad- |
dress his remarks to her. He may /!
speak to her father or her mother. but |
he usually remains entirely silent dur |