Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-03-04

Brother you won't be dead and
in hell three days before your wife
will be Saying, well | declare | new
er thought about gettin' married
again till the night my husband
died. Say wasn't that time enough?
You'll go off and say, "Sam
Jones is SO c-o-a-r-s-e. That
Just what the sore back horse says
about the curry comb, but if he
amt sore back, he just leans agin
ii. OH you old sore hack devil
you!
The devil will be sure to get you
you little pistol totin' fool you, but
thanks the Lord, ne won't get
much. You've got no sense.
A no-account son-in-law is the
most no account thing in the world.
You can somehow put up with
your own son when he's nothing,
but its more than a fellow can
stand to be set upon by some
body elses no-account kid.
SAID prayers amout to moth
ing, but prayed prayers, move all
heaven.
The statement that legislation is
against the poor and i'll favor of the
rich, and that the itch are getting
richer and the poor poorer is only
half truth. The other half is that
the poor are getting richer. and the
rich are getting poorer. One is as
true as the other.
If the farmers would stay at
home, and attend ) their crops in
stead of running about to political
meetings, their crops wouldn't get
run away With grass. Why when
they got to heaven, they'll walk up
and down the golden streets, say
ing where's that primary going to
be held to-day?
If there are Two classes of | co.
pie that | am anxious should get
10 heaven, they are the negroes and
poor white folks, for they are down
trodden in this world and il is a
pity for EN- to burn forever in the
next.
The greatest calamity that can
befall a church is for socia'y to he
rolled into it. The three requisites
for successful entrance into society
are, daYcing, playing cards, and
theatre going, and any negro cdn
do that. The Lord deliver me from
these society women. I'd as lief
shake dead fish by the tail. as to
shake hands With one Of 'em.
feel sorry for q faithful preaci.-
er. There isn't one in ten of his
members that cooperate and sym
pa!hize with him.
If l had sou that carried pis-
tol around in his pocket, hc
shouldn't stick his feet under ms
dinner table. I'd tell him [ didn't
feed that kind Of cattle.
I believe the Lord calls al,
preachers, but l think he mus
have called some of them just to
keep 'em out>of devilment.
Some preachers ale forever
preaching about the sweet bye and
bye. 1t would be better if they'd
sometimes talk about the TASTY
now and now.
You don't believe what | say.
Some of you are sayina Sam Jones
is telling lie. You are so small,
you can afford to tell lie, but /
can't. The solaon keepers in Amer
lea would give ycu $4,000 if you'd
catch Sam Jones in a. whopper, try
it, you'll make some mozey by it.
like life and vim and energy
1 love race horses. They tried to
get me to preach against race horses
once, but l wouldn't do it. l hav'nt
been to a race though in twenty
five years, but that is because |
don't want to be in company with
the little scrubs that bet. Full
blooded horses and little scrubs to
bet Oh them
All men are not born equal, any
more than your old horse is the
equal of Nancy Hanks.
The loss of communion with God
is the trouble with the church to-
day.
Dispel.sary whiskey and Chris
iianity can't both stay in the same
hide, when the whiskey GOGGLES in
man the Christianity GOGGLES out.
II is better to live OIL top of
house even when it is slee' ing and
showing than inside the house
with a fussy talking skillet-iicking
woman.
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