New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-03-18
THE FUNNY SIDE OF TT.
Bill Nye Finds One to the Financial
q Question.

Sometime ago Bill Nye wrote an arti-
Gle on the humorous side Of the silver
question. which appeared in the New
York World. In part it is as follows:
Col. Sylvester Foster of East Haddam
writes to know what, If any, opinion
may have regarding matters of currency,
That is most difficult question to an.
swer without offending good, honest
men. who may differ with US on this ques.
ton.
The first requisite of any currency, as
in the character Of an individual, is in
tegrity. The promise of good man
may he written in snow, but no iron
clad agreement engraved on brass can
avail against the intangible soul of a
nimble liar.
There are two classes of people who
favor cheaper currency-those who
honestly err in judgment and those who
gee an opportunity thus to escape the re-
sponsibllity of obligations already in
Cured or who see chance to traffic in
the temporary alteration of the erring.
There are very few methods of legis.
lation known among men whereby wealth
may suddenly, by act Of congress, be
swiped from the Golfers Of the rich and
gently introduced, without pain, into
the inside pocket of the poor. Politi-
clans promise to do this, but after election
they claim to be overpowered by wicked
men who are not in favor of doing so.
Tile danger threatening the country is
not 50 much that the people of the Uni
ted States desire to do the wrong thing
as that they may be forced to express an
opinion before they have quite formed
one.
Dear fellow citizens, under whose eye
these few tremulous lines may pass, let
me entreat you as one who has never
asked for your suffrages, and who does
NOT anticipate doing so, to calmly repu-
elate all prismatic pictures Of a stuffed
currency and general JOY. Let me on
Bonded knee assert in all humility that
honesty is better than dishonesty; and I
know YOU. will appreciate this as coming
from aone !who has tried both.
5Weshear much of the double standard,
bnt the dangerous Iouble standard is
carried by the vicious and ignorant can
didate with face toward his constituent
ey, reading;
"Give us new way to pay off old
debts.''
And another facing Wall Street on
which is inscribed:
"Gentlemen, we are not for sale. What
Will you give?'
Currency is peculiar commodity. 1t
must lie more or less elastic in order to
adjust itself to the needs of trade and the
growth of the volume of the worlds
Business. In this way, Of course, the old
world naturally became in measure our
banker. We must not get irritated over
that. We need fly wheel sometimes to
regulate our velocity.
Suppose we liken the currency to the
human circulation. Are we better off
with slender supply of good blood,
which may he added to by natural meth
dds, or should we inject into our systems
q chemical fluid that is called blood by
act Of cbhgtess7
No one can blame the producers of sill
YER for desiring larger and better mar
ket for their crop, but that market must
he created by the demand and not meas
ured by resolutions. know that silver
is low. l have phenomenal silver mine
of my own, but have never dared to ex-
pose it to the public, for fear that the.
possession of a silver mine might hurt
me at the butcher shop. know it is
hard to submit to such things, but we
must be patient. Better Ear will it he
to know that the body polite needs a
little more blood than to know that an
early rose cancer has been planted in its
circulation.
TO look at the matter seriously we ar.
too prone to attribute all of our ills to
"the government" Is the government
to blame that for ten years we fell all O.
yer each other in our efforts to buy pral-
RE suburbs and build double track cable
lines all over Kansas and everywhere else
where two or three robbers and court
house were gathered together? Is the
government entirely to blame because
the ring worm, the rider-p pest and the
grcen-goods man make farmers life a
perfect hell on earth? Is Grover Cleve-
land to blame for the cut-worm which