Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-05-28


Oh, pretty fad, so blithe and grand,
Your rule is for day;
The world has Tilted Trilby and
Espoused the Roentgen ray.
Washington Star.
Miss Dainty-Go away, dirty trampI
Restful Reddy with dignity)-Madam,
that is a purely superduous imputa-
ton. We are all mere clay.-Philadel-
phia North American.
City man-How far is your house
from the station? Suburbanite (hesi-
tatingly) = Well = that depends ON
whether you are running to catch
train.-Somerville Journal.
"Wanter flip pennies, you four-eyed
kid?" asked the rude little boy. with
pleasure" answered the Bostonian in
FAINT Twill you choose the diverse,
or eY'-Indianapolis Journal
Mrs. Penman-A penny for your
thoughts, dear. Mr.. Penman-I was
fused to give me even that much for
them.--Yonkers Statesman.
Cunliffe-Did Roarer ever realize any
of his political ambitions? "No, poor
fellow; he never got any higher than
the position of q favorite on."-Phila-
delphia North American.
Our bairnies-C Children, hope you
peeled the apples before eating them?
eyes, mother. dear" what have you
done with the peelings?" ooh. we ate
them Observation-Disclosures
Most extraordinary man." I'm what
way"" II think he's the only man in
the country who has manufacturing
plant of any description and hasn't be-
gun to make bicycles "-Chicago Post.
Though nature daubs with reckless grace
In field and wood, without restraint,
One springtime artist beats her pace
TITS woman, with pot of paint.
Chicago Record.
Hopkins-There's no reform about
these boomers the women are wear
ing. Brown-Wby? Hopkins find it
just as hard as ever to find my wife's
pocket Philadelphia North American.
Shortson-Shyson, until now I have
never felt obliged to ask you for a
loan. Shyson-And, strange to say,
Shortson, until now I have never felt
obliged to. refuse you.-Roxbury Ca
;at.e.
:. ,l:-c-Have you anything to say
before the judgment Of the court Is
passed upon you? Tough prisoner
Begin yer honor's pardon, hey We
heard the score, Observation-Disclosures
Record.
How large were the diamonds"
asked the press agent, pausing in the
writing Of the account for publication.
about as large as chestnuts,' confess
ed the actress NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
oils Journal.
Stranger-Your city hall is quite I'M
pressive, but it lacks warmth of color.
1t gives one an impression Of chilliness.
Philadelphian-Ch Well, rath-
er. 1t cost about $16,OOO,OOO in cold
Philadelphia Press.
Visiting Acquaintance-Don' you
find it a great deal cheaper to live out
here in the country than it was in the
city? Mr. Subbubs-M-no, it's about
the same. My wife brought her cnafing
dish along with Milwaukee Jour
nal.
Teacher-How many weeks in the
year, Tommy Timkins? Tommy-Only
fifty this year. Teacher-You know
very well that there are fifty-two. Tom
my-No'm; not this year. Pa says he's
going to take two weeks off.-RoXbury
Gazette.
What are you looking for? We've
got everything worth taking" II am
looking" The other burglar con-
tinued his search. for the much
morrow will say we overlooked. Har-
per's Bazaar.
"A child,' said the oracular young
person, "can ask questions that wise
man cannot answer" '"That's one sat
isfaction," said the man of family, "he
can't ask very many of them without
getting sent to bed."-Cincinnati En-
Guirer.
Inquiring offspring-Pa, what does
this mean about giving to airy moth
ings local habitation and manner"
Intelligent Parent-Oh, something in
connection with the apothecary shop,
where they dispense sweetened wind at
cents glass and call it soda Boston
Transcript.
Il suppose when you were in the
White Mountains last summer you en-
joyed the echoes very Euch?" mo, i
,Gn't I went to hear them with Char
lie Billiard, and when they repeated
what he said they really bored me very
nuch. -Harperss Bazaar.