Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-04-09

him get up in the middle Of the night
and try to compose.
Miggs-What?
Mrs. Diggs-The baby.
The Influence OF Food.
81 am so fond Of candy" said Miss
Kittish to Mr.. Goslin.
That's what makes you so sweet,
doncher know"
you must believe. then, that food
has an important effect on persons
characteristics"
II do"
what quantity of noodle soup you
have consumed, Mr.. Goslin."
In to....
"Do you know
He blushed coyly, then hid his face
behind his fan.
This is Leap Year, and / am half
tempted to take advantage of one of its
privileges?"
Miss Bloomernew had been paying
him attention for some time without
coming to the point. Now, however,
the slight hint was ufficient-Puck.
A Little knowledge.
First Small Boy-What is filthy
lucre?
Second ditto (who reads the newspa-
pers)-Why, money with microbes on it,
OF course.
Changing the Name.
John" she said, rather sternly, "the
coal bin is empty"
YES" was the disconsolate reply,
tits that way most Of the time. It's
never of use in any immediate emer-
gency. I'm going to change it's name
and call it n coal-has- been. Washing
ton Star.
The Reason.
Pastor-Do you ever play with little
bad boys, Johnnie?
Johnnie-Yes, sir.
PastOr-I'm surprised, Johnnie! Why
don't you play with good little boys?
Johnnie-Their mammals won't let
'em.
Wise Precaution.
Maude-Isn't that new process of pho
tographing through solid substances
wonderful? How 1 do wish could get
a photograph Of Algy's brain!
Belle-Why, do you think there is
anything serious the matter with his
brain?
Maude-No, but / want to be sure he
has one, you know,-Detroit Free Press.
''How has Button been doing?" ask
ed the man who had been away from
his native community for some time.
well, he has made great deal Of
money, but
Getting along well, Is hep
well, he seemed to get along first
rate until he tried to pass some of it."
Two Birds with One Stone.
'Molly, what shall get you for your
birthday-a doll or some candy?" asked
Texas mother Of her pet.
Molly was silent for few moments,
and then happy thought struck her.
"Get me a doll-one Of those candy
dolls that can suck"-Texas Strings.
Philosophy on the Cable.
In the car:
do you believe in the greatest good
to the greatest number?
"Well, yes"
'"Then don't try to sit down on this
Portable room now, but If you sit down,
twelve of us will be crowded. "-Chica-
go Record.
Popular Women.
Miss Longpurse-Why, of course,
Helen of Troy was beautiful. Do you
suppose there would have been a twen-
ty-year war over her IL she had not
been beautiful?
Mr.. Shortcash forgetting HIMSELF
Oh, don't know. May be she was rich.
New York Weekly.
No Reason for Haughtinsss.
Editor-We won't print any such stuff
as that.
Contributor-Well,y you needn't be so
naughty about 1t. You're not the only
one that won't print it.-Pearson's
Weekly.
Going Down.
De Hote-Yes, Brown is going down
hill. Saw him in very tough company
last night.
De Blote-Dear, dear! Is 1t possible
Where?
DE Hote-Talking to steak at the
Cafe Rosbif New York Press.
An Instance.
MORAL courage" said the teacher, ''is
the courage that makes boy do what
he thinks is right, regardless of the
jeers of his companions"
''Then," said Willie, III Teller has
candy and cats all hIsself, and amt
A Generous Offer
"Your money or your lifer' shouted