, 1896-08-14

Or a Political Talk That DIDN'T Pan
Out Well.

Out Well.
Two men who encountered each 9th
er near a prominent street corner a few
mornings 6 stopped. shook hands,
inquired after each others health. and
spent a minute or Two in desulaOFy
talk.
Then they shook hands again. ask
ed to be remembered to each others
family. and were about to separate.
when one of them said:
BY the way, Higgins, | presume you
are for Bryan and free silver
Free humbug," retorted the other.
I'm for Mckinley and prosperity"
i've go: nothing in particular
a ;ain Mckinley" was the rejoinder.
"excer, that he's a pr0tocttonis, and a
gold standard man. and wouldn't make
4 good resident. The issue OF this
campaign is"
Il krow exactly what you're going
to say. The issue of ehis campaign"
is free silver. AMI you know Il. Hig-
gins, Don't try to squirm out of IT.
Who's trying to squirm out of it,
Rogers? Yves ready 20 meet you on
The free silver or any cGher issue, OF
all the blamed fool. nonsensical. idiCtic
you're an Internal goldbug! Tha;'s
wait you are. Higgins, | though you'd
have more SENSE"
rive got sense enough 20 be honest.
Rogers, I've sense enough 10 be hon
e., | don't want 20 swindle my credi-
;urs by paying my deBts in 50-cent dol
lars"
They raised their voices, and a crowd
had begun to gather, but tine two men
we're oblivious to their audience, and
went on.
Look here, Higgins roared Rogers,
IF you can't discuss a political ques-
ton without calling Names
Calling names, you fea~therhead ?
You called me an internal goldbug not
10 seconds ago."
well that's what you are! Any
man that wants to put the currency
system of this country into the hands
of Great Britain is a public enemy. and
he ought to be hung, BY George. he
ought 20 be hung
ANY man that hasn't brains enough
to see that free silver will bring the
Iy-r,tntry- RI tbo yarun of rIIin Il m idiot
and ought to be in some asylum fol
the feeble-minded!'
Give it to him. yelled a number OF
!, voices.
Paying no attention TO the Interrupt,
ton, Higgins resumed:
IF you would only read the miser.
able, cheap. namby-pamby speeches
your candidate Bryan
Mckinley can't make a speech. He
( can't make a speech to save his life"
, That's a"
Look OUT"
IF he calls you a liar hit him" vocl'
ferated an angry free silverite. The
t crowd now numbered a hundred OF
| more.
> Gentlemen" said Rogers, turning
to the bystanders. 81 appeal to you!
asked this man a simple question, AMI
he chose to take offense. II he wer'
disposed to discuss the silver issu'
| fairly"
DISCUSS the silver issue!" shouted
| Higgins. Gentlemen. he hasn't intel
) ligence enough to KNOW
I 1--WE got intelligence enough" re
torted Rogers, at the top OF his voice
ito konw what every man in hi:
crowd needs. You will pardon ME
[ gentlemen" he went on rapidly, open
ing a small valise he carried in hi;
. hand, " If | take this opportunity O.
calling your attention to a little article
which I an introducing in this city.
call it the Universal Implement. L
will pare potatoes without wasting any
of rhe body of the potatoe, slice toma'
: toes, shave caggabe into strings. trim
a lampwick, cut the pages Of a maya
zine, remove warts"
i, He paused and looked about him
The crowd had fled.
I II you have ever seen a little child II
the agony OF summer complaint, yor
can realize the danger Of the trouble
l and appreciate the value OF instantane
GUS relief always afforded by Dewitt.
I Collie & Cholera Cure. For dysenter!
and diarrhoea, it is a reliable remedy
T We could not afford to recommend thi
l as a cure unless it were a cure. Chas
4 N. Settele.
DeWitt's Sarsaparilla is prepares
for cleansing the blood from impuritie
O and disease. 1t does this and more. l
, builds up and strengthens constitu
tions impaired by disease. 1t recon
mends itself. Chas. N. Settele.
j UP TO DATE-1S96.
The most complete tariff text bool
ever published is the new edition o
l Tariff Facts for Speakers and Stud