The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-22
NO CITY LIFE FOR HIM.
Jay Green Had Seen 1t All and Wanted
No EiRht For Life.

No Fight For Life.
There's tremendous lot Of people
Twin in New York, amt there, JayP''
inquired Josh Grayneck.
There's tremendous lot more Of
'em Twin than I should think there
would be, considerin the risks they are
runnin all the time. replied Jay Green,
who had but recently returned from his
first visit to the metropolis and was still
greatly impressed thereby. Talk about
dangers! Why, it's lots safer brakin on
the railroad or workin in powder mill
or fightin Indians than it is Jest to live
in New York; It's continual fight for
your lifel'
Gee whiz! The sharpers an bunko
men amt as bad as all that, are they?"
"Shucksl The swindlers amt nothin
compared with the other dangers
swlndlers won't do anything worse than
hook your carpetbag or sell you gold
brick or something like that, if you let
EN-. 1t is the dangers of what is called
metropolitan conveniences that I'm talk
III about. Manholes BLOWN you up, safes
fallln on you an smashin you fat, po-
hcemen poundin you on the head for
askln civil questions, hacks knockin you
down II you stop a minute in the street,
elevators fallin into the cellar with you,
fire engines an ambulances runnin over
you, live wires shockin you to death
somethin everywhere that you've got 10
dodge for your life an somethin else al
ways on hand for you to jump right in
front of when you dodge out of the way
Of the other thingp'
"Gol frostl want to knowi''
"An, pshawl One of the things that
city folks brag about especially is the
worst of all-the elevated railroad.
You've seen cattle bein loaded into
cars for shipment? Waal, that amt a
circumstance to what oooors ON the ele-
waited during the busy parts of the dayl
1t seems as if about all the people in
the world are crowded ON to the plat
forms Of the stations waiting for the
trains, ar jest as many jammed fast in
the stairways. An all around the edge
of the crowd are big policemen hittin
heads wherever they can git in good
lick!
Talk about it! The people fill the
station platforms like sardines in box.
If they all drew their breath at the
same time. believe to my soul the
swell would puff the folks that are
around the edges overheard like boilin
rice i'll spite of the best efforts of the
policemen to pound 'em back. Then,
when the train swirls up, they all try
to swarm on board at once, everybody
scrabblin 10 git in ahead of everybody
else. But there is great big bull necked
Teller who slams 'em back like Il hay
press smashes its cud
when the folks inside of the cars
have managed to fight their way out,
the outsiders rush in like q cataract,
about one-third of 'em apparently ridin
right i'll on top of the rest Then the
bull necked man rams 'em in like loadin
blunderbuss, shoves off the surplus
people an filings em back Oh to the plat
form. Then he smashes the iron gate
shut an the train goes on amid the salts
fled signs of the people ON board an the
groans Of them that are left behind
And this is only one of the things
that go on i'll New York day after day
an year after year, an the victims actu-
ally boast of 'em as metropolitan con-
veniencesi Josh, I wouldn't live in New
York right along for salary of $50
week. Let's go an git glass of cideri'
New York World.