Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-06-01
JUST FOR FUN.

easily.
Sunday School Teacher-And the
prophet rent his clothesl Johnny
s'pose he didn't have the price to buy
'em.
Will you be my wife, Fraulein Paula,
and make me happy? am sorry, doc
tor, but should like to be happy my
SELF
We know man who is SO hopeless
ly insolvent that, not to mention pew
rent, he can't even pay attention to
the minister.
"That's bright boy of yours" ssDo
you think so?'' ct do" elias he any
particular bent?1'' eyes. He is bent
most of the time over bicycle.''
On being asked what nephew is,
a little Boston school-g girl replied: at
is when your niece is boy" state
ment which it would be hard to con-
trovert.
Teacher-As the twig is bent the
trees inclined. Do you quite under
stand what that means? Scholar
sir. When bicyclists grow up, they'll
walk STOPPING.
New Teacher-Now, little girl, what
is your name? Pupil-Lu Lu Loomis.
Teacher you poor suffering little
thing. And what is your first hame?
Pupil-Why, Lulu.
"Mary Ann" remarked Mrs. Wick
wire, 'sI think If you will take
sweeping glance around this parlor,
you will see that you have given it
very glancing sweep"
"Annual bargain sale now going on.
Don't go anywhere else to be cheat
ed" is the rather dubious manner in
which a New York furniture dealer
worded his announcement.
Teacher-Can any little boy tell me
which is the longest day in the year?
Billy-Some fellows say the day be-
fore Christmas is, and some say the
day before the Fourth of July.
Wife, must have a new chimney
l. v
it. Wife But must have it. Hus-
band Well, get it! We must have
peace, whether we can afford it or not.
Young Doctor prescribed for my
first patient yesterday. Young Law
yer (anxiously) = Has he made his
will yet? Young Doctor-Not by any
means. I prescribed brown bread
pills.
Miss misunderstanding of names,
1 think Frank is a pretty name. Mr..
Charles F.Silver-Yaas,s so do I. That's
my middle name. Gaining courage)
Er-what do you think of Sylver for
a name?
A poet sends us a poem beginning,
81 kissed her under the silent stars"
We can't accept it. But we can give
him word of advice. Don't kiss her
under the silent nose. You'll find it
better so.
Who carried off the gates of GAIA?
asked the Sunday school superintend
emit. 1t was the second morning after
Halloween, and twenty seven boys
rose up at once and said they hadn't
had anything at all to do with it.
Miss Smith-Canyo you pick out Arch
lie and Kate down there, Mr.. Calem-
bert? Mr.. O. oh, yes: am ver'
good looking. Miss S. gently
does not mean 'keens sighted Mr.. @.
All, yes; vat I mean 1 am looking
ver' we'll!
DeGillie- Bobby, did your mother
make any derogatory remarks about
my singing after was gone the other
night? Bobby -N-n-n-o, she didn't
make any derogatory remarks. De-
Gillie-I'm glad to hear that. Bobby
But she nearly died laughing.
A couple of lawyers engaged in a
case were recently discussing the is
sue. cat all events" said the young
er and more enthusiastic, tive have
Justice on our side" To which the |
older and warier replied, "Quite true
but what we want is the chief Justice
on our side.''
The mother asked little Dot to go
into the next room, and see if the
clock was running, for she had not
heard it strike all the afternoon. Dot |
came running back, put her curly
head in at. the door, and exclaimed:
"Why, no, mamma, the clock amt a
runnin'. 1t is des stanin' still and a.
Vaughn its tall"
Four Big Successes.