The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-01-30
''N THEWORLDSHOULDEND
What Would You Do P'' Asks "Becky
Sharp
OF MANY TOPEKA PEOPLE.

Below Are fhe Answers. Some Grave,
Some Gay and All More or Less
witty.
Yesterday was to have been the last
day of the world, so said an eastern paper
that was reading last week. The mis-
take must have arisen from the fact that
Kansas has come to the end of another
year. 1t only took small stretch of a
somewhat vivid Imagination, 10 make of
the close of so important an epoch lit
tie more important event.
That is how it happened, of course.
As l read it, however, l said suppose it
were true, would each one of US, as be-
fore pursue his favorite phantom, or stop
and wait in breathless expectancy for the
end?
1t is hard to be sure of what one will
do under certain circumstances, and as L
pondered, | determined to ask u few peo-
pie l know, what they would do if they
knew the world would come to an end
next Wednesday. So out l started and
the first person 1 met was Capt. Joseph
Waters. Capt Waters" l said, "what
would you do if the world were coming
to end next week?"
"What would l do?" said he as he
looked at me over his glasses.
"Do you know Pm q great reader of
DR.. McBlank's Mexican Mustang Lini-
ment almanac, and have been frig htened
over the January prOgnossics, Wis"
Along
and
Just
about
here
look
out
for
squalls.
"1'm already preparing an itinerary for
the voyage.
Wednesday, be among the archipelagoes
of variable stars all day Thursday, en-
counter the Lost Plead about day break
Friday, leave the Milky Way the follow
ing midnight strike St Peter Saturday,
hand in my requisition for palm, crown
and the ike, adjust the ball bearings to
my wings in time for morning service of
the eternal Sabbath in Paradise.
81 hate, however, to leave Kansas.
Please underscore that While l smile
over my beuered fortunes. l am horror
stricken to think Governor Morrill, will
have such short time for repentance;
while l rejoice that February, poor
thing, will no longer be the slimmest and
shortest month in the year, yet weep be-
cause earth will never known whether
Cleveland was really fakir or philoso-
pher.
"While my quickened pulses throb in
glad expectancy, I am disgruntlsd and
saddened that Cap johnson will never
have the opportunity to wipe Cy Leland
of the face of the globe. which he would
do if terra tirma would quit shystering
and stay under his feet long enough"
"But Mademoiselle Sharp" said the
doughty Captain, wheeling around in
his chair and "transixing" me with
sharp look, and a question which showed
he was not Sc anxious for the last day as
he had led me to inferl "Mademoiselle,
as the globe is round and somewhat fat
tened at the poles, like the Democratic
party, may l inquire the means by which
it is to come to its end and which end,
pray?"
The captain had turned interviewer
with "now-E have-you" air. and i fed.
In the hall l almost ran over Lieuten-
ant Governor TrOutman.
I said: "Mr. Troutman, please tell me
what you would do if you knew the
world would end next Wednesday"
81 would change the Kansas Day ban
Quet from Wednesday to Monday night,
SO that Kansas might take up the march
to eternity in a blaze of Republican
glory.
81 would also stop work on the dam at
pnce; would send DR.. Embree big sub
Bcription to the church. payable Febru
REy I, and tell all the bill collectors to