Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-04-01
THE SENTIMENTAL TRAMP

Anything new ben happenin' ter you
uns, Trampy?" asked the Chronic Loafer.
I'VE hain't seen yer about these parts
.sence corn plantin' year.
''Nawthin' onusul," replied the Tramp,
laying on the store porch his stick and the
bandanna handkerchief that contained his
wardrobe He fixed his back against a
pillar and stretched his legs comfortably
along the floor ''Nawthin' onusu'l. I
wintered in Philadelphy an started up
9or these parts in May"
Seems like yer lookin mighty glum, -
said the Storekeeper, who had ceased
whiting and was examining every de-
tail Of the wanderers dress and physiog
nomy: Might s'pose you was i'll love
.ag'in."
The Tramp heaved deep sigh, and in
silence combed his beard with his fingers.
You air the sentymentalist tramp l
ever seen, cried the Miller. Every time
yer gifts through these parts it's Il new
one. Sights Does yer think the
weemen's SO almighty blind ez TO git stuck
on hoodoo like ter you?"
Il Keeps me passions an me shortcom-
in to meself," said the Tramp, after he
1ad filed and lit his corncob pipe. But
I've he'd a heap of hard luck. | didn't
kick on gittin' in love, nor on gittin' in
Jail fer murder, but both ct oncet is two
much, even fer man of my shortcom-
ms"
''Hedgins.' cried the Loafer. edging
toward the end of the bench so as to get
rs far as possible from the yagrant ''In
Jail fer MURDER
A faint smile fitted across the be-
whiskered face of the Tramp. Then he
began his story:
In jail fer murder an in love wit the
Sher ifs dotter-thet's iXactly what hap
1ened ter me. It's unjust, even ter a fell
Ter of my Shortcomings. This is wheat
harvest, hain't it? Well. it was corn
ploughin' time it all come about l he'd
Suskehannar, an one night put up wit
IN ole Teller named Punk tibet lived in a
laWg house ct the foot of the big mo'ntain
this side of Pillersyille. They was 10
one there but him an his woman.
She was a pesky, bad tempered Greet
III an made things hum round tibet
ranch when me an the ole man was
playin' kyards after supper. They put
me ter bed in the garnet, an next day
| sets out agin. Punk he Sayd he'd walk
UP the road piece wit me, an he did.
" e parted ct 4 cross roads, two mile
from his house, an tibet was the last l
ever seen of him. I'd a-never thot no
more of him nuther, eff it hed'n ben thet
two days later. when l was a-i0ggin'
easy like inter JimsontoWn, [ was rest
. ed-'reSted, mind YOU gentlemen. fer the
murder of Noah Punk. | never know'd
jest what it was all bout, tell I was
conf tably fixed in the kyounty JAIL an
then ] didI't keer, fer I'd met the Sher-
ifs dotter
Snakes. but she was a peach: lest ez
plump ez yer make 'em. wit a dimple,
an yaller shiny hair. an jest ez red ez
ripe raInbO apple. When she brought me
up me supper the fUst night [ asst her
what | was up fer, an she tof me. 1t
seems like no one never seen Noah Punk
after him an me left the house. He
never come back, an when they hunted
fer him they found nawthin' but one of
his ole shoes all covered wit blood be the
canal, near where him an me pared.
They rested me bekase l was the last
seen Wit i'm, an then the Sheriff wanted
ter hang some IN.
When | heard tibet I was kinder tired.
an fer time jest held me head down,
never sayin' nawthin' Then | looks uD
an seen Hem'ly standin' there so sorrer-
full.
How long'I it be tell they hangs
me? l asst
" They'll try you next month"; she sails.
Then I'd low another month tell -
She bust plum inter tears.
CON Two fDo9s m 4R Hem'ly, sails I; An
bless, dest two months of me life
Deed an thet's just how 1 felt.
Them words was true. eff [ ever sayd a
true word. The bless'd est two months
OF me life. Snakes! but them days did
fly. | never thot no more of Noah Punk,
er OF hangin'. 1t was all of Hem'ly
!hey was only four other pris'ners in the
Jan, an never played no kyards wit
EN-, but jest sot a thinkin' of her. She
ulster bring us our meals three times a
day. Quick ez I'd finish eatin' I'd set
WaIln Ter her ter come agin. Jail was
a happy place fer me; never wanted ter
leave it.
You uns otter a-seen me in them DAVIS
WASN'T no sich bum ez | am now.
The sheriff give me a shave an new
suit. Putin all in all, | was a purity
slick lOokin indiyidu'l-no red hair an
Mhlskers shootin' out i'll all directions
like the light from an lie lamp, ez /
heard one Teller put it. Me coat didn't
hang tergether like curtains, an me
pants was all made Of the same piece
of goods | was a dude. | was, in spite
of me present Shortcomings in tibet re-
spect. Sometimes | think mebbe Hem'lv
thot so too, fer she useter give me a big
ger potaty than she did tn other fellers.
They guyed me Il heap bout it.
A month went by. an [ was gittin'
WIS an Wus gone, when they TUX me
ont an tried me fer KILN Noah Punk.
They was a smart leetle chap they
called the strict 'torney what done all
the work agin me- He showed the jury
i uuh ; DlOOuA SHOe dl my pants. y
doctor sayd the spots on my pants was
huming blood. They was. but it was my
blood. an it got there bekase I'd set on
!; nail one day. Missus Punk told how
| slep' ct the house. Mother Teller says
how he seen me an Punk walkin long
the canal tibet mornin'. | lowed l didn't
kill Punk an tibet from what I'd seen of
Missus Punk he'd a-thanked me eff l he'd
Missus Punk an the strict 'torney got
riIed ct thet. an the Jedge come down so
hard | didn't dast say mother word
Then the jury found | was guilty, an
the ledge lowed they'd hang me tibet
day four weeks. But | didn't keer, fer
it was one month more in jail ter be fed
be Hem'ly
Tibet night she brought me a bigger
potaty AN ever, an when l seen it
sails, sails |: 'Hem'ly, will you be sorry
when I'm gone?
deed, an / will, Tom sails she.
Then II be glad ter GO sails |. an
bout half thet potaty went down inter
me lungs, | chOked so bad"
The Chronic Loafer observed: at do
seem like Emily were jest a lettle gone,
'Irampy.'
':Mebee she were. don't know. But