davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09
NUMBER 46.

SINGEING THE SERGEANT.-Ser-
gcant Byles was perhaps one of the
most astute advocates that ever prac-
ticed at the English bar, hut once, at
the Cambridge assizes, he found his
match in certain George Poynter.
who was an innkeeper in village
eight miles from Cambridge. Poyn-
ter had had watch stolen, and, hay-
ing given his evidence, was taken in
hand for crOss-eXamination by the
Sergeant.
Where do you live ?" asked the
Sergeant.
"At Willingham, but Pm not a
native"
"Oh ! Are you an engineer ?"
81 was an apprentice to Henry
Mawdsley, partner to Sir Isambard
Brunell, of Thames tunnel noto-
riety."
" Well, what else are you?"
why, Pm gunsmith, lock-
smith, bell hanger, iron arm and
lathe maker, edge tool maker, watch
and clock maker and repairer, ,mathe-
matical instrument maker, weighing
machine, steel-yard and scale manu-
iacturer, knife maker and grinder,
lnnkeeper and auctioneer."
You can conjure little, believe
as well ?"
Yes, | can show you a trick or
two"
What can you do?"
Well, if you will allow me and
not think it insulting,I will tell you.n
Oh, certainly not. Go on"
" Well, if you will just take off
your wig and let the gentleman next
to you we'll grease your head, will
swallow you whole, and then you
will be no further trouble to your
self or anybody else"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

AN EXCHANGE SAYS: Wanted-a
friend who will recognize me when /
am compelled to wear patched pants ;
who will take my hand as / am slid
ing down hill instead of giving me a
kick to hasten my descent; who will
loan me dollar without two dollars
security; who will come to me when
Pm sick who will take off his coat
and fight for me when the odds are
two to one; who will talk of me to
my face as behind my back. Such
friend'is wanted by ten thousands
Of beings throughout the whole
world,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09
CONCORD State NORMAL SCHOOL,

nFFERS unequaled advantages to
~ young ladies and young gentlemen
desiring to become teachers. The town
Is beautifully located on a rolling
plateau, $3.50 feet above the sea-
Tuition free to Normal appoIntees. A
handsome residence for young ladies,
under the management of Mr.. and Mrs.
w. S Adair. Large grounds with
beautiful grove and lawn tennis court
Tor outdoor amusement of the young
ladies'. Students can enter at any time
Fall term begins Wednesday, Sept. 18th.
For further information and catalogue
address
JOHN d. SWEENEY,
Prin., Concord Church, w. Va.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

A CLAM AS A DEADLY WEAPON.
In North Carolina the judges of the
superior courts rotate" i. e., ride
each circuit of the whole State in
regular succession. When Judge
Shipp, of one of the mountain cir
cults, in regular rotation came to
ride circuit on the sea coast, he
was much pleased with clans, which
were new to him. He had a clam
supper, with the result that he had a
most violent illness, and could not
hold court for two or three days.
When able to sit on the bench, the
first case tried was an affray in which
one man used pistol and the other
knocked him down with a clam lin
the shelly Manly, appearing for
the State, introduced a witness to
prove that a clam, so used, was a
deadly weapon.
"Stop there, Manly" said the
Judge, earnestly; "the court will
hear evidence whether or not pis-
tol is deadly weapon, but the court
knows without further evidence that
clam is."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09
j. IL. STRATTON JOS. II. sTRATTON.
Notice.

I HAVE returned home to remain
this fall and winter. Ihaye located
III DR.. 5. IL. Austin's Office, op Main
street, to work at my trade. Work
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction.
Also still continue my oculist business.
VIII call on any parties who desire
Glasses, if they will let me know.
L have also added to my line of bust
ness repairing Of all kinds of Sewing
Machines. Also all kinds of material
Tor them on hand. All work guaran-
teed. Bring on your machines.
Very respectfully,
j. A. LOWE,
Oct. 24-tf. Jeweler & Opticlan.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

MISS BoRELY called on Mrs.
De We're to-day.
Miss Cutting-So did 1.
Miss Borely--She was looking very
tired.
Miss Cutting-Yes, she said you
had just called.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

GUEST Ito waiter II can't eat this
soup!
Waiter takes it away and brings
another kind of soup.
Guest-I can't eat this soup.
Waiter, angrily but silently for
the third time brings another kind.
GUEST can't eat this soup!
Waiter, furious, calls the hotel
proprietor.
Pro. ito guest)-Why can't you
eat that soup!
Guest (quietly)-Because 1 have
no spoon!
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

WOMAN lin book store)-I want
a motto of some kind to hang up in
my parlOr.
Clerk-Yes, Madame. How does
" God Bless Our Home" strike you.
Madame-Old fashioned, aint it?
Clerk-It is a trifie old fashioned.
Well, there's "Thrice armed Is he
who hath his quarrel just"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

SHE had fidgeted i'm her chair for a
good hour, until she could stand it
no longer. Said she, in accents
which told how she had suffered,
George McStayer, you are not in
differett to me; will be your wife
if you will only ask me, and if you
don't want me, say so. But there is
one thing you must understand, once
for all-this is not continuous-per-
formance house."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

RIGHT in the middle of George
Vanderbilt's princely domain In
North Carolina an old negro owns
six acres of land, which Vanderbilt
fenced in. The owner says: "Yas,
sab l been waitin' 'steen yeahs foi
good neighbors an now got one
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

EASTER is one of the movable
feasts. The prayer book gives the
following rule: " Easter day is al
ways the first Sunday after the full
moon which happens upon or next
after the 2lst day of March, and if
the full moon happens upon Sun
day, Easter day is the Sunday after"
Consequently March 22nd is the ear
liest date upon which Easter can fall
and April 25th the latest, this year
the date being April 9TH. This rule
was adopted at the council of Nice,
A d. 325
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

HE-Have you decided what to
give your old aunt for birthday
present
She-No; but now / come to think
of it, the poor old maid has had very
little pleasure in all her life; you
may write her an anonymous love
letter.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

SMALLER ONE-Why don't you
pick out feller o. yer size? Yer
dassent.
Bigger One-Don't give me no
back talk or I'll knock such draught
through you that you'll have fever
and ague the rest o. your life.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

If were in your place, 1 would
not paint that house white ia pain
it brown. you were in my place,
you'd probably be so pad that you'd
paint it red, just to spite the people
who give you advice about 1t.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

THE only time man Of expert
ence takes his wife into his conf
dence is TO tell her he is not making
any money.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

THE lesser the education the
greater the susceptibility to slight
offences.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

Chow fallacious some of these
proverbs are," remarked the saga
cious man. "Take for example that
one about there being nothing new
under the SUM-"
Is there anything really new ?"
said his wife.
"Of course, there is. Don't you
read the papers? Don't these X
rays enable you to take a man and
see right through him ?"
" Yes, William, DEAR" she an
swered, gently. "But any woman
could do that before X rays were
thought off,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

If YOU can't give thanks do some-
thing to win few from your neigh
bOrs,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

TURNS Cross -EXAMINE Lawyer
sir did you not say you sa W
the defendant at the time this oc-
currence took place? You did see
him? Very good. Now l would
like to have you state to this jury
wether or not your eyesight is de-
fective.
Witness-Why as to that
Lawyer-Address your remarks to
the jury, sir.
Witness Ito the jury)-He's right,
gentlemen my left eye is no good,
but | see tolerably we'll out of the
other. can see that this here law
yer dyes his whiskers, and they've
grown about One-sixteenth of an
inch, / should judge since he dyed
'em last.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09

JUSTICE will not condemn even the
devil wrongfully.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-09
POETRY.
VERY DIFFERENT.

e" | do not want you to try for me
To gather too much of a pile
L do not want you to die for me-"
She said with a winning smile.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
E-EnnrcKroWr prncIIIuas.


Ne regret to report Sam'l Doughten
Il OH HE sick list.
The pupils Of the Grammar Depart
mont Of our school were given a holi.
day Oh Wednesday while Miss Abiah
McKarson the principal attended a
wedding.
The Township Sunday School Assoc
iatIon held their eighth convention at
the baptist Church last Tuesday after.
noon and evening sessions. The pro.
gram aas interesting and a large num-
Der attended.
Great preparations are being made
for The Public School entertainment to
DO held Saturday evening. Don't fail
10 60 and patronize home talent.
Miss J. b. Leaning returned home
from Philadelphia on Thursday.
John Hatch, of Penn's Grove, made
. flying trip to this place on q wheel
Tuesday.
Revival meetings are being conduct.
ca at the Baptist Chmch.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
aosia ANNrvERsARY.

The homo Of Mr.. and Mrs. William
d. Tolton we're visited by about sixty
Of their friends and neighbors last Sat-
urday, TO celebrate the 10th anniversary
OF tiieir residence as keepers OF the
meadow light honse. Mrs. Torton was
taken By surprise as she was looking,for
the company on the following Wednes-
day, but recovered from the shock suf-
fciently BY the time supper was ready
20 Is to eat quite q hearty meal. All
present enjoyed themselves, especially
At The table where a sick person would
have had to eat, II he had seen the
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20

The Tenth Anniversary Of Trinity
NJ. e. Church was held last Thursday.
Services were held in the afternoon and
evening. Rev. ]. Ward Gamble, Of Sa-
lem, preached an able sermon in the
afternoon and also did Rev. J. E. viii
Icy, OF Penn's Grove, In the evening.
Joseph Wiley caught q two pound
shad At Pennsville on Wednesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. III. W. D.. White and
John G. Moore attended the chrysan-
themum show 10 Philadelphia last FRI
day.
Tie revival services being held at the
Broadway Church, Salem, are attend
ed By large numbers from this place.
Rev. J. II. Hutchinson will begin bis
revival services about the first Of De.
cemher.
Henry Fox, OF Philadelphia, is en-
jcying 4 cunning trip here.
A game Of base ball will he played at
Church Landing next Saturday after
noon By the Owl and Hawk mines, after
which Trevis Jenkins will pay an cleo
ton wager by wheeling Louis Smith
around the Episcopal Cemetery three
times Cd = wheelbsrrow.
On Saturday evening, 2Ist, Prof. ii.
g. Yearn. q Magician, Ventriloquist
- IT.---fk iii -.o --t~~Ersr
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20

The Republicans had AZ OK roast IN
Elmer last Saturday yer their national
victory.
pearl Preston, the four-year-old
daughter Of Ephraim Preston, n Sc.
lem, was burned to death last Saturday
by her clothes catching IRE while rak-
ing the fire while her mother was out.
Auctioneer w. A. Casper sold en-
Saturday eight shares OF Salem Nation
al Banking Company Stock for $12s. 50
per share; fifteen shares OF IailEoad
stock at $54 per share. Bank stock
sells for oyer two and & half times lts
par value aud farm land has decreased
as much in value the past thirty years.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20

Mr.. EDIToR-I notice In your paper
that you have published many letters
giving a description of parts OF the far
West; and l thought that 1t would not
be out Of place for me to give you some
idea Of a small city in the western part
Of Maryland; also Of the great institu-
ton Of learning within its limits.
Westminster, the County-seat Of
Carroll County, Md, lisa city Of about
5000 inhabitants, thirty-four miles from
Baltimore, with which it is connected
by the Western Maryland Railroad.
Westminster is situated in one Of the
most healthy and beautiful parts Of
Md, and no place could be more desir-
able as a site for an institution of learn.
ing. 1t is quiet and retired, yet easily
accessible, and In ready communication
with the outside world by railroad, tel
egraph and telephone. Its streets are
very wide, paved with stone, and are
lighted by electricity. The fire COM
pany Of the town has just finished a
building for their own use, which cost
several thousand dollars, and which is
considered mi Of the finest in the State.
The inhabitants breathe al ~invigorat-
ing mountain air, and enjoy the advan.
tages Of numerous and handsome
churches.
Western Maryland College occupies
an eminence at the west end of the city,
one thousand feet above tide water,
which affords a view rarely equaled in
extent and beauty. The principle
buildings, situated on the most elevated
point Of college HILL" III imposing
structures, with front and thanking
towers, and with covered porches run.
ming the entire length Of the front
which faces the south. east, and Is 273
#. long. The central and original part
Of the edifce, known as the sAMain
Building,n contains recitation rooms,
society halls, teachers apartments, par
lors, faculty room, and dormitories for
female students. In n wing named
s'Smith Hall, - are additional rooms for
female boarding students, q large din
ing room, and an auditorium, capable
Of seating q thousand people. Herring
Hall, the other wing, contains on the
first floor, two large rooms for the Pre-
paratory Department and another for
the chemical and physical laboratory;
on the second floor, five r~ecitations
rooms and the P~resident's Office; on the
third floor, a few sleeping rooms and a
library eighty-one #. long. Joined. to
I the right wing and running toward the
| northwest, Is another wing about one
| hundred It. long, known as "Ward
| Halln in which the male boarding
| students live.
In other parts Of the campus is q
| handsome and well equipped gymnasi-
| um, the Presidents house, Y. M. CA.
| Hail, a beautiful white stone chapel,
and the building known as Levin
| Hall.n for the exclusive use OF the
| Primary Department. Anyone who Il
| going to the Inauguration OF the Presi.
| dent, of the United States next March.
If he will stop of at Westminster, and
| call at room No. Ill Ward Hall, ! will
be very much pleased to see them.
SAMUEL A. HARKER
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
BOARD OF rREnnoLDnRs.


The November meeting was held at
the Court House OH Wednesday. Bills
from the several wards and townships
were read, approved and ordered paid.
Mr.. B. B. Westcott having been
elected Sheriff, resigned as Director of
the Board and Mr.. Peter Z. Smith,
member from Warrington. was elected
for the ~unexpired term of Mr.. Westcott.
Several bills were bid over, including
some for bringing the election returns
to the Board Of C%anvassers, SO each.
On motion, the fees Of the County
Board Of Registry and Election were
fixed as follows: Frank Morrison, to fill
a vacancy, sl2. so; G. c. Ford s25; Mil.
lard F. Riley SIT. so; Henry Coombs
s35; Edward R. Davis, clerk, $50.
These sums were ordered paid.
Committee on bridges at Palatine and
Centreton reported in favor Of a new
bridge at Palatine, the otlier bridge to
repaired. The committee was contin.
ued.
Committee on Red Bridge, l.. p.
Neck, reported the same taken up and
the hole filled with oyster shells. Com.
mittes was continued, at their request.
Committee on Lower Canal bridge
reported the repairs completed. and
were discharged.
MI. E. 5. CARL reported the bridge at
Waterworks, Quinton, as needing paint
ing. On motion, Mr.. CARL was author
lied to have the bridge painted.
The committee on the oyster. shell
road in Warrington were invited by
the contractor and supervisor TO visit
the Improvement and see how the work
is being done.
Auditing Committee for December
Messrs. Fox, tanning and Atkinson.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
REApy-ro-WEAR DREssEs-

KEADY-TO-W EAR DRESSES
Let three items stand for
the store-ful of Women's
Dresses-and there isn't a
skip, from the most inexpen-
sive outfit to the Paris gowns
made exclusively for our sell
ing
s7.a-Tailor-made Dresses-in stylish
pinhead checks; new tight-htting
shield-front jacket, with high-roll-
ing collar; lined throughout with
satin rhadame. The skirt correctly
shaped, cambria lined and bound
with velyeteen. Value, $12.
$10-Tailor-made Dresses-of novelty
suitings; jaunty tight-ftting jacket,
lined throughout; sleeves capped
with changeable satin rhadame.
New shaped skirt, cambria lined
and velveteen bound. Fairly worth
SIS.
Sl2-Tailor-made Dresses-of fancy
mixed suitings and homespun.
Jacket lined with fancy satin rha-
dame; skirt cambria lined and
bound with velveteen. Fairly worth
SIS.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20

Full assortment Of Fall and Winter
Millinery goods can be seen at D. M.
Shannon's Millinery Parlor, opposite
Johnson's Drug Store. =
II you want q fine boquet of choice
Chrysanthemums go to E. E. Smith &
& Sons. y
DR.. Doolittle will make the best set
Of teeth for $50. No charge for ex.
tracing when teeth are ordered. =
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20

Penn's Grove Post ONCE is open from Sis a.
m. TO $50 D. m. Mall closes for all points ex-
cept between Woodbury. and Penn's Grove at
$40 q, M, for all points at II so a. m. and 4.30 p,
NJ. Malls arrive at tbs, $50 a. m. and 4,39, Ills
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
Deiswnre River RaiIrond.
on SUNDAY.


Trains leave Penn's Grove 7.25 a. m, -4.ls, p.
Leave Philadelphia at 8. is. q. M, $50 p. M.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
Sealed Prouosa1s

are Invited from persons .aTnish the usual
grade OF Kerosene for lighting the Borough
lamps to the lowest bidder. All proposals
should be handed In not later than 7.0 Tuesday
evening, 9th, to the Lamp Committee.
II. N s.. WOOD, Chairman.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
CoATs N JACKETS

COATS AND JACKETS
Paris and Berlin are large
contributors to this unmatched
stock of Coats and Jackets.
Best American commercial
tailors are also largely repre-
sented.
One Of the best of the Amer
lean makers accepted our offer
on two tempting lots.
At t10-Coats of rough-faced boucle
Astrakhan; box front; buttons on
fly; fancy buttons; lined with satin
rhadame. Value, SIS.
At $l0-Coats of good quality Kersey,
half tight-itting front; buttons on
fly, but finished with two large but
tons; inlaid slashed collar; inlaid
velvet strap at neck; lined and
sleeves capped with satin madame.
Value, SIS.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20

Am buying. RENTING, selling TYPEwRIT.
Frs Of all kinds for business, family and priv
ate use. Also selling new books, and all late
publications, on payments OF about 4 cents per
day. Also buying Job and odd lots Of merchan-
disc OF any kind. Please advise wants and offer
iDgs. ii. II. Mansfield, N5 Broadway, MY.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
wANAMAKER,s
PHILADELPHIA, Monday. Nov. 10, 1895.
WOMEN,s WINTER WEAR

WOmEN'S WINTER WEAK
Fur Garments are sold Just
as other goods are sold at
Wanamaker' - at the least
prices we can afford to take.
And year after year sees more
ofthe fur sellingcenteringher here
There isn't a skip in the read
mess for the new season, and
the big white-and-gold~ room
is filled with a collection Of
rich and reliable furs worthy
your attention.
Some very special lots came
along with the general gather
ing of stocks. They are marked
for quick selling.
sa.5O-wool Seal Collarettes-large
storm collar of Astrakhan; lined
Throughout.
S5- Canada Seal Collarettes - full
sweep; large storm collar; lined
throughout with fancy satin rha-
dame.
$I.50-Canada Seal Collarettes--well
matched; full sweep; Medici collar
and front edged with Grecian shin
chilla.
SIC. 50-Collarettes of Persian lamb
paws; 10 in. deep, 70 in. sweep; Med
lei collar; lined throughout with
fancy silk.
s11.50-Canada Seal Collarettes-10.
In. deep, rs In. sweep; storm collar
and
~ s; s; 4: e:
\E<N opossum.
fNsN $15-Elec-
JTS3- trio Seal
~INMSSSrsSM&~~ Collar
A<HMNXIIGVM~ cites
~ kN INV full
Y%&ASI. n N.Y. sweep;
* V~t.TT correct
M MMl length;
pN : : : : ::
~ plated
nm n I'm over
WAR; MM shout
HHTEF@ EXMM ders,
WEe~ h.IHW pointed
I'm VlM front;
~ lined
with
fancy silks.
$20-Electric Seal Collarettes-10 in.
deep, 70 in. sweep; Medici collar, the
entire cape and collar edged with
moufiOn.
e23-Electric Seal Collarettes-with
shaped Persian lamb yoke and under
collar; Medici collar; yoke trimmed
with fur tails.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
K

BLANKETS
Mission Mills Blankets are
the finest of California blan-
kets-which is a long way of
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-11-20
DissoIution of Partnershin

The partnership heretofore existing between
Theodore ElsIi aud William NJ. Davis under the
business OF Fish & Davis has been dissolved and
al DIS contracted IN the firms name or by Will
liam M. Davis i will not be held responsible for
the payment OF the same.
l.2O AZ. THEOnORE 81
The herald., 1896-08-23
THE SHORB CASE GOES OVER
Argument on . Motion to Dismiss Defendant
Decision Reserved

Decision Reserved
At IL o'clock yesterday morning the
preliminary examination of DR.. A. $.
Shorb. charged with murder, was taken
up before Police Justice Owens, where
it had been left off the evening before
The prosecution had completed its case
on Friday afternoon, and Immediately
on court being called in session, Senator
S. NJ. White, DR.. Shorb's attorney, made
a motion to dismiss the defendant on the
ground that the evidence adduced had
failed to show sufficient cause to sup
port the complaint. He then proceeded
to argue the motion, quoting authorities
to show that there had been no public
offense committed. Even if the testi-
mony of DIR. Shorb, given at the coro-
ner's inquest, was to be considered there
was not living person to contradict it.
In the course of his argument, the emf
nent attorney advanced the theory that
the woman and her paramour had them
selves attempted to produce q miscar-
riage and inflicted the wound which
caused the woman's death, and that Dr..
Shorb was an innocent party. having
been only called in when they found
that there was danger
Deputy District Attorney James re-
piled to Mr.. Whites remarks and dis
pay Gu COliSluSIdDIe dIdtONllcal ana
technical medical knowledge. He dis
puted the theory that either Mrs. Sny-
der or her paramour had caused the
wound, and maintained that the defend
ant should be held for trial.
At the conclusion of his remarks, by
consent of counsel on both sides, the case
was continued for ruling upon the de-
fendant's motion to dismiss until Fri
day, August 20. at $50 a. M, when JUS
tice Owens will render his decision.