The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-04-26

as well as could be expected. He is a
tall and rather lank man, with cadaverous
features. He wears a gray wig, which gives
him a venerable and fatherly appearance.
He informed us that he deeply regretted
the trouble between himself and Uncle Sam,
but said that it was all Uncle Samues's
FAINT. And that he Brigham) should
never cave. We asked him If he had found
any ladies in Cleveland who suited his
That's the trouble said he: they are
all so lovely that I know not whom TO
honor. 1 can't marry them alI,aiasr And
the immaculate man wept bitterly. We saw
Brigham up at Chapin's Hall last evening""
OF course Brigham said nothing of the
kind; but this story, like that about the
negro splitting the rock with his head. IL
illustrates Browns method of expanding the
local news.
Nothing in the way Of ephemeral fun
could be more absurdly grotesque than his
rissey and John c. Heenan. whose prize
fight at Long Point, Canada, on Oct. 20,
1853, excited the interest of the country. He
with Napoleon AT the battle of the Nile,
subsequently serving in the Crimean war,
and afterward under General Scott In the
rissey wrote the book notices printed in
the New York Tribune. One Of his youth
full diversions was that Of throwing cobble-
stones at his grandfather: IL browne Is 10 De
believed, Morrissey at the time Of this IA
nous battle was seventy-eight years old and
weighed $50 pounds. Heenan's parents were
Sepoys-distinguished for their peculiar
amiability. Heenan himself was described
as a ~singu.arly progressing person. sixty
nine years Of age, who weighed four tons
and some twenty-odd ounces, with q shaved
round CAP: his other "rig' consisting of a
brief sack coat and a short pipe.
AS to the fight itself. Browne protested that
express his joy at the glorious result .Mor.
rissey was victor)-adding, however, that IL
Mr.. Heenan had cleaned OUT Mr.; Nor
and that. If both gentlemen had been
mauled within an inch OF their respective
lives. his joy would have been Overwhelming
indeed.
One of Brownies tricks of humor was that
of exploiting unexpected subjects: At one OF
the Sunday morning sessions spoken OF In a
tack upon certain patent medicines IN Ian
guage both graphic and picturesque. Il sup
posed" said he. introducing the subject
without any pr~eliminaries, that 1n;1 Dqr I,g
pose that Datch's Norway Bitters are great,
also; and so. too. / suppose. Is Stambuiofrs
do now unappeasably swear. that / never
will nave anything to do with either OF
them My wife shall not touch them, nor
shall my rnii nnr s }ne n snv 40 Of w my r sha oIna
If they do so, In that moment shall dis
own them. and forever. Were my head a
snun would make it sound in an instant. /
woAld dash the stun to the ground ana spit
on 1t.
sBlast Durno and his SNUFF Eternal curses
on Dutch and his Norway Bitters. To the
devil with Stambul0f and his invigorator.
I'll none of them. No doubt Durno means
we'll: no doubt his snuff Is a great thing. and
so. too, Dutch with his bitters, and What's
His Names Invigorator: but when see that
some idiot has taken seventeen bottles OF
the bitters, another nine bottles OF the In
vigorator. and a third the Lord knows how
much o. Durno's snuff, 1 get sick. God for
give those who take the stun; / never VIII"
A paragraph going the rounds OF the pa
pers to the effect that "a curious autograph
in New York for 81. Browne advertised that
he would sell his autograph, which, he said.
ali admitted TO be curious. at half the price