The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1896-04-09
New Features in Church Entertainments.

The Ladies Aid Society of the N. L.
Church, south, gave rather a novel en-
tertainment at the opera house last
Friday night. The new features were
spelling match" and an cold maid
sale," two of the most troublesome
things to contend with in the life of
man or woman either, for that matter.
Coffee, cake, ETC., were served during
the evening, Some of the men present
were ungallant enoughto say that coffee
was scarcely strong enough to nerve
the ancient maidens for the ordeal they
were about to face.
The spelling match was the first
thing on the program. Miss Mary
Carr and Cy Lyle acted as captains and
soon had two opposing lines of good
spoilers Gas the result proved) on the
floor. Prof. Freeland pronounced the
words and got as far as j W Crumley
before q word ever staggered a speller.
"Wash." tackled adieu, spelled it
a-d-e-u, and bowed himself out of the
ranks. The next word was subdue, and
was given j. W. Boring. He very con-
fidently spelled it sudden, and was
straightway subdued by Mrs. f. B. st.
John. All went merrily until Charlie
Cargille attempted to spell kiln with
&C." Satisfy was one of the most indi-
gestible words offered, and claimed
numerous victims until George Martin
furnished remedy. Louis Gump left
the &c" out of victuals, and Sam Crum-
ley started to spell whippoorwill with a
"whoop." Martin Gump had a stroke
Of that "tired feeling" after spelling
pomegranate "p-o-m-g-r-a-n-i-t-e, " and
took his seat, and Robert Burrow retir-
ed on chilblain. A few more words left
Mrs. John Bowman and Miss Dora
Cargille the sole representatives of the
opposing sides. 1t looked for time
as if the honors would have to be divid-
ed, but the word sergeant was given to
Miss Cargille and missed. This SEEM
ed to settle the contest, but it did not,
for Mrs. Bowman spelled it with "i I"
Another trial was given, and after sew
eral words were spelled, they both
again missed the same word. This
closed the match, and the cold maid
sale" was announced. The sale was
not as successful as it should have been,
for several reasons. Times are hard,
it's true, but the principal cause of the
dull market is, that several old maids
have taken advantage of leap year, and
recently offered themselves at private
sale for almost nothing, Gust man in
numerous instances). This, together
with the fact that the market is over
stocked, caused by removals from other
towns, served to keep the price within
the reach of all. The following "old
maids, who had been ON the carpet sc
long their shoe-heels were full of tacks,
admitted their efforts had been in vain
and were willing to submit to fate;
Misses Gertrude Mitchell, Iva j ohm
son, Kate Simcox, Gertrude Weller
Anna Hurst, Bell Miller, Mamie Mar
tin, Lydia Boucher.
Cy Lyle, auctioneer, announced tina
the sale would be made for cash ant
in bar Of the equity of redemption, ant
that the person bidding the larges
amount for any maiden would be pre-
sented with handsome silk quilt, {
sample of which was on exhibition
The rare and radiant maidens whom
up-to-date angels would name legion
were brought on the stage only covered
with sheet to hide their blushe'
(blemishes) and charms, and were cas-
as pearls before swine. The price
ranged from scots to 80 .05, and netteC
about SO, an average of 81 each. Thi
would have been different, had Uncl
Henry Diamond. DR.. PEBBLES an,
George D. Taylor been present.
The ladies should receive vote G
thanks for inaugurating these surplu
art sales, known to the express compan
les as "Old Hoss" sales, and no douh
will from the remaining maidens a
soon as q quorum can be had.