Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-05-04
FUN WHILE WAITING.
A MYSTERIOUS FAT GERMAN IN A
NEW YORK FERRYHOUSE.
II. Seemed To LIE sleepy, Yet He Provided
Entertainment For Those Present Until
the Boat Arrived. and Then He Went
Aboard ard Disappeared.

He was fat German He looked as
If he might be prosperous saloon keep
er. lie signaiized his entrance into the
Cortlandt Street ferry house by a series
Of loud meows which sounded so natural
that the half hundred people who were
| waiting for the boat looked around for
the cats. The fat man was under the
weather. He strolled over to the steam
radiator in the center Of the room, and
in couple of minutes voices were
heard. First they were in the northeast
corner OF tho room Up near the ceiling
Some one up there seemed to be carrying
| ON an animated conversation with him
self. 1t was plain that the Some one was
German.
"Chaley," said the voice. "vod your
wife will say do you alretty. ha? You
voz one tam fool k'vick yet"
The women in the ferryhouse began to
look nervous. They gazed at the ceiling
At the spot from where tho voice SEEM
| I'd to come. Tho men were looking there
| too. Tho fat German stood by the radi-
| htor, his head over his breast, and seem
| ed to be sound asleep.
Fire! Fire! Fret cried q voice in
I the southwest corner.
Everybody jumped up. The women
grabbed the arms of their escorts. The
tat German still slept, and the voice
sounded again, this time seemingly from
the platform Of an automatic weighing
machine.
"Chakey, you vos prute! Vod for
you wand der ladies do SCARE vod? I
bunch your nose alretty."
This was somewhat reassuring Ev-
| erybody seemed to realize at the same
| instant that there was a vcntriloquist
with q big range of voice around some
where. and everybody looked at the
German. He seemed still to be asleep.
But in moment he moved uneasily.
Then he lifted the ragged stump of a
cigar he had in his hand, opened his
eyes sleopily and put the stump into
his mouth. Some fire was left in the
cigar stump, but no didn't seem to no.
| tice il. He munched or the butt as if il
wero sweet morsel Everybody was
watching him. He chcwcd perhaps a
minute Then he swallowed the stump.
and the next instant pulled n new sigar
| out Of his ear. bit off the end and light.
| ed it.
II no puy cigars" he said II maig
| dem
The crowd was nightly interested
| and gathe- ID close around. He didn't
seem to lie that. ard he snorted q.
"Vod you dink, you vools beoble2
Gauzc l nIaia II cigar you DIM: / vos q
WOOL uumaig i'd" Saying which he
put the fresh cigar, lighted as it was.
| back into his ear. He seemed to shove
it ont of sight and calmly took from his
other ear tho ragged butt that he had
aut a moment before chewed up and
! swallowed. He pulled on it. 1t was still
| lighted. One of his eyelids began
| twitching.
| "My lug vos gone," he said. II half
nails in my head ven vools loog nd me- 1"
| With the tips of his fingers he lifted
tho twitching lid and pulled cut five
inch iron spike. like those used to fasten
down steel rails.
| II vos durn do one BEIGE off iron al.
retty il you boobies dond ka'vit," he
snorted. and he pulled another spike
from the other eye. AT the same instant
the ragged butt disappeared. and in its
place was another fresh cigar. He lit
that. Next he pulled couple of yards
(: Of muslin out Of his mouth and wiped
his eyes. after which he put back the
spikes. He seemed to drive them right
into the ball Of either eye. The women
were shocked and turned away. He
pulled a whisky glass from his pocket,
bit pieces ont Of it and chewed them
with relish.
"Chentlemens. he said. II voz 'un.
cry. Cand You hcllub me:''
Thought it was q fake like that, -
said two or three Of the men in the
crowd.
We'll. it's n cold day when he gets
any Of my money" said two or three
others.
Money!" growled the fat German.
"You dink I am lige you WOOL boobies
vod cad mead mid. voz nod. l cad
baber; dod VOC cheaber. Will somepoddy
helb boor man do q biece off baber
Ziff me dod," he said, snatching an
evening paper from the hands of one OF
the men. He tore two pages from it, and
beginning on the corner Of one he stuffed
IL into his mouth and ate it. at least i,
disappeared. Then he tackled the other
page, and that went.
Poor man." said one sympathetic
woman. ''he must be hungry. But how
can he eat that stuff
| Tho second page was gone. all but a
little corner. The fat German 5 cheek
bulged. A voice over his head said
"Chakey. you've god doc much. you
voz hog"
He seized tho corner of the paper that
was sticking ont and began pulling a;
it. 1t Came in the shape Of perfect
cone, alternately red. white and blue in
color. He held his head back and pull.
ed. Still the colored cone kept coming.
II ended at about the second yard. He
handled it tenderly moment. juggled
it around. and finally turning it poin,
down stuck il down his throat. Down
and down it went, until it was out q
sight. He closed his mouth. The cigar
all this time had been missing. 1t ar'
peared now, still lighted.
r. a. H. q ~.