The state herald., 1896-06-12


welcome to use 1t.
but II Is not mine"
Never mind: use it. l choose that
you shall use 1t so long as you are de-
pendent on me. also choose you to
be thought my son. No'-he saw me
about to speak-"I will give no rea-
sons; perhaps I have none. You may
be sure that 1t will be no hinderance to
your future, being thought rich mans
son. Besides. hate changes. Now
don't talk any more. You have de-
manded; l have acceded. Go away"
Puzzled and dissatisfied. l left him
l had fully persuaded myself that had
right to claim what | had claimed
from him. 1t was also not hard for
me to learn to think that II It was Mr..
Loraine's wish that should still pass
as his son and bear his name, 1t was
my duty to do so. Besides-remember
Twas but boy, and so need not be
ashamed OF the truth-with all my as
sumed Independence, the thought Of
proclaiming my humble and unknown
parentage to my friends was gall and
wormwoOd to me. To sink from the
position which I held rs Mr.. Loraine's
son to that Of no one at all was a
change greater than I could picture to
myself with eQuanimity. So objected
no more; and as Mr.. Lorraine sternly
forbade the subjects being reopened.
my life. In spite Of Its olouded future,
went on in Its accustomed groove.
Here. to avoid any misleading. l may
say that all l ever learned about my
true parentage was what Mr.. Lorraine
told me. Who and what was my ILL
fated mother, l know no more than
know for what reason my reputed
father allowed me to be brought up as
his son.
The terms and the vacations went by.
did not. during the latter. see great
deal Of Mr.. Lorraine; nor did he press
me to spend the time at Herstal Abbey
But a certain feeling, II not of graft
tude, OF what seemed right and proper,
induced me to stay there on several oc-
casions. There was really little ap-
parent change in the relations between
Mr.. Lorraine and myself. What change
there might be was perhaps for the bet
ter. l was accepting his benefits. but
accepting them because | considered /
had right to them. Moreover, l was
determined that. when the time came,
l would be quite Independent OF his
favor. / endeavored now and again to
show him my feelings on this point;
and, in spite Of the mocking smile with
which he received my hints. do not
think he liked me the less. I am not
sure but In time a sincere friendship
might have sprung up between us; for.
whatever may have been Julian
Loraine's inner nature. when he chose
to meet any one on terms OF equality
and companionship, he could make
himself one Of the most charming men
in the world. His talk. although dan
gerous and bitter. was witty and brilli-
ant.
But time would not allow this in
cipient feeling to grow up. Just after
my twenty-hrst birthday was sum
moned In hot haste from Oxford. Mr..
Lorraine was dying.
reached Herstai Abbey Just In time.
My benefactor--yes, | must call him
so-was Just sensible. but speeches..
! bent over him and took his hand. His
fingers gave mine faint pressure.
Even at that moment wondered at
this show OF feeling, And ] wondered
at the strange look In his dark eyes.
They met mine yearningly. and knew
that the dying man had much Ia say to
me: yet, somehow, I knew II was not
about myself he wished to speak.
stopped down close to him. His dry
lips moved. but could not articulate,
lie gave a faint sigh; his eyelids flicker
ed. and all was over. Whatever were
those last words he wished to speak.
they remained forever unspoken.
rose and left him. walked to the
room which was known as Mr.. Julian's
room. and, am thankful to say. wept.
After all. this man had given me much.
But for him | might have been con-
signed to the work-house; might now
be nothing more than stone-mason's
apprentice. Julian Lorraine had at
least given me the means to start fairly
In life. Yes. he had been my bene-
factor.
My grief. II not as deep as II should
have been. was really sincere. II was
some time before began to reflect ms
to the immediate consequences his
death would bring to myself. had
money In hand. for the allowance
made me by Mr.. Lorraine had always
been an ample one-so large. indeed.
that when the truth Of my birth was
known TO me. I had asked him to re-
duce II. The rlgh, presumed to claim
fell far phort OF this. Mr.. Lorraine told
me scornfully not TO bother him about
money matters; 30 I had been unable To
follow out the plan which ] had laid
down, OF taking from him only sufiici-
cnt for my needs. Nevertheless. l had
not spent the surplus. and II would now
serve me In completing my education.
From him ] expected nothing. Who
were his heirs. or to whom his wealth
would be left. wsrr matters about which
I troubled little. Now. that Julian
Lorraine was dead. I could with full
heart thank him for all he had done
for me. Then I could resign his name.
and force my own way In tho world.
His solicitor came down and gave In
structions concerning the funeral. lie
did this at my request Knowing that
shortly I would be an allen In the
house. I would assume no RESPONSE
biiity. The only order gave was
that everything should be done quict-
iy and simply. knew tho dead mans
ideas about conventional obsequics.
The funeral over We looked for the
will would not have paper moved