The Progress., 1896-11-14
A SURVIVAL OF NONSENSE.
Some Absurditics Connected With Letter
Writing.

Writing.
Why do we write ESD" after
mans name or Mr." before it in adj
dressing letter? Why do we write
Dear Sir even in addressing the verl-
est stranger? Why do we subscribe
ourselves to all correspondents as
Yours truly" or other words to that
meaningless effect?
We do none of these things in teie-
grams, yet we do not feel that we are
discourteous to John Jones when we
address him by telegraph solely as
John Jones and sign our names at the
end Of the dispatch without any tour
ish of words Why should we not be
as direct, simple and truthful IN our
letters as in our kilograms? All THESE
practices are surviVals from an age OF
leisure, extravaganza and serVlllty or
mind. They are now an absurdlty and
costly one. More than three billion
letters are written every year in the
United States. Allowing half a min
ute as the time consumed in writing
Dear sir" and yours truly" inside,
and Mr." and Esq" outside Of each
of these letters, and allowing 300 work.
ing days of ten hours each to the year,
the people of the United States waste
in this way 1888 years of time every
year. In other words, we actually
waste the whole time of more than
5000 persons in writing Dear Sir,
yours truly" "MrA' and Esq At
the lowest calculation the time thus
wasted each year is worth ten millions
of dollars, or half river and harbor
bill. The sole purpose of the super
scription on letter is to tell the post
office people to whom and where to
deliver it. All that is necessary for
that purpose is to write the name and
address, 81. Wintersmith, "a John st.,
New York city," completely fills the re-
quirement. All else is waste. There
is no occasion to tell the postman that
J. Wintersmith is clergyman by writ
ing "Rev." before his name, or that he
is a woman and unmarried by writing
Miss" there, or that ]. w. aforesaid
is a married woman, or has been, by
writing Mrs" But we have worse
habits than these In addition to the
meaningless Mr." and the absurd
ESQ.," we are constantly addressing
men as Hon." or "Col." or Rev"
Why do we do it? AS every little
politician who gets himself elected an
alderman or a member of the legisla-
ture is thenceforth forever called
Hon." why should anybody think
it a requirement of courtesy to address
so Justly distinguished man as
William L. Wilson, for example, as
"Hor. w. L. Wilson," We do not
epeak Of Hon. Thomas Jefferson or
Hon. Daniel Webster. Military titles
titles are necessary in military life
In addressing a general or a colonel
in the field an indication of his rank
helps to find him, and perhaps it helps
discipline, too. But why should we
20 on calling men colonel, general,
major and the like long after they have
retired to civil life, merely because
they held such rank in the volunteer
forces of thirty-odd years ago or be-
cause some governor has appointed
them to his staff? We do not speak
or think of Gen. George Washington
or Gen. Hannibal or Gen. Julius Gaze
sar. Still worse is the title gratui-
tously conferred, the honorary" title
of colonel and the like. There are tens
of Thousands of "colonels" in this
country who never commanded a squad
and Judges" who never sat on any
bench or read a page Of law. 1t is all
falsehood and fummery. AS an hon
est self-respecting people, why should
we not rid ourselves of it: "Mr." is
convenient when the first name of the
person addressed or referred to is not
used. So are Mrs" and Miss" in
like circumstances. All the rest are
leather and prunella," which is the
poets phrase for stuff and nonsense