Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1896-11-20

Speaking of masonry reminds me of a
story Joliet told me some time ago which
he said happened to his father. You all
know Joliet, although not under that
name. Well, it seems his father kept one
OF those establishments where people 20
on election nights, and for that matter
on other occasions. For some time the
house did a good business i'll cigars and
the usual medicated waters that they sell
at those places of resort, but suddenly
there was marked decrease, not i'll the
number OF frequenters, but in the sales.
Men would come in and sit around the
stove and shake for drinks and smokes
and then go out and get them elsewhere,
and even return and puff their cigars in
the proprietors face. This of course ra-
Their troubled Joliet and he inquired the
reason of such mysterious conduct. They
told him that they coHld not conscienti-
ously trade with him as he did not be-
long to The Order. Well Joliet cogitated
for some time and then decided to join.
They received his application favorably
and initiated him. First they shaved
his head and eyebrows, then they turned
the fire hose on which was to teach him
his helplessness and the cold heartedness
OF the world. They then applied the
stomach pump that he might feel the
bitter pangs of hunger and learn to be
charitable to all men, and finally they
tied his legs around his neck that he
might understand the anguish of heing
hopelessly crippled. Then they taught
him the grand hailing sign of distress.
took away all his money and pronounced
him full fool y member.
Joliet opened his house the next morn
ing with a gay heart. Business he
thought would now revive and he would
make fortune. Sure enough his GUS
toners soon began to appear, and then
he had another initiation. Brown came
first and approaching the bar gave the
sign OF distress and whispered GIN
Sling" Soon after Smith appeared,
gave the same sign and muttered hoarsely
Rhine Wine and Seltzer." Jones arrived
before Smith had finished and he also
was iii distress, and i'll fact could only
be relieved with Mint Julep." And so
they went on all day; every member of
that order was in hopeless poverty and
needed drink.
If Joliet had cogitated before joining
THE Order" he meditated still more seri-
ously that evening, in fact he lay awake
half the night and then an idea came to
him and he slept the sleep of innocence.
Early on the following morning he left
his hotel unopened and wendell his way
to the business place of Brown, provi-
sion merchant. He gave the grand hail of
distress which was ackno wledged, but
when he proceeded to appropriated ham
the language Brown used was not of the
choicest. Joliet next approached Smith,
who was in the gentleman's furnishing
line. Here he picked out new hat and
several silk ties, and then taking out his
pocket book discovered its emptiness to
Smith, and instead of cash gave the ON
npotent sign and bolted for his life. BY
noon all the brotherhood had been visit
ed and Joliet viewed the spoils. Pota-
toes, coal, furniture, jewelry, clothing
books, and every conceivable article OF
commerce was in his possession and he
felt satisfied.
But that was the end of the order as
far as Joliet was concerned. A special
meeting was called and by an unanimous
, vote of the brethren Joliet was expelled.