New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-07-08
STORIES OF ST ETSl)N,

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ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING MEN
EVER IN THE SHOW BUSINESS
An ignorance Whose Depth and Breasith
Made It Highly Entertaining stetson
Was Source Of FINN Ontsids Of The
atrical Circles IS Well A. WITHIN Them.
There is a man born now and then
with a sort Of humorous silver spoon in
his mouth. Uninterrupted good fortune
as a humorist smiles on him through
life, and that, too. with no seeming
effort of his own. He somehow acquires
an early reputation for saying or doing
funny things, which, once gained, moth
ing can take. away Ali the Jokes in his
line of his generation. and otter some
OF earlier and later generations, are
credited to him, aEl; nobody cares to
dispute the homer Collectors of Jokes
are ready to accept. JOG Miller as Joe
Miller. but no literary scholar believes
that he originated all the jests in his
alleged book Any body car think for
himself Of two Or three similar examples
in the present half century, and, even
SO, it is not likely that John Stetson
ever really said all or half the amusing
things that were attributed to him
They were good stories, some Of them,
and they We're told Of Stetson, just as
the story of fiddling while Rome burned
was told Of Nero, not because they were
true, but to show what kind Of man
Stetson was.
The stories which it was thought
proper to fix upon John Stetsoh were
those which exhibited any broad, COM
prehensive and picturesque ignorance.
He was an ignorant man no doubt-ig-
norant enough, perhaps, to say all the
things that it was ever said that he
said, but the chances are that he did
not say them all. But the stories are
none the worse for: that. Years ago
Sophocles' ''Gdipus Tyrannus'' was
played by the students Of Harvard col
lege and excited great comment through
evening at a dinner at which Stetson
was present, and he cheered the com
pany by announcing that he had con-
tracted with Sophocles for the writing
of a new play to be produced by him
the following season. <%..@@-
This story belongs in the same class
as a somewhat more elaborate one.
Stetson once took possession of a new.
theater and discovered in the lobby a
picture that did not meet his artistic
taste. ''Take that picture down. he
said.
''But, Mr.. Stetson,' somebody re-
monstrated, @'that picture was painted
by Michael Angelo
Michael who?" said Stetson.
Michael Angelo"
well, take it down." said Stetson,
land discharge Angelo. I won't have
any of these foreign scene painters
around my theater; FIN going to en-
ploy Americans.
This SO amused lose who heard it
that they at once told the incident to
friends of Stetson and themselves, and
among them was Jack Haverly, the
famous negro minstrel manager. Hav-
erly did not laugh when he heard it,
but simply looked puzzled. He thought
for a few moments, and then faint
smile came into his face, and he said.
''Oh, yes, I see; there ain t no such per-
son as Michael Angelop' .a,
This answer was thought good enough
to take back to Stetson, who, it was as
sumed, must have taken pains in the
meantime to inform himself of the his
tory of art sufficiently to understand it.
"What do you think, Stetson?'' said his
friend. 1--WE have told Jack Haverly
what you said about Michael Angelo,
and he said, oh, see; there amt no
such person as Michael Angelo'
Stetson looked blank in his turn for q
moment and then received his own little
illumination as to the humor of the
thing. "Why, the ignorant old fool, :"
he said; ''of course he ought to have
said, There isn't any such person as
| Michael Angelo - ,a. ...-z '.r-.-- r..
This story again recalls another with
! a similar touch in it. The conversation
once turned on a clever passage in w.
J. Florence's old play, The Mighty
Dollar" in which Bardwell Sloat ex-
poses his Ignorance by referring to a
hackman whom he had encountered in
Venice. Eyes," said Stetson, that is
clever; Of course they don have hacks
in Venice; it's such slow place they
don't have anything but. omnibuses and
mule carts 30 This fable found it's way
into print again. only a few weeks be.
fore Mr.. Stetson' s DEATH
"What do you think of So-and-so?''
Stetson asked of friend, naming one
Of the actors Of his company. He meant
to ask what his friend thought of the
way the actor was playing the part in
which he was then engaged, but the
friend supposed that he meant to ask
what manner Of man he thought him.
So he answered, He's we'll enough,
only he seems to me to be little too
pedantic. -
This struck Stetson as a good word,
and he stored it up in his memory for
future use. A few days later, when he
met the actor, he said, ST was in front
Watching Won last night and thor1 phf