davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26

pITH AND POINT.

Al hear you are deaf to your
creditors" BLOW could il be othef-
wise? I'm oveB my ears in debt.".Tit.
Bits.
--Himmins-''I believe Farlowe would
sell his soul for $1,000" Simmons III
don't. Whatever his faults may he he
is no bunko man" Jour
nal.
Making His Mark She-"Ha-e you
heard that our minister is to be tried
for heresy?" He-"Yes. 1t is quite a
distinction for SO young u man.
Brooklyn Life.
Then you mean to tell me I'm a
liar?" swell, no. don't wish to be
quite SO rude as that, but will say
this--you'd make dashed good weather
prophet. Judy.
The Real Article.-"Unclc Simon,
what's an orator." "He's man who
can get people to stay in room and
hear him talk without having the door
locked" Record.
-Midgley-"Sad about Kent, wasn't
it?" Young - ''What was that?''
Midgley-"Why. you know. he attempt
ed to make love to Boston girl. ."
Young-"Yes?" Midgley-"Well. he
caught pneumonia and died."-Phlla-
delphia North American.
-"I once knew a man." said the
imaginative boartler, "who was 50 tat
that he was actually taller lying down
than when he was standing up. What
do you think of that?" ut strikes me. v
said the Cheerful Idiot. ''as pretty tall
lying."-Indianapolis Journal.
Your son. believe, made some ex-
periments while at college?" "Yes, he
discovered what he calls his scientific
paradox "What is the nature Of it? -
"He succeeded in demonstrating that
debts are expanded by contracting
them. m."-Washington Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26

perhaps you can guess my mission. :
said the reporter. after the statesman
had read the pro&ered card. 'I have
called to ascertain what sort Of money
you are in favor of
The statesman opened the door.
looked out. closed the door again.
locked it. pulled down the windows anil
whispered in the ear of the waiting
newspaper man: Campaign funds. -
Cincinnati Enquiries.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
WOMEN AS GYMNAsTs.
Like the BALLET Girl, They Must KeeI
Constantly In Practice.

Constantly In Practice.
1t requires about two years constant
practice before woman can do the
with grace in the execution. Like th.
ballet girl, the woman gymnast must
keep constantly in practice. for sh.
never realizes how many muscles AMI
Joints and tendons she has until she
begins to resume her work after holi-
day and sets all of them aching at once.
As rule women in this profession are
4 very healthy and happy lot of individ-
uals. They get a great many bumps
aud bruises and the tender skin of their
hands is painfully burned with the
ropes, and they have to deny them
selves something in the line of indigest-
ible food. You can't hang by your feet
with lump like lead in your stomach.
and no hearty meals may be eaten be-
fore a performance.
The most serious permanent effects
seem to be noticeable in the action OF
the heart, owing to the nervous strain.
and the nerves of the eyes. 1t isn't ex-
actly natural to hang by your feet or
spin your body round like wheel. AMI
seems after awhile to produce near
s;ghtedness and general imperfection OF
vision.
The average age of gymnasts is S.
years, but it is rare to see woman
follow the profession after she is IS.
They depend largely upon the mnsic
to inspire them and aid them in the
performance CT any feat. and directly
they hear the band playing to their per-
formance they seem to forget all fear
and to be transformed into machines
operated by the rise and fall and bea.
of the notes.
The professional gymnasts find their
most famous prototypes in Leona Dare.
the ''fying queen. who went into train
ing when n mere child and was celebra-
ted for more than 20 years for perform
ing feats no other woman and very few
men would dare attempt, and in Azelia.
the first female trapezist who ever ap-
peared ON the bar. the novelty Of whose
performance and the grace and supple
ness of whose slender form aroused
unbounded admiration and called forth
a storm of applause from her audiences
and produced many imitators Of her
aerial acts. which in themselves were
neither particularly skillful nor daring.
Then there IVES Jennie Price, who was
the first to fly through the air and be
carght by her husband from another
swinging trapeze. This trick always
produces great applause. but il requires
only nerve and complete control OF
the muscles OF the chest.-Pcarson's
Weekly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
w. g. KENTZEL, Editor
BETTER LAUGH.

Ef you feel ike bein blue,
Better laugh:
Saghs won't bring sunshine to YOU
Better laugh.
on catn't conquer fate with frowus
N fight OF fifty rounds;
So in all yer ups an dowrs
Better thing to do. by half.
Is jist to laugh
When yer burdens hard to bear
Better grin.
Curses amt no cure for care,
Better grin.
When your team at crter pull
Balks. don't git onr,ercifrl
An slash and splash aroun' Fer you'll
Find the surest way to win
Is jist to grin.
When you think OF cussin', don't!
Better smile.
When 'skeeters bite ard fishes won't.
Better smile
VI yer hook an line gifts stuck
On the limb. ur some bad luck.
Only way to show yer pluck,
Stead NV grumblirg ell the while.
Is jisf to smile.
ALFRED Ellison, i'm Chicago Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
THE OCCUPATION


O0t Of C0War0Iy 10lbahla Sood Soeoboeo
Have Been Made.
It Is doubted whether even British
energy could build up "a native Egyptian
army. The officers, it 10 said, might
make good regiments Of the blacks who
passed their lives in fighting. but you
cannot carve up rotton wood, and the
fellahin, born in the mud of tropical
delta. and enslaved for ages, had lost,
il they ever possessed, the Arab courage,
and could no more be drilled into fight
ing men than Bengalese or the Indians
Of Peru. Egyptian troops would be
perfect regiments for parade. being the
most q edient and orderly Of mankind.
but would be useless in the field.
Those who hold this opinion were
able to justify it. for they could quote
the astounding cowardice Of Gen. Hicks
army, in which whole regiments, moved.
we fancy, as much by superstition as
by fear, threw down their arms, fel!
on their faces before the dervishes. and
begged as w-Musrs.lmans for their
lives. The British officers, however.
worked on; they gained hope from
the behavior of their men in some petty
skirmishes, and at last their young
chief, Gen. Kitchener, trusted the fel-
lahin frankly in the field at Firkeh.
The Egyptians, who had been well
fed, well treated and thoroughly dis
ciplined, responded to the call. They
not only did not fly. but they charged
as well as the Soudanese. ''who are born
fighters" and the last doubt as to their
efficiency in actual hand-to-hand fight
ing disappeared. Good treatment and
steady discipline had in the course OF
years restored their confidence in them
selves and in their officers. and they
showed themselves the equals of men
who for generations have dcspised them
ms "tame Arabs"
That is triumph for British organi-
ration, with its persistence, its .enity
and it's almost automatic justice. and
it is . triumph, too, for British honesty
of purpose. 1t is not our interest to
make good soldiers of the fellahin.
for the instant conclusion of the conti-
nent will be that if the Egyptians can
defend themselves the main argument
for the British occupation of Egypt
disappears.
1t was not cur business, however, to
consider that danger, but to show that
even in the creation of native army
British administration was. as a gov
ernor general of Java once described
it, 1.-THE most vivifying despotism the
world has ever seen, and that the work.
which has taken Il years, was carried
on patiently and steadily until the very
nature of the conscripts seemed
changed, and Arabs of the delta charged
victoriously upon the most renowned
fighters of the Arabs of the desert. The
born children Of Misr, where for 1000
years no man.has been free, disciplined
end led by British officers, scattered
the descendants of the shepherd kings
in a charge.
That. apd not the victory itself. is
the thing for Englishmen to be proud
of. for no one who reads of it, not tine
most satirical stroller of the Partisan
boulevards, can afterward say. at least.
If he knows anything of history. that
the British occupation has debased the
Experimentation Spectator.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
A. Ill.rimea Laugh.

eyes, sir" said the man who had &C
.ompanied an arctic expedition, with
the mercury at 60 below walked II
miles over the shifting foes. What do
you think of that?''
"Pretty cold feat" said the thought
less youth in the corner. Then the
thoughtless youth laughed at his own
thoughtless joke.
young man." remarked the aged
listener. ''he who runs might read that
you are not married man"
"Why. NO. I'm hot" admitted the
youth.
'If you were," continued the ancient
file. you wouldn't indulge in hyena
laughs over vicious attempts at humor
based on the misfortunes Of married
mcn. Alas!" added the old philoeo-
pher. ''how few boys Of the present
generation remember that their fathees
were married men.--Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
Coneeit All Gone.

Old Gent-Let me see. Yes, / met
your nephew five years ago. and il yon
must know the truth, was disgustesl
with him-such a vain, conccited, in
sufferable puppy never saw in my life.
Old Neighbor-Oh, he's changed COM
rlctely now. He's the most modest man
you could find in days journey-h,.
doesn't believe he knows anything.
"You don't say so! Well. now think
of it, when l met him he was q college
sophomore"
ayes, and now he's q graduate. and
trying to earn his own living."-N. Y.
Weekly,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
The Old, Old Story.

As that fiuttering little hand crept in
to his, his fingers closed about it caress-
ingly. He felt now that he could face
any odds. He had 10 struggle to re-
frain from shouting aloud in the mad
of his new-found JOY. New
ertheless. he assumed an expression Of
profound disgust and cunningly simu-
lated hesitation, as he sweetened the
jack pot with single red chip.-N. Y.
prees.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
Al Unkpovn Tribe.

Mcplaho is the name of tribe of
Mchammedans which forms q fourth
part Of the population of the Malaba-
coast of South India. They are sup
posed to be descendants Of Moors and
Arabians who established themselves
ON the coast and intermarried with ma
tive women. Some years ago there weye
about COO 600 Of them.-N. Y. Sun.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
P.sl Rsversfs Tswss.

Il il saddening for the patriotic
tourist, after he has gazed with -sver-
ence at the towers Of old Christ church.
to be told that he il not seeing the orig
inal windows from which Faul Revere
hung out his. lanterns, but . copy, the
real tower having been blown down
in the great gale Of 1904. However.
there are plenty Of genuine relies I'M
side-whcrc the vast majority ol B0s-
ton never 60. There are still TIE old
deep window seats. the balcony sur
rounding the church. with its support
ing pillars and upper arches; the top
Slaves gallery" and the antique pcws.
The bottom Of the ancient pulpit ef
hour-glass shape Il left u. but the top
was given away by the church ol3cisls
IN 1890. The clock under the rail has
told of the fight Of the man with the
scythe for $50 years; the @vipe9ar
Bible" prayer books and silver CONF
munion service bearing the royal arms
were gifts from King George II. in
17s3; the huge christening basin eame
from . parishionef IN 1870. Theuarble
bust Of Washinston against tie veil
waS the earliest memorial eseceed n
the Fsthsr Of hist Country. havin9 bcen
placed IN position but ten yeoss aftes
hin death.-Bogton T5ayelef.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
IT SLIPPED HIS MiNo.


IAN Johns0a s4Cl0aa R0Rg0t'' That He
Was . Marry Liaas.
A colored man about 80 years of age
drove up to the depot with load Of
baled cotton, and he had just begun to
unload when an old gray-haired negro
with a bad limp came down the street
and shouted at him:
''Say. yo' pusson dere!"
'Now, den, what sorter man be yo' -
demanded the old man, as he reached
the wagon.
Hello, Uncle joel" saluted the othe..
"Hu! What yo' mean by dat?"
''Of co'se l ar. Why, ole man, you's
all excited dis mawnin'. What's de
mattah?'
''Sam johnson. Use got dsrter, Lin
da!" replied Uncle Joe, and he straight.
ened up and waved his arms about.
eyes, Of co'se. Yes, sab. you's got a
darter, Linda, an she's powerful fine
gal"
Last Sunday night. Sam johnson,
yo' axed dat gal, Linda, to marry yo'l''
'.Hu! Hu! Sunday night? Lemme
see. Say, I reckon did"
''Of co'se you did! She said she'd do
it. an de marriage was sot fur dia
mawnin'!"
"Why, I reckon it was, Uncle Joe.
Yes, we was to be married dis mawnin'.~ =
"But yo' amt dar. sah!"
Oats . fac. Jist clean slipt my
mind"
But what yo' gwine to do. sah-what
yo' gwine to do?" shouted the old man,
as he danced around.
"What gwine ter do? Am Linda al
ready an de preacher dar?"
Eyes, sab"
>"Den yo' cum around heah an hang
On to dat mewl an hold him stiddy ar
I'll run ober an marry Linda an Ic
back heah in ten minnits. II Najah
Jones comes long an wants to know
Why dis cotton hain't dun unloaded yo'
tell him dat, OWN to diareckoleck.
shun Of matrimonial disremembrancc
Use had to procrnktipate fur . few
mlnnits!"L Cincinnati Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26

A statistician has learned that the au-
nual aggregate circulation of the pa
pers of the world is calculated to be r.
O0O, ,0O0. GOO copies To grasp any idea
of this magnitude we may state that it
would cover no fewer than 10. .45O square
miles of surface; that it is printed on
7s1.esO t,ns of paper. and. further, that
II the number II, ,OO0, 900, 600 represented,
instead Of copies. seconds. itwould take
over 3ss years for then, to elapse. In
lieu Of this arrangement we might press
and pile them vertically upward TO
reach our highest mountains. Topping
all these, and even the highest Alps. the
pile would reach the magnificent alti-
tude Of 400. or. in round numbers, 500
miles. Calculating that the average
man spe nds Ave minutes reading his pa
per in the day (this il . very low esti-
mate), we find that the people Of the
world altogether annually occupy time
equivalent TO 100000 years reading the
papers. Buffalo Commercial.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
The naS1y L,s,sast.

Macbeth Simmons il never 50 happy
- when he has got lawsuit on hand.
He il everiastingly suing somebody or
being sued. Not long since he met his
lawyer, who said:
"I've got bad news. The court 0f
appeals hls decided against N. We havU
lat the ee."
'sNevef mind losing that ease,s re-
nlied Macbeth. I've got two new ones
since saw you last, and my brother-int
law II talking about anotheF."-Texas
Sitter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
THE ECHO OF A WINK.
Ths Newly lnvented Phonendoseope -
Its Application.

Th0 Newly Invented Ph0nendooe0po ana
Its Application.
The newly-invented phonendoscope
is designed to be used by physicians
and surgeons for detecting the pres
ence of disease by sound.
The instrument consists of a circular
fat metal box or tympanum, havhg on
its one surface two apertures for the at
tachment of the rubber ear tubes, while
the other surface ia formed by q thin
disk which is readily thrown into vi
bration. The best results are obtained
by simply applying this disk to the sur
face to be examined. BY an ingenious
contrivance q second disk can be super
posed upon this one and vulcanite
rod attached to the former, 20 that the
area of auscultation may be extremely
circumscribed. The conduction of the
sounds is only slightly diminished by
the use of this rod, which thus combines
the principles of the solid steth0scopc
with that of the tympanum. The rod
furnished with the instrument is about
two inches in length, but it is stated
that there are other rods of variable
lengths to enable the 'sphonendoscop-
list" to receive sound vibrations from
the natural cavities which communicate
with the exterior Of the body. Alto
zether, we consider the instrument
highly ingenious. says the Lancet, care
fully and compactly constructed. useful
as an aid to auscu:tation. but yet not
likely to entirely supersede the use Of
the stethoscope. 1t may also be foun1
useful in class demonstration. since II
would be easy by means of branchesl
tubes to enable several persons to listen
ut the same time.
The instrument would be particular
" useful for the following purposes:
1. The sound of the respiratory organs,
of the circulation of the blood and Of
the digestive organs in the healthy
body ~ wcll as in the sick subject.
2. The sounds made by the muscles,
JOINTS and bones. 3. The sound of the
capillary circulation. 4. The slightes:
sounds produced in any diseased con-
1ition of the body; hence it is possible
to draw on the tody dimensions, the
position or any alteration in the po-
sition Of the various organs and of the
fluids which have gathered in the most
important cavities of the body. 5. The
sounds in the ear, the eye, the bladder,
the stomach and the intestines-Phila-
delphia Record.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
STRANGER THAN FICTION.
Rifle Bullets May He Rendered HaFmlee
by the Use Of . Dynamo.

Rifle Bullets May He Rendered Harmless
by the Use Of . Dynamo.
The journal de Gcnevc gives some
startling details respecting the dcfiec-
tion of steel projectiles by electricity.
1t will be remembered that DR.. Conan
Doyle, in the Stark Monro letters, at
tributed an invention to his crazy hero
for DETECTING shots from vessels by
means of accumulators at the stem and
stern. That which appeared inproba-
ble now seems to be easy of realization
at least, il the facts stated by our
contemporary have not been misappre-
hended. They are as follows:
"The committee of the federal rife
meeting at Winterhour has made a
curious discovery while summing up
the results of the last course. The
greater number of the hits on the tar.
get fired from the right side of the
range were marked on the right of the
bulrs-eye, while those fired from the
left of the range were almost exclusive
ly on it's left. Moreover, all projectiles
partly or wholly constructed of steel
had become magnetic. These facts
suggested various theories, and among
them it was suggested that the diver
sion of the bullets might be dne to the
numerous electric and telephone wires
extending along both sides of the range
at Winterhour. Fresh experiments
at the range of Berne and Thun con-
duced to this conclusion. The authOri-
ties. at Thun seem to have little or NO
doubt on the subject.
AT Thun authorities established
parallel with the rifle range, at dis
tance of IA little more than 40 yards. an
electric current of 5000 volts, carried
along four steel cables. With view of
tracing the whole effect paper circlets
were placed at every ten yards. The
first experiment was made with the
Swiss model rifle of 1889. With this
the influence Of the electric current
was apparent. In a distance of 2S0
yards the bullet took = lateral deviation
Of ~ yards, and after that the curve Of
the trajectory was still more marked.
The second experiment was made with
the japanese 3.32mm. rifle of Col.
Yamagata, and it was still more decis-
i've, the bullet being rapidly attracted
to the electric wire, and following its
course with absolute servility. Fur
ther attempts were made with artillery.
The range selected was one Of 5,OO0
yards. and 200 yards in front of the
targets, but 40 yards to the side. was
placed the electric battery. Every
shot was diverted by its influence far
to the side of the target-to he exact.
the deviation was one of II degrees.
"The conclusion drawn from these
experiments are that a section of in
fantry exposed to fire at 800 yards
would enjoy complete safety if q
dynamo or accumulation were placed
IN its flank; . whole company would
lie in the same security at 500 yards,
and artillery fire could be rendered in
nocuous at 1000 yards. If these facts
are sound, the new small-bore rife is
doomed. and we shall! have to return to
the heavy bullet of lead, because it is
unaffected by electricity. But to mill
tary reformers this will signify a re-
pulse along the whole line. Y. Her.
aid.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26

The clevercss vioIinist was PaGanini.
He seemingly accomplished the impos-
sible with the violin, could inspire any
emotion he desired in his auditors and
was able to play intricate melodies
- . single string:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26
a DiDealt Feas.

A woman's rights organ calls on the
women to stand close'y shoulder to
shoulder in order to obtain their rights.
We don't see how this :s possible with
the present fashian 10 sleeyes.-Texas
Site.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26

The first monarch to bear the title
King OF England was Egbert. king OF
Wessex. who. having subduetl the other
states Of the heptarchy, established his
dominion over the whole English toT-
Fl1ory.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-09-26

Men who have had great dcDl Of ex-
,erience learn not - lose their temper.
-Cheybulie8
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1896-07-29
Ano ther Competitive Examination.

Furman University, Greenville, S.
c., offers to your county fifty dol
lar scholarship for the session Of
1867. The appointment is to be
decided bya competitive examination
conducted by the County School
Commissioner at your county seat,
on Friday. August 21, 1896.
The branches which will be covered
by the examination are: English
Grammar and Composition, Arithme-
tic entire, Algebra through qnadrat-
les, and elementary Latin.
The competition is open to young
women as we'll as to young men.
For catalogues or any further in
formation, address
Charles L. Durham,
Secretary of the Faculty,
Furman Unity, Greenvilie, S. G.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1896-07-29
Barbecue at Amick's.

The cue at Amick's ferry on Fri
day was largely attended from both
sides of the river. Candidates, S.
L. Smith, j. 81. Counts, S. P Shum-
pert, J. II. Koon, j. w. Dreher, D.
J. Griffith, VIM. J. Thurnond, Isaiah
Haltiwanger, Paul E. Hutto, W. l..
K. johnson, H. A. Spann and G. /.
Morgan made their bow, and spoke
at more or less length. Several other
candidates were on the ground but
did not mount the platform. -,
The speakers were introduced by
Prof. Lindler in very pleasant way,
and the speeches wero well received,
interspersed with questions and
satisfactory answers.
The day was .oppressiyely hot, but
the dinner was fine and aside from
the heat was e very enjoyable day.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1896-07-29
Free Scholarship.

Ambitious young men should not
forget the competitive examination in
the court house tomorrow for a
scholarship in the South Carolina
College.
There will also be at the same
time and place an examination for
two scholarships in the Winthrop
Normal school at Rock Hill, ior
young ladies. These scholarships
are worth $44 in cash besides free
tuition, and this opportunity to oh
tain a first class education is we'll
worth trying for.