The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1896-04-10
GLIMPsEs OF LIFE.



A Lovers FOrethought.
That young man will make his
mark in this world. His forethought
is wonderful, " said one San Antonio
gentleman of another
What is remarkable about him?"
why the very day he popped the
question he stepped into a lawyers
Office to know what divorce suit
would cost. He is, indeed, Il re-
markable young man, and never
makes mistake without stopping to
consider the cost
| working for u Percentage.
A Texas gentleman told his colored
cook.
Matilda if you will bring back the
right change from market every morn
| ing I'll give you IA dollar month ex
ira.
''No sab, | don't keer to work on
salery in dis line oh business but
mout be willing ter take percentage
you act on de squar. :"
No Fixed Wages.
pplicant-No. | didn't git no
fixed wages where ! was last. |
worked on time.
Business Man-Were you discharged?
Yes, sir | expected to he there
for years but they discharged me in
three years for bein' good
That's strange. Where did you
work.
- In the penitentiary
The Modern Way oft.
Detective Madam, | have tracked
your husband down, and put in your
hands the documents which will pro
cure your instant divorce. My price
is one thousand dollars.
Belle tindignantly Sir | have no
husband. | am not married, and new
err was.
Detective-Then with this evidence
you need not hesitate any longer.
Matrimony can have no terrors for you.
Discovered.
II learned to thrum bit at Har
ward, you know"
"Oh, Of course Jack said you learned
ed something or other there, and
couldn't imagine what it was.
Mother docking over her sons col
lege expenses II don't see why Viii
liam expenses should be so much more
this year than last Father a forAer
CoIItS idl - wen, YOU sce tIe poiiCe
fines are higher after the first offence.
Puck
Your verses are very good, MISC, y
said the editor in his kindest manner,
"but we cannot possibly use them.
Our columns are too crowded. y Can't
you leave out some of that stuff you
publish under the head of 'WantedY' "
suggested the poetess. at is very un
interesting. Chicago Tribune.
as Mrs Smith at homer asked the
caller. physically, madam, returned
the educated servant, ''she is. As an
abstract question, the fact connot be
denied. But in relation to your desire
to see her, | cannot saw definitely I'M
til | have ascertained Mrs. Smith 9
wishes in the matter. Pray be seated
until | receive advices from above.
Philadelphia Times,
st. Peter Who is that kicking up
that row over there?Angel-Oh, it's that
free silver man who just came up. He |
refuses to play on gold harp. Texas.
She glided into tine office ard quietly
the EDITORS desk.
Il have written poem she be- |
gan.
well !" exclaimed the editor, with a
look and tone intended to annihilate, |
but she wouldn't annihilate worth |
cent, and resumed:
II have written poem on My |
Fathers Barn and
.'Oh Uninterrupted the editor, with ex-
sauvity, you don't know
how relieved feel. So it's a poem
written on your fathers barn. l thought
it was written Gu paper and that you
me to publish it. If | should
ever happen to drive past your fathers
barn I'll stop and read the poem. Good
afternoon, miss. y
What is here to see at the the
theaters tonIght?" asked the man from
the country His city friend sighed
"A large hat, with four ostrich
feathers, enameled buckle, a cluster
of roses and several jeweled hat
pins he said. BE sure and take
your opera glasses, for then you can
the minor details of the
New York Tribune.
Aunt Maria-"Did he ever say any
thing which would lead one to think
that he wished to make you his wife?"
Phoebe-''Yes indeed. Why only to-
day he said that nothing was SO be-
coming to me as calico. Boston Trans
cript.
1t is easy to attract the masses with
free food and coffee, said the mission
airy worker, but the attracting of the
young men of the-er-better classes
is a problem of much more depth.
Try free skirt dances and cigarettes.
suggested the man who is nothing
Cincinnati Enquirer.