The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-11
BILL NYE'S OLD FUN.
SOME OF THE SKETCHES THAT HELP
ED TO MAKE HIS FAME.

How tho Interstate Commerce Bill Killed
or II Cutc Little Railroad Pass-The
True Story of Damon and Pythins--Bill
Nye and His Famous Mule Boomerang.
BY Permission of Mrs. Edgar ". Nyel
In 1887, when the interstate commerce
law took effect, Bill Nye wrote the fol-
lowing humorous letter from Hudson,
Wis.
arrived here last week just little
ahead Of the biting blasts of the j. G. b.
BY the i. C. b. mean to imply the in
terState commerce bill.
1 noticed while en- route that the new
law hnd stimulated travel 70 wonder
full degree. On my way from the south,
where was during the winter, noticed
that the sluggish arteries of trade had
already begun to palpitate, and crowds
of people filled the cars OH every train.
said to myself, congress has Mt last
solved this great question of financial
stringency and broken the great dam
that held capital captive. On the Pied
mont Air line people crushed each other
together in mad attempt to travel. On
tho Richmond and Danville and L. T..
N. and g., as we'll us the l.. and N,
humanity crowded day coaches and
sleepers till the walls cracked. At Gin
cinnati l could not get n sleeping car at
all, and l had to telegraph "a hours
ahead to get one from Chicago. Every
where, as far as the eye could reach,
there seemed to be wild and restless
desire to get somewhere else. Several
companies have to put OH extra coaches
to carry the eager tourists.
l arrived here just i'll time to witness
the last moments of northwestern pass
rs its spirit took its flight. Had post
poned my journey for q single day
would have been too late.
twas still young. Life was before it.
Barely quarter of the span of its life
had been passed when it curled up and
expired. 1t was cute little thing, with
an olive complexion and large, mourn
full, upper case eyes.
A few weeks ago noticed that it did
not look we'll 1t did not complain of
illness or pain, but I thought detected
q condition on its back, and so hurried
home i'll order to be here i'll case it should
expire. As soon as the conductor looked
at it and felt its pulse he said that he
could do nothing for it, The interstate
commerce law is one of those things that
will have to be tried before we can pass
upon it, presume, though some claim
that it is going to be very difficult to
pass upon it even then. The Thought &C.
Cured to me just after the gatekeeper
pushed me back yesterday and told me
to go and get my ticket.
I then first realized what it was to be
rudely ground under the heel of cold
corporation that is devoid of heart, de-
void of soul, devoid of noble thoughts,
devoid of refined instincts, devoid of
kind impulses, devoid of milk of human
kindness, devoid of bowels of compass
sion
From force of habit walked up to
the gate with n joyous nod and the OLD |
password, only to be coldly repulsed by
the hired bouncer of this heartless, soul |
less, impulseless, milkless and bowelless |
corporation.
But the railroads will get the worst |
of it, for | know that travel Oh some of |
the lines has fallen off since April /. l |
can see it already. l have fallen off my
self since the lst of the month and 9TH |
ers will do the same.
That is not all. A friend of mine who |
runs paper, and whose pass got the |
hollow horn Oh Friday last says that his |
columns are now open to those who wish |
to complain Of the management of this |
road. He states that the first hot box |
will be duly chronicled, and that he |
will no longer close his eyes to the |
wrongs we have heretofore suffered at |
the hands of this unjust and ruthless
vampire that has been sapping tho very |
foundation Of our institutions and smear |
ing its long, dark trail with the rem |
nants of our best milk COWS, reluctant !
ly paying for them the price set at the |
tail of an unjust and enervating trial by |
a corrupt. venal and driveling jury.
He says that 1.-THE time has como for |
the press TO arise and assert itself" and |
when the train runs off the track and |
kills lot Of people who have led exem-
plary lives his paper will hereafter tell |
why and how it was done. Heretofore !
he has not had sufficient help in the Of
flee, he claims, and he frequently ran
short of type. but now he is going to
give ali the particulars of the first smash |
up that occurs on the road if the paper
falls into the relentless nav Of sher-
ifs sale Oh the following week.
THE TRUE STORY OF DAMON AND
PYTHIAS.
CHAPTER /.
The romantic story Of Damon and