The islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1891-1899, 1896-06-04

that case, he lncurS Only tic fepiooSn
of deserving his helpmeet during ner
Deriod of greatest tribuiatIon, put saves
himself for a week from the humiila-
tion of feeling that he is OF little less
consequence than the scrub-woman
and a little more in the way than a
sore thumb.
Although aware that the preliminary
symptoms have appeared, the husband
generally learns of the outbreak Of the
acute stage by looking out of the Win
dow one morning as he is dressing and
seeing a couple of American citizens
of African descent sitting on the front
steps. An inquiry as to the purpose OF
their presence at once arouSes the livery
interest of his wife, who promptly goes
info a state of mind because she told
them to come tomorrow, instead of to-
day. and nothing is ready for them.
But, as they are here, they may as
well go to work. and so they do, and
breakfast is eaten in trembling haste
and with occasional puffs of dust
through the door leading into the par
lor, where the Senegambians are tax
ing up the carpet. The meal over, the
husband fees, and the trouble begins
in good earnest. The house is invaded
by molly throng of scrubbers, male
and female, carpet-bea ters, who tear
up the carpets and carry them away in
wagOn-loads, painters, paper-hangers
carpenters, whitewashers, plumbers
to repair the water pipes timers to
mend the cutters, all of whom bring
their bosses along to do the heavy
standing round, and tell how much bet
ter things were done when they were
learning the trade. The mistress of
the house is in her glory. 1t is her Oc-
casion. She gets her husbands last
years buster on her back, and his last
summers straw hat on her head, over
a goOd-siZed towel to keep her hair
clean, and a splotch of smut on her
nose, and thus arrayed, she marches
through the halls with the tread of
conQuering hero, and climbs the stairs
ten times an hour and gets in every
body's way and tells everybody what
to do. and says she feels like her back
would break and declares her head is
splitting, and knows she is going to
have a spell AS soon as this is over.
Its simply awful. but it's got to be
done, for if we didn't clean, what
would the neighbors think" an argu-
ment simply unanswerable. SO she
scolds her way from cellar to garrett
and bemoans her fate and tells the
servants she does not really know what
they are good for anyhow. She even
works her way into the yard where
the spading and planting and sodding
and embarrassing are going forward
under the auspices of a choice corps of
men and brethren, and gives them to
understand that what they are doing
must be done in a different way from
the way they are doing it. The fact
that she knows nothing at all about
how it ought to be done cuts no figure,
and they may feel morally sure that
to follow her directions would spoil the
Job. but they are quite accustomed to
this sort of thing. so they show their
worries in broad and pleasant smiles.
respond with mechanical "Yessum,"
and go ahead with the work exactly as
they were doing it before, in confident
assurance that she will never know the
difference
But. however pleasantly they may
smile, their hearts are full of wrath,
for housekeeping is provocative OF
moro "a and nrOfarlitv than any
other occupa ton on the earth. Every.
body engaged in it. from the scrub wo-
man who uses so much water that ii
spoils the ceiling beneath. to the master
of the house, who eats his breakfast on
a table covered with the f1otsam and
jetsam of the household furniture and
comes home at noon to find that he Is
compelled to sit in the yard. Every
body quarrels- with his nearest neigh.