davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

II hear you are very good at arith-
metic. Bobby" said the visitor pleas
antly.
Sure" returned Bobby without
looking up from his play.
well if l should tell you when your
papa and your mamm were born
could you tell me how old they are?'
asked the visitor.
Il could tell you how old pap is" an
swered the boy.
And not how old your mother isT'
The boy shook his head.
"Arithmetic hasn't nothing to do
with a woman's age" he said.-Chi-
cago Evening Post.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Heidi you ever observe what a
difference clothes make on ones mind?
Now. when l am in my riding toys,
I'm all horse: when | have on my bust
ness suit. my minds full of business;
when | get into my evening dress, my
mind takes a purely social turn.
She-And | suppose that when you
take a bath your minds an utter
blank.-Pick- Me-Up.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

That man Raincs buildcd larger than
he knew. In Newbur3. y. V, facetioUS
persons who wish to say Il Ia is i'll
toXicated. express the idea by the
words: He had Il Raines hill aboard
Incidentally the cost of acquiring il
is Il little less than in the metropolis,
and the fine is usually smaller.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

The significance of the action of the
louisville convention of club women
on the theater hat question is crafty
ing as far as it goes, but it would be
more r%eassuring if the convention were
not made up we'll bred, cultured wo-
men, who did not need to pass resolu-
tons in order to remind themselves
not to interfere with the comfort of
others.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

1t was Grandpa Aarou's ninety-ffth
of the family thought to add to the
joyousness of the reunion ana cele-
bration by letting off IA display of fire.
works.
Il guess I'm much obliged" said the
old man. but | do hope this isn't any
allusion to what | am coming to be.
fore many more years.'-Indianapolis
Journal.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03
A t'iend in Human Form.

The Club President-You all remem-
Der how Wilson, who used to come
here with Watson, used to bore us
with stories about his smart children,
and how we used to tolerate him be-
cause he seemed so happy in the tell
ing?
The Club Tin chorus)-We do.
The Club PRESIDENT have Just
learned that he is an old bachelor and
told us those yarns merely for the
pleasure of watching us squirm.
(Stunned silence)-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Mr.. Plaicede-By gosh. eff I loafed
around like you do, it would nigh kill
me. l amt happy 'less'n l got some
work to do.
Dismal Dawson-Tbat iist goes to
show what hold a bad habit will git
on a man in curse of time.-Indian'
apOlis Journal.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

An ordinary bicycle is about all that
the average citizen cares to get gay
with, and when a man mounts one of
the steam variety and pulls the throt-
tie wide open, he is pretty certain to
"scorch' right through to the other
shore.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

The mock railway collision at a
pleasure resort near Columbus, Ohio,
furnishes a new and rather startling
form of amusement. In the neal fut-
ure we will probably have a series Of
entertainments in which the cyclone
will play the star part, a few boiler ex.
plosions and steamboat collisions might
be thrown in to fill up the programme.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Some of the colleges are trying to
break up the idiotic custom of hazing
by expelling the students who indulge
in it; but this remedy will never prove
as ~eficacious as that used by a dough-
ty freshman, the other day, who well
coined the hazing committee with a
club, which he wore out on their thick
skulls before he got through With
them.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

The report that Paderewski Is suf-
fering with nervous prostration in
London will strike the musical public
with CONSERVATION. The world cannot
afford to lose Padrrewski yet. He is
one of the few modern artists about
whose genius there is no possibility
for doubt.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

For practical purposes from twelve
to thirteen miles is the range of the
most powerful Armstrong gun now
used. This distance has, however. been
greatly exceeded by Krupp's 130-ton
steel gun, which fired a shot weighing
$500 pounds a distance of a few yards
over fifteen miles. The gun cost $780,
900, and each projectile $4,75O.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Billings-I've got a safe job now.
My employer can't possibly fire me.
POlk-Why? You don't mean to say
that you have your employer in a COM
promising position?
Rillings-Not exactly; but. you see,
| am working for an asbestos com,
pany.-Philadelphia North American.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

John Whalcn. who is serving a
years sentence in the Cook county jail,
Illinois, has made a handsome and
unique picture frame from cigar
boxes. The frame is 20N24 inches i'll
size. and contains nearly 1000 pieces
of wood. beautifully carved. y COM
mon po~ckctknife and a small hammer
were Whalen's only tools.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03
Not hank Bills.

Nodd-I went up to my house last
night to stay all night and found my
wife had sem off every mattress in the
place to our summer cottage. Still, l
had Il comfortable bed.
Todd-Wherc did you sleep?
Nodd-On Il pile of fresh bilis.-NeT
York Herald.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Considering the difficulty New York
has had in enforcing her present laws,
she must feel rather a~ggrieved at find
ing that her late legislature has left
her with precisely 1908 new ones on
her bands.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03
..WclI. I've been reading about horse
don't say so
Tn On Politics.

Mrs. Plunkett-George, you know
the children missed the circus process
sion. and | really think you ought TO
take them down town Saturday morn
ing.
Mr.. Plunkctt-What for?
Mrs. Plunkett-Why. to see the Me
Kinley band wagon. Every paper that
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

"You spend money as fast as you
make it," said the solemn person.
"What will you do when the public
tires of you-go to some old ladies'
homc?'
Dear me. no. said the tragedienne.
when | get too old for heavy bust
ness | will go in for soubrcttc parts"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

All fair-minded wheelmen will ap-
prove of the vigorous n in which
the authorities of the different cities
are dealing with the bicycle scorchers.
The scorcher is a "critter'' we can get
along without.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

The new scientific name for the ex-
istence of the mosquito, that he is a
devourer of microbes, is more likely to
create sympathy for the microbe than
respect for the mosquito.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

GLOW is that feud between you and
Jim McSnifer getting on? Is it as bit
ter as cver?'
NO: the whole thing is happily end.
cd"
Il am glad to hear that"
yes: | am out on bond. and the cor,
oncr is sitting on James right now
Texas Sitter.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

ITO kiss the Barney stone" is an
nllusion to the famous stone in the
castle Of Barney. The lord of this
fortress being required to deliver it up
to the English, made so many in
genious excuses for delay that he was
finally permitted to retain his castle
for his cleverness.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

The most remarkable suicide of the
season, SO far, is that of the young
man at Bar Harbor. who smoked Il
hundred cigarettes in a single day and
then shot himself. That young nan
was hard to kill.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

81 hear that the only emotion Fizzle's
client showed before he went 10 the
gallows was on parting with Fizzie. |
am told that he actually wcpt.'
yep. He said that if he only had a
chance to kill Fizzle for the way he
managed his defense, he wouldn't mind
the mere incident of being Hanged
Indianapolis Journal.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

The Bishop ito young widOw)-My
sister, | dare say you find comfort in
the thought that you made your hus-
band happy while he livcd?"
Young widow-Yes. Poor Jack WAS
in heaven till he died.-Pick-Me-Tp.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Heidi that Miss Flyrit receive
many proposals last season at Rye
Beach?
She-Many? Why. receiving pro-
posals got to be the habit with her.
In a short time she couldn't hear a
soda water bottle pop without ex.
claiming: This is so sudden'-T0
Date.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

"Charlie,'' said young Mrs. Tucker,
'you know | always try to keep post
ed so.that | can talk with you intelli-
gently
Yes"
well. I've been reading about horse
races
You don't say So
YES. And | want to ask you one
question. Do they pick out a short
horse by measuring him from his feet
upward, as they measure a man. oil
do they measure him hOriZontally!"-
Washington Star.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Uncle Xckc from UpcreckD-Whats
that long thing that looks like a lad
der running clean up to the top of that
tall buildin'?
City Ncphew-Thnt's n fire escape.
Uncle Xekp-GoSh, Can't it escape
through the chimhly:-Chicago TIib-
unc
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Drink to the Health of the PreSi-
dent of the United states"
made me a member of the society and
a native of st. Goar from that time on;
therefore, do l disclaim T%urpentinc-
vile and all its saw mills"
Such was Smiths story to me. and |
have since looked up the custom of
which he speaks. l find that it was al
legged to have been inaugurated by
Charlemagne, and that it was discon-
tinrled in 1927, when the steamers be
gan to run. Whether the venerable
custom is about to be revived | do not
know but it certainly looks probable,
because, as 1 said, Smith has never
yet been convicted of telling a false
hood.-Detroit Free Press.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

did you ever see anything lie deep
passenger from Canada was saying.
The passenger from Maine toyed re-
fiectively with the corkscrew in his
pocket.
Not unless we except the oldest in
habitant," he replied, after a thought
full pause.-World.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03
NobIesse ObIige-Confcssion.

Parvenu-You are right. baroness,
the domestics of to-day are nc good.
You should have seer me when | was
a servant.-Fliegende Blaetter.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

"Alfred, dear. there's no help for it;
we must postpone u wedding"
"U-m-p. I'm afraid my creditors
won't stand that; I'll see them about
it.'-Fliegende Blaetter.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

willie Wobbles is very hard to
please" said the girl who is a~rtless, if
not brilliant.
What makes you think so?'
Ills behavior when he calls on me.
Whenever | play the piano he seems
to wish | would talk. And whenever
| talk he seems to wish | would play
the piano."-Washington Star.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Impatient Travelel-Er-how long
will the next train be. portah?
Portor-Heaw long? Weel, sir. all
dunno hnaw ah con saay to hauf an
inch. Happen therell be Tower or five
coaches an a engine or soa.-LOndon
Punch.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

"You were never married, I be-
lieveT"
mo; | was never married"
That's singular, isn't it?'
"No. not at all. You see. the first
time | fell in love | said to myself, III
marry her or none"
"Why didn't you marry her, them
"Well, YOU see. after | had become
better acquainted with her, | said to
myself. I'll marry zone rather than
her. Since that I've got along very
we'll with none."-TexaS Siftings.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

Pardon Me, But Have You Ever
Been in st. GOar Before!"
town on Lake Superior. He looked
across the table at me with mild sur
prise in his eyes.
"Bless you," he said, II was not born
In a lumber town, but in st. Goar on
the Rhine"
l knew by this time that Smith was
unblushing in his statements. so | an
swered with some sharpness:
"Why, you told me two years agO
that Tu~rpentineville was .your native
place."
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03
Beats Hin, to Death.

I pick up has something to say about
it.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03

The effects of the series of tornadoes
are f~ar-reaching. Musical dealers re-
port a decided falling off in the Ie'
mand for wind instruments.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1896-09-03
Changed His Mind.


"You were never married, I be-
The San Francisco call., 1896-01-10
GOVERNOR JONES.
The Malignant Cancer Is Liable to
Carry Him Away at Any
Moment,

Governor John e. Jones of Nevada, who
is lying near death at the Palace Hotel,
cannot recover, so his physicians state.
His condition was unchanged yesterday.
The disease is cancer of the stomach, as
was admitted by his physicians and as was
told in these columns yesterday.
The Governor has made his will. Sena-
tor Williams drew it up, and it was signed
in the presence of the Governors private
secretary, John G. Hanson, and others.
Governor Jones two children arrived from
Nevada yesterday morning. There have
been many inquiries as to the Governors 8
condition. He has the best attention, but
his demise is regarded as likely to occur at
any time.
1t is said all his property will go to his
wife.
The Governor has been in ill-health for
many months. He came to this City early
in the fall, thinking he might get relief by
a change of climate. He knew his disease
was stomach trouble, but did not till lately
know it was cancerous in character. He
expected over month ago to be able in a
few days TO return to Nevada.
He was feeling temporarily better. I'm
mediately afterward he had a relapse, and
he has never fully recovered from it. All
he was able to do was to come down from
his room for an hour or two at time.
The San Francisco call., 1896-01-10
THE BARRIERS ASSOCIATION.

Election of officers for the Ensuing &
Year-The Coming Ball.
The BARRIERS Association of California,
formerly the BARRIERS Association of San
Francisco, held its regular semi-annual
election last Tuesday evening in their
Hall, Alcazar building, 120 O'Farrell street.
The following officers were elected: J..
klitsch, president; H. K. Hoffman, vice
president; A. G. Wendland, recording sec
retary; II. Wahl, financial secretary; H.
Scheunert, treasurer; W. II. Wilson, trus-
tee; V. Malette, sergeant-at-arms, and P.
Hamann, employment secretary.
The installation of officers will take
place at the next regular meeting, Tues
day evening, the 18th, at O'Clock. All
members are requested to attend, in
order to secure invitations for the grand
social ball Sunday evening, the 18th.
This association is com posed of pro-
prietors and journeymen. 1t has at pres
ent membership OF nearly 400 in good
standing.
The San Francisco call., 1896-01-10
G. A. R. VETERANS.
Officers of Colonel Cass Post Installed
An Open Meeting.

Installation of new officers of Colonel
Cass Post No. 46, 6. A. r., took place at
Excelsior Hall, 2319 Mission street, Tues
day evening last. Senior Past Post Com
mander T. Curran installed the following
officers:
John O'Neil, post commander; Frank ].
Miller, senior vice commander; Hugh
Shields, junior vice commander; joan
Massey, chaplain; Edwin Kelly, surgeon;
T. Curren. Q. NJ; ]. HI. Riley, o. D.; d. ].
Donlon, 0. g.; II. j. Brown, adjutant;
and William A. Walker, sergeant-maior.
The installation was open and 200
visitors attended. The programme of
entertainment embraced these numbers:
Piano speciaIties, Mrs. frankie Schussler:
vocal solo, Miss Treakfell; variety. Miss
Clara Fex; recitation, William HI. Locke;
piano, Miss Teresa Sullivan; song, Katie
Clifford; song, Captain B. +. Hanlon:
recitation, Master Walter Riley; sleigh
bells, Miss Annie Rothber.; song, Thomas
Fitzsimmons; recitation, George w. Ar
buckle, P. F. C.;; duet, Grace Curran and
Calico Leahy; song and dance, Wyatt and
Silver recitation, Miss O'Nel; piano.
Misses O'Connor; duet, Ida and Florence
Gramton; original poem, "The Post
Meets Tonight" Past Post Comma ander ].
II. Riley.
Two hundred guests sat down to supper.
and dancing until midnight followed.
The San Francisco call., 1896-01-10
MOREHOUSE BEGINS SUIT
Demands $4,000 Damages From
the Selby Smelling Com
pany.
While Working on a Job of Painting
He Was Almost Killed by De.
fendant'S Machinery.

An action for $4,000 damages has been
brought aga inst the Selby Smelling Iand
Lead Company by Attorney John E.
Richards and Messrs. Delmas & Short
ridge on behalf OF w. H. Morehouse,
painter, who was almost killed in the
defendants establishment last Septem ber
Morehouse received his injuries while
working in the rear OF the company's gsn-
eral and assay office at 416 Montgomery
street, as one of several men engaged by
Contractor McCarty to paint the wood
work there. 1t was the last day OF the lob,
and soon after Morehouse had gone to
work in the machine-rcom. A rapidly
revolving shaft constituted part of the
machinery, and from the shaft protruded
a setscrew quarter of an inch or more,
which was invisible when the machine
was in motion.
AS the unfortunate workman had to go
very close to the shaft his clothing got
caught up by the projecting screw, and he
was suddenly dragged into the machine,
whirled around the shaft several times
and dashed against the timbers and up
rights, until finally hurled violently to the
floor. His clothing was literally torn from
his body, and he was frightfully mangled,
bruised and manned, his skull also being
fractured and his internal injuries being
most excruciating. Morehouse has been
under medical care and confined to his
bed ever since, his wife and children hav-
ing been deprived of the necessaries of life
in consequence. His physician saws his
INJURIES are Dermanent,
The San Francisco call., 1896-01-10

by some one else, he last night made full
confession. 1t is as follows:
Acting under instructions from Colonel J. s.
Young to be careful and protect the coin pack
ages deposited by guests of the Russ House in
the safe took three packages from the safe
with the intention of taking them home and
returning them in the morning.
On my wey home l took frequent drinks and
missed one of the packages and became
alarmed at the consequences. l failed to re-
turn the remaining packages.
My motive in taking the packages was wholly
in the interest of Colonel Young and nv fail
ure to return them was from fear of the conse-
quences from one being gone. A. W. SELEY.
San Francisco, Jan. 8, 1896.
Witness: ]. s. You've,
THOMAS RoURKE.
Seley will plead guilty to the embezzle-
ment, so he says, and will take whatever
penalty is meted out to him. He is now
anxious to get through with it as soon as
possible. When his sentence is served he
may be taken TO Santa Clara County and
prosecuted on two other charges.
One charge is of bigamy, for though he
already had wife ana two children when
he decamped, he afterWard met and
courted Miss Ida Shields at Los Gatos, and
was married to her at San Jose by Judge
Mcguire month ago. He then took the
name OF Charles Hildreth, by which he
was known at the time of his arrest.
The other offense was forgery. Part of
the embezzlement consisted of certifi-
cate of deposit for $500, the remaining
$1150 being in cash. When he got short
of cash he forged the name of the man to
whom the certificate belonged, and tried
to get the money. 1t was this which led
to the knowledge of his whereabouts.
Seley, after he decamped, let his beard
grow. 1t was thick and black and COW
cred his face, almost to the eyes. He wore
an old slouch hat, and his friends would
scarcely have recognized him. He is a
machlnist and was employed in a little
shop in San Jose. He and his wife were
living at the home of Mr.. and Mrs John
Young, brother-in-law and sister of Mrs.
Seley. The bride is but II years old, and
was plunged in great grief when Seley was
arrested Seley, in his statement to the
officers, claimed that his wife in this CITY
was the cause of his downfall. He said
she was addicted to stimulants and made
his home miserable.
OF course, no one believes this story
about his motives for taking tue money.
The Pacific Assurance Company, which
had insured Seley to the amount of $1,000,
has all along refused to pay this amount
TO Colonel Young. The claim was made
that Seley's guilt was not established. 1t
is said no effort was made by the COM
pany to find him, and almost none by the
police, though the latter had,two pictures
of him. Seley's hearing will probably
take place soon.
The San Francisco call., 1896-01-10
Result of the Committee Confer
ence in New York Salts
factory.
VIM. GREER HARRIsoNs VIEWS.
He ExpatiateS at Length on the
Beauties and Advantages of
San Francisco.

PORTLAND, Or, Jan. 9.-Attorney w.
W. Cotton, one OF the leading attorneys
in the affairs of the Oregon Railway and
Navigation Company, who has just re-
turned from New York, where a confer
ence Of the reorganization committee has
been in progress for several days, states
that plan of reorganization has been
practically decided upon whereby it is
thought that the Oregon Railway and
Navigation Company's affairs can be
wound up in about six months and new
company then organized and directors
elected
The plan of the new arrangement is
known to be satisfactory to the Union Pa
citic and the Oregon Railway and Naviga-
ton stockholders and bondholders.
Cotton states that the new arrangement
Is merely modification OF the plan formu-
lated and proposed by the reorganization
company last July, which was that the
trust agreement should run for fifty years.
That plan has now been changed so that
the trust agreement terminates III ten
years, or whenever 20 per cent of the pre-
ferred stock Is paid in dividends by the
company or is deposited by the common
stockholders trustee, or when the COM
mon stockholders cause a guarantee to be
given by satisfactory indemnity COM
pany, guaranteeing payment OF 20 per cent
OF the par value of the stock.