The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-12-23
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
= The pen is a mighty engine, and
it sometimes runs away with the ep-
giueer, -

diameter at the base. -
= It is a strange fact that The right
hand is more sensitive to the touch
than the left, is less sensitive than
the latter to the effect of heat or cold.
"Pop, what is promptness o.
"Promptness Well, it is a habit Of
always being on time and getting tired
to death, waiting for people who are
not.
= California has always claimedto tos
be smart State, and as her present
years mustard crop amounts to about
$1,000, 900 pounds, we are inclined to-
believe it. Fl
An Irishman was explaining to
a friend the difficulty he had going
from the station to the hotel. tsThes
streets are so crooked" he said, athas
I met myself On the way back. -.
= An abused wife inMaystick, KY,
lately secured divorce from her huss
band On the ground, as stated in tllGs
decree, that he sdid not provide her
with enough provender to keep her
organic system from :faltering. :" AZ
= Mischievous school boys Of
Mitchell, Ind, distributed crackers.
on which they had dropped bitofs
croton oil, among their fellows and
now three Of their victims are so3illg
that it is thought the sickness may
prove fatal.
= Tommy (who had just received az
severe scoldipge e"Arn I really SCI
bad, mamma ?" Mamma-stYe es, Tom
| my, you are very bad boy" Tommy
(refectively)-''Well, anyway mamma
think you ought to be real darn glad
I amt twins -
| = Mamma-"Oh, Billy Don't yodI
know it is cowardly to strike yonr lit-ii
tie brother p Billy Indignantly :
"I'm not acting like coward I'M
pretending I'm his papa, and I'm
furnishing him. "a
: "Too bad that there is no reward
for genius in this world" !" whats
the trouble now ?" "Weli, ,our friend
Jones, the poet, is shovelling coal 81
"Sorry to hear it," said the editor
"When did he die ?" sIss.i
- Our senses do not fall asleep si-3
multaneously. The eyelids are first
affected, and shut out sight !; next itol-s
lows the sense of taste then smelling
hearing and touch, the last named
being the lightest sleeper, and most
easily aroused.
= The Attorney General Of. the
State has delivered an opinion on the
| subject of county Superintendents otSI
Education, in which he gives che
| opinion that they eau take charge Of
their Offices and act as soon as they
receive their commissions and make
the required oath.
"A German recently asked Judge
Craig Biddle Of Philadelphia to excuse.
him from serving on the jury. Why ~
asked the Judge. "Well, your Honor,
| I don't understand good English. g
ooh, you will do," replied the Judge.
"You won't hear much good English
here anyhow" Amid ayeneral laugh
the juryman sat down.
DR.. Sofshue sayst linseed oil is 9
sure remedy for both hard and soft
| corns. If they are indurated and very
painful, the relief it gives in a short
time is most grateful. Bind on . soft
| rag saturated With linseed oil every
night and morning until the corn is |
removed easily and without pain. Isl
- Oscar De Wannieck, q young
French pharmacis who " serving a.
fifteen months SEMI Ice iii .Ae Albany
prison for getting money under false
pre- tense has just fallen heir to $780,
600 by the death Of his parents. De
Wanniek's wife, who was an Indian
apolis girl, stood by him through his
adversely. He was the dupe OF others.
Nine out of ten persons, if asked
what is the most sensitive part Of the
body, will reply tho tip Of the tongue,
| This is mistake. Those engaged IN
polishing billiard balls, or any other:
substances that require very high
degree of smoothness, invariably use
the cheekbone as their touchstone for
detecting any roughness.
"Did you see the beginning of
this trouble 2" asked the police Judge
| Of a witness against 6. man who had:
struck his wife. "Yes, cir; | saw the
yery commencement of the difficulty.
It was about two years ago. sTwo
wears ago p eyes, sir. The min.
lister said: will you take this man to
be your lawful husband, and she said:
| I will. >"
The wife of Mr.. y. Robinson, a
prominent lumberman of Hartwick,
n. Y, was sick with rheumatism for
five months. In speaking Of it, Mr.
Robinson says: "Chamberlain's Pa
Balm is the only thing that gave her.
any rest from pain. For the relief Of
| pain it cannot be beat" Many very.
bad cases of rheumatism have been
cured by it. For sale at 30 cents. per
bottle by Hill-Orr Drug Co.
"A clergyman and one Of his
elderly parishioners were walking
| home from church one frosty day.
| when the old gentleman Slipped and
fell fiat on his back. The minister
looked at him moment and, being
| assured that he was not much hurt,
| said to him, "Friend, sinners stand
on slippery places The old GENTLE:
| man looked up as if to assure himself
of the fact and said II see they do s
but can't.
- The house of representatives, ON;
last Tuesday, passed a bill authorizing
| the postmaster general to allow an
indemnity not exceeding $40 in any
one case for the loss Of registered mail
| packages. In the discussion Of the
question it was developed that only,
| 600 packages and letters were lost last
wear out of $4,000, 900 carried, and
the statement was made that in cases
| where other governments have allowed
indemnity for the loss Of packages,
the increase in the registered business
has been a great deal more than sufti-
cient to pay the expense. Heretofore
the government has assumed no re-
sponsibility in the carrying of regis
| tered packages further than to prom
isc extra care to provide against mis-
| haps or loss.