The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-26


The other day got a typewriter. writes
Fred Todd in Truth. I had become i'm
pressed with the beautiful and rapid work
reeled or in the Office by a number OF my
associates on their machines.
Having decided TO get one myself didn't
make any great fuss about il, but simply
lugged IL in one morning and placed IL on
my desk with assumed nonchalence- This
was my first grave error I ought 10 have
made great preliminary ado about get
ting my machine; should have consulted
everybody IN the Office and 50 arranged
II that they would all have got 10 fighting
among themselves as TO the superiority
OF different makes Of typeWriters. This
would have distracted attention from me
When I inserted the paper. just as the
typewriter agent had shown me- and start
ed 10 make an impression on IL, ] was con-
sciOus that the eyes Of at least five expert
operators, including those Of the two
young ladies', were gazing upon me in
steadfast pity
I was ratified. Ny fingers came down
upon the keyboard with Involuntary NO
lence and struck three characters at once.
Somebody snickered. 1 knew that all
were "grinning"
Well. / was mad; so I jabbed at the
helpless keys till had written three lines,
which read something like this:
nNeW York. Deep 1ODS1S95''t
messrc. J. c. BooneS co e.: DEARSIRSi
we ar IN receipt OF your este emed
favr? OF the 7tH,
This had taken a full quarter of an
hour and l was utterly exhausted.
! stopped This gave the expert opera
tors just the chance they wanted. The
tall, cool cuss. whose desk is next to mine,
said:
Good thing, isn't it?"
Yes" 1 lied
Got 'Dronlger' did you?" he OBJ
served. as he looked at my new typewriter
contemDtuOusly.
Yes"
You'll never get any speed out OF that
machine" And then he began rafting
off about 10 words a minute on his SUI
perior "Dlmiger' typewriter.
One of the young ladies' approached me
ITS rather cute; do you Ike it?"
Yes" / again lied. Then she again
gave me to understand that I'd regret
not having bought a 'Biost" machine
Every body in the Office picked that
'Droniger" of mine to pieces for the next
week. Many times I should have liked to
kick 1t to pieces.
My friends came in and noted the new
Typewriter. They bothered me to death.
rs it any good ?''
Can you write with it?"
What in the world did you get a 'Dron-
iger' for?"
How does this thing work?"
Finally / wrote a notice with the ma
chine and fixed it up on the desk It read.
Yes, Like the typewriter "43O;Y fair
LY well? itworks alright. ICAN Write
actual opinions wit til don't think have
| time to talk aboutit".
That made me a lot of enemies. Ny
/ brother-in-law came in and referred him
to the notice.
You'll get so sarcastic sometime that
you'll die in It." he said hotly. as he left.
I'm getting on. though; 1 never use a
/ pen now, except when I'm in a hurry.
His Customer Wn~ a silver Man.
The German proprietor of an uptown ha
/ store, says the New York Tribune told
/ the following experience to a friend yes
/ terday: Il reads aboudt dot young mar
/ Bryan, undt makes up mine mind TO vote
/ for dot silver qvestion. On Saturday q
/ man comes into mine store undt he saws
| dot he wants to puy a new hat undt del
best umbrella dot vas in mine blaze
say all right, undt he tries on blentv OF
/ hats before he gets Won to suit him. look.
at mine stock of umbrellas. undt bicks
oudt Won vat has some silver handles
undt den says: BY der way dot remind.
me. How you stand on dot silver qves.
] tion?'
II say dot I stand on him init both feet
/ undt 1 vas for silver evefy time und
1 blenty of him. He say dot vas goodt, und
/ If Bryan vas elected dere would be so much
| money dot 1 would pc as rich as Dicl
| Croker in two years. He says more, dol
! der gold pugs vas going to carry thu
| election If it took every cent dot dey have
! undt if silver didn't vim dot fight derC
would pc no money al all, because der golt
| pugs would pc broke. 1 say, Yah, dot vas
So undt he say l vas right, only der trou,
| BILE vas dot der Germans don't stick tC
each odder. Dere vas your friend Max, ht
says IDIOT geeps der dry goods store twc
| doors from mine store), he vas a gold pug
| l says dot wasn't so, because talks mi
| Max, undt he tells me he vas for silver OF
any odder kind of money just a little vile
| ago.
I bet you der price of dot hat und
dot umbrella Max vas gold pug ht
says.
I bet you he wasn't I says.
All right, I'll prove it, he says, und
I'll go bring Max in here
II says, all right undt he starts out o.
mine blaze. waits me for him undt MAJ
to come back. but dey never come, und
bretty qvick finds dot dot smart-talklnf
| customer had Token dot new derby hat
undt dot fine silk umbrella away init him
| when he 80 oudt looking for Max. I callg
| mine wife from upstairs undt leaves hel
NIT mine store vile 1 go oudt to Max
blaze. l asks him aboudt dot young mar
| vot he tells he vas a gold pug, undt Man
7 says dot he tells nopody dot, undt dol
young man vas a humpug, undt says SC
| too"