davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Australian Manners.

The manners of Australian legis
lators are gaining reputation for
force and freedom in England. They
equal anything that tho American
Wild West con offer. Apparently
there is a fine spirit of Independence
toward British institutions and manu-.
factares.
The Sydney Times reports that on
June 1s one Mr.. O'Sullivan called the
attention of the House to the fact that
the Premier was Sitting down suck
ing importediuiubes. Mr.. Reid roso
and, with grace quite equal to that
of the first speaker, replied: "There
is only ono answer that can give,
and it is this: Unlike the imported
shoddy clothes worn by the honorable
member for Queanbeyan, 1 bought
these iujubes at colonial manntac'
turer's shop."-New York Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
kits at Court.

A curious and characteristic story
has just made its appearance in print;
Among the uniforms that blazed
during the ceremony of the corona.
ton of the Gear none, it appears, at.
tracted more admiring attention than
one worn by member of the House.
of Commons, who attended in a GER
tain diplomatic capacity. Although
he represents an English county in the
Commons, the former attache is a.
Scot of ancient Image, and when oc-,
casion presents itself proudly wears
the kilt of old Scotia. 1t seems a
matter simple enough for a man OF
whatever Nation, duly accredited to
such ceremony, to wear his National
dress. But earlier experience at
court suggested the necessity OF nego-
tiating the matter of the kilt before it
was packed up for Moscow.
A few years ago the owner OF this
particular costume was attached to
the British Embassy at Berlin. On
one occasion of State pageantry he
proposed to wear his kilt. Timely
suggestion was made to him that the
Emperor, who, unlike the lilies OF the
field, takes thought of what himself
and others shall wear, might object.
On inquiry being made in the proper
quarter the suspicion proved we'll
! founded. Consent to such an innova.
tion at the Court OF Berlin was stern
| " refused. A short time later, to the
surprise of those in the secret-if, in.
deed, surprise is still possible to the
encourage of the Emperor William
His Imperial Majesty one evening
strutted forth in the full toggery OF
kits. s.-New York Herald.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
The Baboon Replaces the DOG.

Speed is o form OF equipment in
which the dog excels the baboon, and
as an aid in the direct pursuit OF ami
mails it must always be inferior to
what DR.. Caius calls the '1eporarii"-
the "chasing dogges." But in the
great and justly priced gift of scent
the monkey has the advantage, though
dogs have for centuries been bred with
view to the development of that par
ticular gift, and have both in sport
and in their use as detectives and
watches become almost indispensable
aids to man. Among the very few in
stances in which the animal has been
taken wild and used iutelligently as a
servant, it has been found that he can
not only find edible plants by scent,
which the truf1e hunters poodles are
trained to do, but can be used to dis
cover hidden water-a unique instance
of animal service. LIE valiant, the
African traveller, gives an account OF
o tame baboon--probably cbacma
from South Africa-which illustrates
its fitness as q watch, hunter, and a
rrocurer of food and water more fully
than any others recorded.
This monkey, by sheer force OF
brains, took command of the dogs kept
to protect the camp, and used and
directed them just as the older ba-
boons command and direct the rest OF
their tribe. "By his cries." Gays LIE
valiant, che always warned us OF the
approach of an enemy before my dogs
discovered it. The dogs were SO &c
customed to his voice that they used
to go to sleep, and I was at first vexed
with them for deserting their duties.
When he once had given the alarm
they would all stop to watch for his
signal, and on the least motion OF his
eyes or the shaking of his head have
seen them all rush forward to the
quarter toward which they observed
that his looks were directed. Corn
hill Magazine.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Facts About pumice Stone.

Pumice, as is we'll known, is of vol
can;c origin, being a trachytic lava
which has been rendered light by the
escape of gases when in molten state.
1t is found on most of the shores OF
the Tyrrhenian sea and elsewhere, but
is at present almost exclusively OBJ
tained from the little island of Lipari.
Most of the volcanoes of Lipari have
elected pumaceous rocks, but The best
stone is all the product of one noun
tain, Monte Chirica, nearly 1000 feet
in height, with its two accessory era.
ters. The district in which the pun.
ice is excavated covers an area of three
square miles. 1t has been calculated
that about 1000 hands are engaged in
this industry. 600 of whom are en-
ployed extricating the mineral.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
The Bicycle in the Army.

Some time ago the manufacturer OF
we'll known bicycle wrote to Lieu
tenant james A. Moss, U. S. A., in re-
lation to putting company of SOL
diers on bicycles. AS a result ten men
were equipped OF Fort Missoula and
some severe experiments are to be
made. In speaking of the subject to
Hartford reporter, Lieutenant Moss
said:
During the last four or five years
the bicycle as practical machine for
military purposes has been attracting
the attention of military men both in
this country and abroad. In foreign
armies, however, the matter has been
been brought to moro practical
stage than in this country. As early
as 1870 the bicycle was used in the
italian army. In France, Austria,
Switzerland and other European coun'
tries there are now in the armies reg
ularly organized bicycle corps. Re-
Gently there have been numerous ex-
pertinent made in this country, both
by officers of the regular army and by
the National Guard. The interest in
the subject has SO increased that there
is no doubt that in the course of the
next few years every regiment in the
regular army will have its bicycle
corps. General Miles is en- enthusiast
on the subject, and in his last report
recommended the organization OF o
regiment of bicycle infantry. have
just completed the organization of a
bicycle corps of ten men at the post,
which will make extensive experiments
during the summer. The work that
has been Ibid out includes the rapid
conveying OF messages from Fort Mis-.
soula TO other posts several hundred
miles distant. the rapid establishment
of signal stations, route sketching,
scouting, road pntrolling and recon
noissance, end practice rides over long
distances with blankets, rifles, rations
and shelter tentE.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
A DEuUsIoN.

"William," she said, aI'ye read SO
much in the comic papers about what
a good time o man has when his wife
is out of town that 1 guess I'll go away
for o week o. two."
"I've read such things, but they're
not true to nature. When man'swife
goes out of town he goes down to the
Office the first Day OF two looking kind
of jolly and roguish and pretending
he thinks people ought to envy him.
Then he begins to look as if he need
ed shaving. A button drops off his
vest and doesn't get sewed on. Then
his clothes begin to look mussy in
general. And by the time his wife is
ready to come home he is the picture
of discomfort. It's ali right for the
purposes of humor to let on that q
man has royal good time when his
wife goes away; but the theory
isn't borne out by the facts in the
case. Washington Star.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
PITH AND POINT.

She cooed: he wooed; and the old
man said they could if they would
Spare Moments.
If everybody knew when The market
would stop booming it would stop q
great deal sooner.-Puck.
1Illa-"I heard something mean
about you to-day" Stella-tI thought
you looked pleased. ."-Tid-bits.
''Who was best man at the wed.
dirg?" "The brides father, if cheer.
fulness counts for anything. PUCK.
''They say piano sounds best when
it stands near WALL" 'I think il
sounds best out in o ton-acre lot. ~
Chicago Record.
Mrs. oldtimer-"Does your hus'
band still think that you are too good
for him?" Mrs. Newiywed-"Yes; he
complains good deal on Sundays!"
Puck.
she-"Everybody says you married
me only for my money" He-"But
1 didn't dear. ! know you look it,
dear, but I didn't. Indianapolis
Journe,.
Mrs. Elmore-"I wonder how many
stops that new organ of De Smyth's
has got?" Elmore-"On]y three,
should Judge. One fer each meal. ~
Buffalo Times.
"Ab. me, my heart is FULL" sighed
the girl who had been taking advan.
tage of her leap year privilege until
she found herself engaged to FIVE men.
Spare Moments.
No Need to Look: so, Harry!" ex-
claimed Mrs. Cumso, edo look at that
bug crawling across the mirror. sit
must be o ladybug," replied Cumso,
without raising his eyes from his news
papsr.-Detroit Free Press.
7'That minister is the most absent.
minded man. I took him through q
hospital ward yesterday where all the
patients happened to be asleep.
,"What did he do?" "Forgot himself
and began to deliver a sermon. New
York Herald.
Suburban-"What do you suppose
have raised in my garden thus far
this summer" Visitor-"Well, if
you've had the same weather that we
have I imagine you must have raised
your umbrella oftener than anything
else. Boston Courier.
A lady far more particular about her
husbands appearance than he is, was
surveying him. "What is the matter?"
he inquired. "That suit of clothes.
1t looks as if you had slept in it," 81
have" he replied, candidly; 81 wore
it to church. Washington Star.
Piano-Teacher Ito father of one Of
his pupils)-"I have come to ask you
for your daughters hand" "oho,
that's your game, is it? You have
been making love to my daughter in
stead of teaching her? Very well,
you can have her, but l shall deduct
the money I paid for her lessons from
her dowry."- ."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
BOUND TO TELL ONE, ANYWAY.

.iAbout ten years ago-yes; just
ten years.and seven days-I pulled q
bass out of the water that. looked to
weigh about pound and the line
broke at distance of about foot
from the hook" said the fattest man
of the liars.
"And then about five years after.
ward" the thin liar hastened to inter-
rupt, "you caught him again with the
hook and line still in his mouth, and
the fish had grown to weigh ten
pounds"
The fat liar looked panied at this
ruthless capture of his best story and
answered: "No, Sir! He weighed
less than two ounces. His vitality
had all been consumed by the line,
which had grown to twenty-eight feet
two and three-eighths inches of
clothesline. Indianapolis Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Very Different.

BE fixed steely glare on the gro
Ger and began:
''I Bought a chicken OF you after
asking you if it was spring chicken
and being informed by you that it
was. It was SO tough that it turned
tho edge of the carving knife"
~ did not tell you that it --ss 0
spring chicken" said the grocer.
You picked the fowl up and asked me
if that was what I called spring
chicken, and I said twas what / called
spring chicken. If you had asked
mo direct if it really was spring
chicken, of course, my devotion to
truth would have compelled me to ad-
init that it was nothing OF the kind
Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
A Rome Seven Miles Long,

The biggest rope ever used for
haulage purposes has Just been made
for district subway in Glasgow,
Scotland. 1t is seven miles long, four
and fve.eighths inches in circumfer.
ence and weighs nearly sixty tons. It
has been made in one u1liointed and
unspliced length OF patent crucit'le
steel. When in place it will form q
complete circle around Glasgow,
crossing the Clyde in its course, and
will run at a. speed of fifteen miles an
horr.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Paris Policemen,s Clubs.

Policemen in Paris now carry clubs,
beautifully decorated. They are pure
white, with yellow handles, Around
the middle is painted q double blue
.ihbon, with the city arms at the point
where the ends of the ribbon cross.
The whito color will be more easily
noticed than any other BY coachmen,
the sticks being held like conductors
batons by the policemen i'll the middle
of the street, to direct travel to the
rieht or left or to stop it wfep need
full,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
THY COUNTRY,


sTis with thy country thou must rise or fall;
Heed thou thy country's call!
The blood of patriots sprlnkles all her
clods--
Her cause is thine and Gods!
Still be thy breast brave in her right to
bleed
Thy dream should be thy deed!
Upon her altars still thine eyes shou'o see
The fires Of Liberty.
Andthy true hrnd make even wlnd-blow
rose
A barrier to her foes.
Cortcnt to find, where'er her banner wave
Thy glory or thy grave!
IF. L. Stanton.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
ASKED TOO MUCH.

"Young man." said the fond father,
SIN giving you my daughter I have
intrusted you with the dearest treas
ure of my life" The young man was
duly impressed. Then he looked at
his watch.
.'Really," he remarked, 81 had no
idea 1t was 60 late. The cars have
stopped. Could I borrow your wheel
to get down town.
"Young man, would not trust any
body on earth with that wheel. In
dianapolis Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
uI,n Do what i CAM

I'u Do What 4 CAM
Who takes for his motto. arll do what !
can,
Shall BET better { :, the world as he goes down
The willing young heart makes the capable
man,
And who does what he can, oft can do
what he will.
There's strength in tho impulse to help
things along
And forces undreamel Of will come to the
Of one who, the weak. yet believes he is
strong,
And offers himself to the task unafraid.
"I'll do whatI can" is n challenge to fate,
And fate must succunb, when it's put to
the test;
A heart that is willing to labor and wait
In its tussle with lie, ever come out the
best.
It puts the blue imps OF depression to rout,
Aud makes many difficult problems seem
plain;
Il mounts over obstnc,cs, dissipates doubt,
And unravels kinks in life's curious chain
sri do what cam keeps the Progress ma
chine
In good working order as centuries roll,
And civilization would perish. ween,
Were not those words written on many q
soul.
They fell the great forests, they furrow the
soil,
They seek new inventions to benefit man.
They fear no. exertion, make pastime o.
toll
oh, great is the earth's debt to "Ill dc
what I can"
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, in Independent.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Since 1 Met You.

Roster is the morning, FURNISHED
BY the hand Of day;
Brighter is the pathway furnished
Phoebus on his way;
Softer Is the moonlight streaming
High-winged cirrus through.
Happier heart and sweetec dreaming
Since I met you!
/
Sweeter is the thrush's singing
When the dew is deep;
Sweeter memory's kiss a-clinSinS
On the lips Of sleep;
Redder Is the rose, and wnite-
Is the lily true,
Aud Endymion's smile is brighter
Since ! met youi
Loveiier the damask plush Is
On the coated peach,
While the harvest apple bushes
At the farmers reach,
And the true-blue harebell never
" Had such lovely hue;
But my heart Is lost forever
Since met you!
"A. Blsnyille, in Boston Transcript.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
The ministers compliment.

One Sunday, as a certain Scottish
minister was returning homeward, he
was accosted by an old woman, who
said:
"oh, sir, well do I Like the day when
you preach"
The minister was aware that ne was
very unpopular, and answered:
'tMy good woman, I am glad to hear
it. There are too few like you. And
why do you like when I preach?"
"Oh, SIR" she replied, "when You
preach ] always get good seat !"-
Tit.Bits.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
THE WAY IT WAS PUT.

III presume you gave the prisoner
some occasion to strike your"
"Why, Your Honor, we were talk
ing about the coinage, and he made
some statement that called me to re-
mark that he had been misled and was
arguing from wrong premises, and
then he struck me"
sis that what he said to you pris-
onerP"
"Yes, that is the substance of it,
Your Honor. but not the language.
What he said was that didn't know
enough to pound sand in rat hole,
,ad was talking through h my hat like
ieckass full OF thistles and bull-net.
lies. n-Indianapoli Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Too Much to Expect.

Toy Jobber-Seems to me your
charge for ''li4aor customers" is enor-
NOUS.
Travelling Salesman-You sent me
on the road with great lot of Christ
mss toys and Christmas tree orna-
ments?
"Certainly."
well, you don't suppose drum.
mer can sell people Christmas things
in July without getting them drunk,
do ?"-New York Weekly.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Busiest Consul in the World.

The busiest Consul in the world is
the British Consul ut New York. The
British shipping at New York aggre'
gates about 4, 100000 tons annually,
and 25, 900 to 10000 seamen are paid
off and shipped each yea,. involving
the handling OF about $500, ,000 for
seamen's wages. New York Times.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
This Cat Had Reason.

A writer in the London Spectator
tells of cot which found pet white
mouse that had escaped from the cage.
The cat carried the mouse in the
house, placed it on the floor and
marched out. Common. mice had
never been treated that way by the
cat, and it seems that the feline knew
that the Albino mouse was entitled to
consideration,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
An Old Style Revived.

The old, old fashion that used to
prevail before envelopes were invented
is coming back into favor, particular
" for notes where only one side OF a
sheet of paper need be used. The
other is folded over square, addressed
and stamped and struck down at each
corner with seal and wax.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Apt at Sarcasm.

The late John S. Holmes being told,
upon the death of certain judge, that
it was proposed to erect monument
to him, observed that it ought to be a
bas-relief. Another Judge was holding
court, and the sun shone upon the
back of his head. Holmes whispered
to che clerk: "A beautiful illustration
of Scripture. !"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
ro Keen the Furn,ture Frcsh.

The September number of The La
dies H.ome Journal gives the follow
ing:
"An excellent furniture polish may
be made by thoroughly mixing one
part of raw linseod oil with two Of
turpentine. Apply vigorously with o
piece OF soft flannel after the furniture
has been carefully busted"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
nnrAnrnr. CONTINGENCY.

''Your money, and quick, tool" said
The tall burglar.
"For goodness sake, don't make SO
much noise" Kissed the unhappy
householder as ne sat up in bed.
"Why not?"
'fYou'll wake the baby"
The short burglar laughed brutally'
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14

he had heard the old gag when he
was child on his mothers knee.
"Wot if we do wake the baby?" said
the tall burglar.
"If the baby cries, groaned the un-
happy victim, "it will sour the tenn
per OF my wife's pet dog, and then
there'll be the mischief to pay"
With glance of deep commisera-
tion the burglars softly stole away
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Ar rHE ANcEsrRAL CAsTLE.

Old Retainer (confdentially) eyes,
sir, most of us in the servants all 'as
been in the Hearl's family forty
years.
The Earl's her-in-Law (from the
new.rich) )-"Well, I'm sorry for you,
but you can't get any forty years
back wages out of me !"-Puck.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
A sinnulnr Form of nIonoma9ia.

Singular Form of NtonowuYIa.
There is class of people, rational enough In
otfer respects, who are certainly monomani-
acsin dosing themselves. They are constantly
trying experiments upon their stomachs. their
bowels. their livers and their kidneys with
trashy nostrums. When these organs are
reilly out of order. il they would only use
Hostetter's Stomach Bltters, they would, II
NOT hopelessly insane, perceive its superiority.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
ACTED LIKE IT.

"When married you," he said, 81
thought you were al angel"
She looked at him coldly.
'I inferred as much," she said.
There was something in her tone
that told him there was trouble in
store for him.
"From the very frst," she went on,
"you seemed to think 1 could get
along without clothes. Chicago
Post.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
CAN THIS BE TRUE.

Gus DeSmith lives next door to Mr..
Manygirls. Gus is very much annoyed
by the excessive piano playing of one
Of them, SO he said to old Manygirls !:
"Say, neighbor, can't you make
your daughter quit playing 80 much
on the piano?"
"Look here, young man, if you
want that music stopped just marry
her. She will quit right off, then.
That's what she is doing it for."-
Texas Sitter.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14

There is moro catarrh In this section of the
couatry than all other diseases put together,
and until the last few years was supposed to be
1ncurable. For great many years doctors
pronounced IL o local disease and prescribed
local remedies, and by constantly failing to
euro with local treatment, onounced It In
durable. Science has proven catarrh to be a
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by X. }. Cheney g. Co., Toledo.
Ohio, Is the only constitut tioDal cureon the mar
kct 1t Is takenin ternally in doses from 10 drops
and mucous surf aces of thesystern. They offer
ono hundred dollars for Rny case 1t falls to
cure. Send FOR circulars and testimonials.
Address =. J. CHENEY g. Coz Toledo, O.
Sod Is Druggists. zoe.
Halls Family Pills arc the besto
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
HE ATTENDED Hill.

DIR. Banks-..'And in spite of oil
rumors to the contrary, you are still
prepared to contend that Binks died q
natural death?"
DR.. shanks-'I am; for during his
last illness I attended him myself. -
Harper's Weekly.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
rue eRowrH OF To1ERAT1oy.

Tom-"Yes, he married that girl. "
Jack-"I know he did. Why, he
thought that people who doubted that
she was the pink of perfection ought
to be burned ut the stsko!"
Tom-"Well, he's willing to allow
more freedom of opinionhow. Puck.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
HOW TT HAPPENED.

Weary Will-"Lady, I wuz wunst o
prosperous merchant; IL he'd luxur-
ious home, an honorable name, an
ten bloomin' an highly.educated
daughters"
Mrs. Wellment;-"What brought
you to poverty 2"
Weary Willie-"My daughters in.
sisted on marrying highly-educated
men, an he'd ter support ten fami-
lies. Puck.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
PoWERLESS.

At the amateur artists exhibition.
Briggs-"That fellow OF the door
had no right to take away my stick. {"
Griggs-"Ge was probably afraid
that you would poke the pictures with
it,"
,Briggs-"Well, man has got to
vent his anger in some way. Judge.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-10-14
Help Wanted.

Men that can produce business to cell
monthly installmenS bonds. Liberal commits
siors and bonus paid. Address Y: S. Bond
and Mortgage Co npany, Atlanta, Ga.