The Butler weekly times., 1896-07-16
Smiles.

bo'Ioi = lie matter WITH YOU Is
that You want TO be out more. Pa
tient-lll be ont enough when | GET
your bill, doctor.-l onkers States
man.
\ houseny whose buzz Is KEYED in
Fvibrate> his wings 335 times see
ond. When a victim with a bald /
head happens to hit he flats awfully. /
Lowell Courier. /
She-Nou promised to love me al /
ways. He-But never knew YOU
looked like that in the morning with /
your hair III curl papers. Y onker> |
Statesman
$50 you went out driving with
your new beau, Susie, and l expect
he read your heart like a book
i eyes, mother, he read between lines.
Detroit Free Press.
Railroad Ofticial-You may not be-
lieye it, but this dining car cost $50,
900. Plantree How long has il been
running? Just week. Paid for
! itself yet?-Life.
Chatterton-H Hardup seems 10 be
having better luck lately. Wiggins
What, has he paid you what he
owed you? Chatterton-No; he
hasn't called TO borrow any more,-
Truth.
"Resolved, that if woman wants
husband who won't mention his
mothers biscuit, she must seek II
man raised in an orphan asylum. -
Chicago Record.
"Jenkins, have You an extra dollar
in your pocket?' ''No, dear fellow !;
in fact, l haven't any pockets-times
are SO hard have my trousers made
without pockets. Chicago Record.
81 WONDER" soliloquized the mon
key, looking through the bars of its
cage at the bloomer girl, ''if that
creature isn't the missing link the
evolutionists have been hunting for.
. Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Assurance-Dear Maude, Your
father gave me his consent to our
, marriage only last night. Miss
Maude (indifferently) Indeed but
gave mine to Willie Green only this
; morning,-To Date.
a "You mustn't be saucy, Fanny
= said the maiden aunt to the little
1 one. No one will love youif you are.
= "Were you saucy when you We're a
. little girl, aunty?" asked the guile
less child.-Truth.
''One of the remarkable paradoNes
>. of politics, " said the Cornfed Philo
sopher, sis presented in the per
formance of a man buying large
quantities of liquids to make hin
e solid Indianapolis Journal.
b Guest: Chow is this? My bill thi
4 time is II shillings Il day, and las
: | December | had the same room, ant
it was only 10 shillings day" Clerk
eyes, know; but the days are mucl
o longer now" Tit
A.-Now if | understand correctly
the first principle of socialism is t
divide with YOUR brother man. B.
g Then you don't understand it cor
IS rectly. The first principle Of social
ism is TO make your brother man di
n vide with vou.-Birmingham Post.
% Bobby (to visiting pastor)-Say
, what is that hole in the top Of you
hat for? The pastor wishing to b
Instructive Don't you know? Now
II try and guess. Bobhy-Oh, | know
Or Pop says you talk through your ha
le and that must be the hole il got
ar through.-Puck.
''Surely, you don't mean TO sa,
Tommy" said the teacher, ''that til
d. letter 81 has different sound whe
it is capital?' ''Ies'm, replie
Tommy. 81 should like to have yo
give me an example. "Well, it hs
Of a short sound in job and long soun
~ Us in Job. Chicago Tribune.
wo Schell City. Mo, July 9 --An u
ed known man killed on trek north
EN- town. Body ground to tt pulp; su
oI- posed TO have been .un over by Sc
nj. ,ue eral trains: Identified b. clotbin