The San Francisco call., 1896-12-20
THE PRESS CLUB J|NKS
WAS A DECIDED SUCCESS
An Evening of Song Short Speeches and Clever Papers
InaugurateS the Yule-Tide of
Bohemia.

With this nine-ounce rod, and line and hook.
We trust you'll whip your favorite brook;
This may look heavy for the trout you'll take
But it fits your fsh STORIES up TO date.
Fletcher Tilton, the clubs great profess
sional musician, is said to use the tele-
phone a great deal, for which reason he
was presented with miniature telephone,
with the following poetic explanation:
For some time past your friends have seen the
bother
They gave you when they used the phone.
The club has, therefore, got another,
And this my boy, Is all your own.
DR.. Marc Levingston drew from the tree
a check for $25,O 900 with the following
verse:
No more with fevered brow and lips appalling
You'll have to work with lancet, leech and pill;
You're wealthy, now, no need to tend the ailing
For here is your fee, sir, from the pencil will.
Sire Harry Melvin was given a small
launch to enable him to get to Oakland,
"by reason of the calamity of frequently
missing the last boat.
One of the marked papers of the evening
was by Judge Hunt, being an essay on
the Australian ballot, supposed to have
been written by little boy. 1t is as fol-
lows, being full of local hits. The paper
was loudly applauded:
Teacher told me must write composition
on the Australian ballot. Now. 1 knew
nothing about the Australian ballot or how d
worked or how it looked, so 1 thought would
ask pa. Ny pa works in the new City Hail, on
a bench. thought he ought to know some
thing about the Australian ballot, because he
ran for Judge in the last election and nearly
got LEFT. A physician named DR.. Phillip Grim
Minis told him if he hadn't been so thin he
would never have squeezed through. He also
said that the men elected on the ticket must
have been very good men, because none of
them were below pa
When asked pa what he thought of the
Australian ballot he said he thought 1t was
and then he stopped and told me to go and see
the professor. So 1 went and saw Professor
Martin Kelly. asked Mr.. Kelly if he liked
the Australian ballot He told me he did; he
said it paid him better than his junkshop or
his libel suit against the Examiner. I didn't
know what he meant by this, so asked him
how many times the ballot had been tried in
California. He said it had been tried three
times in Sausalito.
asked him when was the last time It was
tried and he said the third time. Then l
asked him why SO many fourth-cIass men ran
on the Australian ballot at the last election
and he said it was because there were no fl fth-
class men. next asked him how it was that
some of his candidates got such bigger ma
jority than others on the same ticket and he
said it was because they got more votes. Then
wanted to know why they called the ballot
the Australian ballot and he said it was be-
cause it came from Australia.
1 asked him which was heaviest on
the candidate, the nomination or the
election? and he said both. / asked
him how candidates liked the Austral-
ian ballot? He said it depended wholly on
how they came out; for instance the man
elected to Office for the first time thought the
Australian ballot was bully because it elected
him. The man reelected to office took no
stock in il, because he knew he was not elected
on the ballot, but upon the "stuff."
! asked HIM how much an Official when elect
ed got He said he did not know how much an
official got, but he could tell me what his sal
AIRY was. l asked him if good men were not
usually beaten for Office, and he said that he
had seen the righteous forsaken and their seed
shy of votes.
The last thing ssked him was if he made
more on his convention than he did on the
election, but he got mad at this and fired me
out. Just as was leaving he hollered and
asked me what pas name was, because he said
! if pa ever ran for Office again he could get him
! lots of votes south OF Market street
! Then lett Mr.. Kelly and started for the Hall
of Justice; but when 1 found the Hall OF JUS
tice was not built went 10 the new City Hall.
| The Hall of Justice is so called because police
courts will be neld there. went to the Regis
I trar, Mr.. Hinton, ana asked him 20 show me
an Australian ballot, and he did so The Aus
tralian ballot is large sheet of paper, and it
is square, at least, in form. 1t is large, so as
to hold the names OF al the candidates.
The last ballot had so many names upon it
! that thought at first 1t was the proof-sheet oi