The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1896-01-09

Life.
There is a difference between a cold
and the grip, but you will not realize it
until you receive the doctors BILL
Truth.
He-Are you going to the opera?
She-NO; l have such a cold 1 can't
speak above a whisper.-Yonkers
Statesman.
The same nan does the kicking,
AS the seasons come and GO;
He grew p~rofane at summer
And does the same towards snow.
~Washington Star.
She-Did Maude lose her heart when
you proposed to her? He-No, l think
she must have lost her head; she said
nO.-Buifalo Commercial.
AT the Party.-He-Do you know, l
always feel like a fool in a ~full-dress
suit. She-What n pity you can't hide
your feelings q little.-Truth.
Wickwire-There can be no doubt
that the horse is rapidly passing. Nudge
-Mebbe, but the ones l bet on don't
seem to pass anything very much.-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Ethel-Mamma. I wish you'd 90 to
the other end of the store a minute. l
don't want you to see that inkstand
that I'm going to buy you before Christ
mas.--IIarper's Bazaar.
We can stand the horseless carriage
Think it's just as fine as silk,
Rut wp kick hard bor1or hor1act
When they mention cowless milk.
West Union Iowa Gazette.
what. you refuse me $20-me, your
intimate friend, whom you INC called
your second ego!" 'Ah. my dear boy,
l know myself too well-you would
never return the mOney."-Le Figaro.
Mr.. Goodheart-My income is 5000
a year. Don't you think your daughter
could 1--we on that? Mrs. Spendwell-
She probably could, with economy, but
how would you live?-New York Week.
ly.
We stumble or the gifts we prize
All other things above,
For ever since the world began.
We've fallen into love.
New York Recorder.
The world owes me a living" he
said bitterly. "Of course" replied the
other Sarcastically. Put l don't seem
to get it" WELL, you never were much
good as q collector."-Chicago Evening
Post.
Mike" said Flooding Pete, "if you
had a twenty dollar bill, would you
blow 1t in?" Nope" said Meandering
Mike; II couldn't blow it in. Havin'
twenty 'ud take me breath away
Washington Star.
Lover-I know as well as anybody
that she has no beauty OF money or ac-
complishments or anything, but l love
her and Friend-And In any case
she will still be your better half.-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
HerZog-Janns says he is going to
become a detective. Perksby-Oh, he's
too slight for q detective. He is very
says he will make a good shadow
Brooklyn Eagle.
Mrs. Highart (dreamily)-I wish to
select a painting for the-the northwest
corner Of my parlor. Dealer (briskly)-
Yes, madame. James. show the lady
Senat's last marine, 1.-THE N~or'wester."
New York Weekly.
"Shall I sing Ben Bolt"" she asked
him.
It happened his name was Ben.
He paver atoDne1 to answer.
But bolted there and then.
San Francisco Examiner.
The doctor-Queer saying that, about
truth lying at the bottom Of a well.
The lawyer-You wouldn't think so If
you knew the amOun Of pumping we
lawyers sometimes have to do to get
at it-Boston Traveller.
The ch~aperon-The idea of your al
lowing Mr.. Tucson to kiss you. Such
proceedings are d~isgraceful, and going
| on under my very nose, too. The daugh-
ter-But l thought they went under
mine.-New York Ledger.
Poor fellow" she said sympathetic
ally. whats the matter?' he asked.
THE poor man was disappointed in
love-" she replied. "Of course" he re-
turned. 1T never does come up to eX-
observation-disclosures Evening Post.
Millionaire-Well, my dear Baron,
you seem t have a. important com
m%unication TO make. Baron-COuncilor
r, | am happy to tell you the glad
news that it is my intention to appoint
yOu-my Observation-Disclosures Wes-
non