Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-02-10
WiGGLESWORTH INSISTED.
There Was Ice Cream to BE Frozen, an
He Would Do Tt.

The invitation to Mrs Wigglesworth's
afternoon reception had been out week,
the front parlor was becomingly set off
with asparagus green and the brightness
of autumn leaves, and it looked az if the
thing was going to be one of the incest So
cial events of the season.
They'll begin coming at 4 O'clock"
Mrs Wigglesworth said at dinner, "and
everything is ready but the ice cream
You'll have to send up a man for that
"Td like to know what for?" said Mr..
Wigglesworth.
''Why, to freeze it, Of course, explained
his wife. Its awfully hard work turning
the crank an hour
"Humpp grumbled Mr.. Wigglesworth,
who held a mans opinions concerning an
afternoon function. 'Seems to me you
and that hired girl might find time to
twist galvanized iron crank around
few minutes without subjecting me to ex-
ira expense. Want to ruin me?''
'Ellery Wigglesworth, returned his
wife severely, edo you think I am going
to put on my best dress and freeze ice
cream while the first ladies in town are
arriving every minrte and having to be
talked top
"B-a-a-h-hP' commented Mr.. Wiggles-
worth. "Where is this freezer? I'll show
you how to make q dollar"
Down in the cellar Mrs. Wigglesworth
had got everything ready. There was the
freezer, borrowed of a neighbor, duly filled
with six quarts of liquid, and there were
ice and salt and other things necessary
Mr.. Wigglesworth loaded the salt and ice
into the wooden cylinder and gave the
crank a few preliminary revolutions.
"Dont see anything the matter with
this, do you?" he asked "Don't knows
you like to have dollar saved. Rather
make folks think you'd spent a fortune
pro- bly,"
Merrily twirled the crank, while Mrs
Wigglesworth crowded in some more
pounded ice.
Regular picnic this is, said Mr.. Wig
ellsworth, "side of the old churn used to
work when was boy Mother used to
keep me at it all the time Said that one
''What did she mean by that?' Mrs.
Wigglesworth innocently asked.
what did she mean by that?' tartly re-
torted Mr.. Wigglesworth, whose muscles
began to feel it. "What does anybody
mean by anythingP Can't you understand
u joke when it's shown to you?'
~ don't see any joke in your mother
saying that one good churn deserved an
other Mrs. Wigglesworth persisted. eff
she had ono churn, should think that
would be nice, but how could it desorge''-
"Y-a-h-h!' snarled Mr.. Wigglesworth,
grinding savagely away, "what's the use
to try and have any fun with you? You
couldn't see a joke If it was pasted on the
end Of the Lick telescope. Quit jamming
in that icei'' he shouted as the machine
went trifle harder. "Want to stop the
thing?"
''It amt me-" Mrs. Wigglesworth mild
ly rejoined. cts the cream beginning to
harden
''Great lot you know about It'll" grum-
bled her husband, pausing to wipe the
perspiration from his brow.
Mrs Wigglesworth said she must now
go and "dress, and with few encourag-
ing words vanished up the stairs. Mr..
Wigglesworth turned on, pausing now and
then to mop off his forehead and lnutter
things to himself.
Every man of a weak and yielding ma
ture who has allowed himself-onco-to
be bound to the chariot wheels of the ice
cream freezer can recall with CHASTITY clear
ness how the lemon cOlored mixture on
the interior Of the tin can, after reaching
a certain degree of hardness, appears to be
content to remain there. Round and round
spun the handlel Mr.. Wigelesworth paus-
ing at intervals to gloomily contemplate
the growing blisters on the palms Of his
hands.
Overhead he could hear the shutting of
feet as visitors arrived and went stiffly
through the ceremonies of introduction.
''Oh, Ellcry," hoarsely walled Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, rushing half way down the
stairs, "can't you hurry up9 Eycrybody's
coming, and it's dreadful to give them
only tea, and they are looking around and
wondering what the table is for with
dishes ON it and no ice cream!'
"What you s'pose carer" returned Mr..
Wigglesworth, wanting to yell, but forced
to keep his voice under. "Think I've got
nothing to do but prance around here
twisting blamed old hand organ? You
go on back and shake hands with the rest
of them false crimp females, will you, and
let mo alone!"
"What is that singular rumbling noiseS"
asked one of the guests little later.
CT don't hear anything" faltered
Mrs Wiggesworth, forcing a distorted
smile into her face.
II hear something said another guest,
a thin, little woman, with an inquisitive
nose. "Hark!''
The roomful of ladies CONCEALED into ST.
lence There was small need Of Mrs Wig
glesworth's Discrimination. From beneath
their feet, muffled by the carpeted floor,
came strange series of noises, the bur
Of machinery, it might be, punctuat-
ed by grunting sound as Of railroad
engine getting under way, and now and
then a thud like q man falling out of
balloon and alighting on the roof Of
Presbyterian church.
"Burglars!' lucidly cried fat woman
in red dress They're boring their way
in through the cellar WALL" And she
stood up i'll chair.
Then, just as everybody was turning
pale and getting ready to talk all at once,
the mixture which for two hours had gone
OH making Mr.. Wigglesworth madden
suddenly went thick, and the dashor, re-
volving slower quickly exhausted his re-
naming strength.
'Gash fummux the old thing!" he
yelled, losing all regard for the society
event overhead "What ails 1t nows" And
he twitched the machine savagely across
the cellar floor. why don't you twist
around here, same's you been doing since
tackled you last spring." he beloved, and
he flung 1t against the granite wall.
'Want to keep me here grinding this old
crank till Christmas, don't your" And he
knocked down one Of the furnace pipes
withit "But want you to underestimate
he howled In q finishing blaze Of wrath as
the falling pipe struck his head and emp
tied load Of SCOT on him.
And grabbing an Ak he stove in the
freezer's metallic head. To his surprise,
he found the orean, frozen beautifully
W. O. Fuller, Jr., In New York Recorder.
One or the Other. Sure