The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-10-20
BIG MAN AND LITTLE MAN.
They Exohange Opinions of Each Other
Over a Bottle of Red Evil.

Over a Bottle of Red Evil,
Inc big man and the little man loupg.
ed comfortably over the table with a boz
Gle OF the red evil between them and ex-
changed opinions on topical things after
the manner Of men.
"Confound itP' exclaimed the little
man, rapping the table with an e2ergy
snaG mace the trimming glasses jingle,
Whlle the carmine imp within the bottle
rocked and leaped. "Truth is q thing of
the past
"Yess" said the big man questioning.
He had nothing to say.
Yes, . reiterated the little man, giaring
at bis bottle mate. "No one says what he
really means nowadays, nor means what
he says
ITO what do you attribute such de-
plorable condition of things?" asked the
big man.
10 present state of society the con-
ventions Of which are founded on coward
Ice, lazlness and deceit" returned the lit
tie man, br1stling afresh. "Cowardice and
laziness compel us TO accept all sorts of OBJ
5ectionable persons, while deceit forces us
TO Sink our honesty and candor and re-
Train from communicating our real opin-
ions Of them.
"Yes9' said the big man again, for his
vocabulary was li1nited
NOW, you know in your own expert
ence," continued the little man, "you
never really let your neighbor know your
real candid opinion of him.
That's right assented the big man
refectiyely. Suppose you and be frank
with each other. Give your candid opin-
ION of me-
"Humph!' shifted the little man scorn-
fully. you'd be like everybody else If
did-get mad in a minute"
Pom my word I will not" assured
the big man. Fire away and out with
it,"
"Well, candidly then, if you will have
it so'-the lutte man emptied his glass
and placed the lip of the bottle atilt
against it's brim to renew the draft and
listen to the song of the little carmine imp
as the fluid flowed candidly, I think
you are mixture of all sorts of qualities,
and while some of them are bad, still 9TH
ers are worse
The big mans eyes widened, but he said
nothing, only forced the little carmine imp
to sing as he had sung for the little man.
II wouldn't call you liar, but know
that you hold in profound contempt that
single and disastrous effort of Ananias.
You're honest in your way-that is, you
would not take dollar of any mans mon
ey II you couldn't get 1T. Your predomi-
nant characteristic is a passion for arguing
upon subjects of which you know nothing
whatsoever. Yet you jaw away with ludi-
crous persistency, for you are as pig head
ed, obstinate and self assertive as you are
slab footed, cellar mouth, bottle nosed,
raw boned"-
Something passed with electrical celebrity
from the big man to the little man-some-
thing that looked like fist with fingers
close reefed for a storm-and the little man
retired lengthwise on the floor. But there
he did not linger, for the big man hastily
reclaimed him, put him through a course
of gymnastics, chiefly remarkable for cir
cular movements, and wound him around
the chandelier. Warming to the exercise,
the big man next inaugurated reform
movement and cleared things up generally
with the little man, tossing him at last in
to corner, bruised and fragmentary
heap.
By and by the little man came to and
sat up, ruefully surveying the big man,
who returned his gaze with glance of
beatific tranquility.
"There, now" said the little man, pain
fully pulling himself together, 81 told you
you would get mad
"Mad?" asked the big man In surprised
tones. "Mad? Who? I?''
eyes, youP' retorted the little man.
"Never was further from it in my life, "
the big man, emptying the last
of the little carmine imp, heels and all, in.
to his glass.
"Then what in the everlasting did you
mean by'-
WELL you see, I'm not as colloquial as
you are and had to express my opinion of
you with practical demonstration.
And the big man smiled again and re-
marked that for some persons the existing
conventions of society are good enough
Lawrence Bradley In Truth.