Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1896-12-03
.EYENING ECHOES.

THAT young person who has just
moved on the street has very energetic
look. Is he man of affairsY" mo,
Just plain fares. He's car conductor. !"
Cleveland Plaindealer.
De Witte-How in the world did you
happen to get married. Mrs. Black
Jones--By phenomenal combination
of circumstances. He and l, and his
family and my family were willing
Truth.
Sexton from the vestry room)-Dr.
Blank-Dr. Blank-the church is on
fire. DR.. Blank from the pulpit)-
Very well, William, will retire. Per-
baps you'd better wake up the congre-
CATION. -Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Film, John, you must put
an advertiser, ~ in the paper for
another girl tomorrow. Mary ia in
paradise now. Mr.. Flinders WHAT!
Did she start the fire with coal oil.
Mrs. Flinders-No; she's got chance
to work in crockery shop. Cleveland
Leader.
Mr.. McCorkle--Your mother will be
the death of me, Jimmie. What do
you think she broke right out in front
Of Mr.. TweedyP Jimmie-Sure, don't
know, father. / said l was in the
foyer at the op'ry house, and your
mother axad was burnt. cleveland
Plaindeaer.
81 tell you il takes burglary to
make man rich" "You mean poor,
don't you9'' 'No, 1 mean rich. " "In
what way? swell, have been read
ing about the value of the goods stolen
from the Singers house, and find that
he has lost more than he ever had
Chicago Post.
Briggs (reading, morning paper)-I
don't believe a word of it! Mrs. Briggs
lent he elected, dear? Briggs
Isn't who elected Mckinley.
Who said anything about Mckinley?
I'm trying to wade through this fool
article on how to care for the bicycle
chain. Cleveland Plainderaer.
Scene-The bar parlor OF the Prince
George, Brighton. Pipes and beer all
round. An old salt saying: "I've got
a riddle to ask you chaps. II 'erring
and 'alf cost three farthings, how
many could you buy for a sixpences'
Profound silence and much putting OF
corner: ~ say, Bill, did you say
'errings?" Eyes. said 'errings."
"Drat it, I've been a.reckoning of
mackerel all this ere time !"-National
Hotel Reporter.
'If you want to be liked in news
paper office, " said the man at the desk,
"you must be careful to write only on
one side of the paper" The youth
with a bunch of manuscript looked at
him suspiciously and exclaimed: "No,
you don't! ] may look young, but L
can see through some things You
want me to write my poetry on one
side Of the paper SO that you can turn
it over and use the other side for your
long winded articles about finance.
It's an economical idea, but Im not 30
foolish. Washington Star.
The young bachelor who was fond Of
all the good things of life sighed dis
mally: "To know when man should
marry" he said, sis serious pro-
blem." Nonsense, replied the lover.
"Ah but ii is. persisted the bachelor.
$50 much is expected, you know,
that young man with good prospects,
but small income, never knows just
when he is sufficiently we'll off to-,
Nonsense, asserted the lover again.
"a fig for your problem. 1t ought
not to worry sensible man two
minutes The time for man to marry
is when the girl says Yes. and that's
all there is to it. "-Chicago Post
There is an Irish porter employed in
a large commission house in New York,
one Of the kind that will make witty
reply to any sort of question. He is
very fond of expressing his views in
general, and has great admiration of
his arguments. III he fails to get
listener he will talk to himself in lieu
of something better. A member of
the firm, being annoyed one day at his
constant muttering, which he was un-
fortunate enough to hear, sent for him.
.'See here, John, did it ever occur to
you that your constant talk and NUT
tering is great annoyance to people
that happen to be arounds Why on
earth do you chatter away to yourself,
anyhow" 'Shure, have two reasons
fer doin' that. " 1.-Two reasons Well.
what ale theys" Zone of them is
that loike ter talk to sinsible man,
and the other is that l ioike ter hear
sinsible man talk. "-Harper's Round
Table.
patr;nly Ma0uira a nanr oorafi, volt;