The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-07-02


at him you'll 20 to jail
But lsstrker evidently thought that
was all nonsense. He didn't care IL It
| violated the whole council series from
| A to lizard lie had got hold OF an ele-
CANT thing. and was going to stick to it.
and was gay sort of u man to recon-
mend it TO him and then advise him 10 Z
give il up. All this time the phonograph
was talking in u tone of deep disgust TO
heavy individual who was pedaling
along in lcisnrel, way just in front Of
us, and who must have been stone deaf
or he would certainly hive clambered {
down and punched Rarker's head
Then | was initiated into the nys-
teries of the thing. and saw how, by
] pushing a small attachment down so
that il rubbed on the front wheel, the
mechanism of the phonograph was
made to rcvolvc. and it shouted ont
whatever was in it until the clamp was
released. Barker said he had talked
into 1t half a day. and it was evidently
well supplied with vocabulary.
3y the time we got to the club--for
we belong to IA club. both of us I,arker
was in state Of hilarious delight, and
hall of the dogs, children and old ladies
in town were on the verge of frenzy.
OF course. all the other fellows in the
club had to learn all about it, and Bar
ker pushed his machine around on the
sidewalk and made the phonograph
curse them and all their relatives to the
tenth generation, which seemed to af-
ford them the most unbounded pleas
| ure.
AS a lifting conclusion to the even
ing's entertainment we all went up-
stairs, and ! regret to say that Barker,
after placing the plonograph carefully
on n table beside him. got as drunk as
lord, and talked and sang and shouted
in a very scandalous and tlisgraceful
way.
After it was all over took him homo
and put him to bed. and while doing
this he informed me in a maudlin and
dcronnected Il way that he was going
on; ;''ding the next evening with the
two litter girls, daughters of old man
Co,u on Cutter, one of the directors in
the l:ank, and he wished would happen
to d.op around and ride with the big
one, so he could talk to the little one.
He said that was his only friend, and
that he loved the little one. He did not
love her in any ordinary way, either;
but in a way in which no one ever loved
before. .s
Now, like Barker, and he is friend
of mine, and as a matter of course it was
only common charity to help him out
} in case like that. So gave him lot
of good advice about how to doctor his
head in the morning, which he received
; with a very bad grace, and promised to
} be in the neighborhood, of old Cutter'D
the next evening without fail.
III.
: I was a little late in getting OF, and,
had hardly got within sight Of tho
} house on the following night when I
/. met the two girls and Barker cominJ
. toward me. He seemed to be in high
spirits, and was particularly jolly when
they met me. Iwanted to asls him about
the phonograph, but hesitated to do %.
He Immediately mentioned the matter
himself, however, and explained that
ated with the thing, and had insisted
on having it put on her bicycle, and that
they all we're anxiously waiting for
something to get in the way 80 they
could give it trial. l afterward dis
covered that Barker had represented to
: them that the whole thing was his own
idea, and they had declared that he was
6 wonderfully ingenious.
We had gone about three blocks,
a Barker and 1.-The little one" being In
front, and the elder Miss Cutter and my
self In the rear, when a man tried to
cross the street in front of us.
"Hooray gimme another drink" said
" the phonograph in CHASTITY counter
felt of Barker's voice.
The man gazed as in astonishment
and fell into the gutter. Barker's ma
chine wabbled violently. and could go
that his nerve had crumbled, while
S felt q shiver along my own spine ~ !
I teok in the situation.
: "Her golden hair was hanging down
!. her h-h- hic - back!" sang the
wretched instrument in Barker's we'll
8 known treble. Evidently the "little
1 one" couldn't loosen the clamp.
e Drops of sweat stood on Barker's brow
:, and he tried to turn it off as joke.
e Funny amt it?" said he, never can
4 tell what it will say"
h You're liar!" screamed the phono-
o graph. Come long now an pass the
j whisk."
a could see the ''little one" turn pale,
j and the elder Miss Cutter was looking
e daggers at Barker.
:. "Tra Ia la, ira la la, WOW, WOW. wow,
whoop-peel" said the phonogrsph.
n "Say," it continued. in a confidential
r whisper, I'm stuck on -the-hic-pret
a tiest-hic-girl--"
Take 1t off!" growied Barker, max.
> ing lunge at the instrument, but his
l. equilibrium was gone and he fell into an
+ ignominious heap on the pavement.
& "Hol no! you're drunk!" shrieked the