The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1896-01-25
WIT AND WISDOM.


WIT AND WISDOM.
-Silious-Lcave me alone with my
thoughts. Cynicus-What pcrfec.
ton of solitude!-Philadelph Rec
| ord.
ing now?'' 'He isn't working. He's
! found situation. Free
| Press.
First Debutante-My cheeks are oil
| on fire. Second Debutante =
thought there was a smell of burning
paint.-Town and Country Journal.
| Visitor-But this portrait of Mr..
Bulger is a good deal more than life
size. Artist know it. That is
the size he thinks he is.-Boston Bull
letin.
Spencer (vindictively)-rve an
old score to settle with you. Fergu.
son (blithely)-I know you have.
That twenty you have owed me so
long.-N. Y. Herald.
| -Teacher-Now suppose there were
| FIVE boys going skating, and they had
| only three pairs of skates; how many
| boys would have to look on? Boy
| know; the two that got the worst OF
| the 6ght.-Harper's Round Table.
-Husband-Dou't you know that
every time a woman gets angry size
adds wrinkle to her face? Wife
Yes; it's a wise provision of nature to
let the world know the kind of hus.
ban nd she's got.-photos and Sketches.
Mandy Ann-Say, 'Rastus, de Way.
down furniture store is advuttisin' ma
hogany ladies' rockers fur s1.5z. 70
got to git me one 'Rastus-Git you
one muffin. You amt no mahogany
lady; you's ebony Jour
nal.
Only the Half-Old Maiden Aunt
I'm Venice at last! Onc-half of the
dream of my youth is now fulfilled
(sighing)-I contemplated going to
Venice on my wedding tour.-Blumen-
lese.
Mrs. Fcrry-Dear. that neclStie is
getting frightfully seedy. Mr.. Ferry
II guess it will do for a week or two.
Mrs. Ferry-George Ferry, if you don't
come home tonight with a new tie on,
1 will buy you one myself.-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
Changing her Tune---"How is Miss
Strongmind coming on? don't hear
of her advocating woman's rights any
more She has quit woman's rights
business and taken up with woman's
lefts. She has married a widower."---
Texas Siftings.
-Sineleton-I suppose you imagine
that woman is dead in love with you.
Spooner-Imagine! I'm sure of it. I'd
like to have you hear her run on about
Kitty Steele, whom I used to take
round to evening gatherings and ouch
things Transcript.
-Sacri6ce.-'Arey ez the same mon,'
said Mrs. Dolan Indignantly, that
wor talkin' till Patsy Donovan SO brave
yesterday, tellin' i'm thot you loilxed
to worruk?'' ''Oi do loike to worruk, -
replied Do1an, contentedly; 'Oi do
loilxe to worruk-but Ohm willing to |
denoi meself. ''-Washington Star.
A lawyer residing in the north OF
England, and noted for his laconic |
terse and witty note to refractory
client, who would not succumb to his |
reiterated demands for the payment Of |
his bill: ''Sir. if you pay the Enclosed |
you will oblige me. If you do not
shall oblige you. "-Green Bag.
That Dreadful, Barrier.
She glanced about the room hope
lcssly.
mo. it can never be- she murmur-
ed; sit can never be. A barrier rises
between us-an unsurmountableb bar
rier."
He laughed in that easy, shovv-me.
ola tougt1-old- barrier till
brcak-it-in-sixteen-pie sort of a man
ner.
..Pshaw"
That one utterance conveyed the inn
preston that he made e speciality OF
breaking down barriers every morning
before breakfast.
can uOG % ne pleaded. |
Tell me its nature, that may crush
it out of existence
Again she gazed hopelessly around
the room.
cit is"
The words came painfully slow.
"a husband in New Jersey"
People in the houses for blocks and
blocks heard through the night a sound
RS of shutting feet, but they littl.
VOTED that it was g man kicking him.
self ever onward.--S, Y. World.