The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1896-06-27
AN AWFUL coMMoTIoN.
A Correspondent Tells How an Innocent
Cat Disturbed One of Our Popular
Earberk.

BARRIERS.
There was great commotion at
Parkin's barber shop the other day.
They had heard cat bowling and
screeching around the shop for two or
three days, but they could not find her.
New. it,there is any one thing that
will make Parkins more nervous than
another, it is the screeching OF cat.
"Oh, Mamma wasn't he scared"
He had made several Intellectual at
tempts 10 locate the cat, but the other
day guided by the noise, he finally
located 1t in the tin waterspout at the
south of the shop. He thinks the cat
must have been skylarking upon the
roof some dark night, and accidentally
tumbled into the spout. Parkins tried
to shake her down by hammering on
| the spout with stick; but the more
he pounded the louder she yelled, and
the two noises attracted the attention
OF the ueighbors nd aroused the police.
Then he procured clothes prop: and
ascending to the roof, enoeavored TO
push the animal out, but the stick was
not long enough TO reach her. All it |
was good for was 20 make her howl |
louder; and it did that 10 perfection. |
AT last Parkins declined to take the |
spout down and coax the Cat out. When |
he got it on the ground. he peeped in |
at the end, and could see the animals
eyes shining like balls of fire, far back
into the darkness OF tho hole. "Oh,
mamma, but wasn't he scared"
After shaking her up for awhile,
without inducing her TO move, he
made uD his mind that she must be
jammed in the pipe and unable to
bulge. He wanted to cut the pipe
open, but Mr.. kertz, the genial ex-
press agent, said it would be a. pity TO
spoil such good spout for mere cat.
So Parkins determined to blow her out
with gun powder. He procured a
small charge and pushing 1t pretty
we'll in with stick, he "tamped" the
end of the spout with clay and lighted
the fuse. Two minutes later there was
an explosion, and the tamping clay
flew out ana struck Mr.. Kertz with
some violence in the ribs, curling him
all up on the ground by the fence.
When he recovered his breath he got
up and said:
Hang your Internal cat! It's an
outrage for you to be endangering the.
lives of people with your diabolical
schemes for getting at a beast that
ought to have been killed long ago."
Then Kurtz sullenly got over the
fence and went home, and the cat,
meanwhile, kept up yowling that
made eyerybody's hair stand on end.
Parkius thought he made mistake in
not placing the butt of the spout
against something solid; and 30 after
putting in couple OF pounds OF powder,
le turned the spout up and rested the
end upon tbs ground, proppi1g it
against the shop. Then he lighted
he fuse and the. crowd scattered.
There was loud explosion. general
distribution of fragments OF tin around
he yard, and out from the upper end
II the spout there sailed something
,lack.. When it came down it was
he cat, singed off, burned to crisp,
ooking as if it had been spending the =,
ummer in Vesuvious. but apparently
till active and hearty; for as soon as :
t lig hted It sat up a wild, unearthly
creech, and darted of for the wood.
he'd, where it continued to howl until
'arkins went in and killed 1t with his
azor. 1t cost him $40 for q new spout.
ut he says he doesn't grudge the
money now that be has stopped that
endish noise. "Oh mamma wasn't 1
cared"