Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-12-08
CRATIC lNSANTuM.
TIE BUBBLEroN sPANKER SCHOOL OF
oRAroRY ENrERTAINs A GREAT
AUDIENCE.
"Men are only boys grown tall;
Haa "A = tios,t shau-,a uaueh affair M

"Men are only boys grown TALL
Hearts don't change much, after all"
The .'grestest event Of the 18th cent.
ury" packed the South Paris Congrega.
tional vestry Friday evening, and very
fortunately packed IL so full that there
wasn't room for the "busted buttons
TO do much damage, otherwise the havoc
would have been greater than that
of the Cuban war.
The masculine supper was all rign'
aud did not boom the prescription busi-
ness much. We have lingering sus.
picion that some Of the masculine cook
Ing was done by female proxy. Ii was
''too good to be true"
When the curtain went up ii displsyed
an interior of the "little red school
house" well furnished with a choice As
sortment of school desks OF the patent
adjustable hydrant box variety. The
august appearance OF the school master
was in marked contrast TO the December
appearance Of the hydraut boxes. Judge
Wilson, as Master Bubbleton Spanker,
maintained the dignity OF the old-time
school master Ia all lis swe-iuspiring
detail, and the Infant class" was the
jolliest set Of little fellows that ever
throwed spit-bsll or chewed cud OF
gum.
Adelbert f.. Withsm, the first speaker,
WAS the good boy" of the school, and
was put first because, like George Wash
ington, who WAS first in war and first In
peace. he had been blsck-balled by the
Lvres Club. Dell is n struggling young
member of the school, and he struggled
hard. and smid many promptings sue
ceeded in disposing OF Three Black
Crows"
Harry Clark, the next speaker, appro-
pristely chose 1.-The Giant" as his Sc
lection. Barring very severe case OF
defective memory, SPAWN and two
ring bones, Harry did real well and was
awarded the first prize, monkey climb
ing a string, which he will cherish as a
''momento" TO his climbing ambitions.
Little Hermie Horne was timid about
coming out into the floor alone and so
his little brother. Chessie, was allowed
20 20 out with him. These are the cele-
brated Horne twins from the far-oii
shores of Norway, and as they came for
ward with united hsnds-dressed in
cunning Little Lord Fsuntleroy suits
and sang Little Drops ot Water" the
dear little fellows looked lust too
sweet aud cunning for anything '-the
ladies' said so, They brought down the
house and were given an encore, To which
they responded with "l.arboard Watch
and received rounds Of applause.
Horace y. Bolster spoke The Semi
uOle's Reply" Hoddie WAS billed az an
earnest boy, who was allowed to speak
with the proviso that guards should be
stationed 10 pull him in" should he
become too realistic. IL had the desired
effect. Il was plain that the boy had been
intimidated-s practice that cannot be
too strongly condemned, especially In
the case OF naturally timid children like
this one.
Walter 7. Maxim was advertised as
great on procrastiuation. and as his motto
MAS said 20 be Never do anything to-
day that can be put off until tomorrow,
the audience were surprised TO find that,
although late in coming 10 school, he
had selected his piece and could speak
part OF Il. The unfinished part he VIII
probably have ready for the next prize
speaking.
Chester W. Horne, one of the twins,
who is a very exemplary boy, but lives
In mortal terror of the girls-a propen-
sity " hich he hopes in time TO overcome
sang a solo that was very fine, ana
won much applause.
Charles ". BOwker, who had no hopes
Of getting the prize because he Is sickly
aud could not speak loud enough, did
first.rste for 30 small boy. His rem
dering of The Unfortunate Fly ito
apply a college expression TO the infant
class had no flies on it," What Charlie
lacked most WAS little more OF the
counter" movement in his gestures.
!. Hastings Bean, winner of the Sec
ond prize, is thus described, Elastic Is no
vellow-eyed bean, but the tall cranberry
variety. and when we'll soaked with
water is rich and luscious" He was so
sure Of one OF the prizes that he brought
a bag to carry IL home In, and he carried
home a pri1e-a tin horse. IL was evil
dent from the cut Of his pants that this
Bean was pulled too soon; he appeared
little green.
Little Hermie Horne AZ last overcame
his iimidity sufficiently To sing an excel
lent solo-in which the words shoulder
10 shoulder" caused Allie Morse TO break
down and cry violently. When asked
the cause 81 his great grief he responded
amid sobs that he was "'frsid twould
chafe their shoulders The school rose
up and gave three hearty cheers for
Hermie Horne. because he Was alone
and among strangers and they wanted
TO encourage him.
frankie winga'e played the accompan-
imeuts very nicely.
Nelson Elder won the sympathy OF
the audience by trying 10 speak "ihe
Boy Stood on the Burning Deck; but
Nelson is very, very shy, aud he became
so frightened that his hair stood on end ,
and he was Obliged 10 flee before the
4 me lii the battles wreck,
frankie Starbird, visitor TO the
school. who said he lived in hosting ,
was asked 70 speak piece and rendered
Peck's Bad Boys description of admin
isteriug the royal bumper degree 10 MS
pa In a very vivid manner. frankie has
had advantages beyond most OF the
speakers, aud was not eligible 10 COM
pete for the prize.
Thomas ;. Barnes was the prettlest
boy in the class, except Allie Morse.
Tommie was pert little fellow. Good
looking women in the audience were re-
ouested 20 cover their faces with their
hands while Tommie spoke, because he
was very susceptible. IL was noticed that
every woman thought this meant her
Tommie's piece WAS medley. lie Won
an encore on this verse:
MARY had a little lamb,
IL followed her each day,
TIL Mary wore a bloomer sun,
And then IL ran away