The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-01-05

mamma" and then she is appreciated be.
cause she never forgets the children. A
i standing newspaper joke is about the
woman who has to beg and worry her hus.
4 band for money, or who has to steal it
4 from him while he is asleep. l don't
believe in that woman. l know a good
many women and a good many men, and
I I don't know single man mean
enough to ask a woman what she
is going to do with the money
he gladly gives her; and don't know
4 single woman who objects to asking her
| husband for money, for she knows if he
has it she is welcome to it as the foWeTsot
| Nav. And as for women stealing money
we'll. think the average American woman
is sufficiently strong intellectually to get
the better of mean man, and to enjoy
herself by forcing him TO give her the
money against his will. But there are not
very many mean men. OF course there is
the exception that proves the rule, but he
is seldom a happy man, for the greatest
pleasure in life after all is the giving Of
whatever we hold best and most beauti-
full.
It ia q Measure to have somebody re.
member you, but that isn't half as pleas
ant as tying up package that is to go to
somebody else.
There is new idea afoat in regard to
the survival of the fittest. 1t IS SAID by
those learned people who know every
IHlilS ludtI III DOGu EuS4GA1O dLAS 4AOeAs
blondes are disappearing. This learned
person says that where you found ten
blonde women five years ago you lind one
now, and IN fifteen minutes walk on g
crowded street where 200 women were
counted of these thirteen only were
blondes, the rest having hair that ranged
from light brown to Jet black, and skins
ana eyes In harmony. Some famous Eng
hshmen who examined the hair OF thou
sand young women came to this conclu-
sion:
That the brunette was preferred to the
blonde IN matrimony In the ratio of three
to two. Then he explains the growth of
the brunette in this way: sit is a princi-
pie in the law of natural selection that
nature adorns its pets, the men and women
whom 1t wishes TO survive and continue
the race with such allurements as Will
prove attractive to the other sex" Now,
according TO this, nature has found that
men prefer brunettes, choose them for
wives, and then, through the hereditary
transmission of traits, the blonde becomes
extinct. This learned gentleman really
says sis becoming extinct and doesn't
say they are extinct, otherwise l couldn't
be alive, but l do agree with him that
there are fewer natural blondes.
Poets, however, explain IL IN another
way; they claim that men love brunettes
because they are more affectionate, that
blondes make intellectual and not loving
wives, consequently the blondes are out of
fashion. [ am sorry, but that is of no useA
for feminine grief against science is as
nothing against the British army, so all &
can say to the blondes is to be as perky as
possible about their wits, and corresponds
lngly contemptuouS OF the affectlonate bru-f
nette. The finest combination, mentally
and physically, so says French doctor, iS
the blonde hair, the brunette eyes, brOws
and lashes and the semi blonde skin. This
woman will never make herself unhappy
a.
and be sufficiently wise to be an agreeable
companion Learned doctors are great for
citing just what types of women men
ought to marry, and then if they commit
the act themselves they are just as likely
to make mistakes as mere ordinary men,
for after all doctors are no more infallible
than ordinary people who don't know the
names of the bones and the reason why
the nerves act as if controlled by Satan.
Personally, L prefer blonde baby,
dark man and a semi brunette woman.
Babies with black hair always look like
monkeys, while those with either fair or
perfectly bald heads do suggest angels. A
dark man may be no drawer than a blonde
one, but he looks it, and the girl with
black hair, blue eyes and a fair skin is a
thing OF beauty and Joy forever, but you
have got to go to the west of Ireland to
find her.
Whenever 1 sit in front OF the looking
glass and brush out my golden locks, and
realize that the scientists say that the
blondes are dying out, L chuckIe ct n
reflection and console myself with thin
verse:
If bards of old the truth have told
The sirens have raven hair.
But DER the earth since art had birth
They paint the angels fair.
Like Mr.. Silas Wegg, of honored mem
DRY, dropping into poetry hts been weak
ness of all great people, so added to the
list of Disraeli, Lord Salisbury, Mr.. GAM
BETA, Count Bismarck q did not say Mr.,
Cleveland) comes the name of Bah.
The applicants for the post of secretary
to the city of London schools reached tho
extraordinary number of 260.