The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-06-13
4 IDEAS tor qWnrnem.

rFIcIItf 5TF-FlS III TIT w PfCdSUICs II IFtu
be. and never dreaming of accepting an
i~nviEstiop which did not include her
friends.
Every enc for himself. Z is the modern
sentiment, and in.'smal,t'' country houses
the host and hostess are absolved from
any particular effort, and are as much
at lsberty 10 seek their own pleasure and
fill their personal engagements as If they
were alone.
Al Newport especially it is an unwrlt-
ten law that guests should form their
own engagements and provide for their
own amusements, almost as Independently
as if they We're stopping at a hotel. This
fn-de-siecle way of treating a visitor
seems very odd at first to one who is not
versed in the latest fashionable tactics.
and is not always agreeable to a stranger
in a strange land; but to those who nave
their friends and are Sufficiently well
known and popular such freedom is really
delightful.
Men of the world who. as a rule, dis
like visiting. enjoy this liberty immensely,
and are always ready TO accept any in
vitaticn from such sources, but for the
timid girls the ordeal or a visit at one of
the Newport mansions is quite appalling.
When Miss A. received an Invitation
from her mothers old friend, Mrs. W.,
who lived in great style at that most fash
ionabie watering place in the Summer,
she was delighted beyond measure. and
locked forward to the visit with the most
joyful a-nticipations.
For days beforehand she and her sisters
We're busy preparing her simple but pretty
toilets. and many were the jokes and
prophecies made by the family and ac-
ouaintances over her possible ~conquests.
When the time arrived she started off,
full of pride and consequence, but a sad
der and wiser girl she returned home a
week later.
Did 1 enjoy myself?' she exclaimed in
answer to the chorus OF Inquiries on her
arrival. We'll, l think may safely say
that never in my life did 1 have such an
utterly stupid time.
"At first 1 thought Mrs. w extremely
rude. she seemed 50 neglectful; but I
was saved the falunder of betraying my
wounded feelings by being told by a
kindly little man. who was also a visitor
at the house. THAT it was the accepted
Newport custom to let people look out for
themselves. and as he was good enough
to take pity on my loneliness 1 got on
fairly Well. but at first I thought 1T
dreadful. On my arrival I was met at the
station by Mrs. VS. own maid Ca most
particular and unwerSted attention, I
found out afterwards. who put me in a
smart little brougham, gave my check to
the foctman, who was in attendance, and
tcld him to put my boxes on a cab and
follow. Whereupon we were whirled off,
without waiting, to the VS. palace, for
I can call It no other name"
"Thete I was admitted by one liv-
cried servant. passed on by a second, and
finally told by a third that Mrs. w. had
been obliged to go out, but that she
had ordered tea in my rooms. and that
she would be back before long. I found
my apartments (for I had a bedroom and
a little sitting room, I must acknowl-
edge, really charming it was a foggy,
chilly depressing day, and a. bright little
fire of cedar-wood filled the air with
fragrance, while a soft couch, a table
covered whit periodicals and the latest
novels, and a pretty little tea ~equipage.
which the kind maid arranged with hot
buttered toast, jam and a delicious cup
Of tea, quite censoled me for the alb
sence of my hostess.
she did not put in an appearance I'M
til very late, when she ran in hastily to
welcome me most kindly. said she was
so very sorry that she was dining out,
and vanished again.
Feeling very lonely and homesicksI
changed my frock. and had the pleas
ure of dining by myself. served by a
pompous old butler and two footmen.
Tt was a dinner of half a dozen courses.
VII i0h 7 hnd ~ rs4 +tu1,-.~1 -
longing to get up and run away.
The next day several people arrived.
and some of my friends looked me up.
and things looked better: but as for
Mrs. w, I hardly saw her. I have so
enjoyed your visit, she said to me sweet
~. when l was leaving. Tell your mother
she must lend you to me again soon.'
Again the maid took me to the station,
and / was shipped home.
When 1 think of the way a girl is
treated when she comes to visit us, of
dear mammy's motherly kindness, and
the way she is feted and entertained by
every one, I cannot help thinking how
really better It is to be less fashionable
and more thoughtful and warm-hearted.,,
s
One clever woman who was brought up
In the city but who has for the last few
years been living in the country, sue
ceeded in strongly i-ndividualizing her
self in the memory of the friends she
left behind her by sending them every
season a generous bunch of lavender
from a really, truly old-fashioned gar
den belonging to a spinster of the aCran-
ford type.
She engages all that grows in that
peaceful little sequestered corner Of the
earth where maiden meditation re-peo-
pies the shaded walks with forms long
"hitted." or, perhaps. never more than
dream heroes, and taking as much as
she can hold in her hand, wraps the
long stems closely together with tinv
lavender ribbon, rolls the bunch IN
spotless tissue paper and then in white
manila, On which she inscribes some
apropos lines or a CHEEKY message, and
mails it to an Invalid or to those aesthe-
tic friends who know how to use it in
the fin de steele way-that is, the Eng
lish way of burning it in a room which
they wish to fill with its elusive sweet
ness.
Our Crawford cousins across the water
not only use lavender to lend an aroma