The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-09-18
The InsuIted Donkey.

We were snowbound at Calgary, North
west Territory, and our party consisted of
four drummers, who did their best to kill
time until the Canadian Pacific snow
ploughs would clear the track, says a
writer in the Minneapolis Journal. Tom
Sykes was the life of the party, and proved
a never-failing source of wit. We were
sitting in the Office of the hotel after din
ner, and the subject Of animals and their
peculiarities was being discussed.
did you notice" said Tom, "how some
animals will obey the voice of man as in
teHigenly as a human being? l have sue
ceeded," said he, sin becoming an expert
in that line. I can suggest the most i'm
probable idea to any animal, and it will
be carried out to the letter"
A donkey hitched to a cart which con-
tanned crockery, glassware, etc, was
standing directly in front of the hotel
Now" said he, Il can go out to that
donkey and will tell him to strike a swift
gait down the street and he viii obey me-"
OF course we laughed at the idea, and
when Tom offered to go the price of the
wine should he fail he was Immediately
taken up. The driver of the cart had
great faith in his animal, and agreed to
undertake all responsibility of accidents.
Tom slipped a dollar in the mans hand
to close the bargain and walked over to
the donkeys head.
whisper few words, but at the same time
dropped a few hot ashes from the end of
his cigar into the ear unobserved.
With a grand plunge the Infatuated beast
bolted down the street and ran pell-mell
into telegraph pole, bringing wreck of
erockery, etc, to a dead stop on the side
walk.
The peddler was in a terrible stew, and
soon as his fractions donkey was safely
in the barn he hunted Tom up and de-
manded damages.
Tom refused and he went to the mayor,
and Tom was summoned before that dig
nitary the following morning.
The driver presented his case, and sta
| ted that before the defendant had spoken
to the animal it had always borne a good
| reputation; had never been known to run
! away, and that to the best of his belief the
| destruction of his wares and the disgrace
| full conduct of his four-footed friend was
| due to the influence exerted by the defen-
| dant.
The defendant clearly demonstrated to
| the court that he had secured the privi-
lege from the plaintiff, who had under
| taken the responsibility of possible results.
| At any rate, the case was dismissed.
AS Tom was leaving the court room the
presiding officer called him back. "Mr.
Sykes said he, 'you will pardon me, but
| l am curious to know what you said to
| the donkey, and, while it is not necessary
| for you to make a statement the court
would feel gratifed if you would favor
us" Tom demurred, and stated that it
was only of private nature, and would
not prove interesting The Judge overruled
| the objection and persisted in his request.
Well" said Tom, Il will tell you. !
told the donkey that he was greater ass
| than the mayor of Calgary, and he simply
| couldn't stand it, your honor
| What effect the remarks had upon his
| honor we never knew, for as Tom had con-
| Guided the whistle Of a passenger train
was heard and we FASTENED to the hotel
| for our grips.