The herald., 1896-01-07
He UDburdens Himself of a Num-
ber of Protests
HE WANTS TYNDALL BURIED
Treats PointedIy Of Political Officials
Requirements
The Circular Nuisance Described-Advice
to Correspondents -Prowiers on North
1ain and Spring Streets

EDITOR HERALD-The late developments
in the blackmail or libel case of Rev. C. o.
Brown of San Francisco shows very clearly
that the usual ministerial practice of Civ
ing advice and spiritual consolation to the
"love-lorn females" that haunt the pas
toral study is, to say the least, ininites.
sinai, very unworIdly and very injudicious.
There are some thousands of doctors and
dentists and lawyers and typewriters and
others who might we'll take tina and pru-
dence by the forelock and take a little
child for company for prudential reasons
on many occasions. We must look before
we leap, or we shall weep.
4 4
Now that Tyndall is about to be buried
alive, or otherwise. he should take with him
some ''money to burn." In order to make
his purse more plethoric I renew my for
mer offer on the same terms aud condi-
tons, except that | will give him 500
word for his chari able purposes for each
successful reading" and lie must awe me
500 "A word for my charitable purposes for
each failure. Professor Tyndall should Law
IN all the available tinder for his finder
boxes. IN the interest OF science 1 should
like to see the test.
p
We have many kinds of protection
against nuisances. Why cannot we have
law against mailing an innocent man all
sorts of circulars" A busy man has no
time to 90 through q mass of letters and
pick out stuff sent by fakirs and charla-
ians aud ''green goods" men and medicine
frauds and other hopeful thieves.
q = =
The police are hereby notified that the
strip OF territory known as "Commercial
street, between Main and Alameda" is the
scene of more free fights between ] pm.
and am. than any other section of the
molly city.
No alarm seems sufficient to attract a
policeman to that section during the fight
ing season. as aforementioned.
As denizen of the Eighth ward, am
often compelled to journey that way at an
unreasonable hour, and have more than
once found that a dose of Smith & Wes-
sons purgative pellets, or a glance at the
shining barrel that held them, was the
only Ell hcient remedy.
do not like TO use drastic remedies;
hence this call for the mild and gentle
police of this city.
Many people have doubted the ancient
story of Joseph. Local denizens who have
walked along North Main street and North
Spring street after 10 o'clock at night
have told me that they have come to be-
lieve in the story of Joseph.
The Faro's or Pharaoh's daughters that
haunt that region at a late hour are becom-
ing by-word and productive of genuine
horrid oaths.
X Il 4
One of my gentle correspondents thinks
that my late epistle did not include all the
qualifications of public officials in this
country. 1t did not
School teachers are expected to know
everything, to please every body and the
children; and they are really required TO
work many hours each day at a certain
kiud of work.
All other officials must have certain
mental, moral, and physical qualifications:
Mentally, they must not be in a lunatic
asylum; morally, they must not be- in the
peni entiary; physically, they must not be
dead.
& 4 u
Besides, 1 think it necessary to bury
Tyndail and to build school houses. Yours
truly, EDWARD iuTcHIsoN.