The DeLamar nugget. [volume] (DeLamar, Idaho) 1891-1900, 1896-05-09
THE TROUBLES OF JONES.


Hatchington Green, Hatchington, the
celebrated Jones, though gay it my
self-Jones, the solicitor, at the corner
house on the Green, the great Jones,
whom everybody knows.
state this as simple truth. AM
not vain man; if / feel that / am SUI
perior to all the other Joneses in Hatch
ington, that. is natural opinion-and
my own pyivate opinion-which am
not likely to thrust upon the attention
of my fellow-creatures Heaven for
bid
Jones is not an uncommon name,
and one must infallibly encounter
other Joneses in the course of ones
pilgrimage through the world, and be
taken for those other Joneses at times
in the newspapers, no matter what
Objectionable proceedings, civil, uneivil
or criminal, those other Joneses may
have been up to.
That is the excessively awkward part
of it, and that accounts for the story
1 am about to relate as graphically as
my powers viii allow.
My enennies-and all remarkable men
have their enemies-will tell you an
other kind of story. "a water-on-the-
brain kind of man" ga swelled-head
sort Of fellow" my enemies have been
heard to whisper of me; but am above
their petty calumnies-far away on the
mountain tops above them.
And now for the other Jones, who
must come and pitch his tent on Hatch
jngton Green also, or rather IL q little
trunrery house just around the cor
ner of the Green.
Mr.. Timothy Jones arrived at the lit
tie corner house, and began business
there as minor poet. I came across
his name sometimes in the newspa-
pers, and once across his portrait, size
of a postage stamp, at the top of a para
graph of a half-penny evening newspa-
per, and the exact image of sooty Jack
Sheppard, without the fringe, mon
strous picture. end labeled ST. Jones,
of HntchingtoD Green :
Don't think a great deal of your
husbands portrait in the Evening Per
twinkle" one of my wife's friends
wrote to Mrs. Thomas Jones; very
unlike him, especially about the nose.
I am surprised to find that your hus-
band is q poet, too"
If had wanted to write poetry
could have turned off rcams of rhyme,
1 dare say. 1 consider to be confounded
with the man at the corner in the Even
ing Periwinlde was my first humiliat-
ing blow
Presently it came to packets of proofs
being left at my house by the mistakes
of laundering postmen, and then to
importa11S Setters of mine going to his
house, and his trumpery correspond
ence coming to mine.
Once this Timothy Jones called ON
mig to inquire if had taken in a New
Zealand leg of mutton by mistake; it
should have reached him from Leaden-
hall market by 12 noon.
He was a civil enough young fellow,
was Timothy Jones, but overccnfdent.
was glad to put him in his place, now
that the opportunity had presented
itself.
NO. sir; we do not deal in New
Zealand mutton here" ] explained
Mrs. Jones has an insuperable objec-
ton TO cheap meats, and your mutton
would not have been allowed to come
into the house."
All this was very aggravating to me;
still more aggravating when | found
that my servants had taken the New
Zealand mutton in after all. 1t had
come bv carriers cart and the other
Jones had not suggested itself TO the
servants minds.
And there it was discovered on our
premises at five in the afternoon, and
had heard Timothy Jones say that his
dinner was fixed for six.
sent the mutton around by the
paee. and as Mrs. Thomas Jones
thought it was our duty to apologize
I followed the mutton when it had got
a good way upon the road-out OF
sight and smell.
Timothy Jones was out, so Isaw Mrs.
Timothy Jones, pretty little woman
enough, with too much of smile, per-
haps. / made my apology deliberate
Iyand formally, and think was
impressed by it.
She hoped that had not troubled
myself to bring the mutton around
great Heavensl-it was of no conse-
quence now, as another joint had been
procured from the local butcher, and
so forth.
Mrs. Timothy Jones offered to shake
hands with me, which l thought a
rather familiar proceeding. But L
shook hands, and actually kissed that
sticky boy and wished-odd that was
that there were three such children
running about that big house of NINE.
A few weeks later came the great
source of annoyance, even OF shame
rust as if it were any fault of my ownl
TE4rs is published on Saturday IN
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