davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
The Ideal Psnacea.

James L. Francis. Alderman, Chicago,
says: II regard DR.. Kings New Dis
covery ss sn Ideal Penacea for Coughs.
Colds aud Lung Complaints, having used
1t In my family fo2 the lsst Ave years
TO the exclusion OF ply siclan's p.escrip-
sions or other preparations"
ksv. John Burgug, Keokuk, Iowa,
writes: II have been q minister of the
Methodist Episcopal Church fog so wears
or more, and have never found anything
30 oenenoia'. or tho, gave me such
speedy relief rs DR.. Kings New Disc
covery." Try this Ideal Cough Remed v
POW. Trial bottles free at Massie's
Pharmacy, 100 Jefferson street.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

e Gods
|Arriiviing
DAILY.
The WOOL DRESS GOODS FOR
\ SPRING WERE NEVER
PRETTIER

Designs we're never more
unique or pleasing. Co1ors
are soft, winning, and values
{ are down as never before. Can
! you tell what magic it Is that
brings you such excellent
fabrics as those described be-
low for SO little money
Atwood 36-inch Dress
Goods, only csc yard.
Wool Plaids for Wal is at
csc per yard.
Silk and wool, small checks;
they would be cheap at soc,
our price only 371lc.
Silk and WOOL Novelty Dress
Goods; sold everywhere at 75c,
we only ask Coo, they are per
feet BEAUTIES.
: High class Novelty Dress
!, Goods at 81 per yard; price
them elsewhere and you will
Pbe told $1.37H.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Five Big Gases Of New Stub Opened Today
Here are Portions Of Their ConentsI
SILK GINGIFANJS.

LOCO yards silk Ginghams msao 70 coil =.
3% 1v, oong9t them cheap. They go at gee
,,; x, pieces New Percalee. embracing some en-.
gradee--fast colors at l2Xc. VIC oes'
uV pieces bran New Wash stufrs in tho
White WHY hn nla eeets; Persian effects, black and
from 1oc to 25c the ysrdNdescriptions r arn
possi1,e mere. Cali and ask to zee them.
AI ~ c the yard, IS pieces OF Plain White
n r,xuI,eu Iiques and Satin Striped White
D ast;r nade 70 cell at 25c. The maker over.
Thn their selling qualities at that price
AL AZ l9c the yard. 2,5C0 yards OF short length
Linon on the market-they 20 at i(c the ward
~ AT 'Oc tho ysrd pieces OF finest onaiitv
ins. aa Table Damask. the Identical 81 sort;
'ust 70 eo MAKE stir In Linens zoe the yard.
Az cue the yard, 6sinch German Tail,
a 1a.i nas heavy quality-made to bring
OUc; our lef1cs &C the yard DA'"e
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
KID GLOVES.

u me new Spring Styles now ready.
MD 1loves this season and can now suie Won
WA, aa g e YES that win give satisfaction.
,o al n a the pair "guaranteed' ladies' 4 But.
broidery. wan D'a'A hh'-
Al 81 the pair guaranteed" the new bufr
or OnsmPaghe Shade in Button Glacc Kid
AZ 81 the pair guaranteed" Heavily EN-
or1idered Button Black Gloves.
We are showing in White Champagne
ana BLACK the very latest thing ont in fine Kid
Sioves. Every pair heavily embroidered in
n Wnite and Blsck-nobby errects Tho new .
n Dntt q. length, finest kid matc, at si75. TRY
one Oh these IL you want satisfaction.
we still have more of the reduced ISi5
Si9Ves which we are closing at 99c.
remember. these reduced Gloves are our
FORMER Sl'So and $3.50 Real Kid Giovcs.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Notice.

Mr.. DAVID JONES. cutter for Jos.
Cohn, Lynchburg. Va will be in this
city to-day to take measures for fine
tailoring. Mr.. Jones reputation as
cutter puts him at the head in this
State. II you are in want of stylish
business or dress suit call to see Mr..
Jones ct the Ponce de Leon. Hotel or
Jos. Cohns store, where he will have
the finest selection OF foreign woolens
ever exhibited in this city. Jos. COIN.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
They Are Here.

THE Kentucky horses are here and ON
exhibition at Williams stable and they
are the best lot ever brought to Roa-
noke. The sale will be on Friday the
goth instant, rain or chime. Positively
no by.bidding. Every horse put up will
be sold for the highest dollar.
j. Y. CoFFR,
Louisville, XIV.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
READN-MADE SKJRTS

- We arc Offering some eye-openers in Ready.
plain and figured. Mohair Is the fabric of the
season, you know. Note the prices:
IA; A. sssa, nice quality Mohair skirts, full
wiutn. latest styles, lined throughout. vel.
Vc!cen bound; would be cheap at double
AT xa25, black figured Mohair Skirts. lined
.nrong hout, full wide, velvcteen bound. worth
At 81, plain Siclian Mohair Skirts fpu
Wluth, one wide box p!ait, velvetcen bound
iined throughout: can't make II ut the price.
and Sc so. &c at eo
Ihcy are all cheap. See the line.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
BLACK DRESS GOODS

'1n profuslon, such as Serges,
Henriettas, Mohairs In plain
and fancy black, and fifty diff
ferent styles of fancy blacks.
Agents for the celebrated
Gold Medal Plush Goods; every
yard guaranteed.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

MRS MURPHY calls her slipper Cas-
soria" ?? because the children CRY
after It ~
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Wanted.

BOARD for the members of the Ros
noke baseball team of eighteen mer
Address G. w. BOYER, Manager, Ponc
de Leon Hotel.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Miners May Strike.

The Hinton Republican says: "S.ate
organizer OF the United Mine Workers ia
Ia the New River Valley this week, or
ganizing the miners as fast as possible.
1t Is rumored that as soon as they are
thoroughly organized general strike
will be ordered in the Ksnawha, New
River and Pocahontas fields"
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

Slightly disfigured, but not I'm The
Ring" and can still furnish coal at 81 q
ton. Office, 102 Roanoke street 8. W.
Phone 2l0. j. Fl. WILKINSON &c Co.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Met by q Delegation.

The Hiberniana sent a delegation yes
terdsy to meet Edward Harrigan, who
played "Old Lavender" at the Academy
last night, and invited him to attend
Their lass night after the
show was over.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
new WASH GOODS

Arriving daily. Come and see
them. We will take pleasure
Sin showing you our assert
ment.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

GENTLEMEN desiring q delightful
place to board can be sAccommod ated q,
MRS. l.. E. EVANS, SIS Roanoke street
8. W. The most beautiful and inviting
location in the city.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

HARrLY 6 day passes that we do not
rent or sell somebody house LIST
yours with US il you want it disposed of.
w. A. Pedigo & Co., No. Campbell
avenue a. a.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
He Ia n Live Man.

The friends Of L. II. Vaughan are
urging him to offer himself for City
Councilman to represent the First ward
Mr.. Vaughan IL a live man and has the
ability to make good Councilman.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Rev. Mr.. Cook Called.

Rev. Leslie Cook, of Washington, D.
c.. has been called unanimously by the
members of the East Roanoke Baptist
Church. IL is not known whether he
will accept the call or not, but the gem
eral impression Is that he will.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
HustiDgs Court.

HubtIDHB COurt.
In the hastings court yesterday Kissie
White qualified Ga administratrix OF the
estate of Lsrkin White, deceased. giving
bond In the sum OF $50. with Moses
johnson as surety. The case CT Dr..
Stone vs.. the city for balance due him
for attending the smallpox cases last
summer was begun and Is still in pro-
gress.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

AT 2oc the yard, either Black French Serge.
enecte. anu 'iAnnei
Serge in this country. 'eNen
\, AT 69c the yard great range of Figured
SMonalr' wide wool Diagonal Cheviot, 50 inch,
oeiSes Crepons, etc, you ever saw.
~ AT $i5c: Sc and 81 great range. of Fjeurad
Monairs, Wide Wool Diagonal Serges. Fine
rs S serges, Plain Mohairs; Landsdownc'
great line-when you zee them ali.
some very handsome new things inst mt
on sale in Fine Black Goods. '' pD'
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
RORRIBLn AocIpESv.

Aho'ner foung Man Ground to Death I'm.
der Car Wheels.
Another human life has been ground
out under the ponderous and cruel
wheels OF railroad train.
ms time the victim was Walter
Small wood, a freight brakeman on the
Norioik and Western, who had been
EN- pioged on the road about ak months.
When the train reached Manor. n small
stAtlon near Rlverton, the young man.
wni.e IN the act OF stepping from one
cst 70 snotner, slipped ana fell betw cen
them. Ae he descended to the track
nnder the rolling train Q heart rendlnR
cry issued from his lips. 10 was his
last utterance.
Inc train was going at flying speed,
ana shortly after the accident occurred
northbound freight sped by. The
crew OF the latter WAS notified to look
ous for Smallwood. Several miles from
the piace where he fell his mangled and
gnsssiy remains were found lying along
the track some distance from the SPOT
where he met his death. His BODY had
been caught and rolled along, grinding
ana MASKING it out Of all human re.
sem nlance: The freight crew rolled the
mu'ilated form in blanket and place d
IL aboard the train and proceeded TO
kiverton. There the body was placed
In the hands OF an undertaken and pre-
pared for burial. Sunday morning the
rem aims were forwarded 10 Grafton, w.
va, where Smallwood's parents reside.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Belmont Baseball Club.

A grand entertainment will be given
ut the Old Opera House Friday night,
the Goth, for the benefit of the Belmont
Baseball Club. A good time Is promised
to al who attend.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Local Bits.
News of People
and Events.
Happenings Briefly and"ReIiab|y
Put Before You.

A marriage license was issued yester.
daY to w. E. Brown, chief clerk at the
West End roundbouse, and Miss Mile
Barksdale of Fourth avenue n. W. The
marriage will take place to-day.
T. T. Flshburne, president of the
National Exchange Bank. will address
the students of the National Business
College this morning on the subject:
1.-The Element of Success, or the Guar.
acter That Will Succeed" Visitors are
invited.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

iivea: and OF Joppa. Besides these at
sne close Of the lecture twenty five or
more pictures Of miscellaneous char
aeter Will be thrown upon the canvass.
lnese pictures are about nine feet in
diameter: The admission Is only 10
cents. Tickets can be purchased from
snoee who are selling them or at the
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

1882 Figures.
ONE of the best corner lots on Park
street in Lewis addition 5Ox13O feet
Beautiful location. Price $3.50 cash. j.
f. WINGFIELD. 21O Commerce street.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

Baseball Notes.
Jack L.Fleur. catcher, arrived At
noon from Portage, Wis. Although he
had been on the railroad since last Sat-
urday morning LsFleur was &c the
grounds acticing in the afternoon, and
the way he handled himself was very
gratifying to the crsnks. He is In good
condision, having been skating and
curling all winter He is we'll built.
stands feet inches and weighs now
155 pounds and in condition $50 pounds.
On Friday the remainder of the team
will arrive and during Friday and Sat-
urday only light practice will be taken.
Commencing Monday, however, Mana
ger Boyer will have them hard at work
twice day.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
VIII Como UP To-day.

The Hoge Otey contested election case
will come up for what will doubtless be
Its final hearing to-day before the House
committee on contested elections at
Washington.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
The Y. M. L. Smoker.

1ne Il M. L: Smoker.
The Young Mems Institute. of this
city gave their third annual smoker at
their rooms In the Commercial Bank
building last night. IL WAS quite larg ely
ate nded and all spent a most enjoyable
evening. The address of the evening
was delivered by Capt. G. A. McHugh,
and the following too sts were responded
to: "VIrginia." j. Allen Watts; "Our
Sister Societies" Fl. A. Gillis; 1.-The Ju.
dietary the Sheet Anchor of Our Lib
erty," Judge Woods; 1.-THE City of Ros-
noke." j. Yonge; THE Press" l.
Stewart; ny. III. l." A. L. Seifert; Ire.
land, )" a. j. Loughery. James M.
OBrien and Frank Korte also responded
to appropriate toasts. Several song Sc
lecsions were rendered by q ouartette
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
now About Tbi,p


To THE TIMEs:-It has been ststed
that unless The TIMES "lets up" on the
coal question the Norfolk and Western
ana Castner IL Curran will make the
people OF Roanoke pay six dollars ton.
AS this report 10 evidently put out for
efeci and will doubtless reach your
office. II it has rot already done so, 1
write to express the hope that THE
TINES vii! not allow itself to be intim-
idased or bulldoza I'd by such threats. II
is the wish Of ninety-nine per cent, of
the people OF R anoke that you keep up
the fight, and 1t is the hope and belief
OF an equal number that sooner or later
your efforts in behalf OF an oppressed
people Will be crowned with success.
ONE OF THE VICTIMS
SEND or telephone your orders for coal
to the Farmers Supply Company, Mar
ket Square.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Lectures on Travel.

Lectures on Travel
Tho lecture of Mr.. Fishburne on
Thursday night in the lecture room of
the First Presby terrain Church on
Jerusalem and the Jordan Valley"
will be that OF traveller who eDjoye d
special advantages in visiting the land
OF Palestine. His party WAS private and
had access to places out OF the usual
route of tourists. His lecture will have
all the pleasant features of personal OBJ
servation. This lecture will be illus
trated. Come and see picture of the
Dead Seq, OF Jerusalem from Mount OF
Olives, of the Tomb of David, OF
Bethany. where Mary and Martha
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
The Bond Given.

In the case of the Injunction ainst
j. w. Sweet and G B Houghton, which
Judge Dupuy recently refused to dis
solve, but ordered ths. defendants give
additional bond in the sum of $4,000,
the said defendants fled their bond yes
terdsy with G. II. Vines, j. II. Hoge, G.
p. Martin. Jno. Martin. Geo. Porterfield
and l.. j. Porterfield as sureties.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
For Oily Sergeant.

w. S. Camden announces himself az
candidate for the office of CITY SER
Reans in this issue of The TIMES. AS
constable Of Roanoke city Mr.. Camden
has discharged his duties with fidelity
and zeal. He is very popular and is we'll
qualified for the position he now seeks.
IL elected he will display the same
qualities as city sergeant that have won
him praise az constable. He will make
an efficient and faishful officer.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18

most enjoyable st. Patrick's sociable
WAS given at the residence of Mr.. and
Mrs. Samuel Phelps on Holiday street
Q. 6. last highs in honor Of Miss Mary
Webb. Of Gawley Bridge. w. ", and
Miss Lula Phelps, of Walkers Ford,
Va. The evening was spent In various
games, music and recitations. About
forty guests we're present and thew
thoroughly enjoyed themselves.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
Two Of last weeks Bargains
are sold and we now mem
ton a. few Of our
Cheap Lots:

NO. 1.-Two 6-room houses newly papered, near
Machine Works. s. c., $50 each; easy terms.
NO. 2-Six room house on Tazewell avenue g. e.,
large lot and stable, $1,000; $12 cash and
Sl2 per month
The herald., 1896-01-31

Boston paper INDUCES in a fiag at the
size of the Chicago girls Christmas stock
ing. The Chicago girls stocking is about
the size of her Boston sisters but when
she puts it on she fills it.-Chicago Tribune.
"Are you,'' she finally faltered, really
Duke?"
Can YOU doubt me?" he asked intensely.
She shvered.
almost everything is adulterated nowa-
days" she muttered.-Detroit Free Press
The herald., 1896-01-31
A Late Virtue Prize.

The French Academy occasionally awards
"virtue prizes" to persons whose extraordinary
devotion to old-fashioned duty or right hap
pens to become known. Lately such a prizs
had sacrificed years and health in the gallant
effort to support sick sister and the latters
two small children. But when a reporter who
fastened to carry the good to her
reached the poor dwelling he found the house.
hold in tears. The young martyr to duty had
lust died.
The herald., 1896-01-31
M Use for n Shooting star

Socks-What! You upon the Riaito! l
thought you were far away upon the ROAD
thrilling one-night stands in the surfing
melo6rama, 1.-The Woody West
Buskin-So l was, but Lymelignts, the
manager. is too realistic for me. Not con-
tent with real water in the freshet scene
and real tar and feathers in the White Cap
scene, he wanted the hero to shoot me with
real bullets, and threw up my contract
New York World.
The herald., 1896-01-31

While the old custom of having unlimited
liquid refreshments for New Year.; callers
has been quite generally abandoned, the
custom of men who swear off annually to
accumulate a vari-colored jag" on that
day prevails to an alarming extent yet
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Miss Rosebud (ae her first race)-And who
did you say that gentleman in the checked
suit was?
Mr.. Straight -Tip-Oh, that is S., the
bookmakeT.
Miss Rosebud s!astically)-Do bring
him up and introduce him. You know l dote
upon authors.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Grandpa-Don't get scared. Willie. The
tiger is about to be fed-that's what makes
him jump and roar so.
Willie (easily)-Oh, I amt afraid of him,
grandpa. Papa's the same way when his
meals amt ready.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Ethel-So you have heard Yvette. How
lovely! Are her songs really as bad as the.
say?
Maude-Oh far worse!
Ethei-Do sing one.
Maude-Oh, couldn't. It's quite-well--
quite too awful; but I'll tell you what
I'll recite the words.-Chicago Times Her
aid.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Proud Brton (whose dog has dropped
verboard)-Captain, l say, stop the en-
gine.
Captain-I am not allowed to do that ex-
cept when a man falls overheard.
Proud Briton (as he jumps into the water)
Now you can stop.-Tid Bits.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Hicks-Times are pretty hard, can tell
vou Why, it's all l can do to keep my
family out of the almshouse.
Wicks-And is the almshouse in your
town really so attractive as that?-Boston
Transcript.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Mrs. spooner-why, Algy, you haven't
smoked but one cigar out Of that poA got
you month ago!
Spooner-Well. dear, cigars are ike "ine'
you know; they improve with age!
The herald., 1896-01-31

"How do you manage to make yourself
80 popular with all the old bachelors?"
widow ask them for their advice.
He-And do you manage it in the same
way with the young ones?"
Widow-Oh, no; with them l ridicule the
advice the older ones give.-Woonscckes
Reporter.
The herald., 1896-01-31

John. this is very lad report you bring
ne from school,"
Jobn--I know, father; but you know you
eaid If would bring you home first-class
report you would give me shilling, and l
Wanted to save you that expense.
The herald., 1896-01-31
DreRking 1t Gently.

Little Ella-Papa, l know what am 60
ing to give you for your birthday.
Father-What is it. child?
Ella-A beautiful beer glass.
Father-Why, my dear. have already go:
one.
Ella-Yes: but broke it Just now.-Da-
helm Kalendar.
The herald., 1896-01-31
SEEN HERE AND THERE.

Fancy handled umbrellas are not as much in
vogue as the natural wood ones
Narrow lizard-skin belts are among the ad-
vance guard of summer fancies
messenger boy in spectacles and gray
shawl is one of the cold weather sights.
The long sealskin ulster is no more. Its
weight as well as its price was against it,.
An imported gown shows panels of feathers
that look like the breast of brilliant bird.
The song, "He Never Cares to Wander From
His Own Fireside,' is very popular just now.
The herald., 1896-01-31

do you think you have self-possession
and nerve enough to be a reporter" asked
the managing editor Of an applicant.
II think so, sir"
"And what makes you think so?"
'Im only twenty" was the reply, "but
have proposed to Ave different girls"
He was taken on.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Lady Mary Douglas Hamilton Is only IL
years old but she is one of the greatest heir
esses in the world. She is the daughter OF
the late Duke of Hamilton and received from
him her large fortune, affording her an income
of about 100000 a year.
The herald., 1896-01-31
FLASHES OF HUNOR

II cant see why it is,'' said Bobby. that
when little boys are cross, folks say thev
are naughty; and when papas and mammas
are cross, folks say they are nervous."-
Harper's Bazaar.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Mrs. Willowsnap calling on Mrs Wran-
gle)-Your mother has a lot of new furni-
ture, hasn't she, Willie?
Willie-Yes'm, and the man comes here
every week to collect the bill.
The herald., 1896-01-31
Friend-Magnificent dog that

Friend-Magnifcent dog, that.
Mr.. Suburb-Yes. he's thoroughbred.
bought him for watchdog. Paid f100 for
him.
Friend-Well he's worth it. Splendid ami
NAL! splendid. Finest I ever saw! But, by
the way, what's this other dog for: He's
measly, NANCY cur.
mere mongrel. Fact is, he's a common
Mr.. Suburb-Ye-s. I had to get him to
keep the thoroughbred from being stolen
The herald., 1896-01-31

Miss Oldun playfully)-Im older than
you think l am.
Miss Caustique-I doubt it.
The herald., 1896-01-31
Mamma. do you like stories?"
az lilo tr,,o opac ,,,x, child

Mamma, do you Ike stOr1es!"
Il like true ones. my child"
Shall l tell you a true one?"
Yes"
but you might not like it,
"Oh, yes, should if you told it."
But it is quite short. Well, once upon
a time there was d water bottle"
Yes, go on"
"And yesterday broke it; but I'll never
do 1t again. Topeka Capitol.
The herald., 1896-01-31
His Sfeady Job.

Chaffers-What's your occupationt
Tramp-I'm a collector, sor.
Chaffers-Of tomato cans?
Tramp-No. sor; av the livin' thot the
world owes me-
The herald., 1896-01-31

The most graceful of all domestic animals
is the cat while the most awkward is the
duck, but it won't do to use these facts for
a basis if you want to call woman pet
names.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Lady Visitor lin newspaper ofhce)-
There's ore thing about printing that
should dearly love to know.
Foreman-What is it?
Lady Visitor-Tell me, how do the COM
nositors manage to dot the is and cross
the is when they're putting the types to-
gether :-EXchapge.
The herald., 1896-01-31

Coffin Salesman Ito village undertaker)-
You are locking very blue. Mr.. Potter. How
is business?
Undertaken (sourly)-Aw. I am going to
sell out and leave this town-the confound-
ed Dlacs is dead.
The herald., 1896-01-31

"Bobbettson, the money you spend in
feeding that dog Of yours would assist ma
terially in keeping some poor man out Of
the almshouse."
Il suppose it would but the dog seems
really gfateful."-Indianapo Journal.
The herald., 1896-01-31

saleswoman-Isn't the cashier an awful
fool?
Floor Walker-Why?
Saleswoman-Why she gets $100 month
and is going to get married.-Chicago
ncNrd
The herald., 1896-01-31

Been married seven times, has he? Is
he man of leisure or otherwise?
''Oh, no; he's a hard working tailor"
What a remarkable instance of the sur
vival of the fittest."-Chicago Tribune
The herald., 1896-01-31

Misfortune seldom gathers friends. but
when it does they all stand around and
say, Il told you so.'
The herald., 1896-01-31

"Salt reminds me of the ocean. and like
IT," said prominent restaurant oyster, 'but
the exquisite torture of throwing pepper in
ones eyes is worthy of the middle ages"
The herald., 1896-01-31

Il declare" said Bella, sweetly, your
thoughts run exactly in unison with mine
Augustus. l had those very words in my
mouth
Yes, and I saw him put them there.
too" said little Johnny, who had seen tho
kissing going on.-London Telegraph.