Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-06-25


Will murmur to the summer girl
Il have drop on you.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Beliefs it hard to love man? Julia
Don't worry about that. 1t is easy
enough to marry one.-New York Her
aid.
She-They must have quarreled yes
terday. He-What makes you think
so? She-He's so attentive now.-Chi-
cago Record.
Friend-Do you always wait for in
spiration before you write a poem?
Authorize. l always need $40
Somerville Journal.
when err man declahs he doan' re-
greet muffin he ebber done,' said Uncle
Eben, 'he's either got er mighty good
conscience, er none at all.'-Washing
ton Star
He (earnestly)--Am i the first man
you ever kissed? She-Of course you
are. How stupid men are! | never
knew one who didn't ask that.-New
York Herald.
The deaf man now no longer needs
To walk the railroad ties;
The scorcher finds him on the street
And watts him to the skies.
Indianapolis Journal.
Stylus understand Versifer has be
come quite poet. Buckram--Some-
thing like that. No one can under
stand the stuff he writes.-Philadelph
North American.
WATERPROOF Dibbles! They say he
got pair of beautiful black eyes lately
l feel sorry for him. Tom-You needn't.
He got very handsome girl with them.
London Answers.
Olive-Td rather spend the winter
here than the summer. Violet don't
see how you can say such thing.
Olive-Why, then we could at least
have snow man.--Judge.
The catcher roughly)-Wha do You
know about basel ball, anyhow?-The
umpire Cooking at the bowling rooters)
Nothing; I'm the umpire. you know
Philadelphia North American.
Aunt-Why did you stare at that
gentleman so rudely, Ethel? Little
Ethel-Oh, he's a drefful man; he never
goes to church or nothing. / heard
father say he was an acrostic.-Judy.
After they had departed she wept
bitterly. Suddenly she ceased. 1t had
occurred to her that perhaps her tears
might fall on her new shirt waist and
spot it irrevocably.-Cin En-
Quirer.
II am very much afraid that Jimmy
is in mischief" said Mrs. Snaggs to her
husband Il can't hear him." replied
Mr. Snaggs. That's why I think he
must be doing something he ought not. :"
--Pittsburg Chronicle.
Howland-I understand Scorcher and
his wife have quarreled and separated.
Davis-Yes; he precipitated affairs by
telling her she couldn't ride a wheel
half as we'll as his mother did.-Phila-
delphia North American.
His Merited Punishment--"1 cured
Giddington of talking to me about his
smart little boy How did you do
it?'' Il told him all about the eleven
summers experience | nave had with
hay fever" Chicago Record.
What do you think of the bicycle
craze?" Great thing! | never took
SO much good exercise before in all my
life why. I didn't know that you
were riding 81 am not, but l have to
cross the street once in a while."-Chi-
cago Record
Millie-It looks as though the bicycle
would drive the horse out of existence.
Leayitt-Not a bit of it. The more BIZ
cycles there are the more they will need
horses. Millie-What for? Leavitt-
Ambulances.-New York Herald.
"Sweet one, love you,'' he whispe,
to his partner at the masquerade.
should think you would she rer
seeing that l am your wife"
know it, darling? What othe9
do you think I would say tt
Boston Courier.
..Of course I'm a friend CT
ingman,'' said the aspirines
Then why don't you Wort
ally?" asked one of his aufY!7MUry WI
that's simple enough. I ddAeklkkal4i
crowd some more deservingE--LL.--- -.
a ob."-Philadelphia North................N
=
..you must take care of ING TO A
was the physicians warningrp sper.
worry about anything, and dor
exert yourself 81 suppose yolsuz.
that | must take vacation INC
NO, what mean is that you mussod. I
main away from the summer resort
Washington Star.