Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-02-15

grave. As soon as the train could be re-
versed and run back to Terrace street the
Schlatter was welcomed by throng Of de-
formed, deaf, deliriumed and otherwise
dlsorded sons and daughters of the Whet-
stone valley. The healer had never before
met such gathering Of incurables. 1t
seemed to him that only second or third
coming Of supernatural power could remove
the physical infrmities Of those who stood
before him. Like other kinds of medical
practitioners the physician would only see
one patient at time. Upon entering
Postmaster Child's home the structure
shook like a sycamore in Kansas blizzard.
The house cat went through the nearest
window and the dog, "Dixie," had two
immediate attacks of hydrophobia, while
clock upstairs, as silent as stone image
on a monument for 10 years, commenced
to tick and strike simultaneously.
An Oak street resident who hasn't heard
heavy thunder ia years has row q sense Of
hearing SO acute that he heard that
the j" Majestic" would sail for Queens
town five days before she left New York.
A local lawyer, as deaf as an umbrella for
years, now affirms that he can hear a watch
tick GO feet away, and would promptly dis
cover burglar who invaded his home on
snow shoes to carry out heavy furniture in
open daylight A Dummerston lad with
hitch in his speech is-growing new palate,
while a Canal street woman has recovered
the daguerreotype of her first husband
which has been mislaid for 81 years. A
High street man, almost stone deaf for 81
/ years, is growing two drums (bass and
snare) in his right ear, and the old lady is
TO,
velous is the growth of fur on an old-time
cago and Boston fires. A social sore,
running for % years, has fully healed.
Although many of the cases were chronic
deafness a local marketman didn't take
treatment; but over 800 fine hams were
cured at his market during the healer's
stay in town. Editor Davenport was not
treated for mugwumpery because his case
was pronounced hopeless. Some of the in
mates of the Child's hospital haven't been
able to chew gum for years because of in
verted Jaws but the released bones of the
mouth now run like an up-and-down saw
mill with the gate fully hoisted.
rotund man who had snored the lath
and plaster off from four rooms and driven
his distracted neighbors into another school
district, was so atomized by the treatment
that it takes a vibrator, two stethoscopes,
two bottles of ammonia, and palm leaf
fan to detect the faintest breathing five min
utes after he retires. A man of weak brain
power was not electrocuted by the healer,
but was put upon a fish diet and ordered
to begin with two whales. Cases of de-
lirium tremens have been so successfully
treated that the Kelley, Ensor and Morrell
cures are entirely dispensable. A young
unwashed French child quotes Latin like
an aged jurist; its father took but one
treatment in English upon the common,
when the current was unrestrained. Elec-
: trio buttons are growing upon lilac bushes,
and an old spinning wheel is reeling off
magnetic spray. A most remarkable trans
) formation is that of Green street bache-
lor who is approaching the irreyocable line
, which separates manhood from senility.
| His well known aversion to women up to
: one short week ago was generally reeog-
!, nized. His recent hostility to woman
! kind was shown in his enticement OF a
2 worthy Oak street woman into the town
vault and her imprisonment behind an un-
yielding time lock. But since the healer
laid hands upon him he has developed
strong matrimonial symptoms, is eager to
confer suffrage on women, and hopes to
run on the Belva Lockwood electoral ticket
next fall. The case of well known rhell-
: matte deputy sheriff excites genuine surprise
4 He has always moved gradually and reluct-
antly in serving sudden process, but he
!. finds his trouble SO completely subdued that
he could dance the can-can and perform wild
acrobatic feats in the coming minstrel show
: A local photographer, drawn into the cur
: rent feet foremost, never sawed any wooc
: until last week The hulled corn wagor
: has grown new thills, and school commit
u tees are running without friction.
The Schlatter has returned to his wei
loved home with the plaudits of thousand
!. and with scores of out-of-fx people still
robbing him of well-earned rest. Later h
z will give an illustrated lecture on ''Bloom
) ing Fools" No reserved seats.-Argu
and Patriot.