New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-11-06
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Uncle Sam has refused TO give diploma 10 the
pupils Of Coins Financial School
Mrs Brown-Did you have good time at the
party last evening? .,, ,.u w.
s., there like mumchances and nobody had hardly
a word 10 cav We couldn't get anybody TO play
on the piano. you know-(Bosion transcript.
Tom Watson can get his letter back now. and
add two or three sizzling postscrpts TO IT,
A woman with only eye applied at the state
Department the other day for passport. me u,
dplomatc clerk who filed out the paper discreety
Inserted the following description In the blank OPP
posite Eyes Dark. SOFT, fu OF eNpiess.o" o"o
| Of them being absent "-tWashington i'mes'
After all. silver Dick" Bland has come out
ahead OF Bryan While he failed TO get the empty
honor OF n Presidential nomination on the Demo-
| cratic ticket. he has been elected TO Congress,
where he can make remarks about free silver that
will have to be printed In The Congressional
Record
M,sttess-What a fearful smell OF gas! ! suppose.
| Bridget II is all right in the dning-Toom;
Bridget oh yes mum. | blew 1t out long time
| ago in there.-U-ondon Fun
RaInaudriana upaudry
Thrved Madagascar air;
Rainaudria aupaudry
Was an officeholder there:
rlanaupaudry
Didn't sufficient care;
Rainaudria naupaudry
Has climbed the golden stair.
having been executed for completely in the recent
rebellion.
Lord Bareacres-You have called regarding the
| situation Of footman?
Applicant-Yes, my lord. . A..
Lord Bareacres-Was there not some one In the
nnrIIcant-There was, my lord. There was q
man with q writ for Your Lordship. but threw
him out. ,r,. ia.
In n letter written near the close OF his life.
James Russell Lowell uttered half-formed inten-
ton of organizing a Society for the prevention OF
Cruelty to Propositions a gentleman OF this city,
| borrowing the idea. suggests that II might be a
| good thing to have a Society for the prevention
OF Cruelty to the Apostrophe In his recent jour-
| neyings TO and fro In New-york and near 1t he
has noticed these wrong Of this necessary
punctuation mark: Commissioner Of Parks"
"Ricvclst's Rest" Mems Underwear"-all on
more or less conspicuous signs Why, he asks.
should not sign;panters be required to pass an ex-
aminati before engaging In that craft as horse
sboers are now obliged to show their skill before
| being allowed to drive nails into horses hoofs?
Deserving Death.-They stood looking at the man
who had been pointed out to them as popular
writer. 49,, ,.,, ,s A..
Oh" ION m yes yss. answered the one In gray
Then you must know something about him."
a do" returned the one in gray Hes one Of
that class OF writer's that make women 'gursle'
| when they talk"
Lets kin him." said the one In blue:
| But they were afraid OF soiling their clothes.
| And besides he wasn't worth the exertion.-(Chi-
cago Post.
An enterprising man has established an 'alibi
office" In Paris the object Of which appears to be
| to furnish a good working alibi for sorey beset
citizens who need that useful adjunct Of civza-
ton. But though he says he Is doing good bust
ness. he thinks he would have done much better In
| England. why" he sadly asks. did not found
| my office in England? should havefmade fort
une had done For the require nents meet
are multfarious. and. as matter Of fact. the
most extraordinary skeins Of incident have un-
wound themselves under my very eyes"
| A third OF q century ago we embroiled In
people Of the North and South. An active agent
| the Confederate cruiser whose career was one Of
Seamanship, No vessel Of her size ever excited SO
there was nothing the Northern people could say
that would adequately express what they thought
about her. but here we are burying the past deep
Ing one Of our .proudest bettle-shps BY the name
siated With Ill that was eondsmnabls. Qdobile