The sun., 1896-10-17
COMEDY OF THE CANVASS.
WHERE Wo ULD "7WO YUMPs" LAND
YOU'VE M'CLELLAN NOW7
story OF the Little Girl who Was Gisd
She He'd Kept Her Doe-Bowery Peach
GettinE Naughty = Letter TO Presi-
Dental Candidate Draws Literature.

| ihV ob hui hhdu was WOTEl0u ihsb
Col. George B. Mcclellan had been around the
Fifth Avenue Hotel In the early evening and
somebody had told the st. Paul man that the
| Colonel was looking for him. The St Paul man
was sorry he had not seen him. because he had
| 1t In his mind that he really could holp the
| Colonel on the financial question and II such q
| thing was possible he wanted 70 do 1t. But tho
| Colonel had gone away without seeing him. The
! st. Paul man paced tho corridor for fully an
| hour before he made his way to the accustomed
| place on the amen seats and stretched his legs
Tho fact is" he said. when the crowd had
gathered. Tho fact is. the Colonel has let this
matter 20 too far in tho Twelfth Congress dis
trict. 1t was bad enough, his taking the Tam
many nomination. That, of course. put stigma
on his candidacy at once. But IL ho had como
| out Immediately afterwnrd and reiterated his
sound money convictions and told exactly where
he would stand II elected It wouldn't have been
| so bad But no waited and waited and waited,
until 1t was too late. The sound money Demo-
Gratis are calling 70 him now to get on their
platform. WE'LL. t-h-i-s Reminds mo OF
little S-w-e-d-i-s-h incident
i've got couple of friends up in Minnesota.
YoD Yonson and Ole Oleson. They were going
on an excursion one morning. The boat was to
start from the dock at o'clock, and they didn't
get up until z. Well, by tho time they got
dressed and got their breakfast II was almost
time for the boat to start, and the dock was
twenty blocks away. They had bought their
tickets ahead OF time and they were bound to
catch the boat; so they ran for It. Yon Yonson
got 1t. Ole wasn't quite so fast, and he reached
the dock when the boat was swinging out. Yon
stood wringinE his hands on tho deck as he saw
Ole numbering down the dock.
"'Sump! Ole, Yump" he yelled. Aye tank
you skoll max 1t about two yumps.'
well, Col. Mcclellan has got just about as
good a chance to jump left now: It's too bad.
too; he's such nice young man."
L was running a show out West somo years
ago." said Lee Fairchild. when the crowd had
Quieted down after his last illustration showing
the idiocy OF 10 to /. IL had been out taking a
constitutional and Just as l was getting back
TO the theatre met little girl, and she had
bo o hs %nd shd pFfsGH saG tho.s
eyes that you look into about five miles and
never M and bottom. she heb, had beautiful M hair:
stuck out of the holes in her shoes. and her
dress was ragged. She was looking at the
could almost SEQ her say oh wish could CO.
Sissy. said what VIII you take for the
"' Fifteen thents thir' she lisped.
What said 1 fifteen centsy Why. yuu
ilne dog like that for fifteen cents You see
fifteen cents was the price OF admission to the
show and saw right away why she wanted to
",Yeth thir' she said Ill take fifteen thents
surrey. said I. patting her wavy hair and
looking, deep into those deep eyes. surely you
wouldn't part with such nice little companion
she hung her head and then she took two
more more looks at the billboard That settled her.
' sth shtr she ' said, al t'nii iii .ho him for
thensh hhc %, on; mlthter. won't you pleathe buy
90 Yes, sissy, / said. come with me and I'll
lobby and wro,. out pass Tor for % boz sea- seat 'n9
gave it to her and said: Here. sissy. here 10 a
1Gs gs , S .hs 'h%w and
eyes on me with a look OF doubt. and she rabbed
tn tis dog about the nee aTe hgegea it
Yes, sissy said |. 4 am the prime pal actor.
and and you wii y come tonight you will see that
and she hugged that dog again, while looked
box. and she had her little dog with her curled
up in her lap. When the show was over made
sIll lost in wonder. How did You ife'the ike the
play, little t one one Z asked.
"Wow-wow whoop." howled tho audience
Ana they whooped ii up for fair. Two or three
whcoping started again When he did have an an
Well fellow citizens, l don't blame the peo-
pie of the West for wanting free silver. After
everything free Those OF US who got into this
Cleveland show four years ago on passes and
glad we've got onr dogs left-thats about ali
we have got: don't think we'd part with them
now for another such show. would wef"
The following correspondence appears In this
weeks B'metdiltSt free-silver organ:
CONNER. Pa, aug. 24, 1885,
Hon William McKiniep, Canton. O.
DEAR SIR am nearly or the same age as
Twice haye baPn Of 'nCl q u's
boys IN blue ] have watched your course In
Congress and read all OF your speeches. | WAS
silver question while you were memb Der Of |
Congress. but do rot envy the Oval position
question. | am satisfied that you know well !
enough that TO open the mnts to the free coin
industries that have been prostrated bv unwise |
legislation TO the American Ia borer OF these !
United States. Very respectfully. ,,
P. 81 have always boen Republican.
CANTON. o., Aug. 90. 1906.
My DEAR SIR: Your letter Of the Gath inst. to |
Major Mckinley is received and contents are
am directed by Major Mckinley to inform
you that literature Will be- forwarded to you In |
JAS. l;oyLr, Private Secretary.
The wind TANNERS were gathered in the Re-
publican national headquarters waiting for
their next weeks assignments
" WHAT dye think Of that fellow that talked
WIN uS last Week Z! hhkeu one. uont tnlnk
he cun talk Mr. n little bit
"Oh, he's one of Gen. Clayton's mistakes"
said he second.
We'll" said third, that doesn't identity
him."
:" suppose not" Snd the fret, "but 1t puts
him in the majority all right"
"An-an- -an-an-an." said Sulzer. III I am
elected to Congress. as | ndouhtedly will be, 1t
is my ambition to serve on the Ways and Means
Committee
f-a-s." drawled a Tammany man, who WAS
listening, N II You don't get elected you GER
tainly won't be, you'll be on a Special Commit
tee on Subsistence"
The hall was crowded ard Spcllbnder Nor
row was pumping out the issues OF the cam
paign at the rate of a mile minute. Way
down on tho edge OF tho crowd there was a
drunken Individual who was shouting for Bryan
ana free silver. "Hooray for FREQ silver" he
would howl.
',l take IT, my friend" said Morrow finally.
" that YOU are "A silver man."
~ am that hOWled the man.
And IL seems to ome TINT you're pretty good
object lesson" said the spe!hiGder. Judging
from your condition the gold cure would you
more good than any thing else"