Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-02-22
TIE NORTH CAROLINA Way.
lHarh Drinker Turned Out to .'Gr@sas tuH
Sober Him Up.

lHapd Drinker Turned Out to Grass t0~
4 Sober Him Up.
i Ii was in a saloon the other p5gnO>
and Star reporter was drinkingaApol-
Iinaris and other soothing sirups .while-
the man across the table was INDUCING
in more tropical luxuries. Who was
paving for the irrigation was another
matter. to be determined by the turn
of q coin.
Were you ever in North. CaTclina2'
inquired the other man, as he hsheu
out q bit of orange rind or lemon peel
or some other sort of Misunderstanding
condiment from the bottom off his
glass.
Never" replied the reporter, Civ
ing q fine imitation of a. man telling
the truth without mental reservation.
Queer things grow in. that state,
continued the other man,.
Peanuts for instance pr
+-Yes, and tar and turpentine. Also
men who can drink a distillerX dry
and still attend to business. / know
several in that class, but the king bee
of them all is the richest of them ALL
he makes more money than no can pos
sibly drink up, and thesresult is that he
is away head of the deal. When he
gets to drinking, for. he takes, to 1t by
fits and starts, like toad a-walking.
he keeps right at it, until he has to go
to bed, and then he quits. He lives in
a small town where everybody Knows
him, and when he shows up drank his
family takes all his money away from
him and nobody in the place will let
him have liquor.
''Still, he gets, it some way, and he Is
very ingenious in that regard. The
slickest thing he ever did he did during
rhe past summer. AS his friends
thought the supply had been shut off,
and when they found him lying out in
the grass of his big dooryard one morn
| ing, they thought that was about as
good a place as, he could find to sober
up in, and they left him there. He APP
peared TO be quite contented himself,
and though he rolled over at intervals
and whooped every now and then, they
thought he was getting along all right
and didn't disturb, him.
by evening he was still not sobered
up, and he was left out of doors all
night, the weather being dry and hot.
Next morning he was still not sober,
and when evening came and the next
morning and he was still under the in
duence, one of his friends thought it
was time TO investigate. So he went
to a second-story window to watch the
man in the yard, and about all he could
discover was that the drinker would
lie with his face in the grass awhile,
apparently to cool it off, then roll over
and whoop once or twice to go to sleep
on his back. This was repeated two or
three times before noon, and by that
time the watcher began to smell
mouse and proceeded to investigate
more closely.
HE waited till the drinLer was asleep
again, and softly approaching he felt
around in the grass till his hand struck
something. 1t was only a bit of reed,
such as pipe stems are made of, but it
stuck up couple of inches through
the grass, and going down into the
ground on a line with the reed, the
searcher found it passing on through
} a cork into { two-gallon jug of whisky,
buried about six inches under the sur
, face. In n minute or two he lad un-
earthed the now nearly empty jug, and
) when Mr.. Drinker awoke again and
found that his nice little game had
been interfered with, it hurt his feel
lngs and pride so that he went to bed
and sobered up. He never said any
thing about it, nor did anyone else, but
; he hasn't worked the buried treasure
racket since"
Bring me glass of Potomac water,
with the mud on the side, please said
the reporter to the waiter, and won
dered how far it was to NORTH Caro-
lIna.-Washington Star.