The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-12-12
WOMEN ARE QUEER.
CHIMMlE FAOOEN DISCOVERS THE
FACT AT A HOUSE PARTY.

In de country again. cause Miss Fan
ME says dat little Miss ~Fannie-dat's
her little goil-hasn't room t. grow in
de city. Mr.. Paul says dere is a more
foist reason dan dat, cause if you stay
in de city you has t. go t. de opera t.
keep in de swim, and he amt stuck Oh
de swimmers.
II asked de duchess what tell he
meaned by dose langwudge, and de
duchess says dat Mr.. Paul didn't like
de kind of swimming suits de women
wears { de opera-dey is too much cut
OF at de wrong end.
"But dat don't mean noting needer,
for de duchess, being form, don't sport
de English langwudge like us Ameri-
n
"Anyhow, we is back to our ountry
place, aud of course Mr.. Paul is back
e. his place, what is only just next t.
ours. and dere amt nc fence between.
MI. Paul always chases hisself along
wherever we goes, SO as he'll be near
de bull pup, de duchess says.
"Well, being all back dere, of course
we had t RIG up some kind of a graft
t. keep de folks amused, cause when
folks has money T. melt dey always
keeps dereselfs busy looking for a fur
mace. Sure! Folks what has noting t.
do is de most hardest woiked mugs in
de void, which is why me, being Mr..
Burton's wallet, and de duchess, being
Miss Fannie's maid, has t. keep ourselfs
80 busy helping EN- do noting.
"But dat amt what I was goin t
tell you about. l was going t. cop You
right about de time we had down to
GU place on de sound de odder night.
"Mr. Paul, he comes & me and he
says, 'Chames, says he, 'Chames, If I
can prevail upon Mr.. Burton t. loan
me your services, he says. using dose
dude woids wot don't mean noting,
says he, I'D like t have you come over
t. my house and box wild me half hour
every morning, cause I'm afraid I'm
losing me first, and / need de exercise
"'Sure,' l says. In a minute, wild
joy, says ].
"'We'll see about de JOY when we
has on de gloves, says he. and he asks
MI. Burton for de loan Of me, and I
goes over t. Mr.. Paul's every morning.
"Say, honest, MI. Paul is de shiftiest
boxer / ever runs up against. He wants
it good, too, and one or de odder of us
has a eye or a nose t. mend most of de
time.
"De duchess don't kick, cause she
wins de tips Mr.. Paul gives me and
sinks 'em. Dat goil must have about
81, 900, 900, 900 now, sure.
"Say, I'm so dry I can't get around
t. tell you. What? Tanksl l don mind.
A high ball, please. Here's dat de long
green may grow like seaweed in your
inside pocket.
well, now I'll tell you: His wills.
kers asks Miss Fannie what was de .cat-
ter wild having a house party. / says t.
de duchess dat I'm good deal Of a house
party meself, but she said de kind Of a
house party his whiskers wanted was a
party of mugs and women t. stay at de
house tell dey all got so sore on each
odder dat no n would speak as dey
passed de rye. And we had it.
"Dere was de Wiley WILDLY l was
telling you Of before, de artis' mug
what painted Miss Fannie's picture wild
paint, and a lot of boys and COILS what
don't do noting for a living-but inst
g. live.
"Dere was one goil dere from de west,
what's a form country above de Harlem
furder den Westchester county, and
she'd never been to our house before, SO
didn't know / was a servant. I wished
dat she did. You see, / don't wear no
livery like de odder men help, but wears
Mr.. Burton 8 close when he don't wear
'em any more, and as I has t. fuss round
de house seeing dat everything is right
what Miss Fannie likes me t. do, cause
J. knows what she wants-dat goil from
de west must have taut l was a mug
what was a guest in de house.
Oats a little game de duchess is
pretty slick at playing herself, but I
never meant t. play tit Just kinder
happened sc.
Anyway, dis was de happen: 1t was
of dose warm nights we was having
lately, and / was kinder shocking around
lie veranda seeing was everything all
safe, when dat goil, who'd only come
dat day, braces up T. me and says. oh,
Mr.. Fadden, would you t'ink it dread.
full if l asked you t. take me somewhere
where ] can sneak "a smoke Of a ciga.
Iette?'
Say, l near fell i'll u fit, not tumbling
yet dat she taut l was one of de swell
mugs. l couldn't open me mout, and
she went on. kinder half laughing, and
says, says she, Pm dying for a smoke,
and I taut I'd t'row meself on your
lnercies, cause you look like a man
desc is her very woids-'like a man
what wouldn't tell.
"Say, honest! What tell! What
could II mug like me do up against a
game like dat? | says, Sure, lady, I'll
join you, says l.
81 w%ouldn't dared t. ask you, says
she. only dat I saw one of de ladies
smoking q cigarette wild me brudder.'
"Well, l vas in for it, and I took
her down de terrace behind de bat
house, and in a minute we was bote
putting t beat a fire engine.
"'Dis is what I call fun.' says she.
"'It's up t. de limit, / says, kinder
smuggling up t. her, so dat she wouldn't
take cold.
"Weil, say. we wasn't having de woist
lime dot ever happened, when all of q