Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1896-12-19
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twins. wheeler (cruSheU)-HeavenSs
hope bicycles will be cheaper next year. |
Puck.
"She's worth million. you know, and
they say he only married her for her
money" rs that nllY'-Philadelphia
North American.
"There's one great drawback to
nat" whats thatr' you have no
attic to put things you don't want In"
Chicago Record.
Madge--How proud Name Il since
she ordered her bicycle! Tom-Well,
you know. pride goes before fall
Yonkers Statesman.
The Tenor-Niiss Hysec. you are sim.
ply talking through your hat The So
prano-Alaybc I am. sir. but I don't
sing through my nosc.-ChlcagO Trfb-
tine.
As he paid the bill for the scaiskin
| sacpuc
The maidcn's father said with sigh:
''Thc summer girl IL very dear,
But the winter girl comes just as high"
Chicago Tribune.
Broker Ito his valct)--John, I have
lost lot Of money and have had to get
an inferior brand of cigars. Do you
intend to remain with me?-Flicgende
Blacttcr.
Mamma-Where's papa? FlOra-He's
down stairs. Mamma-What's he do.
ing? Flora-flis bicycle Is out Of breaff
and he's giving 1t some morc.-London
Figaro.
Rose Is wearing n chrysanthemum
that Is fully three weeks old" us she
50 ecOnomicalY' "NO; she wants the
rest Of us girls to think that some man
gave It to hcr."-ChicagO Record.
"Bntts Is quite a Bohemian in his
ways. isn't hep Bats? No. Never.
He got hold Of a Gvc-dollar bill Inst
week, and what do you think he dld7
Went and bought a meal tickct."-In.
dlanapoiis Journal.
Mrs. Chippcrlng-So these are your
children, are they? Mrs. Marrow--Yes,
md everybody says they are Just the
Image Of mo. Mrs. Chippcrlng--Why.
80 they are. poor little disqualification
Traveller.
"IInve You ever called upon Miss
Point Brcczey" asked Dinwitidie Of Van
Brnan. Only once" "Ilcr father IL a
fOrc-handcd man, I understand" Eyes,
fore.foOtetl. o."--Pittsburg Chronicle.
Telegraph.
"l'm afraid thnt 1I.year.oid girl OF
Thompson's Ii a little lacking In must.
cal education" "Why" II asked her
what she thought Of comic opera. and
she said II was just grand" -Indian.
ap0lis Journal.
Tho COunt-"My dear Mees Goldollar
I waiE yOu to marry me-" Heircss-
: "Oh. Count! I am spcechlcss with sur
: PRISE" The COunt-"Zat II all right
. your money talk."-Ncw York Com
mercial Advertiser.
With tears In his deep brown eyes HI
pleaded earnestly for little more time
But the Ainty.heartcd landlord 70
manned unmOved. Consequently. thu
tenant didn't remain In thaS condition
. Cincinnati Enquirer.
DR.. Blunt-"Wc must wnkc her. be
cause ] want to ask her II she hai
obcycd my orders" The Patients Hus
MISREPRESENTATION. II might he a,
well tO--ah-put that question In {
, somewhat different form."--Puck.
"Thcrc doesn't seem TO he 30 much O.
n demand for the elevati on Of the stag
a now M formerly: do you think SOP
!. no: but you know That's because wa
!. men are giving up wearing high hat
| a. fn,., ~ Do h,,w IN
"Can You tell me who lives In tina
4 big house up there on the hill?" "Ul
!. there In that white mansion? Mr.
O Black" HE must be very wealthy.
;. ayes; richest man In town." "Wha
4 Is his busincss!" "iIe runs the bl
cycle repair shop."-Cieveland Leader
Happened to see your wife on
20 wheel yesterday. II remember.
y heard you declare you would never al
low her to ride" "Yes. ! know. Blu
:. she had a chance to trade or her pu
b dog for u wheel. ana thought ! wOul
q choose tho least evil."-IndianapOll
ID Journal.
y Literary Asp!rant-"It must be I'm
.. to be an editor and have an OppOrtunit
I 10 print III ttut you WAN w o"y' Hs
= perienced Newspaper Man-"I.Ori bles
you. boy! printed all wanted to 81
In the first three weeks. Ever sine
then I've been filling spncc."-SOme
villc Journal.
Come, old man." said the kin
friend, cheer Up. There are others
Il don't mind her breaking the engag
ment SO very much" said the despol
dent young man; but to think that
have got to go on paying tho install
ments on the ring for u year to con
yet. That Is what Jars me."-indlal
apolis Journal.
Assistant ito house physician)-"W
have Just received an aeronaut who IL
1000 feet. AMI a football player WI
got tangled up In rush. lam the on
4 doctor who Is not engaged. Whit
\ shall ! attend to first?" House Ph
] stefan dmpaticntly)-"I have often to
ic. sou that In u case like this you shOu
ire first attend the man who IL most Sol
ct. Ously injured. Look after the fOotb'
by pia scr, of course. The balloon man CT
les wait."-I.lfe,
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on ScOw,tnG.