The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1896-09-05
nUMOR OF THE DAY.

nO.AVn VI AIM "a
81 love you unspeakably. Molly"
"But perhaps You might speak to
mamma. "-Flegende Blaetter.
Teacher-"What is an island?"
Little Johnny Squanch--"A body OF
land almost entirely occupied by in.
surgents. PUCK.
Teacher-"Can yoa give me any
idea of what q hollow mockery is?"
IPupil-"Yessum; our ice-chest in wine
ter is."-Roxbury Gazette.
Once more these sad conditions come
To grieve the country and the town;
The mercury now runneth up;
The Precipitation runneth down.
Washington Star.
Very Amateur Singer Cat evening
party)-"Let me like soldier fall r.
Agonized Guest--"Tou certainly
should if had gun anywhere handy"
Standard.
Depth Of Woe: "Did George look.
anxious when he proposed to you,
Kitty?" eyes; he looked as If he
were learning to ride wheel. Chi
cago Record.
Snobson-sI feel dweadfully. /
gave an ct home yesterday and only
ten people came" Quiz-'Why don't
yon give . funeral? You'd have it
crowded. Truth.
Attorney-aWhat was there Shout
the deceased that led you to believe he
was Of unsound mind?" Witness
"Well, for one thing, he abhorred
bicycles. "-Philadelphia North Ameri.
can.
Teacher-"Now, Freddie, since you
have correctly spelled Philadelphia.
can you ten me what State it is in?"
Freddie-"Y sir. heard pa say
the other day that it was in a state OF
coma"
Hicks-'I saw yonr poem in the
paper last week. How did you get
your pull with the editor?y Wicks--
s'Oh, I didn't bother the editor, I
called upon the business manager
Somerville Journal.
"Now, johnny, do you understand
thoroughly why I am going to whip
your" "Yes'm. You're in bad
humor this morning, an you've got to
lick some one before you'll feel satis-
fed" Harlem Life.
Margaret-''Don't you think Maude
loved Charliew Ethel-"No, dear
it is my firm belief that she only mar
ried him for his beautiful collection
of striped outing shirts. "-Philadel-
phia North American.
He-"Which did you like best of my
versess" She--"Why, the one on the
fret page" He-"Let me see. Which
one was thatg" She-t'Don't you re.
members The one in quotation
marks. Harlem Life.
"You do not 60 ont often to dinner,
Mrs. Waddington?" mo, ! don't
think the best dinner on earth is suffi.
cient compensation for making ones
self agreeable for three hours at
stretch. "-Chicago Record.
Daughter-''This piano is really my
very own. isn't it, pspas" Pa-"Yes.
my DEAR" vAnd when marry ] can
take it with me, can II" Certainly,
my child; but don't tell any one. It
might spoil your chances. "-Tit-Bits.
Ferry-"Vhy don't You get mar
ried? Don't say You cant stand the
expense. That excuse is too thin. ;"
Harereaves-sT could stand the ex.
pense we'll enough, hut the girls father
says he CAM" Cincinnati Enquirer.
Miss Bellefeld-"D you like Mr..
Van Braam, Nellie?" Miss Bloomfield
(who is addicted to slang)-"Yes, /
like him don't think" Miss Belle
field-"That is the great trouble with
you, Nellie. You should cultivate
habit Of thought. "-Pittsburg Chron-
icle.
"What do you think of my work
with the cAmera?" asked the young
man, who is an enthusiastic amateur
photographer. "It's splendid IN its
way" replied the girl who means we'll.
'It's better than any of the PROBES,
sional caricaturists can do. Wash.
ington Star.
A Continuous Performance 'sYou
remember when / proposed to youY
said the young husband. II believe
l do recollect something Of the sort"
answered the young wife. "And you
told me / would have to see your
mother" "Yes." 81 must have mis-
understood you. I never dreamed
that it was the programme that I
should see your mother every day ]
came home. Indianapolis Journal.
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