davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22
Evolution of Laughter.

Just as the hoof of the horse is the rem
nant of an original FIVE toes; just as the
pineal gland in man is now said to be the
survival of a prehistoric eye on the top of
the head, so perhaps this levity in regard
to particular ailments Tin others) may be
the descendant of an aboriginal ferooity in
man.
1t is well-known theory that what we
call humor arose from the same source;
that the first human laugh that ever woke
the astonished echoes of gloomy primeval
forests was not an expression of mirth, but
exultatjon over the misery of tortured
enemy.
There is to this day something terrible
in laughter. The laugh of madness or Of
cruelty is sound more awful than that Of
the bitterest lamentations.
By means of the strange phonograph
that we call literature we can listen even
now to the laughter of the dead; to the
hearty outlaws or cynical titterings of
generation after generation of bygone men
and women; and if we are curious in such
matters we can probe into the nature of
the changes that have passed over the
fashion of mems humor.
For it has been said, not without the
support of weiehty cumulative evidence,
that as We penetrate further into the past
we find the sense of humor depending al
ways more obviously and solely upon the
enjoy ment of the pain. misfortune, morti-
fication or EN- barrassment of others. TIE
sense of superiority was the sense of
humor in our ancestors; or, in other
words, va nifty lay ct the root OF this, as of
most other attributes OF our bumprous
species.
Putting ear to our phonograph, we catch
the echoes of strange and merry tumult;
boisterous, cruel. often brutal, yet with
here and there tender cadence from some
solitary voice; and presently this lonely
note grows stronger and sweeter as we
travel slowly toward our own time, until
at length, through all the merriment, we
can hear the soft under murmur of pity.
Does the picture not seize the imagina-
tion-the long laughter of the ages which
begins in cruelty and ends in love West
minister Review.
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

A lover of fine natural scenery will be
more than satisfied on viewing the views
that abound in Mendocino. The famous
Russian River rises in this county, the
father of a hundred trout-abounding
streams. At food time the immense vol
ume of the stream flowing through mar
row channel is scene that fills the be-
holder with awe. A great future is await
ing Mendocino County. With the build
ing of railroads population that is only
awaiting easier transportation will be sure
to crowd its fertile valleys and develop it's
rich stores of minerals. Until then the
county will continue to be a resort for
those whose love for nature finds recon-
pense in the views and scenes OF this
richly favored region.
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

sands of acres OF the redwood forests of
Mendocino County, and the same reason
explains the comparative absence of that
rapid development which distinguishes
some other counties of the State.
Much OF the county remains in the ex-
act state of nature in which it was created,
and therefore its popularity as a resort for
the fisherman and hunter is easily ex-
planned. There is no game, large or small,
known to California that does not abound
in the mountains OF Mendocino, and il is
one of the pleasures of life, that fingers
longest in the memory, visit to the hos
pitable camp of some hunter. who has left
all the world behind to enjoy the manly
sports that q Mendocino County forest
affords.
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

surface for the condition of the current
The surface is too small both in the bear
ings of the wheels and at the surface of
contact between the wheels and the con-
ductor. The local conductors themselves
are of steel so as to have more wearing
surface aDd cost less than copper.
There will be no difficulty in collecting
all the current with slid ing contact for
a speed of over 100 miles an hour. While, ~
continued Mr.. Burns, ~ may say that
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

nails are in places only mile apart, while
with the new electric marvel it will re-
quire clearway of one and half miles
to stop the express. There must be no
grade crossings. The track must be ele-
vated.
In speaking of the speed features of the
great locomotive, Mr.. Burns said: ''Tne
collectors are of the sliding contact type
as the rolling contact is uncertain at high
speeds and gives too little area or bearing
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

In their infancy. the greater number of
problems connected with such services are
pretty definitely settled. Those that re-
main are receiving daily attention, and
when railroad companies build safe and
suitable road bed the locomotives and the
power to drive them is ready for imme-
diate application without the risk of losses
from experiments and uncertain construc-
tion."
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

The licorice plant is chiefly grown on
the banks of the Tigris and Euphrates, in
localities where for three months, during
the prevalence of hot winds, the tempera-
ture reaches 104 degrees, and for three
months often registers 80 degrees below at
night.
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

that of Professor Davidson it may be be-
lieved that the storied San Carlos finally
laid her bones to rest on the shores of the
noble sheet of inland sea she first sailed
over. Jason's classical craft, after her
memorable voyage in search of the
The San Francisco call., 1896-11-22

San Francisco Bay. AS no other vessel
was sunk in this vicinity before Vallejo
saw the wreck, we may safely conclude
that it was the remains of the San Carlos
which were pointed out to him."
Hence from such eminent authority as
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

We know 1t will pump water-that val
clearly shown In my experiment near
Los Angeles. II we cannot secure sufIi-
Client power to generate electricity d.
rectly from the turning Of the fy-wheel
we will pump water into reservoir.
and from this secure water power.
III this motor operates as I conf
IDENTIFY expect It will. the immediate
construction of an immense plant will
be commenced at San Francisco. 1t
will cost $4,000 900. Yes, lot of money,
but It's all ready and awaiting the sue
cessful working OF this plant. The
company which furnished the $2O.Ooo
we are expanding here is ready to put
up $5,000,000 for the San Francisco
plant, and the money will come back
in year. Why. the fuel used in San
Francisco in one year costs $4,000, 900.
We can supply all the power and heat
that is now used and at small cost
Mr.. Gerlach said that probably with
in week the wave motor would be in
operation, and that it would then re-
quire but short time to fully demon
strate the possibilities of the invention
San Francisco Chronicle.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

daintily sIirpered ones of his COM
psniOo: and It mattered not to this
young pair of six and ten that she dwelt
In tho lap of luxury while he was the
SON of poverty.
The days went by. He went to sea,
and dwelt in foreign lands for MANY
years. There fortune smiled upon him.
and poured her rich gifts at his feet.
In the meantime his little playmate had
grown to womanhood, and her fathers
riches had taken wings and flown away.
They meet again. They talk of the
golden summer days of yore, when they
played together and the seesaw went up
and down. They have changed places
since then. She, smiling. says:
You see that the other end Of the
seesaw is up now
Says he, with loves pleading in his
eyes, I'm tired of seesawing."
She understands and answers, $50
am t.
well. darling, let us stop it just as
We did OF old"
So close together they keep. and the
seesaw is acknowledgements Maya
zine.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
Drawing n Line.

A young Virginian in frocks had been
scolded by his grandmother for taking
preserves from the dining-room closet
without permission. The old lady,
with much impressiveness of tone, told
the little fellow that it was wicked to
take things without asking for them,
and that. although he might have
thought there was nobody near him
when he took the preserves, God was
really watching him and keeping an
account Of his actions. The boy looked
solemn and made no comment on the
lecture. Later his mother saw him
standing near the back porch in an at
titude denOting meditation. The house.
hold dog, big Newfoundland, was
rOmping near him. He was not in
a mood to play, and walked away from
the dog, which followed him. He
turned, shook chubby finger at the
dog. and exclaimed:
Go way, Jack. It's bad 'nough to
have bod follerin' me arOun', let alone
YOU"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
A Submarine Torpedo Boat.

Prof. Louis Gathman, the scientist.
has perfected torpedo which, he
says, will revolutionize modern war;
fare and do about everything but climb
tree. His torpedo, in external ap-
pearance. greatly resembles those in
use by the nations today, but the in
ternal arrangements are radically Diff
ferent. Gun cotton or dynamite may
be used in the explosion chamber at
the forward end, and a slight pressure
upon a pin projecting from the point
of the torpedo makes the discharge.
The rear end Is filed with chemical.
the nature of which Prof. Gathman will
not divulge, which will propel the pro-
jectile through the water as a sky
rocket through the air. This torpedo
has been found available at distance
OF two miles. and will travel in an
absolute straight line unless diverted
by currents, while those in use today
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
A Parrot Yarn.

A man whose niece had coaxed him to
buy her a parrot succeeded in getting
a bird that was warranted good
talker. He brought it home, and after
putting it in cage stood before it and
said. Say uncle, Polly" The bird did
not respond, and after repeating the
sentence a dozen times or more with no
better success the uncle put his hand
into the cage, and grabbing the bird by
the neck. shook him until his head wab-
bled around, all the time yelling to him,
"Say uncle. COLL darn you, say uncle!'
The bird looked limp and lifeless, and.
disguised with his purchase, the old
fellow took the parrot out into the yard,
where he has a coop of thirty chickens.
Ttrusting the half-dead bird in with the
chickens, he exclaimed, There, by
gosh! you'll say uncle before you get
outr'
Next morning the uncle went to sec
how the parrot was getting N. Look
ing into the coop he counted twenty
nine dead chickens, and in the center
of the coop stood HE parrot on one foot.
holding the thirtieth chicken by the
neck and shaking it till its head wab-
bled, and screaming. "Say uncle. goil
darn you, say uncle!"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

are only available up to forty or fifty
fathoms. When the propelling power
is exhausted water is admitted, and the
torpedo sinks to the bottom out Of the
way of friendly shipping.
PROF.. Gathman has a special torpedo
boat for use with his projectiles, a
model of which is in his studio. 1t is
cigar shaped, with two oval turrets on
top, the lower and larger one contain
tanning the cabins and pilot house, and
the upper one serving merely to pro-
tect the smoke stacks and air tubes.
Projecting from the top of this turret
and in front of the tubes for ventilation
is a smaller tube containing tele-
scope and prism, which operates like a
camera obscura, and throws on a
screen above the helmsman whatever
is taking place in front of the boat. By
an ingenious arrangement connected
with the telescope. torpedoes can be ac-
curately directed toward any point.
This boat will be 120 feet long, Is
feet beam and will contain engines OF
LOW sc pOWOl Oh6hSiJ PAOJSNe
ing from the pointed end Of the boat
is a twenty-five ton torpedo gun. At
the rear end Is the propeller, and on
the top and bottom Of the boat direct
" forward of the propeller are two
fans to be used in steering. 1t Is In
tended that the boat shall be SUBJ
merged up to the turrets at all times,
but by the movement Of sirSle lever
all external openings are closed and
the boat can sink below the surface.
Two fans on each side similar to tha
rudders facilitate this. Prof. Gath
man estimates that it will be possible
to 20 at least two miles under the sur
face Of the water before new supply
of air is necessary, and the telescope
arrangement can be shot upward for
steering purposes.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
Five Dollars for a Dime.

This is no Louisiana lottery scheme.
neither is it a dime in the slot affair.
In 1894 twenty-four 10-cent pieces were
coined at the San Francisco mint no.
very many, but one might stray your
way. II it should. coin collector will
nay S. for it, and the price is liable to
rise. Keep your eye on the dimes
which pass through your hands. and
when you see ore dated 1894 and
marked with an ''S'' hang onto it-s0me
day it will command still higher pre-
MUM.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

A BOstonian of mark has lately dis
tinguished himself greatly. and letters
and kilograms of congratulation have
been pouring in upon him from various
parts of the world. These have been
the subject of conversation at the
breakfast table. and the Bostonian' s
little daughter has heard of them. The
other day she said to her mother, with
a pathetic air of concern, Mamma, do
you suppose all those people would
think so much of papa il they knew
that he sometimes puts his elbows on
the table,"
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
Deafness Can Not BE Cured


BY local applications. as they cannot
reach the diseased portion of the ear.
There is only one way to cure deafness,
and that is by constitutional remedies.
Deafness is caused by an inflamed con-
dition of the mucous lining Of the Eus-
tachian Tube. When the tube Is In
famed you have a rumbIing sound or
imperfect hearing. and when 1t is en-
tirely closed Deafness is the result. and
unless the Inflammation can be taken
out and this ttbe restored 10 its normal
condition. hearing will be destroyed for
ever; nine cases out of ten are caused
by Catarrh, which is nothing but an in
famed condition of the mucous sur
faces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness (caused by Ca
tarrh) that cannJt BE- cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars. free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. O.
Sold by druggists: 75c.
Halls Family Pills. 25c.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
Boys Should Learn.

Boys Should Learn.
To help the boy smaller than them
selves.
To speak pleasantly to an old woman.
To put every garment in its proper
place.
To remove their hats on entering a
house.
Not to tease boys smaller than them
selves.
To keep their finger nails from wear
ing mourning.
To be as kind and helpful to their
sisters as to other boys sisters.
To close the door quietly, especially
when there is a sick person in the
house.
To take pride in having their mother
and sisters for their best friends.
To treat their mother as politely as II
she were strange lady who did not
spend her life in their service.
If they do anything. to take their
mother into their confidence, and. above
all, never to lie about anything they
have done.
When their play is over for the day,
to wash their faces and hands, brush
their hair, and spend the evening in the
house.
Not to take the easiest chair in the
room and put it directly in front of the
fire, and forget to offer it to their moth
er when she comes in to sit down.
To make up their minds not to learn
to smoke, chew, or drink, remember
ing that these things are not easily un-
learned, and they are terrible draw
backs to good men.
Not to grumble or refuse when asked
to do some errand which must be done
and which would otherwise take the
time of some one who has more to do
than themselves.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
Bachelor Ignorance About Children.

Ignorance ~
Bachelors who have lived long alone
or in hotels and clubs acquire strange
ignorance about children. One of these
was telling a friend how his little
nephew enjoyed The Jungle Book"
How old is he?" was asked.
'Oh, don't know. Seven or s,
maybe TO-"
Then he can read the stories him
self"
LET me see. No, he can't. He's too
young. He has the book read to him. y
Then he must be less than 10 years
old"
he said, reflectively. My brother hasn't
been married nearly so long as that.
don't believe it's more than six years
No, the boy can't be over or 5.
think he's just T."
Cant you tell his age by looking a,
him." asked his friend.
why, no." answered the uncle, hope.
lessly. "All children look the same age
to me except infants. and those that
are about ready for college"
1t was another bachelor who was Wis
iting friends. when caller came with
his young son. The boy was or 5 years
old. and manly little chap. The bach.
! elor was attracted by his appearance
and, patting his cheek, said to the ia.
! Their:
Hes sturdy boy, isn't he? Hell
be ready to go out and play ball in q
| few years.
Il can play ball already" spoke ur
the child, proudly.
why, he can talk. can't he?" ex
claimed the. astonished bachelor. &c
didn't know children could talk at hi.
age"
The company would have doubted tn,
sincerity of his ignorance had he no
been too evidently in earnest.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

Out at the end of the long wharf at
iCapitOla, Cal. a mild hammered Ger
man is at work, trying to perfect an
Invention, which. If successful, will rev.
.olutionize the motive power Of the
world that is, it will introduce to all
parts Of the country bordering on a
sea coast a cheap and powerful motive
power, which can turn the wheels Of
factories and generate electricity which
will furnish light and heat. This is
the German inventors dream, and he
has so far succeeded in convincing cap
.ital of the feasibility Of his project to
harness the waves that he secured $20.-
900 from San Francisco parties with
which to construct the plant, which is
now being put into operation at the
end of the wharf far out into the Mon
terey bay.
The wave motor is apparently very
simple cOntrivance There are two
wave motors, each having three pad
dies. Mr.. Gerlach explained that In
used paddle wheel, but he found that
only three OF the paddles touched the
water, so he now uses only that num-
,ber The two motors are dropped in
the water, and the waves move them
back and forth. To each motor is at
,tached a cable connecting with the fly
wheel, and this wheel goes in onedi-
.rection, no matter which way the mo-
tors hanging in the water are moved
by the action Of the waves. At least
that is the result which is confidently
expected by the inventor. who asserts
that failure is next to impossible-that
as long as the waves come and 60 the
motor will turn.
. This is the nearest thing to perpet-
ual motion the world will ever know"
said Mr.. Gerlach, in explaining the
expected operation Of his invention.
mo. 1 do not think there is any chance
of failure" he continued. This has
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

Up and down went a see-saw-a dark
eyed boy In one end, and on the other
q wee slip of q girl with laughing blue
eyes and yellow curls waving in the
breeze. They have played together all
the summer days, and many happy
hours have they spent at the see-saw.
''Td rather 60 up than down." said
the girl.
so would l." the boy answered.
Il wish we could both 90 up 1t once. /"
But We can't"
81 know It"
I'm tired Of see-saWing." said she.
$50 am l." he answered. Thea he
sturdily held the board Arm and
straight. while abe tripped lightly q
The stoae vall across which It was lal1.
1heso th60 could 1T eloss tegs4hss. ~
to1o tRoNn 1T lnne1ing doWA an1116
- llle1 = lgealy ee1t1pee = y
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

Mrs. Shopleigh-Is it any trouble, to
you to show goods? MIR. Cashcall-No,
ma'am. But it's good deal of troub-
lie to sell them, sometimes.-New York
Herald.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
Insects Committing Suicide.

1t is stated that insects have been
known deliberately to kill themselves
under certain forms Of torture or pro-
vocation. Experiments have been tried
upon wasps. which are extremely sensi-
tive to benzine and dislike the odor very
much. A tumbler was sprinkled with
benzine. then inverted over a wasp.
which at once attacked a bit Of paper
that was under the glass. Finally the
wasp appeared to become desperate. He
threw himself on his back. bent him
self together and drove his sting three
times into his body. then he died. Re-
peated trials convinced the scientists
that wasps would. under these circum-
stances, take their own lives, as several
Of them got out OF their uncomfortable
atmosphere in this way.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

Elsie-My dearest Stella. / haven't
seen You for four months. flow ia
your Charles? Stella Oh, my Charles
has changed very much since then.
His name is now Robert-Puck.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

Portland. Maine. has a new wrinkle.
A big mastiff has been killing other
dogs in that city. and he was arrested
and taken to the lookup, where his fate
was discussed. 1t was finally decided
to send him the same way with muir
dering cutthroats in human form, and
consequently he was sent down to
Thomaston to spend the rest of his days
at the state prison.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

The New York State Medical SOcie-
ty has disapproved of the present
narcotic instruction law in the public
schools. The teachers are also unan-
imOusly opposed to it
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

Rv the kidneys. impurities pass Off harm
leSSly. The inactivity o. the organs named
not only cause these impurities to remain
and poison the system. but also leads "a
the degeneration and destruction ct the
organs themselves. Prevent Brights dis
ease. dia be,es. dTopSy. gravel and Othec
ailments which affect the kidneys and
bladder with Hostetter Stomach Bitters.
which likewise oyercOmes maiarial. dys-
reptic. bilious. nervous and rheumatic
complaints.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

1t is 10xl5xS inches and will take care
of twenty-eight eggs. 1t is an incu-
bator and costs only $500.
This wooden hen is made by George
II. Stahl. Quincy, Ill. If You want to
find out more about it before you buy
one write to Mr.. Stahl for catalogue
W." which gives full description, and
mention this paper.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
The seamless tube finds favor.
Jerusalem is exporting oranges.

Observation-Disclosures an old
score to settle with You. Ferguson
(blithely)-I know you have. That
twenty you have owed me SO long.
New York Herald.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

For some weeks past an Indianapo-
lis bicycle company has been working
its men IA hours. Last week the COM
pany put on a day and night force.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27

Bowler was just remark
ing to me that all he is he owes to his
mother. GaZby-Yes: and l under
stand that all hehas he owes to his
father.-ROXberry.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-02-27
THE WAVE MOTOR LOOKING
TOWARD THE SEA.

HE WAVE MOXOh LOOhlNG
TOWARD THE SEA.
all been carefully and correctly figured
out. I know just how much force Is
possessed by the waves In water Of
this depth. I have calculated the re-
distance offered BY the weight Of the
motors. and they have been construct
cd accordingly. We will have SUFFICIENT
force to turn that fly-wheel. at the
very least. twenty-five times minute.
Any machinist can estimate what that
viii accomplish. Tor It viii 60 on for
ever.
..The immediate use We will put this
motor to will be In supplying power to
santa Cruz electric car lines. and
furnishing light and fuel. But this q
nonskructed merely to demcastrats bat
- oooration q the ware 0otor u feas-
90. We dont care w1at eth0 ~
go - ~ freul -