Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-03-18
UNFINISHED DEBATE.

UNFINISHED DEBATE
THE QUESTION OF HAMLET'S iNSAN
ITY UNSETTLED IN HAWvILLE.
At tho Debating Societys Meeting . Ques
tion of Ethics Was Raised by Dr.. Potter
Who Thought He Was Being Unfairl,
Treated by the Commercial Club.
The Spread Eagle theater was vel
filled with the beauty and chivalry O.
the settlement at the last session of thu
Hawville Debating society, upon which
occasion the subject for discussion was
Resolved, That the Melancholy DANE
Was Mad,' and bright the lamps, which
had been kindly loaned for the evening
by the genial and urbane proprietor Of
the Dew Drop Inn and Blazing Rae
Refreshment Parlors, shone o'er fail
women and brave men, as the poet once
got off.
For some time all went merry as q
marriage bell, as what's his name used
to say. There was no shooting, except
in single and amply justified instance.
when the harmonious flow Of the debate
was interrupted by Polecat Pete, an un-
currled parsonage, who. being filed
with strong waters, arose and vocifer-
ously announced that he was a wolf
Thereupon Alkai Ike, who had been
delegated to preserve the peace, very
appropriately remarked that, inasmuch
as Peter was wolf, the time was at
hand for him to howl, at the same time
shooting him in the hind leg with a
deftness born of long practice. A little
later the wolf had been cast into outer
darkness and the debate went on.
During the course of the evening the
widow of Rawhide Jim begged the in
diligence Of the meeting, and when it
had been granted her rose in her place
and tearfully thanked all of those pres
ent who had SO kindly assisted in the
killing Of her lamented husband.
The debate was resumed at the close
of the widows remarks and was pro-
crossing smoothly toward a harmonious
consummation when DR.. Potter, the
we'll known undertaken, arose and be-
gan:
II don't know and I don't care
whether Hamlet was mad or not, but
rise to remark that I am mad, and the
more I think about the cause I have the
madder I git! Hawville possesses a
Commercial club, which is supposed to
be working for the upbuilding of the
various business enterprises in the set
tlement and to be keeping vigilant
and we'll skinned eye ON the interest of
its members, one of whom now stands
before you. Foster home industry is
its shibboleth, so to speak, and I'd like
to ask in tones of thunder why it don't
live up to them words? have follered
out that principle in my dealings with
my feller men, and,whur am I at in
consequence"
men. even at times to his own detri-
ment and Inconvenience, the doctor
continued. He believed in reciprocity,
and having fostered others desired to
be fostered in turn. "Live and let live"
had always been his business motto,
and he had faithfully endeavored to
abide by it, and darned little good 1t
had done him, according to his own
statement. He desired to know why the
Commercial club had done nothing to
advance his business interests, why
members of the community who claimed
his patronage were SO loath and sloth-
full about patronizing him. /
There was entirely too much jug han
die business, with the handle continu-
ally in the other fellows grasp, in the |
way things had been going on during |
the past several months, and as for him |
he was sick and tired of the way in !
which the cards were running and
earnestly desired new deal. |
"Only three funerals in the last 20
days!" he declared bitterly, "and one
of them fizzle, in which the customer
proved to be in cataleptic state, and
revived and ran away after had gone
to right smart Of expense on his special
account, and the others two measly
paupers that hadn't dollar in their
clothes nor friend on earth r.
The speaker continued by calling at
tention to the fact that there had not
been lynching in the last six weeks,
nor a fight worth speaking Of in two
months. 1t began to look, he declared,
as if his fellow citizens were in dellb-
crate conspiracy against him, and only
shot. when they shot at all, such per-
SONS as were financially unable to pay
for decent funerals. He concluded by
light on the subject for the
and new deal and fair shake
for the future, after which he paused
for reply.
"Waal," ;" remarked Alkali Ike, rather
after DR.. Potter had sub
sided, 81 am yere to say, and I reckon
vice the sentymunts of every gentleman
within the sound Of my voice when l
say it, that if this yere enterprisln man
planter expects his feller citizens to
stop, after pullin their guns, an consld-
er whether or not the gent they aim to
git is rich enough to pay for the pomp
an parryferneelyer of dudes obsequies,
1e is doomed to disappointment a great
plenty! I am willin to foster him an
lis industry to reasonable extent, but
f he expects me to request my prey to
,lease wait for me around the corner
while go up an nose through the tax
looks to see whur he is at the doctor is
.skin heap too much. Bein man Of
he world an middlin wide betwixt the
yes, have always done my shootln
irst an my inquirin later, an Iexpect to
10 continner to the end. I have spoken"
The question Of ethics thus raised
,recipitated spirited wrangle, which
continued till the meeting finally broke
.p in great disorder, without having
ettled the mental status of the unhappy i
Prince of Denmark, and it will proba-
'ly never be definitely known whether
r not Hamlet was mad.-Tom P. Nor
AN in Brooklyn Eagle. l.
D. L. Moody, the evangelist, told a
tory in Philadelphia the other day
bout his life before his conversion,
7hen boy of II. He said that while he
vas pretty bad boy in his unregener-
to days, deep in the follies and errors