The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1896-02-19
GETTING AFTER THE OLD
WOMAN.
Chicago Times-Herald:


what they call Jarsey, the Old Woman
has reappeared, and the Tyrant Man
is pursuing her; pursuing her even to
the furthest recess of an aged statute
which, because Man has continued to
make the laws of New Jersey, remains
on the books.
Esther P. Jacques is the defendant
in the case. The complainant is G. f.
Conant, a whilom committeeman of
the town. Conant dwells next door to
Miss Esther, and Iafter various efforts
to induce that person, who is only 30
years old. not Unlocking, and presi-
dent of the local Women's Christian
Temperance Union, to cease scolding,
he up to the grand jury and at Oyer
and Terminer had the same indicted
as Common Scold.
According to the Sun, Miss Jacques
possesses powers which ought to be
put to use somewhere. Her voice is
described as more penetrating than a
calliope, and as for endurance, Meth.
er eating nor sleeping nor exc church
going, tract distribution nor temper
ance has induced her to give it rest.
Before the chicks were up was Miss
Esther; after the fowls wer to bed, up
was Miss Esther. Locomotives were
not heard when she felt eloquent nor
chanticleer when she chose to make
observations. Fog horns off on the
distant bay were muted in the echoes
of her reverberating vocables, and the
meek cow of the numerous adjacent
pastures turned pail and fled incon-
tinently when the Old Woman pro-
ceeded to address the neighborhOOd
and the adjacent islands.
When Complainant Conant wearied
of prayer and protest delivered by
mail and in person. he held to the
Justice. who, after hearing evidence
divers and collective, thus declared
himself: 1.-The manner of the delivery
of Miss Esther's ideas was menace
to the public peace"
Thereupon the twenty. three Tyr
ants drew up true bill, and Miss
Esther said not ult, which is what the
queens writes when she approves a
new law, but with this difference that
Miss Esther pleaded by proxy in good
Latin, but the queen employs the
mongrel Norman Latin-F French of the
cOnQuerOr'S time.
This leaves Miss Esther to her
natural foe. Man; and this is what he
said of her voice:
That when it got started at night
sleep fled the precincts for blocks
around;
That real estate had deprecated in
value in direct ratio to the growth of
that voices strength;
That Woc ho rnoct tho NOM
ing, loudeSt at noon, and most far
reaching by night;
That the vacant house next door to
the Jacqueses was unrentable because
OF it.
That it broke the eight-hour law;
That it broke the peace;
That it broke the record, and
That the neighborhoo would have to
move il the voice didn't.
While the trial jury is out, it may be
said that in addition to being too
voluminous with her organs of speech,
Miss Esther Jacques was sadly lacking
in cOntemporaneOus,' cuteness." Why
did she remain an Old Woman and
just vociferously berate, thus inviting
the Tyrant Man to hunt up the law
about ducking stools and the town
pump? Why did she not cease to be
Old and become a New Woman?
Then she could have gone all over
the country delivering her remarks at
a per capita, and she could also have
reduced them to writing and flung
them broadcast where neither statute
nor sheriff nor justice nor ducking
stool would apply. Why did net
Esther join wOman's club? There
are old laws to hurl at the Old
Woman, but mans ingenuity has not
devised any method for putting the
New Woman down. Yet it does not
appear that Miss Esther was inatten-
tive to her domestic cares or wanted
to vote. This ought to count in miti-
ga tiOn.