The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-13
GOSSIP OF THE TOWN


MS time II VIII not De III the LdnQS
Of such men as engineered the Ante
lope Island scheme. but will be handled
by that celebrated organization known
TO fame as the Blue Church." and
under the immediate supervision of
lodge No. 999. The following was is
sued from headquarters at 1901 this
morning, after ii had been the subject
OF much consideration and thought:
Headquarters Lodge Room Blue
Church. Lodge 999.-WheIeas. certain
we'll known members of the Glue
Church having, without the permission
of our church, gone over 10 Antelope
Island and slain d buffalo;
And whereas, the said buffalo. Ma
Jor Mckinley was a member of the
Suicide club of our order and nobody
had right to interfere in his taking
off save himself; and said taking OFF
should have been decided upon by a
vote OF the members of the said Suicide
club of the said Blue Church: and,
Whereas, the proceedings COM
planned of were entirely and thoroughly
irregular, and without our consent;
therefore, be it
Resolved. in order that we may keep
our reputation unsullied before the
world that We repudiate the action of
Mr. Martin Lannan and others, and
they are hereby informed without fur
Their ceremony. that they are sus-
pended from all the benefits of our or
ganization for SO years, and that in
order that we may attain the standing
occupied by us before our brethren
went astraY and slaughtered Major
Mckinley we have arranged for
hunt that will meet the approval of all
or our members who are interested in
true sport, and who do not take the
nf mi,
said animal a chance for his white
ally. The members of the sportsman's
rank, Blue Church, lodge 999, are
therefore requested to meet Sunday
morning at 10 o'clock at the church
farm. They will come prepared with
rations as follows:
One demijohn with a cork in it.
said cork TO prevent the spilling or
otherwise wasting of the contents.
Which may be either bourbon or rye
as best suits the taste of the owner.
Each man must be his own barkeeper
on this occasion.
The commissary of the rank will sup
ply the food necessary, which, after
due consideration, has been placed at
one thin cracker for each of the 20
men of the rank.
Gum boots will not be necessary.
unless by some accident the demijohns
should be broken before the start for
the hunt occurs.
The hunters will take the street
4 cars from the most convenient point
near the farm, and with stealthy pace
make their way towards the Rio
Grande Western depot. They will on
their arrival there, seculde themselves
IN the ticket office, being very careful
TO observe that their presence is I'M
known TO the man who sweeps ont
hn -
of having to build the fire at home.
AFTER all have arrived and il is
clear that it is the proper thing to do.
our most worthy president, Josh Davis.
VIII give the commands. Scotty Ran
KIN and Mickey viii be put upon noise
less roller skates and will be carefully
let out OF the rear door, which will be
softly closed behind them. Scottv and
Mickey VIII then turn to the south and
inspect the fence that surrounds the
mammoth bear that is the terror of all
the eastern people who happen TO run
into its arms, and who has already
| made the Rio Grande depot a place TO
De summed at any and all times If
there are but three sides to the in
closure, the said Mickey and the said
! Scotty VIII at once procure enough
/ lumber and build the remainder of the
fence necessary to protect the members
/ OF the said sportsman's rank. Having
eto1AC ms Tic ScliQ mickey ana the said
Scotty VIII then, by means of some
velvet molasses candy, endeavor to
draw forth bruin from his lair but
/ with the distinct understanding that
they are TO keep well out of his reach.
! as 1t is OF record that this ferocious
monster at one time took from the
! hands of a small boy a package of
peanuts. for which the said small bow
had paid the sum of cents but a few
moments before. Having drawn ont
the monster, the said Scotty and the
/ said Mickey VIII return to the ticket
! office and report. having previously left
with bruin enough candy 10 hold him
| out of his kennel or mis- bathtub for Is
/ minutes.
| This being done, the creedmores
and the elephant rifles will be careful
/ ly inspected, and then the sportsman's
rank. Blue Church, lodge ss9, will
carefully steal forth
They will wait until it is seen that
the ferocious brute insists on eating
the last bit of candy left on the ground
and, being assured of that fact, they
Will at once pump into his villainous
carcass as much lead as they con-
veniently can without going to too
much expense and trouble
Then the honorable grand slaughter
er of the rank viii proceed to stick a
knife into the throat Of bruin in order
that we may be sure that he is dead.
Brutn. after the refreshments have
been disposed of, and not before. will
be loaded into the first express wagon
that can be had for % cents. and
brought TO the rooms of the rank.
where he viii be put on exhibition I'M
I'll Christmas eve, after which time he
IN many small particles. will be found
IN the homes of the poor people OF this
city
There was some talk of having a
parade, but it is a custom of the Blue
Church to do good by stealth, and most
OF the members would blush to find
that they had suddenly become fam
GUS
Murderer Coughlin will die like dog.
many people say. He begged for more
time when Judge Hart sentenced him to
be shot on Tuesday next; he wanted TO
see his friends. he said. before. going off
The court, however did not see nit to
grant his request and probably his honor
may have thought that Coughlin did not
give e;tner of his victims much warning
before he sent them into eternity
COuglin appears to be naturally Gepraved
and although ne fears TO meet death he
has no regrets for the foul murders he
committed Il statements made by those
who guard him are correctly reported
He told one Of them that if he were
placed in the same circumstances again
he would commit murder again. His
brutal nature comes out on the slightest
provocation and when he was eating
dinner the other day. the death watch
says he remarked that he could eat n
piece OF Davis. one of the men he killed,
if il were nicely cooked.