Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-09-16
THE SPINNING WHEEL

in the Rappel on the doings of Ii Hung
Chang in Europe. After noting that
he had seen the formidable armies of the
European powers, and the immense in
dustrial and commercial activity OF the
West, M. Lanessan declares he must
return to China with a terrible secret
which he would not dare to whisper IN
Pekin lest he should pay for it with his
head He says: "He takes back to
China. from his tour in the world and
from his attentive study of Europe, the
conviction that sooner or later his coun-
try will be devoured by the Western
nations, who. sincerely or hypocritically,
pretend to believe in peril from the
yellow race. He will, for the future,
have but one thought. like the Turk
to get the nations of the West by the
ears, and to get them to tear each other
GO pieces, with the object of delaying the
day when China will be beaten and
torn by them. Paris Correspondence
London Standard.
Israel Zangwill relates that when the
notorious Lueger, whose platform was
the extinction of the Jews of Vienna,
was up for election as burgOmaster, a
poor Jew took bride of a couple of
forins TO vote for him. "GOd will frus-
trate him." said the pious Jew; mean
time l have his money.
-.O:
81 suppose" said the school teacher S
acquaintance, that you are sorry to see
vacation coming to close
NO was the reply II think it has
lasted long enough to serve its most I'M
portant purpose.
you mean that the pupils and their
Instructors have had a chance to re-
cuperate;'
hot I C hn
parents q chance to realize that their
children are not the angels they always
assume them to be when they get into
trouble at school. Washington Star.
4 minister missing one of his congre-
CATION from church, called on him one
day to see what was the matter.
well, Mr.. McNab, [ was wondering
what was the matter that you were not
at church these few Sundays back"
''Oh, | have been at Mr.. DUnlOp's
kirk"
Minister-"Oh. l don't care for my
congregation going to other churches
How would you like your sheep to go into
strange pastures?"
Mr.. MCMAHON, = wadna care a
grain if they got better grass" It'd
Bits.
Here is a shooting story from the West
Highlands of Scotland. A party of gen
tlemen had just set out for a days sport
when Mr.. B., the lessee, found occasion
to send the head keeper back with q mes
sage to the house. On the latters return
he mentioned that the Miss B. s" had
told him to say so-and-so. That's wrong,
Donald, "intrusively remarked a glib
tongued youthful member of the party:
you ought to say the Misses B." Don
aid made no reply, but he had his re-
Venge later in the day. His censor was
an Indifferent shot, and having fired
ing any damage, he exclaimed, "A miss,
by Jove" That's wrang," shouted the
keeper at the top of his voice 1T OUGHT to
be misses! "-Westminster Gazette.
c. s. Johnson of Juneau, Alaska. en-
joys the distinction of having helped TO
nominate both the Republican and Dem
0cratlc nominees. He voted for Nc
Kinley in the st. Louis convention, and
then went to Chicago ''to see the fun
The convention being short of Alaska
men, he was made delegate from that
far-off territory, and Bryan was his can
didate.
You'll drive me into my grave win
your demands for money" said old Sleek
II hen you'll have to give me f10 more"
said Mrs. Sleek, because mourning
goods are very expensive. "-Tid-Bits
No man, says the Westminster Ga
zette, with half an eye can have failed
to remark two facts as he takes his
walks abroad-the increase in the num-
Der of women with auburn or Titan
hued hair, and the decrease in the com
The craze for peroxide of hydrogen is
more than on the wane, but the demand
Tor henna is so great that while none.
or next to none, was imported a cou-
pie of years ago, thousands of pounds
worth is now annually brought into the
country. Already the color has trav-
eled across the Atlantic. So generally
have the. chorus girls and soubrettes
gone IN for red hair that one of the
theatrical managers has told a reporter
that nearly every women who has ap-
piled to him for an engagement has hair
OF the sunset tint" He believes, in
deed that IF new color isn't forth
coming, there won't be a goIden-haired
woman in the profession in a years
time"
In the absence of the regular golf edi-
tor the following question from a begin
ner was referred to the turf editor for an
answer: I'm game of golf is it right
to fuzzle your put, or it is better to fet-
ter on the teeW The turf editor set his
teeth firmly, stared hard at the wall
in front of him a few moments, and
wrote the following reply: ''In case a
player snaggles his iron it is permissible
for him to fuzzle his put, but better
plan would be for him to drop his guppy
into the pringle and snoodle it out with
niblick. '-Chicago Tribune
49,
THE SECRET COMBINATION.
Her heart she locked fast in her breast
Away from molestation;
The lock was warranted the best