The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
EFULLY MADE CAN A GRACEFUL AS THEIR ELDERS

corners of the coat front to the bottom
or the vest. The latter garment had an
whole garment containing just enough
goods to make watch guard. When he
got the whole suit on he felt like any
thing but a happy man, but the feeling
did. When he bore the precious bundle
homeward he was prouder than many
men who owned dress suits instead Of
renting them.
The wife went to a hair-dresser leaving
the husband to the glories of his dress
suit After violent and manful strug-
gle, he succeeded in getting into the trOu-
sers. He owned no patent feathers, and
his calf skin shoes, with a coat of liquid
dressing that refused to shine over ordi-
nary backing, looked as If they had been
dipped in ink. This domestic finish" add
ed nothing in the way of comfort. Then
came the shirt
Just as he had got that freshly lam-
dered garment well adjusted, a cold per-
spiration broke out all over the victim s
person as he noted the narrowness of the
bosom. A horrid possibility he dared not
even mentally express daWned upon him.
But 1t was the only clean shirt he owns
ed Collar and a three-for-a-quarter
white bow We're the next essentials, and
then that dreadful horse collar vest! 1t
was as he had expected! The shirt bosom
was two inches too narrow for the vest
opening! He at last decided to pull the
vest down narrowing the vent, and pin
the bottom to the trousers. Ut was nearly
| time to go, and the heroic measures were
| necessarily But this made the waist-band
of the trousers peer up over the top but
ton of that NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. vest He
shed tears, and would have fam done like
wise with the vest He put a handker-
chief there to hide the waistband Thar
/ was better Ihe coat once on and duly
! pinned at the corners he called at the
| hairdresser's for his wife. He was brave
| beneath the shelter of his ulster
When they arrived at the hall and
| separated for the cloak rooms, all The
/ pms came out OF his patched-up rigging.
/ He, fastened in carnation TO hide part
/ Of his unlaundered muslin. He also made
/ the cheering discovery that in festooning
! his handkerchief over the ambitions waist
| band he had made great exhibition of
! the only dirty spot on that cotton SQUARE
! More ice water perspiration; and he sank
/ into the nearest chair. As he did so his
/ vest front spread, showing three inches
! of shirt and suspender buckle on each
/ side of that precious shirt bosom He
pulled the coat lapels together and wanted
! TO go home But there sat his Wife with
pretty blue chiffon al neck and sleeves
! of her one Sunday dress, her hair nicely
! arranged, huge bunch of carnations on
/ her breast and a peaceful smile on her
| face She looked up, caught sight OF
the funny look of suffering on his face
and laughed. Then he was mad He fell
/ that the wife and dress suit We're con
/ spring to drive him to drink
This, dear reader, takes the man only
/ to O'Clock in the evening. 1t was 12:%
/ before his wife wanted to go home The
| intervening period is one of agony to0
| next fun dress affair he attended he wore
! a pair of light trousers, sack coat. black
tie, tan shoes, sat with his knees crossed
! and enV!ed no man.
He had been man out OF his element
| Under such circumstances all men are
| miserable
u guess I'm stuck" said the answer.
correspondents man. what is it?'
! asked the rest of the force in deep sym.
| pathy. 'Girl writes to Know which of
| her fiances should have the preference
in going with her TO church-the first one
or the second. Cincinnati Enquirer
II haven't time" you cry, distraught
| BY urgent calls at every turn
In the next word-consoling thoughtl-
You viii have time to Durn."-Life.
Julius Won Payer q Bohemian artist
had the marvellous experience of going
| four times to the Arctic regions. He Is
the only artist in that specially in Eu-
| rope.