The Iola register., 1896-05-29

will be merchant prince. Indoience
is the cause # more failures in all oc-
cupatious than you have ever sus-
pected. People are too lazy to do
what they can do. and want to under
take that which they cannot do. In
the drama of life they don't want
to be a common sold er, carrying
halberd across the stage, or falconer,
or mere attendant, and so they
lounge about the scenes till they shall
be called to be something great After
awhile, ty some accident of prosperity
or circumstances, they get into the
place for which they have no qualifica-
ton And very soon, if the man be
merchant, he is going around asking
mis- creditors to compromise for ten
cents on the dollar. Or, if clergy
man, he is making TRADES against the
ingratitude of churches. Or. if an at
iorney. by unskillful management he
loses case by which widows and
orphans are robbed of their por-
:iru. Or. # physician, he by
malpractice gives his patient rapid
transit from this world to the
next Our incompetent friend would
have made a passable horse doctor,
but he wantei to be professor of anat-
nmy in university. He could have
sold enOu b confectionery to have sup
ported his family, but he wanted to
have su~ar refinery like the Have
meyers lie could have mended shoes,
but he wanted to amend the constitu-
tion of the United States Towards
the end of life these are out of
patience, out of money, out of friends,
out of everything. They go to the
poor house, or keep out of It by run
ming in debt to all the grocery and dry
goods stores that will trust them. Peo-
pie begin to wonder when the curtain
will drop on the scene. After awhile.
leaving nothing but their compliments
to pay the doctor, undertaken. and
Gabriel Grubb, the grave-digger, they
disappear Exeuntl Kissed off the
stage.
Others fail in the drama of life
| through demonstrated selfishness.
They make all the rivers empty into
their sea, all the roads of emolument
end at their door, and they gather all
the plumes of honor for their brow.
They help no one, encourage no one,
rescue no one. "How big a pile of
money can get?" and "How much of
the world can / absorb?' are the chief
| questions. They feel about the COM
mon people as the Turks felt towards
the Asapi, or common soldiers, consid-
ering them of no use except to fill up
the bitches with their dead bodies
while the other troops walked
over them to take the fort
After awhile this prince Of world
ly success is sick. The only inter
est society has in his illness is
the effect that his possible disease may
have on the money markets After
awhile he dies. Great newspaper cap
itals announce how he started with
nothing and ended with everything.
Although, for sake of appearance,
some people put hankerchiefs to the
eye, there is not one genuine tear shed
The heirs sit up all night when he lies
in state, discussing what the old fellow
has probably done with his money.
1t takes all the livery stables within
two miles to furnish funeral equipages.
and all the mourning stores are kept
busy in selling weeds of grief The
stonecutters send in proposals for
monument. The minister at the OBJ
sequies reads of the resurrection, which
makes the hearers fear that if the un-
scrupulous fnancie does come up in
the general rising he will try to get
corner" on tombstones and grave
yard fences. All good men are glad
| that the moral nuisance has been re-
moved. The Wall street spectators
are glad because there is more room
| for themselves The heirs are glad
because they get possession of the
long-delayed inheritance. Dropping
every feather of all his plumes, every
certificate of all his stocks, every bond
of all his investments, every dollar of
all his fortune, he departs, and all the
rolling of Dead March in Saul and all
the pageantry of his interment, and
the exquisiteness of sarcophagus, and
all the extravaganza of epitaphology
cannot hide the fact that my text has
come again to tremendous fulfillment,
men shall clap their hands at him
and shall hiss him out of his place"
You see, the clapping comes before
the hiss The world cheers before it
damns So. it is said, the deadly asp
tickles before 1t stings Going up, is
he? Hurrah! Stand back and let his
galloping horses dash by, a whirlwind
of plated harness and tinkling head
gear and arched neck. Drink deep
of his Madeira and cognac- Boast of
how we'll you know him All hats of
as he passes Bask for days and years
in the sunlight of his prosperity. Go
ing down, is he? Pretend to be near
sighted, so that you cannot see him as
he walks past When men ask you if
you know him, halt and hesitate as
though you were trying to call up dim
memory, and say: well, y-e-e-s, yes;
believe l once knew him, but have not
seen him for long while" Cross a
different ferry from the one where
you used to meet him lest he ask for
financial help When you started life
he spoke good word for you at the
bank. Talk down his credit now that
bfo aro o0lIa-oir. ua