The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1896-11-28

O1dld- 4SA l. NUuI 1--WE lCI IT'LL very
sudden? Maude-Well, his aunt died
very suddenly.-Life.
She-I wonder what is "the old, old
story" He-You are the first girl I
ever loved.-Indianapolis Journal.
Something to Crow About.-First
Rooster-Well, what do you think Of
my wife? Second Rooster-Very chic.
New York Press.
Don't you know it is wrong to fish
here on private g%rounds?" "Well, sir,
the line must be drawn somewhere"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Shaw-What would you recommend
for insomnia, doctor? Doctor-Do some
thing to tire you. Shaw-But l can't
afford to take a vacation.-Truth.
Tired SOuls.-Irksome Ike-Say. Sam
mic, how'd yer like to be an angel?
Sam'l Fewcloze-Not err bit. Think Of
fappin.-Up-to-Date.
"How intense are the fires of love-"
calculated the poet. EYES," answered
the father of six manageable daugh-
ters, but they do take a lot Of COAL"
London Pick-Me-Up.
Little Johnny opened his drum yes
terday to find where the noise came
FROM did he find out?" eyes; when
his father came home the noise came
from little Johnny."-Life.
Rubbing 1t In.-Cora-Why do you
think women are frivolous? Merritt
Because when a girl makes an enemy
of a man for life she always tells him
that they can still be friends.-Puck.
II cannot be your wife, Algy. There
is too great a difference between our
fortunes" But, Mabel, Pm sure there
would be no difference between them if
we could bring them together.'-Life.
"The giraffe has a tongue eighteen in.
ches long," said Mrs. Garrill. and
knows how to hold it, too,'' snapped Mr..
Garrill, who had had a long curtain
lecture the night before.-Harper's Ba-
EAR.
Becoming Blonde.-She-This novel
list writes of his heroine as a tall girl
with becoming blonde hair. Hell sup
pose he means by that that she was
IiN lAS ~ ELI
quirer.
"Your husband painted the house
this spring himself, didn't he?" We'll,
yes; l suppose he got some of the paint
on the house, but you wouldn't think
sc if you could see his clothes.'-Buf-
/ falo News.
Had to Keep Steady.-"Did you feel
nervous and tremble when Bikeleigh
proposed?' "No; I didn't dare to-"
Didn't dare to-" "No. You see, we
! were riding a tandem at the time
London Truth.
Young Wife-Oh, John. the rats have
eaten all my angel cake. Husband
What! All of it? Young Wife-Every
piece! l feel like crying. Husband
Oh. pshaw! Don't cry owe a few rats.
Harlem Life.
Johnny has quit talking about want
ing to be a pirate and wallow in gore,
l notice." Eyes; he finds enough salts
faction of that sort right here at home
in scorching around the corners.'-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Hannah, what are you standing
there staring at ME for? Didn't l tell
you l was not to be interrupted unless
the house was on freq 'Well, mum,
that's it. 1t do be burning this half
hour."-Indianapolis Journal.
What poor shoppers the men are"
exclaimed Mrs. Trotter on her way
home from a shopping expedition. my
husband hardly ever pays less than
Is cents for a cigar, and here l have
bought a whole box for 75.'-Boston
Transcript.
"What are you looking for? We've
got everything worth taking" II am
looking" The other burglar con-
tinued his search. for the much
larger booty which the newspaper to-
morrow will say we overlooked."-Har-
pcr's Bazar.
ADVERTISEMENTS darling must
never use the word pants" 1t is very
vulgar. The Child 1.-TWO hours later)-
Oh, mammal! Just look at Fido; he's
been running in the garden with me,
and see how he-he-bloomers!-Phil-
adelphia North American.
Sweet one, 1 love you,'' he whisper
ed to his partner at the masquerade.
81 should think you would" she re-
piled, "seeing that l am your wife"
Didn't 1 know it, darling? What
other woman do you think l would
say that to?"-Boston Courier.
Billings-I've got Il safe job now. My
EMPLOYER can't possibly fire me. Polk
Why? You don't mean to say that
you have your employer in a compro-
missing position? Billings-Not exact
ly; but you see l am working for an
asbestos company.-Philadelphia North
American.
First Moth-May l inquire why you
are laughing S o heartily? Second
Moth-Oh, nothing much; only the an
ties Of that green moth from the coun-