davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Irish Humor.

"You should get yoar ears Topped,
Brian said a smart tourist to an
Irish peasant whom he was quizzine.
They're too large for q mar. s.Ar,
bedad.' replied the Hibernian, II was
just thinkin yours would want to be
made larger! Sure they re too small fer
an asst
Barney was q noted car driver at o
we'll known Irish watering place. He
held that the "salt wather'' was vastly
improved by mixture with e drop Of
the craythur," but would not commit
himself to the opinion that the latter
element gained anything by the com
bination. He sometimes drank more Of
1t meat than was wise or we'll for the
father Of his weak family. One hot
day. after a long drive and q liberal
fare, Barney turned into the best bar in
town and asked for q sprinkle. Just to
keep down the dust" The proprietor,
who would rather have other customers
than poor Barney, came in as the latter
was raising the glass. .tBarney,'' he
said, I'D rather you wouldn't be drink
ing, my boy. You know you were sorry
for it before, and / suppose you'll be
sorry for this too" "Begorra, Knight"
replied Barney, '.but, sure. its safer
to be sorry for takin it than fer net tax
in lt!'-Nestminster Gazette.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Thrifty France,

In France, said Max Schottek, who
represents a great American dry goods
firm IN Paris, nearly every man v
something. 1t doesn't matter how small
his income may be, he manages to put
BY q portion Of his earnings. In this re-
spect the thrift Of the people stands out
IN marked contrast to the prcdigal ways
of the citizens of the United States.
Here it seems essential to spend a big
sum OF money to get much pleasure; i'll
fact, the amount 6 pleasure seems
measured by the money expended. But
I think it undoubtedly true that the
French people get more enjoyment out
of life than the Americans.
Il see much to admire in this nation
its wonderful progress, its inventive
genius, its unrivaled There
is nothing in Europe like your luxurious
railways or your fine hotels. But with
all that / had rather live i'll France.
Our nation has a bad name, I find, liz
this country, but the reputation isn't
deserved There is as much real religion
and pure home life in France as exists
in any land. We so to church early
Sunday morning and in the afternoon
to the picture galleries or fer q jaunt into
the woods. / think you woIld be better
of over here if yea enjoyed Sunday
more after the liberal fashion that pre-
walls across the ocean. .-Washington
Pest
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Namea

Delaware has been called the Dia-
mond State, for. though small in size,
it formerly vas Of great political i'm
p~ortaace- 1t also enjoys the nickname
Of the Blue Hen State. this having
been bestowed Oh account Of a gentle
man named Caldwell. who made the
state famous in sporting annals BY the
quality Of his ~gamecocks. which he IL
ways bred frem the eggs Of q blue hen,
believing that this was the best color
for the mother of a gamecock.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
VnbuOouf Grnt,ufl.
SING

q sang me . song,
MI the close Of the year.
Sing again! /.
] cannot remember the name
Or the words
'Tis the same
We listen to hear
when the windows NJ oTe1 In spring
And the airs full Of birds.
One calls from the branch omes sweet thing.
n n sings On the wing
The refrain.
Xou sam me a song
My heart thrilled to Lear.
80 The refrain
E.s rEn like q f:liet OF eoi. -
Through tie wool
OF the cold
Lark Gays of q year.
Tonight there's year IT its start
Ali the birds re alGof.
Scrr eyes Loid the sun tor ny part,
And lie springs in on heart
Sirg aea.at
-Scaia.cr's Magazine.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Avoid Purple Ink.

The pE-p1e ink fad seems to be spread
ing. Il i, Ct al correspondence fads.
the most d~isac-eeable.
To reed many pages written in this
glittering, shining color is enough tc
give the reader 81 attack OF mental pros
rration IS well Is to p~recipitate blind.
ness.
The faculty which purple ink pos
sesses e gvinS positively alive and
making ali the curves Ct letters seem
like wriggiing snakes is something re-
markable and something which should
Danish purple ink from polite corre-
spondence. Strand Magazine.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Bernhardt's b

1.-THE divine Sarah has just been
describing the emotions that shook her
when she appeared for the first time on
the boards: Il can picture the evening
as though it were now. The excitement
oh, it was SO grand!-drew forth
my Utmost passion, for / was very young
then. You know, and it gave me zest
and fervor for the ordeal / had to face.
I can see the little theater and the PEG
pie seated in the audience. Ny heart
for the moment seemed to stand still.
The first words / uttered fell from my
lips with distinct accent. ] made one
grand step forward, and then all my
nervousness vanished"
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Stoned the Rxfs;ns.

There, mamma" said the little
girl, exhibiting acupful Of raisin stones,
haven't ! been q good girl to stone all
them raisins without stopping till I had
got them al done:,
Manma-ion are mammals own lit
tie girl. You can throw tie stones III
Ihe ash barrel. But, BY the way, what
did y1u do with the raisins.
Own Little Girl-Oh, I ate them.-
Boston Transcript
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Cost Of o Coed Skeleton.

Skeletons? They are prepared for
the use Of physicians and medical stu
dents, and the best come from Paris
and cost frcna &35 to $50. The medical
profession prefers them to the American
make. which can be had fer IS o. $40.
for the Frenchman has mastered the Sc
cret Of treating the bones SO that they
are shorn Of all offensive odorR. The
American has not yet discovered the
secret, and the demand for his product
is devoted solely to the poorer classes Of
students and doctors. secret organize
items and artistS-Kansas City World
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15

NeUUne $780,

Now, re oven hear q obscure nerv-
Gus arrangements with no clear cause
following railway Academia, and of
strange nervous symptoms complicating
such obvious physical injuries as may
occur, and many questions are apt to be
raised as to the possibility Of such phe-
nomena being due to any known degree
OF conclusion or injury Of the nervous
cen.ers, and MT iEt-coucnsly muck doubt
is thrown Oh the bona fdcs Ct plaintiffs
In such CASES. While, however, gate
admitting tie frequency with which
fraud is at tire bottom Ct claims against
railway ~ccc.ras.ics. it does rot Go 70
forgot that something else besides mere
physlca. injury may resul. from I. rail
way accident. II terror, a ssadcl and
lnteEsc Ecfrcr, or. as Il woald sly,
"sle.c nervous shock" without any
physical injury 1T ill, will prodaca
loHg lasting changes il the mental and
nervous mechanism, it would be strange
indeed Il such changes We're no found
II patients who, whatever the nature or
extent Ct their othe- injuries. have Scne
through the terrible shock Ct 4 serious
railway accident. From the moment CT
tic trst dancing O. the rails. through
the terrible time when passengers and
r-crtnaanteaus are being tossed heIpIessiy
about, up TO the moment when. with q
final crunch. all becomes still, may not
be { long time: Lat. short IS il is, it i
a sIcll q the intes:scst agony and terror
which Can be conceived, and it would
indeed be passing strange if it did not
write deeply d many nervous systems
its note OF horror. London Hospital
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Onions.

Onions are almost the best nervina
known, says The Housekeepar. No
medicine Is so useful in cases of nerv-
Gus prostration, and there is nothing
else that viii 50 quickly relieve and
t11e q WORKOUT system. Onions are use
ful IN all cases Of coughs, colds and in
fuenza, IN consumption, insomnia, hy-
drophobia, scuryy- gravel and kindred
liver complaints Eaten every other day
they 2 have ! clearing and whiten-
ing effect On the complexion.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15

The severe itching and smarting pro
duced BY Being poisoned with ivy oak
or dogwood may be relieved b. washing
the parts affected with a solution Of
~saieratas water-2 t~easpoonfuls to q pint
OF water-and then applying cloths wet
with extract of witch hazel
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
The Kings Gua-o.

The most extraordinary precautions
are taken IL spain to provide for the
safety ct the sovereign at night. His
el1iabers are watched throughout the
night b. the Monterof dc Espinosa, a
body Of men who for 400 years have en-
loyed the exclusive privilege Of guard
ing their royal master or mistress from
sunset to sunrise.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Refor m Spelling.

Whitelaw Reid IN q letter to & "re-
form spelling advocate sensiblv says
Of the duty Of the state board Of rerrnts:
I'VE at least should avoid the barba-ous
business CT ~yivisaction On our noble liz
ing English. Such changes as are need
full should, so far as we are concerned.
come, as in nature, slowly, and not ar
tifcially, but IL the order Of growth"
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Drudgery.

The everyday cares and duties which
men call drudgery r the weights and
counterpoises Of tie clock Of time, CIV
ing it's pendulum a true vibration and
its hands q regular motion, and when
they a to hang upon its wheels the
pendulum no longer swings, the hands
no longer move, the clock stands still
longfelloW.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15

Art thou q man, and shamst thon
20 beg, to practice such a servile
kind Of life? Why, were thy education
ne'er 50 mean. having thy limbs, a
thousand fairer courses offer themselves
to thy election.-Ben Jonson.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
A Lesson IN Punctuation.

Professor in English ito young many
How would you punetuate the follow
ing: The beautiful girl. Tor such was
she, was passing down the street,
STUDENT think, professor. I would
make q dash after the beautiful girl
Strand Magazine
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15

Let not nirth be thy profession, lest
thou become a make sport. He that
hath but gained the title of a Jester let
him assure himself the col il not far
Of. -Quarlcs.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
Ancient Egyptian Cloth.

The clcth Of the old Egyptians was
SO good that. though it has been used
for thousands CT years as wrappincs Of
the nunnnies, the Arabs Of today can
wear it. It is all Of linen, the ancient
EoTDtians considering wool unclean-
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15

All caveats are drawn up in substan-
tally the same form as applications for
Inventions, must contain descriptions
and models. and each must be limited
to q single discovery or invention.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15

Letter writer's in Spain receive about
~ cents . page for writing letters. If
required to take extra pains, a. with a
young woman's love letteG. they charge
Is cents.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15

GOOD NEWS.

With a view CT r. largiHr the tnwn or Lock
port. | have iivinel ry ine small planta,ian
measuring five a~ryetsta trent III Bavou ia.
fcnrche. situated between Leckptrt and rho
Catholic Church, into toxin lets, which ARE
offered for sale.
tersons desiring 10 buy and to locate III
hat beautiful village shun il write 10 or eal.s
n me for fnli particulars.
r. DARILLEAUX.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1896-08-15
VIRGINIA COLLEGE
FOR YOUNG LADIES. Rosnc..r-

OEs-ns Sept. NJ, It46. One Of the ,e.a,.-
Schools for Young Ladies' In The south NJ
ninceht buildings MI modern mIroyements
CAMPUS Ten ktres. GrsT nd MouEtsir s.,sra-.
in Valley If Va. famed Ter beatty. EnrnrSsa
knd American teachers. Full course. Rs,rI
rior sdvnntxEcs in Art ard Music. S,r.dars-
from ~. MY States. For tataiog ues adore
the Ffc&iceEf. ~
MATTE r HARRIS. Roanoke, Virginia
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
FIFTEEN TONS OF BEEF.
The Amount of Food Necessary to Sup
ply Shipload OF Guests.

The Amount of Food Necessary to Sup
ply Shipload OF Guests.
A ship like one of the new liners fire.
Questly carries 1900 persons across the
ocean. There is probably no hotel in
the world that frequently has any such
number of guests for a week at a time.
1t must be remembered. also. that these
guests are of three classes-the first and
second cabin and the steerage. This
brings problems that no hotel is called
upon to meet, not only in supplying food
but i'll supplying the furnishings. AL
most every article that can be imagined
to be of use in hotel or private house
is included in the list of supplies. The
list ranges from beer mallets to pianos,
from DISTINGUISHING machines to dice
boxes. from. dark lanterns to costly sta
tionery, from a printing press to fire
proof safe.
The supplies for the physical comfort
and necessities of 1900 persons on Il
ship may be measured by the ton Eff
teen tons of beef, for instance are often
sist of two general kinds, those for the
ship itself and those for the passengers
and crews. The chief supplies for the
ship are coal and water. About 5000
tons of coal are put OH board every voy-
age and about $50 tons of water for
cooking and drinking purposes. In adj
dition to this amount of water about
fifty tons are made day on board by
the evaporatOrs from sea water. This
water is largely used for cleaning pur-
poses The water for cooking and drink
ing is taken from the ordinary water
supply of New York city. There are
hundreds of items for the engine room
and the other departments of the ship
that require replenishing from voyage to
yoyage.-NeW York Sun.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
Top of popocatepetl hv R.,1

The. survey of the volcano Ponocssx
petl, Mexico, for the purpose Of deda,-
mining the best location for an aerial
cable cable on railway to the summit has just
to start the line from the ranch 81 fn ne
macus, and it will'be connected With "a ID
Interoceanic railroad at the base 50 ,n +h hne :
the business of shipping sulphur can ,n a.
cheaply accomplished. This now ,o y =
way will be a great attraction to fonr.
lists, who will now be able to make Tho
a ascent Mt to the summit, $4,000 feet above
the sea, and also descend to the crater
where the process of extractina s,,l,,h1l,
is being carried ont sulphur
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
The Greatest Medical Discovery
of the Age.
KENNEDY'S
MEDICAL DISCOVERY.
DONALD KENNEDY, OF ROXBURY. MASS.

Has discovered in one of our common
pasture weeds remedy that cures every
kind of Humor, from the worst Scrofula
down to common Pimpe.
He has tried it in over eleven hundred
cases, and never failed except in two cases
(both thunder humor). He has now in his
possession over two hundred certificates
of its value, all within twenty miles of
Boston. Send postal card for book.
A benefit is always experienced from
the first bottle, and a perfect cure is war
ranted when the right quantity is taken.
When the lungs are affected it causes
shooting pains, like needles passing
through them; the same with the Liver or
Bowels. This is caused by the ducts being
stopped, and always disappears in week
after taking it. Read the label.
If the stomach Is foul or bilious it will
cause squeamish feelings at first.
No change of diet ever necessary. Eat
the best you can get, and enough of It.
Dose, one tablespoonful in water at bed
time. Sold by all Druggists.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
Smoking as a Protection.

A Viennese professor has made public
the fact that the chances of a smoker
suffering from diphtheria or other dis
eases of the throat. as compared with
those of a non-smoker are as 1 to 2S.
His observation enables him to assert
that smoking tends to check the develop
ment of bacteria and to kill them: so
much is this the case that it has been
found essential to forbid smoking in bac-
THEOLOGICAL laboratories. After all. there
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
Horse and Horse.

George Grossmith is one of our best
known public performers, but he has a
non-professional social life. when he
sinks his public character in that of an
ordinary English gentleman. A good
story bearing on the point is as follows:
Once wealthy halter. with whom Mr..
Grossmith had some slight acquaintance.
came up to him at a Mansion house ball
and said. 'Hulloa. Mr.. Grossmith; what
are you doing here? Are you going to
give us any of your little funniments-
eh?'' NO. replied Mr.. Grossmith; 'are
you going to sell any of your hats?
CaSSellS MAGAZINE
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
A Poor Effort.

DR.. Eaton. president of Madison uni
versity forty years ago. was beloved by
the students and his good opinion courted
above all things. One commencement
day the student who had delivered the
valedictory approached the doctor and
timidly asked him wha- he thought of
the effort. The doctor looked at him
a moment and then said. slowly: ed
ward. if you would pluck few of the
feathers from the wings of your mag
nation and stick them in the tail of your
speeches"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
Christening a Ship.

Some English shipbuilders propose to
abandon the Notwithstanding ceremonies
at future launching of vessels, but will
substitute for it another idea. Here
after. instead Of breaking the bottle of
lady will let loose cageful of swift
birds. which will fly in all directions as
the ship begins to move, typifying the
diverse nature of commerce. The idea.
which is borrowed from the Japanese.
teaches liberty and economy.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
Tobacco in America.

Caricaturists in depicting a German
are in the habit of putting big pipe in
his mouth. The pipe is national, indeed;
hut the Germans as a nation are far
from being the greatest smokers. They
do not smoke more than Frenchmen,
Russians. Swedes or Hungarians. The
men of the United States and the men
of Switzerland are the most inveterate
smokers in he world In these two
countries the consumption of tobacco per
head is three times greater than in Ger
MANY
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
lal2yzk2l

Harry NJ Conrad, of No. 1744
Twelfth street, Washington, d. G.,
says: Il can speak in the highest
praise of Ripans Tabules. have
been for years troubled with night
mare ian erroneous expression, but
one that thousands are familiar
With, and have suffered a thousand
dea tbs, being caused directly by
a torpid liver thence stagnation
of the blood. 4 short while after
retiring l would experience the
most terrible sensation that human
can fall heir to, such as having
heavy weights upon you, seeing
horrible animals, burglars, etc,
and being unable to get out of
their reach. l have tried everything
on the market that | could think
would be Of any benefit, but never
struck the right remedy until |
tried Ripans Tabules, and since
that time nightmare with me is q
thing of the past. | am fully CON
WINGED that Ripans Tabules are Il
good thing for suffering humanity,
and l feel that could not exist
without them And l will further
say for the benefit of others know
ing there are thousands suffering
in the same manner), profit by my
experience and try them; you will
never regret it."
Ripans Tabues sold by druggists. OF by mail !
he price go cents box is sent to The klpans Shemi
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
A Child Enjoys

The pleasant flavor, gentle action and
soothing effects of Syrup of Figs. when
in need of a laxative, and if the father or
mother be costive or bilious, the most
gratifying results follow it's use: so that
it is the best family remedy known. and
every family should have a bottle on
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
CAUGHT ON THE FLY

AS the Duke of Wellington was stand
ing, one day, opposite his house IN Picca-
dliiy waiting an opportunity to cross the
street, an entire stranger to him offered
MS arm to the duke to assist him in
crossing. Although Wellington hated
assistance of any kind, he accepted the
strangers arm, and the latter, having
secured a passage by signing to the
u eIf OF the vehicles to stop. conducted
the great man in safety across the
street: L thank you, sir, said the duke.
releasing his arm and proceeding to his
mouse door. Bat the stranger, instead
or moving off, raised his hat and deliv-
ered himself to the following effect:
3oSlr grace, have passed long and not
uheventfui life, but never did | hope to
reach the day when / might be of the
ssIlghtest assistance to the greatest man
[hat ever lived Don't be damned
1901; responded the duke, and turned on
his heel.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02

A Thorough Sport-Pelham Parker
.Charlie Meadowbrooke's horse ran
away with him at the last hunt, ana ne
rode down the hounds and finally over
took and passed the fox Reggy West
Couldn't he stop:" Pelham Park
er-''That's what the .whipper-in asked
him. but Charlie said he couldn't think
of stopping when he was ahead OF the
q m He Life
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02

The King of Portugal is fond of
roaming about the streets of his capital
unattended '.Qn one OCCASION" says
writer. Il saw him spring from his horse
and pursue and capture man who had
fred a pistol at him.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02
Halls Catarrh Cure.
Is taken internally. Price IS cents.

Soil brought up from depth of 326
feet in a fault in one of the Belgian
mines is said to have grown weeds UNI
known to the botanistS.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-02

of red, ..There won't be a blonde-hairedl
woman in the profession another year.
be said. ST this fad continues. Theatrl-
cal managers don't like it because Weh-
en- with red hair are more difficult 70
costume in colors than blondes. New
York Sun.