Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-04-02


Each wondering, modestly afraic,
Whose place it really is to speak.
Washington Star.
''How was the bride given away"
'tBy her conplexion.''-C Chicago Tee
ord.
Gazley-''is it good to eat at ni-tst i,e-
fore going to bed!" LaZhey--'ic tsef-
mite, man. is what good to eat?" -lSox-
bury Gazette.
'srhous hast q pretty wit, Qroilt the
monarch. AYE. and q dry hulnor." re-
piled the jester. Whcreupon the Ling
pushed the button.--P Philadelphia. Rec
ord
Corroborated. -~ New-Yorker Are
Philadelphians as slow as Newly orkers
think they are?'' Philadelphia (sur-
prised)-"Do New Workers. think we're
slow T--Truth
'It is sad" said one girl, that SO
many men nowadays have q great dead
more money than brains" Yes"
sighed another: land SO little money ut
tina Washington Star
Kitty, why has our French Revolu-
tion Club called an extra mectinG%
''Oh, Nan. we are so bothered; W" can't
find out whether we're read two vol
umes or three Louisville Courier
Journal.
Belle-"You know Jack Giddii,oy, OF
course; don't you think he is just out
of sight, Sadie~"1ndeed he isl
- 4
out of sight out of mind y" Boston
Courier.
81 understand your daughter has
given up bicycle riding Yes. she
sold her wheel as soon rs she found out
she couldn't wear high-heeled shoes on
it with any degree of success ''--Chica-
go Evening Post.
Hoax-''Timley went to Alaska pros
pecting for gold, and found lead in
stead" Joax-"Ah! In large quaint
ties, l suppose, and valuable" Hoax
mo; in small quantities, and fatal.''.
Philadelphia Record.
Mamma-"What do you mean by
taking that piece of cake? When you
asked for it didn't say no?" Tommy
''You did; but last night heard papa
say that when woman says no she al
ways mean yes."-Truth.
DOLLY hear Mary Antique was .
great belle at the dance the other even
ing. She told me she danced every
dance. Polly-Oh, yes. Mary's just
the kind Of girl to be belle at q leap
year dance.-Harvard' Bazaar.
She Oh, yes; l know that you think
that woman is silly creature, whose
head can be turned by mere iinery.
He-It is sure to be turned if some
other woman passes with the mere
finery on.--Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Greene-Of course, you read all
your husbands stories? Mrs. White
(wife of the popular autnor)-Oh, dear,
no! They are nothing to the stories
he sometimes tells me after he has
been out OF an evening. Boston Trans
cript
Office Boy There is man outside
VINO wishes TO see you. Business Man.
Didn't ! give orders that | was DOT to
be disturbed: Office Boy--Yes, sir; but
this is a very mild-looking man.
d0n't think he would create a disturb
nce-Truth
Maud hear proposing parties arc
all the style this winter. The girls do
the proposing and the one who pro-
poses the best gets the prize. Have
you been to any? Ethel-No; but L
Aor3vr. 10 +bn
other evening. How 90 YOU like my.
ringEHarper's Bazaar.
HelletieId-A cynical writer remarks
that a wedding always brings happi-
ness TO two, the florist and the clergy
man Bloomfield forgets the IA
ther of the bride, especially If the poor
man has half dozen other daughters
on his Misunderstanding Chronicle
Telegraph.
1.-The natural history class will now
write down the names OF twelve Arc
tic animals said the teacher in mo-
notonous tones. Little Johnnie dashed
off the following and handed his slate
proudly TO the teacher: six seals, five
polar bears and one walrus." New.
York Evening Sun.
Willie said the clearinghouse
mistress to her young son, Il was
ashamed of you at dinner. You kept
your arms on the table during the en-
tire mealr' Yes, mamma" was the
hopeful's reply; II didn't want to give
the boarders chance to say there was
nothin' on the table. "Yonkers States
man.