davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
One Good Turn, Etc.

Mr.. Hayseed-Im glad we sent Miss
Fliptop that handsome caster, even if it
did cost the price of ham. We're to
church, Mariah-reserved, too.
Mrs. Hayseed-Who told you so?
Here it is on the card; r.. S. V. p
That must mean reserved seats for val
liable present. N. Y. Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

three fifty within year? Ever hear OF
the Let-Her-Go-Gal Oh, but
you ought to, for Gallagher stock has
been glammocking around on London
change since 1880. A pretty straight
silver proposition was the Let-ElerGo-
Gallagher. An American miner would
have stocked her at 100000 and make
dividends; but pshaw! What can you
expect of gang of Britishers? A COM
pany promoter picked her up cheap
from the assigns of busted Jew, got
up syndicate, with Lord Guineapig for
president, and, times being $3.50,
palmed off 100000 worth of stock on
the mugginses. Then he invested the
plumber in his wife's name, went smash
and got whitewashed in bankruptcy.
So there was the Let-Her-Go-Galla-
CHER like white elephant on the hands
of Lord Guineapig and his mugginses
What was they going to do? Work the
mine? Well, you see, Lord Guineapig's
younger brother was a mining expert,
and the mugginses--mostly preachers
and widows-were proud to be hum
plugged by lord, so the end of it was
that the directors levied an assessment
and started to work developing.
And, as | said, an American mining
man with 81 900, 900 would have made the
mine pay, but it needs laundering big
profits to distribute a dividend on ST.
100000. These tenderfeet began opera
tons by renting big place in the city,
built a $250,000 granite building for Of
fees in Denver, Col; put up the wrong
kind of mill, the wrong kind of smelter,
and the wrong kind of works; then. to
show how much they didn't know, gave
the management to Hon. Augustus
Guineapig. At the city offices there
were clerks and fiunkeys; at the Denver
office, managers, clerks, typewriters
and flunkeys; at the mine, assayers, ex-
perts, managers, clerks, typewriters
and flunieys. Moreover, they all had
their horses, their dogs, their guns,
their eyeglasses and their horsecloth
overcOatS.
Every time the assayer sent home a
button of silver there was a champagne
luncheon for the directors; every mana
gers report went as puff to the news
papers, and the official photographer
used to send large groups of the staff in
their working clothes.
On change the stock wobbled up and
wobbled down with every letter from
Colorado; why, even the head of an elk,
sent home by Hon. Augustus, sent it
up three points. But at last all the CAPT
tai was spent no ore was in sight worth
a cuss, and the shares were hard to sell
in the city at three for shilling.
That's when l met Lord Guineapig in
Denver-blue as vitrol---for he'd got to
report to his shareholders that they'd
been sold again, poor suckers, and must
make an assignment.
"Loola-here," says l, "have you any
particular hankering after liquida-
tom
What do you mean, sir?"
"Well, sir, seems to me that now you're
in a nasty hole, it'd be superfuous to
waliow around in it. 'Spose | take
a-hold of your mine and make it pay !;
what'll you do for me in the way of
shares?"
"Oh, I'll leave you our assayer, Mr.
Gneissmann; Mr.. Sniff, our account
ant; the Hon. Angus"
Take 'em away and bury EN-" says
/. Chem, their lordships, their horses.
their dawgs, their guns, their blarsted
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Little Boy-Pop, what's the differ
ence between an editor-in-chief and
managing editor?
Pop IAN old reporter) editor in
chief is the man who attends banquets
and gets all the glory; the managing
N. Y. Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

a." the young man frankly admitted,
IAN looking for snap"
Well" the elderly one suggested,
eff you have the ginger it ought to be
easy to find some one with the dough"
And a great silence fell inaudibly.-
indianapolis Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Atlas groaned heavily.
II WISH" he said bitterly, "that some
of those fellows who want the earth
would only happen along this way"
And shifting the weight trifle to the
other shoulder, he requested one of tho
bystanders to rub little hamamelis On
the cailoused places.-N. Y. Recorder.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
A Big shark.

a shark measuring 16 feet in length
is announced as having been captured
lately in the harbor of Sydney, N. S. W
The fish's stomach, on being opened
was found to contain a large dogs col
lar, a mans coat, a briarwood pipe,
some coppers and great number OF
safety pins.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
He Felt Confident,

"Do you worry about meeting your
notes ?'' said the victim of pecuniary em-
barrassment.
NO" said the person who is indis-
criminately fippant. Il don't worry
about meeting 'em. Experience has
taught me that l can just sit down;
and trust to 'em to run across me-
Washington Star.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
His Meaning.

Bellefeld-What did you mean by say
ing that Spiffus was a man of rare in
telligence? That isn't the way in which
he is usually regarded.
Bloomfield mean that his CLEANS
of intelligence are so far apart as to be
very rare indeed.--Pittsburgh Chron-
icle-Telegraph.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

A mother, commencing her daughter
for situation, was asked if she was an
early riser. IAN early riser!" she ex-
claimed. We'll, 1 should think so!
Why, she's up in the morning and has
breakfast ready and makes all the beds
before anyone else is up in the housed"
Youths Companion.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Il am resolved"
The Borden burglar made another
hasty resume of the house to see if there
were any more diamonds.
ITO leave no stone unturned!"
Satisfied that he had raked em all in,
he departed, cheerfully whistling.-N.
Y. World.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

A.-Before Miss Thinleighs father
made his fortune she used to be long
and lanky.
B.-Well, has she changed?
A.-Oh, yes! Now she is divinely
tall.-Odds and Ends.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Mrs. Wabash shall not be in the
least astonished if Johnny develops
clairvoyant powers.
Mrs. Jackson-P ar5e-Indeed?
Eyes. He's the son of a seventh hus-
band, you know."-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
Nothing New to Her.

Mrs. Jones-That Mrs. Tucker next
door must be an awful gossip.
Mr.. Jones - Why, what's the row
now?
Mrs. Jones-Oh, nothing in particu-
lar, but l never can tell her anything
but what she's heard it before.-Har-
per's Bazaar
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Mr.. YEAST remember, in the olden
days, when we went to church the wom-
en- would be put in one place and the
men in another
Mrs. Yeast-I guess the next world
will be conducted on that plan. too
Yonkers Statesman.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Rambo-I have bought a bicycle, and
now l suppose I've got to have lantern
if l do any riding after dark.
Baldwin, lantern? Great Scott.
What does a man with such a nose as
yours need of any other headlight
Chicago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

South Carolinians are "Weasels,"
Sand Killers" and Rice Birds" the
first an illusion to the thinness of the
early natives; the second, to their place
Of residence; the third, to a common
crop and bird which feeds on it
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Goodleigh-Goodh habits are every
thing.
Mrs. Goodleigh-I am glad you think
so. L was just going to ask you for $50
for a new dress.-To Date.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
Sarcastic.

Mr.. Blossom-My dear, there are
times and times.
Mrs. Blossom-Yes, and you've been
on 'em all.-San Francisco Wave.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Can you grasp the idea of eternity?''
almost. l loaned fellow ten dol
lars for three days, and he's had it for
seven ycars!'-Chicago Record.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

Josh Grayneck-So you heard the Gel
ebrated violinist play while you was up
to the city, jay? Wal, how did you like
him?
Jay Green (back from the metrop-
olis)-Shucks! He didn't amount to
much. I've seen more than 40 fellers
play that sweat more than he did.-N.
Y World
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
INTERFERING WITH BUSINESS.

Tenderfoot-Don't you see that man
killing all those people? Why don't
you stop him?
Alkali Jim-Stop him! Me! Well,
l guess not, pardner. Why, dang it,
man, I'm the coroner!-Bay City Chat.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
The Sordid View of 1t.

Visiting Acquaintance - Don't you
find it a great deal cheaper to live out
here in the country than it was in the
city?
Mr.. Subbubs--M-no; it's about the
same. My wife brought her chatting
dish along with her.-Chicago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

in 1899, by an act of parliament, the
use of dogs in London to draw carts as
beasts of burden was abolished.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

where are you going, my pretty maid ?"
I'm going to your employer, sir. she said.
81 don't get much salary, my pretty maid"
Then 1 won't marry you, sir" she said.
N. Y. Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04
THE SILVER CHAMBER.
MING (queried the
BY ROGER POCOCK.

MING (queried the
strangely - min
ing? Wall, now l
claim to be posted
on mining. Didn't
L take hold of the
Let Her Go-Gal-
lagher silver mine
when stock was
down at nothing,
and make it worth
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-06-04

-Georgians are "Buzzards," from a
state law protecting these birds.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27

christian statesmen, who have
thrown the mantle of their pro
lection around the ignorance, the
viciousness and the outlawry that
fiud one spot in the heart of civili-
zation which affords them a secure
retreat. Upon the shoulders of
these weavers of fine spun theories
rests the responsibility for this
tragedy and for the many hundreds
of tragedies that have been hatched
under these malignant conditions.
Thousands of good citizens in the
Indian territory are bending all
their energies TO the development
Of its splendid resources. 1t is a
grave diScredit to the national
government that the only obstacle
to the rapid improvement of these
conditions is its virtual protection
of the thieves, thugs and outlaws
that have fled there for security.
Its tolerance of semi -barbrous
tribal governments has made the
territory breeding ground for
criminals Of the most desperate
and dangerous type. 1t is re-
sponsible for Crawford, and for
all the killers, robbers and cut
throats Of that region.
Frank Dorsey was once an en-
ploYe Of the Gazette. and in his
young manhood he gave abundant
evidence of that loyalty to duty
that finally made him martyr to
it. All honor to him and to every
man who counts even life of less
Importance than the faithful dis
charge Of a trust. Fort Worth
Gazette.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27
WOMANKIND.
For Woman and Home.

Womankind appeals to the taste.
Of the great mass of people; its
editors aim to fill it with such
bright stories, clever poems. in
teresting sketches, helpful hints
and suggestions that no woman
can afford to be without it. Sen
sible Wear, " Motherhood. The
Bright Homes. Woman's Pro
gress, Child Life, " Floral,
Women of the Day" etc, are a
few of its interesting departments.
1t is sensible and practical in all
things. Able, Bright and Clean
is its motto, and that's the reason
it is the favorite paper for womai.
Each subscriber paying one year
in advance for the WEEKLY ARD
NoREITE, or two months IN a..
vance for the DAILY ARDMo2TfTE,
can secure Womankind one YER
for p cents.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27

If the Dawes commission bill be-
comes a law as it is almost sure TO
do, it will soon after devolve on
the people of Ardmore to elect a
full set of municipal officers. The
success of incorporation largel!
depends on the election of men t,
the various official positions wh'
will have higher motives thai
merely holding an Office for tn;
sake of furthering their personal
aims or political ambitions. We
will need men from mayor down,
who understand and appreciate
the needs of the city and the whole
people, men who will in the con
troll of affairs practice bnsines.
methods and such economy as viii
not burden the people with eX-
cessive taxation through an cX
travagant use of their executive
and legislative powers. The ARD
MOREITE may be deemed a little
premature. but without desiring to
count chic kenS before Matching We
suggest that our people begin to
east about for such timber as will
give us from the start a strong
municipal structure. Ardmore has
an abundance of good material
from which to select and it will be
highest duty of our people to first
nominate men for their fitness for
the several positions and then GET
out and elect them with the under
standing they are to be held 70 a
strict account of their actions on
the grounds that public office
is public trust.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27

HAVE our people ever stopped
to thing that there Is danger ahead
Of them in the way Of the passage
Of the bill repeating that part ct
the late territory court law giving
our courts full Jurisdiction after
September l, next. There are
silent forces from Texas and
Arkansas working to that end.
and the effect of their diligence is
seen in the favorable report Of the
bill from the Judiciary committee.
The strong argument these fellows
use j. that the territory counts
AN not handle the volume of
business and in support of their
logic they cite the crowded docketS
with present jurisdiction. In do
ing this they fail to admit that two
additional judges are now on the
bench and that at the present rate
of dispatch of business it will only
be very short while until this
argument will be without founda-
ion. This is a time for rebuttal
testimony and there is no time To-
be lost in producing it. The
Ardmore bar association opened
ihe ease Yesterday and now let
their action be followed by every
other association and the people
generally throughout the Indian
territory.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27
A VICTIM TO BARBARISM UN.
DER GOVERNMENT PRO
lection.

The Wichita Falls tragedy, the
full details of which were publish
ed exclusively in the Gazette yes
terday, was an Indictment written
in blood against the maintenance
of the semi barbarous system that
exists in the Indian territory by
the grace of the government at
Washington
Brave, generous, chivalrouS
Frank Dorsey is a victim to the
code of honor of our most
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27

South MCALEsTER j. soon To
nave a daily newspaper. 1t will
he issued from the Capital office.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27

Entered 1T the Postofiice at Ardmore as
second class mail matter, Nov -, '9S.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27

CONGRESS has no business to
interfere with Oklahoma's divorce
law, though it has the power. The
legislature attended to that and
framed the divorce measure, which
has been the means of bringing
much money to the territory
Ninety day divorces have not
lowered the moral tone Of the ter
ritory and the people have not
suffered from the divorce industry
Temperance mOralists should con
fine their work to temperance. and
not chase fancied vices without
their province. Guthrie Leader.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-02-27

THE ARDMoREITE is in no way
responsible for. nor will it pay
any debts contracted by any EN-
ployee of this office, unless ac-
companied by an order signed by
the business manager.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
BETTING IN NEW YORK.
Plenty of Bryan NOney-Anti-Bryan
Odds DMindle.

NEW YORK, November 2.-The scenes
I'm the corridors of the uptown hotels
we're exciting tonight, and the Fifth
Avenue, Hoffman, Imperial. and Bar
tholdi hotels were thronged with the par
tisans of Mckinley and Hobart, while
some Bryanites yentured within their
portals with the object of betting upon
the result. The Hoffman House lobby
corridor. and cafe were thronged with
wearers Of Bryan badges, who kept up
continuous shouting for their fayorite.
Al the Imperial there was a mixed as
semblage. and at the Barthodi the crowd
was thoroughly Bryanite. The betting
opened six to one that Bryan would be
defeated but along towards midnight four
and five to one were the best that could be
had. Colonel Harry Swords bet Sl,2OO to
500 on the result, taking the Mckinley
end. General Powell Clayton bet 5000
even with a Philadelphia man who would
not give his name that Mckinley would
receive 10000 ajo,fty in this state. There
were a number OF other small bets during
the evening in the Fifth-Ayenue Hotel
At the Hoffman House Mr.. w. r.
Hearst wagered $500 against 5000 that
Mckinley would not carry Michigan, In
diana, and Illinois.
BETS FEW IN CHICAGO.
CHICAGO. October 2.-It was a quiet
election eve in this city in the down
town thoroughfares, in the big hotels and
other resorts, for crowds politically in
clined and Of betting procliyites. The
hotel clerks and employees Of sporting re-
sorts agreed that bets were few and far
between and small. The people who nave
crowded such places tonight seemed TO
have gone home 10 get up early and vote.
Political arguments and speculation were
on the tongue of all citizens in pairs or
more. and there was a general desire that
tomorrow night would come and end the
suspense. Most of the money wagered on
the result of the election in various ways
had been put up before tonight, and the
odds on McKinley's winning remained the
same.
A wind-swept rain fell for short time
tonight, but bright day is predicted for,
Votins.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
OPEN ALL NIGHT.
WALL STREET TO OPERATE ON
THE ELECTION RETURNS.
INTERNATIONAL TOCK-DROKRRAGE.
Proceedings on the Pnrt
OF bankers and Bullion Dealers
They Won't Go Home TIL Morn-
ing.

NEW YORK. November Am enter
prising firm OF bullion dealers aid mem-
bers Of the New York Stock Exchange
to-day announced that they have engaged
temporary office at 10 east Twenty
third street for election-day. This ofice
will be opened at p. VI. tomorrow. and
VIII not be closed until the following
morning. The object is 70 enable theis
customers to take full and earliest ed-
vantage Of the result OF the election.
In its circular the firm says:
I'VE shall be IN close communication
with London. As soon as the returns will
warrant. We shall be prepared to. make
purchases and sales OF stocks on the Lon
don Exchange Immediately upon lts onen-
ing. This will place our customers IN n
position to Guy or sell In that market
and when the New York market onenx
they can sell or buy to cover their I.or-
don transactions. as the case may be.
by o'clock in the morning On tine for
the opening OF the London exchange, r.
Is expected that there will be enough
evidence 10 warrant either purchases or
sales In that market on the result OF tho
election"
LONDON OPENING s A. NJ
LATER-The London Stock Exchanges
Will open at o'clock Wednesday morn
ing' New York time. Nearly all the
foreign banking-houses and brokerage
concerns In New York having corres-
pondents in London will keep both their
main downtown Offices and their up-
town offices omen all night tomorrow
hish' TO receive orders to be executed in
the department for American securities
on the London exchange. Investors ana
spectators who desire to make transac-
lions based on the election results will
nave five hours in which to do so in Lon
don before the New York Stock Exchange
opens
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
A Remarkable Change.

Thomas p. Saunders. No Is Spring
street. says: Il have suffered and teen
inconvenienced greatly for the past five
years with disorders OF my kidneys and
bladder Tried many medicines To-Ka.
the Mexican Blood Tonic. has made a re-
markable change in my case. Am on tho
third bottle. and / know that one moro
will make complete cure" Large 81
bottle DC. Samples free. Office. No. 30J
east Broad street "To-Ka" stamped in
each genuine bottle. City orders de-
ff,o~oT
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
Richmond Exchange for woman,.
Work.

The rooms Of this very attractive es-
adjustment 300 east Franklin street. will
De opened Wednesday morning the attn
or November for a special sale OF their
EmDrolderies' Drawn Thread Work.
Crochet Mats, and Lovely Fancy Articles
OF every description; also, Pickles, Pre-
serves Jellies, Branded and Canned
Fruits at reduced rates II offers an
excellent opportunity to housekeepers 10
supply themselves for the coming season.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
New York Horse show.

Special inducement TO attend -Sll Rich
mond 10 New York and return. including
meals and staterOom. These rates apply
for Chesapeake and Ohio train leaving
Richmond 3.35 =. NJ. November eth. con-
Meeting with one Of the new ships OF tho
Old Dominion Steamship Company az Nor
folk. arriving New York at noon next
day. A charming trip for little money.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
Election Returns.

Slshy & Co. the Main-street brokers,
with their usual. "up-to-date" efforts 10
accommodate their patrons and friends
have arranged TO receive the election re-
turns over their private wires TO-
night. and will be pleased TO see those
taking an interest In the election at their
place Of business-No. ll0i IL east Main
street. ,,......
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
Election Returns by Telephone.

We are mkldng our arrangement 10 re-
ceive election returns Tuesday night di-
rect from the telegraph companies, to bs
furnished TO our subscribers free OF
charge.
Those who desire to receive the news az
their residences will please notify our su-
perintendent, Mr.. $. A. Duvall. I'm order
that direct connection can be made with
them.
RICHMOND TELEPHONE COMPANY.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03

Politics Responsible for Presence OF
Women on the Floor.

NEW YORK, November Z.-rhe Stock
Exchange presented quite a scene Of tx-
element and enthusiasm when the gong
sounded for the closing OF the board at
O'Clock. A large crowd OF members were
present, and were regaled with songs 10y
the glee club OF the Republican dry-goods
district. The glee club consisted OF four
members-two ladies and two gentlemen
and IL IS the first time IN the history OF
the Exchange that ladies have appeared
on the floor Of the Exchange. The club
sang a number Of national airs, and were
applauded 10 the echo. After each song
the enthusiasm reached a higher piicn,
and finally the brokers were fairly beside
themselves. waving hats and handker-
chiefs. amid wild shouts for "A gold-stand-
ard victory at the polls tomorrow. No
such scene at the Stock Exchange has
been witnessed in any previous presiden-
tiai campaign.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-11-03
ALLEGED INTERVIEW WITH LEE.
Alleged Confidence In Spanish
Troops and Spain.

MADRID. November 2-The Habana
correspondent OF FL Liberal cables what
purports TO be an interview had by him
with Cousul-General Lee prior TO the
departure OF the latter yesterday from
Habana for New York
According to dispatch. General Lee
said he was going TO make private visit
10 New York He added the correspond
ent saws. that he was confident that
the heroism Of Captain-General Weyler's
troops would speedily terminate the re-
hellion. He also eulogized the spirit
Spain had displayed.