New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-11-04
LIEUT.. .SWASH'S LOVE

*'In love. lieutenant!'' I cried, almost
starting from my scat, SO greatly had
he surprised me.
My friend Swash generated "a great
cloud of smoke in his pipe, and it SO en-
veloped his head that I could not see
his face, deeply flushed as it must have
been, and from the cloud of gray Eapor
came the gruH reply:
"Yes, in dove, confound it!''
'1Oh, how interestingly exclaimed my
wife, dropping her magazine and look
ing up at my friend and myself, whom
she had always previously declared to
be most uninteresting when we got to-
gether over our pipes.
1T is not very pleasant for me, " NUT
tered Swash. He was greatly embar-
raised and fixed bis eyes pensively on
the floor. q
"What is her name?'' ! asked.
II don't know" he answered
brusquely.
"Where does she liver ventnred my
wife.
Don't know that
"Where did you meet her?'' said l.
Cant tell that either, Dockboy.
Don't think me disagreeable If I could,
would gladly answer your questions.
Indeed, wish that / was able to-.
your case is truly a strange one, -
said. lis this young woman purely an
ideal, a mental creature Of your own?
You have been melancholy enough Of
late to have been signing for something
more material"
'She is not a mere creation Of my
imagination, replied the lieutenant
solemn]y. "She exists where don't
know. I saw her once great way off,
and she realized all my ideals of the
woman I would make Mrs. Swash. And
when saw her, for an instant though
it was cried to myself: Here, Swash,
is the woman you have dreamed of all
these years. That soft, intellectual face,
those soulful eyes, they belong to the
woman you have been waiting for.
Then she was gone, from where and
whittier I don't know, for can't tell
where saw her,
Swash sent beautiful ring of smoke
circling upward toward the ceiling, and
on it be fixed his eyes. watching it as it
swung away into the air, became thin
ner and thinner and finally disappeared,
and where it had been he kept his gaze
fixed so that it seemed that he was look
ing off into space, unconscious of our
presence. My wife glanced meaningly
at me, as though she suspected that our
visitors mind was either permanently
or temporarily deranged.
"Your case is really most remarka-
BILE, >" I said. Explain. Don't surround
yourself with such an air of mystery. It
would relieve you to confide your trou-
bles in US. Perhaps we could help you p"
Eyes, indeed,' cried my wife enthu-
siastically. "Perhaps we can help you. -
Swash started. "Ah, yes. Where did
I leave off? Perhaps you can-indeed,
yes''
''Perhaps we can assist you," re-
peated.
II think not, Dockboy," he said,
having recovered himself. "For my
case is truly remarkable. have swept
find her. have walked the streets day
and night, scrutinizing thousands Of
windows, and still have not a trace of
her. You see, I saw her under the most
peculiar circumstances, but see her I
did, and lost my heart. From salts
fed bachelor Of so I have been meta
morphosed into a lovelorn, disappoint-
ed, unhappy can't get word to fit
my case.
"Your use of a telescope is queer I
interrupted. 81 have suspected all along
that you saw her in the skies"
''You have guessed my secret,'' he
said mournfully. ut happened that one
night about a month ago was walking
down Broadway on the way home to
my boarding house, continued my
friend. "It seems to me that T had been
up here to see you. At Fortieth street,
as ill luck would have it, I ran across
one of those itinerant astronomers who
had set up a telescope on the pavement
and hung out a small sign calling at
tention to the fact that Saturn and its
rings could be seen for cents. Bust
ACoo 4OOACu uuAA allu h1uU VI p4UlCu
the poor fellow. 1t had never been my
fortune to gaze at Saturn and her rings,
SO I stepped up, gave him nickel and
fixed my eye on the end of the instru-
ment At first all was b]ackness. I
can't see any rings, said I. The lens is
not adjusted, replied the astronomer.
And with that he began to turn a lot
of screws. The blackness gave way to a
hazy, gray light, that suspected was
from theater across the street, but I
said nothing and strained my optic
nerve to make out the planet. It was
of no use. I withdrew my eye and COM
planned. The astronomer then discov-
cred that the telescope was pointed
wrong, and he looked through it, low
cred one end and gave it turn
my eye was at the instrument
again, but no change was visible in
the make up of the heavens beyond a
marked increase of light Once more
l complained, and the man declared
I must be nearsighted. Look harder, :
he said, giving the machine a little
twist. And I looked harder, but instead