davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
STEAL INVENTIONS.
Pirates in the World of Discovery Who
Thrive Upon Stolen Ideas.

Pirates in the World of Discovery Who
Thrive Upon Stolen Ideas.
AS Thomas 4. Edison watched the
pumping Of air from glass tube in his
laboratory day or two ago a man said
to him:
"You patent every little thing you
discover, don't you, Mr.. Edison?"
II do" said Mr.. Edison. "And do
you know why do it?"
II suppose you do it SO you will reap
the benefit of your discovery" was
the reply.
II thought you'd say that" said Mr..
Edison; and don't suppose you will
believe me when tell you II isn't so.
But it isn't so, nevertheless. discover
6 great many things that I would be
very glad to give to the public for
nothing, but 1 don't dare. I patent
these things to save myself from de-
Tending lawsuits. There are lot Of
sharks in this world who are continu-
ally on the lookout for new things, and
when one of them hears Of something
new he hustles to the patent office to
see If it is patented. If it isn't he
claims it as an original discovery and
files his claim. Then he will turn right
around and, like as not, begin suit
against the very man who invented the
things for making or using it. The
inventor will say: But discovered
this thing first; am the inventor He
Is referred to the patent office, where
he finds the official claim of original
invention. The fact that the papers are
filed long after he made his discovery
does not help him, for all the other man
does is to hire fellow to swear that he
made the discovery a month or two
prior to the date the inventor claims.
1t sounds ridiculous, probaly, but it
is fact, that there are often races be-
tween the inventors and these sharks
to reach the patent Office, the sharks
having had early information about
the inventors discovery. There are
many such races, and thousands of
dollars depend on each one. What l
say is literally true. patent things,
and no doubt, many other inventor
patent things, just to save defending
lawSuitS."-N, Y, Sun.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

According to the latest school CEN
sus in New York 10000 fewer children
were in attendance at the schools than
year ago.
Mgr. Agostino Caprara, the advo-
cate of the devil, has just died at Rome.
The duty of the advocatus diaboli is to
present the objections to the canoniza-
ton of any person proposed as new
saint and to cast doubts on his miracles,
while the advocatus Del takes the othes
side.
Rev. DR.. Jacob Cooper, professor of
logic in Rutgers college, is to be Mr..
Gladstone's American editor, or, rather,
editor in America. DR.. Cooper sug.
gested the Butler book to Mr.. Gladstone
and has revised numerous articles writ
ten by the grand old man. .
There were 114,439 fewer children
teing educated in French primary
schools than there were five years ago,
according to the last report of the min
lister of public instruction, while in the
five years the number of pupils in the
schools of the Christian Brothers near
ly doubled. The Brothers are now
teaching l, 365, 1886 children, with no aid
from the government. s
Rev. John Watson, M. A, min
lister of Seton Park Presbyterian
church, Liverpool, more widely known
as Ian Maclaren," has received from
the University of st. Andrews the
degree of doctor of divinity. 1.-THE most
ancient university" as the late LORD
Selborne once said, "iu land whose
citizens are distinguished in every
sphere in which distinction can be
gained" has happy way of antici-
pating the larger degree-granting in
situations in its recognition of merit.
The "Costers' Parson" is dead. It
is not too much to say that more than
any other Christian worker of recent
times Rev. A. B. Goulden succeeded in
breaking down the barrier of sullen
the London poor have found so difficult
to overcome. He won first the conf
dence and then the affections of an al
most unapproachable class, and the
Church of St Alphege, in Southwark,
became the temple of the most thor
oughly working-class congregation in
London.
An experience social" was held by
the young women of the Methodist
church in Coldwater, Mich, recently,
in which the usual conditions of things
was reversed, because the young wom-
en- were paid for the experience they
acquired, instead of themselves paying
steeply for the privilege Of getting it.
They shined shoes, tended babies, split
kindling wood, and one or two shaved
and cut the hair Of few fearless men
who attended the social.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
A TOuchy Ruler.

Emperor William is something of a
tartar when it comes to himself be-
ing discussed. Leze majesty in Ger
many Is curious thing. A man in
Cologne last fall was discussing the
American constitution. He had just
returned from America and was elo-
quent in our praise. Then going on to
discuss the kaiser, he began: "As for
the kaiser" and stopped, realizing
his danger. But he was overheard and
denounced to the police, arrested, tried
and sentenced to three months inn
prisonment for what he was evidently
going to say. At Danzig man was
called upon to appraise a plaster bust
of the empress. He said the bust was
not worth a mark. He shared the fate
of the first individual. Last summer
ut Bonn a man in a pleasure party said:
"What fool that kaiser is!'' He was
arrested and taken to the police sta
ton, but was able to prove that he had
been speaking of a man named Kaiser
instead of the emperor. A common
mode of concealing their views from
servants, who are perhaps, spies, is for
persons when talking of the kaiser to
call him Herr Muller. Speech was
freer under Louis the Great in France
200 years ago than in Germany to-day
under William.--Chicago News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16

agonizing exclamation: Forever morel
if haven't gone and put machine oil in
the sauce instead of lemon extractl"
The variety and intensity of express
sions on the faces around that table
would have furnished funny car
toonist with inspiration sufficient to
last a month. Some tried to laugh and
make light of the affair, but they were
those W no had eaten the last of the ma
chine oil sauce; some looked sorry and
sober and others looked positively i'll.
Then came q moan from the PANTRY
which caused general scramble in
that direction, and poor Aunt Martha
was dragged forth with her face in her
hands and her whole manner denoting
the deepest mental distress. She was
inconsolable and declared in the most
decided way that she would never be
able to look any of them in the face
again.
They went in the parlor and took
Aunt Martha with them, and by all
sorts of schemes tried to divert her
mind from the sauce question, but
without avail. She would break out
every few moments with self-con-
demnatory intersections and bitter lam
entations, and it was not until her COM
pany was leaving, with the most hearty
and sincere assurances of their enjoy
ment of her hospitality, that she could
summon even the faintest smile to her
acknowledgement countenance. As
soon as they were all gone she lost no
time in hunting up Matilda and giving
her a very warm and emphatic lecture
upon the reprehensible practice of leav-
ing bottles around where they did not
belong. my stars!" she cried, Sup
pose that machine oil had been poison?
Twould been used just the same, and
here we'd had a lot of cold corpses on
our hands! It's just mercy of Divine
Providence that it wasn't carbolic acid
or some such deadly stuff. My land!
but I'll never hear the last of it. tn
travel from Jerusalem to Jericho, and
they'll be calling their machine oil
Aunt Martha's pudding sauce, see If
they don't!"
When she had finished her lecture, and
Martha had a chance, the long-suffering
servant said, in her most correct and
vigorous English:
"Aund Mazda, didn't vas pud das
boddle in der bandry, neider! Id vas
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16

Patrick Casey, young Bridgeport
boy, in the middle of August last was
five feet high. He then began to shoot
upward, and kept at it until the middle
Of the following October, when he was
six feet three inches. This was an
average of quarter Of an inch day,
or nearly seven feet year. His age
then was II years. Casey was unable
70 Withstand this enormous strain
upon his constitution, and he died the
following November Before his death
his hair turned from red to jet black.
The physicians accounted for the
change OH the theory that the tincture
of iron that had given to him as tonic
had entered into his blood and acted
upon the hair. His case puzzled the
doctors, but no autopsy was held on the
remains, owing to the objections Of the
tamily.-Boston Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
AN ABSENT-MINDED MAN.
Why He Thought His Sandwich Was Dry
and Tasteless.


The absent-minded man took his seat
at the restaurant table, and, as usual,
buried his face at once in a newspaper.
A waiter placed bill-offare, q napkin
and knife and fork in front of him
and stood two or three minutes un-
noticed before asking:
what shall I bring you, STRIP"
whats that?' said the abscnt-mind-
ed man, starting up suddenly, not re-
Numbering what it was all about.
what do you want for lunch, sir?''
the waiter asked again.
"Oh! yes" said the absent-minded,
trying to collect his wits. Bring me a
cup of coffee and ham sandwich"
The waiter supplied the order and put
a large pasteboard check for it down
on tho table, the absent-minded man
continuing to read his paper. The
waiter went away to attend to the
wants of other people, and about Is
minutes later came back.
'Do you wish anything more?" he
asked, politely, !, s-p
YES" snapped the absent-minded
man, somewhat viciously. $50 and get
me a fresh ham sandwich. The one you
brought me was as dry as bone"
"Why, here is the sandwich brought
sir" said the waiter, pushing the plate
toward him. you've eaten the check
Chicago Times-Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16

your own selps. dink you vas make n
liddle on der knife sharper und you
didn't vas toog id oud yet"
Upon thinking the matter over care
fully, Aunt Martha found Matilda was
right, and she shouldered the whole
blame, and was further Inundated by
having to make due acknowledgement to
the girl, who, in the depth Of her sense
of wronged innocence, was saturating
her apron with tears. After fully atom
ing for her injustice Aunt Martha left
the kitchen to Matilda, with the assur-
ance that she would trust every thing to
her in the future.
The soothing hand of time gradually
healed over the terrible wound to Aunt
Martha's self-esteem, but she never
forgot her awful mistake, and regarded
the slightest allusion to it with severe
ly silent disapproval.-Chicago Satur-
day Evening Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
THE CITY OF THE DEAD.

They do neither plight nor wed
In the city Of the dead,
IN the city where they sleep away the
hours;
But they lie, while Ger them range
Winter blight and summer change,
And a hundred happy whisperings OF
flowers. t&H& @
No, they neither wed nor plight.
And the day is like the night,
For their vision is Of other kind than ours.
They do neither sing nor sigh
In that burgh of by and by,
Where the streets have grasses growing
cool and long;
But they rest within their bed,
Leaving all their thoughts unsaid,
Deeming silence better far than sob or
song. ~
Though the robin be awning.
Though the leaves of autumn march mil
lion strong. sz SIS.
There is only rest and peace ~.
In the City of Surcease j.. Id
From the failings and the wailings meath
the sun, 81 '..< -
And the wings Of the swift years
Beat but gently DER the biers,
Making music to the sleepers every one.
There is only peace and rest;
But to them it seemeth best,
For they lie at ease and know that life Is
done.
--Richard Burton. in Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16

presiding spirit,
abe was particularly precise, and espe-
cialIy in the supervision of the culinary
department. The kind-hearted yet Sc
we're old soul kept after Matilda, the
Kitchen girl, with a relentless persist
ency and a hawk-eyed vigilance which
often made the poor girl sigh for relief
from her surveillance, for anything
that was done amiss had to be careful
" rehearsed under the direct super
vision of her inspector-genera. AS a
result the culinary skill of Aunt Martha
came to be known and Dragged of
throughout her wide circle of friends
and acquaintance; and when anybody
wanted to speak in praise Of anybody
else's pies or buildings the invariable
verdict was: Most as good as Aunt
Martha's."
One evening a small but select COM
pany of Aunt Martha's friends was in
yited to take dinner with her, in celebra-
ton of her brothers birthday anniver-
sary, and she had given every detail
of the cooking thereof her personal at
tention. The soup, meat, ETC., had all
received her approval before being
placed before her guests, but when it
came to the dessert, that she insisted
upon preparing with her own hands.
She made one of her famous cabinet
buildings, as a treat for the occasion,
md there was general rejoicing among
her guests over the prospect of insert
ing their teeth in the much-vaunted
dainty.
The pudding had been passed ere 1t
dawned upon Aunt Martha that she had
not made any sauce for it. Such an
oversight would have been almost in
excusable on the part of anyone else,
and the dear old soul was honest enough
to declare that the error was even worse
for it's commission by herself. She was
compelled to confess that in her haste
she hud overlooked that important item,
but springing to her feet she exclaimed:
swat moment! I'll make sance in a
5iffy." and darting into the pantry she
rkirr iished around for hardly more than
moment and reappeared with look
of triumph in her eyes and bowl Of
translucent, notwithstanding sauce
in her hands.
"There!" she said, as she proceeded
to help each dish generously. 81 guess
we will have sauce if Aunt Martha is a
little forgetful. don't see, for the life
of me, how I came to forget it; but law!
I'm getting old and careless"
This candid acknowledgment brought
q sly smile to the faces around the table,
and to thoroughly convince their good
hostess of their willingness to forgive
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
THlRTY-ElGHT YEARS OVER 100.
Time Seems to Have No Effect on This
Man, Feoderovitch Kouzmin.

Time Seems to Have No Effect on This
Man, Feoderovitch Kouzmin.
Ivan Feodorovitch Kouzmin is, ac-
cording to the Russian authorities, the
oldest man in the world. This seems
ords are there to show that Ivan first
saw the light of day on October 81 (old
style), 1857, which would make him 1873
years of age next birthday. One hun
bred and thirty-eight years of age!
Late last September Gospodin Lo-
monossof, a member of the Mos
kovski Viedomosu editorial staff,
happened to stop at wayside
inn near the village of Dukova,
in the government of Kostrama, and
there met an aged son Of Ivan and be-
came interested. Having satisfied
himself that Ivan Kouzmin, for he IL
WAS, was telling the truth about his
age and having obtained some data as
to the aged peasants probable birth
place, Lomonossoff set to work to dis
cover, if possible, the entry of his bap-
tiSm. rE.E@B u E'f'
This required an unusual amount OF
labor and research, but finally the
church where this ceremony took place
was found and the archives contain
ing the entry were brought to light.
There was the full name and the date,
and, curious 10 relate, an addenda by
the officiating priest to the effect that
God had blessed the child with the holy
sign of the cross beneath the right
shoulder blade, and thus marked him
for his own. A subsequent examine
ten of old VANS body revealed this
peculiar mark, growth of warty sub
stance, slightly resembling the Greek
cross seen on the cupolas of all
churches of the eastern orthodox faith.
So there could be no mistake about 1t!
Ivan Feodorovitch Kouzim was 1877
years of age! The records showed it.
and his own words told the story still
more eloguently. Here was a veteran,
who, though entirely illiterate and
barely able to understand more than
the requirements of a PEASANTS daily
routine, could, in his lucid moments, re-
call the happenings of a century ago.
Ivan and his son, it may be said, very
quickly benefited by this sudden bound
into fame.-N. Y. World.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
SPANS POLITICAL PRISONERS.
The Tortures Inflicted Upon Suspects In
the Old Moorish Town of Ceuta.

The Tortures Inflicted Upon Suspects In
the Old Moorish Town of Ceuta.
From time to time the horrors OF
slave-dealing and the barbarism with
which prisoners are still treated in GER
tain parts of the world have been ex-
posed to the public. There remains
yet, however, a spot within 20 miles OF
English territory where such terrible
sufferings and hideous fortunes are I'M
dergone by human beings as 70 be al
most incredible. This is at Ceuta, an
old Moorish town in Morocco surround
ed by chain of fortresses which make
it almost impregnable.
The place was built by the Moors in
045, on the side of the ancient mountain
Abyla. All the fendish ingenuity of
which they were masters was exerted
to invent and construct as many soli-
tary dungeons and horrible torture
chambers as possible. Just as it was in
those dark ages, with as many improve
ments as were added before the Span
iards took possession in 1910, so it ~
to this day.
The town to Spain is what Siberia Is
to Russia, but infinitely more horrible.
Here political prisoners and persons
whom the government suspects are
transported. AS rule the suspects"
are prominent and respectable citizens,
who, however, have committed no
crime, and against whom no charge can
be brought. No suspicious papers
have been found in their possession:
they have no secret weapons; they have
neither made rebellious speeches nor
encouraged instruction. t0t r@ s3&I
Since they have committed no crime
they cannot be tried in the orthodox
manner, nor can they be executed.
Nevertheless, they are dangerous
they must be put out of the way.
Therefore, they are spirited to dun
geon in Ceuta, where they will be safe.
The dungeons are hewn out of the solid
rock beneath the fortress, and run in
" tiers so or 80 feet deep. They measure
ON an average eight feet square. The
approach is made through the floor Of
the fortress, down long, winding stairs.
The dungeons line either side of damp
alleys, the only openings being small
hole about foot from the ground.
1t is through this hole, enlarged for
the occasion, that the prisoner enters
his cell, followed by armed keepers
and q blacksmith. He is thrown on his
back and chains are welded from his
ankles into the solid rock. The keepers
then leave him and the hole is blocked
up with fresh masonry. The dungeon
is reeking with damp, is infested with
vermin and absolutely dark. Scanty
scraps of food are occasionally passed
through the opening by the keepers.
For a whole year the prisoner is left
to rot in the dungeon without seeing a
human face. Naked and starved he
crouches in the darkest corner, await
Ing death. At the end of a years time
the keepers and blacksmith again enter
the cell to see whether the captive is
still alive, and that the chains are in
good condition, possibly to add fresh
ones.-Chicago News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
AN AMATEUR VOLCANO.
Eruption of Mount Olympus CWash.)
Traced to Burning Ignite.

wv aSns)
Traced to Burning Ignite.
The Mount Olympus sensation which
lately scared the good people of Wash
ington state with the idea that vol
cano was in active operation in that
great mountain, has been brought to
q sudden end by the return of an ex-
ploring party to find out what was the
matter.
1t seems that earth in that vicinity
is interlaid with veins of Ignite coal.
Forest trees have fallen into the crew
ices and gorges, enormous quantities
of leaves have drifted down upon these,
and by some means fires have been
started which have communicated with
the coal veins. Great jets of steam and
burst Of smoke frequently come from
the sides of the mountain and these
confirmed the theory that there was
a genuine volcano in operation. It
seems that the heat has melted the
snow which has formed a perpetual
white cap at the summit. This, trick
ling down the sides of the mountain in
streams, has fallen upon the fire, which
accounts for the great volume of steam
The puffs of smoke and explosions are
thought to be caused by the ignition
of collections of natural gas.
This condition of affairs naturally
leads to the inquiry whether good
many volcanic eruptions might not be
traceable to burning Ignite and the
| explosions Of large quantities of con-
fined gases Re that IA il NAV Moupf
Olympus is seething mass of burning
coal, and the volcano scare amounts
| to nothing.-N. Y. Ledger.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
Homeseekoasn Excursions to Kansas and
Nebraakn.

On April It'll, 21st and May 5th, 1895,
Homeseeker's Excursions will be run from
Missouri River points, and territory West
of Chicago, Peoria and st. Louis, to stations
In Kansas and Nebraska, at one fare, plus
500, for the round trip. All who can should
take advantage of the cheap rates and In
spect the most productive corn lands in the
United States, which are for sale, by the
Union Pacific Railway Company, at from
so to 5000 per acre, on ten years time,
only lilo down.
Remember that the Kansas corn crop for
1895, with 100000 acres in cultivation,
yielded over 2O1, 100000 bushels, the esti-
mated value of which is over $40, 600, 900, be-
ing s7,000,000 more than annual output OF
gold in the United States.
Those taking advantage of the excursions,
should take receipts for all railroad fare,
and the portion paid over Union Pacific
lines, will be refunded upon purchase of
300 acres. Information regarding rates
can be ascertained from the nearest railroad
agent
For maps and pamphlets descriptive of the
lands, write to B. A. MCALLAsTER, Land
Commissioner, Omaha, Neb.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16

her they all started in on the pudding
with n vim that bespoke previous
knowledge of its qualities.
The first taste had queer effect on
the whole company. Some dropped
their spoons and raised their napkins,
some paused with perplexed faces, and
Others made brave effort to go on with
the pudding. Then Aunt Martha her
self tasted, then she smelled, then
glancing wildly about, she cried:
"Land sakes! What is it? DO you find
anything wrong with the pudding?"
There was no concealing the fact that
they did, but no one had the courage to
make reply. Their looks were enough,
however, and without further inquiry
Aunt Martha made bolt for the pantry,
from whence moment later came the
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
A Spring Trip South.

On April and 81. and May 8, tickets
will be sold from principal cities, towns
and villages Of the north, to all points on
the Louisville IL Nashville Railroad In
Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida
and portion of Kentucky, at one single
fare for the round trip. Tickets will be
good to return within twenty-one days, on
payment of 50 to agent at destination, and
will allow stop-over at any point on the
south bound trip. Ask your ticket agent
about it, and If ne cannot sell you excur-
sion tickets write to @. P. Atmore, Cen
eral Passenger Agent, Louisville, KY, or
j. X. Ridgely, N. w. P. A., Chicago, I'll.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-04-16
lndisDensable.

ST don't think L want a cyciUpedia,"
said the woman of the house, "but il
you have got any nice book for chill
dren-"
''Great Scott, madaml" exclaimed the
unblushipg book agent. eve use this
cyclopedia for children's book at our
houses altogether. They sit on it AZ
the table."-Chicago Tribune.