The Universalist. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1884-1897, 1896-03-28
OVERRIDING IN KINDNESS.

my DEAR" the other day said lady
to young relative, who was insisting
that delicate mother should not wear
herself out by undertaking some work
on which the mothers heart was set,
"you tire her great deal more by your
opposition than she would tire herself
by doing as she wishes to-" 1t was true,
though it was hard for the loving daugh-
ter to understand why. Youth is eager,
impetuous and strong of will, and often,
in it's very beautiful and unselfsh i'm
pulsiveness, it wounds those it would
help. One has to arrive at certain
place in life to comprehend that the
largest kindness which may be done to
any one is, in nine cases out of ten, just
to let her alone. Especially in the deal
ings of the young with the old, of grown
up sons and daughters with the parents
who stand generation 10 front of them,
there is need of caution, for even kind
ness may fail of its good intention if it
be overdone.
Everybody has noticed and many have
smiled at the quick sensitiveness of the
aged where their acceptance OF aid in
things smaller or greater seems to i'm
ply falling off of power. Probably the
real reason why people as a rule object
to growing old, and cling desperately to
the retreating skirts of youth, is be-
cause, little by little, age does grow con-
scious Of infrmity, age feels that it is
pushed from its position in the activities
of life and forced to stand aside. When
age is still far away, a mere shadow in
the distance, there are those who fore
cast the future and rebel against it's
limitations, and they are more than or
dinarily ready to resist when their jun
iors lay, though softly and sweetly,
stumbling blocks in their way. 1t makes
them little difficult to get on With,
and they are brusquer and more prickly
than they would be but for the constant
endeavor to hold their own, which has
the effect of all struggle, and toughens
and hardens the one who conquers, so
there is little tarnish on the gold of vic
tory.
Yet this is better than the too easy
giving up. the relinguishing of privilege.
the loss of standing ground which we
at fifty when she should have been in
the splendor and prime of her years,
abandon her appropriate chair Of state
in the family councils simply because
her strong willed children were too much
for her. Their overzeal in kindness ef-
faced her as inevitably as if they had
treated her with rudeness or neglect.
In the latter alternative, indeed, she
would have had more scope for growth.
for the wind and the sun and the dew Of
heaven are better for the rooted plant
than is the breath of the dollhouse.
Few human beings are improved by con-
slant living in a glass case, and when
human being ceases to grow and develop,
he or she then, and not till then, be-
comes past usefulness and a cumberer
OF the ground. BY what right, by what
excuse, do children ever thus impose an
arresting kindness on their parents?
Generally speaking, to be very plain
about it, children should not interfere
too much with the mothers freedom of
action. 1t is Sunday morning. you
surely are not going to church." says
Jane; "in this weather" adds Elizabeth;
and the church will be as cold as barn,
and you will get your death of grippe or
pneumonia" supplements Katharine. till
among them they either persuade the
poor lady to yield against her inclina-
ton, or SO excite her by their well-meant
resistance to it, that she is in no frame
of mind to enjoy the sanctuary.
All the while it has never occurred to
one of the girls that her mother knows
her own preference, has sufficient COM
mon sense to take precautions against
the weather, and has a perfect right to
choose her course and act with indie
pendence. | know instances where the
affectionate despotism of daughters him
ders their mothers from taking a share
in church work for which they are emil
nently qualified, and absolutely ages and
invalidates the elder women in lines
where they would be most valued and
most useful.
This is not plea against considerable
sweetness and gentle treatment on the
part of children where old people are
concerned; it is a small word by way of
reminder to those who do not know or
comprehend how too much zeal in sim
cere, well-meant kindness may be as de
leterious as it's opposite. Not always do
age and youth see things alike. The