The San Francisco call., 1896-06-28

fond fathers, babies in their arms,
throughout the silent p watches of the
night.
It is respectfully submitted that the true
''freak story" has in these steps, if they
could be piled one upon another, yarn
which could reach so high that no one can
easily surpass it and that is the ultimate
aim of the "freak story" to go so far that
no one can possibly go further. The sub
ject of piled up footsteps cannot be ex-
hausted in one article, but in limited space
some hints may be thrown out to meas
urably guide the Unsuitable seeker for the
unusual In some slight degree.
First, concerning the people on the
earth who are qualified to take steps of
differing lengths. There are 1854 600 in
Oceanica, 33,342, 700 in South America,
SO, 1856 084 in North America, 1853, ,499, OH in
Africa, 357, S51, $50 in Europe, 825, ,954, 900 in
Asia, 11,170 in the polar regions The
grand total is 1, ,479, III, 9S1. The exactness
of these figures is vouched for by statis-
tical publication. Of these, according to
popular belief there is only one nation on
the earth whose footsteps can be approx
mately measured. The notable exception
is in Spain, where there are 2S,911. 500 per-
sons Gncluding the Spanish colonies), who
have been taught to walk Spanish"
The most lively men on earth are bill
collectors, and the number of these NAV
be estimated only approximately. They
can, however, be safely placed at 5000, 900,
who are lodged and told to "call again.
by at least 120,0000O0. The steadiest trav-
elers are the letter-carriers, who are all the
world over at least 50GO 900. The great
army of men and women walking with
crying babies number at least 10 900, 900,
who step more according to circumstances
than by fixed rule. The messenger
boys vary; the cashboys ditto; the fire.
men walk up anc down ladders more than
on level perhaps, the policemen make it
difficult to estimate their mileage by walk
ing around so many corners, soldiers vary
according to the digestion of the Emperor
or Gear or other ruler.
Poets who are not ''doing time" in
treadmlll are an uncertain quantity.
Schoolboys also befog the calculation by
the celebrity with which they run around
bases at baseball and the comparative
slowness with which they "oo errands"
The professional tramps have their sched-
ule seriously interfered with by farmers
dogs.
Shall kicks count as steps2 That is to
be discussed by the accurate freak-story-
writer. There are in the Uniled States
"a 434, 900 milking cows which have to
be kicked at least once per day on an
average. There are ballet girls who make
a variable record kicking at chandeliers or
silk hats. Then the football players and
the suburban comm ittees.
To show how difficult it will be to make
out mathematically accurate freak-story
on these lines the following facts are
quoted:
1t takes twice as long to come home
from a church social as it does to go.
An essential accompaniment of "barn-
raisings" in New Jersey is stapple- Jack" :"
and in Connecticut hard cider.
The speed of the fleeing frontiersman
regulates the pace of the noble red man at
a EMBARRASSING"
Thomas Bard of MumfordviIle, KY,
stepped from the Green River railroad
bridge, distance to the water below of
130 feet, in 1881, and Steve Brodie made an
equally phenomenal step at the East River
bridge, in New York. This does not affect
the general average of the people who
dwell on 'the Steppes''
1t is an open question whether bicycle
riding consists of steps or pushes; also
whether slide between bases is step.
The distance over which policeman