The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1896-01-09

penses and furnish her a new husband
VI make over to her certain payments. "
But suppose" said I, after the
man is married of, there develops some
hidden trait, some i~diosyncrasy that
causes unhappiness, but not separation,
what do You do then?"
Such cases., " replied the president
Of the Lovers Guarantee company. ARE
rare, but of course they do occur. In a
case like this we examine into the cause
Of the difficulty, and If the man be
wrong the fact that he is under bond
gives us a power over him, and generally
we bring him to terms"
But" said !, suppose the woman
in the case is wrong?"
"This," explained the president, lis
extremely unfortunate. az we have no
means Of reaching her direct, having no
power over her. We cam, however. ad.
wise the man what to do, generally with
most felicitous results. As a rule, these
differences come from ignorance on both
sides. Where they are extreme and q
separation is advisable we have in our
employ the best lawyers. and divorces
are obtained in the most private way.
1--WE have in our employ one Of the
most eminent ph~renologists in the ooun.
try, who examines the heads Of all ap-
plicants. Our head physician, who gave
up q large practice to come with rs, has
a growing staff Of assistants, and these
look carefully into the physical condi-
ton Of the applicants. You may depend
upon it that when an applicant has sue
cessfully run the gauntlet we lay out for
him he will make a gooi husband. We
advise all young married people to have
homes Of their OWL, no mstter how
humble, and have a hone bureau through
which a member can obtain advice on
the most desirable way to live, the best
locations, q list Of houses and apart
ments and the lowest rents. By this
means we are enabled to make an ar
rangement with landlords 30 that our
patrons can obtain certain discounts and
privileges Were you thinking-ahem
of entering upon the new lifea"
"Oh, no." I replied modestly. II am
already married. and" I added laugh
ingly, "Idon't suppose cases Of this sort
come under your jurisdiction"
Indeed they do, replied the presi.
dent Of the Lovers Guarantee company.
1--WE have lately formed a department
for the benefit Of married people and
find it to be o great success. For a small
sum yearly, in advance, we furnish To-
dies with advice as to the proper man
agernent Of husbands and direct them
how to act in special emergencies. For
instance, should a husband be called
away too frequently at night ON bust.
ness. imbibe too freely-I may say this
is m Of Dur greatest obstacles - or
should he become i'll natured or non
tractable, we tell her what to do"
lis this department secret?"
mot at ALL" he responded. Indeed
we invite publicity. Such is our repu-
tation that the mere fact made known
to o man that his name is on our books
will have o tendency to bring him to
his senses"
my dear sir" said I warmly as I
xOoo W 'BOs JOu uO OCOhP1AouAu8 y
great work. and I am glad I called in to
see you" Then, thanking him, I was
about to depart when he stopped me
oourteously.
Excuse me" he said, "but would
You mind giving me your manner ! al
ways like to take down the names Of all
our friends"
Certainly not, " said I. II would
just as soon as not, as it is just possible
I may want to advise with You myself
later on. Ny name, sir, is Witherby."
A bright and engaging smile came
over the face Of the president Of the Low
ers' Guarantee company. "Ah, yes, in.
deed" he exclaimed. -. Scott Wither-
by, isn't itT"
That's It," I replied, dumfounded.
q lump rising in my throat "How the
mischief. sir, did You learn my manner"
Every easily" he responded cheer
fully as he reached over into his desk
and handed me pamphlet B l46. on If
You Are a Husband, Don't Be q Crank"
Your wife was In here only yester.
day.. Scott Witherby In New York
World