The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-05-14

have felt so sure that all teachers will
go to heaven that have not been very
particular about going to church every
Sunday. and have taken to studying
works on pedagogy instead Of the
Bible. Again, We are gently reminded
that teacher should possess every
virtuous trait found in the heavens
above or on the earth beneath, togeth-
er with the qualities that help to make
the poet, the artist, the philanthropist.
the politician, the mother. the sage. the
philosopher and the disciplinarian. All
to be procured and cheerfully given
for about $55 a month.
Away up at the top Of the list of vir-
tues, patience is presented, smiling as
blandly as though she were perched
upon the summit Of the traditional
monument and We were personifying
grief at the bottom. Doubtless the
lines, Patience is q virtue; get 1t II
you can. 'Tis seldom In a woman. but
never in a man." first suggested the
advisability of always paying men
profession, for the same amount OF
labor.
The men have to work 80 much
harder to acquire patience.
Another discouraging thing connect
ed with teaching is that people expect
you to know go much. When they can
not answer questions themselves, they
say, go ask her. She Is q teacher and
she ought to know" OF course you
don't know, and then you feel about
an inch high.
I do not care 90 much now as once
did. Not long ago met a man who
had assisted In compiling many learn
ed works, and was then engaged upon
the revision of a wellknown encyclo-
paedia. ! approached him trembling
and with a fluttering heart I conf
IDENTIFY expected him to Immediately
and flora of Central Africa, or to in.
sist upon my giving In exact inches
the height Of the mountains in the
moon. Much to my relief, he began
the conversation by saying. rs 1t hot
enough for you?" Since then my ig-
norance has not seemed SO appalling.
If a man who knows an encyclopaedia
from A to u descends to asking If 1t Is
hot enough, why should l care II an
occasional question or two proves too
much for my poor intellect
There are various other matters that
distress the soul Of the teacher. !
shall refer to but one more, and that
is the model conversations carried on
between the well-conducted pupils in
the educational journals and their
teachers. They run somewhat a. fol-
lows:
Teacher-Point to objects in the
school room that are north OF you.
south. east, west.
John-The clock Is north Of me; the
door, south: the teachers desk, east,
and the picture Of Do4enhausen's Ma
donna west. OF u.
Teacher-In what kind Of . country
Is the little brown babyf
Mary-It Is in q warm country.
Teacher-In what direction do We
hnd warm countriesf
Freddie-They are found 70 the
south.
Teacher-If one goes north. what
kind Of Q country would one find3
Jennie-One would md . cold ooun-
Teacher-Do you think the people Of
that country could live without
clothes?
Charles-They could not.
Prearranged conversations with pu-
pills, like those found in the Guide to
Polite Behavior" are all right so long
as you receive the answer you plan for.
but in real life they have q habit OF
switching off into unexplored regions.
A teacher of my acquaintance was
catechising class Of small boys IN
mental arithmetic. Said she, III one
apple costs four cents, what will three
cost?"
Pupils, in concert, Twelve cents"
"Well," she continued, encouraging
ly, land what will they cost at two
cents apiece?"
THAT is right" said the teacher, pc
slowing upon them an approving
one cent?"
"Rottenl" yelled Q small boy. whose
reply evidently cana from the depth
Of his experience
Upon another occasion, during a
reading lesson, reference was made 70
Pompeii "Havs any Of you ever
heard anything about that city?'
an and its @ owner said, Eyes. / have; Il
was destroyed q long time ago By vio.
| lent eruptions Of saliva"
In another school, there was once an
irrepressible young miss, who had
way of amusing herself by sticking hat
pins into the boys who sat within arm &
reach. The prodded ones naturally
objected to this pleasant pastime and
made complaint. The teacher kept
the delinquent after school and rennon-
strated with her upon the error OF heI
ways. She ended her discourse by
saying severely, "How would you like
to have some one stick hat pins Into
you"
Said the unregenerate one, tranquil.
ly, II think that Is case where 1t II
] better to give than to receive"
Thus, you see. the best-laid conver.
saticns, like the schemes of mice and
men, gang aft a-gley," and the poln'
which the teacher sought SO earnestly
| TO make becomes so DETECTED that its
recovery, except in an exceedingly d.
lapidated condition, 10 well-nigh hope