davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
VARIETIES.

When a young man proposes to a
girl she is usually about as much sur
prised as Il Presidential candidate is
when he is officially notified of his
nomination.
Tommy Observation-Disclosures, is
this hair oil in this bottle -
mercy, no That's glue. -
Tommy OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
why can't get my hat off"
Mrs. Cumso-"Is the hominy good,
my dear p
Mr.. Cumso (grufIiy)-"I es, for hogs
Mrs. Cumso (sweetly)--"Then, pray,
let he help you to some more"
II wonder why so many telephone
operators are wOmen,n said the man
who cultivates an idle curiosity,
Il don't know" replied the misap-
thrope, unless it's because the occu-
patton puts them i'll position to have
the last word every time"
Didn't Peters contribute to the
church fund.-
Not so that you could notice it,"
Wen. remember hearing him saw
that he would be one of the very first
to PINT ms hand IN his pocket
well, it's there YETI
This is strange world. said poor
devil relating his last adventure, II
had not been able to get ANYTHING TO
eat for two DAYS. Finally, in despair.
| attempted 10 drown myself in the
Seine. 4 fisherman saved me. He
received p francs reward for his deed.
and I-got nothing
Whipping a frightened horse is
the most senseless and brutal thing
imaginable. A slight touch with
the whip ut the time. to avert atteu-
ton from the cause of fright, is the
most that should be done.
In every department of know
ledge noble men and women are bear
ing aloft the torch of science to make
light the dark places of earth for the
benefit of man; but it will still be q
long time before human wisdom can
make out why change of weather is
bad for corns.
There are giantPsses in these days,
it seems. \ Southern paper in de-
scribing the burning of a dwelling,
mentions the rescue by way of Il
window of the servant girl fifteen feet
in height"
"They say old Smith never sub
scribed for newspapers"
Never
Where is he now?'
BLOWN out the gas in some hoteI%'
Yes said Miss Coffin, II always
congratulated myself that [ should
improve my name when / married,
and here I'm going to become Mrs.
Toombs."
She-'John, will you get up and
light the fire - He-"Maria, don't
keep making incendiary speeches."
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
STHI,ITLfETIC MRS. DOBBS.

| re
Ii we were called upon to describe
tf; Dopns' we should, without hest
1alloI' can Ler syihPathlzlng Wo-
Iil'n' Nopouy was troubled with any
ma!ady she had not suffered. She
knew all about it by experience, and
| cotiid Syinpatllize with them from the
bottom OF her heart.
Bob Turner was a wag, and when
one DAY he saw Mrs. Dobbs coming
tlollS the road towards ms house, he
knew, III the absence OF his wife, that
IL ne should ma De caI!ed upon to entertain
tieI' SO ne resolved 10 play IL little Oh
Cne soop woman ABUNDANT store OF
syIlPatny'
IIastlIy procuring large blanket,
ne "I%pL'eu himself up III IL, ana
'ii W. himself lIs's,I on d sofa
why, Soou gracious Mr. turner,
'lIe you Ill! asked MRS. DobDs,as she
saw ms po5IIion:
-. Oh, ufeadiuiIy, groaned the
IMAGINARY Invalid.
what IS the natter"
On, q great many things. First
ana foremost got congestion of the
Dr an 1919,
Lllat dreadful sighed Mrs:
- 1 citihe pretty near dying OF
~ Ven Yen Years TO come next spring.
" IaL eise!
,,Dropsy,, again Sroaned Bob.
Ihere can sympathize with you.
! was t[ :, WIN IT, out finally got
over .s[ II. ,-,.
NNeiuraisla' contInueG BOB.
r, Nooouy can teii' Mr.. Iurher, what
l We sullefeG from neuralgia. It's an
"W ..Gi complaint:
..R RhetIillatislh' ADDED BOD.
hes; Ihat pretty nkely to go along
WIN ..mI neuralgia: III dlu WIN me.
mooIhache, suggested Bob.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
-fUNTIE SEPTIC.

Once upon midnight CHEEKY, at his work and
never weary,
Sang that happy little microbe who torments
tine editor.
Suddenly there came Il tapping, as of someone
softly rapping,
Seeking for admittance gently, softly tapping
DER and DER.
And the microbe smiled compliment, Ills my
friend and fellow-borc
Tapping at the chamber door"
But there stood within the portal such fern
us any mortal
Would have g;lZed on with delight, and Rugged
unto his BOSOM core:
Then the naughty microbe started, and his
valor quick departed.
who are YOU he cried in terror. Tell me,
tell me, l implore.'
80, am your Auntte Septic, whom you never
met before
Merely this and nothing more
Then this little microbe faltercd, and his joy
Gus mien it altered,
As he felt determination in his Auntie's grasp
full sore:
And he said with agitation, Can't | seek an
other station,
Where l may pursue my studies, and all the
mysteries explore Z"
But his Auntie as she clasped him, even closer
than before,
Gently murmured, 'Nevermore.'
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
REWARD OF $500!
Mice of the County Commissioners

Bel Air. Md July 10. 1896.
4 REWARD OF FIVE DOLLARS will be
paid for the arrest and conviction of any per
son or persons dcuosit.ng brush, tin cans or
rubbish of any kind in the water courses, or
along the banks OF any of the public roads of
this cot lty. By order of
ivI7 ESQ. !. FINNEY. Clerk.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
V-----
MILKING NJ PLAIN.

"This here piece in the paper makes
use of the word 'superHuity' several
times" remarked the man who was
sitting on the empty soap box. Now,
what do you take superiority to be-"
Il dunno's l kin exactly tell it.
answered the man with Irvine suspen-
ders. But l sense it all right
enough
kin ye illustrate it?''
"M'yes, reckon | kin. Superiority
is a good deal the same thing ez fell
ler's wearin necktie when he's got
full beard.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
pnetical.
WRITE HEX EVERY Day.

WRITE HER EVERY DAY.
Comradc, have you got a wife:
Write her every day.
Half the JOY Is out her life
when you are away;
Write her from the speeding car:
Never mind the thump and jar
Which Your loving letters Thar
Write her every day.
You are i'll the stirring world,
She ut home must stay.
Conscious you are being whrled
Farther yet away.
There she 5 watching, waiting, liSt'ning,
With heart beating, with eyes g!st'n ming,
Quick to eaten the postman's glistening-
Write her every day.
Would you some kind service render,
sweet attention y!
Then Il loving letter send her
When you are away;
Would you all her home life brighten?
Would you all her sorrows tighten?
Bonds of sweet affection tighten?
Write her every day.
And however far you wander,
| am sure 'twOuld pay,
Could you see her read ana ponder
Over what you say;
Have your tablet in your grip,
Fountain pen charged to the tip,
Then don't let the chances slip
Write her every day.
If you chance to gush little
And perhaps you may
She will grant you fun acqutUal,
Ii is safe TO say;
Write her genuine love letters,
anew loves letters;
These are Cupid'S best ubetrers-
Write her every day.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
CHARLES E. HoRNgERoER,
OSnu RENS0N MD
a GARD.

| wish to say to the patrons of Baldwin
Station residing near Upper X Roads and Jar
rettsviiIc that their horses will be cared for al
this place the same us when hotel was open.
l7iu SAMUEL Walk ms.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
Save Your Money.

One box of TUFTS Pills willsave
many dollars in doctors bills
Theywillsurely all diseases
ofthe stomach, liver or bowels.
No Reckless Assertion
For sick headache, dyspepsia,
malaria, constipation and bilio-
usness, a million people endorse
TUFTS Liver PILLS
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
CULTURE AND HAPPINESS.

Life is not only what we make it,
but it is very largely, what we think
it is. There is no law, unfortunately,
against people making themselves
wretched. There is a theory that
culture makes for unhappiness; that
the more cultivated an individual is,
the more sensitive he is TO physical
discomfort or mental troubles. \
superficial culture doubtless increases
ones sensibilities in various ways
without producing q corresponding
increase of resources; but the deeper
culture supplies these, and enables
its possessor to bear a thousand trials
Tor to discover means to surmount
them, OF which most people would
never have dreamed.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
VOL. XLI---NO. 40.

girl, said Mr. Cameron. when Joan
called Oh him i'll the morning; land L
shall have great pleasure IL telling
Mrs. Peter BIttersby what has be
come of the money to her brother-in-
laws credit at the bank.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
THE EGISAND INTELLIGENCER.
Is Published f2cery Fridayby
FRANK E. GORRELL.


Transient IdrertiSentc ntS.-Onc Square, s
insertions or less $50. Each subsequent in
sertion % cents. Longer advertisements III
the same proportion. y space equal to six
lines makes square. Figure work double
price.
Obituaries and Personal Communications
will be inserted at 10 cents per line.
Yearly Advertisements at Special Rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
WOULD MIKE MN WICKED.

But, pa, protested the Baptist
deacon's boy, haven't you always
taught me that it was wicked for any
one to dance"
We'll, what if l have:" his father
sternly said.
"Oh, nothiug.' sobbed the boy,
'onIy can't help it if you cut me
with that switch
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-12-04
Jos,u Bo;%inuO's Horse Fly Liquid IN
the Best.

" 81, genuine with ut our signature On each
can, john Bolgiano" Beware of false imita-
tons We manufacture nothing but the best.
Drives flies and insects of all kinds oil horses
COWS, dogs, &c. Pint. 25c.; quart, soc; gallon,
lSI.5O We also manufacture J. b. House Fly
LIQUID Drives mosquitoes, reaches. ants,
ich.rIghrs. ar' all other insects out of the house
ipcraaulut.y. Bottles, oc and 25c.; pint, Zoe;
Guart, 81 10 The John Bolglano 90, Manu-
facturers, ii East Lombard St, Baltimore, Md.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08
Tie 12ih y. j. Meets.

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: j see IN re-
cent issue history of the llth and 23d N J.,
also brief account of the 4th Ohio, showing
their loss and number OF engagements, which
the records on file in the Assistant Adjutant-
Generals Office show, with one exception tthat
of the 18th n. j., to have lost more than any
other New Jersey regiment When 4 see an
account of any troops connected with the Sec
ond Corps (Hancock's 81 feel like saying. Com
rade, YOU are a member of our particular
family" and that noble Carroll stood, like
Smythe, OF Third Brigade. Second Division,
Second Corps, very high in the estimation of
their commands They were grand men, aud
no man ever drew "A saber who had the con H.
denee and love of their commands to greater
extent. Ny purpose is only TO send some ac-
count of the % Reunion of our regiment not
to 90 into the merits of any particular regi-
ment or Department.
Our Reunion was held Sept. at Mulica Hill,
when over 100 answered 10 roll-call, and many
had their families with them. The meeting
was. as is always the case, very Interesting
one, and we were entertained by several com
rades in short addresses; but the social feature
and renewing of old acquaintance is The pleas
ant part of these annual gatherings.
The regiment participated in 30 battles and
skirmishes; had la killed in battle, 4l0 men
wounded. I0l men died from sickness and ex.
posure. At the initiation at Charlottesville
Co. I lost in killed and wounded "a out OF
about so who entered that engagement. 1t is
not necessary 10 enumerate the different bat
ties. Our next Reunion will be at Putnam
Grove, n. j., where we would be pleased 10
M all of our family Second Corps on Sept.
4, 1S97.-DAvID BARTON. Mullica Hill. n. j.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08
Antietam Command, Boston.

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: The veterans
of Antietam Command, of Boston, Mass, had
much pleasanter experience on Sept. IL than
many of them had "a years ago. when they
stood in line on the battlefield from whence
the command takes its name. AT O'Clock the
veterans assembled at Headquarters, lag Stani'
ford street, under command of Col. Sam Can
ming, and took up the line OF march LOT
Newton Upper Falls in barges. Commlssary-
General l.. J. Shepard, usual, provided the
necessary ammunition for the trip. Sblpmate
"Sam" Ellis piloted the first barge and Dennis
Mccarthy the second. The music for the &C.
casion was under the supervision of Col. Frank
o. Newton.
Upon arrival at Newton Upper Falls they
proceeded at once to the residence OF Comrane
Daniel Hurley whose guests they were. Inc
entertainment furnished by the comrade was
royal in the extreme. The house was profuseiy
decorated in honor of the occasion, as were also
the residences of many of his neighbors, par
ticularly the residence of DIR. Billings, upon
whose lawn the Command and band assem-.
bed and were photographed. Among those
present at the residence of Comrade Hurley
were Coils. Trip. Whitney, Flood. Gray, Us.
born and Graham, of Post e. of Newton, and
Serg't Canterbury. 3lst Mass. who assisted ma
terialy in the entertainment OF the Antetam
veterans At late hour the party started on
its return trip to the city, amid rousing cheers
for their generous host. his wife, and daugh'
ters-NETERAN, Boston, Mass.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08
Have You Asthma or Hay.Fever?

Medical Science at last reports a positive
cure for Asthma and Hay-fever in the wonder
ful Kola Plant. new botanical discovery found
on the Congo River, West Africa. lis cures are
really marvellous Rev. j. l.. Combs, of Mar
tinsburg, w. Va. writes that it cured him of
Asthma Of fifty years standing. and Hon. l.. q.
Cute Of Greeley. Iowa, testifies that for three
years he had TO steep propped up in chair in
Hay-fever season, being unable to lie down
night or day. The Kols Plant cured him at
once. To make the matter sure, these aud
hundreds Of other cures ar, sworn to before a
notary public. So great is their faith in its
wonderful curative powers, the kola Importing
Co.. of l164 Broadway, New York, to make it
known. is sending out large cases of the Kola
compound free TO all readers of The NATIONAL
TRIBUNE who are sufferers from Asthma and
Hay-fever. All they ask in return is that
when cured yourself you will tell your neigh
bors about it. Send your name and address ON
postal card, and they will send you large
case by mail free. 1t costs you nothing. and
you should surely uy it.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE. The 18th
annual Reunion of the Benton County Veteran
Association held at VInton, Iowa, Sept. Is
and IL. The morning of the first day rain fell,
and many who had contemplated coming TO the
Reunion gave it up. I he rain stopped little
after o'clock, and the vets and their friends
began To gather and 10y dinner time there were
16o registered. In the afternoon large crowd
gathered at the park. A shower came up. but
Comrade Jesse Cole was speaking. and he held
the crowd through the shower. The sun soon
came out. NJ. j. Tobin, attornry-at-law, Of
VintOn. gave the welcome address COmrade
Arad Thompson, OF Lake Charles, La, re-
sponded. Then Comrade Jesse Cole spoke,
and held the audience for over AN hour. sup
per was had, aud at 7:30 the Courthouse Park
well filled, and Comrades Smith, Wells.
Casswel, and Cole, and Col. Rowan, son of
veteran, entertained the large crowd until
about 10 o'clock.
At z o'clock Thursday. breakfast; $50
o'clock, business meeting Vinton was selected
as the place of holding the next Reunion.
Comrade Smith. OF Vinton. pastor of the u. b.
Church, delivered memorial address, is MEM
bers having died since last Reunion. Al i:3O
the meeting was called 10 order. Music song,
aud short talks filled the time until 49, Col.
Rowan spoke. Messrs Carr. OF Mt Auburn ;
Smith. of Vinton Cole OF Cherokee and Wells
Of Urbsna, followed. The last four were
ministers, and they were as happy as if they
had been at q camp-meetiug.-E II. COLCoRD
| Secretary, Finton, Iowa.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08
Western sbarpsbooters Meet.

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: Il may be Of
interest to some OF your readers To know that
the Goth III. western Sharpshooters) held a
Reunion Ang 10 aud II. at West Salem Ill.
The survivors OF the grand old regiment, tn the
number of about 40, answered to roi-call.
There was not as large turnout as we expec ea
but we had good time all the same. The
comrades aud citizens OF the little city did
themselves proud. They all tried see how
pleasant they could make il for US. L. G. Fitch,
an honorary member OF the reg imenr, made TIL Q
principal address, and a master effort it was.
reception held on the evening of the
10th at Comrade g. G. Walsers. Refreshments
were served. and good time VS. had. A Camp.
fire was held tie evening Of the 11th and
speeches made by the comrades their
wives and sons. Lieut.. Samuel Bingham was
with for the first time since the war, aud it
did US good to see how he enjoyed himself.
Comrade Bill Nuby, whom the soldier haters
sent to the pen, was with Us. We 90 To Day
ton, O., next year. NJ. MOODY, Paris, Ill.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08
Another Chaplain Answers.

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: 1T seems that,
among the many excellent traits Past Chaplain
in-Cbief Haeeriy has the power OF awakening
the dead-Chaplains. i noticed what he said
IN previous issue. and ] was somewhat sur
prised 10 he counted among the mustered out -
j sent IN my name TO be recorded Eve yea 6
ago. Since that time i have been, and am now.
VIC y much alive, and shall not submit TO be
"turned down" SO long as kind Providence
permits me to enjoy this mundane sphere.
left my pulpit in July, 1862, and enlisted as
o private soldier. 1 WIS subsequently com.
missioned Chaplain by the amented Gov
Andrew, OF Massachusetts. I feel proud of the
fsct OF my enlistment, and also of the fact OF
my serving nearly three years as Chaplain in
the volunteer service in q regiment whose
record is tho pride of survivors
Ex-Chaplains of the war, presume, are too
bssy aud too modest TO cry from the "house
Top" that they served the Lord and the SOL
dlers in the field. let il be known that ths
,haplsins are not all dead YET. b. FRENCH
Chaplain, 39ih Mass. aud Commander of Posi-
527. Department Of New York, GAR, Bell
more. N. Y.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08

Lille NJ. Nesbitt, Secretary of the Depart
ment of Idaho. is an earnest and able worker in
the great soldier auxiliary, and has done her
part to give the Corps at Occur d. Alene proud
place among sister organizations everywhere.
ALL ALONG THE LINE.
The neat little Journal of the Second Annual
Convention, Department of Idaho, W.R.C., opens
with portrait of Alwilda Smith, first Presi-
dent of Idaho, distinguished for her IL months
service as Matron of United States hospitals of
the war of the rebellion, 1863 65.
A patriotic contest was held at the Reunion
of the Crawford County Veterans Association,
Oblong ILL.,, in August last, and the comrades
were so well pleased that they voted to have
one next year. 1t was under the direction of
Past Department President Delilah A. Leaver-
ton, Chairman Committee on Patriotic Teach
ing, Department of Illinois, resident at Pales-
tine.
Department President Budlong, of Idaho,
has appointed Committee on Patriotic Teach
ing embracing Mesdames Nellie g. Spofford,
Boise City Hattie /. Smith, Occur d. Aene
Sarah Watkins, Murray Frances w. M0nteith,
Lewiston; Sarah C. Claton, Moscow.
There was large Relief Corps representa-
tion at the soldiers Reunion held at Lincoln
also Of Sons of Veterans, an organization fast
growing in numbers and influence.
VIM. Banner Corps, Nebraska City, gave a
successful social in Memorial Hall, to replenish
the relief fund, upon which calls are many.
Gen. George Crook Corps Omaha Neb., Is
fourishing. Several members accompanied
their husbands to st. Paul. Members of both
Crook and Custer Corps attended the Douglas
County Veterans Reunion at Valley.
At the last Dime Social of Farragut Corps,
Vallejo, literary and musical program was
followed by refreshments; $40 realized.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08
Our Country,s Call.

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: We as Sons
of Veterans claim an hereditary patriotic
organization for maintaining the spirit and
memory of 81 and '65. We may have much
to praise and glory in, but we should pause
a moment and read the signs of the times.
Our country's call for manly men should
begin in our noble organization. We need
men, true, full of patriotism, manly men.
Our organization needs thorough sitting
in its constitution, and after it has been so
revised, to be let alone. We are now in a
period of shifting" Our country is trem-
bling with destiny. We should not forget
that, our organization being a hereditary
society, there is yet broad field for progress
and patriotic effort. The forces of the evil
are striving for the mastery over our dear
land.
Awake, Son; thou that sleepest!" What
can we do for the betterment of our dear
peopleP Not what they have done. Never
were the principles of our Declaration oil
Independence applied so persistently to con-
duct in daily life as now. Never did good
men see so clearly as now that good citizen
ship must be our ethical problem.
Can we step in line for good citizenship?
Can we cultivate the knowledge of American
principles, laws, history and progress in our
membership? Let our Camps have depart
ments to fulfill the purpose and scope OF
above in concise and business-like man.
ner-Captain of Camp, First Lieutenant,
Department of Military; Second Lieutenant,
Department of Socials and Campfres; Chap
lain, Department of History. Each member
to pursue course of study in American
history, biography, our Nations Govern
ment, and such subjects planned by Board
of the National Commandery.
It is to the thinking men to whom we
must look to guide US Alright Our mem
bers will soon learn to their confusion that
badge decorations and thirst for Office are
not true patriotism. Let US rejoice in OuI
freedom and our hereditarism, but remember
that "he is free man whom the truth
makes free, and all are slaves besides" OuI
cOuntry's call for higher ambition; to be
honorable, useful, so that in any part of this
United States or earth the name American
citizen shall mean enlightment, cultured
noble manhood; to be charitable in our
teachings and stand by the. principles Of
right in all times of peril. Now is our Op-
portunity; the field is all ready for the
harvest. Keep our motto up high, Gratia
Del Servatus," for our fathers cause is now
our opportunities for life eternal.
.Brothers they fought. whom the green turf !.
Over our country to-day;
Brothers they fell in the battles betiding.
Brothers, the Blue and Gray!
Malice toward nons.' for tho days that are
blossoms for all let there bel
Love against loving has never contsnded;
Love is the law OF the Free!"
FORREST NJ. RUNYAN, Chaplain, Camp
81, Ohio Division S. Of ", Springfield. o.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-10-08
DEPARTMENT NEWS.
INDIANA

INUTANHs
II. NJ. Caylor, in last General ORDERS says:
cit is with sincere regret that the Com
mander feels jmpelled by a selee OF duty to his
comrades to call the attention of the comrades
in this Department. to one Ralph 0. Bates, who
is giving lectures under the title of +" Billy and
Dick. From Andersonville 10 the White
House." The conduct of this man toward the
com rades and Posts of this Department has been
of such character that he is not deserving OF
their confidence or assistance. Those who are
true to the principles of our Order. and true TO
their comrades. are deserving of our esteem and
confidence. But those who by misrepresenta-
tions betray your confidence are not entitled to
your support. The Assistant Adjutant-Gen-
erals OF other Departments are requested TO
copy this paragraph in their next General
I'D