The National tribune., 1896-04-16
" MCKINLEY AND =


1.-THE nomination for the first places practi-
cally settled" said the Rhode Island man. RS he
wiped his beard and reached for a cracker.
1.-THE next great consideration is for a running
mate with the proper kind of a name to make
good sonorous campaign cry. Now, Mckinley
aud Lippitt would -
"Lippitt. o. cheese IT," reared the New
Yorker, setting his glass down with a crash.
Z" Sounds like cracked kittle. Now, Me-
Kinley and McAlpin -
30, Scotlands a-burning" groaned the New
Jerseyman. who had just come in and was
giving his order. Don't you suppose there's
anybody in this country but psalm-sin cling
Scotch Presbyterians. Now, Mckinley and
Hobart would -
Ioodoo de dicket at de START" muttered the
man who always took beer You must garry
Illinois to elegd Mckinley, and you CANT do id
widoud Gulom on de dicket Nobody cares
nottings for New Chersey, but you must hat
Illinois"
30, bother" said the man with lorg hair.
:" You men forget that successful ticket must
have musical ring. Campaign songs are more
effective than speeches. Now, you can't get a
'"J "itu any Oi tho HaHieS you nave Iucu-
toned, and they are. therefore, impossible.
PIP
But just then the saloon-keepor announced
that it was midnight, and they must all get out
at once, or the police would be on them.
50
The address of Mrs. Sarah A. C. Plummer at
the Campfire at Saginaw. Mich, is highly
sOOke nf hxy oil b0 II
Truth: Ragged Haggard Cat the door)-Mad-
dim, may trouble you for suthin' to eat?
Lady of the House tthreateningly)-IIlc call
the dog if
Ragged Haggard with dignity)-Thank ye,
but | never eat dogs
x*x
indianapolis journal: Judge" pleaded the
culprit. Il think you orter be easy on me. /
only got ID cents from the bloke'
For that reason" said the Judge. "I mean
to give you the limit. With man of your
woful lack of discrimination at large, nobody
would be safc.p
In an article in The North American Perie,o
Admiral Markham points out that in 300 years
We have only succeeded in getting 100 miles
nearer the North Pole than Henry Hudson did
in 1907, and in 20 years we have only got 40
miles nearer than Sir Edward Parry did in
1927. That is. since 1927 we have Only got
nearer less than two miles year.
go
ORIGIN OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
The Beers have fable to account for the
origin of the English language. They say that
when Dame Nature was employed in giving
tongues to the various Nations, she stood at
large table on which lay piece of meat She
had knife in her hand, and on the table lay
q pair Of scissors. AS each one came up she
cut him tongue out of the meat and with
the scissors trimmed it so as to give its pecu-
liarites. The last to come up was ode Engels-
man." who had been loafng in a saloon, drink |
ing as long as his money lasted. When he
came, all the meat had been used up. Never |
mind" said Dame Nature "there are plenty
of ships on the floor. Take a half-fozen of |
these, join them together, and make tongue
for YOURSELF" This explains why English is a |
composite speech.
Secretary Carlisle would be much happier il /
any other paper beside the Louisville Courier
Journal could be gotten to take his Presiden-
ial boom seriously.