The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-01-05

men are fine. but We don't half appre-
ciate them.
Frenchmen make better sons. but Amer
leans make better husbands. The French
man nrst thought Is OF his mother. He
expects his wife TO be subservient to her.
while the wife finds her greatest hap
piness in her sons. But once an Ameri-
can Is married, all his family are sec
ondary TO his wife. and his mother is
not Of very much account until she be-
comes 'grandmamma," and then she is
appreciated because she never forgets
the children. A standing newspaper Joke
Is told about the woman who has to
beg and worry her husband for money,
or who has TO steal II from him while
ne Is asleep. don't believe in that wO-
man. know good many women and
a good many men, and l don't know a
single man mean enough 10 ask a wO-
man what she is going 10 do with the
money ne gladly gives her; and don {
know a single woman who objects to ask
ing her husband for money, for she knows
II he has IL, she is welcome to IL as
the flowers OF May And as for women
stealing money-weH 1 think the aver
age American woman is sufficient
" strong intellectually, to get
me better OF mean man and
the money against his will. But there are
not very many mean men. OF course,
there is the exception that proves the
rule, but he is seldom happy man. for
the greatest pleasure in life after all is
the giving Of whatever we hold best and
most beautiful.
IL is a pleasure to have somebody re-
member you, but that isn't half as pleas
ant as tying up package that Is 10 so 10
somebody else.
There is a new idea afioat in regard to
the survival Of the fittest. II Is said by
those learned people who know every
thing that. in both England and America,
blondes are disappearing. This learned
person says that where you found ten
blonde women five years ago, you find one
now, and in fifteen minutes walk on a
crowded street where two hundred women
were counted of these thirteen only were
blondes. the rest having hair that ranged
from light brown to jet black and skins
and eyes in harmony. Some famous Eng
hshmen who examined the hair of a thou
sand young women came to this conclu-
sion:
That the brunette was preferred TO the
blonde in matrimOny In the ratio of three
70 two. Then he explains the growth of
the brunette in this way: 1T is a prin-
ciple In the law of natural selection that
nature adorns its pets, the men and wo-
men whom II wishes to survive and con-
tinue the race with such allurements as
VIII prove attractive to the other sex"
Vow, according to this, nature has found
that men prefer brunettes. chooses them
for wives, and then through the heredi-
tary transmission of traits, the blonde
becomes extinct. This learned gentleman
really says lis becoming extinct" and
doesn't say they are extinct otherwise
| couldn't be alive, but / do agree with
him that there are fewer natural blondes.
way; they claim that men love brunettes
because they are more affectionate, that
blondes may make intellectual and not
loving wives. consequently the blondes are
out or fashion. / am sorry, but that is of
no use, for feminine grief against science
is as nothing against the British army,
so all | can say to the blondes is to be
as perky as possible about their wits,
aud correspondingly contemptous of the
affectionate brunette. The finest COM
bination. mentally and physically. so says
a French nnFtnV nc fha blonde La9p -,
brunette eyes, brows and lashes, and the
semi-blonde skin. This woman will never
make herself unhappy by her affection.
but she VIII love discreetly and be suf-
ficientiy wise to be an agreeable com
panion. Learned doctors are great for
citing just what types of women men
ought to marry. and then If they commit
the act themselves, they are just as likely
to make mistakes as mere ordinary men
for after all doctors are no more infalli-
Bile than ordinary people who don't know
the names of the bones and the reason
why the nerves act as If controlled by
satan.
PERSONAL, prefer a blonde baby, a dark
man and semi-brunette woman. Ba-
bies with black hair always look like
monkeys, while those with either fair, or
perfectly bald heads do suggest angels.
blonde one, but he looks II, and the girl
with black hair, blue eyes and fair skin
is thing of beauty and a Joy forever,
but you have not got to go to the West of
Ireland to find her.
Whenever / sit in front of the looking
glass and brush out my golden locks and
realize that the scientists say that the
blondes are dying out, chuckle at my re-
Election, and console myself with this
verse:
IF bards of old the truth have told
The sirens have raven hair.
But Ger the earth since art had birth
They paint the angels fair"
Like Mr.. Silas Wegg. of honored mem
ory,. dropping into poetry has been a
weakness of all great people, so added 20
the list of Disraeli, Lord Salisbury, Mr..
Gambetta, Count Bismarck q did not saw
Mr.. Cleveland) comes the name of
Bah.