The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-06-21
THE LET-HER-GO-
GALLAGHER NINE

mining. Didn't | take hold of the Let
Her Go-Gallag CHER silver mine when
the stock was down to nothing, and
make it worth SO within a year? Ever
hear of the Let-Her-Go-Galla Oh.
but you ought to, for Gallagher stock
has been glammocking around on Lon
don change since 1880. A pretty
straight silver proposition was the Let
Her-Go-Galiagher An American miner
would have stocked her at a hundred
thousand dollars, and made dividends;
but, pShawi What can you expect of
a gang of Britishers? A company
pf'--IhI-er p-ck'eo her Up cheap from the
assigns of a. busted Jew, got UP a syn
dicate, with Lord John Guineapig for
president; and, times being $3.50,
palned off million dollars worth of
stock on the mugginses. Then he in
vested the plumber in his wife's name,
went smashed and got whiteWaShed in
bankruptcy.
So there was the letter. Co Gala
CHER like a white elephant on the
hands of Lord Guineapig and his mug
g1nses. What was they going to do?
Work the mine? Well, you see, Lord
Guinea pig S younger brother was a
mining expert, and the mugginses-
mostly preachers and widows-were
proud to be humbugged by a lord, so
the end of 1t was that the directors
levied an assessment and started to
work developing.
And, as I said, an American mining
man with $10,000,000 would have made
the mine pay, but it needs laundering
big profits to distribute dividend on
a million dollars. These tenderfeet be-
gan operations by renting a big, place
in the city, built a quarter million dol
lar granite building for offices in Den
YER put up the wrong kind of a. MILL
the wrong kind of smelter, and the
wrong kind of works; then, to show
how much they didn't know, gave the
management to the Hon. Augustus
Guineapig. At the city offices there
were clerks, typewriterS and f1unkeys;
at the mine, assayers, experts, man
ayers, clerks, typewriters and f1unkeys.
Moreover. they all had their horses,
their dogs, their guns, theiD eyeglasses
and their horsecloth overcoats.
Every time the assayer sent home
button of silver there was a champagne
| luncheon for the directors; every man.
ayers report went as a puff to the
newspapers, and the Official photog-
rapher used to send large groups OF
| the staff in their working clothes.
On change the stock wobbled UP and
wobbled down with every letter from
| Colorado; why, even the head of an
elk. sent home by the Hon. Augustus,
! sent it UP three points. But az last
| all the capital was spent, no ore was IN
sight worth cuss, and the shares
! were hard to sell in the city at three
for shilling.
That's when I met Lord Guineapig
! in Denver-blue as vitrioEfor he'd
got to report to his shareholders that
they'd been sold again, poor suckers,
and must make an assignment.
"Look-a-here," says I, "have you any
particular hankering after liquida-
tion?''
/ What do you mean, sir?"
well, sir, it seems to me that now
you're in a nasty hole. it'd be super
! fluous to wallow around in it. 'Spose ]
! take a-hold of your mine and make ii
pay: what'll you do for me in the way
] of sllares?''
"Oh, I'll leave you our assayer, Mr.
/ Gneissmann; Mr.. Sniff, our account
l ant: the Honorable Angus
Take 'ern away and bury en-" says
l. Take their lordships, their horses
their dawgs, their guns, their blarsted
/ eyeglasses and their horsecloth listers
/ want your dead mine, but | amt
having no truck with the long process
sion of mourners. / want five thousand
down, absolute power and third OF
the profits
That's how l became manager of the
\ LETTER Co Gallagher mine.
Takes well-educated liar to manage
j a mine. Most bosses, when they get
1 into a paystreak, cable home, Great
commandments returns coming.
4 Of course, the stock goes UP flying
I Then when the engines bust, or a few
men get smashed, they wire, Dread
i full cataStrophei'' so that the shares &C
down, down, down, till the bottom
drops out. Now, when I struck it ricf
/ kept my mouth shut till I'd filled
UP the safe against a rainy day; theT
I'd be able to have all sorts of smash
ups without their being any the wiser
in the London market. Not that l die
have much trouble beyond an occa
sion2l shooting scrape on pay day
. Fact is, my life was straight bliss save
for one thing, and that was a Brit
Usher.
It was Sniff, Lord Guineapig's old ac
countant, who knew no more abou
! mining that a Freibourg expert, blu
the creature, having lots Of wealth
bought the mine next to ours. the Gal
/ lagher's Daddy. Now, 1 amt preclude
ed to speak of it, but / never had an.
use for an English la-di-da son of
lord lu checked pants and CATERS.
hated me, too. worse than pizen-blas
its cheek Not that I wasted my bus
. ines hours hating, for I kept my heaA
shut until | could give chance mari
in the eye to the Gallagher's Daddy
Well, one night, who should come in
TO my office but a young woman. Pref
~ as a picture she was, all wet an,
shiver1ng, but her mouth was-gum
my. Cry? Cried fit to break her lit
tie heart. Mr.. Sniff she said was
DeaSf-a horrid little beast; yes, that
what she said. Sniff had sent for he
all the way from England, as his clers
and typewriter; then, when she show
: eo up at the mine, coolqy Informed he
mat he had since written counterrnand
Ing the order. Wouldn't take her il
out OF the rain, Mad? I'd have kille,
the thing, but that being midsllmane,
game was plumb out of season.
? Pretty? perfect little witch of
l woman-black hair, black eyes tina
snapped, and thin, oval, winsome sor
, OF race that bowled me right out. Sh
had the cunningest cutest little way
! you ever seen, and real lady. ever
inch. | took her right on my books a
secretary, walked her over to our land
< iady at our boarding house shark an
mad a cabin fixed up regardlessl or
DUB she was a ripping clerk-smart a
: stoch pfoheT, always busy, eager
. learn, sharp as q steel trap with th
/ books. She'd take down NV 'et4ers i
Y shorthand, wfisk them off on the type
$ writer, keep the letterbook indexed u
to the minute, run the postage stamps
Why, L got so used to her in a wee
that l barely took the trouble to sig
what she wrote. much less, to see If
was correct. Fact is, gave over M
heart, the keys of the safe and a,