The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-08-29

down, and behold our HOUSEHOLD gods
If anybody wants to steal them be-
tween now and daylight, they can,
that's ALL said Aggie; but I'm not go
ing to shut that lock again tonight for
anybody
I'm the fall there was burglar scare
about town, and Agnes mother came
over and gave her a lecture upon lock-
ing the windows. She said we really
ought to have burglar alarm. To
please her, l had one put In. Election
night | went down to town telling Ag-
gle not to sit up for me. for | should
walt for the returns. 1t was / o'clock
when ! opened the front door very
softly, not to disturb Agnes. 'B-r-r-br-
ke-plunkv forgotten the alarm.
Before | had time to say n word or
even turn down my coat collar. my
wife appeared at the head Of the stairs.
She pointed a pistol at me. Her hair
hung loose, and she was in her-well.
never mind; but she looked dlstractlng-
ly pretty.
"'If you come one step further I'll
fire. she cried.
"Tfs Joe. Agnes said |, meekly.
al don't believe III Take Off you
hatr
Il took 1t OFF, and made her a low
bow. Don't shoot your husband; he's
doing the best he can
agnes laughed Historically. oh.
Joe, | was so frightened
II rushed upstairs and caught her. |
took away the pistol, and wrapped her
up In her dressing gown. DO you
think you ought to appear before burg
lars In this costumeT I inquired. She
blushed. 4 never thought OF that
"'And to think YOU should point
pistol at your own husband.
1T wasn't loaded, joe
"'Agnes Lounsbury,' said /. do you
mean to say you were so rash as to
aim at me with a pistol that wasn't
loadedT
"'But shouldn't have fred 1t, any
way; it wasn't cooked
"Well, this ends the Waterman burg
lar alarm business said l. We've had
about as much OF 1t as we want. To-
morrow wen decide what silver we
want to use every day, and the rest
shall go down to the bank
Were able to breathe now. The sill
yer stands on the sideboard, and as yet
nobody has carried 1t of; II they do
Agnes mother Will say she expected
1t, for we aren't the careful people they
used to be In her generation. Once In
a while Aggie quarrels with me be-
cause some dish or other that would
make a show for company Is at the
bank, and don't see my way clear to
bring 1t home under my arm. You can
have them all home and trust to luck
If you'd rather l say.
I'D rather they were at the bank,
because then l should have them, you
know
"'Don't see 1t, said L; but it's just as
you say
when our anniversary came around
we had n present and a note from one
Of Agnes elderly frienls. The note ran
this way:
MY dear Mrs. Lounsbury: We send
you our best congratulations on your
anniversary. My husband will have
his little Joke, you know; and, as some
one told him that the Lounsburys had
had so much silver given them on their
wedding that 1t was positive embar-
rassment to them, he says you ought
to be ashamed of being such plutocrats
at your age, while the older generation
has not even accumulated souvenir
spoons, and sends you this little gift
to remind you of the fact
"'Oh, joel it's silver! for had
punched hole In the paper. No, II
isn't. It's pudding dish. or for oys-
ters. you know. How kind. And plat.
ed. too. 1t didn't cost much, Joe, did
itY
"a few dollars, should think
How goodl Perhaps even less
JoeT
Perhaps so; it's rather light
weight
"'Isn't 1t delightful? Wen have
some oysters in 1t tomorrow night, and
ask them over to tea.
II should feel dreadfully to have that
TAKEN heard her murmur that even
ing.
what forT
Because it's such a comfort to have
one thing that you don't care whether
it's stolen or not
You're getting sleepy, Aggie. But
1 know one thing that goes on, goes
on forever
Whatr
"'Our storage rent. I reckon In q
few years Wen have paid for the Who'll,
outfit and then Wen fetch ii home anC
keep open house for burglars with 9
clean conscience
Don't be ridiculous. joe said my
wlfe."-New York Tribune.
Destruction Caused by Bagpipes.