The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1896-07-03
Haassty Rest, Amer All.

lately came to u village where lived
q Catholic priest who was known to
keep a good table. !.
s!Mate, "said one OF them we shall
get nothing there IL be finds out that
we are Professionals ] shall tell him
I'm a Catholic"
"Do az you please, replied the 9th
or. ~ shall tell the truth" They
knocked at the clergyman's door and
asked for relief.
His reverence asked them amo ng
other things what profession they
belonged to, and they replied as pre-
viously agreed. Then he babe them
wait and went back into the house,
returning o afterward with q couple
Of plates, on one OF which was roast
duck and on the other q little boiled
rice.
"Friend," be said. addressing the
sol distant Catholic, ''as it IL fast day
l have nothing better to give you ;but
% for you," he said, turning to the
other, "being a hereto you care
nothing for fast days and may there
fore eat meat. New York Adver-
tiser.
The New Woman Aroused.
Mr. Whitewash Dis am 4 world
whar every hen has to scratch TO her
self.
Mrs White wash-Mebbe, Sambo; but
hens don't have to scratch or ub out
oh a ashtub TO- their roosters!
n Wssa Literary Girl.
The Bookman tells this story Of a
young lady in Providence, who was
asked the other day by her uncle to
make some purchases for him If which
he gave her q written list. The fret
item was Scott's Emulsion, and, after
glancing at it, the intelligent young
woman made straight for a certain
large boOkshop where she was received
by an equally intelligent salesman. II
want q copy Of SCOTS Emulsion 'said
she, casually. "Scott's WHAT" said
the clerk. "Scotts Emulsion, replied
the maiden. "Oh. yes," was the an
swer; "well, you see we don't sell
Scott's works except in complete
SETS"
Improving Her Mind.
Say, Name, said Maud as she bit
of a tiny piece OF chewing gum I've
been improving my mind again"
$50 way You haven't!' Eyes |
have. / have been reading all about
the convention. Its perfectly fasci
mating. too. "Can you understand
it? Most OF it l used to think a con
v%ention was stupid, but it isn't a bit.
1t is just like a gymnasium or riding
a goat at an initiation or something
OF that kind, YOU know" How do
they dor" why. they bring out a
plank Yes" "And it's very wide
and the candidates try to straddle il
and other people try to keep them from
doing SO, and the side that wins gets
the nomination. I don't know what
it a but that's the way it's done.
for l saw it in the paper. Washing
ton Star.
He Was Ready.
The young man had his best Cir
with him and he wanted to tell hex
about 1t. Besides he was not interest
ed in the subject which the lecturer
was'discussing, 1.-THE American Indian
as Use OF Guards. The girl was pref
ty and to whisper into her little pink
ear was a pleasure that few young
men would have resisted. The lecturer
was annoyed. 1t did not please him
that anyone should not listen atten-
lively to his words. Not a soul in the
house WAS making a noise except the
young man, and as he had his mouth
close to the girls cheek-very clo.e.
indsed-he was not particularly dis
orderly. But the lecturer vas annoyed.
Finally he said impressively ~ will
pause until the young man in the back
part OF the house stops talking. Then
he stopped. For perhaps 30 seconds
though it seemed two minutes, the
lecturer said not a word, and the
Young man continued to tell the girl
all about the subject on which he had
started. Auditors turned around and
stared at him, and he was the centre OF
interest. For a time he was oblivious
OF the attention that he was attract
ing, and then he noticed that the lee
turer was silent and that all eyes
we're directed on him. Then he real
ICED what the lecturer had said about
pausing until 1.-THE young man in
the back part Of the house stops talk
ing. He appeared to think that he
would say something and he addressed
the lecturer, saying, with great cor.
diality, go right ahead; you are not
hothering me. New York World.
ysrssont Republican.
The amount of ignorance that pre-
vials regarding the Roentgen rays is
little short OF marvellous, when it is
considered how fully the matter has
been discussed in the newspapers.
The Electrical Review says: Edison
received a few days ago at his lab
oratory at Orange, N D., the hollow
eye pieces of a pair of opera glasses
with the request that he "ft them
with the X rays' and return them to
the Vermont sender. Evidently this
Green mountain individual had a de-
sire to see things. Another seeker at
ter the understandable. writing from
P%ottsbown, Penn, sent the following
matter of fact epistle: Thomas A..
Edison, Dear Sir: Will you please
send me one pound OF X rave and bill
as soon as possible" This order was
filed away with the opera glasses.
They WIN Wait Awhile.
Mrs Wonson-''You and your husband
both ride the bicycle l suppose.
Mrs Youngwife-''No, we have to
get the baby carriage paid for yet
Somerville Journal.
Dick-"You know a fellar working
shaft No. II, who vas always kicking
for a raise. mick. Yes. Dick-"Well
he kicked over a can Of dynamite today
and got it."-Up To Date.
80 doctor, / have semi for you GER
ia inly. Still / must confess that l
have not the slightest faith in modern
medical science" "Oh, that doesn't
matter in the least. You see a mule has
no faith in the veterinary surgeon, and
vet he cures him all the same. Tag
liche Rundschau.
Max-.'Della,I swear to heaven that
you are the first woman l ever kissed.
Della with a sigh)-.'Thats the
trouble with this miserable season OF