Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-06-11


beautiful pipe to-day. Mrs. Todd
Which room are you going 70 hang it
In ?-Judge.
"Uncle Bob, what is a pedestrian"'
"Why, he's the fellow who makes a
row when bicycle runs over him
Chicago Record.
Husband-Do you know, my dear,
never get tired of looking at that pho
tograph of you? Wife-Why don't you
have it framed and hung up in the
club?-Life
de man dat likes is own converse
ton too well,'' said Uncle Eben, gin
orally gifts er chance sOOnah or later ter
m'nopolize de listenin'." Washington
Star.
Among the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES do
you dine tonight 80 do not dine-and
your Nor do To- Every good. Let
us dine together. Courier DIES Etats
Unis
Then you didn't intend asking Marie
to be your bridemaid?' -;''No. Jack
used to be engaged to her, and the dear
boy is so absent-minded."- Chicago
Record
Teacher-Now. here is an example in
mental arithmetic How old would a.
person be who was born in 1868? Tom
my-Please, mum, was it man or a
woman? fudge.
THE Camel says he's self-niade ami
NAL said the Monkey to the Elephant.
How did he get that idea into his
heau?" asked the latter well, he SAYS
he humps himself.-Pttsburg Chroni-
cle-Telegraph.
"Dah's good deal dependin' on de
way er man applies is inergies,'' said
Uncle Eben. DE bass drummer often
uses up mob muscle on one chime dan
de fust-fddler does on half-a-d oen."--
Washington Star
The parlor was mighty silent last
night when that fellow was in there"
'Was it. papa ?''' Eyes. l should think
Billie Mckinley was calling on you.''
why, papa?'' Had nothing to say"
New York Herald.
Il always eat cheese with pie re-
marked Gaswell to- Dukane, as they
lunched together at a help-yourself
hashery. 1T is generally regarded as
the proper antidote,'' replied Dukane.
--Pittsburg Chronicle
She 1 have often wondered what
the wild waves are saying. He-Judg-
ing form their roar l should say they
were joining in the general kick against
the high prices at this resort. --Philadel-
phia North American
Watts-I saw your friend Abbott this
morning. Potts-Abbott? Who told
you he was my friend? haven't bit
of use for him. Watts-Oh, you haven't?
Then, of course, he isn't your friend
indianapolis Journal.
do Algernon and Maud still quar-
rel?" NO; they haven't had an angry
word for two years. ''Good. I'm SO
glad. What brought about the change"
They stopped speaking to each other
altogether - Woonsocket Patriot.
Twynn-I should think that stutter-
ing man would naturally be an excel
lent grammarian. Triplet--I dent see
what that has to do with. it. Twynn---
Well, he would be familiar with the
parts of speech.-Judge.
II didn't sleep wink last night; that
Tugby baby cried all the might before"
How did that keep You awake last
night?'. you see, I waited until the
Tugbys got to: bed, and then I played
on my cornet Until daylight Chicago
Record. ~:
Hungry Higgins-I don't believe
could walk mile day without q
drink, could you? Weary Watkins
No, / couldn't walk a mile without a
drink, though I could walk ten miles
to get one. Queer, amt it?--Indianap-
oils Journal. =
George Whew! What can be the
matter Telegram says come home inn
mediate1y." George crushing into his
suburban home one hour later)-Tell
me quick, my dear. What is it? Young
wife-The: baby said Mamma
Brooklyn Life.
:. Lady with AlpenstocklI~ca can never
reach the top of this mountain. Guide
But madam, see-there are those la
dies on the summit. Lady-Yes, ] know;
but they are. Chicago Women who live
in the top stories in apartment build
ings.-Chicago Record.
Wheeler-Saw a thrilling thing to-
day. Runaway horse went tearing along
the sidewalk out in the edge of town
and nearly ran over a half-dozen chill
dren before he was stopped. Walker
guess the fool beast thought he was 4
Observation-Disclosures Journal.