davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03
STOLE A SPEECH.

| Back in the campaign of 1876 | was
making a tour of the west with Oliver p.
! Norton and George Sheridan one of the
brightest speakers the American platform
has ever known, who accompanied him to
do the funny business" Senator Morton
would usually talk for an hour--a dull.
turgid, heavy discussion of the financial
problem, followed by an attack upon the
Democrats of the south for thnir irhunrln
treatment o. the negro B., tnc Time he
had finished the audience would be soake
with wise advice and valuable information,
but every spark of enthusiasm would he
quenched. Then George Sheridan would
take the platform and wake them up. For
an hour they would roar with laughter or
sit with their mouths open, fascinated by
his flights of fancy. 1t was rare combn-
alton.
One night after We had been out for
couple of weeks, | think at Font Wayne.
Sheridan said: Senator want to 20 out
into the country with some friends"
"All right, replied Senator Morton
cheerfully. "You arrange it with the
chairman OF the meeting" But when
Sheridan took the platform AMI began to
deliver Morton's speech, word for word, rs
the latter had delivered it every night for
fortnight, the senator became very uneasy.
He gave all Morton S arguments against the
initiation of the currency and in favor of the
resumption of the specie payments; he
Iccited all the stateueuts concerning the
outrages in the south; he repeated all of
the personal "reminiscences of his eXper-
| fences as governor of lniana during the
war, which the senator was accustomed to
work in until the latter was almost par
alyzed with chagrin and Amusement and
| finally, when he reached point in the dis
cussion of the financial problem where Nor
toll was accustomed to compare Pompeiian
gold coin with United States grecnhack,
he turned to the astonished victim OF this
| practical joke and said in an undrrtone
! Lets have that COIN The senator han.
ded it over without murmur, and, when
Sheridan had recited the eloquent perola-
ton which he always used at the close of
his speech aud had taken his seat, Senator
Morton hGbbled over to the desk on his two
canes and said:
81 am the victim of practical joke.
Realizing the gravity of the issues before
the American people, | came into this cam
paign with Il carefully prepared speech,
which have delivered in Mr.. Sheridan s
hearing so often that he has committed it
memory, and he has delivered it here
much better than could have delivered it,
He is also in the habit of making the same
speech, and | have heard it many times,
but lack his memory and could not repeat
| it to save my life. | will therefore appeal
to him to punish you as he has punished
me, but to give us some of his stories"
Then the great statesman sat down, thor
oughly knocked out Sheridan responded
and spoke half an hour longer, with his
joke as his text, and after that if any one
suggested his speaking first Senator Morton
would tell his story.-Chcago Record.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03

Old Dominion and in other parts of the
United States Some reside in Jefferson
county, w. V, others near the old Wash
ington homestead in Westmoreland county,
and Others in Prince William and Fauquier
Miss Bette w. Washington, a great
grandniece of the General, inherited the
Wakefield estate, where the first President
was born, and is living there today with
her husband, John f. Wilson.
The name of Adams is legion, and the
blood Of two Presidents of the United
States runs in the veins OF many men of
prominence. The Adamses seemed des-
tined to maintain their place in politics
and history. The son of John Quincy
Adams was minister to England during the
civil war, and he, too, was foremost can
didate for Presidential honors. Many of
the independent Republicans and Demo-
Gratis who nominated Greeley in lS72 were
anxious to confer that distinction on
Charles Francis Adams Washington Post.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03
HUM0RS OF MARRIAGE.

make it short
Very we'll. Then you do not care to
repeat much of the ceremony"
'Oh, no! | am faint now, says she.
That is one experience.
Our next was the very opposite. The
young couple wanted all they could arrange
for in the way of ceremony-two rehearsals.
one up at mothers and final one down at
the church, the floor all but chalk marked
where bride and groom and each attendant
was to put his or her feet the sentence
learned and repeated, and every motion
gone through again and again, as though
sweetness better enjoyed in proportion as
''long drawn out"
In this land of light and liberty the
nuptual knot may be tied in all styles, to
suit the parties, from the bare form OF the
rural justice to the flowing robes and stately
ceremony of the Episcopal Church. As
simple as any is the formula of certain
Western official of whom we have some
where heard:
Jake, du you low ter take Sap
Yer bet du."
Sal, du YOU low ter take jake
81 low ter.
Then, in the name O ther State o Mis-
soury, | pernounce you-uns man and
woman. Amen"
Though somewhat abbreviated. this SER
vice was not quite so short as that of Il
rather eccentric old minister in Connecticut
who, CHANGING to meet couple that had
for years harrassed him by heads into the
matrimonial moose, yet never doing it said:
stephen and Sarah, do you two really
want to be married?
"Why, yes"
Then | declare you husband and wife -
And away he went and entered the mar
riage in the town records.
But not all ceremonies are by any means
so short; for, on the contrary, We have
heard of ministers with ceremonies occupy
ing the greater part of half hour, aud
covering pretty thoroughly the moral law
and the history of the jews.
There is Il story OF a young man who
seemed to know good deal better what he
was about. When the minister asked him,
'Do you take this woman to be your
welded wife, he answered instantly, with
no small degree OF warmth, See, here,
parson, what do YOU suppose we came here
for, a divorce?' No more true TO life was
that than another case when addressing the
bride the minister asked: "Do you take
this man for better or for worse?n Il can
tell until | have had him awhile inter
rupted the bride. On this occasion we
think it would not have been inappropriate
had the friend who presided at the piano
played for a occasional the same selection
that is said to have been performed at a
recent wedding in Boston. As the newly
married pair retired down the aisle the
organist is said to have innocently rendered
Onward Christian Soldiers, Marching to
the Warr'-New York Independent
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03
TALE OF A TYPEWRITER.

The other day got typewriter. | had
become impressed with the beautiful and
rapid work reeled off in the Office by a
number of my associates and their machines
Having decided to get one myself, did
not make any great fuss about 1t, but
simply lugged it one morning and placed
it on my desk with assumed nonchaance.
This was my first grave error. | ought to
getting my machine; l should have con-
suited everybody in the office, and so ar
range it that they would all have got to
fighting among themselves as to the super
iority of different makers of typewriters.
This would have distracted attention from
me.
When inserted the paper, just as the
typewriter agent had showed to me, and
started to make an impression on it, was
conscious that tine eyes of at least five eX-
pert operators, including those of two
young ladies, were gazing upon me in
steadfast pity.
was ratified. My fingers came down
upon the keyboard with involuntary vio-
lence and struck three characters at once.
Somebody snckered. knew they were
all "grinning."
Well ! was mad; so iabbed the helpless
keys till had written three lines, which
read something like this:
NEW YORK! Dec? 1ODS1s95"!
messrs. j. C. BoonesS coz !; DEAR
SIRS!
we are in receipt OF your esteem
ediavor?
O the It'll
This had taken full quarter of an hour,
and | was utterly exhausted.
stopped. This gave the expert opera
tors just the chance they wanted The
tall, cool cuss, whose desk is next to mine,
said
Good thing, isn't it?''
Got a 'Droninger, did you?' he OBJ
served, as he looked at my new typewriter
contemptuously.
"Yesn
"Youll never get any speed out of that
machine" And then he began rafting
off about | 10 words minute on his super
ior "Dimiger' typewriter
One of the young ladies approached me.
Its rather cute; do you like it?''
twas ~ 7 l;,J he
gave me to understand that I'd regret not
having bought "Blost' machine.
Everybody in the Office picked that
'Droninger" of mine to pieces for the next
week Many times should have liked to
kicked it to pieces.
My friends came in and noted the new
typewriter. They bothered me to death.
is it any gocd?"
Can you write with it,
"What in the world did you get a
'Droninger' for?'
GLOW does this thin! work."
Fin1"r. wrote n vote with the machine
and fixed it up on the desk. 1t read:
'Yes, Like the typewriter ''439; Y
fairly well? itworks alright. | CAN
Write actual opinions with 1T don't
think have time to talk about it,"
That made me lot of enemies. My
brother-n-law came in and referred him
20 the notice.
you'll get so sarcastic sometime that
you'll die in it," he said hotly, as he left
I'm getting on though | never use pen
now, except when I'm in a hurry
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03

The Southern planters used to 90 North
for their wives and adventurous young
men from the North married Southern girls
and lorded it over their slaves. Naturally
this mixed the sections. 1t is hard to tell
"where we are at In the late war it was
literally family fight. Generally, when
/ read of the death of a very old man in
the far South ! take it for granted that be
came from the North, and this is very often
the case. Recently | saw in ii Mobile paper
the announcement of the death of two very
old citizens. Northern men" said to
myself when | read the head lines. My
guess was correct. The Biographical sketches
OF the deceased stated that one was born in
Boston and the other in small Sew Eng
land town. Length of days seem to have
rewarded the hardy Northcrners who set
tied i'll the South in the good old times
before the war Exchange.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03

Almost every man in America has some
digestive trouble. When men meet, the
greeting usually is, well, how are you?"
That develops health talk. The man who
has no bowel or stomach trouble is almost
a curiosity. Trouble is men take no care
of themselves. They eat as though they
had copper stomachs and bowels of brass
BY and by, overworked nature rebels
Then headaches, nervousness bad blood,
liver and kidney troubles. Or. Pierce :
Pleasant Pellets furnish help for constipa-
ton and torpid liver sick and bilious
headache, dizziness, sour stomach, loss of
appetite, indigestion, or dyspepsia, windy
belchings, heartburn" pain and distress
after eating, and kindred arrangements Of
the liver, stomach and bowels. Accept no
substitute.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03

There is a white-beardea race Of sayages
among the forests of the Maranon in South
America, supposed to be descended from
deserters and straggler5 from tia Spanish
Conqucrors, who are believed TO he canni-
balls
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-10-03
9, ,aln'tt
This is the complaint of Nzl
thousands at this season. su . Tn'
They have no appetite; food H2Ra - a,

does not relish. They need the toning upof
the stomach and digestive organs, which
a course of Hoods Sarsaparilla will give
them. 1t also purifies and enricbes the
blood, cures that distress after eating and
internal misery only a dyspeptic can
know, creates an appetite, ovsrcomes that
tired feeling and builds up and sustains
the whole physical system. 1t 50 prompt
ly and efficiently relieves dyspepticsym
toms and cures nervous headaches, that it
seems to have almost ga magic touch"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11
A BUSINESS GONE TO WRECK.

"One of the sad things in our bust.
ness, said an auctioneer, sis to sell
out the contents of boarding houses.
There are number of women who
open up boarding house without the
the slightest experience whatever in
the business, and it very frequently
happens that they fail. They think
that because there are a number of
other women who make boarding
houses success that they can do SO.
So they get together the necessary
money to make start, and in they 60.
1t does not take long for them to dis
cover that there is science in keep
ing boarders of which they are ignor-
ant. Their boarders find it out also.
The result is that they have to give
up, an6 we are called in to sell them
out. Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11

When the restaurant of the Margaret
Louisa Home, an institution patron.
lied exclusively by women. was first
opened, its sugar bowls were filled
with lump sugar. This was some years
ago. Enter the restaurant to-day and
you will find the bowls all filled with
soft sugar. Why? Well, the cause is
quite natural, even if it is something
OF reflection upon woman and her
ethics. 1t was found necessary to sub
stitute the soft sugar because the pa
irons stole so much of the lump. Only
two or three Jumps by each individual
at time, to be sure, but the practice
was SO general and so unremitting,
that the finances Of the "Home" soon
began to feel it sorely. Even now,
under the soft sugar regime, it is said
that the women carry off by no means
inconsiderable quantity, tying it up
Ill corners of their pocket handker.
chiefs and even bringing envelopes for
the purpose. But the amount hasn't
yet equalled that of the former dep
relations, and, as "a consequence, the
grocer's bills of the "Home" have been
reduced to q normal size. New York
Sun.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11
FASHION NOTES.

Black velvet ribbon in conjunction
with white lace is promised great
vogue.
The Dresden patterns are particu-
larly suitable for the Louis XVI. coats
and for evening gowns.
Checks are to be very fashiona BILE,
and some smart costumes are mado
with short black jacket, the checked
shirt black and white.
Black will again be worn, but the
newest costumes are relieved with
colors, and all show in the Innings and
trimmings that black is not of neces-
sity mourning.
The print warps, so popular in silks,
and the Persian designs, which are SO
popular in both wool and silk goods,
are brought out in the wash frbrics in
charming effects.
Black silks and black and white are
to be worn this season. All black have
fancy patterns, and black with white
and white with black, which are quite
distinct, are at all prices.
Brown and white checks are made
up to wear with tine covert coats, and
and the colorings are very effective.
Novelty goods show checks in cheviot
effe cts bewildering variety.
A green cheviot has shades of red
and white all through it. and, made
up with jacket and skirt lined through.
out with silk to match, has an air OF
style that makes it quite new.
India dimities in every variety, fig
ured in black, are novel and effective.
Some of the striped baptistes and
organdies have the stripes up and
down in the body and running around
the sleeves.
The embroidered crepons are being
made up for summer gowns, while the
weaves that are no longer fashionable,
and consequently have been marked
down in price. are being eagerly pur-
chased for house gowns and for spring
gowns also.
A dark blue serge, SO dark that it
looks almost black, would be far toe
somber for spring costume were not
the coat made to wear open in front
and show full vest OF white satin,
while a narrow piece OF white pique,
! with tiny brass buttons, shows beyond
} the edges of the coat.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11
Popo Leo's BOyhood.

He spent his childhood in the simple
surroundings of Carpineto, than which
none could be simpler, as every one
knows who has ever visited an Italian
country gentleman in his home. Early
hours, constant exercise, plain food,
and farm interests made a strong man
of him, with plenty of simple common
sense. AS boy he was a great walk
er and climber and it is said that he
was excessively fond of birding, the
only form of sport afforded by that
part Of Italy, and practised there in
those times, as it is now, not only
with guns, but by means of nets. 1t
has often been said that poets and
lovers of freedom come more frequent
ly from the mountains and the sea-
shore than from a fat inland region.--
Century.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11
FOR COUNTRY'S SAKE.
AN INDIAN FIGHTER SUFFER- AGON-
les FHOM DISEA t.
He Was In the Battle with tho Apachee
When Geronimo Was Captured.

He Was In the Battle with tho Apache.
When Geronimo Was Captured.
From The Press, Neto York City.
Worn with the exposure of army life or
the frontier, and poisoned by the continue
drinking of alkall water, Joseph Flegau
returned to Philadelphia eight years ago
broken down In health and unable to do any
work.
He had served five years with the Ninth
United States Infantry in many desperate
fight with the Indians in Arizona and other
frontier States and had won an enviable
record. In the fierce conflict when Geronimo
tho famous chief of the Apaches, was cap
tured, Mr.. FIegauf was among the brave
soldiers who, forgetful of everything but
duty, charged upon the hostile Indians.
Life on tho plains sent to an untimely
death many soldiers who were never touched
by redskins bullet or arrow, and Mr.. Fle-
gauf came near such fate as that. A long
time before his time was out he was taken
seriously i'll, but he stuck to his post until
an honorable discharge was finally given to
him.
When he reached Philadelphia. the Indian
lighter was scarcely more than skin and
bones, and for three weeks he lay desperate
ly Ill In a hospital. He felt dizzy and his
stomach felt as II it had dried up These
symptoms were accompanied by bloody dys-
entery. which no medicine seemed to relieve.
After two years OF suffering Mr. Fegaui
came to New York and WAS treated by sew
oral physicians. These did not agree, some
calling his disease cataarh OF the stomach,
and others chronic diarrhma.
In speaking to Il reporter about hfa Illness
Mr.. FieSauf said the doctors helped him, but,
with all the money he spent for advice and
medicine, he was ..ble to work only q small
part of the time. Since moving to his pres
ent home, No. SIT West Forty-second Street,
In New York. about IA year ago, Mr.. Flegauf
has been so i'll that his voice and hearing al
most loft him.
Then all medicines failed and the sick man
had little hopo OF recovery. At this critical
time DR.. Williams Pink Pills fer Pale Peo-
pie were recommended to Mr. Flegauf, and. |.
almost as last hope, he began taking them,
''The beneficial effect Of the medicine was
felt ut once" Mr.. Fleguuf told the reporter,
land before l had taken box began to
eat with relish. Three boxes made me so
much better that began work and have been
able TO keep at it since. for five months"
DIR. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People
nre not patent medicine in the sense that
name implies. They were first compounded
us prescription and used rs such in general
practice by an eminent physician. SO great
was their efficacy that it WAS deemed wise TO
place them within the reach of all. They
are now manufactured by the DR.. Williams
Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y, and
are sold i'll boxes (never in loose form by tho
dozen or hundred, and the public arc eau
toned against numerous limitations sold in
this shaDe) at so cents box or six boxes for
$3.50, and may be had OF all druggists or
direct by mail from Dir. Williams Medicine
Company.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11
CLUB NAME.

Considerable ingenuity is displayed
nowadays in coming new names for
women's clubs and societies. Much
of it follows the system invented by
Lewis Carroll in "Alice in Wonder
land" a system of portmanteau words,
of which chortle and galumphing are
the most popular. In Washington
they have Wimodaughsis, which looks
like an Iudian name, but is really
coined from the first syllable of the
four words of wife, mother, daughter
and sister. In Jersey City is Phil
itscipoma, which stands for philoso.
ply, literature, science, poetry,
music and art. Brooklyn towers over
the rest with Chiropean, which stands
for Christianity, honesty, independ-
ence, resolution, obedience, patriot
ism, energy, ambition and newness.-
New York Mail and Express.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11
UTAH HoNoRs WOMEN.

Mrs. Lillian r. Pardee, although q
wife and mother, has found time to
distinguish herself in many ways. She
has the unique honor to be Secretary
of the Senate for the new State of Utah.
She is an ardent sufragist and was
nominated for seat in the Senate,
but on the decision of the Supreme
Court of the State that it was illegal for
women to vote, voluntarily withdrew
her name. In recommending her for
her present post the President of the
Senate stated that he did SO in the con-
viction that she was eminently we'll
fitted for the place, ner previous rec
ord as Secretary OF the County Com
mittee having been q brilliant and
satisfactory one.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-05-11
RATTLESNAkE WINE.
1t Is Favorite Medicine in the West
Indies.

Benjamin Gooch, in his "Medcal and
Surgical Observations" published in
III, gives a summary of different an
cient therapeutic methods, based on
the use of animal poisons. One of his
observations relates to case of severe
pains, spasms, etc, of long duration.
Gooch says, after speaking of the pa
TENTS sufferings: Not to appear in
human to so wretched q being, after
telling him l could do nothing, l sent
him n bottle of rattlesnake wine, to
take glass of frequently. This was
in the West Indies drank as the high
est cordial. Three nights after the
patient walked in. Sir said he, you
cannot be so much amazed as l am, nor
half so much pleased; l am come to
thank you, and, if not criminal, to
worship you" Gooch's account Of
how he learned the virtues of rattle
snake wine is as follows "a very
wealthy old gentleman in the West
Indies had long been afflicted with
leprosy to high degree, which was
deemed incurable by his physicians.
Apparently in dying state, he made
his will, leaving a large legacy to n
female servant, who had lived with
him many years. This circumstance
being known to the servant, she and
her paramour studied and contrived
how to make away with him in such
n manner as to raise the least suspicion.
They put the heads of rattlesnakes into
the wine he drank, thinking it would
prove an infallible poison; on the con-
trary, he grew better, and the crimin-
ais, imagining the poison was not
strong enough, added more snake We
nom, whereby the gentleman was re-
stored to perfect health. Conscience
finally put this servant upon her knees
before her master, confessing her
crime. Forgiveness was granted, and
the old gentleman gave her sum of
money, ordering her to depart and
never see him more"