West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-12-31
HOT SHOT FOR THE A. p. A.
Our River City Ripper shells the
Camp OF the Abominable Preyarl.
eating Asses.
RowLEsnnan. ". ~

more pain than TO see "A poor, indo
lent, llliterate aud deluded creature
violate the Constitution of the
country which furnishes washing
for his wife to exc out living for
herself and her children, and TO
keep his lazy body and soul to-
gether, by taking the unAmerican
oath Of the A. p. A., (AbominabIe
Prevaricating Asses), it is the much
to be pitied plsgiarist who sits down
and copies the old Knowncthing
stereotyped article which Orange
Traynor brought from Canada and
published in his Whiskey Advocate
at Detroit, and supposing every one
IN the county 20 be as ignorant as
the averags ass, tries to pass it off
as the offspring of his own con.
gested and bigoted brain, as the
would be literature from here tried
to do in the Journal last week. 1t
seems as though the recent expos
nre OF the Asses by the fearless and
irreproachable ARGUS so incensed
them that they felt like doing
something mean, but, unlike their
old "Knownothing" brethren. they
were little timid as to firing
churches, &C., probably because the
fact became generally known Of the
recent consignment from the Pope
OF dynamite, guns, ETC., and which
are stored under the church, i'm the
basement. Or, perhaps the expe.
dent justice melted out to trio of
their order who called on Mir. Shock,
of this place, at the uncanny hour
of 2 p. M, and who referred them
to the General Lodge at Mounds
vile, prevented them, and the only
thing left for them to do was Tor
the Archbishop to air their feel
ings through the columns of their
not unwilling medium, the Journal.
Now, while we have in this place
many charming, amiable Republi.
cans, men who would as ieaye asso-
ciate with Satan as an "Ass," yet
we are sorry to cay that Republic
canism aud a. p. A.ism are SYM
onymous, and, indeed, anyone with
the least knowledge of reading be-
tween lines, can see that the same
Ass is father to both communion
tons, viz, the denial of facts con-
corning the parade and the defense
of the Asses. OF course it would
not do to confound the two, AS
aside from trying to be sarcastic,
his object was to try and right the
parade, and if he defended it. under
the title of the Asses, honest Re-
publicans could not take any stock
IN it, knowing that one of their
cardinal principles is to deny, nm
der oath, that they are such, and a
man base enough to perjure himself
In one way would in another. He
accuses us in trying to be witty.
Nothing was further from our aim,
and in order that we should feel
grave, and the report of it should
not be interspersed with the least
bit Of wit, we had before us copy
OF the Journal, the prosiest docu-
ment extant. Yet, with all these
precautions, the parade was such a
burlesque, we let drop few sen
fences chat to some might seem
funny, yet they wero true.
Now, as to the number in town,
which he calmly losses off at 300,
we will say, that If there is any
hensst Republican in Kingwood
who doubts our word, let them
telephone or telegraph to some
honest Republican here-not an
Assay w. w. Shock or Joe
Pugh, and if they say there were
more than fifty strangers in town, ,
or more than ten men who reside
IN town IN the parade, we will pay
for the message. Yes, we will do
more, we will do the lowest thin o
on earth-jein the Order Of Asses.
Now, as to the number IN this
place--77, so he says-I am sorry
to say, to the everlasting disgrace,
1t 10 too true. But IN running over
the list, find that they are com
posed principally of the illiterate
class, and, barring few " ho make
big wages, they are men who live
on their wives hard earnings, and
while they we're raised under the
shade Of. the school-room they pirate
so much about, the inside TO them
IS as foreign as Jupiter.
The poor fellow again displays
bis ignorance when he says the
converts should be opened ! would
stop to tell him they are, and a
great deal more, but It would be
like putting a gold ring in pigs
nose. He says we don't know the
a. p. A. All, my dear sir, our
parents were kind enough to send
as TO school--schools that were not
farce. Schools that we're taught
in the days when ignorance and
bigotry gave way 10 intelligence,
and our school rooms we're filed by
cur Bayles, our Vandervirts and
our Delivers. We regret very much
that We arc connected with any
thing so filthy as the Asses, and
our very pen seems to revolt at the
thought Of writing the name Of the