Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1896-04-28

My nay bur, Luke Thomas, is a pop.
So be [. But thar is little ditferens
in our populism. Luke is one of these
here critters that wouldn't cross the
Jordan to enter the New Jerusalem un-
less the Raft that was to carry him
across had every plank of the Omaha
platform in it. 'Cordin to his idea
the men what made that platform
could have given the Almighty some
purity good pointers on wisdom. Now
1 alters allowed them fellers were all
human (exceptin' Mr.. Donnelly, who
is rather inhuman when he starts in to
roast one of his enemies) and therefore
likely to make mistakes. My private
opinion, publickly expressed, is that
they chawed off a burned sight more
than they could swaller, whether it wal
the right kind of fodder or not.
The other day Luke come to me with
several tears in his eyes, an actin
kind Of wild like, ez if he had dislxiv-
cred a hornets nest with his beam end.
"Jim," SEE he, ''we'll be sold outs
burned glad to hear it," seq I.
"I've been tryin' to sell out for sever
al years, but nobody hez any money
to invest in farm property emmy more.
81 don't mean that. I mean that our
principles will be sold out'''
mime Amt for sale.'
"Well, I mean that our leaders will
sell out to the Free Silver Party.
The Omaha Platform will be aban-
doned at St. Louis.
mot abandoned, Luke, only laid
aside for awhile
But this is treachery! Drop the
Omaha Platform, the greatest docu-
ment ever drawed up by man? Never,
If the Peoples Party leaves out one
plank Of it I'll'never vote it's ticket. )"
And what will you do then?'
The true friends of reform will
have to get together and form q new
party.'
"Luke,' seq I, gettin' a little riled,
II dotes on fools, but you fellers fill
the bill too simultaneously. Don't
you see that you fellers are running
the errands of the plutes. They ought
to pay you good wages, for it is such
inspired idiots as you that prevent re-
form. What would you think of a
hungry man that would set down to
table jest covered with good vittles
and then starve to death
jest cause he couldn't swallow the
whole thing at one gulp. Better take
your food by mouthfuls, Luke. You'll
find it agrees better with your STUN
ick."
But Luke's head was so full of tim
Der from the Omaha Platform that
there was no room in it for reason.
He got up and clawed the air like a
play actor reading Shakespear, and
howled like a dog when hes got his
tail caught by a closing door.
"This battle has got to be fought
out on the great issues of Money,
Land and transportation he shout
ed. ''Like Patrick Henry 1 SEE:
"Give me Liberty, or give me death. -
"I'll send the foolkiller to your ad-
dress, so youkln get the latter, ''sez L,
SHOW, Luke, what are you going to
do today?'
I'm goin' to pillow the ten acre lot. -
"When will you plow the patch on
the north side of the hill?'
"As soon as gets through with the
other lot.''
"Why don't you pillow them at onct:
Spread yourself, Luke. A Teller that
can reform this world at one swoop
ought to be able to pillow 2 fields at
one time.''
"Why, Jim, it can't be did"
mo more kin you carry out the
whole Of the Omaha Platform at once.
Now, Luke, be sensible. There are
millions of fellows that are ready to
help us get Free Silver. Lets let 'em.
And then we kin go for some other
part of the Omaha Platform. If it's
mace of good timber it ought to keep
for a few years. :"
Luke went out kinder thoughtful.
Hope we'll get his brain free from
that clogging timber.
JIMMY CRICKETTS,