davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

II am tired to DEATH declared Mira
Matronly AZ she reached home from
down town the other evening
whats the matterT' asked her bus.
band
Been having baby's picture taken
They have q way Of taking them In
simultaneously now, you know"
How long you at itT'
Three hours and q half.n-Detroii
Tres Pres.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Hell never mean what | say to 0
summer girl.
She-And l never believe what q sun.
mer man say to me.
He-Good. Then we might as well
be engaged without further loss of time
New York World.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

"You needn't tell me that women
have no sense Of humor." said Ricketts,
to Fosdick.
"Wellf'
~ overheard a suffering man pro-
pose once. He said: I l-l-love y-y-you
d-d-d-devotedly. Mummy d-d-dear BIB
Blanche. W-w-wwill y-y-you m-m-m-
marry m-m-mef' And after the deliv'
cry Of this declaration on the INSTALL
ment plan the mink had the audacity to
say; ooh, George, this is SO sudden" -
Town Topics.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

"Clars. yon know that young man
that I said was going to twist around
my ingerT"
"Yes, Maud. Did you do itf~
81 tried"
well, did you slicceed?@
II started out all right, but finallv
found myself folded up In his arms
Exchange.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
The Tree that Went Wrong.

EHU HEEd tHuE Weut WFOuE
When the tree was small no doubt II
had the best Intentions of becoming a
tall, straight and beautiful tree. But
when 1t had grown large enough to
send out a branch this branch went
wrong-perhaps some boy stepped on
it-and instead of growing u and up
ike other branches it started off down
ward. The next branch above say this,
and was no doubt sorry about 1t. So 1t
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
A Reason for 1t.

Trivvet-Skidmore gave his seat in a
street car to a lady this morning.
Dicer-Oh, come now: don't impose on
my credulity.
Trivyet-It's a facA He told me af-
forward that there was a hole in the
window back of him and he was afraid
Of the draft.-Judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
Glddness Comes

VXTith q better understanding OF the
" transient nature Of the many phys
ical ills which vanish before proper Ell
forts-gentle efforts-pleasant e1orts.-
rightly directed. There is comfort In
the knowledge that 20 many forms OF
sickness are not due TO any actual dis
ease, but aimply to o constipated condi.
ton Of the system, which the pleasant
family laxative, Syrupo Figs, prompt
ly removes. That is why 1t Is the only
remedy with millions Of families, andi -
everywhere esteemed 60 highly by all
who value good health. Its benetciaL
effects are due to the fact, that It Is h
n remedy which promotes Internal
cleanliness, without debilitating tine
organs on which 1t nets tits therefore
all important, In order to get Its bene-
fetal effects, to note when you pur-
chose, thatyou have the genuine article,
which Ia manufactured by the California
Fig Syrup Co. only, and sold by all rep
utable druggists.
II In the enjoyment Of good health
and the system 10 regular, then laxe-
tives or other remedies are Q eeded
II afflicted with any actual disease, q
may b0 commended tothe most skilifuI
physicians, but II In need OF Q laxativs.
then one should have the best, and Wild
the well-informed everywhere, SyrupoI
Eige stands highest and u most Largely
ees&az&@ivss most asnsEAAeataexAetae@
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Mrs. Annie T. Risley, Of No. 1899
South 5oth st., Philadelphia, Is tbs
wife Of q prominent real estate agent
aud moves In high social circles.
She Is also a member Of the Presby-
tsrian Church. Under date Of Sep
TENDER 18th, 1895, Mrs. Risley writes,
"I write to thank you for the bsns-
aeial results from the use Of Ripans
Tabulas. IsawNthem advertised.
and though I rarely put muehS
confidence 10 patent medicines,
decided to try them. Since I began
taking them my dyspepsia has d.
minished and I can feel that It Il
leaving me. My complexion has
improved, and I feel like a new
uoman-notshs new woman Of the
present fad, but a reiuvsnated and
physically regenerated being.
(signsd), Mas. A. 7. RrzLxr."
Ripsns gabules aye sold by a~ruggiste, OF b. .
ne Drice so cents q box y ssas 20 Tas Mp
acmleal Company, No. ~ 5pruos S. rev nc
ample vital. 10 cenlA
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

George Crulkshank was constantly
making portraits of himself. A COM
plete series OF these pictures from the
time the caricaiurist was twelve years
old is about to be published in Lon
don,
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Edinburgh, Scotland, has just re-
ceiyed through its Lord Provost. ar
offer of $500, 900 toward building 9
town hall from an anonymous person
In the last few years the city has re
ceived 81 900, 900, in gifts.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

First Moth-For heavens sake Isrs
get back to the city where I csn 20, a
decent meal
Second Moth-What's the natter
First Moth-I haven't struck anything
but bathing suits since l came here
New York World.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

1t is said that Rev. Samuel D. Mer'
rill, now of Rochester, N. Y, was the
first white child born in the territory,
now state of Nebraska, when his father
was laboring as a missionary among the
Indians.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
Am.xtnx detective work.

Hijinks-The Brooklyn police have
Just struck . clew to a great murder
mystery. -
Lovecutt-Goodl ! suppose they'll
promptly bring the murderer to JUS
ticep
Alphabetically. He's been dead
these twenty years.-Town Topics.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
Almost Wiped Out.

Florida natives like to make game OF
%inquisitiva travellers. An English
cockney was talking with a Cracker"
Yes" said tbs Floridian, 1--WE had
a n awful Gre down in Swamp City last
week. Only seventeen houses left
standing"
my goodnessI How many were there
beforep"
"Eirhtsen."-Youth's Companion.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

bent oyer and persuaded the lower
branch to grow up as a good branch
should. So the lower branch turned
and went straight up to Its friend,
seized Arm hold OF 1t. even growing
into It. and the two went up together.
You will see how this was done from
the picture. which WAS taken from a
photograph OF a tree In Hamilton, No.
Did any of you ever hear of q tree that
played a stranger prank?
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

In Alpraeh, Switzerland, is a timber
slide said to be the biggest in the world.
At any rate. it is eight miles long,
and is helping to denude old Mount
Pilatus OF trees.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

81 would kiss you II l had the cheek
to do It," said a bashful young man to
his sweetheart.
Whats the matter with your lips?"
queried she.-Detroit Free Press
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

The famous collection Of drawings
and engravings by the old masters
formerly in the possession Of Colonel
Malcolm, has been sold to the British
Museum for $125. 900, though it is said
to be worth about 5000, 00O.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Oficer-Private Schultz. after you
have served three years faithfully,
what are you then?
Private Schultz (saluting)-Three
years older.-Texas SiftingS
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Miss Newritch bidding her bosom
friend good-by at the dock)-And would
MT it be grand If l should catch a lord
over there?
Miss Oldstock-Yes, then you would
De a lady.-New York World.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

TITSstopped free and permanentiye cured. No
ats after first days use Of DR. KLlNR's GRHA4
NnRyE EEeToRnn. Free sc trial bottlesnd tre&t-
tsa. SEED 70 DR.. Kline. &l Arch st.. PhilAss 70
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
RJPT'URE

Cure Guaranteed by DIR. j. b. MAYER, 1918
Arch St., PHILA., PA. Ease at once; no opera
ton or delay from business. Consultation free.
Endorsements OF physicians. ladies and promt'
nent citizens. send Tor circular, Office hours }
A III. to al 81.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

We have noticed that when the doee
get after a rabbit, its left hind foot
doesn't save 1t.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

IN
the same work. Their duties y
compel them to be on their feet from
morning to night, and many of them.
in a short time, contract these dis.
tressing complaints called female
diseases"
Then occur irregularities, suppressed
or painful m~enstruation, weakness,
indigestion, leucorrhma, general de-
bility and nervous prostration.
They are beset with such symptoms
as dizziness. faintness, lassitude, ex-
citability. ir~ritability, nervousness.
sleeplessness, melancholy. 'ali-gone"
and NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. feelings.
blues and hopelcssness.
In such cases there is n tried and
true remedy. Lydia f. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound ut once removes
such troubles. The following is .
sample:
INV dear Mrs. Pinkham After
writing you, and before your answer
came, l was too miserable to go to the
store, and so lost my position. That
was five weeks ago. L am now back
again in my old place, and never felt
SO we'll in all my life, The bear
ing-down pains and whites have left
me, and l am not a bit nervous or
blue. Life looks brighter to me. l
don't get tired, my temper Is real
sweet, and 1 could scream right out
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

woman" said the
boarder, SIS a little lower than the an.
gels"
"She comes high" assented the cheer
.ul idiot.-Indianapolis Journal.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Merit Wins and that Is why Hoods Sar apa-
ril a holds the abiding confidence of the public.
Hoods Sarsapariila IS known by the cures 1t has
made, II is the One True Blood Purifier.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
An Ambitions Cal.

An Anal ttfouS Cat
Canor-What has become OF the two
tailed kitten you used to have ON ex-
hibition hersf
Manager-It worked itself to death
trying to catch both Its tails at once
Truth.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

"Howley was badly hurt last Sun
day"
"How?"
"In some way he dropped . sunday
newspaper on his foot and crushed It"
Texas Strings.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

he used to be the meekest man
In all the human race
But since he bought a bicycle
He travels on his face.
~Life.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

am entirely cured of hemorrhaQe of lungs by
Piso's Cure for Consumption LOUISA LINDA
MAN, Bethany, Mo-. Jan.s 8, ai.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

The Czarina OF Russia, it is said, is
an expert swimmer, and recently had
a great swimming tank erected in the
Winter Palace.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

GODS Pills cure liver ills, constipation.
JaundIce, sick headache. biliousness. 25e.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Mn. winsiow's soothing syrup for ehildrea
teething, softens The gums. reduces inasmma-
lion. alfsys pain. cures Wind celia Aca nottta
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

M EN- and Ladies' In small towns wishing t.
AVA earn SIS a week easily, write US; we will sx'
plain. EXCELSIOR Cos Rochester, N
Y. Lock Boz eos,
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

please spare q copper; I'm % hun
gryp
why don't you workr'
Because that would make me still
more hungry."-Judy.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

There were Sc, 600 cases of cholera
in Japan last year, 10000 OF which
were fatal.
Hearing the note Of a redbird high
in 3 tree, while on 9 picnic, a Louis
vile (Ky.) bid fancier determined to
capture the songster and climbed al
most to the branch where 1t Yves
psrched, when he slipped and fell,
f~racturing his skull.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Charlle-I say, dear boy
Chappie-Yaas?
Charlie-I wish some one would In
ven a cigarette for hot weather that
one could smoke without having to
light it.-Exchange.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Teacher-What Is ito lie:"
Johnnie-''To lie" Is the imperfec,
form Of 'to fish"
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

First Tourist (grandly)-Whiis In Eu'
rope last summer 1 went through
Wales.
Second Tourist from Chicago)-How
much did his ~princelets have In his
clothesf-Truth.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
osttius tina Mnn.r

Farhsr-He says he loves you. bu,
can he support You In the styis FOR
have been accustomed TOT
Daushesr-Even bstter, fssAer, dea,
II yoa WI Just furnish the msnsy, DE-,
> an that disssqtasps hlm-Tsnsas
otU paeAA|A
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
Worked Both siotions.

Squldig-My wife called me m r.,
telephone this morning,
Mcswinissn-What forl
sQuiidis-Te call me dsTn-Ex.
change.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
FOR LITTLE FOLKS.
A COLUMN or PARTICULAR IN.
TEREsT TO THEM.

Something that Will Interest the Ju-
veniie Members of Every Household
-ouaint Actions and Bright Sayings
81 Many Cute and Cumming chiidren.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

AuC Aot1[A anu hutGTs \
One OF u girls who read last week
about the white blackbird writes and
tells US a quaint but pretty little story,
which shows how an old mother black
bird regarded her chicks.
You will be interested in reading 1t:
"once upon a time a kindly old man
started out in the morning to go hunt
ing. He was passing through a thickly
wooded forest and fancied he heard q
mother blackbird calling to him:
"'oh, kind sir. do not shoot my chill.
dren.'
THE hunter replied: Tell me how i
may know your children and l will
promise not t. harm them
"'oh.' she replied, you an easily tell
mAne, for they are all white
"The hunter departed, saying that he
would not shoot them. Night came on
and the same old man wendell his way
homeward through the woods. But
this time he found the mother bird
moaning and in great distress. On in
quiring the cause of her grief she ex'
claimed:
"'You have killed my children
"Hs said that was impossible, as he
shot only young blackbirds. and yours,
you say. were white
'Sull sobbing, she said:
"'They have been black to you, but
they are all white to me.'"-Chicago
Record
Good Games.
1t 10 not always easy to think Of good
games and other entertainments for the
lawn and park parties which are 50
popular at this time Of year. 1t is quite
necessary, as every girl hostess knows,
that the fun should begin the moment
the guests appear, SO they will never
know that there has been any ice 10
break. A good way to do this is to
start the boys and girls first to arrive
on a few Of the old, but always anus.
ing, tongus-twisters. Just ask them to
say mixed biscuits" a few times. aud
then try gig whip" In q moment
they'll all be laughing and ready to at
tack the very next guest who arrives,
and tangle him up. If any one ventures
to say that these are not really tongue
t~wisters'' suggest In your calmest voice
"Six thick thistle sticks"
BY the side of this old Peter Piper
and his peck Of picked peppers fade:
into insignidcance.
II you happen to have a kodak, an6
the sunlight Is bright, this Is youl
:hance. Bring 1t out quite suddenly
and take pictures Of all the guests pres
emit while their faces are screwed VI
in the effort to master thistle sticks
You viii get some very funny results
and when the photographs are finished
hey will make q most amusing souvenir
u the occasion.
Having graduated from 'thistl'
, stieks," try some Of the following twist
srs:
"Can a tinker tin a tea kettle, ticklt
6 talker or tackle & kiteT'
Stop at the shop at the top Of Stat
street"
'sThere was an old woman and Sd,
was a thistle sitter. She had q sieve o
sifted thistles and a sieve of unslfte'
thistles, and she was q thistle sitter"
she stood at the door welcomini
aim in"
Another interesting diversion Is To
! sye-hois game. suspend a sheet b
tween two trees or in front Of the law
: tent and cut a hole In it Just the size Q
an ordinary eye. Then let part OF tn
company 60 behind the tent and PAL
remain outside. One by n those Z
side step up and place q aye close
the hole, and thoss on the ether side U
70 ssaps the lsRs u tAs Rsfesas 2!
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16
worth

Bingo (sternly)-Bobbie, Mrs. Slim
son, next door, says you tied q cannon
cracker to her dogs tail this morning
and he hasn't been seer since Now,
sir, ia like to know what you gained
BY such conduct?
Bobbie-I gained q dollar bill IRON
her husband.-Lifa
why are you putting such big words
a. .hst challenge?" asked the eminent
nnrsl,st Of his private SECRETARY. "ines
20 t.vv-breakers, sirp' The expiana'
~, wss ouits satisfactory.-Puck.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

some ~
Your Vegeta
Compound i:
ry stand
by. You
don't know
how thank
full 1 am to
you for saw
ing me from
suffering.
The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-16

Companion.
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14
TWO FOR ONE.

Send for free sample and Judge
thereby.
The FREE Press and CINCIN-
NATI WEEKLY ENQUIRER
both one year for only 1925
The Enquirer is a 9-column, g.
page paper, issued each Thu rsday
Largest:iu size, cheapest in price,
most reliable In news, all large
type, plain print, good white paper.
If our readers want another live
paper, the Enquirer is that paper.
Call or send orders to the FREE
PRESS OFFICE.
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

Arthur P. Davis and A. T. COL
ton returned Wednesday from Salt
river. where they were inspecting
the dams, canals and reservoir sites
OF that valley. They claim that
the Hudson Reservoir and Canal
oompany's works, which are now
about TO be inaugurated, will cover
fully $4,000 acres Of the finest land
in Pinal county.-Tribune.
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

The Tucson emelter commenced
operations again yesterday morning
with a force of some thirty-fve
men, working eight hour shifts
Over 900 tons of copper ore is ex-
pected within few days and a
large quantity later from Gila Bend
and Lordsaurg. Returns from New
York on bullion heretofore shipped
TO that point. are highly gratifying
to the gentlemen who are now ope-
rating the smelter, as the Informa-
ton shows the bullion yielded a
higher per centage of pure copper,
and copper matt, than any ever
leaving the territoly,-Citizen
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

A survey for a canal from the
A survey for q canal from the
Colorado river near Hardyville to
the bottom lands near Fort Mojave
is now in progress. The canal will
furnish water for 10000 acres of
the richest land in the world
Klnginan Miner.
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

Interest in mining investments
continues steadily, and inquiries for
gold and copper properties are nu-
merous, There is bound to be a
general revival in mining through
out the entire west during the COM
ing summer. The outlook was
never brighter. all things consider
ed than It is at present.-Prospec-
tor.
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

IL tell you," said an ardent pro-
hibitionist to a friend, "ex-Gover.
nor st. John is the right sort of a
man. He sticks up to his princi-
pies. He says he will never leave
Kansas SO long as there is a drop
of whiskey left in the state.
"Graciousl Il was the reply; sis
he SO fond of liquor as that 2"
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

They were caught.-"Has any
body here a oorkscrew % spoke up
u sharp-nosed old gentleman in the
sleeping car. 81 have !" was the
ready response from nearly every
seat. "Just as / thought r shout
ed the old gentleman springing to
his feet. And now who will be
first to sign the temperance pledge 2
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

1t seems that the anti -toxine
serum which DIR. Porter has been
using as preventative of dipthe-
ria has proved to be Just what he
recommended it. as, since he COM
rnenced using it, the disease has
been fast disappearing, until now
We do not know of case in this
yicinity.-Graham Guardian.
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

1t is doubtful if at any time in
her history the finances of Arizona
were in SO satisfactory condition.
Her debt might be less, but under
the operations of the funding act,
the burden of interest has been
materially lessened. Gazette.
Mesa free press., 1896-02-14

It is remarkable how easy it is
to restrain your wrath when the
other fellow is ever so much bigger
than you are.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1896-12-28
POINTS ABOUT PEOPLE.

President Kruger has tbe saro number
NJ granIrhildron no omoon Victorj,
=, -. ,,-,.,..
rams H. 'ninese iniii9tei W Nasnihs
nbotogra,hv fad
=, -, -, ,..,.- ,..
NJ -Nop.i we inventor U, uSnaihite' Mno
nus Just uIeu' Was sinsu'arly seH'ie anu
niiu Hianntiou HAL
The present car cultlyates his tenor
voice Nheh ne mas 'inle' ms ialher played
,ne .,o,i'""nc' an" ms great srahu'"'hei
Whislieu'
Queen Victoria is said to be worth more
than 100000 600, which she has made by
saving aud interest out of her annual net
revenue OF $huoooO
Sir Julian Pauncefote, the British am
bassador, surprised the crowd in the senate
restaurant the other day by making his
lunch off hall dozen plain crackers.
1t is not true that Queen Victoria has
become a total abstainer. At her 2 O'Clock
dinner she takes a glass OF weak Scotch
whisky, and in the evening sips little
wine.
A writer in an English literary publica-
ton declares that Jules Verne never made
more than $4,000 in any one wear. lola 9
annual income is believed 10 be about 5000. =
00o.
80,
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1896-12-28
TEXAS BRIEFS.

Smthville expects to have electric lights
next month.
Corpus Christi and Brownsville are to
be connected by telephone.
Jefferson county has lady deputy coun-
ty clerk who waits on the court.
William Toliver, an old citizen of Kauf-
man. was kicked to death by horse.
Three families at Wills Point were pos-
oned by eating sour meat but all recovered.
The farmers of Tarrant county are pre-
pairing to try the experiment OF sugar beet
culture.
G. w Calvins store was entered by burg
lars at Kerrville and a quantity OF provis-
ions stolen.
J. o. owen. a Southwestern university
student at Georgetown. was severely Grip
Piled by runaway horse.
Encinal county wants to cut loose from
Webb for judicial and all other purposes
and organize on her own account.
The Clay Station coal mines near Bren-
ham arc TO be put in active operation soon.
creosote mandatory is to be estab-
lished at Somervile.
The Alvin post, Grand Army of the Re
public, has organized colonization scheme
TO settle large number of old soldiers ana
other Northern people in that section.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1896-12-28

sherman Exchange.
A quiet celebration of the sacrament of
matrimony between 5. Chandler Hopkins
and Mrs. Ellen Davis took place at st.
Mays Catholic church. Rev Father Don
ahue officiating.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hopkins were married once
before in San Antonio in 1869, In 1878 their
lives met the parting OF the ways. MIR.
Hopkins, who is nephew OF General Yves
ley Merritt, went northwest with the com
mand as an employe in the quartermas,er's
department. A few years later a divorce
proceeding instituted by Mrs. Hopkins end
ed in legal separation, She was married
to her second husband, a MIR. Davis. Since
her widowhood she has spent most of her
time with relatives in Sherman. 4 few
days since MT. Hopkins camo to sherman
to visit his SON In law, William CarawaN
and met Mrs. Davis for the first time since
lS,5 y calm review of the causes which
led to their separation showed that they
had both N'ted roles in pathetic comedy
of errors. and the intervening quarter OF =,
century VIII hereafter be 10 them a biat,s
They both chatted pleasantly to the report
err this morning OF the affair.