The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1896-08-06
ENTERTAINED TOO WELL.

ENTERTAINED TOO WELL.
The Solitary Guest Couldn't stand
the Attentions of the Whole STAR.
(New Orleans Times-Democrat)
Seated amid the palms and shrub
berries Of the st. Charles Hotel roof gar
den, with the soft vapor Of after dinner
cigars forming a luminous haze about
them. they were discussing the liberality
and charm of American hospitality.
Some years ago." said Mr.. w. T.
Jones, when 1t came his turn, many
Of you will remember that an English
man with more money than sagacity
built magnificent hotel at Cumber-
land Gap. There was nothing in par
ticular to recommend the place; it was
out of the line for travelling men, and
possessed no attractions for tourists,
but. nothing daunted by these deficien-
ciss. the Englishman made of 1t YER
liable palace. The appointments were
magnificent in every particular, and,
though I've put up at every hotel of
any consequence in the country, do
not remember ever to have slept in a
more luxurious bedroom. But guests
persistently refused to arrive. and one
morning when registered found only
five names on the book. Nor was this
the worst for turning back found even
fewer names, until I came to a space
where for five days there had been
only one man in the house. There
was man named Loomis, now clerk at
the Cordova, behind the desk, and 1
asked him how things were going. Go
ing! he exclaimed; then with a very
long face: When you entertain man
so well that you drive him out of the
house. and ne the only guest, you're
in bad way Thereupon he told me
about the solitary guest. 1t appears
that he had called the leader of the
orchestra up and said to him: DO you
see that man? Keep your eye on him.
He's our only guest. We can't lose
him or the house must close. Give
him - of time. When he goes
in to dinner take your orchestra outside
the door and play music for him. When
he goes into the billiard-room follow
him and play music while he shoots the
balls round. When he goes to the bar
follow him and play while he drinks.
Keep your eve on him. bandmaster; give
him music wherever he goes Then he
called the steward up and said: Keep
your eye on that man; he's our only
None of his money goes at the bar.
Throw open the wlne-room to him; keep
him supplied with the best cigars; serve
him the whole bill of fare, and have
extra meals sent to his room
''Then they started in on the guest.
When he went into the billiard-room
the band would play marches while
he carromed and dirges when he mas
seed. When he came out they would
follow him to the bar playing a march,
and while the bartender poured out
bumpers of wine for him they would
discourse the drinking song from Tam
hauser Circus music would be played
while he walked round the corridors,
and symphonies while he dined. After
dinner relays Of negro boys would bring
him in cigars, and the band would
play T Smoked My Last Cigar When
he went to bed the band played lula
bies in the hall, and in the morning
he was awakened with reveille and
Memberships Spring Song. For five
days the guest was drunk with the COM
bined effects of food, music, cigars and
champagne, and then all Of sudden
while the band was following him to
the bathroom playing A Life on the
Ocean Wave he suddenly grew very
Write and fell all in heap. He was
carried out on shutter and taken to
the hospital at Hagerstown, where he
soon recovered. Within twenty min
utes after he left three guests arrived
and the hotel was saved"