The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-03-28
THROWN DOWN AGAIN
ABE CROFOOT TELLS COLONEL DAW.
SON OF HIS LOST CASE.

49, lLeAt e1fAaQhnn
per " Scheme and the Vast Pos
abilities Of the idea,
WAL. but / never did seei This yo'
kurneli' exclaimed Abe Crofoot az ht
ran across Colonel Dawson on the step,
Of his village drug store at 3 O'Clock thu
other afternoon.
Yes, it's me-howdy, Abe?n replied
the colonel as he extended his hand.
Bout the same, kurnel-'bout the
same. Some of the children ~ailin?"
No, thankee. One of my workin
nevis off his feed, and I'm goin to tone
him up q leetle. Let's see? Didn't ]
hear about some mo- scandalizin or sun.
thin? Can't jest remember the particu.
lars, but l reckon Pike county was after
yo' again"
THAT s it, kurnel-mo' s%candalizin.'
replied Abe as he drew his friend aside
and sat down on the steps. eyes, sab,
the enemy moved down on my works
again the other day, and they jest reck-
oned to wipe me off the airth. Pike
county has made up her mind that
must go, and mebbe I'll hev to. but I'm
gwino to die powerful hard, kurnel-
powerful hard. Bin lookin fur yo' in
fur the last three days"
"What happened this time, Abe?''
queried the colonel as he cut a piece off
his plug of tobacco and passed the plug
to Abe and carefully remembered to get
it back again.
"Kurnel Dawson, 20 run mostly to
CON and nevis and ar a busy man."
Eyes, Abe"
But yo' hain't too busy to remember
that De Soto discovered the Mississippi
about $50 years ago. You've read that
in history"
eyes, reckon l have, Abe, but l didn t
charge my memory with it. Name was
De Soto, was it? Live in Pike county or
around yere?"
"Not exactly, kurnel. Pike county
wasn't heard Of till long after his time.
He was a Spaniard. and he cum over to
this kentry with a crowd behind him to
pick a fuss, make new diskiveries and
run things to suit himself. 1t was while
wandering over the kentry that he dis
kivered the Mississippi river"
"Shoo! Jest broke out of the woods
and diskivered her, eh?'
"That was the way of it, kurnel.
Now. then, last Saturday I went into
cote fur Tom jackson Toms dawg bit
the ear off Of Jim Forbishes' yaller
mewl, and Jim sued for $50 damages. I
was fur the defense. not only had an
alibi fur the dawg. but had II witnesses
on hand to sw'ar that he was too dod-
gasted lazy to chase anything. Besides
that, l had the dawggone dawg right in
the coteroom, that I might show the
jury he hadn't but two teeth left and
couldn't chaw off a baby's finger"
"And yo' Won that suit, Abe-yo'
won it fur shorer' exclaimed the colonel.
"Did I? Yo' jest wait! I stood to
win it, Of co'se, and kiver myself with
a mantle of glory. That's what Pike
county was afeared of-afeard I was
cumin out on top-and the fat went
fo'th that / was to be throwed down.
Reckon 20 know what fiat means, kur-
nel?"
"Sk-assly, Abe-not jest this after
noon-but 60 on with yo'r story"
"Well, l had the neatest, slickest case
yo' ever did see, but the fiat had gone
fo'th and jedge and jury had to obey.
Jest ruled me out all around and brought
in a verdict fur them $50 and COSTS"
"Shoo! Couldn't be no mistaken
"No mistake, Kurnel Dawson! They
not only throwed me down in the YER
dict, but the jedge took occashun to say
that if I hadn't fooled away my time
and let my ambishun run to weeds I
might hev bin a De Soto. Yes, sab, said
them very words right to my teeth"
"Hu! Waal, did I eyerv"
"Kurnel Dawson, ar yo' lookin at
me?" asked Abe as he faced the colonel.
Eyes, Abe, I'm a-lookin."
"Then. sab, let me ask yo' if Abe Gro
foot is a Spaniard?"
"Of co'se not"
"Did ! ever live in Spain?"
"Never. Yo' was bon and raised right
yere in this county Of Pike
IAN was l BON about 900 vars ago
kurnel."
"Shoo! How could yo' be"
"That's the pint, Kurnel Dawson
that's jest what I want to know my.
exclaimed Abe as he brought
down his hand on his leg. I'm blamed
by these yere Pike county scandalizers
because l hain't as big a man as De
Soto, who was dead and buried q hun.
dred Vars befo' my grandfather was
weaned! How could l diskiver the Mis-
sissippi river befo' l was bon? How
could l be a great man a century and a
half ahead of my openin my eyes on this
sinful world? Answer me that, Kurnel
Dawson"
"Yo' couldn't do it, Abe-couldn't
possibly do it" replied the colonel.
"Of co'se not, and yit Pike county
throws me down again. She thought /
was dun gone this time, but I'm right
On deck, as usual. I kin be throwed
down, but the grass don't hold me fur
longr
SCOT a new idea, Abe?"
II hev, kurnel. Yes, sab, I've got the
biggest thing of the lot, and if I don't
hev the hull Of Pike county lickin my
.butes inside Of six weeks I'll be power
fully disappointed. Kurnel Dawson,
yo've seen grasshoppers?''
millions of 'em, Abe"
EVERY dawggone grasshopper is a
iumper and every summer thar AR