New-York tribune., 1896-06-06
TIE TALK OF THE DAY

tucky have been discussing the advtsatts~ .s~
c!arng women eligible ves,rymen OF us,A.s
a French Duel.-"Are you going 10 the oe..,
mo. I'm going 10 nght n duel" '''s''
"Wcil when you return please 10 sion IN
dressrnakers and tell her to send up my bodis. ~ ~
UIllustre de Poche. Ass -
There was funny typographical error IN . r..
necticut paper the other day 1t referred "A n.
boiling delc es OF the Prohibition Conyent,o, 4,
Pittsburg as "bot'ng delegates"
That there thin chicken with the dragglea ,..,.
erS. said the farmer 10 the summer boarier a..
me one n Lea cal he socalst Know Why" o. cours
call him that cause he spends so much time chssr,
the other chickens 70 git their y.ttles away frnr
em that ne don't find no time 10 pick up non f
hlsse.r -tIndanapol's Journal.
Al a rass-meet,ng of the citizens OF Garrison
Col. the other day. It vas voted to change tho
name 0, the town 20 Canton. The change VA,
made because the names Garrison and Gurnsor
are SO similar that It caused great deal OF con.
fusion In the mails
Tho conisnnc man was standing the scaroa
ana The ShHr.n was adjusting the black cap when
LOUD cry was heard withou, and swift scorchsr on
Sr ese % g. g. rolling up Tayns 10 n;
n" relieved prsrac-, g.anc!ng critically at The
scorchcr who ina SAVED SIN. asked. What make i
tfat wheely'-tN nneapols Journal
Sir John Lubbock says :hat tho houseay which
produces the sound F. vibrates It's wings MO
times minute. SS5 a second: and the bee which
makes the sound OF maay az 25.ON or over
80 second. on ne cont-ary. tired bee huns ca
+. and vibra'es ~ wings only goo times secocd
PHONETIC RHYMES.
There vas yogng chapp.e named choln,onde'g
Who always at dinner "a; Golmonieley.
His far partner sad,
As he crumh.eG his bread
Dear me- you behave very rholmondelcy"
There was OLD parsoa named Beauchamp
WHO would lecture his fock ard bepreauchamp
They must earn their letters
And bow 70 their be'ters"
There lived young lady named Saint Clar
Whose eye was the merriest twaiEt Clair.
She said 20 her beau
Il want coais from below;
Do you mind agita,ng the ta.nt Clair"
A fine old landowner named Marjoribanks.
Found the summer-heat dry paths and parjoribann
So about his estate.
To pr tect his Old pate,
He arranged pine plantations ard larjo-oanks
4 wealthy old buffer named sain, John
Had f,re. anl wen, of 'or al ain; John
He helped i 70 play.
But alas, the next day
lie was plagued with .helnatcal twalnt John;
-,l.ondon Punch
The town o. Salisbury Vt. has rad only four
town clerks sire its Incorporation under Governor
Benrng Wentworth. August 20. I7I Tie frs:
Clerk Thomas Mattison. hcli the position until lss
Jacob Caiusha fo- fc-ty-one years until lSE; Myroa
Barton. his successor. served until October Z. $50
He fc turn was succeeded by his son Hiram. who
stlll holds the office.
He had proposed and been rejected "vsry % wsI o,.
treatment Of me VIII be regretted"
Il shall never regret H. she replied =,
, Oh CONT mean you he nurnnsei nO15
dcphia North American
A Maine paper gives examples OF famous names
tha; have been duplicated Miles standish died the
other day In Maine Artemas Ward still lives IN ne
same State General Grant died IN Harmony nun
Der OF years since. John quincy Adams vas cro@e'
at Nanceboro short time ago. Peregr'ne Mn'"
lives In Skowhegan. also I'm Bangor; Joseph "a'e'
lives In Rene Me-; Captain John Smith and '0aa
Brown live most anywhere. James buchanan Va"
wounded by guard at Thomaston while trying |"
escape and Oliver Cromwell Is serving a lie ssH
terce n that same institution
A Prospective Hoday.-Emrloyer-J Johnnie E E
Johnnie-No sir wuz russn' my sick uncle
Employer-Nursng your sick uncle? Is ne '"
Johnnie-yes. sir but I'm In hopes OF keep!np pls Gm
alive III tn ball team gifts back'-(Cievelana F~A
Dealer.
Professor william Matthews. in The COZ"
Rule" says thai Ralph Waldo Emerson was 0ne'
greatly annScl Win me ANHo""o
lady. deeply veied and dressed in mourning. "1
riding In a stage coach IN Vermont. oppoeGs =
whom sat small sharp-featured. oiacx-eyN
woman. who began ca,echsing her thus "a
you lost friends Yes. have "" AS oae' -
frlends?" Yes. they war" How near "A Nv.
band and a brother" Where did they ~.
Down to Mobile" What did they ais .c,..
yellow fever" Was they lciE s'on. -
very" Was they seafarln' mem i% a..
..rNt, .h.ir rbf
WAS they hopefully pous" Il nope az. ., ,nsv
they was" "Well. !; you got their ehls's' go "a h.
was hopefully pious. you have grea. rec" IA ,hs
thankful" TIE stress laid on the en's'' 80 ,o.
placing Of their rescue before the prey ', ,,unsas
husband and brother reasons fof '"""" ~,
struck Emerson as exceedingly charae'e''. -
certain class OF Yankees. and infntey "''
voking
Skill that Vanishes-she paused 10 "A'
boys playing mumblety-peg. , ., c,syefy .
Isn't IL remarkable" he SAID no" ~
boy can handle a knife -. ..,d ,,'s more
Yes" she answered with sigh; am M ysso he
remarkable to think how he loses II siI wT wWTuh.
grows up and ought 10 be aDle 70 o"''N
ington Star.
An English traveller In Norway says: i nsu .a
that the Norwe CLAN children are exceu'"s"
Of sweets and owing 10 the heavy uA ' ,u.ht
lave few opportunities Of eating them 80 ma
a pound in Bergen. and TINS mana '' ~,tA
whole family solemniy neIp theii'e"'' ,c "A
deep gratitude depleted on thelr iaceS' ,vssif
us. shake hands with both the Decor anu -" ..r,.,
and saw: TAX give some cigars 20 ,'e s.s,.s
and the two sons. the latter neve' having w..
smoked such thing The thrift o. tho N0r""s ' ,hs
,s shown In the treatment OF these c.sa'' ~ .u,
Youths They smoke for five minutes 'ne" 80" .,rsr
extinsuish the burning end and place u. ,,o,n.
away in some corner Of the house Inc ne.' .~,oks
inp | see them having another Ave minutes 'n s.v.
and these cigars actually last fsr owe. -. w" of
being taken in homeopathic doses a. 80, m ana
about two hours Finally the eids arc CUT ~
used In grandfather's pipe
In tho Salon catalogue this year tnr'p pnrs whose
home address Is somewhere m me me and in Eng
this is duly set down In the cata9s knows,
iish But any Frenchman who reads r. nasmiable lady
of course what st. stands for, so ths ,sose thus:
and excellent painter appears ne ne,h,s E(Bostop
Miss - Chestnut SAINT, fta'~
Trauacript