New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-12-02

lpeWs cost the most.
Among the real. odd things Of life arr
men who cannot get a wife.
Talk is cheap from barber. He car
Igive it to. yon at cut rates.
Il Asman's character doesn't depend al;
together on the high standing. of his col
y lar.
! The. gamesof life will be ended when
! Gabriel plays his trump.
Who can say that 11cartwheels' do moi
have . legitimate bearing on roads? 81
| An echo is but holler mockery. 81
/ Young people should remember. that
too many late hops mean an early bier.
| The school books say the shortest
days Of the year are just before Christ
mas, but the pccket-books know they
come just. after.
Razors and men are alike in that they
are sharpened by being strapped.
| "A problem in etiquette should draw.
poker be played in the drawing room or
the ante-room. 81
Herr Blingstinehoeffer of Germany is
a man Of letters.
Hope is a good breakfast but bad
supper.
Kentucky doesn't care what metals
the other states choose to coin so long
as they let her mint julep.
Men who have married actresses know
why star requires whole company to
support her. @-- =.
The lawyers prove, when they under
take t,that "where there's will there's q
way'-to break it. 49,. .~~@- - !
The man who stole ham might have
been quarter ahead had he taken a
shoulder. VI. .,.'~. szs=1#
Electricity is a profound subject, yet
Edison makes light of it. ~: = " 2>ssss
Brev1ty is wit. That's why some
knickerbockers appear so funny. 49, =
The average young lady never hears
of a transaction involving an engage
ment ring without wishing she had a
finger in it. Il: I
"Well, I'll be blowed!' said the safe.
when it saw the burglar approaching.
It's hard 70 keep kiss secret. It's
sure to pass from mouth to mouth. :#
There are supposed to be lots of harps
in heaven, but no Tyres.
It's sounds lparadoxical, but an ice
trust can make it hot for community.
Loving grass widow is the pleasant
est kind of a hay fever. =. -
| Merely protesting to be religious
doesn't sprout wings. -
Even the soberest wood chopper is al
ways cutting up. 4
Life is all a matter of corse to the
undertaken. x:
Even modesty may be overdone. We'd
like flannel shirt better, if it wasn't
such shrinking little thing.
Though you may have poor neigh
Dor, it doesn't follow that your neighbor
should necessarily have one also.
He that walketh uprightly walketh
surely. 4.
They say every mans business can be
told by the expression on his face. Ev-
en- the soda fountain clerk can be deter.
mined by his ph1z. II
It's easy enough to settle down by the
sea during the hot spell, but, it's hard
i to settle up.
It was Job of old who first said
"That makes my blood boil" 3
The indolent young lady who wants
/ to be on the safe side will avoid ever
the potato masher. .z..ss.5
More children would say :'thank YOU
if their parents would. ".
i Preachers labor for the glory Of Coz
and, incidentally, for the salaries pail
them by men. 81 81
The wise man keeps something in re
serve. It isn't prudent to depend Who'll
i y on one suspender.
Some men learn enough in a year 0
d travel to bore others fora lifetime.
Many man gets soaked buying vat
J cred stock.
# Germany gets hard up il can paw
the Watch on tile Rhine 81
The husband who tarries to drink can
come straight home ;. a. ". Bulletin