The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-12-10

His father with n grudCe to satisfy
My own boy. Marry her. and render
that old skinflint penniless.-Pittsburs
Chronicle Telegraph.
1t Would Look So.
''Tney have such queer notions ir.
school now. The children are not
taught to spell at ALL
Gracious me! What a lot of type
writer's there will be a few years
Eence!'-Indianapolis Journal.
His wife's millinery bill slipped froc,
his nerveless fingers.
Consequenccs
THE consequences of your extrava-
sance." he solemnly exclaimed, "bc up
on your own head"
They were. with the exception of
Thursday afternoons, when the cooE
wore them.-Chicago Journal.
Mr.. Asbury PepperS.
1.-The new hoarder" said the landla-
dy. us as bald as an egg"
lust about the, age of one. isn't he?'
asked Asbury Peppers, which was
really unkind of him, as the lady made
q practice of getting the freshest the
storage houses had-CiHcinnati En-.
Quirer.
Followed Him.
Tuttle-The professor finds It impos-
sible to get away from his work.
Newton-ls that so?
Tuttle>YeS: he went 10 the SeaShOre.
and the first thing he struck was
school of fish.-Texas Siftings.
He Didn't PAN Out
Lafayette SQueer-How did you like
the dog sold you. Bnbbles!
Bubbles-Like him? You told me he
was the greatest dog for pointers
ever saw. l lost thousand in the
market yesterday. and that dog never
whimpered.-BuffalO Times.
Popular Nail
Blackner-HOw did you tear your
coat:-
Reddey-Caught il on a nail in Wig
ley's store. l made him pay me $50
for the damage, though.
Rsackner-That SO? Is the nail there
Gazette.
why He Quit.
"Well. l see old Banks has finally
quit smoking. l heard his doctor tell
him over a year ago that unless he
stopped it would kill him. and his wife
has been at him about it ever since"
But that wasn't what made him
swear off. His typewriter girl object
ed to his breath. "-Cleyeland Leader.
Needed n Change Of Diet
Georgie-Mamma, I'm just sure you
i; dn't give LIE enough cake.
Georges Mamma-What makes you
think that, my boy?
GeOrgiecCauSe Tommy Simpson
said l was a pie-facc.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
From Chicago.
Mr.. Badger-My dear, this is Mr.. Cal
umet. from Chicago. He will stay to
Mrs. Badger "a moment later to the
lieutenanO-Maria. when you
set the table be sure to put on the pie
Plain Dealer.
A New Departure.
Mrs. Digby has a husband that
really thinks something of her."
What has he done?"
'.Why, instead of betting to win a hat
for himself on the election, he bet L
new bonnet for his wife,
not to Blame
''Whatr' exclaimed old Bullion, in
surprise. Give you my only daughter?
Not much, young man.
what il she is your only daughter"
replied the young man. tartly. THAT
sn't my fault, is it?''-SOmerville
"A SchemeF.
''Why does young Sharpley always
axes Miss Flighty bicycle riding be-
ore he spends the evening there:'
1T makes her SO hoarSe that she |
lever asks il he wants hear her sing"
Detroit Free Press.
Uncle Hiram's Views.
IAN these Of city parks IL plum |
axes. anyway"
why. Uncle Eiramy'
There amt a park In the whole /
own where folks can dig a hole. make
fire an roast taterS in tn ashes"
After Her Coy Consent
She-Now, Charlie, 1 suppose to
morrow you will have to speak to
apa about this.
He-YeS, dearest. l suppose must. |
After a pause.l Has your father go'
telephone Journal
Never Wholly Free.
~Jibway's wife seems to have him
retty well under control"
Yes; the only time when Jibway is |
OF under the influence of his wife Is
then he il under the influence Of |
quor."-Indianapolis Journal.
The Descent Of Man.
He-Just think Of il! They say Z |
nm descended from q monkey.
6he-A esmedown. indeed! Detrult