The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-09

The thin little Leans
Called the Fats has beens''
And ate EN- right up
Ira la lie.
The gentlemen of attenuated frame
and those of superfluous adipose tissue
met in the deadly warfare of the dia-
mond yesterday at Aurora park. 1t
was remarkable exhibition in more
ways than one. The Emaciated Stars
licked the Corpulent Pumpkins to the
tune of 10 to 8, and then at the end of
| the second inning the Humane society
stepped in and stopped the game One
umpire was half killed and was hauled
away from the grounds by the Rondo
street patrol wagon. AL last reports
he was expected to recover.
The novel game was witnessed by
over thousand people. 1t was well
worth the price of admission. The
soft impeachment was circulated after
the game that Comiskey was present
incog to watch the work of Capt Bean
and DR.. Sehiffman, and that in all
probability these, two would join the
Saints on the return of the latter team.
The temperature was somewhere
about SO. The sky was "high"-what-
ever is meant by that-but as the term
is applied to every game on the home
grounds 1t must be apropos in this con-
nection. In fact, the sky was so very
high that several balls have not come
down yet.
If those poor, dear fat men, whose
legs are as the pillars of the Parthe-
non, should be compelled TO work in
actual business one-half as hard as
they did at that ball game, they would
suddenly become too strong to labor.
There were several surprises during
the afternoon, one of them being an
imitation of man stealing an ice
wagon by Cal Stone. Only in this case
the Ice wagon was a patrol wagon. It
was feared at o'clock that the gladi-
ators would not be able to gladiate.
owing to the non-arrival of H. p. Hall
Grand Pasha of the arena. But at 3:13
telegram was received from the
Most Irrespectable and ReprehensibIe
Pasha, which read as follows:
Hinckley, Mimi, Aug e.-Chief Centurion
OF Arena, st. Paul: You need not postpone
the games until l do return; let the process
sion move on time. Collect.
H. P. Hall, Grand Pasha
On receipt of the dispatch a collec-
ton was taken up to pay the boy who
carried the message, and the tum-tum
of the tom-tom announced that the
fetes were on
The band played on. The popuIace.
animated by that contagious excite
ment which always precedes the OPEN
ing of great event, shifted nervousIy
in the seats. Ever and anon an anxious
watcher would stamp his feet in i'll
suppressed Impotence.
1.-THE games, the games" they cried,
until the sound was echoed back from
long row of tenement houses which
stood upon the hill side. Would the
heroes of the arena never come? Would
the umpire never say: "Play baIl?"
Would the spectators, noble Romans
that they were, brook further delay +?
Nit, not!
AT last amid blare of trumpets.
the gladiators entered the arena. The
walk of the Corpulent Pumpkins made
the earth tremb1e. The Emaciated
stars cast not even a shadow. The
crowd went wild with delight The
old pine coliseum rang with the &C
claims of the populace, and shouts of
ON Fats! "On Leans" were heard
on every hand.
{
Stone was down on the card as umpire.
and he entered the lists with stately
tread All was ready. The Corpulent
Pumpkins were first at bat Finch
stood with his hickory in expectant
attitude. He had not long to wait.
Along came the ball, and with a swoop-
Ing swipe the batsman hit the sphere.
Oh, somewhere in this "high sky" the
ball was soaring. The batsman. merri-
n inn two In L. -
base line toward first. Condo Hamlin
was covering the point for the Emaciat-
ed Stars, but his services were not
needed. as the batter was in such
tremendous momentum, that he failed
to stop himself before he reached
second. Three men held a mattress.
and he ran safely against it, stopping
quietly and gracefully. Then up came
fat and jolly Brother Bowlby. The
spectators howled with delight. Bowlby
made two-bagger, and then the crust
fell through evidently, for he never
reached home. Things got dreadfuIly
mixed up. That everyone was in mo-
ton was evidenced by the terrible heat
the friction of so many terrestrial
bodies was something terrible
When the inning changed. some one
discovered that the Leans had been
playing with four men in the field, con-
trary to the rules of the arena. and
one of the surplus spider legs was ex-
PEELED through the postern.
At last the moment came when DR..
Schiffman was at bat. He spat on his
hands. Casey did that. He rubbed his
/. hands In the dirt, and wiped them on
his shirt. Casey did that too it will be
remembered. Then the pitcher pitched.
The ball landed somewhere in the
grand stand, but what did the doctor
care for that. He madly clutched at
the air, paved the ozone for a few
seconds. and then tottered to earth.
The ground shook. Hit by a pitched
ball, groaned the terror-stricken
populace. But in trice he was up.
The umpire ordered him back to his
bat, but the doctor refused. The Little
Leans and the Big Fats all ran out on
the diamond to protest the decision.
In a twinkling Cal Stone was surround
ed. His fate hung by a hairs bredtb.
XIII the umpire" shouted the crowd.
The centurions sounded the alarm. and
| the gates flew open. But what was that
cloud of dust at the further end of
| the arena? Was 1t Ben Hur driving
| "hurry-up?" If so where was the
Roman? On came the forms, and on.
| of the dust cloud came a vision of a
patrol wagon.
It rounded first base, and thinking II
was chariot race, a serf took down
a ball and an eagle to mark the first
| heat. The gladiators were struggling
on the ground with writing form
They seized 1T, tossed 1t In the air and
| 1t came down with q dull sickenine
thud on the bottom Of the wagon,
i Driver Ben Hur gave the Arabian