The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1896-12-25
MY OWN DECEASE,

MY OWN DBCEASE.
Although undoubtedly had been very
| ill, am by no means certain of my facts
! at about this time; so whether l was
! the victim of little too much indul.
| gence in the flowing bowl, or of lively
| imagination, or of hypnotic trance, /
really cannot say, any way, one morning
I seemed to be conscious that I was talk
| ing with demon, who sat by my bed
| side. He was very pleasant sort Of Il
fellow and not bud looking, but sonie=
how knew he was demon.
"Would you like to hear what they
| are saying about YOU and go to your
own funeral?' he asked, pleasantly
''People generally do attend that cere-
mony personally" l suggested; then,
after a moments reflection, l asked:
Am l dead, then?"
"Of course. Did you not know it?''
IF | did it must have escaped my
memory" l replied, imperturbably.
"Well, you are dead, but l will give
you the remarkable power of going
visible to- them"
''That's very kind of you, but I've
heard you people seldom perform services
for nothing. What recompense do you
require?''
None. The penalty you will pay will
be sufficient reward for me-"
'What penalty?"
''To see yourself as others see you,
| and hear what they say of you"
f,i1 %1D,, o$D,,s 1snD pn1f
into thin air, and the next moment
was gliding noiselessly down the stairs.
l should explain to you that l ain an
| orphan, without parents, but a member
| of large family; sisters, brothers,
cousins and all the rest of it. l happen
to have more money than any of the 9th
ers, and have hitherto been much sought
after on account of many excellent per-
sonal qualities. | am not married: Well,
the fact is, | am of rather retiring dis
position, and not having yet come across
preliminaries, / had not found courage
to take the fatal plunge. My eldest Sis
ter. Priscilla, had therefore been keeping
house for me.
easily passed through the closed par
lOr door without opening it, which was
very convenient, and found myself, I'M
seen by them, in the midst of relatives
from ulIleTeut pdfIS Ol the country.
They were waiting breakfast for some
important person who had not yet made
his appearance. / was foolish enough to
think it might be myself and sat down
to my customary seat at the foot of the
table; but. of course, no one saw me.
| had forgotten for the moment that l
was dematerialized spirit. Soon, how
ever. the door opened, and the important
individual entered the apartment. 1t
was NV oldest hrnthar Ton, Nox- T no.
gan to understand He was my executor
and residuary. legatee: He represented
me, the late Crawley Slowquicker, Esq,
deceased, hence all the court and defer
| ence paid to him. This was absurd, you
know, for bigger fool never lived.
and sat down where l was sitting! This
was stepping into my shoes with ven
geance actually usurping the same place
! occupied by my disembodied spirit. Tom
was bulky fellow, and felt the affront
Besides. wishing better to watch the pro-
ceedings, | got up quickly and sat be-
hind my chair.
Two things especially attracted my at
tention, and somewhat shocked me. In
the first place, Priscilla's presiding
seemed much more lavish than Under my
regime, and in the second l was struck
by the happiness and gayety of the whole
company. This was calculated to take
| my faulty down a few pegs, for had
| fondly imagined that my death would
depths of despair. But it hadn't.
| 81 never like going into black" Pris-
| ella was saying in her even tones to
! Aunt Gwen, 'it's so very unlucky"
| II don't mind the change at ALL said
Aunt Gwen the color just suits me,
you know. But l really can't tell what
orders to give, not knowing how l. am
provided for
'.'Ihat's as. good as asking" said Tom,
with one of his horrible laughs which l
used to consider hearty "A mods as
! good as a wink to blind horse. 1 sup
pose the regular thing is to read the will
after the funeral; but as it's all among
ourselves it does not matter, and III read
| it to all directly after breakfast"
Then they started talking about their
late relation. Crawley Slowquicker, and
the things heard about myself positive
ly asfonished me.
They were all sadly deficient in the
bump of reverence, and l found that not
one of them entertained that respect and
affection for me of which had imagined
tee WfGs a Of eDd Ny 6s dony
words. 1t was dreadful penalty t.
pay, a sad modification to hear what
they said of me, and to see myself as
| others saw me.
"Well, of course,' my cousin Vernon
said, responding to some remark in q
virtuously deprecatory tone. ''Of course
de mortuis nil nisi bcnum, and all thai
help saving that Crawley was always
mean-horribly meanv'
| Confound the fellow! And this was
man to whom I had left $500, forgiv'
| ing him all the money he owed me
which was as good as double the legacy
| mo, no; not mean." Tom answered
and l blessed him for those words, but
he, spoiled it all by adding, "a bit care
full, you know" ~.
.Ah, / should think so,'' says Priscilla
.You will hardly believe it, but it's fac,
he never allowed me money enough tc
keep house decently."
| OF course, this was not true, as YOU
may imagine. She was always wanting
more money, and vet it never succeeded
in purchasing anything remarkable. AND
this was my sister Pris, whom I had
always thought so affectionate so en-
! tirely, devoted to me. Oh, it was toe
horrible $50. i.
These three were my principal legatees
| If l had only known sooner! But how
was that possible? sr-+
/ knew what would do. l had made
! up my mind-and having no body, 1 was
all mind howl would 60 at once to my
SOLICITORS, and have a codicil drawn
! up while there was yet time. But stay
| there was no time; it was too late.
had quite forgotten that I was only q
poor ghost, dematerialized spirit, and
that old idiot, Sharpitlaw, was so wed
ded to routine and old-fashioned custom
| that he would certainly regard post
humous testament as informal, and as
was invisible he would treat my signature
as null and decidedly void.
. When next turned toward my anna.
Bile and sdisinterested family circle,
perceived that the breakfast things had
been removed, and Tom Slowquicker sal
in the. armchair with my will spread
| out before him. -. 1859
| There's someone missing" he said,
looking around him, magisterially; "who
is it?' = p +. = :, ~s
'.Only my sister Minnie" Vernon re-
marked. casually. II went to her this
morning, but she's SO upset about his