Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-05-06

er door and shouted, Same mere! y
Harpers Drawer.
-:O:
UNCOMFORTABLE.
With gentle spring have now returned
The days of rapture, when
We shed our winter underwear,
And put it on again. PUCK
New York Editor-"See here! don't
you know that executions by electricity
are the law now?'
New Man-"Certainly."
Then, sir, what do you mean by using
this old-time, chestnutty, mouldy quota
ton, Give rogue rope enough and
he will hang himself?' What do you
mean, sir? We are not living in the mid
die ages"
What substitute would you suggest"
Say, Let a rogue go on shocking
society and he will get shocked HIM
self New York Weekly.
Aristocracies in different places and
ages have prided themselves on many
different things. One of the queerest,
perhaps, is the aristocracy according to
cheeses which. according to the Neue
patricians of Zermatt. The arlstocracy
of families is valued by the number and
age Of cheeses they possess. There are
families who possess cheeses made at the
L IL
child is born cheese is manufactured,
which is then called by the name of the
child. 1t is partly eaten when its name
sake gets married each wedding guest
tasting a portion. The cheese is then
put away again and finally cut into and
whose name it bears. When a young
man woos a maiden, he begs to be al
lowed to dine with her family on a Sun
day. His offer being accepted, the low
ers wait anXiously to see whether the
girls father will cause the cheese to be
set on the table. At the end of the long
meal if all gees WELL the master of
bearing the would-be brides name, sets
1t on the table, cuts it, and gives a piece
to the young couple. When they have
eaten it, they are betrothed pair. The
others at the table partake of the cheese
and drink to the eternal friendship of the
two families.-London Daily News.
At the Palais Royal.-Jack (who has
just treated his friend to the dinner of
the establishmentl-"Pretty good dinner
for 21afrancs, eh:" His Friend-'First-
rate. Let's have another. '-Tid-Bits.
-:O.-
'This book on games that we have
compiled said the German publisher,
thoughtfully.
quired the editor.
mo. It's a good thing. But I'm
little bit scared about putting it on the
market"
Why"
1T makes the statement repeatedly
that the ace is bigger than the king. If
that comes to the attention of the En-
peror, he'll have US up for lese mejeste,
sure. WashingtOn Star.
To-
No Love Lost-Magistrate the
prisoner known, constable?" Constable
Yes, he's well known to the police,
your worship Prisoner savagelyl-
''Garn. l amt On speakin' terms with
none O yern-Fun.
Two boys were seated on the bleachers
that afternoon waiting for the baseball
season to be inaqgurated, alleges the De-
troit Free Press.
1T makes me blood boil WI indigna-
ton said one of them, ter see de way
we've gotter bow down ter money. We
halter sit out here III Sunstroke avenue
while dem fellers dat has de price luXu-
rates in Easy street"
Deere amt no use er kickin'," was the
response. Desc distinctions has gotter
be drawed. De world couldn't git along
lessen dey was some difference made.
Sposen you want ter go ter de ball game.
An ye tells de man ye're Workln fur
dat yer health's failed all of sudden
an ye feel like ye'd better see a doctor
an go home"
L alters tells i'm 1 halter see me
grandmother off on de train"
1T don't make no difference. Sposen'
We get off an de boss took notion ter
go ter de ball game hisself dat afternoon.
Do yes t'ink ye'd git any pleasure outen
de game, if dey wasn't no place fur We
both ter sit in but right tergedder in de
RI II 10 oil 10 /1,
dem anarchists; yer got good ting an
ye're dyin' ter spoil it"
Boastful Young American-"Of course,
| think America is the greatest country
on earth. | was born there"
Severe Old Briton-''I don't see how
that fact supports your assertion to its
greatness. It'd
A dignitary of the Church of England
tells this story of his Cambridge days.
He is younG-looking and always wears
white tie. When he got his fellowship,
full Of pride and consequence, he went
to call upon the master of - college.
He rang the bell, and when the door
opened, was about to present his card,
when he was cut short by the footman,
who had run his eyes over him, saying:
"All right, young man. You're too
late. l got the place yesterday" lid
Bits.
The topical writer of the Chicago Rec
ord rises in rebellion at Mr.. Depew's at
tempt to produce that story of the Ari-
IONA man VINO died and then came back
to get his blankets, as a new story. 1t
AYERS that Prof. Manag has discovered
Zuni hieroglyphics relating the story,
which prove that it was told in the
Southwestern districts before the advent
of the Aztecs or II, 052 years ago.
The chase for the age which has not
heard this story is indeed an interesting
one, but it seems a most elusive quest.
Amelia B. Edwards, who has delved so
deep into Egyptology, mentions it as be-
ing inscribed on the seventh papyrus on
the fourth shelf in the temple of
Rameses, and an ancient Phorcian writ
ing traces it back as far as the Xuzov
of Kadir, who ruled the world in the
time when the earth revolved from north
to south instead of from west to east.
Corroborative evidence of the age and
general senility of the story is gathered
from this passage in the Odyssey, six
ty-third book. ten inches down on the
twelfth page from the beginning of the
chapter: