Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1896-03-19

SIUIe girl I've always taken you TO be.
[ pleaded. L tell you the whole thing
is an error, a delusion, wchout a word
OF truth in it. l Ill have the
wretChed business cleared up at once
Besides, think a moment The idea is
preposterous. If you could bring
yourself to imagine me the husband of
/ another you surely could not believe
/ ME at my age the father of half a
dozen children. 1t is too absurdr'
And l smiled sickly smile at t
folly of the thing.
/ How can | tell? Perhaps w.
/ have deceived me in Your age as we'll,
/ Of what value is mans unsupported
word? But leave me; go, and let me
break my heart in solituder
In this strain she went on, blindly
! refusing to be comforted, until the
thing got so hot that l seized my hat
and rushed TO my lodgings in despair,
with the intention of forthwith tying
myself to the bedpost, instead of a
week hence to wife. On considera-
/ ton, however, / decided TO postpone
the fatal act for a day or two, in order
I that l might have time to arrange the
disposal of my worldly goods and
chattels as l did not wish there should
be any wrangling over the possession
of my hat boxes after my decease. In
this determination I retired early to
rest, to enjoy the sleep of innocence.
But l did not have things quite to
myself. My uneasy slumbers of the
night were a fearfully enlarged edi-
! ton of the days proceedings. The s
children, quickly multiplied up
sixty, shared my distressful couch, al,
made the night merry with their
pranks. They danced hornpipes on
my chest; turned somersaults on the
bridge of my nose; seized me by the
hair of my head, and whirled me
round the room in a manner that
would have surprised Mr.. Maskelyne
himself, tossing me over and over like
a Shrove Tuesday pancake.
Needless to say that | awoke in the
morning with a splitting headache.
and feeling generally SO unwell that
decided to pass the day indoors.
1t was afternoon, and | had thrown
myself into an easy chair and filled
my pipe with the intention of spend
ing half an hour in the regions OF
oblivion and tobacco smoke, when a
violent rat-tat at the outer door caused
me to jump to my feet A few Sec
onds later the door of my own room
was thrust suddenly open and a
powerful female voice exclaimed: GO
to your father, my dears, and let him
see how you love him.
In an instant half a dozen brats OF
every conceivable degree of dirtiness
rushed into the room and made for 10"
A couple caught hold of each lie
while the others pinioned me secure.
by the arms, and the whole of them
burst into a cracked chorus o
/ Daddy! daddyr'
The scene was probably ludicroua
and | believe l could have laughed al
it myself, but that through the open
door l thought l could see Clementina
with a scowl upon her face.
What does all this mean? Take
! these brats away [ shouted, vainly
struggling to free myself from the en-
/ braces of the young wretches.
A woman of masculine build
bounced into the room and turned her
/ glaring eyes upon me.
It's the wrong man" she shouted ;
and then, turning to the imps, said:
! Come away, my dears we've made a
mistake. That's not your fatherr'
Then what do you mean by sending
me this lying letter and coming to me
in this way?" I demanded of the
woman, Indignantly.
81 thought you were my husband, -
she replied, coolly. you've got the
same name
Clementina now stepped forward.
'Is not the gentleman, then, your
husband, ma'am?" she asked, timidly.
The woman regarded her contemp-
tuously. MY husband, miss, wretch
as ne is, is a man. was her reply,
adding insult to injury.
CIementina laughed loudly. AS for
myself, [ have seldom felt smaller in
my life. 1 was quite aware of my
youthful appearance: in fact, prlded
myself upon it, believing it point IN
my favor. But to have thrown it a.
me in this way was most humiliatine
! However, it seemed to settle one
and for all the insinuations Of the let
! ter and evidently convinced Clemen-
! tina herself, for shortly afterward,
with the assistance of the landlady,
| she managed to draw off the horrible
! woman and her brats, and even to ex-
tract an apology from her for the mis-
/ take she had made.
| When they had gone, Clementina
came up to me and said:
will you forgive me, dearest? l
I see how stupid | have been, and am
mad with myself for ever having dis
trusted you. But the letter was the
cause of it all. How silly for me ever
/ to have believed it? Can you ever
overlook my folly and love me again."
For a few moments I had serious
thoughts of taking a third single to
the Sandwich Islands, but Clementina
pleaded so prettily that-well, I gave
way and we we're married at the date
previously arranged.-Tid Bits.