Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1896-10-07

II cOulu SrdllIy Il WiSh,
My wealth would be untold,
The bags my trousers all possess
I'd have filled up with gold.
Life.
First Clerk-She's a married lady.
Second Clerk-How do you know! "She
ordered two hammocks. "-Life.
Mrs. Quiverful (sternly)-What was
going on In the parlor last night? Ethel
(blushlng)-Only my engagement ring,
mamma.-Life.
Cynthia docking at photograph)-Hi-
ram, just turn your head little. HI
ram-You have turned it already, Gym
thia.-New York World.
He-It's reported around that we are
engaged. She-Well, you know it's
mistake. He-Yes; called to see II l
couldn't rectlfy it.-Puck.
Arthur-Are you sure she loves you?
Jack-Yes. When 1 told her l had no
money to marry ON she asked me II L
couldn't borrow some.-Puck.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, Ger
man puts on er long face an says he's
discouraged when he's simply too lazy
ter try again. "-Washington Star.
She-Eyerybody says you married
me only for my money. He-But
didn't, dear. l know you look 1t, dear,
but didn't-Indianapo Journal.
Her Father-Has my daughter given
YOU any encouragement, sir? Suitor-
Well, she said you were always q very
generous Observation-Disclosures Ameri-
can.
Mame-I hope you didn't let that
Mr.. Higgins put his arm about you?
Mabel-Why? Is there anything the
matter with his arm?-Washington
Star.
Mrs. Elmore-I wonder how many
stops that new organ of De Smyth's
has got? Elmore-Only three, | should
Judge. One for each meal.-Buffalo
Times.
81 see they are applying ball bearings
to a great many things now" Eyes;
they have ball bearing sign down
where keep my NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Times.
Stern Parent-You say he is genius.
Geniuses seldom amount to much.
Daughter-But, pa, he promises that he
will not work at it AFTER we are mar
red.-Boston Transcript.
Hoax-Poor Bjones has to run all the
errands and cook his own meals. Joax
What's the trouble? Hoax-He was
foolish enough to buy his wife a BIZ
cycle.-Philadelph Record.
When in the brassy skies above
No hope nor help see,
l gladly seek the girl l love
She's always cool to me.
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Spirit (at Lily Dale seance)-Don't
you know me? Pm the spirit of your
mother-in-law. Investigator-You cant
fool me. My mother-in-law always
brought her trunk with her.-Buffalo
Times.
81 suppose you know all about the
financial question:" said the intimate
friend. 81 don't say that | know all
about it." replied the candidate, "but
| know enough not to talk about it,
Washington Star.
Miss Chilledame-Don't you know
that nature rebels against laziness? A
man can get nothing in this world with
out labor. Wrestling Offen-Humph!
Can't he? He can git hungry, l guess.
-Harpers Bazaar.
Peasant spoke to our herb doctor
and he advised me that l should
Doctor Gnterrupting)-Oh he gave you
some idiotic advice, l don't doubt.
Peasant-He advised me to see YOU
Humoristische Blaetter.
HAS your wife learned to ride a
wheel?" "Nup; but she has been tax
ing cooking lessons, and about every
morning she goes into the kitchen and
has a scorching competition with the
cook "-Indianapolis Journal.
isn't it too bad about Charlie
marriage he and his wife have been
living from hand to mouth" "Oh,
guess they're all right. It's her faith
er's hand, you know."-New York
Press.
Nell-Miss Bjones uses French
phrases in the most peculiar manner
Belle-Does she? Nell-Yes, indeed
Why, at breakfast yesterday l asked
her how she liked her eggs, and she
said they were very chick.-Philadel
phia Record.
"Have you got it on you yet?' asked
little Petey Of his sisters bestest best
"W-w-what| inquired the three
night a week beau. "Why, a move
Sister said the other night she wished
you'd hurry up and get move on you
Philadelphia North American.
81 say, captain" said a young Eng
lishman on board an American clipper
that flag of yours has not foated In
every breeze and over every sea for 9
thousand years, has itY" mo, 1t amt
replied the captain, ''but 1t has licked
one that has."-Youth's Companion.
Henderson, consider 1t a good rule
and It's one | have tried to follow r.