Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-12-24

sss51ss ,s...-s.s Hr2S nal uncle, Mr..
s.szssS1sS 49, Benjamin Frank
-SS $500 - lin Scurry, and
,.s,,S.,S5Ssfs'-> such dinner as
we had gotten up
was never even
thought of by persons Of our limited
income But, then, we had good
reason for doing our best, for,
after having taken no notice of his
nephew since he was born, the old
gentleman had written to him that
he had made his will in his favor, and
that when he went where we can take
neither money-bags nor real estate
with us, Ben should have Scurry Park
and all the money in the bank which
he had accumulated in his long years
Of bachelorhood during which he had
paid close attention to a prosperous
business, The letter ended thus
I'm order to become better acquaint-
ed with you and your wife, l will do
myself the pleasure of dining with
! SOu Ou CuIlhlludS uuy,
We had instantly written letter
such as the occasion called for. and
my impression was that we had been
preparing for that Christmas dinner
ever since. Ben's widowed mother,
who lives with us, was greatly excited
by the prospect of Ben's good fortune.
II did not think your fathers broth
er would ever get over my having re-
fused him before I accepted your pa,
my son." she said. eve named you
after him, all the same, and when your
poor pa died he was most generous,
but we have never had any social In
tercourse since my marriage, No doubt
we have both changed"
She looked into the glass, sighed,
and that very afternoon went to the
nearest hairdresser's and bought her
self Psyche knot quite another shade
Of gray from her own hair. But what
was the use Of telling her that, when
she was contented? Since then she
had spent most of her time In taking
the grease spots out of the carpet and
furniture with a decoction she called
her "eradicator" and which she kept
In a decanter on the sldeboard. 1t
smelled dreadfully, but 1t was effective,
and certainly the furniture needed rem
ovating. Besides, mothers-in-law must
be handled carefully, If a wife wants
happy home. But to go back to the
dlnner-it was splendid; and there on
the sideboard, opposite to the decan-
ter Of "eradicator," stood decanter
of the finest port, and Ben had just
run out to get some Of the best cigars
procurable for his uncle.
Nothing is too expensive for an
uncle who offers one such great expec-
tations," he said. Though, of course,
hope the good old boy will live
hundred years; I'm not waiting for his
shoes"
He had taken his wheel and whlrled
away on 1t, and had been gone 80 long
time that ma and l were nearly
frightened to death, remembering the
long list OF accidents that filed the
papers every morning, when the lower
door burst open, and we heard him
flying upstairs 1--WE live on second
Hat) three at a time. In a moment
more he appeared, such a spectacle as
shall never forget while live. His
nose was swollen to twice Its ordinary
size, there was a great blue bruise
on his forehead, he was covered from
head to foot with blood and mud, and
one sleeve Of his coat was torn out
at the armhole.
In such cases l always offer first aid
to the wounded by hiding my face in
the corner and screaming wildly. This
l proceeded to do at once, while ma
made the welkin ring with a cry Of
HE is murdered-my only son Is MUIR
deredW
Murdered! Not IT. cried Ben. TITS
the other fellow; I've made a grease
spot Of him. He won't run his stom-
ach into anybody's bicycle again in a
hurry. He's case for coroner, and
I'm proud of my work"
"Oh, ma, he'll be electrocutedp l
mOaned, without leaving my place in
the corner
Don't make two donkeys Of your
selves" said Ben, "but get me basin
Of water" In obedience TO this re-
quest we both few out of the room,
and flying in again at different doors
with overlooking basins, had one Of
our collisions, emptylng the water into
our bosoms and smashing both basins,
while we seated ourselves in the min
lature lake that formed on the instant
and screamed in unison, Ben adding
roar like that of sea-Ilon to the
chorus.
At that instant a voice at the outer
door, which had been left open, in
quired politely, Does Mr.. Benjamin
Franklin Scurry reside here?' then,
Instantly changing its tone, uttered the
words: Good heavens! what an aw-
full scene! An able-bodied rufian at
lacking two females! For shame,
young man! You may have killed this
hged woman-your mother, no doubt
whose gray hairs you ought to rsver-
nee. Allow me, ma'am" and he es-
Bayed to lift ma by her Psyche knot,
which came off in his hand like dilap-
dated door-knob, and as he had given