Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1896-08-26
COWS AS LEGAL TENDER.

Why Should Miners Have the Sole Bene-
at CT GoSerEment Purchases?
The following satiric;,l communication
from one of America 8 greatest economists
speaks for itself:
Cow money IS older than any other
kind OF money. Cows, sheep, asses and
other cattle were money and did all tho
work of money for centuries. Who de-
nonetized the cow: 1t was worse crime
than she act of 1873. There arc only
handful of silver miners; but only think
Of the number of farmers who have suf-
fered because cows were demonctized!
Why should not the farmers supply them
selves with all the legal tender COW money
they want of their own pasturess
1t only needs legal tender act and IN
issue Of legal tender COW money payable
IN kline. The ancient Persians were "a great
people before the Greeks conquered them,
and 1t wHs the Greek coins that did away
with the COW money. We might copy the
Persian laws They fixed the amount Of
money and the value Of It. When phys
ician attended u family he was entitled by
law to make the following charges: He
shall heal the priest for q holy blessing:
he shall heal the lord Of the town for an
OK Of high value; bs shall heal the lord of
borough for an OK of average value;
he shall heal the master of the house for
an OK of low value; he shall heal the wife
the lord Of the town for the value Of il
mare; he shall heal the wife of the master
of a borough for the value Of a COW; he
shall &cal the wife of the master Of u
hpr fnr ho ~ cl,s hA
Cleanser" was called upon to cleanse y
child for lamb.
Cows and bulls circulated all over Asia
and all through what Is now Europe,
away up among the Parthians and over
among the Gauls, even in Ireland. Asses
were good money, and the ASSES carried
the other goods that people traded in when
they were trained to il. Cows and bulls
kept the money in circulation-plenty of 1t.
Our farmers had better ta Ike this matter
up and got Uncle Sam to stamp all the
calves rs well rs the coins. Stamp the
calves at n quarter of a cow. Stamp the
heifer at half COW, and 2-year-old beef
critter as a full unit OF standard of value
good rs gold. Certificates could be issued
for the whole lot, and they would all be
legal tender. What true money system
THAT would be. TO bs sure! Who wants
any gold or silver when ho can get COW
money and ass money and whisky money
for small change?
Whisky can be easily divided into small
parcels and certificates Issued. A half
gill for n nickel, one gill for dime, one
lamb certificate for dollar, one sheep GER
fnv txrn 1nIl fix-o IL r1-
lars. a one-year-oid ten dollars and two
year-old becf crittcr twenty dollars-full
standard unit of value. Then the hens
could come IN to supply small change.
Why not? A onc-eH9 certificate in place
OF n cont. Would not that give the Popu-
liat formers all they want-a kind Of
money, and all they want of 1t, based on
their own crops2 Would not everything
be lovelyf The great farming interests of
the country would be promoted. There
would be IL full and abundant supply of
money. How much per capita? They say
they want fifty dollars per head. How
would certificates for TWO gallons Of
whisky IA year, 100 eggs, five calves and
two cows suit. There would have to be
one ass per capita to carry the burden.
Such ii supply would enable everybody to
get AL that kind of money that he wanted.
Thoro would be no more abuse of gold
bugs or silver cranks. and we might have
a rest from all our money troubles.
The more this plan is considered the
more l think it will be admired. Cow
money is the oldest standard or unit Of
value that we know anything about. II
was not until after the pestilent inven-
ton of coinage that COW money was de-
| monetiZed. That crime has never been
traced to the wre,ches who committed it.
We know that Senator stewart and other
members of the house and the senate COM
mitted the crime of 1878 against silver,
but the crime against COW money ought
TO be brought into court and its nefarious
promoters placed at the bar OF justice and
put into contempt for all time to come.
EDWARD ATKINSON.