The Universalist. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1884-1897, 1896-11-14

and against the right Of each bird to
conduct his own business in his own
sweet way.
As soon as the serious work OF the
session had been sighted, down came the
Right Honorable Mr.. Heron, member
for the Tree Top division of Fishpond
in-the Hole, Essex, with resolution
that = "All birds nests be built as
near the tops of trees as possible, and
that they be made entirely of sticks.
The right honorable gentleman, who is
OF inordinate length. carries the appear
ance Of an aged philosopher who has
studied much and starved more. He is
reputed to be very learned in regard to
the habits of trout. frogs, and water
rats. In opening his speech he waved
his right wing which, like the other
members OF his body, is very long; his
manner was pompous and his voice harsh
and cultural. He consideredIthe resolu
ton very important one, and spoke first
in regard to situation. He felt sure that
there could be no doubt in the mind of
any sensible bird as to the advantages
OF building in the highest possible
branches of the lllest available trees,
this being light and airy and safe from
the ravages of naughty little boys who
carried away eggs to make holes in them
and blow through. The young birds
could watch their parents soaring in the
blue heavens. His speech was inter.
rupted by many side remarks. laughter
and EXPLANATIONS, bringing down re-
Dukes from Mr.. Speaker Raven.
Having dealt with the question Of
situation, sir" he went on, II will now
proceed to the all-important one Of
structure. Here, Mr.. Speaker and gen.
tlemen, can speak as one with author
ity." COB, oh!') Eyes, sir, with au-
thority; for my nest in Wanstead Park
has. with little annual repairing, last
ed me for no less than fourteen years.
and am going to ask this House to vote
that every birds nest be built like
it; that is to say, that they be made of
sticks closely interviewer, and securely
fixed among the topmost branches of the
tallest trees available"
Mr.. Lapwing. member of the Marsh
land division of Mud land. Rushes, made
a very telling speech against the resolu-
ton, in which he pointed out the alb
surdity of such mischievous and med
dlesome legislation as that proposed by
his right honorable friend. He said there
were no trees at all where the great ma
jority of his constituents we're compelled
to reside; and then, on the superstition
that il there were, and Lapwings took
to building in them, he went on to draw
most pathetic picture of the sad acct
dents which would befall every young
bird of his species directly it left the
shell, adding somewhat dryly. For my
right honorable friend forgets that
young Lapwings, although not blessed
with such great length of leg as
young Herons, make better use Of theirs
by beginning to run about the world d.
rectly they are Matched"
This hit was cheered to the echo by
all the ground builders, such as Plo-
vers, Pipits, and Terms; and MIR. Lap
wing went on to demonstrate with as
tonishing force and logic the disadvants
ages Of nest composed of great heap
of sticks and rubbish in perfectly bare
field. and wound up by saying that if
such law ever came into force, nearly
every ground builder in Great Britain
and Ireland would have, like the Pill.
grim Fathers Of old. to seek fresh woods
and pastures new or to suffer total ex.
tinction.
Mr.. Dipper, the dapper little member
famed for his great show of white shirt
front. from Beckside Borough, West
moreland, thought that if his right hon.
orable friend had applied his reputed
learning and genius to framing a Bill
enforcing close season for tiddlers or
a new musical score for frogs he would
have been employing his time and
that of Parliament to far better pur-
pose than in trying to utterly upset
the domestic arrangements of nine.
tenths of the bird community of the
country by the mischievous resolutions
he had had the boldness to introduce.
c.Hear, hear" and laughter.)
The last member to speak was Mr..
Brown Owl, who so ably represents
the interests of Hollow Tree Borough,
Thickwoods, Wiltshire. With his usual
wisdom and moderation this gentleman
reviewed the whole situation. and point
ed out that it was quite impossible for
birds to make their nests by Act of
Parliament. He said that he should st
all times and seasons OnDoae tn the