Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-09-17
NASBY ON SILVER.
Petroleum Y. Nasty. m 1S7S

pass ez was. The fac: is, the thing
Cont work ez l sposed it wood, and I
amt clear onto it. There is suttle
principles in these finanahel questions
which requires great deel NV thought,
and there is underlying principles witch
man he's got to understand afore he
is competent to set hisseif up ez author
ity.
One thing I'm certin NV. Bascom amt
no finarseer, nor never will be, and
told him so.
wat IL a finanseer?" asked he.
"A finanseer." sed /, tssooming the
look of Danl Webster, lis man witch
kin pay lis debts with nothin-a man
witch kin git suthin with uothin."
The Corners, then, is full of finan-
seers," he remarkt, bitterly, castin'
casual glance ut his slate, witch wuz iisr
full enuH to turn over and begin on
the tother side.
But he hezn't any NV the science NV 1t.
l wuz argooing with him the other day
in favor Nv my noshun NV leather cur
rency, though l told him silver wux
much the same thing, and, for example,
l would assoom that silver wuz to be
the currency NV the fucher.
Now, don't 700 see, Bascom, that ef
l he'd twict ez much money, Good drink
twict ez much whisky, and pay for it?'
How much is twice nothin?" wuz the
unfeelin anser of the tyrant who
holds the destinies of the Corners in his
hands. That's wot yoor captile heZ bin
ever since lnowd yoo."
'Parson," sed he, II don't see what
earthly difference its gon' to make
whether silver is currency or anything
else. How are 700 a-goin' to git silver
eff it is made legal tender? Eff silver
wuZ ez plenty ez bricks, wat hev 700 TO
git any Nv it with?"
"Troo, o. w." was my answer; but
can't you see that to hev silver wood re-
leeve the dettor class? Even now, afors
it is legal tender, it's only with 9oc on
the dollar, and when the country il
foodid with it, it will go still lower.
Then we--or rather SIGH Nv us ez hev
property to raise money on-kin pay
Off"
"Eggsactly So" retorts Bascom; "you
kin pay me for the good hopist lil<lser NV
| mine, witch you hev consumed in coin,
witch is less than the dollar you prom.
| Used. All rite. But look here--come in
here, all NV you. want you silver men
to know exactly wat 700 are ,ushin'
| into"
And this feend led us into the back
| room--that back room which contanes
| the subsistence NV the Corners. There,
| in long rows, wuZ Bascom's stock There
| in barrils, piled one on top Nv another.
| wuz the delishus whisky NV Louisville,
| NV different ages, rangin' from chat NV
two weeks old to that witch he'd jist left
the still, and wuz scarcely cold yit.
There it lay, and ez my eye ranged
affcckshunately over it, I felt eff Good
hev the drinlin' NV all that likker
wood be content to lay down and die
WHEN the last drop wuz gone.
Bascom p'inted to an immense tank
witch he had erected, within few days,
with pipe running in from the roof
Il shant raise the price NV liklser in
conscience NV bein' paid for IL in q
depreshiated currency" said he.
l fell on Bascom's neck, in an extacy
Nv delite, while the others shoutid;
"Rah for Bascom!"
sc. w." i remarlSt, while teers suf-
foosed my eyes, 81 never placed yoo
much below the angels, but this gener-
Gus act has histid 700 hundred per
cent. in my estimashun. Bless 700, q.
W., bless yoo."
"But I'll tell you wat shell do. Do
700 see that tank?" sed he.
May ask wat that is for?" I scd.
"That tank will fill with rane-water,"
sed he. THE moment 700 git to payin'
u 4 &c u S4gs NJ " =
with water"
"Merciful hevingsl" we al exclaimed,
"and poor liklxer so weak now!"
"And when silver gifts down to Is
cents on the dollar, shell take out IS
per cent NV whisky and fill her up with
rs per cent. NV water. And so on down.
Eff silver goes up shell add whisky
eggsaclly in proporshen. In short, my
whisky is jist agoin to foller currency,
and nothin' shorter. 700 fellers witch
work for wagis may SWEET but won't"
"But yoo'll increase the size NV yoor
glasses?" sed I.
mot eny. But 700 may drink twice
ez many times to git the same amount
NV drunk ez before, by payin' for each
drink"
And Bascom stalked hawtily back
and took his posishen behind his bar.
Their wuz consternashun in the Corn.
ers SIGH ez / hev never seen. Their was
hurried consultashun ut the deelsin's
house and ! seiested that we enamel
pate ourselves from the dominyun nv
this tyrant by startin' a grosery NV our
own, on the joint stock principle, which
wuz agreed to, each man agreein' 10
contribbit ten dollars TO the capitle
stock, which wood be enuff to buy bari
or two, for beginnin'.
We wuz enthusiastic till we come 10
ballotin for the man to keep the place,
when it wuz found instid NV my bein'
chosen yoonanimusly, ez / eggspectef
to be, that every man he'd votid for his
self. FL not soul Nv them would re-
cede. the skeme wuz blocked rite there.
4 Gn,1I,y bod |,, ha oh nd and wa