The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1896-10-11
A DEBATE ON LovE-MAKING.
Subject Gravely Treated by Prominent
Persons in English Papers.

Il
ing, which has been going on in tn.
London press for the past fortnight.
The debate began with solemn, aca-
demic argument of the question wheth-
er or not young woman should enjoy
the privilege of cancelling her promise
TO marry for no other reason than a
perhaps causeless change in her feel
ings towards her fiance. From that
point the discussion has broadened
into a consideration of the modern GUS
toms or rules of cOuTtship in various
countries Mines. Adam, Florence Mar
ry, Mrs. Oscar Beringer and others Of
prominence, English, French, German
and American, have joined in the de-
bates with interesting results. An
English girl, writing of her expert
ences, describes her first love affair
thus;
"It was moonlight night in August,
just eight years ago last Saturday,
A boy and a girl were padding canoe
down stream. He has honest, blue eyes,
a tanned complexion, mastery bear
ing. In soft baritone he is singing
the Venetian Boat Song, She is in her
teens, fresh from the school room and
dangerously sentimental. They have
known each other for a whole week.
Perhaps it is the shimmering light of
the moon across the water, perhaps it
is the silent darkness of the Cleveland
woods, perhaps the disturbing note OF
a nightingale's love song-'who can
tell?
Maybe it is only the boys bright
eyes and the startling words he is
whispering. She feels he is a god,
superior being to be worshipped, and
when she is alone that night she feels
the whole world is altered; that some
great miracle has taken place. Before
he goes back to Sandhurst for his last
term they become secretly engaged ex-
change rings, break a six penny bit in
two and plight their trOth in all the
extravaganza of youth.
"A year later they met again. He
has been gazetted, has served with his
regiment. and has come over on long
leave from the Curragh. In those
twelve months she has thought and
learned much, and her heart of hearts
has suffered not a little at the changing
tone of his letters. When she sees him
a sense of disappointment takes pos
session of her. They are shy, one to
the other; he prefers the billiard
room to the canoe; the sporting papers
to the volume of Tennyson he had Civ
en- her Her woman's instinct quickly
tells her the Truth, and, woman-like,
she is not ashamed to act.
Jack, dear, suppose I were to tell
you that I did not love you quite so
much as I once did, she says one even
ing, and quickly stops his answer.
Now, don't be a dear old hypocrite;
just tell me everything
''That interview ended with full
of debts already contracted
of a small capital already sunk on
race courses, of the displeasure of
commanding officer and the frankly
b1urted out explanation:
at say, Daisy, couldn't write, or 1
couldn't tell you that / am not the
sort Of chap who wants to marry
Then Wen be chums and forget
the rest, says the girl. And so the idyl
ends"
Three years later this writer, who
had been meanwhile reduced in cir
through the death of her
father, became engaged 10 prosaic
business man who did not sing of
might winds signing" but of the sub
stantialities of life. In less than a
month she realized the terrible mistake
she had made. On every subject their
ideas were at variance. Her love Of
art, her attempts at literature, the
friends she was most fond of-all were
distastefm to him. His way of think
ing taught him that woman should
n he,
ferred that she should not talk too
much at her own table. So it came to
pass that she told him everything
she felt. He released her of her promise
and married another in six months.
The sequel is naively recorded:
eve are on our honeymoon, Tom and
]" the young woman says, land while
l am writing this ne is waiting down in
the garden, with two bicycles and our
golf clubs"
She has been rewarded for her adher
ence to truth, and has found her soul.
An American girl who set out to
treat Englishmen as she would her own
countrymen-that is as friends instead
of lovers began by joining tennis
club.
"My first endeavor," she says, "was
to make friends with all the young
men worth knowing. l left the girls
alone for the time being; in fact, [
was awfulIy scared at first by English
girls; they are so fearfully artificial;
/ like Scotch girls much better; they
are not so affected. As time went on,
/ became fast friends with my former
acquaintance, even going walks with
one or another after tennis. At first
the girls were madly jealous then they
began to regard me as a harmless in
dividual, and, finally, one day two girls
came and spoke to me, We had long
conversation, in the course of which
they asked me how all the men seemed
to prefer my company | said l though.
it was because l treated them more as
my brothers than possible lovers.
"Since then we three have been firm
friends. My conduct reached a climax
when / accompanied one of my male
friends to the theatre. On all hands
was denounced as designing mink,
a prepoSterous f1irt and goodness only
lypOyvc what else However I turned