The islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1891-1899, 1896-01-02
FIRST LOVE.


all kinds, and have given up wishing
to be dainty in my literary diet. Only
German and French romances and novels
bv authors unknown to me, or writers
whose style l do not enjoy, inspire ne
with an uncOnquerable respect.
Books by these authors | never ven
ture to open, even in the greatest dearth
Of reading matter. Besides | eagerly
welcome everything published by the
latest journals and look through each
weekly and monthly periodical that l
come across in dining or waiting room.
That is why | have a succession of
fragments Of a considerable number of
stories in my head, AID as their classifi-
cation does not especially interest me 1T
thus happens that | occasionally JOIN the
end of one to the beginning of the other.
Some Of these d0vetailed stories please
me Guite as we'll as the noted novels of
famous authors.
This is a matter of taste, and | allow
myself no criticism. Sometimes | finish
;or myself a story, the beginning of
which | have read, or invent the first
.hapter for the conclusion of a romance
which has fallen into my hands. Then,
after time. it is difficult to distinguish
between what is mine and what is not
mine. In most cases indeed have Of a
morning when 1 leave a city forgotten
what have read there on the preceding
evening But when story has pleased
me | enjoy repeating it to myself i'll the
railway carriage, and then it becomes
fixed in my memory and recurs later, at
irregular intervals, as something per
sonally experienced or again invented
by myself.
The following narrative is one of these
tales | have forgotten where | read it
for the first time Whether the tale was
exactly as I now have it in my mind l
do not any longer know. But the idea is
not mine | believe | found it in Paris
review Then it must have been many
years since, for several omnivOrous read
ers among my French acquaintance, Of
whom [ made inquiry regarding that
easily recognized sketch, could not re-
member to have read it. 1t is also posi-
BILE that / found it in Berlin or London.
Should the owner at any time reclaim 1t,
1 will return his property with thanks.
Here is the story as it has shaped itself
little by little in my head:
The numerous guests of the countess
had been slowly retiring since 1 o'clock,
and about IL there were only some half
dozen people assembled in the salon, the
very intimate friends Of the house. The
handsome Palamede had pronounced his
verdict upon the notable toilets Of the
evening, Rene had recounted the last
duel, Edmond the last steeplechase. The
scandal of the day had been commented
upon in the usual philanthropic fashion,
and for the first time for half an hour
the conversation had languished.
The countess turned to her neighbor,
the quiet CASTOR.
"You are making more noise than
usual this evening"" said she. lyon
have been sleeping this half hour with
open eyes" The gentleman addressed,
who had been sitting upon a low chair,
earnestly engaged in keeping up a fire
in the chimney, in which he had dis
played the ability that, according to a
French proverb, is privilege of lovers
and philosophers, turned slowly and
made answer, ''I am thinking of my
first love"
Gratitude does honor to the receiver
and to the giver alike said the count
ess. Tell us the story of the first love
that still makes you dream today"
l., . IL
as was his habit, and without waiting
for further urging began as follows:
'When I say my first love, do not
mean the very first. This indeed caused
me in its time much pain and anxious
joy, but that is long since forgotten.
Many time, when I now recall it, it
seems as though thought of another S
love tale and not my own. l was at the
time perhaps IL or Is years old, and she
was the sister of my schoolfellow
Jacques.
II saw her for the first time upon our
playground, where she appeared with
her mother, during an intermission, to
seeh her brother. 1t was winter. The yard
was full of snow, and fierce battle
waged between the opposing factions in
towhich the school was divided At the
moment when saw her at the entrance
to the playground, harder SNOWFALL hit
me on the head, SO that fell down un-
conscious A few minutes after, when
again came to myself, was sitting upon
chair in the porter's room, and both
ladies, the mother and sister of my
friend, STOOD near and regarded me anx-
iously.
1.-The next morning she caused inquiry
to be made after my health through
Jacques, and on the following Sunday
called upon her. / spoke no word.
ventured scarcely to raise my eyes, but
would willingly have thrown myself 8
thousand times into fire or water tc
again draw upon me the solicitous glance
Of the beautiful maiden.
I'm the evening I invented for myself
The most marvellous heroic deeds where
with l would fain have aroused her as
constituent and compelled her admira-
lion. Anything else l neither desired
nor expected. The unconscious dawn of
love in the heart of youth belongs with
Its peculiarities only to pure childhood
''The young heart is foolishly happy in
sacrifice, quietly content and blindly
sonceited and vain. 1t cannot yet love,
It needs but to be loved and admired; to
bestow happiness is not its object, and
Ehe only joy it knows is q blissful un-