Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1896-12-16
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-Up-to-Date.
Mother-Johnny, why did you not tell
me that you were naughty at school?
Johnny-'Tisn't best to tell women ev-
erything.-Boston Transcript.
The young man who is anxious to lay
the world at the feet of the girl he
adores. three months after he marrles
her isn't willing even to lay the carpet.
-Yonkers Statesman.
"Bixby has given up learning to play
chess" TOO much for his mental cali
ber?" "No, he hurt his jaw trying to
pronounce the names OF the leading
players. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
st is shameful that the States have
to legislate about women's theater
hats" WHY" "Well, 1t shows how
little influence individual men have
with their wives. Chicago Record.
Artist fiatter myself this last pic
ture of mine is an excellent one. An
other Artist-My dear fellow, you don't
fatter yourself half as much as you
fiatter the picture.-Roxbury Gazette.
"This," said he, as he inhaled the
balmy October air, sis Indian summer"
II always maintained" she replied,
that the Indians were capable of good
work If given the chance. Chicago
News.
Smith, see that bullet from one
of those new rifles Will kill six men,
standing one behind another. Thomp-
son-You don't say? In that case n
man might just as well go to the front.
Puck.
Bobby-Ma, you said that | wasn't to
eat that piece of cake in the pantry
because 1t would make me sick. Moth
er-Yes, Bobby. Bobby (conyincingly)
But. ma, it hasn't made me sick.-An-
swers.
"Here | am" remarked the India
rubber man. But no one seemed to pay
any attention to him until he eoled
himself up into n four-in-hand and tri-
umphantly shouted: Here l am knot"
New York Journal.
Little Ethel wonder why men like
to talk about their old school days?
Little JOHNNY s'pose after they got
growed up they is always tryin' to find
out where the teacher lives, so they can
lick him.-Comic Cuts.
"Mrs. Digby has a husband that real
ly thinks something of her." What
1.f
ting to win hat for himself on the
election, he bet new bonnet for his
wife"-Chicago Record.
A forced convert.-"Say, Weary, wor
are you walkin' round in yer bare foots
fer? "Tm trying dis yere new Kneipp
cure" "Wot fer, Weary?" "'Cause
some dingblasted snoozer stole me
shoesw-Cleveland Plaindealer.
"This honey doesn't look to be pure"
said the cautious grocer. But, man."
earnestly replied the apiarist, sit has
10 be pure. You wouldn't expect man
In the bee line to be crooked; now,
could you Indianapolis Journal.
"Can you support my daughter in the
style to which she is accustomedT'
asked her father. "Pretty nearly" re-
piled the suitor. "Of course l can't
keep up the engagement luxuries have
given her forever. er."-Harper's Bazaar.
"Pve noticed an Indian hanging
around the entrance for several days"
said the theatrical manager. "Do you
/ I. Tea -rt. oil
that he's a scalper," replied the ticket
agent. philadelphia North American.
First Student-What makes you look
so melancholy? Second Studens-I have
been fooled 1 asked my father to send
me sixty marks to pay my tailor, and
few days later l received the-ra-
ceipted tailor's bill!'-Fliegenle Blaet-
ter.
Father-Wait year, my son, and you
may feel very different. Son (conf-
dently)-I've tested my love for Miss
Higgins thoroughly, and l know it can
not change. I've played golf with her,
and | still want her for my wife.
Household Words.
"Well,' remarked the wife of the
man who had changed his mind about
coming to Congress, 'you have a clear
conscience, anyhow" Il know that,
was the comfortless reply; "but II clear
conscience isn't what l was running
r."-Washington Star.
I'm an In the dark about how these
bills are to be paid" said Mr. Hardup
to his wife. "Well, Henry" said she,
as she pulled out yellow one and laid
1t on top of the pile, you will be If
you don't pay that one, for that's the
gas ill."-Washington Capital.
Mrs. Brown-Did you have Il good
time at the party last evening: Mrs
Black-Not at all. 1t was awfully dun
We sat there like mumchances and no
body had hardly a word to say. We
couldn't get anybody to play on the
Biano, you know.-Boston Transcript