Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1896-08-08
THE THOMPSON STREET b.
CYCLE CLUB.
Written for The Evening Star by N. Quad.

written Tor The Evening Star by III. Quad
"Gemlen of de club" said President
Toots. after the routine business had been
cleared away at the last regular meeting
hev to announce de fact dat a sartin'
member OF dis club has rir up to a Queshun
OF privilege. Dat means dat he wants to
reopen subjick disposed OF at a former
meetin. De name of de NISSAN who has
riz up am Silverplated Henderson, an de
subjick am. Should Preachers Of de Gospel
Ride de Bike? We had de queshun befo'
us on two occashuns. an arier a full an
free debate 1t was decided dat Il didn't do
any moral harm fur a preacher to ride de
wheel. Bruider Henderson wasn't hesh
dat eavenin'. an he now demands de right
to submit sartin statistics which he has
gathered up."
The Said stntistfcs.
The secretary then read the statistics.
as follows:
Rev. John Coontrce OF Kentucky was a
pillar OF the church. and had saved ten
thousand souls: after four lessons on the
bike he tabbed a hog with a pitchfork.
kicked a mule over a fence and pounded
his wife almost to death with a bed Stat.
Now I'm Jail and hollering for gore.
Rev. Chillblain Green OF Virginia took
two lessons on the bike at q camp meeting.
and then turned to and tore down seven
preachers. Taken to jail. but Il was the
general opinion that he was possessed by
Rev Chuckalong Jones of Ohio who
was known for eighteen years the Vol
cano Exhorter' and his voice when singing
or praying could be heard three miles
against the wind. took a spin on a bike
down a long hill. ard after he came to he
set fire to a church and went into the bust
ness OF selling root beer.
Rev Greentree Wharton of Indiana was
SO good that he wouldn't eat Strawberries
on Sunday and stopped his clock at sunrise
so as to Civ" II a rest on the Lords day.
stranger left bike with him for three
days and Satan impelled him TO ride It. Is
now in jail. charged with seven different
crimes. and. IL he escapes hanging will be
maniac all his life
Only sample Cases.
Brother Henderson. in arising to defend
his statistics. stated that they were only
sample cases culled at random from hun
dreds which could be found In the daily
papers. How on earth the club could have
debated this question and overlooked these
statistics was more than he could account
Tor. Here was matter concerning the
very foundations OF morality and society.
and yet the club had passed it over as il 1t
was of no more account than voting the
sum of - cents to buy a rabbits foot.
He had understood that certain members
opposed the use of the bike by preachers
on the ground that IT detrected from the
dignity of the cloth and lowered their
standard. while others had vigorously de-
| MED that such was the case. He had come
to the meeting loaded with big gun for
bar and small gun for woodchuck. He
would now fire of his small gun:
THE Rev. Caesar Higginbottom OF ILL.,
| nois, after five lessons on the bike. went
around pinching the sisters ears and pat
ting them on the back. and one of them
put his eye out with the ferrule OF blue
cotton umbrella.
THE Rev. Moses Skupanong OF New
Jersey took two lessons on the bike and
was the hired girl. When he discovered
the fraud he broke her jaw and was sent
to jail for thirty days"
Were Not These Enoughs
Brother Henderson said he could go on
with these statistics until night faded into
daylight; but were not these enough? Did
the club want anything further to satisfy
the most capricious member that IL had
taken a wrongful position. and could not
get out of II too soon? He was willing to
Gee preachers swing the club put up the
bells, jump the bar or ride buckng mule
and he didn't know that il would do any
harm for preachers to put on the gloves
and scrap little but for riding a bike
nit,
Professor Hindfoot, who had been one
CT the preachers champions at the other
might be decided in the negative. He was
even then giving preacher lessons in
the art. and the idea that the man might
suddenly hop of the saddle and kick a
dog or throw stones at a church almost
paralyZed him
Several others spoke to the same effect
and the question being put to a vote IL
was unanimously resolved that no MEM
Der Of the cloth should tackle the bike
until II had been ascertained what was
wronG with it.