New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-03-21
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.

There Is go great dearth of young women in
the Northwestern Provinces OF Canada that many
young there find It impossible to get married
Earth-Aren't you going TO kiss him. George?
brCther Of, Of The Mo;mer ecWhy not STICK pin
for me kissing him.-undanapolis Journal.
A toilet club for the OF dogs has been opened
IN Bond-st London. and they say II Is an inter-
esting experience TO go through the spenddly
fitted up room devoted TO the shaving and sham
pooling OF pet dogs while little cold. hungry and
homeless boys and girls are trudsins through the
street outside
Fully Defined -Bobbie-Popper. what is bach
MIR Wallace-Er-why- old maid with money
guess( Cincinnati Enquirer.
guest in a Boston hotel while going down the
elevator remarked TO the colored elevator man:
81 want TO go to the wharf where the tea was
thrown overheard" WELL" said the man. looking
mystlhed. you'd better inquire at the office;
reckon that was before | came here; I've only been
In Boston about a year.!
peda. said the woman OF the house, but II you
have got any nice book for chil children; .,...
h book At our hSase SSns They sit
Heard in the Foyer.-"Is that stunning woman
YES"
Grass or turf?'
Neither, clover-her husband has gone to Chi
cago for week"
Dickory. dckory docis.
The mouse up the clock;
Then the clock struck oft and shocking;
And rant fairly Jew
Ii worked In rcd and blue
On the side of Sister Kate's silken stocking
-(Washngton Times.
Many years ago Barney Barnato rented a little
house In one Of the frontier towns OF South Africa
After a time however. he quarreed with his land
lord and was ordered to leave 1t. Then he got
even with the landlord by inserting the following
advertisement In the local paper: Wanted, by a
gentleman who agreed to leave dwelling occupied by
him In condition In which he found 1t, 10000 lively
black beetles
Crimsonbeak-Do you know Puckerton, the cor
netist?
We'll you must be frightfully bad shot."-Yon-
kers Statesman
1t IL generally supposed that educational test
for immigrants would make most against mmi-
grants from Southern Europe. But II the returns
OF illiteracy from the last general elections in
Great Britain correct the test would bear heav-
ily against the Irish The number of illiterates
among the voters In the various constituencies was
given as follows: English counties. In 30; English
boroughs. In 1850; Welsh counties, In 80; Welsh
boroughs. in 70; Scotch counties, In 80: Scotch
boroughs. in 100; Ireland. In s.
Not the largest Circulation in the world.-A
newspaper winds up the announcement OF n charity
concert to be held at OF the cafes in the town
a. follows:
I'VE would urge all readers to book their
places IN advance owing 10 the small size OF the
room. which Is only capable of accommodating
about fifty persons lie Figaro.
THE Kennebec Journal tells OF enterprsing
sewing machine agent who recently found a house
In a neighboring town where there wasn't a sew
Ing machine. The occupant of the dwelling was an
old bachelor. but this In wise daunted the re-
sourceful man OF many manners He sat down be-
eide that bachelor and did not leave him until the
poor man admitted that II he could have a woman
to run the sewing machine he would like one This
the agent interpreted to mean both woman and sew
ing machine; so he rose up and went forth. with
the result that within six weeks there was one
less maiden lady. one less bachelor and one more
sewing machine In that neighborhood. The woman
had been waiting for to speak right out
Her Presence Of Mnd.-"Rose's marriage Is off,"
How embarrassing. Her wedding Invitations
were out"
Yes but she .iuet called shsn "a aAl made h .
o'clock tsa."-lChicaxo Record.