Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-06-11

n0tnlnS OUT snop. nhSio "'"VS
man. ~ ~,
Mrs. Nodd-I gave my husband a
beautiful pipe today. Mrs. Todd
Which room are you going 20 hang IL
in?-Judge.
"Cncle Bob, what Is a pedestrian"
"why, he's the fellow who makes
row when bicycle runs over him
Chicago Record.
Husband-Do you know. my dear,,l
never get tired of looking at that pho
tograph of you? Wife-Why don't You
have it framed and hung up In the
club?-Life.
"De man dat likes is own converse
ton too WELL" said Uncle Eben, "gin-
orally gifts err chance s0onah or later ter
m'nopolize de Observation-Disclosures
Star.
Among the Bohemians.-"Where do
you dine tonight ~ do not dine-and
you?" "Nor do l." Every good Let
us dine together."--Courier des Etats
Unis. a3 sg0se
''Then you didn't intend asking Marie
to be your bridemaid?" mo. Jack
used to be engaged to her. and the dear
boy is so observation-disclosures
Record. Eet So
Teacher-Now, here Is an example In
mental arithmetic. How old would q
person be who was born in 1868? Tom
my-Please, mum, was II q man or .
woman?-Judge.
Gawge-How much does your bicycle
weigh? Cholly-Fifteen pounds, the
agent said; but SO long as the last in
stallment isn't paid, it weighs about
two tons on my mind.-Somervill Jour.
nal.
"The Camel says he's self-made AMI
NAL" said the Monkey to the Elephant
"How did he get that idea into his
head?" asked the latter. "Well, he says
he humps himself.-Pttsburg Chroni-
cle-Telegraph.
"Dah's a good deal dependin' on de
way err man applies is inergies," said
Uncle Eben. "De bass drummer often
uses up mob muscle on one chune dan
de fust-fiddler does on half-a-doen."-
Washington Star.
''The parlor was mighty silent last
night when that fellow was in there"
"Was 1t, papa p" Eyes. should think
Billie Mckinley was calling on you"
"Why, papaY Had nothing to say"
New York Herald. s5.
II always eat cheese with pie" re-
marked Gaswell to Dukane, as they
lunched together at help-yourself
hashery. 1T is generally regarded as
the proper antidote," replied Dukane.
-Pittsburg Chronicle.
SL,- have often wondered what
the wild waves are saying. He-Judg-
ing form their roar l should say they
were joining in the general kick against
the high prices at this resort.-Philadel-
phia North American.
Watts-I saw your friend Abbott this
morning. Potts-Abbott? Who told
you he was my friend? 1 haven't bit
Of use for him. Watts-Oh, you haven'ti
Then, Of course, he isn't your friend
Indianapolis Journal.
'Do Algernon and Maud still quar-
rel?' mo; they haven't had an angry
word for two years." "Good. I'm so
glad. What brought about the changer"
'They stopped speaking to each other
altogether" w oonsocket Patriot
Twynn-I should think that stutter-
ing man would naturally be an excel
lent grammarian. Triplet-I don't see
what that has to do with 1t. Twynn-
Well, he would be familiar with the
parts Of speech.-Judge.
81 didn't sleep wink last night; that
Tugby baby cried all the night before"
How did that keep you awake last
night" you see, I waited until the
Tugbys got to bed, and then played
on my cornet until daylight. Chicago
Record.
Hungry Higgins don't believe I
could walk a mile day without q
drink, could you? Weary Watkins
No, couldn't walk a mile without q
drink, though could walk ten miles
to get one. Queer, amt it?-Indianap-
oils Journal. H
George-Whew! What can be- the
matter? Telegram says ''come home I'M
mediately." George Crushing into his
suburban home one hour -later)-Tell
me quick, my dear. What Is it? Young
wife-The baby said Mamma
Brooklyn Life.
Lady with ApenstockrIs can never
reach the top OF this nfouHtain. Guide
But, madam, see-there are those la
dies on the summit. Lady-Yes, know;
but they are Chicago women who live
in the top stories in apartment build
ings.-Chicago Record.
Wheeler-Saw a thrilling thing to-
day. Runaway horse went tearing along
the sidewalk out in the edge of town
and nearly ran over half-dozen chill
dren before he was stopped. Walker
/ guess the fool beast thought he was q
bicycle. -Indianapolis Journal.
What do you think Of my work with
the camera?" asked tie 5oung mak,
who Is an enthusiastic amateur photog-
rapher. Its splendid in its way" re-
piled the girl who means well. Its bet
ter than any Of the professional carl
caturists can do."-Washington Star.