The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1896-03-16
CHAPTER VIII.

CHAPTER VIII.
''Boltons," South Kensington-g en-
orally known as 'The Boltons-Was,
in the year of grace 1860, one OF the
fashionable localities Of London. The
MacIanes, DESTROYS of mixing with
fashionable society in London, had
chosen a house in '"The Bottoms" for
their ha bitation.
Both George and David Maclane
were suffering from what in later
day Americanism, is generally term
ed ''swelled head. And, although
they could not divest themselves Of
the traces of their Western origin, any
more than the leopard can change his
spots, both uncle and nephew Strove
hard to ape London fashion and FASH
ionables.
1t must be admitted that London
fashions and fashionab les put them
selves out of the way to give a great
deal of encoura cement to the Maclanes.
London fashions and faShiOnableS re-
quired a yearly renewal of the supply
of lions to their social menagerie.
Now, real, big lions were scarce, and
often very shy; therefore, London
fashions and fashionables had some
times to content themselves with a
Wretched, staryeling semblance of the
noble beast, and, as long as pretense
was furnished by lions skin and
name, London fashion and faShiona-
bles were often compelled to ignore
that an ass'S body was covered by a
yellow hide. 1t must be confessed that
London fashion and fashionables over
looked the defects of their once-caught
lions with ready alacrity, and in the
most amiable way threw dust in their
own eyes by discovering all sorts Of
virtues to which their newly-caught
beast could lay but little claim, and by
accepting, upon the merest hearsay, as
gospel truth and by heralding to the
world with trumpet blasts every bah
bled statement that could possibly
bring it credit.
In the case of the Maclanes, the Lon
don fashion and fashionables showed
some portion of reason in their mad
ness, through the fact that both the
MaclaneS were manageable and were
wealthy. Now, a lion in fashion is a
desirable beast. A wealthy lion be-
comes a dream of loneliness. But
manageable wealthy lion-ye gods
and little fishes, where shall I find
adiectives and adverbs sufficiently to
portray the estimation in which he is
held by Tyburnia, Belgravia and May
fair?
1t was but natural that, in the midst
of all this, the Maclanes should be
spoiled, if the comparative humanizing
Of two men creatures can be termed
deterioration.
If any of the traders at the frontier
stations could have come across the
Maclanes in their London garb they
would have rolled all over the floor in
fits of laughter. Both George and
David initiated the London dandy.
David was waging continual warfare
upon a refractory eye-glass that would
not fulfill the purpose for which 1t
was bought, and stick in it's owners
eve. The tightly-ftting frOck coats OF
the Victorian period proved sad
instruments of torture to the two
Westerners. who had been accustomed
to wearing the loosely-htting garments
of the prairieS. Both of them SpOrtcd
tasselled canes, and both Of them had
made ndeavors-destined to be sad
failures-to mix their Rocky Mountain
twang with the "haw, haw,' which at
that time was fashionable in Pail
Mall. London society has accepted the
Maclanes as lions upon the mere eXh1-
bition Of their bankers pass books,
and upon the publication of their cata-
logue of virtues by society papers, like
"Albert Gate" Society journalism in
those days had none of the stings of
it's more modern and more vigorous
namesake 1t was good-natured, kind
~ and strictly laudatory. Its purpose
was to extol the virtues of English so
ciety, and to make English society
feel happy all round. Society journal
ism discovered all sorts of virtues for
the Maclanes, and, as no harm was
done thereby to anybody, the result
appeared eminently satisfactory to all.
Many and various had been the as
saults by maidens and matrons upon
the single blessedness of George and
David Maclane. High-born ladies We'd
with one another to draw the lions in
to the nets they were spreading for
them. As we have seen, no less d
person than the only daughter of the
MARQUIS of Glendale consented to link
her name to that Of the young Ameri-
can, and all went swimmingly for
poor Dick Ashland's assassins until
they were frightened nearly out of
their senses by their sudden meeting
with Lord Cleye.
A guilty conscience had dealt lightly
by the two wretches. As a matter OF