New-York tribune., 1896-09-27
CHRISTENING SUNDAY.
THE HuMoRs OF AN INFANrrLE FELL

The uneven grassed space shaded by the church
is white this afternoon with gorgeousy apparei'eo
babies who stare ,fxedy at the sky ana sno" no
signs OF nervousness at the important ceremony :"
which they are about to play lead. Now ana ass,"
they arouse themselves. frown critically at c's
Matthews, and punch their mothers In the eye io'
fun; and for this they are-if the parent De a"-
noyed-shaken or II the parent be grained. tneS
are tossed up and down. and the delighted parens
says "Dd-ums hit ums mamma In the eye' tnen.
/ I'm shall hit ums mamma In the eye tno ooo."'
| boy II um likes. Do II adam Ana wnen '"o
clever pugist essaytng to perform the feat AGAIN.
and missing his parent hits himself on the nose n
screams a good deal and is only pacihed wnen a"
mother succeeds In deluding him into the idea tnas
| the church Is n railway engine. II would De "rons
10 assume that all the babies here Tor the pu'
pose OF being presently christened. The mature IN
fnnts of as much as a year old have been Drought
apparently with view Of giving their Juniors
good send-on. and by their presence to proner en-
couragement.
We'll we've 'sd argument about IL. mo
and my usband and I've been all along IN iaso.
OF Julier Maud but he-hes awfully od-fasn'onea
in some Of his idcas-and he's stuck to Marina De
cause he's got aunt Martha But az '''' ''''''
that's nothing TO go by
Nice to have the name andeh oo""' "'01o'''
from generation to-
"Oh. we'll" The young matron. jogging her oa"S
up and down I'm way that / cannot tnihk s'ves
| the baby any real lasting pleasure, speaks
somewhat tartly finding even at this stage ooJec-
| tions. IF you go on like that why youd
never have anything fresh. Now Julier Is a name
that sounds very nice think and when shes
grown up she can't turn round on us ana say we vo
| 'ampered her by giving her a silly name Ana
Maud
"Nford's all right" The lady releases her NV
year-od boy the better to enjoy the conversation.
roiJ onf m nil
under his age. "Mord. think. Is reeiy very
| pretty name Come into the garden, Mord.'
Names In the song you know.
well at any rate we argued It out. me and my
'usband and talked up hill and down dale; ana a'
last he says Oh he says. ave your own waS
about IT, he says only for goodness sake DO ieavs
| off 'srping the question And trumphant'yI
| "Juer Maud she's to be- please goodness, In aoous
'alf an hour or so. And don't they keep you walt
| ing time? Why. when I brought my third ere -
| An important bustling little old lady In Grape
bonnet appears at the porch. and outsiders on tne
| pavement who are looking through the ratings
quicken their interest The important old iady
| looks round at the assembled mothers. who rush
| toward her. and points sternly a lean brown FORE
finger at two These come obediently from the
crowd with their friends. and assuming an appro-
| pirate look of solcmnity. sniff and go into the
| church. The important little old lady. being ap'
peaed to by other waiting parents. remarks
sharply that they must all take their turn. and
| that neither she nor the .urate is made OF cast
| ron and probably will be II christeners
will all of lump in this way adds the oid
lady wrathfuy). why they must put up with II.
| that's all. And the old lady, her Grape bonnet
| shivering with determination. goes.
| Yes" With correct pride In answer 70 a COM
| pliment from another parent Eyes. it Is hne
| child certainly. Six weeks
| "Only six weeks" with fattering amazemeno.
six weeks come this evening".
Why I'm sure I've babies at six months
| not half
| "I know Everybody says the same. Talk Of the
| neighborhood OF course its early days yet; but
| think it's going take after my husband ana Do
| tall The short mother mods up to tall weeoy
young man who stands shyly near. looking as
| though he wished there were other men present 10
| give him company "All his family are tall Quite
| conspicuous. in fact some of them.
Hes got his fathers nose" remarks the COM
pimentary lady The complimentary lady smiles
strenuously at the placid baby and speaks to IL
THE sossy icke boy. he is. he's dot his fassers
own ickle nose-posey he has" Mods her head
archly at the astonished. wondering infant. On
| yes. he has, the sossy icke boy.
| She's not little boy remarks the short
mother with some auster!ty, she's little gEi: gr
my side Of the family than his. Don't you think 80
| yourself. Robert?
Still" she says sharply. you've got common
sense / spose. You're not quite fool
Robert from his emlnence half agrees to this sug-
gestion and the complimentary stranger hastens to
| make up the ground which she feels that she mas
"Of torse she's a ickle dir. Such sossy tickle
dirl il is Sossy. sossy sossy sossy icke .dirl.".
The infant is a demure young lady in regal Kind
farns Di psiSssT Ssr ny ana little head away and
she shy. then? So. ums shall. So ums sail be shy:
tickle the infants tiny woollen shoes in a way that
causes it to sneer contemptuously. Creepy mouse.
Come on, Robert The short mother wisely in
terferes Don't stand there e. Ike @ great M gawk @ % ou,
don't care bit whether we women.folk work our
why, amt / offered to take it two or thres
'',1s "And pretty awkward way you've got OF old
ing the dear little thing that you have took
her Here! Hand her back You give me tn"
A sound Of screaming baby. who seems to be
having spirited discussion with the curats on nrst
| through the open doors OF the church and ANXIOUS
resting now the III nat baSres an
something hush their infants assidnonsy 70 psevems @
nose that will require lot OF training in order to
| get into shape does indeed join In, and makes so
neen through with increased curiosity The purple
faced baby is treated in a dozen different ways: Is
spmothered on it's mothers bodice. is beamed at
by sys0 .s .seD aSssns
casually at the iron gates his presence is at once
utilized by the aonnsr spesSus co%us s!ds5' sor him.
L go humorously entering INTO the S scheme men Uy
about" the purple-faced baby ceases instantly ite
| uproar resumes more reasonable complexion ana
Affects to be deeply Interested In the artistic quail
tiles of its mothers brooch. Some dispute arises
near the porch between two mothers as to the re-
! snectiye weights Of their offspring, and the two
| babies are passed round to jury OF matrons. and
| these handle the competitors with an acute air
much as though they were selecting poultry. One OF
| the Jury points out with some bitterness that OF
! course there's no automatic machine here by which
| the question might be definitely settled. When
| Won don't want them adds the jurywoman. they
| are ali over the shop" Babies come out of the
| church now invested with names Of their own; tho
| Important old lady in the Grape bonnet has beck
| oned TO nearly all OF her clients and the audience
| outside the railings begin TO think of tea.
| Come on old girl. You don't want to stand gas
| ing al them ugly faced little kids any longer"
| The middle-aged wife sghs as she turns away
| from the iron ratings and takes her husbands