Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-08-27
SPINNING WHEEL.

SPINNING WHEEL.
Isn't it delightful to know that it's
getting cooler:" said the woman who
any hour of the day "Oh, don't
KNOW" ''Why, you don't mean to say
tnat you like the temperature as high
as II has been!'' mo, l don't enjoy
lot weather. But 1 kind O. hate to see
1T get COOL LAND sakes! 1t takes
all kinds of people to make a world!'
Its mostly OH my husbands account
mat don't care much for the cool
wave. You see. as long as it stays hot
with. the weather. And I'd rely rather
hear him go on about it than not. But
Just as soon as it eases UP he'll return
to his old subjects He'll begin to say
things about the coffee, an the way
the egg are cooked, an the looks O the
house. just as usual. | don't enjoy
tile perspiration and the risk of sun
stroke: but l must say that, with all its
drawbacks, a hot spell kind O seems like
vacation to me- Washington Star.
Observation-Disclosures you go back you
must go to the roof garden and see the
dancing bear" ~
Quakertown Delighted! But -
heavens and earth-yOu don't mean to
say the authorities don't require even
bronze paint"'-New York Press.
Have you ever eaten table d'hote din
ner backward? If not, try it. The idea
that the French know how to arrange a
course dinner so that one course after
another will set well on the stomach is
declared by an expert to be all wrong.
The idea that soup has to be eaten first
and coffee swallowed last has taken pos
session of the majority of people, and
it is hard thing to convince the or
binary table dhote fcnd that it is just
as safe to start with small cafe noir,
play Il slice of ice cream and a piece
of brie cheese next, and then dash into
Il salad and roast Still it is all right
it goes just the same. The waiter finds
it hard to get used to the reversed order
but even if the tip is reversed and played
first even he will understand that it is
give you an appetite, the cheese will add
to it, and the salad will simply aggravate
your desire to eat. And if you are ill
afterward you may consider yourself an
exception in proof of the rule.-New
York Journal.
An old fellow who had recently buried
quaintance who. unaware of his be-
Cap'n Plowjogger?" WAL" reolied
the captain, with solemn not to say
sad countenance--"waal, to tell the
trewth, I'm kinder out of wives just
now."-New York Tribune. u,
The laird had invited q party of Lon
don men 20 shoot over the covers. and
among the number was a young .cockney
who was making his debut as a sports.
man. Old Donald. the keeper, had
been told 20 look after the latter, but
it was a hard job, as the youth paid
little heed to what the watchful Donald
said, and blaZed away right and left
against the rules of true craftsmanship.
At last an ill-directed shot from young
Nimrod's gun found target in the meth
err region of one of the gillies. Donald
sprang forward. snatched the dangerous
weapon out of the erring sportsman's
hands and. pointing at the wounded gill
lie who was making for home, holding
his hand on the wounded part, ex-
claimed:
'sSee what we've din. We dunderheid. 1t
jist as lif might haze been ane o the
dugsv'-Scottish Nights.
Curious Investigator-'Wh do you
prefer, my good man-beer or whiSky!'
Dismal Dawson-''Which you got?'-
Indianapolis Journal.
These tender words on the death of Il
beloved citizen We're found in the local
newspaper at Bowie, Ariz.: Death loves
a shining mark and she hit dandy when
she turned loose on jim.
"John, where's your daddyg'
"He's out yander gettin beat for cor
Oner.'
..Seein' how close he kin come ter bein'
IAN Bin-where's hep
s'Wel, Bill don't mount ter much, an
I've hearn tell they're gwine ter send
him to Congress ter get shet of him
"Nothin'. 1'm the only one in the fam
ily what amt got no eddica ton, so I'm
Il teachin' of school fer livin' At
lanta Constitution.
A tourist i'm Switzerland who was
about to make the ascent of mountain
thought best to ask some questions as to
the capabilities of his guide. ''Is he a
thoroughly ski1lful climber?' he asked
of the hotelkeeper. IT should say so.'
exclaimed the innkeeper. "'He has lost
two parties of tourists down the mount
tain side and escaped without scratch
both times. London Punch.
THE ROOSTER'S PLANT.
Loud shouts the umpire to '"Play BALI!
Before him all should bow;
Yet they obey him not at ALL
Because they don't know how.
A wealthy man, being asked for a sub
scription for AN impecnnious individual
to whom his charity had often been eX-
tended was beginning to think that the