davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
additional guca1.
DORRELlLY.

J. S. Welsh did business in Choke
Tuesday last.
Albert Peterson made several horse
trades the past week.
Mrs. Brennan of Morris was the
guest of Mrs. Conrad Wurm the first
of the week.
It is reported that August Rohren-
bach will invest in a new threshing
machine, and anyone wishing good
job done this coming season will do
we'll to give him call.
Ed. Harstad received severe kick
under the chin last week from horse,
but is improving fast.
John Hilla had one of his arms
badly poisoned last week while hay
ing, but is out at work again.
Mr.. TAFT of Willmar was in town
last Thursday and had lis threshing
rig pulled in here to be repaired.
Conrad Wurm lost valuable dog
last Saturday by being caught with a
mower and having his fore legs cut
off.
A. III. Reker did business in Chokio
last Friday.
Oscar Gustaferson of Stanley, Wis
is visiting friends here and will
remain through threshing.
Westfall & Durbin's Elevator Co.
has changed hands at this place and
in the near future it will be run in
the name of Westfall Elevator Co.
The carpenters are putting on the
finishing touches to the Westfall ele-
vator at this place.
Mrs. Sobec of Morris is the guest of
Mrs. Hilla this week.
John Bruins visited our town Sun
day.
There is a report of a game Of ball
between Donnelly and Macville in the
near future.
John Lee reports having heavy
hailstorm of potatoes, In one night
there was about 80 bushels laying in
one pile on his farm near Donnelly.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
Democratic Convention and Primaries
Official Call.

Official Call.
A Democratic convention for the
county for Stevens, Minnesota, will b.
held on Saturday, the 25th day o.
July, 1896, at the court house in the
Village of Morris, at 2 o'clock in the
afternoon, for the purpose of electing
delegates to the state, congressional
and legislative conventions, and also
to put in nomination candidates fol
the following county Offices: Auditor
Treasurer, Sheriff, Attorney, Register
Judge of Probate, Superintendent Of
Schools, Coroner, Clerk of Court, Sur
veyor and County Commissioners.
The following is the number of del
egates each precinct in the county is
entitled to, viz:
Baker, 2; Donnelly, 3; Darnen, 3:
Eldorado, 2; Everglade, 2; Framnas.
2; Horton, 2; Hodges, 2; Morris, 3:
Moore, 2; Pepperton, 2; Rendsville, 2;
Scott, 2; Synnes, 3; Stevens, 2; Swan
Lake, 2; Village of Hancock, 3; Vii
lage of Morris, 6.
The primaries of election of dele
gates shall be held at 7:3O O'Clock
p. M, and the polls shall be kept open
for one hour on Wednesday, July %,
1896, at the respective voting places
in each of said townships and villages.
J. w. EDDY, Chm
Democratic County Cnmmittnn.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
A Household Treasure.

D. w. Fuller, of Canajoharie, N. Y.
says that he always keeps DR.. Kings
New Discovery in the honse and his
family has always found the very best
RESULTS follow its use; that he would not
be without it, if procurable. &. w
Dykeman Druggist, Catskill, N. Y, says
that Dr.. Kings New Discovery is
undoubtedly the best Cough remedy;
that he has used it in his family for
eight years, and it has never failed to do
ali that is claimed for 1t. Why not try a
remedy so long tried and tested. Trial
bottles free at Krueger's drug store. Reg
ular size Soc. and $1.00.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
NOTICE.
Information
that informs.

If you are going East or South
and want to know what the trip
will cost, when you will reach your
destination, and why you should
take "The Burlington" to Chicago,
Peoria, st. Louis and Kansas City,
write to w. ]. G. Kenyon, G.. T. &
P. A., St. Paul, Mimi, and you~will
receive by return mail letter tell
ing Just Exactly what you
want to know. Reclining Chair
Cars-seats free; Pullman Com
partment and Standard Sleepers;
Dining Cars, serving meals from 25
cents-the combination makes com
fort sure, and it will Suit you.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

Nearly all tobaccos are treated with
sauce before being made up into their
commercial form, says the Boston
Transcript. By this means they are
favored, All tobaccos are doctored.
Sometimes in an Legitimate way for
the purpose of deception. Niter to
make it burn well. All favors are
used and are chosen as matters Of
fancy. But the basis of all sauces is
alcohol in some form, usually rum.
Fathers and mothers, is it not about
time, while the thetemperance people
are agitating the cause, that this ter
rible curse, filthy, polluting, nauseat-
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
Does Your House Need Painting,

Papering or Decorating? If SO call
on Geo Howley, as he is prepared to
give estimates of prices on all work at
the lowest possible figures. He has
also taken into his employee Geo.
Phaylen, who has been connected
with the well-known firm of Lime
men & Locke, of Minneapolis, for a
number of years. All orders will be
promptly attended to.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
Personal.

FREE-64-page medical reference book
to any person afflicted with any special,
chronic or delicate disease peculiar to
and surgeons of the United States, DR..
Hathaway & Co., 20 Dearborn street. Chi CHI.
cago, rn2097
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
Are You Tired

All the time? This condition is a sure
indication that your blood is not rich
and nourishing as it ought to be and as
it may be if you will take few bottles
of the great blood purifier, Hoods Sar-
saparilla Thousands write that Hoods
has cured them of that tired
feeling by giving them rich, red blood
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

The attention of the sheep owners
is called to the advertisement of the
Grand Forks Wooden Mills in another
column. These mills have obtained
splendid reputation throughout the
Northwest, and those having wool to
dispose of will do we'll to write for
samples and prices.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

Ripans Tabules.
Ripans TabuleS cure nausea.
Ripans Tabules: at druggists.
Ripans Tabules cure dizziness.
Ripans Tabules cure headache.
Ripans Tabules cure flatulence.
Ripans Tabules cure dyspepsia.
Ripans Tabules assist digestion.
Ripans Tabules cure bad breath.
Ripans Tabules cure biliousness.
Ripans Tabules: one gives relief.
Ripans Tabules cure liver troubles.
Ripans Tabules: for sour stomach.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
From an Ohio Minister.

I have used DR. Warmers White Wine
of Tar Syrup for sore throat, weak lungs,
coughs, colds, or any diseases of the
kind; it surpasses all other remedies
have tried. With many thanks to the
doctor for his valuable remedy, re,
main, Rev. G. w. Hagans.
CLYDE, O.
Sold by HI. L. Hulburd & Co.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

Here is a fine illustration of the
wicked habit of treating, either intox-
icants or tobacco:
A minister (7) offered a friend a
cigar. The friend said, Il don't
smoke-but | swear some times"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

A. A. Stone will run a bicycle livery
during the coming summer. Three
grades of wheels for sale and high
grade wheel at a medium price. 13tf
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

Any one wishing any typewriting
done can be accommodated by calling
on Otto Sommers, over Larson's store,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

Wall paper from Bets per roll up
fine gilt paper 5cts, for sale by Geo
Howley. Send for sample book.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

Daughters of Rebekah and Eastern
Star emblem pins of the finest kind
at II. B. Lunds.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
To School TeaAhers.

Send your name and address to w. j. c.
Kenyon, Gen. Freight & Pass. Agent,
Burlington Route, ST. Paul, Mimi, and
you will receive each month a bit of read
ing that will do you and your pupils good
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
Lecturer StOddard's Views of the
Grand Canon of the Yellowstone.

Mr.. John L. Stoddard, the most noted
lecturer in America to-day, who is now
spending month in Yellowstone Park
says of that famous resort:
1.-THE sublime scenes of our natural
Wonderland surpass all my expectations
The Grand Canon of the Yellowstone is of
course the climax. AS behold it to-day.
it's long kaleidoscope of varied co1ors, it's
castle and cathedral spires scu1ptured by
nificent cataract, I felt it was a place
where the finite prays, the infinite hears
and immensely looks on"
For further information address Chas.
S. Fee, General Passenger and Ticket
Agent of the Northern Pacific, ST. Paul,
Mimi.
Women who are weak and nervous,
who have no appetite and cannot sleep,
find strength and vigor IN Hoods Sar-
So .oarilla.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

ing, demoralizing, debauching degen-
Grating, devil begotten weed was pro-
hibited as we'll as mustard and this
ties? A curse upon the soil-used
by no other creatures except men and
women.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

Hoods Pills act easily and promptly
on the liver and bowels. Cure sick
headache.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria.
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria.
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

I, Tos. E. Dybdal, Cashier of Citizens
Bank, do solemnly swear that the above
statement is true to the best of my knowl-
edge and belief.
TOS. E. DYBDAL, Cashier.
Correct attest:
H HhkR7P s IaPE6SN' Directors.
STATE OF MINNESOTA, CO
County of Stevens,
Sworn to and subscribed before me this
2lst day of July, 1896.
J. w. G. CURTISS,
jNotarial Notary Public,
| Seal Stevens CO., Mimi.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
REPORT OF THE CONDITION
....OF -.
CITIZENS BANK

At Morris, in the State of Minnesota, at
the close of business on the 18th day of
July, 1896, made pursuant to the call of the
Superintendent of Banks, dated July 18th,
1903.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22

See those elegant ladies' shirt waist
sets at III. B. Lund's
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1896-07-22
WANTED--IO MEN

To solicit orders for hardy nursery
stock, ornamental trees and shrubsS
both city and coLntry work. Big
pay; steady work; good territory
near home.
|. |, MAY & co., st. Paul, Mimi
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
Ii Had His Doubts.

An amusing story Of Ii Hung Chang
is told in official circles Whether or
not it is accurate in all particulars no
one seems to know, but the tale is as
follows: When John W. Foster and
Mrs. Foster were first in China, they
were handsomely entertained by the
vioeroy, and warm friendship sprang
up between the former American secre-
tary Of state and the greatest man of
the eastern world. Then, as now, Ii
Hung Chang was disposed to ask all
manner Of questions, and at the first op-
portunity he asked Mrs. Foster il her
husband was not very great man and
a very rich man In his own country.
Mrs. Foster replied. with becoming
modesty, that Mr.. Foster had held many
high official positions. He had been
minister to Spain, minister to Mexico,
minister to Russia, special envoy to
Spain, and, finally, the greatest honor
being reserved for the last, secretary Of
state, next in the cabinet to the presi-
dent himself. "But Mr.. Foster is not
wealthy. In fact, he is comparatively
poor man." Mrs. Foster frankly ex-
planned. Ii shook his head. "You say
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
Horseless Fire Engines,

1t is proposed to add two horseless
steam fire engines to the equipment Of
the Boston fire department. They were
once tried in New York, but were aban-
doned. Horses, " says The Transcript,
edo not yet take kindly to the steam
roller, and if they should see it plung-
ing madly along our congested streets
at three minute gait, belohing smoke
and flame, their fears would not be
likely to be much allayed. The self pro-
peller ON its travels bears close resem-
blance to the steam roller. The only
city that uses this style of engine to any
considerable extent in the east is Hart
ford. Her Jumbo is well known to
fire departments all over the country.
1t is nearly twice the weight and twice
the price of an ordinary engine, though
its water throwing capacity bears no
such ratio of increase. /"
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

GAS if brick we're lying in my
stomach is the description by dyspepti'
of bis feeling after eating.
This is one of the commonest symptoms
of indigestion. If you have it, take
Shaker Digestive Cordial.
Not only this symptom, but all the
symptoms of indigestion are cured BY
Shaxer Digestive Cordial.
So many medicines to cure this one dis
order. Only one that can be called sue
cessful, because only one that acts in
smile, natural, and yet scientific way
Shaker Digestive Cordial.
Purely vegetable, and containing nc
dangerous ingredients, Shaker Digestive
Cordial tones up, strengthens, and
restores to health all the digestive organs
Sold by druggists, price 10 cents to q
per bottle.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

Mr. Foster has been minister to Mexico,
to Spain. special envoy to Spain and
secretary of state?" "Yes." "And he
is still poor?" eyes, comparatively
speaking" The old viceroy looked Mrs.
Foster in the eye for a moment, and
then, placing his two hands; over. his
nose and one eye, he winked roguishly
with the other optic and Uttered. "A sly
old dog is Lii Hung Chang. Washing
ton Letter in Chicago Times Herald.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

The Darlington, Wis, Journal says
editorially of popular patent medicine
I'VE know from experience that Cham
berlain's Collie, Cholera and DisrrhGs
Remedy is all that is claimed for it, as on
two occasions 1t stopped excrnciating
pains and possibly saved us from an
untimely grave. We would notrest easy
over night without it in the house." This
remedy undoubtedly saves more pain and
suffering than any other medicine In the
world. Every family should keep it in the
house, for it is sure to be needed sooner OF
later. For sale by Geo. M. Andrews,
Druggist,
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
It aoes M1thout saxIng

that when you are suffering from catarrh,
you want relief right away. What is the
use then of experimenting with blood
sscures' upon climatic disease? Use 9
local remedy. Use Ely's Cream Balm
which relieves at once the attacks OF
catarrh and cures chronic cases. This
remedy can be used by all without In.
furious results, 1t contains no mercury
nor injurious drug of any kind.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
He Often Suggests Such Problems.

There is consensus of opinion among
the well informed that the present czar
aims at the maintenance of peace. 1t
remained for the German emperor to
represent him as the crowned provi-
denoe on whose will its preservation
depends. Was it in order that the words
sin complete accord with me- might be
interpolated that this testimony to char
aoter was. SO conspicuously giyen?-
London Standard, d
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

struggle, until the voices of angels and
the voices of our departed kindred and
the welcoming voice of God shall send
the harvest rolling into the eternal tri-
umph, while all up and down the sky
the cry is heard: Harvest homel Har-
vest homep'
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

greatly Shortened. It also promotes the
secretion of an abundance of nourishment
for the child f's
Mrs DORA A. GuTHRrE Of 0akLey, 1pgfqr g.,
Tenn, writes: when / began taking Dr.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription, was not able to
stand on my feet without suffering almost death.
Now do all my homework, washing, cooking,
sewing aud everything for my family of eight.
Your FavQrits Prescription is the best to take
before confiueWeYt or at least it proved 30 with
me. never suffered so little with any Of my
children as ! did with my LAST
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
Cancer
OF the Face.

Mrs. Laura E. Minis, of Dawson, Ca,
says: "a small pimp1e of a strawberry
color appeared on my cheek; it soon
began to grow rapidly, notwithstand-
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

up the case as hopeless. When in
formed that my father had died from
the same disease, they said must die,
as hereditary Cancer was incurable.
cat this crisis, was advised to try
S.S.S., and in short while the Cancer
began to discharge and continued to do
so for three months, then it began to
heal. continued the medicine while
longer until the Cancer disappeared en-
tirely. This was several years ago and
there has been no return Of the disease"
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

Magistrate-If you were innocent, why
did you run away the moment the police
man appeared
Pst-Becaze. Yer Honor, thin cops
do be always arristin' the wrong man.
Harper's Bazaar.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

"Greathead is deep thinker"
"Yes; that'f the effect of early train.
ing"
"How's that?"
"He was born at sea-
"But what had that to do with its'
"He was rocked in the cradle of the
deep, you know. - Washington Times.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
MOTHERS

and those soon to
become mothers,
should know that
DR.. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription robs
childbirth of its tor
lures, terrors and
dangers to both
mother and child, by
aiding nature in pre-
pairing the system
for parturition.
There by labor"
and the period of
coufiueueut are
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

u
eye became terribly
inflamed, and was so
swollen that for quite
a while I could not
see. The doctors
said I had Cancer of
the most malignant
type, and after ex-
hausting their efforts
without doing me
auv good. thew gave
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

mo I'm not we'll enough to run sew
ing machine" "What do you intend
doing this afternoon ?'' 81 believe I'll
take TENN lie run on my BICYCLE"
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
A LITTLE FUN.

a LII L LIE " Nv
Lady-''Lttle boy, isn't that yonr
mother calling your"
Little Boy-"Yes'm
"Why don't you answer her, thenP"
Pops away."-NesO York Weekly.
x*x
McScrocher-"My baby has had the
wind colo for two days"
Skleface-"What caused the troubleP'
McScorcher-''The poor kid tried tn
cut it's tee h on my pneumatic tire. -
Truth
"My husband is such domestic man.
"Reallyp
Yes: he writes me that during my alb
house together. Philadelphia North
american.
*~x
Robbie had been studying his dear old
li4ther's wrinkled face for long
time.
"Well, Bob,' said the old gentleman
"do you like my taceq'
eyes, grandpa," said Robbie; ''t's an
awfully nice face, but why don't you
have it roned2"-Harper's Bazaar.
x**
"Folks dat is allus lookin' fob trouble"
said Uncle Dbsn, shah jess one ting ter
urag erbout. Dey doan' hardly eber git
disappointed. w sAington Star.
nv
"Why do you have concealed orchestra
in your theatre?"
1--WE couldn't afford to have our
musicians identified and butchered on
their way home Ghicago Record
x*x
Wiggie-"Do you believe that Prince
Bismarck is really bona-fide silverite?"
Waggie-"No; only German silver."-
Baltimore Meas.
Reporter-"Did you find out the cause
of that suicide this afternoon?"
| Officer McGobb-"Yis, sor. 1t wor a
rope. "-Lndianapolis Journal.
x~x
Office Boy-'I ould like to 60 to my
grandmother funeral this afternoon
Employer-'If Rusie were going to
pitch I'd go myself. "-Toaon Topics
**x
"And how did you like my predecessor,
King Totem?" asked the missionary.
'He was very nice," returned the can
nibal king, Though little stringy. -
Harlem Life.
"Say, Weary, wot are you walkin'
round in yere bare foots fer?"
Ppm tryin' dis yer new Kueipp cure"
"Wot fer, Weary?"
",Cause some dinbasted snoozer stole
me shoesP'-C Cleveland Plain Dealer.
~
"What is your business, sii?"
81 am political carpenter"
ga political carpenter"
"Yes. sir; l nail campaign EeI."-
| Washington Times.
x*x
"Needy Fickels-Say, Pete, w'ot's
charity?
Flooding Pete-Two cold biskits an a
| cord o. wood.-Iruth.
| ~
Eastern Tourist-Why did they tar and
| feather the parsonP
| Alzali Ike-The durn fool prayed for 9
golden harvest.-Iruth.
x*x
Prospective Suitor-Sir, 1 love you
daughter.
| Her Fsther-Well, don't come to me
with your ubles.-BrOOklyn Life.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
asy to axe
asy to Operate

Are features peculiar to Hoods Pills. Small in
size. tasteless, efficient, thorough. AS one man
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

Gassaway-I am a firm believer in the
free and unlimited coinage of silver, sir;
Grimshaw-Huh. That isn't politics .
it's disease.-Puck
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

"Why under the sun does Whimperly
want divorceP His wife had great
deal of money when he married her,"
Sand she has it yet. That's the W hole
trouble. "-Detr01 Free Press
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

Mama (regarding an elaborate tangle
in EthePs hands)-What are you making,
dear?
Ethel dess rs making a mistake
HGTper's Bazaar.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

Shade Gust in and recognizing former
friend)-Hello! What are you doing here9
Resident Shade - Sorting birthstone
Did you think was here for my health?
Buffalo Times.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

sit is claimed that love levels al
things" sighe1 Mrs. Grumpey.
"But no one in the world ever saw a
lover with level head" sneered Grum-
pey."-Detrot Free Press.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
A Real Blood Remedy,

Cancer is a blood disease, and only a
blood remedy will cure it. S. S. S.
Guaranteed purely vegeta6le) is real
blood remedy, and never fails to per-
manently cure Cancer, Scrofula, Eczema,
Rheumatism or any other disease of the
blood. Send for our books
on Cancer and Blood Diseases,
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23


Mr.. Alkin-"You see things in a diff
ferent light since you married do you
not?"
Mr.. Nuwed-''1 ought to. There were
fifteen lamps among our wedding
presents. Metropolitan Magazine.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

M
Lumpty-Miss Goldie, suppose a man
about my size and age should ask you to
marry him
Miss Goldie-Graoious. Mr.. Lumpty
Do please introduce me to the man.-Er
x*x
Miss Antique-That horrid Jones tried
to kiss me last night after drinking too
much wine at dinner.
Miss Caustique-I was told that he had
signed the pledge this morning Brooklyn
Life.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

Prospective Suitor-Sir, 1 love your
daughter.
Her Fsther-Well, don't come to me
with your Notwithstanding Life.
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

In the first place, / remark, in grace
as in the fields, there must be pillow.
That which theologians call conviction
is only the plowshare turning up the
sins that have been rooted and matted
in the SOUL A farmer said to his indo-
lent son, "There are 500 buried deep
in that field.'' The son went to work
and p1owed the field from fence to fence,
and he plowed it very deep, and then
complained that he had not found the
money. But vA.-l the crop had been
gathered and sold for 500 more than
any previous year, then the young man
took the hint as to what his father
meant when he said there was 800
buried down in that field. Deep plow-
ing for crop. Deep blowing for soul
He who makes light of sin will never
amount to anything in the church or in
the world. If man speaks OF sin as
though it were an inaccuracy or mis-
take instead of the loathsome. abom.
Unable, consuming, and damning thing
that God hates, that man will never
yield a harvest of usefulness.
When was boy, plowed field
with a team of spirited horses. / plowed
it very quickly. Once in while | passed
over some of the sod without turning it,
but I did not jerk back the pillow, with
it's rattling devices. thought it made
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23
pARKER,s GINGER TONIC

Sold by Druggists sent prepaid receipt OF priN
&c., or ST. Inay assorted, except Is 81 size or
DR. HuMPHREYs n AHUAL (Enarged& Revised, 1AIrEuEN
HUMPHREYS MED. co., Ill & 113 William ST. Ncsiore
The Monitor-register., 1896-10-23

"Say, Weary, wot are you walkin'
round in yere bare foots feT?'
Ppm tryin' dis yer new Kueipp cure"
'Wot fer, Weary?"
"sCause some dinblasted snoozer stole
me shoesp'- Cleveland Plain Dealer.