Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-12-05
HOW OLSON SQUARED IT.
BY DAN OUIN.

<'Now I thoroughly saveys," re-
marked the old cattIeman, refectively,
at crisis in our last converse ton when
the talk turned on men of small and
cowardly measure, Il thoroughly
saveys that taste for battle that turks
in the defiles of folks nature like a
wolf in the hills. Which 1 reckons
now that 1, myself, is one of the peace
fullest people who ever beited on gun;
but in my insincts-while L never jcsti-
fes or follows his example, clarly
apprehends the emotions of gent who
convenes with another gent all similar,
an expresses his views of him with
his gun, an Immediately precedes a adj
journment sine die by skelpin' the OPP
position. Sech is human nature onre-
strained, an the same, while deplor-
able, is not Surprisin'.
-But this yere Olson / has in my
ynem'ry don't have no sech manly emo
aions as goes with a gun play. Which
Olson, 1 takes pleasure in sayin', is
4 alien an a rank outsider, an no
more born in this home of freedom
than Mexican. Olson is so cowardly
hes even furtivc; an for n low-fung
zneasly play let me tell you what Olson
does. It's shorcly onery.
at all arises years ago, back in Ten
nessee, an gets it's first start out of
a hawg which is owned by Olson an
is downsd byAG gent named Hoskins-
Bill IIosl1ins. It's this way:
Back in Tennessee, in my drss.-p-
wreathed yooth, when anamiles goes
projectin' about pcrmiscus, q party has
to build his fences bull strong, hawg
tight, an boss high or he takes re-
suits. Which Hoskins don't make his
fences to conform to this ycre roole
none; leastwisc they amt hawg tight
as is shown by one of Olson's hawgs.
1.-THE hawg comes pirootin' about
1Iosliins' fence, an he goes through
easy; an the way that invadin' anamile
turns Bills potatoes bottom up don't
bother him n bit. He shorely loots
Bills lot; that's whatever.
But Bill, perceivin' of Olson's hawg
1ayin' waste his crop, reaches down a
Hawkins rifle, so to the pound, an
stretches the hawg. Which this is
where Bill falls into error. Layin'
aside them deficiencies in Bills fence,
its cl'ar at q glance a hawg can't be
held responsible. Hawgs is ignorant
and tharfore innocent; an while hawgs
can be what Doc Poets calls a casus
lelli, they can't be regarded as u foe
legitimate
t'Now what Bill oughter done. if he
feels like this yere hawg's done put it
all over him, is to go an lay for Olson
Sech action by Bill would have been
some excessive, some high, so to speak
but it would have been line shot
Whereas KILN the hawgs is way te
one side of the mark, an under.
However, as I states. Bill bein' hasty
that away, and incapable of perhaps re
fined reasonin'. downs the pig, an
stands pat on it. waitin' for Olson to fill
his hand, if he feels so moved.
''Now, that's where the cowardly
nature of this yere Olson begins tc
shine. He's ugly es a wolf about Bill
copPerin' his hawg that eway, but he
don't pack the nerve to go after Bill an
make roundup of them grievances
An he amt allowin' to pass it up none
onreverged neither. Now. here's wha
Olson does; he 'sassinates Bills pet rae
coon.
That's right, pard; jest massacre
pore, cOrfidin' raccoon. who don't M
rSore stand in on that hawg KILN o
Bills than me an you-don't even ad
wise it.
<'Now, I allow you saveys all thar il
to know about raccoon. No? Well
n raccoon's like this: In the first plac,
he's plump ingenious. an amt lookin
Tor no gent to hold out kyar6s or ring
cold deck on him. That's straight;
racccon is supplemented that way; an
his impressive trait is. he's meditative
Besides bein' racherally thoughtful a
to his own affairs. I might say raccool
Is heap melancholy-he jest sets tina
an absorbs melancholy from merel
bein' alive.
-But if raccoon is melancholy o
gets wrapped in thought that away. it
after all his own play. It's to his credi
that once when he's tanned he's got
mountainous confidence in men, al
will curl up an go to sleep where you
an shet both eyes. He's plumb trust
full, an moreover, no matter HOY
nournful q raccoon feels. or how plum
melancholy he gets, he don't poster yo
with no yarns.
81 reckon converses with this yer
identical racccon of Bills plenty fire.
queEt when he feels blue an agai
rshcn he's at his gailiest. an he neve
remarks nothin' to me except p'lite ge,
erartics-
-'f this Olson had been dead gam