The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1896-01-10

MS pants, sometimes in Alabama ana
sometimes i'm Florida, and when the
team was finally stopped IL was found
that Herbert had scattered a large sec
ton of his britches in shreds, and
much of his hide all over the south
west corner of his district. One of the
mules got away, and, hangin' one or
the buggy wheels on the Limb of a tree
and leavin' the rest Of the vehicle in
two states, Herbert and Jess tried to
but he refused to tote double, and.
leavin' both of 'em in the sand, he
went across the country after his run
MIN mate.
well, Herbert and Stallins finally
reached house within easy reach of
next days appointment, and put up
for the night, Herbert all the time
carefully keepin' his back away from
the various members of the family un-
til bedtime, when Herbert, too morti-
fed to do so himself, asked Jess IL he
wouldn't try and get a yard or so of
cloth to patch his--Herberts -britches.
There wusn't but one piece of cloth on
the premises, and that was square
of pumpkin yaller calico. but 1T was a
grounding case, and Herbert had to
have ii. So, when they went to their
room, Jess sat UP and talked while
Herbert reseated his trousers.
Next day the campaigners filed
their appointment, Herbert speaking
first. The country people were a little
sore on their congressman, as Stallins
knew, but Herbert didn't, because they
had heard of high living in Washing
ton, silk hats, carriage rides. recep-
lions and one thing and another like
that, and when Stallins was about
winding up his speech he referred to
this objection of Herbert's constituents
that he was putting on too much style
n nd
them and their interests.
THE speakers were performin' on a
platform above their audience, in
which there was a sprinklin' of wimin
folks, Colonel Herbert settin' down and
Jess layin 1t off for all he was worth.
Ladies and gentlemen and friends
and fellow citizens Stallins says, I
come now to a matter personal to our
distinguished representative. Some of
you have doubtless heard 1t said that
he had been putting on a good deal OF
style in Washington and that this was
evidence that he had grown above his
people. But. my friends, you must re-
member that he is your representative,
a congressman from Alabama, and his
position, IL he would represent you
creditably, requires all these OUTLAWS
you may have heard about. And as to
his growing rich, why, Ii takes all of
his salary to fifty represent you, and 1
will demonstrate Ii right here on this
platform. Colonel Herbert, please step
this way
Herbert approached, thinking Stall
Inns was going to ask him about how
expensive 1t was for a congressman to
live in Washington. But instead, Jess
went on, while Herbert had his back to
the audience. L propose to show you,
citizens, that Colonel Herbert is a poor
man
with that Jess stopped little, and,
reaching around Herbert, pulled up the
tails of his coat gently between the
tips of his first finger and thumb and
there stood out that great yaller patch,
like a full moon when just risin in the
fall Jess talkin' all the time:
HE not only is not rich, ladies and
gentlemen, but he is actually so poor
he has to wear patched britches, and
not only that, he had to patch these
himself, for l saw him do it, Then
Jess let the curtain fall on the patch,
while the audience howled. Colonel
Herbert's face glowed like boiled
beet. 1t was so red that 1t actually
Hinged the eastern horizon like early
sunrise, and the veins in his neck
swelled with the modification of the
unexpected exposure. But Jess had
won the day for him.
mo, Herbert didn't come back with
less. He hunted the nearest railroad
station and took the first train for
home"