Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-11-06
Fashions Absurdities.

study. More than eighteen hundred
years ago st. Paul noted its flecting
and tran>ltory nature, in his first let
ter To the Corinthians. What fash
ION was then among the mcrcurial
Greeks, :" i it to-day among al civil
led and cnlightcd nations. And it is
Il notable fact that the more refined
/ people hccomc the more changeiul
and cyanc-crnt are their fashions.
! But probably the most curious feature
observable III the myriad fashions Of
| tn" day l. the strange tendency to
either Guido dame Nature or pursue L
course Numerically contrary to her
teachings. Modern courtship has
been facctiouSly, but most truthfully,
defined to be, THAT interesting per
lod before marriage when both parties
are striving to deceive each other
So l. il with modern fashion; all lis
phases are deceptive, purporting to be
what they are not, and proclaiming
to the world something which has not
shadow OF truth. This principle is
>trikingly cxempliticd by the present
style OF ladies and gentlemen shocs-
the silly, tapering toe of the shoe
Now the average width of lady's
foot across the toes is put down by
artists as being about four inches,
While the average width of the sole
OF a lady's shoe at its widest point
from the heel, is less than three
inches. Thus is it the behest of FASH
ion that Il woman must cram her
half to two inches narrower than
the normal width of the flesh and
blood of which it is composed. The
toe OF a fashionable shoe as displayed
i'll the shop windows is not so wide as
the toe OF a child year old. In all
probability, had the human foot been
so created, that it tapered to point
at the toes, fashionable shoes to day
would have been several inches wide
at the points; that is on the assump-
ton that fashion goes by contraries.
By similar course of reasoning, it
is logical to conclude that had wo-
men been created with spindle-shaped
waists, they would have padded the
middle of their bodies and thus car
ried out the iniquitous scheme of de-
ception.
If the brunette thinks she is little
too dark-skined, she powders and eats
arsenic if the blonde thinks she
looks too much like whitewashed
fence, she daubs her face with rouge
and stains her eyebrows, and thus
carry out the work of giving the lie to
Nature. Light hair must be bleached
1t is humiliating fact that the in
ventive faculty is taxed to its utmost
and millions of dollars are expended
every year in order that the human
form may cater to the whims of style
and fashion.
The writer knows a woman, leader
of fashion, whose small toe on each
foot laps over and rides on the next
larger toe; and this sinful distraction
was caused, as the lady herself alleges,
by the wearing of shoes much too mar
row for her feet.
Men themselves are not wholly ex-
empt from the foibles which are here
ascribed to women; for there are men
who paint their noses and dye their
hair, to say nothing of pinching their
feet in tight boots and shoes. David
reverently declared that he was "fear-
fully and wonderfully made" What
would be the exclamation of the Psalm
list could he wake up to-day and take
in the contour of a swell dude and
woman of the period, as they disport
themselves in the marts of fashion?
THE Olympiam says that relieable
gentleman counted but 313 torches in
the Peoples procession Saturday night,
which prompts the inquiry, now that
the election is over, "What's the use
of lying" the chief reliance of the
goldbug party. The People received
from Tacoma 600 torches and they
were all used, besides hundred or
more formed in line without torches.
The Peoples procession was, at least
twice the length of the Goldbug pa
rade; it was as full of enthusiasm
as it rival was devoid of all expression
of zeal; the audience at the theater
numbered 1000, while the Republi-
cans gathered in room at the hotel
did not number over 800; and the vote
at the polls, probably the best index of
relative strength gives the People from
200 to 400 majority in the county.
Figures, ifquoted properly, will not lie.
THE performance of Fabio Romani,
at Olympia Theater, Wednesday night
was delightful change from the usual
class Of performances to which the
public have been SO long treated.