Evening journal., 1896-09-19


LATTER HAS A GREAT ADvAN-
TAGE.
Coroner Stidham is a lddder. So is
Tom Russell Magistrate Sasse is not
exactly a kidder but he owned a pet
goat when he was a boy, and the ef-
feet OF the intimate association has
never entirely worn off. w. L. Mar
tin is victim, but he has a faculty of
playing off kidder against lidder
whenever he gets an opportunity.
A day or two ago Coroner Stidham
walked up to Martin, who was con-
versing with Magistrate Sasse in front
OF his office on Shipley street, just be-
low Fourth.
Bill" said Stidham, 81 heard a man
talking dresadfully about you this
morning"
what did he say?" asked Martin.
He said you were a bad man; that
your word wins no good that you were
an unmitigated liar, and he wouldn't
believe you ON your OATH" replied the
coroner in his dry fashion.
"Who in tue world was it?" asked
the astounded Martin.
tom Russo H." said Stidham.
"Thunderatic n" said Martin, who
Immediately sn ieled n mouse
Just ther Mas gistrate Sasse saw Tom
Russell enter b; lxters place opposite.
"Stdham, just step into my back of
fee there and axe a seat" said the
magistrate. II want to talk over a
matter of businC ss with you, and use
you for a witness Martin you take
seat in the front Office"
They complied with his request
The magistrate then went over for
Tom Russell and escorted him to his
office
Martin Immediately confronted him.
"Lookee here, Tom Russelli' he ex-
claimed what do you mean by talk
ing about me the way you do?"
Talking about you?" inquired Rus
sell. Il haven't been talking about
YOU"
"A man was Just here and he told me
that you said ! was a bad man, no
good, an unmitigated liar, and not to
be believed on my oath" said Martin
in injured tones.
"Why he's a liar; ] never said any
thing of the kind, replied Russell
"Who was it?s
Emmett Stidham," said Martin.
What Did he tell you that? Well
Martin he's the most accomplished
liar on Gods green footstool. Never
believe anything he says, even on most
commonplace subjects. He's a liar,
swindler and a thief He. e.lost his arm
while stealing fresh meat the woman
who kept the stall catching him in the
act and cutting Il so badly that it had
10 be amputated. What did he do
when he and / went down TO the road
flshing?" said Russell, dropping into
a chair with his back to the rear office
door, which was open. 81 noticed that
everybody in the car eyed me askance
and stunned me, and when ] asked
for an explanation / was told that Std
ham had circulated the statement that
was the most noted crook I'm the
country. and that the passengers had
better guard their valuables.'
By this time Stidham had advanced
to the open door and was standing at
Russelrs back.
YES" resumed RUSSELL who was in
reminescent mood, "Stidham is the
best all-around liar and beat that It
was ever my bad luck to meet. Don't
give him any credit, or he'll beat you.
lie has no sense OF honor, and but lit
tie of any kind
Just then Stidham coughed lightly
and Russell turned his head and be-
held the subject OF his conversation
standing over him in menacing atti-
tude, and the sight was dumfounding.
Russell, you're a pretty friend
aren't you?" said Stidham, ito talk
about me that way. You know vel
enough that when we went down to the
canal fishing you got that fisherman
drunk and robbed his net of all the
fish"
IL never went fishing with you,
murmured Russell, "and you know it
Never saw the canal; never heard oi
il; don't know that there is such {
place; never saw FISH; don't know
what they look like; this is the frs
time I ever saw you; l don't know
your name; don't want to know it,
don't believe you have any "."
AS Magistrate Sasse and Bill MartiI
caught Stidhams fainting form in thei
arms and eased him TO the floor, th'
magistrate cast an appealing glance a
Martin and murmured:
"Bih, how can he lie so?"
"Who?" asked Bill.
Russell went out and Stidham cam
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