New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-06-24
THE TALK OF THE DAP.

Sad Misunderstanding Prohb!tonist-And how
far IS your rural home from the nearest rumshop?
The Indiscreet Farmer-Why. It's only half {
your hands and knees the darkest night. and moi
miss the way.-(Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Protestant Episcopal Diocese Of Michigan haa
declared women eligible to vote for vestrymen In
parish elections Twenty-Five other doceses and
four missionary jurisdictions OF the Episcopal
Church allow women to vote for vestrymen
At the Shore Hicks-Let's see; what shall W
Wicks-Im going to have some bluefsh. A blue
fish, you know. isn't worth cent unless II Is Just
eat all the bluefsh can get
WaiieraIf you want buefish, sir you'll have to
wait until the train gets in from the city. It's due
In about ten mnutes.-(Boson Transcript.
THE LAMENT OF THE LITERARY HACK.
met a crocodile.
And ne'er have seen the River Nile
Except upon atlas page
Yet. still since travel IL the rage,
My tolng pen this evening writes
Upon Egyptian Scenes and Sights"
Tomorrow, with the setting SUM-
"Gl!mpses Of China must be done:
bulgarian Folk-Songs' come on next.
And much my weary soul Is vext
To think have one day alone
To read them up and write them down!
Next week do "Clnghalese Pearls
The Marriage Rate OF College Girls
Wordsworth a, Home" Australian FowerA"
THE Future OF Our Naval Powers"
"The Genius OF the japanese
And Commerce Upon Inland Seas"
ne'er have left my native land;
No foreign tongue understand
Yet day by day. and night by night,
on things like these sit and write.
Hard Is my task and small my fee
Oh gentle reader pity me.
A millionaire railway king has brother who =
hard OF hearing while he himself Is rentfKap ,, -
KIM lined at friends house when he between
TWO ladies'. who talked TO him very Ious.! rs'nes
TO his annoyance but he said nothing tInaly ohe
OF them shouted a commonplace remark and then
said in ordinary tone 10 me 9.heri pau NV M"
aS,es sid the millionaire: .t's my brother who
is deaf" Imagine the horror OF the laly'-t"eeAY
Telegraph.
lust before the las; general election in England
candidate for Parliament In the course c, speech
referred to the foggng Of children some ioN'
nowadays" he said. object TO beating youhes.e'.
at all but / agree with the truth conveyed In that
saving of the wise man. 'Spare the rod ana siV"
the child l suppose was no worse than o'nsr
bows" he went on to shy. but know rad some
logging myself. and believe II did me good NOW.
on one OCCASION logged for te!linss'ne 'iu'''
1T cured YOU SIR said a voice at the back
well. after dinner Boresome told story a a,oS
his exploits in Africa and then one ABOUT d" i'''-
man he met in Switzerland 49, A.,,,aty,
but thought you were not at the Daiqss I've AZ.
Nor l this particular one Dut o nav ,hsss
tended sixteen others where BOresoho WIN w.
stories. -(Washington Times.
Tho PHILADELPHIA Record" tells how lady 70
Gently took into her service Chinaman nanea -
and began to Christianze him by teaching MIN Wv
catech.sm Shortly aferward some silver SPOONS
were missing. Then she taught him the Ap0s" -
Creed and Ii had not much more IMAM got ti" :.
heart when 1t discovered that 'aiuao'e ~
OF plate had been stolen his peheiao"es'
loath to suspect her new convert Vi '"e 80 ,,s
she started into teach him the Ten Commitments
ny tho time he was able TO repeat the First Con''
ma,dment IN n,geon English. the scamp stole her
wo,ch Then the philanthropic lazy uhrese"e'a'
son rebslled against her missionary enue" 49,.
"Nro.hsr" no exclaimed FOR heavens SAKE ao,
teach that pig-taled scaawas any NOR aa, him 70
commandments or by the time you've got MN "
,sa ror,h he will have stolen tho house ard taken
tho cellar along with IT,
49,, ,rslstent Heathen.-"stlll taking up cole &c.
,nn ne "a send fannels to the heathenT asked 'H'
sarcastic man. . .., ~. earnest woman.
..rney insist on getting bicycles now oeIore airy
viii even think OF becoming converted -'i'i'"AV
oils Journal
Upon the placid inland waters OF Ii'us'."e' s,a
An smacIated and benevolent gancer hoa's uo'
goose and shadow and Is a credit 10 It's coh''o".
4, "a The friend and preserver of the ish ihhao'"s
thu waters beneath IT, and 1t Is not ony ave-.
rn,,v IN do battle in their behalf. but orhss 'e.
the food provided for It's own sustehanoe' ' ~ "a
ing the foundation OF its own phys'c'' - -, ,bs
attenuation. When It's owner cues ~, ,.-u.r
gander goes with him. and "a fast az ''e and
lands the fish the latter pulls them of the n.y." a,.
oororruv commits them again 10 the na".o 80.
mont II the farmer interferes the o'u ,haA
on him" and at once abolshes the pls ,sn,y wav
he Is boss OF his own poultry-ya" ,,,os ,s by
IN which the local fisheries can DE- cur" ,.,,,np II
tving the legs OF the bird togethe' a ,hase OK.
somewhere in the background. put az ,an for
perionces It VIII not notice the far'' 30 - rice
several days showing that II Is wa'e re own
sensisilitv with a correct perception u u "a
dignity and the moral worth OF its m'ss , "a
as well worthy of remembrance anu -. .ho,r cack.
those tiresomc birds who saved ho'ie =, !, being
ling an exploit much overrated III ms -. an tina
vet an open question whether II wou.u ~ ., man.
whole have been better for the inteIes'' "a a..
,,, ,n, :, ,h,, CITY had persisted IN us Nv
fancy Mr. CASTOR Tag, writing IN inc ~.
Monthly" saws that the greatest se'o"eN 49,. a,
preservation OF our game and hsh - - -, ,os,gned
even connivance with breakers Vi nv "a en-
for their protection. In the CONN rard.r ner.
forcement OF the latter the New-'e''e' 80 and
a,,nna axcosas tho average New-Jersey farme, any
fish warden. and is entitled 10 "e"'
pumelet OF desert , ~.
Il beg your pardon" said the passehg,fs,s Young
skull-cap leaning over and sPeaf rns, of him. bue
man on the seat Immediately III l iHma
are you not just returning from conqse' "I am one
Yes sir" replied the young m nse vaedctoriap".
n wa. sure Of reoned other wSsS aS 70
greatly Obliged l. YOU'D tell me ;o in 1he t fCn moss
aassilSn n, M misSsua sssss
ecaicago Tribune. &