The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-01-03
A BIOGRAPHY MILL.
A Queer Industry that Is In Flourish
ing Condition.

Demand For the Manufactured Article
Based ON Human vanity-How the Trade
Is Conducted-some Specimen Letters
Written by the Trade Agents.
OF the numerous trades the followers Of
which depend for their livelihood upon
the folly, vanity and snobbishness of their
fellow men one of the simplest and not
least remunerative is that Of the biography
manufacturer. To succeed in this branch
of business it is necessary to possess a cer-
tain knowledge of mankind, considerable
tact and, above all, a great deal of assur-
anee
There are various ways of conducting
this business. One of the commonest is by
means Of the circular letter. This, which
is sent by the biography manufacturer to
any likely victim, announces that Messrs.
So-and-so will shortly publish biograph-
ical cyclopedia, and that, as the work
would be very incomplete if it omitted to
mention the ADDRESSED, the publishers
would be much obliged to him if he would
furnish them with his biography at an
early date. To this is usually added that
no charge whatever is made for printing
the biography, ''but we are very anx-
ious, - the letter goes on to say, 'sto secure
your portrait, the cost of which will be
-" The price varies considerably, &C.
cording to it's size, the status of the biog-
raphy factory, etc. The letter generally
concludes by saying that "your orders and
those Of as many of your friends as posi-.
BILE for the complete work are solicited"
Sometimes the biography is written by
friend; but, If he is q good friend, the re-
suit is generally much the same as If IL
had been written by the subject himself.
The following extract from the life OF
A. B., poet, as submitted to biog-
raphy factory, will serve to illustrate this:
His many sided nature is illustrated
by the following incident: One morning
he went to New York to give his foreman
and workmen some instructions in carry
ing out contract for building a creosote
factory in Hoboken. In the afternoon the
Poets club gave him reception. and his
latest epic was the topic of discussion. Lat.
er he went to Sheepshead Bay to see his
famous steeplechaser Bucephalus engage
in race there In the evening he lectured
on Folklore before select literary au-
dience, and afterward. before the - Ath-
letic club, he whipped the champion anna.
teur puailist of the world y
Most photographers attach the utmost
Importance to every detail that relates
either to themselves, their family connec-
lions or their friends. One of these, for in
stance. describes at length the illness OF
his daughter and concludes with, "On
Jan. 2 this beautiful girl left her fathers
handsome residence on Palisade avenue
for heaven her fathers handsome resi-
dence on Palisade avenue being carefully
inserted in the original statement show
ing it to have been an afterthought that
the reader might be impressed with the
desirability of both ends of the route de-
scribed.
Modesty is not one of the autobiogra-
piers characteristics. After many pages
relative to his achievements, both in gen.
eral and in particular but mostly in partic-
ular, Florida physician asked his biog-
raphers to 'stell the world what 1 have
donel' A dentist thus chronicled his
work, "Sinoe removing to Dakota, Dr.
Molar's career has been series of brilliant
successes" Twenty pages devoted to the
achievements, ancestry, personal appear
ance, etc., Of wholesale grocer wound up
with the credible statement, "Mr. Soap
andstarch is a modest man." That the
agent is the prime cause of biography fac
tory success is proved by the following let
ters. In each instance the agents letter
was accompanied by bulky autobiography
from the ''subjeot:"
MesSrs. e. Co.
GENTs-I send you the biogs. of Mr.. and
Mrs. - under separate cover I have been
working on Mr.. Walker for 81, 900 order ever
since have been in this city, but have not yet
secured it. He is very wealthy and full Of
conceit Judging from the biogs. he had copied
raTt and from, hot
have observed, but his leg has been pulled I'M
til it got soar (sic), and now it is hard to get
his name down again. He said he wanted to
see how we will write his and his wife's biogs.
before he will do anything. I think it will
pay you to write these two biogs. at once and
give them all the fattery possible. You can
not give them too much. Write them extern
siyely, and after have the orders you can cut
them down to suit yourselves. Both Mr.. and
Mrs - said that all the biogs. that have
been written about them don't do them JUS
tice at all. They imagine that they are the
greatest people in the state. Write above the
biogs that it is written by the editor in chief.
because I told them that I would have the
biogs written by our editor in chief, and that
he is q great historian and only writes the
biogs Of great value You'd better write a
letter to me, saying that the editorial staff
have decided that Mr. and Mrs. Walker are
ersitled to a full page portrait, and that if he
is willing to pay for it you will publish it, etc.
/ called on General -, and he said that he
don't want the books in his library, and that
he will not pay more than $25 for making that
SIS portrait. He says that he is connected
with publishing house, and that he knows
exactly what it costs to make such portrait
Yours truly, -.
GENTs-Write the inclosed biog. in grand
style and send it to me right off It means
s700 if I succeed in securing his order Write
a letter to me, stating that the editorial staff
has decided that DR.. - is entitled to full
page portrait. Yours truly, -.
New York Sun.
"For Hors."
A western veterinarian sent the follow.