Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-12-04
IN THE HEATER PIPE
THE RETIRED BURGLAR RELATES HIS.
MOST SINGULAR EXPERIENCE.

He Had an Elegant Lay Out Of Weddine
Presents 1T His Mercy When He Mads
an Unfortunate step-In the End H
Made a Contribution tn tho CollecttoA.
"In house that was locking over
In town up the state one night, said
the retired burglar, II came across
something that / never struck but that
once in al NY experience. strange as it
may seem, and that was lot Of we'd
ding presents, all just as they were ar
ranged for display. When / turned my
lamp into the room, / wished / had
brought II horse and wagon there was
a good deal of il that wouldn't haze
been of any earthly use TO me, but it
seemed pity TO leave any of it behind.
But if couldn't carry it all off, could
have the fun of picking, and started
10 look the things over. They were ar
ranged on tables and chairs and on the
floor around on three sides Of the room
on the side opposite 70 the side that
had come in at, and OH the sides to the
right and left running around those
On the side where | was there were .
few chairs thought I'd start in on
the left and work around TO the right,
and / started from the door and had
gone about three steps when / went
down through the floor, as il seemed to
me, but what l had really done was to
step down through an open register. /
suppose somebody must have dropped
something down through it and have
taken it out TO get it and forgot to put
IL back.
'There was wire screen under the
register over the pipe opening to keep
things from dropping down the pipe.
but it was very fine light wire, and it
didn't stop me at all l just slid down
into the pipe, pushing that along under
my feet. When dropped into the pipe.
| had been facing TO the left; in some
way as went down got skewed around
so that when got down as far as did
90 / was facing to the front that is,
toward the center Of the room. The
pipe didn't go straight down, but with
q curve. had thrown up my hands as
went down, and / suppose ! might
have gone plumb to the furnace if
hadn't clutched at the edge of the regis
ter opening and hung on. A minute be-
fore l was going to take my pick Of .
roomful; now where was /?
II had started across the room carry
ing my toolbag in one hand and my
lamp in the other The shock when l
went down had shaken the bag out Of
my hand, but 1 had held on to my lamp.
though it was lying on its side now
with my fingers clutching through the
handle. The falling Of the toolbag and
the striking Of the lamp on the floor
and the scraping Of the wire gauze
down through the tin pipe must have
and ] expected every minute to hear.
somebody moving about up stairs and
coming down TO haul me out, but no.
body did come and / set my lamp up
straight, and after I'd waited a minute
or two more l started to see if could
haul myself out. &.
"As l lay in the pipe my head was
below the level of the floor; by great
effort / could raise myself so that the
upper half of Lay head was above the
opening, but no higher; there was &c
room for play; when l got that high,
found myself with my elbows close to
my body and fairly wedged into the
pipe; / couldn't get any higher.
II let myself down again, and after
awhile l pulled myself up again, and
held on by one hand and held up the
lamp and swung it round on the things.
Then let myself down again, and Won
dered what / was going TO do. 1t WASN'T
only uncomfortable there in the posi-
ton j was in, it was mighty hot and
unpleasant every way. If l let go, I
didn't know but that I'd slide down
against the furnace, and, Of course, 1
couldn { stand il for an indefinite length
Of time, and when I'd been i'll the pipe
/ should imagine about two hours, /
made up my mind that ! wouldn't try
to stand it any longer; I'd got to come
out some time and might just as well
come out then; in fact, better, for while
the chances Of my getting away at all
were mighty small. they would be bet
ter at night than they would be in the
daytime.
$50 / made up my mind to kick on
the pipe and wake up the house and
have the thing settled. So | kicked
once, twice, and then / kicked again,
and by snakes kicked the pipe open
at my feet. There was joint there, and
I'd kicked it apart, and the sections
was III sagged down with my weight.
and | slid out on the cellar floor. The
sagging down of that part of the pipe
detached it from the part above and IL
fell on the cellar floor alongside of me.
That made noise enough TO wake every
body up there couldn't be any doubt
about that.
II went ont by the same cellar win
dow that came in by. 1t was the first
and only such lot Of stuff that ever
struck, and l never got thing out OF
it; in fact, / added something TO it my
ca1f-a spt of fools and 81 dark lantern W