Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-01-29
Sirginia fire. grrss.
Humorous.

the rage.
ayes. Everybody is in a rage who reads
it."
Mazzg-B' owler was just remarking 10
me that all he is he owes to his mother.
Gazby-Yes; and l understand that all
he has he owes to his father.
Spencer tyiodictively) I've an old score
to settle with you.
Fee guson lblith-ly-I know you have -
That 20 you have owed me SO ong.
I'll. nry," said Ms. Peck, II am g"ing to
get bicycle"
"D-sr me, sid Mr.. Peck mildly, isn't
one man enough FIR you to run over?'
"why d d You leave your last boarding
p'ace?'
"The meals were too far apart We
breakfast d in China and din d in Dre,den."
Mo,hr-Just look, Helene, at those mag
nifc-nt ruins.
Hell nj wond why, in the old times.
they bu / ruins instead of proper castles? 2
81 wonder it that diamond Nudge has is
o T. fir water ?"
Il doubt it 1t HIS been soaked so many
times ha it must be Of the 10Th or llth wa
ter by this time"
Maud Did you krow y'ung Go'ightly is
awful rich? Why, they LAY he has money to
burn
Clpra-Has he? Oh how l wish he'd
take me for match
Bulon-I' gals me TO think that my
money go ; into your spendt riIt hands
when nir.
y une Bullion-Never mind, Governor, it
won't t y here Ing.
In the Pit Gentleman Excuse me,
M dame, paid halfa crown for "dmis ion,
but cannot see any hing owing to your ha'.
Indignrlt Mat ram lias-Sir paid 10
times as much for my at.
Jack-Prpa, ism it always b It TO have
one heal t. everything
Para-Ye~, ny by.
Jack-Wel, then, what makes you say
two head, hre better than one.
Forg rty-G sm firm Deliver in the
pro ositi that he man should not seek the
ct6ce. but the oaice -hou de k the man.
Mrs. F ,g,r y-Mishtn'r the "ihce do bet
tariff It thou d seek the woman.
Sauior-Say, " heel'r's pretty bad y gone
On Mss Boomer Just saw him put ing
a ring IN her finger
NJ. rton-What Of it? man has right
t, ring hi iicyc hell, tam h.?
Briggs-Been great day Tor earthquake
liars hasn't it?
Braggs 1t has. But | 'hirk Waits Is en-
titled The cake He says the sock actu-
n ly walked hi, cook in time f breakfast
Clara am amaz d 10 hear that you have
broken your engagement
Dora-W ha elsr cou | do: His b ard
is so stli and rough that was ntinu lily
going about tia my face full of -cr'tches
Tony-Pa, can tell You how to get back
V ar umbrella that was stolen
Father How, Tony?
Tony-G to Nr. Textor. lie adyerti@es
'Umbreila, Il paired aud K covered, YOU
know
Vify-Do you think ther- Is a man ,ha'
could couscieu iuasly say to his vi c "You
act Only woman over Owed ?" Hubby
OILY one hat can Dix f. "i'ty-
VITO: You, de-rest? Hubbv-0h no;
Adm
Mrs Hicks-I houghty Il >oemedtoagree
pretty well vi Dr.. Third V sermon this
moroi'g
Mr. H'Cks-HnW so?
Mr.. Hicks-Ycu nodded to about every
ing he sid
Tea o. coffee wi your chop, ar?'
"Wel i th was youg vemr y ,ter-
d,y, ring colt e ifii was C flee, lining M
tea, and if il was mixture OF tea aud coffee,
think Il try ch 'coate.
Gus om4r lnit walking back al-ng the
track Tor % mi ute. How did You have
tn con CT ice to tell me that tn place was
only three minutes foom the station?
K. al Is ate Dealers me- tr~ios 90 over
tn distance in s. thpn two
\ or tic who WIS asked Why he di liked
ope contentei hims If With Il filming "a H.
IN entertainment in which tenor, betray.
ed by bar, on, ca Lieut., I love YOU to a
-opra o, who exclaims to hr bari on, Do
not ii Tim l love him in re'urn z
"IfI give youryrung friend place, said
the bauI er, "he will have to give tod !
suppose you Wit 20 on
"Bond?' exc.aimed theother man why
he can be trus ed with uncoun millio' >"
YES; but Il he money W. have is count
ed"
Mr. Penheck,r-Wbich ho'el would you
recommend me to z
Fe low Travel-r-Well, there are two, but
| shou recomm. nd the Royal Tor omiort.
You vi feel Y sell at home there.
Mir. Prrhecs er-Thank you. think |
viii 20 0 the other one.
30 k Cauvas>er Can | -hew you vol.