The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-09-24

make him eat those rabbits-fur ears
paws and au-bUt the coming of daylight
changed our feelings. Poor old coyote
what's the use of wasting time over a man
who'd hung himself years ago if he had
the sand of a grasshopper or the sense of a
buzzard?
A Dentist Wanted.
There is a fine opening in this town for
dentist, and he needn't be a first class
one either. Most any sort of a critter who
knows how to pull and plug seth can
strike it rich around here. We have had
two, and are still depending on Sam
Haynes, the blacksmith, to relieve US of
our aching Inolars, and when Sam hap
pens to be drunk the toothaehe must wait
for him to sober up. One day last week
Ben Taylor was made SO crazy with tooth
ache that he handed his gun to Reub Jack
son and begged of him to shoot the tooth
out. Reub had just got over spree and
his hand was shaky, and a. a result he
Shot out two perfectly sound molars, and
also carried away the tip of Ben's tongue.
There is no dentist for 20 miles around,
and the one who settles down here can go
hunting CT get drunk for three days in
each week and then make a barrel of
money.
Nobody Hurt.
Tuesday afternoon last Mr.. John Hope,
the popular hardware merchant, wanted
some legal advice and started to call at the
Office of Lawyer Watson to get it An hour
before his call we had sent word to the
same lawyer that we intended to drop in
and have chat with him about a $50, 900
libel suit he was threatening to bring We
have had two or three little chats with
him on such subjects, and he has always
had to talk with his arms above his head.
He was waiting for us with shotgun, and
as Mr.. Hope opened the door the lawyer
blazed away. The caller didn't wait for
an explanation, but began shooting right
and left, and for four or five minutes things
were pretty lively. When the smoke cleared
away, it was found that no one had been
hurt in the fusillade, though the tintype
gallery across the alley had been pretty
we'll shot to pieces. 1t was a fortunate end
ing to an unfortunate affair, and yet both
gentlemen deserve all the public criticism
they are receiving. Such poor shooting
brings a community into contempt
1t AstOnished Him.
The Missouri editor who was with us
most of last week and attended a meeting
of the common council as our guest was
astonished at every turn. When we re
fused to entertain Alderman Harper's
motion to table a certain resolution, and
simultaneously with the refusal got the
drop the alderman and chOked him of,
the man from the east caught his breath
and was ready to bolt for the door. He
thought there would be shooting for sure;
So, too when Alderman Scott got up to
present a resolution which was clearly out
of order. We know that if we waited to
explain matters the alderman would get
the drop on US and smash Cushing's Man
ual all to pieces. Therefore he had scarce
ly opened his mouth when we had gun
on line with his chin and were courteously
requesting him to sit down and let things
take their course. Such things don't hap
pen in ST. Louis or Chicago, but we can't
grow out of old habits and customs into
new ones in year. When we were made
mayor, it was expected that we would pre-
side at the council meetings and keep
things straight We are doing it with two
guns on a shelf under our desk and doing
it we'll, and up to date none of the six al
dermen has succeeded IL getting the drop
on US. If things look bit queer to our
eastern friends. they must remember that
every town has its ways
He Ray Go Too.
Some critter in this community has
spent his nights for the last week in writ
ing chalk messages on the front door of
The Kicker Office to chill our blood. We
have been told that death was on our trail;
that we had only a week to live; that we
must leave town or hang and SO forth and
so forth. Our blood isn't doing any chill
ing over these messages. If the man who
is after US viii call around during business
hours, Wen make it powerful pleasant for
him. If he doesn't want to cali, he may
go to- We shan't hurt him if we catch
him using the chalk We shall simply
take him by the ears and rub out all the
marks with his nose, and if he continues
to feel funny after that we'n furnish him
a now supply of chalk. This is a country
in which every man is entitled to have all
the enjoyment out of lie he can get
M QUAD.