The morning times., 1896-08-23
|eD9As ND Nd 4[EG!5tAH9N
Notth Cereal, the ,Seri-
Gus Things Of Foot Growth
-
SIGN OF A GREAT MAN.
Locss chiropodi-t 7 3eils Of She sting
ing Little Things That Have Worried
statesmen-He Pared GarfieId's
Corns the Day the President Was
Assassinated. ,'as-


er 10 the cottage and the palace, as may
be CLEANED from a perusal of the pages
of theregdster In. q Washington chirnpestst's
office, at which stand the present proprie-
TOT has been practicing for years, and his
father, before him for upwards of, g. ia II
century
On the pages of this book appear the
DANES OF the. great men OF the last three
score years. Statesmen, warriors. finan-
| ciers: pocts. artists. musicians, all kinds
and classes. have sought the skill OF the
chir0podist In alternating the suffering
from an afflicted foot -.
The affable and entertaining Murray.
keeper OF the House Of Representatives res
tauraDt, has written a LGok Oh eating and
legislation, in which he shows the In
| fluences which various foods have upon
the votes and actions OF tile lawmakers.
Headvocates the feeding of congressman ac-
cOrdiDg to menu laid down by law mat
beneficiallegisiati0n may not be blocked or
prevented by SCION W hose Ill -lurnor arises
from diet W hich has given him indigestion
| Reasoning. in an analogous manner and
basing his arguments upon the results u
his observations upon the actions OF our
great men. when in and out OF condition,
ShhbtOubStiSoMy oICIkiuSs IuAS ioot spCeidk
list advocates the establishment OF a corn
and bunion bureau, whose duties will be- TO
keep in the pink OF perfection the ''TfiI
bys" OF our officials.
NATIONAL CORN BUREAU.
The doctor argues, In an adept way,
that President OF these United States
who rises in the morning and pulls tight
shoe over an aching foot, and then curses
the luck that as the Chief Executive OF the
nation 1t would ILL., befit him to wear a boot
slit and slashed In the neir liborhood OF the
troublesome part is pretty apt to veto al
most any measure.
The Judge VINO sits on the Supreme Bench
Of the United States hears but little of the
intricate argument which the learned cOun-
selor is making while that agonizing bunion
keeps him muttering maledictions under
his breath upon the inventor OF tight
boots. II two hearings were given in a
suit. and in the interval corn which
had long been inactive were 10 get IN
its good work, the difference iu the two
opinions would admit OF explanation.
In the legislative department the little
piece OF calIous flesh exerts an immense
and especially powerful, because subtle
OF the members of, the tive bodies. Who
knows how many just bills have been
pigeonboled or passed over forever aud
aye by peeyish committeeman wbuse
condition is due TO an ingrowing toenail?
The doctor has noted for years his
patients among the executive legislative
and social branches OF our government, and
then followed with interest the report of
.n9 o. -,
EFFECTS on LEGIsLATION
He has found that the condition OF the
feet have an alarming influence on the
acts OF great men. Henow asks the Ameri-
can people as a jury TO decide ir a
corn and bunion bureau is not an essential
adjunct to our Congressional equipment
and an Indispensable safeguard against
rash and disastrous legislation. He is
seriously considering the idea OF appear
ing before the gricultural Committee
at the next session OF the national law
making body and asking that an appropria-
ton be made for the eradication of corn in
Congress to insure US from the danger Of
waking up some rainy morning to find that
an epidemic OF aching pedal extremities
has engendered pugnacious and reckless
moods iD our solons and that W have been
plunged into disastrous war with some
foreign power.
The class OF customers whom the doctor
has had and now has are those in whose
hands the reins OF government are placed
Only few can be mentioned, but on tie
register are the names OF almost all our
great men for the past fit. years
Far back In the seventies Buffalo law
yer, WHO. perhaps, even then, had designs
upon the Presidency, came In his state OF
single cussednesst TO inspectthe White HOUSE,
which fate had ordained was to be his
home for eight years. Either the evenly
asphalted pavements caused the new half
soles. which the attorney had caused to
be put on his shoes for the OCCASION to
burn. or else he stood too long in the damp
ground back OF the White House admiring
his future residence from point where he
would not be observed, but at any rate his
feet so troubled him that he came to our
friend, the chiropodist.
For a small piece OF silver the specialist
the piece OF callous flesh that
caused his Client pain. II that small corn
had been but saved, the doctor would have
been able to retire on a Competency.
Since this time Mr.. Cleveland seldom
came to Washington without visiting the |
After while the Buffalo |
customer became mayor Of his city, gov. |
ernor of New York and finally President |
During all this period the chiropodist made |
Mr.. Clevelapd's official conduct sub |
ject of careful observation and he found |
that his theory was fully exemplified. |
During his first term an observation a I close
range both Of the Presidents feet and acts |
were made possibleiaba the doctors belief |
10 the necessity for a government bureau
of corns and bunions was increased.
GRANT HADo'EM, TOO.
Ulysses s. Grant was "a frequent caller at
The establishment ana the doctor h as often
heard from Congressman and Senators that
their requests had met with fiat re-
fusal on the days following the generals
visits, and the chiropodist confirmed in his
belief in his theory found cause for the
Effect. ls=r
James A. Garfield suffered agon from his
eet, and before going on journey always
prepared for 1t by visiting the foot special
st. When about I'd set .3ut for Long Branch I
il that fatal OCT sion he went to the doc
or but half an hour before he went to the
1epot.
HE sat In that chair" said the doctor.
and was in the best of humor while
attended to, his. feet. 1t was hut little :.
,ver an half an hour afterward trat we
we're informed of the fatal shooting" The
,lain morocco-covered chair still stands
where the martyreG President and SO many
ther famous men have been seated
There Is q. multitude of lesser names
m the register that occur frequently on