The Monitor-register., 1896-02-28
A LITTLE FUN.

Will just Keep them TO nlmselI.-O1tt1S
Neaos.
Xxx
He-Of course, ladies are much hand
somer than men.
5he-Naturally.
He-No, artifcally Washington Post.
*x*
First Local Tradesman-Is old Doobody
there man to be trusted?
Second Do. Do.-Well, should say
80. know this if you trust him once
you'll trust him forever. Fun.
*x*
"If fellow has chance to marry a
poor. handsome girl, or rich, plain girl,
which do you think he ought to do?" SIT
looks to me as il the proper course is q
plain one in that e."-LndiGnapolis
Journal.
*x*
First Shade-Mighty bad walking down
here, isn't it2
Second shade-Yes. wish some one
would direct me to the part of the place
that is paved with my good Intentions
Truth.
*x*
Fuddy-What a fellow Waver isl
Really, don't believe he knows his own
| mind,
Duddy-Well, don't you think he is to
be congratulatedP Such mind as he has
cannot be very desirable acquaintance.
Boston Transcript
*x*
What's the matter with
young Huggins2
Yeast-I understand he has lost his
heart.
Crimsonbeak-Is that all? He makes
as much fuss as if it was his collar but
ton.- YOnkers Statesman.
*x~
Conductor-Hi, there What are you
doing?
Charley Jagon-Tryin'-stop car.
Conductor-But yer ringin' both ends?
Charley Jagon-Thash all right. Wan
|
| *x*
She (calmly)I think there is burglar
In the house. Listen.
He-On, that's mouse you hear.
She (excitedly) William, why do you
seek to play upon my fears that wayp
You know 1t isn't mouse. se.-Detroit IrS-
bune.
*x*
Kate-I went to a stereopticon enter
tainment the other night with young De
Spooney.
Laura-Did you enjoy the views?
Kate-Very much, indeed. 1t was lust
like going through tunnel.-Detroit Free
Press
*x*
Judge-Are you aware of any mitigat-
ing circumstances in your caseP
Criminal-Yes, your Honor; this is the
fiftieth time have been arrested for va
granoy, and thought that perhaps we
might get up little jubilee Household
World.
*x#
She-Come, dear, here are some nice
fresh biscuits l cooked myself. Put on
your slippers and come to the table.
He-Excuse me, dear; l don't think
Pll put on my slippers. I've always
made the boast that I'd die with my
boots on.-Cnicogo Tribune.
*x*
Mrs. Parkwest-Did the fish man call
to-day, Norahp
Norah Newcook-Ye Yes'm.
Mrs. Parkwest-Had he frogs legsp
Norah Newcook-Sure, how could OF
tell, m'm9 He had on pants an a long
ulster.-N. 2. Herald.
*x*
HE stood at the top of the steps," she
said, in telling about it afterward," and
l mustered up enough courage to say
"You know this is leap year."
"Yes. What thenP"
''Then he leaped, and haven't seen
him since. ."-Btack and White.
*x*
Daughter-But, papa, why do you
object to my marrying Arthur?
Papa-Because I don't think he's
exactly square.
Daughter-Wbat makes you think he
isn't squarep
Papa-Because he's always round
Fashion.
Wife-You saw Mrs. Browner last eve-
ming?
Husband-Yes; but not TO speak to.
Wife-What story! They tell me you
were sitting with her for more than two
hours.
Husband-True; but 1t was she who
did the talking.-Boston Transcript
*x*
Sir" began the high-browed man
with the rolled manuscript, sfn me you
behold man who is in advance of the
age"
"Yes," said the editor. "You are
situated somewhere about next summer,
presume"
"Next summer?''
Eyes. l notice you left the door OPEN"
Indianapolis Journal.