davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
ORIGINAL JACK hORNER.
He Really Existed and Got a"Pium," but
Was Not Good Boy.

was Not Good BOY.
Jack Horner, of the Christmas pie,
really existed, though whether he de-
served the title of good boy" is OK
ceedingly doubtful He was, however,
fortunate rogue.
When Henry VIII. suppressed the
monasteries and drove the monks from
their nests the title deeds OF the abbey
Of Mells were demanded by the COM
missioners. The abbot of Glastonbu
determined that he would send them
to London, and, as the documents were
very valuable and the road infested
with thieves, it was difficult to get
them to the metropolis safely.
To accomplish this end he devised a
very ingenious plan. He ordered a
savory pie to be made, and inside he
put the documents-the finest filing a
pie ever had-and intrusted this dainty
to lad named Horner to carry up to
London to deliver safely into the hands
for whom 1t was intended. ff
But the journey was long and the
day GOLD, and the boy was hungry, and
the pie was tempting and the chance
of detection was small
So the boy broke off piece Of tn,
pie, and beheld the parchment within
He pulled it forth innocently enough
wondering how 1t could have found it,
way there tied up in pastry, and ar
rived In town. sH.
The parcel was delivered. but tn,
title deeds Of Mells Abbey estate wer
missing.
The fact was that Jack had them il
his pocket. These were the JUICES
plums in the pie. Great was the rag
Of the commissioners and heavy tn
vengeance they dealt out to The monks
But Master Jack Horner kept hi
secret and when peaceable times wer
restored he claimed the estates and re
ceived them.-San Francisco Chroni
Gle. 1t.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
GOSSIP FOR WHEEL RIDERS.

L. d. Cabunne expresses the opinion
that the professional riders are now
riding with their fists as we'll as their
legs.
It Is said that Zimmerman will train
for the 1897 racing season, and II he can
get in good form he will ride, but un.
less his work is of high order he will
not be seen on the truck.
According to statements which have
not been contradicted some astute Brit
fish bicycle manufacturers have en-
ployed high-born but impecunious
danes to sell wheels on "the usual cpm-
mission"
A mathematician has computed the
movements of riders feet while work.
ing bicycle, and has demonstrated
that 1t requires less exertion to travel
IS miles on bicycle than to walk three
miles.
A Menominee (Mich.) man Is making
q good thing out Of buying up old out.
of-date bicycles in that vicinity and
sending them to Mississippi, where they
nre sold to the colored people at good
profit on the price paid.
From England comes new gaiter for
bicyclists. 1t is knitted gaiter and
does not buckle under the shoe or fasten
with buttons at the side. Instead, II
slips on over the shoe and clings to the
nnlsle like glove.
The bishop of Ripan, England, Is now
numbered among the ecclesiastical cy-
clists. His lordship, totally ignoring
the TRADE which one of his fellow pre-
lates uttered against the universal
means of locomotion, prides himself
upon the ease and rapidity with which
he has become past master of the
cyclic art"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
Home-seekers Excursions.

On November IL and December ! and Is,
1896, the Chicago, Milwaukee, 4 St Paul
railway will sellround trip excursion tickets
from Chicago TO great many points in the
Western end Southwestern states both on
its own line and elsewhere, at greatly re-
may be obtained on application to any
coupon ticket agent or by addressing Gro.
H. HEArroRD, General Passenger Agent,
Chicago, Ill.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
Beware OF Ointmcnts for Catarrh that
Contain Mercury,

ns mercury will surely destroy tho sense Of
smell ead completely derange tho wholesys-
tenn when entering 1t through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should never be
used except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians, as the damage they wifi do is
ten fold to the good You can possibly dc.
rive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure, man.
ufactured by II. ]. Cheney 81 Co., Toledo,
o., contains no mercury, and Is taken In.
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces OF tho system. in buying
Halls Catarnll Cure be sure you get the
genuine. It is taken internally, and made
In Toledo, Ohio, by Il. j. Cheney & Co. Tes-
timonials free.
Sold by Druggists, price TIC. per bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
That joyful Feeling

With the exhilarating sense of renewed
health and strength and Internal cleanliness,
which follows the use Of Syrup OF Figs, Is
unknown TO the few who have not pro.
crossed beyond the old.thne medicines and
the cheap substitutes sometimes offered but
never accepted by the well,inlormed.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

CARDs.-Thc eyes of the wicked queen
glittercd fatefully. "If / play my cards
right" she Kissed, ''my hated rival will be
overwhelmed" But even us she spoke she
paled with terror "What's trumps2" she
gasped, glaring into spacc.-Dctroit Trlb-
lne
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

TERRIFIED OLD LADY-"The district coun-
Gil ought to put up notice on that Hill say
ing it's dangerous TO cyclists" Stolid Milk.
man--"Well, marin, you see there's an un.
dertakcr on the board, an he won't let
them. PICK -Me-Up.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

A PEHpLExED CALLER.-Mrs. Mulligan-
"Do yez feel better this morning, Mrs.
OTooleip Mrs. O'Toole-'I do, an then
again / don't" Mrs. Mulllgan - '"rhot's
bad, fur its harrud H. know whether ter say
dim sorry or glad "-Harper's Bazaar.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

FooG-"Fendorson is good enough fell
jokc.n Bass -"II'm, h'mp Fogg = Gle
slipped on banana peel the other day, and
had a tall Everybody laughed, but Fen
derson couldn't see the point Of tie Joke"
Bass-."Not surprising Fogg-"He saw
1t about 81 hours later, however, when an
other fellow did the same thing. "-Hoison
Transcript
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

MISS SnARPE-'I celebrate my 9th birth.
day tomorrow" Miss Odage ''lndeed
And isn't it singularl So do IP' Niles
Sharpe-"Oh, but celebrate mile for tho
fiyst timel,-1 il-Bits,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

"MY husband says that your husband gets
cold in his feet when he plays poker" said
Mrs. JACK Potts. ~ don't wonder at it,"
replied Mrs. Luke Pleasant, "for whenever
he does play poker he always comes up
stairs in his socks. "--London Figaro.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

SUPERSTITION FonED.-"S omebody has
invented O mirror that will not break"
"Gracousl Now how arc we going to tell
when there is to be death in the housei'-
Chicago Record.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

EsrnETIc WIFE (sobbing -"Dearest, ri
see that your grave is kept green; but not
one of those horrd bright greens. A nice
olive-gray green, with an old bronze tomb
stone, will look too awfully lovely for any
thing n-Tit-Bits,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

"YoU," shouted the long, lean man, ''you,
sir, are no patr Of" swell, what II /
ANTI retorted the short, fat man. "Elec-
TONS over, amt iti'-1ndianapoli Journal
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

MIXED HIS SPoRTs. -"They had base
ball umpire to referee prize fight yester.
day He made darn TOOL Of himself
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

ANUMBER Of youngsters Of this town en-
gagged IN battle the other day. Not
stone was left unturned to make the affair
q success. West Union Gazette.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

'sMARY. has anyone called while ] was
outp Eyes, ma'am, Mr.. Biggs was here
'Mr. Biggsl | do not recall the name"
"No, ma'an; he called to sec me, ma'am."-
LIE Gaulois, ar
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

A DISCOVERY. -"Pve discovered some
thing the most fractions broncho can't
throw" "What's thatl" "Kisses Chat.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

AFTER THE "RAzzLE. "-"Brace up, old
man. I'll have to be of, or my wife won't
speak to me when / get homer LUCKY
dog. Mine-hic IN talk to me all night.h
-Sydney Bulletin.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life
Ayav

II YOU want to quit tobacco using easily
and forever, be made well, strong magnetic,
full of new life and vigor, take No'Io-Bac,
the wonder-worker that makes weak men
strong. Many gain ten pounds In ten days.
Over Zoo 900 cured. Buy No-To-Bac from
your own druggist, who will guarantee
cure. Booklet and sample mailed free. Ad.
Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago orNew YORK.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

JUsr try 1oc box of Cascarets, the finest
liver and bowel regulator ever made.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

81 THOUGHT you said Tearem was given
to the most lofty flights Of fancy" II did.
He honestly thinks lie Is an actor."-Detroit
Free Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

JoNEs-'Good morning, Benson. How do
you find businessl" Benson-"By iudicious
advertising. Harlem Life.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

DoNr Neglect q Cough, TakeSome Halc's
Honey of Horehound aud Tar t,lstdnter.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure In one minute.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
More to the Point,

Rastus-I heah tell dat yo' new tenn.
perance s-iety done got motto, de
lips dat touch wine kin nebber touch
mine.' Whuffor good dat gwine do2
Desc common niggahs don zee wine
once yeah.
Miss Lindy-Dat amt all. We done
got annoder verse-"de lips dat touch
gin we won't go agin." How dat STRIKE
YOU, huh ?-Indianapolis Journal
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

~ DUNNO which Is do wust o. de two,"
said Uncle Eben, "de man dat thinks he's
too good ter be in politics err dc man OATS
80 bad he has ter be put out."-Washington
Star.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

"DIoBY tells me- lie fears his wife Is tho
victim OF wasting disease" "What IL
III" "Bargain counler.n- Chicago Record.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

Mr.. CnINsoNBEAK--"Do you think, my
dear, that tho time viii over como when the
men will do the cookingr Mrs. Crimson
beak--'Not In this word, John."-- Yonier
Statesman ste,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

WHEN bilious or costive, eat Cascaret,
CANDY cathartic, cure guaranteed, lOc, 25c.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

THE best OF us owe more 10 chance than
we are willing to admit
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24
phv,,c,.n, WIS, M rh,,r reneratioA,

The above class OF scientists recognipA
aud have repeatedly borne testimony, to the
efficacy of Hostettor's Stomach Bitters as .
remedy aud preventive OF fever and ague,
rheumatism, want OF vigor, liver complaint
and some other ailments aud infirm con-
ditions of tho system. Experience and OBJ
servation have taught them its value. They
but echo the verdict long since pronounced
by the public and the press. Only the Boz
nighted now AFRO Ignorant of Americas
tonic and Alternative. gs III EE
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

CAscARETs stimulate liver, kidneys and
bowels. Never sicken, weaken or grippe.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

COULD not get along without Piso's Cure
for Consumption. 1t always cures. Mis-.
E. c. MorLroY, Needham, Mass, Oct %, VI.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-12-24

the ft of gown or the success of dinner
party, but think they have no time to bestow
upon the health and physical soundness
which are absolutely necessary to happy
wifehood and motherhood.
Any weakness or disease of the delicate
special organs of her sex totally units a wo-
man to be wife or mother. It Is woman's
primary duty to be strong and healthy In
womanly way. Careful living and judicious
treatment will certainly and completely
eradicate these delicate complaints.
A complete and practical treatise on this
subject with careful professional advice and
suggestions for self.treatment are contained
In 1.-THE Peoples Common Sense Medical
Adviser" by R. v. Pierce, M. D., chief
consulting physician of the Invalids' Hotel
and Surgical Institute, Buffalo, N. Y. This
1000 page illustrated book will be sent pa
per-bound absolutely free for cost of mail
ing only: 81 one-cent stamps, or cloth. bound
for 81 stamps. Address DR.. Pierce, as above.
DR.. Pierce has given lifetime to the
study Of women's diseases, and has had as
wide practical experience In this particular
field as any living physician. His Favorite
Prescription " Is perfect and scientific
remedy for diseases OF the feminine organs
II Is the only medicine devised for this
particular purpose by an educated and
skilled physician. II is a positive and
permanent cure as attested by more than
ninety thousand grateful women.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27
grRNS'S WEVORY HONORED.

The twcnty-sixth annual banquet Of the Burns
Society OF the CITY. OF New-iork In honor Of the
lg;tn anniversary Of the birth Of Sc0tland's bard.
Robert Burns. was held at Suherlands. No 81
Ilb.rty-st. Saturday night Charles L. McCielland
presided AMI the members Of the society pres
ent -. MacGregor Crerar, william NJ Mac
beam Thomas Cochrane. John Jarline. W. y. Patton.
George r. Jardine. H. ID. Telford. William LyaI,
james Iyall. Hon Jackson Wallace John f. Thom-
SON. j. Corlics Laurence. David u. Mcclellan. Alex
anGer McClellanl. Professor Ferguson and Thomas
ID. Brown.
According TO the time honored custom Of the So
ci-ty, president was Installed. and ID. Mac
Grcgor Crerar handed over the reins 10 Mi Mcclel-
land.
The Burns anniversary was celebrated under the
auspices OF the N"w-N Ork scottish Society saturday
night IA the MonGessohn Glee club Hail. at No ll3
West Fort.eth-st The hall crowded. The
feature OF the evening was an address by Joseph
H. Choate. who spoke on the subject, THE Life
and lienius OF Robert burns"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27

news Church. the Rev. Anthony H. Evans, pastor
OF the West Presbyterian Church. and other speak,
ers are expected to deliver addresses
The Metropolitan Early Closing ASSOCIATION
founded In October 1si3, was the immediate prede-
cessor OF the Young Mems Christian Association.
which originated in a prayer meeting held on June
G. 1874 in London, when 1t was known as the so
ciety for Improving the Condition OF Young Men
Engaged in the Drapery and Other Trades" An
organization was effected In New-York on June 80
1852 with a membership OF l13 The rooms first oc.
cuped were In Stuyvesant Institute then at No 6S9
Broadway, and were opened on September TO- In
the same month. two years later, the rooms were
1886 quarters taken In the University Build
ing No. 30 Waverey Place. soon to be removed 70
Broadway and Twelfth-st and In 1861 TO the Bible
House. Ground was broken on January l3. 1858. at
Fourth-ave. and Twenty third-st. and the corner
store laid on October 81 OF the year, the pres-
dent being William +. Dodge. Robert r. McBurney
the general secretary OF the organization In this
city. and one OF its active workers. He
will take part in the celebration.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27
The best scores made were as follows:
Observation-Disclosures MATCH
THE THIS HOUSE AT CREEDMOOR.

The 7th Regiment has not allowed the grass to
grow under its feet in the matter OF erecting
clubhouse at Creedmoor AS printed exclusively IN
The Tribune several weeks ago. ground was prom
Used the regiment within the State range Enclosure
at Creedmoor on which to build the clubhouse. and
on Saturday the Armory Committee and the Rifle
Club Committee down to Creedmoor to select
the site. Colonel Appleton. the commander OF the
regiment also accompanied the party. The men,
bers Of the committees as follows: Armory
Committee-Lieutenant-Co Colonel w: II. Kip. Cap
tain w II. Rand of Company +. and Captain j.
Il. Dewson OF Company c. Rifle Club Committee
Captain w. II. Palmer and Corporal Alexander
Stevens.
The visiting mltiamen selected the site Of the old
State clubhouse on which to erect the regmenta
headquarters. When the present State clubhouse
was built the OLD one was moved back and turned
into stable. The this clubhouse VIII be nearer TO
the range proper than the State clubhouse. and
when 1t is completed 1t will be a handsome struct-
The party its return to this city attended the
reception given by the Civil Service Club 10 Gen
eral Ruger and Commodore Sicard. During the
evening General Ruger accepted invitation to
review the 7th Regiment on April 2. 1t is the date
of the Generals birthday, and true soldier he
thinks he could not spend 1t in better way
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27
OBJECTED TO THE BREWERS MONEY.

Springfield. Mo. Jan. 26.-Adolphus Busch. the
St Louis brewer. solicited by President Fuller.
Of Drury College to give $1,000 to the Pearson En-
dowment Fund. which he did. Then there a
gentle protest against accepting it, and President
Fuller, in open chapel. denounced the publication
Of reports about the affair and paid high tribute
10 Mr.. Busch. The latter In the mean time in
structcd his agent here to investigate and II
his gift opposed. and IL so to withdraw 1t. On
Fridav night a secret meeting OF students was held
and q committee appointed to visit President Full
Ter. express their disspproval OF the gift and ask
him to call a mass-meeting OF the students This
request refused but the students met anyway
and protested. When the students went to chapel.
high on the ceiling the beer sign Of w. j.
Lemp and under the flaming letters the words:
put me down for ST. 900. too Mr.. Busch will prob
ably withdraw his gift.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27
STAKE ENTRIES AT ST. LOUIS.

st. Louis, Jan. 26-The st. Louis stake entries
show a gratifying increase both in numbers and
class save in the principal race. the CLUB Mem
hers Handicap This race last year was guaran-
iced at 5000 and was won by Clifford from Prince
Carl and Faraday This year 1t has been cut to
1000 and must look for It's class mainly to the
three year ODDS Ben Brush Crescendo, Raniro,
Forget Lady Inez and Ben Elder. 1t is not stake
for three yea odds. being early in the season
Only once 1t was won by horse of that age. and
he The mighty Morcllo The list Just closed shows
total OF 49, horses entered for the twenty stakes
which are worth total OF $50 900. OF these stakes
the National Derby. which has been transferred
from Chicago. Ia the largest. being worth s2,'W'
The Club Members Handicap. the next best, Is
worth $500 and the remainder of the eighteen are
worth from s. 800 to $500 each Al 1.-The welknown
owners In the Fast and West have entered the
horses in the various stakes.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27
THE B'NAI FIRTH CONVENTION.

The tenth annual convention OF the Improved
Order. B'nai FIRTH began Its two days session In
Webster Hall. No. lIs East Elcventh-st., yester-
day morning. 1t was called to order by Supreme
President Julius H. Wyman OF Baltimore. who ex-
tended a cordial welcome to the delegates and
other members of the order present. The day was
spent In receiving reports Of officers.
The election for the coming year resulted In the
unanimous choice OF julius II. Wyman as supreme
president. Other officers chosen Joel VI.
Marx. OF this city. first supreme vce-pres.dent;
Abraham Rosenblatt. OF Philadelphia. second
preme vice president II. KATE. OF Baltimore, treas
urer; Joel Krone. OF Brooklyn. supreme guide;
Leopold Braun. OF Baltimore Te-elected). supreme
secretary.
dinner was held In Webster Hall In the evening.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27
SEVENTH REGIMENT SHOOTING.

The officers and men of the 18th Regiment had a
great shoot in their armory on Saturday night, anu
some highly creditable scores were made. AS VIII
be seen by the in the first match two men
made within one point each OF the highest possible
number There were two matches contested. and a
number Of men also qualified as sharpshooters
After this the experts had innings.
The matches and conditions were as follows
Three Prize Match-Seven shots standing ana
seven prone: two entries: highest score only TO
count: three prizes. The winner was sergeant &,
l., Comfort, as he scored more points with gun at
the shoulder. H.,
Observation-Disclosures Match-Seyen shots standing
and seven prone; two entries. This match open 10
any ormory rife club match or In a competition
for the Abee or lie Boutilier Trophy have ever
made a Of 60 points or better IN fourteen
shots Six prizes.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-27
HE THINKS CONGRESS SHOULD TAKE STEPS TO
EDUCATE OUR FOREIGN POPULATION BEFORE
rNI.nIIINc snI,ru AMERIcAN AEEAIRS

TOUCHING SOUTH AMERICAN AFFAIRS.
The Rev. DIR. Madison c. Peters. OF the Bloom
ingdale Church. Boulevard and West sixty eighth
ST.. preached a sermon yesterday on The Venez-
uelan Difficulty" He took his text from Proverbs,
XVI, Il: He that passeth by and meddcth with
strife that belongeth him Is like that
taketh a dog by the ears" DR.. Peters said In part
This warning against offcious interference with
the quarrels of others would respectfully submit
to the prayerful consideration OF our statesmen at
Washington II whenever there is dispute be-
tween South American Republic and a European
Power, II is our patriotic duty to demand that the
two Governments arbitrate the line. and
that to satisfaction. and II they refuse. fight.
might well at once assume a protectorate
over those Republics The governments OF those
twenty millions two-thirds Of whom Indians
and halfbreeds in almost perpetual revolution.
and II they could rely on us to protect them, they
would involve us In constant conflict with the
Powers OF Europe.
"Of course there will be no war; For civilized
America and England to take each other by the
threats is an impossible evtt. No one knows that
better than the political paftisans at Washington.
But this Is not the first time Presidential bees
buzzed under the hive of love Of country. The
ignorant masses can be easily influenced by the
cry Rally round the fag boys. rally once again..
but believe he serves his God ald his country
S bras am Ss 0 snd sTs to
nation. Peace! Let all war talk cease until every
attempt at peaceful arbitration has been made. IL
Is high time that we unlearn the barbarous fancy
that a question OF right and wrong be settled
by gunnery. Brute force Is the animals standard
OF ethics.
There Is something more important than MAIN
tanning the Monroe Doctrine In regard to Venex-
the United States. There foreign cities within
the limits OF New-York. Chicago and all our great
and the people are under the dominion OF ideas
utterly foreign to American principles In New
born cannot speak the English ,isngaass in Penn
two per cent; New-Jersey and Minnesota. thirty
four per cent: Ohio and Nebraska. twenty-five per
cent; Oregon. hfty-six per cent California, forty
tight cent: or taking che whole United States.
twenty i've per cent IF the allen population cannot
speak the English language. These figures do not
include the children OF foreign born parents born
In America. who cannot speak the language Of the
land OF Their birth
III our Congressman and Senators want to do
something patriotic. let them hrst restrict mmi.