The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1896-09-23

"Who was best man at the weddlngw
"The brides father, II cheerfulness
counts for anything. Puck.
Jaglets-who invented work, Bill?
Raglets-I don't know, but he ought to
have stayed and finished it.-Truth.
doctor, my wife has insomnia--lies
awake NEST of the night. What shall
do for herr" "Get home earller."-Life.
"Does your husband spend much
at the races?" "No. George doesn't
draw very large salary."-Town Top
les
He-Lets kiss and make up. She
II you kissed me, I'd have to make up
all over again, sure enough.-New York
Press.
Mrs. Sequel understand your hus.
band can't meet his creditors. Mrs.
Equal don't believe he wants to, es-
pecially Truth.
Customer-I would like to have n nice
gown to wear around the house. Sales.
man-Slze of the house. please?-Phil-
adelphia Record.
| Dyer-Colonel Kaintuck hasn't laugh
ed in years Duer-Why? Dyer-some
one told him his laugh sounded like
rlppling water.-Town Topics.
"Gainsby is fellow who under
stands economy" That's what!-hc
has just had a composite portrait made
of his three other wives."-Puck.
Block-Riches do not bring happi-
ness, my son. Chlpp-Neither does
poverty. And riches do not prevent
happiness, and poverty docs.-Truth.
She-The Billingtons have an eight.
pound boy, and l suppose we ought TO
send n gift of some sort. He-Why not
send Ellington a pedometer?-Puck.
Nodd-Fve got to raise one hundred
dollars this week. Todd-Is 1t n case
of necessity? Nodd-I should say so.
My wife will come back If l don't
Truth.
Miss Gotham-It must be awful to be
buried alive! Miss Penn (thoughtfully)
Well, don't know. / have spent all
my life in delphia--Somerville
Journal.
"Clarbel' Is respectfully Informed
that milk does not come from milk
weed, and that pies are not plucked
ready grown from the pie plant.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Gertie-Where do you get shaved
Freddie? Nreddie-On the face-ha! hal
Gertie-Pardon me, Freddie; | mean
where do you get shaved on the face?-
Roxbury Gazette.
Richard--What makes you so sure
that she will marry you? Harry-Well
you see, her mother and have engen-
dered q mortal hatred of each other
Boston Transcript.
"Well, old man, I've spent every cent
of money | have in the world on my
DOCTOR" "Does he know it?" II guess
he does. He has pronounced me well
man."-Buffalo Courier.
Mrs. Kidd-There, now, thank good
ness. I've sung the baby to sleep. Mr.
Kidd-Poor little chap! When he is q
he won't dare to go to sleep over
woman's singing.-Truth.
She-For my part would never for
give n young man who would kiss
girl against her will. He--Nor I; but
do you suppose young man really ever
did?-Somerville Journal.
Pip-A lawyers highest aim should
be to keep his clients out of law. Flip
True; but the trouble Is so many of
them are content to take humber
view of the matter.-Truth.
"The butcher offered me his hand this
| ha Of, sJr
deed?" "Yes'm. He tried to sell it to
me with the steak, but / made him
take 1t off the scales."-Cincinnatl En-.
quirer.
"What made you return from Eng
land so soon?" 1.-The Prince of Wales
manifested n disposition to become
chummy with me-" replied the wealthy
but eminently sensible American
Puck.
"Your daughter, sir is an angel"
"Maybe; but after you've been married
awhile you'll find she wants considera.
bly, more clothes than angels are ac-
customed to wearlng."-Philadelph
American.
What are your politics, my mani"
n
asked the portly visitor of the prisoner
l behind the bars at the penltentiary.
We'll" replied the latter, hesitatingly
II haven't come out for anybody yet"
Buffalo Times.
Don't you get awfully tired doing
nothing all the time" asked the young
man who thought himself interested 10
sociology. Mister" answered Perry
Patettic, II git so tired doin' nothln'
dat / can't do nothln' else."-Cincin
matt Enquirer.
t Mrs. Hendricks (proudly walking out
: of the sewing room)--Well, Perry how
\ do you like my bloomers? Mr.. Hen.
D drlcks-Oh, they do very we'll; but. dear
Q me, how much older than usual they
: make you look" On the following day
o neat package, intended for the far
n a. III g. ~ -