The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1896-08-29
a COINAGE or CHEESE.
Commodity That Increases In Value
When Melted Down.

A correspondent of the Springfield
Orifiamme, in discussing the money
question says:
| We have had enough of monomet-
allists and bimetallists, and some day
the people will rise in there wrath and
say. "A plague of both your houses. .
What we really need for money is some
substance that the honest farmer can
himself produce. In the category of
farm products cheese alone fills every
theoTetic requirement of a circulating
medium. There is no argument in
favor Of gold or silver that may not
with equal logic be used in favor of
the free coinage of cheese, which would
afford many social and, economic ad.
Vantages not found in metallic money.
For instance an invaluable test on
money is its value as a commodity
when melted down. This test applied
to cheese develops startling advantage
over all kinds of metallic currency, to
wit:
Copper or nickle when melted down
is worth about cents to the dollar.
Silver when melted down is worth
30 cents to the dollar.
Gold when melted down is worth 100
cents to the dollar.
Cheese when melted down, becomes
the commodity known as "Welsh rare
bit" worth in any restaurant or hotel in
the world about four times the value
of cheese.
Cheese is compact, portable, has a
steady cost of production, and grows
strong with age. To avoid discussions
as to the relative merits of Limburger.
Chsddar, StiltOn and Edam, we should |
say give us plain skim.milk cheese.
This would leave to the husbandman
the cream and other premises of the
COW for home consumption instead
of compelling him to send them to the
pampered denizens of the cities. Plain
skim-milk cheese coined into discs of
suitable size and stamped "E Pluribus
Unum, One Dollar" would restore the
golden age of prosperity that has so
long existed in the minds of poets and
spread eagle orators. With cheese
money humanity would peacefully &C.
complish its worldcycle and civilization
return, like the prodigal son, to the
pastoral age, or more appropriately,
perhaps, to the age of pan. Corydon
and Phyllis would once more pipe their ,
herds over the Verdant stones /
and sunny glades of our happy land. {
and the milkmaid DO heard from the I
Penobscot to the Rio Grande. The
crime and crime laden cities would be {
'mptied as by hegira for everybody G
would HE him to Gods own country /
With laudable ambition to commune !
With nature and embark in the cattle I
industry. Every crOss-road cheese fac s
would be converted into a government {,
mint, where the emancipated tiller of c
he soil might have his tactical fluid Il
inverted By the magic alchemy Of the t,
emmett into elementary whey and Il
heese dollars. With his pockets full b.
t fragrant, toothsome coin, fresh from W
he mint, the cattle king could laugh D
Seorn the silver king, the merchant ii
rince, and all the balance of us. te
ne bleak farmhouse and implanted A
ountry barn would give place to cha eC
aux, and ragged fields to WELT Cl
led lawns and outrageous parks X
he farmers wife and daughters could WI
lltivate music, French, estheties, and to
Europe, instead of cooking for the tr
red man; the farmers boys could Bl
rape the plebeian soil from there di
lots and win fame in college athlet. Cf
5. The barbecue would develop ev
to the fete champetre, and the hum Co
picnic and camp meeting into al tn,
Aseo thingumbObs. Rural life would SUI
come an Arcadia, tempered by the ed
decorating influences and discoveries wa
modern civilization, and the back vel