The Van Buren press., 1896-02-29
A SATISFACTORY FOG.
BY w. l.. ALDEN.

"I have always wanted to see Lon
don fog" remarked the colonel, land
at last I've seen one. ] saw all the fog
ever want TO see last night"
1T was thick" l observed, land it
seems to have left you feeling rather
tired"
81 am tired" said the colonel. ut
wasn't the fog that tired me SO much as
the after effects. Do you know that |
spent this morning at the police sta
ton, and paid fine, all on account of
that beastly fog9 III tell you about 1t
II you're nothing better to do than to
listen.
Last night | went to the Lyceum
theater, and when / came out | found
that the fog was SO thick that couldn't
even see a lamp post until had walked
into it. | enjoyed it at first, for it was
new experience, and | started to walk
home, thinking that I could find my
way without difficulty. A man who has
found his way down from the tenth
storyo of Chicago hotel, l,when the build
ing was burning, and the corridors
were black with smoke, ought, |
thought, to be able to get the better of
any British monarchical fog that was
ever vet made But found before long
that l had made a mistake. | lost my
way, and, after wandering for an hour
or SO, | was mighty glad to walk into
cabman, who was leading his horse,
and, as | supposed, knew the London
streets as we'll in a fog as in clear
weather. So | Just climbed into the
cab and told the man where to take me-
and then | pulled up the windows to
keep the choke-damp out, and started
cigar, and felt pretty comfortable.
The eabman di Int dare to get on the
box and drive. though there didn't
seem to be any traffic in the street.
However, didn't concern myself with
the cabman, for there is no use of hir
ing cab and then doing your own driv-
ing.
1--WE had been slowly cruising around
London-oceasionally running into an
ash box or wandering on to the side
wallt-for about an hour (as / should
judge when the cab stopped and the
cabman opened the door. was going
TO get out, thinking that we had
reached my hotel, but the man stopped
me and said: Better stop where you
are, sirl'
"'And where's that?' said |.
"'Blest if | know, said the cabman.
TO tell the bloomin' truth, sir, don't
ls,,A,rr ma thnu tha
dead. 1t may be Whitechapel Though
it don't smell like it) and it may be
Camden Town Though the road is
little too rough for thaD. Anyway
we're nowhere's near Piccadilly way,
which is where you want to go, and
that's the only thing I'm sure about
"'I don't see,' said l. that this con-
Germs me. | hired you to take me to
my hotel. I'm in no sort of hurry;
but all the same if / were you I'd earn
that fare instead of remarking on the
geography of London
""There amt no sort of use in wan
dering round in this way, said the man.
You must see that yourself, sir! Well
never get nowhere unless perhaps
we walks into the river or some bloom
in canal. put it to you, sir! if that's
the sort of thing you'd like
81 began to see that there was more or
less force in what the cabman said, so
asked him what he proposed to do about
It
81 think, sir he said, that I'd bet
ter leave you and the cab here for bit
and try and find public house-if there
IS one opener police station, so as we
:an know in general way where eare.
You can sit quite comfortable in the
cab till come back
"'All right says I. Only you'd bet
ter find lamp post and make the horse
fast to it, or else anchor him with a
don't want him to start for Picadilly
Oh his own responsibility.
'Well, the cabman led the horse
along a little further till he came to
lamp post, which he hit middling falr
with his nose or his forehead Judging
from the remarks he made), and then
he tied the horse and went off, saying
that he wouldn't be gone very long.
81 don't know whether he found IL
public house open and got drunk, or
whether he found a police station and
got locked up, or whether he was run
over and killed, or just suffocated by the
air. All do know is that have never
laid eyes on that cabman since he left
me.
"Well, sat in that cab until morning
There was no kind of use in deserting it
and trying to find my way on foot
had had quite enough of that.
"It was just beginning to get little
light, when a man lurched up against
the door, and after a little general
swearing got it open and climbed in.
He told me to drive to somewhere that
sounded like Victoria street, but might
have been almost anything else, and inn
mediately fell fast asleep on the seat be-
side me. / struck match and managed
to make out that he wore a good hat,
from which it was clear that he wasn't
a vagabond, and so decided to let him
have his nap out He leaned up in the
corner and snored like high-pressure
steamboat.
about eight o'clock the fog thinned
50 much that decided 10 make a start
for Picadilly. My intoxicated friend
was still fast asleep. and now that l
could see him l saw that he was a mid
Jlle-aged old party who looked as il he
might be n bank president or something