The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-05-20
THE WORM TURNED.
And when Ne Did It the Pale Young
Nan Fled Ignoninously.

Ana when Re Did It the Pale E0uHg
Nan Fled IgnominousIy.
As the accommodation train on the P.
.. S. railroad (the S whereof appropriately
signided slow') snaisd along It's west
ward way, the pale yeung man with the
exchanging brow, which bulged like the
shell of a swapping turtle, continued TO
lean over she back OF the seat in front OF
him and GDizzIe facts, theories and statis-
tics, HnsGl&shly plucked from the hotbed
of BIS intellectually, into the patient ear
Of the humble vearer OF the pepper and
salt raimen6 and fringe of whiskeTs, which
looked as If Uhay might have been hacked
with pair Of dull skates from the hump
of "a superannuated camel
After having exhausted the tari7, money
and silver questions the intellectual young
man 8lUcida1ed in detail the theories Of
evolution and transeendentaliam the BeF-
tillon system Of measuring criminals, the
Monroe doctrine, the aurora boTeaiiE and
sugar beet culture. His hearar sighed re-
signedIy and aRsg7ered hina nobhing.
The posscs1or of the bulging brow
hooked his chin over the back of the seat
and spake on He described the method Of
operating for appendicitis, dwelt upon the
theory Of the c0ntagion of crime, jumped
over into SynlIne's Hole, touched up the
apogeo. dealt firmly with the new woman
problem, explained the 1Aodus operandi Of
frittsring away tho golden hours of life
early poems Of Alfred AUSTIN The wearer
of the fringcd whiskers began to squirIa
like a toad in a hos skillet.
Tcmpus continued To- fugit as If both
wings were broken and the brain CURSED
young man babblod ON. He exhausted the
subject of the Fiugres potato patches, and
his elueidation of the hCeDtgon light was
still iuchGats when his prey suddenly
stopped wrlggling.
You pear to be pretty well posted for
q young man, y said the vearer OF the psp-
per and salts, turning around and inter
rupting the aov of his low traveller s
eloquenoe. IAN there are a few little
things I've been studyin over lately that
I'D like to ask you about. F'rinstanos, z
wish yau would tan me, if you know why
it is how some people can wiggle thalE
ears by conbraotin the muscles of their
zcalps an others can't"
well, really, l-I'- stammereo the
young man. "I-um-ahF'-
ooh, it don't matter much. Jest
Thought I'd ask, you know. But if you
can tell me how much of snake is body
an how much is tail. I'd like it first rate
do nos know"
"Weu no matter. s'pose I can find
out somewhere else. But there's another
thing that has bothered me a good deal,
one time an another, an if you can eluoi-
date it, SO to speak, you'll be doin me
great an lastin favor. If man Of 50
marries a girl CT II, an his son marriss
the girls mother an hoy baby is in due
time born to each couple, what relation is
the old man to his first son, an his son
son, an his own wife, an his son IS wife, an
to himself? An what relation is the young
man to the old man, an the old mans
wife an infant son, an also to his own
wife an himself, an his own son? An
what relation are the women to each other
an themselves an every other member Of
the partyg An what
But the possessor Of the bullying brow
had risen without begging to be excused,
and, with a dazed look on his intellectual
face. was making his way rapidly toward
the next car. The train snailed onward,
and nhe woarar Of the fringed whislzers re-
marked, half aloud as he turned to gazs
out of the window:
81 wish he'd waited long enough fer
me to have asked him if there has ever
been discovered sure an reliable cure fer
warts, Truth.