Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-05-25
JUST FOR FUN.


he man who keeps his mouth shut
er has to eat any crow.
early everything is subject to an
Sometimes even a river will foam
he mouth.
Love me little, love me long," she
fbled. eyes, 'said he. ''But will you
e me when l am short"
BROMLEY, 1 hear you are going to
rt housekeeping" eyes" "What
be you got towards it?" IA wife,"
is suspected that it is not the
bee of Cuba that certain statesmen
after. They want the whole of it,.
Entrees?'' said the garcon to Pat,
had just given his order. con
ys?" ''No, yez hathen, bring it on
Ites."
n Colchester paper AYERS that no.
at Colchester has cook SO good
king that she mashes the potatoes
looking at them.
Hiss Sweetly-How did you know I
s going to wear my hair curled this
ening? Mr.. Plainman-I saw it in
b papers this morning.
customer Are these eggs fresh,
liter? Waiter-Can't you tell? Gus
Fner-No. Waiter-Then what diff
|ence does it make?
bhe killed herself because she could
i cook. How absurd! Well, she
Didn't help it. She had to eat her
n dishes, you know.
chicago is determi ed to have a fin
library building than Boston, even
1t has to hire persons to sit in the
pms and do the reading.
Register Ito witnesses at marriage
DO are talking very loud)- Ladies
"a gentlemen, if you don't be quiet,
hall marry the lot of you!
An East Jordon girl wrote to her
st fellow: "Don't phale to be thar"
replied at once: "I'l be thar.
Iere's no such word as phale."
Doolan : Fitzgerald says he's de-
Lnded from some of the greatest
uses in Ireland. Mulcahy-Musha!
he did many the toime-on a lad
er.
Mr.. Yorkville Flatte-I see they are
ing to build several more bridges
I'm Brooklyn. Mrs. Flatte Dear
d Why don't the people escape in
ats?
''What a lucky man Jones isl" ex-
aimed Beadle. sHe is an A. B., A.
!, and L. L. D., and I see by this
I'd that he is now an r. S. V. P.
rs a lucky dogl"
Visitor Gin state PRISON. What is
Q cause of your confinement? Pris-
er = The climate. Visitor = Eli?
isoner-I froze to something that
dn't belong to me.
Grace-Weren't you educated in a
invent? Constance-No. Why? Grace
Oh, i heard somebody say that ifyou
W a man on the other side of the
rect you'd cross yourself.
The salary of the poet laureate is
irty dollars month. If Austin puts
full time, eight hours a day, we
ink, likely that those who like his
'etry will get the moneys worth.
Miss Frostique-I would never get
arried on leap year because every
dy would say that I had done the
Miss Caustique IN Don't
that deter you. They will say that
yway.
Mother-You've been into that jam
ain? Truthful Son-No'm, haven't.
i declare I haven't. And he chuck
i at the thought that his mother
ID not accused him of putting the
m into him.
Cooking over her sons col
ge expenses)-I don't see why Will
ms expenses should be so much
ore this year than last. Father ca
rmer collegian)-Well, you see, the
,lice fines are higher after the first
fence.
Lover (mournfully) = Have you
arnt to love another? Flirt (who
Id just broken her engagement with
no, George; didn't have
learn. The man is very wealthy,
Id the love came spontaneously.
'My DEAR" said he to his lady love,
I've been busy all day,-not manual
Dor, you know, but brain work,
hich is the hardest kind" eyes, in
ed: I know it must be for you.''
nd there was tender look of sym
lthy in her eyes which aroused him.
Knights of the Maccabees.
The State Commander writes us from Lin