Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1896-04-26

meant SO the latter nau a cart u@uS
with fore and aft axles widely apart
upOn which the tree could be placed for
draught. With as much care as the elu-
er. when a young man, Crimmins hau
expended in planting the juvenile
whitethorn he now superintendent the
careful spading about the old roots, the
severance from the soil. and the placins
on the improvised truck. And soon ne
can. on the approaching May Day at the
trees new hOme-hrst an irish one
then a New York one, and now a Con-
necticut one-treat WhitethOrn as a
Nav pole: and have his grandchildren
dance with him an Irish jig about IT.
and inviting the young third generaPon
Of the GOelets as well.
Nor long ago the old gentleman was
guest a. the wedding OF his grand
daughter. who married a society swell.
Inasmuch as in foregoing paragraphs
| have decried New York charity, l.
may be proper to say that Millionaire
John d. Crimmins is notable excep-
ton 10 his kind: and no one starving
or in want Of work, or liable to be
harsAly turned from house and home,
VIII be ever driven away from the
Crimmcns door. And here endeth a
ChaEcer OF metropolitan romance.
AN ODD DIVORCE SUIT.
There is a funny divorce suit now
proceeding in one of our courts, or
rather an action for annulling a mar
riage. Let me premise Cha, our judges
have nothing % do with wedlOck as a
tie sacred in the church. or. Sanctitied
by statute. for our common law, and
they treat it simply as chey would a
commercial contract. Marriage by
mere consent Pr0vable by reputation
as in Scotland is here as legal as if
entered into before parson or magis-
trate. A learned New York judge in
writing a divorce opinion, once placed
on records in the reports Ibis sentence:
Let the bachelor who in this State
fancies he is only keeping mistress
take care les. by his actions he shall
blunder into ma-rimOny."
Deceit or fraud. suppresSio veri as
we'll as allegatio falSi preceding a mar
riage can be made TO yi,ia.e 4 marriage
by ceremony or reputation, just as the
same could vit;lte any other, and or
binary business. Now, this pending
suit for annullment CT marriage pend1
upon a nOSe-a false nose-rC- false
heart.
\ NOSELESS BRIDEGROOM
Lcc me here recall an 0id Jingle:
You nor I. nor no one knows. the woes
that my nose knows Several mCnuh
ago a. Il s ems from the pleadings
which l had the curiosity in cOur, 20
read-a youth 70 fortune and to fame
Chem unknown. who was a Hebrew.
was welded in a synagogue to such 4
Rebacca as readers Of 'IyanACe" know
All" like the Waterloo ball. as Byron
describes. went merry as a marriage
bell' until the Wedding feaS. came on.
The menu was n0c one to be Sneezed
az. iJ seems; bU,. nevertheless. the
Hebrew bridegroom injudiciously
susezed at the table, and sneezed off
his nose into the plate of chicken
salad. Alas, in iuvenility. ne had lOsJ
his natural nose. and science had gip
en- him a substitute. /, was an inde
rubber nose. chemically treated, tat
he had worn during cOurtship. Doubt
less while that ensued many things
had been said. or had occurred. in Il
presence OF his inamOrata. az which
he could have turned up his nose, if
IT, had No, been made Of caOutchouc.
An elastic substance. truly, but not
under control Of the human will or
emotion % It's PcsssssOr.
Once can fancy the surprise of brids
orf TNrr- fouh-fn--
have seen the old farce of the spectre,
bridegroom. but never before had thty
sat face 10 face with a nOseless bride
groom. The bride tainted, and the
stOrmed. And il may
we'll be observed that she incident
spoiled che appetite Of the wedding
guests for any more chicken salad
The bride determined never again TO
see her treacherous bridegroom. He
had basely deceived her False tongue
she knew perhaps TO be common with
lover. and husbands; but false nose.
Neveri So she commenced suit for an
on the ground OF trick and de-
ception. producing consent to the con-
tract. Courts have annulled a mar
riage when a man has welded, as ha
found, a divorced woman
or a widow. who represented herself
like Shakespeare maiden in the song
Fancy Free" Or when a woman mar
ried a widOwer. who had represented
himself as a bachelor: but the deceit Of
a false nose comes into Jurisprudence
for the first time.
Nor was the woe o. the nCseless bride
groom 20 stop then and there. Anxious
not 10 lose his wife, he sought her out;
and when reluctantly admitted to her
pressnc he found with her an old sutton
of whom he had been afOretime jealous
The bridegroom had Of course recover
ed his fictitious nasal appendage from
the mayOnnaise and Olive farcies of the
salad dish. and replaced it; but the bride
grew sarcastic; and at one remark Mr.
Bridegroom retOrted. and was ordered
into the street; whittier Mr.. New Lover
followed tauntinglv. New alteration
ensUed followed by fsticulfs: in the
course OF which the replaced nose was
knocked of. and reb0unding hit the
bruissr In the eve. ara was then lost
in the darkness. \ queer advertisement
Offering a reward for q false nose il
found. appeared in a morning paper.
The trial raised novel points. and may
accord a fresh chapter 10 a new volume
on divorce just published by O'Calla-
shan in Chicago. How il will end as
Puck or Judge" might say, who
krCws9"
MORE AID HERE FOR CUBA.
In consequence Of the acquittal a
fOrt-nigGt since Of the Cuban sympath-
izers in the Federal Court. and the
mild treatment by the Judge of the Neu-
trali,y law. a new expedition. to my