The record-union., 1896-08-09


lravat, he responded as before. Imme-
diately a surprised burst of giggle
greeted him from two daintily gowned
misses just over the Threshold
Good afternoon" he remarked, as
suavely as his troubled spirit would
allow. Can 1 serve you, ladies?"
"Te-he-he," ha, ha, ha," was their
only reply as they began to back away
from him toward the stairs. Keeping
fascinated twin gaze upon his face
tie he," still louder, as if the impulse
was bursting from all bounds of con-
troll. Slipping forward the now dis
tracted youth demanded angrily with
fast expanding choler.
Ladies, listen to me; what is the
matter? Did you want to see the doc
tor?"
This time sudden rush Of crinoline
and flying ribbons was his only reply
but from the semi-darkness at the foot
Of the staircase came the sound of
smothered and uncomfortable laughter
Now it is an established fact, that no
nice young man cares to be the butt
of pretty girls fun, but when there
Oh, sorrowful sorrowl it is just that
much more uncomfortable and aggravat-
ing.
What in the name of thunderation
is the matter with everyone?" he
stormed, as he entered the room again
like small cyclone. Whats the mat
ter with me? Do you hear, Blondy?
What's-oh, hang it," exclaimed the
irate youth, as the telephone in the
next room rung out vibrant sum-
mons, and business for the nonce
brought a sudden pause in his TRADE
The message attended to, he started to
return to the guilty comrade in the
outer office, and demand his assistance
in getting to the bottom of the trouble
some matter in hand which threatened
delirium to his now harassed brain
Between the rooms hangs a mirror,
and in passing he instinctively glanced
III. That glance was an all sufficient
explanation TO his difficulty. The sight
presented to his astonished gaze made
him turn pale under all his fantastic
adornment Of burnt cork, and charg-
ing madly into the outer room he-well.
I don't exactly know what it was he
did. I have seen the blonde since the
tragic occurrence, aud am positive that
he still lives and escaped without mu-
tilation. Whether he deserved to be
let off so easy is question. I leave
you to answer for yourself. But it is
reported that for an hour after the vic
TINS thrilling and heartrending discov-
cry the air in that Office was so blue
with adjectives and exclamation points,
20 -hay, I1
Cuired anxiously what had been the
occasion for burning sulphur, and or
dered all the windows opened to clear
the atmosphere.
The Misses Addie and Emma Hughes
have left town for visit at the Hughes
ranch in Placer County, after which
they will go by steamer to Portland,
Or, for an extended stay.
these warm, sultry dog days.
when the mosquito revels in holiday at
tire and the highest of high spirits, we
are all prone to try everything possible
or ever heard Of to allay the sting caused
by the wound inflicted by the insects
tiny but effective lance. A German
planter, who has been long resident in
Brazil, communicates to the Cologne
Gazette" a remedy which he says is
/ invaluable for the alienation of the
bites of vipers and other poisonous SER
pents. 1t consists simply in applica-
tions of bandages wet with petroleum.
Six persons" says the author of the
communication, among them my SON
in-law and my nephew, have employed
the remedy to great advantage On
the night of the day in which the acct
| dent occurred by it's means they were
enabled to sleep soundly. and next day
to attend to their business as usual. In
a few other cases of snake bite good re-
suits were not so Immediately produced.
as the accident occurred in the depths of
a dense forest, and they had no petro-
leum at hand. Soon. however. as they
could reach home and put bandages
wet with this healing oil on the af-
fected parts they experienced imnedi-
ate relief
1t is said that the court ladies of Ber-
lin are in a state of despair The EN-
press of Germany has just been seized
with severe attack of bicycle pho-
bia." Her majesty, who does not brook
any opposition to her likes and dislikes.
has made a list of ladies of the cour,
who have had the audacity to disobey
her orders. In this list, according to
| lie Nelo" of Paris, she has piteously
placed the aristocratic culprits. and
those caught cycling in flagrante de-
lictu will thereafter be excluded from
the royal receptions at the palace 1t
/ is easy from the above to conclude that
her majesty is not a new woman
Talk about combinations" said an
old gentleman not long since, Il saw a
combination in New Orleans once that
simply took the medal over anything
of the kind ever heard Of 1t beat the
athletic club, drug store, livery stable
and graveyard neighborhood all hol-
! low"
How was that?' I asked, as I was
clearly expected to do
We'll, 1t was this way" he replied
"On one street corner In New Orleans,
you understand. there is candy shop:
across the way from that is dentists
office: do you follow?"
| Yes; go on.'' / said
/ "On the third corner is a physicians
! Office. and across from the doctor and
occupying the fourth corner is an un-
/ dertaking establishment DO you see
/ the deduction? Sweets bad teeth
doctors-death. How's that? If you