Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-12-11
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There was Young maiden named Grace

Johnny-Tisn't best to tell women ey-
erythlng. Boston Transcript.
The young man who Is anxious to lay
the world at the feet of the girl he
adores. three months after he marries
her isn't willing even to lay the carpet.
--Yonkers Statesman.
II have been informed that your
6rst attempt at long-distance ride on
your wheel turned out to be a highly
dramatic affair."" Very. had to
walk Cincinnati Enquirer
"Bixby has given up learning to play
chess." TOO much for his mental cali
berT' mo, he hurt his jaw trying to
pronounce the names of the leading
players. cleveland Plain Dealer.
'It Is shameful that the States have
to legislate about women's theater
hats" "Why?" "Well. 1t shows how
little influence individual men have
with their wives. Chicago Record.
Artist-1 fiatter myself this last pic
ture Of mine is an excellent one, An
other Artist-My dear fellow, you don't
fiatter yourself half as much as you
flatter the picture. -Roxbury Gazette.
"This," said he, as he inhaled the
balmy October air, ''s Indian summer
II always maintained" she replied,
"that the Indians were capable of good
work If given the chance. Chicago
News.
Smith, see that a bullet from one
Of these new rifles win kill six men.
standing one behind another. Thomp-
son-You don't say? In that case, q
man might just as well so to the front.
Puck.
Bobby-Ma, you said that wasn't TO
eat that piece Of cake in the pantry
because it would make me sick. Moth
er-Yes, Bobby. Bobby tconyincingly)
But, ma, 1t hasn't made me sick.-An
swers.
Here / am" remarked the India
rubber man. But no one seemed to pay
any attention to him until he coiled
himself up into a four-in-hand and trl-
nmphantly shouted: Here am knot"
New York Journal
Little Ethel-I wonder why men like
to talk about their old school dnyS7
Little Johnny s'pose after they got
growed up they is always tryin' to find
| out where the teacher lives, so they can
I
lick him.-Comic Cuts.
Mrs. Digby has husband that real
" thinks something of her." What
aas he done?' why, instead of bet
I ling to win hat for himself on the
election, he bet new bonnet for his
! wife. Chicago Record.
/ A forced convert-"Say, Weary, wot
are you walkin' round in yer bare foots
lterr ''I'm trying dis yere new Kneipp
cure" "Wot fer, WearyY "'Cause
some dingblasted snoozer stole me
shoesr' Cleveland Plaindealer
"This honey doesn't look to be pure,
said the cautious grocer. But man."
earnestly replied the apiarist, sit las
/ to be pure. You wouldn't expect man
| In the bee line to be crooked; now.
could youT-Indianapolis Journal.
"Can you support my daughter in the
style to which she is accustomedf
asked her father "Pretty nearly" re-
plied the sultor. "Of course can't
keep up the engagement luxurics have
given her forever. -Harper's Bazar.
4 "Tye noticed an Indian hanging
around the entrance for several days."
said the theatrical manager. do you
know who he isy' Il strongly suspect
that he's a scalper," replied the ticket
agent Philadelphia North American.
First Student What makes you look
50 melancholy? Second Student Il have
been fooled. / asked my father TO send
me sixty marks to pay my tailor, and
10 few days later l received there
ceipted tailor's b.llr'-FliegenIe Blaet-
ter.
| Father Wait year, my son, and you
may feel very different. Son (confl-
dentIy)-I'ye tested my love for Mss
Higgins thoroughly, and know It can
not change. I've played golf with her,
and still want her for my wife
Household Words.
"Well," remarked the wife of the
man who had changed his mind about
coming to Congress, you have a clear
conscience, anyhow" II know that"
was the comfortless reply; "but clear
conscience isn't what I was running
for."--Washlngto Star.
'Pm all in the dark about how these
bills are to be paid" said Mr.. Hardup
to his wife. "Well, Henry" said she.
as she pulled out yellow one and laid
1t on top of the pile, you will be If
you don't pay that one, for that's the
gas bill ll."-Washington Capital.
Mrs. Brown-Did you have good
time at the party last evening: Mrs.
Black-Not at all. II was awfully dull
We sat there like mumchances and no
body had hardly word to say. We
couldn't get anybody to play on the
piano, you know.-Boston Transcript.
"The evidence shows that You have
been scorching," spoke the magistrate,
with great sternness. "You appear to
be q persistent, habitual scorcher
49,. -~o.. ~ on =, 4o., .yn..ren1 ~