The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1896-09-24
LIKE PANDORA,S BOX.

There is word in the English lam
guage defined by Webster as a second
preparation of food which, though |
short, is suggestive of many mysterious
and curious substances.
This word has only four letters. 1t
can be transposed only once, beheaded
once, but curtailed twice. 1t can be
halved and quartered; it is aspired at
one end and hushed at the other, and
has the following constructions:
It is what the assassinated ruler of
Persia was called-Shah.
1t is what meat is called when finely
chopped and mixed with unknown in
gredientS-haSh.
1t is kind of wood when beheaded
ash.
1t is sign of possession when cur
tailed-has.
1t is laughing exclamation when
again curtailed-ha!
1t is a proposition or a conjunction
when it is beheaded and curtaied to-
gether-as.
When the first and third letters are
taken away it leaves something sur
prising-ah.
It has been said of the late Shah of
Persia that among other cruelties he
was in the habit of cutting up his Of
Tending subjects into hash meat and
feeding it to the lions of his menagerie.
When this is taken into consideration
it is no wonder that the Shah's ''hash
was settled" The assassin, who was
butcher, must have been bold man to
attempt to revive his trade by making
hash of the Shah And now the execu-
toner is suffering, and his face is as
pale as the ashes of his hOOkah, studying
over the problem before him, for devils
ing a new mode of torture for the con-
demned hash maker. The executioner
is in such fizzle over this state of af-
fairs that if he should hesitate his
hash, also, may be wanted for the lions.
If the executiOner would only send
his Persian interpreter to me, l would
give him few points on human tor
ture. l would present him to the cook
of an American boarding house to learn
of him recipe for making hash. Then
| would tell him to feed the condemned
man with the compound twice week.
and, if the hashed hash-maker is not
hashed before the hash is hashed
through his system, then the fault will
not lay with our American hash
makers hash, but with the Persian
hash, maker. But before giving this
hash to the hash maker of Persia, the
executioner should himself take few
doses of the hash to see whether the
hash is hashed like the hash he used tc
hash. When the Royal Hash-maker OF
, Persia gave him his subjects to hash
into hash, then he could temper the
, hashy taste to suit the condemned
hasher's taste. This is the recipe thai
r would give to the executioner's inter
, prefer should he want to know my mode
! of making hash:
e Take meat, which when you hold {
Y blade of grass to it's side it Il mean thu
;. meat will neigh. Take onions and po
@ tatoes, being careful to blind the eye
i of the latter lest it turn watery witt
S tears. Take sausage, which, when yo'
@ whistle, the first cousins of old do!
: Tray will appear at call. Take cheese
e which, when cut in two and placed sid
n by side, will make an excellent team o
d draught horses. Take bread slight
= dipped in the green sea and season tn
(. whole with pepper and salt, bountifull
t sprinkled, and spice with few drop
% of the essence of ammonia and asss
t. fetida and the whole, when we'll mixe(
" will make one of the most keenest G
r. tortures that Persia or Turkestan c
d China has ever known. 1t will be lik
If opening Pandora's bag or box whe
10 you open the lid of the pot in whic
n the hash is undergoing its ebullitiol
u have been told that there is no has
70 in heaven; because no animals al
h known to be there, though Moham'
persisted in saying that Balaam's as