The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1896-05-09
STUB ENDS.

Not the stub ends OF genial Con
Ahern's cigars which the editors smoked
with such satisfaction, but the stub ends
OF Individual ideas OF the memories oil
that excursion.
The philosopher says: "When one
man is heating a furnace for another, he
never thinks about the price of COAL"
An anti-snorer has been patented
which will fill a long felt want. 1t
weighs about sixteen pounds and con-
sists of u combination of straps, pillows,
etc., designed to be put over the head of
the vocalist and bolted to the floor. II
the canvas holds silence will reign. A
resolution is therefore in order that Sec
rotary Bragg be empowered to purchase
an anti-snorer with Association funds,
mutual benefit, and send it to the Deeth
Tidings before the next excursion takes
place.
We are all well acquainted with the
life-sized picture OF the agile young lady,
with most OF beauty unadorned, who is
trying high kicking at a plug hat held
by a bald headed sport, while several
other sports are also interested parties.
When we struck this in Los Angeles we
found the neither limbs of the lady ar
rayed in blue bloomers-,by order of the
City Council, which caused Bob Blossom
to urn blue himself and remark "Con-
sidering the public attention they are
receiving of late. it's no wonder posters
are stuck up"
When Virginia City failed to show up
that night at the Burbank, Davis said:
where's Brother McKinnon?" Vardy
"He has a heavy cold and
couldn't come and Sam wound up
with 81 thought he had a heavy load
but l didn't know he was coaled."
The Rustler, during the editors alb
sence, said something like this; Santa
Barbara, as every one knows, is the
place where the blue sea-, kissed by the
sun, ripples in long, gentle waves upon
the white sand of the level beach, and
where the islands of the channel sleep
in the distance; where the flowers are
rare and glorious; where the climate is
like pleasant dreamland; where the
seasons glide one into the other 20 softly
that, for all people know it is always
summer in Santa Barbara" When
Brother Patterson returned he must
thought something like this:
Santa Barbara, as the Nevada editor
knows, is the place where the colossal
Tyre Of the Appeal sung a sweet song of
a Sage Brush maiden glued in gladsome-
ness to the golden seat of a plush arm
laden with Impotence to take to
her heart the Silver States pencil push
srs; where the soup of %unplucked pork
was gotten into them plentifully
and where strong butter was crowned
with q glorious halo of her gray hair
where the s%tufing was knocked out of
the pudding and the solitary plum swan
in a sea OF saucer; where President KEEL
ley drowned his dignity in a flood of
tripe to assuage a stormy stomach;
the CLINE is nol like the torrid
sublime, but upheaving and end
less.
We noticed that whenever the interior
of the car grew dark some bright
thoughts passed through Brother
Booher's brain and there was light.
However,, at such times, Lucien was I'M
the protecting wing of motherly
Mrs. Davis and was not standing on the
platform wondering il he could fall off
while the train was going 40 miles an
hour and not get hurt. How his uncle
read Lucien's mind-in his mind
We borrowed a linen shirt from Broth
err Sproule and had to take a reef in it
until advised that it had an extension
front which to be made tight should be
filled with cracked crab and lager beer.
We have since come to the conclusion
that Bragg's shirts must have a whole
circus tent in the front.
We had more thoughts on paper, but
when the typos dropped their sticks and
went to fighting because one didn't have
grace enough to acknowledge that a
Christian name might be spelled cor
rectly in a hesthenish way, they knocked
a galley into worse pi than we had at
the Fresno Depot Hotel and saved our
readers much suffering.
To Be Sure!