Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1896-05-17

"p!d YOU hear that Mir saia whis-
pered. "Why. he arranged for the am
nor himself London News.
Customer-"That meat that thought here
last. MIR. Clsnycr. was frightfully tough"
Butcher-"Ho you know. marin. that one
reason why there are 50 many poor teeth
nowadays u.s. because they DO not have
customer-"Rut tina, steak couldn't be
Hutchcr-"Ycs. there are some mighty
poor cutlery in the market now. Did you
say five pounds, naturalization Tran
script.
a man by the name OF Paul was recently
executed In "a Western city, and at latest
accounts sixteen OF the county papers had
spoken OF tho AFFAIR as hanging like a
Faul'' over the community Boston Cour-
Ter.
Mrs rgnman-@A penny for your
Mir Penman-"1 was Just wondering why
tho editor had refused 10 give me even that
much for them."-Ionkcrs ". " States
man.
John said the eminent statesman. at
something real bright. Are You aware Of
"Y-ycesslr stammerei the h%lreiins.
'I'll give YOU three days more, and ~ I
haven't uttered something CurlisCatingly
brilliant by that time III have to get an
other press agent. that's all. You hear me-
90 haAA4t@iNls JoAiAdi'
'NIr. Crayons Is very successful in his
drawings" remarked the young woman.
Yes replied the disc0urtcous rival. ~
understand he disposed OF several pictures
at a rattle. '-Washingt7n Star.
R5otcr-'A friend of mine had n load Of
bricks dumped on him the other day, and
escaped without The slightest injury"
baseball m2snaiy-"Hou Interest me.
Rootcr-'Why. what do YOU want with
baseball marnate-"He's Just the fellow
for % good umpirc."-Ph!iadelphia North
American.
The bearded lady looked very blue.
What is the mdttcr?' asked the ossihed
"The manqser has been playing the
tyTaut again"
lie won't le, me- 20 bIcycle riding with
ne re7t oi IN. Eiris, ne says Ihhi ~ tne
TIA; i amt a fake. -washing''h Star.
"r understand remarked . man with
the, now IL. that Miss Is t5eane refuses
The man in the pointed shoes laughed de
Mo could blame herr" he cried in a
It was Russles, the rival tailor.
what do YOU call 4 piece of exclusive
news that you secure?'
"a beat or a scoop"
,, ".f%a w na%. 4 ibayy oY 's sdcu 4 pes By of your our
A1ln iliotic fake."-chlcago Post.
crosties-"Timeson wasn't a success as a
.ol a rs Il%s ;5S + lie couldn't get the Aa"s
Crosties-'No they put him in charge OF
a bureau Of Observation-Disclosures
While the two nr,hlns who had adjourn
light were stripping for action. the larger
"Kii. ia let You of II ye're 'fraId. ! can
heavirr'n Won be"
'That's ali right responded the other.
yolr'n we'd nrht bout the same
The fight that Immediately followed was
seen for many a day, and It is with a mel
Hucholy satisfaction the historian records
the fact that the smaller boy was whipped.
Chicago Tribune.
Fadly-'se you think Fossler an exceed
DIdIy-"Emlnontly so. why. the other
day he took a bicycle lesson in the pres
.uas Of some ,youug ladies, and he abso-
lItely changed color
Dudiy-"Yes: he was green when he be;
and blue ,"-Boston Transcript.
l. NflfF- SlE. You fdlItl me u lIdiI
Choler!c-"And you. sir. called me a
iF'imcr-"wcn. sir
Choleric-"Well. SIR
FuIncr-'l'ye. been thinking"
Fumer-"Thut It might be a good idea
for Us to get together and open a seaside
boarding Observation-Disclosures North
American.
Il see, Tremper, hat you have q new
ertand hoy at your Office.
Yes great boy be is. too; We call him
because hes such a warllke fellow, !
Handy; it's because he has TO be boot
ed anu spurred before We can get any
thing out Of hIm,"-Yonkers Gazette.
wickwlre-'I have been thinking what
a narrow escape ! had from being killed
Mrs Neutrality-suspicious. gracious,
"oh. h. didn't happen to think Of my
name when he was neutrality-suspicious.
apolls Journal.
And 4, ID para give you the marble
~ should say nit" the brave youth re-
spondtd. why. he's a orick."
Whereat they r]ei9i.el ana were exceed
insly glad,-petroit Tribune.
The need OF the age" said the Rev.
and placed the tips. Of his fingers together,
lis a more practical Christianity"
m nMhifh rS y9nr sbm men h saia M &c. e nIG Ss
snow on its sidewalk yet,"-Indlanapoiis
Journal.
Employar-"How do you account for the
shortage In your account. Mr.. Mudheadp"
M~uLhead-'I can't, sir. That's lust IL.
yer know; II could account for It, sir,
1t would not be there. yer know. sir
San Francisco Wave.
MagIstrate-'For striking the plaintiff a
Culprit-'Ten dollars Is a big sum with
me, Judge, Can't | pay II In installments?"
Magistrate-"No, sir. Did YOU punch his
nose on nstallme s?"-Fliegend Biaetter.
Mr.. Oldboy-'Well, | guess we'll have to
take Willie home from college"
Mrs. oldboy-"Why? He has been there
only two years.
MIR. Oldboy-"But he IS now the hest all
round athlete in the college. and IL he
stays he Will only waste his time."-Truth.
Maglstrate-"Sou're charged with steal
Ing some diamond studs. Have you any
hirF - IN a Fs