Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-04-16

"Man wants bat little here below"
At least. so he observes
When he compares his wants with what
He thinks that he deserves.
Indianapolis Journal.
Muggins-"Did you ever attend box
party at the opera?'' Buggins-.NO;
I'm too fond of c"--Philadelphia
Record.
Papa. what is walk in lifey" TT
is that procession, my boy, in which ev-
erybody has to run like mad, or get
eft.'-Chicago Record.
"Oh, l can recommend him to you.
He is obliging. he knows his work, he
is honest s"But he stole my watchf'
Yours, too.'-New York Times.
"You don't see spring signs in this
city much, do you?' ''Oh, yes; crowds
get bigger every day in front of bicycle
show windows Chicago Post
Mrs Musicus-"Did you have much
trouble in learning to sing SO beautiful
lyy' Miss Frankly-"Yes; especially
with the neighbors. Chicago Plain
Dealer.
He can't pay his beard, for his star OF
success
Beneath the horizon has sunk;
He's an elephant now on his landlady's
hands
And that's why she's holding his trunk,
New York Sun.
EFF yoh argifies wifi er smaht man."
said Uncle Eben, you done git de
wust oh it, and if yoh argies wifi err
fool yoh done vase yoh time" Wash
| ington Star.
Young Duff never talk about
! things that l do not understand" Old
Ruff Really, you must be the most
reticent young man in the city."-Bos-
| ton Transcript.
! Crimsonbeak-"D you know Fucker
| ton, the cornetist?" Yeast-''Yes, he
lives within gunshot of me-" ''Well,
you must be frightfully bad shot
| Yonkers Statesman.
| Other springs the young mans yearning
| Straight his thoughts of love reveals,
| But these days his ardent fancy
| Lightly turns to thoughts of wheels
| Chicago Record.
| What can it be that has come be-
tween Dawson and his wife? They
used to be so happy together" Mrs.
Dawson got the chafing-dish habit"
! "Oh, too bad Poor Dawsonv-Har-
per's Bazaar.
She-Mary John Smedler! If there
wasn't another man in the world l
wouldn't have him. Uncle George
| Considering the opportunities that
would give him for selection, think
you are right.-Boston Transcript.
City lady Tin the country)-I get so
| impatient for the news out here. The
maiis are so irregular! Old-fashioned
grandmother-La! SO they was in my
young days. Ye couldn't trust 'em at
ALL Milwaukee Illustrated News.
II really don't understand" said the
fond mother to the photographer, why
you should insist on charging double
for photographing the baby when even
| the grasping street-car corporation lets
him ride reev'-Indianapolis Journal.
Though winter cease his buster drear
| And skies may smile instead of frown,
We can't believe that spring is here
Until the price of coal goes down.
Washington Star.
Wife-"Shall l put your diamond
studs in your shirt, dearY Husband
what on earth are you thinking Of?
Do you want to ruin me? / have a
meeting with my creditors this morn
! ing."-Spare Moments.
Il see you had a shop-lifter at your
place the other day, Berker." YES.
It's lucky she came Thursday instead
of Wednesday," why SOP Every
thing she took had been marked down
80 per cent II she'd come the day be-
| Ba2ar.
Proposing parties are the rage;
In fact, they're quite the thing.
But the best proposing party
Is the chap who's bought the ring.
Philadelphia Record
| "One of the strong points about lnis
carpet, ma'am,'' said the salesman, "is
/! that it won't show dirt as plainly as
some others. You wouldn't have to
weep it nearly as often as II
{ shouldn't have to sweep it at at all.
/ young HiH, Interrupted MIS-. GlSWell,
/ with much sharpness. 1--WE keep
! hired girl ''-Cfficago Tribune
| Il see you have several books by
| Charles Reade," remarked the visitor
| who was looking at the library Have
! you Hard Cash here?" "Of course not.
sir, replied Mr.. Roodelle, the eminent
contractor, with cold dignity. Il have
a burgtar-proof safe Chicago Tri-