The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-05-17
GRAND OPERA REALISM.

Tyler paid 81 for two opera tickets.
Although he slept through one duet he
felt fully repaid for going, because
Mrs. Tyler raved over the opera and
wasted her superlatives on it. The
music was heavenly the prima donna
superb" and the tenor. magnificent"
There is nothing SO irrllates d real en-
thuslasm as the presence OF calm
scorn.
Don't you like ft?" asked Mrs. Ty-
Ter, as she settled back after the
eighth recall of the morherly woman
VINO had been singing lChe part of a To-
year-old maiden.
I like the music, my dear, but
grand opera drags so. Then the sit
uatlons are so preposterous they al
ways appeal to my sense of humor
When see Romeo and Juliet die, both
singing away as if they enjoyed it, L
have TO laugh"
The ideal"
You take it in this last act Those
two fellows came out with the soldiers
and announced that they were con-
spring and didn't want to be heard
by the people in the house, and then
they shouted in chorus until they have
been heard two miles away
oh, you are prejudiced.''
Not at all. I'll tell you, a grand
operas the funniest kind of show, if
You only take the right view of it,
Thus they argued, and even after
they arrived home she tainted him and
told him he could not appreciate the
dignity of the situation
1t was this nagging which induced
Mr.. Tyler to Write an act of grand
opera. He chose for his subject an
alarm OF fire in an apartment house.
The one act, written solely for the
benefit of Mrs. Tyler, is here appended:
ACT 1.
GScene.-The apartments of Mr.. and
Mrs. Tyler Mr.. Tyler is discovered
reading newspaper. Enter Mrs Ty-
Ter, who advances to the center of the
room.l
Mrs. Tyler-I think 1 smell smoke.
Mr.. Tyler-She thinks she smells
smoke.
Mrs. Tyler-I think 1 smell smoke.
Mr.. Tyler-Ah what is this? She
thinks she smells smoke.
Mrs. Tyler
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
This smell of smoke may indicate
That We'll be burned. Oh, awful faJtei
That we'll be burned
Oh-h-h-h-h awful fatel
Mr.. Tyler
Behold the smell grows stronger. yet!
The house is burning. I'd regret
To perish in the curling flames.
Oh, horror! oh, horror Oh, horrorI
Mr.. and Mrs. Tyler (dueO-
On, sad is our lot, sad is our lot.
Sad is our lot, sad is our lot,
To perish in the flames so hot,
To curl and wrfthe and fry and sizz
Oh, what dreadful thing it is
To think of such a thing.
Mrs. Tyler-We must escape!
MI Tyler-Yes, yes, we must escape.
Mrs Tyler-We have no time to lose.
Mr. Tyler-Ah, bitter truth All, bitter
truth! We have no time TO
lose!
Mr.. and Mrs Tyler (dueD-
Oh, sad is our lot, sad is our lot,
Sad is our lot, sad is our lott
To perish in the flames so hot
Sad is our lot!
Mr.. Tyler-Hark! What is that?
Mrs Tyler-Hark! What is that?
Mr.. Tyler-It is the alarm of firei
Mrs. Tyler-Ah, yesl All. yesl IT is
the dread alarm.
The dread alarm strikes on the ear
And chills me with an awful fear
The house will burn. Oh, can it be
That l must die in misery?
That I must die IN misery?
That 1 must die in misery?
The house will burn Oh, can it be
That 1 must die in misery?
Mrs. Tyler-Come, let us fly!
Mr. Tyler-'Tis well! 'Tis WE'LL Well
fly at once.
[Enter all the other residents of the
fifth floor of the apartment building.