The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1896-11-21
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dSk pefIllSSlOu 10 speak 10 me.-1ruth
Does young Whittle know much
about politics?" "Yes, l think he does.
He has had several chances to run fol-
office and didn't do it."-Washington
Star.
Man. she bitterly exclaimed. SIS
dominated by the almighty dollar"
".And woman" he rejoined with spirit,
''by the almighty 90 cents."-Detroit
Tribune.
The reason why the average woman
appears as old at 30 as the average
man does at 40 is because the average
woman at 30 is usually about 4O.-L. A.
W. Bulletin.
Husband-"My! how you did snore
last night. l couldn't sleep" Wife
why didn't you wake me up?' Il
thought you We're making enough noise
MS it was.'-Up-to-Date.
Minister-"And do you believe that
your greatest troubles come from
hcaven?" Deacon-'Well. they say
that's where marriages are made
Ionkers. n. V. Statesman.
Il wonder why the widows always
get the best of the race for ~husbands::'
asked the fool young man. "They are
faster, l guess" replied Miss Ann
Shent.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Jack-"I boosted before 1 was tempt
ed, and now" Tom-"Now you're
wondering what you boosted about"
Jack-"Not at all. I'm wonderful,
1,ho,,1 ;p l,VI~. 1911 ~a4 ~,,o
temptation.'-Truth.
Senior-"True, this is not one of the
great universities, being only a com
mercial college; but, really, I think we
should have a characteristic cry"
Freshman-"What's the matter with
'C-a-s-h!"-Puck.
You're a wicked, lazy tramp" shout
Ell the red-faced woman. Madam"
rejoined the tourist, calmly, Il decline
to be drawn into any controversy. You
will take notice that l do not claim to
BE- a June bride."-Detroit Tribune.
Hoax-"My wife and some of her
friends are going to organize a secret
society,"" JoaX-"Nonsense! The idea
CT women in a secret society,"" Hoax
You misunderstood. They are to meet
tc tell secrets. "-Philadelphia Record.
Talk of man." reared the female
emancipation. what has mar ever
done for woman?" FURNISHED a model
for her to initiate" said q voice in the
rear Of the hall, and then an awful
quiet reigned.-Adams, Mass, Free
man.
Young Wife-"We are told to east
our bread upon the waters and it will
return after many days." Brute hus-
hand-"Yes, but don't you try it: it
would take a diver and a pair of grap-
ping irons to return yours."-Up-to-
Date.
An Atchison girl started out the first
OF the year with a resolve to say moth
ing, but always look interested and
sympathetic. The other girls are still
wondering what makes her so sudden
ly popular with everyone.-Atchison
Globe.
Citizen-"Colonel. l want to ask you
about that Patrick Henry you were
alludin' to in your speech-the one that
said, Give me liberty or give me
DEATH" Candidate-"What about
E;m?" Citizen-"Did he get his di-
>orce""-Puck.
He-"Yas; l went to the Pandemorar
the other evening. Awfully jolly com-
nany they've got there; the Sisters
Trilby, awfully good girls" She
Are they good?" He-"Well, I don't
know about that, but they're awfully
clever."-Sketch.
A-Now, if l understand correctly,
the first principle Of socialism is to d.
vide with your brother man. B-Then
you don't understand it correctly. The
first principle Of socialism is to make
your brother man divide with you.-
Birmingham Post.
Husband-"Here they have brought
me an account for a ball costume; how
is that?" Wife-"Oh, don't you re-
member? 1t is for the green dress l
wore last year at the ball when we first
met" misunderstood! and now l
am expected to pay for the net with
which l was Observation-Disclosures.
The stout mar wiped off his forehead.
eyes, I was Il good deal run dow be-
fore l got Il bicycle" he said; but
now" he added, de~terminedly gripping
the handles and taking aim at an old
lady crossing the street, "it is the other
people who are that way The old
lady was piled up in the gutter.-New
York Recorder.
Il shall not see YOU again, my dear,
for some time. l am going N the Cen,
tinent for Il couple of months" IN
deed! Does your husband so with
you:' NO. business matters n~ecessi-
tate his staying in town" And doesn't
he object 10 your going away and leav-
Ing him behind alone:" Not in the
least" Then if you take my advice, us
Il married woman who has had mere
experience than you have. you will stay
at home.'-Judy.
The White Cow (sleefully)-Did