Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-05-25

farmers tEan nnVo ever Deeu counted
upon. The community is full of lag
CARDS and shirkers I can tell it from
the way they crawl along the street.
from their hardness in meeting engage
ments, from the lethargies that seem 70
hang to the foot when they lift it, to
the hand when they put it out, to the
words when they speak
Out of Place.
Two young men in store. In the
morning the one goes to his post the last
minute or one minute behind. The 9TH
er is ten minutes before the time and
has his hat and coat hung up and is at
his post waiting for duty. The one is
ever and anon in the afternoon looking
at his watch to see if it is not most time
to shut up. The other stays half an
hour after he might go, and when asked
why, says he wanted to look over some
entries he had made to be sure he was
right, Or to put up some goods that had
been left out of place. The one is very
touchy about doing work not exactly
belonging to him. The other is glad to
help the other clerks in their work. The
first will be g prolonged nothing, and
he will be poorer at 60 years of age than
prince Incidence is the cause Of more
failures in all occupations than you
have ever suspected. People are too lazy
to do what they can do, and want to
undertake that which they cannot do.
In the drama Of life they don't want to
be a common soldier, carrying a halberd
across the stage, or falconer, or mere
attendant. and SO they lounge about the
scenes till they shall be called to be
something great. After awhile, by some
accident Of prosperity or circumstances,
they get into the place for which they
have no qualification. And very soon,
if the man be a merchant, he is going
around asking his creditors to COM
promise for 10 cents on the dollar. Or,
it a clergyman, he is making TRADES
against the ingratitude of churches. Or.
if an attorney, by unskillful manage
ment he loses a case by which widows
and orphans are robbed of their portion.
Or, if a physician, he by malpractice
gives his patient rapid transit from this
world to the next. Our incompetent
friend would have made a passable
horse doctor, but he wanted to be pro-
fessor of anatomy in q university. He
could have sold enough confectionery to
have supported his family, but he want
ed to have a sugar refinery like the
Havemeyers. He could have mended
shoes, but he wanted to amend the con-
stitution Of the United States. Toward
the end of life these people are out of
patience, out Of money, out Of friends,
out Of everything. They go to the poor
house, or keep out of it by running in
6o1ot 70 oil no dry
stores that will trust them. People be-
gin to wonder when the curtain will
drop on the scene. After awhile, leav-
ing nothing but their compliments to
pay doctor, undertaken, and Gabriel
Grub, the gravedigger, they disap
pear. Exeunt! Kissed off the stage.
A Moral Nuisance.
Others fail in the drama of life
through demonstrated selfishness. They
make all the rivers empty into their !
sea, all the roads Of emolument end at
their door, and they gather all the
plumes Of honor for their brow. They
help no one, encourage on one, rescue
no one. GLOW big a pile of money can
I get?'' and Chow much of the world
can absorb?' are the chief questions.
They feel about the common people as
the Turks felt toward the Asapi, or
common soldiers, considering them of |
no use except to fill up the bitches with |
their dead bodies while the other troops
walked over them to take the fort. Aft
er awhile this prince of worldly success
is sick. The only interest society has in
his illness is the effect that his possible
decease may have on the money mar
kets. After awhile he dies. Great news
paper capitals announce how he started |
with nothing and ended with every
thing Although for sake of appearance
some people put handkerchiefs to the
eye, there is not one genuine tear shed.
The heirs sit up all night when he lies
in state, discussing what the old fellow
has probably done with his money. It
takes all the livery stables within two
miles to furnish funeral equipages, and
all the mourning stores are kept busy in
send in proposals for monument The
minister at the obsequies reads of the
resurrection, which makes the hearers
fear that if the INSCRIPTIONS financier
does come up in the general rising, he
will try to get a corner on tombstones
and graveyard fences. All good men are
glad that the moral nuisance has been
The Wall street spectators
are glad because there is more room for
themselves The heirs are glad because
they get possession of the long delayed
Inheritance. Dropping every feather of
all his plumes, every certificate of all
his stock, every bond of all his invest
ments, every dollar of all his fortune,
he DEPARTS and all the rolling of dead
March, in ''Saul, and all the pageantry
of his interment, and all the exquisite
ness of sarcophagus, and all the extrav
agance of epitaphology, cannot hide the