The record-union., 1896-05-03

their own hanQS, ana Lney nave tue
power to enforce their ideas, yet in
some instances their courage seems to
fail them. They may congratulate them
selves that the small sleeve is really
here at last and there will soon be one
feminine folly the less for them to scold
about / saw a man at the Clunie the
other night who / felt sure left the the
ater vowing unutterable things under
his breath and feeling decidedly des-
perate about those big sleeves" 1t
does really look as if there was an un-
usual quantity used for theaters. The
man was small, but did not in the least
realize how diminutive he was until he
was fairly ensconced in seat just in
front of me, between the two young
ladies he was escorting, whose volum-
inous sleeves nearly swallowed him up.
He bore up like a martyr and smiled
like an angel under the ordeal, but I
am certain his innermost thoughts were
not in harmony with his countenance.
The two young women were both at
tractive looking and wore diminutive
theater bonnets after the most ap
proved style, evidently feeling the most
serene consciousness that they were
doing their duty by their fellow crea-
lures in allowing them to see over their
heads. But those sleeves!-well, they
just about effaced the poor little man.
Ii he leaned forward his nose was sure
to be tickled on one side or his careful
ly trained mustache brushed out Of
place on the other, and if he leaned
back those pompous-looking sleeves
met in front Of him and shut off his
view. Altogether he ought to have been
of all men most miserable, and if in the
secret depths of his heart he didn't
utter something appropriate to the
occasion he must have been made of
different material than the generality
of men who come under my observation.
Did you ever hear of "Scrojack"
thought not. I never did myself until
the other day, but from what learned
concerning 1t, 1t seems to be new
sort of scapegoat; an evil imp who Is
always at hand planning confusion,
worry and annoyance for your benefit
The lively correspondent of a popular
Journal gives synopsis of Its character
as follows: 1t is your "Scrojack" that
makes you lose your collar-button in
the morning, when you are dressing
I'm the deuce Of a hurry to catch train,
and forces you on all fours to hunt for
it under the bed and bureau, and then
suddenly causes 1t to reappear in plain
sight where you know you have looked
q dozen times. 1t is the "Scrojack" who
emashes the china and glassware and
makes the chimney smoke and hides
your eyeglasses and spills things, and
does all sorts Of damage. Every fam
aly has one-a miserable, invisible
sprite who mocks and jeers at you after
st has driven you to drink or profan-
aty. It is a well-known artist who has
given this unseen witness its euphoni-
Gus name. Henceforth blame yourself
for nothing; blame all mishaps, calam-
tties and general cussedness on your
"Scrojack."
The festive time of year IS at hand
when woman reigns supreme and man
feels he has no abiding place under the
sun. It Is strange how infectious the
air becomes with the rage for house
cleaning. No sooner does one housewife
order up her carpets. take down her
curtains and turn her pretty home into
chaos that II spreads like wildfire down
the street, and one has visions Of de-
nuded interiors given over to the ten
der mercies of whitener, painter and
all around house cleaner.
This year the Southern Pacific Com
pany has caught the fever, and offices
and shops alike are undergoing a most
thorough cleaning and scrubbing.
Desks, paint, windows, ETC., are being
polished until you would feel 10th to
mar the spotless surface with ordinary
everyday use. Woman may be in her
element during periods of house-clean-
ing and general renovation, but man,
though generally wearing at this time
an expression of countenance that
would be worthy the martyr of better
cause may consider that his lines lie
in pleasant places, in that his business
cares enable him to escape the worry
and tension that fail to his better half
during the cleaning season.
On the night of the 23d inst 1t seemed
verify as II the flood gates of heaven
had been opened, so steady was the
fownpour of waters; yet quite good
house greeted the Arions at Ninth
street Baptist Church, and more en-
thusiastic body of people 1 never be-
held. They determinedly encored every
number-sometimes two or three times
over.
It really is commendable the manner
in which these young people have
worked up in the last year, and there is
n good deal of real talent among them,
too. They keep together wonderfully
well and obey like veterans the least