davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30
by Timely Aid.

The great savant, NJ. Dumas, that
France lost couple of years ago,
was known for his kindness to work
men. The following anecdote does
the greatest honor to the eminent
chemist:
One day woman in the deepest
OF distress came to his house and
begged to see him.
"Forgive my intrusion" she cried,
when she found herself in the great
mans presence, "but / came to i'm
plore your aid. | am the wife of a
painter who has lately, know not
by what madness, given up his art
In order to try some things in chem
istry. Just now he is trying to dis
cover process which will fix pic
lures upon the plates of polished
copper"
NJ. Dumas listened in silence, nod
ding his head.
MY poor husband is losing his
senses, sir; he is selling all we pos
sess in order to procure the ingredi-
ents necessary for his work"
But" objected M. Dumas, 81
really do not see what / can do in
the Hatter.'
"This, sir; have taken the lib
erty to come to you because you are
the cleverest living chemist, and If
you tell him what he is doing is USE
less, you will prevent him continuing
his present way Of proceeding, which
will soon reduce us to the greatest
extremity of poverty"
"Give me your address; I will
think the matter over" said NJ. Du-
mas, and dismissed the woman.
Left alone, he thought the matter
over long and deeply. What should
he do? If he discouraged the searcher
after an unknown art he might, per-
haps, prevent great discovery {;
on the other hand, to let him CON
tinue his present mode of life was
to ruin the whole family.
The next day he went to the
painter and said to him:
Continue your researches, and
apply to me for any money you
need"
The painter continued, thanks to
Dumas generous help, and sue.
ceeded. 1t was Daguerre, the in
ventor of photographs named after
him called daguerreotypes.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

part, and l won't forget it if / live
to be a thousand years old! Now,
about being cranky. When have
you discovered any evidence that |
was crank ?"
Wasn't that; fire escape cranky
idea ?" she hesitatingly queried.
I" Not bit of it-uot the slightest
IL was just such purchase as any
sensible man would make, and the
only reason it is now in the garret
is because you cut the ropes and
straps to pieces to display your spite.
Mrs. Bowser, you have accomplished
your object ~
"W-what Object?"
When you saw me taking COM
fort In my own home you made up
your mind to spoil my evening"
You have done so. L was never bet
ter-natured in my life. set out to
laugh and have good time, and
you maliciously and villainously
turned the conversation into chan
mel to veX and degrade me. l hope
you feel better -
Despite her years of married life,
Mrs. Bowser had made the mistake
of specifying her husbands faults to
his face, even though he voluntarily
brought the matter up and confessed
them one by one, and she now de-
clded that silence was her safest re-
uge.
Right here in my own house and
by my own wife'I have been called
notiGnal, whimsical and cranky %
exclaimed Mr.. BowSer as he walked
up and down.
Mrs. Bowser piled her needle and
made no reply.
have thrown away millions of
dollars-I have acted the fool am
an object of ridicule -
Mrs. Bowser continued her work
and maintained silence.
" In my good nature I partially
admitted that bought 'han mock
Tor 81 worth 81, and what do you do
but hop on to me and charge me
with being the biggest fool lin
America! That's just the way with
all wives; give 'em the slightest
latitude and they will try to walk
right over the husband. Mrs. Bow
ser -
Mrs. Bowser held her needle sus-
pended in her hand and looked up.
No wife can be happy with a
fool Of husband! For the next
two hours 1 shall be busy in the IL
brary arranging papers for the law
yers to see tomorrow! We will try
to avoid scandal, and I shall allow
you enough to live on comfortably
until you find another husband-one
who has no faults If any one calls
say that am not at home. Woman,
-
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30
NUMBER SO.

HEALTH A DUTY.-Says Herbert
Spencer: Perhaps nothing will so
much hasten the time when the body
and mind will both be adequately
cared for as diffusion of the belief
that the preservation of health is a
duty. Few seem conscious that
there is such a thing as physical
morality.
Mems habitual words and acts inn
ply that they are at liberty to treat
their bodies as they please. Disor-
der entailed by disobedience to ma
ture's dictates they regard as griey-
ances, not as the effects of a conduct
more or less fiagitious. Though the
evi! consequences inflicted on their
descendants and on future genera
tions are often as great as those
caused by crime, they do not think
themselves in any degree criminal.
1t is tue that in the case of drunk
enness the viciousness of a bodily
transgression is recognized but
none appear to infer that, if this
bodily transgression is vicious, so,
too, is every bodily transgression.
The fact is, all breaches of the law
OF health are physical sins.
When this is generally seen, then,
and perhaps not till then, says the
Medical Times, will the physical
training of the young get all it de-
serves.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

lNGENIoUs.-An ingenious device
Tor smuggling was detected in Rus
sia not long ago. A great number of
false bank-notes had been put into
circulation within the dominions of
the czar. They could only have
been imported, and although the
strictest search was made habituaIly
over every vessel entering a Russian
port, no trace of the smuggling of
the false notes was discovered.
Accident, however, at last brought
the mystery to light. II happened
that several cases of lead pencils ar
rived one day from England, and
while being examined one of them
fell out of package, and the GUS
tom house officer, picking it up, cut
1t to point, and used it to sign the
order which delivered up the pencils
to the consignee. He kept the loose
pencil for his own use, and a few
days afterwards he pointed it again,
and found there was no more lead.
He cut still further, and was sur
prised to find a thin roll of paper
nestled in the hollow place where the
lead was supposed to be. The pa
per was one of the false notes, and
in this way they had been smuggled
into the country.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30
POETRY
A LOVE SONG.
d. J. ROBERTSON.

In the spring, when lilies came.
And crocus set the woods aflame,
All the world with Loves delight
flusned and glowed from dawn til
night.
All day long the happy birds
Sang and sang and found no words.
And my heart the whole day long
sang to thee wordless song.
When the roses white and red
S,n the winds their fragrance shed.
through world Of sunlight went
Love and laughter and content
And my heart from Ieafy June
caught and kept the strange, sweet tune
Brook and branch, and bird and bee,
sang of thee, my sweet, of thee.
Now, when golden autumn fills
The purple wine cup of the hills,
MID their happy harvesting,
Still OF Love the reapers sing;
When the plover wheel and fly
Black against the shining sky,
In my heart the old refrain
Swells and falls and swells again.
When winter comes, with icy breast,
And holly flashing in his crest,
All Loves singers sweet are gone,
Save the robin ; he alone
Pipes his music, sweet and strong
Death alone can still his song.
Like the robin ; SO shall
Sing to thee, Love, till l die.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

APPRECIATIVE GUEsTs.-One of
the Massachusetts Congressman lives
near Boston. He has beautiful es-
tate, his admiration for which is
shared by his coachman, Mike. The
other day Mike brought a couple of
his Irish friends around the place,
and after escorting them around the
grounds and showing them the sta
BILE, ushered them into the hail.
There, somewhat to his surprise, he
met his employer, but the latter was
not to be outdone in hospitality by
his coachman, Bring your friends
right into the dining-room, Nike"
he said, and into the dining-room
the trio followed him.
/" Now, my men, Of course, you
can have what you like" he re-
marked, as he stood by the side
board "but / have a drink here
that l think you will like. There is
a story to 1t, by the way" he added,
which may interest you. 1t Is called
Benedictine, and 1t is made by Monks
up on the Alps. They fill little
flask with it and send out st. Ber-
Dard dogs to find travellers who may
be overcome by the cold. When q
poor, half-froZen fellow Is found he
drinks little Of this cordial from
theflask, and then he is able to follow
the dogs to place Of shelter"
The men listened to the story
in silence. Finally one Of them
mustered up courage to speak
" Have you any gin ?" he asked.
Certainly" }" said the Congressman
as he laid aside the cordial. Help
yourself"
The men took a good substantial
drink of gin and smiled happily
over It's familiar taste.
"That wasn't bad,n said one o.
them. "Now bring on your doS
liquor"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

ONE day stranger, approaching
the late John Boyle O'Reilly from
behind, mistook him for a friend
whom he had not seen for some time.
In his enthusiasm he stepped up,
slapped his supposed friend on the
shoulder and greeted him with some
particularly hearty expression.--
Many men in O'Reilly's position
would have felt at least momentary
annoyance. Not so with the poet.
Turning about, he stretched out his
hand. "Pm not jack" he said,
&" but am glad to shake hands with
any man who is as glad to see an old
friend as you seem to be.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

A CROWD of well known young
men about town were standing on a
street corner the other night, when a
newsboy ran by, crying, "Here's
your Post" He came up to the
crowd and asked, "Any one want a
Post ?" "Have you got a hitching-
post ?" asked one of the young men.
The crowd laughed, but the boy
never changed countenance a parti-
Gle. He stood for moment, look
ing hard at the young man who had
just spoken, and as soon as quiet was
restored, said, " I amt got a hitch
ing-post, but reckon can hold you
for a little while If you have a hal
ter"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

BOSTON BOOTBLACKs' ORIGINAL
IDEAS OF BIBLE SToRIEs.-A very
devOut gentleman of Boston has re-
Gently undertaken to teach Sunday
School class Of bOotblacks and news
boys the beauties of the Gospel, and
he has had some very amusing ex-
periences. He relates that recently
he undertook to tell a story of ia
cob's ladder. After he had graph
ically pictured the wandering of the
sad old patriarch, his dream in the
Eastern pasture and the ladder on
which the angels were ascending and
descending, he paused and said:
"Now, boys, if there is anything
in this story that have not yet ex-
planned, you may ask me any ques-
tion you like and will answer it,
Thereupon little chap cried out:
"Say, Mister Minister, did you
Bsy dem angels he'd wings"
Yes, my boy" replied the doc
tor, "angels always have wings"
Well, den, eff dey he'd wings,
what for did they need ladders ?"
The doctor nearly tainted, but re-
covering his equanimity, he said {:
" Now, boys that's first-rate ques-
ton and it has first-rate answer.
But Pm not going to tell you the an
swer. AS one boy has been smart
enough to ask the question, some boy
present must be smart enough to an
swer 1t. Come, now, boys, why did
those angels need a ladder when
they had wings ?" After a moment
of solemn silence, a little fellow
cried out: "Cause dem angels was
moltin'."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

AVOID DEBT.-If one will be in
dependent in business and have a
free course in the world he must be
self-reliant and build up sturdy,
strong manhood. One is strong who
is conscious that if all the business
of the world around him should fail
his possessions will abide because he
has no debts to pay. A panic can
not hurt such one except in the
volume of his trade. His home will
continue to be shelter for his family
and no man can touch 1t. His occu-
patton may be gone for a time, but
"no debts to pay" will be the sweet
est song that can ring in his soul as
the days and months go rolling on.
such a man is ready for the race of
life when the opportunity presents
Itself. He Is free man, and it Is
freedom which contributes to the
enjoyment as we'll as to the pros
perity of life. 1t will help to ban
ish care, and keep grief away
Above all things avoid debt.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30
POET x ".
If l KNEW.

If L knew the box where smiles were
kept,
No matter how large the key
Or strong the bolt, would try so hard
Twould open, know, for me.
Then over the land and sea, broadcast
d scatter the smiles to play,
That the children's faces might hold
them fast
For many and many day.
If | knew a box that was large enough
To hold all the frowns l meet,
| would like to gather them, every one,
From nursery, school, and street.
Then folding, and holding, I'd pack
them in,
And, turning the monster key,
I'd hire giant to drop the box
To the depths of the deep. deep sea.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

WHAT He THOUGHT" Blank
Blanks mind" said my informant,
sis so we'll stored with amusing
tales and experiences that nearly
every time he rises to argue a point
at issue between himself and oppos-
ing counsel he makes use of them,
to the vast amusement Of the spec
tators and jury.
"Once he and / were together in a
case and he got In a strong answer
to point lawyer on the other side
had made.
The gentlemen of the Jury he
said, must not place too much faith
in what my friend on the other side
says. If they knew him as we'll as
we'll as do, they would see as well
as do that when his mouth opens
his brain ceases to work. I can only
campare him to q little steamboat /
used to run on East River. 1t had a
five inch boiler and seven inch
whistle. The effect was that when
ever the whistle blew the steamboat
stopped
Blank won his case"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30


No COMFORT IN NEW YORK.
On a Forty-ninth street horse-car an
old man, whom 1 knew to be stran-
ger in the city, made some inquiries
OF me, and when we fell to talking,
L asked him how he liked New York,
says writer in the Detroit Free
Press.
WALL" he slowly replied, "It's
great big town with lots of houses
into it, but don't imagine you take
much comfort here.n
That's according to what you
call comfort" / replied.
Y-a-a-s, L know, but do you hev
eny corn-huskins, with pumpkin
pies and hard cider and a dance ar
ter 'leven O'Clock 2"
"No, think not"
{" Hev any spellin' skules ?"
"No."
"Folks ever git together and
crack walnuts and butternuts and
pop corn, and tell stories about old
pioneer days when the howl of a
wolf at night would lift you out o.
bed ?"
{" guess not"
when winter comes kin you
pile on to big sled, put your arm
around good lookin' widder. and
go boomin' down a hill half mile
long, with the men folks a yellin'
and the wimen folks te-he-heein'
fit to bust ?"
| No."
"Never hev any parin' bees arter
the apples are all gathered, with new
cider and 'lasses candy and music on
the melodeon?"
"No."
Wall, that's what l thought
he continued. " AS l said before,
it's great big town with lots of
houses into it, an s'pose some OF
ye git drunk an jump up an down
an think ye are havin' awful good
times. Can't make me believe any
Of ye take real comfort, and !
wouldn't live in New York if any
body would pay me six shillings a
week and board me to boot"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30
Misapplied Missionary Work.

She Was a thin, narrow, dark-vis-
Vlsaged woman with "specs" on,
and she carried package Of leaflets
which she scattered broadcast among
the sinners in the Cass Avenue car
on which she rode, says the Detroit
Sun. When only two of the PAM
phlets were left a man got on. He was
on his way to the depot, a country
man, going home, evidently. He
had big turkey, which he disposed
tenderly on the seat next to him, and
a glass flask with q rubber cork stuck
boldly out Of his pocket.
Heugh J" he exclaimed, as he
stuffed his fare in the box. "Colder
than blazes up here, amt it?"
Everybody looked cold disap-
proval at him as good, polite Chris
tian people do when spoken to in a
street car, all but the woman with
the "tracts." She had fished out
one and extendeded it to him.
Thankee," he said, receiving 1t
In his brown paw. "Comic alma
mac, hey ?"
Ono, sir; said the woman firmly,
In high falsetto voice. at is TO
save your immortal soul. Touch
not, taste not, handle not the wine,"
and she pointed with crooked fore
finger to the glass flask protruding
from his breast pocket.
"Oh, | see,' said the man, smil-
ing good-humOredly on his sour-vis-
aged vis.a-vis /; but this hottie amt
for me, ma'am."
Woe unto him that giveth his
neighbor drink" quoted the WON an
tiercely.
He amt eggsactly my neighbor,
eyther," said the man. "You see,
it's the new baby, and wife calculates
to fetch him up by hand, and this
bottle is for him, bless his pootsy
tootsy, Where's the rigging of it ?'
and diving into another pocket he
fished out some india rubber tubing,
etc.
The woman didn't wait to finish
her dissertation on temperance, but
got out without asking the driver to
stop.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

NEVER despise compromise.
Burke says; "All government-in-
deed, every human benefit and en-
joyment, every virtue and every
prudent acts founded on compro-
mise and barter.o
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

A PARTY of ladies and gentleman
were lately visiting a large carpet
mandatory, and the manager took
them over the different floors of the
establishment. On ascending one
of the staircases they came to a
locked door, on which was painted
in white letters:
"Strangers not admitted under
any circumstances"
The curiosity Of the ladies was
excited TO high pitch, and they in
quired, almost In one breath, " What
was to be seen inside ?n
THAT is one of our workrooms,
In which one hundred and fifty
women are employed in embroider-
ing carpets" answered the mana
ger.
son, how we should like, just like,
one peep at them -
am Very sorry cannot comply
with your wish," said the gentleman,
with shrug of his shoulders, but
our rules will not admit of the
slightest exception. Truth to saw.
and there Is nothing special to be
seen, nor Is there any trade secrets.
The reason why admission is for
oidden to strangers is simply be-
cause every woman naturally looks
up, and her attention is distracted
from her work for from one to five
minutes. Supposing, now. each wo-
man wastes couple of minutes in
this way, that would make in the
case of one hundred and fifty women
a loss to the firm of three hundred
minutes, or five hours, and we can
not allow that"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

"PAPA," inquired the editors
only son, "what do you call your of.
flee ?" WE'LL" was the reply,
" the world calls an editor's Office
the sanctum sanctorum.n "Then I
suppose" and the small boy was
thoughtful for moment, "that
mammals Office is spanktum spank
forum, isn't it?"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

A FOREIGN diplomat, conversiug
with the Hawaiian queen on the sub
ject of the mixed races In Hawaii,
said, But your Majesty surely has
no white blood in your veins ?''
Indeed, l have white blood i'm
my veins !" said the queen. "My
grandfather ate Captain Cook.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

A MISSOURI farmer figured it out
one rainy day that he had walked
800 miles In cultivating one acre of
corn. He thereupon sold his farm
and moved to town, where he walked
600 miles to find lob.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

"YoU see, Miss Fanny, even the
birds seem happier running in cou-
ples."
Yes, but they are geese, and don't
know any better" H
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

IF your neighbours hens are trou-
blesome, and steal across the way,
don't let your angry passions rise I;
nix place for 'em to layi
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

FIVE dollars is too dear for these
Shoes"
Think of the calf that goes in
them y,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

DIsCRETIoN Of speech is more
than eloquence; and to speak to him
with whom we converse Is more
than TO speak I'm exact order.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

THIS rich relative of yours-is
he distant relative?n
/" Yes, extremely, since he became
rich.o
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

THE landlord who told the tramp
to tackle that pile of wood was
coolly told that he didn't eat wood.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

1T is better to fail in trying to do
than not to try.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30

she could 60 in and tell them who
she was, but she thought they would
hate her for this little deception.
DIR. English came through the gar
den just then. He caught sight of
Blanche and went to her.
He possessed a tenderness of feel
ing almost like woman for any
form of human pain. His heart
throbbed with pity when he saw
Blanche In tears.
She arose when she saw him, and
started away.
"Sit down and talk awhile, won't
you, please?"
Blanche sat down, but, unable to
control her feelings, she again burst
into tears.
81 am sorry you are so sad. I
wish / had 1t in my power to cheer
you" said DR.. English, consolingly.
" am homesick," said Blanche,
land wish had never come here.
am going home socn. know Mrs.
Brown wishes me to stay. but, indeed
1 cannot"
" have long wished to know your
history, for 1 feel sure that you are
not filling the position that your
birth and education intended YOU to
fill," said DIR. English, "will you
not tell me Of yourself?U
Blanche commenced at the begin.
ming and told him how she came to
be there, and all about her Uncle's
anger at her father, and such joy as
that young gentleman experienced
is delightful to live but very hard to
describe.
He asked Blanche to be his wife,
declaring that he loved her from the
first moment he saw her.
81 must tell Uucle and Aunt
Brown who I am, and Pm afraid
they will be very indignant, and
fear 1 have not done quite right to
deceive them, but I longed so for
the country that really could not
resist the temptation"
Let us tell them right now, dar-
ling, and be done with 1t. Remem-
ber, I'll stand between you and all
danger" he added, laughingly.
Mr.. and Mrs. Brown were on the
piazza when DR.. English and Blanche
came up.
Blanche sat down by them and
told them who she was and how she
came to be there. When she fin
ished they were all in tears.
My dear child, said Mr.. Brown,
when you 60 home, I'll 90 with
you and ask your parents forgive
ness, for / am too old to harbor
pride and resentment any longer
When you come to my home again
you will not have to come in the ca
pacity of servant to find a welcome.
You have made me sad many times
since you came here, for you re-
minded me of my sister Annie, but
l had no idea you were her daugh-
ter.n
When they had finished their con-
versation, DIR. English came forward
saying, "Uncle, I want you and
Aunt to congratulate me, for Blanche
has promised to be my wife, and we
are very happy"