Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-11-19

of it,"
BAH retorted the owner. It's a safe,
isn't it,"
Yes" replied the burglar alarm man,
"and so YOU don't want to be penny wise
and pound foolish"
And it's "a good safe. too, isn't it?'
continued the man.
"Thata just f." replied the burglar
larm man. earnestly The better the safe
tac more it interests good burglar, and
the harder he will try 20 blow it open
with nitro-glycerine.
BAH said the owner again, showing
the burglar alarm agent out.
Next there came a district messenger
boy.
The boss wants to know" he said,
will you have your house watched by a
special policeman
What for?" demanded the proprietor
of the safe.
ITO drive away the tramps," said the
boy. "Tramps will grab the safe the first
thing"
Go away" said the owner. scornfully.
A little while later the maid servant an
nounced that a policeman would like to
see the gentleman. The gentleman told
her TO bring him up
I'm on this beat the policeman said,
by way of introduction. That's a nice
safe you've been getting. but as you have
Il now it's all in the dark. You'd ought
to leave light burning all night so as to
shine on il. Then 1 can look in the win
dow once in a while and see that it's all
right"
DO you think the safe is likely to run
away?' demanded the owner, facetious-
ly.
The policeman nodded his head soberly
and reproachfully.
Where there's a safe there's some
thing worth putting in it," he said and
where there's something worth putting in
"a safe there's burglars
Hang burglars" retorted the man,
scornfully. Isn't it a good safe?'
well" replied the policeman. mysteri-
ously. lit was only for your own good
that i spoke about it," And he departed
i'm wrath.
The owner Of the safe thought for a Gme
and then summoned the maid servant.
How did the policeman know about
the safe?" he demanded.
Sure I told him when 7 called him in
about the tramp" was the reply.
The tramp"
Yes. the tramp that was keeping about
the basement door and wouldn't go away"
Dear me- exclaimed the wife of the
owner, in alarm. can it really be true
that safe attracts burgars?'
Nonsense replied the husband. stout
". "AI these people just think that be-
cause a safe man can pull my leg they can
pull it. too. But they don't know what the
safe business is"
Nevertheless, the wife stayed awake all
night listening for the grinding of the
burglars tools upon the steel sides of the
safe. That was the first days work Of
the safe. But it was nothing to the harm
fl did on the second day of its stay in its
present quarters.
There is Thursday. and there is every
other Thursday This particular Thurs
day was not Thursday but every other
Thursday. so that it was the new servant
day out When the owner Of the safe got
home he found his wife sitting on the hall
stairs. staring in front Of her. her face
stony with white despair
We're robbed" she moaned, as he-
husband entered.
Go wan" re retorted. airily.
Yes she said. finding some relief in
tears. when l went to the safe TO get the
silver for dinner I found that the door
wouldn't open. Thieves have robbed the
SAFE and changed the combination so
that we wouldn't find out about it until
too late TO catch them"
Come on" rejoined her husband.
1T is so. she continued. Indignantly.
II told you how it would be if you let
everybody know how to open it,"
THE real trouble is'that you don't know
how TO open it yourself" remarked the
husband as ne led the way to tho safe.
He twisted the knob about the required
number Of times and then pulled at the
door. Ii remained shut. Rather more
seriou-ly he began again. and checked
or the numbers one by one. His wife
stood by in tragic silence. Still the door
remained shut
IT'S out Of order" ne said, faintly
Where's the nearest telephone?"
He telephoned TO the safe people and
demanded to know why they had sent
him safe that got out of order the first
day. They replied that their safes never
got out of order. and sent over an expert
The expert examined the knob and gave
it as his opinion that the lock had been
tempered with. He worked at it for Il,
couple of hours and then got it open. As
the wife had expected, the safe was prac-
tically empty.
81 told YOU how it would be when YOU
got IT," she sobbed. we never were rob
bed until YOU got that safe"
The husband said nothing. but rushed
out for the police. Policemen in uniform
and detectives in plain clothes hurried to
the house and began TO stare with wrin-
killed. brows at the safe. While they were
so engaged the maid servant came in from
her night ont. She looked upon the scene
with amazement. Then the light dawned
on her.
Have they robbed the safe?" she ex-
claimed, gleefully. Really and truly"
ooh. Mary" sobbed her mistress.
they've stolen all my silver"
"Whatr shouted Mary in sudden alarm.
and she rushed for the closet.
What is it, demanded the mistress.
Selling her I'm sudden hope
The silver. exclaimed Mary.
Where did you put it?''
Where but on the back shelf Of the
closet" and Mary broke away to search
her hiding place. There the silver re-
posed i'm safety
Mary carried it out carefully and looked
over each piece aftectionately. Then she
glanced at the safe IN scorn.
You don't think I'd trust IL i'm anvthine
like that. do you?" she asked ia her most
contemptuous tone.
The policemen and the detectives went
away. The safe man fingered. He look
cd dOubtfully az The silver and then M the