The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-06-20

Whose place II really is to speak.
Washington Star.
How was the bride given awayr
by her complexion" Chicago Rec
ord.
Gazley-"ls 1t good to eat at night be-
fore going to bed?" Lazbey-"Be def
mite, man, is what good to eatr'-Ro..
bury Gazette.
Old Bachelor-"Now that your sister
has married, It is your turn Young
lady-'Is that meant as an offer?r-
Lustige Batter.
'Thous hast pretty wit" quoth the
monarch. AYE, and dry humor." re-
piled the Jester. Whereupon the king
pushed the button.-P Philadelphia Rec
ord.
After the Ball.-First Sweet Thing
"Jack says Miss Passe didn't look TWEEN
ty last night" Second Sweet Thing
mo. She looked thirty
York Tribune.
Corroborated. - New-Yorker Are
Philadelphians as slow as New Workers
think they are?" Philadelphia (sur-
prised)-"Do NEWCOMERS think we're
slow Truth.
1T is sad" said one girl, that so
many men nowadays have great deal
more money than brains" yes"
sighed another; land so little money at
that. Washington Star.
fftx xxvbx hoe o,.~ E..ou~t. r~~ot..
ton Club called an extra meetingT
"Oh, Nan, we are SO bothered; we can't
find out whether we're read two vol
umes or three."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Belle-"You know Jack Giddiboy, OF
course; don't you think he is just out
Of sight?" Sadie-"Indeed he Isl a
very personification OF the old saying.
out of sight out of mind Boston
Courier.
IT'S well your heaviest wraps to wear
When you a-skating go,
Fen though for frost you do not care;
They break the fall, you know.
Washington Star.
81 understand your daughter has
given up bicycle riding" Yes. She
sold her wheel as soon as she found out
she couldn't wear high-heeled shoes on
it with any degree Of success. "-Chica-
go Evening Post.
Hoax-'Timley went to Alaska pros
pecting for gold, and found lead In
stead" Joax-"Ahi In large quaint
ties, suppose, and valuable" Hoax
NO; in small quantities. and fatal
Philadelphia Record.
Mamma-"What do you mean by
taking that piece of cake? When you
asked for 1t didn't say nor Tommy
'You did: but last night | heard papa
say that when n woman says no she al
ways mean yes."-Truth.
Dolly-I hear Mary Antique was
great belle at the dance the other even
ing. She told me she danced every
dance. Polly-Oh, yes. Mary's JUST
the kind of a girl to be belle at leap
year dance.-Harvard's Bazaar
Here's a motto that's as certain
AS that two pints make quart:
Time and tide will wait for no man.
Little, big, or long or short
Philadelphia Item.
She-Oh, yes; know that you think
that woman is q silly creature, whose
head can be turned by mere hnery.
He-It is sure to be turned II some
other woman passes with the mere
tinery on.-Indianapolis Journal
Mrs. Greene-Of course, you read all
your husbands stories? Mrs. White
(wife Of the popular author)-oh' dear,
mol They are nothing to the stories
he sometimes tells me after be mas
been out of an evening.-Boston Irans-
cript
Office Boy-There is a man outside
who wishes to see you. Business Man
Didn't I give orders that l was not TO
be disturbed? Office Boy-ies. sir out
this is a very mild-looklng man.
don't think he would create disturb
ance.-Truth.
Maud-I hear proposing parties are
all the stvle this winter. The girls do
the proposing and the one VINO pro,
poses the best gets the prize. rave
YOU been to any? Ethel-No; but
had a proposing party come TO me lne
other evening. How do you IKE my
ring?-Harper' Bazaar.
Beneaeld-A cynical writer remarks
that a wedding always brings napp.'
ness to two. the florist and the clergy
man. Bloomfeld-He forgets Inc IA
Their OF the bride, especially If the poor
man has half dozen other dausn'vi'
on his hands.-Pittsburg Cnrou'0'e'
Telegraph.
I The natural history class WIN NV
D write down the names OF twelve a. a.
tic animals" said the teacher ID .io,
, notonous tones. Little Johnnie das ,l.l
. of the following and handed MS S,a' s
proudly TO the teacher; TX seas as
polar hears and one walrus. Ne"
York Evening Sun
9 willie" said the Doaru'n
] mistress 10 her young son, Il was
ashamed of you at dinner. You Ae ep
S vour arms on the table during tne gu
d ire mealr Eyes. mamma was sn'
aopefurs reply; Il didn't want Ito 70 s s,s
: he boarders chance to say there Vas
, sothin' on the table. '-fsAKers SA