davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald., 1896-04-19

A lecturer upon domestic economy maintain.
that food prepared in a room properly aired
and lighted IL much more palatAble than that
The state Of the atmosphere ahects the quail
ity Of food. fact apparently forgotten by
men who planned the basement kitchen.
The herald., 1896-04-19

Mistress-I can't say that you were Al
ways respectful. Bridget; still. will put II
In the Recommendation.
Bridget-Thank you. ma'am. An III ~
;he same thing Nv you.
The herald., 1896-04-19

A well-known barrister astonished jury
recently. He was defending man who
had been knocked down in a street night.
"And while he was on the ground. gentle
men," said the learned counsel my cnent
called out, Hi, hi!'-or words to that ef-
fort
The herald., 1896-04-19
Jimson-smithera !. discouraged al

JInson-Sn1tnels u ulscourHsed dpout
his love affair.
Minson-What has happened?
HE was In the act of proposing last
night when the girls father and mother
came In"
What did smithers do?''
stopped short, of course
What did the girl do:"
"She said: What were you saying, Mr..
Smitherso'"
The herald., 1896-04-19

Small Boy (who has become interested IN
coin collectirg)-Papa, what Is tine rarest
coin that you know OF?
Papa (sadly)-The sovereign. my son;
| tha pritieh sovereign.
The herald., 1896-04-19
"Robert, you can't have coffee for break
hst this morning-the water pipe is frozen
~"
"Oh, well-make some tea them"

(, First Actress-Why. haven't you heard.
dear. I'm engaged for one of the principal
parts in Beauty and the Beast?
plays Beauty?
The herald., 1896-04-19

"Weil." said Snaggs. II think many dogs
have more sense than their masters"
"Yes." chimed In Craggs. II have a dog
like that myself" (And yet he couldn't
make out why they laughed)
The herald., 1896-04-19
In a well-known street in London a beg

In a well-known street in London q beg
gar was often seen plodding about with a
small dog. The dog was held by piece Of
chain, and had round his neck placard
with PITY the blind" in large, red letters.
Mr.. T, passing eae day. dropped a
sixpence into the mans outstretched hand.
"Halloa!" he cried as he was turning
away, was that a half-sovereign I gave
your"
mo, sir-no," answered the beggar,
"only sixpence."
49," said Mr.. T.. "you are not blind,
then, after all?"
"Bless you, sir, nol'' he replied. "You
see, the placard refers to tho dog. He'a
blind--not me!'-Tid Bits.
The herald., 1896-04-19

Patient-I am 30 much better to-day, doc
tor. really feel as II could stand almost
anything"
Doctor-Ah, glad to hear. Permit mo
to present my bill. patient has relapse.)
The herald., 1896-04-19
Not Quite the Same.

Kate we'd last year and went away;
Now. homesick, sighs she, Had tar
ried!'
Maud stayed at home. and, every day,
She, homesick. cries: Would were mar
ried!
The herald., 1896-04-19

"You know, George" she was explaining,
II was brought up without any care
Marry me. my darling" said George,
',and you shall have nothing but care"
The herald., 1896-04-19

seven Children After Three Years
Marriage.
Such was the present offered to her hus-
band. a poor sergeant of police. by his
Young wife. That looks promising. The
fact having got into the papers, the gen
Ssrme received a money order for so marks
from an unknown correspondent, who
styles himself "Pity." and who writes
10 saw that the money was not sent him
out Of admiration, but in the hope that he
would let we'll enough alone.-La Cote
dor
The herald., 1896-04-19

The up-to-date woman scorna Ice cream. Her
preference ID for toasted crackers and cheese
with cup OF black coffee as dessert.
The herald., 1896-04-19

Many 4 heotoos afraid to trust her precious
cut glass to ~ caro- Of servants washes Il her
self warm wo1ee and soap being brought int
he dining ree0 - he soAclusion OF each meal
The herald., 1896-04-19

A child on being shown the picture Of
Daniel In the Lions Den," was affected
to tears.
Don't grieve, pet" said the mother, "he
was not devoured."
I'm not crying for that" was the reply;
but do you see that little lion in the corr
ler, mamma? Well, I'm afraid he won't
get any, for Daniel is so small he won't 90
round"
The herald., 1896-04-19

Clean plaster Of paris ornaments with wet
starch. Brush them of when dry,
The herald., 1896-04-19

fern stitches are used in applique work. And
they serve to strengthen the material that
forms the pattern well as to enrich it.
The herald., 1896-04-19

Young Lady (tailor-made my seat,
please. ,n
Old Lady (near-sighted but grateful,-
Thank you. sir; you are the only gentle
man In the carriage.
The herald., 1896-04-19
l:17gHafar i,.,,,

''Do you let your wife have her own
way?"
"Oh, yes; it's only when she wants to have
mine that object
The herald., 1896-04-19

Genuine old-fashioned doughnuts are much
called for at swell groceries.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
THE TRICK DIDN'T WORK.
The Child Was willing to Accept IL br
the Mother Objected.

'"o Nhiiu was Wiling 10 Accept lt Dut
the Mother objected.
A well-meaninfg young woman was
covered with confusion.
She read of the pretty trick that u
gentleman acquaintance OF mine loves
TO practice upon poor children-that
of taking penny out of the child's
hair and presenting 1t to the amazed
youngster-and she thought she was
an excellent opportunity.
A shabby dressed, shoeless girl sat
next TO her, holding the hand of her
mother. who was even shabbicr and
dirtier than the child.
The lady took nickel from her
pocketbook, "palmed" 1t, and then
said, as she seized one of the little
girls struggling locks
"Mcrcy on me! What have you got
In your hair?"
Nothing de mat wild her halr!"
hissed the matron. She was aR Ital.
ian, and her eyes blazed with anger.
Her hair all righta. | comba dis
morn. You mlnda your own bizw
The phlanthropist paled.
"You don't understand me, madam"
she gasped. 1T was a trick of mine"
mo wanta any trickaw
TO take this coin out of her hair
and give it to her. Here, little girl"
The child reached for the nickel,
but the mother pushed it away.
mo beggarv' she said, as her eyes
glowed with rage. "My man he maka
dolla day. She gotta good clothes for
Sunday. You 60 awayr'
And away my friend went accord
ingly.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
He Couldn't Fool Her.

AS Mr.. Krewskin was going home
the other day at noon, he saw the wa.
gon of a travelling photographer.
II will stop and have few tin
types taken just for fun" he mentally
remarked, entering the peripateAc es
tablishment.
There" said the photographer
showing him proof" II think that
pretty good likeness"
Krewskin looked at 1t with a puz
zled expression, and finally said: 81
guess it'll do" When he got hom,
he showed the tintype to his wife and
Jokingly told her it was picture OF
the "Wild Man from Borneo." down
at the dime museum.
"You can't fool me-" said his wife
examining the picture critically. "I've
seen the Wild Man from Borneo, and
he is not half so homely and frightful
looking as this"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
Tyrolese Marriage ProposnIs.

There is an old custom prevailing
among the Tyrolese regarding pro-
posals for marriage. The first time a
young man pays a visit as an avowed
lover he brings with him bottle of
wine, of which he pours out n glass
and presents it to the object Of his de-
sire.
If she accepts 1t the whole affair Is
settled. Very often the girl has not
yet made up her mind; and then she
will take refuge in excuses, so as not
to drink the wine, and yet not refuse
1t point blank, for that Is considered
a gross insult, proving that she has
been merely trlfling with the affections
Of her lover.
She will, for instance. maintain that
the wine 'looks sour" or that wine
disagrees with her, or that she is
afraid of getting tlpsy, or that the
priest has forbidden her to take any;
in fact she makes use of any subter-
fuge that presents itself at that mo-
ment.
This purport of these excuses is that
that the wine Offering is premature.
This strange custom, dating very
far back according to one account, it
was known as early as the ninth cen
tury), is called bringing the wine,"
and is synonymous with the act of
proposing.
Shy lovers, loath to make sure Of
their case beforehand, find at very
happy institution. Not a word need
be spoken, and the girl is spared the
painful mo" Of civilization.
If any Of the wine is spilled or the
glass of bottle broken, 1t is considered
most unhappy omen; in fact, there
is peasants saying for an unhappy
marriage: "They have spilled the
wine between them"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
READlN(
ia Y RAILROAD SYSTEM
In effect May, II, 1896.

For New York. Philadelphia, Reading Potts.
vile, Tamaqua, weekdays II. a. m.
For Nilliamsport, weekdays, 7.35 a. m, $50 p.
For Danvllle and Milton. weekdays, 7.s5 a. M,
For Catawissa weekdays 7.s5, Has a. m, 1870.
500. 6.33, p. m.
For Rupert weekdays. 7.s5, iI.4s a, m, 1870. $50
For baltimore, washington and the West via
b. Q. X. r., through trains leave Reading Ter
minal, philadelphia, 800 7,Ss, ii:ss q. m, a.4e
SAC, 7.27, p. m. Additional trains from % and
Chestnut street station, weekdays, 1875, 5si,
s aS p. m. Sundays 1.s5, s23 p. m.
TRAINS FOR BLooMsBURGi
Leave New York via Philadelphia 500 a
m, and via Easton s.10 a. m,
Leave Philadelphia 1905 a. m.
Leave Reading II. .55 a. m.
Leave ottsvile 1890 p. N.
Leave Tamaqua 1.N a. M,
Leave Wiliiainsport weekdays lO.2O a m. 4.sO p.
Leave catawissa weekdays, 700, s.9oa. m. 1.so,
3.22, 6.l5.
Leave rupert, weekdays, 7.oS, ss7. a. m, 1l.56
LS, 3.31, 6.23.
ATLANTIC CITY DIVISION.
Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut Street wharf
and South Street wharf for Atlantic City.
WEKK-DAYs-Express, 800, a. M, 200, 400,
500, p. m. Accom-. 500 a. M, $50 p. m.
SUNDAY-Express 900, 1000 am. Accom-.
90 a. m. ana 4.45 p. m.
Leave Atlantic City, depot: WERK-DAYs-
Express, 785, 9 90, a. M. $50, $40, p. m. Accom-
S15 a. M, 4.32 p. m. SUNDAY-Express, 400,
730, p. m. Accom-, 7.l5 a. m, AIS p. IN.
Parlor cars on all express trains.
la. SwEIGARD. q. G. HANCOCK,
Gen'l superintendent. Gen1 Pass. Agt
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
An ED er's Head.

At one time the Presbyterians OF
Ulster were discussing the ignorance
and stupidity of one of their mum
ber, whose blunders were constantly
getting other people, as well as him,
self, into trouble.
"And what notion he has in his
head nowr' exclaimed one of the
elders, in dismay.
"His headv echoed one Of the minis
ters. 'Ie has no head What you
call head is only topknot that his
Maker put there to keep him from
ravelling outv'
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
The Only Way.

Father-'I understand you think OF
getting marriedY"
Son-"Yes, sir"
Father-"Have you given the mat
ter your calm consideration, and de-
liberated thoroughly upon the gravity
and Importance Of the step, as well
as upon the uncertainties and posi-
bilities of the new relationT
Son-"No, sir"
Father-"You have not? And why
have you not?"
Son-"Because, sir, really want tc
get married"
er-"Um-er-ah-I guess you
are right about it. Go ahead; it's the
only way, l fancy."-Detroit Free
Press
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
Expected to Tin Them,

Hotel Clerk-"I can give you a
pleasant room on the top floor, but you
will have to pass the servants quar-
ters to get to it,"
Guest-"Oh, that's all right. I ex.
pect to pass 'em quarters to get any.
thing,r
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
Before Subscribing fer Magazine
SEE THE BEST.
DEMOREST'S
An UnparaIIed Offer.

DemOrest's Cut Paper Patterns
are the most practical on the market. They are
OF any size that any member OF household
printed coupon emitting the subscriber, or
purchaser, to pattern (worth and regularly
sold for 35c.), or any number or patterns for four
cents each to cover package and postage.
When the value OF the patterns is considered
the subscriber actually gets
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12

"Turn the rascals out"--the familiar
party-cry-may be applied to microbes
as well as to men. The germs of dl-
sease that lurk in the blood are
"turned OUT by Ayers Sarsaparilla
as effectually as the old postmasters
are displaced by new administration.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
Give 1t a Trial.

On receipt of ten cents, cash or
stamps, a generous sample will be
mailed of the most popular Catarrh
and Hay Fever Cure (Ely's Cream
Balm) sufficient to demonstrate It's
great merit. Full size soc.
ELY BROTHERS,
60 Warren ST., New York City.
Nv son was afflicted with catarrh.
l induced him to try Ely's Cream
Balm and the dlsagreeable catarrhal
smell all left him. He appears as
well as any one.-J, C. Olmstead,
Arcola, Ill.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12

The I-told-you-so men are quite
now, that the election is
over.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-11-12
Demorest's Magazine Free.

And what a Magazine it is! For 1897 1t will be
more brilliant than ever before. New manage
ment, new methods, new IDEAS Each copy con-
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lt is DIGEST OF CURRENT EVENTS AND IDEAS
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The scope OF the articles for 1896 and 1897 will
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Let us have your subscription at once. You
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The Magazine one year for $500.
or six months for 100
(OyER $50 DIFFERENT GARMENTS ARE SHOWN
BACH YEAR, PATTERNS OF ALL OF WHICH ARR
0BTAINABLE BY SUBSCRIBERS AT DC. EAcH.)
SAMPLE COPY with PATTERN CoUPoN) SENT FOR
10 cts.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20
two weeks but came by it honestly"
D. A. Stuart and =. G.. Truax

two weeks but [ came by it honestly"
D. A. Stuart and U. G.. Truax
dropped in. 81 call it an Infamous
lie when the statement is made that
checks and drafts can do the work of
money" the speaker continued.
Reading the Globe has made me a
silver man." John O'Hara and G. E.
Lamberton dropped back in. "The
higher the civilization the greater the
need for more money. The free and
unlimited coinage of silver would send
it back to where it was in 1973-on a
par with gold. 1t would lessen the de-
mand for gold and create demand
for silver. The characterization of sill >,
yer was for the purpose of blasting the
happiness of mankind"
Here your Uncle 10 Chadderdon
was called for. AS usual Your Uncle
10 was eloquent from the start, and
after Mr.. Mcleod stated that the
speech would be short one, Uncle
10 launched off on the oppressors and
oppressed. "Our forefathers crossed
the ocean on account of oppression"
he said. "It was on our continent
when that great Populist, Abraham
Lincoln, knocked the shackles from
slavery. Washington was the other
Populist who opposed oppression"
Uncle 10 stoutly maintained that it
was alright to criticise the Supreme
Court for holding the income tax un-
constitutional. He then launched off
on the silver question, contending that
the act of 1873 was surreptitiously rail-
roaded through both bodies of Con-
gress. He contended that neither the
Democratic or Republican parties
were progressive and hence the neces-
sity for the Populist party.
U.G. Truax was the next speaker.
Among other things, he stated that
legislation would make silver as valu-
able as gold. He stated that Cleve-
land was the next thing to a traitor on
account of his going back on the
platform on which he was elected.
Truax spoke for nearly an hour on the
money and tariff questions.
At the conclusion of his speech it
was announced that 66 names had al
ready been secured for membership
in the bi-metallic league, and that all
who wished could sign, no matter who
they intended to vote for. Four more
names we're added after which H. N
Bell was elected President, DR.. E. L.
Halves was elected vice President and
W. j. Mcleod secretary.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20
GOT in THE NECK.

Prof. j. L. Torrens alleges to have
got it in the neck at the hands of Mrs.
Matt. Parsons one day last week.
According to his statement the woman
threw boiling hot water on him. The
water struck him in the neck and
scalded him so badly that it blistered.
Then according to his allegation she
hit him over the eye with dipper and
pulled gun on him. All this is al
legged to have occurred on Aug. 18th
last Thursday.
Prof. Torrens shortly after swore
out warrent for the arrest of the
woman. He set forth those items as
the basis of the complaint. The war
laat was issued from the Justices
court of that town but the case is
likely to be transferred to Lamberton.
When Deputy Sheriff Peter Praxel
served the warrant the husband was
not at home. Mrs. Rarsons asked
that the Deputy wait until he returned
from Redwood Falls. Peter did not
want to wait that long. Then she
begged his indulgence for few NOM
ents for the purpose of changing her
gown. The deputy considerably al
lowed her tO do this. According r.
his story he waited for some time,
after which he went to the bedroom
door, found Mrs. Parsons disrCbed
and in bed. Peter waited until Par
sons returned. Mrs. Parsons went to
Lamberton with him and the case was
adjourned for a week, Mrs. Parsons
giving bonds for her appearance.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20
SILVER LEAGUE.
S. Potato Dean Was not Present to
Talk.

There were 80 voters in the hall, ac-
cording to actual count, when Attor-
ney W. j. Mcleod stepped to the
rostrum of G.. A. R. hall last Friday
evening and stated the object for
which the bi-metallic or silver meeting
had been called. Eight of the num-
Der were from North Redwood. Later
in the evening it was announced that
66 signers to the bi-metallic or silver
document had been received and that
the list was open. There were four
more names added. Some of the
names were out-of-town residents.
1t was advertised that the Hon. S.
Potato Dean of Omaha would deliver
the address of the evening on potato
peelers, silver and bi-metallism. Ac-
cording to the bills the Hon. S. Potato
Dean was an old classmate of Willie
Bryan, the double-tailed candidate
for President. But the Hon. S. Pota-
to failed to show up and thereby
hangs tail.
He came to town Wednesday-some
say, on stipulation that he was to re-
ceive so pieces Of silver for doing So.
He was coralled by couple of silver
ties and when he told them that he
was an old classmate of Willie their
Demosthenes had been found Would
he speak? Certainly. A man of his
calibre is always ready to speak-es-
pecially for the silver. That night he
argued on the curb-stone and red fire
was burned. The next day he was
canvassing to sell potato peelers. He
had the art down pat, peeling pota-
toes, cutting Saratoga chips, French
fried, German fried, etc., and he al
legged to have sold 100 when he ap-
peared in The GAZETTE office. That
night he again appeared in the role of
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20

/
under protest.
curb stone orator aud held large
crowd over in front of Hotel Francois.
The committee on speaker was de-
| lighted to know that the Hon. S. Pota-
to acquitted himself by wearing out
everybody but William @. Lines, who
was too much for S. Potato. William
@. was there still at six o'clock Fri
day morning. But the Hon. S. Potato
was missing. At five o'clock that
morning he paid his hotel bill, en-
gagged a livery team, and departed for
points unknown.
The silverites were worked up over
the experimentation they got on to it.
This was not until seven o'clock Fri
day evening. Then they accused
Mark Hanna and William @. Lines of
working together by wire and getting
him out of town-duplicating the sill
yer with gold. The fact that Mr..
Lines did not appear on the streets
that night, they said, was a confirma-
ton of that statement.
Getting down to business Attorney
Mcleod stated that Denis, Pops and
Prohibs we're all together for silver or
Dimetallism. Here Chief Crooks and
Swan Nielander dropped in and G. E.
Lamberton and J. H. Melges dropped
out. Then Nc. said that another
speaker had been engaged for the &C.
casion but he was sorry to say that he
had not kept the engagement. His en-
gagements of selling potato peelers
we're SO important, the speaker i'm
piled, that he was obliged to leave
town at five o'clock that morning, go
to Morton and Fairfax. from whence
he could not return. Eve were sim
core in getting him." Nc. said, "but
we did not get him." Then Nc. took
fall out of gold himself. He said
that the present was one of the most
marvellous uprisings the country has
ever seen. Here F. M. Birkenmeyer,
Arthur Plover Goudy, A. B. Truesdell
Your Uncle 10 Chadderdon, DIV Earl
and j. T. Stegner dropped in.
"The partisan press has heaped
abuse upon Bryan and his followers
and called them anarchists" shouted
Mr.. Mcleod. Here G.. w. Vaughn
and G. O. Morgan dropped in to sec
the fun. "When the epithet of anar
chist is applied to such men as Bryan
and Lind they honor the word an
archist. | have only been on this side
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20
Homeseekers' Excursion.

Over the Minneapolis & ST. Louis
Railroad will be run on Aug. Is, Sept.
l, Is, 20, Oct. and 20. From all points
to Kansas, Nebraska, Wyoming, Col
orado, Utah, Minnesota, Iowa, Wis
consin, North and South Dakota, Ar
kansas, Indian Territory, Oklahoma,
Texas, Louisiana, Arizona, Kentucky,
Tennessee, Mississippi, and other terri
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20
HOW'S This!

We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY g. CO., Props, Toledo, o.
We the undersigned, have known F. J,
Cheney for the last IS years, and believe
transactions and financially able to carry
out any obligations made by their firm.
WEST & TRUAx, Druggists, Toledo, o.
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directing upon the blood and muscous
surfaces of the system. Price 75c. per bottle.
Sold by all druggists. Testimonials free.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20

House for sale or rent, one block from
school house. House newly painted
and pleasantly located. Enquire of
52-2t M. DEWITT MARTIN.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20
Wanted.

l wish to hire the use of buggy for
three months. Inquire of S. P. Fullen
at residence on the corner of Mill and
Bridge streets. soft
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-08-20

The rate one fare for the round trip,

tory.
The rate one fare for the round trip,
plus $500. Tickets good for twenty
days.
For full particulars call on or write
any agent of the Minneapolis & st.
Louis Railroad Company, or address
A. B. Cults, General Passenger and
Ticket Agent, Minneapolis, Mimi. ct