The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-04-04
A Good Time In New York.


AS l was about to climb the stairs of
the Third avenue elevated at Twenty
third street the other day a short, fat
mar came tnmbling down with a great
CHATTER and brought up with q smash
which would have busted a barrel of
cider.
"That's too bad" / said as I helped
him to his feet and picked up his hat for
him.
"Oh, don't mind me-, he exclaimed
i'll reply. "That's four times I've fell
down stairs today, and I haven't skassly
barked my shins over it,. Leone down
to New York to have a good time, and
/ amt goin to kick about anything"
$50 you are seeing New York;"
"Seein with both eyes. She's a buster
of a town, amt she? Went strollin
around last night, and a Teller stole my
watch, but l made no kick. That's what
l expected when / started from home,
you know"
"Have you lost your overcoat?' I ask
ed, seeing he had non with him.
"That's what 1 have, sir. Went into
an eatin house t'other night and hung
or up and asked the waiter if she'd be
stole if I didn't keep an eye on her. He
said she would, and while I was eatin
supper she was. Yes, sir, some Teller
walked right off with her a cool as ice,
but l amt sayin a word. When I'm
out fur a good time. I never kick"
"Haven't LOST any money, have your"
"Yes, sir. I expect I have. Teller
over OIL Fourteenth street Slapped me On
the back and said he used to go to skule
with me and wanted to borry S.. I out
with the money and hain't seen him
sence. Yes, reckon I've lost hat five,
but am I kickin: Not much Expected
to lose my hull $37 before I've been
here two days, but I'm ahead of the
game. Teller beat me not over an hour
ago."
"How was that?"
'"Poked me in the ribs and said he
used to know my brother Cyrus and
then asked me in to have a beer with
him. While I was talkin to another man
he slid out, and I had to pay. I don't
mind those things, though. was in a
place up here where they was playin
keerds. Teller asked me to take a hand
at poker, and the fust thing I knowed
I'd lost Sc. They sorter expected I'd
kick, but I didn't. Lands alive, but
what's the use of kickin when you come
down to see New York;"
"But you ought to be more careful Of
yourself" I protested.
"Oh, let them have fun with Uncle
Reuben il they wanter," he laughed in
reply. "Feller down here took my spec
tacles off my nose as / was readin a sign
and walked off with 'em, but I didn't
holler nor chase him up. He jest want
ed to have a little fun, you see, and
wasn't goin to tear down line fences
| about it. One of them cable kyars OF
Broadway knocked me off the track 10th
er day, and more'n a dozen fellers want
ed me to lick the conductor and sue tht
company. They didn't mean to run mt
J down. It's jest their way, you know
I expected to be run over at least fou'
:. times before / got out of town
! well, you take things pretty easy. "
"Of course. When I'm to home ant
things don't go right, I kuss arount
some, but I come down here to have
. good time, and I amt goin to sass ant
! jaw and kick. Feller over on Sixth av
: enue kicked me three times, but did
9 holler and raise a riot? No stree!
{ come down here expectin to be tookel
q fur some one else and kicked, and ISes
I kept still till he found out his mistak
and apologized. Said he took me fur
9 Teller who stole his hat.
"Well, have a good time / said a
I turned to SO. .
"You bet l willr' he replied as b
9 waved me farewell. "When ! fell dow
stairs. I busted my ~suspenders, tore tn
d back out Of my vest and ripped a coal
o tail loose, but I'm all right-all rigl
land I'll git sowed mp and then hur
fur a circus"