Delaware gazette and state journal., 1896-04-02
EYESiSG ECHoEs.

Sihhati enquirer.
Poker chips are peculiar. When a
man has only white ones he feels blue I;
put whom he has blue onee he paints
things red. Toledo Blade.
Il don't like her singing. uer notes
come from her chest. - "Well, ought
they not?" No, indeed. They ought
to stay there. "--Dotroit News.
Maud-Did you ever win a pair Of
gloves by kissing man? Marion-I
did better than that. | got ring by
kissing one. Buffalo Commercial.
Have another cigar, uncleY" "No,
thank you, my DEAR "There are
plenty of them. "Yes: but there a
only one OF me. "--Harper's Bazaar.
Fuddy-They say that monkeys can
talk. Duddy-Yes; but let US give
them full credit by acknowledging that
they don't do it-Boston Transcript.
She langrilyl--I was fool when
married you. He-Aren't you a fool
still? She--No, am not. He-Then
you should be thankful to me for re
forming you. -Tid-Bits.
Yes" said one theatrical manager,
" that artists salary is $500 week. {"
Indeed" replied tho other. "Do
you mind telling me how much she
Washington Star.
1t should be an occasion Of great re-
loicing to the neighbors when the
oldest girl of the family marries; the
oldest girl usually owns the niano and
takes 1T with her. -Atchison Globe.
They can take photographs of the
invisible nowadays.'' - "Great Caesar |!
can they? Well, it would do mo lots of
good to see even a tintype of that $40
bill you owe mo. "-Chicago Record.
Some people do their best work in
the winter. Now, can do the clearest
and most brilliant thinking when the
weather is hot" "How brilliant you
will be whom you die p'--Pick Me- Up.
Charles Really, think that Miss
Gray takes good deal of interest in
me. Henry But you should remember
that where the interest is large security
is apt to be rather poor. Boston
Herald.
. How is your daughter getting on
with the piano, Numson?" First
rate. She can play with both hands
now. She says she will be able to play
with her ear in six months. House
hold Words.
Yeast-I believe in battle the mu-
sicians always go to the rear? Grim
sonbeak-fes and that is the reason so
many would-be soldiers think they
would be willing to face the music. :
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Graves says her husband is the
most considerate of mortals. Why
she says, II might wear bonnet for
Nn arg Nd ha a l.
feelings by telling me how shabby it
looked. '-Boston Transcript.
She (calmly)--I think there is a
burglar in the house. Listeni He
Oh, that's mouse you hear! She
(excitedlyl yl-William, why do you seek
to play upon my fears that wayY You
know 1t isn't a mouse. Detroit Tri-
bune.
Employer tkindlyl-You are be-
coming very round shouldered. Mr..
Faithful. Boogkeeper with hopes of
a holiday | fear that | am.
Employer (solicitiously) ~ Hadn't you
bettor stop riding a bicycle?'-
sons Weekly.
Customer-Say, wants the ugliost
valentine youse has in dc shop. Me
an mo goil had scrap, an wants
to send her somet'in' dat III scare her
--seeT opkeeper-Um-er--- why
don't you go to photographer
llarper's Bazaar.
% You must have misunderstood me,
waiter These are veal outlets, Dreaded,
aren't they?" "Y- Y-yes, sab. " 81 or.
derod pork tenderloin.. /" eyes, sab.
Jcs take Off the bread part of it, sab,
"a N Il Il 1ah
Chicago Tribune.
what did you SEQ in America,
Unclc2" cried tho boys. "Oh. / saw
the Catskill Mountains, said Uncle
Peter, jocosely. II expect it was one
OF those mountains that brought forth
tho mouse, said Jock, thoughtfuly.
Household Words.
THAT umbrella you lent me yester-
day ''-said the man who had just come
into the office. "Yes?'' Here it is.
! came to return it" "Dear me-"
was the absent minded reply, 81 had
no idea IL was in such bad condition as
that. ''-Chicago Times.
Marie--Women are fast leaving their
own walks Of life, aren't they? Billson
Yes; but there is one walk which
they will always leave to man. Marie
What is that? Billson-Up and down
tho bedroom half the night with rest
less baby. -Pearson's Weekly.
Johnny" asked tho clergyman, "'if
you could have your way. what would
you do with Sunday?" I'D postpone
it until Monday, +" replied the urchin.
Then you think you would enjoy itY''
- Yes guess so, fer school keeps then,
you know. Adams Freeman.
The member for the North South
Blankshire: Gentlemen, you twit me
with having turned my coat Years
ago supported this measure. Then
had reason. But now. gentlemen, l
have lost my reason. And he wondered
at tho deafening smile that pervaded
the meeting. Household Words.
MIR. Chips-Mr. Greathead, | want
to map out line of journalistic study
for you! Young assistant am pretty
well up to newspaper knowledge as it
is, sir. Mr.. Chips-I am aware of that,
Mr.. Greathead, but you know too much. \
| would suggest that you devote one
hour each day 10 forgetting something.
Chips,
81 see" remarked Mr.. Hashcroft, at
the breakfast table, that the coffee
crop of Honduras has been seriously
reduced by two unusually dry seasons. "
That's odd, replied the Star
Boarder, as he set down his cup after
taking a sip. II never noticed
scarcity of water in the coffee. ''-Ex-
change.
Deacon Jones-As | was coming
through the room | saw Mrs. Smith
and Miss Robinson. They were talk
ing about the early martyrs. Deacon
Brown-If there's any scandal a-going,
let them women alone for getting hold
of IL RuE n,hat mnn Ii thn nnrlu