Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-07-09
HE WAS GOING TO MARRY.
So He Was Visited by Several Insurance
Agents.

So He Was Visited by Several Insurance
Agents
When a man makes preparations 20
get married he takes his life IN MS
hand. Unless he is a brave lad and
stands ready to sacrifice his comfort at
all hours OF the day, ne had better keep
out of it. AS soon as it was announced
that Lwas to- he married an accident in
surance agent fioated before me.
You are going to take a trip" says
he.
Who told your" says l.
The paper" says he.
We'll, said l, whose business is ft?"
81 thought" he stamered, that you
would like an accident policy"
Think again." quoth |. This is no
accident. II is the result Of careful de-
liberation"
You ought to have policy to pro-
tect you on the trip" said he.
Where do you think I'm going to
ride; on the cowcatcher?" | replied.
Certainly not he said, Out the train
something may happen TO the train"
We'll" said l, smiling gleesully, go
and insure the train then
You misunderstood me-" he said,
blu5hing. You are in danger while
you are on the trip
Well" | said looking away off to-
ward the Seven Corners, Il know some
body who is in danger unless he takes a
trip, and a sudden one at that
Then he vanished.
He wasn't out of the door when a
second agent appeared. He represent
ed a straight life concern where you
nave to die to get the best of it,
DO you need a po!icy?" he asked.
Il need lots of it" | answered, ito
prevent me from laying violent fists on
you fellows"
Your wife needs protection" said he.
Il have no wife as yet" said l, but if
l can't protect her I'll have a guardian
appointed for her"
Il mean" he said, that she will be
without protection if you die"
so would any wife under like cir
cumgtances," quoth |, and | am prob
ably the best little quother who ever
rooted for ball team.
you shouldn't leave her without pro-
lection" he ventured.
Its none of your business if I leave
her at South st. Paul." said |, wrath
fully; and it must have scared him, for
he gulped down choke or two.
You don't know her" | continued;
"She isn't an orphan asylum. I'VE are
not going to get maqrried for protection,
you lobster-faced cucumber" ..
No. he murmured, but suppose you
die"
Its an American prerogative," said
|; this time very testify, people have
been known to do it before; in fact, it's
habit the people have. They always
DO that when they're due. What's the
matter with you; do you want me to
live all the time?"
Il Think ne said, edging away, that
I'll come in again
DO" | replied. as l returned to my
roast Of the umpire, and we'll make it
to finish"
The third man who came wanted to
sell me a book on How to Treat a
|, Wife," but inasmudh as / had already
naoeiveGi instructions over and over
again on that score, gave him the chilly
mitt. The fourth fellow had a work on
How to Treat a Husband" He's the
only man who made any Roadway with
me whatever. l looked upon him as a
persona, friend, and we had drink to-
go,ner, and he wished me the best OF
luck. Five WALKERS came in to hire out
for the bridal suppers. but told them
l had ;eiegraphed South for my brothers
and they are tine best walters | eve:
saw. AT least, l think they are. be-
cause only one of them is married to
d2te.-St. Paul Dispatch.