davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
THrRrEEN MONTHS IN "A TEAR.
A Proposition to start 1900 With
New Division of Time.

A Proposition to start 1900 With a
New Division of Time.
1t is suggested that on Jan. I, 1900, Il
new division of the year into thirteen
months be instituted. 1t is claimed
that this is not so preposterous as most
people would be likely t. consider it ut
the first thought. If such division
were made. the first twelve months
would have Just twenty-eight days, or
four weeks each, and the new month
twenty4line, to make 3t;5. and one in
leap years. After a few days there
as the same day of the week would
year. If Jan. 1 were, say, Monday,
18th and 22d; every Tuesday, the End,
the year. The changes of the moon
throughout the year, and many calcula-
notes, Easter Sunday and many other
important dates, would be sin,plified.
Although the present generation would
nave ~ AEure ueW udteS AOr DittuuAy
and all legal holidays except New
Year would be on different dates. yet
the gain would be more than the loss,
as that would be permaaent, and the
objections tri1ing.
The proposed change certainly has
the merit Of novelty, and it is just to
say that the argun ents in favor of the
metric system on the ground Of utility,
apply with considerable force to the
present case. We fear, however, that
the objections on the grounds of senti.
ment, which are strong in the matter
of weights and measures, would be
even stronger against the proposed re.
vision of our method of our computing
timc-Scientific American.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
forego the joy Of looking at it.-How
ard Fielding.
The suns Distance.

''rhe sun is about 02,OOO,OOO miles
distant from the earth," writes Allen
w. Quimby in Ladies' Home Journal.
ut varies through the year because
the eartl's orbit is elliptical, and the
sun is at one focus of the cllipse. The
earth lis more than 100000 miles
nearer the sun in December than in
June, at which time the latitldes south
of tho equator re:eive his direct rays
and experience the great heat of the
summer
"Let us try to comprehend the fig
ures stated. The other day two racers
Of the sea proudly lowered the record
Of Transatlantic passage. Could they
turn their prOws to the sun and drive
their great engines day and night in
the crossing of the ether main, it would
be 500 years before they could reach
harbor.
Most persons have noticed the ap-
preciable interval Of time between the
stroke of an AK at distance and the
resultant sound; could we hear the
sound Of a solar explosion we would
know that the explosion had occurred
fourteen years before. Perhaps the
most striking illustration is that which,
imagines a little child to have an arm
long enough to reach the sun. The
child might thrust its fingers into the
seething fires, but it would grow up to
maturity ,and calmly descend into the
valley Of extreme old age, blissfully
unconscious of any pain from the
burning; in fact. it would require an.
other such lifetime to bring the news
to the brain"
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
inside, and there was an alley a foot
wide all the way around it, between II
and tho Nall This mQY seem i'm.

INSIDE, and there was an alley foot
wide all the way around it, between II
and the wall This may seem Inn
probable to a person who does not
know much about New York flats OF
the $4Oa-month grade; but the sOphis-
ticated will only wonder that the bed
got in there at all. am told that the
men who set it up had to climb out of
u window afterwards, but think this
is an exaggeration, because the tall
carved be.lboard entirely covered the
two windows, and thus cast a gloom
over the otherwise happy home. They
found the furniture which had previ-
O,lsly been in tn. parlor divided be-
tween the two bed rooms and com.
pletely filling them.
Housekeeping under these circum-
stances was not what this young wo-
man had been led to expect. In twen-
ty-four hours she had demanded q
larger fiat. Mr.. Barnes went fat
hunting. The adventures of the Wan
dering Jew are a mere stroll compared
to those of the flat-hunter in New
York. Jack was looking for bed
room big enough to hold the mahoga-
nv bedstead. He tells me that this
piece of furniture was so big that he
could hardly carry memorandum of
its dimensions in his largest overcoat
pocket.
Anybody who has ever undertaken a
similar task will know that nothing
can lie so shamefully as foot rule.
Jack found a fiat at last which would
accommodate that bedstead. He cal
culated that it would just cover the
floor of the bed room, and that, by re-
moving a door between this room and
the next, it would be possible to retire
to rest by climbing over the handsome
ly-tarvcd footboard. The rent of this
fiat was S6O 1t would be impossible
to secure larger bed room under SIS,
and the young couple decided that
they would try the experiment.
1t was the man who carried the low
er end of the headboard of the bed up
the stairs in the newly-selected apart
nlent house who told me the nine-ton
story. He was found in faint under
the mass of carved lumber, and they
had to lift it off him with derrick.
And when the pieces of the bed were
got into that fiat they couldn't be set
up in the bed room. think Jacks
wife has never had good opinion of
his intelligence since then. He had
paid his rent in advance for month
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Being Thankful.
1t Would he Easier II We Knew
What Is Good For Us and What

1t Would he Easier II We Knew
What Is Good For Us and What
Isn't.
1t seems to me that the best lesson
of a general and compulsory Thanks
giving should be that, after all, we
never know what is good for us and
what isn't, and so it Is better to take
chances and be thankful, any way. 1t
was in this spirit that the day was OBJ
served in early New England times,
when they had three sermons and only
one dinner, in order to inculcate the
lesson that man should be thankful;
even with the odds three to one against
him.
know man named Jack Barnes,
who was married last Thanksgiving
Day, and he was cheerful almost all
the time, which shows what can be
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
A Concessi0n.

"Yes," remarked Satan, firmly. II
would rather yield something to the
liberal theology than resign myself
into the clutches of the coal trust
Accordingly, he gave orders to have
gasoline stoves substituted for the
ranges hitherto employed.-Detroit
News.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
HULL ON THE STAND.
He Says That He Did Not Attempt to
Poison His Wife

Poison His Wife.
st. Paul, Nov. 20-Rev. John G. Huh.
accused of administering poison to his
wife, took the witness stand in his own
defense today. He denied emphatic
ally that he ever administered poison
to his wife or that he had ever pur-
chased a grain of strychnine. He said
that he had bought his wife bottle Of
liver medicine and took several doses
Of it himself. He thought there was
something wrong with the medicine
and was putting the bottle away in
the pantry when he discovered the bot
tie containing strychnine and also the
package of the drug. He suspected
that his wife was trying to poison her
self and hid the strychnine in his
trunk. Dr. J. l.. Rothrock testified
for the prosecution previous to Hulls
testimony that Mrs. Hull had suffered
from arsenical poisoning. Bertha
Matthews, Mrs. Hull's niece, with
whom Hull is said to have been GRIM
inally intimate, is ON her way here
from Ottawa, Kan. and will proba-
hly testify tomorrow
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28

He Said 1t Weighed Nine Tons.
accomplished by q determination to
make the best of everything. His wife
had quite q number Of rich relations.
l don't mention this fact for the pur-
pose of detracting from my praise of
his demeanor on that occasion, but be-
cause it is essential to the brief story
I wish to tell about him-a story which
illustrates what have Just said about
the impossibility of knowing what to
be thankful for. The relations came
to the scratch nobly, and the presents,
as country newspapers always say,
were numerous and COSTLY" There
were many pieces of handsome silver
ware, we'll calculated to make the ju-
dicious grieve in the seventy mine
dining room of Harlem fat. 1t was
to happy home of that description
that my acquaintance had planned to
take his blushing bride. That's enough
to make any person blush, but what Is
man going to do on q salary of $50
week in New York?
One of the relatives referred to was
in the furniture business. His present
was undoubtedly the handsomest OF
all 1t was mahogany belstead, big
| enough for Mormon elder, and
carved in the highest style of the art
The happy couple were enraptured
when they saw it. The exhibition oc.
CURED in the store of the furniture
man. for, of course, such a thing
couldn't he sent to the brides fathers
house, like sugar spoon in box. Al
eXpressman who subsequently moved
the bedstead told ME that it weighed
nine tons, out think he exaggerated
Moreover it was certainly as massiv,
piece of furniture as ever saw. o.
this account, perhaps, the generous
donor had been unable to sell it, an.
ahd had it numbering up his salesroon
until he had grown. sick of the sight o
it.
The bridegroom gave directions TO
it's removal to the Harlem fiat. H
then thanked his ,wife's uncle for thi
. magnificent gift with tears in his eyes
When Mr.. and Mrs. Bafnes returnc
from their wedding Journey the
!. found the mahogany bedstead alreai
. established in their fiat. They knew
was there, because they were unabl
to open the parlor door. The bed va
-. "a
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
This Is Your Opportunity.

This Is Your Opportunity.
On receipt of ten cents, cash or stamps,
. generous sample will be mailed of the
most popular Catarrh and Hay Fever Cure
(Ely's Cream Balm) sufficient to demon
strate the great merits Of the remedy.
ELY BROTHERS,
sc Warren St., New York City.
Rev. John Reid, Jr.. of Great Falls, Mont,
recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. I
can emphasize his statement, ''1t is posi-
tive cure for catarrh if used as directed."-
Rev. Francis W. Poole, Pastor Central Pres.
Church, Helena, Mont:
Ely's Cream Balm is the acknowledged
cure for catarrl and contains no mercury
nor any injurious drug. Price, SO cents.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
A Natural Rsa.ct,o.

He had been looking over the assort.
rment of collars that the clerk had mt
out for his inspection, and had been in
formed that they were all the latest
styles.
II wonder" he said at last, "where
the idea originated that We are de-
scended from giraffes or ostriches ?"--
Chicago Post.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
SeaaOnable Aid.

II would like to make your last hours
comfortable" remarked the humorous
Man to the Thanksgiving Turkey.
"What can do for your
''Thanks. awfully," answered the
Thanksgiving Turkey; "if you will fur
nish the chestnuts I'll do the rest"
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
comfort.ble bedroom Lounge.

Every bedroom should, if possible,
contain a couch, II it be only of wicker
and especially is one indispensable in
the room of guest, who frequently
longs for a short nap. but refrains
from taking one in the fear Of disturb
ing a beautifully made or decorated
bed. Guest furnishings, by the way,
should not be SO fine as to be overpow-
ering. II the room be small, and there
is no other place for a couch, it could
Z lie set at the foot of the bed, where. if
supplied with castors, 1t may easily be
moved when necessary. One suitable
for use in a bedroom may be contrivetl
with very little trouble.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Amateur Doctors.

Hobson-This cold of mine is causing
me frightful misery.
Dobson-Is tiso very bad?
HoDson-No, the cold itself don't
trouble me, but every idiot that hears
me cough wants to recommend cure
for it.-New York Advertiser.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
THANKLEss.

That man may last, but never lives,
Who much receives and nothing
gives;
Whom none can love, whom none can
thank.
Creations blot, creations blank.
Gibbons.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Wrong Again.

'He died of tobacco heart" said the
physician, when the post-mortem ex-
Animation had been concluded.
"Imposslble," replied the dead mans
chum. "He never smoked anything but
cigarettes."-New York World.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
-
In the SchoOlroom.

Teacher-What is your mothers
name?
Six-year-old-Mrs. Rogers.
Teacher-But what is her Christian
name-what does your father call her7
Six-year-old Tin a piping voice)-Dif'
fcrent things.-WashingtOn Times.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Inst Hit His Case

Employer am afraid have moth.
Ing In the way Of work to give you just
now. The times are hard and there Is
little to do.
Tramp-That's just the kind of work
l enjoy.-Yale Record.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28

Bingo--I think l will takc a trip to
Niagara next week. Every American
ought to see 1t.
Witherby-Haven't you been there?
Bingo-Yes, on my honeymoon
Puck.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
A Preliminary

Ardent Lover-Dr. Entomolog:st, l
wish to ask permission to marry your
daughter.
DR.. Entomologist-As soon as have
classified yOu.-Detroit Free Press.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Ea..perati.xlx 1ndennite,

''1f that fsn't aggravatingy
"What IL the matterY'
II just got letter from my brother,
IN which he says he is going to marry
q Blue Grass widow. don't know
whether he; 10 engaged to a Kentucky
woman or q freak." Cincinnati En-
sQuires. 80.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Two Afnicted Towns,

Two Afflicted Towns.
Neche, N. D., Nov. 22.-Typhoid fe-
yer, measles and scarlet fever are all
raging in Neche and Gretna. A few
persons have died Of typhoid. The
weather is extremely cold for the
season, being 80 below zero last night.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Ancient wit.

Jinks-Can you give an instance of
female wit mentioned in the Bible?
El.nks-Yes. Herodias. when she got
a head of John the Baptist.-Washing-
ton Times.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28

she-Did you go to hear Mrs. Borer
lecturer on pure food last night:
He-No; how was it?
She-Oh, she was full of her subject.
Washington Times.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
EIV'S Cream Balm g
In These Day. Of copyrirst

In These Days Of Copyright.
Excuse ME sir; must ask you for
your card or call a policeman"
Who the devil are you? What do
you mean by this intrusion:"
II was sitting at the next table and
heard You tell funny story to your
friends. Iwrote that story. aud it was
copyrighted in last weeks Death."-
New York World.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
One Too Many,

spinster-I'vc distributed number
of mittens this time.
He-You've distributed one too many.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
Coaching Accident.

Cleveland, Nov. GA serious acci-
dent occurred at the central armory
to-day and as a result Francis Under
hill Of New York was seriously In
jured. Messrs. d. r. Hanna, Mr.. I'm
derhill and a Mr.. Chamberlain and
others were practicing maneuvers
with a team of spirited horses at
tached to a four-in-hand coach. The
horses became frightened and sudden
ly plunged forward, overturning the
coach, throwing Mr.. Underhill to the
ground. While no bones were broken
he will De laid up for some time as
result of the shock and bruises sus-
tanned. Others in the coach sustained
no injuries
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
said to BE Conspiracy.


Denver, Nov. 20. - Indignation has
been aroused over the arrest Of An
drew J. spute, a grocer, on charge of
numbering his wife and five children,
all of whom We're drowned by the cap
sizing of a boat in Smiths lake Oct.
25. -Four eye-witnesses Of the drown
ing assert that it was psrely accident
al, and Spute's friends claim the in
rest is either subterfuge of the in
surance company to avoid payment Of
a $4,000 accident policy on the life Of
Mrs. Spute, or an attempt by a local
detective agency to blackmail the hus-
band. 1t is alleged that Sputc is the
victim of n conspiracy between his own
lawyer and the detective agency. Miss
Nellie Davis. Spute's alleged para.
mour, who was arrested with him, was
released on bonds.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
UNITED IN DEATH
MYSTERIOUS DOUBLE SUICIDE AT
VALLEY CITY, N
Az Unknown Man and Woman Are
Found Dead in Bed, Having TAX
en- Prusslc Acid-Thcy Leave a
| Note Stating That, Though sepa-
[ rated in Life, They We're One In
(; Death.

Valley City, N. D., Nov. % A man
and womaa registered Mt the Kindred
hotel here last night as Thomas Swens
and wife Of New Rockford. They
engaged a room and retired. AS they
were not seen to-day their room door
was opened this morning and on the
bed. in their travelling dress, locked in
each others arms, both lay dead. A
bottle of prussic acid stood by the
bed with a letter saying there was
money in their pockets to pay burial
expenses and that, though separated
in life, they were one in death, and to
make no inquiries as to who they
were. They appear to be about forty
years of age.
New Rockford, N. d., Nov. 22.-The
news of the elopement Of Mrs. A. g.
Swain of this place with one Frank
Addison of Baltimore, Md, which oc-
CURED yesterday, had been suppressed
on account of the high respect in
which the Swain family is held in this
community. The couple stopped Mt q
Valley City hotel, registering as man
and wife under all assumed name,
and were found dead in bed, having
suicided. The erring wife was about
forty years of age, the mother of four
children, one daughter Of eighteen.
The family was one Of the wealthiest
in the county. The man Addison was
forty years Of age, and worthless
character. The grief-stricken family
have sent for the remains Of tie wife
and mother and will give her Chris
tian burial. There is but one conclus.
Ion to be arrived at, and that is partial
arrangement on the part of Mrs.
Swain.
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28
1t wouldn,t Z FIT.

the bedstead died last February, and
Jack has the pleasure of visiting his
grave twice q week. He tells me that
even in very bad weather he cannot
The Dickinson press., 1896-11-28

Moreover, the uncle who gave them
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1896-03-11

One Of them, that OF a milkman. was
shot on his cart while filing milk
cans in front of his house and after,
wards pursued into the house and fin
ished. The II bodies were buried In
the cemetery at Guatao. Five addi-
tional bodies, identified by neighbors
as those of peaceable residents Guatao,
were found in field near Punta Bra
va and said to have been taken prison
ers at Guato and afterward killed by
the soldiers. Fifteen prisoners were
compelled to walk to Mariana, five
mles away and were so badly bruised
and cut from blows received on the
wav that they required me dical atten-
dance upon arrival Three physicians
from Punta Bravo and Mariana. who
are members of the Red Cross society,
went to Guatao to attend the wound
ed. They found the dead in the street,
but no wounded. Quintera, the
American prisoner, had his wound
dressed at Mariana. The arrival of
the troops with their prisoners late
Saturday night Marianao and the in
formation of what had occurred, ter
ri6ed the residents cf the delightful
suburban town so that many came to
Habana. One Of the volunteers, a
man named Ed wardo Sanchez store
keeper of Marianao, openly boasted
that he had gone into house and
killed man in a bed.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1896-03-11
Negro Fanatics.
ATLANTA, Ga, March 4.-Tae negr

ATLANTA, Ca, March 4.-Tae negro
Ascensionists who expect to be carried
up into Heaven on Friday morning
received a cablegram this morning
from a London newspaper informing
them that the date of the ascension
had been postponed for seven years
and seven months. The Ascension
lists are greatly excited and declare
that they will 60 up any way and that
no London authorities can defer the
trip. The idea of the Ascensionists is
that power which will come in a
whirlwind will lift them up into the
clouds, where they will reside for five
years, when they expect to return to
earth. In the meantime, however,
they say that the earth will be burned
over and only the righteous will re,
main. The band of Ascenslonlsts
number about 100 members here.
Their faith is strong. One Of them
left home yesterday morning, locking
her two children up in the house. She
was so carried away with religious
fervor that she forgot to return home
and tonight the police broke into the
house and found the children nearly
starved. The members of the band
are giving away or selling all their
possessions. Most of them give their
chattels to friends, believing that they
will have no further use for house
hold articles. The leader of the band
is an ignorant negro named John
Smith. He has been holding nightly
meetings in the southeastern part of
the CITY for two months The cable
gram was an advertisement for the
London paper.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1896-03-11
Killed by his PriSoner.

SPARTANBURG, March Another
bloody tragedy must be set down to
,he illicit sale of whiskey. Deputy j.
D. Kirby was killed early yesterday
morning by a prisoner captured for
making blockade whiskey. On their
way 10 this city on Wednesday after
uoon. Kirby, Miller, Brown and Kir-
by's two sons, Jim and Lloyd, all Uni
ted States marshals, left for raid IN
the uppe2, part Of this county. They
went to capture still operated by the
Dill broth ers. The raid took place
this morning, and Joe Dill and his
son John were arrested and 80 gallons
of whiskey captured. John Dill pro-
tested vigorously and he was over
powered and handcutfed. After
while he became quiet and the hand
cuffs were removed. The party start
ed for this place On their way they
stopped at Holly Springs to feed Jim
and Lloyd Kirby went to a nearby
mill pond to huh. ducks Deputy
Miller had gone ahead with the wa
gon load of liquor. John Kirby and
Brown were in charge of the prison
srs Kirby was in the act Of getting
into the wagon when John Dill picked
up the weapon and fired al Kirby.
The bullet went whislling into his
brain and the soul of Kirby took its
flight. Both Of the prisoners made
their escape.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1896-03-11
Fatal Fire in Utica.

UTICA, N. Y, March 3.-The Gen
nessee apartment house in this city
burned this morning. 1t was seven
stories high. The occupants number
ed 176, composing 60 families. The
losses of these sixty families amount
to over 100000. The building was
worth s12O, 1000 and was insured to the
amount of $4,000. and the property
of the tenants to the amount Of S45,-
000 -Four persons are known to have
lost their lives as the result of the fire
and it is feared that two other persons
and possible more, perished. The
names. Of the dead are: Mrs. Hugh
Hughes, 70 years of age, killed by
falling from the fourth story while
being lowered to the ground by rope.
Mrs. George Wood, forty-fve years Of
age, a niece OF the late Governor
Seymour and her daughter, Mary, ff:
teen years of age, and Noble Hopkins,
50 years of age. The bodies of the
three last named are in the ruins.