davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

cur the risk of overtaxing your mind in
trying TO recall our little talk
so sorry. But a fellow will FORGET
some things. Must do ii, you know, II
you're in the whirl. Can't you just give
me a hint?''
1t is Of no consequence at all, sir 1
only have vague recollection of The con-
Versation myself. But I'm not feeilnG
well, Mr.. Chumpley. and must ask you
10 excuse me for the evening.
Too badl And you look in brilliant
health. Only temporary indisposition, of
course. But I'll not detain you. I'm go
ing straight home and crdgel my brain
till l bring back that talk"
DO nothing of the kind. never want
10 hear of it again"
When he was gone she Acknowledged to
herself that there was much more 10 him
than she had suDected and that he had
decidedly given her the worst Of their
little Sparring match.
Chumpley walked down the street
chuckling and congratulating himself.
She always boosted gleefuily of the men
whom she had refused, but he had no
fear that she would add him 10 The list
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The buffalo bull that was killed on
Antelope island has become famous by
his death. Speaking of him editorially
the ogden Standard says: "One of
the buffaloes which William Glasmann
sold to John e. Dooly, was killed. on
Antelope island a few days ago and
the Salt Lake papers tell of desperate
fight two hunters had in thus ending
a wild buffalo. 1t shows how hard up
the papers are for news. They tell of
the buffalo being a vicious old bull
named Major Mckinley. This same
OLD bull was at one time the pet of
the editor of the Standard He was
born on the editors ranch at Lake
Point, Tooele county. in May, 1889, and
would, therefore, have been eight
years old next May. Probably the truth
of the killing is that there are too
many bulls in the herd and Buffalo
Dooly invited his friends to go out
and kill one, and failing to kill the
brute showed fight. Major Mckinley
was the king of the herd. He was
noble speciment of his race" This
may be considered as authoritative as
to the age of this now famous bull
The space devoted to him by the
papers of this city does not show how
hard up they are for news but rather
how hard up they are for buffalo meat.
which is becoming scarcer and scarcer.
The tender remembrance in which the
Standard holds Major Mckinley is
the only thing tender about him.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
Aaeiina Pntts:s Musical Nephew.

New York Times: The death of Nicola
Barilli. half-brother of Adelina Patti re-
duces the immediate family of the great
scngstress. It is believed. to a nephew
VINO lives in Atlanta, Ga This is Alferdo
Bar:lli, the musician and composer Mr..
Barilli is the author of a familiar and
popular cradle song, or lullaby, which is
said by critics to be of great beauty and
artistic excellence. Besides this berceuse
he has composed a number of pieces that
arc we'll known. He is a comparatively
young man, and has won considerable
success as a teacher and director of
music. Only last year he visited Nine
Patti in Craig-y-ness in Wales, and al
ways receives her when on her tours
through the southern states.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
q
Something TO Denend On.

Mr.. James Jones, Of the drug firm Of
Jones x Son, Cowden, Ill, in speaIIing
Of Dr. Kings New Discovery, says thai
last winter his wife was attacked with
la grippe. and her case grew so serious
that ply sicians al Cowden and Pana
could do nothing for her 1t seemed
TO develop into Hasty CONSUMPTION
Having DR.. Kings New Discovery in
store. and selling lots of it. he took a
bottle home. and to the surprise of all
she began to get better from the first
dose, ana half dozen dollar bottles cured
her sound and well. DIR. Kings New
Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and
Colds is guaranteed to do this good
work Try it. Free trial bottles at 2.
c. NJ. I. drug dept.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

THE HERALD IL n franchise menu
be- OF The United Press, and re-
csires The complete leased wire
Overland and Pacific Coast news re-
ports OF The United Associated Press
es, embracing accurate Intelligence
0f ali curreat eFents in s.ie whole
world. With its special wire and
operator in it's own Once TaE HER
AID is daily I'm Immediate posses
sion of the latest news Up 5iII the
hour Of ssOirE to press.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

He was no sooner seated in the cozy
parlor than she took the initiative says
the Detroit Free Press.
'-Slnce you proposed to me last week I
have given the matter a great deal of
thought. Mr.. Chumpley."
"Mr. Chumpiey? Why, you've called
me Berties for ages.
That's neither here nor there. I have
concluded that / must decline the great
honor you have proffered me-
''Ahi Certainly But you must pardon
me for not understanding just what you
refer to. | have so much to think of in a
social way, you know"
But you must recall the last CONVERSE
ton you had with me-
-Deuced stupid of me. Mamie. out il has
slipped my memory. Something about the
horse shown"
Never mind, Mr.. Chumpley. Don't in
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The Provo Utonian truly says: The
talk about the restoration of silver to
its place as a money metal by interna-
tional agreement. is about as sensible
as TO talk Of a robber and his victims
having a meetlpg for the purpose OF
dividing the property taken by the
robber. and expecting that the robber
would voluntarily attend and freely
agree to disgorge the fruits of his rob
berries"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
oo>ooo~oco>oco>o
/? THE ART EXHIBIT


That the exhibition viii prove proflt-
able to the artists as we'll as pleasure
able and profitable to its patrons is
hoped and confidently anticipated by
ali The artists are deserving not only
CT praise, but Of patronage. Nature is
nowhere. more beautiful than she is in
Utah and there are no artists more
thoroughly capable of reproducing her
lovelineSs than those who, since in
fancy, h2ve studied and admired her
various moods. And when native gen
ius has been polished and perfected
by months % foreign travel. surely
that genius is worthy of not only the
highest recognition, but the most lib
eral patronage from all lovers of the
beautiful.
Two paintings have already been
sold-one a esuit study, Peaches"
by Harwood, a charmingly natural sub
ject which has already attracted much
attention; and the other. dainty
flower sketch, Apple Blossoms from
Evans magic brush.
Much admiration has been expressed
for the exquisite floral water colors
which are characterisuically inscribed
Marie Gorlinski Hughes She pos
sesses an individual touch and an
original manner OF dealing with her
subjects which compels the warmest
eulOgies.
The artists are arranging for a So
ciety event in the way of a reception
next week. Full particulars will be
given later-but a musical programme
will be rendered and they are endeav-
orinS 70 make the affair an elaborate
one.
1t is not generally known that Mr..
Hafen's painting of the Fisherman
Home, Lake Constance" is the scene
Of his birth, but such is the case.
Owing to the courtesy of Mr.. Dolly,
who, with the generosity of an enter
prising citizen. realized the true worth
of the exhibition and determined that
the educational leaders of Salt Lake
should not miss seeing ii, the school
teachers win be provided with tickets
of admission while at their monthly
meeting TODAY. Mr.. Dooly's kindness
will, no doubt. be fully appreciated
Mr.. Roberts dropped in and took a
look at himself yesterday. The excel
lence of Mr.. Hafens work was never
more apparent than when compared
with the original.
Some or the work entered DY pupils
is worthy of special mention. 1t reflects
great credit on the teachers. and a
few clever drawings and paintings viii
be reviewed later.
Miss Louise Richards makes her first
exhibit in tasteful sketch of 'Chry
santhemums."
Mr.. Harwood's little water color
Preparation for Dinner" is a copy of
his Salon picture which received a
gold medal.
Among the visitors noticed ct the ex-
hibition were Mrs. Kenneth Kerr, Mrs.
Mary Judge and Misses Kate and Ag-
mes Judge, Mrs. Frank Knox, Mrs.
VIII Clawson. Mr.. and Mrs. Clerburne
of Omaha, Mr.. Dolly and Mr.. Roberts.
CT n 4 or
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The Boston Herald says that the
Massachusetts Reform club, which
lately refused to cheer for William Nc
Kinley. has again cheered Grover
Cleveland. Its sentiments very much
resemble those of certain people de-
scribed by Dean Swift, who would not
look at the new moon out of reverence
for that ancient institution. the old
one. A reform club is usually the
crankiest thing going.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The New York Journal. commenting
on the treaty for the arbitration OF the
Venezuelan boundary dispute, says:
The Venezuelans themselves are OPP
posed 10 its ratification without ma
terial amendment, and 1t is not IN
conceivable that the whole discussion
may return to the point it stood in
when MIR. Olnev remarked to John
Bull: THE United States are supreme
on the American continent and their
fiat is law
Wrong. What Mr.. Olney said was
practically sovereign on this continent,
and its fat is law upon the subjects
to which it confines its interposition."
Please note the use of lis" and lit
in connection with United States"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

AS an emergency medicine. Ayers
Cherry Pectoral takes the lead of all
other remedies. For the relief and cure
of Group, whooping cough, sore throat,
and the dangerous pulmonary troub-
les to which the young are so liable, it
is invaluable, being prompt to act, sure
to cure
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
Bucklen.. Arnica salxe.

The besl salve n the world for cute.
sores. IeLter. chapped hands. chilblains.
bruises, sores, ulcers. salt rheum. fever
corns and all ssin eruptions, and posi-
tive.y cures pies or no pay required
Il Is guaranteed TO give perfect saJisfac-
ton or money refunded. Price % cents
per box. Fol sale tS Z. c. NJ :. drug
dent
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

An enterprising firm in a Sanpete
town advertises "six-foot collins COM
plete with outside box from SLIGO and
up, and six foot caskets from S12.5O
and up" This price of itself robs
death of much of its terrors and almost
induces one 70 die.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The board Of pardons has refused
rehearing 10 Coughlin's petition There
would be nothing new to present that
the board has not heard before. When
on the 18th instant he pays the penalty
for his crime the state viii be so much
the better off.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Charles J. Ben has been appointed
chairman Of the inaugural committee.
he VIII be as q Bell wether to the
lambs who VIII go TO Washington
March 4 and get heeced.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Today Henry c. Payne will sever
his connection with the Milwaukee
Electric Railway and Light company
as vice president Does this presage
that he is to be a great light in Wash
ington2
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The war department has adopted
new emergency ration. One was
adopted some years ago and tried on
the soldier boys at Fort Logan. And
everyone who tried it forthwith
had an emergency and was compelled
70 cali the doctor in.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The president has gone off on duck
hunt. He did the same thing about
this time last year and knocked down
the Venezuelan message. 1t is not
impossible that he will knock down a
Cuban message on this trip.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The St. Louis Globe Democrat speaks
of the mobbing and driving out from
Florida Of Mormon missionaries as de
porting Mormon Elders" This is let
ting the mobbers down easy, not the
missionaries.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

All the way through his message the
president speaks OF The United States
in the singular. The United States
is" doesn't sound just right to Demo-
cratic ears"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

People seem more anxious to know
wha. Hanna is doing and saying than
what Major Mckinley is doing and
saying And all the while Mark just
smiles and says nit.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
Fine Graae of EIcctric senI

Fur Capes, plain or with full Marten
Collar and edging down front, just in
at $40 to $3.50, worth double.
f. AUERBACH & BRO. ,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Present indications are that congress
will do those things that it ought not
TO 90 and that it will leave undone
those things that ought to be done.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

IF the cucl1oos and the jingoes were
eliminated from congi ess, that body
might be able to attend to the busi-
ness which it is convened to consider
says the Milwaukee Sentinel That is
an Utopian hope impossible of realiza-
zion
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
Notice to the Holders of Count,
Warrants.

All county warrants registered prior
TO Dec. q. 1894. under registered No.
15,921. except registered numbers 11.45O
12,401. 1880. 1871, 1892 15.429. 15.4S0
and 15.431, are now payable.
w. p. LYNN, County Treasurer
Salt Lake, Dec. 10, 1886.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The Chicago Dispatch says that an
ex-aiderman of that city is under ar
rest and asks if he is a thief. What
a question. What a question!
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

General Weyler IS the first warrior
10 utilize the power of the press as
an engine of war. His reporters corps
is the most valuable one in his army.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The fact that Senator Dubois has re-
signed his positions on various Re
publican committees shows that he is
anything but reconciied.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Corbett is very anxious to meet Fitz-
simmons. When it comes to blows the
public will place its money on Corbett
every time.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The United States is not a nation
to which peace is Il necessity" says
Mr.. Cleveland. Neither is MIR. Cleve-
land.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Family skeletons should never be
dragged into court. but should be
brought in Z sack, so that no part
shall be lost.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Illinois proposes to have a member
in the cabinet, Hit or miss.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Comptroller Eckels urges that the
greenbacks be re ed. In just little
while he will be retired without any
1lrrinR.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

When that European concert on the
eastern question comes in to full blast
look out for discords.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Everybody seems to think Chat
everything is in a deplorable state in
Kansas
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

The greatest glove contest in years.
Bob Thompson against 'Frenchy" Os-
borne. 126-pound champion of the
world. Lyceum theater tonight; soc
and 81
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

There is far more talk about Senator
Hills successor than about his sue
cess.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Chicago Chronicle: The announcement
u see what he can do with his feet in
weeks tournament in New York this
month recalls the feats of himself and
Dan O'Leary many years ago. Weston
afterward tramped over England in the
interest of temperance, and his walk in
Nav York Will also be, he says, 10 show
the beauties Of total abstinence. Yves
tons great feat in walking from New
as speed is concerned, many times since.
The Introduction of the bicycle has taken
much interest out of walking matches.
and It is hardly probable that the veteran
attention.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

More revenue and less talk is what
the country would like from congress.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

If Mrs. Lease had stayed at home
she would not have lost her home.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

A good story comes from Washing
ton about Congressman John Allen of
Tupelo, Miss. He is growing beard,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
The Whole Story

Of the great sales attained and great
cures accomplished by Hoods Sarsa-
parilla is quickly told. 1t purifies and
enriches the blood, tones the stomach
and gives strength and vigor. Dis
ease cannot enter the system fortified
by the rich, red blood which comes by
taking Hoods Sarsaparilla.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
800
Our
Holiday
CI Col,

Commences this Saturday morning.
Great offers in all kinds of
Footwear.
SPENCER & LYNCH Co., 124 Main.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

CoUrier-Journal: The last annual mes
sage Of President Cleveland TO congress
IS. in great degree, comparatively IN
of the various departmental reports re-
garding statistical and other matters OF
routine
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
Wrinkles: Young Poet Ito friend)-We

Wrinkles: Young Poet Ito friend)-Well,
Charley. I've sworn off
Friend (enthusias1ically)-Pm heartily
glad of it. old boy; and all your friends
will feel the same Let's go and have
drink.
Young Poet-D:dn't 1 just tell you I
had sworn off drinking?
Friend (disappointed)-You didn't say
you had sworn off drinking. I supposed
you had sworn off writing poetry. Good
bYe.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Kansas City Times: The presidents
remarks concerning the Wilson tariff
were eminently true. That act has been
in force only a little over two years, dur
ing which favorable conditions for judg-
ing it have not prevailed, yet its virtues
have justified it at least as a successor
TO the Mckinley act
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
WIT AND HUMo,a.

Philadelphia North American: Judge
Why did you strike this nan2
Prisoner-Your honor. ne asked me
what I thought congress would do with
the Dinghy fill.
Judge-Discharg ed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
our
Holiday
Shoe Sola

Commences this Saturday morning
Great offers in all kinds of
Footwear.
SPENCER & LYNCH Co., 124 Main.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Mr. Harwood's little water color
Preparation for Dinner" is a copy OF
his Salon picture which received a
gold medal
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

San Francisco Call: The Chronicle
asks. Wouldn't it be a good thing if
congress could limit the length of the
presidents message?" Il certainly would
and it would also be a good thing if con
gross could limit the length OF its own
tax
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

Pi5tsburg Pos: The coal trust of which
Vice-President-elect Hobart IS one of the
ruling officials, is now shipping American
coal 10 Hamburg and selling it at so cents
ten less than it IS sold for in New
York And of course a tariff on coal is
necessity.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Chicago Record: ITO secure brevity
and avoid tiresone narration / shall
ont many details" said Mr.. Cleveland
a the beginning of his interesting mes
see of 1900 words or so
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Some Of the work entered by pupils
is worthy of special mention. 1t reflects
great credit on the teachers. and a
few clever drawings and paintings will
be reviewed later.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Hoods Pills cure nausea, sick head
ache. indigestion, biliousness. All drug
gists. 25c.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Spare Moments: One Sunday morning
a man from g Lancashire village called
at country hotel for some refreshments.
''Are you a bona fide traveller inquired
the landlord.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Judge: Hojack-Have you heard Tren-
chant PENIS plan for getting that weird
spelling he uses in his dialect stories?
Tomadik-No; what is it?
Hojack-He dictates his stories to mis-
9-year-old daughter, who ticks them off
on the typewriter.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

OF the Administrators Great Unload
ing Sale" Call today and secure what
you want before the sale ends tonight
F AIIERBACH & RRO.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Among the visitors noticed ct the ex-
hibition were Mrs. Kenneth Kerr, Mrs.
Mary Judge and Misses Kate and Ag-
mes Judge. Mrs. Frank Knox. Mrs.
VIII Clawson, Mr.. and Mrs. Clerburne
of Omaha, Mr.. Dolly and Mr.. Roberts.
Fl STE, REACONER
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

= . ,

Miss Louise Richards makes her fir:
exhibit in tasteful sketch of "ChrS
santhemums"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Chicago Tribune: I'm afraid said the
pugilisr, in alarm. I'm gittin' what
they call the clergyman's sore throat"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-12-12

Philadelphia North American: Judge
Why did you strike this man?
Prisoner-Your honor. ne asked me
what I thought congress would do with
the Dinghy till.
Judge-Discharged
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune: Had
the grip again? Too bad-awful. ism t
it? The worst part is the way the thing
leaves YOU.
1T is. The last attack had left me
nearly a beggar."
Spare Moments: One Sunday morning
a man from g Lancashire village called
at 2 country hotel for some refreshments.
Are you bona fide traveller inquired
the landlord.
NO. I'm a collier replied the man.
Chicago Tribune: I'm afraid" said the
they call the clergyman's sore throat
Puck: do you think much of him?'
Yes; he owes me ".
New York Advertiser: Jinks-There is
a man who has a number of movements
on foot for making money.
Blinks-Who is he?
a dancing teacher.
Philadelphia Record Now that the
football season is ended the players might
ht6p III lldllt-liS ny dS,lctlAAS lAlt4A A4eA-A4-
mas and sisters to shop.
Puck: Poet-That poem has come back
again. I'm not surprised this time,
though.
Friend-Why?
Poet-It was the thirteenth time I sent
it out.
Harpers Bazar: Would-be- Contributor
Here's a good joke on the Fifth avenue
stages.
Editor Geading iO-Thats old
Contributor-Humph What
do you expect? So are the stages.
Atlanta Constitution: 'Hark!' cried the
long-haired magazine poet, how the peo-
pie cheer mellow they recognize genius"
You're mistaken whispered his wife.
''They think you are a football player"
Spare Moments: Poet-Why did you
change the title of my contribution to
'Pansies: a Poem?' I had it just
'Pansies.'
Editor-Didn't want to deceive the pub
lie. Readers have a right TO know what
it is they are reading.
Judge: Hojack-Have you heard Tren-
chant PENIS plan for getting that weird