Birmingham state herald., 1896-03-01
THE ALABAMA HOG.

feature of Alabama that consistently refuses to be ignored is the source and inspiration of her ham. The Alabama hog is the personification of solid enjoy ment. Content seems to be his birth right. If greatness is solitary he is great, for he forages alone. His individuality is paramount. He lives, moves and has his being wholly within himself. The outlaw of the highway, he will turn neither to the right nor left, not even for a bicycle. He is the best possible ex- ample of the road hog.
 He is not alone selfsh-he is sc,ubby, scrawny, sensual scapegrace and glut- ton Eating is his sole occupation and he does this to no purpose. He never ac- cumulates fat-nothing but mud.
 He perambulates wheresoever he list eth. His light is never hidden under a bushel, on the contrary he is everywhere in evidence when his testimony is not re- quired. He ascends unto the high moun- tain and he regales himself in the green valleys. He tolls not, neither does he spin; and yet Solomon, with his thousand wives, was not half such a hog as he. He traces his lineage to theF. F. B. S. the First Families of the Earthdat ting his origin from somewhere between the Laurentian and the bond sale periods. The responsibility for his existence lies somewhere in the dim and shadowy vstas of the sainted past. We read in history where Diana got on her high horse and thirsted all over the Roman Campagna for his gore. The Greek Ar tennis tore her abbreviated dress hunting for him with a poisoned spa r among the thorns and briars of the Metropolis. There is no doubt but that they both found him at best an awful boar.
 Adonis is said to have given Venus the marble heart because of his infatuation for chasing the progenitor of the Ala bama hog. He is said to have refused the opportunities of a lifetime for the glory of conQuering boars. Soon after he left Venus languishlng in disappointment 1t was found that he really was stuck on the worries of the brute. To judge from the appearance of the Alabama hog I can see that it must have been pleasure to exterminate his race, but, after all. Adonis was a fool Venus, as she is painted, is much to be preferred to the great. great grand=dad of the Alabama hog.
 Although the nineteenth century hog in Alabama shows deterioration in stature, his disposition remains the same. He is still hog. That he is cratic is evidenced by the fact that he is always in the wrong place.~ He is a creature of uncertain age, and sadly in need of the adipose of the Berkshire, the astuteness of the Jersey and the amiability of the Poland China He is more inquisitive than next door neighbor and manages to stick his nose into everybodyS bus1- ness quite as successfully. His acquisi- tiveness is abnormal and has no parallel in history aside from England. He gath CTS in everything in sight and then some. If he does not find enough above the earth he roots below. If there is not sufficient provender in the highway he leaps the fence for greener pastures.
 There is no authentic case of one of the williams ever surrendering to foe not even to death. He can whip the devil on his own ground in any size ring, by kany known rules, Marquis of Queens bury preferred, and he can outrun any creature with legs and give it the choice of track. He is invulnerable to persua- sion insensible to force, too mean to live and yet he is too contrary to oblige the next generation by shuffiing off in this
 Missouri has the "yaller dog"
 That most repulsive brute,
 But Alabama has the hog
 That has the longest snoot;-
 His bristles all are firmly set
 And sharper than brad,
 He always has his back up, yet
 He isn't always mad. A menace to the common veal,
 He's never sick day,
 Was never known to miss a meal
 And never known to pay;
 A most consumptive looking brute,
 He has the leanest meat,
 And as he has the longest shoot
 He has the most to eat.
 He's often pestered by the dog,
 But he don't care d-.
 He's independent as hog
 And happy as a clam;
 If devils ever entered swine
 There is a score at least
 Of naughty demons who combine
 In this internal beast.
 Altbouph we need better breed
 Way down in. Alabam; m
 We have at least the very beast
 For making .'Deviled Ham,
 G. F. ,RINEHART. An orchard cannot always be kept un- do,. tta nlo,u The hefter nlan Is to aoaa