Eagle River Democrat. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1893-1896, 1896-02-10

venience of the nerve-weary bread win
ner of the family.-Haryot Holt CahOon,
New York Recorder.
ACCESSIBILITY of Being Swell.
A club woman, a genuine, unOstenta-
tious, practical woman, who believes in
the sisterhood of women, asked me yes
terday if [ could tell her what she must
do to be considered swell. She said
her daughter liked to be regarded as
swell, and sometimes reprOached her for
not paying sufficient attention to that de-
sirable condition. l detected shade of
satire and mock seriousness in her voice,
and [ judged it to be a result of taking
a too earnest view of the realities of
life and thinking lightly Of the modish
amenities.
"Swell'' is a word whose meaning is
so well-known that no reference to the
dictionaries is necessary. When a per-
son, place or thing is characterized by
the quality called swell, | daresay it
means that it is absolute, that it repre-
sentS a standard worthy of emulat ton,
that it is at the top of the present mode,
that Dame Fashion has stamped it with
her approval, and tat only those per-
sons who do not keep up with the pro-
ceSSiOn are ignorant of it's value. If
YOU are SO interested in your own pur-
suits that you allow yourself to become
absorbed and thus unconscious of the
gressive, cultured, earnest and sympa-
thetic, then you are like the woman who
inquired satirically of me about the
meaning of the word swell; in this case
you help to esta blish the pure American
type of woman whose individuality is
the very keynote of American advance
ment.
In looking about for object illustra-
lions that might properly suggest the
true significance of the word swell, [
find that there is a vast amount of SUI
perfciality represented by it. My neigh
Dor whose lawn adjoins my own is con-
sidered very swell. She has carriage
company, and vast amount of the suits
and trappings that indicate wealth, cult
ure and social position. Her window
draperies are real lace, with monogram
wrought in them. and she has cut glass
on her table. She gives breakfasts,
luncheons and dinners daily to the mem
bers Of her family. and they appreciate
the value of these domestic functions.
The dinner is served to each individual
on one large plate, the celery lies pros
trate, there is no caster on the table, nor
any butter, and she serves the proper
vegetable at the proper moment. [ have
observed all these things with some in
terest, because | have been told she is
very swell But 1 have also observed
that her children gather in the early
morning on the back doorstep of a next
door neighbor who is not swell, and that
they are ready to come IN for a morning
visit when the door is opened They
like to peer into the oven when defect
able apple turnovers are cooking and al
though those turnOYerS are not "SWell"
they are devoured with avidity as soon
as they are cool. 1t is also my privilege
to mention cOnfidentially that those same
children are on intimate termS-rapa-
cious, voracious terms, with certain,
hght-brown, fried-cake man who materi-
Allies at the hands of an appreciative
cook every Saturday morning The
fried-cake man does not belong to swell.
dom, although he is. manifeStly swollen
to bursting.
If the word swell were cast in metal
it would not ring. 1t has a metallic
sound without vibration. It lacks SYM
pathy and sentiment.
The Smiths are very swell I gather
this from my butcher and grocer and
green grocer, who have the distinction of
possessing the Smiths as patrons. There
is a futter in the village this week be-
cause the Smiths are expected home.
The grocer says he will keep cream cheese
in stock as soon as the Smiths come
home, because the Smiths always de-
mand it. The green grocer says he has
a fine stock of fruit this week because
the Smiths are expected home. He also
has brussels sprouts, because the Smiths
order them frequently. The milkman
offers me a better quality of cream than
formerly, because" he says, the
Smiths are likely to arrive any day."
and he has it on hand for them. The
butcher smiles widely and asks me it \
would like to order sweetbreads. Then
he adds: ''The Smiths are coming home
| always keep sweetbreads for the
Smiths" In the meantime my cook
has gone away. The butcher secured her
for the Smiths; and my laundress tells
me she will come to me on Wednesdays,
because she has to give the best days
Of the week to the Smiths. The kinder
garten in the next block will open Mon
day OH account of the Smiths, and at the
rate of speed at which the revolution is
unfolding, we soon shall have on tap an
improved condition of sunshine, moon
light, atmosphere and things generally.
Ny delineation of the character of the
word ''swell'' is very meager, but shall
know better and more about it as soon
rs the Smiths get home. for | am sure
they are 'swell. "-Haryot Holt Cahoon
in New York Recorder