Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1896-06-19
. A REGULAR BAND WAGON. \
The Retired Burglar and His Tale Of m
Eccentric Chair. 1s#.EssE

s@oAsS
Eccentric Chair. q n a.sa
II once had very singular experience
In fine house in o small city In. the
west" said the retired burglar. 's They
had their silver locked up, but found on
a table in the parlor q lot of bric-a- brac,
mostly silver things, that was we'll worth
carrying off. There was a curious looking
thermometer that caught my eye In partic-
ular, and, contrary to my usual custom,
stopped to take look at 1t before putting
it in my bag, and then it occurred to me
that I'd like to sec how warm 1t was--it
was very close in the room with the win
dows ell shut--and I took a look at the
mercury, holding it down in the light of
my lamp on the tabla, standing up my
self, but couldn't see it very plain stand
ing up, SO sat down in a chair that was
right there by the table to get q closer look.
1.-THE minute sat down the chair began
to play q tune. 1t had q music box pr
rams cement attached to it, just like many
other articles Of n furniture II are N made.
Some OF 'eni when you pull out a dra wen q
music box begins to play, and all thits Sort
of thing. and this was a musical CHAIR
got right up, but the chair kept right5on
playing. These things are apt to have q
key, you know, or q stopper OF some sort
about 'em somewhere that you press to
stop 'em. felt for that key, but Icouldn't
find it, and got my larhpand looked for
it, tho music keeping right on playing all
the time, but couldn't find it and the
first thing knewit broke out louder than
ever It had come to some sort Of a bell
attachment that it had and was making
twice as much noise as it did at first, and
\ Si,I Il }v,p ho<s "a
thermometer which I wished I'd never
seen at all and which I'd dropped In the
bag when the first surprise struck mo- E5
II took another quick look over the
chair with the lamp, but couldn't find
the key, and Of course there WASH any
thing for me to do but go away, which /
did. The last heard Of the chair as l
went through the cellar window, it had
busted out in some new direction and was
booming away like a brass band. New
York Sun. 95 ,i5$
Give the American Cow q Chance.
For months bill known as the filed
cheese bill has been before congress. 1t
prohibits the manufacture and selling
Of cheese that is made BY curding blue
skimmilk and then mixing cottonseed
oil, lard and the Lord knows what else
with it, and putting it On the market as
prime whole milk or cream cheese. Mr..
Dolliver Of Iowa favored the law and
made a speech with a ring and q
rhythm to it that will find an echo in
the heart Of all the rural population Of
this country.
Following lis an extract from Mr..
Delivers speech:
say give the American cowia fair chance.
She has been the faithful servant Of man. She
landed with our ancestors, and. tied behind
the old weather beaten emigrant wagon, she
has marched with the household goods of the
pioneers who have taken possession of this
country from ocean to ocean. Sire has increas-
ed and multiplied and replenished the earth,
until today the industries which she has made
possible contribute annually to the wealth OF
the world more money than the great COM
binations Of modern capital more than isoil
and steel, more than lumber and coal, more
than cotton and wheat. more than all The
looms of New England, more than all the 1r,Ss-
terious riches Of gold and silver Yet thsre
are men il, this house whom I have heard to-
day sneering at this bill Whs spend most OF
their time trying to get protection for some
insignificant local enterprise or talking
through their hats" in the silver debate. I lay
give the American COW a fair chance
For myself, i am in favor of her monopolY--
| a monopoly that God gave her in the prodac-.
tion Of butter and cheese. That is one monSp-
oily that am in favor of. And If every nssn
in this house who in the days Of his boyhdpd
got up at daylight to feed the cows and stsid
| up after dark in order to milk them; if esdry
man who has churned actual cream with re-
{. - -.
boys enthusiasm the old fashioned process OF
making cheese in tho days Of its honor and re-s
pute will stand by this bill, we will drive from
the American barnyard the horde of counter
letters and cheatss at common law and keep
!, them out "tin the cows come home. -
! Blushed Like = Lobster.
Gussie- Look at Mary Mashem blush
! ing. bot her neither is giving her fits for
flirting, with young POorIeiph 81 Es&s