The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-08
ABE CROFOOT'S IDEA.
He Tells Colonel Dawson of His rIule
Invention.
4 GREAT SAVER OF BOTH TIME AND

ty courthouse and was about to enter
the building when Abe Crofoot turned
the corner and fastened up to him with
'tWaal, do declar', if this hain't
Kurnel Dawson Howdy, kurnel? jest
reckoned yo' wasn't comm to town agin
this var
"Howdy. Abe?' repeated the colonel
as they shook hands GIVE bin drefful
busy out on the plantation, you know,
and I'm in a powerful hurry this mawn.
in
eyes, yo' ar busy man, Kurnel
Dawson, and I'm not the one to take uL
yo'r time. How's con today, kurnel?"
''Jest fairish, Abe-jest fairish. -
"And mew1s?"
''Mewls ar sorter stiddy. Ihev to &C
into the cotehouse now, but I'll be in
agin this week and hev mo- time. Day
to 20, Abe
"Jest mint, kurne1,' said Abe as
he followed him up. ''These yere Pike
county scandalizers hev throwed M
down agin. -
! "Hev, Ell? Waal, I'll hear about il
next week. I'm in powerful hurry jest
now
! eyes, I know. Yo' ar in SIGH q pow
erful hurry that yo' can't stop to say an
encouragin word to a young man who's
about ready to gin up the fight and take
a dose of cold pizen. All right, kurnel
Don It let me detain yo'. When yo' come
to look on my cold, dead face, yo'
may
"See yere, Abe,'' said the colonel as
he turned about, "I'm in a powerful
hurry, but I'll SPAR yo' few minits.
I never went back on friend yit, spe-
cially if that friend was in trouble.
What's the matter this timer
''Now that's speakin like Kurnel
Dawson hisseIf,'' exclaimed Abe as he
reached out his hand. &c Bout mint
thought yo' war gwine dead back on
me, but I wronged yo'. Yes, kurnel,
these pestiferous scandalizers hev dun
bin arter me agin. They Topped me
down so hard that it was two days befo'
I could draw long BREATH
"Shoo! Shoot How was it, Abe?"
"I got up last Monday mawnin
thinkin to put on a clean shirt. Hunted
high and low and then remembered
that my only clean shirt was away in
the wash. Sent a boy down to Mary
Green s fur it, and what sort of an an
swer d'yo' reckon she sent back?"
i "Yo' owed her bill, reckon
eyes. I owed her IL cents, and the
answer came back that she'd hold on to
my clean shirt till the bill was paid.
Think of that, Kurnel Dawson Did yo'
ever b FAR of the likes sence the day yo'
was bo'n?"
g but of co'se yo' sent her the II
cents?''
''No, sab no, sab. Couldn't do it arter
that insult as a matter of honah and
principle. I saw, too, right from the
start that it wasn't the woman who was
THROWN me down, but these yere scan
dalizers who hev determined to drive
me out of Pike county. I thought I'd
beat 'em by gittin a writ of replevin,
but when I went to Squar Jackson fur
it what d'yo reckon he said? Kurnel
Dawson, look me in the eye and tell me
what yo' reckon he flung at me!''
'Shool Didn' hurt yo'r feelin's by
sayin you'd better pay them II cents,
did hep"
'Wuss'n that, kurnel-fur wussI He
not only refused me the writ, but said
that if I had drank less whisky, done
less Within on pine shingles and had
the ambition of a toad might hev now
bin standin in the shoes of Caesar Ba-
ronius. Kurnel Dawson, do yo' know
who Caesar Baron1us waS!'
Cant say as I ever met him, Abe,
though I'm a pore hand at rememberin
names.
"Yo' never met him, of c'ose, and
thar's a good reason fur it. Caesar Ba-
ronius was BON in Naples on the 30th
of October, 1888, and died the 30th Of
May, 1907. Yo' couldn't very we'll meet
up with a man who had been dead over
200 vars, could yo'?"
''Skassly, Abe-skassly. When yo'
fust spoke the name, didn't know but
he might hev lived around yere. So he's
dead, chr"
dead as a barn doah, kurnel-dead
befo' a single tree had bin cut down in
this yere county of Pikei That was the
man Squar' jackson throwed up to me
"a man who was bon, buried and turn
ed to dust befo' my grandfather could
walk alonel Whar' was my chance. kur-
mel? Did hive in Naples in the var
15O0?''
Reckon not, Abe"
'"This Caesar Baronius was a historian
and strong writer. and he made big
name fur himself He had the show to
do it. IF I'd bin Twin thar and then it
might hev bin neck and neck between
US. but he had the bulge on me by over
800 y 'ars. Kin beat 800 y 'ars, KurneI
Dawson?"
Reckon not. -
s'Then yo' see the injustice of it.
Wanted to down me so bad that they
had to go back 800 vars fur an excuse.
bod rot 'em, kurne1, but they won't gin
me no showI They've sot out to drive
me outer Pike county, and they won't
tn ont T10nl
"But yo' won't let 'em, Abe?" que
ried the colonel as his face betrayed the
sympathy in his soul.
"No-never Kurnel Dawson, hev
Pike county right by the two ears and
-. LII. Les. lorr,rn on, the urOr1rnd I'll