Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-12-10
The JOKERS BUDGET.
TESTS AND YARNS or THE FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
A Jswei..-A Wicked Joke---chiropody IN
FarmIng--.T Cheerful ldiot.-.A Wore
Painter, Etc., Etc.

DIAGNOSE
His countenance Is pensive.
His look is far away.
And can It be, you ask. that he
Is wilful Cupid's prey2
Nay, tits not love that fre,s him,
IT'S something worse, alack.
He drops his jaw and signs because
His liver's out OF whack.
A GOOD MARKET.
"Why is so much poetry written on,
autumn"
''Well, nearly everythings red then"
IN THE FOOTBALL SEASON.
Small boy to bothersome young sister
Say, Alice, you would make good foot
ball player.
Alce-Why9
Alce's Brother -Oh, you intofere SO
nicely.
Husband and Ihave never auarreled,n
declared Mrs. Holly.
What perfectly angelic disposition
he must have" purred her dearest
friend -
"Then they didn't start on the honey
moon that night"
'No. 1t was after 3 o'clock, and they
had to wait until the next day to get her
fathers check clshed."
NEVER GET PUYorURED.
EYES," said one Of the tramps to the,
farmer. dusty an me just came in on.
our wheels"
"What kind of wheels do you use?"
Gar wheels"
TWO EXAMPLES.
Walter-Papa, why is it better to give
than receive; to give what, for example?
Papa-Well, advice aud '.medicine'
i think would come under that head, my
son.
KEEPS HIM GOING.
Soxey-For a man who burns the
candle at both ends Softroks manages to.
keep his health.
Knoxey-Oh, he finds time for lots of
exercise.
Soxey-I did not know he was an ath-
Knoxey-Yes, every day he's running
into debt.
A WICKED JOKE.
Checks-They say the Esquimaux arc
an unenightened people.
Drafts-Funny, and yet they live on
candles and lamp oil.
POOR TRAvER3.
Skies: All. there's Miss Van Wyck.
She's off to Europe tomorrow.
Dolph: And there's Travers after her.
How about their engagement?
Skies That's off, too.
onIRoPoDY IN FARMING.
Drollman- Already in my limited ex-
rerience in cultivating the soil find that.
there are many sciences blended in that
of farming. To. day, for instance, had
occasion to practice chirop ,dy.
Sobery-Indee /. How was that?
Drollman-Why, cut the corn on the
foot of the hill.
HAD BEEN A VICTIM HIMSELF.
Winks-Do you believe in hypnotism?
Binks--Of course l do. Don't you see
this necktie thai the clerk inluced my
wife to buy the other day.
THE CHEERFUL IDIOT.
''Do you believe there is half the mys-
terry in these secret orders that they pre-
tend tor" asked the skeptical boarder.
There is in an order of hash," said
the Cheerful Idiot.
Mr.. Figg-Pve called to get something
done for my boy Tommy Perhaps you
can prescribe without going to the house.
DR.. Bowless What are the symptoms
how is his appetite?
MIR. Figg-That is just what | called to
see you about. He has got so for the
last two or three days that he doesn't
care t. eat more than twice as much as
do.
A MATTER OF TASTE
Customer are using different
KIM of soap from what you were, aren't
you?
Barber-What makes you think so?
ut doesn't taste the same"
WORD PAINTER.
He: The architecture of Europe would
interest me most.
She Dakota belle, expatiating on her
travels): Yes, everything is so quaint
lie: How did the Cathedral OF Cologne
impress you?
She: On, of course, that was too sweet
for anything.
THE AVERAGE COLLEGE YELL.
"You look so pleased; where have you
been?"
1--we been visiting dentists offices, and
had a lovely me-got a lot of new ideas
for our college YELL"
MADE THE WORST NOISE
SLOW did the joint debate come out
last night ~
swell, think we rather got the best
OF it. While it is true that the other
fellows had horse fiddle and bass
drum, our crowd had nearly two tin
horns TO their one"
NOT TO BE ovERREAcHED.
'You want as much for this thermom-
eter," said the woman who had arrived
before the store opened 50 as to be the
first at the bargain counter, las you did
for those you showed me last August"
..Of course" the salesman answered.
sits the same thermometer"
mo, it isn't There ought to be re-
duction in the price. Those others had
nearly twice as much mercury in them as
these have"
Cold Weather Cycling Dangers,
A warning to cyclists. in the form of