davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

Spain is having her hands full with
her colonies, exclaims the New York
Independent. In addition to the war
in Cuba there is considerable disturb.
ance.in Puerto Rica, but more serious
still is the revolt in the Philippine
Islands. For years these have been
source of much revenue to the home
Government and very little expense.
The exports of tobacco and hemp, as
we'll as of coffee, cotton etc., have
been very heavy, and the Government
has been a curious mixture of Spanish
despotism and local self-government.
The original inhabitants have almost
disappeared; and the Malays, who
have to great degree taken their
place, are for the most part quiet, in
dustrious, inoffensive people. OF late
years numbers of Chinese have come
in from Hongkong, and they and the
Mestizoes (children of Chinese fathers
and Malay mothersl form the most
aggressive element. A number Of
these, it is supposed, in connection
with flibusters from Hongkong and
secret societies in Japan, perhaps
brought over from Formosa, have
taken advantage of the small number
of Spaniards and the weak garrison at
Manila, have raised a revolt, and, SO
far as can be learned from the meager
dispatches, have seriously endangered
the Spanish rule. Troops have been
sent from Barcelona, but it will be
some time before they can reach their
destination Merchants have been
warned against shipping goods to the
Philippines, and British war ship re-
mains at Manila to project British
subjects.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
A sUpGRrISE DIsrINCrIoy.

The hypercriticll man flung down
his paper in disgust.
"rhere it is again" he exclaimed.
Somebody has once more made use
of that inexousable phrase, luscious
bivalve.
"lt is rather old, replied his wife
in a sympathetic tone.
al don't object to the age of it, I"
was the petulant answer; 'what makes
me indignant is its inaccuracy. The
oyster in its native state is a bivalve.
But before it is tit for consumption
somebody has TO go at it with a knife
and hammer and pry at least one of
its shells oil, Then it may be accept
ed as a luscious Wand. But it's auni.
valve then. Aud so long as itremains
IA bivalye l dely anybody to digest 1t
unless he has a gizzGrd ikean ostrich. "
Washington Star.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
IF I KNEW.

II knew tho box where the smiles are kept
No matter how large the key
Or strong the bolt, l would try so hard,
'Twould open, I know for me.
Then over the land and the sea. broadcast,
I'd scatter the smiles TO play,
That TIE chlldren's icGss might hold them
fast
For many and many day.
II knew a box that was large enough
To hold all the frownsI meet,
would Ike to gather them, every one,
From nursery, school, and street.
Then, folding and holding, I'd pack thom in
Aud, turning the monster key,
I'd hire giant to drop the box
To the depths of the deep, deep sea.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

She-"Am 1 the first woman you
ever kissed ?" He (surprised) why,
no I have a mother. - Norristown
Herald.
Artist-"That man Bacon offered
me Sl2 for that largest p Uniting Of
mine" Caller--.'Oh, then you've
had it framed?"
Man in the First Row Int theater)- -
81 don't think much of that come
dian" Man in the Second Row-"Nor
[; he didn't ride in on bicycle. -
Puck.
"You have nothing to regret, broth.
er?" tentatively asked the minister,
"Nope," said the dying rounder. 81
ain't leaving cent. ."-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Mrs. Graymare--"Do you remem-
ber the night you asked me to marry
you? The moon was full. Mr..
Graymare-"5o was l. I."-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
"Overcoats are to be short and
trousers tight this winter. "Well,
I'm all right; only my trousers will
be short and my overeoat tight. -
Buffalo News.
He was reading aloud-"Bears, it
is said, have vicious propensity for
hugging." "Oh," she interrupted,
"how l wish you were bear DE
troit Free Press.
Tired Byard-"De coastin' part of
bicyclin' is all rite. Yer don't haff
ter work de pedals" Weary Wally-
eyes but yer haff ter hold on an
steer, don't yerP P"-Judge.
al suppose this campaign requires all
the oratory of you politicians?" a4tt #
requires very little oratorY; what
bothers us is the man in the audience
who asks questions. Puck.
She sat on the beach and gazed
meditatively at the rings which
adorned her fingers. "Know all men
by these presents" she murmured,
"that am summer girl. Puck.
Dolly-'I told Mr.. Nicefellow that
l bet Reggie twenty kisses our boat
would win a race at the regatta.
Daisy-"We wasn't he shocked"
Dolly-"No. l let him hold the
stakes. Boston Globe.
"You don't mean to say that that
stingy old maid has given you ten
marks for telling her fortuneY "In-
deed dc. told her she would meet
with an accident before she was TWEEN.
ty-four years old. "-Fiiegende Blaet.
ter.
"Dennis, did you mail that postal
card gave you?" 'Yis, sor, an Oi
tux the liberty, sorr, of putin two
clint shtamp on it, sorr. Ye wrote SO
foine an got so much on tn cyard Oi
thought it moight be overweight,
sorr. Harper Bazaar.
Mrs. Nubbins -"My husband is q
perfect brute" Friend-"You amaze
me-" Mrs. Nubbins-"Si the baby
began teething, nothing would quiet
the little angel bnt pulling his papa's
beard, and yesterday he went aud had
his beard shaved of, Tit. Bits.
Professor-"Do you know, madam,
there was "a time when men wore cor
sets; but they found they were injuri~
GUS to health, and So" Mrs. Wrong
righter-"Yes; and SO they gave
them to their poor, weak, helpless
wives AMI daughters. New York
Weekly.
"I am tired to DEATH" declared
Mrs. Matronly as she reached home
from down town tine other evening.
"What's the matter?" asked her hus-
band. "Been having ba5Y's pictures
taken. They have way OF taking
them instanUaneously now, you know"
"HoS long were you at it?" "lhreo
hours and half Detroit Free
Press,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
THE RULING PASSION.

Gus-"Jack, old hoy, it breaks me
all up to tell you, but the doctors have
decided against you"
Jack (very sick)-"What do they
say?"
Gus-"That you've only one chance
in a hundred to get we'll >"
Jack (who Is an inyeterate bettorl
-"Egad those are big odds. Go YOU
a fifty that pull through"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

The German law now requires that
contracts for futures in agricultural
products be made q public record,
and subjects all dealers in futures to
q substantial tax. The law is intended
to entirely suppress speculative deal
ings in produce.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

The Craft He TooK-A Lucid Explana-
tlon-Had Found It Out-No Rea-
son for Change Biased, Etc, Etc.
maiden stood upon the sands
or Narragansett Pier
Her lover held her by the hands;
Her papa wasn't near.
"And must you go2" she cried. "AlackI
fear 1 must" quoth he.
Al then he look little smack
And went away to sea.
Washington Times
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

The common belief that fine white
bread contains less nutriment than
coarse brown broad is mistake. So
says NJ. Girard, the eminent French
chnu,ist
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
TWO HEARTS NEGATI0NS.
by FRANCIS NJ. LIVINGSTON.

1O LILA AOhbLl Il
Eat at her desk
and scanned a let
ter she had just
finished. 1t was
written in a fine,
decided hand, on
pale gray paper.
In rom a Il c Q s
which Sibylla had
read, the compo.
sition of such let
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
WHAT PREVENTED HER.

Deaf Mute Lover (spesking through
finger signs)-"Please sing for me,
dearest"
Deaf Mute Loved One ditto, re.
gretfully)-"I can't dear; l have a
sore thumb. Judge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
NO REASON FOR CHANGE.

Stern Parent-"You must under.
stand, sir, that 1 want my daughter to
have us good home after marriage as
she had before, sir. -
Jack Bluffington-"Well, you're
not going to sell out, are youg-Bal-
timore News.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

Captain Julien Booth had risen at
dawn and had spent the morning rid
ing slowly through country lanes med
itating on the step he was about to
take.
at may be the act of brave man
or of a coward, he had said to himself
score OF times that day.
When in the early spring he asked
Sibylla Ashley to marry him he loved
her passionatelY, or thought he did.
He loved her SO no longer, or believed
he did not. The charm of her wonder
ful beauty was as potent as ever; but
the lmperiousness of her manner, the
directness of her speech which had so
fascinated him at first, had ended by
making him uneasy. She had been so
accustomed to homage and obedience
from every one, that he feared she
would exact from him more than he
could give. He had a growing fear
that she was lacking IN womanly ten
derness. He had ended in believing
that they would be miserable together,
and had made up his mind to tell her
SO and to abide by her decision.
In the woods that morning he had
gone over all that he would say. He
had prepared for every consequence of
his determination-for her bitter
scorn, for her cool contempt, for her
superb, disdainful silence and for
but no, that thought was dismissed at
once. The man did not live for whom
Sibylla Ashley would shed a teor.
Then he had laughed a4Ou.. ~. ;lis
rehearsal of tragedy-the staying OF
their happy love life. Booth rehears-
ing Othello is not absurd, but Othello
rehearsing herself
He would tell her that he was ready
to stand by his promire; aud then he
tried TO imagine TIE look in Sibylla
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
REBUFFED.

Gentlemau-"My lad, can yo1 III.
rect me to the Bank of England?"
Shoeblack with withering scorn)-
"Ga on; do yer fink L should be do.
ing this if was bank director ?"--
Worlds Comic.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
THE BEST THEY COULD DO.

"I found fishworm in my hydrant
this morning" said the wrathtul citi-
zen.
"Yes," said the official of the water
company, "that is the best we can do
Just at present. We can't afford to
furnish fsh-all we are able to fur
nish is bait. ."-IniianapolIs Journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

Professor Graham Bells claim that
he 'can talk million miles on a sun
beam" sounds to the Chicago Record
like Tnoonshine.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
HAD FOUND IT OUT.

She-"Did you know that Maud
has dark room on purpose for pro
posals?"
He.-"Well, rather. l developed
negative there myself last night. =
Comic Home Journal
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
EXCEPTIONS.

"There were only two dry eyes in
the house."
GLOW do you know about those
two?"
"I happened to know that two men
in the audience had glass eye apiece" "
Judge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
ONE WAY.

"They say the minister breaches
sensational sermons in order to di-
rectly reach the most dopraved
classes"
"How can that do it?"
"Why, now the reporters have to
bear him. Life.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
BIASED.

Wheeler-"My doctor advises me
to cycle but don't think will do SO. "
Bell-"You don't?"
Wheeler think he's biased
he's a surgeon. Judge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
GEORGE ALL RIGHT

Anxious Mother-"My dear, Pm
afraid George is getting into bad
company. He is out very late nearly
every night"
Observing Father-"On, he's all
right. He goes to see some girl or
other. Shouldn't wonder il he'd an
nounce an engagement soon"
"He hasn't said word about any
young lady"
"No; but he's keeping company
with one all the same. His right
wrist is full of pin scratches"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
elm sTREET, TIoNEsTA, PA.
sI.oo Per Year.
An effort will be made to cultivate
the sngar beet in the South.

Texas is harder on shoe leather "per
capita" than any other State in the
Union.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
A nun1p EKpnANATtoN.

"Aunt Lucy, what is eccentricity?"
''It's the queer things that other
people do. Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS 10 PUT UP wrrH

Major Blunderbore (who has Just
told our artist a regular side-splitter)
-"Well, that's good 'un, ain't it?
Anyhow, it's quite new and original,
for it was said only last night by n
clever little girl l know-a niece OF
my own"
Our Artist-"Yes; it's a capital
story"
Major Bluuderbore -"lhen why
didn't you laugh?"
Our Artist because ] told it to
you myself only last week-and you
didn't laugh. -. Punch.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04
RATES OF ADVERTISING,

One Column, one year. D.. ........,. 100 90
Legal advertisements ten cents per line
each insertion.
Marriages and death notices gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements collected
quarterly Temporary advertisements must
be paid in advance.
Job work-cash on delivery.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

Ashley's eyes when q man told her, in
effect, that he did not want her, but
would take her if she insisted.
That flash of lightning which almost
blinded him as he reached the Ashley
gate was pale in comparison.
For a moment he thought of riding
by. He wanted to postpone the in
terview-he needed more time for
thought.
Then he threw his head up and his
shoulders back as he turned his horse
and rode through the gate.
"It is the act of brave man or Of a
coward; 1 shall not make it the act of
a cowal d." he said.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

cant remember it until you get to
town"
Deed I'll do JUS 'zackly rs you
say, Miss S'bylla."
After the child had gone Sibylla sat
for a while with her hands clasped
above her head. The sleeves falling
back showed her two perfectly mould
ed arms. Then she took book from
the table, and, opening it, stared at it
absently for few minutes.
"Come here, Lefty" she said, clos
ing the book and holding out hand
toward where her sister sat quietly
sewing at the other side of the room.
She drew Lefty close to her and laid
her head against the younger girls
arm. 81 want you to kiss me-" she
murmured.
Lefty flushed with pleasure, and
taking the beautiful head between her
hands kissed Sibylla's mouth.
81 am not going to marry Julien,
Lefty. I have just broken the en-.
gagement."
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-11-04

After Sibylla had been left alone she
sat for awhile and wondered how JUL
len would leceive her letter. Perhaps
he would come out in the evening. She
hoped he would not, Sibylla wanted
to hear no entreaties; she dreaded a
scene. 1t would be 80 much better if
Julien would write sorrowful, manly
note and accept her decision. Then
they could meet after that as friends.
OF course, he would be unhappy for o
long time she expected that. 1t made
Sibylla herself feel a little sad, now
that it was done. But that would soon
pass.
She wondered how far Chrissy was
on the road, and if Julien would be at
the hotel when she arrived. She went
down stairs and walked on the lawn as
far as the gate, where she had so often
parted from him. She saw the rain
clouds gathering and returned to her
room. She tried to read but could
not. She heard the sound of horse s
hoofs below the window and looking
ont her lips turned pale. Julien was
riding up the drive. He must have
galloped all the way from the town,
she said, as she hurried from the win
dow to her mirror.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-06-13

Major-General Birney. who Is now at
the age of 70, practicing law and DONG
departmental work IN Washington, In
letter to Wells & Richardson Company
says:
"My wife has been taking the Paine S
celery compound for some time past ana
so much pleased with IL that she wishes
me TO express TO you her high opinion
of it's merits She thinks 1t Is the best
remedy she has ever tried"
General Blrney's hearty acknowieds-
ment OF the great and lasting good that
his family has received from PANE 5
celery compound IS repeated. IN SUD-
stance. in countless testimonials. written
I'm the same grateful spirit and sent from
every part OF the country
Don't sit with folded arms and 90 no
thing towards getting rid OF poor health
Drive out all impurities from your biood :
build up the vigor Of the body with
Paine's celery compound-the one remedy
that has kept all its promises IN the
past. 49,,
The tired brain nerves and BRAN heed
inst the sort of nourshment tnat TINS
great invigorator is able 10 supply.
Now IS the time when Paine's celery
compound. aided by the favorable IN
duences of the season. fairly outdoes It.
self. II searches out the hidden causes
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-06-13
DANIEL AND VICE-PRESTDENCf
To the Editor OF the Dispatch:

TO the Editor or the DlSpdlch.
AS the time for the meeting OF the Ma
tionai Democratic Convention approaches,
public speculation regarding the possible
candidates increases. and the sentiment
in each section of the country tends TO
converge to the support of some "favorite
SON" IT Is this sentiment that has per-
vaded Virginia in favor Of her gift>i
and glorious senator, John w. Daniel,
for the vice-presidency. and as this SEM
timent Is far from being local in char
acter. the question naturally arises: rs
Senator Daniel. constitutionally, eligible
for the Officer" Since the President or
the United States Is, by virtue OF ms
office. commander-n-chief of the army
and navy. and since mo person shall be
eligible for the office of Vice-President
who is not eligible for that of President,
the inelgibility Of Senator Daniel becomes
questionable. on account of the fact that
he is an ex-Confederate soldier, VINO heid
no commission in the United states army
previous TO his service i'm the civil war
and all ex-Confederates of his class are
debarred from service in the United
States army.
II senator Daniel, or any other ex-
Confederate, whose disabilities were not
removed by the recent legislation, known
cago the nomination will become an un-
fortunate embarrassment for the Demo-
cracy. for. in the light Of the Constitu-
ton. any man who is ineligible for ser
vice in the United States army, Is in
eligible for the office of President, the
commander-in-chief of the army.
HUNTER PARISH.
The United States statute TO which
our CORRESPONDENT refers is evidently the
act of July Is, 1866, which is in these
words mo person who has served IN
any capacity in the military. naval. or
civil service Of the so-called Confederate
States. or of either of the States in in
surrection during the late rebellion,
shall be appointed to any position in
the army Of the United States" This
statute is only limitation upon the
power of appointment" and, therefore,
could not be invoked against Senator
Daniel. should he be elected to the vice.
presidency. But, even shouldsthis act be
construed to apply TO the vice-presidency,
II would be unconstitutional, and, there
fore imperative. 1t is not within the
power of Congress TO prescribe other
qualifications for the office Of Nice-Presi-
dent than those enumerated in the Con-
stitution.
Senator Daniel never took an oath "as
a member of Congress. or as an officer
Of the United States. or as member oi
any state Legislature, or as an executive
or judicial officer of any State to sup
port the Constitution Of the United
States before he engaged I'm what the
fourteenth amendment characterizes as
'insurrection or rebellion" against the
United States, and. therefore that amend
ment can have no application TO him.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-06-13
------------------
HARLEQUIN HANNA.

The "amoosln" feature Of the ante-con-
ventlon proceedings at ST. LOUIS u VI.
fight between Mark Hanna, the driver OF
the Mckinley band-wagon. and Thomas {.
Platt. the Morton rlns-niaster' ihese
WORTHLESS have blood In their eyes for each
other. and when the grand RepuDiicah
aggregation throws open its dooFs TOT
business next Tuesday the fun Is likely 10
be fast and furious.
In this connection II may be remarked
that according TO numerous specials from
the Mound City Mark Is developing re-
markable versatility. Not saiished WIN
being the cynosure OF all eyes az the
whip OF the chariot hauling the Mckinney
hooters" he is said to be doing the now
you-see-it-and- now-you-don't" act as re-
CARDS the proposed financial plank In the
platform. Like a harlequin he now pops
up In one place clad in brilliant yellow
and the next minute appears somewhere
else costumed in pale-lemon. when II
strikingly suggestive OF being adulterated
with white IT IS also stated that he has
been lecturing on the art OF hedging, even
Colonel William Lamb, who did not tram
originally with the Mckinley part or the
combination having taken the course, ana
that he proposes TO make the tariff juggle
the star number in the aggregation's pro-
gramme. However. 1t is almost certain
that Mark IL merely INDUCING his sense
Of humor. and entertaining the people with
a series of previous side-shows, and that
when the regular performance comes off
he will do his part TO make 1t, as adver-
tised. the greatest hard-money show on
Garth
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-06-13
MAJOR j. II. FERGUSON DEAD.
Passed Away at His Home In "ooch-
Inud Wednesday Wight

Major James b. Ferguson before 'he
war one Of the leading businessmen III
Richmond. died Wednesday night at MS
home in Goochland county, ana was
hurried Wednesday afternoon. He was IN
his 18th year. Major Ferguson was
prominent and successful wholesale mer-
rhant in this city before the war ana
was made a quartermaster. with the tile
Of major. and stationed here early In the
war So faithful and efficient an oilicer
was he that Mr.. Davis sent MIN TO Eng
lond 10 be the purchasing agent OF the
corfederacy. He performed the duties or
mis- Office to the entire satisfaction or
the government. and received an auto
eranb letter from General Robert Il. Lee
acknowledging the obligations OF his army
to him. ... -, 90,
Since the war Major Ferguson had en-
Gagged in mercantile life in different ways
mill the infrmities OF age overlook MIN.
FOR several years he had been IN de-
Ginning health. He was the brother-in-
law Of the late Peachy II. Grattan. Of
his city. and he married the youngest
sister of w. w. Henry, Esq. lie leaves
a widow and son and daughter. lie