davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
Not to He TriAed With.
(From Cincinnati Gazette.}


Will people never learn that "cold" ia
On accident to be dreaded, and that when
it occurs treatment should be promptly
appliedy There is no knowing where the
trouble will end; and while complete re-
cavery is the rule, the exceptions are ter
rbly frequent, and thousands upon
thousands of fatal illnesses occur every
year nshered in by little iniudicious ex-
posure and seemingly trifling symptoms.
Beyond this, there are to-day countless
invalids who can trace their complaints
to "colds," which at the time of occur
renee gave no concern, and we're there
fore neglected. troubled with n
cold use Chamberlain's Cough Remedy.
1t is prompt and effectua. Is and so
cent bottles for sale at Irelands phar-
macy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
Mndern Matrimony.

NO. rejoined the. young duke, Il
am in no hurry to marry Capital is
still somewhat timid."
Far away across the ocean girls with
millions and no pasts are getting
older every minute.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
Hard to Suit,

She screamed whene'er he kissed her
It cannot be denied;
She screamed whene'er he kissed her.
When he did not she cried
Indianapolis Journal.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

J. w. Pierce, Republic, Ia, says: 81
have used One Minute Cough Cure in my
family and for myself, with results 30 en-
triely satisfactory that ! can hardly find
words to express myself as to its merit.
will never fail to recommend it TO others,
and on every occasion that presents it's
self. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
BEAMS.

He--What is kiss. dramatically
speakings
She with blush and puoker)-It's a
conjunction lone of those things that
can not be declined,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
Bark worse than His Bite.

Papa said Bobby, pointing to the
iron dog that stood on the lawn, docs
dogs like that ever bite?"
No." said his father; "but that one
barked once"
"Really?" cried Bobby
YES" said his father. II stumbled
over him one night, and he parked my
shins. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
Did He Take Her Next Timer

Did He Take Her Next Time?
He-Yes; | was out sleighing. And
froze all my fingers,
She (wh0 wasn't along)-I don't see
how young man can get the fingers
on both hands frozen
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
A Faithful Steward.

Golfer-Here, Steward, this change
Isn't right.
Stewart think it is, sir Five
Scotch and sodas.
Golfer-But only had one
Steward-Oh! I understand that, sir
But you will have the others before you
Co. All the members do, sir.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

"Give me liver regulator and can
regulate the world" said a genius. The
druggist handed him bottle of De Wits
Little Early Risers, the famous little
pills. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
A Timely joke.

How IL 1t never see You killing
timer" asked the idle person.
II can't find the time" said the busy
man, in perfect innocence.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

"You seem to have something on
your mind, Harold"
"Well, haven't. Do you think my
mind is pair of scales?"
"Oh, no; scales are evenly balanced"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

took out $4,000 insurance on my
life to-day, said the meek man.
suppose you will live for sixty or sew
enty years now, said his wife, in an ag-
grieyed tone,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
He Had Heard OF 1t.
Snailal affa lily

He Had Heard Of 1t.
The serpent smiled affably.
"Have an applet" he insinuated.
The mother of the race shrugged her
shoulders.
mot this Eve" she reioned.
"S'm other Eve
This" unused the tempter With
dazed look and slight shiver, must
be the woman's version. All, yes
Detroit Tribune.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
And She Believed Him.

And She Believed Him.
Can ever wear it out?" he falterod.
His eyes filled with tears.
mo" he sighed. 'Ah, no."
Thus it CHANGED that he gave his
wife great talk to the effect that the
necktie she had given him was too
sacred to be worn anywhere except III
the privacy of their home.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
But the Patient Didn't Give Up.

But the Patient Didn't Give Up.
Hargreaves-Yo know that time |
was so sick last summer? l just heard
that the doctor gave me up once.
Ferry--I heard that he gave you up
twice.
"Twice?"
eyes. The second time was after he
had been trying to collect his bill"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

The little dear is lost again, she said
as soon rs he got home.
Oh, that pug
Yes, that pug, if you must talk like a
brute, and | want you to advertise for
him.
And this is the ad. as it appeared:
Lost-A sausage-shaped yellow dog, an
swering, when hungry, to the name of
Baby. A reward will be paid for his
return to No. 81 Blank street, dead or
alive.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
Judging by Its Results.

TOMMY think mamma is an awful
gossip.
Ethel-Oh, Tommy! how can you say
such thing?
Tommy--Well, she is; everything
do she Immediately goes and tells papa.
hate gossip
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

"Beans?"
mo beans"
"Of course I do"
do what?"
know beans, you idiot"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

Where's Mrs. Ignatius Donnelly?
"Kittie, what are the women doing,
now that their bible is finisEed?"
We've got up lovely diagram to
prove that Mrs. Shakespeare wrote the
playa"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

swim,
An actin S if he had some sand
He toddles off t. Sunday school,
An sings about de Promise land .
De women t'ink he's jes de stuff.
Cause he's always sayin Please
An cause he never tears his clothes
A Kitchen on, an climbin' trees
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

Professor-It pains me, William, when
ever am obliged to punish you.
William know that, sir; but it doesn't
main Won ON the same snnt.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

1t not only is so, il must be 80, One
Minute Cough Cure acts quickly, and
that's what makes it go. Newton's drug
store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

An don't he t'ink he's in de swim:
An thinks he's Gin it, wild de girls;
Cause dey rigs him in a SASH
An let's his hair hang down in c1rls
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

An den de way dey rigs him up,
Dey make him out a regular grv-
Ye ought t. hear de gang jes' shout
When dat dere kid goes prancin' by.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
A foul t,rc ath IA

'fhi plA uNii ~
one Of the greatest
affections that a man
or woman can have.
An amiction not
only to themselves,
but to those with
whom they come in
contact. A foul
breath is a dreadful
discotlrager of afiec-
ton, or rather of the
demon stratin,l of af.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

But you jes bet he's all bluff;
I tol him so de udder night
An offered him a free-for-all;
An dat kid wouldn't even fight.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
RHEUMATISM,
LUMBACo,
SC|AT|CA,
Lame BACK,
DEBILITY, Etc.

When q trife will buy the greatest healin,
Invention Of the day? DIR. Samllen's Electri.
Relt is q complete body battery for self
treatment. and guaranteed, or money
refunded. It win cure without medicine
Rheumatism, LumbagO, Sciafica, Lame
Nervous Debility, Weakness, Losses,
Drains and all effects Of early indiscrc.
ton or excess. To weak men 1t r. the
greatest possible boon, as the mild,
direct to the nerve cenfers and improve
ments are felt from the first hour used.
A pocket edition Of the celebrated electro-
fnaIIical WORK
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
OUR WIT AND HUMOR.
RECENT PRODUCTIONS or THE
FUNNY WRITER'S.
Original and Selected Paragraphs for
Our Lean Readers "A Hitch in the
Dramatic Village Toper-Fiotsam
and Jetsam.

ERE'S a boy lives
down by me,
An he's de darn
d e S t sort o
chap
Never chewed, an
never sweared,
An never played
a game OF crap.
On Sunday, stead
of e DIN to
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09
Three Classes Of Men,

illnstrated, is sent free, sealed, by mail upon
application Every y0ung. middlc-RGeta
Or old man suffering the slightest weakness
rm% S., rsaH y, w,r snTW W. n.sS
health whom everything else has failed.
The eANDEN ELECTRIC CO.,
No. see Sixteenth 81. Denver. Col.
Also New York, Chicago & Tendon, Eng.
largest Electro Medical Concor. in the World'
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-03-09

An knock him out, wild one han tied;
An what We t'ink de buffer done?
He yelled out "Maww an den he
cried.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29

DOIIS, says the Pnllauelpnla LSuBefs VIC
associate with children and the nursery,
not with problems of civilization and ma
tional customs. But the doll has much
more of history and plays more inn
portant part in the world than is gener-
ally suspected. In fact, dolls are so inn
portant in some countries as to lead
noted Scotchman to devote years of study
to them.
Andrew Findlater, LII. D., the eminent
Scotchman of letters, has written paper
filled with almost incredible information
concerning dolls.
Not only has the use of dolls been In
vogue from the remotest ages, but it is
common in all barbarous nations as we'll
as among civilized peoples.
Neither is 1t to children alone that the
fondling of dolls is confined, says DIR.
Findlater. Among many uncultured
tribes females are known to carry dolls
long after they have arrived at woman
hood.
The women of the Bechuanas carry a
doll with them until they give birth to a
child that lives, and the Basuto women
have a similar practice.
DR.. Findlater says further that in many
sections of Africa twins are regarded with
unspeakble terror There Is a tradition
among the savages that If both children
are allowed to live they must be either
mentally or physically unsound as they
would have but one spirit between them
Accordingly, whenever twins are born
the younger is always killed by the pa
rents. AS though in some measure to
show she did not wish to be cruel to the
murdered offspring, the mother takes
with her a doll and bestows upon 1t a care
equal to that of the first born child.
Among the Wanyamwezi," says Dr.
Findlater, "it is customary for the parents
to kill one of the twins and then to wrap
a gourd of calabash in skins, to place it
to sleep in the same bed with the surviv-
ing child, and then to put food at its
lips"
These dolls of the savages are for the
most part cut out of plain wood, though
in a few cases an elephants tusk Is uti-
lizPd for the same nurnnsA.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29

ut is impossible to please my wife,"
sighed weary husband the other day.
When the sun doesn't shine 1t gives her
the blues, and when it does she says 1t is
fading the carpet"
The wedding invitation is no longer
printed on the sheet of note paper which
folds TO fit a square envelope; the folio
sheet now used for that purpose is six and
a half inches long ana five and a quarter
wide, and requires an oblong envelope,
while the paper Itself has a smooth dun
finish like parchment instead of a glazed
surface as formerly. The script Is about
the same size as it was last year, a trihe
smaller If anything, and the words and
lines are brought rather nearer together,
so that the invitation compactly oceu-
pies the center of the sheet with wide
margins about It, giving a simple, even ar
tistie effect somewhat after the manner
of an etching. Some very smart people
even use what is termed the paragraph"
form, in which the wording runs straight
along instead of being arranged in lines
OF varying lengths, and the result is very
good.
The wording of a wedding invitation is
quite an important matter which does not
always receive the attention it should. For
church wedding the parents OF the bride
request the "honor of your presence .
whereas for a home wedding the pleas
ure of your company" is asked, the dis
tinctlon being obvious. Moreover for \
home wedding, the name of the guest is
often inserted; for instance MIR. and
Mrs. George Mowbray request the pleas
ure of - -- company at the mar
riage of their daughter" etc. AS this
form more closely approaches a personal
invitation, 1t is of course, more Of a
compliment to the guest. At one very
smart wedding recently the parents of the
bride simply requested the honor of your
presence at the marriage of their daugh-
ter at St. Thomas church." etc, her mans
being omitted but the calling cards OF
both bride and groom being enclosed.
The special invitation to the wedding
breakfast or reception is about the Same
as last year. save that the cards are a
trifle more oblong. The wedding an
nouncement is printed on the same kind
of note paper as the wedding invitation,
the simple card no longer being consid-
cred absolutely good form; IT, however, II
is used, IL must be oblong, about five and
quarter inches wide and three and a
quarter from top to bottom. 1t is per-
haps worth nothing that contrary TO the
ordinary usage, honor" when it appears
upon an invitation, is always spelled "hon-
our"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29

bell-ringer at Oman, cripple, had way
ward son, who was in prison for a serious
offense, and the father saw the police and
offered to tell where the brigands har-
bored If his sons pardon was assured.
His offer was accepted.
In the heart Of the hills, ten miles from
Oman. was an old water mill that had
been the scene of frightful tragedy In
the Chouan war Of 1898 and was avoided
by the superstitious peasantry, and here
the brigands had their present headquar-
ters. Two thousand troops advanced on
this by converging routes on Christmas
night. 1t was very stormy, but they push
ed on, and were soon within hearing OF a
bagpipe. A rush was made and the place
taken. eighteen of the band slain and
eleven of the police. Among others were
all the Gumene brothers but Huon. on
examination passage dug from the mill
into a deep raVine was found, and by
this the chief had escaped. Once in BRUSH
wood he was safe.
The bel1-ringer's son was released. He
was a drunkard, and II was soon known
that his father had been the informer.
Three months passed One night the bell
ringer climbed the narrow belfry stair to
toll the bell for man who had just died.
AS he took hold Of the rope he felt the
breath of some one in his face and was
seized by the throat. Mad with terror, he
made a rush, received a knife thrust, but
pushed his assailant against a frail door
that opened into the church, forty feet
below. IL gave way. and he heard the
man fall through the darkness down,
down, on to the stone floor. His screams
and wild alarm on the bell aroused the
town. The police entered the church,
andsthere, knife In hand, unconscious but
stu alive, lay Huon Gumene
lie was apparently much hurt, but ut
tered no word, and after the usual exam
nation was sent to the safest prison in the
department-the Tour d'ArIet, an old Bre-
ton stronghold at the mouth of the Rance,
tower fifty feet high built on a rock
sixty feet above the sea which boils and
foams around its base. Looking down, 1t
would seem impossible for anything save
a sea-gull 20 reach the water in safety.
Gumene was ironed in the top room of
the tower. His jailer was an old sergeant
in the army, much trusted He was a
Norman, but his young wife was Breton.
Gumene was not seriously hurt, and so,
early one morning, he filed his irons
through, made fast a rope to the bar OF
his window and swung himself out He got
to the end, and just then the mist parted
and twenty feet below lay his only foot
hold, q narrow shelf of stone at the foot
of the tower. His courage did not give
way. Hand over hand he went back and
was supplied with more rope, and next
morning stood on the cliff free man. He
crawled as far as he could, took one look
at the hell of waters below, and leaped.
That night the jailor's wife left, and was
never seen again In France; but ten years
after IL was known that Gumene was a
Woodworking planter In Texas and that
the sergeants wife was with him. He had
reached a boat in waiting and made his
escape to America.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29
BRING THE CHILDREN
TO SEE THE TOYS AT
Eek ST ElN'S!

said Mr.. Brambel from the turbine wheel.
] couldn't see why steam could not do
what water did, especially when steam had
qualities that water lacked, and that were
essential
You know that when a little turbine is
hit by a column Of water no bigger than
your pencil something has to go. You take
smaller wheel, mechanically correct, and
turnl against IL an inch steam Jet at one
hundred pounds or over, and allow for the
steam expansion, and why won't you get
power2 ! knew that 1t was necessary to
get the greatest possible development OF
the steam expansion In order to give sue
cess TO my idea and / have been working
along that line for twelve years.
When the throttle valve Is turned to
admit steam or other motive agent TO one
Of the inlet PORTS II enters the cylinder adj
jacent to one of the expansion Chambers
and is thus admitted to one Of the cham-
bers or recesses of the piston; the expan-
sion of steam gives the impetus necessary
to carry the piston far enough to bring the
succeeding chamber into the field Of the
incoming steam. The first chamber being
meanwhile exhausted, reversal is accom-
plished by moving the lever to cause the
admission Of steam through the other inlet
port.
This machine apparently gives in ro-
tary engine the combination of a cylinder
istered extended bearing boxes. inwardiy
divergent steam inlet ports, communicate
ing with the interior cylinder at their in
ner ends. and common valve casing al
their outer ends 1t has a CUTOFF and re-
versing valve arranged in the cylinder
and is provided with perforal pockets
adapted to communicate with steam ex-
panslon chambers at the inner end Of this
inlet ports. Registering cross-sectionallys
1t has semi-clrcular grooves formed in tho
continuous faces Of the piston and cylinder
head, and concentric with the boxes, their
grooves combining to form lubricating
ducts. A shaft Is fixed to the piston, and
lubrlcating devices are In connection with
the boxes Of the shaft bearings. whereby
lubricants pass between the ends of the
piston and the cylinder heads, and accu-
muiate In the ducts to form packing. This
prevents the exhaust Of steam or the pas
sage thereof from one pocket Of the piston
to another"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29
This Ad. will not appear again.
This Ad. will not appear again.
SI [ | GIVE
COLD | AWAY

We win give sac in gold to the person who en-
tiers this contest and sends in the largest list Of
words formed from the letters IN SUNNY SOUTH.
$40 tor the second, $40 for the third, $40 for the
fourth $40 for the fifth and S. for each OF the next
eight lists. Use no letter oiener than II appears
In sunny South. Use no proper nouns. or foreign
words. A word which has two meanings can be
used only once. Use any standard dictionary.
Contest closes December a.. In order 70 enter
contest Il is necessary 10 send 50 cents for three
months subscription TO the SUNNY SOUTH,
the Souths great family story paper. EveH If y0n
make 0Hfy ten zU0ras y0n 7gfX gef a fylse. as you
win receive il addition 70 the Sunny South, your
choice Of one Of the four following offers; First 10
complete novels BY Miss Mulock. Second, IA
complete novels by Wilkie Collins Third, IA COM
plete novels BY the Duchess. Fourth. Il complete
novels by Sylyanus Cobb. Jr. Let US know which
offer You want. For So we viii send the SUNNY
SOUTH one year, allow you 70 enter the contest,
and send two Of above offers Perhaps you would
like a complete set Of Dickens works in IA
volumes. II SO we will send you the set and allow
YOU 70 enter contest and also send the SUNNY
SOUTH 3 months for 81, OF for 81 50 You can
enter contest, get the set complete. with SUNNY
SOUTH one year.
II. o. Fox ia Atlanta. ca
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29

ut is impossible to please my wife,"
sighed a weary husband the other day.
When the sun doesn't shine 1t gives her
the blues, and when it does she says it is
fading the carpet"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29
INVENTION SOLD ron -, 900, 900.
How Grant BrambeI Got the idea of
His Rotary Engine.

Sleepy Eye, Mimi, Nov. 25.-Grant
Brambel, the inventor Of the wonderful
turbine steam engine, has just sold his in
vention to an English syndicate for about
$1,000, 0O0
Mr. Brambel is young EngIishman,
blue-eyed. hrm-Jawed and squarely built,
thorough mechanic, a deep and closer OBJ
server, a reader and a student. He will be
forty years old next month. Like many
other Englishmen, he has been q globe
trotter He has been in this country a
number Of years, and since 1892 has been
located at Sleepy Eye, an employee Of the
Northwestern road and quietly perfecting
his machine He Is married
~ frat got the idea Of rotary engine"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29

The future marriage question which is
being discussed so promiseuously in cur
rent literature, not only serves as a tar
get for the tiresome NEW woman Jokes"
but is receiving the serious consideration
of thinking minds. The French marriage
of to-day has been severely criticised on
this side of the Atlantic. especially in its
dowry feature The selection of the hus-
band by the parents of the wife meets with
objection also, but there is something to be
said in favor of It, French parents gem
orally having the welfare of their daugh-
ter at heart, which Is only natural, do not
think of imposing on her a husband for
whom she has no predileetion. A girl of
Is in France, having a very limited ex-
perience of life, Is apt to be deceived in
her estimate of men, and her parents with
that knowledge of the world which time
alone can give, guide her in her selection.
Besides, there are other considerations.
The family ties are stronger than with us
and the daughter can no more entertain
the thought of entirely separating herself
from father and mother than they can of
separating themselves from her. The hus-
band from this reason becomes as much
q member of the family as If he were son
This causes them to exercise prudence,
lest he who proposes to enter the family
may disturb it's harmony. Surrounded by
such restraints, and a social calamity as
an elopement with the coachmau is rare
One of the most Objectionable features of
the French marriage is that 1t is hurried
on too early in the life of the woman
French law legalzeS the contract at the
age of 10, and as soon as the daughter has
attained this age the mother never rests
until she has secured a husband fer her.
often twice and even thrice the age of the
wife. Thus the girl-wife rather accepts
than chooses, and there is usually no spon-
taneity in the action.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-29

is anticipated The innovation referred to
is in the lettering. Script of course, is al
ways in good taste, but the very smart wo-
man of to-day has her name engraved on
her calling card in the tiniest and neatest
Roman letters; while If the wishes to at
tain the acme of swelldom, her name APP
pears in the daintiest of Old English char
acters.