The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-04-19
A STORY BY ALKALI IKE.
HE WAVES ELOQUENT OVER 4
LOVE AFFAIR OF HIS YOUNG
DAYS.
Gladys Tiddicum's Eccentric Dad.
The Old Man Had a Strong Faith
in PhrenOIOgy and Its Uses.


group of prominent citizens assembled in
the reaI-estate Office of Col. Handy Polk,
.of a circumstance that sorter comes to
nv notice while I'm abidin' down in the
Panhandle country, some years back Of"
What was it you done?'' INTERCEPTED APP
petite Bill, who held himself in high es-
TEEN as wit. that you had to leave
thar?"
..Nuthin," responded the virtuous Isaac.
Il simply come away as a matter Of senti-
ment."
Popular sentiment?'
'.Nawl This yere exodus of mine hain't
no compulsory git away. 1 hain't that kind
of a mani I'm hoppin out burcuz 1 don't
yearn to linger. But when it comes to run
min me out without my consent, L am yere
10 say that 1t requires heap of experience
an united efforts of middlin large set
Element to accomplish the good work 1
remember, one time down yonder in Ari-
iona, when"
Let me see, Ike" interrupted DR.. Slade
81 believe you started to tell me about an
episode in the Panhandle country"
That's so; much obliged, Doc. Wal, in
them days, I'm some younger an endowed
with a heap sight less tum-tum than at
present, an amongst other things 1 gifts
myself sorter tangled up in a love affair."
4
dim visters of the years that have flown
as the poet would git off, shows up to have
had its amusin' p'ints, though it hahn
strikin' me that way any to speak of at
the time. Tell you how 1t was. Thar was
a young lady, Twin on her paws claim
about three miles out from the settlement,
by the name of Gladys Tlddlcum an
'Ho!' broke in the irrepressible and
light-minded Appetite Bill. Couldn't
she"
yep" interrupted Ike. "Thar was
any number of things she could do for
il. She might have married me- tr in
stance, or taken the name of any mar
riageable Teller in the county, II II hadn
been for one thing, which was her dad
Pretty girls is plenty, every pace an
all times of the year-an women folks
is pretty to the man who had a good
mother-but l rise to say that, outside
of the advertisements OF tooth powders
an sech luXuries, 1 hain't never seen
a female face that could set IN the game
with Gladys Tiddicum.
she is Jest the proper hight an the
regulation width, an her halr-wal, gen
tlemen, it's curly, like these we're little
wiggles you see on grape vines, an yal-
ler similar to scrambled eggs. Them eyes
of her'n is as blue as-er-er-a right new
flannel shirt, an soft an meltin' till you
can't rest. An them nose-I mean that
cit to the focus" interjected Appetite
Jaw. wal, thar wasn't a thing about
Gladys that anybody could object to but
her dad He was sight-old man Ilddis
cum was-any way you took notice or
him. Looked a heap nike the newspaper
pictures of President Kruger OF the Irans-
wall republic, an he was queerer than
an old blue goose. He said that he hadn
a shadder of objection TO the girls giItln
married if she wanted to, puryld1n It
was TO the right kind of a man. But his
way of discoVerin' the proper pattern OF
a son-in-law was some quaint.
ssHe didn't make inquiries as to the
candidates financial standin', nor prowl
nd oil
ter He simply felt of the young fellow S
head and based his judgment on the shape
of It; ,,,,,,...... ,,.,. . ,,,,,-,,o,oo-,st-
or thought he was, which amounted TO the
same thing-an when candidate Tor Ola
dys' hand put in an appearance RAJ her Ga l1i
if the style of the young fellers mead
didn't meet with the old mans indorse-
ment, that was as far as ne ever 4 sol no On
the road to bliss. 1 don't reckon Paw Ind
dicum was a phrenologtst to hurt-llkely
enough what he didn't know about 1t
would have filled a. heap bigger book than
what he aid know-but what he said went,
an thar was no jerk back from his de-
cision. 1T, No., lie
mess, same as preachin' or stage-robDih
am he made Grafton that if he caught any
young buck pesticatin around MS Wig.
wan before submittM 70 the ceremony %
layin' on of hands. or afterward without
his Endorsement, he'd shoot MIN SO run Oh
holes that his pelt wouldn't hold corn
shucks. An, as the old man was mldulL ll.
expert with his gun, an you can't GIT
quick an shoot up a maidens rather Win
out sorter prejudicin' her agln you, lhaJ
thar law of his'n 'peared to be entirely
4 hain't never known what special for
nations the old man demanded in the can
didate's skull, but l reckon ne kIl0Weu q
himself Tennyrate, he was distressln ~
particular, an so was Gladys, an plane
few of the candidates got past the oIu
mons gill not in the first place, an up 70
no cf INV dom none
of the few that pleased the OLD man Deeh
plucky enough to meet with the girl ap-
proval. But she was SO powerful allurlhsi
Gladys was-that as often as once week,
at the outside thar was some loNelorn
dub goin hopefully out toward Qlo man
Tiddicum's or crawlin' dejectedly BACK To-
" M che enough. gifts embroiled in
this myself, after a While, pelh as
said before, not so abundantly endowed
with tum tum as 1 am at present. m
trainin, them days, with feller by the
name of Nip Britt, and me an MN IS
thick an fraternal a-plenty rms yere
Nip Britt is also infatuated with Gladys,
an considerable worse than me. lie gets
SOS he can't eat along toward the last
which I hain't never that far gone
Thar hain't nuthin' else to be done, an
after awhile Nip decides to do and dare,
as it were, an run up agin the old man.
OF course, Nip fatters himself that he's
blessed with a good head but love makes
towards of us all, as they say in stories,
an he hates like snakes to come to q
SHOWDOWN and run the fisk OF ndNln Ms
last hope knocked out from under him.
But, bimeby, he gifts his hair clipped to
the skin, to give his head an even start
him.
I'VE mutually agrees that it's a square
rattle for him to take the first turn, an if
ne humps IN to try next. If he's settin'
IN luck I'm to be his right bower at the
ensuin' weddin'.
so far, so good. The old man comes
down to the gate when we ride up. Thar
FAINT much powpow; the whole business
Is so old to Paw Tiddicum that he's got Il
reduced to a system, an it's SO new to
Nlp that he's got himself reduced to the
soplln pint In two minutes they are at
Il; m settin' on my boss an holdin' Nip's.
mp mas his hat off, an the old man is
Slandin behind him on a little box that
ne keeps for that purpose, with his pipe
~ his mouth an his spectacles on his
nose, solemnly PAWN Nip's skull over like
~ watermelon he is, amin to plug
eventually.
The beautiful Gladys Is settin' up on
.Hs porch OF the house carmly fannin' her
81 an lookln as unconcerned as II II IS
ST. everyday matter an so charmin that
N powerful tempted TO shoot up both
~ dad an Nip an pack her right OF