Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-05-07
IN THE BOX OFFICE.

81 have just met a comedian from 'ne
Jump & Hustlem company" said the ad-
vance agent, as he fell upon the sofa. HE
tells me a marvellous story of the wander
irgs of the company through Wisconsin.
what were the fabrications?" asked
the manager, as he settled himself IN such
q position that access 10 the cigar box was
.mpeded.
The advance agent sighed and began:
"He tells me-" said the preceding liar
..that the company played in hare luck al
through the first week of the trip, but mat
there was money enough to pay all board
hills. AT last, however. they struck town
m north and the receipts were about 800.
OF course they defaulted on the hotel Dill.
The landlord then proceeded TO do trek
which is the understood custom OF land
lords on he road. He annexed himself 10
the company and went along to the neVXt
stand to collect his money there
Business was worse at this place ana
the landlord of the hotel of this place also
Joined the show as travelling creditor. Al
the next point matters were equally bad
and a third landlord connected himself
with the company. Well, one week after
the run of hard luck had reached It's ell
max. the show was far up north ana TOUR
landlords were travelling with the organi-
cation.
The manager of the show was Napoleon
ic. One night he saw the four landlords
walking together and condoling with one
another. and saying what GOOD show this
was and what pity it made no money
An idea struck him, and he called con-
ference with the four landlords.
Gentlemen said he, L am under
heavy expense in carrying you around the
country Yet l recognize the fact that you
have legal rights and 1 want 10 see you get
your money. Now. here's little PROPOSE
ton: You are all, every one. big, fine look
ing fellows and can all doubtless sing well.
I'll give you light speaking parts in the
comedy and you can sing in the chorus,
receiving regular salaries. How will that
strike your
THE four landlords were agreeable and
so It was done. AS 1t happeden, however,
all four were heavy bass singers and the
result was TO make the chorus lop-sided.
In fact. when the four landlords would lift
I'D their voices il sounded like a bullfrog
convention.
And the manager telegraphed ahead to
his advance agent at the next town, say
ing:
Engage rooms with no landlord who
does not sing tenor""
The audience sighed sympathetically.
Then up spoke the comedian.
Last summer I was with Cmbaugh's
great extravaganza company and business
was so poor that we Gid not even eat regu-
larly One night in Indiana 1 was sitting
talking to limbaugh in front of our hotel
and suddenly felt called upon TO make
kick.
".Mr. limbaugh said I, I am a star
comedian, supposed to be getting SO
week [ think I ought to make a little
front on the street and should be seen
smoking a cigar
Limbaugh sighed and hauled out 50.
That's all I have in the world said he,
but we'll have some two-for-five cigars
GAS we walked toward the cigar store
we looked across at the theatre. To our
rushing in the door. We looked again. 1t
was true The eager public. in droves. was
fairly trampling one another 10 get into
that lobby,
"Umbaugh's face lighted up. AT last
said he. am appreciated, and things are
coming my way. Keep away from the
house till you are due to go on-you'd hoo
doc it. Wen go and have some real cigars
meanwhile,'
"And we did. He blew that 50 with riot
Gus profusfon. And while we smoked and
drank and ate. the crowd kept surging in.
AT last | was due TO go back and dress.
We walked over and approached the box
office with hauteur and loftiness. I'M
baugh looked pleasantly upon the jay who
was selling tickets and remarked: Great
business tonight, isn't it?'
Nav said the jay. Thirteen dollars
in the house,"
"'what" shriekea limbaugh. But I
saw thousand people going i'm
"'Yas,' said the jay. There's a Salvation
Army festival in the hail upstairs, and I'm
selling tickets to that, too"
And all hands bowed and wept in SYM
pathy"-Chicago News.