Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1896-08-06
A FriNdly Dispute.
(Ouiet Observer in Com. Gaz.

kAlulCL OOSSANGA Al NOAAs 49,
I'VE have Just dropped in to have you.
settle a friendly dispute" said one OF
two really fne-looking ladies.
Yes said the other, 'I suggested
YOU as umpire, because you are supposed
to know everything; besides the Com
ruercial Gazette has been our family
paper for over 10 years-my father be-
gan taking it long before l was born.
The latter clause of that sentence was
what saved her from being suspected OF
using youth reviewers.
"Well, we have taken this paper as
long az I can remember, but III not
venture to say Just how long ago that
may be-" observed the other.
"But to the question: she continued.
''She says that rs TO means 10 SILVER
dollars for one gold dollar
''Now, it does, don't it," broke in the
other after the manner of a baseball
player demanding judgement.
NO, it does not, rejoined the other.
"Of course it does-what else can 1t
mean?' 'retorted the other.
'eWhy, didn't tell you it means that
IS parts Of silver to part Of gold Is a
standard dollar?'
''You said that, but you couldn't find
a standard dollar
Nor YOU couldn't find anybody who
would give 10 silver dollars for one OF
gold
But YOU can find them when Bryan's
elected, can't you?'
'eWhen Bryan's elected you will be Ii
able to get anything whatsoever, OBJ
served the umpire.
''There, didn't / tell you?" and the 10
to I lady clapped her hands in glee:
but he means that the moon will turn
to green chese when Bryan's elected,
said the other.
How absurd Such thing never has
happened and never will"
tOf course not, and that's just what
he meant, and YOU couldn't see it.
"Well, I guess l am not any dumber
than some other people l know" retort-
ed Mrs. I6 TO I.
Nobody said you were"
"Then what did you mean"
'I meant that he said the moon would
turn to green cheese as soon as Bryan
is elected
That's worse and more of it. You
didn't say that at all, did you2' appeal
ingly to the umpire.
"0f course you did, but didn't mean
that such thing could happen, did you?
"Such a thing as WHAT" demanded
Mrs. I6 to I.
Gas Bryan being elected"
.'Who aid he would be elected"
''You did
"I never. Did II"
"Why, Mrs. -."
How ridiculousl'
''Now, don't be absurd.
"The i-dee-a!"
"Well then, what did you say"
Il merely said the moon had never
turned to green cheese, and 1t never
will" replied Mrs. I6 to I, and empha-
sized her reply by jabbing pair OF scis-
sors into the desk and bending the points
50 badly they will have to be sent to the
blacksmthshop for repair before they can
be used.
There now, you've spoiled the mans
shears and he won't be able to get the
paper out.
f'Ol I'm awfully sorry; but you don't
get the paper out with the shears, do
you?'' and Mrs. 10 to I smiled so sweet
iv, and looked so innocent that the urn-
pire declared he was glad she had ruined
the scissors and that he never used them
except for trimming his finger nails and
.peariny cock-roache..
'ROdCneS! hcrCy me, cACldliHcu AlIs-
I6 TO I, hastily, rising and shaking her
skirts.
well, l guess we've bothered you
long enough" observed the other, rising
and casting searching glances over pile
Of suspicious-looking rubbish that had
accumulated on one end of the desk.
yes, indeed, | krow you must be
nearly bored to death with people com
ing in to get your opinion on all sorts of
questions" said Mrs. I6 to 1, quite
meekly.
1t was plainly noticeable that the color
was leaving her face, but whether this
was due to the subsiding of her agitation
over the 10 to problem, or to her fear
of nasty reaches, may never be known.
well, we are ever so much Obliged TO
you for your kindness. and will read
your articles with ever so much more in
terest, now that we know you to be so
kind and amiable."
eyes, indeed; but we will have tc
hustle if we catch OOH mercItul
heavensl" and Mrs. I6 to I sprang to-
wards the door.
at was only Ay," said the other, in
tender, assuring tones.
81 thought it was a"
eve are ever SO much obliged" inter
rupted the other. Then they went
away, and there was silence in the Office
for several minutes.