The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-02-22

Old Man White WAS character Of
prominence in a small Maine town some
years ago. He was the local liar, of whom
the town was justly proud, for it was said
he could give "pints to airy other critter in
the caountry, an then beat him at yarnin
it, without hafe tryin." No one could tell
bigger or more impossible story than
White. If they attempted it, the old sin
ner would not rest until he had invented
some yarn that completely put his rival b
route. Sometimes he "cut his own fin
gers" in most decided manner but he
would never acknowledge it, and he
promptly got angry on having slips of the
kind pointed out to him.
One night, as n party of us sat around a
comfortable fire in the big wood stove Of
the village grocery, the men began telling
about large loads of various kinds they
had seen drawn by cattle. After listening
in silence for long time, Old Man White
strengthened up, took in new "chaw"
and cleared his throat for action. In mo.
ment, everybody was listening in an at
tentive manner lrd aR(tlboaaaRh tfeeiRsant winka
"Talkin abaout big loads r'minds me, "
drawled White, speaking through his nose
with the genuine down east twang. "Year
dkO III udWlou III thc Bhul ulnR
dest load of hay with them air steers whit
l sold Jed Blaisdel. hain't gin to work
in on Sunday, as everybody knows, but 1t
happened he'd slathers of hay in the cock,
an I saw an all fired big shower a-comin
up. Thar wasn't one of the men araound
the place, as they'd all gone off fishin, but
1 Jest boilers to my wife to come aout an
g!-e me hand, an then yoked the steers
la 81 -. i,,ta al
"Anybody as knows anything abaoui
me knows I'm purity good man at pitch
in on. So told the old woman to jest git
up inter the rack an tread an take keer
didn't bury her. She done it, an will
say she's jest abaout the best man at build
In load ever saw, by guml The way
tossed them cocks up inter that rack m
braided them air steers araound that there
field wus caution to cats.
swell, kept a-pilin an buildin al
Nancy kept a-treadin. Purity soon the loac
got so high he'd to toss the cocks up, al
Jest kept the air full Of 'em till Nancy
she yelled whoa Then she sed the load'd
never ride to the barn 'thout goin tt
pieces, but lowed could fix that. got
bindin pole an hitched it forrud an aft
though l didn't hev very good rope tt
make 1t fast at the back. To fix this,
Jest told Nancy to put her weight onter Il
an bear down fer all she wus with.
'By this time, it he'd begun ter rain, al
jest braided them steers till they wen
fer ther barn a-kitin. When ther from
wheels struck the sill at the door, the bacl
rope a-holdin the bindin pole bruck. Thu
old woman was squattin on that end
an when the pole Tipped up 1t jest sent he
right up over the roof of the barn. Tha
air load was SO blamed heavy that then
steers, bein new shod, he'd to git down al
scratch, an they ripped up every plank o
the barn floor Jest as fast as they passed
over it, by gumr
The old man stopped, and somebod,
ventured to inquire:
"Wus your wife hurt' sh'ud though
It'd killed her wen she struck"
"She struck on the load of hay" sal,
White.
"Why, the hay wus in the barnp'
"Not muchl Them steers got ter goin 81
fast they couldn't stop, an they took tn
load clean through an aout the from
doors. Lucky they did, fer Jest then tn
old woman came sailin over the barn ltk
balloon an struck right on the load
'thout touchin another thing. Never hur
ner hair, by 1uxP
There were several moments of profoun'
silence, broken by the same inquiring in
dividual who had spoken before.
"But you sed the shoes of the steers rip
ped up the planks of the floor right along
Haow'd they haul the load through"
Old Man White bridled up in an instant
"Haul 1t through, you gaul dern chug
headP he snorted. "Why, they jest yank
ed it along so blamed fast the load didn'
hev time to drop through the floorl Haoy
in thunder'd you think they hauled I
through An il they hadn't hauled
through my wife'd be dead now. She
livin-that's proof they hauled it through
II airy critter thinks it amt proof, let hin
say so ter me right nowl"
And nobody said word.
GILBERT PATTEN.