The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-03-31

ITF "a W.
The Solitude is Too Deep for BiIkins and
the Other Would be Statesmen--Poli-
tics and Bible Stealing.
B.-"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"HelIo! Maj)r j. How are you
feeling to-day9'
B.-"Only sorter tolerable. This
country is too quiet for me. l want
some exsitement. The Pops amt sayin'
q wurd an the Dymakrats, except me,
are putin in most ov their time cussin'
the Pops half the time an u own
party the other half. I reckon the
Pops are keepin' Lent. Anyway they
are too blamed quiet ter please me.
They remind me too much Ov General
Stonewal Jackson's plan ov fghtin'.
I wuz purity close ter him when he
wuz scarin' the Yankees out ov their
britches, an I know how it They
couldn't sleep at mite fer expectin' him
ter drop down on them every mint.
I wanter know whut IL goin' on"
R.-"IfIunderstand you land doubt
less the other politicians are in the
same frame of mind), you are all like a
lone man out on the great plains.
There is nothing but solitude. Not a
living creature is in sight. Alone!
Alone! You exert your voice to the
utmost and it sounds like a screech
from the Internal regions. Not even
an echo answers back. It is said that
travellers have become insane while
attempting to cross the plains alone,
with nothing in sight but land, sky
and sunshine, or clouds as the case
might be. I imagine that the politi-
clans are in the same awful condition;
they are insane already. Up North
Reed and Mckinley are shouting and
doing their best to attract attention.
But few are giving them any notice.
In our own State Russell and Dockery
are almost hysterical in their efforts to
get recognition, but it is a difficult
matter. All nature is spread out be
fore them-land, water, people, ami
mals-but all their eloquence is wasted
on desert air. The politicians doubt,
less argue to themselves that they are
casting goldbug peares before the
great common herd of swine, so to
speak. The people ere thinking, watch
ing. The man who gets their conf
dence and vote this year must have a
record. 1t will do nc good to depend
on campaign promises. TIE candidate
who starts out this year declaring that
he is for silver and for reform of every
kind, will be asked about his previous
record, and he will put in an uncom-
Portable time while on the stump. You
can't fool all the people all the time"
B.-"There you go with a lot O. re-
ligious political talk. Don't you know
that honesty in politics is an irredes-
ant dream?'
R.-''It is with goldbug Democrats
and goldbug Republicans, but is not
and never has been with honest PEG.
pie. An honest man is honest in poll
tics as well as anything else. The
Sunday Christian and week day devil
will never walk the golden streets.
The dishonest politician will steal q
mule or rob a dwelling
it suits him"
Bob, Tn goin' ter stop talkin' tel
you. Betsy will be glad ter hear SIGH
talk that she won't sleep anymore in 6
week. She believes in foreordinashun,
Professionalism, immershun, sprink
lin, an free coinage of silver, but III
be blasted if 1 ever could git her tel
believe that it il rite ter fool the PEG
pie in politicks. She talks erbout git
tin a devorse every time I talk erbout
runnin' fer offs. She says frum my
talk she knows I'm willin' ter fool the
people if I kin. an she'd rather I'd bt
found guilty ov stealin' the Bible out
ov a church than ter know I'm doin
like Cleveland, Sherman, Ransom
Carlisle an the rest ov 'em. GUIDE Dyer
WHY NOT DEAL FAIRLY?