davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02

"We take pleasure in recommend
ing Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
because it 10 praised by all who try
it," says j. W. Cox & Son, drug
gists, Marshfeld, Oregon. No one
afflicted with q throat or lung trou.
bls can use this remedy without
praisingit it. Italways gives prompt
relief. II 10 especially valuable for
colds as it relieves the lungs, makes
breathing easier and aids expectora-
tios. A cold will never result in
pneumonia when this remedy 10
taken and reasonable care exercised.
For sale by Vim. r. Greenwell &
Son, Leonardtown; Jos. 8. Mat.
thews, Valley Lee and all country
STORES.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02

Two IRISH ANECDOTES An
Irish relation of mine found two
countrymen in the dusG. of the
highway. The uppermost was
.humping the beaten foe severely.
The newcomer cried "Let him
get up. IT'S a cowardly thing TO
hit a fellow when he's down."
The victor painted: eyer honor'd
never be after asking me to let him
np av ye knew the thrubble twas l
had to down him." The same
gentleman tells how he visited a
wild-beast show, and saw q coantry-
man come in bearing unmistakable
signs OF having had n glass too
much. A tiger scratched the back
Of the hand with which the man
grasped bar Of the cage. The la-
ceration WINS severe. and fhe pain
great. The sufferer danced about
and twirled his shellelagh, crying
"Let him out, let him out, till
have me will av him." A compan.
ion tried TO soothe the irate dancer
with this neat impromptu "Nev-
er mind, Pat. Sure, he only want
ed to scrape acquaintance wild ye :"
Westminster Gazette.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02

iety to be polite one is very otter
liable to slips Of the tongue which
may put an entirely different con.
struction upon the sentence than
was intended. For example, upon
arriving ut your entertainers house.
YOU say, Il beg q thousand pardons
for coming so late, and are met b,
your hostess with the words: my
dear sir. no psrdons are needed !:
You can never come too late.'
Take another instance. At an
evening party in Cork a lady said
to her partner, 'Can You tell me
who that exceedingly plain man is
sitting opposite to us?' That is
my brother oh. beg your par
don,' she replied. much confused.
i did not notice the resem blance. >
That was certainly putting ones
foot in it, and yet was perhaps not
so awkward as the following: After
a certain concert Q well know Ger
man cantstrice asked a gentleman
to whom she had been introduced
how he liked her duet. You sang
charmingly. madam. But why did
you select horrid piece of music?'
Sir. that was written by my late
husband! 'Ah. yes. of course. !
did not mean But why did you
select such an ass to sing With yoa:'
'Ach himmel, that is my present
husbandp
A lady said something the other
day at q friends dinner that found
mark the archer little meant. There
were several strangers present, and
in response to a remark made about
- certain lady Of u certain age, the
fair guest in question exclaimed,
Why, good gracious! she is as old
as the hills!' and could not imagine
in the least what had caused the
general CONSERVATION. She did
little later, however, when it was
explained to her that two maiden
sisters at the table, whose names
she did not catch in the introduc-
tion, we're called Hill, and were ex-
tremely sensitive on the subject of
age.
Here, my dear husband said
loving wife, Il have brought you o
little pig for luck. It's a charm,
you know, dear, to bring happiness
to q house,
'Ah. how kind of you, darlingl
But why should I need q little pig
to bring me luck when l have You
still?'
An awkward compliment recently
rather disturbed the harmony of
wedding breakfast given BY q sub
stantial farmer blessed with five
daughters, the eldest being the
bride. A ueighboring young far
mer, who was honored with an IN
vitatiou, thinking. no doubt, he
ought to say something smart and
complimentary upon the event. ad-
dressing the bridegroom, said Well,
you have the pick Of the batch
The countenances of the four un-
married ones may be imagined.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02

There's o tailors' strike on here,
isn't there? asked the stranger.
Sew it seams, replied the other
snsn-Chiusgu u)gibuus.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02
TEE MYSTERIOUS NOISES.

its haunted house, and the littl
native settlement Of Wando /,
India, was no exception. Here
number of English officers and thei
| families lived during the wsrme,
months. returning 20 their respec.
tive com mands later on.
The rumor that Captain Bean.
champs house was haunted wa,
circulated by a servants super.
stitious old Eaglishmau. Who had
followed the cant.in all over th.
world and was ali tb;rss coc.;a.r.
all. f..:.Ee.a .~.~:...s srr,-s--.
bad for soms d.xe e.r6 ca<;on.
s3ands 4Sout the bsose AL ;rst
he thought there were rats or mice
in the wall. He was awakened one
night BY most extraordinary noise.
The door. bell was ringing violentlv.
and a struggling writb;ng no;se in
the vail of the house-ro. in ono
place. but in severa, a. once Th;.
was followed by a comnl.te alliance
and m Thomas sa, mn IN haa ~.
hair threatening IN stand n, endh.
was posit;ve ha heard a ,ocgdrsw,
sigh. This was the las. fsa.bar
So ,eapipp from the coucb he yu.hsa
to bis EMPLOYERS room and aroused
him, avowinp that the n,sce was
haunted. and a few momsn.s ,a.e-
the entire household were in the
room.
Nov, your Honor said Thom.s
inst keen st;lI mou.n,, All
held their breath, and. sure enough.
there came a peculiar kissing sieh.
then another. The captain s.rnck
the wall a blov hu, ro,h;,. voc
heard. and a few momant. later
there came the same peculiar sigh
It's the wind Thomas aa;d tho
captain. .or nerbsns a h;o 20, hoe
ootten into n. wat, ;, &C., -,
But Thomas was ;ncrsdnlous and
left the room with the other. -
rusine To slsen there mak;no,n
bed upon the f3oor in tho hall Na.r
a v.l, 90. ha.,a f-ou H.
and h. 80, a .I -,
heard the .;oh r;n,t :. -
rhomas vas hsa,v f,;nh,o,oa "a
n tho r,uor h.o... -. ::
town that N. R..,oh.m. -.
mas bsrr,ea
The no,or;e,v an oha.n,r o..,oa
becama axosod;nr,v d;.....o.h,o
First came .,r.n..r. n..;.... ..a
otbers who s,ood n tront - a..
bouss dav and n;oh, ana looLoa >,
Il With vordor;no orr;o.;., c..
insisted upon going in and sn.,Iv
the owner Of the bouse tbrea,.ned
to sue the unfortunate tenant for
o;v;no tho r,.oo. . h.a 80. NJ.
ters stood in this shane for some
DAYS, when one morning n marty of
jugglers passed through the town
and finally reached the bannted
house. AS there were a npmher of
children in the family the perform.
ers were invited into the prounds
and gave an enterta;nmant Tree.
were made to grow blossom and
bear fruit before their vary sves.
children were broupht down from
the sky on ladders of silk. a mans
head was cut off and mora marvsI
ous things done that cou,d ha h..
Iieved possibIe Finale ...w;na
ing M. one Of the men took mt
small oval basket, having an orif;ce
in the ton. and seating bimself ns.r
il began TO plav n ona;nt air nnor
q flute.
After industriouslv plav;ng for :
few moments. mn through .hs hole
in the h.ska. cama ,hs h..a - ~.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02

| He came to Chicago to see ths
sights. aud in the afternoon van.
dered over by the County Hospital.
de needed no inspection to betray
he fact that he was from rural
parts, and carried an old yellow
valise. which looked as though il
sould melt il set in the rain. An
ne sauntered down Harrison street,
relates the Chicago Inter. Ocean, he
stopped in front Of young man
~ho stood on the steps OF q beard
ing-hcnse smoking q cigarette.
Say. Johnnie, said the rnralite.
shss,s Chat ere baildip' eser yon-
sHssrital. vas ths fepIy
Where they take sick people, I
s'poses'
Yes replied the young man, as
ne read upon the yellow valise the
names sf 'Silas Pugh, Pswpaw, Ind
What's all these other big build
ings!'
Mostly boarding houses for saw
bones
What's q 'sawbone:'
why a medical student--a doc
tor
Mast be nice place to live here
abouts.'
Nice enough. but it's as much
as your life's worth to 30 out after
night il you amt onto the ropes.
'fshaw! You don't say
YES continued the young man.
growing very confidential. You
see, there hasn't any paupers died
over to the pospital for long time,
and the sawbonss are getting hard
up for subjects. They've been hid
ing behind swill boxes and ash bar
rels every night now for a week,
and wherever a fellow comes along
that looks kind of sick they. just
Heck out like wolves and grab him.
Wig, just the other day a toan
came down the street walking with
y cane.
He looked like he had the con-
sumption and when he got opposite
the house over there two fellows
jumped out and nabbed him. Then
they dragged him behind that barn
over yoEder and shook dice for him.
The fellow came from somewhere
around Pawpaw, Indi-'
. But the farmer heard no more.
He sailed around the corner, and
tore up Wood street at break neck
speed. Not once did he look be.
hind, nor did he lessen his speed
until ne reached Oregon avenue,
where the young man saw him mop
the perspiration from his brow and
board an inbound horse car.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02
fHE CAPTAINS PRRIOIfIOI.

th.v.I,...
IA
n.,h I..a;.~ ss. y 80 =
al v;a.a. w. -. -,
..ns ~. A.. -.
had na..a,, v;,ha.. -.
the ma,.;, Ia -:
witbon. .;,h, - . -: ~
th. ..,.r.. -
| 30 of ma .n.ra;n. -. ,o -
of clo.b,ng .aa ,,s..;.;... -
.,ronne - .. -
Iinc - 81, 49, -
l.ls,< 80. 80 - :. - :. -
-; s.-...--:.1-., :
Ii u j . = Z t1'- ] u 80. - u
head of the col and ,-o ~,
were sent ahsaa - an, IN, -. =,
Of the land Thev fonnd ~. 49, !
o,,v vide .,onah -, a.. -.
lead;n. downw..a. "a -:
:. go.
tho o,oom h.,o.a ~ -.
from .ho h...aho 800
.kn,r;.d -. :: T' o
w.. e. -. ".''
,... r..I. '"'
| forw.xa .us :, -, '"'
hors.. - -. ....,e w,
their ,;d.r. h.a ..a :, :" A',
man whoso ,;uo. -. o
" "'s"" oo s""heu
No a.nasr .Ia. -.
aanoer Inrt;,,., -.
tho craeL o,ho 80 y
as ,hsv r.,rrnaa - .h',
the csn,.;n h.a 49,. n, a. ~.
lin. ;n..or;..,hoo-s - A''
a vo,t 60. -: -
and d.sbed ,h,ornh ,ha -.
There v.. g.. = ,';. go -:
tai, was dowr
.sk..-.ar, -h;.,,
sr., ....a r. -, ~, !.
81, -. '
,.;, =. a. -, "a "''
"a. .....I
-. 90, -, -s: A' :, "pe
~.
ri. h.na 80 WIN
o., . - ~, ","
..;a NC qu'e''s
..n. A..
La.n.. A.. .:,, ~ o.u
q, 81, n. anu.
sho,,, co...., - ~
n, .D;x;.,. Ie.a, ~ "
;n;n - ~. 49, -, "
r
tho ao-oo .,a I: o' -
,ho e.st a. 49,, ~ -
90 p'"'" "sa'"'
.ana ,,. .ho-..a. -. y '''ope'
:, %. =, sung
"Wb.t w.. 10 WI. y,
can,.;n 90. d., .,o ~.
ed from m., -
The o.n,.;n ..u .o.,
was oho,;nn =. ;...:
,hoso ...;.;. -
,;uo. ston. :; .; 'o'
a terrible ,rau.dr IT, ~ pe'e"s
and sona hn, - '''eu
looked haoL ov., 81. .h.,s w
o.v. ,ha I;o % ~. So. ~
No ono had ..an - "p''
had he.rd .nv,,;ns M:, ~ o"e
,bov fonna . ..f.. :. -, @
.,5 .ho g..
w;,hon, .;ah, as 'As.
tho mas. ,.h,. ,ho, -. .
tain for hack;nu on. - -.
and adding m;lss ~ n. ;..
oAu on .aoo... :.
vo,f p, ,a,shsa on.
"A,a..s..a I:
q. that % .ddaa . ...a.s
The ..n,.;n haa -.
h;m..lf =. wo.a.-aa :.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1896-04-02

wolf betrayed the ambush. The
train took another route and wa.
saved. For sn hour or more the
Indians watched and waited, none
daring to move for fear Of betray
ing his presence. At last all real.
ized that their game had escaped
from the trap. and sullenly and
noiselessly the 300 moved down Oh.
path, up the rise, into the cedars
where their ponies were herded !,
and without shout or curse or sound
to be heard 10 yards away shey
mounted and rode away, aud tn.
ridges hid them from view.-De-
troit Free Press.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30
CHAMPION MEAN MAN.


Z Discovery in virginia That Far Eellpses
All Previous Ones.
IT located the meanest man in the
world a few days ago." said travelling
man, according to the Washington
Star. II stopped at small Virginia
town, and, the hotel being crowded,
had to sleep in the room with another
man. I left call for an early morn
ing train, and when was awakened
found that my roommate had taken a
still earlier train. / also discovered
that he had taken my trousers, in the
pockrta Of which were about $50. I
complained about 1t to the hotel and
the clerk said the man was horse
buyer, and it would be made all right,
20 took the train to a town about
100 miles distant. On the train ex-
smined the pockets Of the trousers /
had on and found a wallet containing
5000. / telegraphed the real owner
at once, saying ! would return them,
which I did, not paying the express
charges, as was out of funds, he llav-
ing all my money. After two days,
during which I wore borrowed trous-
ers, J received mine with express
charges unpaid and c. o. D. bill at
itaehed for rs cents he had paid on his
own. borrowed the money and got
The package, but If there is prize at.
taehed to the discovery Of the meanest
nan IN the world, / wantit."
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30
Anysopy CAN AFFoRDA GRAVE
Esxiean Cemstery In Which Resting
Plaee Can Be Had Mt Small Cost.

Esztean Cemetery In Which Resting
Plaee Can Be Had Mt Small Cost.
A correspondent Of the Boston Trav-
eler describes the queer cemetery Of
the Mexican city of Gusnajuato.
There Ia hardly room in Guanajuato for
the living, 80 it behooves the people to
exercises rigid economy in the disposi-
tion of her dead. The burial place is on
the top of o steep hill, which overlooks
the city and consists OF area inclosed
by what appears from the outside to
DO o high wall, but which discovers itr
self from within To be a receptacle for
bodies, which ARE placed In tiers,
much as the confines of their native val
;cys compel them to live. lEaclrapart-
ment in the wall is large enough to ad-
NIT one coffin, and is rented for 81 per
month. The poor people are buried in
the ground without the formality Of a
conn. though one is usually rented in
which the body is conveyed to the
grave. Az there are not graves enough
% go round, whenever new one is
needed previous tenant must be dis
turbed, and this likewise happens when
. tenants rent is not promptly paid in
advance. The body is then removed
ftpm its place in the mausoleum or ex-
shumed. az the case may be, and the
bones are thrown into the basement be-,
low.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30
WHAT FAST SKATERS REQUIRE.


Phyaleai Needs of Those Who Desire to
Excel In Ice Racing.
The typical speed skater has short
body, capacious, round chest, with
well-developed back; his thighs are
strong and very long, as are also his
lega. His feet are large and fiat. His
weak points nre his calves, due to the
long, fat skate to which his tiattened
foot Is 30 closely bound. The large mus
clcs Of his chest are not exercised, and
his arms, held lying idly along his
back, are unused except in an OCCASION
a spurt, when they are brought down
and swung straight from the shoulder.
They say that they catch less wind
held that way, and that the position
10 restful to the tense extensors of the
back. This is, no doubt, true, says
Popular Science Monthly, but the re-
suit is disastrous to symmetrical devel-
opment This type Of figure is seen at
its best in such skaters as the Dona-
hues, Mccormick, the old.time profess
sional, who still skates q fast race, al
though now 40 years Of age, and in
Wilson Breen, professional, who has
been winner Of much gold and glory
by means Of his long legs and power
full thighs. The conclusion that speed
skating alone is not good exercise
to develop q well-built, symmetrical
man will be patent to anyone who re-
views the facts. Ifindulged in it should
be, as done by McCulloch, in conjunc-
tion with other forms of athletics which
bring into action the muscles of the
orr, CALF aho,,ltlaru rnd srhert
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30
PLANTS THAT GO lNToArRANcE
EassssA Man Invents = Plan for Arresting
Vegetation.

Eastern Man Invents y Plan for Arresting
Vegetation.
A curious exhibit is made at the Me-
chanics' fair. 1t is nothing more nor
less than 4 display Of ''mummilied''
plants. It requires label to inform
the people that they are dead, says the
Boston Transcript for the plants APP
pear exactly as if alive and growing
They are not made of wax, or of cloth,
but are genuine plants thathave grown
in the earth until they have reached a
good state Of development, when, by
their being treated to q certain injec-
tion, the growth is arrested. Then
comes the strange part, for the plants
so treated do not droop and die, the
leaves remain fresh and bright, and the
plant stands erect. It is, moreover,
impervious to heat and cold, and moth
ing seems able to destroy its strange
repose. The most striking part of the
exhibit is collection of large palms
used for decorating. These plants are
noted for being very tender and sus-
ceptible to almost every influence.
Those on exhibition have been dead for
ak months, yet not even when the
leaves are carefully examined would
tho fact be suspected. The exhibit
promises to create much interest
emong visitors to the fair, as the many
advantages of having plants thus i'm
pervious to all conditions can be readily
seen. The credit Of providing the ex-
hibit belongs to New Hampshire man,
who discovered the process of treating
che plants.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

You have nice children, you know,
and nothing pleases them better than
nice nobby suit Of clothes that keeps
them warm and healthy. Baker hat
them and for hut little money, Can
you stand Sl.0O for u suit Of clothes, er
up to $500? All these low prices you
will find at Hiram Bakers.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30
The Messengers vlsw Of Hapss isssuss

The MESSENGERS View q Hsnsa AassFs.
A telegraph messenger probably sees
as much OF the other side OF human na-
ture as a doctor. One told the writer
OF this recently that women never
opened a telegram without turning
pale, and, when the message was not
alarming, they looked disappointed.
he delivers about two death messages
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

The EXPRESS from now until July
1st for only 25 cents.
New subscriptions for the Weekly
Oregonian taken at this Office,
The opening chapters Of an interest
ing serial story will appear In this
parer soon.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

Young man, you are thinking some
thing about your sweetheart, and you
will want to look nice when In her
presence, so buy the latest styles oil
clothing at Bakers. He has the pricse
way down to suit your reedy cash.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

"Clarenee,n story by America's
great novelist, Bret Harte, will BE-
published in this paper, commencing
soon. Those who are mot subscribers
of the EXPRESS should send In then
subscriptions now, and thus have the
reading of this interesting story. &
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

Measure your rooms accurately aud
bring size in feet and inches with you
1t costs you nothing to have your car.
pets sewed by hand by the Albany
Furniture Co, Albany, Oregon.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

6ome idea Of the terrific force with
which bind posses through the air may
be gained from the fact that short
line ago common curlew flew right
through o piece OF plate glass quarter
u on inch thick ct TlFpbssry light.
ssaAh AtHtsisa
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

Ladies', I invite your attention to
my new and extensive line Of flowers,
fancy straws and beautiful ribbons.
Opening day about the firstof Aprii.
Miss A. DuMDND
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

The most complete, modern, ele'
gantly equipped and perfectly arranged
VestiI uled Trauscontinental Train Ia
America. New Equipment, especizlly
designed and built for this service. II
Direct connections in New Or.
leans for Eastern points. Quick
time.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30

Thourough preparation for
all collegiate courses.
Certificates admit to the
leading Colleges on the coast.
Normal Department gradu-
ates obtain State and Life di-
plomas. Music, Art, Book
keeping. Specialties, health
and outdoor life, small clas-
ses and instruction for the in
dividual.
Winter term opens Sept %.
Tuition $3.50 and $1,000 per
term. Send for catalogue.
s. A. RANDLE, A, NJ
Principal.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1896-04-30


Shoes away down-quality ouo,
--at the closing out sale Of Reod pe'
cock d Co, '"
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-06-14

viii grow u 81 the prices go up a Iitue
higher. 10 make the crop pay. Ihey
oDcnly thank Wcyler for his edict. Ihey
think that when It is removed tho de-
mand will be for home tobacco without
doubt Be that as it may. there certainly
Is good tobacco near home.
There il a tobacco known as "clmmer.'
II is a very good medium tobacco. one
liked for every day smoking. IL Is not a
brand. but rather condition. II is the
medium. not very git-edgcd. nor at all
low-class Just for regular. everyday
wear. This tobacco IS raised In great
quantities in Ohio. Wisconsin and Massa-
chusctts. They call II the Spanish cim-
mor."
In Ohio Il brings IS cents per pound.
In Wisconsin IL brings 8 cents n pouhd.
and In the other States about the same
This tobacco tho manufacturers handle
with wink m yin. IL IS 81 very much
Ike the Spanish. they say.
Said ono OF them: Perhaps We do not
say openly this IS Spanish tobacco But
II a. man ricks one OF the cimmcr Spanish
from Ohio up and says; That's a good
Havana. give &C. 10 me- why We are not
the men 20 say that cigar has never been
any further away than Ohio. Now. are
we But. 70 come 10 the point OF It, !
can't ten Ohio cimmer from Havana nor
Wisconsin from Cuban
TIED-UP TOBACCO.
There is a very good supply OF Spanish
.o1,ncco now i'm this country. not yet taken
ON, ~ the custom-house. Two hundred
thoueand bales are there. each bale
weighing 10 pounds. which makes some