The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-11-01

both shall be strewn with evergreen and
flowers. While my body is borne to the
church the best orchestra procurable shall
play Chopins watzes. My body shall be
dressed in my best dress suit and placed
in a coffin lined with scarlet The coffin
shall be borne by twelve maidens dressed
in green. The clergyman shall be attenc-
ed by torch-bearers, and all shall join III
singing the pleasantest and gayest music
at my grave.
IAN of my property is to go to that
one of my relatives who shall be the
gayest at my funeral. If two or more
shall claim it. the matter shall be SUBJ
mitted to vote, each person attending my
funeral to have one vote"
A devout English spinster had quite diff
ferent ideas regarding funerals, as is
shown by clause in her will: Shocked by
the irreverent manner of the clergy who
from continual familiarity with funerals
= nave come to regard them in too matter
OF course manner, l hereby direct that
any ecclesiastic who shall dare to so
much as smile at my funeral shall be ex-
cluded from any share in the large sum
leave to their chapter at st. Ives"
Every ecclesiastic of the chapter was in
attendance at the ceremony They had
all expressed the greatest resentment at
the rebuke given by the testator, though
all were pleased with the generous legacy
left them Scarcely, however, had the
funeral procession started when each
priest turned to look at his neighbor, and
each recollecting the singular clause be-
gan to smile; presently their minds tickled
the whole of them and soon was broad
grin on every countenance.
DR.. Gottlieb of Berlin left his property
to be equally distributed among seven of
his nephewS, provided none of them should
attend his funeral. One of the nephews
disregarded the directions and followed
the corpse to the grave.
Upon his return home he was rewarded
by the information that his uncle had left
all of his property to that one of his
nephews who should disregard his will
and attend the funeral. This last provis-
ion was made by codicil, which was not
made known by the attorney until the
proper time.
Many people are most anxious that the
resting place of their body shall be known
for all time; few are equally anxious for
their remains to be instantly lost. A Kan
sas farmer desired his body to be buried
in a ten-acre cornfield, and the whole
field to be plowed over as soon as the
grave was filled up.
One of the most distinguished surgeons
of Paris bequeathed his body to a hospital
board for dissection, and ordered that the
remains be placed in a deadlock and
thrown into the Seine
A Boston lady desired that all of her
property might be employed in building
church in her native city, but stipulated
that her remains should be mixed up in
the mortar used for fixing the first stone
AS the good lady did not leave enough
property to pay the expense of an ordinary
burial, her relatives had her inferred in the
customary manner.
An English nobleman requested that
my body be not coffined, but swathed in
any coarse stuff, and then buried in any
fertile meadow. The ground shall then
be planted with acorns, SO that may rener
a last service to my country by nourishing
some good English oaks
Mrs. Halstead of Cincinnati, who was a
leader in society there, but very eccen-
trio and about some things exceedingly
parsimonious, desired that at her funeral
mo useless inventions intended to swell
the grief of the survivors shall be used:
for my desire is for no grotesque parapher-
MALTA, but to be buried quietly and decent
ly."
There is probably only one man in the
world who can truthfully claim TO have
officiated at the funeral of persons who
died before he was born. In 1913 Mrs
Chambers of Birmingham, lost two chill
dren. She obtained permission to have
them kept In room in her house devoted
solely to that purpose. They were en-
balmed and very carefully cared for until
the death OF Mrs Chambers, nearly half
century later. At that time the two
children were buried by the side of their
mother. The officiating clergyman was
then young man, and is still living.
-Edith-Is 1t true that one has to kiss
the Bible when one takes an oath in
court?'
Aunt Margin some states, believe"
Edith-'"rhen that's what Harry Prince
must have meant when he said he knew
me like book. He wanted to kiss me-
Boston Transcript.