The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1896-11-27

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required to write it ont in full. is tO
cast a Slur upon the sentiment express
ed by that word. 1t is almost the
same as saving either that the attec.
| ton of the writer is worth very little
or that the person whom he addresses
is of small Importance. In the one
case there is breach of self-respect,
and i'm the other there is a breach OF
respect for others: and upon these two
sentiments good manners are based.
These may seem to be small matters,
and so they are to the intellect: but
we are all governed and ought to bt
governed chiefly by our feelings. Good
manners are the expression, not O
ideas, but of feelings; and the feelings
are infinitely more subtle than the in
tellect How common it is for one tC
receive pleasure or pain from the man
ners of his neighbOrs, and yet he una
bile to explain even to himself exactly
why or how this result is produced
There are thousand forms and de
grees of kindness, and as many of con
tempt or insult which are expressed
in manners, but which language can.
not set down or describe with any ap.
proach to accuracy. The importance
of good manners, is, therefore, rather
to he felt than to he stated: and We
are in danger of Understanding them
because the intellect is so much less
subtle and less sensitive than the feel
ings; and it is the intellect which
Judges when one makes up his mind, as
we say. The more civilized, the more
highly trained and educated, a man
becomes. the more numerous and the
more complex are the feelings and
shades of feelings which he is able to
express by manner. However, these
reflections are, perhaps, a slight di-
gression from our subject, the moral
Importance of good manners. This
is seen almost clearly in the relation OF
| the sexes. Fine manners, it has been
said, never yet kept the world virtu-
our, and this is true; but they have
gone long way towards preserving
virtue. 1t is the first step, we are
told, which counts. A young woman
who has good manners-manners
founded upon selfrespcct-look upon
that first step with horror; to do so is
a part of her inheritance. She will
hardly take the first step; hardly per-
nit any familiarity until she is ready
to take the last step. read lately,
in the course of some testimony re-
ported in divorce ease, that, i'm com
pany of men and women at supper,
most, if not all. of them being married
people, one man kissed the woman who
sat next to him, and told the other to
''pass it along" which they did, until
every one at the table had kissed and
been kissed. They were ''church" peo-
| pie, to use their own language, and the
minister was one of them. 1t was he,
in fact, who figured as plaintiff or de-
fendant in the divorce suit which sub
sequently occurred. What else but
scandals and divorce suits could be
expected of a circle in which self-rcs-
pect and good manners were at so low
an ebb
But, it might be objected, scandals
and divorce suits are the very things
which occur in what is called the "best," :"
the most fashionable society, both here
and in England. This is true. In all
countries where wealth acclmulates.
and it becomes possible for some per-
sons to live in idleness and luxury
there will be found among them a
small class, having, in most respects,
good manners, and yet being far from
virtuous. This, | admit, is true: but
as to such people it may be said their
good manners obviously spring, not
from their vices, but from their vir-
tues, indeed, NOTABLY the sense of
honor, directly connected with
good manners. Moreover, their good
manners are usually inherited from
more virtuOus ancestors. 1t is impos-
sihle that such people should develop
good manners. On the contrary, we
see that among them precisely the OPP
posite is taking place; their manners,
though still good in many respects, are
in Il state of decadencc The most
fashionable people in New York and
places, ar noisy and ostentatious to
the point of vuIgarity. The more we
examine the subject, the more clear it
becomes that there is vital connection
between selfrespect and good manners;
that good manners depend on respect
for ones self and regard for others, and
that they have very little to do with
the intellect. 1t is remarkable how
small is the part which the intellect
plays in making men either good or
happy. If it were otherwise, there
would be an immense injustice in the
scheme of the world, for great talents
and much learning must always be con-
fined to few. Good manners, on the
other hand, might he the possession,
not only of the few, but of the many.
There are no physical impossibilities
in the way. We may be sure that the
Lord intended them to be universal
possessions; and if, among us, they fall
far short Of that, there must be some
great defect in our social organization.