The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-06-01
UNDER FIRE.
"What class. sir?"

The porter deposited my gun ana
cartridge cases on the rack and my
dressing bag On the seat in the corner
and accepted his sixpence with the II
chalance of a man who, on q Saturday
afternoon in holiday time, can make
plenty more of them.
From Charing Cross to Cannon street
| had my compartment to myself. Hav-
ing reached that point, it was invaded
by a horde of the type generally referred
to as ones fellow creatures. The
aristOcrat of the party was a clerk on
his way to Ramsgate for a week. he
proceeded to fill and light a brier wood
pipe. AS he was sitting at the other end
of the carriage and was smoking a fra
grant tobacco from far Virginia, neither
felt nor made any objection to his doing
so. 1t was a different matter when a
gentleman Of an obliging familiarity Of
joined US at London bridge, car
rying q clay pipe charged with the
blacklist and most pungent of shag.
Now the close proximity of a smoker
Of shag is a very abominable thing, and
it was for the sake Of avoiding it on a
journey Of some three hours duration
hat l had resolved to forego the com-
partnership Of my W pipe for that
length of time and had sought the Sc
clusion of anonsnoking carriage, where
a possible baby would be my sole an
noyance. Consequently, when my
neighbor, after o decent interval, RAM
med a horny forefinger into the bowl of
his pipe, and, producing a dirty wax
match from his waistcoat pocket, pro-
ceeded to light up, I addressed a polite
and carefully worded remonstrance to
him.
I'm afraid this isn't q smoking car
riage," l said. He looked at ME.
"Oh, isn't it," he said.
ono"
"Do yer object them"
II don't object TO it on the other side
Of the carriage" l said, but l do OBJ
ject as you are sitting mex to me-
And who want to sit next to yer,
ugly" he inquired, with rising asper-
ity. Yer amt a female, are yer, to
object to a little bit O. baccy? It's a
pity yer didn't get into a fust class car
rage
Its a pity You didn't get into a
smoking carriage if you wanted to
smoke" retorted. "At any rate you re
not going to smoke here"
Hi assure yer, my lord" he said,
with laborious suavity, "hi don't want
ter sit next t'yer. Hi shed be sorry to
contaminate my morals by such q con-
ventuality, and he moved over to the
opposite seat in the middle of the car
riage.
IN tell yer wot I'll d." he pur-
sued. IN put out my pipe, SO there
now" He did SO and restored it to his
pocket with the air of a man who has
scored heavily. Then he leaned toward
me with his elbows ON his knees and
took me in with a whitening glance
from head to foot.
Hand may l harsk wot yore persi-
ton in life may be-" he inquired.
Hare yer a socialist or a numbug, or
wot are yer? Do yer teach in the Sun
day school? P'r'aps yer'd like a glarss
O milk Note the decreasing respecta-
bility Of the ~employments suggested as
his scorn ripened. 'Wot dyer want to
prevent a respectable man enjoying of
is pipe for: l tell yer wot yer oughter
done. Yer oughter taken a special train,
yer ought. That's ter say" he added,
with great deliberation and intense dis
dain, IF yer could afford it, yer know.
I don't serpoose they pays very Ugh in
the establishment wot commands yore
services" He was quite right. They dc
not.
At this point, perceiving that I was
in for a protracted harangue, l took uI
my Pail Mall Gazette and feigned al
absorbing interest in its contents. l die
it rather we'll. l ran my eye along the
lines, l turned over a page, and even al
lowed q smile to curl my lips at an en-
tirely imaginary joke.
That's right" commented my as
sailant. Il am glad they taught yer t.
read at the board school. Yer go on ant
yer'n be uble to read The st. Jane
Gazette SOON" The point Of this latte,
sarcasm is not yet plain to me, but tn
fact Of my so ostentatiously ignoring hi
SoA'SAoosAoh pioNcu Huite ds lEiitdtiu
as had hoped. He gathered himself to
gether for "a fresh attack, and addresse,
me for about The space of a quarter o
an hour III a manner not at all abusive
but quite unfettered by any reticence O
criticism. He took in all my wea.
points and a~nimadverted on them care
fully but freely.
He began with my personal appear
ance. Ny best friends have never Gale
me good looking, although they hav
eve told me that ! was positively RI
pulsive. He did. He went further. II
said 1t made him sick to look at me, i
Illustrating his point with an embarrasl
ing realism. He said that they had lat,
~ missed y chimpanzee from the 10.
logical gardens and expressed his inter
ton Of giving information at the ne,