The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1896-04-19
LAMENTS FOR FREE LUNCH
VERSES M ONE OF THB VICTIMS
OF THE RAINEs LAW.

Ht was Eisis's Duty ne Free Lunch Detss-
tive st Aaay Hern's 90 auard che Lunch
Cous,sr Asainst Attacks by Too Hun.
ery C-stomers-Now His DOB IL Gone
sad re H Busy writing Poetry.
The occupation Of Elsie. the former free.
lunch detective In Andy Horns saloon in Park
row, vanished with the advent Of the Ralnes
law, and ever since the day that the free lunch
was abolished he has been writing what ne
calls poetry. The free.lunch detective was
called Elsie because his real name-Alois-
was unpronounceable by the frequenters OF tins
place. He used to be q prosperous glassware
merchant, but as most Of his trade was with
barrooms, necessitating considerable libations
on his part, his prosperity did not last many
| years. He finally secured the Job of guarding
the free lunch. In return for which he received
a stated number Of schooners q day. with
| enough small change for n bed at night and
| the privilege Of Sitting the sawdust for nickels
and dimes that dropped outside the bar,
Az the free lunch was displayed near the
door. and the hugo piles OF corned beer, ham.
frankfurters and sauerkraut. potato salad,
picked cabbage, bologna. and swiss cheese
formed temntlng attractions for certain i'm
pecunious individuals who accepted free lunch
in all that the term implies, IL was very es-
seutlal that a man Of discrimination should
be chosen to guard IL. Elsie, with his practi-
cal expe Renee, was doomed fully coinpetcnt
for the Job, ana for years he kept faithful
guard, bouncing the aforesaid impecunious in.
dividuals whenever they attempted TO regalo
themselves without having patronized the bar.
Elsie's sense of discrimination was appealed
TO when a hungry customer would enter the
saloon, Stake his thirst with one schooner ot
beer. and then endeavor to get the full worth OF
his nickel by making q square meal at the
lunch counter. After the man had eaten ono
or two sandwiches, accompanied by samples
If the relishes, Elsie would sidlc up. and as the
free lunch fend made for his third sandwich.
the detective would crowd him out of the way.
pretending that he wanted a sandwich for him.
self. Ordinarily the fend would content
himself with q glare at the detective and move
off. Sometimes he would buy another schoon.
err, but this would entitle him to a CORE.
spending amount of lunch. which he could
take without Interference.
Occasionally. however. a persistent fend
would present himself. and when Elsie crowd
ed he would crowd back, and the result would
be q SCRAP. which always ended with tho
bouncing of the hend. even though Elsie did
receive a black eye or q bloody nose. Such
trihes never bothered Elsie. 1t only made his
appearance more ferocious. and one glance
from Elsie with his eye DECORATED was spGi-
cient to scare away q tiend. When the police
dian chief. who expressed his grief by saying:
The fe'1 free "i iun;h dotteetkfve found himself
Looked out ia the street at , o'clock a.; n
started. of toward the Bowery. He succeeded
in finding a PLACE where he could get drinks.
Ing, as he sfterward said. quite a iag. The fol.
lowing night he appeared at ,Andy's with the
remnants OF his Jag and a roll OF paper under
Was hast du da2" inquired Lieut.. .Hartuns,
lately OF the German army, but now bartender
We'll. der Frnhlingzeit Is here and I'm now
LET me see" said the Lieutenant.
was sLa arun nlTa aad ! them Hsnt / pr ta and ds ssnaasd w Snsh
wrSte on paper. II YOU give me a Schooner I
will show them to you.
The bargain was made and Elsie's poems
were spread out on the bar.
Now we shall miss tho howin' bowl.
The nowtn' bowl has flown The coop.
This was Elsie's first effort, and the Liss-
tenant grinned.
sing a song Of n'pencs
Papa has his Iittie nask
2 And takes Il on the sly.
swell. that's, pretty tough. Are they N
like "N shat Hep nsse q s r6e t oSets snid the s.-ast.o.
tive, pulling OUT one Of the slips.
Wen eat grass in tn summer, said the big frss
TIL cheese viii no. waltz any more wild tn. ham,
When ] went down to Andy's me case TO make
H He tG GnIr %s' .S bsse CT forks he h s4s one s,f s OF his avn Wit. rms,
When a mans got no money, sure. no can't get no
trust.
But what will we do when the cold winds do blowf
Well have to eat snowballs, Wen have to eat snow.
This one tickled the Lieutenant. and he ses
another schooner.
Have you any moro like THAR" he asked.
Yes. here's another good one." said the ex.
LIS farewell and T. hell
To tn luncheon so swell,
T. hell wild tn fellow that chased It.
No bunchin' and munchin',
And %a-nghting for luncheon,
No more Will the regulars taste 10.
That's better. Got any more?"
yep; here's an Irish one"
Donahue and McCue
KEN from red Waterloo
An Fritz Won der Snitz from tn Rhins.
Wild tn Floods and McPuds
Who ate .Andy's spuds,
An Malone an McKeon and o'Brien.
The old Bridge gang,
With their chat and their slang,
The Reubens from old Haokensack,
The Peil street Chinee and the big rortygsA
To their homes every one has gone back.
And here is q German one" said the ex.ds-
VIII nisluapi tliaksE,
SO trink aber ich;
Bier oder vein
Allies schmeckt INNER fem.
We'll, Elsie. that's enough. You can have
the poemsf'
I'm going TO sell them 10 some OF my news.
paper friends" said the ex.detective, as he
staggered out OF the door and wandered toward
Printing House square.