The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1896-05-09
SEAC0W STUDIES: BY W. L.
BETsEF INTERESTS THE PARK
4 nOlRD'S sECRETARY.

and wouid surely Laugh " she Under-
stood Parono mns sin Theories Upon the
Duties OF " Sea Cows Foster Father.
Few OF Mr.. William Leary's friends know
that he Ia a scientific man OF great originality
and ability in research. To the majority OF per-
sons he Ia known simply AZ the suave and diplo-
matte Secretary of the Park Board. The fact
IL, however, that he Is n deep student OF natural
history. and to his credit are placed some sin
gular discoveries in this realm. IL was Mr..
Leary who first discovered Johanna's epistolnry
ability. and tho political potentialitles dormant
beneath the placid exterior of Mr.. Sol Borllner.
Whenever anything strange or weird or new In
the way Of living things turns up. Mr.. Lenry
begins to study II with passionate interest, and
never gives over his studies until he has mas
tered the nmosts secrets OF its soul. At present
he Is at work upon Botsey. the new sea COW Mt
the Central Park menageric.
Betsey Is Just the sort OF u creature that most
appeals to Mr.. Lenry, because very little Is
known of her species. She was caught In the
mouth of the st. Lucio River In Florida last
Christmas and brought up here by ship. arriving
on Wednesday, since which time she has been
living In a somewhat contracted tank. She has
what might perhaps DO called an interesting
face, but could never be called a pretty one. and
she weighs 1900 pounds. In disposition she
appears to DO letharGic, and she has thus far
failed to evince any enthusiasm about anything
except Mr.. Leaiy, to whom she took an instant
fancy. For the purpose OF finding out more
than has ever been written In scientific books
about the sea COW. or manatee, as IL Is also
called. a Sun reporter called on the Secretary of
the Park Board yesterday and found him in
earnest conversation with a piebald product OF
Yonkers civilization who. having read OF the
purchase OF the sea COW. was impressed with
the idea that the Park Board was collecting
freaks, and so had come down to see II he
couldn't do q stroke CT business. To him Mr..
Leary was saying with considerable emphasis:
No; I tell you I don't want to buy q pink cat.
What the devil do l want of a pink cat? DO
you suppose we've got white mice running
around here to be caught? What's that? Two
tails! My dear man. don't care IL she's got
forty tails. You can't sell her to me. Hen ? Who
said hen Crows. does it2 / don't care IL 1t
chortles. No, no: no. | tell you. The Park Board
doesn't want It. You can make more money by
going home and persuading that hen to let up
Growing and go to laying eggs than you can try
ing TO sell her to me. What's that? Pig2 oh.
Je~hoshaphat! Look here, the best educated pig
on earth wouldn't interest me. Why, know q
pig that can play Chopin's nocturnes on the
piano and do fancy embroideries in a way to
astonish you. and I refused that pig as q gift. l
don't like pigs. They're not com panionable.
Did you say good-by? Yes: sorry you couldn't
60 sooner. Yes. yes; I'll let you know III ever
Ieel myself IN neeu OF n reu-neaQeu squirrel.
Good-by. Now. then. sir. what can I do for
you?"
There was a shade OF annoyance on the good
humored .ountenance Of Mr.. Leary. but 1t was
chased away by u beaming smile as the Sun
reporter. to whom he had turned. with his ques.
ton, said:
Il came to ask you something about the sea
cow"
"Oh. the manatee. Ell ?" said the Secretary.
Jx-.tt hama r.,-a - ..l
ject for your paper. You notice l say manatce
and not sea COW. DO you know why | don't say
sea COW 2"
AS Mr.. Leary's voice had sunk to a mysterious
murmur. the reporter hastcned to assure him
that the reason for his not saying sea COW was
quite incomprehensible.
because she isn't a sea cow
"You don't say So" said the reporter, much
awed.
Yes. sir. Young man, let me tell you some
thing that will surprise you. Thnt animal is n
sea calf. or. to be more accurate. a sen heifcr.'
"Now. how did you find that out 2" asked the
reporter.
Analogy. sir, analogy" said the Secretary
proudly. II reasoned it out. Ideduced it. so TO
speak. and IL You have read DR.. Conan Doyle's
books you will know that with a little practice
an able deductor can look at the peg where n
man hung his last years straw hat aud deduce
the mans whole family history for three gem
erations in either direction. haven't got that
far yet. but l made n most successful deduction
In this case. You'd better take this down. for
tho reasoning is very exact, and II you miss a
step the whole result will he incorrect. Now.
are you ready? Very we'll; here Is IA sea COW.
II isn't II sea cow. as / shall prove. but Wen sup
pose it's n sea COW. Now let US suppose 1t was a
land cow. II II was a land COW It would have
horns. wouldn't III But II hasn't got any
horns. Now what's n land COW that hasn't got
any hornsr It's a calf. Therefore. a sea COW
,hnt hnon't unf nuNE horne IA IN uan Gale rhar.Es |
your whole process all done. +. L. O.. as they
cay in arithmetic
Isn't NJ" cried the demonstrators. You've
studied geometry. haven't you? Well, IL that
was done with lines and curves and as and Ms
they'd call 1t a pons asinorum or some Latin
th !R:Suctlo ad absuraum,r suggested III. re-
YES. that's Just as good" agreed Mr.. Lesry.
Tin watching that sea calf for its horns to
Ills pretty y biz for 4 a Ca calf" 81. s%rg 9sso;fat the .,r re;
Moolley COWS don't have any, horns."
Gosh! | never thought OF that. When I get
time III hire n phrenOlogist to 90 over Betsey's
head and see II there aren't prospects of a horn
What arrangements have you made for
"Ideducted that. too. That was easy. same
process. II O land cow eats land grass n sea
COW eats sea grass. I've got a lot Of the finest
lawn seed planted In that big tank where the
DO you suppose itll grow under water ~
asked the reporter.
It'll have To grow under water If it's going
TO grow at ALL. said Mr.. Leary with decision,
because It's sunk, and 1t isn't going to get up
again. w hen II gets grown I'll have a diver
NOW it for Betsey. Kind OF sub-mow-rine work,
eh p
The reporter hastily changed the subject by
asking III Betsey had q good appetite.
Say. she has an appetite, that 1t would do
mouth wave when she feels like eating, and
they're waving most all the time. We gave her
some water weeds the other day and she took
'em down In great shape. When It comes to
eating | can sympathize with her. I'm a pretty
good man-at.tea myself. Man-at-teA, manatee.
See 2"
The reporter said he saw.
Well, you needn't look 80 sick over it," re-
sumed MIR. Leary in an offended tone. THAT
Amt in it with some Jokes l know. There's one
s"Does the manatee sleep we'll ?" asked the re-
porter.
"A shade OF trouble crossed Mr.. Loary's ex-
pressivo features.
That's been botherinE me-" he admitted