davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
The Postmaster Was Peart.

clock a-yere, said the justice of the
peace after reading my letter of intro
duction and putting on his hat to go to
the postoffice with me, ''ar' yo' really
expectin any mail?''
Eyes; three or four letters, p" Ireplied.
Letters of Importance"
eyes, quite important. "
"Waal, I hope it'll be Dams good
natured day."
''And who is DAMP I asked.
why, he's the postmaster-Dan
Scotland he's a leetle high strung,
specially when he don't feel jest right. -
''But can't see what his being high
strung has to do with my mail -
Cant 20? WAL, then I'll tell yo'.
IF Dams feelin o'nery when yo' ak him
fur yo' mail, he'll tell yo' it's none O.
yo'r bizness whether anything has come
or not.
'Does he run the postofice to suit
himself:''
HE does. sab, aud anybody who
don't like it kin say so. As soon as they
begin to say SO, however, he begins TO
shoot.
but should think you'd have him
bounced
Cant do it. sab. We've got up five
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

ed at the gate. It was a runnin tight,
with my bulldog mixed in occasionally.
but they finally got into the buggy and
started off. The boss was excited, and
when they started, he run away. Before
he had gone so rods he smashed the
buggy and throwed the felle-s out and
the last we seen of 'em they was hmpin
across the fields. I don It know where the
boss is, but somebody probably picked
him up, while the buggy is in my barn.
yard. IF you run across reporter you
kin give him the story and he kin say
at the end of it that most of the farmers
up our way keep their hayseed in bin
in the barn and don't powder their hair
with it more'n once month. M.
Quad in Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
Left In the Lurch.

On West Shore ferrybcat man with
bundle bumped against me as we en-
tered the cabin and again as we crowd
ed toward the end of the boat 1t was
mere trifle, for which he was quick to
apologize, and I did not give it thought
for a moment. Five minutes later
tough looking fellow asked me for
match to light his pipe. I happened to
have one ard very bad cigar as we'll,
and as passed them over to him he
broke out with:
CHOW, then, you're no jayi You
knows bloomin gent when you meets
him. What kin I do fur you?''
"Oh. nothing. Hope you'll enjoy the
cigar
"Bound to, old man. You are a gen.
tleman, You are.''
eyes,
"'And I'm the same. It's two of
kind. See?''
eyes,
''Want me to punch anybody's head
fur yep
ono"
ST seed bloke bump ye in the back
wild a bundle, and den hears him blow
at ye fur SLOUGH. -
'tOh. no. 1t was an accident, and he
apologized.
"Say. Gully, he meant to bump ye,
and I'll take me dyin oath he gin ye
sass. I'll go and punch his eyebrows.
''Don't do it. He's all right.
''Got to, Gully. When a man treats
me like a gentleman, 1 must treat him
de same way. Where's de Juneberry
wild de bundle?''
I tried to stop him, but he went his
way and hunted up the poor fellow and
biffed him on the ear. He was arrested
at once, and as he was taken from the
beat on the Jersey side he looked back
and tried to pick me out and shouted:
"He was a gentleman, and I'm a
gentleman, and he'll cum along to dc
station and put up fur me bail and
lawyer. -
But I didn't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
He Read the Papers.

eff you hear of anybody who's lost a
buggy, just send 'em in to me-" said a
Macomb county farmer to policeman
day or two ago.
''Have you found a buggy up your
way?" asked the officer.
eyes, hev a buggy with smashed
wheel. and I guess somebody along the
road has horse and harness. About a
week ago couple of fellers come along
and wanted to buy my farm. put the
figgers at $1,000 more'n she's worth,
and they planked down SO to bind the
bargain. Next day two others como along
and wanted to buy me out. When they
heard I'd sold, they offered me So, coo
more'n the other chaps had agreed to
pay. That put me on to their little game
and was ready fur the first two chaps
when they come back. They said they
were willing to pay the price agreed, but
if I wanted to take the So, 900 more
they'd let me off fur $500 cash down. +"
"That's an old game, - said the Off
Ger. give seen it exposed several
times"
eve read of it in the papers three or
four times myself, - chuck1ed the farm
er. "and was on TO 'eDn like load of
brick. We were ont in the barn when
they made the offer I took one, and
my hired man took the other''
lyon mean you went for 'em?''
''Jest SO. Yes, we went for 'em, and
they went fur the boss and buggy hitch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
IN THE SWIM.
But Cross-Rhodes Was Not Quite Up 60
His WiGe's Ideal.

But Cross-Rhodes Was Not Quite Up TO
His wiSe's Ideal.
ssMr. Cross Rhodes, said Mrs. Cross
Rhodes severely, 81 wish you would uD-
derstand that the society of Washington
is quite different from that of Setting
sunville -
well, Maria" began Mr.. Cross
Rhodes.
Don't call me Maria.'' she exclaim-
ed. "You know well enough that my
name is Marie. .
excuse me. MARI mean Marree-
but it didn't use to be. 4"
"It is very strange, Mr.. Cross
Rhodes,'' she said haughtily. "that a
person in your position doesn't try to
conform to his environments.
81 do try, Marree, but you can It learn
old dogs new tricks
''Nor grammar, she said sarcastic
ally.
''That's all right, Maria. - And Mr..
Gross Rhodes stuck to the Maria, for her
tone nagged him.
81 should Think she went on, "that
if you had sense enough to make all the
money you have and to live in a fine
mansion you would have wit enough
to suit yourself to circumstances. I
presume you consider those horrid
stories that congressman tell to be the
only genuinely interesting and brilliant
conversation to be found at the capital :"
Joel laughed deep down within him
self.
"You ought to hear some of them,
Marree," he began, with a good. honest
laugh of appreciation, when one look at
her face stopped him.
''Mr. Cross Rhodes she said indig-
nantly.
ST didn't mean that, Marree, my
DEAR" ne apologized. 'OnIy, you
know, some of them are daisy coolers. I"
81 have no desire, Mr.. Cross-Rhodes,
to dwell on that subject, nor to hear your
slang. I'm sure if you kept out of that
circle and trisd to harmonic yourself
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
SUICIDE OF A MULE.
AT Least Col. Sam RadSes Says He Die
-But Sam Is u St.Anamiasian.

AT Least Col. Sam Radges Says He DID
-But Sam Is a standardization.
"Died on Feb. IL, one black mule,
about the size of jack rabbit. Cause
of death, suicide by hanging"
This was the entry which Receiver
Sam Radges of the Model Supply store
made on his books today. Mr.. Radges
was notified when he went to the store
that one of the mules had hung himself
to his bed post, or malger, by the rope
around his neck which served as a hal
ter.
The receiver viewed the remains
There was a contented smile on the
mules face as though he had died hear
ing the heavenly strains of the world
beyond. His neck was broken and death
had evidently come instantly and pain
lessly.
Mr.. Radges swore himself as jury
and found that the mule came 10 death
by his own foot" The receiver will be
pleased 10 show the dead animal to all
those who insist that mules never die in
Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

an I jest can't stand it no mo-. I'ze
passed it ober an passed it ober, but he
gifts wuss all de time.
'tHow long has he been indulging in
these awful threats?'
''Twentyfo' y 'ars, sah.
"You ought to be used to his ways by
this time
''No, sab 4; can't git used to 'em, cause
he gifts somethin new all de time. I was
used to it when he threatened to blow
my brains out and cut my throat, but
he's got heap wuss dis y ar. "
"Can you repeat some of his threats?"
asked the sergeant.
'No, sab; can't zactly repeat 'em,
but he jumps at me wild club and yells
out dat he'll dissimulate my animosity
if I don't shet up
''I see. And such threats keep you in
fear of your life?''
"Dey do, sab. is goosehesh from
mawnin till night, and wbeneber he
Gums into de house, my heart jumps like
it would bust. Kin he be 'rested?"
''I'll see about it. I know him by
sight, and the first time meet him I'll
give him notice to stop his threats. "
'Dat's it, sab. OATS de way to do.
Jest walk right up to him and tell him
dat he's either got to dispurceed to an
initiate such talk or you'll eventuate
him into de workhouse fur six months.
Yes, sab, tell him dat, and frow in
some mo- big talk, and II be bound he'll
cum home so humble dat kin drive
him all around de ya'd wild de mop
handle -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
Congressman Towards First Client.

When Representative M. W. Howard,
the Populist member from Alabama,
first hung out his shingle as a lawyer, he
was 10 years of age. His patience was
nearly exhausted by days spent in vain
waiting for his first client to come,
when one day he heard knock at the
door. On calling Come in - a darby.
known as Sam, stepped into the little
Office.
"What can 1 do for you?'' the lawyer
asked, as visions of his first fee came to
him.
"Scuse me, sah,'' said Sam. ''but
deed wants to see you on pertikler
bizness. :"
Mr. Howard, thinking that the man
most likely wanted divorce, said, "Sit
down and explain everything carefully. ="
Sc Deed, sab, would like to close de
dore, fo' de bizness am mighty per-
tickler,'' said Sam. After having closed
the door he took the proffered seat. Then
he explained:
''Sah, l has got CURL in Georgia. dat
WANTS you to write q lettah to TO- me. 3"
''Do you love her?' asked the lawyer.
ttDo you want to marry her? Does she
love you?'' and many other questions of
like nature.
To all of these questions Sam replied,
"Suttingly.
The replies being satisfactory, he pro-
ceeded to write the letter. After having
finished it he read it to Sam to see
whether it agreed with his ideas.
''Scuse me, boss said Sam, scratch
ing his woolly head; "scuse NE if I
offer sugghestan; I would like to put
something else in dar also. Something
like dis:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
SKETCHES BYM.QUAD



SCI see you brought in load of tramps
as well, observed Michigan avenue
grocer to the farmer who had stopped to
sell him some butter and eggs.
eyes, few. -
"You must be a real kind hearted
man"
tWaal, dunno. was jest leavin
home this mornin when them six tramps
come along and asked me fur free ride
to town. 1 had a big load of hay and
told 'em to foot it,
eyes"
"Waal. they jest turned into my yard
and sot down on the piazza and told me
to git along. AS they was maxim them
selves comfortable fur all day, and as
the ole woman was scarf to death and
bound to leave the house, thought it
would be a good plan to let 'em come
along.
Looks as if they had had lunch on
the way, = said the grocer as he looked
into the wagon.
eyes, they had bite to eat. I wasn't
goin to give 'em anything at first, but
when they had sucked down a dozen
eggs and was goin fur the butter 1 had
the ole woman put up lunch. No,
can't brag about my kind heartedness,
but know when tramp's got the bulge
ON me and I come down as gracefully as
I can. swan to glory, but the miser-
able critters hev eaten up half bushel
of turnips and two pound cake of bees
wax and dug the seeds out O. all my
sQuasheS ~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
He Was q Patriot.

''I've given it up he said as be en-
countered patrolman at the corner of
Woodward avenue and Woodbridge
street at 10 o'clock at night
"What-drink?' queried the officer
as be peered into his face.
81 never drink anything stronger
rye coffee. I'm great patriot, am
''Ah, see.
Zone of the biggest patriots in De-
troit. I'm for the old flag first and last
and every time. I'm ready to pour ont
my blood at any minute. -
"Wel, pour away, old man."
eff the time comes, I'll pour. AS
said, I've given it up. I did intend to
go over to Windsor and wade right in,
but guess I'll put it off for awhile.
Windsor amt to blame for what Eng
land does, is she?"
''Hardly.''
Innocent people over therer'
eyes,
eft wouldn't be right for me to go
over there and cut and slash and wado
around in gore. They can't help it, if
England won't arbitrate. They can
help it if England is sassy and wants to
fight. Windsor can't control England. "
''No, and it's very kind of you to let
her Off easy" laughed the officer.
"That's what say; but that's my
way. Biggest patriot in all Detroit, but
don't want to begin the war. I shan't
go over to Windsor and shed blood, but
let Windsor come over here and strike
the first blow. Then, sir-then I'll leap
to arms, seize the dear old flag, utter
my warcry, and-and''-
'sAnd die, - finished the officer.
essay !'' whispered the man. "Do they
have anything to drink in the army?"
ST believe SO. ="
'tThen won't die, but take drink
and press ozRto victory, and if I'm asleep
in this doorway when you come back
don't disturb my patriotic slum bers P'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
CHARGED WITH MURDER.
AIRS. Mcdonnell of COTS Arrested for
Poisoning Her Husband.


SENECA, Kan, Feb. 13-Mrs. Frank
Mcdonnell of COTS, this county, was ar
rested on the charge of murder last
night, by poisoning her hus band, Frank
McDenell, who died Saturday night
under suspicious circumstances after
about one weeks sickness. County
Attorney Frank Wells was called to
COTS on Monday to investigate the mat
ter, and found that the accused had
bought arsenic on three different oeca-
sions, and parties present during Mr..
McDonelps sickness report the symptoms
as those of arsenical poisoning.
The county attorney and Sheriff Muir
ray returned to Seneca last night with
the accused, and she is now in Jail. She
appears to be very Indifferent, and has
very little to say. The coroner will hold
an inquest today. 1t is reported by the
neigh bors that Mr.. and Mrs Mcdonnell
had not been living very aRreeably, and
she was going to leave her husband. At
torney Wills says he is satisfied that it is
a case of cold blooded murder
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
COULTER CASE WON'T UP
The Boy Himself Doesn't Want the Case
4 Tried Again.

The Boy Himself Doesn't Want the Case
a Tried Again.
Attorney w. E. Atchison, who con-
Quoted the defense of the murderer,
David Coulter, says that he has not YET
decided whether he would carry the
Coulter case up, but the probability is
that he will not. He says that the jury
stood six to six on the first ballot and this
fact is encouragement to carry the case
TO the supreme court
Coulter, himself, is not particular
about new trial. He says that he sup
poses the jury did the best they knew
and he will make the best of the time he
spends in the penitentiary.
Mr. Atchison says that Coulter mani
tested no emotion except once and that
was the day following the verdict. Mr..
Aichison called TO see him and he sat
down and cried bitterly. He soon re-
covered his composure and has not since
shown any concern.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

The grandest attempt ever made to
raise the arts to a pinnacle of perfection
was Napoleon's project to assemble all
the scattered masterpieces of painting
and sculpture in one collection. This
he actually effected, and for ten or
twelve years the Napoleon museum in
the Louvre at Paris was the wonder
and admiration of the world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
No More Trouble win Baby.

UNIoNTowN, Kan, Sept. 20. '95.-Hand
Medicine Col got sample bottle of
DR.. Hands Collie Cure while I was in
Wichita. My baby was subject to wind
collie and I could lind nothing which
would do him any good. l tried the
sample and had no more trouble with my
baby that day. The following doses
acted in a like manner. / can find no
equal TO it. Mrs. Bertha " oodward"
DIR. Hands Remedies for Children sold
by all druggists for 25 cts per bottle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
A Novel Desk,

An out of the ordinary dish at the
wedding breakfast of Mr.. and Mrs.
Larding at Brockton. Mass, the other
day was peaches canned twenty-five
years ago in Mercer. Me-, the day after
the bride was born.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
WICHITA & RETURN S4.62
Via ,he Grent Reek Island Route.

Via the Great Rock Island Route.
Leaving Topeka at ITO p. N. and ar
irving at Wichita at GAO p. m, going
through without change. Remember
you do not leave Topeka until after din
ner; Also another train leaving Topeka
at 1850 p. N. arriving at Wichita at 3 80
a. m. Through sleepers on hit trains.
For further information call on your
nearest Rock Island agent,
A. NJ. FULLER.
CITY Passenger Agent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
squelching a Husband.

''Kin Ihev man rested fur threats?"
asked a colored woman as she entered
the Chene Street station the other day
in all excited state.
"Who is it?'' asked the sergeant at
the desk.
"My ole man, sah.'
$50 he has threatened your"
''Sah, he has Gun made de awfullest
threats yo' ebber heard from moral lips,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
Recaue and Zola.

Henri Becque and the inevitable
lola are the two candidates most fire.
Guently mentioned in Paris as aspiring
to the academy chair left vacant by
the death of Dumas
The atmosphere is so clear, in Zulu
land, that objects can be. seen by star
light at a distance of seven miles.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

When a woman tells her daughters
she wants them to avoid her mistakes,
she means that she doesn't want them
to marry a man like their father
Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

City Passenger Aren.



P. f. Yearout is chairman and Chas
Harris is secretary of the Emporia dele
cation which is to be here tomorrow to
ask the Populist state central committee
TO hold their state convention at EN-
poria. The committee will show an
architects drawing of the hall in which
they propose to hold the convention.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

You can reach the court house by tax
ing the West Sixth avenue cars and
walking one block north on Van Buren,
street.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

Wichita and return by the Santa Fe
Route, one fare for the round trip.
Tickets sold February Is to 10. good to
return Including February "a No
change of cars by the Santa Fe Route.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

Wichita and return by the Santa Fe
Route, one fare for the round trip.
Tickets sold February 10 to 10. good to
return including February "A. No
change of cars by the Santa Fe Route
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
t'De roses am red,
And de vyIets bIOo;
De pinlls am preaty,
And SO is you. =

And having put it in, Howard asked
if that was all. Sam scratched his woolly
head minute and then said, 'Boss, oar
am one mo- thing dat ought to go in dar-
dis, 4 hopes dat you viii scuse de pore,
mizrable writin and de bad spellin. -
Washington Post. ~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13
WICHITA & RETURN S4.62
Via the Great Rock Island Route.

Leaving Topeka at 1:1O p N. and ar
irving at Wichita at 6:45 p. m, going
through without a change. Remember
you do not leave Topeka until after din
ner; Also, another train leaving Topeka
at 1860 p. m. arriving at Wichita at 4:30
a. N. Through sleepers on night trains.
For further information call on your
nearest Rock Island agent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

The fellows in the gallery furnish the
music, whilst those on the lower floor
get all the choice dancing. That's what's
the matter with the Horner Coal Co.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

Wichita and return by the Santa Fs
Route, ono fare for the round trip
Tickets sold February IS to 10. good to
return including February "a No
change of cars by the Santa Fe Route.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

We can keep you clean-Peerless
Steam Laundry, 112 and ia w. Eighth
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

If You want ALL the news subscribe
for the JOURNAL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

Peerless Steam Laundry Peerless
Steam Laundry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

Smooth as silk is the way our collars
feel now. Peerless Steam Laundry, 112
and ia W. 9Th.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

Anheuser- Busch's Malt Nutrine-the food
drink For sale by all druggists and grocers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

The JOURNAL prints all the news.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-13

There are many politicians that will HE them
to the wood
And get out of the country for that very coun-
try'S good.
There are many men and maidenS with grave
flutterS in their breasts
Who will hide in fear of sciences latest photo
graphic tests:
There are men with boot leg whisky or excuses
to their wives,
With religion on the outside, who will flee as
for their lives.
tant days,
For they must, or be kept dodging-these new
CATH
ode
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-11-10
Society Man of Brooklyn Must Ride
n Donkey from New York to San
Francisco.

NEW YORK, Nov. 9.-Of all the cleo
ton bets of the season, perhaps the
most extraordinary has just come to
light, in spite of the precautions taken
by the parties thereto TO preserve the
secret. In order to preserve his honor
and carry out the conditions of the
bet he so rashly contracted with Ben
jamin Tillard, publisher of New York,
modest and dignified young society
man of Brooklyn must ride a donkey
from New York to San Francisco. 1t
was only by accident that the news
has finally got into print. Robert P.
Woodward is the unfortunate man and
deeply mortified he is, realizing, as he
now does, the rare amusement he is to
afford his friends and the public in
general. When asked if the report was
true, Mr.. Woodward's surprise was too
genuine to admit of its denial
Yes" said he, II bet on the silver
candidate and lost, and as Mr. Tillard
would surely have made good his
wager. shall do no less than to carry
out my part to the letter"
when do you start on your jour-
ney?"
Immediately after Thanksgiving"
Mr.. Woodward replied. It's hard to
do it, but 1 have purchased my donkey,
and 1 shall go. l think 1 shall reach
the coast all right, and then go right
on around the world, but not on a
donkey. 1 will be ashamed to show my
face in Brooklyn for some time.
You see l must parade on my donkey
certain popular thoroughfares in New
York city. before starting. No, 1 de-
cline to name the streets. I don't want
to see a familiar face on that occasion
Both my steed and myself must wear
spectacIes ard 1 g frock coat and silk
hat and on my transcontinental trip l
must visit both the victorious and the
defeated candidate. l must start with
in one month after election day"
And Mr.. Woodward's countenance
depicted utter disgust as the reporter
DEPARTED.
EIr. Tillard was found in his Office in
New York and on learning that his
co-better had explained the terms of
the bet said it was all true. He would
give no further information.