Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-07-14
ORATOR WITH BUT ONE SPEECH
Speaker Has Gone, but Here is the
Speech for Posterity's Sake.

Sneaker Has Gone, but Here is the
Speech for Posterity's Sake.
While it may be fairly assumed thai
the Republican party will have little
need this year for the army of orators
whose duty is first to arouse enthusiasm
and then to persuade the voter to follow
their lead. theywill still, no doubt, keep
I'D the good old custom; and such being
the case. many a man will sigh in vain
for the presence Of that perennial Presl-
DENTAL campaigner, H. A. Matthews,
The Irish orator." for this picturesque
figure is now no more.
Poor. indeed, was the meeting that
Mr.. Matthews would not attend, whether
in Cooper Union or in some paltry little
hall in the tenement house section on
the thickly populated east side. 1t was
OF little consequence 10 him whether he
received IAN invite" or not, or whether
it was an Italian or a Hungarian or
Bohemian or a Polish of German gath
ering, not one OF which languages he
understood; but it was all the same to
him ifthey had assembled TO promote the
interest of the Republic party as ne
called it. he was there to make his
speech. Now, the peculiar thing about
Matthews was that for twenty years he
had been delivering tine same speech
without the variation Of word, and
every time with as solemn face as If he
had never uttered 1t before. The habit
had so grown upon him that he reality
believed that it was new speech every
time. and was not convinced of his error
until a Recorder man, who had heard
the speech so often that it came TO him
by heart, delivered it one night in Re-
publican meeting in West Forty seventh
street. and Mr.. Matthews, who was to
follow. was at first dumfounded, but re-
covering himself soon, started off with
his old-time Grafton.
Here are a few gems Of this immortal
grafton, which, in many national cleo
ltion. helped defeat the Democrat
party"
'fAIisther Chairman: I'm an Irishman,
but that's no fawt of mine. Ef man be
bonn in a stable that's no reason why he
should be called horse Now, the hui
NOR of this was that it was meant to be
complimentary TO Irishmen, who formed
the great bulk of his audience. and those
hot blOoded sons OF the Gael who heard
him for the first time often prevented
him going any further.
"Misther Chairman The first job
got in this country was driving mules;
an man who drives mules for six
months and can't make a political
speech, talk temperance and. religion
had better get out of the country at
wanst"
"Ah. Misther Chairman, how of'n do
| hear it said that the Republican party
is the party of aristocracy. 1t is, is it?
In 1861. when we wanted President, we
went down to Illinois an we got a rail
splitter an We nominated him an we
elected him. How is that fur aristoc-
racy? In 1880 We wanted a President
ag'in an we went down ag' in TO Illinois,
an we got a mule driver, an We NOM
mated i'm. an we elected 'im. How
was that fur ariStocracy? Do you want
any more? Ye do? Very well, thin.
forgot to tell you that in 1868 we whit
down vance more to Illinois, an we
got tanner, an me friends, I'd like
TO tell you that he tanned more rebel
hides than ever he did cowhides, an
we nominated i'm an we elected i'm.
Hows that fur aristocracy?"
"Ah, my friends, we may not know it,
but l tell We here an now that the
Dimmicrat party is like Ben Franklin
an his dog. Ben franklin sat under
the tree; the apple fell down; Ben got
up, investigated the fall of that apple,
discovered the law OF gravitation which
gave us the liberties which we to-day
enjoy; an the dog knew nothin' at all
about it
Mr.. Matthew's dissertation on steel
rails and how the tariff hoped to lower
their price, could only be likened TO
the charming budget statements of Mr..
Gladstone, who was said to be the only
man in the House of Commons who
could make actually poetical dry figures
contained in the annual statement of
the chancellor OF the exchequer. But
most important of all. Mr.. Chairman"
Matthews would say, lis when we come
TO consider how the tariff effects cham
bermaids. In 1852, when / KEN to this
country, chambermaidS had IS a
month. How is id now? Nov the wo-
man laveS her broWnSthone front on
FIT avenue. dresshed in her black six
dress. an she goes down to Cashl Gar
cen, an she meets wild buxom young
Irish girl. an she says: Mary, will you