The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1896-12-30
A CHINESE ROMANCE.

Ding Dong heaved huge sigh and
sobbed a convulsive sob as he laid his
aching head on his weary arms on the
table and racked his brain in great
agony of spirit. The dies ire had come
his day of reckoning. 1t was the day
before the Chinese New Year's-Feb. 8,
according to your calendar-when every
good Chinaman must settle up or go up
the spout and confess himself dishonor-
ed. He owed only little matter of 100
taels-not pigtails nor cowtails, you
understand, but silver taels-equivalent
to 81. 80 in American money. II he had
that many taels, he would gladly have
paid up, for there was nothing small
about Ding; but he didn't, and thereby
hangs a tale.
If Ding had only possessed the glorious
birthright of an American, instead of
, worrying over such a trifiing matter he
would have let his creditor do so, get
an extension of time, and then settle up
at 30 cents on the dollar.
AS it was, poor Ding only saw ruina-
tion before him and dilapidation of his
air castles. Grim despair. like an i'm
mense bat, spread her sable wings and
overcast his sensitive soul with shadows
and dark forebodiDgs
Ding Dong was poor and an orphan
not quite as poor as church mouse,
perhaps, for he still had something bet
ter to eat than hymn books and velvet
cushions, but still so poor that the
patches ON his gown made it look like
crazy quilt, while its back had received
such deposit of oil from his braided
hair as would gladden. the heart of a
Pennsylvania capitalist to strike.
His father was the famous Ding
Dung, who had been mandarin in the
service of the emperor. Dung was true
father to the people over whom he was
sent to rule, and, knowing that too
much money would not be good for
them, squeezed them on all occasions,
thereby growing enormously rich. But,
as he was not prudent enough to share
his i'll gotten gains with his superiors,
he was denounced by the censors for
malfeasance in Office and had his head
taken off and his property confiscated.
His mother having died during his
fathers financial crisis, the younger
Ding found himself at the age of Is a
lone orphan and penniless. Now that he
had to shift for himself, our hero opened
a school and was so far successful that
he had plenty to eat and good clothes on
his back until ambition and a laudable
70 ot L. Sc 81
him to borrow money to defray the ex-
pense Of a journey to Canton, where he
proposed to test his luck and skill in the
public examination. From this literary
contest he came out with flying colors.
He was no SLOUGH as a scholar, though
he might be wanting when weighed in
the scales of Mammon. In scholastic at
tainments he had few equals and hardly
any superiors. He had vanquished many
antagonists i'll the examination halls of
his native town, where he proved again
and again that he could quote Confucius
and other sages at a longer stretch than
any one, compose poems with greater
elegance and ease and write Chinese
hieroglyphics with finer touch and fin
ish. He led his class in the examination
at Canton, thereby climbing the first
rung on the ladder of fame and win
ming the seu-tsai's brass button. There
remained only two more trials, which,
successfully passed through, would
land him at the top of the heap, from
which he could fatten at the public crib
at his leisure.
But his triumph was shortened and
his dreams Of future greatness were dis
turbed by thoughts of the debt he still
owed, whose interest he had been able
to pay by dint of economy, but whose
principal he saw no chance of settling
before the new year rolled in.
His creditor was no other than his
future father in law, to whose daughter
he had been engaged while the elder
Ding was making money hand over fist,
and the Ding family seemed to be in
the flood tide of worldly prosperity. But
when the family was reduced in num-
bers as well as in means by order of his
sacred majesty, the son of heaven, the
father of the girl said to his wife, 81
told you So" and regretted his haste in
making the match. The old gentleman,
who went by the name of Ju Dun. was
rich and more worldly minded than
common. He, too. grew wealthy by
squeezing" the people-not, however,
as their father. like Ding Dung. but as
their uncle, whose golden rule was,
do others or they will do you" He
was in the habit of loaning little sums
to people in straitened circumstances at
10 per cent per month interest, and by
adding this to the principal in case Of
its nonpayment at the end of the month.
By this method of compromising inter-
est he got many persons to give up
houses and lands, and even daughters,
to him in payment of debts. Those who
could not settle up thus had TO settle
down in the debtors prison, where they
languished in chains and misery until
death came TO their relief.
in Dun was withal miser and
boarded the money he did not lend
as if he were TO excel Methusa .eh in
longevity. His clothes were worn as
long as they could stand mending. He