Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1896-11-23
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EbuCs Sue . C1ldIlSeuf d SEGdl tuedl
Since she took to the wheel,
For she now has bicycle face.
-Up-to-Date.
Mother-Johnny, why did you not tell
me that you were naughty at school?
Johnny-'Tisn't best to tell women ev-
erything Transcript.
The young man who is anxious to lay
the world at the feet of the girl he
adores, three months after he marries
her isn't willing even to lay the carpet.
-Yonkers Statesman.
81 have been informed that your
first attempt at long-distance ride on
your wheel turned out to be highly
dramatic affair" Every. 1 had to
walk back."-Cincinnat Enquirer.
"Bixby has given up learning to play
chess" "Toom for his mental cali
ber?' ''No, he hurt his jaw trying to
pronounce the names of the leading
players cleveland Plain Dealer.
''It is shameful that the States have
to legislate about women's theater
hats" "Why?" swell, it shows how
1lLJlC 1uuu01CO llFU1FIuudA LACA AoF
with their wives. Chicago Record.
Artist f1atter myself this last pic
ture Of mine is an excellent one. An
other Artistry dear fellow, you don't
fatter yourself half as much as you
fatter the picture. Roxbury Gazette.
'"This,' said he, as he inhaled the
balmy October air, lis Indian summer"
81 always maintained" she replied,
'that the Indians were capable of good
work if given the chance. Chicago
News
Smith, see that bullet from one
Of those new rifles will kill six men,
standing one behind another. Thomp-
son-You don't say? In that case, a
man might just as well go to the front.
Puck.
Bobby-Ma, you said that I wasn't to
eat that piece of cake in the pantry
because it would make me sick. Moth
er-Yes, Bobby. Bobby (convincinglD
But, ma, it hasn't made me sick.-An-
sWers.
.Here / am" remarked the India
rubber man. But no one seemed to pay
any attention to him until he coiled
himself up into four-in-hand and tri-
umphantly shouted: Here am knot
New York Journal
Little Ethel wonder why men like
to talk about their old school days?
Little JOHNNY spose after they got
growed up they is always tryin' to find
out where the teacher lives, so they can
lick him.-Comic Cuts.
''Mrs. Digby has husband that real
~ thinks something Of her." What
has he doneY' ."Why, instead of bet
ting to win hat for himself on the
election, he bet a new bonnet for his
wife, Chicago Record.
A forced convert" Say, Weary, wor
are you walkin' round in yer bare foots
/ fer!' I'm trying dis:yere new Knelpp
cure" "Wot fer, Weary?' "'Cause
some dingblasted snoozer stole me
shoes!'- Cleveland Plaindealer. =
"This honey doesn't look to be pure, /"
said the cautious grocer. "But, man,
earnestly replied the apiarist, cit has
to be pure. You wouldn't expect man
in the bee line to be crooked; now.
could you ?"-Indianapolis Journal.
"Can you support my daughter in the
STYLE to which she is accustomed?
asked her father. Pretty nearly" re-
nlied the sutton. "Of course l can't
keep up the engagement luxurics have.
given her forever -Harper's Bazaar.
"I'ye noticed an Indian hanging
around the entrance for several days.,
said the theatrical manager. do you
know who he is?' IT strongly suspect
that he's scalper," replied the ticket
agent philadelphia North American.
First Student-What makes you look
so melancholy? Second Student I have
been fooled I asked my father to send
me sixty marks to pay my tailor and
a. few DAYS later / received there
ceinted tailor's billr'-Fliegende Blaet-
ter :.
Father-Wait year, my son, and you
may feel very different. Son Cont
dently)-Tve tested my love for Miss
Higgins thoroughly, and I know it can
not change. I've played golf with her,.
and I still want her for my wife
Household Words.
"Wel," remarked the wife of the
man who had changed his mind about
coming to Congress, ''you have clear
conscience, anyhow" II know that,
wac the comfortless reply; 'but clear
conscience isn't what [ was running
r."-Washington Star.
".I'm all in the dark about how these
bills are to be paid" said Mr.. Hardup'
to his wife. "Well, Henry said, she,
as she pulled out yellow one and laid
it on top of the pile, "you will be II
you don't pay that one, for that's the
gas ."-Washington Capital.
Mrs. Brown-Did you have a good
time at the party last evening? Mrs.
Rlack-Not at all. 1t was awfully duh.
We sat there like mumchances and no.
bod1, bod hardly word TO saw We