davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-04
Might Have Bccn Cheaper.

Roscoe Conkling came into Mr.. Evarts'
office one day. when he was young law
yer. In quite "a nervous state.
You seem to be very much excited.
Mr.. Conkling,' said Mr.. Evarts, as Ros-
coe walked up and down the room.
Yes. I'm provoked--I am provoked"
said Mr.. Conkling. II never had a client
dissatisfied about my fee before.
We'll, what's the matter?' asked Mr..
Evarts.
Why, ! defended Gibbons for arson.
you know. He was convicted, but | did
hard work for him. ! took him to the
Superior cour,, and he was convicted; !;
then on to the Supreme court and the
Supreme court confirmed the Judgment
and gave him ten years in the peniten-
tiary. ] charged him s3,C0O and now Glib
bons Is srumbling about it-says it's
too much. Now. Mr.. Evarts. I ask you.
II ] really charged too much?'
Well" said Mr.. Evarts, very delib-
erately. "of course you did good deal
of work. and $1,000 is not very big fee:
but to be frank with you. Mr.. Conkling.
my deliberate opinion is-that--,he--migh
have-been-convicted ed-for--less-money. :"
Chicago mes-Herald.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-04
The End.
GOOD SHORT STORIES.
Made Out Ills Case.

"My first case" said a well-known at
torney, was the defence of negro
preacher In Missouri. who had been ar
rested for stealing wood from ran.
road company. A great deal OF fuel had
been lost from time to time. so when the
culprit was arrested the company was
SO anxious to make an example of him
that 1t employed special counsel and pros
ecuted the case vigorously. The evidence
against the old man was convincing. He
had been seen sneaking around the wood
pile and was arrested while carrying on
n load.
~ had subpoenaed about twenty WELL
known business men TO testify to the
previous good character of the defend
ant. When the prosecutions case was
closed put one on the stand and asked:
"'Do YOU know the defendants repu-
tation for honesty and integrity"
YES was the answer.
what Is it-good or bad?'
Bad: He will steal anything he can
get his hands on
"A litter ran through the court room.
1t wasn't the answer I had expected. but
1t was too late. so | put on bold front
and called another. He testified as the
other witness had, and the prosecuting
attorney rubbed his hands with sa it's
faction. Before ] got through with my
witnesses, ] proved that my client was a
notorious thief, VINO had never been
something, 10 matter how trltling it
might be. Then l called Il couple of
physicians, proved the existence Of a
mental disorder as kleptomania, read some
authorities to show that II was a good
defence II proven. and submitted my case.
after stole with impunity, for he consid-
cred his acQuittal In the face of the facts
equivalent to license to s;eal"-San
Francisco Call.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-04

Manager William A. Brady's great
production of Sutton Vane's phenome-
nally successful melodrama 1.-The Cot
ton King comes to the Academy Tues
day evening. 1t has had most sue
cessful run in Boston where night after
night scores of people were turned
away. The play is strong in all the
elements which appeal most forcibly to
the great average of mankind. The
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-04
PART Y.

1t was ten O'clock when once more
entered the office of my chief. 1 found
him awaiting me there. Ray had just
come from my rooms with news of i'm
portance from the House with Green
Blinds. A short time before the people
IN the stS.et and the houses near. had
been startled by the noise of a heavy
explosion. 1t had come. as well as they
could make out, from the house he had
been watching. The police had been
summoned and an effort made to gain
admission to the place. No reply had
been obtained to the ringing of the bell,
and they were now preparing to force
an entrance. The chief had waited
merely to give me the information. and
we at once set out together. There was
the inevitable crowd Of people before
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-04
Was Never Asked Again.

Clara Lane accidentally Sc. fire to her
nightdress in the disrobing scene Of FRA
Diavolo." In Boston, and there was al.
most q panic.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-04
How HO Became o Professor,

Chauncey NJ. Depew lately visited the
mechanical department, of Cornell univer-
sity. He found at the head OF Il Professor
Morris. The latter claimed him as an
old acquaintance. "How's that?" said
Mr.. Depew. II used to work for the New
York Central railroad" was the profess
sor's answer. Indeed! In what depart
ment?" "Oh, just In the ranks" How
did you get here?' asked Depew. ~ was
first fireman on an engine. That was a
tough job, but it led up to the position
Of engineer. When | became an engineer
| made up my mind to get an education.
] studied at night and fitted myself for
Union college, running all the time with
my locomotive. l procured books and at
tended as far AZ possible the lectures and
recitations. kept up with my class. and
on the day Of graduation ] left my loco
motive. washed up. put on the gown and
cap, delivered my thesis and received my
diploma. put the gown and cap in the
closet. put OH my working shirt, got OH
my engine and made my usual run that
day" Then" said Depew, II knew how
he became Professor Morris. That spirit
VIII cause man to rise In any calling. 1T
Is ambition, but 1t is ambition wisely di-
rected, seeking to make oneself fitted for
higher work. When this Is accomplished
the opportunity for higher work il sure
to come. "--Catholic Columbian.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

get over their aversion 10 juvenile din.
One of these GROWERS recently wrote
to Major of Police Moore, signing
name that does not appear in the city
directory and failing to give any ad-
dress, as follows:
Cannot the children of the public
schools be made to move on and into
the schoolhouses or to their homes?
Why should our homes be made per-
fectly wretched for hours each day
with the screaming and bad conduct
Of these boys and girls?"
1t would be hard to fancy home
more wretched than the grave-like
lomicile presided over by silent ogre
such as the one who wrote that let
ter. Thank goodness there are not
enough such people in the world to stop
the whirl of the penny top or the sport
Of game of tag. The man who grum-
bles and growls because children are
noisy would kick if he was playing
football. The man who would invoke
the aid of the police department to
strangle mirth and garrote happiness
would complain if he heard an angelic
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

a member of congress. He never ut
tered word, but simply acted the part
of messenger as he was ordered to do.
I he Pennsylvania congressman who
told me this story would not allow me
10 publish his name; but he said: Il
found that the fellow has mother de-
pendent upon him, or l would have
had him instantly discharged. Bat
God help the mother who depends upon
such a son for her bread and butter"
When Abram S. Hewitt, of New York,
was member of congress he was re-
garded as the most nervous man in
the house of representatives. All
noises were disagreeable to him, and
the hammering of the speakers garei
| would seem to give him actual pain.
| On one occasion he had a man arrested
for keeping a rooster in an adjoining
| yard; for the domestic bird had ac-
| uuired the disagreed bic habit of lifting
I'D his voice and Growing long before
| daybreak. The court decided in favor
of the rooster, and Mr.. Hewitt moved
from the neighborhood.
| Some men are naturally nervous, aud
some men are naturally almost toe
mean to live. 1t is strange and almost
wonderful how distressingly overfond
of quiet, how averse to the sound of a
pleased child's laugh, how prone tc
growl "stop that noise" at the boys
at play, some people are. One cannot
help wishing that some of them might
BE- transmisrated into deaf and dumt
world apd keps there uatiI they eou.s
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03
ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE.
Washington Is a Good Place to
Study Human Nature.
Good Stories of Polite Gentlemen, Nervous
Cranks and Insufferable Boors-
Why It Pays to Be Civil
Always.

1t costs nothing to be polite. John
Boyd, the agent of the Pacific railroad
magnate, Huntington, became sue
cessful man of business by being Fo-
lite. lie was an assistant doorkeeper
in the national house of representa-
tlves when MIR. Huntington came there
10 ask for q certain member of en-
gress. The other doorkeepers paid 70
attention to him, but John Boyd went
out of his way to accommodate the
stranger Very soon after that he was
employed by Mr.. Huntington and has
prospered. He owns his own home, and
his fortune is made. 1t began by good
breeding and courteous treatment OF
others.
There are many employees of the cap
i:oi building and many more in the
executive departments at Washington
who might we'll emulate the example
CT John Boyd. Some of them think
that they own the government. They
look away down at common folks.
Some of them are simply overwhe'm-
ing. They have the shadow of Ches-
tertieldlan courtesy, it is true, but the
substance is woefully lacking. a rep
resentative of this species is fairly
scod-looking man, and rather young
| His barber gives him regular and care
| full attention. He presents large eX-
posure of shirt-front, spotlessly white
| and creaselessly stiff, a high collar and
| necktie of the latest shape and figure.
| No writer of books on etiquette could
| find a flaw in his manner or words.
| They are as exact as the multiplication
table. But the oppressiveness of d:g-
nifty which he let's fall on those who
address him is appalling. The farmer
or artisan who may have talked with
a senator, and found him pretty much
as other men are, will not have appre-
ciated how great some representatives
of the people can become until he
meets one of these rare clerks.
The young man particularly referred
to here is clerk in the state depart
ment. He has more diplomacy in his
head and less in his manners than any
other man in the city. a very ordi
nary man in size and appearance en-
tered the room which this clerk oc
cupies and asked where the office O.
the chief of the consular bureau coult
be found. The dude never raised hi:
eyes from the newspaper before him
The question was angrily repeated, ant
the department dude ianguidly re
sponded, without lifting an eyelid
ASK a messenger" The vislto
stepped into the room. knocked th
paper out of the hands of the clerk
slapped his arm and said: You in,
pertinent rascal, get up and lead Ill
to the chief of the consular bureau o
I'll have you out of this office in tiv
minutes"
> His dudeship hastened to obey, 70
he realized that he was dealing wit
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

Dy taxing nealth
trip, and l carried along $475 to pay it
with. also took fishpole and q north
westerly direction for the Michigan
woods.
When | was leaving Detroit on the
steamboat wrapped up $500 in rub
ber band and slowed them away in the
inside pocket of my vest, and I soon
acquired the habit of touching myself
every time l thought of it to see wheth
er my cash balanced, or, to speak more
accurately, to see whether / still had
the bulge on my vest.
AS soon as found this nervous habit
fastening itself upon me l was sorry
that I had not always carried large
sums of money and got used to the SEN
sation, but it was too late for vain re-
grets, and l determined to make the
best of it. But | decided that 1 would
always in the future have plenty of
money.
1t was little too early in the season
for the summer run of schoolma ans
on the lakes, and there were only few
passengers on board the steamboat.
These were made up mostly of CONNER
cial travellers and fair assortment of
those dusty-booted, slouch-hatted, shod-
dy-clad men who travel on trains and
boats everywhere without any appar.
ent reason or object. There was one
lady on board.
There was also another passenger
Il red. headed man with sinister eye
and smell of horse about him so pro-
nounced that the lady passenger asked
for 'the radish" at dinner, thinking IL
avoid hurting his feelings by saying
horse -radish i'll his presence.
If l had not been carrying a wad ol
money Into a lonely country l shoulc
have paid little attention to this ill
favored person; but l was carrying i
wad of money, and suspected that he
knew it. For the life of me could no.
help pressing that W ad with my finger:
every time met him or heard his voic.
or smelt horse. l was certain tha
he noticed this involuntary action ane
that he knew the reason of it, and
came TO believe that he was on the boa
because | was. and that he would &c
off when l did.
He did get off when l did. at
o'clock at nj ght, on the lonely dock il
the town of Gravelton, and no one let
the boat there but us two. l saw hin
disappear in the darkness when too
my seat in the hotel bus.
The Gravelton hotel was one o
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

between the leaves of dictionary, and
wishing to remember the exact place
he thought he would open the book
at the word money, but behold, when he
opened it the first word he saw was
murder
Here the narrative was broken by
soap dish, which adhered firmly to the
paper in spite of my careful efforts to
remove it, and read no further.
l arose and shook myself. "Pshaw!"
I said, what a fool am. He's probably
just an ordinary hostler come up here
to work, or perhaps to see his old
mother. No doubt he's as honest as |
am. l wonder what word he would
have found if he'd opened the diction-
ary at cash." l soliloquized, and out of
mere idle curiosity l took from my
handbag the nearest approach had to
dictionary-a little paper-covered
book of synonyms, and opened it at c.
Clutch-grasp-lay-hold-on - catch
seize.
This was the line that met my gaze.
l laughed, threw the book on the table
and began TO undress.
IF anyone enters my room tonight"
l thought, as folded up my vest and
placed it under the pillow, "Ill clutch
! him, grasp him, lay hold on him, catch
him, seize him. and yell for help"
When l went to sleep dreamt that
| was wading up trout stream fishing
| for black bass with wad of money for
bait and that as fast as l caught fish
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

those large, cheaply-built houses which
one will find in all the numbering towns
of the west where land is cheap and
pine is cheap, and regular boarders are
cheap and numerous, but my room was
clean enough and reasonably secure.
The window had no fastenings, but the
sash had swclled, and the easement
held it in a grip which all my strength
could not loosen. The door was pro-
,ided with Il bolt and lock, and the
transom was too narrow to admit the
body of man. felt pretty secure,
but was made nervous by the fact that
the curtain failed to cover the lower
part of the window. | was morally
certain that my ugly feIlow-traveler
stood outside in the darkness, watching
ME with hungry eyes.
l did not fee. sleepy enough to go to
bed, neither did find it particularly
cheerful to sit in the one little wooden
chair which the room afforded and gaze
at the cheap wall paper covering the
pine partition, or the "skied" picture
OF flaming red, long tailed bird OF
paradise, with his head set backward
on his neck. My books were in my
trunk, and there was nothing at hand
TO read except an old newspaper, which
vas doing duty as cover to the wash
stand.
Glancing at this paper. l saw thai
the page exposed TO view was made III
of "syndicate' matter, and that the
prominent article was, by startling co
incidence, the story of an adventure
with burglar. l began reading it.
The narrator told how he found him
self in strange room seeking for !
safe place to bestow bis money for ths
blight; bow he determined TO place i
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03
NO. 40.
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

Higher -Teacher-"Now,
we have Daniel in the fiery furnace.
What then?" Boy-"Well. it wasn
hot enough for him."-DetroitT Tribune.
"Maria," said Buggles to his wife,
with an idea of instructing her in polft
ical economy, "do You know what civil
service is?" Jasper" said Mrs. Bug
giles, with memory or recent contract
with the cook, there isn't any.-Iit-
Bits.
Something of a Strain.-"So you do
rot think minister ought to ride a bi-
cycle?' mo; | didn't say that at all.
But do think he ought not to tackle it
unless he is sure his religion can stand
the strain of learning."-Indianapolis
Sentinel.
For Home Reading.-"I just fin
ished Miss Scryber's new novel this aft
ernoon." II have heard something OF
it. Is it, ah-suitabIe for home read
ing" "Strictly. l know | would not
like to be seen reading it in public. -
indianapolis journal.
One xplanation.-"Why do men
the man who inquiries. ''it's very
simple" replied the man who sneers.
''By the time the campaign is over the
old ones are invariably worn out by the
talking that's been done through them =
Washington Star.
| Master addressing his Irish man
servant nt)-'Terrence, I'm going into
the country to stay at my mothers
place. If Mr.. Dudley calls tell him I'll
be back on Tuesday, Tcrrence-"B Be-
gorra, will, sor! And"-after pause
-"wbat will be after saying to him 4
he doesn't call, r?"-Tit-Bits.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

A Chinese doctor is employed by
the year to attend family and keep it's
members in good health. When one
fails III. the doctors pay is stepped M
III the patient yecoyeEs
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

was robbed of them by a redheaded
horse.
From the number Ct fish had caught
1 judge that must have slept two or
three hours; then l found myself sud
denly awake, listening nitently, and
anXiously snuffing the air. | was cer-
tain of two things. Some one was NOV
ing in the room, and I smelled horse.
1t is easy to write of this thing now
in spirit of levity, but ] had no surh
feeling as I lay there strainlng my
eyes to no purpose in the inky darkness,
but hearing that fellow move about the
room boldly, without caution, as
though it mattered nothing to him
whether / slept or wakened.
''If | move" thought. ''he is ready
with his knife or club to silence me for
ever"
did not know wheth or not he had
already taken the vest from under my
pillow and did not care just then to
investigate. | moved not muscle, bui
when the first tumult of sudden fright
had subsided | tried to think-to rea-
son.
II am here for my health" thought.
"Now won't It be healthier to lie still
| and let him take my money than to
| move finger and let him take my life
what little / have? How did he get in
| here?. All, of course! the window.
couldn't bulge it, but he is muscular.
| I should have thought of that"
| What was the man doing? The
sounds he made were exactly such as a
man makes in dressing. Heavens!
would he exchange clothes with me-
leaving his horsey old suit in my room
He was at the wash-stand pouring out
water--washing his hands. My fright
was giving way to anger at the cool i'm
pudence of the man. Doubtless he hac
on my clothes now, including the vest
with the wad of bills in the inside
pocket. Coward that was to lie there
and let him take my property!
I hesitated no longer, but sprane
from the bed and with one cry o
"Help!" rushed with resistless furJ
slam bang against the partition owe
where I thought the man stood.
Some one tried my door, the1
knocked on it for admittance. Backin:
toward it so as to guard myself from
an attack by the burglar found TIL
bolt and lock and threw the door open
A flood of light filled the room; tn
window was closed and the only pei
sons present were myself and my visit
ora gentleman fully dressed, with
lighted lamp in his hand and trou
basket slung over his shoulder.
There was burglar in my room,"
began. Il couldn't see the scoundre
but heard him washing his hands an
putting OIL my
1 stopped, for saw my clothes hang
ing where had left them.
II think you must have heard m
washing and dressing" said the gentle
man, "and must ask you to pardon m
for disturbing You. should have re
membered that the walls between thes
rooms are very thin
/ That is my burglar story. ! nigh
devise better ending for it if my in
, aginative powers were equally di:
tributed, but they seem mostly
, center in my olfactory nerves. coui
have sworn that smelled horse.-D'
troit Free Press. . -
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03
One WAY to Get Even.

Mrs. Bingo texcitedly)-Say, the Bax-
tiers, next door, are going to have their
house painted brown; now we must
have ours painted a little lighter shade.
Mr.. Bingo (testily)-I suppose if
they had their house painted pure
white, you would want one lighter
shade. ..
Mrs. Bingo-No. wouldn't. I'd burn
soft coal every day the wind was right
Harlem Life.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-12-03

choir singing peace on earth, to men
good will" AS a matter of fact, when
the angels came here singing that
solg, they found it to be so unwelconie
a strain that they flew back through
heard Of since.
Senator Turpie, of Indiana, has al
ways been a nervous man, and during
his incumbency Of seat in the senate
he has been almost driven crazy by the
page boys and others who make al!
sorts of noises. He does not like to have
senators about him snap their tingeri
to attract the attention of the pages
He does not like to have himself jostled
by senator's and others passing back OF
his chair. He is pitifully nervous. But
he is a very good man, and always
speaks in kindly manner to the boys
and men employed about the senate.
| Senator Ingalls,, of Kansas, was SO ex'
cessively nervous that he could not ell
dure the scratching of pen or the
noise of typewriter in his committee
room. Consequently all of the writing
had to be done when he was absent
This made it rather hard on his private
secretary, who had to do his work a
| odd times and under all sorts of circum
stances. He was not only nervous, bu
| impatient and autocratic; and somt
people said that he was altogether tot
aristocratic. He had brass railing pu
around his desk to keep the genera
public from coming into contact will
| him. He would receive them all ant
talk with callers, but they could no
get to him and make themselves fa
miliar with him. His successor, Sen
ator Mcmillan, of Michigan, had tha
brass railing taken away, and allowed
the people who have business in tha
committee room to come right up to tn
chairman and talk business. Senate
Mcmillan is not nervous.
81 don't mean to be profane," say
Senator Money, of Mississippi. II al
simply nervous and am obliged to eN
press myself in a nervous manner.
Strange as my ultra religious friend
will regard it, that statement is abse
lutely true. The senator does not mea
to be profane, and he is one Of the mos
refined gentlemen in the world. Blu
he is nervous and somewhat excita bl
and on such occasions he is little pre-
fame in his ejaculatory remarks. 1t wa
simply because of nervous irritabilit
that he got into an alteration last yea
, at the capitol with another congres
:, man. when they threw ink bottles ar
! other missiles at each other. 1t wou
seem to be well for extremely nervol
=. people to carry guardians with them,
: manage their tempers for them.
, Librarian Spofford, the man who
genius has developed the vast co
gressional library, and because
y whose persistence and insistence Il
, magnificentc congressional library bull
Il ing was provided for by congress, is o.
4 of the most polite and magnetic men
i public life. Men and women are draw
to him by his manners; because no ma
n ter how busy he may be he is at ;
q times accessible, polite, agreeable, al
even genial. Such men are bound
O prosper in this world, and when th
. depart this life leave behind the
- footprints of love in the sands Of tin
SMITH D. FRY