davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
KNEW ALL BUT ONE.

4 Whole Euglish Regiment Made Up OF
Questionable Characters.
The story is told of an English mil
Niaregiment whose reputation was none
OF the best that on one occasion detec-
tive from Scotland asked to be allowed
to inspect the regiment to discover if
possible If certain malefactor were in
the ranks. Permission being given, the
detective, accompanied by the adjutant
of the regiment, made tour of the vari.
GUS companies, front rank and rear
rank. When the official had got to the
lest man of the rear rank Of the rear
company he stopped suddenly and gazed
earnestly at the rather embarrassed
warrior. why. you surely have made
o mistake" exclaimed the adjutaut, in
dignantly; why, you have pitched on
the best man in the battalion. he has
been with us for more than 90 years. and
be is our pattern solder. His arms are
Q mass of good conduct badges. and be
is the example of all that is best in the
life of soldier. You surely do not
know himY' NO." replied the detec-
tive, 81 do not-but / know all the
otherH"
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
piTH AND POINT.

-Pianist-"Whatd do you want here?"
Burglar with great presence Of mind)
IL just came to ask if you would
kindly play me your last composition
pianist plays, and invites burglar to
lunch) .-Westliche Blstter.
DO you believe that Adam gave a
name to all the animals?" 81 do, and
l respect him for mis- selections. He did
his work most creditably." "Why?"
We'll. because there wasn't Rover or
Fido in the whole lot."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Mrs. Wallace-"That wood is ready
for you to saw as soon as you see fit
to go about it." Perry Patettic-"Par-
don me. mum. but instead of sayin'
go about it. you should have said go
around. viii now go around it."-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
"A Safe Mule-"Rastus, you internal
niger, you told me that mule was per-
fectly safe, and when went into the
stable he nearly kicked the top of my
head off, Eyes. sab; I said the mewl
wuz safe. sab. But eff you kin recoilec'.
didn't say muffin Hoout wedder it
WIZ safe in his wicinity-"-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
-Jarley-"Charlie Windig was mar
ried in the spring and his wife has left
him for the first time. For a visit, you
know. His mother-in-law is keeping
house for him. Charlie says he never
tackled such a problem" Bronson
what problem?" Jarlev-'Why. he's
counting the minutes until his wife
returns. and the hours until his mother
in-law goes, and it's tangled him all
up"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Equally Distrustful.-"Say," wills
pered the man in the broad-brimmed
straw hat TO the steamboat clerk. rive
me some other stateroom. please. The
man you've put me in with Is manu-
facturer of pure ground spices" a few
minutes l...er the manufacture Of pure
ground spices sauntered up 10th clerks
desk. Say he whispered. cant ron
let me have some other sta;eroorr
You've put a fellow in with me that
makes pure Vermont maple sugar
Chicago Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

The story u told Of 3 famous raa;a.
,zatfcian TIA: ke was frequently guilty
during his coETtsksy 81 walking ths
greater part u = Ezfie ssitk tho yossns
lady Of la choice without speaking.
one evening arr took advantage of his
ah>--ntninSedB~es 20 play him & irsek
She sii4~si her hand from kss arm znS
hurried bone nearer way. He eon.s.-
ued 20 bold ais s-ra in he sArns position
~s1sed up he st~rr of h~r safh~r's
aoo~s ard rang "a. h~iI. zh-n. 20 hss
s&.oztshEs~n,. ehe keTSelf ap~-ers sAs
door. Re stared IN al eF~6aiosi. mn
r~r sod ~seiaisn~vts WAY. s.. ko.
IN H. world id you re. On tia, SIDE a
-. 6oa-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07


Neglected Wife-Fhy don't you GO TO
work?"
Husband e ne'er-do-welD II amt
got no tools.
Neglected Wife-Deacon Smith Of
fered yon five dollars TO fix his fence,
and you have a saw. q plane and a ham
mer and nails. What more do you
want?-
Hnsband-The saw amt no good, and
] amt rot no file 70 sharpen IT, Ole
Smith kin fix his fence hissclf
Same Husband (tcn year, later
Hist Say. wife. I've escaped from tn,
pepitentiarv. Gimme some other
clothes. 20 kin light out agtn-
Wife-Myi N.Y. How did you get
cut?
Husbend-I dug 20 feet underground
with a tv~o-tio~d fork and then crtmv
way through two feet Of stons wall AMI
ten inches Of boiler sron with a saw
made out Of Elm dinner pIa.e-N. Y.
Weekly
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
CARE OF THE EARS.

Some Things That Should Not b
Never wear cotton in the ears II they
are discharging pus.
Never put anything into the car fo1
the relief of toothache.
Never attempt to apply a poultice "a
the inside of the canal of the ear.
Never drop anything into the ear until
It has been previously warmed.
Never use anything but syringe and
warm water for clearing the ears OF
pus.
Never strike nor box a child's ears;
this has been known to rupture the
druInhead and cause incurable deafness.
Never wet the hair Il you have any
tendency to deafness; wear an oiled
silk cap when bathing and refrain from
diving.
Never scratch the ears with anything
but tho finger if they itch Do not use
the bead Of a pin. hairpins. pencil tips
or anything of that nature.
Never Let the feet become cold and
damp. not ut with the back toward the
window, as these things tend to asgra-
vsAe any existing hardness of hearing.
Mover put milk, fat nor any oily sub
stance into the ear for the lelief Of pain,
for they soon become rancid and tend
to excite Inflammation. Simple wnrm
water win answer the purpose better
than anything else.
Never be alarmed If a living insect
enters the ear. Pouring warm water
into the canal will drown IL, when it viii
generally come 10 the surface and can
Be easily removed with the fingers. A
few puffs Of tobacco smoke blown into
tho ear will stupefy the insect.
Never NEEDLE with the ear If q for
eign body, such as a bead, button OF
seed enters ii. Leave it absolutely alone
until physician can attend tot More
demage has been done by the injudi-
ctous attempts at the extraction Of q
foreign body than could ever come from
fits presence in the ear.-Chicago Chron-
icle
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

about the country without getting into
squabbles with fellow travellers, led to
Inquiries by a reporter as TO the rule
of the seat in a sleeping car in the
United States. Who has the right to
the rear seat in a sleeping car section ?
was the question asked 1t was as
serted, on the one hand, that By rule or
law the holder of the lower berth ticket
had the right to the seat that enabled
him to ride facing the engine. The
claim was put forward, on the Other
hand, that he had no privileges in the
matter of seat before those of the up
per berth passengers.
There Is no law to govern IN the mat
ter and one sleeping car company has
rule covering the case and the other
hasn't. The Wagner company has
rule by which the holder of the lower
berth ticket is entitled to the rear seat.
The obvious reason is that commonly
the first arrivals at the ticket Office ask
for lower berths, and on the principle Of
first come first served the first conner Is
entitled to the choice of seats, which,
by common occupation, would mean
the seat enabling him to ride forward.
To that seas on the Wagner cars he IS
entitled
The Pullman company has no rule
IN the matter. The tickets OF neither
company call for particular seats with
In tho specified sections In ordinary
practice lower berth, Pullman passen-
gers get the rear seats, just as ON the
Wagner cars. The companies find that
the American public adjust their own
affairs pretty generally without pater~
nal oversight of the companies. An of
fcer Of one of the companies recalls
Just one instance where a passenger
raised a row over the matter Of q rear
seat; a corresponding officer OF the
other could not call to mind any in
stance.
On one railroad which operates it's
own sleeping cars from New York it
Is said that there is rule giving thu
lower berth passenger the rear seat
In some cases the railroad systems rem
der governing rule needless. For in
stance, a passenger from the west on
the pennsylvania road may leave New
York facing the engine, but on leaving
Philadelphia will find himself looking
toward the rear of the train instead of
In the direction in which the train is
carrying him. On the New York Cen
trail road the same thing happens at
Buffalo. The train goes in on a loop and
the engine is detached An engine
couples to what has been the rear car
and takes the train on toward Cleve-
land. More than one person has gone
to sleep feet foremost in a western
bound train going across central New
York in the evening and awoke to find
himself being carried head first into
cleveland in the morning.
1t is interesting to note that an Off
Ger of one of the sleeping car COM
panies is able TO say that he never knew
of a woman obliged to travel backward
in sleeping car seat.-N. Y. Sun.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
DO You Know

That the Frisco Line est. Louis and
San Francisco railway is positively
the only line running two daily through
passenger trains from Wichita TO st.
Louis, without change. leaving Wich-
tia at 1925 p. m, and 10:4U p. m, arriv-
ing in st. Louis at $50 p. m. and 1:15
a. m. The equipment of these trains
is first class in every particular, con-
sisting Of elegant reclining chair cars
(seats free) AID Pullman Palace Draw
ing Room SIeepers.
If you are going beyond st. Louis re-
member that connection with all lines
for the east, northeast and southeast
is made in the magnificent new Grand
Union station, st. Louis, the largest
and handSomest passenger station in
the world.
For sleeping car berths and all iufor-
nation relative to rates, routes, ETC.,
call on or address
w. TORREY. Agent,
Santa Fe Union Depot.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

sAs a new WOMAN" he said, Il sup
pose you will object to the wedding
ring as q symbol of mans tyranny"
s'Of course I shall" she replied. I'm
Ter no circumstances would / consent
10 wear such q thing. 1t is not essen
.ial to a marriage. and it stands for
all that is Objectionable in the mar
rage relation"
And on the same theory, he con-
tinued, 81 suppose you viii refuse to
wear an engagement ring aiso?
"Well-no," she answered slowly and
thoughtfully. That's very different
matter"
But, Theoretically it"
There is no use arguing" she inter
rupted. II don't care what 1t is the
oretically. Practically it is very often
diamond, while the wedding ring is
only plain gold, and that makes all
the difference in the worid."-Chicage
Post.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Statoamanlike Homo

The successful householder is never q,
q loss. Witness the following incident
from an exchange: A young English.
man was negotiating with dealer for
q horse. The horsepian expatiated on
the many good points of the animal
under discussion.
1T seems to me. Mr.. Muggins." re,
marked the young man, 'that the horse
has rather a big head"
The retort came at once: "Big cad.
big cad, do you call It? Why. Ieck O.;
Gladstone: what 'ead e, gal"
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

when Twilkens gets anything OF
his mind" said the busy man. ''he ia
always speaking of it as the question
of the hour I wonder what makes
him do that"
Il don't know, unless it's because
he expects to take up an hour a day
of your time explaining it."-Washing-
ton Star.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Telephone 1s9.
HALE RATE EXCURSIONS,

On dates named The Great Rock
Island Route will sell Excursion tickets
to the following points:
Omaha, Neb., August 10, IL and IS.
One fare for round trip.
Salt Lake City, Utah, August and
3. One fare plus 500 for round trip.
ST. Paul, Mimi, August so and Stst.
S700 from Wichita for round trip.
These are but a few Of the cheap eX-
cursion rates in effect this summer.
For full Information call on or ad-
dress, HAL ). RAY. u. p. A.
Phone Is0 Wichita. Kan.
-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

Mr.. Ferguson (who has been ready -
start TO the theater an hour or more)-
Laura. if you had to take . train for
heaven you would get left
Mrs Ferguson (buttoning her giOves)
II don't know whether would or not,
but if did catch II know / would have
to travel without any escogt-Chicaga
Tribune
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
AFev resrs Hence,

az wouldn't be as eccentric as thai
man is for worlds"
''Whar is his peculiar form OF eccea-
tricity?'
''He has never learned 10 ride BIZ
cycle"
Great Scottl"-Chicago Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

i, a.. rer1enc<r taat the Gr@s. Rock
Island Route q making very low rates
Amos, every y 5ers. u fact. Hals Rates
g many oosn:.
Nov = ne :irns 20 take the ioor-
r-eted ret. and fne Rock Is3sDd peo-
PIE are always glad % tgrnssa sucS In
formation as 30 rates. s0gses. etc. a.
y5s 5>xsTS
Trough rezt.bziis express trains Eifs
siesp<rs sat fire. Reclining Caasr cars
Cali n or a1ff<ss
PAoz< 10 BAL 3 RAY. d p. A.
W.eessz. kAa
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Al Santaskes Beach

wiclu-Tm going 20 have some bire-
Ash. A bluefsh. you know. ism. worth
a cent usless IL il sust ont Of the water.
When I'm az the shore always "a; "a
the bluefsh can get
IF you wsnt bluefsh. SIR. youIl hsv.
20 wait Until The train ge.s il from
the city. It's due IN about ten Minutes.
boston Trazscr,p..
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
The Appreciated ff.rsy.

Mr.. Boullion-Yes. sir, an a profes-
hionai cook, and 1; gives me pleasure %
think that belong 70 n profession that
Is fully appreciated When q psrticn-
larry p1ia;abl- dish Is set before yo1,
your gratitude goes out 10 the coos<,
does Z: oos7
2r Binks-weIl. 20 tell the truth,
ny gratitude generally goes out 70 The
waiter-N. Y Weekly.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
FACTS WORTHY OF STRONG
EMPHASIS.

The time from Wichita to st. Louis
via Santa Fe route and Kansas City in
Guiding thirty minutes lay over at Kan
eas City, is only 15A hours, making the
actual running time 14a hours. This is
the quickest time TO st. Louis. Smooth
track, elegant equipment and every
thing for comfort.
II going to St. Louis or beyond try
the quick time Santa Fe route.
Phone 139. W. TORREY,
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
SANTA FEE EXCURSIONS.

Salt Lake, Utah, August and s.
One fare plus $500 for the round trip.
Milwaukee, Wis, August % and "a.
One fare for the round trip
Omaha, Neb., August 15-17-1S. One
fare for the round trip.
ST. Paul, Mimi, August 80 and 81.
Fare SIT for the round trip.
Topeka, Kan, August 9-10-1I One
fare for the round trip.
For other information call on or ad-
dress, w. TORREY,
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

us Il true. my daughter. that you
and Charles have separated. and tina,
he has sent you an abusive poem?"
"Yes, father; we have parted forever.
don't mind that SO much, but his poem
was simply awful. He must have been
very angry when he wrote it."
HIN, no doubt; one of those poems
of passion eh ?"-Cpto-Dete.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Gratifying improvement.

II am glad TO see You are looking 80
much better than when met you Last
Miss Quickstep."
'Why, when was that, Mr.. Spoons
more?"
Last Thursday. on the boulevard.
You were riding q bicycle."-Chicago
Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Way Down.

Rugby What's the matter, Buggby.
You look like you didn't have friend
IN the world.
Buggby-I haven't. I couldn't grt
the loan of cent il I were starvin g.
I'm that far reduced. my boy, that 1
couldn't even borrow trouble.-Towp
Topics.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Phone 100.

The best way to Colorado is over the
Santa Fe Route. The fast train which
leaves Wichita at 3:45 p. m. arrives at
Colorado points the next morning. For
information call upon or address
W. TORREY. Agent.
Phone 129 Douglas Avenue Depot.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
The Ono Thing Necessary.

"Yes," said the wife of the man who
had become suddenly rich, I'VE are look
ing for a summer place. II you know
of one that's for sale"
II do" interrupted the caller. Il
know of a splendid place"
well, if it has hypheRated name.
like Sandtop-on-the-Hill, we'll very Like
" buy it"-Chicago Post.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
wher- Cupid Has Wheels.

IT love herr" he cried In frenzy;
love her." he did declare;
But, alas. we can never u,arryr"
And he wildly tore his hair.
"Ive money to pay the grocer,
The landlord could have his share
But my stipend is all too meager
To keep two wheels in repair"
Chicago Tribune
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
OMAHA. NEB., and RETURN
AT HALF EAREt

on August Is, Il and Is The Great
Rock Island Route VIII sell round trip
tickets TO Omaha. Neb., and return az
one fare round trip. Tickets good TO
return as late as sept. Is. REMEMBER
The Great Rock Island is the shortest.
buckets and best route.
HAL 5. RAY, u. p. a.
Phone 100 Wichita.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Frp,,~s, p,r.~rio.s.

Young Tutfer (wbo has been invited
TO calD-I hope won't have any dif-
fcuIty II finding vcur house, Aiss
Galloway
Miss Caitosny-oE. 10. dcnt thai.
you viii. Mr.. Tutt<r. Ion car tel tie
borse II this way: JEss before Soo
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Good Thing for Dyspeptics.

Mrs. Cumso-Jack, dear, what do you
think of the idea that food can be intro
the cathode ray?
Mr.. Cumso-Well, I think that would
be the ideal light luncheon.-Town
Topics.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, AND RE-
TURN FOR HALF FARE PLUS 81.
VIA THE MISSOURI PACIFIC RY.
Tickets on sale August and 8. good to
return on August 10 and p. The Mis-
souri, Pacific is the quickest and most
direct line from Wichita to Salt Lake
City, leaving Wichita at 5:15 p. m. you
arrive at Salt Lake City the second day
noon. Call at city ticket Office, ia
North Main street.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
HIST THINK OF TT

On August 7th and 8th the Great Rock
Island route will sell tickets to Salt
Lake City at one fare plus $500 round
trip.
A grand opportunity to make trip
through the Rocky mountains.
HAL S. RAY, D. P. A
61-4t Wichita, Kan
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Their Eirt Ouarr.i.

Young Honeymoon called his wife
dumping. Ten minutes later. when
he told her she was too heavy TO hold
on his lap. and she reminded him THAI
at dinner he said he didn't like heavy
dumplings, their first quarrel doomed
man.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

Ethel my dear. / rlCss deP-eca;s
your choice Of language Is 4 Necessary
In this intellectual aEe 20 use sang
"Yoa bet il is, mother. II yoa want -
Be urderstood-"-DeE7it Free Press
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
M.-, Force Of Habit

Force of habit is grea; thing"
What makes you think so?'
II Just saw Jawkins and his best
girl on . tandem, and they had tho
lamp turned down until IL was almost
.xssnguished- N Y World
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
rne,litle, Were Limited.

"I have here" snid the caller. -
short, humorous article, which have
written. on ice"
I'VE have no facilities for preserv-
ing such an article" said the editor.
You will find n cold storage warehouse
just across the river."-Chicago Trib-
upe.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
He Knew.

Teacher. with reading class. - Boy
(rcading)-"And she sailed down the
river" Teacher why are ships
called 'she'?" Boy (precociously alive
TO the responsibilities OF his sex)-"Be-
cause they need men TO manage them"
San Francisco Monitor.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

Mis-. Van Dyke-Don't you dance u
all, Mr.. De Witt?
Tom De Witt-No. I have neve-
learned how.
Miss Van Dyke-That's nothing; lots
Of men dance who have never learned
how.-Bav Civ Chat.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
n. R.usmh.,es Her.

Miss Singer-I wonder IL that rich
uncle of mine remembered me when he
made his will? ] used 70 sing for him.
Nj. LAWN sure he mus: have. He
hasn't left you anything. - Yonkers
Statesman
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

Johnny, having arrived at bis eighth
birthday. thought that it would BE- real
nice to write letter to his papa, and
this is the way lie began: NY dear
Papa-Whenever i am tempted 10 10
wrong l think of you and say: Get theo
behind me. Satan "-Tit-Pits.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Change.

New terrors now the old cfface
Mans woe he can't dispcl;
The campaign slogans now displace
The grewsoIne college yell
Washington Star
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

TAKE THE GREAT ROCK ISLAND
ROUTE TO THE REPUBLICAN,
CONVENTION AT TOPEKA.
One fare round trip. Tickets on sale
Aug. eth, 10th, and 11th. Trains leave
Wichita 1915 a m. and 9:35 a m, ar
irving at Topeka Cos a. m. and 1886 p. m.
respectively.
HAL S. RAY, D. P. A
S7-6t Wichita, Kan.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Evidently In E.rnest.

Gotham Dame-Do you think Mr..
Nicefellow is in earnest?
Daughter guesso. He asked me
last evening which one of your daugh'
tiers was your pet. and told him that
thought if all three were married you
would rather live with Clara or Dora
than with me.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Satisfaction.

Henly-Smith and Jones called each
other liar: Have they given each
other satisfaction yet?
Digby-Yss.
Henley-With fists or pistols?
Digby-No; they left it to COM
nittee Of two Of Jones friends and two
of Smiths to say who was the liar, and
the committee was evenly divided
Bay City Chat.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
EXCURSION RATES TO
GEUDA SPRINGS

VIA IlISOO LIN Z
The Frisco Line will sell tickets to
Geuda Springs and return during the
summer months limited so days. Trains
leave Wichita at 1925 p. m, arriving
at Geuda Springs at 4:46 p. m. return
ing leave Geuda Springs al 10:40 a. m,
arriving al Wichita at S:45 p. N.
". TORREY, Agent.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Hard Inns. inn...i.

"He is a mighty uHfucky man"
''In what way?'
We'll. he married TO get out OF .
boarding house"
"Yes? ''
"And now his wife runs one 20 sup
port him.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

"Yes," said the man in the straw
hat, "Sharpleigh tells me that he takes
bis religion into his business"
The man in the new tan shoes shud-
dered.
That's why I'm always scared to do
business with SharplcIgh," he returned
shaking his head.-N. Y. Recorder.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07
Highiy AppropFiate.

"Cncle George, what is q valedic-
tory"
Its the farewell address the girl
graduate reads TO her weeping class
mates the night before she packs her
trunk 10 visit among them oil SUMNER
Chicago Record
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-08-07

'N-. Munn!"
EYES, dear"
.When we were married didn't you
uy: with all my worldly goods thee
endow?'"
81 did"
Then fwant to know why you issue
them to me on the installment plan
In such very small lots, and only after
wearisome urging.~-Truth-