Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1896-10-28
BOWSER'S WATERLOO
ROUTED IN HIS ATTACK ON THE
SPELLING OF WOMAN.

He Was Doing vsliantly Until Ills Wife
Brought Out His Old Letters, and Then
They Were All Forgeries.
"Mrs. Bowser," began Mr.. Bowser
the other evening as he laid aside his
paper, Twill you take this pencil and do
a little writing for me?''
''Of course, DEAR" she replied.
"What do you want me to writer
1T wish you to write down about a
dozen words as give them to you. The
first word is Illegally.
eyes,
''Then 'advisability' and 'consan-
guinity.'"
"What use are you going to make of
them?''
'I'm just trying little experiment.
Now you may put down 'desideratum'
and 'multitudlnous.
''What is the experiment." asked
Mrs. Bowser.
"Why, I was just reading in the pa
per that not one woman out of so, no
matter how well educated, was thor
oughly up on photography. An editor
says that out of $50 communications
sent in by females an average Of one
word out Of every ten was misspelled.
"But men spell every word correctly,
I suppose?" sarcastically queried Mrs.
Bowser.
"They do. It seems to come perfectly
natural to them. It isn't woman's
fault, perhaps. It may be that nature
meant it that way. Now you can put
down the word 'destructibility.
''I'm not putting down any more
words" she said as she laid down the
pencil.
"Ohl Got mad, Ell? That's the way
with a woman. If some one said she
couldn't play on Jews harp as well as
a man, she'd get her nose up about it. -
II can spell as well as you can. Mr..
Bowser, and even better. Whoever
wrote about that little experiment. told
q falsehood.
"There you gol That's egotism and
mulishness combined. Didn't I explain
that nature never intended woman to
spell half her words rightp II she
dig1n t, then what's the use Of getting
mad about it? Of the four words you
wrote down you spelled half Of one Of
them correctly, and you ought to be
proud Of it."
II spelled every one Of them correct
ly," sine insisted.
..'Mrs Bowser, don't set your jaw that
way when you are addressing me! I am
speaking to you more in sorrow than in
anger. II you can't spell, why, them
"When did you become such a great
speller?''
"Orthography came natural to me,
Mrs. Bowser-perfectly natural was
spelling words rod long before was
seven years Old
"Oh, indeed! It's funny how many
mistakes you made afterward-when
we were engaged, for instance.
Mistakes in spelling? Be careful,
Mrs. Bowser! Don't let your anger lead
you to prevaricate. think wrote you
two Or three little notes while we were
engaged, and I'll bet million dollars
to cent that every word was correctly
spelled.
"You wrote me about 400 love let
ters, and I've got every one up stairs,
and you made scores Of mistakes. -
woman, said Mr.. Bowser as he
rose up and glowered at her, II pity
you'll When a person is driven to pre-
varication and perjury in order to carry
a point, it is sad, solemn thing. If l
had'-
She ran up stairs, and in the course
of three Or four minutes returned with
a great package of letters in her hand
and said:
Here are about so Of the bushel Of
letters you wrote me. We will now see
about the spelling You acknowledge
your handwriting, don't you?'
II acknowledge nothing, Mrs. Bow
nothingl They may be
letters Of mine, or they may be base
forgeries. :"
''They are your letters, Of course
Here is one in which you speak of an
azure sunset and an affinity Of souls
You spell it 'ashure' and 'afinety.'''
sNever-never on the face of this
earthr
ssept. aeenthaze.gre the NQqdA Hem