The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1896-05-09

Hs65u1a MHy1Ap th6 Hsup61nations
Afsf thS ffse EhhGn It Rylh's.

AFsr ths ffte Idndh.at Ry1h's.
1T is the squarest thing in the
world, Ella, said Hogan to his wife,
al. he eat rejecting ID his red shirt
at-&he kitchen window of the Ship
on Sunday morning, tits the quar-
est thing that when Dutchman or
Dae6 wants to take HE life, be
kills himself, but when an Irishman
wants to kill himself, sure an he
kills somebody else"
What's ailing you now?" asked
his wife; as she poured the coffee.
DRAW your chair and stop your
palayerin,. Its little good / have of
you ssince you broke the pledge.
Between the beer and the salt horse
you get at Ryan's Plug Hat, you're
no good to yourself or anybody else.
Pass your plate. But Bill Raines
will change your tune. Divil an
other free lunch you'll have, I'm
tellin' you. When you put Ryan's
wooden fork in your mouth, you
put other mems thoughts in your
head. Hold your cup. Me shins
are black and blue from the kickin'
you gave them last night"
at was the night horse / had,"
said Dan, with his nose in the cup.
"'Twas the salt horse you had.
Let Ryan's alone. Come home
from your work and 60 to bed like
a man and it's not dreamin' you'll
be-"
''It was the divil's own dream /
had, too" laughed Dan. / dreamt
was in hell, and
II don't wonder. Twas the chow
chow and the pickles you ate."
"Will you hold your tongue, wo-
man." said Dan, putting down his
knife.
"Am I sayin' a word?"
II dreamt was in hell and that
was runnin' for Alderman of the
Fourth ward. Me constituents
were the best men in the place. Ju-
illus Caesar, Tim Campbell, Socrates,
Johnny Simpson,, and lot more
of 'em. And there was Commits
sioner Waring.
"What was Waring doin' there?'
asked, Ellen. -.
s..Sure, he came to see how much
it costs to clean the streets that's
paved With only good intentions.
Then there was Senator Raines-
the saloon keepers sent him there.
All Of 'em, and others just as good,
were me supporters. The Convin-
tionswas called to order and | got
the nomination.
'sThe Father of Lies himself was
me hacker. He has pull there, so
he has, and there was pullin' and
haulin' to win. Me opponent was a
Populist, with snow.plow whiskers,
and begorra, the wind that blew
them stirred up the fires. He lost
friends on that account, and it
looked like a walkover for your
uncle. We found that Raincs hadn' t
been thirty days in the district,
though Pat Callahan said he ought
to have been, and longer.
"Was Pat there, too2" asked Ellen.
she was that. He said he could
get a license nowhere else. I:wasn't
within 200 feet of church.
"We were in the middle of the
row when there was loud knock.
ing at the gate.
"'Who's there?' asked Warden
Dunphy, who was still in the bust
ness.
"'Tom Platt,' answered voice
outside.
"'Come in said the devil. I've
heard of you. Parkhurst's beer
talking about you The gate
swung wide, and in:walked the Tic
gan, with Commissioners Lyman anc
the seyenty-two delegates to the St
Louis Convention behind him.
"'What does the sweet singer O
Oswego wish2' said the Devil, max
ing a four-in-hand of his tail.
81 want to hook this delegation,
said the Easy Boss. It's no hotter
here than it will be in st. Loui.
inIJune. Hello. Simpson l dom
see Milholland around. It's jus
sswsH. This place isn't big enough
for both of US. What's that sigr
there?' pointing to the door.
.'Pull,' answed the devil, i'm
pressed with the manner Of tn.
Easy Boss.
"'Take it off, said Plat. Moth
ing shall have a pull here, not ever
q door, if it doesn't swing my way
The whole thing hinges on that
Why are those fires burning at thi
time of day?'
1--WE expect few members o
the Union League began the devil
Rake them down. I'll make i
warm enough for the Union League
myself
"The devil was fast losing tn,
respect of the congregation.
"Where's your license asked
Plat. Get this mans license h,
added, turnin' to Lyman, and i
you find he sells sandwiches for les