Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-12-18
W'ashinatuu Standard
MY OWN DECEASE.
In which "A .nateriaiiZed" Spirit
aSCertains What People Think
OF Him After lie Has Shuffied
OFF This Mortal COii..'

Although undoubtedly had been
very III. am 10y II" means certain Ui
my facts at about this time; 80
whether was a victim oi Il little too
much indulgence in the flowing bowl,
or oi lively Imagination or nf "A hyp
motto trance, really cannot say; any
way, one morning seemed t. bc con-
scious that | was talking with a demon,
who sat 10y my bedside. He was a
very pleasant sort OF fellow and not
bad looking, but somehow knew that
he was Il demon.
Would You like to hear what they
are saying about You and GO to your
own funcral?' he asked pleasantly.
"Pcoplc generally do attend that
ceremony personally" | suggested;
then after a moments reflection, |
asked: "Am dead, thcn?'
"Oi course Did YOU not know it?'
of did it must have escaped my
memory" | replied impurturbably.
"Well, you are dead, but | will give
you the remarkable power of going
among your family in the spirit and
invisible to them"
"That's very kind of you, but I've
heard you people seldom perform
services for nothing. What recon-
pense do you require?"
None. The penalty you will pay
will be sufficient reward to me-"
What penalty?"
"To see yourself rs others see you,
and hear what they say of YOU"
My friend then dematerialized HIM
self into thin pale air, snd the next
moment was gliding noiselessly
down the stairs.
l should explain to you that am
an orphan, without parents, but a
member of a large family; sisters,
brothers, cousins and all the rest of it.
I happen to have more money than
any of the others, and have hitherto
been much sought after on account of
my excellent personal qualities. am
not married. Well, the fact is, am
of rather retiring disposition, and
not having yet come across a girl who
would help me out with the prelimi-
naries, / had not found courage to
take the fatal plunge. NV eldest Sis
ter, Priscilla, had therefore been keep
ing house for me.
Ipassed easily through the closed
parlor door without opening it, which
was very convenient, and found my
self, unseen by them, in the midst of
relatives from different parts of the
country. They were waiting breakfast
for some important person who had
not yet made his appearance. I was
foolish enough to think it might be
myself and sat down in my customary
seat at the foot of the table, but of
course, no one saw me. had forgot
en- for the moment that / was dema-
terialized spirit. Soon, however, the
door opened and the important indi-
vidual entered the apartment. 1t was
my eldest brother, Tom. Now began
to understand. He was my executor
and residuary legatee. He represented
me, the late Crawley Slowquicker,
Esq, deceased, hence all the court and
reference paid to him. This was alb
surd, you know, for bigger fool never
lived.
Well, he made straight for my chair,
and sat down where 1 was sitting!
This was stepping into my shoes with
vengeance-actually usurping the
same place occupied by my disembod-
led spirit. Tom was bulky fellow,
and felt the affront. Besides, wish:
ing better to watch the proceedings, 7
got up quickly and sat behind my
chair.
Two things especially attracted my
attention, and somewhat shocked me.
In the first place, Priscilla's presiding
seemed more lavish than under my
regime, and in the second, I was
struck by the happiness and gayety of
the whole company. This was calcu-
lated to take my faulty down a few
pegs, for had fondly imagined that
my death would plunge my entire
family in the uttermost depths of de-
spair. But it hadn't.
81 never like going into black"
Priscilla was saying in her even tones
to Aunt Gwen, it's so very unlucky."
Al don't mind the change at ALL"
said Aunt Gwen, the color just suits
me, you know. But l really can't tell
VIM OiuciS W SNCi iiot uOWluS uOW
1 am provided for"
"That's as good as asking" said
Tom, with one of his horrible laughs
which I used to consider SO hearty.
"a mods as good as wink to blind
horse. 1 suppose the regular thing is
to read the will after the funeral, but
as it's all among ourselves it doesn't
matter, and I'll read it to all directly
after breakfast"
Then they started talking about
their late relation, Crawley Slow
quicker, and the things I heard about
myself positively astonished me.
They were all sadly deficient in the
bump of reverence, and found that
not one of them entertained that
respect and affection for me of which
I had imagined they were all pos
sessed.| Now fully realized the truth