The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1896-03-26
BACHELOR AND BABY
Seaside Incident in Which a Runaway
PerambulatOr Took Part.
PREPARING FOR THE IMPACT
His Crustiness Now Convinced of
the Utter Depravity of In
fants-A Refractory
Youngster.

venture with a baby which has con-
WINGED me of the absolutely unintelli-
gible nature of these little creatures
/ had never met one before. and l have
had quite sufficient warning to be care
full of ever meeting one again.
1t happened in the simplest manner.
j had for some time been looking for
specimen of a certain shell-voluta YES
pertilio. j think-in which the interior
spiral turned from right to left. instead
of in the usual way. / have never
found it, and that day l was returning
from the beach after one of my usual
fruitless searches. The place seemed
quiet and solitary enough as l began
my walk up from the sea to the town
by the zig-Zag paths cut in the chalk
cliffs. / had just turned the first cor
ner and was at the bottom of an up
ward slope, the longest of the three
paths forming a great u, hewn in the
face of the rock.
At the extreme end of the cutting,
far above me, could just distinguish
the futtering ribbons OF a nurse maid
on her way down from the main street
of the town to the seashore. / was max
ing a leisurely examination of her dress
and bearing, as far as could be seen
from so far off, when / realized, at first
without much surprise. that she was
wheeling a small baby carriage before
her.
l began to speculate idly how she
would manage to push il up again If
the tide caught the base of the cliffs
before she could walk round the fiat
sandy strip bordering the sea, where 1
had been looking for my voluta. Be
fore / could see the white OF her eye
the woman evidently became conscious
that was looking at her and my peace
full walk was very rudely interrupted
by series of most unexpected and an
noying occurrences.
l heard a faint scream from above
and saw the girl throw her hands over
her head and let go Of the baby car
riage. which Immediately approached
me with rapidly increasing velocity.
AS far as / know. / was totally unac-
quainted with the baby that from
distance of some so yards was about to
hurl itself into my arms; nor was there
much room 10 meet even ones best
friend. The cliff rose to my right clear
upward to the town, and from the four
foot path descended sheer again toward
the sea. In the few moments that
elapsed after the nurses inexplcable
conduct / had barely time TO remem-
Der that / should be safest backed
against the rock. with my feet so sup
porting me that any sudden shock
would drive me inward and not roll me
out beyond the unprotected path upon
the seashore many feet below.
l had hardly steadied myself in this
position when l realized that l might
experience the almost equally unpleas-
ant sensation of the immediate demoli-
ton of the baby before my very eyes;
and loose stone on the path might turn
the light wheels of its carriage over
the edge. Scarce 20 yards above me i
could see a loose Stag of chalk, and /
had just grasped what danger it in
volved, when the perambulator i'm full
IN mo IN tn an haa lez
struck il sharply. the hind wheels rose
unsteadily and the whole thing upset
comparatively with a crash.
By some miraculous chance IL had not
left the safe side of the path. The
wheels were still revolving on the top
as l ran up to eXtricate what little
scraps of humanity might be left be-
meath ii. 1t was my duty ard ! did it
but / never wish to put another baby
carriage right side up on only four feet
of a cliff-side path.
The little creature within, l found
was so tightly strapped by a leather
belt across it's middle that Il had been
saved from injury in the hollow formed
up the upturned machine. and as soon
as l had unfastened the buckle IL be-
came very red in the face and shrieked
loudly. evidently considering me to be
the sole cause of its embarrassment
Though this seemed to show that there
was hp dbHOiuNtlg ldNdi INJURY YET IL
struck me as ungrateful and l was con-
siderably perpleXed to observe the child
making persistent efforts to scramble
away and hurl itself over the cliffs. APP
parently preferring death to my com
partnership.
was not assisted by any previous ex-
perience of such a situation, but II
seemed a time when ceremony was
useless. so ! took hold of one end. lifted
II out and stood IL upright. holding
both its hands i'm mine. Its entire
length was about half that of my UNI
brella.
While engaged in more closely ex-
aiming its features, l unthinkingly let
go OF one hand. and its protesting
screams reminded me that IL could
hardly be of an age when locomotion
was possibility.
So once more / grasped IL firmly as
before. and when its shrieks had sub
sided into sobbing, and that again into
a troubled kind of quick breathing
which seemed to indicate that il was
striving to master its emotions at this
unwonted treatment from total
stranger, / proceeded to address il as
politely as ! could, pointing out the inn
propriety of our remaining much longer
clasping one another's hands i'm a posi-
ton which might have given rise to
most unjustifiable comment. / got no
Ineligible reply. save that it's eyes,
which were OF a peculiar and unyield-
ing black, grew even larger and
rounder than before. and never ceased
their fixed stare at my face and per-
son.
AS the creature made no suggestion
] attempted to rise and lead IL gently
upward. But with a yell of disgust IL
proceeded to entangle itself in my legs
and nearly threw both Of us over the
edge. In despair / tried TO lift ii from
the ground Its head promptly as
stunned a downward attitude. and one Of
its shoes stuck in the breast pocket Of
my coat. This was evidently consid-
cred an organized attempt at outrage
on my part, and its yells became ap-
palling. At last ] arranged it's anat-
omy a little more gracefully. and. rest
ing its chin upon my shoulder. held its
body firmly against mine with both
my arms and proceeded slowly to as
cend.
LIZ nag NOT q cnr..oninrt ...ninI,t a