The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-04
WILL SOCK IT TO JOE.
"ie THAs ANY LAW THAT'S WORTH .
DuRN," SAYS wAYBAcK GEORGE.

Tho Simpsons and the Piums Engage In
Neighborly PIcasantriss Over the Circus,
Hopes Up aud Then Down, and tho Same
Thing Over Again.
"If thas any law that's worth durn,
then I'm gointer sock 1t on to Joe Plum
an make him sweat" said Wayback
George Simpson at Geeville, In the hem
lock belt. There are two George Simpsons
In that neighborhood, 30 they call one
Wayback George because he lives eight
miles back in the hills, and the other
Handy-by George because he lives only
three miles down the creek. This Is SO
they won't mix tho two Georges up.
IL s'pose ye herd about the circus that
showed over TO town last week." said
wayback George. First circus that's
been anyways nigh this deestric' In five
year. Last one that come along me an
the old woman got free tickets for lcttin
the Snowman stick some pictur's on our
cowshod door, an we was fcelin torable
good over this one, too, for tina wasn't no
doubt hut what they'd want to use that
COW shed door agin fer pictur's. Sure
enough, they drove into our place, jist
ahead o. the big thunderstorm that sloshed
things around In the dcestrc' SO pcriniscu-
Gus. asst 'em into the house, an we signed
for tho barn door ug'in l made an all
fired good bargain with 'ein, fer they
thruwed In tickets fer the man catin can
nibals an the pig that plays keerds. jest
ez they was signing fer the tickets piece
o. light busted right over the farm an
swooped down onto that COW she'd In less
time than kin tell yc that shed was blaz
In, an ther wasn't no door left for to put
the pictur's on. Course that ended the
| deal, an / felt sorry fer the ole woman, feI
| she had set her heart on goin to the show,
| an she took on awful cause ther wasn't
nothin left o. the shed TO paste show pic.
tur' on. Some folks mowt "a thought that
Sairy ID "a felt worse over the cow bein
| killed in the shed by the lightnin than
over the wipin OF o. the face o. the earth
IF u by slab door, but sctch folks haln't
Acquainted with Sairy's ycnrnins.
"'Cows hain't -skeerce,' said Sairy, but
I'll bate tha won't be another circus with.
In 100 miles o. this deestric' in 40 year!
she says, specially one with keerd
playing pig an q man eatin cannibal, she
says.
well, that lightnin made me an the
ole woman goin to the circus look leetlt
out o tho question, an things was gloomy
about my clecrln. Sol Parker owed m,
considerable on chopin job, but Sol hat
run poorly well to cmptyins on cash, al
tina wasn't much show for my ever gittir
any from him, but Sairy had an idee
"'You go over to Sol Parkcr's,' sh'
says, an tell him that ye hate to pcste
him, cause ye know he's u lectle close t.
, the wind, but that tha's circus comm
an sumpin must be did Tell him, say
Sairy, that yo'll take that ole sheep o
! 4. ~ CHI
show folks has got to hev meat fer thei
animals, says she You kin trade zen
that sheep fer tickets fer the show, say
Sairy.
Il went over to Soils, an he wasn't n
ways slow in takin mo up, for l don
s'pose he could "a got more'n seven shillil
for his old eve. l druv the sheep home
an things cheered up the powerfulest kind
"Joe Plum lives Jest beyond me, an h
never had no COW shed nor nothin else tina
anybody could stick a show pictur' ON, a
so when no heard that l was spectin {
a hire my shed door fer tickets to the sho'
l. he was madder'n snake, cause he didn
), hcy no kind o. chance o. gettin there his
h self. When he heerd that my shed wa
eat I'D by lightnin, an that the deal fc
3. tickets was off, Joe come over a-grinni
n meaner'n hyeny.
$50 we've changed yer mind bout goi
3 to the show, hev YEP says he to me. 1t
r. goin ter be hummer, they tell me, say
he.
II didn't say much to Joe, fer know
he couldn't go nuther, an that was son
consolation, fer If he'd ben a-goin l thin
I'd had to Jump on him right there a
thump him so he couldn't IA got out fer
month. made big mistake not a-doi
1t, tell vel
well, when 1 got Soils sheep, an il
- Plum heerd what / werc calc'latin to {
with it, he got maddcrn he was aforc q
come over an said he had his idee o. foil
that trade off an inherent sheep fer liol
an taggers to cat, jest to git in an see
circus that wasn't goin ter mount
much anyhow. An ! laughed ut Joe, ,
twitted him cause he couldn't go to q
show, an asst him how much OF his clear
he'd give to be me an Sairy on show ia
4 Joe was all but crazy, an most felt sor
fer him to think what we was goin Ter s
an he was goin ter miss.
1.-THE lnornin fore show day went
take look at the sheep, an the sheep W
gone! a bar had come down outen t
woods, killed my sheep an cat the me
Of it right on the premises, without Il
\ ever gettin an inklin of it. Sniry swoon
cd dead away when told her, an l fl
like singin Hank, From tho Tombs'
THROWN ashes over me. When Sairy col
to, she give few gulps mn then says
me:
Don't you say word SO that
Plum's folls'll hear O. this, she sa.
I'D ruther go right over Jurdan Il
minute than hear them Plums a-gloat
cause can't git to see the showP says 81
80 / KEEP mum, an we gloomed
gloomed for a couple O. days. Then
w Plum come over, GRIMM wuss'n ever.
~ didn't sec you nor Sairy to
show says he. 1T was a hummer s,
/ he.
How do ye knowr says l.
, "'Me an my folks was there says
chucklin.
II most fell dead.
"Ycs,' says he. The mornin 4
the show seen big bar sneakin HI
quarterin from your place here off to'a
!. the woods, says he. 4 got my gun
,peaked around ahead o. the bar, S
he, an headed it off. only had to sh
him wunst. Who d. ye think bought hi
nd The head Snowman. He give me $50
him an tickets fer me an Hammer an
W. the young uns Sorry you an Sa
changed yer minds, says Joe. 'Ye mis-
a heap says he.
Now I'm down here s'archin fer Il
If thais any law that's worth durn,
- gointer sock 1t onto Joe Plum an III
him sweat That bar stole my sheep
knocked me an Sairy outen the show.
killed the bar that had my sheep in
Of him an gifts to the show that the
knocked mo an Sairy out of. II that ha
sheep stealth, its excess'ry arter the
by gallinippers! An If don't make
Plum sweat, then tina hain't no law til
worth durnl'-New York Sun.
A Battle Over WhlaI<ers.
st. Louis is the scene Of lively
tie between organized employers
| kha 1aisitarh In hutula aud lshlalIa