Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-06-11

tied in bows, were attached to the edge
of the sheet of writing paper. The pic
ture of a rather prepossessing young
woman also tumbled out. At the head
of the slip of paper was the Introductory
phrase: Leap year." Below was the
following:
If to me your heart is true
Send me back my bow of blue;
Ii of me you some time think,
Send me back my bow of pink;
If to me your heart is dead,
Send me back my bow Of red;
II of me you some time dream,
Send me back my bow of green;
II you're some others fellow,
Send me back my bow of yellow;
Ii you wish me to elOpe.
Send back my bow of heliotrope;
II you want me for your bride,
Send me back my bow of white;
II you want me to come back,
Send me my bow of black;
II there is any hope,
Send me back my bow of rope
The neatest part of the whole affair,
and the most maddening, so Mr.. DepeW
says, is that the woman incloses her
picture to tempt and then closes in a
tantalizing way:
If the writer's name you guess,
Send this bow to her address.
There is no address and no way to
find it. Mr.. Depew gets many peculiar
letters, but yesterday there was run OF
them. A young girl wrote and said that
she was proud, but poor. Those around
her who were Intellectually and physi-
cally her interiors were possessed of
more money, and that it caused her
shame to be looked down upon. She
wanted $1,000 to get new clothes and
cut dash. Then she informed Mr. De-
pew that she would willingly come to
him. She also enclosed her photograph.
Another writer was youth in Penn
syIvania. His letter ran: Dear Mr.. De
Pugh: | am told you drew up the mar
riage contract between the Duke of
Marlborough and Miss Con Vanderbilt
please let me know if you could assist
me to win an heiress / would be willing
to pay you literally for your services. /
am worth about $685. 600 in cash. New
York Tribune.
Her Admirer- well, Reggie! How''s
your sisters cold. eh . Her Little
Rrother-"Oh that's all right. But she's
got a jolly big corn."-Moonshine
Mistress-"Now, Sarah, I want you to
be very careful about breaking this vase.
1t cost a great deal of money, and |
would hate to have it carelessly broken
the first thing"
Sarah three days later)-"There's
your vase, ma'am, and l couldn't have
broke it more carefully if I'd tried for
-:O-:
Customer-"Why do you always re-
late those horrid robber stories and 9th
er uncanny adventures when you are
cutting ones halr!
Hairdresser-"Because they make peo-
Pies hair stand on end, and it is thus
much easier to cut
A writer let's out a secret regarding
in hi oh
novels. 1t was in the car, and two girls
were talking of what they read. "Oh,
| choose a novel easily enough, one
said. II go to the circulating library
and look at the last chapters. If l find
the rain softly and sadly dropping over
one of two lonely graves, l don't have
it; but if the morning sun is glimmering
over bridal robes of white satin l know
it's all right and take it, and start to
buy sweets to eat while l read it. =
Clips.
Mrs. Forefat-'"This being SO poor is
terrible, isn't it?' Mrs. Topflore-.ln-
would have nervous prostration tomor-
row.'-Truth.
On the Ms plantation in Missis-
sippi lives an old before the war darby,
too old to do any work harder than
throwing feed to the poultry She has
known no other home and is character
Visitors to the plantation always go to
her cabin, and to their question How
are YOU this morning, Aunt Christ
never fail to receive the following re-
ply: ''Well honey, I'm kinder oncompli-
Gated De supertiuity of de mornln done
taken de vivosity outen de air and lett
me de consequence oh comprehension. =
Harper's Magazine.
A convenience designed for country
houses where no ice IS to De hao, Is a
large covered pail lined with charcoal.
In this pail. if kept in cool place. water
is said to remain as fresh and cool as II
just taken from the well.
IT was at a state ball The English
man and the American girl were talking
over some of those present, when the
Englishman asked:
THAT is Lord b who mas ; Just
passed you. Have you met himy'
Yes" was the answer. land thought
he was extremely dull.
You surprise me-, said he. He is
one of the most brilliant lights of our
service"
Really she replied ''Then it is my
turn to be surprised. His light flick
cred so when he talked with me that l
set him down as one of your tallow
diplomats '-Harper's Magazine.
The giraffe has tongue eighteen
inches long. What mercy it is for the
gentlemen CRATES that the lady CRATES
do not understand how to talk.-Commer-
cial Advertiser.
Robbie Papa, what is dictates
sen?
Mr.. Ferry-"It means delicate eating,
such as limburger picked herring and
the ike.''-Cincinnati Enquirer.
In a certain school some of the classes
are deep in the study Of physiology.
They seem TO take a great interest in
it, and are disposed to be painfully ac-
curate about their answers TO questions.
The other day i review was i'll order
(which of you children" asked the
teacher. "can tell me in what part of
your body your heart is situated?' a