The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1896-06-26

And realized his doom.
The gate shut with clang
That to the cranesman sounded drear
And Peter CURLY said: Move on;
For you are not wanted here
For every one who came from earth
And knew you where yon dwelt,
Said, as they passed the portal,
Your head was BADLY swelled;
THAT no ones hat would fit you
And your skull ran to a peak
And that you thought you owned the
earth;
so, come now, take a sneak
go back thousand miles or SO
And take the downward turn
And count the ties to Shcol for
You're ticketed to burn
The cranesman tried to run bluff
But buffing had no force
For Peter only scowed and said
"Iour work is a trif1e coarse;
No srist of talk will help your case
For it must now appear
To even your dull senses that
You'll run no wh:zzers here.
While On the earth you showed yourself
tyrant and a jay
But you can't boss this job because
We are not built that way'
Upon the noble crancsmans spook
st. Peter turned his back;
The interview was over
Spookie took the backward track.
He took the other road and as
lie sped tho pathway DER
He Gid a little thinking
Which he'd never done before;
Hc swore he'd boss old Satan
And St. Peter'd rue the day
He turned him from the skies
And send him into Satan's way
His ghostly pride WAS hurt to think
He was in such a strait,
And whilc he ravcd and cursed and swore
lie came to Hclls dark gate.
AS he came down the avenue
Beneath the gloomy skies
He breathed the sulphurous fumes of He'll
And heard it's wailing cries.
In fancy he could feel the claws
OF demons Oh his neck;
He tried and tried but all in vain
His hcadlong speed to check.
The gruesome gate flew open
To receive the shricking wretch
And the scorching furnlce blasts Of He'll
Swift sucked him to the depths.
thousand grlnning fends
Composed him on every hand
And they soused him in the birthstone
And they prodded him with brands.
They threw him in the lake Of fire
And yanked him to the land,
They tossed him on hot pitchforks
And they strangled him with sand;
They fed him red hot lava,
Curdled milk and Schweitzer cheese,
And the smallest devil in the gang
Banged him around with case.
They frozc him in the solid ice
Up to his classic chin,
And then they took Il red hot iron
And thawed him out again.
They dragged him by his Auburn hair
ACROSS a bed of Goals,
They dragged him over horseshoe nails
And filed him full of holes.
They slid him down an emery chute
Which took off half his skin
And then they took hot mucilage
And stuck it On again.
They had q holy picnic
Ere they began to tire
And when they had enough Of it
They chucked him in the fire.
Three days and nights they left him there
To sizzle, fry and brown;
And then they came and sized him up
To see if he were done.
But 10! the cranesman's spool was there
Quite fresh and bright he seemed;
And so they quickly run him through
Weinerwurst machine.
And Satan said, and grimly smiled,
Hes long and lank and lean
But he won't do for fuel because
He won't burn; he's too green!
"There's no place at all for him
Around this mansion house,
And so they took him back to earth
And fed him to the COWS.
w. I. F.
irgnia, Mimi, June 25, 1885,