davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07
THE FREE SILVER HUMBUG.
1t Is Time for the Honest Sentiment ef
the Country to Assert Itself.


The past ten years of free silver agita-
ton show that it's triumphs have been
confined to the mouths of a few free
silver men. We have been told, from
first to last, that the south was hot for
silver; that the west was burning for
it; that the entire country was frantic
for it, with the exception of little
patch touching the Atlantic coast north
of the Delaware. All humbug.
With trifling exceptions free silver
has been swept from the field of battle
every time it ventured there. All that
it has been able to do has been to talk.
1t has been beaten out of sight every
lime, and conclusively. Not a state in
the union, barring perhaps Mississippi
or Utah, could be carried to-day for
free silver. The modification that must
follow this fact has no doubt stimu-
lated the silver men in the senate to
make a last desperate stand in vindi-
cation of themselves. They have been
repudiated by the country on all sides.
They are without following and with.
out authority to disturb us further
with their theory. But they have the
votes in the senate and they propose
to use them. They hold the fort; and
what shall we do about it?
1t is for the country to lash these
modern free lances with the truth.
They are buccaneers for their own van
ity. They are using the commissions
<-;,a,. x< thar, b,, THAR constituents 10,
purposes which their constituencies con.
denim. Let them hear from the public
soon and with emphasis.--N. Y. Sun.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07
kARLIEsT yEGFrABLEs ALWAYS Paw.

EARLIEST VEGETABLES ALWAYS PAY.
That's so, the editor hears Mr.. Mar
ket Gardener say. Well, why don't you
have them? Simply because you don't
plant Salzer's northern growth seeds.
His vegetables are bred to earliness and
they never disappoint you. Salzeris the
largest grower of vegetables, farm
seeds, grasses, clovers, potatoes, etc.
If YOU WILL CUT THIS OUT AND SEND
1t to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis, with Toe postage you will
get sample package of Early Bird Rad
ish (ready in 1e days) and their great
catalog. Catalog alone SC postage. (K)
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

THERE Is more Catarrh in this section of
the country than all other diseases put to-
gcther, and until the last few years was sup
years doctors pronounced it a local disease,
and prescribed local remedies, and by con-
stantly failing to cure with local treatment,
pronounced it incurable. Science has proven
catarrh to be a constitutional disease, and
therefore requires constitutional treatment.
Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured by +. ].
constitutional cure on the market 1t Is
taken internally in doses from 10 drops to a
teaspoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system. They
offer one hundred dollars for any case Il
fails to cure. Send for circulars and testi-
monials. Address F. j. CHENEY & Co., To
ledo, 0. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07
ANTI-SILvER STRENGTH.
summing Up the sound-Mouey Votes In
the Senate.

cumming Up the sound-Mouey Votes In
the Senate.
A roundup of votes for sound money
on both sides of the senate chamber
Is in progress with a view to the coming
test of strength on the free-silver sub
stitute for the bond bill. 1t has resulted
thus far in O. count of IA democratic and
81 republican votes against the meas
ure-41 in all out of possible 81, or
three short of a majority. This is a
better showing than anyone expected
when the count was proposed. There
may be bacllslider or two when it
comes to a vote on the passage of the
bill; but even with such margin, the
obvious hopelessness of any attempt
10 pass it a second time over q veto will
cast chill on the spirits of the sill
verites for the rest of the session.
In the house the bill is dead and bur-
led already In advance, and the silver
senators know it. Their only purpose
in the world, in foolipg with the thing
now, is to be able to point to the senate
vote as evidence that the free-silver
cause is still far from dead, though
manned beyond power to do serious
harm. This will enable them to threat
I'll the sound-money men, when neces-
sary, and compel extra consideration,
in appropriation bills and the like, for
the interests which the silver senators
represent, and in the defense of which
they could find an excuse for uniting.
IN. Y. Post.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

ter retire; as wife and mother of a fam.
lily l.
Miss Hunch-Certainly not; we wei.
come any witness, and, after all, we owe
much to married women, since every
one of them is Curtius who, by leap
into the chasm of publicity, may save
doomed multitude!
Mrs. Clare Graham (laughing)-Gra-
cious! did not know l could leap any
where. Pray tell me how it is done?
Miss Hunch (glaring through herspec-
tacles)-The subject is too serious for
trifiing. Marriage is calculated to pen
the free instincts of the feminine COM
munity. You know our motto: ,Aut
yjam inveniam aut faciam?
Mrs. Egerton-I see it all over the
room, but that doesn't tell me what it
means.
Miss Hunch-It means that we will
find road out of our bondage or make
one.
Mrs. Clare Graham (giggling)-Sail
from Scylla into Charybdis, Ell? You
see / allow the tragedy of both destina-
tions.
Miss Hunch (sarcastically)-A kind
concession, but frivolous; still we pre-
fer the risk of the unknown to the hor-
Tor of the known.
Mrs. Graham to Mrs. Egerton (asiale)
What on earth does she mean? How
many times has she been married?
Mrs. Egerton (aside) - Hush. You
mustn't offend the prejudices of the
club. All, how do you do, Miss Darlish?
Dora Darlish Goining them) =
Charming rooms. aren't they? So glad
to see you here, Clare.
Mrs. Clare Graham-Thank you. but
feel like fish out of water. It takes
q long time to cultivate amphibious-
ness
Dora-O, we're not amphibious-we
mean to keep high and dry
Mrs. Clare Graham-I thought you
didn't forswear love and romance and
nll that kind of thing, but
pora-Nor do we; we look on love as
the divine revelation of life
Mrs. Clare Graham-O! And then?
Dora-When love has ceased to be
love, we
Mrs. Clare Graham-Scramble to the
bank to sun yourselves till ready for
another dive? Unjust tell Charlie
Dora-Don't. You will put wrong
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

Chorus of "Tbe Celibates" with
clasped hands)-We solemnly swear
that, however pressed to marry. we will
retuse.
Mrs. Clare Graham quilting Dora to
her side)-Dora. / am Disguised with
you. Only yesterday you gave my
brother book with an inscription.
Dora-Well?
Mrs. Clare Graham-I read it-there
was something about "Pure romance of
love, Idyllic and ideal as could be, All
policy and prudence far above"
Dora-Fm not ashamed of it. Why
shouldn't our love be idyllic and ideal +?
Why should wedlock of soul mean pad.
lock of individual?
SCENE II: MRS. GRtIIAM's DRAWING ROOM.
Charlie Cheyne and his sister, Mrs. Clare
Graham, are seated.)
Mrs. Clare Graham-Now, have told
you the whole story surely you don't in
tend to proceed with your absurd court
ship?
Charlie mean to marry Dora, If
that's what you are driving ut.
Mrs. Clare Graham-It's impossiblei
However much she wanted to accept,
she would be bcund--as q matter of
honor--to refuse
Charlie (stroking his chin contempla-
tively)-After all, marriage is merely a
matter of form, and if it pleases Dora
Mrs. Clare Graham (warmly)-To
please Dora you'll let James hoy inherit
the estates?
Charlie-Still Dora loves me, and she
will do anything ask.
Mrs. Clare Graham (rising irately to
leave the room)-I tell You she won't!
Women with convictions are obstinate
as Cork pigs.
(Enter Dora in a Partisan bonnet.)
Charlie-Oh, Dora, here you are!
We've been expecting you for hours.
Dora--I'm afraid I've disturbed the
conversation; see Clare is ruffied.
Mrs. Clare Graham (abruptly)-No:
/ was going out. Good-by. (Shc goes
out.)
Dora-She is in a huff with me about
something. Why?
Charlie OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES is
she was angry with me.
Dora-About?
Charlie-Oh, because you end 1 agree
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

with each other so well on all subjects,
marriage included.
Dora dressing his hands)-My be-
loved!
| Charlie-I said it was a rotten insti-
tution-or something of the kind.
Dora (charmingly)-An effete con-
ventionality-
Charlie Quitting his arm around her
waist)-Only suited to reckless people
who risk the disappointments of the
future for the effervescence of the pres
| ent. :.
Dora-What did she say?
Charlie-She began to talk about nv
sisters boy inheriting the property, as
| though we cared.
Dora--Will he?
Charlie-Of course. It's entailed.
But he's fine lad, and we, who will be
all in all to each other, need not grudge
| IL him.
Dora (thoughtfully)-I suppose not.
Charlie-I believe that is the source
OF James affection for me. She knows
how safe l am in the matter of mar
riage.
Dora-Then you have never contem-
plated it?
Charlie OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
Dora (horrified)-And you made love
to me without any idea of proposing?
Charlie-You forget; you explained
your creed at the outset.
Dora (paling)-Then you Deliberate
ly availed yourself of the opportunity
Charlie drawing his mustaohe over
the corners of his lips)-Of adoring q
girl whose theories correspond with
my own? Yes.
Dora with tears in her eyes)-Oh!
You mean-you would not have loved
me il your courtship had involved mar
rage?
Charlie-I can't say. We both abhor
TO be handicapped by localities. don't
We? We both enjoy the same rights Of
independence
Dora (rising angrily) Then, If low
ing me had necessitated the surrender
of your liberty you could not have done
it?
S"'HS \SaihCotiyJ -SOulu you!
Dora (sobbing)-Could 1? 1 would
have loved you always.
Charlie (taking her in his arms)-I
would have loved you in the same way.
Dora-Not If I had wanted to marry
you?
Charlie won't say. You never put
me to the test.
Dora (excited!y)-But IL 1 should?
oh, Charlie-tell me, would you-won't
you--Inarry me?
Mrs. Graham enters, and, finding
them in each others arms, prepares to
leave.)
Charlie-Clare! We want your con-
CALCULATIONS. Dora has proposed to me,
and am to name the happy day.
Mrs. Clare Graham-What! And how
about her oath?
Dora (blushing)-Oh, 1 only vowed
that, however pressed to marry, / would
refuse. But was not pressed; was /,
Charlie?
Charlie (sedatelyl certainly not
Black and White.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

ISIS HUNCH - o,
Mrs. Egerton, you
are just in time.
We are now to
take the oath bind
ing ourselves tore
fuse all offers of
marriage.
Mrs. Egerton-
Perhaps / had bet
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07
If Scnator-elect Foraker

....H Senator-elect Foraker turns
out to be as much of silverite as his re-
cent speech indicates, the gain through
the change from Brice will not be
very striking. Brice could at least be
counted on to oppose the silver folly.
Isl Louis Globe Democrats
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07
II MEAN TO MARRY DORA"

constructions on things. OF course we
would merely preserve the right to
scramble out in self-defense-
Mrs. Clare Graham Qaughing)-l
thought so! How about amphibians ?
You ought to rechristen the club!
Miss Hunch Speaking above the buzz
OF conversation)-Let us join hands and
make oath that. however pressed to
marry, we will refuse.
(The "Celibates" join hands.)
Mrs. Clare Graham (clutching Dora's
dress and whispering)-Dora, don't be
fool. You know Charlie is devoted to
you
Miss Hunch (severely)-Let me beg
silence while the cath is taken,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

WE can stand the horseless carriage
Think it's just as fine as silk,
But we kick hard, harder, hardest,
When they mention cowless milk.
West Union Qa.) Gazette.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

FITs.-All Fits stopped free by Dr. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after first
days use. Marvellous cures. Treatise and g
trial bottle free to Fit cases. Send to DIR.
Kline, 9Sl Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

A PARAGRAPH in a provincial paper reads
"a thunderstorm made Beranger poet
a mothers kiss made West a. painter ant
q salary of 80 shillings q week makes US
journalist. Tit Bits.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07
THE CELIBATE CLUB.
By LEWIS GREswICKE.

Characters: Miss Hagar Hunch. pres
ldent; Miss Dora Darlish, secretary; Mrs.
Egerton and Mrs. Clare Graham, visitors;
and the "Celibates." eight In number.
SCENE l.: The CLUE Room.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

The CHIcAGo-"And do you find the water
here so very bad?" The Elsewhere-"O
no. With salad dressing 1t is not at eli
bad. detroit Tribune.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

For BRONCHIAL AND AsTHMArIo CON-
PLANTS, "BroUn's Bronchial Troches" have
remarkable curative properties.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

GIRLS and billiard-balls kiss each other
with just about the same amount of real
feeling.-Truth.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

AcroRs, Vocalists, Public Speakers prais
Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

Miss Gusu-"O, captain, were you ever
boarded by piratel" Capt. Storms-"Yes.
He charged me s11 day Tor hall room on
the fourth floor. Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07

THE gay cravat which she selected
Will leave him soon q wreck
While he with truth remarks. detected,
''I'll get it in the neck"
Washington Star.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1896-03-07
|0lJR

Blood means sound health. With pure, ricn,
healthy blood. the stomach and digestive
organs win be vigorous, and there will be No
dyspepsia Rheumatism and neuralgia win
be unknown. Scrofula :,nd salt rheum wiz
disappear. Your nerves will be strong,
your sleep sound, sweet and refreshing.
Hoods Sarsapariila makes pure blood
That Is why it cures so many diseases.
That is why thousands take it to cure
disease, retain good health. Remembee
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-12-05
FROM SIRE TO SON
Eleven Year-Old Boy Given a Chance &c
Reform


Reform.
Some time ago q man by the name of
Elliot made an attempt to hold up Of
ficers Horner and Sutton on North
Wichita street. but made a mistake in
his intended victims. A full account of
this was in the Eagle at the time. The
man is now in the county Jail awaiting
trial.
Yesterday morning his little 11-year-
old boy, Paul, was arraigned in police
court before Judge Wilson for malicious
obstruction of property. He had been
caught breaking windows in FAIRIES ma
chine shop on South Fourth avenue at
several different times. Judge Wilson
inquired about the boys behavior, and
ascertained that he did not attend school
and that his mother was unable to con-
troll hinl-this she admitted. Mrs. Elliott
stated that she was unable to purchase
books for the boy and hence could not
send him to school. To this Judge Will
sen stated that if she would come to him
after court was adjourned, that he
would purchase the necessary books for
him himself if she was unable to do so.
II was then intimated by Mr.. Clark who
had complaint against the boy, that he
would not go to school even then. Judge
Wilson thereupon imposed a fine of s1s
upon the boy which was 10 be withheld
so long as he, attended school regularly,
and said if that was not sufficient, that
inasmuch as he was such an unruly boy.
that if he did not behave himself in the
future that he would institute proceed
ings in the probate court to have him
placed within the reform school at
hutchinson where he would go to school
and behave himself also.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-12-05
TALE OF TWO WASHERS
They Knew the fashion But Didn't Know
Who Represented liz.

"My, but there is something swell for
your whiskers," said a society young
man yesterday.
La, me; but isn't she fin de sicle,
though" said his companion.
Catch onto the box jacket she wears. ;"
"And the slashed collar
''And the Princess dress"
"And the flaring skirt"
"And the tooth-pick Shoes"
"And the tipped hat
"And the ostrich feather muff-"
"And the broken point collar"
"Gaze on the up-to-date psyche knob
on her head, viii you"
"And the parted bangs"
''My, but that hat becomes her, doesn't
it,
And, what's the matter with the dot
ted veil?'
Whats she doing with her handker-
chief now?'
Putting it up her sleeve. Well, wouldn't
that kill you"
During ali this conversation the lady
was walking down Main street, stopping
now and then to gaze at the shop dis
plays.
by Jove." said the society young man
that's a catch for some one"
Il believe I'll fiirt with her." said his
companion.
Not by long shot,. said the society
young man, Il saw her first. She's
mine by right of discovery, you know.
Lord. l wish she'd look this way"
Just at that moment she turned her
head and the society young man, catch
ing her eye, tipped his hat.
She nodded gracefully
''Well, say, did you see that?"
"Well, didn't I?'' said his companion.
Getting along fine. amt II"
SAY, she's motioning to you to come
over"
Darn if she isn't. Well, well; won't
do thing but go" And he did.
She walked up close to him and spoke
kindly, saying: My dear, if you see
papa tell him he'll find the key under
the third step Of the foot-walk; and, say,
tell him to milk the COW and feed the
chickens"
The society young man returned to his
companion down in the mouth.
''She gave you the marble heart, eh %
said the companion. How did she
talk?"
"All right
You're another; she didn't do thing
to you"
''But call me my dear
who is she, on the square,"
'My MOTHER
"Wen. if L don't tell that to the Eagle
reporter I'm a liar
IF you dare"
You wait and see"
cit beats the duce.' said the society
young man, this fashion does, when IL
disguises a woman so that her own son
does not knew her.
True" said his companion, cit takes
a smart boy nowadays TO know his own
mother; il used to be different"
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-12-05
LOST WHILE DRUNK
MAN Is RELIEVED OF BIS MONEY
AND CAN GIVE NO CLUE.

A NJ. McNees Sells His Household Goods
Preparatory to Leaving the City for
Ciucinnati-He Places the money Into
His Pocket and Starts Out to Have
"Tims"-He Is Seen by several Persons
Early 10 the Night, Who Endeavored to
Get Him to Return Home-He Awakens
and Finds His Money all Gone.
/ Last Saturday A. NJ. McNees, who
used to work for the Street Railway
company, sold all his household goods
preparatory TO leaving this city for Gin
cinnati, Ohio, which city he intended to
make his future residence. 1t was well
known by several parties that he had
the money, and although he was told
that it was not wise plan 10 carry 1T in
his pocket he disregarded everything and
started out to have what he considered
Jolly good time with the boys" In
this he succeeded thoroughly and at 3
o'clock ne was seen at the corner OF
Douglas and Main in an advanced stage
of intoxication.
He has not been working for the Street
Railway company for quite while, but
is well known to most of other employees
of the road. and several Of them tried to
induce him to go 10 his home, but this
he refused to do. That was the last trace
of him which has been found so far as
the remainder of the night is concerned.
Yesterday morning he awakened from
his stupor and was somewhat surprised
to find himself over on the West Side
near one of the churches. He felt for his
money but it was gone, every cent of it.
He soon came to himself and realized
the fact that he had been robbed of all
he had. He managed to return to the
central part of the city, and to make
complaint at police headquarters as TO
his loss and then returned to his home
penniless.
He is supposed TO have had between
s75 and 800 in his pocket when he was
last seen on the corner of Main and
Dougls, but of this none of il is left.
There is absolutely no clew for the police
to work upon as to apprehending the
perpetrators OF the robbery. The man
can give no account of himself whatever.
He cannot tell-how he came to be oyer
on the West Side. 1t looks likely, how
ever, that he was enticed over there for
the purpose of robbery. Certain it is
that he was robbed and so far no clew
whatever has been found although the
officers have been working upon the case
diligently.
The loss is quite severe one and falls
quite heavily upon the mans wife who
was anticipating the proposed removal
10 the east with some pleasure. But the
man takes the loss quite philosophically,
and will of necessity remain in this city
for time at least.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-12-05
PILES OF SILVER MONEY
Postoffice Received Three Bags of 1t From
Oklahoma.

Yesterday Assistant Postmaster Locke
sat at his office desk, like Mark Hanna
in the cartoons. with great big sacks of
money before him having the mark on
the side of them.
In each of the sacks there was seventy
pounds Of silver, making in all. some
thing over $1,000.
He had just brought the money from
the safe to his desk and he was sweat
ing like the traditional colored man at
an election.
How much silver do you think you
could carry?'' he asked a reporter for
the Eagle.
Il never had occasion TO test my
strength in that line" said the reporter,
but / presume if some one forgot a bag
containing sl25. 600 / could manage 10 get
away with il"
Il thought so too" said Mr.. Locke.
until tried myself. l know better now.
The biggest team of horses in the town
couldn't haul 125,000 silver dollars. II
you could pack 1000 silver dollars three
yards; aye, If you could lift it off the
ground, 1 would match you against Tom
Sharkey, and bet that you'd whip him
in the first round
Now, there is sack said he. that
has a thousand silver dollars in If and
il weights about seventy pounds. At that
rate 1000 would weigh $50 pounds. OF
nearly as much as six sacks of flour.
and if you could pack that much -four
you are a better man than I'd take You
10 be-
The dollars were all of one date and
they came to Wichita from the Anadarko
postoffice in Oklahoma. This office. Il
appears. is the depository for the Ana
darko office The assistant postmaster
did NOT attempt 10 explain why he got,
so much money from the Anadarko post
office and why il was al in silver dollars.
1t was learned. however, that the Indians
at the Aaaadarko agency had been paid
their annuity by the government and the
logical conclusion was that this is the
same money. The Indians are free
silver people and always demand their
money in silver. They knox that a sill
yer dollar is good when they see il. but
they don't know whether paper money
is good. They viii take gold in pinch.
but they don't Ike il. Il is not large
enough for them. There is d great deal
OF human nature in an Indian. even Il
he is q savage. and. like white people.
he takes prides in flashing handful OF
money even il il is the despised white
metal.
The Indians, il appears, have also got
onto the cardinal principal OF PopuisS-n
They believe IN the postal savings hank
and there Is no doubt but what the food
OF silver that rolled in upon the post
master at Ana6arko vas the result o.
the Indians Investing their surplus in
money orders which they can hold up
against Uncle sam and cash in az their
pleasure.