davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
WOMAN AS A FlNANCIER.
The Lawyer Who Needed Money and the
Wife Who offered to Lend.

The Lawyer Who Needed Money and the
Wife Who offered to Lend.
~ have heard it said, remarked the law
yer, "that women are not good fnanciers,
but r.
Generally speaking, that is true" in
terrupted the banker, "but there are ex-
captions. The average woman is nui-
sance the moment she undertakes to fool
with figures, and confess hate to see
one come into the bank. The calm conf
verse our usual methods of doing business
is refreshing, but annoying if too often re-
peated. She expects everything to be shift
ed around In order to make it trifie more
convenient for her. As financier must
confess she''-
beats all CREATION" put in the law
yer. "You may not agree with me, " he
added, "but it's so. A little of her cool
assurance is worth all Of mans superior
knowledge of values and financial meth
DDS. F"
''It's evident that you've never been
connected with bank said the banker
"But I'm married, retorted the lawyer.
''Ah, might have known that we were
coming to a scrap Of domestic history,
returned the banker. II will admit that
the science of domestic economy as practic-
ed by women is beyond all the ordinary
rules of finance. But let's hear the story"
II found myself dead broke at home one
evening, and needed little change" ex-
planned the lawyer. II asked my wife for
95, and she Immediately wanted to know
what she was to get out of it. -
Good business instinct" commented
the banker. "She realized that she had
the money market temporarily cornered.
Very clever, indeed, for a woman.
II told her I'd bring her home $25 the
following night if she'd let me have IS
that evening, " continued the lawyer, land
she was delighted ?"
Naturally" returned the banker. 1.-THE
rate was usurious.
CT need $25 50 much, she exclaimed,
tand I've been wondering how was going
to get it, Be sure you don't forget to bring
it home
"I WON'T said. Where's the W.
"'The VIZ she exclaimed. oh, I'll give
that to you out of the S25 If you're mean
enough to take it. haven't a cent now. "
"Well?' said the banker inquiringly
ooh, you're married and don't need to
have the story finished, " returned the law
yer. "You know very we'll that she got
the $25, and got eternally and everlast-
ingly left in the transaction, as man al
most invariably does when he enters into
| financial negotiations with his wife, y
| Chicago Post.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
A Delicate Point.

"What sort Of crowd is this am to
address tonightp'' asked the orator anx-
iously. lis it inclined to religion or
somewhat sporty"
"Darn If can say" said the member Of
the reception committee.
II wish you would find out. would
like to know whether to use the expression
"a new dispensation' or "a new deal -
indianapolis Journal
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
1776-1896.

Shame, recreant freemen, shame!
Doth freedom 8 heart no longer beat,
Is freedoms name no longer sweet,
That listless in her home We stand
While comes cry for helping hand,
While Spanish wolf. with fangs agleam,
For Cuban lamb doth roll the stream,
And shackles clank and headsmen stand
For those who dare love native landG
Shame, recreant freemen, shamel
Holds memory not the Frenchman' sword
Unsheathed to check the Hessian horde9
Are hearts so cold that ye forget
Pulaski, Steuben, Lafayettes
Do cannon shots Of royal liege
Not echo down from Yorktown siegeP
Is freedoms cause less dear than then,
Or lacks the new world worthy menf
Shame, recreant freemen, shamel
Is freedoms flag a-fying yet,
Or are its stars Of promise setp
Have they gone down to eternal night
Who battled for the sacred right,
Or do those souls of matchless worth
No longer walk this groveling earth2
Must freedoms sword lie still and rustP
CLOVIS there no fire in patriot dustp
Rouse, slumbering freemen, rousel
II still We guard that bell which spoke
And tyrant chains forever broke,
If still We venerate the great
Who built the glory of our state,
Make haste to unroll that sacred chart
Which blunts the point of despot's dart.
Let Spaniards learn tits freedoms war
On islet broken from our shorel
Rouse, slumbering freemen, rousel
New York Mail and Express.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
The wife of Mr.. Leonard Wells, of Ea,

The wife of Mr.. Leonard Wells, of East
Brimfeld, Mass, had been suffering from
neuralgia for two days, not being able to
sleep or hardly keep still, when Mr..
Holden, the merchant there, sent her a
bottle of Chamberlain's Pain Balm, and
asked that she give it a thorough trial.
On meeting MI. Wells the next day he was
told that she was all right, the pain had
left her within two hours, and that the
bottle of Pain Balm was worth IS If II
could not he had for less. For sale at 30
cents per bottle by all druggists.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Sweet Girl iu a rowboat-What is this
Mace in the back of the boat fOrS
Nice Young Man-That is to put an
oar in when you want to scull the boat.
Rowing requires both oars, one each side;
but in sculllng only one Is used. That
is placed at the back and worked with
one hand.
Sweet Girl after meditation wish
you would try sculling while.
Why don't you take bath? said Oumso
to tramp.
If could get filtered water to battle IN,
II would, boss.
Filtered water?
Yes, sir. In these days of brcilluses
and things which are likely to creep into
ones system through the pores ore can't
be too careful, you know.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
Malaria Disarmed of its Terrors.

Malaria Dtsarmed OF Its TerrOrs.
Malaria, that fell atmospheric poison,
is disarmed of its terrors and health re-
stored to thousands residing where the
noxious exhalation periodically infects
the air, and engenders intermittent and
remittent fevers, by Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters, the most popular as it is the best,
of preventives, alternatives and tonics. In
numberless localities where the demand
for sulphate of quinine was formally i'm
mense, the hurtful alkaloid has been al
most entirely supplanted by this safe,
popular and effective substitute, which is
prompt in action aad entirely unobject-
ionable, 1t nullifes the influence of
missma by giving more active impulse
to every vital function, quickening and
enriching the blood, overcoming ten
dency to billiousness, and prompting di-
gestion.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
now TO PREVENT GROUP,

SOME READING THAT WILL PROVE INTER-
Esr1Na TO YOUNG MOTHERS. HOW TO GUARD
AGAINST THE DISEASE.
Group is q terror to young mothers ano
to post them concerning tho cause, first
symptoms and treatment is the object of
this isem. The origin of Group is COM
mon cold. Children who are subject to
it take cold very easily and Group Is
almost sure to follow. The first symptom
is hoarseness; this is soon followed BY q
peculiar rough cough, which Is easily
recognized and will never be forgotten
by one who has heard it. The time to act
is whom the child Arst becomes hoarse. II
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is freely
given all tendency to GROUP will soon
disappear. Even after the croupy cough
has developed II will prevent the attack.
There is no danger In giving this remedy
for It contains nothing injurious. For
sale by all druggists.
\ II
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Hfs you balds 1s your clothing con.
stantly covered with dsndruff-filthy
animal matter falling from diseased
scalpf Does your head Itchs Is it in
tested with sores and scahsH Is Your
hair growing thinner year by year? Is
it dry and brittle' If 80, you have a
parasitic disease of the scalp, which you
are neglecting at great risk. Danderlne
will cure You quickly and permanently.
Money refunded in case of failure. For
sale at Fischer & Co.'S. Pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
CALIFORNIA AND MEXICO EXPRESS

Trains No. and 2 carry Pullman pal
ace and tourist sleepers between Chicago
and San Francisco, Los Angeles, Ell Paso
and the City Of Mexico, dining cars be.
tween Chicago and Kansas City, free re-
clining chair cars between Chicago and
Ell Paso, west of Kansas City meals are
served at the famous Harvey eating
houses.
CONNECTIONS,
Close connections are made 10 Union
Depots at Chicago, Kansas City, Denver.
Colorado Springs and other principal
stations on the 'Santa Fe Route" with all
lines diverging. For further particulars
call on any agent Of the "Santa Fe Route
or tho Undersigned.
II. 3. LUTz, Agent Santa Fe.
q. T. NICHOLSON, q. r. A., Chicago
City Ticket Office, First National Rank
Building.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
GE MS IN VERSE.
Under the Apple Blossoms.

UuueT tHo Appfc Diossohs'
Under the apple blossoms,
Under the Pickering shade,
Who is walking softly2
Only the parlor maid.
Under the apple blossoms.
Under the moving boughs,
The farmers son is passing.
Only to fetch his cows.
Under the apple blossoms,
Under the fruit trees hoar,
They meet by chance in the sunset
As they've often met before.
Under the apple blossoms,
Where the branches meet above,
They are adding another chapter
To the same old story-love.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
An oversight.

"These hotels don't seem to have any
enterprise" remarked the woman who
goes shopping great deal.
''What makes you think sos"
"They don't take advantage Of the ex-
ample set them by the dry goods stores.
Tn sure that hotel charging "a a day
could get lots Of women to favor it when
the family goes away for the summer If
they'd mark the price down to $500. p
Washington Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
Y Al II IL In Boston.

They were discussing the Boston debu-
tante.
"She is having the finishing touches put
on her toilet today" explained her mother.
"Ah! Closeted with her dressmaker,
suppose. y
ooh, dear no. With her optician She's
having her new spectacles fitted. Chi
cago Post.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
PREPARATION,

First Reporter-Think there's going to
be war in Turkey
Second reporter--They think so in our
office. Our special correspondent has
thrilling accounts of eleven battles ready
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

This Is Your Opportunity.
On receipt of ten cents, cash or stamps,
q generous sample will be mailed of the
most popular Catarrh and Hay Fever Cure
(Ely's Cream Balm) sufficient to demon
strate the great merits Of tho remedy.
ELY BROTHERS,
So Warren ST., New York City.
Rev. John Reid, Jr., of Great Falls, Mont,
recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. I
can emphasize his statement, st is posi-
tive cure for catarrh if used MS directed. y
Rev. Francis W. Poole, Pastor Central Pres.
Church, Helena, Mont.
Ely's Cream Balm is the acknowledged
cure for catarrh and contains no mercury
nor any injurious drug. Price. 50 cents.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Are You Going to California;
The Santa Fe Route has just placed on
sale tickets to southern California and
return at a rate of $500, to San Fran
cisco and return 5000, tickets good to
return at any time within six months
from date of issue, stop-over privileges
allowed at any point en- route. Pullman
palace and tourist sleepers running
through without change. For particulars
call on or address any agent of the Santa
Fe Route. H. 8. LuTz, Agent,
GEO. T. NICHOLSON, Santa Fe, N. M.
G. P. A., Chicago, III.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Good advice: Never leave home on a
Journey without bottle of Chamberlain
Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy.
For sale by oil druggists.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Thousands have been cured from bald
ness and other diseases of the scalp by
Danderine. II will cure you. Guaranteed.
For sale at Fischer's & Co.'S. Pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
SUN BEAMS.

Old Popley was caught in the storm
and struck by lightning last night.
Why, I saw him this morning.
Oh, it didn't hurt him much. His
whiskers were wet and the bolt ran of
into the ground.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Wabley-Awful bother cutting the
leaves of magazine; isn't its
Wagrow-Not for me. When take
magazine home, put it in conspicuous
place, and someone invariably does the
lob for me.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
A BAD SIGN,

Mrs. Emancipus- Don't You think that
our Mary lie getting to be bit Of tom
boyf
Mr.. Emancipus-Well, it's so. She
does nothing all day but play with her
brothers dolls ana learn new styles Of
fancy needle-work.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

"This service, = said the Cuban leader,
requires man brave even to reckless
ness. y
II" said the newly arrived illibuster,
fused to, dodge bicycles and cable cars all
day and sleep In a folding bed at night. ;"
New York Sunday World.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
TALE OF WOE.

Tomlinson-Blame the luck! lost q
valuable silk umbrella, yesterday.
Hankins-How SO?
Tomlinson-Msddox came along and
recognized it!
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
A CHANGE IN THE TITLE,

Maud smilingly-So you saw the
profound bow got from handsome Harr!
Brown? He's just graduated from college
with high honors as veterinary surgeon
Ethel-Yes; so Gladys told me. It's a
secret, but she's engaged to be married
to him.
Maud with sudden asperity-Huh! A
horse doctor!
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

"Widdleton, were you delirious when
you had heat prostrations''
"Deliriou6 didn't even recognize my
bicycle when they brought 1t to my bed
side. "--Chicago Record.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
What Papa Said.

Willie Mamma, have daisies got feet'
Mamma-No, Willie. Whyf
II heard papa tell Mr.. Gayboy that he
saw couple Of them walking down Broad
street last night - Philadelphia Record
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

"Did you flnd any demand for real estate
In Chicagos"
Eyes, very great demand. Every man
/ met wanted the earth. Detroit Trib-
11Yt0
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Mrs. Brimmerly-Dear me! Why,I did
not know until the other day that your
husband was humorist!
Mrs. De Ruyter-Well, the fact is, only
lately that John has taken it seriously.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

The coming woman will have whiskers,
understand.
Good enough; 10 can use her razors
to sharpen our lead pencils.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
Mutual Envy.

Boy, he say ~ wisht wuz
Err man dat's done growed up.
Mebbe den I'd drive or boss
Err own er yaller pup.
I'd stay out late, an I'd be free
FUN lickin g when I'ze bad.
Oh, golly, how I'd like ter bs
Er growed up man like dadl"
Man, he say: ~ wisht wuz
Er little feller now.
Dab wouldn' be much mo- time los
A-follerin dis here pillow.
Dah's no mo- goin ON de sly
Ter hunt or fish er swim.
Oh, golly, how wish dat
Wuz Pickaninny Jiml"
Washington Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
Gun=Shot Wounds.

Major E. A. Darlington was shot
through the am at the battle of
" Wounded Knee" December 20,
1890, the last fight between the
Indians and our troops. 1t is not
often that regular army officer
certifes to the value of proprietary
{ remedy, but this is what Major
Darlington says about SALvA-cEA:
WASHINGTON, D. c.,
April Fl, 1895.
~ have used SALvA-cEA for
: soreness or rheumatic pains in the
! muscles of my arm, which is dis
! abled from a gun-shot wound involv-
I ing the elbow joint relief was quick
and complete.
E. A. DARLINGTON,
J Major and Inspector General,
US. A."
! Not many people suffer
from gun-shot wounds, to be
sure, but lots of us do suffer
from piles, local skin irrita-
ton, cha6ngs, colds and nasal
catarrh, and SALvA-cEA is
: just as efficacious in all of
these as in gun-shot wounds.
Two sizes, as and 50 cents per box.
( At druggists. or by mail.
} For deeS-seated pain and illumination Of
} the Joints use Sa2va-cea, Extra Strong"
} Sold in fins at rs cents each.
I THE BRANDRETH Co., a74 Canal Street. NY.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

BALD heads, see Danderine, the
most wonderful discovery of modern
times. For sale at Fischer & Co.'S. Phar-
mRCv,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
How It Happened.

II understand that your side lost some
men In an engagement with the Cubans. +"
The Spanish officer glared and said moth
ing.
Bad generalship, chi"
ono. Typographical error. ~ Washing
ton Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

Phyllis--I thought you told me that you
were going to get married.
Prue (ruefully That was before I pro.
posed. Truth. IS
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

But words are things, and q small drop Of ink.
Falling like dew upon thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions,
think.
IT'S strange the shortest letter which man
uses
instead Of speech may form lasting link Of
ages.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

"Lord de Liverus says that my beauty
intoxicates him."
"And he wants to marry you 80 as to
try the-gold cure, ehp''-Truth.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05

The bliss ofignorance constitutes some
peoples sole happiness.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
A Fable.

A Fable.
Away in forests deep there grew
A tall and stately oak.
The shrubs the thorns, the briers, all,
Assailing him, thus spoke:
"Thou smotherest and vexest us.
What demon put thee there?
OF sunbeams thou deprivest US.
Thou robbest us Of air.
"Beneath thy carcass vast and vile
We waste, we perish thus.
Thou wilt not let us higher grow.
IT'S plain thou enviest u.s."
tsTut.tut, keep still, unfortunates,
Replied the noble oak.
"Mere thorns you are; acknowledge it.
What use to fret and croak2
"'Tis vain, my dears, to fret and fuss.
Acknowledge this you must
That you are doomed to grow and be
The neighbors Of the dust.
"To twitch and scratch on every path
The passing beast or man,
To scratch and pluck, to prick and sting,
Is all you do or can.
"Nor sun nor shade you must upbraid,
For blamable is none.
My height and mien are reached by trees
OF my stout race alone,
"Who never murmur nor find fault,
OF naught do they complain.
For winds and storms impart them
strength.
They thrive in drought or rain.
''For they are called, like me, to grow
Thus sturdy, stout and high;
Like giants, rise from earth below
And face both sun and sky.
"The little shrubs we rule by right,
Nor mind their number great,
And when we fall, If fall at all,
We, fighting, fall in state
"And fill the voids with fright, dismay-
Fall great, if fall we must
You dying. live and waste away,
Unnoticed in the dust
-Stoyan X. Vatrolsky in Boston Transcript.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-05
Absence.

Absence.
She is not herel That sigh was not from her.
It was wandering wind that made the light
leaves stir.
She is not herel Those are not her blue eyes,
But fragrant, dew wet hyacinths under kin.
dred skies.
She Is not here! The gold wheat waving fair
Is but the earth's poor likeness Of her glorious
hair.
She is not here The rivers murmuring voice
For one inthralling moment babe my heart re-
joice.
Goodby, vain hopes All, could only seem
To hold thee fastl But this were all too fair
dream.
For naught on earth can ever bring to me
The semblance of the Joy of one sweet kiss
from theel
Sketch.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1896-03-01
AN ODD COMEDY.
"A Nights FroIc'' to BE Presented at
the Academy Monday Night.

Like Money Mad,' which was ORR
ginaIly called a Noble Vagabond,"
Paul Kauyar, christened at birth 'Anar-
chy," the comedy, "A Nights Frolic,
was first called Captain Kate" after
the chief parsonage or character in it.
Consequent upon the difficulty people
had in reconciling the seeming mixing
up of the sexes the play was renamed
and given title indicating its motive
instead of an idea of the leading part.
Under it's second or new title "A
Nights Frolic," it will be presented at
the Academy of Music Wednesday
night, March 4th, with Mr.. Charles Il.
Newsome, a native and former resi-
dent of this city and an attache of
old Metropolitan Hall, in the inlpor-
tant and trying role of an old-time
negro, which character, it is under
stood, he plays in a manner which
promises much for his future as
character actor.
a Nights Frolic" is a play which
appeals particularly to ladies and to
married folks, and deals with the adj
ventures of a gay young widow and
lady friend, who undertake to read
the husband of the latter a lesson on
mutual confidence. The frolic which
is indicated by the title of the play
might just as well have been a morn
ing frolic or an afternoon frolic, had
the idea of the lesson reading occurred
at either of these two divisions Of the
day The scheme, however, was put
into play the moment it was conceived,
hence the frolic became night frolic.
The frolic or joke consists of the
widow masquerading in mans attire,
that of a dashing French military Off
Ger, and passing herself off on half
blend old sea-captain as MS prospective
son-in-law. The supposed prospective
son-in-law's effeminate ways, want of
yalor and lack Of courage-he even
screams when the negro servant shouts
rats, together with his apparent fond
ness for ladies' society, disgusts the
old sea-dog and he withdraws his OBJ
jections to his daughter marrying
young lawyer, so that she might marry
the soldier, and one 81 the results OF
the nights frolic is attained. The
cost of it to the two ladies, however,
forms the fun Of the play which is at
all times clean and wholesome.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1896-03-01
PLEASANT BIRTHDAY CELEBRA-
TION.

Quite a party of friends and
acquaintance met at the hospit-
able residence OF Mr.. Vim. Watts
i'll Auburn Friday night to
celebrate the 18th birthday Of this
joval and excellent gentleman-not
that Mr.. Watts is only ~ years old
his birthday only comes once in four,
sometimes once in eight years.
There were forty invited guests
several being from this city All
voted it most perfect evening.
The dinings at 7.30 and 11,30 were all
that the most epicurean in taste and
desire could wish.
The tables were loaded not only
with all the good things that go to
satiate tempted appetites, but were
handsomely decorated with fruits,
flowers, plants, various colored candles,
and other ornaments.
The congeniality of the host and
hostess made all at perfect ease.
To the I'VE sma'" hours of the morn
ing, the pleasures and joys of the oc-
casion were kept up when the happy
guests departed with the earnest wish
that Mr. Watts would live to celebrate
many another birthday.