New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-03-04
8 . The Oyclopeedy 8


place f goin' on thirty years, I caIc'late
that ] know jest about e. much about
the case ez any body else now on airth,
excep' i'm perhaps it's OF Jedge Baker,
and he's SO plaguey old md SO powerful
feeble that he don't know nothin'
It seems that in the spring Nv
the year that Gy Watson's oldest boy
Wuz drownded in West River there
come along book agent sellin' vol
umes md tracks f'T the diffusion Nv
knowledge, md havin' got the recon-
mend Of the minister nd Nv the select
men, he done an alfred big business in
our part NJ the county. His name WIZ
Lemuel Higgins, md he wuz ez likely q
talker ez ever heerd, barrin' Lawyer
Conkey, nd every body allowed that when
Conkey Wuz round he talked SO fast that
the town pump I'D have to be creased
every twenty minutes.
One of the first Nv our folks that this
Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Leander Ho-
bark Leander had jest marr'd one Nv
the Peaslcy girls, nd had moved into the
old homestead on the Plainyille road -,
old Deacon Hobart havin' give up the
place 10 him, the other boys havin'
moved out West Qike a lot O. darned
fools that they wuzO. Leander wuz
feclin' his oats jest about this tine, nd
nuthin' wuz too good f'r him.
"Hattie," seq he, II guess I'll have to
lay in few books f'r readin' in the vim
ter time, nd I've half notion to sub
scribe FIR a cyclopeedy. Mr.. Higgins
here says they're lnvalerable in a family,
and that we orter have 'em, bein' as how
we're likely to have the family bime
by"
"Lor's sakes, Leander, how you talk!'
seq Hattie, blushin' all over, ez brides al
lers does to heern tell NV SIGH things.
WAL, to make long story short, Lee
ander bargained with Mr.. Higgins for. a
set Nv them cyclopeedies, md he signed
his name to long printed paper that
showed how he agreed to take CYCLIC
pecdy oncet in so often. which wuz to.
be eZ often eZ new one Nv the vOly-
umes wuz printed. A cyclopeedy isn't
printed all at oncet, because that would
make it cost too much; consistently the
man that gets it up has it strung along
fur apart, so as to hit folks oncet every
year or two, and gln'rally about harvest
time. SO Leander kind NV liked the
idee, and he signed the printed paper md
made his affidavit to it afore ledge War
ner. .-.-. r.
The fust volyume of the cyclopeedy
stood on a shelf in the old seckertary in
the settin'- room about four months he
fore they had any use FIR it. One night
Squire Turner's son come over to visit
Leander md Hattie, and they got to talk
in aDont apples, md the sort NV apples
that wuz the best. Lcander allowed
that the Rhode Island greenin' WIZ the
best, but Hattie and the Turner boy
stuck up FIR the Roxbury russell, until at
last a happy idee struck Lcander, and
seq he: "We'll leave it to the cyclopeedy,
b'gosh! Whichever one the cyclopeedy
SEE is the best will settle it,
's'But you can't find out nothin' bout
Roxbury russets nor Rhode Island green
ms in our cyclopee6y," SEE Hattie.
"Why not, I'd like to know?" seq
Leander, kind Nv Indignant like.
''Cause ours haint got down to the r
yet" seq Hattie. GAN ours tells about
is things beginnin' with A."
swell, aint we talkin' about Apples?''
sez Leander. ''You aggervate me terri
BILE, Hattie, by insistin' on KNOWN what
you don't know nothin' bout
Leander went to the seckertary nd
took down the cyclopeedy nd hunted all
through it FIR Apples, but all he could
find wuz "Apple-see Pomology.''
elbow in thunder kin I see Pomolo-
gy," seq Leander sswhen there amt no
Pomology to see? Col durn cyclopee-
dy, anyhow
And he put the volyume back ento the
shelf md never sot eyes into it agin.
That's the way the thing run f'r years
md years. Leander would've gin up
the plaguey bargain, but he couldn't:
he had signed printed paper md had
swore to it afore a justice Of the peace,
Higgins would have had the law on him
if he had throWed up the trade.
The most aggervatin' feature NV it all
WIZ that new one nv them cussid cy-
|clopeedies wuz alluss sure to show sup al
the wrong time when Leander wuz
hard up or had jest been afflicted some
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