The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1896-12-08
wAYsIDE GATHERINGS.
Bits of Humor and Nuggets of Truth
for the muItitude.

tck sbc huitltuuS.
You should forgive many things iu
others, but nothing in yourself.
The man who is always insistinr
that he Is his own man is usually his)
own slave.
Economy is no disgrace IL is
better living on little than outliving
great deal.
Parents who are rude to their
children need not be surprised IL their
children become rude to them.
TO have the advantage OF an en.
emy, and yet abstain from using it, Isl
to display true Christian magnans
iu'ity.
The assessed value of farms IN
the United States in 1880 was over
1000, 100000 and in 1890 was over
Sl3,OO0,O 900.
1T is cowardice to conceal your
rellon through fear Of men, and is
Pharisaism to flaunt it ostentatiously
before the world. s
Many have an idea that they are
serving the Lord when they are med 4.
ding with something that is none OF s
their business.
:" Is it true that Pideer is finan-
cialiy embarrassed ?" " He is awfully
IN debt, but it does not seem to en- I.
barrass him any" ~
How many blunders we should !
escape, III we were not so much in
ciined to think of ourselves more high
ly than we ought TO think.
-Australians are the greatest tea
drinkers, and annually consume 1866
pounds per head. The people of Great
Britain consume 400 pounds each.
There are people who have an idea
that il Il sin is universal, they have
the right to do it, and il it is wide.
spread 1t is spread too thin to do any
damage.
= What did God create on ask a
Sunday school teacher of u little gi.l
and the little girl answered, "The
earth, the sun, tho moon, the stars
and stripes"
Tho voyage to Liberia takes 35
days by sailing vessels. In 70 years,
during which there have been nearly
200 emigrations, there has not been q
case OF loss or disaster.
If you really wish to euro a mis-
understanding that has grown up be-
tween you and your friend, you will
certainly avoid any action that may
give fresh cause for offense.
Tho most powerful guns now made
fire shot from II to 13 miles and
hrugg's great Bottom steel gun hurled (
a shot weighing 1900 pounds few
yards over 10 miles.
-Oi dozen photographs Of q scene
taken from as many different points
OF view, no two were alike. And vet
we are persuaded that the man who
oilers with us is eithor blind or fool.
81 don't mind beln' spanked"
sobDed 50bbie,' nor don't mind sittin'
in chair for five minutes but when
Pm spanked first and have to sit down
right away afterwards, I tell you it
hurts"
III you have made a mistake, don't
think 1t a condescension to apologize.
The true gentleman is always ready
70 rectlfy blunder. Only the mule
bites with one end and kicks with the
other.
:" What is woman's sphere9" she 4
demanded, oratCricnlly. "Well,n he &
replied thoughtfully, unless there
has been change since the Garden of
Eden, ! should say it was an apple. b,
or course there isn't perfect sphere S;
but it satisfied Eve" 3
That extreme partially which
gives horses warm stables and good
bedding, while COWS are turned out in
the rain to lie on wet ground, and take
all the exposure Of the inccment sea-
son, is Discrimination most hurtfuI tn
the farmer who permits it.
The dress ofa fully equipped diver
weighs 1898 pounds and costs about
$500. The thick underclotbing weighs
8! pounds, the dress itself II pounds:
the hugo boots, with leaden soles, SO
pounds the breast and back weights
SO pounds, and the helmet 35 pounds.
An lrishman once worked all day
on the promise of getting a glass of
grog. at night the employer brought
out the grOg to him, and the Irishman
tasted it and said, Which did YOU
put in first, the whiskcy or the wa
tor?, oh, said the employer, ''the
whlskey' Umhum," mused the
irishmar. . Well, maybe Pll come to
it by and by
-Teacher-HAve you finished your
composition on what little boys should
not do in school? Yes'm." Read
it " Little boys when at school
should not make faces at til teacher
and should not study too hard cause
1T makes them ncarsighted, and shUuld
not sit TOO long in one position. cause
it makes their backs crookca, and
should not do long examples in arith-
metic, cause it uses up their pencils
too fast"
An old Algerian had seven sons.
his vile died, and he remained wild
over. Once his sons were seated and
talking. The youngest Of them said TO
his brothers: Come, oh, my brothers.
let us sell some goats, and with the
price OF them marry our father again"
they dropped the subject Of CONVERSE
tion, and passed to another. After
awhile, the Old man said to them,
Come, my sons, let us rctucn+.o tho
conversation g Bout the goats"
The pastor OF a church in upper
New York, whose hcarcra are among
the richest in town, but are niggardly
in their contributions, has been irving
TO induce poor people to come to his
church, and recently, through the col.
umns OF the local papers, extended To
them cordial invitation to attend.
Last Sunday at the close of the scr-
vice ne said: Brethren, | have tried
to reach the poor OF our town. and in
duce them to come to our church and
break with us the bread of life. / in
Ter from the amount OF the collection
just taken--$7.35 that they have
come"
Only those who were OF mature
arc at the time OF our last war can have
any conception OF the tremendous
losses in life and limb occassioned bv
sanguinary hostile operations. From
April lC, 1861. until Nav 20. 1865.