The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-07-16
THE CURSE OF HUMOR.
sr IAN MAoLAREs.

Fletcher 10 one of the few clergymen
with whom a layman feels ut home, and
to whom he may even dare to express
his mind without offense. Many Of his
profession will converse only on one
conaition-that they state what they
believe to be true, and that the matter
be then considered as closed; and II
upon this papal bull any mere layman
ventures to dissent, the good mem
and often, as it appears, in proportion
to their goodness--will arch their books
and fluff very unpleasantly. One is
careful after a few scratches to avoid
every subject on which there can be
two opinions, and one makes every al.
lowance for this supersensitiveness. If
plant be reared under glass, it takes
i'll with a brisk, healthy northwester;
and if a man lives constantly in circle
of admiring (as well as charming)
young ladies. or with old ladies Of the
male sex in the shape of ecclesiastical
laymen, he would be more than human
if he were not offended by the inde-
pendence of men who are accustomed
to think for themselves and will even
say what they think. My friend had
the singular advantage, from my out
side standpoint, of not having been iso-
lated among people of the religious pro-
fession from his youth, and of having
kept himself afterwards in touch with
the world. He had therefore no shock
ing point in the matter of opinion, and
would give candid hearing to any
heresy one might ventilate. 1t struck
me that he did not lose by this tolera-
tion and sympathy, for there arc at
least six outsiders, simple pariahs of the
religious civilization, who worship at
st. Origens. Fletcher delighted to de-
fine himself as an evangelical high
broad churchman, which many pro
nounced Every unsatisfactory"-sug
gesting a vagrant who travelled any
where so long as he found some good
thing, and who had no legal address
where summons could be served upon
him. He threw himself into each sub
iect he treated with such unguarded
enthusiasm that trembled in my dis
tant seat, and was quite prepared to
hear that conventional people called
the complete stock of religious abuse.
One day he waxed eloquent on foreign
missions, and went out of his way to
pay tribute to Xavier. A year after
wards it was still limited that the rec
tor of st. Origens was Jesuit. He
must needs hold up the Salvation Army
to admiration for their immense sac
rifices, and was freely spoken of as a
ranter for weeks at certain dinner
tables. When he declared that the Uni
tartan faith had produced some of the
finest ethical types in England, lady
called next day-who had long suspect
ed the fact. and only wished to have it
confirmed from his own lips--and asked
the rector whether he was indeed q
Socinian.
"No, madam" he replied; although
you shrewdly suspect that I am not
an Anglican, it happens that have
never quite seen my way to become
Socinian. I am Swedenborgian. with
leanings to Mohammedanism."
This was very foolish speech in
deed, as I told Fletcher, and brought
It's just punishment. One of that ex-
cellent woman's peculiarities was
hopeless incapacity of giving an ac-
curate account of anything she had
either seen or heard, and the evening
of the same day she told Inc, between
the soup and the hsh, that the truth
had come out at last about the rector
Of st. Origens.
II put 1t to him plainly, and he ad-
mitted that he was an atheist, but
do not remember which denomination"
and he has hardly scraped OF that label
to this day. i5
When he dropped in last evening and
flung himself into his favorite chair,
I anticipated some new canard.
"Are you really an Irvingite?" Ibe-
gan.
mo, no, it's nothing Of that kind Just
now. am the victim Of q malignant
spirit which 10 going to ruin me-" and
then he denounced humor up hill and
down dale, declaring it to be an unmit-
igated curse, and affirming that he
would cheerfully barter any share he
had for the irrelevancy of that good
woman.
"It is well enough for you to laugh,
but il you were in my shoes you would
take another view. Twice this week
have I disgraced myself before COM
panies of religious respectables. and I
do not see how can recover the scandal.
Last Monday, as begged for details,
was SO foolish as to attend drawing
room in aid OF the Door-to-Door Vista
ton society, and found myself with SO
of the most solemn-looking people ever
gathered under one roof.
"You are Celt, so of course you will
not despise the idea of presentiments.
/ was haunted with sense of calamity
all day, and it deepened in the room.
When the secretary. young man with
an indescribable air Of self-sstisfaction,
began to read extracts from the visitors
letters, ] ought to have risen and left.
II had only had the courage to walk