Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-10-01
ansa079S
6G1077g29
!. IslNzsNl.rA'
'EEFIzzlllNE
:sSasg||1gg
C'Axs.

Il ht-DO you Iiut ~ biSJNAS' ~~>
you eat?-Cleveland Leader.
A Receiving Teller "A gossiping
woman.-Texas Siftings.
Clara-Isn't your love for him very
sudden? Maude-Well, his aunt died
very suddenly.-Life.
Shell wonder what is "the old, old
storyY" He--You are the first girl ]
ever loved.-Indianapolls Journal.
Something to Crow About.-First
ROoster-Well, what do you think OF
my wife? Second Rooster-Fery chic.
New York Press.
| Don't you know 1t Is wrong to fish
here on private groundsY "Well> sir.
the line must be drawn somewhere"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Shaw-What would you recommend
for insomnia, doctor? DoctOp-Do some
thing to tire you. Shaw-ButrI can't
afford to take a vacation.-Truth.
Tired Souls.-Irksome Ike-Say, Sam
/ ME, how'd yer like to be an angel?
| Samr Fewcloze-Not err bit. Think OF
| the work it'd take to keep yer wings
fappin'.-Up-to-Date
"How intense are the fires of lover
| calculated the poet. YES" answered
the father of six marriageable daugh-
ters, "but they do take Lot Of COAL"
London Pick-Me-Up.
"Little Johnny opened his drum yes
terday to find where the noise came
| from" did he find out?" "Yes; when
his father came home the noise came
| from little Johnny."-Lffe.
Rubbing 1t In.-Cora-Why do you
think women are frivolous? Merritt
Because when a girl makes an enemy
of a man for life she always tells him
| that they can still be friends.-Puck.
II cannot be your wife, Algy. There
| is too great a difference between our
fortunes" "But, Mabel, I'm sure there
would be no difference between them II
we could bring them together."-Life.
"The giraffe has tongue eighteen in
ches long," said Mrs. Garrill. "And
knows how to hold it, too" snapped Mr..
Garrill, who had had a long curtain
lecture the night before.-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
Becoming Notwithstanding novel
| list writes of his heroine as a tall girl
with becoming blonde hair Hell sup
pose he means by that that she was
| having 1t Observation-Disclosures En-
quirer.
"Your husband painted the house
| this spring himself, didn't hep" "Well,
yes; suppose he got some Of the paint
on the house, but you wouldn't think
| so If you could see his clothes."-Buf-
| falo News
Had to Keep Steady.-"Did you feel
nervous and tremble when Bikeleigh
proposed?" mo; didn't dare to-"
didn't dare to-" mo. You see, we
| were riding a tandem at the time."-
London Truth.
Young Wife-Oh, John, the rats have
What! All of it? Young Wife-Every
piece! feel like crying. Husband
oh, pshaw! Don't cry over few rats.
Harlem Life.
Johnny has quit talking about want
| ing to be pirate and walasw in gore,
notice." Eyes; he finds enough salts
| faction of that sort right here at home
in scorching around the oorners."-In-
| dianapolis Journal.
Hannah, what are you standing
there staring at me for? Didn't tell
you l was not to be interrupted unless
the house was on fire?" swell, mum,
that's it. 1t do be burning this half
hour."-Indianapolis Journal.
"What poor shoppers the men are"
exclaimed Mrs. Trotter on her way
home from a shopping expedition. "My
husband hardly ever pays less than
10 cents for a cigar, and here I have
bought a whole box for 7J."-Boston
| Transcript.
"What are you looking for? We've
got everything worth taking" 81 am
looking" The other burglar con-
| tinued his search. for the much
larger booty which the newspaper. to-
morrow will say we overloOked."-Har-
per's Bazaar. ~
Mother-Mamma's darling must
never use the word pants" 1t Is very
vulgar. The Child 1.-TWO hours later)-
oh, mamma! Just look at Fido; he's
Deeu TuuuluS III the SaFuen WITH Inc,
and see how he-he-bloomers!-
adelphia North American. 2SHS
"Sweet one, love YOU. he whisper
ed to his partner at the masquerade.
81 should think you would" she re-
piled, seeing that 1 am your wife"
Didn't l know it, darling? What
other woman do you think would
say that to?'-Boston Courier.
Billings-Tve got a safe job now. My
employer can't possibly fire me. Polk
Why? You don't mean to say that
you have your employer In a compro-
missing position? Billings-Not exact
ly; but you see / am working for an
asbestos ompany.-Philadelph North
American.
First Moth-May inquire whyi ron
are laughing so heartIiy7 Second
Moth-Oh, nothing much; emily the an,
ties Of that green moth from the coun-
try are so amusing. He has been try
Ing for the last two hours to scorch
himself to death with an incandescent
light.-Cincinnati Enquirer.