davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26

q straw hat, and q chest protector bear
ing the inscription: II voted for Att
geld" William Boas. another Chicago
crank, drew Frank Nathan down Dear
born street in a vehicle constructed Of
an old dry goods box placed on q pair
Of rickety wheels, The chariot was a
strange-looking affair, but pedestrians
could not determine whether the
: horse" or the driver was the greater
chump.
As choice a collection Of pumpkin
heads as was ever gathered together
gave an exhibition in the little town OF
Lisle, a suburb of Chicago. Thirteen
members Of a Bryan club agreed that
in case of McKinley's election they
would parade the streets Of the town
wearing large pumpkins over their
heads. A few days after the election
the defeated silver men appeared on
the village streets, clad in campaign
regalia, their heads but fimsily dis
guised by big yellow pumpkins. A
number of Mckinley men followed and
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26


foe four years because Mckinley waa
elected. If both parties to the latter
Bet would leave the country forever
the nation would be the gamer.
Bingham Raymond. a d-weller in that
delightful part Of ew York, known
as Harlem, agreed that in case Of Bry-
ans defeat Miss Amelia Hitchcock
might throw a dozen eggs at him--age
not specified. Like Shylock, the young
woman demanded every ounce of her
claim. and Raymond was duly pelted
before a large audience at Mount Nor
ris park. Fortunately FOR him, Miss
Raymond proved herself a very poor
markswoman and only one addledspeci-
men of hen fruit struck his immaculate
shirt bosom.
Harrison Logan. q beau Of Naperville,
III, made a bet with Miss Pauline Earn
ing, an enthusiastic Mckinley girl, the
terms of which compelled him to go to
the young lady's home where, in the
presence Of a company of mutual
friends, he had to put on an apron and
wash all the unclean dishes in the house
and sweep the floors. Had Miss Earn
ing lost, she would have had to go to
the Logan home and saw wood for 80
minutes,
Philip Hilareth, a Philadelphian, had
TO push a peanut twice around the city
han with a baseball bat. The operation
took 90 minutes, and ten peanuts were
smashed before the task was completed.
William McCauley, another Philadek
phian, rode in a hearse from the center
of the city to Mount Moriah cemetery,
with the winner of the bet sitting on
the box with the driver and blowing a
tin horn. InasmuOh as travelling in a
hearse Is considered rapid transit in
Philadelphia, this wager is not as stupid
as might be supposed by some.
Two young men of Aurora, Ill, AL.
bert Barnes and Charles Perry by name
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26
auILT us own cHURcH.

A Clergyman Who Developed Into . Car
penter.
On the slant of the unfinished roof,
with his toes on one beam, his knees on
another, a hammer in his hand and a
six-penny nail in his mouth, is an odd
situation in which to find a clergyman.
Yet that is how I found Rev. Henry
Victor Morgan, pastor of the First
Christian church Of Alameda.
He was wearing 3 carpenters apron
with the pockets full of nails; his shirt
sleeves were rolled up and his coat
was carefully folded across q saw
buck under a tree.
The roof he was clinging to is the
roof of a church at the corner Of Sam
Jose and Park avenues, Alameda. 1t
is a church to house his flock, and he is
spending his vacation building it.
An uncommon way of spending vacaA
tion-but it Is the way of an uncom-
mon man.
1--WE had to have a church." he ex.
planned, with deprecating modesty, as
he backed down the ladder to have g
chat with me, 'and as / am pretty
ndbuuy WIN LUIS dn0 AOAN "a AltgIudA
labor / thought it would do me just as
much good to put in my vacation build
ing a church as it would to go mountain
climbing or something of that sort.
When money is d scarce as it is now il
is easier to labor than IL is to raise the
funds to pay the hborers. The men-
bers of the congregation are taking q
lively interest insthe building, and here
are some Of them working with me"
and he pointed out Elder Bower in q
pair of overalls and a populist straw hat
hosting boards to the ridge Of the roof,
and Brothers Brown and Thompson
saving and hammering away eagerly
as boys with a brand new chest of tools:
"We expect to have it ready to hold
services in early this fall. When the
building is finished there will be no
debt hanging over it Everything is
paid for as we go along. To be surewe
had to raise the money to buy building
materials as we needed them, but we
have not bought q foot Of lumber nm
less the money was in sight to pay for
it. The building"-it is a large, airy
redwood structure over so feet longand
30 wide-"will serve as a church until
we can put up q better one, then 1t will
be moved to the back OF the lot and
used as a Sunday-school room."-Sar.
Francisco Enquirer.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26
ueadachee from ~ ~.

DR.. s. Weir Mitchell attributes many
headaches to disorders in the refractive
and accommodating apparatus 81 the
eye. It is becoming the custom 10 70
to the oculist when . stubborn head
ache asserts itself. In some instances
the brain symptom Is often the most.
prominent. and sometimes the only
prominent, Indication In the eye. There
may be no pain or fatigue il the organ
itself. and the strain ia It may only
show itself by ache il the brow Of back
Of the head. Long-continued trouble
in the eye may be the unsupported cause
Of insomnia, vertigo. nausea and gem
eral ill-health. In many eases the.
trouble in the eye becomes suddenly
mischievops, owing to- some sudden
failure Of the health, or to increased
CONSTITUENCIES Of the brain from moral
or mental causes.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26


keptyup a. hair-spIitting racket while
the procession was in motion. They
did not realize that they were quite as
big pumpkin heads as the leaders of the
parade.
George r.. Carl, a resident Of Oak
Park. another Chicago suburb. arrayed
himself in female attire and wheeled
@ doll carriage containing a rag baby
through the principal streets Of the
town. lie was followed by J. 9. Wat
son, with whom be had made the bet,
and a w~ell-assorted crowd of school
children who guyed him beyond the
limits Of endurance.
An indianapolis silver man, whose
faith in Bryan must have been un-
bounded. rolled a peanut from the
Union depot to the state house. thu
propelling power being a toothpick;
and q Milwaukee, crank, named Burke,
bound himself TO leave thu United States
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26
RoPEs GROW iN LIE ooEAN.
A Curious Marine Flant witch q 9tem
Three Hundred Feet Long.

A Curious Marine Plant witch q 8eeA
Three Hundred Feet Long.
The largest marine plant and proba-
bly, one of the highest plants knoWn on
this globe, Is q gigantic seaweed, the
nereocystis, the stem Of which has been
found to grow as much as 800 feet long.
1t was first discovered not far from the
Alaskan coast, but has since been found
floating in various parts Of the Pacific
ocean, along the American and Asiatic
shores. This seaweed grows ina very
curious manner. Large quantities oft
are found at 4 little distance from
shore, and at depths not exceeding 800
feet. On loamy bottom large thickets
Of this plant take root, and a stem Of
the thickness Of ordinary cord grows
upward. At its top there is a pear
shaped balloon, which grows with the
stem, and when it reaches the surface
of the water it often measures six feet
and more in length, with a diameter of
four feet six inches. This balloon has
of course, an upward tendency, and
keeps the stems growing until it floats
on the surface of the water. From the
top Of this balloon a large tuft ofstrong,
thick, spade-like leaves grow out, which
ordinarily are not more than two feet
long. and which grow and split until
from the balloon q rose-like growth Of
from so to IS feet in,diameter covers the
water. This gigantic weed grows In
such quantities TINT near the shore
large meadow-like islands are formed,
which impede navigation. The natiyea
of the Aleutian islands make manifold
usage of this plant. From their strong
dried stems they make ropes $50 feet
and more long, while balloons Of this
weed furnish them with large vessels
after they are dried, the smaller ones
being used in their boats to bail out
water. The long leaves, after being
dried, are cut into narrow strips and
used for wickerwork; the making OF
baskets and similar furniture. So.
| Louis Republic.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26
tlrlrlnnl constltnenta "a enc 0loha.

M. Moissan states in the Annales de
Clinic ct de Physique that most Of the
stable compounds known to science dis
appear in the electric furnace. The
only exceptions mrefthe perfectly crys-
tallized borides. siIicides. and carbideE
discovered by him. These, he thinks
probable. are the original constituents
Of the globe. and muststiu exist tnso1ne
Of the 6tara.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26

In India there IL q gpeeieao Of hatteray
in which the male has the &s wing
yellow and the right enc ypA ne
eolcrs 81 the female me- vice versa
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1896-12-26

hilarious friends, / heard ysn uso ypEne
very unscriptural Language
'This surprised and peTplexed me-
and I asked him what It was that I
said. You said "Confound I'll" he re-
piled. Hereafter you should not call
down a curse or a m~alediction upon any
thing, bat let your communication be
yea yea and nay nay"
Some of the preachers then discussed
the doubtful propriety Of such words
and the use Of slang, when ! was re-
minded of the way in which Bob Taylor
reproved a man. and so I told them
how a rough countryman was intro
duced to Taylor, and after looking him
over and up and down he said: Well
Bob, it seems to me I have e you
somewhere before, but / don't knows
where in the hell it was.e what part
Of hell do you live imp asked Taylor
without a smile or q change Of Jun
tenance.
Elbow is politics with you?' inquired
a Roman friend. "All calm and serene,
said I. "Are we going to have better
times?' said he. Eyes, OF course" said
1. ''We always do after a presidential
election, but how long it will last re-
mains to be e We win now have q
fair test for several years of q gold
standard and a high protective tariff,
and alI's well that ends well.p
4 ''The day before election said he,
Zone of the most valued members of my
church said "a me that the nation was
in great pern-greater peril than Il
had been since the war; that he trem-
bled to think of the momentous re-
suits that might ensue in case Bryan
was elected. Reputation, anarchy and
ruin would follow in it's wake. I lis
tened to him with profound attention,
for he earnestly believed what he said.
a few minutes afterward ] met another
valued member of my church, and he
said: Il tell you, my friend and brother,
we are going to whip this fight. Provi-
dence is on our side, and will not let
Bryan be defeated. / sincerely believe
that he has been raised up to save the
country, and if he is not elected there
will be a revolution. The d-owntrodden
people will not stand the expressions OF
the plutocracy any longer / told q
friend of these alarming and diverging
views OF two good men, and lie said it
reminded him of the old negro preach
er who said: tAh, my bred'rin', dur am
but two roads to trabel-one am de
broad road dat leads to destruction.
and de oder am de narrer road datlends.
to de debil; now what you gwine to
do-which road you take? An old
darby exclaimed: Bless de Lnwd, I
takes to dc woodsi'"
Well, I was sorry to part company
with the preachers, for they are always
to be enjoyed. They are in good health
and good humor, and are cleah in body
and in mind. They are the best class
of people, and their example and moral
ity and Christian faith is the best safe
guard Of our government. They haTO
gone to Athcns, and both the synod and
the circus open there to-day. Tha
grand procession win pass their church.
and / reckon they win take a recess
II reckon they wills for it is no sin
to look at the animals in the streets 4
it?-Biu Arp, in Atlanta Constitution.
4
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-10-31
BRIGHT BITS.

The mlldest-tempered man in the world
will slam the door after him when his
wife asks him to bring in the flower pots
off the porch so the frost won't hurt them.
New York Press.
Not In the Mood.-First Clubman.-Are
you going to Mrs. de Styles musicale to-
night?
Second Clubman-"No I'm not in a mood
for talking. '-New York Weekly
"A Chicago girl sued man for ST., 900
for taking a kiss, and was only awarded
$3.50 Perhaps the jury labored under the
impression that twas a sample, at whole
sale rates.-Cincinnati Commercial.
The two psychologists gazed at the
heap of bones which they had exhumed.
"This must have been an ancient burying-
ground" said one More likely a bicycle
riding academy" replied the other.-Life.
-"Mr. Whoopley, If you will only say
that can have your daughter am willing
to wait for her forever"
TITS go. young man. You can have
her when the times uD."-Detroit Free
Press. nava,
I, --EIers Level Head - Madame, can sell
you this, valuable book, What to Do Be
fore the Physician Comes? mo, sir; you
don't catch me doing the work and then
letting the doctor draw the pay."-Chicago
Record.
-"Tandems?" said the dealer. Eyes, sir.
We have several makes. What kind do
you wish to look at?" 1--WE heard" re-
piled Mr. Gaswell, "of the lAdcap tandem.
You might show me one of that kind
Chicago Tribune. a.
May kiss you, Miss Jane?"
/ III am sorry to see, Mr.. Briggs, that you,
too, are affected by the prevailing cause OF
business depression"
"And that isT'
Lack of confidence"
Then he kissed her.-CleYeland Plain
Dealer.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-10-31

Eyes" said Mrs. Gimp, according to the
Cleveland Plain Dealer, as the door closed
behind the new maid. shes the most re-
liable girl ever hired. OF course. she isn't
a beauty
"Wen. don't know about that" inter
rupted Mr. Gimp. with some suddenness.
1T depends a good deal upon what you
consider beauty The girl has a lovely eye,
hasn't she, Briggs?'
"A fine eye, said Briggs.
"And beautifully rounded arm. Did you
notice her arm, Briggs?'
at was a nice arm" said Briggs.
At this moment Mrs Gimp arose sud
denly and left the apartment.
Say" said Briggs, what in thun-
der"
"Listen!'' said Mr.. Gimp.
The sound of voices in alteration come
from the direction Of the kitchen.
Mrs C. is discharging the new girl
said Mr. Gimp.
But / don't see" said Briggs, what
1.-The truth is" interrupted Mr.. Gimp,
1.-The new girl couldn't broil a steak for
sour apples! You seer
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-10-31
PERSONAL.

Lady Francis Pelham-Clinton Beres-
ford-Hope. onoe May Yohe, is said to be
taking vigorous and effective measures
for improving the condition of the tenants
on an estate in Ireland of which she is
the owner,
lit is generally known that Archbishop
Benson. who died suddenly at Hawarden a
few days ago. not only was not offended
when, his son wrote remarkable story
called "Dodo," but read the book, enjoyed
It, and pronounced it very clever.
Mrs. John NJ. Palmer, the wife of the
presidential nominee of the sound money
democrats, always accompanies her hus-
band on his "stumping" tours and pollti-
cal missions and acts as his amanuensis.
Mrs, Palmer is a woman of fine literary
taste and was city librarian in Spring
field, Ill., for several years prior to her
marriage.
The portrait which the emperor of
Austria ordered for London from the
painter Horowitz has been finished. 1t
represents the emperor in the, uniform of
the Horse Guards to the honorary col
onelN Of which Queen Victoria has re-
Gently appointed him, and wearing the Or
der of the garter The work was finished
III Nhc CHipciOL via a. AoOliif "AACAA ~
put at the artists disposal. Both the en-
peror and the empress have expressed
qualification at the excellence of the por-
trait.
AT a gathering in New Haven DR..
Watson Gan Mac1earen) told a story
about his trip to the Holy Land, to which
4 ne had been looking forward for number
Of years with plessurable anticipation.
AS he was nearing the center of historic
Palestine he met an American, who was
making all haste to get away. After a
few greetings, such as two English-speak-
ing men, meeting in a foreign country
might exchange the American asked DR.
Watson where he was going. ITO Jerusa-
lem," was the reply. jerusalem ex-
claimed the American in tones of un-
feigned disgust, you don't want to &c
there. I've just come away. It's a SLOW
town. Why. there isn't a daily newspa-
per in the whole place.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-10-31


Why do partisan papers publish state
ments which they have every reason to
believe are false? What purpose do such
statements serve? Nobody believes them.
They cause no man to change his vote,
and they are forgotten almost Immediate
ly by nine tenths of those who read them.
We are led to make these remarks by a
statement which appeared q day or two
ago in the Philadelphia Inquirer a radical
republican paper. The statement was
that the managers Of the Bryan campaign
have arranged to 'plsce" $4,000 900 in the
doubtful states of the central west. The
paper intimates that this money has been
contributed by the silver kings, and says,
practically, that it is to be used to p---
chase votes.
The thought that this statement sug-i
gests is that the silver kings have sud
denly become very liberal The republi-
can papers have been stating all along
that the managers of the democratic cam
paign are without means sufficient to con-
duct their campaign properly. More than
once they have openly asserted that the
treasury Of the democratic campaign com
mittee was in a bankrupt condition. How
is It then that one of these republican pa
pers has discovered that the democratic
managers are so well off that they can
afford to set apart the immense sum of
81, 100000 with which to purchase votes?
The statement carries it's own refutation.
The people know that the great bulk Of
the wealth of the country is on the side Of
Mckinley. All the great corporations and
trusts and pretty nearly all the rich men
are anxious for his election. At no time
has Mr.. Hanna complained that he could
not get money enough for campaign ex-
penses. The understanding is that he has
had all he wanted. If either party there
fore is going to buy votes in the doubtful
states it is much more likely to be the re-
publican than the democratic party.
We do not, of course. charge that the
republican managers have arranged TO
buy votes We don't know anything
about it. The probabilities are that there
will be no vote buying on an extended
scale. A regular system Of bribing could
not be carried on very we'll 1t would take
a very large amount of money to make
bribery successful in a campaign in which
so many states are regarded as doubtful.
1t is pretty safe to conclude that the
democrats will not attempt to buy the
election. not only because they haven
the money to do so, but also because It is
against their policy to elect President
with purchased votes. sa
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-10-31
struck II Right.

Yes" said the reader Of hats, accord
ing to the Detroit Free Press, II can tell
the moment I look at hat what kind of
a man the wearer was, how old, whether
tall or short, and other characteristics.
Oh, it's no trick. 1 don't know how /
came by the faculty. .3 .
1T must be a gift" suggested one Of US.
Like second-sight or mind reading"
observed another.
Bring on your hat" said a third.
I'm anxious to see how it works.
A large number of hats were produced
from one source or another, large hats,
soft hats and stiff hats, and their owner
ship was successfully concealed.
The hat reader took a rather broad
brimmed, soft. shabby hat and began to
inspect 1t.
This" he said, sis the hat of a tramp"
How do you know?"
''By unmistakable signs. The brim is
turned up in the back; that comes from
often sleeping in haymows or under trees.
1t is pulled down in front to shade the
fac from inspection"
Wonderful. Go on
Its owner was often hungry. He has
gnawed the brirn. He was dishonest for
he hid things in the crown. The shape
of the crown shows that he had the point
ed skull of an idiot. Am 1 r.ght?"
Il guess so, old boy said the host of
the occasion, That's my hat and when
l was on my walking tour this summer
l did nearly all you mention. Try an
other"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-10-31
The Paving of south Broad street.


There are two points in the little inter
view with DR.. Falhgant which appeared
in the Morning News yesterday that are
entitled to attention. One relates to the
stringency in monetary affairs and the
other to the adyisability of giving Au-
gusta gravel a trial as a paving material.
Just now there is not plentiful supply
of cash in the hands of the people, and
therefore 1t may be doubted that taxes
will be paid promptly. If there should
be difficulty in collecting taxes as they
become due the city might not be in a
position to pay out large sum OF money
for paving. Such being the condition of
affairs would 1t not be better to walt until
financial matters return to a normal con-
dition before making any contract for
paving?
The suggestion in respect to Augusta
gravel appears TO be a good one. The
gravel answers admirably on the Ogee-
chez road, making a very hard and
smooth roadway. 1t is said that it would
make dusty street. So it would, but not
more dusty than asphalt The lightest
wind raises a big dust from the smooth
asphalt. 1t would be an easy matter to
keep the gravel paved street dampened,
just as easy as II is to keep the asphalt
streets dampened, and the cost would be
no greater.
One thing greatly in favor Of Augusta
gravel is its cheapness. To pave South
Broad street with it wouldn't cost half
as much as it would to pave it with as
phalt or brick, and it is probable that It
wouldn't cost any more to keep 1t in re-
pair. 1t should be kept in mind that
there is not great deal of travel on
South Broad street. and is not likely to be
for many years.
Why not give the gravel a trial for one
or two squares? The offer is made that If
it doesn't come up to expectations no
charge will be made for the gravel. In
view of the fact that there are reasons
for delaying the paving of the street a
little while it does seem as if it would be
advisable to give the gravel a trial. The
people could then see for themselves what
kind of pavement it would make, and
could determine whether it would be sat
sfactory.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-10-31
piscovercd the secret.

They had been married two weeks and
commenced their life of love in cottage,
say the San Francisco Post.
"I'm going to bake some biscuit, DEAR
she announced. Won't you help me?'
Certainly. love-" he replied.
They kissed and took down the bread
pan.
Now, let me see, dear; I take little
baking powder. There-7-a spoonful and a
half"
He kissed her rapturously.
Now, a little salt. dear. There, 7
think that will do. Now, little pepper
no, how silly of me-"
They laughed and kissed again.
Now, some water dear" And she
proceeded to pour a cupful in the pan and
stirred 1t up.
''Oh, dear; now I've forgotten what else
/ must put in" she. sighed.
wouldn't little-er-hour help it out,
love?"
''Oh, yes; -four" and they kissed again.