Evening star., 1896-03-28
HuMon OF ARrEMus WARD.
With "Reminiscences of His Earlier
Life In Cleveland, Ohio.


Ward, went from Toledo to.Cleveland to
become city editor of the Plain Dealer, at
that time and now the leading democratic |
journal in northern Ohio. whose proprietor.
Joseph w. Gray. was a passionate friend
and supporter of Stephen A. Douglas.
Within few weeks after becoming con-
nected with the Plain Dealer-an after
noon paper-Browne began his career as
"Artemus Ward'' by the publication of /
letter dated at Pittsburg, January 81 1857,
printed in the Plain Dealer on January 80, |
addressed to the editor and signed by that |
name.
II rite to no." said Mr. Ward, chow is |
| the show bisnes in Cleveland, have a |
show consisting in part of a Californy /
| Bare snaiks tame foxies &c. also wax |
works my wax works is hard to beat all |
say they Is lifelike and material curiosities
among my wax works Is our Saveyef, Gen
| tayler and Dokter Webster in the ackt of |
killing Dokter Parkman. now mr. editor |
| scratch off few lines and tel me how is |
| the show business in yure city shall have |
hanbils printed at yure offs you scratch |
! my back and lie scratch yure back also
| my show"
The public reception of this short letter
was an unexpected surprise to Browne. 1t
| was talked about at Cleveland; it was ex-
| tensively printed everywhere throughout
| the country, and singularly tickled the
| popular fancy; and when Browne, ex-
| tremely gratified and stimulated by the re-
| cept-on of his letter from Pittsburg, printed
| two or three additional letters in the same
| vein, equally droll and characteristic,
| new figure had appeared in American hu-
| morous literature, which at once took the
| leading place. and whose name-so far as
1t is now possible to JUDGES as perma-
nently enduring as that Of any writer of
| mis- time. Mr.. Lincoln's love of Brownies
fun was very keen; and certainly no his
torlan, giving an account Of that men,
orable meeting of his cabinet on September
| y, 1862, at which final action was taken
on the emancipation proclamation, can
omit Mr.. Nncoln's reading of Wards let
ter entitled "A Hgh-handed Outrage at
| Utica" as preliminary to the discussion of
that supreme act of his administration.
During considerable period of his resi-
dence in Cleveland Browne occupied a
room on the fourth floor of the post Office
building, on Water street, the windows Of
which looked out over Lake Erie and upon
the beautiful country to the west of the
Cuyahoga river; a majestic view, of which
he was extremely fond. He had in this
room a little pine writing table, three or
four chairs-one of which was rocker =
and venerable sofa. 1t was here that he
| did some of his best work: that work, at
any late, that earliest attracted the at
| tention Of the country.
. His Sunday mornings were given up to
visits from his friends, among whom were
. George b. Lester, a brother-in-law of Sem
; ator John =. Jones of Nevada; Charles +.
Wilson, now cashier of the First National
Bank of L.tchteld, Conn; Mr. j. f. Ryder
, still resident at Cleveland, and two or
| three others.
Browne was delightful companion at
, ali times, but specially SO on these Sunday
, morning occasions full of fun. and oddities
: not in the least easy to describe-one of
, which was that of always speaking of his
l mother Caroline. Sometimes he would
read what he had written for in the
I Plain Dealer during the week. these read
{ ings being usually accompanied with run
: ming comments that were in themselves as
, droll, or even more droll, because they
I We're more free, than his written drolli-
f ness. He was a good deal of an actor,
3 withal, and made use of his m;micry with
D exceeding effect.
i | Sunday, he was irresistibly ridiculous. 1T
. is susceptible of absolute proof" he SOL
: emny declared. that a ball will run down
| an inclined plane, and yet how few people
: | there are who know 1t! An earthern bowl
v dropped from the roof of three-story house
e | WILL if it strike a stone pavement, be shat
Y | tered into many pieces! A bean pole, legiti-
t mately used, IS an instrument of good. yet
@ | If it be Sharpened at one end and run
a through a man, 1t will cause the most in
e tense pain and perhaps produce contortions.
: | The wick of an unlighted candle may safely
be manipulated, but If you light that wick
Il | and thrust your hand into the blaze and
s keep 1T there half an hour, sensation OF
:; | excessive and diSagreeable warmth will be
= experienced. A dozen wrought iron nails
may be dashed violently from the steeple
i. of large meeting house to a brick sidewalk
and sustain no injury, but the same expert
l. ! ment with dozen clay pipes will result diff
= ferently.
The effect upon the sidewalk in either
g case, however, will be the same. You may
lie down upon the ground and let a kitten
walk over you with perfect safety, but il
you put a heavy drdy horse in the place OF
the kitten, you will Immediately experience
a disagreeaDle pressure. Hasty pudding anG
milk are a harmless diet if eaten moderate.
ly. but If you eat it necessarily for six con.
secutive weeks it will produce instant death
!. You gaze with indifference upon bull Wher
y, he is placidly eating grass in pasture. but
l! If the animal becomes nfuriated and at
4, tempts to assist you over a rail fence with
y those horns, they Immediately become oh
jects of deep-seated disgust. On the sam,
principle we can easily hold in our arms an
infant, and experience delight in doing so
y but it would be very difficult for us to per
form similar experiment with a corpulen
old gentleman who is in state Of uncon
r scious inebriety, while the delight afforded
IS by the performance in this instance woulo
n, hardly be worth mentioning. All thes,
things seem wonderful at first blush, bu
y science makes them clear as clear can be-"
These propositions, addressed to his visit
ID ors Mine Ancient Pistols" were de
livered with persistent serious gravit,
H. that was wholly delicious.
20 Some washington gossip. from our owl
lie correspondent" under date of January 80
1859. was read on still another Sunday 9TH
n capital just now," said ''our correspondent
''s scene Of unprecedented gayety. Th
r, beau monde is quite recherche. Bal masques
y sorrees dansanteS, etc. are nightly occur
le rences, to say nothing of the dancing par
II ties, whereas the poet felicitously hath it
~ Bright the lamps shone Ger fair wome,
and brave men,
er Last night Mrs. De Snobbe, the lovel,
II. wife of the noble ambassador from tn
p Lobos Islands, gave a grand social /
was truly recherche sorry dansante Wit
S, sparkling repartee, and bon hominy crowne,
'y the golden hours. There was the stalwar
L. and princely Snodgrass with bright but
as tons all over him, and there was his wifi
also, who, although she had but lately re
c. covered from severe attack of embonpoint
n. looked quite ad infinitum. But n'importe
so To return to the gay scene: Here comes tn
- fascinating and truly beautiful Miss Smy the
to daughter of the elder Smythe of BeanviIle
ae Her features are classic, but tinged wit
just enough bon hominy to make them a.
Id fait. She is dressed in gorgeous style.
Id asked her how much her things cost bu
in She with beautiful naivete, told me tina
when I found out she wished I'd let he
tn know-saying which she whirled her fa
o (Which is dove-white silk covered all owe
o with little silver spangles) around, with de
lightful abandon. Depend upon it. however
X that Miss Smythe's things cost large sur
Y, of money. But old Smythe has lots of tina
article. He made princely fortune puf
fishing country newspaper before he wa
elected to Congress. But-soft, with state