The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-07-02
BARKER's BICYCLE.

Barker is an old friend Of mine, and
this story Is not told with any malicious
intention Not for the world would !
do anything to rupture the bond. of
friendship which has existed between
us for many years.
have had n talk with Barker about 1t
anyway, and he says he doesn't mind,
provided | handle the thing in neat
and intelligent way, and do not exag-
gerate, which I shall certainly be very
careful not to do.
Barker is employed in a bank during
the day He has never made it very
clear to me just what the nature of his
occupation is in that institution, but he
can be seeIi at any time between the
hours of ten and three seated on high
stool and waving n long black ruler.
] am informed that he uses the ruler
once in awhile to draw lines with, and
even puts down an occasional figure
in a large book that Is always open
in front of him; hut this is only here
say, and as ] have promised to confine
this narrative strictly TO facts would
rather not make any positive state
ment about it.
But while it may be well to give some
short insight into the nature of Barker's
daily pursuits and the general tenor of
his existence il is by no means essen
tial to the full comprehension of th'
events with which this story has ~
deal. as he scene is laid entirely after
the SET nf sun. at which time Barker
ceases he an ordinary individual and
beco- n bicycle ficnd of the most dre-
pera description.
Balner's bicycle is a machine of the
most approved pattern. and equipped
with all the latest appliances for Sc
curing speed. safety and grace. There
was another point, however, on which
he experienced great annoyance. He
coulA never find device which would
exercise a sufficiently startling effect
on pedestrians, and make them jump
out of his way in as lively manner as
b. would like.
~ bell amt worth cent, you KNOW"
he would say to me. "People are get
ting so used to hearing them that they
don't pay any attention to them. I
ran over three little boys, dog and
an old lady last week. and it's getting
to be a nuisance"
said l thought it was, and that
had no doubt the three little boys, the
dog and the old lady also thought SO.
''It's an outrage" said Barker. "when
man can't go along the street with
out heing tipped over by people who
don't look where they are going. There
ought to be law against It. Now,
what want on my bicycle is some sort
of a thing that will show people who
go rushing around the streets at night
that they don't own the whole town.
"I don't mind telling you, though" !"
added Barker, shat it will take pretty
smart man to invent something that
will fill the bill. You see, it has got to
be something out of the ordinary run.
The only way can make them move
now is to yell at them, and there's too
| much work about that"
| "Well, Barker" said I, "I am not an
extraordinarily smart man. but If yell
ing at them makes them move can fix
you" ,..if.
| "How?" said Barker.
"Carry monograph" said I.
| Barker stood for few moments in
profound meditation. Then he slapped
me on the back with every appearance
Of great enthusiasm.
Perkins" said he, you're an in
ventive genius. Now, here I've been
puzzling my brains for month about
this thing, and couldn't hit on q simple
little scheme like that. I'll go and get q
phonograph right away"
There's one thing about it. Barker
said I. land that is that phonographs
cost good deal of money"
what do I care for that?" said he
"I'd rather pay hundred dollars than
be constantly in danger from those
| reckless people,"