The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1896-07-23
THB JoKER'S BUDGET.
TESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
No Reason for Haughtiress...Made Light
OF 1.-two Birds With One Stone...Au
Improvement, Etc, Etc.
Made Light of II.

Made Light Of It.
Mr.. Dolley-What do you mean by
saying that your father made light Of
my proposal?
Miss GiSgles-Well, he did. He used
it to ignite his cigar with.-Detroit
Free Press.
An Improvement.
Professor (reading)-"Dropping the
reins, Mr. Flood assisted his wife from
the carriage, and together they entered
the store" Can any little boy improve
upon this sentence?
Bright Pupil-The reins descended
and the Floods came.-Life.
Would Expect Him.
Watts-So you don't look on young
Sharpe as coming man, don't you?
Potts-I would if were in charge Of
the penitentiary-India Jour-
nal.
Orpheus and Morpheus.
Miggs-Your husband Is great lover
of music, isn't he?
Mrs Diggs-Yes, indeed. have seen
him get up in the middle of the night
and try to compose.
Miggs-What?
Mrs. Diggs-The baby.
The Influence OF Food.
Il am so fond of candy" said Miss
Kittish to Mr.. GOslin.
That's what makes you so sweet,
doncher know"
You must believe, then, that food
has an important effect on persons
characteristics.
81 do
"What quantity of noodle soup you
have consumed, Mr.. Goslin."
ALitte knowledge.
First Small Boy-What is filthy
lucre?
Second ditto (who reads the newspa-
pers)-Why, money with microbes on it
of course.
Changing the Name.
John" she said, rather sternly, "the
coal bin is empty"
"Yes," was the disconsolate reply,
'it's that way most of the time. It's
never of use in any immediate emer-
gency. I'm going to change it's name,
and call it a coaI-has- as-been."-Washing
ton Star.
The Reason.
Pastor-Do you ever play with little
bad boys, Johnnie?
Johnnie-Yes, sir
Pastor-Fm surprised, Johnnie! Why
don't you play with good little boys?
Johnnie-Their mammas won't let
'em.
Wise Precaution.
Maude-Isn't that new process of pho
tographing through solid substances
wonderful? How do wish could get
photograph of Algy's brain!
Belle-Why, do you think there is
anything serious the matter with his
brain?
Maude-No, but want to be sure he
has one, you know.-Detroit Free Press.
''How has Bluffton been doing" ask
ed the man who had been away from
his native community for some time.
"Well, he has made a great deal Of
. money, but
Getting along well, is hep
"Well, he seemed to get along first
rate until he tried to pass some of il" !"
o Two Birds with One Stone.
. "Molly, what shall get you for your
birthday-a doll or some candy" asked
, a Texas mother Of her pet.
Molly was silent for few moments
, and then a happy thought struck her.
Q "Get me q doll-one Of those candy
g dolls that can suck."-Texas Siftings
Philosophy on the Cable.
In the car:
' "Do you believe in the greatest good
It to the greatest number?
+ "Well, yes"
8 "Then don't try to 81 down on thii
|
v Portable room nos-. but if you sit down
twelve of us will be crowded"
60 Record.
= Popular Women.
q Miss Longpurse--Why, Of course
Helen of Troy was beautiful. Do yo
suppose there would have been TWEEN
ty-year war over her If she had no
= been beautif1l3
. Mr.. Shortcash forgetting himseT)-
Oh, l don't know. May be she was rici
10 New York Weekly.
M Going Down.
! De Hote-Yes, Brown Is going dow
hill. Saw him in very tough compan
last night.
We De Blote-Dear, dear! Is it possible
rst Where?
ne De Hote-Talking to a steak at tt