St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-06-06

IL he monght call in passin and then let
nature take her course. The deacon he
had the spring disease. He had scam
dlous bad case of it. He had it SO bad
till he could mighty nigh taste it. Tut
he didn't have the necessary grit in his
craw to 60 on and take the medicine :
kill or cure.
Now, in the main time the general
facts in the case had leaked out pro-
miscus in the settlement when Blew
Scroggins and Andy Lucas went fish
in for Deacon Joiner, and the deacon he
bit more free and quicker than any
speck!cd trout ever gobbled q blue-tail
fly.
Tho Deacon Takes the Bait.
So in them days it came to pass on
Saturday and late along in the shank
Of the evenin--that Blev and Andy and
the deacon all met up together on the
road from town. The weather hit was
Jest simply amphibious," as Andy tells
it, with the flowers bloomin and the
birds singin and the sun shinin and the
bees hummin.
"Ef was playin your hand, deacon"
says Blew as they rid on together, ''by
gatlins would play it to win, or
would throw down the CARDS and quit
the game. Why don't you quit fiddlin
and foolin and futt.rin around the
edges and 60 on and marry the wilder.
and let the agony blow ovcr?"
''Them's my sentiments, deacon"
put in the great horse trader. IF .
horse can run and won't run, some
body ought to pull his shoes of and turn
him out for crow bait"
"Well, now, boys" says the deacon,
'.you NIL know and everybody knows
that am more than willin to proceed
with the proceedins if could only tell
for certain when to come in. But, dad
blame it, the widder is SO everlastin
high-headed and coltish-she pulls on
tue bits 50 constant and so hard, till, by
gracious. don't know where to break
through or how to start"
Il know what is the matter with you,
deacon" says Blew; ''blamed il you
Amt skeered."
mo. amt skeered," says the deacon.
Il have seen more women than one in
my day and generation, boys, and the
rustlin of q bunch Of calico, with ;
few silks and satins throwed in for good
measure, DON'T jar my hand . blessed
bit"
"Wcll, il you amt skeered, can tell
you where to break in and how to take
holt" says Blew. ''Climb into your best
Sunday higgins tomorrow and 60 up
there and catch the widder and hold her
and kiss her. Don't 60 to foolin and
fumblin around till you lose your nerve.
but sail right in and nail her on the
spot"
"Then you can tell her that you didn't
have your right mind-that you had
SIGH monstrous bad case till you raley
didn't know what you was dOin," says
Andy by way of a hrncer.
Don't you do ndthin Of the sort.
Deacon" says Blew. EsYou tell her that
you jest naturally. loved her SO hard,
and % fcrvent, and SO reckless till by
gatlinE you couldn't hcip It."
'.Dadburned If don't do It" says the
Deacon, which by this time the boys
had worked him up to the stickin PIN.
''Sink or swim, hit or miss, right or
wrong, survive or surrender, win go
and kiss the widdder."
The Storm Broke Loose.
On their return back home from
town that night Blew and Andy come by
our house to let me know that the "old
hen was on, with full settin Of eggs
and every egg full of dcvilment," and
she WINS more than probable to come of
the next day.
So, consequentially, it want no ways
surprisin to me when Deacon Joiner
rid by the next mornin. dressed in an
inch Of his life and headed for the Wild
der Logan's. The deacon had on his
adjudication Winchester" coat, as
Aunt Nancy Newton would call it. and
cinnamon drops on his hair till blamed
il you couldn't smell him comm for
300 yards.
Deacon Joiner he rid on up there to
the Logan place. He hitched his mule
at the horse rack. He went bustlin into
the house. He saw the wilder. He
caught her. He helt her. He kissed.
Then the storm broke loose. Every.
thing that goes up must come down.
The widder, she screamed. She tainted.
She fell down in it. Then the Logan
boys come into the game. They saw thu
deacon. He had lost his nerve and was
burnin the wind for the horse rack.
They went out after him. They caught
him.
No, we didn't have no Arst-class
funeral pursuant to adjournment. But
when them Logan boys got through
with Deacon Joiner and left him out
there in the big road, me and Blew and
Andy had to hook up = one-horse wagon
and 60 and pick him up, tender like and
gentle and haul him back home. The
widder she has now went and got
warrant out against Deacon Joiner
for assault with intent to murder. And
the deacon says, by al that's good and
bad, if he ever lives to git up from there
he will be forever done with 1t least two
men and al he women In creation.
But somebody had to suffer. OF
course it was wrong. Everybody knows
it was wrong. and I wouldn't even sortcr
halfway make out like It was right.
But the good Lord mad. Deacon Joiner
and Blew Scroggins and Andy Lucas.
But after he made them three he never
did make any more exactly like them.
RUFUs Sanders.
Puzzle Deoes u EuEoQo.
According to the latest statistics, tn
public debts Of the European nations
aggregate .423. ~. Oo0. 900. or about 50
per capita for the whole population.
Tho heaviest per capita indebtedness,
$3.50. = in Portugal. France comes next
with $13s. England's rate y about 500.
g. - = -