The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-07-29
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.


= A japanese farmer is reckoned
to be monopolist if he occupies more )
than 10 acres of land. s
- In round numbers there are over
900, 900 persons drawing pensions as a:s
result Of the Civil war.
- If 6 man will reduce his faults
he will find that at the same time hes
is also reducing his expenses.
- There is no way of making a q
permanent success in this world with. 8
out giving an honest equivalent for it.
- There is something wrong with =
the child, depend upon, it who would
not rather eat between meals than at
meals.
Fruit tastes better than medicine,
and usually does quite as much good:
Fruit and vegetables are the best half +
Of a good living. ss
= The maximum age assigned to
the pine is said to be 700 years ]; to-
the red beech 245; to the oak 40;
and to the ash I45 years. is
EYES," she sighed, eve had to-
disband our debating society" why
so ~ "Well, you see, the girls natu-
rally couldn't all sit still and listen to
one girl without talking back.
= Uncle Bob-"I hope, Tommy,
you are favorite with your teacher:
Tommy-"I think I must be. She
can't seem to get enough Of me, or.
she wouldn't keep me in 80 much.
= Only about two minutes are re-
quired for the blood to course throug y
the heart, thence to the lungs, back
to the heart, and then through the en-
tire body, and return to the heart.
= Before a fire brigade in Berlin
starts for a fire members are drawn
up in line, and, military fashion, salute
their captain; then of they run, having
lost more than minute by this fool- 81
cry. s5ss:;ss
When lie once gets into the
world it is astonishing how hard it is
to get it out. You may beat itabout
the head until it seems to have given
up the ghost, and then, thenext day
meet it on the street as healthy as
ever. "A 20
= The minister-"When yoa grow
be?" "a preacher. .. All, / am
glad to hear you say that, my little
man. Now tell me why you think you
would like to be a preacher. 90 Cause
then the folks would always git out
the best things they had in the house
to eat when they seen me comm &
sMy dear," demonstrated the
wife, peering cut from undert the bed +
clothes, "I do wish you would use the
word 'sheol.' It sounds better. = eI
may sound better at times, replied
her husband, who was noisily nursing
his heel, "but when a man steps on q
tack he wants the old version.
A resident of England, who died
at the age of 62, attracted considerable
attention in the community in which =
he lived on account Of phenomenal
growth Of hair which appeared on his
head just before his death. For over
IL years he had been bald, and then
in some inexplicable way a heavy
growth of hair suddenly appeared, E
like chat of an infant.
= In some Of the gorgeous new eo-sS
called family hotels large room in the
basement is set aside for the nightlys,
lodging of the dogs belonging to those
| who have apartments in the house.
The duty of the caring for the pets is 2;
left generally to one porter, but dain.
ties sent to Fido, such as broiled
| chickens legs. often find a resting.
place in the NAV of the man instead da
Of under the dogs shaggy jacket.
Neu York World.
= An eccentric old bachelor, who
died recently at Odessa, Russia, be-
uueathed 1900, 900 rubles (about S2,-
0OO, ,0OW to his four neices on condi-
tion that they first go into service as
chambermaids, washerwomen or coal
women for Is months. The local pos
lice are charged with the duty Of see-
| ing that the condition Of the will ass
strictly complied with. So far the
heiresses have received 863 offers Of
marriage. y
johnny had not been at school
Monday afternoon, SO when ne came
on Tuesday morning the teacher sent
him home to get written excuse
from his mother, explaining his ab-
sence. After about an hour he res
turned with ink on his fingers and q
somewhat soiled note, which read as
follows: "Miss Brown, please excuse
Johnny for not being to school yes.
terday. I could not come because ! s.
tore my, pants, and oblige Mrs. J
Smith. s..ss
"Fellow citizens" cried the can
didate for the Legislature, "when thsS
war cloud gloomed over this fair land
and my opponent was sulking in his
tent, where was I then?" Tell 1T,
tell it'll" cried man in the crowd.
"Fellow citizens" continued the ora-
tor, II will tell it! was in my shirt
sleeves, with barred brow, pulling fods
der for the Confederacy; for, with the
instinct of patriot, l knew that those
mules would be hungry when Lee sur.
rendered!'
: It's a great relief,,., remarked
Meandering Mike, 'ter .t'ink det dere
ain t 10 call fur us to worry bout de-
financial policy er dis country
"Still ye can't help kinder t'inkinl
bout 'em,'' replied Plodding Pete,
Especially when everybody else is
givin' 'emselves up ter it. Right
down in yer heart, Mike, what metal!
do yer honestly favor, gold or silver 2p
"Neider," was the prompt response.
"Ez long ez beer is FIVE cents a glass,
I don't see no use er havin, anything
but nickel"
a lobster greatly breads thunder
and when the peals are very loud and
heavy it "drops" its claws and makes
for deep water in great fright. This 4
claw-dropping operation is most pecu5s!
liar, the creature actually amputatlng
its great claws so as not to be impeded
in its flight when it makes its ahead-
long rush to escape from the thunder
god. Any great fright will induce
| IL. H., Ill, o1.1,e hnf