Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1896-07-30

it's no use lighting against fate, ny
which | mean this hideous vice of ;he
ridiculous. It's in lay blUod-Ihe only
bad turn my mother did me.
What happened to-day? Oh, nothing
again. nothing. simply stumbled into
the conference of the 'Sisterhood of
Female Ph:lanthroPists, and was
dragged TO the platform. where | sat
facing tie audience, and he shuddeIed
at the rCmembTancr.
'She WAS a most eloquent speaker,
and she was cnlarging on the courage
il needed to ask stranger to join the
sisterhocd. Well do | remember my
feelings ana then she Travelled into
autobiography. Your feelings that day
were doubtless the same as mine and
again she turned aside, and we were
kept in anguish. Yes, you and l had
the same experience, and we shall negcr,
never GIrget it'-heIe every one made
ready 20 take note. Dear sisters, did
not each of us burst that minute into u
violent perspiration" There seemed
no way of getting out except through
the hall, and it was really very good of
them not TO hiss me.
"Of course III never run such risks
again, but il does not matter where am,
this evil spirit will seize me; il is my
profound conviction that there is "a
personal devil, and that humor is one
of his choice Instruments.
You know that wonderful verger of
ours who is an undcrstudy of an alder
man? Well, he took charge of party
of stangers az the door. who had come
in at the venitc, and started procession
he Leading ma jestically. chanting as
he went. and gently beating time with
his left hand. Then he turned AT a GER
tain pew, and motioned to his convoy
TO enter, bu: there was nobody. The
people had found seats for themselves
at the hack, and The procession had
consisted of the great man himself.
When | stood at the lectern, the sight
came up before me, and Invent to pieces
over the word Nebuchadnezzar.
AS for funerals''-Fletcher was de-
termincd TO make a clean breast of it
they are simply terror TO me; men
play such pranks and are SO unreal.
You know Bibby, what droll, chubby
faced, hearty little man he is?" Yes,
] did know Bibby. We'll. he came yes
terday into the room where we were all
sitting in that awful silence with an
expression so woebegone that / corld
have shaken him; ne sat down beside
me, and sighed like blast furnace"
Which was too much for your wick
edness?"
Il only said in a natural voice: Bitter
east wind and if the wretched creature
did not reply: '-Ah, yes. very uncx-
pected'-he did not l.now the relatives
by sight. and had mistaken the docCor
for the chief mourner-'and sad. We
are thee to-day and here Tomorrow
Then if he didn't wag mis- head. and
Satan seemed to take possession of me.
1T isn't that / am not ashamed of my
self, or that l don't take precautions.
! have not preached sermon for years
withou: reading il over once for the
special purpose of scoring out any sim
gle word that would provoke smi.e.
Yet people laugh when ! preach in
strange churches, although am as sol
emn as = grave-tliggcr, and Il rascal;y
newspaper called ne an amusing
preacher. As for myself, the public eXc-
cutions have conducted"
''As a counteractive, do you mean?'
Yes, Of course; the moment ! see ANY
danger, / condemn some poor wretch
to death without mercy, and strap his
legs and arms, and place him on the trap
door, and put on the white cap, and pull
the bolt. Surely that is enough. The
number of people have hung at an &C.
clesiastical gathering. say the diocesan
conference, 10 maintain my character,
often fills me with remorsc."
DO ccclesiastics never laugh?" /
dared to inquire.
"Never, except in n quiet, regulated
fashion at some jocose, time-honorcd
clerical pleasantly, and then only i; it
proceed from an archdeacon upwards.
If mere commoner like myself, beiug
overcome 10y the pedantic alb
surdity of ecclesiastical ways, should
express himself freely, you would see
sickly smile on the faces of those SUI
perior men, and afterwards you might
overhear them: Great want of serious
ness; very light mettle, indeed
in fact" and Fletcher became al
most bitter, IF you wish TO succeed in
church or state. never jest, and remcm-
Der what our English humorist said
when, with his friends, he was tastirg
some agreeable tale: Look solemn,
here's n fool coming"
1t was in vain that labored at con-
urging the woodenness of men
that had no humor, their blunders,
yearineEs, and inanities, from all of
which = sense of humor surely delivers
a man. No poor words of mine could Eft
The detected rector Of St. 0rigens, who
eft, declaring that he was n disabled |
man, and that the conditions of solid
success in public life were a stout figure,
a ponderous manner, an impressive
clearance of the throat, but chiefly a
mind cleansed and delivered ard |
guarded from the wicked and destruc-
i've spirit of humor.-Outlook.
The Secret In Rowing.
The professor was crossing a small |
AXE in Ireland. After admiring for |