The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-04-04
JOS. WATERS REPLIES.
He VIII Not Be Kidnapped if He
Knows 1t.
He Indites an Imaginary Epistle
on the Subject
Of His Nomination for Congress by
the Populsts ofthe Fourth
District.

A reporter for the State Journal
happened to be with Capt Joe vat
ers when he read the article in last
evenings State Journal announcing
that the Populists would nominate him
for congress by reclamation.
Would you like to print my letter Of
acceptance 2'' asked Mr. Waters.
The reporter replied that he would be
delighted
All right said Mr. Waters as he
sliced the remains of a penhOidsr, Il
am just in the humOr
The letter was addressed to the re
porter and is as follows.
MY Dear Sir. Your article about me
being kidnapped for congress is wholly
yours by virtue of first discovery.
When the Pops have launched the
thing and in a show of applause pre-
scented me the nomination on u silver
platter, / viii give you my response,
50 that you can stil anticipate all 9th
er papers.
Let US begin
Gentlemen of the convention: Moth
ing that could be said good of me after
/ am dead in the way of fearless Obit-
tuary can wrench my heart like the
expressions you have seen fit to utter
in regard to myself.
They affect me deeply. but not to
such an extent, We're I to accept the
nomination.
AS the campaign progressed
and the air became heated politically,
there would Obtrude upon the thOus-
ands of inflated and complimentary no
tees of your candidate, at first an Oc-
cassiOnal disturbing element of things
in my career that would need some
what of explanation, and which must
confess might qerQlex me and increase
the gravity of the situation. Then the
shower would increase. and while in the
very vortex of political discussion the
walls of wrath would be poured out up
on me and instead of mild diffusive and
general, far away limitations about
your candidate. there would be distinct
allegations as to time and place, verified
by affidavit, Of arson. burglary, counter
feiting, etc. on down to the end Of
the alphabet, that any attempt at de-
Tense would only the more convincing
~ prove
Life is short. am not a Populist
I do not want office
Il want to die simply a private citi-
zen and have the lovely and cOnspicu-
Gus honor on resurrection day of being
the only man who ever was buried in
Kansas and awakened from his long
slumber on that day. who neither wish
ed for. expected or would take any sort
of an office from hog reeve up.
In further declining your nOmina-
ton, it is source Of JOY to me that I
would not have to remastfcate
words already aforetime deliberately
cheWed. about things, men, events and
platform of the Populist party.
But / viii not leave you wholly neon
solable. L am a Republican who viii
not vote for Morrill, under any condi-
tiOn of life or death and viii vote for
no man or ticket that does not pro
nOunce plainly for the people and a
peoples money. even if I have to go to
the polls arm and arm with you"
And sir. if this is not to your taste,
erase what you desire or add to it what
YOU like. except~that the Morrill, fea-
ture of the address must be preserved
in its pristine integrity
Yours very truly
J. c. WATERS.