The islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1891-1899, 1896-06-04

is no record in the Scriptures or else
where, of Eve turning her family out
of doors in order to get the house clean
in Springtime, but no doubt can be felt
that with the first warm days of every
season she began to remind Adam that
the house was just too filthy to live in
any longer that everything would have
to come up, and she dreaded it so for
she was certain to get sick as soon as it
was over 1t is also likely that Cain
and Abel. as soon as they saw the pre-
liminary symptoms. the scrubbing
brushes and mOpS and buckets of
whitewash on the back porch. hid their
caps under their jackets. If they had
any caps or jackets, and abscOnded dl-
rectly after breakfast, spending the
day on the banks Of the nearest pond
and returned home after nightfall. to
be sOundly trounced by the father Of all
mankind at the suggestion Of man
kinds mother, and sent to bed without
their supper. Some things may be
taken for granted, and among them is
the fact that women have always been
attacked by the spring cleaning mad
ness. Pliny mentions the fact that in
his day the Roman wives turned their
houses upside down for week or two
under pretense of getting things clean,
and it is quite probable that the IA
nous picture in the catacombS of
Egypt, representing lot of house
i+,,ro in Of
residence, is a record to the same eff
feet. Archaeologists have dubbed It
"The spOils of war;" and have learned
ly argued that the enemy had taken
the household goods out for the purpose
of carrying them away, but it is more
than likely that some Disguised artist
who had been turned out by his wife
during her attack, took this method of
perpetuating his Indignation at the
outrage on his domestic comfort and
that the picture merely represents a
spring 1000 years ago.
The antiquity of the malady is thus
beyond doubt and it is equally certain
that the disease now raging among the
housewives of this and every other city
Of the Northern Hemisphere is the
same that has afflicted womankind
from the earliest ages. 1t must be
appears and runs its course epidemic
ally throughout a neighborhoOd or
city without the slightest reference to
the previous condition of the premises
The house may be swept from top to
bottom every day in the year so thor
oughly that not even one of Pasteur's
microscopes could find a speck of dirt,
but this fact cuts no figure whatever,
and the suggestion from her lord and
servant, made with Difference becOm-
ing his Subordination in the eSta blsh-
ment. that the house does not need
cleaning is secuted as coming from one
who speaks without the smallest atom
of infOrma ton on the subject "A man
never knows anything about house
anyhow Just look at that carpet.
Just see that WALL" and as he gazes.
protesting his inability to see anything
out of the usual, his wife enlarges on
the inability of a man to realize the
presence of dirt when he sees it. 'Be-
sides, Mrs. Smith, across the street., De-
gan her cleaning week ago, and Mrs.
Brown, on one side, and Mrs. Jones. on
the other, began yesterday, and it
would be simply dreadful to let things
go on as they are, for the house is
worse than a pigstye now" And so
the torrent of feminine eloquence flows
on and the wise man will not only let it
flow, but also get out of its way, for if
there is one thing that woman knows
better than anything else, it is that a
house always gets shockingly dirty dur
ing the winter and always needs to be
cleaned In the spring.
She does not clean up from choice.
Oh, dear, no. She breads it worse than
an epileptic does his daily fit. For
weeks ahead she will talk about it and
its terrors. She remembers that the
last time she cleaned house she was in
bed for week and had pain in her
back the rest of the summer But she
knows it must be done, and so she goes
ahead and makes a martyr of herself
and everybody else, in order that the
Lares and Penates may be free from
dust. But if any one supposes that
the sacrifice is cheerfully made. he is
greatly mistaken, for somehow or
other, housekeeping, like chorus sing
ing, or tableaux, or croquet, seems to
breed quarrels as it goes forward and
to make everybody concerned lima
tured, and he is wise and fortunate
husband who, when he sees the pre-
liminary signs, recoEciles his mind to
the inevitable and goes fishing until
the mania has spent it's force and things
about the house have resumed their
normal annearance and condition In