The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1896-07-03

That he had been pursuing when en-
countered it I do not know to this dav.
AT all events, the police had captured
the other monkey during the night and
had shut the two up together. There
they sat, two ugly, grinning, indistir-
gulshable creatures, both guilty, &C,
cordlng to the evidence, of aggravated
assaults on the police.
when we were released from tho
dock the magistrate asked us to re-.
move the monkeys. The italian and I
stared at each other blanl1ly. He knew
no more than which was his property.
VI course, it was useless to consult the
police about their identity. AS the mag
1strate pointed out, there is no pre-
sumption either in law or in fact as to
the ownership of two stray monkeys.
l appealed to him to decide the question
himself, and he pointed out that it was
the duty of the police to restore proper
~ to its owners. He said that he was
not Solomon, but only a police magis-
trate, and that he doubted whether even
the house of lords could throw much
light on the subject. The matter, he
thought, was eminently one to be set
tied out Of court.
"At first tried to solve the difficulty
by buying out the Italians claim to
either of the monkeys, with the idea OF
sorting them afterward. But he, also,
1t appeared, had a romantic attachment
for his carrissimo monkey, and he de-
clined my overtures with fervent ap-
peals to most of the saints on the reg
lister. The whole thing, he seemed to
think, was base attempt on the part of
foreign brutal government to trample
on the rights of an italian citizen and
to consign his monkey to the dungeons
of the Zoo. Then 1 offered him his
choice of the two, and this might have
saved all trouble if Mrs. Tremaine had
not arrived at that moment to inquire
for JACKIE and had not learned the whole
affair from communicative inspector.
Neither JACKIE nor the alleged Jacko
showed the faintest signs of recognition.
Indeed, they almost at once devoted
themselves to a sanguinary fight, in
which Mrs. Tremaine interviewed with
considerable injury to herself. Then
! she turned to me, and could see from
her manner that she considered me re-
sponsible for the whole difficulty. For
quarter of an hour I had really lively
time. Mrs. Tremaine hectored the Ital
ian, and the Italian obiurgated Mrs. Ire
maine. Neither of them understood
word that the other said, and had to
act as interpreter and buffer.
Eventually, made the best terms
that 1 could. The Italian agreed, for
consideration, to allow us to keep both
monkeys for week. during which we
might discover their identity. Mrs.
/ Tremaine quite readily agreed to the
proposal, for she was confident that no
monkey but JACKIE could possess Jacko's
virtues. ] was more doubtful, believe
ing that the virtues were few enough to
be common to many monkeys. And so
it turned out. Both monkeys made
themselves quite at home, overate them
selves equally, stole as cleverly, and,
what was most remarkable, searched
with identical persistence for the de-
ceased Capt Tremaine. Twice that
week l had to catch two monkeys, and
when they were both in the butterfly
net they nearly killed each other. Mrs.
Tremaine used to look at them by the
hour, and sob, and call JACKIE softly.
They both answered to the name, If
there was any food about, and at other
times preferred to be the other monkey.
"At the end of the week, the organ
grinder appeared punctually, and a
heartrending scene followed. No de-
cision had been come to till the morning
of his arrival and then Mrs. Tremaine
and Maud differed as to which was the
real Jaclso Then the question had to
be decided somehow, and thinking it
really mattered little which we kept, I
suggested that we should toss up. The
fippancy of the suggestion annoyed
them and led to recrimination, but at
last we agreed to decide by lot, that
being Biblical way out of the diff
Guilty, and suitable to the occasion. The
organ grinder went on his way con-
tentedly, and hoped that the affair was
at an end. But I was very much mis-
taken. No sooner had he gone than
Mrs. Tremaine and Maud became alike
convinced that they had given up the
real JACKIE. They said they were now
certain of it. Poor, dear JACKIE was sit
ting on a barrel organ in the cold
street, and engaged in the degrading oc-
cupation of collecting coppers, and
monkeys were so liable to consumption,
and what would poor papa think if he
were alive"
Il stood this for about ten days and
then l went after the italian again, hav-
ing obtained his address in case of
further complications. His affections
were apparently now extended to both
monkeys, for he consented to an ex-
change for further consideration.
Surely, thought, to myself, Maud and
her mother will be content now. But no,
the thing began all over again. The
former Jacko was their darling and
they'd given him up when they'd got
him safe, and it was by my advice and
it was all my fault. Twice more ex-
changed those monkeys, and then at last
even my patience failed. We quarreled.
and we parted, and I've never spoken to
her since. That's why say, never get
engaged to girl who keeps monkey"
-Pick-Me-Up.
--z-z4a&
The Expected Happens.
He was Claude,
She was Maude,