Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1896-11-28
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Athwart these melancholy days
1t casts a CLEAN Of cheer
To find you've half ton Of coal
Left over from last year.
Chicago Tribune.
Clara-Do you call Bertha q beauty
Maudic-ro her face. yes.-Bostos
Transcript.
"why don't you marry that girl? She
Il a real pearl "Ah, yes; but I don't
like the mother Of pearl" --Scottiah
Nights.
Stikker-l dreamed last night that
you gave me ten dollars. Stryker--
Good! that makes us square. ! owed
you a tenner. you know.--Boston
Transcript.
"Don't!" she exclaimed. fearfully;
"you need 1t far worse than l." Regi.
maid Drooley Van Lukewarm had
threatened to give her q piece Of bh
mind.-Chicngo News.
The poets lot would happier be
II he could sometimes turn Ia
Attention from the thoughts that burn
To 6rine NJ the furnace.
Washington Star.
Lord Notascnt (moodliy)-I drcamt
last night. James. that I had plenty Of
money. The Valet (eagerly)-An' 90
was tn 'appy H'american girl, me ludf
Puck.
She-I see they have now "woman's
Dictionary" DO you suppose that dif.
fers from any otherY He-Probably
has more words In it.--Yonkers States
man.
THAT hair restorer bought Of you l
found very efiicacious.' remarked Cav.
kcr to his barber. "soT replied the
knight Of the razor. II must try u
myself."-Judge.
"You look 80 pleased; where have you
beenT 'l've been visiting dentists
Offices, and had lovely time--got lot
Of new ideas for our college yell."--Chi.
cago Tribune.
II can't see why Il IT," said Bobby,
''that when little boys IRE cross, folks
shy they IRE naughty; and when papss
and mammas arc cross. folks say they
are ervous."--Harper's Bazaar.
Dah's a chance fob some hurrah,
Fob each pusson libbin';
Ef yoh can'cdnte got lef'.
Holler fob T'anksgibbin'.
-WashinIton Star.
Smith, wish l had studied boxing
when was boy. You see. need 1
10 much In my profession. Jones (sur.
priscd)-What! rs lawycr7 Smith
No. As a fathcr.-iInrpcr's Bazaar.
"why do you beE:" asked the kind.
hearted woman. Il can't help Il,
ma'am." said the beRgar. MY wifs's
Q widder. with five children. and they
looks to mo for support. "-Harpers
Bazaar.
Somebody has Invented q table to q.
cilltate writing on railroad trains.
Things are getting 10 that travelling
man won't have any excuse left for not
writing letters to his wlfc.-Chicago
Record.
The Approach ed-why don't you 60
to work. The Tramp-lm trying to
work. sir. The Approached--At whatf
The Tramp--At present. sir. I'm trying
to work you.--rhIladelphia North
American.
Things never evenly befall.
'MOngst men, though We are brothers.
Thanksgiving was designed for I'LL.
Hut some have more than others.
--Washington STAR
80 you feel III, my little lad?" asked
the kind minister. You should go ana
tell your mO.hcr. She will give you
sage advice" ".hat's Jest It," said the
hoy. "vm doggone sick o sage."-Nsw
York Press.
The Clergyman-I had no idea profau.
ity was 70 prevalent TIL began to ride
| a wheel. lis Wife-Do You hear much
Of 1t on the rOadY The Clergyman
Why. nearly everyone run into swcara
frightfully!--Pucl.
Bacon-I saw Bloomcr to-day. He
had his arm In sling. and was walking
with crutches. Egbert-RldIng a hike,
] suppose? mo; not, yet. He'd been
DOWN to buy one. though. at dry.gooda
stOre."-YOnkcrs Statesman.
"Harry, before We were married. you
begged me to 20 hand in hand with you
down life's pathway" 80 did,
and now you get mad when ask you
where you 20 without me i've nights Ia
the week."-ChicngO Record.
"Thc age of chivalry Is entirely past.
she said. II don't know about that"
the young man answered. "Men can't
engage In duels to settle affairs Of the
heart" mo. bat they can join rival
football Observation-Disclosures Star.
W1,ts-Let's walk along till cas
overtakes us. Potts-No. Let's walk
the other way until car meets us. We
will catch 1t sooner; we Will so down
town just as quick, aud we will gel
more ride for our money.-lndlanapolia
Journal.
All, radiant rose, with your grace so do
murc.
Your beauty the eye and the spirit con
tents;
But there still turks the thorn. Non,
would guess. ! nm sure,
That you cost u dollar aud twenty-five
cents.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Billus-Johnny. II you don't &c
to bed right now won't wake you W
tomorrow morning at all. Mr.. Billui
docking ut her over his glasses)--What
good do you think that'll do. Maria;
Mrs. Billus-It will bring him. He hal