The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1896-09-09
VIRGINIA, WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 8, 1896

less he would also put IN pawn MS
crown, his sceptre and his thronel
And then when the eyes and
ears of tho King we're partially
opened to his PROSTATE people cry
ing for the re-opening of the mills
to corn. .We do not care for
pound cake" shrieked the people.
"Give us corn bread lest we perish
in the midst of our abundance"
But the sleek fammon, with
his Portly Professors, his Bloated
Bankers, his Greasy Scribes and
his Lusty Lawyers, talked day and
night to the King: "These ignor-
ant and half-educated people do
not know what ails them, nor what
they need" said Mammon & Coz
Besides they are hired to starve
themselves and make all this out
cry by these fellows who will raise
such enormous crops of corn.
The corn producers alone will be
benefited by the opening of the
mills to corn. Just think what an
enormous pile of money they will
make if corn be allowed as a bread
stuff
We, on the contrary, know all
about grain and bread, and from
our very position are utterly disin-
terested. We neither grow nor
grind anythingp
Except the people and the
Kingl" interjected the Kings
fool.
Scorning the unseemly interjec-
ton, Mammon & Co., went on:
"The people foolishly say they do
not want pound cake, and clamor
for corn bread, but we who know,
oh, King, declare to you that corn
bread is injurious to the digestion,
fit only for hogs, and that pound
cake as our experience proves, is
far better for human food. 1t is
true tho people say they can get
no pound cake; that it is beyond
their means, is scarce, sc. Yet as
we can testify conclusively there is
plenty of pound cake for we have
got it, yes, we have abundance of
pound-cake and it is only popu-
lar delusion which inspires the cry
for ash-cake and corn-pone; for if
they can't buy our pound-cake how
can they buy corn bread2" \
(Quoth the Kings fool.)
"The more grist the mills grind,
The more mouths it will findp
"Besides, continued Mammon
81 Co., still scorning the fool,
GLOW can your Majesty find it in
your heart to deprive us of our.mo-
nopoly for the benefit of dirty
rabble?"
"Thnt to be sure" said the King,
"would be conclusive but for tho
consideration that if the body per-
ishes what will become of the head?
/ am the head of Felicia; the peo-
pie are the body of the State; al
ready 1 find it almost impossible
to supply myself with the neces-
sary wheat; already 1 am in bonds
to you, masters of wheat; and now
you tell me / must pawn my
sovereignty to get further sup
plies.
"Will you thus force me to feel
that 1 and my people are one; to
remember that the public mills do
not belong to me alone, nor to You,
but to the people, and L at once re-
open the mills to corn, believing
that it will be much better to live
on ash-cake than to starve myself
in an effort to make pound-cake
the sole staff of life"
Mammon & Co. retired discom-
fitted, venting dire threats of ruin
and revenge; but even they could
not reverse the laws of trade, of
supply and demand.
And soon it came to pass that
bread SO abounded that even the
poor lid not lack for wheat lit be-
ing found that the best assurance
for pound-cake is in the free and
unlimited supply of corn-meal for
ash-cake.
He that hath ears to hear let him
hear.-Norfolk Pilot.
The children of Israel once went
astray, forsook the faith of their
fathers, erected a golden calf and
bowed before it instead of worship
ping the Lord Almighty. They