Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-12-17
sul!zgg


cleveland LeadeS.
Duzbey-I understand that Mrs. Buzz
buz has begun divorce proceedings.
Doobey-On what grounds? Dudley
South Dakota Gazette.
"Open confession, they say, Is good
for the soul" Eyes. good for the soul
that makes It, but very tough on the
one that has to. listen to it."-Chicago
Record.
"Say, father, why have all the pic
lures got frames" "Why, you little
fool, so that the artist may know when
to stop painting, Of course. "-Fliegends
Blaetter.
willie, you mustn't mock people
when they speak. It's very impolite."
II didn't mean to be impolite, mamma.
was just playing I was the echo."-
Harper's Round Table.
Photographer Ito Uncle Sil-"You are
a splendid sitter, sir" Uncle 81
"Wall, so the say to home. I've been
practicin' sittin' for nigh onto twenty
years."-Harper's Bazaar.
Miss Daisy Medders (coyly)-"Do you
love me, Jason" Jason Huckleberry-
"Course love you! Do you s'pose I'd
have been actin the fool lover you all
this time If didn'tT-Truth.
"Did you divide your bonbons with
your little brother, Mollie" Eyes, ma;
ate the candy and gave him the mot
toes. You know he Is awfully fond OF
eading."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
There came burst of thunder sound
The boy! Oh, where was he?
He grabbed his water-cycle-and
Went scorching Ger the sea.
Chicago Record.
Hicks-"I hear there Is trouble be-
tween Bowser and his wife," Hicks
Eyes; he brought home tandem, and
| they have been fighting ever since
about who shall ride in front. Dos
ton Transcript.
She-"He whistled as he went, FOR
want of thought. OF course 1t was
boy. You wouldn't find girl whistlins
| for want Of thought" He-"No; she
wouldn't whistle; she'd talk."-lndian-
apolis Journal.
"You say you got even with that
stingy relative of yours by giving his
boy bicycle? How is that?" Don't
you see? It'll cost him more to buy the
extras than 1 paid for the WHEEL
New York Herald.
mo, sah," said the Colonel; Il never
go hunting, sab. 1t Is cruelty, too"
what Is a fish| asked the Colonel, In
scornful tones; "a creature that has its
existence entiahly in watah, sah.'-
Indianapolis Journal
Mudge-''If there Is one thing do
pride myself on, it is my independence
| of character" Wickwire-."Well,
man who lives in the way you do does
MT have to depend on his character
Indianapolis Journal.
Wickwire--"You seem to be pretty
well trained down since you got your
wheel, and yet never see you riding"
Mudge-"I don't have to ride. 1t keeps
me thin worrying about the payments"
indianapolis Journal.
She-"You saw the Count of Brasse,
did you? Now. tell me, don't you think
he is striking parsonage" He-"Yes,
do. had not been introduced to him
an hour when he struck me for a loan
Of $1O."-Harlem Life.
Citizen-"'There's plenty of work for
an able-bodied man to do. Why don't
you apply for position as a sandwich
man.? Tramp-"It's agin me convic-
lions. De newspaper is de on'y adver-
Using medium.
"Who generally gets the last WORD
when one Of your conventions gets In
to an argument? And the lady orator
looked pityingly at the masculine In
ouirer and answered.: 'There isn't any
last word ."-Washington Star.
Wife examining the bil)-"Do you
remember, my dear, how many trout
Won caught last Saturday, Husband
.sThere were just twelve; all beauties.
Why" Wife-"The fishmonger has
made a mistake; he only charges for
half dozen."-Tit-bits.
II thought, Alice that you were en-
gagged to Harry Smith, and now hear
you are going to marry his father"
chats right, Maude. The old gentle
man said lie could support only one Of
| us. and l decided to be that one and
took the widower. "-Detroit Free Press.
Indeed, Miss Rox. you are the only
girl ever lived" began the young man
who was trying to propose to the elder
ly heiress; II suppose you have had
that sort of thing said to you for the
past twenty years, but in this in
stance" "Sirv'-Indianapol Jour
nal. rtel
! Wilt am tired Of this life. and
am going to the other world" Marie
"What? Do you mean that you intend
to commit suicide" Will--"No, no;
mean London, Paris, and perhaps VI.
J emma" Marie-'I, too, am tired OF this
life. Take me with you, and let's have
n double funeral"-Town Topics.
"I wish you would tell me-" said the
agent who had long been Oh Mr.
: Snagg's trail, "what Is your insuperable
objection to insuring your lifeT ~
: don't mind telling you," replied Saaggs,
''the idea Of being more valuable sfiel
/ am dead than while am alive Is dis
tasteful to me."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Telegraph.
"And the name Is to be-" asked the
: suave minister, as he approached the
. font with the precious armful of fat
! and founces. Augustus Philip Fer
dinand Cordinton Chesterfield Living
. ston Shocks" Dear, dearw Turning
to the sexton.) "a little more water