The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-22
FUN WHILE WAITING.
A MYSTERIOUS FAT GERMAN IN A
NEW YORK FARMHOUSE.

No Seemed to BE Sleepy, Yet Ho Provided
Entertainment For Those Present Until
tho Boat Arrived. and Then He Went
Aboard and Disappeared.
de was fat German. He looked as
II he might be prosperous saloon keep
er. DE slgnaiized his entrance into the
Cortiandt Street ferry house by series
OF loud meows which sounded so natural
that the half hundred people who were
waiting for the boat looked around for
the cats. The fat man WAS under the
weather. He strolled over to the steam
radiator in the center of the room, and
i'll couple of minutes voices were
heard. First they were in tho northeast
corner OF the room mp near the ceiling
Some one upthefS seemed to be carrying
on an animated conversation with him
self. 1t was plain that the some one was
German.
"Chakey," said the voice, "vod your
wife will say do you alretty, ha? You
voz one tam fool k'vick yet -
The women in the ferryhouse began to
look nervous. They gazed at the ceiling
at the spot from where the voice SEEM
ed to come. The men were looking there
too. The fat German stood by the radi-
ator, his head over his breast, and SEEM
ed to be sound asleep.
''Fire Fire! Firei'' cried a voice in
the southwest corner
Everybody jumped up. The women
grabbed the arms of their escorts. The
fat German still slept, and the voice
sounded again, this time seemingly from
tho platform of an automatic weighing
machine.
Chakey, you yoS prute! Vod for
you wand der ladies do SCARE vod? L
bunch your nose alretty''
This was somewhat reassuring. Ev-
erybody seemed to realize at the same
instant that there was a ventriloquist
with big range of voice around some
where, and everybody looked at the
German. he seemed still to be asleep.
But Ill moment he moved uneasily.
Then he lifted the ragged stump of Il
cigar he had i'll his hand, opened his
eyes sleepily and put the stump into
his mouth. Some fire was left in the
cigar stump, but he didn't seem to no.
tlce it. He munched Oh the butt as if it
wero a sweet morsel Everybody was
watching him. He chewed perhaps a
minute. Then he swallowed the stump,
and the next instant pulled q new cigar
out of his ear, bit off tho end and light
ed it.
81 no puy cigars" he said Il maig
dem. "
The crowd was nightly interested
and gathered close around. He didn't
seem to like that, and he snorted:
'Nod you dink, you vools beoble?
Gauze L maig a cigar you dink l vos a
WOOL. l uEmaig id" Saying which he
put the fresh cigar, lighted as it was,
back into his ear. He seemed to shove
1T out of sight and calmly took from his
other ear tho ragged butt that he had
but moment before chowed up and
swallowed. Ho pulled on it. 1t was still
lighted. One of his eyelids began
twitching.
my lug vos gone, he said. II half
nails in my head ven vools loog ad me. {"
With the tips of his fingers he lifted
the twitching lid and pulled out five
inch iron spike, like those used to fasten
down steel rails.
/ vos durn do one BEIGE off iron al
retty if you boobies dond ka'vit," he
'HOAeNNS no PNliCt EDlhC
from the other eye. AT the same instant
the ragged butt disappeared. and in its
place was another fresh cigar. He lii
that. Next he pulled a couple of yard.
of muslin out of his mouth and wiped
his eyes, after which lie put back the
spikes. He seemed to drive them right
into the ball Of either eye. The women
were shocked and turned away. He
pulled whisky glass from his pocket,
bit pieces out of it and chewed them
V It'll relish.
"Chentlemens. he said, II voz 'un-
cry. Cand you hellub me?'
Thought it was fake like that"
said two or three of tho men in tho
crowd.
"Well, it's a cold day when he gets
any of my money" said two or three
others
Money" growled the fat German.
lyon dink am lige you WOOL boobies
vod cad mead mid. voz nod cad
baber; dod voz cheaber. Will somepoddy
helb boor man do biece off baber?
Tiff me dod," he said, snatching an
evening paper from the hands of one of
the men. He tore two pages from it, and
beginning on the corner of one he stuffed
it into his mouth and ate it. At least it
disappeared. Then he tackled the other
page, and that went
Poor man, said one sympathetic
woman, The must be hungry. But how
can he eat that stuff?''
The second page was gone, all but
little corner. The fat German s cheek
bulged. A voice over his head said:
"Chakey, YOU We god doo nncb. Won