The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1t is pity the weather department.
can't be arrested for scorching.-
Chicago Dispatch.
"That was bad runaway you had .
the other night, Mrs. Dash. "Yes, but
it was very stylish; we had four
horses. Chicago Record.
The Landlady-"I boarded car at
Fourteenth street an - Mr..
Hungerford-"And 1 suppose there
was lots of room inside. Judge.
The man who thinks that women have
No lively gift OF wit,
Has never asked girl to wed,
Aud heard her answer init"
indianapolis Journal.
Customer-I want book on Time
and Eternity" New Clerk (unac-
1uninted with titles) -"Sorry, madam,
but our terms are strictly cash. -
Judge.
Johnny-"Pa, what is the differ.
ence between tonsorial arsist and
barberP' Mr.. Wiggles-"The tonso-
rial artist uses longer words. Som
erville Journal.
Blodds-"Here's u rather clever
llbble DOOh' DOu 10 lOI Club 4hoh'
Slobbs- "It isn't the don'ts that
worry me; it's the dues. "-PhilG.
delphia Record.
She-"Yes, they are engaged. 1
know she refused him twice, but the
third time he proposed she accepted
him." Her Husband-''Serves him
right. Amusing Journal.
Laura-"Is it a fact that yoiig, en-.
gagement with Willie is broken OFF,"
Flora-"Why, no; not broken of,
exactly. 1t sort of tapered of, one
might say. ."-lndianapolis Journal.
"Why do you sign your name J.
John B. b. B. Bronson?" asked Haw-
kins. "Because it is my name," said
Bronson. 81 was christened by a
minister who suffered. The Water
bury.
Waiter lat club restaurant) )-"Ready
with your order, sah?" City Sports
man (back from a weeks fishing)-
"Give me some fish; I'm tired to
death of other things. New York
Weekly.
''But 1 am so unworthy, darling" "
he murmured as he held the dear girls
hand in his. ooh, Harry" she sighed,
"if you and papa agreed on every other
point as you do on that how happy we
could be l"-Tit-Bits.
500 you understand, asked the
Sabbath. school teacher, "what is
meant when we say that time shall be
no more?" "Yes'm," answered Tom
my. at means when the clock stops"
indianapolis Journal.
"Well," said the spheromaniac
boarder, 'I see that Watty has lately
hired a new pitcher by the name OF
Wiener" "So," said the Cheerful
Idiot. 81 suppose we may soon pre-
pare for the wurst, indianapolis
journal.
Customer-"Why do you always re-
late those horrid robber stories and
other uncanny adventures when you
are cutting ones hair2" Hairdresser
-"Because they make peoples hair
stand on end, and it is thus much
easier to cut"
First Ancient Maiden-"I have of
leu luOuHhb AuebS ouppooo NhNh
dentist gives You gas, he should kiss
you. Wouldn't il be horrible?" Sec
ond Ancient Maiden--"Horrible is no
name for it. Why you wouldn't know
anything about itl"-Puck,
"You are charged, -. said the Judge,
"with riding your bicycle through
the streets at rate exceeding ten
miles an hour" "Ten miles2" said
the man, whose new wheel had run
away with him, "ten miles? I'll bet l
was going 800. indianapolis Jour
nal.
"This X ray is doing wonders for
mankind" 'Yes," his wife replied.
'It has done lots for mankind. Maybe
it'll be developed in the. course OF
time to where it will enable woman
kind to see whether her hat is on
straight or not without looking in the