Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1896-07-24
MR.. MEEK'S DINNER.

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IT wonder, James," said Mrs. Meel
doubtfully to her husband one morning
aft you could get your own dinner to
night You see, I've had to let tn
servant 60 on her holidays for day O
two, and they want me desperately a
the Woman's Aid and Relief bazaar, t,
help them with their high tea from 4 81
to 80. If you thought you could man
age by YOURSELF
''I'll try to survive it, 4" observed Mr.
Meek good naturally. 81 don't fancy il
will prove fatal -
''I'll get roast and cook it this
morning, then,'' went on Mrs. Meek
cheerfully, "and you can have it cold
for dinner %
''Thank you,'' replied Mr.. Meek,
"you'l II do nothing of the kind. fancy
I haven't gone camping pretty much ev-
cry year of my life for nothing. sus-
pect can manage a hot dinner about as
well as most women"
NILS. N1tth us1u AGI uOuUUS, Gtuu uux1A6
most wives, expressed them.
Mr.. Meek viewed his wife's doubts
with supreme contempt, and unlike
most husbands, expressed it.
Thus it finally resulted that Mrs.
Meek abandoned all idea of preparing
Mr. Meek's dinner for him, and betook
herself to the bazaar. So it resulted,
furthermore, that Mr.. Meek left his Of
flee about O'Clock that afternoon and
proceeded to collect on his way home
the necessary supplies for dainty little
dinner.
An alluring display of chickens was
the first thing to catch his eye, and he
was just on the point of securing one of
them, when, by good luck, or more
probably through the natural sagacity
of the man, he recollected that-well,
that you don't, as rule, cook chickens
as they are. In the momentary reaction
that followed this feat of memory, he
bought a couple Of mutton chops and
three tomatoes.
= cpl have good, plain, old fashioned
English dinner, thought he, as he hur-
ried past the deceitful chickens with
something almost akin to reproach.
''None of your fnicky poultry dinners
for me!''
''By Jover' he exclaimed moment
later. ''I'll have an apple pudding and
some oyster soup to begin on"
He was SO tickled with this idea that
ne promptly rushed into grocery shop
and purchased half peck of their best
eating apples and then hurried home
without thought Of the cab he was to
order for his wife at $50 sharp.
By 5 O'Clock he had the fire going
beautifully and everything ready for a
start.
Z By 6 O'Clock he was just beginning to
enjoy the thing; the tomatoes were
stewing divinely; the potatoes were
boiling to their hearts content and the
milk for the oyster soup was simmering
contentedly on the back of the stove.
The oysters. by the bye, had not yet ar
rived. ~--..s
''Dear me-" thought the ambitious
gentleman, 81 wish had thought of it
in time, and I'd have had some oyster
patties for sort Of final dessert. Hello,
what's this? By thunder, if that ever
lasting pig headed woman hasn't left
me some cold ham and custard pie!
By the Lord Harry, for 2 cents I'd throw
the whole thing out into the back yardl"
The natural docility of his nature,
however, prevailed, and he left the OBJ
noxious viands unmolested and proceed
ed with his dinner At $50 he put the
chops on to broil, ''as in the good old
days of yore''- poetic allusion to
the style of cooking being occasioned by
one of them accidentally drongniiIa.g int into
the fire E!aga5acey he rescued it with great
presence of mind by the joint assistance
Of the stove litter and one of the best
table napkins By the time the chop
was thus rescued both it and the table
napkin were fairly we'll done-to say
nothing stronger. This trif1ing difficulty
he got over by putting the erring chop
on the window sill to cool and the nap
kin into the fire-to do the other thing
This accomplished, and with one chop
gently cooking on the gridiron and the
other one cooling on the window sill,
he started to construct the paste for his
apple pudding. This proved most fas-
cinating. He placed a large quantity Of
flour in a small bowl, emptied jug Of
water on top of it, added butter to
taste, and proceeded to mold it deity
into shape, as he had often seen his
wife do. The -four and water promptly
forsook the bowl and betook themselves
to his hands. Then the milk for the
soup began to burn, just as the potatoes
boiled dry. He rushed to the rescue and
left the major portion of the paste fair
~ evenly divided between the handles
of the two saucepans and the stove lift
er. At this juncture the tomatoes started
in to see if they couldn't surpass the
milk in burning. They succeeded. The
cat, which was accustomed to 6 80
dinner, walked off with the chop on the
window sill, while the chop ON the fire
grew beautifully black on the ''down
side" So many things were now burn
ing all at the same time that Mr.. Meek
gave up all hope of trying to discover
just which one was burning most s'Let
the dashed things burn till they're sick
of it!'' was the extremely broad minded
sgay in which he summed up the situa-
ton. With the astuteness that charac-
terizsd him as distinguished from his
Fellow men, he at once gave up all eff
forts to track the truant paste, and SIM
ply popped his apples into the oven to
bake.
1t was now about Z 80, and the fire
was getting hotter than pretty much
anything on earth, unless perhaps it
was Mr.. Meek. He turned all the damp
ers, opened all the doors, and took of
all the lids. This resulted most salts
factorily; the fire began to cool. i
didn't stop.
It got, If anything, little low. Aft:
er that it got very low. Then it went
out. He rushed for a kindling, and
nearly took his head off on a clothes.