The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-10-04
DEBATE ON LOVE-MHKING
LONDON OCCUPIED nv A PHASE OF
THE ETERNAL SEX QUESTION.
Delightful Bits of Human Experience
in WOOfng Observation-Disclosures
Customs of Courtship.


question has been engaging the attention
of a multitude of correspondents of two or
three leading London journals for several
weeks / do not refer to the somewhat
rancorous discussion, Now happily aban-
doned, of the relative attractions and vir-
tues of the two sexes in England and the
United States. The debate began with Il
solemn, academic argument of the ques-
ton whether a young woman should enjoy
the privilege of canceling her promise to
marry for no other reason than a perhaps
causeless change in her feelings toward her
fance. From that point the discussion has
broadened into a consideration of the mod
ern customs or rules of courtship in vari-
Gus countries. Mines. Adam, Florence Mar
ryat, Mrs. Oscar Beringer and others of
prominence, English, French. German and
American have Joined in the debate. There
is some amusement, if not much profit, to
be obtained from the mass of correspond
ence on the subject, although nobody has,
for an instant. departed from the most SOL
emn tone of argument.
But it is the frequent disclosure of de-
lightful bits of human experience that
makes the correspondence interesting,
more than the philosophy and special
pleading of the writers, who, for instance,
will withhold sympathy from the young
WOllldA "AO nus tcllS lAc SUI "a hCA
three engagements:
1t was a moonlight night in August. just
eight years ago last Saturday. A boy and
a girl are padding a canoe down stream.
He has honest blue eyes, a tanned COM
plexion, a mastery bearing: in a soft barry
tone he is singing the Venetian Boat
Song" She is in her teens, fresh from the
school room, and dangerously sentimental.
They have known each other a whole week.
Perhaps it is the simmering light of the
moon across the water, perhaps the silent
arknesS of the Cleveland woods, perhaps
the disturbing note of a nig~htingale's love
song-who can tell? Maybe it is only the
boys bright eyes and the startling words
he is whispering. She feels he is a god, a
superior being to be worshiped, and when
she is alone that night, she feels the whole
world is altered, that some great miracle
has taken place. Before he goes back to
Sandhurst for his last term they become
secretly engaged. exchange rings, break a
siXpenny bit in two, and plight their troth
in all the extravaganza of youth. A year
later they meet again. He has been ga
zetted, has served with his regiment. and
has come over on long leave from the
Curragh. In those twelve months she has
thought and learned much, and in her
heart of hearts has suffered not a little at
the changing tone of his letters. When she
sees him a sense of disappointment takes
possession of her. They are shy, one to the
other; he prefers the billiard room to the
canoe, the sporting papers to the volume
of Tennyson he had given her. Her wom-
ans instinct quickly tells her the truth,
and, woman-like, she is not ashamed to act.
Jack, dear, suppose / were to tell you
that ! didn't love you quite SO much as 1
once did" she says one evening, and quick
ly stops his answer: Now, don't be a dear
old hypocrfte; just tell me everything"
That interview ended with a full confess
sion of debts already contracted, of a small
capital already sunk on race courses, of
the displeasure of a commanding officer,
and the frankly blurted out explanation:
Il say, Daisy, / couldn't write or I
couldn't tell you that / nm not the sort of
a chap who wants to marry
Then We'll be chums and forget the
rest" says the girl. And so the idyll ends.
Three, years have gone. by and have en-
tirely changed the aspect of the girls life.
In a dingy lodging house in Bloomsbury
she is listening to a tall, gaunt man of any
age between thirty and fifty. He does not
sing of might winds signing" but of bank
notes rustling and of a desira BILE residence
in Norwood. She thinks of her widowed
mother, hardly able to make things meet.
for in those three years her father had
died soon after his once big business had
been declared bankrupt. If her sutton is
not her ideal, at least he is a good, honest
man, and she likes him. Ought she, who is
quite fancy an ybj Tree m sr,c to thinks thinK Of f. IDENTITY friy Of
Her marriage will make all things happy
again and she will be able to do so much
for her mother.
Again she says yes.
A SECOND MISTAKE.
In less than a month she realized the ter
rible mistake she had made. On every sub
ject their ideas were at variance. Her love
of art, her attempts at literature. the
friends she was most fond of-all were dis
tasteful to him. His way of thinking
taught him that a woman should be able
to cook a dinner, and he preferred that she
should not talk too much at her own table.
Their feelings were foreign. Had she full
filed her first engagement it would have
been foolish, a solemn compact entered
into lightly and ignorantly; had she made
absolute her second would she not have
been wicked, an arch-traitor to the man
and to herself, and possibly to other future
souls? So it came to pass that she told him
everything she felt. He released her of her
promise and married another within six
months.
/ nave told you my story, Mr.. Editor. be-
cause it seemed to me TO bear upon some
of the points raised. The sequel is too
sacred to be recorded here in black and
white. So let me whisper a word in your
ear: We are on our honeymoon, Tom and
l. and while l am writing this he is wait
ing down IN the garden, with two bicy-
Giles and our golf clubs.
But just before / stop want to ask Tom
a question: His answer is. What rot!'
point. My question was. Have my previ-
Gus engagements inevitably brushed the
bloom off the delicate possibilities of love %
The warmest branch of the discussion
has been that which contrasts the prevail
ing rules of courtShip in the four coun-
tries-England, France, Germany and the
United States. In this department America
has been well represented. The most tell
ing letter is again one describing a per-
| sonal experience-no less than an American
girls successful experiment in treating
Englishmen as she would her own coun-
trymen. She and others of her nationality
advanced the theory, which is rather start
ling in the ears of English girls, that lit
is friends we want, not lovers" She talked
the matter over with her English chap
eron soon after her arrival in this coun-
try, and this is what happened:
/ made my aunt promise to let me alone,
to let me choose my own friends and to
do with them what I chose, so far as she
had to do with them. She gave her con-
sent, amid calculations of What will peo-
pie say?" etc. l was to have six months
trial, and if my plans failed 1 was to be
packed off home.
Well, / joined a tennis club, and my first
endeavor was to make friends with all
the young men worth knowing. l left the
girls alone for the time being; in fact,
was awfully scared at first by English
girls: they are so fearfully artificial. i
like Scotch girls much better: they are not
SO affected. As time went on became