, 1896-03-05
THE ~RUMORISTS.

THE HUMORlSTS.
Jess-"neorge asked me last night if
the roses on your cheeks were gent
inc" Bess-"And you said?' Jess
"Nothing-simply winked Puck.
viii you be my wife. Fraulein
Paula, and make me happy" 81 am
sorry, doctor. but | should like to be
happy myself."-Humorlstische Blat-
ter.
Sunday school tcachcr-"'And the
prophet cent his clothes Johnny.
what does that mean JOHNNY
s'pose he didn't have the price to buy
'em."-Ex.
Mrs. Won Blumer-'You seem TO be
confident that your husband will come
home from his club all right" Mrs.
DimpletOn-"l am. tie went there on
his wheel."-Nogue.
ANY amusement in this town to-
night asked the stranger. Il reckon
there's goin' to be a lecture" replied
the grocery man; i've been scIlin'
eggs all day."-Atlanta Constitution.
You ought to take pattern by your
friend. Augusta. She is so cleanIy in
her habits that she washes herself
three times a day" And no wonder
her sweetheart is n chjmncy-swccp."
-Dagcns Nyheter.
She-"Whaf do you a.ern sir. by
kissing me? What do YOU mean?"
He-'Er-nothing.' She-'Then don't
YOU do it again. / don't want any man
kissing me unless he means business"
Indianapolis Journal.
First detcctire-"Ah-ha, Now I uu-
derstand why the safe was not blown
open. This burglary was committed
by a woman Second detective-"Uow
do you know" First detective
Here's the hair-pin. Puck.
His great mistake: The wife
When You proposed 10 me, John, did
you think | would accept You" The
husband-"Not the first time" Tho
wife-"The second" The husband
Il wasn't going 10 J. oppose Int once
Puck.
DIR. farley is simply wrapped up in
his profession Il should say he was.
Why. they do say that when he pro
posed to Madge W~ilioughby he never
squeezed her hand once. but kept his
thumb on her pulse all the time. -
Bazaar.
Why does the ~baggageman handle
those new trunks SO carefulIy?' He
doesn't want them to have an old,
Travelled look, because the people who
WI them are just married, and new
trunks are a dead give-away Detroit
Free Press.
Il hardly know how to begin, sir"
said the would-be son-in-law, as a
starter. Permit me to help you out"
said the old man. The words were po-
lite enough, but the young man
thought he saw a glare and got u I'M
| acSictoj India nprnl;, Jn,
The serpent smiled affably. Have
an apple?" he insinuated. The mother
of the race shrugged her shoulders.
Not this Eve" she rejoined; ''s'm'oth-
err Eve" This" unused the tempter.
with "a daZed look and a slight SILVER.
must be the woman's version. All,
yes."-Detroit Tribune.
Wanderer-"Yes, lady; a few years
ago was just rollin' in wealth" Kind
hearted housekeeper-"Poor man! here
is a quarter. Rum did it, I SUPPOSE
Wanderer Nom. Religion" Kind
hearted housekeeper Religion %
Wanderer-"Yes'm; L was one of the
most successful burglars in the coun-
try; but I got religion and couldn't
work at me trade no more. Thanks
Puck.
Neutrality-suspicious., old boy
How are the wife and baby getting
along?' Struggles-"Finely. thanks
Ruggles-"I tell you, babies are bless
ings! Struggles-"You bet! If this
one hadn't come right now, I don't
know what we'd have done for oar
winters COAL" Ruggles-"What's the
birth of a baby got to do with coal?'
Struggles-"You see, my wife's rich
brother always sends a check for $50