The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1896-02-07

words, redeem in ice and fans. |
My goodness. but it's hot here!
I'm sitting in one of Jay Gould's
special cars that he brough
down here with him (poor fellow,
thought he could use it.) with
my tail hanging ir a barrel Of
ice water and forty little devils
tanning me with all their might,
yet it makes me sweat every
time I think of the strenuous
fight being made by Congress-
man Towne, of the Sixth Mime
sofa. and his colleagues. in favor
of free silver. However, if the
Populists will only keep their
shirt on and continue following
their wonted decisions. instead
OF joining the free silver party,
I think you have the best end of
the scrap.
But do not forget that gold is
tie only money we have in hell.
If you can fool the people by
talking about an international
agreement it would be a good
plan. If you get up the confer
ence, I and the Rothschilds will
be there to defeat it, as we did
before. Beware of bimetallism;
the people don't understand the
meaning Of the word or it would
receive greater support. You
make a decided hit, however, by
calling it the sound currency"
movement, Every little devil
down here laughed when he
heard that. This will make the
people think that every other
kind of currency is unsound.
You are managing things up
there as we'll as I could do 1t N.Y.
self. If you win this battle for
gold I'll give you a lease of
twenty-five years on earth. All
I'll ask is two million souls a
year and a bond that you won't
let Grover Cleveland set up an
opposition he'll on earth after he
is ousted from the presidential
chair in March, 1897. With the
help you are getting from the
preachers, whose souls are
bought with three hundred dol
lar donati ons and other etcetras.
you ought to be able to do that
and have a jolly time in the bar
gain. The Jewish rabbi who
prayed for gold at the Kentucky
state convention last June has a
credit mark given him, and he
shall be given q rattle box to
scare away the snakes and fur
nished with cup of ice water at
each meal after his arrival.
Say, you fellows remember
Benedict Arnold, don't you?
Well, he was in my office the
other day and insisted that it
be right for me to grant him a
pardon. He said that Carlisle
and G. Cleveland were so much
greater traitors than he ever
was that it did rot reflect any
credit on hell for him to stay
here any longer. I think I'll
let him go. After Carlisle and
Grover get through with the
last issue of national bonds, I'll
draw cuts to see which is which.
Hope it will be John G., as
think Grover is deserving of a
little the best of it and think he
would enjoy himself better at
Buzzard's Bay Poor Arnold is
a pitiful looking sight. The lit
tie imps keep throwing chunks
of burning birthstone at him all
the time, and teasing him until
his spirit is broken. Nearly all
the hair is scorched off his tail
and one of his horns is knocked
off. Besides, Carlisle and Gro.
yer have a greater reputation as
traitors and one of them ought
to be made chief here. But I
can't we'll spare them up there
until we get the gold standard
firmly fastened upon that count.
ry. Now; you know I have more
invested in that country than
anyone else and I insist that you
fellows do everything you can
to win this fight. We don't want
any so cent silver dollars in hell
1t would take two horse load
to buy a glass of water. And
the greenback-why, it would
scorch them to cinders before
you could get out of your pocket
book. The policy that will help
me most is scarce money and
dear money This causes hung.