The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-12-03
HOW OLSON SQUARED 1T.
By DAN QUIN.

By DAN 0UIN.
Now l thoroughly saveys," re-
\ marked the old cattleman, refectively,
at q crisis in our last conversation when
the talk turned on men of small and
cowardly measure, II thoroughly
saveys that taste for battle that turks
in the defiles of folks nature like
wolf IN the hills. Which l reckons
now that l, myself, is one of the peace
fullest people who ever belted on gun;
but in my insincts-while never jcsti-
hes or follows his example, cl'arly
apprehends the emotions of gent who
convenes with another gent all similar,
an expresses his views of him with
his gun, an Immediately precedes ad-
3ournment sine die BY skelpin' the op-
position. Sech is human nature onre-
strained, an the same, while deplor-
able, is not surprisin'.
"But this yere Olson has in my
mem'ry don't have no sech manly emo
tions as goes with a gun play. Which
Olson, takes pleasure in sayin', Is
q alien an rank outsider, an no
more born in this home Of freedom
than Mexican. Olson is SO cowardly
he's even furtive; an for low-fung
measly play let me tell you what Olson
does. It's shorely onery.
"It all arises years ago, back in Ten
nessee, an gets it's first start out OF
hawg which is owned by Olson an
is downed by gent named Hoskins-
Bill Hoskins. It's this way:
Dz g.. H., l,>oo
wreathed yooth, when anamiles goes
projectin' about permiscus, party has
to build his fences bull strong, hawg
tight, an hoss high or he takes re-
suits. Which Hoskins don't make his
fences to conform to this yere roole
none; leastwise they amt hawg tight
rs is shown by one of Olson's hawgs.
"The hawg comes pirootin' about
1Ioskins' fence, an he goes through
easy; an the way that invadin' anamile
turns Bills potatoes bottom up don't
bother him bit. He shorely loots
Bills Lot; that's whatever.
layin' waste his crop, reaches down
Hawkins rife, 80 to the pound, an
stretches the hawg. Which this is
where Bill falls into error. Layin'
aside them deficiencies in Bills fence,
it's cl'ar at a glance hawg can't be
held responsible. Hawgs is ignorant
and tharfore innocent; an while hawgs
can be what Doc Peets calls a casus
belli, they can't be regarded as foe
legitimate.
Snow what Bill oughter done, If he
feels like this yere hawg's done put 1t
all over him, is to go an lay for Olson.
6ech action by Bill would have been
come excessive, some high, so to speak,
but 1t would have been line shot
Whereas KILN the hawgs is way to
one side of the mark an under.
"However, as I states, Bill bein' hasty
that away. and oncapable Of perhaps re-
Aned reasonin'. downs the pig, an
stands pat on it, waitin' for Olson to fill
his hand. II he feels so moved.
snow, that's where the cowardly
nature of this yere Olson begins to
shine. He's ugly es a wolf about Bill
copperin' his hawg that away, but he
don't pack the nerve to 60 after Bill an
make roundup Of them grievances
An he amt allowin' to pass it up none
onrevenged neither. Now, here's what
Dixon does; he 'sassinates Bills pet rae.
coon.
"That's right, pard; jest massacre q
pore, confdin' raccoon, who don't nc
more stand in on that hawg killin' OF
Bills than me an you-don't even ad
rise It.
snow. allow you saveys all thar is
70 know about q raccoon. No? Well
! raccoon's like this: In the first place
he's plump ingenious, an amt lookin
for no gent to hold out kyards or ring {
cold deck on him. That's straight; q
racccon is simple-minded that way; an
bis impressive trait is, he's meditative
Besides bein' nacherally thoughtful al
10 his own affairs. might say raccoor
y . heap melancholy-he jest sets thai
m absorbs melancholy from merel,
bein' alive.
"But If a raccoon is melancholy o.
yets wrapped in thought that away. IT.
after all his own play It's to his credi
hat once when he's tanned he's got
nountainous confidence in men. an
vill curl up an 60 to sleep where you b.
M shet both eyes. He's plumb trust
Pul: an moreover, no matter hov
nournful raccoon feels, or how plumb
Melancholy he gets. be don't poster yo'
tith no yarns.
~ reckon ! converses with this yer
dentical raccoon of Bills plenty frc
0uent when he feels blue an aga;l
rhan he's at his gailiest. an he ncvc
Prsnavks nothin' TO me except p'lite gen
opo3'ties.
~If thia Olson bad been desd gam