The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-07-14
Fun ON 4 FARM.
A Chicago Mans Experience
With His Country
Cousins.

N-AS - WtAkS& Wir gone
Miller and Artie had removed their
coats and unbuttoned their vests They
worked iistlesziy. and occasionally one of
them would lean back and gaze sleeplEy
cut at the walls and roofs and the ais
tart ribbon OF lake. now dotted here and
there with moving speeks
"A man ought to De pinched for worksn'
a day Ike this" Artie finally observed
"Isn'tst delightfuI7" SAID miller. This
is the time u year when a man feels
Ike getting out into the eountry."
That Amt no lie. either. You don't see
very many Johnny-jump-ups CROWN
along Dearborn street. do your
Do you expect TO get away from town
often this summer"
Gee. I ean't go very far. Since I'VE
started plantin' my stun in the bank and
plunkir in a few cases every month on
the buildin' and loan game I've got to
play purity close to my bosom, III tell you
those. Night before last, though, l was
nxin' II Up with Mamie to take a little
run over to St. Joe or up TO Milwaukee,
on the boat When they let you ride ali
DAY on the boat for q dollar a throw.
Why, that's where I cut in freely. But
they don't get my game at any o. them
summer resorts where thew set you back
i've big elephant bucks a day for a room
about as big as that telephone box oyer
there Fhen II you anything TO chew
you've got tc square the waiter every
time You go in the dining room. I went
up against one o. them places last sum
ner- / commenced OWN money to that
motel before I got off the train. They
cleaned me In two days, but then, as they
say down on state street, wasn't very
GlfIV Wh41 - ~ 4 nGc4 ~
II I'm going to take a vacation said
Miller. I'd rather get right out into the
country. Don't you like the country"
Well, I Amt dead sure about that. I
fspose the countrv's all right to a man
that's lived there, but you take some wise
boy that was brought up in town and
worst ever. YSu've seen them boys
around the union station comm in with
their red topped boots and high hats and
fafin, into coal holes and bein' snaked
out BY fake hotel runners, you think
fney.re p9rty new dent you? Well say
horrible mark that some Chicago dub is
when ne goes up against that farm game.
Iwenty-fcur hours you can mark me down
q that ppy-childhood-days-d5wn-on-fh
tell you
Il didn't know that you were ever on A
farm" said Miller. laughing.
throw wds at I'M ne s . aa 81 / f's a &C good "a and d
sore, too. -Four years ago this summer
that was before my father disd-my uncle
GalesbuTg. wrote for me to cone down and
visit EN-: The old gentleman asked me If
I wanted to gof and I said, Sure thing.
goin hshin and dub6in' around the
weeds pssss G9t mi 4 the e country aaIdg a 81. ! 8 thinks anas5
there and dazzle them jays 50 I went
down there, and a cousin O mine, Spsn-
ger blanchard, met me at the train with a
il time for supper, and they all gave me
the glad hand ana joilied me I'D, and /
beas 4 warn rnsg Exposition sdas nr cut a ts5rs. 'aa Wei IL
holy smoke. about the time they got the
dishes washed up, the uncle says 10 me:
you sa meang I says avs. s 20 10 "a beas as Sure re
thing. says he, VS. &c. to get all kinds
OF an early start n the morning
Ter ISsi right s 1t tie 81 jaHs spa' I tola2 az EN- n0 I / Was Vas
just usually bsginnin 70 enioy myself
about nine o'clock n the evening. Thev
then they ducked and turned in. Well.
sufferin' Cornelius, there was ncthfn' 10
keep me Up. I set out by, the pump for
went in the house ana went to bed. but
f e seemsd E EssO f = "a dlss Gen bsf pagnd mianig nv
ear about ten minutes, when somebody
swalloped ne ip the back ana holleredr
eafsia 1l'sF :w5ag slh he e h Kai L W9 | s aaTs
Is the house on hre?. II was ny cousin
back. It's time to get up re SAYS. I
asked him what time it was. and what do
You think he SAD? This Is On the Level;
that I Didn't know what kind Of a COM
bination I'd struck"
7 guess people out in the country often
oaf ny thai erir ", raa -f,x,o ~ n - 4s-,1 -
pecially in the busy season" SAID Miller.
They'd never got me Up. III tell you
those, only that fresh cousin Of mine
grabbed me by the leg and pulled me out.
Oh. he's a playful guy, all right. Wen,
I put on my clothes and went down
stairs, dead on ny feet. You see I was
saw me they all give me the aorse laugh,
even the hired girl. Ny aunt asked me
what time l got up When I was in town..
and I said never before Z O'Clock. and
to think I was wrong in my u ont
there. Everything / done or said they
give me the ha-ha.,
Q course life in this city IS much diff
~ferent., said Miller.
Well, ! guess yes. know this town
card and &C. thraasa T the dee5, hut on
in like a Renb all the time. The worst
one was the hired hand. His narne was
Elias, saw him up mere the time Of
IAA[F = L LIZ , ~ 1aiAC O. XIX
lookin' up at the skyeserapers. He was
dead lucky to get out O. town without
hayin' his clothes lifted. and, at that. I
amt sure he did. But down at the farm
he was the wise guy and I was the soft
mark. What do you think? The second
day l was there I goes out in the field
where they wa cuttin' down the oats
with one o them bindiu' machines. and
'Lias asked me to so back to the barn
and ask Uncle Matt IL he had a left
handed monkey wrench. How was to
know7 ] ain't up In monkey wrenches.
Gee. I wen drilf;n' raj back to the barn
through the hot sun, an when I sprung
the iedt7handed monkey wrench on the
uncle 1t made q horrible hit with him.
He holiered around till / got kind o.
sore. Then he went in the house and
told them. and they all had a fit about IT.
Bat YOU eight o. seen Las when he
came IN ct night. He was all svEeiled
He thought he was a better comedian
than Nat Goodwin. He must a. gone for
two miles al around tellir' that monkey |
wrench story. n a lot o. the hands
used TO come over and kid me. THEY'D
laugh an. slap their legs and say: BY
Jingl' They had me crazy. l used to
think 1t wasn't on the square to Josh a
man because he was from the country.
but don't you fool yourseif; them coun-
try people won't do a thing to a city gHy
il they ever get him out where they can
take a good. fair crack at him.
st was all In fun, though. wasn't it,"
~soh, sure; they thought they was
fgiyin' me a good time. There was a kid
cousin o. mine, Rutherford Hayes Blanch-
--4 4fr fasne4 r-a,- W