The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1896-03-26
GIMME FADDEN's ARMY VISIT
A Visit to a Stun Lassie's Meeting Which
Resu ted In "a Conversion.
Edward w. Townsend in the New York

my Ivy - 6iNdN DtODlts SURF
and taut dey was all settled as much
as de Washin'ton Arch, and wasn't do
in ting but doin' good like I've seen
EN- do on de Bow'ry ever since / was
kid; but, pchee, dey is all in a scrap
what's worse dan that Dunraven film
fam.
Oats right. Let me tell you. Mr..
Paul and Mr.. Burton is members of
/ dat yacht club what give de grand trun
down t de lord chap, Dunraven, and
dey scrapped and dey scrapped and dey
strapped over dat game till Miss Fan
ME tole EN- dat if dey opened dere
mouts any more about de dinky yacht
race, she'd break dere faces. Dat
wasn't just what Miss Fannie said,
cause she talks only heightened lang
wudge, but OATS what she meaned all
right enough.
Mr.. Burton, he's kinder stuck on de
English lord chap. see? But Mr.. Paul,
he's straight American, dead straight
American. like me, and he says, What
tell he says 'dere can't be but one
mug can win fight or a race, and IL
de mug what loses don't stand up to de
dough dish without hollerin' murder,
den he amt no good, and oughter get
de dinky-dink.'
Well, OATS de way dey jawed tiff
Miss Fannie put de kibosh on dere
chinnin' and de house was as peaceful
as willy-boy wild a cigarette, till dis
salvation army now came along. and
den dere was more trouble in de fam
lily.
/ His whiskers says dat de English
mug what come over from form parts
{ put a cash register on de word of
de Gospel was a person non CRATER,
what means dat he was a person not
in it.
Dat started de game; Mr.. Burton
says dat de boss mug what lives in
n a sfarI IL. II
accordin' { de rules. and if de rules
was broke den he had de right to ask
what tell?
! Den Mr. Paul he gets hot in de col
lar, and he says dat If Mr.. Burton was
right den George Washin'ton was
cred de city of Washin'ton. where dey
makes laws for de lawyers and sasses
+ form queens and kings.
Say, l nearly unscrews me arm
/ openin small bottles for EN-, havin' Z
( do something { keep meself in de room,
so as not L miss any of de rounds.
/ Dey was all talykin' to onct and put
/ tin up terrible fronts of KNOWN all
about de game, when Miss Fannie
/ killed dem all dead wild askin in dat
smood voice of hers: Has any of you
gents ever been to a Salvation army
meetin'?'
Say, honest, dey all looks as silly
/ just t'rows der wine in dere faces
and coughs. and don't say nothin' fer
a while.
We'll his Whiskers says, after he
taut a while, No, my dear. he says, L
4 don't tink we has ever went
Den Miss Fannie she says, Before
4 yuse all settle de affairs of de Salvation
army spose you chase yourself to one
/ of der meetins and take a tumble to
yourselves'-only not dose langwudge-
till you knows de game
] Mr.. Paul. he held out his glass for
me t FILL and den he says, solemn like,
/ desc was his very words, 1T strikes me
dat our spiritual welfare would be i'm
proved, as well as our understandings,
/ If we adopts de resolution magnani-
mously.'
80 de next evenin' his whiskers
/ says L me could 1 take 'em down L
where dere was a Salvation army meet
in, and l says, In a minute for 1
knowd where some loidies dey call
/ Slum Lassies were preachin'.
Say, il was down near Chatham
square, and when we got off de car his
/ Whis1ers give one look and tried Z
( make a sneak, but Mr.. Paul he held
him up L de dough dish and makes
him stay. For while de crowd was
more curiouser about our gang dan
about de Salvationers, and dey gives us
a great jolly. Dere was one old woman
/ 1 ulster know down dere. a Mrs. Muir
ply, what was rushin a growler; but
when she sees me she stops and says,
. Shure it's Chimmie Fadden and his
foine friends Introduce me t his Whis-
kers. Chimmie, dear, she says. wild a
smile you couldn't spoil wild a club.
Say, I taut, his Whiskers would
| trow fit right dere. but Mr.. Paul says,
( Certainly. Chames.' he says. present
your lady friend; l am sure Mr. Van
=
! her. he says, givin' me de wink.
well, say, l had L do it, If l got
slugged for II. and 1 give Mrs. Murphy
a knock down in polite style to all de
/ gents; and Mr.. Paul he says L her sol
emn as a judge, says he, Mrs. Murphy,
we would be pleased L get your views
. on de American split from de English
/ Salvationers, he says.
His Whiskers tells Mr.. Paul not Z
I be a ass, but Mr.. Paul made a bluff at
I not hearin' him and was as polite as a
actor L de old woman.
| well. you oughter seen her. She
kinder hunched herself inside her close
like a bull pup what's glad L see you,
and she says: Tell wild de English,
savin your presence. sir she says 4
Mr.. Burton. who she taut was a En-
I glishman: Tell wild de English!'
Can you answer that logic?' says
! Mr.. Paul to Mr.. Burton. 'Shure he
+ can I. says Mrs. Murphy q not nav"
me sowl saved If ut was depindin' on
de English for de savin'.' she says. and
I Mr.. Paul says. We Americans stand
togedder, Mrs. Murphy.
Il was gettin leary of de game. and
I wonGerin' how could I chase off de old
( woman. when Mr.. Paul sees de lay and
. tips her a quarter. askin' could she use
. il for her healt.
'Oi ken. says she. but Oi'll not go
/ TO Kelly's for de beer. for / owe him de
| price and de tief would take IL out Of
| dis. once he seen IL. May the Lord love
you. and not call for you too SOON she
| says. and makes a hurry sneak with
her growler.
say. his Whiskcrs was dead sore on
I Mr Paul for jollyin' Mrs. Murphy. and
1 tells him L pay 'tention 4 de army las