Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1896-05-30

has his has and coat hung up aud is at
his post waiting for duty. The one is
over and anon i'll the afternoon looking
at his watch to see if it is rot most time
to'shut up. The oll:cr stays half ali
hour after hemight go, and when asked
why, says he wanted to look over some
entries no had made to be sure he was
right, or to put up some goods that had
been left ont of place The one is very
touchy about doing work not exactly
belonging to him. The other is glad to
help the other clerks in their work. The
first will be IL prolonged nothing, and
hewill be poorer at 90 years Of age than
at 80. The other will be merchant
prince. Incidence is the cause Of more
failures in all occupations than you
have ever suspected. People are too lazy
to do what they can do, and want to
undertake that which they cannot do
In the drama Of life they don't want to
be common soldier, carrying halberd
across the stage, or u falconer, Ora mere
attendant. and SO they lounge about the
scenes till they shall be called to be
something great. After awhile, by some
accident of prosperity or circumstances,
they get into the place for which they
have no qualification. And very soon,
if tho man be merchant, he is going
around asking his creditors to com
promise for 10 cents OH the dollar. Or,
if clergyman, he is making TRADES
against the ingratitude Of churches Or.
if an attorney, by unskillful manage
ment he loses case by which widows
and orphans are robbed of their portion.
Or, if a physician, he by malpractice
gives his patient rapid transit from this
world to the next. Our incompetent
friend would have made passable
horse doctor, but he wanted TO be pro-
fessor of anatomy i'll university. He
could have sold enough confectionery to
have supported his family, but he want
ed to have sugar refinery like the
Havemeyers. He could have mended
shoes, hut he wanted to amend the coll
stitution of the United States. Toward
the end OF life these people are out Of
patience, out Of money, cut of friends,
out Of everything. They go to the poor
house, or keep out of it by running in
debt to all the grocery and dry goods
stores that will trust them. People be-
gin to wonder when the curtain will
drop OH the scene. After awhile, lcay-
ing nothing but their compliments to
pay doctor, undertaken, and Gabriel
Grub, the gravedigger, they disap-
pear. Excunt Kissed off tho stage.
A Moral Nuisance.
Others fail in the drama Of life
through demonstrated seltshncss. They
make all the rivers empty into their
sea, all the roads of emolument end at
their door, and they gather all the
plumes of honor for their brow. They
help no one, encourage on one, rescue
no one. Glow big pile of money can
1 get?" and How much Of the world
can l absorb" are the chief questions.
They feel about the common people as
the Turks felt toward the Asapi, or
common soldiers considering them Of
no use except to fill up the bitches with
theil. dead bodies while tho other troops
walked over them to take the fort. Aft
or awhile this prince Of worldly success
is sick. The only interest society has in
his illness is the effect that his possible
decease may have OH the money mar
kets. After awhile he dies. Great news
paper capitals announce how he started
with nothing and ended with every
thing. Although for sake of appearance
some people put handkerchiefs to the
eye, there is not one genuine tear shed.
The heirs sit up all night when he lies
in state, discussing what the old fellow
has probably done with his money. 1t
takes all the livery stables within two
miles to furnish funeral equipages, and
all the mourning stores are kept busy III
selling weeds of grief. The stone cutters
send in proposals for Il monument The
minister at the obsequies reads OF the
resurrection, which makes the hearers
fear that if the INSCRIPTIONS financler
does como up III the general rising, he
will try to get a Corner OH tombstones
and graveyard fences. All good men are
glad that the moral nuisance has been
removed. The Wall street spectators
are glad because there is more room for
themselves. The heirs are glad because
they get possession of the long delayed
inheritance. Dropping every feather Of
all his plpmes, every certificate of all
his stock, every bond Of all his invest
ments every dollar of all his fortune,
he departs, and all the rolling of Dead
March" in saul, and all the pageantry
of his interment, and all the exquisite
ness of sarcophagus, and all the extrav-
agance CT epitaphology, cannot hide the
fact that my text has come again to ire
mendous fulfllment, "Men shall clap
their hands ut him and shall hiss him
out of his pluce. -
You sec the clapping comes before
The hiss. The world cheers before it
damns. So it is said the deadly asp
tickles before itstings. Going up, is he!
Hurrah! Stand back and let his gallop-
ing horses dash by, a whirlwind OF
plated harness and tinkling headgear
and arched neck. Drink deep of his
madeira and cognac. Boast Of how well
you know him. All hats off as he passes.
Bask for days and years in the sunlight
Of his prosperity. Going down, is he?
Pretend to be nearsighted so that you
cannot see him as he walks past. When
men ask you if you know him, halt and
hesitate as though you were trying to
call up dim memory and say, well.
yes, yes, 1 believe 1 once did know
him, but have not secii him for long
vhile" Cross different ferry from the
one where you used to meet him lest he
ask for financial help. When you started
life, he spoke good word for you at the
bank. Talk down his credit DOW that
his fortunes are collapsing Ee pnt his
name on two of your notes. Tell him
that you have changed your mind about
such things, and that you never lndorse.
After awhile his matters come to dead
halt, and an assignment or suspension
or sheriff's sale takes place. You say: