Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-03-25
THE TIGER IND THE LADY.

There may come a time in this world
when people are civilized. and when Gus
tom houses will be swept from the face
of the earth; but that time, alas, is not
yet. We are compelled to open our
Salises and allow a customs official to
rummage among our underwear, search
ing for tobacco and such things which he
might know, if he were a travelling man,
were deftly concealed elsewhere. Each
country has its own little playful ways
pertaining to the collection of duty.
But this story is not intended to hinge
on the custom of our country, and the
foregoing are merely moral reflections
on the manners and customs Of nations
which suppose themselves to be civilized.
Manners none; customs beastly," was
the terse report of the man VINO was
asked to write an account of the man.
ners and customs of the Polynesian isl
ands, and | think the remark might per-
haps be applied to the revenue depart
mentS of some governments which 1t
may be as we'll not to name. Customs
are beastly, no matter where one hap
pens to meet them, and l think manners
of some continental countries who order
a traveller out of a train IN the middle
of the night in order to have his baggage
examiner are the least 10 DE cOmuenueu.
OF course q train III Europe is not 4 very
comfortable method of travelling at the
best; nevertheless, sometimes one does
get q chance to go to sleep on the night
journey, and the brutality of being rout-
ed up to take part III ceremony which
10 intellectual man can possibly be inter-
eSted IN makes sometimes even the mild
est-mannered person indulge in language
that he deeply regrets afterward.
No, this story is not about customs,
except in SO far AS the custom house &C
cidentally intrudes itself. The object of
to the notable remark made by the late
Sam Patch, when he jumped over Nj
agara falls, namely, that Some things
can be done as we'll as some others,
and the phrase may be varied by saying
that some things can be accomplished
one way when failure attends all efforts
in another direction.
1t was just 1913 o'clock at night when
the fast train going to Paris drew up
at the frontier. The carriages were of
the corridor pattern, which Europeans
vainly imagine is the American plan.
A narrow passage ran along one side
of the carriage, and opening out from
this were q number of compartments,
each seating eight persons. The Lady
and the Tiger had been on the train
since it started III the afternoon at )
O'Clock on the previous day, and so had
a choice of places. | sat in one corner
by the window. and the Lady sat in a
corner opposite. AS the train went Oh
toward France the empty places gradual
~ filled up and now the carriage was
so full that one or two Wretched per-
sons were pacing up and down the cor
rldor or trying to get places on little,
uncomfortable hinged seats attached to
the side of the passage, with Il patent
spring somewhere which made the lid
flip up against the wall when the sitter
rose to his feet. | remember this habit
of the little hinge shelf because on one
occasion when | rose to stretch myself |
sat down expecting the seat to be still
there, which it wasn't. | woke up sud-
denly on reaching the floor, and exam
ined the mechanism of the continuance
with interest, and perhaps just a shade
of annoyance.
The French are reputed to be a polite
nation, and, although | know we would
cross the border some time after mid
night, and that we would meet the
inevitable custom house, l thought the
examination of baggage would be some
what superficial, and that maybe a Gus
toms officer would come through the
train and look at the smaller pieces
of luggage without disturbing us to any
great extent. Such, however, was far
from being the case. We were told
rather grutfiy that we must leave the
train, and that everyone must take
with him his hand baggage | staggered
out sOmnolently under the load, and the
Lady was compelled to come also with a
couple OF shawl straps, because there
was more of her luggage than [ could
carry at one time. We were kept on
the platform Shivering with cold for
awhile, then two big doors were opened
and we trooped in, placing our impedi-
ments on low bench, behind which
stood the uniformed French customs Off
a. ha
and the baggage chalked we had to wait
at the other end of the cold room until
other doors were opened, and then were
allowed to get out once more to the plat
form and into the train. When [ stag
gered on board and passed along the mar
row corridor TO our compartment
thought at first that | had made a mis-
take, because an oldish man sat in
the corner IN which the Lady had in
tended to journey to Paris. y second
look, however, had satisfied me that
this was the compartment we had occu-
pied, and l said to the man, quite DO
Htely, for | thought the taking of an
others seat had been accidental:
L beg your pardon, but this place be-
longs to the Lady"
The man shrugged his shoulders and
said that he deeply regretted the cir
cumstance, but the place belonged to
him until we reached Paris in the morn
ing.
90" | cried, hotly, ''this won't do.
you know. The place is taken. and has
been taken since the train started. You
will have to get place somewhere
else"
IF you wished to retain this seat"
said the man, calmly. you should have
put, some baggage on it. There was
nothing here when / entered [ have
the place and ] intend to keep it,
But, | insisted, I'VE couldn't leave
any baggage upon it because we were
compelled to take it to the custom
house"
Again the man shrugged his shoulders
That has nothing to do with me-" he
said. The place was empty when l took
it. and | intend to keep it,
Then the Tiger came uppermost
The devil you do" | cried The Lady
behind me touched me on the shoulder
and begged that | wouldn't use violent
language.
L shall not use language at ALL" said
the Tiger. but this man has to get out
or III throw him OUT
"Oh, you will, said the Frenchman.
You bet your boots | WILL" | said
throwing down my luggage. will you