Kansas City daily journal., 1896-10-19
Pine Bluff, Ark. Oct. 5.
what philosopher Dooley Says.

"hat fnhOSOpher DOOAcy SuSss
From the Chicago Post.
you ma-ark my wurrud," said Mr. Hen
messy: ''whin Bryan comes to Chicago it'll
BIZ diff rent"
II suppose so I suppose so." replied
Mr.. Dooley. What is tn young ma-an
goin' to do?''
He's goin' to set fire to tn town." Mr..
HcnEessy said Hes goin' to bur-rn II
up. He'll make thrail iv iloquince fr m
Mud lake to Calvary symmetry, an whin
he laves Off Mckinley won't have votes
enough to stirring round his neck"
We'll, maybe So" said Mr.. Dooley; IAN
maybe not. Ye see. Hinnissy, there's two
ways iv lookin' at 1t. mind whin Nalland-
ingham, him that was copperhead durn
tn war, come to Chicago. AS long as ne
was in Ohio he was n gr-reat man, an us
la-ads that looked FIR to see tn South
whale tn divil out iv tn North an was Nv
a contrary sthreak annyhow we Tread
his speeches an looked up to him as tn
savior of his country, an tn only thrue
frind iv tn constitution. Well, he come up
to Chicago an they held a meetin' FIR him
ir fr-ront iv TIL courthouse. an he got up
on a bar'l an wint on to tell US what was
r-rlght an what was wrong. He'd no more
thin got WARMED up to his wurruk tnin
a big man standin' near tn bari knockeu
rh' top iv it in an tn orator an statesman
/ was an admirer iv Vallandingham. but
FIR tn life iv me niver aftherward cud
&C me to regard him with riv'rince. NO wan
can be tn savior iv his counthry afther ne
has been rowled in a barl. If he'd been
tn pope iv Rome in tn same position
'twud have made Jew man iv me an
I'd be votin' fr Pammer an Buckner this
very minyit.
Bryan was a big man hollerin' at tn
| crowd a block away on tn Coliseem stage,
! an he's a big man still in Chicago whln
| he's in Grand Rapids. but how big'll he be
whin he climbs up in tn loft over Billy
OToole's saloon and talks cheek be 1owl
with tn gang? I've seen nanny great
| statesman in me lifetime but 1 niver see
! wan that cud walk through tn yards firm
TIL exchange to Carey's saloon without
| smellin' like Canalpoort avenue ca-ar on
! a wet day. Be hivens, George Washington
| cudden't do it, an bechune you and me,
| H!nnissy, I'd hate vote fr man that
| carrrd around with his tn bill iv fare
| that We find in tn atomosphere iv me frind
| Jawn Brinnock's rindrin' house.
Shakespeare says in wan Of his plays
| that no man is a hero to his bootblack.
| Nine-tenths iv tn American people don't
have an idee that tn president Is rale
| flesh an blood. They vote for statue.
Jawnny Mack here is goin' to vote fr a
| lithograph iv Mckinley that he has hang
| in in his front window. Now, suppose he
| was to dhrop in to Cudneys saloon fr
! dhrink an he was to see man atm cold
slaw with pair iv tongs. an Cudney was
| to say: Here, Jawn, 1 want We to shake
| hands with me frnd Mckinley. He's wan
| iy tn right sort an he's a candidate fr
president Take wan Of his ca-ards an be
| good to him among ye'er people Would
Jawnny vote FIR him? Not in wan thou
| sand years. Tn on'y raison he's with Nc
| Kinley is he don't know him. Th' more
4 af1 1ayNt 4 h
| less votes he gets. If l was Bryan's man
ager I'd keep him in a chilled-steel safe an
| have him talk in a phonograph. Tn lad
| Hanna has tn right idee. He makes his
| inthry stay at home, an ony those that
| have carfare or passes can get squint at
| him. TIL rest iv tn country can't tell
whin he's dhropped part iv his breakfast
| on his coat front of whether he's gettin'
| bald on tn back iv his head.
81 bet ye Tom Gahan got up tn program
fr Bryan in Chicago. Gahan is a friend iv
| mine. l knowed him whin he was polls
| man at tn ya-arrds. II he was managin'
| tn campaign iv George Washington 'twud
be all tn same with him. He believes in
| mixin'. Wan night he'd have George play
| in sivin up fr tn drinks at Mike Dryers,
| the mex he'd have him dancin' in tn prize
| waltz at FInucane's hall. I'd give tn sight
iv wan eye to see tn father iv his country
| ,rmpirin' pie-eatin' match under tn sup
ervision " Tom Gahan. or ladin' tn gran
| ma-arch at tn county Dimocracy hall or
| handin' round his cards at wake: Vote
| f'r George Washington f'r Prisidint an
| Pete McGinnis f'r representative in tn leg
| islachu-e.'
9TH experimint IL be worth watchin',
| Hinnissy 1 suppose Bryan IL go to all TIL
| christenins an church fairs befure Tom
gets through with him. Wen see him
| rollIn' tinpins down at Turner hall an
| tFhroppin' in FIR game iv pool at Aldher-
1 tvs oyyto nj i'm n
| r-rnn in here, Hinnissy. I've always been
a Dimmycrat an III threat him kindly an
hang his lithograph in tn front window
an push him away firm his change. I
haven't seen candidate since Tim Ryan
| r-run FIR congress an he passed a lead
| dollar on me that was six months gettin'
| Off"
"Niver mind" said Mr.. Hennessy. "he'll
| burn uo tn town.
II hope so," said Mr. Dooley. I'D like
to see it burned up wanst 80 we cnd all
| begin fresh, like tn Stock exchange, with
| out payin' what we owe an without gettin'
| into tn constable's hands FIR th' same.
I've heerd that tn on'y thing amy MINI
Der " TIL Stock exchange has put up is an
American flag fr sound money an pros
| perity" ="
Wages in silver Countries.
From the New York World.
| China. Japan, India, Mexico and some
| South American countries use the silver
| standard.
Argentina (south America) tried "cheap
4 money few years ago. Dollars from
| other South American countries were in
circulation. They had only y cents worth
| Of metal. so they passed for only q cents.
| the bullion value.
Then Argentina made its own money sys-
| tenn. At first all went well. But the gold
reserve was tampered with and a silver
standard established. The paper currency
soon became irredeemable. A panic fol-
lowed. Prices went UP from 100 to 800 per
| ah,,na Gil h,,<