New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-02-24
TIE TALK OF TIE DAY.

4 man living in an Illinois town in which ague Is
prevalent has turned the affection 70 good account
He has gone into tho dairy business, and mas ouit
n large churn. operated by a spring board Every
day butter IS made, and the way It Is churned Is
UNIQUE The proprietor of this little dairy ex-
plainei IT'S operation to his neighbor. you see,
re said none Of us do any extra work so call
Il clear profit. Monday. ! always shake IN the
morning. and my wife in the afternoon Tuesday
I'm and sallie shake; Wednesday, Bob and George;
Thursday Ella and Minnie; Friday. Tom and Bil.
and Saturday Charlie and Eliza. When the shakes
come on We all just go and stand on the spring
board and they always last long erough 10 prinS
butter In the churn SO it Amt any extra trouble"
His First View of It-stranser Crom Nebraska)-
What? That the Chicago River?
Stranser"Great snakes. Why don't you plough Il
up?-(Chicago Tribune
The Ladies' Aid Society Of the Presbyteraa
Church OF Mount Vernon. y. Y. frequently gives
a,i 70 struggling ministers by sending boxes OF
clothing etc. to them. Recently box containing
4 large amour, o, rev clothing for n family OF four
persons TO- ether with literature, etc. was sent ID
a Presbyterian minister who Is doing mission work
a considerable distance from Now-York and whose
income IS rather small. In the box was letter Of
ferng 10 send him a copy OF The Tribune for one
year. to which he replied Il am grateful TO you
FOR IS willingness to send me The tribune,
bu, that need is My old tutor. Nathan Up
ham, told re that the best grammar for me to
study was The Tribune. and have been constant
reader of It FOR twenty years. always feel have
lost something II an issue Is missed. have
IL regularly"
A Slight Mis,ake.--"I didn't know you we're 70 &C;
complisheI a lngust." he remarked as he glanced
ii don't make any pretensions in that direction"
Put that Is Russian newspaper you have
why so it is" she answered, in suryriss II
thought it dialect story."-(Washinston Star.
I'm our five months trip through Europe" says
an American IN a letter to THE Springfield Re-
publican" I'VE have paid hotel bills In kroners.
rubles. marks. forms. lras. francs pesetas. with
perfect equanimty but when our hGcAman charged
US 1909 refs TO take from station to hotel we
turned pale and rushed for help TO an American
minister and were about to cable for money and
escape from Portugal. What IS a rel worth. any
how% we excitedly asked. We'll. I can't tell
Portuga. Is bankrupt. out they issue coupons and
you may call 1000 refs American dollar We
Gained down. tarried few days in that foreign
city. paid hotel bill running up into the tens
OF thousands and departed. did Mark Twain.
glad that IL was no worse
What is that dreadful grooming in the museum"
THE sword-swallower got toothbrush Dr!st4e
down his throat."-(Chicago Record.
An example OF the freedom allowed TO counsel IN
criminal cases was given the other day In the trial
OF Jesse NJ Gregory for the murder OF his WIFE
Their little daughter had been subjected TO long
examination by the prosecuting attorney. Counsel
for the defence then put this question: would you
like to see your father go TO the electric chair?
Naturally the poor child could only sob. She sad
she didn't want to her fathers face. EtNs
later tho lawyer repeated the question thus: "Then
you would like 10 papa so 10 the electro
chair?" The next day he further showed that 10
had a proper appreciation Of delicacy by ohjectins
to the Assistant Dstrct-Attorneys cross-eXamina-
ton Of another daughter OF the prisoner. II the
South raises men like you" he shouted, 'then am
sorry for the chivary Of the South
Montagu Williams and Sir Douglas were known rs
THE Twins" ON one occasion they had been hsht-
ing before Alderman at the ouildhaII, ana on
leaving the building they linked their arms ana
went off together in the direction or the ui'IlVA
Club "I.or. BILL cried out one OF me ioaiets ou.-
side the court amt We bin sold? Why, We thoHsns
they was quarrein' together inside IKE cat ana
dog It's ali put up job Bill. Jest look al EN- now
arm in arm and roarin with laughter. IKE TWO oii
pals" Who does remember M. flcA"lchS
horror when Mr. Serjeant Snubbin said good morn
Ing 10 Mr.. SERGEANT Buzfuz? And what can their
respective followers think OF II when they near OK
Arthur Baltour and John Morley linking thelf arms
and going together to Saturday Pops!-tLohdSS
Daily News