Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1896-09-23
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When the mercury's a spriuter
Twill cool you if you try
To remember how last winter

Twill cool you If you try
To remember how last winter
Made the coal-pile fly.
Chicago Record.
"Who was best man at the wedding"
'"The brides father, if cheerfulness
counts for anything. Puck.
Jaglets-Who invented work, Bill?
Raglets-I don't know, but he ought to
have stayed and finished it.-Truth.
Doctor, my wife has insomnia-lies
awake NEST of the night. What shall |
do for her" Get home arlier."-Life.
docs your husband spend much
Mt the races?' mo. George doesn't
draw n very large salary. Town Top
les.
He-Let's kiss and make up. She
If you kissed me, I'd have to make up
all over again, sure enough.-New York
Press.
Mrs. Sequel understand your hus
band can't meet his creditors. Mrs.
Equal don't believe he wants to, es-
pecially.-Truth
Npultl ilAt W ialN y Il hlNt
gown to wear around the house. Sales.
man-Slze of the house, please Phil
adelphia Record.
Dyer-Colonel Kantucll hasn't laugh
ed in years. Ducr-Why2 Dyer-Some
one told him his laugh sounded like
rlppling water-Town Topics.
"Gainsby Is n fellow who under
stands economy" "That's what!-hc
has just had a composite portrait made
Of his three other wiyes."-Puck.
Block-Riches do not bring happi-
ness, my son. Chlpp-Neither does
poverty. And riches do not prevent
happiness, and poverty does.-Truth.
She-The Billingtons have an eight
pound boy, and | suppose we ought to
send gift of some sort. He-Why not
send Ellington pedometer?1Puck.
Nodd-Pve got to raise one hundred
dollars this week. Todd-Is it case
of necessity? Nodd-I should say so.
My wife will come back if l DON'T
Truth.
Miss Gotham-It must be awful to be
buried alive! Miss Penn (thoughtfully)
Well, don't know. l have spent all
my life in Philadelphia.-Som
Journal.
"Claribel' is respectfully informed
that milk does not come from milk
weed, and that pies are not plucked
ready grown from the pie plant.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Gertie-Where do you ge shaved,
Freddie? Freddie-On the face-ha! ha!
Gertie-Pardon me, Freddie; l mean
where do you get shaved on the face?-
Roxbury Gazette.
Richard-What makes you so sure
that she will marry you? Harry-Well,
you see, her mother and | have engen-
dered mortal hatred of each other
Boston Transcript.
"Well, old man, I've spent every cent
of money | have in the world on my
doctor" docs he know it?' Il guess
he does. He has pronounced me well
man."-Buffalo Courier.
Mrs. Kidd-There, now, thank good
ness! Eve sung the baby to sleep. Mr.
Kidd-Poor little chap! When he Is %
he won't dare to go to sleep over a
woman's singing.-Truth.
She-For my part l would never for
give a young man who would kiss
girl against her will. He-Nor l; but
do you suppose young man really ever
dido Somervi1lp JOurnal
Pip-A lawyers highest aim should
be to keep his clients out of law. Flip
True: but the trouble is 50 many of
them are content to take humber
view of the matter.-Truth.
"The butcher offered me his hand this
morning." said the hired girl. I'm
deedY "Yes'm. He tried to sell it TO
me with the steak, but l made him
take it off the scales. s."-Cinclnnat En-
quirer.
"What made you return from Eng
land so soon?" "The Prince of Wales
manifested disposition to become
chummy with me" replied the wealthy
but eminently sensible American.-
Puck.
"What are your politics, my man"
asked the portly visitor Of the prisoner
behind the bars at the penitentiary,
"Well," replied the latter, hesitatingly,
"I haven't come out for anybody yet"
Buffalo Times.
Mrs. Hendricks (proudly walking out
of the sewing room)-Well, Perry, how
do you like my boomers? Mr.. Hen.
drcks-Oh, they do very well; but, dear
me, how much older than usual they
make you look" On the following day
neat package, intended for the far.
away heather, was forwarded from tho