The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-11-15

want is thoughts and you can let your
mouth make just the language 1t likes u
| III tie thoughts. It's Out VI slsnt Mutt
4 you get onto II. But. talking about Amer
! lea. n YOU 30 there II u XIII you ucad TO-
{ There Was a shrek from the Do~asei
B. Empress. Guards Guards. she cried
/ on what WHIP What WIZ
What II whst2' asked Ii petuiantiy
"Whatil Kill me dead And the DOWa.
g ger Empress ShUddereN.
Ii uttered Olood-curdllng American
oatn unoer his breath. Then aloud hi
said: Nothing would, guess. / simply
meant that you would be amazed 20 see
the tall buildings IN Amerca-twenty stO
ries high. ten times as nigh as your Ma
1csty imperial palace. There not
pasoda In all China half as high as the
highest Of these"
The Dowager narrowed her eyelids and
smiled superoilliOUsly We always held
you In high esteem AS a liar. HI. saic
she. but you seem 10 have added 20 youi
accomplishments during your solOurn b.
foreign parts. WhatI you take?"
"Oh. any old thing
What's that?
pardon again. O laughter OF heaven
! meant that left the matter TO your UNI
ll d. . ur commanded
20 choose. let il be a gin rickey."
w nat in the name OF all that's celestial
is that"
ITS hot stuff. Empress: a new drink
lately Invented by an American states
man. 10 Feng Luh can mix II 10 your
sacred MA Jestys exquisite taste. 10 say
nothing OF ny humble and wretcned one
To Feng Huh retreated backward out
o. the presence 70 mix the gin rickey. and
ii continued. Your OmnivOrOus-l mean
onniscient Ma Jesty may doubt me when
| speak Of the tall buildings OF Ameri-
ca, but even they are not so amazing az
the elevators ir them. I had heard tell
OF these machines. but experience OF
them sUrpasses the widest preconception.
They are cut OF sight"
There you 80 dropping into America
again Let 8 see how Is II you say ~
on. yes; ltll Kill you dead II you don
cure yourself OF that habit"
That isn't just the way they use n In
America said L. You ought TO make
il more hgurative, so 20 speak.
We'll. | didn't mean II IN a hgurative
sense AT all. Ii. | meant 1t literally.
Please 10 bear that IN mind. An. there's
II WITH he drinks. What do you call m?
ricketts?"
"Rickeys gin rickeys. Here's 70 you. o
light Of Asia. flower Of the sun daughter
Of the gods. and 80 forth. and % America,
and 10 Mr.. Hickey Down you go May
you live long and pro-wugh -br-r-r-"
The heads OF the Dowagcr Empress and
Ii were tipped back. and were only TIMED
forward arain when the glasses were
drained. The Dowager Empress thought
ally into the glass.
well" said H. ITS great isn't 10"
~ don't think--" said fnc D0wa ger En-
press wild burst Of laughter broke
from the lips ~ III Hung Chang lie d0u-
blcd up on the floor and rolled mirthfully
al the feet OF the D0wager Empress. She
with wrathful eyes bent upon him. COM
handed him TO speak Are you mad
she cried.
" 7 don't think shriekec II. and rolled
again In convulslve merrnent 4 don
think That's too good. Why. that's an
awful Americansm,"
81 was about to say when you inter
runtcd me-" snapped the Dowager En-
nrcss. that ! don't think | Ike your
friend Mr. Rick,y's drink"
oh said H.
YES on. you've rot into TOO free "a
way OF intcrrurtiug and doing the talking
yourself VI. You are hanlslcd from our
presence for thirty days"
And that Is why and how Ii Hung
Chsnc Is IN DISGRACE for dierecarding the
formalties in the Dowagor Empress nai-
sce.-Buffalo Courier.