The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1896-03-27
UNDER FIRE.

afternoon in holiday time, can make
plenty more Of them.
From Charing Cross to Cannon street
had my compartment TO myself. Hav-
ing reached that point, it was invaded
by a horde of the type generally referred
TO as ones "fellow creatures. The
aristocrat Of the party was q clerk on
his way to Ramsgate for a week. lie
proceeded to fill and light brier wood
pipe. As he was sitting at the other end
of the carriage and was smoking a fra
grant tobacco from far Virginia, Ineither
felt nor made any objection to his dong
go. 1t was different matter when
gentleman Of an obliging familiarity of
manner Joined us at London bridge, car
rying clay pipe charged with the
blacklist and most pungent OF shay.
Now the close proximity OF a smoker
Of shay is a very abominable thing, and
It was for the sake Of avoiding 1t on
Journey Of some three hours duration
that | had resolved 10 forego the COM
panionship Of my own pipe for that
length Of time and had sought the So
clusion Of nonsn;oking carriage, where
a possible baby would be my sole an
noyance Consequently, when my
neighbor, after q decent interval, ram
med horny forefnger into the bowl OF
his pipe, aud, producing a dirty wax
match from his waistcoat pocket, pro-
ceeded to light up, addressed polite
and carefully worded remonstrance to
him.
I'm afraid this isn't q smoking car
| rage" said. He looked at me.
"Oh, isn't itT" he said.
| "No."
"Do yer object then?"
| 81 don't object to it On the other side
of the carriage" I said, "but l do OBJ
ject as you are sitting next to me. "
"And who wants to sit next to yer,
ugly?" he inquired, with rising asper-
ity. eyer amt a female, are yer, &c
object to q little bit O. baccyi It's a
pity yer didn't get into fust class car
riage."
| "It's a pity you didn't get into
smoking carriage il You wanted Il
smoke, " retorted. cat any rate you n
not going to smoke here. " -.
"Hi assure yer, my lord, he said
with iaborious suavity, "hi dom wan
ter sit next t'yer. Hi shed be sorry &
contaminate my morals by such con
ventuality," and he moved over to tn
opposite seat in the middle of the car
riage.
"I'u tell yer wot III do, he pur
sued. "I'll put out my pipe, so Their
now" He did so and restored 1t TO b.
pocket with the air of a man who ha
scored heavily. Then he leaned towar
: me with his elbows on his knees an
3 took me in with a whitening glanc
from head to foot.
Hand may harsk wot yore persl
. ton in life may be?" be inquired
5 "Hare yer socialist or numbug, c
t wot are yer? Do yer teach i'll the SUI
q, day school? P'r'aps yer'd like glars
I o. milk" Note the decreasing respects
/, bility of the employments suggested
4 his scorn ripened. "Wot dyer want
o prevent a respectable man enjoying
lis pipe for? l tell yer wot yer ought'
done. Yer oughter taken special trail
yer ought. That's ter say" he adde'
with great deliberation and intense di
o dain, "if yer could afford it, yer know
Q / don't serpoose they pays very ign
: the establishment wot commands 20
: services. " He was quite right. They
not.
IS At this point, perceiving that W
u in for protracted harangue, / took
J, nv Pail Mall Gazette and feigned
!, absorbing interest in its contents. q
II it rather well. ran my ego along t
= lines, turned over a page, and even
70 lowed smile to curl my lips at an e
"a tirely imaginary joke.
J. "rhat's right" commented my
n sailapt. IL am glad they taught yer
it read ut the board school. Yer go On a
70 yer'll be able to read The ST. Jan
&C Gazette SOON" The point Of this lat
20 sarcasm is not yet plain TO me, but
% fact of my go ostentatiously ignoring
j, conversation proved quito as iuita,i
l.! as | had hoped. Hc gathered himself
'i gether for fresh attack, and address
III me for about the space OF quarter
v an hour in manner not ut all abusi'
ei but quite unfettered by any reticence
s. criticism. He took in all my We
points aud animadverted on them ca
fully bat freely.
~ He began with my personal appo
70 ance. My best friends have never cal
70 me good looking, although they III
q, never told nc that was positively
~ pulsive. lie did. lie went further.
!, said it made him sick TO look at me,
:. lustrating his point with an embarr'
VI ing realism. Ho said that they had Il
~ ly missed chimpanzee from the
~ logical gardens and expressed his III
y, ton of giving information at tho n
,raiion that he had found it and ella
the reward. Ny ears are rather proI
pent. He called them andes to
or cad. My nose is not quite Grecian
Is, outline. lie thought it must have b
70, out on hot and run over my face.
mouth is rather large. lie asked II
buttoned behind.
nj Having disposed Of my face and
nd IRE, he passed on TO my clothes Of
ise serge suit he had not much to say.
20 deed il appeared 10 satisfy him m
than il did me. for l bad addressed
few deprecatory remarks TO my tai
~ ON the subject few days before.
'n' gloves he suggested l should wear
NV feet aud hoped they would fit