Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1896-11-28
NOTES AND COMMENTS.

When newspaper correspondents get
scarce Of items now, they just get off
battle or two in Cuba.
Mr.. Bryan was on a hunting expe-
dition recently in Missouri and sue
ceeded in bringing down one rabbit
after sixteen shots at it. Well this
is in accordance with the ratio Of 10
to /. He does not appear to be sue
cessful as politician or a marksman;
try fishing at Buzzards on the Bay.
1t is said there is man up in Maine
who does not want office. If be was
in West Virginia five minutes, he
would be so badly inoculated with
Office fever that double distilled and
treble rectifed spirits. burned. would
not save him.
There are some sidewalks in this
city that would make the orthodox
Christian use language that savors OF
sulphur. especially when he finds a
place where many bricks have absented
themselves and mud and water have
silently stopped there to the great an
noyance of the pedestrian, who speaks
not in glowing terms of our city dads
when he goes down several inches in
mire. There are places where bricks
are absent nearly the entire width
of sidewalks and the Councils atten-
ton has been called to it, but 1t APP
pears that they really forget what they
remember in this matter. Do not de-
vote too much time, gentlemen, in
having the poor old ''Darkey" snatch
ed up for picking up the waste coal
and other fuel he finds along the rail-
road. Perhaps it is the only way he
can get fuel to warm his weary and
frosted limbs. but give plenty of at
tention to the cleanliness of your
Queen City of the Shenandoah. 1t is
next to Goodness, neither of which
we have an overabundance. Yes; love
your State and city the best.
We love you, West Virginia,
Because you did molly stand,
For Protection and Sound Money, too;
And dear old Martinsburg,
On Tuscarora's fertile shores,
just showed the silverites what she could
do.
Thanks, Lot for your kindly ex-
pressions of our feeble efforts. We
regret often that we are not possessed
of the ability and intelligence that
some others are in possession of, to
apply the brain power more intellec-
tually and use the pen with better
force and more interest to the Herald S
numerous readers, for we are we'll
aware that the eyes of the critics are
gazing upon US.
In addition to Republicanism start
ing up the foundries, mills, ETC., il
appears to have tendency toincrease
natrimony. also. which puts a smile
on the counteuance of the County
Clerk, and certainly pleases all of the
reverend gentlemen, while it is a
great source of comfort and happiness
to those more directly interested.
Marriage should never be a failure
and will not be, if both parties do
their duty toward each other, but I'M
fortunately this is not always the case,
as, for example, there was Ahab,
King of Israel, who married the beau
tiful but wicked Jezebel the illustrious
Solomon, whose wicked wives turned
his heart away from the worship OF
the true God; John Milton, the great
poet; John Wesley, the profound
theologian, whose wife use to make
mouths at him while he was preach
ing in City Road Chapel, London /;
the philosopher Ferguson, whose wife
upset his lamp while he was lecturiug
his class; John N. Moffit, whose wife
set dozen lighted lamps on the table
and nothing else, ia answer to a re-
quest for light supper for himself
aud some esteemed friends, who had
called to see him; but worst of all is
the wife of an Englishman, who in
great passion, declaredin his presence.
her intention of dancing on his grave
when he was dead, aud when his dying
hour arrived he informed his friends
of his wife's intention and requested
to be buried in the sea, and then if
she wants to dance on my grave, let
her dance. But this is only one side
of some of the incidents of married
life. Take the reverse, for instance,
it is affirmed Cicero married wealthy
lady so that he might be enabled to