The evening times., 1896-03-13


u
There are many queer inscriptions To be
found on sign-boards in this city. 1t Is
not surprising, therefore,, that several young
ladies III the iashiOna bleQnarter OF the West
End have inauguratcl the new fad of col
lccting odd ana amusing copies of sign and
plac;,rd nomenclature. These signs are
mostly found in those SECTIONS of the city
which are populated by the more ignorant
blacks and whites.
An up-to1late ''ad.'i writer remarked the
other evening that an attractive and novel
sign was like unto a magnet, and served
to attract trade, while an ugly and lily
worded one was rcpellant, and served to
repulse customers.
South Washington furnishes two signs
which should he awarded the prize for
oddity and originality. The first can be
found in front OF a small twOstory structure
on Third street, between G and ID streets.
1t is u swinging sign board. crea Ks in The
wind like the wall of q disturbed spirit.
and bears u.is striking and suggestive IN
scriptiOn:
Questionable Shroud Maker"
The manufacturer of up-to-date gar
mcnts for the dead who makes the above
announcement in bright, canary-yellow let
tcrs is Il pcrtly colored woman. il is SAID
she keeps a stock oi ready made, fashionable
shrouds always on hand. Just where she
gets her latest graveyard fashions from Is
mystery.
FOR PET ANIMALS.
There is pet-aninial physician al the cor
ncr Of Maryland avenue aud Four-and-a-halr
street southwest. In front of his place
appears this announcement:
go, ,t,,lt ,fp p.af nj IS nd
Birds
In connection with hhisbiped andquadruped
practice thisd octorliisa a drug store, III which
his prescriptions for the pets are carefully
compounded.
An aged coIored cobbler in Pork Steak
alley certainly struck a vein OF originality
when he hung upon the outer rwallsofhfsshop
a worn and torn old boot. Attached to the
sole is a p!acard which informs the public
that
Il doctor them inside
A white shoemaker OIL Fifth street was
none the less original when lie hung upon
the wailinside his shopa showcardins cribed:
when you call to see me on business
bring your feet with you
The Italian quarter in Purdy's Court,
near the Capitol. furnishes this one:
Harp for dance and Fiddle by NJ. Clio
vanni.''
This badly y-warped announcement prof.
ably means that NJ. Giovanni is prepared
to furnish harp and fiddle MUSE for
dances.
on the time stained walls OF an ancient
dwelling on THIRTY sixth street appears
the Legend
Rats and Reaches Done Away with
A HERMIT DOCTOR.
John Riley. the hermit, lives In the base
mcnt of large structure on the south side
OF Maryland avenue. near Fourteenth street
southwest. Riley is nearly ninety years
old, and rassers- by are attracted by queer
little tin sign Ia ckcd to the front of the aged
mans hermitage. II reads:
John Riley, Congressional corn aud wart
DOCTOR
When questioned about the term Con
grcssional'' on his sign. Riley said he was
entitled to that honorable distinction. as
he had removed number of stubborn corns
from Tire toes OF Senators and Representa-
tives and had flattering testimonials from
them as result.
On one of the busiest thOroughfares in
central Washington appears an artistic
swinging sign with letters or FURNISHED
gold II reads
"Mantles and Tiles.
This would indicate a cloak and hat es-
tn adjustment, but an inspection or the dls-
play in the large SLOW window revealed
the fact that ''manieis,; not ''manties.
were sold inside. The painter evidently
Thought that if the final ''le'' was right in
one case it must be in. another.
A dyer and scourer in East Washington
announces Il Dye To Live" and Chinese
laundry has on it's 'front.' a badly leitered
placard noting the owners cut rates thus:
"Cholars l Sent CUFFS too"
There is an original groceryman in West
Washington who Informs the public through
the agency of rive-foot sign that
Other stores Keep Butter. l Sell It.
-. WHAT HE HAS TO SELL.
A colored man, whose place of business
is In one of the Northwest alleys, is evil
IDENTIFY making a hearty hustle for exist
ence His variegoted pursuits are enunler-
ated on the front of his shanty thus:
.'Clambs, oysters and crabbs in seeson-
White washing. Carpets heat. Whelc barrow
work. Sodng. Rooms cleened. Moving.
Odd jobs, etc, Sc, &c.
Another colored man has inscribed on his
dilapidated furniture wagon with chalk
this legend:
Who moved you-y, William Green"
saloon keeper in the south west section
has hanging over his bar delicate glass
sign inscribed "B--'s Thirst ParlOr.'
A colored shoemaker is responsible for
this awful break at the French language
and the mu ses:
II will mend your shoes while you wait,
And do the job au fait.''
There are many other queer and ridiculous
signs displayed in the ramifications of this
city, but to enumerate them would fill a
large sized volume.