Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-10-15
sa!zlg


Chicago Record. ~
He-"My life without you will be a
lonely one" The Heiress-"But think
how busy you will have to BELIZE.
He-"Have you any reason for doubt
ing what l sayT Shelves, l have"
He-"what Is it?" She-"I don't be-
lieve you."-Puck.
Its all over" AS the woman ut
tered these words she dropped to the
floor. The baby had spilled the ink
West Union Gazette.
us Miss Cahoots INF" inquired the
caller. THAT dcpinds on you. Are yez
Misther JonesT" said Bridget. yes"
"She gon' out."-Harper's Bazaar. i
Lets go shopping to-day, Tess"
IL can't, Bess; I've lots Of things to
buy to-day. I've nothing to do to-mor-
row; I'll so then."-New York Sun.
Sunday school teacher-"What Is the
leading doctrine of Christianity" The
laundryman kid throw stone =
smashce glass-no can catchee-forgiv-
um."-Puck.
what office are you after this
time?" "None at all" Then, what
are you running for?" Because l
don't want to be cOnspicuous!-Atlan-
ia Constitution.
Canny-"Is Miss Wilbur at homer"
Norah-"No, sorr." Canny-"WellTgo
upstairs and ask her when she will be
at home" Norah (going)-"Yis, sorr.S
-Harper's Bazar IN
"Jokey is in hard luckY whats
the matterY "He has lost that last
years crop of football jokes which he
intended working off on his editor
Philadelphia North American.
what in thunder are you speakin' to
the school children forT asked the
voter "Just keep quiet" replied the
candidate, they'll all be old enough
to vote before I'm elected."-Atlanta
Constitution.
Wicks heard a pretty compliment
to Hamlin, the actor, to-day. Squee-
sicks says he possesses the art which
conceals art" Hicks-''That's fact.
You'd never know he had any. "-Bos-
ton Transcript. fi6 M
There is pleasure in file painless
wood" 40
Wrote Byron, and these simple words
reveal.
Although the poet nature understood,
He didn't know thing about wheel.
Chicago Record.
There doesn't seem to be much of
demand for seats to this performance"
said the star. NO" said the, manager,
as he ran over bundle or dead-head
applications; nothing but requests
Washington Star. t-
Miss Keedick-"Ethel can't be after
money. She has broken her engage
ment with that wealthy ice man." Miss
Fosdick-"Don't be 700 sure. She jilt-
ed him for a man who owns a bicycle
repairing shop."-Life.
Scene: A cottage Of Loeb Awe-side.-
Lady tourist Ito the cottager's wife,
"And are these three nice little boys
all your own. Mrs. McFarlan" Mrs.
McFarlane-"Yiss, mem; but him in
the middle's a lassie."-Household
Words.
Hadn't you better call another ply
sician?" said the wife to the young doc
tor who was treating her husband.
Just for consultation, you know" mo,
ma'am," he replied. "My ideas are
confused enough already. Buffalo
Times.
II am writing play which cannot
fail to be a great success" said Foyer
to his friend. what is its chief fea-
ture?" 'In the last act the comedian
who has perpetrated all the chestnuts
dies a miserable th."-Pittsburg
Chronicle.
Papa" said Jackey, would you like
to have me give you perfectly beauti-
full Christmas PRESENT." Eyes, indeed"
Then now is the time to double my
allowance, SOS I'll have the money to
per's Bazaar.
"Why, Tommic, back from school al
readyY Eyes. Mike wouldn't let me
stay" CAV course not" said Mike.
"Yez towld me to taak Tommie down
to tn school, ma'am, but yez didn't
say nothin' about LAWN the bye there"
-Harper's Bazaar.
"The trouble with so many Of the
young men of this day and age" re-
marked old Uncle Sagely, comparing
his watch with the noon whistle, ''is
that they think there is a patent on
work, and they are afraid or getting
into trouble IL they use it.'-Puck.
Smurbs-Say, old man, can I tahH to
you for moment? Crurbs tdejectediyy
What Is it? Smurbs-Can youyloan
me a flyer? Crurbs Uoyously)~Cer-
tainly, old boy. thought you were
going to explain the political muddA
to me.-New York Herald.
Mrs. Farmer-Why don't you take
bath once in a while? Flowery Fields
Out Nv respect ter Inc mother. Her
dyin' words ter me wuz: "Hang yer
clo'es on a hickory limb an don't 30
near de water" an l never have
Judge.
whats this| the sultan shouted.
"Do they propose to interfere with my
killing few people whenever feel
like it?" THAT seems to be the idea,
SIRE" said his prime minister. "Humph.
I'll circumvent their lmpudence." .Tn
what way, sireT "Ill abdlcate ana
get job running trolley car In
Brooklyn. "-Washington Star.
------
A Psychological Cure.
The small boy had been requested to