davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
Why the Elopement Failed.

The old man was thoughtful.
"You say Maria has run away2' no said.
"She's eloped with Bill Jones and
they've started for town"
"HossesY' inquired the old man.
"No; bicycles, replied his wife.
Zone or two?"
'Two-one for each"
''That settles it," said the old man.
eve can catch them before they get to the
parsons.
"They'r both good riders, " suggested
his wife.
"Thats so," admitted the old man,
land they could beat either one of us
alone, but we're a powerful team when
we get together, Hannah. Can you leave
your bakin for little while?"
eff anythin burns, can bake again, y
she said sententiously, "but If Maria gifts
away with Bill Jones she's gone for good. p"
"Git on your boomers in n hurry, then, "
exclaimed the old man. OH be gittin the
tandem wheel out of the woodshed mean-
while and if we don't make those two
scorchers think there's whirlwind after
them it II be funny"
"Do you spose they forgot about the
tandem?"
"Maybe they thought we'd forgotten
how to ride it, replied the old man grimly
as he made his back into the form of an
arc just to satisfy himself that he had not
forgotten how to do it.
And that night, as Bill Jones looked
longingly up at the window of the room
where he knew his fair one was confined,
ba bitterly rpnroached himself for his fool
ishness in thinking that single wheel
could get away from a tandem and he
swore softly to himself that when next he
tried to take the maid away he would have
sextrplet, fully manned and with an
auxiliary gas engine attachment.-Chi'
cagO Post.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

rip east is often replete with many
annoyances, such as transfers and delays
in the larger cities and the summer tour
ist is deprived Of many pleasures which
are incident on trip to the eastern re-
sorts. To avoid these annoyances the
Santa Fe company has arranged to run a
special train, consisting of Pullman sleep
ers and chair cars, through to Buffalo, N.
Y, on July 4, without change. The train
will be in charge of an experienced mana
ger of the Santa Fe company, who will
arrange all the details of the trip and re-
lieve the passengers Of all annoyance and
responsibility, and II you are planning
for trip east arrange to join the N. E.
A. special on July 4. For rates and de-
tailed information apply to agent, Santa
Fe Railway.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

wonder that the digestion Of both gets out
of order
J Nature works as hard as she can, but
there are some things she cannot stand. If
a man gets some foreign substance into the
works of his watch, he doesn't expect the
watch to run until the impeachment is re-
moved His own digestive system is a
much more wonderful and delicate mechan-
ism than that of his watch and yet he neg
lects it and abuses it. He lets it get out of
order, and refuses to help it. In the end
his neglect reacts with terrible force upon
himself The reaction comes on gradually
however so that sometimes he scarcely sus-
poets the cause.
The cause of nine-tenths of the sickness
of the world is constipation "a condition
so common that four people out of five take
it as a matter of course. From this one
cause come indigestion disorders of the
stomach, liver and kidneys bliousness
headaches, hatulence, heartburn, impurity
of the blood and the serious complications
that follow. To begin with, constipation is
little thing and little thing will cure it.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are tiny, sugar
coated granules. They give to nature just
the little help she needs. They are as
gentle as they are efficient, and will per-
fectly cure the worst cases of constipation
There is nothing in the world like them, so
there can be nothing Just as good" The
druggist who tries to sell you something
else has his own interest in view and not
yours.
For a free sample package of from 4
to 7 doses, address Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association, No. 663 Main Street.
Buffalo, N Y.
Any one sending III one-cent stamps to cover
cost of mailing onlr, will receive free copy OF
Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser,
The expense of producing this wonderful book
regular price 81 50. 1t has now been decided to
give away aJsointrLy free, an edition OF soo,oos
copies. Address as above.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
AT AUNT SUSAN'o.
An IdyI of Childhood That Could Not BE
Duplicated at Any Club.

Speaking of things tasting good said
the nice old gentleman as he surveyed his
bird critically and glanced around at the
other five nice old gentlemen who always
lunched at the same table, at the same
club, at the same time every day in the
week; speaking Of things tasting good,
wonder if any of you fellows ever toiled
along hot, dusty country road with
your brother, about three miles home from
school, along in the neighborhood of half
past O'Clock, on the afternoon of a sutry
summer day, kicking up the dust with
your little bare feet and feeling hot and
uncomfortable and forlorn.
"And if any of you ever did wonder If
you ever went about half of mile out OF
your way to go round by Aunt Susans
and Uncle Ezras. Rover would come out
and sniff at you and wag his tail, go back
satisfied and lie down under the trees, and
you'd go round by the shady side door
step. Aunt Susan was always certain to
be standing in the door, and she'd say:
Land sakes, boys! Bless me, If you don't
look hot and tired enough know what
you want
"And she'd go right down into the cool
cellar and come back with two blue bowls
full of nice cold milk, right out of the pan
that was on the cellar bottom, and then
she'd bring out lot of slices of her salt
rising bread, and you'd go and sit down
on the big well stone in the shade Of the
apple tree and let your little tired, stone
bruised feet play with the water in the
trough, while breeze, so refreshing that
it must have come all of the way from the
lake just on your account, made you take
off your little chip hats SO that it could get
in among your hair.
"And you'd watch the big chunks of
bread soak themselves full of the cold,
white milk, and then you'd load them
away where they belonged with the funny
little silver spoons that Aunt Susan got
when she was married, whilo she looked
OH with smile that only Aunt Susans
and Aunt Marys and Aunt Hannahs and
one or two others have. And most likely
you'd drink out of the bowl so often that
there'd be some of the bread left and
Aunt Susan would go down cellar, laugh
ing, and fill the bowls up again out of the
same cool pan, and
"Alex, " said one of the other nice old
gentlemen, suddenly breaking in, ''just
bring me pitcher of iced"-
Don't do it, Henry" said the first nice
old gentleman with a tremor in his voice,
"don't do it. I've tried it, and it isn't
the samo-it isn't the same"
And all of the nice old gentlemen at
tackled their cold birds savagely, and it
was quite long time before anybody said
anything. --Truth
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
The Dog That Got the Ducks.

A good story is told Of hunters from
Washington who went to the coast of
North Carolina to shoot ducks.
There were six men in the party,
and they had three dogs with them.
They hunted in couples, each two hay
ing dog. Shooting was good, and from
each of the six couples the sound Of
guns being fired notified their friends
of their success, for they were only a
short distance apart.
Each couple was somewhat indig-
nant, because whenever duck fell their
own dog failed to get it, one dog SEEM
ing to secure almost every one Of the
wild fowl
At luncheon time they all came to-
gether.
"Well, what luck?" was the general
greeting.
Elegant, but your dog got our
ducks" was the universal response.
Then they looked at each other,
while from out the little bay glided a
skiff loaded with ducks, in the forward
end Of which sat the dog which had
gathered them in.-Washington Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
Notice for Publication.
Small holding claim, 1856.

UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE, [
Santa Fe, N. NJ, June l6, 1896.
Notice is hereby given that the follow.
ing-named claimant has filed notice of
his intention to make final proof in sup
port of his claim, and that said proof will
be made before the register or receiver,
at Santa Fe, N. M on July ~, 1896, viz:
Anthony Fourchegu, of Santa Fe, N. M,
for tract in sections 16, 81 and 2S, tip. II
n, r.9e.
He names the following witnesses to
prove his actual, continuous adverse pos
session of the trast for twenty years next
preceding the survey of the township,
viz:
Jose Antonio Romero, Jacinto Gale
Cos, Antonio Armijo, Eleuterio Barela,
all of Santa Fe, N. M.
JAMES H. WALKER, Register.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
PROPOSALS FOR SUBSISTENCE

PROPOSALS FOR SUBSISTENCE
STORES Office Purchasing Commissary
of Subsistence, Denver, Colo. June 10,
lS96.-Sealed proposals, in duplicate, will
he received here until II o'clock a. M,
July 10, 1896, and opened in presence of
bidders, for furnishing the Subsistence
Department, U. s. Army, on or before
August l, 1896, as may be required, with
ZIG pounds pure Chilli Colorado Pepper,
put up in half-pound tin cans, with nova
BILE tops, six pounds packed in box,
boxes strapped, delivered in Denver, Colo.
Preference given to article Of domestic
production or manufacture, quality and
price being equal Right is reserved to
reject any or all bids. Information furn-
ished on application. Envelopes contain
ing proposals should be marked PRO
posals for Subsistence Stores, July 10,
1896" and addressed W. L. Alexander,
Capt, G. S.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
MY QUEEN.

Dear wife aud perfect friend, my household
queen,
With watchful care making my home so dear
That all my work mere pastime doth appear;
r but thy fair face in my room be seen,
And the soft voices music intervene,
Like melody itself the brain to clear
OF o'erspun tissue of thoughts atmosphere
By gracious fancies where Gods hand hath
been
Man cannot rise, or so think, to heights
Where spirits pure as thine unconscious
move
Till that white Purity's exceeding lights
The grosser spirits earthly strain reprove
And the best angel of Jehovah's fights.
Arm MS anew with his whole armor-Love
Spectator.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Eli Hill, Lumber City, Pa, writes: II
have been suffering from piles for twenty.
Ave years an thought my case incurable
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve was recon.
mended to me as a pile cure, so bought
a box and il performed permanent cure
This is only one of thousands Of similar
cases. Eczema, sores and skin diseases
yield quickly when it is used. Newton's
drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

"That man" exclaimed Fizz as he OBJ
served man hanging lights at precarious
places along highway that was in course
of repair; "that man is pretty we'll assured
of permanent job"
"Why do you say that?" asked by
stander.
because" responded Fizz, "a man
that hangs fire isn't apt to be discharged. "
Boston Courier.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Mothers will find Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy especially valuable for Group and
whooping cough. 1t will give prompt
relief and is safe and pleasant. We have
sold it for several years and it has never
failed to give the most perfect satisfac-
tion.-G. w. Richardson, Duquesne, Pa.
Sold at Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Little Boy-Pop, what's the difference
between an editor in chief and a manag-
ing editor9
Pop IAN old reporter)-The editor in
chief is the man who attends banquets and
gets all the glory; the managing editor is
the man who does the Knew York
Wapk1y
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
Notice for Publication.
Desert land, final proof.
UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE,
n

Santa Fe, N, M, June IL, 1896.
Notice is hereby given that G. Leon
Allison, of Santa Fe. N. NJ, has filed
notice of intention to make proof on his
desert-land claim No. $40, for the SO a OF
NV "a and lot 8, section 3, tip 16 n, O.
before the register or receiver, at Santa
Fe, N. NJ, on Saturday, the 18th day OF
July, 1896.
He names the following witnesses to
prove the complete irrigation and re-
clamation of said land:
Matthias j. Maggie, Nievos Romero, JEFF
ferson Hill, Diego Gonzales, of Santa Fe,
N. M.
JAMES H. WALKER, Register.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
His Inferiority.

Josh Grayneck-So you heard the cele-
brated violinist play while you was up to
the city, Jay? Waal, how did you like
him?
Jay Green (back from the metropolis
Shucks! He didn't amount to much.
I've seen more than 40 fellers play that
sweat more than he did.-New York
World
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
Are You Going to Colorado

Then take the "Santa Fe Route;" 10
hours to Denver, II hours to Colorado
Springs, Is hours to Pueblo. The only
standard gauge line between Santa Fe
and the above named points. For par
ticulars, consult timetables or call on
any agent of the Santa Fe Route.
H. S. LUTz, Agent,
Santa Fe, N. NJ.
GEO. T. NICHOLSON, G. P. A.,
Chicago, III.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

>"You didn't take that middle fiat
which you liked SO well?"
"No."
"Rent too high?'
ooh, no! found that the woman ur
stairs kept some Angora cats and that
the man in the lower fiat was raising
pug dogs. "-Chicago Record.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

I soar!
Thus cried the inventor of the new
flying machine, as he rose slowly from
the earth.
few moments afterward he corrected
himself.
Imean that I am sore! he exclaimed,
as he dropped heavily upon his native
soil, which had some hard stones in it,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

"Nerve," said the enthusiastic man. "Jer-
rold has the most nerve ever knew one
man to carry. What do you think he did
while the doctors were saving off his Leg"
"Give it up" said the man who was listen
ing with one ear and watching for the car
with both eyes. "He lay there and sang just
Tell Them That You Saw Me- that's what
he did"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
Round. Rosy Faces,

Laughing eyes, frames full of vigor and
elasticity, are blessings attainable by the
cadaverous, the haggard and the dyspep-
tic who try that wisest of experiments
an experiment whose happy outcome is
certified to by myriads-viz., course of
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters promptly
begun and steadily pursued. There isno
tonic comparable to it in efficacy, none
more agreeable and speedily beneficial.
The nervous and dyspeptic, sufferers
from malaria, rheumatism, constipation,
bliousness AMI kidney troubles are
rapidly aided by the Bitters, and it is one
of the best means of counteracting the
effects of excessive bodily or mental
fatigue, and exposure in wet or inclement
weather. Persons of sedentary habits
fine it a most useful vivifier and recup-
orator of exhausted energy. Use it in
order to sleep we'll, eat heartily and digest
thoroughly. Physicians everywhere speak
in high terms of it.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

We are anxious to do little good in
this world and can think of no pleasanter
or better way to do it than by recon-
mending One Minute Cough Cure as
preventive of pneumonia, consumption
and other serious lung troubles that fol-
low neglected colds. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

II would be hard to convin % man
suffering from bilious collie that his agony
is due to a microbe with an unpronounc-
able name. DeWitt's Colo and Cholera
Cure will convince him of its power to
afford instant relief. 1t kills pain. New
toms drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

If marriages are made in heaven,
As I have heard tell,
Divorces, I am much afraid,
Are all cooked up ina very different
place.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
HHE workman oftea

l r. WOl kIIldH Oitca
eats his lunch on the
same bench where
he does his work.
I h e o fiji &c IN a n
snatches a few min
utes from his occu-
; patton and turns his
desk into a dining
table. Neither gets
the exercise he
needs, neither takes
the proper time for
eating If is small
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Pure blood means good health. De-
Wits Sarsaparila purities the blood,
cures eruptions, eczema, scrofula aud all
diseases arising from impure blood.
Newtons drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
They are getting pretty strict in New
York.
What's the matter nowi
man was arrested last Sunday for
having thirst for knowledge.
Notice for Publication.
[Small Holding Claim No. 436.
IAvr Ovrynr An 2ANrA Er. N. NJ

LAND OFFICE AT SANTA FE, N. NJ,
June 8, 1896.
Notice is hereby given that the follow
ing named claimant has fled notice of
his intention to make final proof 10 sup
port of his claim, and that said proof will
be made before the register or receiver,
at Santa Fe N. NJ, on July 10, 1896, viz:
Jose A. R,bera, of Pojoaqse, N. M, for
lot in sections 4 and 8, tip. 16 n, re- O.,
and lot in sections 20, 20 and 80, tp. II
n, r.9e.
He names the following witnesses to
prove his actual continuous, adverse pos
session of said tracts for twenty years next
preceding the survey OF the township, viz:
Jose Antonio Romero, Jose Jacinto Gall
egos, Miguel Aranaga y Romero, Fran
cisco Ortiz y Tafoya, Of Santa Fe, N. M.
JAMRs H. WALKxR,
Register
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Mr.. James Perdue, an old soldier resid-
ing at Monroe, Mich, was severely af-
hicted with rheumatism but received
prompt relief from pain by using Cham.
berlain's Pain Balm. He says: cat times
my back would ache so badly that could
hardly raise up. If I had not gotten re-
lief would not be here to write these few
lines. Chamberlain's Pain Balm has done
me great deal of good and I feel very
thankful for it," For sale at Ire)and's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Some women find great deal of con-
ISOLATION in their misfortunes if they
think they look we'll in black.
Woman is noble. She wishes her rival
to reach ripe old age-but right away.
Who guesses correctly at woman's
thought is often considered impertinent.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Marie had a little lamb;
But when IN love Jacques sought her,
They sent it to the butcher man,
And dined on its hind quarterl
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
Next Thing to 1t.

"Can you grasp Il 8 idea of eternityp"
almost. l loaned a fellow $40 for
three days, and he's had it for seven
years !''--Chicago Record.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Customer-Is this diamond of the first
water?
Pawnbroker-Yes, sir. 1t is the first
time it has been in coax.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
sUNBEAMs.

"Do you use condensed milkf" asked
the neighbor of Mrs. Eastside. eyes," she
replied. 81 think the milkman must con-
dense it. If he didn't, don't see how on
earth he could get so much water in it,"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Young Doctor-Which do you consider
the best paying specially?
Old Doctor--People who only think
they are sick.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

"Wake up, Jacob, day is breaking" 80
said DeWitts Little Early Risers to the
man who had taken them to arouse his
sluggish liver. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

How am to get food from these peo-
pie? unused the tramp.
just tell them you saw me! sang the
wood pile.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

May-Why does Miss Bullion always
60 abroad to do her shopping?
Pamela-It's the only place one can
purchase title.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Do you lack faith and love health? Let
us establish your faith and restore your
health with DeWitt's Sarsaparilla. New
tons drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Moberly -Crusty was the last man I
thought would be married. Finks-Well,
you see, he's got so bad that he said he
thought he might as we'll have the game
as the name.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Poet Ito farmer See what beautiful
prospect is unfolded in yonder billowy
fields, and bark! the voice of the plow-
man. Farmer-Yes, he's been cussin' that
mule since daylight, and it's one of them
German mules that used to pull beer
wagon, so he can't understand word of
IT.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

A good recommendation for Simmons
Liver Regulator 10, that it is purely vege-
table and strongly tonic. Then, too, it is
better than pills, because easier to take
in liquid or powder and with no gripping,
while the relief from constipation, bilious
ness, sick headache and dyspepsia is quick
and sure. II find Simmons Liver Regula-
tor very safe and valuable family medi-
cine."-Rev. ]. M. Rollins, Fairfield, Va.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

When we consider that the intestines
are about five times as long as the body,
we can realize the intense suffering ex-
perienced when they become infamed.
DeWitt's Colo and Cholera Cure subdues
Inflammation at once and completely re-
moves the difficulty. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

Merchant-You say you are an orphan.
Applicant for Position-Yes; 1 havn't a
living relative. Merchant-Well, Til take
you. ought to get lot of work out of
you during the baseball season.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19
A Reproof.

Persons who have coughing spell
every night, on account of tickling SEN
sation in the throat, may overcome 1T at
once by dose of One Minute Cough Cure.
Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-19

If it required an annual outlay of 800
to insure family against any serious
consequences from an attack of bowel
complaint during the year there are many
who would feel it their duty to pay it;
that they could not afford to risk their
lives and those of their family for such
an amount Anyone can get this insur-
ance for rs cents, that being the price of
bottle of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy. In almost every
neighborhood some one has died from an
attack of bowel complaint before medi-
cine could be procured or a physician
summoned. One or two doses Of this
remedy will cure any ordinary case. 1t
never fails. Can you afford to take the
risk for so small an amount? For sale
at Tyeland's Pharmacv