The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-16

ty. cuts the can of reptile open an hands
il to the sick man.
" 'Nere is your lobster, OLD teller says
PUNK But I'm afraid the cussed thing
oh, no, it hain'tw SAYS poor Hop.
sniftn' 10 similar TO bridal wreath.
'Ah-h-h-h-h that smells like the oceanv
" Smells TO me a heap more like an at
tack of earache,' says PUNK. wrinklin' up
his nose.
says the sufferer. with a happy smile,
when somebody gives him a spoonful Of
the juice.
Tastes a blamed more Ike your foot
was asleep
wal. to make a short story long. as the
Teller says, poor Hop ceases TO- regard as
any more after that, an we leaves him
alone, gain lovinly at his lobster an
takin "a sip now an then.
"Nuthin' of Importance happens after
that till along toward 3 O'Clock next
mornin', when some stranger that is rid
in through the settlements hauls up In
front of the Buzzard Roost, whur me
an PUNK an others of Hops comtorters
is lodged, an sets up yell.
HAS the gent that resides i'm the She
bang out at the west end of the street
got any friends in this we're wgwamy
TO poke out Of the windows.
"A heap more than you have, when
you come hOwlin us out of bed at this
untmely hour! says l. plenty sourcastlc.
What do you think you wantY
"'Nuthin' says he, calmly. I'm rich
an contented. But mebby it win interest
that gents friends TO know that-er-er-
any ladies' listenin'g
- No. Go on with your siclSenin' storyr
wal, then the Pit of Tawment
pears to have broke loose in his house.
From what 1 could gather from the stand
point of a mere passerby, / Jedge that
several wildcats is engaged in skihnln
your friends alive, or else his wife is sor-
ter argyin' matters with him-I reckon
it's the latter.
Did you go in an
WHO me! Not SOS you could notice
| it, I've been married, myself, a great
| plenty, an have had the pleasure Of rid
| in seven miles through a haistOrm to sit
the rim of a skillet filed off from my
neck. Unh-uh! When a gent an the
| wife of his buzzom Is engaged in deter
| mimi which is the best man. your old
| Uncle Fuller jest passes by on. the other
| side. l hain.t noways haEFty, but L m a
'Huhr says 7. You hain't showed it
this time! The gent that lives thar hahn (
pOssessin' no Wife
=" L hain't testifyin' whose wife it Is that
is pourin the CAD to him, says the strang-
err cheerily, but If thar hain't a good,
| old-fashioned family row goin on IN that
| Niller l never had the pleasure Of listenn'
| to one. Wal, / reckon III be ridin along.
1t hain't long till we have piled into
our trappin's an rushed off TO investi-
| gate. The stranger hain't lied so bad as
| he might have done. after all.
Sounds like about seven Of EN- was
| all 1umpin onto the poor sick man at
once, says PUNK when we gifts within
when we broke the door down an.
charged in with our guns in our hands we
| could see by the moonlight that streamed
| IN through the place Whur the door had
| been that the room looked as If Hop HAD
| been entertainin a cyclone. The furni-
| ture was knocked this way an that, an
| everything turned wrong side up but the
| bed. Nobody was to be seen, but thar
/ was a scrabbHn' an grOanin' under the
| bed.
Who's thar2' demands Grizzly.
The late Hopkins A. Lcng.' saws a
| pain-racked an twisted voice win yoh
please git a club an pound me across me
| stummick about forty times?
| with that, poor Hop slowly an sadly
| energies from under the couch walkin' on
| his hands an feet with MS back down an
/ bis abdoughmen bowed like a dummy
~ am glad to see that you are well
| enough 20 play jokes on your friends
| an gazed at Hop. 7 rekon this we're IS
| what you'd call a pun, but cussed ii / see
J" This haint no joke says Hop. I'm
'Some kind soul tears out an directly
! brings DR.. Slade on the dead run, an after
| a spell poor Hop IS eased an quieted an
| then he explains:
That thar lobster tastes no good an
! am so weak an homesick,' says he fee
/ bly,, that / surrounds ii all at one ses-
/ sion an soon drops off to sleep Later.
! I'm dreamin' that 1 swallowed a whole
/ gosh-blamed torchlight process. on. which
1 winds up in a ight an riot. Talk about
/ nightmares! / had n ght elephants an
/ night crocckydiles an night devils all
! at the same time, an then some / don't
/ know what all happened, but / found my
self tearin' an thrashin around the room
4 like a fifty cat in a strange bag The
/ furniture was upset an the matches lost,
/ an l furgOt whur ] was at, which one
of the boys ! was an what year it hap
/ pened to ber
d" But thar Is one thing I'm certain of,
/ gentlemen; I'm cured / don't want to go
/ east no more l have had a taste of the
ocean, an one taste is plenty for mel
don't want to go east
AN that is how Hop Along's home
sickness was cured upon the homypa thie
princinle."