The evening times., 1896-06-29
TAKES TINE TO TELEPHONE.
Talking Over the Wire In London
Is Not Fun.
CHICAGO Tribune.

"Hellov' is not in the vocabulary of the
telephone user in Great Britain. In its
place one hears: Il say!' Look h'yar!
or, "Ah you th'yar?" which, being inter
preted, means Look here.' and Are you
there?'' The telephone service of London is
not so extensive as that of almost any
fourth-rate American city. There are more
telephones in Milwaukee than there are in
Loud On and the rate To Victoria subjects
is only $50 year. There is Some peculiar
quality in the voice uf the average English
man that renders his speech almost unin-
telIigible over the phone. That IN itself
discourages him i'll the use OF MIR. Bell
machine, but another and more potent
reason exists ID the wretched ma nagement.
A Chicago man who spent some time in
London gives an interesting description
OF the process of obtaining telephone con-
nectioD in the English capital.
There's only one thing the matter with
these Eng ish telephone people, he SAID.
They're 100 quick-almost gives you heart
disease, they're 50 rapid. II you are wise
you'll. start trying TO get your party early
in themorning- about O'Clock. That
is very early III London. Assuming that
YOU wish to get friend to dine with you,
and that you employ one of the public
telephones, you approach the machine and
give The crank half a dozen turns. Then II
YOU have a little business in the neigh
borhood, 81 out and transact II, for you can
get IL over and be back to the telephone
in ample time to hear the answering ring.
The bell having rung, you ring again, place
the receiver to your ear and remark .Ab
you th'yar?'
This is the exchange says the girl III
the other end. Please pye fopence to the
bawx' This means that you are to droI
| four pennies, equal to eight cents, into the
| little wooden box at your elbow. Each
| copper as it falls strikes gong, and the
| blows are loud enough to be heard through
| the telephone by the girl at the office
Having been satisfied that you have de
posted the toll, she politely asks
'Wot numbah, please?'
Look hyah,' you say; L want three
| one-siX-one, and look sharp. please, as
wish to catch a ryne.' You say 'rryne
instead OF train so That the young woinal
1 will know what you mean. You hang NJ
the receiver and wait five minutes. Thei
| your bell rings,you give an answering rim,
| and hear this:
+" so sorry, but tn ree-one-six-one j.
| engyged. I'll call you wien they've fin
ished.'
"Tnere is where you get the chance Il
read novel or please yourself in any wa.
you like for. say. half an hour. Maybe
| will be less If you are sharply looked afte
|
kles You ring back and start in with tn
inevitable. An you th'yar?' The voice a
the other end is that of man this time
evidently a clark who speaks a differen
kind of English and betrays his humhl
position by his extreme politeness an
careful use OF 'sirs,
Three ee-one-siS-one. sir. 90 did yo
wish TO speak with, sir?'
This is Mr. Breez of American, at tn
Hotel victawria. Please ahsk Mr.. HerbeI
IL he will do Mt. Breezy. the honor to din
with him at his hotel at 80 tonight
".Yessir. 'alf a minute, sir; old tn
wire. sir. pause five minutes, Mr.. Ell
berts compliments. sir, and I'm to sye e.
be delighted. Anythink yelse. sir?'
"No, thanks; that's all And then 20
ring off and hustle back to your room t
get dressed for dinner. At least that
about the way it gees IL you speak tn
language and understand it and have lot
of time to spare. If you speak only Unite;
States, and don't understand middle elias
English as you hear 1t spoken in Londo or
don't monkey with telephone. Call
messenger and send note. 1t will be muc
more satisfactory and, IL it is any dis
tance inside of mile, will be quicker