davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
Whistler Saved Him.

1t is not generally known that the
greatest living English poet, whose
name the reader must be left to fill
in for himself, was once threatened
with expulsion from a west end club
for dancin" a fandago upon the silk
hats of other mem bers. James Nc
Neil Whistler, however, i%nterposed
and saved him with his eloquence.
One man of genius, Mr.. Whistler
urged, was worth any number of
silk hats, seeing that silk hats coul1
be replaced and men of genius could
not. Then and not till then the irate
committee reconsidered its decision
and accepted the apology which was
rendered.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
A MILK TICKET COURTSHlP.
Blufferty Was Tired of Continued Perform
ances and Wanfed a Reforn1

Blufferty Was Tired of Continued Perform
ances and Wanted a Reform.
"Step into the library a minute
said Blufferty to young Nincomnoodle
as he was admitted by the maid. The
out loose.
"You call on my daughter, sir?"
81 have that pleasure occasionally
occasionally? Thunder and Marsl
Young man, what would be your idea
Of calling frequently? You're here seven
nights in the week, to say nothing of
three or four m~atinees. This continuous
performance business has got to be
stopped"
"Do-does Marcia obiect?'
"Miss Blufferty does not object, sir.
Mrs. Blufferty does not object. They
would like to give you the front room,
board you, adopt you, make a favorite
son of you, but l object, Mr.. Nincom-
noodle, and my objections are always
sustained in this household"
You won't forbid me coming at all,
MIR. Butterfly"
"Not at present, sir, but I am going
TO give you an occasional day and even
ing off. We can't any of US stand this
astonishing constancy. You see this lit
tie card l hold in my hand?"
"Yes, SIR"
"Notice that it's numbered from / to
II? Same principle as a milk ticket"
eyes, sir"
"That's got to do a month, sir. Ev-
>-- L.. 100. I'LL H. IN ---l
out a number. When the ticket is used
up, you can't get in here till the next
month. And I'll be case keeper myself,
young man. Any bogus tickets, bribing
the maid, meeting on the sly or trying
in any other way to brace the game
against ne means that you will be
kicked out bodily and kept out. TIL
give you a benefit this afternoon, but
the ticket system goes into operation at
sundown. New York Sunday World.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
SKETCHES BY M.QUAD
How MIR. Perkins Did It.

de was a young man about % years
OF age, and he wore a broad brim hat,
long hair and buckskin ieggings. In his
belt he had two guns and a knife, and
from the ~buttonholes of his vest dangled
bear claws He stood thus on the plat
form as the train rolled i'll, and he was
showing off at a grea@a ate when one Of
the passengers walked up to him with
pencil and notebook in hand and said:
"Name, please"
"My name? / am called Sioux Bill,
| sir"
"Sioux Bill, Ell? Didn't know but
what it was Baby Bill or Sweet Will
liam. Occupation, if you please"
"Indian fighter, sir"
"Oh, oh! 1 wouldn't have believed
it. Thought you run a greenhouse or a
dairy. What's your object in wearing
such clothes and carrying those guns?"
WHO in - are you?" demanded
the awful Indian fighter as he turned
on the other.
"Perkins-Mistah Perkins, was the
reply.
"And what do you want of me?"
ouot W LUX yOu OVER. Leu s see!
Sioux Bill, Indian fighter, guns and
bear claws and leggings. Does not run
a greenhouse or dairy. Um! uni Have
you ever fired a pistol, sir?''
"W-what?" shouted the OTHER.
"Never fool with a pistol said Mr..
Perkins. "Lots Of people have been
hurt that way. Do you wish to sell
those bear claws? If so, I will buy
them for my baby brother. Those leg
gings might come in handy when I go
hunting for frogs. My dear fellow, how
much for the whole outit?'
"You-you blamed fishworm! But
do you know how near death you are?'
howled Sioux Bill as he danced around.
"Don't-don't do it," replied Mr..
Perkins. tits bad for the health.
There, now. sit down on this truck and
calm yourself. That's the way. There's
a lot of passengers admiring you, and
you have an excellent pose. Keepit up.
I Knew the sort Of a man you We're at a
glance. but 1 won't give you away.
bangle the bear claws and hitch your
gun around. That's it-that's the style.
I'll see you later when I've had a bite
to eat. Ia ia, William! Don't disturb
the pose."
But William did. He got up and van.
ished down the platform, and as the
train pulled out we saw him hiding be-
tween two salt barrels.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
A New England Peddler's RetOrt.

One day, with a party of ''fellow
boarders, was driving to a glen
which bears the dismal name of
Purgatory. We became somewhat
doubtful if we were on the right
road and halted for consultation. A
country peddler with his tin trunks
hove in sight. Our party was a mer-
ry one, and perhaps the old man un-
justly surmised that some of the
levity which he witnessed was at
his expense. l asked him if be knew
the way to Puragtory, and he an
Gwered, Yes"
An awkward pause ensued, fol-
lowed by a burst of laughter at my
expense. ! then begged him to i'm
part the desired information to US,
and he said, You'll get there if you
keep right on bouts your goin."-
Frank French in Scribner's.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
An Awful Strain.

The four champion prizefghters of
the world came out on the stage, bow
ed to the audience as they were intro
duced, took their seats, and the great
battle was on.
The silence was awful. At the end
Of II minute n champion had fallen.
to rise no more. Then dropped another
and another, and at the expiration of
six minutes nor bat n remained.
There was a light of triumph in his
eyes, but the sweat was pouring down
his face and every limb was trembling.
But he had won. He had remained
silent for seven minutes. indianapolis
Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
1t Was His Brother Sam.

One day a mild hammered mar came
along to our camp at Cedar Bend, and
after looking around for awhile he said
to Jim Taylor, who was then the recog-
nized boss Of the camp:
81 suppose you hang a man here now
and then?'
"Oh, certainly" replied Jim. eyes,
we take pleasure in hangin a man at
intervals"
"You hung n about the middle Of
last June, l believer"
"Let's see. Middle of last June?
sir, we hung a critter at that time
had the honor Of kickin the bar'l out
from under him myself. Was he a
friend of yours?"
"Mebbe he was. Did he resemble me
in looks?''
"Waal, now, come to take a straight
squint at you, l should say he did. He
had your eyes and hair, and I should say
his nose was a brother to yours. l don't
want to press things, but if he was a re-
lashun of yours you needn't feel at all
delikit about sayin So"
"Did he give his first name as Sam?''
eyes, he did"
"And the last name as Baker?"
"That's it. I've got it writ down on
a book in my shanty."
"Then he was a brother Of mine-my
only brother" said the stranger in a
voice which shook a little. "Would it
be agin custom to ask what you hung
him for?'
sob, no., mol He picked up a back
load of property belongin to one of the
boys and was maxim off when We cotch.
ed him."
"Give him a trial?"
EUR sure"
"Did he say much?'
"Not very much. Jest observed he
was mighty glad he was goin to git shet
Of this kentry."
"And he died happy?'
REASONABLY SO, stranger-reasonably
happy. Yes, we all remarked that he
seemed to look upon it as a change fur
the better and that he felt tolerable
sartin of reachir a climate whar it
wouldn't make any difference if he
went outdoors some mornin and forgot
his overcoat. So it was your brother?"
eyes"
Skin I say anythin to comfort you,
stranger?"
"N-o, Idon't know as you kin. " slow
ly replied the man. II was jest passin
en- my way to White Hill, and I thought
I'd stop and see if it really was Sam. I
might take a drink if you hev a bottle
iialdy."
"Sartinly. Here she is. Don't stint
yerse'f."
"Thanks; that's good. And in the
midst of life we are in death. Kinder
sorry you hung Sam, but I reckon it had
to be, and you can say to the boys that
/ amt kickin. I take the road to the
left, don't I? Waal, SO long"
M. QUAD.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
He Wanted the Earth.

Stanley and Henry, two 4-year-olds,
gazed with wide open eyes at a Knights
of Pythias funeral the other day. The
uniforms made a strong impression upon
their youthful minds. and the band,
playing a funeral march, a stronger one
still. After the parade had passed Oh
they resumed their play.
"Let's play fooneral," said Stanley.
"All wight" assented Henry. "I'll
divine de toach."
ono, I'll dwive," asserted Stanley.
"Den I'll be de band"
"No, I'll be de band"
"Tan / be de dead man, den?"
"No, you tan't. I'm doin to be dead
man., insisted Stanley.
"You want to be de whole ~fooneral. I
won't play" and away he went-in in
dignation. Detroit News.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
Gittin Sleepy.


It's gittin dark. Got all my chores done up.
Jis' settin here a-restin fer a spell
N listenin. Dye hear that funny skreekP
That's pa a.drawin water at tn well.
Gee whiz! I'm gittin sleepy!
Hain't washed my feet. Guess they don't need
it bad.
Hear them ole crickets holler in tn yardf
What good is cricketsf Hi, there goes a bati
Hear Rover snorin? Hain't he breathin hsrdp
Gee whiz! I'm gittin sleepy!
That little tree toad's yellin like he feels,
AS big's a bullfrog. Don't ye smell that hayf
Wisht ! 'uz layin in it. Feel that wind?
l like ter hev it blow me hair that way.
Gee whiz! I'm gittin sleepy!
It's awful long sence supper. Don't l wisht
! had a piece o. huckleberry pie!
I'd like ter be a COW, what chews its cud
N sleeps same time. / wisht at ! ed fiyi
Gee whiz! I'm gittin sleepy!
William r. Lighton In Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
MY LITTLE SWEETHEART.

A sunny face with eyes of blue,
A heart that beats for me so true,
Shining hair of glittering gold,
Her love for me is wealth untold.
How can ! wait, my darling one7
I count the hours until you come.
] miss you so, my life is drear.
I need you, love, my heart to cheer.
l miss you goodby at the door,
I miss your welcome when work is Ger,
And the daylight fades and melts away,
But l miss you more when l kneel to pray.
And every night, my little one,
l try to say, "Thy will be done"
But when l think of the weary years
The words are drowned in Il rush of tears
Good night, my queen, my little one.
The twilight deepens; the day is done.
May heavenly angels watch DER you,
My little daughter, my sweetheart true.
May Phillips Tatro in Minneapolis Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
SHE WANTED TO KICK.
But Somehow the Gentle Clerk Managed
to Baik Her Scheme.

but somehow the Gentle Clerk Managed
to Baik Her Scheme.
"Is this the water Officer she asked
as she entered, with fire in her eye and
fight in her voice.
at is, madam" replied the gentle
clerk at the desk. sis there anything I
can do for you this fine morning?'
There may be, and there may not
be" she replied, with much asperity,
"but / came in to say that while 1 was
drawing water to make coffee for break
fast a great fish came out of the faucet,
tnd"-
"Oh, | see" the clerk interrupted,
with an ingratiatiDg smile. "You
came in to pay the city for the fish.
That was very honest and good of you,
I'm sure. but the city will not accept
any money for a single fish. 1t is true
the city charges for water only and does
not guarantee to furnish fish as well,
and I'm bound to say that most ladies
would have taken the fish and said moth
ing about it. However, the city will not
take advantage of your unequaled gen.
erosity. 1t will make no charge for it,"
With a -magnanimous wave OF his
hand the clerk tried to dismiss the SUBJ
ject, but the caller resumed:
but this fish was''-
ooh, yes, l know what you would
say. The fish was a fine large one and
made an agreeable addition to your
morning meal, but still the city would
not think of charging you for it. If
you are go very conscientious about it,
however. you might keep count of the
fish that the city supplies in that way,
and after you have had, say, a dozen
we may make some sort of a charge,
but we could not think of accepting pay
for one Or two, not for a moment"
Young man," glared the woman,
lido you think it is the proper thing
to get your fish by way of your water
faucets?"
"To be frank with you, madam, 1 do
not think it is, and for that reason I
would advise you to say nothing about
it, especially among neighbors. If the
people generally got to know that the
city was favoring you by sending you
fresh fish for breakfast in your water
pipes, why, we should have streams of
people coming in here to kick because
the city does not provide them with
fresh fish also. You can easily see that
the city cannot undertake to do that.
Fine morning, but l think we shall have
more rain before night"
The clerk resumed his seat, and the
cOmplainer departed, muttering some
thing which no one could hear. Town
Topics.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
Potter Girl,a Defens.,

Poster Girls Defense.
Il was an artless poster girl pinned up against
my wall,
She was. tremendous ugly and she was exceed
I was gazing at her idly, and think I must
have slept,
For that poster maiden lifted up her poster
voice and wept.
She said between her poster sobs ~ think it's
rather rough
To be jeered and feered and iouted, and I've
=. stood it long enough.
I'm tired of being quoted 60 a fright and fad
And take this opportunity my poster mind
to speak.
Although my hair is carmire and my nose 10
edged with blue,
Although my style is splashy and my shade
effects are few,
Although I'm out OF drawing and my back
hair is a show.
Yet I haven't half the WITNESSES Of the maid
ems that you know.
II never keep you waiting while 1 prink be-
fore the glass.
I never talk such twaddle as that little Daw.
son lass,
! never paint on china, nor erotic novels write,
And / never have recited 'Curfew Must Not
Ring Tonight
81 don't rave over Ibsen, 1 never, never firt.
l never wear a shirt waist with a disconnected
skirt.
I never speak i'll public on 'The Suffrage or
The Race
I never talk while playing whist or trump my
partners AGO."
| said: "Oh, artless poster girl, you're in the
right of it.
You are a Joy forever, though q thing of benu-
ty, nit!"
And from her madden eyebrows to her utmost
purple swirl.
Against all captious critics I'll defend the
poster girl.
New York Sunday World.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
What Jack Hubbard Did.

Little Jack Hubbard went to the cup.
board and ''swiped" thence a big GUS
tard of pie. His mother had said before
going to bed, IT oar make pie crust
short when l try"
When morning came round, Mrs. II.
quickly found that Jack had been there
on the sly, and instead of short crust. to
her utmost disgust. she was short of the
whole bloomin pie. New York World.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
Loss of Spirits.

eyes" observed the medium sadly,
81 am very low spirited. In fact
Her face fell.
Twelve had nothing but ordinary
actors and senators all the evening"
1t was evident that no first class
seance could make q hit without at least
Mary, queen Of Scots. - New York
Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
The Corn Fed PHILOSOPHER.

1.-THE older a man gets" said the
corn fed philosopher, ''the harder he
finds it to feel sorry for a woman whose
pug dog has died. indianapolis Jour-
nal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10

TIME SCHEDULE.
Northern Pacific time card in effect Monday,
June ID.
ARRIVE AT HELENA.
No. 3, Pacific Express. west bound $40 O.. M.
No. 9. Atlantic Express. east bound, 200 o. m.
No. livingston and Missoula local,
daily except Sunday. ......:.... IL 100 q. M.
No 4. Miss0ula and Livingston local,
daily except Sunday. ............. 900 p. m
Sunday -. -. ....... ...... 9:3O a, H..
No.9. Wickes and Boulder mixed dali
ly except Sunday. runs from Basin
on Mondays. Wednesdays and Fri
days. from Elkhorn on Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Saturdays .......... SEQ p. m.
No. l0s, Rimini mixed. Tuesdays only ESQ p. m.
DEPART FROM HELENA.
No. 8, Pacific Express, westbound, 3:45 a. III.
No. 9, Atlantic Express, eastbOund, 2:G a. nj.
No. 8, Livingston and Missoula local
daily except Sunday. -. 80: HOS q. m.
No. 4. Missoula and Livingston local
daily except Sunday 2:1Op. m.
Sunday. 3:3Op. m.
daily except Sunday, runs to Basin
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays,
to Elkhorn Tuesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays ......... 49,. 7:l5 a. NJ.
No. 101, Rimini mixed Tuesdays only 1890 a. m.
Through tickets to Japan and China, via Ia
com and Northern Pacific Steamship Co.
For information, time cards, maps and tickets,
cali on or write
ID. EDGAR.
GENERAL AGENT, HELENA, MONTANA,
---
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
Rebuked.

He-Will You marry me?
She--How bold and forward. Are
you not aware, sir, that this is leap
year, and that I am a new woman?-
Truth,
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10

II gold IL . better metal for coin than
silver because 1t can be handled easier
that is. because large amounts OF 1t are
less bulky-why not have diamonds as a
standard and let one south African trust
control the world3
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
His Answer.

Friend-Why do you drink whisky
Colonel Blood don't know of any
better use can put it t o.-Town Topics.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-10-10
Wherever Won NAV Re-.

care many of the Four Hundred
here?"
"Oh, yes. Thousands of them. -
Truth.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-09-06
FINAL CATTLE AWARDS.
Ribbon Wearers Are Named by the
Judges.

The Judges of the cattle department con-
cluded their labors yesterday, when the fol-
lowing premiums were awarded:
Glass a. grand sweepstakes beef breeds,
graded ages-First premium, H. F. Browne,
Minneapolis; second premium, Wallace Es-
tell, Estell, NO.; third premium, T. F. B.
Sothem. Chillicothe, Mo-; fourth premium E.
Reynolds & Sons, Prophetstown. ILL., Highly
commended George s. Redhead, Des Moines,
10. Commended w. A. McHenry, Denni-
son. 10.
Breeders sweepstakes for herd of six cat
tle two years old and under, owned and
bred by exhibitor-First premium, Wallace
Estell Estell, Mo-; second premium T. F. B.
Sothem, Chillicothe, Mo-; third premium
H. F. Browne. Minneapolis, Mimi: fourth
premium, E. Reynolds & Sons, Prophets
town, Ill.
Glass SO, grand sweepstake diplomas-Rey-
noids & Sons of Prophetstown, Ill. were
awarded diplomas for the best male and
female of any age of Aberdeen Angus cat
tie.
T. F. B. Sothem, of Chillicothe, Mo-, was
awarded diplomas for the best male and fe-
male of any age Of Hereford cattle.
This closes the premiums and diplomas
awarded to competitors for the year 1896.
The prize animals were paraded- over the
grounds after the awards, and showed to
what perfection cattle can be raised. The
year of 1896 will be considered red-letter
year by the cattle department of the fair,
and reflects the highest credit to those hav-
ing the Management in hand.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-09-06
LOOP, BUT NO EXPRESS LINE.
Such the Dictum of the AIdermanic
Street Committee.

Such the Dictum of the AIdermanic
Street Committee.
The committee on streets of the
board of aldermen met yesterday after
noon and disposed of the ordinance
granting the street railway company
the right to operate an interurban ex-
press line on University avenue in con-
sideration for it's consent to construct
loop to Broadway. Six out of the
seven members of the committee were
present, and by unanimous vote it
was decided to submit an adverse re-
port on the ordinance.
In accordance with the Instructions
Of the committee at its previous meet
ing the subcommittee, with the as
sistance of the corporation attorney
submitted substitute ordinance
directing the street railway company
to construct a loop to Broadway, by
laying a track on Eighth street from
Robert street to Broadway and max
ing the connections necessary to COM
plete such Broadway loop The ordf-
nance further requires the street rail-
way company to operate it's interurban
Grand avenue, Como avenue and Ham,
line cars around the Broadway loop.
A motion that the substitute ordi-
nance be recommended to pass was
carried by a vote of four to two, Ala.
Kenny. Larsen, Kaldunski and Lin
dahl voting in the affirmative Aid.
Shepard and Bell voted mo- as they
preferred to have the ordinance sub
mitted without any recommendation.
The ordinance granting to E. e..
Mcdonald and others the franchise to
construct within the city, the terminal
lines for the proposed electric lines to
Superior, Wis, was laid over until next
Thursday night at 1880. when the COM
mittee will consider it at a special
meeting to be held in the council
chamber.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-09-06
THE SAINT PAUL GLOBE SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 8, 1895.

Celery. Golden. self-blanching-w. A. wes-
singer. third
Celery. White Plume-w A. wessinger.
Corn Sweet. Green Ear Aug. Whitman.
first; w A. Wessinger, second; B. T. Hoyt,
third.
Cucumber-W. A. Messenger, nrst; Ru-
dolph Knaphe.de, second: G. A. Smith, third.
Egg plant-W. A. Wessinger. third.
INSTRUMENTATION Macintosh, first; w.
K. Coffin, Hamline, second.
Onions, red-H. l.. +. Wits Minneapolis,
first; W. A. Wessinger. second; Aug. Witt
man, third.
oils, first; W. A. Wessnger, second; Aug
Whitman, third.
Onions, whte-w. A. Wessinger, first; r..
7, hoyt second; Aug Whitman, third L,-,.
er. second; Aug. Whitman, third.
Peas in green pod-W. A. Wessinger, Sec
ond; Aug Whitman, third.
Peas Canadian Golden Vine or Prussian
Blue-Aug Whitman. first.
Potatoes, early-Henry Busse. Minneapolis,
first; W. A Wessinger, second; Aug Witt
Potatoes, Hatchery Busse. first; Aug
Whitman. second; w. A. Wessinger. third.
Pumpkins-W. A. Wessinger, frst f. J..
Lloyd, second and third
Radishes. winter-Aug Whitman, first w.
third.
Rutabagas-B. T. Hoyt first W. A. Wess-
niger, second; o. A. Smith, third.
Squash, early-Seddon Wilcox. Hugo, first
O. A. Smith, second; w. A. Wessinger third.
Squash late-W. A. Wessinger. first; W. E.
Coffin second
sunhowers-w e. Coffin. first; w. A. wess-
niger, second.
Turnips, white-o. A. Smith. frst B. t.
Hoyt, second.
Tomatoes-w. E. Coffin, first; w. A. Wess-
niger second.
Observation-Disclosures Macintosh. first; w.
A Wessinger, second.
FARM EXHIBITS.
Display of grains, grasses, vegetables, frui $
and other agricultural and horticultural prod
ucts, by any farmer in Minnesota-O. A.
Smith, Clearwater, first John Prescott,
Princeton, second; w. A. Wessinger, Mer-
riam Park, third: Rudolph Knapheide. ST.
Paul, fourth; w. P. Hubs. Madison. fifth.