The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-02-27

i'm accepting their respective dooms ANA
teur criminals ask me TO revise their work
and TO suggest improvements.
'All this is the cruel result of an accident
for i am not that kind OF man. Had nv
work been the same, done over the signature
OF Taxpayer. or 'Vox Populi, how different
might have been the result. Seeking, as I
am, in my poor, weak way, TO make folly ap-
pear foolish, and 10 make men better BY
speaking disrespectfully OF their errors, do
not deservecto. be regarded. even by strang-
ers, as te4gh or a terror, but rather as q
plain, laH-abiding American citizen. who
begs leave to subscribe himself, yours, for
EDGAR WILSON NYE."
In politics Bill Nye was q Republican. bue
he never let his political creed show itself
in mis- writings. In fact, Democrats are the
largest readers OF his books
One day asked him what ne thought OF
the Democratic party.
THE Democratic party ne repeated
The Democratic party? Why, Democrat
keeps our drug store over there. and when
cook stove and her father went after q
package of Russia salve. this genial drug
store Democrat gave her a box OF Rough
on Rats What the Democratic party
needs said Mr.. Nye, sis not so much a
new platform as carload of assorted
brains that some female seminary had lefc
over
An Englishman was talking with Mr..
Nye in Laramie about English and Amer
lean humor.
I'm nv opinion" said the Engiishman.
1.-The humor of the United States. II closely
examined. will be found TO depend, IN .
great measure, the ascendancy which
the principle of utility has gained over the
imaginations of rather imaginative peo-
pie"
my best knowledge. the hunor of England.
If closely examined. will be found just
about ready TO drop over the picket fence
into the arena, but never quite making con-
nections. If we scan me English literary
horizon will find the humortSt Up a tall
tree. depending from a sharp knot thereof
hxv fha ell nl Of hi lie fS frrU~
out of sight at the time you look I'm that
direction. He always has man working in
MS PlaS esc " The son man ybo works d
and newly pegging joke that has recently
been sent in by the foreman for repairs"
Mr.. Nye introduced me to my Laramie
audience. His introduction was like this:
Ladies and Gentlemen: ] am glad that
nounce that We are TO have an interesting
lecture on lying by one of the most dis
tnguished-crhere was a pause. for Mr..
inshed, and the audience roared with de-
light, so that IL was some time before the
sentence was concluded) lecturers from the
East"
Mr.. Nye continued 1--WE have our ord-
nary country liars in Laramie. but Mr..
everyday liars have fine record. We are
proud of them, but the uncuitured liars OF
the prairie cannot be expected to cope
@a f from the entured East and
gentlemen, permit me to introduce TO you
Eliar Perkins"
Ladies and gentlemen 1 said in reply.
II feel justly BATTERED by your Laramie
humorist's tribute to my veracity. but truly
l am not as great a liar Mr.. Nye--'
and then ] seemed TO falter. The audience
saw my dilemma and appauded. and finally
/ couldn't finish the sentence for some mo
ments, but continuing I said: II am not as
big liar as Mr.. Nye-wouid have you
think"
A day or two after this picked up the
Boomerang and read this paragraph:
when Eli Perkins passing through
Laramie he said he was travelling for his
wife's pleausre.
a. Then your wife Is with your suggested
reporter.
"'oh. no. said Ell. she is in New York."