davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-07-16
The JOKER'S BUDGET.
TESTS AND YARNS OF THE tuNN'
MEN OF THE PRESS.

FISTS AND YARNS OF THE FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Cause for Rage 50. Keeping Up win '"e
Profession --- That Settled IT, Knew
How to Keep Hotel.
CAUSE FOR RAGE.
"Wbat made that man so angry when
the horseless carriage upsctr
eve is a leather dealer, and there wasn't
any harness to cut"
KEEPING UP WITH THE PRoFEssioN'
Tired Traveller Don't yer wish yer
had bike, Weary"
Weary Walker -'Naw, Use got 'er
live IN ter the motto Of our periesh-
They toll not neither do they SPIN
THAT SETTLED IT.
Alberta-'1 see that Miriam's and MIR.
Bertwhistle's engagement is OH
Alethea-"Yes he bought a bicycle
that wasn't the same make as hers"
KNEW HOW TO KEEP A HOTEL
Great Traveler-"I never saw prettler
girls in my life than you have right mere
in this dining room waiting on tables.
sharp Hotel Keeper always get
nrettv walters. Men don't eat much
when a pretty girl is watching Them.
GOOD NAME
Fred-'I say, Camilla would be good
name for new bicycle"
Camilla? Why, that's womans
namel" =.
Fred-"Yes; but the poet sings OF
Swift Camilla, who secured along Tue
plain you know"
THE FIRST THOUGHT.
He We are imprisoned by the rising
water. There is no escape Our 1000
will soon be gone and then-then we
must die 1t will be weeks before they
find us.
She-Oh, dear! How provoking! AND
haven't a single dress fit to be found IN!
THE BASEBALL PITCHER
The famous baseball pitcher had walked
the floor with the youngest OF his family
for an hour or so. MARY" said he, III
the manager saw me now, / bet I'd get
soaked with fine
"Why ?" asked his wife, sleepily.
al don't seem to have any control OF
the bawl at all, don't"
A MALEvoLENT JOKE.
81 will now" said the scientist, 'show
Won a pcture of this fish by the new
Roentgen rays"
"And make no bones about It'll" added
the thin man in the front row.
His hoarse chuckle alone would nave
Indicated that he had worked the lecturer
with a homeless Goldfish.
TOO MUCH FOR BOTH.
'Tee. heen' staggered the caterpillar,
as he struck the summer mans neck, II
have the drop on you!"
II am inclined to think. however, ne
soliloquiAed moment after the swat
THAT that was drop too much"
INTO THE SYSTEM.
81 understand" said the new mission
airy, chat my predecessor was a stranger
when he came among you"
yes" answered the native, dreamily,
che was stranger, and we took him IN. ="
AN APPROPRIATE HYMN.
The deacon's wife had presented him
with a new. bright red tie for Sunday
wear.
The good clergyman gave out the
hymn, "Blest be the tie that binds"
Then everybody looked at the deacon
and snckered. Some people are so
foolish you know.
IN OKLAHOMA.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-07-16

IF afflicted with sore eyes DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water Druggists sell at25c.
a bottle.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-07-16
AN INCURABLE.

He walked with vague and uncertain
step, and passers noted that at intervals
he started and leaped tremblingly to one
side, as if in extreme terror. Those
whom he met regarded him pityingly and
murmured of ''St. Vitus dance" or ''loco-
motor ataxia." Others remarked
"Snakes," and smiled cruelty and mean
ingly.
But few diagnosed it correctly as case
of that insidious disease, "bicycle-do
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-07-16
REMEDY FOR CYCLONES.

"Do you ever have any cyclones in
your state? 2" asked a Texan of gentle
man from Montclair, N. j.
.'We never had but one 1t struck 6
Jersey mosquito, and after a furious
struggle the cyclone retreated to the
woods TO hide its shame. 1t never tried
it again."
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-07-16
IN OKLAHOMA.

At the Oklahoma City Convention one
of the old moss backs" who did not
like the way the energetic young chair
man was conducting matters, finally
arose, and Indignantly said to the chair
man: "Young man, was Republican
before you were born "
shut up" returned the young man,
with more vigor than politeness Il will
be Republican when you are dead. Sit
down."
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-07-16

when was engineer on old 3S we
used to make some pretty fair time. Had
some peculiar experiences then"
81 expect so; used to go so fast that
the telegraph poles ran together till they
looked like semi-transparent film along
the side of the track, didn't your"
"Well, yes Pve noticed that, but it
wasn't the strangest thing. Very often
we'd pull into station, stand there two
or three minutes, and then hear our own
whistle blowing for the crossings seven or
eight miles back up the track. OF course
we'd wait then until the sound caught
up"
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1896-07-16
TOO MUCH FOR BOTH.

The deacon's wife had presented him
with new, bright red tie for Sunday
wear.
The good clergyman gave out the
hymn. "Blest be the tie that binds"
Then everybody looked at the deacon
and snickered. Some people are so
foolish, you know.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
FIELD MONUMENT FUND.
Interest In the Bicycle Races to TAX
Place Saturday.

Interest In the Bicycle Races to Take
Place Saturday.
All the details of the bicycle meet to be
held Saturday afternoon at Columbia Field,
corner Of 18th and c streets northwest, for
the benefit Of the Eugene Field monument
fund, have been arranged. and the only
thing connected with the enterprise which
Is In doubt. is the weather. A good attend
ance is assured already, as a number of
tickets have been disposed of, although the
sale has been open but a few days. There
are number of places in the city where
the tickets are on sale, and the prices both
to the grand stand and for admission are
at popular rates.
The entries. which are in charge of Mr..
Sam Stinemetz of the Columbia Athletic
Club, have been pretty well made up and
there Is every prospect of some very good
sport when Saturday arrives. The prizes
have attracted a number of the local
cracks. and the list Of events, as made up,
assures number of interesting competi-
tions The prizes will be placed on exhibit
tion tomorrow.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
DEFEATED AND ARRESTED.
Two MisfOrtunes Befcl the High
School Boys.

The Central High School team went to
Alexandria Saturday afternoon to play the
team of the Episcopal High School of that
place. and were not only defeated, but were
arrested for utterins their class yell after
the game. The score was s to II, each side
making two touchdowns. the Episcopal
boys being fortunate to kick two goals,
while the local boys were unable to do this.
The local boys were outweighted, but put
up a good game. a tumble in the first half
losing them on an opportunity to score. The
Alexandrians made the only touchdown in
the first half and kicked goal, while in the
second half the local boys made two touch
downs, but no goals. while the E. H. 8.
team made another touchdown and goal.
While on their way to the ferry boat the
Central boys were giving their class yell
with vim. and at the wharf. while waiting
for the boat, were all placed under arrest
When Mayor Thompson heard Of the mat
ter he ordered their release The boys,
however, missed the boat. and were COM
PEELED to return to the city on the electric
cars.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
BOTH ATTENDED CHURCH.
Quiet Day Spent by the Presiden,
Candilafea

Quiet Day Spent by the Presidential
Candidates.
Yesterday the opening Of the last week
OF the campaign. found Major McKin-
ley, to all outward appearances at least
equal to as hard work as he has exper-
fenced at any time during the campaign.
He was up and around early in the morn
Ing, and In company with his brother. Alb
ner. Of New York. attended services. The
weeks program at Canton. Ohio, opens
with six delegations for Monday, fifteen for
the succeeding days of the week and a.
large number Of others only partially ar
ranged.
1t was day Of quiet and rest that VIII
nam j: Bryan spent yesterday at Jackson
vile, Ill. where for six years he prepared
nlmself for his after life. In the morning
ne attended services at State Street Pres
byterian Church. Many of the citizens of
Jacksonville waited for over an hour in
cr1er to get glimpse at the former citi-
zen When he did arrive there was q gem
eral crantng of necks, and one of the ad-
mirers OF his opponent cheered for Nc
Mr.. Bryan spent the day at the home
OF Dr. Hiram K. Jones, where he lived
curing his residence in Jacksonville There
were few callers, but outside the house a
large crowd gathered a-ld stared at the few
visitors who were admitted to grasp the
hand and exchange compliments Of the day
with the candidate.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
Local Batting Records.
The following are the batting records of
GEoRGETowN COLLEGE FOOT BALL
First of the Interclnss Games Played
Yesterday Afternoon.

First of the Interclass Games Played
Yesterday Afternoon.
The first of the interclass foot ball games
at Georgetown University took place yes
terday afternoon on the campus between
the teams Of the class Of 81 and the class
Of 1900, or 90 as the varsity boys term
them. It was prettily played game, and
the result was a surprise to all. 1t was
expected that the freshmen would beat
the sophomores badly. not even permitting
them to score and when the '.sophs" won
all Of the students we're glad, with the ex-
ception Of the freshman class, and their
spirits were down low.
In the first half of the game Mcintyre
and Murren of the freshmen succeeded
in making a touchdown each, though no
goal was Kicked in either instance. The
sophomores managed to get a touchdown
in the first half, r. Walsh carrying the
ball through; no goal was made. In their
half Of the second the. freshmen played a
defensive game. The "sophs" gave a snap
py exhibition, and at 10 time was the ball
in this half on their fifteen yard line The
freshmen seemed to delight in trying to
rush the center, while the class of 80
team varied this style by playing around
the ends. T. Cullen made the only touch
down of this half. He secured the ball
from McColgan, while the freshmen had
the ball, and after a run Of about thirty
yards made a touchdown. Though there
was some objection the score was allowed
The game was witnessed by about 500
people. The line I'D and score
Evening star., 1896-10-26
THE CLOSING RACE MEET.
Cycling for Records ut the Athletic
Park.

Cycling for Records Mt the Athletic
Park.
The closing race meet at the Interna-
tional Athletic Park Saturday afternoon
was witnessed by only few hundred
spectators While the rain Of the previous
night had little effect on the track, the
stiff wind coming almost from the west
had chilling effect on the spectators and
a more disastrous effect on the riders, pre-
venting anything like fast time in the
records. ALI things considered, however,
while the time of the open races was COM
paratively slow, the showing In the tack
records was very good. The competition
for the track records in some instances
was very brisk. and until broken will re-
main as the records for the balance of the
year at least.
There was only one spill at the meet.
Otis H. Miller falling on the third turn of
the third lap. fortunately not injuring him.
self badly; The mile o4en was run in two
heats, and in the final tMudd finished first,
Throop second, Schade third and Bali
fourth. Schade claimed that he was fouled
on the third and fourth turns. and the
referee, after hearing the umpires. dis
qualified Mudd This did not give general
satisfaction. and better results could have
been obtained II the race had bsen run
over again. By some it was claimed that
Throop did the fouling. In this race the
CAsdHA VI Sluil b WQeel came Dut did not
throw him. and he coasted all the way in
from the end Of the backstretch. William
Foley, the trainer at Georgetown Universi-
" rhe searanu summary: .ae mens ii
First event-One mile, novice. Edwin S.
Gee won; Lang Shearer, second. Time,
3.O5 3-5.
Second event-One-thiri of a mile, track
record; amateur; uapaced; flying start. A.
G. Moran. AZ As, won; B. T. Wrenn, A As,
second, and George s. Ball, 43 1-5. third.
Third event-One mile, open; in two heats
and final; three to qualify in each heat.
First heat-W. F. Throop won; H. W.
Clum, second. and 6. E. Smith, third.
Time, $40 1-5., Second heat-T. N. Mudd
won; Fred. Schade. second. and George
Ball, third. Time 3.O7. Final heat-W. F.
rEroop won; Fred Schade, second, and
George Ball, third. Time, ala. T. N.
Mudd finished first, but was disqualified
for foul riding.
Fourth event-One-quarter mile. track
record; amateur, unpaced. flying start A.
c. Moran, 81 So. won; B. T. Wrenn, 30 3-5,
second. and George Ball. 30 1-5 third.
Fifth event-One mile, tandem, for the
championship of the District Of Columbia.
Smith and Greer won; DAILY and Leaeker,
second. Time, 3.16. i,t
Sixth event-Match tandem race, for one
mile. Shearer and Hebbard won; Smith
and Day, second. Time. 3.21.
Seventh event-Two-mile track record,
Evening star., 1896-10-26
DIR. TEMPLE SELECTED,
The Bishop of London Appointed
Archbishop of Canterbury.

The Bishop of London Appointed
Archbishop of Canterbury.
The Right Rev. Frederick Temple. bishop
of London, has been appointed archbishop
of Canterbury and primate Of all England
In succession of the late Most Rev. Edward
White Benson.
The Right Rev. Frederick Temple, DID,,
bishop of London, is the son of an officer
in the army. He was born November 30
1921, was educated at the Grammar School
at Tiverton and proceeding to Oxford be-
came scholar of Balliol College and took
his degree of b. A. in 1912. He was elected
fellow and mathematical tutor Of his col
lege, and having been ordained in 1916 was
appointed principal of the training college
at Kneller Hall, near Twickenham, In 1S4S
This post he resigned in 1855. and having
held an inspectorship of schools during
the interval was appointed, on the resig-
nation of DR.. Coulburn, in 1868, head mas
ter of Rugby School.
DIR. Temple, who was chaplain to the
queen. gained some notoriety in 1850 as the
author Of the first Of the seven ESSAYS
and Reviews" which caused so much con-
troversy soon after their appearance. At
the general election of 1853 DR.. Temple took
an active part in Warwickshire in sup
port of Mr.. Gladstone's measure for the
disestablishment of the Irish church, and
the premier nominated him to the bishopric
of Exeter, in succession to the late DIR.
Philpotts, an appointment which caused
COHSlueTdDle COiIuOtlOu III clerical circles.
The confirmation of Dr.. Temples election
took place December 8, 1862 at the Church
of st. Mary-le-Bow, Cheapside when
Bishop Trower, as a representative of a
portion of the clergy who were opposed
to DIR. Temple because he was the author
of one Of the Essays and Reviews" in
struoted counsel to oppose the election.
Counsel was accordingly heard on both
sides, and DR.. Temples election was con-
firmed by the vicar general.
DR.. Temple received Episcopal consecra-
ton at Westminster December 21 1869 to-
gether with the bishops-elect Of Bath and
Wells and Of the Falkland Islands DR.
Temple published Sermons Preached at
Rugby Chapel in 1S5S'60'' in 1851. In April.
1858. he was elected hampton lecturer at
Oxford for the ensuing year. On the death
Of DR.. jackson, in January. 1885, Dr. Tenn
pie was appointed bishop Of London, and
was succeeded at Exeter by DR.. Bicker-
steth,
Evening star., 1896-10-26
MONEY AND PRICES.
What Is Said of the Consular ReDOr
at Democratic Headauarfera.

What Is Snid of the Consular ReDort
at Democratic Headquarters.
The special consular report on the SUBJ
ject of money and prices in foreign coun-
tries now being distributed by the State
Department is proving to be a thorn
In the flesh Of the democratic congressional
committee. Speaking of this publication
today, Gen. Walker said:
This report was gotten out just before
the election for the purpose of showing
that prices Of labor in gold countries are
greater than in silver countries.
While the book will doubtless be made
use of by the republicans for the purpose
of strengthening the gold standard, 1t can
be readily answered by showing that the
conditions In other respects of these two
classes of countries are such that no COM
parison Of wages prevailing In them can be
made" Nv
Evening star., 1896-10-26

amateur. unpaced. standing start. George
Ball, OLA 3-5, and B. T. Wrenn, 6.14 3-5.s,..s
Eighth event-Two-thirds Of a mile. open.
Fred Schade won: H. w. Clunn, second
ana =. L. Wilson. third. Time, LBS 2-5.
Ninth event-One mile, consolation race.
A. c. Moran won: B. T. Wrenn, second.
Time, 3.26 2-5
Tenth event-Five-mile track record, n.y.
ing start. unpaced; B. T. Wrenn; II min
utes.
Eleventh event-One-mile tandem match
race-Won by Lang Shearer and Elbert Heb
bard from Eddie Smith and Frank Day.
Time 30 Oh
Evening star., 1896-10-26
Children's Hosiery.

Goodness rules here, too.
We strive our best to give you
all the quality possible.
If you will do a little COM
pairing then you can see how
much to your advantage it is
to put your confidence in our
stock of Children's Hose.
Boys Fast Black Heavy Ribbed
Bicycle Hose. with double knees. heels
and toes-sizes to 1O-lSc. a pair. 2
pains for 25c.
Children's Fast Black Fine Ribbed
Hose. with double knees, heels and
toes-sizes 8 to Sk-13c. a pair-2
for 25c.
Children's Fast Black Fine Ribbed
Hose-wfth double knees, heels and
toes-sizes to 91a-25c pair.
Misses Plain Plack Cotton Uoss
with double heels and toes-25c. a pair.
Cfldren's Fast Black Fine Ribbed
Hose. with solid White feet-25c- and
3Sc. a pair.
Gildren's Black and White Fine
Ribbed Cashmere Hose-sizes to a
2oc., 35c., 39c. and SOC a pair.
Children's Ribbed Silk Hose. I'm LIGHT
Blue, Cream and Pink-sizes 4 to 5n-
50c. a pair.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
An Epvvorth Program,

The literary department Of the Epworth
League Of the Metropolitan M. E. Church.
corner AZ and c streets northwest, has
planned for series Of evenings with en-
trent Americans" Tuesday evening will be
an evening with Washington Irving. Fiji
teen minutes will be devoted to a short re-
view of current events Followin1 ths.
there will be papers on the life, works ard
contemporaries Of Irving, readings from
his works and music. Meetings win I,e
held every other Tuesday evening during
the winter in the lecture room OF the
church at o'clock.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
YOUR Choice, 25c.

Fast Black Cotton Hose, with double
soles and toes and high spliced heels
&c. a pair.
Russet. Slate and Balbriggan Hose,
with double soles, toes and high
spliced heels-25c. a pair.
Bultriggan Hose, with double heels,
soles and toes-25c. q pair.
Fast Black, with striped and plain
top Boot Patter s-25c. a pair.
Fast Black Cos ton Hose, with solid
= white feet-25c. a pair.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
THE POLITICAL SITUATION.
Forecast as to the Completion of tn,
Next House.


Next House.
The New York Herald In its issue of yes
terday published an exhaustive summary
of the political situation. with forecast
of the probable result of the election The
congressional situation was given particu-
lar attention. and the probable outcome
vas summarized as follows:
Number of representatives in Fifty fifth
Congress, 357.
Number Of republicans. 224; number OF
democrats. 127; number of populists, g.
Congressman who will vote for sound
money. 215; Congressman who will vote for
free silver, 142.
Representation in Fffty-fourth Congress:
Republicans. 243; deWocrats, 1O6; populists
:; free silver, 1.
Inc table from which this result was
summarized was as follows:
Probable financial
Evening star., 1896-10-26
Other Estimates.

The New York Times also published q
forecast of the probable political complex
ion of the House. but arrived at differ
ent conclusion. The Times claimed the as
sured election Of 1874 republicans, 63 demo-
Gratis and populists, while it classed II
districts as doubtful. The Times doubtful
list included IA districts Of Missouri, II In
Pennsylvania, in Tennessee, in Indiana
and the remainder in scattering states
Ihe Philadelphia Press yesterday pub
lished statement claiming the election of
224 republican Congressman
Evening star., 1896-10-26
Choice for zgc

Fast Black Silk-plated Hose, with
double heels and toes. .75c. a pair.
Fast Black Opera Length Hose, with
double soles, heels and toes-75c. a
pair.
cashmere Hose. with silk-spliced
soles and toes and high spliced heels
15c. pair.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
Your Choice, ;35c.
8 pairs for ST..

Fast Black Cotton Hose, with double
soles and toes and high spliced heels
Sic. a pairs for 81.
Fast Black Cotton Hose, with White
soles, heels and toes-35c. a pair
3 for 81.
Balbriggan Hose, with double coles,
heels and toes-35c. pairs for 81.
Lisle Thread Dropped-stitch Boot
Patterns. with fast Black feet and
colorod tops-S5c. pairs for 81.
Fast Black Lisle Thread Hose, with
White heels and toes-35c. a pairs for
81.
Evening star., 1896-10-26

Glass of 90. Position. Class Of 1900
Taylor. Center. Horiean
Applegarth. Left guard. Moore
Byrne. Right guard. English
Beall. Right tackle. .......... .Metcalf
Delehant. .........Left tackle. .....P. Head
Nagel.. end. Mcintyre
Jarin. Quarter back. .......W. Fleming
Lynch. Quarter back. .Laughlin
T. Cullen. Right half back. .Mulligan
R. Walsh. Left half back. ...... .McColgan
F. Cullen. back. .Murren
SubstitutesLClass of 80. johnson, O'Shea
and Parker; class of 1900, Smith, Cleary
and Horsey. Touchdowns-Walsh, Cullen,
Mcintyre and Murren. Goals-R. Walsh
Time of halves-Twenty minutes. Score
Glass Of 90, 10; class Of 1900. 8. Umpire
Mr.. Green, class of '93 Referee-J. Col
Inns, class Of 'I. Linesmen-Messrs Dixon
and O'Leary, class Of '98.
The next game will be played Wednes-
day Afternoon between the class of '98 and
the class Of ~, the two teams between
whom the interclass championship is
thought to lie. The game will be called at
3 o'clock, and as no admission is charged
a large crowd Of spectators Is expected.
In the forenoon yesterday the All-Preps
played against the Scrubs. the latter team
being composed of most Of the members of
the team Of the class Of 9S. The Scrubs
were the better team and won by a score of
8 to o.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
ENDED IN A TIE.
The C0lumbias and the Fort Monroe
Omcers Have q Sharp Game

The foot ball team of the Columbia A.h-
letic Club played the first game of the sea-
son Saturday afternoon at Columbia Field
with the eleven picked from the officers at
Fort Monroe, who, with their rooters and
friends arrived in town by boat the morn
Ing OF the day Of the game. There was q
good crowd on hand to witness the game,
Evening star., 1896-10-26
The Grave. Divorce Case.

Answering the suit for divorce filed
against him the 18th of last month by Jo-
sephine E. Graves. David E. Graves to-
day not only denied his wifes accusations
of cruelty. but. in a cross-bill, charged her
with having committed adultery with one
Benjamin Hicks and one ]. E. Spaulding.
alias Irving. October and November of last
year. Mr.. Graves, therefore, asks that his
wffe's petition be denied and that he be
granted the divorce. He also states that
he Is unable to Day her the alimony and
Counsel fees allowed by the court He IS
represented by Attorney Thos. C. Taylor
Sigmund Hayes & Co.. wholesale notion
dealers. at No. ia st. Clair street. Cleve-
land, Ohio, has assigned to Julius W.
Deutsch. 1t Is estimated that the liabil-
tiles will amount to $4,000 and assets $780,
600.
Evening star., 1896-10-26

Heals man and beast. Salvation on.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
for ;39c.

Heavyweight Fist Black Cotton
Hose. with double soles and toes and
high spliced heels-39c. a pair.
Fast Black Cotton Hose. with natural
wool feet-39c. a pair.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
for SOC.

Plain and Dropped-stitch Silk-plated
Hose, in assorted shades of Gray-$1
nnd 81 .35 quality for soc. a pair.
Fast Black Cotton Hose, with solid
White feet-50c. a pair.
Fast Black Cotton Hose, with White
soles, heels and toes-5Oc. a pair.
Lisle Thread Boot Patterns, with
solid and Dresden tOps-J0c. pair.
Plaid Iisle Thread Hose, with double
heels and toes-5Oc. a pair.
Balbriggun Hose. with double soles,
heels and toes-5Oc. pair.
Fast Black and Natural-colored
Cashmere Hose. with double heels and
toes-5Oc. q pair.
Evening star., 1896-10-26
Extra SiZesin Ladies' Hose

A specially with us
Extra Size Balbriggan Hose, with
double soles. heels and toes-25c., 35c.
and SOC. a pair.
Fast Black Extra Size Hose. with
double soles and toes and high spliced
heels-5Oc.