The sun., 1896-10-04
INCES DOW MALL.
THE EMIsADHEHTURE OF THE MODEL
CITIZEN OF PAREoR CITY.

dignihod citizens of Parlor City. He never
drinks, ho never smokes, and IL Is his Arm con.
viction that Hades IL yawninR for every man,
woman, and child that plays cards. He is pill.
lar OF the local Methodist Church, has publicly
denounced dancing an invention of the
devil, progressive euohro and pedro parties as
creased poles-tu the realm of Satan. and trolley
parties as an even more sinful diversion than
any of the other forms OF amusement to which
he ts opposed. Ono might imagine from this
that Mr.. James Inch was an unpopular man
In Parlor City. Such, however, is not the case.
The Inhabitants point him out to strangers az
their model citizen, and can't say enough in
praise of him. That is because Mr.. Inch ls a
sterling business man and so generous and char
liable that his.-fellow townsmen willing TO
overlook his radical views on things in. the
amusement line.
Mr.. Inch had IN experience some weeks
ago that came pretty near knocking down with
one blow the splendid reputation he has built
up for himself in Parlor City. II was most
unfortunata experience for Mr.. Inch. but it
provided amusement for his fellow citizens
for days aftsrward. and some of them are not
through lauHhnE yet.
One bright sunny morning. early in August,
Mr.. Inch boarded u train bound for Parlor
City nt q small waw station. Eome twenty miles
from his home- He had gone out there the
night before on business, had missed tho last
train back. and q night on corn husk mat
tress in the local tavern had rufiied him about
as much as he had ever been RULED in his
life Mr.. Inch Ii ad not bcen in the train FIVE
minutes when he hard frightful racket In
the car behind him, and on inQuiring OF the
conductor what 1t INFANT, was told that both
of the rear cars were NIL of lunatics, who were
being transferred from New York to the State
asylum on the hill back of Parlor City.
They're In charge .,f keepers, all right"
said the condutor. but they get excited every
now and then. and tel you tho keepers have
their hsnds full. Lor! but they do curse!"
"Do you suppose could go look at them?"
asked Mr.. Inch, who Immediately made up
man TO go and speak a few words OF admonition
to these men. -.
Dunno" was the conductors laconic re-
sponse. You'll have to ask the keepers"
Mr.. Inch rose from his seat and started back.
He decided that he would not ask permission to
do what was his plain duty. He felt that the
keepers would refuse him admission to the
car, SO he made up his mind TO slide In I'M
observed, take a seat AMI watch his chance to
distribute advice to the unfortunate. 1t was
not difficult piece of work, as the keepers
were pretty busy When Mr.. Inch opened the
door and walked in. nnC they didn't notice him
at oil. He gradually worked his way to the
middle of the car un aoticed in the bowling
crowd of wild-eyed nun, and ensconced him
self in seat beside q, re1-beaded individual
who was swinging his arms round in most
reckless fash Ton and singing in shrill voice:
This is my story, this is my song.
Praislns. the Saviour all the day long.
Over and over again the man sang the coup
let, sandwiching it with strings of oaths
which ssnt chils chasing each other up and
down Mr.. Inchtt spinal column. He at
tempted to talk wi III the man, but he might 8
well have tried to c onverse with a log of wood.
Others with whom he started conversations
looked at him 81 blan xiv that he soon realized
it was hopeless tas K. and settling do yn in
his seat, he resolved to say no more.
>..When we get TO Pa clor City" he figured to
himseif, ju st We ut ,untu they get this
crew out OF III car, ant. chen I'll go out myself
and 60 home"
Mr. Inch's resolusi -i as the result Of little
speculation as to what would happen to him
II the keepers discovered that he had entered
the car and mingled with this crew of violent
and irresponsible men.
At the station in Parl'or City on the Same
morning that Mr.. Inch boarded the train
twenty miles away stood fifteen keepers from
the State asylum waiting for the consign-
ment of fanatics from New York. With them
WIS young Iolalh, On "nOec SnOuluerS reSt-
cd the responsibility for the ssfe transporta-
tion'of the lunatics from the station TO the
asylum. Dr. Blank was worried. II was the
arstlexpeditio of this kind he had.commanded,
and he was nightly afraid that something
would go.wrong. Only month before he had
received his appointment TO the.asylum. and an
escape or revolt due to lack OF proper precau-
.cns wepld ho mean ne the tho Loss Of his
In and a keeper jumped tOm The stops o.
car. touched his hat. and announced. that all
"a hundred altogether. believe," the Doc
s'Yes, sir, so in each car" enid the keeper
We'll. march them out as soon as you can"
said Dr. Blank. and he hauled out notebook
and prepared to cheek SIs ,& Ht & ,he men US they
drew a deep breath Of relief when the hftieth
man stepped to the platform.
Now for the other car he said cheerily,
and the keepers commenced to hustle the un-
Mr.. Inch crouched low in his seat and was
passed by. DR.. BLANK. notebook in hand, sang
Q man to the platform and called: That's all"
There must be another" said the Doctor.
.You counted wrong" said the keeper
mo. I'm sure I'm right. but III count them
again." said DR.. Blank. and he did so, with tho
One man was missing. There could be no
doubt about that. Tue car had only yielded
''Search tho car" called out tho Doctor, and
the keeper proceeded TO do so.
Tho first man he encount tered was Mr. Inch,
who, having made up his mind that sufficient
time had elapsed TO render 1t safe for him to
leave the car, had risen and was making for
the door.
Hello" exclaimed the keeper, how did you
get herei'
IT just walked in from the other car" re-
piled Mr.. Inch with dignity.
Didn't see a man hide himself around this
car anywhere. did your"
Now 1t happened that some minutes, before
the train reached Parlor City the RED. .heade ed
floor and cuddled himself up under the seat.
M mao sby to ao stay M In ed
long; To, tell Of this incident, however, was
TO admit that he had been in the for some
time, which would scarcely do, SO he simply
said in a tone OF mild astonishment:
''See o man hide himself? How ridiculous"
and the keeper. impressed by his tone passed
by aud started searching at the upper end
OF the car.
Mr. Iuch continued toward the door. reached
the platform, and stepped slowly down; Mr.,
Inch's personal appearance not what IL
usually WAS A night I'm n country hotel with