davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
MUMOR OF THE DAY.

All the worlds a stage, but many
of the actors are counting railroad
ties.
The easiest way to prove that you
can rot play the violin, is to play it.
Puck.
Your platonic friend is apt to get
real mad if you propose to any one
se.-Puck.
Nobody ever saw n woman use
hammer to drive q tack when flat
iron was near.-Texas Sitter.
Never tell your best friend any
thing that wouldn't look well in big
sized type in q newspaper. -Atchison
Globe.
He-"If there is anything a woman
enjoys it is being a martyr" ." She
"And how willing some man is to help
her enjoy herself that way. Indians
polls Journal.
When man says that his wife
should have consulted HIM before
certain steps, he means she should
have given him q chance to object. -
Atchison Globe.
Miss Smashum 81 don't care for
men; in fact, I've already said NO to
seven of them" Miss Comely-"In-
deedl What were they selling?
Adams Freeman.
"My family" said Miss Antique,
"came over with the Pilgrims on the
Mayhower." "Did they really?" ex-
claimed Hicks. "How very interest
ingl And were You seasick ?"-Har.
per's Bazaar.
Fenderson-"You say that man is
deaf mute and that he has nm impedi-
ment in his speech. Pray, how eau
that be?" Fogg-"Very easily. A
few months ago he lost two fingers by
q buzz saw. boston Transcript.
Teacher-''This wicked KING Henry
VIII. then had his unfortunate Queens
head cut off. =" Johnnie-'T guess /
know why he cut her head off, teacher. 1"
"Why, Johnnie?" "'Cause sho wore a
high hat !"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Crematorium OlRcial-"We have
both the Italian and French systems
in vogue here; which would you pIe-
fer for the late lamented" Widow
"rhe French, oh, decidedly tho
French, as my poor husband (sobs)
could never tolerate italian cooking"
Doth sob in unison. )-Moonshine.
Mr.. De Style-"Why, my dear, I'm
glad to see you so composed. When
l left this morning you were weeping
and wailing and tearing your hair be-
cause Fido was sick" Mrs De Style
-"Well, you see, just after you left
Mrs. Tiptop came in and told me that
dogs of Fido's breed were going out
of fashion. New York Weekly.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
ROmance Of GeneraI (Irant,s Grnndson.

Algernon Sartoris, the grandson of
General Grant and the eldest child of
Nellie Grant Sartoris, is being educated
at Oxford. He came to America last
summer to spend his vacation with his
mother. At Narragansett Pier he was
much taken with a young society bud
nearly his own age. His mother would
not hear of marriage so early, and the
lad OF twenty years went back to Eng
land disconsolate, but hopeful. Not
long ago he received discouraging
news. He became jealous about the
attentions shown the girl by society
men, and young Sartoris did not wait
for his mothers consent to leave
school, nor for remittances. He had
money enough to pay his passage to
America, and he came. In fact, it is
reported that ho came in the steerage
and concealed his identity. He ap-
peared on the scene rather unex-
pectedly, and week or more of visit
ing soothed his troubled spirit, and he
went back to school, where he is now.
New Orleans Picayune.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

DIR. Brown, of st. Louis, was walk.
ing home late ono night when he was
accosted by footpad. "Gimme your
money" said the thief. As quick as
thought the doctor turned and in an
offended tone said: "Whnt are you
doing over here2 Go ON the other
side of the street; I'm working this
side myself" With muttered apology
for his breach of etiquette the would
be robber vanished in the darkness.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
New Lands to Explore.

Sir W. Martin Conway, OF London,
who reminds the world that the IN
terror of the main island of Spitzber.
gen, off Norway, has never been ex-
plored, hopes to take a party next
summer TO put an end 20 this state of
things. Mr.. Trevor -Battye and four
others will probably go with him.
The island is penetrated by fiords, aud
no part is more than twenty-five miles
from the sea. The explorers will
therefore cross from ford to ford
with a light load of provisions ON lee
land ponies, revictualing at each ford
from n steamer which must follow
them by sea.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

William d. Howells presided at q
dinner given in New York City to
Stephen Crane, tho young author
whose reputation has become interna-
tional in a few months. "The Red
Badge of Courage" was spoken of re-
Gently as having placed its writer in
the position of the "Rudylrd Kipling
of the American Army" Yet Mr..
Crane tells us. adds the Sun, that he
got his notions OF warfare on the foot
ball field. He never saw a field of
battle. For the matter of that neither
did Kiplirg. Tho best descriptions OF
carnage and bloody struggle have been
written by men who evolved them out
of their inner consciences. This was
so with Boyle, Carlyle, Balzac. The
fact Is that the man who is on bat
tlefield sees SO little OF what is going
on that if he wrote down his actual
experiences they would not be strik.
ing or convincing, Even Tolstoy, in
his moro effective work, described a
good deal more than what he had
actually experienced.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

Richard Atkinson, tho last OF tho
'potwallopers," has just died at Pom
tefract, England, at the age of ninety
seven. Tho potwallopers wero legis-
lated out of existence by the reform
act of 1882; they were the men who
"boiled their own pot, that is, earned
their own living and were not charge
on the parish. and who il they resided
for six months in borough, either as
housoholdors or dodgers, were entitled
to a voice at Parliamentary elections.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
Catching Cold.

A great deal of lung trouble, con.
sumption and throat difficulties are
chargeablo directly to the habit oi
laughing and talking on going out
from heated audience rooms. People
sit for hours in warm rooms, then 90
out suddenly into the cold air. They
are in high spirits and naturally in
clined to chatter and laugh, often
keeping this mp for q long timo. Tho
sudden reducing of the temperature of
the lungs by the enormous Inhalation
of very cold air is productive % con.
gestion and chills lnnumerable. Il is
declared by physician who has made
a study OF this subject that if people
could be induced TO keep their mouths
shut on going ont OF heated rooms
into cold atmosphere there would be
fewer pulmonary and throat troubles
and fewer colds and coughl. People
should gradually accustom their lunga
to the cold, rarely speaking for the
first few minutes of their out-ol-door
trip. To the thoughtloss this looks
like a small matter. but on i. may de
pend health, happineg3 aad long life.
New York Ledger.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

The New York Department of Edu.
cation has hit upon plan of circulat.
ing useful books in all the school dis.
tricts of the State, which has worked
well in practice. Small libraries,
packed in n suitable case, are sent to
nny recognized teacher or school on
application, fee of S3 being charged
fer fifty books and So for 100, cost of
transportation inclnded. Out of H.
900 books sent out last year only one
was lost, and that was paid for, Very
few volumes have been damaged, al.
though each library averages 300
readers.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
A SPRING SONG.

The meadow dreams Of violcts-a bird is on
the wing,
And the sunlight's strcamin', dreamin' where
tho honeysucl,les swing;
Tho vines are looldn' brighter on the old
porch there at home,
An the cattle bells are ringin' an vito
the daisies foam.
No frost-nakesi in the burrows, the turf is
warm an sweet
Listen-isten, listen an you'll hear tho
worlds heart beat;
with soft, carcssin' fingers in winters locks
o. gray.
The spring has coaxed him to a smile an
kissed his gloom away!
Frank L. Stanton.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
pAR To ATH1ErIc supREMAcY.

Coach Ito college athletel Your
muscles seem to be habby and your
whole system needs toning mp. Are
you drinking anything2"
Athlete-"Not a drop"
Coach-"Then you must be smok
ing too much"
Athlete-"No; don't smoke at all. "
Coach-"StudyingT
Athlete-"Er-yes-a little"
Coach Gndignantly)-"You've got
to stop that Do you want to lose the
gameT'-University Courier.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
A States Odd Advantage.

"rhe Hancock statue will have one
advantage over the other equestrian
statues in this city," remarked an
artist, who had just emerged from the
canvassed inclosure where it is now
being Assem- bled, sin that 1t will have
no recesses or other places in which
birds can build nests. Personally, /
enjoy seeing sparrows building their
spring nests in our equestrian statues,
but it is not regarded rs artistic, and
the birds will be boycotted, as it were.
by this statue. - Washington Star
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
HIS PRACTICAL EYE.

"It's too bad" remarked the agent
for the circus, "that they put that
wooden expanse away up there on the
roof of the new postoflice."
'It seems like false economy"
Economy 1t struck me as waste
of material. If they hadn't put it away
up there where nobody can see it, it
would have been splendid place to
post show bills. Washington Star.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
SURE TO BE EFFEcTIYE.

Sometimes" said the merchant, "I
feel like the poet who wanted a lodge
in some vast wilderness. l yearn for
solitude and silence"
"Well," replied his friend, sym
patheticallY, SITS an expensive taste
to crafty. But you might start in by
taking your advertisement out of the
newspapers. Washington Star.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

Ransom-"Don't you think that
SPEEDING talks too muchp called at
his house last evening, and for two
mortal hours he talked, without my
being able to get in a word"
Miller-"But you will pardon me if
I do not see in your experience any
reason to think that SPEEDING talks too
much. Boston Transcript.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

John Swinton, of tho New York Sun,
recently declared that over every
American writer hangs the fear of the
editorial blue pencil, and that not un-
ill mon dare to be themselves and not
tho echoes of others can the country
hope for literature that will compare
favorably with that of England and
France.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
HARMLESS.

She-''Did you tell Fibs of our en-
gagement?"
He-"Yes."
She (aggrieveD D-"You promised
that you would say nothing about it.
He-"It's perfectly safe with Fibs;
no one ever believes him. "--Washing.
ton Times.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
AS IN THE BEGINNING.

Railroad Manager-"Here, Blobbs,
this new timetable won't do at all !"
Blobbs-"I thought it very explicit,
sir. ="
Manager-'That's just what's the
matter. The first thing you know the
public will be able to understand q
timetable as we'll as we. See if you
can't complicate it bit. San Fran
cisco Wave.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
ALL THAT WAS NECESSARY.

"Dear me-" said the lovely lady,
petulantly. ''rhose are beautiful
verses you have written about me, but
it happens that my hair is dark brown,
instead of golden"
"Haw By Jovel SO it is, said
the petted society poet. "Well, there
is only one thing to do. You must
have your hair bleached. Indian
apolis Journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

Professor Crocker, of Columbia Col
loge, says that tho talk of electrical
science being in its Infancy" is all
bosh. To-day it is one of the most
exact OF tho known sciences.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
AN INSPIRATION,

Bertwhistle-"Bentonby Is rather
gay for a fellow learning to ride
bicycle"
Dusnap-'Well, he feels that his
fortune is made. He's invented
pneumatic tire that will hold arnica
for beginners. Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

"rhe worst kind Of bicycle face is
The long face your oldest daughter
puts on whom she has asked for a wheel
and you have told her that you emit
nlford to buy her one" AYERS the Bos.
ton Globe.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
BICYCIE PUNISHED.

Miss Wurrill-"Hattie Scorcher run
Oh tack yesterday"
Miss Wiel-'Well, from what
know of her temper, I suppose she
kicked her wheel, then, didn't she?"
Miss Wurrill-"No; just blew it
up" Judge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
CANDID.

She-"Am 1 the first girl you over
proposed to, darling?"
He (sincerely)-''No, but you are
the only girl who ever accepted me-"
Boston Transcript.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
WINNIE.
A STORY FOR GIRLS.

] HIN q hundred
miles of my town
there lives a girl.
Her age is some
where b o t W Q o N
thirteen and nine
t G o II years. She
isn'texactly lypretty,
though she comes
very near being so
when she smiles |;
neither is she ex-
actly homely when
she isn't smiling.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
DIsAGREEABLE.

Fuddy-"What man Gowdy is
Nobody can get along with him."
Duddy-'T believe you. Even his
food don't agree with him. Boston
Transcript.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
NONE TOO CORDIAL.

The Hostess-'I suppose there is
no use in asking you to stay to din
ner ?"
Tho Caller-"Not in that way."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
SARCASTIC.

Lady Customer lin china shop
''Do you break these sets?"
Dealer--"No, madam; the purchas-
ers' servants usually attend to that"
-Tit-Bits.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

The London Engineer notes the
growing favor in which the American
made Giles and rasps are held in Eng
land.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
RATES OF ADVERTISING,

One Square, one inch, one insertion. 8 90
One Square, one inch, one month. 81. 800
One Square. one inch, three months. 3 20
One Square, one inch, one year ... 10 100
Two Squares, one year,. ..,.....-.. Is D
Quarter Column, one year...,.,,,.. - 90
Half Column, one year ar.,,,.,,.....,.. 50 %
One Column, one year ....,.,. 100 10
Legal Advertisements ten cents per line
each insertion.
Marriages and death notices gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements collected
quarterly Temporary advertisements must
be paid in advance
Job work-cash on delivery.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
ADLE-poDIED.

"Is Miss Angler an athletic girl9"
ooh, yes; she has thrown herself at
the head of every marriageable man in
her neighborhood. Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

The Chinese are now claiming that
they knew all about tho X rays ages
ago,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

In Australia there nre 1900, Coo
people Of Irish birth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
TIE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE,
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD By THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS,

Valuable Fashions-None Too Cor
dial-Able-Bodied--Sarcastic-The
Long and the Short of Love, Etc.
He picked the bonnet up in haste,
Knowing he had no time to waste;
And ran from store to home-a mile
For fear 1t would go out of style.
Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

.ickets or pay cash, as may
lin. The first mile from the
4cwntown terminus costs one cent,
aud one cent extra is charged for each
additional mile or fraction thereof.
In case passenger boards car at
distance from the terminus, and
aiights before it reaches its destina-
tion, he is charged one cent a mile for
tho space over which he rides. The
advocates of this plan argue that the
rate thus establ lished is equitable and
fair to all CONCERNED. 1t is maintained
that such payment will bring in proper
venue to the companies, and that
the downtown passenger is not con-
tinually paying for the long rides of
the suburban resident. The plan has
been effeetually worked out in Eu-
ropean cities, aud it Is ready for adop-
tion in America.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20

Says the Baltimore Herald: Anovel
experiment is about to be tried in Chi
cago. In brief, it is the application
of the Hungarian zone system to
street railway traffic, and the realiza-
tion of travel for a cent a mile. A
street railway company has been given
a charter and the right to build lines
over certain streets in Chicago. The
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-05-20
THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF LOVE.

''Love me little, love me long, sho
warbled.
eyes" said he. "But will you love
me when am short2"-Indianapolis
Journal.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1896-10-10
a hURDERnUs LUSATIC
Killed Man Who Was an Utter
StruMEcr.

Atlanta. Ga. Oct. 9.--B. II. Osborne.
lunaiic escaped from his home here
today and this afternoon shot and
killed Theodore Shrader on the corner
OF Lloyd and Alabama streets. foreman
ot lithograph company. Osborne was
III the asylum once and Violently insane.
A year ago he was released, the doctors
thinking that he had recovered
ON Monday he was married and n day
or two later his family noticed that he
was growing violent again. His father
mad arranged for a judicial investIga-
ton to-day in order that the young
man could be returned TO tho State
asylum While the father was absent
Osborne escaped from his home. having
secured pistol. He had declared that
he intended to kill some one. and officers
were sent Out TO look for him. Osborne
went TO the Union passenger station and
spent an hour or more there. About 4
O'Clock he walked off rapidly and after
passing a hundred people shot Shradet
on the insane impulse. Osborne stood
:'ill and waited until a policeman ar
rested him. Shrader leaves q family.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1896-10-10
oRFoLK VIRGINIA. SATURDAY. OCTOBER 10 1896

march was along Michigan avenue, to
; Ranuolph street, then west to Fifth
avenue. to Jackson street, east to Michl-
gan avenue, TO Sixteenth street and
thence to Tattersail.. where the
speeches of the evening were delivered.
Major Edgar b. Tolman was the chief
marshal, and the parade was held un-
der the auspices OF the United Silver
Clubs OF Cook county. The parade.
which consisted Of six divisions. was led
by cavalry brigade. Then came the
Cook county Democracy, followed by
clubs from southside wards and towns
This constituted the first divsioin, and
was i'll charge OF Marshal VIM. j.
O'Brien.
Marshal Joseph Basee was i'm charge
g the second division, which consisted
oil the Carter II. Harrison Association
and the Trades and Labor Unions
Clubs and organizations from north
side wards made up the third division
ana Marshal James a. Brachtendorf
was In command.
German organizations formed the
fourth division, with Marshal Charles
Frank IL command
The NTH division consisted of all west
side organizations, Marshall John Pow
erS being in command.
The sixth and last division Included
all unassigned organizations, bicycle
clubs and members of American Rail-
way Unions
The demonstration in point Of num-
hcrs ard enthusiasm was grand sue
cess. Owing to several changes in the
route from that given in the newspapers
tnere was some confusion and thous-
ands were disappointed. The alteration
IN the programme was made necessary
ny the presence OF street cars on the
orEinal route
AS to dlsplay, the parade was scare -lv
as gorgeous as The gold Democrats. but
iAis was no; unexpected. as the silver
people gave it out early in the week tina /
they would att mpt nothing in the way
of spectacular effects
The banners as rule. were of an i'm
promp,u order, and many Of the notices
We're trite IN their application. and were
wildly ely cred at all points. One IN par
ticular bearing the Inscription, OUR
BOSSES ARE WATCHING" caught
the crowds.
A float on which were seated II young
ladies, of whom 16 were dressed in white.
with silver adornments, and one cked
with gold, was cheered continually.
over 10000 men were In line the north
and south divisions moving first, the west
side contingent joining III when the " ar
OF the first two reached Randolph end
Market streets. The parade was due 10
arrive al Tattersalrs, at 10th and State
streets, In tim to participate In the free
silver meeting there, but long before pos
eible for the marchers to arrive, the meet
A conservative estimate puts the num-
Der of people on the town streets of Chi
cago from 9 O'clock this morning until
midnight at 100000.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1896-10-10
TUG ID. Il. r,I.l. BURNED.
Sh interesting Coincidence .n The
Bont's History

The little water tug David B. Hill.
owned by w. y. Brown & Co OF this
city. met with disaster at Warwick
hiVeT yesterday. Her woodkork at m.
forward end Of the boiler became !gni;ed
ana before the hose could be gotten out
the ens.n er was driven from the steam
pump and the tug was burned 10 the
waters edge. She was about five miles
UP the 'lver when The fire occurred
Captain Aleyand + and his crew ESCAPED
10 shore ana made their way 10 Newporf
News by rail, and from thence TO this
city Via Steamer. The tug was insured,
The David r. H!ll was one OF the oldest
and bes;-known OF the little tugs that
carry the sign water" in this harbor
! was f'om her decks that two Virginia n
representatives interviewed Presldan,
Cleveland on his return from a hunting
trip on tn Sound two years ago. and The
coincidence .: .he reporters tug bearing
the name Of the Presidents political foe
was Immediately observed by Mr.. Cieve-
land. who seemed TO enjoy the sItua lion
immensely
The news of the little crafts destruc-
t!on was brought 10 the V!rglnian bv
Captain Jester, who commanded the HjiI
on that memorable trip.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1896-10-10
THE VETS WILL CONTEST.
Local Option Election in Senboard
District orPripcess Anne.

When the very close result OF the local
option election in the Seaboard district
of Princess Anne county was announced
1t was known that a contest would he
speedily begun by the defeated wet"
men.
The vote was to have been canvassed
last Monday, but when the canyassinr
board which is composed OF five mem
bers. met, only four of the number were
present, and these stood two 10 two on
a proposition 10 ahrow out the Court
house precinct because OF Irregularities.
This precinct was carried hy the "drys. /"
No conclusion could thcr fore be reached
and the Board adjourned until yesterday
so that the fifth member could be pres
ent. meeting was held yesterday, bu,
there w re only three members present.
Judge Woodhouse then Sestrained them
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1896-10-10
WOULD 'TLET SLEEP.
The Crowds Found On The Window TO
MMIte trN M tncnk.

Sioux City. Iowa, Oct. 9.-The people
who got up early 10 see William j.
Bryan would not let him sleep this
morning. They banged on the windows
OF his private car a; Marshalltown up
TO the time he LEI there at lO:43 a. m.
and it was hardly dayb.eak when il
was renewed at stations where the train
halted on Its way 10 this city. There
were crowds at Wall Lake. OdehoE, Ar
thur. battle Creek, Danbury, Mapleton.
Onawa. and Within. Mr. Bryan was
Obliged To rise early in response to
shouts al several stations of "Trot him
or and Let us see him" He made
number OF brief speeches. The bip
SeEt crowd shat healr him was at Ona-
wa II was raining hard. chill cold
ram. when the candidate reached Sioux
CITY at 1920 this morning He was es-
coTted to the big train shed OF the Union
truck.
ON the conclusion Of his speech Mr.
Hryan rd.urned to his train, which lef;
az lI:i5 a. M. over the Chicago and
Northwestern for Sioux Falls. s. d.