davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
HUMOROUS.

-Practical.-Chawley GotroekD--W
dearest Margaret, 1 love you tsnderly
tevotedly. Your smiles would shed
Margaret-"Never mind the woodshed.
How about a residence built for two?"
Washington Times.
Mrs. Colonial Dame-'I am proud
to say that my grandfather made his
mark in the world" Mrs. Rev. Luton
well l guess he wasn't the only man
N those days who couldn't write his
name."-Northwest Magazine.
81 demand to be recognized"
screamed the memberess from the
Cmpty-eighth district. Impossible"
said the ~speakeress, looking freezingly
through he lorgnette; "the lady is not
n our set.'-Cincinnati Enquirer.
-"Grecious!" said the summer board
er. what is that tower with the great
wheel on top of it?" That there is a
windmill" the farmer explained. Real
ly? About how much wind will 1T turn
out in aday?"-Indianapolis Journal.
isn't the country air perfectly
lovely?" The Modern Girl shrugged her
shoulders coldly. "Oh, 1 don't know,"
she rejoined; 81 had my wheel inflated
with it ibis morning, and 1 don't notice
much diference."-Detroi Tribune.
Clever Popkins.-"Popkins is a
clever follow" What has he done
now??" Hes put a spring gun in his
back yard. a burglar alarm at every win
dow, an electric mat at cath door, and a
bulldog III the kitchen. 1t cost money,
but he accomplished the purpose he
aimed at" "What was 'hat?" He's
got the hired girl so scared hat she's
afraid - stay out late at night
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03

the bank, although greatly unnervC1
and agitated at the state of affairs,
could scarcely suppress his laughter on
finding that his "decoy," rs he called it,
had given so much trouble, and thor
Oughly done them, although he was
quite ignorant Of the plot he had unin-
tcntionaIly laid for them.
The "decoy.' an old, insecure safe.
which was always purposely kept
empty, was one of Mr.. Marsdcn's in
genious ideas for throwing burglars OIL
the scent, being fixed in a prominent
position to attract notice, while other
safes containing the valuables we're Ear
away from the rooms in ordinary use.
The pscudo-detective officers are in
safe custody now. They nave their
regular drills" and instead of picking
locks, pick acknowledgement Mer'
curry.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
T~ENNYSON'S M
they Are Some of the Fairest Feminine
Creations in Poetry.

TcnnysOn gave the world pictures OF
some of the fairest feminine creations
in poetry-winsome maidens. demura
and trustful; womanly women, loyal
and cOmpanionable; devoted wives
gentle and faithful; noble matrons, low
ing and self-sacrificing, serving the best
interests of home and country.
Tennyson's conception of woman and
Ecr sphere may be regarded as rather
old%-fashioned. He was evidently not
in full sympathy with some of the adj
yanced notions of the modern women.
His burlesGue of "woman's rights" in
'The Princess" has not hurt the cause
of the weaker sex. He understood the
right relations of the man and the
woman. and his utterances in the clos
ing passages of this poem go to The
heart of the problem. 1t is still true
that wOman's chief place and crown
ing glory is to be queen of the home
There she may have an unlimited field
for usefulness and exert a far-reachina
influence for good. if she but realize her
opportunities and improve them. In
the household woman finds her proper
sphere and work:
"Her office there to rear. to teach,
becoming as is meet and fit
link among the days, to knit
The generations each with each"
No other poet has done more to glOr-
fly the maternal sentiment. or TO mako
the family relation sacred. Woman's
work. as he conceived it, Is not only
training the plastic minds of the young,
but squirting the man to more reso-
lutte endeavora and grander achievement.
Yielding to her subtler forces and gen,
tier agencies, he aspires to Il higher
plane of being. While accomplishing
his manhood" by REFRESHING the baser
and cultivating the finer side of him,
she az the same time works out her own
salvation, humanity speaking, in the
truest sense. In n word, it is by low
ing and being loved that she reaches the
fullest development and renders the
world the best service. Conserving
and fostering goodness and greatness.
ministering to the wants of the lowly,
scattering gloom and softening the
sting of anguish-this is woman's mis-.
sion.-Eugene Parsons, in Chautau.
guam.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
"PlL DO WHAT I CAN,

Who takes for his motto: 'T,u do ub.+ ,
can" "Ne' 1
Shall better the world as he eoes down
life's hill. 0
The willing young heart makes the ran.
able man,
And who does what he can, oft can do
what he will.
There's strength in the imnuIea m bo1,
things along,
And forces undreamed of will come n
the aid "
OF one who, though weak, yet believes he
is strong,
And offers himself to the task, un-
afraid.
"Ill do What can is a challenge to fate
And tate must succumb when it's nut IN
the test;
A heart that is willing to labor and wait
IN us tussel with life ever comes out the
II puts the blue imps of depression to
route,
And makes many difficult problems seem
plain:
It mounts over obstacles, dissipates doubt
And u~nravels kinks in LIES curious
chain
"'Tn do what I can" keeps the progress
machine
In good working order as centuries roll,
And civilization would perish, 1 ween,
Were not those words written on many a
They fell the great forests, they furrow the
soil,
They seek new inventions to benefit man.
They fear no exertion, make pastime of
Oh, great is earth's debt to IN do what
l can"
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, in n. Y. hide
pendent.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
A BIOLOGICAL DIVERSION.
story OF an Elephant Who INDUCED In
Practical Jokes.

~
The elephant at the ,Jardin dcs
Plantes. at Paris. used to play his visit
ors a trick which could not have been
thought of but by an animal of such
Intelligence. His house opened upon an
Enclosure called the Elephants park,
containing 4 pond. in which he would
lay himself under the water. concealin1
every part of him except the very end
of his trunk-a mere speck. that would
hardly be noticed by a stranger to the
animals habits.
\ crowd would assemble around the
Enclosure. and. not seeing him in it.
would watch in expectation that he
would soon issue from the house.
But. while they were gazing about,
Il copious s%prinkling of water would
fall upon them, and ladies and gentle
men. with their fine bonnets and coats,
would run for shelter under the trees,
looking up at the clear sky and wonder
ing whence such Il shower could come.
Immediately afterward. however,
they would see the elephant rising slow
" from his bath, evincing. as il seemed,
an awkward JOY at the trick that he had
played.
In the course of time his amusement
became generally known, and the mo-
ment the water began to rise from his
trunk the spectators would take flight,
at which he appeared exceedingly de-
lighted. getting up as fast as he could
to see the hustle he had caused.-Spare
Moments
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
USEFUL BLACK and TAN.
Dog Undertakes to Help a Hen Suppors
Her Family.

Her Family.
\ hen was sitting upon Il clutch"
q l. eggs, and Don, the 3~lack-and-tIn.
soon became very curious to know why
Size stayed in the barn so closely.
The dog, as it appears. had formerly
been given to teasing the hen, snatch
ing her iuod away from her. and other
wise making himself Il torment; but
this intercourse had gradually turned
into friendship, and the two would
sometimes be seen lying and squatting
side by side in the sun. on a bit of car
Eet in The back porch.
During the three weeks that the hen
sat on her eggs, Don used to pay daily
visits to the barn. and sometimes would
stay with her by the half hour.
Then the chicks came out of
their shells. Don was intensely inter-
ested. All day long he scarcely left the
barn. The next morning, when the hen
stepped off the nest, and with a cluck
called her brood after her, Don fol-
lowed.
The hen fell to scratching, and the
fluffy chicks darted hither and thither,
picking up the titbits which the mother
had uncovered.
Good" said Don to himself; 81 can
aelp in this business" and, to the terror
of the chickens. he ran among them and
began turning UP the soil at n lively
rate. Then he sat down and waited.
The mother hen called back the
chicks 10 the newly-scratched earth,
and soon they picked it clean. Then
the dog took another turn. and so the
good work proceeded. to the great de-
light of all the parties.-Indianapolis
Sentinel.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03

with their drills and levers. Presently
with a united and terrific effort, tn
outer door was loosened from its sock
cts.
Good" muttered one, as they grad
uelly yet laboriously lowered tn,
mighty piece of metal to the ground
THE inner compartment Is Tery short
work. chummie."
And so it proved, for with the utmos'
dexterity one pried the lock as thu
other, with a thin chisel. as hard as ada
mant, started forcing the door.
'One more wrench, Jim, and then fol
the spoil!" And he rubbed his hand:
with glee.
CIang. And open flew the door. But
what?
Fooled! Frustrated! Bafledl The
safe was empty!
The scoundreis who had instantly
dived their hands into the interior
shrank back aghast swearing and pour.
ing curses upon the old bankers head.
Bah. the old blackguard! He has
uOnt US JlIl- ANU no u nave uIcdLled
it?"
There's no time to lose" blurted his
confederate, smashing anything be
could lay his hands on in sherr wanton
ness. IT'S striking six o'clock and
work people are about"
Tools were hurriedly collected and
pockcted again. and the Sergeant
with a disappointed growl. suggested
that they should go out by the door
they came in by. as nobody was stirring
much. and the back way meant scaling
walls and roofs. This they did. but int-
mediately on emerging into the street
they were met by Mr.. Marsden in COM
panv with three constables. The old
banker had experienced 4 sleepless
night and risen early. calling at the
police station. %innOcently enough, or
his way TO ascertain the news. if any.
and was there astonishcd 20 learn that
they believed il to he 4 bogus affair, as
they knew nothing of it.
There was Il desperate effort On the
part of the burglars TO escape. but ona
or w passing wOrkmcn 1t the cry Of
"iTelp'" rendered assistance. and tn"
police officers were strongly secured.
Mr.. Phillip Marsden, on stepping into
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03

changed hands through the unsettled
state Of the public mind, occasiOned by
bank failures and the explosions o.
public companies; but Marsden q Ey-
lotty's bank had stood mistaken, for il
was conducted on a sound financial
basis with a large capital, and had b.
come quite an old established institu-
ton.
In consequence of the aforesaid fail
ures, the receipts at Marsdcn's had eN-
banded enormously, and Mr.. Phillip,
whose heart and soul were in the life
long work which his great-grandfather
founded. frequently drove across and
stayed behind for an hour TT so of late
to glance through the transactions of
the day carefully and quietly. 1t
was, perhaps, a little indiscreet so far
rs his health was concerned, for Phil
lip was travelling toward the sun
down" of life, having passed his three
score years and ten. His medical ad-
wiser had frequently enjoired him 70
avoid mental or physical cXertion, his
constitution beingfarfrom strongnOV;
but when the banker laughed and pooh
poohed the idea, the doctor, with =
merry twinkle in his eye. prophesie'l
that Marsden would assuredly die il
the harness.
The latter almost believed it, too,
while admitting that his intellect was
not so keen, his Judgment and discrim-
mating faculties not quite 50 clear, nor
his strength what it vas some 10 years
back. He had been n mastery finan-
cier in his early days at the bank.
conjuring with monetary problems as
boys do with marbles. and giving the
strictcst attention to the work and %
the secure custody of the documents
and cash within its walls. Some very
ingenious devices in the construction of
the building and its rooms were at
tributable to his foresight, ~artifice ami
care. Narsden was n dear old gentle
man. genial. happy and exceedingly
kind TO the staff in his employ, who. in
return. performed their duties to the
Tery letter, knowing the esteem in
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03

which their services were held and sub
stantially recognized.
The moments wore on, and Mr.. Mars
den, with a yawn, rose from his seat,
and was just about to depart when a
knock at the side door of the office de-
manded his attention. Upon opening
the door n police sergeant and two stall
wart officers in plain clothes confront
ed him.
You are Mr.. Marsden. I believe, sir;
the head of the bank?" inquired the
sergeant. in an anxious undertone.
That is so. lam Mr.. Marsden."
q have some most important evil
dence to communicate, if you will grant
us a few minutes in private. sir"
Indeed! Certainly. Step inside.
And these two gentlemen, who might
they be?" asked the banker, turning
on his heel.
1.-TWO detective officers engaged upon
their duty" replied the sergeant, and
the trio were quickly ushered into the
private sanctum of the banker.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
LongfelIow's Evangeline.

The story of the origin of Longfel-
lows "Eyangeline'-the writing of the
poem-is thus told: Hawthorne dined
One day with LongfeIlow. and brought
with him a friend from Salem After
dinner the friend said: Il have been try
ing to persuade Hawthorne TO write
q story based upon a legend of Acadie
and still current there, the legend of the
girl, who, in the dispersion of the Ar
cadians, was separated from her lover
and passed her life in waiting and seek
ing for him, and only found him dying
in a hospital when both were old"
LongfellOw wondered that this legend
did not strike the fancy OF Hawthorne
and said to him: IF You have really
made up your mind not 10 use it for a
story. will you give it 10 me for a
poem?" To this Hawthorne assented,
and. moreover promised not to treat the
subject in prose till Longfellow had
seer what he could do with II in verse.
And so we have ''Evangel;ne" in beauti-
full heyameters, a poem that will hold
it's place in literature while true af-
lection lasts. Hawthorne rejoiced in
this great success of Longfellow and
loved to count up the editions, both for
eign and American, of this now world
renowned poem.-Chicago News.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03

Take four quarts of damson plums;
wash and drain. then pour over them
enc quart of water in 4 porcelain kettle.
Cook slowly until tender. then pass
through 4 sieve all the pulp and as much
skin as possible. Wash the kettle and
return the pulp to it; add ~ cupfuls
Of sugar, two ~teaspoonfuls of cinnamon,
a teaspOonful of ground cloves. n Of
nllspice; simmer slowly until thick
enough, then put into bottles, cork and
keep IN a cool place.-N. 7. Ledger.
Charles lie Chauve was completely
bald. II is said hat Re had not a
single hair on head or face. Eyebrows
and eyelashes were both completely
lacking.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
Why He Was Chosen.

Papa-So, Bobby, you're the president
Of your bicycle club. That's very nice.
How did they happen to choose you?
Brbby-Well, you see, papa, I'm tbs
only boy that's got a bicycle.-Harper's
Round Table.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
A SAFE" AFFAIR.

Il. ? ii l / L I =
MARSDEN, senior
partner of Mars
den u Rylotty,
bankers, sat alone
one evening in his
counting house.
The season had
been a very heavy
d prosperous
0 Il e, for much
money had eN-
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-10-03
A New Glass.

Hot weather makes particularly de,
lightful the news from Germany of the
production of glass capable of trans.
hitting light freely. but no1 heat. The
plate contains IS per cent. Of iron in the
form of ferrous chloride. |: allows only
400 per cent. of heat TO pass through
it. Ordinary window glass let's GDou'
So per cent. of the heat through
The best portion of a good mans
life is his little nameless, Unremem.
hered acts of kindness and of love-
Wadsworth
New-York tribune., 1896-11-23
MANY WOMEN MENAcF0.
THEY FIND STRONG DEFENCE AGAINST pAx-
GER THAT MOVES NEAR.

THEY FIND STRONG DEFENCE AcArvsr ma.
GER THAT MOVES NEAR.
"Consumptive. Wasting away. LOSING o..s,
Tired out. Exhaustedw
These are all different ways of describ,r.
great form of weakness from which thousana.
Of women are suffering. They are nervous ,h,r
faced women who lack brightness y:yacitv 90
seem to be continually weak exhausted ons
worn out. They are usually sallow. dvsnen,,.
and never have fresh, healthy color. Manv
of them realize that they are in danger OF con-
tracing quick consumption and would plad,v
learn how to gain increased vigor. health and
strength. 1t is for the benefit of such woman
that the following words have been special,v
printed:
Mrs. Nj. Neeson. 212 llth ST.. Brooklyn, n. y
writes: by the use Of Duffy's pure malt whi..
key have gained increased health ard strength
and to-day am feeling better than / have feI,
for many years. 1t is an excellent preparst ton
and can strongly recommend it,"
Thousands of opinions similar to the above
have been constantly received from ladies' whose
health has been restored and whose lives have
been saved 10y this great stmulan,. Their words
prove beyond question that Dufys pure mali
whiskey cannot he equalled. Nothing so speed.
ily creates a healthy appetite tones up the di.
gestive organs and puTifies the blood. Ii gives
strength and nourishment when everything else
fails All grocers and druggists keep Duffy's
but care should be taken to get the genuine
New-York tribune., 1896-11-23
SENATOR SMITHS DAUGHTER TO WE'D.

Tomorrow morning Miss Elizabeth Cecilia Smith.
daughter OF United States Senator James Smith.
will be married to Peter Hauck. jr. in ST. Patrck's
Cathedral. Newark. The Rev. NJ r. OConnor OF
Harrison. will sing the nuptal mass. and the mar
rage ceremony will be performed by Archbishop
Corrlgan. The Archbishop married Miss Smiths
parents.
The wedding breakfast; will be served I'm Senator
Smiths house Newark after which the newly mar
ried couple propose to start a months OF the
South. Peter Hauck. the wealthy Harrison brewer.
has presented to the bridegroom-hls only son-the
Grover mansion, in Washington-st., Newark and
there the young man will install his bride
Miss Smith Is twenty yesrs old. just four years
younger than her prospective husband. She was
educated In st. Elizabeth's Convent. Madison. Mr..
Hauck was graduated from the Newark Academy.
and afterward took course In the Brewers College
New-York. before settling down to help his father
manage the brewery. One OF Mr.. Hauck's sisters Is
married 10 ex- Senator Michael T. Barrett.
New-York tribune., 1896-11-23
A MYSTERY ~ THIS Suicide.
THE BODY or An UNKNOWN YOUNG WOMAN
FOUND IN \ SUBURB OF TRENTON.

THE BODY or An UNKNOWN YOUNG WOMAN
FOUND IN SUBURB OF TRENTON.
Trenton Nov. O. lSpecal).-rhe body OF a comely
Young woman. about twenty-five years old. was
found by TWO boys lying In cump OF wood In Re
vere-ave Just outside this city to-day. with bullet
hole In her left temple. In the right hand was tightly
clutched a small revolver. The police conclude. from
an examination OF the place where the body was
found. that IL "A case OF suicide
The police have been working on the case all day.
bu up TO late hour have not been able 10 find any
one who can Identify the suicide. Reverc-ave. IL In
the neghborhood OF Quintons old racetcack. The
locality is sparsey settled. but the police have found
several persons who say tha, they saw the suicide
wandering aImessly about at an early hour this
morning. She stranger In tho neighborhood.
they said. and appeared 10 be looking for some one.
The young woman wore no Jeweiry and had carefully
removed everything from her person that would aid
In Identifying the body The underclothing on the
body OF costly material while the outer garments
except the hat and a lace collar i-ftting and OF
cheap material. This leads the detectives TO think
that before deciding upon taking her lfe the young
woman had exchanged her outer garments In order
TO conceal her Identity.
The authorities working upon the theory that
the suicide came here from another city.
New-York tribune., 1896-11-23
/ RAILROAD VICTIM DISAPPEARS.

ALTHOUGH APPARENTLY SERIOUSLY INjrREp. HE
ESCAPES FROM THE MEN WHO RESCUED iIIM.
Hashrouck He ghts. Nov. 90 tSpecI1D The south
hound freight train OF thc Ncw-Jcrsey ana New
York Railroad struck a between this pia'"
and Ilackonsack last night. and thr accid"n' mas
resulted a. 4 mystery that * siill unsolvri
The train was behind time and was running az
unusual speed. when Engineer Gross saw a man
walking on H.. ;rach. A. tho man paid no ht.'n-
tou to the danger signals the brake~ we're appi''H.
lint 10, lite The locomotive hit the fellow an"
knocked him 20 one side. The train was stopped.
tho man picked up IN An unconscious 'ondit1'n ana
brought 10 this place. whcre De revived lie aP-
peared 20 he badly hurt In the back.
4 messenger Wa sent for aid from The lla' h' ~
.ack Hospital tn. injured man being n alone o'i
,he staten platform When tn" ambuianc" Al
rived the man had DISAPPEARED ana no trace or
him has been found. Some persons THINK tnht the
mans injuries were not serious a AZ Hrs, ih"i-
.,..d aud that he recovered sufficiently 10 wiik
away Others b6li.v" that nr may nave u '''N'
l.itrious and wandered OF into the swamp " u
stretches away FOR miles from the station lh'i'
\. no doubt abou. IN" accident but the UainfeN
,rd hosuifal people ar. nOnpluss"d as 10 "hht D,
came g.. the Victim. Several men mAd" s,I' i"
,hrough the swamp to-day, but 'Cul1 ilHt no .i"t'
Of l.
New-York tribune., 1896-11-23
PAYNE INTENDS TO FIGHT 1T OUT.

Henry NJ Payne. whose whiskers were trimmed
forcibly by his fellow sophomores at Lafayette
College Easton. Penn, last Tuesday, left Brook
lyn for his home in Southold. Long Island. yester
DAY He had been staying with relatives at No
752 Cuincy-st. He had intended to return to COL
Of the institution Informed him that feeling
still 80 high that longer absence was advisable.
While his playful fellows cutting off his
whiskers and stuing ather down his throa, some
shears. Dr. Clayland. who has been attending
him. thinks there is danger Of blood poisoning.
Though only eighteen years old Payne Is six feet
three inches in height. Iie intends to go back and
face his prosecutors. but whether he finishes his
course there will depend upon whether 1t is eco
nomieal TO remain there The Mayor Of the city
companied TO chapel, classes and 10 his meals by
a policeman. Moreover. he has received permis
If necessary Mr.. Payne Is a relative of John How
ard Payne. and so good a musician that he has
paid most Of his expenses at college by giving
Ing to an end at Lafayette. and have promised TO
stand by Payne.
Eas,on. Penn, Nov. 22 (SpeciaD the STU
dents at Lafayette College read the statements by
Henry NJ. Payne to-day In metropolitan papers re-
garding the recent alleged hazing and whskers-
cutting, they became considerably excited. To your
1T Is not that Payne was forced to the barber
shop. He walked every step. lie says IL was a
prearranged affair. and that he was helpless. As a
fact. he brought up the incident himself and never
interposed any objections TO having the suggestion
that his whiskers ought TO come of carried out
We the first man In the barber shop and 1t was
whiskers And after they were cut Off he led the
procession 10 the college. and all separated after
ly harm and will seek police protection In order 10
resume studies. That Is bosh: OF us want to
harm him. but we Will have nothing to do with
him socially. We are at loss to understand the
man.