The sun., 1896-10-09
COMEDY OF THE CANVASS.
DBUMMERS MPLE n TlRIED
sTOCK OF KEYSTONE POLIIICs.

s1OCk OF. KETsToNE PoLIIICs.
A ClsveIsud sparrow who Is Doins Ne
stnsinE Arter Rreakrnst-What Dam
forth says for Only Bryan TO Believe
speiibInder Iavsntn n New Kind OF Speech
Chairman Dantorth OF the Popocratic State
Committee, made the following prediction yes
terday: Bryan will carry Ohio. 20 votes; Iowa
10, Nebraska s, Oregon /, Wyoming 3. Montana
8, Washington 4, North Dakota 3, Utah .. Idaho
3, South Dakota 4. Michigan Ii, Nevada 3, Kan
sas 10. Colorado 4, California 0, Illinois ~, In
diana is. Delaware 3, New Jersey TO- Maryland
8, West Virginia o. Virginia, l2, North Caro-
lima IL. South Carolina ., Kentucky IL, Ten
ncssee j.. Missouri IL. Arkansas S, Texas is.
Mississippi o. Louisiana 8, Alabama IL, Georgia
Is, and Florida 4. Total. 3l9.
well, Jimmy, see you won In Georgia"
said n visitor at PopocrRttc headquarters to
Jimmy Oliver OF Paradise Park. Yes" said
Jimmy, Its all over in Jarja but the counting"
The Hon. Thomas vernilon Cooper. who is
better known as the Red headed Hopeful in
Pennsylvania politics. made q speech to the
commercial travellers the occasion being
Pennsylvania day. why, fellow citizens"
said the hopeful one the truth is not in them;
no. not little bit They have no morals, either.
They remind me OF the story of the two coored
men who were stealing chickens. One Of them
had an attack OF conscience while the operation
was going on.
"'BijA' he said, 'Bljs, don't you think It's
wrong to be a stealin' these yere pults'
"sYou fool coon.' said the other one, don't
you be a ratsin' the moral issue now. Hand me
down another pullet n we'll talk about 1t after
We git away These Popocrats trying to
rake In the pullets now. and they're telling tho
people that they'll atteud to tho morals OF re-
| pudiat.on after the election"
The commercial travellers meeting fur
n,shed an illustration OF the saying that poll
| tic. makes strange bed fellows. Senator Quay
Mayor Warwick Of Phiiadelphia. theme the most ~ bit.
ter anti-Qrsy man in Penqsyiysnis; Boess
hia GSv Hs,nss @ho 0 ei tSe S ash &
Herrls6ass m A last w,ntep. W wasn't .S % far OI away
| Senator Quay's PLATFORM in Pennsy rania
is down with the bo,ses" Recently the Phia-
| delpAia papers have been jumping on Mayor
facts, mad thousands of card. ou. read.
Major pSked up one 2f these card. and
read 1t, Then he elushed and laid Il down.
Senator Quay. The senator dropped 1t hastily
and lauEhed. The Pennsylvaniaus. IT is related.
1 y
OF this car sat a dozen men. The middle Of the
car vacant, and during the whole trip
neither party spoke 10 the other.
| Amasa Thornton has not been at the Fifth
Avenue Hotel for six days. He was seen out
side yesterday and asked about the candidate
for Congress he had helped to nominate in the
Hes a great man, and he's absolutely sound
on the financial question:
al Fnr ND
pud:ation." said the reporter to Cleveland
oificeholder yesterday.
'Sh-sh." said the oficeholier: I'm tell you
about 1t. Did you ever hear about thAt little
and cold. Al last. seeing nothing better In
sight. II flew down in the dirt and scrGtcle ed and
picked ana ate and though, II wat snjc!tnG i
upon the wire again and began To sing merrilY,
tAat is to say. as merrity A. a sparrow can sing.
around aai around. ard ut last swuoped down
and gcbHled il MP. W ell. the mora OF that story
il. i: you have to eat dirt doa sing about 1t.
This is an occasion when I've got to eat dirt or
wont re regular. and III" air is just full OF
hawk waiting for me to sing TO get my Job. Dc
you understand ~
II am probably the most successful spell
btnuer in the country" said Lee Fairch!ld
yesterday. Why. the Other day made
speech in town where the County Committee
had ls>ued "a genera! initiation for everyn". tc
or what and they JUS signed their circular
The Committee Well, talked for an houi
and the whole town listened. The Democrats
sad it WAS the finest speech they had ev-l
heard. so lid the Rep bIicans 80 did H.,
PopUiIsts. and. dye know, they have beef
scrappipg IN that town ever since, irving e
sette among themselves which side was on
Ttat'S VIA: call a registration speech. Keep,
every body taking and E.ht!N- Gut:l regi>tra
tion day. and they don't forget to get out aEc
gst their names down.
The silver mine owners" said the St. Pau
man. occupy in this election tie position OF th'
President OF the corporation They are Just get
ting together their company now. and II theI
, succeed N organizing 1t. you mark my word
I What's that: Why. did YOU never hear tina
littte corporation story; Well, we'll! 1t was tAt
way: There were tea small boys and n big one
/ Each ot the crowd wanted a cigar No
oHe Of them lad money enough To buy one
/ Finally the big fellow says: Let's form Il cor
poraijOu. Well all chip H. and I'll be l'rcst
dent The others agreed; and they al cn:pIor
in, nd FOR eleven cents they bought the finest
biggest. latest cigar yon ever saw. That is =
say the big fellow ho uEht It, He bit OF the er'
and liz It and pufcd around and pufed an'
putiet and had a great time. The other fellow
saw the cigar g9.ns Lp In smoke ana began I
SAY where do We come ins'
lyon = says the b.E fellow. why. You ali.
iookin' for any OF this cigar are you You don,
don't. Why don't you know that the Pres den
OF the corporation does the smoking and tn
stock holders they do the spitting2 Well.
guess Now. II oy any chance the Boy orato
shoula get elected. you just watch and see hos
quick these silver mine owners will tell the dupe
the first principle OF the corporation story,
, concluded the st. Paul man.
PALMER AND BUCKYER SPEAK.