Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-07-10
. TOLLEY'S ADVENTURE.

RXxxxxxXxxxxxxXxxx XxxxXxXXXxxxXC
'That's finished" said Petcrkins,
holding UP the sketch on which he had
been working all the evening. "Perk,
where's the corkscrewY
'tUndcr the bed think" said Per
kins, II threw it at mouse"
''I'll toss you to see who crawls for
It." said Peterkins.
Done" said Perk, and he left his
writing, being unable, as he explained
Peterkins "do the crawfish," his free
translation Of crawl
4 snow, that's beauty" commented
Peterkins, again holding his sketch at
arms length and casting a glance Of
admiration on It, while the too-confi-
dent and unfortunate Perkins was en-
joying the fruits of his own fool-hardi-
ness beneath the bed. "That will
touch the EDITORS heart. And the beau
tlful joke--no, that's too vulgar q
word to apply to this diamond of my
mind--the beautiful--ah--witti
chats better attached to 1t, l tell
you what, Perk, the toot onsom--the
altogether a~ 1t were or sketch and
Joke, is simply out OF sight, as you
are Perk.''
whats 1t all about?" asked Perk,
reappearing. He was covered with
lint, and somewhat disheyelled, but
looked triumphant In the possession
Of the cQrkscrew,
an old sweetheart" answered Peter
kins, still admiring his handiwork.
''Here you see Aiis. Moneybags lean
Ing against this low brick wall with
utter disregard for the bags she is
making In the elbows of her tailor
made gown. In the background is Mr..
Mn1eybag's elegant country house,
which the brick wall surrounds. This
sad-faced young man, who seems to
be wondering whether his patent
leather shoes are going to crack, is
Old Sweetheart. Says Old Sweetheart:
{now listen to the beautiful witticlsm,
Perk) And do you love your hus-
bandy 'Passlonately,' says Mrs. Mon
ey-bags, But when we were engaged
you said you could never love another
says Old Sweetheart so | did, says
Mrs. Moneybags, but I didn't know
that Mr.. Money bags was SO rich All,
the beautiful joke, the beautiful witt
cism,' cried Peterkins "Now won't
th3t make a hit Perk?'
Perk looked out Of the window. ''It's
u beastly night" he said. 81 wonder
il this rain will ever STOP
Just like you, Perk," said the other.
Il might have known you wouldn't
see the point It takes an acute mind
TO understand that jokc--I mean gem
Of wit That's what will impress the
editor He'll think it's so delicate-too
delicate for him to see-and that will
make him accept it."
'There's a cab Just stopped at the
door," was Perks answer. He was still
looking out at the rain. II suppose it's
some Of those people who moved into
the fit below to-day. They're dead
swells, aren't they, like-like your
friend, Mrs. Moneybagsi'
Dead or alivst that's Just what they
are remarked %aterkins, "for heard
the janitfess say they had an elegant
movin'" which means, suppose, that
their personal effects comprise more
than one bed two cheap tables, one
washstand Peterkins was taking an
VI lHc IOOIul. pOoh-
case with an array of improving liter
allure In paper covers, and Accent
cot made into couch"
s'My dear Pete" said Perk, turning
from the window, you have forgotten
to mention our choicest possessions
ALLOW me to enumerate: Item, a man
tlepiece, handsomely decorated with a
large assortment of highly-scented
pipes; item, one large tobacco jar near
ly empty; item, collection of rejected
sketches with jokes attached, the said
Jokes Of too delicate nature to be I'M
derstood by the average editor of the
average society journal; item, one
beautiful work Of art regularly denem-
mated GROWER, with Which may also
be included six Ceramic gems, some
times called stems; item, one neces
Snry Of life known as a chatting dish:
item, one hunk of cream cheese in a
greasy piece OF paper; item, one useful
article called a corkscrew, and last
but by no means ct cetera. one case
of nectar, known to commerce as beer
getting cool in the rain outside the
window"
''Perk, you are eloquent" cried Pete
..You convince me that one front room
in the hand is better than the rest of
this fat in the bush-which it will al
ways be Ia the bush for us, I'm afraid
Please group the various items known
as chatting dish, cheese, corkscrew, and
stems, with other items not previously
mentioned, and known as knives
forks, plates, and bread, all of which
may be found in the soiled linen bas
ket also omitted from your list of
items), and will attend to the item
outside our easement
Perk was soon stirring vigorously
md singing with all his lung power.
Here's to the bunny without and fur,
Beside it ambrosia pales, sir;
Here's to the cotton-tail served upon
toast
:fhe orange-cream rabbit of Wales,
sir.
The door opened just then and in