The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1896-04-10
a POLITICAL PARADE.
jeremiah and dis sIinisteFiaI Pa Have
Another Discussion.

republican, aren't you?"
"Proud Of it? 1 should say so. Icon
slider no greater honor than to be known
as a member of the grand old party
"Would you be willing to stand mp
for your G. O. P. anywhere?"
"You-can just bet your-I mean most
assursdly I would"
"Would you parade with it?"
"When my presence is needed to give
moral tone and dignity to the party, I
am always there"
swell, pa, we are going to arrange
for a republican parade tonight"
aParade tonight, where?"
Fright here on this table"
Jeremiah, areyou losing your head?"
aOh, no; you viii understand in
minute what I mean. OF course we are
only going to arrange for a parade, and
we will suppose that it isgOiDg to come
off tomorrow. Now, pa, in this hat I
have"
Jeremiah, what smart trick are you
up to nowY You had better be careful,
| for 7 am in 10 mood to stand your non
sense"
"TheTe is no nonsense in this, pa.
You always say that you are temper
auce man, against the whisky traffic.
You preach red-hot sermons against
the saloon keepers and their business
and pray that the Lord will hasten the
day Of prohibition. You are also proud
of being a republican and not ashamed
of parading the public streets with
your party"
"WelI, all of that is true, but what I
want to know is what you are getting
att"
Il secured the list Of republican vot-
ers Of this district, and have written
the name of each voter on a card. Now
the parade is to take place on the side
walk, ali the voters walking by twOs,
arm in arm. Ma shall draw the cards,
aud we will arrange them in twos on
this table"
swell, I declare, that will be interest
ing. One thing I am certain of, there
will be some pretty solid men in line"
"That's what's the matter, pa. Some
of them are SO solid that they will
weigh 200 or 800 pounds. Now let the
drawing begin"
Mrs. Wimbledon draws a card.
"By George, the first man out is Fitz-
heimer, the brewer; solid, too; weighs
265 pounds. Now, ma, draw another
card"
Mrs. Wimbledon draws another card.
"Oh Ha, ha, ha-a-a-ha! His partner
is the Rev. Joshua Buckley, D. D., the
man who talks so much against the Ii
quor traffic. There they are, arm in
arm at the head of the G. o. P, parade.
One for personal liberty and free wills
ky and the other for prohibition, but
both voting the same ticket. Next"
"See here, jeremiah, this is another
of your schemes. You have fixed up
these cards so as to suit your trick.
Pass the hat over this way, I'll do the
drawing myself"
"All right, pa, go ahead"
The Rev. Elijah Wimbledon draws a
card,
"HelIO, here's Karnaygee, the wealthy
manufacturer, whom nearly all the
workmen hate! Next. Well, by all
that's ho-funny, here's Tom Brad
dock, the labor leader. Tom and the
other boys have been living on platform
| promises for a good many years, and
Karnaygee has enjoyed the joke i'm
mensely."
/ Jeremiah, l wish you would not pass
remarks on every man that is drawn
out of this hat, or We will be here all
night, Here's the next card"
sold Moueybags Blair-gOld standard
and here's Free Silver Jackson. How
they do fit Hello, here's Deacon sh-
versmith, and, by George, here's Jack
| Keegan, the gambler, for his partner
That's daisy pair. Next. Jim Jones
the man who keeps the worst dive in
town. Two murders in his saloon last
year, but his pull with the boys makes
him necessary to the Republican bosses
so he has no fear of the law. Wondel
who'll be his partnerw
Elder Wimbledon draws another card
"HoOraY, hoorayl It's you, pal Hoo,
ray, hoo-Oo"-
Here, you young rattle-brain, DROP
that Indian yell, OF III thrash the life
out of you. Do you think I would pa
parade with Jim Jones-me, a minister
Of the gOspel?"
spa, this is republican parade, and
you agreed to the rules. There's YOU
partner. He votes the same ticket, and
| does more, 80 times, for the success OF
! the party than you DO. He can inhu
ence' the boys and keep them in line