The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

became very terrible. He used up
enough kindling, profanity and coal oil
to have ignited the pyramids of Egypt.
He stamped and showed and poked and
banged and cursed and shook till even
the cat-and it had it's dinner-was
displeased with him, and departed to
the outer kitchen to try the oysters,
which the dilatory grocer had just de-
posted on the table without waiting to
parley with Mr.. Meek. He was a wise
grocer and had heard enough.
When, about five minutes later, Mr..
Meek discovered that the cat had found
the oysters to its taste, he became even
less calm. Had the cat been around
but, like the grocer, it had heard
enough, and taken an unobtrusive de-
parture-it is hugely probable that a
considerable majority of its nine lives
would have come to an abrupt termina-
ton.
At this stage to console the unfortu-
nate man, the fire began to go again.
Once started, it didn't stop. In about
five minutes it had burned up what rs
manned of pretty much everything eX-
cept a large pot of green tea and a small
portion of Mr.. Meek. The chop that the
cat hadn't eaten was especially well
done. 1t could be quite safely left on
the window sill with a whole legion of
cats around it. Mr.. Meek, however,
simply left it in the coal bin. In point
of either color or hardness it would
have been difficult to have found a
more fitting place for it.
Then there came over Mr.. Meek face
terrible expression. He brought in
pail Git was the scrubbing pail, which
he had mistaken for the scrap pail, but
no matter) andpoured the soup careful
ly into it, throwing the pan about five
feet into the sink. Next he scraped the
potatoes into the small pail, and again
another pan followed the course of the
| first in getting to the sink. Then he
poured the tomatoes on top of the
potatoes, and still a third pan got to the
the sink with unusual rapidity. 1t can
not be definitely stated whether or not
| Mr.. Meek, in doing this, was actuated
by the desire TO prepare some famous
hunters dish relished in the dear oid
camping days gone by, but certain it is
no sooner did he get the tomatoes nicely
on top of the potatoes than he took the
whole thing and tossed it, pail and all
into the outer lane.
This accomplished he proceeded tc
make a meal off the cold ham and some
bread and butter-the cooking butter
of course.
Just as he was finishing Mrs. Meek
returned. "Why, James, she cried
cheerfully. you never sent the cab fol
me, and | waited nearly an hour"
NO" said her husband calmly, "1've
been terribly busy. Men from New
York-just got home a little while ago
This is a very good hama shade over
done, isn't it?"
Perhaps a shade less wouldn't have
hurt it. Let me get you piece of pie?
NO, thank you. No cold pie for me
when there's hot apples in the oven
I'll tell you what you might do. You
might bring 'em in if you're not toe
tired"
Mrs. Meek departed on her mission
In few moments she reappeared, and
without moving a muscle, placed the
plate of baked apples before her lore
and master. They were about the size
of walnuts and the color of ebony
Judging by the way they ratified on the
plate they were rather harder than
fiat.
Mr.. Meek rose with an awful look in
his eye.
I'm afraid" observed his wife, ''they
are like the ham-just Il shade over
done"
IF | ever catch that cat" remarked
Mr.. Meek, as that sleek feline purret
past him with a playful frisk of its
tail. 9TH break every bone in its body
only he described its body with sun
dry adjectives that were very strange
to the ears of Mrs. Meek. At leaet, sc
she said when she described the occur
renee to her bosom friend, Mrs. Mug
gins, next day.-N. Y. Truth.
| Explained.