The morning times., 1896-05-17
TOUR OF A FOUR-|N-HAND.
Through National Park with a
Woman on the Box Seat.
GEYSER IN FULL ACTION
Sad Mistake of the Practical Man,
Who Thought He Had Captured
a Young Bear,
GEYSER IN FULL ACTION
Continued From last Sunday

/ duke III the party-Dy tne great merican
tuft hunter, how did l ever omit mention
ing before this important fact that we
have a live duke in our party. Beer for
| the duke. We dukes all take beer"
| His grace got very red in the face pulled
| his mustache and dropped his monocle
! as he stared fiercely at Larry.
"Ah, here's the cow taking a pitcher
OF Inik from the hands or his assistant.
Now the hen. il ye place. The professor
| wants an egg"
The Russian, who occupied the end seat,
was crowded for room. Take care, ven
| fall off from the bench Mr.. -, Mr. =,
what did We say yer name wasp
Prince shoboorf'' with icy politeness.
We'll. don't shovel off the end OF the
| bench, that's all. Have some cake? No?
| On!- Just IA ady's finger, now. We all know
| ye like lady's fingers Ye've no appetite
miss. It's all of thinkin' of him, TO be
| sure
And so Larry circulated among his
| guests, Jolying everybody and playing the
| host i'll an inimitable manner.
The sun was on it's downward course
and the shadows bad already begun to
grow longer when we We're finally off
| We thought we were at least, but at the
| last moment the busting mamma from
| the far, far West discovered the loss OF one
| OF her ugly ducklings. No denizen of the
| barn. yard ever displayed her concern
lbOlC Or WITH greater energy,
| 1t put stop TO everything else. Even the
Practical Man omitted his cynical com
| nent, and the Professional Beauty for
ouce found herself distanced. As for
Hank, he simply dropped his reins in de-
spar.
amer much cackling on the part of
mamma aud piOus CALCULATIONS ON the
part of the masculine contingent-I resist
the attempt OF referring 1T length TO the
Recording Angel and his Teur-darIing
was found with the little Italian in tie
shade Of pine tree. deeply engaged in
discussion. Metaphysics? Perhaps Young
people are prone to discuss such subjects
you know. What mamma thought about
1t never cared to ascertain. And no one
| knew thought it worth while either.
| simply saw her pounce upon her off
spring, and for the rest of the way the
poor girl sulked OH the back seat with
sister while the Professional Beauty oc.
cupied the tox seat with the Italian.
GEYSER IN ACTION.
'Waal, sal 4 Hank. as we approached the
hotel, "er yer amt In luck! There's the
Old fountain a-spoutin' Jest as er she was
expectin' yer" He Judged the Enthusias-
TIC Woman with his elbow aud smiled ex-
ultingly- Her pleasure seems to have been
our drivers only concern since she climbed
up on the box seat behind him VIII yer
go over y"nder how he asked. ..or air
yer too almighty hnngry?'' We were much
TO hungry, but as no one had the courage
10 datnpen Hanks ardor we drove at once
to the formation.
The greater geyser was saething. boiling
steaming, buhbliug, with all the force aud
energy attributed by the most lurid or
thodoXy Imagination to that celebrated
lake OF fire ana birthstone. A gorv devil
with fiery pitchforks On which to toss his
victims In the sizzling sea, is the one thing
needed 10 complete this hell ~ II inlatu.e
The cackling mamma looked spit efulIy at
our harmless little globe-trnUtcr, the ItaI-
gan count, as II she thought he might sun
ply the deficiency. To the American pro-
Vinclal mind, iran born on the other side
or the water is OF necessity rogue and
roue, possessed of cloven feet, horns and
other deviish attributes, and is suspected
of having designs on every woman ne
meets. This florid matron for example,
never passes our Jolly duke, the Russian
prince or the amiable little Italian without
drawing her skirts aside as II afraid of con,
tamnatlou. The Professional Beauty II ore
cosmopolitan, does not share this aver
sion. on the contrary she Is a born tuft
hunter. and coquets with our titled con-
tlngent at every opportunity. Her girlish
enthusiasm is quite inconsistent with her
crows feet which, understand, never are
pear until woman is past forty. At the
fOuntaln she was the center of the little
groups OF foreigners Lowering and lift
ing her long lashes and rolling her very
fine eyes, she Simperei out her rapture.
THE DUKES OPINION.
Oh, isn't il sweet? Isn't it very. very
sweet? Now Count, now Prince, you like
1t, l am sure. You see we have some
thing in America after all. / wouldn't
miss this for anything. You dear, dear :
Hank, to bring US here right away"
Hank smiled grlmly. Il don't keer eff
she never seed the fountain" ne said, in a
stage aside 10 the Enthusiastic Woman,
TOO much gushin' an fussn' fer me-"
The Duke, with monocle in eye had re-
manned speechless. His English vocabulary
is very limited The Beauty pressed him
Tor an opinion. Dear Duke isn't it lovely?
Don't you think it's perfectly Iovely?"
Gewiss,' said his rgace, lit is ferry,
ferry lovely
We were all of us, much to Hanks salts
faction, properly enthusia stic-a difficult
matter, one must admit, on an empty
stomach. The Rev. DR.. - from New
York evlnced the most interest He is
little man, with a cherubc countenance
giving TO smiling and verbosity, who is
making notes for book on the park
he quoted Scripture at the fountain and
went into rhapsodies until interrupted by
the Practical Man.
Say, Doctor, here's the chance of your
l1e TO snow people what hell is like
Dip some of these sinners into that water
and l guarantee conversion
The Doctor smiled blandlv. rubbed his
rat little hands together, and continued
his Scrlptural quotations We left him
there stlli rubbing his hands, smiling, and
quoting Scripture
Speakin' of parsons said Hank, on our
way back to the hotel, I'VE had one of 'em
here last summer. A regular ole red-hotter.
m lrNar 49, r;,1D
luncE-oasket tourists. The feller that con-
Quoted wanted ter jest rush 'em through
But they stuck TO eittin' their dollars
Wurth, an they wouldn't move from here
tell the FOUNTAIN spouted. Twas Sunday
an the parson he put in his time a-preaChin'
POWERFUL SERMON
Il jess wish yer could hev' heard that
sermon. 1t made cold shivers run down
my spine. He shouted he'll and damnation
so yer could hear him 4 mile off. Called EN-
Flpefs an sarptntS, au' told 'cm to flee
from the wrath to come. An yer bet they
rleed, Ter right in the middle of the preachin'
the ole fountain commenced ter spout Yer
ought ter see the parson run an all the
hnen busters arter him. They war'nt no
more preachin' that day. The ole codger
said he guessed that geyser was sermon
enough fer anybody.
Hank left us at the hotel porch. He gave
d parting Injunction to the Enthusiastic
woman to take sulphur bath. We all of US
profited by his advice. l canremember no
more delightful experience If the gey-
sers inspire thodghts of hades, these baths
carry one near to Paradise After bathing
In the enchan nted waters one feels that sense,
of rest. that glow of comfort, that indif-
ference to the turmoil Of existence which
comes only to those who have attained Mir
vana. Our consequent appetite was not
spiritual. neither was "a fp9 set he fore us