The record-union., 1896-02-03

sand years. we feel confident in the pre-
diction that there would have been a
larger attendance.
The play of cleopatra" was written
by a man named Shakespeare, so he
claims. but Ig. Donnelly says that
Shakespeare is a liar. Shakespeare is
dead and Donnelly can make his bluff
stick. Cleopatra lived in Egypt, Africa.
We give her full postoffice address, to
keep our contemporaries from saying
that we are claiming her for our own
the Gallatin Valley being called the
Egypt of America. Cleopatra was gay
girl. The bull train was the only means
of communication with the outside
world in her day, and she didn't have to
give afternoon teas to keep in the swim.
Bloomers were not fad. In fact, very
little clothes of any kind were neces-
sary. There being no danger of early
frost, the folks there old not have to tie
W their feet in gunny sacks and shovel
a path to the machine when they
threshed their barley crop. AS we have
before remarked, Cleopatra was a trihe
gay. She met Antony at a dance given
in the schoolhouse and she straightway
made mash on him. Antony had one
east at a place called Rome, he got a
little gay himself Things were coming
his way like three-time winner. He
took Cleopatra to all the dances, candy
pulls and school entertainments in the
neighborhood, and none of the home
boys were in it for a minute He told
Cleopatra that his people back in the
States were great. why" said he, one
day, my people back in Mizzoury are
way up"
Are they?" said Cleo.
''Well, 1 would SMILE" said Antony
lowering his voice until it was music to
her ear. 'Purt nigh nearly every gol
darn one of 'em have got gold film in
ther teeth
Antony's wife in the States died about
this time and he had to go home While
he was back there visiting around and
telling stories about the big crops they
raised by irrigation on the Nile, he mar
ried another girl just to please q
brother of hers whom Antony used to
be a chummy with, but who was now
working his farm on shares with the
railroad and an Eastern loan company.
His name was Caesar at the time, but it
is probably Dennis now, for they in
troduced the cash system in all the
stores at that place.
Antony didn't have the nerve TO bring
his wife back with him. So he gave
her a song and dance about not having
mis- house chinked up and promised to
send her a second -class ticket over the
Burlington in the spring.
Caesar got on to Antony through To-
cal paper, which gave several columns
Of its space to young contributors in or
der to make things lively in the neigh
borhood This contributor happened
to be jealous of Antony, and he got
even through the paper.
Caesar came out on a cut-rate ticket
purchased at Kansas City, and Antony,
who was a member of the militia com
pany, dropped onto this and a rusty U.
S. cavalry saber, dying a sure but slow
death Before he did this Cleopatra
made what she thought was foxy play
by sending word to Antony that she had
committed suicide. She thought that
this would cause him to rush to her side
with a stomach pump. But Antony
didn't rush. He pulled out his saber
and making a grand-stand play fell on
it. Not having any clothes on and being
a heavy man, the saber succeeded in
cutting a large-sized sash into his vital
system. He died lingering death to
the tune of 1.-THE Band Played On"
Cleopatra hearing of this, gets ta-
rantula, which stings her where Sadie
wore her beads, and then she grace
fully floats out of existence. Antony is
buried at the expense of the county.
The committee of one hundred kick at
this for it is tax-paying time, but con-
graduate themselves that it is cheaper
than murder trial and an acquittal.
This is the sad story of Cleopatra and
Antony, leaving out some of the dry de-
tails, wherein red lights and several
other things. excepting clothes, figured
and brought cheers where tears were
expected. No stronger evidence that
the play took we'll at Bozeman can be |
adduced than the fact that the
Farmers Rest" near the opera-house
was almost deserted during the per-
Torrance. Everyone was dead, be- |
tween acts, to it's existence, SO intent |
We're they on drinking the delights of
the play.