The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-09-06

sense; She must be able to cook and bake
things that will not be mistaken for the we'll
done thingsof the plutonic geologicalperiod;
she must know how TO make baby clothez by
Intuition, and she must have some money
: value.
Every unmarried woma n in China has q
price. You look her over, according to
sample sent round to the prospective BRIDE
groom's family. and if yO1 like her, why you
take her. Mistakes are not rectified afterthe
man leaves the bargain counter. But while
1t Is entirely business transaction and
lacks in poetic and trombone suggestion,
yetthe possibilities good things nspecial
days are numerous. Fortunes in females
have even bee picked up at the remnant
= counter.
The brutality Of Anglo Saxon sometimes
speaks OF the remna nj counter as tie Mecca
OF Old Maids. where they expose themselv es
Tor sale and a good matrimonial venture.
We rather incline to indorsing the prudence
OF the Chinese matrinionia market
A CONFAB WITH Ii.
And above all do we indorse the intro.
ductioD OF the snickersnee into the House
of Representatives. In private converse
ton with Earl Ii the other day we asked
him if there was such thing as ..cloture'
IN the royal imperial Parlia.aent of Take g
Taikee at Tien-Tsn.
What is cloture,- inquired Lii
1T is what is called cutting off debate
TetoiDed we
No. said he, dra wing his finger across
his wiDdpipe in that easy, accomplished
Jugular vein OF Ills. NO, we do not cut
off debate" With u sinister stress OF his
voice on the word debate, but we do oc-
casiODally cut off the debater"
Alas. Poor Sons OF the Suffering Nevada
and the bleeding Kansas! And alas, Poor
Yorick! What shall become Of you on the
day when the Chinese cloture sh all he rule
We also have vision in which Lii Hung
Tom does not proceed to count a quorum,
but to cut off debate
Behold Ko Ko marching down in front
OF the Speaker desk. with snickersnee aIofr
about t. execute the order Of the chair
Silver Dick is decapitated in the middle
Of the peroration and the stenog,aphers
take him down and out
This is what Earl Ii meant when he told
US that there were too many parties in
this country. There is only one party
'iefp in China, and that is the party of
the Opposition 10 Ii Hung Chang" The
leaders have dropped into oblivion, into
which they were lowered in neat wooden
cnffins No wonder so many parties can
not exist in China. We nevertheless would
favor modified execution of the Chinese
method OF cutting off debate: such as chic
ro!orm, laughing gas or gagging by the
sergeant at arms.
REVERENCE OF TUE AGED.
These and other good things can come
out OF China. one of the remaining good
things is the respect for old age which
is demonstrated in the way they run
the Chinese senate. Just as soon s notice
is given that reverend Confucian will
hit the crime of 'T3 on certain day.
Just that soon will the venerable brethren
his the people on seif-defense. The presid-
ing officer il dreaming Of his summer
holiday, while the criminals OF rs are
bowling with rage as they are denounced
The other seniie brethren are either roll
ing pills behind their Newspapers or are
gazing III the nightmare OF debate And
then the motion 90 adjourn, which neither
In China nor America is debated or on
posed IN the senate, Will be like the mo-
uon n the upper Chinese house that when
We adjourn il be 10 National Ball Park
70 fly the national kite.
There is no diversion so dear to the aged
Chinese statesman as that of Wandering eff
after a pIotracted session over the af-
fairs of nations, to the greensward, sitting
down cross legged and letting the house kite
fly into the atmosphere.
ihis, by the way. is the primitive style