The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-02-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

\ blesslng IN dlsgulse Is only hall
blessing.
A cynic is man who is satisfied
with his dissatisfaction.
Maige -"Why did you paint your
wheel black?" Kate-"Dear me,
ditn't you know was in mourning?'
Pack.
He-'If could but be installed in
your heart as" She -"My heart Is
90 installmeut house. Cincinnati
Enquirer.
He why do they call women the
fair sex?" She ITO distinguish them
from the unfair sex, no doubt "-Rox
bury Gazette.
Teacher" Suppose you were
king, Tommy, what would you do?"
TommY-'I'd never have to wash my
face any more. Texas Siftings.
Reggy quoting HamleD ''If thou
wilt neeIs marry, marry fool"
Maude-"Oh, Tom, this is so sud-
den. New York Evening World.
"Gussie, why did you refuse Smith
ett? Did he show the c.oven foot?"
"No, but he showed the cloven
breath. "-PhiladelphiA Telegraph.
Teacher "What is the chief end of
mau?' Pupil-"rhe barber thinks it
is the head, but the bootblac6 thinks
it is the feet. "---Boston Transcripts.
The Thin One Dear me. You
are losing all your outlines" The
Fat One "Aul you are getting to be
nothing else. "--Cincinuati Enquirer.
Mrs. Snopleigh -''Is it any trouble
to YOU to show goods?" Mr., Cashcall
mo, ma'am. But It's a good deal
of trouble to sell them 50 netimes. -
New York Herald.
In the Restaurant: Waiter -"What
shall ! get for You?' Professor
(absent.minded, reading the bill of
iare) ~ AN busy now; ask me after
dinner "-.-Fliegende Baetter.
He-"Yes; 1 was out sleiehing,
And froze all my fingers. - She (who
wasn't along)-"G don't see how
young man can set the fingers on both
hands frozen. ."-Indianapo,is Jo1rnal.
Squildlg doctor did poor
Jaysmith havel !" McSwilgen -"He
had two of them. One was DIR. D.,
out forgot the nams OF his accom-
plice." - Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
gram.
Miss Passee- az understand you DO
handsome work and make very pretty
pictures. Photographer Yes, miss
but could make natural likeness of
..ou, if you prefer it. it."-Philadelphia
Record
Mrs. Henry Peck-"Bah only
married you because | pitied you
wheu nobody else thought anything
aoout you" Mr.. Henry Peek (wearily)
-"Ah, well, dear, everybody pltles
me now. Punch.
Dealer --"This violin, madam, is a
/ StradivariuS. 1t is Eearly 2Q) years
old" Mrs. Newrich lyon dou't sup
pose l would take that? / can afford
rhe latest style, let me tell you" -
Philadelphia Record.
Would-be Cyclist 81 thought you
fAid that after twelve lessons of an
hour each should know how to ride?"
Cycling Instructor $50 you would,
sir, if you hadn't spent the best part
of the time on the ground. Tit Bits.
"Miss Birdie" falterel young
Moore, sis theirs any hope for me?
Do you think you could ever learn
to-" Then Birdie said, mockingly:
"Never, Moore And the youth went
away ravin' mad Chicago Tribune.
WilleY-'T tell you, it's better in
the end to be honest. Did you ever
know a rogue who wasn't unhappy"
Shalley-"No; but then. one would
hardly expect a rogue 10 be happy ii
he is known "-Plttsburs Chronicle
Telegraph.
Jessie-'Tm SO annoyed at those
criticisms OF my singing at the coz
cert. They speak SO slightingly ot
my voice" Florence -"Still, they
say you were very pretty. - Jossie-
och, but every one Knows that -
Brooklyn Life,
Novel Reading by Proxy: Baroness
Ito lady companion -"rhe beginning
of this novel is horribly duh Have
the goodness, Fraulein BrocGhardt To
read the first two or three chapters for
me; / will then so on with the
fourth. "-Feierabend.
She-''Do you see THAI ,nan who
has been staring at me for quite m
hour?" George with blood poilingl
-"Tde scoundrel Shall ! so aud
and give him my earl?' She shy
| lyl-"No, go ana-and give him
mine, "-Pick-Me'Up.
"Rsmember that politeneas always
pays, my boy" said the baneyoIens
old gentleman 10 the boot5lac5.
'Mebbe, - replied the practical boy,
"but ia rather have nickel than
'thank ye' for backing shoes. -
Pittsburg Chrouicle.Tslegrapa.
Wiie-'I can remember the tima
when you followed M wherever I
went; nov you do not care 90 go a1y-
where with me. / never thought THAI
your love would SO soon grow cold.
''NoDsenss A man doesn't run tor a
street car after be hos caught a.
ResteR Transcript