New-York tribune., 1896-11-23
THE TALK or THE DAY.


A clergyman OF Ludingon. Mich, told his consre-
cation last Sunday that dancing Is sinful. and as an
object lesson left the pulpit for a moment and danced
a few steps After seeing him the congregation rem
dered a unanimous verdict against dancing
Look here" said Brown to his better half I'm
Just sick OF it: treating these animals better 'na,
doP'
wlfe-"IIad it stuffed -,
yes: but would you do that much Tor me! I'LL
lusratod Chips.
Mss NJ C. Collins who has for twenty years been
lahoring as a medical missionary among the Sioux
Indians in an address In Boston the other day told
this story about the Congregational work among the
red men. She has for some years conducted sue
ccssful Fourth Of Juy celebration. In which the
members OF the Congregational Church have taken a
prominent part. Last summer they carried out the
whole celebration without assistance from her or any
other white person. Some Of the other Indians asked
them how they managed so well. They answered
"Oh we're Congrcra torasts. and so we have to
govern ourselves"
More Than lie Expccted.-An old man w was vas break, ,
ing stones one day on country road in Wales, wnen
a gentleman came riding along Bother these
stones a sks :hs them m ont your od my don
where: take them 10 Hades II YOU like: Don't you
think Your ah hey ,f Vs bs ess in Your Hono
way thcre."-tspare Moments
J. l.. Wentworth y. H.. who is niney-three years
old says that there are two acts in his life that ne
recalls with equal pride his vote for Andrew Jack
and FOR Major Mckinley
Advanced -"Ahar'
iiis serene Ilghness the Sultan was absorbed in
thought |, was ra ther too carly In the day for him
"Ahs'' he mused again why 40 these circassan
girls cost me more than they used to cost? have
heard more or less about women being advanced.
wonder II It's A ust"-tDetroit Tribune.
In his Leaders OF Thought" " Archdeacon Sinclair
tells good story OF Eton head master. known as
"Flogging kea,c" Finding one morning row OF
boys in his study. he began. as usual to fog them.
They were TOO terrified at the awful little man TO re-
monstrae III. he had gone halfway down the row.
when one puckcd up courage TO falter out: Please
sir we're not up for punIshment-were a confirmation
class" Never mind" said Or. Keate: II must be
fair all around. and /; will do you good. SO he fin
shed them of.
Informed-"so Mr.. skinner has failed. exclaimed
Yes sab" replied the coored man who was EN-
poyed around the store. ,,.,.,o
"Do you know what his principal liability is?
YES sab rf many mo- folks comes 'roun pes
term i'm he's liable buy hissef er railroad ticket
an lot em settle up de business de bes way dey Kin
-tWashngton Star
Consul General Crlttenden reports from Mexico that
Mexican tobacco may take he place OF the ne grades
Of Cuban tobacco in the markets OF the world. The
report IL an exhaustive review OK the tobacco re-
sources OF Mexico and presents the subject In new
and important Hight. General CrIttenden makes no
a
OF Cuba's tobacco product. but he points out that
under normal conditions Cuba's soil has become i'm
povershed until It can yle.d no more. Under these
circumstances the Consul-General says. the worlds
requirements Of what generally known
Havana cigar6' be supplied only through the
use OF Mexican leaf tobacco.
Preparation-When the steak was brought upon the
table the boarders ground their teeth.
They had previously whetted their appetites.-(De
troit Tribune
Andrew Messer. vice-presldent OF the National
Grange. says that the Grange originated In Wash
!ngton Thirty years ago o. ii. Kelly. clerk In the
Interior Department. was sent out officially to look
into the condition of the Southern farmers and
what means could be taken for their relief. While
making his tour Mr. Kelly. who had been
farmer himself. conceived the idea OF great raternal
order of husbandmen to be conducted cooperative
lines like the Masons This order, he purposed.
should bridge over the differences between the farm
ers OF the North and the South and should teach
them that their interests were Identical. When he
returned TO Washington he told some friends OF his
Idea and the nucleus OF the present organization
then formed by men, all OF them with agri-
cultural interests
First Tramp-Couldn't you work the old dame for
Second Tramp-No: she wanted me to saw wood
II see: she wanted to work you for it"-(Yonkers
Statesman
A prominent Iowa man Is thus quoted In THE
Washington Times: "Proh!Ditlon IN Iowa Is dead
a political issue. The law from the time Of It's pas
sage was practically dead letter. especially In the
big cities and In the sections bordering the Mlsss-
sipp and Missouri rivers. SO the Prohibition people
Of tho State reluctantly forced the conclusion
that the only way Prohibition law be enforced
Is to secure Its passage by Congress by a group
OF adjoining States But to the eyes OF the Iowa
Prohibonls,s the day Of National Prohibition Is
long time off,
country schoolmistress had much trouble with her
pupils. and TO avoid 1t had examples placed before
them Of explanatory or illustrative character.
The effect often unexpected On occasion.
In going their usual reading lesson a line
chosen by the lady which to the merits OF the
scholars. The line read And he was a man OF
limited credit In business" Now, Johnny can you
tell what IL meant by the word credit when used
as In this lesson?' Thus she addressed one OF the
stumbling blocks OF the school. II dunno, marm,"
said Johnnie. looking sheepsh you don't know?"
said the mistress. WELL listen. Supposlng your
mother was to be short OF money at the end Of the
week and needed provisions. what would she do?
She was satisfied that her illustration plain and
awaited the answer. which came thus: WELL marin.
replied Johnnie. II dunno what she would do unless
she pawned DADS Sunday coat for she's pawned
everything else" The subject was Instantly dropped.
style OF illustration.-(Hartford Times.