The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-02-14
GARGLE OUT OF STYLE.

! There is fashion in everything. Med
! icine is not excepted. We are now
told that the medical profession has
! deserted the good old-fashioned gargle.
And they have not only deserted it but
! they have substituted a new fashioned
gargle, which has none of the beauties
and charms of the ancient brand.
The doctors who are responsible for
this abandonment of one of the rhap-
sOdic joys of youth now declare that
solution gargled never really went be-
yond the pOsteriOr pillars and was
merely very nasty mOuth-wash which
diSordered the taste, discolored the
teeth, injured the healthy tissue, and
nauseated the palate without anchor
ating the pharnyI.
This is a pleasant thing to say of the
dear old gargle of childhood. What
has the science of medicine to say in
defense of itself? What right has it
TO torture humanity for centuries and
then sneak out of the responsibility by
declaring that the gargle is no good
anyway?
How often in the glad spring time
of youth has humanity been yanked in
from the backyard and made to ele-
Tate its head and look up to the ceiling
while a learned doctor rammed an
astringent solution down between his
teeth and insisted on him gargling it.
The gargle once mastered was a posi-
tive delight. The boy who could gargle
successfully believed himself to have
reached a high order of intelligence
and TO have mastered one Of the prin-
cipal accomplishments of life. When
called upon by d SoliticOuS parent, he
could take the medicine and with
noise like a drunken man at the bottom
of deep well. gargle the nasty stuff
for an hour and then splash it out and
assume an air of triumph which was
at once the admiratio of his folks and
the pride of himself.
There were many chokes and splut-
tiers and lamentations before the gargle
was mastered. but once accomplished il
was true bliss. Now the science of
medicine comes along and takes the
gargle away, that is the old-fashioned
gargle, and substitutes another for it.
The new gargle is as follows: Take
a tablespoonful of the medicated solu-
ton in the mouth, holding it back in
the throat with the head thrown back.
holding the nose with the thumb and
finger, and making movements of swal-
lowing without letting the liquid go
down the throat.
People who have tried this plan have
willingly died before trying it again.
The man who does it gets absolutely
no credit for it and he may be Strangled
to death. The operation is entirely
silent. There is no sound of rafting
gurgle to max the progress of the treat
ment There is no triumphant CLEAN
in the eve of the boy who is being treat
ed. There is every chance in the world
for tn said boy to fudge" by putting
the liquid over in one corner of his
mouth and not permitting the solution
to get down in behind the posterior pill
lars at all. In short, the new gargle,
invented by a galOOt named Won
Troeltsch, is without any good points
except that it does help the throat. 1t
excludes the important agency of the
curative Imagination and renders it
necessary for an expert gargler to
waste his life accomplishing the gargle
which can only be used for a temporary
and local ailment