Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-08-06

am placed between Two issues
And don't know which like:
IL go down to the seashore po'nsS
~ Ishall have to pawn my bike.
Chicago Record.
Lord Nocount (proudly)-I can trAes
my descent from William the Con-
queror. Cynacus-You have been a
long time on the downward path
Truth.aS E,1 w gctGs ssS co
Mabel-And,so he had the assurances
to demand that you marry him. What
did you say? Ethel--I told HINT
supply was not equal to the denm ndr--
Truth.
The deaf man no longer needs
To walk the railroad ties:s RisptA
The scorcher finds him on the street
And watts him to the skies. ~
indianapolis Journal. afa fsEi var
Cumso--Well, Johnny. how do you
like your new teacher? Johnny-Not
much. She doesn't know anything. To-
day she asked me who discovered
crica.-Brooklyn Life. 5.,.st s,ayw
snow. Eleanor, you weigh 1870 pounds
and the weight gauge on the hammock
registers 800 pounds. Where did that
other 10 pounds come from?" From
N-new York, think. Life.
II see the Jacksons have put screens
all around their piazza" Yes, and
have my opinion of people who are Go
stingy that they won't even let flies SIT
on their porch. "-Chicago Record.
snake hay whilesthe sun Shines 40
Is advic, often Needed.
snake love while the moon shines"
Is oftener needed. i. l,r.g laaf
Washington Star. ssios.g
Bloomer-That man Crafty, why, he
doesn't know enough to come In out
OF the rain. Gloomer-Yes; but he
does know how to hold on to an. um-
brella.-Philadelphias North American.
Miss Keedick-DiG you know that tho
wealthy Ruth Stopaclock was married?
Miss Fosdick-No; is she? Miss Kes-
dick-Yes. Miss Fosdick-Now l know
why people cali il The almighty. dollar.
Judge.
Teacher-Willie. you are to stay in
after school and do three extra exam
pies. Willie-What! and get put out OF
the Scholars Union for workin' over
time? | will, don't Observation-Disclosures
Enquirer.
But what makes you think that
Dawber would make success as a sign
painter?" HE hasn't the least idea
OF punctuation. and IL he ever spells
n word right 1t is only by accident."-
Boston Transcript. s# bHb ~
He told hr.. he had lost his heart. sitg
AS ne gazed in her lovely eyes;
But. alas. the cruel Maid answered.:
why don't you advertiser" s6W
-Up-to-Date.
Miss Fly Is so clever; she can ssell
women shirt waists that fit every
time "Pooh! Miss Clipper Is moro
clever still: she can sell them shirt
waists that don't tit."-Chicagor Ktc-
ord. sQ Hsr
visitor-What makes you so ugly.
Tommy? Don't you love your new
baby brother? Tommy Wiciously)r-
Well, I did till somebody came in, aud
said he looked like me.-SOmervilie
Journal. " rdt
She-How provoking this is! Eye
been waiting an hour for the tide to get
up. He-Yes; but Won shouldn't get
impatient. Remember it's bsen1 ont
nearly all night.-Woonsocket Report
er. .t1r
Smithson-Hello, Dobson, you are
getting stout. aren't you? Dobson-
Well, was getting stout but since, I
bought my wheel have been falling
or iderably.-Pttsburg Chrohicie-
Telegraph. aY~ GUEsN
l thought her mine-my rival watched
Us ride away. then he r
Went straight and bought n tandem, and
OF course that settled me.
-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
shc-Do you remember. Jack, this
day one year ago YOU offered me your
hand and heart and cruelty refused
YOU? IL have thought better of it
since. He-Umph! SO have I.-New
York Herald. .t1rW
: Hobson--How, do you stand on tho
currency question. Dobson? Dobson-
I'm awfully sorry, old man. and I'd
be glad to accommodate you, but the
fact is, I'm brokc.-New York CONNER
cial Advertiser.
80 you enjoy belonging to the Fat
Mems Club?' 'Oh, yes: It is delightful.
What are some of the pleasuresY"
why. every fat man in the club dis
covers at once that all the other men In
the club are fatter than he is.y--Louis-
Vile Courier-Journal.
Don't you gekzRwfulkyvtred doing
nothing all the thfcr' asked the young
man who thought himself intexrstcd In
sociology. Mister answered. Peary
Pathetic, Il git SO tired doin's 'riothin'
that can't do nothin' else.u-U ntin-
natl Enquirer. - q iafn;cns,f
Man with awful toothache meets n
friend and tells him his woes The
friend-Ah. I had just as bdd 4 tooth
ache as you yesterday. and, I went
home, and mysw1S pitied me, and kiss
ed me. and made 81 MUCH ofxiS& that
the toothache disappeared You stake
my tip. The achyne-Is your wife at
home now. do you think ?-woonsocket
Reporter ~ e1fpt q -
-st So.