The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-11-25
WHY HUSBANDS DESERT
The Cause of the 400 Deserted
Wives Discussed.
Judge Hazen Says 1t Is Hard
Times, Largely.
Harry Stafford Says There are Too
Many Forced Marriages - Mrs
Case Says Meddling Friends
are Frequently to Blame

three a week. Not a great many Of the
i women who are almost daily deserted
4 by their husbands get divoces, at least
not Immediately. A woman, or most
{ women, like to live in hopes as the
Z saying is.-though many times too Oft
I en- the hope is most unc0mfortably
smaIl-that The win return and make
them happy again.
The clerk Of the district court can
testify that occasionally there are two
to four divoces filed in one day.
OF course not nearly all of these are
! granted Some few but very few are
/ contested and refused. A considerable
number Of them are withdrawn before
/ they ever get to trial, either because
/ the husbands has returned or because
the wife concludes she does not wish to
afford him the satisfaction Of a legal
separation just at present
Undoubtedly says Mrs Thorpe. po-
lice matron; there are many more
cases Of the kind in Topeka than there
used to be, and they are constantly in
creasing. Times are harder for one
thing and when some men find out they
cannot support q family they leave it.
There is another reason / have thought
of often and that is that too many
young people marry in haste and find
out they are not suited. Perhaps he
cant support her and they go to the
parents Of one Of them to be supported
If 1T is her family they rail at her
about her bad choice and denounce him
until they quarrel and he leaves"
Judge Hazen who has probably
Z
judge that ever sat on the Shawnee
county bench has thought about the
matter good deal
1T seems to me that the solution is
easy" he said In the first place there
is this class: A good many young fell
lows from the east possessed of the
rowing spirit come west and stop here
for a time. They get positions, meet
some girl here and after a short court
ship in which they do not often get too
well acquainted, marry. In short time
he ma fraf IF eqt lao ST
steady work. His wife becomes a bur
den to him. He tires of her and under
pretext Of going west to look for work
gets away and never comes back. He
has no ties to hold him.
Another reason is that in the last
few years times have been hard and
money scarce. Men who were ordinarily
able to take care of a wife find that they
/ are 50 reduced in circumstances that they
cannot keep up the appearance or style
or living that one or both of them has
satisfied. They gradually come to quar-
rel and finally there is an estrange-
ment that leads to a separation and
finally a divorce.
Then there is the case OF the man
who dOeSn { Intend to leave his wife
but gradually grows to it. I mean the
man who has lived with his wife@and
perhaps ne has a family too-in a rea-
sonably happy manner. He gets out Of
work here. With her permission and
even in many cases her help he leaves
her and this part of the country to find
work. He means all right He goes to-
say Colorado, and gets a position but it
hardly pays enough to send for her or
is not sure enough as steady thing
and he contents himself with sending
her a good share of his earnings and
writing often. He forms new friend
ships, some of them with women per
haps His letters grow fewer and
shorter and his remittances less. Final
ly IN time they cease altogether; he
takes up with some other woman or WO-
men and before he realizes it he has
placed himself in such a position that
he is ashamed to go back and she is
what is called deserted.
In the east this condition does not
exist If man stays in the least, hav-
ing been raised there, long enough to
marry and start a family he Is pretty
apt to remain where his ties, natural
and acquired, are and he settles down
for life and scrapes a living together
as best he can.
Fl see much Of the marriage and sep
aration question here. A good looking
young woman comes into court one day
with her witnesses and shows me that
for one wear her husband has failed to
support her or live with her and there
is nothing left for the court to do but
grant the divorce she asks.
II feel justified in saying that in nine
out Of ten divorce cases in this court
there is no contest or defense and the
prayer is granted by default. The man
70 the divorce proceedings against him
if he ever hears of them. -
In his position as county attorney for
the past four years Harry Stafford has
had much to do with the domestic af-
fairs Of people who separate ana get d.
vorces.
t'The great trouble" he saws. sqs that
too many marriages are made in this
world that never should have been made
at all, too many made in haste with the
result lhat before long Do1n the man and
the woman discover all too harshly that
follow, and IN turn a separation and di-
tam class OF people compulsory mar
riages are frequent, marriages in which
the parents Of the girl insist and either
q marriage or a penltentlary are yaWn-
ing i'm the young mans path. He lodges
nsIfyllg the girl lie had no desire to
now What is the result2 Just as soon
a. II Il possible ne leaves her In the
first place he won't support her. then he
her ana she goes through the divorce
court after waiting a year that she may
/ file that al-copceahng plea Of non-sup-
port or abandonment and courts her vir-
tue and her reputation is saved.
More divorces are perhaps caused by
lnnqehty on the side OF the wife or the
husband than any other way. The wife
Wnich Is me guilty one i IS the husband
with a formal, binding plea to save dis
IF people did more. thinking and were
more honest with each other before mar
rage there would not be 50 many mis-
mate marriages and SO much misery aft
er them.
one Of the leading humanitarians of
the city, and she is also a lawyer and has
had to do with divorces and separations
temporary and permanent that never
reached the courts. IS Mrs. L. o. Case
1t is Mrs. Cases theory that Once mar
RED always married" and she works
upon it. No couple that comes to her
for a divorce gets 1t if she can talk them
out of it. fee or no fee.
In felicity and selishness.e she says
are at the bottom of most divorces or
separations I believe that any couple
could get along all right together if
neither one or the other wanted it all
their own way. That is the great trou-
BILE He spends too much money for him
self and She wants to spend too much
for herself. Or perhaps one of them