Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1896-02-08

I
The other evening trio OF congressman
sat among the audience at the Ice Palace
watching the skaters. They were evident
ly old chums, as they slapped one another
on the back and used only their first
names. In front of them were two forlorn
individuals struggling with the initial
movements of skating, falling and sprawl
ing all over the ice.
Suddenly one of the Congressman burst
into hearty laugh and inquired of the one
furthest from him:
'"Tom do you remember the time taught
you to skater"
YES and I guess I'll never forget 1t.
OF course the third NJ. C. wanted to know
the Joke and 1t was narrated by the first
speaker.
"You see I used to be one of the best
skaters III my neighborhood. and Tom kept
nagsing at me day after day to take him
to the pond and teach him. My brother
had an OIL pair of skates, and took them
and fled the edges perfectly round gave
them 10 Tom and we started for the ice.
he under the impression that the more like
sled runner the blade of the skate was
the better he could glide along. Poor TEL
low Tom put on the skates and L gave
hin, shove. Well sir, he no sooner struck
the ice than his feet shot up and he came
down with bump that sounded like
cannon shot. He got up and bravery struck
out again. but only to get harder fall
This performance he repeated until he mad
struck about every square inch on tnat
pond All the time / sat on the bank roar
ing with laughter. Finally, Tom fell down
IN the middle Of the pond almost helpless,
and i, as fitting climax, fell on the PARK
and broke through the ice. Tom fished me
out and turned the laugh on me- L mad 70
compromise with him by taking off his
skates. We returned home. he covered with
bruises, covered with mud and icicles, but
each enjoying the joke on the other
: x x
There is one young man in this city who
possesses a truly patriotic SOUL He Is
often complimented on his neat appearance
and one of his vyeaknesses is neckties. Inc
other day he went into leading furnisher ,
to lay in supply. After his desire was
made Known. the clerk arranged many
boxes en- the case to display the stock
Here IS something in the latest French
designs" the clerk sad politely.
The face of the purchaser assumed dis
satisfied expression and he turned 10 some
thing more domestic looking
Here we have the newest rom London
L don't like that either.
Again that shadow of disgust fiitted over
tha Young mans cOui:teGance, and again
the moor clerk thinking that the tastes OF
his customer demanded something more
aristocratic, brought out several boxes
more 49,
market, and these are some more HnS'iSii
novelties whiSh-
..Oh, = your English goods Give me
something red. white and blue, WITH an
American eagle on top
wanted
Miss Absent-Minded recently rented ore
of her rooms TO a well-kuown physician
and agreed to answer the telephone IN the
absence of the doctor or the servants
This was an agreeable duty, and was cneer-
fully performed until she was awakened
one morning, early and still quite dark
nv what seemed to be the familiar call
Then she rebelled and refused to get UP OUT
of a warm bed and go down two flight OF
stairs a cold morning for any doctor or any
telephone. But her conscience troubled her.
She did not hear anyone respond to the
call and the thought forced itself into ber
mind that perhaps some very sick person
needed a physicians care She tried te
persuade herself that perhaps it wasn't the
TELEPHONE after all, but only an magma
ton of hers. Still. she wasn't quite salts
fled and resolved to do differently II the
occurrence were ever repeated. the oppor
tunity came sooner than she expected
Early next morning, when 1t was just al
dark and just as cold as before, there
sounded the whirr of the bell. Reluctantly
she arose to respond. and fastened to Inc
first floor to answer Hello" There was NJ
response. Her repeated efforts to extort 6
message from the other end OF the wire
were unavailing, so. hanging up the re
ceiver she trudged back upstairs thorough
Iy disguised And to this feeling were add
ed those OF anger, and wrath, and all the
others in the category when 1t dawnea upor
her that the alarm clock in the servant:
room had been faithful to it's trust o.
he household.
* X X
They had been talking about various sub
jects, when the conversation turned t
funerals The funniest funeral 1 ever at
tended she said. never needing the shock
ed look the other gave her, was enc a
which the girls of the household seemed i'm
pressed with the ilea that they ought t.
make loud protestations of their grief 81
that they continually interrupted the ser
vice with their laments and hys.erical sob
bling. One kindIy-disposed soul who wishet
to impart some ray of comfort to the be
reaved, leaned over to them, and in a whis
per which could be heard over the Who'll
room. said: Never mind; you can go GU
to the cemetery as often as you like"
X x 4
In one of the government department
there are six male clerks, who work in tn
same room, five of whom have overeoat
SO much alike that a great deal of confusion
II
fact. that recently three of the five hay
provided themselves with private coatracks
leaving the main coatrack to the remaining
two. in order to avoid these unpleasant mis-
takes. After this change, everything Wen
along very smoothly Until the other day
mistake occurred, which caused more trou
BILE than all the past ones put together, an
which, for time. created no little amour
Of domestic unpleasantness. One of tn
two clerks who used the main coatrack re
ceived a note from his wife the other da
to the effect that she would do q little shop
ping that day, and to save her trouble all
annoyance. requested the husband to tax
dinner with her at an eating house uptown
After reading the note the gentleman wen
to the rack and placed the note in the In
side pocket of an oyercoat which he sur
posed was his own-but ii happened to b
the "other fellows" Nothing more wa
thought of the matter. On the followin
morning the wife of the clerk In who's
pocket the note had been placed by mis-
take discovered 1t in her husbands poke
and of course trouble followed, both sir
names being the same and the signature t
the note bearing only the first name Whe
her husband came down to breakfast tn
wife asked, Indignantly: How did you en-
JOY that little dinner uptown yesterday
dearest
What are you talking about?" reptile
the husband, a little ncttled.