The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-10-03


Washington Star.
Poet-How do you know the editor
isn't in? Ofice-boy-From your looks
Puck.
First Tramp-Wuz you ever married?
Second Tramp-Well, list wish | had
all the alimony l owe.-Puck.
Weren't you surprised when he pro-
posed?7 no; why should beY" "Ev.
erybody else was" Harlem Life.
Never Touched Her: He-Don't Won
ever tire of talking? She (ouickIvl-
1t depends upon who Is talking.-vogue.
Artist-That man Bacon offered me-
$12 for that largest painting of mine.
Caller-Oh, then you've had 1t framed3
-Yonkers Statesman.
She-Young Baggie, I believe takes
his fences well? He-Yaas splendid
ly; but it's pity his horse doesn't take
'em at the same time.-Sydney Bulle-
tin.
"Therer' Kissed the jealous Moor.
show do you feel now? Down in
the mouth" gasped the irrepresslble
Desdemona from beneath her pillow.
Puck
1T is simply astonishing the way the
bicycle is displacing the horsew 1T Is.
indeed. Yesterday l found a piece of
rubber tire in my SAUSAGE Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Brown-Have you read this article
upon How to Tell a Bad Egg?" Jones
No, but If you have anything to tell
a bad egg, my advice is to break II
gently.-Up-to-Dat
Miss Rechere Qndignantly)-Did Won
tell Jim Jackson dat eff he married me
he'd hab a white elephant on bees
hands? Miss Snofalke-No, indeed. |
didn't. Do yo' fink Use color-blind?-
Puck.
Amicus-Why, do you use the ex-
preston funny joke? Aren't all jokes
funny? Editor-Not by a long shot.
The jokes that other fellows get off
at your expense are never funny
Truth.
1T seems to me, Miranda" mildly
observed Mr.. Meeks, these cakes
would be considerably improved by the
addition of little more ginger" so
would you, William" briefly responded
Mrs. Meeks.-Chicago Tribune.
well, girls, Jack and | are to be
married at last, and we are so happyw
Did you and Jack have some trouble
IN getting your fathers consentT mo.
papa and had lot of trouble in get
ting Jacks consent. "-Exchange
Mrs. Brown have been so annoyed
at my husband. He has been at the
club every night for a week. Mrs.
Jones-Why, so has my husband, and
| he said he hadn't seen anything of your
husband for a week.-Brooklyn Life.
, Shelf seems strange that men are
no longer willing to do deadly combat
for the love Of woman. He-Ain't II
. queer, though: Especially when WON
en- have so much more money of theiI
. own these ys.-Indianapolis Journal
Il once knew a man." said the i'm
he was actually taller lying down thar
when he was standing up. What do
3 you think of that?" 1T strikes me-
said the cheerful idiot, 'as pretty tai
lying.'-lndianapolis Journal.
A Dangerous Text well, Uncl
Rasbury, how did you like the sermonT
, "Pow'ful fine sermon, Marse John.
: Where did the preacher take hl
. text" "Frum dat potion oh de Scrip
ture whar de Postol Paul pints his pis
= tol to de Fesions. Washington Times
\ Fair Patient-Is there no way of tell
J. Ing exactly what is the matter wit
n mef DIR. Emdee-Only a post-morteI
4 examination would reveal that. Fal
Il Patient-Then, for heavens sake, max
IS one. don't see why l should b
4 squcamish at such time as this.-Picl
a Me-Up.
- Modern society" observed the yonn
man, contemplatively, has revise
most of the old-time proverbs" Yes,
observed the chaperon, to whom he ha
d just handed an ice, 'for instance, nov
d adays we say, When the husban
lie comes In at the door, the lover hies OF
lie of the window Exchange.
= First Summer Glrl-Are you going
d, that old Christian Endeayor meetin
~ this evening? Second Summer Girl
Yes, indeed, Haven't you heard Il
~ subject to be discussed? First Summ'
IT, Girl-No; what is It? Second Summ'
- Girl-"How to Hold Our Young Men
Is New York Press.
f. 81 was very glad, Mabel, to see yc
n. among those who were received In
K. the church last Sunday" "fes, aunt
3 but was so provoked with the cierg
es man! He gave me the old-style, u
er fashionable handshake. And he gets
h. salary Of $4,000 yearr'-Chicago Tri
N une.
ee "Rastus, you internal niger, yC
a told me that mule was perfectly sal
IN and when l went Into the stable
on nearly kicked the top of my head of
pr Yes, sab; sayed de mewl wuz sal
al sab. But eff yo' kin reccollect, l did
NJ say muffin about wedder 1t was sa
TX In his vicinity. Dat mewl is at
oh enough to be safe anywhar. WAS
i! ington Star.