davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
perils of q Joke In Germany.

This story illustrates the perils Of
practical joking in Germany: Eighteen
months ago four gentlemen Of leisure
mess in Bullay. They rode about with
a cabby and drank wine until they were
overtaken by the conditions Of mind
and body which accompany these per-
formances at German festivals. Then
they began to dispute with the cabman
as to the weight Of his horse and cab
Eventually they offered him 80 pfen-
nigs-or about IL cents-a pound for the
whole equipage. He accepted the offer.
The horse and cab went on the scales
and registered 5000 pounds. The whole
outfit was worth about $75, so the cab
man FASTENED to surrender it and de-
mand his IL cents Il pound, or $500 in
ALL The four gentlemen Of leisure then
protested that it was all mistake, q
joke, in fact, and they couldn't think Of
paying $500 for $75 equipage. They
went away, but the cabman sent horse
and cab after them by express G. o. D.
When the four gentlemen Of leisure
refused to follow the practical part Of
the joke farther, the cabman sued them.
He carried on the case from court to
court, in response to their appeals from
each successive decision in his favor, and
two weeks ago obtained the final judy
ment in his favor from the high court Of
justice in Coblcnz The costs meantime
had risen to $40, so the four gentlemen
Of leisure were ordered by the court to
pay 5000, all told. That is the total cost
Of the practical joke about the claimants
$75 outfit, excepting the private retain
ers which, for the defense Of tho four
jokers through the steady legal fight Of
year and half, are said to amount to
about 5000 more. The Bullay cabman
has bought pair and a victoria and has
gone to Berlin to carry meA with titles
and spurs on their boots.-New York
Sun.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06

"Eothen" Kinglake was great friend
of Nine. Olga de Novikoff during her
sojourn in England, where one feature
Of her entertainments was afternoon
musicals to which none but dilettanti
were invited. On one occasion Kinglake
presented himself, and as an intimate Of
the house was admitted. He retired to a
corner and listened attentively. Madame
was surprised, but pleased and ap-
preaching him said: (Which order Of
music do you prefer, my friend-classic,
Italian or the Wagnerian school? fancy
you do not know our great Glin<a!"
II assurcdly am fond Of music" he an
swered, "but my taste is perhaps pc
culiar. AS an instrument l prefer the
drum" Madame took measures to pre-
vent his being admitted to these assem-
blies again.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
Notice..

All persons are hereby notified that
the provisions OF sections l and ., OF or
dinance No. 80, must be observed, as
persons violating the same will be pun
ished as provided in Sec. OF said ord
nance, which is fine OF not less than S.
nor more than $40. The sections follow:
SECTION |. 1t shall be, and it is hereby
declared to be unlawful for any person to
ride and operate vehicles known as We
locipedes, and other like vehicles, in and
upon certain sidewalks within the city
limits of the city OF Aberdeen within the
territory in this section hereinafter speci-
fed, to-wit: upon the sidewalks OF +
street between the Chehalis river and the
ALLEY between Heron andWishkah streets,
and upon the sidewalks of Heron street
between the bridge over the Wishkah
river and | street, and upon the side
walks OF streets intersectng sail + and
Heron streets within the above-named
limitations between said last two named
streets and the alleys next adjacent
thereto and running parallel herewith.
SEC =. 1t shall be the duty of every
person riding and operating velocipede
Or other like vehicle upon any OF the side
walks within the city of Aberdeen, to
have attached to such vehicle an alarm
bell, and it shall be the duty OF every
such person 50 riding to ring such bell at
any time when they are approaching any
person or persons upon such sidewalk
when the person 50 ridingis within twen-
ty feet of person or persons so being up
on such sidewalk but this section shall
not be construed as licensing any person
to ride and operate any such vehicle with
in the territory limited and named in
section one OF this ordinance.
S. X. BowEs, City Mar shall
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
THE AORSELeSS CARRIAGE.
The Perfect Vehicle Will Come Into Use
Slowly but Surely.

y little reflection will convince any
one that the use Of motorcycles, or, in
other words, horseless carriages. will
improve the roads. General NORM Of
France is authority for the statement
that the deterioration Of common roads,
except that which is caused by the
weather, is two-thirds due to the wear
Of horses feet and one third due to the
wheels of vehicles. This being the case,
If the same amount rs usual continue
to r. laid out upon the roads, and the
continual damage decrease two-thirds,
then the amount spent will go to in
creased and permanent improvement,
and the roads will be ''as smooth as q
barn floor.
There are many questions to be
solved, many difficulties to be sur
mounted, before the unexceptionable
vehicle appears. 1t was long time be-
fore the difficulties of making sewing
machines, revolvers, repeating rifles,
typewriters and typesetters were over.
come Yet, examine them! 1t is all
plain and simple, and not at all marvel
Gus now, and We can hardly imagine
how any mechanic could spend years Of
time studying over such easy problems.
So it will be with the motorcycles The
mountains of difficulty will sink into
molehills, and the ingenuity displayed
will be found to take the form Of judi
cious application of ordinary mechanic
al appliances, approved by the final
umpire, the common sense Of mankind.
Those who build automobiles must
not permit themselves to think that they
were born with all the carriage makers
lore inherent in them. A man may be
q first class theoretical and practical
mechanic and not be able to make a
good vehicle to run on wheels. The per
feet carriage, as we know it today, is
the aggregate Of the years Of exhaustive
trial and experiment and the improve
rxents on that experience made by / 900
men of genius.
If the carriage builders bestow upon
the new carriage all the art acquired in
building the old, and the motorcycle
men learn the reasons Of the convention
alities of the trade and adapt their i'm
provements to them with reference to
the opinions Of those who are not preju-
diced against innovation, they will
both work together in harmony and
with one purpose, and, so united, they
will make rapid progress in the devel-
opment Of the inevitable vehicle Of the
future. -Cassier's Magazine.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
BEAR SAWED THE LOGS.
Strange Tale Of woodsman and the IF.
fects of Mince Pie.

Il don't like to repeat a story about
true, said Phil Kinney. Mr.. Kinney
never tells story except with the most
serious countenance, writes CORE
spondent of the New York Press.
"A farmer" he said, from Forest
burg was here recently, and he told me
Of an experience he had out in the
woods, and I'll give up my dinner if I
don't think he told the truth. You see,
he is one of those honest old fellows
who drink hard cider around home. He
says plain cider doesn's hurt him, but
when he comes here he winks at me and
says, Put little in my cider.
well, sir. he was getting out rail-
road ties down where he lives. He uses
in doing it one Of those big, double
handled cross cut saws.
Says he: 4 was a-sawin away out
thar in the snow, with my little fox
terrier nosin round in tho bushes after
jacks, when he sudden like puts his tail
twixt them slender legs O. his'n and
digs out fer hum. ] kinder looked
round, but blessed ef could set them
eyes o. mine on enything out the Or
binary. kept on a-sawin till it gifts
time to eat my old woman's bits.
l set down on log an ct away,
an sets the pail down when was
through, an saved my mince pie fur a
little later. I fell into doze, an when
l come to waz half skairt outen my
boots by blasted big black bear sittin
longside an eatin my mince pie. knew
better II to try 10 get up 'foro he could
swat me with his paw. So l sets still,
a-shakin and a-shiverin Purity soon I
heard them whistles ALLOWING for
o'clock down in Port Jervis. Then the
funniest part o the hull business COM
menced. That they're bear jes' wipes
his nose i'll the SHOW an goes over AT
ketches hold that saw and went to work.
BY gosh wuz expectin that no
would do some sort o trouble to 1t, al
it wuz the only saw he'd. But no
didn't. He sawed off four or five logs
jes' the right length, an then he saw
the rest o that tree wuz too small fer
use as ties, an he looked round fer an
other tree. But there wuzn none down,
so he sets the saw up agin q tree an
goes off.
II said to him them" continued
Phil, You better have little more
cider He took a big drink and then
another Then he says: Phil, don't
want you to laugh at me, but went
down there mex day, an cut down six
trees, an put two mince pies an tho
saw longside the first one IN went IN
hid behind q tree. I waited till q
o'clock, but that blasted bear never
showed ND. "
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
Should Plays BE Printed?

Moliere objected to the printing Of his
plays on the ground that they were
meant to be acted on the stage, with the
costumes, scenery and illusions per-
tanning thereto, and not to be read in
the closet 1t was also inferred that
Shakespeare entertained the same notion
as Molierc, seeing how Indifferent he
was as to the fate of his plays SO long as
they were popular on the stage. There
is also the explicit declaration Of Hey
wood i'll the following terms:
SIT hath been no custom in me Of all
other men courteous readers) to COM
nit my plays to the press. The reason,
though some may attribute to my own
insuf1iciency, I had rather subscribe in
that to their severe censure than by
seeking to avoid the imputation Of weak
ness to incur greater suspicion of hon
csty, for, though some have used dou-
BILE sale of their labors first to the stage
and after to the press, here proclaim
myself ever faithful to the first and
never guilty of the last"
The autn6r of the most successful
comedy Of modern times exhibited the
silllc llulucIcllce 10, Ut Tdtllcr ulSllkc
of, the printer. When 'The School For
Scandal met with SO brilliant recep-
ton, from it's first appearance on May
s, 1777, Ridgway, the publisher, agreed
with Sheridan as to its publication, but
he never succeeded in getting the manu-
script. He applied to the author in vain,
and at length got an answer. Sheridan
said that he had been 10 years endeavor-
ing to satisfy himself with the style Of
the play, but had not yet succeeded.
The printing of the play was done in
dependently of the author. He presented
manuscript copy of it to his married
sister, Mrs. Lefanu, at Dublin, to be
disposed Of for her own advantage to the
managers Of the Dublin theater This
brought her 100 guineas and free admis-
sions to the theater, and it was from the
manuscript thus procured that the Dub
lin edition was printed. Notes and
OuerieS
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
Household Hints.

Save all the paper bags. They are most
convenient to draw over cans of fruit to shut
out the light; the hand can also be slipped
into one when cleaning the stove, as we'll as
in doing much other household work which
is hard on the hands,
Fine shavings from soft pine wood make
very pleasant pillow that may be utilized
for comfort If you have hammock.
For damp closets or cellars put shallow
dishes Of unslacked lime and change often.
Vinegar will remove lime from carpets.
To clean articles of papier mache wash
them with little lukcwarm water and
soap. after which rub them vigorously with
sweet oil.
1t saves timeand leather to have a broom,
brush and dustpan for every floor in the
home.
Before beginning to seed ratsins cover
them with hot water and let them stand Is
minutes. The seeds can then be removed
easily.
To keep salt dry for table use mix tea
spoonful OF cornstarch with cupful Of salt.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
An Island City.

Greater New York consists Of DO is
lands-just as many as there arc now
stars in our flag 1t might be called the
Island City. Read the names Of some Of
the larger: 1. Manhattan island. 2.
Long island. 3. Staten island. 4.
Hart s island. 8. City island. 6. Riker's
island. 7. North Brothers. island. 8.
South island. 8. Blackwells island. 10.
Randall's island. IL. Wards island.
~. Berrian' 8 island. ID. Governor g is-
land. IA. Barren island. 10. Coney is
land.
Many small ones in Jamaica bay have
as largo names. One inland island,
Marble Hill, near Kingsbridge, has been
made by the government channel cut
through on the Harlem river improve.
ments. New York Dispatch.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06

Where the high gloss of vanished sur
face is considered an objection the floor,
a5ter being stained, may be polished with
beeswax and turpentine. 1t takes some
hard work and plenty Of elbow grease to
get anything like good surface on the
floor, and most domestic polishers are sat
isfied with what they are pleased to call an
eggshell polish--in other words very little
polish at all.
Instead of wax polishing, the compare
lively old fashioned method of oil polish
ing may be adopted. Linseed oil-raw or
boiled-is rubbed into floor with a rub
Der and the more rubbing the better for the
look of the floor when finished.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
LAND OFFICE AT OLYMPIA, WAsH.t
LulY G. lSAi [

LAND OFFICE AT OLYMPIA, WAsH.i
July G, 1896
Notice is hereby given that the following
named settler has filed notice of his intention
to make final proof in support OF his claim, and
that said proof will be made before H. NJ.
Sutton, Commissioner of L. $. Circuit Court for
the District of Washington, at Montesano,
WASH. on saturday, August %, 1896, VIZ:
CHARLES d. HURD,
OF Hnmptulips, Wash, IId Entry No. 1901, for
the L 4 OF Section 81, in Township u North
of Range West.
He names the following witnesses to prove
his continuous residence upon ana cultivation
of. said land, viz: Gustavus Murhard, =. NJ.
Newbnry. Newton BrItton, n, l.. Altman all of
lIumptulips, Washington.
And viz:
GUSTAVUS MURHARD,
Of IIumptnlips; Wash. 10. Entry 10. 1914, for
NJ OF SEA- SWl, OF SEit, SCI of SWi of Sec
See. 3, Twp 90, North OF Rye 10 West.
He names the following witnesses to prove
his continuous residence upon and cultivation
of, said land, viz: Charles D. Hurd +. NJ. New
bury, Newton Britton, n. l.. Altman, all of
Humptulips, Wash.
JESSE +. MURPHY, Register.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06

A capital story is told by well
known bishop concerning the squire OF
a parish Of which he was formerly vicar.
This gentleman had rooted objection
to his pew being invaded, and upon one
occasion, at the conclusion Of a service.
he came to the vicar with bitter CON-
plant against stranger who, unlimited,
had ventured to intrude into the pew,
which was large, old fashioned, square
structure, capable Of holding nine-they
two, the squire and the intruding visit
Or, being the only occupants.
II would not" added the squire,
disturb divine service by putting him
out violently The only thing I could
do with propriety was to sit on his hat. ="
London Tit-Bits
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
Singular Compliment,

An author some time ago received q
singular compliment. A burglar broke
into his house and found the manuscript
Of a novel, which he took, leaving the
following note: "Sir-I began to read
your novel, and was SO deeply inter-
ested in it that was obliged to carry it
away, but it will be faithfully returned
when finished" The manuscript was
duly sent back, with really clever
critique on it.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
Timber Land, Act June 3, S7S-Notice
for Publication.

United States Land Oflice,t
Olympia, Wash, May -, 1896,
Notice is hereby given that in compliance
with the provisions of the act OF Congress OF
June 3, 1875 entitled "An act for the sale of
timber lands in the States of California, Oregon,
Nevada, and Washington Territory" as cX-
tended to all the Public Land States by act OF
August A. 1892,
B. A. TERRY.
OF Markh Chehais county. state OF Wash
ington, has this day filed in this Office his sworn
statement No. 397, for the purchase OF the North
east quarter of Section No. 2G, in Township
No. l6 north, Range No 10 west, and will offer
proof to show that the land sought is more
valuable for its timber stone than for agri-
cultural purposes, and to establish his claim to
said land before the Register and Receiver of
this Office at Olympia, Wash. on saturday, the
Sth day of August 1896.
lie names as witnesses: d. y. Little, of Mark
ham, Wash; J. A. Lewis, OF Markham. Wash.
o. A. Myers OF Aberdeen, Wash; A. W. Bush.
Of Aberdeen, Wash.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
abovV-describcd lands are requested to file
their claims in this office on or before said Sth
day of August, 1886.
JESSE F. MURPHY, Register.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

Land Office at Olympia Wash.
July n, 1867
Notice is hereby given that the following
named settler has filed notice of his intention
to make final proof in support of his claim, and
that said proof will be made before ii. NJ.
Sutton, Commissioner OF U. S. Circuit Court
for the District of Washington, ut MontcsauO,
Wash. on Friday, September 1, 1896, viz:
JOHN WINTERS
of Humptulps, Wash Id. Entry No. 400, for
the east - of northwest = and Lots ! and 2,
of Section lg, in Township q North Of Range
West
He names the following witnesses to prove
his continuous residence upon and cultivation
Of, said land, viz: Michael Haley, Henry Ebert
ing, Iathy McTaggert II. J. Starr all of Hump
tulips, Washington.
JESSE F. MURPHY, Register.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
English Ship Names,

The naming Of ships is one Of the
difficulties that the admiralty overcome
by using the old names over and over
again. TO adopt a new uame into the
navy seriously interfcrcs with the scrv-
ice signal books.
The old names are in the code, and
are as convenient for the ships Of today
as for those Of Nelson's time. But the
introduction of a new name neccssitatcs
an alteration in all the books. That is
why the old names survive generation
after generation. London World.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06

As remedy for all forms Of Headache
Electric Bitters has proved TO be the very
best. 1t effects q permanent cure and the
most dreaded habitual sick headaches
yield to its influence. We urge all who
are afflicted to procure a bottle, and give
this remedy fair trial. In cases OF ha-
btual constipation Electric Bitters cures
by giving the needed tone to the bowels,
and few cases long resist the use of this
medicine. Try it once. Large bottles
only 80 cents at W. +. Paine & Co.'S
drug store.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
More Keen Than Kind.

Hostess-Well, there is one very
creditable thing I can say about my
husband. We have lived together over
20 years now, and during all that time
l have never heard him swear once.
What do you think Of that?
Gucst-I think it tho most remark
able case Of self control l ever heard of.
Boston Courier.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
LAND OFFICE AT OLYMPIA, WASH,

LAND OFFICE AT OLYMPIA, WAsH.,l
June &c. 1861
Notice is hereby given that the following
named settler has filed notice of his intention
to make final proof in support Of his claim, and
that said proof will be made before II. NJ
sutton Commissioner OF L. 5. Circuit Court for
the District of Washington, at Montesano
Wash on Friday, August Z, 1896, viz
ROBERT WARD,
OF IIumptuips, Wash, Id. Entry No. 1901, for
the ) w 4 OF Section 70 in Township 81 north
OF Range west. He names the following wit
and cultivation of, said land, viz: Lee Braden
Rodney l.. Schell, Albert Staples, Frank Osborn
all of llumptulips, Wash.
JESSE +. MURPHY, Register.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
Timber Land Act June 3, 1S7S-Notice
for Publication.

United States Land Office,
Olympia, WASH, July %, 1861
Notice is hereby given that in compliance
with the provisions of the act of Congress of
June 3, 1873, entitled "An act for the sale of
timber lands in the States of California, Oregon,
Nevada, and Washington Territory" as ex-
tended to all the Public Land States by act Of
August 4, 1892.
ALFRED F. COATS,
of tIumptulips, county of Chehalis, state of
Washington, has this day filed in this Office his
sworn statement No. 39s, for the purchase of
the. = OF NE and $ = OF NWl4 of section No;
%, in township No. q N, range No. Q w, and will
offer proof to show that the land sought is more
valuable for its timber or stone than for agri-
cultural purposes, and to establish his claim to
said land before the Register and Receiver of
this office at Olympia, Wash, on Wednesday,
the Sth day of October, 1896.
He names as witnesses: Merritt Layport of
Aberdeen, Wash; William Tate OF Humptu.
lips, Wash Albert S. Coats, of IIumptulips,
Wash. John Harvey, of Humptulips, Wash.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
abovedescribed lands are requested to file
their claims in this office on or before said sth
day of October 1896.
JESSE F. MURPHY, Register.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
Maid, wife or Widow

need never fear TO take that cOntem-
plated trip TO Chicago via the Union
Pacific system. Its cars are heated by
steam, illuminated by the Pintsch light
and they run Through from Portland to
Chicago, without change, in the short
time Of 81, days. Ask +. Il. Benn, agent
Aberdeen, about it.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
NOTICE OF HEARING.

In the Superior Court Of Washington for Che
halls County.
In the matter of the assignment OF 8. J..
White ct uX.
va. Notice
Their Creditors,)
Pursuant to an order OF court made herein on
the 18th day of July, 1896, notice is hereby
given that at the court house in the City of
Montesano. said county, on the Sth day Of Sep
TENDER. 1896, aud at the hour Of O'Clock in the
afternoon OF that day. or as soon thereafter MS
counsel can be heard, the assignee in said
cause win call mp for hearing and decision by
said court the report of the assignee iilod here
in, embracing order OF allowance and distiihu-
ton.
Dated this the 10Th day of July, 1896.
l.. T.. TRASK,
C. Cross, Assignee.
Attorney for Assignee
Date Of first publication July Ii, 1896.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-08-06
NOTICE OF GUARDIANSHIP.

In the Superior Court of Washing ton for Che.
halls County.
In the matter of the estate OF John Zahnd and
Rosina Zahnd, insane persons.
Pursuant to order of court, notice is hereby
given by the undersigned guardian of the es-
tate Of John Zahnd and R0sina Zahnd insane
persons, to creditors of and all persons having
claims against said insane PERSONS to exhibit
them with necessary vouchers. Mt once, to said
guardian at the law Office OF ]. c, Cross. in the
City OF Aberdeen. said county, the same being
the place for the transaction OF the business of
said estate in said county.
Dated this the 10th day OF July, 1896.
CHRIS. ZAIIND,
J. G. Cross, GUARDIAN.
Attorney for Guardian.
Date OF first publication July 16, 1896