Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1896-01-15
AN IMPECUNIOUS ONE.
TIE BOLD GAME OF BLUFF HE PLAYED
ON THE CONDUCTOR.

ON THE CONDUCTOR.
| lie Was Not Gambler or . Drummer
but q Bank Clcrk-Accordinx to tn.
Man Who TelIs the Story. He Ought {,
| BE an Actor-Oh, 1t Was Wicked
He sat in hotel smoking room. Tht
air was blue, but men were happy
happy and reminiscent. He stretched
ont his legs, thrust his hands deep into
his pockets. and between the pnffs spun
this yarn:
''Fcr dead cold, icy nerve had al.
ways thought we travelling men took the
cake. But the prettiest game of bluff
ever saw was put up by man who was
neither drummer nor reporter, but
merely an overworked bank clerk who
had applied for leave of absence and
gone south to recuperate. He had drawn
a certain sum for the trip and resolved
not to exceed ii. Foolishly he had neg
lected to buy an excursion ticket, argu-
ing that he might want to return by a
different route. And then, as matter
Of course, he found that he had spent his
money not wisely but too well, SO that
he was hundreds of miles from home.
ticketless and friendless and well nj gh
penniless. His checkbook was useless,
for no one knew him and he must be
identified.
'All this learned later ON. My ac-
quaintanca with him began On tho train
of one of the southern roads, when he
asked ne to stake him enough to see
him home. I had already been touched
several times that trip, so, expressing ev-
cry confidence in his probity, declined
the honor he would do me. He tried
several other passengers with like re-
suit. Then he gave it up, but made us
all promise not to interfere with any
game he tried to play.
Presently the conductor came along.
The impecuniors one, his hat cooked
over one eye, was peacefully sleeping in
one corner Of his seat, leaning toward
an open window. The conductor shook
him, gently at first. so that he stirred,
and his hat dropped farther over mis-
eye, but lie did no. wake. Then more
roughly, saying, Come, sir, your ticket.
please.
''At that the impecu,iious one awolze
with big start. Ills hat few ont of the
window, and he flew into great rage.
He swore Mt the conductor ard abused
him up and down, him ard his fore
fathers unto the third and fourth gener-
alton. What did he mean by waking
him in that way? Didn't he know that
rest was invaluable to an invalid? That
such a sudden, rude awakening might be
fatal TO weak heart? Were his nerves
of no account? And now he had lost his
hat and would catch cold. 1t was out
rageous.
''Tbe conductor bowed before the
storm, and when it had somewhat abat-
ed offered TO replace the hat at the first
stopping place. And now, sir, let me
see your ticket, please.
THE impecunious one felt in all his
pockets, went through them all again
with bewildered air. Finally he broke
out: Why, you idiot, you, all my tick
cts, not only on this road, bat straight
through to Chicago, we're in the lining
of my hat, and you knocked it out of
the window. I'm in a pretty pickle
now. 1 haven enough with mo to buy
Z fresh set. This piece of idiocy will
cost you your job. I'll report you to the
and teach you to be more care
full how you startle nervous man.
1.-The conductor tried to sCothe him,
offered to take him through to the end
of the division. But the impecunious
one would not be appeased. Much good
it would do him 10 be landed in some
little nearby, one horse southern town
hundreds Cf miles from nowhere. Es
wanted to get through to Chicago. He
must get through. He had an appoint
ment there that was worth thousands CT
dollars. Finally TIE conductor, by this
time badly frightened, promised to get
him tickets or passes all the way
through, and the impecunioGs one sub
sided. And to the end of that road the
conductor, having replaced the dear de-
parted hat, maintained al humbly apol
ogetic tone that would have wrung tears
of blood from stone.
And it was only bluff all so well
carried out that the conductor was
taken in, and the rest OF US
ribbed orr eyes and wondered whether
the iInpecunious ones attempt to touch
US was not. after Gll, a dream.
Later on, travelling over that same
road. told the conductor how he had
been worked. And he said he knew it,
for shortly after that trip he had receiv-
ed letter and check, the former con-
Tossing the fraud, the latter paying him
the full price OF the passage. And he
added: THAT fellow was a genius. If he
had made fuss at first about his tick
cts, I'd have been on to him in min !
ute, but his tickets were forgotten. 1t
was his nerves, his health, his heart, his
nat that were of importance. And to
Link that he had no nerves, or health, |
Or hat-cr heart. Oh, it was wicked
But that man has missed his vocation. |
He ought to be Oh the stage. "-Chica-
go Tribune.