Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-11-11
NO CYCLING CLERGY.
SHOULD PREACHERS RIDE THE BlKEs
AGAIN BEFORE THE CLUB.

The Thompson Street scorchers Consider
the Subject For the Third Time-Brud.
der Henderson's Telltale Statistics
Change the Attitude of the Members,
"Gemlen ol tie club" said President
Toots after the routine business had been
cleared away at the last regular meeting,
II hev to announce de fact dat sartin
member of dis club has riz up to queshun
Of privilege. Dat means dat he wants to
reopen subjick disposed of at former
neetin. De name of de pusson who has
riz up am Silver Plated Henderson, an de
subjick am Should Preachers of de Gospel
Ride de Bike?' We had de queshun befo'
us on two occashuns, an arter full an
free debate it was decided dat it didn't do
any moral harm fur preacher to ride de
wheel. Brudder Henderson wasn't heah
dat eavenin, an he now demands de right
to submit sartin statistics which he has
gathered up"
The Said Statistics.
The secretary then read the statistics az
follows:
REV John Coontree Of Kentucky was
DIlldI VI ullC CiluIIil ttbu ldu SdNCu lO,OOU
souls. After four lessons on the bike he
jabbed hog with pitchfork, kicked a
mule over fence and pounded his wife al
most to death with a bed slat. Now in
Jail and hollering for gore.
Rev. Chilblain Green of Virginia took
two lessons on the bike at camp meeting
and then turned to and tore down seven
tents and punched the head of six other
preachers. Taken to jail; but it was the
general opinion that he was possessed by
satan.
"Rev. Chuckalong Jones of Ohio, who
was known for IS years as the Volcano
EXhorter, and his voice when singing or
praying could be heard three miles against
the wind, took spin on q bike down a
long hill, and after he came to he set fire
to church and went into the business Of
selling root beer.
"Rev. Greentree Wharton of Indiana was
so good that he wouldn't eat strawberries
on Sunday and stopped his clock at sun
rise SO as to give it a rest ON the Lord s
day A stranger left bike with him for
three days and satan impelled him to ride
it. Is now in Jail, charged with seven diff
felsnt crimes, and if he escapes hanging
will be a maniac all his life. "
Only Sample Cases.
Brother Henderson, in arising to defend
his statistics, stated that they were only
sample cases culled at random from hun
dreds which could be found in the daily pa
pers How on earth the club could have
debated this question and overlooked these
statistics was more than he could account
for, Haro u-as ooronrpinp fbl
very foundations of morality and society,
and yet the club had passed it over as If it
was of no more account than voting the
sum of 10 cents to buy rabbits foot
He had understood that certain members
opposed the use Of the bike by preachers on
the ground that it detracted from the dig
nifty Of the cloth and lowered their stand
ard, while others had vigorously denied
that such was the case He had come to
the meeting loaded with big gun for bar
and small gun for woodchuck He would
now fire off his small gun:
"The Rev. Caesar Higginbottom Of ILL
nois, after five lessons on the bike, went
around pinching the sisters ears and pat
ting them on the back, and one of them
put his eye out with the ferule of blue
cotton umbrella.
1.-THE Rev. Moses Sllupanong of New
Jersey took two lessons on the bike and
eloped with his own wife, thinking she
was the hired girl. When he discovered the
fraud, he broke her jaw and was sent to
Jail for 80 days.
Were Not These Enough?
Brother Henderson said he could go on
with these statistics until night faded into
daylight, but were not these enough? Did
the club want anything further to satisfy
the most capricious member that it had
taken wrongful position and could not
get out of it too soon? He was willing to
see preachers swing the club, put up the
bells, lump the bar or ride bucking