The Portland daily press., 1896-06-06
HIS ONLY DUEL,
1t Was q Newspaper Affair, and Both Ed
itors Received Charge.


1t Was q Newspaper Affair, and Both Ed
itors Received a Charge.
The old editor had the inside track and
was doing the talking.
II never had more than one duel" he
began.
"You speak as if one were not enouoh -
interrupted listener.
sit was an ample sufficiency.' con.
tinued the editor with smile. ii was nj
the time of its occurrence 90 years Of age
and the editor of the SmugvilIe Vindi-
Gator. was also hot headed youth with
yearn for gore and glory. In the county
adjoining was 'loathesome contemno-
rary' of mine, built on about the same
lines was, and 1t wasn't more than a year
after we had been contemporaries until we
were in a fine row. He would write soath-
ing editorials, and so would I, and finally
wo dropped our pens and took up pistols
that is, we agreed to fight duel.
Fortunately for us we had friends who
were more sensible than we WERE who
took charge of all the arrangements for
the bloody ARRAY. 1t was decided by them
that the duel should take place and that
we should fire two shots at each other. the
weapons being double barrel shotguns and
the distance ten PAGES That suited us ex-
Actly, for we were extremely bloodthirsty
and wanted each others gore in large
quantities. The fight was to take place at
6 O'Clock In the morning in secluded
spot, and we were there promptly with our
seconds. Our instructions were to fire the
first shot after counting three, and il one
Or both survived another shot might be-
fired as quickly as the principal could get
his gun ready.
"That made it regular rough and
tumble for half the fight, and also made 1t
more interesting. It isn't necessary for
me to go into details of what thought
just before the battle, mother, suffice it
to say thought writing soathing editori-
ais was preferable to shotguns at a. m.
However, we kept our nerve and took our
places ready for business. And think we
meant business, for we took aim right at
each other. Then came the counting, and
finally the deciding three, and bang went
both guns at once. felt as if 1 had
caught an entire carload of shot from my
face down, and / tumbled over on the
grass. What had become of my opponent
did not greatly concern me at that supreme
moment for was wondering why was
not dead.
"In half minute the doctor was feeling
me, and after minute or two more he
said / had been miraouously saved, and
pulled me to my feet. Evidently my op-
ponent had also been miraoulously saved,
for he was standing about ten feet away
from mo with his doctor, and the sight he
presented made me forget all about the
duel and break into roars of laughter.
appeared to have the Same effect on him,
for he began laughing at me. Then we
both got mad, and in five minutes we had
licked seconds, doctors and everybody else
on hand and run them clean out of the
woods.
'This being accomplished, we shook
hands and took look at ourselves in q
glass, which had evidently been brought
for our benefit. Permit me to omit an
elaborate description of what we looked
like. Those COMPOUNDED seconds had loaded
our guns to the muzzle with printers ink,
and tho way it was splattered over us
was enough to have made us laugh at first
and then to lick the crowd that put the
job up on US. However, we had showed
we had sand, and the jokers kept in hid
ing until we announced in our ies-eotive
papers that all was forgiven, and the
Ratchet was dead and buri ID. That was
my only duel, concluded the editor, "and
am extremely glad that the guns were
loaded with ink instead Of buckshot. -
Washington Star.