The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-02-25
SOME HARD WORDS.
AN INGENIOUS EXERCISE WHICH
MIGHT BE USED IN SCHOOLS.

Inc story OF an Iuutan fracas COntainiiiI
Many Curious words-Try Your Hand
and See whether You Have the Up TO
Date Pronunciation.
The following ingenious narrative has
been arranged by the Boston Transcript
o. nm exercise in pronunciation. Certainly
the young man or woman who can pro-
nounce correctly all the words In this story
Il worthy of medal In photography. The
passage is worth reproduction as school
exercise, for which we commend IL to
teachers:
On the morning of July 4, 1903, the
faculties of Young Man With Many Hands
were early disnthrallcd from the dcsue
tude of sleep By tho supcrorogatory squall-
ing Of pygmean grimalkin, who was dem
onstrating his fehlty to the tepce by
fracas with asomcwhnt phthisical intruder
Of the saihe species. Young Man With
Many Hands, 1t should be explained, had
won his sobriquet ct the agency buildings,
where It was agreed with perfect unanim-
ity, when an inventory was taken after he
had made few brief and informal calls
that two was an absilrdly small number
Of hands with which to accomplish 80
much i'm SO short time. Thus rudely torn
our Briarcan hero, without pretense to
cquability Of mind, seized piece Of oolite,
n fragment of adobe and IA parcel Of ipecac-
uanha, all OF which he hurled at the fight
ing felincs, whcreupon the imbroglio
ceased.
With somewhat truculent mien he dis
posed of the morning repast, and then to
secure eupepsy opened "a flask of cognac. A
moiety thereof had hardly disappeared be-
fore he was in an irremediablc state Of In
ebricty. A psyohical uplifting ensued, and
from phlcgmutic condition almost Dor
dcriry upon the hypochondriacal he
emerged in light and jocund mood, albeit
avariable one Filling his pipe with kinni-
kinic, vigorous use of the respiratory
organs soon produced dense clouds Of
smoke and he pulled away with an ease
and dignity which, though one would not
indulge In undue disparagcment, fell
slightly short of the recherche nonchalance
of Harvard sophomore with his oheroot
He then donhed a mauve dyed robe of
mohair, which, sad to relate, he had Sc
cured on Quinquagesima Sunday by q
monetary transaction with Big Kitten, a
young buck Of Il neighboring camp, and
with merry vocal improvisation set forth
for walk. In his belt he carried xiphoid
scalping knife, fashioned from the tusk Of
a narwhal, upon one side Of which was n
naiad in intaglio and upon the other GER
tain recondite logarithmic calculations
scratched in red ink by an itinerant col
porteur with an arthmetical turn of mind
In return for n few bits Of wampum.
He chose frequented route through the
woods and would have proceeded without
much difficulty had he not slipped upon a
piece of spermaceti and fallen heavily. AT
that spot the residence OF the ground was
not marked, and in somewhat irregular
orthoepy he denounced In terms scarcely
sacerdotal the NAVY who had dropped the
treacherous article. He then continued on
his way, but had not gone far when his
progress was arrested by a series Of vigor'
Gus blasts from that instrument yclept the
ophicleide
Advancing cautiously in the direction oil
the sounds, he came upon the edge of 0
clearing and beheld none other than Big
Kitten, attired in costume comparable
only to his own, sitting before the door Of
a hut and panegyrizing the father Of his
country In the heinous manner previously
described. Young Man With Many Hand
was stirred to wrath at the sight. For {
brief period he held Big Kitten under sur
Vigilance, and then, with furtive glanc,
behind, approached the offending musician
and demanded without preliminary par
lance the latters right of seizin.
Big Kitten, thus taken by surprise
adopted conciliatory tactics and explained
that puisne justice by mesne and othe
processes, on behalf of the posthumou
child of distant blood relation, had en-
feoffed to him the land in fee simple, tw'
myrmidons and microscopic having wit
messed the deed.
This closed the Conversations, for Younl
Man With Many Hands, his rage no
abated, and still suffering from menta
aberrance resulting from the cognac, be
gan to lombard the inolfcnsive Big Kittel
with orchis and gladioli bulbs, ut the sam
time impugning the consanguinity of til
latter's relative. These vagarics arouse
Big Kitten, who would brook no blot upol
his escutcheon. He hastily drew n toy pis
,, toll, and after decorating u few paper cap
threw it at his opponent with force tina
showed his brachial muscles to be nc
, faccid. The combatants then grappled
but only n few moments sufficed to sho,
that either II cuirass for defense or palfre
for flight would be necessary II Youn
Man With Many Hands hoped to evade tn
subtle and machiavelian tactics Of tn
other.
No subtle process Of ratiocination wa
needed to show him this, SO he speedil
pleaded for an armistice. Big Kittens MAG
nanimity here asserted itself, and the pie
was granted, whereupon Young Man Wit
Many Hands painfully withdrew, sighin
for palanquin. The eagle had long n
treated to his eyrie and the sun was nee
the nadir before he sank to sleep agai
amid the squalor Of the tepee, firmly col
WINGED that the pleasures of the wassail al
! at best supposititious, and, like all counte
feits, to be avoided.
That night he did not dream of empires
realms, but that naive leviathan escorte
him around the zodiacal circle, and thu
at Pisces was gallows, at the foot
which an uxorious diocesan functionar.
holding in his hand book on esoter
Buddhism, stood ready to solemnize Il
final act, while a government agent 81
upon a glacier below, humming an ell
giacal refrain and regretting that the
would soon be one less Indian to mulct.