Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-03-05

Now the tMaId, douonng Sultof,
BY Professor Roentgen 5 art,
May, before he speaks. discover
If she has a marble heart.
Indianapolis Journal
Am so glad you had the doctor: did
he relieve your Yes; OF $2o."-Ros-
ton Courier
Teacher--What was .foan of Arc
maid Of? Bright Pupil-Made Of dust.
Boston Transcript.
EIsie-My husband is very hard TO
please. Louise-Hc must have chang
ed considerably since he married you.
New York Herald.
"How many people will this car
seat?" inquired the loquacious passen-
ger. "Women or men" asked the CON
| ductor.-Chicago Evening Post.
There was once a professor who, be-
ing asked what he knew upon n certain
subject replied, Nothing; l have not
even lectured on t."Argonaut.
do you believe in luck?" Il should
say so; snow last night blew of my
neighbours walk and drifted TO the tu!f
length Of miner'-Cllicago Record.
"WiH you be my wife, Fraulein
Paula, and make me happy?' Il am
sorry, Doctor, but / should like to be
happy myself "-Iumoristische Blaet-
| ter.
You're the only doctor who advises
| me to stay at home. All the others
say l ought to go to q winter resort"
II suppose they have all the patients
! they want '-FIiegende Blaetter.
Willie What's the matter with your
nose Bobby? Bobby Tommy Higgin-
botham an nae had fight in school
| about some marbles. Willie--Who got
| EN-? Bobby-Teacher.-J
Lawyer Ga few years hence)-Make
your mind easy. The jury will disa-
! gree. Irisoner-Sure? Lawver-I
| know it. Two Of the members are man
and wife.--New York Dispatch.
| Dad, what's running accOunt?'
| Its an. open account with a dry goods
| store my son, which keeps your moth
er running downtown all the time to
| buy something Louisville Courier
| Journal.
I
want OF thought or course it was a
| boy. You wouldn't find girl whistling
| for want of thought. He-No; she
| wouldn't whistle she'd talk.-Indian-
| apolis Journal.
| "A1an wants but little here below
| SO rams the good Old song;
| If he bu: advertises, though,
He dnnsn't want that long
| Printers Ink.
He-Oh, DEAR wish | could get
| hold Of some biscuits like mother used
| to make Tor nae! She-And / wish /
| could get some good clothes like father
| used to buy for melndianapolis Jour
| nal
u wish those electric sleighs were In
+. use in Pittsburg," remarked Miss Point
| Breeze to Miss Scnenley Park. 'Why?"
y understand they can be guided by
| the feet alone. Pittsburg Chronicle
! Telegraph
Charles Really, ! think that Miss
| Gray takes q good deal of interest i'm
me- i{enryBut you should relnem-
Der that where the interest is large the
security is apt to be pretty poor.-Bos-
ION Transcript
"Ah! that's a great strain exclaimed
the tenor. who was exercising his voice
ia his bedroom. "A great strain it isl
replied his roommate. ION those who
have to listen to "-Pittsburg Chron-
icIe- Telegraph.
Well let these 'barons' do their viii,
Nor try to fhwart Their little game
f. When the price Of coal goes up.
The mercury will DO the same.
Washington Star.
Susy-S Say, auntie, dear, you're an old
maid, aren't you? Aunt Emma (hesj-
tatingIy}-C Certainly, Susy: but it is not
nice of you to ask such question
Susy-NGw. don't be vexed, auntie; I
know it isn't your Notwithstanding
Laabfrosch
Il am going 10 propose to Miss jim
kles,' said Whykins, thoughtfully.
HAS she given you any encourage
ment?" ~ should say So Why, she
is afraid | am pending too much mon
CIV for bouquets and matinee tickets
Washington Star
Excuse me- Mr.. Barnothing,o said
the London lady to her very wealthy
ACQUAINTANCE, but isn't mining very
Interestingly very, ma'am.' 81 am
very ignorant On that score Tell ME,
do diamonds come in Quartz?" "Oh, I
suppose some people that work on D
small scale get 'em that way; but hal
'em comm in gallons, ma 'am."-Wash-
sp~%nn Cfor :