The herald., 1896-09-30
some CAMPAIGN SMILES
The Merry Ha-fla's of the Pres
idential Candidates
HOW GOOD NEWS IS MET
McKinley's Smile Is Sedate and Bryan
Laughs MerriIy
Sewall's is Business Like, Hobart's Hap
py, Watson's Unique, Levering's
and Buckner's Honest.

The campaign smile is almost as po-
tent in political affairs as the cam
paign handshake The smile referred to
is not liquid concoction, but the literal
article. All of the gentlemen now in
the presidential race have individual
smiles which they distribute with prof
ligate profusion and the man or woman
who wins one of these symbols of appro-
baton naturally feels elated.
On the evening of November Sd two OF
these gentlemen will be wreathed in
dazzling halo of smiles. TO depict the
ecstatic delight which will illuminate
their features on that eventful nights
not within the power of modern art.
But their respective campaign smiles
are easily shown as they can be seen
at almost any hour of the day. Constant
eXertion of the same muscles of the face
causes each of the candidates to smile
in precisely the same way every time he
falls into a mirthful mood. Stage peo-
pie might designate it as property
smile. And such a reference would not.
be altogether inappropriate, for it is cer-
tainly an important feature of the cam
didate's vote winning equipment.
Major McKinleys smile is sedate and
unassumng. He may laugh aloud in
private life, but in public his pleasure
is only shown in a quiet way. The ma
jor's eyes smile first, and then the laugh
creeps down to his mouth. The dimple
in his chin becomes more pronounced
and the lines running down each side
of his mouth assume humorous twist.
Major McKinley's friends say that he
has lively sense of the humorous, and
phrenologists who claim to have applied
their science to his Uranium substanti-
ate the assertion. But while the bumps
on his head may indicate this, he seldom
shows it; but perhaps his merriment is
of the internal kind.
THE LOUD HA-HA. f.o ..'
The majors immediate rival has
laugh which is not easily concealed. The
poet who wrote something about THE
Merry Ha-Ha" must have had in his
mind a man whose laugh Is akin to that
of Mr.. Bryan's Mr.. Bryan has many
different kinds of smiles, but there are
two in which he generally INDUCES
when on the stump. One is a silent af
fair and the other is the reverse.
The silent smile is of brief duration
1t is generally called into life when some
one in the audience which he is address,
ing calls out humorous remark. This
smile takes in the whole of the candi-
dates face. 1t almost closes his eyes
and curves his mouth upward at the cor
ners until that feature is nearly cres-
cent shaped. 1t sticks dimples in his
cheeks and plants curious little wrinkles
in his forehead. There is no sound, but
the evident merriment makes that un-
necessary.
AN OLD-FASHIONEDL LAUGH.
His other indication of happiness is
a regular old-fashioned laugh in which
''ha-has," 'he-hos," "uh-uhs" and 'oh-
VI.
indulged in on the platform, but is re-
served for conferences with his travel
ing companions and campaign mana
gers. This laugh belongs to that class
| generally described as contagious. If
| it rings out in a railroad car all the other
passengers turn around and uncon-
| scously smile, although they haven't
the faintest idea of what the laugh was
about.
| Mr. Sewall of Maine has what might
be called staid SMILE The best story
| teller in the world might relate to him
the funniest tale ever composed, and
| it's effect on the candidate would be
infinitesimal Mr.. Sewalrs face would
| soften the least bit, there would be a
| slight trembling of his mustache, his
| massive chin would tilt upwards and
| he would say "Yes-yes."
| Mr.. Sewall has deem described as a
| man whose sole occupation is his busi-
| unnecessary word and being abrupt,
| terse and emphatic. This may account
| for his slender stock of mirthful indul-
| gences.
Garret A. Hobart of New Jeresy is
! the best smiler of the lot. Whether this
J is the result of living in New Jeresy,
| or of a natural inclination to take a
pleasant view of everything that
| comes along, is a question. At any rate
| he Is smiling most of the time. Even
| when news is brought to him of changed
| conditions in a section which had been
| regarded as safe for his party, Mr.. Ho-
| bart takes the matter smilingly. Like
| his companion on the ticket, he laughs
! with his eyes, wrinkling them up His
| heavy mustache acts as shield for
his mouth, but his chin oscillates, his
cheeks swell out and he chuckles with
| the glee of schoolboy at Christmas
time. ..t egl
| Tom Watson of Georgia is serious
smiler He seems to be a man who would
| like to rip out a good hearty laugh, but
who checks himself abruptly in the ear
| ly stages of the process. This laugh of
| the Georgia statesman is curious af-
| fair and most difficult to describe 1t
begins something like this: "Whee-ee-
| ee-oo-op-Ha-aa-aaa. Then there is a
hard gulp, the candidates wide open
! mouth closes with a vigorous snap and
| the laugh is over. l..t7 y,
| oOSiiob hCNciiiiSo tllt CdD-
didate, has not a dry laugh by any
means. His eyes twinkle merrily all
| the time, and when he says that he
| doesn't expect to win, but does expect
| to surprise the people in November by
! the size of his vote, he smiles so broadly
| that his muttonchop whiskers and
| heavy gray mustache tremble at the
| fervor of his mirth. And there is no
doubt that his laugh is honest for No
| vember Sd has no great terror for him.
General Palmer's smile is like that of
the Prohibition man. He doesn't ex-
pect the lightning to hit him on election
| day, so he can laugh freely. And he
does laugh, with his mouth wide open
and his white chin whiskers futtering
| in the air.
| General Simon Bolivar Buckner his
| running mate, takes a serious view of
the situation. He is doing everything
| possible to win votes in Kentucky and
| he Is as careful as the leading candidate
General Buckner always appreciates a
| good story and when he hears one his
laugh can be heard a block away. His
campaign smile is an amiable one, not
| unlike Major McKinley's
|