Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-11-11
Wauside Gatherings.
p@ A man who fools his time away

s@ Court-plaster is often used to
make lover stick to his promise.
a6- He that ceases to be useful to
others, becomes burden to himself.
a% Drinking water neither makes a
man sick, nor in debt, nor his wife a
widow.
rag 1t is said that dwarfs die of pre-
mature old age, and giants of exhaus-
ton.
B@ The veneering is pretty thin on
a great many of the polished gentle
men you meet.
a@ St. Louis county, Minnesota, is
about one and quarter times larger
than Connecticut.
g@ A bilious man hunting for some
thing to get mad at is generally sue
cessful in his search.
Bde A court of Illinois has decided
that the Seventh Day Adventists may
plough corn on Sunday.
a8- Leisure is sweet to those who
have earned it, but burdensome to those
who get it for nothing.
p4 An establishment at Hubbard, o.,
advertised itself as the "only second
class hotel in the world"
1~ II dreamed of you last night,
Miss Rosalind." 30, did your And
what dress did I have on P'
a@ An excellent cure for dyspepsia
is to give hungry dog piece of meat,
and chase him till he drops it.
ag According to reports, the coming
sugar crop of Louisiana will be one of
the largest ever produced in that state.
s@ The way to wealth is as plain as
the way to market /; it depends chiefly
on two words-industry. and frugality.
ga The broker who had married a
pretty but penniless girl explained
that he had taken her at her face
value.
a6 Many man who mourns that
he is born too soon would be hard
pushed to put up a reasonable excuse
why he is born at all.
r6 The first treatment for sick
fowl is to get rid of the lice. No med
icine will do very much good 80 long
as vermine infest a sick fowl.
s~ "Then you mean to tell me I'm
a liar? ?" "Well, no, 1 don't wish to
be quite so rude as that, but I will say
this-you'd make very good weather
prophet"
p@ No man can put his neighbor's
hat on the owners head properly.
Did you ever notice it? The owner
of the tile always replaces it to suit
himself.
HT A blotting paper towel has been
invented. After bath, the bather ar
rays himself in a cloak composed of
blotting paper, and in few moments
he is dry.
B9 The potato crop of the country
is put by The American Agriculturist at
245, $4,000 bushels, decrease of more
than 50,000,0OO bushels compared with
a year ago.
s~ A householder, in filling up his
census schedule, under the column,
"where born ?" described one of his
children "born in the parlor," and the
other "up stairs"
s9 The only cheap thing in Liberia
is low grade of whisky, which sells
for eight cents a pint. Half pint of
it will convert peaceable clergyman
into bullying pugilist.
H@ In Cashmere 10000 shawls are
made yearly. 1t takes three men a
year to weave pair. 1t takes ten
goats to furnisd the material for a
shawl one and half yards square.
s6 Sir Edwin Arnold says that q
man who is careful about his dress will
be careful about his habits, and will
not engage in any proceeding that
would cast stain upon his reputation.
pas- Sailors do not like cats, and they
have a saying when the cat is frisky
she has a gale of wind in her tail !;
and charm is often resorted to in a
calm by throwing the cat overheard
to raise storm.
s~ Compiainant-He applied an ap-
propriate epithet to nae. Judge
What was it "He called me lying
scoundrel." "Well, you mean oppro-
brious; but still I won't contradict
you. 1t may have been appropriate" !"
p1" We might as we'll expect, when
we behold a calm atmosphere, and a
clear sky, that no clouds were ever to
rise, and no winds to blow, as that our
life were long to proceed without
receiving provocations from human
frailty.
B9~ A certain means of stopping a
dog fight, or loosening a vicious dogs
hold upon anything, is to shower snuff
on his nose and produce sneezing. Be
his will-power ever so strong, the mo-
ton of sneezing involuntarily opens a
dogs jaws.
eH. "You are sure that Mr.. Bowton
is not at home ?" asked the caller.
"Well, ought to be-" said the honest
servant. "He told me so when I took
your card up, and he said if you would
call sometime when he was out, he
would be glad to see YOU"
B4- There has been so much trouble
in Cherokee county, Iowa, caused by
the resignation of teachers for matri-
monial purposes the past year, that
the school board now requires every
teacher to sign a contract not to get
married during the school year.
BB- A French statistician has just
ascertained that a human being, of
either sex, who is q moderate eater,