Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-03-12

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do yer study GRAMMAR Nav;
done got trough grammer Judge.
Hiland-The temperature got down
to zero last night. Halker-Thats noth-
ing.-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Muggins-Do you thing the north
pole will ever be found: Bugglns-l
didn't know it was Observation-Disclosures
Record.
Passenger-Is that Chicago we are
coming to? Conductor-Certainiy
Can't YOU make out the snow-capped
buildings ?-Life.
Old Gent-Don't you know me, VIII
lie? l am your fathers uncle. Willie
Are you the man pa goes to when he
is short of money?-Funny Cuts.
Hell see your friend Mrs. Overton
has written a society novel. She-Oh,
dear-and | always thought she was
such nice-minded woman!-Punch
Miss Smashum-I don't care for men;
in fact I've already said motto seven
of them. Miss Comely-Indeed! what
were they selling?-Adams Freeman.
t'These problems in arithmetic
Are narrowing, l vow.
Last leap year she was thirty
And she's twentyseyen now
Washington Star.
Stranger from Nebraska What;
That the Chicago river? Chicago Man
Yes Stranger-Great snakes! Why
don't you plow it up?-Chicago Trib-
une
| envy Bngs whene'er he sings,
SO much does he deserve:
TITS not his voice makes me rejoice
envy him his nerve.
Judge.
Dnguss-Ry the way, Shadbolt, talk
ing of those X rays. Shadbolt sheer
ing off)-No use, Dinguss; you'll make
no X raise from me this time Chicago
Tribune.
"Mary, I'll follow you to the utmost
ends Of the EARTH "No, you WON'T"
said she, calmly. "Why won't I?' Be
cause I'm not going there" she replied.
"What are you crying for, child?''
"Lolo hurt me- How, pray?" "L
was going to hit him with my fist, when
he ducked his head and my fist hit the
wall."-Etoile Beige.
Disappointed Guest-I thought you
said there was an extensive view from
your hotel? Disappointing Landlord
Well, you can see the moon, can't you2
-Somerville Journal.
Marie, your father must like me; he
lent me 500" "No, Charlie; he told
me he expected it would cost him some
thing to keep you from coming here so
often. 'Chicago Record.
She-You know you would be just as
happy if you didn't kiss me. He-But
do you suppose l am selfish enough to
think only of myself?-Rehobeth Sun
day Herald.
you tell, but it won't work Weary
| Watkins-Course it won't D'you 'spose
I'd be travelin' around with it if it did?
| Indianapolis Journal.
Mamma, honest it wasn't me ct IT'D
all that cake-it was Bobby" Well,
Dick. bring me the cathodal kodak and
I'll sec al once which one of you liz
guilty ''-Chicago Record.
II acknowledge l lose my temper
when you make things too hot for me,''
said the red-liaired man to his wife,
''bGt that only shows / am made Of
good material. Chicago Tribune.
There was a man in cur town,
He wasn't wise a bit;
His business kept agoing down
An advertiser? Nit
Boston Courier.
Mrs CaHker-it is said that the Falls
at Niagara are wearing away rapidly.
Mr.. Cawker-I don't wonder 1T that.
A great many people take hack at Nj
agara Falls.-Harper's Bazaar.
May take this seat. MADAME" said
the travelling man to a lady in the rail-
road car mo. SIR" said the female.
witheringly; Il have been keeping it
for gentleman.''-Yo nkers States
man.
Il would be mighty willin' to work.
Mr.. Dismal Dawson explained, IF L
was only able You look able-bodied
enough" said the sharp-nosed lady
What is there to prevent you work
ing?" Me pride. indianapolis Jour
nal
Doctor Ito brother physician)-Y
sir. the sovereign remedy for all this
is fresh air and plenty of it. People
don't let enough air into their houses.
Well, must hurry off; I'm on an err
rand Brother physician-Going fare
mo, only down to the hardware store
to get half mile of weather-strips'
Philadelphia Telegraph.