Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1896-02-13

no pomology 10 see ! Gol durh cy-
clopeedy anyhow !"
N he put the volyume back on to
the shelf n never sot eyes into agin.
That's the way the thing run fer
years n years. Leander would've Gin
up the plaguy bargain, but he couldn't.
He had signed printed paper n had
swore to it afore a Justice of the peace.
Higgins would have had the law on
him if he had throwed up the trade.
The most aggervatin feature nv it
all wuz that new one Nv them cussid
cyclopeedies wuz allus sure to show
up at the wrong time--when Leander
wuz hard up or had jest been afflicted
some way or other. His barn burned
down two nights afore the volyume
containin the letter B arrived, n Le-
ander needed all his chink to pay fer
lumber, but Higgins sot back on that
affidavit defed the life out NV him.
Never mind, Leander, sezhis wife,
soothin like; cts a good book to have
in the house anyhow, now that we've
got a baby"
That's so, sez Leander. Babies
does begin with B, don't it ?'
You see, their fust baby had been
born. They named him Peasley-
Peasley Hobart-after Hattie's folks.
So, seein as how it wuz payin fer
book that told about babies, Leander
didn't begredge that s. SO very much
after all.
"Leander, sez Hattie one forenoon,
that B cyclopeedy amt no account.
There amt nuthin in it about babies,
except See maternity. -
'Waal, I'll b'gosh durned ~ sez Le-
ander. That wuz all he said, n he
couldn't do nothin at all, fer that book
agent, Lemuel Higgins, had the dead
wood on him-the mean, sneakin crit
ter
So the years passed on, one of them
cyclopaedies shown up now n then,
sometimes every two years, n some
times every four, but always at a time
when Leander found it pesky hard to
give up a flyer. 1t warn't no use Gus
sin Higgins. Higginsjest LATED when
Leander allowed that the cyclol eedy
wuz no good, n that he wuz bein rob-
bed. Meantime Leander's family wuz
increasln n CROWN. Little Sarey had
the hoopin cough dreadful one winter,
but the cyclopeedy didn't help out at
all, cause all it said wuz, "Hoopin
cough-see whoopin cough" n NV
course there warn't no whoopin cough
to see, bein as how the W hadn't come
yet.
Oncet when Hiram wanted to dreen
the home pasture he went to the cyclic
peedy to find ont about it, but all he
diskivered wuz, "Draiu-see tile.
This wuz in 1859, n the cyclopeedy
had only got down to G.
The COW wuz sick with lung fever
one spell, n Leander laid her dyin to
that cussid cycIopeedy, cause when he
went to readin bout cows it told him
to See zoology"
But what's the use nv harrowln up
ones feeliu's talkin n thinkin bout
these things Leander got so after
awhile that the cyclopeedy did'n wor-
rv him at all. He grew to look at it
ez one NV the crosses that human crit
ters has to bear without complaint
through this vale nv tears. The only
thing that bothered him wuz the fear
that mebbe he wouldn't live to see the
last volvume-to tell the truth, this
kind nv got to be his hobby, n I've
heeln him talk bout it many time
settin roun the stove at the tavern n
sauirtin tobacco Juice at the sawdust
box. His wife Hattie passed away
with the yaller janders the winter W
came, n all that seemed to reconcile
Leander to survive her wuz the pros
pect nv seein the last yolyume NV that
cyclopeedy.
Lemuel Higgins, the book agent,
had gone to his everlastin punishment,
| but his son, Hiram, had succeeded to
| his fathers business n continued to
visit the folks the ole man had roPed
in. By this time Leander's children
had growed up Allon EN- wuz mar
I'd. II there wuz numeris grandchil-
dren to amuse the ole gentleman. But
Leander wuzn't to be satisfied with