The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1896-12-17
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Washington Star.
He-"Is anything wanting to make
your happiness complete, my dear?"
Shelves: about fourteen yards Of
silk at SO a yard."-Yonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Poorly-This ere wall'il fall down
eff We don't fix It,; tn cracks are enor-
nous. Landlord-All right. III have
1t papered at once.-Atlanta Constitu.
ton.
MAUD Muffett says that the age of
chivalry has passed." II guess she
means she has passed the age when
she may expect any."-Indianapolis
Journal.
Mamma-"Johnny, I fear you were
not at school yesterday" Johnny
Him! I'll bet the teacher told you. A
woman can keep a secret.''-BOs.
ton Transcript.
Miriam-"Don't you think my new
hat is a poem. NedT Ned Critically
From the height, dear, l should COM
pare it instead to a short story!'-
Spare Moments.
mabel has a lot Of sense" "How
does she show it," "She never per-
mits herself to appear more intelli-
gent than the man who is talking to
her."-Chicago Record.
Well-meaning man has seldom said
The thing precisely that he ought;
He sights her dainty homemade bread
And ~suavely ~latters what she bought.
Washington Star.
Crawford-"How Is it that the JAM
tor Of a fat is such an autocrat?" Grim
shawl suppose it's because wher-
ever he goes he generally gets in on the
ground ~floor."-Judge.
II feel" said the clock that had
ceased to tick. like the victim of a
bicycle collision" slow is that?"
asked the watch. Run down."-Phil-
adelphia North American.
Mrs. Troubles-"When we were first
married, Harry. you never uttered a
complaint" Mr.. T.-"When we were
first married, Jane. l had cash enough
to employ a cook."-Pittsburg Chron.
icle-Telegraph.
First Suburbanite-"That new cook
l got yesterday vas uneasy all the
way out from town." Second Suburb
anite-'What was the matter?" First
Suburbanite-'I forgot to buy her a re-
turn ticket Judge.
Dobson-"Did old Money Bags take
1t good-naturedly when you asked him
for the hand of his daughter?' Hob
overwhelmingly? Oh. yes: he
said ia, ha, ha! New York Com.
mercia1 Advertiser.
Wheel and the world wheels with you;
Walk and you walk alone;
Ware lest a scorcher shall come up be-
And knock you as cold as a stone.
Chicago Record.
Il am a plain man." said Bloughly.
"and l believe in being practical. l
love you. and l wan you 10 be my
wife" We'll" replied the fair one.
show much are You orth!'-Phila'
| delphia North-American.
Mrs. Mi~mms-George. are you sure
you locked up the house carefully?
Mimms-By jOve. l can't remember
| about the front door. Mrs. Minus
| Never mind the front door. How about
the coal bin?-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Going to do anything interesting
this Thanksgiving, Bagsby" "Ies,
I've persuaded my wife not to invite
all our relatives to dinner, just TO see
If some of them won't have originality
enough to invite us.'-ChicagO Record.
Papa Blunt like to argue with
that young TOmlinS. Sweetest Susan
I hope you find him logical. papa.
"Why, my child" Because l think
he's the logical candidate for your SON.
in-law, papa."-Cleveland Plain Deal
er.
Freshly-Well, 1 captured a first
prize at the horse show yesterday"
Sagely-Didn't know you had any ami
mails entered. FRESHLY hadn't. but
l proposed to Miss Cash and was &C.
cepted.-New York Commercial Ad
vertiSer.
Marie-I suppose that your friend,
the count. has become greatly attach
ed here in New York during his stay.
Nimms-No, he hasn't been as yet. al
though all his trunks have, his land.
lord tells me.-New York Evening
Journal.
Hell thought you said your love for
me was as strong as iron and as true
as steel; pray, how do you accoun for
your numerous firtations? She-Well.
you see. the iron and steel works have
shut down for the present.-Up TO
Date.
Playwriter-What do you think Of
my new work: Critique-Great show.
old fellow. Funniest thing | eve