The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1896-07-08

the whole thing out into the back yard"
The natural docility of his nature,
however, prevailed, and he left the OBJ
noxious viands unmolested and proceed
ed with his dinner. At $3.50 he put the
chops on to broil ''as in the good old
days of yore''-this poetic allusion to
the style of cooking being occasioned by
one OF them accidentally dropping into
the fire, whence he rescued it with great
presence of mind by the joint assistance
of the stove litter and one of the best
table napkins By the time the chop
was thus rescued both it and the table
napkin were fairly we'll done-to say
nothing stronger. This trifing difficulty
he got over by putting the erring chop
on the window sill to cool and the nap
kin into the fre-to do the other thing.
This accomplished, and with one chop
gently cooking on the gridiron and the
other one cooling on the window sill,
he started to construct the paste for his
apple pudding This proved most fas-
cinating. He placed large quantity of
flour in a small bowl, emptied jug Of
water On top of it, added butter to
taste, and proceeded to mold it deftly
into shape, as he had often seen his
wife do. The flour and water promptly
forsook the bowl and betook themselves
to his hands. Then the milk for the
soup began to burn, just as the potatoes
boiled dry. He rushed to the rescue and
left the major portion of the paste fair
ly evenly divided between the handles
of the two saucepans and the stove lift
er. At this juncture the tomatoes started
in to see if they couldn't surpass the
milk in burning. They succeeded. The
cat, which was accustomed to a 80
dinner, walked off with the chop on the
window sill, while the chop on the fire
grew beautifully black on the "down
side. So many things were now burn
ing all at the same time that Mr.. Meek
gave up all hope of trying to discover
just which one was burning most. "Let
the dashed things burn till they're sick
of it!'' was the extremely broad minded
way in which he summed up the situa-
ton With the astuteness that charac-
terized him as distinguished from his
fellow men, he at once gave up all eff
forts to track the truant paste, and SIM
ply popped his apples into the oven to
bake.
It was now about 7 80, and the fire
was getting hotter than pretty much
anything Oh earth, unless perhaps it
was Mr.. Meek. He turned all the damp
ers, opened all the doors, and took off
all the lids This resulted most salts
factorily; the fire began to cool. It
didn't stop.
Tt got, if anything, little low. Aft
er that it got very low. Then it went
out. He rushed for a kindling, and
nearly took his head off on clothes
line. Just as he had got nicely through
expressing his views on clotheslines in
general, and that clothesline in particu
lar, he went about twice as far toward
taking his head off on the same clothes
line On his way back.
The gentlest of natures when reused
are often the most terrible. Mr.. Meek
became very terrible. He used up enough
kindling profanity and coal Oil to have
ignited the pyramids of Egypt He
stamped and showed and pCked and
banged and cursed and shock till even
the cat-and it had had its dinner-was
displeased with him, and departed to
the outer kitchen to try the oysters,
which the dilatory grocer had just dc
posted on the table without waiting to
parley with Mr.. Meek. He was a wise
grocer and had heard enough.
Whom abOj1t five 1oinufcS LATER Mr.