Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-02-13

Perhaps he'll now get back a few
Of those engagement rings.
Washington Star.
Shopping these beautiful?
EXquisite-What are they, buttons or
dessert plates ?-Chicago Record.
Young Girl--Have you book of sam
pie letters for lovers? CLERK smiles.)
1t is for my--mamma.-Flieg
Blaetter.
'You are tagged out; you must give
up all headwork'' "Why, that spells
ruin I'm hairdresser!''-La Petit
Provencal.
Mr.. Muchmoney-I love you for all
that l am worth, darling. Miss Budd-
That's just what love you for.-Bos-
ton Courier.
She-Do you think we are going to
have war? He--Yes, do. what do
you think we are going to make war
on?' ION paper -Yonkers States
man.
Wiggles lin love}--Why, man, her
very feet arc poem. Giggles "a cyni-
cal friend)-No doubt; but isn't poem
of only two feet rather shOrt?-New
York Tribune.
Cant l interest you in accident in
surance to-day" NO. sir: I'm in no
need of it, EXCUSE me; understood
you were learning to play the violin!'
Workers Statesman.
Let dogs delight to bark and bite;
To do so is their fate.
They can't be turned; they never learned,
You see, to arbitrate.
Washington Star.
Muggins-I went to two parties last
night, and lost my umbrella. Bug
gins-I went to three balls last night,
and I haven't seen my watch since
Philadelphia Record
"Uncle George, was Diogenes a
tramp?' That's what we would cali
him in this enlightened age, my son.
'Then the tub he lived in couldn't have
been a washtub, could it?'-The Capt.
tai.
ooh. how can leave thee, my jewel
NV precious one?' Sadly he spoke,
But the case was an urgent one, very;
SO the diamond was put into soak
Kansas City Journal.
Mrs. Snaggs (reading from a newspa-
per)-Gas meter manufacturers nave
formed a trust Mr.. Snaggs-1 can't
believe it. No trust is to be placed in
gas meters.-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele
graph
Lucy-The wretch! And so he has
been proposing to both of us? l wish
we could think of some fearful way of
furnishing him. jennie have an idea
/ You marry him, dear.-ChicagO Dis
patch.
The glorious charge of the light brigade,
By Tennyson famously sung,
Is nothing to that which my doctor made
For taking a look at my tongue.
-Yenowines News.
Gadzooks-You don't mean to say
that so homely girl as Miss Plainface
is able to get engag ements as an artists
model? Zounds-Certainly she poses
for the designers Of posters.-NeW York
Tribune.
eff you don't do something on this
bill before the 10Th l intend to sue
YOU" "Ah. And will you permit me
to recommend Sharpe & Steele? | re-
ceive percentage on all they get out OF
e.''-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Young Gushington-My means are
not large, sir, but l think that, with
prudence, your daughter and myself
- Old Cashly-My dear boy. don't
be an idiot! can hardly support that
girl myself! -Harper's Bazaar.
You should never send your love by mail.
For, if you do the latter,
You break the postal law exclud-
Ing perishable matter.
New York Herald.
What are you doing there?" ex-
claimed the irate parent, as he sudden
ly opened the parlor door and found
William in the act of kissing his daugh-
ter. "Kiiling microbes, STRIP was Will
Jams ready response.-Y Onkers States
man.
Duer-It is almost impossible to get
seats for the grand opera, and it is a
rather poor company, too. / don't I'M
derstand it. Duell-Well, the singers
have such weak voices that they do
not disturb the sation.-Harlem
Life.
Yeast Who is that richly dressed
lady coming out of that fashionable res
taurant? C,imsonbeak-She's an ar
lists model And this seedy-looking
fellow coming out of the free lunch
saloon?' ''Qh, he's the artist."-Yon-
kers Statesman.