The record-union., 1896-01-27
LOCAL WALKS And TALKS.
The Critic and The Scribe Converse
tiOnally Debate.
Some Old Ideas Revamped and Put
Into New Raiment- Some Per-
tinent Questions.

morning constitutional upon which the
former insisted with the regularity of
pendulum; ''it seems to me, that here in
Sacramento, what we most need, if l
may make a half-random guess, is not
more reforms, so much as courage to
carry out those we have agreed are
good to introduce"
'sThen your rating of US is that of
cowardice?'
YES and no. The life of city. like
that of man, should be replete with
lessons. To fail to profit by them is
well, if not cowardly, courag age-failure.
For instance, you cynic"--
yes, for instance, everybody-what
a splendid breastwork that everybody
is, Ell? Everybody knows what we
need most here, but
That these stone crossings, for one
sample, should be kept clear of mud
these stormy days-slip! slipl splash
here we go!"
Yes! yesr' sputtered the Critic, as
he dug the mud out of his shoe side on
the curb. why isn't it done then?"
''The cost. my boy
Rats I aweary of that refrain. Why
it costs more to leave it"
"Oh, come now, it would cost heavily,
you know"
Perhaps, my worthy slave Of the
pencil, but heark We, not unless we to
party give up what was meant for man
kind" This keeping of the tax half-dol
lar so close to our eyes hides from US
the double eagle that we lose by not
making the tax four bit-piece a dollar.
I have nothing singular to unfold, but
only simple truth which everybody
knows, but the rare few alone confess.
Count the cost, extra, of course. of shoe
polishing, bedraggled skirts. lost time,
tracked-in-mud and the political clean
up when the mud stiffens and the shovel
brigade turns out, to say nothing of the
moral decadence along which oaths are
quarter-posts, and it would really be
cheaper to keep the mud off in the first
instance, eh, my boy?''
Come now, how do you apply all
this to your charge that we lack cour-
age?''
"Whoe'r spends a half-dollar for that
he can as well have for a quarter is
either a coward or a fool"
1T is pure generosity on your part
to suggest all this, my critical friend,
but pray figure the daily cost of sweep
ing crossings, and see if your nice taste
does not obscure your financial sense2'
"Ahl ha! You count me true Ish-
mael. do you, who never has a good
word to say, but only fault to find"
Now, I protest-look out there!
you
Too late. The critic is near-sightel;
hea mistook the apparent plane of
tagging. It was not solid. but a deep,
darksome, deceptive rut, worn out be-
tween the stones and filled with liquid
mud AS the scribe assisted him in
scraping down his hairy calf and
wringing out his sock, while the two
sat in the nook of a church door re-
cess, thus the critic explained himself:
MY dear fellow, love this town so
much that I wouldn't for anything pro-
pose chimerical schemes, or conspire
to rob the dear taxpayer. Bless you,
no; I'm one of the guild 'meseP,' you
know without the encouragement OF.
private patronage or the hope of public
applause. I do now and then offer an
idea for my fellow-men to chew on.
See?
There are $50 blocks in this city,
leaving out parks and factory sites my
thin and level-headed friend, Boyd, c.
E., tells me, and he says he has put rod
and level on, and squinted along the
side of the whole outfit. But there are
only $50 blocks with improved cross
Sngs that public cleanliness, the public
rocket and private comfort will much
profit by having swept. That gives us
coo crossings"
Yes, and think of the cost at 81
day to men to clear them daily. Why,
1t would swoop down into the treasury
until the watchdogs would grow hoarse
with barking"
"Shut up, will you? You paper
scratehers have the worst habit in the
world Of thinking you have solved all
municipal problems by applying your
gigantic intellects to your experience
and observation. There, there, I grant
you that you fellows generally go to
the bottom of the WELL but instead of
coming up in the bucket some of you
adopt the hand-over-fist method, on the
rope. you know. Never mind, though,
If you bring the truth up with you
Now see here, figure it out on the
back of this envelope Six hundred
crossings One man can keep sixteen
clean a day, six hours labor with
knock-off hour at noon. Don't inter
rupt I had a man who knows to figure
that out last year when Dug Lindley
and Engineer Fairman were cleaning
whole blocks Of three-inch mud of ten
horse power adhesive quality. and the
cost was less than 81 block, proving
what can be done when you put com
MOI. sense and some knowledge Of nat
ural laws together.
We'll as / was saving when you at
tempted to open that face of yours, one
man can keep sixteen crossings free,
clean. per day Of six hours; and when
say clean 1 mean casting the mud back
two or three feet each side. See?"
"Oh. yes, I see. could do more than
sixteen crossings myself"
eOf course you could, even with your
habby muscles; twenty crossings,
easy. But I want to get away inside
the line so as to be dead sure, my boy.
Now. then. we come 20 the meat in the
nut for it would require 3I12 men to
clean $50 crossings. But it would not
be necessary TO shovel and sweep on
every crossing every day, even in the
muddiest of the mud season.
You should not give California a
black eye like that"
''Oh, wei, the rainy season then. So
I estimate that every other day to a
crossing would be attention enough, 50
that really eighteen men ought to do
the work hands down, and no sweating
at that Now my sagacious friend
Barwiek tells me that we need never
calculate on more than forty-five days
in the year that may be properly stig-
Pure al
a N