The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-16
ly' And the Gate City now finds its
way from keokuk to Washington with
great regularity,


way from Keokuk to Washington with
great regularity.
Here is a story told as Justice Grin
Jones. Of San Antonio, Tex. tells II.
Among the cases found on his docket re-
Gently was one which the justice styled
Bodkins VI. Podkins. When 1t was called
for trial the attorney for the plaintifr
promptly answered .'ready."
II am not prepared to go on this MORN
ing" said the opposing counsel. ''and ask
for an Adjournment"
"On what grounds" asked Justice
Jones'.
I have not been able to prepare for the
case, owing to-ah. well-family complica-
tions." he replied. II have had a-well--
my wife has presented me with q son. l
really have not had any time to devote to
this case
cuse for an adjournment" exclaimed the
plaintins attorney. Il congratulate the
gentleman upon this auspicious event. but
l think he should be made to 60 on.
have brought all my witnesses into court.
at considerable expense. and l am entitled
to a trial.
Podkins's representative arose. bubbling
over with wrath. your Honor" he cried,
sho1ld ,sa my G client be injured by an aeei.
of mine? All. have not been able to at
tend to his business"
The adjournment was granted.
Mr.. Lacey of Iowa. tells the following
In 1880 when General Weaver was run
ming for president of the United States.
he addressed large meeting one day COM
posed Of rustic Missourians around Crack
er Neck. not great distance from Kan
sas CITY. In his speech he pictured a
Ctopian epoch of American history when
he should become president. Money was
to he as plentiful as razor-back hogs were In
that neighborhood. Everybody would have
stacks OF 1t. 1t should all be good money.
too. convertible on npresentation--paper of
course-greenbacks. Just as soon az he
was president he would begin to issue II
In volumes sufficient to supply every man
who wanted 1t. After the meeting" con-
tinued Mr.. Lacey, General Weaver was
approached by an odd-looking specimen,
regular type of a Missouri cracker. In
bare feet. butternut breeches that reached
down to his ankles, with one suspender
and no coat and vest, and straw hat,
into the sunlight
General Weaver" said the citizen from
cracker Neck, how soon do We GIT this
money. you been talkin 'bout?'
well. let's see replied the general
earnestly; first. I've got to be elected.
This is October. The election takes place
next month. can't be inaugurated until
next March. Congress doesn't meet until
December OF next year. A bill has to be-
prepared and passed. for you know con
money. That may take a month. Then
the bill Will be sent to the white house fol
my signature: and when I have signed Il
then we can begin to issue the money.
suppose. summing no his case. 1t will
take eighteen months altogether before
my policy can be carried out
! You say you'll have to be elected first
| and then inaugurated.' said the barefooteC
| MissOurian; then congress will have tc
pass the bill. and you'll have to sign it
and all this will take eighteen months?'
Yes. said the general
:" can't wait that long" said the lone
Missourian, and turned his back or
! Weaver"
"Wdlt take u little smack with me-"
They loitered by the sailful sea.
| She dropped her lashes modestly.
And mildly. meekiy blushin,
Said she: II will participate
In such diversion as you state.
! lf you the same will designate
A labial concussion.''
-Pearsons Weekly