The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-18
PIKE WANTED A FOUT.
Zeb White was Sick, But He Had a
Substitute.
HOW A CRITTRR NAMED PIKE BECAME

with him when he went the rounds Of
his woodchuck traps, and as we were
coming home he told me this story:
81 worked so hard fur three or TO-
vars arter the wah, he began, THAT I
got all run down and couldn't ekeercely
git about. Thar war days when 1 felt
purity we'll, and days when jest sot
around and hadn't strength huff to
move outdoahs. That same y'ar a crit
ter named Pike moved into the naybur-
hood. He was from Alabamy, believe,
and he let it be known powerful soon
that he was a hefty man in q scrim-
mage. He talked so loud and bowed so
high that ever body was skeart . him,
and he Jest went around steppiR high
and bossin the roost. Reckon We hev
met up with SIGH chaps in the no'th?''
Eyes, I've seen several of them. 5"
"That perky critter used to cum down
to my cabin and brag and blow and tell
how many men he'd licked, and one day
gin him plain to understan that didn' {
believe in his stories. That made him
mad, and he went away sayin as how
he'd wollop me fur his next victim.
BE knowed I was in pore health and
couldn't fight fly, but every two or
three days he'd cum down and stand in
front OF the cabin and yell:
90 Now, then, Zeb White, cum out
yere and git the awfullest wollopin a
human critter ever received. I'm no
hand to brag, but I kin tie both hands
behind me and then chaw ye up in two
minitE. I've licked AZ different mon ard
never even got my nose skinned. Either
own cp that ye dasn't fight man or
cum out and be wolloped.
''Ihat's the way he'd talk to me-, :"
continued Zeb, land I'd git so mad that
cried like child. Bimeby begun to
git ieetle better, and one day when he
was calm on ms to cum forth and be
wolloped I told him that IL he'd show
up week from that day I'd tackle him.
He went away crackin his heels and
whoopin and rejoicin, and the old Nom-
an SEE to me, seq she:
'Zeb White, if ye was we'll man
ye could wollop that critter befo'
could make a hoe cake, but ye've bin
down the banks all summer, and ye'
can't git we'll in week. I'm sorry ye
passed yer word, but bein it's passed
We'll hev to abide by it. I'll git whisky
and roots tomorrer and brace ye up. -
"And did you get better?'' I asked.
''No, / got wuss. Whisky and roots
was up, I was in bed and too feeble to
walk across the room. That pesky critter
knowed jest how it was with me, and
yit he cum and stood in front of the
cabin and shouts to the ole woman:
Ar this the dwellin place CT
varmint named Zeb White?'
She be.
Calls hisself the Postum Hunter
of Tennessee, don't hep
Yes, he do
Has wrassled with bars and wild
cats and painters, and thinks hisseh
powerful on the fght?'
That's my Zeb.'
Then I hain't made no mistake
Would ye do me the everlastin kindness
to tell him TO step out yere while chaw
his ears of to stay my hungerl'
He's sick abed jest now, but if
yen cum back arter dark he'll make ye
eat grass and heller like calfI'
I'll do it, ma'am! Thar won't be
no mo- delay?'
No, sahi'
He'll cum right out and be pulver-
lied, will he?'
'''He wilI!'
Then ye kin be lookin fur me,
Wilder Whitel I'll be kinder sorry to
see death take him from We, but I must
hev him fur my forty eighth victiml
Good AFTERNOON, Wilder White-good
arternoonl
''That's how they talked" said Zeb
as he heaved a rock at snake summing
himself on rock, land of co SO heard
every word of it. 1 jest couldn't help
weepin with my madness. How was
to go out and fight him when I couldn't
git outer bed7 That's what asked the
ole woman, and she sorter winked and
smiled and SEE to me, seq she:
" 'Zeb, doan' ye worry no, mo- bout
this Wollopin bizness, but leave it all to
me. If that varmint shows up yere to-
night, he'll be the wurst licked man in
all Tennessee befo' he gifts away!'
" But who's gwine to lick him.
sc Never ye mind!'
''She wouldn't say no mo-, - continued
Zeb, land I was too feeble to figger it
out. I cried myself to sleep, and it was
arter dark when I woke up. That thar
varmint had cum back, 'cordin to prom
Use, and was in front of the cabin
a-shoutin:
sc 'Zeb White, the time has cum fur
ye to be pulverized. Mebbe I won't do
no mo- than chaw yer ears off and Grip
pie ye fur life, but I'll do that much fur
shore. Cum outer yer hole and stand up
to me like man.
Jest about the time he begun to hol-
Ter my ole woman begun to git outer her
clothes and inter mine.
What ye gwine to do?' SEE I.
''Gwine out to wollop that critter CT
die, SEE she.
But ye ar a woman and Le's
powerful fighter.
Sc Zeb White. ye snuggle down and
keep quiet. He's cum fur fout. He's
bin promised one and has to hev it. As
ye can't fight him 1 shall, and I'm