Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-08-11
MARX TwAlN's FIRST LECTURE.
FORCED ON TO PLATFORM AS THE RE
Suit OF A PRACTICAL JOKE.


FORCED ON TO PLATFORM AS THE RE-
SILT OF A PRACTICAL JOKE.
A few years ago IL was my good or III
fortune to be mt the head OF an executive
Office under the federal government at
Washington. One day, during session
OF Congress, slightly built, gray-haired
man was ushered into my room, bearing
note OF introduction to me from Sen
ator Joseph X. Hawley of Connecticut.
The man was Mark Twain. | was glad
to meet him and told him SO, following
the statement by another to the effect
that something more than 20 years before
had listened with a good deal OF de-
light to lecture delivered by him In
Washington on the subject OF 1.-The
Sandw ich Islands"
"Oh, yes" said Twain, III delivered
such lecture in this city, and the
history OF that production was peculiar.
come here at that time for rest, and to
visit some Of my friends. Congress was
In session, and | expected To have a
good time. / arrived ip the city at
night, and, being tired, did not care TO
leave the hotel for any purpose until
morning.
'when opened the daily paper next
morning nj breakfast, what was my
ans cement TO see an announcement in
the advertising columns that would de-
liver a lecture that evening, at the old
Lincoln Hall, on the subject Of the
Sandwich Islands. had no such lecture
on hand. Nobody had asked me TO de-
liver such lecture. Not a soul had
spoken To me on the subject, nor had |
spoken To anybody Immediately or re-
motely limiting toward such per-
Torrance. To say that | was angry
would impcrfectly describe my mental
condition. For once language seemed
too poor 10 enable me TO do the subject
Justice. longed TO meet the miscrcant
of miscreants who had taken such ltber-
ties with my name. But the more re-
flected on the subject, the more the en-
barrassments of the situation dsN ned
upon me. Suppose | should make
public statement of the facts, that the
announcement Of the lecture was without
my authorization, knowledge or consent.
Half the community would not believe
me. They would think there was some
advertising dodge In some way connect
ed with IL.
AS YOU may imagine, my appetite
had disappeared, and my breakfast WIS
left upon the table untasted. wanted
| To find my unknown advertising agent.
When visited the hotel office | found
huge posters upon the walls making the
same announcement "a was contained Ia
the newspaper advertising columns, and
that the whole town had been billed ia
thorough manner.
by careful series OF Inquiries |
learned that an old personal friend OF
mine, whose hbations sometimes led him
into extrayagaucies and Inconsistencies,
had pu, up this job on me, not through
pique or malice, but In his exuberance At
learning Was In the city, wanted to
give a demonstration OF his admiration
for me. That explanation settled my
fate. saw Was la for 10. ! could not
inform the public that the whole miscra-
bic business Was the result Of drunken
freak on the part of oGe OF my personal
friends. So | went To my room, denied
myself TO all visitors, and devoted that
day 10 writing lecture on the subject
of tha Sandwich Islands. What YOU
heard on the night YOU spoke OF was the
result"
The lecturer had no reason To be
ashamed Of the performance, remarked
the Washington Star. He had a magni-
iicent audience. Representatives and
senators, bureau and cabinet officers,
citizens and strangers filed all the seats
of the Immense hall, and q ere was not
even standing room IN the aisles. THE
innocents Abroad had been published
only short time before, aud the public
had been quick 10 recognize the fact
which that work disclosed, that side by
side with the quaintest wit there were
specimens of rhetoric watch marked the
author as a master OF English prose.
As msy be supposed the Sandwich
Islands did not constitute the sole topic
OF that lecture. Ii WAS used as sort Of
drag net 10 bring before the audience
incidents and I'm, geries which had been
floating In the mind OF the lecturer In his
long experience "a n t.ayelei al home
and abroad.
When Twain brought the note OF In
PRODUCTION 10 me, ! supposed his CT 'ef
purpose was probably TO look through
the Institution then IN my charge; but
"a our conversation progl ,ssed, and
heads OF divisions and callers from the
Capitol dropped in on official business
and were introduced 10 him, he became
the centre OF captivated group Of
listeners, who remained rs long As they
could hear him talk.
At the time of his Lincoln Hall |
lecture 10 Washington Mark Twain's !
k.tr .,.l h..a - hal
front of the platform thought lac was "A !
splendid specimen Of young manhood. |
About 10 years aiterward | saw and
heard him again at the banquet given ia !
Chicago in honor OF the return Of Gen. /
Grant from trip around the world. I
The occasion called together more mill /
tary and lite AIRY celebrities than are |
likely 10 be seen again In one assemblage |
in n generation. Grant, Sherman, Sheri- !
dan, Schoiield, Logan and many other /
military officers less In rank were there, /
and among the gent emen announced for /
speeches were Robert q. lngersoll, |
Stewart l.. Woodford, Emory \. Stor.s, !
Leonard SWEET. William +. Villas and 1
Mark Twain. Ii was nearly O'Clock in /
the morning when the toast TO which |
Twain was 10 respond was read. Natu- |
rally, after sitting OF nearly nine hours
at the b. nqueting board, interest In the
procee iiugs might be expected TO
diminish and speeches TO pail upon the
ear OF hosts and guests. But when |
Twain mounted table to respond, every .
face in the great dining hall was turned
iowa him. The subject Of the toast /
was Babies, and IRON the BEGINNING |
to the end of the response there was up
roarious laughter. No spee"h Ca the |
many brilliant ores Of that night COM
pared with this.
THE LAUGH ON SMITH.