davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1896-08-23
A WORD ABOUT MULES.
He Had One of Them Once, and 1t Was
Enough for Him.

The old colored man was walking
slowly around the mule which had been
offered for sale. He held his head to one
side and gazed at the animal with crit
ical squint, says the Detroit Free
Press
Il likes dat mule. he said. II sutny y
likes de way he's put up. an I likes de
'spression er his face He hol's hissel'f f
right, too. Dah's er heap in de way a
mule hops hisse'f. Eff he keeps his head
up an looks yer in de eye, yeh kin gin
er'ly trust i'm. But when er mule keeps
is head down dar amt any tellin' what
minute his heels is gwinter fly up
He's a bargain" said the dealer, en-
couragingly.
Il knows it. All mules is bargains
desc days eff yeh's got de money ter buy
'em. An dat's what 1 got right here.
But l ain gwinter be in no hurry
We'll, you've said he's good mule,
and the price suits you. Why not close
the deal?"
''Doan' crowd me- Doan' try ter shove
me long. 'Lemme take mer time.
doesn' get ter spend money often, an
likes ter do it slow. Dah's one question
L wanter ask yer befoh we closes dis
here transaction"
go ahead
kin dat mule give good character
FUN his previous employer"
Il should say SO. He used to work six
teen hours a day, and only ate twice in
that time. He's accustomed to eat any
thing that happens to be left over from
the dinner table, from cold potatoes to
pumpkin pie. All the canal boatmen
say he is the best-natured, most eco
nomical mule that ever promenaded a
towpath."
did dat mule ebber pull er canal
boat?"
Yes; and he did it WELL too
Dat settles it. II wuhked one trip on
er canal boat, an / knows de kim er
talk dat er mule gets useter dar. / halter
glib up mer job, cause rs church
member an couldn't learn it. Dat mule
couldn' un'stan' me-"
He'd soon get used to you"
NO sub 1t 'ud take er long while
foh got dat mule wah he'd know what
I was a-sayin' ter i'm. He'd halter
begin all ober ag'in an hab er reg'ler
change of heaht befo' he was any good
ter me. rs gotter heap oh patience an
likes ter do good. But it's gwinter be
a busy season an / ain got no time ter
knock off an do missionary wuhk wifi
No Yn11Ie >,
The record-union., 1896-08-23
For the Record Union"
LAZARUS AND DIVES.

l dreamed of a palace of gold
woke on a pallet of straw:
My nngerS We're numbed and cold
But never a human tongue has told
The wonderful things | saw
saw from the court and the throne
The mighty ones OF the earth,
Go down to their graves alone
With gasp, and totter and groan
AS helpless as at their birth
They could bribe the earth with their
They could gather and stow away
They could soil the race with the blacklist
stains;
They could load humanity down with
chains,
But they could not purchase a day.
And the hours go by, and by,
And the gray creeps into the gold
But they cannot stop if they try
The seconds that come and fly:
And what can the greediest hold?
Only the rust of the years,
Only the ash of the wood,
Only the doubts and fears.
Only the certain harvest of tears
Only the drift of the food.
And is it we'll to be poor?
Yes, If only God wills
I'd rather be Lazarus, lain at the door,
With the pitying dogs to lick at the sore,
Than carry the wealth that kills.
The wealth that chokes up the heart
And closes the open hand
That tears the man from the beast apart,
That burns the conscience down to a
smart,
AS it hastens the run of the sand
Contentment is better than wealth.
And love than the light of throne:
For gold can never purchase health,
And the hand of disease, with steady
stealth,
Reaps what excess has sown
HIRAM HOYT RICHMOND.
The record-union., 1896-08-23
AND HE STILL LIVES.
Uncle Reuben Would Doubtless Have
Blown Out the Gas.

Many tales are told of the mistakes
made by rural visitors in city hotels
and very often the long bow is drawn
until it is in danger of snapping
aSunder under the strain. But here ia
one which is absolutely true, and which
happened at the Irving House on sun
day:
a gentleman from the regions of bu-
collie simplicity, accompanied by his
wife, registered at the hotel, and about
l0 O'Clock in the evening the clerk was
confronted by the husband, who re-
marked that they were ready to re-
tire, and who wanted to know when
the bed was to be put in their room.
A bellboy was dispatched to show the
verdant guests how the folding bed was
operated and for period of several
minutes all was quiet in the office, when
the man from the country put in an ap-
pearance. He wanted to know If they
couldn't have wash bowl and a
pitcher of water. Again the bellboy
was sent up to explain the mysteries
of stationary washstand
But more trouble was in store for the
attaches of the hotel, when an appari-
ton clad in airy garments was seen
beckoning from the top landing of the
stairs. 1t was the gentleman from the
country, who wanted to know how the
gosh derned light was put out" The
bellboy accompanied him to his room.
whereupon the countryman pointed to
the hand granades labeled fire extin-
suishers," and said he didn't know
whether to throw them at the electric
light or not.
The boy turned off the light and no
further trouble ensued, but the stranger
had made three trips to the office when
he might have touched the electric call
bell.-Philadelphia Record
The record-union., 1896-08-23
CAMEL MEAT IN PARIS.
ToOthsome Flesh of the Desert AMI
NAL the Latest DeIicacy.

The circus folk of Paris have always
been known for their efforts to disprove
the time-worn adage, There's nothing
new under the sum- says the New York
Journal" The oldest fads and the
queerest fancies emanate from the gay
French Capital. And the latest object
to attract the attention of the Parsians
is camel meat
The gourmets of France and a
man has no right to be called a Partisan
unless he knows what good living is,
even though he cannot always have it
have said that the flesh of the ship of
the desert" is not only good eating, but
is entitled to rank with other delicacies
which are hard to obtain. 1t has had
such vogue that plans are now being
made to bring it in large quantities
from Algeria.
The camel market in the latter coun-
try has been "cornered' by two men,
whom the official report of the French
Sanitary Inspector for that region calls
''Moabite butchers They have ar
ranged with French provision houses
to handle their product and have gone
to work to construct abattoirs, cooling
apparatus and everything that is nee
essary for the PREPARATION and export of
the meat.
The flesh of the camel bears remark
able resemblance to beef. It's fiber
however, is shorter and of shorter grain
On the other hand, it is as tender as
veal and among the Arabs 1t is esteemed
as being most nutritious. The choice
morsel of the camel is his most un-
calmly feature in life-the hump. When
it is good and fat it is a delicacy highly
priced by those who are fond of camel
meat. The hump is the storehouse of the
animal in his days of plenty and when it
is good and fat he has nourishment
stored away there sufficient to last for
several days. On his long trips across
the deserts he gets neither food nor
water except very sparingly and some
times has to go without them entirely
The fat which is stored in the hump
is then brought into play and furnishes
subsistence until he reaches another
pasture. The meat of the camel is
served in a number of different ways
by the Arabs but always in the simplest
style. 1t will. therefore. remain for the
famous chefs of Paris to devise methods
which will make it more palatable than
ever.
The record-union., 1896-08-23
DROVE THE AUDIENCE TO DRINK
Twenty-FOur Amateur Thespians
Tired Out on a Roof Garden.

My" said Colonel John w. Hamil-
ton. Who'd although it?'
Colonel John w had no right to be
amazed. 1t was by his invitation that
the two dozen amateur Thespians had
gathered on the Casino roof garden for
q trial exhibition of their talent This
is what he advertised:
Wanted-Amateur musical and dra-
matte talent; light specialties; especial
~ special or words to that effect.
About sixty amateurs answered. One
of them said in her postal card:
Am "a years of age; tall, stylish.
36-inch bust, % waist blue eyes. con
sidered nice looking, finely cultivated
soprano voice, wide range: can sing
grand opera Qtalian) and most diff
cult music"
There was also lady who recited.
When she had been speaking a few
minutes the audience learned that she
had a fearful tale to tell about youth
who had trouble at home, took a drink,
and was arrested for manslaughter or
some other violation of the Raines law.
How hard her feelings were against the
Harlem home he had deserted may be
seen in these two lines which the lady
frequently hurled at the audience:
He stood in the criminal dock
His heart as hard as flinty rock
This is Sig. Walter Hast" said Stage
Manager Mccormack, leading a youth
upon the stage. He's a singer-or a
Wheeler q Wilcox-and he has genius.
He's going to sing his own song"
Sig. Hast sang about something.
and the audience drank deeply.
a young man who sang "Oh, just
Tell Them That You Sore Me" did so
under difficulties. AT the drop of the
flag he got away before the field, and
at the quarter the first violin was a
poor second. The piano was left at the
post, and at the half drew altogether
out of the running. The violin. being
without company, pulled up, and the
young man ended his song in despair.
Then the three went back to the post
and the flag dropped again. This time
The record-union., 1896-08-23

future. If she is a girl earning a good
and comfortable salary through her
own efforts, she mentally decides that
she would be very foolish were she to
give up her position and assume the
cares and responsibilities of married
life, especially if the man in question is
earning less than herself. Like the
sensible girl that she is, she decides to
wait. It's very sordid and dreadfully
material to speak or even think of
money in the same breath with love, yet
this is just what the sensible girl does.
She knows that without money one
cannot live happily; that without it
love is very apt to fly out of the win
dow. That is why she waits, and though
she may be 30 instead of 20, when she
does marry she never regrets it.
BESELE,NA
The record-union., 1896-08-23

Men, why will be weak Why do not listen to the
flight the echo of the grateful raised
thanks DR.. Sanders Electric Belt? Why do you from
realizing that losing your force
hood when within gaspl Reach for It, take
heart and feel the life blood flowing dancing
through feel the exlratng spark manly
frame the bright Hash and the firm
handthe which clasps your felowman and tells
him that have found have regane
hood Act to-day do delay which the key
happiness do allow disease destroy all possibility of
future pleasure Whatever your condition to-day will
older Age vital force,
the older the and will be
weakness; it
The record-union., 1896-08-23

the youth won at the finish, with the
piano and violin unplaced.
1t was the intention of the Casino and
American roof gardens to inject into
the regular performance every night at
least one of the amateurs. But the
trial demonstrated that not one of the
two dozen who appeared was satisfac-
tory to the management. So all of
them will have to try again.-New York
World
The record-union., 1896-08-23
Idealism and Realism.

Professor-What's the difference be-
tween idealism and realism?
Varsity Girl-Idealism is when you
contemplate matrimony
Professor-Yes, and realism?
Varsity Girl-You get that after
ard.-Philadelphia Review.
The record-union., 1896-08-23
WHILE YOU ARE YOUNG

The time While the vital spark still 1T
easily famed flame Electricity Sandens Electric
Belt will make you strong if you try it
know
but loss that
Is smuchst thar
DR. Isl of
mont am the
Invalid sgn% % got
The record-union., 1896-08-23
Why He Liked Ii.

Prominent Citizen-They tell me you
are a free silver man; do you mind
telling me why?
Tramp-There's no secret about it,
boss. I'm for free silver cause they say
it's a scheme that won't work.-Ex-
change
The record-union., 1896-08-23
but a woman of uneommonly bright in.
tellectual attainments.

1t is limited that a certain very en-
gaging young lady who plays the guitar
quite often in our public gatherings,
and gentleman much favored by So
clety, who uses prefix to his name
indicative of one of the professions Ct
won't say which,, are much interested
in each other. If the interest is as deep
as public gossip portrays it, we may
hear something still more interesting
in this connection before the winter is
over. POLLY OLIVER.
The record-union., 1896-08-23
TheFipeOfLife!

The Wonderful Vitalizing Electric Currents Which
Dr. Sanden's Electric Belt Sends Leaping Over
the Nerves. Carrying Joy and Gladness to the
Heart, Saturatng the Body With the Fire of
Youth-lt Makes Old Men Young and Young
Men Manly.
The record-union., 1896-08-23
KNOW YOURSELF.

No appreciate the depth of this subject who does not
knows wherein unless he compares
with another curing unless
tells him. Five grateful describe their
Electric your benefit in the little book
Three Glasses of Men, will sealed free, by mail
Call address
DR.. A. r. SANDEN,
OMce Hours-S A M Sundays 10 to l.
AL. PORTLAND
The record-union., 1896-08-23

On Thursday evening ladies
night at Armory Hall proved to be a
very enjoyable affair. Miss Gertrude
Gerrish in solo and the orchestra from
the Brothers College, in training by
Charlie Neale, gave some very COM
mendable selections. After the pro-
gramme refreshments made very
agreeable finale to a pleasant evening.
The entertainment was given by Com
pany E, and Lieutenant j. l.. Hughes
had charge of the programme.
The record-union., 1896-08-23

There is one comfort in the tip-tiltled
haiti does not require curly bang.
The record-union., 1896-08-23

| Among other delightful people met at
| Shasta Springs are some of our own
townspeople. Mr. and Mrs. William J.
| Davis, who have taken a cottage for
| a season of pleasure. Mrs. Davis has
become quite a mountaineer and climbs
about in short skirt and leggings like
! a native.
The record-union., 1896-08-23

Miss Eva Reeves has been enjoying
the past week with friends at the Bay.
The record-union., 1896-08-23

Miss Mary Lewis writes from Pacific
Grove. Monterey, of lovely times en-
soyed in that woodsey spot by the sea.
The record-union., 1896-08-23

1t is said that two devoted brothers,
bCth bicylce riders, are both in turn
perfectly devoted to well-known
young lady, also a bicycle rider, and
when she is out on her wheel she al
most always has one on either side
paying court to her fair self and tribute
tc her grace as a rider. In such a case
what will the outcome be, do you sup
pose? A duel on wheels, or wheels
with the duel left out?
The record-union., 1896-08-23

Madame Marie Bishop, who at one
time came up from San Francisco to
teach a large vocal class in this city,
passed through Sacramento on the 18th
inst. en- route to her old home in the
East, where she has a brother living in
Boston She has sold all her property
in San Francisco, thus severing all old
California ties, and friends who met
her at the Sacramento depot said she
was perfectly and radiantly happy at
the prospect of meeting old friends in
her former home.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
TROUBLE IN 4 LABOR UNION.

The Journeyman Stonecutters' Association is con.
siderably agitaied the arrest OF four OF its
officers on "A charge OF conspiracy in ordering Q
strike which some other members OF the organiza-
ton declare TO have been unjus,ifiabe. II Is al.
legged that the trouble is the result OF strife be.
tween Irishmen who formerly controlled the organ.
ization and Scotchmen who now dominate II. The
mon who were arrested Robert Il air. Daniel
Call and Michael Hahn who are members OF the
Executive Committee OF the organization, and Rob.
ert J. Angeow its walking delegate. The p.aintiff,
who is represented by William A. McQuaid. OF
Sackett & McQuaid is William Mahoney. who was
one of about fifty men who were thrown out OF
employment by strike ordered on November 2
against the shop OF Rownsey 4 Jackson, No 90
East Sixty-fourth-st. The accused officers allege
that the men sought 10 circumvent a rue OF the
association BY returning to their employers a
tain percentage OF their wages. William Stalker,
nresdent of the Stonecutters Union and Phiin
wall a member OF the Executive Committee, for
whose arrest warrants had also been issued. sur.
rendered yesterday afternoon. and hearing was
set down for p. m. next Tuesday.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
CONFESSIONS ~ COAL PRICES.

As result OF the accumulation Of anthracite
coal NJ tdewater and at storage points there have
Il is said been some concessions In prices One
or two companies which bring large amounts Of
coal 10 tidewater have offered coal reduced
prices in order to empty cars. part of the coal
thus offered was what Is known stock coal
which always brings less than fresh coal The
production OF coal for the eleven months ending
December 81 which covers the period In which
the combination has been in existence. Will be
little under 5000 900 tons. against $4,000 tons In
,ba corr.gnonding period I'm 1895 A point that Is
NOT generally Is that In the production this
year there have been counted supply and washery
nal and cuIm where these kinds have been actual
y shipped and used This has never before been been
viii he approximately $4,000 tons against 10 900
900 tons last year. This year the companies have
made a good profit, whereas last year they say
thev made nothing The cold snap Ii expected TO
tone up the coal market
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18

No other oil and no other medl-
cine has ever been discovered which
can take the place Of Cod-llver Oil
in all conditions of wasting. New
remedies come, live their little day
and die, but Cod-liver Oil remains
the rock on which all hope for re-
covery must rest. When it is scien-
tihcally prepared, as in SCOTS Emul-
sion, it checks the progress OF the
disease, the congestion and lnham-
nation subside and the process OF
healing begins. There is the whole
truth Book about it free.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
OPPOSED TO SKYSCRAPERS.

The committee Of the Board Of Trade ana franz
porta,ion appointed to investigate the ques'io"
securing the passage OF a law restricting the
height of buildings Yesterday heard testimony
from Presidents Sheffield and Wilson OF me IRE
and Health boards. respectively and A. IT, Mii'H'
representing the Otis Elevator Company. MI
shefneld favored limiting the height OF buiinhsS
70 fifteen stories He said fl was almost imposs-
PIE to fight fires successfully In structures owe,
- teef high. Mr.. Wilson thought excessively sai,
syxuoings were menace TO health. lie saIu ~
Inut out light and that disease germs nourisncu
-, darkness. Mr.. Mills said the height OF buildngs
nor OF great consequence. so lar as eie'a'o'
SSssice was concerned.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
reAUDULENT COLLECTORS Busy.

The fact has been brought TO the attention OF
Postmaster Dayton that certain persons, represent
,hr,soIves as Agents Of the Postofiice Clerks
Assoc,ation. are soliciting subscriptions from mer-
chants and others this city, alleging that the funds
are TO be applied to the pnrpose Of securing legs-
a,on has thoroughly investigated the matter and
nracsived assurances from The president OF the
Clcrks ,n,horized by that association 10 make col
been nr solicit them. for the purpose Indicated,
d tbat any one engaged In sucn business shouid
az ~ Of once arrested.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
OTHER MUNICIPAL AFFAIRS.

The sum OF 81 ssO Is will have 10 be added 10 the
budget of 1877 through writ Of mandamus served
on the Mayor and other members OF the 6oaro Oh
Estimate yesterday. It is the amount sleh. 10.
the entertainment Of the pennsylvania Na''onA'
Guard when that body OF troops took part IN me
ci,~.s colnmhian celebration Of April 1898. The
municipal appropriation Was eHnaus,eu ,y cow mn
p.nnsvlvanians' bill was filed. corporation ,oul,
sol Scot, said that the order OF the court would
have to be oheyed. and on motion OF Coh.ro. t
Fitch the cost Of feeding housing ana CARING 10Y
IN. X keystone soldery was included In the coming
years estimates.
Two appointments Of special Assistant Tax Com
u,lssloners were made BY the TAX Board yester-
day under a law Of last winter; salary. &''o'
year the same that Of Deputy Tax commas
sioners They are TO assist the Tax Commissioners
esu.clallv I'm the heavy work In the four months
beginning in January, when the swearing Off OF
rcrsonal fax assessments starts in. Aonzo Bell.
an. Of the new men. was formerly Assistant Sec
rotary Of the Interior at Washington under oa arr
Schurz and represented The ola XNlAth D i,
ana ves in 0ne-hundred md forty second-s;.,
near Wells-avc In the Twenty,third Ward he
v,as sworn into office yesterday by Mayor strong.
and viii assist Commissioners Wells. William II.
Law. Of No Ss3 Fifth-ave.. IL the other Assistant
time connected with Tammany Hall. but went out
OF the organization about year ago after MAKING
ran for state Senator In the NNtn Distrlct Iast
the state Democracy ticket In the last
IS to assist Commissioner Sutro. He VIII take the
9TH q office to-day. \ special Getali from among
the Deputy Tax Commissioners Will be made to
assist President Barker.
The Rapid Transit Commission met In the Home
Life Insurance Building. No 257 Broadway, yes
,orday afternoon and discussed the Parsons under
ground plan for a rapid transit system. The Com
mission received a letter from Jesse w. Reno. ask
inc that h.. be heard in explanation of the plan
he submitted to the Commission several months
ago This plan Is the double-dcck tunnel arrange
mcnt OF the trains The Commission will give Mr.
Reno a hearing mex, Monday at o'clock. when II
meets again
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
FIRST BRIGADE.
SECOND BRIGADE,

The various prizes were awarded ne follows:
State prize. 18th Regiment; First Brigade prize
7th Regiment: Second Brigade prize. I'D Regi-
rnnt: third Brigade prize 10th Separate COM
many: Fourth Brigade prize. 18th Separate Com
many: Adiutant-Gencrals prize ltth Separate
cnmnanv and Governors Cup. Ordnance Sergeant
Iohn Corrie. 18th Regiment.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18

Coroner Dobbs held an inquest yesterday into
the cause OF death Of Sablto hi Salvo the Italian
who died at the Hudson Street Hospital last FRI
day night after having been assaulted and robbed
in the rear OF No. lS Baxter-st twenty-four hours
before The fury decided that Salvo came to his
death from Injuries inflicted by unknown persons.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
CRIMES AND CASUALTIES.

Charles H. Kroche. Of No. 1.s22 Second-ave.. was
Yesterday convicted in Recorder COTS part OF
General Sessions OF passing worthless check LOT
S7s on Henry Meyer OF No. 6 Coenties Slip. II Is
olIegea that he had passed a number OF other
@hecks made payable TO Behrens Co, OF Stone
Ct one OF the firms conducted by the valentine
Mclaughlin gang OF alleged swinders.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18

leave Washington tomorrow by way Of San Fran
cisco to return to his post In Guatemala ana Hon-
duras
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-18
GENERAL WHTTLOCK'S REPORT.
SHOWING MADE BY RIFLEMEN IN THE FIRST
AND SECOND BRIGADEs.

Brigadier- General 70. NJ. Whitlock. General In
spcctor Of Rife Practice. has completed his report
OF the work done in his department during the
year The figures for the First and Second bri
follows.