davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
THE WAY IT WAS PUT.

81 presume you gave the prisoner
some occasion to strike you?"
"Why, Your Honor, we were talk
ing about the coinage, and he made
some statement that called me to re-
mark that he had been misled and was
arguing from wrong premises, and
then he struck me-"
els that what he said to you pris-
oner?"
eyes, that is the substance of it,
Your Honor, but not the language.
What he said was that I didn't know
enough to pound sand in a rat hole,
and was talking through my hat like
a jackass full Of thistles and bull-net
lies ."-Indianapolis Journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
Z TOO MUCH.

"Young man," said the fond father,
"in giving you my daughter I have
intrusted you with the dearest treas
ure of my life." The young man was
duly impressed. Then he looked at
his watch.
Greatly" he remarked, 81 had no
idea it was so late. The cars have
stopped. Could I borrow your wheel
to get down town."
"Youug man, I would not trust any
body on earth with that wheel."-Jn-
dianapolis Journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
Matching Horses.

The demand for teams that are
we'll matched has led in the Eastern
States to the bleaching and dyelng
of horses until it has become quite an
art. This artificial coloring, however,
soon shows itself, and frequently
thereafter the horses have to be
sstouched up" Such processes are
believed to be less injurious to the
horse than to the careless purchaser,
who is often deceived in that way.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

Women who care to preserve the
whlteness and beauty Of their arms
II hands always wear loose gloves.
Ellen Terry, the great English actress,
has a large hand, almost masculine in
II strength Of its lines, though the
fingers are well tapered, but she never
seeks to disguise its proportions by
comparison in any direction.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
O IT HAPPENED.

Weary Will-"Lady, 1 wuz wunst a
prosperous merchant il he'd a luxur-
ious home, an honorable name, an
ten bloomin' an highly.educated
daughters"
Mrs. Wellment-"What brought
you to pogerty"
Weary Willie-"My daughters in
sisted on marrying highly.educated
men, an I he'd ter support ten fami-
lies. PUCK.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
A THIS BE TRUE.

a THIS BE TRUE.
Gus DeSmith lives next door to Mr..
Manygirls. Gus is very much annoyed
by the excessive piano playing of one
Of them, SO he said to old Manygirls:
"5ay, neighbor, can't you make
your daughter quit playing SO much
on the piano?"
"Look here, young man, if you
want that music stopped just marry
her. She will quit right off, then.
That's what she is doing it for
Texas Sitter.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
ACTED LIKE IT.

"When I married you,' he said, 81
thought you were al angel"
She looked at him coldly.
II inferred as much" she said.
There was something in her tone
that told him there was trouble in
store for him.
"From the very first" she went on,
"you seemed to think l could get
along without clothes. "-Chicago
Post.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
This Cat Had Reason.

A writer in the London Spectator
tells of o cat which found q pet white
mouse that had escaped from the cage.
The cat carried the mouse IN the
house, placed it on the floor and
marched out. Common mice had
never been treated that way BY the
cat. and it seems that the feline knew
that the Albino mouse vas entitled to
confederation
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
He EIlI.

DR.. Banks-"And in spite OF oil
rumors to the contrary, you are still
prepared to contend that Binks died o
natural death?"
DR.. Shanks-"I am; for during his
last illness [ attended him myself."-
Harper's Weekly.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
THE GROWTH OF ToLERATIoN.

THE GROWTH OF
Tom-"Yes, he married that girl
Jack-"I know he did. Why, he
thought that people who doubted that
she was the pink Of perfection ought
to be burned at the stake!"
Tom-"Well, he's willing to allow
more freedom of opinionnow.'-Pack.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

At the amateur artists exhibition.
Briggs -"That fellow at the door
had no r. ght to take away ny stick"
Griggs -"He was ply afraid
that I'D would poke tee pictures with
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

No 1d-"I'ce got to raise 500 this
week"
Todd-sIs it a case of necessity"
Nodd-'I should say SO. Ny wife
will come back if l don't."-Truth.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
AT THE ANCESTRAL CASTLE.

Old Retainer (confdentlally)-"Yes
sir, most of us in the servants all as
been in the Hearts, family forty
years."
The Earl's Father-in-Law from the
new-rich)-"Well, I'm sorry for you,
but you can't get any forty years
back wages out of me PUCK.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

Mrs, Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
t ,ething. softensthe gums, reduces intlatnma-
ton, allays pain, cIres wind collie. 25c. a bottle.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
Glddness Comes

With a better understanding of the
w transient nature of the many phys
ic. : ills which vanish before proper eff
for.L-gentle efforts--pleasant efforts
rightly directed. There is comfort in
the knowledge that SO many forms of
sickness are not due to any actual dis
ease, but simply to q co~nstipated condi.
ton of the system, which the pleasant
family laxative, Syrupof Figs, prompt
Nv removes. That is wy it is the only
remedy with millions of families, andis
everywhere esteemed SO highly by all
who value good health. Its beneficial
effects arc due to the fact, that it is the
one remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness, without facilitating the
organs on which it acts. tits therefore
all important, in order to get it's bene-
fetal effects, to note when you pur"
chase, thai" 81 have the genuine article,
whichi is ptfn lfactured by the California
Fig Syru CL only, and sold by all rep"
If in tt INioyn.o-to Of good health,
and the gstes is regular, then laxa-
tives or ossaer remedies are not needed.
If afflicted With any actual disease, one
NAV be comme1nsd othc most skillful
physicians, but if in need of a laxative,
then one should have the best, and with
the well-informed everywhere Syrupof
Figs stands highest and is most largely
usedand gives most general satisfaction.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

am entirely cured of hemorrhage Of lungs
by Piso's Cure for Consumption. LOUISA
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

FITSstopped free and permanentiycIred. No
fits after first days use of DR.. KLiNE's GREAT
NEKvEREsToREE. Free S2tIinl bottiearn treat
Use. Send to DR.. Kline. 3l Arch ST.. Phiia',fas
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

Ever since 1865 there have been women (mors
each year, who claim that there is no soap half
as good, or as economical as Dobbins' Electric.
There must he some truth i'll their claim. Try
il, see how much. You grocer has it.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

they are expected TOGO
the same work. Their duties
compel them to be on their feet from
morning to night, and many OF them,
in a short time, contract these dis
tressing complaints called female
Diseases"
Then occur irregularities, suppressed
or painful menstruation, weakness
indigestion, leucorrho,e, general de-
bility and nervous prostt ation.
They are beset with sucSltfymptoms
as dizziness, faintness, lassitude, ex-
citability, irritability, nervousness,
sleeplessness, melancholy, "all-gone"
and NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. feelings
blues and hopelessness.
In such cases there is one tried and
true remedy. Lydia E. Pinkhams
Vegetable Compound at once removes
such troubles. The following Is a
sample:
"Mv dear Mrs. Pinkham After
writing you, and before your answer
came. | was too miserable to go to h
store, and so lost my position. That
was five weeks ago. l am now back
again in my old place, and never 1el5
SO well in all my life. The bear
ing-down pains and whites have lett
me, and | am not a bit nervous or
blue. Life looks brighter to me- l
don't get tired, my temper Is real
sweet. and I could scream right OUT
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
0 1t

"Why, Mr.. Portly, you are all done
up. What's the matter?"
"Bicycle."
"But you don't ride a wheel"
mo, but the other fellow does
Fliegende Rlaetter.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

Briggs-"Well, afman has got to
vent his anger in Ssme way."-Judge.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
J !. 90

Sharply to the condition Of your blood. At
this season peculiar perils assail the system.
There are sudden changes in temperature;
fogs and %daInpness, chilly nights, lowering
clouds, drenching rains. These sudden
changes bring OF colds, f~evers, pneumonia,
bronchitis and other ailments. Keep the
blood pure. rich and full Of vitality and you
will be we'll. Remember,
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

Some men are SO shallow that every time
they scratch their heads they expose theil
brains.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
ALMOST 4 MIRACLE
TIFF RESTORATION TO HEALTH OF A
r~I:OMINENY MAN.
Norm Out by Erpn&urc and Broken Down
III Health iln Was III Misery for
ItonthE-Is Eow IL Well AID
HAPPY Nan-I;cld tho
Story.


FROM h@ "F'r$' tl}h'&'*f9, W.. va.
T., tho ir.erost NJ c,m;no, rmooi,v vorr
.'- nmS.ha
reporter HIS tH5 h'''f ~ SSI'i you ill inter-
e>;iEs anl profitable Interview lad with one
Of Harrison Cyurtv's most highly esteemed
at.a..z , b;- r,o
''''"'nS' a. AN '+'' "', "'-'' -. -
o':@ escape from heatA. LIE person re'efreA
t. is Mr.. Floyd T.. Barnett, Of huntsville,
w,.+ vire.;.:, .vh, il We, knovn through-
out tiaFIISoA '2GA'y "Al tlH'1 99o'1oN7 VI
the S.ato.
Mr.. Darne.t's nars,tjya ia as follows: 81
rra.+ Tn-.:rua- w.. v:~.;,;, u,. hor,
i've al '"''"Si 1-'' 'e'' '''I'"''' vas '"in
and raisel there, ana am thicty-nine years
VI age. l am a f&rmcr by occupation. and
D. exposure an I hartshi3s inciirnt to this
he finally oytrcaH.n a Strong constitution,
and in tic month ri Nav, 1894, / was seized
With what the medical fratcrnity pronounced
)intic raemmatism.
s.Tnn Iisnusn was first fat in the hip an
soon baca:ae severely painful. Within t.
short time the whole lower extremity was
affected AMI become terribly swollen, and at
s:zues the Pain w,ich was almost unbatrable
EXTENDED IN iu:u tbs shoulder. l consulted
the best ph!.!ri. ms AID specialists in the
country. some Of whom treated me some
fine Int to no successful purp0aa. | used
vlrious patrat mniicines and iiniments of
wide Recommendation, but none of them
rave relief. | worried along this way for
syne months, being UNI Die to work and at
times unable - move. y, became restless at
night and could not step. The disease
seemed to af..t M heart and it was utterly
lnDossihln t, Tie Oh lnr left side on account
Of the srriat@. e<5 Of tie pain at the heart.
sMy conIi IA seemed q hopeless one and
was much g. courayed. when iy chance 1
hanrened to read an account in the Wheel
in5 Tnhs oeudrnt of the wonderful cure of a
person afflicted Ike myself, that Or. Will
t tt,a,s in the the m '';5 c Of I titsember I immedi-
tl''ic ~ tn1 ~ - ! W. anyy hnc.n 70 nsn them
change commences az "ee. ,.i, -o,+
al continues to t0kettlt liliS untll L lell
entirely cured. To-Day | am a we'll ana
sound man. TIA pills not only cnred my
rhrnTnatjsm. but drove that troublesome
la q f"a i, SIS Al Fcr more than
t".n. 'ot- = i,nEn +r,nhInl i, the
& year hoN 7ia', h't ISL ot'.I -
slightest VITA cIthef hlalarH OF any otho5
for that matter. l am a str,lS man anu
perform as ln4.ch manual labor tS any far
mn~"
~. r,rno.+ 10 q ma hirlIv rasnncted for
vi. haIhnt' IS d IMAM n'sn'S n0strE h.ratad
FefatttH. NJ S'"'',h, = az nNasitn1
!N Ills neIGtlbofS anu bi7 fttoN - L, @7Ilio0u
to titeuse Of DR.. Williams Pals. AS ne talked
TO YOUR rcp0rter, he showed every sign OF
l1inr q man in excellent health and only toe
'.ia1 - tnIi thn simnlp story Of how his life
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

Adown the shore of pink old ocean
The blue art damsel goes;
From m ecru sky shoots a purple sunlight,
And STAMPS pea green freckles on her nose.
Detroit Tribune,
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
.. A $50 Doctors Bill,

II cannot YOUR T~ETrER1Sr
enough. | had erysipelas in my face and head
SO Gao that could not do any work in three
mouths, and tried the doctors, and my doc
lOfs bill is fifty Go.'ars. A friend told me to
get some of Your TETTERINE, and | did SO, and
II mas entirely cured me. | recommend it to
eVerybody.' Yours truly,
WILLI,M II. ALDERMAN.
La-fon p. o. Bullock Coz Ga.
| box by mail for go. in stamps.
j. L. SHUPTRINE. Savannah, Ga.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

1t is said that locomotive use a third Of the
coal p,ined in England.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
C

SIS London fosgy all the time"
eyes, indeed"
"What q cinch the weather propht
must have."-Naw York Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
NOT EXPLICIT ENOUGH.

She'll want to get q pint of your
best enamel"
Clask-'sYes, MADAM. Face or BIZ
cycle ?"-Puck.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SIX TCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Color-Urgent-A Sinecure-Not Ex-
plicit Enough-He Attended Him
AT the Ancestral Castle
Can This BE True, Etc.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

In the Nuremberg chess tournament. the
young German, DR.. Iaskar, fairly earned the
honor Of being the royal game.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
PPlcp OH E3rlh.

This is once more enjoyed by the rheumatic
wise enough TO counte act their progressive
malady with HoStetter's Stomach Bitters.
NO testimony is stronger than that which in
clcates it as q source Of relief in this COM
plant. 1t is also eminently effective as a
treatment for kidney trouble, dyspepsia, de-
bllltE. liver comp!a mt and constipation. Use
1t with persistence !or the above.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07

WALDISa, KlNNAN & MARVIN. Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure j. taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Testimonials sent free.
Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-11-07
WhNuF, nc ST

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
ally case OF Catarrh tat cannot IL cured by
Halls tatarrh Cure.
Z j. CHESET & 90, To,clo. 0.
We, the undersigned. have known t.J. Che
ney for the last Is years, and believe him per-
fectly honorable in ell business. transactions
and financially able to carry out any c5l!g&-
ton made by their firm.
VEST TkuAX, Mko!esale Dru.gists, Toledo,
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-03-17
THE BRITISH BLUE BOOK

WASHINGTON, March II, 1S9s-Sir
Julian Pauncefote received several copies
OF the Parliamentary Blue Book on the
Venezuelan boundary dispute in his mail
this morning, and one of his first acts
was to promptly send a message with
a copy and his compliments to Senor
Andrade, the Venezuelan Minister who
had already extended a similar courtesy
when the official Venezuelan correspond
sence was issued in book form a
week ago Today At that time Senior
Andrale presented two copies of the VOL
ume to the British Ambassador and
upon the latter's request responded as
Wen to still a subsequent request. and six
additional copies went from the
Venezuelan legation to the British
Embassy. I4lese incidents indicate
that while there are no direct diplomatic
relations between the two countries cor
dial personal relations exist between the
official representatives at this capital.
None of the copies of6s;se British Blue
Book received by the British Ambassa-
dor today will be presented to the
Venezuelan Boundary Commission
which has not yet been recognized
in any manner by Lord ,Salisbury's Gov
ernment. The Commission was yesterday,
however, supplied with a number Of
copies WHICH had reached the State De-
partment from Ambassador Bayard and
the members of the Commission are now
engaged in studying the arguments in
support of the British contention.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-03-17
BUT0HERBD HIS YOUNG WIFE.
A Farmers Fifmsy Shot Gnn Ex.
cMsa DoeA NAt EaYa Kim


GAINESVILLE. Ca, March IL, 1885,
Henry Patterson, Hail County noun
taineer farmer, has been arrested for
murder. Patterson reported that he had
loaded his gun to shoot a chicken and
that the gun failed to fire. He went back
into the house for another cap and in the
attempt to substitute it the hammer Slip
ped and the gun went off, sending the
load into the head OF his wife. Who was vas
lying on the bed beside her little baby
The story was not a plausible one. and
Wnen the inquest was held, the coroner
demanded an examination of the dead
Wpman's head. The relatives of the Young
man objected and the Coroner'S Jury re-
turned verdict against the protests of
the Coroner that the killing was acct
The bed disclosed no signs Of shot and
as if made by tine wadding Of a gun at
close range. The baby that was lying be-
side It's mother was unhurt The body
was inferred, but Coroner Dorsey was
satisfied that there was foul play, and
yesterday in company with Sheriff Mum
dy. Solicitor General Thompson and DR..
e. r. Ham, exhumed the body On ex-
animation DR.. Ham found that the wo-
mans skull was crushed in the front and
behind as If by an axe and there were
no wounds that could possibly have been
ton was conclusive that the young wife
had been brutally murdered, and that
after she was dead had been shct in the
forehead with a gun that contained only
Wadding. the latter making the saorched
wound on the front of the forehead.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-03-17
GRHPsVILLEs POT AND KETTLE
Minkaiwas and Leaguers at 1t
Again for Supremacy and ssPap.,,

At the meeting of the Minkakwa Club
held last night in the clubhouse, No. GA
Ocean avenue, little was done by the few
members present beyond discussing the
possibilities at the primaries tomorrow
night In this clubhouse will be held to-
morrow evening the joint Republican
Fourth precincts Of the Seventh ward.
and over the election of the delegates to
State, city and ward conventions, there
promises 10 be a bitter fight.
The MinkakWas, ON the one hand, will
marshall their forces against the Green
vile League Club on the other. Both
sides, have been hustling hard for the
past two weeks. Both Clubs have sent
out circulars to Republican voters in the
four precincts, and the side which loses
will not do SO from lack of action Of the
most vigorous sort.
There are examinations and recrimina-
tions hustled back and forth between the
ocean avenue crowd and the s'Globe
Hotel gang as they affectionately call
each other.
The Minkakwas claim that the League
Cubs ticket is a mugwump mixture of
quasi-Democrats, Socialists and a few dis
grunted Republicans. They also claim
that the members of that club are out
for Offices and plenty of them In return
the L1eaguers say the Mnks want every
thing for themselves. Each faction is
sure of success, and from the opening of
the polls at three p. NJ, until they close
at ten o'clock, things will be warm in
the MinkakWa clubhouse
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-03-17
JAMESON In COURT.
BIZ Cable 10 the United prrsx

LONDON, Mach II, 1886. examina-
ton of DR.. Jameson and his fellow off,
GERS in the Transvaal raid was resum-
ed in the Bow Street Police Court this
morning. AS at the previous hearings.
the court room was filed with members
Of the aristoeracy. friends and admirers
a.. II e.. G., watched the proceedings ON
pehalf of the Transyaal Government.
associated with him was Sir George
PaTns w9 an9 PTSrsparsd Pre- arsb the case for NJ
London Times" before the Parnell Com
z MISSION Among the spectators were
Lady CranIborne, Lady Bayfeigh and
aas. Mrs. Asquith, wife of the late Home
Sergeant Ruck, who took part in the
RAID, was called to the witness hoy and
uescrlped the progress of the expedition
INTO the Boer country.
Several troopers who took part in the
night with the Beers at Krugersdorp
We're called to the witness bog and mar
rated their experiences. the facts Of
Mnlcn y q, naye already been published The
stress upon admissions made by the wit
nesses that stores, relays of horses.
arms ammunition, etc., awaited the
= aneson expedition at various points on
ing that the raid had long been planned
ana was not due to the Johannesburg
7Committee's letter which was read after
lne expedition arrived at Krugersdorp.
,SeVeral witnesses testified on behalf of
me Government, that they had acted in
the capacity of messengers When they
found that wires had been cut behind
Jameson's party SO that they could not
pe communicated with, the witnesses
s sa they 6{esrtook persas s gspfy a06
Tried nee IN vain to induce him to return
Ine nearing Was adjourned for a week.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-03-17
RED CROSS START.
BIZ Gable to the United pr,ss

3 CONSTANTINoPLE, March H. 1885,
Messrs. Wistar and Wood of the Ameri-
can Red Cross Society via start for
Asia Minor ON March 19 They are pro-
ylded with passports to Iskanderan and
intend going to Zeitoun. The Porte de-
slres that a Turkish official shall dis
lrioute the funds which are to
pe given to the Impoverished
that Miss clara % Barton presiaenf pProban1f
OF the American Red Cross Society, will
consent to the presence of a Turkish off,
clal provided he is governed in his acts
Dy her agents. 1t is expected that an
trade based upon this condition will
soon be issued Most of the relief to be
distributed will be in the shape of goods,
The Porte has demanded that the Ar
menlan Patriarch write an autograph
letter admitting himself bIameable for
the outbreaks in Armenia. and it is the
intention of the Porte to print the letter
IN the event of its being written in d
Red Book, the purpose of which will he
TO show that the statements contained in
false -. a ineiiia are
The. Porte has also informed the Pa
lrlarch that his continuance i'm office will
provoke further massacres The Ar1ne-
man can resign his office only with the
consent of the National Council, which
lhe sultan fears to call together A num-
per OF deputations called upon the Pa
trlarcn on Sunday and Monday and be-
sought him to remain in office. The mem
pers OF the mixed council have threatened
to resign if the Patriarch resigns. Russia
is using strong pressure to force the Pa
triarch TO do So
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-03-17
0LYMPIA'S PAST RUN.
second Fasfest War Ship Ahoat
other Good Vessels.

WASHINGTON, March I, 1S9s.-A re-
cent speed run OF the cruiser Olympia be-
tween two Chinese ports was made the
subject of an official report which has
just reached the Navy Department. Not
Wlths Landing very rough weather, the
olympia averaged 20 knots an hour, and
would have made % knots according to
her officers, in smoother water, thus be-
coming the second fastest cruiser in the
W Grid. The Minneapolis, Of cur navy,
which holds the record. made her re-
markable speed of 2S knots and a FRACTION
on her official trial. where every condition
was favorable to speed and where forced
draught was used
The Olympia ran under natural draught.
Her headway was SO great that the
decks were swept by the waves, and it
was necessary to slow down to avoid dam
age AS it was some damage oc-
CURED
The rehabiiitated monitor Monadnoclx
also bids fair to be an excellent vessel. A
report ON her recent trial near Mare
Island. California, has been received at
she made 4 knots an hour under condi-
stions which showed that she was capable
of making 81 The horse power devel-
soped was 2,180. Better results are ex-
pected when the crew and engine room
force become used to their work
The Olympia was built under private
contract at the Union iron Works, San
Francisco.
& The Monadnock IS an old war time
monitor which was rernoieied.