The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-04-17
A Bouquet of Jests
BY Eli Perkins.


From the Chicago Tmes-flerald.
chief Justice Waite, who delighted to
tell legal stories, once told me this story
about Evarts and Conklins:
Roscoe Conklins came into Mr.. Ev.
arts office one day, when he was Il
young lawyer, in quite u nervous state.
"You seem to be very much excited.
Mr.. Conkling," said Mr.. Evarts. as Ros-
coe walked up and down the room.
"Yes. I'm prOvoked-I am provoked.
said Mr.. Conkling. II never had Il ell
ent dissatisfied about my fee before"
well, what's the natter? asked Mr..
Evarts.
"Why, I defended Gibbons for arson,
you know. He was convicted. but ]
did hard work for him. took him to
the superior court and he was convict
ed, then on TO the supreme court and
the supreme court confirmed the judg-
ment and gave him ten years in the
penitentiary charged him $4,000, and
now Gibbons is grumbling about it
says it's too much. Now. Mr.. Evarts,
ask you. if ! really charged too
much?"
WELL" said Mr.. Evarts, very delib-
erately, "Of course you did a good deal
of work. and $4,000 is not very big fee,
but to be frank with you, Mr.. Conklins,
my deliberate opinion is--that-he--
might - have - been - convicted - for
-less-money."
Chief Justice Fuller tells many legal
stories Once, he said. he was quite
shocked during d real estate trial In
Chicago. 1t was years and years ago
when John Wentworth was said to GO
every morning and look through a knot
hole in fence around a vacant State
street lot. When asked by Thomas
Hoyne what pleasure there was looking
through that knot-hole, Wentworth
said:
"Why. 1t Is q SenSation--an ineXpres-
sable sensation for me to look through
that board fence and see one piece OF
Chicago real estate without mortgage
on it,
Tom b. Reed tells me that when Chief
Justice Fuller was a boy he belonged
to n debating club in Oldtown, Me
one evening capital punishment was
debated. The deacon Of the churcl
was for hanging Young Fuller was
opposed to capital punishment.
Said the deacon. quoting from the Mo.
sale law: Whose shedde.h mans
blood, by man his blood shall be shed.
Thinking this to be a bOmbshell to his
opponents he dwelt upon it till his tint
had expired, when young Fuller sprans
to his feet and said:
"Supposing we take the law which tn,
gentleman has quoted and see what tn,
logical deduction would come to. Fol
example, one man kills another: anothe,
man kills him, and so en-, until we come
to the last man On earth. Who's goins
to kill him? He dare not commit sui
eide, for taat same law forbids 1t. Now
| deacon" continued the boy, what ar,
you gcing to do with that last MANI"
The boys logic called out rounds o.
| applause and vanquished the deacon.
Some Of our best wit comes through
our city judges in their examination o
prisoners.
One day O'Rafferty was up befor,
Judge Brady in New York for assault
ing Patrick Murphy, and this was tn,
examinations:
| "Mr. RAFFERTY," said the Judge, "wh,
did you strike Mr.. Murphy"
Because Murphy would not give m,
a civil answer TO a civil question. We,
| honor"
What was the civil question yo,
| asked him."
81 asked him, as polite as yeZ plase
| Murphy, aint your own brother tn,
| biggest thafe on Manhattan Island. ex
cepting yourself and your uncle, who l.
absent at the penitentiary in Sin,
| Sing?"
And what rude answer did he Civ,
to such a very civil question:"
| He said to me, 'Av course, prism
company excepted so said, Murphy
you're another, and struck him wild m,
| fist"