New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-05-01
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Mrs. Eugene Daniels, OF Canaan, y. H., hasl
tame crow which talks and goes to church even
Sunday in the literal sense Of the word for II wus
outside at the door until the service is over.
An Opt.mlst Hotelkeeper-What did the strange
say when you gave him TIE bill? Waiter-suA
monstrous prices he never "a W; We were an abomr
| inabie gang Of thieves Hoteikeeper-Good. So b
didn't become abusive. acknowledgements Bla;ter
! Saws a writer in The Philadelphia Recorf:
MANY Of the very best canaries are captured VA
In the United States. Southern California is full u
wild canaries and there are no better singers 10 tA
world In some sections the air seems TO be nllM
| with melody. They are so plentiful that the hou
| kill then In great numbers with sngshos al
| they are little more thought OF than sparrowa
! prefer the American canaries to the imported. and
there does not seem TO be any danger that the sup
| ply will ever run short
A SYMPHONY.
Is done let down De iddles strings
An Is hung i'm on lie wall.
Fob I doan' hab use for no sech things
When de souf win comes ter call
Fob de cloud ne res by de ribber bank
Ter bark ter de chorus whah De weeds grow rank
An de bullfrog hammer on is big bass drum
Yoh's got ter eddycate yer ear
Or yoh can't appreciate
De compositions dat yoh hear
When er wahm days CROWN late;
But when yohs in de frame Oh mind
Yoh wants no better dan what yon ma ,.,...
When de small birds whistle an de yaler )aeks~
hum. . -,
" Washington star
AnthropoIogists and other scientists are deeply
interested in a discovery made recently near Dick
inson ~ d. number OF well-diggers whiA
picking away at depth Of forty feet below soio
.our-foot vein CT coal. came across a human skuu
In excellent state OF preservation. How II came
there and to what race 1t belonged are the Quss'
lions to be decided.
His Worst Break.-"I reckon the durnedest 10y
trick ever done. observed Mosely Mrasss we
was entertaining his friend Tufrod knutt. with :
few choice "reminiscences, wuz falin down wunss
In dead faint in front OF big buildn, nst 0ones
continued Mosely Wraggs, shaking his head saaN
at the recollection. Hit WIZ water-cure"-
Chicago Tribune.
Americans apparently are not the only ones wno
suffer from the lack OF good servants. Houseu"~
will probably appreciate the motives which leo
the insertion of the following advertisement IN
"The Southeastern Herald" OF England: Genera
servant required. board-school training; noe'1
wages use OF piano. time allowed for pracuAns
violin and dancing: all evenings OUT followers w
limited: dirty work done by mistress and dstS~
tiers; early riser objected to; bicycle and MOURN
costume provided latchkey; highest re'ere"'~
given, none required"
Among the Brigands.-Friendly native tsn an
hands with stranger about TO DEPART wis1 ~ mo.
pleasant journey. sir. and hope you W." W wv
Tested by the brigands. $1,000, =, The inn,
Gentleman who has been badly teeced a. az. '1 ,snT
Your advice comes too late my frieno' lie ''"S
done.-(Leschaalle
The Japanese have again given evidence OF tnes
practical IDEAS Instead OF presenting medan
the soldiers who especially distinguished the"se.
in the late with China. the Governme". -
purchased 1900 watches at s. 80 each. IN s"i'''
land which will be given to the brave feio"S
THOSE DREADFUL GIRLS.
The poster girls have scarlet eyes
And yellow cheeks and purple man.
With brownsh ears and greenlsn Hps'
In tints outre beyond compare
The poster girls are gaunt and queer, ,..t-
With ghostke waists and ghoulsn Iee'
Such CHASTITY hands and arms-os, oea''
"na' 10 the poster "a'uens E- .a Record
Almost every American who has travelled
Europe In the last forty years has had q cop' -.
The American Register" In his hands. IL We" "a.
wade mecum." his c.cerone in all European p.AI A.,
The popularity Of THE American Register a..
to the fact that 1t Is National and America"
voting its attention mainly. not to say excius'e'
to and affairs OF the United states ~,
founded by DR.. Thomas W. Evans as w..
sheet especially to advocate American N.us
and commercial interests, at q time when 49, 49,.
knew little about the United States. whose ..n
was energetcally defended by THE Am-A
Register" against European indifference or rr.m
lence during the late war Since then Df' ma
has grown old. as well his faithful sn s... 10
editor DR.. Edward Crane. and they are ahA~ '-,.a
ntrust the future OF the veteran American -
in Europe to other hands The paper ms III
offered for SALE and 1t is to be hoped tina. ...n
pass into the hands OF some patriotic An .. hat
anxious not only to acquire good proper" .ner
to keep from falling under foreign contro' a,.sA
which for forty years has SO valiantIy Ger. GER. IA
American political and commercial intefs'
Europe.
do you want any tin cups to-day. ,ors OF 8
salesman In q big Chestnut-st jewelry s".Vo rye
customer. The latter laughed and sag -. years
had the last l got from you Tor tnsee e.fssman
When the last speaker had gone out tns ..srheres
turIed to another customer and remarxeu me pros
q funny thing. That man who Just ieit 70 rtty He
prietor OF a big hotel down at Atlanti. teeos Q
kas passion for s.lverware. and always ~ ofnlA
solid silver cup at the big ice-cooer IN ~ steal 3
Some people can't resist the Temptation t.T.r Way
handsome silver mug when II comes IN ssn,si pfo.
with nobody In sight. So for time the nus He
prtetor was kept busy buying silver and yet
used to lose one about every two mon M hit upo4
he wouldn't give up the fad. Finally ne ~ Gun Of
a happy expedient He had US make ni I'M ordinary
solid silver built upon the mcde OF tne ,rtsins 10
tin cup. such as one finds at drinking aoe" mat no
the park The deception was SO ci .T tina CUP
ore thought It worth his while 70 ss% "-GShS