davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
Conversational Physicians.

The next thing for the congressman to
do. now that they have got private sec
retaries for the year around. would seem
to be to vote themselves private physl-
clans; say one physician for each block
Of five congressman. There really seems
to be the nPod Tor congressional physi-
clans, not OILY to keep the congressmen's
throats aud hearts in working order, es-
peeially about the time they are chal-
lenged to joint debate on the stump, but
for the purpose of conserving the honor
and dignity of the two houses.
There was Howard of Alabama, who,
while sick, went into the House and made
a spectacle Of himself Dozens and doz-
ems of people were sure he was drunk.
But Howard himself has testified that
he wasn't drunk, and appealed to the
House for protection. The only way 10
protect him, of course is to provide a
House physician, or physicians, whose
straight, to diagnose all eccentric gyra-
tions Of the arms and vibrations of the
legs as cases of more or less desper-
ate illness, and to issue certificates to
that effect for the benefit of newspaper
correspondents. The melancholy case OF
Mr.. Cobb, of the same state as Mr.. How
ard viii be recalled. Mr.. Cobb was sick,
and was taking a little cold tea for his
health. Tom Watson of Georgia mistook
the cold tea for something else, and al
legged that the effect of the something
else had made the gentleman from Ala
bama forget where he was at" Had
there been congressional physicians on
duty at that time, that lamentable ana
memorable incident would not have oc-
Cured.
There is immediate demand for the con-
gressional physician. On the score OF
economy there is the probability that he
could reduce the expenditure for the con
gressional funeral. If each physician of
the staff of congressional physicians could
prevent one congressional funeral he
would save his salary, and each add
tional congressional funeral prevented
would be SO much clear profit to the gov.
eminent.
Furthermore, each constituency has a
right to expect that congress will return
to it its representative in as good condI-
ton as he was when it sent him to con,
gress. For instance, there is Mr.. Crisp.
all out of gear physically with some
thing the matter with his throat and his
heart His constituents now desire to
hear him discuss the money question with
Mr.. duBignon, but he cannot, because OF
i'll health. Congress ought to look out
for that. There are huDdreds of argu.
ments that might be advanced in favor
of the congressional physician. The con-
gressmen themselves may think them our
and advance them shortly, if the republ,-
cans continue to govern the House.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17

Mr.. BeerDohm Tree, while playing Hart
field IN Jim the Penman," at the Hav-
market theater, was induced to go TO
oxford one afternoon and play Iago. The
OhIy way OF avoiding very awkward con-
sequences was to dress in the train: and
TINS Mr.. Tree had prepared himself IN
40 II as he feared, "Othello" at OK
fora was late; ana, as it was. he only
(usI caught his train TO London by throw
fIrs an ulster over his Iago
ton. Arrived there, he TIMED fbe
guard and got a compartment to himself
30 Tar, good! By the first stoppage the
1aBo beard was off, and Mr. Tree bore
the appearance of an ordinary English
gentleman to the obvious mystiffcati0n Of
the guard, who looked in as he passed
along the platform, stared, grunted. but
ended at that
But, when the time came for taking
llcKets, another metamorphosis had TAX
en- place. The Hartfeld wig. Whiskers
and above all, the fairfield nose. had been
assumed, and when the hawklike and for
Dldding face doomed out of the grow
inS SHADOWS in answer to the cry of
Ilckets! the suspicion of the guard was
thoroughly aroused. And now to can ii
al, Mr.. Tree had lost his ticket This
was the last straw, and, with omnibus
severity, the guard said sharply: Lost
IL! dessay! Come-take off that nosei
we know your sortp' 1t was only by the
application of liberal largesse that the
hdymdrket audience was not kept wait
ing. Mr.. Tree is convinced that in his
secret conscience that guard fully be
lieves to this day that he aided and abef-
inal.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17

with the insurgents would humiliate
her greatly. ana would likely bring on
a revolution Ia Spain that might result
In the overthrow Of the Spanish govern
meuL TO lose il 70 a war with the
United States would save SPANS pride.
and would bring all the Spanish people
10 the support of the government
Although the recognition Of the bellig-
erency Of the Cubans would not be a
cause for war. it is quite certain tAat
Spain would make il so. The President.
however. would not hesitate long about
granting Cuba beuigerent rights If notn-
ing more than war with Spain was in
volved, though war with even so weak a
power as Spain is not desired by the great
majority OF people. There is another mat
ter 10 Doe considered. 1t IS the Venezuela
question. That question is in a fair way
Of settlement but if England saw a chance
20 have il settled her own way she would
probably seize upon it, Il is believed by
the President, from information which he
possesses. that if the United States should
have a war with Spain England would
ind a pretext for interfering in support
Of Spain. and the United States would
become involved in a great war.
is such a war desired by the American
people? Is it desired even by those who
are loudest in their condemnation Of the
President for his refusal to recognize the
beligerency of the Cubans? War with
Spain alone would not be alarming, but
war with Spain and England would be a
very serious matter.
In the event Of the coming of such
trouble as a result Of recognizing the
Cubans as insurgents the President could
of course throw all the responsibility for
Il on congress, but he is not the sort
Of man to yield to public clamor when
he knows he is right, or TO crawl out or
the responsibility for an unfortunate con-
dition Of affairs which he could have pre-
vented. He prefers to endure in silence
the condemnation heaped upon him by
those who do not see the whole situation.
trusting to time to make public the facts
that Will prove the wisdom of his policy.
He may be driven by public clamor
from the safe path he has chosen. but it
does not now appear as if he would. The
Spanish government has yielded to his
request in respect to the Competitor pris-
oners. and the danger of trouble from
that source has disappeared for the pres
emit But another similar incident that
could not be so easily adjusted is likely
shown by the Spanish government to be
ugly would likely cause the President to
recognize the belligerency Of the Cubans
which might prove to be a long step in
the direction of war with Spain.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17

Some days ago Senator Jones of Ne
vada was entertaining a party of friends
in the cloak room with stories of his
early experience, says the Chicago Rec
ord, and to the surprise of every one
asserted that he had boarded a schooner
at Cleveland, o., in 1878 and sailed in
her through the lakes, down the St. Law
renee, around Cape Horn and into the
bay of San Francisco without going
ashore. The voyage lasted nine months.
and for more than eight months he was
out of sight of land. Senator Jones was
enjoyed the trip, although, perhaps. he
would find it a little tedious at his pres
ent time of life.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17

gentleman in London having portrait
of man claimed to be by Sir Joshua
Reynolds, wrote to an art dealer in Wash
ington asking whether there was a posi-
blity of its sale in this city says the
Washington correspondence of the Chicago
Record; The latter thought it was likely,
and asked the owner to send it over. A
few days latter it arrived he invited a
worthy gentleman, who is famous for his
wit, to inspect it, explained tn. artistic
merits of the work and its great value and
suggested that he might hang it in his
house as the portrait of one of his an
cestors. After a few days of reflection the
oiter was declined, and the art dealer
sought a well known multi-millionaire
who was Immediately captured by the an
cestor idea, and paid $3.50 for the por-
trait. Soon after the purchase was made
customer No. ! was invited to dine with
customer No. 2, and recognized the pic
ture hanging on the wall opposite him in
the dining-room. "Ah," he said to his
host, you have a remarkable work of art
there. 1t is evidently masterpiece. Who
is the artist?"
Sir Joshua Reynolds" was the reply
1T is a portrait of one of my ancest tors, .
He caOe very near being one of my an
cestors," was the tart retort "only / was
hard up just then and could not afford
him."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
PERSONAL.

Clara Schumann, the renowned pianist
suffered an apopetic stroke recently at
her home in FrankfOrt-on-the-M Main, from
which she is not expected to recover. She
is now IS. Her first appearance was as a
juvenile prodigy in 1890
The Sultan of Turkey, who consumes a
larger number of cigarettes than any other
royal parsonage in Europe, is run very
closely by the German emperor. The Car
of Russia has recently taken to cigarettes,
but the pipe used to be his favorite.
Mr.. Balfour is an intensely INDECENT
man. He so arranges his work that he
can lie abed until noon at least five DAYS
out of the seven. He is in his element in
broad generalities; he revels in destructive
criticisms, both personal and political.
1t said that President Kruger of the
TransvaaI republic had confined his read
ings to the Bible and Pilgrim $ Progress
until recently, when some one gave him
one of Mark TWains books. The humor
of the American joker happened to hit the
Boer ruler in the right place; and he has
purchased a full set of Mr.. Clemens
books
Prince Frederick Leopold Of Prussia.
who is the protector of the Berlin Indus
trial Exhibition, which was opened a few
days ago. is a son of the famous RED
Prince" Frederick Charles, the cavalry
leader. He is a third cousin and brother
in-law of he Emperor of Germany, and is
the richest member of the HohenzollerH
family
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
BnsebaII SUPERINTENDENT.

Inc funniest game of ball ever played
IN America took place on the New York
Polo grounds five years ago. says Digby
Bel, to the Washington Post. 1T was for
IHe dement, OF Carl Rankin, the comedian.
10y was the pitcher. De Wolf Homer.
gouls lTHIy and BIZ Hoey played on the
g ptiS Fahcls Wilson was short. and
DICK Golden, Lew DOckstader and Jimmy
Powers We're in the outdeld An advanc r
dSg1l, named Clark, was the backstop
Eete Daly was the umpire Pete wore
MdcDeth armor and fur cap. with a
par OF ear-muffs, and carried a pair of re-
1UINeIs. EVERY time he called a strike he
qIschafged blank cartridge He gave
51ioey Dase on balls, and Billy made a
ulnG LOT nrSt base, wiping up the grass
Win ms Old HOey facial goats. Whenever
d IN was scored Pete went to third base
anu uFeW a glass of beer from a barrel on
tap As lhe score was IS to "a YOU can
Lndsihe Fete condition at the end of the
game. w men Bill Hoey took the ouffeId
Tor the first inning he walked clear TO tbe
SVIner OF the polo grounds. or about six
DI9ckS from the home plate
,,, mere are you going, Bill, home?''
yeueu Daly. Mop; just down here 10 sion
stray Dalls; DiXey is pitching said PNI
lay sent q HE OF stage soldiers after BTI
anu oIdeIeu them TO escort him to his nor
MAJ posltlon. Jimmy Powers was one of
tn9 hts OF the game He wore a Nadiv
SKIRT, SMOKED brier pipe, and every time
ne sol ms Dase he sprinkled the base line
WIN IN contents of a Waterpot and took
coupe OF reefs in his skirts. Billy Hoev
mace a three-base hit and refused IA now
on the bag till Pete DAILY brougbf a bottit
81 VINE; which Billy spit with Inc oppo-
Sltlon pitcher" 80 OPFO
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
An Advanced youth.

Between trains at the railway station
the other day two fond young fathers
Dragged about their respective 3-year-olds.
says the New York Sun
One father said that his son walked as
well as most children of g. The other
father said that his son walked better
than most children of 6. His sisters
teaching him the two-step now" he added
And the first father said that his boy
was a great talker. Talks lust as well
as you or do. you know; says everything
he wants to-
err why, my little Bobby uses words
that we grown-upsA have to lock up in
the dictionary. 1 never heard such a vo-
cabulary as that youngsters" Then the
first man remarked that his son loved to
be read to- Read tor cried the other
DO you mean to say that your boy can't
read yet? Why, Bobby's read for me more
than year. Reads everything, too
books, magazines. Observation-Disclosures
he can lay his hands on. He Look
here" interrupted the first man, Does
your boy shave himself, or go to the bar
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
BRIGHT BITS.

What are YOU looking for? We've got
everything worth taking"
Il am lool,ing--@ The other burglar
continued his search. for the much
larger booty which the newspapers to-mor-
row will say we overlooked. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
-steddie-"I hear your horse ran away
this morning and smashed your cart
against the mint"
Plunger-Yes. I've been wanting for a
long time to run up against something
with a lot of money in it!-New York
Press.
Mrs. Foggs-"I've got some news for
you, David Carries engagement is brok-
en-"
Mr. Foggs-'Tm not at all surprised
Since that new girl came into the house
there has hardly been day when some
thing hasn't been broken. Boston Tran
script
Young Jones (eargerly helping himself
at boarding house tablet do love pigs
feet so! I believe I could live on pigs
old jameson disappointed in not getting
the last piece on the plate)-Are you sure
you dont?-Up To Date.
THE Goldfish" said the professor,
lays considerably more than million
eggs
1T is mighty lucky for the Goldfish that
she doesn't have to cackle over every
egg" said the student, who came from a
farm.-Indanapolis Journal.
Il am afraid" said the eminent states
mans wife, that you are making mis-
take"
'How?"'
"By constantly declaring that If you are
nominated it will be against your will"
But I've got to do something to keep
them reminded that I'm eligible, haven't
I?"-Washington Star.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
The New Woman.

If the new woman" means the wo-
man who takes the mans place in the
household while he does nothing furious
ly, then she is not new woman. In sa-
vannah and in every other part of this
country there are to be found women who,
from the day they We're led to the altar
(halter might be a better word to OK
press iD have done their work and their
husbands. Anybody can make up a list
Of the new women who keep boarding
houses, do dressmaking, keep stores and
engage in other canings, while their hus-
bands struggle with the free silver ques-
ton Chey are usually on the wrong side
in politics.. cruc.se the national, state
and local governments, and do other SINH
lar hard work. They are great men every
where, except at home. Here the new
woman long ago discovered the biped's
proper place. and put him in it. OF course
the foregoing applies to the new woman
"in white"
There is a new woman Gin black" She
has not had so long an experience as
the other. Her reign began with free
dora" The black new woman washes,
scrubs, cooks, sells shrimps and crabs.
and does all manner of things to keep the
pot boiling. for the worthless husband. or
son, or some other man, who loafs around
the street corners, talking politics or re-
ligion. generally the latter, plays craps,
and, if good luck attends the community.
eventually reaches the chain-gang, where
some of his prototypes in white should
be, if they had their just deserts.
The new woman in white is the same
as the old woman. She is, however, more
conspicuous, because she has a wider field
and is doing more work. Her thrift and
energy. which in the past had only
limited field, now have the world to work
in. The new woman is not new crea-
ton, but is the woman she was created;
doing her fun share and a little more
in the advancement of the human race.
why the President Hesitates.
There is not much probability that SEN
ator Morgan's joint resolution recogniz-
ing the Cuban insurgents as belligerents
viii be passed by congress. A concurrent
resolution has been passed, and congress-
men can so before their constituents and
say they have done all they are called
upon to do for Cuba.
Congressman know why the President
hesitates to act in accordance with that
resolution. and they know further that
his reason is a good one. They are
very careful however, in their public at
terances to say nothing that would indi-
cate that they know what the reason is.
To do so would place them in rather
unpleasant positon-the position of prac-
tically directing. the President to do what
they doubt the wisdom of doing.
The Morning News called attention
weeks ago to the fact that Spain would
rather lose Cuba in a war with the United
States than to lose it in struggle with
the insurgents. To lose it in struggle
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
He Had a sineeure.

1T beats all exclaimed AIRS. Ciovertop.
who had just returned from a visit 20 the
city according 10 the Boston Transcript,
IT beats an how some folks get along in
lnls world There's Harry Stavers. for
instance You know Harry. When he
was 70 home here he never was no eood
al real work He'd 90 dawdIin' about All
day long. srariu' into a book and when
ne wasn't readln' he'd be scribblu' sun
lot ne papers and maeazines- / never
saw the Ike Of him, and ] always said
ne never amount 10 nOthin'.
BUT law IL does seem as though the
lazier and good-for-nOth'er some folks
are the easier they slide through the
world Wheu / was in the city i called ca
Harry always kinder like Harry. in
spite OF ms sllftlessness- Wen, what
90 you thinkz Herry's editor of a paper
uOWN lnere and they do say he gets
pretty good wages, too.
but, Tor my part. 1 can't see how
al all.
Harry has a nice room full O. books
Sana Inlngs and big desk with a big
krlnkiy kiver that shuts UP as cute as
you please when he amt uein' H. ana
Inere ne sets all day as grand as a lore,
Folks are ali the time comm in to
tSu MN WHAT'S gOin' on, and they tell
n MN what side to take on all kind o. ques-
IONS ana what ought to 90 into the
paper ana what oughtn't; and. more than
tnat, they bring in stuff already written
he sl T'asl IN IN one day, sometimes, TO fl;
And they tell him jest how to run his
PaSPSi 50 you see he don't have to bother
MS head a bit about it,
never did see such luck. I told Har-
~ ne ought 10 bless his stars. for
half so easy. AZ
harry Jest smiled and said: Think
SO, Mrs. Clovertopg Jest in his quiet wav.
yUu SNOW Think SOr said 1 Wen
should think / did, " "o'l'
put, do you know. 1 don't b'Iieve he
nan e1il appreciates his good fortune. some
-o-As, you KNOW. never are satisfied ;,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17
May Week a succe.,

Everybody ought to be satisfied with
the May week celebration. 1t was fully
as great a success as its most en-
thusiastic friends thought It would be-
The weather was fine from the opening
to the closing day-a little too warm.
perhaps. in the middle Of the day. but
delightful in the evenings-and the pro-
gramme. which was an attractive one,
was carried out to the letter.
The visitors were no doubt satisfied
They had an opportunity to see fine
military display at a small cost coming
TO the city at less than half the usual
fare, and our merchants had no reason
to complain, because they had an ex-
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17

The Primary should he Impartial.
We think we express the sentiments
OF the democrats Of Chatham county when
we say that they want the primary which
has been called TO be as nearly an i'm
partial one as It IS possible 10 make IT,
We 60 not know the plans or purposes
OF the active leaders Of the two factions
q the democracy OF the county. and
hence, do not speak for them.
The executive committee OF the county
is expected 20 represent the party. not
a faction Of fl, ana when it fails to
represent the party it falls short Of
doing its duty.
Did the committee, at the meeting at
which arrangements We're made for the
primary. represent the party or a fac
ton2 il would seem from the division
Of the committee on each important ques-
toms TO 1l-that it represented fac
tiOn-that faction being the Citizens Club.
The programme # adopted for holding
the primary keeps the control of registra-
ton and the management Of the election
wholly In the hands Of the Citizens Club
faction.
1t may be urged that if the Liberal
Club had control Of the executive com
mttee 1t would have adopted a pro-
gramme that would have given it control
OF the registration and OF the election. But
that argument does not make 1t right
for one faction to take an advantage of
another simply because It has the power
to do so. The taking Of an advantage
under such circumstances viii not salts
fy the great majority of the democratic
voters. 1t viii simply disgust many dem
ocrats with politics and cause them to
have. nothing whatever to do with the
primary.
Is 1t possible to have a fair primary?
We think it Is. And is it not a fair
primary that the democratic voters want.
We are sure It is. Is it not the duty
of the executive committee TO make such
arrangements for the primary as neither
party would have any reason to find fault
with? Every fair-minded democrat viii
answer that question in the affirmative.
But the Citizens Club faction may say
~ 10 At9 IN thaN ~ nav NA4N Nt1-f't +ftf--
purged honestly and the election con-
Quoted fairly. If that is its purpose, why
not remove all grounds for complaint OF
suspicion by putting the other faction on
a footing with it in the matter of purging
the registration and managing the cleo
ton?
But could programme be adopted that
would be absolutely fair to both factions?
We unhesitatingly answer in the afiirma-
tive. Then. why should not the COM
mitee be called together again and have
such a programme adopted? Why have
a bolt or III feeling? In fair test of
strength the Liberal Club faction. II beat
en-, would have to yield gracefully If
it should be beaten under the present
programme. it would attribute its defeat
TO unfairness. and a period of bad feel
ing would follow.
We do not speak for either faction in
this matter. We speak for a far pri-
mary and the good Of the democratic
party of the county Absolute fairness.
should be desired by both factions, be-
cause the faction that wins win feel
better satisfied If it IS admitted that it
controls by the VIII of the majority.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-17

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day IN the year. and is served to
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al Sl10 a month, 500 for six months, and
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letter. Currency sent by mail at risk OF
senders.
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orders for delivery Of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place Of
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Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ca
EASTERN OFFICE. % Park Row, New
York City. c. S. Faulkner Manager