Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-10-30
CURRENT EVENTS.

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CURRENT EVENTS.
Cynthia docking at photograph)-Hi-
cam. just turn your head little. HI
am--You have turned It already, Gym
shia.--New York World.
He-It's reported around that we are
engaged. She-Well. you know It's
mistake. He--Yes; called to see II l
souldn't rectlfy lt.-Puck.
! Arthur--Are you sure she loves your
Jack--Yes. When told her had no
money to marry on she asked me II
couldn't borrow some.-Puck.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, "er
man puts on er long face an says he's
discouraged when he's simply too lazy
ter try again."--Washlngton Star.
Everybody says you married
me only for my money. He-But |
didn't. dear. know you look It. dear,
but dIdn't.-Indlanapolis Journal.
Her Father--Has my daughter given
you any encouragement, sir? Suitor-
Well. she said you were always very
generous Observation-Disclosures Ameri-
can.
Mame-I hope you didn't let that
Mr.. Huggins put his arm about your
Mabel-Whyf Is there anything tho
matter with his arm1-Washington
Star.
Mrs. Elmore-r wonder how many
stops that new organ Of De Smyth's
has got7 Elmore-only three, l should
Judge. One for each meal-Buffalo
Times.
"I see they are applying ball bearings
to a great many things now" "Yes:
they have a ball bearing sign down
where keep my Observation-Disclosures
Times.
Stern Parent-You say he is genius.
Geniuses seldom amount to much.
Daughter-But. pa, he promises that he
will not work at It arter we are mar
ried.--Boston Transcript
Hoax-Poor Bjones has to run all the
errands and cook his own meals. Joax
whats the trouble? Hoax-He was
foolish enough to buy his wife 4 bt
cycle.-Philadelphia Record.
When in the brassy skies above
No hope nor help ! see,
gladly seek the girl love
She's always cool to me.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Spirit (at Lily Dale seance)-Don't
you know me? I'm the spirit Of your
mother-in-law. Investigator-You can't
fool me. Ny mother-ln-law always
brought her trunk with her.-Buffalo
Times.
az suppose you know all about the
financial question:" said the intimate
friend. "I don't say that know all
about It." replied the candidate, but
know enough not to talk about IT,
Washington Star.
Miss Chilledame-Don't you know
that nature rebels against lazinessf A
man can get nothing In this world with
out labor. Wrestling onen-Humph!
Can't hef He can git hungry. l guess.
--Harper's Bazaar.
Peasant-I spoke to our herb doctor
and he advised me that l should
Doctor 0nterrupting)-Oh he gave you
some idlotIc advice, don't doubt
Peasant-He advised me to see you
Humoristische Blaetter.
"Has your wife learned to ride a
wheelT "Nup; but she has been TAX
Ing cooking lessons, and about every
morning she goes into the kitchen and
has q scorchIng competition with the
cook."-Indianapolis Journal
isn't 1t too bad about Charlie
Newed? understand that since his
marriage he and his wife have been
living from hand to mouth" "oh, !
guess they're all right. It's her faith
er's hand, you know."-New York
Press.
Nell-Miss Bjones uses French
phrases in the most peculiar manner.
Belle-Does she? Nell-Yes, indeed!
Why, at breakfast yesterday | asked
her how she liked her eggs, and she
said they were very chick.-Philadel-
phia Record.
"Have you got It on you yetT asked
little Petey Of his sisters bestest best.
"W-w-what| inquired the three
night a week beau. why, move.
Sister said the other night she wished
you'd hurry up and get move on you
Philadelphia North American.
Il say, captain" said young Eng
lishman on board an American clipper
"that flag Of yours has not hOated in
every breeze and over every sea for q
thousand years, has tn" "No. It amt
replied the captain, but 1t has licked
one that has."-Youth's Companion.
Fenderson--I consider 1t good rule
and it's one l have tried to follow, tc
say bright things only once In while
In that way my good things are remem
bered. II / was all the time getting
of bright things they wouldn't be no
ticed. Fogg-A very good rule; but
Fendy, don't you think you observe Il
too closely 7-Boston Transcript