Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-05-14

ST. ce the bicycle era envelops us
quite, b
All the universe seems to seek safe
ty" In flight.
Boston Courier.
"Can you cash a check for $5?"
"Oh, yes" "All right; lend me the
five."-Life. @~ 't-
He-Miss ACCOMPLISHMENTS
cannot live without you. She-How did
you acquire such extravagant habits!
Truth.
MISUNDERSTANDING, but my wife al
ways wants me to remember her birth
day, but to forget her age.-Fliegends
Batter. ,t
"Do you have any idea how many
tons OF coal you burn each winterT
''No; only know how much 1 pay for"
Chicago Record. lkb
She-I thought you told me your sal
airy was $25 a week? He-Oh, no;
said earned $25, but get only S.
amusing Journal
A doctor may be able to speak but
one language, but he Is supposed to
have some knowledge OF all tongues
Yonkers Statesman.
Faithful portraits-I think Nens
new photographs must look exactly
like her." "Whyy "She hasn't shown
them to a living soul" -Chicago Rec
ord.
what is the best sign Of spring
weather." '4That delightful feeling
which makes you want to sit down and
watch other people work. Chicago
Record sm 81
"Mr. Badger, when is woman In
the prime of life?" "Well, Mrs. Badger.
when she's &c." "And man." "Oh.
anywhere from 81 to s0."-Chicago
Record.
Bryton Early-I thought you were
going to save so much money by re-
signing from the club. Minos' Coyne-
Well, just look how much I'm not In
debt!-Life. sot
81 believe you're going to fall on
me-" said the shed to the shot-tower.
"well," said the shot-tower, "it's true
l have a leaning that way."-New
York Press.
Papa, what Is meant by having
horse sense?" at means knowing
enough to make hay while the sun
shinesv Run now and talk to your
grandmother. Truth.
Professionalism weather is appro-
pirate to the beginning Of the baseball
nj
town-It gives appropriate exercise to
the fans "-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Miss Cayenne is very bright young
woman" he remarked admiringly.
"Does she say clever things? Better
than that She sees the point when
somebody else says them. Washing
ton Star.
Harry-I cannot offer you wealth,
| Marie: my brains are all the fortune
possess. Marie-Oh, Harry, IL you are
as badly off as that, am afraid papa
will never give his consent.-Indianap-
oils Sentinel.
"She," said the adoring young man,
'is an angel" "Oh, Of course" said the
elderly friend. II have proof, almost
indispstable proof. Even mother thinks
the will make me good wife. "-lndian-
apolis Journal.
Folks hab sech er tendency ter git
wrapped up in DER own sorrers," said
Uncle Eben, dat dey gifts ter lookln'
at de hot wedder ez err pus'nal griev-
ance, and doan' symp-fize wifi nobody"
Washington Star.
Patsy Finnegan-Pa, phats a states
man? Aid. Finnegan (complacently)-
Wal, OF dunno thot OF kin jest des-
chroibe ut, Patsy, but-Orm wan. Pat
sy (disgusted) low! An is thot all 1t is?
-Harper's Weekly.
"What Is your idea of an intellectual
woman, Mrs. Outskirts" "Well, she Is
one who never gets out the hammock
and hangsit up until after her husband
makes all the garden beds she has
mapped out."-Chicago Record.
Duzby-What are bells on bicycles
for? Dooby-Don't you know? Why.
the riders ring them, you know, when
wheeling through the streets, SOS to
let tho people know they're going to run
them down."-Roxbury Gazette. =
He-what is the sense of putting all
that trimming on the back of your hatl
Do you suppose any man can see the
back Of your hat when he meets your
She-No; but every woman will when
she passes me.-Indianapolis,Jou
Teacher-James, what makes. you
late? James-I was pursuing knowl-
edge. Teacher Pursuing knowledge?
What do you mean? James-Why, my
dog ran or with my spelling book. and
ran after him.-Harpcr's Round Ia
BILE.
Hobson-Wilkes, you remember that
fifty l loaned you two years ago
Wnkes-You are not going to press q
friend for payment, are you? HObson--
Certainly not. Take your time. l only
wish to borrow it for n wbile.-Harlem
Life.
Theater manager-Yours Is the best
minstrel show that We have had here
for ten years. Where did you get on to
all those new jokes? Interlocutor-
One OF the end men got hold of 4 file
OF one of last years, English papers
about year ago.--Somerville Journal.
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