Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1896-09-04

the public. he SHOOK hanuS With l3fOCncf
Gardner and Sir Isaac Walpole, helped him.
self to glass of water and then removed
his cuffs and pushed up his sleeves
editions of dc United States" quietly
began the speaker as he stepped to the
front, why dis turmoil? Why dis excite
ment9 Why dis gatherin of men on de
street co'ners to talk wild bated bref an
call each other bigots an liars9 De answer
an at hand-de wheel of time has rolled
around another presidenshual campaign,
an de sap Of polyticks am beginnin to rise
in mems breasts. Oar was u time, an not
so VERY long ago, when yo' had muffin to
say an muffin to do wild do issues of Il CAM
paign, but it may be In yo'r hands dis fall
to decide de fate of dis great nashun.
Cheers Am yo' ready for de comm
struggle? Yes, yes!] 1t nm gwine to be
Rome an made de Tiber run red wild de
blood of 10000 menl ["Rah for dc IT,
berp'l Dat struggle will call for patriot
ism and sacrifices, IN it will end up only
when varchew, truth an innocence stand
triumphant on do battlements Of integrity.
"Patriots of a glorious republic" con-
tinued e. Pluribus after moistening his
throat, "de gineral situation which we
must confront is one to appall tho stoutest
heart. AS stand heah befo' yo' an gaze
ober de barbed wire fence dat separates dc
present from tho fucher my blood runs
cold. [Shivers all over the hall. 1t ON q
picture to make me groan In despair.
(Groans and signs. On dis side Of de
fence am innocence, clothed in her White
robe an peacefully plantin her cowcumber
patch On de odder am vice, draped In
the deepest black an grindin his sword to
o razor edge. [Cheers for virtue and vice.
Will innocence drap dem cowcu,nber seeds
befo' it am too late an arm herself wild
razor, or will she be Token unprepared an
swept away as chaf befo' de terrible cy-
clone dat leaves only death On destruck-
shun behind9 Cheers for chaff, innocence
and cyclones. Once let dat vice get
swipe at dat innocence wild his long, keen
sword, an what will be dc RESULT De
bulwarks of American liberty will come
tumblin down wild q crash, which will
echo from nashun to nRshun till 1t has
been heard around de hull world. (Cheers
for crashes and bulwarks] Anarchy will
*eign, midnight darkness will settle down
;.pon dis fair land, an sich q cry Of horror
will go up dat de stars will pale an fade
away an dc moon no longer show her face
II speak to Brutus Cesar an Caasius,"
said the orator, after he had got some more
breath to work on. II appeal to patriot
ism, honesty an love of kentry. [several
cheers for Brutus and one whoop for
C@sar( It depends on you to save dis
kentry from wreck, ruin an despair. VIII
you do itp [Cries of"You betr'] 1t re-
joices my heart to h'ar yo' say so. Now
feel dat innocence will be saved IN vice
laid low. De campaign has not opened UT,
but 70 kin h'ar de tread of de mighty
armies as dey gather fur battle Grid up
yo'r loins. More or less g1rding.] Git
ready. Fotch out dem swords dat was red
dened at Lexington, hunt up dat musket
dat defended Bunker Hill, put on dat
cooked hat which carried dismay to our
enemies at Yorktown. [Cheers for cooked
hats. Yo' kin save America If yo' will,
an in savin her yo'r names shall thunder
down de lanes an byroads of time till time
shall git tired of It's job an go out OF biz
ness. Cheers for time.
"Let me warn yo'," said the orator after
q rest, ito be watchful an vigilant.
From de time de sun rises on his campaign
till it goes down on howlin victory, don't
60 to bed single night. If 20 sleep de
inemy may be upon yo'.
"Believe muffin bad about yo'r own can
dydate-believe de wust about all others.
"Post yo'selves on de Issues at stake, 80
dat yo' kin tell an inquirin man whether
dis am q struggle to presarve de life OF q
glorious republic or only an attempt to
bring de price Of taters down to dollar
bar'l.
"Our candidate will be q man who has
done muffin all his life but tell do truth,
help de pore, mako happiness fur dc wild
der an find stiddy work fur de orphans
All other candidates kin be sot down as
boss thieves an highway robbers
"Be wakeful Be watchful. Be ready
at all times De campaign will open wild
bombshells an close wild grapeshot. Each
an every patriot must be right dar on de
front line Sacrificed Fight! Dash ford
an wrest victory from a foe seekin de down.
fall an destruckshun of all 70 hold dear,
incloodin possums an watermillyons, an
yo'r cognomens shall blaze on do tablets Of
memory when Hannibal an Nero hev bin
forgotten fur q thousand vars" (Cheers
for Hannibal, Nero, watermillyons and the
speaker, all mixed up in confusion, during
which e. Pluribus Clay made his bow and
retired. ID. QUAD