Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-08-20

is CuttlHS. you III dlloW,
To see the skill spent in those lines
All turned to posters now.
Washington Star
She-Am l the first girl you ever kiss
ed? He (surprised)-Why, no! l have
three sisters.-Somervill Journal.
She-What's your business? He
Looking for a wife. you've got @
steady job, haven't you?-Life.
Binks-Your nephew is quite prom
:sing young man, isn't he? Jinks-Well,
be has never done anything else as yet.
-Somerville Journal.
''1'hat was a bad runaway you had
the other night, Mrs. Dash" Eyes, but
it was very stylish; we had four
horses. ''-Chicago Record.
Time works a strange distraction
In the object Of her zeal;
She's forgot to want the ballot
Since she learned to ride the wheel.
Washington Star.
Johnny-Pa, what is the difference
between a tonsorial artist and bar
Der? Mr. Wiggles-The tonsorial art
list uses longer words.-Somerville Jour-
nal.
"He lives in brick house now, does
hep sneered the rural cynic. II used
to wipe the clay off my boots that the
bricks in that house are made off,
Truth.
Her Dearest Friend: Cholly-How
old do you suppose Miss Furnish is?
Gertrude You might six mamma. Per-
haps she'll remember. Cleveland Lead
en-
The man who thinks that women have
No lively gift of wit,
Has never asked a girl to wed,
And heard her answer init"
Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs GaZzam-Why is the ringing Of
a bell made obligatory upon bicycle
riders? Mr.. GaZZam-It gives their
victims time to make an ejaculatOry
prayer.-Truth.
Waiter (at club restaurant)-Rea
with your order, sab? City Sportsman
back from a weeks fishing)-Give me
some fish; I'm tired to death Of other
things.-New York Weekly.
Laura-Is it fact that your engage
ment with Willie is broken off? Flora
Why, no; not broken off, exactly. 1t
sort of tapered off, one might say.-In-
dianapolis Journal.
.Johnny-Papa. what is meant by III
person of sanguine temperament"
Papa-It means-a-it means a person
who expects a good many things that
do not happen.-Puck.
Dah's lots O folks puts in dab time
Il hahdly kin endure 'em)
A-talkin' bout dab troubles Std
O. hustlin' roun' ter cure 'em.
Washington Star.
Ballinger-It will be a swe1tering
summer at the shore. How will you
manage to keep cool? Manhattan
shall limit my engagements to Boston
Girls exclusively.-Town Topics.
Osgood-I guess Matthews intends to
run for office this year.-Wawmam-
Whar makes you think SO? Osgood--
He's removed the fence from around
lis beautiful awn.-Cleveland Leader.
Hungry Higgins What do you think
Of this here eight-hour movement, any
way? Weary Watkins-Ef it means
not movin' moren once every eight
hours guess it's all right.-1ndianapo
lis Journal
Mrs. Buzbey-Wfat's all this talk the
papers are full of about 16 to /? Mrs.
Buzbuz-Oh. it's the score of some great
baseball game, I suppose. You know
how crazy men are on that subject
Roxbury Gazette.
How strangely do life's prizes go,
Awarded by the crowd;
Some triumph by the things they know.
And some by talking loud.
Washington Evening Star.
Mrs. Motherby--How are you getting
on with your singing lessons, Kate?.
Miss Screecher-Well, ] think [ must be
improving. 1 notice, anyway, that
when I practice now the neighbors
don't come and ring the doorbell to pro-
test--Somerville Journal
She Con the way over)-Just to think
that this big ship is absolutely under
the control of the man at the wheel.
He-Oh, that's nothing. The man on
the wheel at home claims to have pow
er enough to control the whole nation.
Philadelphia North American.
Flowery Fields-Is dere any demand,
fer farm laborers between here an
Sauedunk? Farmer Jones-Naw; i
reckon tn farmers hev hired all tn help
they need by this time Flowery Fields
shaking his partner)- Wake up.
Weary! We've struck de right road at
last.-Judge