New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-02-16

There Is baby In Jenkintown. Penn. that
weighed little less than two pounds at its birth.
which occurred about three weeks ago /. now
weighs more than four pounds. and is thriving.
Popular Women.-Mss Longpurse-Why, OF
course Helen q Troy was beautiful DO you sup.
her II she hadn't been beautiful?
know MaySe She Weeks SoA
The Louisville Courer-Journsw says that dog
fight recently given in Frankfort In honor Of
a young lady visiting the town.
One View Of It-"say, what is this socal-se,tls-
ment idea"
''Irs like ths-youre good fellow. you know"
We'll. you go and live n tough neghborhoG9d:
are!'-(Chicaso Record
Let me alone. I'm tough. that's what ami"
growled the beefsteak.
sorry, but I'll have to run you in just the same"
said the fork-and he did.
The Gaylord Herald" wound up compliment to
young schooma'am with good word about the
the scho olma'am met the editor and chased him
down the street with a blue umbrella. and every
jump in the road she screamed that she had never
taught a shc-bear in all her te.-(Kansas Breeze.
'Gourmand has had another attack, I hear"
Yes; the trouble with Gourmand seems TO be that
everything he eats goes straight to his stomach
Little Ella-Papa, I know what am going to give
Ella-A beautiful beer glass
BUT ny Df aSs hay'
ender.
According to THE Chicago Evening Journal"
this is preemlnently the day OF the alka and sage
brush statesman. His constituents consist princi-
pay of jack-rabbits and coyotes Two OF him may
and do bear imperial mandate from State that
has a voting population considerably smaller than
that Of a single Chicago ward" one does not ex-
pect such harsh criticism Of the bounding West
from the metropolis OF the bounding West Its tone
is decidedly that of the "effete East"
Grandpa-Don't get. scared, Willie; the tiger is
about 10 be fed-that's what makes him jump and
roar
Willie teaslly)-oh. 1 amt afraid OF him. grand:
pa Papa's the same way when his meals amt
ready.-(fit-Bts.
The Rev Edwin S Wallace United States Consul
at Jerusalem. has interesting article In The
Congregational.st about OF the peculiar people
who gravtate to Jerusalem. First are those who
believe in the immediate coming Of the Messiah. !
want 10 be there said good old lady, and De the
first TO offer him cup of tea" The arrival OF pre-
tended Messahs is continuous Then there are the
"Overcomers" who make prose.ytes. but wa!t
overcoming the weaknesses OF the flesh. Next are
the various individuals who believe themselves
sent" build the new Jerusalem. They get dis
couraged at the Lords delay and depart but others
follow In their train.
wlnge-Why call It a toothbrush? You should
say "teethbrush. unless you happen 10 nave ou'
Wangle-Nonsense: one does not say shoes.
Wingle-No: because he brushes but one shoe at .
time. ~ .,,,o ,u,s,o,
Transcript
..Ths Louisville Courier Journal tells OF ex-
tremely religious man who lives on Lost Creek. In
Greenup County He Is close student OF his Blbie
and doesn't propose TO live on Lost Creek In the
next world II he can help It, a few nights ago ne
was searching the scriptures and ran across the adj
monition OF Solomon: Spare the rod and spoil the
child" After studying the matter over he con-
cluded that the rod had not been applied often
enough TO his own family of seven hopefuls. and he
vapked the entire seven of bed and administered
a sound whipping to every one Of them
Answered.-Mrs. Casey-Do you be knowing. Mrs
Dooley, what became O. moy washlng maj 90 b DC
hangin' on III LONE before VI htt the mousse TINS
'' Mrs s Dooley-oi do not Mrs Casey but OF do be
seem Murphys goat pass.n' here few moments
ago wild piece O. rag slckin out tn corner OF mis-
mout.-(San Francisco Wave.
In THE Publishers Weekly" is told story OF a
lady author" who In returning galley proofs OF
her book remarked to the publisher that 1t was all
right but she didn't like "the pages quite so long,
nor did she want the book printed on one side OF
the page only" "Newspaperdom" caps this with
story Of bookseller who. on receipt OF copy OF
an uncut book. wrote the following to the publishers
"I have received the books you sent. one OF them
Is not bound properly. Two Of the edges (side and
bottom) are left rough and uncut. while the other
Edge Of the leaves (top) Is cut and gEded. Shall
take It at half price or return III"
The Real Thing.-"They amt no such thing as
real Christian" said the man with the patched
jeans. ~
Don't you think they amt" said the man with
the soft hat turned up behind Il knowed one my
self"
"Huhl Whatever did he do? Never miss goin' to
meetin'? -
"Oh amt layln' so much on that as on when i u
come time to work the roads he vent out ana 1ld
his own farm. "-Undianapolis Journal