Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1896-07-21
The PATENT CAMEL.
An English Correspondent Who Does Not
Take Much Stock In the Beast.

The camel, be it at once said, is
an overrated beast. There is great
deal of him, but he is not for his
size nearly so strong as the useful,
unpretentious donkey. Then, too,
his anatomy is SO strangely con-
ceived. His legs are attached to his
great unwicldy carcass with seem
ingly so little consideration for the
uses to which, merely viewed as
legs, he might be expected to put
them. And his neck and tail are so
obviously disproportionate to the
rest of him, and both so useless,
that one cannot avoid the thought
that the camel is somehow inoom-
plete, or, owing to some mistake,
was never finished off at all.
Even the qualities he possesses
tend to strengthen one in this be-
wildering suspicion. For instance,
he can kick himself violently in the
let US say the front of the back
with his foreleg he does it con-
stantly. Time and again have / de-
voted long hours-fruitlessly, / must
admit-to an attempt to win the con-
fidence of my favorite camel-my
favorite because he is less cruel to
me than the others. have wooed
him with the soft notes of my kour-
bash; I have tempted him with the
thorniest of mimosa branches; L
have pulled tobacco smoke in his
supercilious nostrils-and then, just
as have fancied 1 saw the light Of
sympathy dawning in his long lash
ed eye he has risen all of one move
ment to his feet, grinned at mo in q
frightful manner, disclosing q forest
of green and broken teeth and gaz-
ing at mo full with moro vindictive
contempt than I have ever marked
in any human eye; has kicked him
self violently in the stomach and
lain down again, as if he would say,
Now, go away and don't bother,
like o good boy"
Then he can gnaw his own tail
his absurd useless little rag of tail,
that isn't even worth biting. But
is that an object worth living for?
Or, again, he has, to be sure, seven
stomachs, of which, vain beast. he
is SO Unfortunately proud-as though
he had anything to do with it-that
he IS constantly fetching up one of
them to show you and blows it out
from his great, ugly throat in a
horrid, glittering, transparent bulb
for you to admire. A moro nauseat-
ing practice could hardly be con-
ceived, but the low brute will do it.
One accomplishment, indeed, can
give him credit for. He can flick a
Hy from the top of his head with his
hind toe. Now, this in the age we
live in might, were he luokier beast
and the rest of his bulk conducive,
have served him in good stead. But,
MS things are, I fear he will make
nothing of it. His shape is fatally
against him, and he will never be-
como fashionable as step dancer.
But, with all his faults, defects and
disabilities, the camel has, so far as
this country is concerned, not yet
been superseded by any moro prao-
teal invention, and, despite the fact
that his temper is bad, his appetite
vast and sordid, his capacity for
prolonged existence without water
"a giddy fiotion-his carrying Ca
pabilities moan and his locomotive
powers exasperatingly meager, yet
he Is all we have and on him we
must largely depend throughout this
Dongola expedition. DR.. Conan
Doyle, who is one of our party, be-
lieves, after a week or so of acquaint-
ance with him, that he has discov-
cred in his riding camel great deli
cacy of sentiment ard much dignity
of demeanor. But then DR.. Conan
Doyle is man of so wide q charity
that he actually believes in and
oven admires-well, no, will not
say who it is. Let every one guess
for himself. But if that person, why
not the camel? Why not, indeed?
Perhaps may have some day some
thing pleasant to say about my CAM
els. Time must decide. Is it q long
lived beast, I wonder?-Sudan Cor.
London News.