Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1896-02-07
nUMOR OF THE DAY.

It does not cost more than the price
of two or three ice creams to be hero
to n girl. -Atchison Globe.
Tue greatest trouble about BLESSINGS
in disguise is their dilGtoriness about
discovering themselves Puck.
Lois OF room tor cheerfuldeSs.
Though it rains flood;
Let's be thankful that it's not
Slush instead of mud.
Silious-''Leave me alone with nv
thoughts. Cynicus-"What perfec-
ton of solitude l"-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
There Is difference between a cold
aud the grip; but you will not realize
1T until you receive the doctors bill.
Truth.
Poet-"Hope springs eternal in the
human breast" Cynic-"Yes That
the pool of disappointment may never
so dry. - Truth.
"Happy Thought" Mem. from
notebook of careless when
nothing else to do, wind up my watch.
1t saves time. Punch.
There are bacilli in q kiss.
I've heard it once or twice;
really didn't knOw-iid you?-
That germs could be so nice.
Washington Star
Nisltor-''But this portrait OF Mr..
bulger IS n good deal more than life
size" Artist-'I know it. That :,
the size he thinks he is."-Boston
Bulletin.
Bowlder (excitedly)-"I tell you,
sir, this town isn't big enough to hold
us both" Waugh (calmly)-"AlI
right When are you going away?"
Somerville Journal.
''I am not going to take my meals
at the Hash restaurant any longer"
"Why not?" 81 heard the proprie-
tor tell delinquent customer to pony
up !'-Detroit Free Prees. saAsrn
Z Proprietor-'1 can't engage YOU;
your feet are too Target" Clerk
"But they will be hidden by the
counter, SIR" Proprietor-'sN
counterfeits allowed in this establish
ment !'-Waterbery. yssss, sssSesSsSsA-
Women" said he oracularly to
her, ''are rarely good listeners" And
the prospective mother-in-law in the
hallway only applied her ear q little
closer to the key-hole AMI smiled
grimly. indianapolis Journal. sSH,
"Why, Willie! what have you done
to Jimmy Woods that he has gone
home crying?" WilIie-"W We'll, he
told lot of boys that his ma said our
family was one of the oldest in the
place an 1 licked HIM. "-Pittsburg
Bulletin. sgs6s+lssSssgSss
hnI- q n
wear this veil; it's the only one /
have. It's so thick one can hardly
see my face through it," Edith
"Oh, wear it, by all means. Every
body says you never had on anything
half so becoming. Boston Tran
script. ,s.,s-sssssss,- ,slfg,-s.
81 want to buy q makeup box"
said the young married man. GA
makeup box?" the confectioner
echoed. "We don't keep theatrical
supplies. 81 mean box OF candy to
take home to my wife. e 1 promised to
be home three hours ago. Indian
"pohs Journal 5$s1est
Judge-"What is the use of ap-
pointing a receiver for this corpora
ton? There Is nothing left to re-
ceive." yyer-"'Your Honor, /
will show by numerous cases that it is
not customary to appoint receiver
while there is anything left to re-
ceive. brooklyn Life. ~ x
Papa" (She knelt beside the de-
jected figure and fondly kissed the |
dropping head.) "Papa. can 1 not
keep the wolf from the door with nv
singing?" He was without hope, al |
though he smiled. "My child" he |
sighed, ''your singing would keep al |
most anything from the door, but the |
wolf Is pretty nervy. "--Detroit News |
Tribune. "
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