Crawford avalanche., 1896-08-20

Z
She-Am the first girl you ever kiss
Cd? He (surprised)-Why, no! havs
three slsters.-Somerville Journal
She-what's your business? He
Looking for a wife. You've got
steady Job, haven't you?"-Life..
Binks-Your nephew is quite a prom
!sing young man, isn't hes Jinks-WelI
he has never done anything else rs yet.
--Somerville Journal. ~
''That was a bad runaway you had
the other night, Mrs. Dash" Yes, but
it was very stylish; we had four
ho.ses."-Chicago Record. af ;
Mrs. Brown-AIrs. Smith is a woman
OF remarkable strength Of mind. Mrs.
Jones-Is she? Yes. She never buys
anything she doesn't want."--Life.
Time works strange distraction
In the object Of her zeal; IA
She's forgot to want the ballot
Since she learned to ride the wheel
Washington Star.
Johnny-Pa, what Is the differences
between tonsorial artist and a bar
ber? Mr.. Wiggles-The tonsorial art
list uses longer words.-Somerville Jour
nal.
''He lives in brick house now,. does
hep sneercd the rural cynic,, II used
to wipe the clay of my boots that the
bricks in that house are made off,
Truth. f..fg-s-es.
Her Dearest Friend: Cholly-How
old do you suppose Miss Furbish is?
Gertrude-You might ask mamma. Per-
haps she'll emember.-Cleveland Lead
er. 20
The man who thinks that women have
No lively gift of wit,
Has never asked a girl to wed,
And heard her answer nit"
indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Gazzam-Why is the ringing OF
II bell made obligatory upon bicycle
riders? Mr.. Gazzam-It gives their
victims time to make an ejaculatory
prayer.-Truth.
Waiter (at club restaurant)-Ready
with your order, sab? City Sportsman
back from weeks fishing)-Give mo
some fish; I'm tired to death Of other
things.-New York Weekly.
Laura-Is 1t fact that your engage
ment with Willie Is broken off? Flora
Why, no; not broken off. exactly. 1t
sort Of tapered off. one might say.--In-
dlanapolis Journal.
Johnny-Papa, what is meant by -
person Of sanguine temperamentw
Papa-It means-a-it means a person
who expects a good many things th;rt
do not happen.-Puck.
Dah's lots O. folks puts in dab time
Il hahdly kin endure 'em)
A-talkin' bout dah troubles Std
o. hustlin' roun' ter cure 'em.
Washington Star.
Ballinger-It will be swelterina
summer at the shore. How will you
manage to keep cool? Manhattan-I
shall limit my engagements to Boston
girls exclusively.-Town Topics.
Osgood-I guess Matthews intends to
run for Office this year.-Wawmam-
What makes you think so? Osgood-
He's removed the fence from around
bis beautiful lawn.-Cleveland Leader.
Hungry Higgins-What do you think
Of this here eight-hour movement, any
way? Weary Watkins-Ef 1t means
not movin' moren once every eight
hours guess it's all right.-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
Mrs. Buzbey-Wkat's all this tn TX the
papers are full of about 16 to 1? Mrs.
it's the score of some great
game, l suppose. You know
how crazy men are on that subject
Rsxbury Gazette.
How strangely do life's prizes 60,
Awarded by the crowd:
Some triumph by the things they know,
And some by talking loud.
Evening Star.
MD. Motherby-How are you getting
on with your singing lessons, Kate?
Miss Screecher-Well, Il Think must be
1 notice. nuywa y, . that
when l practice now the heigShprs
don't come and ring the dporbeii tospfo-
test.-Somerville Journal. ~ 9i.dss
She ION the way over)3Just to think
that this big ship is absolutely under
the control of the man at the swheel.
that's nothing. The cman, on
The wheel at home claims to- have pow
er enough to control the whole. uAtion-
North AmericaAa srT
When for a lengthy bikingb btuijsosr
Vacationists PREPARE, rrYz7 49,.
The first inquiry ought to- bA X
As to the railroad farb,s =
Washington Star. n 80 g. Ahi
Flowery Fields-Is dere any demand
fer farm laborers between here an
Suuedunk? Farmer Jones--Naw; I
reckon tn farmers hev hired all IT, help
hey need by this time. Flowery Fields
his Ipartner)- Wake up.
Weary! We've struck de right road At
Mother-"Mary, that young Spinner
has been paying a great deal of atten-
ton to you Of late. DO you think he
means business?" Mary, with a far
away look)-'I am afraid he does.
mother. He Is the agent for a bicycle
firm, and he has done nothing but try
to sell me cycle ever since he has been
coming here."-Puck. ttHt
=-z=------------
rramp'a Exnreaaiou of n.~xs.-s-