davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
A Darky's Illustration.

A southern negro, according to the New
York Press, illustrates his idea of the
free silver party and its nominees by
this comparison: You knows, marster.
dat befo de war no niger wild eny SET
respec' or 'rist'cratic notions ever eat
er water million out'n his own marster's
patch eff he could steal one fun de
nighes nabor's. En- ev'ry time two
grown niggers went out in de night fur
water millions dey allus TUX along ole
marster's son, so eff dey got cotched de
wife boy got en- de scrape, too, en- ole
marster had to help 'em all out. But de
boy wus allus en- de way. He talk too
much en- too loud. En- he had to be call
ed hat de time. De dogs didn't know de
wites hken dey did de niggers. en- useter
bark at EN-. De boy wuz too little to cay
a whole water million, fur de water
million am a mighty announcement fruit
ter handle, en- it's announcement fruit to
eat, too. It's too big fur one small boy
en- faint nuff fur two big niggers an a
boy. En- OATS whut Use thinkin, bout
dis yer free silver PATTY. It's too big
fur one little white boy, like Misser Bry-
an, to manage, en- faint big ernuff fur
two old darkies, like Misser Sewan en-
Misser Watson an de boy too.''
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
bright BITS.

-Forethought.-Irate Guest: You scoun-
drel why didn't you bring me that hot
water at six?
sleepin' meself-so ! stood it outside over
night.-Funny Cuts.
A Scotch servant having shortly after
her marriage met her former mistress.
and being asked by her how she was get
ting on, replied:
I'm getting on fine, mem: but, och, 1
Gamma bide the manP-Tit-Bits.
"A farmer lost his wife. and out of love
for her called the estate "Glenmary." A
neighbor having met with the same af-
Fiction, and equally DESTROYS of keeping
before him the image of his dear departed,
followed his example, and his farm is
known by the name of ''Glenbetsy. Tit
Bits.
In the Art Gal1ery.-Pleasant Woman
noticing a man copying one of the old
masters): Why do they paint this picture
twice?
Her Husband: Why, that is obvious
When the new picture is done they hang
that on the wall and throw the old one
away.-Fliegende Blatter.
Some years ago a well-known foreign
prince, who owns large estate in the
Midlands, invited his tenants to a hunt
breakfast at which claret was the prin-
cipal beverage. After the breakfast. and
just before the hounds were thrown off
champagne was handed around in large
cups, when one old-fashioned farmer. ar
ter taking a long pull at one of the cups
and smacking his lips exclaimed: wen.
your royal highness, / didn't think mucn
of that port wine we had at lunch, but [
must say this cider is the best 1 ever tast-
ed."-AnsWers.
How 1t Happened.-"Too bad about
Shelby. wasn't it?''
Whats the matter with him?"
He had terrible shock day before yes
terday, and may not recover. Hadn't you
heard about it,"
No. How did it happen?"
Wei, he had an engagement to meet
his wife at certain place down town al
1920 o'clock
Yes"
And he hurried up with his work. and
started out for the rendezvous"
time" =
Il see. Wen?"
His wife had been there twelve Sec
onds!-Cleveland Leader
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
All That Restrained Him.

do you know that you're hindering
fifty people that want TO get downtown
to their business?" yelled the motor1nan
of a Wentworth avenue car the other
morning TO the driver of a coal wagon just
ahead says the Chicago Tribune.
That's all right" cheerfully responded
the driver. There's a lot of people wait
in for this coal"
You'll get there just as quick if you
turn out"
II can't turn out"
That's a lei'
You wouldn't tell me that if I was
where l could reach you!"
You can reach me any time you want
to, and you know it. you dirty-faced AL.
geriue! You're a mOnOpolist and a hog,
and l can smash the mouth off you the
best day you ever saw"
If it wasn't for leaving my horses I'd
-
NO you wouldn't you smutty-faced
Whelp!" shouted the motorman. you re
a mean, low, gum-dasted sneaki You
haven't got the decency of a sewer rati
You're a gol-dinged, insignificant pusil-
luminous ragged, dirty, cheap skate of a
tenth assistant barnyard Corporal"
Say" interposed a passenger on the
car that's horrible language you're
using. For the sake of ordinary proprie-
ty let up, will your
Ait this moment the driver of the coal
wagon turned leisurely down a side street,
and the angry motorman said, as the car
shot ahead again:
I'D have talked a burned sight worse
than that to him if it hadn't been that he S
my brother!'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
Had a Right to Speak.

James, have always been a faithful
wife to you. haven't ~" writes the Chi
cago Tribune.
"Of course, you have Miranda What
are you"
And in all the thirty-three years we
have lived together I've always done my
duty, haven't p"
Certainly. certainly. Who's denying
that you
You haven't ever found me making
trouble or kicking up fuss over little
things, have your"
OF course, not. I'd like to know what
you re"
i've had my share Of sorrow and stood
1t without murmuring or complaining?''
Now see here, Miranda, what's all
this"
IF things don't go to suit me I generally
make the best Of it and let it go q that
don't I?'
ITO be sure Is there anything that"
And you don't think I'd make a dis
turbance about anything unless I had
good cause, do you?'
Surely not What under the shining
canopy are you driving at, anyhow
james, l wouldn't say a word about
1t If l could stand it any longer, but those
slim little pipestem legs of yours look
so distressing in your bicycle STOCKINGS
and knickerbockers that just can't keen
still another minutei If you don't either
wear long pants or pad your calves here
after, as sure as I'm a living woman III
take the children and go to Aunt Rach-
els and never come backr'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
LIVER GLOeGING.
WHEN YOUR STOMACH CLOGS YOrR
LIVER SEE TO YOUR DIGESTION.

Not one person in a thousand knows tbs.
the cause Of biliousness is the clogging %
the liver by the poisons OF indigestion
Nor that the only proper cure for It is a
tonic to aid the stomach.
But modern medicine declares the tru+5
Of il. And the Shakers have proved il bv
the wonderful success Of their Shaker d.
gestive Cordial.
One Of the most important uses OF thu
liver is to arrest and destroy all poiso-s
which try to find their way into the bloo4
When it's clogged, it can't do this.
Undigested food ferments and putre6as
in the stomach, and the poisons OF putra-
faction clog and paralyze the liver, after
which they find their way into the blood
Here is the true explanation of all rba
distressing disorders and complicatiors
caused by Indigestion.
Shaker Digestive Cordial Is the only toni.
cordial which aids the stomach in a rs-
ural way to digest its food. By this means
II cures Indigestion, restores the liver. and
frees the body from poison and disease
Headache, dizziness, neuralgia, mental
depression, weakness, bad taste. fever
fatulence, constipation, loss Of appetite
anaemia, rhuematism, and many other
disorders are relieved and cured by Shaker
Digestive Cordial.
At druggists. Ten cents for a trial bot
tie.
Write for book to The Shakers, 30 Rea5A
street, New York.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
IkDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-savannah Yacht Club; Dem
pcratic Rally.
Special Notices-Notice Of Dissolution,
s. Arthur Cox & Co.; Hurrah for the
Barnes White Flyer and the 19-Pound
Heating Bicycles r. D. & VIM. baltimore;
Special sale Of Fine Extracts, Solomons
& Co; Websters Unabridged Dictionary,
at ]. Gardners: Startling. b. II. Levy
& Bro; Ship Notices. Paterson, Down
sng & Co.
Steamship schedule--Merchants and
Miners Transportation Company.
Bucks Stoves and Ranges-Lindsay &
Morgan.
You've Got Time-Falk Clothing Com
pany.
It's Not the Money We Want to Get
Appel & Schaul.
$l.OO is Worth $1.SO-At Levy's.
Educational-North Georgia Agricultu-
raj College. at Dahlonega, Ca
Mineral Water-Apenta.
Medical-The Worlds Dispensary Prep
arations; Cuticura Remedies; Shakers
Digestive Cordial
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
sixteen 10 one in Kansas.

One Of the speakers. says a Kansas let
ter in the Philadelphia Times. was amused
az the close OF the meeting al being APP
preached by a very Misunderstanding
farmer with the remark:
Il listened carefully 10 everything you
said and u was good speech; but, al
the same. I'd like 10 have the government
try this IS 70 I and see how il works. II
wouldn't do no harm just 70 try it. you
know. and il might do some good"
But, my friend, protested the
speaker, that Is precisely what the gov
eminent has been trying all these years,
and IL IS the IS 10 ratio that has got US
into our present FIX"
The farmer stared at the orator incred-
ulOusly for a minute and then said VITA
disguised air. as he walked away:
PsnaW. ! half 'spicioned you was fool
IN all the time, and now / know it,
That's the trouble with you politicians;
you think US common folks amt got no
sense The governments been glVin' MS
10 TO ], has it2 Then what's all this fuss
about? No, sir, you can't fool me-"
The many's hazy notion Of the meaning
OF the familiar campaign cry was no more
ridiculous than that Of two Well-tO-GO
tradesmen in this city, who were arguing
last night in the lobby Of the hotel where
l am writing these lines. Both were ar
dent silver men, but they could not seem
TO gree on certain conclusions which each
was eager 10 establish 70 the satisfaction
OF the other. Finally, after they had ar
OF them remarked; We'll, although We
seem to agree pretty fairly on general
principles. I'm afraid we don't understand
the original proposition in just the same
way Now, then, 10 get started right,
what do you understand by 'l6 to ~ "
why said the other, lit means that
the government shall issue sixteen silver
dollars 10 every one of gold that it puts
out"
i was afraid you had it wrong" re-
marked the first speaker, complacently.
Now, III tell yOu-'SiXteen to one means
the bimetallic standard-that is, instead
OF having our coins all gold or all silver,
the government shall make them here
after Of sixteen parts of silver and one
part gold. That makes a market for
both metals-don't you see2"
II such stories as these had appeared
in Puck, nobody would have guessed that
they had a foundation in fact. The con-
Versations were actual occurrences, how
ever. and can be attested by witnesses;
and they are only typical
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
The Doctor Mns In.

The Washington Star says that lady
recently called at the office of prominent
Washington physician, who is small and
boyish in appearance. Boy" she said.
addressing him, lis the doctor in? But I
can see he is not" He is in" began
the physician. but the visitor interrupted
him. 'Oh, yes, he's in, is he?Then he's en-
gagged. I'll wait. Does he allow you to
sit at his desk that way?" Madam
''Oh, of course, you would say he does.
but I'll warrant you'll catch it if he
sees you there. You look sort of pale. 1
should think the doctor would give YOU
something to make you stronger. Your
ma ought TO send you into the country.
That would make you grow. How soon
do you think the doctor will be olsen
gaged?" Madam 1 tried to tell you be-
fore-I do not think you can see the doc
tor to-day" "WeH, I'll come next time
I'm in town. But you ought to quit stay
ing in this office and go into the coun-
try. Not that il is any of my business,
but I do hate to see boys look so pale and
puny-" She disappeared, and the doctor
is wondering what she will say when she
calls next time she comes into the city.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Do the United States wish to purchase
Cuba? The question is being discussed
in London and elsewhere in Europe prob
ably including Spain. A Havana CORE
spondent Of the London Times writes to
his paper that the sentiment of the bust
ness people Of Cuba is in favor of an
nexation; they know that there is no
hope for recovery from their pres
ent depression under Spanish rule, even
If the instruction should be put down
and regard annexation as their real hone
Not great deal has been said in this
country with regard to the possible pur-
chase of Cuba. It may be doubted that
Cuba would be a desirable addition to
our territory. Furthermore, the people of
the island are not fighting for separation
from Spain and annexation to another
foreign government; they desire complete
autonomy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

The play for the populist nomination for
esting. To judge from present appear
ances. the populists and Editor Blackburn
are cycling each other critically, while the
editors paper prints lots of newspaper ex-
tracts telling how grateful to him the pop
ulists ought to be for his pluck in coming
to their defense. At the same time the
populists are probably casting some
glances in the direction of Mr.. Cobb as an
avanble man to put up against Livlngs-
ton. Though why in the world they should
desire to put up any body against Livings-
ton cannot be understood
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

The revolution in the matter OF street
railway equipments is almost complete.
Statistics collected by the Street Railway
Journal show that this country has now
14.470 miles OF street railroad track. OF
this mileage New England has 1.s23 miles.
the central east ASA miles. the central
west 1850 miles the south 1906 miles and
the west 2,3l7 miles. There are now l2.13S
miles Of electric road in the country, and
only 1919 miles Of horse road.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Some time ago the class of '96 of Yale
University planted a sprig of ivy from the
grave of Gen. R. E. Lee at the base of
the Woolsey statue on the university
campus. At the dedication of the statue.
1t will be remembered Prof. TwitcheH
made a sensational attack upon Gen.
Lees memory. The ivy, it is said, grew
finely. few days ago, however the dis
covery was made that it had been remov-
ed. The story given out at the university
is that some relic hunter probably re-
moved it. But the opinion obtains tina,
some partisan, who at first objected to
dts being planted there. tore it up and
threw It away.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
watson's Responsibility.
From the Augusta Chronicle Dem.).

In this emergency, in this great political
crisis, where the rights of the people are
TO be vindicated, a grave responsibility
rests upon Hon Thomas e. Watson Sell
dom, II ever has such an opportunity to
serve a great cause been presented to a
private citizen
Mr.. Watson's candidacy will contribute
70 the success of the republican cause
MT. Watson's withdrawal will unite the
democrats and populists, and make GER
tain the triumph of measures which will
brlng prosperity to the masses and re
ieVe the government from the control OF
the privileged classes who have admins
years. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Ii Hung Chang is gathering lots Of in
formation, and giving mighty little in
return. He is said to be an animated in
terrogation point, plying everybody with
questions. sometimes of the most pointed
kind. By doing this he probably gets
the European diplomats into such state
OF illustration that they forget to pump
him for their own profit. Lis questions
are supposed to spring from his native in
nocence, but the probabilities are that
those who take him up for an unsophis-
ticated heather sell themselves cheaply.
He is a diplomat
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
Rough on the PrOhibitIonists.
From the New York World DENY.

The prohibitionists will soon have some
thing to say about that new SO silver GER
tihcate with its representation of an old
woman making wine. Also another wor-
thy section of the people will have a few
remarks TO make about the nude figure Of
the boy watching her toiling against the
that bill had been practical persons not
cursed with the artistic sense they would
have had the old woman holding ont a
temperance pledge to a boy in Fauntle-
roy costume pen in hand and ready ~
sign ~
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
The Democratic Hendounrter..

II reports are to be credited the choice
Of Chicago instead Of Washington as the
headquarters OF the democratic campaign
committee was not accomplished without
considerable friction. Chairman Jones
wanted Washington TO be the headquar-
tiers and he was supported by Senator
German and other well known leaders. Mr..
Bryan, together with Gov. Altgeld and
some Of the other leaders who are regard
ed as extremists. insisted on Chicago. 1t
is even said that Mrs. Bryan urged her
husband to insist upon Chicago, telling
him that in his recent Chicago speech he
declared that the issue before the peo-
pie being a comparatively new one. new
men should have the management Of the
campaign.
The statement that Mrs. Bryan infiu-
enced Mr.. Bryan to insist upon Chicago
as the place from which to conduct the
campaign IS probably without foundation
She may have her preference. but it can
be pretty safely stated that she did not
push her views upon the attention of the
national committee. She knows very well.
or ought to know, that the national com
mittee would not be Influenced to adopt
her views upon any important matter af-
fecting the campaign. Therefore. it IS
pretty safe to say that the headquarters
will be in Chicago, not because she want
ed them there, but because the commit
tee thought the campaign ought to be
conducted from that point.
There is something probably in the story
that Chairman Jones does not satisfy the
extremists of the national committee.
and that they are very much opposed to
Senator German having any part in the
management of the campaign. They want
such men as Gov. Altgeld and Gov. Till
man to be the directors-in-chief They
are afraid that Senator German is so
much of a gold bug that he could not
render the party loyal service under ex-
listing conditions.
The extremists appear to be lacking in
good judgment. There is no other man on
the national committee who is so well
qualified to direct the campaign as Sena-
tor German. To dispense with his SER
vices therefore is to invite mistakes and
lessen the chances of democratic success.
Whatever his opinions on the silver ques-
ton may be, it is certain that he is giving
the ticket a loyal support, and no fair
minded man doubts that he will continue
to do so. 1t is mistake therefore 10
turn him down, and Chairman Jones ap-
parenuy so regards it, II men like Gov.
Altgeld and Gov. Tillman are encouraged
to insist upon debating the plan of the
campaign Chairman Jones may find it nee
essary to retire from his position. 1t is
to be hoped however, that there is no
such a lack of harmony in the national
committee as there is reported to be.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Mr.. Bryan is not going to Maine yet
a while. Mr.. Watson had made arrange
ments to follow Mr.. Bryan's itinerary in
that state, for the purpose Of trying to
persuade the down-easters to throw their
fellow citizen, Mr.. sewall, overheard.
Now, what is Mr.. Watson going to do
about it? Mr.. Bryan seems to be paying
no attention to him or his arrangements.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

The federal census OF 1880 gives the
population Of the state OF Kansas as
1.427.Os6 The township assessors of the
state have just completed a census, ac-
cording to which the total population is
1,S8s,e5O. The star Of empire IS no longer
making its way westward. but is pointing
TO the south. Florida has gained more
than $1,000 population since the census
of 1890 was taken, despite the disaster TO
the orange groves several years ago.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

The Boston Globe advises its readers
that eucumbers are harmless II eaten
when they are ripe" Generally speak
ing, ripe means having attained to per-
fectlon; matured; mellow. In the case
OF the cucumber, It is never eaten when
It has reached that stage Of ripeness at
which the peach is so delicious. In the
sense Of being At for use. the cucumber
is ripe very shortly after the flower falls
on Of it. In other words. it is TO be eaten
green. When it reaches maturity it is
yellow and insipid. and Is a menace to
health If eaten The cucumber. therefore.
is ripe when it is green, and even then
should be taken with pinch of salt.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Ii Hung Chang has written some. poe
try for the queens album. If he would
teach Mr.. Alfred Austin to do his poetry
in Chinese. literary England would
probably bless the time Of LIS coming.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

The Decadent. Growing Foot.-"Why. e
asked the Sophist, cant the girls of to-
day follow in their mothers footsteps?''
The Causist gazed into space.
4 don't know" he unused. Some saw
its due to pushing a bicycle, and others
TO springfield shoes. Detroit Tribune.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

The Georgia School Of Technology will
open on Sept 80. not Sd. as stated a few
days ago. in these columns, in a notice Of
that institution.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18
CURRENT COMMENT.
Tom In Hard Luck
From the New Orleans States Dem).

from the New Orleans States Dem).
Tom Watson of Georgia is in hard luck.
In Kansas they sold him out for few
congressman, and the indications are that
In other western states they will swan
nm for constableships before the cam
paign is over. In the meantime how
ever, Tom is enjoying his notoriety and
doing great deal of talking to the news
papers.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

The MORNING NEWS e published
every day In the year. and is served 10
subscribers in the city. or sent by man.
Al $40 month. 500 Tor six months. ana
fl0.0o for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by man. SIX
times a week (without Sunday issle1'
three months. 800. six months. FiJy' one
year. $500 .,,
The WEEKLY NEWS. . issues "eeA'
Monday and Thursday. by mail. one year
500.
Subscriptions payable in advance Ke-
nit bv postal order. check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail al rlsk OF
Eenders.
Transient advertisements. otner tnaH
special column. local or reading notces'
amusement and cheap or want column,
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines Of agate
svpe-eoual 10 one inch square in depth
Is the standard Of measurement. Con
tract rates and discounts made known on
application at business Office.
Orders for delivery Of the AORNlNG
NEWS 10 either residence or place or
business may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 30. Any irregu-
larity in delivery should be Immediately
reported to the Office OF publication.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ga
EASTERN OFFICE. % Park Row. New
York City, c. S. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Mr.. Gladstone and Lii Hung Chang have
been photographed together. Not long
ago Prince Bismarck and the Chinese
statesman We're photographed together
Presently Ii viii arrive in this country
when it Will be the proper thing for him
TO be photographed with our Grand Old
Man. Who is he?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-18

Fifteen tramps the other day held uE
a wedding party at HickvilIe. O., ate all
of the wedding supper. stole all the
money and valuables about the place,
including the groom's swallow-tau coat
and the marriage license. and went their
way. There must be a scarcity of tar
and feathers in that section of Ohio. as
the dispatches say nothing about such
things as a SEQUEL to the tramps, raid.