The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-03

~ ara doubtless docs, depend
on his taking the offensive. If she should
lose faith in his aggressiveness, she
might cease to act on the defensive, for
love is sort of sexual warfare that will
always go on, whichever combatant be-
gins the fray. The outcome is far more
important than the first step, though any
woman would be exceedingly indignant
were she suspected of having taken it.
The modest, reserved, retiring member
Of the natural partnership, she is in
clined invariably to represent, as must
be expected of her, that she has almost
nothing to do with its formation. The
reserved part is the part that conven-
tionality calls on her to play, and If ma
ture, on occasion, or frequently, so in
terposes as to render her acting irregu-
lar, somewhat spasmodic, it is not TO be
wondered at, and the natural school is
more TO be appreciated by its audience
of one.
Woman is bound as matter of course
to put her side of the case as strongly as
she can, and she is perfectly justified in
doing so. She feels that she is always
liable to be misunderstood, and she is
not going to assist in her misunder-
standing If she can help it. She may
be conscious that she is exaggerating at
times, that she fails to be strictly just
to man. but he, she thinks, has been
unjust to her so often that she is still
largely in arrears When she intimates
that she is altogether passive in her at
titude toward him; that what he does
she merely suffers to be done; that she
is scarcely more than a spectator while
most passionate, thrilling duet is per-
| forming, she taxes credulity beyond
bearing. Nobody disputes her, but no.
body quite believes her, not even herself.
Man is not humble, hopeless wor-
shipper nor woman a bundle of indiffer-
ence or insensibility. She may be por-
trayed, she may portray herself, as be.
ing wildly, unanimously loved, as in
cessantly pursued, as constantly retreat
| ing, as returning discreet monosyllables
for eloquent raptures, as cool and calm
before a raging fire, as having only a
curious, abstract interest in the result
which may decide her fate, which is al
least crisis in her life. But all this is
not plausible. 1t is not even natural.
Novels have often been recommended
as pictures of human nature, but those
of the old school as well as many of the
new are Grass caricatures of it. They sc
distort woman that she would not rec.
ognize herself as depicted there. But al
she is commonly set down as being WOO
ed and wooed and wooed steadily and
uuremittingly, in season and out of sea
son, before sac shows the slightest
symptoms of being won, she accepts the
caricature as likeness because it pleases
her to be SO presented and because it re
fleets her own bias. Courtship indeed IL
exhibited in fiction, and conventionally
as anomalous in excess. There is moth
ing remarkable in or about it. Every
body out of swaddling clothes knows
how it is conducted 1t is spoon agains
spoon for days or weeks or months, JUS
as it happens, until both become equal
ly spoony, when they are married as thu
most efficient means Of curing them O
their spooniness. Generally the womal
is worse than the man. Sometimes the.
are equally affected, though he is almos
always the first to recover, to SHOW
signs of returning sanity. This is tn
hard, common, sensible, perhaps rathe
cynical, way of putting it, but it is ters
and to the point.
What a complicated, abnormal, wir
drawn, ultra sentimental thing roman
GERS and women make in the telling o
it! In the thing itself, as presented, sb
has very little part beyond weeping, be
ing surprised, panied and generally un
happy ON promiscuous principle He !
the great performer and indefatigabl
simpleton from the first spark until tn
vast conflagration is about to be extin
guished. He becomes suddenly, irrecoy
erably enamored of her without tn
slightest countenance ON her side, with
out the faintest approval of him, with
out the smallest suspicion Of the fact
She is amazed when she hears of II
and, after many interviews, she cannc
tell whether she cares for him or moi
Weeks, months follow; then she begin
to think that she may like him. Anoths
period passes. She has come to beliey
that she would enjoy his friendship
But as lover, as husband-the idea
j dreadful, positively shocking; it make
her i'll. In due season she grows accu
toned to it, somehow, and their engage
ment is announced.
This is an enormous burden.
nearly prostrates her at times, but /
force of will and character she manag,
to keep up. At last she is to be married
the direful day is at hand. Her agony
intense. She sheds more tears than Nj,
be. Her mother, aunts, nieces, cousin
all her feminine kindred to the remote
degree, try to comfort her with exube
8 ant lacbrymal baptisms, and seem I
2 succeed in a measure. At least, she goe
through the ceremony without perishin
or swooning, but it is an awful trial
and she is heroic to sustain it. This
the end of the protracted convulsion
She now descends to common sense, an
acts like normal woman. She abrupt
ceases to be high fiier.
Little account has been taken Of hin
during this epic period He has merel
been the humbliest of adorers, dragging
himself around after her continually
begging her to smile ON him at leas
once to save him from utter desolatiol
and despair. To marry is trifle, sim
pie commonplace. To be married is hig
tragedy, superlative commotion.
All this is very much as courtshi
is conveyed by romances and by women
] and they have been doing it for year
: and years, though everybody acquainte
with human nature and real life
aware that it is mere fiapdoodle. WON
h an has quite as much capacity to love a
I man has. probably far more, and is quit
as energetic, ardent, demonstrative q