davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1896-02-21
HER HORRIBLE SLANG.
IndianapOlis Journal

She held a daisy In her hand
And plucked its petals one by one,
As fair a picture was she then
As e'er was shone on by the sun.
The rude young man who. unawares.
Approached her. nearly had it,
To hear her roseleaf lips enun-
Ciate: He loves me-loves me nit!'
Omaha daily bee., 1896-02-21
BRIGHT AND BREEZY.

Texas Sftngs: collecting agency in
New York Is run by women exclusively,
which seems to develope the adage, A
woman's work Is never dun.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-02-21

Cincinnati Enquirer: "The next living
picture ladies' and gentlemen" chanted the
barker as he drew the curtain. revealing a
lady wrapped In thought and looking the
other way, sis called Retaliation So
called, ladies and gentlemen, on account Of
the ladys striking back"
Omaha daily bee., 1896-02-21

New York Tribune: Sympathetic Cal,er-I
am sorry your rheumatism doesn't get any
better. Did you ever try course of
cclisthenics1
Omaha daily bee., 1896-02-21

Boston Transcript: Wngle-Why call 1t a
toothbrush? You should say "teethbrush,"
unless you happen to have but one tooth.
Wangle-Nonsence; one does not say
"shoesbrush."
Wingle-No; because he brushes but one
shoe at a time.
Wangle-But how about hair-brush?
Omaha daily bee., 1896-02-21

Washington Star: understand that your
side :ost some men in an engagement with
the Cubans."
The Spanish officer glared and said moth
ing.
"Bad generalship. eh?"
mo Typographical error"
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
she CARRIES THE MAIL.
Plucky Ida Minton and Her Life in the
Mountains.

Plucky Ida Minton and Her Life in the
Mountains.
The road from Castlow to Anderson
vile is through one of the toughest re-
gions of Kentucky, says the Cincinnati
Enquirer. Robberies are frequent, and
many a brave man has hesitated and
looked well to his gun before entering
on the trip. To Mrs. Minton, however,
the highway has no terrors. She enjoys
the unique distinction of being proba-
bly, the only female mail-carrier in
Uncle Sans service who rides horse
back fearlessly through the forests
with her pouch, which contains the
missives which are the only means of
communication with the world at large
to the residents of Andersonville.
She is typical Kentucky mountain
girl, active, strong, fearless and very
intelligent. She is an excellent horse
woman. No animal is too high spirited
for her, nor does she need help in
mounting and dismounting. With the
mail pouch thrown across the pommel
of her saddle, she rides fearlessly along
the lonely highway, and it is safe to
say that anyone interfering with Uncle
Sans mail would have to be better
and quicker shot than the ordinary
man, or very we'll mounted, to stop the
mail.
Mrs. Minton has been married two
years. It was from her own inclination
to help earn money that she took the
contract to carry the mails for three
years. She has now completed eight
months of her contract.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
ATE a BARREL OF EGGS A DAY.
shipwrecked Men Subsisted on Thorn for
Twelve Dava

DO you like eggs?" was the question
that stirred up "'49er" to make
some talk in a Bangor store the other
day. He was an old man. says the
Lewiston (Me) Journal, and he
Strengthened up to something like the
height of his prime as he answered:
II had surfeit of them once. Twas
many years ago when / was ON the way
home from California. We left the
tsthmus ON good brig bound for New
York but ran into coral reef in the
Caribbean sea and We're wrecked. 1t
was a patch of sand just out of the
water, but you ought to see the hocks
Of sea fowl that nestled on 1t. They
had to move out of the way to give us
room to stay there and that was about
oil they would do. Their nests were
everywhere and there were eggs in
abundance. We ate about a barrel Of
them every day during the IL days
we were there. Some of us got OFF in
boat and went to Sun Juan, in
Nicaragua, where we got vessel to
go after those we left on thereof. That
vessel was commanded by William
Lawrence, of Bath, who was killed by
man named Wilkinson while he was
q policeman there. We tried to get
to the reef, but bad weather stove us
up so we had to set In for New Or
leans, where we found the rest of the
men rescued by another vessel. But
eggs"-the old mans face took on a Pc
culiar expression,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
JAPANESE LITERATURE.
Much Activity Among tho Learned Mon
of tho Mikado,s Realm.

Much Activity Among tho Learned Mon
of the Mikado's Realm.
There is deal of literary activity In
Japan just at the present time, which,
however indicative possibly 1t may be
of better times to come, is now and Of
itself far from commendable, says the
London Dial. The overwhelming pre-
dominance of the mere periodical is what
the writer especially complains Of. A
native Japanese regrets, among other
things, the incompetency Of versifying
in the Chinese language, which lie
spoken of as something common, the
degradation Of literature by the COM
mercial spirit, the excessive prevalence
of fiction, the cocksureness of impor-
tant airs taken on them by the class Of
youthful critics that has sprung up.
He says of the latter: "With no ode
quate knowledge Of English, men COM
pose treatises on the comparative
merits of English poets, and raw Ger
man students express q preference for
one German poet rather than another"
Work, nevertheless, Of much more
substantial form than as thus indicated
is happily under way. A history Of the
recent war with China, in charge of the
government, is in contemplation, which
it is expected will require Ave years and
$4,000 yen for it's accomplishment. Be-
sides, the Imperial university has o
committee of 16 scholars In Its employ,
collecting, classifying and editing the
voluminous material requisite In The
preparation Of an exhaustive history Of
Japan.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
CHANGES OF LONGEVITY.
Primary Conditions Necessary to LeAl
and Healthy Life.

Primary Conditions Necessary to Long
and Healthy Life.
'Tyhe primary conditions Of longev-
tty," the Medical Record quotes Mr..
+. w. Warmer as saying, "are that the
heart, lungs and digestive organs, as
well as the BRAIN should be large. 1t
these organs are large the trunk will
be long and the limbs comparatively
short. The person will appear tall
In sitting end short In standing. The
hand will have a long and somewhat
heavy palm and short fingers. The
brain will be deeply seated, as shown by
the orifce of the ear being low. The
blue hazel or brown hazel eye, as show
ing an intermission Of temperament,
is favorable indication. The nostrils
being large, open and free indicates
large lungs. A pinched and half-closed
nosmn indicates small or weak lungs.
'In the case of persons who have
short-hved parentage on one side and
long-lived on the other side the ques-
ton becomes more involved, 1t ia
shown in grating by hybridizing that
nature makes a supreme effort to pass
the period of the shorter longevity and
extend the life Ito the greater longevity.
Anyone who understands these weak
and dangerous periods of life is fore
warned, and forarmed. 1t has been OBJ
served that the children Of long-lived
parents mature much later and are
usually backward in their studies"
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
A Pair Of Painters,

Smut creek is q small stream In the;
Big Horn mountains. A rancher In the
valley set trap for panthers, which he
thought had been stealing his sheep
The trap Yves Of steel, extra large and,
heavy, and baited with mutton. -Four
days In succession the rancher visited
the trap, and found nothing. He
omitted the fifth day, and when he
came on the sixth he heard groaning'
sound. He found that every bush with
in five yards had been torn up by the,
roots, the ground itself looked as Il it
had been plowed, and the trap veg
gone. Following the sounds he saw,
the tips of the ears of an animal behind,
a rock. He made careful detour, With
rifle cooked, and finally came upon, not
one, but two panthers. One had Its
leg In the trap, the other was licking
the trapped panther, as cat would her
kitten. The rancher shot the untrapped
panther, and then easily dispatched
the other
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
TRUTH CRUSHED TO EARTH.
Sad Effects of Too Much Candor in AZ
i Aristocratic Mansion.

Sad Elects of Too Much Candor in an
! Aristooratic Mansion.
Two fair young girls sat in a dainty
boudoir gazing into each others eyes,
says the New York Herald.
1--WE are such good friends, Marcia"
said one, "and We cam afford to say
to each other just what we think. Now.
I have such q splendid scheme. Sup
pose we start out to-day by telling each
other the exact truth, without regard
to amy question Of politeness."
'How perfectly lovely, Lobeaia,"
cooed the younger girl OF the two.
"Let's begin right away. What do
you think Of me?"
1T Think" said Marcia, "that you arc
almost as pretty as you think you are,
and when you don't try to be- you ere
the most charming girl in the world"
"How awfully good Of you" rejoiued
the other, 'and do you know that when
you came in was thinking that you
looked Just like one Of those big feather
busters which had taken notion to
waikiki Only your feet are so very large
that the illusion was not quite perfect"
Two hsheveled young women, with
their faces cross lined by scratches,
were taken out Of that ar1stocrato
mansion five minutes later and hurried
in an ambulance 10 the nearest hos
pital,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
THE PLEeEIAN PEANUT.
A Valuable Addition to Meat Drsssings
| and Soups.

A Valuable Addition to Meat Dressings
! and Soups. i
The peanut, which for SO many years
has been the popular feature OF the
country fair and the circus, Is now
creeping into prominence. Doctors
have found that the peanut is an article
of food, erich in albumen, Of which 1t
contains 80 per cent?" and are now
recommending them as a valuable add
ton to the diet in the form Of soups,
purees and mush. The following are
some Of the ways In which they may be
used:
Peanuts rolled fine and added to the
bread stufing for ducks Is great addi-
ton and greatly improves it. Make o.
mayonnaise dressing, mash the pea,
nuts fine, and stir them in thickly and
spread between thin slices Of bread as
o sandwich; or plain buttered bread
may be sprinkled lightly with the nuts.
They may also be finely chopped and
eaten with milk. A very good soup may
be made of peanuts by boiling and
MASKING. The Chinese boil peanuts,
roll them fine, mold them In dough,
and bake. Many other ways may be
discovered by the oontriving house,
wife for the use of this hitherto de-
spised article Of diet.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29

never have one in the house. This
prejudice you have shared. now feel
that it is wrong to cherish such feel
ings against poor dumb brutes. l.
how should you like nice quiet pet?"
"Why, Isaac, the very idea. I, too"
Fearing that you might object, l."
ooh, not at all. I-how did you find
out"
decided to surprise you. You will
find in the library"
"Why, have you seen it, then? I
meant it as surprised"
Meant what as surprise? Isaac
Singlebody, what are you talking about,
If not the fine Angora cat have put
in the library Us surprise for you?"
Good gracious, Harriet, II was
thinking of the handsome poodle dog
I have put in the library as surprise
for you'll"
mercy on us, Isaac, what is that
awful noise? Is it an attack by In
dians. cyclone, or what?"
ut is not an attack by Indians, neither
is it cyclone" returned Mr.. Single
body, with the calmness of despair.
'That awful noise you hear is merely
our two pets scraping an acquaint-
ance!"
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
MooNeLINk.
a Peculiar blindness Caused by Sleeping
in tho MoonliRht.

In the Moonlight.
Three cases of "moonblink" occurred
on the British steamship Acanthus,
which reached Philadelphia the other
day. After the low-lying hills fringing
the shores Of Batavia faded from view
on the afternoon OF July IA for 80 days
her crew Of 60 officers and seamen saw
mo land, sighted no vessel and encoun-
tered no storm. Among the crew ara
three seamen who, during the run
aeross the Indian ocean, suffered terri
bly, from sudden blindness at night, the
result Of that strange disease Of the
eyes prevalent in the tropics, and
known to sailors as ''moonblink." One
bright, moonlight night, while the
Acanthus was stea1ning across the In
dian ocean, one OF them finding his
berth In the forecastle too uncomforta-
bly, hot, went out and lay upon the
deck. The moon was nearing her full
and shone almost directly overhead.
When the watch was changed ut mid:
might he was awakened and was horrt-
fed to find himself blind. At FIRST the
captain thought the man might be
shamming to avoid going on duty, but
an investigation was made, and 1t was
found that he could not see, although
his eyes were wide open. The calamity
was at once diagnosed as a case Of
I"moonblink," and the captain eau
toned his men against running such
risks. When day began to break sight
began to return, and by sunrise he
could see as we'll as If nothing unusual
had happened. All Of that day the
case formed the chief topic Of CONVEX
sation and when night came two moro
men determined to test the effect Of the
moon. After @ two hours nap In the
full glare of the moon both men were
awakened totally blind. An order from
the captain prevented any further e1-
perimenting IN that line during the rest
of the voyage.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29

Get Strength, Vigor, Clear Com
plexion and Good Digestion, not by
Patent Medicines, but IN Natures
own Way.
Any honest physician will tell you
that there is but one way to get in
creased flesh; all the patent medi-
cines and liver oils to the contrary
Notwithstanding.
Nature has but one way to increase
flesh, strength and viger of mind and
body, and that is through the stom
ach by wholesome food we'll digested
There is no reason or common sense
in any other method whatever.
People are thin, run down, nervous
pale and shaky in their nerves, simply
because their stomacls are weak.
They may not think they have dys-
pepsia, but the fact remains that they
do not eat enough food or what they
eat is not quickly and properly di-
gested as it should be.
cdr. Harlandson says the reason is
bee ause the stomach lacks certain di-
gestive acids and peptones, and de-
ficient secretion of gastric juice.
Natures remedy in such cases is to
supply what the weak stomach lacks.
There are several good preparations
which will do this, but none so readi-
ly as Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets,
which are designed especially for all
stomach troubles, and which cure a.
digestive weakness on the common
sense plan of furnishing the digestive
principles which the stomach lacks.
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets give
perfect digestion. First effect is to
increase the appetite and increased
vigor, added flesh, pure blood, and
strength of nerve and muscle is the
perfectly natural result.
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets is the
safest tonic known and will cure any
form of stomach trouble except can
Ger OF the stomach. May be found at
druggists at so cents for full sized
package or direct by mail from Stu
art Co., Marshall, Mich. Little book
on stomach diseases mailed free.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
'6-more than any

since confidence was cstored-among
them being the big bank failures of
Chicago and st. Paul, with bank fail
ures of less magnitude in all parts of
the country. The sound currency
committee is anxious that all money
except gold coin shall be issued ex-
clusively by the banks with no secur-
ity for its redemption but the indi-
vidual responsibility of the banking
incorporators. The rotten condition
of the banks, or else their criminal
management is sufficient answer to
that demand of the sound currency
robbers of the producers of wealth,
and will go far toward emphasizing
the public demand that all money,
and all substitutes for money shall be
issued by the government alone and
be a full legal tender for all debts
public and private.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
Were You Ever Rurned2

OF course you were, and you know
how painful a little burn is. Coles
Carbolisalve instantly relieves the
pain of Burns and Scalds and will
cure the worst case without a scar. 1t
is superior to any external remedy
known for the relief and cure of Piles,
Fever Sores, Ulcers, Chilblains, Bites
of Poisonous Insects, Salt Rheum,
letter and all Itching and Irritating
diseases of the Skin and Scalp. The
wrapper of the genuine is black and
the letters green. Small boxes 2
cents; Large boxes SO cents. Sold by
J. j. Lowry
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
THE DREADED CosUMPT1oN CAN
BE CURED.
T. A. slocum, M. c., the Great Chemist and
Scientist, Will Send. Free, Three Bottles
Of His Newly Discovered Remedies

Editor PLAIN DEALER:-I have discovered Il
reliable cure for Consumption and all Bronchial
Throat and Lung Diseases. General Decline
Loss of Flesh and all Conditions Of Wasting
Away. By its timely use thousands OF appal-
emily hopeless cases have been cured. Soproof-
positive am of its power to cure, that to make
its merits known, I will send, free, to any af-
fcted reader of your paper, three bottles of
my Newly Discovered Remedies upon receipt of
Express and postof1lce address. TIA. SLocuM,
NJ. c., 9s Pine strset, New York.
When writing the Doctor, please mention
this paper.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
Mushroom Society.

A society for the study OF mushrooms
has been organized in Philadelphia. It
will meet every two weeks, and mem.
bers will read papers ON such topics as
Mushrooms That Have Helped Me-"
The organizers say that there are about
es5 edible kinds Of mushrooms to be
found around Philadelphia, and that
tons Of the delicious food 60 to waste,
simply because people have a horror Of
what are known as tqadstools, only four
kinds Of which are really poisonous.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
BOTH WE'RE SURPRISED.
BY ELISA ARMSTRONG.

It was New Years day, and Miss Har-
riett Singlebody was so unusually alb
sent-mnded that she forgot to call the
attention of her brother to the fact that
lie was almost half minute late to
breakfast.
"This is New Years day, 1 believe"
he remarked, as he buttered his first
muffin.
$50 the calendar says" returned his
sister, who had just discovered that she
had forgotten to put sugar in her tea.
THE day for making good resolu-
tons and putting them into execution,
eh?"
well, er-yes."
Does it ever seem to you, Harriet,
that the house is very quiet?"
"Why, yes, of late it has seemed so.''
"And we are growing older every
day."
"speak for yourself as to that. ]
am an entire year your junior!"
"Well, the fact is, that have always
had an aversion to pets. In fact, be.
lieve I have always said that would
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29

Some statistical genius has found out
that only about one In thousand mar
ried couples live to celebrate their
golden wedding. 1t would be interest
ing to know what the average duration
OF matrimonial bliss Is In these divorce
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
petr,fled Fish in wyoming.

For score of years biologists have
known Of the existence Of immense beds
of shale in Wyoming, which OCCASIONALLY
have yielded fine specimens Of fossil
shell fish, but it is only recently that
similar beds have been discovered In
Colorado. These beds of petrifed fish,
containing millions on millions OF in-
dividual specimens, cover hundreds Of
square miles In the northwestern part
Of the state.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
AtProud Mans Boast.

j, 81 owe Mp man a cent" said he
proudly.
They gazad on him with wondering
admiration:
mo man on earth. The only persons
I owe are my landlady and washer
woman.'+TttoBits
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
Nicholas Of Scotch Oririn

"a claim is put forth that the car is
tn some extent Scotsman. Gear Paul,
yahen in London. is said to have fallen
In love with Miss MacGregor, a young
woman noted for her beauty, who hap
pened to be riding her Shetland pony In
Hyde Park. He married her privately,
so, the story goes, and she was the moth;
er Of Nicholas I. The present car
would, therefore, be her great-grand-
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
For Sale or Rent.

My house and property in New Ore
gon. Title perfect; price right; terms
satisfactory. Enquire OF Geo. BLY,, or
of A. j. Mintey, near the premises.
n25w3 G. S. BLY,.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29

NyANTED-FAITHFU MEN OR WOMEN
w to travel for responsible established house
in Iowa. Salary $7s6 and expenses, Position
permanent. Reference. Enclose self-addres-
sed stamped envelope, The National, Star In
snrauee Bldg, Chicago.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
The Reason.

Maude,-They say that Charley Goanes
Is awfuley sweet on you.
Clara--Nonsense! I wouldn't be seen
in his company.
Maude-1 suppose that is the reason
why you always turn the light down
Wben. he eallar=.Haxtau TIauncx1pt E
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
WORTH 4 DOLLAR A DROP.

Maryland Democrats Drink Madeira fson
1 Thomas Jefferson's Cellsrs.
One Of the features Of the dinner
that was given the other night In Ba1ti-
more TO Harry A. Parr, president Of the
Honest Money Democratic League Of
Maryland, was some Jeffersouian
Madeira wine for the Jehersoniaps
who were present. The wine Is Of the
vintage OF 1900. and its authenticity Is
beyond any question.
It reposed In the famous wine cellars
of Thomas Jefferson at Monticello un-
til 1884, when It was purchased at the
sale OF the effects OF the founher Of
the democratic party by Philip Evan
Thomas. the f1rst president Of the Bal
timore & Ohio railroad. From Mr.,
Thomas 1t descended to his daughter,
Mrs. John Wefherd, and the remaiqder
of the original purchase, about six gall
Ions, was bought by Douglas II. Thomas
after Mrs. Wetherd's death in 1885,
from the cellar Of her country place pit
Catonsville. It was served with the
dessert.
This is ono Of the wines that u often
described as being worth O dollar Q
drop. Il the money that was originally
invested in 1t had instead been placed
in savings bank and kept there the
amount which 1t originally took to
purchase a gallon Of this wipe would
now have grown to abouts1,5oo. Doug
las n. Thomas, the donor OF the wine, is
connoasseur In Madeira, and has one
Of the best cellars In Baltimore. He
has samples Of all the greatest vintages,
including many even older, 1t Is said,
than the ono served at tho banquet.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-12-29
+ YOU Have BEEN SICK

and the other doctors cannot help
you, write to me. Do not stay
with them until they cut you open
or kill you with their drugs.
MELVILLE O. KEITH, M. d.,
Belleville, Ohio,