The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1896-10-10

mr.. brown saved Hair n Dollar. But He
spoiled his hest Trousers


In moment Of economy Mr.. Brown
went out into the kitchen Of the tiny
nat 10 press his trousers and Mrs. Brown
followed 20 witness the performance
and 10 laugh ut the figure he cut pranc-
ing around in his BAHAMAS. which he had
donned 10 allow the stray breezes COM
ing in through the shutters 10 fan him
while engaged in the operation.
at makes me think TO watch you."
chirruped Mrs. Brown. sitting on the
table and swinging her heels, "of some
thing that happened one day last SUM
mer when / was typewriting.
Before you met me?"
"Just so. Well. Arthur Jones came
down TO the Office in n cool suit of duck.
but some way he looked awfuliy funny
One of the men said: 'Hullo, Jones.
what have you been doing TO your
trousersT and Arthur replied that he
didn't want any chatting, that he had
had trouble enough all day running
sideways because some Chinese galoot
had wheels. Arthur was awfuliy
slangy."
HAD the creases running up the
side, did hep" said Mr.. Brown. "That
makes me think of once when we fell
J lows on the old Post had fiat. There
was n coon used TO take care OF the joint
for us. Joint? That's a name for any,
old place you like pretty well. Weli,
the coon hadn't much TO do but smoke
our tobacco and drink our beer when
we weren't about. so / thought I'd
utilize him for valet and gave him two
pairs OF pants 20 press"
"Why, Charlie" interpolated Mrs.
Brown, did you wear pants in those
days?"
Excuse me. my dear, trousers, but
they were pants when we got through
with them" said Mr.. Brown, solemnly,
wetting his finger and sizzling the iron.
"He thought he'd be very careful with
them, you know, aud when n coon does
such n rash thing as TO think it's all
up with you. Billy didn't want to spoil
the cloth by putting the iron on it. so
he truned the garments inside out. You
may imagine the result. put them on
without noticing them, being in n
hurry, and / had TO go about all day
with Vatican plat down the front OF
each leg and likewise down the back"
Tor hooducSSf kiaNieHs
gurgled Mrs Brown, did folks think
you wore n tea gown
81 didn't go around taking an in
ventory of opinion"
"Charlie," said Mrs. Brown, you
know the Allisons. what fun they areY
Well, the other day Mr.. Allison told
me an awful good one on the doctor.
On their last trip abroad they couldn't
get deck cabin, and il WINS awfuliy
: stuffy in their stateroom, 50 the doc
, tor thought he'd fix things, because he
: knew Just as much and more than any
; OF the ships crew And what did he do
but open the port hole after locking
! the door for the night. The sea was
, placid and IL was very agreeable. When
; he took off his trousers he asked Mrs
Allison how in the world he was going
, TO keep them pressed going over, and
. then thought OF happy scheme and
folded them up carefully and placed
! them under the red plush cushions OF
the couch. Then they went to bed and
10 sleep. But IN the morning they dis
covered that the waves had swashcd
in during the night and the couch was
al wet and his trousers were n sight.
) Not only wet, but red--gory."
e Mr.. Brown set the iron down and
J burst into a roar while he leaned up
! against the sink and mopped the per-
o spiration from HIS brow. Mrs. Brown
2 laughed and swung her heels. Just
: then smell Of burning cloth pervaded
Q the lSftched. Mr. Brown snatched up
: the iron and the cloth and gazed rue
fully at big round spot on the leg OF
: his trousers.
"Sny, Madgc, what do you think of
: that? I've saved half q dollar and
e ruined my best business suit listening
20 your gabble."
2 Mrs. Brown slid off the table and
I snatched up the garment, her face over
d spread with reflection of the comical-
ity of the situation.
: "Oh. OH" she shrielSed, another
y story. and their name IL was pants.
$ Charlie. YOU are too funny for any
/, thing"
Y But Charlie banged the iron into the
= coal scuttle and said bad word.--N.
: Y. Sun.
r SELF-SACRIFiCING JONAH.