davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
CURRENT HUMOR.

Ayoung man took his watch to a jeweler and
asked the reason of its stopping.
"Well," said the jeweler. .there is a bedbug
in it,"
"Why, how could a bedbug get in watch 2"
Easily enough" said the jeweler. "It went
in between the ticks. s."-Hennessy %. IT, Press
Democrat.
Mr.. Henpec-Do you see anything wrong
with this hat?
His Friend-No. Why?
Mr.. Henpec-Well, when wear that hat my
wife is always kicking at it.
His Friend--well, it's plain she wants you to
get her position in the ballet.-Puck.
The poster girls have scarlet eyes
And yellow cheeks and purple hair,
With brownish ears and greenish lips
In tints outre beyond compare.
The poster girls are gaunt and queer,
With ghostlke waists and ghoulish feet
Such ghastly hands and arms-oh, dear,
What do the poster madeus eat?
Chicago Record.
The old family cat awoke from a nap before
the fire and stretched himself in q manner
common to cats. Margie looked at him with
distended eyes.
"My doodnessl" she exclaimed. 81 dess re
tats doin't boil over."-Judge.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

THE TRAINING SCHooL-E. A. s., Sacramento
Cal. Up to this time nothing has been don
in the matter of establishing the traintn
school on Goat Island. AS soon as anything
done it will be noticed in THE CALI.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

THE VICE-PREsIDENT-A. S., Christine, Men
docino County, Cal. The name of the Vice
President of the United States is Adlai f.
SteYensOn.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
CALIFORNIANS IN NEW YORK.

NEW YORK, N. Y, May 15.-At the Hoff-
man, S. P. Ely; Holland. Miss Rose, Miss
Crockett. Sailed per steamship Saale for
Bremen, via Southampton, n. Diers, Miss Rosa
Fuller, Mrs. Colombia Brustie.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

THE n. P. C. R. R. via Sausalito ferry is the
only railroad company running out of San
Francisco that does not cater to Sunday pic
mics, thus giving families and private parties
by boiSterouS crowds
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
NO DRUMMERs' LICENSE REQUIRED
Chico Merchants VIII Extend a
Hearty Welcome to CONNER.
cial Traueyers

To the Editor of the San Francisco Cdil-SIR:
For the information of commercial men doing
cities OF Northern California, desire to say
that there is not now and never has been a
license required of commercial men doing
business with the merchants OF Chico. The
prosecution OF one Haskell for violating the
license ordinance of Chico, recently decided
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Our streetcar system will be vanity so
long as the transfer nuisance remains a
vexation of spirit.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

AS there is Secretary of the Inferior in
the Cabinet why not Secretary of the
Pacific Coast?
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
PARAGRAPHS ABOUT PEOPLE.
Queen Natalie of Servia has the most beau
tiful teeth of any royal parsonage in the world

Queen Natalie of servia has the most beau
tiful teeth Of any royal parsonage in the world.
Count Tolstoi receives letters in four or five
languages, and always replies in that in which
he is addressed.
General Sir Michael Anthony shrapnel Bid
Rod, forgot his official speech in Parliament
the other day.
Mrs. George Gould's tiara, which she has
just received from a London maker, cost $780,.
600, and is said to be one of the finest speci.
mems OF the jewelers. art in America.
Zola's enemies are preparing an anthology
OF the Objectionable words and phrases in his
works, to be presented to the French Academy
when he next offers himself as candidate.
The daughter of General Hippolyte, the
lately deceased President of the Haytian Re
public, is at present in Paris for the purpose ol
perfecting herself in the French language.
The Empress Frederick of Germany will spend
large part of the next two years in England
She will become, it is said, the tenant of Dittou
Park, the late Duke of Buecleugh's beautiful
old place near Windsor. now belonging % Lord
Montagu of Beaulieu.
Field Marshal Lord Wolseley, commander-in.
chief OF the British army, expresses the opinion
that "the man who believes that the time il
coming when there will be no wars is dan
gerous dreamer-especially dangerous if he
happens to hold public position
Ernest T. Hargrove, the newly elected presi
dent of the Theosophical Society, belongs to ar
old English family. One of his ancestors was
General Hargrove, once Governor of Gibraltar
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

President Steyn of the Orange Free State,
now prominently before the public, received a
considerable portion Of his education in Eng.
land, and studied law at Lineoln's Inn, where
he served several terms.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The stream of prosperity will never flow
easily in this country until we get rid of
the Democratic debris.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The Oregon's record will stand supreme
until we build California.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Wherever you hear sounds of enthusi
asm in thes' days you know that Republi-
cans are talking together.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

JEWISH MEssENGER-G. D. S., Forbestown
Butte County. Cal. The Jewish Messenger i
published in the city of New York.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

FOR COUGHS, ASTHMA AND THROAT DISORDERS
use "Brolcn,s BronchidI Trocles" Sold only in
boxes. Avoid limitations.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

1t is well understood now that patriotism
means protection and protection mean
prosperity.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

TIE Prohibitionists have made their
platform bigger, but 1t is by no means cer-
tain they will get more people on it.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

We may now expect Eastern ship
builders to assert a belief that the Oregon s
course was measured by California yarn.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

SPECIAL information daily to manufacturers,
business houses and public men by the Press
Clipping Bureau (Allens), $40 Montgomery.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

MARK HOPKINS INSTITUTE OF ART-Organ re-
citals Sunday afternoon. Otto Fleissner organ
list, Miss Caroline Boyan vocalist.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

DIR. SIEeER-'s Angostura Bitters, a pure vege
table tonic, makes health and health makes bright
rosy cheeks and happiness.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

After the st. Louis convention there are
going to be some prediction bureaus sold
cheap enough for firewood
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Now that we have the Oregon afoat per-
haps we can induce those Eastern fellows
to quit calling US mining camp.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Under the Junta Democratic harmony
seems to be a tinkling cymbal and sound
ing brass.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
Take the Northern Pacific to All Pofnts

If you are going East call at 63S Market street
San Francisco and get our figures. Finest service
in the Northwest. All trains vestbued and
equipped with diningcars upholstered tourist cars
and elegant Pullman sleepers. Through sleepers
once week. T. Z. Stateler, agent.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

1t is time to be making ready for the
glorious Fourth.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS

FAIRS YACHT-F. NJ, San Pedro, Cal. The
price of the gasoline yacht built for Fair was
S25 ,OOO
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Mrs. George Gould's tiara, which she has
just received from a London maker, cost $780,.
600, and is said to be one of the finest speci.
mems of the jewelers. art in America.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

If the appropriation bill proves to be big
enough to provoke a Cleveland veto and
then override it the country will be
pleased.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

General Sir Michael Anthony Shrapnel Bid
dulph, the new gentleman usher Of the Black
Rod. forgot his official speech in Parliament
the other day.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

THE STAR to-day on Father Yorke and the A.
P. A., Rabbi Levy's patriotic sentiments.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The lack of late reference to the Nc
Kinley cabinet affords presumptive evi-
dence that the Democratic Tyre broke a
string on the first strain
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

If the Populists succeed in swallowing
anything as long as the Omaha platform
they might as well take giraffe for
party mblem.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The only thing the people have to fear
in the proposal to renominate Cleveland
is that the old humbug may he too cum
ming to accept it.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

If you wish to preach protection elo-
quentIy in this campaign begin to practice
it now by helping to make San Francisco
a market for home products.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

According to Admiral Walker if we
should put every ship-building factory in
the country to working at full blast in the
construction of warships it would take the
United States seven years to get navy
equal TO that of Great Britain, and it
would seem time, therefore, for us to set
about Iaaking the thing little more even.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
and his mother was descendant of Sir Martin
Frobisher, the famous navigator.

Miss Lydia Bradley of Peoria, H., who has
already given that city hospital, a home for
aged women, church, and a park of 145
acres, has delared her intention of Immediately
erecting a polytechnic institute, which, with
its endowments and appurtenances, will rep
resent a cost of 81 100000.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
SOFT chewing molasses candy. Townsen

THE STAR to-day roasts the daily press.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Indiana Democrats might as we'll quit
shouting for Claude Matthews and save
their breath for somebody else No man
named Claude will ever be elected Presi-
dent of the United States in these anti
dude days
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

STRANGERS, take home Townsend's California
Glace Fruits, SOC lb. 627 Market, Palace Hotel.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The proposed festival may or may not
occur, but the Fourth of July is sure to
come and we should arrange for a celebra-
ton of it that will be worthy of the CITY
and the occasion
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Zola's enemies are preparing an anthology
OF the Objectionable words and phrases in his
works, to be presented to the French Academy
when he next offers himself as q candidate.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

SOFT baby cream, l5c pound. Townsends. /.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

According to the way some people figure
the Republican candidates for President
and Vice-President both will be nominated
before the st. Louis convention meets, in
which case there will be splendid oppor-
tunity to turn 1t into the largest ratitica-
tion meeting this country every dreamed
of
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

1t is about as easy to get through the
eye Of an needle as to transfer at Market
and Powell streets, but the bosses ride in
carriages and they don't care.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

There were 23S failures in the United
States for the week ending May 8, as
against 227 for the corresponding week of
last year, being an increase of IL, while
in Canada. for the same periods. there was
q decrease of 10, but then the Canadians
are not operating under a Democratic
tariff.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

FRESH buttercups, 25c pound. Townsend's.'
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

To the Union Iron Works we point with
pride.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

BEST peanut taffy in the world Townsend's. /.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The SUNDAY CALL of tomorrow will
furnish the best family reading that can
be had anywhere for the price, but to
make sure of getting it you must leave
orders to-day.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The whole Nation may be proud of the
Oregon, but it should not be allowed to
forget that she was built by Pacific Coast
energy and Pacific Coast skill.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

THE STAR roasts rogues. 5 cents.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Count Tolstoi receives letters in four or five
languages, and always replies in that in which
he is addressed.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Many Democratic State conventions
have been held this spring, but none of
them have given Cleveland chance to
announce that he is not candidate for
denomination
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16
TIE CALL SPEAKS FOR ALL.

AS for Irving NJ. scott-he's all right.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

READ THE STAR. 1t is fearless, frank and fr,
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

Secretary Morton was right in saying
much OF our fruit must seek foreign mar
ket, but all the same we must make the
home market safe by good protective
tariff.
The San Francisco call., 1896-05-16

The daughter of General Hippolyte, the
lately deceased President of the Haytian Re-
public. is at present in Paris for the purpose of
perfecting herself in the French language.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-06-10


A new use has been found for
the slot-machine. An Italian,
Signor Ernesto Artom, has adopt
ed it to an automatic savings
bank. He proposes that in every
town and village this bank shall
be placed in all public buildings,
railway stations and outside
factories and saloons, to invite
and promote economy.
This automatic bank is nothing
but the usual cast-iron box or
pillar, on whose surface there are
three slots; in the first the coin is
introduced-namely, 10 centime
piece. If this coin is false it is
by simple continuance rejected
by the machine and pushed out of
the second slot; if it be good u re-
ceipt for the amount comes out of
the third opening at the bottom
of the box.
By means of this invention the
laborer who can spare only a
penny from his daily wages is en-
abled to place 1t at interest with
out taking the trouble of going to
the savings bank, for even this
loes of time is often to him Sc
rious consideration, seeing that
these banks are open only at stat
ed hours, and those mostly hours
when the poor are at work. For
it is a curious fact and fact that
can be verified in other countries
than Italy that places where
money can be squapdered are open
day and night, while places where
it can be saved are open only at
restricted hours and hedged
around with petty difficulties and
delays.
When the depositor has collect
ed a sufficient number OF receipts
they must moi be less than five
he can exchange them for a
libretto of the regular savings
bank; an interest of 4 per cent net
is paid on deposits and the depo-
sitors are entitled to share in the
profits which the bank derives
from its operations.
But it is not only for Italy that
this idea is valuable, says the
New York Herald. Excellent re-
suits might follow its introduce
ton in America. We have our
savings banks, it is true. Many
of them will accept any sum, from
a dime up. But they are neces-
sarily hemmed in with restrictions
as to time and place. The slot
machine is never closed. 1t can
be put up anywhere. Nickels
can be dropped down its hospita-
BILE NAV at any time the nickels
are in hand. Since the receipts
are always good for presenting
and entering upon the books OF
the regular savings banks, even if
some weeks elapse before the de-
positor finds himself near such a
bank, his interest runs on, for the
receipt is automatically dated.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-06-10

A. j. Derby, DDS, Dental
Office Cottage No. 100, Alakea
street, telephone No. 615 Office
hours 8 AN. to 4 PM.
Sterling, the painter, is pre-
pared to quote prices on roof
painting. He uses a composition of
coal tar and cement. Cheapest
and best roof preparation in Ho-
nolulu.
Germany is entitled to the
credit of the discovery of the con-
version Of barley into malt. Every
age has seen an improvement in
beer manufacture, the latest and
best example being the celebrated
Seattle beer sold at the Criterion
saloon.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-06-10
no GUESSING
NO GAMBLING !

1 have been stopped from offer
ing premiums, but as a reward for
your patronage, and to the person
holding the greatest number of
Tickets, July LIST, l will make a
present of two Silk Dress Patterns,
Is yards each, or one fine Silk
Shirt and one dozen Silk Hand
kerchiefs: These tickets will be
handed you with every one dollar
cash purchase. There will be no
gambling or guessing of any num-
bers; all that you have to do is to
keep the tickets and present them
at my store, July LIST, and if you
have the largest number the pre-
sent is yours.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1896-06-10
The Union Express Go
81 KING STREET.

Not Trust, but org tnized for the public
good.
CHECKING street, opposite the Hawai-
ian Gazette Co.
Express wagons and drays always ready
for the purpose of removing baggage and
furniture.
Checking of baggage to depot or wharves,
from hotels or residences promptly and
carefully attended to by competent men.
Wagons meet all steamers and baggage
placed in our charge will be stored or de.
livered as requested.
Charges, the lowest in the city.
Telephone SO.
WILLIAM LARSEN,
3l9-t Manager.
Evening star., 1896-12-09
HABITS.
Some Have Them and Others Are Not
Without.

man likes hot drink for breakfast and
coffee suits his alsut M well as anything.
III seems bard that many sjoald he denied ,of-
Zee because IL upsets their liver and disalees with
them IN one WY and ano,her. Sill this condit lon
docs exist. snd VIXEN finds II hurts him he
is generally seLsibe enough 10 leave II oft Of his
bill OF fare, for 1t is quite a hit pi,asan1or TO feed
Well all day than TO enjoy q drug TWO or three
minutes and pay fer * In aches and ais or sick.
ness.
new br akfast drink has come into use d.ili.
cui; to tell from coffee. Int mad. entirely Of
grains. aDd which never produces any disagrceaile
results Ii !as the clean, punrcnt flavor So much
enjoyed in coffee. hut while coffee hurts the sys-
ttm Postum Cereal goes to work in downright good
earnest e. made red blood.''
Il is composed only of the grains intended hy
nature for mans Subsistence. These are skillf;;y
blended and prepared in sug a way ~ Ia pro,,i,.a
4 hot drink the fac-simile Of rich Mocha or lava
coffee. bu, fatteing and healthful. stomach liver
and bowel troubles disappear when coffec and ia
are left of and the iood drink, Postum, taken in
their place.
This toothsome drink goes about three times ~
far as coffee. AMI produces health and comfort
where trouble formerly existed. j t. Inrdr ~
the Postum Cereal Co. Lin. 81 Battle Cr,, X,
Mirh. When n man II L. lay
af'er day every few days. IL can quite sal. ~
10" charged 10 Incorrect habits. and coffee aud t,a
drinking are the rsal cause "f b,dy disorder
than any che knows A hai: IS hard To get over
but when a delicious tasting article is off,
which produces health instead "f tearing II down
| the change Is easy TO make. Prominent Crarrs
say /: exac'iy meets want; and persons who lave
been kept from coffee on account of thrir h,a n
| are now having all The enjoy mcnt c,fir. drink
| ing ard getting fat over II.
| Just good A. Postum Cereal are words u,od
| To defraud the plhlic
Evening star., 1896-12-09
ANACOSTIA RAILROAD.
Revival of the Talk of Rapid
Transit.

Revival of the Talk of Rapid
J. Transit.
Talk about the prospects for having rapid
transit between the city of Washington
proper and Anacostia, Congress Heights
and other places on the south side of the
Anacostia river, has been revived since the
present session Of Cor sress began, and
again the hope is revived that some feasible
scheme will be devised to accomplish the
much to -be-desired object.
1t is reported that a company of Penn
sylvania capitalists who own the exclusive
| rights on one type of compressed air mo-
tCrs, has recently made a quiet survey of
the route of the present Washington and
ADacoStia car line, ana have also carefully
estimated the amount of prospective bust
ness that would probably be done over the
line if it was equipped with rapid transit
! facilities and extensions made SO that it
would reach other points on the south side
of the river other than Anacostia and
Hillsdale, and, as a result, they have il is
said, expressed a willingness to make of
the Anacostia street horse-car line a first
class rapid transit road, and operate the
same by mea rs of their compressed air mo-
tors.
pany is so vel! satisfied that their proposed
venture will prove financial success that
they have stated their willingness to pro-
vide all the funds necessary to make the
to take first mortgage on the road as
their security.
1t can be stated that President Grswold
of the Washington and Anacc sta Railway
Company has not by any means abandoned
the idea of getting rapid transit substituted
for horses on his line. and for months past
he has been carefully but energetically in
vestigating the claims of various inventors
as to the ability of their machines to make
ct RS go by other means than cable or cleo
trical propulsion, and that as soon as he
becomes convinced that he can install that
system which is most suitable in every re-
spect for his line he Will do so.
Meanwhile Mr.. A. E. Randle who, at the
last session of Congress. succeeded, with
the aid of the Citizens Association of Ana
costa and others, in getting bill through
roth houses, and which was later signed by
the President. giving company of which
he is the head the right to build a rapid
transit line between Congress Heights and
Washington via Anacostia, WILL ii is un-
cerstood, take such steps as may seem to
him necessary to preserve the privileges
granted ia the charter 10 his company The
cause for the delay in commencing opera
tons In the construction of the road as was
planned by Mr. Randle is said to be owing
to the hard times recently prevailing which
has also served to great extent in keeping
President Griswod from securing the
necessary new capital to make his plans
Tor improving the road effective.
Evening star., 1896-12-09
He Was DisOrdcrly,

Patrick Rafferty, was disorderly last night
on NJ street. disturbing the peace and quiet
Of the neighborhood to such an extent that
the policeman on the beat found IT neces-
sary to place him under arrest.
Il was very drunk. 1 don't know said
Rafferty, to Judge Kimball today in the
Police Court. L met an old friend, who !
had not seen for five years, and we had a
drink together"
Yes" remarked the court. II suppose
you had several drinks
That's right, your homer" concurred
Rafferty,. I'VE had several drinks, and
fir ally lost my memory. I had no intention
Of acting in a disorderly manner"
Several policemen spoke a good word for
RAN erty and he was released on his per-
sGnal bonds.
Evening star., 1896-12-09
DANGER i'm SODA.
SERIOUS RESULTS SOMETIMES FOLLOW IT'S
EXCESSIVE USE.

Common soda is all right in its place and in
dispensable in the kitchen and for cooking and
washing purposes but 1t never intended for
q medicine, and people wh3 1t as such Will
come day regret 1t.
we refer 10 the common use OF soda to relieve
heartburn Or sour stomach habit which thOu-
sands Of people practice almost daily, and one
Which is fraught with danger; moreover, the SOFA
only gives temporary relief and in the end the
stomach trouble gets worse and worse.
Ihe soda acts as mechanical irritalt to the
walls OF tile stomach and bowels, and are on
record where II umulated in the intestt.es,
cansinS death by fnllnimat tOn peritOnitis.
Dr. Harlanlson recommends the safest and
surest cure for sour stomach tacid dyspepsia) an
name of stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets. These tab
taste and contain the natural acids, peptOnes and
when taken after meals they digest the food per-
fectlt and promptly before II has time ferment,
sour and poison the blood and nervous system.
DIR. Wuerth states that he invariably uses
Stuarts Dyspepsia Tablets In all of stomach
arrangements and finds them a certain cure not
only for sour stomach, but by promptly digcsting
the food they create healthy appetite, increase
flesh and strengthen the action OF the heart and
liver. They are not cathartic, but intended only
for stomach diseases and weakness and will be
found reliable In any stomach trouble except
of the stomach.
All druggists sell Stuarts Dyspepsia Tablets at
80 cts per package.
little book describing al forms Of stomach
weakness End their mailed free by addressing
the Stuart Co. OF Marshall, Mich. dc9&12-2t