Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-09-11
Goldbug Humor.

The Oregoniam can be funny at
times, as well as profoundly dogmatic.
Some evidence OF this is afforded in a
late article on National Independ-
ence," in which an effort is made to
overwhelm the silver party with rid
icule for its opposition to the rule of
British gold" in the monetary mat
ters of this country.
That journal maintains that TO be
consistent We should discard our forms
OF jurisprudence because they are
borrowed largely from English common
law; that we should reject the English
system OF weights and measures, and,
indeed, even the expressive mother
tongue, although its scope and power
OF expression is so palpably essential
at times to curse goldbugs, for the
same reason-to be consistent.
And here comes in the Oregonian's
CLEAN of humor. 1t suggests sub
stitution OF the classic Chinook jargon
for the English vocabulary by the Silver
party, to be entirely consistent with its
rejection of the English financial
standard. The incongruity of the
subjects does not seem to have &C.
CURED to our ponderous contemporary
1t atfirms that the tracy patois" of the
aboriginal tongue would be an admir-.
able vehicle for expression of the ideas
of those who would free themselves
from British rule; and it rolls thi,
morsel of pleasantly about its tongue
through half column of biting sar.
casm" Gas A. Ward would call iD ant
then bursts forth in brilliant rOdUm
ontate over suggestion that as Chins
is the most populous OF silver coun
tries, the language of that empire
might "ofler advantages in the strug
gle to rid ourselves of English domino
tion."
Well, we'll; it is indeed diverting t
see a fat boy assume the role of I
gymnast, or philosopher the part o
a clown. But apart from the gro
tesque wit of the big Republican organ
the parallel is faulty in several partic
ulars, and the principal of these is tina
our people have derived nothing bu
benefit from a retention Of certain
forms and customs of the Old Coun
try, and it must be borne in mind tina
we have amended and improved sucl
as we have adopted. The Englisl
code of laws may be as perfect a
English experience and brains cal
make it, but we find the necessity @
statutory provisions of our own to ex
tend and make it serve the purpose o
enlightened civilization. The weight
and measures of our forefathers ma
suit a non-progressive nation, wher
the "imperial bushel" still holds rega
sway along with 6, shillings and penc
sterling, but we have found a bette
standard for grain measurement, an
the admirable decimal system TO
money computations that is OF az
knowledged superiority for simplicity
ease and accuracy in practical adapts
ton.
So there seems to be very little fore
in the suggestion of our ponderou
Portland neighbor that We have dont
or that it is advisable to do, as Englan
suggests by example. The people hav
had enough of gold rule, inaugurate
by the principal creditor natio
through its moneyed syndicate O.
Lombard and Wall streets, by instrr
mentality of the Republican party
when Secretary Of the Treasury Foste
yielded his option of payment {
treasury notes in gold or silver to tn
bond barons, a course that was sus
tanned by the traitor to his party an
the people who followed him-Grove
Cleveland, through his Secretary, NJ
Carlisle. They do not propose this
the exercise OF such extraordinary dil
eliminating power, which renders bon
issues necessary to maintain the gol
reserve, shall be perpetuated by Mar
Hanna through the election OF h
man Friday. They have felt too muc
of its baleful influence on business il
terests of the country to tolerate tt
dictation OF monetary policy thu
delivers the results OF labor into II
grip OF the goldbugs, that creates
nation Of serfs and places them undo
control OF the autocrats who cOur
their wealth by the tens and hundred
of millions, while Labor sits idle at IL
door of Luxury.
The Good Book says: "If tn
right eye offend thee, pluck it out an
cast it iuom thee" and as If to emph;
size the duty OF rejecting evil iutil