The San Francisco call., 1896-06-21
How IT FEELS TO
Be A LADY BURGLAR.
Some of the Tribulations of an
Unpleasant Calling.
The Horrible Uncertainty in Search.
ing the Pockets of Man
Who Is Married.

EYES," said the lady burglar, as she ran
dainty gold-tipped jimmy through her
back hair and toved idly with dark lam
tern, sit was somewhat of an innovation,
L confess, and rather pride myself that
am the first real lady who has ever made
serious study of the science of burglary.
Other ladies have tried it, but it was
mere heeting fad, like roller-skating and
hoopskirts. They never took up the call
Ing IN earnest. and l believe | am correct
IN nv assertion that 1 am positively the
only lady who has adopted the profession
as means of livelihood.
"How did happen to enter it? No.
don't say what was the first misstep. That
is mere sentimental eush. There was
no misstep. / took up burglary deliber-
ately, and, if may say it, with malice
aforethought. All the legitimate profess
sions were overcrowded, and I was far too
proud to ever think of becoming house
maid or waitress in one of those quick
and dirty lunch places. And there was no
money in typewriting.
"Once"-and the lady burglar laughed
merry, reminiscent laugh-"I ber
entering gentleman's house by way OF
the second story window-he was per-
sonal friend of miEe.
ooh, no; 1 never let such trifes stand in
the way of business: in fact, if / am not
much mistaken, he was an old sweetheart
or something on that order. Well, was
just gazing in the glass to see If my hat
was on straight preparatory to going
through his jeans and what other articles
of furniture he had. when he awoke with
violent, 10, 20 and 30 per cent popular
price start.
MY Gawd, Mag, is it your he eiacu-
lated in low, sad voice, what are you do
ing here at such an hour. Think of what
the neighbors will sayp
~ am here to rob- replied, in hard
boiled Barbary Coast voice. He seemed
surprised, but contained himself with re-
markable self-possession. If you will
promise to go home and shed those bloom
ers forever you can have anything I have
got and he gave me the key to his wife's
bureau drawer on the spot.
"Yes. have found that, as rule, men
are gallant. / always make it point to
disturb them as little as possible. but
whenever | do arouse them they receive
me in courteous and kindly manner. l
recall an instance of my early days, when
| was little better than second-story
novice. / had entered a bachelors apart
ment and was hastily separating the wheat
from his unpaid bills, when he unexpect-
edly opened his eyes and gazed long and
earnestly at me.
"'Do you find anything that strikes
your fancy?' he asked in gentlemanly
way.
"'Nothing, replied, that will enable
me to live in ease and luxury
"'Well,' he answered, 'in that lower
drawer you will find a pair OF pink-silk
paiamas. If you will be so good as to take
them, think you can use them when
your bloomers have gone into drydock.'
"Oh, no; l was not offended. We lady
burglars have to put up with great deal of
risque remarks, and besides the pajamas,
found, made excellent shirt waists for the
seaside.
Would I recommend other young
women to follow ir. my footsteps2 No, not
unless they were willing to put up with all
manner of Unconventional things. Some
times almost envy Billie Fly, little Davys
Dare Devil and those other ladies who
hang by their toes from eighteen-s tory
buildings at 81 column.
''It is great deal more genteel than to 60
through pair OF gentleman's trousers
with the horrid dread in your heart that
his wife has already been through Them"