The San Francisco call., 1896-03-28

and pack up and we will go st once, for We have
SIS, 900 and
Mrs. PA lottery ticket.
(Curtain.)
SCENE II.
Fifth avenue, New York. Mr.. and Mrs. Pump
kinhead looking at the buildings.
Mrs. P.-I feel very hungry after our long
Journey wish 1 could get something to eat
Mr.. P.-There is a restaurant right down the
street. and 1 think you can get turkey dinner
for 10 cents.
Mrs. P-Won't you come, too?
MrIP.-No, will be on this spot when you
return.
Mrs P.-Mind you do.
(Mrs Pumpkinhead goes away
Mr.. P.-Now for good time! am all alone,
and won't have a jolly old time!
Just then Mr.. P. is stopped by the bunko
steerer).
Bunko Steerer (shaking hands with Mr..
Pumpkinhead)-How are you, old man? 1
haven't see you for an age-how are the folks
at home? Glad to see you.
Mr.. P (pleased TO meet an old friend)-I
have most forgotten you. How are you?
B. Scot any money with you, old friend?
Mr. P.-Haye I? You bet have. 1 have got
$4,000
B. S.-Where do you keep it :?
Mr.. P.-NODOQy KNOWS. IL stCleI' keep
it in my hoe.
B. S.-Say, do you like girls2
Mr.. P.-DoI? You bet do.
B. S-Come along with me, then, and will
take yo to see some.
Mr.. P. and Buncosteerer start off, when po-
lice officer sees the B. s. and he runs to catch
him, and the B. S. runs and leaves NIP.
Police officer to Mr.. P.-What are you doing
with that man?
Mr.. P.-He's my friend, and was going with
him TO see some gals.
P. O.-Do you know what he isl
Mr.. Pho.
P Ole is a buneo-steerer.
Mr.. P.-And what's that?
P Ole would cheat you out Of all your
money.
Mr.. P.-Would he?
P. O.-That's what he would. Say, have you
got any money?
Mr.. P.-HaveI? have $4,000, and keep
il in my SHOE
P O.-Say, old man, come down and dine
with me?
Mr. P.-All right; don't care If do.
Mr.. P. and police officer start OF with Mrs. P.
chasing them.
[Curtainl.
SCENE 3.
Mr.. Vanderbilfs residence. Enter Mr.. and
Mrs. Pumpkinhead. Remark-The home OF
the Vanderbilts was insane asylum when
the Pumpkinheads were there forty years ago.)
Mrs. PUN pkinhead, seeing q boy, THINKS ne
is crazy, and he and Mrs. r are almost fright
ened to death.
Nj P. to Mrs. P.-We must be nice to him or
he might hurt US.
MIR. P.-Say, johnnie
Boy-My name isn't Johnnie; it is Sam
Vanderbilt.
Mr. P.-How are you, Sammie? We are your
cousins from Squashville, and we thought we
would come and visit you.
SAM am very glad you have come. (Aside)
Only am not.
MrP.-Did you speak, Sammie
Sam-No.
Sam to himself-I guess I will put up Job
on these hayseeds.
Sammie to Mr.. P.-I want to tell you that my
papa is a little crazy and you had better run
when he says, 'Too late. too late.''
Mrs P.-We will. guess Mr.. P. and will 60
to our room now.
Mr. and Mrs. P. leave the room.
Enter Mr.. Vanderpilt-Who have you been
talking to, Sam?
Sam-To your cousins from Squashville.
And, papa. they are crazy.
Mr.. V.-What? Crazy people in my house?
Sam-Yes, and when they come in the room
you naQ DeIter say, 100 late, 100 late, ana
that will quiet them.
Mr.. Vail right, will.
Enter Mr. and Mrs. P, and on seeing Mr. V.
are very much frightened.
Mr.. VI am pleased to meet you.
Mr.. and Mrs. P.-He's crazy.
Mr.. ", thinking it time to say "Too late,r
does so and there is great row.
Just then Sammie enters and ex plains 10 his
father.
Mr.. V. to Sam-You have been very naughty
to play such a trick on your cousins and father
and now think you can go to bed.
Sam leaves the room and Mr.. Y. and his
cousins shake hands and all is over. (Curtain.)
In addition to the comedy, there will be
presented this afternoon the following
programme:
Piano solo, CANCELS Serenade," Miss Helen
Entzmann; vocal solo, "Dora Dean," Miss Mary
Linderman; recitation, selected, Miss Belle
McCurrie; vocal solo, selected, Master Clar-
ence Oliver; club swinging, Miss Reta Mylotte;
song, "Ben Bolt,' "Little Gladys Lewis;
Helen Entzmann, Miss Charlotte Clark,
Miss Ruth Sheldon, Miss Mary Linderman,
Master Leland Ramsdeli, Master Herbert Clark,
Master Herbert Harbourn, Master Clarence
oliver; vocal solo, Little Doris" Miss Ruth
Sheldon; song and dance, "Coming Thro'
the Rye" Misses Eileen and Sylvia McCurrie;
"Three Old Jays" Herbert Clark, Leland
Ramsdell. Clarence Oliver; piano solo, Polish
Dance" Miss Helen Entzmann.
The admission prices are from 10 to 25
cents, and it is expected that Armory Hall
will be thronged.