davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1896-06-19

Mabel (who has been taking part i,
amateur theatricals)-Oh, I am
tired had to stand all the evening!
Marie (who was in the audience)-M.
dear, you have not had to stand nearl:
as much as we haye.-Pick Me Up.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1896-06-19
Disappointed.

! Landlady-If you don't pay by to
night, you must leave. can't stane
this any longer.
Student-Calm yourself. will writ.
to a friend Immediately.
Landlady-Will he lend you money?
Student-Oh, no, but I think he ha.
q vacant room !-Buch fur ALE.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
PERSONAL AND lMPERsoNAL.

The once famous Louisa Payne,
who was one of England's favori,e op-
cratic and oratorio singers, is suffering
in great poverty. Lady Burdett-(rutts.
Sir Arthur Sullivan and Mr.. Charles
Stanley have Joined in an appeal for
money. 9F
John Wanamaker Is credited with
having done more than any othe. per-
son to bring about the settlement OF
the great trolley strike in Philadrl-
phia. He has enormous influence
among the workingmen, and. though
nm extensive employer of labor, LIE has
never had strike.
| Among illustrious pcrsonages with
queer fads must be numbered FrincC
Luitpold, of Bavaria. His collection of
beetles is the most extensive and com
plete in the world, and the prince is u
Ekillful entomologist, deeply versed in
the habits of ants, bees, moths, flies
farwigs, and all creatures that creep
and crawl and wriggle.
President Kruger, OF the Trans
yaal republic, has been a rema1 kablc
man physically. 1t is said OF him that
in his youth he could run for half day
and keep pace with a horse. Now at
:he age of 10, he shows little sign of
having lost any of his physical or mep-
tai vigor. He is a rough, uncouth, opin-
donated man, but possesses the cruder
qualities of statesman.
Mrs. Mckinley, whose husband has
Just retired from the governors!,ip OF
Ohio, recalls the fact that during the
term of President Hayes she and her
husband occupied the white house TO-
ten days by invitation to keep house"
there while the president and his fam
lily were absent. She says she had all
of the white house she ever cared for.
having had "all it's pleasures with none
OF it's woes"
Douglas Jerrold was sometimes
witty at the expense of his wife. He
once told her, when she was no longer
young, that he wished wives were like
tank notes, SO that one of 40 could be
! exchanged for two of 20. On another
/ occasion he was asked whom his wife
was dancing with: ''Some member OF
the Humane society, suppose" he re-
piled.
"A. Kruger, of Phoenixville, Pa, a
cousin of President Kruger, of the
Iransvaal republic, denies the story
! that Paul Kruger or his parents eves
lived in America. The presidents
parents he says, were born and lived
all their lives q few miles from The
| Hague, in Holland, never having been
outside their native country. Their
son, who is now president of the South
African republic, left Holland about so
years ago, when boy, and went direco
! to South Africa, where he has since
lived
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
Going to California?

Then you are interested in knowing
1st. What line will get you there seven
hours quicker than any others
I'd. What line operates Phillips Celebrated
Tourist Car Excursions!
3d. What line has been in the business
longest and is most populara
4th. That all other Tourist Car lines are
imltators.
5th. What line offers you choice of routes,
Cars leaving st. Paul or Minneapolis on
Thursdays at p. M, via Omaha, Denver
and Salt Lake-the great Scenic Route.
9th. What line uses Pullman Tourist Cars
that are completely furnished with carpets
in the aisles, upholstered seats, clean linen
and blankets for berths, cooking ranges in
separate compartment, gentlemanly con-
ductors and careful portersl
18th. What line accepts second class tick
cts, and only charges $500 for double berth
clear through!
The agents of the MINNEAPoLIs & ST..
LOUIS RAILROAD Co. will cheerfully and
truthfully answer any of these questions,
or you can address A. B. CUTS, Mime
apolis, Mimi.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

to scan it's columns. Some one had
thrown away a letter; he picks that up
and becomes interested. Some careless
trooper has left lariat here in the
grass. He secures it, walks about for
a few minutes and then mounts to re-
Join the column. 1t is travelling north
west 1t will now be about eight miles
ahead of him. 1t must bear to the left
after crossing Comanche creek. He
will, therefore, take a short cut and
save time and trouble.
Now follow the cavalryman and yOn
will witness curious thing. He rides
away humming the air of merry tune,
and he las not an anxious thought
He passes ridge after ridge, covers mile
after mile, and SO sure he is of his way
that he scarcely looks up. All of sud-
den the. horse Stacks down. He has
been taking the ridges at too fast a
pace and is out of breath. a minute
later he Is pulled up sharp and Trooper
johnson looks about him with anxious
eyes. What is it? Nothing. He has
Only to keep on and he will intercept
the column. He has only to ride back
over his trail and strike the plain road
left by the wagons. 1t is only nine
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
A New Test of Character.

Palmistry is all the craze in New
York, but III Germany another mode of
discovering mans peculiarities is
very much in vogue. In Berlin, not
long since, fashionable young man
called on "a wealthy banker and formal
ly asked the hand of his daughter.
my young friend, ! am well posted as
TO your financial status, and am salts
fed in that regard; but l wish to ascer-
tain if you are of such lovable dispo-
sition that my daughters happiness is
safe in your hands. Remove your
clothing, if you please. l wish to ex-
anime your liyer."-Texas Siftings
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
LITTLE NONSENSE.

Docs Scribbles write many
-Stories?" "Well should say so; he has
to use an incubator to hatch his plots.
Chicago Record.
-"I don'11 mind getting caught" said
the fox, bitterly. What grinds me is
that they set this trap for rabbit
Chicago Tribune.
The Chicago-"And do you find the
water here so very bad?" The Else
where-"Oh, no. With salad dressin:
1t is not at all bad. Detroit Tribune.
-"How is your daughter getting or
with the piano, Numson?" "First-rate.
She can play with both hands now
She says she will be able to play with
her ear in six months. Household
Words.
Its all right, we suppose, to Sc.
that man is homely enough to stop a
train, but he'll find he's not homely
enough to stop it if he has arrived at
the station minute after it has started
-Yonkers Statesman.
-Mother-"I hear that the lieutenant
had the impudence t. kiss you at the
station. What did you DOR Daughter
-"Oh, think l kissed him, too, SO al
10 make people think we were rela
tives."-Flicgende Blaetter.
-He-"Why do you like the Wag-
merriam operas so much better than those
Of the Italian school?" She-"Oh.
Wagner operas make so much noise
that you can talk all you like through
the performance, and nobody can hea
you."-Somerville journal.
MIR. BLISS is such nice young
man." said the elderly aunt. That's
nj you know about it, said the young
niece; ''he is nothing of the sort. He
is just the jolliest company imagin-
able" -Indianapolis Journal.
An old Highland sergeant in one OF
The Scottish regiments was going his
:ounds one night to see that. all tn
lights were out in the barrack-rooms
Coming to a room where he thought he
saw light shining, he roared out
Put cot that light, there" One of the
rnen shouted back: Its the inune, ser
geant!" Not hearing very well. the ser
geant cried, in return: ~ dinna care
Jacket what it is. Fut it OUTFIT
Bits.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
BEN FRANKLiN's BIG HEAD.
How He Wore His Wig in His Pocket q
the French Court.

How He Wore His Wig in His Pocket st
the French Court. E%
The difficulties encountered recently
by the lineal descendants of that great
man, statesman, patriot and verything
else that men properly hold in estima-
ton = Benjamin Franklin - in having
themselves enrolled among the Colonial
Danes, recall an anecdote of him. says
the Washington Post, embalmed in
the family records of the sage of Mon
ticello, but which, so far as the writer
knows, has never been published. When
about to present himself for the first
time at the court of Versailles he was
informed by the master of ceremonies
that wig was a sine qua non. Now,
his head was SO large that no ordinary
wig would begin to fit it. and the stu
alton was embarrassing in the extreme.
However, one was found sufficiently
large to pass him through the ante
chambers, after which he was permit
ted to remove the ridiculous conven-
tional appendage and place it in his
ample pocket. whence it never again
emerged to public gaze 1ast slse.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

clock in the morning, and the sky IS
without a cloud.
Curious, isn't;it? The trooper stands
up in his stirrups to look ahead; there
is more than anxiety in his eyes as he
turns and looks back. He glances to
the right-to the left-up at the sun.
All of sudden, as he rode gayly on, the
terrible loneliness of the great plains
struck him like chill. What if he
should lose his way! What if he had
already lost it! That is enough. He
has let doubt creep in, and five min
utes later that curious palsy of the
plains begins to creep over him. 1t
has claimed its hundreds, and all have
been brave men.
He will ride on. He smiles at his
fcarsLhe seeks to shake off that feel
ing of terror which makes his cheeks
grow pale. There is no cause for haste,
but he shuts his teeth together and
gives his horse the spur and pushes OH
as if riding race. See! He bears to the
right! Let man become ratified in
the forest or on the plains and he in
variably bears to the right and thus
hastens the disaster.
When the horse falls from ex-
haustion Trooper johnson is 25 miles
from the command. 1t does not occur
to him that he will be searched for and
that his trail can be followed. He now
feels sure that he is lost, and he cannot
reason. a veteran of three Indian cant
paigns-a soldier known to be without
fear-a man in the prime of life. And
yet his face is as white as dead mans
and he trembles like woman-ayel
weeps like a child!
One, two, three days go by. Trooper
Johnson is favorite with all. Every
man is anxious that he be found. We
go into camp and send out squads to the
four points of the compass. One OF
them strikes the trail and finds the dead
horse. Another, returning in the gloom
of evening, starts up strange animal
which runs away, uttering strange
sounds like human laughter. On the
morning of the fourth day the lost man
is discovered as he sleeps. He is naked ;
he is bleeding and torn; there is some
thing so wild and beast-like in his looks
that we shrink away from him. He is
| not glad to see us. We call him by
name, but he does not remember us.
We pity him, but he laughs and gibbers
HE will soon be himself again." says
the colonel, as he turns away from the
poor wretch we have brought into camp
at last.
HE will never be himself again.
solemnly replies the regimcntal sur
geon, who happened to be journeying
with US. lie has lost his wits-be-
come an idiot! 1t was the terror OF
lonesomeness that did it," Detroit
Free Press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

Time and again the men have been eau
toned to be careful and leave nothing
behind them in camp, but the soldier,
though human machine, is not a per-
feet one. AS we hurry onward and
have put several miles between us and
the late camp, Trooper johnson sud
denly misses his knife and remembers
that he left it on the ground after using
it to cut strap. The captain gives him
permission to ride back after it. Why
not? 1t is but dash, and we are at
peace with the Indians. He will over
take us within the hour.
Trooper Johnson is brawny man
and a veteran. The arrow and bullet
wounds received prove him a fighter.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
AMBULANCE ON WATER. !
Steam Launch Added to the London Hos
pital Service. rrses.ss- ~

Steam Launch Added to the London Hog
pital Service. seFesas..ss.'.s
The managers of the Metropolitan
asylums board, London, have just
passed upon plans for an ambulance
launch for river service. Her dimen-
sions, says the Philadelphia Record. are
as follows: Length between perpen-
diculars, 60 feet; breadth. IL feet 6
inches; depth, four feet; draught of
water when fully equipped, two feet
eight inches. The hull is built of Sic
mens-Martin mild steel throughout to
board of trade requirements for passen-
ger certificate. She is built in five COM
partlnents. In the fore pat of the yes
sci is q cabin for the accommodation of
the staff and for visitors proceeding to
visit patients in the hospital ships In
Long Reach, hartford, and is capable of
accommodating about 20 persons. In
the after part there is cabin fitted up
as a hospital, with four berths--two be-
ing fixed and two portabie--and with all
the necessary requirements for carry
ing four recumbent patients. Both of
these cabins are heated with steam and
are provided with suitable skylights
and all the necessary fittings for boat
of it's class.
The machinery is fixed amidships and
is of the triple-expansion type, with sur
face condenser, and capable of driving
the vessel at speed of ten knots. A
water-tight trimming tank is built at
the fore end of the vessel of sufficient
capacity that when filed with water it
will bring the vessel to an even keel OF
two feet eight inches.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
THE GIRL FOR A WIFE.

You may talk of the girls who are brilliant
and gay,
And dress in a snowy, eye-capturing way,
And are with accomplishments, knowledge
and art y
Considered progressive and awfully
smart.
You may be to these girls a most humble
gallant, A
And. awed by their beauty, beseech them
to grant
Their hand in a waltz or their company
fine
At opera parties to help you to shine.
You may firt with these dainty society
queens,
And hover around them in festival scenes
But when you are seeking helpmate for
life es
You wisely prefer some one else fol your
wife.
The little home-body, so modest and shy,
Who hasn't the beauty that captures the
eye,
And isn't with new woman" notions too
smart
She's the one you select for the wife of your
heart #fGk tJ Ha
The patient. plain-faced, little. home-lov-
ing maid,
So gentle in voice. and who isn't afraid
Or ashamed to help mother. downstairs or
She's the one for wife and lifetime of
love. h~fT.
The sweet little motherly maid, who be-.
Kind words to old people and cheerfully
Small brothers and sisters affection and
aid
She's the sort out Of which wifely treasures
are made.
The pre-minded. innocent maid. who be-
ieves Et
All people are, good and that no one de-
ceives
And feels. o. so sorry! for those in dis
She's the one for a wife you will worship
and bless.
ways,
Who loves to cook dinners husband will
praise,
And who both the parlor and kitchen can
She's the one for wife to adore and en-
brace.
The sweet-tempered maid, ever thoughtful
and brave,
Who'll love you in trouble and help you to
save, tags
And whose good advice you will prize for
it's worth
She's the one who can make you heaven
on earth.
o. yes! You may talk of the girls who ex-
eel
In beauty and wit and your homage COM
pei
But when,,it's wife you are after. you
know, $50 -
You don't want girl that is strictly for
show.
III. C. Dodge. in Chicago Sun.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
Purify
Your Blood

Now, as when warmer weather comes and
the tonic effect of cold bracing air is
gone, your weak, thin, impure blood
will not furnish necessary strength.
That tired feeling, loss of appetite, will
open the way for serious disease, ruined
health, or breaking out Of humors and
impurities. To make pure, rich, red
blood Hoods Sarsaparilla stands I'M
equalled. Thousands testify to its
merits. Millions take it as their
Spring Medicine. Get Hoods, because
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

Men of his company will tell you of see
ing him imperil his life a dozen times
over. and they can count up at least
seven redskins he has wiped out. A
grand-looking soldier is Trooper John
son--every inch man. Your eye
would pick him out of regiment for
his bearing, and when you had looked
into his bronzed face you would put
him down as game to the death.
The trooper rides back at an easy
1ope. In half an hour he is at the camp.
There are dozen gaunt wolves prowl-
ing about and munching at the bones.
end they grudgingly give way for him
az he rides up. Yes, the knife is there.
and he quickly secures it. A newspa-
per has been thrown out of one of the
wagons. He picks it up and sits down
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
Spring
edicine

Your blood in Spring is almost certain to
be full Of impurities-the accumulation
of the winter months. Bad ventilation
of sleeping rooms, impure air in dwell
ings, factories and shops, over-eating,
heavy, improper foods, failure of the
kidneys and liver properly to do extra.
work thus thrust upon them, are the
prime causes of this condition. 1t is of
the utmost Importance that you
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
An Axiom That Works One WAY.

"What have you to say?" asked the
lecturer i'll moral philosophy, "of the
axiom that the early bird catches the
worm, as bearing on the benefits to
be derived from rising with the sun 2"
my views as to the value of the axiom
will be sufficiently indicated, sir" an
swered the student, when l venture
to reiaind you that the early worn,
got it in the neck Buffalo Courier.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
Don't Be Too Late for the Steamer,

And don't omit when you are packing up
your effects preparatory for the voyage, to
Stomach Bitters, the great rem edy for sea
sickness Travellers for pleasure or bust
ness seeking foreign climes, or who loco
mote by steamb boat or train, besides yacht
men and mariners, testify to the remedial
and preventive efficacy of the Bitters, which
pepsia, biliousness, rheumatism, nervous
and kidney trouble.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
Heart of the Park Region.

Persons looking for locations in the most
beautiful diversified part of Minnesota are
invited to write to the undersigned for in
formation about improved farms, wild
lands, timber lands and stock ranches.
Douglas county is noted for its charming
lakes, forest groves and fertile soil. You
will find schools, churches, markets and
good neighbors. Lands on terms to suit
purchaser. Address w. E. Chidester,
Alexandria, MINI.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
When Travelling,

on every trip bottle of Syrup of Figs, as it
acts most pleasantly and effectually on the
kidneys, liver, and bowels, preventing fe-
vers, headaches, and other forms of sick.
ness. For sale in so cent and 81 bottles by
all leading druggists. Manufactured by the
California Fig Syrup Company only.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11
LOST ON THE PLAINS.
BY PENALEON.

ALT AN HOUR
after sunrise we
have broken camp
and are riding
over the plains at
a brisk walk, while
the siX-mule teams
attached to the
loaded army. .wag-
ons settle down. to
- cfooIx, notf
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

WE are commonly taught our duty by
fear or shame, but how can they act upon q
man who hears nothing but his own praises
Johnson. --..--L -
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

& Only the three highest classes of
animals have what may properly be
called a nose. All the rest have simply
breathing and smelling apparatus.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

FIRST BURGLAR-"Now mind yer, Bill, no
murder Second Burglar-"Why not!'
First Burglar-"lt's SIGH reflection on yer
sanity Truth.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

The Semitic nose is not, as general
ly supposed, peculiar to Hebrews. The
same type of lose is possessed by sew
eral nations of the orient.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-03-11

Annals it an interesting story?" Daisy
Extremely interesting! l don't think l
skipped ~ pages."-Tit-Bits.
Birmingham state herald., 1896-12-13
UNITED CHARITIES.
Mrs. Thomas Wards Name Has Been Suggested for President-Her Quiet Charity Work Has Not Gone
 Unnoticed.

lady suggests that Mrs. Ward, wife of Capt Thomas Ward, general man. ager of the Birmingham rolling mill, would make most excellent president of the United Charities. Mrs. Ward is very philanthropic, is much given to charitable work In a quiet way, and has fine executive ability. By assuming the management of the United Charities she might systematize her private benevo- lence and extend her sphere of useful ness. She has wide circle of friends who would give her their active assit- ance. The president of the United Char ities should be a good organizer and have the knack of making others attend to details while she held a general super intendence over all. There should be a treasurer, whose duty it would be to keep a strict account of disbursements and pay out money on warrants. The city should be divided into districts and each district placed in charge of a mem Der of the United Charities who would report all needy cases in her district By thus systematizing the work 1t would not bear to heavily on any one person.
Birmingham state herald., 1896-12-13
GREEN HOUSES.
MT. Lindsey and Others Make Liberal Proposition to the City to Take Care
 of the Parks.

At the recent meeting of the board of ciates made a proposition to the city to take charge of the three parks, the city granting them the privilege of erect ing in one of the parks green for commercial purposes, the city to furnish water, etc., necessary for the parks. The parties propose to take entire control of planting, replaDting and caring for the park in which the greenhouses are To- cated, furnishing all the trees, shrubbery and plants necessary to replace those now missing, as well as furnish every thing necessary to plant the other two parks the labor for the latter to be done by the city convicts under the supervi- sion of MT. Lindsey or some other compe- tent superintendent, without cost to the city.
 It has been suggested that the better plan is for the city to ask for proposi- tions from others competent to take charge of this work which has been agreed to.
 The park committee, meets Tuesday, and the board of aldermen Wednesday night. at which time the park committee will report on the proposition of MT. Lindsey and associates and on any oth- CTS that may be made.
 The city parks have been greatly neg lected for several years, and proposi- tion of the above nature at this partic- ular time certainly seems reasonable.
 Nearly all large cities own green houses costing thousands of dollars, in which plants for ornamentation and for replanting the parks are preserved under the supervision of the park superintend- ent at large salaries.