The sun., 1896-06-21
SAWMILL ROADS SORROW.
CAUSED BY THE MARoH OF PROG
RRss IN GREATER NEW YORK.

Hntlowny's soprano Heifer, Sam Tia.
EIe's Iron-hended Goat. and Jiu, Jumps
Lantern Bnts AmonE tho Sacrinces.
"Naow thet we're Gretter Moo York aout by
sawmill Road" observed tho old man, address
ing his remarks to anybody who might choose
to answer them, II s'pose everything thet we
useter hev some nat'ral pride in 'ull be did away
with"
He was occupying half of q cross seat in the
suburban train, and his boots were occupying
half of tho opposite seat. Nobody seemed in
clined to fall into conversation with him on tho
strength OF his observation, 30 he turned to q
spectacled individual who was squeezed in
tightly between him and tho window, with the
evident intent Of making him the objective
point of his remarks.
BE you from out Sawmill Road wayi" ho
asked.
mo; lin not from there" said he Of tho
glasses, turning from . contemplation Of the
Landscape. in fact. don't believe know
where II Is"
"Gush sakes." said tho granger, observing
him in amazemont ~ thought every buddy
raound these parts knew all abaout Sawmill
Road thot was. It's Grctter Moo York now,
some time past, an this 10 my frst visit TO tho
city eence como to be q Moo Yorker. I'm
comm In to see Of somethn' can't be did to pur-
sorve our natral curiosities from bein over
wholmed In the rush of improvements conse-
kont onto our bein' part of q motrollopis.
Maybe you know somethin' of nat'ral curios-
ities. an II you do, likoly's not you've heard of
our'n out Sawmill Road way, even Of you don't
know whore It is."
why, I've made something of study of na-
ture," said tho other. with some hesitation. I'm
fact, I'm professor in q scientific institution"
"Gush sakes! A perfessor2 Wull you must
han orA Of IoIlo x,,o half
No; don't believe have" said the profess
sor. with reluctance.
"Haint2 Nur of Lem saunders's double
action speckled hen2"
In sad admission of his ignorance the man
with the spectacles shook his head.
Don't tell me you amt acquainted with the
wonderful doin's OF sam Tinglc's iron ad ed
goat. Nor Nur OF Jim Jumps pct will-o the
wlsps2 Wull, swumi Don't learn you every
thing in them collcGes do thcy2 can toll you
some things thet 'ull s'prise you Of you're In
terested in nat'ral curiositics. Why, Sawmill
Road was just ono big family menegerie till the
march of science an tho progress of dees
an all them Rush.dern sort o. things struck It.
Los see; it's nigh year now sence Lem
Saunders's hon went TO a better land. Yes. she
was q victim to the advance of the world. thet
hen was. She was a dou BILE action hen; useter
lay eggs with two yokes, which Is q mighty rare
trick with hens"
II should think So" agreed tho professor, as
his informant paused as il for comment.
"All the folks that ever seen her thought So
A dime museum feler tried to buy her Of Lem
would warrant her to lay o double yoker once
day. but Lem he wouldn't do no such thing
Said he didn't know but maybe she wouldn't
lay any thing Of she was took AWAY from home
associations an such. So she kept on layin'
49,.
whenever he found one, which he did by crackin'
it open. Lend have It fried n put it under
glass fer q show. Then he got lookin' for 'em
through brown paper cone you see into
an egg that way. an when he found double
he set that hen onto it. Sure enough. 1t Matched
out into q double chicken-two heads. four legs
but only two wings. One day. after them twins
was old enough to run around fightn' fer scrarc
they got into the kitchen one day, an one OF tho
help dropped knife onto 'em accidentally an
cut 'em in two. You'd hardly believe it, but
YOU surprise me!" Exclaimed exc I ne IMM the Professor
1T s'prlsed tho hen." said tho old granger.
ses to-
fate come soon after One day feller como
ou, there se or an Psr1qadd Lem
chickens. Ali this time the dou action hen
at family he'd
turned out few double yokers. But ono day
she got into the place where thet incnb bator was
kept an by bad luck seen thirty-eight chicks
come p!lin' out OF it. She give cluck of grief
an went reeliI' out into the back yard. where
up an brought her to an she began scratchin'
In the dirt in queer way. EN-, he looked at
She Sif dsdn ss by
sSsry day ia tafq her nineteen days work.
chickens as thet machine did in one day. She
was proud thet hen. an next day Lem found
bush in his garden. She had emitted suicide"
Wonderful" calculated the professor.
an sa5 h o. a d Halle
The progress Of civilization done fer the
heifer. TOO. lnstid OF maxim noises like tho
thTashin Machine She couldnt sing SsIs no songs. GR
trainin'. but Eli he was reckonln' thet OF she
showed any knack o. music he'd let her take
lessons from u trH,silin S,s psries'or which was vas
pianner. You see, Ell reck oned he could git
J. did cheap because % OF havIn' two of Ms
thes hefs9 never 9ei to tafS no .s
sons. Along OF the advance Of civilization an
way some folks built faotry an put one ise Of
them there sighin' whistles onto 1t, one Of them
things that goes ooomph- umph-oo ahh ee
think up thet far. Likely you've hearn EN-"
"0h. a siren whistle, you mean," said the
" don't SEQ no sense In calm II a siren" re-
piled the sawmil Road native. "Sighin'
whistle. | hearn 1t called. an when 1t sighed
every thing around them parts what had ears
closed 'sm up. The day they first got steam on
in the fActry they celebrated by turnln' thet
whistle loose. an she climbed, an she climbed,
an,she climbed. TIL penny whistle sounded like
sopranner hsifer was out friskin' In the tlve-
acre paster. Sho hadn't never struck nothin'
before thet could soar above her voice. an when
that stRhin' whistle begin to sigh. soft an low,
ha N n n lat nuf
ono OF her pet notes thet you could hear for a
mile. Up went the whistle q notch. but 1t
didn't bother tho heifor none. She'd did her
little turn an she was waitin' 70 hear whqt the
one of these hore deliberate siRhin' whis-
surely. an the heller. she let out another
yAp list to encourage It, Ell, he was watchin'
the heifer. an no says she had a smile OF
triumph onto her face. Pretty quick when the
whistle took Il rise again thet smile disappeared.
The hefer was Gittin' kinder oneasy.. Warn't
no signs of weakenin' in the other voice. an II
was gittin' up purity we'll into the clouds. But
the heifer she went IL one better, an then the
siRhin' whistle lit square on thet note without
a effort. 1t was gittin' mighty interestin'. Tho
heller. an tho heifer seen the raise an went il
mr. hiatt then ia IyhiStle w ped thpf