The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-03-18
HIS Welded WIFE.

Shakespeare says something about
worms-or It may BIO giants or bottles
turning II you tread on them too severely.
The safest plan is never to tread on worm
NOT even on tho last new subaltcrn from
homo, with his buttons hardly out of their
tissue paper and tho red of sappy English
beef in his checks. This is the story of
tho worm that turned. For the sake of
brevity We will call Henry Augustus
Ramsay Faizanne 1.-The Worm" although
he really was an exceedingly pretty boy,
without hair on his face and with a
waist like girls when no camo out to the
second "Shikarris'' and was made unhap-
by In several ways. The Shikarris are
high caste regiment, and you must BIO able
to do things well-play a banjo or ride
more than little or sing or act-to get on
with them.
The Worm did nothing except fall off his
pony and knock chips out of gate posts
with his trap. Even that became monoto-
nous after a time. Ho objected to whist,
cut the cloth at billiards, sung out OF tune,
kept very much to himself and wrote to
his mamma and sisters at home. Four of
these five things were vices which the
Shikarris objected to and set themselves to
eradicate. Every one knows how subalterns
are by brother subalterns softened and not
permitted to be ferocious. It Is good and
wholesome and does no one any harm I'M
less tempers are lost, and then there Is
trouble. There was a man once-but that
is another story.
The Shikarris shikarred The Worm very
much, and he bore everything without
winking. He was so good and SO anxious
to learn and flushed so pink that his edu-
cation was cut short, and no was left to his
own devices by every one except the senior
hn1N rr-I,.-
burden for The Worm. Tho senior subal-
tern meant no harm, but his chaff was
coarse, and no didn't quite understand
where to stop. He had been waiting too
long for his company, and that always
sourS a man; also he was in love, which
made him worse
Ono day after he had borrowed The
Worms trap for a lady who had never ex-
listed, had used it himself all the after
noon, had sent Il note to The Worm pur-
porting to come from tho lady and was
telling the mess all about it, The Worm
rose in his place and said in his quiet
ladylike voice, THAT was very pretty
sell, but I'll lay you months pay to q
months pay when you get your step that
work sell on You that you'll remember
for tho rest of your days and tho regiment
after you when you're dend or broke"
the rest OF the mess shouted. Then the
senior subaltcrn looked at The Worm from
the boots upward and down again, and
said, Done, baby" The Worm took the
rest of tho mess to witnessthat the bot had
been taken and retired into a book with n
sweet smile.
Two months passed, and the senior sub
altern still educated The Worm, who be-
gan to move about little more as the hot
weather came on. 1 have said that the
senior subaltern was in love- The curious
thing Is thnt girl was in love with the
senior subaltern. Though tho colonel said
awful things, and the majors snorted and
married captains looked unutterable wis
dom, and tho juniors scoffed, those two
were engaged.
Tho senior subaltorn was so pleased
with getting his company and his accept
ance at the Same time that no forgot to
bother The Worm. The girl was n pretty
girl and had money of her own. Sho does
not come into this story at all.
Ono night at the beginning of the hot
weather all the mess except The Worm.
who had gone to his own room to write
home letters, were sitting on the platform
outside the messhouse. The band had
finished playing, but no one wanted to 90
in. And the captains wives were there
also. Inc Jolly OF man In love Is unlim-
tied. Tho senior subaltern had been hold
ing forth on the merits OF tho girl he was
engaged to. and the ladies were purrine
approval, while the men yawned, when
there was rustic of skirts In the dark,
and a tired, faint voice lifted itself:
where's my husbandY'
do not wish in tho least to reflect on
the morality Of tho Shikarris, but it Is on
record that four mon jumped up as If thew
had been shot. Three OF them were mar-
ried men. Perhaps they were afraid that
their wives had como from homo unbe.
known. The fourth said that he had acted
on the impulse of the moment. He OK
planned this afterward.
Then tho voice cried, ooh, Lionell"
Lionel was tho senior subaltern's name
A woman came into the little circle of
light by tho candles on the peg tables
stretching out her hands to tho dark where
the senior subaltcrn was and sobbing. We