Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-03-04
Junius
Decinnus
Juvenalis
Jones.

uClu OS0id 1IOuoO VII lStoV W -
day night, and preached? at the
same place on Thursday morning.
What he said on these occasions
was mixture of slush and slang,
vii and wisdom, ancient fshy jokes
and incidents, the most touching
pathos and the most ludicrous
bathos, all jumbied fumbled and
tumbled together in most incon-
grous and yet inimitally monde
script whole, that kept his audi
ence, niggels and all, in continu-
Gus roar of laughter.
OF course there is great diversi-
ty of opinion as to the merit of
these lectures and sermons. Some
were thoroughly and honestly dis
gusted, others professed to see great
good III them.
Juvenal, the most famous and
the most effective of Latin sat;rists,
pursued methods somewhat SINH
lar to our man Jones, and he made
Rome howl on more occasions than
one, indeed he made the most pow
erful vices of that ancient city to
tremble and shook the masters OF
the world on their thrones. Maybe
Sam Jones can do, and is doing,
something of the same kind.
The following are some of the
bright and ''narsty" things he
said:
After a meeting held IN the in
.terests of the colored pco, 'le an old
time darkey woman came up TO
shake hands with me, and said,
"Bro. Jones, l lack to hear you
preach for you breaches more like
a niger than any white man ey-
or heard. Thank the Lord, if you
is got a white face you's got .. blac.
heart.
A dude is PIN pie on the face
of society, showing that its blood
is out of order. Bless your life, It's
no harm to kill a dude. The Bible
says thou shall not take the life of
a h,man being.
On one occasion, ry life was
threaten, d by a pack of dudes, and
when in crowd, they came up
to take my life, said, "Take, care.
I'll spit Oh you and drown you.
never fight, but If nothing but
fighting will do 'em, bless your life,
] promised my wife to take care of
her husband, and a man that won't
Lake care of his wife's husband, is
no account.
This is the best poor mars coun-
try under the sun, and if boy
wants to be anybody its the best
place to be it in, but if you don't
want 70 be any body, just sit where
you are, you'll have plenty Of COM
pany.
The man who is Away trying tc
save up for Sallie and the children
won't be dead and in hell 6 months
before some old fellow will lie seat
ed on his front piazza with his feet
over the bannisters. smoking a ci-
gar, talking about the old colonel,
Sallie's first.
Well, I have already talked an
bour and twenty minutes, but l
want to give you all your moneys
worth, if you've got anywhere to
put it If you want 10 go out
though. get up, and go. 1t don't
cost you anything to 60 out.
1 wouldn't join mob. They
are the most cowardly set of peo-
pie in the world. They never hurt
man unless he is a poor friend
less wretch, who is utterly defence
less, and they know will be hung
anyhow If l couldn't tackle a
man bv myself. I'd let him go.
Sam Jones totes his own skillet.
A woman that'll sassy Der moth
er will sassy her husband.
1t was asked me one day, what
political party belonged to? Are
you democrat Mr.. Jones? they
asked. "Naw" said I. Are you re-
publican?" "Naw sir" Well what
are you? "Why, I am gentleman,
/ am"
Pm a prohibitionist, and there's
one good thing about my politics,
and that is, that 1 won't have to
change them when 1 die, when l
get to the pearly gates, I'll say 1
am a prohibitionist, and they'll
say walk in Mr.. Jones, we are all
that here. But bless me, if some of
you don't change your politics be-
fore you die, you'd better wear
your summer clothes,-and carry
along a fan too. You'll need 'em.''
What we want in this age is a
religion that makes man live
right, and live pure and pay bis
debts. The religion that doesn't
show itself in q mans life is no
account.
!