The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-05-06

= Every civilized nation Of thea
world, even China Japan, now has q
wheather bureau.
- The first love and the first shave
are two things that only happen once
in a mans lifetime.
Think Of the ills from which you
are exempt, and it will aidyou to beay
patiently those which you may suffer.
= Husband. Strange, but mywifes
always wants me to remember her
birthday, but to forget her age.
= Bath, Me-, boasts Of a man who
can add up column Of figures with
one hand while he is writing with the
other.
= A sponge having.a circumference
Of five feet six inches has been5taken
from the waters Of Biscayne bay,
Florida.
The population Of the world
averages 100 women to every 100 men.
Eight-ninths Of the sudden deaths are
those Of males.
"Give me a kiss, dear girl.
can't" she replied "I don't mind
lending you one, but must have il
returned tomorrow"
= Rev. Parsons-I hope there was
something about my sermon which, I'M.
terested you' Mr.. Knapp-Yes, sir
it was long t.. be remembered.
= An orange sixteen inches In cir.
conference was taken from a tree at
Pomona, Cal. It is to be sent to-
Europe as a specimen ggof CaiforniS
fruit.
Men Of God have always, from
time to time, walked among mena and:
made their commission felt in the
heart and soul Of the commonest hear
er.-Emerson.
= Buzzfuzz That saying, Marry
in haste, repent at leisure, is all:
wrong. Sizzletop.-Think so? Buzz
fuzz.-Certainly. After a man mar
ries he has no leisure.
-"Mamma, Aunt Jane is q great
talker, isn't she 2" eyes, daughter,
and she was never married because no
man could get her to keep still long
enough to hear his proposal.
= Van Buren, County, Michigan,
made a record last year Of one divorce
to every seven marriages. There were
thirty-six divorces in the county
during the year.
= OF the foreign born population Of
the United States the Irish / now
only about 20 per cent, whereasinIs50I
they were over 40 per cent. The diff
ference affects the power Of the Irish
vote.
-tI wonder if johnson tells the
truth when he says his wife has such
a sunny disposition /? Of course;
he does. Every time he does not do;
exacly what she wishes she make q
hot for him."
= Armenia is not a thoroughly
Christian country, as is generally be-
lieved. Out of a population, of 8
510,205, nearly fve-sixths are Moham-
medans, the exact number being
OOO,414 to only sos, 791 Christians.
"A man in Bourges is still wear
ing the blouse he had on when the;
Prussians entered France. He sWore
that he would never years another, and
by means ofpatches has kepthisi oath,
The tow council has, offered him 100.
francs it for the sown museum.
For every quarter in a man
pocket there are a dozen uses andto:
use each one in suck a way as to de-
rive the greatest benefit is question
every one must solve for himself. We.
believe, however, that no better use:
could be made. of one of these quar-
tiers than to exchange it for a bottle:
Of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy, a medicine that
every family should be provided with.
For sale by Hill Bros.
= Columbia (Ky. has a practically.
uneducated preacher who can recite.
every chapter in the Bible. It is said.
that one can call for any chapter, and,
this preacher will recite it inissen-i
tirety with the greatest ease.
The diamonds in one symbol of
the Shah's rank. are said to weigh all
most twenty pounds. There is also a;
jeweled saber, valued at $1,000, 600.
Another thing that the Shah prizes is
a silver vase ornamented with loo.
emeralds, whose equals, it is said.
are not to be found in the world.
-stDid my singing disturb you,
yesterday?' said the musical young
woman. "Were you singing asked.
the impoite hoaFds. Why, -of
course. Didn't you hear me IL
believe it was your voice heard.
But I thought you hadseen q mouse.
- Judge Bennett, Of Campbell:
County, Ky, surprised the Court
officers one day last week by ordering
that his own salary be reduced from
s1,700 to S1,400a year saying that
the county could not, in its present.
financial condition, afford to pay him.
so much for his work.
Ct like that girl" said Woody.
Witte, 'because whenever I tell her
anything amusing she laughs in the
right place" eyes," replied his.
friend. "She told me how she managed
it." "Why-er--how is that 2. She
says she always watches you and
laughs when you do"
= Alligators grow very slowly.
fifteen years of age they are only iEoS
feet long. A twelye-footer may Be
supposed reasonably to be seyentyliye
years old. 1t is believed that they
grow as long as they live, and prob.
ably they live longer than any other
animals.
- Mr.. D. P. Davis, a prominet liF-
eryman and merchant of Goshen, Ea.,
has this to say OF the subject of rhsu-
matism II take pleasure in recon-
mending Chamberlain's Pain Balm.
for rheumatism, as I know from per-
sonal experience that it will do3alI
that is claimed for it. & year ago
this spring my brother was laid up In
bed with infammatory rheumatism
and suffered intensely. The first ,p-