Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1896-11-18

n 4 R. JAMES INCH is one of the
1N most staid and dignified citi-
\ Il zens of Parlor City. He never
drinks, he never smokes, and it is his
firm conviction that HadeS is yawning
for every man. woman, and child that
plays cards. He is pillar of the local
Methodist Church, has publicly de-
nounced dancing as an invention of the
devil, progressive euchre and pedro
parties as creased poles to the realm Of
Satan, and trolley parties as an even
more sinful diversion than any of the
other forms of amusement to which he
is opposed. One might imagine from
this that Mr.. James Inch was an un-
popular man in Parlor City Such
however, is not the case. The inhab-
itants point him out to strangers as
their model citizen, and can't say
enough in praise of him. That is be-
cause Mr.. Inch is sterling business
man, and so generous and charitable
that his fellow townsmen are willing
to overlook his radical views on things
In the amusement line.
Mr. Inch had an experience some
weeks ago that came pretty near
knocking down with one blow the
splendid reputation he has built up for
himself in Parlor City. 1t was most
unfortunate experience for Mr.. Inch,
but it provided amusement for his fell
low citizens for days afterwards, and
some of them are not through laughing
yet.
One bright sunny morning early in
August Mr.. Inch boarded a train bound
for Parlor City at small
way station some twenty miles
from his home. He had gone
out there the night before on bust
ness, had missed the last train back,
and night on corn husk mattress in
the local tavern had ruffled him about
as much as he had ever been ruf1led in
his life. Mr.. Inch had not been in the
train five minutes when he heard n
frightful racket in the ear behind him.
and on inquirlng of the conductor what
it meant was told that both of the rear
Ing transferred from New York to the
State asylum on the hill back of Par
lor City.
They're in charge of keepers, all
right" said the conductor, but they
get excited every now and then, and
tell you the keepers have their hands
full. Lor! but they do curse!"
"Do you suppose I could go look at
them| asked Mr.. Inch, who immedi-
ately made up his mind that it was his
duty as a Christian man to go and
speak a few words of admonition to
these men.
Dunno" was the conductors laconic
response. you'll have to ask the
keepers"
Mr.. Inch rose from his seat and start
ed back He decided that he would not
ask permission to do what was his
plain duty. He felt that the keepers
would refuse him admission to the car,
so he made up his mind to slide in I'M
observed, take a seat, and watch his
chance to distribute advice to the un-
fortunate. 1t was not difficult piece
of work, as the keepers were pretty
busy when Mr.. Inch opened the door
and walked in, and they didn't notice
him at all He gradually worked his
way to the middle of the ear unnoticed
In the bowling crowd of wild-eyed men,
and ensconced himself in Il seat beside
a red-headed individual who was
swinging his arms round in most reck-
less fashion and singing in a shrill
voice:
"rhis Is my story. this is my song,
Prasing the Savior all the day long
Over and over again the man sang
the couplet sandwiching it with strings
of oaths, which sent chills chasing each
other up and down Mr.. Inch's spinal
column. He attempted to talk with
the man, but he might as well have
tried to converse with log of wood
Others with whom he started converse
tions looked at him so blankly that he
soon realized it was "A hopeless task
and settling down in his seat, he re-
solved to say no more
"When we get to Parlor City. he
figured to himself, I'll just wait unit
they get this crew out of the car, and
then I'll go out myself and go home
Mr. Inch's resolution was the result
of little speculation as to what would
happen to him if the keepers discov
cred that he had entered the car and
! mingled with this crew of violent ant
irresponsible men.
At the station in Parlor City on the
same morning that Mr. Inch boarded
the train twenty miles away stood fif
teen keepers from the State asylum
waiting for the consignment Of luna
ties from New York. With them was
young DR.. Blank, on whose shoulders
rested the responsibility for the saf'
transportation of the lunatics from
the station to the asylum. DR.. Blanl
was worried. 1t was the first eXpedi
ton of this kind he had commanded