The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-07-16

ways than one. UOnt you Ueos mum
that I've hurt the feelings Of many ex-
cellent folk, and flouted. ~ appears, :
rood work, and convinced everybody
who had any doubt before that I really
am an atheist?"
It was on the face of IL an unfortunate
circumstance, and one could only sug-
gest that peoples memories are very
short in these busy days.
''The people in that room don't for
get" said Fletcher. gloomily. "And
this very day l crowned my iniquity;
it's no use fighting against fate, by
which I mean this hideous vice Of the
ridiculous. It's in my blood-the only
bad turn my mother did me.
"What happened to-day? Oh, nothing
again, nothing. 1 simply stumbled into
the conference of the 'Sisterhood Of
Female Philanthropists,' and way
dragged to the platform, where sat
facing the audience and he shuddered
| at the remembrance.
"She was most eloquent speaker.
and she was enlarging on the courage
| it needed to ask stranger to join the
sisterhood. We'll do l remember my
| feelings and then she Travelled into
autobiography. Your feelings that day
were doubtless the same as mine, aud
| again she turned aside, and we were
kept in anguish. Yes, you and had
| the same experience, and we shall never.
never forget there every one made
ready to take note. Dear sisters, did
| not each of us burst that minute into q
violent perspiration?' There seemed
no way of getting out except through
the hall, and it was really very good Of
| them not to hiss me.
''Of course I'll never run such risks
again, but it does not matter where am,
this evil spirit will seize me; it is my
| profound conviction that there is
personal devil, and that humor is one
| of his choice Instruments.
"You know that wonderful verger Of
ours who is an undcrstudy Of an alder
man? Well, he took charge of q party
| of stangers at the door, who had come
in at the venite, and started a procession
he leading majestically, chanting as
he went, and gently beating time with
his left hand. Then he turned at a Ger
tain pew, and motioned to his convoy
to enter, but there was nobody. The
people had found seats for themselves
at the back, and the procession had
consisted of the great man himself.
When 1 stood at the lectern, the sight
came up before me, and went to pieces
over the word Nebuchadnezzar.
"As for funerals"-Fletcher was de-
termincd to make a clean breast of it
'they are simply terror to me; men
play such pranks and are 30 unreal.
You know Bibby, what a droll. chubby
faced. hearty little man he is?" Yes,
] did know Bibby. well. he came yes
terday into the room where we were all
sitting in that awful silence with an
| expression so woebegone that could
have shaken him; he sat down beside
me, and sighed like blast furnace"
(which was too much for your wick
| edness?"
II only said in natural voice: Bitter
east wind and If the wretched creature
did not reply: 'Ah, yes. very unex-
pected'-he did not know the relatives
| by sight, and had mistaken the doctor
for the chief mourner-'and sad. We
are there to-day and here tomorrow
Then II he didn't wag his head, and
Satan seemed to take possession Of me.
1T isn't that am not ashamed of my
self, or that don't take precautions.
have not preached q sermon for years
without reading it over once for the
special purpose of scoring out any sim
gle word that would provoke smile.
Yet people laugh when preach in
strange churches, although am az sol
emn as grave-digger. and rascally
newspaper called me an amusing
preacher. Az for myself, the public exc
cutions have conducted!"
"As counteractive, do you meanT
Yes, OF course; the moment / zee any
danger. I condemn soms poor wretch
to death without mercy, and strap his
legs and arms, and place him ON the trap
door, and put on the white cap, and pull
the bolt. Surely that il enough. The
number of people have hung at an co
clesiastical gathering, say the diocesan
conference, TO maintain my character.
often fills me with remorse."
DO ccclesiastics never laugh?" I
dared to inquire.
Never. except in quiet regulated
fashion at some jocose, time-honored
clerical pleasantly, and then only II it
proceed from an archdeacon upwards.
II mere commoner like myself, being
suddenly overcome by the pedantic alb
surdity of ecclesiastical ways, should
express himself freely. you would SEQ 3
sjclkly smile on the faces of those su-
perior men, and afterwards you might
overhear them: Great want Of serious
ness; very light mettle. indeed
In TACT" and Fletcher became al
most bitter, "if you wish to succeed in
church or state. never jest, and remem-
Der what our English humorist said
when. with his friends. he was tasting
some agreeable tale: Look solemn,
here's fool coming"
| II was IN vain that I 1ahored ne <,cr