davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
The OFFICE SEEKING HORDE.

General Harrison Says 1t Makes the Pcsi-
ton of President One of Many Trials.
At the beginning of every administra-
ton Washington fills up with persons
who desire some Office either in the
states, in the departments or in the for
eign service, writes ex-President Harri-
son in The Ladies' Home Journal, dis
cussing 1.-THE Presidential Office. " Many
of these persons have a limited purse,
and as the days pass on this is exhaust
ed, and Impotence and i'll temper come
in. Many of these persons are deserving
and we'll fitted to fill the offices they de-
sire. But it is impossible to find places
for all the deserving, and the position of
the president is full of trial. The sus-
pense and uncertainty that the office
seeker suffers are illustrated by the case
Of a man from my own state who
Thought ne mad good reason +ee-essqect an
appointment from President Garfield.
After he had been weeks at Washington,
and had brought to bear all the influence
he could command, l met him one day
on the street and asked him how he was
getting along. His answer was, Every
we'll, very well, but there is nothing
focal yet. 1t was wonderfully express
i've and has remained in. my memory
as a type of the state of uncertainty
which accompanies Office seeking.
"Nothing focal yet, " but a hope that is
hard to kill.
There are few offices at Washington
| the salaries of which enable the incum-
bent to save any money, and the average
| experience of those holding places in the
| departments, 1 am sure, is, if they would
express it, that private business offers
| better returns and gives a better chance
for advancement.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
The White Man Not Outdone.

General credence is not given to the
story of the remark attributed to George
Washington that he ''would not be out
done in %politeness by a negro" Never
theless, it is a story that goes, and 1t
evidently has been taken to heart by Mr..
Thomas B. Reed.
One day last week Mr.. Reed was
sauntering along a fashionable uptown
street during calling hours, while ladies'
were alighting in droves from their car
riages. Two oolored brothers, decidedly
the worse looking for wear, and belong.
ing to the faction which, by casting from
ten to twenty.i five votes apiece, recently
secured the election Of a Reed delegate
from thu District to the National Repub-
lican Convention, were hanging around,
watching the scene. As Mr.. Reed was
passing they tugged at the battered
remnants of hats surrounding their
pates and said: "How do, MI. Speaker
Instantly the hand of the Speaker was
elevated, his hat was removed clean from
his head, his body was bent forward in a
bow deep and profound, and the habitua'
cynical smile which plays around his lipl
melted into nj Of extreme cordiality al
he replied: GOOD morning, gentleman
-Baltimore San.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Brosius' Story Of Stevens.

ga great many stories have been told
about my distinguished predecessor,
Thaddeus Stevens, whose district l have
the honor to represent" said Mr.. Bro
sius, of Pennsylvania, yesterday, but here
Ia one that is new to me:
"Stevens was championing some bill
in Congress which aroused the opposition
Of the combined Southern members. He
made a brilliant speech in favor of it,
and equally brilliant speeches were made
on the other side, and the upshop of it
was that Stevens was outv oted after a
very bitter and passionate partisan de-
bate.
"Stevens was still boiling with dis
appointment and bitterness when
Toombs, of Georgia, in a haunting way,
asked him:
"'Well, how do you feel wei your
defeatp'
Feel? snapped back Stevens, feel? !
feel like the poor man at the rich mans
gate, who was licked by the dogs.'"-
Washington Post,
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Where Ben Franklin Wore His Wig.

The difficulties encountered recently by
the lineal descendants of that great man,
statesman, patriot and everything else
that men properly hold in estimation
Benjamin Franklin-in having themselves
enrolled among the Colon ial Danes, re.
calls an anecdote of him. When about to
present himself for the first time at the
court of Versailles he was informed by
the master of ceremonies that a wig was
a sine qua non Now, his head was so
large that no ordinary wig would begin
to fit 1t, and the situation was embarrass-
ing in the extre me. However, one was
found sufficiently large to pass him
through the ante-chambers, after which
he was permitted to remove the ridicu-
lous conventional appeniage and place it
in his ample pocket, whence it never
again emerged to public Washing
ton Post.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

There is one thing which is not gen.
orally known to the public-that is,
Mosby and his men never received n
cent from the Confederate government.
Each man provided himself with his
own uniform, horse and arms. and
boarded himself. The United States
government furnished us with captured
horses, arms and ammunition, and the
extra horses captured paid our board.
So, instead of receiving pay from the
Confederate government, we turned
over to them horses, mules and arms. l
will mention one incident to show what
an honorable and conscientious man
Colonel Mosby was. On the greenback
raid, when we captured $168, 900, be-
fore division was made of the money
$50, 900 was offered Colonel Mosby,
which he declined to receive. Nor did
he ever take anything for his own use
that had been captured.-Thomas Moss
in Washington Post.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
The full intensity Of living is reached

Tho full intensity of living is reached
only by the perfectly healthy. Sickness
discounts the capacity for enjoyment. If
his body..is all out of order and run down,
he will not be able to enjoy anything,
no matter how full of enjoyment it may
be for other people. If he is just a little
bit out of order, if he sis not sick, but
doesn't feel just right" he will only be
able to enj oy things In a haIf-hearted
sort of way. The nearer he is to being
perfectly we'll, the nearer will his capacity
for enjoyment be perfect. II this con
dition doesn't exist, something ought to
be done. That means nine cases in ten
the use of DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery. 1t works directly on the
digestive organs, and ON the blood and
through these on every tissue of the
body. 1t makes the appetite good, di-
gestion and nutrition perfect and supplies
rich, red blood to all the tissues, building
up solid, healthful flesh.
Send 81 cents in one cent stamps to
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
Buffalo, N. Y, and receive DIR. Pierce's
1908 page Common Sense Medical
Adviser" profusely illustrated.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Wanted More.

Banker Spudds-"I didn't hear you
knock at the door of my office, young
man."
The Young Man-"I didn't knock. L
wanted to be sure of seeing you"
You don't appear to be lacking in
nerve, sir!"
1 am, though. That's what I've come
for"
"Hey?"
Eyes, sir. And l come by permission"
"Wh-what!"
That's right. By permission"
Whose permissionP"
Hers"
"Her's? WhoseP"
"Your daughters"
(Which ones"
"Miss 'Nerva."
GOOD heavensr"
"Yes, Sir. SeeP"-M Chicago Tribune.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Hypnotism on the Farm.

"Josiar," said Mrs. Crontossal, "was
ye ever hypnotizedP"
"Never, that l know on"
Dye b'lieve they is any sech thing ez
hypnotism, anyway"
"Course I do"
II dunno bout that. What on airth
ails ye, anyway? What do ye want to
hypnotize fur?"
well, ye see, Josiar, I'm too kind
hearted ter stir ye up ter bein' Industrious
by harsh words, an thort thet eff 1 could
get a bucket o'spring water an a bunch O.
kindlin' wood without yer knowin' tibet
ye'd worked a bit. there'd be nothin' but
the peacefulest sentiments all round"
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
HONEY AS A FOOD.
IT Is Easy Of Observation-Disclosures In Some
Cases Of Disease.

Cases OF Disease.
Probably most people consider honey
as the equal in value for food of any
sweet sauce-no better, no worse. All
should know that it possesses one great
superiority-ease Of digestion. The nee
tar of flowers is almost wholly ane
sugar. The secretions added by the bees
change this to grape sugar and SO pre-
pare it that it is almost ready for as
similation without any effort ON the
part of the stomach. In fact, Professor
A. j. Cook once styled honey "digested
nectar. 4" 1t will be readily seen that
honey is a very desirable food for those
with weakened digestive powers. If a
person is very tired, "too exhausted to
eat" it is astonishing how a few tastes
of honey will act almost like magic.
Almost no effort is required to make it
ready for assimilation. Persons suffer
ing from some forms Of kidney trouble
will find that honey is a much more
beneficial food for them than is Il
sugar.
In eating comb honey many strive to
eject every particle of wax, fearing that,
as wax is indigestible, nightmare and
other troublesome consequences will fol-
low an indulgence i'll warm biscuit and
honey. 1t is true that bread is more
easily digested than warm biscuit, as
the latter is inclined to "pack" in chew
ing, but it may surprise ON TO know
that comb honey is really an aid TO tie
digestion of hot bread or biscuit. The
philosophy of the matter is that the
flakes of wax prevent the packing"
while the honey readily dissolves out,
leaving passages for the gastric juice to
enter the mass of food. The flakes of
wax are indigestible, that is true, but
when warmed are perfectly smooth and
soft and will not injure the most deli
cate membrane. In fact, they act as a
gentle stimulant and are beneficial in
some forms of alimentary difficulties.
The unpleasant symptoms from which
some suffer after eating honey may Of
ten be removed by drinking a little
milk.-Albany C~ultivator.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
No Chance For Such a Mistake.

A story was told on an ocean steamer
returning from Europe last autumn to
the effect that during a few moments
stop ata Swiss railway station an English
girl emerged from the train and began to
pace the platform. Attracted by a party
OF Americans not fa- away. similarly
enjoying themselves, she started toward
them. Her mother, perceiving her inten-
ton, called out the window: aGladys.
come back here. People will think
you're an American"
The provocation was too strong for a
Colorado girl in the American party to
resist.
"Take her for an American ?" she
cried. "Not with thoss feetr,-Harper's
Magazine.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
A SOUL
BY HENRY wysHAM LANIER.

BY HENRY W4HhAM LANlEhs
Beneath the seethfng, trrbid sea OF life
There lay a fair round pearl. dusk-gray,
serene,
lnioided In a shell, apart from strife
or angry storms, which rage unheard, un
seen;
Long, Shiny seaweed waves above its head,
AND monstrous shapes, as shadows, fit
along:
vessels with their CHASTITY freight
of dead
Whose bones are clashing in a weird sea
song,
Ana still 1t lay, sky gray. the ivelong day,
Until In dreams one night 1t saw the sun,
And straight grew hot with opaIescent play
or soul-fiames, trembling as stars ere day
has begun.
OLD wrinkled Death. the diver, in the bay
Plunged headiong, blindly clutched the
All gasping. to the surface and the day,
In haste to see h prize these walls in
He rests his lean brown arms upon the skiff,
And tears apart with avartoious hands
The rounded covers. which on hinges stiff
Bend slowly backward to his fierce de-
mands; u
And feasting often-disappointed eyes
Upon those lambent chickering's of light;
He hangs there, breathless, In an awed sur
prise
At sight of such a birth from placid night.
The Independent.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
DR.. DAVID KENNEDY'S
FAVORITE REMEDY

to many people, for 1t saved my life"
In speaking to Mrs. Adams, she said
s.About a year ago I was in a very feeble
state of health, being completely run
down. / had doetored considerably, but
without permanent relief. One day one
of nv neighbors advised me to take DIR.
David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy,
which I did. My trouble was dyspepsia,
and for a long while l was unable to be
about at all; but after taking a few doses
I was completely cured, and now enjoy
good health"
Hundreds of men and women with that
"run down. condition, unable to work,
have recovered health and strength
through this remarkable remedy. 1t
purifies the blood, stirs the liver and
kidneys to a healthy action. Ia cases OF
rheumatism, kidney, liver and urinary
troubles, it is a wellknown specific.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

venoue, on
SATURDAY, MARCH %, 1896,
In front of the Court House. in the city of
Salem, N. j., at 3 O'Clock in the afternoon of
said day, all the following described lots,
tracts or parcels of land, situate in the town.
ship of Pilesgrove, county of Salem and
State of New Jersey, to-wit:
No. l. All thai certain tract of land con-
tanning 5 acres, more or less, dundee by
lands of Moses Ale, Joseph r.. Croft and
Jacob Fries, being the same that David ID.
Lippincott and wife conveyed to Samuel
Sturgiss by deed dated March l, 1898, and
recorded at Salem in Book No. so of Deeds,
folio SO, sc.
No. 2. AL that certain other tract of land,
situate as aforesaid, containing 2% acres of
Thomas l.. Edwards timber, Groff7s land,
and Samuel H. Weatherby, and is the same
that James Abbott and wife conveyed to
Samuel Sturgfss by deed dated April 16. 1891,
and recorded as above, in Book No.. 70 of
Deeds. folio 46, &c.
No. 8. All the right, title and interest of
Henry Howell of, III and to a certain house
and lot of land and premises, situate as
aforesaid. and bounded by late Isaac How.
ellis lot, late Joseph Engle, late John Dick
inson, and John Howell, containing l acre
of land. more or less, and is the same quit
claimed to Henry Howell by Jacob House
n wife, October "a. 1868, recorded at Salem
IN Book No. 80. page $40, &c.
MOI. All the right, title and interest OF
Henry Howell of. in and to all that certain
lot of land, situate as aforesaid, bounded by
lands of late Thomas Cooper, Thomas
Enoch, containing about 81 acres, more or
less, and is the same that Isaac v John W.
aud Charles Dickinson, conveyed to Henry
lowell and John Howell, March q, 1867.
Seized ana taken in execution as the prop
erty of Samuel Sturgiss and Henry Howell,
at the suit of John &. Reeves, and to be sold
by OLIVER III. WRIGGINS, Sheriff.
Dated Salem, N. j :, Feb. 20, 1896. 2-2S
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Not to be Triged with

(FROM CINCINNATI GAZETTE.1
Will people never learn that a "coId"
is an accident to be dreaded, and that
when 1t occurs treatment should be
promptly applied There is no knowing
where the trouble'will end; and while COM
plete recovery is the rule, the exceptions
are terribly frequent, and thousands upon
thousands of fatal illnesses occur every
year ushered In by . little injudicious ex-
posture and seemingly trihing symptoms.
Beyond this, there are to-day countless
invalids who can trace their complaint
to ''colds,' (which at the time of oc,ur-
renee gave NO concern, and were there
fore neglected. When troubled with q
cold use Chamberlain's Cough Remedy.
1t is prompt and effectual. % and 80 cent
bottles for sale by George M. Andrews,
Duggist.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

by q buzzing or roaring sound 10 youf
neads Have you difficulty in hearing
DISTINCTLY? Are you troubled with q CON.
tinuai dropping Of mucus, irritating the
throat and causing You to cough2 Is your
breath unpleasantly affected aud accom-.
panied with bad tastef "a your hearing
lesss soutes II so, you have cstsfh and
shouid At once procure 4 bottle ~ SSs
Cream Balm. the best knDvA 4 Ns4w
The Balm will give Instant f51iSi.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
SHERIFF'S SALE.


IN CHANCERY OF NEW JERSEY.
Between the First National
Bank, of W oodstown. Fl. Fla.
Complainant, for sale Of
samuel M. L%ippincott, ct. ais, Premises
Defendant.
Dated Feb. Is. 1895. Returnable May term.
1896.
10y virtue of the above stated writ of Fl.
ID Fa. to me directed and delivered, l will
sell at public vendue on
SATURDAY, MARCH %, 1896,
In front of the Court House. in the city of
Salem, N. j., between the hours OF IL and5
O'Clock. p. NJ. all the following described
mortgaged premises to-wit. All those two
certain tracts or parcels of land n prem
1ses. situate in the township Of Pilesgrove.
jersey, to-wtt:
No. i. Ali that certain valuable farm stu
ate on the road from Sharptown TO Woods
ter, decd, lands of Jonathan p. Cawley,
decd, Joseph Peterson, decd, and others,
and containing within said bounds l6l acres
of land, be the same more or less. Being
the same premises conveyed to samuel NJ,
Lfppincott by Jonathan d. Smith and wife
by deed dated March II. 1866. recorded in
salem County Clerks office, in Book No. 81
of Deeds, page 37S. &C.
No 2. All that valuable house and large
lot of land where the said Samuel Nj. Lip
pincott now resides, situate on The west side
of Main street, in the borough of Woods
town, Salem county, N. j., bounded by
lands of the late Isaac Scull, now james G.
Panc0ast, David Pancoast n others. and
contains / acre and 49, 100 of an acre of land,
be the same more or less, and is the same
that Edwin Colson and franklin Petit. ex-
ecutors, &c, conveyed to San.ue VI. Lippin-
colt by Deed bearing date March 20. 1871, and
recorded at Salem in Book No. Al of Deeds,
page 5l3. &C., and to be sold by
OLIVER ii. VIRGINS, Sheriff.
Dated salem. N. j., Feb. a6, 1896. rs
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
,nz Vine ST., PhiIa., Pa.
Notice of Assignment.

is hereby given, that John Wal
~ lace. picker Of canned goods, Of the
bbosough Of Woodssown, county, mnay Of d salem salem,
New e q all his estate, to the subscriber, for
MEM, nal benefit OF his creditors. And the
tne qcreaitors are hereby notified, that al
saia clnrainst said estate must be exhibited,
ciaime aSh 81 or animation, to the subscriber,
undea ga "a aforesaid, within three months
f Ass,s this date. or be forever barred rom
coming in dor e I d i iEslGw g sa,u A ssshss;
YORKTOWN, N. j.
na4aa tnss February 20. 1896.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

Literature has her quaoks 40 less than
medicine, aud they are divided into two
Glasses; those who have erudition without
genius, and those who have volubility
without depth; we get secondhand sense
from the one, and original nonsense from
the other.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Interchangeable.

"You must have misunderstood me,
waiter. These are veal outlets, Dreaded,
aren't they?" "Y-yes, sah. 81 ordered
pork tenderloin." Eyes, sab. Jes' take
off de Dreaded part of it, sab, an dare
am de polk ~tendahline, sab. Chicago
Tribune.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

"That government is best which
governs the least" When little Johnny
read this, he said, "I'lI have to show this
to dad"
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

He that kills himself, to avoid misery,
fears, and at the best shows but a bastard
valor; this life's a fort committed to my
trust, which I must not yield up. till
it be forced; nor will I; he's not valliant
that dares die; but he that boldly bears
nalmlv
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

HheuEh~tIsW IN INC CHEST ana Necks
Atlantic City, N. j., Feb. 4, 1861
have had rhed matism 10 my chest and
neck for three years so that it distressed
me to breathe. / tried a great many
remedies but they did not do me any good
and at last | began taking Hooda Sarsa-
psrilla. | have taken three bottles of
this medicine and it has cured me. Lewis
Pedrick.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Must Use The Knife
Said the Surgeon. but DR.. David Ken
nedy's Favorite Remedy was taken
and the Knife Avoided.

d4u tnO AAAAAO 0HSANSN'
The Union and Advertiser of Rochester,
N. Y, recently published the following
interesting account of how William w
Adams of 1877 South avenue, that city,
was saved from a painful operation by
the use of DR.. David Kennedy's Favorite
Remedy.
Mr.. Adams said: ''Three years ago 1
was taken with kidney disease very
badly; at times I was completely pros
trated, In fact, was 30 bad that the day
was set for the doctors to perform an
operation upon me. But l decided l
would not submit. I had been putt hot
water baths, and, in fact. nearly every
means wac tried to help me. Upon the
day set for the operation l commenced
the use of DIR. David Kennedy's Favorite
Remedy, and from that moment began to
gain, and 1t was not long before l was
entirely cured and have had no return Oh
the trouble since. My weight has In
creased and l never was 30 well as l am
now. l have recommended.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Employment Office.

1 beg to inform the farmers of Salem and
Gloucester counties that l am prepared to
work at wages to suit the times. All orders
will be promptly attended to if left at
Frauk WrighG,s shoe store, or with
u. q. CHEW, Woodstown, Agent ior
REED &c PYLE,
sn7 Vine ST.. PhiIa., Pa. s-s sm
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

Within every man is the making of a
saint, and in the region of the will must
the battle be fought.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

There is nothing that astoDishes a
stranger visiting Australia for the first
time so much as the variety and beauty
of it's flowers,
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

"What are the relations now between
your wife and yonrsalfe" ooh. only her
mother, two unoles, a sister, and a fev
cousins"
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
onSumDfOD
AND RS cuRR

W. AND IT'S CURE
To THE EDIToR:H have an absolute
remedy for Consumption. By its timely use
thousands OF hopeless cafes have been already
permanently cured. So proof-positive am /
Of its power that ! consider it my duty to
send fpo bottles free to those of your readers
who have Consumption, Throat, Bronchial o.
Lung Trouble, if they viii write me their
express and postofiice address. Sincerely,
A. sLoCUM. Il C, IA Pearl St, new York.
this Rapes Qpsrantee this generous PROPAGATION.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

Full surrender is to obey as we'll as to
trust, and to trust as well as to obey.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

ri hear that Jenkins had three sinking
turns which terminated fatally SIS
that so?" "Yes he was drowned"
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

Mans spiritual existence is like the
fight Of q bird in the air; he is sustained
only by effort, when he ceases to exert
himself he falls.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

Out of weakness comes strength when
the blood has been purified, enriched and
vitalized by Hoods Sarsaparilla.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Arc xou exer

When a mau refers to a woman as an
old flame of biz you can generally gamble
that he has been fred.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20
Eracntors, Notice.

-Arn A. COOPER and James N. Miller,
Executors Of william Cooper T. de de-
ceased, Dy aiem Sereby give notice to the
county OF s sa'e ehe said William Cooper. de.
caessSIt to bring in their debts u demands ma as snd
claims against the estate e, 81 I'm, tne Within sdiS as nine
enL, nnu rom the date hereof, or they will be
m fapage, bsrrad Of any action thereof against
'ne saiu eAecu'o' KATE Al. COOPER.
JAMES NJ. MILLER,
Executors.
Dated March 6. 1896. Sis I'm
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

HOOPS PILLS cure billiousness, sick
headache.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

FREDDY, why did you drop the baby
on the floor ~
swell, I heard everybody say it is a
bouncing baby. and ! wanted to see it
bounce"
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

The very best way to know
whether Dobbins' Electric Soap is
as good as it is said to be, is to
TRY IT YOURSELF. 1t can't deceive
YOU. Only be careful not to get
an imitation. There are a great
many Electrics and Magnetics, all
intended to deceive the public into
supposing that they are Dobbins'
Electric, or just as good. We
have made this since 1869. 1t is
the original Electric, and is guar
anteed to be worth four times as
much as any other soap ever made.
For washing anything, from the
finest lace to the heaviest blanket,
it is without a peer. Only fooa rteeW%,
directions.
all that we say on the
READ two wrappers around the
oApcEIW " soap, and then see for
VAnET ULHf yourself, whether or not
you can afford to ever
use any other soap than this, after having heard
its own story. told you by your own test of it.
D0BBINS SOAP MFG CO.,
Successors to I. L. Cragin & Co.,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
The Monitor-register., 1896-03-20

Only the wise can profit by the expert
ence of others. A fool has to find out for
himself that FIRE is hot.