davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
BLASTS FROM nAM's HORN.

Doing good viii pay better In the end than
digging gold,
Whenever you make a mistake, make Il
teach you something.
BE careful where you step, and the man who
follows you will not stumble so much.
There are some preachers who never seem
to take any interest in the subject Of re-
ligion.
The devil never thinks II worth while to
answer back when a stingy man talks in
church.
II we knew what our enemies have sui
fered, our enmity would often die a sudden
death.
The light. so pleasant to healthy eyes,
gives pain to sore ones. The truth is hated
by the wrong.
Many troubles are like dogs. Run from
them and they win follow you, Turn
against them, and they will fly.
Some people are never contented unless
in controversy. Like the stormy petrol,
they are ever flying in search Of a tempest.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
THE METHODIST CONFERENCE.

Minneapolis Tribune: The Methodist pro-
cedure in retiring a bishop Is to declare him
non-effective." This rule would work well
in politics If applied to played-out bosses.
New York Tribune: Hitherto Methodist
preachers have had short terms and bishops
life terms. Now 1t is practically proposed to
give preachers life terms and bishops short
terms.
Minneapolis Journal: The Methodlsts
have decided that their young must not
dance. 1t may be a good thing to have this
ttme-honored plank in the platform, but when
the orchestra strikes up
Denver News: Time in the Methodist con
ference is worth 81 a minute. but 1t takes
the brethren Just about as long to elect
bishops as II they were an ordinary state
legislature wrangling over the senatorship,
st. Paul Pioneer Press The Methodist
conference seems likely 70 adjourn, after
all, without taking any definite action con-
corning Colonel Ingersoll. This habit of ad-
journing without settling the great ques-
ticns of the day is a growing evil.
Detroit Free Press: The Methodist Episco-
pal conference seemed to approve the senti-
ment that the Christian endeavorers did
an idiotic thing in praying for lngersoll.
Yet there is highly respectable authority for
loving your enemies and praying for them
who despitefully use you.
Indianapolis News: While many Methodist
preachers would like to do away with the
itinerant system, it is said that a large ma
jority of the laymen are in favor of it, not
because they believe that the going from
place to place will keep them 50 poor as to
be humble. but because a new preacher once
in five years insures a change where there
might be monOtony.
Globe-Democrat There ought to be some
better way Of apprising an aged bishop that
he is ineffective" than of first announcing
the fact in the open session of a large con-
%vent!On, where he is present. A long life
of earnest labor devoted to a church de-
serves more delicate consideration and more
of the ordinary tact that happily distin-
guishes human affairs in general.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

MethodistS in this city and state will
now doubtless appreciate the impor-
tance of providing an episcopal resi-
dence in this city-a subject which long
ago was discussed by leading men Of
that denomination. both Mt Lincoln and
at Omaha, 1t is known that Bishop
Newman has IA kindly feeling for
Omaha and will in all probability con-
tlnue his official residence here. But
all elements of doubt on this score
would be eliminated If the church
would provide an episcopal residence
as other denominations have done.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Could human helplessness be more pitt
fully depicted than by the particulars of the
Sherman cyclone? Evening is drawing on
the hour for the homecoming of shop keepers
and labOrers. SOmber clouds are banked
against the western sky, portending a storm.
Suddenly a mass Of whirling, scurrying
yapors burst from the darkening sky and
PUSHES down upon the town with a thunder
Gus roar. Pedestrians have barely time TO
note the oncoming OF the black and ugly
cloud to cry a futile warning; to throw them
selves to the ground or stand transfixed with
fear. And then! A rush and roar; a mo.
ment of mad tumult; the sounds of crashing
timbers and the agon!zing shrieks of human
beings.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
UNIVERSITY SUMMER SCHOOLS.

Among the latest features Of the de
yelopment in the field of higher educa-
ton, the university summer schools
seem TO have taken a firm hold upon
the class of patrons to which they eX-
tend their special advantages. These
summer schools, established only n
few years ago in connection with sew
eral of the principal eastern colleges
and universities for the purpose of af-
fording an insight Into university meth
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

The Denver grand jury that Is bring
ing in indictments against bank officers
who helped wreck their banks and ruin
dcpositors and creditors has struck a
rich vein. If bank-wrecking were
made II little more dangerous and II
few more of the parties guilty of the
crime in different parts of the country
landed in prison. the pastime would
cease to be so popular as it has been
in recent years.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
DAY.

Written for The Bee.
Let us weep for the widowed in heart and in
spirit,
Bereft of the dearest of blessings of earth.
For the fatherless children, f'rcdoomed to
inherit
TAe horrors of war that o'ershadow,d heir
birth;
For beauty and promise were hidden away
In the graves that we cover with sorrow
today.
But rejoice for the souls early freed from
their crosses
Who rose, at one bound, to most difficult
heights,
Who left ali life's heartacnes and evils and
losses
In the noble defense of humanity's rights:
The patriots high purpose Is speaking'
Away,
From the graves that we cover with honor
today.
BELLE WILEY CUE.
WINSIDE. Neb, May, 1896.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
Pntricinn Blood ana Cheese.

INdTTsdS VIy JOUTIIUT.
The subtle ties which bind the aristocracy
of the world together are indeed strong and
lasting. Thus in some portions of Europe
the claims to patrician blood are based upon
the number of cheeses possessed by a family;
the older the cheese and the more numerous
they are, the bluer the blood of the fortunate
pOssessors. A similar distinction exists in
the United States, where the Goldfish Is the
heraidic badge of certain of the bon ton and
serves as a patent of nobility. The more
Goldfish the less necessity for genealogical
trees or ancient lineage.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

The supreme court of the United States
has decided that the Louisiana law requiring
separate cars for white and colored passen-
gers on the railroads of that state is not in
contraventiOn of the federal constitution, and
this ruling must be accepted as the law Of
the land. There will, however, be wide
spread sympathy with the strong dissenting
opinion of Justice Harlan, who says there is
no more reason for separate cars for whites
and negroes than for Catholics and Protes-
tants. 1t is unfortunate, to say the least,
that our highest court has declared itself
in opposition to the effort to eXpunge race
lines in state legislat on.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Victoria. queen of Great Britain and
Ireland and empress of India. is ~
years old today and in Il little
less than Il month from today, on June
20, she will have been tiftX-ninc years
on the British throne. Owing to the
anniversary of her birthday falling
on Sunday. its official celebration took
place throughout England on last
Wednesday and was characterized by
the usual popular expressions of loyalty
and affection. for the British people
love their venerable queen, who holds
their admiration as she does the
respect of the world for her excellent
womanly qualities. Her career has been
marked by the solid and enduring viz
tues which the English nation csteems.
1t has been truly said of her that she
has been Il good woman as well as Il
good sovereign and that all through The
long period during which she has occu-
pied Il most exalted station the III
tous changes in society. business,
political affairs and international rela-
tons have ever shaken her character
or caused her to ALLEVIATE any consider
able body of her subjects. A model
English wife and mother, she
is today the most widely respected rep
rcspntative of the ~dccaying institution
of royalty. ,... .
The reign of Victoria is one of the
longest in history and the era it covers
is unparalleled in the achievements II
progress of civilization. The great m
pire over which she rules is more eN-
tenSivc than when she. Il girl of Is
years, assembled the throne, but it is
not in territorial expansion that En-
lands greatest glory has been attained
during the last sixty years. There has
been splendid progress in the fields Of
learning, in the arts, in science. in liter
allure and in all that elevatcs mankind.
There has been. also, n great advance
in liberal government. so that in every
thing but the name Great Britain under
Victoria has become republican, pre-
serving still some of the forms of mon
archy, but practicing much that is best
in Il republican system of government
Perhaps the queen has not been greatly
Instrumental in bringing all this about.
but she has made no opposition to il
and her gracious Influence has not been
without effect in promoting it. 1t is
crrditable to her good sense that she
has seen the inevitable drift and quietly
accepted it.
Victoria is strong and hearty for Il
woman of her age and may enjoy Il
good while longer the power and honor
of her great station. Whether or not
the British monarchy will survive her
death is a question which only time
can determine, but in any event the lib
cral political system that has been es-
tablished under her reign will continue.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

From the moment the exposition hill
is signed by the president Omaha's
burden of responsibility will steadily
increase. A task, compared with which
all other public enterprises cspouscd by
omaha dwarf into insigniicancc, will
be imposed upon the leading men of
this city by the success of the bill. The
exposition is not, strictly speaking, an
Omaha enterprise, but Il people an
not evade the responsibility of provid-
ing n place for 1t and OF arranging all
the preliminaries for the greatest eX-
hibit of our and products the
west has ever attempted.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Huntington and his railroad lobby
may be relied upon to stay in Wash
ington as long as congress stays there.
If the slightest ~crevice is opened
through which he eau slip any of his
bills he is sure to make the most of it.
The congressman who have been stand
ing up for the people against the wiles
of the lobby must therefore stay at the
guard post till the last danger line is
safely passed.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Foreign nations are greatly impressed
with the appearance of our new Aincri-
can navy so far as they can Judge from
the specimens cruising in their neigh.
borhood. SO far, so good. If they are
only sufficiently impressed to avoid
forcible encounters with the United
States war ships whenever an avenue
for the peaceful settlement of differ
cnces lies open the main purpose of our
fleet will have been accomplished with
ont "A FIGHT
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
EnCt DentS Fiction.
Boston Traveller.

Chauncey Depew did not quite equal the
feat of Puck in putting "a girdle round about
the earth in forty minutes" in his world
enctrcling electric message, but he should
not be chagrined. He should remember that
there is no authentic evidence that Puck
ever made good his boast.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Public confidence in the Colorado Min
Ing Stock exchange must have been
p~erceptibly strengthened since it has
become publicly known that the direc-
tors have expelled three members for
carrying on fraudulent practices.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

The total production of salt in the
United States for the year 1895 is
officially placed ut ~13.G6G,Gi9 barrels of
$50 pounds each. If the figures seem
n tritle ~tOp-heavy, everybody is privi-
legged to take them with Il grain of salt.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

This is going TO be "A great year in
politics, remarks n Washington CORE
spondent, who might be expected 10 be
more precise. Is it going to be II great
year in politics? Most of us have evi
dcncc enough TO convince us that ii is
n great year in politics already and the
year not yet half gone.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

In 1892 1t rained in Omaha every
day during the month of May. And
the year 1892 was one Of the most
prosperous in the annals of the Ne
braska farm.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Fears are expressed that the season
for the flowers which are depended OF
for Decoration day ceremonies has been
too far advanced this year. This, how.
over, is probably only the prophet of t,
raise in prices to be eXactcd by tie
-flnriStS
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
Better Than IA Pole Hunt.
rhI,a.rn uNriI,,,.

Peary is contemplating another journey to
Arctic regions, this time to bring back a
forty-ton meteorite he discovered last year.
This will be a welcome change from the
usual purpose of seeking the pole. An ex-
petition armed with derriCks will inspire
greater public confidence and insure more
speedy success to the relief party in locating
IL lntpr
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

1t Is intimated that those congress-
men who expect congress TO adjourn
before the great national conventions
are doomed TO disappointment. What
was the use then of voting themselves
clerk hire for the recess months if
there is to be practically no recess?
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

This is the week for the biennial CON
ference of the American Federation of
Women's Clubs TO meet in Louisville.
The new woman will occupy the fore
ground for a brief period of time at
any INTO.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Of his party ticket IL the democracy
should demand his nomination. Nor is
there very great likelihood that Mr..
Cleveland will be forced to a decision
on this disputed point.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

We haven't had n president of the
United States without a beard or nous.
tache since the days of Andrew John
son. The question is, Is the time of
the smooth-shaven president back upon
lis npninp
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Most of the adulteratcd butter on the
British market Is, we are told. i'm
ported from the continent. This is not
ut all tlattcrinG 10 American genius,
If Great Britain wants adulteratet
butter and is willing to pay for it the
land of the wooden nutmeg ought 10
be ready to accommodate it.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Nobody seems very anxious for a
presidential nomination this year eX-
cept at the hands of the republican
convention. Everybody knows that the
voters who fooled themselves four years
ago will not permit themselves to be
fooled again this time.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Under the two-thirds rule, the diff
Guilty of making II nomination ON the
first few ballots is wonderfully IN
creased. That is what Is causing Chi
cage hotel men to imagine that they
got ahead Of their st. Louis brethren
in the locations of the national con
ypntionS,
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Perhaps it is not altogether out of
place to remind the fair sex that nearly
five months of the leap year have passed
away and another leap year will not
appcnr until 1901.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
Trinmph of Anti-TONin.

St. Louis Republic.
The history of the anti-toXin treatment of
diphtheria in this city is a marvel Of medical
progress. The reduction of the death rate
from 60 to 4.6 per cent indicates a complete
triumph over this dread disease in the
near future, when the treatment becomes
generally expert.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

BY the time the Methodist confer
enc delegates are ready to dispense
for home they will have had experience
one of them III adept in practical
,,,1i.inu
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Speaker Reed IAN immOrtalize himself
still further by lending his assistance
to secure the enactment Of the eNpOsi.
ton bill before this week expires.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Scratch a free silver man on the back
and if he is old enough to have par
ticipated in public affairs twenty-five
years 8 you will find a galvanized
g~rnnnhaCknr.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

The car ought to have a coronation
every little while if it brings upon him
such a streak of generosity, l%cnicnCy
and mercy.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

TNlTlUeTpNlH IInltS.
If Emperor william, with his yacht, doesn't
drink happiness out of the America cup, he
might try one of our native schooners.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

1t may be we'll to remember that no
body has yet heard President Cleveland
say for the public information hat he
would not accept u place at tho head
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

As Il summer diversion, n campaign
In Cuba beats an outing in the III
tains all hollow.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

The Prcsbytcrians might have waited
until the Methodists had gone home.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Cincinnati Enquirer: "Can yu cook.
dearcst?' he asked in a moment of dreamy
abandon.
mo. and ! never intend to learn. shc
sou. fully answered.
Darling, you make me too happy he
murmured bliSSfully.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Yonkers Statesman; R~igEe-llollo' OLD
MANI
Risgs-Ycs, / guess l have. We were en-
gagged to the same girl, but you married her'
-
Punch: Photographer think this ia an
excellent p.rtralt Of your wife.
MIR. Smallweed-I don't know. Sort of re-
pose about the mouth that somehow doesht
seem right.
Texas Sitter: Neighbor-l hear your mas
ter has married again and is taking a priual
Uncle Mose-Don't know bout him takin'
a bride to dis one, boss, but he die tuck II
paddle to his fust wife, shure'
Cincinnati Enquirer: can yu cook,
dearcst?" he asked in a moment of dreamy
mo. and l never intend to learn" she
sou. fully answered. .
Darling, you make me too happy he
murmured blissfully.
Detroit Tribune: Fly with me-" he
II %cannot.' she answered.
"Then | was mistaken he bitterly ek-
claimed. You are not, after all, a bird"
Accordingly they were married under the
regular high church form.
Somerville Journal: Shelf you were the
asst man in the world, l wouldn't marry
you.
TIT btD iois II 1 CIV NllN h"'N ii''4'
in the world, my matrimonial arrangements
would be negotiated by an auctioneer.
Brooklyn Life: Jack, you used to be so
entertaining and brilliant before we were
married"
"Ya-as, l suppose l was; but you see l
had to rival a lot OF fellows who were al
well. I think III entice those fellows
back; they'll be glad enough to come
Indianapolis Journal: IF women have not
finer senslbilit!es than men," asked the de-
fender of her sex, then why is II that men
laugh and women weep at a wedding?'
Because they are not the ones VINO are
getting married." answered the coarse.
heartleSS man.
st. Louis Post: Come, old man; brace
up! There is no need Of y-ur feeling so
dependent just because Mss Greenblck re-
fused you. Remember the old saying, There
are just as good fish in the sea as ever were
caught"
Il know; but they're not all as wei fixed"
you should object to signing some checks
and leaving them for me to fill ont.
Husband-Not much. | would rather give
you what money there is in the bank.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: G~eorge-That
Maud-Do you think so? | think she has
a very SLY face.
Georgia. sly face?
Maud mean the kind OF a face that you
want to trust alonn in a pantry
with another girls pie,
Washington Times.
Laugh and the world laughs with you;
With your feelings the hue of indigo blue,
1t gives you the icy eye.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Detroit Tribune: ely with me- he
pleaded.
Il cannot" she answered.
Then | was mistaken" he bitterly eK-
claimed. You are not, after all, IA bird"
Accordingly they were married under the
REGULAR high church form.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Texas Sitter: Neighbour hear your mas
ter has married again and is taking a bridal
tour.
Uncle Mose-Don't know bout him takin'
a bride to dis one, boss, but he die tuck n
paddle to his fust wife, shure'
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24
lDlLS.

Yonkers Statesman: ~Riggs-llallo, OLD
mani
Briggs-Excuse me, sir; you have the adj
vantage Of me.
RigES-Ncs, | guess | have. We were en-
gagged to the same girl, but you married her.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Punch: Photographed think this is an
excellent p.rtralt Of your wife.
MIR. Smallweed-I don't know. Sort of re-
pose about the mouth that somehow doesn't
seem right.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Somerville Journal: Shelf you were the
last man in the world, l wouldn't marry
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Brooklyn Life: Jack, you used to be so
entertaining and brilliant before we were
married"
"Ya-as, l suppose l was; but you see l
had to rival a lot OF fellows who were al
ways hanging about"
We'll. / think III entice those fellows
back; they'll be glad enough to come
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Indianapolis Journals: IF women have not
finer sensibilit!es than men," asked the de
fender Of her sex, then why is II that men
laugh and women weep at Il wedding?'
Because they are not the ones who are
getting married" answered the coarse.
hearileSs man.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

He-Probably not. If | were the last man
in the world, my matrimonial arrangements
would be negotiated by an auctioneer.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

O~FFlCEos
Omaha. Tho Bee Building.
South Omaha, Singer Din, Cor. N and Nth su
Council BUNS. l6 North Main street.
Chicago OGice. 3t7 Chamber Of miner
New York, Rooms 10. IA and 10 Tribune bIdg.
Washington, 1907 + street. NJ, w.
CORRESPONDENTS;
Ai communications relating 20 news and edl-
toriul matter should he addressed; To 'hS Editor.
BUSINESS LETTERS;
All business letters and retnittances should ne
addressed to The Bee Publishing company,
Omaha. Drafts. checks and D~ostoiice orders 70
be made payable to the order u the company.
THE REL PUBLISHING
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

st. Louis Post: Come, old man; brace
up There is no need of yur feeling so
respondent just because Mss Greenblck re-
fused you. Remember the old saying, There
are just as good fish in the sea as ever were
caught"
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

New York Herald: Wife, don't see why
you should object. to signing, some checNs
and leaving them for me to fill ont.
HuSband-Not much. | would rather give
you what money there is in the bank.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Cleveland Plain Dealer: GeOree-That
Miss illwoo has a charming expression.
Maud-Do you think SO? | think she has
a very SLY face.
Georgia. sly face?
Maud mean the kind OF a face that you
wouldn't want to trust alOnn in a pantry
with another girls pie.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-05-24

Washington Times.
Laugh and the world laughs with you;
But when you indulge III "A cry,
With your feelings the hue of indigo blue,
IL piNnG Won the lev eve.