The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-10
MACHINE MADE LTTERATuRE.
Recipes for Tales Cooked TO order.
Scotch Broth, Society Hash, and
PIOus Pudding.


From the Pail Mall Gazette.
The production OF that kind OF printed
matter which we proudly call Modern
Literature" is so much a question of me
chanics in these days that It is full time
for the compilation of a comprehensive
guide that would save young writer's from
the blunders inseparable from inexperi-
ence. Through the lack OF such a work
the beginner in literature goes founder
ing through all the mistakes of his pre-
decessors, and often attains middle age
before he knows what he is fit for. The
professors of English literature in our
universities would be better employed In
drawing up rules for the production Of
the new literature than in delivering elab-
crate dissertations upon the works OF
poets and prosateurs Of past generations
who are studiously ignored nowadays by
all but those determined to fail in lit
erature. Lack Of reverence for the past
in any form is so pronounced a charac-
teristic of the age that young authors
cannot be expected to take a deep inter-
est in writer's who are dead and buried
years ago. II is the Giving present.
that alone concerns the callow hedging
author of to-day, and his work would
be much simplihed II such a guide were
available. No sooner has the youthful
verb agree with its nomlnative in num-
Der and person with comparative ease
than he leaps to the hasty conclusion that
he Is born genius. This Is the most
critical time in his life, and It is precisely
at this period that the guide becomes a
desideratum. His propositions may gov
ern the objective case with painful reg
ularity. The verb ito be" may have the
same case after it as before it, in quite
a normal fashion, and yet his book may
provoke contemptuous language from the
irate critics, and prove dead failure
from the want of little reasonable
guidance. In default of a regularly framed
guide of the kind indicated, the follow
ing hints may be useful.
Scotch Broth-Take one old woman in
country village-Scottish by preference,
Scotland 1t doesn't matter. She must have
a cottage with window in 1t and as She
should be a confirmed invalid, the whole
world, of course must pass before this
window. There must also be kailyard in
the vicinity to give local color and smell.
The village heroes and heroines may be
anybody, provided they have no traces of
originality. Care must be taken to remove
the faintest suspicion OF regular plot
frt.yn the story or the broth will be spoiled
beyond remedy. The family potato, the
village pump, the kirk door and the tav-
ern are to be shredded small and mixed
well through the pot so that they DO not
interfere with each other. To give the
proper Scotch flavor 1t Is necessary to Gull
tivate the art of misspelling correctly; but
this becomes easy to the ignorant young
writer. His chief danger will be the temp
tation to spell difficult words of one sylla-
BILE in the ordinary fashion. The best plan
is to spell these words in any way that is
certainly not English and they will pass
for Scotch with most readers. A few
tears added discreetly will neutralize any
tendency to Scotch wut," which is al
ways dangerous. The mixture Is specially
agreeable to English palates. Serve up in
one volume, crown. octave, 6 shillings.
New Irish Stew-This Is q. great improve
ment upon the old-fashioned Irish dishes
provided by extinct writers like Maria