davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01
MISCELLANEOUS.
WOULD SILVER HAVE DEPREClA.
TED IF 1T HAD NOT BEEN
DEMONETIZED2

This question is frequently asked,
and ii Is one that should not be an
swered in dogmatic way.
Political economy is not an exact
science, and just what would or
would not have occurred under diff
ferent cOnditins should not be af-
fined with too much self-assurance,
for there are always some elements
Of uncertainty involved. Nor should
those who make the inquiry be too
exacting in their demand for positive
proof. In such matters all we can
do is take the known facts and en-
deavor to draw correct conclusions
from those facts. An attempt will
be made to deal with the question In
this spirit.
The first point to be determined is,
what ia meant by " depreciation ?"
L" Depreciation means a lessening
in value or in quality. The equal.
ity" Of silver, we know, has not
changed. Whether its value has or
not depends upon what we compare
1t with. If we compare it with gold
1t certainly has shrunk In value
about one. half. If we compare 1t
with commodities 1t has deprecated
very little, If at all. An ounce of
silver will exchange for nearly as
many manufactured goods as 1t
would In 1773. and of our great ex-
port agricultural staples it will actu-
on nV ho
normal conditions the tendency of
land Is to rise in value because of the
increase of population. Allowing
for this tendency, it is probable that
silver has held Its own when COM
pared with land. There are parts of
the country where land Is actually
worth less, measured in silver bull
lion, than II was in 1870. For the
proper consideration Of this point 1t
Ia sufficiently accurate to say that
compared with property in general,
silver has about the same exchange
value as 1t had twenty-five years ago.
If there has been any decline 1t Is
very small.
On the other hand, the exchange
value, ]. e., purchasing power OF gold
has enormously increased. Compared
with silver, 1t has nearly doubled. II
we consider those two things alone II
Is impossible to say whether gold has
gone up or silver down. We only
know that they have changed In
their relations to each other. But
when we extend the comparison
farther and find that gold will also
buy very nearly twice as much OF
produce in general, we receive new
light. Again, we may say that com
modities have gone down or tha
gold has gone up, because value II
merely relative term. But wher
we come to consider the cause of TIT
change, an entirely different question
arises.
1t is perfectly obvious that tn
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

WHEN HE STOPPED PAYMENT.
There was civil action in the law
courts some time ago, mainly con-
corning some money matters.-
The plaintiff stated calmly in the
witness box that his financial posi-
tion had always been satisfactory.
Counsel for the other side rose
with a truly portentious air and in
CURED if he had ever become bank
rupt.
Plaintiff said he had not.
Pray be careful, sir. Remem-
ber, you are on oath. Do you mean
to tell the court you have never
stopped payment ?"
Well," was the reply, "now that
you come to call 1t to my mind,
believe did on one occasion.o
Ah, thought we should arrive
at it presently" and the court took
long draught of water, in an i'm
pressive and theatrical way. "Now,
sir, when did that happen ?"
After 1 had paid all my debts"
was the crushing reply.
The court fairly shrieked with
laughter, and the usher was SO
stricken with merriment that he was
far from restoring order.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

cent dollar" of which we hear so
much, would be impossible. If sill
yer rose until the bullion worth of
the dollar was rs cents and at that
point we found ourselves with a sill
yer currency exclusively, it would
simply mean corresponding rise of
prices-the very thing that almost
every business man in the country
is praying for. But there is scarcely
room for reasonable doubt that par
ity would be restored. 1t is certainly
hard to see how it could make things
worse to try it.-The National BIZ
D,etuUisf.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

THE RULING PAssIoN.-A retired
humorist one day ventured into a
cotton mill, and while In an un-
guarded moment he was explaining
some of his post mortem jokes to an
innocent operative, he was drawn
into the ponderous gearing and dread
fully crushed. They combed what
they could of him out of the ma
chinery, and spread the effects on
the floor.
Who ia 1t ?" was the anxious in
guiry as the crowd gathered around.
Nobody could answer.
Then the eyes of the humorist
slowly opened, and his lips moved.
There is a good reason why no.
body recognizes me-" the humorist
painfully whispered.
A sympathetic bystander bent
down his ear.
Why is to" he asked.
Because" explained the humor.
ist, seeing an opportunity to steal
home, " because was travelling In
cog"
And then a smile like a summer
cloud played for an instant over his
features, and he was gone. He never
spoke again.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01
POETRY.
NO PLACE FOR BOYS.

what can boy do, where can a boy
II he's always told to get out of the
He cannot sit here, and he cannot stand
The cushions that coyer that fine rock
ing-chair
Were put there, Of course, to be seen
and admired
a boy has no business to ever be tired.
lhe beautiful roses and flowers that
On the floor of the darkened and deli
Are not made to walk on-at least. not
by boys;
The house is noplace, anyway, for their
noise.
Yet boys must walk somewhere; and
what if their feet,
Sent out of their houses, sent into the
street,
Should step round the corner and pause
at the door
Where other boys feet have paused Of
ten before;
Should pass through the gateway of
SlIJeTlDR llgnl
Where jokes that are merry and songs
that are bright
Ring out warm welcome with flatter-
ing voice,
And temptingly say, " Here's a place for
the boysl"
All, what if they should? What if
your boy or mine
Should cross o'er the threshold which
marks out the line
'Twlxt virtue and vice, 'twixt pureness
and sin,
And leave all his innocent boyhood
within?
Oh, what If they should. because you
you and 1,
While the days and the months and the
years hurry by,
Are too busy with cares and with life's
fleeting joys
To make round our hearthstone place
for the boys?
There's a place for the boys. They
will find it somewhere
And If our own homes are too daintiIy
fair
For the touch of their fingers, the
tread of their feet,
They'll find it, and find it, alas in the
street,
Mid the gildlngs of sin and the glitter
Of vice;
And with heartaches and Iongings we
pay dear price
For the getting of gain that our life
time employs
If we fail in providing place for the
boys.
A place for the boys-dear mother, I
pray,
AS cares settle down in our short
earthly way,
Don't let us forget, by our kind, loving
deeds,
To show we remember their pleasures
and needs
our souls may be vexed with
problems of life,
And worn with besetments and toiling
and strife,
Our hearts will keep younger-your
tired heart and mine
If we give them place in their inner
most shrine;
And to life's latest hour twill be one
of our joys
That we kept small corner-a place
for the boys.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01
Weather Proverbs about Birds.

If birds in general pick their
feathers, wash themselves, and fly
to their nests, expect rain.
Birds and fowl oiling their feath-
ers, indicates rain.
When birds cease to sing, rain and
thunder will probably occur.
Birds flying in groups during rain
or wind, indicates hail.
Blackbirds bring healthy weather
Blackbirds' notes are very shrill
in advance of rain.
A solitary turkey-buzzard at q
great altitude, indicates rain.
If the rooster crows more than
usual, or earlier, expect rain.
BOOSTERS are said to clap their
wings in an unusual manner before
rain, and hens to rub in the dust and
seem very uneasy.
If the crows make much noise and
fly round and round, expect rain.
One crow flying alone Is sign Of
foul weather; but if crows fly in
pairs, expect fine weather.
Cuckoos hallooing on low lands,
indicates rain; on high lands, indi-
Gates fair weather.
The cuckoo In April opens his bill :;
in May, he sings all day; in June,
he alters his tune; come August !;
go he must.
When fowls roost in daytime, ex-
pect rain.
When the hen crows expect a
storm within and without.
When you see geese in water wash
n hn
Geese wash and sparrows fly in
flocks before rain.
When the roosters go Growing to bed,
They will rise with watery head.
If rooster crows on the ground,
1t is sign of rain if he crows on
the fence, it is a sign of fair weather.
A growing rooster during rain, in
dicates fair weather.
Birds singing during rain, indicate
fair weather.
Buzzards flying high, indicate fair
weather.
Domestic fowls dress their feath-
ers when the storm is abeut to cease.
Kites flying unusually high are
said to indicate fair weather.
Larks, when they sing long and
fly high, forbode fine weather.
IF owls hoot at night, expect fair
weather.
If owls scream in foul weather, it
will change to fair.
When quails are heard in the even
ing, fair weather is indicated for
next day.
IF storks and cnanes fly high and
steady, expect fair weather.
When the thrush sings at sunset, a
faia day will follow.
When men war hawks fly high,
1t is n sign of a clear sky;
When they fly low,
Prepare for q blow.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01
Notice.

I HAVE returned home to remain
l. this fall and winter. Ihaye located
IN DR.. s. Ii. Austin's Office, OD Main
street, to work at my trade. Work
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction.
Also still continue my Oculist business.
Will call on any parties who desire
Glasses, if they will let me know.
have also added to my line Of busi-
ness repairing of all kinds OF Sewing
Machines. Also all kinds OF material
for them on hand. All work guaran-
teed. Bring on your machines.
Very respectfully,
j. A. LOWE,
Oct. 24-tf. Jeweler & OpticIan.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

THE following is told OF an old
lady who had her hair cut Off in a
severe illness and wore a wig in its
place. She was staying in a conti-
mental hotel, and one day noticed
gentleman looking curiously at her
hair. Soon after, on some excuse,
he crossed the room to behind where
she sat. She calmly got up, turned
around, and, lifting her hair from
her head, said, "Yes. sir; 1t is a
wip,O
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.

WE are now prepared to do TIN
" WORK Of all kinds. Nothing
but first-class meterial used. Satisfac-
tion guaranteed. Give us trial and
be convinced that we mean what we
say. ROOFING and SPOUTING a
speciality. Shop in the rear Of Law q
Handley's.
MCCLEARY 8 DARNELL,
Aug. 25-1y. Lewisburg, w. Va.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

IN Chicago minister recently
preached sermon on Gods tender
wisdom in caring for all, and illus
trated his point by saying that He
knows which of us grows best In the
sunlight, and which must have shade.
"You know you plant roses in the
sunshine" he said, Sand heliotrope
and geraniums; but It you want
your fuchias to grow you must keep
them i'm a shady nook" After the
sermon a woman came up to him,
her face glowing with pleasure
"Oh, doctor, Pm 30 grateful for
that Sermon" she said, clasping his
hand and shaking it warmly. His
heart glowed for q moment-only
for moment, though. "Yes, she
went on fervently, ~ never knew
before what was the matter with my
fuchias."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

THE CHINAMAN AND THE PIANO.
There Is a Chinaman who has q
laundry up town who went to a
musicale few days ago. The press
agent for the show struck up quite
an acquaintance with John, and gave
him ticket, so John went.
happened to be in the laundry
when John returned from the enter
tainment. He and his partner have
not been in this country very long,
and it was the first time John had
heard a piano. won't attempt to
give the dialect, but this is the way
he described the instrument to his
fellow-countryman:
"They had four-legged beast
which the people could make sing
at will. A man or woman, or even
a feeble girl sits down in front of the
animal and steps on its tail, while at
the same time hitting its white teeth
with his or her fingers, and then the
creature begins to sing. The singing,
though much louder than a bird, is
pleasant to listen to. The beast does
not bite, not does it move, although
it was not tied up during the whole
evening""
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

SCENE: The bar parlor of the
Prince George, Brighton, England.
Pipes and beer all around. An
old salt saying: "I've got q riddle
to ask you chaps. Ifa 'erring and
'alf cost three farthings, low much
could you buy for sixpence?" Pro-
found silence, and much putting of
pipes. Presently voice from the
corner" say, Bill, did you say
'errings? ?" Yes, said 'errings."
"Drat 1t, I've been a-reckoning of
mackerel all this ere timep'
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01
NUMBER 10.

A DECEPTIVE NEGRo.-Uncle Ja-
son was summoned to appear before
court to give testimony in case in
which 1t was his interest to be iden-
titled. When the time for the trial
came, says Texas .Siftings, Jason
sent the following note to the Judge:
Can't come, sab. Use lynn in
bed wild broken hip"
The next day a deputy sheriff
saw Uncle Jason on the street.
"Tou trifling rascal" said the
judge, Il ought to send you to the
penitentiary."
What fur, judge?"
For lying to this court"
didn't lie to de cou't.s
"You did. Said that you we're
lying in bed with broken hip"
81 wuz, judge"
"How did you get we'll so quick ?"
"Oh. dar want nothin' de matter
wild me-"
"Then you have lied to the court"
mo, sab, 1 hain't. My son broke
his hip t'other day, and l wuz lynn
in bed wild him."
Take that fool away"
"Thank yer, judge. De white
folks doan un'erstan' er thing till
airter it's splained, but den dey see
it wild or mighty bright eye."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

THE SLATE WAS MADE Up
"I'm in a great hurry" said the
high schoolboy as he sat down to
dinner. "I've got to dress and get
right off. There's a new bicycle
club, and Pm to be voted in tonight"
His mother, who was something
of club woman, demonstrated :
" You mustn't be there if your
name IS to come up; that isn't club
etiquette. Besides, suppose you
shouldn't be elected ?"
That's all right" said the high
schoolboy, swallowing with diff
Guilty considerably larger piece of
bread than good manners sanctioned.
Dick Hendryx is president, and
he's putting me through. There's
only seven in the club, and one fell
low is in my class, and he'll vote for
me; and another wants to borrow
my lantern next week, and he'll
vote for me; and Dick says if the
others don't he'll punch their faces"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

BUNsoN (amazed)--That your
uncle! Why, man, you told me
your uncle had both his legs carried
away at Bull Run! JimsOn-So he
did. He carried them away himself,
pretty fast, tell you!
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

IF two cyclists started from the
City Hall, one who could ride twenty
five miles an hour, at ten O'Clock,
and the other, who could ride thirty
miles an hour, at ten-thirty O'Clock,
when would they como together ?"
was the question asked the boys'
class by a Brooklyn teacher the
other day.
There was an oppressive silence
before little Johnnie, who was near
the foot of the class. put up his
right hand, signifying that he had
solved the problem without the aid
of slate or pencil.
WE'LL" said the teacher expect
antly. "where would they meet,
Johnnie? ?'
"At the first saloon they come to"
was the demoralizing reply.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

A CERTAIN man, not quite free
from lntoxication, came to President
Lincoln, and said: " President, I
have come to ask you for salaried
position, q sinecure.n Lincoln, who
had a supreme contempt for intem-
perance, answered coolly, /" My dear
sir, there's something you need a
great deal more than you need a
sinecure; and that Is a aCater cure.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

HOPE has q creditable complexion;
1t throws a generous contempt upon
ill-usage, and looks like handsome
defidauce of misfortune.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

"OH, yes, my husband has been
collector of curios and such things
for a number Of years." "Was he
In that business when he married
your" eyes, indeed" "I thought
SO.O
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

"THEY don't seem to understand
the theory of this Government in
some localities" What makes
you think 80 2" why, every time
they get hold of good pair of bel
lows they think they haye discoy-
cred material for a congressman.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

Young MRS. GREENE--Henry
dear, do you think so much bread
and treacle is good for Harry?-
Young Mr.. Greene-Certainly, 1t is
good for him. Don't you know
"bread Is the staff of life." "Ye.e-es;
but 80 much treacle, you know p'-
/" Well, what of it? He doesn't eat
the treacle; he leaves that on the
door-knob.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01

PRESIDENTIAL BILLS.-Comp pared
with those ofthe President of France
the emoluments of the President of
the United States are considerably
less. Every one knows that the
chief executive of this country re.
ceives a salary of $50, 900 a year, but
the other expenditures for which
the nation allows him people are, in
general, less cognizant of. His pri.
vate secretaries, clerks, doorkeepers
and servants cost $50, 900 annually !;
$4,000 is at the Presidents disposal
for buying furniture for the White
House, and for keeping it in repair {;
SO, 900 is allowed for fuel, and 81, 900
for maintaining the greenhouses up
to the mark. The total cost is, there
fore, about 100000 per year.
The bare salary of the President
of the French republic is $12O, 900,
or 1000 more than this country's
total expenditure for a chief execu-
tive. In addition to this, the French
President is allowed the services of
two military and three civil secreta-
ries, small army of men-servants
with wages and board paid by the
State,) house linen, fuel and light
His supply of game also costs him
nothing, but is so plentiful that he
can sell nearly $4,000 worth year
after his own wants are satisfied,
valuable preserves in the forests of
Marley and Ramboullet being set
apart for the Presidents use. Even
his musical and theatrical tastes are
paid for by the public, for he has a
box both at the opera and the Thea
ter Francais. IF he dees not care to
use these boxes, however, the Presi-
dent and his family can enjoy the
performance at home by telephone
communication.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-01
Jake Blossom.

"Speaking of great talkers," said
Uncle Simon, shuffling his chair and
calling for another dose Of whiskey
and syrup, "reminds me of Jake
Blossom, that came out TO the Gunni-
son country. Jake could beat any,
body talking that ever L heard tell
OF. He was born down in MizZoury
somewhere.
was quite young man, and he went
right to the front. Couldn't help it.
He talked his way right through
everything. There wasn't no preach
ers then, and Jake did the talkin' at
funerals, lynchings, weddings, polit-
ical conventions, dedications of new
saloons, and he was particularly
strong on the Fourth of July. He
could read the Declaration of indie.
pendence SOS you would want to
start right off and shoot the liver out
OF the first Englishman you could
clap your eyes on. Argufy There
never was a man in the State of Colo
RADIO could argufy like Jake Blossom.
He would stand up against bar and
discuss the law and the Constitution
until the barkeeper would fall dead
or the liquor would play out, one or
the other.
One night Jake fell dead himself,
right in front of Blind Bob's bar
Fell down like as if he had been
shot with a word seventeen syllables
long right between his teeth. You
better believe there was cOnsterna-
ton in that camp. They picked him
up and laid him on pool table,
There was a good many said he
wasn't dead at all that he'd come to
If he only had little time and a
drop of something. We tried to run
dose of brandy down his throat,
but it wouldn't go. We stood around
and discussed long time what to do.
There wasn't doctor anywhere
within human knowledge. We didn't
want to take him out and plant him
If he was still living.
All at once Bill Duffy, who was
town clerk, such as we had, pushed
through and looked at Jake. He
knowed Jake better'n any other man
in town. They'd had many a hot
argument together. Duffy stepped
up to the table, leaned over Jake and
shouted in his nigh ear:
It's my opinion that the demone-
tization of silver was the greatest
mistake the Government of this here
United States ever made.'
Then Bill stood up and watched
Jake's face. The corpse never moved
muscle. A tear stole into Bill's
eye, he turned around and looked at
all of US, and he said:
Boys, he's dead; you can bury
him.'n
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-11-21
ORIGIN OF STRAW BAIL.

The origin of the familiar phrases,
STRAW BALI and ''rlan Of straw" is a
most curious one. 1t dates back 200 wears,
when the practice of entering worthless
bail was common. The exact methods
have not been transmitted to posteIity, but
in several old English works is to be
found reference to them In one of
these-Fieldng's Life of Jonathan Wild"
the thief catcher-we read that Jonathans
aunt married a man "who was famous
for so friendly disposition that he was
bail for above a hundred persons in one
year. He had also the remarkable honor
of walking into Westminster hall with a
straw in his SHOE" 1t seems that at one
time when English lawyers wished to pro-
cure witnesses with elastic consciences or
men VINO would 90 bail for their clients,
they went into Westminster hail. into
which the principal courts of law opened,
and there would quickly recognize the
men they waited by glancng at their shoes,
from which protruded straw or two, thus
indicating their calling. Because of this
trade mark, so to speak, these professional
WITNESSES or bailgoers became known as
'men of straw, OF ones who were willing,
for consideration, to enter "straw bail -
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1896-11-21
NAME OF BRITISH WAR SHIPS.

The names of nine sister British war
ships-or brother ships, more properly
lately built or now building, are Majestic,
Magnificent, lllustrous, Victorious Mars,
Jupiter, Prince George, Caesar and Hanni-
bal. To match this remarkable tumble of
names one has got to 90 back to Moses,
General Grant and Pontius PLATE in the
roll of Mark Twain's kittens. No doubt
her Majesty has so many ships now that
the more likely names are all used up, still
it would appear that if she put her mind
on the matter and used some system and
employed efficient help, she might hit on
more significant contemporaneous and
timely British names than those above. Our
American fashion of naming ships after
States and cities seems more sensible
lIarper's Weekly.