The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-01-19
AN I%MPECUNIOUS ONE.
THE GOLD GAME OF BLUFF HE PLAYED
ON THE CONDUCTOR.

10 an Actor-Oh. 1t Was wickedi
He sat in n hotel smoking room. The
air was blue, but men were happy
happy and reminiscent. He stretched
out his legs, thrust his hands deep into
his pockets, aud between the puffs spun
this yarn:
"For dead cold. Icy nerve I had al
ways thought We travelling men took the
cake. But the prettiest gam Of bluff I
ever saw was put up by a man who was
neither n drummer nor % reporter, but
merely an overworked bank clerk who
had applied for a leave Of absence and
gone south to reoupernte. He had drawn
Il certain sum for the trip and resolved
mot to exceed it. Foolishly he had neg-
ilected to buy OIL excursion ticket, argu-
ing that he might want to return by u
different route. And then, as u matter
of course, he found that he had spent his
money not wisely but too we'll, SO that
he was hundreds Of miles from home,
ticketless and friendless and we'll nigh
penniless. His checkbook was useless,
for no one knew him and he must be
identified.
"All this l learned later on. My &C
iqu%aintance with him began on the train
OF one Of the southern roads, when he
asked me to stake him enough to see
him home. l had already been touched
several times thnt trip, SO, expressing ev-
cry confidence in his probity, I declined
the honor ho would do me. He tried
several other passengers with q like re-
suit. Then lie gave it up, but made us
all promise not to interfere with any
game he tried to play.
Presently tho conductor camo along.
Tho impecunious ono, his hat cooked
over one eye, was peacefully sleeping in
one corner Of his seat, leaning toward
an open window. Tho conductor shook
him, gently at first, so that he stirred,
and his hat dropped farther over his
eye, but he did not wake. Then more
roughly, saving, Come, sir, your ticket,
please
AT that the ~ilnpecunious one awolse
with a big start. His hat flew out of tho
window, and ho flew into q great rage.
Ho swore at the conductor and abused
him up and down, him and his fore
fathers unto tho third and fourth gener-
alton. What did he mean by waking
him i'll that way? Didn't he know that
rest was invaluable to an invalid? That
such Il sudden, rude awakening might be
fatal to Il weak heart? Wero his nerves
of no account? And now he had lost his
hit and would catch cold. 1t was out
rageous.
"Tho conductor bowed before the
storm, and when it had somewhat abat-
ed offered to replace the hat mt the first
stopping place. And now, sir, let me
SEQ your ticket, please
"The iinpecunious one folt in all his
pockets, Went through them all again
with a bcwildcred air. Finally he broke
out: Why. you idiot, You, all my tick.
cts, not only on this road, but straight
through 10 Chicago, were in the lining
Of my hat, and you knocked it out of
the window. I'm i'll II pretty pickle
now. | harcn't enough with mo to buy
n fresh set. This piece of idiocy will
cost you your job. I'll report you to the
company and teach you to be moro care
full how you startlo q nervous man.
"The conductor tried to soothe him,
offered to take him through to the end
of the division. But the impecunious
one would not be appeascd. Much good
it would do him to be landed in some
little nearby, one horse southern town
hundreds of miles from nowhere. He
wanted to get through to Chicago. He
must get through. Ho had an appoint
,ment there that was worth thousands Of
dollars. Finally tho conductor, by this
time badly frightened, promised to get
him tickets or passes all tho way
through, and the ~impecunious ono sub
sided. And to the end of that road tho
conductor, having replaced tho doar do
parted hat, maintained an humbly apol-
ioSetic tone that would have wrung tears
OF blood from Il stone.
"And it was only q bluff all so we'll
carried out hat tho conductor was
completely taken in, and tho rest of us
rubbed our eyes and wondered whether
tho lmpecunious one's attempt to touch
us was not, after all, a dream.
Later on, travelling over that same
road. 1 told the conductor how llo had
been worked. And he said he knew it,
for shortly after that trip he had receiv-
ed a letter and q check, the former con
Tossing the fraud, tho lattor paying him
the full price of tho passage. And he
added: That fellow vas a genius. If he
had made n fuss at first about his tick
cts, I'd have been Oh to him in a min
ute, but his tickets were forgotten. 1t
was his nerves, his health, his heart, his
hat hat were of importance. And to
think that he had no nerves, or health,
or hat-or heart. Oh, it was wicked!
But that man has missed his vocation.
iHe ought to be Oh the stage "-Chica-
go Tribune.