The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-01-22
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The upper hand-A foreman. Puck.
High life The signal service Off"
GERS. Puck.
Tried by adversely art of bor-
rowing.
Cobble-"Have you got good law
yer?" Stone No; but he's smart"
"What did the doctor do for your I.
complaint?" "Told me the name of
it. Puck.
A cynic is q man who has discovered
neither the worlds greatness nor his
own littleness. Puck.
A man is like razor, because you
can't tell how sharp he can be until no
is strapped. Texas Siftings.
Sat On: May l take this
seatP" Maiden (from Boston, icily)--
"Where do you wish to take it, sir?"
Puck.
She says she can't afford u cab
Expenses she must curb.
Yet when she walks upon the street
Her carriage is superb.
New York Herald.
Hoax-"What makes your son yell
and shout about the house that way?"
Joax--"Hes getting in training to
enter college next year. "-Philadel-
phia Record.
New Woman --"Husband, | need
change. The doctor says my Lille is
too monotouous l need excitement"
Husband--"TrY staying at home. -
Detroit Free Press.
Countrywoman-"I want my boy on
the picture too. Portrait Painter
"Then it will cost eighty marks more"
Conntrywoman-"But | am going to
hold him on my lap!"
Foreman Through the speaking
tube)-"Where do you want that stuff
about Turkey put?" Night Editor
yelling back)--"On the inside, of
course. - Chicago Tribune.
First Kid--"Anyhow," never had
no granddaddy hung for hoss stealin'."
Second Kid-"Don't care if he wuz.
Hoses wuz worth stealin' in them
days, ,"-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Judge -"Defendant, can you adj
vance anything more toward your de-
tense ?" Defendant -"No, your honor.
had only 81 and have already given
that to my lawyer, -Das Echo.
81 wonder if that diamond Nudge
has is of the first water?" 81 doubt
it. 1t has been soaked SO many times
that it must be of the tenth or eleventh
water by this time. indianapolis
journal.
elise" "My dearest Stella haven't
seen you for four months. How is
your Charles?" Stella-"Oh, my
Charles has changed very much since
then. His name is now Robert ~
Fliegende Blaetter.
Codger-"Fuuny that such a quiet.
domestic sort of a chap as You should
remain a bachelor. Didn't you ever
think of marrying?" Solus-"Ye /;
perhaps that is the reason | never mar.
rIed. Boston Transcript
Fond Parent-"Here are two quar-
ters TOR you, Bobby, to put in your
little bank" Bobby-'I'dr rather have
half if you've got it, Pop" Fond
Parent" "What for?" Bobby-"'Cos
it won't go through the hole. Puck.
"The man / mary must be both
brave and clever" said the sweet girl.
"When we were out sailing, returned
the adoring youth, "and upset, I
saved You from watery grave"
''phat was brave, admit, but it was
not clever. ayes, 1t was; upset
the boat on purpose, "You dar-
ling ?'-rit-B Bits
Mrs. Newritch-" "Henry, you gavo
yourself away badly at the dinner
table tonight. Do You know you
were actually eating with your knife?"
Mr.. Newritch-"Nol was /, though?
I hope none of our guests noticed it.
Mrs. Newritch -"Oh, / don't care so
much about them our English
butler did. Puck.
It was in the Louvre She had been
gazing at and enthusing over the pic.
lures for hours, and finally, with a
gasp OF envy, she cried; "Oh, dear I
Why is it that we have so fow old mas.
ters and so many old maids in Amer
ica?" 81 guess it's because the old
maids spend all their lives painting
themselves, said her companion, un-
oallontlv Harnpr's DraUar