The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1896-01-01

gay. and can lay the small 'tlnttery to
ourselves that we held the whip rein
In the admiration Of the fair sex. but we
never Inspired true affection. Whyf
Well, ask the married ladies YOU once
knew us society girls, as you vaguely
call them. They were not the FOOLS
we took them TO be. While we were
buIzlng around them, whispering SOFT
nothings In their ears. and called II
love making, some sturdy, quiet. steady
going young man suddenly entered the
field, and we were not In Il d minute,
compared with his solid worth. II "
not n new story The cestus-glrdled
Venus surrounded as she was by the
curled Hyperlons OF Olympus finally
espoused Vulcan, the most ill-fRvored'
OF the gods bestowed on him by Jupiter
In gratitude for the excellent quality
OF thundorbolts the Industrious snithy
had forged for him. But Vulcan WINS
competent artisan, and we can readily
believe that Venus never wept tears OF
regret over her husbands forges. or
hurled teacups at his head at the table.
Look around among your married
aequaintances and see II any Of them
made mistakes. Talk about sour old
maids, am of the opinion that
grumbllng bachelor like you can get
more misery out OF his belated condt-
tlon In one night than they suffer in
years. You are also grumbllng about
the vlleness and insincerity OF the
world, yet my dear comradc, the world
has an incomprehensible amount OF
common sense. Don't blame II for your
failures and dlsappointments. The
world Is getting along comfortably
enough. II is the poor weak mortals
who defy its standards. abuse Its privl-
leges, fall short OF Its measure that re-
vile It. and those who tiaSrRntly vio-
late the code OF social Jurisprudence.
No more laments from you. We are
bachelors, and we deserve to be-singed
moths OF an avenging fame ana the
bitiful victims Of miserable egotisn.
verltable types OF the cross-Gartered
and yellow stockinged Malvollo,"
well. Il any OF this company can't
see reflection of himself after that
without the aid of q mirror he is not
endowed with the intellect of the pls-
mire or the conception of the tumble
bug" was the oracular Intersection of
the cynic.
Braclng himself with some elort,the
philosopher agreed to agree on one
point, and that was the decadence OF
the custom OF New Years calls, when
everybody visited everybody. And"
said he, Il don't think 1t Is to be ser
iously. regretted. The custom has fall
en- into decay In every city. II was the
abuse OF the custom that finally worked
It's downfall, for with many 1t was only
a respectable debauch licensed by
the wine laden sldeboard. II also led
to a great deal Of promiscnous and un-
desirable acquaintance. In those good
old times" we hear SO much about,
young men used TO go calling in squads
OF three and four, and in their rounds It
was natural some houses would be vis-
tied where all would not be known, yet
the good breeding OF the hostess could
not bar those she waI not acquainted
with and admit those whom she knew.
There was no restraint, and the famil-
iaTity and license the custom engen-
dered was more than enough to bring
II under the pail OF being more honored
in the breach than in its observance. II
was then designated keeping open
house and ii was open house with all
the sandor imaginable. Hello! its
striking IL o'clock. Happy New Year,
viii we assassinate our stomachs
with guar OF nepenthe, before we
separate?'
1--WE will"
Then pour forth heavens wine Ida
can Ganymede. and fill the Daednl
cups with fire."
Gentlemen. TO you! Another evil
dence OF our Responsibility"
Good night"
Good night"