Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-07-29
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

Which ~ Dung Mr.. LOVeday sat IN
the park anXiOusly awaiting the young
lady. She had promised him to answer
that night, and he was wondering wheth-
er that answer would make him the
happiest of mortal men or plunge him
into misery.
AS she delayed her coming he unused:
Il wonder if she is making up her
complexion or her mind|'
Papa (sourly)- "Madge, I told you last
week that | didn't want you to see as
much of Mr.. Sucker in the future as you
have in the past"
Madge-"Oh, | assure you, papa, l
haven't I turn the gas clean out now
after 10 p. m."-Town Topics.
Just as a Mt. Sterling family had set
down to dinner, and while the head of
the family was saying grace, a hungry
tramp stole the pan of biscuit out of the
stove.
Moral: You should watch as wen as
pray.-Winchester CKy.) Democrat.
1t is a common saying that lovely
woman cannot keep a secret, but who
besides herself knows where her peck
eft is?
kiss you if l thought no one would see
me-"
She-"Shall l close my eyes?"
Somebody" she faltered, may come
between us"
His breast heayed.
Whoever would do such a thing" he
fercely exclaimed, would be comp
And with that he moved even yet near
er to her.
The man who was arrested for steal
ing mirror reluctantly admitted that he
had had a glass too much.
EEDor'+ vor1 tJ.,,Iy Horrv Won oouI6
induce one or two boys to come to Sun
day school?'
Il kin bring one along" he replied.
''De udder fellers in our alley kin lick
me. "-Household Words.
''You are not going to try to ride that
bicycle again after fall like that you
just had?'
Alice-"Yes. indeed l am"
Well. you don't know when you're
we'll off,
Those Foolish Questions We Ask
Mrs. Nowit Ito her husband who. with
razor in hand and face lathered. is stand
ing in front Of the mirror)-'What are
you doing, dear-sha ving?"
Mr.. Nowit (sarcastically)- I'm
trying to black the CRATE. Where are
you-at the circus or out sailing?"
Friend-"Magnifcent dog. that.'
Mr.. Subbubs-"Yes, he's a thorough
bred. | bought him for a watch dog.
Paid f15 for him.
Friend-"Well. he's worth it-splendid
animal, Splendid! Finest l ever saw.
But, by the way, what's this other dog
for? He's a mere mongrel. Fact is,
he's common, measly, NANCY cur"
Mr.. SubbubS-"Y-e-S. | had to get
him TO keep the thoroughbred from be-
ing stolen"
Modern Adventure-''Yes,'' said the
major, as he twisted his moustache, Il
have had some very exciting moments in
my life-big risks, and hairbreadth es-
capes. and all that sort of thing, you
know.
And in all innocence she exclaimed:
why, really, major, didn't know
you rode a bicycleo'
A lieutenant-colonel in the Irish brigade
was dispatched by the Duke of Berwick
to Louis XIV. with an account of some
irregularities among his troops at Fort
Kiel. His majesty, considerably an
noyed. exclaimed:
'.These Irishmen give me more trouble
than all the rest of my soldiers"
Your majestys enemies make the
same complaint" rejoined the officer.
ITO give the cold shoulder" is said to
have origin ated in a practice once COM
mon in France, and during the Norman
days in England also. When guest
had outstayed his welcome, instead of
the haunch of mutton or venison usually
served at dinner, cold shoulder of NUT
ton was placed before him as a hint that
he had better go.
Conversation was Aroused-Usually
when two little girls are thrown into
each others society it does not take them
long to get acquainted.
The other day, however. two young
maidens of Birkenhead, who were left
in the same room together, experienced
much difficulty in getting the CONVERSE
ton started. At last a bright thought
struck one of the girls, and she re-
marked cheerfully:
"My feet are bigger than yours"
That broke the ice