The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-03-28
DUNDER DONE AGAIN.
He Tells the Sergeant About His
Latest Adventure.
THAT OFFICIAL INFORMS HIM WHO


clasped behind his head and was lean
ing hack in his chair and watching the
movements of winter fly as it buzzed
around the mucilage bottle, when Mr..
Dunder entered the station and sa1uted ::
Chow you vhas, sergeant? I vhas
shust going by, you know?''
Somebody has taken you in again.
I suppose?'' said the officer after long
look at him.
Chow vhas I token in?" demanded
Mr.. Dunder. ''Do you belief I vhas
greenhorns all my life? If somebody
vhas a shwindler, can't ! tell it?''
Perhaps So
'>Of course can. In two weeks 7
throw oafer ten shwindlers oudt of my
place. You vhas always pitching into
me, but you vhas my frendt, und maybe
put you on to something good.
"Got good thing, eh?' queried the
sergeant as the fly got two legs fast and
he reached out and liberated him.
''Dot's What it seems to me. You
know dot book called Der Biggest Men
of America, don't you?'
"No, never heard of it.
"Vhell, she vhas two tousand pages
big, und she hat two tousand pictures
of de biggest men in dis country. She
vhas bound in calves, nit gold edges,
und she last fife hoonered years.
''Just two thousand of the biggest
men, eh?'
'sShust two tousand und no more.
Each enc has picture und page. It
tells who ne vhas und all aboudt him,
und when he vhas deadt his shildren
read dot book. I told dot agent to come
down und see you. Maybe you vhas big
enough to go in dot book if you like to.
Vhas he here?"
Ibid he call on your asked the SER
geant in reply.
''He didt. Last week he comes in my
place und says, vhas Carl Dunder. I
vhas. All right. He reads of me in all
der papers und comes up from Toledo to
see me. He doan' like to get dot book
oudt unless I vhas in it, und he shows
me der names of one tousand big men. I
see Shorge Washington, Abraham Lin
coin, Grofer Cleveland, und all sooch
men. :"
''And suppose he offered you page
between Washington and Lincoln, didn't
he?''
''How you know dot? Yes, he like
me on dot page. I talks NIT der oldt
womans, ind I talk nit Shake, und
finally I takes dot page. She comes
pooty high, bat if you vhas a big man
you hat to pay for it. Here is What he
writes aboudt me on dot page. Listen
while read:
"'Carl Dunder vhas born in Sherlnany
in 1916, und he comes oafer to America
in 1878.
sc When he goes by Detroit he likes
71+ 1o~ 5x4o
peesness, und vhas a great sooccess.
Der peoples like to run him for
a1dermans, but he doan' care for Office,
und vhas some honest mans.
He has one wife. who vhas treas
ure, und his only son Shake Will climb
oop to der top if he keeps on likes he
vhas.
Mr.. Dunder can It ride a bicycle ner
cut some pigeon wings on roller skates.
but he vhas good natured, cheerful und
ready to help others.
IF some war breaks oudt in America
he Will be found alongside der patriots,
a gun on his shoulder, flag in his hand
ind wish to perish in his enthusiastic
heart. Doan' you make no mistake on
dot Carl Dunderl
We like to say aboudt dis great
mans dot he vhas some greenhorns
when he first comes to Detroit, but by
und by he vhas SO sharp dot nobody can
beat him
'tDot vhas only a part Of her, SER
geant, - said Mr.. Dunder as he folded up
the paper and returned it to his pocket.
"Dot agent doan' hat time to write
some more until he vhas back in To-
ledo.
Chow much did you pay him, Mr..
Dunder?" queried the sergeant as the
fly got four legs stuck and was left to
free himself.
'fVhell. he asks feefty dollar, but see
ing she vhas me can haf it for TWEEN
dy."
"And you gave him the money!"
"Of course. He deals nit two tou-
sand big men, but he doan' trust, you
see. 1t vhas cash in advance from efery
body"
land he has gone away?"
81 expect he has. He haf to go back
to Toledo, you know. Would you like
to be in dot book, sergeant?"
"'Mr. Dnnder,'' said the officer as he
took sheeS of sandpaper from the
drawer of his desk, ''you can go back
into the captain s room with this.
''How you mean?''
lyon II find running water in there.
Soak your head for half an hour and
then sandpaper it. Get all the hair off,
all the skin off, all the meat of. Then
buck your bare skull against the wall. -
Sergeant, vhas-vhas 1 shwindled
some more?" gasped Mr.. Dunder as he
turned very white around the mouth.
Certainly. You are the softest snap
in America. It's a wonder you keep
the shoes on your feet. Go soak and
sandpaper and die. -
$3.50 vhas shwindled? vhas not
a big man? I doan' get in dot book?