Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-04-15
THE SPINNING WHEEL.

genus could nave overcome II. IeIl
that first interview his friend. No man
ever came under the charm of Lincoln's
personality without respecting him, and,
if allowed, loving him.
lone day, after we had become fairly
good friends, told him of my early prey
udice.
Mr.. Lincoln I said, 4 had heard
every mean thing on earth about you eX-
cept one. | never heard that you were
too fond of the pleasures of life Mr..
Lincoln sat for a moment strOking his
long cheek thoughtfully. and then he
drawled out in his peculiar Western
voice:
That reminds me of something that
a boy said to me when l was about 10
years old.
Once in while my mother used to
get some sorghum and some ginger and
mix us up a batch of gingerbread. 1t
wasn't often, and it was our biggest
treat. One day l smelled it, and came
into the house to get my share while it
was hot | found she had baked me
three gingerbread men, and | took them
out under hickory tree to eat them.
There was family near us that
was little poorer than we were and
their boys came along as | sat down.
Abe" he said, edging close, GIN
me man."
~ gave him one. He crammed it
into his mouth at two bites and looked
at me while l bit the legs from my first
one.
"'"Abe," he said, gimme that 9th
er'n.'
81 wanted it, but l gave it to him,
and as it followed the first one said:
'''''You seem to like gingergread!
ABE he said, earnestly. Il don't
s'pOse there's anybody on this earth likes
gingerbread as we'll as do" and, draw
ing a sigh that brought up crumbs, Il
don't s'pose there's anybody gets less of
il. $50
And the old politician said Mr.. Lincoln
looked as though the subject was ended.
Teacher-"This wicked King Henry
VIII then had his unfortunate Queens
head cut off," Johnny-"1 guess l know
why he cut her head off, teacher
''Why, JonnieY' "'Cause she wore a
high hat! Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Among a group of stories about eating
published in the Philadelphia Times this
one by Burr Macintosh is not half bad:
In the days before he was an actor man
he was in the far West with q lot of
a mine The richest men of the locality
gave them what they believed to be Il
grand blowout-the best the place could
provide-and one of them incautiously
remarked to one of the metropolitan Wis
itors: 'Reckon you couldn't beat this
much in the East?" Scornfully replied
the New Yorker: 'Of course you've
done the best you could, but the cost of
this feed wouldn't be enough to give
DelmOnico waiter tip" 1t was Il cruel
remark, and it sunk deep into the soul
of that little Western society. Later
business summoned the man to whom
the words had been spoken and one of
his companions to the vortex of Eastern
civilization, and they determined to go
to Delmonico's and paralyZe that hostel
ry with their wealth To them money
meant nothing They seated themselves
in the famous place, prepared to para
I'VE the rich New Workers. A waiter
approached and handed them the bill of
fare. One of them picked it up with a
carelss air, as though he had been fire.
quenting DelmOnicO's every day in his
life, and, casting his eye casually over
it.; suddenly started and exclaimed:
French" Don't lose your nerve" said
Bill, coolly. do the best you can. Par
alyZe them" He did Summoning the
waiter with a lordly air. he said: See
here, mister, bring me $40 worth of ham
and eggs" The verdict at the coroner's
jury upon the waiter is not recorded
The cause of his death was never ascer-
tanned. He simply fell dead.
Phil A. Del-"And was your friends
death unexpectedly"
Arizona Pete-"No, indeed. He had
been horse thief for years. New York
Herald.
Some time ago a travelling circus Wis
tied the town of Ayr, and, in connection
with a prize cOnundrum scheme of the
proprietor, a local spirit merchant, with
T-inI Of 06y- ficiI1 /:n1
of his whisky, offered a prize for the
best answer to the query, why So-and-
SOS whisky resembled the bridge across
the water of Ayr
A small committee, selected from the
audience, were to decide as to the best
answer. The prize was won by poor
boy. who replied as follows:
Because it leads across to the poor
house, from there to the Iunatic asylum,
and then on to the cemetery"
The publican had to pay over the cash,
much to his chagrin, he no doubt eX-
ferred to its age and strength, for which
the Aud Brig O. Ayr is famed.-London
Answers.
Tramp Cat dentists door)-''Please. sir.
could yer fill me teeth this morning."
Dentist-''With silver or gold?'
Tramp-"Cold roast turkey would do"
To Date.
Accident insurance companies are con-
templating putting an extra charge for
policies on those who are bicycle riders
but the necessity for such action is not
apparent, in view of the statistics on
this point gathered by the Wheel, which
has examined list of 1000 claims al
lowed by one of the largest companies,
and finds that the cause was falls on
pavements in 531 cases, carriage and
wagon accidents number 243, there were
Iii cut with tools and glass, in 90 cases
a weight of some sort fell on the person
injured, the bicycle accidents are 76.
Thus it seems that preson is seven times
as liable to hurts while walking on the
sidewalk as when riding bicycle on
the street, more than three times as
likely to be hurt in a wagon, and almost
twice as likely to be cut by glass or
tools.
-:o:-
Mrs. Grimble Ito her offspring)-
There you go, tracking the floor all over
with mud. Didn't tell you to wipe your
feet before you came in?"
Johnny-"Oh, nobody's blaming YOU.
ma; you did all you could ''-RoSton