The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1896-05-10
THE JOKE THAT FAILED.
IT WAS PRACTICAL, AND IT RR-
ACTED ON the JOKER.

The First Victim Was n Bicyclist whose
wheel Was Smashed by n Rider Pinyina
Novice on the Brooklyn Cycle Path, anA
the Last Victin Was Tho smnsher. S.
This is the story of a funny man. a knowing
man, ana n telephone. and the events happened
on the Brooklyn cycle path half way down ia
Concy Island on Saturday afternoon. The
funny man wns riding toward Coney Island.
and he was getting lots OF amusement out OF
his ride by pretending that he was a novice. and
sending his wheel from side to side in A way TO
send cold cbills up and down the backs OF
other riders. A dozen times he apparently mar.
rowly escaped running into other peopla. and
each time he would apologize with a serious
face, then turn and wink at two other Young
mon. who kept close behind him and evidently
enjoyed the performance. lie never did this
however, without following IL up by squirting
past tho persons he had alarmed. to show them
what u good rider he was.
Now. the cycle path broadens out at certain
points along the line. usually In front of rond
houses, and when the funny man with hia
friends reached n spot where there was plenty Of
room he began going around in wild circles NJ
grent speed. His apparent escapes were remark.
able. and. though people yelled at him to stop
making n fool OF himself, he only laughed, and
shouted that he guessed he knew what he wan
doing. Disaster was bound to come, and a good
looking young man. riding slowly up from the
island was the victim. He got in the periphery
of one of the funny mans wild circles. There
was II crash and mix-uu, and when the wheels
were pulled apart the funny mans machine was
found intact, while the others was considerably
injured. Neither man was hurt In the least, and
the funny mans friends were doubled up with
laughter. As for the funny man, he winked at
one OF his friends, and then proceeded to tell the
other man how sorry he was about 1t oil.
"Yes, that's all right" drawled the knowing
man. " but who's going to paw for all the dam.
age done to my bicycle p
Can you get 1t in shape to ride back to Brook.
lyn 2" asked the funny young man.
Il guess So" replied the other. but that's
not enough. Who's going to settle for the re-
pairs ~
why. I am. of course" said the funny man
grandiloquently.
Now. you ride right on to Brooklyn. and
when you reach FlatDush avenue go to Blanks
bicycle store. Tell them that Mr.. Jones sent
you there and that you want your wheel re-
paired. They know mpe very well there. and I'll
give you my card with a note telling them to
charge everything to me. I'd go with you my.
self, but IL would break up my entire day. and
I've an appointment on the island"
The funny man and his friends then rode
away. When the knowing man had had his
wheel patched up by local mechanics he didn's
mount IL and start post haste for Blank's. In
stead. he made a lot Of notes OF the damage
done, sent the bicycle around into the sta Ia.
and then entered the road house. He made
straight for the telephone. and. opening the
book. found that Blank had II telephone in his
shop. So he rang Blank IN.
Blank, he said. Just tell me as nearly
as you can what it will cost to make the follow.
ing repairs to a bicycle: Fix thirty-six bent
spokes. a broken brake. three patches on the
front tire. one on the back tire. straighten out q
handle bar. sew up a hide leather saddle, and
do a few other things. such rs putting in new
ball bearings and polishing some scratched.
You think $40 or $50 will do 1t. chr Well,
What Mr.. Jones? Why. your old friend and
customer, Mr., Jones. You know him. Tail and
any body answering that description and havn't
a customer named Jones? We'll. I'm not sur.
Gut not as Ing a one as ZONES. Good.by.' and
the knowing man left the telephone and went to
key. Then he Went out and sat in front OF tho
house and waited. An hour passed and then
more went by and the knowing man never re-
Taxed his vigil. save TO makesoccasiona trips to
1t was ) o'clock when the funny man and his
two friends hove in sight, and AS they came UP
the little Joke they, had, PLACED. The funny
mans smile didn't last long, however, for he
ject of his little joke.
How Aye DO :" said the knowing man; come
down and talk TO ne for "A while"
"Wh-wh-what do YOU wants - faltered the
humor'st. dismonnting slowly.
az 4 'hiN u ~ SN thh bdNb
$50 will cover the repairs to my wheel He also
says you're n liar. Now. don't say that you
are, but want twenty frorn'you damned quick.
get il ~
Don't you threaten me-" said the funny
man. getting up his nerve. Il don't admit BY
any means that I'm entirely 20 blame for thas
and | don't mean to-"
The interruption was short and sharp. 1t was
punch right from the shoulder. and II caught
the funny man under the chin. Another swing
Then the clever man walked over to the other
two.
Were you in the joke too - he said. I'm
for u few Of you funny ~feilows."
Before either got n chance To answer tho
moving man got i'll u punch on each. aud as
they fled he went back 10 the first man, who
just getting on his feet, grabbed him by
The neck. shook him until his teeth ratified, and
hen Remarked:
Before punch you again. what are the
chances OF my getting that tweIay Z"
Here. hold on" snuilieG the man. 1--WE goa
enough, but I've only got Sl2 to my name"
Get the rest from your friends, then. You'll
pay for that wheel or I'll kill you right here"
AT the funny mans call his two friends came
iowly up. Keeping one eye on the other man.
3etween them they collected SS, which the
showing man took. together with the first mans
Then he demanded Is cents more for
telephone, expenses. On getting 1t he turned
way, with IA polite Good night. Mr.. Jones"
md went back into the hotel.
From the piazza several persons had witnessed
he affair. and the knowing man lad to tell the
whole story. He wound up by saying:
The idea was not my own. You see. my
'rother got in collision with a carriage one day
nd his dog cart was knocked all ont of shape.
The man in the carriage tried TO work the same
'ag on him AS this fellow tried to work on ma
nd he got worse left than this fellow did To-
The telephones the greatest instruments
the world"