Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1896-02-14
AN AMBlpExrER.
A Reporter Attempted to- Furnish Copy
at Rapid Rate,

| ~ uoporter Attempted to- Furnish Copy
| Mt Rapid Rate.
There is reporter at our office who
writes with equal rapidity with either
hand. He is an ambidexter and bold,
bad one at that. When there is rush
In work at the Office and the devil is
shouting cop" life fend incarnate,
this useful reporter sits down at his
desk in full company front and with a
pencil in each hand sings off local
happenings by the yard. lie writes
on two sheets at once, and doesn't let
his right hand know what his left
hand is driving ut, but it's.driving all
the same. This day he got little off
his mental base and attempted to
write up dog fight and wedding in
high life at the same time. He got
things mixed. His hands ran clear
away with the gray matter in his skull
and things became. terribly confused.
This is the way the items telescoped
each other: "At the Grace church last
night the nuptials of Mr.. Thomas
johnson and Miss Julia Lawrence
were celebrated in most magnificent
style, costly floral horse shoe being
directly over the altar, and when the
yellow cur saw the flames of anger
darting from the eyes of the brindle
fyste, he opened with the impress.
sive strains of the wedding march.
AS the handsome couple walked
down the aisle the excited crowd be-
gan to get frantic and there we're yells
of Sick em, Bullr AT him now,
Towser,' and the spectators became
interested in the fight. The bride was
elegantly attired in pure white gar.
ments of the most costly fabric and
she wore the traditional white cur by
the neck, and his tongue began to loll
out and his eyes to turn somersaults in
the customary black suit, white
gloves, ears cropped close to his head.
He was disreputable looking dog
in tho beginning, and ought to
have been whipped for being so
homely. He is of good family,
and is engaged in one of the most cx-
tensive manufacturing concerns in the
west. But the yellow cur seemed to
be getting the advantage, as he had
now succeeded in getting death grip
on the throat of the big brindle, and
when he tenderly kissed the bride, ac-
cording to the ancient custom, his back
was covered with mud and his left hind
leg was terribly chewed up. Among
the costly presents received by the
happy pair were a fine grand piano
from the father of the bride. His hair
had been scalded from his back and
one eye seemed to have been destroyed
by an auger. After a short bridal
tour the happy couple will settle down
to one of the hardest fought battles
the reporter has ever witnessed. 1t is
difficult to tell which deserved
punishment worst. The fight be-
gan exactly at 4:5s, after having
been bitterly contested for an hour
and half they were driven to the res
idence of the brides parents and he
was taken to his home in wheelbar-
row. He will probably never recover,
and II he does will be totally blind, be-
sides being permanently lame in his
left leg. The beautiful bride received
the congratulations of h ost of friends
The groom is one of the most promis-
ing young men and his owner breads
the possibility of losing him. The
father of the bride is one of the
wealthiest merchants and the yellow
fyste limped off with knowing look
in his eye and saucy curl in his tail,
as much as to say: WHO else wants to
try me?"
The ambidexter was summarily
tired.-Bob Burdette, in Kansas City
Journal