The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1896-07-24
HINTS TO TRAVELLERS.
How the Meek Wanderer should Conduct
Himself When ON the Rail.


The following hints aud observations
bhve occurred to me during a recent trip
sorOss the continent. They are written In
no spirit of complaint against existing
railroad methods, hat merely in the hope
that they may prove useful to those who
travel, like myself, I'm spirit Of meek,
observnnt ignorance:
|. Sleeping in a Pullman car presents
some difficulties to the novice. Care
should be taken to allay all sense of dan
ger The frequent whistling of the engine
during the night is apt to be source Of
alarm. Find ont, therefore, before tray
cling the meaning Of the various whistles
One means station, two railroad cross
Ing, and SO ON. Five whistles short and
rapid mean sudden danger. When you
hear whistles In the night, sit up smartly
in your bunk and count them Should
they reach five draw on your trousers over
your pyjamas and leave the train instant
ly. As a further precaution against acct
dent sleep with the feet toward the en-
gine II you prefer TO have the feet crushed,
or with the head toward the engine If you
think II best so have the head crushed.
In making this decision try to be as I'M
selfish as possible. il indifferent, sleep
crosswise, with the head hanging over into
the aisle.
2. have devoted some thought to the
proper method of changing trains. The
system which have observed to be most
popular with travellers of my own class Is
something as follows: Suppose that you
have been told on leaving New York that
you are to change at Kansas City The
evening before approaching Kansas City
stop the conductor In the aisle of the car
you can do this best by putting out your
foot and tripping him-and say politely,
"Do change at Kansas CityF
He says, Yes"
Very good. Don't believe him. On
going into the dining car for supper take
negro aside and put it to him as per
| Sonal matter between a white man and a
black whether he thinks you ought tC
change at Kansas City. Don't be- satisfied
with this. In the course Of the evening
pass through the entire train from time tC
time aud say to people casually, ooh, can
you tell me II change at Kansas City,
Ask the conductor about it a few more
times In the evening. A repetition Of the
question will insure pleasant personal re
lations with him. Before falling asleei
watch for his passage and ask him through
the curtains Of your berth, "Oh, by TIL
way, did you say ] changed at Kansa
CityY II he refuses to STOP hook him b.
the neck with your walking stick ant
draw him gently to your bedside. In tn
morning whom the train stops and IA MAJ
calls, kansas City all changed" ap
proach the conductor again and say, II
this Kansas Cityl' Don't be discourage
Mt his answer. Pick yourself up and &
to the other end Of the car and say to tn
brakeman, "Do you know, sir, II this
Kansas CityP' Don't be too easily cor
WINGED. Remember that both brakema
and conductor may be- In collision to d.
ceive you. Look round therefore for tn
name of the station on the signboarC
Having found 1t, alight and ask the fir
man you see If this Is Kansas City. H
will answer: "Why, where in blank al
, your blank eyesY Can't you see 1t there
. plain as blankP" When you hear languag
/ of this sort, ask no more. You are no
: in Missouri, and this is Kansas City.
3. have observed that 1t Is now IL
practice of the conductors to stick bits {
. paper in the hats of the passengers The
!. do this, believe, to mark which on,
they like best. The device is pretty an
adds much to the scenic appearance
the car. But notice, with pain, that I'll
t system is fraught with much trouble 4
}, the conductors. The task of crushing tv
or three passengers together in order
reach over them and stick ticket In
q, the chinks of silk skullcap, Is embarras
ing for conductor of refined feelings.
would be simpler II the conductor shou
] carry small hammer and a packet
shingls nails and nail the paid up passe
ger to the back Of the seat, or, better sti
let the conductor carry small pot of pal
and brush and mark the passengers
% such way that he cannot easily lnistal
them In the case of baldheaded passe
b gers the hats might be- politely remov
" and red crosses painted on the Uranium
d This will indicate that they are bal
rs Through passengers might be distinguis
II cd by complete coat Of paint. In &
t. hands of man of taste much might
ID effected by little grouping Of paintt
ID passengers and the leisure time of the 90
a ductor agreeably occupied.
NJ 4. l have observed, in travelling In t
west, that the irregularity Of railroad 4
n cidents Is fruitful cause of complain
ar The frequent disappointment Of the hol
W ers of accident policy tickets on weste
tn roads In leading to widespread prote
be Certainly the conditions of travel In
Ill west are altering rapidly, and accidel
1t can no longer be relied upon. This
ry deeply to be regretted, in so much as, APP
ed from accidents, the tickets may be said
Is be practically valueless. was brought
m contact with one very sad case of IN
lie whose mother-in-law had safely arrived
Denver from the west almost on the sa
20. day that his five surviving sons arrived
he safety from St. Louis, The case wa
We peculiarly distressing one, since for so
ed time the unfortunate man had found
ks sole means Of support in sending his b.
nd up and down over this route. -Stepl
ats IeacoCk In Truth