davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
HUMOROUS.

N -Jones-"(iood morning, Benson.
How do you find business?" Benson
"By judicious Observation-Disclosures
Life. M NM
The Head Waiter-'T wonder how
the Spaniards located the Bermudas?"
The Cool1-"Perhaps they smelt the
onions. Chicago Dispatch.
A Serious Defect.-"Dick, how do
you think you will like the horseless
carriage?" 1T won't do at all; the
flies will all worry the people who ride"
Chicago Record.
"A Discrepancy. - She =" Young
Baggy, believe, takes his fences well?"
He-"Yaas, splendidly; but it's pity
his hawse doesn't take 'em at the same
time" Sydney Bulletin.
Papa, said Willie, Jimmie Tomp-
kins scratched my face all up" what
had you done to him?" Nothing"
"Then why didn't you hit him?" II
did; and, papa, got my lick in before
he scratched me."--Harper's Bazaar.
My Husbands First Wife. When
the lecturer inquired, dramatically:
Sdn an one III tnlS room tell me Ol
perfect MANI" there was dead silence.
"Has anyone" he continued, ''heard of o
perfect woman?" Then patient-look-
ing little woman in a black dress rose
up and answered.: "There was one.
I've often heard of her, but she is dead
now. She was my husbands first WIFE"
-Scottish-American.
She glided into the office and quiet
ly approached the EDITORS desk: Il
have written a poem," she began.
"Well!" exclaimed the editor with q
look and tone intended to annihilate;
but she calmly resumed-"I have writ
tenapoem on My Fathers Barn. and"
"Oh," interrupted the editor, with an
extraordinary suavity, "you don't know
how I am relieved. A poem written on
your fathers barn, Ell? I was afraid
it was written on paper and that you
wanted me to publish it. If I should
ever happen to drive past your fathers
barn I'll stop and read the poem."-Pub.
lie Opinion.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

You are engaged to be married, and
well, will be honest; I did like them
when you said them, but I've forgotten
now, and the damage can be repaired"
There was a little damage, then,
Rosie?" CA quick rustic, 4 little sound,
it might have been low laugh, or it
might have been a sob; Capt. Barnes
was alone).
ooh, is that you, May? Aren't you
dancing?"
mo; I'm going home, Phil; I'm
tired; but 1 want to confess something
first. Phil, five years is long time to
be away from anyone, isn't it?"
"Yes, May; but what Of that?"
"Well, one might change, and it
wouldn't be very wicked, would it? And
/ want you to let me off, Phil, will your"
What, let you off marrying ME,
May?"
Eyes; I've changed my mind; a
woman may, you know. I don't think
we are suited; no-don't say anything,
Phil, it won't be any USE"
"Well, if you mean 1t, May, of course
l. lhuSO ICO yOu ol, tIS .you pun II, IL , d
queer way of expressing it, and, of
course. I'm awfully sorry and all that,
bat know never was worthy OF vow"
ooh, that's nonsense. Well, good
night, Phil; mind you tell every one
Tilted you. By-the-Eye. was trying to
creep out of here softly just now, ana
upset n plant; such joke, Phil!
think there was a little love scene going
on on the other side, so ran because !
was afraid I might hear. 1 was with
Jack Ramsay; L wonder il he picked it
up. Will you go and see?"
(Jack Ramsay to friend in the supper
room) "Queer girl, that Miss Gwynue.
Been trying to get little fun out of her
in the conservatory just now, and I'm
bothered if 1 believe she heard a word !
said; got up in hurry, too, and bolted,
with some rotten excuse, and upset one
of old cartons best aZaleas." -Madame
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
Each Marked Sixteen Cents.

"The other evening at the place at
which I eat" said Assistant Secretary
of State Tim Slower, "while we were
eating supper one of the incandescent
electric lights went out. Examination
showed that the wire in it was broken
"'There,' said the lady of the house
I'll have to get a new globe
"'That means % cents I said.
Sixteen cents corrected young
lady stenographer for a downtown firm
who sat at the table.
"'That's strange I remarked. I'VE
get them by the barrel at the state
house and havh to pay % cents fol-
them
""rhat's just the way the state gets
cheated persisted the young woman
We only pay 16 cents for them at our
Office. They can't fool us, for the price
is pasted on the glass TO-
"She had seen the candle-power
mark. "-Topeka State Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
FASHION NOTES.
New Notions In Summer Costumes for
the Ladies'.

the Ladies'.
An operat wrap for midsummer wear
is made of lace flouncing. 1t falls al
most to the feet, and is lined with
glace silk with pink edges. There are
three capes, the longest of which falls
about ten inches below the waist line.
These capes are very full, and the gar
ment is finished at the throat with three
narrow ruffles, as full as they can be
gathered. A profusion of ribbon trim
ming in bows, loops and ends complete
| this dainty and luxurious article.
Full neck ruchings are to be worn in
the place of the boa to which the wom-
en- have become so accustomed that
they are not willing to dispense with
it even in hot weather. One pretty
model is made of rather stiff grenadine
ribbon, edged with very fine black lace
and plated through the middle. The
| ends of the ruching are tied with fluffy
bows of ribbon, which are fastened with
small hooks.
Some very handsome capes are made
Of heavy net, trimmed with rows Of
grenadine ribbon. These capes are
made with deep flounce, which is
| plated after the ribbon is set on. II Is
then sewed to round or square yoke,
being carefully adjusted for effect. A
standing collar or ruche of lace and rib
bon, with wide ribbons to tie at the
front, makes an extremely dressy and
pretty garment.
White will be one of the ruling sum-
mer colors. White satin and silk are
lavishly used for trimmings, and ladies
who have old-fashioned cream-colored
brocades may congratulate themselves
on possessing material that can
scarcely be duplicated. Art rarely sue
ceeds in giving the rich color that time
gives to fine quality of silk brocade-
| n. Y, Ledger.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
A QUALITY MOST DESIRED.
Young Girls Should Cultivate a High
Sense of Honor.

Among the qualities most to be de-
sired in young girls character is a
high sense of honor. 1 wish 1 could
impress on every reader the need of
being always above everything petty or
small, so that one would not for a single
moment ever be tempted to do q mean
or underhand thing, to speak unkindly
of friend, or to repeat a conversation
which was confidential.
1t may happen to you, for instance, to
be visiting in the home of relative or
friend, where there may be a little fric-
ton at the table, or where some enXiety
arises about the course of member Of
the family. No matter what you see or
hear, in such circumstances you are
bound, if you are an honorable person,
to be silent about it, neither making
comments nor looking as if you could
tell something if you choose, nor in any
way abiding to what is unpleasant, at
any future time. A guest in a home
name of those under its roof, for it is an
| honor to be a guest, in the first place,
and honor is demanded in return.
Again, a nice sense of honor in mat
tiers connected with money is very inn
| portant. Polly is treasurer of society,
and has the care of the funds. She must
never for an instant, or in an emery
ency, lend funds to other people, or
borrow them for her own use. knew
girl-Polly was her name, by the way
who was induced, being treasurer Of
certain guild, to lend her brother, for
one day, the money she had in her care.
The brother was older than Polly, and a
very persuasive person. He said:
shy should you hesitate? I'll bring
it back tonight, and it will oblige me
very much if 1 can take that $50 and pay
a bill owe before noon to-day" Foolish
Polly permitted her scruples to be over
ruled. The money was not brought
back, and but for her fathers kindness
in making it good she would have been
| discharged as a dishonest treasurer.
She told me long afterwards that the
| lesson had been burned in on her mind
never to take liberties with money
which she held in trust.-Harper's
| Round Table
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
1t Curcd Him.

One of the candidates for the represen-
tation of a west England county
borough, in the course of speech jusS
previous to the general election, has!
occasion to refer to the fogging of chill
dren. "Some folks nowadays" he said
"object to beating youngsters at al!
but agree with the truth conveyed il
that saying of the wise man: Spare
the rod and spoil the child l suppose
l was no worse than other boys" h,
went on to say, 'but know had some
flogging myself, and I believe it did nj!
good. Now, on one occasion, was
riogged for telling the truth" I'll
cured you. sir" said q voice Mt the back
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
SHORT SPEECHES HISTORIC.
Verbose Orators Seldom Achieve tho Fame
for Which They Strive.

Verbose Orators Seldom Achieve tho Fame
for Which They Strive.
1t is a curious fact that many OF the
great speeches which gave immortality
to orators who made them were deliv-
cred in comparatively small rooms and
small audiences. When Webster
made his great argument in the Dart.
mouth college case, aside from the bar,
the officials in charge Of the room, there
were not so persons present, and yet
many believe that he spoke to listening
senators and other high officials.
When we read Patrick Henry's won
derful display of eloquence, we see in
our minds eye spacious room and an
immense crowd of people listening to
his burning words with breathless at
tention. But, in truth, many of these
speeches which quickened or changed
the march of events were delivered in
small room and to a few hearers, never
more than $50. "Could it have been
here, in this oaken chapel of so pews,"
wrote Hosmer, the gifted author OF
''Sprondro," that Patrick Henry de-
livered the greatest and best-known Of
all his speeches? Was it here that
he uttered those words of doom so I'M
expected, and then so unwelcome:
we must fight?' Even here. But the
words were spoken in tone and man.
ner worthy the men to whom they were
addressed, and who were so impressed
with them that for several moments
they seemed almost awe-stricken. 1t
x,-ha hn ynino 1f pinho ri
Henry Lee, that other matchless Vir-
ginia orator, who rose to second the
words of Henry, rang through the room,
that they were called back to them
selves"
Stewards speech in defense of Will
liam Freeman was undoubtedly the
greatest and most brilliant effort Of
his professional life. 1t did more for
him, perhaps, than the conduct of any
case has given any other in the state
of New York in perpetuating his name.
And yet the audience that listened to
him was less than 100 in number. A
friend expressed some surprise that an
argument of so much power, learning
and eloquence should have attracted so
few listeners. "My dear sir,' said
Seward, my audience was in no sense
limited. The civilized world was my
audience. Posterity will hear it, and
generations unborn will praise or CEN
sure it, from the different standpoints
in which they will view it. 1 did not
make it a part of the madding
crowds ignoble strife"
Horace Greeley, who stands peerless
in history among the great journalists
of the world, as do Webster, Choate,
Chatham and Burke among the great
orators, said: Stewards speech in de-
Tense OF William Freeman is one OF the
masterpieces in the history Of oTatory,
reason, logic and humanity" Amer
lean Lawyer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

30 India for five years when you had
only seen her three times, and you pro-
posed to her just before you left, and
never saw her again till this morning,
and now she has come out all this long
way to be married to you, and-oh!
Capt. Barnes, / hope l don't seem
cheeky, do talk so, but it's all so love-
1y and romantic, isn't it? l mean, hav-
ing been true to each other all these
years, and now, after all the waiting.
You know l didn't even know you were
out TO me as your fiancee, and was
introduced. Why didn't you tell me
you were engaged, Capt. Barnes?"
81 didn't think it would interest you
Miss Rosie
"Oh! is that a snub? No? Well,
It has more than interested me, it has
made me. l think that's the music
beginning; shall we move?"
'Not yet; will you finish your SEN
tence? 1t has made you-what?"
"Oh, nothing, only-well, if you must
know, it has made me think"
"Of what?"
'Of men, and their ways; you SEE
Oh, it is so hard to explain!"
"Never mind, try again; I'm not in
any hurry, and when you get excited
you do look so bewitching, you know,
Miss Rosie"
! "There, now, that's what mean; you
see you've so often said things of that
sort to me before, and didn't think
when men were engaged they said
things like that to other girls; that's
why I was so surprised to hear you
had fancee."
"Tou are very young, Miss Rosie"
"Is that why you said those things to
me?"
"What things?"
"Why, that 1 was bewitching when !
got excited, and that my eyes had a
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
THE DUMB PROPHET.
IOWA


stake this message from your King, to His
people.
/ He that sheweth 1t completest,
Shall have need Of me the sweetest.
Heralds of the Prince on high.
! Tell 1t clearly. though you die. f..
! None shall on this mission go
l. Who hath faltering voice, or; low
One whose heart within him burned, and
= whose lips
AS with fire were eloquent,
Kissed his Masters feet and went
Till the pale. and suffering host
He confronted as ghost;
To his tongue no speech would come,
He was stricken-stricken dumb!
Forth he crept into the streets, white with
anguish;
But lost child, piteously,
Ran into his arms, and he
Bore It to its home. And one
Bv the worlds cold scorn undone,
Stony by the drear wayside,
! Looked upon his face, and crieo.
rost. his message, evermore; but his feet
forever hasted.
! Low he bent to every need
That his :toilipg hands could feed;
And the sick and dying bed
Still his mute face comforted.
Still, through every woe and loss,
Dumb, he pointed to the Cross.
Game the hour when, bowed and gray. the
King called him.
sI.ord, -. his soul cried: Thy great word
None from my poor lips hath heard.
7 have failed. But, for Thy grace,
Give these souls about me place.
Let me wander hence unblest,
So Thou take them to Thy rest"
Conquerors from every cline through the
Kings gate hasted
Heroes famed from land afar,
Captains in His holy war,
Souls triumphant, God-forgiven,
Singing-but the King of Heaven
Saw, without, the prophet dumb,
Weeping, and he called him: 'Come"
And there followed in a train, clutching at
t. the poor mute's dress;
In his arms was wan child,
And the great King looked and smiled.
,sSon," He said, IT babe thee show
Gods great depth of love; and 10!
Thou hast come with regal token
Thou supreme Ger all hast spoken"
IS. P. Mel Greene, in N Y. Independent
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

strange fascination for you, and you
wished there were more girls like me
in the world, and-oh well, Capt.
Barnes, you must remember lots and
lots of things YOU said"
Don't scold ma. Miss Rosie; it was
very wrong of me, but tried not to-
and I won't any more; will that please
you?"
Pause, then rather constrained lit.
tie yoice): II don't understand, Capt
Barnes; you tried not to?-why did you
try not to? didn't ask you to say such
thingsi" Voice rising in indigna
tion.)
'Don't talk so loud, Miss Rosie, Their,
might be another couple sitting behind
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
Rica for EiHe.

One-half pound rice, onefourth pound
gelatine, one-fourth pound sugar, two
glasses cream, little vanilla; wash,
cook, drip, cool and drip again the rice
till the water is clear; place in a sauce
pan with one-fourth pound gelatine
which you have soaked for ten minutes
in cold water, and then melted in a
saucepan (add little water if gelatine
is too thicl<), add two glasses of cream
and cook while stirring for ten minutes;
pour this in a cake mould, which you
place in an ice box till cold; when ready
to serve knock it from the mould and
pour over raspberry sauce made an
follows: Pass two pounds rasp-
berries through sitter and mix with
three-fourths pound sugar. - Boston
Globe.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
Travel with a Friend

Who will protect you from those enemies
nausea, Indigestion, malaria and the sick
ness produced by rocking on the waves,
and sometimes by inland travelling over the
rough beds of the i'll laid railroads. Such
q friend is Hostetter's Stomach Bitters.
Ocean mariners, yachtsmen, commercial
and theatrical agents and tourists testify
to the protective potency of this effective
safeguard, which conquers also rheuma-
tism, nervousness and biliousness.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
In Olden Times

People overlooked the Importance of per-
manently beneficial effects and were salts
fed with transient action; but now that it
is generally known that Syrup of Figs will
permanently overcome habitual constipa-
ton, well-informed people will not buy
other laxatives, which act for time, but
finally injure the system.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
Sarsaparilla
1G TO L.
You win Like Virginia.

July z and 81, August and Is tickets will
be sold from all points in the northwest
over the Big -Four Route and Chesapeake
and Ohio Ry. to Virginia at one fare plus
$500 for the round trip. Homeseekers
should take advantage of this cheap rate to
had cyclone. 1t has perfect climate,
cheap transportation and the best markets
in the world. Send for rates, free descrip-
tive pamphlet and list of desirable farms
for sale. U. L. TRUITT, N. w. p. A., 234
Clark Street, Chicago.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
Betrayed by Her Looks.

Bicycle Girl completed my first
century yesterday.
Hobson--You look it.
"Sir!"
"Oh-ah. I mean that's splendid
record for such q young rider as YOU"
.-Pk ladelphia Inquirer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
POLISHING CIO.ha.

Polishing-cloths similar to those used
by jewelers. for rubbing silver are made
by boiling soft cotton cloths in an ounce
Of hartshorn powder mixed with pint
of sweet milk. Boil five minutes, pass
through wringer, and dry quickly be-
fore the fire, or dip quickly in cold wa
ter to partly cool. and then wiring out
with the hand. These cloths may be
used to wipe silver daily after it is
washed and dried.-N. Y. Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

wax for polished foors?" Clerk-ENo; we
only have sealing wax" Mrs. Nuwed-
swell, that will do. If it's for the ceiling I
suppose it will do for the floor jussas welli"
Washington Times,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23
BREAKAGES.

HAVE just met
your fiancee, Capt.
Barnes, and 1 like
her so much; 1 be-
lieve we shall be
great friends. She
has been telling
me all about how
you met, and how
YOU had to go out
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

THE truly honest man does that from
duty (which the man of honor does for the
sake of character.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

"MIss OLDUN is one old maid who doesn't
try to conceal her age.n 'Yes, but she
knows it's no use." ''Why?" ''Her twin
brother lives with her!"-Chicago Record.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

PIso's Cure for Consumption has no equal
as Cough medicine. F. M. Abbott, 3SS
Seneca St., Buffalo, N. Y, May 9, 1894.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

Iowa FARMS for sale on crop payments, 10
paid for: J. MGanAII, R aIe y Iii. '
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

RED, angry eruptions yield to the action
of Glenn Sulphur Soap.
Hills Hair and Whisker DYE, so cents
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

"A red sunset indicates clear day
in the west, from which direction rain
most frequently comes, is devoid Of
moisture.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

THE most enviable of all titles, the char
acter of an honest man.-W ashingtoc.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

To COMPLETE the Collation.-She (senti-
mentally)-"I would were a bird" He
(stupidly) -"And what would I be-" She
(sarcastically) you might be small
bottle n-Chicago Record
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

The dahlin is indicative of eternal
affection. The idea is said to have orig.
mated with London gardener early in
this century, who. having large stock,
recommended the flowers as proper to
be used on funeral occasions.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-07-23

WE initiate only what we believe and ad
mire.-Willmott.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-12-04

place on the southwest corner of Sec.
ond and Rock Island streets, Daven-
port.
Ladies: $l.1O for q good warm
lined shoe, leather faced. worth
$3.50, to close at CLIO. Also line OF
warm slippers at IS cents. The
Boston.
Tomorrow. Saturday only, carna-
lions 10 cents 3 dozen, roses As cents.
Come ea ly and get the flowers fresh
and fragrant. Anderson. florist at
Champions.
Fine pair club skates given with q
suit or overcoat from 81 up. We
sell you cheaper than any one else,
and give you skates for nothing.
The London.
Gust Briuberg. of Moline. and
Miss Anna Sam uelson. of Kewanee.
we're married Wednesday by Rev. J..
L. Murphy. OF Grace English Luth-
eran church.
Owe shoes, arctics, felt boots, rub
bers, for anybody aud everyb body.
Save doctor bills by keeping your
feet dry. The Boston.
The river remains stationary at
6.5 at Reeds Landing. A rise of 0. 5
foot at Lacrosse has brought the
water up to rs at that place, the
danger line being 10 feet.
just received extra heavy frize
ulsters in black and oxford, weight Sc
ounces to the yard. worth SIS, but
bought them so cheap we can sell
them for 80; only 25 in the lot. The
London.
AS an inducement to the public.
the Eastern Fair will give one-half
oozen first class photographs of any
member of your family free with
every IS purchase for the month of
December only. 2l07 and 21O9
Fourth avenue.
Nicholas Lage wishes to publicly
acknowledge the many acts Of kind
ness and sympathy shown by neigh
bors and friends during the illness
and at the time of TIE death of his
beloved wife, and to each of whom
he extends his sincere thanks.
Tiskilwa business men have called
uuon Congressman Reeves, of their
district. and given him to understand
that they want the affairs of the
Hennepin canal pushed. Business
men of this district should admin
lister prod to Prirce-Geneseo
News.
Geo'ge Wyman. SlS Ninth street
temporarily employed as pitman at
the Tri-City hallway compauy's
power station on Second avenue, had
the index finger of his right hand
badly lacerated by having it caught
in the furnace door yesterday af:er-
noon. Engineer Bowling assisted
the injured man to DIR. DeSilva's
Office, where.the finger was dressed.
1t is thought that the memb Der can be
saved.
Charlotte Allen Scott pleased a
large audience at association hall
last night with her monologue, lin
Switzerland" which consisted of an
explanation of q trip through that
scenic country, characterization of
its people. etc. 1t was the first en-
tertainment in the association series,
and was success. Miss Scott is a
graceful and pleasing entertainer.
She also gave several Rotations.
Miss Sonntag and Mr.. Peterson, OF
Davenport, furnished the musical
mum bers.
The funeral of Mrs. Nicholas Lage
was held from the residence on
rwenty-irst street and o'clock yes
terday afternoon to the German
Lutheran church, where a large
number of friends of the deceased
came to pay the last sad rites. and
where services were conducted BY
Rev. A. c. Mennicke. Intermeni
was made ut the German Lutheran
cemetery. The pallbesrers were:
d. Kracke. Charles Hansgep, NJ
Voss, N. Juhl, Charles Pfoh and
Henry j. Brunswig.