The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-01-12

Chicago brewers say beer will go up. but
the rest of the country knows it will go
down.
They say Paderewskf CANDLES, and some
are asking if that is why he avoided COM
ing to Seattle.
The probable reason for the belligerent
attitude OF Congressman Newlands is that
he is full of sand-alkali, from the Nevada
desert.
The most popular loan imaginable just
now would be transferring a little of the
business common sense Of the house TO the
senate.
A New Jersey corset firm has failed, and
I'm spite OF the fact that IL has been squeez-
ing it's customers ever since it has been
In business.
Whisky is now selling in Chicago for 5
cents a glass. three for dime. This kills
New York's chances for getting the DEM
ocratic convention.
An Albany woman wants a divorce be-
cause her husband bathes but once a
year 1t is safe to say there will be con-
siderable dirty linen washed.
1t will be pretty hard for a Democrat
TO keep in the middle OF the road this
year. for there win be no road, at least
leading to the White House.
Judging from the pictures of President
Kruger. the little breeze in the Transvaal
recently has had a delightful pair of whis-
kers through which TO circulate.
About the only thing the so-called
leisure class in this country appears TO be
able TO do is to furnish family scandals,
quick divorces and new alliances.
They say that the administration Is look
ing after the interest of the country, and
Il might be added that 1t is giving consid-
cradle time to increasing the principal.
Since the people have dissected the presi-
dents argument in favor of the retirement
OF the greenback there doesn't seem 10 be
so many people in his endless chain
gang.
Joseph ]. ingalls,, of Bridgton. Me. 20
years of age. never sat in BARRIERS chair
until last week, when he had his beard
taken off. When he feels for IL now he no
doubt realizes what he has missed.
Alfred Austin. the new poet laureate, has
written a poem on Or. Jameson's ride in
the Transvaal. II must be something like
the Charge Of the Light Brigade, at least
so far as the number returning Is con-
cerned-
II Campos wants to keep right on send
ing cahlegrams announcing victories. Il
begins TO look as though he would soon
be under the necessity OF dating them on
some sort OF a vessel such as the Mackay-
Bennett. which cabled accounts or the
yacht races last year from on shore
Seven hundred and eighty million PEN
MES have been coined. and the supply or
them In the East doesn't begin 10 come up
70 the demand. The real truth OF the mat
ter probably is that q syndicate or children
has boarded them. For relief the people
must look 70 the childrens savings banks.
our navy we shall double.
II this Venezuela bubble
Ever leads us into trouble
On the Schomburgk line.
For Of wrongs there'u be a righting,
And without a bit OF fighting.
When the stakes they get s-sighting
on the Schomburgk line.
Tho the furry has passed over.
Since the message came from Grover.
Yet the British do not hover
on the Schomburgk line.
So with some expatiatfng
over boundaries ante-dating,
They will do but little waiting
on the Schomburgk line.
For In spite OF Britain's buster,
II Il known II she should muster,
That your Uncle sam would bust her
on the SchomburEk line.
EDITORIAL SPARkLEe.
Have YOU been measured for epaulettes9-
Syracuse Post
How easy Il IS for a lazy man - prove
that luck Is against him.-Ram's Horn.
II is hard 20 understand why unassuming
people are 20 apt TO wear sGueaking shoes
Rams Horn.