The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1896-07-11
CRAMPS, THE CYCLING HERO.

CRAMPS, THE CYCLING HERO.
How the Boarders Discussed the wheel
and Guyed Him One Day.
The wheel fever has struck the board
ing house. Borden has purchased an 1895
model at greatly reduced price, while
Walters Is paying installments on a $50
machine. Even Mr.. Murphy, the quiet
little bachelor, has shown a remarkable
interest in the discussions as TO the COM
parative merits OF wheels. Borden has
told him to purchase Volcano. Walters
has quietly advised him TO think of no
wheel except the Juanita- Cramps has
announced that there is but one bicycle
In the world, and that is the bicycle
that he (Grampis) has purchased.
Cramps, being an eighth wonder of
the world in his own estimation, says
that he mastered the wheel within ten
seconds after he leaped gayly into the
saddle.
Its all a matter of determination
and self confidence, - said he the other
evening. II simply said would ride II,
and / did. -
"Oh, well, we're not all like your
observed Walters
One evening this week bicycle was
the main item at dinner.
Grampis-Well, Murphy, how are
you coming on?
Murphy (startled) doh, fairly well!
I'm beginning to have more confidence
in myself
Grampis-Still fall off once in awhile,
eh2
Murphy (rather humiliated) well,
yes; once in awhile.
Grampis-Haven' t had the nerve to
60 out on the road yet?
Murphy-Not yet.
Grampis-Well, I can't understand
that. Why don't you just jump on the
wheel and go right off? The first time
went out I met Mr.. Bradley. He would
hardly believe it was the first time I'd
been out.
Borden-I saw a beautiful srit today
for $12. 1t was swell.
Mrs Harris-I'm dying to see Mr..
Cramps in suit.
Grampis-Do you really think l
would look we'll in one?
Mrs. Harris-Why, Mr.. Cramps,
you'd look well in any kind of a cos
tune.
Walters with side wink at Borden
You'd be out of sight.
Cramps attempting to smother his
just pride)-I dare say I shall have a
suit little later on.
Walters-When are you going to be-
gin to ride, Miss Lott?
Miss Lott-I-oh, really-dO you
know, mamma thinks it wouldn't be
don't know-nice perhaps.
Mrs. Harris-Your mother dOesn t
know what she's talking about. If
were you, I'd be out every afternoon.
The young men won't steal you.
Mrs. Lott pretending to be horror
en)-Why, Mrs. Harris!
Walters (seriously)-I'n tell you
what. You could get one of these new
tangled tricycles with cushioned seat
| in front and take your mother along as
a chaperon.
Mrs. Harris - Why, certainly; and
sort Of use your mother as buffer in
case you run into cab or trolley car.
Mrs. Lott-Oh, Mrs. Harris!
Miss Lott-How ridculousl
Cramps with ponderous delibera-
ton My advice to any one who wishes
TO ride the wheel is to put aside all fool
ish prejudices. If had wife, would
compel her to ride wheel, and would
go with her to see that she took good
long ride every day.
Walters-f vou were a married man,
you couldn't get money enough ahead
| to buy two wheels.
Mrs. Harris-If that's the way you re
going to treat your wife, I'll have to be
very careful and not fall in love with
you when 1 see you in that new suit.
(Grampis fumes slightly at the gener-
al laughter and for moment or two
seems to have dim suspicion that some
one is having fun with him.
| Grampis-I don't think / shall ever
marry.
Walters-You are robbing some girl
| of a good thing. aside to Borden.
Never touched him.
Murphy Tin a still, small voice)-I
was looking at the Euphrates wheel to-
day.
Wouldn't give dollar a
Thousand for them. Don't like the
sprocket.
/ Walters-You might have the sprock.
ct filed off, Murphy.
(Grampis laughs derisively. Walters
appears surprised. Borden, Murphy
and Mrs. Harris join in the laughter
Walters with a wink at Murphy
| What's the matter?
Grampis-That beats anything I've
heard in long time.
Walters-We1l, then, he needn't take
the sprocket off. Let him leave it on.
1t isn't my sprocket. It's none of my
| business.
Mrs Harris-I'm afraid Mr.. Gram
pis knows more about a wheel than the
rest of us do.
Grampis-Oh, well, naturally, hav-
| ing given a little study TO it, l under