Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-04-03
IN THE HEATER PIPE.
THE RETIRED BURGLAR RELATES HIS
MOST SINGULAR EXPERIENCE.

an Unfortunate step-In the End He
Made "A Contribution to the Collection.
''ln a house that | was looking over
in town mp the state one night, said
the retired burglar, Il came across
something that / never struck but that
once In all my experience, strange rs 1t
may seem, and that WAS a lot Of we'd
ding presents, all just as they were ar
ranged Tor display. When ! turned my
lamp into tie room, wished 1 had
brought horse and wagon; there WAS
IA good deal If it that wouldn't havo
been Of any earthly u~o % me, bur it
seemed pity TO leave any Of IL behind.
But If | couldn t carry il all off. could
have the fun Of picking, and | started
to look the things over. They were ar
ranged on tables and chairs and on the
floor around on three sides # the room ;
ON the side opposite to the side that |
had come IN at, and Oh the sides 10 the
right and left; running around those
three sides III "A sort Of irregular order.
On the side where | was thore were Il
few chairs. | thought ia start in ON
the left and work around to the right,
and l started from the door and had
gone about three steps when | went
down through the floor as it seemed TO
me, but what | had really done was TO
step down through an open register
suppose somebody must have dropped
something down through it and have
taken II out 10 get 1t and forgot TO put
IL back.
There was wire screen under the
register over the pe,opening to keep
things from dropping down the pipe,
but II was very fine light wire, and it
didn' stop me at all; | just slid down
into the pipe, pushing that along under
my feet. When dropped into the pipe,
L had been facing 10 the left; in some
way as went down got skewcd around
so that when got down as far as | did
go | was facing to the front; that Is,
toward the center Of the room The
pipe didn't 20 straight down, but with
"A curve. | had thrown up my hands as
| went down, and ] suppose | might
have gone plumb to the furnace if
hadn' clutched 1T the edge Of the regis
ter opening aud hung on. A minute be-
fore | was going to take my pick Of
roUmful; now where was |
Il had started across the room carry
Ing my toolbag in one hand and my
lamp in the other. The shock when |
went down had shaken the bag out of
my hand, but | had held on to my lamp,
though it was lying on its side now
with my fingers clutching through the
handle. The falling Of the toolbag and
the striking Of the lamp on the floor
and the scrapiug Of the wire gauze
down through the tin pipe must have
made all together good deal Of noise,
and | expected every minute 10 hear
somebody moving about up stairs and
coming down 10 haul me out, but no.
body did come, and | set my lamp up
straight. and after I'd waited Il minute
or two more | started 10 see if | could
haul myself out.
"As | lay IN the pipe my head was
below the level Of the floor; by great
effort | could raise myself so that the
upper half of my head was abdSe the
opening, but no higher; there was no
room for play; when | got that high, l
found myself with my elbows close to
my body and fairly wedged into the
pipe; l couldn't get amy higher.
Il let myself down again and after
awhile | pulled myself up again, and
held on by one hand and held up the
lamp and swung it round on the things.
Then ! let myself down again. and won
dered what | was going To do. 1t wasn't
only uncomfortable there in the posi-
tiun | was III. IL was mighty hot aud
unpleasant every way. If | let 60.
didn't know but that I'd slide down
against the furnace, and, Of course, |
couldn { stand II for IN indefinite length
of time, and when I'd been in the pipe
should imagine about two hours, |
made up my mind that | wouldn I try
to stand il any longer; I'd got 70 come
ont some time, and Knight Just as we'll
come out then; in fact, better, for while
the chances Of my getting away at all
were mighty small, they would be bet
ter at night than they would be in the
daytime.
so | made mp my mind To kick ON
the pipe and wake up the house and
have the thing settled. 80 | kicked
once, twice, and then | kicked again;
and by snakes kicked the pipe open
at my feet. There was joint there, aud
I'd kicked 1t apart, and the sections
was il sagged down with my weight.
and slid out on the cellar floor The
sagging down Of that part of the pipe
detached it from the part above and il
fell on the cellar floor alongside Of me.
That made noise enough to wake every
body up; there couldn't be any doubt
about that.
Il went ont by the same cellar win
dow that 1 came in by. r. was the first
and only such lot Of stuff that / ever
struck, and | never got thing out Of
it; in fact, added something To il my
'elf-a set of tools and dark lantern. "
New York Sun.
'The Pyramid Limp"
1.-THE pyramid limp, as it has come
20 be called. is that state Of body which 1
"a l. upon ono for tyVD an fbVpp 1px.. aft /