The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-07-01
all Sorts Of Paragraphs.

one sedSOu.
- The man who will allow his vote
to be Influenced by a drink Of liquor
ought to be DISTINGUISHED.
= Cawker-"I've had another addi-
ton to myfamily since I saw you last.
Cumso-"You don't say Boy or
girl ?" Cawker-'fSon-in-law.
= Camels are perhaps the only ami
mails thas cannot swim. Immediately
upon entering the water, it is said,
they turn on their backs and are
drowned.
= Got on your husbands cravat,
haven't you?" asked a neighbor OF
Mrs. Bilkins. "Yes," replied Mrs.
B. sadly. "It is the only tie there is
| between US now" s.
= 1t 10 usually best, If minister
and his charge cannot agree, for the
minister to drop the contest. The
church cannot very well go off aud. so
this leaves but one alternative.
- Agitated Young Bridegroom ((iim.
mediately afterthe ceremony: Serena,
shall-shall I-shall we kiss?" Self
Possessed Bride (itS being her third
experienee): "Iti is my usual custom,
William"
-"Now, Walie, said Mr.. Wilkins,
stpapa is going away for two weeks,
Remember whose boy you are, and
behave accordingly" sYou canbS
I will, daddy" said Willie.
have just as good2a time as you will2H.
= The largest damned body Of
water in the world will be secured By
the building of a dam at CIoquet,
Mimi, on the st. Louis River. The
dam is to be 900Sfeeb long, and eighty
feet high, with bacHkwaters sixty miles
in extent.
= George, did you hear about that
little affair at the Parish house to-day
at noon?" "No," said Andrews,
what was itT" aIEhy, all the ladies
got up and left llie table" aThe
deuce, yousay! What for sThey
had finished eating. :ss
= New Hampshire has produced
many queer things, and the latest on
record is a horse that was raised IN
New Boston. The horse has ahump
that any dromedarY in Arabia would
be proud of, and many other peculiar.
tiles that nothing but a camera can
adequately describe.
= One dollar loaned for 100 years
at 6 per cent, with interest collected
annually and added to the principal,
will amount to S34O. AT 8 per cent,
it amounts to $2,203, or nearly seven
times as much. AT IL per cent, il
amounts to s84, 075, or more than4,000s
times as much.
- romantic young lady, who was
dragged out Of a pond into which she
had fallen, on coming round declared
that she would mary her preseryer
"That is impossible said young
man. IFS he already married, then
she inquired. "No," said he; he is
a Newfoundland dog.
81 WONDER" said the really
boarder, ssif there is any truth in the
theory that advancement Of women to
an equal intellectual plane with man
will destroy her beauty 2 a0f course
there is" said the soured bachelor,
"and there are more pretty women
than v e nowadays"
-"From the reports ofthe experts
observed Uncle Allen Sparks, il
seems that the small bore rifles are
much more effective in warfare than
those of larger caliber. It good
deal the same way in politics. The
small bore politician does ten times
more damage TO the community than
the big gun does"
THAT jes' shows the contrariness
of politicians" said Farmer Corntossel,
as he finished an account of an unsuc-
cessfal Interviewer attempt. whats
the matter 2 asked his wife. "When
they amt got nothin' ter say they'll
talk like twas fur dear life; an ez
soon ez they gifts somethin' on their
minds tibet the public nd like ter.
hear about they het up like clans"
= When the Gear was crowned at
Moscow recently. he provided a free
festival out on Hodynsky Plain.
There we're thousands and tens of
thousands of the poor and hungry
present, and when they made the
grand rush for the beer ndfood there
was a sort Of panic, and more than
1900 peasants were crushed to death.
But the Gar must be crowned if it
does come high.
= Cedar and fig trees are rarely
struck by lightning. The beech, the
lafch, the fir, and the chestnut, also
seem to be peculiarly obnoxious to the
"bolts of Jove." There are trees,
however, which appear to attract rather
than to rer,el the lightning fash. The:
trees generally enumerated in the
category Of those which the lightning
is most apt to strike are the oak, the
yew, the elm and the Lombardy poplar.
= Bessie's mother had dressed her
for church one bright Sunday morning.
After her hair was brushed and her.
hat was carefully pinned on she sat
down to wait until the older folks
were ready. "Be careful not to muss
your dress, called her mother. "No,
ma'am," answered Bessie, looking!
prim and sweet. Just chen in came:
Aunt Sarah. "Bessie looks so nice
this morning she said, t'that I must
have a kiss" "No, no, Aunt Sarah,n
said BESSIE you'll muss my mouth
Mrs. Rhode Noah, of this place, was
taken in the night with cramping pains
and the next day diarrhoea set in. She
took half a bottle of blackberry cordial.
but got no relief. She then SEM to.
me to see if I had anythingth would
help her. | sent her a bottle Of Cham
berlain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhea
Remedy and the first dose relieved her.
Another Of our neighbors had been
sick for about "a week and had tried;
different remedies for diarrhoea but,
kept getting worse. [ sent him this
same remedy. Only four doses Of it
were required to cure him. he says;
he owes his recovery to this wonderful:
so,. NJ Me- C:l1- Csz-s