Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1896-01-02
WONDERS OF THE PATENT OFFICE.
Some Peculiar Inventions Applications
for Patents Mao by Crank of All Sorts.

Correspondence of the FREQ Press)
Washington. ID. c., Dec. 2S.--Although
our commissioner of patents is only au-
thorzed to Issue patents for devices or
methods that are new and useful. some odd
and curious inventions slip through and n
patent Is granted A few years since u
patent was granted for method for maxi
ing hash: "Chop raw potatoes and raw
meat separately, add salt and pepper and
bake in hot oven" How many of our
New England wives and mothers wQ0d
grant that this was anything new? Here
is another ridiculous patent, for 1t was al
lowed and is numbered 253,937; IT is for a
tempering solution for making iron hard.
compact and tough, capable of taking an
edge almost like steel. The solution con-
sisted of jamestown weed 1 o., apples /
o., turnips o., and water / gallon.
However, these absurdties are not as
common in this country as they are In
England and France, for there any crazy
genius can obtain a patent on anything,
no matter how absurd, providing he pays
the required fees, and in England the pat
ent office fees are very heavy. Not longer
ago than the year 1885 the English office
issued patent for n method OF getting
gold from wheat by boiling and baking,
the process was Cut whole wheat straw
into little square ships, the width of the
straw. and mix this with an equal meas
urs of the grains. Measure out half IL
two-quart saucepan full, and set 1t aside !,
fill the saucepan three-fourths fun OF
water and set to boil over the fire, pour
in the mixture and let 1t boil for two and
one-fourth hours, adding water at inter-
walls: then strain of the liquor into thin
layers In soup plates and allow the same
tc rest 3s hours at temperature OF 46 de-
q ees Fahrenheit. Then slowly bake them
dry and find the gold adherirg " the
plates
Another patent issued by the English Of
flee was for a divinns roo. with which It
was claimed gold and silver mines could
ba located. The apparatus consisted oil q
bottle or flask containing n composition of
gold. silver quicksilver and copper and
alcohol or an acid. When carried with the
end OF the cord In one hand and the bottle
steadied by the other hand, 1t WAS claimed
that the contents would become agitated
when brought into the neighborhood Of
gold or silver. a curious coincidence re-
Sarding this crazy conceit was, about this
Fame time, an application received from II
crank In Texas for almost the same thing.
II is needless to say that his application
was regretted and when he learned Of the
fate OF his visionary scheme he came to
Washington to cndeavor to prove his claim
10 having invented something useful, but
he returned homo without the coveted
letters patent.
Probably the perpetual motion schemes
are more abundant than any other class
OF crazy Inventions; every little while
something of the kind will bob up here in
Washington. and not long since one Of tho
most brilliant was brought forth. This
party used u combination of steam
engine, a dynamo. u heat generator and
water With the steam engine he pro-
poses to run the dynamo, with the dynamo
to- operate the heater, generating steam
from the water, and with the steam to run
the engine. According to his claim this
combination would run on for ever.
Not long since Il crank from the West
tried TO get patent for n method for it,
rigating the Arizona desert. lie proposed
to bring down from the neighboring
mountains great quantities of snow and
store up for use in the spring. when water
was needed bat as he did not fully ex-
plain how the irrigant was to be kept till
1t was indeed. his application was not
granted.
In early days English inventors tried to
cover as much Us possible in their speciii-
cations and so get the worth of the money
paid to the patent office. The following
"joinder Of Inventions" Is found in the
title of English patent No 80 of the year
1850. ITO multiple and make sa.tpeter in
an open ielde In Tower acres of ground
sufficient TO serve all our dominions to
raise water from lowe pitts by fire; to
make any sorts of mills to goe on standing
waters by continual mocon. without the
help of wind. water or horse; to make all
sorts of tapestrie without any weaving
loom or way ever yet in use in this king
dome; TO make boNtes, shippes, and barges
TO go against stronge winCo and tide: to
make tho earthe fertile more than usual /;
TO rayse water from lowe places and
myndes and coale pitts by n new way
never yet in use: to make hard iron soft.
and likewise copper to be tufe and soft,
which Is not in use within this kingdomc,
and 20 make yellow wax white verlc speed
ny" Evidently he desired TO cover about
the whole earth
The above tends TO show that the Eng
lish patent system rather encourages the
conception of devices that are OF no use
and are altogether Irrational, while the
patent laws of our country has resulted in
their discouragemont. Under the influence
Of our system invention has become q pro-
fcssion, so that now all the great cleo
and immense manufacturing concerns,
employ men, graduated from scientific
schools, at large salaries, who devote
their entire time to the developing of new
machinery and the improvement of the
old. In electricity this is especially true.
over 10000 patents for electrical devices
have been issued in the United States
during the last few years, and these inven-
tons have been the results of systematic
thought and study.