Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
AN ARTISTIC VALET.

Jack Warne, dramatist, found himself
bound by his rising position to engage a
valet and made known his want in the
usual way in The Times.
He had some answers, not very many
because good valet is less common than
a good clerk and the reply of Tomkins
was the most satisfactory Tomkins had
been valet for seven years to Prince Arloff
and could refer with confidence to that
prince as we'll as to other leading lights of
fashion.
Tomkins asked the favor of personal
interview. Warne agreed and, carrying on
into reality, as usual, the life which he
put on the stage, pretended to be some one
else.
Or, rather, he was Mr.. John Warne of
the Albany, where Tomkins was to call,
but he was only engaging a valet on be-
half of a friend who had suddenly been
called into the country.
So impossible is it for stage man not
to be STACEY.
With agreeable punctuality Tomkins
came
''Mr. Warne, sir9 My name is Tomkins.
l.
yertisement in Tho Times for valet"
"Ah, yes. My friend, who has sudden
ly been called into the country, asked me
to sec you. What can you do?"
my qualification, sir, is that my mas
ter is always the best dressed man in Lon
don. I was obliged to leave my last mas
ter, Prince Arloff, because my health
would not stand the climate of St. Peters
burg, but he will give me the highest testi-
monials."
''Have you any other characters9'
II can let you have copies of my other
testimonials, with slight stress on tes-
timonials. II am well known to most of
the London tradesmen, and Ispeak French.
German, Spanish and Russian"
Warne spoke to him in French, which
was the only language of the four in
which the author could make himself un-
derstood. Tomkins replied in very good
French, so good that it at once showed
that he was not such as aristocrat as his
appearance might have given one to sup
pose.
"And what do you want9"
"My salary, sir, must be e15 a month. :"
"Is that all?" said Warne, meaning to
convey tinge Of sarcasm.
"That is all, sir" said Tomkins. or
course he noticed the tone, but being a
we'll trained servant he did not seem to
notice it.
What are your other requirements
"Four suits of clothes per annum and
all my masters discarded clothes. must
also pay all bills"
"What are you to get out of the billsP"
"You may rest assured, sir, that my
master will pay no more than If he paid
his bills himself; also if he requires sec
ond man l must do the engaging, and
must be able to dismiss him when wish,
or lean maintain no authority over him. "
"What do you consider your dutiesP"
"rhe only things of which take charge
are my masters clothes and writing ma
terials. If he has any particular valuable
collections of objets d art or antiquities, l
might be able to take them under my
charge.
81 must not be required to wait upon
my master, but if he should be staying in
a country house, where it Is the custom,
would consent to wait on him alone for a
short time.
"When we stay at hotels, / am not to be
expected 10 nave my lHcitlS WIFI tIio eoIN
ants but must use the courier's room.
May i ask who my master would be-"
"Your master would be a literary man. :"
''That will be delightful, SIR. myself
have literary tastes, and shall be glad to
have congenial society,"
Warne smiled at the idea of literary
valet and said, "What has been your par
ticular line in literature?'
Some few trifes of verse, sir. What is
the metier of my new naster?''
"The drama"
II shall enjoy that very much. A well
known author?'
myself. will not be vain enough to
say that am well known
Mr.. Warne, the dramatic author9 I
think you write melodrama and burlesque,
sir, do you not? don't think we should
prove congenial companions. Perhaps you
will kindly excuse me. My literary tastes
are very different
And with sad look of shocked artistic
feeling Tomkins bowed himself out.--St.
Pau1,S