Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-21
| AM GUILTY.

It is trite old saying that there can
be no love without jealousy. Twas pas
sionately attached to my wife and ! will
freely confess that I was madly jealous
of her, and with good cause it would
seem. One day met her out talking to
a strange man, who moved hastily away
Oh my approach She was confused agi-
tated, and when I taxed her with it re-
fused to tell me who he was. His name
was Leeson-that was all she would
say. Constraint and mistrust rose up
between us then, and we babe long
farewell to happiness.
1t came to terrible crisis when one
day, returning home at all unexpected
time. found him in my house. I over
heard part of their interview, beheld
the passionate kiss of farewell, and wild,
mad, distracted, rushed into the street.
Here met Clement Grimston, to whom
I poured forth all my wrongs. He said
he knew something Of this man Lesson,
and would take me to little public
house in Rotherhithe, where 1 might
meet him and demand an explanation,
but at the same time implored mo to do
nothing RASH
All that day stepped my senses in
strong drink, the FOOLS Lethe, wherein
he browns all his troubles l saw Grim
ston again, and at night we went to
Rotherhithe. 1t was low, horrible den.
and it is strange what one who appeared
a gentleman could be doing there. !
met him, but by this time I was so mad
and blind with drink and with passion
that all that followed is an utter blank
to me.
When at last I returned to complete
consciousness, the first faint gray streaks
of morning light were peeping between
the blinds, and lay on a couch in my
own house. The only other occupant of
the room was Clement Grimston, who
paced restlessly up and down.
"What is the matter?" I cried. pass
ing my hand over my brow. "What has
happened? All, I remember, dimly.
Where is Adela?"
"She is gone. "
"Not with --! Oh, what happened
last night? I can't remember. What a
fool was to drink like that Tell me,
Crimson, for heavens sake, tell meV'
"Dont you really remembers" he
asked slowly as he gazed down stead
fastly at me.
emo"
"You met Eric Lesson. You had a
terrible quarrel. You were SO drunk you
seemed unconscious Of what you said or
did. tried to restrain you You would
not listen to me, and them
sThen what?" I demanded, starting
to my feet.
There was a pause. We looked at each
other, stupidity helpless, he with a
solemn pity and sorrow in his eyes.
| Eyes, what them" Iexclaimed again.
He laid his hands upon my shoulders,
and bending forward whispered:
"Then you shot him deadF.
have left the country. lam dwelling
by myself in lonely hut high VI
among the Swiss Alps. I did not see my
wife before I left home. Thank HEAVIER
fer that How could I bid her farewell
Is she not faithless to me, and am not
guilty-guilty Of murder?
Clement Grimston was truly frient
in need to me in my present horrible
situation. He had managed to get mi
away from the public house at Rother
hithe before my crime was discovered
before was conscious Of it myself-ant
he again it was who helped me to leav
England.
provided myself with money enough
for my few simple necessities. Adel
, has means of her own and will want TO
nothing, whatever may befall her. 1t j
: best she should think me dead-lost t
her forever. am no longer Oswald LIE
strange. ! have changed my identity
Would to God I could SO easily chang
the past! am indeed dead to the world
! / never, speak to soul, save now an
! then the shepherds and peasants Of tn
mountain land. When the English tray
elers pass near my retreat, shun ther
,. as would pestilence.
J Then there are the terrible night
. when I wake up in sweat from som
CHASTITY nightmare-bu otmore ghast
" than the reality-wake up in a
agony Of remorse for the human lif
.. which have taken. And then anothe
terrible thought generally follows upo
t this Suppose / should have made mis
, take? Suppose Adela could have 81
| planned had I given her time? Suppos
she should have been guiltless? Al
heaven! What difference can that max
now? None, save to intensity my suffel
!, ing and remorse. Inever dare approac
. her again. I must remain dead to he1
) for II am guilty! All, poor Adel'
5 how l loved her once-aye, and 10,
r her as much still, God help me!
y How can / 60 on leading this exis
ence? How 10 it all to end-this livir