davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1896-10-10

~ hob ASt hlc nave IL VIII Deat your
commissioner
After they had carefully groomed
Q. w. Burke for representative, Mr..
Walkers friends, with their eyes
opened by shelley quietly observ-
ed to Messrs. Feast and Lawless, If
Walker is turned down yoar commits
sioner is beaten" That settled it for
Feast must have Sam Higbee on the
board TO get his enormous salary bills
through. Burke was called off and
Walker given the nomination. Burke
will be put up for water commission
er, if either Adams or Bailey Is elect
ed governor. Professor Traxler is
being softly patted on the back and
doubtless imagines he has sure
thing for re-appointment to that po-
sition. He will know more later ON.
Everything above the earth or below
It is promised to gain the commits
sioner, for those bills must be paid.
Last year Mr. Fcast enjoyed the
modest salary of almost $1,000. This
year he hopes to do some better. We
haven't all the figures before us vet.
but for.July, August and September
his salary bills were Si23 for July
Sl30 and for August and September
S2A3 There were no schools in the
county during Jnly and August, but
taxpayers must remember that brick
houses come high and must be fur
nished we'll Farmers on the north
side, struggling to keep their farms
from being sold for taxes, should
come across the river into town ON
the old road by Downers. They Will
then see fine brick house northwest
of town, and can figure out them
selves how much they have each paid
towards it.
This reform incorporation ad-
ministration in the interest of the
people" three years ago turned Ar
thur Crawford down because his bills
We're high, and nominated Mr.. Feast,
reformer in that respect Mr.. Craw
ford was graduate of the Boulder
University, and the county never had
a school superintendent so well quail
fled for the position. Please CON-
pare his old bills with those of the
present encumbent, and then spell
reform. 1t comes high but corpora
tons must be put down.
Now we have proposition to make
to the taxpayers. Mr.. Coolidge is a
thorough business man, eminently
qualified for the duties of commis-
sioner. If elected it will make the
board republican against demo
populist county administration. One
will watch the other and perhaps the
poor taxpayers will derive some ben
eft, or at least get value received for
their money. Let MS try it for year
anyway and see how it will work.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

OH, YE FACES.

Faces, faces
Crowding city streets and places.
Bright with hope and love, and laughter
Dark with passions of despair
On the story of the faces,
Angel faces, demon faces,
races. faces everywhere.
On, the beauty of the faces,
Sunny locks and fairy graces
hitCIe wandering CLEANS of heaven,
Lost among the ways O. men.
oh the brightness of the faces,
Maiden faces, childish faces,
Beauty in all forms and phases
SoJourner and denizen.
oh the pathos of the faces,
Blighted hopes and dark disgraces.
when the angel robe is spotted, and the
Wnlte soul stained with sin;
Oh the story of the faces
Women faces, youthful faces
All tne harp-chords strained and broken
Ere the anthem could begin.
oh the pallor of the faces,
Flying from the cold death places
Seeking, in the shouting highways,
Respite from the hell within.
oh! the sadness of the faces,
Mother faces, widow faces,
Haggard with the toll and watching,
BY the night lamp, pale and thin.
Oh the horror of the faces,
Scowlings, frowns and dark menaces,
Sodden with thousand vices,
Hideous with the brand Of Cain.
Oh the terror of the faces,
Felon faces, traitor faces,
Plague spots on the fair creation,
Nightmares Of a fevered brain.
Faces, faces
city streets and places
Faces smooth with youth and beauty.
Faces lined with age and care.
Oh the story of the faces,
or the glad and weary faces,
Of the faces everywhere.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25
POETRY
HEART VENTURES.

| stood and watched my ships go out.
Each one by one, unmOoring free,
What time the quiet harbor filled
With tloodtide from the sea.
The first that sailed, her name was ,Jov
She spread smooth, white ample sail
And eastward drove with bending spars
Before the singing gale.
Another sailed, her name was Hope.
No cargo in her hold she bore
Thinking to find in Western lands
or merchandise q store.
The next that sailed, her name was Love
She showed a red flag at the mast
A flag as red as blood she showed,
And she sped South right fast.
The last that sailed her name was Faith.
Slowly she took her passage forth;
Tackled and lay to at last she steered
A straight course for the North.
My gallant ships, they sailed away,
Ger the shimmering summer sea:
/ stood at watch for many day
But one came back to me.
For Joy was caught by pirate Pain,
Hope ran upon a hidden reef,
And Love took fire and foundercd fast
In whclming seas Of grief.
Faith came ut last, storm beat and torn.
She reCompensed me for my loss;
For as a cargo safe she brought
A crown linked to n cross.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25
" Fred Fenton, sir" was the re-

4" Fred Fenton, SIR" was the re-
ply.
John Brent remembered the name
and the boy. He looked at him
keenly, pleased smile crossing his
face.
You can stay" no said. "pve
been suited sooner than | expected
to be, he added, looking at the other
boys and dismissing them with @
wave of his hand.
Why did you take me ?" asked
Fred, in surprise. &" Why were in
quiries not necessary in my case ?
You do not know me-"
Il know you better than you think
| do" John Brent said, with a sig
niticant smile.
But | offered you no recommen-
dations," suggested Fred.
My boy, it wasn't necessary" :"
replied John Brent. 81 overheard
you recommend YOURSELF"
But as he felt disposed to enlighten
Fred he told him about the two con-
versations he had overheard.
Now, boys, this is true story,
and there is moral in it. You are
more frequently observed, and heard
and overheard, than you are aware
of. Your elders have a habit of
making an estimate of your mental
and moral worth. You cannot keen
late hours, lounge on the corners,
visit low places of amusement,
smoke cigarettes, and chaff boys
who are better than you are with
out older peoples making note of
your bad habits.
How much more forcibly and
creditably, pure speech, good breed
ing, honest purposes, and parental
respect would speak in your behalf!
Days.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

vor. The man was a good deal in
jured, and was In bed at a public
house, to which the corpse of the
poor traveller had also been conveyed
The minister at once begged to be
taken thither, and so strongly was
he impressed with the conviction
that his dream had had a literal full
filment, that he entered the room of
the sick man with the fullest inten-
tion Of taxing the man for murder.
But when he approached the bed he
saw face totally unlike the one
which had haunted his sleep, and
every feature of which was vividly
impressed on his memory. His
visit to the poor dead youth had a
like result.
These stories are actual facts, for
the truth of which / can vouch. |
will leave all speculations on the sub.
ject to those who read them.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

A GENTLEMAN, wishing to move
into the country, looked at small
farm with a view to renting it. The
negotiation was nearly completed,
when the question of hiring, also, the
farmers cow came up. She was an
excellent cow, the farmer said, and
even after feeding her calf would
give five quarts of milk day.
" Five quarts day ~ said the city
man; "thats more than our whole
family could use." Then noticing
the calf following it's mother about
the pasture, he added: "PH tell
you what, will hire the small cow.
l think she's just about our size"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

A FARMER in the Kansas cyclone
district was building a stone WALL
He was putting it there to stay, build
ing it five feet across the base and
four feet high. A stranger came rid
ing by, and seeing the care the farmer
was taking, said to him, You seem
to be mighty careful about that wall"
" Yep" replied the farmer, " Pm or
building her to stay" "It amt no
use," replied the stranger; "it'll
blow over just the same." "Wall,
let her blow over, she'll be a foot
higher if she does" replied the
farmer, continuing his work.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25
NUMBER 5.

HIS RETORT CoURTEoUs.-She
had yielded to the destinations of the
new woman idea and was at least a
neck ahead Of the most advanced.
Her husband was meek and lowly,
and they lived out on Fannin Street.
After supper she put on her bloom
ers, got her hat and cane, and said she
was going down to the club for an
hour or two. Henry had gone to
bed and was trying to figure out why
he had been born. She reached up
to the gas burner and said, els there
anything can do for you, Henry,
before put out the light ?" Yes,
my dear; Pm feeling rather nervous
tonight. Wonld you mind looking
under the bed to see if there's wo-
man there before you go out ?"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

HARD TO ENPLAIN.-A Wash.
ington professional man has an in,
telligent horse, says the STAR. The
gentleman named is in the habit OF
going on occasional sprees, and when
he does, the horse knows at once
that his driver does not want to 90
homo, and takes him to country
house about seven miles from the
city.
The professional man, when about
to spend an evening among the boys
sends word to his wife that he has
been called out of town, and in this
way has been able to keep the fact
that he drinks secret from every
one except the companions with
whom he goes on sprees.
A few evenings ago the wife and a
lady visitor started for drive. The
horse noticed that something was
wrong with the way the lines were
grasped, and started for the country
place, suppOsing that the owner was
intoxicated again. No amount Of
pulling or whipping could make him
change his course, and about dark
he halted in front of tho resort
Here, Tom," called the proprietor,
"-'s drunk again. Come and
help me carry him in. And Dan,
put up the horse"
Now, the lady is visiting her
mother in Virginia, and it will take
a strong pledge upon her husbands
part to induce her to return.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

How often do we hear people say,
Where in the world do all the flies
come from ?" 1t is simple enough,
says an exchange: "The topers make
the bottle fly, the cyclone makes the
house fly, the carpenter makes the
saw fly, the boarder makes the but
ter fly, the dancer makes the heel fly,
the jockey makes the horse fly, the
Cubans make the Spanish fly, and
the tin can makes the dog fly"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

MOST EXTRAORDINARY COUN-
TRY" How did this doosid place
get Its name ?'' asked the sitting
Britisher. "The night it was
named," explained the Oshkosh citi-
zen, "they::was lot offellers drink
ing hot Scotch. Finally they got
full. am decided to name the town
Hot Scotch but by that time they
was 50 full that the highest they
could come to it was Oshkosh an
they let it go at that" "Haw -
Pow american %
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

a TOURIST was being driven over
part of the country in Ireland
where his Internal majesty appeared
to have given his name to all the OBJ
jects of interest in the locality, for
there was the DEVILS Bridge, the
DEVILS Cauldron, the DEVILS Glen,
etc. Said the traveller, "The devil
seems to be the greatest landowner
in these parts !" '.Ah sure, your
Honor" replied the jarvey, that is
so, he lives in England. / think
he's what they call the absentee land
lord in Ireland"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

AN exchange says sc" is the most
unfortunate letter in the alphabet,
because it is never in cash, always
in debt and never out of danger
Our exchange forgets that the afore-
said letter Is never in war but always
in peace. 1t is the beginning of ex-
istence, the commencement of esse
and the end of trouble. Without it
there would be no meat, no bread,
no water, no life, no gospel, no re-
dem DtiOn
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

lowing to you not having screens
in your car-windows," said the trav-
eler, 4" got cinder in my eye, the
other day, and it cost me ten dollars
to get it out. l want to know what
you are going to do about it ?"-
" Nothing, my dear SIR" said the
railroad official ave have no use
for the cinder, and you are perfectly
welcome to it. On a strict construc-
tion of facts, you did go off with our
property. The cinder, of course,
was not yours, but we do not care to
make trouble for you in so samll a
matter. Pray, do not give the incl
dent a moments thought
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

a DISMAL FAILURE.-One of the
most amusing stories of the day treats
of fmlstaken philanthropy. At "a GER
tain army post there was sentry on
duty near the hospital. The surgeon
was preparing to go to bed inside,
when he was annoyed and alarmed
at the sentry's coughing. His expert
enced ear told him that the man had
a severe bronchial atfiiction, needing
a strong remedy.
He debated awhile with himself,
and then going into the dispensing
room, compounded a powerful mix
ture. This he took outside to the
sentry with instructions to swallow
it Immediately. The man refused
The surgeon insisted and finally COM
manded the man to take the medi-
cine, which he did with much grum-
bling. Then the worthy surgeon
went to bed, pleased to hear no more
coughing.
Next morning, to his surprise, the
commanding officer sent for him,
and said that the sentry had COM
planned, declaring that the surgeon
had forced him to swallow some
thing he thought was poison. An
investigation followed, and revealed
the fact that while the surgeon was
mixing the medicine the coughing
sentry had been relieved, and con.
sequently the remedy had been given
to the wrong man.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25
Notice.

HAVE returned home to remain
L this fall and winter. Ihaye located
IN DIR. 5. III. Austin's office. op Main
street, to work at my trade. Work
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction.
AIS Aiso still continue my oculist business.
WIZ call on any parties who desire
"laSses, If they will let me know.
have also added to my line of busi-
ness repairing of all kinds of Sewing
machines. Also all kinds of material
Tor them on hand. All work guaran-
iced. Bring on your machines.
Very respectfully,
j. A. LOWE,
oct. 24-tf. Jeweler u Optician.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

"I'D like to hear you play the vio-
lin, Mr.. Tillinghast," said 7-year-old
Tommy Dillingham;, who was enter
tanning the caller.
But 1 don't play the violin,
Tommy"
"Then papa must be mistaken
/ heard him tell mamma that YOU
played second fiddle at home"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

BE EASY with the growing colt
and the growing boy. They can be
made to do full days hard, ex-
hausting work for a while, but it
doesn't pay. Overstrained boys
make stunted, round shouldered,
listless, stupid men. Don't do it,
even if the work does crowd a little
in the busy season.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

A LITTLE girl heard a sermon
from the words, my cup runneth
over surely goodness and mercy
shall follow me to the end of my
life" On returning home, she was
asked If she could remember the
minister's text, and replied: "Yes,
indeed. 1t was this Mercy Good
ness My cups tipped Over.'"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

SPEECHES THAT NEED EDITING.
Speeches frequently "read better
than they sound" as the common
saying goes, sometimes for one rea-
son, sometimes for another. So
called verbatim reports" are fire.
quently such only by courtesy. The
reporter has taken the liberty to
"edit" the speakers words-greatly
to the speakers aud readers advan.
tage. In England, some years ago,
considerable talk was made in favor
of printing parliamentary speeches
word for word as they were spoken,
and one paper, the NetO Times, gave
the plan trial. The result was
good in one respect-it afforded the
people subject for mirth.
A writer in Scottish Nights says
that Lord Castlereagh exhibited
himself as " standing PROSTATE at the
foot of majesty" and as walking
forward with his back turned to him
SELF" One of the Irish members.
Sir Frederick Flood, has been espe-
cially earnest in favor of verbatim
reports, but he changed his mind af-
ter seeing one of his own rhetorical
efforts printed without the usual
editing. 1t ran thus /" Mr.. Spaker,
as l was coming down to this house
to perform my duty to the country
and ould Ireland, I was brutally at
tackled, sir, by a mob, Mr.. SPEAKER,
of ragamuffins, sir. If, sir, any hon
orable gintleman is to be assaulted,
Mr.. SPEAKER, by such parcel of spal-
poems, sir, as were after attacking
me, Mr.. SPEAKER, then I say, Mr..
SPEAKER, tnat ifyou do not, Mr.. SPEAKER,
be after protecting gintlemen like
myself, sir, we cannot be after COM
ing to the House of Parliament at
all, at all, Mr.. Spaker. And, sir,
may be after axing you, sir, what,
sir, would become, sir, of the bust.
ness of the country, Mr.. SPEAKER, in
such case, Mr.. Spaker? Will you,
sir, be after answering myself that
Mr.. Spaker? It's myself
that would like an answer, sir, to the
sir, as soon as convenient,
sir, which / have asked you, Mr..
Spaker."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

"The first time you brought this
watch In here to be repaired" said
the jeweller, "it was in gold case,
the second time in silver case, and
now In brass case" Yes" re-
piled his customer, circumstances
later cas4s.O ...H
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

A LAWYER residing in the north
of England, and noted for his la
comic style of expression, sent the
following terse and witty note to
refractory client, who would not sue
cumb to his reiterated demands for
the payment of his bill. "Sir, if
you pay the enclosed you will oblige
me. If you do not, shall oblige
ynu -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

MAMMA" said the little girl at
the flower show, who had absorbed
during the evening a glass of lemon
ade, a quantity of cider, and some
grape juice, " 1 wish you would buy
me drink of water; want some
thing to unthirst me.o
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.

WE are now prepared to do TIN
" WORK of all kinds. Nothing
but lirst-class meterial used. Satisfac-
ton guaranteed. Give us trial and
be convinced that we mean what we
say. ROOFING and SCOUTING a
speciality. Shop in the rear of Law &
Handley's.
MCCLEARY 8 DARNELL,
Aug. 25-1y. Lewisburg, w. Va.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

TAKING A BATH IN JAPAN
According to writer in 1.-The Gentle
mans Magazine" taking bath in
Japan is very public function. "At
last the water was ready" he says,
"and we were told that we could
have our bath. But what about all
these people p we asked, pointing to
the crowd Of women and children
assembled in the yard. sOh they've
come to see,' was the reply. Now,
Englishmen, as rule, are modest
beings, and ] fancy that most men
would feel certain amount of bash
fulness If called upon to stand up
and bathe in the presence of fifty
women and children, 30 M. whis-
pered to me, Pm going to bed dirty
tonight unless those people clear
out.' / told him he must not think
Of such base conduct, and reminded
him Of the story in the Pink We'd.
ding Of the gentleman who refused
his bath In the presence of the
moozmi attendant; how she went
out and told her friends that the
poor man was possessed of caudal
appendage and how he had to fec
the village to prevent maltreatment
as an agent of the devil. My friend
was persuaded, and we stripped tt
the buff AS each garment came
off the crowd closed in, and the wo
men strove among themselves fol
the pleasure of pouring water dowr
our backs.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

"I HAVE written new version of
an old song" "What do you call
Il? ?" h" When the bloomer's on the
bike.'n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

AN FRESHMAN, on seeing notice
In haberdasher's window one day
which ran as follows: Everything
sold here by the yard" entered and
asked the man of the shop if he sold
buttermilk. eyes," was the answer.
"Then give me yard" said Pat.
"All right" said the man and dip.
ping his finger in dish Of milk at
his side, he drew it yard in length
on the counter. " Anything else ?''
he queried, triumphantly, of Pat.
"No," said Pat "just rowl 1t up In
piece Of paper, and I'll take it with
mo-"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

THERE is moral in this story told
of the late Allen G. Thurman
When he said, upon one occasion, to
a party of friends on the Pacific
coast, that he did not wish to be
President, he probably then meant
just what he said, although the jovIal
party were slow to believe it. He
let their doubling smiles pass by un-
noticed, and after a time turned the
conversation upon Ohio fish, declar.
ing that in that State he had seen cat
fish that weighed from seventy to
eighty pounds. This statement was
received with even greater incredu-
lity than the other. The Senator
said nothing, but on his return to the
East called upon Columbus dealer
and told him to buy the largest cat
fish the market afforded and send it
by express to his friends in Oakland +.
When it arrived-75 pounds, packed
in ice-it was duly tested, and a reso-
luton then and there adopted that
Allen G.. .Thurman's statements could
be relied upon whether referring to
the Presidency or fish.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25

WICKED William
Ferrero in the Forum discovers the
same characteristics existing in some
of the lower animal species as are
found in humans:
Almost every form and variety OF
human crime is to be found among
animals. Cases of theft are noticed
among bees. Buchuer, in his L" Psy-
chic Life of Animals" speaks OF
thievish bees, which, in order to
save themselves the trouble of work
ing, attack well-stocked hives in
masses, kill the sentinels and inhabi
tants, rob the hives and carry off the
provisions. After repeated enter
prises of this description they &C.
quire taste for robbery and vic.
lence; they recruit whole compa-
MES, which get more and more nu.
merous; and finally they form regu.
lar colonies of brigand bees.
But it is a still more curious fact
that these brigand bees can be pro.
duced artificially by giving working
bees mixture of honey and brandy
to drink, The bees soon acquire q
taste for this beverage, which has
the same disastrous effect upon them
as upon men ; they become ill-dis.
posed and irritable, and lose all de.
sire to work and finally, when they
begin to feel hungry, they attack
and plunder the we'll supplied hives
There Is one variety of bees - the
Sphecodes-w which lives exclusively
upon plunder. According to Mar.
chall, this variety is formed of in.
dividuals of the Haly etes species
whose organs of notification were
defective, and which have gradually
developed into a separate variety
living almost exclusively by plum.
der. They may thus be said to be
an example of innate and organic
criminality among insects, and they
represent what Prof. Lombroso calls
the born criminals-that is, individ
uals that are led to crime by their
own organic constitutions.