davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
PITH AND POINT.

-She-'I see they have now Wom-
ans Dictionary Do you suppose THAI
differs from any other?" He-"Prob-
ably has more words in it.''-Yonkers
Statesman.
-"Bixby has given up learning to
play chess" TOO much for his mental
caliber?" "No, he hurt his jaw trying
TO pronounce the names of the leading
lhyers."--Clevsiand Plain Dealer.
I'D like 20 ssk one thing" said the
cross boarder. "Wilat is it, please?"
asked the landlady. 'How do you get
this steak cooked so hard without even
getting it hot?"-Cincinnati Enquirer.
IL am plain man. said Bloughly.
"and l believe in being practical. l
love you, and want you to be my wife,"
well" replied the fair one, "how
much are you worth ?"-Philadelphi
North American.
You are over 40; why don't you
marry?" Because / do not care to
marry an elderly woman, while young
cir. would be foolish to marry me, and
do not care TO marry foolish girl
Fliegende Blaetter.
"A Martyr to the Cause.-"Your
teacher tells me you were not at school
yesterday. Now, young man, you know
what you are going to get" Bob firm
ly)-'I do, pop; and I'm willing TO be
licked any day for circus parade like
that."-Life.
Time to Quit. DO you think
your daughter has good time,
Grumpley?" 'If she has no better
time while she is humping that old
piano than / have, you better present
your bill, professor, aid quit."-De-
troit Free Press.
Misunderstood Her Meaning
Algy-"Miss Cutting evidently thinks
Cholly and / are fast friends" Horace
How do you know" Algy-"Why.
last night when she saw us come in
the room together she said: Two souls
with but a single thought How full
of sentiment she brooklyn Life.
well" said the sarcastic man, as he
walked out of the theater between acts.
"I'm ever so much obliged TO that girl
who sits in front of me. don't know
but I'll tell her So" You mean the
one with the frightfully big hat?'
"Yes." II don't see what you're obliged
to her for" For not raising her par
asol."-Detroit Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

As the Christmas bells are ringing their
chimes Of peace and love.
And the voices OF the angels come floating
from above.
on. Thou who art in Heaven" for our 1T
tie ones we pray
Thy tenderest- sweetest blessing on this
their Christmas day.
And 10 us, whose hearts are glowing with
gratitude TO Thee.
That Thou hast spared our darlings. with
their sunshine and their glee.
Wit Thou send Thy daily presence. give
us patience with our love.
Give that wisdom. Heavenly Father. that
can come but from above.
And the power to do our duty by these
precious ones, We pray,
Re the longed- for Christmas blessing v hsch
Thou sendest US to-day.
Good Housekeeping.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

1t is natural, therefore, that the volume
of contributions, either in money or
clothes, for the benefit of the poor
should be sensibly increased even since
the fall of the snow the other morning.
The stream of public and private
charity which flows deep and broad in
this city is divided into great many
rivulets and rills of vary ing size and inn
portance, but all reaching the homes
of want and poverty and giving aid
which is most needed. There is the
charitable individual, sometimes with
a heart as large as his purse, and then,
again, with the purse in inverse ratio 10
the size of the heart. He or she visits
the poor at their homes and gives help
as ii seems the occasion demands. They
use their friends as their bankers, and
very cheerful bankers most of them
prove to he, with a good-natured lax
less in regard to the cashing of checks.
The truth is, the majority of good,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Not That .,Ina of Ror.

Visitor-Johnny. are you making
great Preparations az your Sunday school
for Christmas?
Johnny-rm not going to Sunday
school now, ma'am.
visitor-Not going to Sunday school?
Johnny--Nome. l quit last Sunday.
l don't want folks to think I'm one Of
these boys that's only good durin' tho
holidays. I'll start again after Christ
mas Is oyer.-Chicago Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

and about once an hour we had to 50
out there and take a look nj them.
1t was growing dark on Christmas
eve when a stranger on foot turned IN
at our gate and asked for lodgings He
was a weIl-drsssed. keen-lOOking man.
and the fact OF. his being or foot and
the village tavern only two miles away,
ought TO have set father 10 thinking
Mother eyed him uspiciously. but when
the man said he had rheumatism, and
that he expected 20 pay for his enter
tainment. father invited him in and APP
reared 10 think that il was all right
Not so with sam and Z. however. We
didn't like the looks Of the man. ana
when we discovered that he used pro-
fame Language and chewed plug tobacco
we put him down as a bad man. After
supner the man told father that he lived
in Cincinnati and had come To look a.
n farm on the Six-Mile road He made
an effort ia he entertaining and agree
able. and though he succeeded with the
cid folks sam and couldn't give him
sny credit.
There was bedroom of the parlor.
aud 1t was arranged that he should
sleep in there. Also that Santa Claus
should leave the gifts for father and
mother On the parl1r table after he had
gone TO bed. sam and I would hang
our kings in the kitchen. TIE man
exc. / himself about nine o'clock and
went to bed. and ten minutes later the
watch aud shawl were on the table. and
mother had promised not even TO look
IN. We hustled OF to bed. and by half
past nine father and mother came up.
do YOU s'pOse that teller heard
about the watch and shawl?" queried
Sam.-as we got into bed
How could he2''
Il dunno. but believe he Just came
here to steal 'em. II he was gOin' 10
look at n farm on the Six-Mile road why
didn't he get OFF the train at Grafton ?
III bet you he robs the house and clears
out before morning."
Lets tell fatheri~
He wouldn't believe it. and i would
only scare ma"
We talked the matter over for few
minutes and then fell asleep. and the
old clock down in the kitchen was
striking IL when Sam Budged me
with his elbow and whispered:
That fellow is robbing the house.-'
-HOw do you kroW7"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

the storm. 1t was much like the bliz-
yards of Iowa, Minnesota and Dakota,
as they were experienced by the writer,
some years ago.
The coming of the snow seems ia
have emphasized the fact that want and
suffering exist among the poor of the
city. However, this fact has been a
familiar one to those interested in the
administration of charity ever since the
cold weather began. 1t is the cold that
develops a good deal of the need for re-
lief. Ii is the snow, as a rule, that
causes the general public to realize that
there are those who stand in need of help
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
ARTISTIC FARM ENTRANCE.

by hedge, the opening through which
is flank ed at one side by tree, and
on the other by huge bowider, both
objects which are entirely harmonious
with the landscape ana with nature
Notwithstanding that cannot be
said of all the bounds to driveway en-
frances that one sees. If one has 1
name for his place, it can very appro-
priately be GUY upon the outer face OF
the bowlder. The same arrangement
could be used very effectively for a
footpath entrance. In this case, the
bowIder may not occupy so much
ground space, but have an equal height
with the bowlder suited for a carriag,
characterization Agriculturist.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

were growing for Christmas, and Sam
and l were in court later on when be
was sent to prison for five years.
Boys" said my father. after the man
had been taken away from the stables
and we had returned to the house,
boys, thank We a thousand times over
Tor this watch, which is something I've
sorter wanted for years, but let me
Jest tell We that We both orter be taken
out and licked fer not tellin' me abou,
that robber till re had him safely locked
up. Don't We never do SIGH a thing as
that ag'in as long as We live or the face
of this airth."
And. boys" added mother, with tears
in her eyes. as she Rugged the shawl
and us. too. Il not only thank We as
much as father does, but l say We did
Jest right in not wakin' us up; I'd have
had fit and father might have tumbled
downstairs. and there's no tellin who'd
ADJUSTED up or who'd a tumbled into
the cisteru!"
c4.ssC DDnrrJrn
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

roofs, are extended out at right angles
from each side of the old barn at one
end The interior arrangement is
shown in the floor plan-Fig. 2. A feed
car, with track, is arranged for the
feed floor and the feeding alley in front
of the cows.
A double silo, grain room and calf
pens, with lofts over them, occupy one
side of the barn proper, while calf pens
and hay bay occupy the other side.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

Thus the main barn is used main
ly for the storing of feed. while
the addition is given up to the
stalls. The expense of such a plan
will be very much less than would be
entailed by the building of new barn,
or even a lengthening of the old one,
while the plan shown herewith gives a
much more convenient arrangement
than could otherwise be had.-Orange
Judd Farmer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
VICTIMS OF HARD LUCK.
Washington's Helpless Poor Are
Counted by Thousands.
Negroes Furnish the Largest Contingent
10 the Ar,py of Unempioyed-wha
Organized Charity is Do
ing for Them.
Especial washington ..etter.l

The most beautiful roses of summer
are guarded by thorns; and that fact
has often been used TO point moral
and adorn the tale that all the sweets
of life are mingled with the bitter.
The beautiful snow has come again,
bringing with il sorrow and suffering
10 thousands of the poor people in our
cities. In the capital city of the re-
public fully 1000 families were without
fuel during the two days aud nights OF
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

"Cood win e men. Good VIII TO menF'
An. who sits wan and wistful there.
No Christmas joyance IN her soul.
Upon her lip no prayer?
Good viii to men, Good win 20 men,
IN the rich place the tones made way.
The pictured saints leaned down 70 hear,
Green-wreathed for Christmas day.
Good win to men, o. lady fair,
In spiendor weeping thus apart.
How strange IL seems a ragged boy
Should have 50 glad heart
For hungry are the helpless ones
Who look and long for his return:
And bare the chamber where they SIT,
And low the hearthfres burn
Good VIII to unenr' The meaning pierced
Though selfish impulse barred the way.
Deep 70 TIE lady's inmost heart.
That shiT .ng Christmas day.
And dimpIed children. cherub-faIr.
Who into Heaven had slipped away.
Seemed whispering 10 the mother there
Thoughts meet for Christmas day
OF little ones who moan for bread
While Christmas bells ring merrily.
20. give to them." one seemed TO say.
''As once you gave to me-"
Then 70 herself that lady said:
For my lost babes I've sorrowed long,
There comes a cure for aching hearts
In that sweet Christmas song"
She called the singer from the street
He sang II Ger and Ger again
Peace on earth 20 all who mourn:
Good will. good will 70 men!'
Through lane and alley. side by side
The singer and the lady went.
And, strange TO tell. ne was her guide
To measureless content
Within her stately rooms no more
she sits and signs the hours away.
The pictured saints look down and see
Sweet children at their play
,-Mary +. Butts. IN Youths Companion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

A remarkable march of 400 miles
across Siberia, occupying almost year.
has just ossn completed by two Russian
battalions of line infantry and two
batteries OF artillery. which lately
reached their camp on the Amur The
troops marched 1000 versts by land
and made their way for 1000 versts by
water, half the distance ON RATS con.
structed by themselves. Their losses
were men dead. % left behind in hos.
pitfalls and 20 horses. The others ar
rived in good condition and excellent
spirits.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
500 Reward 500.

The readers of this paper will be pleased
10 lea that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure il
all its stages, and that is Catarrh Hall:
Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure
known TO the medical fraternity. Catarri
being a constitutional disease, requires :
constitutional treatment Halls Catarrt
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
of the disease. and giving the patient
strength by 5gilding up the reconstruction anC
assisting nature in doing its work. ThG
proprietors have so much faith IN its cura
tive powers that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that il fails to cure
Send for list of testimonials.
Address F. j. CHENEY q Co, Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 15c.
Halls Family Pills are the best
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life

If you want to quit tobacco using easily
and forever, be made well, strong, magnetic
full of new life and vigor, take NO-TO-Bae,
the wonder-worker that makes weak meu
strong Many gain ten pounds in ten days
Over 100000 cured. Buy No-TO-Bac from
your own druggist, who will guarantee a
cure Booklet and sample mailed free. Ad-
Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago New York.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Iow Rates for Homeseekers

On the first and third Tuesday of eacl
month, tickets will be sold TO Homeseeker
in the northwest at greatly reduced rates L
visit Virginia and the Carolinas. Specla
low rates both one way and round trip. Sc
that your tickets read over the Big Fou
and Chesapealze and Ohio Ry. Send 70
free pamphlet descriptive of thefarm lands
climate, markets, etc. u. L. TRUITT, North
western Passr. Agent, pa Clark St. Chi
cage, III.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
To Paw a Penalty for Dining

Is rather hard, isn't itl Yet how many are
compelled 10 do this after every meal. Dys-
pepsla, that memorable prosecutor, never
ceases TO torment of its own vOlitiOn, and
rarely yields TO ordinary medication. But
tranquility of the stomach is IN store for
those who pursue a course of Hostetter'
Stomach Bitters. This fine corrective also
remedies malarial and kidney comp aints
rheumatism, constipation, biliousness and
nervousness.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
The Exports Of Cheese.

Yankee cheese-makers appear to be
letting Canadian cheese-makers get a
monopoly of the foreign trade. Dur
ing the fiscal year ending July i. 1853,
Canada exported cheese to the value OF
s14,253,O02. The value of that exported
by the United Sfsres was s5.495.53e.
The value OF the Canadian exports OF
cheese increased s1.0O1.ooo 3 year since
1890. Our exports. on the contrary.
show 2 falling off.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Through California service Via "The Mil
Yankee"

A fine Pullman Tourist Sleeping Car now
leaves Minneapolis az s:25 and ST. Paul a.
SIS every Saturday morning. and runs
through TO Los Angeles, Cal, via Kansas
City and the Santa Fe System, without
change. arriving destination % p. NJ. fol
lowing Wednesday:
The journey, via this route, is through a
very interesting portion of America, and
the hardship Incident to winter travel
through the more northerly climate is
avoided.
Rate per double berth go through. For
berth reservations, further information as
10 rates. etc. apply to 1.-THE MILWAUKEE
agents, or address }. T. CoNLEY, Asst Gen'L
Pass. Agent, ST. Paul, MINI.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Altered vision.

so you think Barbara Is in love With
Mr.. Fritters2"
"No doubt about it; she used to
make fun or his bald head. and now she
says it is perfectly beautiful. "-Chica-
90 Reeord
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

Mamma Ito Willie. who is sliding
down the cellar door, Willie. what are
you doing?
Willie-Makin' a pair O. pants fur a
poor orphan boy--Pittsburgh Bulletin.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

Lawyer-May it please the court,
,iect to that man as juror.
Judge-Your reason?
Il have three witnesses who can
swear that it isn't a week since they
saw him at news stand looking over
the oapers."-N. Y. Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
On to Washington /.

Those who contemplate visiting the capi'
tai during the Inauguration next March Will
do well 10 travel over the popular "Big
Four and picturesque Chesapeake anu
Ohio Ry. Write for descriptive pamphlet
and excursion rates. u. l.. TRCITT, y. w
z. A, 234 Clark St, Chicago.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
ARTISTIC ENTRANCE.

A Suggestion for Driveway which Ia
Pleasing to the Eye.
The accompanying illustration
shows an unusslal, but artistic, form of
entrance driveway. The highway is
separated from the adjoining grounds
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Too Mercifui.

Managerial afraid that this new
conductor will not be a success.
Superintendent-Nhy?
Manager-He treats the passengers
with TO much consideration.-Ero
Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Domestic Bliss.

shc-Do you gel on better with your
wife nowadays?
He-O, yes; we have arranged that
ere of us shall always be out when the
other is at home We are very happy.
-Noerte
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

Old Gentleman Ito railway porter)-
Porter, the rain is dripping in from
the lamphole all over my trousers.
Porter (reass tringiy)- sir: it's
quite watertight, assure you. It's only
the oil leaking bit.--London Tit-Bits.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
Along Vacation.

How 10th the little. busy bee
Improve each shining hour.
And gather honey all the day
From every opening fiowerH
He does il, for the rascal knows
That when the fields are drear
Hell then put on his Sunday clothes
And loaf for half year.
Il. A. w. Bulletin.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
ENIARGING a BARN.

Hints for Farmers Who Wish to Go In the
Dairy Business.
A common barn can be easily and
cbeaply changed into a dairy barn OF
large capacity, by employing such a
plan as that shown in the perspective
view-Fig. 1. Two wings, with shed
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
The Rising Kind.

or All the batters of a sporty might,
That never fails TO rise for glory's sake.
Give US the kind that waits on appetite
The mix that makes the luscious buck
wheat cake
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

some men become bald quite early in
life, while others die and have their wills
offered for probate before their heirs fall
out.-Texas Sitter.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

OLD BULLION -"whati You wish to
marry my daughterl She is a mere school
girl yet" Suitor-.sYes, sir. Icame early
20 avoid the rush. Modes and Fabrics.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

"WALKTSe has been pleasure TO me ever
since can remember" eyes; the painful
part of it was before you could remember"
Chicago Record.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24
A GLOOMY OutIook.

He-It takes brains to get along in
the world.
She-I am so sorry you have such
poor prospectss-Towp Topics.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

save and buy father a silver watch and
mother a new shawl for Christmas
Sam was IS and Two years younger.
and we were the sons Of farmer
who couldn't afford Injuries We
couldn't hope to do il all by ourselves.
though we did get enough together fer
the shawl. Our uncles and aunts an.
cousins Clipped in, and the ieweler
threw of 81 on the price of the watch.
and on the day before Christmas old
Santa Claus had the watch and shaw!
and father and mother hadn't the slight
est suspicion of what was in store for
them. Sam and lad sold apples, en-
bezzled eggs, disposed of old plow-
points, hoed corn for the neighbors.
gathered and sold hickory nuts and
worked various other schemes TO get
that S12 shawl and we had a right tc
feel elated and proud. We had the arti-
eles hidden in the hay NOW at the barn,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

THERE are people who would do great
acts; but because they wait for great oppor-
tunities, life passes, and the acts OF love are
not done at all.-Chicago Standard.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

Susie (angriIyl-sir, what right had
you TO kiss me2
Toni was labOring under delu-
sion.
Susie-ExpIain yourself. sir. What
delusion2
Tom-The same one you were under.
the misunderstanding Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

PIso's CURE cured me of Throa. and
Lung trouble OF three years standing. 4.
CADY, Huntington, Ind, Nov. u, 1884.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

FRS stopped free and permanently cured.
No fits after first days use Of Or. Kline 5
Great Nerve hestorer. Free = g ial bottle a
treatise. DIR. KLINE, 933 Arch St, Phiia., Pa.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

BAcKAcHE, toothache. frost-bites. too, ST,
Jacobs OIL viii cure-that's true.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

WAITER-"Will you have French fried po-
tatoes, sirln Herr Won Wachstetter thalf
rising from his chair in his indignation)-
s'V-a-tr'-BostOn Courier.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

IT is always the other fellow who brings
politics into the discussion of public ques-
tion. On our side we never sink below the
level of statesmanship.-Bost Transcript.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

I itisr' He-'Be stranger still If it were
! dry with such heavy rains. Comic Home
] Jnurnal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

THAT's Why He Was Hard Hearted
Kind Old Man-"Hard hearted man, did
YOU ever have a vouthi" Yes;
have several OF them Yankee Blade.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

Be sure: neuralgia will cease. st Jacobs
Oil the cure. Get ease.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

ssTuERE's one consolation" thought the
bargain hunter as she was blown 10 atoms
by a dynamite cartridge, ''this Is a fast
die. n-Harvard LampoOn.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

"No. MI dear. it's no use talking. shan't
give up smoking until I'm dead.n His
Wife tbitteriyl -..What leads You to be-
lyn Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

oUR lives are the open volume the world
reads.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1896-12-24

ENERGY and persistence conquer all
things. Benjamil Franklin.