Evening star., 1896-09-19

When a young Frenchman sees a girl
well suited to him he does rot go to her
and say, Il love YOU In the first place,
1t would be dishonorable; secondly, II
would make her faint. and, thirdly, he
never gets the chance. He soes instead
and tells his mother.
His mother tells his father. Then his
father takes a bath and goes to see his
brother, that is to say, IL there be one, or
ally other relation, business partner
mutual friend. Dressed in their best, they
make call on sCme relative or intimate
friend of the girls family. with a view Of
arranging a decisive meeting of the pa
rents, If the marriage seems convenient.
proper and appropriate. But before this
meeting can be brought about there must
be notes exchanged between the mutual
friends concerning fortune, family and po-
sition. 1t is only after making sure that a
complete appropriateness exists that for
NAL meeting of the young people them
selves Is risked.
1t is at ball or theater or dinner given
by some ether mutual friend that the young
people are confronted with each other.
The Opera Comique has long been favored
in this way by Paris families of the middle
class. Like most European play houses.
all its parquet circle and its galleries are
given up to little boxes Each one of them
has been the scene of many decisive
meeting.
The First Meeting.
the mother has her daughter sitting by
her in the box which she has taken. Be
tween the first and second acts the young
man Is brought to them by the mutual
friend, ostensibly to pay an unceremonious
little visit and inquire about their health.
They stay five minutes. speaking of the
play. the weather and the Paris season,
then retire. When they have gone the
n ia
marks to her daughter on the young mans
looks age. position and manners endeav-
orinE to find out gently what impression
has been made.
1t is admitted that mothers ought not to
instruct their daughters previously for this
encounter For If the girl has been cat
echised beforehand she will be SO filled with
apprehension and emotion as to lose her
grace ard naturalness. And she may not
have sufficient GOODNESS to observe If the
young man be pleasing to her or the con-
trary. She ought not to know the object
of the meeting. For If she fail to please, 1t
humiiated and lose confidence for the next
time. If it be true that young girl ought
rot to have too high ideas of her own
merits, it is also only proper that she
should not think too meanly of herself.
The mutual friends now meet and let each
other know what the effect has been. II
the girl has failed to please on close inspec-
ton, nothing further will be said. This is
seldom the case, however. when the young
man has fallen in love Of his own accord.
1t Is probable that he has already had op-
portunities of observing her sufficiently at
formal social gatherings, and it is for her
decision that they are now waiting There
fore it is only when the marriage has been
arranged entirely by the families that the
girl waits trembling.
| If she has failed to please the mutual
| friends when they meet again will simply
| talk about the weather. which is sign that
| the thing is off. But if it is the girl who
shows aversion for the young man. he will
| be told the truth politely Sometimes-and
| there are those who think 1t always should
| be practiced-a young girl favorably enough
| impressed nevertheless demands to see more
of the asprant before she gives her word
| 1t is arranged that she shall meet him then
as often as is possible, but not intimately
| Good taste demands, on his side, that the
| pretender ought to pay her no particular
| through his paces-social, intellectual and
physical-as if he did not dream of her in
| spection.
| Proposes by Proxy.
| The next step is the proposal
| The father of the aspirant or his elder
brother does it for him. The father of the
girl. or other legal guardian, should give
him an immediate response. At this inter
| view questions of fortune and the like are
| discussed with more detail, and notes art
made Of them for the final marriage con
l
the young man must put on his dress suit
| though 1t be 10 a.m.-and make forma
vist-to his future mother-in-law.
He ought to thank her warmly, but with
| cut exaggeration. Then he may ask to Sc,
his girl.
The next step is the betrothal, very pri
vate family party, to which mere friends
are not invited. You do not expose the art
less happiness and blushing joys Of a youn,
girl to the indifference of the merely curl
ous
Up to this period the position Of the tw,
young people may seem to the indifference
of curious Americans to bear a clos
analogy to that of the fond parent VIII
bought his boy boat. "Now, johnny h
said, do not touch 1t tonight, and tomor
row l will teach you how to sail it." Blu
the young man brings the ring himself t
the betrothal party, and he waits in pa
tience. knowing that in the end they canno
get along without him.
The Engagement Ring.
The young man brings the ring himself
| which he has bought himself, after havin
discreetly learned the special kind of ston
| desired. He should never chance It, fo
| scme girls are afraid of pearls becaus
they foretell tears, and everybody know
| the beryl is unlucky. The young man slip
the ring upon the finger of his fiancee.
Is the first time he has ever touched he
| fingers without gloves.
|
side, directly at the middle of the tabl.
The girl must wear a gay dress, tende
Iose, CELESTIAL blue, or white with highl!
cclored ribbons all about In the evenin
that follows the young people must be a
lowed to talk together without being ovel
heard. Sometimes the young man ma
have the happiness to be permitted to as
the girl to marry him. Immediately afte
he has been accepted by her parents.
Sometimes, by extraordinary favor. whel
fill confidence exists, there have been otl
er moments, fugitive, precarious, but all a
ranged beforehand notwithstanding. Bl
they have never been alone-nor will /
till their marriage. In the new. America,
lied society, Of which you will read muc
in Gyp, a change Is creeping DER the seen
but 1t Is only true of a small portion Of II
Paris world, the fast and rich. The chi
dren Of the very poor also arrange the
matches for themselves. and in the count II
districts there will be some counting. B,
the rule for the great mass Of the midd
class is, marry first and court her after
r Flowers and Jewels.
It is thought best that the girl shou
. never 60 out in public with her fiance; b,
. : If she does, there is no doubt to whom Il
4 youth should give his arm. Good taste d
mands that he should invariably escort h