Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-11-12
THE JOEER'S BUDGET.


or THE PRESS.
6HAlyticss - Blessed Reinsurance =. ne
Modern iiew---A Matter of Taste---No
uss---AvSsiabis Either Way.--They Knew
hsv---Etc.. Etc.
s',Nhat does Slykcr think about this
silver question:"
There's no telling All we know is
what he says"
BLESSED REINSURANCE.
have no work for YOU"
Rugged Strong" yer, sir; bless
yer"
THE MODERN VIEW.
Mamma-Why were the five virgins
whose lamps lacked oil called foolish.
Tommy Maybe they had their bikes
with 'em.
"What is an accommodation train,
papa?p
IAN accommodation train my sou, is
one that stops at every station that you
don't want To get OIL at"
BAD RESULTS.
"Binks is sort of Photographic lover.
isn't he"
Photographic? What do you mean?"
"Ahy, he's always bringing out mega
tives."
MATTER OF TASTE.
Gnetnn,ar No,, ora na;rm N 1tfraraot
kind OF soap from what you were, aren't
you?
Barber-What makes you think so?
1T doesn't taste the same"
FAIR ENoUGH.
His Fiancee-Are you sure you would
love me just as tenderly if Our conditions
were reversed-if you were rich and
were poor
He--keverse our conditions and try me.
LONG DRAWN OUT.
"How did you feel When Charlie was
proposing:"
Il felt sure I'd say yes if he ever got
through
HIS OCCUPATION.
what are you doing down there so
long," shouted the proprietor to ltas tus
'.lIelpin' 'Lias. sah."
"Whats 'Lias doing"
.Nutfin"
LEFT IT TO HIM.
.Jones-Hello, Smith Got home again?
SMITH suppose so. | don't look as
il was ont of town, do L.
AT THE INQUEST.
Coroner-Is this man whom you found
dead on the railroad track total stranger /?
Witness (who had been told by the
company to be careful in his statements
No, sor. His leg was gone intorcly
lie was a partial stranger
THEY KNEW HER
AIabel-fIow many engagement rings
did you bring back from the seashore.
Gertrude None.
Mabel-Why, how did that hap zen?
Gertrude nluckily. ! got in with the
same crowd that met last year.
AVAILABLE EITHER WAY.
Helen-IIe is extremely rcticent about
his family.
Her Brother-IIum must be good
man OF bad family or bad man of good
family. You had best encourage him.
The conversation dragged.
..lou are worth your weight in gold"
he ventured to observe to the girl he so
madly loved.
Excuse me-" she replied, freezingly,
"but ,ietcst politics"
Again the conversation dragged
AWKWARD, you KNOW.
Flossie - an you remember whether
Toms engagement ring had five dia-
monds.
Cissy-No. why?
Floss:e because I've Lost ring in In
water. and don't know whether it was
jacks or his.
COULDN'T RESIST.
Old Boy pride myself on keeping
myself 10 myself For instance. | did not
speak to my next Goor neighbor for ten
years.
son-IIow did you come to speak to
him first?
Old BOYLE brought hone new
bicycle and couldn't resist giving him
some hints how to ride it,
EXPLICIT
patrick. | was sorry TO hear that You
were arrested last week. What was the
charge against yOu!"
''Sivin dollars an costs. sir"
! mean, what were you charged with
when they brought you before the
.lustice:"
apple brandy, sor."
HARD TO TELL
Little May-Why do they consider
marriage snch an important step in life ?
Agatha-Because It's so hard To tell
whether its step up or down.
Real Value OF Potatoes.
The real value of potatoes depend,
upon the starch contained, which may
vary from thirteen per cent. to abou
twice as much. While the price does no
vary accordingly. 1t Is of advantage {,
c,iliiyaiors to select seed rich in starch
and u French inventor. NJ. \. Allard
has devised an instrument called tn,
feculometer for enabling them Ia Il,
this. 1t depends upon the principe tina