davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
PlTH AND POINT.

-"Jerome," exclaimed lady to he1
little son, "what are you throwing ia
those hens?" "Gold beads, mother: and
the foolish things think they are corn!''
us your baby strong?" well,
should say SO. He raised the whole
family out of bed at three o'clock this
morning. and scientists say that that s
the hour when everybody's strength is
at it's lowest point
-Father-''Do you think you can
support her in the style to which she
las been accustomed" Suitor- Mot
in the style to which she has been &C.
customed since we became engaged -
Detroit Tribune.
"A Forced Convert.-"Say, Weary,
wot are you walkin' round in yer bare
foots fer?" I'm tryin' dis yer new
Kneipp cure" "Wot fer, Weary?"
"'Cause some dingblasted snoozer stole
me shoes!"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
mo. sah,'' said the colonel; II never
go hunting, sab. 1t is cruelty" But
you fish, colonel. Isn't that cruelty,
too?" "What is fish ?" asked the colonel,
in scornful tones; "a creature that has
it's existence entiahly in watah, sah.' "
indianapolis Journal.
Indeed, Miss Rox, you are the only
girl ever loved" began the young man
who was trying to propose to the e.
derby heiress; II suppose you have
had that sort of thing said to you for
the past 20 years, but in this instance"
''Sir!"-1ndianapolis Journal.
Same Old Joker.-"Bluely's im-
pecunious brother. writes that he
is in hard lines now and that
he deserves something better be-
cause for every hair in his head he has
done some generous and expensive act. "
''He's the same cultivated rascal. The
fellow is as bald as a door knob"
troit Free Press.
IT wish you would tell me" said the
agent, who had long been on Mr..
Snaggs' trail, "what is your insuperable
objection to insuring your life?' II
don't mind telling you, replied Snaggs;
"the idea of being more valuable after
I am dead than while am alive is dis
tasteful to me" -Pittsburgh Chronicle
TELEGRAPH.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
SELLING TO THE POOR.
Coal by the Peck and Flour by the Single
Pound Pay Big Profits.

Coal by the Peck and Flour by the Single
Pound Pay Big Profits.
The poor are beginning to feel the
cruel pinch of winter. The little stores
in the tenement districts where fuel is
sold now display on the sidewalk in
front of their doors baskets of coal
ranging in size from peck to a bushel.
The prices of these baskets range from
IS to so cents. Beside the baskets are
piled little bundles of pine sticks for
lindling, and they are sold at three
cents each.
These fuel stores are for the most
part managed by thrifty men, who
have learned that great profits are
made by buying coal at four dollars
ton and selling it out in driblets at SIS.
The very poor pay enormously for
everything they buy. Living from day
to day on the few dimes they earn or
may be able to pick up in other ways.
they can never buy except in the small
est quantities, and the smaller the guam
tity the higher the price.
Thousands of people in Chicago not
only buy their fuel from day to day,
old-fashioned tenements where there
is no steam heat many of the occupants
are too poor to afford a fire all day
long. If they can have fire with which
to cook breakfast and another at sup
per time they are content. Thousands
of women and children go to bed every
night cold and shivering because they
have not the money to keep up fire
after the evening meal is cooked.
Merchants who sell to people in the
tenement districts make no bad debts,
Their customers expect no credit, and
always pay cash for what they get.
When they cannot pay cash they do not
buy. The grocery stores and meat
shops that sell to the poor make fat
profits. It is common thing to sell a
pound of flour, a penny's worth of
sugar or nickel's worth of coffee.
When articles are divided into such
small fractions the shopkeeper makes
as much as 200 or 800 per cent. on his
sales.
While individual sales are small, the
aggregate done by these small shops is
enormous. Many of the large coal yards
and grocery and meat shops, where
trade has formerly been confined to
wealthy people, are now reaching out
after the big profits in the tenement
districts by establishing branches
where they can dispose of that portion
OF their stock which has been refused
by their more prosperous PATRONS
70 Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
effect OF MUSIC.
The Nervous System Influenced by Dl
ferent Kinds Of Sounds.

The Nervous System Influenced by DIT.
ferent Kinds Of Sounds.
The old story that Saul when out OF
temper used to summon David to play
the harp, and found the music to be q
sedative, may prove to be more than .
simple historic incident, for both Char
cot and Tarchanow have declared that
musical sounds are a remedial agency
in disease which no physician can af-
ford to ignore, says the New York
Herald.
Mr.. Warthin, Of Michigan, who has
given a great deal Of thought to this SUBJ
ject, asserts that different kinds Of
sounds are more effective than drugs in
the cure Of disease. For instance, he
boldly assures US that the music of
Valkyrie will increase perspiration,
and, therefore, cure certain forms of
ailment caused by checking its flow.
The operative energy is not the music
as such, but the peculiar vibrations
made by it. Tannhauser. on the other
hand, is Migratory soporific and in
duces serene state of mind and body.
| NJ. Coriveaud. of Paris. asserts that
violin playing is at least temporary
remedy for sciatica. He adduces the in
stance of a patient who found almost
instant relief in that way and who sue
cessfully resorted to it whenever threat
ened with an attack.
Perhaps this is an appeal to the i'm
agination, but what matters it if the
patient is cured? Perhaps, again, there
is law hidden somewhere in the pile
Of apparent impossibilities-one which
will some time be discovered for OUT
benefit. We never smile with increduli.
ty at anything in these woodworking
DAYS.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
STATE OF OHlo, C1r1 OF TOLEDO, /.

FRANK J. CHENEY makes oath that he isthe
senior partner OF the firm Of F. J. CHENEY
Il Co., doing business in the City of Toledo,
County ind State aforesaid, and that said
firm will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED Doll
LARS for each and every case OF Catarrh
CATARRH CURE. FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9Th day of December, AID. 1856.
A. w. GLEASON,
lsEALJ Notary Public
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous sur
faces OF the system. Send for testimonials,
free. FL. CHENEY u Co., Toledo, q. .
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Hall,s Family Pills are the best,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Texas.


In the Agricultural line, Texas leads all
other states in the variety of its products.
Cotton. corn and the cereals grow and arc
raised in every section of the state and III
the central and southern portions sugar
cane and sorghum are profitably cultivated.
On the Gulf Coast two and three crops of
vegetables are raised each year. Berries are
shipped six weeks in advance Of the home
crop in the north. Pears, peaches, plums,
oranges, figs, olives and nuts all grow abun-
dainty and can be marketed from two to
three weeks in advance of the California
crops. Large quantities of rice are now
grown.
II the land seeker, the home seeker and
the settler desires to secure farm larger
than the one he occupies, on vastly more
reasonable terms; if he wants more land TO
cultivate, a greater variety OF crops to
harvest, with proportionately increased re-
muneration, at u less outlay for cost OF pro-
duction; if he wants an earlier season with
correspondingly higher prices; If he wants
milder winters, all the year pasturage for
his stock, improved health, increased bodily
comforts and wealth and prosperity, he
Send for pamphlet descriptive of the re-
sources of this great state (mailed tree.
Low rate Homeseekers excursions via the
Missouri, Kansas Il Texas Railway on NOV.
ard and 18th. Dec. 1st and 18th, 1896. b. a:
CHERK1EI,, Northern Passenger Agent, BIG
Marquette Building, Chicago.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
There Were Others.

"Am I the only woman you ever
loved?" she asked.
"Oh; no." he answered promptly:
you are the SIXTH"
1.-THE sixth" she exclaimed, sud
denly relieving his shoulder of the
weight of her head.
"Yes," he said. coldly, there were
Ave before you-my mother. an aunt
and three sisters"
And thereafter she endeavored to
lie more specific when she asked ques-
tions.-Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Cures for Bu1Rlar.

"Ibelieve in DR.. Jones' cathartic pilf,.s
remarked q farmer to Hostetter Nc.
Ginnis.
"What are they good for?"
"Good for burglars"
"Burglarsr'
Eyes, I was seriously attacked by
burglars. I had no bullets, so loaded
the gun with box Of Jones' pills and
killed two of them. I took only one box
of Jones' celebrated pills. and tho bur-
glars are no more."-Texas Sitter.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
The Faults and Follies Of tho Age

Are numerous, but Of the latter none is
more ridiculous than the promiscuous and
random use Of laxative pills and other dras-
tic cathartics. These wrench, convulse and
weaken both the stomach and the bowels:
II Hostetter's Stomach Bitters be used in
stead OF these no-remc.lies, the result is ac-
complished without pain and with great
benefit to the bowels, TIE stomach and the
liver. Use this remedy when constipation
is manifested, and thereby prevent it from
becoming chronic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Kept Her Word.

And yet to think that only one short
summer ago. he Kissed, you vows:!
to me that you would never marry tor
gold."
The maiden smiled with the air OF
one who had lead-pipe cinch. $50
shall not. said she. His wealth is all
N real estate."-Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
rncle Eben,s Philosophy.

"Doan spen' too much time playir
lie banjo onless yoh's gwinter make ii
business oh it," said Uncle Eben. "Dr
man dat pays too much 'tention ter
little accomplishments ain likely ter
tract notice fob big achievements."-
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
A Wasted RuSo.

"Win you kindly remove your hat?" he
said.
certainly not" said she.
y thought that maybe you would" he
said:
1.-THE price tag shows" said he,
'And beautiful hat like that" he said,
Seems awfully cheap at three
But she only said-though her face grew
red
"You cannot play tag with me.''
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
How 1t May Be Done.

She was inclined to be sentimental.
He was nothing if not practical.
"Would that you could tell me how to
mend a broken heart" said she.
II have known of cases where it has
been done by splicing" he replied.
That was the remedy tried in this
case.-Chicago Post
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
After Dinner.

Maud never knew before that Mr..
Smithers lived in one of those horrid
boarding houses.
Mamma-How cid you make the dis:
covery?
Maud-Why, when he was passing
the prunes he shuddered until his teeth
Enthusiastically Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Merely a Suggestion.

Maggie-There' something the mat
ter with the dumb-waiter. ma'am.
can't raise it..
Mr.. Cook-You'd better go and see.
dear; perhaps she's put on it the Il PpIs
dumplings you made to-day.-Yonke:s
Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
A Chance for Work.

Persons who buy 40 acres Of land at from
s. to Is an acre will be given work at l.50
day SO as to provide the necessaries Of life.
Land is located in Mason county. Washin E.
ton, and will produce fruits and all staple
crops. Land also for sale at low prices and
easy terms on WILDLY Island, Washington
One free railway ticket TO each purchaser
Of 40 acres. Address r. E. Workman,
Grand Central Hotel, St. Paul, MINI.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
HOLIDAY EXCURSIONS

To Virginia and North Carolina.
In the months of November and Deem
Der Homeseeker's excursion tickets will be
sold from all points west and northwest to
Virginia and North Carolina at one fare plus
800 for the round trip. For excursion
rates and dates address U. L. TRU1TT, N.
w. P. A., Big Four, c. & o. Route, 234 Clark
St., Chicago, ILL.,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Method in Her Madness.

Dashaway-Last night l experienced
novel sensa ton. Miss TwilIing in
vi,ed me out TO dinner as her guest,
and insisted on ordering and laying
for everything. Iwonder what she lid
it for?
Cleverton - She probably wanted
something 10 eat.-Harlem Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
A HOPELESS Case.

VAN Ishe-Win you marry me?
Penclope-No. l don't know you well
enough, yet.
Van Ishe-Well. will you marry rue 4
year from now?
Penelope-O, I'll know you too well
then.-N. Y. Truth.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Balm for His Wounded Soul.

A certain rector in Suffolk village.
who was disliked in the parish, had a
curate who was very popular, and OF
his leaving was presented with a tes~
timonial. This excited the envy and
wrath of the rector, and meeting with
an old lady enc day, he said: II am sur
prised, Mrs. Bloom, that you should
have subscribed to this testimonial"
"Why, sir" said the old lady. If you'd
Din a-goin' I'd ave subscribed double "
Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
He Was Deceived.

Spencer see that Skin!eigh is Sill
ing Luckton for obtaining lot of valu.
able stock from him under false pre-.
lenses.
Ferguson-How did it happen?
Spencer-Skinleigh sold it to him
under the impression that it was abso-
lutelv worthless.-N. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
ADOlOCizing.

Customer-You don't know how t.
shave. You'd make good butcher!
Barber-Say, do you know you are in
sulting me?
Customer-Am I? Well, I'll take that
Lack. You'd make a bad butcher
Roxbury Gazette.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

AL1cE-'I heard something about you,
to-day" Maud-''Yes; this new lining
they are using in dresses makes a friehtful
noise, doesn't itl"--Yonkers Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
A Hint for Professionals.

Photograpner-That is certainly a
good picture Tor an amateur; very good.
How did you manage to get such a
pleasant expression on the genfIeman's
face?
Amateur told him | wasn't going
to charge anything.-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

I BELIEVE Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my boys life last summcr.--MRs.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

"Now you are going again on long
Journey, Carl, and will forget me en-
tirely, and won't love me any more!"
"Why, my dear, the farther away l
i'm from you, the more love you'll
Humoristische Batter.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

''UNCLE SIMON, what is the luxury of
woc!" Luxury Of woe2 Why, it is the
diamonds widow buys when her husband
Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Which Was False

Which Was False?
Jane, Jane, you do not look the same.
OF tresses you have raised another crop
Then she tossed her raven hair,
Saving: This Is mine. I swear.
For my golden hair was purchased at the
shop"
Town Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

eve had q very interesting event-or
rather q pair Of 'em-at our house this
morning." Caesar! Not twins2" mo;
our boy put on his first trousers. ''-Rose-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Know the Importance.

The Wife-be careful, John, and
don't let the baby drop on the hard
floor.
The Husband-l will, my dear.
wouldn't wake him up for the world
Town Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

AN Aberdonian, who, making morning
call, was asked If he ''wud taxi a DRAM"
soberly declined. "'Twas too airlX. the
day." he said; "besides, I've lad gill al
ready.'-Town and Country Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

"Have you good cook" "She's very
good; goes to church four times u week.
She can't cook, h."-Tid-B
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
For an Accommodation

what a noble fellow Giles is! /
asked him why he didn't wear an over
coat and he said he had given it to d
relation"
Eyes. To his uncle" --Detroit Free
Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

IT is said that red noses run in families
the same as quick temper, or consumption.
-Atchison Globe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
On Their Trail.

"That fellow in always running &C.
tors down."
"A dramatic critic?"
mo, On engineer on . freight train"
Town Topics. -,-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

JUST try 100 box Of Cascarets, the finest
liver and bowel regulator ever made.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

CAscARErs stimulate liver, kidneys and
bowels. Never sickcn, weaken or grippe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

"Fo1Ks dat is allus lookin' fob trouble"
said Uncle Eben, shah jes' one ting ter
brag about. Dey doan' hahdly ebber git
disapp 'ipted. ,,-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

WHEN bilious or costive, cat Cascaret,
candy cathartic, cure guaranteed, 1Oc, 25:.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
1T Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Lie
Away.

ALL busy people finally get so that they
hate those who are lazy.-Atchison Globe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
In . City Restaurant.

Waiter-How will you have your
steak, Fir?
Patron-l don't care how you coJll
it, but I'd like IL this week.-Towu
TopicA .:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
Spirit Of the Times.

A-These are times that try financial
FOULS. I'm suffering loss after loss.
BLOW much did you lose this week
A-Eighty thousand Marks. and the
worst of 1t is that 100 of them were nv
own.-Fliegcnde Blaetter.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12
CINCINNATI FLYER.
Monon Route + Z. H. 4 D.

Monon Route + Z. H. T. D.
The Monon has put on fast flyer for In
dianapolis and Cincinnati in connection
with the G.. II. Il D. The train leaves Chi
cago, Dearborn Station, at II 80 A. NJ,
reaches Indianapolis at 4 81 and Cincinnati
at 7:45 P. NJ, thus making the run, Chicago
to Indianapolis, in four hours ana forty
seven minutes, and Cincinnati in seven
hours and fifty-five minutes. This is the
fastest time made between Chicago and In
dianapolis and Cincinnati by any line. The
"Cincinnati Flyer" is equipped with elegant
day coaches, the Monon celebrated high
backed seats, parlor Car and dining car.
City Ticket Office, 232 Clark St.. Chicago, Ill.
He WAS FORGIVEN She-"You forget
yourself, SIR" He-"How could think Of
myself in your presence!"-Yankee Blade.
1T Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life
Away.
II Won want to quit tobacco using easily
and forever, be made well, strong, magnetic,
rull of new life aud vigor, take To-Bac,
tho wonder-worker that makes weak men
strong. Many gain ten pounds in ten days.
Over 4OO, 900 cured. Buy No-To-Bac from
your own druggist, who will guarantee a
cure. Booklet and sample mailed free: Az.
Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago New York.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-11-12

Celebrating in 1897 its seventy first birthday
THE COMPANION offers its readers many excep
tiona lly brilliant features. The two hemisphere
have been explored in search of attractive matter
Daily public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1892-191?, 1896-09-19

and their income is kept down by law,
can the large body of men employed in
the service hope for an increase OF wages
AS matter of fact, would not a cut in
wages be about the only way in which
the railroads could meet the increased
cost of operation?
Seventh-The street railway systems Of
this city are operated under municipal
ordinances, which fix their income at FIVE
cents per passenger carried. If Mr..
Bryan is right in saying free coinage will
increase prices Of all commodities used
by street railways, can you advise the
Conductors, Motormen and other street
railway employees of this city to vote for
free coinage, with the hope of improving
their condition?
Eighth-As understand it, your party
has for years made war on a Protective
Tariff because it increased the cost of the
necessaries Of life. If Mr.. Bryan is right,
will not free coinage in this respect be
just as bad? Will it not also create gi.
gantIc trust and make a market by law
for the property of the silver mine owner
at double its value2
Ninth-Is 1t true that on the Santa Fe
Railroad, operated partly in the United
states and partly in Mexico. that the Ia.
borer on the American side receives an
American silver dollar, while just across
the imaginary line on the Mexican side
the paymAster with the American silver
dollar buys two Mexican silver dollars
with which he pays for two days work.
Tenth-Why is it that 37lt grains of
silver with the stamp OF gOld.standard
America on it will buy 754 grains OF sill
yer with the stamp OF silver.standard
Mexico on it?
Eleventh-If you say it Is because the
silver dollar 10 America 10 maintained at
par with gold by the Government, when
the credit of the Government lie removed
by free coinage aud silver stands on its
merits. will not the American silver dols
lar sink to the value OF the Mexican dol
lar. and will not the American working.
man who receives 1t be put upon the low
level OF the Mexican laborerf
Twelfth--Mr. Bryan says that gold has
appreciated. That under the gold stand
Daily public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1892-191?, 1896-09-19
A Mobile Streetcar Conductor
PrOpOundS Questions.
ORATORS CAN'T ANSWE R.
A Free-Silver Paper Thinks Their
Cause Got a Severe Blow.
FACTS FOR WORKINGMEN

There was Bryan and Sewall ratinca.
ton meeting Saturday night at Mobile,
Ala. To the speakers selected for that
meeting Mr.. W. L. Undertake, a Mobile
Streetcar Conductor, addressed in ad-
vance certain inquiries to which he
wished an answer for the information of
himself and his fellow.workmen The
questions were asked in good faith. That
they were not satisfactorily answered is
shown by the comments of The Mobile
Register, paper which is supporting
Bryan. The questions propounded were
as follows:
To Aesrs. j. W. TomRason, Jesse r.
StaliHgs. Tennsnt LOmdr and e. L Rus
seiI-G entlemsn: Noticing the advertise
ment of the fact that you will address
the great Bryan and sewall ratification
meeting on Saturday night, hope 1t may
not be treated as presumption Tor one
who learns his daily bread by his daily
tot" and who is, therefore, vitality inter
estsd In the paramount issue of this cam
paign to approach you who are leaders Of
your party for information. II is to me
a matter Of no concern whether the posi-
ton OF ex Governor Jones and other Ala.
bama Gold Democrats is consistent or
Inconsistent. do not care whether
Bryan is bolter or not. The recon.
slruction of Alabama by the Republican
party twenty-five years ago belongs to
the dead past, The issue Of the cam