Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-04-30

The soprano threw the basso
In the choir a loving glance:
She was such pretty lass-o,
And they only met by chants.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Florence-"What Is the first thing
you have to learn In golf" Marion-
what to wear."vPuck.
She-"Did you see the Latin quarter
while in Parish He-"No; but got
several lead francs passed on me-
Truth.
Ignorance, bliss; knowledge, blister.
-She-"When you married me you
said you were well off," He-"I was;
but did not know it!"-vanity.
None Too Cordial-The Hostess-'T
suppose there Is no use Of asking You
to stay to dinner?" The Caller-"Not
in that way."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Poetry Fed-She (sentimentally)-
what poetry there is In fire." He (sad-
ly)-"Yes; q great deal OF my pretty
poetry has gone there."-Harpers Ba-
Ear.
Just the Same Thing.-"Say, loan me
SO for about weekT Cant; have
MT got but five." '.That7l do-led mo
the five for two weeksw-Chicago Rec
ord.
The difference between a somnambu-
list and a messenger boy is trififng:
One walks In his sleep, and the other
sleeps in his NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Press.
AS the hurricane swept the deck and
upset few yachtsmen 1t breezily re-
marked: 81 guess / can turn an oc-
casional summer-'salt' myself. Rich
mond Gazette.
Wizway-"What is meant by pass
ing regardY Juzby-'The regard in
which you're held by people who bow
to you but don't stop to speak.
bury Gazette.
She-"We've been married four
months, dear, and haven't given you
a chance to try my cooking yet" He
"Why, love, you're not getting tired Of
me already, are you"-Yonkers States
man.
Really Unjust-"I have done moth
ing but blush all day." complained the
rose, "and still that idiot Of poet goes
on talking Of the modest violet, as II
there were not thers."-Cincinnat En-
quirer.
Mulman-'T often hear people speak
about brain work being so awfully
hard; it doesn't appear to me So" Cut
ter-"Of course not; to men Of your
caliber brayin' work is easy."-Boston
Courier.
Mama-"Russell, stop teasing your
brother; I'm tired Of hearing him cry"
Russell-"It won't make any difference
If 1 do stop, COS if l don't tease him
he'll tease me and make me cry."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
"How large were the diamonds?
asked the press agent, pausing In the
writing Of the account for publication.
"About as large as chestnuts," con-
fessed the actress, unwittingly.-Min-
neapolis Times.
Game warden-Look here. Don't
you know that you cant shoot deer
just now? Proud amateur sportsman
Can't pointing to fine dead buck).
Look at that and see whether l can't
Boston Courier.
Winterbloom-Don't you think 5000
Is rather high for tailor-made gown?
Won Blumer tells me his wife paid
only $3.50. Mrs. Winterbloom-True,
my dear, but she got hers before I
got mine.-Harlem Life.
Teacher-Can any little boy tell me
which is the longest day in the year?
Billy-Some fellows say the day be-
fore Christmas Is, and some say the
day before the Fourth of July.-Har-
per's Round Table.
81 don't believe you know who.
am" said Mrs. Gayleigh to Tommy.
"No, ma'am," said Tommy, 81 don't
know who you are, but l know who
you was. heard mamma telling Aunt
Susan."-Harper's Bazaar.
ooh, Edith! there's that lovely es-
cort you had last summer, the Count
de Lusk, selling ribbons at the further
counterv' $50 it is. Don't let us rec
ognize him, dear. He will prefer to re-
main incognito." Jervis Gazette.
"Sing" said the speciality artist to
the manager, 81 can sing to beat the
band" However, on his appearance
that afternoon it was noticeable that
the orchestra, as usual, had the better
of the contest.--Indianapoli Journal.
Mrs. Al am surprised that; your
husband earns so little IL he works as
hard as you say. What does he do?
Mrs. B.-The last thing he did was
to calculate how many times a clock
licked In the course Of 1000 years.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
"What is all that row in the dining
roomT" asked the dime museum man.
ager, with some irritation. "It do be
the glass eater, sor," said the Zulu
chieftain. "He says tn cook give him
cracked toombler, an he cut his toong
on it."-New York Press.
my DEAR" he said to his lady love,
"T've been busy all day-not manual
labor, you know, but brain work,
which Is the hardest kind" Eyes, in
deed; 1 know 1t must be for you," and
there was tender look of sympathy
In her eyes which aroused him.-Phila-
delphia American.