Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-05-16

which the reverend gentleman. who was
an old friend OF the family and a bit Of a
wag' said. But. my dear. you have not
What Is THAR" said the bride.
a kiss. Won't you pay 1t before you
O course ! WILL" she answered. blush
ing and laughing. And She did.
A severe old Made lady, standing by,
was terribly shocked at such levity and
the jolly divine. but everyone else. the
bridegroom Included. smiled at the Incl
dent. As the old maid, a littIe later. was
'teosl 70 osihs awasir"rn nsaoor she put
We'll, Mr.; Clergyman, how about that
Not now" answered he, Il will give II
you another time. So very public here"
She disappeared. The guests roared and
the parson scored.
s.
As the G. & q. train was pulling out OF
Covington for Cincinnati. an Irish laborer.
with his regulation tin dinne can and clay
pipe. stepped into one OF the passenger
cars, and, putting his pail on the floor, en-
sconCed himself in "a comfortable seat,
with his pipe in one corner Of his mouth.
A moment later the brakeman came In
and. looking around. espied the lrishman.
Leaning over. he tapped the man on the
~ you want to smoke go forward to the
smoking car"
h Irishman looked az him coolly for a
moment. and replied: I'm not schmokin',
You've got your pipe in your mouth.
Faith. yes" replied the son OF Erin.
"un I've got me tut in me boot, but I'm
not waikiki"
*ss
A good story Is told of an English family
living in Norfolk county. who possessed
the euphonious name of Bug" a. tina
term in England Is never mentioned In
polite society and signifies. a minute In
sect noted for It's power OF jumping, the
family OF hat name did not appreciate It's
uniqueness. Upon coming into possession
of some none they at once petitioned TO
have II changed TO Howard" The re-
quest was granted; but, alas for them, the
bugs OF that portion OF the country were
henceforth known by the more refined title
OF the Norfolk Towards"
A doctor. who had a great dislike to to-
bacco in any form, managed, I'm his hurry
at the railway station, to get into a smok-
ing compartment. A young man sat oppo-
site putting away at a huge cigar. After
man at last addressed him:
Young man. as a medical man let me
warn you against smoking. Experience
has proved 20 mo that OF every ten men
suffering from ep!thelium and paralysis OF
the tongue, nine OF these rave been caused
by tobacco"
has proved TO me that Of every ten men
suffering from black eyes. nine Of them
have been caused by people neglecting 10
mind their wi business"
The Westminster Budget tells a charac-
~teristic story of the late Rev. Peter Mac
kenzie, of London. Many years ago, after
delivering a lecture In a village near sum
derland, he was returning 10 his hosts
house along a lonely road. when he was
accosted by a robber. The latter was a
believer IN the right of might and re-
quested MIR. Mackenzie to turn out all the
cash he had got. We'll my dear man.
replied Mr.. Mackenzie, you know l am
you want. IN give YOU half a CROWN The
robber would not accept this very charit-
ablo offer. Mr.. Mackenzie ''doffed" his
coat and gave him what the man Is now
pleased to call "a dashed good hiding"
That thrashing did the man a great SER
vice, for he atterward left the paths OF
vice and became one OF Mr.. M~ackenzie's
many converts.