The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1896-11-11
WHICH DID SHE MEAN
HOW MEMBERS OF A RURAL PARTY
GOT TO MoRALIZINo.

and other Members OF His Family How
Easy 1t Is to Rob the Unsophisticated.
The Result Wasn't just as He Calculated.
II was truly rural party that waited
in narrowing suspense for the train
which was to leave in two or three
hours. They had been to fair,
and in their periods of comparative re-
pose passed the time reeounting their
experiences and observations.
II can't hep bein anxious" the old
gentleman said alphabetically to gate
tender. ''Ye see, there amt nobody to
home, an somebody up in our country
is developin Bile appetite fur Leg
horn chickens, which is my speciality.
don't like the idee Of stayin here over
night, dodgin bunko steerers, when we
orter be chasin chickin thieves.
Haven't you got hired man on the
placer
1--WE brought i'm along. He was
willin to pay his own way, an ez he'd
of quit eff l he'd told i'm he'd gotter
stay, thort it 'ud save trouble in the
end.
Eyes stree. chimed in the hired
man, who came up just at that point in
the conversation, 81 had to move woth
the percession. An wouldn't Of missed
seein what did fur nothin. guess I
got through weth more sights than any
body else in the hull outfit.
II reckon ye didn't come across any
more that was new an startlin than
some of the rest Of us, replied tho old
gentleman in blase tone of liberation.
81 know of one thing tibet We didn' see,
fur mother says she had her eye on ye
all the time. Hev ye got any money!
1.-TWO dollar an sixty cents" WINS
the self satisfied response.
''Then ye didn't see whut I'm talkin
about. Ye run over to thet store an
buy 8 cents wuth of English walnuts
an I'll show it to ye. I'll be over whur
mother an Zeb is, cause it'll interest
them too"
When the hired man came back from
his errand, the old gentleman was saying
to his wife: II was out fur experience,
an ye can't git experience without its
costin leetle somethin. l learnt new
game, an want Zeb an tho hired man
ter know about it, SOS ter put EN- on
their guard again the wiokedness of this
here world. ALI we need is some walnut
shells an "a paper wad. "
The members of his household fol-
lowed him to the window ledge, aud.
after few preliminary passes TO loosen
up his muscles for feats of legerdemair,
he paused to remark:
"Now, yell understan, of course,
thet this here aim no lesson in gam
bin. / jes' wanter show ye how it's
done. When ye go ter town, yell
know jes' ez much about it ez them
sharpers does an BIO on yer guard. It's a
game whur the man ez does the guessin
amt got 10 show whutsomeyer. "
He manipulated the shells and the
paper wad in imitation of the man hi
had seen at the fair. and stepping bach
said:
Course, l don't want ye ter bel
nothin, 'ca.se that 'ud DO jes' like rob
bin yer But it won't do no harm ful
We ter make guess, SOS ter show ye
how tho dag -on-ed swindle operates. T"
"I'll bet We my new knife agin that
buckhorn handled ono Of yer'n thet
kin pick out tho shell ez hez tho paper
wad under it, remarked the hired man.
81 wouldn't let ye do it. Don't ye
onderstan' tibet this is n Gkin game I'm
a-showin yep
"I don't keer nothin bout that. I've
got that ther paper wad located an ye
da'sn't bet thet amt
AZ da'sn't, da'sn't II don't like ter
take no advantage Of ye, but ye're q
man growed an responsible fur yer own
acks. Put up yer knife. :"
The stakes were laid ON tho window
ledge, and tho hired man promptly Sc
lected tho right shell.
"By hockey" exclaimed the old gen
tleman, "ye've guessed It'll 1t must "a
been by miracle. "
He tried it again. and this timo moi
only the hired man, but Zeb and the old
lady, risked all their available small
change. Again tho amateur thimble
rigger juggled the shells, and with the
same result.
Better own up an quit. father. y
suggested Zeb.
"I won't do nothin of the kind, " was
the reply.
In tho course Of time he issued
promissory notes for saddle blanket, Q
| pair of boots, six pearl collar buttons, Q
calico dress, a pair Of bearskin gloves
seven plugs Of tobacco and $3.50. But
he was not discouraged. He was pre-
| pairing for anGAher shuttle of the walnut
shells, when his wife exclaimed:
"Elihu. amt 1T purity near train
timer
There was simultaneous rush fol
the gate. Their train had been gone
nearly 10 minutes.
"Waal, said the old gentleman, "it'f
disapp'intin ter hev ter set here tell the
mex one goes, but we've had the benefit
Of the exposy, anyhow. Ye kin allus
dror q moral from most anything that
happens. 1t all goes ter show tibet there
amt any way Of bein rely safe in
games Of chance, no matter which side
ye're on. ;"
eyes" said Zeb, sit all come ter pass
long of hevin ter kill time in this here
place"
'Whur's the hired mani"
HE told me tibet. ez it would be q good
while tell the train went, be reckoned
he'd take some Of his winnin's an pain
tho town little bit. :"
The old lady passed around some rec
apples and remarked;
"To my way Of thinkin, there's an
other eternal truth tibet this afternoon
hez demonstrated.
"What is it, Mirandy?'
"a fool an his money are soor
parted.
And her husband never took the trou
bio to inquire whether she meant hin
OF the hired man. Washington Star.
The superior inventive genius OF
Americans is clearly shown in the re-
port Of the commissioner Of patents, who
says that 80 foreign countries, inciud-
ing Great Britain, Germany. Russia
and France, have only issued from ear
- ~ nac ~ Inst AR1 NH