The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-03-10

The late Roman Catholic bishop of that
diocese had piano of which he wished
to dispose and which friend, a prot
estant minister, desired to purchase
There was much dickering over the in
strument before the minister finally
secured it at price which the bishop
declared was i.idiculously low. The
only vehicle in the settlement which
would accommodat thepiano when the
time came for it's delivery, was the
hearse, and in this it was drawn to the
minister's door, Off to the bishops the
minister went in great anger. why
on earth" he said, "did you send my
piano home in the hearse?" The Dish
ops eyes. twinlfled as he remembered
the bargaining and he answered: "Oh-
because il was such a dead bargain"
DIR. Erskine, an eminent Scottish di-
vine, was remarkable for his gentle
temper. He returned so often from the
pulpit minus his pocket handkerchief
that Mrs. Erskine suspected that it had
been stolen, 50 to detect tie culprit
she sewed a corner of the handkerchief
to one OF the pockets of the coattail.
Halfway up the stairs to the pulpit
the doctor felt q tug at his coat. He
turned around to an old woman and
said, with gentleness: mo the day.
honest woman; no. the day. Mrs.
Erskine has sewcd it in"
The bishop of Lichfield was out rid
ing one Sunday, when his horses, which
had become tired from the great dis
tance between churches, gave out, and
he concluded to walk to a railway sta
ton. On the way he met crowd OF
men squatsing together ON the ground,
and he stopped to say a few words to
them. "Well, NY good men," he said.
what are you doing?" 1--WE bin alloy
in" replied one of the men. you are
lying?" said the bishop. "I do not IN
derstand you Eve bin a-loyin','
again said the man. But what do you
mean? p" ''Why, yer see, one on us has
fun kettle, and we bin tryin' who
can tell the biggest 10y to have it,"
Trying to tell the biggest lie!" ex.
claimed the bishop. What a shocking
thingl" And then the bishop told the
men that be had always been taught
that one of the greatest sins was to tell
lie. The men listened patiently, bus
presently one of them, who had been
looking intently at the bishop, suddenly
exclaimed, on hearing him say that he
had never In his life todd lie. ''Gie tn
governor the kettle, gle TIL governor
the kettle" The bishop resumed his
walk.
A clergyman of the church of Scot
land took much interest in the progress
of a Highland student, and aided him as
much as he could in his studies prepare
tory TO getting a license from the
Presbytery. In one thing, however, he
was deficient Both minister and
student were much exercised as to how
10 overcome the difficulty. Neither
knew anything of Hebrew, ard how
the young man was to meet the rev.
Ierend court without it sorely puzzled
them both. At last the clergyman saw
his way clear, as if by inspiration
Take your Gaelic Bible" he snid, land
when you are asked to read Hebrew
go on reading from it." The day came.
the trial proceeded and everything
passed off satisfactorily. The young
man was requested TO read Hebrew,
and with fear and trembling he drew
forth his Gaelic Bible and proceeded to
read and translate. After he had gone
on thus for a short time that will do"
said the moderator. What do you say,
brethren" Every reverend brother
complimented the young maj ON his
familiarity with Hebrew, and it is said
the young man is now preaching and in
charge of church, Chicago News.