The herald., 1896-03-09

Let's get out of dis an get sumthin' to
eat" remarked the deputy zanjero to his
friend and co.laborer, Col. freeman 6.
Teed, during the height of the festivities
at the Young Mems Republican League
banquet on Wednesday night. ''Dis ting
is all o. X. in its way, but high falutin rot
bout Mckinley an protection don't feed
de face right, an corn beef an cabbage III
make hungry Six warder vote de ticket
straight quicker dan all de gush bout de
ole flag an Ebnger's red Dago wine put
togedder. Desc kids whom welins jes' left
knows heap on some tings. but politics
amt in dere line any more dan it is in de
tink tank of Fred Wood nor Judge Shaw,
nor Bulla, nor de rest of do respectables
as wears silk garters round DER calves
cause de Prince of Wales won't
low his socks to bag twixt de ankles. Dat
little show up de street reminds me good
deal of my fren' de colonel. We shouts
fer him an thinks as he's de greatest man
on de cart. till it comes to de day of de
primaries. Den de colonel is landed high
in de bleachers. an when de convention
comes, he is kicked off'n dat perch, cause
he don't have the price OF admission any
where in his clothes.
Say, Mckinley, who is my fren an de
colonel's side partner, was in it fer leetle
bit tonight, but eff he had been proposed
fer membership while de white wine was
atalkin', he'd got more black balls dan
Perry Howard has diamonds. Any geyser
atryin' to make it unanimous in dat meet
in would have been sit down on so hard
he'd tunk Billy Dunn had afroze him cold
wild one of dem Goldfish ball stares Dunn
cultivates when RAIDER bucks backwards
aplayin' policy fer de ADMINISTRATION.
"Wuz | atellin' yuze bout de colonel's
new game? He is after wantin' to be sec
retary of state which aire de gent as writes
de bill of fare when de president wants
some of dem furreigners to brush de Sar-
atoga chips often his plate. Dat gag bout
de vice-president, which has awaked my
frien' Cap'in Osborne to believin' as he
amt no more in it, WIZ q April fool joke
afaked up by Herv. Lindley to bury de
colonel ell over mud. But it don't go.
See: De people aire agoin to take han
in dis ting dis SESSION, an de graveyard
politicians like de mayor an Walter Par
ker III have to go aprospectin' fer natural
gas down in Sonoratown.'
"Dis sllicidin' game down by de new
boulevard gives to me an Munsou new
idea. Why not advertise killn' fran
chise fer Westlake park. Dere's good
money in the scheme fer John Cross. an
leetle Leon Moss from de Fourt' ward. as
is always abidden wild whiskers on it. De
ADMINISTRATION is agettin' bad rep, wild all
de killins down to Pasadena an Pomona
las week. Like Bauer's bonanza down in
de Ate ward. dis ting mus be controlled in
,e place. Sell a privilege for de trick out
to estlake, an den when we uns good
people 'run' de hall here, has arun our
time good an strong, we KIN go like true
gents. an end de spiel proper. adrinkin'
ourselves to deaf in cold water
s'Ialkip' bout btIrniTl' issue, ue parsons
'socia;ion hain't give to de new commit
tee on morals nothin' real swell to do yet,
dough de field aire as ripe fer missionary
work like it was always an forevermore.
old stand, an he's adoin more business
dan ever. My frien', de big chief. (ain't
his size bute) is asawin' wood desc days.
doin' jes what Guy Barham, Bob Wirsch
ing an ''Skimpy.' Long is atellin' him.
4 der is akeepin' outer de mess, an Billy
c 'ok. has like de mayor, Walter Parker
To fall back on. When dat tire-cracker is
alet so, it'll be me as III be celebratin' de
Forut of July down de long wharf near
Santa Monica canyon"
.'How does youse like my new scheme to
farm out de privilege fer grantin' saloon
licenses to Charley Last, Bob Kern an de
rest of us good people as has some sense?
men like Guy Barham an de rest of Nose
Gunst's 'visory board down here, don't
know 'nough to holler murder when de're
abein' shot at. De idee to make all bar
keepers show membership card in the
Y. M. C. A. is purity good, and Parson
knighten I'll soon have to go outen busi-
ness. Rum an gum amt in de good book,
but John II. Mitchell is purity good when
it comes to singin' some hymns proper"
"Dese nine lambs as do business on de
square il dis hall aire lulus when dey
don't care 10 hurt de feelins of dere frien's.
woolly yam come in de odder day
kickin' cause Fred Wood don't run 'nough
cars out by Daily street. 1t went to de
board of public works or sumethin', which
are Pessell, Munson and Kingery. Dem
tree graces recommends dat Fred be made
to live longside his franchise. How's dat
for high? De recommendation was adopted
an Fred's feelins wasn't hurt, an all par
ties to de contract 'cept de people as lives
on de east side, was happy ever later:
When it comes to de real fooling' me an
Fred an de Worms is in it all de year
round"
"Tom Savage fanked in 'twixt Sam
Kingery and George Stockwell to see dat
de social evil an de crematory an de oil
refineries an de odder packin' institutions
don't stray dis side of de S. Z. railroad
tracks, aire q sandwich wort page wild
cuts in de Hoodoo. which aire de only real
Republican paper dis side de San Fernando
tunnel. Col Teed never gets onto de
pump handle wrong, even when he proves
out loud dat John M. Glass are so white as
to make half de town color blind to see it
dat way, an when Teed placed Savage be-
tween soda an hook, which aire Stockwell
and kingery, de colonel from de Fifth
ward was strictly next. De parsons III now
get good meat in their'n, which aire tender