Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1896-09-28
FACTS AND FANCIES.

.0n1-
mere, II you are ever seized with A4 tSa
deslre 70 Oh, run off with the cash-let me-
know; I'll go with YOU Aie
a Cruel Speech.-"If you're going n
ADOPT boomers, Maria. people can't tell
us apart oh, John! How can Won so,
say sucn horrible thingsv'- Life. 80
NO statesman can be called superannp-
, aseu as ions as ne is able to make a
throne assassin on
Al Biia,ckpool-"How the wind bowls
to ~ nj sad the melancholy boarder.
SHOULDN'T wonder if it had the tooth
ac he suggested the CHEEKY idiot. '0'A
''Toothache?''
Yes. Have you never heard If +bo
teeth of the gale?'' ~ 'ne
Between little boy and his sister
warm dispute arose as to the ownarSh;n
of an India rubber ball. --ei snip
After the dispute had proceeded with
much neat for some time, they agreed IN
reIer the matter to another LITTLE brother
VINO, after examining the ball with the
dellheratlon and seriousness the rra vity
OF the case merited, delivered his iudg-
ment as follows: ''u7
Well it looks very like miner
Help. Help" cried the man who was
belng robbed. Calm yourself" said the
hlShWayman. Il don't need any asset
ance -Tid-Bits.
Every man feels sometimes the mood
OF good-natured woman to grumble at
"Biff Hall, the Mirrors Chicago COS
SIP, launches this conundrum: ..What
IS the difference between free silver and
free lunch:''
Free silver is 16 to 1 and free lunch is
IL to ?.
An examination of this years STYLES in
oh +Lo4
wearing puffed tyres
A policeman of Topeka has Just been
hred because he could not resist tempta
tatlon. Temptation with froth on If is
indeed a terrible thing.-Wichita Eagle.
The man who never lost an umbrella
never owned one.
Deaf Mute Lover speaking through
hnger Please sing for me, dear
est"
Deaf Mute Loved One ditto, regre-
fully)-"1 can't, dear: [ have a sore
thumb. Judge.
do you really think Fitz Corbins is
great pugiIist?" asked the man who
takes casual interest in the prize ring.
We'll, said the critic, as he thought
fully thrust out his lower jaw, ''he
knows something about it. But his pune
tuation is bad. Washington Star
A curious result of pulling the leg is
that no matter how tall the victim was
before. he's generally a little short after
it.-Ph ;ladelphia Times.
EVER THUS.
pretty girl,
crowded car,
please take my seat"
And there you are.
A crowded car
woman plain,
She stands. and there
You are again.
The essential difference between the
man and the woman said the cheerful
idiot, lis one of wear and tear" ''Eh?"
said the new boarder. Eyes. Man
spends his money foolishly on a tear
and woman OH wear" indianapolis
Journal.
A ConsoIing Feature isn't it sad
that the flowers fade?' said the girl
with the poetic temperament. ''It is
sad" replied the young man, who had
to say something to the girl with the
poetical temperament; ''but it's good
thing for the florists. Puck
Wiggles-"W did you make him
take his words back, as you said you
were going to do?
Waggles-'Yes, he took them back, but
he used them over again more emphatl-
cally than he did before. "-Somerville
Journal.
A person who tells you the faults of
others intends to tell others of your
faults. BE careful how you listen.-New
York Ledger.
Jackey Isaacs-'Vy don't you ged your
life insured, fadder?" Mr.. Isaacs-'S'
hellun me chracious. id would worry me t.
deth. t tink 1 vas livin'H'-Puck.
"A baby was sold in New Jersey the
other day for go cents
well, | suppose the mosquitoes had
been gnawing on it all summer. '-Chlca-
so Record.
Tommv-"Paw. what is human ma
ture?'' Mr.. Figg-''Human nature, my
son. is the excuse generally offered by
man who has been acting like hog. =
indianapolis Journal