The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1896-11-07

Men spend their time and skill,
But nothing made will ever go
AS quick as money will.
New York Herald.
Pat-Shure The air itself is hot enough, |
let alone stirrin' it up wild thin dunn !
med oilectric fans.-Life. !
Mary-Oh, just live in Reggy's |
heart. Alice-How do you like living In
& fat?-Washington Times.
Bubbles-My wife and l met by acct
dent. Thrown together by chance. as |
it were. Wheelwoman (eagerly}-Did
you break the bicycles?-Buffalo Times.
why, Mr.. Portly, you are all done
up. What's the matter? Bicycle"
but you don't ride a wheel" mo,
but the other fellow does."-Fliegerde
, Blaetter.
Il knew a fellow that could tame a
tiger with 4 glance of his eye" What
became Of him." Hes dead. lie
tried it on a bicycle scorcher."-Chicago
Record.
She-Won't you protect me, sir? This
shameless fellow has been following
me for the past fifteen minutes. He
0, yes, if you prefer me.-Humoristiche
Blaetter.
Lucy-Clara's honeymoon was com
pletely spoiled. Alice-How? Lucy
The papers containing the account OF
the wedding did not reach her.-Brook-
Ign Life.
dreadful how the bicycle is running
oats out Of the market, isn't it? YES,
it is; but the crop Of wild oats seems
to be coming along about as usual
Chicago News.
Teacher-By "transparent' we mean
something through which we can see.
Who can give IN Illustration of a trans
parent object? Pupil-A ladder.-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
E long as dey's got plenty err cam
paiSn buttons" said Uncle Eben. some
men doan seem ter care whedder dey
hab any s'pender buttons er not
Washington Star.
Mamma, the rector asst me why YOU
, didn't come to church?'' What did YOU
tell him, Bobby" II said you was
| a-keeping all YOU good clothes clean
. ter go to tn seashore."-Chicago Rec
ord.
"The president of our health club has
I been taken away to a sanitarium.'
what allied her?' "The doctors think
she broke down her constitution keep
ing flies out OF her house."-Chicag &c
, Record.
Il thought Wibble was such a good
, rider, and here he goes and smashes
his wheel against a brewery wagon
=, THAT wasn't awkwardness. 1t was q
case of Observation-Disclosures
Journal.
Sportsman want something con
n venient to carry bait in. Clerk-Yes
sir. Here's a very handsome article
silver al holds q pint. Or would 20,
Il prefer one in a wicker case?-Buffalt
: Express.
e Il think it's a shame, Cyrus. tina
It we've let Esmeralda grow up withou
It trying to give her some kind Of musica
$ training. h can't sing at ALL THAT
l. true, Emily-but she knows it.'-Chi
/. cage Tribune.
c That Charley Spindles is a horri'
e fellow, isn't hep Eyes, hut he one
saved me from a mad bull How wa
l. that:" 81 saw Charlie coming, an,
d went through another field.'-Cleve
% land Plain Dealer.
e. Were you ever bothered by hors
le thieves out here?' inquired the tours
N "Well, yes" said the native Of Okla
rs homa, there used to be a good man
le hanging around, but l haven't seen on
a for a ~year."-Truth.
to do you call that fresh pork sa.
re the chronically grumpy man. WHY
It's an insult to every hog in the land.
re II beg your pardon" said the waite
politely, Il did not mean to insult YOU.
it. -Pittsburg Chroniclc-TeleGraph.
Ia Mrs. Weary (rcading)-The body {
is a book agent was found IN Blank stree
- this morning. He had evidently bee
murdered. Mr.. Weary (meditativel!
-Um-er-really. now, I think that wa
going most too far.-New York WecI
on ly.
III Mrs. Walker-I don't see why the dc
W tors all recommend bicycle riding.
Is it makes people healthier, it is q loss
NC the doctors. Mr.. Walkcr-I know; bl
" they figure that one sound, health
nc rider will disable at least five pedest.
NC ans per week.-Puck.
TT
I'D Impecunious editor-I say, Porticu
a. lend me ten dollars, will you? Porto,
n Sorry, old man. l haven't got
he Here's a twenty-five-dollar some
ey though. If you'll take it to the CASH,
is and have it changed, I'll be happy
III accommodate you.-Bazar.
~ THAT, sir" said the ~phrenolog;s
re placing the tips of his long. bony ii
ne gers on a hump ON higgins head, -
on your bump Of locomotion." Right yt
IN are" replied Bliggins: Il got that Ia
&c: n;oht while trying IN Ion n IN vida
ed h,orohv Buffalo Evrross