Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-05-01

1t Was the Result OF an Abundant Supply
of Food and Great Scarcity of
Drink-More Happiness In
Panhandler's Row.
PanhanGiers' row has a new method
of outwitting p1actical philanthropy,
which is not the variety for which the
panhandlers sigh. 1t is the invention
of Pegdot, whose wooden leg is one of
the stand"bys Of that part OF Park row
which used to be called Chatham street,
and it's mother is necessity. For some
weeks and luck and Pegdot had
been strangers. and, though he
had been more than well sup
piled with food, drink had been very
scarce, peculiar combination of cir
cumstances wherefrom he evolved his
great scheme. About the period of the
merry Yulc-tide pegdot's wooden mem
Der slumped its irregular way into the
Imperial restaurant and cafe, where the
royalty OF the row is fed at prices rang
ing from ten cents for half stew up to
ing the visitors reputation of old, the
cashier, who also acts as bouncer, cast
glance behind him to make sure that
his club was in easy reach. and said:
Buy yer chips here er y can't git
inter this game.'
"Ah, Jim, good afternoon" said Peg,
with the easy elegance for which he was
famed. II dropped i'll here to have a
little talk with you. I've got little idea
I'd like"
Have you got thirteen cents?" de-
manded the cashier, putting strenuous
emphasis upon the set price OF the In
perial's justly celebrated table dhote
dinner.
With an airy wave of his hand Peg
dismissed the question.
What | came to see you about is
this" he explained. ~ have thought
out little scheme-'
Pm onter yer little schemes. Y
don't go on the outside ofany tabble dote
meals here on the stren'th OF a dyvy yer
goin' ter get t'morrow."
NOT at ALL" replied Peg, with dig
nifty, though an expression of pain
fitted over his features. II have no
such intention, assure YOU"
"Ner y don't slide in Oh me like Y did
Wen y give me tn song an dance
about Shiny Miggs settlin' fer yer
grub. an then put in yer three square
meals with Skinny, beside yer putin in
more than he cud pay fer on his own
hook. let alone squarin' fer yousa"
IF YOU arc 49,
.hwllling to let bygones
| be bygones," began Pegdot, with gath,
ering wrath on his brow; ''if you're
looking for trouble and won't listen tc
gent who wants to explain some thing
to you"
A minatory wave of the wooden leg
suggested the conclusion, and the cash
ier-bouncer hastily stepped back, fol
| Pegdot had been known to throw him
self on his back and rotate from his OWL
axis with such effect that those who en-
couutered the wooden leg in it's tiigh
went to the hospital in an ambulance.
Don't git google-eyed, Peg" sait
he. i'll conciliatory tones, at the same
time laying his hand on the emergenc,
club. PUT some ice down yer collar
an sing yer tra-la."
Thus adjured the veteran panhandle
propped himself up against the desk
and Jim hastily closed the cash drawer
an involuntary tribute to his character
which in nowise discounted the visitor
You observed me in here last weel
several times, JIM" began Peg.
Yep" was the answer. "Y' wa
here till fought y muster give VI
drinkin' fer Twin an taken ter eatin'. :
you may also have observed" pro
ceeded the visitor, that each time
was brung here by gent who paid TO
my dinner, and then went away"
"Y' had good ting in tow ever.
turn outer TIL box" assented Jim.
"Four of those last week." said Peg
dot. retiectively. land couldn't toucl
one of them for cent. Nothing bu
meals. Jim, do you understand VIII,
those gents came here and blew me OF
to squareY"
"Repitation of TIL restyrant," SAT-
jim, glancing proudly at an Aubrey
Beards]eyish sign informing hungr,
public through the medium Of writing
letters in sanguinary hues that "pullkil
pie" was to be had for three sents
slise."
"lhose gents, Jim, were philanthrop
lists"
II fought they wns soft marks"
THAT'S what ! said. put got it dow
finer. Now my scheme is to get ahea,
of these philanthropists this way
Some gent that writes letters to III
papers wrote about how no real, first
class philanthropist would give none.
to street beggar, but only take him t
q joint and buy him meal. wish
had that mug here" and the wooden
leg described an exclamation point il
the air. "Since then | amt had
thing but grub, grub, grub, till it give
Inc the jiggers to look at bill of fare.
"Wotcher goin' ter do about it?" in
quired the other in unconscious para
phrase Of o historic parsonage.