The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-09-24
ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE.

ALL y 4 A1lO In LIZ ' IIs
Mr. Wiggles was to marry Irene NAL
travers. WiggleS was q crusty old fellow
with q fortune, and Irene's father @ad
compelled her to give up Ned Eford,
whom she loved, to marry wealth
Mr. Wiggles, the bridegroom, lived in q
little town connected by railroad with
BainsfOrd and not more than 30 miles
away. Early on the appointed morning he
might have been seen vending his way to
the railway station. AS he approached an
engine driver came up.
Bound to Bainsford, sir?"
eyes, sir.s't
''Ah, then you're the gentleman. There's
no passenger train today, sir; won't run
till midnight, sir. The director Of this
road told me, sir, to be sure and get To-
connective ready for you to take you there. -
''Why isn't there a carp said Wiggles
as the man pointed to the putting and
snorting machine.
Please, sir; no, sir; there are no cars;
only this locomotive -
''HumphP' exclaimed Wiggles solemnly,
ST suppose I must 60
The man put his carpetbag in, got in
himself, touched crank, and with puff
and snort away went the engine.
Mr. Wiggles at first felt little hurried,
but after few moments he grew accus-
amused himself by watching the scenery
AS he looked at the landscape and noticed
the telegraph posts one after the other
flashing past the strange thought occurred
to his mind that he was travelling at a
most fearfully rapid pace He therefore
touched the engineers arm and prepared
to speak What was Wiggles' surprise at
seeing the engineer turn and make a hide
Gus grimace2 He laughed in a sickly man
ner.
Friend" he cried. "ain't we going
rather fast9''
The friend rolled up his eyes till only
the whites were visible After this he
turned the lids over so that a hideous red
margin appeared over the whites
'tGOOd Lord" cried Wiggles, 1.-The man
is crazyl'
Suddenly the man commenced dancing
violently. Then he sprang on the back Of
the engine, and standing on his head he
put his heels against the funnel and stared
at WigRles. After this he came back
''We'n soon be there, - he said
"Where?" gasped Wiggles
''In New York.
f'New York"
'fThey've got an air line from there to
Baunsbury. 1t goes through the air. We
go thump against the depot, and we van
ish. Last time went to Baunsbury
went straight on the regular track, This
time Pm going to try the air line. Heyl''
He poked Wiggles in the ribs. Wiggles
was so paralyzed by fear that he could not
utter a word.
Perhaps, though, we had better not
wait till we get into the depot. Perhaps
we had better run into the next train, OF
go off the track now.'' So, sui5ing the
action to the word, the man gave TIRE
mendOus pull at the crank.
Wiggles did not wait for the catastrophe
He tainted
That night the house of Squire Maltrav-
ers was crowded with guests. Invited to
the wedding, they had come, expecting to
enjoy the most brilliant marriage festival
ever seen in this part of the world.
But the squire wore no smile on his
face. The bridegroom had been expected
at noon. He had not only not come at
noon, but ut dusk he still was absent. I'm
able to contain himself, the squire rode
out to the station To his horror no Wig
giles came.
Perhaps Wiggles had arrived and was
already in the house. In vain. On his
rival there the first person whom he met
asked him where was Wiggles. Wiggles
was not to be found.
Chow unfortunateP' said they all.
1.-THE scoundrelP' cried the squire, en-
ragged at the disappointment.
''It's my opinion that he has intended
this all along" said the bride, who, by
the way, supported herself with wonderful
fortitude.
This remark stung the squire to the
quick by JoTe, III have revenge on the
rascal Iii teach him how to make a fool
of mel mp
But the squire was interrupted by the
entrance of a young man, who walked
straight up to him and bowed respectfully.
''AlfOrd?'' exclaimed the squire doubt
fully.
Mr. Maltravers,'' said he, "you never
felt any particular affection for me, but
perhaps you won't object to act reasona-
bly, now Here you are, put in very awk-
ward place through that villain Wiggles
Now, loved your daughter long ago, and
we have been engaged. You had no right
to overlook me and give her to a fellow
who doesn't care a pin for anybody but
himself The company are wondering be-
low, the bride is waiting, the wedding
must go on. Let me be the bridegroom -
The squire did not get angry. He did
not even pause to consider He seized AL
ford's hand, slapped his back and to the
astonishment of all present, cried out:
Afford, my lad, take her. Blow me if
I amt glad that cursed nincompoop didn't
come You are worth ten such fellows as
he Come along, Irene, dear; you won't
object, L know. Come along, Afford; give
her your arm, you dog, you Come. -
And the bluff old squire, heading the
procession, advanced into the midst of the
astounded company. A few words explain
ed all. To the honor Of human nature, the
whole house rang with applause. The cere-
mony was short but decisive, and the en-
thusiastic company could hardly wait for
it to be over. AS the last amen was said
every soul crowded up to congratulate the
happy pair.
1t leaked out in the course of aPmonth,
long after Afford and his bride had settled
in New Y ork, that the mad engineer was
an old friend, who decoyed Wiggles into
car; that he merely carried him of to the
other end of the line, where the lOcomO-
tive was wanted, and that his mad ges-