Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-03-05
Now the timid, doubling sutton,
BY Professor ROentgen's art,
May, before he speaks, discover

Indianapolis Journal.
"Am SO glad you had the doctor; did
he relieve you?" "Yes; of $20."-Bos-
ton Courier.
Teacher-What was Joan of Arc
maid of? Bright Pupil--Made of dust.
Boston Transcript.
Elsie-My husband is very hard to-
please. Louise-He must have chang
ed considerably since he married you.
New York Herald.
"How many people will this car
seat?" inquired the loquacious passen-
ger. women or men?" asked the con-
ductor.-Chicago Evening Post.
There was once professor who. be-
ing asked what he knew upon certain
subject, replied, Nothing; I have not
even lectured on it."-Argonaut.
do you believe in luck?" II should
say SO; snow last night blew off my
neighbours walk and drifted to the full
length Of mine!'-ChicagO Record.
"Will you be my wife, Fraulein
Paula, and make me happy?" II am
sorry, Doctor, but should like to BIO
happy myself" -Humoristische Blaet-
| ter.
Willie-I know sister would be glad
to so skating with you. Ringway-
What makes you think so? 'She says
she has been dying all winter TO have
you break the ice."-Life.
you're the only doctor who advises
me to stay ut home. All the others
say ought to go to a winter resort"
II suppose they have all the patients
they want.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Willie-What's the matter with your
nose, Bobby? Bobby-Tommy Higgin-
botham an me had a fight in school
about some marbles. Willie-Who got
'em? BObby-Teacher-J
Lawyer Ca few years hence)-Make
your mind easy. The jury will disa-
gree. Prisoner-Suref lawyer
know it,. Two of the members are man
and wife.-New York Dispatch.
Dad. what's running account
''Its. an open account with dry goods
store; my son, which keeps your moth
er running downtown all the time to
buy ething."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
She-He whistled as he went for
want of thought. OF course 1t was a
boy. You wouldn't find a girl whistling
for want Of thought. He-No; she
wouldn't whistles; she'd talk.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
"Man wants but little here below
So runs the good old song;
If he but advertises, though,
He doesn't want that long.
Printers Ink.
He-Oh, dear! 1 wish I could get
hold of some biscuits like mother used
to make for me! She-And wish /
could get some good clothes like father
used to buy for me.-TndianapOlis Jour
nal.
81 wish those electric sleighs were in
use in Pittsburg," remarked Miss Point
Breeze to Miss Schenley Park. ''Why?"
II understand they can be guided by
the feet alone."-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Charles-Really, I think that Miss
Gray takes good deal Of interest in
me. Henry-But you should remem-
Der that where the interest Is large the
security Is apt to be pretty pOor.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
"Ah! that's a great strainr' exclaimed
the tenor, who was exercising his voice
in his bedroom. "A great strain it is"
replied his roommate, ION those who
have to listen to it."-Pittsburg Chron-
icle-Telegraph.
Wen let these ''barons" do their WILL
Nor try to thwart their little game,
If, when the price of coal goes up,
The mercury will do the same.
Washington Star.
Susy-Say, auntie, dear, you're an old
maid, aren't you? Aunt Emma (hesi-
tatingly)-Certainly, Susy; but 1t is not
nice of you to ask such question.
Susy-Now, don't be veXed, aIntie;
know 1t isn't your fault.-Herriedene
Laubfrosch.
"What is the trouble between Ak
leigh and his wife, "Only a little
family jar. He was saying that he
would give anything If he could have a
wheel, and she suggested that he might
take one of those he had in his head"
Boston Transcript.
81 am going to propose to Miss jim
kles," said Whykins, thoughtfully.
HAS she given You any encourage
ment? 81 should say SO. Why, she
is afraid am pending too much mon
ey for bouquets and matinee tickets"
Washington Star.
Mother-Now, Willie, you've been
eating mince pies till you've made
yourself Ill. shall have to send for
the doctor. Willie-I say, IL you are
sending for the doctor may have an
other mince pie? 1t won't make any
difference, you know.-Moonshine
Excuse me, Mr. Barnothing.v. said
the London lady to her very wealthy
acquaintance, "but isn't mining very
interestingly Very, ma'am." II am
very ignorant on that score. Tel me,
do diamonds come In quartz? "Oh, /
suppose some people that work on a
small scale get 'em that way; but hal
'em comm in gallons, ma'am."-Wash-
ingtop Star.
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