The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-05-16


Who runs the price of coal.
Washington Btar.
"You told me you and Harry loved
at sight" Eyes, but we quarreled on
acquaintance. Truth.
He (gallantly)-I couldn't kiss any
one but you, dearl Shelf that's the
case, you can't kiss me.-san Francisco
Wave.
Baroness, have you heard" us II
secret, your ExcellencyY "Yesn
"Then | have heard Of it."--Flieeendo
Blaetter.
Jones-Smlth is in business for him.
self, isn't he? Brown-For himself3
Well, should say he Is in business for
the benefit of an extravagant familv-
Brooklyn Life.
Mlnnie-I never noticed before thar
this mirror had a wrinkle In II. Mania
i thought you were able to see wrln-.
kles in any mirror you looked into
indianapolis Journal.
IF only knew whether the police-
man is standing there because NOTHING
is happening, or whether nothing ia
happening because he is standing
there"-Fliegende Blaetter.
'All the good things have been said
Staylate murmured with a sigh:
Mabel yawned and shook her head
well, suppose you try 'good-by.'"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Mamma, really cannot see whv vo,
call my Reginald the lodge;' indeed.
cannot Il call him that because he ia
such a poor excuse for a man."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Gadzooks-We don't seem to hear
anything nowadays about the coming
woman. Zounds-No because she has
already come, and is now off on her
wheel.-New York Tribune.
Watts-There seems to be some truth
In the saying that heaven helps those
who help themselves. Potts-Of course
there is. They are the only kind worth
helping.-lndianapolis Journal.
How is your daughter getting on
with the piano, Nunson? .First-rate.
She can play with both hands now.
She says she win be able to play with
her ear In six months. "-Househol
Words.
Uncle Hays-Member the Hawkins
boys who ran away to jine theater
company! Aunt Marthy-Why, yesr
What about 'em? Uncle Hays (auiet-
ly)-Theyve walked Cincinnati
Enquirer
Ieacher-George, what excuse have
you for being late? George far
FETCHED one. Teacher-What do you
meanf George-The conductor of the
car carried me several blocks past the
school.-Harpers Round Table
The leap year valentine, they say
lbut who shall trust in rumOrsD
wan bring out Cupid, bright and gay,
Upon bike, in boomers
Washington Star.
Biggs- am so stout that | know
exercise would do me lots of good.
Iams-Then why don't you get out and
shovel that snow off the walk? Biggs
-Ihats not exercise, that's work
Truth.
Il say, Bellevue, lend me $40. win
your You have struck me ut the
most unfortunate time of the year,
Manchester" How So" ..February
is the shortest month. "-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
It's all right, we suppose, to say that
a man is homely enough to stop train.
Out hell find he's not homely enough
10 stop 1t If he has arrived at the sta
tloh minute after it has started
fonkers Statesman.
MY lips are sore, but camphor ice
l VIII not have" said May.
vi ,,r course twould cure them, you see,
I"ouid Keep the chaps away"
-Harper's Bazaar.
i"'ent-Ihat sign of yours is not
very encouraging. Dentist-Why so?
guarantee to extract teeth without
PAIN Patient-Yes; but l want the
PAIN extracted. I'd rather keep the
'oo'n'-fhiladelphia Record.
wonder how warm the room is"
S"iu bioobumper. Benny. go and look
d. 'he thermometer" The little boys
I
consultation must have been very I'M
satisfactory, for he said, presently, 'the
thermometer isn't going Truth.
FIRST new woman tat the club)-Whar
makes you so blue? Second ditto-My
ia'her-ln-law has come to stay with u.s.
ana John and he sit at their knitting
all DAY and cry about my treatment
oi John.-Philadelphia Record.
HE brakeman's "all aboardr ere long
VIM be of little worth,
"nen from the airship rings the song.
Come, all get off the earth
he-Nhy do you like the Wagnerian
operas so much better than those of the
i'ailan school? She-Oh, Wagner OPP
eras make so much noise that you can
'aiK all you like through the perform
ance, and nobody can hear you.-Som-
eryille Journal.
l must get book Of etiquette" said
hiaud. What forY" inquired Mamie.
want to find out what Senatorial
sour'esy Is "Oh, | heard my father
iAlng about that. know what that
20. IT'S rule by which every Senator
- FORBIDDEN to Interfere when they
set 20 dlsgracIng one another" wash