Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1896-08-15
THOMPSON STREET BICYCLE
CLUB.

Copyright, 1885, by the Bachelor SyndicateJ
There were tears in the eyes OF President
Ioots OF the Thompson Street Colored b.
| cycle Club. as he opened the meeting and
| looked down upon the members from the
platform, and there was q culver Of the
lip and trembling Of the chin as he said:
"Gemlen Of de Club: While we who am
heah tonight war feastin' on Ice cream an
cokernuts last week, an maxim merry In
our hearts, death an destruckshun war
busy among some of our best-beloved. Io'
all know ledge Higinbottom Jaybird. one
| OF de charter members Of dis club, an de
inventor of de best brand Of fly paper in de
market. De ledge had arrove at de aige Of
sixty-two vars when he was indooced to
jine wild u.s.
He had his doubts bout cher bein' able
to ride de wild an ferocious bike. but yit
he wanted to be In de swim wild de rest of
us. What dat man passed frew in sixty
days am not fully recorded on airth. He
rented wheel an went to work. He was
out arly in de maWnin'. an he was out
late at night. Some days when l called at
his cabin dar a grim smile of exulta-
shun on his face-de sort Of a smile which
20 Will see on de face of de man who has
Jest dropped down twelve feet from tree
an landed on his ear without hurtin him
any. Some days / found him wild tears in
his eyes an seben stickin' plasters stuck
ober his body
II hev stood by an seen dat ole man run
his wheel up tree ober a boss block,
down a man-hole an into street kyar. I
hev seen him git de left pedal flop de
right pedal bounce an de handle bar
whlzz l hev seen him land on his feet.
on his back. on his knees an on de HAIRS
of his head
Two days ago. arter ben' bounced OFF
sixteen times in secession. an arter bein'
run away wild an carried up a high stoop.
dc jedge laid down on de sidewalk an
Wept. He was weepin'. VIXEN long cum a
white man who p'intcd lie finger of scorn
| an riicule at him an advised HIM to go
! and ride a fence.
DE tears ceased to fall de teef shet wild
click. an ledge Jaybird riz up to show
| DAT white man dat de blood of warriors
ran in his veins He banged dat bike till
| he had loosened all its bones. an Den made
| a kangaroo mount an started off down
| de street Fur about inch and a half
ali Went we'll Den de onery masheen to ok
| dc bit in its nouf an started off wild biff,
baTg; glaEg! Befo' yo' could count ten
iong-drawn shrek rent de evenin' air, an
| de 1edge took what am called de double
headed Syasticutus an struck de airth to
hey his spirit relea sed from its mortal CLAW
| Tender hands lifted nim an tried to pour
! soda water down his froat. but it was too
| late. Oar was de body. shet up like tele-
sc ope an ehery bone broken an one ear
| showed down on his Adams apple, but de
soul had took its flight. De funeral was
| held last eavenin'. an most of de members
OF dis club war present. His chair will be
| treasurer of de club will hand de wilder
| S2o to help out on funeral expenses"
Plans for the Hendstone.
| Brother Sundovn White arose to make
| an inquiry. Was it the intention of the
| club to advise the widow to have a bicycle
cut on the Judges tombstone in connection
with the usual epitapho He had heard
| rumors to that effect, and he thought the
| idea good one The picture should show
| the bike standing on its hind legs. with
| ferocious look on its face and the body Of
| the judge literally distributed over the sur
| rounding territory. re--~
Il believe dar has bin talk of SIGH thing Il"
| answered the president, but can't say dat
! l favor it. We know. an frew de news
| papers all de present generashun knows. dat
| ledge Jaybird was deliberately an mali
| ciously murdered by his bike. 1t was one
| Of de most cod-blooded affairs of de CEN
| TRY. an yit he tempted his own fate. Should
| we show up de affair on tombstun it would
| emily discourage men an women who might
| make good riders.
| Absent Members.
| The secretary announced in explanation
| of the absence Of Three-Ply Hopkins that
he had attempted to run over street car
| with his bike and made a failure of II.
They had him bandaged from head to
foot. and were tanning him with rab-
bits foot and the doctor had great hopes
1
| Of General Washington Taylor it was re-
| solved that every street car ought to stop
at crossing and ring a cow bell for thirty
seconds to warn wheelmen against the
| danger of a collision.
| Abraham Lincoln Green was not present
because he made a mistake in thinking he
knew all about the trick Of back pedaliHg
| dov the hill. The wheel got away from
| him early in the game and after killing
| grocery wagon horse. knocking down two
| men and shaving the wheels Of wagon it
threw him over fence and plunged into
! the river. Abraham was not dangerously
hurt but he wanted to sit In dark room
at home and wonder how 1t all happened.
| Admiral Bumbo Sackett was missing
from his accustomed place but had writ
! ten a message in chalk on a Single to
the reason why. While out on his bike"
| he discovered dog sleeping in the road
His idea was to shave close and see the
dog jump. but he lost the left pedal and
went over the dog.
The dog jumped. just as he had fondly
expected. but so did the bike, and the
three of them got mixed up and clawed
admiral had to be helped home and put
to bed. He expected to survive, and would
probably be at the next meeting. and mean
While w0 of De BpwS Speech entitled
and best wishes. and added that il any
member out on HIS wheel felt like running
over anything he'd better try it on a
Hintsior Besinners.
President Toots then announced the fol-
lowing hints and suggestions for new be-
girrers: IL Is
Don't try to- catch the handle bars
with your teeth
Don't lpok around to see If the hind
| wheel is following.
Don't re surprised IL the front wheel
shows a disposition to turn into yard
ard lie down for a rest
always fall ION your right shoulder,
and do notelet your ear strike the ground
till a few seconds later.
when you lose pedal don't get of
and go back to look for it. It's right
there on the machine, and if you'll feel
around iorg enough you'll find 1t again.
Should you find a runaway horse on
your trail keep close to the curb until he
has passed. Then make a squirt and seize
him by the tail and put on the brake.
Never XII PEDESTRIAN when it can be