Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-27
The TRESPIAN'S APOLOGY.
ALL ACTORS ARE THE CREATURES
OF CIRCUMSTANCE.
Why Members of the Theatrical Pro-
feHsIon Find 1t Difficult TO Con-
form TO ConventionaIities-
Theatrical Marriages.
From the st. Louis Republic.

members of this profession are loose of
habit and poor Of purse. In order to make
myself perfectly clear, it will be necessary
foI me to tell n few stories and reproduce
some dialogue out of one of my own days"
! The Intelligent Actor had a cigarette in
his left hand and 4 glass of beer in mis-
right. He took draUght of each and re-
sumed:
Each night of last week We concluded
our performance at 1850. BY HE We were
iu our street attire, and at II 30 We sat
down TO bite OF lunch in our rooms. We
had Travelled all of the day from the last
one night stand. The day before we had
done the same thing. The next day we
were to go through it again. The train left
On one morning at $50; on another il was
O'Clock when We got away. II you have
ever worked until 11:3O at night you know
that one does not feel inclined TO pile off
10 bed Immediately. The brain needs some
sort of recreation before it will go to sleep.
There is nothing to be done at II O'Clock
D. m. in a town Of 1900 or 5000 people. We
sit in our rooms after our bite smoke
cigarettes and then turn in. AS rule the
hotels of small towns are not good. The
beds are rich in shucks; the table is not
rich in anything. You may find sign, as
j did on one occasion, reading like this:
If you don't like this hotel, get out In
another this inscription was displayed in a
prominent place in the diningroom: Don't
talk about the cook. She's my wife
The man who sees us only in the luxury
of modern city hotel or back OF the foot
lights of one Of the great theaters, with
applauding crowds in front and many per-
sonal friends on every hand, cannot see
why We do not adjust ourselves TO society,
as other people do, and make a business
out of our art. He does not know that the
great majority of actors are compelled to
play many weeks of one night stands each
urifh rid g, 4I,of 10
know the Pullman idea, and whose under
lying rails have long needed relaying.
These remarks are only preliminary to
plea. want to open the contention that
after humping over bad roads, playing in
poor theaters night after night, sleeping
on passe beds, and eating food in hotels
where the walter sings out, How'll ye hev
yer egg done this mornin'? a man must
have relaxation. When he gets close to
an electric button he cannot keep himself
from pressing It. even until
Glooms begin
To shiver off as lights creep in.
For two weeks we have been going to
bed at IL and getting up at 8 or or 8,
according to the leaving time of the train
We are back to a city for fortnight's
stay You have only to press the button
and the bell boy does th1 rest from bring
ing creme de menthe to getting the lat
est paper or a certain kind of collar ten
blocks down the street. We are blamed
Tor spending our money and having a good
tlme when we get to town again. Perhaps
we ought TO be blamed, but 1 don't see
how IL is to be helped
Sometimes we get a bit of fun out of
our experiences In small places; but after
awhile the humor becomes grim to U.S. One
afternoon our company got to a small
town In North Dakota. Our manager went
around to look at the opera house. II was
over hardware store, and one man di-
ri ad farFta
ager had concluded the sale of plow he
walked over to our representative
said.
- Yes said our man. I want to see
what wen need for the performance
You won't need nothin',' the local
right
THE two went up stairs, and after look
ing about moment, our manager asked to
see the dressing rooms.
There it is,' the local impresario said.
But there's only one room there. You
don't expect the ladies and gentlemen of
our company to dress together
Why the manager exclaimed, much
astonished. don't they speak?'
1t was up in that country, too. that we
round manager who had forgotten about
having contract with US. The crops had
been so good that the theatrical gentleman
OF the town had found his time occupied in
trade When We got in he was surprised
to see us.
I'm mighty sorry he said. but ye
Our manager at once demanded a rea.
son.
Well, it's like this the local guide in
dramatic art went on. I clean lost sight of
your contract
What's that got to do with it2' our
manager asked.
g" Well, you see,' the other man said
rather apologetically, the op'ry house is
full of hay
We tried hard to give Saturday mat
inee In Minnesota village one Saturday
afternoon, but It was not possible TO gel
an orchestra together.
1e see said the resident manager
.Bill Brown, who plays the trombone, can't
leave his fathers blacksmith shop. and
hawkins, the postmaster, who plays the
drum. has got TO stay at the office tin g.
sometimes we go through two or three
weeks with receipts that make the question
Oh getting home again n serious matter
lheh' when we get into Easy street once
more, we are only human beings. We drinl,
10 your health, to our own health. to eyerv
bodys health. We know 1t won't last al
ways We know that there are other one
night stands, Just as bad as those at our
mack Why shouldn't we make hay while
there Is some one at the other end of the
electric buttons wire? l wen understand
that most well regulated people will not adj
mt that We have excuse for our annual
visitation OF poverty; but when we try TO
oe business men we do not get much en-
enlargement In this very town not SO
long ago 1 received "A cheque for 5000 from
an Eastern debtor. OF course wanted the
money. asked the manager of our com
pany to sign the paper to give the trans
action the tone of regularity. Then 1 went
10 the hotel 10 get the cash.
am very sorry, said the clerk but
haven't that amount of money in hand
thought it funny. but It didn't occur
70 me that he was not telling the truth
Then | went TO the bank
You must be Identified the TELLER said
or course, / should have known that. The
clerk of the hotel went with me,
Then II was discovered that the name
on the front OF the check was not spelled
as my signature on the back. / tried TO
explain that there could by no possibility
be two of us, and that the mistake was
only trifiing error of the New York bank
To cut long story short, / had to get a
certificate TO that effect from our manager
When l went for Il my Ydentifiers disap-
peared. When l returned TO the bank the
teller said:
And the gentlemen who were with you
where are they2'
If this is business thought, Z want
none OF it, but did not say that
I would like to know I went on with
what thought fine sarcasm. whether you
have ever lost any money in this bank?
" It's against the rules the teller said
but wen pay it
You do not wonder. do YOU that
pressed the electric button many times
when ! got back to my hotel?"
We are blamed on every hand for being
people of Inconsistency in matters of the