The herald., 1896-01-20
COL. DECkMAN'S DISCOURSE
The True Blue Deputy Zaniero
Philosophers
NOT QUITE ONTO DE GAME
The Boys Who Should Be 0rnamentin'
de Payrolls
Eatn' Baled Hay Sandwiches-De Main Street
Job'n Be q Bute-Its Provi-
dence an Nothin Else
NOT QUITE ONTO DE GAME

Col. Michael Deckman, deputy zanjero,
leaned up against the particular pillar
which is his personal property in the city
hall, putting away at a Daniel O'Connell
cigar which had been foisted upon him by
false pretences, for the Colonel is too
thoroughly American to relish anything in
the smoking line that has paid duty any
where east of Main street.
II amt onto de game as it's being
played, somehow" remarked the Colonel.
plaintively, as he borrowed four whifs of
Capt. MartindaIe's best igniter. "Dere's
something wrong in de combination, some
where. Here's dozens of good fellows who
fought and bled in the last campaign
a-walking around in de mud wearing gunny
sacks for socks, with the wet tickling
their shins, instead of being where dey
belong, ornamentin' de pay rolls of
the police department or runnin'
to fires. We fellers made a cam
paign of education for true blue American
ism and agin de Irish, and what have we
got? Here's Bosqui, doin' de waitin' act
down on Alameda street, wild de scum of
de Ate ward, instead of bein' gentleman,
drawin' hundred wheels month as
sistin' John Glass to preserve order and
keep de peace, while Goodman, the Sibe-
rian exile, is eatin' lamb chops and wearin'
clothes made by Joe Poheim.
II tink some of US was sold out cheap,
and de rustlers who ought to be in it is
eatin' baied hay sandwiches and asphalt
stewed in Belmont avenue oil.
Colonel Deckman stopped long enough
to direct an old Spanish lady to the tax
collectors Office and continued:
"Here's desc new school houses. De job
of buildin' 'em was given to two foreigners,
and home talent from the association of
which all of us is such shinin' lights, had
no show, and now dat de job amt done
accordin' to time, instead of enrichin' de
Irelanders' blood who is doin' de work,
dey gets continuance. Oh, no, dis amt
no queer world nor nuthin'. It's in Ana
helm where all of de jays in de world amt
a-livin'.
"Dey give us pledge dat no foreigner
was to get a smell if RAIDER was elected,
and here's Walter Moore bossin' Ed Smith
around wors'en ST. Patrick bossed Ireland
when de whisky run dry and de snakes
quit a-rattlin.
Dere's Meserve still pullin' de trolley in
de park department and he'd see us in
Pasadena before he'd join de association.
Here's Ramish and Marsh drawin' down a
tousand every new moon drectin' de burn
ing of de swill, when some of de people
ought to habe de job at twice de pay"
cough up dere kidneys ebery time some
corporation sneezes is wonder. DE oil
fellers only asked that de anti-refinery Or
dinance be crucifled, and what did de coun-
Gil do? Dey raised 'em a hundred and
give 'em special license to plant dere per-
fumery factory in de Seventh ward. We
aiut sayin' a word desc days, but wait till
next December. If political corpses won't
be sellin' for ten cents on de dollar den
aint no bugler."
"We're goin' to open bids for de new
advertisin' and de cards'll be stacked if
what's what, which may be it amt always
nowadays. Of course we needs official
organ again dis winter. and l don't know
but dat we'll have to lay to, to de captain
again dis year. He comes awful expensive,
but he's reliable, which is never true wild
de colonel. De committee give de captain
$500 to line up for RAIDER last time and
dat ought to have been a clean receipt for
de life of de administration. But II wasn't.
He got de printin, too, and he'll get it
again"
"Talkin' about bids, wait till de Main
street job is let. Dat'll be a butte, and
dere aint nobody big enough to fall heir to
dat pile around here. I guess we'll have to
send for Traynor himself to cut dat little
present just right. I've been a tryin' to
work, NO Irish need apply but he's got no
backbone. Says 'twouldn't do to shut Pat
Darcy out of de party altogether.
"What are we goin' to do about de new
primary law? We're for it, as we're for all
tings as is pure. Dat law was made for us.
1t shuts out de small fry like Billy Dunn
and John Drain, aud will make de railroad
and Fred Wood do business wild us, who is
somebody, direct.
Say, dere is more pickin' in dat law than
dere is in a lemon orchard. Ii de ting
sticks, and we're a'goin' to carry it up till
it does, dere III only be 81 delegates in de
next city convention, and that'll make it
de caper for me to turn out only people.
See de point? Me and de rest of us in the
real chariot I'll be next to de candidates for
whole year. Well be ridin' in parlor
cars while de graft like Hervey Lindley III
be or de hog train"
"Oh, tings is a lookin' Up a bit, but we
amt any of lis got dis administration TO
tank for it. It's Providence dat's helped
us tide over a hard winter, and nothin'
elee.'