The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-08-29
WHOLE NO.. 800.


Washington i'll February 1861, ii friend
whose hatred of and contempt for Buch
anan overcame his better Judgment ask
ed him if he intended on Inauguration
day 70 ride to the capitol with the retir-
ing president in a carriage on whether
he would 90 alone. That reminds me, y
he answered, ''cf the man out i'll Nc
Aean county. Ills. who having the APP
pcarancc of IA Quaker, was asked when
he arose to testify in court whether he
preferred to swear or affirm. I don't
care Il d-n which. was the reply"
With an incXhaustihlc fund and an
unusually developed taste for jokes and
anecdotes it is a great wrong to Mr..
Liucoln's memory to believe that he
was always telling them. or that being
devoid Of other things to occupy his
mind he told them simply to kill time.
1t was his pastime and served the dou-
bic purpose Of relieving his brain after
severe mental application and Of driving
away the atmosphere Of melancholy that
so often becloudcd his otherwise buoy
ant nature. A foreign lawyer-that is,
one not brought UP on the circuit-on
listening to Lincoln argument before Il
jury i'll Edgar county criticised him be-
cause ho lost too much time telling sto-
ries. "Ah, my friend. rotorted Usher
+. Lindcr, don't lay the flattcring unc-
tion to voilr soul that Lincoln is losing
time lie is like Tansoy's h0rsc-hc
breaks To win. =" When in profound
arguments, such as his political speech
es and official uttcrances, stories We're
out of place he never used them. but in
/ appeals before country juries and during
/ his moments Of ease at the tavern they
Were his most useful and convenient i'm
plemcnts. II is almost impossible now
/ to dctcrmiI which Of his narratives
We're improy scd and which were second
hand. Many Of them were invented and
strung together on the spot, and others
antedated Rahclais.
The following story, evidently not
original with him. he told few days
after his rot1ln from congress in the
spring Of 194o in d store in Springfield
in the presence cf four persons, two of
them being william Butler and Abner
Y. Ellis. Ny account is from the lat
tcr's MS, which hold and which was
written in 1868: "Thc Millerite move
mcnt III the forties suggested to him
/ the story Of the tailor and his redhead-
cd wife who, previous to ascending the
hill and d0nning their ascension robes,
had agreed to make a clean breast of
such things as for obvious reasons
they had withhold from each others
knowledge. Begin, said the husband.
We'll, dear responded the wife looking
down and digging her toes in the sand,
our little Sammy is not your child.
Whose is he then?' asked the astonished
husband. The one eyed shoemaker s,
said the wife. And what about Dick|
His father is Brown, the blacksmith up
the creek. And who do the other chill
dren belong to:' gasped the now aston
ished husband. oh. they belong to the
neighborhood, coolly answered the
wife. Well, then, he yelled, Gabriel,
blow your horn! I'm ready to go
now" "
The mirthful element in Mr. Lin
coins construction has too often been
misunderstood, and he has in conse-
qucncc been too severely ccnsured by GER
tain prim and infiexiblc people, who
charge him with irrcyerent and undig-
nified conduct The very abandon and
levity Cf which these people complain
was often the shield with which he
warded off the more serious thrusts
made by his opponents. How few there
are who could by force Of will subduc
their anguish, conceal their chagrin, as
he was 50 often forced TO do and divert
their rthoughtsfrom II deep funereal chan
mel to cXprC ssions Of indifference and
mirth! To persons who besuught him to
make more emphatic and frequent
avowal Of tompcrance-rather than his
empcrate-proclivitie he would tell
the story Of the committee in the Hi
, nois legislature to whom was referred u
bill to restrain more effectively the sale
of liquors One member proposed that
the bill should he returned to the house
with the report that the committee
could not consistently favor such radical
measures at that time. That is wholly
needless, > said another member, ''for
the noses Of the committee are more
, emphatic declaration of their anthem
perance proclivitics -
Some Of Mr.. Lincoln outbursts were
| humorous and laughable as mucl
from the time and occasion when they
r occurred as from the inherent fun they
, contained or suggested, and some were
: so odd it is difficult to reconcile then
with ones notion of gentlemanly
t good behavior. Mr.. Herndon ha'
t told Of his loud guffaw at read
r ing given in public hall by lady
e elocutionist i'll Springfield who had re
| cited the piece, Miss Flora McFlim
= sey" and James f. Murdock, the actor,
! describes an episode equally amusing
and undignified. 'One day, relates the
, latter, "a detachment of troops was
marching along the avenue (Pennsyl
a vania avenue. in Washington) singing
the soul stirring strain Of John Brown.
4 They We're walled i'll on either side by
$ throngs Of citizens and strangers whose
voices mingled in the roll of the mighty
war song. In the midst of this exciting
scene man had clambered into a small
tree on the sidewalk, where he clune
@ unmindful Of the jeers Of the passing
0 crowd, called forth by the strange an
f tics he was unconsciously exhibiting in
. his efforts to overcome the swaying mo
f tion of the slight stem which bent be
2 meath his weight Mr.. Lincoln's atten
I oil g, ,,,l l.,