The record-union., 1896-08-09

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sort, for, after all, there is no attain
ment of real pleasure under conditions
except of comfort.-Chicago Tribune
\
Most ordinances agree in stating that
in city or town no bicyclist shall ride
on sidewalks; that too great speed is
dangerous; that coasting, where cross
streets are common, is dangerous, and
that anything likely to endanger foot
passengers, or be dangerous to the
wheelmen must be avoided. The regu-
lations are made to cover these mat
tiers. 1t therefore behoOves the wheel
men to guard against any of these mat
ters; for if we all thought of the possi-
ble danger and inconvenience to other
citizens, there would be no occasion for
stricter regulations than there have
been for carriages.
The average gear of mans wheel
nowadays, 1 believe, is 6S, correspond
ing to the old-fashioned high wheel 6S
inches in diameter. A 63 gear is
much easier one on rough roads and up
hills, but on smooth tracks ana down
grades 63 gear makes a mans knees
wabble ridiculously fast, giving the
"chopping-tray' effect A 74-inch
scar, and even much higher, is affected
by some young and fast riders, but as
rule these high gears have no place
away from racetracks They give great
speed, but take an enormous expendi-
ture of nervous energy and muscular
strength.
Upon the bench he sat and sat,
While others came and went,
His face, hilf hidden meath his hat,
Showed doubt and terror blent;
His sweetheart passed; he didn't rise;
She knew not what he meant
She little guessed the dreadful ties
That held him while she went,
For though with love his heart was
filled
He moved to no extent
| Because he sat where someone spilled
| A tube of bike cement!
In Chicago Wheelmen have a novel
method of warning pedestrians of their
approach. Rubber bands are stretched
from the sides of the forks up to the
handle bars, which vibrate musically in
| the breeze caused by the riders rapid
progress. The parks are said to be
full of these alarms, and pedestrians are
continually being frightened by the
queer sounds as squad of wheelmen
speed down the boulevards.
A piece of barbed wire fence is said
c,1nC
chain rivet if a chain should break on
the road. If wheeiman has to walk
home, after this piece of advice. be-
cause he neglected to put barbed wire
fence in his pocket before starting.
nobody can be blamed but himself
San Francisco Argus.
Borrowall Happening in)-That's a
tine machine of yours, Ferguson. Some
day I'll come around and take it out for
little spin. By the way, what kind of
bicycle would you advise me to ride?
Ferguson-Id advise you to ride one
OF your own.-Chicago Tribune.
Crimsonbeak-I always turn down
side street when 1 see my tailor coming
now
Yeast-Do you mean to tell me you
owe him money again?
No; he's learning to ride a bicycle"
Did it hurt you when you fell,
Madge?"
Hurt me? I broke bottle of arnica
and a bottle of oil liniment in the
pockets of my new ten-dollar bloom
ers,"
The old man shaded his eyes and
looked after the fleeing bicyclist disap-
pearing UP the road
l wonder he ruminated, whether
Post
Bitts-What makes you saw that
Blgley is travelling on his face most of
the time now?
WHISTLES learning to ride a BIZ
cycle. New York World.
Attorney-What was there about the
deceased that led you to believe he was
| o. unsound mind?
Witness-Well, for one thing. he ab-
horred bicycles.
My NAV understands French and
German"
Pooh. My NAV kin talk bicycle and
baseball"
Upon their wheels one day they met:
They wheeled into marriage:
she gave it up; he's wheeling yet
But now a baby carriage
IL you should become very fatieued
| when riding it is we'll to change the no..
sition of your saddle and handle bar
slightly. 1t will ease you a great deal.
1heres many new sensation found
| In the popular sport of wheeling,
But queerest of all, when far from home
Is that 'punctured tired feeling"
| 1t Is simply astonishing the wav the
bicycle is displacing the horse," .It is
indeed. Yesterday I found a piece of
rubber tire in my sausage"
She-Did you know / had a new bicv-
Gle suit?
He-No, I didn't. Whom have vo,
been running over now?
| JULIUS CAESAR