Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-04-14
THE TWO C0LoNELs' DINNER.
The Pill Wasn't ADDED Up.


The following good story was re-
Gently told by Col. Thomas P. Ochiltree
OF Texas, to Philadelphia Times re-
porter:
Many cars ago Col. Calfer-he and
his friends always pronounce it Ke-ar-
tor-aad Colonel Culpepper, two true
born Southern "sem'men," had been, il
the habit OF visiting New York city at
stated intervals, making their head
Quarters al the New York Hotel, which
was then The facorite resort OF people
from tho South. The war, and the
downfall Of King Cotton, intertered
with these conditions 0t life and it was
not until many years later that they
bethought them Of returning 10 the
scene Of their youthful festivities. They
visited the metropolis and registered at
the Continental Hotel Broadway and
Twenty-frst street. which at that time
was frequented by many travellers who
hailed from below Mason and Dixon
line. Their thoughts recurring 10 ear
lier scenes. they determined upon hay
ing one good dinner in DelmoHicos 5. at
Broadway and TweDJy-siXth street,
where they had expended many a dollar
in the good cid days befJ' de wah
They seated themselves in the Broad
way dining room. where men alone
gather. and ordered the best on the bill
of fare and plenty Of rare old wine, eX
pecting TO pay good, tidy sum for the
meal. At the conclusion Of the repast
the two lovely old cocks were in a mel
low mood and Colonel Carter command
ed the waiter, in an amiable tone, 10
bring the check He did so and placed
il upon the table Colonel Carter was
just then engaged in Renaissance Of
the past. and in lingering the various
articles upon the tablecloth he managed
10 get the dinner check under the wine
list, which, rs everybody knows, who
knows anything about Delmonico's,
represents many wines of rare vintages
and high prices. Having concluded his
story, Colonel Carter put on his eye
glasses. and. picking up the wine card,
inspected it with grave demeanor,
and, looking at It's lower risnt-hand
corner, said to Colonel Culpepper:
"The damn niger hasn't added up
the bill. That's the way with these
fellahs when they get to the North. Too
lazy, sub"
Colonel Culpepper said nothing, but
gravely smoked his cigar while his
friend carefully added up every item
upon the wine list, including the prices
of Chateau YQuem. Of Chateau Laftte,
of Steinberger Cabinet, OF Johanissber-
ger, Of Chateau MargauX Of Close de
VoUgeot, OF the finest Otard brandy, Of
the rarest sherries, ports and Madeiras,
and having fixed a total went over it
backwards in order TO see that he had
made no mistake. He showed no trace
of excitement as he turned to Colonel
Culpepper and said with the impertur-
liability Of true Southern gentleman:
Colonel Culpeppeh, l think there
mus be some mistake, heah. We have
dined and wined eXtravagantly. sub,
like gentlemen, and l expected 10 have
a heavy bill, but, sab, look upon this
as an extortiOn. Our bill, sub, is 81
0S075"
Colonel Culpepper never removed his
cigar from his mouth. Blowing an
other ring from between his lips, he
said: Colonel Carter there Is only one
thing to do. Don't forget, sub, that you
are a Suth'n gentleman. Pay the bill
but shoot the waiter.
History does not record the result.