Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-04-15

Stone is to rest one shamefully robbed
In life by his wifes son, and Esq. Tom
And David Leary's wife.
A fayorite, found in many places, is:
Stranger reflect as you pass by,
As YOU are now, so once was l,
As am now so shall you be,
Prepare for death, and follow me.
Those written on children are especially
noticeable for their brevity, Tor instance,
this from Stowe:
Sacred to the memory Of three twins;
and again, from Darlington:
Died when young aud full Of promise
on whooping cough our Thomas.
The very virtues Of the deceased often prove
their ruin, from an elegiac point Of view, as
in the following case, from Maine:
Here Betsy Brown her body lies,
| Her soul is flying in the skies.
/ While here on earth, she sometimes spun
/ Six hundred skeins, from sun TO sun,
And woye one day her daughter brags,
/ Two hundred pounds of carpet rags.
aud in another, from Pembroke, \. II
/ Here lies a man never beat by plan,
/ Straight was his aim, and sure Of his game,
Never was lover but invented revolver,
while Amanda loves has homeiy domes-
ticity about it that recalls LowelPs fayorite
epitaph, "She was so pleasant % For Aman-
da, we learn,
Loved me, and my grandchildren reyerenced
She bathed my feet, and kept my socks well
darned
In Wayland we have, apparently, the origi-
nal mugwump:
Here lies the body of DR.. Hayward
A man who never voted.
Ofsuch is the kingdom of heaven,
And at Wendell another original is buried ::
Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor,
Who lived aud died without doctor.
At Mount Auburn an especially pungent
inscription is recorded:
Here lies a man beneath this sod
VINO slandered all except his God,
And him he would have slandered too,
But that his God he never knew.
And another in Connecticut, in which the
relatives evidently got even with the hus-
band of the deceased
Here lies the mother of children five,
OF whom three are dead and two are alive,
The three that are dead preferred rather
To die with their mother than live with theig
father
Outside of New England the harvest is
not so rich yet some gleanings may be
presented. Delaware records one in which
grief struggles with grammar as follows;
And am she dead, and are she code?
And have she lef. all alone'
0, cruel fate you is unkind
To take she fore and leave ! hind;
while Pennsylvania has another, full OF
stammerlng eloquence:
She was-words is wanting to tell what
Think what a friend should be-she was that
From New York comes a specimen with
a suggestive flavor Of the railway time-ta-
bic about il:
She was in health at il.J0 M.
And left for heaven at $3.50 p. m.
and second that is breathlessly brief:
This corpse
is
Phebe Thorp-
Poor Phebe was there nothing more to say.
From mountain churchyard in Penn.
sylvania comes this warning:
Here in this world we make short stay for
Death will come and take no nay;
Be always ready night and day.
l suddenly was snatched away
The following has no local habitation, but
is universally applicable:
4 bird a man, loaded gun
No bird-dead man-thy viii be done.
The next is from Irelaud-or, if it isn't, i
ought to be. for it is bull of truly Irist
; breed:
, Here lies William Green, who died in Man
, chester. Sept. Is, IS. Had he lived be woul'
have been buried here
Still there are New England examples quit
as bad-or good-such as:
Here lies the body of Thomas Vernon,
y The only surviving son Of Admiral Vernon,
while this, though American, is certainl,
f ambiguous
The winter snow congealed his form,
But now we know our Uncle's warm.
There is 10 ambiguity, howeyes, to be com
I, plaiued Of in the following appeal
Alpha White,
Weight 800 lbs.
: Open wide ye golden gates
That lead to the heavenly shore
Our father suffered IN passing through
= And mother weighs much more.
t Which reminds one OF the inscription d
. Shetford churchyard England
n Beneath this monumental stone
Lies half ton Of flesh and bone.
The list grows too long, and ] forbear.-
: The trivality Of such foHd record as thi
has already gone far enough for the paiienc
of the reader -Spriaqfed Republican.
It Children Cry 70
Pitchers CaStcYias