The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-11-11
A MANUAL OF EDUCATION.
Remnants Of Early Instruction codiasd

Remnants Of Early Instruction Codihed
For che Benefit of the FOrgetfuI.
The few selections below are offered as a
specimen page of a little book which I
have in course of preparation. Every man
has somewhere in the back Of lis head the
wreck of a thing which he calls his educa~
ton. NV book is intended to embody in
concise form these remnants Of early in
struction Educatiens are divided into
splendid educations, thorough classical ed
ucations and average educations. All very
old men have splendid educations. All men
who apparently know nothing else have
thorough classical educations Nobody
has an average education.
An education, when it is all written ont
on foolscap, covers nearly ten pages. 1t
takes about six years of severe college
training to acquire it. Even then man
often finds that he somehow hasn't got his
education just where he can put his thumb
on it When my little book of eight or
ten pages has appeared, every body may
carry his education in his hip pocket.
Those who have not had the advantage OF
an early training win be enabled by a few
hours of conscientious application to put
themselves on an equal footing with the
most scholarly.
The selections are chosen entirely at
random.
REMAINS OF ASTRONOMY.
Astronomy teaches the correct use Of
the sun and planets. These may be put
on G frame of little sticks and turned
round. This causes the tides. Those at
the ends Of the sticks are enormously far
away. From time TO time a diligent
searching of the sticks reveals new planets.
The orbit of a planet is the distance the
stick goes round in going round Astron-
omy is intensely interesting. 1t should be
done at night in a high tower i'll Spitz-
bergen. This is to avoid the astronomy
being interrupted A really good astron-
omer can tell when comet is coming too
near him by the warning buzz of the re-
volving sticks.
u-REMAINs OF HISTORY.
Aztecs.-A fabulous race, half man,
half horse, half mound builder. They
fourished at about the same time as the
early Callithumpians. They have left some
awfully stupendous monuments of them
selves somewhere.
eral, the last who ever landed in Britain
without being stopped at the custom
house. On returning to his Sabine farm
to fetch something, he was stabbed by
Brutus and died with the words, ''Veni,
vidi, tekel, upbarsinl'' in his throat The
jury returned d verdict of strsngulation.
Life of Voltaire.-A Frenchman. Very
bitter.
Life of Schopenhauer.-A German.
Very deep. But it was not really notice
able when he sat down.
Life of Dante.-An Italian The first
to introduce the banana and the class OF
street organ known as Dante's Inferno. .
Peter the Great, Alfred the Great, Fred
erick the Great, John the Great, Tom the
Great, Jim the Great, Joe the Great etc.
1t Is impossible for busy man to keep
these apart They sought a living as kings
and apostles and pugilists, and SO on.
Iu-REMAINs OF BOTANY.
Botany is the art of plants. Plants are
divided into trees, flowers and vegetables
The true botanist knows tree as soon as
he sees it He learns to distinguish it
from vegetable by merely putting his ear
to it.
Iv-REAfAINs OF NATURAL SCIENCE.
Natural science treats of motion and
force. Many of it's teachings remain as part
Of an educated mans permanent equip
ment in life.
Such are:
"a The harder you shove on a bicycle
the faster it will go. This is because of
natural science
OBJ If you fall from a high tower, you
fall quicker and quicker and quicker. A
judicious selection of tower will insure
any rate of speed.
To- If you put your thumb in between
two cogs, it will go on and on until the
wheels are arrested by your suspenders.
This is machinery.
(d) Electricity is of two kinds positive
and negative The difference is, pre-
sumo, that one kind comes little more ex-
pensive, but is more durable; the other is
a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.
Stephen Leacock in Truth.