Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-10-22
TEA-TABLE SALAD.
HOT.

He'd have been what is called hot stuff.
Detroit News Tribune.
Judge-"You have been behind the
bars several times. | know your face
Prisoner "a barkeeper)-"Yes, your
honor; | have served you in every saloon
I ever worked philadelphia Record.
Kitson-''A foolish New York artist
has just married an Indian who posed
for several of her pictures.
Thatcher-"Well, | suppose she was
looking for a model husband. "-Phila-
delphia North American.
This is a story of young mans meek
politeness. Once, when leaving home,
at his destination, to telegraph yes.
This he did. His father, in the mean
time. had forgotten the arrangement,
and upon receiving the telegram wired
back: "Yes. what?' The young man
answered: ''Yes, sir
THE TRADE.
He gave his life's blood for her
Oh, contamination sad.
For he was busted duke. you know.
And his blood was all he mad.
Detroit Tribune.
Crimsonbeak-"You know Fakely, the
mind reader|
"Well, yesterday he had to go back to
the house three times to ascertain why
his wife tied a little piece of cord around
his finger. "-Yonkers Statesman.
'You speak of the BROOKS" said the
critic, as he looked over his friends
poem, "as the most joyous things in ma
ture."
$50 they are said the poet.
"But you are inconsistent
"Why?'
Because later on you say they are
always murmuring.'
"What sort of climate have you:" IN
quired the prospective visitor.
''Splendid!" said the proprietor of the
hotel at the summer resort. Cool ana
bracing; creates a great appetite. Why,
our visitors declare that they are as
hungry after a meal as before.
A piece of lunar caustic forms handy
test for the genuineness of silver coins.
1t is merely necessary to slightly wet
the surface of the coin and rub it with
the caustic, when, if base, a black stain
at once appears; if genuine, no such eff
feet is produced.
Sympathizer Ito PROSTATE bicyclist)-
''Any serious damage from the acct
dent?'
Fallen Bcyclist feebly)-'I don't
looked at my wheel" Faints away
Brooklyn Life.
Il just finished Miss shryber's, new
novel this afternoon" Il have heard
something of it. 1t is ah-suitable for
home reading?' .strictly. I know I
would not like to be seen reading it in
public. Indianapolis Journal.
Hubby, what in the deuce did YOU
mean by letting that note [ indorsed for
you go to protest?'
why, man, there was no other way
unless / paid the thing. "-Detroit Free
Press.
''You broke the engagement"
Eyes. it was either the engagement or
me. "-Larks.
'Miss Oldley is one old maid whc
doesn't try to conceal her age
. Yes; b but she knows it's no use''
"Her twin brother lives with her.
Answers.
Jaggs-"I want to get new hat
Hatter-"Which size-night before or
morning after?'-Texas Sitter.
Wyld-'That barber has shaved me
for two years. and don't believe 1 have
spoken dozen words to him.
Mack-"How is that?''
Wyld-"He has never given me a
chance '-Tid-Bits
Jones why do people borrow trouble
so much?'
Smith because it isn't necessary to
put up any collateral. Sitter.
''Who is that man who calls on you so
frequently" Hes an inventor I'm
deed! What has he invented?' ooh,
ever so many things" ANY of them
practical?" Eyes; he has had a good
deal of success in inventing reasons why
1 should lend him anything from so cents
to $5."-Washington Star.
IT'S the last rose of summer.
Why hangs she thus on?
And does not the reason
Upon you then dawn?
Fate has for maidens
Like her only frowns,
For shirt-waiStS are cheaper
Than tailor-made gowns.
Detroit Sunday News-Tribune
Tupman-"Winkle seems to be very
angry with the vicar
Snodgrass-''Yes You see. he got
angry with him and calling him fool, and
theGicar, ia replying, addressed him as
brother
When the present Lord Dudley pro-
posed to his wife, then Miss Quincy,
he told her that though he could not
marry the most lovely woman in the
world, for that she was his mother, he
hoped to become the husband of the
next most beautiful. Miss Quincy was
at that time all but schoolgirl. She is
now one of the acknowledged beauties
of the day.
INCAPACITATED
His Drawn and skill none can resist;
Yet he can ne'er become
Successful pugiliSt,
Because he's deaf and dumb.