The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1896-05-15
WILL YOU BE s.OFE,, OR '.ERON..
CateChism to which Some would.
be RaiIrOaders Have TO Submit


as railway has the reputation of being
very particular IN the matter Of employ
ing trainmen, desiring only those who
have had considerable experience in that
branch of the service. The following is
a conversation said t. have been over
heard in Mr.. MaXwell's office between
the gentleman and an applicant for a
as a passenger conductor:
"Where did you come from?'
"From General Manager st. John, of
the Chicago, Burlington & Quincy
What did you come here to do?'
"TO learn to subdue my energies and
improve the railroad service
Then you are a railroad man, infer?:'
II am so taken 10 be by all officials
who know their business
"How may know you to be a railroad
man."
by looking over my letters and ex-
amlning me in the signals. Try me.
How will you be tried!'
by The punch.'
"Why by the punch:"
because it is an emblem Of honesty
and the principal tool o! my profession.
"Where were YOU first prepared to be
railroad man?'
"ln my mind. !"
"Where Dehts'
Upon a farm adjoining the right of
way"
How were you prepared:'
"By braklng upon threshing ma
chine for SIX months, after which | went
to town and sought admission 10 the
trainmasters clerk -
How were you received?"
Upon the gaze Of the trainmaster ap-
piled to my physiognomy, which Is thus
explained AS it is always a source Of
pleasure to the trainmaster TO receive
callers, | should drop in and chat with
possible"
"How We're you disposed of"
81 was seated in II chair near the train
masters desk and asked If / put my
trust ia safety coupling devices,
~ our answer"
"Not ii ! know myself, | don't.
NV hat was then done with you"
Il Was led up and down the yard three
times To aceustOm myself to The nose of
the trains, thence TO the chief dlspatcher.' .
"Iow We're you then disposed of -
y Was seated upon II brake wheel be
fore train boy and CAUSED 10 take the
following horrible and binding oath l,
Steve Sears cp hereby and hereon most
everlastlngly and diabollcally swear by
the great horn spoon that | will always
remit and never conceal any of tie cash
collected by me IS conductor, and that |
VIII hot cut, make, use, collect or remit
any cash fares less than those found III
+ The regular tariff book. | further promise
and swear that | wiIlfreely contribute 10
all subscriptions circulated to buy my
superior officer token of esteem, etc, as
far us lie may desire and my salary will
permit, to al OF which | soemnly swear,
binding myself under no less penalty
than that Of haviug my salary cut from
Year TO Year, all my perquisltes taken
away and expended for sand ballast to
Tut under the Mckinley extension, where
the trains come and 60 twice in twenty
tour hours, SO he p're Boblngersoll, and
, keep my backbone stiff -
"N hat did YOU then behold?a
''lhc trainm aster's clerk approached
me and presented me with il Bishop
safety coupling knife and instructed me
TO take it to the yaidmaster, Who would
teach me how to Use it,
"liow are Bishop coupling knives
used ~
"By sticking them in thu left hip
pocNet with the blade turned up
Mr. Maxwell here informed the ap-
plican, that he was satisfied that he was
IA railroad man and asked him If lie
would be "otF' or from"
Il will be off from here it you will
give me a passenger train.'
"Have you cigars %
II have"
"WiIl you give them to mes'
THAT is not the manner in which I
get them and cannot SO dispose OF them."
"How can / get them then?"
II will match you head or tails for
them
III go you; begin"
You beyia y
mo, begin yourself; you have the
| cigars
'All aboard: you are 0. X. Come
arcuLd again in the morning and | will
arrange to send you down to the Trini ty
and Sabine division to take the mixed
train there