The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-01-30

Rulparker believed that the moment his
balloon got fair innings upon any war
like body Of men no country would,
after the trial, open hostilities against
any other nation. Thus war, and also
the first army on which the balloon
opened out, would be blotted from the
face Of the earth.
After much experimenting Kulparker
At last had successful trial Of his auto
matte balloon in the open country some
distance west Of New York. He used
wooden plugs instead Of dynamite car
tridges, and they came down all right at
the proper intervals, although they
nearly sacrificed several industrious
farmers, who did not know what struck
them, and who yainly searched for the
mischievous boys whom the indignant
agriculturists thought we're throwing
the blocks Of wood.
Unfortunately at the time the auto.
matio balloon was completed there was
no really first class war going on, and
Kulparker knew Of no people, tired Of
life, who wished to have the balloon
tried upon them. The Ohina-Japan
struggle had been brought to a close
without the aid Of the automatic, and
Europe was in state Of profound peace.
However, it is hard to discourage real
inventor. SO Kulparker took glance
over the universe and realized that, al
though it was but one horse affair at
the best, the Cuban rebellion offered him
the only chance Of satisfactory test for
the balloon.
His sympathies were with the rebels,
as all our sympathies are, and 80 he
opened communications with the Cuban
revolt committee in New York. He saw
there most polished gentleman, Major
Kotanzes, who listened with interest to
what Kulparker had to say. The invent
Or wanted $2O,OOO for his patent and
the sample balloon. Major Kotanzes
said he would gladly pay double pro-
vided the balloon did all that was
claimed for it. If, therefore, Mr.. Kul-
parker would go to Cuba with his bal
loon and wipe out Spanish corps or
two, the money would be promptly paid
to him, and they would finish up the re-
bellion in brilliant style with the patent
automatic.
Kulparker demurred at this. He had
no desire to visit Cuba at that moment.
There was danger Of being captured by
a Spanish cruiser before they reached
the land, and in that case, with the bal
loon and dynamite in his possession,
Kulparker did not rightly see what ex-
cuse he could make to the Spanish gov
ernment.
The major blandly pointed out that
the Spanish cruisers occupied themselves
with capturing innocent merchant ves-
sells Of numerous neutral nations, thus
keeping the government at Madrid busy
apologizing, but that they never by any
chance hit upon a real flibustering
schooner, and that the rebels up to date
had had no trouble in landing all the
munitions Of war they wanted. If the
revolt committee sent over the balloon
without any one to work it who under
stood its habits and customs, the trial
would doubtless be failure, and 80 no
good would accrue to anybody, while
the Spanish troops, who sadly needed
amusement on the desolate plains,
would be deprived Of the fireworks dis
play which would bring SO much excite
ment into their camp, and, by blowing
them up with dynamite, prevent their
dying Of ennui or fever. The committee
was willing to pay Kulparker's ex-
penses to Cuba and back, and, in the
event of success, to give him, in cash,
double what he asked, which offer, the
major politely insisted, was all that any
reasonable man could ask.
If wars had been plentiful, it is doubt
full that Kulparker would have gone to
Cuba; but, as every one knows, they
were deplorably scarce, so it was that OF
nothing
Kulparker was put aboard a luggel
from deserted sand dune in Florida,
together with his balloon and about
1000 rounds of dynamite cartridges. II
was an anxious voyage, he knowing that
there was such quantity of sensitive
jor proved to have been right about
what he said of the vigilance Of tht
Spanish cruisers. The lugger landed
without molestation in little cove or
the island, and scouts were sent out t.
find the whereabouts Of the rebel army
or some part of it. At last the deadly
apparatus was loaded on mules, ani
thus they made for the hills, where in
formation had been received that Gen
eral Carambo and his men were station
ed. Carambo was not in good humo
when the outfit arrived. He had jus
had a brush with the Spaniards, wht
were encamped in the valley; and al
though both sides had telegraphed to th'
world at large that each had achieved I
great victory General Carambo did no
appear satisfied with the result and hat
taken to the hills, while the Spaniard
were busy contracting yellow fever il
the valley.
When General Carambo found tina
the committee had sent him new fan
gled balloon and a tenderfoot to worl
it, when what he wanted was something
to drink, he made no attempt to concea
his anger. He wanted gunpowder, no
dynamite-in fact, he had never hear
of dynamite before.