davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

If a thousand workers, all essential
to the work of producing and distribut-
ing $4,000 worth of wealth, be equita-
bly, paid, should each not have SIC,
supposing all put in the same time?
II you say that some should have more,
then you assume that some are less es-
sential. II "unskilled" labor should he
paid less for time, how would it be II
some skilled" man would have to do
that work? Should he then be paid
less? The fallacy that leads to all the
ills from which we suffer to-day Is the
superstition or custom that one is en-
titled to more for a days labor than
another, and from this one fallacy
arises the colossal wrong OF paying one
man often 100000 a day for stepping
in between producer and consumer and
hindering the free exchange of goods.
If each worker got his rightful share OF
wealth, according to his time, there
could be no want or poverty. IL men
gave equivalents in transactions there
could never be men living in idleness.
Business is to give as little as possible
to swindle the other fellow. Justice
is not possible with private ownership
of production and distribution, nor by
any other means can labor be usefully
employed.-Appeal to Reason.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Justice ito colored prisoner3-Yor
plead innocent Of the charge OF the$t
and yet you were caught with two 81
Mr.. Punkinseeds chickens in your pos
session. How do you explain The Or
cumstanoe?
C. P.-De 'cumstance am easy nuff 10
'splain, yer honor. l took de chickens
by permission.
Justice-How's that? You don't mean
to say he gave them to you?
c. P.-Well, not 'zackly, but sum-
phen Equivalent, yer honor. Yer see, it
was this way: l arsks de genlman to
give some 'sistance to po' Niger out
of job, an he says amt goin' to help
any beggar, but Ise willin' enough to
help a man to help hisself. I says dat's
al want, massa, chance to help mes
self. Wei, just den he steps side de
barn an l was left alone side de chick
EN- coop, so takes de first chance he
gives me to help mesself, an OATS how
l comes In p'session OBJ de chickens.
Oar want no theft bout it, yer honor
Brooklyn Life.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
The Chinese Work Backward.

The Chinese do everything back.
ward. Their compass points to the
south instead of the north. The men
wear skirts and the women trousers;
while the men wear their hair long,
the women coil theirs in a knot. The
dressmakers are men; the women car
ry burdens The spoken language 10
not written, and the written lam
guage is not spoken. Books are read
backward, and any notes are inserted
at the top White is used for mourn
ing, and the bridesmaids wear black
instead of being maidens these func-
tionaries are old women. The Chin
csc surname comes first, and they
shake their own hands instead of the
hand of the one whom they would
greet. Vessels are launched sideways
and horses are mounted from the off
side. They commence their dinner
with dessert and end up with soup
and fish. In shaving, the barber
operates on the head, cutting the hair
upward then downward, and then
pollshes it off with small knife,
which is passed over the eyebrows and
into the nose to remove superfluous
hairs. st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

When a union assumes formidable
proportions it becomes a source of ter
ror to those whose interests are op-
posed to it, and the quiet conspiracies,
that are SO seldom heard of, take place
and the problem Of rendering the or
ganization ineffective are quietly dis
oussed. There are many methods by
which trade unions can be rendered
impotent, but the best is to have in the
ranks of the workers one or two appa-
rently active and sincere men who ap-
pear to be full of energy and devoted
to the unions cause, but whose real
mission is to arouse jealousy, faotional
strife and eventually bring about the
examinations dissolution. These
quiet conspiracies" usually result in
the employment of few capable spies
whose duty 1t is to seek admission to
the organization they desire to wreck.
BY hook or by crook they secure ad-
mission, by suave manners and willing
work they become prominent and the
rest Is easy. We know of prominent
official of the A. F. of L. who had sew
eral Pinkertons sitting with him as
members of the general board of his
national organization, and we remem-
Der when it was discovered that the
yice-president of an eastern state Fed
Grafton of Labor was discovered to be
a Pinkerton. In almost every organ
isation of Importance there are men
who cannot be trusted. During the
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

woodworkers' strike In st. Louis one
of the leading employers boasted about
the ability of the spies he had in his
employ, who conveyed to him all that
transpired at the union meetings. It
is said that the general secretary OF
the Amalgamated Association Of Street
Railway Employs assert that tho
street railway corporations have In
their employ a number Of professional
scabs whose duty is to break up strikes.
They are species of Pinkertonism,
and while probably not Pinkertons, yet
they are vile enough to be classed as
such. 1t will pay every union to be
on the lookout for the mischief maker
in the union, and the mischief maker Is
not always the man who kicks openly,
but more frequently the man who pulls
the strings and makes the other fellow
do the kicking.-Wood-W Worker,
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Syndicates, by one stroke, get the
power of selling dear on one side and
producing cheap on the other. Thus
they keep themselves happy, prices
high, and the people hungry. The
dream of the king who wished that all
his people had but one neck that he
might decapitate them at one blow Is
realized to-day in this industrial gar
rote. The syndicate has but to turn
its screw and every neck begins to
break. Prices paid to such intercept
ers are not an exchange or service;
they are ransom paid by the people for
their lives. The ability of the citizen
to pay may fluctuate; what he must pay
remains fixed, or advances like the rent
of the Irish tenant to the absentee land
lord, until the community interferes.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

August McCraith, secretary of the
American Federation of Labor, in last
Sundays Cincinnati Commercial Re-
publican, says: have often
wondered if the rich know how
the poor live, and 1 have reached
the conclusion that they do not. 1t
is impossible for me to conceive that
one having the power to relieve suffer-
Ing should know of it and not do so.
When say know" mean that knowl-
edge born of experience and contact.
True, many good people have a hazy
idea. cleaned from the daily press, that
there Is suffering somewhere by some
body. But 1t is not brought home to
them by ocular demonstration, and 1t
Is dismissed from the mind, perhaps,
by the thought that some one else in
that particular place will take care OF
it. There is the Society for INDECENT
Persons" or the church relief commit
tee, to which they contribute a great,
whose business is to look after such
cases, and Of course they will.
Who does not know the wages of the
average working girl? What class is
1t that can plead Indifference or igno-
rance here? Yet who is it that secures
laws for factory and mill, sanitation
and otherwise? Organized labor.
Who is it that has established early
closing and given the shop girls
chance to rest? Organized labor.
Who is 1t that fights the sweater,
begs and drags the girls into the union
and makes life for her less a blank?
Organized labor.
Who Is it that stands ready to help
her, as she only can be helped, If she
will but cooperate? Organized labor.
And what Of wealth? Looking SUI
pinely on, unknowingly, or often an
tagonizing, denouncing and combating
the labor movement.
Still I believe that all this unrest on
the part of the toilers, this suffering,
these sacrifices, these monster gather
ings, these professions, these out
breaks, strikes, boycotts, blacklist
Ings, imprisonments, denunciations
and resolutions are not for nothing.
They will crystalize in the near future,
and conditions will be bettered.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Ben Bethel has left Cassville, Mo-,
for good, and therefore has lost bis
vote. He went, too, Of his own free
will, and, sad to say, took sweet, inno-
cent girl with him. Ben had been in
love with Minnie Davis, but her papa
objected, whereupon he transferred his
affections to Maude Hayes, whom he
asked to marry him at once. The lat
ter argued that his request was "too
sudden" Then the fiend shot her, and
an instant later turned the gun on him
self with fatal results The fool killer
evidently had not been in Cassville for
a long time, else Ben Bethel would have
left town much sooner titan he did.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Until, my land! don't see how you
ever do get through.
! think woman haln't no call to DO
them sort of chores,
She ought to have servant for to
wash an clean the floors,
An do the other work; an if her hus-
band can't afford
That sort of thing, it's his lookout-an'
mercy me, good Lord!
I would just like to see myself go slav-
in on that plan
An workin' off my finger ends to plea
sure any man.
My husband married me for looks, an
got 'em-more or less
An sometimes when I fix my hair an
wear another dress
He says I amt so homely yet, an takes
an old-time kiss
But what's the use? It's all the same
hundred years from this.
yuu never have no time at all to gossip
at the door,
Or talk about your neighbors what's
come on the other floor
There's somethin' queer about them
folks, they're wearin too good
clothes
An see the way that girl of theirs holds
up her snubby nose.
They think they're somethin', that's
fact. I stopped the littlest one
An asked him where they used to live,
an what his sister done.
An where his pepper worked, an how
his mommer spelt her name.
An, say, he told me everything, an
that was why l came
To let you know at once about the folks
you's Twin nigh
What! Is that man your brother? Well,
you needn't git so high.
Oh, shut the door on me- of course.
Yes, that's the way to do!
Now I'll go on to Mrs. Jones an tell her
about you"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
A Little Mixed.

George Todgers, where have you
been until this time in the morningP"
been havin' little fnanshul dis
cushin, thash all"
Couldn't you do your discussing by
daylight"
mot thish time, m'dear. had to
stay and prove that t'other side sticked
Its matistics."
Ibid what?.'
"Sicked it's mixtistics.
Say that again"
"Course l can say it again Micked
its stitics. Wha's matt'r with that?"
"Well, you go to bed. I'll see that
your statistics are thoroughly mixed
for you in the morning Climb"
Cleveland Plain-dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

One by one all the coarse and vulgar
features are being eliminated from the
football game. First the CORY flying
wedge was barred out and the rules so
revised as to decrease the necessary
number Of physicians in attendance to
an appreciate extent. Up to this year,
however, the game has always been
played outdoors, with the result that
many a high-bred college youth had
to consult specialist on chapped
hands. Now the Chicago University
proposes getting around this difficulty
by holding it's Thanksgiving day game
indoors. OF course, this is only an
other step in the line Of the aesthetic
and many uncouth features are yet to
be wiped out, but the good work Is pro-
crossing rapidly and the evolution Of
the once brutal sport into game Of
bean bags is but the matter of few
years.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Labor and Industrial.

German printers of Toledo won their
strike against the Daily Express.
The new metal workers federation
propose to establish million-dollar
strike fund.
The iron and steel workers lost fif-
teen lodges and gained forty-fve dur
ing the year.
The Central Labor Union of Cleve-
land. O., recently passed resolution
fayoring boycott on all firms employ
ing members of the National Guard.
The Cincinnati Commercial Tribune
devoted six entire pages and some 200
portraits and illustrations to Labor
Day and trades union affairs.
over 200 men-printers, bookbind-
ers. pressmen and helpers-employed
at CHM & Co.'s publishing house, Bos-
ton. are on strike because the employ
ers refused to discharge a man who
would not become a member of the
union.
The official British Labor Gazette re-
ports trade in Canada dull. New South
Wales is ripped up by strikes, the iron
workers and miners and shoeworkers
having gone out for better wages. In
Victoria and South Australia there Is
no demand for labor.
Plymouth has followed the example
of Glasgow. Huddersfield and other
British cities and municipalized its
street railways. Fares have been re-
duced to two cents, hours of labor cut
to eight a day, and still the profit Is
large enough to pay the interest and
create a sinking fund.
Labors Exponent says: There is not
a single reform demanded by trades
unionists that could not be had, and
quickly, too, by the intelligent exer-
else of the ballot We hold the balance
of power, and by cutting loose from po-
litical parties and using our votes
wisely we can accomplish much, not
for union alone, but for humanity in
general"
President Gompers has secured and
hung in his Office the first charter is
sued by the National Labor Union, the
predecessor of the American Fedora
ton of Labor, which was formed at
Rochester, N. Y, August 20, 1866. The
charter was issued to Labor Union NO.
Of Black River Falls, Wis, and Is
signed by w. H. Silvers, president, and
]. Vincent, secretary.
Between 1887 and 1894 panacea for
labor troubles was discovered and ex-
nloited. The device called profit shar-
ing was hailed by enthusiasts-men
richly endowed with good intentions,
n with little else-as a deliverance Of
EMPLOYERS and employed from all caus-
es of disagreement. 1t was billed to
Danish industrial infelicities and by SO
doing to promote the prosperity OF
CAPITALISTS and wageworkers. But this
pleasing programme has failed of full
fiIlment. 1t has decidedly and con-
spicuously failed. OF fifty different es-
Establishments that have tried the ex-
pertinent of profit sharing only twelve
are continuing it in any form. Five
have abandoned the system indefinitely
and thirty-three permanently.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

DR.. Carl Barnes, an eminent eastern
medical authority, has discovered that
the Roentgen rays may be put to q
most useful practical purpose as a
means of preventing burial alive. He
says they enable one to see distinctly
whether or not the blood has become
decompGsed; the first and quickest sign
of death. He placed his own hand and
a dead hand on the same plate holder,
thus obtaining the two X-ray pictures
side by side on the same plate, and the
resulting difference in the picture was
so startling that he at once proceeded
to make number of similar pictures,
obtaining the same results in every
case.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

The gross earnings of the railways Of
the United States for the year ending
June 80, 1895, were $1075,371, 462, an
increase of $2,OO9,66 for the year being
thus shown. Passenger revenue was
$252, FAC, 1S0, showing decrease of $685.
103,378, or 11.60 per cent for the year.
Freight revenue increased $30,502, $40,
or 4.36 per cent, being 1929, 993, 1852 for
1895. The expenses of operation for
the same period were $725,720, AIS,
which were $500, 9O7 less than for 1894
The important unit in railway statis-
tics designated as the co-efficient of op-
Grating expenses, that is the percentage
of operating expenses to operating in
come, for 1895, was 67.4S per cent;
for 1890, $3.50 per cent. The income
from operation, $349,65 ,O47, though
$7,703,572 greater than 1t was in 1894,
was yet less than for any other year
since 1890. The income accruing to
railways from investments and sources
other than operation, amounted to
1892, 432,133. These figures compared
with corresponding ones for the prev
ious year, show decrease of $40, 1884,
sos. The amount Of money at the dis
posal of railways for fixed charges and
dividends is the aggregate of income
from operation and income from other
sources. This amount for 1896 was
$4S2, 0S3,1S0. Fixed charges for the
year amounted to $425,966,921. In 1894
they were 1904, $3.50 greater. The de-
duction of fixed charges leaves $685.
1929 as net income from which to
pay dividends. The amount of divi-
dends, including $673,957 other pay
ments from net income, was $85 1861, 500,
from which it appears that the rail-
ways Of the United States closed the
year with a deficit from the years op-
erations of $29, S45,241, which was met
by a decrease in accumulated surplus,
or by the creation of current liabilities.
The corresponding deficit for the year
ending June 80, 1894 was $45,S51, 294.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Worst Kind of a Case.

"You look thin and careworn, Tad
ley" said the man in the russell shoes.
Insomnia" replied Tadley, with
groan.
insomnia" repeated the man in the
russell shoes. ooh! come now, man
with no more than you have to worry
him doesn't get insomnia"
"It's the baby that's got it," ex-
planned Tadley, as he stepped off the
ferry-boat and resumed his struggle
with life.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Proprietor-Pat, how do you like the


Miss De Gush-I was so sorry to hear
of your accident. Do you think it will
turn out very seriously?
Mr. Wheeler-The doctor says that
my countenance will never be quite the
same. Otherwise I'll be all right.
Miss De CUSHION, you always we're
such a lucky person!-Cleveland Lead
err.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Prof. James Custom, spiritualist,
has been to st. Joe, Mich, for three
weeks trying to locate the lost steamer
Chicora, which went down last winter.
Friends of science will be glad to learn
that the professor succeeded in finding
the steamer, which he says lies at the
bottom of the lake ten miles out and
in 1870 feet of water. But the ten thou
sand dollar reward has not been paid
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
The Old Gam 0.

The Old Game.
"What's the matter, Digby?"
"A woman came along and got me Ia
hold her baby for minute, and just
see how the little wretch is squealing."
"Well, you're in fix. The woman
will never show up again."
eyes, she will. Pm married to her."
Chicago Record.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

What do you call this, my dear?"
asked the young husband, after tasting
the dessert which his wife had con-
structed with her own fair hands.
"That is angel food"
"If that is angel food" commented
the mean man, II do not want to 20 to
heaven" - Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
HARVEST EXCURSIONS TO sRNAr

ESI.
On August 18th, September list, 10th,
Goth and October 9Th and goth tho
Santa Fe route will run q series OF
cheap Homeseekers' Excursions to
points in Central and Western Kansas,
Oklahoma, Indian Territory, Texas,
Western Colorado, Utah and Arizona
The ticket rate will be one fare for the
round trip, plus $500, with liberal
limits and stop-over privileges. These
Santa Fe route excursions will enable
you to take fall outing and see q
country where the biggest crops Of q
decade are being harvested.
For particulars address Geo. w.
Hagenbuch, P. & L. A. Santa Fe route
Kansas City, Mo.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

"The difference between horse and
u wheel is that you always have the
latter under perfect control"
Indeed! I guess you've never been
thrown by your bike. "-Philadelphia
North American.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Untitled.

"a great, big, overgrown fellow like
you ought to be at work instead of beg
ging," said the censorious citizen.
I'm willin' to work." replied Dismal
Dawson, "but I'm too blamed clumsy.
I've tried the shells and I've tried
three-card monte, but the rubes got
onto me the very first time. Indiana
polls Journal.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
EXPLANATION Needed.

Mr.. Dinwiddie (quoting)-Blood IA
thicker than water.
Mr.. Shingiss-Do you mean filtered
water or Allegheny river water?-Pitts-
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Mrs. Jackson-Whar's youah son
Nose now?
Mrs. Johnson-Takin' de gold cure,
Mrs. Jackson-At White Plains-for
drunkenness?
Mrs. Johnson-No; at Sing Sing-foi
swipin' gold watches.-Puck.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

"Do you know, young man." said the
colporteur, that you are on the road
to perdition?"
Il don't know, uncle" replied the
scotting youth. IF I am, how does it
happen that l meet your"
Because l am going in the opposite
direction" rejoined the other.-Chicago
Record.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Decadent Mother II. 4,

Decadent Mother II.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog some food;
And when she got there
The cupboard was bare
A study, as 'twere, in the nude.
Detroit Tribune
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
A Boys Lung Capacity.

Henry" said Mrs. Woodle, II hear
Willie's voice. Won't you step to the
door and tell him that want him."
But Willie was two miles away dis
putting point with the umpire.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Tho Cheap Kind.

Mrs. Housewife-Haven't you any
cheaper flannel than this? l want it
for a bathing suit.
Olerk-Yes, madam, but it's Of the 16
to quality.
what quality is that?"
"Liable to shrink AZ per cent the first
time it is wet."-Buffalo Express.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
THE JOKER'S CORNER.
WIT, HUMOR AND SATIRE ORIo-
INAL AND sELECTED.
Abe village Gossip - Why Her Papa
Doesn't Object to Her Latest Fad
Worst Kind of Case - A Boy's
Lung Capacity.

HY, Susan Smith,
how you go on! l
just told Martha
Brown
thought you was
the queerest lit
tie woman in the
town.
You scrape an pol
ish, sweep an
dust, an wash an
cook an stew
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Defined.

Mamma" inquired the Inquisitive
Kid. what is halfbreed?"
81 think, my child" replied Mrs
Newrocks, that the term is applied to
persons whose training in department
has been partially neglected. Buffalo
Express
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Friends at Court.

Cant tell anything about the case
yet" said the lawyer, 1.-THE jury II
hung"
"Jerusalem! exclaimed the prisoner,
that does beat all! But I knowed my
friends 'ud lynch 'em eff they got a
chance at 'em!'-Atlanta Constitution.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

For very joy the song birds sing
The lark, the thrush, the linnet;
But modern poets chortle for
The ducats there are in it.
Buffalo ExpresR
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Delft center-pieces filled with ferns
are most delightful addition, to the
table.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Just try 10c box of Cascarets the fin est
liver and bowel regulator ever made.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09
Ita Own Reward.

Don't you know, WILLIE" asked the
sunday-school teacher, chat you are
always happiest when you are good?"
"Yes'm," said Willie, I'm never so
happy as when I'm good, 'ceptin' when
I'm atiu'."-Chicago Record.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

AS soon as woman fails to take in
terest in dress she is either failing in
health or disappointed IN love.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

II the powder holds out John Bull
may decide to continue his march Of
civilization" from Dongola to Cape
Town.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-10-09

Japan seems to be as much of spe-
cialist on earthquakes as is South
America on revolutions or France on
crises.