Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-07
What Philosopher DooIey SAYS

What Philosopher DOOIey says.
From the Chicago Post.
''Whia in col spell comes along about
Chris mas time" said Mr.. HenneSsy, open
ing the stove door and lighting u small.
piece Of paper which he conveyed 10 the
bowl OF his pipe with much dexterity jusc
SHARING the last flicker With his first
-CISy inhalation when III COT weather
comes on I wish thin GrOgans down in III
a-ley'd move out l have no peace al al
Win III OF woman She has me r-ruEriC'
IL night an day with a pound Of tay or
l flannel shirt or a this-or-that-or-th'-
other thing. an 'tis on'y two weeks ago.
v hin n weather was warrum. she tor
NE Mrs Grogau was as onsratefu, as =
COW an sTelled so iv sin ye cud have III
Geleeryum Jhremens il yet sat with her
f'r an hour
What ye shud do" said Mr. Dooley. ''IS
to get ye'er wife 10 Join an organized
charity TIL throuble with her Is size
gives 10 unworthy people an in = haphaz-
ard way that tIndS TO make paUpSrS. II
they'se anything will make a person on
grateful an Gepin5ent its TO give them
something to eat whin they're hungry
without KNOWN whether they are desary-
in iv III delicate attintiou- \ man, or Il
woman ayether, has 20 have what We may
call peculiar qualifications f'r 10 gain tn
lump iv coal or tn pound iv steak that an
organized charity gives out. He must Ice
honest an sober an Industrious. He must
have a frind in III organization. He must
have armed tn right 10 beg his bread be
tn sweat iv his brow. He must be able
to ComDort himself like a Eintleman in
fair society an play a good hand at whist.
Ee must have a marriage license over tn
piarny an a SOold-edCed Bible on tn mar
bic topped table. \ pauper that wud dis
believe there was God afther thramPin'
IN s;hreets in search iv food an calmin'
an unreasonable stomach with tn east
wind is no object iv charity. What he
needs is tn attintion iv a polisman. Tvs
after Wondered why a man that was fit
ID dhraw q ton " slate coal an a COB iv
liver fr' m tn relief an aid society didn't
apply f'r 4 cabinet position OF a place
in q bank. He'd be sthrong fr ayether.
I mind wanst there woman lived
down near Main Sthreet be tn name iv
Clancy. Mother Clancy III kids called her.
She come firm off 10 tn wiSt. a Galway
woman firm bechune mountain an sea Ys
know what they ar-re whin they re black,
an she was worse an blaCker. She was
tall an thin. with a face white tn way a
corpse is white. an she had wan child. q
lame la-ad that used to play he himsilf in
tn Sthreet, tn lawn bein' limited. I niver
heerd tell iv her havin' a husband, poor
thing, an what she'd need wan fr, but
to dhrag out her misery f'r her in tn gray
year Sivinty-four I couldn't say. She talk
ed to hersilf in Gaelic whin she walked an
twas Gaelic she an III kid used whin they
wint out together. TIL kids thought she
was a witch an broke tn windows iv her
house an ivry wan was afraid iv her but
tn little priest. He shook his head whin
she was mintioned an wint 10 see her
wanst in awhile an come away with =
throubled face.
'rSivinty-four was a hard winter rr tn
r-road- TIL mills was shut down an ys
cudve stood half tn population " some "
in but five days notices out iv them Th'
nights came cold, an bechune relievin tn
sick an givin' eNt-emunctfon to tn dyin'
an cOmfortin' tn widows an orphans tn
little priest was sore pressed firm weeks
end to weeks end. They was smallpox in
wan part iv tn wa-ard an dipbtheria in
another an bschune tn two there was
starvation an cold an not enough blankets
on tn beds.
''Th' Galway woman was tn las to COM
plain How she iver stud it as hong as she
Gid 1 lave f'r others TO say. Annyhow
wlIin she come down to Halsted sthreet to
make application fr help to tn Society fr
tn Relief iv tn Desarviu' Poor she looked
tin feet tall am all white cheekbones an
burnin' black eyes 1t took her 4 long
time to make up her mind to go in, but
she done it an stepped up to where tn resi-
estate man. Dougherty. cheerman iv tn
comfy, was standin' with his back TO tn
stove and his hands uniher his coat tails.
They was those that said Dougherty was
a big hear-rte1 man an give freely to tn
poor, but I'd rather take Rough on Rats
fr you, Hinnissy, thin sponge cake firm
him or tn likes fv him. He looked at her.
finished a discoorse on tn folly iv givin'
to persons with a bad moral chaTackter an
thin turned suddenly an said: What can
We do fr ye? She told him in her own
way. Well. me good woman says he,
ven understand that tn comfy Is much
beSieged be tn tmporchunities iv tn poor
he says. an were obliged to limit our
aims to thin that deserves thjm.' he says.
We can't do anything fr ye on ye're own
say 50, but we'll sind man to investigate
ye're case. an he says, If tn Rapport
on yer moral CharaCkter is satisfactorily
he says 'well atrind to ye.'
II dinnEw what it was. but en- Tnatther
popped out iv DouSherty's head an naye-
ther that day nor tn next nor tn mex
afther that was anything done f'r tn
Galway woman. I'll say this fr Dough-
erty that whin tn thing come back to his
mind again he put on his coat an hur-
ried over to Main sthreet- There was a.
wagon in tn sthreet, but Dougherty took
no notice iv 1t. He walked up AM raped
on tn dure, an tn little priest stepped
r1rt tn breast iv his overcoat bulgiH'.
why father he says, 'ar-re ye here? L
itrS' come FIR to sec Peace said tn
little priest. closin' tn d1Ire behind him an
takin' DOugherty be tn arm. We were
both late But twas not till they got to
tn foot iv tn stairs that Dougherty 10
tfcef that tn wagon come firm tn county
undertaken an that twas tn chalice made
tn little priests coat TO bulge"