The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1896-08-11
BOWsER's WATERLOO
ROUTED IN HIS ATTACK ON THE
SPELLING OF WOMAN.

MRS Bowser," began Mr.. Bowse
the other evening as he laid aside hi
paper, will you take this pencil and d
little writing for me?"
"Of course, DEAR" she replied
"What do you want me to writer"
II wish you to write down about I
dozen words az give them to you. TIL
first word is 'illegaiity.
Eyes"
"Then ACCESSIBILITY and 'consan
guinity.'"
''What use are you going to make O.
them?'
I'm just trying little experiment
Now you may put down 'desideratuln
and 'multitudlnous. y"
What is the experiment." asked
Mrs Bowser
why, was just reading in the pa
per that not one woman ont Of so, nj
matter how we'll educated, was thor.
oughly up on photography. An edito,
says that out Of $50 communications
sent in by females an average of One
word cut Of every ten was misspelled. "
"But men spell every word correctly,
l suppose?" sarcastically queried Mrs.
Bowser.
They do. 1t seems to come perfectly
natural to them. 1t isn't woman Is
fault, perhaps 1t may be that nature
meant it that way. Now you can put
down the word 'destructibility.'"
Pm not putting down any more
Words" she said as she laid down the
pencil.
"Ohi Got mad, Ell? That's the way
with woman. If some one said she
couldn't play OH jews harp as we'll as
n man, she'd get her nose up about it. -
II can spell as well as you can, Mr..
Bowser, and even better. Whoever
wrote about that little experiment told
q falsehood.
There you gol That's egotism and
mulishness combined. Didn't explain
that nature never intended woman to
spell half her words right? If she
didn't, then what's the use of getting
mad about it? OF the four words you
wrote down you spelled half of one of
them correctly, and you ought to be
proud Of it.
II spelled every one of them correct
ly," she insisted.
Mrs. Bowscr, don tset your jaw that
way when you are addressing mel am
speaking to you more in sorrow than in
anger If you can't spell, why, thon"-
when did you become such great
spcller?''
"Orthosraphy came natural to me,
Mrs. Bowscr-perfectly natural. was
spelling words rcd long before was
seven years old.
"0h, iuaGGedl It's funny how many
mistakes YOU made INSTRUMENTATION
VIC were engaged, for instance.
"NIistakes in spelling? Be careful,
Mrs. Bowscrl Don't let your anger lead
you to prevaricatc. l think I wrote you
two or three little notes while we were
engaged, and I'll bet a million dollars
to a cent that every word was correctly
spelled"
"You wrote me about 400 love let
tors, and I've got every one up stairs,
and Jou made scores Of mistakes.
"Woman,' said Mr. Rowser as he
rose up and glowered at her, II pity
you! When a person is driven to pre-
varication and perjury in order to carry
point it is II sad, solemn thing. If
had
She ran up stairs, and in the course
of three or four minutes returned with
a great package Of letters in her hand
and said:
Hero are about 80 Of the bushcl of
letters you wrote he. We will now SEQ
about the spelling You acknowledge
your handwriting, don't you?'
II acknowledge nothing, Mrs. Bow
nothing! They may be
letters OF mine, Or they may be base
forscries :"
They arc your letters, of course.
Here is one in which you speak of an
azure sunset and an affinity CT souls.
You spell it ASSURE and 'aiincty.'"
'Ncycr--never on the face of this
earth"
but see--thcre are tho words. Here
is another in which You lay your heart !
nc my feet, and you have spelled it |
hart"
Il deny it," shouted Mr. Bowser as
his face got red and his hair began to
curl. I'm the first place, l wasn't dom
key enough to write any such balder-
lash, and in the next any fool knows
enough to spell heart Lay my heart at
our feet-humph!'
well, the words arc here just as
Tou wrote 'em, and have marked each
nc. In this third letter you say that
life would be one never ending mid
light without me, and you have spelled
t 'n-i.t-e.'"
"What! What Iwrote such stuff as
hat? Mrs. Bowser. beware how you
presume on my good nature and your
position as my wife! l pronounce each
md every letter i'll that package base
A never ending midnight with.
ut you-boshW
And this fourth letter." she contin-
led without needing him, lis q 6 page
etter you wrote me one rainy Sunday.
,ou speak Of the sobbing raindrops,
nd you spell sobbing with one b.. You
peak Of my charming face and spell it
Nth two ms. You refer to the future
nd spell the word 'f.u-c-h-e-r.' You
peak
Mrs Bowser, do you know who I
m?" he demanded as he pointed his
niger at her.
Certainly. You were wretched, you
nd, and you"-
"You talk that way to me. do you'll
ecause you can't spell one word in
,ousand correctly you-you"-
II show that you are just as bad, Mr..
owser. You see"-
YES see! I understand I know
'actly where the forgery, the prevari.
'tien and the perjury come in. I was
'epared to pass pleasant evening at
y own Preside. In order to heighten
al T