Griggs courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., Dak. [N.D.]) 1885-1902, 1896-03-13

run with the preachers who runs with
the political gang
II used to be Jim Dandy Democrat;
carried torches, onrned my hands, went
home drunk, aud was a good one."
Political orators tell how all man
arc created equal. God didn't create
them equal any more than he did the
horses, and if yon think he created
horses equal, just hitch up the cid nag,
Bud, and trot him a heat against Nancy
Hanks. They say the poor are growing
poorer and the rich richer. That's half
liz and half truth, and a half truth is
like half brick-only good to knock v
fool down with. There is no such thing
as class legislation. Show me one
clause Of it and you may use my head
for foot ball.
"Populists are tho most down trod-
den people IN the world. The weeds
get his crops, the buzzards get his
horses and the sheriff gets him.
II know \ lawyer that makes $50 OeO
a year, and there's little pettifogger
who can't pay his board. Here's doc
tor that has princely income; there's
a little quack that don't earn his salt
Here's girl with twenty beaux; there's
one who never had a fellow. Is it class
legislatiens The trouble is in your nog.
gin. Bud. Did you ever have il exam.
ined?
''rhis is the grandest country on ths
face Of the earth for poor man. A. Il.
Stewart taught school ut 81. Cornelius
Vanderbilt didn't have two shirts when
he started his ferry. jay Gould ped.
died rat traps in New York. Elihu
Bnrritt's wife taught him his letters
after he was married. Leland Stan
ford's father set him adrift without q
cent ut 10. Carnegie worked in Pitts
burg at 81 a day yso years ago. Abraham
Lincoln mauled rails on an Illinsis
farm. This country is all right If you
want to be Il man; il you don't you can
find lots of company
IF there is crowd on earth am
sorry for it's the preachers. I used TO
run Il saw mill, and once q man asked
me for a job of hauling logs. His team
was composed of q mule, u goat. ber
and skunk-a kicker, a butter, q
stinger, a stinker. Every preach .r has
a team of this kind in his church He
may succeed III getting his load to
heaven but he will never get his team
in.
II like live people; the fellow that's
got the go in him. The preacher shonld
run mile while the devil is putting on
his boots. The Methodist brother
breaches on infant baptism, while all
the babes are asleep; the Episcopal on
apostolic succession, while the Baptists
are hollering water and nine. .tenths Of
them are going where there will never
be drop.
"If all the church members get to
heaven you want to sleep with your
breeches under your head. You old
sinners back there needn't grin; they
are way ahead Of you.
"a man cLme home once and heard
his two children qusrreling. He asked
what they we're fighting about, and
they replied that they we're just playing
papa and mamma. Don't fuss with =
woman; II you want to fuss 60 down
town and run up against man
There's woman back there nudging
her old man. Some Of you fellows are
glad your wives aren't here tonight.
II don't like these butterfly girls. I
have seen woman Of sixty doing all
the work while her four daughters did
nothing. They aren't worth killing. ]
love fast horse, but, Lord, give mo q
slow girl. Purity and modesty are the
two main features for girl. I see
statuary and living pictures. They are
all modelled after girls. They don't
make mems pictures like that, and am
glad of it. How would I look with a
decollete shirt and vest on. couldn't
talk religion to a girl in one Of those
costumes; might talk politics to her.
''If you love your wife tell the old
thing so. Put your arms around her
and tell her she is the sweetest thing on
earth. You may have to lie, but it
will do her good. An acquaintance of
mine took friend home to dinner
Afterwards while he was commenting
ON his wife's looks told the friend that