davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-02-15
Easily Arranged.

They are telling the story in Lonhor
that the impossible American in Paris
.alighted at a hotel, to find it absolutely
full.
Il have nothing" eXpostula.ed the
host, almost tearfully, nothing. The
first floor is taken by the queen of the
yOstenders, the queen of Montegaria oc-
cupies the second. the duke of Cotton
,opoIis is sharing the third floor with
the caliph of Port Said and the crown
prince of Nova Esperanza is sleeping
on the billiard table. As for myself.
I have to make up a bed in the Office.
and there only remains the chamber of
my daughter. Of course"
is that your daughter?" interrupt
cd the American, pointing to the young
lady at the desk.
Yes, sir"
"All right; I'll marry her after
lunch" And, giving his valise to the
speeches. Boniface, he added: Now,
you take my baggage up TO our room"
N. Y. Recorder.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-02-15

.&Mf%)
@%>%:;;
MNN' y: MS 81 ! =: :: e e:
grown
4 Since on q Cupid's
u day, love, my heart
to you was shown
Il happened In this way love. as o re-
{ wrote a tender lay. love. and sent It
stIaight to you
It was a valentine. love. In which I truly
said
Unless you would bs mine. love. Iwould.
ANS, be dead
{ praised in every line. love. your sweet
and perfect ways.
And placed you in my shrine, love, to wor-
ship all m days
I said that roses red. love, were In your
cheeks a-bloom;
Your Eyes were stars, I said. love; your
breath a sweet perfume
Your voice was music rare. love; your
49,
And that your wealth of hai-, love. like
golden sunshine shone.
I promised to be true. love. and ever to
AL this I said to you. love. in happy days
of yore.
And now. though years have flown, love.
or hears are still as young
AZ when at Cupid's throne, love, oar fret
gitd n were sung.
That valentine Of yore. love. I now repeat
T. day
With praises even more. love. than whenI
wtote the lay.
I thought I loved you then. love; l know I
love o now;
To you I kneel again. love, and greater
love avow.
You're learer every way. love. more beau
tiSIl and sweet
Than when that Cupid's day, love. allowed
me to entreat-
I've fond you are divine, love, you purity
and worth
Have made this home Of nine, love, a
raven On the earth.
So place this valentine. love, beside the one
of yore,
And tel! me you are mine. love, as sweet
~ as before.
You are my sweetheart yet. love. and our
true love an 1,
And W. will not forget, love. to be 60 till
We die.
H. C. Dodge. in Chicago SUI
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-02-15

Their Cholce.-"How does Winters
manage to keep the wolf from the
~door?" He doesn't. He gave violin
lessons, but his family said they pre-
-ferred the wclf."-Detroit Free P esa
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-02-15

HEN my dear Aunt
Maud died - she
died the very sum-
mer l graduated
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

failed packed their grips at once and
started homeward. Few were sorry at
leaving, but hated to admit having failed
in the mental lex"
1.-THE names have Just read" said the
officer, taking off his eyeglasses and wiping
them slowly, as if to punctuate his words,
"are the names of those who have been
found deficient in the required branches. :"
When the time arrived for my physical
examination I marched boldly in. 1t
wasn't two minutes until / saw my fate,
"W eighed in the balance and found want
ing" written upon the wall as plainly as
did the trembling and terror-stricken Bel
shazzar. l was few pounds under the
weight required for my height and chest
development. The causes of this were
plain. For six days had iourneyed across
the country, had drunk different kind of
water in every State, had lost my appetite
almost completely, had worried through a
three and half days tex" in a most sui
try climate had undergone the hellish
experience of being shaved by 6end-
ish Highland Falls barber, and had been
hazed every day l was under the cadets
tender mercies.
1t shames me not to confess that my
heart was as light as my weight when
started for home, parents and friends.
FRANK L. PERKINS.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

the legs soon ache so acutely that lifting
the foot from the floor causes one poignant
misery.
The next day l got taste of it myself.
It was caused by my own superabundant
spirits, but felt none the better for all that
About 2 clock in the morning candi-
date quartered in Halls room-he came
from Ohio and I believe his name was
Latimer-and another chap stole from
their beds at preconcerted signal and
stood directly over the stair opening.
Drawing deep breaths one of them gave a
first-class imitation of the midnight war
bling so frequently INDUCED in by the
common domestic cat, which the other
followed up with a series of Comanche
warwhoops and q clog dance. His feet
were shod for the occasion with Ashley's
number mines. Then the two skurried
back to bed and in ten seconds were ap-
parently sleeping the sleep OF the just.
Up the stairs bounded four or five cadets
and at each door furiously demanded
information as to the identity of the
malefaotors. OF course, nobody knew
anything about it. One of the cadets had
to shake me violently to awaken me from
my siumber. knew no more about it
when awakened than the rest. All in the
vicinity were ordered to report to Lieuten-
ant Smithers. a chap from Indian Terri
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

in providing few changes of water. to
make out fairly well. / was afterward
informed on reliable authority that this
enterprising person, on learning that had
come from California, had run all the
water / used in bathing through sieve IN
search of gold dust.
The next day several 'busloads Of can
didates left Highland Falls for West
Point. On the way there was deal of
conversation anent the coming examlna-
ton and the felicities of West Point exist
ence. picked up several pointers" DUR
ing that short journey. One was that in
this land OF civilization the rules laid
down by Lindley Murray are in most cases
outlawed. modern school now holds
sway, of which "Chimmie Fadden" may
be mentioned as member in good
standing. Another thing / learned
was, that the ambition to enter
West Point does not always origi-
nate in the desire to emulate the great
American generals in military prowess.
That notion is behind the times.
1t is said to be the ambition
of every neiress and society girl
in that region to keep company with a
cadet. Naturally this often leads to re-
tirement from the army upon graduation
from the academy and union with
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

was found absolutely necessary to place
him at another table.
1t might be mentioned here that the lot
OF colored boy admitted to the academy
falls in stony places. He is not even con-
sidered of enough Importance to haze, but
is left entirely to himself, with no COM
panions but his own thoughts. In course
of time the inevitable result is a resigna-
ton.
There IS another strange fact in connec-
ton with the mess hall deserving of Incl
dental mention. The room is entirely en-
clrcled by row of life-sized portraits OF
the famous Union generals of the Civil
War On entering the hall nothing is seen
but blue uniforms. Turning round and
looking toward the door there appears one
solitary form in gray. That martial
figure and venerable face cannot be mis-
taKen-it is the likeness of "Stonewalr"
Jackson.
There he stands in all his glory, in the
same attitude-one might imagine-as at
the famous battle where he gained his
nickname. His picture is the clasp that
connects the ends of the belt of paintings
encircling the room.
To take up the thread OF the narrative,
after the candidates had breakfasted they
were marched back to the squad" and dis
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

tory, next morning between breakfast and
the forenoon examination.
Everybody did as ordered. After much
questioning Latimer and 1 were detained
He was shortly afterward dismissed. 1
was commanded to stand erect and gaze
fxedly at live butterfly pinned to the
wall, on level with my eyes. They wan
dered TO Smithers' face once, but upon the
stern demand to "turn those shiny orbs off
me-" again sought the poor butterfly.
Then ensued this colloquy:
'tMr. Perkins, you are from California,
are you not?"
Eyes, sir"
Ibid you learn that war-whoop from
the IndiansP'
"No, sir.''
81 come from an Indian country N.Y.
self, Mr.. Perkins, and as an imitstor of
the classical Indian tongue 1 pronounce
you bowling success. What made you
| do it?"
81 didn't do it. SIR"
NO" sarcastically, ',you didn't even
hear it, did your
'No. sir.''
isn't it strange that you could lie
within few feet of that cyclonic disturb
ance and not be awakened by it, when it
walked everybody in the lower rooms, sir?"
81 was always very sound sleeper,
SIR"
"Well, we will wake you now, so you
won't sleep for a month. Get out there,
and double quickstep. That's right; lit
tie faster now. Oh, you are doing IA
mously."
When began to experience muscular
pain the quick stepping involuntarily
slowed down. l was reminded of the
fact that Smithers was in the vicinity by
feeling pin puncture my flesh. This was
the straw that broke the camel's back.
Maddened beyond endurance 1 grabbed
chair and rushed at him. The blow was
gAncing and did no harm and in trice
we were mixing things up in very lively
fashion. Several cadets heard the racket
and came rushing in. / was promptly
collared, dragged forth under hydrant
and soaked to the skin in jiffy.
Your temperament is too warm, young
fellow said a worthy named Oakes, tan
taIizingly. This will drive the hectic
flush from your brow
After this fiasco | was suffered to go to
nv room without any further questioning.
The language 1 used when l got there has
largely come into vogue since the Scrip
lures were penned.
That afternoon we were all lined up in
the quadrangle, and one of the higher
officers in command of the academy read
off long list of names, each boy being
required to step forward as his name was
pronounced. was not among the num-
Der, and my heart sank within me. How
ever much my ardor to enter the Point
may have been cooled by my experiences,
1 didn't care to fall out on the mental ex-
animation. But the mental tension was
soon relieved.
There were many sore and disappointed
candidates standing there at the conclu-
sion of that brief sentence, one may be sure.
A few words of instruction as to the ply
steal examination were Immediately given,
and the line disbanded. Those who had
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

! wealth and beauty. Many of the boys, 1
am happy to state, are imbued with
more laudable aspiration. 1t is merely to
acquire an excellent education and then
resign.
When the crowd reached the Point
everybody registered, giving age, birth
place, place of residence and name of the
Congressman who appointed him. 1t was
also necessary to file the certificate of APP
pointment.
Then we were placed under the
| charge of the cadet officers, who took
as IN a body to the commissary's quarters
and had US procure blankets, sheets, pill
lows, bowl and pitcher for water and
few other articles necessary for existence
during the examination to follow. Then
we were marched back to the barracks
and placed three in room
One of the three was appointed orderly,
who was responsible for the condition in
| which the room was Kept and for himself
and the other two being in bed promptly
at 10 o'clock. At exactly 5:25 A. NJ. reveille
was sounded in the quadrangle, and then
began fight against time. Every one was
expected to get into his clothes, down two
or three flights of stairs and into line ID
the quad by $50 o'clock. If a man were
a moment late, one of the cadets would
run at him as he lined up as if he were
going to rush right over him, stopping
with his face within a few inches of the
candidates" countenance.
| Don't you know better than to get into
line late, Mister?" he would bawl. "Wait
till you get in here and we'll take that
slowness out of you"
IF ha ho
line, grasping each one by the shoulders
and drawing them back.
Throw out your chins," be would howl,
land gaze straight ahead"
If anybody laughed at any of these gen.
tlemen's antics or even smiled. the cadet
who observed il would rush up to him and
yell: "Wipe that smile off your face,
Mister. Don't let me catch you at that
again"
At o'clock everybody was marched to
the mess hall. The candidates had one
side of the immense building to them
selves and the cadets the other. If a cadet
caught one of the newcomers gazing at
him he would at once yell to him to turn
those shiny orbs off me- and in case of
disobedience would rise and pound the
table with his knife.
| one Swapping 1elloW from 1dano named
Roberts once persisted in gazing at a
cadet despite these demonstrations and
had the whole room in an uproar. Every
cadet in the hall rose to his feet, stamped
the foo~ and pounded the tabi1 with a
knife. Roberts calmly sat there. tilted
back in his chair, and never took his eyes
off the cadet once. They finally quoted
down, murmuring that when he was ad-
mitted they would make life sore for him.
Their veracity remains unquestioned.
Another riot was precipitated by seat
| ing two colored candidates at the same
table with one Dawson of Mary land. He
fatty refused to acquiesce in this arrange
ment, and made scene by getting up
and attempting to leave the hall, bat was
seized and brought back after a furious
| struggle. In the interest of harmony it
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

"All in, SIR" The first night he made the
egregious blunder of replying. "Al right,
SIR
He never made the same mistake again.
Into the room came the cadet with one
great bound.
"Don't you dare to tell me it is all right,
Mister" he roared; certainly it's all right
or shouldn't have asked you. In the
future you answer All in, SIR
That boy Ashley was perfect genius
for doing things wrongly. The second
night he fell asleep before 10 o'clock, and
when the cadet got no answer to his query
ne woke the whole building. Ashley
thought the barracks were on fire, jumped
out of bed and made a rush for the door
way with yell of terror. Then there
came a terrific smash, a heavy thud as of
some weighty body striking the floor, and
the next instant Ashley and the cadet
were having a rough-and-tumble fight on
the floor. When both had had time to re-
gain their senses they separated. The
invectiye heaped upon Ashley by that ca
det would have made Henry Grattan turn
an emerald hue with envy.
This cadets name was Cheney. He was
proud not only of his name but of his
handsome person as well. The third
night he fell from his lofty position as
chief dude and invective-slinger with a
dull, sickening thud.''
Among the candidates was large, pow
erful fellow of the name of Hall. Now,
Hall was morally certain that he would
not pass his s'exes," so was in a fit
frame OF mind to resent any bullying.
When Cheney stuck his head through the
doorway at 10 o'clock and called out "An
in?" Hall, who was acting as orderly,
made some surly remark in answer.
Cheney bounced in to reprimand him,
but had hardly opened his mouth when
he was seized by the muscular candidate,
carried into the hallway and pitched half
way down the stairs. That one of his
limbs was not broken is a miracle He
made his exit without visiting any OF the
other rooms.
The same night everybody was in a
state OF intense excitement. cadet
named Connor, the gentleman with the
propensities to exhibit violent rage when
none existed, and candidate from idaho,
Roberts by name, had had row during
the day over some insult offered by Con-
nor, and it was rumored that the affair
was W De seItISO uuIluS Tue HlRuG Win
rapiers.
All the boys were fitting about up and
down the hallway in their night garments,
peering expectantly from the windows
every time group of the cadets was no
ticed in the quad The latter learned
this in some way and captured young
fellow named Klein, from Indiana, while
he was stealing through the hall. He was
taken downstairs to the cadets quarters
and double-quickstepped until he tainted.
For the benefit of those who have never
experienced the delightsof double-quick-
| stepping, it may be explained as follows:
The person chosen as the victim is made
to stand erect, his shoulders thrown back
and his chin elevated. Then he must lift
one knee as high as possible, drop it and
raise the other. When forced to execute
these movements rapidly the muscles of
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-07-19

of Sleepy follow Surely / shall see
here the very essence of civilization and
/ refinement. Ny eyes are now going to be-
hold man in the forefront of progress, and
my ears hear the polished phrase of Lind
| ley Murray"
An exclamation from passenger reused
me from my reverie. Involuntary my
eyes sought the window. They rested on
a scene the memory of which will abide
with me for many, many years. For a
moment / was dazed. Rubbing my eyes
to clear their vision 1 looked again.
Yes, it was so. There could be no doubt
that l was viewing cornfield. The stalks
with their pendent green leaves were
lightly swaying to and fro in the breeze.
The sight of cornfield was nothing new
to me. 1 had seen many before.
On the edge of that cornfield stood a
woman. was sure of that, too. When it
comes to recognizing a woman 1 am more
expert than in the case of cornfelds.
The strange thing in connection with
the incident, however, was the woman's
garb and occupation. Her head was
crowned with a very broad-brimmed
straw hat, her dress was tucked up nearly
to the knees and her bare feet and ankles
were tanned by exposure to the elements.
II her hands was a large hoe, with which
she was industriously turning the sod.
Ny ideas OF the acme of civilization, ]
plainly saw, had hitherto been sadly crude
and distorted.
On the evening of June II / reached
West Point, but had to go to Highland
Falls about one and half miles further
down the Hudson, to fnd board anC
lodging. The accommodations there wer,
different from what l expected. Thu
price exacted for them also failed to har
monte with my ideas on the subject.
Tired and dusty from the long trip,
bath was the first thought that entered nay
mind. This desire was at once communi
Gated to my hostess. Evidently she wa
not prepared to hear so strange a request
where did you come from?" she que
ried.
California" was the laconic answer.
Goodness gracious. Here, James lad
dressing the only servant the place af
forded), see that this gentleman is pro
vided Immediately with an opportunit,
for bathing"
James looked slightly dubious, but lik
the dutiful little man he was, set forth t,
obey orders. In about fifteen minutes b.
summoned me into a gymnasium at
tached to the building and. telling M
everything was ready, departed.
An inventory OF my surroundings dis
closed the following: In the center of TIT
room was a small zinc tub about ~ fee
in diameter, the kind we uncivilized Cali
fornians use for washing handkerchiefs in
IT was half filled with cold water. On
bench near by was a bar of CASTLE soal
and two enormous towels.
By this time it was plain to me that
was not in touch with the age-that l wal
born few hundred years too late. Blu
even yet am inclined to think it would
have been charitable act III James tt
have left me written instructions how tt
proceed with the bath.
However, managed in the course of al
hour and half, with James cooperation
The record-union., 1896-12-07

abuse reflects upon our entire system
OF law and breeds, nay has bred, the
dangerous belief that might is right.
II am very, very far from saying our
whole judicial system Is corrupt, but I
do say the scent of corruption is so gem
eral and so palpable as to induce in those
many who leap from insufficient prem
fses to unwarranted conclusions, the be-
lief that such is indeed the case, and
that, while theoretically there is in this
country such a thing as equality before
the law, practically there is no such
thing as equality behind the law, for the
power behind many Of the judgment
seats of to-day the power behind many
the power behind many seats in our
Congress and our Senate, is the power
Of money unrighteously amassed and
criminally expended.
Every thinking man must know this
is far too often the case. He must know
that money, when it can not control
Legislatures can generally controi
courts or juries under our present sys-
tenn. He must know that our present
political system is corrupt, root and
branch, and that its officials who are
known to be irreproachable and unap-
proachable, who are above all self-in-
terest. appear to be in the minority.
Under such conditions, when the law no
longer serves the purposes for which it
was designed, how long can we expect
reverence for its authority? And IL
there come to be scant reverence for the
highest authority how can we expect
reverence for any lower or lesser au-
thority? I say that what we may ex-
pect if the present conditions continue
is eventual social cataclysm."
The record-union., 1896-12-07
THE CHARITY BALL.
1t Promises to be Pleasant and Suc-
CeSSfuI Affair.

To-day the final preparations for the
great charity ball and concert to be
given at the Capitol on Wednesday
evening of this week will begin in earn
est
The arrangements for the floor are
entirely in the hands of George H.
Clark, who will tomorrow announce
his various committees. Guests will
enter the Capitol at the door facing
M street; all other entrances will be
closed. Tickets must be shown at the
M-street entrance and surrendered at
the head Of either stairway. Ushers
will be at hand to direct the guests
to the dancing rooms and cloakrooms.
No charge will be made for the care
Of hats, coats, wraps, etc. The price
of the ticket includes everything.
The Executive Committee has decid-
ed to dispense with the expense and
annoyance of a supper, and it is be-
lieved this will meet with general ap-
proval. No one will starve, and it will
be easily possible for those who crave
more solid refreshnent than that pro-
vided gratis by the committee to re-
pair to to their homes or to some
neighboring cafe, returning later to the
Capitol.
The decorations will be arranged un-
der the supervision Of Mrs. Frank H.
Pierce, assisted by a number of ladies.
The Berkeley Glee Club will arrive on
Wednesday by the morning train, and
thus the evenings pleasure can begin
promptly at the hour announced.
There is already large demand for
tickets, several Of the patronesses hav-
ing already placed all at their disposal.
In some quarters it Is thought the price
of the tickets has been placed too low.
The object of the Executive Commit
tee, however, has been to place the
price within reach Of all citizens who
would like to attend the ball, and by
their attendance aid the worthy cause
of charity in Sacramento.
The committee, therefore, has held to
its first decision and maintained the
price Of the tickets at So for a lady and
gentleman, and 81 for gentleman and
two ladies. These tickets can be had
only from the patronesses, members Of
the committee and Floor Manager
George Clark The tickets, Of course,
admit holders to the concert and ball.
The programme of the concert will be
announced tomorrow or the day after.
1t is safe to say it will be most at
tractive one.
Street cars will run regularly until
the close Of the ball. so that there need
be no expense for carriages unless by
those who desire to be very exclusive,
indeed. The whole affair will be made
as informal as possible, and, for that,
all the more enjoyable.
The record-union., 1896-12-07

MRS. F. T. VAN FLEET, TEACHER OF
piano. Residence 2O15 L street.
The record-union., 1896-12-07

ALL ART METAL GOODS REFINIsHEn
equal to new at Veach's. 4O7 street.
DAFT
The record-union., 1896-12-07

THE BEST is THE CHEAPEST-How-
ara Son Keep the very best Of every
coffee and teas ever imported on this
coast. 42I K street. Telephone. sri
black
The record-union., 1896-12-07
L0ST-F0UND.

LOST-HALF GROWN MALE PUG DOG;
had on collar marked Duke, 929 K
street" Return to Central Stables, and
be rewarded d7-2t