The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-01-05
MANS AWFUL LOT.
This Seems to show How Close =
Watch is Kept on Lovers.

rms seems To snow How close =
Watch is Kept on Lovers.
Yes" said the society man, IT was
actually terrified as I heard EN- talk,
don't you know. 1t was in the alter
noon, and was the only man there.
There were five of us, taking tea. That
is, mean there were five of them. If
there had been another man wouldn't
have felt so much alarmed, but there
were five of them, and only one of me.
1T was dreadful, the exactness with
which they had got the thing figured
down-the day he proposed. the hour,
almost the very minute. 1t made me
feel shivery when L thought how many
times I had nearly proposed to a. girl,
but something always happened-eT,
fOrtunately-sOme other couple came
within hearing-oa' some poor mindless
Brownie ambled in and said, B'leeVe
this is our dance, Miss Blank and then
looked scared when Miss Blank glared
at him. On, L have had many a tight
squeak, but L ne YER knew how tight
till | saw the VIC men keep cases on a
couple, don't you know.
They paid nc attention to me-
sat with teacup ON my knees and en-
daavored to conc cal my horror by eat
ing a whole sta elk of Thin bread and
butter. Reminded me of d stack of
chips, don't you know. and L tried to
smile. Couldn't smile. The women ter
rified and fascinated me. There was q
fierce glitter in their eyes as they
talked, and they all talked together!
They talked about the engagement,
when he proposed to her, how he pro-
posed to her, which of them heard it
first how She heard of it, whom she
had told of it, when she had told of it,
and all that sort of thing, don't you
know.
''They all took a second cup of tea.
q did, tOO-a Ia ruSSe--One piece of su-
gar. one slice lemon, some rum, hot
water to taste; 10 tea at all: tea bad
for the nerves; rum all right. Great
snap) While they we're all pushing
their wells up over their noses Gust
drawn EN- down-giVe you my word
said they wouldn't take any more tea,
then did-curiOuS creatures, women,
what?-I thought would say something.
First chance / had. So / remarked
airily: Thought they looked rather de-
voted at Wallace ball Five heads
turned toward me and five women
snapped-yes, actually snapped: They
weren't engaged at all then But
said feebly, heard it at the tea on
Saturday, and the bail was only Thurs
day night. To say that those women
looked CDnISuIpIuOuS WOuEL1 [ DeSlQ 10
express it. 1 withered before their
glances. I shrunk- Then they started
in. They had got it down to the exact
day and hour; they said it was on Fri
day, and they even agreed on the hour:
but such was the whirl OF contending
tongues that [ didn't quite catch the
time One of them knew that some one
sent a, telephone to Mrs. DashIeigh at
sixtaen minutes past 4, but another one
knew that Miss Stanwell had heard it
at half-past 3.
Tell you what. old man. it made me
pensive. Never dreamed that the wo-
men kept such cases on a fellew Hard
enough to saw wood with one, en-
what2 But think of a whole battery Of
cool gray feminine eyes piping a fellow
when he is going to propose-or when
he thinks he is going to propose-or
when he isn't going to propose as the
case may bo- Just think of them hold
ing a spit-secOnd stOp-Watch on fell
low. 90 16-now they're Off Horrible.
amt it2 B-r-r-r-r-r-rl Gives me the
shivers. Just pull that bell, will you.
old man? I'm going to take some, soda
and Scotch. You'd better split a
Schwepps with me. What ?''-San
Francisco Argonaut.