New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-12-20
THE DECAY OF MANNERS.
coDr OF COURTESY ON A POSTCARD
BREEDING IN AUSTRIA-DEGEN-
ERATION IN AMERICA


incidentally increasing their circulation find
an olfer of a prize for the most satisfactory code
81 good manners that can be submitted on
postcard There is something exceedingly mod
arm and characteristic Of the present age in the
idea which naturally suggests the reflection
that all the manners OF the day could easily be
registered a postcard-with room TO spare
Our forefathers may possibly have erred in eX-
decoration Of punctilio The people OF the pres
ont day. however. rush To the OIL or extreme,
courtosy and politeness being reduced TO an
almost infnitesimal point, and there can he
little difficulty in recording 4 code Of manners OF
society as now constituted on a postcard, seeing
that there are hardly any manners at all that
are worthy of the name. This is all the more
strange since the present age is marked by an
almost inOrdnate craze for what is old-fash-
toned. and by its ability to appreciate in d more
extensive degree than any previous epoch all
that is graceful and artistic. Selfshness and
haste however. serve to counterbalance the
taste for the aesthetic and the love for what is
"visux regime" Their own wishes. whms and
comfort are the first and foremost Of all the
considerations Of people nowadays while they
are so pressed for time that they can rarely
snare sufficient thereof TO permit them to accord
adequate regard for the feelings of their neigh
bors.
Yet the very selfshness of thus placing com
forts and longings above all other consider
atoms should result in more attention than is
Maid nowadays TO good manners. The great
Tallcyrand was wont to declare that "he who
had not lived before 1889 knew but little of the
sweetness and charm of life" The old-fash-
toned courtesy Of those ante-revolution days
was based mainly the principle that II is
necessary to pay due regard to the feelings of
and TO yield thereto. Few countries have
tanned any vestige Of these ideas not even
France. formerly so noted for its prc-eminence
in everything pertaining to courtesy. 1t is prob
ably Austria that is best off in this respect. and
the result is that in no other capital is social
Intercourse so delightful so unaffected and at
the same time so polished at Vienna. No
where else are women the object OF so much
chivalrOus Difference. which, contrary TO the
practice that prevails IN other countries. in
creases with age
GOOD MANNERS IN AUSTRIA
In Austria no man would ever dream Of re-
ceving a lady's extended hand without bowling
to kiss it, the women of the world reserving
their right hands for the lower classes and
their left hand, that is TO say. the hand nearest
the heart for their equals. Children. even when
grown up, always kiss the hands OF their parents
before venturing to raise their faces for KISS,
and II may be mentioned incidentally that this
is form of Difference which every one Of Queen
Nictoria's children. grandchildren and great
grandchildren are accustomed to accord TO the
iilustrious old lady. Girls and young married
women In Austria, no matter how lofty their
station. do not consider it in any way beneath
their dignity TO kiss the hand OF ladies who have
attained a certain age, and the result is that in
tn ,ipinn Of hat mo ri rO1 nj n
archs Emperor Francis Joseph. greater degree
OF sympathy prevails between young and old
women less bitterness on the part Of the latter,
more kindly regard on the part OF the former.
than anywhere else in the world Indeed. Aus
tra may be described the paradise Of old
ladies'. and there. at any rate. age does not
bring in it's train neglect and discourtesy on
the part OF men. or even Of the women.
Nor is this polish Of manner which has its
origin in a kindliness OF heart and in desire
not merely TO avoid paining. but to give pleas
ure. confined 10 the relations that exist between
men and women. or among the women them
selves The men courteous in the extreme
TO one another. even in cases where the closest
kind OF intimacy prevails. Thus couple Of
officers may be sufficiently warm friends to
have no secrets from one another. and TO ad-
dress one another with the pronoun "du" or
thou: but this association is never regarded
as warranting the neglect Of those many little
oourteses and manifestations Of regard that
are held in Austria TO be Indispensable to social
Intercourse 1t would not permit. for instance.
the one to dispense with touching his cap to the
other when meeting him in public. Of Offering a
light before applying the match 10 his own
cigar. of holding back TO make way when on
terlng any door. or. in one word. with any Of
those thousand Of little odds and ends that con-
sute in their tout ensemble what are known
as good manners" In Austria | have known
two old friends, feow-ofiicers in the same cav
airy regiment. to fight sangunary duel be-
cause the one had so far forgotten himself al
the close Of particularly jovial dinner TO fill
the others wneglass by tipping the bottle negh-
gently backward. instead Of taking the trouble
10 incline the bottle forward Not even the close
intimacy which had existed between them for
ten or twelve years previously. nor yet the wine
which had been consumed at dinner was held
10 excuse such a lack OF courtesy and It was
generally held that nothing but blood could wipe
out the insult
GIVING THE LIE
This refusal TO permit familiarity to breed
contempt far from detracting from the charm
and facility Of friendly intercourse. on the con
trary. promotes thens For il relieves one of the
necessity of being forever on ones guard. as
one Is obliged to he in other countries and
especially in those where the English language |
Is spoken In order TO resent rudcness. In this
country as in England. it is by no means un-
common to hear men Of birth and breeding |
giving one another the lie. if not in so many |
words. at any rate by means Of point blank |
denial of a statement made. 1T is difficult to |
conceive anything more disconcerting TO a man |
Of delcacy and refinement. and yet it is thought
M, L.fo
AT Vienna such thing, however, would not |
be tolerated for minute. and ii may be left !
to the readers Of The Tribune 10 decide as to !
hotL c.. hils