The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-08-23
THE IDEAL GUEST.
TACT AND UNsELFIsHNEss ARE
ABSOLUTE REQUIREMENTS.
Dr.. Watts Is a. Model That All Host
esses Would Gladly See Their Wis
itors Follow.
what attitude did you take, Mary"

What attitude did you take, Mary
well, she was never invited here
again. was the laughing answer.
Mary had just been telling me abouS
a really clever woman who had visited
them some years before, but who made
the fatal mistake of quite ignoring her
hostess during the day-spending her
time in reading, resting, sleeping or IN
the weightier matters of the toilet, pre-
paratory to emerging at eventide a gay
and brilliant butterfly, intended to daz-
zle the men of the household. 1t was
looked upon as a very good joke at the
! time. but somehow as the seasons
rolled around, this same sparkling lady
didn't get honored with another lnVl-
tation to the house.
I CHANGED to know of another fair
woman who lost her footing in the
same household by committing the in
! discretion of taking cigarettes with her
after dinner coffee. 1t didn't happen
to be just the time and place to exhibit
! her Bohemian tendencies-all of winch
proves that "how to be an agreeable
and welcome guest" is quite as worthy
careful consideration as the more fire.
| quently exploited question, now TO
entertain.
A LONG VISIT.
Many years ago DR.. Watts went to
visit Lord Abney in the Isle of Wight
for a fortnight, but they made him so
happy and he proved such an attrac-
! tive guest that he remained forty
years This was doubtless longer
visit than any Of US would care to
make under the most favorable cir
| cumstances, but it would be nice TO
leave so pleasant an impression behind
| i ] icI q w
might remain half a century instead,
as is often the case, breathing a sigh
of relief as they settle down again to
! their usual occupations after speeding
the parting guest"
| Observation, tact, with a soupcon OF
unselfishness is a good old-fashioned
recipe for carrying one credltably
through anything-even the most COM
| plicated social traits. If to this one
! can but add the flavor of SAVIOR faire,
and a ready adaptibility of tempera-
ment to different points of view and
modes of living, one is not likely to
want for invitations into the most de-
lightful and exclusive homes.
DEFINITE COMINGS AND GOINGH.
In this country, where invitations are
a much more elastic sort of affair than
amongst older civilizations, it shou1G
be an inflexible rule with the guest In
| accepting her invitation to state dell
nitely the day and hour of her ex-
pected arrival, and at the same time
! to allow the length Of her proposed
visit to be understood; as it more than
| frequently happens that the family has
some plan of its own which it is hold
! ing in allegiance until it shall have
learned the intentions of its guests.
! Whatever you do never let yourself
seem a dead weight on the hands of
your hostess; always have a pretty
piece of work in which you are really
interested, and some book sufficiently
absorbing to relieve one of any anxiety
as to your entertainment; not so much
| so, however, but that you can leave it
with alacrity for any little scheme
especially devised for your pleasure.
1t is a, very good idea when visiting to
take ones self off a, portion of every
afternoon on the excuse of a nap or
| what-not, so that the hostess may de-
| pend upon some time in which she is
in no way responsible for your happi-
| ness.
Under no conditions is the old maxim
when you are in Rome do as the Ro-
mans do more applicable than when
one is i'm the position of am honpred
guest. One of the first duties upon do
mesticaring ones self should be to as
certain the hours which govern the
household routine, and conform strictly
to them; not keeping ones friends up
at night beyond their usual hour and
above all never be guilty of the I'M
pardonable negligence of appearing late
ait table. Indeed, not to be prompt at
meals, at proposed drive or any func-
ton Whatsoever, is a manifestation of
| ill- breeding sure to be noticed and re-
membeT-ed.
OLD-FASHIONED VIRTUES.
1t is after adj the old-fashioned solid
virtues that count when one is making
up ones household, and not to be on
derby for instance may weigh more
heavily against one in the quality of a
guest than to be dull. Only a. short
| time ago I heard g. woman readjuSt-
| ing her whole estimate Of a quondaqn
| friends character, apropos of the dis
| order which she created while a. WIS.,
| itor4 in the formers home. AS may bs
expected, the much disturbed hostess
did not fail to remark that it would be
| long time before the visit was repeat
| ed upon her invitation. To keep ones
room in order, to refrain from scattering
ones belongings about the house, to be
| becomingly goWned, to make small de-
mamns upon the servants, are all char
acteristics of the ideal guest Nor does
| she forget that q, little fee TO the SER
/
uating. the pleasant relations between
mistress and maid. And while dwelling
upon these honeiier qualities, it may
| be as well to add that neither does the
| ideal guest forget to go we'll stocked
with adj sorts of small supplies, pens,
paper, ink, stamps, scissors, thread
needles, ETC., SO that it will never be
necessary to call the attention of the
| hostess to the fact that she has been
rerniss in fitting up her guest ROOM
should that happen to be the case.
COURTESY TO FRIENDS FRIENDS
Whatever accomplishments one may
possess, whether it be singing, playing
on talking, should be at the disposal OF
ones hostess and her friends; for to be
gracious to the friends of the family is
more essential than to do honor to che
heads of the household themselves
was once visiting with a very famous
woman Of exquisite nature and great
! talents at the house of a mutual friend
A little luncheon was given at which
| she was, of course, the guest of honor.
But to the great disappointment CT
everyone, she did nothing TO grace the
occasion beyond being present ant
looking aTniabQy pleased. Although
ito talk to shine is undeliably vulgar
NOT I'd talk in this instance was dis
tinctly selfish, and not the less so be-
cause it was unconscious.
A d Il