Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1896-06-13
BRO. GARDENERS CAMPAIGN
CLUB.



the Campaign Club had been called TO
order and a couple of herring boxes chuck
ed into the stove to bring the Temperature
Of the hail up to The boiling point, I'VE has
congregated ourselves heah dis evenin' 10
listen to a political address by de Hon. f.
Plrribus Clay of Virsiny. Misfah Clay am
a gemlan, scholar an patriot, am has
de distinguished honah of bein' de only
Guild delegate to a Nashunal Convention
who offered $4,000 i'm cash fur his
vote. He didn't take 1t, of co'se DE two
hundred acres of land he bought on his re-
turn home from dat Convenshun was paid
fur Wild money he found on de street I'm
chicago. DE committee viii now escort
! him into de hall. an doorn' his pc rform-
ance L want de sileatest sort o silence from
all members
Il. PIuribus Appears.
The strangers appearance on the plat
form was greeted with applause. lie was
a tall. dgniiied man, with feet having a
good hold of the earth, and il was easy TO
see THAI he was perfectly al home before
The public. He shook hands with Brother
Gardner and Sir Isaac Walpole helped
himself 10 glass OF water and then re-
moved his cuffs and pushed UP his s,eeves
Shindig Watkins, who has always claimed
that he knew T.. PIuribu5 Unum when both
We're boys, said that SIR. Clay looked near
enough like him to be min brother
Giveadam Jones gave it as his opinion that
the uls;inS dished guest had pair of legs
which could outrnn any razor back hog in
the south, and other members sized him
Up 10 mis- general credit in the interval of
Waiting.
lie begins.
Citizens of de United States" quietly
began the speaker. as he stepped to the
front, why dis turmoil? Why dis excite
ment? Why dis gatherin' of men on de
street co'ners to talk wild bated breff an
call each other bigots an liars? DE an
swer am at handle wheel Of Time has
rolled around another PRESIDE nshual cam
palgn an de sap of polytIch am beyinnin'
10 rise in mems breasts. Oar was a time
afic not SO VERY long 2So, when yo' lad
huffln' to say an muffin to 40 wild de is
sues or a campaign but ii may be i'm yo'r
hands dis fall to decide de fate of dis great
nashun. cheersD Am yo' ready for de
comm struggle? eyes. yos.D II am
gWine TO be SIGH a struggle as once shook
de walls of Rome an made de Tiber run
red wild de blood of ten thousand men,
I Rah for de Tiber!D Dat struggle Will
call for patriotism and SACRIFICES am IN
VIII end UP only when rarciiew truth an
innocence stand triumphant on de battle
ments OF integrity. tcheers for innocence
and The battlementsD
An Alarming Picture.
Patriots of glorious Republic" con-
tinued r. Pluribus, after moistening his
throat, de gineral situation which We
| must confront is one to appal! the s.ouiest
heart As i stand heah b,fo yo' an gaze
ober de barbed wire fence dat separates de
present from de fucher my blood runs cold
tShivers alt over the hall) IL am a MIR
tur. 10 make me groan ia despair oGroans
and sighs.) On dis side OF - fence am In
nocence, clothed in her white robe an
peacefully piantin' her COW cumber patch
on de odder am Vice. draped la the deepest
black an grindin' his sword 20 q razor
edge tCheers for Virtue ana Vice. VIII
innocence drap dem CO aGuub seeds befo'
IL am too late an arm IA, .-sclf wild a razor
or VIII she be token uI.prey pared an swept
away as chat befo' de terfab.. cyclone dat
leaves only death an dcstrl = silln behind9
Vheers Tor chat, lnnocenca ami cyclonesD
once let DAT Vice get a SW he at dat In
nocence wild his long. keen sword an.
what will be de result? DE bulwarks of
American liberty viii come tu.ib.in down
VIA crash, which will echo from nashun
TO nashun till ii has been heard around A.,
! hui world CHEERS Ter cras.,cs and bull
warks) Anarchy VIII reign, midnight
darkness viii settle down upon dis fair
iaiu, an SIGH cry of horror Will go up
dat de stars will pale an face away an de
moon no longer show her face Gnfenss
excitement over the moons conductD
but the Country May BE Saved
Il speak TO Brutus. Caesar an Cassus,"
said the orator. after he had got some more
breath to work on. Il app. al to patriot
ism. honesty and love of k,ntry. ,SeyeraI
cheers for Brutus and one whoop for
Caesar) 1t depends on you to save dis
kentry from wreck. ruin an despair. VIII
you do it? (Cries OF You hst.) 1; reioic.s
my heart to lar yo' say so. Now i feel
DAT Innocence will be saved and Vice laid
low DE campaign has not opened VII, but
yo kin n ar de tread of de mighty armies
as dey gather fur battle. G.rd up yo'r
loi.is. More or less sirdins) Git ready.
fotch out dem swords dat was Redeemed
at i-eXington-hunt up dat musket dat de-
fcnded BUNKER liii-put on DAT cooked hat
which carried dlSInay 10 our enemies ar
Yorktown. CHEERS for cooked hats) Yo
KIN save America if yo' will. an i'm sayin'
her yo r names shall thunder .iown de lanes
ali byroads OF Zine tail Time shall ait tired
OF its COB an SO out o bznoss. tChecrs for
TIme.D
How to do Ii.
Let me warn .o'," said the orator. after
rest. Ito be watchful and vigilant. From
de Time de sun rises dis campaign Till it
goes down on howiin' victory. don't go 10
bed a single night. If yo' sleep de inemy
may be upon yo'.
Believe muffin bad about yo'r own cam
dyda.e-bclieve de wust about ali others
Post yoselOs on de issues al stake SO
dat yo' kin tell inquirin' man whether
dis am struggle 10 pr,safve de life OF a
glorious Republic, CT only an attempt to
bring de price OF 'taters down 10 d do.lar0
a bari.
our candidate will be a man who has
done nuffln all his life but tell de truth
help de pore, make happiness fur de Wild
der an find stidGy work fur de orphans
All other candydates kin he sot down as
boss thieves an highway robbers
BE wakeful- Ee watchful. BE ready al
all times. De campaign VIII open Wild
bombshells an close Wild grapeshot Each
an every patriot must be right Oar on do
front line. Sacrifice. Fight, Dash for'dJ
an wrest victory from a foe see kim de
downfall an destrackshun of all 30 hold
dear, lncloodin' 'possums ar watermill-
yons. an yo'r coGnomens shall blaze on dc
tablets OF memory when Hannibal an
Nero hey bin forgotten fur a thousand
vars. CHEERS for Hannibal. Nero. water
miliyons. and the speaker. all mixed up in
confusion. during which T. PluriI,us CLAW
made his bow and retired)
snakes Carried on "a Calf.
(pltmhin Moi Of I.t,is L