The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-11-16
SALVATORE NEW COMEDY.
''The Wind-Jnmmers," dedicated to
the Prize Ring.

the FrlZe ring.
Salvador" the sporting writer Of the
columbus Dispatch, has written a one-act
farce-comedy entitled "The Wind-Jammers. .
The plot is laid in the Office Of the illus
trated Coppers' Gazette, a weekly journal of
roseate hue devoted to the best interests OF
short card workers, phony dice men, candy
butchers and blood heat morality in tender
loin precincts. Time eyening-(the usual
pink tea hour)
DRAMATIS PERSONAL.
Mr. Pichard Reynard editor philanthropist
and donor of the diamond dog collar)
Texas Sam sporting EDITOR.
Jim Cornet-gentleman ian actor.
Thesp1an OGrady playwright, Comets con-
fidential adviser).
Horseshoe Fits "a blacksmith in full even
ing dress, who was once known to fight.
Smart Julia Ann (his bellows.
Princes, poets, clubmen, peasants, scribes,
villagers and newsboys in attendance.
Reyn2rd, Texas Sam, Fits and Julia Ann
are discovered with their feet upon an ebony
Office table, drinking fizZwater. Reynard pulls
out his tin watch with Waterbury bowels in
it and nervously glanees toward the door.
Reynard-And will he never come? Thrice
hath he sworn upon the sacred eirclet that
once adorned tn fat equator of Bosten's John
l.. that he'd ne'er fall me, and thrice hath
he broken his vows. What, no, there, gee
yards! aside TIC, Texas Sam Bring forth
the royal dog collar that l may wherewith
feast me faLnished vision.
Texas -Yes-s-me-lud.
Julia Ann-Howld off, yez malvather;n'
thafe. VIII yez sthop yer ufoonkey doodlin'.
Sit down, yez spalpeen, or III trun yez troo
de windy beyant tn Brukelin' bridge. It's
a foight we want. Oil how none av yer
hootchie-kootchee gew gaws in moline.
Horseshoe (wiping the ashes off the bicycle
Koh-i-noor mountain of light in his imnac-
ulately Troy-laundried shirt front that have
fallen from his Wheeling stogie)-Yes, an give
us suthin' ter drink, Bloime me, H i'm
not tn bloke is goin ter sit h'around awf
bloomink doay, h'a waiting mug as
wots stiff-See? E'es a bloomink stiff. e'e
his!
CEnter O'Grady and Cornet, the latter at
tired in a sweater of virgin purity and a
Henry III. smile, blowing his horn to the
words of the Mad Gladiator.)
eye call ME chief
Horseshoe-The bloke's crazy loon.
Cornet-Friends, Romans. eountTymen,
lend me your ears. / came not to bury Fits
/ came to~(his eyes espy the belt The
belt. The belt Take it-away! No, no, give
it me. The precious bauble l laid at Maher' 8
feet. (Fondles IT'D It once was mine-mine.
Ah me. Many times and oft I've pushed
the bedstead up against the door and sat
me down upon me velvet couch to coddIe
and embrace this brilliant trophy. And then?
but men are made of sterner stuff Methinks
| heard some one call me Stiff
3 "a stiff Who called me a stiff"
Texas Sam-Geltlemen, Mr. Cornet-
Cornet Ito Fits)-Why, you tomato-headed,
freckled-faced kangaroo, I'll
Reynard and Texas Sam Qnterceding)-
Cannot some am1caDle fangement be made
In this matter, gentlemen? I assure you I
think there's way to-
Fits (wearily to julia Amy = Deah boy,
cawn't you tell me. Wot all those blarsted
blokies about to do? WEAKLY, Hi think de
guy wild de white swetty wants to grow bit.
Hill boost i'm a boomer hin is heye. He's
de guy vets KILN hall the chorus COILS wild
is handsome heyes? Hill smash is bloody
nose. (Remeves his coat.)
Citizens and civilians to the rescue, Rey-
nard frantically entreating- Don't, DON'T
Mr.. Fits, you'll get the house pulled.
Fits (excitedlyl-Th' 'ouse pulled? Cor
bloime me; Hill pull Is bloomink nose, yes,
Hi will.
Reynard and Texas sam-Now, gentlemen,
II you'll calm yourselves for moment so,
I'll get the articles and have this affair set
tied without any ill feeling.
Cornet-Get me pen, and get 1t quick.
See
Fits-HiH not sign unless Holm in with
Julia AMMAN $1,000 for tn ixpinsis o.
thrainin'.
Texas Sam-Gentlemen, it affords me great
pleasure to see an event of this nature pulled
off so amicably. Nor has this meeting been
without its lessons. We have learned that
the great art of self-defense today is champ
toned by two of the worlds greatest wind
TANNERS, the highest pinnacle Of fame T
have here a letter from the AlkaH Dust Ath-
letic club, of Massacre Gulch, Mexico, con-
ceding every demand, guaranteeing absolute
protection and offering $50, 600 for the CEN
test. VIII you accept it?
Fits and Cornet-No! we'd have to fight
DECENTRALIZATION guerrillas, sheriffs, cow
CoutTy It's of Thee Columbia enters
waving pen and paper in one hand, a bel
lows in the other. Red fire. Curtain. Cor
net and Fits In their celebrated duo entitled
We've Both Been There Before. Many's the
Time"