Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-08-13

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Man wants but little here below,
lN As someone said before, rr4
But when he gets it, don't you know
He wants little more.
Truth.
Hell fear the worst. She-Whate
happened, George? Your father has
paid back that SO he borrowed."-Life.
Muggins-Is your son In business?
BuggIns-He'sa contractor. Muggins--
What line? Buggins-Dcbts.-Ph
delphIa Record.
Homekeep-Everd drink any OF these
substitutes for coffee? Dayboard-I
haven't drank anything else for seven
years.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Hedges-Sappy is continually falling
of his wheel. Rose-What can you
expect from a fellow who isn't we'll
balanced. North Amert-
can.
"Summer'is tough season on us par
ents." "Why SOP" Our daughters
who have been graduated try to mako
us talk dramatically. Rec
ord.
Fame" said Uncle Ebcn, Jam jes'
like swingin' in er hammick. Hit am
mighty good fun eff somebody doan' cut
de string an drap yer."-Washington
Star.
'Does your family sympathize with
you when you have insomnia" Yes
When I can't sleep l sit up all night
and practice on my accordion.
cago Record. g3
Though you may not take vacation
On your very slender pay, 8. ~ -.
There is rest and recreation fpa s-ti,
In the bores that go away. shaf,si
Chicago Record.
Willie-Grandpa, tell me a story.
Grandpa-Once upon a time, before
people thought of marrying for mon
ey-- Willie-Oh, don't mean fairy
story.-Norristown Herald.
"Enen," said, old Bprdcrkecp,S there
comes them York folks. Give the chill
dren little more snuff an get 'em ter
sneezin' We've got ter make 'em think
it's cool here somehow."-Judge.
One bitter drop spoils rapture's cup;
When ice sells by the splinter
We cannot can the hot waves up
To use them in the winter.
Chicago Record.
II suppose you're fond of Shaks-
peare," said one legitimate actor to an
other "Of course am" Then why
in the name of humanity do you insist
on acting his observation-disclosures
Star.
Wickwire-Have you noticed that
Nudge has gait cigars and taken up
pipe? Yabsley-Yes; wonder what In
the cause-has he been playing the
races or getting engaged?-IndianapOlis
Journal.
Just like our hopes,
Which oft vanish in vapor,
Are the candidates promises;
Strong-on paper. ry...
Philadelphia North American.
Salvation Army Apostolic you
swear at those horses. my good man,
you'll never go to heaven. Teamster
(humbly)-I knows it, mum; but IL I
don't I'll never get to Tonawanda.--
Buffalo Times
Mechanic-"I have just been married
and would like a raise In my wages"
Employer-"I am sorry, but the com
pany is only responsible for accidents
that happen to the men while in the
brooklyn Life. 1isaaU
Wiggles-"There's one good thing
about Hicks. He is always willing to
admit 1t when he Is In the wrong"
Waggles-''I don't think 1t is a good
thing. 1t doesn't seem to trouble him
a bit."-Somerville Journal.
I summered on the Jersey coast,
And / am puzzled still,
AS twixt the skectcrs and hotels,
Which has the longest bill.
Louisville Truth
1T seems to me. Mr.. Stillson, that
your new house is lacking in judicious
use of fretwork" well, my wife will
fill that deficiency just as soon as she
gets her eye on those measly Closets
Cleveland Plain Dealer
He am going to pay you the
highest compliment n man can pay a
woman" She-"This is so sudden"
He-"I know it, but l came away with
out my pocketbook-can you lend me a
dollar until to-morrowT'-New York
World.
"And how is your papa, Eddiew
"Papa is feeling ever so much better
to-day" II suppose it's the change In
the weather." mo, ma'am, faint tho
weather. Mamma has decided to start
for the seaside to-morrow."-Cleve-
Land Plain Dealer
mo" said Dismal Dawson, In answer
to his benefactor's question, hard
times Is not the best for our business.
Nor yet good times The, times that
suits me best is about nl&dluni- when
the work amt too plenty, nor money
too scare" -Indianapolis, ybHfex
A little 4-year-old occupied Az Upper
berth in the sleeping-car. Awakening
once In the middle Of the night his
mother asked him II he, knew where lus
was. 'sl'oufsef DO. Ne r@fied. .r.u
n,-the top drawer.i--Youths Compan-
ion. as pr% syssHx
II often wonder suSt what skcsthinlxs
of me-" said the young parrjed-span.
1T is easy to find out" sid al clsi>stIv
married man. "Just sit down ON he-
hat and she will tell you what sho
thft,tr, % in, Ic... r..