New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-10-11

my sermon on loose sheets Of paper. AS it hap
5oH s SiB ~ pno thrown ~ he
was right in the path Of small cyclone eon nai
day. therefore decided that must keep one hand
or At least finger on my manuscript 10 pIe'f ,b
prospect. for man can't be impressive while mus
for III i .....,.,.. :, the mar.
LOT and the piazza outside was lined VIII men nr
reading the morning papers and smoking. Inc ser
vice went of well. largely owing to choir OF pref
u girls ard stepped forward 70 my scapo6x Pu; !,
down with my Jeff hand. announced the text ana ~,
appespin TO as S'S down MIRO for few moments
thought might venture to lift my left hand on me
sye gesture win my two hands; 1t was faI ,ai
move. Without the slightest warning terrihc gust
each page being blown in a different direction.
What catastrophe this was TO young anu
derstand.
unfortunately. in my effort clutch, my manu-;
script when the wind coming. / disturbed
the equilibrium of the soapbox pulpit. and II rel:
over There was. the picture OF desoat lo,i my
heap OF boxes with big stenciled letters on tne
body inside aud outside laughing 1T to Kill can
you imagine situation more terrible?
80 couple OF harem-sfareh SoIes Siess iheu 10
this day for doing it with faces as sober judges.
g ' Forward With pages Of my
and most of them kept from LAUGHING ou,ris orc
little girl asked in anxious tones heard in every a
corner OF the room: Mamma, IL he going 10 DO II al
wpng the tears from their eyes. the people tled
to resume their church faces expecting me to re-
heroic resolve. Putting the sermon in my pocket.
said My friends. after this distre ssing accident
cannot preach the sermon | had written, but II
you will bear with me will say a few words Win
out notes think really gave a% a 9e'r h seI
never used manuscript since.
II once had a funny experience in marrying
II. ~
"The bridegroom decent young farm hand
and happy and bashfu the point OF crimson
spcechlessness. When l came to the point where
asked him. wilt thou have this woman: ETC. ne
made no reply. The bride whispered something to
him. and then he stammered. Mister will you say
them words over again? I'm lette deaf
Il repeated question in stentorian tones. while
was conscious Of thepoorly suppressed merrment Of
the bys,anders When the man caught the import
bIurted Out. You bet | will: that's what I'm here
for. Under such circumstances, IL was nara 70
preserve my dignity but did the best could ana
pronounced them man aud wife. ,.
hen the m saye mf Gbns he DAM
age Nothing. replied, I am glad to nave been
OF service to You But won't have it that way.
he said 4 know It's the custom to give the minister
somcthin' and al you won't name sum, III do Il
myself And he handed me a twenty -douar Dill
Not long ago an old ashioned country clergy
man visited clerical friend in rho city. As they
were walking in the street together one day they
met 4 third clergyman. a noted liberal. whom the
host Of the rural brother greeted warmly.
Well I'm surprised said the visitor. when they
were again alone. You were just as peasant 10
| tina, man II he wasn't a hereto, Out my way
| would lose my church II was friendly 10 SUCH
| men.
Some years ago" says the pastor Of a city
church. Il in charge Of little church In re-
| mote rural settlement. There was only one un-
| .der;aker In the place. and he was queer char
! acter Though shrewd and intelligent. he was
very illierare In spite of this he had local rep
ufarior as an orator and he aspred TO DO sort OF
/ social arbiter. Under all circumstances he spoke
! II a dead body corp. evidently supposlns
! that corpse' was the plural form. He always con-
! Not that N. al all offensive. for n" WASH l. lie
| simply recognized facts. and everyoody sse was
! gave hiu the keenest Joy. His happiness snone
through the professional righteousness that ne 2.
| erect. n" always made little speech wnsh the
| clergyman finished the service, which went some
thing Ike this. being delivered III sing ,sUns
| voice and the sentences being run together WIFI
on, any pause between them. TIL freIs OF the corp
! desires me- thank the kind neishbors that ma,
| come here on this solium occasion ana KNOW el
/ the corp could speak he would jine In my remarks
! b,Ii he's gone 10 a better Ian where We are all
yoin' ourselves some day an now the aujence Will
/ please step forward 20 take their las view OF the
! ceuatns indulein in A gaze OF few moments but
not too long. for there are others VINO waIt 70 s
| turnir' neither this-a-way nor thai-a-way. after
ich the frens 81 the corp will take their last look
| an NAV the pod Lord have mercy on US all
| "He wa4 evidently proud OF THIS speech. ana 50
FAR as I could see. tho simple folk Of the country
/ .lde looked upon IL entirely proper. Indeed,
am not sure but that the frens Of the corp would
nav, 10 sighted n he had omitted II on any oc-
casion In the country funeral i more or less OF
/ A social function and even grief IA not ohlyious
! 70 Inc importance Of impresslng the neishbors
| nave across many oud undertak ers pul
/ his one stands easily II the head of them all"