Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1896-12-17
| he mischief III "A SaIe.

Inc sdIo proved u De LuII OF SUI
pIIoeo ana maze oIOuUle rom tie Stall
Inc man WHO DOuguL IL -I4co IN new
Orh ana sOea 70 DIOokIyu 20 sleep
Ine sCoIy Oh Une SAFE ,6Oes Dack 10
The day Wnen u6 udu d y4oICOr az ms
ONCE .Wnoae uOnSue Was hung on Lue
pmncIple OF eoIa new ELECTRICAL os-
CllIator, WnIcn vIUraLe5 d surprising
number Oh CImeo III d second. Inc
VlSILoI ndu sales 70 oen, anu, Wnen Une
cILlzen Saul ne WUuIun I buy one, turn-
Ell on the current LnaL ran MS tongue.
oLral8nLWdy The once was ,uiled WILn
a Du1zlnS, Wnlrrlng, pene,raung enecJ
that mdue Une proprietor WnIrI about
III MS cudlr anu zap MS ndnuS OEeI
his ears. Inc 5eneraI purpOrU Oh the
disturbance Was 20 Inc elect Cnat Inc
c4LIzen uIu Want 20 Duy d sale, WneGner
he thought 50 or not; unaL IL ne uIdn'L
neeu one IOr MS once neu better sc,
one Tor MS house, and not nave all
his sIIVerWare ana VaIuaDles suolen,
and that ne q never nave UeJIer op-
portumJy Oh buying a sale IN his me
IMAM I1gnL DIT JnaL moment.
4 II mink about il, ne sad weekly.
NO, you won UnInk about IL, the
buzzIng reUorLed vigorously and at
much greater length. IL you want a
sale at all you want it right now.
Your yaluaDles may be stolen al any
moment, and then it viii be too late
to think about it. HOW'S Uhis style?
Lis. prlce, $6U. tifty OIL. Let you
have it at $50 What color will you
have it painted? Delivered free to any
part OF New York or Brooklyn"
All this is important as showing that
it was not the mans fault that he
bought the safe, and consequently his
after troubles were not deserved. The
surprises began as soon as he reached
his house in Brooklyn after the arrival
OF the safe His wife met him beam
ing.
oh, dear, she cried, the safes
here, and it's perfectly grand. We
certainly must get those 500 curtains
if we are going to live up to the safe.
But this was only a passing cloud.
He felt a thrill OF joyful pride when
he saw the safe and heard all about
it from his wife. Lit reached his house
in the afternoon while he was AT bust
ness, and the duty OF receiving it fell
upon his wife alone and almost proved
too much for her. That Was largely
because Uhe safe seemed SO huge and
SO dignitied as ii sat in majesty upon
the truck that brought it,
THAT thing doesn't come into my
house, she exclaimed Indignantly,
when the servant girl rushed up into
her room win the news that a process
sion had stopped in front of the house,
and showed il to her from the window
It's big enough for pawn shop! Let
him leave it in the front yard if he
wants to-"
Undoubtedly the escort, made the
safe seem more form liable than it was
in reality. The escort included two
big, fat, jolly PercherOns, a truck with
a windlass, a complete outfit of ropes
and tackle and skids and derricks, two
red signs with the warming, Danger!
on them in big letters, a stout man
who bossed the job, and two assistants
in check jumpers who jollied .the ser
wants 1t caused a commotion in rne
neighborhood and collected a crowd in
front of the house. Altogether it was
enough to arouse the ire of any house
wife. But there may be some affinity
between handling safes and handling
women, for the man who was bossing
the job seemed to have as little diff
Guilty in moving the one as II cajoling
the other. He told her what "a nice
safe it was, and GAINED her apprehen-
sions by assuring her that it would
not really be necessary to take the
front wall of the house down in order
to get the safe in. BY the time the
assistants had rugged up a derrick and
arranged their skids and their tackle
she was able to contemplate the safe
with more kindly feelings. Then the
men got the thing into the house after
nearly taking the front door off its
hinges, denting the hat rack and
smashing the globe of the hail lamp
the devastation she had expected that
She felt positive gratitude to the safe
when it was in position at last.
Il don't know how we have got
along without it," she remarked.
The safe certainly had its good
points outwardly, whatever its moral
failings as demonstrated by subsequent
events. 1t was big, hand painted in
white picked out with fine gold lines
and had its propr1etor's name upon il
combination lock, over which you could
spend a quarter of an hour profitably
whenever you wanted to open the door
In order to prevent mistakes, the pro
prietor explained the combination tt
his wife and his servant, and showed
them how to work it. AS a further
precaution, he wrote it out in large
figures and posted the paper in The
most conspicuous place he could thinl
of. Then he considered that both be
and his valuables were secure.
It's too blame easy to forget the
combination to take any chances abou
it," he said.
The safe set out at once to make it
presence felt A spry young man wa
announced by the maid servant.
I'm from the burglar alarm com
pany," he said. Better let US put
burglar alarm on that safe Of yours
When you set out to make your prop