Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-03-14

CA Uross-e}es. The ntieman iu Ques-
-Cl had been a teacher. and he didn't
know che sClerotic coat from an over
c13f. Sometimes his patients would
follow Dim around and at one town the
hotel where ne was stopping looking a
workable hos pltal so goggles. He was
setting nervous aud he had a right TO
se, that WAY. When he reached Mis-
souri, he ran plump into a stringent
l1W aDd he was az q less what 70 do
when the happy idea OF being a phre-
r1.ogis- struck him In this he could
u9t harm his patients physically. Just
make greater asses OF them that was
an.
In this he was an eminent success.
Nearly two years later / met him in
luxury and elegance. On his blazing
posters he called himself the ITO
plan, the Great Diffuser Of knowledge.
People who did not know enough 10
get in out of the rain would flock TO
him TO get their heads felt. and the
multitudes Of Congressman. bankers
and geniuses he LEFT in his wake at 81
per head was appalling.
His private lectures. which he called
scientific and educational. drew crowds
of apparently intelligent people. drawn
no doubt from a bid and vulgar Gu
riosity. His titles ard degrees and
medals fEom unknown colleges anC
never heard of societies were many.
He told me that his net profits were
over $500 week, and he further said
that he doubted the truth of the old
saying that every minute a sucker is
born he thought that at least a half
dozen were born. The Professor kind
~ offered me a position, but l declined,
being in q business about as bad was
then with a medicine veRder.
Later on while with an itinerant dra-
matte company. l came near taking the
management of a phrenologist. who had
the most perfectly developed nerve l
ever met. il vas so prOdidgious yet so
child like and innocent. II l could
have only held him down to phrenology
he would have been all right. but he
persisted on airing his views on other
matters-When he had none.
I was amazed one day upon entering
the hotel Office TO hear him loudly main
tanning that Andrew Jackson was then
President of the United States. ] took
him in the back yard and emphatically
and kindly Informed him If ! did the
managing act, he must not express
himself on any thing in publc-outside
of phreuOlogy. I thought I smoothed
the matter over TO the crowd in the
Office by carelessly venturing how Won
derful iC was that great geniuses knew
so little outside their own business
they were so wrapped up in il that no
-ime for other study ever occurred
and ] cited a few historical instances.
The Professor read chronological
journals all afternoon and was very do
ellie. In the evening I was astOnished
TO find him in a heated argument try
ing 10 prove that the w0rldwas f2t and
circular. 1 even overlooked this, and
that evening from the stage-it was
Saturday evening. our closing night,
the Professor was to open Monday and
7 was 10 come back and join him in a
week and Whoop up the diffusion OF
Gge-that night from the stage
/ gave the Professor a good send on
and emphasized his distinction both in
Europe and America as a scholar and
savant and Inadvertently squeezed in
a remark about his medical knowledge.
think ne believed every word / said,
for when returned TO the hotel I
gaspei as I beheld the Professor en-
terlaf1ing a crowd AS I entered 7
heard bin say: Yes. and most OF these
physicians subscriptions prove fatal
even if they don XIII person.
This broke my heart and I did not
go tle Professor phrerology is
O. good tlirz-if ij Is properly worked.
The beauty about Dr. is that the profess
s0r may know but very little OF what
hp'is talking about and as The people
who hstn no. him know great deal
less. le can pose as a very learned
man..
SIS. would suggest. however. 20 any
vouur man that u the only PROOF he
has of his capacity or Intelligence IS
chronological chart for goodness sake
don't fash &c on your prospective en-
ployer as Credential.
I- f- possible 20 ten shepherd dog
from a bull dog. a Chinaman from
white man. O. vicious man from gen
ueman. a diftident man from an egotist'
but before it can be accepted that each
and every trivial bump means exactly
this and that. the phrenologists, so
called. will be Obliged TO be more unan-
irlous in their opinions and more &C
curate i'm their cOnclusions-perhaps
then it may be classified as an exact
science. What il more largely needs is
more intelligence and less gall
BARON JONES.