davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

ACCOMMODATING.- In countries
which are visited much by curious
travellers, everything becomes show
from the natives point of view
DR.. Seeman relates an observation
of his own to this effect.
suppose it must be in remem-
brance of my own educational train
ing and for the sake of comparing
my own lot as boy with that of
others, that always find myself in
quiring, with almost savage satisfiac-
tion, what punishments are inflicted
in the various countries on the ne'er-
do weels.
On addressing one day my favor.
ite questions to a schoolmaster at
Cairo, he told me he gave the Egyp.
tians the bastinado.
- have often read Of this,n /
said, "but have never seen it ap.
Piled"
"Then you shall see it now" he
rejoined and forthwith proceeded
TO collar one of the biggest boys and
| infiict the usual Oriental castigation
The boy hallooed out tremendously,
and naturally inquired for what
offense he was punished.
"Oh, no offense," was the reply.
:" gave him the bastinado merely
because you said you had never seen
II applied"
OF course / at once interceded,
gave the boy two shillings for his
pains and the schoolmaster sixpence
for his.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

The GRAMMATICAL RULE
From time to time examinations of
classes in the elementary schools are
conducted under the auspices of the
Superintendent of Public Schools,
in order to test the work of the
teachers. In the early days of the
superintendency, teachers who ex-
pected visits from one of the as
sistant superintendent would care
FULLY drill their pupils and prepare
them to go on "dress parade" In
one of these cases, says the Phila-
delphia CAL, the children had been
taught to recite number of words
which included an array of nouns,
adJectives, adverbs, etc, in measured
quantity.
What is fully ?" asked the
teacher.
Adverb !" shouted the class.
And this !" as she wrote ssurely'
on the board.
"Adverb !" again responded the
youngsters.
land what is this ?" queried the
assistant, writing, "The fly has
WINGS" and pointing to f1y.'
Adverb !" Justify exclaimed the
class.
And why is it an adverb ?"
"'Cause it ends in 'ly,'" was the
confident answer.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

A QUESTION OF IMPoRT.-He
was ali ex-member of the United
States army, and was naturally
proud of 1t. His experiences during
the civil war were many and formed
the staple of his conversation not
only when he had guests, but in the
bosom of his family. AS time went
on, his adventures grew in import
ance and magnitude and there came
to be pronounced belief among his
friends that his imaginative powers
were becoming by no means inn
paired by advancing years.
Most appreciative of all his listen
ers was his youngest son, who night
after night delighted to Chamber upon
his fathers knee, with the never
varying request or "Papa, tell US
some more about what you did in
the war" And he was always ready
to tell the boy something more; and
as the narratives grew in number
and the parental feats increased in
valor, the boy grew wide-eyed and
proud to think of the warrior-like
qualities of his father, until one
night, when the story was told, the
child innocently said, But, daddy
dear, couldn't you get anybody to
help you put down that rebellion ?n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

QUITE APROPos.-A Snowman at
the fair possessed beautiful parrot,
which accompanied him everywhere
on his peregrinations through town
and country and excited the admira-
ton of the gaping crowd by its capi-
tai imitation Of the showman's
voice and tones when inviting the
people to step into the booth. One
day the bird broke it's chain and es-
capped into neighboring plantation.
Soon number of men and boys
were soon on its track, but before
they had gone far they heard loud
noise caused by the screeching of
birds in the wood. On arriving at
the spot whence the sounds pro-
ceeded, they found poor Poll perched
on the Withered branch of tree,
bereft of most of its feathers and
surrounded by flock of screeching
crows that were mercilessly pecking
at it with their beaks. Notwith.
standing this pitiable state of affair."
the crowd of seekers could not re-
frain from laughing as they heard
the poor victim scream out at the
top of its voice Zone at a time,
gentlemen Don't crush 80, please
Take your time! There's plenty
of room! !"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02
POETRY
IN THE CATACOMBS.
BY ii. ii. BALLARD.

Never lived Yankee yet
But was ready to bet
On the U. S. A.
If you speak of Italy's sunny cline,
Maine kin beat it, every timeln
Ii you tell of Etna's fount of fire,
I on rouse his ire.
In an injured way
He'll probably say,
" don't think much of a smokin' hill
we've got a moderate little rill
Kin make yer old volcaner still;
Iour old Niagary down the crater,
N guess twill cool her fiery mater.
You We doubtless heard of those ancient
lies,
Manufactured for a prize;
The reputation of each rose higher
AS he proved himself the biggest liar.
Said an Englishman :"Only t'other day
Sailing from Dover to Calais,
l saw a man without float or oar,
Swimming across from the English
si0rc,
Manfully breasting the angry sea"
" Friend" " said the Yankee, that toa,
me ~
Mindful of all the thrice told tales,
whenever Y ankee to Europe sails,
The people try every sort of plan
To rouse his astonisbment. If thew can
Sam Brown was a fellow from "way
down East
Who never was staggered in the least.
No tale of marvellous beast or bird
Could match the stories he had heard.
NO curious place or wondrous view
as ekill to Podunk, l tell yu.n
They showed him a room where queer
had slept;
4" "Twan't up to the tavern daddy kept. ,
They showed him Lucerne. But he had
drunk
From the beautiful Mollichunkamunk
They took him at last to ancient Rome
And inveigled him into catacomb.
Here they piled him with draughts of
wine
(Though he vowed old cider was twice
as fine)
Till the fumes of Falernian filled his
head,
And he slept as sound as the silent dead
They removed a mummy to make him
room,
And laid him at length in the rocky
tomb.
They piled old skeletons round the stone,
Set dip" in candlestick of bone,
anu ISlO w dIOIlc.
Then watched, from distance, the ia.
per's gleam,
Waiting to jeer at his frightened scream
When he should awake from his drunken
dream.
After time, the Yankee awoke,
But instantly saw through the tlimsy
joke;
So never Il cry or Il shout he uttered,
But solemnly rose and slowly muttered
" see how it is. It's the judgment day.
We've all been dead and slowed away
All these stone furrIner' s sleepin' yet,
An I'm the fust one up, you bet!
Can't none o you Romans start Say,
come
United States is ahead, l yum ~
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02
MISCELLANEOUS.
At the Club.
THE MYSTERIOUS PRIVATE"

THE MYSTERIOUS PRIVATE"
Perhaps 1t was partly her fault, or
maybe it was all his fault. Anyway
they had just had quarrel, one OF
those unpleasant little affairs in
which neither one or the other will
give in or acknowledge being in the
wrong but thinks it the duty of the
other, equally blameless participant,
of course to first say, 81 am sorry .'i
And it was their first quarrel, too.
Then he falls back to the old resort
and says, " Pm going to the club. -
He gets his hat and coat and is about
to open the door to step out, when
she half repents and asks him not to
go, but to stay at home with her,
lat least one evening in the week -
But he Is either obstinate to her ap-
peal or does not hear her, for he
closed the door with bang and left
her alone, to return, perhaps at mid
night, perhaps at dawn. Then she
takes the usual course, throws her
self on q lounge and cries.
He goes directly to the club
There he meets a few of his friends
and they sit down for a smoke, pre-
paratory to the nights excitement
at the poker table. Thus they sit
for perhaps half an hour, when the
entrance of rather fat individual
seems to create quite a commotion
among the smokers. He is besieged
on the right and left to come and
join them in their smoke, and Rob-
ert Langdon wonders who is the
rather stout individual who enjoys
such popularity. "Major Hunt, one
of the most capital story tellers we
have had for some time" answers
one Of his friends, in reply to the
laughing query of Langdon. "Wait
until you hear one Of his stories !;
you will think so, too"
Major, this is my friend Lang
DON"
The Majcr has hardly made him.
self comfortable before he ia asked
to tell one Of his stories, and after a
while yields to the entreaties of the
crowd and begins:
"There is not an army post in the
country nor In the world, which has
uOt SOIDe IIttl5 TOmunC6 inter-
woven in its history. But one which
especially remember Is one in
which the faithfulness of a woman,
as will call it, played such an i'm
portant part as to fix the story in
my mind forever.
1t was about five years ago, at a
Western fort, that this incident hap
pened. We had there young pri-
vate who came from the East some.
where. / never did find out ex-
actly where he did come from, and
have even forgotten his name now.
He seemed to be an indifferent sort
OF fellow, rarely joining the rest
OF the men in their larks, and keep
ing pretty much to himself. He
was a handsome young man, too,
nearly six feet tall, if.I remember
correctly. 1t was his mysterious
manners which made us wonder
what he did with himself during
his spare moments-that Is, when
his time was not required by Un.
Gle Sam. We tried in vain to find
out. All that we could ever learn
of him was that he was always In
his mess room during these inter.
walls, and his companion soldiers
there said, He reads and reads al
the time,' that's all. Army life did
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02
WORK OF SUPERERoGAT1oN.-

WORK OF SUPERERoGAr1oN.-
DR.. Macknight, Scotch clergyman
who was the author of severeal
books upon religious subjects, had,
among his Pensioners a blacksmith
who thought the the DOCTORS writ
ing learned books was a great mis-
take and sad waste Of time. One
day this blacksmith was asked by a
stranger if DR.. Macknight was then
at the manse. INA, na," replied
the blacksmith, with a shake Of his
shaggy head, "the mons gone to
Edinbro on vera Useless job" The
doctor had gone off to the printers
with his learned and valuable work
called 1.-THE Harmony of the Four
Gospels" The stranger inquired
curiously what the useless lob,
was. "Aweel," said the blacksmith
looking at his questioner sharply to
see If his answer met with the ap-
probation 1t merited, "he's gone to
to maxi four men agree wha ne'er
cast out ~
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02
NUMBER 80.

of machines; then taking a fresh
supply Of Cavendish, he squared
himself in his chair, with his hands
in his pockets and held forth In this
fashion:
Waal, stranger" he said, "your
machine may be all right but now,
see here. l settled here i'm the airly
ffties, broke the trail for the last
few miles, blazin' the trees as we
came along. had fair start, good
health, yoke o. cattle, a cow, an
ak, with one bit an three coppers
in my pocket. l built log house
with a shake ruff an puncheon
floor an cow-shed of popple poles
ruffed with sod. L worked hard, up
airly and down late, clearin' up land
by degrees an diggin' livin' out o.
the sile by main strength an no fa-
vors except the blessin' o. the AL
mighty. The Lords been good to
me. Ha gin me houses an barns;
He's gin me horses and cattle; He's
gin me sheep an swine an feathered
fowl of many kinds. AM now,
stranger, after all that, I'll be ever
lastin'ly burned if I'll be so mean
as to ask Him to pump water for
'em."
And then, he brought his hand
down on his knee with whack that
fairly echoed through the house.
OF course l couldn't urge him to
purchase after that expression of
his sentiments and l left him. In
wasn't hep"
Then the windmill man chuckled,
as if he enjoyed the memory of the
scene he had just described; and his
hearers enjoyed his story. so much
that when he left he was richer by
three or four orders.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02
POETRY.
" "kANAWHA."
BY LUCIE DANA sNEDAKER.

B1 LIClE DANA SNEDAkE Err,
Let others sing
OF the grand old Rhine
In the fairy land
or the beautiful vine
Or chant of Italia's
Sunny streams,
OF which every poet
And painter dreams
No river for me
Such a charm can wear
AS the rippling Kanawba,
With its valley so fair,
Many streams have a sOngster
To warble their fame.
But no one has chanted
Kanawha's dear name
Then list all ye friends
or the bright flowing river,
And thank the good Father,
The bountiful Giver,
That your lot has been cast
On it's beautiful shore,
With its visions Of future,
Its legends of yore
Its loved banks are clad
In Verdure and bloom
While far up its course
Grand rocks and cliffs loom
Its mountains are filled
With treasures untold,
Which, by digging them out,
Are turned into gold.
SO that beauty and grace,
With grandeur and power,
King Nature has lavished
Upon it for dover.
No stream ever sported
Such cascades and falls,
Nor e'er wandered through
Such picturesque walls
FOaming and leaping.
And dancing all day
AS over the rapids
Is thrown the white spray
With rocks and glens,
From the mountains high,
Pour out their treasures
Its wants to supply
Glide on! On, sparkling river,
Tho unknown to fame
" kanawha" may yet
BE classical name!
Thy mountains and valleys,
With their wealth untold
May yet be precious
For else than their gold.
And a wreath of laurels
kanawba shall wear
kanawha," the beautiful
The loyed and the fair
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

He OUTsoT THE MULE.-As the
road turned around the hill I came
upon mule, q cart and man. The
wheels Of the cart had sunk into q
mudhOle, and the mule stood with
head down and ears working to and
fro. AS for the man, he lay on his
back in the shade of a tree and
seemed to be taking solid comfort.
What's the matter ?" asked, as
he sat up and looked at me.
Mewl has balked," he slowly re-
Piled.
"YOu mean that he has refused to
pull the cart out of the mud?"
'Zactly."
But its big load and a small
mule," | urged. "Why don't you
give him some help?"
It's agin my principles. I've
yelled at him and I've licked him
till Pm tired, but I'll be doggoned
if take anything off that load or
boost that cart! No, sab; we stay
right yere till the pesky critter gifts
up and humps hisself and pulls the
cart out o. the mud -
Then you're in no hurry ?" |
queried.
No, sab, no hurry tall" he re-
piled as he hitched back to get more
shade. My son Dan is blowing
out CON with the cow, the ole wo-
man is fixin' up the fences and I've
a gallon of whiskey and pound OF
terbacker in the cart. It's a ques.
ton Of bein' sot, and if I can't sot
longer'n thirty dollar mewl then
I'D better move out Of Alabamy."
Five days later l met the man al
Greenville and asked him how the
sotness" came out.
"Oh, yes." he replied with a grin
Waal, l camped right thar ful
two days and nights, a'singin hymns
and restin' up an havin' a good
time. an then that mewl, a-seein
that when it cum down to sotness
he wasn't in 1t with me, took right
holt an pulled the cart outer the
mud and galloped all the way homep
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

LANDLORDS of some modern sky
scraping tenements sympathize with
Hamlet's comment on the world
fiat and unprofitable.'
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

FATHER--I don't believe that
young Simmerkins has sense enough
to come i'm when it rains.
Cholly-Aw, you don't know him
That man Gavin tie his own tie.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

Do not wait for an extraordinary
circumstance to do good; try to use
ordinary situations.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02
THE MONROE DOCTRINE AND THE
PRESIDENTS MESSAGE.

JUDGE RoBT. w. HUGHES, OF vIR-
GINA, GIVES HIS OPINION OF
THE QUESTIONS PENDING BE
TWEEN THIS COUNTRY AND ENG
LAND.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-02

HE will fill orders at reasonable
IL prices. STEAM SAW-MJLLS
at Hart's Run, Greenbrier county, and
DInlap, Allegheny county, Va.
Jommissaly Stores Kept on hand.
Postoffices- White Sulphur Springs
Greenbrier Co., w. Va, and Gala
ghan's, Allegheny Co., Va.
Feb. 2S-IY.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1896-12-22
Two More Dead

Wheeling, Dec 22-Two more victims
have been added to the list of dead
from drinking a substitute for whisky
at Benwood, Monroe county, o., Satur-
day evening last. This makes the total
list of dead five. Those dead yesterday
were Colonel Clegg, brother of Thomas
Clegg, who died Saturday night from
the same cause, and Henry Roth. In
the stomach Of Siebert, one Of the vic
Tins who died Saturday night, arsenic
was found. The bodies Of those who
have expired turned black and COM
menced to decompose shortly after
death. The authorities of Cameron
county are investigating the case, and
hope soon to locate the blame.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1896-12-22

After :ong days Of angry SEQ and shy
The magic isle rose mp from out the blue
Like mirage. vague dimly seen at drst.
AZ nrst seen dimiy through the mist. and then
Groves Of acacia. slender. leaning stems
OF paim trees weighted with their starry
fronds.
Airs that at dawn had from their slumber
risen
In bowers Of spices, between shelving banks.
river through whose limpid crystal cleaned.
Four fathoms down, the silvery, rippled sand.
Upon the bluff q square red tower and roofs
OF cocoa hber lost among the boughs.
Hard by q fort with crumbled parapet.
These took the fancy captive ere we reached
The longed for shores Then swiftly In our
thought
We left behind US the new world and trod
The old, and in sudden vision saw
Columbus wandering from court to court,
A mendicant with kingdoms In his hands.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich in Century.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1896-12-22
Non-Union Cabmen Assaulted.

New York, Dec. 22.-The striking cab.
men of the New York Cab company be-
came desperate yesterday and mobbed
several conveyances, which were
manned with union drivers. Mrs
Adrian Iselin boarded one of the com.
pany's cabs, which was driven by non
union man. All went well until the cat
came opposite Twenty-third street
when a crowd Of strikers collected
shouting and yelling. The lady put hel
head out OF the carriage and called fol-
assistance, but her voice was unheard
amid the shouts Of the strikers.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1896-12-22
FREE CURE FOR MEN.
4 lriahigan Ma. Onsrs - Send HI DE
oovery Froe.
Clsins to Be . Benefsctor Ito wesAsned
Mankind.

There n always more or less supicion at
sometimes Q man so overfiows with gem
erosity that he cannot rest until his DIS
covery 10 known to the world, In order
that mis- fellow men may profit by Whist
no has discovered. It is upon this prinei-
pal that q resident of Kalamazoo, Mich.,
desires to send free to mankind prescrip-
tion which will cure them OF any form OF
doubt and uncertainty which such men
are peculiarly liable to and restores tho
organs to natural size and vIeor. As 10
costs nothing to try the experiment u
would seem that any man, suffering with
the nervous troubles that usually attack
men who never stopped to realize what
might be the final result, ought to be
deeply interested In remedy which Will
restore them to health, strength and vigor,
without which they continue to live an
existence OF untold misery. As the remedy
In question was the result Of many years'
research as to what combination would be
peculiarly effective In restoring to men
the strength they need, 1t would seem that
al men suffering with any form of nerv-
GUS weakness ought to write for such q
remedy at once. A request to ii. e. Olds,
Box 1,625, Kalamazoo, dich., stating that
you are not sending for the prescription
out OF Idle curiosity, but that you wish to
make use OF the medicine by giving 1t q
trial, will be answered promptly and with
out evidence as to where evidence came
from.
though some may wonder how Mr.. Olds
can afford to give away his discovery,
there Is no doubt about the offer being
genuine Cat this out and send to Mr..
Olds so that he may know how you came
TO write to him.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1896-12-22
Rancroft's Life Work.

Bancroft devoted nearly 30 years to his
History of the United States" which Is
not history OF tho United States at all,
since IL ends where the history of the coun-
try properly begins Had the work been
continued ON the same scale down to the
present, 70 or 30 volumes would have been
required.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1896-12-22
ministers discuss sunday Papers.

Hartford, Dec. 22.-The weekly meet
ing of the clergymen Of Hartford was
held yesterday. and the topic for dis
cussion was the Sunday newspaper.
The principal paper was read by Rev.
Frank Dixon. pastor of the Third Bap-
tist church, and in the course of his re-
marke he took occasion to defend the
Sunday papers. He said substantially:
THE Sunday newspaper contains what
the public demands, and IL the public
Is not satisfied IL should make other de-
mandA Then, and not until then, will
the Sunday paper change"
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1896-12-22
Manchester Carpenter killed.

Manchester. N. H.. Dec. 22.-Royal w.
Fulton, carpenter, fell from staging
yesterday afternoon while at work on
q building and fractured his skull, from
the effcts Of which he died shortly after
ward. He was 30 years of age and single,
and had lived here only a few Yeas
coming hers from Stratford, VT, where
he has brother and sister living.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1896-03-12

SHAMoKGN, Pa, March 12.-Jacob Still
wagner of Boydtown, claims to have dis
covered a sister through tho efficacy of
prayer. He was separated from his brother
and two sisters in the west when he was
but years old. Last fall while crossing
the mountain to Shamokin he knelt in the
forest and prayed fervently for a trace of
his missing relatives. A few weeks later,
1t is claimed, one of his sisters and her
home in Wisconsin were revealed to him
in dream. He went west and became
thoroughly convinced the woman was his
long missing sister. NJ. Stillwagner is
hopeful of finding traces of his other miss
ing sister and his broth. by the same
means