Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-03-04

Hy ". L. Alden.l


There IL one thing" said the colonel.
as We were walking along the Strand one
evening, Sin which London is bshind the
age. and that is in the matter OF electric
| lighting. Take my own town Of New
Bermopolsville. II hasn't more than $500
inhabriants. but there isn't a gas-lamp in
| the whole place. except in a few houses.
| The streets and most OF the houses are
all lighted with electricity. and |
shouldn't be surprised to find when / get
home again that our people were doing all
| their cooking and house warming by cleo
/ trio heat. Why you Britishers stili stick
to gas as you do is something that i
| cannot account for
Did ever tell you about old Professor
Van WAGNER and his electric inventions?
Well. this looks like respectable bar
room, and, II you say 80, Wen stop In
and have little something, and I'll tell
you about the Professor. lie was one OF
our most remarkable men, and, though
the general public doesn't know II. he
did more for the cause OF electricity than
almost any man in America, except Edi-
son.
About two years ago." began the Colo
nell as he slipped his hot Scotch, anu trieu
in vain to tilt back on its imaginary hind
legs the sofa on which we were sirting'
as most folks thought, on the subject OF
electricity Incandescent lamps were MS
particular style of lunacy. and he made
I'D his mind that he wouldn't have any
other sort OF light in his house. You see
his sight was beginning TO get little dim'
which made him dissatisfied with gas;
| and then he had knocked over MS kero-
sene-lamp-paraffn. / believe you can IL
| over here, though j don't see what rlsht
| you have to invent new names Tor Things
we Americans have named-nalf uozeh
times, and had come so near TO settlhs
| the house on fire that he was anxious 10
get rid OF kerosene altogether. Iheh,
again. he believed that electricity would
be a good deal cheaper than gas. pro-
vided 1t was properly managed; and I'm
inclined 10 think that he was right. Any
| way. he told Mrs. Van Wagner mat ne
was going TO furnish the house win IN
candescent-lights, and that she might sen
her kerosene lamps and her gas-ilxtures.
| for what they would bring
NOW this old professor was not only
an ingenious man, but he was practicai
man, which is something that a professor
very seldom is. He saw that II was al
| q mistake 10 have lights fixed in one place
as eas-burners are, or TO have them car
ried about by hand like ordinary lamps
or candles. Peripatetic lamps are what
we want said he. which, i suppose
means lamps fastened on the top OF our
heads. though I admit that l don't know
any German TO speak or. 30 the pro-
fessor as soon as he had taken the
gas-fxtures out of the front nan, h'teu
an incandescent-light on the top OF tne
head of the housemaid. and supplied IL
from a storage-battery that was cohcealeu
under the girls black hair. When there
for
hall IL was left In darkness, but when
ever anybody rang at the front door the
maid lust turned up her light and an
svered the bell. She was rather
pretty girl. and she made a fine effect
with her lamp glowing on the top OF her
head and lighting up her face In way
that would have made an ugly race pretty
hard to bear. When she showed VISITORS
into the parlor, she would walk In front
OF them, lighting the way, and everybody
declared that she was "A long way supe-
rior to the best hall-light that had ever
been previously known.
Then the Professor fitted light IN
the inside Of his silk hat. and cut open
ings in the hat, TO let the light shine
through. In front of the hat was WIN
dow Of plain glass; on the right side was
one of green glass, and on the LETT siae
one Of red glass. You see, the Professors
idea was that his lights would snow
which way he was heading when he went
out on the street after dark. Any man
who knows the rule OF the road said ne
/ will know by the color OF my lights
which way | am heading, and can keep
out of my way This was very convent
ent for the OLD gentleman. Tor. as l nave
said. his sight was rather dim, letting
alone the fact that he had one glass-eye,
and this being the case. he often ran INTO
peopIe and horses and things when ne
was out after dark. He made n GOOD deal
of a sensation the first time he appeared
on our broadway with his headlight ana
his sidelights burning their brightest, anu,
as was natural, he had pretty Dig crown
following him. The policemen were III
tie doubtful about the thing at the start
for a policeman always thinks that any
thing that Is new must be unlawful. How
ever, the Professor was so generally re-
spected that even the policemen hesitated
TO club their ideas into his head.
professor Van Wagner had daugh-
ter who was mIddling popular with the
Young men, although she didn't know
an awful lot OF mathematics ana chem-
istry OF course. her father htted her'
as he did everybody else in the mouse.
with an electric headlight: but the girl
wasn't very well pleased with it, When
n
would turn herself on and light him
into the back parlor, where they would
sit together and talk. But, somehow,
the young men never seemed TO make
much progress after Miss Saliie was
lighted by electricity. Whether II was
that no fellow likes to have an electric
light resting on his shoulder. or wheth-
er 1t was because there was no way
of turning the light down till II would
in,
when Il il turned down by an intelli-
gent girl I can't say; hut the result
OF the thing was that Sallie didn't get
a single offer from the day her father
lit her up with the incandescent light.
At first she begged him TO let her have
a kerosene light, and when he wouiint
do il she cried a good deal, and said
that he wanted her TO die an old maid.
That's what would have probably have
happened II it hadn't been for the in
tel,igence OF a young man who came TO
see her before the winter was quite over
and brought a candle with him every
time. Sallie would light the candle and
then turn herself off for the rest Of the
evening, and she gathered in that young
man the very second time he called at
the house.
professor Van WAGNER had a cat
that he considered to be an animal Of
considerable taste for science. ana no.
thing would satisfy him till he had pro-
vided the cat with an electric headlight.
He had considerable difficulty In fasten-
ing the light on the cats head, for, al
though she had always seemed to take
a good deal OF interest In watching him
experimenting with different sorts of
things in his chemical laboratory. che
drew the line at electricity and objected
to being lighted up like the rest OF the
people in the house. However, the Pro-
lessor wouldn't listen to her: and the
first night that the lamp was In working
ordnr M fha cat In the klIchGu