Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1896-02-12

If that word Boer you would pronounce
And find your tongue is balky,
Just speak it as they probably
Pronounce it in Milwaukee.
Chicago Tribune.
Teacher-What was Joan of Arc mala
of? Pupil-Made of dust.-Boston Tran.
script.
He-If l could but be installed in
your heart as" She-My heart is no
installment house" -Cincinnati En-.
quirer.
Mrs. Watts-I am afraid you don't
love work. Dismal Dawson-Deed do.
mum, but | am so bashful.-Indianap.
oils Journal
Teacher-So, George, you were named
after George Washington, were your
Young George-Yes' m; some time after,
-Roxbury Gazette.
Mrs. Wigwag-I hope you liked the
cigars l gave you, dear. And, by the
way, had them charged. Wigwag-
What with ?-Philadelphia Record.
How do you pronounce the last syl.
liable of that word 'butterineT" asked
the customer "The last syllable Is 81.
lent" stiffiy replied the grocer's clerk
Chicago Tribune.
Young doctor-Do you have much diff.
ficulty in making your patients do what
you want them to do? Old doctor-Yes;
particularly when | send in my bills
Philadelphia Press.
Friend-It must be awful to have the
newspapers keep saying such things
about you. Political candidate-Yes
but supposing they didn't say anything
at all!-Somerville Journal.
Professor-The ancients used palms
as an emblem of capture and victory.
Smart STUDENT suppose that's why
the moderns use them so extensively
at weddings.-New York Herald.
"Been married seven times, has he?
Is he a man of leisure otherwisew "Oh,
no! He's Woodworking tailor" "What
remarkable instance of the survival
of the f1ttist. Chicago Tribune.
Alas, it's eighteen ninety-six
And bashful man must falter;
For woman now with clever tricks
VIII speed him to the altar.
Chicago Record.
"Shoes were BACKED as early as the
tenth century" says an exchange. AM
1t might have added that many of then
look as though they had never been
BACKED since.-Boston Transcript
Horse Gyp-Are you satisfied that the
team 1 sold you is well matched? Vic
tim-Yes, they're well matched. One Is
willing to work, and the other is salts
fed to let him.-Philadelphia Record
Does the old fellow have money"
81 rather think So" makes show,
does hep" "Oh, no-but his daughter,
who Is 35 years old, and awfully ugly,
was married last week. &c othamite.
"We have no use for bear STORIES"
said the editor. "Our readers demand
something spicy" WELL" said the
man with the manuscript, "this story
Is about a cinnamon bear."-Sports
Afleld.
Softleigh-The widow Passe proposed
to me last night. Sappehead-Really!
| What did you say? Softleigh-Told her
I'd be son to her. You see, her daugh-
ter got there first-Philadelph Rec
ord.
Hoax-The building committee has
just met, and we're going to have a new
story at our club. Joax-Goodl I've
worked the old club stories so much my
wife don't believe them any more
Philadelphia Record.
isn't that Miss Smedley? l thought
she was sick. Somebody told me DR..
Pankey had given her up" well, DO
did sort o. give her up, but not till afts
he had tried five or six times to get
her."-Chicago Tribune.
"These women CHEFS" sighed the SUI
perannuated caterer, pushing the plate
AWAY from him, Ought to stick to pol
tics and business and let mans work
alone. They can't cook worth dern.
Chicago Tribune.
"Oh, DEAR" sighed Mrs. Cumso as she
tossed about in bed, Pm suffering
dreadfully from insomnia" go to
sleep and you'll be all right" growled
Mr.. Cumso as he rolled over and began
to snore again.-Judge.
Those high resolutions, SO fierce and SO
fiery,
Now flicker and pale to the hue of
ghost;
Already the keeping of that '96 diary
Is becoming burden, bore and a
roast.
indianapolis Journal
Yeast-I wish this restaurant fellow
would print his bill of fare in English,
SO a fellow could tell what he Is eat
Ing. Crimsonbeak-Good gracious!
Do you want the fellow to lose all his
trade ?-Yonkers Statesman.
Physician-You lie awake In bed
three or four hours every night? That
Is bad. l shall have to treat you for
chronic insomnia. Caller (whose salary
Is "a a week)-Er-no, doctor; don't
think It's as bad as that. I simply cant
sleep,-Chicago Tribune.
| Rostonian-It is fortunat e thing for