Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-02-27

The man who can control
The blizzard signal is not ne
Who runs the price Of coal
Washington Star.
"You told me you and Harry Lowell
at sight" Yes, but we Quarrc!ed al
acquaintance TRUTH.
He (gallantly)-l couldn't kiss any
one but you, dear! Shelf that's the
case, you can't kiss me.-San Francisco
Wave
Baroness, have you heard lis it
a secret, your Excellency:" Yes"
"rhen l have heard Of it. t1iegen;!e
Blaetter.
Jones--Smith is in business for HIM
self, isn't he? BroWn-For himself?
Well, 1 should say he is in business for
the benefit of an extravaganza family
Brooklyn Life.
Minnie-I never noticed before that
this mirror had Il wrinkle in it, Mamie
I thought you were able to see wlD-
kles in any mirror you looked into
Indianapolis Journal.
IF | only knew whether thg police
man is standing there because nothing
is happening, or whether nothing is
happening because he is standing
therev--ITliegende Blaetter.
'All the good things have been said" j,
Staylate murlnured with sigh;
Mabel yaWned and shook her head
''WeN, suppose You try 'good-by.
Louisville Courirr-J ournal.
Gadzooks-We don't seem to hear
anything nowadays about the coming
woman. IoundS--No. because she has.
already come. ana is now Off on her
Wheel-NeW lo,'k Tribune.
Watts-Tlere seems to be some truth
in the saying that heaven helps thos"
who help themselves. Potts---Of course
there is. They are the only kind worth
helping. -IndianapoliS Journal.
How is your daughter getting OF
with the piano, Nunson? "First-ratc
She can play with both hands now.
She says she will be able to play with
her ear in six months. ''-Househol,
Words
Uncle Iays-'Mcmbcr the Hawkins
boys who ran away to jine a thcatcr
company? Aunt Marthy-Why, yes!
What about ern? Uncle Hays Quiet
ly)-They've walked back-Cincinnat
Enquirer.
The leap year valentine, they say
but who shall trust in rumorsO
Will bring out Cupid, bright and gay
Upon a bike, in boomers.
Washington Star.
Biggs- | am so stout that I know
| exercise would do me lots of good
Tams-Then why don't you get out and
shovel that snow off the walk? Biggs
That's not exercise, that's work..
Truth.
II say, Bellevue, lend me $40, will
your You have struck me at the
| most unfortunate time of the year,
Manchester" 'How So" February
is the shortest month."-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph
It's all right, we suppose, to say that
man is homely enough to stop train,
but he'll find he's not homely enough
to stop it if he has arrived at the sta
ton a minute after it has started
Yonkers Statesman.
| will not have said May.
"Of course 'tWould cure them, you sees
'Twould keep the chaps away"
-Harper's Bazaar.
Patient-That sign OF yours is not
very encouraging. Dentist-Why so?
guarantee to extract teeth without
| pain. Patient-Yes; but l want the
pain extracted. I'd rather keep the
| tooth.-Philadelph Record.
Il wonder how warm the room is
said Bloohumpcr. Benny, 20 and look
at the thermometer The little boys
consultation must have been very I'M
satisfactory for he said, presently, 'the
thermometer isn't going. Truth
First new woman Cat the c1ub)-What
makes you SO blue? Second ditto-My
| father-in-laW has come to STAY with us.
ana John and he sit at their knitting
al day, ana cry about my treatment
OF John-Philadelphia Record.
! The brakemans AL aboard!'' ere long
Will be of little worth.
When from the airship rings the song,
Come, all get off the earthr'
| Truth
i must get a book of etiquette" said
Maud. What for?" inquired Mamie.
Il want to find out what Senatorial
courtesy is "Oh, heard my father
| talking about that. [ know what that;
is. lisa rule by which every Senator
is forbidden to interfere when they
get to disgracing one another. Wash
ington Star.