The Irish standard., 1896-02-22
IRISH WIT AND .HUM0R
Sayings Of Father Healy, One Of the
Brightest Wits Of His Time.

5
Bray, in the diocese Of Dublin, Ireland
In our day, Father Healy filled the posi-
| ton which the celebrated Irish Francis
can. Father O'Leary, once filled in Irish
and English society. 1t may, indeed, be
doubted whether all his radiant fancy
and irrepressible humor Father Healy
possessed the flashing wit and vivid inn
agination of Father O'Leary. 1t was as
a marvellous mimic that the illustrious
son of the City Of the Tribes, Father
Tom Burke, of the order of preachers, ex-
celled in social way. Of the patriotic
Irish Dominican, regarded as preacher
| it may. indeed, be SAID in the words OF
Lord Byron in regard to Sheridan:
"His was the thunder, his the ayenging
rod
The wrath and delegated voice of God,
| That shook the nation through his lips
and blazed
Till vanquished Britons trembled as they
praised!
The flash of wit, the bright intelligence,
The beam of song, the blaze Of eloquence
Set with their sun, but still have left be-
6: hind ST.. - .s.:%.,s:...
| The glorious product of immortal mind.
Eminent were the gifts and erudition
of the, Irish Lacordaire. his social charm
was the joy of all who knew him.
From the recently published Memoirs
of Father James .Healy. P. p, by the la
mented w. ]. Fitzpatrick we Gull few
saying of the lamehted Father in order
to give our readers taste OF his quality
as a wit and .humorist:
A1ocal magnate z gave. a gentleman's $
dinner, and Father Healy,~ having or
dered. the cabman to call for him at 10 p.
m, was panied to observe, OIL leaving
the hall door, thathis jehu was not quite
sober Drunk again. Peter" muttered
the good priest. well, to tell you the
truth yer. reverence, I'm little that
way myself.
/ Father Healy was much amused by
the comment of the carman on Monsig-
nor subsequently CardinaD Perisco.
Hasn't. he got an eye like a coortin'
hawk ?"~The Padre, however, was as
guarded in reply as Perisco himself.
"Never having seen one in that inter-
esting condition. / cannot say"
There was barber Of whose trembling
hand the Father had story. There,
now, you have got me! All, whisky,
whisky "Yes, yer reverence replied
the ready witted operator, 'it do make
the skin tender, don't it?"
One evening, at Lord Justice Fitzgib
bon's Lord Randolph Churchill paid a
subtle compliment to Father Healy in a
style essentially his own: cts well for
us Protestants that all the priests are
not like you'" He often uttered cyni-
cisms, and some persons looked grave,
not knowing what was coming. "How
so?'' said the. priest. Because in that
case we'd all become Catholics" replied
Lord Randolph
OF the clark" and Bloody Balfour,
whose brother is now chief secretary for
Ireland, and who greatly admired Father
Healy, we have the following:
Mr.. Ba,four, during the darkest days
of coercion, once asked Father Healy:
1'Do you think, Father Healy, that the
people really belive am everything that
am represented to be by their leaders
and, by the press?'' Well to tell the
truth; Mr.. Balfour," was the reply ''if
the Irish people only hated the devil half
as much as they hate you, my occupation
would be gone"
MIR. Gladstone, then prime minister,
was charmed with Father Healy.~
The prime minister kept Father
James to speak to him when the others
left, and on the priest saying: II Won
der, sir, how you get time and power to
jects that they pursue with so much la
bor,'' he replied, "Ah, Father Healy I
was not made up for YOU
Here are few flashes of Father
Healy's wit and humor that irradiate' Mr..
Fitzpatrick's geographic biography: :;
Like O'Connell and Chief Baron
O'Grady, afterwards Lord Guillamore,
there was famous Irish judge who
plumed himself on his millifuous AGENT,
thoroughly racy of the soil. He told
Father Healy that he had been to we'd
ding and had thrown g. shoe after the
bride s'You might as well have thrown
your brogue after her." was the reply.
The poet, Mr.. Mccarthy, said that he
was going to the ancient territory of
Desmond to attend grand celebration.
*'All the McCarthy's will attend, in
Guiding the Mccarthy More he said.
= I'm glad this coercion act is safely
through said we'll knowa timber mer
chant to him in 1887. "It's good thing
for your business said Father. Healy;
''planl1 beds. will go up
A hypochrondiac priest from the coun
try, who was staying at Bray in the hope
of obtaining relief from chronic dyspep-
sia, took walk along the beach with
Father Healy. II have derived relief
from drinking tumblerful of salt water
fresh from the tide he said. do you
think.I might venture to take second?"
Father Healy put on the solemn express
sion as his considering cap,' and at
last he, said. "Well, | don't think a second
would be missed"
OF the infamous Judge Keogh, the re-
creant Catholic Nationalists, who, like
Judas 1scariot and Castlereagh, perished
,miserably by his own hand, we. are told:
The judge, observing that Father
Healy was not quite himself on some To-
cal occasion previous to the hearing of
the Cailen case, sought to rally him, and
at last said: "That rufian Butt is sure
to ask you if you know me. What reply
are you prepared to give?" The kindly
answer came, Il will appeal to the bench,
saying, MY lords, am bound to crimi-
nate mysef?'"
.tMy dear Healy," said Keogh once, with
a very serious face, "I'll do anything you
wish-onay name it. s1'll turn Turk or
Mohammedan if it only serves you"
Turn Catholic replied Father Healy.
There is a '.curiosa felicitas'' in the
annexed:
Mrs v, a lady of good social status,
whose first husband WAS military Off