The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-06-06
1deas for GMornem.

L--@-
The profuse and unnecessary apologies
with which certain fassy h~ousekeepers
are sure TO greet their unexpected guests
are so very Objectionable that they have
led to the opposite extreme, and we are
advised never 10 apologize, never to call
to what might otherwise be
overlooked by the guest. But it is best
not to go tos either extreme. Pens and
pens are taken up and line upon line
written in advocacy of the ~non-apology
course in all things pertaining to house
mold arrange ments, or more properly, dis
ARRANGEMENTS.
For instance, If by chance an untime-
ly caller finds you in the kitchen robe
(Which, by the way, are liable not to
consist Of the regulation esnowy wrap
Per" with Observation-Disclosures
accompaninnents), you are cautioned to
let your lips be dumb as to offering an
apology. If your reception room is found
in a state of arrangement, say nothing of
it, seem rat to notice it. If a chance
unexpected guest finds a seat at your
table where no previous preparation has
been made for him, only for a meal en-
famlle. stin maintain silence out of
Difference to the feelings of your guest.
1t is said the savage seldom laughs
and rarely sheds tears and it might be
added, never offers an apology. . He
lacks the sensitiveness and fine sus-
capabilities. from which we sometimes
suffer,
By all means offer an apology or at
least an explanation if that word is less
unsavory-when and where we deem one
necessary; for, until we feel "set at
rights before our guests, we are. to a
certain degree, at an~tagonism with him
feeling at is natural we should. that
we are placed at a disadvantage in his
eyes.
Admitted hat on this question there
are extremes to be avoided, there is also
a delightful mean. upon whose plane
hostess and guest may meet with cor
Gal hand grasp. You may a
guest with apologies, or you may as
much overwhelm him with reticence in
regard to certain little modifying or
mitigating circumstances, to explain
which would relieve you of some of your
pent up modification, and would also
make for your guest an opening for re-
marks which would put both of YOU
at your ease: and yet it would not be
meet that he should notice or seem to
notice any little discrepancy in YOUR
household affairs.
If an apology be truthful and yet a
ring OF welcome runs beneath it. surely
your unexpected guest is not thereby left
in uncuiet He is not necessarily IN
welcome because you are not in shin
shape in all household details, or he
cause ne has found you right in tha
midst of the most trying part of house
Cleaning; and one of good sense and
good heart will not lend an unwilling
ear while you make him, thus far. vorr
condidant.
The msach7lamented s'old-time lhospi-
tally may wei charge. the non-apologv
hobby with being prime factor in it's
partial extinction. How often is one
allowed to stand at your door and knock
I'll he wearies and turns away. or the
ring in your door bell is left. UNDECIDED
because You. dare not admit a stranger
to your somewhat disarranged rooms nm
less Q might explain the cause. which
your inflexable adherence to this princi-
PIE forbsds you to do.
An instance comes to my mind which
Illustrates the extreme to which this net
theory IS sometimes allowed to carry one.
a iaoy OF my acquaintance, one who, by
the way. belongs to- the sswhite collar
iihe OF neutrality-suspicious. I say this with
cul intended disrespect to either the fra
ternlty or to herself, for she is in every
sense SO far as in a wornan's power lies.
d systematic housekeeper-but to where
nave 1 digTessed? Oh, yesi This ladv Of
whom | speak was one day engaged in
s9me kitchen work, for which, even she
with all her fine notions about white COL
iars ana exceedingly proper clothes, at
an tunes, deemed it advisable to don a
costume appropriate to the occasion (so
far sensibleD W
But after a while guests arrived. ..all
q guests, such as one is apt to have
Aiequentiy IN the country, and here comes
ne phase of this beautiful () sys-
i W.T. sne was a non-apologist to an
eAtfeihe'. All day she entertained in that
Aieeneh garp' though after their arrival
she a!d not find it necessary to return to
ene Aatchen. A friend who was spending
y rev Gays with her found opportunity.
@Iter a time, to say to her private1v:-.T
WIN take care of the baby and entertain
the guests if you wish while you make
your toilet"
indeed, I shall do no such thing" was
the response. NsThey found me tbis wav
ahd never apologize or make ny changes
~ my apparel after guests arrive
Nor did she. And I claim that she s,,f-
ierfd foolish martyrdom worthy Of 4
more sensible cause: for to one of her
tastes and keen sensitiveness on such
points Ut was nothing short of doing pen
ance for the sin of, having allowed her
sen 10 be found thus ROBBED. Undoubtedly
tne proper thing for her to have dome
IN justice to herself. and for the relief Of
poth herself and her visitors, was to ex-
piadn the situation, and next proceed "a
remedy what was at fault.
True, we should be prepared at all limos
TO meet an emergency. but the housekeen-
ef VINO can carry all lines of duty along
50 evenly as never to allow herself r. ~
taken unaware must. be something moro
than human. And if "a fault confessed
IS half redressed,' why may not tbe
h~ousekeeper resort to an apology as :
permissible redress for her?
They are very foolish who refuse the,,-
selves the relief afforded by a gracafull,,
II IN AI IL ~ 4 L