davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
Somebody Had to Suffer.

Whenever two white men by the
name of Andy Lucas and Blew Scrog-
gins shake hands and lock arms and
put their heads together to make the
time pass pleasant as they are wont
to say, somethin is more than probable
to drap, and somebody will have to
suffer.
Consequentially Deacon Joiner is
now ''off of his feet" and dead on his
legs" and laid up for repairs. Blew and
Andy they throwed out a trot line for
the deacon. They baited the hook with
love and moonshine and f~oolishness,
and the deacon he bit like a natural
born sucker. Then the boys they cut
the strings and let that poor old ma
float off, hopeless and helpless, down
the shaggy fork of Salt river.
Year before last a buxom, ~fne-lookin
wilder by the name of Misses Logan
moved into the settlement from omc
where's down in the stump hills. You
maybe mought not think it jest to look
at her, but the wilder has got five boys
at her house and they are all grown
IN a manner But SHE don't ever sorter
half way look it. She is as handsome
as q right young girl, and spry and
actious as a cat. She powders and
primps and dresses clean Out of sight,
whilst the ribbons and the laces, the
silks and the satins jest naturally
whistle as she walks along the big
road.
Fifteen years ago the hand of sor-
row and affection was laid rough and
heavy on the Joine. place, and the
deacon he was left a sad and lonely
widower in this wicked and weary old
world here below. After that the deacon
never did until about the time
when the Wilder Logan moved her.
washin into the settlement. But hence
forwards from that time the deacon put
on his best Sunday clothes reglar and
constant, got his hair dyed black and
brown in spots, o a small flower
garden on his manly chest, dispensed
with poetry to anybody that would
listen, and cut the pigeon wing around
the buxom wilder to beat creation.
Anybody and everybody could see
Eith one eye shet that the widder
wouldn't give four bits a dozen for
Deacon Joiner. No doubts but what
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
Hat Raising by Machinery.

The commissioner Of patents has
granted q patent to James c. Boyle, an
eccentric citizen of Spokane, Wash, for
what he calls "a saluting device" When
attached to the ordinary head it re-
lieves the of the manual labor Of
lifting his hat when he meets an ac-
q~uaintance and his hands r other
wise engaged. All he has to do to ac-
conplish this is to nod slightly. The
motion starts the machinery, which is
in the interior of the tile. Fhe hat 10
suddenly hoisted about one foot above
the head on an apparatus like that Mt
tached to a self-dumping coal cart
Then, after remaining at rest for a roo
ment, it describes a semi-circle sud
back upon the Uranium.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
The Storm Broke Loose.


On their return back home from
town that night Blev and Andy come by
our house to let me know that the "old
hen was on, with a full settin of eggs
and every egg full of devilment," and
she was more than probable to come of
the next day.
So, consequentially, it want no ways
rid by the next mornin, dressed in an
inch of his life and headed for the Wild
Ger Logan's. The deacon had on his
"double-action Winchester" coat, as
Aunt Nancy Newton would call it, and
cinnamon drops on his hair till blamed
if you couldn't smell him comm for
300 yards.
Deacon Joiner he rid on up there to
the Logan place. He hitched his mule
at the horse rack. He went bustlin into
the house. He saw the wilder. He
caught her. He helt her. He kissed.
Then the storm broke loose. Every.
thing that goes up must come down.
The wilder, she screamed. She tainted.
She fell down in it. Then the Logan
boys come into the game. They saw the
deacon. He had lost his nerve and was
burnin the wind for the horse rack.
They went out after him. They caught
him.
No, we didn't have no first-class
funeral pursuant to adjournment. But
when them Logan boys got through
with Deacon Joiner and left him out
there in the big road, me and Blew and
Andy had to hook up a one-horse wagon
and go and pick him up, tender like and
gentle and haul him back home. The
wilder she has nov went and got a
warrant out against Deacon Joiner
for assault with intent to murder. And
the deacon says, by all that's good and
bad, if he ever lives to git up from there
he will be forever done with at least two
men and all The women in creation.
But somebody had to suffer. OF
course it was wrong. Everybody knows
it was wrong, and I wouldn't even sorter
halfway make out like it was right.
But the good Lord made Deacon Joiner
and Blew Scroggins and Andy Lucas.
But after he made them three he never
did make any more exactly like them.
RUFUS SANDERS.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
V~ENEZUELA'S RICHES.
The Natural Resources of the Valley
the Orin0c0,

--
The Natural Resources of the Valley OF
the Orinoco,
The chief wealth of Venezuela con-
sists in products of the soil, natural and
cultivated. There are many coffee and
cacao plantations in the mountain val
leys near the cost, and coffee to the
value of $4,000, 900 is exported yearly,
which is double the value of all other
exports. Among the other cultivated
articles are manioc, sugar, c%ocoanuts,
maize Indian corn)J tobacco, wheat,
cotton, indigo, sweet potatoes and mel
ons. Canoes which ascend the upper
Orinoco and it's branches to the for
ested region of the southeast bring
down rubber, vanilla and tonka beans,
fruits, gums and drugs. The forests
are lch in cabinet and dye woods, useful
fiHfrs from which cordage and ham
mo cks are made, and a variety of other
products. The deadly arrJm. poison
called urari by the natives is 1n,tie in
the district south of the Orinoco.
The central plains of the republic
form a vast grazing range which sup
ports millions of horned cattle, horses
and asses. These herds are subject to
great vicissitudes; they were reduced
to a small fraction of their normal size
by the war for independence, and again
by the civil wars ending in 1863, while
vast numbers of horses and asses were
destroyed by a mnrrain which broke
out in 1913. Their numbers have, how
ever, been restored, and the stock has
been improved recently. Sheep and
goats are bred in the mountainous dis
1rict of the northwest, whence goat.
skins (known as Curacao kid are large
ly exported.-F. A. Fernald, in Apple.
tons Popular Science Monthly.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
The Deacon Takes the Bait.

So in them days it came to pass-6h
d Saturday and late along in the shank
of the evenin--that Blev and Andy and
the deacon all met up together OF the
road front t6wt. The weather hit was
"jest simply amphibious,' as Andy tells
it, with the flowers bloomin and the
birds singh and the sun shinin and the
bees hummin.
OFF l was playin your hand, DEACON"
says Bile Is they rid on together, ''by
gatlins l would play it to win, or [
would throw down the CARDS and quit
the game. Why don't you quit fddlih
and faolin and iiutterin around the
edges and go on and marry the wilder,
and let the agony blow over?"
"Them's my sentiments, Deacon"
put in the great horse trader. "1f d
horse can run and won't run. some-
body ought to pull his shoes off and turn
him out for crow bait"
"Weli, now, boys" says the deacon,
"you all know and everybody knows
that l I'm more than willin to proceed
with the proceedins if l could only tell
for certain when to come in. But, dad
blame it, the wilder is SO everlastin
high-headed and coltish-she pulls on
tile bits SO constant and so hard, till, by
gracious, 1 don't know where to break
through or how to start"
II Know what is the matter with you,
Deacon" says Blew; "blamed if you
aint skeered."
NO, l aint skeered," says the deacon.
II have seen more women than one in
my day and generation, boys, and tha
rustlin of a bunch of calico, with a
few silks and satins throwed in for good
measure, don't jar my hand a blessed
bit"
well, if you iint skeered, 1 can tell
you where to break in and how to take
holt" says Blew. "Climb into your best
Sunday higgins tomorrow and GO up
there and catch the wilder and hold her
and kiss her. Don't go to tbtaRs,n and
fumblin around till you lose yourherve.
but sail right in and nail her in the
spot"
"Then you can tell her that you dHln't
have your right mind-that youf'had
SIGH a monstrous bad case till yo,,1 taley
didn't know what you was dofhhl,n says
Andy by way Of a bracer.
Don't you do nothin of the sort,
Deacon" says Blew. "You tell her that
you jest naturally loved her so hard,
and SO fervent, and SO reckless till by
gatlins you couldn't help it."
"Dadburned if I don't do it," says the
Deacon, which by this time the boys
had worked him up to the stickin pint,
"Sink or swim, hit or miss, right or
wrong, survive Or surrender, I will go
and kiss the widdder."
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
ePeace on Earth"

"peace on Earth"
It aint for me to say for certain
whether they have got any religion to
speak Of down ct sid Flat Rock church
hut FROM general appearments it would
raley seem to me as if they must haye
a monstrous strange and suriy and pc
curious article of H.
Last Sunday was a week ago they
put in, they did. and had the most
Ecandaiatiohs church rumpus down
there that has ever come to pass in I'll
this skirt of the woods, It l5oks like
they have had two wings to that church
dor the loigest-the Tomlin wing and
she Skinner wing. The Tomlins they
wanted to do the foppin, and likewise
also the SINNERS. 1t was ptlil Dick,
pull devil, who should and who shouldn't
as between the two wings, and conse-
quently it was mighty scarce and sell
don that they would fsp together
peaceful and unanimous in the kindred
ties of church fellowship, as it were.
For two years past every 1.-THE I had
went down into the Flat Rock neighbor-
ho3d Seems to me like I could see a thin
skim of smoke on the air and smell
somethin burnin as from afar off. But
last Sunday the fire broke out and bust
loose right, and Flat Rock church went
to pieces in the general sinashup and
1onfusionment.
Now you mought not believe it if
J didn't tell you so, but the one little
thing which brung on that tremendous
church rucus was a motto with the
words-"Peace on Earth The women
folks had went to work and got up d
glorious big Sunday school celebration
The church was trimmed up rich and
promiscus from floor to rafters with
flowers that bloom in the spring. Man,
sir, there was flowers all around and
flowers everywhere, and that dear old
meetin house was a delightful sight
to see. But in the general flxments you
could shet n eye and see where the
two wings of the church-the Tomlin
wing and the Skinner wing-had tried
their level blamdest to see which could
flop the hardest and fly the highest.
Presently a covey of girls all dressed in
white came in bearin the big banner,
with the words-"Peace on Earth"
Sister Tomlin riz up and said they
would hang the banner on the left hand
wall. But Sister Skinner lowed they
would do nothin of the sort-thcy would
hang it up on the right hand wall. Well.
sir, from that the two wings got to
1oppin fast and furious-one on the
right side and one on the left. They
got madden and madden and hotter and
hotter, till finally at last the whole
shootin match went into rough and
tumble fight to settle the question as to
which was which and who was who.
OF course it was a plum scandalation on
the country for miles around, and |
wouldn't tell it If I didn't know the
news would leak out somewheres else.
but bless gracious In the general scrap
and scramble they pulled and snatched
and ripped and tore till they made doll
rags and strings out of that glorious
banner, with the motto and the words
Peace on Earth"
Mind yon, now-I don't even make
out like they haven't got plenty of re-
such as it. is, down there at Flat
Rock church. But it raley don't look
to me like they have got very much
Of that good, old-fashion sort which
brought the sunshine of peace to a lost
and ruint world.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
KNOW THYSELF.
Science Helps You to Be Your
Own Doctor.
The Story of q Woman Who Kept Posted
ON the Work Of science and Saved
Her Own Life.
From the Err. Bradford. Pa.


Too few people are acquainted with the
rapid advance of medical science, and too
many doctors are still plodding in the old
paths. Once it comes to pass that people
know themselves, that all physicians are
abreast of the worlds knowledge, much of
al scientists are not delving into the depths
Of knowledge for the mere benefit Of brother
physicians, but for the benefit of the
world. They place in the hands of the well
maj a means of keeping well, in the hands
OF the sick q means OF recovery. To the
parent they give the power OF saving the
child. Science is working for you-willyo
accept the proffered help?
Mrs. George Rowend, an estimable lady
who resides ut No. 276 East Main Street,
has cause to feel grateful toward the
science of medicine.
Mrs. Rowend had been greatly benefited by
the use Of q new medicine, interviewed her.
b stated that she had been suffering with
q female trouble for many years. She had
been doctored for the ailment for a long
time-in fact, nearly all her ife-and had
rary relief. During the last three years her
condition grew worse and was aggravated
by an affection of the heart. Her health was
SO poor that she found it almost impossible
to perform her household duties.
II never believed in proprietary medi-
cines, said Mrs. Rowend, shut one day last
fall l read an article in a newspaper which
told of the cures effected by DR.. Williams
Pink Pills, and / decided to try the medi-
cine. Before / had taken the contents of
one box I began to feel better. The depress-
ing weakness which had bothered me Tor so
ton of the heart at once became stronger
and more regular.
81 took nine boxes of the pills and / am
now feeling better than I have for several
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
Deafness Cannot III Cured

z. z loesl app55icatit2ns, g thy cannot tire, reach J;
only one way to cure d~eafHass. snd that is
by constitutional remedies. Deatness II
caused by an infamed condition of the mu-
ctis liiitg Of the Eustachian Tube. When
this tube gets infianed ysu have, a rumbling
selnd or imperfect hearing, and tshe1n /. is
unless the inflammation can be taken out
and this tube restored to its normal con-
dition, hearing will be destroyed forever;
n'1e cases out of ten are caused by catarrh,
which is nothing has an ipfaned condition
Of The mucous surfac Is.
We will give One Hundred Dollars fer
any. case Of Deafness. Caused by catarrh,
tilat canio 30 cured by Halls Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars, free: .
F. j. CHENEY & Co., Toieda, Q.
Sold by Druggists, Csc.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
FROM OLD ROCKY.
The Man with One "Ga,lus" Haa
the Floor.
nc motto "Peece on Earth" Causes n
church Row-A Buxom Widow In TIA
eeteiement-Deacon scineR's I'm
sHccessie1 Love Suit,
here is nothin like religion in this
green and wicked old world we live in,

and nothin betz
tes anless it
maybe mought
be q little more
of it. And Nheil
tsaythat1 don't
NEAR this rainy
day, long-faees
ted, sunday-go-
to tlleetin reli-
gion. I mean
plain, old fash
ion religion,that
which will Gland
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

MRS. Nrx-"I hope you are not afraid of
work" Weary Willie (uneasily)-"I amt
exactly afraid, num-; but l always feel
fdgety when dere's anything like dat
around. Truth.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

'I'M afraid your young man is noteconon1-
ical." Eyes, he is, papa; he asked me to go
sle1ghriding tonight, and he wants to Dor
row your cutter. '-Chicago Record.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

FoR Whooping Cough, Piso's Cure Is a
successful remcdy.-M. T.. DIETER, 81
Throop Ave, Brooklyn, N. Z, Nov. IA, '04.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

IT may not be polite to count the change
when a friend obliges you by changing q
bill, but it is just as well to do it If you
want your cash to balance.-Century.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

A cErs1AL river %diaphanous because 1t
travels sloray, soft is the music that would
charm for. er; the flower of sweetest
Amell Is shy aid l0Wlk.-MordsNorth.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

Mr.. DoLLEY-"What do sou mean by say.
ing that your father made light Of my pro-
posall' Miss Giggles-"Well, he did. HI
used it to ignite his cigar with ."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

The value Of a newspaper as an
advertising medium consists In
lts circulation.
When You can secure the COM
HnlIIed circulation OF two papers
yer the price of one, it is money
Baved!
The st. Landry Democrat
vas consolidated on the 3D. OF
Mar.h, 1894, with The Opelou-
.saa Courier The advertising
ratss have not been increased
Wllle the price of subscription
llas been reduced to 81 q year.
THE COURIER being by odds
we best paperi in the empire Par
I'D of NJ Landry is therefore the
cheapest.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

PARRoTT-"Do you think that Henpeck
could ever keep q secret from his wifef'
Wiggins-"Well, I'll bet that hs never lets
her know what he really thinks Of heft'-
Truth
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

A CLocKi with its ponderens embowel
ments OF lead and brass, its pert or solemn
dizziness OF communication.-Lamb
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

A DOCTOR may be able to speak but one
language, but he is supposed to have some
knowledge OF all tongues.-Yonkers States
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

A MAN OF REPosE.-Western Train-rob-
Der" Hold up your landsl" Reggie
Languid-"Aw-go tony man, deah fellaw;
he always awanges about my twaveling
~bills."-Truth.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

oy anti stay with a man every day and
every hour, and be e prop and a pillow
n a comfort through all his trials
and struggles and temptations, and tri-
umphs and troubles and tril,aiatiops.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

Our dangers aud delights ere near allies,
ffoni the same stem the rose and prickle
rise.-Shakespeara,
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

Soccer pie is mentioned az one of tho
causes of dyspepsia. One Of the causes Of
eoggy pie is the young married woman.t-
Texas Siftings.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

THE creditor whose appearance gladdehs
the heart of Il debtor may hold his head in
silnbeatns and his foot in storms .avater.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

SOME people have moral sentiment who
hevs no moral sense. There is a d stinction
aid d dlffetenees-N, Y. Mai, and ExptesA
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

My pen is at the bottom of a page, which
being finished here my story ends; It's to be
wished it had been sooner done, but stories
somehow lengthen when begun Byron.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

"WnAT is the most convenient ahd eco
nomical way to travel in Americal" asked
the visiting Englishman. "On a pass,"rc
piled Trotter, dryly.-Harper's Bazar.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

MosT men have more courage thar even
they themselves think they haVe.-Greville.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.

A A may have got his black eye by run
ming against a churcl door, but iii is lard to
make a critical world believe it.-Atci1iscn
Elaha
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

FRS Stopped free by DR.. Kline's Great
Herte Restoref. No fits aftertirst days use.
Marvellous cures. Treatise and s. trial bot
tie free. DR.. Kline, 93l Arch St, Phila., fs
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
Fair and Fruitful

WHEN tws discourse, if the ones angc
rise, the man who ltta the contest tall is
WISE -Pfutarch.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

WHEN kings make war, no law betWixt
tive soysreiguS tan decide but that Of arms,
where fortune is The judga. soldiers the
lawyers and the bar the field Dryden.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

AS the West is, it is Often malarious. But
1t is peasant to knowthat a competert safe
guard III the shape Of Hostctter's Stomach
na!sen e ef miia Mnie4 s West"r5 Eonna sm sne
grants should bear this in mind. Norsbould
it be forgotten, the Bitters is a s:eriing
tetnady for dyspepsia, biliousness, constipa-
ton, kiGEs5 and nervous complaints and
rheumatism.
A CROWD is not company, and faces ers
but q gallery of pictures, and talk but a
tink!ing tymhal, where there is no love-
Bacou.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

Why should you yearn for farce? Maybe,
When death has ended eartisy ills,
Posterity MAJ blush to see
Your name adjoining some ones pills.
Chicago Record.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

OpelOusas Courier
y the advocate of Democratic
principles and the friend of the
people.
Ineir welfare is its welfare, and
N will ever be found defending
their rights with all OF Its
ability.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1896-04-13

En- las llagas 6 dlceras, heri-
das de cualquier anna, panadl-
EOS 8 siete Cueros, tunoreS de
cualquier procedencia, picadu-
raS de insectoS ETC., demuestran
la bondad de este farrnaco que
no dabe faltar en- ninguna casa.
e DEPOSITO en- la Farrnacia
da LLRRMgTf. Sa paoo~
1aienda como segupo y rapido
purifioadon de Ia sangre, ,aF~
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-12-12

We learn from our Georgia contempt
rares that the treasury of that State will
be very much embarrassed next year.
There is IAN accumulated deficit Of
$4,000, caused by a system Of kiting"
that is, by anticipating the revenues. II
seems that this deficiency is largely due
to special appropriations which Legisla-
lures have made without making CORES
ponding levies of tax to raise the money
The payments have been made by the
Treasurer by borrowing from the preced
ing years revenues reserved for the last
quarter. and repaying when the levy is
collected. The States revenue comes IN
in December and it is ordinarily used to
meet the next years expenses. We learn
from the Atlanta Journal that when the
tax money due in December is relied upon
TO meet appropriations made available al
through the year, the Treasurer has the
same trouble that man would have IN
paying notes in the spring with money
collected in the fall. There are only two
ways to do II. one Is TO use money set
aside for current expenses. and another
is to borrow from Peter to pay Pail.
Either expedient has bad consequences.
One of the most embarrassing features
in the case is that the expenditures are
constantly increasing. and this years
revenue is not large enough to pay next
years expenses.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-12-12
THE PENSION ABUSES.


The New York Evening Post says:
THE prompt passage by the House OF
the pension bill. carrying an aDpropria-
ton OF Sal. 10000 is spoken Of In some
quarters as a wonderful proof OF the
business aptitude OF Congress. But this
Is one OF the money bills with which CON
gress has nothing TO do except to give
blind assent Discussion cannot alter II
one iot or little"
Exactly. AS tho case now stands the
average congressman would be afraid to
vote against the pension bill. no matter
what the amount involved or how out
rageous fraud on the public is repre-
scented. Nevertheless, Mr.. Cleveland
wrote words Of soberness and truth when
in his message he pointed out the posi-
blities OF reaction in this matter in the
way OF a determined attack upon the
pension abuses. which would overlook dis-
elimination in the cases of those really
entitled 10 pensions Others besides Pres
ident Cleveland have suggested that the
pension abuses might become great
issue in our politics.