Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-10-30

An eastern paper recently ontrfn
! prize for the best epigrainDatic dehni-
ton Of tho new woman. The prize was
awarded to this epigrain: "a fresh darn
on the original blue stocking" Other
good epigrams were: "Six Of one and
half dozen Of the otber;" "One who
has not yet attained TO be gentleman"
"Man's newest and best reason for re-.
mining single" and "Mannisbness mi
nus manliness;" zone who has given up
her wonanly ways but retains her woin-
anIy authority"
Poor old spain She has two rebel
lions to look after, and as great asis that
Of Cuba, the one in the PHILIPPINES isnot
Bit smaller. She Is certainly reaping
bitter reward for her past crneltes. A
few years ago Spain thought che was so
powerful that none Of her subjects dare
rebel, and submitted them to all kinds
OF atrocities that a wicked brain could
conceive OF, hut as the old saying is, the
worm has turned; and in Il few Years
Spain, once y mighty and powerful ma
tion, will lie the weakest on the face Of
the earth.
This Is the last week Of political cam
paign that will go into history ms the
most notable since the civil war. For
three or four days more the contest will
he waged with unprecedented vigor by
the coniending organizations, and 1t is
safe to predict that more practical work
will be done between nov and next Tues
day morning by both parties than has
thus far been accomplished. Desnltory
skirmishing Is ended and the concentra-
ted charge has begun. From now until
the election Is over. the nation will ring
with the clashing Of the great armies.
Putting up stoye-pipe ia easy enough
IL you only know how TO 60 at it. In the
morning breakfast on some light. nu-
tritions diet, drink two cups OF hot cof-
fee, after which pnt on a suit OF old
clothes---or new ones II you have no
other-put on pair OF gloves. and when
this is done aud you are ready for the
fatal hlow, go and get timer who
understands his business and get him TO
do the job for you. II may cost you
some money to have 1t done, but your
conscience will feel much better when
you go to church the next Sunday and
hear the minister tell what hot recep-
tion awaits the man who uses profanity.
| We are in receipt OF a communication
! from Mr. II. Foster OF Rock creek, which
would make about column or so, Civ
4 ing his side Of the controversy or misnn-
derstanding arising ont Of the Arlington
band boys trip to the recent political
\ debate on Rock creek. According to his
idea, the band boys were treated as per
agreement and rs we'll as could reasona-
bly, be expected Mt meeting OF that
kind. But we can not publish such long
articles that are not OF general interest
to the public. MIR. Foster says that he
promised to and will deliver the refresh
ments in question to the boys at Airing
ton, and when he does, the best plan is
for him aud the band to talk the matter
over privately, mt it doesn't concern any
one else.
A preacher no. many miles from here
who tried to ride bicycle before it was
ripe, exho horted his congregation in this
style: These badder-wheeled bicycles
are diabolical devices for the demons ol
darkness. They are contrivances tc
entrap the feet Of the unwary and skin
the noses OF the innocent. They are full
of guile and deceit. When you think YOU
have broke one to ride, and have sub
dued its wild, satanic nature, behold il
bucketh you off in the road, and tearetl
a hole in your pants. Look not upon
the bike when IL bloweth up its wheels
for at last 1t bucks like bronco and
hurtetli like thunder. Who hath Skim
ed legs? Who hath bloody nose
Who hath ripped breeches? They who
monkey with a bieycle."