The Louisiana populist. [volume] (Natchitoches, Natchitoches Parish, La.) 1894-1898, 1896-08-14

The emOcratS were unfortunate
in their selection OF ministers plen-
ipOtentiary and ENJOYS extraordi.
nary to convince the POpulists at
Alexandria that their only saliva
ton lies in a union with FOSterism.
They captured Booth, it is true.
but anybody can capture Booth.
Booths thinking machine is ont of
gear, and he don't know how TO get
out OF the way if anybody chaseS
him. After being robbed for eight
years he wants To 20 in with the
thieves, who will rob him of free
silver, too. Booth is crcdulous
hoy, and all good people sympa-
thize with him.
The Democratic emvOys included
Judge j. L. Watkins, who has an
eye for Watkins first, and for mo-
rality second. Watkins teaches in
the Sunday school, and he has al
tered commandment No. 9 The BIZ
blical version reads ''ThOu shalt
nOt,steal," and adds no frills. Wat
kinS has revised it A.: ''ThOu shalt not
steal-except from populists." In
the recent State campaign one Pink
Webb, who livesin Claiborne, went
down to Webster, where Watkins
lives. Pink swOre he wanted Booth
elected, and he got ont some kind
of writ to aid the Democrats by
demanding that Watkins allow the
Booth crowd to name the election
commissioners. 1t makes no diff
ference that there were no Booth
men in Webster-Webb was there
(importedl, and Watkins was tho
judd e. Well, to mako a long story
short, Watkins granted Webb's
petition. and Webster ran a close
second to BOssier in the swindling
line last April. Watkins continued
his Sunday school work, and Webb
went back To Claiborne. The deed
was done, and FOsterism and mo-
rality were safe.
Well, it was this Watkins who
addressed the Pops at Alexandria.
The lnsider admires his ner, and
cnvies him the possession of such
gall. If The Insider only had this
gift of ctironiery, he would have
been United States senator long
ago. Our Pop friends did not lis
ten to Watkins proof that they
have memories and consciences.
Next on the list of ENJOYS was
Dan Scarborough, of Natchitoches.
Dams convictions are built like
the figure S-they are not straight
anywhere. His thinking machine
works in curves, and he never
hurts anybOdy's feelings. He has
no harsh word for the militia that
stole his home parish of Natchito-
ches from the Populists, nor does
he condemn the Pops who were
robbed. Dan is always in the mid
die of the road when an issue comes
up that is dangcrous-he never
takes the RICH or left folk. Daniel
wants harmony and peace-aad
sothing for Dan.
The third envoy was Jim Foster,
of Caddo, James thinks Populists
are like catcrpillars--thcy should
be exterminatcd. Poison will do
If it is the cheapest. If, howev-
er, he can utilize the Pops as Il
sort of Democratic fertilizer, he
believes it will pay when the crop
of votes is gathered in November.
But the lone galluscd" boys would
not listen to him mt Alexandria
he was on cold trail. The. ma
chine in CaddO is said, however, to
be still in good working order and
there is no reason why Jim Foster
should despair. It's all in the
count, anyway.
Ed. Hunter, the district Judge
of his neck of the woods. was an
other Populist-loving Democrat,
He wanted to drive them all into
the Gulf of Mexico six moths ago,
but now he has revised his judg-
ment.- The y-handed are need
ed this fall they come high, but
Hunter and Foster must have
them.-Item.
Made of POtatOes.