The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1896-02-29
SAW THE JOKE.
How MIR. Hardware Played 1t Fine on His
Friends.

Mr.. and Mrs. Hardware get along as
we'll together as any couple in Chicago.
They have been married twenty-eight
years now and the only rock they have
ever split on is MI. Hardware's pen
chant for playing jokes, telling stories
times Mrs. Hardware herself gets a
CLEAN of satisfaction out of the inno-
cent pastime which affords her licge lord
so much simon-pnre enjoyment but that
is only when she can see the point;
when she can't She gets mad.
Mr.. Hardware came home in unusual
ly high spirits the other night.
well, sir, Maria" he said. putting a
double dose OF cream aud TWO %spoonsin
his coffee, II saw the funniest thing to-
day that I've ever came across yet"
Mrs. Hardware said: "Did yon?" and
attacked her roast beef gingerly.
"Yes," he answered, laughing uproar-
iously at the remembrance of the anus
ing incident, "and the best part OF it is,
the joke is on Harris this time. You
know Harris, don't you, the senior part
ner of the firm of Harris 4 Copperly?"
Mrs. Hardware nodded to let him
know she had an intelligent understand
ing Of that much of the story and Hard
ware proceeded.
Il took a couple of friends up to his
Office to-day to see him on business and
whom should we find there but Charley
Wingley! You know Charley and what
u whole-souled fellow he is. Harris is
just the opposite and ] must say that.
although he is a perfect prince in some
respects, he is the stingiest man under
heaven. ! guess he was never known
to treat in his life. But l tell you we
got one on him this afternoon. Through
the intercession OF Charley and me a
deal which had been hanging fire be-
tween him and my friends formonths
was consummated and after everything
was all settled Charley proposed in that
inimitable way of his which will allow
of no otfense that we all 90 down and
take a drink out of Harris profits to
cement the bargain"
Mrs. Hardware frowned and said
something about slow" and "ungentle-
manly grog-shop habits" but Mr.. Hard
ware interrupted her with ooh, pshaw,
Maria, you don't know anything at all
about these things. They re necessary
in business" and. after another edition
of hearty "ha-ha's," he went on with
his narrative.
"We all went down to Jessop's and
ordered the highest-priced drinks he
had in the establishment and you ought
to have seen Harris eyes water when
the bill was presented. We just did it
on purpose to get even with him for
more than one little trick he has played
on lis. l don't know when anything
has done me so much good as it did to
see him fish out that $40 bill aud flip
it in front of Jessop's face. IIa. ha,
ha."
He leaned back and laughed until his
second cup of coffee got cold, then he
remembered the last installment of the
story and Strengthened up to finish it.
"By the way, I guess Jessop must be
in pretty hard luck here Of late. At
any rate, he couldn't change that $40
been in a pretty fin if hadn't happen-
ed to have the exact change myself"
Mrs. Hardware dropped her fork with
a clatter.
you dido" she shrieked. fairly cleo
tritied by the pith of the joke as it pre-
sented itself to her. Joseph Hard
ware. do you mean to tell me that you
settled that liquor bill YOURSELF"
why, yes, Maria, Harris
"And then you tell me" she stormed,
willing him with unutterable scorn,
that the joke is on him?'
"Maria," he snorted, "you can't see
a point when it's flung smack-dab in
your face"
But Maria thought she saw it that
time. - Chicago Record.