davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1896-11-25

Absolutely pure, perfectly harmless,
and invariably reliable, are the quail
ties of One Minute. Cough Cure. 1t new
er fails in colds, Group and lung trou-
bles. Children like it because it is
pleasant to take and 1t helps them.
Chas. N. Settele.
, 1896-11-25

Excuse me-" observed the man in
spectacles, but | an a surgeon, and
that is not where the liver is" Never
YOU mind where his liver is" retorted
the other. "If 1t was in his big toe or
his left a DeWitt's Little Early Ris-
ers would reach 1t and shake 1t for him.
On that you can bet your gig-lamps."
Chas, N. Settele.
, 1896-11-25

We've got to admit that the bicycle
We'll, that depends on whether you
get it for cash or on installments.'-
RoXbury Gazette.
, 1896-11-25

OmsnrTn dTaniT mh sin I@NmmIc mhXhb BEAUTIFUL hair me ,,
matte nctaihsc carefully c"r"l Tm tp~ Writings hob authors lectei1 the leading eoculNhNs
:. NJ ~ Mrs rartnfmn Crab Bag the conents of which aev very, very funny. Tho
last Ndi G @ boy n wEnyM r. SMrhnM %Gnsmh MrI argSn ,, mia. r r,v,nru u, o,mo
SHM% ~: WoGi h%E Il DnEs H. :XTss Tx a%S%ss %iesaono Of Dialogues.
40 ,MM. Iulor Magic" mnnnrn nnph,r nnh, eNhaMMed ntcnons Tor performing rover
one S%HE%& i" "TM"F % ""ne i"m" "&: u nS %asSm i nd Gaae mu fritz % 1h IL ~ Il s1"s '"r"s mammal
H@Mn MLa%T@ mM@9% TM%I and tbs methods OF dAMsd OIL to publishers and th you
~ % How 10 Scnr" a HusLressE dncaion at Home ny the rid Of This hk =
one %T EaE"F l"%% W% and %%% ~ "mmT9e instruction in T@mmE%B %kk%mSS
nn% I aT%%GMs s4T% g%@n % % %%% % m m%t4G". in tm%,SS Tg Y r%ksse Irish an" pwh dialect" hh in PROSE
UmmsmF en- m@h M mie "mss mArahns together ho hHhlru rules or playing
No. Vs. $50 ropnIlr Songs lie E"nrsc miMm"i In It's hook comprise the most popular
"n" %s ~" tie yWn %a H sh%"; " o%' Jnrn n" t %mk % Cn nit IT. E @con,,rsc Comic sm.
E%M HT ms 1%@% @ n S I'M '@%h% !I%%yI naEss stm M%isSs Ra1sHns 5"nsA m Mono
n H.. e C'mnhE. Nor.icnrs b, Lnpni authors. ThsL look contains TnMs
s% %l%"%N m%@% M"%mm" No.! %%nn ,%@ m % A E hna@ %is aTGSs bb %%sS S M.s Tr MI S@n, s
,r~1 g. @ sv: ' """1"s "I& S%C' tSS .y ;%nMa' an. 4r IN SS,1Sisl t sn ,ss ss s %s . rm %n
ST nG sN% %.% Mm"%a Seas Stories Border soe. Humomuss Stories stories Of Rail
.n: M hr 4t c~ n ITItff tr rET"IHntmHrfs % If q mt Nw ,5rmSS DsssssS Hsmr Tits fmM book s%:
No .h3rm rFnhr rhT "M% Lmc"TS nr nmnem ThsatMcais: Gnaonam hose -nnnr
No hI Pmrnnhe Un" Imy. TsI book Tells mnG how 10 EmI ~ rms smr,c, hv
n,mmpsm M Passing the ~rm Th"Ls" Ladu eaeuryor these vdmmmw i'll DO a surprise tyou
&c. ~ Thc TT Of lnnrihnqnim TtsG great book s wrnen " the cehraleLv VEN
=, n hE Sea Yarns H N"rns AIT a Errec omm"nM Immm9F stories ia adventure on
s%STh r. sW %%i y y Mii%"y% %N %H% HnS nMS H@ s """%fS MAs s#H%Ke%S q fs s s Etc The
xmsWIl %@. XM&a %m!"%W lies lion Inmm A MHS "a % @hsm% %h T nGr hES?*I E &c F E@
famous Ss s hs TX SfS"Hc nhsk%n! ia aG a ns T 81 ,TTssMN%S11Ey; al e.S%Hn % H@ea @@s
sp"&mtH~ Int"| n n gim In@ mthm :rm books TpnhMhsL l."
n@ Irish mM Ssm"nl Yankee ianL both in prose and verse Accomplishment n.ne@ hmms
=, No "a snp Shms b mL NyE MAX AnELER MARK TWAIN JOSH BILLINGS III PERKINS
tam s % wEm "Hmm%%nn%%. "@S mmf an comic A sspE humorous book containing some Of tel @
No Ma Lessons in Shorfhand, on GurneysS System. A complete Construction boo in ne
sn%n %DR Py" '"t~ ""ns showing ST. any "- may. Squire and t@ns ppncsnt m' oil" ~
, 1896-11-25

Old papers to put under your carpets
It The Republican ofaceL
, 1896-11-25
GREAT BOOKS BY FAMOUS AUTHORS !
The Best STANDARD Works Of Fiction Within tho Reach Of Ali
Each Boo Consists o a Handsome Octave Volume of 81 Large Double Column,
Pages, Neatly Bound in IN Attractive Paper Cover

ome the most uousw forks er published are include ID in tn lHt FM'hM ~ ND popular arnm;
sne octave volume "a large douoecohmnp pages nicely printed rom r W OF nam,
paper. and neatly bound in attractive paprc covers. Bear in mind thai umen re- not 'cE%n o hE"i
BnPhha5 m bt s ns t an n Gsans h S@I in Hsae"dvvs son In this form the bois as not on,
hnksn NeN AoWuB IS a hu JN
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
CHURCH AND CLERGY.

Rev. Charles E. Jefferson, of the Cen
trail Congregational church, Chelsea,
has received a call to the First Congre-
gational church Of Oakland, Cal.
Tho rurlor that Rev. William n.
Cleveland, brother of President Cleve-
land. is TO he called TO Calvary Presby-
tcrian church, Cleveland, O., cannot be
substantiated.
The Church Union, of which Mrs.
Elizabeth Z. Grannis has been the ed
itor and proprietor for more than ten
years. has been sold to Rev. Samuel T.
Garter, one of its contributing editors.
According to the London correspon-
dent of the Glasgow Herald a good
many peni:ents in Anglican churches
are complaining of the utter lack of
privacy which awaits them when they
90 { confession, and are urging the
erection c. confessional boxes of the IA
miliar Roman type.
Rev. DR.. Cyrus S. Bates, rector of ST.
Paul's Episcopal church, Cleveland,
VINO has just died from pneumonia,
was one of the most prominent clergy
men IN the diocese of Ohio. and was q
member Of the ecclesiastical court that
tried Rev. Howard Mac Queary for her
esy a few years ago. He was born in
Chic in 1SIC.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
GARDEN AND ORCHARD.

Too much or too severe pruning IS al
ways more or less weakening, especially
if continued year after year.
In pruning trees OF any kind it IS bet
ter to leave one strong branch or limb
than two or three weak ones.
The only remedy FOR black rot is to
cut off and burn Immediately all
branches that Show any indication of
the disease.
Cultivate your young and small fruits
The same as you would any other crop
on the farm from which you expect to
realize profit.
In setting out grape settings, plant
in a dry, low soil. so hat only the top
bud will be exposed and then mulch
with straw.
When selecting the trees take those
with the roots large and strong enough,
and then top light enough tc do away
with the necessity of stalking.
By leaning the trees a little to the
southwest when they are set out, SUI
scaIding may be largely avoided, as the
top will partly shade the trunk.
The sooner now hat red and black
raspberTies, blachberries, curraats and
gooseberries are set out the better.
Early planting induces stronger root
ing.
A young, tender tree cannot grow
without good care and attention. 4
tree is strong and hardy when it is old
and its roots are well established, but
when young it must be attended to.
Trees should always be set about as
deep as they stand III the nursery OF
two or three inches deeper to allow for
the settling of the soil.-St. Louis Re
public,
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
SMILERS.

DO you take fuel in exchange for
Subscriptions" asked the caller at the
country newspaper Office. What have
You got-a pcem?"-Ionkers States
man.
Not HIS neutrality-suspicious." said
the long-haired passenger. lis the cry
ing evil of the day" Amt with me-"
said the fat passenger. Il always git
the singing kind. Never had a crying
jag in my life."-Indianapolis Journal.
Short EnSagements.-Little Boy
"How soon are you and Sis goin' to be
married?' Accepted Suitor-"She has
not named the day yet. | hope she
does not believe in long engagements?"
Little Boy she doesn't, l know,
cause all her engagements has been
short."--Town and Country Journal
Sydney.
I'm glad to see that one thing has
been brought to the attention of con-
grcss.' said the man who is p~erpetually
indignant. What do you mcan?'
THE necessity for a universal standard
of weights and measures. What we
want right away is some scheme that1l
make so pounds of ice weigh just as
much in July IS it does in April
WASHINGTON STAT.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
Catching Flies on of Cattle.

A machine for catching flies off the
backs of cattle, and so afTording the ami
malsreliefand comfort. has been invent
ed by a farmer in Madison county, NY.
The fly catcher is a kind of covered pen
or passageway, through which the ami
NAL must walk to secure relief. A few
feet from the entrance there is a cupola
or dome in the roof of the passageway.
made of glass and arranged as Il fly
trap. Beyond this the passage is dark
ness. The animal walks through the
machine, and just as it passes under the
dome and enters the darkest part n set
of brushes sweep off the flies. which
naturally rise into the lighted dome.
and the steer passes Il at the other
side free of flies. The flies are retained
in the dome trap. The inventor has eX-
perimented with his machine. and finds
that the animals soon learn the value of
the machine and know enough to walk
through the machine when the flies be-
gin to bite. The device has been pat.
ented.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
BEST ARE CHEAPEST.
When You Build Roads. Build None But
the Most Perfect.

w hen lou bullu hOdus. DutO -NohC "uS
the Most Perfect.
\ very wise philosopher has observed
that the great bulk of the people must
always support the mass Of the popula-
ton.
The people pay for everything the
people have. The public pays for the
railroads and the expense of runnl--
them. If the railroads were only hall
as good and could only haul half as
much it would cost the people twice as
much to ride or ship over them.
1t is fortunate for the people hat rail
roads are conducted in an organized
business-like way. If the opponents to
improved roads had their way the rail-
roads would be neither profitable nor
pleasant.
The people of a community are the
ones vitality interested in the roads OF
that community.
If the farmers of each township were
To get together and mutually agree that
they would go about a system OF good
roads their sum of happiness would be
Increased.
Since the people pay for the roads
why not have those that are cheapest
and most pleasant-the very best ones:
GOOD Roads.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
WOMAN'S WIT.
Told by q Society Girl
Something About Morphine. Sulphur. Mo-
lasses and Other Things.
From the Erentno Neus. Nc,rart, n. J.

From the Erening Neus, NeudTk, n.
Among the popular society leaders in
East Orange, y. j., EmmaL L.. Ston, q charm
ing young maiden, stands in the foremost
rank. She is of a lovable disposition and
the light of the social set in which she
moves. For two years she has been a sick
girl from internal troubles peculiar 20 wom-
en-, and having recently recovered, has
given our reporter the folio wing interesting
account:
'Instead of improving under the care of
my physician l became worse. For five
weeks l was unable to get out of bed and
about six o'clock each morning l suffered
horribly. My lips were sore and lacerated
from the marks of my teeth, for in my eff
forts to keep from screaming 1 sunk my
teeth deep into my lips. AT such times I
rolled and tossed until the bed shook like
an aspen leaf and it finally got SO serious
that the doctorI Won't tell you his name
gavc me some morphine pills to take. The
very thought of them now makes me shiver.
These morphine pills simply put me to sleep
for awhile and when I became conscious
again my agony was renewed.
"The pain in my stomach and back was
more than l could stand. Your blood is
DOOR, said the doctor, take sulphur and mo.
~lasses,' and | lid until twas great wonder
that was not a molasscs cake. 1t was time
wasted in taking it because was not beue-
flied in the least; my suffering continued,
but by q mighty effort after being in bed so
long, 1 got up. Oh, but l was a sad sight
then. From 112 pounds, l had fallen to
ninety; my checks were pale and sunken
and l limped; yes, actually hobbledfron the
extreme pain in my side. Then Tread Of
DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People
and the testimonial in the NcWs inspired me
with hope. l got the pills and took them.
Before many days l began to improve and
bcforcI had finished one box l felt as if I
could go out and walk for miles. l soon
stopped limping and through the Pink Pills
l soon bid goodbye to my headaches while
the pain in my stomach and back slowly
but surely succumbed to the influence of
these pills that seem to be able to persuade
ell pain to leave ones body. Now j am as
/ used to be; Ecl and strong, light-hearted
and merry but never without the pills. See
l have got some of them now" and from
q nearby desk she handed out one of the
boxes.
DR.. WilliamS' Pink Pills contain, in a con-
dcn5ed form, al the clements necessary to
give new lie and richness to the blood and
restore shattered nerves. They are also q
specific for troubles peculiar to females,
such as SupprcSGions, Irregularities and all
forms Of weakness. They build up the
blood, and restore the glow ofhealth to pale
and sallow checks. In men they efecta
radical cure in all cases arising from mental
worry, ovcrworE or excuses of whatever
nature. Pink Pills are sold in boxes (never
in loose bull) at 30 cents q box or six boxes
for SEQ, and MAJ be had of all druggists,
or direct BY mail from DR.. Williams &ied
cine Company, Schenectady. n. Y.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
POINTS FOR OUR GIRLS.

A young woman should not bow to
any young man. no matter how well
hammered he may be, who has not been
properly introduced to her.
When you have been invited TO call
On a friend who is visiting your friend,
md find both hostess and guest out,
you should leave IA card for each.
When you arrive in a strange city
send our card. with your temporary
address upon it an! the hour at which
YOU Will be at home, 10 the friends
whom you wish TO see.
At an afternoon tea it is customary,
especially il there are to be many Wis
itors, for the hostess TO ask some of
her young girl friends to pour the tea,
coffee and chocolate.
There is no impropriety in giving to
those men friends with whom one is
we'll acquainted some trifiing souvenir
at Christmas or Easter, or when birth
days come.
No matter how friendly a young girl
ray feel toward 4 man whom she has
known for years, any letters, when
trouble comes to his family, should be
addressed TO his wife, and not to him.
When calling on 4 married lady you
leave n of your W and two of your
husbands cards; when your hostess is
unmarried you leave one of your own
and one OF your husbands cards.
y girl of II wouil better be thinking
q her schoolbooks than of getting mar
.ied, for it is scarcely likely that she
can judge at that age what nan would
he most desirable as a husbaEd.-La-
dies Home Journal.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
AGRICULTURALHINTS
H LEAK.
The Product of the Fields Pays the NJ

Tne product of the Fields Pays the Niue
or Stony Road Tax.
lime spent in marketing farm prod
uce is & dead loss.
This loss falls on the crop produced
by the farmer. The dappled fields Of
green and golden wheat know il and
the corn leaves whisper il TO the law
pumpkins following in autumn sur.
They know that against them will be
Charged all the time OF horses ard men
All h wear and tear Ca ,chicleS eng
pioyed in transporting them to market.
1hey know II a if the read to town Is
very bad and but half Il load can be
marketed in twice the time required for
marketing a full load with 4 good road
II viii ali u against them when the
years business is finished and the books
are balanced.
They know that production and con.
sumption are the great conterGins
factors of the farm. Horses and men
are consuming the crop while they ars
producing it. The consumption of il
does not end until it is exchanged for
its cash equivalent. The fewer the
humber of horses ard men, the less the
amount of time employed in producing
and marketing it, the more there will
be to credit to the worth of the crop.
The mud tax, OF stony-road tax. or
the ~steep-grade tax is assessed against
tic product of the fields.
If the farm isn't a paying investment
the "why?" should be looked into.
The farm. itself. may show a profit.
The miserable road t o market NAV he
the Improbable part of the business.
Isoade should be SO made that loads can
be hauled to market when fields are toe
wet TO work.
Quit charging the fields with the great
loss of time, the broken vehicles. the
WORKOUT horses and the many other
ills occasioned by poor roads.-Cood
Roads.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
Plants for Alkaline Lands.

To the west Of us we have what used
10 lie Known as the Great American
desert" bat now more familiariy com-
pretended as our "semi-arid regions
1t has been supposed that this land was
of no great value, having nc plant food
and filled with the destroying alkali.
Recently, however, the government has
been making an analysis of these soils
and finds them rich with the chemicals
necessary for the growth of plants.
fhe next work will doubtless be to find
valuable plants that will be able to
stand the alkali and the drought. That
such a thing is possible is proven by
the vigorous growth on those lands of
sage ard cactus.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
AXLE GREASE CHEESE.
Why Farmers Should Assist in the Sup
preston OF Its Manufacture.

Why Farmers Should Assist in the Sup
preston OF Its Manufacture.
Every effort to suppress the manu-
facture ard sale of filled cheese deserves
the heartiest support of all farmers.
The question is of more general i'm
p%ortarce than many farmers seem to
imagine, for the cheese and butter in
dustries are SO closely allied that when
cur export cheese trade is destroyed
the butter market cannot fail tc be af-
fected.
The recent low prices commanded by
the best creamery butter has alarmed
many people, persuading them into the
belief that the creamery business is
overdone. If this be true-and it is not
possible now to say whether it is or not.
for markets are affected by many cir,
cumstances-but if it be true. the
remedy lies close at hand. With the
suppression of filled cheese. America
can produce and sell at advantageous
prices tons and tons of the real article.
Down with the axle grease stuff
Farm News.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
More Good News.

General Manager p. =. Mcgowan, Of the
Walter A. Wood Harvester Co., St. Paul.
Mimi. informs us thai business is excellent
and that his company will be able this fall
to liquidate its entire Indebtedness, and
pass out of the receivers hands in a most
prosperous condition. He is our authority,
also, for announcing the good news that
some of the most influential stockholders of
the st. Paul and HoOsick Falls companies
are now at work trying to effect a reorgani-
~zation. TO the end of placing both companies
in a position to go along with the immense
business in such manner as to maintain past
reputation for solidity and progressiveness.
If the reorganization is effected, which.
from present progress would seem assured,
The business will again be on a solid founda-
ton and under 4 management that will push
its well known machines in every market
on the globe.-Fdim Machinery, 1pri Fl,
1896.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
Influencing the Calves.

Prof. Stewart nee purchased two
COWS, our and six years old, and fed
them to improve if possible their milk
:ng qualities. One the second year pro-
duced 60 per cent. more throughout and
was protitably kept until IS years Of
uge. The other increased one-third in
milk and one-half IN butter, and during
her 18th year grve 6,27S pounds of milk.
And please note this-that a heifer calf
from each before development proved
very ordinary mixers. but calves from
them afterward proved good mixers.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

oy local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion OF the ear. There is
only one way to cure deafness, and that is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an inflamed condition of the mu-
cous lining of the Eustachian Tube When
this tube gets infiamed you nave a rumbling
sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is
entirely closed deafness is the result, and
unless the inflammation can be taken out
and this tube restored to its normal con-
dition, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten are caused by catarrh,
which is nothing but an infiamed condition
of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness Caused by catarrhI
that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars. free.
F. J. CHENEY & Co, Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
How Napoleon Plagued the King of Prus-
STA

In the afternoon the king of Prussia,
with his staff, was generally invited to
join their cavalcade for a ride. The
emperor of the French gave a malicious
account of those jaunts in later years.
Himself a fearless horseman, he spurred
his charger to full speed, and the czar
followed with glee, while the king, as
timid in the saddle as in the cabinet,
jounced and bounced, often knocking
Napoleon's arms and elbows.-Prof.
Sloane, in Century.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16

bic to badly soil the udders of the cows,
with consequent trouble at milking
time. A regular wooden bridge costs
something to build, and is not very last
ing. under such conditions as are usu-
aliv found in pasture streams. Asimpie
alan for bridging a brook is shown in
the cut. Stout sticks are set at an angie
against each other, thus bracing each
other perfectly. Over these are laid
rough logs, and the remaining space
filed in with dirt. Grass will soon grow
over all, and keep the soil from washing.
N, Y. Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16

There is civilization, enlightenment
and economy in good roads. Good roads
lead t prompt and steady attendance
church services, school room du-
ties, neighborly intercourse and social
advancement. Bad roads lead to pro-
family, worry. trials and tribulations
ard loss of time.-Galveston (Tex-)
Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
; slrn,scancs OF er.y o,.rro.,

Upon the tongue, yellowness Of the skta
and eyeballs, nausea and uEeasiness DO
meath the right ribs and shoulder blade, 10
that the victim of these discomforts is bill
ious. The proper caper' under such cir
cumstarces is to take Hostetter's Stomach,
Bitters, which also cures chills and fever,
constipation. dyspepsia, rheumatic and kid
ney complaints and nervousness.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16

straw, dry sawdust or dry forest leaves
being the best for cow stables. In build
ing such Il stable put up a balloon frame
and batten the siding. or use tongue
and grooved siding. Such Il building
may be built in "A good substantial way
al a cost of less than $500. and would
last many years.-0hio Farmer.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
CHEAP COW STABLE.
Can Es Built substantially for About Five
Hundred Dollars.

A cheap and convenient COW stable
for SIX cOws may be built 16x24. Feed
ing alley should be at least four feet
wide. Cows facing feed alley. Manure
ditch should be deep and narrow so tina.
COWS may easily step across and are not
likely to stand with hind feet IN the
ditci; while in their stalls. The walk
should be three and one-half or four
feet wide. The length of the platform
on which the COWS stand will depend
upon the size OF cows kept. The feed
bins should be in the loft above and
spouted down 10 boxes 81 below. where
1t can be mixed. and is convenient 20 get.
while not in the road. To keep tine cows
clean. clear the cutters at least once n
day and use plenty of ab~sorbents, cut
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-16
Cost of Paving New York.

An expert engineer in New York city
has been carefully estimating the cost
Of the various kinds of pavements laid
III that city during 1895. The Figures
include cost of curbing, cross-walks,
inspection, etc, and are of general in
te-est: