davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
I'll also break her blamed old back with
the smokehouser'

I'll also break her blamed old back with
the smokehousel''
Mrs. Bowser got the pail and box and
sat down to the COW. Ten minutes later
she entered the house with about half a
pint of milk in the pail and said:
well, Mr.. Bowser, Green has fur
nished you nice sort of a COW, hasn't
he?"
did You milk herr" he asked as he
lifted his head off the lounge, but kept
both hands pressed on his stomach.
"There is no milk to be had. She
hasn't been a new milk COW. If were
you'-
"Stop right there, Mrs. Bowser! /
am now in what is probably dying
state, having received 10, 900 pound
blow in the pit Of the stomach. II die,
you will have accomplished your cold
blooded purpose. If survive until
morning, you and and the COW will
have little talk and straighten things
out!''
"But what did do?' she protested.
Never You mind! A woman who
will kick COW to make that COW kick
and kill her husband is guilty of mur-
der. and she's no wife of mine. Just
keep right away from me until I die or
recover. and then this thing can be set.
tied In about two minutes!"
"And you say kicked the cow?"
But Mr.. Bowser only glared at her
tor moment and then turned his face
to the wall and refused to speak again.
The iron had entered his soul-that is.
this Leghorn COW had kicked him into
the middle Of next week.
NJ OrAD
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21

By and By ard give her to understand
that she is among friends -
"And you be easy in taking hold.
Some COWS have to be petted, you know.
Don't squeeze too hard at the begin
ming
"Ill attend to the squeezing business.
/ guess this is the right side, after all,
but I'll have her taught to milk on
both sides within a week. I want no
one sided COWS around me. Jee whiz,
but what was that?'
The cow lifted both hind feet at once,
but missed pail and Mr. Bowser.
You never milked COW in all your
Ife!' exclaimed Mrs Bowser, who had
been closely watching his operations.
"Then I'll begin now or perish in the
attempt!' he shouted. "Durn her eyes,
but does she think this is circus, and
is she trying to jusa. backward through
paper hoop? Hist over or look out for
a cyclone! Now, then, start that sing
ing again. Never MIXED COW! I'll
show you whether l ever did or mott"
Mr.. Bowser started in with q grim
determination. Once or twice in his life
he had seen man milk COW. He dis
fnctly remembered that it was all hand
work, and that no machinery was en-
ployed either above or below. 1t was
the squeeze that brought the milk, and
he got firm hold and tightened his
fingers. Mrs. Bowser had finished the
second line of the beautiful bymn when
the COW made a sudden movement with
her left leg. 1t was combination of
baseball, cricket and chain lightning.
The milk pail flew past her and hit the
fence with bang, but Mr.. L>wser and
his box and grim determination flew
the other way. He wasn't exactly sure
what had happened, and he asked no
questions until his breath returned and
he could sit up. Then he queried:
"Was it the-the cow"
''lt was the cow" answered Mrs
Rowser. II told you that you knew
nothing about milking"
"She-she kicked me, did she?'
"She did. Give me the pail, and I'll
see what can do. You'd better 90 in
and lie down.
II think will for--for a minute or
two, and then I'll come out and see who
kicked the COW and made her kick me.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21

we are after is milk and cream. She's
Leghorn, if know anything about
cows. and she'll probably have to be
MIXED about five or six times day. !
will now open the performance.
II don't believe you ever MIXED a
cow in your life. - said Mrs. Bowser, as
he began to roll up his sleeves.
Don't you? Well, prepare for a sur
prise. The day you put on short dresses
MIXED 16 cows ard churned 20
pounds OF butter. Imay be little rusty,
but
"But what?"
~ was just thinking whether you
MIXED Leghorn COW on the right or
left side. It's on the left. guess +"
"All COWS are MIXED On the right
hand side, Mr.. Bowser. :"
Perhaps SO, but we'll try this one
on the left. I'll use that old soap box
for a milk stool. You can sit down on
that stone and sing while I play dairy
maid. This was one of the things that
induced me to hire this farm for the
summer-coming out to milk our own
Leghorn cow as the shades of evening"
: The shades of evening didn't fall, bat
that COW picked up a hind foot and sent
the milk pail whirling 30 feet away. and
Gs Mr.. Bowser lodged he fell off the
box and his feet came up and gave the
COW double kick and sent her rushing
away.
"By the great horn spooni" he shout
ed, as lie turned over and got up. "But
I'll have her life to pay for this!''
II told You it was the wrong side, "
protested Mrs Bowser.
Wrong side be hanged! What's the
difference to COW! She's here to be
MIXED, and she can't have her own
way about things. II she tries that little
game on me again, I'll break her in two!
Well drive her into corner over there.
Come to remember, Leghorn cows al
ways have to be driven into corner to
be milked.
Mrs. Bowser brought him the pail,
and together they corncred up the COW.
This time Mr.. Bowser approached her
on the right hand side, and after pat.
". hss; ;tag II: . sfa.AerlSs7~"y for Z, 9
q sx Whoa, SoW. b5ssv. W and Sst hal nvs,.
fhatI tht checgef!- MIS-! lBowsdrss yon
Walk 1p and dowii ana MnR sson3ea Einp.
eSWifae this cow daeka is0siiidAnoe iasus4,
.Sh6anan y 1ts,a ~ hatz4oarr assljnsr,s are.
'6ts@s coaples ofiaverses7o THE Sweet
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
Placing the Family.

Whats gone with all the boys, old
man,
well, Dicks a-studyin of law"
"And Jim?''
"Jim's a-preachin er the gospel"
And Benz
"Ben's politicianin.
And Bob, where's he?''
Well, Bob amt nowher shot yit.
can't beat no l'arnin inter his head, go
ef he don't go ter teachin school er edit
in Of newspaper reckon I'll sen him
ter congress. ATLANTA Constitution.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
The Corbett Folding Bed.

Furniture Salesman-The best fold
ing bed we have is the Corbett. We al
ways recommend it to our customers.
Prospective Purchaser-Why do you
call it the Corbett?
r. S.-Bccause it is guaranteed not
to shut up. New York Sunday World.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
The New and the Old.

The Violin Virtuoso-The violin,
madam, Upon which I will play this
evening is 200 years old.
The Parvenu-Never mind. | don t
believe any one will notice it.-Flie-
gende Blatter.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
Wouldn't Change 1t,

I'm not pleased with your school
report, Bobby" said his father, with
solemn look.
II told the teacher you wouldn't be,
but she was too stubborn to change it,
the old pelicanl' l''-Detroit Free Press
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
An UndOubted Genius.

"What superb touch that pianist
hasl" she gushed.
II should say he had, )" replied her
matter Of fact escort. II understand old
Skinfint had to give up $500 to have
him here this evening. New York
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
A Come Down.

u never thought I'd come down to
this, said the young lady 10 herself as
she came down to the parlor and WIS
surprised to find Willie Saphead walt
ing, with the handle of his cane in his
mouth. -Yonkers Statesman.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
A Mind Reader Puzzled.

Crimson beak-You know Fakely the
mind reader?
Yeast-Yes.
Well, yesterday he had to go back
to the house three times to ascertain
why his wife tied little piece of cord
around his finger. "--Yonkers States
man.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
The Useful Wheel.

He-The widow has not given up her
wheel, has she? -
She-Oh, dear, mol Her bicycle face
answers admirably as an expression Of
concern for the late lamented. Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21

Il refused him time and again, yet
now he has saved me from drowning. :"
Il suppose you succumbed at once. -
mo. had presence Of mind enough
to pretend it was attempted suicide -
Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
Billville Literary Notes.

will there be a meeting of the lit
erary club tonight:f
II hardly think so. The janitor stole
the possum, and they're out yonder
lynching him. Atlanta Constitution.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21
Summer Engagements.

They say she made a regular show
OF herself at the summer resorts. -
II noticed that she had three rings"
Detroit News.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21

Moralist-You say your money led
you astray?
:. Young Neyerstraight-Yes. always
lfoaioxstit yhan' it went fer beer. t-typ
10 A9tf.ss tia "a saak :! gis.r: .,;.g,.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1896-11-21

~ Saias asrsAnAnH Ds~n sass- es1Ak6 ...;s
: - phatsfelIow Aakes money hand over
sAs&a sza =. .,>l*SN a1l ,2st4 !
s'tfndeBdl Ahat.a hiA business a',a st
Pugilsat. netreitiN News 5s.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
THROWN INTO A clsrERn.

Texas Man Stays His Family and Dis
poses of Their Bodies.
Austin, Tex, Aug. st. e. Burt,
a member Of one of the most respect
able families, murdered his wife and
two children. aged and 4 years, last
Friday night, and placed the dead
bodies In cistern. He left the city
Saturday night following the terrible
deed, after advising several neighbors
not to drink the water in his cistern,
as it was polluted. His relatives be-
came alarmed at the disappearance Of
his family. and began an investigation,
resulting in the finding of the bodies
today. Burt bound his wife in a
blanket, after tying her feet and neck
together, and then dropped the body
into the oistern. Both children had
their brains knocked out. His brothers
have offered a reward of $500 for his
apprehension.
Burt was at one time prominent
furniture dealer in this city, but gam
bling got the best Of him, and last year
he failed and was indicted for embez-
element, but his brothers succeeded in
getting him out of the trouble. The
governor has offered q reward for his
arrest Nothing is known as to Burt's
whereabouts, although kilograms have
been sent all over the state and to out
side cities No motive for the crime is
known.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
[. H. PLATToR KILLED.
Shot Through the Heart While in the
Spokane Court House.

Shot Through the Heart while in the
Spokane Court House.
Spokane, Wash, Aug. 81. 81.
Plattor, well-known attorney and
Democratic politician, was shot and
almost instantly killed in the corridor
of the courthouse shortly before
O'Clock this evening. The shot was
fired by Henry Seiffert, restaurant
proprietor and sporting man, who is
also well known.
The tragedy resulted from remarks
made by Plattor in court. and which
Seiffert construed as reflection upon
his character. Seiffert was being
pressed before the court as admins
traitor Of the estate Of Rudolph Gorkow.
rich brewer, who died here this
week. Gorkow had married variety
actress about year ago, and the mar
riage was an unhappy one. He brought
suit for divorce shortly before his
death, and in his will cut his wife off
with dollar. She is contesting the
will, and there is struggle over the
administration of the estate. Plattor
represented some of the beneficiaries of
the will, opposing Seiffert. 1t had
been insinuated that Seiffert's 8 relations
with Mrs. Gorkow were not Of prop
er nature.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
DESTROYED BY FIRE.

Grass Valley Suffered Severe Loss
From the Flames.
Grass Valley, CAL, Aug. 8.-At $40
o'clock tonight. an alarm Of fire was
sounded for blaze in the opera house.
The fire started under store occupied
by Ismert and Webbe, and spread with
great rapidity. Soon the whole build
ing was enveloped in flames, and the
adjoining buildings commenced to burn
and, despite the work Of the fremen. it
looked as though the whole center por-
tion of the town would be destroyed.
The fire department Of Nevada City
came over to assist the local depart
ment, but scarcity of water hindered
them so they were Of little service un-
til an extra head Of water was turned
in to the supply ditch. The two de-
partments did great work and confined
the fire to the block bounded by Neal,
Church, Auburn and Bank streets.
The loss will exceed 800, 900, 1t is
thought. Insurance in most cases is
small, and the blow is hard one to
the city.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
UNPRECEDENTED RUN.
More Salmon Than the Lower River
Canneries Can Handle.

More Salmon Than the Lower River
Canneries Can Handle.
Astoria, Or, Aug. 3.-The receipts
Of salmon at the various lower river
oanneries continue unusually heavy
and are far in excess Of the capacity of
several Of the packing establishments.
Today the fish were so plentiful that
one Of Kinney's men delivered nearly
100, and near Sand Island it was re-
ported that the water was almost alive
with large chinooks. Many were re-
ported to have been taken with gaff
hooks by some Of the men who found
themselves in the midst Of a great
school Of fish. At one or two can
neries, where too many fish were re-
ceived, the loss is heavy. Tons Of the
fish are being thrown overheard at
Kinney's on account Of the lack of
means to preserve them until they could
be canned. As many as possible have
been salted for the winter use by the
citizens in the west end of town, and
were freely given to all who would
carry them away.
Fishermen assert that never since the
canning industry began has such run
been seen. It IL continues until the
close Of the season, the chances are IA
vorable for much larger pack than
had been anticipated. An unusual
feature Of the situation is the quality Of
the fish. which is fully equal to those
taken in June, the flesh being excep.
tional1y red and firm and the quality
of oil abundant,
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
Persecution Of Railway Claims.

Washington, Aug. S.-A complete
change Of policy in the method of gov
ernment prosecution Of railroads in the
West to recover lands erroneously pat
ented to them, is provided for in direc-
tons issued by the secretary Of the in
terror to the commissioner OF the gen.
eral land Office. In this rule is laid
down that all railroads against which
suits are now pending for vacation Of
patents under the act of March 3, 1887,
shall make showing as to the bona
fide purchasers from the road Of lands
patented, similar to the showing made
in the cases Of the Burlington & Mis-
souri, River and Union Patio roads.
Similar recommendation for the dis
missal of suits wherein non-bona fde
purchasers may retain title will here
after be made by the department in all
cases. The proceedings accordingly
can be hereafter instituted under the
act of March 2, 1896.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
ICEBERG PHENOMENA.
Their Presence In Low Latitudes Is Easily
Accounted For.

Their Presence In Low Latitudes Is Easily
Accounted For.
The occurrence of ice in the compare
lively low latitudes Of Cape Horn and
the Falkland islands is easily explained,
says The Pail Mall Gazette. The ice has
originally formed part of the great bar
rier which, with very few breaks, sur
rounds the vast antarctic continent, ris-
ing to an average height Of from $50
feet to 200 feet above and sinking from
LOO feet to 1,400 feet below the level
of the sea and having, moreover, a
thickness of something like 1900 feet
or 800 feet. 1t is solid perpendicular
wall of ice formed by the descent over
the lowlands into the sea of the ice
and snow which form on the mountains
inland, and when the forefronts are
pushed into depths Of about 300 or 400
fathoms large stretches are broken off
and float away northweard with the
current. When they start on their aim
less career, they may be miles in extent,
and though, as rule, they break up by
collision and erosion it is not at all un-
usual to encounter an island miles long
in the neighborhood of the extreme ice
limit.
For instance, the Coldinghame in this
region passed about 300 bergs, one of
which was ten miles long The Guilty
Sark, again, in latitude so south, lon
gitude AZ west, found by cross bearings
and distance run that the east side of
one berg which she encountered was 10
miles long At first the masses are
straight, fat topped and horizontally
stratifed-altogether unlike those met
with in the north. By the action of the
waves they are cut at the waters edge
into coves and caverns of a heavenly
blue color. Then, as they collide or get
melted away at the base by the action
of the water, they turn over and show
to the wandering mariner those fantas-
10 shapes which simply beggar all de-
scription. Naturally as they travel
farther north they become smaller and
still more strangely shaped and ulti-
mate1y melt away.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
All He Was Fit For.

The American says that in an Irish
court recently an old man was called
into the witness-box, and being old and
little blind, he went too far in more
senses than one, and instead Of going
up the stairs that led to the box, mount
ed those that led to the bench.
The Judge took the mistake good
humoredly.
els 1t judge you want to be, my
good manY he asked.
"Ah, sure, your honor" was the re-
ply, I'm an ould man now, and mebbs
It's all I'm fit for"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
CHURCHES or GRANADA.
At Once Magnificent and Bessar1y,
Solemn and Gay.

At Once Magnificent and Beg1ar1y,
Solemn and Gay.
It was In it's churches that thought
Granada at once most magnificent and
beggarly, most solemn and gay. 1
know nothing in France or Italy to
compare with the effect of the cathe-
dral when the sun-steeped streets were
left, the leather curtain was lifted,
and we were suddenly in darkness
in far shadows, vague, motionless fig
ures, PROSTATE before it. Their silent
-fervor in the strange, scented dusk gave
clue to the ecstasy of Theresa, Of
an Ignatius. But 1t was well to turn
back quickly into matter-of-fact day
light. To linger was to be reminded
that mystery has it's price, solemnity
its tawdriness. In cathedral and ca
pilla real IL we ventured to look at
the royal tombs, at the grille-which
even in Spain is without equaIat the
retab1os with their wealth of orna-
ment, one sacristan after another kept
close at our heels, impudently expect
ant.
If in unknown little church our eyes
grew accusto toned to darkness, 1t was
that they might be offended with Vir-
gins cleaning in silks and jewels, with
Christs clothed in petticoats. And if
we did once visit the Cartuja, it salts
fed our curiosity where other show
churches were concerned. The word
Cartuja hung upon the lips of every
visitor at the Hotel Roma. Foreign
ers wrestled hopelessly with it. Span
iards repeated 1t tenderly, as If in love
with it's gasping gutturals. We never
sat down to meat that some one did
not urge US to the enjoyment Of fts
wonders. At last, in self-defense, we
went. The Cartuja's architecture struck
us as elaborate, its decoration as aban-
doned as the gush that had sent us to
1t. 1t had not even the amusing gaiety
Of Bohemia's rococo, but was preten-
tious and forid in dull, vulgar way,
more in keeping with gilded cafe or
popular restaurant. But to this visit
my record owes place, since it was
our one concession to the guide-book's
commands. It pleased us better to
forget the exaggerated, tortured fam
boyance in the kindly twilight of
churches the names Of which we never
troubled to ask.-Century.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06

Chicago, Aug. s.-Mr. sheneman is
in Chicago, after ride by wheel from
Seattle. He left the coast June 1, ex-
pecting to reach Columbus, O., by o.
tober 1. After he had crossed two
states on his journey he made such
good time that he decided to keep as
far ahead of his schedule as he could.
Shortly after leaving Seattle Sheneman
reached the desert which exetnds from
Prosser Falls to Umatilla, and in at
tempting to CROSS the thirty-fve miles
of sandy fields the tourist nearly lost
his life. He could not ride the wheel
through the sand. and had to dismount
and push 1t ahead of him. All the
water in his canteen had been con-
sumed before he had covered half the
desert, and when he reahced the Co.
lumbia river he fell exhausted on the
bank.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
without Photoeraphy.

Drawings on paper can be trans
ferred to wood or metal. IL executed in
crayon or ordinary writing ink, by
moistening the copy in strong solu-
ton Of .caustic potash and alcohol
Place the copy face downward on the
wood or metal, rub down with folder,
or take a proof on an ordinary proof
press This Is useful information for
those who wish to obtain transfer Of
a design or label for the purpose of en-
craving, as a die for embossing, or 9TH
er purposes where Photographic mate
rails are not accessible.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
He Completed the Circuit.

San Francisco, Aug. S.-Morris Otis
man, an apprentice in g. Speir's
ladies' tailroing shop, was instantly
killed this afternoon. He was sitting
at his sewing machine, his feet on the
iron pedal, and attempted to cut or
brush aside the electric wires which
convey power to the machine. His
shears must have touched the wires,
for stream of sparks marked the con-
tact. Oltsman's body completed the
circuit, the full strength Of the current
coursed through his frame. and with a
CRY he fell over dead.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
sRADsTREET's REPORT
Political Uncertainty Has an Unfavor-
able Effect.

Political Uncertainty Has an Unfavor-
able Effect.
New York, Aug. 3.-Bradstreet's 8. 9
weekly review of trade says: Political
uncertainty continues to have an unfa-
vorable effect on trade, and Industrial
and mercantile lines are unusually
dull. Mercantile credits are closely
scanned, and in many cases shortened.
The insdustrial situation is less favor
able. Among manufacturers OF iron
and steel it is regarded as serious in
some lines. owing to the surprising
falling of in the demand. The reduc-
tion Of pig iron is further curtailed, yet
stocks increase. The outlook is for a
further decline in iron and steel prices.
Chicago offers concessions on pig to
bring bids for round lots. Curtailments
of products in cotton fabrics continues,
yet fall purchasers in prints are Of
small volume. The demand for boots
and shoes is also smaller.
Exports of wheat -four included as
wheat, from both coasts Of the United
States for last week amount to 2,484,-
900 bushels, as compared with 8,074,-
600 bushels for the corresponding week
of last year.
The total number of business fail
ures in the United States this week is
294, as compared with $50 last week.
The increase, as contrasted with the
corresponding total in 1895, is seventy
three, or an average of ten each day
during the week. There are thirty
seven failures reported in the Canadian
dominion this week. six more than last
week and thirteen more than In the
corresponding week last year. and only
six more than in the like week in 1894.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-08-06
4. An Indiana Tragedy.

vincennes, Ind, Aug. s.-Thomas
Prather, a farmer, and Miss Maud
Delay, daughter Of q wealthy farmer,
eloped from Sanborn, this county, and
drove to this city and were married.
They then drove back to Sanborn, when
an alteration took place between
Prather and Clyde Delay, brother Of
the bride. Prather fatally shot the
new brother-in-law in the abdomen.
The elopement was planned some time
ago, but Prather's marriage license
was foroibly taken from him by MEM
bers of the young woman's family.