Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-10-03

"that it's a violation of ordinance No.
b046. If one of those mounted policemen
comes along and that thing howls at him,
you'll go to Jail. !"
But Barker evidently thought that was
all nonsense He didn't care if it violated
the whole council series from A to lizard
He had got hold of an elegant thing and
was going to stick to it, and was gay
sort of man to recommend it to him and
then advise him to give it up. All this
time the photograph was talking in tone
of deep disgust to a heavy individual who
was pedaling along in leisurely way just
in front of us, and who must have been
stone deaf or he would certainly have
clambered down and punched Barker's
head.
Then was initiated into the mysteries
of the thing and saw how, by pushing a
small attachment down so that it rubbed
on the front wheel, the mechanism of the
phonograph was made to revolve, and it
shouted out whatever was in it until the
clamp was released. Barker said he had
talked into it half day, and it was evil
IDENTIFY well supplied with a vocabulary.
By the time we got to the club-for we
belong to club, both of us-Barker was
in state of hilarious delight, and half of
the dogs, children and old ladies in town
were on the verge Of frenzy. OF course all
the other fellows in the club had to learn
all about it, and Barker pushed his ma
chine around on the sidewalk and made
the photograph curse them and all their
relatives to the tenth generation, which
seemed to afford them the most unbounded
pleasure.
As fitting conclusion to the evening s
entertainment we all went up stairs, and
I regret to say that Barker, after placing
the phonograph carefully on table beside
him, got as drunk as lord and talked and
sang and shouted in very scandalous and
disgraceful way.
After it was all over l took him home
and put him to bed, and while doing this
he informed me in a maudlin and discon-
nected way that he was going out riding
the next evening with the two Cutter girls
daughters of old man Coupon Cutter, one
Of the directors in the bank, and he wished
would happen to drop around and ride
with the big one, SO he could talk to the
little one. He said that was his only
friend, and that he loved the little one.
He did not love her in an ordinary way,
either, but in a way in which no one ever
had loved before.
Now like Barker, and he is friend of
mine, and as matter of course it was only
common charity to help him out in a case
like that So gave him lot of good ad.
vice about how to doctor his head in the
morning which he received with very
bad grace, and promised to be in the neigh
borhood of old Cutters the next evening
without fail
was little late getting off, and had
hardly got within sight Of the house on
the following night when I met the two
girls and Barker coming toward me. He
seemed to be in high spirits and was par
ticularly jolly when they met me. want
ed to ask him about the monograph, but
hesitated to do so. He Immediately men
toned the matter himself, however, and
explained that the youngest Miss Cutter
was infatuated with the thing and had in
sisted on having it put on her bicycle, and
that they all were anxiously waiting for
something to get in the way so they could
give it trial. afterward discovered that
Barker had represented to them that the
whole thing was his own idea, and they
had declared that he was wonderfully in
genious
We had gone about three blocks, Barker
and the little one'' being in front and
the elder Miss Cutter and myself in the
rear, when a man tried to cross the street in
front Of lis.
"Hoorayl Gimme another drinkr' said
the monograph in CHASTITY counterfeit Of
Barkers voice.
The man gazed at us in establishment
and fell into the gutter, Barker's machine
wabbled violently, and could see that his
nerve had crumbled, while I felt shiver
along my own spine as I took in the situa-
ton.
"Her golden hair was hanging down her
--h-h-hic-back!' sang the wretched in
strument in Barker's well known treble.
Evidently "the little one" couldn't loosen
the clamp.
Drops Of sweat stood on Barker's brow,
and he tried to turn it off as joke.
Funny, amt it?" said he "Never can
tell what it will say"
"You're liarP' screamed the phono-
graph. "Come long now and pass the
whisk."
could sec "the little one'' turn pale,
and the elder Miss Cutter was looking dag
gers at Barker.
"Tra La la, ira La la, WOW, WOW, WOW,
whoopee!" said the monograph.
"Shay," it continued in a confidential
whisper, "I'm struck on the-hic-pretti-
est-hic-girl"-
"Take it OFF, growled Barker, making
lunge at the instrument but his equilib-
rum was gone, and he fell into an igno-
minious heap on the pavement.
"Ho! ho you're drunk" shrieked the
machine derisively as we started on and
left him.
"Mr Perkins,, said the elder Miss Cut
ter, dismounting and pointing imperiously
in the direction of her sister wheel, take
that thing off"
I obeyed her with the utmost alacrity
and cast it at the dark spot where its own
er was reposing.
"Now," said the elder Miss Cutter,
"take us home, sir"
And SO did, and when old man Cutter
looked at me in an inquiring way over the
top of his glasses felt as guilty as man
who had robbed bank and strangled the
janitor.
They didn't ask me to come in, and so
went off to hunt up Barker. I found him
sitting on the curbstone pounding at some
thing with brick.
"What's that" said L
II never saw man who could ask so
many foolish questions" said he sulkily,
and then he climbed up on his bicycle and
rode away, and now understand that the
board of directors have become economical
and cut down his salary. New Orleans
Times Democrat.
Manning and Newman.