Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1896-08-07
CUTTLE'S SURPRISE.
Why His Wife Cried 1t Out Alone
There Was q Hitch.

There Was Hitch.
Thursday was the anniversary Of Mr..
and Mrs. Cuttle's marriage, and Mrs.
Cutie said to neighbor that she
thought it would be awfully cute to get
up surprise party for her husband and
celebrate the event, says the New York
Recorder.
1T would be just too lovely for any
thing" the neighbor declared, with an
emphatic shake of the head.
So Mrs. Cutie went about the neigh
bOrhood with great secrecy, and she
also invited several of her husbands
business friends, and the program she
laid out for refreshments was one we'll
calculated to please. Everybody was
to meet at the house at o'clock sharp
and give Mr.. Cutie such surprise
when he arrived home from the store
at this, his invariable hour, as would
stay in his recollection forever.
Hush" said Mrs. Cutie to herself,
noticing that 1t was o'clock, and she
went softly out into the shed to con-
coct the cooling ice-cream.
1t appears that the only headache
Mr. Cutie remembers indulging in in
eighteen years visited him on this par
ticular day, and this was the reason,
he now says, that he left the store at
Z o'clock in defiance to all precedent
and went heavily homeward. Entering
the house and not finding his wife, Mr..
Cutie went directly upstairs, and, get
ting into bed, laid his splitting head on
the pillow and presently was locked in
sleep. Two hours later, when the
guests arrived, he was scheduled for an
all-night run, with no stops at way
stations.
All innocently the merry, merry
guests filed in.
"Hush!" cried everybody in hoarse
whispers, stepping on each other and
letting off little, subdued screams, while
Mrs. Cutie ushered them into the
darkened parlors, where they were to
lie in ambush till Mr.. Cutie should
appear.
And there they stayed and stayed and
stayed for two never-ending hours,
while Mrs. Cutie kept wondering
where her husband could be, and run
ming frequently to the door and crying
finally till little gentleman in a red
necktie, who was tired of having two
fat ladies stand on his feet, wanted to
know in sarcastic voice II it wouldn't
be good idea, just by way of variety,
to play something else.
"Oh, DEAR" walled Mrs. Cutie, wiring
ing her hands, you don't suppose
there's an accident, do you?"
Whereat the little man in the red
necktie said that it seemed to him as
though there was a hitch somewhere,
but he supposed he could stand it If the
others could, and at this Mrs. Cutie
broke out crying afresh and went up to
the bedroom for a new handkerchief
to weep into, and when she turned on
the gas and saw her husband sleeping
there so sweetly, with anything but an
expression or surprise depicted on his
countenance, she went softly back to
where the guests were waiting and
pointed out to them in calm and dis
passionate way how much better 1t
would be for them to 60 quietly home
at once and say nothing about it.
And this they did, walking over each
others dresses in a dull and spiritless
way, while the little man in the red
necktie took occasion to add that for
his part he was as fond Of surprise
parties as anybody in the world, he
thought, but so far as his observation
went-and he believed it extended
considerable distance-it seemed to
him that in such cases it was apt to
make something Of q difference who
was the party surprised.
But Mrs. Cutie cried it out alone.