The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1896-08-27
THE GLOBE-REPUBLICAN.
Wants q Square Meal.

Old-time Democrats among the Repub
licans is no uncommon thing any more
Some of them speak seriously and some
humorously of the change, but the most
! humorous letter we have read yet is the
one herewith published, from the Toronto
CO., Tribune, of August 18th. The writer
refers to Democracy's fatal spree at
Chicago, and Irritation with POpulists
and anarchists, but the ''gold cure'' will
be given in November. J. NJ. Kirkpat-
rick, of Dodge City, can vOuch for the
correctness of the letter, as he is acquaint-
ed with the parties named. The follow
ing is the editors comments and the
letter:
The following highly interesting COM
munication, read to the Mckinley club at
Thursday nights meeting. was written by
one of TorOnto's former best known and
most highly respected citizens and in
tiuential Democrats, now a resident of
Cincinnati, who cannot ''2O" the Chi
cagO l6 to dOse," and hence, has come
out ''flat footed" for Mckinley and sound
mOney-On the same side of the fence
with his old opponent, "Markle Marker"
after 10! these many years. Such letter
coming from DR.. j. w. Collins. for he the
writer is, cannot fail to have great effect
on his hosts of old political friends in
this place and vicinity in the interest of
sound money, occupying as he does the
highest position in the estimation of the
entire people of this communicable old
home.-whO know aud fully appreciate
his worth; and such letter coming from
a staunch and life long Democrat will
cause voters to think several times before
casting Is to ballot next November.
The letter reads as follows:
COL. LINs TO THE ''MARKLE MARKER"
Well! WE'LL! well!.! after all these years
Of happy home life with old mother Dem.
ocracy here we are right among all these
Republicans. Who would ever have
thought it? We lived happily together
till the old lady in an unguarded moment
took most unlucky trip to that wicked
city OF Chicago in company with some
wild larks known as the "Altgelds,"
''Tillman's" ''NlcLeans, etc, who induc-
ed her to take ''l6 drinks where she had
formerly only taken one. This set her
fearfully wild and caused her to do some
high and lofty kicking, exhibiting to the
public gaze an immense quantity of very
badly soiled linen; made faces at the
supreme court; threw amOrOus kisses to
frOwZy headed Anarchists and flirted
openly with long whiskered Populists.
She turned deaf ear to all her old
friends and admirers, refusing the Bland
smiles of Missouri; frowning on the
handsome "Boies," Of Iowa, and utterly
refused to recognize her late benefactOr
in feb; orh Of I'd poxy -
She was offered plenty Of horses to ride.
both light and ''dark,'' but she refused
them all-even turning up her nose at a
nice sleek "Campbell'' that was meekly
kneeling, gaily caparisOned and saddled,
for safe trip to the white house; choos-
ing rather to bestride an imaginary ''cross
of gold,' and with scrown of silver
thorns" set awry upon her disheveled
hair she turned down ''Hilr' to her ever
lasting destruction.
When she came home so disgraced, and
in such a humOr, we could no longer take
our meals at her miserably kept house,
and have come over to take one good
square meal with ''you ALL" When she
comes to her senses, which will only be
after she has received an hyperdermic in.
lection Of the double chloride of gold on
the Sd day of November, many of us will
no doubt return home. However, if
your cook could be induced not TO season
the food ''too high and not put too
much ''sugar" in our coffee. some of lis
might remain as permanent boarders in
the family.
Now. please don't get ''woolly'' over
this and order us ont before you make
our acquaintance. It is sad thing to
have to part company with an old friend
after so many years of hardship and toll
together. when scanty fare and dearth
of postoffices caused US to stick closer
and closer-but there are times when the
choice between evils causes Us to stop
and carefully calculate which is the least.
ut. AH5Hya, Cincinnati. ;faly 80, 1896.