davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning times., 1896-02-16

mother, but I guess he doesn't think
| the President has enough OF it,"
''Not much he don't interjected Willie.
There's always people calling him
| down"
"Ah! perhaps you'd like to be an auto
crat like the Gar of Russia, suggested
| the caller.
Mix" returned Willie, emphatically.
He has heard about the trouble that the
/ car has in keeping out OF the way of
| bombs said his mother
'WeIl, there are always some draw
| backs to positions OF great power, Willie,
| explained the caller pleasantly.
Willie shook his head.
When ii comes TO bein' a big man. he
said, ''an' havin' people knuckle down to
! you an all that, I'd ruther be janitor OF this
| flat building than be the Car OF ten
| Russias."
II told you that Willie liked absolute
power" said his mother quietiy.-Chicago
! Post.
The morning times., 1896-02-16

''It's cinch," was the contemptuous re-
mark of the urchin Try it again"
Another man tried it, and again was the
proverb verified about the battle not a ,Fays
being TO the strong.
The crowd wondered.
''How do you do it, kid?' said one.
''Humph, dat's tellin' )" he replied. y win
more money at dat game dan kin lose
shooting the cubes.'
give you quarter to tell"
"ItSa go, boss. Now, watch me, and the
urchin climbed on the machine again.
"Gi NE a cent" said he.
"What for?'' asked the man.
"What for? Why, to stick in me mug;
den puts me mout' on de slot and pokes in
de cent wild me tongue, see? OATS what
fur? It's dead easy when yer on. Savvy?"
The crowd Savvied.-New York Tribune.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
A Fat Star.

Delna, the present star OF the opera
Comique, in Paris, is a very fat young
woman who has a mustache and very
redundant figure. She is described as look
ing as if she never washed her face and al
most never combed her hair. Her voice is
bad and her dramatic knowledge limited,
but she is success. Four years ago she
was singing in a cafe chantant of not par
ticularly good haracter.-London Tele-
craph.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Noes of a Dusky Queen.

The Queen Of Madagascar smiled bitterly
After spending thousands in Paris for
Worth dresses
shepaused behind a rocky eninence to get
her breath, and brush away the mud which
had accumulated on an exquisite creation
OF mauve silk and yellow lace.
here am thrown downby the FrenchP'
Biting yiciouay into a cake Of navy
tobacco, she crawled into a cave and
waited until the Cuirassiers in pursuit had
lost themselves in the Jungle.-Pick-Me-Cp
The morning times., 1896-02-16
A Confusing Tongue.

Mrs. Vanderslang-Now tell me, Count.
how do you like America?
Count Parleyvoo-Ah! chere madam, your
guntry ant your LADIES' are charmant-but
your lanGweedge-youri idioms-I gan notat
all comprehend. You say, when your butter
is goot eet ees vrcsh, ant dat your Ieedle poy
ees vresh when hee's spoiled.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
THE PENNY
IN THE SLOT

The two men stood in front OF the penny
the face. as though from some immense mus
culsr exertion.
''Now let me see if read the directions
right" said one. taking another look at the
paragraph in a newspaper. "Yes, we tried
il right. This is what it says:
"'An that is necessary IL you wish TO be
weighed on penny -in-the1slotmachine, and
haven't got the penny, is to apply your lips
to the slot and blow hard. The air cannot
The morning times., 1896-02-16
right on hand, but I don't tech ashes no

right on hand, but I don't tech ashes no
no."
whats the matter with ashes?''
Heaps de mattah, mum. Last Job
worked on found three knives, five fo'ks,
seben spoons, two towies an a dollar in
cash in de ash heap. an what yo' dun s'pose
&c jedge gimme fur it?''
Il don't understand she said.
why. a policeman took me TO cot. an
de ledge gimme three months in jail.'''
He must have thought you stole the
things
'Sartinly, mum, sartinly, an dat's why
L say dat, OWN TO suspishus occupashun
of de suspected suspishun, Tze heaharter
gwine to hold myself right down TO white
washin and ca petS.-DetFoit Free Press.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Cost Of Liyina in Maine.

Names Labor Commissioner has been
gathering statistics on the cost of living in
that State. He figures that the average
daily cost of living is 81 cents for each in
diyidual in the average family. The cost
of living to single men, boarding, is 4e
cents. These figures cover rent, food, fuel
and light-Boston Herald.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Mental Diversions.

Mr.. Ferry-Why on earth do you spend
so much time running around pricin things
you have no intention OF buying?
Mrs. Ferry-For the same reason, ] sup
pose, that you sit around reading the
sporting column of the paper and figuring
up how much you might have won If you
were betting man. 1t is a sort of mental
diversion.-Cinc cinnatl En- quirer.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
He Chooses His Job.

There was an old coiored man pushing
wnitewash cart along Brush street the
other afternoon. when a woman opened a
chamber window and called to him:
'Hey, you! Do you want job?''
what sort OF job, mum?'' he asked as
stood at the gate.
Carrying ashes out OF the cellar
"Werry sorry, mum, but / couldn't do
dat job. L used TO be in de ashes busi-
ness, but Pze dun quit 1t. II it was
whitewashin' or beatin' a ca'pet, I'd be
The morning times., 1896-02-16
A Mistaken Prescription.

he was travelling along one of the prin.
mouthful OF food all the morning. But
that was not his fault. If one could get
anything by simply asking for 1t he would
have been sole proprietor OF the earth.
As lie turned TO go up a side street a
small dog came running out OF yard and
bit his leg.
The woman OF the house came out TO see
what the trouble was, and the tramp told
her.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Philadelphia Press.

Picking up the dog in her arms, she
asked the tramp what would be good
for IL.
Visions of snake-bite cure floated before
the hungry mans mind as he feelingly re-
Piled "Wen, mum, think about pint
OF good, imported whisky Will set me up
ali right again.
The woman looked at him in surprise.
"Oht" said she haughtily, Il didn't mean
you; i meant the dog."-Life.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
His Idea of Power.

81 suppose you expect TO be President
some day, Willie?" said the caller pleas
antly.
Not much,'' replied Willie promptly.
What" exclaimed the visitor in as
tonishment. "Think what great mar
the President is, and how grea t his pow wer.
Willie likes power,' explained his
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Their Need.

Miss Cycleton-Mrs. Wheeler's husband
Is too mean TO live.
Miss Sprockett-How so?
Miss Cycleton-Why, the other day he
overheard me saying to his wife that we
ought to have a bicycle club, and he sang
out coarsely, whats the matter with an
ax?"-Puck.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
DiSapDeared.

He folded his tent like the Arab,
And silently stole away;
Aud our best siIverware, with other things
rare,
Accompanied him that day.
Detroit Free Press.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Reasonable Objection.

Il don't object, Alice" said the patient
father, ito your trying to make yourself
look like man. All object TO is the kind
of man you succeed in looking hke.''-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Gone.

''He gouer' she cried: and 1t was left
For anyone 10 know,
Who saw him sitting there with her,
That he was badly so.
Detroit Tribune.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Easily ARRANGED.

Mrs. Hiram-I don't quite like engaging
a girl without references.
Bridget Nohelp-Thats all right, min.
You can pay me month in advance.-Lfe.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
In the AQue District.

Caddington-I hear your Uncle Bob's
made a fortune in the saloon business in
Arkansas?
r Fulljames-Yep. He had great scheme
gave quinine pill with every drink
Puck.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
A Tarara.

At the Shop WINDOW.
"Ain't thin illigint dimands?"
''Yis; fur tn love av hiyen LUX at thot
tarara. Judge.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Execution to the Rule.

They "beat the Dutch" we often say
In hope to be expressive;
'Twould be, to speak of troops this way
Who went to Boeriand t'other day,
Mendacity excessive.
San Francisco Examiner.
The morning times., 1896-02-16
Her Proposal.

In world of somebodies,
Wearisome to see.
Dull the lot Of nobodies
Such as you and me.
But, since there are two OF US
Blots upon the sun
Let us wisely wed, and then
We shall count las one.
. --Chicago Record.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

The cannerymen who will pack fall
fish. so far as can be learned. are ].
o. Hanthorn. NJ. J. Kinney. ]. w Cook,
J. C. Megler. and the Pillar Rock can
merry. Mr. Kinney will not start up for
several days yet.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
MONTANA REPUBLICANS.

Helena, Mont. Sept 9.-rhe Rcpuh'
lican state convention met at noon and
accomplished nothing until night. ow.
Ing to u contest. United States sem
ator Lee Mantle. chairman OF the state
central committee. sdrcssed the con.
Ncntion, lie urged the delegates u
carry cut the plan recommended In the
rv.lort of the Rutto conference. That
plan recommended both factions 10 ~
maln together and nominate state
ticket and adopt a platform excepting
the financial clause when the silver
men viii withdraw and each faction
inset u clause to It's liking. besides
each nominating their own congress.
men and set OF electors.
At the night session. by u vote Of
1856 to lbt. the convention seated the
Mantle contesting delegation from
Butte. giving the silver men absolute
control OF the convention. Nominations
will be reached tomorrow.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
A VERY STRONG
DOCUMENT


is worthy ot credit or confidence can
AFFORD to say explicitly on u question
vital to every interest what Il means
when such meaning is challenged or
doubted, II is desirable that We should
make Il known at once, and authorita.
lively that an honest dollar" means
any dollar equivalent to gold dollar
of the present standard of weight and
tineness, The world should likewise
be assured that the standard dollar OF
America is an inaexible quantity as
the French Napoleon. the British SOW
erelgn, or the German sO-mark piece,
The free coinage of silver at the ratio
OF l6 to l is a policy which no nation
has ever before proposed. aud 1t is not
today permitted In any mint In the
world, not even In Mexico II is pur-
posed to make the coinage unlimited.
at an absolutely fictitious ratio. liked
with no reference to intrinsic value or
pledge ot ultimate redemption. With
silver at its present price of less than
seventy cents per ounce In the market.
such policy means an immediate
profit to the seller nt silver, for which
there is no return now or hereafter to
the people or the government. II means
that for each dollars worth OF silver
bullion delivered at the mint. practi-
cally two dollars OF stamped coin will
be given in exchange. For 100 dollars
worth of bullion nearly sOO silver dol.
lars will bc delivered Let II also be
remembered that the cuusoquences OF
such an act would probably be cumu-
lative In their effects, The crop OF
silver, unlike that of hay or wheat or
corn which, being oC yearly produc-
tion, can be regulated by the law OF
supply and demand. is liked once for
all, The silver which has not Yet been
gathered Is all In the ground. Dcarth
or other accident ut the elements can
not augment or diminish II, II is not
more than probable that, with the vnor-
nous premium offered for the mining,
the cupidity OF man would make an
oversupply continuously with the ne
ceSsyry result OF steady depreciation
as long as the silver dollar could be
put in circulation at all. Under the
laws Of finance which are as fixed as
those ot any other science. the incvita-
BILE result would finally be currency
all and absolutely nat. There is no
difference in principle between u dollar
half fiat and one all nat The latter,
as the cheapest, under the logic OF
cheap money" would surely drive the
other out
Any attempt on the part Of the gov
rnment to create by its fat money
fictitious value would dishouor us in
the eyes Of other peoples, and bring In
finite reproach on the national char
acter. The business and financial con
sequences Of such an immoral act
would be worldwide because our COM
mercial relations are worldwide.
All our settlements with other lands
must be made. not with the money
which may 6e legally current in our
own country. but In gold the standard
Of all nations with which our relations
are most cordial and extensive. and no |
legislative enactment can free us from
that inevitable necessity. 1t is a known |
fact that more than eighty per cent OF |
the commerce OF the world is settled |
in gold or on a gold basis.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
SPEAKERS ASSIGNED.

Chicago. Sept. 9,--Betwecn sixty and
seventy speakers have been assigned
by Chairman Hahn, OF the Republican
speakers bureau. In the past two days
and arrangements FOR over 50J
speeches, extending as far west as the
Rockies, Among the prominent men
assigned today are Warner Miller. OF
New York. and Congressman Dlnglcy.
OF Maine. who will speak In Michigan.
Indiana. Ohio and Illinois
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
ODD FELLOWS PICNIC.

Gateway Rebekah Lodge will give a
basket picnic to Seaside on Friday,
llth September, for odd Fellows and
their families only. All members Of the
order, visiting and resident, are invlt-
ed to attend. Tickets can be procured
at the train and from members Of the
order. Price. soc; children under II
half fare; under five, free. Cars leave
Telephone dock at 1850, and 1890 a. m.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
NOTICE TO PASSENGERS.

The particular attention OF the public
is called to the fact that no tickets will
be sold to way stations on the Sea-
shore road on first-class trains. Ref
erence to the published time cards will
show that on first-class trains passen-
gers will be carried only between AS
toria, Warrenton. Carnahan. Gearhart
Park and Seaside. Passengers for
sunnymead, Skipanon. Morrison, Glen
wood, Weston. Clatsop City. Butter
field, Ohanna, will take Second-class
trains.
C. z. LESTER Stunt
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
CALL FOR WARRANTS.

Notice is hereby given to all parties
holding Clatsop county warrants in
dorsed prior to August Sth, 1894, to pre-
sent the same to the county treasurer
for payment, as interest viii cease
from this date.
Dated this 1st day Of September A.
D. 1896. b. L. WARD,
Treasurer Of Clatsop Co.. Or.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
C. F. LESTER, supt.
NOTICE OF DISSOLUTION.

Notice is hereby given. that the part
nership heretofore existing between
Sam E. Harris and Charles Wright, Of
Astoria, Oregon. under the firm name
of Harris & Wright. has been by mu-
tual consent. this day dissolved, the
said Sam E. Harris continuing the said
business, collecting all Of the outstand-
ing accounts and paying all the debts
OF said firm.
Dated this 1st day of September, 1896.
SAM. E. HARRIS,
CHAS. WRIGHT.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
TO PARENTS.

The Sisters OF the Convent Of the
Holy Names have arrived in Astoria,
and will remain here permanently.
They can be found at their residence,
Judge Taylor's former home, Frank
lin avenue and 18th street. Those who
desire to make application for terms
Of tuition, music, etc, will please call.
SISTER SUPERIOR.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

10 READERS.-The' Daily Astorian'
contains twice As much reading matter a'
any other paper published In Astoria II
Is the only paper that presents Its readers
with daily telegraPhie report
TO ADVERTISERS The "Daily As
torian'' has more than twice as many read
ers As any other paper published In Asto-
ria. Il Is therefore more than twice as
valuable as an advertising medium.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
III HUNG CHANG.
WIN Arrive In Vancouver Saturday
Preparations to Receive Him,

Vancouver. II, c., Sept, e--lI Huns
Chang Is expected hore Saturday and
tho local Cinnamon have made extcn
slve preparations TO welcome their dis
tinguIshcd countryman, A trlumphal
arch ot immense size is being erected
at the Canadian Pacific depot and a
plentiful supply ot fireworks has been
obtained
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
AN INQUIRY.

Astoria, or, Sept 10th. 1896.
Editor Astoridn:--
\ certain paper OF the city has
standing statement at the head OF It's
column on the fourth page. as follows:
The circulation is guaranteed TO be
larger than any paper in Astoria"
II has evidently dawned upon the
mind OF its proprietor that the --- is
not paper. which has long been ap-
parent to the general public.
CUMTUX.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
GRAND ANNOUNCEMENT.

The Olympian Roller Skating Rink
will open on Saturday evening, Sept
18th, 1896, at Erickson's Hall, 7th and
Astor streets, under the management Of
Geo. N. Berry, champion roller skater
Of California. Watch for further an
nouncement.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
NOTICE TO SHIPPERS.

Shippers are hereby notified that To-
cal freight to points on the seashore
road will be received at the Telephone
dock only. All freight must be delIv-
cred one hour before train time No
freight will be received after 4:3O D. IN.
c. r. LESTER, supt.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
BOARD OF EQUALIZATION MEET,
ING.

Notice Is hereby given that beginning
on Monday, September rs, 1896. at II
o'clock a m, in the office Of the
county clerk. the Board OF Equal
ization OF Clatsop county will hold
meeting for the purpose OF pub
licly examining and correcting all err
rors OF valuation and description OF
lands or other property appear
ing on the assessment rolls OF
Clatsop county; when and where
it is the duty Of all persons 10
appear II they wish corrections made
in said rolls. as no corrections or alter
ations can be made on said rolls by any
officer after the adjournment OF said
board. ALFRED GIBBONS.
County Assessor.
Astoria, September 3, 1896.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
The u. S. 0oV'f Reports
show Royal Baking Powder
superior to all Others
SALVATION ARMY.

Big welcome meeting TO Major ard
Mrs. Parker, the new leaders Of the
n. p. division. viii be given In the
Army Hall on September 1890. Coflee
and cake after the meeting on the 10Th.
iOc. The Major and Mrs. Parker viii
lead all meetings on Sunday. All are
welcome.
ENSIGN II. Z. NELSON
Charm Is as hard TO analyzc as per
fume.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

The best chemical compound for wosh-
ing powder is Soap Foam as 1t will
not yellow the cloth ss," nor burn the
hands. It's the finest thing In the world
for the bath. One trial will convince
you
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
Advertise.

Go to Elmore, sanbOrn's office and see
their new and handsome twlne testing
machine. Take along some Of the twines
"as good as Marshall's." in your pocket,
and test them. Then zee how much more
MarshalPs will stand. IT'S money in your
pocket and fish in you net TO find out
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

The steamer Mayflower yesterday
down the Columbia to ScarborO heads,
Chinook Beach, consisting Of Mr.. Ell
more and daughters, Miss Sue Elmore
and Miss Floe Elmore, Mr.. and Mrs.
H. T. Crosby, and son. Mr.. f. c. Cros-
by, Miss Marion Rice, Miss Polly Nc
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
OUR CORNER.

A genteman's resort. at corner Bond
and 18th streets. The finest brands Of
liquors and cigars always on hand. Call
and try US.
ANDERSON & PETERSON.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
TELL 1T OUT.

Don't sit down and wait for trade,
'Taint the way
Get a hustle, make her show,
Push your business-make her go,
Don't sit down ind wait for trade,
'Talnt the way,
'Talnt the way,
If you've got something to sell,
Tell 1t about,
let your neighbors see you're "ny,"
Get up bargains" don't say die,
II you've anything to sell,
Tell II out,
Tell 1t out,
Folks don't know you II you don't
Advertise,
Keep things movln' every day,
Talk about It; that's the way,
Folks won't know you II you don't
Advertise,
Advertise,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

Family communication tickets TO Clat-
sop beach over the Seashore railroad
can be had on application to the aud
itoT. Room 4, Flavel Block.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
To CURE A COLD ONE nav

nv NbhI ~ CObD ~ OEfh DhIg
Take laxative BrOmo Quinine Tablets.
All druggists refund the money If it
fails TO cure. 25c. For sale by Chas.
Rogers, Druggist.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

Use WebfOOt Corn Cure. No
cure no pay. For sale at ES-
tes-COnn Drug Store.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
ToDAY's WEATHER.

Forecast-For Washington and Ore
gon. fair weather. warmer in western
Oregon.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

The coronation Of the Car and
American politics. illustrated by
Stereo- Electrical tableauN, exhibited by
DIR. DeKannet Tuesday evening at
Fishers Han.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

Carbons are the only permanent
photos as well as the most artistic,
and Snodgrass knows how to make
them.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

Meany Is the leading tailor. and pays
the highest cash price for fur skins.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10
YESTERDAYS WEATHER.
p. n. CorSets
are fine filters.

Maximum temperature, eS degrees
Minimum temperature, A degrees.
Precipitation. none.
Total precipitation from September
LIST, 1896. to date, .02 inch.
Deficiency Of precipitation from Sep
tember LIST. 1896, to date, La inches.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

At 2 o'clock Saturday afternoon An
drew Dalgity and Harry Phillips will
run race on Duane street for S25 a
side
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

An enthusiastic Mckinley man is
wearing a Bryan button on his back
because the Popullstic candidate is be-
hind.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

Mrs Ray, business and test medium.
Circles Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday
evening. Admission to circles, 10 cts,
readings so cents. 44O Bond street,
Room 3
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

Regular meeting Of the ladies Of the
w. C, T. U, win be held in Rescue
parlors this Thursday afternoon at ?
o'clock. A full attendance is desired,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-09-10

Family computation tickets TO Clat-
sop beach over the Seashore railroad
can be had on application to the aud
itor, Room 4, Flavel Block.