davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1896-12-09
LOA-.D -A-1s.

rcrcwfng werc the in the San Francisco
s:cck Eoard Yesterday:
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
He Was Too Realistic.

Last winter number of literary peo-
pie indulged from time to time in anna
teur theatricals During February they
produced comedy. One of the actors
played the part of a burglar. and had to
climb up the outside of the house in
which the entertainment was given and
enter through the window which was at
the rear of the improyised stage.
He hurried round from the dressing
rooms and valiantly commenced to
struggle up the wall, when policeman
grasped him by the neck, thinking him
veritable burglar.
He started to explain, but the minion
Of the law would have none of it. The
audience was wondering in the mean
time why the play did not proceed. and
the young actors and actresses on the
stage were eagerly waiting for the buzz
glar to enter and give them their cue.
when they heard shrieks. yells, oaths
and threats from the garden. Rushing
out they found the master burglar
thrashing wildly about the grass, while
brawny policeman sat on his shoulders
hammering his neck into the mud. -
Strand Magazine.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
RN!!a!;!!!! a! pssss:ss: p!'|:::'. ps:ss;ss
a.estOt ah = rovernrneH' 900
Eils- Latest = Absolutely Pure
shakespeare. Hsroines.

The fact that boys acted his heroines
may have impelled Shakespeare to pre-
sent his Rosalind, Imogen, Julia and
Viola in doublet and hose, because in
male attire the boys must have looked
and acted their best. 1t is more easy to
conceive male representative OF Lady
Macbeth than Of Juliet, but we, with
our advantages, can never be wholly
reconciled to the idea Of woman
played by man. The greatest revolu-
tion in the history of the modern drama
was the introduction Of women upon
the stage. This change was caused not
merely by art considerations, but arose
in part from the laxity of morals and Of
manners at the restoration; but never
thelsss what a mighty and beneficent
change it wasl What gifts and grace
what loveliness, purity, tenderness,
genius, charm, have been shown to the
delighted world since women have beer
PLAYED by women within the confines oi
the magic wooden OF How did, how
could, the players of Shakespeare's tims
procure boys Of such intelligence. beau
ty, delicacy of mind, that they coult
worthily personate pure, lovely, NOBLE
womenf
Could we now tolerate any youth il
such parts as Imogen, Desdemona, Ju
liet? Still it must be remembered tina
the boys who first acted such character
were probably trained. inspired, in
structed by the master himself, and b
may we'll have done wonders. 1t was
hard condition, and twin born wit
Shakespeare's dramatic greatness, tina
he should see his women played by lads
Could he ever have been wholly salts
fed with the result2 - Gentleman
| Magazine.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
Carlrls and Scott.

"To read of Scott, says Temple Bar,
'makes most others, even of the noblest
and best, appear small by comparison. F"
The writer illustrates his meaning by
pointing to the contrast between Carlyle
and Scott in the matter of sleep. Moth
ing, he says, short Of "treacle sleep. "
in which he could lie "sound as a
stone' for hours, could satisfy Carlyle.
His maps were serious things, and if
any inroad from without or within were
made upon them, anathemas and "waes
mes" would be sure to follow. while
constant nights Of waking and aching
would be met by Scott with scarce a
grumble or by a playful one.
A dog, whose yelping had disturbed
his slumbers, moved Carlyle to the jo-
cosely savage wish that he had the ami
NAL by its hind legs within reach OF q
stone wall
"Bilious and headache this morn
ing, notes Scott, under the influence
of like infiiction occurring in the very
midst of his sea of troubles. "A dog
howled all night and left me little
sleep. Poor curp' with an outgoing Of
sympathy toward the unconscious trou.
bier of his repose. II dare say he had
his distresses, as / have mine. /"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
THE CORN.

A song of the corn. the sturdy corn, which
brightens this land OF oursi
It's tender green, In the early spring, Is fAirer
than blossoming howers
Its amber silk. with its glossy sheen, is iit for
fairy's loom,
And dearer its dimpled, golden cars than the
rose or lily bloom,
For they bear the promise CT happy hours to
the man who tolls for bread,
When he need not fear that his little ones must
20 70 their sleep unfcd.
There are lovely flowers In this land Of ours,
wherever the foot may fall,
The tongue and the ear alike would tire should
try to tell them all,
From the arbutus ON Atlantic shores to the
golden poppy s CLEANS.
As bright as the metal which lies at It's roofs
by Californian streams,
But never a flower such gifts has gained from
the sun and dews of morn.
Or stands moro fair in tho summer air than
the blessed, golden cornl
--Ninette NJ. Lowater.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
Not to Be Done.

It was in Brixton tram car. He took
out piece of paper ON which there
were many figures and said;
"I'ye been trying to invent puzzle
to put on the market, but can only get
SO far with it.
"What is it?'' asked the ether.
"This represents tram car. There
are 12 men ON one side and s women on
the other. y
81 see. You want to get 70 ON side. "
"No, don't. Another woman gets
in the car. making Q women to 10 men. "
Exactly
'She must have seat. She looks Ut
the 10 men, and
"And one Of them gets up and offers
her a seat, OF course. +"
Eyes, of course. Now what want is
TO place her among the women.
"My dear sir. said the other. as be
turned away, "you had better tackle the
problem of perpetual motion. 1t can't
be done. If there were but women il
couldn't be done. Either make your
women get off and take cabs, or let one
of the men go on the top and catch
cold. London Fun.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

An anecdote, illustrating the urbanity
of DR.. Max Nordau's character, as well
as his keen sense Of humor, is told in
connection with a story of |. Zangwill.
DR.. Nordau had never met Zangwill,
but was great admirer of The Chill.
dren of the Ghetto" and its authors lit.
erary causeries One day friend, know.
ing this, came to him and said:
"Mr. Zangwill has teen writing about
You in The Pail Mall =
Indeed, said DR.. Nordau, with an
air Of great intere2t.
He gives a perfect appreciation Of
you, the friend continued.
"Do tell me what he said, " said the
author, relaxing into an attitude Of
pleasurable anticipation.
He says you're an idiot.
The funny part Of the story is that
during recent visit to England DIR.
Nordau met Mr.. Zangwill and told him
the incident.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

The term Theory.

What the world owes to Louis Pasteur
the worlds great vocabulary is incom-
petent to express. Through his re-
searches, and those of the students who
have come after him, the light has been
turned upon what has hitherto been to-
tai darkness Doubt, experiments and
uncertainty have given way to precision
and accuracy In diagnosis. AS the farm
err knows that the chinch bug Is the
cause Of his withered crops. so the ply
sician knows that the bacillus OF certain
diseases brings about certain symptoms.
The microscope is the physicians reli-
ance. A few drops of blood. a bit OF
tissue, little perspiration brought un-
der the eye of this magic assistant will
tell him at once the cause and progress
Of the disease. And it is not alone the
physician who benefits by this knowl-
edge. The farmer, the vineyardist, the
dairyman, the stock raiser, the cultiva-
tor of the silkworm and the enthusiast
on bees are alike indebted to the dis
coverer of the germ origin Of disease
for inevitable aids in their business. A
necessity of the near future is an i'm
provement in microscopes and their
cheapening, SO that knowledge Of germs
may become more widespread. Every
township should have its bacteriologisi
and its microscopic equipment. There
is no study more interesting, and none
that is so important to humanity. -
New York Ledger.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
A panpsr VINO ounsa Johanns.burr.

Few people are aware of the fact that
the site of johannesburg and a large
tract of the surrounding land were once
bought for e350. But such was the case,
and the purchaser now lies confirmed
invalid in the workhouse infirmary al
Guildford. The old man seems to have
had most remarkable career, having
been in the service of the old East India
company, fought in the Crimea, being
seriously wounded at the siege Of Sevas.
topol, and afterward passed through the
Indian mutiny. He then went to South
Africa, where he fought against the
Zulus and the Beers. Before the Trans.
vaal was made over to the Beers he pur.
chased for $3.50 some $4,000 acres Of
land near the source of the Crocodile,
better known as the Limpopo, where he
made up his mind ultimately to settle.
But war broke out, and he took up arms
against the Beers and formed one of the
party which held Pretoria. In 1880,
when the republic was declared, he re-
fused to accept service under President
Kruger, the result being that his land,
now estimated to be worth many mil.
lions sterling, was forfeited. West
minister Gazette.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
killing the Fox.

We had hunted up and down the rides
for the greater part of day, and finally,
with the scent at its hottest, we seemed
to have lost the fox in the neighborhood
of little cottage, with a pigsty tackled
ON to ii. The hounds were giving tongue
around the pigsty, while its occupants
protested with no less noise. The hub
bubwa tremendous, and the tumult in
creased tenfold when the second whip
climbed the sty palings and began to
search the tenement for the missing fox.
There was no sign of him. Still the
hounds kept giving tongue around the
dwelling as if the fox were there. The
whip, after drawing the pigsty blank,
knocked at the cottage door and, receiv-
ing no answer, entered. The sole inmate
was a bedridden old woman, who pro-
tested with yehemence equal to the pigs
against this invasion of her privacy.
adding that no fox could possibly have
come in, for the door had not been OPEN
ed since her grandson had gone out to
work in the morning.
The man in pink was about to retire
with apologies when a bold hound burst
in through the door. with a terrible
burst of melody. He stopped to ask nc
questions of the poor old lady, but went
under the bed like tiger. More hounds
dashed in; there was scuffie and Q
worry under the bed. shrieks from the
poor old woman that lay on it, furious
death notes of the hounds-and in Q
second or two all was over. 1t took .
deal of silver and consolation to make
the lady realize that the hounds had no
killed her as well as the fox. She still
protested solemnly that the fox coult
not have entered the cottage because thu
door had been shut all the time, but i
was obvious enough. from the sootines
of the old fellows coat, that his way IL
had been, not through the door, bu
down the chimney Macmillan s Maya
zine.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
PEARLS FOUND IN SCOTIA.
One From Aberdeenshire Said to Form
One of the Queens Jewels.

One From Aberdeenshire Said to Form
One Of the Queens Jewels.
One is SO much accustomed to associ-
ate pearls with the eastern and gold
with the southwestern countries OF the
world that the discovery Of pearls in
Scotland and gold in Wales seems some
what opposed to the order OF things.
That gold exists in Wales is Of course
quite recent discovery, and the small
and Improbable quantities found have
now resulted in the abandonment Of the
mining operations commenced by Rich
ard Morgan.
But the pearls Of Scotland have quite
a different history. For centuries pearls
have been found in the river Ythan, in
Aberdeenshire, and only last year an
Aberdeen man made some notable hauls,
which he disposed OF to jewelers. OF the
northern towns. 1t was recently stated
in London paper that pearl taken
| from the river Ythan is believed to
form one of the queens crown jewels.
1t is to be hoped that the belief is we'll
founded, for in that case it may be
reasonably claimed that the precious
stone in question is the only one con-
| tributed by the British islands. a
thought calculated to crafty our ma
tional pride, for Scotland might be
worse represented than by pearl in
the national regalia.
A story is told of an Aberdeenshire
farmer who found q very large and
perfect pearl in the shell Of mussel
taken from the Ythan. Happening to
visit London some time afterward, he
displayed his trdNsure to a west end
ieweler, who, struck with the size and
beauty Of the gem, asked the price. The
farmer demanded what possibly he re-
garded as big price-viz, el0O. Now,
this was in the days when Scotland had
her own coinage, and pound (Scotsl
was equivalent to is. 3d., SO that the
4 e100 be asked would only have repre-
sented G8 6s. 3d. English money.
His surprise and delight may be i'm
agined, therefore, when he received
for his pearl 9100. 1t is doubtful,
however, whether the English jewelel
would have shared these feelings had he
known the exact meaning Of the "hun,
ner pun" demanded by the owner Of
the pearl However, he had no occasion
to complain, for he is said to have sold
the gem subsequently at large profit
Scottish American.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
no birds Understand Music !?

This question has recently been dis
cussed among naturalists, and DR.. G.
NJ. Gould, Of North Carolina, asserts
not only that katydids keep time, but
that they produce kind Of music
which may be described as orchestral.
Both DIR. Gould and another observer
have listened to two orchestras Of katy
dds answering one another all night
long. Sometimes individual perform
ers were noticed to drop out Of time,
but upon the whole the stridulation of
these insect bands is harmonious and
in regular key. Observers do not
agree on the point whether Of not there
is difference Of pitch Bstween the
notes Of two orchestras
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
All the Vowel In One word.

There are but six words in the Eng
lish language which contain all the VOW
els in regular order-viz, abstemious,
arsenious. anenious, facetious. materious
and tragedious. There is but one word
which contains them in regular reverse
order and that word is duoliteral.
Besides the above there are lao Eng
lish words which contain all the vowels
In irregular order. Twelve Of these be-
gin with the letter /; with b. % with
c, 16 with d, IA with Q, withf. 7 with
g. with b, 6 with j, with j, 2 with
m, 2 with n, with o, 1S with p. ]
with q, with r, with 8. 2 with {, IL
with u and with v.-St. Louis Re.
public,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
TaII building.

A year or two ago lecturer describ-
ing the royal palace at Madrid, which
is 40 feet square and 100 feet high,
jokingly remarked that modern New
York architect would probably have
made 1t 100 feet square and 470 feet
high. This was not such very great
exaggeration, for the new building just
completed at the corner Of Pine street
and Broadway Is nearly four times as
high as 1t is broad. From the sidewalk
to the coping 1t rises 314 feet, but 1t is
only about s5 feet square on the
ground. It's steel skeleton Is clothed
with thick brick walls. From the roof
one looks down to see the cross on
Trinity steeple.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
BEWARE OF OINTMENTs FOR Ca
TARRH THAT CONTAIN MERCURY.

As mercury will surely destroy the sense OF
smell and completely derange the whole system
when entering II through the mucous surfaces.
Such articles should never be used except on
prescriptions from reputable phyAicians, as the
can possibly derive from them. Halls Catsrrh
Cure manufactured by Y. j. Cheney q Co., To
icdo, o., contains nc mercury, and H. taken In
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces OF the system. In buying Halls
Catarrh Cure be sure yon get the genuine. IL Il
taken Internally, and made in Toledo, OHIO, BY
r. j. Cheney 4 Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by druggists, price 7bc per bottle.
Hails Family Pills are the beat.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

Congressman Bailey Of Texas thus re-
plies 20 recent criticisms Of his dress:
II have always held that society had no
right, by its dictum, to regulate the
style Of mans clothes Ever since
could afford 1t, have dressed just as
do today. have worn the same black
broadcloth suit, cut in the same style;
the same style Of broad shirt front and
white tie; the same kind Of collar and
broad black felt hat. wear these
clothes regardless Of the day OF the
week or the hour or OF society's dicta-
ton because ! believe they become me.
and they please my wife. There ia o
rule Of society which prescribes that a
dress suit shall not be worn until after
Q O'Clock in the evening. II ] chose to
wear dress suit, would feel free to
put II ON in the morning or evening. or
at noon, just as the fancy dictated. It
seems to me that the society rule which
attempts to regulate mans dress Is
autooratic. The rule prescribing dress
originated In the old customs Of the
court nobility. We are simply initiating
| these old aristocrats when we bar a per-
son out Of society because he does not
dress In the fashion. II men showed
more independence in the matter OF
dress, they would soon be able to break
over the society restraints. and after
that anybody could wear whatever he
chose to. 20 long az he conformed to the
law Of the land and were something.
So fur as am concerned. ! shall CON
tinue to wear whatever suits me and al
the same time meets the approval oi
/ my wife. y
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
FROM GOAT TO BOAT,

Even the festive goat In his vernal sea-
SON has his field sport on the common with
a tin can or the butt of log. From the
sport OF the goat in the spring to the varied
sports Of the early and late summer,
what world of amusement and what o
scene OF muscular activity. In all these,
ever so helpful, from the bat in the bali
field to the oar Of the boat and the chatter
OF the turf. there comes in large amount
of penalty In the shape Of serious sprains
and troublesome bruises, but no man II Q
good athlete, nor does he develop well
from such exercises without his fun share
OF both. 1t is good thing, therefore, that
there is provided something which,if al
ways kept ready, is always ready to cure
promptly these sudden and painful mis-
haps. st. Jacobs Oil, without question,
passes among all sportsmen as the thing tc
have, par excellence, in all kinds of sports
1t has gained its best reputation from its
best cures of this nature, and the man who
would enjoy freely the summer sports
would be almost foolish not to keep bot
tie about him.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

The fond Washington mother has
found new simile for her developing
youngster. She no longer likens him to
weed or u mushroom, but declares,
with pardonable pride, that he 10
growing like a gas bill. Washing
ton Star.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
BETTER THAN REFINED GOLD

Is bodily comfort This unspeakabIe boon Il
denied to many unfortunates for whose all
ments Hostetter's stomach Bitters is q prompt
ly helpful remedy. The dyspeptic, the rheu-
matte, the nervous, persons troubled with bilt
ousness or chills and fever, should lose no time
in availing themselves of this comprehensive
and genial medicine. 1t promotes appetite and
nightly slumber.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

Mr.. Hankerson--John. did yon ice
two dozen bottles Of champagne, as ]
told you?
The Bulter-No, sorr. The icebos
wasn't big enough for more than 20.
Hankerson--What have yon done will
the rest?
The Butler--I set the cook and rnaids
a-fannin 'em, sorr. illustrated Bits.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

Minnie--I never noticed before that
this mirror had wrinkle in it.
Mamie--I thought you were able to
see wrinkles in any mirror you looked
into. indianapolis Journal.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

1t Is my opinion that mans soul
may be buried and perish under dung
heap or in furrow Of the field just as
well as under a pile Of money. --Haw-
thorne.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

FTTe.-An Fits stopped free by Dr. Kiine's
Great Nerve RestOrer. No Fits aftss The iira
lAyA use. Marvellous cures. TrUatias and $40
.sinl hottie free 20 Fit casea. Send 10 DR.. Kline
~ Arch ST. philadelphia. Pa
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

AGENTS WANTED. B.st cement on
earth; new discovery; everybody wants it.
Mends china, glass; takes place Uf muciiage
in home and office; sample LOG. Address
Interstate Mfg. Co., box 1873. The Dalle-. Or.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15
MAKES PEOPLE WELL
Most Remarkable Rem
edy in the World.
Far Superior to Ordinary Sarsapa-
rlllas, Nsrvlnss or Bittsrs.
The True Medicine for Lost
Nervous Strength.
Without On Equal In Purifying and
| Enrlohing tho Blood.
|
Great Cures Effected by Paine's
Celery Compound.
| -~-------
What Scientific Research
Has Accomplished.
| ~-----------
Great Cures Effected by Paine's
Celery Compound.
What Scientific Research
Has Accomplished.
Proved by Success Where All
Else Has Failed.

There is one true specific for diseases
arising from . debilitated nervous sys-
tenn. and that 10 the Paine's celery come
pound 80 generally prescribed by physi-
clans. IL 10 the most remarkable rem.
edy that the scientific research OF this
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

Piso's Cure for Consumption Is the only
Albright, Miiiiinburg, Pa, Dec. IL, '95.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

The manufactures Of Brooklyn are
annually valued at e22s, 900, 900.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

troubles. For the latter Paine's celery
compound has succeeded again and
again where everything else has failed.
Sufferers from neuralgia. neuralgia
headaches and rheumatism should stop
short their morphine, quinine and such
pain-killing drugs. No cure can be
hoped for from these temporizers. There
10 ONE way Of getting rid forever OF the
causes OF all this suffering; that 10 BY
taking Paine's celery compound. In
this great modern remedy the real
means TO health is attended TO; sleep 10
made sound and refreshing, the appetite
improves and the nerves stop complain
ing, because they get the nutriment that
nature requires. This Is the funda.
mental, rational way that Paine's celery
compound takes TO be able TO cope sue
cessiully with diseases Of the liver. kid
neys and stomach. and 10 guarantee .
complete return oil eound sleep, good d.
gestion and quiet, we'll regulated nerA-
Oua system,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

country has produced.
Professor Edward II.
Phelps, M. D., LII.
D., Of Dartmouth COLI
lege, first prescribed
what 10 now known
the world over 40
Paine's celery CONF
pound, . positive cure
Tor dyspepsia, bilious.
ness. liver complaint,
neuralgia. rheu m =
tism, and kidney
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

.Mr. Bafger, when is q woman in the prime
.'And a man?' t'Oh, anywhere from II to S0'
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1896-05-15

Phil A, Del--Ana was your frieuds death an.
expected, Arizona pete--No indeed he had
been horsethief ior years