davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23
RAMS HORNS.

The thing that damns a sinner Is his
love for sin.
The only thing about some churches
that seems to point toward heaven is
the steeple.
The world needs people who will do
right without first stopping to find out
what others are going to do.
The man who lives only for himself
10 helping to carry on ,le DEVILS bust
ness.
Knowing the name of sin some
times opens door for 1t.
Boil down the religion OF some peo-
pie and you will find that there is moth
ing worth having in 1t.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

NJ othera w. no have used Parkors Ginger Tontt
for years inss tha, 1t ben smor. than other med
every form Of distress and weakness ieid "
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

Ninde rc0rms IL a slmple reM~dy.
.nt II tax out the eorns, ami hAot conspA ION u
.! Makes walking \ pleasure. lie, A. druggists.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

Society is continually surging with the
conflict Of dollars aud sense.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

Romance hos teen elegantly defined -
the offspring Of fiction and love,
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

Fishermen will dream OF fish lying nIoue
them, but In reality its the other way
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

II the BABY 10 Cutting Teeth.
- sure and use that old and we.iuisd remedy, ~
WMsLow's soornixo s,nrr for Children Testhiag-
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

The average passenger train Weighs Two
hundred tons.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

The Lord likes man who says what he
thinks, but the people don't.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-01-23

Dreams of wealth don't come true a.
often as work for it does.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Taken in Time.

Hoods Sarsaparilla has achieved
great success in warding off sickness
which, if allowed to progress, would
have undermined the whole system
and given disease a strong foothold
to cause much suffering and even
threaten death. Hoods Sarsaparilla
has done all this and even more. 1t
has been taken in thousands of cases
which were thought to be incurable,
and after fair trial has effected
wonderful cures, bringing health,
strength and joy to the afflicted.
Anotherimportant point about Hoods
Sarsaparilla is that its cures are per
manent, because they start from the
solid foundation of purified, vitalized
and enriched blood. But it is not
what we say but what Hoods Sarsa-
parilla does that tells the story.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Tho President Hold Her Hand.

A lady who is now visiting friends In
Washington recalls very amusing ex-
perience which happened when she
was here several years ago and Mr..
Cleveland was serving his first term in
the White House. She. with large
number of others, was at one of the tri-
weekly Presidential receptions, and,
like some others, when she came to
shake hands with the President got a
trife ratified and forgot the pretty
speech she intended to deliver. Instead
she grasped the Presidents hand, and,
looking earnestly in his face, said:
''How do you do, GroverH' She is a
pretty woman, and the President is not
averse to looking at pretty woman,
and even squeezing her hand. He held
on to her hand and looked in her face,
which finally became scarlet. although
she could not refrain from laughing, es :
pecially as the President was laughing
rather heartily himself. After waiting
few seconds, which seemed an hour
to the lady, he replied: II am very we'll
indeed, and very happy to have met
you. With courtly bow he released
her hand and she passed on. What
on earth was the President saying to
you, and what did you say to himg" in
quired lady who was just behind, but
she never told-not for long time.--
Washin gton Star.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12

The New York W0rLa, thrice-a-
week edition, Is pages a week, 156
papers year. Is larger than any
weekly or semi-weekly paper published
and is the only important Democratic
''weekly" published in New York City.
Three times as large as the leading
Republican weekly of New York City.
1t will be of especial advantage to
you during the Presidential campaign,
as it is published every other day,
except Sunday, and has all the fresh
ness and timeliness of daily. 1t
combines all the news with long
list of interesting departments, unique
features, cartoons and graphic illustra-
tions, the latter being specially.
All these improvements have been
made without any increase in the
cost, which remains at one dollar per
year.
We offer this unequaled newspaper
and the COLUMBIAN and Farm Ae70S
together one year for $I.75
The regular subscription price OF
the three papers is $a.5o.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Must Use The Knife
Said the Surgeon, but Dr.. David Kennedy S
Favorite Remedy was taken and the
Knife Avoided.

The Union and Advertiser of Rochester,
N. Y, recently published the following in
teresting account of how William w. Adams
of I27 South avenue, that city was saved
from painful operation by the use of DIR.
David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy.
Mr.. Adams said "Threc years ago I
was taken with kidney disease very badly
at times l was completely prostrated in
fact, was so bad that the day was set for the
doctors to perform an operation upon me.
But decided | would not submit. had
been put in hot water baths and, in fact,
nearly every means was tried to help me.
Upon the day set for the operation | COM
menced the use of DR.. David Kennedy's
Favorte Remedy, and from that moment
began to gain, and it was not long before |
was entirely cured and have had no return
of the trouble since. My weight has in.
creased and never was so well as | am
now. have recommended
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Pat Lowered His Voice,

Father O'Halloran had telephone
put into the parsonage in connection
with the church and the parochial
school. Patrick McFee, his reverence's
handy man, was instructed in the use
of the instrument, and it was only the
next day when Pat, dusting out the
church, heard the ringing of the tele-
phone bell. Taking down the receiver,
Pat was pleased to hear Father OHal-
loran's familiar voice asking him some
thing or other about his work. In es-
saying to answer he remembered that
his reverence was a long way off, and
therefore he shouted into the trans
mitter at the top of his voice.
II don't understand you, Patrick" !"
said the telephone.
Patrick tried again with no better
success. On his third trial he came
near splitting the telephone, but again
came Father O'Halloran's voice, II
can't hear what you're saying, Pat
rick"
Pat had by this time lost something
OF his patience, and, as he stood gather
ing his breath for a fourth blast, he
couldn't help solilcquizing, in low
tone; 'Ah, may the divil fly away wild
the ould foolr' But Pat dropped the
telephone like hot potato and fell to
his knees in, dismay when he heard
Father O'Halloran's voice once again
Now Ihear you perfectly, PatrickY'
Boston Transcript.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
DR.. DAVID KENNEDVS
FAvORITE REMEDY

to many people, for it saved my life"
In speaking to Mrs. Adams, she said .
"About year ago l was in very feeble
state of health, being completely run down.
had doctored considerably, but without
permanent relief. One day one of my
neighbors advised me to take DIR. David
KennedY's Favorte Remedy which I did
My trouble was dyspepsia, and for a long
while was unable to be about at all but
after taking a few doses was completely
cured, and now enjoy good health"
Hundreds of men and women with that
"run down" +" condition, unable to work,
have recovered health and strength through
this remarkable remedy, 1t purihes the
blood, stirs theliver and kidneys to healthy
action. In cases of rheumatism, kidney,
liver and urinary troubles, it is well-known
specific. I'm.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
A Great Newspaper Year.

Not since our war, if ever at all
has there been a year when the news
paper was SO necessary as it must be
in 1896. There's a pile of history tc
be made in the next twelve months,
and nobody knows when or where to
look for the record-making events.
They're coming; that's all we know,
and to say that your paper is as nee
essary as your breakfast is to put the
situation very mildly. 1t is indispens,
able.-Hartford C0uraHk
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Gems from jefferson.

Taste cannot be controlled by law
Stable ownership is the gift OF
social law and is given late in the
progress of society.
Laws and institutions must go hand
in hand with the progress of the
human mind.
The press is the best instrument
for enlightening the mind of man and
improving him as rational, mora
and social being.
This formidable censor of the
public functionaries, by arraigning
them at the tribunal of public opinion,
produces reform peaceably, which
must otherwise be done by revolu-
ton.
Nothing is SO important as that
America shall separate herself from
the systems of Europe and establish
one of her own. Our circumstances,
our pursuits, our interests, are dis
tinct. The principles of our policy
should be also.
If we are faithful to our country, il
we acquiesce with good will in the
decisions of the majority and the
nation moves en- mass in the same di,
rection, although it may not be that
which every individual thinks best,
we have nothing to fear from any
quarter. ZHOmaS ./e6erSOn.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
KATE FIELD TALKS ON SUFFRAGE.



They Are Ready Tot IL.
Kate Field does not believe that
many women desire to vote, although
she believes in their inherent right to
the ballot. She says, in recent inter
view on the subject:
"Women are not sufficiently enlight-
ened on the subject to want suffrage,
and am not so sure that 1t is wise to
give anybody anything unless they
show desire sor it. They would be
just like deadheads, who always growl
They never appreciate what they get,
while those who pay their way sit out
the show, and generally like it. l be-
lieve in the justice of woman's suffrage.
/ believe they have as much right to it
as men. don't find that women in
Wyoming and Colorado are bit diff
ferent from women in the States where
they have no suffrage.
women want some mental dissipa-
ton. They want to get away from the
humdrum existence they lead. Men
have their clubs and political meetings
and such things to give spice to their
lives, but do not appreciate the narrow
ness of the circle in which women
move. When women have such Sc
rious things as politics to interest them
they will drop great deal that is tri-
fling. If anything in the world could
reduce the number of hours women de-
vote to shopping, what blessing il
would bel There are no gadders on
earth like American women. If they
gadded to some purpose-if they tool
up fine cooking or esthetic dressing, fol
instance-it would be different"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Two Views of Life.

1--WE must accept the theory of eter-
nal life" says the pessimist, because
we can explain the present existence
upon no other theory than that it is a
punishment for sins committed in a
previous state"
And l." says the optimist, accept
the theory of eternal life because it
seems to me reasonable to expect a
chance in future state to correct the
blunders l committed in this one."-
Chicago Times Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Missed the smoky Flavor.

Waiter-I can't satisfy that guest
nohow. He says the steak don't taste
right yet.
"Cook-Where's he from2
From the West"
'And this is Western beef"
II told him so, but he said it didn't
taste right, somehow"
"Ohl l see. He's used to steak
cooked on soft coal fire. Hold it over
that lamp chimney a while. New
York Weekly.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
About Even.

Bessie, you have been eating molas-
ses candy and playing with the torn
sofa pillow. Your face is all covered
with feathers. Ha! ha! ha! ha! hal
haW-
(Righteously indignanD - Mamma,
your faced look better If you'd put II
together again.-Chicago Tribune.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12

The action of the heart, lungs and
digestive system is involuntary, for the
reason that it is indispensable to life,
and must be carried on under all cir
cumstances. If man had to think of
his heart or had to remember that he
must breathe, or that his food must di-
gest, he would have no time to do any
thing else.-Chicago Inter Ocean,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
A Brilliant Listener.

Rencontour-Did it ever occur to you
what a charming conversationalist
Dummer is?
Tutherwun--Well, I don't know; not
articularly. Why?
Rencontour-Oh, he is. decidedly; ex-
ceedingly good company. He hasn't
the ghost of memory, you know, and
you can tell your stories to him over
and over again. and he enjoys them
every time as much as at the first tell
ing.-Boston Transcript
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Not Phased "a Bit.

DR.. sage-You are troubled with
headaches, and you do not sleep well.
Evidently what you need is exercise
What is your occupation?
Patient-Im a woodsawyer.
DR.. Sage-Well-er, suppose you do
not grease your saw for a week or two
Boston Transcript.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
The shopping Mysterv.

Mrs Bargain-Why don't you charge
dollar for these goods, instead of
ninety nine cents?
salesman-Why, ma'am, you're al
ways sure to think of something else
you want. while waiting for your
change Truth.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
ALlXeIy Trade.

lawyer ito female witness) - Wha'
ocrunatlon did your husband folloWE
SVtness--He was a skipper
!.awyer-Of schooner
Witaess-No: of a baa1. He skippee
tu Canada.-Texas Sifdngs. -
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
Nnt n EaYorlte.

-. Nocash--Yo our daughter Is OF ma
tu.. axe. Why do you wish our mar
l!usv postponed three years?
old Gentleman--One or the other OF
ym, may die before that time.-New
Iolk W eelily.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12
DIR. M SALM,
Wonderfully Successful all Chronic and
EYE, EAR, THROAT, LUNGS AND NASAL CATARRH
Eye Operations Successfully Performed
HE CUREs AFrER orHERs FAIL.


The Most Successful
The widely
n in the
CHRONIC
and entities the
IMPORTANT TO LADIES sm after experience
method The
ito Free and StictyC Conhden
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12

Home, OF N Y; Merchants of Ne~.n.
N. :; Clinton, N. Y.;Peoples', NY; Read.
ing, ia German American Ins. Co., New
YORK; Greenwich Insurance Co., New Io,k,
Jersey CITY Fire lns. Co., Jersey City, N. /.
lhese ola corporations are well Seasoned
by age and fire tested, and have ney. -,
had loss settled by any court of law, r,.i,
assets are all invested in solid securities snd
liable to the hazard of fire only.
Losses promptly and honestly adjusted and
PAID as soon as determined, by Christian p.
Knapp, Special Agent and Adjuster, Bloour.
burg, Pa.
ihe people of Columbia county sh.s.d
patronlze the agency where losses, if any.
citizens.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-03-12

and
sy
d n
in
u
Chronic granuel troubles catar POSITIVELY
strain. which
ling all
completely and permanently cured full ills
debility and who i'm.
rapidly
weakness manhood body
o maria
functional
disorders that result from youthful folis or assisted
the matur We
by
kwil
o 7a Columbus o. ~
giving poisonous and
Wonderful Cures d old which hays S been % neglected
I'm, P
prvat
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-06-03
Cheese and Courtship.

Aristocracies in different places and
ages have prided. themselves on many
different things. One of th%equeerest,
perhaps, is the a~ristocracE according
to cheese, which, according to the
Meue Zuyicher Zeitung, prevails among
the patricians Of Zermatt. The arts.
tocracy Of families is valued By the
number and ages Of the cheeses they
possess. There are families who pos
sess cheeses made at the time Of the
French revolution. When achildis
born, a cheese is manufactured, which.
is then called by the name Of the
child. 1t is partly eaten when its
uamesake gets married, eachWedding
guest tasting a portion. The cheese
is then put away again, and finally
cut into and finished at the funeral Of
the person whose> name it BEARS:
When a young man woos a maiden, he
begs to be allowed to dine with her
family on a Sunday. His offer being
accepted, the lovers wait a~nxiously 20.
see whether the girls father viii cause
the cheese to be set on the table. AT
the end of the long meal, if all goes
we'll, the master Of the housesolemnly
fetches the cheese bearing the would
be brides name and sets it on the
table. When they have eaten it, they
are a betrothed palr. The others at
the table partake Of the oheeseandI
drink to the eternal friendship Of the
two families. -London Daily; Nssps.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-06-03
Boys and Firearms.

An accident which shows the danger
Of not teaching boys how. to use firearms
is reported in The American Field. Sew"
enteen-year-old James Groat Of Omaha,
with three comrades, was hunting ducks,
on the river. Not finding the birds
plentiful, boy fashion, they thought
they would play about in the willow
blind. They laid their guns down and
began to skylark. All Of a sudden a
flock of ducks was seen coming, and
there was a rush to get the guns.
If young Groat had been brought up
right, he would not have left his gun
cooked and loaded, he would not have
grasped it by the mrzz.o and pulled it
toward himself, the trigger would not
have caught in a twig, and the lad
would not have been killed. The top of
his head was blown to pieces by the
whole charge Of shot entering just
above the nose.
When o boy wants a gun and is in a
place about which game is to be found.
and there are hunters to hunt it, the
boy is going to have it by hook or crook.
So the best way to do when a lad shows
the symptoms is to put him into the
hands of a good hunter and have him
taught what to dc, and what not to do,
especially what not to do, and if a good
gun, built by q trustworthy manufac-
turer, is given to the would be hunter,
there is no danger whatever. If this was
done in every instance with boys, there
would be no accidental killings. 1t is
the self confident, self taught man who
kills others and himself.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-06-03
ODD WAYS OF MAKING MONEY.
Rabbit Bones as scarfpins and Miniatrr
Real Live Oaks.

Real Live Oaks.
In the backbone Of a rabbit is a joint
bearing a remarkable resemblance to a
fox's head. Lightly painted brown, a
couple Of beads for eyes, a cheap pin
affixed, and lol a real sporting scarfpin
is produced at q nominal cost.
At the time Of calling in the French
coins, which were freely passing in
England for pennies, many dollars were
made by ingenious individuals convert
ing them into rings as souvenirs, this
being done by cutting out the center,
turning the rim inside cut, leaving the
inscription inside. Many Of these rings
are still to be seen among the poorer
folk, worn as wedding rings.
Acorn gathering may he the means Of
putting q few shillings in the pockets OF
the country folk by picking them up for
the farmers, but it did not seem the
quickest way to a fortune by one
thoughtful son Of toll.
So he planted a piece Of his ground
with thousands Of acorns, and when
they were small plants he carefully re.
moved daily such as he wanted, with
the mold round, and moss wrapped
each root and started his father to hawk
them in the nearest towns, and a re-
markably good idea 1t turned out.
The request Of the old man to 'sbuy a
real British oak, rlum,' generally Sc
cured q purchaser, the ladies being
charmed with the plant and the prospect
Of watching it's growth into a sturdy
tree.-Odds and Ends.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-06-03
M.oonshine Whisky.

Says a revenue agent: "There is q
great popular misunderstanding about
moonshine whisky. It is nothing but
raw highwine-the crudest kind Of
whisky-and most of it is made right
in the big cities. You take a barrel Of
molasses, some yeast and a still, such
as many people use for distilling water,
or even less than that, you car let the
vapor pass through a glass pipe covered
with cold water, and you can make all
the moonshine YOU. want. The foreign
ers in New York city make thousands
Of gallons Of it for private use in this
way. ALI whisky is white as water
when first made. If kept in glass it re-
mains white for years, as you see in the
case Of Irish and Scotch whisky. Put
into wood it will in time darken, owing
to the rotting of the oils. Moonshine is
usually white because not kept long
enough to darker, OF, if kept, being
usually stored in bottles or jugs
New York Tribune.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-06-03
Richly Entitled to it.

"John, Think should like to visit
my old home in the East a month or
two this summer"
II don't know, Maria, I'm afraid
can't spare the time from my bust
ness"
'I'm not asking you to go, John. ]
can make the trip myself without any
trouble"
"You would get homesick, if you
we're to stay away from home as long
as that
81 think not. I should like to try
it, anyhow
"What is the matter with. you,
Maria p irritably. "Hayent | been
a good husband ?"
II am not making any complaint
about you, John, am II"
"Ain'tI affectionate enough Hav-
cnt l always kissed you when | went
away from home in the morning and
when I came back ir the evening
every day for the last 25 years p
eyes, and you've had a chew of
plug tobacco in your mouth every
morning and evening for the last %
years, too. I think [ want a vacation,
.John
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-06-03
to Burn.

The English actors who come over
here are intensely English when they
first arrive, but they oon show their
appreciation Of American colloquialisms
by appropriating them. A gentleman Of
this city relates that some time ago in
the New York club he met Fred Wright,
Jr., the comedian. Some u was tell
ing about a woman who had just mar
ried her third husband.
"By the way" the gentleman asked,
"where is her first husband buried?"
"He was cremated, was the answer.
"And the second?"
"Also crematcd."
"By Jove," observed little Mr..
Wright, "that woman has husbands to
burn. st. Louis Republic.