Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1896-07-02
GIMME fAppeN AND TIE AMY.
a viIit TO . siIm Lassies' Meeting which
Resulted In q Conversion.

Washin' ton urch, and wasn't doin q tinl
but doln good, ike I've seen 'em do on de
Bow'ry ever since 1 was kid; but, p'chee
dey is all In q scrap what's worse dan DAT
Dunraven 1imlam.
''Dat's right. Let me tell you. Mr..
Paul and Mr.. Burton is members Of dat
yacht club whit give de grand trun down
G. do lord chap Dunraven. and dey scrap
ped and dey scrapped and dey scrapped
over dat game till Miss Fannie tole 'em
dat II ever dey opened dere mouts any
more about do dinky yacht race she'd
break dere faces. Dat wasn't Just what
Miss Fannie said, cause she talks only
heightened langwuige, but dat's what she
meaned, oil right enough.
tMr Burton, he's kinder stuck on de
English lord chap, see? But Mr.. Paul,
he's straight American, dead straight
American, like me, and he says, What
tell, he says; 'dere can't be but one mug
can win fight or ra1e, and If de mug
what loses don't stand up to de dough dish
widout hollerin murder, den he amt no
good, and oughter get do dinky dink.'
"Well, dat's de way dey jawed till Miss
Fannio put de kibash on dere chinnin, and
de house was as peaceful as willy boy wild
came along, and den dere was more trouble
in de family.
"His whiskers says dat do English mug
what come over from form parts t. put a
cash register on de word of de gospel was
person a non CRATER, what means dat he
was person not in it.
"Dat started de game. Mr.. Burton says
dat de boss mug what lives in England
has q right to run do machine accordin t.
dc rules, and, IL de rules was broke, den
he had dc right to ask what t'ellH
"Den Mr.. Paul he gets hot in de collar,
and he says dat If Mr.. Burton was right
den George Washin' n'ton was wrong, which
is do man what discovered do city of Wash
in ron, where dey makes laws for dc law
yers and snsses forn queens and kings.
Say nearly unscrews me arm openin
small bottles for 'eIn, havin t. do some-
thin T. keep meself In de room, so as not
t. miss any of dc rounds. Dey was all
talkin to onct and putin up terrible fronts
of KNOWN oil about do game, when Miss
Fannie killed dem all dead wild askin in
dat smood voice of hers, Has any of you
gents ever been to Salvation Army meet
inY
"Say, honest doy all looks as silly as a
bull pup In bathtub, and dey just t'rows
der wine In dere faces and coughs and
don't say nothin fer awhile.
"Well, his whiskers says, after he taut
awhile, No, my DEAR he says, I don't
tink we has ever went
"Den Miss Fannie she says, Before yuse
oil settle de affairs of de Salvation Army
spose you chases yourself to one of der
meetin's and take tumble to yourselves
only not dose langwudge-tilly you knows
de game
"Mr. Paul. he held out his glass for me
t. fill, and den he says, solemnlike, desc
was his very words, 1t strikes me dat our
spiritual welfare would be improved as
we'll as our understanding g II we adopts dc
resolution magnanimously.'
$50 de next evenin his whiskers says e
me could l take 'em down t. where dere
was Salvation Army meetin, and says
In minute, for l know'd where some
loidies dey call slum lassies was preachin
"Say, 1t was down near Chatham square,
and when we got off de Car his whiskers
give ono look and tried t. make q sneak,
but Mr.. Paul he held him up e. do dough
dish and makes him stay. For awhile dc
crowd was moro curiouser about our gang
dan about do Salvationers and dey gives
us great jolly. Dere was one old woman
ulster know down dere, Mrs. Murphy,
what was rushin growler, but when she
sees me she stops and says, 'Shure, it's
Chimmie Fadden and his foine frinds. In
trojuce me t. his whiskers, Chimmie dear,
she says, wild a smile you couldn't spoil
wild o club.
"Say, taut his whiskers would trow
flt right dere, but Mr.. Paul says Certain
ly, Chames, he says, present your lady
FRIEND 1 am sure Mr.. Van Courtlandt |
would be pleased to know her, he says,
givin me de wink.
''Well say had t. do 1t, If I got slug.
ged for It, and I give Mrs. Murphy knock |
down In polite style to all de gents; and |
Mr.. Paul he says t. her, solemn as u judge,
says he, Mrs. Murphy, we would be pleas
ed t. get your views on de American split |
from de English Salvationers, he says.
"His whiskers tells Mr.. Paul not t. be |
ass, but Mr.. Paul made bluff at not
hearin him, and was as polite as actor
e. de old woman.
"Well, you oughter seen her. She kinder
hunched herself inside her close like bull
pup what's glad T. see you, and she says:
Tell wild de English savin your presence,
sir, she says t. Mr.. Burton, who she taut
was q Englishman; Tell wild de Eng
lish!'
Can you answer dat logicP says Mr..
Paul to Mr. Burton. 'Shure he can't
says Mrs. Murphy. I'D not have me sowl
saved If ut was depindin on de English
for de savin, she says and Mr.. Paul says,
I'VE Americans stand togedder, Mrs. Muir
ply
II was gettin leary of de game, and
wonderin how could I chase off do old
woman, when Mr.. Paul sees do lay, and
tips her quarter, askin could she use 1t
for her healt.
"'Oi ken, says she, but Oi'll not go to
Kelly's for de beer, for owe him de price
and de tief would take 1t out of dis, once
he seen it. May de Lord love you, and
not call for you too soon, she says, and
makes hurry sneak wild her growler.
"Say, his whiskers was dead sore on
Mr.. Paul for jollyin Mrs Murphy, and
tells him & pay 'tention e dc army lassies
what had tough gang round EN-, but
was keepin EN- quiet as mice wild dere talk
We listened and listened, and his whiskers
kept sayin over de tings what dc lassies
was sayin t. dc gang, and pipin off do nice
way de gang was treatin de lassies, and
how dc gang stopped usin tough Ian
gwudge, and didn't go t. dc beer joints
Pretty soon Mr.. Burton says t. Mr.. Paul.
Il guess dere amt no need Of no form boss
tellin desc girls how t. do dis job.
"'Not on your iife,' says Mr.. Paul;
'well have anodder Boston tea party first,
which was little picnic dey had in Bos-
ton t. celebrate de first challenge for de
America cup Mr.. Paul told me.
"His whiskers kept kinder slidln closer
and closer t. de Salvationers and de rest
of us folleyed, and what do you tink? All
of q suddint de lassies began singin and
Mr.. Paul joined in-he can sing like
peach-and SO did Mr.. Burton, and so did
his whiskerS, and me-say, wsrbled till
you couldn't hear de elevated cars goin by.
De crowd give US jolly at first, but Mr.,