New-York tribune., 1896-06-04
"ABE" GRUBER ON CIVIL spp,,.
HE ATTACKS REFORM RIFLES AM
NATIoNs-GIBEs AT THE POLICE po,sa
AND THE MAYOR

AAAS AhtOh.
The Hon. Abraham Gruber, ESQ. a..
nouncement read appeared before what /. ~ ~
"Anti-Civil Service League OF the na oe The
District last night and talked Tn. ro..aoy assembly
was at No Chambers-st up two s,sh,. e'pA's
and in room which was hotter than ,hs s.a =. s.aa
deathless passion. ABE" was billed "A 81.
the Chinese Civil Service Puzzle" v. s00u'
ceded by a man from Virginia who cam. ~s'
making a Mckinley speech that ABE" vho h..s .ss'
him there. looked sorry and then Aha 49,.
took the floor and walloped things round tor -.
solid hour. AS a speaker ABE" has A vho.I I.1
die Of prime elements for success and hIs ,na" :.
one OF natures choicest productions He ,ooL ~.
matter OF Civil Service reform very ssro,., ~
first, holding that the opposition to It "Is cru.s
against a system inspired and sustained by 49,.
OF American citizens who have no conndencs 4, -.
American people. and to whom monarchIcaI so,r
OF government would be highly gratifying cvr
Service is an absolute menace 10 our insI,u,,n,.
II virtually declares TO public officials that thew 49,
either TOO dishonest. else altogether ncapabls a,
selecting their subordinates."
Mr. Gruber waxed indignant over the examIuaso.
questions for posts under the Raines BILL dec,r,,
that this examination was the crowning nsamy !,
the whole Civil Service business. Then ne M
some OF the questions: What Is a partneuhs,
What IS a corporation? What civil acar,
What is Il criminal action? and here" Abe ~
with infinite gusto. the applicant should Aa
answered this examination What Is fe;on,,
Here again the applicant should have answeua
1T s a felony for poor man 10 try TO get an ons
IN New-York city These were some Of the Qse.
tons" Abe continued. which were prepared By
men who are supposed to be in possession Of tAss
sober senses II they are not confined on hs
island then all I've got 10 say is: Woe betide thef
immediate relatives some night when another
epasm takes hold OF them. This Civil Serytcs b
going 10 bring about an ofice-hoding ars;ocrscy
with pensions attached. Why here's John Broxn
a brickayer who works hard all his life 10 make
living. He has 10 practise frugallty 10 make both
ends meet and works on TIL he Is laid under
the sod. Here's another man who Is TOO lazy 10 hy
brick He gets the police force. He Is out under
the blue sky every day He is fed Ike an aris,oss,
by the servant girls on his beat, and after twenty
years Of rich living at $40 year the people hk
=, him and say. He IS getting old. We mus ra
sion him. and he Is laid off on $50 year. Ara
that's the way it will be with the sristocrscy q
ottice-holders In time 20 come They will say 70 u
people: Why. bless you. were getting old. and ~
Will have 10 pension Us OF. -
high priests Of Civil Service reform" Said he Vi
that smile OF his fully abroad. Nov there ~
Teddy Roosevelt. who was made Police Cor-+
sioner. Teddy hadn't been IN New-York for M
years, but had been the high priest OF Civil S0Ta
at Washington. Then there was ole Parker vsa
was also made Police Commission er, and during
the Campaign Brother Teddy and Brother Andy
went about making political speeches y ne
churches and Brother Andy, ne slapped Brother
Teddy on the back and said, TEDDY, you're TIE hot
siur' and Brother Teddy, he s!spped Brother Anay
on the back and said Al right Anays an M no
hot stun you ara the double hot stun; but az tho
time Brother Andy had been raldng IN the patron.
age and one day Teddy woke up "a the .act uass
he didn't have any more 10 say apoat the po"s
force than the meanest patrolHan. ana ne Wenl g
and, with the assistance 0, Brotne3s U'fnt ~.
Andrews held an Indignation meeting aod yes
was spectacle for gods and men slcn a. las
world has never seen. And then they wanseas
money. ! guess Teddy had been senoing !oI q
policemen 10 investigate the coocaee-coocnee ghn
over in the Tenierloin and they passed resSu1s1
the amount. Controller Fitch has IL framed ass:
You can See II any time you want 70 way, -.
Sinking Fund has no more 10 DO WIZ SsunS IT,. Tsv
than Dick Croker's horses over In England lns
might as well have asked Steve Brooie 70 nsue ~.
dollar Governments. Then there's the Aayos "a..ti t
worked the best We knew now 70 eleoe 80
say let me tell you. We nearly ied MN W S -, 80
Why, in the interim between MS e:ecIoh snu ,s ~
time when he officially gave US ne tI9sea, sss;
there never was such feeding known s,,s Ms az,
OF mine met him one day. Bii. was comils w. ~. "a
his office and the friend asked him wneIs :. soss
going. Oh" said he, I'm just gong doS. " Wa Ia
Boards OF Estimate and Appcraonm.nssuIsSd A.
thought there were two boards cnucMsu cn1as .,.n. ~
Now, where would ne be In CiVi! Sss'''s ''
ination?" =. c...
So the speaker went on taking turn a. ~ -
missioner Waring IN passing. TIE huc'su'
league was successfully ORGANIZED.