davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1896-08-23

men were peculiar. You will, no doubt,
be more confirmed than ever in your
opinion when you learn that am not the
Earl of Gasket at all. l am plain Earl
Gasket, newspaper man, and the little
Englishman with the copper-colored beard
is the real Earl"
He is. eh2" said the captain, evidently
not receiving my statement as true.
"Yes, he is entitled to this stateroom
and l am not. The whole thing happened
through very curious mistake. AS he
made no fuss about it let matters. take
their course. But as we are nearing San
Francisco thought it best to tell you. l
have no desire TO play the part any
loneer."
But no, the captain would not believe
me. He regarded it as joke. the point
OF which had not become apparent to him.
Then l produced my baggage and
showed him letters from tina managing
editor and instructions regarding my
work down the coast. / recalled points
about San Francisco that nobody but a
resident wouid know as a witness that L
was not an English Earl. The captain
said the case was very strange and finally
Sofc Ano " undS&Slduu, III Hdli-ucdIlSo
manner, that he credited my story. He
occasionally glanced shrewdly at me,
however, as if suspecting me of some
stratagem.
Afterward | saw him and the Earl talk
ing, and the Earl was shaking his head
vigorously. l wondered if Captain Won
Rrdder was asking whether or not my
story was true.
The captain was more reserved during
the rest of the trip, and indeed paid no
attention to me. We drew swiftly into
the harbor and approached the pier.
The first persons, as usual, to come on
board were the customs officers in uniform
They were accompanied, however. by
man in citizens dress. with whom soon
afterward became quite well acquainted.
Captain Won Rudder advanced and shook
The San Francisco call., 1896-08-23

the crew in casting off lines, piling up
baggage and hauling up the plank
At the last moment, in the very nick OF
time, before the Triton swung off, little
man came sauntering down the wharf,
carrying small black satchel and clasp
ing black Drier between his teeth. He
looked around for the gangplank. found
1t drawn up and without hesitation began
to Chamber down one Of the piles, keeping
tight grip on the bag and awkwardly
stepping from spike TO spike driven in the
pile. A funky ran UP and told him to
throw down the bag, but the little man
made no reply. The ship had begun to
move. Captain Won Rudder was exasper-
ated.
"Vell, veil, manyana will dol Don't be
in hurryl" he beloved in ponderous
sarcasm.
The newcomer turned to see from
whence came the sudden criticism, lost his
hold and fell upon the rail in heap. The
fiunky grasped him and pulled him to a
place of safety. And now, as l remember
the fellow never lost his grip on the hand
bag and the pipe. AS he stood up and
brushed himself | noticed that his beard
was OF peculiar copper color and English
IN cut.
1.-THE steward was right-sthe Earl OF
Gasket has came, thought /.
He stood for a moment and glanced
quizzcally up to Captain Won Radder, on
the bridge, while the latter uttered few
remarks with point to them like the
point of bludgeon. Then he went aft
l remained on deck and saw the little
town and the long wharf fade in the dis
tance and the dusk. "Adios," said way
ing my hand to Mexico and ali Central
America-"Adi l came to you as a
newspaper man and I leave you as an
Earll'
| had grown reckless. perhaps. But
felt that my time for explaining had
passed. Let the other fellow explain.
Going boldly to the stateroom set apart
for his Grace, l made myself at home as
the captain had requested. The fawning
steward appeared. and asked if his Ma
Jesty would prefer to take dinner pri-
vately. 1t was good suggestion, and l
adopted it. In twinkling the dinner
was before me-a most appetizing meal.
Captain Won Rudder came in, after having
given orders to the helmsman to steer
"nort'vest half nort," and to "hook her
on.'
AS we chatted | heard the purser ap-
preaching. calling for tickets. my time
is short" l thought, but 1 managed to
preserve a calm exterior. / had deter
mined, since my time for explanations
had passed, to run a cold bluff" as l
once heard man of pleasant manners re-
mark.
Earl, this is Mr.. Wilkins. the purser, ;"
said Captain Won Rudder. "Mr. Wilkins,
the Earl OF Gasket"
''How do you do. um-um?" mum bled
the purser. "Quite mix-up somehow,
man out here says he's the only Earl on
board. Says he lost his ticket. List says
Earl of Gasket, first-class, and Earl Gas
ket, second-class. Suppose you engaged
both rooms, um-um? Suppose he's a
blk ?"
mo. Mr.. Wilkins" l replied coolly; II
fancy the list is correct. As remember,
l have heard an Earl Gasket mentioned
The San Francisco call., 1896-08-23


hands with the officers, Mr.. Wilkins did
gers fretted and fumed the officers deliber-
ately looked over all the papers and finally
pronounced them good.
The word to go ashore was given and
the Morenos and Fulanos and their tribal
connections were soon engaged in turbu-
lent stream on the wharf. I prepared to
leave the ship, when / saw the civilian
approach Captain Won Rudder. say few
words. and show him paper. Captain
Won Rudder turned and pointed toward
me, saying, "There's your man."
They advanced to me, and the man said ::
Il have a warrant for the arrest of the
Earl of Gasket."
"Well," said I, "why don't you serve t?"
Here it is, sir" said the man. "Will
you come along with me?''
''But you've got the wrong Gasket," 1
replied. II am not the Earl. The man
you want is little fellow with close
cropped, copper-colored whiskers, always
smoking pipe"
"Vell, vell," broke in Captain Won Rud-
der, 'this is the Earl of Gasket, if you
want him. You fellers are pretty sleek
already" he added, turning to me.
There was no necessity for scene. 1
knew / could clear the matter up quickly
enough by going to the police station and
sending for my chief. | smelled first
rate story, too, and looked over the crowd
to see if the Earl was in sight. As ex-
pected, he was not.
Come on" said.
The man kindly allowed me time enough
to clear my baggage and l brought it with
me to the station. On the way the man
said he was detective and had the auda-
city to ask if did not think it was rather
good job catching me.
'No, think it is the most laundering
piece of work ever saw" I said. "The
Earl OF Gasket has walked away from
under your nose"
The man laughed at what he considered
my chagrin.
At police headquarters they told me
what / was wanted for and treated me
with great respect as the biggest crook
they had captured in many day. rather
enjoyed the distinction for time and sub
sequent inquiry revealed the fact that the
Earl of Gasket had improved that shining
hour.
When my chief came, in response TO my
note, he cleared me in the twinkling of an
eye and had the satisfaction of'overhear-
ing the officer in command ask him to
Keep the story out of the papers. 1t would
give the department black eye. he said.
shook hands with my late captor and
said: Yes, sir, it's the most bIundering
piaca of WORK aver saw ~
don't know what steps the officers took
to find the Earl of Gasket l learned
afterward. however, that the trans-Pacific
steamer City of Singapore had sailed an
hour or so after our arrival, and thought
perhaps the Earl had gone on her. His
name was not on the list, however, and
when she returned l asked the purser II
anybody had taken passage after the list
had closed. He could not say. The stew
ard said there aods a man. small, quiet,
with peculiar copper-colored whlskers,
but, he thought, an American.
That's all / know about it, and that
why l, like Fosdyk & Fosdyk OF Lon
don, want to know several things One OF
the first questions is, "Where is the Earl
OF Gasket?" IRA Il. BENNETT.
The San Francisco call., 1896-08-23

a writer, you know-a newspaper man. if
mistake not These fellows are dev'lish
shrewd, though really why he should at
tempt to pose as the Earl OF Gasket is more
than | can understand"
oh" interrupted Captain Won Rudder,
'you don't know these newspaper feilers.
They are the biggest nuisance you ever
saw. I tell you, Earl, you never know vat
they will do next, especially these San
Francisco fellers, which ] consider the
worst of the United States. One time when
/ just came out of La Paz--''
Here the captain related startling in
stance Of the satanic clairyoyance and pro-
digious staying qualities of reporter,
which entertained me mere than he knew.
I busted myself in finding my ticket,
which presented TO Mr.. Wilkins.
"Hellol Earl Gasket-second class!' +"
he cried.
The San Francisco call., 1896-08-23

The deucel thought /. Why so sud
denly delighted? Very well, said, II
shall abdicate whenever you like"
Very good, very good" replied the
Earl.
30 We parted the best of friends.
AS we neared the Golden Gate, however,
the old clustering winds began to blow,
and my careless dream began to fade in
the light of the realities of the life was
again approaching. "After all, /
thought, "a beat is better than borrowed
glory, and | would rather run scoop than
reign in. a lazy land. The Earl can have
his title back. will get into the whirl of
newspaper work. No more Spanish Amer
lea for me.'
When the opportunity presented itself
| preached the subject to Captain Won
hudder. Captain | said, 'you remem-
Der telling me that the ways of newspaper
The San Francisco call., 1896-08-23

I tions have changed, and the country is no
longer new one to be grown up with.
While cities were springing up like
strong vines in the June sun some more
bold and tactfuI, might have been car
ried up with them; while great railroads
were building, new lands being opened
and rich mines being discovered there
were chances, good and bad, for the young
man venturesome enough to grasp them.
That time is past Our boys must make
up their minds to leave little to chance,
and they soon find out themselves how
little they can depend upon opportunity.
The day laborer must be in with some
one to get an opportunity to exchange ten
hours hard labor for dollar. The very
street gamin must know "de push to gain
permission from some vague potentate to
sell papers on the corner.
The lad who wishes to learn trade goes
not simply and in person to apply Tor an
apprenticeship. He knows well, young
as he is, how quickly the door will shut in
his dirty, eager face.
He uses his little wits to put one and
one together where they will make two.
He thinks of all the men he knows, or his
i4tAC1 hAOWSy anu -uSuICo O0b HAlOA Va
them best know the ''boss" of the shop he
wishes to enter, and then he begins to pull
wires like the embryo rascal he has to be.
Once in house or shop his promotion
depends in small measure upon his
work and in large measure upon who
he is
That this condition is general is proved
by the query which meets the news OF the
employment of any one. Try it. Tell
your friends that some mutual acouainu-
ance has secured position in any house,
and see If they do not, one and all, ask,
"How did he get in ?"
In public offices pull is seemingly
matter of course.
The ingenious typewriting girls, who
admitted they expected four times as
much pay for doing City work, were TAX
ing lesson from their brother man.
The brain workers, too. are partly handi-
capped by the increasing difficulty in
gaining livelihood. 1t cramps genius or
perverts it to know that it must be con-
verted into money right now. or the spark
of inspiration will die Tor want of bread.
There is something most vitality wrong
with time when men must struggle so
hard to make living that they have
neither time nor energy to make life.
The weird, sensual and short-lived liter
ature Of the day is the result of he same
pressure. We must write what will sell.
The two extremes, the shaggy, gloomy,
hating anarchist, and the slender, eff
Terminate man of fashion are results.
They did not make themselves.
Boys live, and will continue to live, even
in worse conditions, but life isn't very
satisfactory just now. Things will right
in time, perhaps, and time to come may
counteract the effects of the present.
It is wrong to point to the failures of
this time as present failures. They are
failures of the past. The stream of wrong
living has been flowing down to us through
other lives and broadening as it flowed.
1t is no great honor to be boy now
adays, and no bed OF ease. The tenderest
consideration and sympathy is only JUS
tice for boys who fail; the highest respect
and honor is only the Just due of those
who honestly succeed, however humbly.
OLIVE HEYDEN.
The San Francisco call., 1896-08-23

NIYSTERIoUsLY DISA PPEARED FROM
vi Babaquivera, Arizona, o. b, October. 1s9-
John Courtney, Earl OF Gasket Under medium
size, blue-ey ed, re icent manner: constant pipe
smoker: wore miners clothes and close-cropped
beard of singular copper color. Two hundred
pounds reward for Information regarding his
Whereabouts. FOSDYK ~ FOSDYK, collectors,
3 BIsh ops gate-within, London, 4. C.-Adve rtise-
menL
The morning times., 1896-03-20
OLIVE OIL A BEAUTiFlER.
A GREAT ia ctor in hardening and white
N inr the flesh OF neck and arms whit

A GREAT fa ctor in hardening and whiten'
~ ing the flesh OF neck and arms which
the high stock collars and heavy sleeves
have a tendency TO yellow and shrivel is
cool water generously applied every morn
ing.
II you take n cold morning douche, it
should he preceded at night by thorough
wash with good soap and warm water.
In the morning use the sponge and water
moderately cold, rubbing the neck and arms
vigorously with rough towel.
This simple remedy assists greatly in de-
veloping the bust, and to the woman ar
flicted with n fiat, ''siatty" figure viii
be found highly beneficial.
Treat the flesh overnight To half hours
ma ssage, using a te9spoOnful or sweet olive
Oil Warm the hands before the fire, or,
better stiIl, warm the oil and rub into the
skin 20 he developed or fed" thoroughly.
In the morning use the cold bath.
This treatment persisted in will soon re-
ward the patient by a surprising filling
out that will crafty and improve.
For salIow and dead looking compilations
the sweet olive oil will be found beneficial,
and for eradicating the disfiguring and ag-
grayating little blackhead.
Cleanse the face thoroughly with warm
water, and while the skin is still fresh ap-
ply the warm olive oil with the tips or the
fingers, massa ging the face thoroughly but
gently. Rub for ten or fifteen minutes or
until the oil has been absorbed
The morning times., 1896-03-20
ALLOW ANCE FOR GIRLS.

NXTHEN girl reaches certain age, say
w II or Is, She should be made an al
lowance. paid monthly or quarterly,
oat OF which she should be expected TO pro
vide herself with gowns. hats and all the
staple requirements of her toilet. As to
luXurics, like furs, jewels, ball gowns and
such things. they may be left 10 the indi-
ridual generosity of her parents, who need
not stint themselves in that because they
give her an allowance. Too much stress
cannot be laid upon the fact that every
girl should have an allowance, and thus be
trained to the expenditure ofmoney. Many
a young girl. when she marries and goes to
her husband. excites alternately his ir-
rtation and alarm. owing to her utter ig-
noranCe OF money. If such girl has been
trained from girlhood to the receipt OF a
stated sum out of which she had to meet her
needs she would make a better wife.
The morning times., 1896-03-20
lie FOUND HIS IDEAL.

II E talked OF all the troubles which in
families have arisen, and vowed he
would have none Of such unhappiness
in his'n. He'd never, never take wife.
though she he swampcd with gold, until
he was assured that strife would nc'er
invade his fold
His friends laughed long at his i-dce,
they loudly did dcride it, and said he'd
know not what 'twould be until he'd fairly
tried it.
lie started forth re solved to find a
woman of the model which was imprinted
on the mind he carried in his nofidle.
she must not list to SANDERS tongue.
nor see my indiscretions: she must not
scold when L do wrong; must hold no
'Caudle' sessions"
He hunted high. he hunted low. through
many a Christian nation, saw girls who'd
grace a beauty show, and maids in humble
station. Nor paused until he'd met
success, he found his fair ideal and what
his friends called craziness they now would
find was real.
lie married her: she listened not when
sIander made advances: from out her eyes
he never caught suspicious cruel glances.
She never spoke an angry word. but smiled
when she would. meet him, and oft by true
affection spurred with kisses she would
greet him In short. she was the very
kind OF wife for such a chap, for she was
deaf and dumb and blind.
Now hadn't he a snap?
The morning times., 1896-03-20

MET THEIR new PASTOR
Hamline's Gongre yaticn and Rev.
Stricken Become Acquainted.
lie Met with Cordial welcome and
Assured Them That He Was Small
but Hard 10 XIII.

The Rev. W. r. Stricken, the new pastor
of Hamline NJ. f. Church. corner of T and
Ninth streets, was rendered a hearty wei
come by the members or the congregation
last evening. the occasion Of his first official
appearance among them.
II was the regular Thursday evening
prayer er-meetingan the church was crowded
TO meet the new pastor. who made flying
trip from baltimore yesterday to attend
and meet the members OF his new charge.
When Rev. Mr. StricElen rose 70 oncn
the service, there was an empty seat on the
front row, while many were standing
in the rear OF the room. The new pastor
evidently was not used to seeing the front
pew only partly filled, so with wave Of
his hand he said: Come up to the front
and take the seat some one there Is moth
ing so uninspiring as an empty bench"
The seat was Immediately filled and the
service opened with congregational sing
ing led by the Rev. Mr.. Stricken, who
has rich and powerful baritone voice.
Rev. Mr.. Stricken then read the story
of the pharisee and publican who went 10
the temple to pray.
The pastor then referred 20 the hearty
welcome extended and the many kind
nesses already rendered him. He said he
was small, but would be hard 10 Kill, and
would exert his whole energy in minister
ing TO the wants OF his flock.
When Mr.. Stricken had finished speak
ing an interesting and amusing incident
occurred. Mr.. Daniel Christie, the Oldest
member OF the congregation, rose from bis
seat in the front pew, and leaning on the
railing said in a loud voice "Our people
love you already, because what you say
has the right ring about it, and now you
can go back home and tell your wife what
we say-and God bless you"
At the conclasion OF the service an m
formal reception was rendered the new
pastor, Trustees Z. !. Boorham, James
Benton and jefferson Davis presenting
by name those present.
Rev. Mr. Stricken went to Baltimore
last night. but viii return on Sunday. when
he VIII preach a the morning service.
The morning times., 1896-03-20
MavfInwer SocialClub.

The Mayflowcr Socials met Tuesday even
ing at the residence OF Miss Maggie Herr
mann. 1t was a surprise to Miss Herr
mann. and all OF the members attended in
mask. A repast was served after which
dancing was indulgcd in uutil late hour
Among those present were Mr.. and Mrs.
Hermann, Mr.. and Mrs. j Schlotterbeck
Mr.. and Mrs. A q. Hermann. Mrs Ewing,
the Ewald sisters, Ehlshagan sisters
SCHNEIDER sisters, Miss Ruppertus, Miss
Schmid!nan. Miss Williams, Miss Lambrecht,
Miss Dayton, Miss Puridy, Miss Schultz,
Miss Yolgt, Miss Boyer, Misses Katie and
Maggie Hermann, and Messrs. Scilaum,
Botsch, Schultz, Wittberger Walter, Zoll,
Raab. Schacfer. Koehler, Ewing, Kaiser,
A. B. Schlotterbeck, F. A, and C. F.
HERMANN
The morning times., 1896-03-20
TIE TOAST, WOMAN"

TT HERE is no perfect meal without a
woman to do the honors OF the table.
water is as good as wine, and the
following may serve as hints to the father,
mother, brother. husband, Or guest who is
able to talk, yet needs a little aid to lift
him out Of the common rut:
Woman-The sweetest creature the Lord
ever made.
Woman-The source of help, happiness
and heaven.
woman-she needs no eulogy; she speaks
for herself.
woman-A creature "nobly planned, to
warn, 10 comfort and command"
Womau-0nce there was woman. sir
and here she is!
Woman-The fairest work of the great
Author; the edition is large, and no man
should be without copy.
Woman-The tyrant we love, the friend
we trust.
woman-God bless her, the queen of all
creation.
The morning times., 1896-03-20
CHILDREN AND SYSTEM.
A CERTAIN New York baby who has the

A CERTAIN New York baby who has the
~ luck or misfortune OF having
VaSsar girl as nurse is consequently
allowed TO howl itself TO sleep day after day
on the ground that it should be got into
the habit OF sMmbering without extra
attention from parents or guardians. In
a VaSsar girl this action has. Of course,
a lofty theoretical motive. In q Tlain,
ordinary, unCducated Bridget it might be
imputed to simple lazness. Seriously,
what an immense amount Of useless wear
and tear and comfortlessness little children
are ubiecTed to in the name of "systernr'
4 mother of grown children once said
that she thought that the oldest child
OF family was apt to be the victim
OF many dismal educa tional theories.
BY the time the second or third appeared
on the scene. the parents had usually rec
ognized the general hopelessness OF trying
TO run nature into a mold and had reds-
covered for themselves the one thing
certain about IN infant whether OF smaller
or larger growth-its uncertainty.
The morning times., 1896-03-20
WOMAN SUPFRAGISfS MEET
Plans Made for a Concert at an
Early Day.
Delegates Elected to the Anti-Diyislon
association and Other Or
ganlZntions.

A sDccial meeting, OF the District OF
Columbia Woman's Suffrage Association
was held in the Riggs House parlors last
night TO make arrangements for concert
to be given soon Dy Miss Maud Powell the
New York yionist. ana TO transact other
business. Hiss Powell is daughter Of
Supt. Powell of the Washington public
schools and a niece or Mrs. L. T. Thomp-
son, president OF the association.
Mrs. Thompson presided and Miss NJ.
II. Williams acted as secretary.
Positive arrangements for the concert
were not decided Gpons Miss Williams was
elected a delegate 10 II t annual meeting
OF the District OF Columbia Federation OF
woman Clubs. which is Il meet n u time
yet to be fixed.
Miss Gillette was selected TO represent
the Suffrage Association at meetings of
the Anti-Diyision Society. She was i'll
structcd, by a resolution, to uphold any
action that would make the punishment
OF men equal with that of wCmen brought
to trial for irregularities OF social con-
duct arising from any prosecutions which
may come as Il result OF the crusade.
Mrs. Bclya Lock wood presented an inv-
tation to send delegate TO the international
Congress OF Women, which is to meet q I
Paris, France, April 8. Mrs. Lockwood
had already been selected by the Peace
Society to present the credentials or that
organization al the congress, and the Suf-
frage Association passed u resolution OF
adhesion TO the selection, the result OF
which is that she will represent both So
cieties at the Paris congress.
f. c. Gctsinger, after the conclusion OF
the business session, delivered his lecture
on Mag gnetism," which is based on the
theory OF the magnetic aura which sur
rounds humanity. The idea, plainly told,
is that promscuous association is detri-
mental from the injurious magnetic cur
rents that are contracted from the base to
the pure.
The announcement was made that early
in May Charlotte Perkin StetSon. OF Cal
lfornia, Will lecture here under the auspice ces
OF the association.