Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1896-06-23
THE JOKE THAT FAILED.
BrcYcLIsT THOUGHT IT FUNNY TO SMASH
ANorHER's BIKE.

BrcYcLIsT THOUGHT 1T FUNNY TO SMASH
ANoTHER's BIKE.
This Is the story Of funny man,
knowing man, and telephone, and the
events happened on the Brooklyn cycle
path half way down to C0ney Island on
a recent afternoon. The funny man was
riding toward Coney Island, and he was
getting lots of amusement out OF his
ride BY pretending that he was novice,
and sending his wheel from side to
side In way to send cold chills up ana
down the backs Of other riders. A
dozen times he apparently narrowly es.
capped running into other people, and
each time he would apologize with
serious face, then turn and wink at
two other young men, who kept close
behind him and evidently enjoyed THIS
performance. lie never did this, how
ever, without following it up by squirt
ing past the persons he had alarmed, To
show them what good rider he was.
Now, the cycle path broadens out at
certain points along the line, usually III
front of the road houses, and when the
funny man with his friends reached
spot where there was plenty OF room ne
began going around In Wild circles nj
great speed. His apparent escapes were
remarkable, and, though people yelled
Mt him to stop making fool of himself,
he only laughed, and shouted that ne
guessed he knew what he was doing.
Disaster was bound to come, and good
/ ttA
from the island, was the victim. lie got
In the periphery OF one OF the Funny
mans wild circles. There was crash
and mix-up, and when the wheels were
pulled apart the funny mans machine
was found intact, while the others was
considerably injured. Neither man was
hurt In the least, and the funny mans
friends we're doubled up with laughter.
As for the funny man, he winked at one
OF his friends, and then proceeded To tel
the other man how sorry he was about II
all.
"Yes, that's all right" drawled the
knowing man, "but who's going TO paw
for ALL the damage done TO my bicycles
"Can YOU get II into shape TO ride back
10 Brooklyn" asked the funny young
man.
II guess So" replied the other, "but
that's not enough Who's going TO set
tie for the REPAIRS
"Why, am. Of course said the iun-
nv man, grandiloquently.
Now YOU ride right on 10 Brooklyn,
and when you reach Flatbush Ave. 60 10
! Blanks bicycle store. Tell them that
Mr.. Jones sent YOU there, and that you
want your wheel repaired. They know
me very well there, aud I'll give you
nv card with note telling them TO
charge everything 10 me. Id go with
YOU myself, but II would break up my
entire day, and I've an appointment
on the island"
The funny man and his friends rode
away. when the knowing man had
had his wheel patched up BY local
mechanics he didn't mount II and start
post haste for Blanks. Instead, he made
a lot Of notes of damage done, sent the
hicyclc around into the stable and
then entered the road house. He made
straight for the telephone, and, opening
the book. found that Blank had tele-
phone in his shop. 30 he rang Blank up.
mir. Blank" he said, ''just tell me IA
nearly a. YOU can what IL will cost 10
make the following repairs To bicycle:
Fix 30 bent spokes, broken brake
three patches on front tire, one on the
back tire, strsighten out handle bar,
sew up a hide leather saddle and do
few other things, such a. putting In
new ball bearings and polishing some
scratches. You think slj or $50 will do
Ii, eh? Well, would you do that much
on credit for Mr.. Joness What MIR.
Jones: Why, your old friend and Gus
toner, Mr.. Jones. You know him. Tall
and slim. with black moustache. You
don't know anybody answering that de
scription, and hsven't n customer nameh
Jones' Well, I'm not surprised. What
that: I'm a fool: Yes, sir, but not as
big one as Jones"
IL was : o'clock when the funny man
and his two friends hove In sight, and
AS they came up they all smiled as the
scene recalled To them the little joke they
had PLAYED. The funny mans smile
didn't last long, however, for he sudden
; lv found himself confronted by the OBJ
ject of his little joke.
How dye do" said the knowing
man: come down and talk 10 me for
while"
"Wh-wh-what do you want: fal-
tered the humorist, dismounting slowly.
40, only wanted 10 say that Blank
SAYS that $50 will cover the repairs To my
wheel. lie also says you're liar.
Now, don't say that you are. but |
want $40 from you damned quick. DO
getit:'
Don't you threaten me-" said the
funny man, getting up his nerve. III
don't admit by any means that I'm en-
tirely 10 blame for that accident, and
| don't mean to
The interruption was short aud sharp.
II was punch right from the shoulder,
and II caught the funny man under the
chin. Another swing caught him behind
the ear, and down he went. Then the
clever man walked over 10 the other
two.
Were YOU in the Joke, too?' he said.
I'm looking for few Of you funny fel-
lows"
Before either got a chance 10 answer
the knowing man got in "a punch on
each. aud as they fled he went back TO
the first man, who WAS just getting on
his feet, grabbed him by the neck, shook
him until his teeth ratified, and then re-
marked:
Before punch you again, what are
the chances Of my getting that s2O!'
Here. hold on" snufied the man.
1--WE got enough, but I've only got sl2
10 my name."
Get the rest from your friends, then.
You'll pay for that wheel or I'll kill you
right here"
At the funny mans call his two
friends came slowly mp, keeping one eve
on the other man. Between them they
collected S., which the knowing man
took, together with the first mans sl2.
Then he demanded u cents more for
telephone expenses. On getting 1t he
turned away with polite GOOD night,
Mr. Jones'" and went back into the
hotel.
NERVES ON EDGE.