Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-06-18

when lose any little thing like that
/ knew where to look for IT," You
do?" Eyes; it's nearly always in baby's
MOUTH Chicago Record. hAsi@ y
"What Is an irretrievable error?" 1T
is getting up and dressing at 5 o'clock
under the impression that the clock
struck 6."-Chicago Record. p
lis she really 50 poorw Poor! Why,
it's one Of the most epitiful cases ever
heard Of. She's too poor even to own
bicycle."-Chicago Evening Post.
He cried: Il do not understand;
I've met the blast Of common wo';
Chilled in the freeze of failure and
Nobody said: Il told you So"
Philadelphia Press.
Mudge-No, shall not quarrel with
Parsons. He is completely beneath my
notice. Yabsley-You don't tell me? I
didn't know he was SO good fighter az
that.-Indianapolis Journal
II was around to your place last
night and took the liberty of borrowing
some Of those new novels of yours"
That's all right. only wish you had
come around before read them-"-Life.
what do you consider the greatest
charm Of summer travelr' "Well, you
meet lot Of new people and can make
yourself agreeable and entertaining on
your old stock OF ideas."-Chicago
Record.
He-Miss Bertha, do you know that
1 WEAKLY wode a hundred miles on my
wheel lahst week? She-Encore! En-.
core! and in straightaway direction,
Reginald, If you please. "-Bosto'
Courier. ftf
"The weather can oft foretell,'
He said in tones of pain;
"a new silk hat with no umbrell
Is certain sign Of rain"
Washington Star
Edith-Ethel's husband is positively
mean. Grace-How Is that? why,
he wants her to use her last years
wheel, while everybody has the new
spring styles.'-St. Louis Globe-Demo-
crat.
Visitor-What makes you so ugly,
Tommy? Don't you love your new lit
tie baby brother? Tommy (viciously)-
Well, 1 did till somebody came in and
said he looked like me.-Someryille
Journal.
Singley-Who is this man Cleverly
whose divorce suit is causing such q
sensation? Margaret-Or, why he's
the author Of that charming novel, "a
Happy Marriage" Philadelphia North
American. ur s
"Now, Johnny, do you understand
thoroughly why 1 am going to whip
your "Yes'm. You're In bad humor
this morning, an you've got to lick some
one before you'll feel satisfed."-Har-
lem Life
"Blykins Is the most modest man
ever saw" said friend Of his. what
makes you think SOP" II never yet
heard him claim that the bicycle he
rides is the best on the market
Washington Star
Margaret-Don't you think Maude
loved Charlie? Ethel-No, dear; it Is
my firm belief that she only married
him for his beautiful collection Of
striped outing shirts.-Philadelphia
North American.
Once more these sad conditions come
To grieve the country and the town;
The mercury now runneth up;
The perspiration runneth down.
Washington Star.
Teacher-Now, Freddie, since Won
have correctly spelled Philadelphia, can
you tell me what State it is in? Freddie
Yes, sir. l heard pa say the other day
that it was in State of coma.-Yonk-
ers Gazette.
''The price of your fish is dreadfully
high here" "Yes, we don't have many
to sell; we make more money renting
them In strings to.visitors who want
their photographs taken to send home"
Chicago Record.
Showgo-What on earth is that bulky
arrangement on your opera glassf
Frontrow (gleefully)NGreate scheme
in the world! microscope attachment.
Turns all the actresses into living pic
tures.-Brooklyn Life.
Wheeler-This thing Of giving away
franchises to the street car companies
Is nothing short Of an outrage. The
people own the streets, don't theyf
Walker-The people who ride bicycles
do.-IndianapOlis Journal. ri rst.t
Il should think" she said sympa-
thetically to the young man who acts,
''that you would get tired Of saying the
same thing over and over" mo- he
answered with pensive sadness, lit isn't
that that makes us tired. It's hearing
the same thingsover and over when we
ask for the salary that never came."-
washington Star.
And are you really the gentleman
WHO writes those funny things for the
morning paperw asked the Ingenious
girl. 81 am" admitted the humorist,
with as much modesty as he could COM
mand. There Is one thing 1 would
like to know. What makes you put the
name of some other paper after the
very funniest ones?"-Cincinnati On.