davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05
Learned tho Funnel Trielk.

Jerry Lynch has finally learned the
funnel trick He took it i'll two doses
one on one evening and the other the
next. The senator sauntered up to the
Bohemian club the other day and saw
two or three Of the younger members
attempting new feat, and he watched
them with interest. One of them stuck
funnel in the top of his trousers,
threw his head back, placed SO cent
piece On his forehead and tried to drop
it in the funnel by slowly lowering his
head. After all had failed Jerry in
sisted on trying it, though all had tried
to dissuade him from attempting a feat
too difficult for them. The funnel was
placed in the waistband of his trousers,
and he threw back his head to receive
the coin on his expansive brow. At that
juncture pitcher Of ice water was emp
tied into the funnel, and by the time
Jerry got through dancing the jokers
had vanished. The senator's temper i'm
proved with dry raiment, and the next
night at the club he started in to show
a couple Of friends the funnel trick.
Its this way" be explained. "You
put the funnel in the top of your panta-
looms, so, then throw your head back,
SO, and-wowp'
Again Jerry was forced to change his
raiment, and he is not showing people
what he knows about the funnel trick.
San Francisco News Letter.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05
openly condemn the cause of their pros

perity.
The medical curiosity is a twenty-eight-
year-old girl named Marie Bouyenval For
thirteen years she has been asleep, and
the physicians say that she may be asleep
for forty or even fifty years longer, and
again she may die at any time. People
live to green old age in Thenelles. but
that can hardly be advanced as u reason for
longevity in the case of Marie BouvenaL
Her case is absolutely unprecedented in
the annals of medicine. OF course there
are many cases of trance sleepers on record
but none OF them approach this French
peasant girl in the matter of time
Th home of this wonIe, full sleel er is hum
BILE enough and the evidences of poverty are
plentiful. Right inside the doorway is the
bed on which the girl is sleeping, the same
bed ON which she has slept since 1888. The
only other occupant of the cottage, or hut
is the mother of the afflicted girl Nine.
Bouyenval is fat frowsy and not pleasant
looking. Her life is almost as solitary ana
as emotionless as that OF her unconscious
daughter. The village folks have nothing
to do with her, for that is part of their ha-
tired for the Bouyenvals. The single reason
for this is that mother Bouyenval accepts
any money that is offered her by the doctors
OF curiosity seekers who see the girl
While it is true that she lives by the malay
OF her daughter, the living is poor enough
ana II would be stony stranger
who could visit that hut without placing d
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05

piece of silver in the hands of the old
mo ther
The village folk are not content with
quietly ignoring the old woman and shun7
ming the Bouyenval COTTAGE; they go out OF
their way to tell weird stories to strangers
about her They say that she is witch OF
magnetizer, who purposely keeps the girl
asleep that she may make money by exhlp-
iting her. Poor old Mother Bouyenval
knows of all these stories and they nave
look it always bears.
But these tables of the peasants are inc
veriest bosh. Since the first day that The
girl fell into her wonderful sleep she mas
been under the care of the village physician,
good and modest man, who has done mnch
toward interesting the great scientists or
Europe in the case in the hope OF restoring
the lost power to the afflicted ore.
A visit to this hus can never be forgotten.
The girl was lying on the bed with closed
eyes, her body perfectly motonless, her
skin CHASTITY white and for all the world
looking like corpse. When the hand was
placed upon the forehead it was doubly
difficult to realize that a breath of life ex-
listed in that stilled body The skin was
cold to the touch, and it seemed clammy
The hand of the sleeper appeared like
that of a mummy. 1t was shrlveled and
dried, and the bones showed clearly through
the scant covering of flesh. Mother Bouyen-
val raised the arm and it remained contract
ed in that position. Then she raised the
bedclothes, exposing the skeleton form of
the girl The bones showed clearly, just as
they did in the hand. The skin was like
parchment, and was so dry that 1t seemed
as if the bones must crack through. When
the finger tips were placed on the pulse in
the wrist faint beating could be felt, and
that was the only sign of life.
The malady of the girl il easily told. but
not so easily explained. Thirteen years ago
she was attacked by spell of sickness. 1t
seemed to be an ordinary fever, but the girl
Developed nervous fit Then she fell
asleep, and her mother imagined, and SO
did the doctor, that she was on the road to
recovery. But she has never awakened
from that sleep.
In time her teeth became closed like a
WISE 1t would be impossible now to force
her mouth open without breaking the jaw.
1t was necessary to break off one of the
front teeth, and through this small opening
the old mother administer sufficient nourish-
ment to keep the sleeper alive. A small
quantity of alcohol and milk is dropped in
to the mouth through a straw, and this is
the only food given her.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05

vary numerous in Lake Nicaragua. They
are about five feet long. AT QUE time
this lake was part of the sea bottom, and
by geological changes it was converted
into it's present shape. The sea water
became gradually fresh, and the sharks
accom- modated themselves to the altered
conditions.
Sharks are among the most ancient Of
fishes. Great quantities Of their fossil
teeth are found scattered over the bottom
of the oceans, from which they are
brought up by dredgers. In the valley of
the Potomac large mum bers of sharks
teeth are turned up by the plough.
Some Of them are of huge size. showing
that certain species of sharks that lived
ages ago were vastly bigger than any
now surviving. The writer las seen ono
of these teeth which WINS six inches long
The teeth of the great White shark is
only two inches long. The original
owner of the tooth described could not
have been less than eighty feet in length.
Snch fossil teeth are often used for bat
tle-axes by savages. Among the natives
of the Pacific Islands, by the way,
sharks livers are regarded as royal lux
ury.
Sharks vary in respect to the mum Der
of rows of teeth which they possess. The
White shark has seven rows. Only one
row is used at time, however. The
other rows lie down inside the mouth
behind the edge of the jaw, erecting
themselves when it is time for them to
take SUCCESSFULLY the place of the worn
cut first row. One OF the inosp danger
GUS sharks in the world is The Blue
shark, which replaces the White shark in
on.der waters. Sharks are often killed Dy
porpoises which will surround shark
and lash the enemy to death with their
fukes.
RENE BACHE.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05
ASLEEP Is YEARS.
The Peculiar Case Of q French
Peasant Girl.
1T FURNISHES A PROBLEM FOR
SCIENTISTS.
Looks Like a BIummy-Her Jaws Have
Been Looked for Years.


Looks Like a EIummy-Her Jaws Have
Been Looked for Years.
Paris, Nov. 25.-In one of the little vii
lagos In northern France. almost on the
dividing line between Germany, and in q
country made historic by the quick success
sion of terrific battles of the Franco Prus-
sian war, lives u medical curiosity. The
village is Thenelles, a picturesque place,
with an abundance of poverty, but inter
esting nevertheless.
Aside from its possession of this medical
wonder the fame of Thenclles rests in the
fact that it is only about ten miles from the
city of st. Quentin and quite close to the
manufacturing town of orignySainte-
Benoite.
The tiny population of Thenelles is proud
of its territorial relationship to st. Quentin
and of its proximity to Origny Sainte- Be-
noite, but it has nothing but abuse for its
medical phenomenon.
Yet this latter is the greatest single main
stay of Thenelles in the possession of the
place. People nave journeyed q thousand
miles to witness it. Great physicians and
scientists have come down from Paris time
and again to study it, The two innkeepers
OF Ihenelles ale almost on the verge of affiu-
people, yet they, like their townspeople,
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05
Something to Know.

1t may be worth something to know
that the very best medicine for restoring
the tired out nervous system to a healthy
vlgor Is Electric Bitters. This medicine
is purely vegetable. acts by giving tone
to the nerve centres in the stomach, gem
thy stimulates the Liver and Kidneys,
and aids these organs in throwing on
impurities in the blood. Electric Bltter,
improves the appetite, aids digestlons
and IS pronounced by those who nav
tried it MS the very best blood purlfier
and nerve tonic. Try it. Sold for 50c or
M.oo per bottle at II. P. s. Goold's drug
Store, 577 Congress street, under Con-
gress Suare Hotel.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05
The doctors can only account for the long

The doctors can only account for the long
sleep by saying that she is suffering from
peculiar form of lethargy.5 and moreover she
is const.tu icnally hysterical. 1t is the be-
lief that the sleep is growing deeper each
year. In the first years it was interrupted
by hysterical crises, and as recently as three
years ago her pulse would beat wildly II
her arm were raised. The doctors say that
her brain is dead. and Eeyond awakening
Practically Marie Bouyenval has been dead
for thirteen years.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05

Mr.. T. F. O'Donnell, well-known
druggist of Parsons. Pa, IN speaking of
Chamberlain Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhoea Remedy says: Several times in
the last few years when suffering with
cramp or diarrhoea 1 have made per-
sonal test of the value of this remedy.
The effect in each instance was almost
immediate relief" For sale at FL. P. S.
Goods drug store, SIT Congress ST., I'M
der Congress Square Hotel, and by K
s. Raymond, Cumberland Mills.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05
FIFTY CENTS.

The DAILY PRESS is sent TO any
address by mail for so CENTS A
MONTH. 1t is deliyeredhy carriers
y" "ortlana and vicinity 1.-THE same
rate.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05

"This 10 cent piece is no good, said
the cigar dealer.
''Neither is this cigar" said the GUS
toner, striking another match. -Yonkefs
Statesman
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05
THINK With YOUR LIVER.
Not Hard 10 Do if You Will Cultivate
the Habit.
MENTAL PROCESSES In WHICH THE
BRAIN IS NOT CONCERNEr.

Science Has Ascertained That the Heart
and the Other Viscera Do Good Deal
of Thinking for Themselves-A Brain
Behind the Stomach-How Turtle
Stays Alive After he Is Dead-The
Darkest Place in All the World.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-12-05

Shanghai may be reached froEl Nc"
York via London in 81 days, and via Dan
Francisco in 81.
Iron County register., 1896-03-19
CITY OFFICERS:
CHURCHES:

CATHOLIC CHURCH, Arcadia College
and Pilot Knob. L. WERNERT Rector.
High Mass and Sermon at Arcadia College
every Sunday at O'Clock A. NJ. yespers and
Benedictfon of the Blessed Sacrament at 4
O'Clock p. NJ. High Mass and Sermon and
BenedictSonat Pilot Knob Catholic Church
at 10:30 O'Clock A. NJ. Sunday School for
children at 1:So O'Clock P. N.
NJ e. CHURCH, Cor. Reynolds and
Mountain Streets, EDw. kOETH, Pastor.
Residence: Graniteviile. Services Saturday
night and Sunday morning of the second
aud fourth Sundays of each month at IL A.
NJ. and P. II. Sunday School $3.50 A. NJ.
Prayer Meeting Thursday evening. All
are invited.
NJ. E. CHURCH, SOUTH, Fort Hill,
between lronton and Arcadia. Rev. l..
+. AsPLEY, Pastor. Services every Sunday,
at Ii A. NJ. and 1880 P. NJ. Prayer meeting
Wednesday evening, 1880 O'Clock. Sab
bath School at $3.50 A. VI. Ladies' All So
ciety. Thurs lay, P. NJ. Ladies' Prayer
Meeting, Friday, p. NJ. Juvenile Mission
ary Society at Parsonage, SATURDAY. 2:3O p.
NJ. Choir Practice at Church, Friday, 1880
PM. All are cordially invited to attend
these services.
BAPTIST CHURCH, Madison street,
near Knob ST., II. T. MORToN,D. ID, Pastor.
Residence lronton. Preaching on every
Saturday before the first Sunday of each
month at $3.50 p. N. and on the first and third
Sundays at IL A. NJ. Sunday School every
Sunday at $3.50 A. NJ. and Prayer Meeting
every Tuesday evening at 1880 p. NJ.
Presbyterian Church, cor. Reynolds
and Knob streets, Ironton. Services at IL A..
NJ. al 1:3) P. NJ. SUNDAY School at $3.50 A.
N. Y.P. 5. C. r., $3.50 P. NJ. Prayer Meet
ing Wednesday, PM. q. II. DUTY, Paste
ST. PAUL'5 CHURCH, Episcopal, Ironton.
Sunday School every Sunday, at $3.50 A. NJ.
LUTHERAN CHURCH, Pilot Knob.
Rev. OrTo PFAFFE, Pastor.
M. E. CHURCH, Corner Shepherd
and Washington streets, Ironton. II. A.
HENLEY. pastor. Preaching every Sum
day at IL A. NJ. and 1880 P. II. Sunday
School at $3.50 A. NJ. aud Select Reading at 4
P. NJ. Literary every Tuesday night at 8.
Iron County register., 1896-03-19
A Crime Against School Children.


The attempt that certain persons are
making to change the character of the
schools from a non-partisan manage
ment to a political machine, and to
conduct them on a spoils basis. is a
crime against the children of this city.
Things need to be called by their true
names and set forth in their real coll
ors. Shall the children's interests be
sacrificed in order to advance the self
ish instincts and the low motives of
those whose highest ambition is the
cohesive power of public plunder?
Shall the fangs of the political vampire
be fastened on innocent ones who can
not help themselves? Are the people
clamoring for such an abuse?
Wherever political methods have
entered the schools, there grabs, as
sessments, rake-offs, and all the evils
flowing from a vicious system have
grown aud fourished. ITO the VIC
tors belong the spoils, is the motto OF
all such, and the decree has been car
ried out with a vengeance that is sick
ening. Positions are bought and paid
for in advance. and then they are not
always delivered. The only qualifica-
tions: a money consideration, assessed
on all employees.
This has proved to be the case in
San Francisco, in Brooklyn, and in
Cincinnati. while now one part of the
st. Louis school board spends much of
its time in investigating the other part
In northern city recently Doodle
member was summarily expelled.
In every city where politics has en-
tered the schools, the schools have
been contaminated. and the children
neglected. Are the people as a BODY
Iron County register., 1896-03-19

Castoric cures Collie, Constipation,
Sour Stomach, Diarrhna, Eructa.ion,
Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes d.
gestion,
Without injurious medication.
Iron County register., 1896-03-19

ready for such condition of affair
here? We believe they are not.
has been stated here by members o
the school board on several OCCASION
that in making appointments to posi-
tions only one question has ever beer
considered, viz: us the applicant
qualified as teacher for the placer
Now a RADICAL change is sought to b,
introduced. The schools inside ani
out must be turned into political as
sessment offices. The machine mus
be set to work. Party fealty is to bt
the watchword-noth how best to teach
the children. All employees will be as
sessed under threats. and unless they
pay up promptly. and is done in Other
cities, decapitation follows.
The ward political boss will come
into the school house and dictate tt
the principal or teacher what he want.
done, or he "will use his influence te
have the principal or teacher dismiss
ed.r
In St. Louis principals and teachers
have to do this very thing now. Prin'
cipals in a city on the Ohio river paid
some years ago as much as $500 to be
allowed to remain in their schools,
and it may not be any better now.
AS friend of the city and of all the
people of this city, the Times stands
unequivocally for the complete sepa-
ration of the schools from partisan in
reference. In selecting director for
our schools, as we'll as teacher, the
sole question should be, does he pos
sess the Jeffersonian qualifications; is
he honest and capable? It is not right
to turn. or attempt to turn, the schools
over to any political party.
The people of Kansas City are intel
ligent. and they know what they want;
consequently they will resist any and
every attempt to weaken the efficiency
of their schools. They ask for no
backward steps, and they want no po-
litical.. schemes exploited into the
schools for the. benefit of the bosses
and henchmen who would deprive the
children of the right to be educated.
The children are more highly priced
by the parents than any political sys-
tenn which has ever yet been devised.
Non partisan and non-sectarian is q
platform upon which all can stand,
and that is the one on which they do
stand.-K. C. Times.
Iron County register., 1896-03-19
Among the brethren.

The Southeast MissouTias gives an.
other proof of the soothness OF the say
ing that the child is but father to the
man: 1.-The school boys are having
lots of fun after school hours now.
Some advertising firm has flooded the
country with imitation 500 Confeder.
ate bills. The pockets of the boys are
stuffed with them; they have races
and various other sports and contests
upon which they wager from 5000 to
81 900 with as much interest and en-
thusiasm as if they were betting the
real goods"
We learn from the Houston Herald
that the Republican Congressional
Committee has met and selected
Marshfeld as the place for holding
their Congressional Convention and
April 30th is the time.
Pity the sorrows of the distressed.
The Salem Monitor of last week says:
John Dunlap, Albert Pewitt and Jim
Martin were deprived of home by
the burning of the Jail last Sunday
morning, and have since been wander
ing aimlessly about the streets. :"
Greenville Sun: ..F. r. Raney, oi
Des Arc. now has charge OF the saw
mill near town that was formerly own
ed by S. D. Manning. Frank is an old
man in the mill business and will make
things hum.
The Doniphan Prospect-News thus
raises its Ebenezer and toots its horn:
There is quite an overplus of NOV
ing wagons passing through our City
at present Almost every day there
are from FIVE to half dozen wagons
concentrated on Washington street,
some going to seek their fortunes in
the gold fields of the west. and others
going back to old Kentucky to see
their ..wives' people" and occasional
ly. a few stop here with the intention
! of becoming citizens of Ripley county.
the garden spot of all this wide uni
verse.
Vol. /. No. 1, of the Puxico Index
comes to US this week. It is neatly
printed four-column folio, E. j. Hick-
man being proprietor. We wish the
new venture success. It is an all-at-
home.
From the De Soto Press we learn
that the District Conference of the
Pennington District of the Methodist
Episcopal Church, South, will be held
in DE Soto for several days. beginning
May 18th. Bishop Eugene r. Hem
dirk will be present and preside. One
day will be devoted to the Epworth
League and the work Of the young
people. which will bring number OF
representative young people TO the
town at that time.
The Fredericktown Nescs continues
TO boom B. B. cahoon for Governor.
Iron County register., 1896-03-19
IRONTON, MO. THURSDAY.
A Monumental Sham.

The United States Department of Ag.
riculture has surpassed in the month
of February even its own previous no
BILE achievements. Even in households
where the pocket gopher has become
household pet, and where the pains
of indigestion are softened by daily
perusal of the bulletins which give the
contents of the stomachs of woodpeck-
ers and crows, the February publica-
tion of the department (Gircular No.
IS, second series, Division of Entomol-
ogy) in regard to Mosquitoes and
Fleas" has been welcomed with a glad
hand. Conscious of its merits, the de-
partment is hunting for new glories.
The Secretary of Agriculture, not con-
tent with his other esistolary accom-
plishments, has been writing letters
asking Congress to establish the Office
of Director-in-Chief of Scientific Bu-
reaus and Investigations in the Depart
ment of Agriculture, Ito be filled by
the President with broadly educated.
scientific, and experienced man" !"
This Office" the Secretary adds, s.is
the keystone needed to complete the
perfect arch Of civil service in the De-
partment of Agriculture.
The arch appears to be tolerably
perfect already. According to the
specifications of Mr.. Architect Morton,
it now shadows ], ,485 employees. The
Secretary, the Assistant Secretary, and
the Chief of the Weather Bureau are
exempt. Judging from the weather,
the Chief is the person vino particular
ly needs to be examined. The Chief
Clerk, and the private secretaries to
the Secretary, Assistant Secretary, and
Chief Clerk, are also exempt from ex-
animation. An arch as big as the
whole sky would be too small to cover
all the private secretaries at Washing
ton.
Mr.. Morton has induced a number
of respectable scientific persons to say
that there ought to be Director OF
Scientific Work in the Department of
Agriculture. ..Director-in-Chief of
Scientific Bureau and Investigations"
is another, perhaps the full name. The
professors do not seem to be entirely
certain about the name. The impor-
tant thing is that the salary asked for
is Sc, 900 year. Agriculture is sup
posed to be honored and benefited by
the continuous expenditure of that
handsome sum.
Public opinion of the Hon. Julius
Sterling Morton needs to be revised.
There has seemed to be reason for be-
lieving that he understood that he was
at the head of humbug, authorized
by law, but not to be encouraged. He
has baked seed-distributing Congress
men. He has saved money. But
humbug has been too much for him.
He wants the Department of Agricul-
ture. notorious and ridiculous and fu-
tile as everybody knows it to be, to
have 200 year futility to direct
the other utilities.
The whole thing should be smashed.
1t is absurd, useless, a sham, and de-
rision. 1t is nothing more or less than
a ninth-class sch ool of foundering ex-
periments. 1t does good to the bug
hunter and gopher detectives whom it
employs. 1t does as much good to ag-
riculture as Il frost in June. Abolish
it now!-N. 7. San.
Iron County register., 1896-03-19
What is

Pitchers prescription Infants
md Children. Opium Morphine
q
Paregoric, Drops Soothing Syrups,
Pleasant. guarantee is thirty years by
of Chidren's
tt
Castoria Castoria.
%
il toany Dirhoe Erua.
10 I. d, leep and promote
So OxfHdSt Brooklyn, N. geSion
injurious Esnediat
Theu Of 'Casoria 'isso uner and
merits lknownt il seem
fSIpT athn the
tarnl
with hineasyre |
CARLOS MARTINI D., EDw1NF.P .PARDEk MD
Steetan Ave-, New wYokC
CENrAuR COMPANY z MURRAY STREET. wYoRKC
Iron County register., 1896-03-19
lRaIiIAL DIRECTORY IRON COUNTY
COURTS:

COURTS:
CIRCUIT COURT is held on the
Fourth Monday in April and October.
LoUNTY COURT convenes on the
First Monday of March, june, September
and December.
PROBATE COURT is held on the Cd
Monday in February, May, August and No
sember.
OFFICERS:
w. T. GAY, Representative.
ANDREW J.CARrY Presiding Judge Coun.
t. Court.
CHARLES HART, county Judge, South
ern District.
A. g. MoYER, county Judge, Western
District.
w. r. EDGAR, Prosecuting Attorney.
w. III. FISHER, collector.
W. a. FLETCHER, County clerk.
ARTHUR HUFF, Circuit clerk.
JOS. A. ZwART, Probate Judge.
: P.W. WHITwoRTH, Treasurer.
w. T. O'NEAL, Sheriff.
q. q. HENDERSON, Assessor.
q. w. FAgRAR, SR., Coroner.
j. L. HICKMAN, School commissioner.
CITY OFFICERS:
Mau0r, w. Z. Edgar.
Marsh1t, L. u. Pruitt.
City Attorney,
City Clerk, Arthur Huff.
City Treasurer, Jos. A. Zwart.
Collector, W. Fl. Fisher.
City Councitn.en-L. J. Giovanoni, ,. N
Bishop,M. Clavbaugh, Juo. Baldwin, Geo.
u. Marks and Henry Kendall.
Street Consmittee-Henry Kendall, j. n.
Bishop and l.. j. Giovanoni.
Fire Comps.ttee-L. j. Giovanoni, Henry
Kendall and j. t. Baldwin.
Health Committee-G. D. Marks and NJ.
L. Claybaugh.