The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-03-05
A FEW THINGS.

An enterprising photographer scor-
ed a point yesterday at the head of
Main street On the bill board there
appears the three posters announcing
the attractions at the tabernacle, the
Grand and the Lyceum. The bills
were pasted side by side and the top
lines being in the same sized type,
formed the following striking sentence:
"Paderewsk Led Astray The Two Or
phdns'' The photographer saw it was
a good thing and pushed the camera
button.
One of the bright young men of this
city. who pursueS the friSky item, sug-
gested few evenings ago that no end
of fun might be caused at a newspaper
banquet by assigning to some brilliant
speaker the toast Typographical err
rors' Seldom has brighter thought
been suggested.
Fred Shannon, young man now en-
gagged in chasing sporting news for the
st. Louis Chronicle, at one time owned
| in fee simple a daily paper in South
Omaha His friend Billy Harvey mar
ried a thin young woman at least five
feet ten and went away on a trip.
When they returned Shannon wrote
"Billy Harvey and his bonny bride
have returned from their wedding
tour" The printer got in his deadly
work and the paragraph appeared:
Billy Harvey and his bony bride have
returned from their wedding tour"
Harvey would listen to no explana-
tons, not he. It was in vain Shannon
pointed out how the incident occurred.
He had to fight and came out second
best.
When John A. Creighton, of Omaha.
was appointed a count of the papaI
court by Leo XIII. the editor of the
Omaha Herald, who wrote a very
blind hand, said "the news would be
gratifying to all the old timers in the
state" The types made it read "all
the old terriers in the state" and there
was war instanter.
John N. Edwards, for many years
editor of the KagAas City Times, at
one point in his career ran the St Joe
Gazette for Colonel James n. Burnes.
Major Edwards wrote a hand which
was merry and free and decidedly il
legible. He used to read his own
proof in order to avoid mistakes, but
one night was absent from the office
and suffered all the pangs of disgust
next day as a result. He wrote Such
a condition has never been observed
since the day
When Music, Heavenly Maid was
young
all of which duly appeared "such a
condition has never been observed
since the day
When Maurice Henry Wade was
hung
A young poet writing on a senti-
mental subject penned the lines:
"a 10 " fhn
1t is merely glittering dross,
It appeared:
Take away the jeering monkeys
On a sorelY glandered horse"
=
But speaking of poems A new one
has been discovered, although some
claim to be familiar with it. 1t rivals
anything ever written by anyone in
exquisite tenderness. Its author was
a section hand on the North British
railroad and the poem first appeared
in a local paper. AS far as can be
ascertained by inquiry no other mark
Of genius has ever been displayed by
the author, but If he never writes an
other line he is deserving of a niche in
flames grand temple.
''OH. BARNES, CUDDLE doom"
The baIrnies cuddle doom at NIGHT
On, try an sleep, We waukrife rogues,
Your fathers comm in;
They never heed word L speak,
L try to gle a frown;
But aye hap them up an say,
on, ba1rnieS, cuddle DOOM
Wee Jamie wi the curly held
He aye sleeps next the wa.
Bangs UP and cries, II want a piecev'
The rascal starts them a.
L rim an fetch them pieces, drinks,
They stop wee the SCUM,
Then draw the blankets UP an cry
moo, weanies, cuddle DOOM
But ere five minutes gang wee Rab
Cries out frae meath the claes,
'Mither, max Tam gle owre at ance,
He's kittiin' wi his taes.''
The m1SchiefS in that Tam for tricks,
He'd bother half the toon;
But aye hap them up an say,
''Oh, bdirnieS, cuddle doonr
AT length they hear their fathers fit,
An as he steeks the door.
They turn their faces to the wa
While Tam pretends to Snore
"Hae a the weans been gude?" he asks.
AS he pits aft his shoon.
The bairnieS, John, are in their beds.
An lang since cuddled doom
An just before we bed oorsePs,
We look at DOR wee lambs;
Tam has his arm rOun' wee Rabs neck
An Rab his arm roun' Tam's.
lift wee Jamie up the bed,
An as L straik each Groom
/ whisper till my heart fills up,
on, bafrnteS, cuddle DOOM
The bairnies cuddle doom at NIGHT,