davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Lincoln's Modest Fee.

NJ. ID. Hardin, one of the oldest
Illinois lawyers, tells of an instance
where Mr.. Lincoln was retained To as
sist two other lawyers in the conduct
of n case of the greatest importance.
Il will not say now what the case was
said Mr.. Hardin, but it was one of the
greatest moment TO the State and of
Importance to the Nation. The decis-
ion arrived at grows more stupenouS
in its results every day. Even at the
time of its settlement those connected
with it knew it meant a great deal, and
the two men who had been his col
leagues consulted together after the
trial as to the amount of the fee to be
charged. They decided that 5000
was the least they could take, and
concluded to send their bill for that
amount. But they waited for Mr..
Lincoln and laid the case before him.
They asked him what he thought to
charge. He pondered over the matter
for time and finally said he thought
his share ought to be about $50. That
was, he thought, pretty good pay, cOn-
sidering that he had only given little
over day to the case.'
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
He Had a Snap.

Al was a stOckholder in the first rail-
road ever built in Oregon" said a veter-
an Wall street mar, ''and it was a
snap. The road was street in Port
land. IL was built in 1861, and road,
rolling stock and mules cost only q
little more than So, 600. 1t was 4 mile
long, and every man, woman and child
that rode that mile had to come down
with - cents. There were only six
Stockholders, and the first year We paid
for the road and divided nearly $50 90
in profits. We didn't know what a
good thing We had, and when, in 1854,
Ben Holiday offered Us $4,000 for
it, cash, we, like fools, went and sold
il to him. | wish had it ~
Neir York .Saa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
A Featherweight Skate.

One Of the most important of alumni
mum novelties Of the year, says the
World, is the invention of a New York
er. 1t is a racing skate that is almost
without weight and at the same time
sufficiently strong 10 stand the tremen-
dous pressure brought 10 bear by ska
tiers ambitious to break Donoghue's
record of mile in minutes L ID sec
onds.
The skate is composed of steel run
ner eighteen inches long, one-sixteenth
of an inch thick, and almost as thin
as the blade of knife. The blade is
supported by peculiar-shaped alumni
mum support, on top of which il light
strip Of mahogany, making a beautiful
and artistic skate. One Of the greatest
problems skate manufacturers have had
to contend with was the production
of skate with knife-like runner eigh-
teen or more inches in length, strong
and rigid, and yet light enough to
make their use practicable.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Happiness in Store.

A colOred man entered Woodward
avenue jewelry store yesterday with a
small silver watch in his hand, and
passing it to the repairer he curtly said:
''SSee what ails it."
''rhe handspring is gone" replied
the repairer as he opened the ease,
''and-"
''Dat's all right"
"And the jewels and"
''Dlt's all right"
"And most of the wheels"
''Dat's all right"
ain fact, there is only about one
quarter of the works left"
"Dat's all right. Kin it be iixed?''
mo"
SIS it wuth Ober a dollar"
"NO.u
"Dat's all right. Ize gwine to put il
de ole wOman's stOckin' fur Christ
mas. ."-DetrOH Free Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Presidents Who Joked Not.

Jackson was always aggressive, un-
compromising, serious
Tyler was cross, sour, unapproach-
able and irritable.
John Quincy \ dams was a Puritan
through and through, with a eaustic
and bitter wit, bat no humor.
John Adams was impulsive and
irascible, but too much in earnest ever
to be humorous.
Benjamin Harrison is credited with
having no sense Of humcr, although
ne does not object to a joke if the point
is explained to him.
Buchanan could never see the point
Of a JOKE and regarded all jesting As
ill-bFed. His strong point was digni-
Is and poiiteness-
Washington was the embodiment
OF gravity. II Is said that he seldom
smiled aud never laughed. \ man
was once so careles as to slap Wash
ington on the shoulder, and the poor
fellow was frozen stiff by tine icy stare
of bis Exce,lency.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
More Fruit, Less Beer.

Few persons would imagine that the
supply Of frIi. would in any way affect
the sale Of beer, but the brewers know
it. One Of tie big brewers was speak
ing of this recently. As soon as
there Is a plentiful supply of peaches
and such fruits in the market as there
has been this year" he said, cit makes
a difference to me of about four hun
drej barrels OF beer daily in my city
sales. You see, when a person can
buy peach on the street and eat il,
he will go for some time afterward
without becoming thirsty. But il is
not among the men that the most i'm
pOrtant difference occurs. 1t is in the
family, where the pint trade lies.
When fruit is cheap and plentiful the
women will eat that and satisfy their
longing for something 10 slake thirst
instead of sending out for pint Of
beer. The pint trade uses up beer very
rapidly, and this is where we feel the
difference in the fruit season. IN y.
Sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
What Not to do on Christmas.

In north Germany you must not spin
during the Il nights of Christmas, lest
you should walk after your death, nor
after sunset on Saturday, for then mice
will eat your work. Speaking of eat
ing, if you want TO have money and
luck all the year round, you must not
fail to eat herrings on New Years day,
nor. if you wish to be lucky, must you
rock an empty cradle, or spill salt
wantonly, or cross knives, or point at
the stars.
If you leave a dirty cloth on the
table overnight, you will r,ske the
angels weep; if you point upward to
the rainbow, you will make the angels
feet bleed, and if you talk of cabbages
while looking at the moon you will
hurt the feelings of the man in it, who
was cabbage stealer in his salad days.
Al the Year Round.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Presents for a Family.

Fond Mother-Here comes my dear
boy. Bless his precious heart. He has
been out all the morning buying Christ
mas presents with his own money for
the whole family. Well, pet, did you
have nice time?
Little Dick-Yes, indeed, mamma;
bought a paper Of pins for the cook and
some hairpins for You, and pocket
comb for pa, and brass collar for my
dog, and bell and ribbon for my kitty,
and a dram and trumpets and sled and
pair o. skates for my little brother.
"But you haven't any little brother. "
"Weil, may b. I'll have one before
Christmas. Ill don't, L can Use the
things myself. ."-SliOs dad Leather Re
lfic.r
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Old People.

Old people who require medicine to
regulate the-bowels and kidneys will
find the true remedy in Electric Bit
tiers. This medicine does not stimulate
and contains no whisky nor other
intoxieant, but acts as tonic and
alternative. 1t acts mildly on the
stomach and bowels, adding strength
and giving tone to the organs, thereby
aiding Nature in the performance ofthe
functions. Electric Bitters is an excel
lent appetizer and aids digestion. Old
People find it just exactly what they
need. Price fifty cents and Sl.O0 per
bottle at J. y. Snyder's drug store,
Somerset, Pa, or at Brallier's drug
store, Berlin, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Chance for a Linglist.

Language, they say, is constantly
changing, said the man who had II
job.
"I'm glad of it," returned the man
who was looking for one.
'Why?"
"Well, I'm something Of a linguist,
and if | can hang on long enough
perhaps can get a job retranslating
some of the translations of the old
authors ~ Cii-,tJg Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
A False Diagnosis.

La Grippe is confounded by many
persons with severe attack of catarrh,
which in some respects resembles the
former. These individuals suffer
severely with pain about the forehead,
eyes and ears, with soreness in threat
and stoppage of the nasal passages, and
in fact, are incapacitated for work of
any kind for days at time. These
are catarrhal sufferers. Ely's Cream
Balm has been used with the best
results in such eases. The remedy viii
give instant relief.
''rhe meanest man know of, y Jones
said, reilectively, sis in politics. He
doesn't know what honor is" "What
did he do ~ asked the listener. ale
bought votes on credit, aud after the
delivery of the goods repudiated the
obligation"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Bueklen'S Arnica Salve.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts.
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction or money refunded.
Price p cents per box. For sale at
J. y. Snyder's drug store, Somerset,
Pa, or at Brallier's drug store Berlin,
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Don'ts for the Hostess.

Don't dress to outshine your guests.
Don't convert a festive gathering
into an exhibition such rs uphOlsterers
and >ilversmiths make in their stores.
Don't talk about the servants.
Don't talk about the children.
Don't strive 10 ineulcate envy of your
belongings in the hearts Of your guests.
Don't address all your remarks TO
feminine ears when You are hostess To
men aud women both.
Don't invite more gnests than you
con comfortably entertain.
Never give your guests such enter
tainment as will entail poor fare upon
the family for week PiiiG-
e!e{Dhi,l Rec0r{
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
4 Great Opportunity Missed

The duradest case of snake-bite i
ever knewed Of said the man with
ginger beard, was fellar out in
Ioway that got bit by one Of them
prairie rattlers. Well, you know that
eff man drinhs enough whisky he
sees snakes, but this here fellar, bein'
bit by snake, imagincs he was full Of
whisky and bin drunk. Mex day
they run him out of flown
What for.' asked the grocer.
cause he kilt the snake, of course.
The darn fool could have made mint
OF money out'n that snake in Ioway ef
he only knowed it."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
A Mean Trick.

a certain married lady of Hope sat
up till II o'clock the other night wait
ing for her husband TO come home.
At last, weary and worn out with
waiting, she went to her bedroom to
retire and found the missing husband
there fast asleep. Instead of going
downtown, he had gone to his room.
She was so mad that she wouldn't
speak to him for a week.-Hope
Examiner.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Nothing Succeeds Like Success.

IL can be said without fear Of con-
tradiction that no medicine has had
greater success in curing Coughs, Colds,
Hoarseness and Consumption than
Pan-Tina. This celebrated remedy
stops coughing, soothes the throat and
lungs, and induces a good nights rest.
Hundreds can testify to the remarkable
and life-saving virtues Of this great
remedy Pan-Tina costs only % and
% cents.
Bottles sold at G. w. Benford's
drug store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
A BIT Of Mountain Philosophy.

From the Helena independent.
Drink, and the gang drinks, with
you; swear Of, and YOU go it alone;
for the bar room bum who driaks
your rum has quenehless thirst Of
his own. Feast, and your friends are
many; fast, and they cut you dead;
they'll not get mad if you treat them
bad, so long as their stomach is fed.
Steal, if you get a million, for then you
can furnish bail; it's the great big
thief that gets out on leave, while the
little one goes TO iaii.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
A Song Of Three P's.

Let me sing you a song Of three Ps,
That for work are - busy - bees;
They cnsCre yoI what's worth more than
wealth,
a most blessed abundance Of health.
The liver they invisoEtte,
and yet they do not s;s!ivate,
The bilious and dyspeptic, too,
They quickly make 10 feel like new;
And piles and constipation 90
Before this remedy you know.
But | will stop, for you have proba-
bly, guessed what l am driving at.
Who does not know that DR.. Pieree's
Pleasant Pellets cure all the COM
plants mentioned and many more.
sure, safe, pleasant
Once used, they are always in favor.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
A Liberal Old Uncle.

"Yes," said Mr.. Cash Byrpes to his
boon companion, ~ went to see Uncle
Bill, and as soon as / stepped in he
said: Il can see by the looks of you
what you want. You want to borrow
a couple of dollars Then he pulled
them out of his pocket and handed
them to me-"
Liberal old chappie," remarked the
friend enviously.
Liberal? l was just about to. touch
him for twenty, and he as good rs
knew it."-Ladidndpoiis Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
THE DYING YEAR.

My door stands open wide tonight,
In token ofa parting guest,
Whom twelve months since, with keen dc
light,
WELCOMED TO my homcly vest.
He stands there now, wan, wasted, old,
His race quite run, his mission DER,
And when the midnight hour is toIled,
We part, 10 meet ON Garth no more.
He came TO me in merry guise,
With hopes and promises not few.
All. who could look within those eyes
And deem that they were all untrue,
But expectations all have fed,
The promises are broken, too.
The hopes lie withered, crushed and dead
Not one OF all but proved untrue.
And there he stands, decrepit, wan,
Who came TO me a merry elf,
few sands more he will be gone,
And with him gone part OF myself
So come and go the passing years
That bear US 10 the silent sea,
But bright with smiles or dim with tears,
They come in love, dear Lord, from thee.
Christian Work.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Two Valuable Friends.

l. a physician cannot be always had.
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sprains,
Bruises and Burns occur often and
Sometimes when least expected. Keep
handy the friend of many households
and the destroyer of all pain, the
famous Red Flag Oil, y cents.
?. Many precious life could be
saved that is being racked to death
with that terrible cough. Secure a
good nights rest by investing y cents
for bottle of Pan-Tina, the great
remedy for Coughs, Colds and Con-
sumption.
Bottles of Pan-Tina sold at G.. w.
Benford's drug store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01

There is Christmas east and Christ
mas west, Christmas north and Christ
mas south, but whether amid the snow
or the roses it is the same dear festival.
/ have spent Christmas in st. Angus
tine and San Diego, in Boston and
Chicago, and Santa Claus was the
same jolly old gentleman in all four
places. es.-Unidentified Philosopher.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01

time TO shrek an Intellectual summons
to the pair in the fast receding boat.
'It,s no USE" said Aunt Dora, draw
ing a long breath. "When a girl is in
love, she is neither to hold nor to bind.
I've done the best / could. Mehetabei
cantt blame me ~
Two hours later Muriel walked into
the old brown rooted house OH the
shore, leaning on Paul Clifton's arm.
Mother" said she to the amazed
Mrs. Vane, who fully believed that she
was directing her weird" in the solitary
lighthouse tower, 81 am married. And
this is my husband. Will you forgive
us, please? For lam so very, very hap
py to-day that do not want living
soul to be at variance with me ~
And so Muriel signed her declaration
of independence, and became Paul Cliff
toms wife upon this glorious sunshiny
New Years day. And Mrs. Vane and
Aunt Dora were compelled to confess
themselves outwitted and to accept
their defeat with as good grace as pos
sible.
Fate is fate" said Aunt Dora grim
ly.
"And wash my hand of the whole
concern" said Mrs. Vane.
But Paul and Muriel were serenely
happy. And what mattered aught
else ?-NeU York Ledger.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Deaf Two Years, Restored.

My grand daughter Ethel Moore
had been very deaf for two years, every
cold making her worse, until she could
hear only very loud conversation. She
also had catarrh of the nose and throat.
DIR. Sadier, St4 Penn Avenue, Pitts
burg, began to treat her in June, 1884,
and in two months had her completely
well. IL is now over year and her
throat and head are still perfectly clear
and her hearing as good as ever.
ROBERT SMITH,
Stene Tavern, 35th Ward,
Pittsburg, Pa.
DIR. Sadler will return from his
vacation, Dee. 18th. Take advantage
of the Holiday Excursions to visit him.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
The Baby in the West.
From the Portland oregonIan.

4 rom tht iOftGtlI OftIDul1iu-
The Oregohfaa has awarded a $50
prize for the best definition Of a baby.
The Heppner lady who won the prize
sent in this answer: "a tiny feather
from the wing Of love, dropped into
the sacred lap Of Motherhood"
The following are some Of the best
definitions given:
The bachelors horror, the mothers
treasure, and the despOtie tyrant Of the
most republican household.
The morning caller, the MONDAY
crawler, midnight brawler.
The only precious possession that
never excites envy.
The latest edition of humanity-of
which every couple think they poss-
sess the finest copy.
\ native Of all countries who speaks
the language Of none.
About twenty-five inches Of coo and
wiggle, writhe and scream, filed with
suction and testing apparatus for milk,
ana AUTOMATIC alarm 10 regulate
supply.
a thing we are expected to kiss and
look As if we enjoyed it.
A little stranger, with free pass to
the hearts best affections.
That which makes home happier,
love stronger, patience greater, hands
buster, nights longer, days shorter,
purses lighter, clothes shabbier, the
past forgotten, the future brighter.
Consumption is the natural result Of
a neglected cold. Dr. Woods Norway
Pine Syrup cures coughs, bronchitis,
asthma, and lung troubles of all sorts
down 10 the very borderland Of con-
sumption.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
You Can Believe

The testimonials published in behalf
of Hoods Sarsaparilla- They are
written by honest people, who have
actually found in their own experience
that Hoods Sarsaparilla puriiies the
blood, creates an appetite, strengthens
the system and absolutely and per-
manently cures all diseases caused by
impure or deficient blood.
Hoods Pills for the liver and bowels,
act promptly easily and effectively.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01

Man wants but little here below, and
generally gets less.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
Doctors and nurses
Make slender purses;
The road To health
Is the way 10 wealth.

Many persons of slender means have
seen the savings of years swallowed up
in few weeks by exorbitant doctor
bills. Serious illness and its result,
heavy bills, may almost be prevented
if taken in time. When the system
seems to be run down, the blood weak
and impure. causing eruptions, head
ache, weakness and lassitude, backache,
scrofula, biliousness, chills, aversion TO
work, etc, there is reason for belief
that serious illness is threatened. a
bottle of DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery will drive the impurities
from the system, enrich the blood,
bringing sound health, energy, strength
and ambition. All dealers in medi-
cine.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
OUR ENTIRE CLOAK STOCK i:

Jackets, Fur and
Cloth Capes.
MuffS all marked down.
All our DRESS GOODS stock
marked down.
Flannels and Blankets at
reduced prices.
Special Bargains in WOolen
Underwear for Men. Ladies
and Children.
Do you want to furnish your
House,
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
.ISIT FURNITURE WANT?

Then this IS the place TO find it; two
entire floors filled with Furniture for
Parlor, Bedroom, Dining-room, Kitch-
en- at lowest prices, and q special dis
count of 10 per cent. during this smonth
TO reduce stock.
Remember we have two entire floors
filled with China, Porcelain and all
kinds of crockery. Handsome Toilet
Sets, Dinner and Tea Ware, both in
French and English ware.
Everything wanted in the kitchen,
in granite, tin, wooden or wire ware;
also Stoves and Ranges, and Gas or
Oil Heating Stoves.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01

or any part OF il: Now Is your chance
our immense stock of Carpet at your
service, and not only ct greatly rcduc-
ed prices, bat we viii make, lay and
line it for nothing at any reasonable
distance from Pittsburgh.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
TWILL CURE

A particle IS applied into each onstril and Is
agreeable. Price 30 cents at druggists or by
mil
Ely BROTHERS, 55 Warren street y. Y.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01
P. S.--LadieS' Muslin Under
wear,

Come to this, the greatest January sale
of Muslin Underwear this house ever
attempted. -Four of the best manu-
facturers in the country represented.
Prices the lowest ever known.
Don't forget our mail order depart
ment. Samples sent and mail orders
promptly attended to.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-01-01

Aunt Dora got to the window just in
The oasis., 1896-10-03
Tree Pills.

Send your address to II. k. Bucklen & Co.,, Chicago, and get free sample box of Dr. Kings New Life Pills. A trial will convince you of their merits. These pills are easy in action and are particularly effective in the cure of constipation and sick headache. For malaria and liver troubles they have been proven invaluable. They are guaranteed to be perfectly free from every deleterious substance and to be purely vegetable. They do not weaken by their action, but by giving tone to stomach and bowels greatly invigorate the system. Regular size 9 cents per box. Sold by Chenoweth & Mix, druggists.
The evening times., 1896-04-03
Dry Dock at League Island.

for our largest battlcships. 1t Will be re-
membered, a Iso, that the Messrs. Cramp re-
fused to dock one of the ships they had built
at Port Royal, but preferred TO send it TO
Halifax and have the necessary work done
there.
This is an anomalous condition or al
fairs for nation that is Just entering
upon a progressive policy in respect or
its navy, and one that should be permitted
TO exist no longer than the nece ssary
remedy can he applied. If we have big
ships we must have places where they
can be repaired and overhauled. and no
ill-advised economy should stand in the
way of appropriations for so urgent
purpose. IL is to be hoped, therefore
that senator Quay will succeed in push
ing his bill through rapidly, and il ought
TO be followed by others making pro-
visions for the construction OF suifi-
cient number OF dry docks on the Atlantic
and Pacific coasts. The United states
should not be compelled to let its vessels
become fouled, or serd them TO some dis
tant port to be put in proper condition for
effective service.