The record-union., 1896-09-20


rived tired and hungry.
Il am glad to see you, B." said I
holding out my hand to him. "But I
do not think l need your professional
help
I turned to look at him as 1 spoke.
and felt that my eyes must have belied
my lips.
What is the matter Newton?" said
he; "are you in pain? You seemed to
start when you looked at me-
1t was very difficult to tell him.
could not tell him that he seemed to me
grinning skeleton with a complete set
of false teeth and pince-nez. Yet that
would have been the simple truth. He
seemed to me a framework of living
bones with few metal buttons, like
satellites of planet, unconnected and
yet attached.
He was somewhat corDulent man,
and the way in which his handsome
watch and chain lowered, as it were,
several inches in front of his ribs was
peculiarly ludicrous. 1t was horrible
and CHASTITY sight. But the absurdity of
this grotesque collection of bones being
an eminent London physician so tickled
my fancy that broke into a loud laugh,
which even to my own ears sounded
like the laugh Of maniac. When /
looked at b was not overcome by
the horror which l felt at seeing my
wife and children in this manner. In
the case of my friend it was the ridicu-
lous side of the picture which affected
me most. He did not understand the
cause of my merriment. 1 could see by
his attitude that he was beginning to
take my case seriously.
Newton" he said, in a grave voice,
you are not we'll, and I must insist on
your being calm and quiet. Let me feel
your purse
/ put out my hand and when I saw
the skeleton with it's false teeth and
gold pince-nez holding my skeleton
wrist with one bony hand, while in the
other 1t held a watch at which it ap-
peared to gaze attentively, I threw
myself back on the pillow and fairly
screamed with laughter. He was a
handsome. we'll hammered man, and
had large practice among the fashion
able ladies of London. How many of
these fair patients would consult him,
thought 1, if he appeared to them in this
guise? Not many of those, at least, who
suffered from nerves. To him my laugh
must have sounded absolutely inept
What on earth was there to laugh at?
From the tone of his voice l gathered
that he was alarmed for me. We had
known each other long, and were close
friends.
Newton" he said gravely, you
must compose yourself. Your wife has
told me how you have been working
for months, and how this attack came
on. l must order you to keep perfectly
quiet, and to remain in bed until I
give you leave to get up. You will
have an attack Of brain fever and lose
your life, perhaps worse, unless you
obey me. Dear Mrs. Newton" he said,
turning to my wife, leave US for a few
minutes. I should like to have some
conversation with your husband
When she had gone, B came and
sat down in chair beside me. I was
compelled to shut my eyes, as the ap-
pearance of this solemn specialized
skeleton bending over me with that
professional bedside manner which the
physician has, or acquires, was more
than my sense Of humor could stand.
About the man as he was in the flesh,
there was nothing absurd, but the skel-
eton, and especially the skull, had an
air Of priggish conceit that moved me
to assault him. He felt my pulse again
and examined me carefully with a
stethoscope, took my temperature,
looked at my tongue and questioned
me closely as to the state Of my health.
Then he began, evidently of purpose,
to discuss current events and every
Gay topics. 1t required all the self
control of which l was capable to look
at him and keep my countenance while
this was going on. The solemn move
mentS Of the physician skeleton were
sublimely burlesque. I could see that
he was fairly puzzled. At last, after
all the tappings and touchings and
auscultations were over
well. Newton" he said, II cannot
see that there is anything bodily wrong
with you, except that you are rather
run down from too much work and
too little air and exercise. But from
the account your wife has given me,
and from what / have seen of you, /
am not at all satisfied about you. You
appear to be in a very eXcitable state,
love come near you, and at other
times to attacks of causeless laughter.
What do you find so ludicrous in me.
or SO horrible in your wife and chill
dren? I cannot understand your case,
unless you are either feigning madness
"a supposition which, as regards you,
is impossible-or suffering from one of
those hallucinations or delusions with
which nature Furnishes us for overtax-
ing our brain power. Now that your
wife has left the room, tell me Why
her appearance causes you to shrink
from her. You can rely on my dis
cretion.''
my dear fellow" said I, there is no
mystery about it except nature. the
mystery Of all mysteries. 1 have made
wonderful discovery"
And l told him the history Of the
| matter from the experiment on the
dog up to his arrival l could see that
he thought my mind had gone astray.
and did not believe word I was saw
Ing.
MY dear B. I said, sT see YOU
think l have lost my senses and that I
ann talking nonsense. I admit that l
have been working too much and be-
came very excited by my experiments.
My nerves are no doubt overstrung,
otherwise I should not have been so
much disturbed by what I have seen.
But as to the facts, what 1 have told
you is the simple truth. Indeed, in
scme respects it is less than the truth.
as words cannot convey to you more
than very imperfect idea of the kind
of world into which I have plunged.