Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1896-09-28

y
A Receiving Teller "A gossinb.
woman.-Texas Siftings.
Clara-Isn't your love for him ye,,
sudden? Well, his aunt da
very suddenly.-Life.
She-I wonder what is 'the old os
story?" He-You are the first Girl
ever loved Indianapolis Journal.
Something to Grow About.-Pn
Rooster Well, what do you think a
my wife? Second Rooster-Very chic
New York Press.
Don't you know it is wrong to fish
here on private grounds? "Well, Sir
the line must be drawn somewhere
-Yonkers Statesman.
Shaw-What would you recommend
for insomnia, doctor? Doctor-Do some
thing to tire you. Shaw-But can't
afford to take vacation.-Truth.
Tired Souls.-Irksome Ike-Say, Sam.
ME, how'd yer like to be an ANGEL
Sam'l Fewcloze-Not er bit Think q
the work it'd take to keep yer wings
fiappin' Up-to-Date.
''How intense are the fires of love~
calculated the poet. eyes" answered
the father of six manageable daugh.
tiers, "but they do take lot of coal"
London Me-Up.
Little Johnny opened his drum yes
terday to find where the noise came
FROM did he find out?" Eyes; when
his father came home the noise came
from little Johnny" Life.
Rubbing It In.-Cora-Why do you
think women are frivolous? Merritt
Because when a girl makes an enemy
of man for life she always tells him
that they can still be friends.-Puck.
IT cannot be your wife, 'Algy There
is too great a difference between our
fortunes" But, Mabel, I'm sure there
would be no difference between them if
we could bring them together" Life.
THE giraffe has a tongue eighteen in
ches long," said Mrs. Garrill. "And
knows how to hold it, too,'' snapped Mr.
Garrill, who had had a long curtain
lecture the night before-Harpers Ba-
Ear.
Becoming Blonde. -She-This novel
list writes of his heroine as a tall girl
with becoming blonde hair. Hell sup
pose he means by that that she was
having it ached.-Cincinnati En-
Quirer.
Your husband painted the house
this spring himself, didn't hep" well,
yes; suppose he got some of the paint
on the house, but you wouldn't think
so if you could see his clothes. But
falo News.
Had to Keep Steady.-"Did you feel
nervous and tremble when Bikeleigh
proposed?" NO; | didn't dare TO-"
Didn't dare top mo. You see, We
were riding a tandem at the time. -
London Truth.
Young Wife-Oh, John, the rats have
eaten all my angel cake. Husband
What! All Of it? Young Wife-Every
piece! l feel like crying. Husband
oh, pshaw! Don't cry over few rats
Harlem Life.
Johnny has quit talking about want
ing to be pirate and wallow in gore
! notice" Eyes; he finds enough salts
faction Of that sort right here at home
in scorching around the corners. Ill
dianapolis Journal.
Hannah, what are you standing
there staring at me for? Didn't | tell
you / was not to be interrupted unless
the house was on fire?" "Well, mum,
that's it. 1t do be burning this half
ur."-Indianapolis Journal.
what poor shoppers the men are
exclaimed Mrs. Trotter on her way
home from a shopping expedition. "My
husband hardly ever pays less than
10 cents for a cigar, and here | have
bought a whole box for 75."-Boston
Transcript.
What are you looking for? We've
got everything worth taking" II am
looking The other burglar con-
tinued his search. for the mucn
larger booty which the newspaper to-
morrow will say we overlooked. liar
per's Bazaar.
Mother-Mamma's darling must
never use the word pants" 1t is very
vulgar. The Child two hours later
oh, mamma! Just look at Fido; he's
been running in the garden with me
and see how he-he-bloomer !-Phli
adelphia North American.
S'Sweet one, l love you he whisper
ed to his partner at the masquerade
II should think you would" she re
piled, seeing that | am your wife
Didn't l know it, darling? Whal
other woman do you think | Woulo
say that to?'-Boston Courier.
BilIings-I'ye got safe job now. MY
employer can't possibly fire me. Polb
Why? You don't mean to say thai
you have your employer in compro
missing position: Biilings-No exact
ly; but YOU see am working for al
asbestos Philadelphia Nortl