Eagle River Democrat. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1893-1896, 1896-07-27
FACTS AND FANCIES.
IN THE MOONLIGHT.

IL
She smiled at me as she swiftly passed,
Over the handle-bar;
That sunny smile was the maidenS last,
Over the handle-bar;
She carromed hard on a cobblestone,
She took header she couldn't postpone
Her twinkling heels in the moonlight shone
Over the handle-bar.
Philadelphia News.
Tiny Tim-"What is meant by the
'sere and yellow leaf pap
Papa-'I don't quite know, but l
fancy it's the kind they make cheap
cigars Of
Very Encouraging. Her Father
"Has my daughter ever offered you any
encoura gement!'
Suitor- "Oh, yes, sir! She said if
married her she'd work you for the
rent"
Mrs. Marklane-"N1y husband says
that we must economic; all his securi-
ties are dropping lower every day."
Mrs. Malaprop-"Mine are all right, |
know / keep them in the safe at the
bank"
Disappointed Reporter-''But don't you
think the article would do if | boiled it
DOWN.
Editor "No, | am quite sure it
wouldn't; but I should try the action of
heat on it in another way, if ] were
YOU"
Little Granny, go down on
your hands and knees for a minute,
please
Fond Grandmother What am to do
GLADYS "'Cause l want to draw an
elephant"
DO you think it is ladylike for a
woman to ride a -bicycle?' she inquired.
Yes" he replied, unless she insists
on riding like gentleman"
Striking Repartee Why" said the
match, with some warmth, do you make
light of me?"
Because" answered the man, Il like
to see you flare up"
''Now that I have your consent, my
charming Bessie, allow me to ask one
question, are you superstitious? "Su-
perstitious? Why do you want to know,
Frank" II cannot tell you before you
have answered my question" ''Well,
then, | am not superstitious in the
least" He (overjoyed) -'Then [ may
tell you with an easy conscience that
you are my thirteenth sweetheart. q
Neue Fliegende Blaetter.
''No, said the tall, blonde one. Il do
not like her, because she is so dramatic
in her ways"
''She is no such thing!' said the petite,
brunette one, rallying to the defense of
the absent ''She has been married to
the same man for more than ten years.
Dramatic in her ways, indeed!'
The assembled persons had to admit
that the point was well made.-Clncln-
natl Enquirer.
THE SCORCHER.
The "scorcher' went tearing down the road,
Setting a pace to cause regret;
He met farmers heavy load,
Died, and may be scorching yet.
Chicago Dispatch.
A 16 to Town-"Is this a 16 to
town." asked the drummer. ut air
on Sunday answered the native. ION
Sunday?" 'sYas. Sixteen goes fshin
to one goin' to church"
Collector account must be set
tied, Mr.. Shorts. It has been running
long time
"Well. let it stand awhile. Truth.
Nell-"Were you and Mr.. Bjones
thrown together very much last sum-
mer?"
Belle-EWell, we used to ride tan
dem bike "-Philadelphia Record.
"Dah's only one ting wassn de hot
weather" said Uncle Eben, ''an' dat's
de man dat won talk bout muffin else"
Washington Star.
PETERS WIFE.
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a, wife and couldn't keep her,
He hid her boomers, bike and bell,
And then he kept her very well.
Chicago Record.
1t is all very we'll to be able to say
the right thing at the right time; but it
is a good deal better to be able to re-
frain from saying the wrong thing at
the wrong time-Boston Transcript.
THE PERSISTENT SCORCHER.
You may break, you may shatter
His bones if you will,
But the scorcher will hang Ger
The handle bars still.
Cleveland Leader.
H.
NATIVE boarder, ''who was so fat that he
was actually taller lying down than
when he was standing up. What do you
think of that?' cit strikes me-" said the
cheerful idiot, "as pretty tall lying.
Indianapolis Journal.
OUTFIT COMPLETE.
Mary got a little bike,
When to that length she'd gone.
She likewise wed, that she might have
A man to hold her on.
Detroit Tribune.
She-''It seems strange that men are
no longer willing to do deadly combat fer
the love of a woman" He-"Ain't 1t
queer, though? Especially when women
have so much more money of their own
these ysv'-Indianapolis Journal.
The latest story OF German thrift is
told at the expense of the proprietor of
a circulating library, who charged for
the wear and tear suffered by his books
at the hands of his patrons. One vol
ume came back to his scrutiny. ''See
here" he exclaimed, ''there is a hole on
page nineteen Of my beautiful book.
And see here" he went on. turning over
the leaf, there is another on page
twenty
1t lis not generally known that the
word "dollar" appears in Shakespeare's
works, being used in Measure for Meas
ure," written in 1903, in Act L., Scene 2.
ITO three thousand dollars year." in
Macbeth written in 1906, Act l., Scene
2, where burial is refused to Sweno's
men until '"Ten thousand dollars to our
general use'' have been paid.-St Louis
Globe-Democrat.
Power from Wells.
Snmn nntnrnriSin cnmnaninC nrn on