The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-08-17
A YARN By PHILOSOPHER DOOLEY
He Recalls a Hot Day when the sun
Burned the Thatch.

rom the chicago POST.
What's tn use iv thrying TO keep
eool?'' said Mr.. DOoley. discontentedly,
hopping his head with a towel in a way
that certainly did not diminish his tenn
perature. WHATS tn use iv thrying to
keep cool? I'm going TO have me bed
made up in tn ice box, an r-run a small
hose over 10 tn kag. 1 am that"
Archey road on that hot evening was
all abroad. The people lay out on their
front stOopS or on the shingled roofs
which had been drenched with hydrant
water, and as the night wore on and II
became decent to parade a bed, here and
there some tortured citizen drew mat
tress to the open hall of his house, and
IN plain view Of the pOpulace lay him
down in troubled sleep.
It's no use thrying to keep cool" Mr.
Dooley repeated. This is tn hottest
weather that liver blew out Nv tn mouth
" hell when an Apeea was bein enter
tanned"
IT'S hot, tubby sure" said Mr. Hem
messy VINO was lOlllng across three chairs
and tanning himself with his hat. 1t
reminds me iv tn hot weather we wanst
had in tn OF country on Lady day.
Dye min drhat, Martin, in fOrty-threeE'
Forty three?" cried Mr.. Dooley, why,
me buck-o. that was befure L was bOr-rn 80
Martin said Mr.. Hennessy. ''ye shud
not be lynn so in this hot weather. Amy
exercise, DR.. O'rOOle tells me, however
accustomed We ARE to it. is bad f'r
OF people in this heat. No wan liver ex-
pected very warm weather on Lady
day, but this year 1t blew in as though
tn divil had left open tn dure iv the fur
mace. At tin o'clock in tn mornin' TIL
sun shtud overhead as big as a washtub
an red as ye-er face at this minyit. My
father had TO pour water on tn thatch
to Keep It firm burnin, an while he was
at Wurruk tn shirt on his back puffed
into a flame like a match an left him
naked fri tn waist up. He wasn't hurt
ed, though, f'r tn heat was so intince
tn shirt was gone befure tn flames cud
touch his back At noon / had to 20 out
in tn field and shake cracked ice over the
potatoes. While l was there wan iv our
pigs thatd got roasted come through
Smokin' like a sthraWstack. My mother,
rest her soul, wint to tn ice box FIR to
get some prairie chickens"
Some what?" demanded Mr.. Dooley, an
grily.
some prairie chickens" replied Mr..
HenneSsey, stoutly.
What dye thing iv him?' Mr.. Dooley
asked Mr.. McKenna.
Il think" said Mr. McKenna, that the
heat has boiled the things in his thought
bin"
BE that as it may" said Mr.. Hennes-
sey, languidly Pm goin' down to see Bill
Bryan tomorrow night, an hear him talk
an give him tn glad nit"
us Bryan comm p Mr.. Dooley asked.
Sure he is said Mr.. McKenna.
Thin that explains it," said Mr.. DoOley.
Explains what?"
"Th' heat. What else cud cause It?
TIL nearer he comes tn hotter il gets.
Willum Joyce toll me he'd BURN up tn
country an he's dom it. Whin he whit
on his las thrip tn CORN took fire in tn
fields, an tn stacks was all flamin' like
so nanny torches. TIL milne r-run oIt
Nv fuel an Bryan had to go ford an talk
into tn boiler. He whispered tin wurruds
an tn safety-valve was wrenched Every
place he stopped tn fire department turn
ed out an played on tn audience durn'
| his speech. He fell into a conversation in
tn car with goal bug an melted tn
brass chandeliers. He did so. Whin he
put his head out iv tn window wanst 10
hail a man he see goin' by tn air was fun
iV live Goals an a livery stable in Oconto
BURNED up with all on boord. Lately,
FIR reasons iv public safety, he's been
talkin through a cake iv ice, but even
Where's he goin' to speak?"
"On tn lake 'front.'
"Why don't they have him speak fr' IN
tn crib?" said Mr. Dooley. That's tn
on'y safe course. They oughtnt to Let
him come too near tn buildings down.
town I'll bet We he'll melt tn dures iv
tn Audjutoroom off their hinges an burn
the legs firm tn statute iv Columbus
wudden't mind if he BURNED tn whole
thing, but tn rights iv property must be
protected. Think iv tn setback to civil
lization II wan iv his hot wur-rds was
to fall on tn Chicago Club an desthroy
that summary Nv larnin'! Glory be- it d
be a cr-rime!
But I suppose you'll go to hear him?'
Mr. McKenna asked.
I'll go, bedad," said Mr.. Dooley, 'if I
have to rint an asbestos coat an carry a
Babcock fire-extingu usher"