The morning times., 1896-04-02

Old Probabilities opened She fourth month
of the year with boat as ugly, sloppy, mean
a dav as ne has contributed to the dISa gree
able score of 1896.
Probs is not baseball fan. That is
evident IL is a matter OF history that ne
both reignS and rains on the Fourth or July
and invariably dampenS the atmosphere ana
everything else on thatand similar occasions.
National Park was an inland sea yester-
day and could have been used only Tor the
game of water polo.
The Senators spent the da yquietly in their
rooms not yrnturing out for fear OF getting
Charley-horSe III The pores opened Dy tne
vigorous practice Tuesday
Jovce found "A checker board and tnveigled
Crooks into game. Crookscanplaysecohu
ba Sc great deal better than he can draughts
and joyce had him going for the tlnie the
unequal contest was waged.
Crooks. in the course OF several games
got enc man TO the king row and he made
as much a doover the eX plot aSirhe had been
on The front end of double steal.
CHICKENS NOT HIS LINE.
joyce kept the gaff deep in his victim
all the time and a the close of the last
game after he had jumped six of Crooks
buttons off the hoardatone pass, Scrappy
remarked Scornfully: You play checkers
a bout as fast as Dan Brouthers runs bases.
Never mind about my checker game,
relorted Jack. ANY fool guy can learn
the crazy quilt game if his noodle doesn
aspire higher ana he can find no better use
for his time.
Il wasn't raised on checkers or whist
or ranythinglikethat ana you know whatyou
would get at nom" il YOU proposed checkers
at a Kerry Patch social
They wouldn't do Thing but hang
window sash around your neck and fresco
Ill 4 SfaH
that you insisted on such a game with me
and am going To write home and tell the
folks about your habits here in Washington.
II Won think yOuarethe hottest thlnEthat
ever happened, get down on the floor
here and call my bets With the bones.
/ ma not be able to get into the king row
or Jump forty wa vs. over a board. nut can
Seven-eleven fast enough To separate YOU
from your first months salary before the
lunch bell rings"
TOM BROWN A CUBAN
Il don't want to play in your yard"
! hummed Scrappy, in an eXasperating voice
/ and Crooks went out and hired boot
/ black to swear an hour for him by the
watch.
You know that Tom Brown looks like
Cuban said Charley Abbey. His
bright black eyes, coal black hair, and
swarthy complexion gives him the appear
/ anceor a native of the Queen of the Antilles.
Tom tells the Joke on himself.
He was sitting in front of the Gait
| House I'm Louisville a few days prior
10 his departure for Washington, when
/ q stranger approached him and asked
| if he didn't want 10 JOIN the Cuban army.
! No said Tom, my season commences
! at Washington in a few days and the
! battle Will be about as hard as any
/ anti-Spanish grCaser would want
My old friend, Red Ehret is having
a big time at New Orleans with the CinCin-
natl Club chIrped Joyce. Red hung
me up once on fire escape, but ] forgavc
him long ago and will manifest my personal
regard for him this sea son by knocking
! home runs off of him every chance ] get.
] am like brother TO Red and want TO
| see him do well.
TAKEN FOR FITZ.
Down in New Orleans for q number
| of days past he has had small boys and
! large ones gaping after him with eyes
| wide open and wonder and admiration de-
picted in every lne of their countenance $.
| II happened in this way: Ehret. Vaughn
and Goodwin were walking down st.
Charles street late one day recently, and
| Red happened TO think of a paper he
wanted TO purchase.
He entered the St. Charles Hotel il
! search of II, leaving Vaughn and Good win
| standing outside. couple OF young
sters who had been walking behind asked
the farmer if the gentleman who had jus,
gone into the hotel was FitZsmmouS.
vaughn answered that il was, and
after taking good look at Ehret as he
came out, the pair OF urchins trotted of
TO tell their other friends. 1t was but
a short time before a crowd of boys, both
| big and little, were following the hot
haired twirler all about the city"
| Vamey Anderson was the seventee ntt
Senator 10 put in an appearance. Varne!
arrived Tuesday night from Rockford, III
The quiet pitcher has gained flesh since
last season. aud looks strong enough tt
take his two turns week regularly il
the box.
1t Will be remembered that Anderson
is a close score pitcher. His l to o
thirteen inning game, against Brooklyn
la year was one of the seasons remark
able records.
Mr.. Wagner says he will not insist or
Boswell reporting, which leaves Jimmy
McJames the only missing player. Nc
James is expected today.