Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-03-12
AN IMPECUNIOUS ONE.
THE SOLD GAME or BLUFF HE PLAYED
ON THE CONDUCTOR.


but = Bank clerk-According TO the
Man who Tells the story. He Ought 10
BE an Actor oh. 1t Was wickedi
He sat in hotel smoking room. The
mir was blue, but men We're happy
happy and reminiscent. He stretched
ont his legs, thrust his hands deep into
his pockets, and between the puffs spun
this yarn:
For dead cold. icy nerve had al
ways thought we travelling men took the
cake. But the prettiest game Of bluff |
ever saw was put up by man who was
neither drummer nor reporter, but
merely an overworked bank clerk who
had applied for leave of absence and
gone south 10 recuperate. He had drawn
a certain sum for the trip and resolved
not to exceed it. FoOlishly he had neg
lected TO buy an excursion ticket, argu-
ing that he might want 10 return by a
different route. And then, as a matter
of course, be found that he had spent his
money not wisely but too well, so that
he was hundreds of miles from home,
ticketless and friendless and we'll nigh
penniless. His checkbook was useless,
for no one knew him and he must be
identified.
Gail this | learned later ON. My ac-
quaintance with him began ON the train
of one of the southern roads. when he
asked me TO stake him enough to see
him home. / had already been touched
several times that trip, so, expressing ev-
cry confidence in his probity, | declined
the honor he would do me. He tried
several other passengers with a like re-
suit. Then he gave it mp, but made rs
all promise not to interfere with any
game he tried to play.
Presently the conductor came along.
The impecunious one, his hat cooked
over one eye, was peacefully sleeping IN
one corner of his seat, leaning toward
an open window. The conductor shook
him, gently at first, so that he stirred,
and his hat dropped farther over his
eye, but he did not wake. Then more
roughly, saying, Come, sir, your ticket,
please.
"At that the impecunious one awoke
with big start. His hat few out of the
window, and he flew into great rage.
He swore at the conductor and abused
him up and down, him and his fore
fathers unto the third and fourth gener-
alton. What did he mean by waking
him in that way? Didn't he know that
rest was invaluable to an invalid? That
such sudden, rude awakening might be
fatal to a weak heart? Were his nerves
of no account? And now he had lost his
hat and would catch cold 1t was out.
rageous.
1.-The conductor bowed before the
storm, and when it had somewhat abat-
ed offered to replace the hat at the first
stopping place. And now, sir, let me
see your ticket, please.
"The impecunious one felt in all his
pockets, went through them all again
with bewildered air. Finally he broke
out why, you idiot, you, all my tick
cts, not only on this road, but straight
through to Chicago, We're in the lining
of my hat, and you knocked it out OF
the window. I'm in pretty pickle
now. haven't enough with me to buy
a fresh set This piece of idiocy will
cost you your job. I'll report you to the
company and teach you to be more care
full how you startle a nervous man.
1.-THE conductor tried to soothe him,
offered to take him through to the end
of the division. But the impecunious
one would not be appeased. Much good
it would do him to be landed in some
little nearby, one horse southern town
hundreds of miles from nowhere He
wanted to get through to Chicago. He
must get through He had an appoint
ment there that was worth thousands OF
dollars. Finally the conductor, by this
time badly frightened, promised to get
him tickets or passes all the way
through, and the impecunious one sub
sided. And to the end of that road the
conductor, having replaced the dear de-
parted hat, maintained an humbly apol-
ogetic tone that would have wrung tears
of blood from stone.
land it was only bluff all so we'll
carried out that the conductor was
completely taken in, and the rest of us
rubbed our eyes and wondered whether
the impecunious ones attempt to touch
us was not, after all, dream.
Later on, travelling over that same
road, told the conductor how he had
been worked. And he said he knew it,
for shortly after that trip he had receiv-
ed letter and a check, the former con-
Tossing the fraud, the latter paying him
the full price of the passage And he
added: That fellow was genius. If he
had made fuss at first about his tick
cts, I'd have been on to him in min
ute, but his tickets were forgotten. 1t
was his nerves, his health, his heart. his
hat that were of Importance. And to
think that he had no nerves. or health.
or hat-or heart. Oh, it was wicked
But that man has missed his vocation.
He ought to be on the stage. "-Chica-
go Tribune
A Little Bit Hasty.
Doctor, " said a distressed wife tc