The herald., 1896-02-03

'.say, dis fiesta fandanao tastes kind Of
oiive-like to me-" remarked the deputy
zapjero, as no rendered an I. o. o. to bis
friend, the assistant chief of the FIRE de-
partment, for $3.50 with one hand, while
in the other he jingled lovingly the coin
he had obtained in exchange. "I'm asin'
dat picnic on principle 'caufe de ideas
heathin, like St. Patrick's day on Christ.
mas. De genovine Americans like me an
Ole Grubb of de school board wus long
ago sidetracked forninst all celebrations,
'ceptin dc Fourth of July. Dis fiesta
games kind of like athletic club
strong suit. 1t goes in de bleach
ers, which is de crowd as are always
a-scrappin' where de cost Is nit and de red
fire is plenty, but de Simon pure patriot
like meself takes his freejoles in Sonora
town, al' Caballero cigarettes always
makes me hunt morphine injection. 1t
won't do of course to roar too strong about
dis ting. cause dat would draw de wrath OF
de Merchants 'sociation down aRin de ad.
rlinistration, but between you an me an
de chamber of commerce, de next time we
has a mayor, which III be p. d. O., now
quick, de town III only 60 a-hastin' when
its been q monstrous dry year an lnde-
pendence day falls on Sunday"
''Dis felier Pat Reuski. whose comm to
town dis week. What kind of hazel nut
is he! Dey say he amt Irish, but his
names agin' him. Why don't he wear his
hiar Hammam style, instead of Rrowin'
his whiskers on de top of his head? Dey
say he kin tumpt de rheumatic out of .
piano, easy as Gavin councilmen down
de bank, an he taxes two hundred cents
for the privilege of hypnotizin' you from
la a<yal arr a nj In
be hired to razoo de cash fund. an return
all of US good people back to our jobs.
Yuse'll never catch me takin' any stock in
a mascot. but dis dago wild de Dublin
name must be purity good people to tie to,
ef know when de zanja pipes alcadin',
and Shafer says do"
"Dey froze poor old Gap Martindale out
of de hall cause. he was on to every card
in de deck. Now, dat was dead wrong.
De old mans cripple an strictly next.
Even il he didn't pay no rent for five years,
he's done more for de party dan any man
in it an Charley Luckentach put together.
Now de breads been a-takln, away out OF
his mouth, round next to Snyder's shoe
store; where de ganR'Il have to pay for
dere high kickin' stokies, an q honest
mans again becn trown down. 1t keeps
rne busy keepin' dis administration out of
trouble, but dere's better times a-comin'
about next winter, an den Munson'll want
Iu6 10 Do cplet OF poiices Uut ! III Ier olaoS
60 long as de pays only $3.50 month and
de secret service fund pullin' no more dan
hundred extra"
ppm aiinin' up to have franchise sold
fer well in de basement of de hall. De
boys. since Herman de LaRuna went fishin'.
is aspeudin' too much money wild dere con-
stituenta. an dere ought to he one hopper
right here fer all de coin. De privileges
purity good ting. and Martindale and Cap.
Cross III be barred from biddin'. All pro-
posals must be in to de undersigned by
next Tanksgivin' day. accompanied by
five one tousand dollar bills as guarantee
of good faith. Certified checks nor gov
ernment bonds don't go. Martin March
II be bottle holder and Pat Darcy kin
have what's left on de free lunch counter
after we uns gets tru. Well keep only
wines, liquors and seegars of de best make
an coup direct by pipe line from de
Westminster hotel and dere'll never be
any Irish stew on de bill of fare, an no
real .gent'll be expected to use de
III get no credit an treating II not be per-
mitted in the place ef Sam Kingery amt
right in de deal. and any man wearin'
shamrock necktie, diamonds or coat
widout any tails before breakfast, III have
to leave his vaiuables an everything else
wild Vera de janitor. four minutes after
de cash register has licked de chestnut call
"Dis feiler Dunn's de luckiest Roman dis
side de San Gabriel valley. He win me
out on anuder case fer de city last week.
Dat programer never loses hisself in any
turn OBJ de -oad. Say, Pessell, ,KiDgery and
Munson was in court when de judge raised
de winder an trowed dat Basset case on de
sidewalk. Yuse ought ter seed dem tree
graces dat blessed minnit. Dey had been
expectin' to get cinched fer damages, an
when all bets wuz declared off, Kingery he
plants a smackin' big Sunday school kiss,
like de breddern gives to de sisters when
III cold day, an went outside, right
astern Billy's best whiskers if he'd been a
he'd been done by yours truly. Mnnson
danced de hula hula on de court
house steps, and Pessell had his home
stead transferred back to his own name on
de spot. 1t wuz pictur dat III keep me
sober tru de dog days, an if de colonel's
artis' had been closer dan a mile, de cir
culation on de only Republican paper in de
city would hav cIimed up so far as Mon
rovia,- which are only in de state, when
yuse don't know what yuse is a sayin.'
me an Munson has big job ahead in
de fxen of de new water rates. Brod-
erick III be huntin us commencin tomor-
row. an we'll be out of town till he is
ready to make de right game Of talk. We
amt wantin' much from de company.
but Munson must go to de state senate If
he can't land righ. in RAIDERS
front-yard, am I've got to be
supervisor when it comes to drawing the
capital prize the next time. We know the
city rights better than Charley Mcfarland
and the rest OF the push as is agettin' rich
tryin' to hypnotize us into repairing our
fire hydrantsy The company's got to toe
de mark this trip, cause de 'sociation
might bolt de ticket in December for de
boys in de trenches is sore an de
raise in price of wheat wuz only bluff.
Snyder's been amakin' altogether too
much capital outen dis water mess, cause
he's prohibitionist an don't believe in
nothin' strong for de blood. We're got to
sit on him, an de rest Of de democrats in
de council, or dey'll walk away wild de
watermelon, which is contrary to the ordi.
nance made am provided. We're agoin'
to cut de water rates just in two, and of
course Frederick II make mighty bluff at
roarin', but de whole piay'll be to de grand
stand, Dc papers II all be full of de 70.
nance. de party III hev been set right wild
de people. an everybody'll be happy eyer
latsr. HoH's 'datss fer high? Ef yoase
t.nxs can't program. 90 ask Fred Wood.
.sTalkin' about Fred Wood, do cable .
been busted more times lately den got
dollars an, ceHts. De people don't like it
. little bit. andhl' We been a-geffin, unsiGned
letters inainuatiu' dat de company's little
tag 10 ornatnentin' my watch guard. OATS
= lie an de people' as says me an de coun-
Gil Is owned In dis ting fs a-anee2in' wrong
tfu' dere bandanAs. Didn't we order How
ard TO tear up dere unused tracks last