The herald., 1896-08-19
Merrv's ImagininHs

Editor Herald:-!To obtrude upon the
public with anything of a personal char
acter Is contrary to a habit which
have rigidly observed.
But string of imbecilities that were
attributed to me in this mornings Times
constrains me to a temporary relaxation
of this rule.
Yesterday paid flying visit to your
beautiful and prosperous city. AS
passed along Spring street j was espied
by Mr.. T.B. Merry,a Bohemian acduain-
tance of long ago. Ignorant of the fact.
or obvious to it, that for more than
quarter of a century 1 have abstained
from convivial courses. and the habit of
treating, he rushed up and shook hands
with me. Little dreaming that he had
outlived his uselessness for legitimate
newspaper work, allowed him to extort
from me an admission that the Times
has one redeeming feature in the
thoroughness with which it exploits the
news from surrounding towns. On the
strength of this. he has credited me
with a mass of maudlin eulogies which
have appalled, me.
But it Is characteristic of the man. He
always had a most fertile imagination
and a genius for padding" l am re-
minded of a few instances which may
interest and amuse your readers. Once
there came across the ocean and across
the continent a nine-word dispatch:
The equerry to the emperor of Austria
is dead"
Merry drew upon his Imagination and
padded it out with the name and family
connections of the deceased equerry, his
early fondness for horses and dogs, the
way in which these qualities attracted
the attention of the emperor. the strong
mutual attachment that grew up be-
tween these two, the profound grief of
his royal master on the occasion of his
death. and the elaborate preparations
that were being made to honor his men,
ory. 1t was a splendid and affecting
story and a veritable scoop" for the
paper with which Mr. Merry was con-
nected.
His best reports of political meetings
were descriptive of those which he failed
| to attend. One of his favorite fads was
| to work into these IAN IriShman in his
| shirt sleeves" whom he would discover
| in some remote part of the audience, and
! to whom he would impute lot of imbe
| cilities which he Merry was wont to as
cribe to the Democratic party.
He, IL nobody else. would read these
screeds, enjoy and chuckle over them.
| Emboldened by their effect upon him
| self. he got to working his pet Irishman
and his nonsensical notions into all sort S
| of gatherings, such as agricultural So
| ciety meetings, religious and profession
al convocations, etc. At last he con.
| NSitC ilS ldltlil vi hllcSldl liltO uS''
mure little Irishwoman.' who from O.
dark corner at a Methodist love faa st
vented some of Merry's choicest bias
phemies.
That was while he was doing foolish
ness on the Portland Oregonian, Of
which Harry Scott was. and is, the al bic
and conscientious editor. Mr.. Scott Is
also one of the most amiable and De tent
of men. He had worn out crosses OF hl1a
pencils in knocking this perpatetic CnIt
out of Merry's telegraphic padding. The
little woman at the love feast was thv
last straw which broke the patient cam
| els back
| Mr.. Merry was summoned to the sane
| tum. Prior and subsequent to this epi.
| sode Mr.. Scott was rever known to in
dulgc in profanity. But this was me
| morable exception. BY -. Tom sa III
he, you've got to kill that - Ir;shma,
! and all connected with him. and keer
them killed, or take your walking pa
| pers.'
| Once. when he was at the head of the
| nonsensical department of the Sacra-
mento Bee. and 1 happened to pay visit
to that city from Auburn. he coupled a
notice of that fact with a maudlin po-
etical rhapsody about THE long. green
swell of the Pacific lashng itself into
| fury on a shingly shore" or something
| of that sort
| was thin then,very thin. wore a long
Prince Albert coat and q high plug hat
and appeared much taller than / do
! now. The long. green swell was So OBJ
| viously personal and intended as an in
suit that I called the young man out
Artemus Ward acted as my friend nd
| carried my message. / shall never for
get the expression of disgust he bore on
! his countenance when he returned with
| a certificate from the Ia te Dr. T. VI. Lo-
gan. the then leading physician of Sac
ramento, that Mr.. Merry had been sud-
denly Frustrated by a hemorrahage Of
| the lungs
That in brief % is the kind of man
| Tom Merry is. The public will now he
| able to put proper estimate on tho de-
| lirium tremensisseme he attributed to
me in the Sunday Times.
w. A. SELKIRK.
San Bernardno, Aug. 16 1896.