The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-08-12
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

- fldLO 6uyb GudG oplulou 40 amSf2'
| dunn between knowledge and igno
| rance.
| There are said to be ten grade
yates Of West Point in the Cuban
army.
The moment you are instinctively &
prompted to rub your eyes, stop using
them.
= Say yes to stubborn man where
he expects no, and you will soon wear
him out. &
= When we stop looking toward the
wrong place, We will not find itsca
hard to stay in the right place.
- Many a man will find himself
condemned in the judgment, by being
measured by his own yardstick.
"Why does Stimson always carry
his umbrella closed when it rains re
"He is afraid the owner may recoa
nize it.
"A cannon ball fired from oI
the great Krupp or Armstrong
travels at the speed Of 1881 fee
second. ----.....llslllsszllzz.
= Whenever you buy or Sell, letor
hire, make clear bargain, and never
trust to "we shan't disagree about
trifes." 4
= The Cuban patriots get plenty Of T
sympathy in the political platforms,
but they would probably be glad to-
exchange it all for one good schooner
load of cartridges.
"We tried to determine by ballot
who was the most popular girl at the
hotel. Each kiss was to count as q
vote, you know?" 'Howdiditwork2 2p
"Not at ALL. The girls ran in repeaters.
-Ferry-"Why don't you get mar
ried2 Don't say you can't stand the
expense. That excuse is too thin. s
Hargreaves-''I could stand the
pense well enough, but the girl 8 father
says he cam t."
"A silver watch which was drop 6
ped in a. well in Belfast, Maine, 25N
| years ago was recovered a day or tgof
| ago. Unlike most watches recovered
under such circumstances, this one; !
wasn't running just as if nothing had
happened to it. -
- -"That young man stayed till
| after midnight, began the stern 5
| parent. with all the acerbity he could
command. "Yes. papa, answered
the silver Senator's daughter. He
left me al just 16 to L." I-Iguess
he's all right, after all. .
| "A Danbury, Conn, man has de-
cided upon en- original plan of commit.
ting suicide. He intends to enter al
cage containing live lion and allow
himself to be eaten by the beast. BE I!
proposes to charge an entrance fee of &
So to those who wish to see the tragedy,
the proceeds to 60 to his family. s.
- Mrs. D.: "My husband fell down
the cellar stairs with Eve bottles Of
wine and didn't break single one Of
them" Visitor: Wonderful | Mi
raculous T. "Well, NO; it's not SO
wonderful after all. The FIVE bottles
Of wine were on the inside. he drank
them before he fell down the stairs.
= There is nothing better for a cut
than powdered rosin. Pound it until
fine, and put it into an empty clean
pepperbox with perforated top, then
pou can easily sift it on the cat; put
soft cloth around the injured mem
! her, and wetit with cold water once in
while. 1t will prevent inflammation 3
and soreness.
| "A white coon that hasn' dark
hair on its body is owned at Weiser,
Idaho, and is kind Of town pet. IT.
has distinguished itself BY whipping
all the dogs in the neigbborhood, and
is sure death to cats that stray into its I
vicinity. It spends most Of its time
chained to the sidewalk outside its
owners store. sss5sgz5s.ss:
An 1rishman called upona friend
of his one evening, a cobbler by trade,
and found him busy at work, and ex-
claimed, ''Bad luck to him that in-
vinted work by the light Of q dirty,
greazy lamp, whin the blissid light of
the sun is enough for ony mon to {
work by Said the other, g ads luck
TO him that invinted work ali all, at
all"
- Bobby Cat the breakfast table):
"Maud, did Mr.. Jones take any Of the
umbrellas or hats from the hall last
nigbt?" Maud: "Why Of course.
no Why should he2" Bobby &:
"That's just what I'd like to know.
I thought be did, because heard him
say, when he was going out, In,
going to steal just one, and why,
what's the matter Maud o.
= Six weeks ago suffered with Z
very severe cold; was almost unable to !
speak. My friends all advised me to
consult physician. Noticing Cham
herlain's Cough Remedy advertised
in the St. Paul Nolks Zeituna | pros
cured bottle, and after taking it
short while was entirely we'll. Inow
most heartily recommend this remedy
to anyone suffering with cold. WM.s
KEEL, 678 Selby Ave. st. Paul, Mimi.
! For sale by Hill Bros.
= The old lady took off her spec.
tacles and wiped them coptemplative-
ly. "Was you in here when Elvira
read the piece she's goin' to speak on
graduatin' day" she asked. eyes, =, -
replied her husband. "She knows a
terrible sight, don't she? We
heard 'er read 'er eassay, an I've
heard 'er talk, an I've seen the
picters in the books she's studied, an
it's my ,inion that Elvira knows
everything that there is to be knnRed-
-exceptin' how to make good straw
berry cake"
She glided into the Office, and
quietly approached the editors desk.
"I have written poem,' . she began.
"Well l. exclaimed the editor, with
look and tone intended to annihilate
but she calmly resumed, ".[ have writ-
ten poem on MY Fathers Barn,
and ooh, interrupted the editor,
with an extraordinary suavity, you
don't know how relieved I am. IA
poem written on your fathers barn,
eh? was afraid that it was written
on paper. and you wanted me to pub
lish it. If I should ever happen to-
| II 4 a..