The Van Buren press., 1896-01-04
TOLD BY AN OLD SNOWMAN.
Three Brief But Interesting Stories About
the WAYS of the Monkey.


the Ways of the Monkey.
Speaking of monkeys" said the old
Snowman, I'VE had about thirty of
them once in n big cage With 4 shelf
along each side, up high, for them to
lie on, and a little dead tree with the
ends of the branches sawed off stand
ing in the middle for them to climb up
to the shelves by, and to hang on to by
their tails if they wanted to. One day
we set in on the bottom of the cage e
champagne bottle filled with very
highly fermented root beer, and with
the cork held in with cord tied with
a bow-knot The monkeys got up on
the shelves and up in the stumpy
tree and looked down on this bottle
very suspiciously; finally their curl
osity got the better of them and they
came down and moved around the bot
tie to inspect it. At last they got near
enough to touch it and handle it and
finally they upset it over on its side
Then one of the monkeys began pull
ing on the string, with the rest all
clustered around. At last he pulled
the knot loose and bangl went the
cork and away went the beer. The
first rush of it knocked over three or
four of the monkeys nearest the muz-
zle of the bottle, and it drenched half
dozen of them and wet all of them
more or less, for it went through the
bunch of monkeys like puff of smoke,
scattering and flying in all directions
An instant later the monkeys were up
the tree and lying along on the shelves;
there was nothing left on the floor of
the cage but the empty bottle.
"a number of times after that we
set bottles of beer out in the sun to
ferment, and then set them in the
cage, but the monkeys never would
touch them. We could set the bottles
in, but we couldn't make the monkeys
pull the string
"There was lady standing in front
of the cage one day who had on hat
with big bunch of red cherries and
lot of flowers on the top of it. A mon
key reached through the bars and
grabbed the cherries The lady pulled
back, but the monkey held on and
pulled the hat off and tried to drag it
through the bars into the cage. Three
or four other visitors standing near
rushed up and grabbed the hat, and
they pulled one way while the monkey
pulled the other. They finally got the
hat away from the monkey and re-
turned it to the lady. The cherries were
about all gone, and what there was
left of the rest of the hat really wasn't
of much account The lady said
she would have to be paid for the hat,
and she made for the box Office.
Why, certainly said the man in
the box office. How much do you val
ue the hat?'
"Five dollars the lady said, and
the box office man handed out the
money.
1.-THE lady smiled; she was evidently
pleased. i didn't really expect you
would pay for it" she said, and she
turned to go away.
Madam, said the man in the box
office, and the lady turned around.
"'We'l take the hat now, if you
please
"'Whatp said the lady.
Ihe nat, IL you please, sdlu une
box office man. We've paid for it,
and we would like to have it.
"Of course, the lady couldn't go away
without hat, and the upshot of it was
that she returned the five dollars and
went away with the hat.
standing in front of the cage one
day was man who had on pair of
gold spectacles. A monkey reached
through and took the spectacles off
the mans nose. The man was greatly
surprised at this, but he was great
deal more surprised when he saw the
monkey, still standing close by him,
push the glasses out of the frame and
push them in his mouth and stow them
away, one in each cheek, and then pro-
ceed to twist the frames up, like SO
much wire, into small bunch. One OF
our men went into the cage and choked
the monkey until he got the glasses
out of his mouth, and then he got the
frame away from him and we returned
them to the owner. OF course, they
were not of much use to him in that
shape, but it was the best we could
| do."-N. Y, Sun.