davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Failing.

! MT. .Figg-1 have called to get some
thing done for my son, Tommy. Fer.
haps you can prescribe without going
to the house.
DR.. Bowless- What are the symp-
toms? How is his appetite?
Mr.. Figg-That is just what called
to zee you about. He has got SO for
the last two or three days that he
doesn't eat more than twice as much
as do.-IndiaQapolis journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Why He Qnih

'slWell. see old Banks has finally
quit smoking. / heard his doctor tell
him over O year ago that unless he
stopped it would kill him, and his wife
has been at him about it ever Since"
"But that wasn't what made him
swear off. His typewriter girl object
ed to his BREATH &c Cleveland Leader.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11

Under the New Dispensation.
Dukane You know Miss Manchest.
er, / suppose?
Gaswell- Yes; she's bachelor girl,
isn't she? AN
Dukane She IT,. Her brother is also
. spinster boy ana her father is q
widow Manufacturing Chronicle.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Mr. Asbury Peppers.

"The. new boarder," said the lhnd1n-
DIV, ''is us bald as; an egg
Just about lineage Of one;. isnit hep
nsked Asbury Peppers, which was
really unkind of him; as the Indy made
q practice of getting the freshest tile
storage. houses had. Cincinnati I'm
Quirer..
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
n WuuId LOOK %.

''They have such queer notions IN
school now. The children aTe not
taught to spell at an n. 4;
Gracious me-! What 6 lot Of type.
writer's there viii be . few years
hence!- indianapolis Journal.
His wife's millinery bill slipped froEi
his; nervelcss fingers
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
A Popular Nail

Blackner-How did you tcar your
coat?
Reddey-C Caught II on nall in Wig
ley's store. made him pay me $50
for the damage, though.
Rlackner-That SO? Isstbe nail there
yet? -Roxbury Gazette.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
A sensible Cour.e

Maiden What can q woman do
when a man who has won her affec-
lions refuses to marry her?
lawyers he rich?
mo; hasn't a cent"
s.she can appoint day of general
Thanksgiving and invite both families
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11

Mrs. Dewithers ION the way from
church, II think, my dear, DR.. Long
winds sermon was a very finished
effort.
Mr.. DeWithers-It was; but, do you
know was afraid it never would be?
New York Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Always Busy ON His Head.

Always Busy ON HIS Head.
paw" said the little boy, did you
know that the house fly lays more'n a
million cggs?''
Maybe she does. Willie," answered
the bald-headed parent, .'but I'll be
eternally dinged IL / can tell when she
takes the time. ." Cincinnati Enquirer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
HIS saving Grace.

. lam not without good points" said
the tramp.
what are they. should like to
know - said the gruff citizen.
dering Mickey, Il am the original piece
OF labor-saving OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Chronicl Telegraph.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
a New. Dep4arture.

'.Mrs. Digby has a husband that
really thinks something OF her.
what has he dbne?'''
"Why, instead Of betting to WING hnt
for himself on the election. he bet !
new bonnet for his wife,,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Follower, Hln,,

Tuttle-Th professor finds It impos-
sible to get away from Nis:work.
Newton-ls that so?.
Tuttle-Yes; he went to tile seashore,
and the first thing he struck was q
school of ffsh.-TeXas Strings.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Original ana Praiseworthy.

s Original and PfaisevyOrthy.
& '.Aiillyuns is an original old custom
6er. wonder what new schemee he
win have for the disposal Of his
welth before he dics?"
'tOh, he's got that all fixed now. He's
Eoing to endow m asylum for the
children OF divorced parents. ~ hica-
20 Journal. ~
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
He Didn,t pm, Out.

Tx.
Lafayette Squeer-How did you Ike
the dog sold you, Bubbles?
Bubbles-Like him? You told me he
was the greatest dog for pointers
ever saw. I lost a thousand in tho
market yesterday, and that dog never
whimpered.-Bufalo Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11

Application Of Invention.
The Honorable squas1em-I move,
gemmen, dat de matter be laid on de
table. s
K Madison Monroe Jones 1.-THE new
member1, conf entially, AZ he looks
around Excuse me, Mr.. squashem,.
but I don't think It 10 safe to lay notl,-
In on de table In dis yere assembly -
Texas siftings.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
needed . Change of.Diet.

George I'm just sure. you
didn't give lie enough cake.
Georges Mamma-What makes you
think that, my boy?
George Cause Tommy Simpson
said was pie-faces Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
consequences.

''The consequences Of your extrnva-
gance," he 'solemnly exclaimed, ..be sF-
on your. own head.n
They were, with the exception OF
Thursday afternoons, when the cook
wore them Chicago, Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
From, CHICAGO,

Mr. Badgcr-My dear, this is Mr.: Cab
umet. from Chicago. He, will stay to
dinner.
Mrs. Badger "a moment Inter to the
kitchen lieutenant Marin. when you
set the table be SURF to put on the pie
knives.-Cl Cleveland lN;in Dealer:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Mpt to Dlau,e:

'sWhatw exclaimed oldl Bullion, II
surprise. Give you my. only daMghter7
Not much, young NAH.
What Il she is your only daughtcfT'
replied the. young man, tartaF. .sIfiat
isn't my fanlt, is it?''-. SSomerviks
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Singular and Plural.

81MG0l0Ff and Plural.
You must not be offended with AL
gy, said the Duke Of highlands. .He
naturally has q singular manner, you
know"
singular is the word, exactly" re-
marked the American girl. plural
would not apply at MI. He Is totally
licking there -
About four weeks after the duke sud-
denly bethought him that perhaps she
might have been making some allusion
to Cincinnati Enquirer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
"A scl,enae..,..

Why does young sharpfey alwsy.
takes Miss Flighty bicycle riding -
rore ne spends the evening there?'
1t makes her SO hoarsc tisnt sbe
never asks II he wants hear her sane.. :
Detroit Free Press. -
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11

''Old Murphy was killed last night
BY . dewdrop.'' \ '#3s 81; s5s 80 .:S N &.
x Must have been a heavy one?1
About four hundred tons. = ss53
sSt'sRats!' S;:s III a.
= You pee. he was standing under. the
trestle, and q freight train ran OF the
track and dropped on him"
.Dut how about the dew??' r. 4
why, the train was due."-Texns
siftings. ,.s q; s.}
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11

Have 20 Breathe Il IN chicago.
II was here In this town about lev
en- years ago, and you couldn't see a
darned thing on account OF the smoke.
It's different now. There amt hardly
any smoke"
mo; we have smoke. consumers,
now"
Smoke-conxumers! Gosh! Are
there people here so hard up they have
to cut smoke ~" Chicago Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
49, Ms 4 49, 1l,Aanlrfsl.

4sss why Ne vvas TAanhfal. n
O., = seid TIE, sarcastic man. az he
walked out of the thSater between
sActs sI'm ever,So much obliged to that
ssiris rho aits 81 front OF me. ! don't
know but m tell her; %. = NJ, ::s
Z 0u mean the one with the fright
fully big hat ~ N IS .,fs
y sYes. Z = n,
ssI don't zee what you are obliged 70
aher Tor" Il -
.Eor not raising her pansol. -
Washington Star. $.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11

- q \, NJ iN
!, ~ 4 ~ y
4sssl WY Hs yvas 1Aanikfal.
81 a II I, aid tue, sarcastic man, az he
ylslked out of The thSater between.
sActs sim ever. 20 much obliged to that
sSirl rho aits 81 front OF me. I don't
know but IN tell her 10. sss lls 5
is g ou mean the one with the fright
sfsu MY big hat''' #
ao1 J. ~ what you az eol 1ll e
'gor not raising hsr pamsol. =
Washington Star.
"A Heavy Dew. *. :. s
"Old Murphy was killed last night
By . dewdrop. = i$3 '1.. 'si1s; !.
\ .sdust have been heavy one?r
8 About four hundred tons. !"
h Rats St 4 81 n A s. Il s
you zee. he was standing under tine
trestle, and q freight train ran OF the
track and dropped on him." Il
"Dut how about the dew?'
why, the train was due. "-Texns
Siftings. ,..s. S.3.
Have 10 Breathe Il IN chicago.
4. II was here In this town about lev
en- years ago, and you couldn't see a
darned thing on account Of the smoke.
It's different now. There amt hardly
any smoke" vi ss7
mo; We have smoke consumers.
now 81 ~
! 'Smokeconxumers! Gosh! Are
there people here so hard up they have
to cut smoke 7s-C Chicago Tribune.
singular and Plural.
'sYou must not be offended with AL
~, said the Duke Of HIGHLANDS. .He
naturally has a singular manner, you
know 4, .s, 5sS
singular is the word, exactly" re-
marked the American girl. plural
would not apply at all. He is totally
licking there" t3ai
About four weeks after the duke sud-
denly bethought him that perhaps she
might have been making some allusion
to manners.-Ci Cincinnati Enquirer.
Failing.
! Mr.. .Figg-1 have called to get some
thing done for my son, Tommy. Fer.
haps you can prescribe without going
to the house.
DR.. Bowless- What are the sytnp-
toms? How is his appetite?
Mr.. Figg-That is just what called
to zee you about. He has got so for
the last two or three days that he
doesn't eat more than twice as much
as do.-Indiapapolis journal.
A Flashed Sermon.
Mrs. DeWithers ION the way from
church, II think, my dear, DIR. Long
Winds sermon was very finished
effort.
Mr.. DeWithers-It was; but, do you
know was afraid 1t never would be?
New York Tribune.
Under the Rev Dispensation.
Dukane You know Miss Manchest-
er, suppose?
Gaswell-Yes; she's bachelor girl,
isn't she? ,5
Dukane- She Is. Her brother is also
spinster boy ana her father is a
widow manufacturing Chronicle.
iss -
BIZ A Sensible Course.
Maiden-What can n woman do.
when q man who has won her afrec-
tfons refuses to marry her?
.Iawyer-Is he rich?
.s,1,. ha.r,+ !. oo,+n
..Sh. non $500 H. =. ,
+honIs,,a;rr III .,.s,4u i =. 1 ensia.
- ny Nn, W. o, Wla ailes
- pAi ''e = - view AolA Weeh1y'
~ 80 On H.s 1aeAa.
aM, sa.u .ne niue Doy' did you
AAOW tHdt Tue mouse ny AyB mOre0 q
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11
Uncle Hira.s;n vhewn

:. UMcAe AaHE1nRh V6eWA
IAN tAese Of city parks = plum
1a&es, anyway. AL
Why, Uncle Hiram?'e n
I There amt a PARK Il. ~ ~ho,A
toNgn where folks can dig hole. mste
2 Ire an roast taters IN u ashes. !"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-11

l j.
shuddered.
$50, this is the end, }" she said rather
i slowly, without looking at him. Beg
gary and shameful flight and nothing
In the future. This is all you have to
offer meY'
I'VE are still together, Bertha, !" be
said, looking ut her h0peless)y.
Bah! That Is the worst part Of IT, =
she said scornfully. Rich, you were
tolerable; but poor - She made q
quick gesture Of disgust and turned
away from him. 4 .5s
"And you can say this to me at this
hour" he said bitterly. ,s,s
II ut IN such moments 40 these that
teach men and women honesty" she
said, with q laugh. You have beer
blind not to see it MI before. You
know never really loved yOli.' = II
He turned away with almost a sof
IN his throat. She looked at his bowed
head curlously. Suddenly she leaned
toward him almost eagerly. 3a$S
"Herick," she said, rive me the &c
francs. Let lls risk all OF NOTHING. I'll
try my luck" ~ Il sf5ss q, V #.
He looked. at her moodlly, then drew
the coins from his pocket and tossed
them into her lap. 4 AZ ,y0u will = he
said. .'It does not matter nov. z - s7.s5;
She caught the money quickly to
i II will. 70 alone z She ssaid. YOU'D
i spoil the luck. Something tells me, !
shall win tonight. = .5s3
He watched her ns me walked quick
h III 81 M elEaction a. M glstet build
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-05-10

endurance and wonderful heroism is not to
be denied. and that good viii come OF his
labors Is beyond doubt. but the work In
Africa is a failure compared with the work
Of Bishop Thoburn in India, whose success
is the basis Of a demand for missionary
bishops in China and Japan, IL. indeed,
general superintendent shoEld not be sta
toned I'm these and other points In Europe
and Asia, while no one advocates any more
self-suppcrting missions In the sense that
the African mission has been self-support-
ing.
1t was thus that Bishop Taylor became
a bishop. 1t was a mistake. said one OF the
wisest OF the members TO me to-day. That
is putting it mildly enough. How he came 10
remain a bishop is another mistake. Though
only local bisho,. il has been that being
bishop at all he is a bishop for life and
now the question is how TO get rid of him.
1t Is no secret that the suggestion 10 abolish
the office of missionary bishop finds its chief
suggestion in the desire TO introduce a new
method in Africa. No sucn thought Is
entertained in relation TO the work in India.
Still Bishop Taylor is a grand old man. He
has been abundant in labors. but IL he could
have worked in harmony with others the re-
suits would have been better. His heroism
has endeared him~to his brethren, and If
the office of missionary bisnop shall be abol-
ished and general superintendents be elected
it is more than probable that he would be
one of them though he is in his seventy
sixth year and by no means unusually Wig
orous. That Bishop Thoburn would be ad-
mfts of no doubt.
AT the meeting of the episcopal commit
tee yesterday formal petition was present.
ed, signed by the coiored brethren, TO elect
a bishop of African descent, alleging that
they have man every way qualified
Though 1t is hardly probable that at this
time. with SO many white candidates before
them, this man can command the requisite
two-thirds vote, there is little doubt that
their man will command a larger vote than
some white men now I'm the field. IT. A.. q.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-05-10
MONARCH
81 E. Washington.
GROCERIES
TELEPHONE 1853.

Ma, and order; promptly ed Money
cars stop in front OF MONARCH
The large assortment of high.quaIity goods
and low prices keep the crowd increasing at the
Monarch. You can't afford to 60 elsewhere.
&8.zS Barrel
Roller Process, warranted
84.eO Barrel
Perfection" highest quality patent
flour, warranted TO have no superior.
I5c
For gallon can New York Apples.
1&c
For 3-Ib can California Peaches.
For large bottle Sour Pickles.
For large bottle Sweet Midget Pickles.
zoo Pound
For fresh roasted Rio Coffee.
8oC pound
For Oriental Blend Tea-worth double.
Fresh Butter received daily. 100
per pound for country roll 22C for
Elgin Creamery.
MEAT DEPT.
Finest Porterhouse Steak in the
city.
Fresh Dressed Chickens, per pound. 12c
Good Steaks, per pound. z15c
All kinds of Sausage.
Mutton, for stew. w.................. &C
Pork R0aStS S....................6 to &c
Pork Chops. ...................... &c
ArmOurS Bacon On...........s...... 1Oc
Armours Cal Hams.............. 71ac
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-05-10

Mall and Telephone Orders promptly filed. Money
refunded II goods are not as represented. Street
stop In front OF MONARCH
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-02-14
MAINE TOWNS.
Items of Interest Gathered by Cores
porderts of the Press.
New Gloucester.

New Gloucester, Feb. 10. One of the
most delightful social events which has
ever occurred in New Gloucester, took
place at the residence of Mr.. and Mrs.
Rermon Webber Wednesday at g. 30 p. M,
when their only daughter, Miss Sarah,
was united in marriage to Mr.. Howard
Hammond Jordan. The wedding march
was played by Miss Nettie Tobey of Port
land, and the marriage ring service was
used. The officiating Clergyman was the
Rev. Edward Warren Webber of Rich
mond, Me-, brother Of the bride. Yhe
bride WAS handsomely attired in white
lansdown, with garnitures of lace and
ribbon. The groom was in the conven-
Uional black. After the congratulations
and best wishes were extended to the
newly welded pair the guests repaired to
the dining room, where q dainty wedding
breakfast was prettily served by the
young ladies.
A pleasing feature was the outing of
the BRIDES cake by the bride herself.
Miss Nettie Tobey, Of Portland, was the
fortunate one, as her slice contained the
ring. The bride and groom Left on the
4.S0 train for Boston, amid shower of
rice and old shoes. After short wedding
trip Mr.. and Mrs. Jordan will be at
home at 451 Shawmut Ave-, Boston.
the rooms were handsomely decorated
with evergreens, pinks, daybreak roses
and rock ferns. They were the recipients
of many beautiful and costly presents.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-02-14
oKLAHoMA's DIVORCE COLONY.
The Experience of Man who Was Re
Gently a Residence of 1t.

Il. Schmerber, of this city, las just re-
turned from Perry, Oklahoma, where he
has been residing for the past four
months as a member of the divorce colo
ny in that place. Mr.. Schneider is a
Frenohman, native of Alasoe, and q
mechanical engineer by profession.
Twelve years ago he was married to Miss
cisco. Some time after their marriage
according to Mr.. Schmerbsr, his w ife
left him and went to Europe. He says
that she was absent three years, and that
when she returned she had forgotten the
numbe of his house. de refused to live
with her, longer. and went to Oklahoma
for the express purpose of securing a
divorce. After the requirement. of a
ninety days residence had been met. he
presented his petition to the District
Court. giving abandonment and unfaith-
fulneas as the grounds for his application,
and the decree was at once granted.
oklahoma is rapidly supplanting the
Dakotas in the divorce business" said
Mr.. Schneider yesterday. There are at
least two good reasons for this. One is
more pleasing than that of Dakota. and
the other is that the Oklahoma law re-
Quires only half as long a residence as
that of Dakota. The present divorce law
of Oklahoma was passed in 1890 at the
very first session of the legislature, and
recognizes ten separate grounds for abso-
Lutte divorce. For a time the courts Of
New York would not recognize Oklaho-
ma diyo1 oes, but recent decision of the
Supreme Court has declared that di-
vorce obtained in one State is valid in
every other State.
When I was in Perry the divorce colo
ny there mum bered between forty and
fifty OF these a majority were New
Workers and at least half, were women.
The divorce colony is large enough to
have some social life of it's own, and the
forced to spend in the Territory pass very
pleasantly. The shortest time in which
divorce can be obtained is ninety -One
days. That is, where the defendant 40
oepts services of papers and sdoes not
contest1the suit. Otherwise there mast
lie waitsofs twenty -one days for serving
the papers, which is done by publication,
OF an answer. Thus the time required
to get a divorce in Oklahoma varies from
three to four and a half months. The
cases are disposed of rapidly wheen they
are reached, as few of them are opposed,
and from ten to twelve divorces are fire.
quently granted in day in the District of
Perry.
AS soon as the decree of divorce is Sc
cured the divorced one usually decides to
give up his or her residence in Oklahoma
and fits back to the East and to freedom.
They do not add greatly to the prosperity
Of the town, but they keep several board
ing houses well filled, and the bona fide
residents like to have them there.-New
York Sun.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-02-14
BE STRONG and HEARTY.
How to be Strong and Full Of Life
and Vigor.

If you starved for two days you would feel
as weak as cat
Proof enough that your food is the cause
of your strength.
If your stomach is sick, you are starving
away your strength. Slowly perhaps bu
none the less surely.
You feel it yourself.
You have nausea, loss of appetite, head
ache, giddness, pain in the stomach loss of
strength, spirits and ambition.
What do you think? That it's your head?
But It's not. It's simply your stomach.
Food is strength. Stomach makes it avail
able If stomach won't work, food does not
become available strength.
Shaker Digestive Cordial will, in few
doses, make your stomach well and help
your food make you strong.
Who wouldn't be strong? Whoever won't
take Shaker Digestive Cordial.
Sick, tired, weary men and women those
who are working their bodies and brains
too hard, will find relief and strength in
Shaker Digestive Cordial.
1t makes STRENGTH. 1t makes HEALTH.
1t makes HAPPINESS.
It's not an ordinary medicine, it's a cor
dial.
It's pleasant to take, and MORE than
pleasant in its results.
For sale by all druggists at 10, %, 80 cents
and S1.oO bottle
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-02-14
Messengers Notice.

Office of tho Sheriff OF Cumberland County,
State of Maine. Cumberland S.. February
9Th, A. D., 1896.
THIS is to give notice, that on the 31st day
i Of january, A. D., 1896. Warrant in
Insolvency was issued out of the Court OF In
solvency for said County of Cumberland,
against the estate OF
EMERY s. ADELL. of Portland,
adjudged to be an Insolyent Debtor, on petition
of said Debtor, which petition was fled on
the SIst day Of January, A. D.. 1896, to which
date interest on claims is to be SaHRt.
by said Debtor. and the transfer and delivery of
any property by him are forbidden 'taa BY law;
That Z meeting Of the creators I =, OF OF SAID
or more assignees Of his estate will be held
ct Court of Insolvency to be holden at Probate
Court Room, in said Portland, in said County of
Cumberland. on the 18th day of February,
A. D., 1896, at 10 O'Clock in the forenoon.
Given under my hand the date Arst above
written. c. L. BUCKNAM.
Deputy SHERIFF as Messenger Of tho Court OF
feh7&14