New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-03-01
"CLERK OF THE TOWN OF FLATLANDS."
TIE NEW TITLE THAT Is HtMoRoCSLf Al
TACKLED TO CHIEF CLERK FOWLER. OF THE
DEPARTMENT OF CITY WORKS

TIE NEW TITLE THAT Is HUMoROUsLY AT.
rAcHED TO CHEF CLERK FOWLER OF THE
DEPARTMENT OF CITY WORKS
Tn. Clerk OF the Town Of Flatlands? Indeed. his
history ought 10 be told succnctly. though per-
force In not quite few words. as the Famous
CHAPTER on the snakes Of Ireland which Dr. john
son celebrated and Boswell immortaIzed. Tnere
is no Clerk OF the Town OF F1atlands TO 20 ono
step further back. there is no Town OF Flatands.
How possibly. then. can a town which Is non-ex-
istent be seized and possessed OF clerk!
These ard various similar conundrums may nat
urally arise In the mind OF any one who obtains
the open sesame to the ofhces Of the Department.
OF City Works in the Municipal Building-not so
easy a matter by-the-way. in these days. when
politicians flock thither-and approaches the desk
at which Is seated Bernard Fowler. the smiling ana
unrufied chief clerk OF the Department. To .
stranger there is nothing IN his appearance or en-
vironment to indicate the important position which
Mr.. FoVler ns to the entire satisfaction OF hio
chief. his fellUw-oficials and that part OF the gen.
erai public which comes In contact with him.
Nothing. that is to say. except the mysterious
legend the safe which stands alongside the
chief clerks desk.
This legend reads, CLERK Of the Town OF Flat-
lands" 4 mystery, indeed! The town OF FIAT
lands. as everybody knows passed out OF ex'
istence at midnight on December 81. 1880 ana tns
Clerk and all other functionarfes engaged ]" INC
administration CT Its anars are omc'a"S $50
| legally desunct. Mr.. Fowler. II ID UNDERWOOD
makes no claim to be tho successor In any sens
| OF the word 70 the sometime Clerk, and there ID
no evidence that the ofncia just mentioned De-
| queathed any OF his property to any particular
ofricer or department Of tho city. But there the
ons 5sst s1ar Fon VI Of
| Of FYatands." He lays no claim to the title. but
he he's responds instantly when delicate illusions %
/! the Clerk Of the Town OF Flatlands are made IN
his hearing Be II understood that this ONCE. IN
honorary There are emoluments connected
with IL. Neither are there any dudes How long
Mr. Fowler will continue to retain the once-if In
deed he truthfuiiy be said to hold its uncer-
Carefully conducted inquiries among those cog
nnan! o. 'hs shoS that when SaanSs b
came a ward OF the city Of Brooklyn all Its prop
erty became the property OF the city. and was In
custody OF the Commissioner OF City Works The
ancient records OF the town were passed to the
Corporation Counsel. but the safe in which they
had reposed for years wa: seised upon BY Chief
q long-fek want In his corner OF the City Works
Department. He only kept his eye on Il: ne ss-
which is commonly accounted nine points OF the
law. There was an eager competition for the pos
session Of the safe. upon whose short and simple
annals no stain had been cast while It was In the
lands. whose superscription SO to speak. II stil
bears.
Speaking Of the safe. by-the-way. II 10 safe to
say that SON some day Chief Clerk Fowler will grow
as the potential Clerk Of the defunct town Then
he will call In q painter and vii. have the time
honoied legend expunged from the safe OF which
laying on hts hands Then Of truth the Clerk Of
the Town Of F1etlande viii become thing Of the
PAST