The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1896-02-06
An ANIMAL sH1 MAD NEVER SIN.
nan >sand~f.' Wits rh..gst It Possible
lie % sd kiiisd . esp.is.t

Hon. NJ. W. Howard. the ~ld-l,
known yourg P"pulIsi congr-,-msn
from Alabama. likes n j,k-. and t-llr
one on himself in this wise.
during the last rampaiyn on.
day" said Howard. IL went up tn
the top Of n considerable mountain
TO see q hunter "f the name az Ball
Sanders TO secure his vote. Ball VA,
not at home. but his wife was, \ tall.
lean, bony woman. with dusty hlsrl
hair, hollow. colorl-ss cheeks. AMI
sunken eyes, n larg. mouth. large
feet. and yellow hands la ou. hand
she held box of snuff ia the other
a tooth brush, and she WAS sp'iirg
amberique.
Good morning. madam. said
How are YOU. sirang-rf. said She
".Is your husband at home, my
good womanf'
"'No, he hain't. He went down
in Coon HOller this m"rnin' before
day. and hain't lookin' for him back
until towards midnight
| "'Weil, madam | continued.
am a candidate for Congress, aud
hope you will use your ir fiue CO. "a
get your husband To vote for m-
know that a woman Of your iui.li-c'
your bea autiful eyes that shine lik.
dew drops on the mountain top when
the light of the morning sun srsi
strikes II: your fresh. rosy cheeks.
which the gods would kiss a. nectar
and your entire charming pers N ,iii ,
IL say a woman so endowed 10y ma
ture must have great influence Owe,
her husband, for he WAS ind. ed for
tunate to secure you for = wife
Law, now, stranger, exclaimed
the woman, when you come 'alkin
that away, and beiu' As how lik
your looks anyways, guess if Bill
Sanders don't vote for you he neet
never expect TO roost round fh.s.
diggings no more, | tell YOU
Il was much pleased with IA.
progress ! was making. and | ven
tured to put the question of most im
portance to me: Are there any Pop
ulists in this vicinity"
".Dear me, stranger she ans were,
you are a little mite Ia hard Cor m,
this time. You see, don't pa,
much attention to them things. bs
Bill is a mighty pert hunter and ha
killed and skunt almost all kinds -
, varmints in these mountains. Blu
whether he ever ko:ch one a. rheI
I air, what you call il, stranger--Pop
ulists varmints-is more nor ! know
IL you'll just walk round the bach
side of the house. where hes got a
0 his pelts hangin' up a-dryip,' yo
S may find one o. them thirgs, fol
y now that / come TO think about i
y Bill he yesterday mornin' killed on
:. of the dolgastedest critters ] ever's-'
J. 1t had long legs, handy shanks. Ion
e hair, and was cross-eyed, an =
It bet a pound o. homemade tobacx,
e it WAS a Populist, though ] pev'
d heern tell - one afors.'"
l. UNCLE SAM AND joins BULL
says Uncle sam To Johnnie Boil:
"On Venezue'' have the pull,
o Your Schomburgk line ! don't r~xsr
B. And you shant play i'm my back var
Q another line Was plainly seen.
And sho an To your Lord Aberdeen.
is Now If you take an inch Or ell
,r I'll send your merchant chip. to Ii
3 "For John. you know yun put on xis
l. Aud meddle in other folks affairs;
IS But such things now must have q
IT end,
The Monroe Doctrine III defend"
Quoth John, "Why, Sammi-, were al /
, Ii You persist, then war1l begin.
- And don't you know I've bought vii
&c gold
3 And all your goldbng statesmen hold
- "If you but dare to interfere.
- I'll slap your jaws, my Sammie dear,
- III show more Arnold. in Wall sfrss
r Than grains Of sand beneath yo
" feet"
Now Uncle sam replied in haste:
III slappiDg jaws you want . taste,
Just let my people get . chance.
They'll make your arnold goldtH
=, dance"
ly "And since you bIuff the way you do
ID I'll bounce your goldbugs, and 70
is Your threats and bIusfer, III resent,
And make q PATRIOT President
He'll do the thing he ought to do,
~ And show the world. and such as yt
nt Upon the flag in my back yard.
Put only Americans on guard
my boys in blue and boys in grey,
On Will make you rue to see the day.
You draw your sword 'gainst Venzu
y IL you fight her you must fight me-
%. BEST stop now, John, and hesitate,
d. Or else you'll find il out too late:
IN Gold may briIs . ssrranf, John.
But never can the master own"
rs "Your goldbugs rob my people. Jo'
Its You taught them how. n you mi
he own.
nd Read Scripture, John, and do not dou
he Your many sins have found you out