The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1896-02-20
THE END.
SOMETHING UP HIS SLEEVE.

But It Was Hardly What the Quick Man
In the Audience Expected.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen, . said the
conjurer, "having shown you that the
cloth is absolutely empty, will proceed
to take from it bowl of goldfish. Pres
to'
All round the hall people were saying:
sob, how wonderful How does he do it2"
But the quick man on the front seat
said in a big whisper to the people near
him, -up-his-sleeve!"
Then the people nodded brightly at the
quick man and said, ''Oh, of course!' and
everybody whispered round the hall, He
-had-it-up-his-s
my next trick, " said the conjurer, sis
the famous Hindoostanee rings You will
notice that the rings are apparently sepa-
rate. Az blow they all join (clang clang
clang). PrestoP'
There was general buzz of stupefac-
ton till the quick man was heard to whis-
per, 'sHe- --had-another--
lot-up-his--sleeveg
Again everybody nodded and whispered,
s'The rings-wese-up-hi -sleevei''
The brow of the conjurer was clouded
with gathering frown.
II will now,'' he continued, 'fshow you
most amusing trick, by which I am en-
abled to take any number of eggs from
hat. Will some gentleman kindly lend
me his hat? All, thank you'll Prestop'
He extracted II eggs, and for 80 seconds
the audience began to think that he was
wonderful Then, the quick man whis-
pered along the front bench, 'sHe-has-a
-up-his-sleeve'' and all the peo-
pie whispered it on, "He-has-a-lot-of
-hens-up-his-sle
The egg trick was ruined.
1t went on like that all through. It
transpired from the whispers of the quick
man that the conjurer must have concealed
up his sleeve, in addition to the rings,
hens and fish, several packs of cards, a
loaf of bread, dolls cradle, live guinea
pig, so cent piece and a rocking chair.
The reputation of the conjurer was rap
idly sinking below zero. At the close of
the evening he rallied for final effort.
"Ladies and gentlemen he said, "I
will present to you, in conclusion, the ia
NOUS japanese trick recently invented by
the natives of Tipperary. Will you, sir .
he continued, turning toward the quick
man, twill you kindly hand me your gold
watch?"
It was passed to him.
"Have your permission to put it into
this mortar and pound it to pieces?" he
asked savagely.
The quick man nodded and smiled
The conjurer threw the watch into the
mortar and grasped sledge hammer from
the table. There was a sound of violent
smashing. "He's-slipped-it -up-his-
sleevep' whispered the quick man.
"Now, SIR" continued the conjurer,
twill you allow me to take your handker-
chief and punch holes in itP Thank you!
You see, ladies and gentlemen, there is no
deception. The holes are visible to the
eye.''
The facs of the quick man beamed
This time thu real mystery of the thing
fascinated him.
"And now, sir, will you kindly pass
me your silk hat and allow me to dance
on it? Thank youP'
The conjurer made few rapid passes
with his feet and exhibited the hat, crush
ed beyond recognition.
s'And will you now, sir, take off your
eelluloid collar and permit me to burn it
in the candle? Thank you, sirl And
will you allow me to smash your spectacles
for you With my hammer? Thank you'll"
By this time the features Of the quick
man were assuming puzzled expression.
"This thing beats me-" he whispered,
81 don't see through it Bit"
There was great hush upon the audi
enoe. Then the oonjurer drew himself ur
to his full height, and, with whitening
look at the quick man, he concluded:
Ladies' and gentlemen, you will OBJ
serve that I have, with this gentleman's
permission, broken his watch, burned his
collar, smashed his spectacles and danced
on his hat. If he will give me the further
permission to paint green stripes on his
overcoat, or to tie his suspenders in a
knot, shall be delighted to entertain you
If not, the performance is at an end. -
And amid a glorious burst of music
from the orchestra the curtain fell, and
the audience dispersed, convinced that
there are some tricks, at any rate, that are
not done up the oonjurers sleeve. Truth.