Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1896-07-23
f'OVERTY'S BLESSING.
Philosopher Finds Reasons Enough to
Be Quite Well.
am busy because | am Door.

l am busy because | am Door
Sometimes have Thought was moor
because | was busy and hadn't time 70
get rich, but the thought seems to iack
ccherence or something.
Anyway, | am too busy to analvza !,
row.
Some one asked me the other dav If
| worked on an empty stomach
promptly replied that l did, because
when my stomach was full | did NOT
have to work.
IL is a great blessing to be a phlloso-
Pier 1t is also a great blessing 10 he
poor.
man l went TO school with when
we were boys. but who is not acquainted
with me now, was driving along the
street the day before yesterday in 2
T3,O0O tournout, when an alarm of fire
was turned in from that part of the
Guy Where he owns about seven acres
VI property. He ordered his coachman
TO ny thither, and the coachman flew
accordingly until the carriage co,,ue6
Win cart; one of the horses was erin
PIED for life, the carriage was wrecked
ana my former schoGlmate was rolled
/ ever IN the street with a broken arm
ana bruises enough to paint a black
/ and Green poster with When he re-
gained his consciousness he was in
formed that the fire had burned the en-
tre lhsldes out of Sl0U,0 business
oIock he had just completed.
4 heard the same alarm of fire. but
walked calmly on to my clearinghouse
and was not troubled by my transpor-
tatlon facilities colliding with cart.
Inc ether morning, as | sat at til
breakfast table, l read a story of thh
dreadful suffering of an epicurean mill
nonalre with govt, and [ locked al nv
breakfast as the landlady put it care
July down by my plate, and fell, sorry
That that suffering millionaire could not
change places with me for nineteen or
twenty years.
In matters of heart, too, poverty is a
remarkable blessing. l am yet a bach
elor. II had been rich I would have
Deen married man, for a rich man IS
practlcally defensel9ss under the cir
cumstaDces. Many a time and oft
have | known the uncomfortable bliss
OF loving some fair creature. MANY the
moonlight night that l have floated on
the lneApressible sweetness of a sum-
mer Sea of mutual condolences. Often
and often | have reveled in the ecstasy
OF what | fOndly hoped was reciprocal
affection, and am still left to continue
III the enjoyment of those delights.
WHAT married man is?
All, If they had only been as poor as
| am!
Yesterday my dearest friend wanted
to borrow $40 from me. If | had been
rich he would have got it and been my
debtor for life, and cur sweet and
strengthening friendship would have
persisted forever.
Five years age | wrote brilliant and
able article on the political situation.
ana the day after its appearance in
print prominent politician, who had
never before heard of me, came to talk
to HE about running for congress.
When he had been informed of my pc
cunlary condition he went away If it
bad been otherwise ! might have be.
come member of congress, possibly
a United States senator.
Verify, verify, poverty is a blessing.
A footpad stopped me at midnigh
Lot loTg ago and requested me to hold
up my hands, which l did. When he
had finished his examination of my eff
fects, he sighed sympathetically and
rendered me half dollar, which | ac-
Cepted in the kindly spirit it was in
tended. What d different tale would
have to tell had | been wealthy!
[ hear a knock on my door, and |
must stop and see my visitor. 1t is the
tax assessor, and l shall be glad TO meet
nim. 1t is not the rich who are gi7
to see the assessor. Life.