The San Francisco call., 1896-02-16
SOME OF THE QUEER NAMES
THAT NEWSPAPERS TAKE,
BY w. Q. MORROW.

BY w. Q.
new paper calling itself the Hen Man
is announced. This makes me wonder
whether newspaper can be man and a
man hen. After this has been settled
the next query will be why the paper is to
be devoted to the interests of men who are
hens instead OF those who are roosters or
| chicks, or why, if the paper is intended
M erely to foster the industry of raising
hens. roosters and chicks, which I take to
be necessary to the business, are excluded.
So long as we have newspapers that are
Breeders and Sportsmen, Stockmen and
mbermen these observations of the new
papers name may appear to be idle satire.
1t is legitimate, within bounds, for news
paper to take the name of the interest which
1t serves. For that matter, the new pub
Ication has far more appropriate name
than those of some very old and dignifed
papers. We have many in this blessed
country calling themselves Suns. egad
One, approaching the Creator with more
m odesty, announces that it is a New
Moon, which gives very little light and is
not nearly SO scintillating as the innum-
erable Stars that, moved by their great
condescension and magnanimity, have
t AIKEN them selves out of Jehovah's crown
to settle upon this poor earth and send
their radiance into the dark ways of men
1t may be that to persons without nerves
| or an appreciation Of the fitness of things
the pompous names carried by some of the
| ne wspapers of this noble country give no
! offense, and that even the iudicious, who
| may have been at one time grieved, have
had their souls calloused by repeated scar
ings; and it may be accordingly that these
foolish names no longer serve to make
their wearers ridiculous. We can become
accustomed TO many things.
The titles that are incorrectly used may
be grouped thus:
l. Those which are bonn mbastic or extrav-
agant.
| ,. Those in which metonymy and synec-
| doche (two very useful rhetorical hg-
ures when properly employed) are inap-
propriately used.
3. Those in which the title bears no rela-
tion to the publication. either literally or
! figuratiyely.
| 4. Those which are doubled or COM
| pounded.
5. Those which are hackneyed.
! As 1t is more convenient to discuss these
without reference to the order in which 1
have placed them (the list being more for
suggestion than direction) | shall open the
| subject at random by recalling facetious
article which the New York Sun once
| published about the title of the Louisville
| Courier-Journal. The Sun has a very
| short name, of which fact. not its name, 1t
IS prodiglously proud. The article was an
elaborate calculation showing how
many columns of space the Louisville
paper sacrifices annually in mentioning
| its own name. A. sillier argument could
not be imagined. 1t is becoming to the
| dignity OF any newspaper however long its
name to print it IN full; to express it by
! initials is not only absurd and undignified,
| but confusing as well. 1t is not the length
of the Courier-JournaPs title that is to be
complained of, for it is better to have
long title that is sensible than short one
| that is silly. The fault with the Louisville
papers title is that it is compound. Its
absurdity when so regarded appears at
once. journal is a perfectly proper name
| for daily paper, for it comes from the
French word jour, meaning day. | am
aware that there is authority for calling
| papers other than dailies journals, but
decline to acknowledge it. Having a
proper literal name for itself in Journal it
is Darbarous to couple 1T with a name
employed in a fgurative sense, for a news
paper is not literally courier. But how
ever crude and illogical this title may be
lit is not half so absurd as Sun.
| Compound titles have resulted from the
| consolidation OF two papers having differ
ent names, and both names have been
| preserved for commercial reasons-if, on
| consolidation, one of the titles should be
dropped, some rascally publisher might in
| wade the field with paper of that name
to the injury of the consolidated interest.
A rational solution of such difficulty
| would seem to be either legislation pre-
venting such usurpation for a reasonable
time, or sufficient self-contidence on the
part of the consolidation to hold its own
against all corners. The perpetua ton of a
l do la Ia ic <>fx l.
and proclamation of bad taste and often
of lack OF respect for the English Ian
guage.
Imagine, if possible, a comic paper call
ing itself Judge! Imagine too, another
calling itself Life A clown that announces
himself to be either Judge or to repre-
| sent the hard and bitter round of life
| ceases to be a clown, who must have wit,
and becomes an idiot. Such titles so used
| are untruthfui.
The Suns. Moons and Stars are not the
only bom5astic titles that afflict US. We have
Standards, llluminators, Radiators (Hea-
| ven save the mark y, Leaders, Pilots
Globes (Which might be good name for
new orange or apple), Tribunes (obso-
| lete, as we'll as sente ntious), Statesmen,
Manifestoes, Palladiums, Mentors and the
| like. The Police Gazette is better named
than any Of them. At the extreme oppo-
! site end of the line stand those papers con-
ible of all titles-Spy. Happily, we have
no Slanderers Paul Prys or Maggots. We
are too pLoud for that.
Hackneyed names are abundant. The
woods are full of Heralds Ga bad name, be-
cause herald is not only archaic, but in
feudal times was bearer of messages, not
news), Newses. Couriers bearers of orders,
not news), Bulletins, Posts (meaning let
ter-borne news and excluding telegraphic),
Records, Illnesses, Independents (how?j,
Enterprises, Reports, Standards, Observ-
ers, Registers, Advertisers (not newspa-
pers. mind), Gazettes, Sentinels, Beacons,
Leaders, Examiners THAT is, receivers, not
news-givers), Expresses describing papers
whose matter must all be received by ex-
press, or which themselves are an express),
Unions, Ledgers Ga ledger is solely a book
IN which accounts are kept, Advocates,
Arguses, Mirrors (Which properly can pre-
sent nothing Originally, Eras (Which p,
Bees (because they sting or lay up honey
| hrrr, fnr,c E4t