Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-23
MISCELLANEOUS.
Mr.. and Mrs. BOWser.

When Mr.. Bowser let himself into
the house with a latch-key, Mrs,
Bowser was sitting in the back par.
ior. She knew by the way he banged
the door shut and scuffed around the
hall that something had happened
and nerved herself to meet it. She
gave him a wifely greeting, but he
glared at her In return and growled :
"Never mind putting yourself
out for me on this special occasion,
Mrs. Bowser! After dinner want
10 have talk with youw
Has anything happened, dear P"
she anxiously queried.
"You will be informed in due
time. l suppose dinner is half an
hour late, as usual ?"
"Dinner has been ready for five
minutes, dear. You have never had
to wait over five minutes for dinner
since we were married"
He scuffed into the dining-room
and took his place at the table with
the demeanor of a boy threatened
with whipping, found fault with
everything at the board and left
most of Mrs. Bowser's questions un-
answered. Her policy was to smooth
away the clouds, but he wouldn't
have 1t. When they had finished
the meal and returned to the family
room his pent up feelings burst
forth with:
Now, then, Mrs. Bowser, / want
to know whether this house is run
by the superintendent of some idiot
asylum or by the woman made nv
wife several years ago to take care
Of my home ?"
Why, what is wrong ?" she
gasped. -
why, everything is wrong y, he
shouted as he pumped down on the
lounge and bobbed up again. "IfI
should try to run a hen-roost on
your system of managing this house
every blamed hen would be dead
within a fortnight! There's no real
system-no management-no moth
ing, and I tell you don't propose
to put up with such a muss any
longer!"
Please tell me what particular
thing you find fault with" said Mrs.
Bowser, as she realized that he had
had bad day at the office and
wanted to get square by pitching
into her.
"What particular things I" he al
most yelled as he wheeled around
facing her. "Mrs. Bowser, wear
socks I"
Yes, know.n
81 hadn't reached the office when
my right heel began to hurt and
have been martyr all day. What
was the reason? Holes In my sock
great big yawning holes which
any other wife would have discov-
cred and mendedl What are you
smiling about?"
MIR. Bowser, we oversight our
selves. You hurled down and got q
bite of breakfas and was gone be-
fore l got up. Instead of having
holes In your socks you managed to
pull one of my stockings over your
foot. That's what hurt your foot all
day."
81 deny it. I deny ii in toto! I
may have my failings, but am not
an idiot !! Put on one of your stock
ings! Don't try to crawl out of 1t
that way, Mrs. Bowser! I'll soon
show you that 1 know what I'm
talking about !"
He sat down and unlaced his shoe
and kicked it five feet away. Then
he pulled up the leg of his trousers
and there was his foot in Mrs. Bow
ser's stocking, or about half way In
It..
"Didn't / tell you so ?" she ex-
claimed. 81 found your sock and
missed my stocking when got up
to dress"
"Mrs. Bowser," he said, as he
pulled the stocking off and got up
and limped about, "wbat do you
think Of wife who'll send her hus-
band out among men with such
handkerchief as this? Gaze on 1t !?
Is that handkerchief or a table
napkin? Imagine my feelings as
pulled 1t out In a crowded car to
wipe of my chin! When table nap
kins are placed among my handker-
chiefs haven't I a right to complain
Of the way this house is run ?n
1t was never placed there - she
spiritly replied. cit was your nap.
kin at breakfast. You left your
handkerchief on the table and put
the napkin In your pocket. Any
thing else 2"
Anything else! I should say