The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1896-04-30
HOSTESS AND GUESTS
Some or the Unwritten Laws That Cover
the House Party.

been SO much part OF American social
life, that few rules governing them
may not be out Of place.
The average invitation Is for four
nights. from Tuesday to Saturday, and
only intimate friends are invited to re.
main beyond that day. The hour o.
arrival is not left entirely to the dis
erection Of the guests, and the hostess
either mentions the hour at which the
most convenient train will arrive, or
requests them to tell her by what train
she may expect them. When q long
notice is given, these details are ar
ranged within week OF visit, but L
is an understood thing tnat guests
should arrive between 5 and . o'clock
p. M, IL possible, and not early in the
afternoon; neither sholld they leave i
doubtful as to what time Of the day
they intend arriving, as IL would be
an awkward contretemps to find tho
hostess not at home on arrival, and to
have anticipated her welcome by
couple OF hours.
Punctuality AZ meals Is one OF the
eanons of good taste on the part OF
guests. At dinner party, either in
town or country, host and hostess
have to submit to the inevitable and
wait with what patience they can for
tardy arrivals; but guests under the
roof of hosts and hostess have no such
latitude allowed them, and at the Sec
ond sound Of the gong they are expect
ed to assemble and await with their
entertainers the announcement Of
dinner, which follows within fiye to
ten minutes after the gong has sound,
Cd through the house. Early rising Ia
20 much OF a characteristic of the
times, that to be puactual TO breakfast
Is scarcely merit, and il Is no longer
considered ultra-fashionable to appear
long after the recognized breakfast
hour. Ten minutes grace Is
tacitly conceded, not that the
host and hostess wait for
these guests at this meal. but that no
excuse is needed for so slight delay.
Again, at luncheon guests are ex-
pected TO obey the call Of the gong TO
the minute, even II they have not
already found their way TO the draw.
ing room before the luncheon hour has
struck. Afternoon tea demands only
seni-punctuality, but guests seldom
take advantage OF this. and are pro.
verbally true to the tryst. The gentle
men of a party, on the other hand, are
seldom in at luncheon time, and their
appearance at the tea hour Is not 10 bs
counted upon. A late return from
shooting in grimy and muddy condi.
ton often induces them 70 hide and
rest In the smoking room rather than
TO array themselves for conquest
There ara men, however, who would
not miss the tea hour with the ladies'.
and so make a hasty toilet after q days
shooting 70 Join them.
As with the-meals or She day, 81
with every engagement throughout ii
guests are expected 10 be ready at the
hour named for whatever expedition is
set on foot, and not TO keep their host.
ess and others Of party waiting Their
tsrdy appearance. Providing tina,
guests take the trouble TO be punetual
their individual idiosyucrasies do no,
strike their hostess unpleasantly II any
such come 70 the front. They are par,
Of a party, and their individuality i'm
presses itself more upon their fellow.
guests than upon their hostess; the re.
verse is the case when a hostess ha.
but one guest in place Of many. Then
Il is that the bearing OF guest make,
) visit n success or . failure. q,
bar as the pleasure derived from
Il by hostess a concerned
Almost every hostess has come
scross . guest who has proved
somewhat impossible. difficult 70 arnrs.
and please, and selfishly inconsiderafe
and who contrasted unfavorably viii
some sweet, charming and considerat,
one who had Immediately preceded
her and whose departure was felt with
Is keen regret as that Of her prede
ressor's was hailed with relief II
might be supposed that ladies' wher
guests IN . house would make the best
Of adverse circumstances, 70 wit, th,
weather; but, as . fact, they compar,
anfavorably with the men Of n party
who. although shut mp In a house, and
dcbarred from shooting By reason o
weeping skies and waiting winds, yet
and solace when no striking or lovel,
female element Is present IN the smok
ing room, where they envelope them.
selves In clouds Of tobacco smoke, and
give nd anxiety as regards what 10 d
with them, 70 either host or hostess.
Guests are expected 70 follow tn,
lad Of their hostess on every occasion
from morning 70 evening. She give
the signal and takes the initiative
whether In the dining room after eacl
meal, or IN the drawing room az tn,
different hours Of the day, and at IL
close she makes the move for the gen
sral dispersal, which rests with be
and not with her guests
Although II Is the rule for q host q
,end 10 the railway station for hi
guests, yet when the party IL q larg.
one. he can only convey . certain nun
Der. and not all; should this be th,
sase, fys have 20 be ordered before
hand By the guests themselves wher
nade aware that II Il not possible /,
ssnd 70 meet the train By whish the,
lpyel. but i Is principally The singh
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First National bank Of Worcestet
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The commission % locate che pos
lion Of Massachusetts, troops on %
battlefield 81 Antietam, has LEFT 10
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