Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-11-06
IN THE HEATER PIPE.
THE RETIRED BURGLAR RELATES HIS
MOST SINGULAR EXPERIENCE.
lie Had an Elegant Lay Ont OF Wedding
Presents ut His Mercy When He Made
an Unfortunate Step-In the End ne


Made "a GoDtTibuti3.. ID go Collection.
"In house that ! v'lg looking over
I'm towr "a the s-u'a one n.Sht. said
the retired buY9i;r. I oG,1a across
something that | never struck Lat mat
once in all ny eXr-tiCnce, strange as it
may seem, and that was lot Of we'd
ling presents. al j..st as they were ar
ranged for display. When l turned my
lamp into mo loom, / wished had
brought horse and con; there was
a good deal II it tn. ouldn't have
been of any earthly use 10 me, but it
seemed a pitr 10 lowe 10y Of it behind.
But if cCu.GI t carry it all off, could
have the fun of picking, and l started
TO look the things over. They were ar
ranged on tables and chairs and on the
floor around on three sides Of the room (;
N the side opposite 10 the side that
had come in at, and on the sides to the
right and left; running around those
hree sides in a sort of irregular order.
On the side where | was there were a
few chairs. j thought I'd start in on
the left and work around 10 the right,
and / started from the door and had
gone about three steps when / went
down through the floor, as ii seemed to
ne, but what / bad really done was to
step down through an open register. /
suppose somebody must have dropped
something down through it and have
aiken it out to get 1T and forgot to put
I back.
'There was wire screen under the
register over the pipe opening to keep
things from dropping down the pipe,
bat it was very fine light wire. and il
l:dn't stop me at all; just slid down
INTO the pipe pushing that along under
my feet When / dropped into the pipe,
had been facing To the left; in some
way as went down got skewed around
so that when l got down as far as / did
go l was facing to the front; that is,
toward the center of the room The
pipe didn't go straight down, but with
a curve. had thrown up my hands as
went down, and l suppose / might
have gone plumb to the furnace if
hadn' clutched at the edge of the regis.
ier opening and hung on. A minute be-
fore l was going to take my pick Of .
roomful; now where was L?
Il had started across the room carry
ing my toolhag in one hand and my
lamp in the other. The shock when
went down had shaken the bag out Of
my hand, but l had held on to my lamp,
though it was lying on its side now
with my fingers clutching through the
handle The falling Of the toolbag and
The striking of the lamp on the floor
and the scrapiug Of the wire gauze
down through the tin pipe must have
made all together good deal Of noise,
and / expected every minute TO hear
somebody moving about up stairs and
coming down TO haul me out, but no.
body did come, and / set my lamp up
straight, and after I'd waited q minute
or two more l started 10 see if / could
haul myself out.
"As l lay in tie pipe my head was
below the level of The Acor; by great
effort l could raise myself so that the
upper half of Lay head was above the
opening, but no higher; there was &c
room for play; when l got that high, l
found myself with my elbows close to
my body and fairly wedged into the
pipe; couldn't get any higher.
Il let myself down again, and after
awhile / pulled myself up again, and
held on by one hand and held up the
lamp and swung it round on the things
Then let myself down again, and won
dered what i was going to do. 1t WASH I
unly uncomfortable there in the posi-
ton / was III, it was mighty hot and
unpleasant every way. II l let 60, !
didn't know but that I'd slide down
against the furnace, and, Of course, |
couldn' { stand IL for an indefinite length
Of time, and when I'd been i'll the pipe
| should imagine about two hours, /
made up my mind that i wouldn't try
to stand it any longer; I'd got to come
out some time, and might just as well
come out then; in fact, better, for while
the chances of my getting away at all
were mighty small, they would be bet
ter at night than icy would be III the
daytime.
$50 made up my mind TO kick ON
the pipe and wake up the house and
have the thing settled. So / kicked
once, twice, and then l kicked again ,
and by snakes l kicked the pipe open
at my feet. There was joint there, and
I'd kicked it apart, and the sections l
was in sagged down with my weight,
and l slid out on the cellar floor. The
sagging down Of that part Of the pipe
detached it from the part above and it
fell on the cellar floor alongside Of me.
That made noise enough to wake every
body up; there couldn't be any doubt
about that.
II went ont by the same cellar win
dow that came in by. II was the first
and only such lot Of stuff that / ever
strnck, and | never got thing out Of
it; in fact, added something TO it my
self-a set Of tools and dark lantern. ="
New York Sun.
"The Pyramid Limp"
1,,,,,, ne - hoe Gonna