davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

In the house we never know what the
plumber will do; he drinks so. Tom
says he has his doubts about our well.
By-the-bye, will you have some tea ?
Second Friend (earnestly)--No, thank
you.
drink aerated waters in q dry season
like this. You see large town has its
advantages.
Second Friend-My dear Mrs. Rails
ton, you stagger me.
Mrs. Ralston-I thought I should.
Iut here comes Tom and your friend.
lie hates to hear me talk of village mat
ters; so, as have lots more to tell you,
we might take turn in the garden our
selves.
(Enter Palston and First Friendly
Mrs. Ralston-Tom, dear we are 20.
ing for a stroll in the garden. (To
Second FricnO. There is really quite
pretty view, and the fog won't begin
to rise for another hour. exit Mrs
Ralston and Second Friend.)
First Friend (heartily)-I am pleased
to see you again, old man. l almost
lost sight of you after your marriage.
Ralston (gloomily)--Of course; q
wife always loathes her husbands
bachelor friends (grimly) unless she
likes them too much to be pleasant;
but man can pay her bacll-(with res
ignation)--by loathing her relations.
First Friend-How bitter you are!
But it is always the same; man never
knows when he is happy.
Ralston-He knows when he was
happy.
First Friend-Nonsense. What more
can II man want than charming wife,
jolly children, q rose covered
Ralston-Sentiment as everl You
have no idea of married life.
First Friend-I can at least imagine
a long, sweet dream
Ralston (sharply)-Nightmare, you
mean. I've lost my liberty, and, accord
ing to the rules, should help you to lose
yours. But won't. AS an old friend |
give you my candid opinion: Matri-
lnony is the very deuce. To begin with
just think of the economiesl
First Friend (nervously)-Of course
a man must be prepared to make sacri-
fees.
Ralston-So might woman. Ny
wife spends more on dress every year
Then l have given up my club to please
her.
First FRIENDSHIP wants to have you
with her always. How beautiful is true
love! (Sighs.)
Ralston-You call it true love; 1 cal
il true jealousy. If stayed in town to
dine with one of you boys she would
sob she was deserted. Yet, when I'm
down here, she merely grumbles. Not
that | blame her for that; the place is
beastly dull, and its her sole amusc.
ment
First Friend (tal1ing him anxiously
by the arm)-Surely, you're joking?
Ralston-Joking! Iwish to goodness
[ were. You want to marry as senti
mental experiment. So did l. My ex.
pertinent failed. So will yours.
First Friendly Jove, you stagger
me!
Ralston-I thought should. walk
ing to window,) Pretty view, isn't it ?
Hello, here comes your Fidus Achates
I'm sure he's been talking about his
health, he locks so confoundedly mis-
cradle.
(Enter Mrs. Ralston and Second
Friend. Mrs. Ralston crosses over to
speak to her husband and the two
friends stand together.)
First Friend (sotto voce)-By the
bye, old man, l was joking when ]
limited that contemplated matrimony
You quite understand that2
Second Friend-Oh, of course. And
that little fiat of mine is very comfort
ables We've had some jolly times there,
eh2~I think l shall renew the lease
It's very healthy.-Black and White.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Are the eyes l love black, brown or blue?
1t matters not what is their shade or hue,
so long as they are loving, tender, true.
They may be blue as bluest summer sky,
Or brown and black in deepest shades may
vie;
love the soul which meets mine through
the eye.
The eyes which tell me all care to know,
Whose orbs with sympathetic fervor glow,
And all the heart within on me bestow.
The wide world holdeth none that can
excel;
The soul within them doth my soul impel
Dear eyes, l thank them for the tale they
tell,
m Y Tribune
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Hero (modern drama)-Great heav-
ems! My rival has just arranged TO con-
vey the fatal paper to 1rene's father.
Lost. Lost! Lost!
Stanch Friend-I fear the worst.
But stay! How sends he the paper?
''By messenger boy"
"Ah! ] have it! Give the boy q
nickel to buy some marbles or crap
dice"
"Saved!"-N. Y. Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

There's no excuse for family Jars;
'Tis selfishness our pleasure mars;
The wife insists on this or that,
The husband differs-then a spat-
A tickle, foolish falling out
Some words, some tears, n little pout:
Because they have not learned to share
Each others wishes, and forbear.
My wife and a plan devised
Whereby all points are compromised.
Though differences arise, with us,
We settle them without a fuss.
And how much better tits to find
One to the others views resigned;
1t matters not what may say.
We compromise-she has her way.
Il. a. w. Bulletin
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Rural Editor (meditatively) - How
seldom we know what is best for us.
Here I've been pitching into the inter
state commerce law for l6 months.
Heaven forgive me!
Assistant--Eh?
81 should have been on that train
which plunged into that open switch
last night if kind Providence in His in
scrutable wisdom had not saved me- |
could not get pass."-N. Y. Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Old Lady (compassionatelyl Poor
fellow! suppose your blindness is in
durable. Have you ever been treated?
Blind Man (sighing)-Yes. mum, but
not often. 'Tain't many as likes to ba
seen goin' into saloon with a blind
beggar.-N. Y. World.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Before the English missionary was
half gone the king of the Ooglyzooks
suddenly gasped, turned purple, and
falling under what would have beer.
the table If cannibals ever used such
things, expired in great agony.
The coroner's jury sat on him at once.
"Dicd from foreign subject lodging
in his throat" was their verdict.-N.
Y. Recorder.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

They tell me he has got pretty wife
and two lovely children. In such bow
er of roses his life must be one long
dream of domestic felicity. A summer
idyll the year round. (Sighs senti-
mentality
Second Friend-I can't tquite see how It
can be that in the winter, but (takilg u
breath as if preparatory to long-dis-
tance dive) envy him this air; it's like
champagne. He's on sand, fancy, and
just see the fall the lucky dog has got
for his drains. None of your London
fogs, or germs or bacteria here; 45 min
utes by train and he leaves all that be-
hind. When the lease of my little fiat
runs out, of pack to the country my
self
First Friend-Nonsense; you make
your health a regular fetish.
First Friend-Well; isn't health the
first thing in life?
First Fricnd-Possibly but you'll
never forget your own ailments till yol
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13
Even,

Mills--Say, for Heavens sake, let's
get out Of here. Here comes de Brace
and he is a papa for the first time.
He'll drive us crazy.
Hills-Oh, let him come. I've just
bought bicycle.-N. Y. World.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Inc modern Muse.
! wrote a little poem; twas bright and
sweet and gay
The cleverest and best I'd done for many
and many day,
! sent it to an editor-alas! my hopes were
vain!
He coldly wrote: Returned with thanks"
and sent 1t back again.
And then I took that poem apart and tried
new invention;
I put 1t into dialect past human compre-
hension
Obscured the sense, and spoiled the rhyme,
and mailed the shapeless wreck
Back to that self-same editor-who prompt-
ly sent check!
m. Y. Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

waiter" called the indignant guest
to the careless attendant, who had
spilled some of the toasted cheese on
the tablecloth. 81 wish you would
clear off these Welah-rabbit tracks,
Chicago Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

An odd little bonnet looks much like
a velvet crescent rcsing upon the hair.
1t is trimmed with two small curly tips
Very wide ribbons are fastened at the
back of the crescent, one at each side.
They are supposed to encircle the Eng
lish bun couture ard tie beneath it in q
huge how.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Ada-How can you be so insincere ?
You said you were sorry you were out
when he called.
Ida-No; l said was sorry he called
when l was out.
Ada-Well?
Ida-He is likely to call some time
when l am mn. Y. Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

He-I thought Mrs. Brown seemed
quite cold toward her husband.
She-Yes;she wants him to get her a
sealsllin cape.-Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Ethel (aged six)-I don't love you
any more, grandpa.
Grandpa-Why not, Ethel?
Ethel-'Cause L love you so much al
ready that | couldn't love you any more
il l trieq. Please give me five cents
n. Y. Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13
SCME FANCY STITCHES.
They VIII Not Strain the Eyes Like Gem
Inc Embroidery.

They VIII Not Strain the Eyes Like Genu-
Inc Embroidery.
Embroidery is difficult art and one
which it is not always advisable to learn.
Girls with weak eyes should be content
with simple fancy work, which, if done
neatly, will give pleasure, and will not
strain the eyes like the elaborate details
of genuine embroidery.
There is a secret in producing good
outline leaf. 1t is this: Begin always
at the stem end and work toward the tip.
The stitches should be reversed, that is,
should slant in opposite directions on
he two sides of the leaf. Take any
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

"Gad, farley, that necl1-tie you have
on is out of sight"
81 wish it was; it's one my wife
bought. Bazaar.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

There was little schoolma'a am
Who had this curious way
OF drilling in subtraction
On every stormy day:
".et's all subtract unpleasant things
/ like doleful dumps and pain.
" then" said she, you'll gladly see
| !. hat pleasant things remain"
Anna Nj. Pratt, in st. Nicholas
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13
THE FORCE OF EXAMPLE.

Scene-Drawing-room with French win
dows opening on a lawn with flower beds.
In the distance, woods in the glory or
autumnal foliage. Time, six o'clock p m.
Enter smart maid, ushering two bachelor
friends of some rs and so years of age, re-
aDecttEelV
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

She-Why does woman take mans
name when she marries him?
He-Why does she take everything
else he's got?-Truth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

The brook looked up in the Iceman's face,
And bubbled in gurgling glee:
1.-THE lake beyond is the place for you--
You cut no ice with me-"
Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

L'LECTlON NOTlCE.-Notcc is hereby
~ given that at the election To be held ON
the third Tuesday of February, 1896, being the
eighteenth day of that month, the following
officers of the middle coal field poor district
are to be elected, to wit:
One person for director, to serve three years
from April l. 1896 whose residence must be in
that portion of the district comprising the up
per or liaZctOn district.
One person for auditor, to serve three years
from April !, 1886 whose residence must he in
that part of the district which is composed of
the boruughs of Muuch Chunk, East Mauch
Chunk, Lanstord and summit Hin, and the
township of Mnuch Chunk, in Carbon county.
Samuel llarlcmun,
y. :. Monroe, Directors
james McCready, J
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

"Does Willie tell lies, Georgic?"
'No'm, don't think he does"
"What makes you think that?"
''He gifts so many lickin's. s."-Chicago
Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

The widows weeds of that latter day,
After the tear has dried that started,
Grow oftenest, l grieve to say,
Upon the grave of the dear departed.
Bay City Chat
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Father-What was your mother talk,
ing about just now?
Son-I don't know.
Father-Why, you saw and heard it
all!
Son-Yes, but she was talking TO the
baby,-London Judge.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13
How He Came by 1t.

"Did the colonel get his title in the
WARP"
Not much"
"Where, then?" ..-.,.
"Fightin' for office. Atlanta Consti,
tuition.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

AID Ito Fir S t
Friend) - Master
and missis is in
the garden, sir. If
y o IL please to
wait here, I'll go
and find t h c IN.
(Exit.)
FRS t Friend
(walking TO t h e
window)-What a
fortunate fellow
TT on, RolStoD is
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13
WRITING DESK LAMP.
Quite the Latest Fad for Up-to-Date Let
ter Wrltars.

ter Writers.
While some conservative people have
never given up sealing their letters
with wax, it is only within short time
that fashion has decyeed it the only
proper way to fasten the envelope.
Now comes a new fad in the shape of
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13


Anthracite coal used exclusively insuring
cleanliness and comfort.
ARRANGEMENT OF PASSENGER TRAINS.
LEAVE FREELAND.
sos, s 25, . 33 10 Al a M, 35, 227, 3 Is, 81,
= IL, q IS, s Ol, 81 III, for Drfton, Jeddo Lum-
Der Yard, Stockton and lIaZlctOn.
65, 5 % 9 33 II m, 30, 10, 4 81 p m, for
Mauch Chunk, Allentown, bethlehem, Phila
6 O5, 0S3, IO4l a m, 227, 425, 8 5s p m, for
Mahan@y Ia q y city, Shenandoah and Pottsville;
Il I@i H. 10 81 ia a M m II q; 4 "a pm, via High
Wilkes-Barre, PittstOn and l.. and b. junction.
SUNDAY TRAINS.
II 40 m nd32i m for Drifton, Jeddo, Lum-
Der Yard and Hazeton.
32I pm for Delano, Mahanoy City, Shenan-
doah New York and Philadelphia.
ARRIVE AT FREELAND.
726, 927, 10 sc, Il 81 M, l2 IS, ? l3, 81 80,
. 5S, s A p m from llazleton, Stockton, Lum-
Der Yard, Jeddo and Drifton.
. ~, 92l, ~ 56 IL M, : ID, 4 "a, 5S M, from
Delano, Mahanoy City and Shenandoah tvia
Il 81, 533, a pm, from New York, Easton
Philadelphia, Bethlehem, Allentown and Mauch
927, 10 So a m. IL ~, 5 81, G rs, SAY m, from
Easton, Phila., Bethlehem and Mauch Chunk.
9b5, III VI III, "a, q d p III from White Haven,
Glen summit, Wilkes Barre, Pittston and l.. ant
Is. Junction via Highland BranCh).
SUNDAY TRAINS.
Il 81 m and 10 p m, from Hazleton, Lum-
ber Yard, Jeddo and DriftOn.
II 81 m from Dclano, Hazlcton, Philadelphia
and Easton.
3lOp m from Delano and Mahanoy region.
For further information inquire of Ticket
Agents.
CHAS. S. LEE, Genl Pass. Agent,
,,., Phila., Pa.
a. w. NONNEMACHER,A Asst G. Z. A.,
South Bethlehem, Pa
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

"Sir, am q self-made mani"
"Honest confession is good for the
soul."-Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

Watch the date on your paper,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-02-13

CIIAS. 5. LEE, Gon'l Pass. Agent,
.. Phila., Pa.
a. w. NONNEMACHER,A Asst G. Z. A.,
South Bethlehem, Pa
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-04-01

glass of beer, saying that perhaps officer
Goggans would take a glass, but officer
Goggans refused to drink. He never
knew officer Goggans to take a drink in
the saloon at any time
f. o. Sheridan testified that he was
in Dunker'S saloon on the occasion re-
ported and ordered the beer for him
self and one for officer Goggans, but Of
ficer Goggans declined it. Officer Goggans
did not sit at the table, but stood by 1T a
minute or two, with his hand on the ia
BILE when Captain Weir entered.
officer Goggans said that he was suf-
fering from nausea and went into the
rear of the saloon for physical relief. He
did not drink the beer. 1t was
drunk by the bartender. He left
with Captain Weir. The latter told
hmthat when he caught Goggans he was
not laying for him." If he had been
he could have caught him before. Of
ficer Goggans assented, and said that he
could have been caught many times
that all the officers could be caught vio-
lating one rule or another every day.
rigorous rules without breaking one or
more of them. officer Goggans said that
he was sick on the night of the report
and went to Williams drug store for
medicine before he went to the saloon.
The other charge, that of taking whis-
ky with him to police headquarters, was
not entered into. The commission adj
journed at O'Clock without decision,
to meet tonight at 1880 o'clock. AT this
meeting the case against officer Bodeker
will also be heard, who, it will be remem-
bered, recently shot and killed Frank
Buchanan through mistake.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-04-01

ard advocate. On the money question he
is that and nothing else.
The policy of bimetallism means no
more nor less than what the last demon
cratic platform defined. the coinage of
gold and silver without charge or dis
elimination against either at the minis
and the use of both as standard money.
Mr. Clarke advocates the present status,
which employs silver as a mental unfit
for company with gold.
Those who have been deceived by Mr..
Clarke who have it in their hearts to be
bimetallists have surely given the sub
ject but Indifferent consideration We
would not charge them with stupidity,
but merely lack of thought. They SIM
ply haven't taken a good look or they
would see sticking out somewhere the
sharp, greedy teeth and the long, sneak
ing tail of the monometallic wolf in the
bimetallic sleeps clothing.
AT any rate they are no worse fooled
than the poor little Montgomery News.
one of Mr.. Clarke's supporters at the
capital, which came to hand yesterday
with the following profoundly epigram-
matte paragraph:
Eyes, all the real bimetallists that we
know anything of are advocates of a gold
standard They surely do not advocate
a silver standard"
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-04-01
EDITOR ALEX MCCLURE
Steps Out to Breathe Birmingham Air for
Few Minutes.

Col. A. K. Mcclure passed through the
city yesterday forenoon In a special car en-
route to Nashville, where he spoke in favor
of Sound money" last night State
Herald reporter espied Colonel Mcclure
yesterday morning as he stepped to the
platform from his car. The reporter
sought an interview, which was readily
granted. Colonel Mcclure, from his per-
sonal observation, could not tell which way
the straw points on the money question in
Alabama. Both sides seem confident of vic
tory. and, of course, he is sorry that there
Is any doubt about II. Alabama has the
eyes of the country on her and in either
event, whether she declares for silver or
gold, her action will carry great influence.
She, being the first viii set the pace to
southern states.
Mr.. Mcclure also said: Captain John
ston Is most estimable gentleman. He Is
my personal friend. and have enjoyed the
hospitality of his home. With such a man
as a leader can easily see that he would
What candidate" asked the State Her.
aid reporter. Stands the most favorably in
the party eve for the presidential nomina-
II would take the field against Mckinley .
said Colonel Mcclure; though he is very
our party consider Mr. Whitney the most
favorable candidate, although, to be sure.
think the nomination at best will be an
is concerned. | think we will be beaten.
but we can go down with honors, and ii we
go> for sound money the party may be re-
called in 1900"
How He Looks.
Colonel Mcclure is tall broad shouldered
and hasn't an ounce of surplus flesh. He
wore ashlack suit of rich texture Over
this linen ulster kept the dust of travel
from his clothes He had a MANILA straw
hat on his head He is about 80 years old,
His hair Is quite white and his short
cropped moustache Is very gray also He
has brown eyes and a ruddy complexion.
Though his address has the smoothness of
the accomplished politician one easily sees
that the colonel Is a man of great means.
He puts his elegant CATERS upon a car step
with moneyed assurance. He could buy
several trains of palatial cars.
The colonel was accompanied by Mrs. Nc
Clure his two daughters and Miss Greer,
daughter of Admiral Greer
Mr.. r II, Clarke came to Birmingham on
the same train with Colonel Mcclure. Fin
route to this city he accepted an invitation
to Colonel McClure's car.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-04-01
DID HE DRINK ON DUTY?
Police Commissioners Investigating Officer
Goggans' Conduct, il

The police commission met yesterday
afternoon in special session for the ,pur-
pose of considering certain charges
against officer 1. T. Goggansl The
charges We're preferred by the chief of
police and alleged that officer iGoggans
had been guilty of the use of Intoxicating
liquor while in uniform, and also of car
rying liquor into police headquarters
contrary to the police regulations. On
the query Of Chairman Stephens officer
Goggans announced ready. "a
The witnesses were sworn and put I'M
der the rule. Captain Will Weir, the
only witness for the city, testified that
on the night of March 20 he found
officer Goggans in Dunker's saloon with
a civilian They had two glassds Of beer
on a table. He saw Officer Goggarls and
Officer Goggans saw him and laughed
saying that it would then be no worse to
drink 1T, but he (Goggans) did not do So
Captain Weir and Officer Goggans left
the saloon together shortly after.
A. r Williams testified that between
10 and IL O'Clock on the night of the re-
ported occurrence in Dunker's saloon
officer Goggans came to his drug store
and asked for a dose of medicine for a
weak stomach He offered Goggans whis-
ky, but he declined and asked for medi-
cine. He stated that officer Gnggaus
vomited before he took the medi1as
A. Smith, bartender in Dunker's saloon,
testified that Officer Cog ans came in the
saloon just after a party had ordered u
glass of beer. The man ordered another
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1896-04-01
The Champion Rosin Market

Savannah. Ca, March 3l.---The nava
stores season of 1885 closed today
Savannah still holds the distinction OF
being the largest market for spirits OF
turpentine and rosin in the world. The
receipts and exports during the past year
have greatly increased over any proceed
ing year. The previous year. with which
comparisons are made, was the largest
up to that time.
The total receipts of spirits IF turpen-
tine have been 303,702 casks, an increase
OF 1888 over those of 1S94-5. The ex.
ports have been 969 casks an increase
of 23,446 casks. The receipts of rosin
have been ,143,026 barrels, an increase OF
149, S92 barrels over those of 1S94-5. The
exports have been 1897, 1928 barrels, an
increase of So 497 barrels