Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1896-04-30
HEAR AN ASSESSOR.
NE RELATES HIS EXPERIENCE AND
GIVES A BIT OF ADVICE.

6O <h4oo ma 10vexV krooien-A R01H09
That Wa Cheap - Aay Psses-A Sesas
/ In Cppss IeodoR An Appeal Ter
! Courtesy to the Assessor.
When By telling the tush IN evil Il
pe-petrassd, then it is wrong to tell the
truth ! suppose thas is tie reason %
many people are doing good BY telling
faisehoods to personal properly aases-
ors The writer IL deputy Assessor IN
the west town, and at presen. he is com.
piHng book that Is full Of names and
figures The names are all right. bot
the man who said figures can't lie"
never assessed personal property.
There are about so Of rs assessors,
who form in Line at NJ move MP
70 window in Assessor Jacob 4
Hons west town oGce, HaymAxkes
Theater building, and get cur books and
blank schedules These cakskin covered
books contain little map q some par.
.icular district in the great West SidA
We move cot to these districts and 90
! 70 work The town clerk registers cur
oa.hs to faithfully perform the duties
81 an assessor. and tie people No -
ses do the res. Of the swearing. That
isn't all Sometimes they set tie dog
ca as and Otherwise treat us a. though
we were book ageotA That makes The
assessor warm. and then he interviews
Q neighbz regarding property that =
not accessible. And the Consequence -
people who bounced" the assessor will
find valuation placed upon their prop
erty that viii cause them 10 think there
il nothing certain but death and taxes
Occasionally we find poverty and pi.
ano together. The piano Is assessable,
and the poverty isn't II you aases the
piano, you increase the poverty, and
there you are.
These inconruities come up, and IN.
less you have the wisdom Of a board Of
equalization there is trouble Speaking
about this beard, have an idea that
they will Just abou. double the poor -
SCISSORS figures when they get down 70
work A keen assessoe can locate every
piano in his district II be doesn't hear
it, everybody else in the neighborhood
has, and they tell him about It asked
real nice looking lady the other day Il
she had piano, and she said mo"
why, yes, mamma. We have" aid
her little girl
The mother said: "Go into the house
this minute, you naughty girl How
dare you" And then the child knew she
had done something wrong. She had
told the truth to a nasty. mean assesses.
Invent into little candy store On tho
came street. To the woman behind the
counter stated my business
She replied: II am poor widow. Ny
God, what will I do:" Tears flowed
down her cheeks, and she sobbed a.
though her heart would break. The a.
SCISSOR felt so mean that he meaked out
without asking her name.
Even the parrots are down On assess-
ors- A Latin street bird told the as
SCISSOR to 90 to any number Of times
while he was conducting the linguistic.
rial ceremony.
THAT bird speaks very plainly" said
the writer.
"Just bear the dear fellow. He can
say - Just a. plainly as can win
sell him for SIS. There's bargain. I"
And the lady meant every word she said
A parrot that can cuss an assessor is dirt
cheap at any price
This Is how they do it On Ashland
boulevard: 4
Scene, front stoop Of . stone man.
sion Dramatis personae. lady with
Large diamonds in her ears Neglieee A.
tire. Assessor with book and an official
smila
LAdy-We are cleaning house today.
all topsy turvy. and you cannot come In
Assessoe-Not q all necessary. my
dear madam, that / should 60 in I
have brought this book and my imAgi-
nation along, and l can see all that II
necessary. I see that this is beautiful
. house, and the eye Of my Imagination
penetrates these walls see grand pi.
ano. statuaxy by Throwalstere, paint
ings by the old and new masters, tapes.
txies from India, carpets from Turkey,
china from Dresden, bric-a-bFac from
all parts Of the world-in short. every
thing that . Lady Of your exceptional
Judgment wooA use in emhelkahing
suoh . noble mansion as
LAdy-Sir!
AHessoe-While can hardly venture
to place . valuation upon such treas
ures I will be moderate and ny &c..
900.
Lady-DoitM you darei Come in and
zee.
The assessor went In and found his
mental picture scarcely ovesdrawn. but
the final courtesy caused slnmp in the
| valuation. gts-,
Here is . bit Of advice to persons who
are inclined TO resent the intrusion II
m Assessor. The advice does not cost .
cent, but II you do not act upon Il you
may b caused no end Of trouble and
money also Throw your door vida OPEN
70 the aaDsasog, invite him In, give him
70 understand that yoa- are The obliged
party and give him the information he
seeks, and it II 10 to ! that you win b
treated fairly. and . point q two may
be stretched In your favor. Shut him
out, and he will make . record o3 the
fact. and in fixing the valuation Of
your property ind nothing in your f.
voe. II you 60 to the Office with Jour
schedule, the fact that you refused ID.
mittance to the deputy 10 noted. and in
that event you viii pay all the law de-
mandA Side Assessor in Chica-
20 Timea- Herald
| Diplomatic.
Mr.. Hawkins. said abe. II with
you'd decide a bet between me and Mr..
Barrows BE says it il only 800 feet