davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

john P. Irish crying out against the
free coinage Of silver and denouncing
those who advoc~ tie it comes pretty
near being a case of SWIVEL service
reform.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

1t is proposed to hold a Mckinley
ratification meeting in this city one
week from tonight. Already the en-
thusiasm has been placed in an in
cubator.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

The Chicago Dispatch says that sill
yer dollars may be worth only So cents
apiece, but Madeline Pollard is ready
to accept 5000 of them in full pay
r1ent Of her court claim against Ken
tuclzy's silyer-tongued sinner, who ad-
dressed the sound money convention
Yesterday.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

General Palmer can point to the fact
that he was a Democrat before Mr..
Eryan was born. He can also point to
the fact that he was a Republican be-
fore Mr.. Bryan was born.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

To read the eastern papers one might
think that the Republican victory in
Vermont was a victory in every state
of the Union. Perhaps it is wise that
they shout now if they are to shout at
all
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

The New York Commercial Adver-
tiser. calling Roswell P. Flower IAN
American to the core" is one of the
amusing things of the present cam
paign.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Professor Fowler, the famous phre-
nologist, IS dead. It is not so stated,
but it is likely that his many bumps
caused conclusion of the BRAIN
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

General Palmer and General Buckner
fighting side by side would be a more
glorious spectacle than it is if they
were not fighting for the lost cause.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Bourke Cochran is to speak at Onaa-
ha- viii he talk the doctrines of
greenbackism or of goldbugism?
Creenbackism was his first love.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Fifteen thousand troops guard the sui
tans palace; but the padisnah seems to
have neither soldiers nor policemen to
spare when 1T becomes necessary TO pro-
lecu his Armenian subjects from the VOL
ence of Kurdish cutthroats and Moslem
fanatics.-Philadelphia Record.
1t is said that many American laborers
and others have gone to Mexico. This will
be especially noticeable after November
in the event that Major Mckinley is elect
ed. Many Americans, seeing no hope for
d permanent Improvement in business in
this country, Will go TO Mexico because
that country is progressing under the
stimulus of monetary standard which
does not appreciate.-Denver Republican.
If wisdom were represented by age, Nc
klnley would deserve the confidence of the
people. But when advancing years show
a greater laundering after Chinese states
manShlp the confidence becomes changed
into mistrust.-St. Louis Republic.
The gold cause seems just now to be
most distressed with the disposition of the
people to get together and uneducate
hemselves--Detroit Tribune.
Major McKinleys remarks to the West
Virginia editors indicate that he belongs
10 that very large class of people VINO
are fond of telling newspaper men how
run newspapers. Nevertheless, the
majors observations were sensible
Boston Herald.
From his point of vantage in the town
which he is visiting in Massachusetts Joe
Chamberlain ought to find it an easy mat
Ter to run down to Buzzard's Bay oc-
casionally and inspect the specimens of
Monroe doctrine which are kept on hand
there.-Chicago Record.
Work and wages have been cut in
two, said Mr.. Mex lnley to the West Vir-
GINA editors. Isn't it dangerous TO make
wild and self-evdently false statements
such as this? Do they not tend to cause
people to suspect that the man who utters
them is either a foolish fellow who never
knows what he is talking about, or else
a person who is reckless with the truth?
The truth never needs the crutches of eX-
aggeration, and their use is a confession
that the truth is not there.-New York
World.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

If Mckinley wants the editors to
subscribe to his views he should sub
scribe to their papers. There would
be some. reciprocity in that.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

The wreck of an excursion train near
English, Ind, is a very positive evil
dence that the excursion season is not
yet over.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

When Mr.. Cleveland's letter does
come it will probably be written in
vertical hand as his words are usually
straight up and down.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

If free silver would be a, good thing
at a future time, why would it not be
a good thing at the present time?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

When the Spanish burn Key West
ley will send a fleet to New York and
borlbard that city.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

If reading of a man being killed
could ever be pleasant it is to read of
a would-be train roober being killed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Mckinley has already ridden his old
hobby horse, protection, so much this
campaign that it is already jaded and
sore-backed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

They seem to have as good an idea
of how to lynch a man in Minnesota
as in Tennessee.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

The last song of the last cuckoo was
heard at Indianapolis. 1t was never
sweet to American ears
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

A niece of Mr.. Bryan's has eloped
She only follows a precedent set by a
daughter of the chief justice of the
supreme court.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Imitation am de sincerest f1attery.''
said Uncle Eben, '.but tain muffin but
fattery after ALL Most folks shows DAN
admiraciousness OBJ er great man by
copyin' his weakest p'ints.-Washingto
Star.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

The country has the free coinage of
phrases if not the free coinage of sill
yer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Miss Barton may go back to Turkey.
She should not tempt Providence too
often.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

In political campaign a public man
cannot touch pen without being defled.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08
HUMoR OF THE HOUR

A Subtle Distinction.-'T suppose you
have music at the hotel?"
No; but we have band. Harper S
Bazaar
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Vermont caught the flies with maple
nolasses.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Art Note-Her tire was punctured.
Alas" she sighed, woes me-" She was
the perfect picture of despair, albeit she
nal.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08
SALT LAKE HERALD. TUESDAY. SEPTEMBER 8, 1885,

you brush that fly off the top of your
head? He's been there three minutes
ooh, let him stay" said John. I'm not
using the top of my head just now
Harper's Bazaar.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Clerk-NIadame Belleanto wishes to en-
dorse our pianos
Piano Man-But she has endorsed them,
and she has endorsed all the leading
pianos.
Clerk-She is willing to state that ours
is the best piano she has ever endorsed.
Puck.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Cautious.-"Have you watered the cat
tie YETI" asked the farmer of his son.
Not head of 'em. 1 herd you say
at the grange last night that any Of those
fellers caught watering stock ought to
be sent to the penitentiary. I'm takin'
no chances. Detroit Free Press.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08
A RALLADE OF MY HOME.


Say. where is home-by sea or land,
Bright summer fields or silent shore,
In lowly cot or mansion grand,
In years to come or days of yore?
Tis where life's way is covered DER
With heartsease, fragrant, fresh and free,
So hear my song, oft sung before
Thy heart, dear love, is home to me.
In darkest moments when 1 stand
With feet most weary, heart most sore,
Thoughts often come in merry band,
True, tender dreams, from memory's
store,
OF long days when your clear eyes wore
The hue of skies and distant sea-
God left me, then, no boon to implore-
Your heart, dear love, was home to me.
Why heed the ills from fate's stern hand,
These woes that she doth on us pour?
Life's but an inn-We, guests trepanned
To pay an austere landlords score.
| pay it bravely and ignore
The roads mishaps-it leads to thee,
And there, by all true poets lore,
Thy heart, dear love, is home to me.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Amenities of the Future Caller-Pre-
sent my compliments to Miss Ariadne,
and ask her if it will be convenient for
her to be my wife.
Servant Ga moment later)-AIiss Ari-
adne sends her regards, and regrets to
say that she will be engaged until 8
o'clock.-Detroit Tribune.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

john said Mrs. wilbur, why don't
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Gandler-Did you make much of an i'm
preston upon Miss Gneissleigh?
Dumleigh-I did upon her father. He
apparently took me for a. great gun. At
all events, he fired me.-Boston Tran
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

Much free-silver sentiment out this
way?" asked the tourist.
"Much?" echoed Rubberneck Bill.
Much? Wy friend, it has got so that
every time a Teller has the jim-jams in
stead of imaginin' snakes in his boots.
he thinks his pockets is full of gold
tMenties. Fundamentals Journal
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08
ENVOY.

So bide We then, a short while more
TIL gentle death shall turn the key,
Swing wide at last the welcoming door,
And your dear heart be home to me.
-Wiifred S. Hackett in Chambers
Journal
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

All That's Needed-The proud father
was fairly beaming. you ought to hear
that boy of mine speak a piece" he said.
Good speaker, is he?"
Goods no name for it. Why his
teacher says he's the most precocious
boy orator in the school, and in another
year [ expect he'll be able to stampede
a Democratic convention and get most
any kind of nomination that he wants.
Chicago Evening Post.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-09-08

The gold cause seems just now to be
most distressed with the disposition of the
people to get together and uneducate
hemselves--Detroit Tribune.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
Thrift is a good revenue" Great
saving results from Cleanll-
SAPOL 10
Tours TO Florida,

No district in America presents,
during the Winter season, so many
varied attractions as the state of Flor
ida. Besides its delightful climate,
which to one escaping from the cold
and unhealthful changes Of the North
seems almost ethereal, it is pre- emf
nently land of sport and pleasure.
Along its eleven hundred miles of salt
water coast and in its twelve hundred
fresh-water lakes are fish of almost
every conceivable variety, from the
migratory tribes common to Northern
waters to the tatpon, pompano, and
others of a more tropical character.
Nowhere in all our broad land can
the angler find a greater variety of
game or better sport.
Here also the most enthusiastic
hunter finds safety. Deer, turkeys,
bears, panthers and wild cats roam at
large through the more sparsely set.
tied regions, while birds of all kinds
may be found in abundance through
out the state. The more novel sport
of alligator and manatee hunting may
also be INDUCED in by the more ad-
venturous tourist.
With its matchless climate, its or
ange groves. its rivers and lakes, its
fishing and hunting, and its extensive
forest, Florida presents unrlvalled at
fractions for the valetudinarlan, the
lover of nature, the sportsman, and
the explorer.
To this attractive State the Penn
sylvanla Railroad Company has ar
ranged four personally-conducted tours
during the season of 1897, leaving by
special train January go, February 9
and IS, and March 9. The first three
tours will admit of sojourn OF two
weeks in this delightful land; tickets
for the fourth tour will be valid to re.
turn until May 81 by regular trains.
Rates for the round trip, 5000
from New York, $48.oo from Phila-
delphia, and proportionate rates from
other points.
For tickets, itineraries, and other
information, apply to ticket agents,
special booking offices, or address
Geo. w. Boyd, Assistant General Pas
senger Agent, Broad Street Station,
Philadelphia. 1924 at.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
LARGEST BRAvpY STILL.
California Boasts an Establishment Turn
ing Out 10000 Gallons Daily.

California Boasts an EstRblishment Turn-
ing Out 10000 Gallons Daily.
The largest brandy still in the world
| IS at the El Pinal vineyard in San
| Joaquin County, not far from Stock
ton. Part of it has been built about
| four years and the other part was fin
| ished only a short time ago, AS is
well known, the FL Pinal vineyard
has always made speciality of brandy
and sweet wines. 1t was the intention
of the proprietors to do this when
they went into business, and for that
reason they had the largest still built
that was ever put up. That was, as
has been stated, about four years ago.
and even then it was ahead of any
thing in existence. 1t could produce
more brandy in twentyrfour hours
than any other still in the world, and
It has not been surpassed since. But
even that was not enough to supply
all the alcohol needed in their busi-
ness, so another still was built and
made to work in connection with the
original one The two are really one
still, as they are used, and have about
three times the capacity Of any other
still in the world.
This enormous machine is located in
a building by itself, and part of the
year is kept running day and night. II
is very complicated in its workings,
so that a description of that part Of II
cannot be attempted here. 1t will be
sufficient to state that the grape juice
or wine is pumped from watts to a tank
on top of the hill. From there it sim
ply passes through series OF heated
chambers in the form of vapor and
comes out in the shape of brandy.
1t can be tested in the different
chambers and the change noted. In
the first chamber it is little more than
warm wine and it gradually gets
stronger and stronger until it is sharp
to taste From the time the wine
leaves the tank until it comes out as
grape brandy only ten minutes is oc-
cupied. In the old method of distill-
ing it used to take about three hours.
In appearance the largest brandy
still in the world is simply a conglom-
Grafton of tanks, pipes and boilers.
The capacity of this still is enough to
make a person wonder what becomes
of all it's products. When running full
time it can convert $1,000 gallons OF
wine into brandy in a day. This will
make about 1000 gallons every twenty
four hours, or enough to keep about
10000 men in n state OF intoxication
during that time. In a month there
would be enough of brandy on hand to
intoxicate 100000 men, or about the
entire population of New York. But,
as it happens, very little Of this brandy
is sold as brandy. 1t is used to fortify
sweet wines. so that they will be in
condition to keep until ready to send
to market. The alcohol acts as a pre-
servative of the grape juice the same
as it would of anything else. 1t keeps
Call.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
No Patents in Japan.

No patent is granted to foreigner
in Japan. No foreign inventor, by
applying through Japanese citizen,
can obtain patent except by fraud
If patent were obtained by a false
representation that the japanese cit
zen was the inventor, and 1t was dis
covered that he was not, the patent
would be at once cancelled. 1t is pre-
cisely the same with trade marks and
designs-there is no registration and
no protection. The result is that all
goods of foreign produce and manu-
facture, of which the label is worth
copying, can be bought all over Japan
OF Japanese manufacture, and at a
quarter of fractional part of the
cost of the original and genuine
foreign made article.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
He Was Considerations.

There was an anxious, doubtful looA
On the young fellows face, as he paced
up and down the aisle in a Broadway
cable car the other evening There
we're half dozen seats, yet the young
nan took no notice OF them. and con.
inued his restless pacing to and fro.
Seats in front, plenty OF EN-" said
he conductor, brusquely.
The young man continued his patrol
A benevolent old gentleman pulled
aim by the coat and said: Here's a
ssat. SIR" The young man shook his
head.
A newcomer entered the car, and, be.
ing an altogether officious person.
pointed to the vacant seats. The young
MAN still walked.
Hello. Henryr' exclaimed a dappeI
young fellow, an acquaintance of the
pertpatetic, who just then bounced into
the car. "Why don't you sit down
What in the world makes you walk UT
and down like that?"
conscientious scruples," said the
young pedestrian. You see, l prom.
ised her that l would walk down to the
florist and get some roses for her. ]
would much have preferred to ride, you
snow. It's hot and dusty, and so I'm
compromising with myself by walking
md riding at the same time"
He turned on his heel and passed ur
he car.-New York Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
The Cops Presence of Mind.

We have great cause to be thankful
or the efficiency Of the police. The
ollowing incident we'll illustrates their
nvariable presence of mind A small
ooy happened to be crossing a bridge
Just as another small boy fell into the
water. A policeman asked the boy on
NE bridge whether he could swim. The
boy said he could, and with great pres
nce of mind the officer thereupon drop
jed him over the balustrade into the
river After a hard struggle the
boy who was dropped in succeeded in
.escuing the one who fell in. The po-
Iiceman has not yet been promoted for
nis bravery.--San Francisco Wave.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
Making IL Plain.

The young woman from Boston was
1t the table in a railroad restaurant in
the far West, and, when she essayed
10 cut the steak with which she had
been served. she discovered that what
she needed was higher education in
athletics. After four or five Intellectual
attempts to dissect it, she called to the
waiter.
"Cahn't you" she asked, "give me a
bit of steak which is characterized by
less tenacity of tissue?"
The waiter looked staggered and a
cowboy across the table looked up.
II didn't quite ketch, num-" said the
waiter, bending forward with his hand
20 his ear.
81 said"-and there was a shade OF
annoyance in her tone-''that I desired
I portion of steak in which the coher.
once of the molecules was not so ap.
parent"
-Oh," stammered the waiter, and he
stood fixed with his mouth open il
amazement.
The young woman became embar.
-assed.
Here" snorted the gallant cowboy.
coming to the rescue, with a sounding
whack on the table, git a move or
Nou; what the lady wants is a piece OF
neat that amt so tough she can't stick
Ter purity tooth into it. See?" and the
Houng woman actually smiled as the
yaiter hurried away.-Detrolt Free
Press.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
Wagner as q Hero.

Never was there a sorrier hero than
Wagner, this selfish voluptuary who
was content to crafty his luxurious
tastes at the expense of his friends,
but was too Independent to feel CRATE
full for their sacrifices; whose self-in-
diligence was so much of a disease that
he smoked in order not to miss a SEN
sation which others enjoyed, and was
capable of driving his host into the
streets in the small hours of the morn
ing to replenish his snuff-box; and of
whom his ardent champion, the late
Ferdinand Praeger, has to confess that
while he was ready enough to enter
into a quarrel he always moved away
when it looked like coming to blows"
Wagner's callous neglect of his first
wife, who had been his slave through
years of penury qualified by prodigal-
ity, provoked the remonstrances OF his
friends, and forced Mr.. Praeger to say:
II can testify that Wagner suffered Sc
verely from thoughtlessness." No
shabbier letter was ever penned than
the one he wrote to Mr.. Praeger when
he found that the long-suffering wo-
man had confided her troubles to their
common friend. How could she have
expected" he plaintively asks, that l
was to be schackled and fettered as
any ordinary, common, cold mortal Z?
My inspirations carried me into a
sphere where she could not follow, and
then the exuberance of my heated en-
thusiasm was met by my cold douche" "
The familiar plea that there should
be one law for genius and another for
the common mortal" is not intoler-
able when urged by the apologize
hero-worshipper; from the hero him
self it comes with but ill grace. 81
liked every luxury-she fettered me
there" he bleats of the woman who
had striven so hard to save him from
the ruin threatened by his colossal ex-
Observation-Disclosures Magazine.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-12-31
IN BAD FORM.
szsnted 60 Feel Comfortable and Dress for
the Occasion.


Good day. lady" he said, with the
S0ft, insinuating tone Of the profession.
"A mendicant; II hopes as yer well this
'5vely day"
"Take your muddy feet off that door
1tep."
Certainly. Allus willln' ter 'bllge o
,1dy."
~ haven't any cold meat" =.
"No?" -
"Nor any left over coffee"
ats kind of an off day in the com
.1fssary department, amt it?'
81 s'pose you'd be willing to eat some
lie II had 1t on hand and didn't know
Aow to get rid of 1t. But l haven't
= ny" -, ..o,.,. ,,.,.,
1c. 1 don't want any"
Il suppose, then, that you'd like te
tave me give you my husbands Prince
Albert coat and his broadcloth panta'
,oons."
Nom. That ain't exactly what
Tant. but you're warm. I'm so loaded
.own with things ter eat what the
ndy furder back gimme that the idea
a eatin is positively unpleasant tel
ne. An de lady | seen jes' before that
c;imme sech supply of clothes that
lad ter give some of 'om away cos ]
lidn't have enough Saratoga trunks
IN dress-sut cases ter carry 'em
around in. There's only three articles
[ need now, an I don't guess I've
struck the right house fur anything SC
1p-ter-date. l may be down in the
world, but likes ter preserve the pro.
prteties Of gents attire. I've been in.
tendin' ter take a wheelin' trip through
he country"
do you mean to say that you ride
0icycle?"
mot exactly on a bicycle see dc
bicycles two wheels an go 'em two
better. This trip Is on the truck under
freight car, but it's wheelin' jes' the
same. An I've put off startin' fun
1ore'n three days now in hopes some.
body in this community d be JUPITER.
late enough ter have pair o. knick.
rrbockers an some golf stockings thei
hey could gimme SOS I'd feel com.
'ortable an dressed fur the occasion.
Detroit Free Press.