The Van Buren press., 1896-01-11


Cough"-and, NV course, there warn't
ne Whoopin' Cough to see, bein' as how
the w hadn't come yet!
0ncet when Hiram wanted to dreen
the home pasture, he went to the cyclo-
peedy to find out about it, but all he
diskivered wuz: "Drain-See Tile" /"
This wuz in 1859, and the cyclopeedy
had only got down to G.
The cow wuz sick with lung fever
one spell, and Leander laid her dyin'
to that cussid cyelopeedy, cause when
he went to readin' bout cows it told
him to "See Zoology"
But what's the use Nv harrowin' up
ones feelin's talkin' nd thinkin' about
these things? Leander got so after
awhile that the cyelopeedy didn't wor-
ry him at all; he grew to look at it ez
one NV the crosses that human critters
has to bear without complainin'
through this vale nv tears. The only
thing that bothered him wuz the fear
that mebbe he wouldn't live 60 see the
last volume-to tell the truth, this
kind NV got to be his hobby, and I've
heern him talk bout it many a time
settin' round the stove at the tavern
nd squirtin' tobacco juice at the saw
dust box. His wife, Hattie, passed
away with the yaller janders the win
ter w came, and all that seemed to rec
oneile Leander to sufyiyin' her wuz
the prospect NV seein' the last volyume
Nv that cyclopeedy. Lemuel Higgins,
the book agent, had gone to his ever
lastin punishment; but his son, Hiram.
had succeeded to his fathers business
nd continued to visit the folks his old
man had roped in. By this time Le-
anders children had growed up; all on
'em wuz marr'd, and there wuz numeris
! grandchildren to amuse the OF gen.
tleman. But Leander wuzn't to be
satisfied with the common things NV
airth; he didn't seem to take no pleas
ure in his grandchildren like most men
do; his mind wuz alters sot on some
thin else-for hours md hours, yes,
all day long, he'd set out on the front
stoop lookin' wistfully up the road for
| that book agent to come along with a
| cyclopeedy. He didn't want to die till
he'd got all the cyclopeedies his con-
tract called for; he wanted to have
everything Strengthened out before he
passed away.
! When-oh, how well l recollect it
When come along he wuz SO overcome
that he fell over in a fit Nv paralysis, md
the old gentleman never got over it.
| For the next three years he drooped nd
pined and seemed like he couldn't hold
out much longer. Finally he had to
take to his bed-he was so old md feeble
but he made 'em move the bed W
against the winder so he could watch
for that last yolyume of the cyciopeedy
The end come one balmy day in the
spring Nv '97. His life wuz a ebbin
powerful fast; the minister wuz there
nd me, md Dock Wilson, nd Jedge
Baker, nd most NV the family. Lovin
hands smoothed the wrinkled forehead
nd breshed back the long, scant, white
hair, but the eyes of the dyin' man wu2
sot upon that piece Nv road down which
the cyclopeedy man allus come.
All to oncet a bright nd joyful lool,
come into them eyes, nd OF Leandel
riz up in bed nd sez: Its come!"
"What is it, father2" asked his
daughter Sarey, sobbin' like.
"Hush," sez the minister, solemnly;
'he sees the shinin' gates NV the Noe
Jerusalum."
"No, no." cried the aged man; sit is
the cyclopeedy-th letter Z-it's com
in'!" .
And, sure enough, the door opened
and in walked Higgins. He tottered
rather than walked, FIR he had growed
old nd feeble in his wicked perfession.
"Here's the zcyclopeedy, Mr.. Hobart,
says Higgins.
Leander clutched it; he hugged it tC
his pantin' bosom; then stealin' one
pale hand under the piller he drew out
a faded bank note nd gave it to Hig
gins.
81 thank thee for this boon," sez lie
ander, rollin' his eyes up devoutly;
then he gave a deep sigh
"Hold on" cried Higgins, excitedly
you've made mistake-it isn't tn,
last"
But Leander didn't hear him-hi'
soul had fled from its mortal tenemen'
nd he'd scared rejoicin' to realms u'
everlastin' bliss.
''He is no more" sez Dock Wilson
methaporically.
"Then who are his heirs ?" asked tina
mean critter Higgins.
1--WE be-" sez the family.
do you conjointly and severely ac
knowledge and assume the obligation
of deceased to me?" he asked 'en.
what obligationq" asked Peasle.
Hobart, stern like.
Deceased died OWN me FIR a cyclic
pedyl" sez Higgins.
That's a liel" sez Peasley. eve al
seen him pay you for the III"
"But there's another one to come,
SEE Higgins.
"Another?" they all asked.
"Yes, the index!" sez he.
So there wuz, and I'll be eternal,
burned if he amt a'suin' the estate il
the probate court now FIR the price u
it!-St. Louis Republic.
How Air Can BE Weighed.
The weight of air has often been test