Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-12-03
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The man whose nature tits to sigh
Can always find n reason;
Midst frost he says that Goals too high.
While warmth is out of season
Washington Star.
HE'S anything wanting to make
your happiness COMPLETE my dear"
She--"Yes; about fourteen yards OF
silk at S6ayard, sYonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Poorly-This ere wali'll fall down
eff We don't fix 1t; tn cracks are enor-
nous. Landlord-All right I'll have
1t papered at once.-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
MAUD Muffett says that the age OF
chivalry has passed" IL guess she
means she has passed the age when
she may expect any."-Indianapolis
Journal.
Mamma-"Johnny. / fear yol were
not at school yesterday" 10 amy
HIN! Plrb the teacher told 'ou. A
woman never can keep secret. -Bos-
ton Transcript.
Miriam-"Don't you think ny new
hat is poem, NedT Ned (crit cally)-
From the height. dear, l shOu COM
pare 1t instead to n short ory!"-
Spare Moments.
mabel has a lot of sense" How
does she show it," "Sh6 neN r. per-
mits herself to appear more intelli-
gent than the man who is tn King to
her."-Chicago Record.
| Well-meaning man has seldom said
The thing precisely that he ght;
He sights her dainty homemade bread
And suavely flatters what she bought
Washington Star.
Crawford-"HOw Is it that the jani-
tor of fiat is such an autocrat" Grim
shawl suppose it's because wher-
ever he goes he generally gets in on the
ground foor."-Judge.
Il feel" said the clock hat had
ceased to tick, like the within of a
bicycle collision" "Iow is that?"
asked the watch. run down."-Phil-
adelphia North American.
Commercial Traveler-This, take it,
must be a healthy country. Big San
dian-Healthy? l reckon! The last
one of the Hatfields l tackled took TO
shots to fetch him.--Columbus Journal.
Mrs. Troubles-"When w, were first
married, Harry, you never uttered a
complaint" Mr.. T.-"Whel we were
first married, Jane, had sh enough
to employ a cook."-Pittst rrg Chron-
icle-Telegraph.
First Suburbanite-"That new cook
/ got yesterday was unes ~ all the
way out from town." Sec. I'D Suburb
anite-"What was the matter" First
Suburbanite-"I forgot 10 buy her re-
turn ticket."-Judge.
Dobson-"Did old Money Bags take
it good-naturedly when yc I asked him
for the hand of his daugj terT Hob
son-"Good-n IN, yes; he
said 'Ha, ha, har New York Com
mercal Advertiser.
Wheel and the world wheels with you:
| Walk and you walk alona;
Ware lest scorcher shall come up be-
hind
| And knock you as cold as stone.
Chicago Record.
Il am a plain man." said Bloughly,
"and / believe in being practical.
love you, and l want you to be my
wife" "Well," replied the fair one.
'how much are you worth?-Phila-
delpha North-American.
Mrs. Mimms-George, are you sure
you locked up the house carefully?
Mimms-By jove, 1 can't remember
| about the front door. Mrs. Mimms-
| Never mind the front doo,. How about
the coal bin ?-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Going to do anything interesting
this Thanksgiving, Bassby? "Yes.
I've persuaded my wife not to invite
| all our relatives to diE-er. just to see
| If some Of them won't ave originality
enough to invite u.s. chicago Record.
Papa Blunt-I like TO argue with
that young Tomlins. sweetest Susan
Il hope you find hi logical. papa.
"Why, my child?" because think
| he's the logical candidate for your SON.
| in-law, papa."-Clevel nd Plain Deal
er.
Freshly-Well, I captured a first
| prize at the horse show yesterday"
| Sagely-Didn't know rou had any ami
| mails entered. Freshly hadn't. but
| 1 proposed to Miss Cash and was ac-
| cepted.-New York Commercial Adj
| vertiser.
Marie-I suppose that your friend,
| the count, has become greatly attach
| ed here in New York during his stay.
| Nimms-No, he hasn't been as yet, al
| thoug' all his trunks have, his land
| lord tells me.-New York Evening
! Journal.
Hell thought you said your love for
me was as strong rs iron and as true
| as steel; pray, how do you account for
your numerous flirtations? She-Well,
YOU see the iron and steel works have
, shut down for the present.-Up to
| Date.
| Playwriter-Wh do you think of
my new work? Or .ique-Great show,
| old fellow. FUNNIEST thing 1 ever
saw. Playwriter- 'ood heavens, man.
! It's a tragedy! Criique'-Ycs; know
Il is.-New York Commercial Adver-
| tiser
The mother-Willie, l am sorry to
| learn that you raa your little wagon
| over one Of the uoys next doc? scj
| hurt him. The urchin-It wasn't my
| fault. / told him 20 get out of the way.
| My wagons got United States MALI
painted on both sides Of it, and Ii
doesn't have to sop for nobody.-Chi-