davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
Good Roads the Cheapest.

As supplementary to very instructive
address of General Roy Stone before
the board of trade last Monday evening,
a pamphlet prepared by Professor John
Hamilton, deputy secretary of agricul-
ture. and published by the common
wealth. comes opportunely to hand. 1t
is entitled Good Roads for Pennsyl-
vania' and it covers in detail the whole
subject of road-making and road-re-
pair. Copies of it may be had upon ap-
at Harrisburg.
Professor Hamilton points out that
there are over $4,000 miles of roads in
Pennsylvania, outside of the boroughs
and cities, and not including the turn
pike roads under corporate control. For
the year ending with May, 1895, these
roads cost the farmers of Pennsylvania
the enormous sum of SO, ,S9S, ,j73.96. or at
the rate of $iS.13 per mile for every year.
No wonder General Stone is willing to
pledge himself to find experienced road
work, produce roads four times better
than the present ones (and then they
would not necessarily he things to brag
of and pocket $4,000 annually as
profit.
The great hindranCe to road reform,
after all, is the question of expense.
Once let it clearly be demonstrated that
good roads are the cheapest, and the
battle will be won.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
CHRISTMAS EVE.


Outside my window whirls the icy storm.
And beats upon its panes with fingers
white:
Within my open fire burns bright and
And sends throughout the room its rud :
dy light.
Low on the hearth my good grmalkin lies.
His supple, glossy limbs outstretched
along;
Now gently sleeps with softly closed
eyes,
Now half awakened purrs his even-song.
Near to the fire. touched by its gentle
heat
A silent, welcome friend, my armchair
stands.
Its cushioned depths invite me to its
seat,
And promise rest for weary head and
hands.
Within its depths mine eyes unheeded
close,
And comes to me Il vision wondrous
sweet.
Such sights and sounds no wakeful hours
disclose
As then my resting, dreaming senses
greet.
| am where gentle shepherds on the plain
Keep sleepless, faithful watch Ger rest
ing Sheep
| hear them chant the Psalmst's sweet
refrain,
That lsraers God will sure his promise
keep.
Then quick the air is full of heavily
song,
And radiant light illumines all the
ground.
While angel voices sweet the strain pro-
long.
And angel faces shine in glory round.
| see the shepherds faces pale with fear,
Then glow with joy and glad surprise,
for then
GLORY to God!' from angel lips they
hear,
And Peace OH EARTH good VIII to men,"
And then the light marks out shining
way,
And swift the shepherds are the path
to take.
long to go: Oh, laggard feet, why stay?
Alas! the vision fades, and l awake.
Within, the smold'ring fire is burning
dim;
Without, the whirl and beat of storm
have ceased.
still can hear the angels peaceful
hymn,
And know the vision hath my peace in
creased.
Frank E. Brown in the Outlook
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
HOW TO HELP CUBA,

Walter Wellman in the Times Herald.
The Cuban junta in America is hard
pressed for ready money. How they have
managed to work along on their slender
receipts, contributed almost entirely by
the Cuban cigarmakers of the Florida
towns and the small Cuban colony IN
New York, is the mystery 10 most per-
sons at all familiar with their affairs
The Cigarmakers given 10 per cent. OF
their gross earnings every week. and 1t
must be great hardship for some of them
to part with so much of their income
Various reports of large contributions
to the cause of Cuba by wealthy Ameri-
cans have been in circulation from time
TO time, but | am assured there is no
truth in any of them. The junta has lived
from hand to mouth. 1t spent nearly all
its money In a most economical way for
rifles, cartridges and dynamite. and for
chartering ocean tugs to carr = munitions
to the shores of Cuba. 1t Is understood
here that even the Spanish authorities,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

who have plenty of money to hire spies
To keep track of whatever is done by the
junta. admit that the money raised by
the cigarmakers is honestly and effec-
lively spent
The junta needs financial encourage
ment, and needs II very badly. If the
people of the United States who sympa-
thize with the Cuban cause wish to do
something that VIII be effectivp and
timely in the direction of their sympa-
thies let them subscribe money. Enlist
ments are of no avail. They serve only
to embarrass the junta in its work. A
dollar is worth more to them than man.
If the people who pass long resolutions
of sympathy and the people who demand
war and talk of bout with Spain, as if
1t were holiday picnic and Il good thing
for business, were to become really gen.
erous and practical for IA moment, they
would so down into their pockets for a
small contribution to the Cuban treasury.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
Secretary Carlisle's Report.

The press of more important matters
has kept us from giving earlier atten-
lion to the annual report which Secre-
tary Carlisle made public on Monday;
yet it even now merits some comment.
At its outset we are Informed that the
revenues of the government from all
sources have been S4O9, ,475, ,4O8, and the
expenditures s434 4.67s, ,654, which leaves
a deficit for the year ended June 80,
1896. of $25 1908, ,245. The total estimated
revenues for the year ending next June
are $407, 1913, 100; the estimated expenses
$472, ,293, 100. leaving an estimated de-
ficit for that year of $64.50O,OOO. For
1898 the secretary estimates that the
present revenue laws, if continued.
would produce a deficit of s45,7lS.97O.
Mr.. Carlisle attributes these deficits to
the hard times, but the common sense
of the people attributes them more
largely to the bad tariff law now in
operation The report Is strong ar
gument Cor an extra session of con-
gress and a prompt revision of the tar
III along protective lines.
The secretary makes an elaborate but
familiar plea for the retirement of the
greenback and holsters this up by
charging to that inoffensive form Of
money all the ills which the treasury
has to bear. 1t is not worth while to
follow him thrugh this special plead
ins. The average intelligence Of the
people already perceives the danger
in q contraction Of the currency by the
withdrawal of our national paper ISSUE
and is by no means disposed TO assume
new interest obligations in order that
that issue may be retired. A good
protective tariff will 80 buttress the
gold reserve that the much-abused
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
Altgeld Once nOre.

Goverp,r Altp.,d of Illinois b,s mot
''''' ''''
peeh chasteheu by adversely. When
asked what he thought of Olney's rul-
inc ,n RI. Co,,or,,, ,.os,,,,,,io, ba ~,
"
Pie"'
The secretary and tine uresi,iant are
simply standing by their friends as usual
Their. are I'm New York some very wealthv
men, WHo nave great property interests
tutlons ana sn ,nrth Sn ,nns ,S o,r .nv.
ernment does not recognize the Cuhans
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
THE FAMILIAR STORY.

From the Harrisburg Patriot Dem.)
1t is not unlikely that whichever way
the senatorial fight goes Senator Quay
Will be undone. The election of Penrose
would simply put Il younger Quay as his
colleague and vigorous young one who
would make the Quay name more odious
than ever two years hence. The defeat
OF Penrose would at once put in the field
Il new force in Pennsylvania poiEtics
which would overturn Quayism before
two years have passed. Either way he
looks Mr.. Quay must see retirement tor
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

The city of Boston, having grown
weary of footing the inordinate ex-
pense accounts of its councilmen, has
decided to give each of them salary
Sl,5O0 a year apiece to the members of
the upper chamber and $500 year
apiece to the members of common coun-
Gil. The experiment will bear watch
ing, but We fear the money spent on
salaries will for all practical purposes
simply he wasted
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

The repeated talk of q bolt in the
senatorial caucus at Harrisburg pre-
and has an obvious purpose. But there
will be no bolt; at all events none
worth mentioning. The support which
will nominate Penrose in caucus will
elect him by clear majority in the
legislature, even though every man in
the Wanamaker camp shall absent
himself Just put this away for future
reference.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

Says the Rochester Post-Express, n
journal by no means given to careless
utterances concerning public men:
From all that is known of Mr.. Pen
rose, there is no doubt that if success
full he will represent the Keystone
state worthy and well, in the federal
senate" We can assure our contem-
porary that it is right. and that Sena-
tor Penrose will speedily rank among
the ablest younger members Of the
national senate.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
sssL.=

endless chain will CEASE - that
reserve dry ana then the whole trouble
about which Messrs. Cleveland and
Carlisle make so much ado will be at
an end.
In his plea for greater economy in
congressional appropriations the sec
retary will be cordially sustained. al
ways providing that economy shall be
Interpreted to mean Il cutting down of
of public funds to essential purposes.
The real needs of growing nation
must not be crippled in order to avoid
deficits caused by bungling system
of revenue legislation.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
TOLD BY THE STARS.
Daily Horoscope Drawn by Ajacchus
The Tribune AstrOlOger.
Astrolabe cast: Ill a. m.. for Thursday,
Dec. 81, 1896

DcC. -, loSo.
~ g ~
A child born on this day will notice that
the gifts of Santa Claus are generally
best appreciated where they are most
sparingly distributed.
When Uncle John Wanamaker sings
Peace on earth and good will towards
men," ii Is not to be taken for granted
that he is referring to Sepator Penrose.
1t is probable that persons in this sec
ton of the state who are constantly dis
covering gold mines could be benefited
by season at the gold cure"
There is no question that the Scranton
school board could furnish material that
would go quite way towards stocking
the proposed Nay Aug museum.
Mr.. Cleveland and Mr. Olney exhibit
ambition to become the national BOX
and Cox" show.
1t is now in order for the goose bone
prophet to arise and say. 81 told you So"
SnOWfakes.
The elements should satisfy
The fellows who We're braying
In days gone by, with saddened eye:
I'VE ought ter hev some sleighing :"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

The foreign press credits our minis
ter at Madrid with intimating to Spain
that the United States may yet help
her to subjugate Cuba. We guess this
is a fake
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24
LIKE A WOMAN.

"Oh, DEAR" sighed the lady seal, look
ing out from the tank at the crowd. How
! wish could be a woman and could wear
one of those lovely linen waists. instead
of this ur!''-Indianapolis Journal.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

The Chicago Journal is defiantly pug
nacious. War" it boldly aflirms,
would unite this people. 1t would
chase away the vapors Of discomfort.
1t would exalt patriotism. 1t would
burn away the cancerous tissues of an
archy that threaten to extend deeper
into the body polite. 1t would scarify.
but it would heal. In the end we should
be better off. War would stimulate art,
poetry, music, manufactures, commerce,
trade civilization. We should come
through it rejuvenated and rehabilitat-
ed" According to this view it would
be to the interest of the United States
to be employed in a perpetual scrap.
The Journals assertions have good
deal of truth in them. but they badly
need qualifying.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

over the will of an overwhelming ma
jority of his fellow citizens. We think
better of him than to believe that he
desires congress to shirk its duty in or
der that he may officially guide its
performance of il later on.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

During all this war talk 1t must
strike the country as singular that 1t
has not been treated to a series of stac-
cato peace shrieks from the president
of Harvard.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

The Washington Post is mean enough
to suggest the need of literacy test
for admission to congress. Why not a
thinking test?
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

Mr.. Olney's case simply points anew
to the perils of a head swelled by Ht-
tie brief authority.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-24

There would probably be less sting in
this criticism If it did not have some
measure Of truth in it.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19

Crater Of the Platte wear their hats dur
ing the process Of responding to the wheel,
or the crank, while Senator Jones and
Senator PETER wear their whiskers out
of the window. Nowhere In tho world ex-
ceptin thisinimita Bile America of ours could
such design for stump orator have been
executed as that which shows how the
Bryan campaign is to be rum
1t has been anticipated that 5000, 900
Of people must be told about the way in
which the Nebraska dollar is to be coined
and distributed. Manifestly too great a
work for single man. Therefore behold
the Altgeld attachment. 1t consists ofs
two more wheels to be erected on the back
platform OF the meteoric special. These
wheels (silver) by an ingenious continuance
are to be placed in communication with the
lower ma1illary Of the said boy orator.
Over the wheels are bands which are to
be revoluted by dynamo on the back of
the Goa oh next to the refrigerator and the
free buffet.
The train arrives, say, at some cross
roads. 1t doesn't make any difference
whether it is silver cross or gold cross
at these roads, the crucifixion and circum.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19

bolt, and the e. o. p: wliizzer are burning
the wind from Maine to Mexico.
There is an amazing amount OF Joy in
Goldville, and there is a picnic in progress
day and night at silverton. The national
debt is about $500, OOO, 600. 900 in silver
eoip' token money, greenbacks, gold, ma
tonai bank notes, and Scent dollar pieces,
all of which 100000 900 900 facts must
be explained, modified, recast, and reha
bihtated in a corresponding number of
sords from the point of view of the rear
platform.
SAFETY VALVE TIED DOWN.
That there will be strain on the gener-
ators there can be no question, while gold
and silver are being cruciried. But no
matter what the strain may be, there will
be no bursting OF boilers, burning out of
motors, derailments, or exhaustion OF
generators, because we have provided
against such catastrophe, and besides.
it will make little difference to the
reading, public as We already have 3OO,-
100000 900 words in type, and we use
the word "words' advisedly. We know
what we are talking about, II they don't.
note first that Napoleon end the Boy
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
They are Off

They are Off
And they are bound for the Promised
Land!
1t does not come within the purview of
)he parable to say how much they are off
Dr what is the type, brand or value of the
promise or the land. We simply present
the makers of the votes in the position in
which they are now at; and If there is any,
Thing obscure In the etymoloSy, syntax or
prosody OF what is said en- route, it must
be charged to the new grammar of the West
and South, with their solecisms and whis-
kers.
One of the first things to be noted is that
all Of the candidates have reached that
stage at which they can all stand on the
same platform. 1t is the platform which
is FURNISHED by nearly all the railroads in
the country, and its planks are Free Sill
yer, Free Gold, Free Rides, Free whisky.
Free Beer, Free Speech, Free Riots, Free
Fireworks and Free Funerals. The cam.
paign has reached the rear-end stage. and
all the train dispatclers in the country will
soon be kept busy keeping the cattle trains
Oft the track while the Nebraska Comet.
PETERS Funeral Flyer, the Gold Thunder.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19

noted about the Peoples party excur-
sionists, except the reckless style in which
they let the neither ends of the hair OF their
face flam in the direction of the hot
boxes
POSSIBILITIES OF COLLISION.
1t is a question which can only be set
tied by the event itself as TO whether that
gold party train will hit the Populistic
MeaDderer. From an off-hand observation
it will settle once for all the mooted prob
lem of two trains on the same track goin 2
10 opposite directions.
The brass band, of course, plays in this
piece. 1t has not becn found convenient
either by the artists or the G. o. P manage
ment to accommodate the Goldville brothers
in black otherwise than on the hurricane
deck Of the campaign. They are seen in
the act of letting down the opening bars
Of Vote for Mckinley, Protection and
the st. Louis Hotels
There is nothing mean about this G. o.
P. campaign SO far as Milholland is COLI
cerned. He said that the colored band from
il they had to sit on the roof of the process
SION And they did. Robert Snlalls, of
South Carolina, who is playing the from
bone, is sitting with his back to the engine
very wisely. for the flat cornet has evil
IDENTIFY been choked with cinders.
Notice the rapt attention which r. S. V.P.
Bland is paying to the music OF the Cot
tontot who is playing the chimes on the
watershed of the Bryan Presidential IN
limited, Free, and Independent. Mr. Bland
is sitting for a cabinet photo, OF port
folio, or any other old thing that may
be lying loose, IL the electoral college gives
Jennings a diploma for rhetoric and Bible
history and metaphors.
POINT OF DESTINATION.
The Cottontot plays the chimes with two
mallets, which is n Nebraska figure OF
speech for the double standar d. Mr..
Bryan himself is a figure of speech At
least old Hod Boies and R. s. " P. b.
think SO.
As for Mr.. Sewall, Arthur Sewall, he no
longer is in deadly dread of train wreckers
or bomb throwers. He has loaned his anti
corporation railway to the good cause,
and also his barrel organ, which also is
q figure of speech.
There are only two tsrmini to these ex-
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19

cursions. All of the trains, except that
labeled Gold Party" have definite
point of attack. The Ct. P. has not vet
Offered any inducements for the summer
travel-no rates, no destinat ton. no here
after. 1t is nevertheless the thing that
can be counted on for head-end and rear
end collisions. II is to all appearances
the Flying Dutchman of the campaign.
The crew are invisible. and may be so
to the end of the route.
As We said-they are off There will be
little else that is profitable to do except
to sit on the house top, watch the sparks.
and be at the depot when your special
comes in. Fishing is not such a bad way
OF spending these coming red hot days,
anyhow. Buzzard's Bay is off the ling
or the campaign flyers.
PAY TRAIN NOT SCHEDULED.
r. S--There is one train which in the
technique of the train dispatcher's office,
has not yet pulled out of the shed. This
is the pay tram. The consideration on this
excursion P. p. T. is not question of what
kind of, but how much money. To the
ear OF not over particularly lively fancy
the sound of frying fat sldistinctIy audibl.
over and above the chimes of the silver
symphony and the bugies of the goIdviiIe
band.
We have been informed that il is to be
distincuvely Il money campaign to such a,
degree that may tie necessary to increase
the blocks from five to ten, al an increased
rate per block.
Fat-frying, as an industry, has been I'M
known in the West since the birth Of the
Democratic party, but 1t will be impossible
to dodge the Pay Train when it makes it's
tour of the occidental States which fur
nished the accidental candidate.
Now, as an open and above board money
campaign, or to speak plainly, dust and
Doodle free fight for all, it ought to be
great success. The mere announcements
OF the nature Of tie fight ought to bring
out the whole United States vote regard,
less OF the weather and the platforms.
1t is an errorto assume that the greatpeo
pies Democratic party, which has dumped
tile somewhat over-fat- fried yet still well-to-
do gentlemen of the East, will not have an
abundance OF money to meet their obliga-
tons and the pay train. 1t is quite certain
that, If they haven't got it, they will make
1t, out of any old thing, no matter what u
costs OF what or whom 1t will buy.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19

tput viii not be as large as that Of the
boy orator. On tue contrary. he will say
quite as much. irrespective of the num-
Der of words used
Inere will be other trains. Coming round
the curve and heading, we believe, for Sill
Vertown, is the special labeled Populism.
Frankly, we do not know where its mo-
tive powerfs at, and to be equally frank.
we do not recognize in the ladies' or gen.
tlemen in the windows, any of the District
OF Columbia delegates to st. Louis. They,
from the West, are mostly patrarchs, who
lived one time In Egypt and did time for
Pharaoh, when wheat was sold to the
Midianites at 81 in gold per bushel, or
Tor four shekels in the Coin current dur
ing the subsequent reign of Ptolemy Neb-
raskes. ->-zrssyEE11,
These Populistic patriarchs did a clever
thing in their day and generation. 1t was
noised abroad in the land that Pharaoh's
eldest daughter, while bathing, or wash
ing herself as it was called In those dark
Egyptian days, had found Moses Then
the Populist patriarchs, who had been look
ing for this young Moses, said that they
knew his antecedents long before Pharaoh's
daughter, and they raised mighty cry
and induced Chief Justice Joseph, on a
false affidavit, signed by Potiphar's wife,
to credit the discovery of Baby Bryan
Moses to the Patriarchy.
Armed with these papers, they Travelled
900 porasaDgs in the middle of the night,
to place on the right side of the Nile.
called since st. Louis, and there they
erected silver calf and worshipped him
as of their own herd. And from that day
until this no one knew whose child was
Moses, surpamed Nebraskes.
There is nothing special to be otherwise
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19

locution are to go on all the same. Roar
ing Bill says: Ladies and gentlemen, the
nah at tho dynamo touches the button
and the machine does the rest 1t has
been estimated that, with this arrangement,
an hours speech can be made in ten min
utes, and that the net stenographc result
Will fill six months issue Of the Con-
gressional Record, as it used to be when
w. j. was in Congress talking on that CAL
vary text. -----.-----
Has A. BRAKE ATTACHMENT.
Now, your Uncle Marcus Antonius Still
Water Hanna viii not work the Napoleonic
'1isssminator in precisely that way. The
Bryan polysyllabic generator is said to
have no arrangement to stop her when
she Starts. The old-fashioned crank. move.
Enent has therefore been selected by the
throne-filler from Ohio. When Mark stops
Mack stops, ana Marx viii know when he
hds done anshenest days work before any
constituency. Hobart is to run the cleo
trio fan. The shre wdness of Mr.. Hanna.
management is evident wheE it is seen
that he has shut off the Hobart gas end
OF his cross-country campaign. > 1t Is not
intended to be conveyed that MeKinlsy's
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
Some of the Latest Political Devices for the
Multiplication Of Speech and the
MyStifiCatiOn of Voters.
ORATOR BRYAN'S SILVER DYNAMO

How the Demand for Pop
ular Delusion Will Be
Supplied in lS96-The
Populist Patriarchs and
Pharaoh's Daughter
Trains Now on the
Track and the Danger
of Collision.