Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1896-04-19

driven over the hill by the cemetery,
but he was evidently overcome by the
parting, as he did not look back. The
doctors have said that it will be posi-
Bile Tor Mr.. Starbuck to return and live
in this climate, but Buzzardville hopes
that it will not have to say goodbye
TO any more of its prominent citizens
for the same reason"
The police reporter and there wasn't
better one in the State, had been sent
TO write up swell society wedding. In
fortunately, he was a confirmed bach
elor and had been doing police head
quarters for so long that he didn't know
anything else. His account of the we'd
ding cost the paper 200 subscribers. It
ran:
PUNCHED BY A WOMAN.
Another good man has gone wrong.
Yesterday Oscar Lovelace stood up at
the residence of his financee's parents
before Rev. Will lynn and received a life
sentence. Many of those present were
moved to tears while sentence was be-
ing pronounced, and the presiding cler-
gyman was visibly affected while per-
iOi luluS Ills painful QuIy.
After saying goodbye to his friends
the bridegroom. closely guarded by the
bride, was removed in closed carriage
to his new home on Cypress street TO
commence serving out his time at harA
labor. Those who saw the bride
thought that the clergyman was too
severe. The unfortunate man seemed
resigned to his fate and even smiled
cheerfully when the ordeal of standing
up for sentence was over.
THE things for which he committed
his crime were comparatively WORTH
less, comprising a lot of cheap house
hold furniture, plated silverware and
fancy work. 1t is probable that after
he has served few years of his SEN
tence the divorce court will be petition
ed for his release on the ground that
he was insane when he committed the
crime"
Miss Nellie Shy, who ordinarily edit
ed Household Hints" and the "Wo-
mans World" was assigned to the
sporting column. There isn't sport
in Rustler county who will read the
Sporter now. She led off with:
The MEAN THINGS.
Bob Hitsinhim Is brute and Pete
Mayhert is perfectly odious; but hap
PLY we may soon expect to see the fad
of prize-fighting socials die out now
that our best citizens have decided not
to take up with them. They never at
tanned to the popularity of pink teas
in this country, although they were all
~ I 81,
heard.
"Bill-Certainly l will not decide
your bet. Playing cards for money is
low and sinful habit.
"Ringside-I do not positively know
where Corbett is now, but think he is
a Senator in the Massachusetts Legis-
lature. / don't know anything about
his having had fight with a man
named Mitchell. Yes, he is great
talker.
WILLIE don't know either Spike
Sullivan or Sandy McSweat, so can
not say which is the better man. 1t
would be invidious to make any COM
parison if they are both trying to lead
earnest, Christian lives.
"Disgusted-I do not see how your
friend could have hit you when he had,
as you say, full hand. l suppose that
the flush to which you refer was raised
by his blow. OF course he beat you,
silly, If he hit you.
AMATEUR suppose that you could
find 'Hoyle's Games in the library Of
the First Baptist Church. They have
great variety of books for the children
in the Sunday school"
The managing editor sent for the
new city editor when he had read thus
far, and turning his face towards the
rising sun started him on his journey
with few hearty kicks.
"Buzzardsville' pretty swift little
town" he observed, "but Publisher in
disguise is too sensational for it," and
he lodged into the editorial rooms just
in time to miss half brick, hurled by
the bridegroom of the day before
Boston Standard.