davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
LOBSTER AND COLD MIX.
SIeat Concern of "a New Waiter For Q Mss
Who Ordered 1t.

You want some lobster and glass OF
colo milk" ash II "a new waiter the other
night 10 a frequ inter- of an UP town hotel
cafe
Yes"
The waiter as he left the table repeated
TO himself, as though he feared he had not
heard 1t right, Lobster and cold milk"
Returning IN few minutes he placed
the lobster on the table and kept the mill
on side table, hoping, perhaps, that the
man would not miss the milk. At "a word
though, from the man he placed it on the
table saying as he did so, Lobster and
cold milk"
Then he stood off Few steps and 10
tently watched the man The waiter seem
ed much worried, and several times made
IS though To speak to the man With Z
look of foreboding he watched the man
mix dressing for the lobster, and thii
look grew TO an expression OF consterna
ton when he saw the man taste the lob
ster and take q swallow of the milk. Hin
eyes seemed almost to start from his head
and one could easily imagine the waite,
expected to see the man fall forward OIL
the table and die
FINALLY the waiter could keep silence nj
longer, and bending over the man he SAID
In "a frightened way;
Il beg your pardon sir, but did yor
ever eat lobster and cold milk beforer'
oh, yes, lots of times. Why"
well, sir. you will excuse me, bu
there are lots of people who can't eat tina
combination, cld como people it kills"
Don't worry about me. I've eaten Il
ever since I was big enough to know wba
,oDstCr V rs -
The W .itnr ! )ok u as IT, - I'll no hes ta'
ed TO civ +; II ere .eace t. the sta III. ani
but h. was "A bit reassdred ana retired ;
few steps, all the time, though, keeping
an anxious eve on the man, tie lobster
and the milk.
Nothing happened except the disappear
ince of the latter, and the waiter, much
relieved, said, by way of further apology
as he took away the dishes, There wa
. waiter here who went down TO Cone,
Island last summer, and he ate lot o
lobster and then drank a glass of milk
and then he went IN swimming, and no
body has ever seen him since. New
Yorh 6un.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
UMBRELLA TRUSEs fat uss.

Can the failure of the Uphrella trust N
attributed 10 the dry weather'-Pil ssbur:
Chronicle-Telegraph.
The Umbrella trust. unable TO RAILS
profits, will close up. Yop can't put any
trust in an umbrella any 'ow -Philadcl
phia Ledger
she Umbrella trust mas failed IT. Il
nNts. al, however, that such an enterprise
snoolo rs in constant danger Of closing
up. -Ban,inore American
The Umbrella trust, which went int,
the hands Of a receiver the other day, die
not know enough to lay up something fo'
q rainy day.-St Louis Republic
The rainmakers and medicine men Of
Kansas charge only $50 for days rain
wet, wide, satisfaction guaranteed D,
money refunded Rain ought 90 be corp
noner than ever. And yet the Umbrella
trust is hauled down, and tho calculations
Of economists familiar with the greW
achievements of the Kansas cloud drillcr
and welkin tappers are brought to soo-r
New York Sun.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
JACK RABBITS FOR cOURslNo.
Said to BE Greatly Superior to the English
Hare For That Purpose.

Hare For That Purpose.
The sport Of rabbit coursing is receiv-
ing a new islpetrs since the Kansas
black tailed jack rabbit has entered the
arena. Not until quite recently bias the
coursing fraternity been aware of the
great superiority Of the jack over the
cotton tail rabbit or the English hare for
this purpose Kansas jack rabbits are
now greatly in demand, both in this
country and in England, and live ones
command good price. The difficulty in
catching them alive is very great, and
only one man in Kansas, so far as
known, has given his undivided atten'
tion to the work.
Charles Payne, familiarly known
throughout the west as hunter and
plainsman, has been jack rabbit en-
thusiast for years, and it is largely
through his efforts that the merits of the
animal for coursing purposes have be.
come so generally recognized. The cap
ture of live jacks involves the purchase
Of a great deal Of expensive parapher-
MALTA. Mr.. Payne has two nets made Of
seine Irvine, o feet in height which,
when both are extended, reach almost
across a section, and made expressly for
catching live jacks. His method Of en-
trapping the live jacks is unique. 1t is
his usual custom, when preparing for
the raid upon the rabbits, to advertise
among the farmer boys the day upon
which the jack rabbit drive is TO take
place.
AT the appointed time hundreds Of
country boys, mounted on ponies, flock
to the rendezvous, armed with fog horns,
drums, bells and anything else that will
make discordant music. They are de-
ployed in a semicircular line two miles
in front Of the net, and at given sig
ual from the marshal Of the day the line
moves toward the net, each man making
all the noise possible. If the hunting
grounds have been well selected, the
horsemen will have no trouble in
"bouncing" rabbits innumerable, and
as they scamper away toward the net,
followed pellmell by the eager farmer
boys, the scene is one of great auima-
ton.
The rabbits, if they do not become
confused by the noise and excitement,
bound away toward the net at almost
lightning speed, and many of them
strike the net sc hard that they break
their necks. Those that survive the shock
scamper into the pockets which are in
geniously arranged for their reception,
and for them the jig is up. Rabbits
sometimes die of fright, not having suf-
ficient strength TO make the race for life.
These rabbit drives are among the most
popular sports in which the prairie
farmers indulge, and it is customary for
the organizer of the drive to provide
bounteous spread for his gratuitous
helpers Philadelphia Times
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11

The term "entire. SO often seen over
inns and taveIns (and not always under
stood by the passershy), is SAID 10 have
first been used about 1922. Prior 10 that
date the malt liquors il general use
were ale, beer and "twopenny " II WAS
usual for tavern CUSTOMERS 10 call for "A
pint or tankard Of half and half-that
is, half ale and half beer, half ale aid
half twopenny. or half beer and half
twopenny. In course of time il became
customary TO call for tankard Of
three threads. meaning third of ale,
beer and twopenhy. To save publicans
the trouble and waste of turning three
taps for one pint of liquor brewer
named Harwood conceived the idea Of
making beverage which should unite
the favors of all three drinks. He call
ed his production "entire, or "entire
butt beer. AS il was considered suit
able for porters and other working peo-
Pile il is said 10 have obtained the fur.
ther name of porter. London News
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11

k@s Useful Suggestions to Those whs
Value What Is Invaluable.

Avoid tight fitting hats and collars,
also close fitting caps, unless these be
of some porous material. The two former
prevent due supply of blood to the
parts; hence the hair papille are put,
as il We're, on short commons all the
time TIE hats and collars are worn. The
caps engender caloric, which sets up
irritation and ultimately that most
stubborn form of overwhelmingly
pityriasis q. e.. hranny scales). Note
that all the headgear which is not porous
should be ventila ed at top and sides to
allow free current of air.
Never sit or stand with the top Of the
head near gas light or lamp light. The
beat thrown out is apt 10 paralyze the
scalp tissues and dries up the hair itself
Don't wash the head oftener than
once a fortnight, when first rub il the
yolk of an esq and thoroughly rinse out
with warm water, into which has been
thrown pinch of borax. Dry carefully
and apply little pure olive oil.
Beware of the common practice Of
dipping the comb in water when ar.
ranging the hair. 1t promotes decompo
sition and rancidity Of the natural oil,
and so leads to ''rotting."
If the hair be naturally dry. apply a
little olive oil occasionally. If natural
ly oily, occasionally wash away the ex-
cess of sebaceous secretion by means Of
lather OF tepid water and soap bark
(Quitlaya sapOnaria).
Salt water is most injurious to TIE
hair, for which reason when sea bath.
ing wear an oil cap.
Always treat the scalp as if you loved
1t. Take TO heart DR.. Godfrey's dictum
that "every touch affecting so delicate
a texture as the scalp should be soft and
soothing, every application bland and
mild" Don't use stiff bristled or wire
brushes. and in all cases brush gently.
Also, always brush out the hair before
attempting to comb it, and use the comb
as little as possible.
Have the ends Of the hair clipped once
q month, if only to prevent them from
splitting. But don't close crop. -Phila
delphia Times. So.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
A BACK BLOW.
The Weapon Small - but None More
Certain or Effective.

In these times when backs are lame,
when almost every other one we meet has
now and then, or all the time, "A back that
aches or pains "a weak back, "a bad
back, back that makes their life IA mis-
Fry to bear and still they go ON day by
lay in pain and suffering. Now It's the
easiest thing in the world to give this
played out back "a blow that will settle
II, and put in its place new one equal tn
any. It's Just like this: hit at the cause;
most backaches come from kidney disOr-
ders. Reach the kidneys, start their
clogged-up iibres in operation; when this
is done You can say good bye to backache.
Here is case from Battle Creek: Mr..
Josiah NJ. Shoup lives AT 81 Broad Street,
he was member of the Battle Creek POI
lice force for many years. AS IA member
of the force he served the city well, but
The rough weather he was often subjected
10 laid the foundation Of kidney disorder.
which has troubled him very much. Here
is what he says about it:
About three years ago, while on the
police force, contracted from exposure a
kidney trouble, which has since given me
no end of trouble. The pain was right
through my kidneys and across the small
of my back; if sitting down and wanted
to stand up | had to arise very slowly and
gently to avoid increasing the pain; | had
such tired out feelings all the time, and /
was steadily getting worse. About two
months ago, hearing of Doan's Kidney
Pills, got box Their action and effect
was most complete, they removed the old
aching pains for good. can now get
around as quickly as anybody. Doan's
Kidney Pills are certainly as represented.
10 htr.a Ill 1aa1 lore nj &c
Mailed by Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo,
" Y, sole agents for the L. S Remember
the name, D0an'S, and take no other
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
THEIR OWN PHYSICIANS
Self DoctorinG Promoted by the Use Of Med
icines In Compressed Tablets.

Self Doctoring Promoted by the Use Of Med
icines In Compressed Tablets.
Not only has the general introduction
Of medicine in the form Of compressed
tablets simplified the work of the doc
tor, but it has also vastly promoted self
doctoring. The number Of remedies put
up in this form for popular use con-
stantly increases. Many druggists make
speciality of these things. You see
them displayed near the soda water
fountain, put up in small bottles and
sold at prices that must yield hand
some profit. Half dozen remedies for
indigestion are thus sold, some contain
ing pepsin as the active principle. 9th
ers containing soda mint, some bismuth
some charcoal or more powerful disin.
fectants. Some are designed TO remove
acidity Of the stomach others to attack
a catarrhal condition. Others are TO pro-
woke appetite, and still others are to
promote one or another natural func-
ton. A dozen headache cures are sold il
this fashion, and the different emolli
ents for the throat are almost innumera
BILE. There are grip tablets, liver tab
lets, heart, lung and brain tablets.
Persons who have eschewed patent
medicines all their lives buy these tab
lets of one sort or another, because
most of them are supposed to be well
recognized remedies. Most Of the tab
let's are advertised only in medical jour
nails, in accordance with the require
ments of the medical code, and many
of them, no doubt, have obtained their
popularity through their use by reputa
BILE physicians.
Quinine, which is now extremely
cheap, is sold largely in the form Of
two grain pills or in larger pills con-
tanning iron. Although believed by
many physicians to be dangerous rem
edy, it has long been self prescribed by
all sorts of persons, especially in mala-
rial regions, and it is one of the rene
dies most frequently bought without
prescription. Ii is self prescribed fo,
malaria in its many forms, to check y
cold in its early stages, and as a tonic.
Stimulants of one sort or another are
sold in this form, but more especially
perhaps at the soda fountain, which has
become q sort of medical dispensary.
Many headache remedies are dispensed
at the soda fountain. Some are recon
mended or suggested by the attendant.
but many persons have their favorites
among ti,e various sedatives and febri.
fuges, and some are called for as regu-
larly as the fruit sirups. New remedies
are constantly introduced through the
soda fountains, and many old ones have
long been included III the annually
lengthening list of the soda water dis.
pensers- New York Sun.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
Tl+s FIRST BICYCLE RIDER.
He Halls From Chicago and Boldly Makes
This Claim.

az RIDE the first bicycle in America. IL
any other man claims TO have done so, l
would like Go hear from him, but / dont
believe thore l. such man.
So. says Mr.. John William Tyler of 81
East Monroe street. The pioneer OF the
millions who now fit on wheels all over
this broad continent is n middle aged man,
well built, with dark hair and eyes. In
early life Mr. Tyler was gymnast He
Is now "a jeweler. During his apprentice
ship as jeweler he was "a reader of n mag
azine, in which he one day came across a
paragraph which Interested him very
much. 1t dealt with the improvements
made to the bicycle or yelocipede, AS 1t
was then called. by the brothers Hanlon,
who were surprising Paris by their exploits
on the new machine
At this time the riding of bicycle was
considered rather rs gymnastic exercise,
To he undertaken only by the very skillful.
Thus it appeared to Mr.. Tyler, and he at
once ordered velocipede from the adver
tised manufactures IN New York, who mad
purchased the patent from the Hanlons
Said Mr.. Tyler.
after having waited about three
months the yclOcipedo came at last. Ii
came C. O. d., with a bill for $50 and let
ter from the manufacturers stating that i
had given them their first order, and the
cause Of the long delay was their not being
ready TO manufacture. From the illustra
ton of the machine / thought IL would
COST only SO or Sl5, and l was not ready
TO pay 500 A friend, however, came to
my relief and paid the bill, telling me
that could give exhibitions on the ma.
chine and in that way soon be able TO pay
him back, which l did, there being plenty
Of people then in America willing to pay
for the privilege of seeing man ride a
velocipede. hired an incloscd arena, and
people paid to come in and soc me ride
and that fall l established a velocipede
school in Wilkesbarre. My wheel attracted
much intere,t-became so popular, in fact,
that articles in reference TO ii appeared In
a great many newspapers. Chicago In
ter Ocean.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
A CONJURER'S TALE OF WOE.
Confeie rate Produced Handful of Change
Instead OF = Marked Dollar.

Carl Hertz. the illusionist, was talk
ing of some of the accidents that some
times spoil the art Of the conjuror.
1T was in Nashville, " he said, "that
I experienced a real knock down blow
| was performing the well known trick
Of passing a marked coin into the center
Of an uncut orange; at least that what
good many people thought l was do
ing / used silver dollar, and empha-
sized the trick by passing the coin into
the pocket of some boy whom had en-
.iced on 10 the stage.
Il Will openly confess that the boy
had 10 be a confederate, and that the
marked dollar had its fellow in one pre-.
viously prepared by me. One night, as ]
was entering the theater. looked around
for likely youth to aid me in my dou-
Die dealing. / picked boy and prom.
Used TO pass him in if he would follow
my instructions.
I" l am conjurer,' said. L want
you to put this dollar in your right hand
trousers pocket. III get you a seat in
the front row. When / ask for some
body to come on the stage, you must
come. Then will ask you to produce
the dollar.
THE boy promised everything, and.
after making arrangements for him AT
the door. left him. When / was ready
for the dollar trick, ! saw my young
confederate sitting open mouthed in the
front row. l had prevailed upon another
har of ha nd
dollar marked exactly as was that had
given 10 the boy.
Il passed that borrowed dollar into
the orange, cut the fruit open, and out
dropped the coin. Then l went on:
And now, ladies and gentlemen, !
will perform a still more difficult feat
/ have passed that dollar into an orange
Now / will ask some member of the au-
dience to step on the stage, and, without
going anywhere near him, l will pass
the same dollar marked, as you have
seen, into his right hand trousers pocket. ;
True TO his bargain, the boy stepped
to the stage. Istepped opposite him and
asked:
Now. sir, have you ever seen me
before:'
No, sir, was the answer.
"'l have here dollar. continued
/ am going TO pass it into your right
hand trousers pocket. One-two-three
-gop
Il made the proper maeician's pass
and smiled confidently upon my audi.
ence.
Now, l said to my assistant, put
your hand into your right hand trousers
pocket and give me the dollar.
"The boy looked bit sheepish, but
be dived his fist down. Then TO my IN
1tterable horror, he produced handful
Of silver and said:
1--WE only got 90 cents of it left, sir >
Il Went out in hurry and took Q
drink. New York Times
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
ANIMAL SUPeRSTITioNs.

1t is unlucky for "A hare to cross yocs
path. 1t was believed at one time that
hares changed their sex every year
Rats forsake ship before wreck or \
house before fall, and if they gnaw al
furniture in a room 1t presages death.
A dogs howl near house presagcs the
death of "a sick inmate, and when dogs
wallow In the dust look for foul weather
There is but one phcnlx in the world.
which, after many hundred years, burns
itself, and from its ashes another phenix
rises
According to the legend, the lions whelp
Is born dead and remains dead three days.
when the father breathes on 1t and 1t W
oeives life.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
Wagner and Schumann.

Wagner, writing in 1916, said OF
Schnmann He is a highly gifted mu'
stefan, but an impossible man When J
came from Paris, went to see him.
told him of my Partisan experiences,
spoke of the state of music in France,
then of that in Germany. spoke of liter
ature and politics, but he remained as
good as dumb for nearly an hour. One
cannot go on talking quite alone. AL
impossible man - Schumann gave an
account Of this interview which practi.
cally agrees with that of Wagner. II
have seldom met Wagner he said,
but he is man Of education and spirit
he talks. however, increasingly, and thai
one cannot endure FOR long together. -
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
The MAN YOUR DAUGHTER KNOWS
See II You Can Recognize His Portrait In
This Picture.

His appearance Ia 50 eininently respect
able that you feel the same satisfaction on
finding him around the hOhse as you exs
perience on seeing "A choice bit Of Chelsea
on your wall or a well bred horse In your
stable His eyes are sleepy, honest eyes
enough, and If they rarely in your pres
ence express anything more than vacant
Indifference you don { much care.
His haT Is always beautifully smoothed,
with sadiron, you surmise, and the part.
Ing indelibly in the exact center has evil
IDENTIFY grown there and Is not as are other
partngs. the result Of artifce. An IN.
cipient mustache does honor 20 his expec.
iatiOns and If you sometimes wish the
ends were not so stiilly starcEed you never
hurt his feelings ty mentioning It, His at
tire Is always taultiess immaculate and
his shoes especially win your warm and
snvious admiration They are never spot
ted creased nor cracked a. are Your own.
Personally your arc not wei. acquainted
with him Your wife mentions his name
sometimes, and your daughter is not
averse 20 his society, you understand.
Quite often you meet him OF the doorstep
when you return home from the office,
whercupon he shakes hands with you quite
affably. if in a somewhat high handed fash
ION, and you strive TO recollect his name
with but Indifferent success. usually call
Ing him by the appellation Of his prede-
eessor In the good graccs Of your daughter.
Sometimes you run across him at your
club and more often your wife has him to
dinner and you sit over the coffee with
him afterward, while he smokes your
cigars trfle condcscendingly and kindly
speaks good word for your wine until
the conversation dies away for the twen-
ticth time in ten minutes and he excuses
himself and returns TO the ladies, the la
dies" in the case being your daughter,
who, during the last half OF the ten min.
utes, has been reckoning 90 him from be-
hind the hall door, where She imagined
herself unseen by you You do not beg
him to stay Somehow it is very difficult
to make conversation with the man your
daughter knows.
And so you keep on meeting him al
short intervals, until one day your daugh-
ter decides that he Is absolutely necessary
10 her future happiness and you purchase
him for her at IA figure which you consider
quite modest, when you come To think OF
his shoes and hair Whcreupon your wife
assures you that you have done well, and
you experience slight glow of pride as .
result of her commentators, and you feel
rather thankful that you won't have to
talk To him again for at least month
Richard Stil,man Powell in Life.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-09-11
USES OF OZONE.
Valuable For Artificially Aging Liquor o,
Seasoning Wood.

Seasoning Wood.
Ozone is now practically applied for
several purposes. Experiments with il
have shown that it will artificially age
brandy, whisky, sweet and hard wines
and liquors. Ozone will also improve
coffee by rendering harmless oily beans
The aroma of tobacco Is also considera-
bly, improved by the application OF
ozone The latest application of it is for
rapid seasoning Of wood for sounding
boards of musical instruments, which
for the purpose is left in a Theoretically
closed, heated room from IL to "a
hours, ozonified air being freely intro
duced into the room. 1t seems that this
process will harden the wood, increase
its resistance against the influence Of
temperature and moisture and give it
considerably more acoustic or resound-
ing quality.
Another recent application Of ozonified
air is that of the thickening of linseed
oil for the manufacture of hnoleum,
which by the old process took several
months. BY the liberal use of ozone
A4Lsttu OlA 10 bON w tl1O lc'
quired consistency within a few days
Most remarkable, however, is the al
vantage of employing ozone for bleach
ing linen, since the time employed is
less than one-third of the bleaching proc
ess by sunlight, not considering that
this latter Is dependent both upon the
season and the weather The ozone proc
ess of bleaching rerders the work abso
lutely independent Of outside influences.
Ozone has also been found very valua-
BILE in chemical and technical processes,
particularly in the prodccticn Of pure
derivatives Of starch. for instance, solu-
BILE starch, dextrin, crystal gum, etc.
Here the ozone is Instrumental in tax
ing away ali the matter which causes
the dark color, bad odor and taste.-
Philadelphia Record.