Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1896-09-05
c A r L D U NDE r
i,tcn for The Evening Star by NJ Quad.

written for The Evening star 10y NJ. Quad
The fat police sergeant stood in the door
OF the station house watching a goat which
was hungrily devouring an old Harrison
nat which some one had kicked into the
street, when Mr.. Dunder came around the
corner and cheerily called out:
Hello, sergeant. 1 shust happened 10
come aroundt dis rhay, und guess | shtop
minute to see if you vhas all right"
Il thought you had gone back to Ger
many" said the sergeant as he continued
to watch the goat
Back to Shermany! / doan' see Why /
should so back 10 Shermany. Nottings
vhas two times alike in dis country but L
get used to dot. 1t vhas a nice day, SER
geant"
Yes. Have you had a guardian ap-
pointed yet?'
Why should I hat some guardians?" re-
phed Mr., Dunder with considerable spirit.
III you belief L doan' know how to take
care of myself You vhas mistooken. A
somebody can shwIndie me. but I like to
see EN- try ii on now, Ii you vhas my
iriendt you doan' shpeak like dot TO me-"
Then, nothing has happenedg" uueried
the sergeant as the goat worried down his
third piece of hat
"Nott!ngs has happened. Dot is,-noboiy
mas mas ,ried some sumgames on me. II he
did he vhaS a dead man in two minutes
Shust one man come along"
On man came along did hep"
SAID man came along Was dot
Sometlng2 to make you shmile? Sergeant,
! doan like dot vhay YOU shpeak 10 me
Was L boy? Doan' / know some beansa"
Mr.. Dunder.'' said the sergeant. as tho
goat got away with the last remnant OF
i nat ana looked hopefully around for an old
poot, we will go inside Now, then. what
nave you got to say to me?"
Nottings."
Yes, you have. man CANA along
What did he want?"
He doan' rhant nottings He vhas a
of me-" S
II see. You are great friend OF the
poor Ar. Dunder. He called on you and
WHAT"
''Vhell. he came in my place und said
vhas Carl Dunder. / vhas Dot vhas all
right. He shust like to gaze on me because
!, ne rsad3 so, OF me IN der papers. ] can't help
so pale und seek dot pity him."
OF course: go on"
Il ask him If he doan' half some SEEK
ness. and he cries like a shild BY and
by he says dot his house in Buffalo gets
on fire when he vhas away. und his wife
und shildren burn ocp. His wife vhas
blonde und his children vhas angels und
no more"
Poor man. sighed the sergeant.
How much morey did you give him?"
doan' gif him two cents. Dot vhas
knows dot, und so he doan' ask me- When
dot house burns oop II burns all der sheyy-
elry init it. Dot shcwelry melts altogether
in one lump. you know urd he hunts
aroundt und finds dot lump"
lump with him.
Yes
And he wanted to raise money on it,"
''Nhell, he likes to raise few dollars
to buy tombstones, but ne vhas no dead
beat. If l dosn take dot lump of gold he
doan' take no money
Just so. You have the lump with you.
I suppose?'
"Nhell. I shust put it in my pocket. you
know. Here she vhas. Dere vhas more
ash five hoonered dollar in lot lump nut
diamonds inside. She weighs shust half
pound"
Il see.' said the sergeant. as be received
and Inspected the lump. He didn't want
over 81 did he?'
'Nhell he likes to get so Dot makes
payment on five tombstones. He Will
come aroundt in two weeks und pay me
back If he doan do it, den / shall sell
her for five hoonered dollar Here-vhas
you do nit dot lump"
Il was just tossing II out into the al
ley. replied the sergeant, as he gave it a
heave through the open window
But WY you do dot? Let me pick him
oop. quick
Mr. Dunde..'' said the sergeant. as he
laid OBTAINING hand On him. Il can buy
you all the brass you want at a dollar
pound, / feel sorry for you,"
How vhas j sorry for you? DO you be-
lief dot man vhas a shwindler?"
OF course, / do! You have plenty OF
water at the house, haven't ycu?'
VI has has dot wasscr got to do NIT
him? How you know dot man vhas some
shwindlers?"
When you go home. Mr. Dunder. draw
a tub of water, put ten pounds Of corn
mea! into ii, and then soak your head for
twenty-four hours. If you can't soak u
or your neck get somebody to knock 1t
off with club
Sergeant, vhas-vhas tooken in
AGAIN. gasped Mr.. Dunder as he got so
weak IN the knees that he had to sit down.
Yes, you have been played again That
fellow knew You to be the biggest sucker
in the state Which idiot asylum had YOU
rather go to?'
$3.50 l vhas heat"'
The sergeant lifted him to his feet ana
led him TO the door and dropped him off
the step. Then he pointed down the street
and said:
IF you think you can't find your way
homo I'll send small boy with you or
write your address on a card
Den-ien she vas brass?" murmured
Mr. Dunder.
Yes, she vhas BRASS" replied the ser
geant. Go home. Mr.. Dunder, and be
sure and have the water hot and put In
plenty of bran,''
And Mr.. Dunder crept away with his
feet dragging and his back humped. and
he turned the corner and vanished from
sight without once looking back