The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1896-08-21
nnorHEa aARDNEn,s CLUB.
Hon. Nicodemus Washington Dis.
couraes Politics for Them.
Savannah News).


couraes Politics for Them.
Savannah News.
"Gem'len," began Brother Gardner.
when the campaign club had been called
TO order. de Hon. Nicko6emus WASH
ington. OF Kentucky, am in de anty-room
an watin' TO address us on de subieck
or pollyticks. De gem'len am said to be
= p,.ilian. orator an a forcible speaker,
an he also makes shoe polish dat won't
wash OF. He has applied fur permission
to name n new brand of whitewash arter
dis club. an has about decided ter grant
ms request. De committee Will now
bring de geman In"
RIGHT OFF THE REEL.
The Hon. Nickodemus had no sooner
entered The hall than he began pulling off
his coat and vest. and by the time he
reached the platform he also had his
collar and tie off. His actions showed
that he was there for business, and didn't
propose to waste any time. The members
haon halt sized him up when he step
ned to the front of the platform and
said:
WHY dis turmoil? Why dis excite
ment? Why desc flags an de boom,n'
OF cannon? De Presidenshuaf campaign
of 1896 has opened at last an. dare am Il =,
redhotness all along de line. De Repub-
mean party has put its man in nomina-
shun. an 1 am here tonight to speak OF
mat man an his record. (Cheers).
WHO is WILLIAM M'KINIIEYY
Let us know our man fust of all"
continued the orator as he got a new
grin with his feet. ''Yo' hab ali heard de
name er hundred times ober. but who am
de man? l am here to say to yo' dat he
am white man. He am about feet 10
inches high, weighs 16O pounds, an he
can eat more pumpkin pie at one meal
uah anV odder man in the world. Great
applause).My own son am head waiter
In Cleveland hotel, an he tol' me wild
his own mouf dat Mistah Mckinley got
away wild TO pumpkin pies In de space of
fifteen minits.
ITO my own sartin knowledge. he also
carries dream book In his coattail pock-
cts. an when he gifts up in de mawnin'
II he has dreamed bout seem n black
cat chasin' a white rabbit thro' n CON-
field. yo can't git him outer de house da [
nun daN. AS to watermillyons an per-
simmons. he dotes on 'em. an he amt
afeared to say so. (Cheers). In de wa
termillvon sezun he can be seen gwine
hum any evenin' wild lunkin' big mill
Won under each arm an mo- to cum I'D
by de wagin. (Applause).
HIS PAST RECORD.
"Yo' will nacherally wanter know wha
de man has dun in de past" said the ora
tor. after helping himself to n drink. ~
mas been tracin him back fur almost
fo'tv wears. an kin tell yo' all about It,
He didn't hev muffin to do wild Pyramids
It; He didn't cross the Delaware wild
Gineral Washington, an he didn't land
| from d., MayfioUer.. Dat wasn't his
fari.. howcber-he wasnT bon soon
'nuT. He amt no poet. an we don't
ella Inn he invented de can-opener
HE list didn't lean dat way. 1 could
lie to vo' an tell yo' dat he had stopped
runaway horses, killed mad dawgs an
saved inherent chillun from de trolley
cars. but dis am to be a campaign OF
| / ch at fn,. faI-
de hull nashun owes him n debt of gra /
| ifnde." continued the speaker as the dust
settled down.. "He is de man who fixed
de tariff SO 1t benefits everybody Befo'
ne got up dat bill cowcumber pickles war
10 cents dozen at cherry grocery store
To-day dey am only g. an de market am
| falln'
"rhree vars ago had to pay Sc a cord
| fur stovewood To-day l kin get it fur
30 an If de night am dark an rainy. /
doan hev TO pay cent. NNild applause)
| LOOK at chickuns. Befo' dat new tariff
went into effect chickuns wus strong al
II cents pound. l kin go to-day and
buv carload at 10 cents. CHEERS and
whocps). Same way wild bacon-gone
down 2 cents pound, while Goldfish am
wabblin' about an havin hard time
to hold its own. Enthusiastic applause)
Right we're on my hand am n dimun ring
dat yo' couldn't buy three years ago
short of seben dollars. De jew'rers went
| DER
laws sot. but Mckinley struck EN- wild
his tariff; an de odder day bought da,
ring for 81. Wild and prolonged cheer
lng,. Three vars ago all suspenders
war so cents par. wild a firm market.
To-day vo' kin take yo'r choice of a
hundred brands fur only two shilln',
wild de market way down in de dumps.
we hev Scent lemonade. 2-cent ci-
CARS. scent whisky. 50-cenr shirts and To-
cent straw hats: an Mckinley gin cm to
us. Rent am down so low dat II don,
pnv the landlord to bodder yo'. while dc
man who blacks stove an whitcwashes
er ceilin' kin ak SO per cent. mo- dan
cher befo'. applause, which put out two
iamps); In windin' up my remarks,
dat dare am a banner on de outer wall
an dat banner am inscribed: Mckinley
or Death-one an inseparable- T. pluri-
bus unum and vote airly an often "
tFrantic and boisterous applause. dur
ing which nearly all the plaster fell off
the ceiling, the rest of the lamps went
out and the meeting broke in two in the
darkness).