The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1896-01-08
lot even appear, although it is called

President Stickney's earnest advice to
raise potatoes; or endorses,the St. Paul
Ice Carnival; or the Supreme Courts
decision kicking the members of the
Legislature out Of the fat places they
had crawled into; or whether it sup
ports the Monroe Doctrine and ap-
proves of war with England.
AS God is presumed to have made
these insignificant creatures, Gust as
he made John l.. Macdonald,) they
ought to be studied, (as we have been
studying Macdonald); and He has
doubtless created men who, in this
wonderful era, will be content to
spend theirlives digging into the mud
to meas ure the hairy tails of mimi
tesimal bugs, and proclaim astounding
facts as to where they are differenti-
ated from the bugs in the next pud-
die: and we have, in the Smithsonian
Institute, at Washington, an institu-
ton tablished for the express pur-
pose Of paying the cost Of publishing
really valuable works on such sub
jects. But why the people. Of this
VI
with wheat at forty cents bushel
and barley at fifteen and oats at
twelve, and potatoes at nothing,
should be taxed to get up huge vol
umes, half pictures, about insects
that live in the mud, passes the COM
prehension Of any sensible man. II
they were grasshoppers or chinch bugs
or army worms which. affected the
pros perity Of millions Of people, that
would be another matter. But the
average citizen cannot come into con-
tact with these long-named and short
bodied creatures unless he takes off
his shoes and stocking and goes to
wading in the mud; and if he does
any such fool trick as that, he de-
serves to have his toes bitten off by
bug with a Latin name three feet
long. And yet it must be to provide
against the possibility of such
catastrophe that this huge book has
been printed. Great is the foresight
OF wise people.
And this work is put forth under
the auspices of the Board of Regents
OF the University OF Minnesota, in
GLIDING such learned men as Hon.
John S. Pillsbury, and Hon. Cushman
K. Davis. and Hon. Joel 2. Heatwole
and Hon. Knute Nelson; and there is
not one of them who would know the
"Macrothorix tenuicornis Kurz, "if one
was introduced to him i n his tea cup;
or by whom the Genus Lathorura
Lilljeborg" would not be mistaken for
Republican saloOn-keeper in the Red
River Valley.
And this book must have cost the
taxpayers, with all it's engravings,-
probably $4,000; to say nothing of the
annual salary Of the professor, and
the expenses of his whole department..
No wonder the University wanted
100000 for gymnasium! A gullib!e,
fool people ought to be stripped of
everything they have; and then hand
ed a copy Of this wonderful volume,
about the "EntOmostraca" of Mime
sofa, so they could get their money
back.
We would like to have Gov. Clough's
candid opinion of the Genus Bytho-
Trophies Leydig," for he has no doubt
studied them), the ''external aDpen-
dage of whose feet is rudimentary
and the abdomen extends out into
species Of which was "found in the
stomach of Gorgeous Wartmanni." We
would like to ask the Governor, if it
is proper question, whether Gorgeous
with the warts did the fair thing to
swallow Bythotrephes, after the great
photograph? And whether the name
of Coregones, Sounds like an Irish
man, should not be changed to Horr-
hdaodrd0ni guzzlcoron1, and separate
chapter be devoted to him in this
great work, with a portrait, as the
fellow said, of the 'entire SYSTEM"
God help the people, when the pub
lie schools languish, and they are tax
ed to publish an illustrated biography
of bugs.
An essay on toe-nails. with 300
pages of pictures, should be the next
thing for the state to tackle. There
is great deal to be said about toe
nails. Let professor on toe-nails be
appointed by the University at once;
and let him travel all over the coun-
try, with good salary, making photo
graphic pictures Of those vastly i'm
portant appendages of the human
frame.
Talk about "paternalism!' What,
in Heavens name, does the state of
Minnesota want with Estate Zool-
ogist?" We might just as we'll have a
state Rat-Catcher.' Indeed the rat
catcher might do some good, by les
sening the numb OF animals in our
Geological Collection; but what does
the average man in this state want to
know about the creeping things of the
puddles?
And then we have a State Fire War
den! Oh Lord! How would it do to
have the professor of Zoology gather
his Entomostraca, out of the mud,
to put out the fires; and then have the
State Zoologist and the State Fire
Warden mutually eXtinguish each
other; and let the Polyphenus stngnolis
deliver their funeral orations?
Understand: we are not objecting to
the microscopic investigation of the
most obscure forms of life; but it is
not the business Of a poor community,
like Minnesota, over-burdcned with