The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1896-08-06

"A Tale of Two Cities" is the
name of a paper which has just
made it's appearance in Kentucky,
with headquarters in the adjacent
towns of Eddyville and Kuttawa.
The western penitentiary is near
by, and the editors propose to
make feature Of news interesting
to the inmates Of that institution.
The salutatory, written by life
convict, is as follows:
Yielding to the urgent solicita-
tions of ourselves, we have at last
consented to use the personal pro-
nouns in the plural number and
fill ''long-felt want" An origi-
nal idea, which we detected romp-
ing around over the greensward
of our imagination, has suggested
to us the advisability of editing the
news of the prison for the readers
of the Tale of Two Cities. Owing
to our surroundings the scope
of our journalistic labors will be
limited However, as our assign
ment runs concu1rently with that
of our natural life, we feel that
while we are ''short" on territory
we are "long" on time.
We are not biased by political
ambitions, nor circumscribed with
religious scruples. therefore it does
seem that we might tell the truth
when it becomes convenient to
do So In fact, it was our New
Years resolve to try the expert
ment of telling the truth, and we
are so well pleased with the change
that for the present we feel author
lied to say that we will stick to it
at all times that our professional
duty does not require us to do
otherwise. OF course in extract
ing all the juice out of a news item
and in swearing to our circulation
the rule will necessarily have to
be suspended. Touching all cur
rent questions before the public
we are in line with the people, in
fact, it is our custom to line up
three times each day We sub
scribe to the Monroe doctrine"
also to our new state constitution,
by subscribing to both we got the
benefit of club rates.
On the currency question we
are sound. However we feel that
we have a solution for the fnan-
cial problem. We received a cir
cular a few days since from a firm
in Chicago, offering to furnish any
amount of good green goods" at
a tri1ing cost to the purchaser
OF course this is not money and is
not intended to be used as redemp-
ton money. For staple and solid
currency we recommend the gold
bricks as being without parallel.
In matters of religion as in mat
ters of state we are still in line
We think we know something of
the wages Of sin, whether a man
works on commission or a fixed
salary. AS to ourselves we have
been on a salary for a long time,
and feel that as soon as the service
is placed in the classified list we
will get raise. Socially we are
still in line. In our reports Of the
''social' doings in the 'pen' our
aim shall be upward and progress
i've The fluid that trickles from
the point of our stub pen shall
ever flow upward. On it's face this
statement is, apparently, hydro
static impossibility, but it is the
only way we have at hand of meet
ing social necessity. We trust
that these remarks will lay bare
our purpose. and. "gentle readers"
it may be that you will be enabled
to draw a pure lesson from a vile
example.
On the "outside" we frequently
found it beneficial to do business
under the protection of an alias.
and at this late date we shall not
depart from the custom, but will
edit our department over the high
ly literary pseudonym Of yours
obediently,
Timothy Hayseed.
The origin of blue-tinted paper