davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Some Things Ex-senator Ingalls, Doesn't

Ex-senator John j. Ingalls, of Kansas
was recently asked by IL correspondent
of the New York Mail and Express for
his opinion as to the causes OF the hard
times which this country experienced
in 1898 and 1894 His reply was: ''Ihe
contraction of the circulating medium
of all the great nations by the dcstruc-
ton Of the money functions Of silver L.
to my mind, the chief cause In reply
to another question he said, "Prosldcnt
Cleveland coerccd reluctant congress
into the stoppage Of the coinage of the
silver and left our industries paralyzed. -
Mr.. Ingalls, has achieved II national
reputation as u brilliant politician, but
his statements in regard to matters or
fact show him to be either very lgno-
rant or altogether unreliable. His asser-
ton that the circulating medium of all
the great nations has been contracted
simply is not true. France, Germany,
England, Austria and Russia have i'll
creased their joint stock Of money by
more than 81, 600 900, 600 during the
past 20 years. Instead OF contracting
there has been a great expansion OF tho
currency of the great nations.
Nor is it truo that the money func-
ton of silver has been destroyed. On
tho contrary, there Is now i'll the United
States $540, 700, 0O0 in full legal tender
silver, in Franco $434, 800, coo, i'll Ger
many sos, 600, 900, i'll Spain $l2G, O0O,-
600 and in Austria, Belgium and other
European countries $242, 600, 600, all of
this 81, 457, O00 600 being full legal ten
der money. Docs that look like the de-
struction Of silver?
The charge that President Cleveland
coerced congress into stopping the coin
age of silver is another error. Since
March d. 1898, nearly 5000, 900 silver
dollars have been coined. almost as
many us during tho ,ntlro history on
the country previous to 'thc crime OF
1873" 1t is true that TIE silver pur-
chase law of 1850 was REPEALED under
the prest MT administration, lat tho panic
of 1898 began early in that year and
was at its worst several months before
the purchases Of silver bullion were stop
ped. So that it could not have been the
failure to store pig silver and issue GER
tificatcs for it which caused the hard
times In reality it was the danger that
the United States could not keep its III
creasing mass Of silver currency at par
with gold which brought about the
panic from which trade and industry
are now rapidly recovering. If men of
the standing of Mr., Ingalls, would cease
giving aid and comfort to the business
destroying free silver agitators, we
should soon hear nothing Of hard times
us q political issue,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09

ured, and it is Important that its Size
should never be Changed. If it should
be made Bigger on Smaller ut any time,
People who buy Grain would not Know
How Much they were getting.
See the Smart Man coming. IT you
Listen, you can hear tho Wheels Buzz.
He is u Small Bushcl man and objects
to the Great Holding Power of the 2l50
inch measure He has q 1913 inch
Bushel which he is Trying to get the
Farmer to use by telling him that If his
Wheat is Measured i'll it he will have
Twice as Many Bushels.
Will the Farmer be so Simple rs to
Think that the Quantity of Wheat i'll
his Heap will be Doubled by measuring
it in the Small Bushcl, which is Really
only Half Bushcl? Maybe SO, for IL
good many People believe that their
Property can be made Worth Twice as
much as it is now by Measuring it in u
Cheap Dollar, worth half as much as
the Gold Dollar.
1t is certain that a Change i'll tho
Size of the "Bushel' would not make
more Wheat. Neither would Change
in tho Value Of the "Doliar" make the
people Richer. The Smart Man is a Big
Humbug, Just like the Sixteen-To-One
Shouters, who say that Everybody would
DO Rich if Dollar worth Fifty Cents
was used instead of one worth One Hun
bred Cents.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
WHO WOULD GET THE BENEFlTi
The Real Gamers by Free Silver Would
lie tho Mine Owners.


If a 10 to free coinage measure were
to become law next year, who would it
benefit the most? Certainly not tho
farmers and workingmen, who would
find that, though it might increase the
number Of dollars they received in re-
turn for their labor or their products,
these dollars would be worth but half as
much as those now in use. Neither
would tho manufacturers and business
men be benefited by a law which would
make goods Of all kinds far dcarcr, and
therefore lessen the demand for them
and check productive industry and
trade.
The real benefciaries Of FREQ silver
would be the owners Of silver mines,
who would got a higher price for their
products, and the debtors, who would
be enabled to pay off their obligations
in 90 cent dollars. Among those debtors
would be some farmers, but by far tho
greater part Of the debts Of the country
is owed by large firms, corporations,
banks, insurance companies, and SIM
liar organizations.
Thus the farmer, who has many years
been paying premiums on $1,000 fire
insurance on his house and barns, would
under free coinage receive, in case of
loss by fire, only the equivalent Of $500
in our present currency. Tho working
man, who has been paying for ~, 600
life insurance, wuuld tiri that the alop-
ton of the silver standard had cut i'll
two tho provision ne had been making
for his wife and family.
The millions Of farmers and workers
who have little money III the bank
would be compelled, if tho banks
wished, to take dollars worth half
Of those they had deposited. The
great corporations which have borrowed
large amounts from thousands of small
investors, or from banks representing
thousands Of depositors, would have
half Of their debts wiped out.
These results would doubtless be
good thing for the big insurance COM
panies, railway corporations, banks,
Wall street spectators, etc. But is that
any reason why the masses should favor
tho 50 cent dollar policy9
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Poor. Stricken Silver.

Every good silverite knows that the
crime of 1878 struck down the white
metal and made gold the only money OF
tho country. At least that is what tho
free coinage agitators say, and they may
be supposed to have some regard for the
truth.
In view of the alleged characterization
of silver it is important to note that
during the month of May Of this year
tho coinage Of silver at the United
States mints amounted to 1896, 400,
of which $1,000, 900 was in standard
silver dollars of full legal tender. This
is u very curious kind of "demonetiza-
ton.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
What Senator Butler Thinks He THINKS.

Senator Marion Butler ,f North Caro-
lima is the proud poss, ssor Of powerful
mind which evolves great gobs Of tinau-
cial wisdom. Not satisfied with making
five speeches week in congress and
grinding out cheap money editorials for
his weekly Populist paper, the Tarheel
statesman writes Il picco III Tho Arena
magazine which he calls "Why the
South Wants Free COinagc.' 1t is a
truly original and brilliant PopuliSt ar
gumcnt and is about as clear and con-
vinring aS Il statement Of the reasons
"Why the west wants free grasahop-
pers," or "Nhy the north wants free
lunch. ~
According to Senator Butlcr, "thc
south wants tho FREQ and unlimited
coinage f silver on equal terms
with gold, rs it was before 1873, be-
cause THIS would make twice as much
money as if gold alone CT silver alone
Were coined in full legal tender dollars,
Since nobody proposes to take away the
legal tender quality Of the 422, 600, 600
silver dollars already coined this does
not apply to existing conditions and is
therefore no reason for the south favor
ing free silver Besides, the implication
that free coinage would make twice as
much money as We have under the gold
standard simply is not true. If Senator
Butler and his lG to friends had had
their way, the country would at once
drop to IL silver lass. This would im-
mCdiatcly drive out If circulation cur
1928, O00, 900 in gold, leaving us with
less than half Of the money we have
now. How would that help the people
III tho south who say they want more
money? Perhaps Senator Butler realizes
that silver recommendation, which would
inevitably be the result Of his free silver
scheme, would decrease our stock Of mon
ey instead of increasing it. So he goes
on to explain that ''if the free coinage
Of both metals (mcaning the forced coin
age Of silver at a ratio 50 far above It's
bullion value that no gold would be
COMEDY should not make enough money,
then the south wants mere legal tender
dollars made Of something else furnish
cd by the government. 1t is a pity that
he does not explain what the something
else " is to be. Would it be nickel, cop
per, tin, iron, lead or real Populist
brass2 How much something else"
would be coined and at what ratio with
pig silver? And how would the govern
mcnt know when the south or the cheap
money section of its people, had
"cnough" money? Would it be $50,
$500 or So 600 Ipr CaDita?
The Something else theory Of
fnanccis a sample of the rest of Senator
Buffers claim that tho farmers Of the
south want 90 cent dollars for their cot
ton and corn, and that the southern
workingmen want to be paid their wages
in dollars which will buy only half as
much as those they get now. 1t may be
true that great many people i'll the
south think they want free silver at l6
to 1, But it is to be hoped that, deluded
as they arc, they have better reasons for
their belief than those given by the sem
ator who misreprcsents North Carolina.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Money Must Have Valnc.

Every standard measure must have
the dimension or quality it is designed
t. measure. Other qualities are unilu-
portant or Of secondary consequence
The yard must have length, the bushCl
measure must have capacity, and the
measure IF value must have value, BY
this is not meant value i'll use, as the
value If air and water, but value III OK
change, which is the only known value
to political economy. All talk about
any other kind Of value in this cCnncc-
ton is only shallow attempt to cvadc
an inevitable conclusion. 1t is just as
easy and as rational 10 imagine Il yard
stick without length, or q gallon meas
urc without capacity, CT Il pound weight
that weighs nothing, as a dollar with
out valuc, This property If yaluo i'll
heres in money as stuhbcrnly as the 9TH
cr properties inhcro III other standards.
ID. ". McClung in Money Talks, "
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Why tho Price of Wheat Has Fallen.

Tho prctcnso that the low price Of
wheat is due to the imaginary demon
citation of silver in 1873 has no basis
in fact Wheat has not gone down be-
cause less silver money is used, for we
have now over 5000, 900, 600 i'll silver
coins or certificates as against less than
$50, 900, 900 in 1873. So it is certain
that it is not lack Of silver currency
which has reduced the price Of wheat.
A suggestion as to the real causes
which havo made wheat cheaper now
than it was 23 years ago is found i'll the
British board Of trade statistics These
show that in 1891 the Argentine Rcpub-
lie sent to Great Britain %, 1870, 253
bushels Of wheat In 1873 the Argcn-
tine was unknown as awhcat exporting
country, the first shipments TO Great
Britain having been made but Il little
over ten years ago. Since that time tho
railway systems Of the country have
been greatly extended. Immense guam
titles Of the latest and best agricultural
implements and machinery have been
imported, and largo areas of very fertile
land have been put under wheat Guilt
walton.
During the same period the wheat
crops of Russia and India have also
been greatly increased. 1t is these in
creased supplies from sources which
formerly sent littlc or no wheat to the
European markets which have gradu-
ally forced down prices. Wheat is cheap
because more is produced than is want
ed. Free silver cannot stop the compe-
tition of South American or Russian
wheat, nor would it be the slightest
beuefit to the American farmer.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Flat Shad.

Tho United States fishery commission
distributes annually millions Of shad
fry, many Of which escape their natural
enemies and grow to be marketable food
fish 1t is believed that this process OF
restocking the rivers is Of great service
in maintaining the shad fisheries.
When the Populists and silVlrites get
control of the government, they Will at
once Introduce reform which will save
all the expense Of propaGating the young
shad This will be done by simply
printing the words This is one shad'
on millions Of bits Of paper, which viii
he thrown into the rivers Instead of
setting nets, the shad fishers will then
60 ont in boats and gather up ia" paper.
On presentation at the fish commissions
cr's office each paper will ho redeemed
in one bonelcss shad, produced by a
Populist genius who has discovered u
method IF crossing the ordinary Shad
with tn" hitherto worthless jcllytsh.
Fiat fish and no bonus Will br the
platform Of the shaditcs il the year
lyUO-W. d.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
First Book Lessons In Finance.

See the Wheat. There is big Heap.
The Farmer has finished Thrashing and
wants to know How Much Grain he has.
If no has Many Bushels, he will be
Glad, for then he can buy q Lot of
Goods.
He is using Measure. 1t is called q
"Bushel," and if it is al Honest meas
ure it will Always hold 2l50.4 Cubic
Inches Of Wheat. 1t is the Standard by
which Quantities Of Grain arc meas
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
THE GREAT CREDITOR CLASS.
Workingmen VIII Suffer LOSS by Cheap
cning the Dollar.

In Mr. Carlislc's instructive speech
to the Chicago workingmcn he especial
ly directed their attention to the extent
to which working men and women Ill the
United States are themselves entitled to
be ranked in the class of capitalists and
creditors For the purpose Of reader APP
prehcnsion we have set out in tabular
form statement of dcpositors and de-
posits in the banks Of the country:
Number nf Amount of
Dcpositors. Deposits.
Savings banks. 4,e7o,5l0 $l,elO,ot',U N
State and private banks
and trusts ..............1 100000 1870, $4,000
National banks. l,GS,30 l,7ol,6o3,5H
OF the dcpositors in the national
banks 1.724, 900 persons had sums less
than 81, 600 to their credit. These fig
urcs serve to show who own the bulk OF
the bank deposits
Now the whole amount of money OF
all kinds in circulation in the United
States is as follows:
Gold soVo,""'o"o
Silver and silver certificates. oVOuV,VN
Subsidiary silver. 7s,0tp'oo
trecnbackS.. ................,....'' Oip'WN'Vo
National bank notcs............. 2l5,oo,oN
Total and worth in gold. 73o, uO,UVO
twill be perceived that the depositors
in the savings banks have more money
to their credit in those institutions than
tho amount of all the gold, silver and
paper currency in tho country, besides
the still greater sums held for them by
the national and state banks, trust COM
panies and private bankers. The build
ing associations owe to their members
$500, 600, 900. Insurance companies owe
u still larger sum.
In the light Of the fact that money is
only a measure of value, what interest
can the workingmen Of the United States
have in cutting down the measure one
half so that every dollar Of the immense
amount which the banks and other In
situations owe to them i'll gold can be
paid with silver at the rate Of 80 cents
on the dollar?-Philadelphia Record
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09

1t certainly needs 10 argument to
demonstrate the truth of the proposition
that if two dollars are issued, one worth
90 cents and the other 100 cents, the so
cent dollar will be the only dollar in
circulation and the 100 cent dollar will
be boarded by the banks and individuals
until the whole volume Of such currency
entirely disappears. This law is of uni
vcrsal application and has its origin i'll
human nature itself No debtor owing
800 would discharge that indebtedness
in the more valuable of two moneys.
He would surely make use Of the cheap
er and retain the dcarcr. 1t was the
knowledge Of this law that guided the
fathers in fixing the ratio i'll the begin
ming at 10 to Hon. }. {. burrows.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
A New Experience.

Magistrate Ito Wtncss)- Now, bear
in mind, Uncle Rastus, that YOU have
sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
Uncle kastus somewhat tlnstrat"D
yves, sab, but | h-hopcs de %cmmcn
II go kinder slo' on de stat, sab, cos
yo' sees, yo' honah, ! haint yuse ter dat
sort O thing-Bay City Chat.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09

The philadelphia Times says of Sell
ator Buffers proposition TO make the
Mexican dollar and japanese yen full
legal tcndcr in the United States that
"thc proposal to increase the number OF
half price dollars only shows that Sen
ator Butler and those who agree with
him caro- very little for public or pri-
waite integrity If the present flood Of
debascd silver coin is to be doubled by
foreign importation Of tho same sort
somebody is going to be swindlcd y
The Philadelphia Telegraph says: 1.-The
Stiffness of the whole business is further
shown by the fact that not ten men i'll
North Carolina ever heard Of a Japa-
ncsc yen, and very few moro of them
ever saw or are ever likely to sec Mex
lean silver dollar.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Which Side Arc You On?
A Free silver Object Lesson.

The farmer i'll an interior PcnnSyl-
vania town who kept his silver dollars
'hoardcd i'll Lard krg, and found after
they had been struck by lightning, that
he had mess Of fused silver on his
hands worth only 30 per cent of its
Former valuation as coin, had lInr OBJ
iort lesson III the beauties of the FREQ
silver doctrine. -ph.luolphia Bulletin.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Mathematical Conclusion.

Aunt Dorothy-IIow many command
ments are there, Johnny?
Johnny (glibly)-Ten.
Aunt Dorothy-And now, suppose
YOU were to break one of them?
Johnny (tcntatively)-Then there'd
be nine.--Tit-Bits.
Remarkably Alike.
"What l like about your writings,
said the Thoughtful editor to the young
man in the tight-ftting coat, sis their
resemblance to Emerson's."
us that SOP" cried the delighted
Young man, clasping his hands to-
gether.
The editor nodded.
"May I-er-ask," timidly ventured
the Young man, 'wherein your discern
ment and critical Judgment discover
this - er - resemblance? And the
Young man blushed again.
Once more the thoughtful editor
nodded.
"You employ the same punctuation
marks" he said, kindly.-N. y. Re
corder
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Remarkably Alike.
Tested.

Smart Wifc-Don't worry, George. l
wrote an article for the paper 'o-ua!'
showing how to get up u family DIN
ncr for one dollar, and took it around,
and the editor gave me a dollar.
Observation-Disclosures rare piece o1 good
luck. What are you going to do with
the dollar?
I'm going to try that recipe myself
and see if it will work. ~ y. Weekly.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Susceptible of Proof.

"Ilc doesn't know anything at all,
according to you??"
"That's il. He's an inspired IDIOT"
Can You advance anything in proof
Of tha, Statrmcnt?"
"Crrtainly. can show that he is n
practical Joker"
"Thcn your case is proved. Chicago
Evening Post.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09

Il guess I'm stuck" said the answers
to-corrcspondcnts man.
What is it?" asked the rest of the
force. in deep sympathy.
"Grl writes to know which of her
fanccs should have the preference in
going with her to church-the first ON"
or the second Cincinnati Enquirer,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
A Safe Conclusion.

Mrs. Stingicuss-What does the doc
tor say is the matter with my husband:
Nurse-llc says he has bicyclcd 50
much that something about the size Of a
mustard seed has logged down into his
vermiform appendix.
Mrs. Stingicuss (revengefnlly) 1t
must be his hearth. y. World.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
She Inil Him Ont.

williamson hear JaEman was so
drunk last night that several of you
fellows had to take him home on a
shutter. Did his wife think he was
dead?
Hendersohn-She must have. She
was certainly laying him out when We
left.-Peck'S sun.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Afraid OF Himself.

Thought you were going to run for
alderman, JaXon?'
I've been thinking ii over, and have
come to the conclusion that | haven t
the gall to be successful alderman. |
guess I'll keep on peddling sewing ma
chimes" -Cincinnati Enquirer.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09

Matrimonial Agent-Well, | think We
can arrange something without much
diiliculty; but We shall have to state
your age.
Appicant-Oh! 2S.
Matrimonial Agent-'Er-couldn't
YOU knock off few years?
AppIcant-~Oh, I've done that al
rcady-Sketch.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Not the Same.

Little Mabel Papa, does our family
own Il planet?
"What nonsense, child. Who put
that idea into your hcad"'
Little Mabrl-Why, | ASKED teacher
last night what big star it was above
us, and she said it wasn't star. but 4
planet, and that it was ma s.-Brooklyn
Life.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Her Dear Friends.

Maud-Mss Millsap is so very plain!
But she sings well.
Irene Poor girl! She never can I'M
derstand why it is that when young
Mr.. Pcdunclc comes to see her he turns
down the light and then asks her to
sing.-Chicago Tribune.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Queer.

The room was dark; their favorite chair
was in its wonted place.
He stole up quietly and dropped kiss on
some ones face:
A light! 1t was her pa! And now he muses.
like to this
In striving thus to kiss a miss, l surely
kissed amiSS."
Richmond Dispatch.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Chicago Forethought.

Mr.. Porkchoppe-What on earth in
duced you to buy a dozen pair of boots
at once? You may never live to wear
them all out.
Mrs. Porkchoppe (sarcastically)--
In that case they would come in handy
for your next wife.
MIR. Porkchoppe Observation-Disclosures
only wears AK. (Retires hastily under
fre.)-Town Topics.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09

Mrs. East-And what did you think
of Mr. InkWelI. the novelist?
Mrs. West-Why, his clothes are so
very old fashioned. And understood
that he was celebrated for his style
Brooklyn Life.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09

Miss Snobbcrly- never think Of
going to the Robinsons' parties, though
they always invite us.
Miss Sharpe-lve heard that that's
the reason they give for inviting you
Odds and Ends.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
= Gee --.--s---- -z-. -
Nh Flint for Her,

In dreamy rapture he kissed her
golden tresses.
1.-The future" he exclaimed. joyously,
"with it's castles in the air"
She turned with sudden carnestness.
"Reginald,' she said, decisively,
don't deceive yourself. tell you, once
for all, l shan't live above the second
story under any circumstances. IN.
" Journal
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
The Dear Old Maids.

Miss Elderly simpered. "Really,'
She gurgled, 81 cannot see why he is SO
Interested in poor me-"
II can said her friend Madgc. Don't
YOU know these women with past arc
quite the fad now?" Town Topics.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-07-09
Married In Haste.

Jinks--Hcllo, Blinks! Hear you had
great time getting married-eloped
with the girl-father and mother furi
ous-gaye chase, but they didn't catch
you, did they?
Blinks Sadly Y. Weekly.