Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-10-29
The JOKERS BUDGET.
TESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
or THE PRESS.
Deiinsd---Wantsd To Be HepfuI--An Ad.
Unstable Hat Wantsd.--Ths Report Is
Trus-..Trying to Please Him.

Needy Nicsels Say, Pete, w'ots
charity?
PIodding Pcts--Two cold blskits an
cord o. wood.
WANTED TO BE HELPFUL.
| Banker to new casher) Look here,
| II yon are ever seized with the desire TO
run off with the cash, let me know; III
30 with YOU"
| AN ADJUSTABLE hat WANTED.
Jaggs-'I want 20 get a new hat"
Hatter--"Which size-night before or
morning after.'
He-What will my little wiley do while
am away from home all day. Will she
sew or darn stockings, or whats
She Nit.
THE REPORT - TRUE.
"There Is q report that Buzbee has q
large floating debt" announced the cash
| ier TO the teller.
"Yes. sir; an $50, 600 steam yacht"
TRYING TO PLEASE HIM.
Arizona Pcte--Shorty GrizzIe shot
Dempster full of holes.
Alkali Jack-1hats aly right. Denp-
stcr was always crank about ventilation.
BADLY BROKEN.
Dobson-Does it cost you very much
for repairs to yonr bicycle?
Hobson-Well. yes, but not nearly SO
much as II does for repairs to myself.
KNOWLEDGE COSTS MONEY.
Irate Palron--'.sce here. sir. dropped
a nickel into this machine, and nothing
came out"
"Agent-'.If nothing came out, that
shows it's empty"
But, sir, what do get for my nickel"
''lnformation."
POSITIVE PRooF.
Miss Daisy Meelders (coyly) Do you
love me, Jason?
Jason Iuckleberry-Course love you!
Do you have been actin the fool over
you all this time If | didn't
WONDERFUL DESoUsMEsr.
''Did yon complete the story you were
at work ON"
"Yes," replied the litterateur.
"You were in doubt as to it's conclu-
sion. Did il have a happy or all UNI
happy ending"
Cnhappy. The editor refused to print
it."
ROUGH on THE DoCToEs.
Smith read of so many cases of
people being buried alive. Is there no
remedy for it?
Jones-The only remedy know is for
the legislature TO pass u law compelling
doctors to finish their work properly.
JoHNNY's APPETITE.
johnny (visiting)-Can I have another
biscuit?
lohnny's Ma-Why. Johnny, what an
appetite you have.
Johnny-tfm. You're two ahead of
me, ma.
IN TIE SWIM.
''By love. but I'm lame. It seems as
If my back would break in two"
whats the matter? Have you been
taking too much violent cxercise."
''Guess so. | was mt reception last
night, and never had such time getting
into dning-room in my life"
pRlDEs FALL.
Tramp -'Glease, mum. amt nau no
food fer three DAYS Can you give me
something TO eat:"
Mrs. slimdiet (haughtily)-'My terms
for board are 81 week"
Tramp STRENGTHENING up)-"Beg pard-
ing fer troublin' We; l didn't know this
was q boardin- house. / amt hungry
nough ter eat boardn' house vittles.
Good-day, mum"
Weary Watkins-Say. Hungry, this
here booze is great. Would it be an in
suit TO asst how you got 1t,
Hungry Higgins Worked a old guy
fer quarter.
Now, what did you want to Introduce
that there word fer 1t clean takes al the
enjoyment out of the OCCASION
"Wot word."
THAT there word beginnih' wit W."
she WASN'T SURE
Gadys-"That young man looked at
you very hard 10 you know him."
Dolly think have seen him before,
but really can't remember whether he
was the gen leman who saved my life
from drowning. or merely one of those
to whom / was engaged"
TO GET PROPERTY cuzAPLY.
.Iudkins-l learn. through your agent.
that you have bought the properties on
either side OF your residence and got them
dirt heap. How did you manage it.