The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-04-05

I I ordered my bike. the very finest made,
| and / acted like the widow who gaZod
/ out 10 see" until il came: and when it
/ did come ! came very near having
/ spasms, so the neighbors said. You know
/ how 1t is when a man gcas a new bike"
| If you do not you have missed great
deal. Our elated friend Is at supper, We
Will suppose, when the eXprcssman
brings in the machine He instantly
throws down his knife and fork and runs
down TO gather it i'm, and keeps the ex-
pressman waiting half an hour by ask
ing him to. help him open it. When il
/ is unpacked he admires it for a while
and then discovers that the lunkhead OF
n dealer has not sent him any pump.
After ten minutes searching he finds this
article in a small package under the
seat. He gets things straight and mounts
IL i'm the front hall and gracefully breaks
a lamp and turns over several pots of his
wife's choice flowers. BY this time IL is
dark and the house is full Of curious
neighbors. Just now ne tells his wife
that he is going to ride over 10 Bill
Smiths and show him his purchase. lie
rides off amid the cheers Of an enthusiast
tic gathering Of friends. who spend the
rest Of the eyning talking about Blanks
new wheel.
1 do not mean to say that did every
thing mentioned, but / proceeded along
those same lines. You know the whole
OF the human race merely walks in one
beaten track anyway Some man Will
think that he is wonderfully original
when he starts something. but he is
only chagrined later on when he dis
covers that it is only a rehash of some
thing that was discovered ages ago. In
short, there is nothing new under the
sun.
But 1 am digressing-my bike arrived
and was speedily put together. ] had
never been on one before. but my friends
told me that the learning was a mere
matter Of form. Without there was more
form than l had ever seen about any
thing before. They said that L had only
TO jump on and turn the pedal Tor dear
life. and all would be wei. did that and
the results were alarming. 1 did not
have the least difficulty in keeping on
the wheel. oh, no. that was not the rub
at all; but the wheel got away from
me- and If l had been on a four-drve
with the throttle open l could not have
been worse of than 1 was.
VERY UNRULY ARTICLE.
The machine would make a heavy tack
in one direction and strike some person
in the ribs who was peaceably crossing
the treet. Then IL would straighten and
start on another tack and suddenly halt
between the hind legs Of horse which
might have been more or less danger
Gus. When l thought 1 had ridden FAR
enough (and l had been thinking that
sOmetime) I decided TO turn hround,
and that process was very amusing in
deed. L have a faint recollection OF be-
ing thrown off at a tangent somewhere
into space but cannot recall particulars.
l thought at the time that i should like
at least a half an acre 10 do the turn
in. II may be done in a quarter of an
acre. am told, but l doubt IL seriously.
At the other end Of the route they as
sured me that / got along very nicely in
deed. This was ironical. 1 cannot bear
being made fun OF, and there are very
few people who can.
The next day l tried the "bike" and
found that l had improved wonderfully.
| could miss as many as three oncOm-
ing obstacles out of ten. That was very
encouraging for q beginner. But every
night aftep these exercises found me
very sore indeed, and / sometimes
thought Of giving up in despair. But
the morning light would bring hope, and
would start out again stronger than
ever. The main trouble seemed to be in
walking after L had ridden a great deal.
lifted my feet a foot or more from the
ground, which gave me the appearance
OF slowly ascending the golden stairs"
They all told me that / would get used
TO that as soon as l got used to riding
the bike"
IL is truly astonishing to see how much
care man takes of his new wheel. |
used To spend an hour and a half each
day polishing and rubbing on mine. and at
the end of that time all of the dirt would
be neatly accumulated on the end OF my
nose and my shirt front l always put
on All old pair Of trousers. but they did |
not seem 10 catch II at all. Our cook !
who is a shrewd one. used to attempt |
to blow the kitchen fire with my pump.
RACING AGAINST TIME.
There is no telling how many miles I |
rode after learning the ropes. 1 do not |
think that IL could have been less than