davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-02-26

gave her box of Rough on Rats What the
! Democratic party needs, said Mr.. Nye. sis
not so much a new platform as a car load OF
assorted brains that some female seminary
| had left over"
An Englishman was talking with Mr.. Nye
| in Laramie about English and American
| humor.
"In my opinion" said the Eng!ishman, "the
humor of the United States, i: closely ex-
amined. VIII be found to depend in great
| measure on the ascendancy which the prin-
! cple of utility has gained over the imagina'
| tions of a rather imaginative people"
"Just SO. -" replied Bill. "and according 10
! my best knowledge. the humor OF England II
! Closely examined. will bo found just about
ready to drop over the picket fence into the
| arena. but never quite making connections.
| II we sean the English literary horizon we
will find the humorist up a tall tree, depend
| ing from a sharp knot thereof by tho slack Of
his overalls. He is just out Of sight at the
! time YOU look in that direction. lie always
has a man working in hi. place, however.
! The man who works IN his place is pering
down the half sole and newly regging joke
that has recently been sent IN by the foreman
! for repairs"
On the occasion of my visit to Laramie Mr..
! Nye introduced mo to my Laramie audience.
His introduction was like this:
| "LADIEs AND GENTLEMEN-I am glad that
| il has devolvsd upon ME tonight TO announce
that we are to have an interesting lecture on
! lying by one of the most distinguished
| (there was pause, for Mr. Nye's infection
! indicated that be had finished, ana the audi
! cnce reared with delight, that il was some
| time before the sentence was concluded)-lec-
turers from the East"
Mr.. Nye continued: "We have our ordinary
country liars in Laramie. but Mr.. Perkins
comes from the metropolis. Our everyday
! liars have a fine recotd. We are proud of
| them, but the uncultured liars Of the prairie
cannot be expected to cope with the gifted
and more polished prevaricators from the
cultured East Ladies and gentlemen, permit
me to Introduce you to Ehar Perkins
"Ladies and gentlemen. II .aid in reply. 81
| feel instantly battered by your Laramie
4 humorist's tribute to my veracity, but truly
| l am not as great liar as Mr.. Nye--" and
| then seemed to falter. The audience saw
my dilemma and applauded. and finally /
! couldn't fni,h the sentence for somo mo-
ments, but continuing said: 81 am not as
hig liar as Mr.. Nye--would have you
| think"
| dav or two after this / picked up the
Boomerang and read this paragraph
"Nhen Eli Perkins was passing through
| Laramie he SAID he was travelling For his
wifes pleasure.
7" Then your wife is with youP suggested
| our reporter.
4" Oh. no. said Eli. 'sho is in New York ="
MELVILLE d. LANDoN.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-02-26

good enough. / was impatient to De-
gin, but did not consider it safe to
start work until half-past twelve. The
window gave me more trouble than
had expected; the catch was very stiff,
and had nothing but my pocketknife
to force 1t back with. However, I got
it back at last and opened the window
very slowly. an inch at a time, making
no noise. Then / got in.
] no sooner got my feet down on
the scullery floor than was knocked
headlorg and found O thirteen-stone
weight on my chest. / asked it, speak
ing under difficulties, to get off again.
i was bit dazed, for had come down
hard and bumped my head, but saw
the only thing to do was to sham drunk,
and i spoke thickly. Iundid one end of
my collar, pulled my hair over my fore
head, hung my lower lip, and put On a
bleary stare. By the time that man
had got off my chest, struck a match
on the heel of his boot, and lit the
candle behind him, / looked complete
drunk if ever any man did.
could see now that the man who had
knocked me over was Rev. William
Lake himself. And the more looked at
him the more felt sorry that had
ever come.
'Well," he said, you dirty little
ginger-headed, two-penny-half-penny
scoundrel, what are you doing here?'
hiccoughed and answered.: "Thor
thish was my housh--nummer twenny
Willetsh Terrish. Amt this rip"
"That won't do," he said, 81 heard
you round the house an hour ago-or
shouldn't have been here waiting for
you. Besides, drunken men don't open
windows that way. You're not drunk.
Drop it."
thought about it for a moment and
saw that there was good deal in what
he said. So / dropped it. / fastened
my collar again, sat up, and pulled off
my cap.
"very WELL" said. "then what's the
move now?"
l suppose he saw my hand slipping
round for he SAID quickly: "Haye you
nny weapons?"
"Bless you, no! j only"
Before l could finish he was sit.
ting on me again. / tried smash al
him, but he caught my wrist and
nigh broke ii. After that didn't try
again. 1t wasn't only that he was big,
ger. heavier and stronger than most
men; he was quick as light and you
could never tell from his eye what he
was going to do next. He went all
over me carefully, and took my knife
and the shooter and my Jenny. Then
i saw that the game was up.
what silly little liar you arei" he
said.
AS / have said, / saw that IL was all
mp, and couldn't make il any worse.
] was a good deal disappointed, and |
had been roughly handled, and alto
gether j was not in the sweetest tenn
per. So ! spoke out. said thai did
not want any (adjective omlttcd)
preaching from a substantive omit.
ted like himself. All asked was what
his tadJcciye omitted) move was.
"if you swear any more" he said. II
shall be compelled 10 cause you con.
siderable physical pain"
had a bumped head and barked
elbow. was fairly coppcd and my
teLipcf got The oc,ter Of lng again. II
was foolish oi me. but may have
thought that ne. being par-on, would
not actually strike me. Anyhow, 4
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-02-26

thought so myself. But It is quite
certain that you might have done bet
ter. How did you come to this?"
Il had no bringing up, and l read
penny trashy novels"
He tapped his foot impatienty on the
carpet: well, well-go on"
''Then 1 was led away by bad COM
panions and took to drink and gam
bling, and not knowing what ii was to
have mothers tender"
He got up and interrupted me. "Now
drop all that" he said. "I want facts,
tell me the story of your life. How did
you come TO this?"
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-02-26
WANTED MTSCELLANEO Us.
HELP UIATED- MAZE.

S,ALEsMEN WANT D-sioo TO sl2S per month
- and expenses; staple line; position peTman-
snt pleasant and Desirable. Address. with
stamp, King Mfg Co. G55, Chicago.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-02-26
TO BE CONCLUDED.
For Weak Men With Nervous Debil-
ity This is Certainly the Chance of
a Lifetime

Weak men suffering from nervous de-
blllty, weakened powers and exhausted
vgor, can now take new hope. Here is
something which will powerfully interest
them. 1t Is fact thst un IL now suffer
ers have been Cebarred from seeking a
cure by the grest specialists in these COM
plants ow ng to the cost OF travel to the
large city ana the high fees charged by
these eminent physicians.
Here, therefore, Is a chance for weak
men In our community which should not
be lost. Dr. Greene OF 80 Temple
Place, Boston, Mass, who has the largest
practice In the world, nd who is without
doubt the most successful specialist in
curing this class OF diseases oifets to give
free co sultat.on by mail to ell weakened.
vigorles. and ner exhausted men. You
have the privilege OF consulting DIR.
Greene by letter describing your COM
plsint and he VIII, after carefully consid-
ering your co ditior, SEND you letter
lully explaini. all your symptoms, tell
ing you everything about your com
plant 40 plainly that you will understand
exactly what ails you. He will also give
you his advice, based upon his vast ex-
perlenct and wondcful success i'm treating
ara curing such cases, A. 20 Just what TO
do get cured. All this win cost you
nothing and you can thus have consultu-
tion with the best-known physician and
ecknowle ged most successful specialist
IN the world, without leaving home and
AZ 30 expense VIII teyCr. lie doctor is the
itcovercr OF thst greatest Of medicines.
Ut Grcene's Nervura blood ard nerve
remedy, and be has discovered many
other most valuable sDec'nl rcrprdics.
Write I him now for this . the chan, .
81 lifetime To get cured which you may
never have again.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1896-02-26
HELP WANTED-FEM1LEs.

VyvANTED-A GOOD GIRL FOR GENER
w housework Apply with references from
to and TO s at li6 Brook st f25-2
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27
CURE CONSUMPTION

T. a. sioourr., M. c. ,hs Grea, Chemis,
aad Scientist, Offers 10 Send Free. 10
the Afflicted. Three Bottles Of His
Newly Discovered Remedies to Cure
Consumption and al Lung Troubles
Nothing caus,! be i:lirnr more phiian
thropic or carry more ins IN It's wake than
the Offer Of T. A. Ssocuai. NJ. C, OF lS3
Pearl street, New York City.
Confident that he has discovered an ab-
soiste cure for consumption and all pull
n,oaary complaints. and 10 make its M iit>
known, he will send, FIRE, three bottles
(the Slocum new system ot nies'icinel
I 10 any reader wAo is SUFFERING from chest.
throat and lung troubles or consumption
He invites those desifcis OF obtaining
thc remedies TO simply send him their ex-
press and postotiice address, and receive
in return the three bottles.
Already this new scientific course oi
medicine" has permanently cured ihous-
anis OF apparently hopeless cases.
He considers it his religious duty-a
duty whc! he owes 10 linnianiiy-io do
nate his intaliibic clre.
lie has proved consumption to be 4 cur
.lic disease beyond any doubt.
There will be no mistake III sentiin9 =
tho mistake viii be ia overlooking The
Doctor 5 generous invitation. lie has on
file IN his American and European labor
atorit-s thousands OF testimonials OF ex-
pcriencc from those c;lc,s, in all parts o.
The world.
DELAYS aredangcrors mail your address
to 7. 4. Slocnni, Nj. G., lS5 Pearl street,
New York. and when writing the Doctor.
please mention reading his article IN The
Iowa Stale Blstandef.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27
Notice to Redeem from Tax Sale.

State of Iowa, Polk county. IS.
70 Frank e. Hopkins: You are hereby
notified that on the 4th day of December,
A. ID. 1893, the following described prop
|erty, situated in Polk county. Iowa, was
sold for the taxes Of 1892, which property
Is described as follows. to-wit: Lot Eighty
six (S6), Cottage Addition to and now
forming part OF the City of Des Moines,
Polk county, Iowa.
That the same was at such sale pur-
chased by J G. Springer and a certificate
issued TO him by the Treasurer Of Polk
county, Ia, and by tho said &c Springer
the certificate was duly assigned to j. II.
Phillips, and he is now the owner ard
holder of said certificate. and that the
right of redemption will expire, and a
treasurer's deed will be made, unless re-
|dcmpti0n from such sale be made within
ninety days from the completed service
hereof. J. II. PHILLIPS,
Lawful owner and holder of said certificate
There are eleven colorcd mem
bers in the North Carolina L egls
lature.
Subscribe fol the Bystander.
bie unst, uefcared H1p.tt,4. lepp....~..-.
= M
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27
NOTICE or E.TPIRA7ION

To YIN. J. Dalton:
You are hereby notified that the follow
ing described real estate, situated IN Polk
county, Iowa, to-wit: Lot twelve Q2),
block eight go town Of Chesterfield, now
included IN and forming part Of the city
OF Des Moiies. Polk county, Iowa, was
sold for the taxes OF 1890 on the 9Th day
of December, 1891, to &. II. Kelsey, that
TIE certificates of sale thereof have been
assigned 10 and are now owned by j. H.
Phillips, and that the right of redemption
will expire, and treasmer's deed for said
land will bemade unless redemption from
such sale be made within ninety days
from the date of completed service OF this
notice, You will govern yourself accord.
ingly.
Dated October 81, 1896.
j. II. PuILLTps,
Lawful owner and holder of said dertiii-
cate
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27
BRUCE AND WASHINGTON
BIOGRAPHIES.
BLANCHE X. BRUCE.

Blanche X. Bruce, who has held some
Of the highest Offices in his colntry's gin,
was born slave i'll Prince Elwares
unity. Missouri, and HIS life reads like
omance He pursued special studies at
& home AMI becnme n student at Oberlin.
Al er the war he went 10 Mississippi.
where lie history al his political career
began. He was made sergcant-at arms
Of the legislature, a mesnbsr OF the Missis-
s;ppi ierce board. sheriff of Bolivar county
-. 1871 te ls-4- comfy superintendent OF
education in 1878, and was elected Uni-
ted States senator on tht Sd OF February.
1875, as a republican, taking his seat en-
the 4tI Of March, 1875, and serving until
March 5. 1881. He was member OF
every. republican convention since 1865.
Oh lie 18th Of May. 1881, he entered upon
his duties as register Of the treasury. to
which he was appointed by President
Garfield, and he faithfully performed his
/ duties for the term Of that Office.
rRoF. HOOKER T. WASHINGTON.
PROT. Booker Taliaferro Washington has
made a name for himself Of which he has
reason to be proud. His real worth lies
ii, the direction educational work among
his D, ople. lie was born April Is, 1885.
in Hale's Ford, Va, but was early re
moved TO West Virginia. He graduated
from Hampton institute at the age OF 10,
and in The same year entered Wayland
Seminary, whence he was calledto I'LL the
chair Of professor at Hampton. There he
was elected BY The Alabama state authori-
ties 10 the presidency Of Iuskogee Insti-
tute, which he organized in 1851. MIR.
Washington put brains and energy into
his work, and the school under his man
agemeiit has grown from an institution
with one teacher and thirty students to
one with twenty teachers and three hun
dred students. The property, which is
worth SOS, coo, consists of 80 acres, and
is provided with a blacksmith shop, brick
yard, printing Office and several large
school buildings, some oil them being bnilt
$ ~ the students. Mr. Wasliington's work,
though wonderful in its scope and pro-
gress, has Just begun.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

The Bystander acknowledges a
letter accepting congratulations
from Hon. M. A. Hanna, chair.
man of The National Republican
committee, and his committee for
the good work that we done for
the republican party aud cause Of
sound money in Iowa this fall.
Also that the Bystander was en-
tered upon their special list. We
are thankful for this honor, yet we
have done no more than any hon
est American citizen oughtto have
Lone, except possibly some per-
{, sacrifices. So long as we
lin editors we propose TO ele-
the standard Of our paper,
ndemn the wrong, commend the
God, give true facts and history,
sthat or whole race may be bene-
fitted.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

Let us remark in passing that we have a
superior grade CT Felt Footwear, Alfred
Dolge's'' manufacture, without DOUBT
the best made. They should interest all
Who would wear slippers in winter With
out danger Of taking cold.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27
RACE ECHOES.

r Z Paine. baritone singer,
Joined Lew Johnson's minstrels
Nov. 9Th.
Levy Payne's Female Band has
Joined Steton's Uncle Toms Cabin
company.
Isham.s Octoroons No. 2, are
nlaying TO crowdedhouses in New
York CITY this week.
Tom Mcintosh and vile have
io;ned Isham's Octoroons-the
Eastern company.
Cnss;o r. Davis. latest song s.It
/ conld only blot ont the past. .
has made a decided hit.
Isham's Oriental America Co.
engagement at Paterson, n. >.
Canadian Jubilee SINGERS ana
Imperial Orchestra, are IN bufialo,
y 4 Il. II,
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

broke and IN The reco cut
who majority abdomen He died ia ha'f an hour
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

There are four colored students
attending the State University
this year, and two at Grinnell and
con at Drake. S. ]. Brown, of
Ottnmwa in the Law department
at the State University. O. q.
Siller in the Medical dept, Jas.
Cameron in the Literary and +.
L. Holbsook in the Scientific. In
Grinnell. Miss Blackwell and Mr..
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

Baltimore supports an associ-
alton known as the Booker T,
Washin gtou business association.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27
Snbscribe for the Bystan der

| for expor; by an lmer.r: ii l:l.n.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

The Sheat's school law whisa
prohibits the education of the
races in Florida has been decided
;tional BY Judge Rhydon
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

----.J lne cneap money
That IS the dear money 10 people who
borTow for speculative purposes.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

r. E. Paine, baritone singer,
joined Lew Johnson's Ministries
Nov. 9th.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-11-27

/ umst, uelcaCed NluliflI, lvpl,v...,.-.,'
| governor, by 1888.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20

does the best she can, and if a man will only
help her a little bit at the right time, he
may eat what he likes and as much as he
likes Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are for
people who are troubled with indigestion.
Particularly for those in whom it manifests
itself in the form of constipation. The
"Pellets" are quick and easy in their action
They are in perfect harmony with Nature
They effect permanent cure. You need
take them regularly only little while.
After that, use them occasionally when you
need them when you have eaten some
thing that disagrees with you. They are not
violent i'll their effect, do not derange the
system at all, and may be taken just as
freely as you would take water or any
other necessity of life. Once used they
are always in favor You can get the
"Pellets" at any drug store. If you are
careless enough to let an inscriptions
druggist sell you something on which he
makes more money, it is your own fault
if you do not get well.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20
AHisastrous Failure.

Financial commissions which disturb
the equilibrium of the business world are
productive or far less mischief than the
failure of the kidneys to perform the of.
flee assigned to them by nature. When
these organs become inactive the circula-
tion acquires impurities which bring on
dropsy, diabetes, Bright's disease, gravel,
catarrh of the bladder and other maladles.
To impart to the kidneys and bladder a
healthful impetus, very different from the
excitement produced by an unmedicated
alcoholic stimulant, use Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, the finest diuretic in ex-
istence. This excellent remedy for in
activity Of the kidneys is also of the
greatest service in malarial, dyspeptic,
bilious and rheumatic troubles, and has
received the unqualified sanction of en-
inent physicians. The nervous, the ell
derby and infirm and convalescents de-
rive unspeakable benefit from its use.
Use it with persistence and at fixed in
tervals, and anticipate with confidence
the happiest results.
The news editor prepared an afticle'
in which he said: Mr.. Dash is hopelessly
i'll. Before going to press Mr.. Dash, died
and hasty alteration was made in the
sentence to meet the new condition OF
affairs. When Mr.. Dash's friends read IN
their paper that Mr.. Dash is hopelessly
dead. they we're naturally shocked.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20

When you find person who has tried
Simmons Liver Regulator you are sure to
hear them say something in its favor
Mrs. G. L. Judy, Blue Grass, ILL.,, recently
wrote: 81 can not do without Simmons
Liver Regulator since L know the value
of it as family medicine" And DR.. w.
P. Gibbes, of Beaufort, S. c., says: 81
prescribe Simmons Liver Regulator and
know it to be a first class liver incidence
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20
AGREAT BOOK o r1psS+ AWAY,

Few books printed in the English Ian
guage have reached so great sale as
has DR.. Pierce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser. 1t is book of 1908 large pages
and contains over 800 illustrations - some
of them in colors. 1t is complete family
doctor book. 1t is written simply and con-
cisely and is indexed so that reference to
it is made easily and quickly. Over $50, 900
copies have been sold at the regular price
of ST.. so. The profits OH this enormous sale
enable the publishers to distribute 500, 600
copies absolutely FREE. A copy bound in
strong paper covers, will, therefore be sent
FREE to any one who will send 81 one cent
stamps to cover cost Of mailing only.
SAddress, WORLDS DIsPENsARY MED.
lcAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, N. Y.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20
West Creek MINING District.

Beginning May Is, 1895, the Kuykendall
Transfer company will operate stage
line between Monument, Colo, and Levin
City, Torrington, Manitou Park, North
Cripple Greek and West Greek, towns
com posing the West Creek mining dis.
trict; two trips are made daily, which in.
sures good connection with our trains in
either direction; rates OF fare via the
Santa Fe Route, $3.50. For particulars
call on agents, A., T. & 8. F. Ry.
H. 8. LuTz, Agent,
Santa Fe, N. NJ.
Gro. T. NicHoLsoN, g. p. A.,
Chicago, Ill.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20

A. L. Wooster, prominent citizen of
Osseo, Mich, after suffering excruciating-
ly from piles for twenty years, was cured
in short time by using DeWitts Witch
Hazel Salve, an absolute cure for all
skin diseases. More of this preparation
is used than all others combined. New
tons drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20
ltSBIA.
Live, live, my Lesbia!

Live, live, my Lesbia!
Let us our love enjoy.
Out upon old mems frownA,
Count them not worth toy.
The sun may rise again
When once the night is past
When our brief light is gone,
Deaths long, long night will last.
Come, let us kiss thousand kisses DER,
Add to their number yet hundred more /:
Kisses u thousand, once and once again,
Kisses hundred let us add to them.
Shall, then, our foes hate, knowing our
kisses?
Shall our love vanish, stated with blisses?
No, by the godsl We will blot out the score.
Frank Payne in Academy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20
My little sisters up to date,
The newest thing in sight,
For she, as I am bound to state,
Was only born last night.

For every quarter in mans pocket
there are dozen uses; and to use each one
in such way as to derive the greatest be-
netit ia a question every one must solve
for himself. We believe, however, that
no better use could be made of one of
these quarters than to exchange it for
bottle of Chamberlain's Colo, Cholera
and Diarrhea Remedy,a medicine that
every family should be provided with.
For sale by Ireland's pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-05-20

Mr.. u. p. Davis, prominent livery
man and merchant Of Goshen, Va, has
this to say on the subject of rheumatism:
81 take pleasure in recommending Cham
berlain's Pain Balm for rheumatism, as l
know from personal experience that it
will do all that is claimed for it. A year
ago this spring my brother was laid up
ia bed with intlammatory rheumatism and
suffered intensely. The first application
of Chamberlain's Pain Balm eased the
pain and the use of one bottle completely
I'D him. For sale by Ireland's phar-
macy.