Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1896-11-11
JAMES INCH'S DOWNFALL.
n HR. JAMES INCH is one OF the
MI most staid and dignified citi-
i Il d. ,vo- Cf<v uo novar

NJ II. n
MI most staid and dignified citi-
L Il zens Of Parlor City. He never
drinks, he never smokes, and 1t Is his
firm conviction that Hades Is yawning
for every man, woman, and child that
plays cards. He is a pillar of the local
Methodist Church, has publicly de-
nounced dancing as an invention OF the
devil, progressive euchre and pedro
parties as creased poles to the realm OF
Satan, and trolley parties as an even
more sinful diversion than any Of the
is opposed. One might imagine from
this tina. Mr.. James Inch was an un-
popular man in ParlOr City. Such.
however, is not the case. The inhab-
itants point him out to strangers as
their model citizen, and can't say
enough in praise Of him. That Is be-
cause Mr.. Inch Is a sterling business
man, and So generous and charitable
that his fellow townsmen are willing
to overlook his radical views on things
In the amusement line.
Mr.. Inch had an experience some
weeks ago that came pretty near
knocking down with one blow the
splendid reputation he has built up for
himself in Parlor City. Ii was a most
unfortunate experience for Mr.. Inch.
but 1t provided amusement for his fell
low citizens for days afterwards, and
some Of them are not through laughing
yet.
One bright sunny morning early In
August Mr.. Inch boarded a train bound
for Parlor City at small
way station some twenty miles
from his home. He had gone
| out there the night before on busl-
ness. had missed the last train back.
and a night on a corn husk mattress in
the local tavern had ruffied him about
| as much as he had ever been rutiled In
his life. Mr.. Inch had not been in the
train five minutes when he heard n
| frightful racket in the car behind him.
and on inquiring of the conductor wha t
1t meant was told that both of the rear
cars were full of lunatics who were be-
| ing transferred from New York to the
! State asylum on the hill back Of Par
lor City.
They're IN charge OF keepers. all
right" said the conductor. but they
tell you the keepers have their hands
full. Lor! bnt they do CURSE"
DO you suppose could go look at
them?" asked Mr.. Inch, who immedi-
ately made up his mind that 1t was his
| duty as a Christian man TO go and
speak a few words OF Rdmonirion TO
these men
| Dunno" was the conductors laconic
response. You'll have to ask the
keepers"
Mr.. Inch rose from his seat and start
ed back. He decided that he would not
ask permission to do what was his
plain duty. He felt that the keepers
would refuse him admission to The car,
so he made up his mind to slide in un-
observed. take a seat, and watch his
chance to distribute advice to the un-
fortunate. 1t was not a difficult piece
of work, as the keepers were pretty
busy when Mr.. Inch opened the door
and walked in, and they didn't notice
him at all. He gradually worked his
way to the middle of the car unnoticed
in the bowling crowd of wild-eyed men,
and ensconced himself In a seat beside
red-headed Individual who was
swinging his arms round In most reck.
less fashion and singing in q shrill
voice:
This Is my story, this Is my song.
PraisinS the Savior all the day long"
Over and over again the man sang
the couplet, sandwiching 1t with strings
Of oaths. which sent chills chasing each
other up and down Mr.. Inch's spinal
column. He attempted to talk with
the man, but he might as well have
tried to converse with log Of wood
Others with whom he started converse
tions looked at him SC blankly that he
soon realized it was a hopeless task
and settling down in his seat, he re
solved to say no more.
When we get to Parlor City," he
figured to himself, 'I'll Just wait unit
they get this crew out OF the car, and
then I'll so out myself and go home"
Mr.. Inch's resolution was the result
of a little speculation as to what would
happen to him II the keepers discov
cred that he had entered the car ant
mingled with this crew Of violent an(
irresponsible men.
At the station in Parlor City on ths
same morning that Mr.. Inch boa rdet
the train twenty miles away stood ff
teen keepers from the State asylum
waiting for the consignment Of luna
tics from New York. With them va,
young DR.. Blank. on whose shoulder,
rested the responsibility for the saf,
transportation of the lunatics from
the station to the asylum. DR.. Blanl
was worried. 1t was the first expedi
ton of this kind he had commanded
and he was nightly afraid that some
thing would go wrong. Only a montl
before he had received his appointmen
to the asylum, and escape or revolt du,
: to lack of proper precautions would, b,
knew, mean the loss Of his place. H.
was relieved when the train rolled IL
, and keeper jumped from the steps o
car, touched his hat, and announces
, that all was well.
, ~ hundred altogether, / believe,
the doctor remarked.
Yes, sir; fifty in each car" said d
keeper.
well, march them out as soon q
you can," said DIR. Blank, and b.
hauled out a notebook and prepared t
check of the men as they were hand
ed over to his keepers.
They took the last car first, and Dr.
Blank drew a deep breath Of relie
when the fiftIeth man stepped to tn
platform.
Now for the other car" he said
cheerily, and tho keepers commence
70 hustle tie unfsstunaAas sPG