Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-01-30


If that word Boer You would pronounce,
And find your tongue is balky,
Just speak it they probably ~
Pronounce If in Milwaukee,
Tribune.
Teacher-What was Joan OF Arc mald
of? Pupil-Made Of dilSt--Baston IRAN
= script.
Mrs. Watts am afraid you don't
love work. Dismal Bawson-Deed DO.
muln but, | am SO Observation-Disclosures
oils journal.
Tea clrea-So Georgia. you were named+
after George Washington, were you?
Young George Yes'ln; some time after.
-Roxbury Gazette
Mrs. Wigwag,-I hope you liked the
cigars / gave Won. dear. And, by the
way. / had them charged. WigWag-
What with ?-Philmielphia Record.
"How do you pronounce the last sy1-'
liable of that word 'butterin2" asked
the customer. "The last syllable is 81
lent stiffly replied the &rocer's clerk
Chicago Tribune
Young tloctOr-Do YOU have much diff
ficuity liz making your patients do what
YOU want them TO dog Old doctor-Yes;
particularly when | send in my bills
Philadelphia Press
Friend-It must be awful to have the
newspapers keep saying such things
about you. Political candidate-Yes,
but supposing they didn't say any thing
at all!-SOmeryile Journal.
Professor-Th ancients used palms
as an emblem of capture and victory.
Smart STUDENT suppose that's why
the moderns use them so extensively
at weddings-NeW York Herald.
Been married seven times, has he?
Is he a man of leisure otherwise?' ooh,
no! He's a hard working tailor" What
a remarkable instance OF the survival
of the fittist Chicago Tribune.
Alas, tits eighteen ninety-siX
And bashful man must falter;
For woman now with clever tricks
Will speed him to the altar.
Chicago Record.
''Slloes were BACKED as early as the
tenth century," says an exchange And
look as though they had never been
BACKED since Boston Transcript
Horse Gyp-Are you satisfied that the
team l sold You is We'll matched? Vic
tim-Yes, they're well matched. One is
willing to work and the other is salts
fed to let him. Philadelphia Record.
Does the Old fellow have money!"
II rather think So. Makes a show,
does hep ooh no-but his daughter,
who is 80 years cid. and awfully ugly,
was married last week. '-Gothamite.
eve have no use for bear stories,"
said the editor Our readers demand
something spicy 'Well.'' said the
man with the manuscript, this story
is about cinnamon bear."-Sports
Afield.
Softleigh-The widow Passe proposed
to me last night. Sappenead-R Really!
What did you say? eigh-Told her
I'd be son to her You see, her daugh-
ter got there Philadelphia Rec
ord
Hoax-The building committee has
Just met and we're going to have new
story at our club. .JoaX-Good! I've
worked the old cl'lb stories so much my.
wife don't believe them any more
Philadelphia Record.
isn't that Miss Smedley? / thought
she was sick Somebody told me Dr..
Pankey had given her up We'll, he
did sort O. give her up. but not till after
he had tried five or six times to get
her. Chicago Tribune.
'"These women chefs" sighed the SUI
Derannuated caterer. pushing the plate
sway from him, ought to stick to pol
tiles and business and let mans work
alone. They can't cook worth a dern"
Chicago Tribune.
'Oh, DEAR" sighed Mrs. Cunlso as she
tossed about in bed. I'm suffering
dreadfully from insomnia" ''Go to
sleep and you'll be all right growled
Mr. Cuuso as he rolled over and began
to snore again.-Judge.
Yeast-I wish this restaurant fellow
would print his bill of fare in English
so fellow could tell what he is eat
ing. Crimsonbeak-Good gracious!
Do you want the fellow to lose all his
trade ?-Yonkers Statesman.
Bostonian-It is a fortunate thing for
the English language that these dis
tressing accidents on the trolley roads.
occur in Brooklyn and Philadelphia
where the reporters have ample time,
to write, instead of in your city New-
Yorker-Why? observation-disclosures,
your reporters would refer to the vic,
tins as having been trolleycuted. -Har-
per's Bazaar.