The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-09-06


never vet heard reasonable reason Cor
the existence of women in this world ex'
cent that a man can't do very well with
ont having had a mother. l had mother
ond was very fond of her, but that Isl
long ago that at this moment l can barely
believe liked any woman.
There was only one woman besides my
r,other that 1 ever found useful. She
Nos not beautiful. She had had diff
farenee of opinion with her husband,
worthy gentleman of Irish extraction,
Who insisted upon the right, bequeathed
"a him by generations of ancestors, of
getting royalty drunk every Saturday
evening. and thus getting rid of his week.
ly wage.
The amiable descendant of the mighty
OFlaherty had kindly, but forcibly, DEM
onstrated the justice of his case to his
unreasoning spouse by demolishing his
unreasoning spouse's front teeth and by
augularising the graceful shape of her
nose. In addition to these facial disad-
vantages Mrs. OFlaherty possessed
soulnt of fair proportions and hairy
wart on her right cheek. The whole was
topped and framed by struggling rebel,
lious hair, which had. among her friends
and neighbors, earned for her the nick
name Of "Rotty Carrots an appellation
which she didn't appreciate, and gener-
ally resented when the nicknamer was
youthful and weaker than herself.
Mrs. O'Flaherty was a really useful
member of society. She could mend my
socks and sew on my buttons. She could
make excellent tea and fairly drinkable
coffee. She could cream boots and she
only once dropped letter of mine into
a disused pump which she mistook for
letter box That was, however, not her
fault, but that of the postoffiee authori,
ties who had not warned people against
using that obsolete pump for posting pur>
poses. Altogether l thought very highly
of Mrs. O'Flaherty, so much so that L
didn't resent her being a woman.
Previously to my employing her the SER
vice in my house had been performed by
Mrs OFlaherty's only son and heir
don't believe that the poor lad ever inner
tied anything from either parent except
his fathers love of bad whisky and his
mothers squint. AS these did not furnish
him the wherewithal of satisfying tastes
and habits refined above his station in
life, poor Tim one morning made the ac-
Quaintance of one of her majesty's justices
of the peace who read him a sharp lesson
about the wickedness of borrowing thirty
two shillings which one of his mothers
neighbors had left on her mantel-shelf,
WITHOUT having previously asked that
ladys permission, and sent him to an es-
adjustment where his wants were provid-
ed for by parental government.
nc oil m !, f..1.
When his mother came to me with the
news that her offspring was in goal, 1
didn't know for the minute how to replace
MIN, and in a weak moment consented to
woman entering my bachelor establish
ment.
| must confess that in her case l didn't
regret the experiment. Mrs. O'Flaherty
never made love to me, therefore she
greatly rose in my estimation, and 1 came
10 look upon her as not at all belonging
TO the unfair sex.
Al that time l was living in a nice cosy,
quiet little house standing at the end of
trim and shady little garden in Stephens
Road, Fulham When l bought the lease
OF my little place l had no neighbor on
my right, where big, high wall divided
my premises from the park-iike grounds
belonging to a residence fully 300 yards
away. On my left there lived a very de-
cent old man who suffered from a mild
form OF insanity, which consisted in buy
ing books for pennies at bookstalls and
vowing to himself and to all the world
mat they were worth pounds. In all 9TH
er respects he was harmless. Many a COM
lorlable smoke and chat / had with him,
perched on the little low wall which di-
Nded our gardens.
me only really great sin against me
when that old gentleman committed was
snal ne died, and in dying made 1t posi-
o.e Ior grinning, smirking, sandy-hair-
gu mink TO come and live next door to
II was then that 1 came really to ap-
pFeeiate the value of Mrs. O'Flaherty as
woman. ! incurred no danger by speak
lug 10 MRS. OFlaherty / could even al
~" hef TO tie my craYat without fearing
, ,uat she might think l was making adj
Vances to her
, nut me person next door had no sooner
E ,~,eIeu her house than she founced out
~ me garden and peeped over my wall
una commenced to sing on purpose to at
N Il, ttaVI my attention-but will not continue
Wv catalogue of her offenses, for their va
''gJy was not charming.
lne result was that could no longer
w una smoke in my garden; that could
Il ~ 'onBer lounge on the little verandah at
any, ore Daek OF my house; that couldn't even
n Gpen me window Of my study without
rearing or seeing her
ma - al such moments as these that a
c a4N appreciates how obnoxious a woman
sr5 leaily be, especially If she is young
y yeu good-looking, and this one was very
gooa Is-twe twenty-five at the most-and very
. ola e . hear the old women calling me an
fo1,s 81 Jump, and the men quoting me an old
u.sa, put put yourself in my placei What
cirG i 10 DO? If l tried to appear nice and
bsr1 mat young hussy would most likely
hcr Witnesses concealed in some part Of
ur1, House- behind the window curtains
ier6 aoly-who would overhear or pre-
AN 1 20 oVerhear what said and torture
inv, 'Wist every word Of mine into mean
NE which never Intended, and bangl
sor,'lle knew it, / would have a writ
4 bre,.l, on me and be sued for damages for
~ OF heaven only knows what.
/ ana resented the young lady's conduct
ed 'goWIed and frowned would be cali
,ioo. brute and BEAST and various de-
4 bsft would be resorted to for making my
1 up,a,.uI,lon OF my house and garden as
rtnIortable as possible
I STR. truth or my argument was demon
pars.1u no more than week after the
be. sun next door had taken possession OF
Il g. otml-detached. I shall ALWAYS rernen,-