The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-11-28
WOMAN DOES MANY THINGS.
But There Is at Least One That Bafiea
Her.

Her.
Something may be conceded to WON.
en-. They prepare shooting lunches
with admirable care and a lavish ex
penditure of jam-an excellent thing
in woman and n much appreciated
by the wearied bripger-down of grouse.
They al pour cut tea at breakfast
and toward the end of a weeks visit
may be counted upon to remember that
you take or do moi take sugar. They
can leave cards on friends who have
left cards Or you; they can easily spend
an hour on dressing or adjoining them
selves, a feat of which few men in these
degenerate days are capable.
They can organize p~icnics and actual
" take pleasure in them when wasps
are not too numerous
They can. as young girls, manufac-
ture a secret out of nothing and then
talk 1t over with other girls in n
TO an accompaniment of mysterious
rigglings and to the exclusion of rude,
intrusive boys.
They can run Icing hatpins appar-
emily through the very middle of their
heads without doing themselves the
least harm, and they can coax 4 five
pound note or a bicycle or Il photo
graphic aamera out of an indulgent
parent in less time than it takes a son
to obtain ten shillings. All this and
many other things they can debut
they cannot steer I pleasure boat on the
Thames.
Observe her as she gets into the boat.
Her attendant swains are in their places
beer wedged into the bows. The steerer
installs herself and thus addresses her
crew as they push off:
"Now, on which side ought I to sit?
I think I could see better on the right
side. Therei Will that do? Oh, but
If I sit in the middle 1 can't see any
thing!
fought I to pull both strings very
hard like? Why, they won't move at
NIL. But if I pull the left string we go
TO the left and I'm sure that's wrong,
because I've always heard that you
ought to pull the other string.
well, never mind; we're getting
along very nicely and catching up with
the other boat. Oh, oh, there's a boat
coming the other way-which side
ought we TO go? They're rowing right
into us. Oh, do stop!
There! l knew the silly man would
u into US. He needn't have looked 50
angry about getting a ridiculous little
bit of wood broken off his oar.
Why didn't he look around and
watch where he was going? l do love
this rocking about. don't you, Mr.. Har-
Do try and keep close to the
steam launch.
What? 1t makes rowing so uncom-
Portable? Well, you men are funny. !
think it was my fault we ran into
the bank, for l was pulling the left string
as hard as | could. That was the reason,
was it? Of curse. 1 forgot.
Now, let me see. What ought you
TO do when you come to Il rock? know
you do something with boathooks or
whistles. Alice. Fan you whistle? No?
| dare say it doesn't matter. The man
will have to open all the same.
"Why did that woman glare at me
20? She didn't think it makes her look
because it doesn't.
"Oh, do take care! Please do Why
is all that water pouring into the lock?
Therei l knew we should get crushed.
They oughtn't to be in such a hurry.
Besides. It would he very much simpler
to open both sets of gates at each end
together and then we could slip through
all this fuss and bother.
mo. thank you, Mr.. Harrison; I'm
not n bit tired. I could go on steering
vi day in this delightful weather. Now,
Why did we stick to the bank that timeP
I've dropped the string. Well,
suppose n can't always do things
oerfectly.",London Punch.