The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1896-12-26
NO. g..
AthwRrt these melancholy days
It casts a CLEAN Of cheer
tn find voV'vo half R6u NR caat

To ind you've half a ton Of Goa!
Left over from last year.
Chicago Tribune.
Clara-Do you cali Bertha a beauty?
Maudle-To her face, yes.-Bostou
Transcript.
why don't you marry that girll She
Is a real pearl" "Ah, yes; but don't
like the mother Of pearI."-Scottish
Nights.
stikker--l dreamed last night that
you gave me ten dollars. Stryker--
Good! that makes US square. owed
you a tenner, you know.-Boston
Transcript.
"DOn'tw she exclaimed, fearfully;
you need 1t far worse than l." Regl.
maid DrOoley Van Lukewarm had
threatened to give her piece Of his
mind.-ChicagO News
The poets lot would happier be
1.-The could sometimes turn 'is
Attention from the thoughts that burn
To firing up the furnace.
Washington Star.
Lord Notasent (moodily)-I dreamt
last night, James, that had plenty Of
money, The Valet (eagefly)-~An' 90
was tn Apply H'american girl, me ludI
Puck.
Shell see they have now a "woman's
Dictionary" Do you suppose that dif.
fers from any other7 He-Probably
has more words In lt.--YOnkers States
man.
THAT hair restorer bought OF you
found very eflcacious," remarked Cav.
ker to his barber. "SoT replied the
knight Of the razor. II must try It
myself."-Judge.
"YOu look go pleased; where have you
beenT 1--WE been visiting dentists
offices, and had lovely time-got a lot
Of new ideas for our college yell."-Chi-
cagO Tribune.
Hell would be willing TO die a hum
dred deaths for your sake. She-So
would anybody else. The trouble Il
that one death Is all that we can get
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Dah's chance foh some hurrah,
Fob each pussOn libbin';
Eff yoh can'edate got lef',
Holler fob Tanksgibbin'.
Washington Star.
Smith, wish / had studied boxing
when was a boy. You see, need IL
so much in my profession. Jones (sur.
prised)-What! as a lawyer? Smith
No. AS father.-Harper's Bazaar.
why do you begT' asked the kind.
hearted woman. II can't help It,
ma'am," said the beggar my wife's
a wilder, with Eve children, and they
looks to me for support. -HarperS
Bazaar.
Somebody has invented table to "a.
cilItate writing on railroad trains.
Things are getting 80 that a travelling
man won't have any excuse left for not
writing letters to his wife.-ChicagO
Record.
The Approximately don't you go
to work. The Tramp-I'm trying 70
work, sir. The ApprOached-At what2
The Tramp-At present, sir, I'm trying
to work yOu.-Philadelphia North
American.
Things never evenly befall,
'Mongst men, though we are brotherR
Thanksgiving was designed for all.
But some have more than others
Washington Star.
$50 you feel III, my little lad?'' asked
the kind minister. lyon should 60 and
tell your mother. She win give you
sage advice" That's Jest It," said the
boy. I'm dOggOne sick O. sage."-New
York Press.
The Clergyman had no idea DrOfan.
ity was so prevalent till I.began to ride
a wheel. His Wife-DO you hear much
of 1t on the rOad7 The Clergyman
Why, nearly everyone run, Into swears
frightfully Puck.
Harry, before we were married. you
begged me to go hand in hand with yOu
down LIES pathway" $50 did"
And now you get mad when ask you
where you go without me five nights In
the week."-ChicagO Record.
1.-The age Of chivalry is entirely past"
she said. II don't know about that"
the young man answered. Men can't
engage in duels to settle AFFAIRS Of the
heart" mo, but they can join rival
football teams."-Washington Star.
All, radiant rose, with your grace so do.
muTe,
Your beauty the eye and the spirit con.
tents; 49,.
But there still turks the thorn. None
would guess, am sure,
That you cost q dollar and twenty-five
cents.
Washington Star,
Mrs. Billus-Johnny, II you don't 60
to bed right now won't wake you up
tomorrow morning at all. Mr.. .Billus
Cooking at her over his glasses) What
good do you think that'll do, Marial
Mrs. Billus-1t win bring him. He has
made arrangements to go fishing to-
morrow morning. Ut dld.)-ChiGaRe
Tribune, .,