The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-05-14
MEMS COLUMN.
A CLUB DINNER.
The Mems Mutual Admiration Society
Meeting, by A Mouse In the Corner.

Wceuuks ~ n mO0SS u Sue SOGueIs
There was another meeting Of the
Mems Mutual Admiration society In our
rooms last night. They call themselves
a club and the rooms club parlors: but
we mice. who come Of q long and aris-
tocratic lineage and had earliest possess
sion Of the building. smile at their van
ity.
Their meeting was Of the usual kind
one for eating and drinking. for talk
ing and making noise enough to waken
the dead. While waiting for them to
vacate the place before sunrise We
thought we would listen awhile to learn
whether they had gained any wisdom
from their long association with us.
Here are a few specimen fragments:
'Never, never has 1t been our good for
tune before to hear so magnificent an
exposition of constitutional law" said
the one I will call "the philosopher" in
imitation of his fellow members. Then
they all hurraed till the glasses ratified
on the tables, while the talker bowed
to 'the statesman" The statesman
had graduated" SO We had once heard
this same philosopher declare, from a
shanty in the first place and a whisky
saloon in the second"-but the states
man wasn't present when that remark
was made. The statesman beamed
while the hurrahs went round. Then
1.-THE poet" got up and read some verses
about the pure souled leader of a ma
tion's cause. great intellect that framed
our noble laws" and 1.-The orator" got
up and declared the poet to be great
er than somebody named Bacon was at
the time he was writing all of Shake
speare's and Marlowe's and Ben JON
sons and Beaumont's and Ford and
Massinger's works, and the poem one
Milton found later and printed as his
own" The poet modestly deprecated"
this as excessive praise" but hoped to
become worthy of it all in due time
and the orator leaned back behind him
and winked-that's what we long ago
learned these curious being, called men,
name that singular twisting up of one
corner of the face-winked at the law
yer" and across at the statesman: and
they both clapped their hands and
roared "hurrah!" and then they winked
back at the orator. Curious creatures
indeed these two-legged men are! All
this was only a beginning Of what We
listened to from these and a dozen
more: and a tired-out set Of mice you
may we'll believe We were before they
went Off singing to at least twenty-five
different tunes, I'VE Won't Go Home
and all this time had we been kept wait
ing for our supper. Bah!
-:-:-
"If might be permitted to contribute
to the Woman's Paper, said one we'll
known citizen the other day, II should
ask for only one line. In that I should
put only the two words. Poor Women!"
Profound meditation has failed to re-
veal just what especial misdeed or
shortcoming of his own sex he had in
mind that led him so to bestow pity
upon the wives and mothers, daughters
and sisters of men. Whether he was
feeling soasm of remorse on behalf
Of his sex for general or special mis-
behavior to womankind, or whether
he was speaking from some misappre-
hension Of woman's good times in the
world must forever remain q conun-
drum. If 1t was remorse. we forgive
him! If 1t was Misrepresentation, we
desire gently to reassure his perturbed
mind. The women of this generation
are not pining for pity. Let him be ut
peace.