New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-07-11
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.

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| Not dark horses but dark mules. is the way h
which 1.-THE Cleveland Leader referred the other
day to the unknown possibilities in the Chicago
Convention.
At the Picnic.-"What was that black bottle I saw
you hand to Mr.. Beasley behind the tree?'
letting him M sample my new cholera mixture
Has Mr. Beasley got the cholera ?"
cleveland Leader.
story is told Of Scranton. Penn. young man
who called on a young lady evening. When he
arrived there not cloud in the sky. 30 he
red no umbrella and wore neither galoches nor
macintosh. At 10 o'clock. when he arose to 30. Il
was raining cats and dogs. my. my, myr' said
the nice young lady, III you out in all this storm
you will catch your death a. cold" I'm afraid I
might" was the trembling answer. well. I'll tell
you what-stay all night; you can have Toms ROOM
Excuse me for a minute and III just run up ana
see II it's in order" The young lady few gracefully
upstairs to that Toms room was in order. In
five minutes she came down to announce that Tons
room was in order. but no Charles was In ssnt
But in a very few moments he appeared very Dip
ping and out Of breath from running bundle b
newspaper under his arm. why. Charles, wnGs
have you been?" his greeting Been home
after my nightshirt." was his reply.
Typical Americans.-The Idler-Whose picture y
The Photographer-It Is a composite. call u
The Typical American Girl"
1T Is awfuiiy pretty. wonder IL Aho" any "
'ill give YOU their names. and you can see They
Schwartz Rebecca Einsten and Christine Oleson"
-(Indanapoiis Journal.
1t sometimes happens that slate-roofers In Apers
deem Scotland, desire to knock off work for whis
to visit a neghborlng saloon. Owing TO the cessa-
ton Of their tapping with their malets however,
their absence would soon be noted. So. TO provide
| ~ha haff nf
iounger TO go on the roof while they are away ara
keep I'D constant tapping with mallet. When no
taps for only or two the thing Is cniids pay
but when he has TO represent wnoe troop u "
then that he earns his money in the sweat OF NJ
face Then must he bound from spot to SPOT re-
duplicate tripcate. sextuphcate his single p1soh'
atty and swell and hasten his blows until he pro-
duces perfect Illusion for the ear. One OF the local
papers say IL is a funny sight 10 see him from an
upper window.
The Jeer Of a Observation-Disclosures Backdate "
awfully proud OF being eligible 10 membership IN ans
F.SraNshe has a right to be proud Just think
how narrowly she escapes being old enough 70 u =
sister instead of a daughter-(Ctncinnau Enquirer
The dromedary parcel post service in the German
territories Of Southwestern Africa has given Dexter
results than were expected The demonstrates Az
adanted n the climate are not affected by the Prev
a,eut cattle diseases are not made foosore IN stony
regions and do not suffer extreme Thirst when DE-
prved Of water for week.
YIs. sOT GOES
Han't got fault TO find with Josh.
He's likely. stiddy. smart
An yit almost hate him. cos
He's bu'stin Of my heart.
Yis. Josh r is han M,Idr f SsaS our sa'
Tn sunshine that's lit up our homo
Nigh onto eighteen year
faint longer n yisterd'y. so I seemA
An she a-crowin, on my back, ;.
Full MI
An mother 'courages tn match
know that womans ways
Tn tender critter can't forget
WAL spose troo love must new fuii sw'nA
Ma SEE. "'ris natur best .,.
'""''eN >' -(Boston Transcript
There are nearly $1,000 bsrmaids In Ensians
More than 1000 In London are daughters OF gentle
men: 400 have fathers brothers or uncles IN 'ne
church: 200 are daughters Of army officers ."
daughters Of physicians and surgeons 100 daugn'e's
OF navy officers.
what are you doing here?' said the woman .
the tramp. who had got over the wah juss IN time
ssssRs ne he Su, sa3 with dignity intend to
request something to eat p%t S s a feed that dog
-(Tit-Bts.
Mr. L.abouchere, Of Truth" Gays that he ~
Gently received the two following advertisements w
insertion: =,
Wanted. by a dowager. too aged to ride eySs'
(ciga.y- FOUR an experienced lady cyclist secus-
toned 10 the very best society. Must be abe !"
ride twenty miles an hour 80 as to keep IN ssa'
younges, daughter who Is agile and in1ud'eiou~
Apply to A. Il. c.. 81 Begrave Square" @u''
highly connected Is prepared to chaperon Ton
cycle) the ambitious daughter OF millionaire
an expert In all PAGES (cycling). Can be 'rus'sa
keep alongside OF the swftest detrimental a"e
lag dscreetly In the rear of an eligible elder 50"
Finsnc.er-Ycu literary men haven't the nt,s INN.
about business. Here YOU have about IVY ,", sav
scripts piled up In this dark closet. ara ~"
they oil paid for.
Editor Great Magazine-Years ago. . =. .,..r oc-
FYnancier--Just think OF Il. Hasn't eVvrtareos
CURED to you sir. that you are losing .ne Sun.
on all the money you paid out for those use'e"
dies? ...,... have
Editor Great Msgazine--Euh! You nnan nsv one OF
not the fret idea about literature. Eve. ,sor and
these MANUSCRIPTS Is from different au.m s NE.
the whole 10000 OF them VIII e. ga arScl" are pesssA
-lNew-York Weekly