davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

"wHAT FOOLS THESE MoRTALs BE"
ceetiings are necessary in city society.
They can hope that society viii improve
as the Gospel takes possession of the
hearts and souls of society women, but
they will not be able to understand why
it is necessary for these people tn
demonstrate their antiquity CT ances-
try, nor their kinship with men and
women who did something for the
world.
OF course, every body is glad that John
Randolph. of Roanoke, was such an
orator and statesman; but nobody can
understand why the entire Randolph
family of to-day should strut and plume
itself on the work of the said John Ran
dolph, of Roanoke.
Ihad an ancestor on the staff CT George
Washington; but that does not make
my newspaper writing valuable. The
cid man was good soldier. He fought
for his country. He served the repuo-
lie. He drew up his feet and was gath
cred unto his fathers. He did his du "
while on earth, and that is all there is
of it. 1 do not see why L should join
an aristocratic society of Sons of the
American Revolution on account of
what ut good man did. There is no
bread nd butter in it for me; and the
VIII pass CuIItha
at the butchers, the BAKERS or any
other business place where supplies are
to be had for the table.
While Alfred Tennyson was in the
yigor of manhood, he wrote manly
things, but when he approached his
dotage he became effeminate and lapsr.l
into a lordship. Tt was he who wrote:
a. From yon blue heavens above us bent
The gardener, Adam, and his wife,
Smile at the claims of long descent"
Adam and Eve were hot sent forth
from the womb of the universe to found
a race of aristocrats. They who look
back to an ancestry of 100, 200 or 300
years, might well trace their lineage
| back to the families of the old world,
| end then keep on tracing it back to tine
gardener, Adam, whence all of us came
When these proud Sons of the American
Revolution get back to Adam, they viii
find that they are descended from Il
coward, who tried to hide his faults by
laying them upon a woman. No wonder
Adam should be pictured smiling at
the claims of long descent He must
| see from his present abode that better
| men than he have come upon the scene
| of action and passed away, for the
world is growing better all the time.
We have in Washington a society of
Colonial Danes. These ladies know
| nothing of the kitchen piano. common
J 'ly called a washboard. They never
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

EIGHTEENTH YEAR.

lake his confession of the orthodox
iaith. This having been done, the met
.'opolitan Will announce the 40 or
more titles of the car. After fitting
pause the latter will demand the i'm
perial mantle, and after receiving this
precious garment, composed of cloth
of gold and ermine, will place it over
his shoulders and receive benedic-
ton. He will next demand the i'm
perial crown, and it will be handed to
him by the metropolitan. Seizing il
ir both hands, the czar will place this
costly and magnificent badge of power
on his head. This done, he will call for
the scepter and the globe, one of which
he will take in his right hand, the other
in his left, and will then take seat on
the throne. The metropolitan will pro-
nounce blessing, and at the same mo-
ment every bell in the city will be runy
and royal salute of 1o1 guns will be
fired from the fortress. The telegraph
will carry the news of the cars corona
ton to every nook and corner of the
world, and wherever Russians have a
church the bells will peal forth, and III
every garrison town of the empire can
ncns will announce the tidings to the
people.
When silence is restored the czar
will rise from the throne and the off,
GERS of his court will relieve him of
scepter and globe. He will then be ap
preached by the czarina. who will wear
the richest gown ever fashioned, made
of silver cloth studded with crown
Jewels, valued at 100000. She will
kneel, and the czar, in remem brance of
Scriptural in junction, will remove the
crown from his brow and for a moment
let it rest upon the head of his spouse.
nd ha ri Of + he
| coronation ceremony. With the last
words of the mass the imperial pair
will leave the cathedral and repair to
the Church of ST. Michael, where they
will adore the sacred images prior to
passing through the lines of the guard
of honor to the red staircase"
The coronation will end in a grand
| banquet to which none but princes and
| princesses of royal blood and reprs-
sentatives of foreign nations will be adj
mitted. The czar and cZarina, however,
will not sit with their guests, but upon
| thrones before which stands a table,
| and upon this the food for the imperial
| pair will be placed.
Almost every nation in the world will
| be represented at the coronation. The
great powers of Europe have already
| completed arrangements to honor the
| occasion in way that shall reflect
credit on their good taste and liberali-
| ty. Great Britain, always willing 10
make fine displays when national dig
nifty is at stake, has authorized its am
| bassador to spare no expense. Ger
| many, anxious to win the friendship ot
] Russia, will surprise the Russians, used
| though they be to lavish expenditure.
| France. Russia's fast friend, will
outdo all the other powers, however
Its representatives have arranged a
state banquet for the czar and czarina
| whose cost will amount to 900. The
| best chefs of Paris will be sent to Mos
COW. flowers by the train.oad will be
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
THE ANCESTRAL CRAZE.
It Has a Strong Hold on Society
in the National Capital
A Folly That Should BE Checked by
Plain and Vigorous Public Opinion
This Country Has No Use for
"Hereditary Aristocrats-"
Especial Washington letter.

Especial Washington letter.
With satire sublime the poet, Sake, re
ferred with laughter, jeers and sneers
at the pretensions of peculiar class OF
people, saying that the rot:enest thing
on the whole earth is American aris-
tocracy.
SAKE was satirist, a wit, a rhymer.
philosopher and a keen observer of af-
fairs. He never wrote line for the
public without due consideration, and
his works will stand forever monu-
ment to the memory of man; a most
manly man. There virility.
strength. power, pathos and tenderness
in every thought that was given by
him to the people who loved him in life
and who venerate him because of his
works.
But John G. SAKE never dreamed that
American aristocracy and aristocrats
could leap all bounds and barriers of
common sense as they are hopping over
them now. He could not foresee the
Daughters of the American Revolution.
He could not anticipate the Colonial
DANES. He could not .elepathical!y
and clarivoyantly prognosticate the De-
scendants of the Mayf1ower. Oh! it
SAKE could only have known that these
great American faddists would ever
spring into existence, what Sridlron-
ing he would have given them. How he
would have basted them. How he would
| have roasted them. But, fortunate y
| for the jumpingjacks of modern society,
SAKE has dropped his pen forever, aud
men of less pretentious literary acquire
| ments must pay some attention to them
| IN a tender, LOVING and Christian spirit.
| That is one of my missions, and the
American aristocracy of the national
Of
time and tuneful mention in these col
! umns. The plai:: people of this couIi-
| try can stand it to read of thousands of
dollars expended for flowers and wines
| at dinner parties in the larger cities
They can blindly believe that such pro
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
THE CZAR'S CORONATION.
It Will Be the Grandest Spectacle
of the Century.
Foreign Nations Are to Make q Most Law
ish DispIay-Brief Description of the
Ceremonies Attending the Crown
ing of the Autocrat.
Especial correspondence /

On May &c Nicholas L. will be crowned
~tthe orthodox, most pious, most auto
cratic and mighty sovereign, the car
of all the Russias." The ceremonies at
tending this sacrament" as the Rus
slams call it, will be grand beyond de-
cription-beyond the imagination of
men and women who have never wit
nessed one of those gorgeous festivals
for which Russia is famous. Although
Peter the Great removed the capital of
the empire to ST. Petersburg in 1903,
the coronation ceremony will take
place at Moscow, the ancient capital
and holy city of the NGuscovites, and the
seat of the metropolitan of the Russian
Greek church.
All the religious and court functions
connected with the coronation will take
place within the walls of the Kremlin.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
A Reminder.

Down the post Office steps Rev. DR..
Fyfthly carefully picked his way, and
then mis- feet suddenly shot out, and he
went down right in the midst of q
group of stockholders.
80, good morning. doctor" laughed
the stock recognizing the min
lister, '.you remind us of the wicked
man, whose foot slippeth."
Nay" retorted the good minister,
but rather do seem like the man who
went down TO Jericho"
"How is that? ?" chorused the brokers.
because he fell among thieves"
murmnred the doctor as he got up and
moved decorously away.-N. Y. Record
er.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
Johnnie and the Apostles.

Johnnie Chaffie was in Dallas candy
store with his mother. She bought
some little figures made of chocolate.
Here, Johnnie" she said, ''are the
three graces for you"
Mother, dear, I'd rather have the
1s apostles. There are more of them" !"
Texas Sitter.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
A Safe Conclusion.

Mrs. ngicuss-What does the doc
tor say is the matter with my husband?
Nurse-He says he has bicycled 50
much that something about the size of a
mustard seed has logged down into his
vermiform appendix.
Mrs. Stingicuss (reyengefully) 1t
must be his hearty. Y. World.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
Hans Was Satisfied.

Hans had climbed up into the cherry
tree to gather cherries. Meantime q
storm came on, and the father called
out to the lad:
'Come down, Hans, it is beginning to
thunder"
There's no need, father" shouted
the boy. Il can hear it whsre / am
y. \. Recorder.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

He had Travelled through Sahara. braved
the dangers of the Nile;
Defeated enraged Mussulmans- and dtned
on crocodile:
knew everything OF politics, religion and
the law:
Could box and fence. and row q race, and
please his mother-in-law.
In short, had all the accomplishments or
men both great and wise:
But he couldn't a business for he
wouldn't advertise.
London Tit-Bits.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
Quite Natural.

Hoax-There was a fellow in court to-
day charged with stealing a horse and
leaving his bicycle in place of it.
Joax-What did they do? Convict
him?
Hoax-No; the jury were all cyclers
and they recommended that the pris-
oner be sent to an insane asylum.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
The Face of Bontface.

Inn Keeper (whose bill of fare is very
raeagre) so you two gents are
titled aristocrats from across the pond.
are you? You didn't register SO, and
here I've been entertaining angels una
wares!
The Two entS-Yes-er-that is
the angels are unaware of it.-Bay City
Chat.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
Rejected.

She had determined to avail herself of
leap years privileges. SO she wrote this
message on a postal card and mailed it
to the man of her choice:
''Knot?''
But what was her modification when
the return mail brought this compre-
hensive reply:
"Nit."-Harper's Bazaar.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
NUMBER IL.
More InformatioD Wanted.

Lawyer (hotlyD-Do you mean to
say, sir, that you do not consider Mr..
De Lyre man of his word?
WitnesS-I do.
"You do, eh? Do you mean to insin-
uate that he ever lies? ?''
That's about it.
"Now, sir, attention. Do you mean
to say that you would not believe him
under oath?"
NO, have not said that
"Oh, ho! I thought I'd catch you.
Then you don't say you weald not be-
ieve him under oath? ?"
NO. 1 haven't heard him do any
talking under oath yet."-N. Y. Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
A Poser.
*" said the answers

81 guess I'm stuck" said the answers
to-correspondents man.
What is it?'' asked the rest of the
force, in deep sympathy.
"Girl writes to know which of her
fiances should have the preference in
going with her to church-the first one
or the second d'-Cincinnat ENQUIRER
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

The room was dark: their favorite chair
was in its wonted place
He stole up quietly and dropped kiss
some ones face;
A light 1t was her pa! And now he muses.
like to this
In striving thus to kiss miss. surely
kissed anisS.''
-Richmond Dispatch
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

dispatched from the Riviera, and the
choicest wines have been selected for
the feast. Ii Hung Chang, who will
represent China at the coronation, Is
bringing with him rare and costly pres
ents for the imperial pair; and to ac-
centuatc the close relations existing be-
tween China and Russia the czar may be
persuaded TO attend the state banques
to be given by the celestial statesman.
1t is estimated that fully a million
strangers Will visit Moscow during the
coronation exercises. That would
mean a great deal at any time, but as on
this occasion none but the wealthy can
afford to visit the city the harvest to be
reapcd by Moscow's tradesmen and
householders will be enormous. But
the cost-ten dollars day is said to be
the minimum-will not be too high
when the grand festivities are taken
into consideration The imperial treas
ury alone will disburse &c. 900, 900 rubles
for the entertainment and edification of
the throng. Four hundred thousand
electric lamps will be used for the il
Elimination of the Kremlin alone, and
1000 for the illumination of the single
tower of Ivan Beliki. Such barbaric
spleDdor battles description, but once
seen can never be forgotten.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

The tympanum of whales ear lies
at the end of long, bony tube The
hearing of this animal is pretern atuyal
ly acute.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
A Man ofLetterH

He voted with the G. o. p,
He bought his groceries c. o. D..
He died a member of the I. o. G. T..
Was buried by the K. of p.
And went to the better land. d. ".
indianapolis Journal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
Afraid of Himself.

Thought you were going to run for
alderman, Jaxon?"
i've been thinking it over. and ha vc
come to the conclusion that I haven't
the gall to be successful alderman.
guess I'll keep on peddling sewing ma
chimes" s."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
There Are Others.
Inheriting my patrimony,
! hurried into matrimony:
And now I'm paying alimOny
In order to have harmony.
TO Date.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

"Yes, miss; it's bin a very ard win
ter. 1 dunno what poor man would
ave done for is Hvin' if a steamer or
two 'adn't run on to the sands by the
blessin' of ovidence.'-Sketch.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
A Domestic View.

Mamma, why do they call it the
weather bureau?'
Because the top drawer is general
.y in such a frightful mess, suppose"
Chicago Record.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16
No Flat for Her.

In u dreamy rapture he kissed her
golden tresses.
The future" he exclaimed. joyously,
with its castles in the air!"
She turned with sudden earnestness
Reginald" she said, decisively,
don't deceive yourself tell you, once
for all, 1 shan't live above the second
story under any circumstances."-
L. journal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-16

.sHow married life does change one"
"From what have observed should
say it changes two."-Bozton Courier.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-03-27
FOR A SICK BENEFIT FUND.

highly successful fair and entertainment 70 ara
the sick benefit fund OF the Mount Sinai Aiumhae
was held yesterday in Hodgmans Assembly Rooms
FIfth-ave. and Forty -hfth-st. The booths were
tastefuly decorated. and the stands were loaded
down with unique and valuable articles. Besides
the many beautiful things offered for sale. shares
were sold emitting the holders OF the lucky numbers
20 a valuable piano. n womans gold dagger-pin or
a large doll dressed as a trained nurse There was s
also n xrab-bag which afforded large amount OF
amusement Miss Ormsbee and Mies Feldman pre-
sided AZ the candy booth, Miss Glasgow at me
iemonadc booth Miss Swltzer the flower booth.
Miss schm!eder and Mirs Morrison the fancy booth.
Miss Clark the refreshm snt booth and MISS ar
ends had charge Of the grabbing. All the mem
beers OF the alumnae were present dressed IN the
neat costume OF tho Mount Sinai Hospital nurses.
A concert was given In the afternoon by Professor
William Fenrichs band. aided by Messrs Douth-
waite Speck Fuller and Guthridge.. The evening
entertainment consisted OF vocal and instrumental
music dancing and recltatons by Miss D. Selig-
man Miss Nancy Ashton. iiss Godmark. Mrs: 81.
Coar Mrs. Charles DE lackner. Miss LYMAN, Mss
Silner. II. -. Rove. c. De Lackner. q. ii. Engel-
hart and {. Dlcnstback.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-03-27
TROUBLES or BUSINESS MEN.

st. Louis. March 2s.-Puilis Brothers Foundry
Company established here In 1899, made as
signment. The urgent liabilities are $1,000 and
assets 10000 Importunats creditors forced tho
company this temporary measure. The active
business OF the company Is not affected.
Easton. Penn. March Gspeciap-The Court
today on application OF Francis Gray. OF Boston,
and J. r. Lea OF Philadelphia. named Willard
SAWYER and John Bacon as appraisers Of the prop
crty of the Glendon Iron Company OF which the
petitioners are assignees. Mr.. Sawyer IL the super
nendent who took charge three weeks ago. and
Mr. Bacon WAS for many years treasurer OF the
company The company has expended close To
million dollars on the plant watch Is on the Iehlgh
Rond n mile above this city. The liabilities are
about $4,000 The company In the seventies stood
at the D,p notch of pig-lron producers and as
slated materially In giving 10 the iehigh Valley its
name for iron output There are now only two com
panlos In existence which were among those which
conf rbuied TO this fame that have not either as
signed or gone into the hands OF receivers. These
TWO are the Thomas Iron Company and the Beth
lehem Iron Company, both among tho strongest
concerns In the valley.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-03-27
NIGHT SESSION OF THE ASSEMBLY.

NIGHT SESSION OF THE ASSEMBLY.
i. Nr,MBER OF IMPORTANT BILLS ACTED ON
NEW MEASURES.
Albany. March 3.-As soon as the Assembly -.
convened at $50 o'clock TINS evening ''e
bills were passed. 49,, u..,s
senator Brushs repeating the act which ai,TTs
person to take possession OF land Tor m'h'"s
r Sena'G BARK Guy IN the Ward Of New
Senator wieman's. authorizing the payment os
Tho state OF a balance due for the erec..om "a IN
pedestal for the General warren "'o"'"'"'
Senator Browns amending generally tho STATE
Game law. . .,ors,d.r
Mr. Hobbie. Of Washington. moved to RECONSIDER
~. yo,. bv which his bill. authorizing SUPERVISORS
, IA .mpoy convicts In county jaiis on roaus. was
lost The bill vas prepared by the ota'e 'i'o"
Con,misslon The vote on the bill was recohs'ueieo'
Afr Hobbe then offered an amendment "''c" -
intended to permit the employment OF s,j1iSons Of
only upon roads. but upon all penal aced non
H. COUNTY The bill was then ordered piaceu upo'
the order OF third reading. ,s. p.rh.r Ia ~
general hroughout the State up on second so
reading Mr. Tranor offered sups',u'e o ~ Clock
ing BARRIERS n 10 aSf' %r stanched moved to lay
both bills on the table. On rising vote ''i'S WAS
Mr. sangers BILL requiring reasurers OF campaign ysa
committees to file tented expense on motion of
81 Green of New-York. after being oruereu "
third reading 1t will retain its place o" 'i'e Gar
endar. go, .,,.x ,or tho Issuance OF
e. cto 600 worth of bonds for new schooi puiiis' III
sSS,Vw'york civ was amended so as to provide toI
nftv-vear bonds. It was then advancea 10 V1,r
rna;din0 Mr. Hoftmans bill allowing New or N
roiicnmen and fremen two hours on Election Day III
which to vote was also advanced
The following bills were introduced; .
Nv Mr. notwithstanding that villages snall
rereve their share OF the moneys collected under the
Raines Liquor Tax law; also providng ,na' ~ ny a
saloons shall be within 100 feet. instead oi nun
mile OF public institutions. T., .h
Twenty-third Ward Of New-York city; TO ne pounned
bv Poncr-st JacksDn-ave, One-hundred -and-si
sixth-st. and Roston-ave. .,ooooo 49,. .o,,,,
By Mr. Notwithstanding to 10000 the amount
~ ionls 10 be issued by tho New-York city CON-
trollcr for the Fire Department . -, 1,,.
nv Mr. French-Authorlzng the New orh 'lly
Firc Commissioners fix the salaries OF the ui:-
formed force az follows. TO take effect on January
/ next: Chief 81, 600; deputy chiefs. SJo chieels OF
bat,aiions $500; captains and foremen 'z'0"' as
ss,ant foremen and captains. f2.lO . ,
nv Y Stcwart-Authorizing the Commissioner
OF Public Works in New-York and the Mayor and
Common Council Of Mount Vernon 10 contract ioi
q water supply for Mount Vernon
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-03-27
Plttsburg. Penn. March 81. 1896.
A woRKINGMAN's PLEA FOR MKINLEY.

A WORKINGMANS PLEA FOR MKINLEY.
To the Editor OF The Tribune.
Sir: write TO congratulate you your course on
the Presidential boom problem. Every Republican
in Louisville gives great praise belong to the
Labor Union party and have fifty votes against
the rich man. and II you do not give the deina nd
want. the Democrats will have the field The
laboring men have got enough Of the Democratic
free trade as they have had empty stomachs for
the last three years. and the Democrats know that
II Mckinley Is nominated the laboring men OF the
Democratic party will vote for him. because ne Is
the only man that bring good times TO them
/ have travelled great deal in the last two years
and have all along said that II Mckinley was
living he would be President because he repre-
sents protection. Let Europe take care OF ITSELF
and We will take OF America. said two weeks
before the last election that Harrison would pe peat
en- because the people wanted change put INNS
time II Will be different AZ they nave got .housn
OF the change They want protection, ana tney
know that Mckinley will give II TO them Ine larfn-
oring for change. Governor Morton is 1000
man but he Is far advanced In age 10 De fresi,
dent, as the generation wants an active man l
hone that all the worklngmen and manufacturers
OF New York will put their shoulders TO the wheeI
ard yet Mckinney as the Democrats cannot raise
enough money 10 defeat him. Mckinley does not
change Ike the moon: he does not DO IKE some or
the others: he Is the all the time mat Is the
reason that the wOrkingmen are Tor nm lney
Lrow they can rely on what he saws am a Re-
worked hard FOR Its principles. and II We do not get
Mckinley this time. SLY ~ CSScrt,I = ~
'H louisville Ky. March %. 1896
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-03-27
- -----
PRIZE SPEAKING AT YALE.

Ncv-H Haven. Conn, March G.-Tho annual Ten
Eyck prize speaking at Yale. the Junior exhibition
as IT is generally termed. took place to-day In
Battel Chapel.
The faculty announced that the winner was Ma
than A. Smyth Mr.. Smyth Is OF the Rev
Or. Newman smyth the well-known theolog.an.
Mr. Smyth In his address attacked strongly sopho-
more secret societies. declaring that many OF the
low deals OF college politics were the results Of
intrfgues by the sophomore society men.