Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-10-31
ODDS AND ENDS.

De song birds. dey hab lef de lam:
We dOan' know whah dey's at;
But de eagle is a screamin an
De turkeys gittin' fat.
Washington Evening Star.
In a Sydney newspaper, recently,
there was seen this advertisement:
Wanted man able to teach French
and the piano, and to look after a
bull
A rented fiat is none too wide.
And yet it is expected
They'll make two fats of everyone
If Bryan is elected
Chicago Tribune.
In ordinary years that three-legged
calf at Manchester might have some
show as curiosity, but when a polit-
ical aggregation with one head, three
sets of bowels and two tails, is storm
ing the country. three-legged calf
has no show.-Breeze.
After careful study of the situa-
ton, Carpenter of the Council Grove
Republican, concludes that between
Mr.. Sewall's barrel, which has not
been opened. and Mr.. Watson's mouth,
which has, the Kansas Pops are hay
ing hard time of it.
Sol Miller says that among the
prominent men who have gone over
to Bryan in Kansas are A. J. Mowry,
who issued school bonds in an unin-
habited district, and scouts the idea
that the United States cannot make
money without consulting the rest of
the world.
''What shall we do to be saved p"
exclaimed the preacher, bringing his
fist down upon the pulpit with great
force.
''Vote for Mckinley" said little
Willie Windle, and the applause lasted
for five minutes. Leader
protest has been filed by the pa
rents of Cambridge, Mass, against
the habit which prevails among the
Harvard athletes of appearing on the
streets without stockings, and walk
ing in their bare legs with young
women. OF course such a practice
would be considered exceedingly rank
anywhere outside of Cambridge or
Boston, and even there it is more or
less raw.
The many and absurd reasons for
divorce that are offered in court have
frequently been the subject of amuse-
ment to outsiders, but the most ridic-
ulous that has yet been reported was
introduced by a Maine man recently.
Under the head of cruel and abusive
treatment he testified that he was on
the verge of nervous prostration on
account of loss of sleep caused by his
wife ''persisting in eating dry crackers
in bed.''
New Orleans has curious habit of
marking the end of the straw hat sea-
son with elaborate and impressive
This year a mysterious
parsonage, known as General Anthony
fixed October IL as the date
after which summer headgear was il
legal, improper and cOntraband of
war, and on that day in many parts of
the city huge piles of straw hats were
burned in the streets, after more or
tionS over them.
This is the way the Newton Kansan
talks about man who didn't come
around to do the handsome thing by
the editor: ga Newton man is so
stingy that he kept the fact that he |
was married still for three months. so |
that he would not have to pass around |
cigars. At least |
that is the kind he smokes, and his
friends would have expected nothing |
better, even on such an important oc-
,asion as his marriage
led. Little made a speech at Con-
,ordia this week." says the Abilene
Reflector, sin which he fired off his
Usual pedantic list of names-Tally-
and. Joan dare, Cleopatra, Antony,
Charles Martel, Cicero and the rest.
The Pops listened in open-mouthed
While passing out one
eformer said to another:
That was fine speech, wasn't
t? But who is them fellers lie was
akin about that John Dark and
Tallerun and the others. They must
i've down toward Topeky, 1 never
leard of 'em about here
1.-THE one addressed, replied: L don't
now any of 'em, but Antony. and he
$ publishing goldbug paper at Leav-
nworth.'"
Ibid you ever consider" says the
ditor of the Severance News, as he
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