The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-05-15
1Aiscellanenms.
| AM GUILTY.

1t is a trite old saying that there can
be no love without jealousy. | was
passionately attached to my wife and
| will freely confess. that | was madly
jealous of her, and with good cause it
would seem. One day | met her out
talking TO "a strange man, who moved
hastily away on my approach. She
was confused, agitated, and when |
taxed her with it, refused to tell me
who he was. His name was Lesson
that is all she would say. Constraint
and mistrust rose up between US then,
and we babe long farewell to happi-
ness.
1t came to terrible crisis when one
day, returning home at an unexpected
time, found him in my house. |
overheard part Of their interview,
beheld the passionate kiss of farewell.
and wild, mad, distracted, | rushed
into the street. Here | met Clement
Grimston, to whom | poured forth
all my wrongs. He said he knew
something of this man Lesson, and
would take me to a little public house
in Rotherhithe, where | might meet
him and demand an explanation, but
at the the same time implored me to
do nothing rash.
All that day stepped my senses in
strong drink, the FOOLS Lethe, where
in he browns all his troubles. | saw
Grimston again, and at night we went
to Rotherhithe. 1t was Il low, horri-
BILE den, and it is strange what one
who appeared a gentleman could be
doing there. | met him but by this
time | was so mad and blind with
drink and with passion that all that
fnIlnNual 10 Ilttnr HANK tn
When at last returned to complete
consciousness, the first faint gray
streaks of morning light were peeping
between the blinds, and lay on Il
couch in my own house. The only
other occupant of the room was Gle
ment Grimston, who paced restlessly
up and down.
What is the matter?'' cried, pass
ing my hand over nv brow. What
has happened? All, remember, dim
ly. Where is Adela?''
"She is gone"
Not with! Oh, what happened
last night can't remember What II
fool | was to drink like that Tell
me, Grimston, for heavens sake, tell
me ~
Don't you really remember?'' he
asked slowly as he gazed down stead
tasty at me.
Mo-
You met Erie Lesson. You had II
terrible quarrel. You were SO drunk
YOU seemed unconscious of what you
said or did. - tried to restrain you.
You would not listen to me and then"
Then what % demanded, starting
to my feet.
There was pause. We looked at
each other, | stupidity helpless, he
with solemn pity and sorrow in his
eyes.
"Yes, what then - l exclaimed
again.
He laid his hands upon my should
ers, and bending forward whispered:
"Then you shot him dead ~
\
| have left the country. | am
dwelling by myself in a lonely hut
high up among the Swiss Alps. did
not see INV wife before | let home.
Thank heaven for that How could
bid her farewell Is she not faithless
to me, and am not guilty-guilty of
murder?
Clement Grimston was truly a
friend in need to me in my present
horrible situation. He had managed
to get me away from the public house
at Rotherhithe before my crime was
Observation-Disclosures | was conscious of
myself and he again it was who helped
Inc to leave England.
provided myself with money
enough for a few simple necessities.
Adela has means of her own and will
want for nothing, whatever may be
fall her. 1t is best she should think
me dead-lost to her forever. | am
no longer Oswald Lestrange. | have
changed my identity. Would to God
| could so easily change the past !,
am indeed dead to the world. |
never speak to soul, save now and
then the shepherds and peasants of
the mountain land. When the Eng
lish travellers pass near my retreat, l
shun them as | would u pestilence.
Then there are the terrible nights
when wake up in sweat from some
CHASTITY nightmare-but not more
CHASTITY than the reality-wake up in
an agony of remorse for the human
life which have taken. And then
another terrible thought generally
follows upon this: Suppose l should
have made a mistake? Suppose Adela
could have explained had | given her
time? Suppose she should have been
guiltless? All, heaven! What diff
ference can that make now? None,
save to intensity my suffering and re-
morse. never dare approach her
again. | must remain dead to her,
for II am guilty! All, poor Adela,
how | loved her once-aye, and love
her as much still, God help me.
How can | go on leading this exist
ence? How is it all to end-this living
death, this self-inflicted expiration of
a crime | often wonder. Yet here |
have dragged out three horrible,
weary years-three years that have
seemed to me like an eternity.
One day in my lonely wanderin2s |
came upon spot where some tourists
had been lunching. They had left Il
newspaper behind them. Mechan-
ically | took it up. 1t was a London
daily, now some three or four weeks
old. With eager longing | read the
news. 1t was the first | had seen of
| the old home land in three long, weary
years. That journal falling in my way
| was one of those strokes of chance
| which we call improbable in fiction,
but which in reality direct the destin-
| les of our lives. Suddenly | started
back as short paragraph met my
| gaze: =,
at is expected that the trial will
| take place about the 18th proN., at
| the central criminal court of Clement
| Grimston, now under arrest for the
murder of Mr.. Lesson at Rotherhithe
/ about three years ago.
/ nL TI,iC | lrna1aI