West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-07-30

lacks is confidence in us. She can {
tell what our designs are. Sing a
couple of verses of THE Sweet BY
and By and give her TO understand
that she is among friends"
"And you be easy in taking hold.
Some COWS have to be pottod You
know. Don't squeeze too hard at
the beginning
"I'll attend to the squeezing bus.
iness. guess this Is the right
side, after all, but I'll have her
learned to milk on both sides within
week. want no one sided COWS
around me. Jee.whizz, but what
was that !"
The COW lifted both hind feet
at once, but missed pail and Mr..
Bowser.
"You never MIXED a COW In all
your life J" exclaimed Mrs. Bowser.
who had been closely watching his
operations.
Then I'll begin now or perish
IN the attempt - he shouted.
"Durn her eyes, but does she think
this is a circus, and is she trying
to jump backward through paper
hoop ? Now, then, start that sing
ing again. Never milked q COW |
I'll show you whether l ever did or
not 70
Mr.. Bowser started in with a grim
determination on. Once or twice
in his life he had seen a man milk
COW. He distinctly rememb bered
that it was all hand work, and that
no machinery was employed either
above or below. 1t was the squeeze
that brought the milk, and he got
firm hold and frightened his flu
gers. Mrs. Bowser had finished
the second line of the beautiful
hymn when the COW made sudden
movement with her left leg. 1t was
. com binatIon of base ball, cricket
and chain lightning. The milk pail
flew past her and hit the fence with
bang. but Mr.. Bowser and his
box and grim determination flew
the other way. lie wasn't exactly
sure what had happened, and he
asked no questions until his breath
returned and he could sit up. Then
he queried
WAS it the-tho COW ?'
cit was the cow" answered Mrs.
Bowser. al told you that you knew
nothing about milking"
"She--she kicked me. did she ?"
"She did. Give me that pail and
I'll see what can do. You'd bet
ter 90 in and lie down"
81 think l will for--for a minute
or two, and then I'll come out and
see who kicked the COW and made
her kick me ! I'll also break her
blamed old back with the smoke.
house ~
Mrs. Bowser got the pail and box
and sat down to the COW. Ten
minutes later she entered the house
with about half a pint Of milk in
the pail and saie
"Well, Mr.. Bowser, Green has
furnished you a nice sort Of COW,
hasn't he ?"
"Did you milk her ?" he asked,
as he lifted his head of the lounge.
but kept both hands pressed on his
stomach.
"There is no milk TO be had. She
hasn't been a new mich COW. If /
we're you
"Stop right there, Mrs. Bowser I
] ain now in what IS probably a
dying state, having received ten
thousand pound blow in the pit Of
the stomach II die you will have
accomplished your cold bloodod
purpose; if ] survive until morning
you and ] aud the COW will have a
little talk and straighten things
out -
"But what did I do ?" she pro.
tested.
''Nevor you mind A woman
who will kick a COW To make that
COW kick aud kill her husband Is
guilty Of murder, and she's no wife
Of mine. Just keep right away
from me until / die or recover, and
then this thing can be settled in
about two minutes -
"Aud you say kicked the COW ?''
but Mr.. Bowser only glared at