The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-03-25
CHIMMIE AND THE ARMY.
A Visit to . SIum Lassfes' Meeting Which
Resulted In q Conversion.

Bow'ry ever since was a kid; but, p'chee,
dey is all in a scrap what's worse dan dat
Dunraven flimham.
Oats right Let me tell you. Mr..
Paul and Mr.. Burton is members of dat
yacht club what give de grand trun down
t. de lord chap, Dunraven, and dey scrap
ped and dey scrapped and dey scrapped
over dat game till Miss Fannie tole 'em
dat if ever dey opened dere mouts any
more about de dinky yacht race she'd
break dere faces. Dat wasn't just what
Miss Fannie said, cause she talks only
heightened langwudge, but OATS what she
meaned, all right enough.
"Mr Burton, he's kinder stuck on de
English lord chap, sec? But Mr.. Paul,
he's straight American, dead straight
American, like me, and he says, What
tell, he says; deere can't be but one mug
can win fight or race, and if de mug
what loses don't stand up to de dough dish
widout hollerin murder, den he amt no
good, and oughter get de dinky dink.'
We'll OATS de way dey jawed till Miss
Fannie put de kibash on dere chinnin, and
de house was as peaceful as willy boy wild
a cigarette till dis Salvation Army row
came along and den dere was more trouble
in de family.
"His whiskers says dat de English mug
what come over from form parts t put a
cash register on de word of de gospel was
a person non CRATER, what means dat he
was person not in it.
dat started de game. Mr.. Burton says
dat de boss mug what lives in England
has right to run de machine accordin t.
de rules and, if do rules was broke, den
he had de right to ask what tell?
"Den Mr.. Paul he gets hot in de collar,
and he says dat if Mr.. Burton was right
den George Washin'ton was wrong, which
is de man what discovered de city of Wash
in ton, where dey makes laws for de law
yers and sasses form queens and kings.
Say, nearly unscrews me arm Openin
small bottles for 'em, havin t. do some
thin t. keep meself in de room, SO as not
t. miss any of de rounds. Dey was all
talkin to onct and putin up terrible fronts
of KNOWN all about de game, when Miss
Fannie killed dem all dead wild askin in
dat smood voice of hers, Has any of you
gents ever been to a Salvation Army meet
IMP
''Say, honest dey all looks as silly as
bull pup in bathtub, and dey just t'rows
der wine in dere faces and coughs and
don't say nothin fer awhile.
well, his whiskers says, after he taut
awhile, No, my DEAR he says, I don't
tink we has ever went
''Den Miss Fannie she says, Before yuse
all settle de affairs of de Salvation Army
spose you chases yourself to one of der
meetin's and take tumble to yourselves
de game
MIR. Paul, he held out his glass for me
t. fill, and den he says, sOlemnlike, desc
was his very words, 1T strikes me dat our
spiritual welfare would be improved as
we'll as our understandin' if we adopts de
resolution magnanimously.
$50 de next evenin his whiskers says t.
me could I take 'em down t. where dere
was Salvation Army meetin, and I says,
In a minute, for 1 know'd where some
loidies dey call slun lassies was preachin.
'Say, it was down near Chatham square,
and when we got off de car his whiskers
give one look and tried t. make a sneak,
but Mr.. Paul he held him up t. de dough
dish and makes him stay. For awhile de
crowd was more curiouser about our gang
dan about de Salvationers, and dey gives
US a great jolly. Dere was one old woman
ulster know down dere, Mrs. Murphy,
what was rushin growler, but when she
sees me she stops and says, 'Shure, it's
Chimmio Fadden and his foine frinds. In
trojuce me t. his whiskers, Chimmie DEAR
she says, wild smile you couldn't spoil
wild club.
"Say, I taut his whiskers would trow a
fit right dere, but Mr.. Paul says, Certain
ly, Chames, he says, present your lady
friend; I am sure Mr.. Van Courtlandt
would be pleased to know her, he says
givin me de wink.
''Well, say, 1 had t. do it, if 1 got slug
ged for it, and 1 give Mrs. Murphy a knock
down in polite style to all de gents; and
Mr.. Paul he says t. her, solemn as Il judge
says he, Mrs. Murphy, we would be pleas
ed e get your views on de American split
from de English Salvationers,' he says.
His whiskers tells Mr.. Paul not t. be
a ass, but Mr.. Paul made a bluff at not
hearin him, and was as polite as a actor
t. de old woman.
We'll, you oughter seen her. She kinder
hunched herself inside her close like bull
pup what's glad t. see you, and she says:
Tell wild de English savin your presence
sir, she says T. Mr.. Burton, who she taut
was Englishman; Tell wild de Eng
lishp
Can you answer dat logic?' says Mr.
Paul to Mr.. Burton. 'Shure he can't
says Mrs. Murphy. I'D not have me sowl
saved if ut was depindin on de English
for de savin,' she says, and Mr.. Paul says
We Americans stand togedder, Mrs. Muir
ply
''I was gettin leary of de game, and
wonderin how could I chase off de old
woman, when Mr.. Paul sees de lay, and
tips her quarter, askin could she use it
for her healt.
'''Oi ken,' says she, but Orn not go to
Kelly's for de beer, for owe him de price
and de tief would take it out of dis, once
he seen it. May de Lord love you, and
not call for you too soon, she says, and
makes hurry sneak wild her growIer.
Say, his whiskers was dead sore on
Mr.. Paul for jolIyin Mrs. Murphy, and
tells him t. pay 'tenuion t. de army lassies,
what had a tough gang round EN-, but
was keepin EN- quiet as mice wild dere talk.
We listened and listened, and his whiskers
kept sayin over de tings what do lassies
was sayin t. de gang and pipin off de nice
way de gang was treatin de lassies, and
how de gang stopped usin tough Ian
gwudge, and didn't go t. de beer joints.
Pretty soon Mr. Burton says t. Mr.. Paul,
I guess dere amt no need OF no for n boss
telIin desc girls how t. do dis job
Not on your life, says Mr.. Paul;
fwe'u have anOdder Boston tea party first