Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-03-26


Cline feathers do not make fine birds"
But every harum scarum
Is not prince; SO heed my words
If you've fine feathers, wear 'em.
-Harpers Weekly.
''In battle musicians are always kept
in the rear That's not fair. Many
of them richly deserve killing. Chi
cago Record.
eff / had your pull" said the small
boy who was struggling with a large
kite in March breeze, Il could git
purity high up in the world, too. Chi
cago Tribune.
On the ball now keep your eye;
In month or more
You will hear the same old cry:
Mister, volts de scorer
Philadelphia Record.
II had always been an American UNI
It'll went around curve in n cable
car this morning "What difference did
that make?" "Then I became Lap
lander."-Life.
r. r. Official-"You may not believe
it, but this dining car cost 500 600"
Planetree-"How long has it been run
ning?' ''Just week. Paid for it
self yet?-Life.
Jinks-'What's the cause Of this
twaddle about elevating the stage, I'd
like to know?' Filkins-"Want to get
it above the level of the women's hats,
I ppose."-Brooklyn Llfe.
man / ever knew. Gaswell-Indeed?
Dukane-Yes, indeed! Even when he
has nothing to do he is toe lazy to do
it.-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph
':You say he is remarkable manY'
very" I'm what way?" He's the
only scientist in the country who has
not made an important discovery rela-
tive to Y rays" Chicago Evening Post.
He went out west to find place.
Where he could have full swing,
Then stole horse in Cripple Creek
And got that very thing. !;
New York Herald.
Charley Harduppe-''What do you
mean by sending my clothes home @.
o. D.? Didn't I have running ac-
count with you?" Kustem Made
Eyes. But it is all run out. "-Brooklyn
Life
Tall ;Shopper-"Will you please tell
me how long these skirts are?' Clerk
(superciliously)-'"r are the regular
length, madam" '"rall Shopper meek
ly)-"Ah, but I'm not."-New York
Journal
Mrs. Moneybags-"Y sons extrav-
agance is increasing. He wants a new
plaything. This time it is a stable Of
race horses" Mr.. Moneyba gs-"That's
all right. / was afraid he wanted to
start newspaper York Week
ly.
This world would be devoid of cares;
A resting place, where all is nice,
If coal would but come up the stair
AS smoothly as it does the price.
Washington Star.
This is leap-year," remarked the
maiden. timidly, land I am disposed
to avail myself of my sex's privilege.
Mr.. Tillinghast, | love you. Will you
be mine?' "But can you support
husband" asked Mr.. Tillinghast, anx-
iously.-Judge.
The old family cat awoke from a nap
before the fire and stretched himself
in the manner common to cats. Mar
gle looked at him with distended eyes.
my doodness!' she exclaimed; Il aesa
re tat's dom t boil over.'-Judge.
"I'll kiss you for my sisters sake
pray don't forget YOURSELF she said.
T Sfr iphfway took her q her word
And kissed her for myself instead.
Truth
HE stood at the top of the steps,"
she said, in telling about it afterwards,
land / mustered up enough courage to
say: You know, this is leap year.?
Yes. What them "Then he leaped
and haven't seen him ince.'-Chicago
Post
Perry Patettic Gn the road)-W'
don't you go in? De dogs all right.
Don't you see him Vaughn his tail?
Wayworn Watson tat the gate)-Yes,
an he's growlin' at the same time. Z
don't know which end to beiieve.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer
There's only one girl in the world for
me-
Is the song he was oft heard to holler,
And. come to find out, the one he adored
Was the girl on the almighty dollar.
-Yonkers Statesman.
a fellow always feels satisfied with
himself after having taken little
game said the fellow coming out of
the restaurant We'll. it all depends
on what kind Of game he's been taking
in replied his friend, who had been
ou4 At the noker club-YOnkers States