The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1896-08-21

idea of making my first trip on
wheel a nocturnal one. must face the
ordeal in the cruel veracity of sun
| light.
never could quite understand how
every one in the neighborhood found
out that on that particular day was
going to make my first attempt at con-
quering the unruly spirit of a soulless
mechanism. It was after nightfall when
| brought the wheel home. l thought
the secret was my own and all things
seemed propitious to a quiet contest be-
TWEEN the wheel and myself, in which 1
should have won the laurels before the
neighbors were apprised that the battle
was on. To further insure this result
had for several days studied the man
ners of veteran riders, especially when
leading their wheels. / flattered my
self I had this pretty near perfection.
As I led the wheel out to the street
even stopped to examine n spoke crit
icalIy, in precisely the manner l had
seen an expert do the day before. 1t
was in vain. The audience was in wait
ing.
The prospect, as looked up and down
the street, appalled, me- Every door
and window seemed to have its occu-
pants. Women waited patiently on
front porches- Men lounged lazily over
front gates. I don't believe that there
was a house within four blocks that
didn't have man about IT. And then
-horrorsl the street seemed infested
with small boys. The small boy knows
instinctively at what particular time
and place man is about to make a
fool of himself, and he usually manages
TO be ON hand to add zest to the per-
formanee. His comments on such oc-
casions are not original witty or wise,
but are woefulIy effective.
l believe am a brave man. once
voluntarily acted as judge of debate in
young ladies' literary society, and
stand ready. for a sufficient inducement,
to be ore of committee on awards at
q baby show. Nevertheless, this once l
was frightened. Not at the wheel.
had an affectionate contempt for that
airy-looking skeleton of wood and steel,
but object to being stared at, particu-
larly when I feel as if am going to
make an exhibition of myself.
1 put one foot firmly On the step,
hoped along on the other, in the regu-
lation style and stepped up. Now, am
certain that had that wheel balanced
all right. had raised myself with ex-
traordinary care, and if the wheel had
been q steady-going machine of year
or SOS service, it would have been all
right. This was a new wheel, though,
and it's chief characteristic was concen-
trated villainy.
That's why, just as got my foot well
off the ground and was putting my sole
dependence on the step, the thing
lunged over. 1 expected to see the
wheel broken ITO pieces, but it was not
injured. 1t had a mission to perform
yet, and could not afford to break until
it had accomplished it. That mission
was to preach to me the doctrine of the
total depravity of inanin1ate things.
After picking up the wheel locked
around at my audience. / hardly eX-
pected applause, but thought might
reasonably look for mirth. 1 was even
prepared to laugh heroically with them.
but not smile was visible. They all
seemed interested, but not amused.
They were reserving their merriment.
The next time had better luck. l
succeeded in getting on the seat. This
made it more interesting for the specta-
tors, because when the wheel lunged,
ran around in circle and then
collapsed, the situation was good deal
more ridiculous. As a source of Gmuse-
ment I saw it was going to be success.
After this fall, the men who had been
lounging on the front gates sauntered
up to where l was. The small boys,
who had been viewing operations from
respectful distance, also drew around
me. was at the food-tide of my mis-
cry.
no longer regarded the bicycle as
a soulless thing of steel, nickel and
wood. 1t was treacherous and en-
phatically animate monster to be put
down at any cost. 1 grasped it savagely,
placed it roughly in position and
II Ill1CN mt DuO OAASO
again. had forgotten the audience.
The men advised, the boys jeered aud
the women laughed; heard, saw, but
did not heed. 1 was mad. I was going
to do or die, and several times the
chances seemed greatly with the sec
ond alternative,
At last got the wheel to go around.
A thrill of joy went through me. I saw
the landscape slip by. 1 felt myself
passing rapidly through space. The
crowd which 1 had feared now dis
dained. was leaving them far behind.
1 felt that until that moment had not
known life. The hitherto existing re-
lation of space to time was radically al
tered. It was almost as though new
world had been opened to me, and chief
among all my delights was victory. On
1 spun over the fine country road; at
last was master
1 ought to have noticed that gravel
bed. Exaltation is a good thing in its
place, but its place is not astride a
brand new wheel. picked myself up
laboriously. The wheel was only par