Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1896-08-04
The "OGce Dog.
FIRED Haislet, Interpreter.l

lrreO dAiSlet, lnUerpreter.I
The PUBLIC OPINIONS ecru purp
climbed onto the mahogany table set
with diamonds, used as an editorial
desk, and after demolishing the paste
and winking his other eye at the ex-
change editor, he dipped his long,
ropy tail into the ink well and pro-
duced the following:
DEBORAH! The little city in the val
ley where my puphood days were spent!
How familiar seem many landmarks;
yet how changed as whole. Even
now the old school house, where Profs.
McGoffin, Breckenridge and COffeen
industriOusly toiled to produce some
thing from nOthing-I say, even now
the old school house is wreck, like
many of the animals it once protected.
OFT have l meandered down the SER
pentine streamlets in this locality and
angled for the angular basslet while
Sunday School was at its height on
the billet. And again, in the cleaning
have sat me down and remOrselessly
considered how the dust had escaped
from the rudder ofmy pantaloons and
dreamed of the happy days when
mothers slipper would be like the
Populist party)-a thing of the past.
And when escaping from my parental
kennel by the light of the moon, with
the family carving knife in one hand
and . grim determination 70 hunt saw
ages and bear In the other, (Ban wasn't
in town then) I cared little Tor the. fas-
ture and less for the hereafter.
All nature was dream those days.
The slopeing valleys, the abrupt hills,
the winding river, the songs of birds,
the woods and dells, the ferns and wild
flowers, gurgling springs whose pure
waters flow over tiny pebbles near
grassy shores, dog fennel and Indian
turnip, stinkweed and rhubarb were
all one to me then.
But such is life. Were we all wise
We would fail to detect folly. And
were there no folly to detect, there
would be no gOssipers. And were
there no gossipers, no scandal would
come to light. And were there no
scandals, no sensational papers would
be published. And without these pa.
pers the government would loose post
age. And should the government ex-
chequer be reduced there would be
more taxes. More taxes would mean
that the poor man would be compelled
to "ante up" But digress. What 1
mean iS
For ora. fool OFT throws dust in the wise dogs
Decorah is not behind the times in
any manner. OF course she has her lit
tie scandals, her gOssipers, etc., or she
could not compete with sister towns.
The latest step toward citification
Webster keeps this word on ice) is a
directory in course of construction
much similar to those gotten up in
larger cities. 1t will give the name,
occupation and residence Of every per-
son of age in DecOrah and West De
cOrah, as well as a careful census of the
two towns. Is it but natural that some
antiquated speciman of humanity,
lowering on the edge of a yawning,
hungry grave, should lay back his ears
ready to kick, and doubt the accuracy
of the work ere it is barely begun? Of
course not. DecOrah must keep up
with the times, hence it is not popular
to cruelty kickers. But, seriously, be-
ing one of the solicitors for DecOrah's
City Directory, let me say that the
National Census 20. are severely strict
with employees, and al unfinished work
OF any town would mean discharge and
q forfeiture of salary. Some money
must be made on the work or it could
not be produced, and any one desirous
Of ascertaining the system carried out
by the company will be cheerfully in
formed by applying to the agents, or
the general manager of the
western agency-H. B. BabcOck, New
Iowa."
At this juncture the "office-dog"
heard "scrap" on the street and
Jumped from the table with growl.
If he is captured again in the course of
a month we will endeavOr to get him to
wag another tale to the long suffering
public.