The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1896-11-14

ballroom than in riding the bike, even
in boomers. A few years ago ! was
shocked at the idea of any decent girl
riding the wheel. but my prtjudices
have passed away. 1t now seems 9
graceful thing to do, and admire the
poetry of their motion. My wife is
in love with the wheel, and says that
if she could call back forty or fifty
years she would have one. Two
Of her grandsons came over from
Rome on their wheels, and one moon
light night she remarked that if there
was nobody to sec her she would 60
down to the tennis court and take q
round on the sly. ''Merciful ia
thersl Horrible dictu! Sic
semper tyrannisr' I exclaimed.
'sYou couldn't ride if you would
and you shouldn't if you could.
and you .shan't even think about
it. Now, there, and I departed those
coasts and walked out in the hall to
let my choler down. Pretty soon the
boys came out on the veranda and l
heard her laughing and telling them
how she aroused my indignation. So
came back and made out like I was
funning, but / wasent. She wants me
to take round just to see me fall off.
1 reckon, but I'm not going to try it.
Ny time is past for athletics. / can
chop wood and roll the unicycle and
ride in the quadricycle, but this double
spinning wheel business don't suit an
old man with o very high center of
gravity. 1t doesn't suit woman of
that kind, either. But after all, the
bike is rather on expensive toy. The
boys cay that a good one will last about
two years, and in the meantime the
repairs will average few dollars q
year, and so / don't see that it is any
cheaper in the long run than horse.
But the price is entirely too high. A
man who knows told me that the actusl
cost of a hundred-dollar bike way
about $35. I know broker who sold
forty-two in three months and his COM
sion was 81 on each and bonus of $500
extra when his sales amounted to So, goo.
Our people are buying thousands of
them, and our money just pours into
their hopper like it always does for
everything they make and put at us. If
it is not Chicago exposition it is
something else, and they keep us poor
all the time. But CODE says: ''That's
all right, major, for everything is
adopted, and the world is obleeged to
have poor folks to keep rich folks in
money. If there wasent any chickens
there wouldent be any hawks. If there
wasent any rats there wouldent be any
cats, for everything is adopted. " "And
if there wasent any girls there would
ent be any boys to fool 'em." said l.
"Jes SO, adzakly So" sail Cobe and
he shifted his tobacco to the other
jaw.
Bot I can still work around the
house and the garden. The flower pit
was dilapidated, and my wife called
my attention to it several times. AID
SO yesterday I repaired the broken
glass aid then got my can of red paint
and gave the sash new coat. It looks
fine and was proud of it, and luxuri-
ated in advance upon the praise she
would bestow upon me, but when I
came into her august presence she dis
covered some paint on my pants and
vest. "Was there ever such q man
in this world; painting in his best
clothes-tbe only decent pants you
have got," and she looked afar off and
sighed. "Well," she continued, stake
them off right now before the paint
dries and let me work on them. Inever
can get you TO change your clothes
when you are going to do dirty work. -
So I changed them and she got the
benzine and perfumed the room with
it, and in half an hour my garments
were cleaner than ever. "What makes
you do that way?" she said. "Why,
my dear, 1 thought coull paint and
not get drop on my clothes, and
feel so much like o gentleman with my
best clothes on that I hate to take
them of, but won't do so any more y
In course of time she got over it, and
got some praise after all. Things
are now calm and serene.-BILL All
in Atlanta Constitution.