The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-10-22
1 can see no signs of it,. E"
THE ARIZONA KICKER
SAM HASTINGS SECURES AN APOLOGY
FROM THE EDITOR.


Fool With the United States Govern
ment Without Getting Hurt-An Editor
Without Sand.
In the last issue of The Kicker we
had a local item to the effect that Sam
Hastings, owner of the Cloudburst sa-
loon, would make good fodder for the
vigilance committee. The item was
based on information that he had killed
two men in Wyoming and had been a
road agent in Montana. Mr.. Hastings
called on us two or three days ago in
the most gentle and courteous manner
and proved that we were entirely mis-
taken. He bit mans ear off in Utah
and licked stage driver in Nebraska
years ago, but that is the extent of his
wickedness. For ten years past he has
been sending money to Chicago or
phan asylum and buying tracts for free
distribution in the west. Mr.. Hastings
has subscribed for two copies of The
Kicker, and his advertisement will also
be found in another department.. We
did him an injustice and cheerfully
apologize.
He Will Live.
Tuesday afternoon, while the post
master Of this town (who is ourself)
was seated in his private room at the
postoffice, stranger who didn't know
th of fboro bod n
affairs in this locality entered the office,
and, standing at the general delivery
window, began whooping and shooting
and calling for mail for Bill Thompson.
That was the fashion which prevailed
here three months ago, but which we
abolished after ruction with II differ
ent men. AS soon as a riot began we
went out and asked Mr.. Thompson to
desist, but he turned his shooter in our
direction instead. We had a finger
graZed and lost lock of hair, but in
the course of five minutes Mr.. Thomp.
son was lying in heap on the sidewalk
and had lost his memory. The doctor in
attendance says he will get we'll in the
course of two or three months, but that
he will always drag his left leg behind
him. AS postmaster we represent the
United States government, and if any
critter can fool with Uncle Sam and not
get hurt that's his good luck.
Suspended Publication.
Mr.. John Donaldson, late editor and
proprietor of the Sunset Hill Herald,
passed through this town two days ago
EN- route to Tombstone, having his news
paper outfit on wagon. He called at
The Kicker office to say that he had
suspended publication at the Hill and
was looking for another town in which
to bring out his weekly. He evidently
hoped for consolation, but got none
from US. When he first entered the ter
ritory, we sized him up for a shoemak-
er. He is man without sand. Any
critter Oh two legs can enter his sanctum
any time of day and make him kneel.
The boys over at the Hill used to go in
and cuff his ears and slap his burnside
whiskers as a diversion, and Mr.. John
Donaldson would lay down like a rab-
bit. They don't want him at Tombstone
or elsewhere in the territory. Let him
pass on to New England and unload his
outfit beside some gurgling brook.
No Council Meeting.
Owing to the lack of quorum, there
was no meeting Of the common council
last Tuesday night, and there has been
much unfavorable comment on the part
OF the public over the same. His honor
the mayor (who is ourself) desires to
state that it was in nowise his fault.
Sunday afternoon Alderman jackson
got drunk and lay down in the road and
was run over by drove of 800 mules,
and it will be several weeks before he
will be able to leave the house. Mon
day forenoon Alderman Higgins kicked
at Chinaman and hit telegraph pole
instead, and his whole five toes were
driven back into his heel. On the even
ing of the same day Alderman Murphy
was idiot enough to start out in search
of half breed who had called him
liar and to take along a rusty old re-
volver which hadn't been fred in a
year. When he found his man and
started to shoot, the gun burst and
nearly killed the alderman. With the
three men laid up there was no quorum,
and no business could be transacted. It
will probably be month before any
thing can be done, and the blame should
be placed where it belongs.
NJ. QUAD.