, 1896-04-07
AM GUILTY.

aionately attached to my wife and l viii;
freely confess that l was madly jealous
Of her, and with good cause it would
seem. One day l met her out ia lking to
. strange man, who moved hastily away
ON my approach. She was confused, agi-
tated, and when I taxed her with il re-
fused to tell me who he was. His name
was Leeson-that was all she would
say. Constraint and m~istrust rose up
between MS then. and we babe a long
farewell to happiness.
It came to a terrible crisis when one
day, returning home at an unexpected
time. l found him in my house. / over
heard a part Of their interview, beheld
the passionate kiss of farewell. and wild.
mad, distracted, I rushed into the street.
Here l met Clement Grimston. to whom
I poured forth all my wrongs. He said
he knew something of this man Lesson,
and would take me to a little public
house in Rotherhithe. where l might
meet him and demand an explanation,
but at the same time implored me to do
nothing rash.
All that day l steepet. my senses in
strong drink. the FOOLS Lethe. wherein
he browns all his troubles. l saw Grim
ston again, and at night we went to
Rotherhithe. 1t was n low, horrible den,
and it is strange what one who appeared
a gentleman could DO doing there. l
met him, but by this time l was so mad
and blind with drink and with passion
that all that followed is an utter blank
to me.
When ut last l returned to complete
consciousness. the first faint gray streaks
Of morning light were peeping between
the blinds. and l lay OH a couch in my
" house. The only other occupant of
the room was Clement Grimston, who
paced restlessly up and down.
"What is the matter?" l cried, pass,
ing my hand over my brow. "What has
happened? All. l remember, dimly.
Where is Adela?"
"She is gone"
"Not with -! Oh. what happened
last night? l can't remember. What u
fool l was to drink like thati Tell me,
Crimson, for heavens sake, tell mel"
Don't You really remember" he
asked slowly Us he gazed down stead.
tasty at me.
NO"
"You met Eric Lesson. You had o
terrible quarrel. You were so drunk you
seemed unconscious of what you said or
did. I tried to restrain you. You would
not listen to me, and them
"Then what?'' l demanded, starting
to my feet.
There was II pause. We looked at each
other, ! stupidity helpless, he with a
solemn pity and sorrow in his eyes.
Eyes, what then?' Iexclaimed again.
He laid his hands upon my shoulders,
and bending forward whispered:
Then yon shot him dead'.
have left the country. lam dwelling
by myself in a lonely hut high up
among the Swiss Alps. l did not see my
wife before I left home. Thank heaven
for that How could I bid her farewell?
Il she not faithless to me. and an I not
guilty-guilty Of murder?
Clement Grimston was truly a friend
in need to me in my present horrible
situation. He had managed to get me
away from the public house at Rother-
htthe before my crime was discovered
before I was conscious Of it myself-and
he again it was who helped me to leave
England.
provided myself with money enough
for my few simple necessities. Adela
has means Of her OWE and will want for
nothing, whatever muy befall her. 1t is
BEST she should think me dead-lost to
her forever. 1 am no longer Oswald Le-
strange. I have changed my identity.
Would to God l could so easily change
the past l am indeed dead to the world.
I never speak to a soul. save now and
then the shepherds and peasants of the
mountain land. When the English raw
elers pass near my retreat, l shun them
~ / would a pestilence.
Then there are the terrible nights
when / wake up III a sweat from some
chastity nightmare-but not more ghast-
ly than the reality-wake up in an
agony Of remorse for the human life
which I have taken. And then another
terrible thought generally follows upon
this: Suppose I should have made a mis-
take? Suppose Adela could have ex-
planned had ! given her time? Suppose
abe should have been guiltless? All,
heaveni What difference a that make
now? None. ave to intensity my suffer-
ing and reinorse. Inever dare approach
her again. must remain dead to her,
for IL am GUILTY. All. poor Adela.
how l loved her once-aye, and love
her a. much still. God help mel
How can I 10 on leading this exist