The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1896-01-09
BILL ARP TALKS PEACE.
HIS EXPOSITION ExPERIENOE.

HIS EXPOSITION EXPERIENOE.
A squealer Unloaded some Exposi-
ton handkerchief ON Him--Don't
Believe There will be Any War
With England.
They told mo OF various things thew
would like to have for Christmas
presents for friends and posterity.
They wanted seventeen l think. or
course l listened in q subdued manner,
but Al elephant had trod on my pock ct.
book and 1t was 60 Hat | couldn't see
through this business. My wife said
that lAudkerchiefs were good thing
--nice handkerchiefs were always in
order. She bad some in her trunk to
send to the boys. There are various
things in that trunk. 1t is sort OF
btrcasury, u cache, but it won't hold
enough things for tho grandchildren.
Dolls and baby carriages and jumping
jacks and picture books had to be
chiefs. Well, as l was turning the
Norcross corner l heard Il squealer
squealing handkerohiefs. There was
stack Of them on box and q crowd
around and he was passing handkor-
chiefs along for examination. "Genu-
inc linen. pure Irish lihen, all guaran-
teed, only conts a piece. Examine
them, gontlomen. These arc eXposi-
tion goods that We are obliged to sell
out, for we are going homo. Home.
sweet home," etc. Never heard man
squal moro sweetly. Twas shy at first
but took hold of the handker chief. 1t
was good sizo and nicely borderod and
looked like linen and felt like linon.
shore" So 1 thought + had found the
worry thing my wife wanted and [ told
him | would take ten. "rhank you,
sir" ho SAID politely, and ho took them
off the folded pile and wrapped them
up and | put them in my little grip
and handed him a dol!ar---a silver dol
lar. He didn't hand back the change.
but leaned up close to me and whis-
pered, " You are a family man,
reckon" Yos," said |. "Well, |
will give you twenty moro for the
other half dollar" said ho. So 1 took
them and put them oil in my satchel.
Good gracious Thirty linen hand
kerchiefs for ono dollar. Enough to
keep all the grandchildren's noses
clean and leave some for me. I was
proud.
When my wife opened tho packages
cotton and the veriest, thinnest, sla.
ziest cotton at that. You have boon
cheated again as usual" That rascally
sQuealer had handed round nice linen
handkerchief as a sample and wrapped
up poor thin cotton ones so quick wo
didn't suspect anything wrong. But
they will do for the noses, reckon.
In fact, 1 rather like them for my grip,
and carry two all tho time-one for
each sido. And I bought beautiful
| little doll carriage with a parasol over
| it for 20 cents and lunch basket and q
| mice that runs around on tho floor and
q spool case and some other little tricks
and came home happy, for Christmas
! earth peace, good will to mon, and
especially to the children. Yes, that't
! it On earth peace We arc moi
| going to have any war with England
But I'll be dogond if Johnny Bull shall
| stop over hcre and take land that
! don't belong to him-land and water,
| for there is the mouth OF the Orinoco
| that ought to be open and FREQ to our
! commerce. War is horrible, dsvilish
| business and it ought not to be con-
sidered seriously. No, sir We are
| not going to have any war, but I'll be
dad blasted If Johnny Bull shall have
anything over here that don't right
fully belong to him-the greedy old
IhoChl. l. uo ldCU L uoH DollOVo
those English know whore Venezuela
is or who Mr.. Monroe was, but they
nave got q big map and stake out the
earth and claim to tho stakes. Fifty
years ago they put down their stakes
on an island in the Caribbean sea and
t'c isls sank In an earthquake and
went don and England Is still guard :
ing the hole and waiting for tho island
to rise again. That's what man told
me.
But the idea Of war with our old
mother country. God bloss her and
her noble queen, who for over fifty
years has been q model woman-a
noble earted lady Of the olden times
an illustrious example of good, old
fashioned, honest motherhood d
nine children right straight along nd
nursed them In tho old-fashionod Wv
and gave thea castor oil and salts and
sung to them at night just like wo do.
[ have great respect for any woman
who has raised nine children, and
woman who has raised up ton like nv
wife has; but III be ding-donged If
johnny Bull or any other bull, shall
put ohip on our hat. We arc going
to investigate. Our committee will 60
over there and report and maybe By
the Fourth of July we will know some
thing about this business, and then we
will let 1T fret along for q year or two
and Ak up an arbitration, and by the
year 1900 the dispute will be settled
That's tho way we did tho Alabama
claim and the Boring seal fisheries.
We needn't be in hurry about fight
ing. In fact, II looks like sacri ege
for Christian nations TO talk war dur
ing Christmas times. We ought to
have waited until the Fourth Of July
thets the time to crow--but old JOHNNY
Bull had better mind how he steps
over our hemisphere. Tho old rebs
have had their disabilities removed
and they haven't forgotten how Eng
land troated us thirty-three years ago.
predicted that Congress would turn
our boys loose just as soon as war was
threatened. That was nice, wasn't it ?
SO generous, so magnanimous. Aiter
waiting thirty long yoars they did i,
Ia a day without debate. We didn',
ask IL and they showed 1t on us. Sher.
man, Tom Reed & Co. got together
the night after Mr.. CleVeland's wal