The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-05-16
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POINTS ABOUT VISITING.
How to Make the Visitor Thorough
Comfortable.

Comfortable.
"I always like to have Mrs. Y. come
to the house, and often invite her even
when L have been o~crrun with com
pany, and this because she is what ]
call the restful guest" said a woman
whose country house is Il fayorite resort
of a very large circle of friends
Il have, as you know" h continued,
"a very extensive acquaintance, and am
fond of entertaining, but there is such a
difference in people! Last year l had
with me, for two weeks, one of the
sweetest little women | ever knew, in
some respects, but it was necessary to
adjust her every day, so to speak. She
was extremely primitive in some of her
notions and aWfully prim in others.
Her principles were e~Xtravagantly high,
all right, of course, and proper, but she
exploded them, as it were, at many in
convenient times. While she was in the
house 1 felt it my duty to keep an eye
on her continually, not that she did any
thing dreadful, but, out of certain lines,
she was wholly destitute of tact. In b
first place, she was very fond of rising
early. At the time of her first visit,
on the morning after er-arrival, h
was downstairs at least an hour before
breakfast was ready. She found the
maids sweeping and busting, the man
was beating the rugs and there was q
general housc-cleaning time going on.
Having no rest for the soul of her foot
in the regions below, she tIipped up
stairs, put on her hat and wrap and
walked up and down on the porches
lntil she was warned by preparations
that sweeping there would be next in
order. Then she meandered up and
down II gravel walks. When break
fast was announced and she came in,
she told me in the sweetest possible
way, but with just the least little ac-
cent of r~eproach, that she had been
downstairs for over an hour.
"Of course, the maids were more or
less uncomfortable, thinking that she
might be annoyed by what was actually
necessary to be done. OF this, however,
she seemed utterly oblivious. During
breakfast she repeated the statement
thut she had been downstairs something
more than an hour. A rather uncom
Portable silence was averted by n very
witty guest, who always jumps into
every social breach of this sort with
some bright remark that puts every
body in good humor.
THAT was a sample of that visit I
could but notice the contrast between
her manner and management and those
of Mrs. ", who slips into the domestic
grooves of an establishment as though
she were BORN and made for the place.
She makes her appearance in the morn
ing at precisely the right moment, she
disappears as if by magic when any
thing occurs that makes her absence de
sirable, and, best of all, she will take a
whole roomful of guests with her, and
entertain them 81 gIaciously and manage
them SO beautifully that they haven't
the slightest idea that they are either
carried off or managed at all. There
is no wonder that Mrs. y. has more in
ritations than she can possibly accept,
and that she is n welcome guest every
where.
One of the disagreeable features of
entertaining, especially young persons
or those unaccustomed to going about
very much. is that they seem to expect
to be amused and looked after. Those
people who have no resources of their
own, and are compelled to rely solely
on others for mental occupation, are
most unfortunate, and, as guests, are
not without serious objections.
Every child should be taught from
its earliest years a certain AMOUNT of
self-indePendence, and should be
brought up with the idea hat it must
never become u tax on others for occu-
patton during its leisure hours. If this
could be done, visiting and receiving
guests would be a much more agreeable
affair than it often is at present.
1T is incumbent on a hostess to pro-
vide n certain amount of pleasant read
ing, and if one has u well-stocked Ii
brary, certain works that interest the
guest may be placed in her apartment.
There are varying opinions OF just
how far the hostess is under obligations
to look after those who are enjoying her
hospitality; but, all things being equal,
guests will find themselves much more
welcome and everything much more
agreeable if they form a habit of self
reliance and self-amusement. One may
easily go out for u walk or on an errand
by herself and seek the time to do this
when the mistress of the house is occu-
pied by her domestic affairs.
"A dependent visitor, N who is I'M
able to go about herself, and who fancies
that h is neglected if she is not con-
tinually looked after, is not the most
welcome addition to a party, especially
in a country houSc."-N. Y. Ledger.