The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-07-10
A SCIENTIFIC LINE.

brains mas has the more dlillcult IL Is
for him to catch fish or to learn languages.
You take q child and put him in
French school, and in six months he Will
speak French like a native, whereas the
bla,inicst man in England might work ut
French for six years, and even then he
would not speak it well.
As for fishing, the best fisherman l ever
knew was a half wittcd darby boy. He
could catch more fish in an hour than any
six of the leading citizens of New Berlin
opolisville could catch in day.
There was my old friend and neighbor,
Professor Van Wagner He was in some
respects the ablcst scientific man l ever
met, but he never caught fish in his
life except an occasional minnOw.
Speaking of fishing reminds me of the
electrical fishing line that Professor Van
Wagner invented. He and had been
fishing one day, and neither of lis had
caught anything worth speaking Of On
our way home Van Wagner says to me
The reason why we don't catch any
fish is tho grossly unscicntific way in
which we go about it. When fish gets
on my hook, l always lose him before
can get him out of the water. Now, If /
had n metallic line connected with a small
battery and could give the fish shock
the moment he took the hook in his
mouth, l could land him without the
least trouble"
Very likely you could" said 1. But
where would bo the sport of playing the
fish,"
Il don't care anything for sport, " re-
plicd the professor when / go fishing,
want to catch something, and ten you
right here that I'm going to invent an APP
paratus that will catch fish every time.
Ii was betting man, l wouldn't mind
betting you that the first time / go fishing
with my scientific apparatus I'll make the
biggest catch that has ever been known
in the state of Illinois"
And so he did, though it wasn't just
the sort of catch that he wanted to make
About week later Van Wagner called
me over to his house, which was next door
to mine, and showed me what no had
done He had a fishing rod, with a long
line fastened to it, made of thin, flexible,
braided wire. Instead of n reel he had q
small battery attached to tho rod, and by
Pressing button with his thumb he could
send current through the line which
would astonish any fish that it might
happen to hit.
He had about half n dozen hooks fasten-
cd to his line, and he explained to mo that
If these hooks were baited properly he
would be sure of catching half "a dozen
trout ut once.
The line was as flexible as q silk line,
but it was about us strong as n ships ca
BILE. Nun Wagner showed me that you
couldn't break 1t either by pulling or
twisting, and that 1t would turn the edge
of any knife that you might try to cut it
with.
Van Wagner wanted mo to go to the
nearest trout stream with him and try the
new apparatus, but l declined. l knew
that he wouldn't succeed in catching any
fish, and that he would naturally be disap-
pointed and express himself in scientific
language that might not be so easy to bear.
He was good man, but when things
went wrong with him he would use scicn-
tifc terms In u way that was about four
times rs irritating as any ordinary IN
scientific cursing would have been.
The nearest place for trout fishing was
pool about two miles from where tho
professor lived and about O mile from any
house.
had told Van Wagner about this pool,
for it was the place where had once lost
the biggest trout / ever hooked, but
hadn't told him that tho pool was the
property of Deacon Sammis and that the
deacon wouldn't allow any man to fish
there without paying for the privilege.
1t SO happened that Deacon SamInis WAS
away from home that day, and the profess
Or went to the trout pool and baitcd his
hooks-for he never tried to fish with flies
and sat down Oh the bank and started
In to fish without being intcrfcred with
Mrs. Sammis, however, had seen him
crossing the field with his rod and basket
and being a woman who looked sharply
after the family interests she resolved TO
go down to the pool and tell the professor
that he must either pay or leave
Mrs. Snmmis was n young woman, be-
ing the dcacon's third wife and a remark
ably good looking woman.
When sho came behind the professor
and said, No trespassing allowed here,
sir! You can't fish in this pool unless you
pay SIS flrstr' he looked up at her and ex-
claimed: Bless my SOUL Whas n pretty
womanr'
He didn't mean anything by it, having
sort OF habit of talking out loud to him
self, but it had its OBJECT upon Mrs Sam
mis- all the same. She knew what the pro-
fossor was and was mighty pleased to be
Complimcntcd by so distinguished n man.
So she said: Il didn't know it was you,
professor or course you're welcome to
fish here as much as you please. My hus-
band says there's no danger of your Catch
ing anything
Mrs Sammis vas an Intelligent woman,
and she was u good deal interested In the
electric fishing line. She drew pretty close
to the professor while he was explaining
the battery to her, and she said that She
did hope no would catch something, just
- show how the battery would work.
All Of n sudden 1, big trout jumped
clean out of the water This excited Van
Wagner, and he started to throw his lire
just over tho place where the trout had
jumped, making sure that the fish was
waiting for him.
Now Van Wagner knew no more about
casting n line than a baby knows. He
swung the hooks over his head till they
Rested on the grass behind him, and then
he tried to fling them back into the pool,
with about rs much Judgment and delicacy
III If he had been working with u fail
The result was that one hook caught
Mrs. Salnmis in the upper part of the right
ear and another caught the professor In
the napc of the neck, and there they We're
fastened to one another by IL bit Of line
about n foot long that couldn't be cut ex-
cept by the finest sort of steel file.
OF course Mrs. Sammis gave u scream
%hen the hook went into her ear, and
what with that and the pain in the back
of his own neck the professor lost his pres
ence of mind and accidentally pressed the
button of the battery
This brought another shrek from Mrs
Sammis, for there are few things more
Startling than good, smart electric shock
1t was foolish In him to try to break
the line, knowing as he did that it was
much too strong to DO broken, but for all
that no did try to break 1t and in tho proc
ess pulled Mt Mrs. Samniis' ear till she
burst out crying and begged him to let her
die where she was
He took up the rod again very carefully
and succeeded in christening the line.
Then he coiled up the line into tight lit
tie ball so that 1t couldn't trail on the
ground or catch in anything.
Mrs. Sammis cried a little longer, and
then she stopped and said that the sooner
they saw the doctor the better, and she
did hope that the deacon wouldn't get
home until she and the professor had been
cut loose
You see, the deacon, though he was one
of TIE best of men, was little hasty in
his temper, and two or three times he had
shot man under circumstances that really
didn't call for any such energetic action,
as he aftorward admitted himself Z
Well, the professor and Mrs. Sammis set
out for the doct9E.a which YES EQ2d