The Van Buren press., 1896-01-25
ARP'S RESPECTS TO WALES.
lie Like the English, but Says Something
about Their Ideas of Humor.

humor at the expense of England and
English people. l had no thought OF
being sarcastic, for have great admira-
tion and even reverence for old England.
In the first place the English are our
ancestors and the solidity and stability
of their form of government sometimes
makes me doubt whether there is any
better. We had little rupture in the
family 100 years ago, and King George
~. played the fool, but the Chathams
and many other noble men were our
friends. From England we have in
herited the highest types of art and lit
erature, and England is today the fore
most nation in the spread Of Christian
ity and Christian civilization in heathen
countries. Progressive as we are in art
and culture we have not yet produced
such men as Milton and Bacon and
Shakespeare and the johnson and Cow
per and Gray and Byron and Charles
Lamb and host of others. Then there
was Newton and Sir Christopher Wrenn
and Reynolds and Garrick and Mrs.
Hemans and Hannah Moore. A man
who would make wanton sport of Eng
land is an unread idiot-why, If | was
an English subject l would stand up to
my country and my queen out Of love
and reverence for her if for nothing
else. | remember we'll when the crown
was placed upon her head in 1887 and
when she was married in 1910, and all
these long years she has been an ex-
ample of love and virtue and toleration
to her people,
An Englishman who says he has been
living in our country for many years
writes to me and complains that | have
written hard and insulting about Eng
land. He says that "a nation should
not be stamped as ignorant if nineteen
out of twenty had never heard of AT.
lanta. The British empire is people by
every race, speaking every tongue, pro-
Tossing every religion, and ought to be
excused if they do not know the loca-
tion of American towns from which
your protective tariff excludes our
goods" He says, 81 have never seen in
an American paper frank, manly word
of commendation for England or any
thing English, and I am sorry that
you of all men should join the crowd of
howlers. Would it not be we'll for some
of you to come over and rediscover
Great Britain and cease teaching your
children those bloody-shirt tales of the
revolution? | was ignorant of the real
history of Bunker's Hill until | went
and saw the play of The Patriots.
had always read that the British techni-
cally won that battle, but when at the
theater / saw six British soldiers over
come by the entire corps de ballet, | un-
derstand why they put a monument on
the hill. l have always supposed that
all mulattoes were thirty years old,
dating their birth from Sherman's s
march through Georgia, but l am not
sure that l am right about that. Let us
all mutually correct our errors"
Well, that is funny-funny to Ameri-
cans. never intended anything but
good joke on Englishmen when
wrote about their ignorance about At
lanta and Grady and the Liberty Bell
and Booker Washington, all of which
was taken from the London Daily Views,
but it seems that Professor Boyesen was
| right when he said in the last North
American Review that an Englishman
can't take joke. He says that they
arc the most serious people in the
world, and that Americans are the mos
jocular; that no American humorists are
| appreciated over there at all except
Bret Harte, and that it even strains al
| Englishman to understand Mark Twain's
| Jokes. He asked one of their best reac
men If be did not like Mark Twain.
story of the jumping frog and he said
"Well, no. | don't see anything funny
in it, and if did the pain given to the
poor frog by loading him up with sho
would paralyze all the humor that wal
in it," This reminds me of Chauncel
Depew who, while crossing the Atlantic
with an Englishman, told him all sort
of funny stories, and not being able t.
provoke smile, said: "Well, dom
believe you could see joke unless i
was shot into you with a gun" Tn,
Englishman still looked serious ant
said: Can you shoot jokes out OF
gun?"
We had one over here two years ag,
who did not believe it possible for ne
gro to steal. In course of time his maj
servant stole his pants and shirt ant
some socks and was arrested and tn
things restored. Even then he though
there was a mistake about it and tina
seme white man stole them. l wante
to take him out and kick him for his un
belief. He was determined to defen
the darky.
A year or so ago the London Glob
had an article about Buffalo Bill whic
ran as follows:
The cablegrams announce that Col
Cody, who will be remembered in Lon
don, has been returned as mayor of Ne
braska. No better selection could hav
been made. Col Cody was the friend c
man named Boone who discovere
Kentucky. He married the grand
daughter of Sitting Bullfrog. lie wa
twice the governor of Chicago and a
one time was mayor of Arkansaw. II
served in the Confederate army unde
Gen. Butler, who so gallantly defende
New Orleans against Gen. Longstreei
He introduced bill in congress for th
} relief of the citizens OF Buffalo, an
thereby got his name Of Buffalo Bill