The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1896-03-19
BABY'S OPINION OF PAPA
A Couple Of Columns Of Humorous and
Sentimental Stories.
INTERESTING TALES FOR EVERYBODY
How Baby IL Viewed By Various
Epigrammists-Liq Smiles and
Fresh-water Jokcs-shert HUM
orous Paragraphs.

HO"t "bS WhOhN tatok 50 usih " ..-y nstA W
mel Where hail from, where / am
going to, or what want here at all, Is q
big puzzle to me. I'm evidently for
eigner, for everybody tries different Ian
gusges with me, and don't understand
one Of them.
Now, like mother. She feeds and
dresses and washes me; and though I
don't quite appreciate the latter part of
the business, as she washes the other
children l suppose its all right. But there
is too much kissing and dandling aud
shaking, and all that sort Of thing, to suit
me, although it seems to please her.
Yes. l can understand mother, and the
nurse, and the children who call me their
little brother (whatever that isl but what
really gets over me is great, hairy-faced,
loud-voiced fellow, who comes ..ere every
night and stays till the morning and all
day on Sundays, and whom they call my
father.
Pm sure don't think much OF him,
and don't see where he comes in at all. /
know one thing: he takes me up some
times, and mother calls out: "Oh,
George, do be CAREFUL" and then, while
he handles me as awkwardly as an ele-
plant would wheel-barrow, he rubs his
stiff whiskers into my eyes and mouth till
cry again. often wonder what's his
business here! Sometimes he taxes q
great round thing out of his pocket and
puts it to my ear and says: "Ticky,
ticky!" don't think he is quite right in
his head! Then he'll grin all over his
face like great monkey, and snap bis
fingers and thumb in my face What he
does it for is best known to himself;
know sometimes he looks 30 awful
Though believe he does it to please me)
that he quite frightens me, and then
mother says: "Ohl don't, George; the
little darling doesn't like itp'
Like it, shouldn't think did
But the funniest thing about 1t is when
am out Of sorts and can't sleep at night,
and mother says, "Oh! George, do walk
the pet CHATS me, about the room bit. I"
And then George trots me about in his
night-shirt and says in his silly way, Ego
asleepy, ducky! Ketchy, ketchyp' And
then he growls to himself, "Drat the
kidd" and mother says, what did you
say, George?" and then he says, 81
think the darling wants his bottle, love p
Then he pinches me, and cry out till
mother takes me back again. when he
gets into bed with grin.
But can't bear that George. for often
when mothers not looking he makes
faces at me, and mother says: whats
the matter dear?'' And then he pats my
face with his great ugly fingess, and pre-
tends to be very fond OF me.
Now, / can understand mother and the
nurse, and the children kissing me, be-
cause their faces are soft and smooth, but
I don't understand George, with his
great hairy face kissing me, and how
mother can like it, can't see. At any
rate know don't.
Then, what's he doing all day? He
comes home at night, and they all run
and get bis slippers and his tea, and seem
to make as much bother over him as il
the place belonged to him. Then ne puts
a funny thing in bis mouth, and puffs
smoke out Of it and fills the place till II
makes me cough, and then neither says
"Oh George. you'll kill the dear" and
he says: Hang the kid! one can't do
any thing for i'll" And then mother cries
and cuddles me up and walks off to bed
with me.
don't know who he is, or what he's
got to do with it, but don't like George