davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

1 IL. .
| Daily Daily except Sunday.
| "a" Stops to leave passengers from Whining
| ton and points north, or take passeneers for
points south Of Delmar.
or on signal.
't' Stops to leave passengers from Middle
town and points south
TT Stops to let off passengers from, noints
south of Harrington.
/ NEW CASTLE ACCOMMODATION TRAIEs.-Ieaye
wilmington w l2l0 q. m. and 9.5l M, daily
daSs S li1o; avs a; m Ns SSo & 70 Is e5s week
M, daily. s.3l, 9.45, 1.O7 a M, Lis, 536 8Xp
7zz p. M, weekdays.
Express trains leaving Harrington sos a. M.
throu1b anr aJb1iving sn1i at IS - p m weekdays
and Newark.
BRANCH ROADS.
DELAWARE, MARYLAND 4 VIRGINIA R. R.
Leave Harrington for Franklin City and way
Thursdays and Saturdays only, Returninc
train leaves Franklin City 5.52 a. M. weekdays.
LII l.a1 m tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays
Leave Franklin City for Chincoteaeue fvia
steamer LAB p. M, weekdays Returning,
leave Chincoteague AZ a. M, weekdays.
Leave Harrington for Georgetown and Lewes
~ 7ad. auI q. m. 6;2S p. M weekdays Returning,
leave Lewes6 As a. n., 8 20 p. M. weekdays,
Leave Harrington for Berlin, 1887 a. m. week.
Saturdays only. Returning, leave Berlin s.59
only. anu
QUEEN ANNE KENT r. R.-Leave Townsend
Tor Centreville and way stations 20 a. M, and
$50 p; m. week days. Returning. leave Centre
vile. .7Sl a. M. and 80 p. M, weekdays
DELAWARE CHESAPEAKE R. R.-Leave Clay
lon Tor oxford and way stations 3.3s a. M. and
o.40 p M, week days. Returning leave Oxford
500 a. M, and 40 p. m, weekdays.
CAMBRIDGE & SEAFoRD R. k-Leaye seaford
Ior cambridge and intermediate stations lIl5a
M, week days, and on Tuesdays, Thursdays and
ssIurdays !, s 7.oo p m. Returning, leave Cambridge
Q ~ a. m weekdays and 2.47 fp m. Tuesdays.
Thursdays and SATURDAYS
CoNNEcTIoN-At Porter, with Newark and
Delaware City Railroad At Townsend, with
Queen Anne's & Kent Railroad. At Clayton.
with Delaware Chesapeake Railroad and
baltimore 4 Delaware Bay railroad At Har-
rington, with Delaware. Maryland & Virginia
4 railroad AtSeaford with Cambridge Seaford
Railroad: AT Delmar, with New York. Phila-
1eiphla = Norfolk. Wicomico & Pocomoke. and
s. M. PROVOST. General Manager.
J. &. WOOD, General Passenger Agent.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
b. & O. Railroad.
Schedule in effect Mar. Is. 1sse.

Schedule in effect Mar Is, 1895.
TRAINS LEAVE DELAWARE AvENIJE
WILMINGTON DEPOT EAST BOUND.
sExpress trains,
All trains illumi mated with Pintscb Iiob+
to Is a. M il22l t25s, i5sa 3d. III til D. ,s,n m
New tsss xsFk !, 3 sssuqasys q9 q tso 1ss fiji
Philadelphia, Twenty-Fonrth and obestnu,
Streets, week,da ys, taos. 5.55, 6.4O, t7.15, 80
f1tS, saS,, e tts.S9' ~ ts;ss, Iio2S li2o m
1000, tll.00 p. m. f''''' -
Sundays %l, sss "a tsos - go $50 ., tsas tI1ss
8 Is, loco, tll.0O, p. m IA 's' ''''-' vow t''''
s sshssstsr s @ @ysshsayS ssy isS ts ans sss ,xsa &c. s
is50 1S t5s $50 7ss, 25io, i'll p PM NJ. '11s'
! i lsssasSs y a. 2s sss i s ts So S.
4 atlantic City. weekdays, t715, a. M, t12a
| 2.29, p. M, Sundays, " so q. M
Cape May, weekdays, M, t22, pm
WEST BOUND.
Baltimore and Washington, weekdays, Il, 20.
is iCE "a lStS ss 5ta1s ~ a. m s2 TO- 2
Baltimore and way stations, daily S.os, a a. m. m.
ii Nswa1l S s'n 1Is Rs We sxsstdsys 2 zS
HE ll5 2 p; i N; Sundays, tao. 76 ls.iS a. M.
So1, 41.ocs I.uC, loUU 4S.l0,p m.
= Pittsburg, weekdays, 1913, a. m, rs I3 o M
Sundays f8 48 M, "a So IN.
Chicago, daily, t8.48, a. M, t4.5S, p. M.
Cincinnati and st. Louis, daily ti255, and
tells, p. m. $500
New Orleans and Memphis via Bristol and
Cnattanooga, 1913 p. m. week days; *4.5S pm.
sundays. Through sleepers Washington to
Memphis and New Orleans
S1ngeriy accom- modation, week days 7O2.
a. M, 254, 705and 1l.I2, D. m:
Sundays, T.02 m; 2.54, 7.05 pm.
Landenburg accommodation, weekdays.
7;02. 1917 a. M, 254 4.58 p. M. Sundays,
10 90, a. M, 4.58, p. m.
Leave Market Street Station
New York, weekdays, *6 so m,
Philadelphia, weekdays, IS so, q M, 2 as nm
Baltimore, weekdays, $50, a. M, t2.5O p M
Landenburg and way stations, week days,
$50 10 2, a. M, 2 so, $40. p. M. Sundays, 9.56,
Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut streets
Station for Wilmington, weekdays, t3,10. 8.
l.36 150, 2.45, g. 80, 40, *4SO, 1918 fbl4 an
$50, f7.25, t840 l0.10, 11.35, p. m.
:, su1daNXs 3Sa x re- 2 tsla 200, I.so. 9.
E11Esi TsIeSho,ne ssiao, ae'1sSii.sS' I$ p. m.
:. Rates to Western points lower than via any
J. Q: scULL. General Passenger Agent
y. M. GREENE. General Manager. sa
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
Plant Food For veeetablee.

For the early vegetables use your
composted manure. 1t will give quicker
results than unfermented manure. Manv
market gardeners claim that nitrate Of
SODA. in which arsilable nitrogen is al
ways ready Tor usu. is enough better and
quicker to more than pay its increased
COST. Ii gives the plants an early start.
and when applied with stable manure ii
greatly hastens its decomposition.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
A Golden KEY,
A Golden Key,
"What is that which should turn to- light

"What is that which should turn to, light
ing upon days like these?
Every door Is barred with gold, and opens
but to golden keys"
The golden key, to which those who desire
to open the door Of health, should turn to in
days like these, is DR.. Pierce's Golden Med
ical Discovery. The poor mans pence can
procure it. The rich mans millions can buy
nothing better.
Mrs. NEAL, of Crockett Mills. Tenn, had
an attack of measles, which was followed by
bronchitis and pneumonia. Her husband
writes: 81 feel grati1ed with the effect of
your wonderful medicine can recommend
1t to anybody, and feel am doing them JUS
tice. My " ife was not able to perform her
household duties for six months. She has
used two bottles Of Golden Medical Discovery,
and is now able to do all her work. I think
1t the finest medicine in the world, and am
gratefully, your lifelong friend.
Yours sincerely, J.B. Neal"
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

Two young clergymen were engaged
in warm dispute over some deep theo-
logical question, and finally raised
their voices till they disturbed dog
that had been lying by the fire sleeping
soundly. Thus suddenly wakened. the
dog began barking loudly. At this an
old preacher, who sat at the table sip
ping his tea, turned and kicked the dog.
"Be stilll'' said he. "What have you
to say about it, you silly brutep You
know no more about it than they do.n
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
My heart leaps up when Ibehold
A flower ever so rare;
So was it when my life began;
Sots it now I am a man;
80 let it be when I am old,
Or let me die!

-WOTUSUOTEt.
What man with heart would not feel his
heart leap on beholding roses blooming anew
IN his wife's cheeks? No true man likes to
see in his wife sallow complexion, dull eye
and all the ills attendant upon the Irregular
tiles and weaknesses" peculiar to the sex.
Happily these can be banished, and the roses
be ensured by the use of DIR. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription. For nursing mothers or those
about to become mothers tits priceless boon.
It lessons the pains and perils of childbirth,
shortens labor, promotes the secretions Of an
abundance of nourishment for the child, and
shortens the period Of confinement.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

Teacher-Tommy, you may define
the difference between a while and a
time.
Tommy-Wy-wy- when paw says he
is going down town for while NAV
says she'll bet he is going for time.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

De Jones 4 hear that you're going
to marry Miss Smith. Congratulate
you on your good taste.
Brown-Oh, mol that's all off. Not
goii TO marry a all.
De Jones-Congratnlats you on your
good tas.r.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

First Farmer: "Has the lawsuit be-
tween you and Heysede been settled?,
Second Farmer: "Yes; and 50 are
the lawyers" "How do you mean?'
They're settled on our farms.n
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
PINEOLA COUGH BALSAN

seated cough, often aggravated by catarrh.
For catarrh use Ely's Cream Balm.
Both remedies are pleasant to use. Cream
Balm, Soc. per bottle; Pineola Balsam, 25c. at
Druggists. In quantities of so so will deliver
on receipt of amount.
ELY BBoTHERs, So Warren St., NY
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
iddIetown Directory.
MUNICIPAL oFFIcERs


President-G. w. w. Naudain; Secretary,
Howell. Geo. v beverley
s.sss BANKS
Peoples National Bank.-President, G.. w,
w Naudain; Cashier, Geo. d. Kelley; Teller.
W. G. Lockwood. Bank Building on East
Main Street.
Citizens National Bank.-President, Joseph
Biggs; Cashier, John 8. Crouch; Teller, r.
Darlington. Bank Building on South Broad
Street.
SECRET SOCIETIES.
Middletown Council, No. 2, Jr. O. U. A. M.
Hall at O'Clock.
Union Lodge, No. 5, A. F. q A. M. Meets
first Tuesday Of each month in Town Hall.
Good Samaritan Lodge, No. 8, /. o. o. r.
Meets every Thursday night in McWhorter's
Hall at O'Clock.
Damon Lodge, No. IL, K. Of p. Meets every
Wednesday night in McWhoraers Hall at
So'clock.
Major John Jones Post, No. q, g. A. R.
Meets every Friday night in Reynolds Build
Welcome Conclave Heptasophs. Meets
every second and fourth Friday night in K.
Union Lodge, No. 6, A.o.U.W., meets every
ID and 4th Tuesday night in McWhorter's
Hall.
Lord Delaware Circle, no. 16, Brotherhood
of the Union. Meets lst and 3D. Friday, Nc
Whorter's Hall at Sp. m.
LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS.
Volunteer Hose Company, meets first FRI
day night of each month in Hose House.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
[ Consumption

W. f AND Tre = CuHD
To THE EDITOR ~ have an absolute
remedy for Consumption. BY its timely use
thousands OF hopeless cases have been already
permanently cured. So proof-positive am I
OF its power that consider It my duty to
ssnd tro bottles fSss to those Of your readers
who have Consumption, Throat, Bronchial or
Lung Trouble, if they win write me thelr
express and postofice address. Sincerely,
Z. 4. loCUM n. c., Is3 Pear1 g., New Yerk.
Uar The Editorial and Business ManAeSment of
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

We aim to, and do, give you
the best and most original de-
signs, independent of all other
dealers, as it costs no more to
have the latest and best de-
signs, which is greatly to your
interest. Estimates furnished
on application and visits made
to the country upon noti6ca-
ton.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
r&,r THE CULTIvATOR I2n6
AND
COUNTRY GENTLErIEN
THE BEST OF THE
....ARI gu TURA E11FlEs....
: -
DEVOTED TO

Farm Crops ana Processes,
Horticulture and Fruit Growing,
livestock and Dairying,
While it also includes all minor departments
of rural interest, such as the Poultry Yard,
Entomology, Bee-Keeping, Greenhouse and
Grapery, Veterinary Replies, Farm Questions
and Answers, Fireside Reading, Domestic
Economy and summary of the News Of the
Week. Its Market Reports are unusually
complete, and much attention is paid to the
Prospects Of the Crops, as throwing light
upon one of the most important Of all ques-
tions- When to baty and aohen to sell. 1t is lib
orally illustrated, and contains more reading
matter than ever before. The subscription
price is $3.50 per year, but we offer SPECIAL
REDUCTION in our
CLUB RATES FOR 1896
Two Subscriptions, in one remittance. 50
Six 10
Ten ID
ASTo all new subscribers for 1895, paying in
advance now, we will send the paper weekly
from our receipt of the remittance, to Janu
ary LIST, 1895, without charge.
A@Specimen copies free. Address
TUCKER & SON, Pubs,
ALBANY, N. Y.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
G RATEFUL-coMFORT1NG.
EPPS'S COCOA
RREAKFAsT-suPpER

hBy thorough knowledge of the natural
tion and nutrition, and by careful applica-
tion OF the fine properties of well-selected
Cocoa, Mr.. Epps has provided for our break
fast and supper q delfcately favored beverage
It Ia by the judicious use of such articles of
diet that a constitution may be gradually
built up until strong enought resist every
aIsafes yaHe1 are oatina aronnd ns readv ID to at
tack wherever there is a weak point. We
may escape many q fatal shaft by keeping
ourselves well fortified with pure blood and
4 properly nourished frame.n-CiUil Service
Gaze lie, Made simply with boiling water or
milk. Sold only in halfpound tins, by Gro
GERS, labelled thus:
JAMES EPPS q Coz Ltd, homeopathic
Chemist, London. England.
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

1S00. III Il SUN. 1876
BALTIMORE, MD.
THE PAPER OF THE PEOPLE,
For THE PEOPLE AND WITH THE PEOPLE
Honest in Motive.
Fearless in Expression.
Sound in Principle.
Unswerving in its Allegiance to
Right Theories and
Right Practices.
THE SUN publishes all the news all the
time, but it does not allow its columns to be
degraded by unclean, immoral or purely sen.
sational matter.
Editorially, The SUN Is the consistent and
unchanging champion and defender of popu.
lar rights and interests against political
machines and monopolies of every character.
Independent in all things, extreme In none.
1t is for good laws, good government and
good order.
By mail Fifty Cents month, Six Dollars a
year.
The Baltimore Weekly Sun.
The WEEKLY Sun pu ,lishes all the news
Of each week, giving complete accounts Of
all events of interest throughout the world.
AS an Agricultural paper The WEEKLY SUN
is unsurpassed. 1t is edited by writers Of
practical experience, who know what farm
ing means and what farmers want In an
agricultural journal. It contains regular
reports Of the work of the Agricultural ex-
pertinent stations throughout the country, Of
the proceedings of farmers clubs and In
stitutes, and the discussion of new methods
and ideas in agriculture. Its Market Reports,
Poultry Department and Veterinary column
are particularly valuable to country readers.
Every issue contains stories, poems, house
hold and puzzle Columns, variety Of in
structive selected matter and other features,
which make 1t welcome visitor In city and
country homes alike.
One dollar year. Inducements to getters-
up of club for the Weekly Sun. Both the
Daily and Weekly Sun mailed free Of postage
N the United States, Canada and Mexico. |
Payment invariably In advance. Address
A. 8. ABELL COMPANY,
Publishers and Proprietors,
Baltimore, Nd. |
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04

President-G. w. w. Naudain; Secretary
W. 8. LetherbuTy; 8. 8. Holten, Charles a
Howell, Geo. " beverley
Middletown transcript., 1896-04-04
CAPITAL. $500 10000.
Surplus and Profits sI21.l70. 90
SecurityTrust and Safe Deposit
Company.
6l9 MARKET ST, WILMINGTON, DEL.

Company,
5l9 MARKET ST., WILMINGTON. DEL.
MONEY UNEMPLOYED or waiting invest
ment can & be made to earn you Interest If de-
posted with this company.
INTEREST PAID on deposits Of money as
follows per cent. on deposits payable on de-
| mand, by check, same as banks; A per cent.
on deposits payable after 10 days, notice; per
cent on deposits payable after 80 days notice.
Special rates for large sums to remain for q
year or longer.
Of Ladies, also to those Of Executors, Admin
istrators, Trustees, Guardians, and Receivers,
The Company acts by authority Of law as
Executor, Administrator, Guardian, Receiver
and Agent, and executes trusts Of every des-
cription.
Correspondence solicited and full informa-
Company's business. Satisfaction ouaranteed.
Send for pamphlet.
BENZ. NIELDS, JAS 3. CLARKsoN
WIN; s:aSst s sRHtNckLE JOHN y'sa' s. kessEL1, ssf
Vice-Pres. Trust Officer.
B,fsa BENJAMIN pI Nieids, Jos; b; Chandler, MD.
James A. Hart William M. Field.
Henry =; Dure, Charles 2. Fritz,
VIM. ]. McClary, VIM. r. Brinckle.
Jonn y; Iatum, Samuel G. Simmons,
Jonn Fiihng. may.lly
g. w. INGRAM, g. M. ENOS |
Middletown. Odessa.
Ingram & Enos,
AUcTIoNEERS.
Are prepared to call sales Of Real Estate
Personal Property, &C., and guarantee to give
abstraction.
Call on or address, for terms, &C., either.
All business viii receive prompt attention
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
TO BE CONTINUED }.
FROM AUNT ORA.

SHAwsvILLE, N. c..
DEAR SIS ERs:-I will come again,
but will not say much about political
aff4irs this time. But don't think I am
not interested, as I am very much 80
as the coming election approaches. But
hope all may yet be well, and that our
dear country may be saved from ruin.
Let the prayer of us all be that God in
his advise providence will fill our Con
gress with God loving, and God-fear
ing men-men who are honest and
love their country and freedom more
than glittering gold. Then and not IN
til then, will we be blessed with a good
government Death is a solemn thing,
and I sometimes wonder how some
men can heap SO many wrongs or their
fellow beings, when they know they
are surely bound to die, and then they
will have to give an account of all their
wrong doings Deaths cold icy hand
has recently been in our midst, and
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
From Guilford County.

HIGH POINT, N. @.
Nh. EditOr:-Having seen a great
many letters from the boys and girls
[ thought would write you a line. I
live on a farm and love to read the
young folks letters in The PROGRESSIVE
FARMER I am getting up a collection
OF cancelled postage stamps. If any
IF the Cousins have y. s. or Confeder.
ate stamps or Confederate money that
they would like toexchange for foreign
stamps I would be pleased to hear from
them. I will close by saying success
to The PROGRESSIVE FARMER, it's kind
and noble editor, and all it's host of ad-
miring friends. G. D. DAVIS.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29

taken away a good and noble man.
And as I sat in church, and saw the
alter draped in mourning, | thought
what q good man DIR Mclean was, and
how sadly he will be missed. As an
elder in his church. he etrived hard to
do his duty. How often has it been
u pleasure TO listen to his voice as it
was lifted Heavenward in earnest
prayer. His seat was seldom ever va
cam at the house of worship. In the
sick room he was kind, and attentive,
to many he seemed as a fathar. But
the Good Shepherd knows when is best
to call home His own. H9 is gone as
many others, and never to return. But
we have the blessed privilege Of meet
ing u loved on,s again beyond the
glorious sunset of life. Then let US try
summons us up higher and to be recon
ciled to the will of Him who gave us
our loved ones and submit gently to
HIS will in all things. Furthermore,
let us try to train those little ones, He
has given us, to fill the places Of the
aged in our churches as they are fast
disappearing. So many young men of
the present day seem to care 80 little
for the building up of our churches.
How seldom we ever hear young man
lead in public prayer. Il they don't
wake up to a sense of their duty what
will become of u churches in a few
years, when the old men are all gone.
Let us hope the young men and girls
too, may take a live interest in religion
and the building up of churches.
AUNT ORA.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
From Nash County.

Rocky MOUNT, N. Q.
Mr. EditOr:-Please allow me a space
in your paper to write a very short let
ter. My brother Henry takes your ex-
cellent paper. I like to read it very
much, especially the young folks col
umn. I am q farmers daughter. Is
years old. I have three brothers three
sisters. I am the youngest girl. / like
to help my mamma cook, wash dishes,
etc. I will az S yer Willie Dcz:er's ques-
ton. What is it that occurs once in a
minute, twice in a moment, and not
once in a hundred years. 1t is the let
ter IN" | will also answer George
Fishers question. What ship carries
the most passengers2 Courtship. Why
do girls like to look at the moon9 Be-
cause there is a man in it. I will close
By asking a question. What was the
longest day of Adams life9 Wishing
you much success.
Your friend,
DAmTTm pArrcy
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
Bad Crops.
BAHAMA. n. @.

BAHAMA, N, Q.
Mr.. EditOr:-WIl you please allow
a Durham county girl a space in your
valuable paper? Papa takes your pa
per and says it is the best paper print
ed. l, too, like it very much and think
the young folks column is improving.
I enjoy the questions and answers, es-
pecially those on history, as I am fond
of history. Will some one tell me what
Vice President took the oath of office
two days before the Pcesident2 I think
| have seen the question in history, but
have never been able to find the an.
swer. The crops are not very good in
this neighborhood, the wheat was in
jured by the wet weather. Papa
thinks that provisions will be scarce in
this section next year. We can only
hope for the best and rest assured that
the Lord will provide. ! will close for
this time. Success to The PROGRESSIVE
FARMER. Respectfully,
MARION.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
From Wake County.

M~ORRIsvILLE, N. @.
Mr.. EditOr:-Wil you allow a little
boy - years of age to join the young
folks column2 Papa takes your paper
and likes it very we'll. He Is a farmer
and our crop is mostly corn, tobacco,
peas and potatoes, and it Is all cut very
short by the dry weather. I help ma
ma to do very many things such as
milking, etc, though I have two sis
ters older than l and two younger. and
have two brothers older than L. | will
close. Your friend,
HUBERT SEARS
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
From Craven County.

BACHELOR, N. 4
Mr. EditOr:-Will you please allow
a little girl of the age Of II TO write for
your valuable paper2 I live on the eide
cf Neuse river on q farm. I will ask a
few questions. Who was the father of
Abraham9 What "a done to the man
who gathered sticks on the Sabbath9
Who was the father Of Samuel? How
many sons had Ja3ob? I will answer
Cyrus Johns ms question. Joseph, the
son of Jacob was buried in Egypt. |
will close, my best wishes to The Pro
FARMER.
Yours truly,
EMILY WHITEHEAD
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
YOUNG FOLKS
A Question.

A Question.
MoRRIsvILLE, N. @.
Mr.. EdGtOr:-I am q lad of Is years,
and read the young folks letters and
am very well pleased with them all. I
will continue my letter by answering
Mary K9nnedy's question. st. Angus
tine is the Oldest town IN the United
I will close by asking a Ques
ton. When and where, and by whom
was the first match made2
Yours truly,
LATTA DAWDY.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
From w K County.

CARY, n. Q.
Mr.. Editor:-Wlll you please allow
a girl Of 13 years old a space in your
valuable paper2 I will ask a few ques
tions. In what year was the first spin
ming machine invented? Ny father
likes very much to read your paper and
he takes it. like to read the young
folks column. With much success to
The PROGRESSIVE FARMER.
Your friend,
LUNA BENNETT.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-09-29
ALLEGED FUN.

4 domestic in one OF the best families
20 llJo-ick FalIR, N. Y, said the other
day IN speaking about her brother
Toms fine crops, "Begorrie, Ihope the
Salvation Army worm WON'T get into
Toms illegint crops"
4 mother trying to get her little
daughter of three years old to sleep
one night, said: Dora, why don't
you try to go to sleep2" II am trying"
she replied. But you haven't shut
your eyes" well I can't help it; dey
comes unbuttoned."
a Philadelphia sales stable adver-
ttsas. If you're looking for mules,
don't forget u.s."
Mrs. Skinner 0he boarding house
Keeper: I car say this-my table al
ways literally groans under the weight
Of the food upon it.
Mr.. Hall R0umer: You bet it does,
Mrs Skinner. Why, the table would
sr9an under the weight of these bis
cults alone.
DO you think your mother would
LEI you nave another piece of cake,
Wlllez'
On, yes, ma'am. She told me to lie
sure and get filed up while 1 had the
Chance"
laese," said the poultry farmer,
pointing to a group of energetic hens,
are Macduffs.'
What a queer name" observed the
VISITOR; why are they so called?"
because they always lay on"