, 1896-12-16
PLAYING MONKEY.

LAYIN
Great Scotti Don't tell me wimmen is
allus right I know different. Wy, it's
only tn other day Mary-my missis-
wor dead wrong. "Now, yer will be
carful, won't yer, Jim?' Says she. a-tyin
a big red comforter round tn young
un's neck. Careful" says I. ~ be-
lieve yer. me boyl' as Mr.. Paul Bedford
used ter say ter MIR. Bob Kelley. Lord!
Lord! Wot days they did ave in them
timesl
Yer gee, my old mother 'ad been er
great trick act rider. till she 'ad a hac-
oident. an after that as fer back as
Nine. Celeste's day she got inter tn
wardrobe at tn Adelphy an ''went
on''-one er 9Th guests" yer know.
Lord, she wor allus as jolly IN as gen.
tie as q sand boy an used ter tell us
kids all about before she was married,
seein madame playin tn Indian girl an
afterward dancin tn gavot in wife
satin. An wen she come 'ome from tn
theater she'd ave 'er little drop err cold
8AA al biA8 ~ Nd WCC ALE \h-5ItNAl up
in bed a-eatin tn 'ot baked taters she'd
bring us) down Hamong TIL Green
Bushes in 'er sweet voice. Miss Fitz-
gerald did sing it that beautiful" says
she, a-wipin 'er heyes.
'Ow did / cum ter be in tn purfesh?
Well, yer see, I was brought up a bit
sensitive an with 'er taste fer tn dra-
mer, an bein rather tender hearted like
-takin after father, who got killed one
night a-carryin out a old blind woman
from a fire-I thought I'd like ter be u
acrobat or q pantomimist. So nj
Christmas I gifts on at Covcpt Garden as
. supe an 'ad ter do er little ''bizness'
with tn clown. An MI. Payne e says
ter me, says e, ivy don't yer go in
fer it?" An I does-goes prentis, an in
me spare time did little odd jobs an
'elped mother wot I could with tn
kids. But, yer see, I was a bit old fer a
reg lar bender. Besides, I'd got it on
me mind ter play a monkey. Mother
said ~ 'ow she couldn't account fer it,
'oept 1t wor she went one Monday to
tn geological gardens afore I was born.
Dad didn't want 'er ter go in tn mon
key 'ouse; but, womaniike, she would.
Wen I was 10, I could play . monkey
fer all e was worth. I got engaged with
. troop. an they Civ me . good screw
we'll, good fer them days. It's differ
emit now. We worked all tn 'alls in tn
provinces. Then a manager ' e from
America see Us, an we played through tn
States Wen we gifts back ter Lon.
don, I fixes up mother in 'er chambers
shop jest behind Hashley'a.- Lord, she
could nearly smell tn sawdust an quite
ear tn losses, an it did 'er good.
"Nakes me young agin." says she.
Then our troop gifts er turn at tn
Halhambra. An wot d. yer thinkr !
falls in love with my missis-Mary Ma.
son-a good little gal in tn back row
o. tn ballet. Well, we gifts married five
year ago come termorrer, an we as two
kids-both boys. Tn second one was
sickly an died. But. bless your 'eart.
Tommy, tn Oldest, jest a-risin 4-well,
there, talk about a munki Wy. e on'y
wanted er tail. Wen e wor . year, e
Jung an chung on ter everythink an
nearly frightened lis mother inter fts.
Well, I've 'ad i'm with me in my act
fer about three month"; (Another glass?
Idon't mind if / do Talkin's dry work.
More soda, please. } An last week I gifts
leave from my boes ter play fer tn
''ben" o. q old pal o. mine down tn
east end way. Now. that night Mary
seemed ter regular 'ugger mugger over
Tommy. "W'ot's tn matter, motherf"
says L "Oh, nuthin-I-Id dunno, Jim."
says tn mother. An I could "a swore
she was q. goin ter cry. Then she broke
out quite fercelike. "Don't let that
there Bob Bracy ave nothin to do with
th' ropes" says she. Bob was TIL cad
carpenter at tn all we was due at an .
old sweetheart of Mary's-she ''chuck-
ed" i'm fer me. "W'y, Bob's all right,
mother" saysL 81 dunno" says abe.
IT shouldn't like ter trust Tommy with
'im," says she. Eyer know. e allus
swore he'd git even." Well. after q
minute: "It's time yer was gone. Lord
love 'iml" says she, a-givin tn young
nm q extra kiss an another turn o. tn
comforter.
Wen we gifts ter tn all. It was
pretty late-cram'ned with people an
full Of smoke. Tommy-seemed = bit
sleepy, but perks up wen I puts Il
monkey dress oil i'm. vows tn little
nsni' says /. IAN right, dadda," says
.. / gives i'm 10 = woman ter odd
while ! goes On tn stage tsr ~ H.
tackle was all right. specially = little
trapese VI Tommy's covered with leaves
- nwar which vaa nxed oentor o.