Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-05-14
Since the bicycle era envelops us

quite,
All the universe seems to seek safe
ty' in flight.
Boston Courier.
"Can you cash a check for $5?"
ooh, yes.'' "All right; lend me the
five" life.
He-Miss McCroesus-Imogen
cannot live without you. She-How did
YOU acquire such extravagant habitsI
Truth.
Husband-Strange, but my wife al
ways wants me to remember her birth
day. but to forget her age.-Fliegende
Batter.
EDO you have any idea how many
tons of coal you burn each WinterYs
mo; only know how much pay for.''
Chicago Record.
A doctor may be able to speak but
one language. but he is supposed to
have some knowledge of all tongues
Yonkers Statesman.
Faithful portraits think Nelps
new photographs must look exactly
like her" "Why?' "She hasn't shown
them to a living soul."-C,licago Rec
ord.
what is the best sign of spring
weather. "That delightful feeling
which makes you want to sit:down and
watch other people work. Chicago
Record.
''Mr. Badger, when Is a woman in
the prime Of life?" "Well, Mrs Badgers
when she's 3d. "And a. MANI" "Oh,
anywhere from q to 80."-Chicago
Record.
Bryton Early-I thought you were
going to save SO much money by reA
signing from the club. Minos Coyne--
Well, just look how much I'm not IN
debt!-Life.
Il believe you're going to fall on
me-" said the shed to the shot-tower-
"Well," said the shot-tower, cts true
/ have leaning that way.'-NeW
York Press.
Papa, what is meant by having
horse sense?" 1T means knowing
enough to make hay while the sun
shines! Run now and talk to your
gran0mOtner. truth
Professionalism weather is appro.
pirate to the beginning of the basebaH
season. Homewood-Why? Franks
town-It gives appropriate exercise to
the FANS Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Miss Cayenne is very bright young
woman he remarked admiringlys
"Does she say clever things?" Better
than that She sees the point when
somebody else says them. Washing
ton Star.
Harry-I cannot offer you wealth,
Marie; my brains are all the fortune
possess Marie-Oh, Harry, if you are
as badly off as that, l am afraid papa
will never give his consent.-Indianap
oils Sentinel.
'She." said the adoring young man,
lis an ANGEL "Oh, of course" said the
elderly friend. II have proof, almost
indisputable proof. Even mother thinks
she will make me good wife."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
'.Folks hab sech er tendency ter git
wrapped up in DER own sorrers," said
Uncle Eben, dat dey gifts ter lookin'
at de hot wedder ez er pus'nal grew
ance, and doan' symp-fze wifi nobody"
Washington Star.
Patsy Finnegan-Pa, phat's a states
man? Aid Finnegan (complacently)-
Wal, OF dunno thot OF kin Jest des-
chroibe ut, Patsy, but-Oi'm wan. Pat
sy (disgusted)-Ow! An is thot all it is2
-Harper's Weekly.
what is your idea of an intellectual
woman, Mrs. Outskirts?' "Well, she is
and hangsit up until after her husband
makes all the garden beds she has
mapped out."-Chicago Record.
Duzby-What are bells on bicycles
for? Dooby-Don't you know? Why,
the riders ring them, you know, when
wheeling through the. streets, SOS to
let tho people know they're going to run
them wn."-Rcxbury Gazette.
He-Wl,at is the senGe OF putting all
that trimming on the bac1 of your hat?
Do you suppose any man can see the
back of your hat when he meets you?
She-No; but every woman will when
she passes mc.-Indianapclis Journal.
Teacher-James, what makes you
late? james, was pursuing knowl-
edge. Teacher Pursuing knoWledge7
What do you mean? James-Why, my
dog ran off with my spelling book, and
/ ran after him.-Harper's Round Ia
hIe .s