The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1896-01-03
miscellaneous.
THE CYCLOPEEDY.
..a.sl.5r: =: q NJ OF

Il
| place tsigoia On 80 Years. II ealc late that
| I Know jest about ez Irf}ldh aisdut the case
| ieE anybody else now. on sairth, cxceptin,
perhaps, it,s9le, ledge Baker, IN he's so
| plaguy 0le=7n SO powerful feeble that he
don't know nothin.
1t seems that in the spring Nv 1S47-
the year that Cy Watson's Oldest boy wuz
| drowned in West river-there come along
q book agent scllin volyumes n tracks fer
tho diffusion Nv Knowledge N havin got
| the recommend NV tho minister n NV the
selectmen he done an all fired big business
In our part Wv the county. His name wuz
Lemuel Higgins, n he wuz cz likely u
talker ez 1 ever heerd, barrin Lawyer
Conkey, N everybody allowed that when
CC.nkcy wuz round he talked so fast that
the town pump'd have to be creased every
90 minutes.
One NV the first NV our folks that this
Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Lcander Ho-
bart. Leandcr had jest marr'd one NV the
Pcasley girls n had moved into the ole
homestead, on the Plainvillc road, ole
Deacon Hobart hayin give up tho place to
him, the other boys havin moved out west.
like lot wv dnrned fools that they wuz
Lennder wuz feelin his oats jest about this
time, n nuthin wuz too good fer him.
"Hattie, SEE he, / guess I'll have to
lay in few books fer rcadln in the winter
time, n I've IL notion 10 subscribe fer u
cyclopcrdy. Mr.. Higgins here says they re
invalerablc in a family, N that we OrtGr
have EN-, bein aS how Tu'ro likely to have
the fam 'ly bmeby."
'Lor's sakes Lcandor, how you talk -
sez Hattie, blushin all over, cZ brides allus
docs to hecrn tell NV SIGH things.
WAL to make long story short, Lean
der burgaincd with MIR. Higgins fer IL set
NV them cyclopecdics II nc signed his
name to n long printed paper that showed
how he agreed to take II cyclOpccdy oncct
in SO often, which WIZ to be ca often cz u
now one Nv the volyumcs wuz printed. y
cyclopccdy isn't printed all at oncet, be-
cause that would make it cost too much,
consistently the man that gets Il up has 1t
strung along fur apart, SO Us to hit folks
uncct every year or TWO, II gin rally
about harvest time. So Lcander kind NV
liked the idcc. n he signed the printed
paper u made his affidavit to it afore
JcdSe Warner.
! Tho fust Yoiyume uy the cyolOpue dy'
tstood on a shelf in the old scckCrIary in
thc scttin room shout four months before
they had any use fer 1t. One nj sht Squire
\ SOD COlllC ONCE W NlSll 1Jtul!uGE
N Hattie, n they got to talkin about
apples N the sort NV apples that WIZ the
best Leandcr allowed that the Rhode
Island Grccnin waz the best, but Hattie
III tho Turner boy stuck up fer the Rcx-
bury Russell until nt last u happy ldoc
struck Leundr., n, SCI lie: ''Wc'll leave il
to the cyclopecdy, b'go:.h! Whichever ono
the cyclopcrdy SEE is the best will settle it."
but you can't find out nothin bout
Roxbury Russcts nor Rhode Island Green
ms III our cyulOpCctly," SCI Hattie.
why hot, Id like to know SEE Lean
der, kind Nv iudignGntlikc.
&" Cause ours hnin't got down 10 the X
yet" sez Hattie. An ours tells about is
things beginnin with A."
We'll. amt we talkin about applcs?'
SCI Lcandcr. You aggervItc mo terrible,
Hattie, by insistin on knowin what you
don't know nothin bout"
LeandcT went To the scCkertary N took
down tho cyclopcody II hunted all through
1t fer apples, but all he could find wuz,
''Applo-Sec pomology."
"How in thunder kin l sec pomology,"
SCI Leandcr, when there amt no pomol-
ogy to sec? Gol durn IL cyclopeedy any
howl
N he put the volyumo back on to the
shelf n never got eyes into Il agin.
That's the way the thing run fer years
n years. Leandcr would'vc gin up tho
plaguy bargain, but he couldn't. He had
signed printed paper N had sworo to 1t
afore a Justice Of the peace. Higgins
would have had tho law on him If he had
throwcd up tho trade.
The most aggerratin feature Nv 1t all
wuz that new ono wv them cussid cyclic
peedics wuz allus sure to show up at tho
wrong timc-when Lcundor wuZ hard up
or had jest been afflicted some way or
other. His bnrn burned down two nights
aforc the volyume contaiHln the letter b
arrived, N Lonrder nr,;.cd all his chink
to pay fer lumber, but Higgins sot back
on that affidavit II de1ied tho life out Nv
him.
Never mind, Lcandcr," soz his wife,
soothin like; it's IL good book to have in
tho house anyhow, now that we've got
baby"
That's SO, SEE Leander Babies does
begin with B, don't it!"
You see, their fust baby had been born.
They named him Pcasley-Peaslcy Hobart
after Hnttie's folks. So, seein as how it
wuz payin fer book that told about ba-
bies Leandor didn't begredgo that So SO
very much after all.
"Loandor," seq Hattie one forenoon,
that b cyclopecdy amt no account.
There amt nothin in it about babies, ex-
Ccpt See maternity
"Wnnl, I'll b'gosh durncdr' SCI Lean
der That wuz all he said, N be couldn't
do nothin at all, fer that book agent,
iIcii:url Hirgips had inc dead wood ON
Gim--tho mean, sncakin critter!
So tho years passed on, one of them cy-
jlopeedies shown No now N then. some
times every two years, N sometimes every
four, but allus at time when LCander
found it pcsky hard to give up flyer. 1t
warn't no use cussin Higgins. Higgins
Jest laffcd when Leandcr allowed that the
cyclopccdy wuz no good, n that he wuZ
bcin robbed. Meantime Loander's family
wuz incrcasin II CROWN. Little Sarcy
had tho hoopin cough dreadful one winter,
but tho cyclopccdy didn't help out at all.
cause all 1t said wuz, ''Hoopin cough
see whoopin cough" N Nv course there
warn't no whoopin cough to see, bcin as
how tho W hadn't come yet
Oncet when Hiram wanted to dreen tho
homo pasture he went to the cyclopcedy To
find out about it, but all he diskivcrcd
WIZ, ''Drau-sce tile" This wuz i'll
1899, IL the UyclopCcdy had only got down
to q.
TIC cow wuz sick with lung fever ono
spell, III Lcander laid her dyin to that
cussid cyclopeedy, cause when he went To
readin bout COWS it told him to Sec
zoology"
But what's the use NV harrowin up
olC's fcclin's talkin N thinkin bout these
things? Lcander got so after awhile that
tho cyclopecdy didn't worry him at all.
TO Loot Of pr1a nv +hn