Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-08-10

Baltimore News.
When it begins to get real summery
bot, can't we manage to have the wealth
er man arrested for scorching phil
adelphia North American.
Brigg-Does your wife laugh when
you tell her funny story? Braggs-
Oh, yes. I always tell her beforehand
that 1t is funny.-Indianapolis Journal.
She-Do you know anything worse
than man taking kiss without asking
for it2 Hell do. "What, for In
stance?" asking for 1t without taking
it."
Mrs. Winks-I don't see how you
could afford to pay 500 for wheel.
Mr.. Winks-1 couldn't. That's why l
bavo got to pay $105 for it.-Somerville
Journal.
Tommy-Paw, what is u designing
villain? Mr.. Figg-Oh, the description
would apply to one Of these poster ar
lists about as well as anything.-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Sweet Is the summer breeze that goes
To gladden. toiling nun
Especially the one that flows
From an electric fan.
Washington Star.
She-I would not marry you IL /
were to live to be hundred years old.
Howell, ! should say you wouldn't,
II had anything to say In tho matter.
indianapolis Journal.
Look here. Bawl Earrings, I've
proposition to make" "What is 1t,
Noopops?" you stop talking about
your bicycle and I'll not say another
word about my smart baby."-Truth.
Justice-You are charged with steal
ing Colonel Julep's chickens. Have
you any wltnesses2 Uncle Moses-I
heb not. l don't steal chickens befo'
itnesses-Amusing Journal.
/. Young Husband-Are you In favor of
free silver or the gold standard my
love? Young wife-Oh, don't care.
my dear, 80 long as you have plenty of
it.-Philadelphia North American.
Say, Dobbs, all your family are
away; what do you keep your alarm
clock going forT' ~ want to wake up
every hour and realize that l don't have
to walk the baby."-Chicago Record.
1--WE cannot find u place to go this
summer" whats the trouble2" 1--WE
want summer resort from which we
won't have to write home that we sleep
under blankets. ."-Chicago Record.
Mamma, were those stories Uncle
George was telling us about the big
fishes he caught fairy storiesT' 81 don't
know, my child; wasn't listening, but
imagine they were."-Brooklyn Life.
Edith and Mabel had just put their
dollies IN their little crib. Said Edith,
with sigh Of relief. There, I'm thank.
full we've got the children to bed. We
shall have little peace now."-Boston
Transcript.
Wheelcr-I see by the papers that
Chicago bicycler was held up by two
men. Sprocket Feeling II the court
plaster was In place on his fnce-I wish
TO gracious 1t had been me!-Yonkers
Statesman.
Rugby-Our landlady is one of the
most expert calculators in town. VII.
kins-Is she? Rugby-Yep. We had
beans for dinner to-day, and she asked
me how many would have.-Cleveland
Plaindealer.
George-How do you like 1t, Corai
Cora-1t's perfectly lovely. But what
do they have all these policemen at the
game for2 Oh, know; it is to keep
the men from stealing bases.-Somer-
vile Journal.
1T is the intention to collect about
$11 900 for Pittsburg's Fourth Of July
celebration this year." remarked the
Horse Editor. "Ah," replied the Snake
Editor, Money TO burn!'-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
How is Jenny See getting along with
her bicycle lessons?'' "Oh, nicely" re-
piled the young enthusiast. "She has
only taken six now, and, do you know,
never saw any one fall off wheel
SO gracefullyr'-Buffa Times.
Jilson-Is Jubbs sick or travelling?
Jabson-Neither. What makes you
of the window the last ten minutes
and I haven't seen him playing a hose
ON his iawns-Roxbury Gazette.
Clear Case.-'Do you ride wheel2'
asked the eldest of the doctors on the
Insanity Commission. yep" answer.
ed the subject. What maker 'T
never noticed" The verdict was unani.
mentia.-Cincinnat Enquirer.
Reginald-Time brings about some.
odd changes doesn't it2 Harold-I
should say It did. Look at the matter
of costumes. Why, when we played
tennis, we turned our trousers up at
the bottom, and now that we play golf
we turn our stockings down from the
top.-Woonsocket Reporter.
"If this Misther Hanna gets TO be
the great man he promises now" said
Mr.. Dolan, 'there'll be twice the NUN.
Der av babies named afther him as is
named afther most celebrities" "OI
see no rayson fur it," replied Mrs. Do
Ian. TITS plain as day, though. He's