davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-27
MADISON, SOUTH d.

Local Time able.
Chicago, Milwaukee b st. Paul Railway, which
Jock effect, Sunday,May 4, 1886:
TRAINS GOING EAST.
Passenger, No. 4, departs l:lo a. NJ.
Freight, No. 50, departs 6:45 d. m.
TRAINS GONE WEST,
Way freight, No. 81, departs 4:l0 y. m.
TRAINS FROM TIM EAST.
Passenger, No. /, arrives $3.50 p. m,
Freight, No. ", arrives 2 90 p. IN.
TRAINS PROM TIE WEST.
Freight, No. W, arrives 10 40 q. m.
Ali the above trains carry passen gere; but
!reights only when passen gers are provided with
tickets.
Passenger trains going east make connection
1t Egan for ell points south.
MADISON 4 BRIsToL LINE.
Passenger going north, departs 400 p. m.
Passep ger from north arrives, III :OO a. m.
II. R. WOOL. Local Agent.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-27
The Hunter-Salxer Farm

And State Experimental Station at
Mellette 10 now in fine condition, and
will amply repay q visit from farmers
and others interested in irrigation and in
getting the best results from their farm
ing. All the best and most improved
methods OF farming are in operation. In
order to give every one an opportunity
to inspect the farm, the Chicago Milwau-
kee Il st. Paul R'y will make special
rates to Mellette on every Tuesday and
Friday, until October 81, next, from all
stations on its line il South Dakota.
Call on the ticket agent for particulars
as to rates, etc. H. r. WooD, Agent.
Personal.
FREE-64-p page medical reference book
to any person afflicted with any special,
chronic or delicate disease peculiar to
their sex. Address the leading
physicians and surgeons Of the United
States DR.. Hathaway & Co., Corner
Nebraska and Fourth streets, Sioux
City, Iowa. =
Persons vino have q coughing spell
every night, on account OF q TICKLING
sensation in the throat may overcome
it at once by q dose OF One Minute
Cough Cure.
FRANK SMITH.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-27
New DraY Line

l AN prepared TO do all kinds Of city
drsying, prices reasonable. Satisfaction
guaranteed. JAS. j. CRANEY.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-27

We are anxious to d. a little good in
this world and can think of no pleasanter
or better way to do it than by recon,
mending One Minute Cough Cure as a
preventive OF pneumonia, consumption
and other serious lung troubles that fol-
low neglected colds.
FRANK SMITH.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1896-07-27
H GOLD

More Offers From Bankers to Aid the
Treasury.
WASHINGTON, July 27.-No gold went
out for export Friday and the only
withdrawals were domestic, 1907, lOt
for boarding and $40, 0OO i'll gold bars
On the other hand $l,490, 600 i'll gold
coin was deposited i'll the sub-treasury
by New York bankers, making the goil
reserve at the close of business SOB,
6SS, $50. The other financial center:
are also coming forward TO reinforce til,
treasury and gold was offered i'll ex
change for legal tender notes to the
amount OF $500, Geo. OF this Chicago
offered 81, 800, eco, Philadelphia $3.50,
CVU alIt BOstOn Il GOO Coo
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
'0etting the River ON Fire."


Sometimes when person wants TO make
way about dull boy be will say, THAT
boy will never set the river on fire. " Now,
that Is all very true, for even tho snartest
man In the world could never set u stream
Of water on fire, and 90 perhaps many Of
you who have heard this expression have
wondered what 10 meant by setting the
river on fra
In England many, many years ago, be-
fore the millers had machinery for sitting
-four, each family was Obliged 10 sift Id
own -four. For doing this IL was necessary
TO use a sieve, called tense, which was
80 fixed that It could be turned round and
round in the top Of barrel II 1t was
turned too fast, tho friction would some
times cause IL to catch fire, and as 1t was
only the smart, hardworking boys who
could make it go 80 fast that people
got into the way Of pointing out a lazy
boy by saying that be would never set the
tense on fire. After awhile these sleeves
went out Of use, but as there were still
plenty Of stupid boys in the world people
kept on saying that they would never set
the tense on fire.
Now, the name Of the river Thames Is
pronounced exactly like the word "temse,"
and so after many years those persons who
had never seen or heard of the old fashion
Cd sieve thought that "sotting the tense
on nre" meant setting the river Thames
on flre This expression became very pop
ular and travelled far and wide until the
people living near other streams did not
zee why 1t was any harder for slothful
boy to set the Thames on fire than any
other river, and so the name Of the river
was dropped. and everybody after that
simply said 1.-THE river, meaning tho river
of his particular city or town, and that is
how 1t Is that people today talk Of setting
the river on fire. --St. Nicholas
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
Tho Elephant.

A curious statement appears In the Lon
don Veterinarian on the relative weight OF
The body and OF tho viscera Of an elephant
The one disseoted was 10 feet In height,
20 years of age and weighed 8 tons.
The relative proportional weight Of the
visoera was az follows: Brain, 10 pounds;
lungs, AZ pounds ounces; heart, II
pounds ounces; liver, 88 pounds 10
ounces; spleen, 8 pounds 8 ounces right
kidney, 2 pounds . ounces; left kidney,
bpounds 10 ounces; length of the alimen-
tary capal, 100 feet.
A female which died last year In the
Berlin geological gardens was found upon
dissection to give the following proper
tional weights: Heart, rs pounds; lungs
(muoh oongested) 1O7 pounds; liver, 80
pounds; spleen, pounds; kidneys, 8
pounds each; alimentary canal, 1873 feet;
largest intestine, 95 feet in length and Of
capacity sufficient to hold 161 gallons Of
water.
A curious circumstance was noted in
each Of these cases-the general absence
Of fat In the male there was none what
ever, although he had died suddenly Of
fright during thunderstorm and while In
perfect health, and In the female only
about l9h pounds
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03

The headline may give the reader the
idea that something has gotten wrong
with our satellite and that In the fu.
ture Luna's fair face will not get
through the regular phases Of new moon.
first quarter, full moon and last quar-
ter. as has been her wont since the time
when the mind Of man runneth not
10 the contrary"
But such, dear reader. is not the idea
we mean to convey, but we do mean ex-
aotly what the headline says, that under
existing conditions (and the conditions
which have existed on the surface Of the
moon for perhaps millions Of years) It
Is physical impossibility that the face
of the moon should change one iota.
There are neither outside nor inside in
fuences that can DO brought to bear to
make change in the CONFORMATION Of
"our silvery sister world" Her inter-
nal fires have long since died out and
there is an utter absence Of both air and
water. Existing under such conditions
1t is utterly impossible that the face Of
the moon should undergo change or dis
Indignation even In the course Of hun
bred million years. st. Louis Republic.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
How Manufacturers Test Bicycles.

Unless one has visited great bicycle
factory 1t is not easy to appreciate the
many delicate operations that the parts of
. bicycle are subjected to, the many tests
that must be passed and the hundreds Of
careful inspections that the many parts
must pass before they are considered
worthy or good enough to be assembled
into bicycle Of standard worth. Visitors
to big mandatory are surprised at the
extent Of the plant, the perfect appoint
ments and air Of discipline that prevails
throughout. 1t docs not take the most in
experienced long to see why 1t costs 10
much to build good bicycle. The most
exacting care 10 required, the very best ma
terials are necessary In every part, skilled
labor Of the highest order IL essential to
obtain the desired results, and II any part
gets through the inspection room and Is
afterward found imperfect 1t Is nothing
short of marvellous.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
Didn't Believe 1t Himself.

Some years ago, while visiting the Spo.
kanes, General Philip Sheridan related to
the Indians, through an interpreter, the
wonders Of the railroad, and then waited
to see what eject the revelation would
have upon them.
what do they says" he asked the inter.
prefer.
"They say they don't believe It," was
the answer.
Sheridan then described the steamboat,
and the interpreter repeated this.
What do they say to that7" the general
asked again, seeing the Indian faces all
impassiye.
They cay they don't believe that ei-
ther."
Then the general gave an account Of
the telephone, and told how man at the
end Of long wire had talked to man at
the other end Of IL. The Interpreter re.
NAMED silent.
"Well," said the general, why don't
you interpret that to thenp"
because don't believe that story my
self" answered the conscientious man.
San Francisco Argonsut.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
IF YOU WANT A WIFE.
Iou Must Keep Your Eye Opon For .
Warm Bundle Of Femininity.

Hou Must Keep Your Eye Open For .
Warm Bundle Of Femininity.
The Rev. Charles H. Parkhurst, D. D.,
discusses 1.-THE Young Man and Marriage"
In The Ladies' Home Journal. Marriage,
to certain Degree" he says, "a young
man Is to look upon from a unitarian
standpoint A good wife is so much capt.
tai. She makes him to be- by kind Of
grace, q great deal more than he is by na-
ture. She contributes tho qualities needed
In order to convert his vigor into a safe as
we'll as productive efficiency. She intro
duces, for instance, into his intellectual
nature that ingredient of sentiment which
intellect requires In order to do Its best
work. Heart and brain need to conspire
IN order to the attainment Of the true, and
without caring to assert that man Is nat
urally heartless any more than should
wish to assume that woman is by nature
brainless, yet heart in Its way Is just as
precious as brain In Its way, and woman,
20 long as she is untainted by the passion
Of wanting to be q man, will be that men,
Der Of the oonnubial corporation that will
In particular contribute to the capital
stock Its affsctional element
"6ome women may resent this, but
would like to caution young men against
oherishing matrimonial designs upon any
woman who IL likely to resent 1t. II what
you want 10 wife and not merely house
keeper, you must keep your eye we'll open
for a warm bundle Of femininity that will
be to you in personal way what the fire
on the hearth is to you in physical way
"a fund Of tropical comfort that will keep
the stiffness out Of your thinking, the
frost out of your feeling and the general
machinery of your life In o condition Of
pleasuEable activity"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
The Ass and the Trap.

The Poultry once brought Petition to
the King Of the Barnyard, praying for
Protection against the Fox The Case
was referred to the Kings Learned Coun-
selor, tho Donkey, who set about devising
a means Of restraining the Fox. In due
time he produced Trap Of his own inven-
ton, which he brought In triumph 10
Ohanticleer. But are you certain 10 Will
catch the Fox9" asked the King "siys, -
replied the Donkey, ~ have not merely
my own opinion of Its merits, but the Boz.
who has carefully examined It and seen II
work, rs greatly in favor of 1t as well. 1"
I'm that case" replied King Shanghai,
"it won't do Whatever suits the Fox y
a good thing for the Poultry 10 avoid"
Moral.-1t Is 9 good thing TO dud out
what your Enemy wants you 10 and
then do the Oppohte The Prohibition
Assop, A Book Of Fables" BY J. v. Ban,
cough.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
Anglophobis.


Lawrence Hatton says that be and the
late n. G. Bunner had a delightful time
together in London on the first visit Of
Bunner and his wife 30 the old world.
Hutton had much pleasure In taking them
about the town he loved 90 we'll, although
bis own pleasure, he fears, was greater
than Burners He had developed symp-
toms Of rabid anglcphobio nature, and
the present day Englishman seemed to be
stepping upon every sensitive nerve In his
system.
He had succeeded in fretting all the skin
of his mental body, and he WAS never 80
happy as when he could taunt some Eng
lishman into rubbing salt into bis wounds
He left St Paul's cathedral In disgust be-
cause upon the monument to CORVALLIS
there was every Allusion to that persons
worth, his valor and his victories and no
reference whatever to the important fact
that he had surrendered bis sword to
Washington at Yo1ktowni
At Westminster Bunner rebelled against
the great crowd Of men in tho abbey who
were nobodies but princes or royal dukes
He was impressed, however, at standing
20 close to the mortal parts Of 30 many I'M
mortal men, and he WAS subdved and 70
speotful as We sat In the poots' corner.
"There are some good and great English
men, after all, Harry" said.
Eyes" he replied, "therO are three
classes of Engaishmen whom l con endure
tho Irish, the Scotch and the deadp'
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
A Story Of Sa9e.

Russell Sage tucked himself away In q
Sixth avenue elevated car one evening,
and as he emerged from his corner he ask
ed tho gateman II he happened to have q
copy of any evening paper about him that
he didn't happen to want The employee
replied with low salaam that he was In
possession Of such commodity, and Mr.
Sage passed out, with look Of grati1oa-
ton on his high, fnapeiol brow.
Ibid Uncle Russell give you half dol.
lar'" inquired good natured fellow who
had seen the millionaire stop at the gate
"Yes," replied the gateman, with a
grin, "but gave him 81 cents in change
for IL "-New York journal.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
0A9To7IA
Ths ne n
~; =: !: 1Zzzzzx -: e; y
ONLY HALF SHOT THEN.
q Wa the Best the Hated Rival Could
Do With Opie Read.

q Wss the Best the Hated Rival Could
Do With Opie Read.
When Opie Read took charge Of the Lit
bitterly attacked by rival paper In the
bore this abuse in silence for several
weeks, but finally printed this paragraph
at the head of the "editorial jottings:'
"When Jim Simmons first settled In
Camden, years ago. he was poor, truthful
and honest He is still poor"
The next day tall, gaunt stranger
alighted from the evening train and &C.
costed Opie, who CHANGED to be at the de-
pot "watohin Of the train get in"
"Do you live heres" he queried.
II do" was the answer.
Come and have q drink then. want
to talk to you"
The two men adjourned to q wet goods
store near by, and after emptying their
glasses few times the visitor casually re-
marked:
"I've got TO shoot a man in this town. I"
"Sos" said Read, with an infection
which asked for more.
"Yep-got to do it," continued the man
hunte'. know anything about q paper
here called Tho Gay -zette9''
"Say, let's have another drink, =" hastily
interposed Opie They did, and several
other drinks followed.
Now, where's The Gay-zette Officer"
finally inquired the man from Camden.
II want you to go along and sec that I
get fair play. All you've got to do is to
point out the coyote that edits itand stand
back out Of range"
Together they started up town toward
the newspaper Office. The visitor never
reached It There were too many saloons
along the route And strangest Of all,
Opie several times lost his bearings and
took his belligerent protege through un.
necessary detours and past more grogshops
than the Camden editor ever had seen be-
fore. An hour later the man who wanted
gore was sleeping of aD alcoholic trance
in garbage box IN an alley. He had lost
his gun and the editor Of Tho Gazette had
secured q new paperweight 1t Is unneoes-
sary to add perhaps that Opie was not shot
that night 1t Is no disparagement to him,
however, to admit that he was about half
shot.-Chioago Times Herald
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
IT AMUSED THE OLD MAN.
rhsv Helped Him 70 Got Away With His

fhsy Helped Him 20 Got Away With He
Dog.
The old man came down to the subur-
han station leading most reprehenslble
dog. Leading 10 hardly the word, for In
reality he dragged the unwilling animal,
after the fashion Of sled. With coaxing
words be lured tho soraggy beast on, and
finally he got II safely slowed under the
bench on the shady side Of the station.
he bought a paper then and settled down
10 wait 30 minutes for the oityward train.
Mr.. Huffman and Mr.. Jodyngs had
marked the approach Of the old man and
had smiled somewhat at his trouble when
the dog had pulled back with greatest
force
"It's funny, isn't IT, " said Mr.. lodgings,
"that an otherwise reasonable and sane
man will take up with such dog as that
and treat 1t as a pets"
Mr., Huffman assented and said he sup
posed the old man would 60 into parox-
ysms of wrath II anything were to happen
the dog That suggested an Idea, and Mr.
lodgings nearly burst with laughter as he
thought upon that idea.
"Suppose we steal the dog and put 1t on
the north bound trnin, and when the old
man finishes his paper and goes 10 take the
city train he will be furious" This was
MI. Jodyngs' idea, and Mr.. Huffman
came near exploding, It was 80 funny.
Mr. Huffman sat down next the old man,
90 a. to conceal the workings Of Mr.
lodgings, and Mr.. Jodyngs, with suppress
ed shorts Of laughter, united the Irvine
and hauled the dog around the corner Of
the station and into the express office,
where he paid glad dollar and expressed
the sorry beast to fictitious John Smith
at a station q dollars worth up the line
The old man continued reading, while the
up train stood at the platform, and he did
not wake up until the whistle Of the in
coming cityward engine was sounded at
the road crossing. Then he looked hastily
for his dog
Where's that dog9" he asked Of his
city bound fellow townsmen, who had
gathered about In obedience to the invita-
ton Of Mr.. Jodynga With fierce peals OF
laughter, Mr. Huffman told him that the
household pet was on the way to Milwau-
kec. MIR. Huffman explained the joke
and clapped the old man on the back In
delight.
The face Of the latter was q study. He
looked at Mr. Huffman wonderingly.
by thunderv he cried, "That's funny.
You see, brought the dog to the station
today intending to carry him as far in TO-
ward town as Jefferson park, and there I
had intended to kick him off. He's .
blamed nuisance around the house, and I
wanted to get rid Of him the worst way.
Much obliged, lodgings"
But Mr. lodgings, with his mind dwell
Ing on his dollar, was pillar Of self kick
Ing silence Chicago Record
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
Glover Of Three L.esvosA

The dover Of three leaves 10 In ireland
considered a. emblem Of the Trinity, from
the tradition that st. Patrick used It while
preaching 70 oonfute the argument OF .
heather. "How," said the mau, "o%n
there be three gods ip one and ono In
three'" 81 Patrick stopped and picked
up o shamrock growing al his feet
Here" he said, "are three in ohs and
ono in three" Since that day the sham.
rock has been the national plant Of the
Emerald Isle
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03

wanted 70 ask me, and I've been wonder
ing what it could be for 20 years.
"Do you know" said he delightedly.
$50 have L so have l." And here he
leaned beamingly over her, and his eye
glasses fell off and dangled at the end
Of their cord 1T was only tonight" he
went on, lit came to me that it was
something connected with this ring
my class ring, you know. It's odd
can't think what it was. Why, your
hand is tremblingr' Coyly she appraised
it to meet the coming ring, and then
again he faltered.
II remember, / was holding the ring
just like this when somebody called to
me that I'd better hurry
EYES," she said breathlessly. I'm.
deed you'd better hurry" But he was
still wandering in the past.
1T seems to mech, they'd sounded
officers call, and that meant the devil
to pay somewhere, don't you know.
But Lucretia was whiting now, dsspond.
emit again, for still he went on: "You
know, I fancied until the very next day
that I'd left the ring here" And, suit.
ing the action to the word, he slippedit
on her finger. "And yet the very next
day, when was on scout I found-I
found it here" And with that he again
replaced it on his own finger. Luoretia's
face was sight to zee. There was an
instant Of silence, and then, failing to
note the expression Of her face, looking
into the dim recesses Of the past, he
again wandered of.
"W course might have known I
couldn't have left It on your finger
without even seeing-without even see-
ing II 1t would At-without'- And
here he lost the thread Of his language
entirely, and. cropping for his glasses.
finding them, distractedly he tried to fit
their spring on Lucretia's finger. Fem
ton, who had Joined the group Of on
lockers, could stand it no longer. Burst
ing into roar of laughter, he came to-
ward them, and, thus interrupted, poor
Wayne dropped both hand and eyeglass,
madly trying to fit his own ring into his
own eye and look through that under
the impression that 1t was monoole
"What on earth are you people laugh
ing at?" he inquired.
! "Laughing att At your trying to
make a spectacle hook Of Lucretia's
hand, you inspired old lunatic, was
Fenton g unfeeling answer, and poor Lu-
cretia, unable to stand the raillery at
the moment turned and fed to the dress.
ing room, leaving Wayne to confront
his tormentors as best he might
But while music and laughter reigned
within the wooden walls Of the assem-
bly, room and many young hearts were
able to cast aside for the time being the
oppression that had settled upon the
garrison earlier in the evening, and
while in some Of the barracks there
were sounds Of merrymaking and Christ
mas cheer, there was raging in many
breast a storm as wild as that that
whirled the snowdrifts in binding
clouds all around and about the guard
house, where score Of seasoned troop
ers, silent, grim and by no means in
love with their task, were keeping
watch and ward over their little batch
Of prisoners, especially Of the covering
wretch who had been slowed away In
the upper room, an utterly friendless
man.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
Good Vino Needs No Bush.

GOOD vino needs no bush" Is explained
by the fact that In former days. both In
England and ON the continent, bush or
living bough hung before the door was the
usual sign Of q wineroon. Embellishments
which became noted for the quality Of
their liquors did not szposs this or any
other sign, and hence the proverb
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
The Divisions Of Her Time.

Young Klinger-Can SEQ your sister,
Rodney
Little Rodney guess so. But don't
s'pose you'll enjoy 1t very much. She's
meditatin now.
"What do you meanf'
"Wby, since she's got engaged to Mr..
Higgins her time Is divided into three
parts-one for prinkin, one for spoonin
and one for maidsnly meditation. When
she's havin the first spasm, she's too
savage to talk to. Durin the second she's
too silly, and durin the last she's too
darned stupid New York World,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
We Must Sail.

find the great thing In this world is
not 60 much where we stand az In what
direction we are moving. To reach the
port Of heaven we must sail sometimes
with the wind and sometimes against
1t, but we must sail and not drift nor
lie at anchor. Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-12-03
Sure Preventive,

Professor, said the fair leader Of
the reform delegation to the retioent
neighborhood philosopher who was sup
posed to know everything, "we're try
ing to make this world better and have
taken the liberty Of seeking your ad.
vice. What is the surest way to pre-
vent divorces in this oountryS"
Don't get married"
And the delegation fled out Do
troit Free Press.