davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09
IRONY OF FATE.

II Pursues Two Eminently Respectable
Ladies Who Could Not Agree.
Not long ago there were two ladies
stopping at the same boarding house.
They were single ladies, be it said, and
both highly respectable. But for some
reason, says the Minneapolis Times,
known only to themselves, they
couldn't get along" and matters went
between them from bad to worse till
they "quit speaking"
They both got tired, Of course, living
In the same house with a mortal enemy,
and finally both determined to move.
Arrangements were made, and, as luck
would have it, both moved the same
day. Lady No. / loaded up her house
hold goods in the morning, and in the
afternoon dray pulled up and car
.ried away the trunk, shawlstraps, and
other effects of lady No. q.
Lady No. was just composing her
self to view the surroundings Of her
new lodging place, when Q wagon
stopped at the front door and began to
unload q collection Of articles unmis-
talably feminine. She sized up the
trunk and went downstairs, filed with
@ horrible suspicion, to interview the
landlady.
Her suspicious were true. They had
moved into the same house.
There is no more to the story. OF
course, they should have made up their
differences and lived in peace and char.
ity ever after. But they did not. Lady
No. 2 never got her trunk inside Of the
house.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09

tion Of the Federal Constitution. the d.
viding line between the free and the
slave holding states. And II could be
said with propriety, to compass the
whole land Of Ethiopia, or black man.
"And the name of the third river is
Hiddekel; that is II which goeth toward
the east OF Assy ria," verse IA.
Mark the expression, 1t goeth toward
the east of Assyria, not from or in 1t, but
toward the east of 1t. Whether or not
Asia was called Assyria when Moses
wrote, do not know. If so, 1t is i'm.
possible for any river to 60 toward the
east of it, and run into the Euphrates,
whi ch runs through the middle OF Asia
from north to south. And the Assyrian
kingdom, being east of it, it is impoesi.
BILE for any river to 60 toward the east
of Assyria and run into the Euphrates.
Now, there is no other known river,
that will coincide with the Heddekel,
but the Missouri, the third of our series.
It rises in the Rocky Mountains, east OF
Assyria, and goeth toward the east OF it.,
and runs into the Mississippi. The
Heddekel going toward the east Of AS
syria, and running into the Euphfates,
shows that both rivers we're east OF AS
syria, when Moses wrote. So were the
Missouri and the Mississippi.
"And the fourth river is the Euphra'
tes," verse IA.
These are the names of the rivers that
we're left in Eden, and not of Assyria,
for he is not talking about them.
This fourth river gave name to the
union of the four that made one, that
went out of Eden. So the Mississippi,
the fourth OF our series, gives names to
the union of the four, which makes the
one that goes out of America. And the
Mississippi is the only known river, one
of whose branches gives names to the
union of rivers.
The Missouri being the largest and the
longest of the series, some think it should
have been called Mississippi. If it hao
been, it would have broken the chain o.
coincidence. But the chain being i'm
perfect it proves that the Euphrates anc
the Mississippi are one and the same
river, and thai America was the land o
Eden, wherein our fathers dwelt before
the flood. They called the first grea
river they saw Euphrates, to perpetuat'
the one they had left, which is a custom
common with all emigrants.
GEO. w. FOREMAN,
III Garfield Place, Cincinnati.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09
SPOILED THE PERFORMANCE.

Alsadventuro That Befoll an Actor In .
Realistic Play.
Last winter number Of literary peo-
pie INDUCED from time to time In anna
teur theatricals. During February
they produced Q comedy. One Of TIM
actors, says London Tid-Bits, played
the part Of burglar and had to climb
up the outside OF the house In whichi
the entertainment was given and en-.
ter through the window, which was e.
the rear of the improvised stage. Hs
hurried around from the dressing.
rooms and valisntly commenced "a
struggle up the wall, when q polioeman
grasped him by the neck. thinking him
q veritable burglar. He started to ex,
plain, but the minion Of the law would
have none Of 1t. The audience was won-
dering in the meantime why the play
did not proceed, and the young actosu
and actresses ON the stage were eagerly
waiting for the burglar TO enter and
give them the one, when they heard
shrieks. yells. oatha and threats from
the garden. Rushing ont, they found
the amateur burglar thrashing wildly
about til, grass, while brawny po1too>
man sat ON his shoulders ham1aaxins
his neck into the mud.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09
HIs LEo . PULLED.


That q uew . oe1thsrA OoagxeeDnnAA
nsgae1s Hls Lee.
''some people may think thai . con-
gressman saves pile Of money out o&
his salary" said wsll-known southsgn|
congressman, who was talking to .,
Warrington Star reporter on the vicis-
situdes of running for Office, and e.
pecially for congress, "but man has to
be small walking bank TO accommo-
date the large number Of his shiends'
and supporters who need o little money
for some urgent matter. In my state
we have to make campaigns and appear
before the people at meetings. Well. I
have never attended a meeting but that
I did not have some kind of q subscrip-
tion poled into my face. Somebody
wants something for q church and for
missionary purposes or for helping
some fellow who has been burned out
"You can't avoid subscribing, and
have to head the list with the largest
sum. Then about the time you think
you are through with having your leg
pulled some lazy fellow will walk up
and say: How do, gineral?' I had ter
quit my work ter come out and hear you
terday, and thunk yer mout Civ me
. dollar While you have the greatest
contempt for the man, you give him the
dollar.
"When you leave the meeting you are
out anywhere from 500 to $50. These
are Just few instances Of what candi.
date has to spend money for. After he
gets through the campaign and is elected
he has to furnish every dead beat from
his district who should happen to come
to Washington with money. I've &C
tually given them money and railroad
tickets to get home and have them &c
back and work against me-"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09
BOO OF TNE IRON Mask.

A1thOueh On1y - AxlDtooEat0 Doosae q
Dsssavs1 ~ Daeese l1ongssl.
A relative who Lives In one Of the cne-
time fashiouab1e mansious now -
come studsa*S boarding houses. In thsl
south end, tells me . pretty good seos1
OF q dog, says . reporter for the Boseea
Post. In the yard, where . founte
wa once known TO play, but where nul
dust ga*hes1 u N iron stntue OF . do94
The from dog watches end guards ~
old fountain, but he In his turn hAD o1
admirer and adorer. The other dayi
hunting for another dog to 60 out end
play tag with him, came . young stress
mongrel. He was unaccustomed to the
ways of aristocracy, and in his sample
ignorance supposed TINT anything thsa
looked like dog was dog.
Up to the statue he bounded barking
and wagging his tail. In stately im-
mobility the iron dog gazed on out into
vacancy. This did not deceive thd
other. He had seen plenty Of dogs as1
sumo Just that naughty and abstracte6
manner when they did not care TO fight,
Wishing to show his iron friend that hel
appreciated his attitude, but assuring
him of no evil intention, the dog from
the street kept ON barking and wagging!
his tail. He even ran around his friend
q number Of times to show that there
was no ill-will-as Is the manner Of
dogs. But the dog Of the iron mask did
mot bulge. My relative says that he IL
sure that even If the street dog had
brought around cat to chase the iron
dog would have remained unmoved. A
red Irish setter came out finally and
called the street dog away. The latter
went with distinct traces of reluctance
in his manner. He liked the style Of
that iron dog and had rather play in his
ward with him.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09
IHoRsELEss SLEIGH INVENTED.

WIN Run ON Snow and Ice and Evsa in
the Water.
Motors for rhorselesssleighs are among
the latest novelties at the patent ofine.
They are light, powerful affairs, and
can be run by an amateur as easily "a
those attached to horseless carriages.
The sleighs are designed, says the New
York World, to run, either ON the SNOW
or ice. A pair Of spurred wheels =
arranged between the runners, and
with little lever the driver can adjusA
them so that they will work on the so&t
snow just as smoothly as upon icA One
.fnventor has also provided against the
danger of breaking through the icek
His sleigh II formed something lilce &
boat, and Is perfectly water tight. -
the ice should break the sleigh would
ihoat, and the ice spurs would act q
paddle wheels in bringing you to shers
again.
One patent il for . sleigh that may b.
rowed across tho ice. On tho end o&
each oar is heavy weight with SHARP
steel point to cut into the ice. Anothee
rowboat for the ice is rugged with slid-
ing seat and legs with sharp spurs,
which catch into the ice and shove the
boat forward each time the rover pulls-
Considerable speed is obtained by this
arrangement, although the rowing II
not as easy as upon the water.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09
The Discovery Saved His Life.

Mr.. G. Caillouette, Druggist, Beavers
vile, ILL.,, says: "To DR.. Kings New
Discovery I owe my life. Was taken
with La Grippe and tried all the ply.
sicians for miles about, but of no avail
and was given up and told could not
live. Having DR.. Kings New Discovery
in my store l sent for bottle and began
its use and the first dose began to get
better, and after using three bottles was
up and about again. 1t is worth its
weight in gold. We won't keep store OF
house without it," Get free trial al
Fullerton & Co.'s Drug Store.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09
ARRIVING At CONCLUSIONS.


Unique Methods Of Reasoning which
Some People Adopt.
Charles Daniels, q member of con-
gress from Buffalo, served % years on
the New York supreme court bench
before he was elected to congress. Re-
Gently, in talking over old law cases
with number Of lawyers, says ths
Troy Times, he told story which was
q dazzling illustration Of the unique
methods pursued by some people
to arrive ct conclusions. The case
in question was that Of man named
Greenfield, living in Oswego county.
who had been convicted in the lower
court Of the murder Of his wife. Tho
case was carried to the court Of sp-
Ipeals, which reversed the finding Of the
lower court. A special hearing was
ordered by the governor. This waA
held at Syracuse, and Judge Daniels
Iwas called upon to preside. In examin-
ing the jurors, one man said that he
was prejudiced in the matter. When
asked If he had CLEANED his prejudice
from the papers or by talking with I'm,
iterested parties or by hearsay, he re1
piled to every question that he didn'e
know thing about the, case, but that
he was nevertheless prejudiced he
was excused, but Judge Daniels wa
mot satisfied, and he sent the sheriff
and had the juror brought to him. BE
asked him where he had gained his
prejudice. The fellow replieds =
don't know anything about the casa,
but the lawyers made such idiots Of
themselves in examining the Jurors
that knew the man must be guilty" !"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09

Mrs. Vansock Gndignantly)-Mrs.
O'Lone, the color all came out of my
new table cover on the account of the
horrible washing flued you use.
Mrs. O'Lone OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
moind, mum, shure it all went into the
other clothes, mum.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09

"Bridget, you've broken as mucil
china this month as your wages amounll
to. Now, how can we prevent this oc
curing again ?"
"Oi don't know, mum. unless yes
raises me wages"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09

''Give me liver regulator and ! can
regulste the world" said genius. The
druggist banded him bottle OF DeWitt's
Little Early Risers, the famous little
pills. W. r. Smith & Co.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09

Pure blood is the safeguard of health
Keep the blood pure with Hoods Sarsa
parilla if you would always be we'll.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09

A charitable old country dame, shock.
ed at the ragged aspect Of q wayfarer,
kindly offered to mend bis clothes for
him. "Thankee, num-" replied the
tramp; "I've got button here, If you
would kindly sew q shirt onto it."
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-09

Loch is at the end of it about 90 miles
ahead"
"How far is it from London ?" yelled
Swipes. putting his hands beside his
mouth 10 make the sound carry.
'The middle of Craigneputtoch Loch
is just $40 miles from London, and it Is
over 1000 feet deep in the middle"
shouted Peter.
There's where she's making for"
cried Swipes, unbuckling the straps and
.clinging to the stool.
The hills now rose grandly around m
in the darkness and we saw the black
water of the loch.
Jump, Peter, jump!" cried Swipes.
rs he threw OF the straps.
Peter did so. and cut the strap that
held me. Instantly we were all-Peter,
the stoker, Swipes and myself-lying
on the hillside on the heather. The
doomed train had plunged right intn
the center of tho lake. It had com.
pleted it's 610-mile race and used up the
fraction by sinking 1000 feet to thu
bottom.
Luckily, none Of NJ were hurt In thu
slightest, with the exception thai
Ewipes sustained . compound fracturs
Of the thigh. Peter bad both arms bro
ken. Jones had all his ribs and one anlLll
smashed, while I had my veracity
sprained 20 badly That NO one has eve,
been able to believe word I have at
tered since.-Detxoit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14

Note the fact that Cong. Nc
Cleary voted against the bill ap-
propriating 500 to be allowed
members for clerk hire. This bill
would allow members to attend
their own clerical work and pocket
the allowance, or at least they
could hire clerk for less than
half that amount and pocket the
balance. The action of McCleary
is commendable by every one and
should be considered and remem-
bered by his constituents when
the time for nomination arrives
and his election this fall.
The St. Paul Globe says: eve
take pleasure in noting that the
little schoolmaster from the Sec
ond district opposed this piece of
i%2pudent thievery.
G. S. Eastwood, of Mankato, spent
a few days during the week here.
He is now devoting his entire time
to real estate business for the North
ern Pacific Railroad Company. His
interest lying mainly in Becker
county, where he has been lnstru-
mental in moving over sixty families
into. This part of the state being
new and yet undeveloped promises to
become fine location to people seek
ing new fields and DESTROYS of OBJ
tanning home. Mr.. Eastwood
speaks in glowing terms of the adj
vantages of this county and will no
doubt be successful in developing
this part of the state and building up
thriving town, of which he has the
honor of locating and naming East
wood.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
POpulist Convention.

The Peoples Party second con
gressional district convention will be
held at 3 o'clock p. M, June 10th
1896 at Marshall MINI. Counties
will be entitled to representation as
follows: Blue Earth, ~; Brown, ID;
Cottonwood,7; Chippewa, 8; Fari-
bault, /; Jackson, s; Lincoln, 7; Lyon
II; Lac Qni Parle, H.. Martin, 5;
Murray, 9; Nicollet, 8; Mobiles, 5;
Pipestone, 8; Redwood, 8; Rock, 3;
Oatonwan. 4, Yellow Medicine, II.
Hon. Ignatius Donnelly and Hon. S.
NJ. Owen are expected to be present
to address the convention,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
Firemens Tournament.

/, The annual meeting Of the Column
bus Interstate Firemens Associa-
ton was held at Pipestone last week,
Tuesday. The following officers
were elected:
Pres. w. G. Smith, Rock Rapids.
Treas. H. A. Nicols, %
Sec. L. J. Norton,
LIST Vice Pres. W. I, Wallon,, Ellsw'th
End e g A. H. Palm, Worthington.
i Rock Rapids fire department guar
anteeing $500. Rock Rapids was Sc
lected as the place for holding the
coming tournament on July 3rd and
4th.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
LECTRIC .BITTERS.

Electric Biiters is a medicine suited
for any season, but perhaps more gen.
orally needed, when the languid ex-
hausted feeling prevails, when the
liver is torpid aud sluggish and the
need of tonic and Alternative is felt.
Aprompt use of this medicine has
often averted long and perhaps fatal
bilious feAers. No medicine will act
more surely in counteracting and free
ing the system from malarial poison.
Headache, Indigestion, Constipation,
Dizziness yield to Electric Bitters. SO
cents and $1.O0 per bottle at RAY
HUMIsTON's Drug Store.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14

Moline Organs and Singer Sewing
Machines, Sold and Delivered to neigh.
bors, in and around Worthington.
Terms to suit customers. Prices &C.
cording to qaality. am kept busy all
the time in selling and collecting,
Repairing sewing machines q speci-
atty. Supply for all or any sewing
machine on hand.
CAROLUs O. PETERSON, Agt.,
4sz. ii, ~. Worthington, Mimi,
Office at residence-next to Sw. church.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
Anniversary Meeting.

The Epworth League will cefe.
brate the seventh anniversary of the
seventh organization of the society
next Sunday evening, in place of the
regular preaching service. They
hope to see all their friends present,
both young and old. Following is
the program which will commence at
8o'clock sharp:
Musical Prelude,
Anthem,
Opening Work,
Prayer.
Song,
The Epworth League. Miss Dow,
= The League in the working plan of
Methodism. Rev. w. A. Putnam
Anthem, -. ..... ~. ,
Our League, Chapter 925
y Miss Baxter.
r A Model Business Meeting,
..........-......E. w. Sinnett,
League Rally Song.
Benediction.
These topics were given at the re-
cent district convention in Luverne
and considered two of the best given.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
WoRTHIN6T0n ADVANCE.

PUBLISHED EVERY rHuRsDAy.
H,HAWLEY, a. - EditOr.
OFFICIAL PAPER OF MOBILES COUNTY,.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT WoRTHING-
TON. MINNESOTA. 5000
Terms OF subscription: Three months 40 cts {;
six months rs cts; one year $3.50. Invariably
in advance.
Rates for standing advertisements made
known on application.
Businesscard Is. a year. =
Local advertisements S cents per line each
insertion.
Reading notices 10 cents per line each inser-
ton.
All accounts payable monthly
- ---------------==
How about the Republican Club7
Politics are warming up rather
early in some parts of the state.
Candidates for county officials are
being placed before the people.
Cong. McCleary's bill to grant
William Brown, of Vernon Center, a
pension, passed the house last week
Wednesday.
Nobody need be alarmed about
what the St. Louis convention will
! do. The Republican party has never
Idodged responsibility and will not
begin now, when everybody is look
ing to the party to bring about re-
turn of prosperity.
Geo. w. Sommerville, the sage of
Sleepy Eye, has been running around
this congressional district the past
week telling everybody what an able
statesman he is and how badly he
wants to step into Congressman Nc
Cleary's shoes. We are ably repre-
scented in congress now, George, and
the people of the Second district see
no reason for making change
Hills Crescent,
During the past week the strength
of Mckinley has increased very much
and there seems to be no doubt of
his nomination. The sentiment
of the Republicans being SO
clearly in favor of him it will
be impos sible for the national con-
vention to ignore that sentiment and
present some other candidate to
the people for their support.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
Papers Cheap.

The following papers will be furn-
ished with the ADVANCE at prices
named below. The papers are we'll
known and need no recommendation
The rates named are strictly in ad.
vance.
The Penny Press, daily, $3.50 per W
Chic Svenska Trib wkly ESQ
Pioneer Press $50
New York Tribune " $50
Chicago Int. Ocean " $50
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14

By adding 29,399- positions to
those already under the civil war SER
vice rules, President Cleveland has
wrought wellefor future generations
and, incidentally, for those of his
friends who are already in the SER
vice.
The democrats ought to show their
appreciation of this action and en-
deavor to return him to the White
House. He however recognizes their
inability to do so and while he has
an opportunity, will take advantage
of his last chance in rewarding as
many of his fellows as possible.
Several schemes have. been talked
of to defeat McCleary's renomina-
ton but have met with apparent fail
ure. The last of these was the pro-
posed candidacy of Ed. Weaver of
Mankato. Now that gentleman has
refused to become a candidate, we
are wondering what new scheme will
be adopted. In regard to the ego
tism we think that the reputation as
a statesman that McCleary has won
during the short period that he has
served in congress is enough to de-
velop the ego in almost anyone.-At-
water Republican.
One very noticeable thing is the
extreme anxiety oh the part of the
populist newspapers to secure a Sc
cond republican candidate for con-
gress in opposition to Hon. J. T. Nc
Cleary. 1t is really surprising to
think that they can find so many
good republicans. Why don't they
trot out their own good candidates
and leave the nomination of repub-
lican candidate to the republicans?
Simply because they would rather
buck any other man in the Second
district at the polls next November
than Mr.. McCleary. If the republic
cans are satisfied to have McCleary
for their candidate it ought not to
"cut any ice" with the populists, but
it does.-Murry Co. Herald ::
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
The Minneapolis Penny Press,

The Minneapolis Penny Press.
1t is published on the cooperative
plan, and is the only daily paper in
the Twin Cities advocating the free
coinage Of silver, and defending the
rights of the people. Full telegra-
phic reports and markets. 1t will be-
dubbed with the ADVANCE at $3.50
per year for both papers. Sample
copies free.
- r.. <zsat. .NAt ~ S..
D.. Prices Cream Balkiax Powder -
Psty Ysaes ~ Stoo1sea. : ~
-..l $50 A. 27 s.EE - i7Ts-.-,SE nd ga ;Sgg
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14

Gov. Clough is evidentally in the
lead at the present time. The fact
of his being supported by those men
who know him we'll will give him a
prestige of Importance in the eyes CT
the general public. No fault has
been found with his administration,
and it being customary to give an
official second term, the chances
are largely in favor Of Governor
Clough.-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
EN-

To solicit orders for hardy nursery
stock, ornamental treec and shrubs;
both city and country work. Big
pay; steady work; good territory near
home. 40-S
l. L.mAY & CO., St, Paul, MINI,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1896-05-14
FRANK HANSBERGEF
90. PROPRIETOR Of.
Eureka
7 #H Meat
/ Market

We carry a full line of the choic-
est meats to be had. Game and
Fish in season. Give US a call.