Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1896-08-30

! it gradually dawned on me that this was
not poker game, but some social point
| that l did not understand. Aunt Maria,
| hearing the conversation. appeared on
! the scene, took up the literary remains
of James Philip Gudgins, united and
read them, rushed into the house anu
! brought out one of my cards, one OF
| Nanny's and one of Uncle Timothy 5,
J which had been written by the hotei
clerk when he was on his wedding trip.
These were laid upon the tray, and II
was supposed, by me at least, that
James Philips ideas Of etiquette were
| now satisfied.
Aunt Maria seemed surprised that l
/ had never heard of this way of announ-
cling a funeral. She said it was aristo-
crate. and she also said it was very
praiseworthy in James Philips widow
to take so much trouble about him, be-
cause, when he was living, he had been
know why funerals in the country al
so sighting in his ways. l do not
ways take place N the heat of the after
noon, but they do. Long before the
time the fences, the p,azzas and the
horse-biock were decorated with the
men and boys from the village who
have
COME TO SEE THE SHOW.
Later on, those who have been hon
ored with invitations, as well as all the
kin, drive up, the men suffering agony
in their black clothes, and the women,
in a subdued way, having very COCOA
time.
refused to enter the house, and Uncle
Timothy told me afterwards that jim
Philip looked quite natural, though na
had paled some, especially about ina
nose. From what | had heard about
Jim Philip I imagined that this was
an Improvement. Going to the funeral
we took in Mis- Tomlinson, and l never
knew before how agreeable she was.
She is great on funeral manners, and
she had her handkerchief at just the
right angle while her little finger, cloth
ed in black, poked cut as 1t should, ana
she went in a lady-like fashion, drop
ming a tear about every half hour and
nor allowing herself to become excited.
She tod us Of widOwers who had
mourned for three weeks and then got
ten married; she told us Of widows who
could not bear to look at the dead, and
who had been flirting with tn deacOns
after the funeral Indeed, Mis- Tom
linson made me think that people w=re
very foolish TO die, inasmuch as their
going meant entire forgetfulness OF
fhcm and their goodness. Uncle limo
tthy. who has a decided sense CT humor,
added his funeral story. lie said ne
heard of an Irish funeral where the
children CT the deceased s-nt a wreath
marked Papa" as the flowers were lift
ed from the hearse TO be put on the
grave the first letter dropped off, and,
to the horror of the family, it was seen
that
THE WREATH WAS MARKED "APA'
This was enough. The dead man was
forgotten. and the honor and glory OF
County Roscommon was maintained.
There was a free fight, and collection
was taken up for Jh= widow. whose only
regret was that her man was not there
10 throw back the insult with a hot
iron. But / think mine was the best
funeral story.
My mother had a maid named En-
incline who had lived with her for many
years. she was a typical Southern dar-
key with an admiration for bright col
oIs, a laugh as cheerful as possible, an
immense amount of sympathy for any
body who was i'll CT in trouble, a rever-
ence for the family in which she lived,
the Southern ability TO cook when it was
necessary, a belief that nobody was like
her Missy" and an admiration for
mourning and delight in funeral that
nobody could surpass. For years En-
meline's father had been known to the
family as Uncle Cole" This good old
colCred gentleman paid us an occasional
visit, and there was a rumor that his
age was some place N the nighborhood
of one hundred and twenty-five and that
he was
LIKELY TO LIVE FOREVER
No cavalier ever surpassed Uncle
Cole in gallantry; while his knowledge
in regard to who was who and what
was what was so great that b would
have been a wonderful help to the COM
pler of an American Burke Late enc
night the news was brought by small
boy that Uncle Cole was dead and that
lEmmoline, she had better hurry up TO
look at the remains, and that SIS said
she had better bring all the money that
she had
Emmeline had not been living amid
her present surroundings and to her age
without having due respect for appear
ances, cons qusnly that night she
started out to borrow her mourning, and
the next day, escorted by three enormous
f'arkeys, her special admirers, she went
off to the train that would take her to
where Uncle Cole had abided. The pro-
cessiOn, as it went down the hill, was
touching in the extreme. Emeline is
very light in color and has very trim
figure. She seemed shrouded in long
Grape veil. She leaned on the arm of
her favored admirer, Theodore, IA
nous cook in a restaurant, while the
less favored adOreres walked arm in arm
behind. The darkeys for at least two
blocks down the street gazed at this
pageant with admiration, and whenever
Emmeline thought the group was big
enough she rested her head on Theo-
dore's shoulder and mournfully sobbed
out. "Uncle Cole were always decent TO
me-" Sunday was the day set for the
funeral, consequently Emmeline's ad-
mirers were expected to go out on that
dav. They were met at the station by
a small boy Familiarity known as Rag
ged Jim" H greeted them with a
smile. and inquired, Gentlemen, l hopes
you has brought your weepings?' They
proved this by bringing forth two ra-
zcrs and a pistol. Then Ragged jim
1921 Tho arlstncra.ic cOntingenl 10