Middletown transcript., 1896-04-18

| II A3YH urday." The fol-
/ ScaH1IVkNl lowing "How to
I ,Xa&oET1V cook Him. from
an Iowa lady will
- zs5 interest both the
manager and manage:
| A good many husbands are utt4riy
spoiled by mismanagtm.n,. S,ma ao-
men gn about as II their husbands were
bal..,ns, and blnw them ~. . hers
/! keen hem et,as AZ, " in h, WI. .r:
nlhers let them fi,z. hv hd4ffrrt, e..
and cHrtlessness S mp keep them IN
As ew by irritating wa,s and words.
Others oast them. Same keep them in
pickle all their lives. Ii cannot be sup
posed that any husband will be tender
and good if managed in this way. but
they are really delicious when properly
treated. In selecting your husband,
do not go to market for him, as the
bert are always brought to your door.
It is far better TO have none, uuless you
will patiently learn how to govern him.
See that the linen in which you
wrap him is properly washed and
mended, with the required number of
buttons and strings tightly sewed on.
Tie him in the kettle by a strong silk
cord called 'comfort,' as the one called
duty is apt to be we. k. They are
apt to fall out Of the kettle, and le
burned and crusty on the edges, since.
like crabs and oysters, you have to cook
them while alive. Ii he sputtels and
fuses, do not be anxious-some hus-
bands do this until they are called done.
Add little sugar in the form of what
the confectioners call kisses, but no
vinegar or pepper on any account. A
little spice improves them, but
it must be used with judgement.
Do not stick any sharp instrument into
him to see it he is tender or becoming
SO. Stir him gently, watching the
while lest he adhere to the kettle, and
so become us, less. You cannot fail
to know when heS is done. If this
treatme 1t is closely followed you will
find him all that is desirable; but do
not be careless with him and keep him
in cool place.
-
Never acknowledge yourself beaten
but make the w wlrld believe you are
prosperous and prosperity will come.
There is more truth lin this precept
than many people realize, not only in
business relations, but in social life as
well. If you succumb to financial diff
ficulties and sink gradually to lower
level, acquire slovenly, or at least
careless habit of dress, aud become re-
firing and distrustful, soon you find
yourself deserted by your friends as
you suppose, wheras in reality it is you
who desert them. In the press of
modern life there is no time to stop and
look after those who fall by the way
side. and it is much easier to keep a
footing than to regain it if once lost.
Never let your right hand know how
poor your left hand is" is another
worldly axiom that the children Of this
generation find profitable to follow.
and this suggests problem. How Is it
that Jones, who failed djsastrously last
year, and who, it is said, lost every
penny and more besides, is apparently
still rolling in wealth.? And how does
he manage to keep his carriage with
ta o men on the box and go OH giving
dinner parties to his smart friends
whenever it seems good to him to do
so? II was only last week that the
newspapers announced that he would
not pay so cents on the dollar, and yet
his wife has just ordered gown from
Nine. X--, who, every one knows,
is one of the most expensive dress
makers in town. Who pays for the
dinners, and the carriage, and the
gownsp And if they are not paid for
how does Jones manage it, and why
can he not let US all into the secret?
Then, again, there are people who
make what one would imagine
to be an ample income, and who
yet talk as if they we're positively
poor, and who deny themselves not only
the luxuries of life, but often the nec-
essities of pleasant existence. Why
is it that some people haze nothing,
and yet seem TO possess everything,
aud others have sufficiency and yet
seem to lack SO much that makes life
cOmfortableP
-
A MODE HUSBAND.
Newwed- biscuits don't
taste much like those my mother used
to make.n
Mrs. Newwed-"I try SO hard to
please you, Fred"
Newwed-s'Who said you didn't
please me, darling? II my mother had
the knaek Of making such biscuit rs
these, my fatlstr might have lived
twenty s.als hhetr Han t,r did,"
***
Women who allow a letter To rem ain
unanswered are rs discourteous as
though they refused to reply toa spoken
question.
You may rest assured that the big
man who isa tyrant over the few en-