The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1896-05-23
REVENGED AT LAST.
''N NfHAT have you got to do this
NIX Y EVENING"" said Cymthe.
wv Nothing whatever" 1 re-

piled.
"Well." said he, Il have a couple Of
seats for the California. Don't you want
to Gomez
Il should be delighted. my dear boy"
And in a few minutes we were in cab,
rolling toward the theater.
Scarcely had we settled ourselves in our
seats when 1 saw entering the row in
front of us a tall, thin blonde, who seated
herself in the chair Immediately in front
of mine. And then 1 saw with stupefac-
ton that she wore upon. her head a
curious sort of hat cooked down in front
and cooked up uenimd, garnished with
flowers, with vegetables, with ShrubS-in
fact, a Veritable garden. AS she had
cooked her cooked hat over her eyes it
resulted that the rear of this vegetable
garden lowered above the top of her
blond chignon, so that l could see no
more of the stage than if I had been in
far Cathay.
The bell rang; the curtain rose; I heard
voices-presumably of actors-but it was
impossible for me to tell. At the risk of
acquiring a telescope neck l leaned to
the right then to the left. But had not
counted on the balloon sleeves of the
blonde, which were perfect monsters of
swollen silk. and which masked COM
pletely both wings of the stage, as her
hat did the middle.
Holy smoke! said I to my friend;
that hat is going to be rather nuis-
ance."
The blonde lady heard me; she turned
slightly, put up her lorgnon and sur
| veyed me with the utmost haughtiness.
Then, struggling her shoulders, she pulled
up her sleeves, so that it was impossible
for me to see even the proscenium arch.
Then she braced up her feet against the
chair in front. and hoisted herself up a
| few inches, so that by this gymnastic
feat she succeeded in elevating her vege-
table garden even more than before.
In melancholy tone l said to Cmythe:
1t seems to me / would have been bet
| ter off If 1 had stayed at the club and
| toasted my toes at the cafe in front of
the fire. / would not have been incom-
NODDED or disconnected, and 1 would have
seen fully as much of this piece as / am
| seeing now"
Hearing this. the blonde lady turned
| around once more and favored me with
the most sneering smile that / have ever
seen. 1t provoked me, and [ determined
| to give her a lesson if l could, for 1
might as well have been in a theater-
| phone listening at "A telephone. / could
! hear. but I could see nothing. Voices
| female voiceS-confusedly came to my
ear. You know how perplexing it is when
| you cannot see the personages upon the
stage, when you cannot note their ges-
| lures nor the play of their faces. But
| the first act terminated amid roars of
applause. A man / knew. three seats 10
| my right, was shaking with laughter
| Everybody in the theater seemed to be
intensely amused In the play except my
self. And the blode lady would sTill turn
from time TO time and favor me again
with her sneering smile.
Seated Immediately in front of the
| blonde lady was a very little man who
looked like a hunchbaclt. his head was so
sunken between his shoulders I looked
at him carefully. He had the appearance
of being deadhead, owing to his rather
| shabby attire ] tapped him on the shout
der and asked him if he would go out with
me between the acts for a few minutes
When we were outside | said to him:
My dear sir have a particular inter
| terest in occupying your chair No 49, If
you will pardon the liberty 1 take 1 would
| like to give you this trife Q slipped a s.
piece into his hand), and in exchange L
would like to have your seat and you may
have mine, No. 3d."
The little mans face lighted up with
| pleasure. He Slipped my So piece into his
| waistcoat pocket and said: Certainly.
my dear sir. You are very good. 1 will
take your seat with pleasure"
Thus l was placed in possession of seat
| ~. New | could see the stage but still
was not revenged. My first idea was 10
| install myself there wearing my own high
| hat, but L reflected that this manifesto
| ton might not be understood would seem
| discourteous to the actors, and that I
| would be forced to take II off Suddenly
an idea flashed across my mind-an in
| SEPARATION. l left the theater and walked
a block or two until came to a millin-
er's shop. l entered and demanded of
| the saleswoman to sell me hat-the most
gigantic, the most arboriferous. the most
| pyramidical hat she had. She opened a
| drawer and exhibited to me monument
in black felt, with an enormous knob of
| black velvet upon its top. and on top of
| the black velvet knob a puff of black
| flowers, extremely high Without hag-
| Cling / paid her the price and swiftly re-
| turned to the theater.
To the stupefaction Of Cmythe. who
was still seated I'm his chair, No. 90 7
| seated myself in No 49, Immediately be-
fore the blonde lady with the big hat
and then. with a perfectly serious coun
tenance, placed upon my head the black
velvet monument. I do not know what
sort of a figure 1 cut with my long mus
taches under the velvet hat. but if a bomb
had burst in the orchestra it would not