davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19

No AutoRrsph for Her.

The new girl was treasure, and tie
mistress of the house is still quakipg over
the narrow escape size had from losing her
the other day.
On the morning of the day upon which her
wages became due her mistress requested
her to step into the study, where he master
was waiting to pay her. In few moments
she rushed from the study to the kitchen,
where she had left her mistress. and in less
time than Intakes to narrate had given the
astonished lady notice that size was going
to leave.
But whatever is the matter. Mary" in
uuired her mistress. what has your mas
tersaid or done to annoy your"
HE hasn't said nuthin,'' replied Mary as
she fIourished check in her mistress ia.r,
but he's given me this for month"; slavery.
Not me; 1 amt no ortygraph collector, I
ain't.'-Cincinnati Enquirer
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
He Rose TO the Occasion.

The curtain had risen on the last act of
the play and the diaboiical plot of the
villain was about to be exposed in all its
hideousnesS. Suddenly there was COM
motion near the entrance and VOICE
called out breathlessly: is DR.. Kailomeil
in the audence?" With the grave pre-
occupied manner of a man on whose skill
the life of some fellow creature might
depend, the doctor rose from his seat near
The stage and passed slowly down the aisle.
what is it," he asked. Doctor" said
the breathless one, as he drew from his
breast pocketa packa ge of acknowledgements,
I'm Spotcash & Co.'S new collector
Would it be convenient for you to settle
that little bill this evening?"-Sheffield
tEng.l Telegraph.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
Etiquette.

Pardon mo. Cousin Jay, but you should
not eat with your knife" said Mrs. Cittily.
addressing her rural relative. ut is not
According to the rules of etiquette, you
know
Hob. What's the sense of eterket, any
howl" airiy ans ered the visitor from the
wilds of Waybaek county. pau using in the
midst of an interesting exhibition of amateur
sword swallowing. Il amt no dude!
..IkDow you are not, Cousin Jay ,butthere
is a sensible reason for that rule. You are
very liable to cut your mouth with the knife.
That is one reason why you should always
use a fork in conveying food to your mouth"
Hob! That ain tho reason atall! A Teller
that amt got sense enough to keep from
cuttin' his mouth with knife would he
Just as likely to jab it with fork."-World.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
PRINCIPAL Value.

Teacher-Tel me, Johnnie, what is the
principal value Of history?
Johnnie Chaffie One dollar.
Teacher One dollar
Johnnie Chaffie Yes: you get the histories
from the bookstore for So copy and make
US boys pay So for them. Texas SiftiDgs
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
1denlisn, and Realism.

Professor WHAT'S the difference be-
tween idealism and realism?
Varsity Girl -Idealism is when you Con-
template matrimony.
Professor Yes; and realism?
Varsity Girl get that afterward.-
Philadelphia Review.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

A glance at the eyes of many of the
street car conductors shows that something
is the matter. The eyes are red about the
edges of the lids and are sometimes 80
famed. One of the conductors said: 1.-THE
trouble is limited to conductors Of open
cars. andis caused by lifelong brass hanuies
at the end Of each row Of seats, which
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
DisarniinE Him

"Your mother never made worse pie
than this. did she. john
well, ii she did, my dear. the effect is
nicely ia lanced, because she never gave me
so large a piece."-Clcveland Plain Dealer.
The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1896-07-19
Better Method.

She think Mr.. Belasco made a mistake
in dragging Mrs. Carter around by her hair
to teach her the robustness Of acting.
He-what would have teen better
method?
She He should have put her on bicycle
and let her ia II off-Buffalo Times.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
SENATOR LOGAN.

In speech delivered in the senate, John A. Logan said: q can see as a result of this legislation (the demone- tization of silver) our business opera tions crippled and wages for labor re- duced to mere pittance I can see the beautiful prairies of my own state and the great west, which are bloom ing as gardens with cheerful homes rising as white towers along the path ways of improvement, again sinking back to idleness. I can see the hopes of the industrious farmers blasted. I can see our people of the west groan- ing and burdened under taxation to pay debts of states, counties and cit ies, incurred when money was abun- dant, and bright hopes of the future were held out to lead them on. I can see the people of our western states. who are producers, reduced to the con- dition Of serfs to pay interest on public and private debts to the sharks of Wall street, New York, and of Thread needle street. London, England"
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
THE IDAHO PLAN.

In 1894 the Republican state conven- ton of Idaho declared for the free and unlimited coinage of silver at a ratio of 16 to l. A few days ago at a con- ference of the leading Republicans of the state 1t was decided that the party has not changed it's mind on the money question and still stands on the platform of the last state conven- tion. ...
 At the Idaho state convention soon to be held Republican electors will be named that if elected will cast their votes for Bryan and Sewall. A Re publican state ticket will be nomi- mated and the contest in Idaho will be local one on local issues.
 The Republicans of Idaho are for silver and by this plan they do not stultify themselves and they prevent the destruction of their party in the state.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

If an educated white girl, of suff1- cient age to know her own business, voluntarily leaves a respectable and comfortable home to wed and live with a Chinaman in a Chinese den, why should the law attempt to pursue her? Why should sympathy be vast ed in her behalf. As we make our bed in this world SO must we lie in 1t. If the girl weds a pig-tail she must keep 1t braided. She is simply dead to her parents and her people, and should be buried from sight.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
THE MORAL SHOCK.

A cable dispatch from Berlin re- gently informs us that at Havel Lake '4he other day." several members of the Second Guard artillery went in swimming without the formality of securing bathing clothes. It was in very retired spot, and as they emerged from the water a carriage rolled by containing the sister of the empress. The cable tells us that 'tshe was shocked beyond expression. became kysterical and tainted"
 There is a record of a case in Con Recticut wherein it appears that two syinsters complained of a number of men who were in the habit of bathing i1r the Housatonic river every evening at certain hour The men were Brought to trial charged with indecent exposure, etc. The attorney for the prisoners demanded that the jury be given view of the spot in the river where the men bathed, likewise the residence of the spinsters.
 This was granted and it appeared Chat the bathers could be seen only from one corner of a garret window of the house of the spinsters, nearly ens-haH mile away.
 Returning to court the spinsters were further interrogated and it came to Eght the fact that for the purpose of better view the spinsters made use of a lcng spyglass, and that there was Ao occasion to nor did they eyer use ST yisit the aforesaid garret for any other purpose at any other hour of the day.
 Tine verdict in the latter case was not guilty
 FL the former, the cable says that ehe emperor has placed the entire guard under arrest and severe punish nents are being meted out to the sol diera in the hope of discovering the guilty parties.
 Qusry-''Was it the lady or the Sfger2~
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
PROGRESS AND POWER.

After November next the street cars Ell the city of Buffalo will be run by electricity generated at Niagara falls. This is the first experiment in the transmission of electrical power for commercial purposes over any consid- araible distance, and it's success, of which no doubt is entertained, will mark great practical advance in the development of the uses of electricity and will give greater promise for the future.
 The Niagara electrical plant is ex- ceptional in its capacity; there Is noth- ing like it elsewhere in the country for it's power of production is practi- eally unlimited. But there are many cities within easy distance of water
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

The action of the city council i'm posing a tax upon outsiders doing business in the city is commendable. Our merchants pay taxes, pay licenses, and are in fact our principle mainstay. Why should they be compelled to compete with those who pay nothing and are permitted the liberty of enter ing towns and underselling the legiti- mate dealer? We are in favor of pro- tection to our merchants.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
NONE BUT AYERS AT THE
 WORLDS FAIR.

Ayers Sarsaparilla enjoys the ex- traordinary distinction of having been the only blood purifier allowed an ex- hibit at the Worlds Fair. Chicago. Manufacturers of other sarsaparillas sought by every means to obtain a showing of their goods, but they were all turned away under the application or the rule forbidding the entry of patent medicines and nostrums. The decision of the Worlds Fair authori- ties in favor of Ayers Sarsaparilla was m effect as follows: Ayers Sarsapa- r1lla is not a patent medicine. It does not belong to the list of nostrums. It is here on it's merits."
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

If the people of this valley can do anything to further the scheme of a safe in saying that it will be done. The persons and corporations more directly interested should meet, adopt plans, reduce everything to certainty of detail and then point out just what they desire the people to do by way of assistance and encouragement.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Sufferers from sick headache, indi- gestion, and biliousness may alwsys find speedy relief in the use of Ayers Pills. There is no other medicine in pharmacy which goes so directly to the source of these maladies and brings about so thorough and radical a cure, They cleanse the stomach, liver and bowels, and, to certain extent, puri- fly the blood of waste products; at the same time they act as a health-giying tonic to all the tissues involved in the complex process of digestion. In this way, they effectually relieve headache. nausea, indigestion, biliousness and waterbrash. and prevent diarrhoea or summer sickness. They are, there fore, indispensable in seasons when bowel complaints or malaria prevail. and should go with the tourist to the mountains or the seaside. Ayers Pills are sugar coated and easy to take. They quickly dissolve on reaching the stomach, consequently their full me dicinal strength is soon realized. They were awarded the highest honors at the Chicago Worlds Fair.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

She attempted to kill him, but failed. They became reconciled. Again she shot him twice. He recovered. An other reconciliation. Now she has tried it again. He will recover. She is locked up. He will go bail. An other reconciliation. The next effort will be a successful one Let us hope. This occurred in Kansas where they believe in fusion.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Any common, ordinary jackass can get memorial through some legisla- lures. Most legislators never read them and vote on their passage as if it were simply "leave to print" or a motion to take recess. It is only when the memorial returns as boom erang and knocks a few millions out of the pockets of the people that i'm portance is attached to it.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
RAILWAY ACCIDENTS.
this purpose.

There were 5O7,42O,362 passengers carried on the railways of the United States during the year covered by the report of the interstate commerce con- mission just issued That equals about seven railroad rides for every man, woman and child in the whole coun- try And out of this vast number, only ITO were killed and 2,375 injured.
 The number of men employed on the railroads was 785 ,034; and of these 1,S11 were killed and 25,696 injured.
 From these statistics it would ap- pear that railroad riding is one of the safest things a man can do, while rail- roading as a business is hazardous occupation. The safety of passengers in these days is indeed marvellous when one regards, the facts in the az gregate. We are startled and horri- fled by disastrous railroad accidents with their long rolls of dead and in jured. But the figures tell us that 2,984, ,832 passengers are carried safely for every one who meets death by ac- cident; and what shows the exemption in yet more striking manner, that no less than 71, 1,696,743 miles are run for every passenger killed.
 The chances for long life would seem to be the best for him who should take his residence on a railroad train as a paying passenger. He might die of old age before the 71,O00,OO0 miles were accomplished.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
\ l0od s
 Sarsap pariIIa
To c. I. Hood & Co.,, Proprietors. Lowell, Mass.
., D., are the best after-dinneI Hoods Pills bills. aid digestion. 25c

country, and who made such frantic efforts to make pleasant the stay of Whitelaw Reid here last winter, may perhaps regret their quickness of hos pitality when they learn that The Tribune, Reid's New York paper, all ludes to them as dishonest" "ras- cals,' speculators in green goods" !" "defuded fools," "sneaks," and Hack ing the fibre of personal integrity"
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
PHRNIx. AUGUST 5. 1896.
Republican Territorial Platform.
FINANCIAL PLANK.

We assert that we are tor the Tree and un- limited coinage of silver at the ratio of It to and we hereby instruct the delegates to the National convention tC use every means In their power to secure clause in the National platform favoring the free and unlimited coin age of silver.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

The Joan of Arc craze has nearly spent itself. The reading matter it brought out was most of it really in- teresting. But down deep we are in- clined to believe that Joan was not quite all that fancy is painting her.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Some people have a mania for dig ging up gruesome things. In cities where morgues obtain fashionable equipages may always be seen bringing their owners to the chance of gazing at something horrible. Why not let the dead rest?
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Some 'Peeping Toms" discovered an animated statute" Tuesday in this city. We never heard of one before, and still we are not prepared to say that it is without precedent. If there is an inherent power in a court there might be also power of motion in a "Statute."
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

While Mergenthaler is tenting out near Prescott he might busy himself inventing thinking machine. This is not intended as hit at PrescotI's editors.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
JONES BROS.~

gagged in peddling fruit in Kirkland valley. We hope it is in accordance with the Queensbury rules, because then the buyers would be in no danger of blow below the belt.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Mamma, was that sugar-plum you just gave mel" asked little Mabel. "No, dear, it was one of Dr. Ayers Pills" Please, may I have another?" Mot now, dear; one of those nice pills is all you need at present, because every dose is effective''
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Our files are. open to the world for the purpose of demonstrating the fact that we have taken no back trail on the question of free and unlimited coinage of silver. Can some other Arizona papers say as much?
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

At wedding in Brooklyn, N. Y., the city of churches, the bride refused to kiss her husband, and her father slapped her. Evidently Beecher's teachings are forgotten in that city.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

In St. Joseph, Mo-, it is misde- meanor punishable by fine of $200 to
 throw a snowball within the corporate limits. Here is hint to our ordinance makers
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
imperfect digestion, which a few doses of Ayers Sarsaparilla will effectually remedy. Don't delay-try it today.

Ayers Ague Cure never fails to neu- tralize the poisons of malaria and eradicate them from the system. This preparation is purely vegetable, con- tains no harmful ingredients, and, if taken according to directions, is war ranted to cure fever and ague. Try it.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Which is the most dangerous, the man with "the wondrous eye" or the woman with the fascinating squint?
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

If the goldbug papers of this terri tory had circulation in the states where votes count they would make many converts to the cause of silver.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

No argument can be successfully made to show that man must needs be Democrat because he is convinced that our present National financial policy is adverse to the interests of the whole people.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
CHILDREN FREE.

Children under 14 bringing their own suit can go in at the park swim ming baths every Tuesday forenoon free of charge. Come along and enjoy yourselves.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

"1 do not want to live in country where the workingmen and poor peo- pie are reduced to starvation point to make the rich men richer"- G. Gage of Topeka, Kansas
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

It is preferable that a delegate in congress shall fold his hands and do nothing than that he shall open his hands and procure the passage of laws that will bankrupt his constituency.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

A great many men are now engaged in saving the Nation, while their wives are wrestling with the kindling wood.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

The press reports more trouble ovel church and school elections of trus- tees than are chronicled of labor prob lems.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

'"The Deemster," Hall Gains lates and strongest novel, is now on sale a Rinehart's.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Do not wear impermeable and tight fitting hats that constrict the blood vessels of the scalp. Use Halls Hair Remover occasionally, and you will not be bald,
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Those of our citizens who believe that the free coinage of silver will bet ter the condition of the people of this
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Whatever is for the best interest of Ardzona The Republican stands by.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

powers of sufficient capacity to pro duce electricity for commercial pur- poses, and the experience of Buffalo, in case it results as is expected, will not fail to suggest the utilization of this source of power in other places.
 It is no insane vision that sees our cities lighted and warmed, and our people carried about the streets and over the country, by power generated by distant streams or even by the movement of the tides, in a future not far off.
 If any one of the great dam and stor- age enterprises now under way here in Arizona reaches proper completion we have no doubt that the electrical gen. jus will attach the wires to the excess of power and furnish our cities. towns and villages with light and means of rapid travel. We do not need heat so there need be no waste of power for this purpose.
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

What causes bad dreams is a ques- tion that has never been satisfactorily answered; but, in nine cases out of ten frightful dreams are the result of
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

Jest keep on a-keepin' dogs"
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06

We learn that Lord Sholto is en-
Arizona republican., 1896-08-06
Cures

Prove the merit of Hoods Sarsaparilla posi-
 tive, perfect, permanent Cures. Cures of Scrofula in severeSt forms, like
 gotre, swelled neck, running sores, hip
 disease sores in the eyes. Cures of Salt Rheum, with it's intense itching
 and burning, scald head, letter. etc. Cures of Boils, Pimples, and all other erup-
 tions due to impure blood. Cures of Dyspepsia and other troubles where
 good stomach tonic was needed. Cures of Rheumatism, where patients were un-
 able to work or walk for weeks. Cures of Catarrh by expelling the impurities
 which cause and sustain the disease. Cures of Nervousness by properly toning and
 feeding the nerves upon pure blood. Cures of That Tired Feeling by restoring
 strength. Send for book of cures by
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1896-08-11

New York, Aug. 10.
FLOUR-Receipts. %. 729 pkgs.: exports.
1900 bbls, ll.146 sacks: sales. 1900 pkgs.I
quiet, steady; winter wheat, low grades
Sl.90M$2. 80: do fair to fancy. 81 40Gl S.. 40
do patents. $3.l5m$3.75; Minnesota clear
$2.400S2. so: do straghts $2.90a$3. 40; dc
patents. S. 150 A.20: low extra. $l70G, s.. 30
city mills, $50: do patents. 81. 1OI$4; 80
rye mixture. 81. 400 $3.50; superfine, $1,000
$215; fine, $1dsc.
SOUTHERN FLOUR-Dull. steady;
common to fair extra, $2.000$2.30; good to
choice. $2.60M$290.
CORNMEAI1-Dull. steady; yellow west
ern. s.. 05MS2. 10; brandywine. $2.15
BARIEG-Quict.
Wheat-Receipts. IS 400; exports, 81 800
duh. tirmer: No. 2, re fob. CTS: No.
northern, 655s.
sales. 6i.oo0; dull 1aMis lower. closing
steady: No. ,. &. 29a, elevator 303i ahoat,
OATS-Receipts. 202SD0; exports. 1883;
sales. 10000; dull, steady: No 2. 2.23: No.
1922: No, ) white. %; mixed western, ga
2il2; white do, 27n32: white state 21M32.
BEEt'-Steady: beef hams, quiet; tierced
beef. steady; cut meats, dun. steady.
500; city, $3.20a$3.25: refined, dull, steady.
PORk-Higher. fair demand; state
dairy lUa4; DO creamery H12etl2l2 west
CHEESt-More active. firmer; state
large 6n7l2; do small, 5$4M1A.
PETROLEU M-Quiet steady; United,
Sugar-Raw. steady. fair demand; re-
fined, quiet steady: No. 6. 4 9-l6: No. I,
81 No s.. a.; No 9; SIG: No. 10, ~;
eff 1894 11-l6, mould a Us; standard a
AZ: confectiners AZ; cut loaf, So:
Crushed, ~ powdered, IS; graduated,
Ff'RE!GIfTs- Liverpool. maket duh,
SteaUV
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1896-08-11

The local music stores have interest
ing callers. Often, when visitors stop
If, to play a tune or two on violin OF
accordion, one passing by hears
strange sounds emanating from said
stores, but the tunes are often played
right up to time, and seldom lack a vi
vacity and cheerfllness which goes far
toward making the weather more en-
durable. Some. however never know
when they've had enough, or, perhaps,
more correctly speaking, when others
have had enough, and lost in doubt
less pleasant memories brought back
from association, which certain airs
always have to the musically inclined.
they play on and on. The jiggy break
down on the violin takes one back to
the good old days of the country
dance, when floors weren't as smooth
as they are now. The accordion is the
ships music, and suggests a quiet
night, while the vessel is resting at
her docks Or to the more fortunate
one, who has travelled over seas. it
brings back some past with various
tones of recollection, some sad some
glad, but at best, most often, unreal
and dreamy.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1896-08-11
Knox Pomona Grange.

The August meeting of Knox Pomona
grange will be held with Pioneer
grange, East Union, August 90 at l
+. NJ; if stormy on that date to be
postponed one week. The programme
will be as follows: Music by choir;
address of welcome T. j. Gushee; re-
Spouse, Leon Norwood; recitation, Mrs.
Z. w. Smith; essay, Mrs. f.. T. Benner;
vocal duet r. l.. Mansfield and Minnie
Gould; recitation, Mrs Eva Taylor;
instrumental music. Mrs. Matte Merri-
field; song, X. p. Fish; discussion of
the question. Resolved, That orchard
ing can be made the most profitable
part of farming" Affirmative. f. w
Smith. j. 2. Hobbs; negative, c. c.
Counce, G. w. Payson.