davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Some English as She Is Wrote.

An Oklahoma editor expresses his
thanks for basket OF oranges thus:
"We have received basket OF oranges
from our friend Gus Bradley, for which
he will please accept our compliments,
some of which arc nearly six inches in
diameter.
On tombstone in Indiana is the
following inscription: "This monu-
ment was erected to the memory Of
John Jenkins, accidentally shot as
mark of affection by his brother"
A coroner's jury in Maine reported
that deceased came to his death by
excessing drinking producing appo-
plexy in the minds Of the jury"
A michigan editor received soma
verses not long ago with the following
note of explanation: "These lines
were written fifty years ago by one
who has for a lorg time slept in his
grave merely for u pastime. Wash
ington Evening Times.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Notv, ,yhat Can q Man Do?

Patient Man-suppose woman
makes it SO hot for her husband that
he can't live with her, what can she
do?
Lawyer-Sue him for support.
Patient Man--Suppose she has run
him so heavily into debt chat lie can't
support her, because his creditors grail
every dollar as quick as he gets hold
of it, besides running his business with
their suits?
Lawyer-If for any reason whatever
he fails to pay her the amount ordered
he will be sent to jail for contempt OF
court.
Patient Man-Suppose she drives
him ont OF the house with fat-iroD,
and he's afraid to go back7
Lawyer-She can arrest him for de-
sertion.
Patient Maxwell, I can't see any
thing for me to do but go hang myself.
Lawyer-Its against the law to com
NIT suicide, and if you get caught at
tempting it you'll be fined and inpris-
cned. Ten dollars, please. Good day.
New York Weekly.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
A New Bell.

Many sensitive persons ore startled
by the abrupt incisive sound given out
by the ordinary electric bell. NJ.
Guerre, Paris electrician, who has
been working on the idea that this
characteristic OF the electric bell was
not irremediable, has produced bell
which gives o continuous musical
sound. The note is very soft, and
sweet, although penetrating, and is
said to be On exaggeration of that OBJ
tained by rubbing the edge of glass
with the finger. Instead of bell with
a hammer and spring interrupter, o
steel bell is used, which is its own in.
terrupter. When the circnit is closed
by the pressure of the button at the
other end of the line, it is released
from the electro-magnet forced for
ward and released again for number
of times with great rapidity. The
vibration set up produces the pleasing
humming instead of the familiar sound
so irritating to nervous people. The
pitch of the note can at any time be
changed. For instance, should there
be sickness in house and it Is desired
to reduce the carrying quality of tre
note, it can be lowered until it is audi.
BILE only to servants, or others whom
it is intended to summon.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
A Mechanical Doctor.

It has been reserved for a Dutch,
man to carry tho penny.in.the-slot
machine to its extreme limits. He has
invented an automatic physician. In
appearance the machine is digniied
metal man, the front of whose waist.
coat is pierced with number of open
ings, over each of which is inscribed
the name OF one Of tho commoner ail-
ments to which humanity is subject.
You put o penny in the slot set apart
for your particular illness, and out
pops a small packet of medicine. This
automatic doctor may be consulted by
the sound as we'll as by the sick, for
one of the slots delivers o "refres6er
and tonic" distilled from wholesome
herbs. This idea is certainly ingeni .
ous,-Tit- Bits.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
1t is Hot in Queensland.

No rain had fallen for eight months
and the lot air was thick with q sitting
haze of dust. The mighty Flinders
avast river ofsand, with wnter beneath
mocked the parcbed township, the
dusty downs, end the burning limbs
of the population.
frequently oil the doors md win
dows of the wretched tin and wood
houses had to be hurriedly closed to
keep out the hateful sirocco. The
almost bare downs rolled away into
the distance, with pillars of hot dust
u thousard feet high, travelling along
IN the scorching whirlwinds, at few
miles distance from each other, like
giants stalking through the land, rear.
ing their dim heads into the brass-col
ored sky. These dust spouts are only
a few feet in diameter for hundreds OF
feet up. They como eddying along,
sometimes lifting even oil tins and
pieces of corrugated iron; and woe
betide the houses they take in their
track, for they fill them with dirt anc
rubbish, making a clatter on the roof.
Even if people are on the alert to close
all the apertures as they see column
approaching, they are filled with fine
dust, and the very bookcovers curl up
with the heat. The people are as hap
py us anybody else. They live and
toll, make lots of money, marry, and
are given in marriage. They have
their excitements-the shenring sea.
son, dancing, and race meetings. AL
the vices and few of the virtues be.
longing to the rest of the world are tc
be met with in that dreary, scorchins
wilderness. From "Parts of the
Paciic."
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Monroe Doctrine in New Light.

Judge Thomas N. Welch, of Caro-.
lima County, Virginia, recalls a new
phase of the Monroe doctrine, the de-
tails of which no had from the lips of
James W. Saunders, who about fifty
years ago was leading lawyer and
politician of Charlottesville, Va.
Mr.. Saunders said that when he was
young lawyer, Mr. Monroe, who had
already been President. lived on his
farn inAlbemarlo County, about seven
miles from Charlottesville. A person
in New York sent Mr.. Saunders for
collection q bond of $500, due from
Mr.. Monroe. After consulting with
some of his friends he started to coll
on the ex-President to present the
claim. Accordingly, he rode to the
residence of Mr.. Monroe and found
him at home. He was received in the
most courteous manner, conducted to
the parlor, and mint julep was
brought in.
Mr.. Monroe's conversation was
bright and instructive. Presently Mr..
Saunders was invited to partake of an
excellent breakfast, after which he
went with Mr.. Monroe to his Office,
where good cigar was enjoyed.
Finally, he informed Mr.. Monros OF
the object of his visit. This he did as
politely as possible, adding the cred
itor desired immediate payment.
Mr.. Monroe listen attentively, then
arose suddenly from his chair, went to
a desk, took out two duelling pistols,
and said:
"Here are two duelling pistols,
which purchased in France This voice
trembling with anger, and now, sir,
You can take your choice, and down
there in that grove We can each settle
this matter"
The invitation was declined, and Mr..
Saunders left without an invitation
from Mr.. Monroe to repeat the visit.
New York Herald.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Where Spiln.s arc Made.

Down below the Santa Fe round.
house, near the railroad tracks, is a
factory unlike any other in the United
States, or, for that matter; anywhere
else. 1t makes spliHts for the use of
surgeons id bahdaging broken limbs;
from D peculiaf fibrous material that
possesses especial adaptabillty fof the
purpose. This material is The wood
of tho Jucca palm, which grows
plentifully,, on tho Moiaye Desert.
The trees arc cut down and trimmed
into logs about ten or twelve feet long;
and from ten inches upward in diane
ter, and shipped to the factory, where
they are stripped of bark and care
fully inspected. About half or more
of the logs contain what might be
called flaws, or kidney colored masses,
Sc hard that the machinery used eau
not edt them: Nobody seems nble to
explain how these formations are
caused, but they make tho men at the
factory great deal of trouble and
spoil much timber. The logs aresawed
up into suitable lengths, length put
into latho and long knife is pressed
against it, taking off shaving about
one.eighth of on inch thick, more or
less, according to the use to be made
of it. This long shaving or board is
then cut into smaller pieces and put
away id racks to dfS, for the trees are
cut up when green; it being impossible
to soften them after they are dried.
Although they grow in the desert and
look pafched to. the eye, they are full
of water and weigh 30 much when
green that they sink in water. The
poorer quality OF the yuccais is cut up
into narrow strips, which are fastened
around young fruit trees to protect
them from sunburn and Tho attack of
rabbits, for whish purpose they are
found to answer admirably; and u
great many of them are used, But
the use of this material upon which
the greatest hope OF ultimate profit is
based is for splints, for which 1t is
much better adapted than any other
material used, as well as being
cheaper.-Los Angeles Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Extraordinary Growth OF a Sick Girl.

Recently o fourteen-year-old girl
died in New Brighton. It is said that
when she became i'll she measured five
feet two inches. She was sick three
weeks, and when she died and was
laid out for interment she measured
FIVE feet nine inches, having grown
seven inches in three weeks. 1t is
said that the change in her appearance
was so great that neighbors viewing
the remains could. scarcely recognize
in them the features of their little
friend of three weeks before. Doc
tors say it is the most remarkable
case they have any knowledge Of,
Philadelphia Times
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
FAIRLY PAID.


dow sill. She was unusually quiet.
She had been watching Alice, who,
with book in hand, was promenading
on the lawn below, under tho shady
trees.
'She is very beautiful" said Vane,
looking towards the graceful figure.
'I wonder if she would marry me?''
"Vane Winton, haven't you asked
her yet?"
"Not yet. Perhaps I shall to-day.
Do you think had better do ao?" :.
"Most certainly" And she ran Off,
singing merrily.
In short time she was tearing
down the road on Floss at breakneck
speed.
After she had gone, vane went out
to Alice.
"What ails Lottiea" tho lady in
quired.
"Lottio9 I do not understand"
'tAs she passed me just few mo-
ments ago to mount her pony, l spoke
to her, 'Let me go, Alice MayP she
snapped, md noticed tears in her
eyes. And then she rode off so reck-
lessly that I am fearful she will put
Floss in bad temper"
Alice spoke lightly, but Vane's faco
paled as he walked back to the house,
and waited anxiously for Lottie's re-
turn.
Presently he caught sight Of Floss
being led slowly by d strange man.
Then followed a carriage with two
men, one of whom held o girlish fig
ure in his arms.
"It took place down on the river
road," explained one OF the men to
vane. "rhe girl was riding like the
wind when all at once the pony made
plunge, end the girl landed among
the rocks"
Mr.. and Mrs. Winton came hurry
ing OUT and the greatest excitement
prevailed, They took Lottie into the
house, where it was aacertained that
one arm was broken, and several ugly
cuts and bruises had been received.
When Lottie opened her eyes, Vane
was Mt her side.
$50 away!" she cried.
"NeYer, darling, for 1 love you'll"
"How can you love me and marry
Alice?' she pouted. ;,
"I am not going to marry Alice.
"Why, Lottie, can it he that you
are jealouss" said Alice, taking her
hand, ''Vano and I dc not want each
other"
II was very jealous" confessed Lot.
tie, "but please don't 60 away" And
he did not. "When you spoke of mar
rying Alice, did not care what hap
pened to me-"
''But you refused me" :.
"I know it, but only to tease you. !"
just as soon as Iottie recovered
there wss quiet wedding, and Alice
was bridesmaid.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Did Not Delsre to c'rltiolss.

Mr.. Meekson's wife was cycling him
suspioiously as he ate his breakfast
ssYou don't seem to like the biscuits, "
she said. "What ia the matter with
them?'
cob, nothin' much.
sThen why don't you eat them9"
Tion't feel much like eatin' biz
cults this morning"
.Then there must be something the
matter with them or with YOU"
sWell, to tell you the truth, they're
little more burnt than I ordinarily
like 'em. And I hope you won't think
I'm fault finding and not willing to
make allowances. know that human
natures human nature, and 1t isn't
with any idea of blame that I remark
that lately when ye ain't scorchin' on
the bicycle ye're scorching on the cook
stove. 'spose the two just naturally
go together, Washington Star.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
rOpULAR SCIENCE.
A bicyc!e cab is Oh view III London,

A bicycle cab is Oh view in London.
Blotting paper handles for bicycles
are o recent invention.
An attachment. has been invented
by which an ordinary bicycle can be
converted into D tandem.
An American dentist in Paris has
been trying the Z rays on aching jaws,
md affirms that it is o asure cure for
thel toothache.
A London doctor says that bathing
with q solution OF hyposulphite of
soda will Immediately and permanently
cure ivy poisoning.
DR.. higgins, the we'll known as-
tronomer, says the stars afe red, white
and blue, according to their ages.
The white stars are the youngest.
A recent experiment Of passing the
Roentgen ray through mans head
resulted in killing the hair and leaY-
ing him with perfectly bald spot.
The artificial propagation and cul-
ture of sponges has been SO success.
fully practiced on the Mediterranean
coasts that the people Of Southern
Florida and the West Iadies arc at
tempting similar methods,
A Swede has invented q variable
speed ehainless safety bicycle. The
machine is said to haYe fve rates of
speed, the change being made pned.
matically by means Of tubing and two
India rubber bulks fitted to the handle
bar. d':a,-'.'i
An Australian has Just executed
what is considered one OF the most fe-
markable mathematical fsats of
modern tines. 1t consists in thp de-
vising of o diagram for finding tine
true bearing of celestial bodies SO as
to correct the compass.
1t has beef noticed in Germany that
lightning often passes barmlessly
through the ere and molten iron OF
blast furnaces to the earth, Instead Of
being attracted to the lightning con:
duetora. Tie suggested explanation
il that the aqueous vapot and carbon
In the smoke column offer better
conductor to AMI through the furnace
charge than is afforded by the rod
nutsidA
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

A Tree Of Iron.

At the meeting of the Academy Of
Natural Science of Philadelphia, Prof.
Oscar G. s. Carter of the Boys Central
High school, was the principal speak
er. In his address he referred to SO.
called iron tree, which was discovered
about one mile from Three Tuns,
Montgomery county, Pa, imbedded in
sandstone quarry, about ten feet be-
low the surface. The tree is about 18
feet long, and the trunk is about 8
inches in diameter. 1t has been COM
pletely turned to iron, and is com
posed mostly of brown hematite, ON
iron ore. A portion of the tree is of
imperfect Ignite, which greatly re-
eembles charcoal. No doubt exists
among scientists that the article re-
ferred to was real tree, because knots
were found, many of which had also
turned to iren.-Industrial World
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Wealth of the w. .orld.

The United States is the richest ma
tion in the world, though adding the
wealth of Great Britain to that of her
colonies, the British Empire would be
the richest. The people of Australia
have more wealth per capita than those
of any other country. The British come
next. The United States come fifth
in per capita of wealth, the French and
Dutch, as well as the Australians and
British, being wealthier.
The following table gives Professe-
Mulhall's estimate of the wealth OF If
teen nations, with o calculation which
shows the per capita of wealth ct each:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
WORDs OF WISDOM,
Don't watch the cook too closely.
ALI politeness is owing to liberty.

Don't watch the cook too closely.
All politeness is owing to liberty.
An occasional drubbing does man
good.
1t is easy to pick out work for the
fool killer.
No woman wants the latest wrinkles
in her face.
People usually pick out their own
temptations.
The increase of knowledge increases
the need oft.
Our richest relatives arc often the
most distant ones.
A fighting chance often means O
chance to be whipped.
The man is not poor who has the
Use of things necessary.
Pretty women who are stupid are
foses without fragrance.
A woman's itlea of q good thing al
ways makes man smile.
After all, On aching heart does not
hurt like on aching tooth.
The road to happiness is the pleas
ahtest part Of the journey.
A woman's interest in anybody usu-
ally begins with curiosity.
No man ever nlarries but some wo.
man thinks he is ''captured."
Cupid shoots his strongest arrows
nowadays at the pocketbook.
If you want to make d friend praise
d dog in its owner'spresence.
Caprice buyeth @ folly, then ex.
shahgeth ii for greater folly.
There is no opposing brutal force to
the stratagems of human reason.
It is no sign that d mon is a fool be.
cause I'D differs with us in opinion
The Southwest.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
An Electric Theatre.

There is o project on foot to build,
in Boston, on electric theatre in which
all the wings, drops, etc., are to be
operated by electric motors, and in
which it is expected to produce re-
markable twilight, moonlight, sunset
and tempest effects by electrical
mpaOa
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

From the above it will be seeh that
of the nations mentioned Russia, Aus
tria and Italy, in the order named, are
the three poorest, 80 far as the per
capita of wealth is concerned.
The list, however, is far from COM
plete. China, India, Japan, Turkey,
NJ, ,xico, Brazil and Portugal are richer
in aggegate wealth than some of the
nations mentioned, though Chino, In
dia and Turkey are doubtless poorer
in per capita of wealth than any. II
China had per capita of wealth of as
much as one hundred dollars she would
be richer than any nation except the
United States, Great Britain and
France.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Early Rising Insanity.

B1inks-say, professor, do you be-
lieve in the theory that early rising
tends to insanity?
Professor Smart Yes, Think there
is considerable truth in it.
Blinks-But man to be insane
must have o delusion of some sort.
Now, what particular delusion have
you ever known oil early riser 10 be
rfii cted with?
Professor Smart-The delusion that
he liked early rising. New York
World.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Old Linen Iraper.

The oldest piece of linen paper in
existence, SO far as known, is o manu-
script containing treaty between the
Kings of Aragon and CASTLE. 1t is
dated lit, and is still in u fair state
ofpreserYatiop, retaining the ink well.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Economy.

"Ab, chatting dish" remarked the
late arrival. swell, WE'LL"
"Yes," answered Satan, sffably.
"Now and then We get one of those
fellows who is more sinned against
than aiming, and. it doesn't pay to
build fire in the range, don't you
know. Detroit Tribune.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Menelek,s Secret Fear.

King Menelek of Abyssinia lives in
constant fear of assassination. re has
had several narrow escapes from death
from poison at different times in his
career. All his food and drink are
tasted before he nartakes of them. :,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Had Respect For Yt.

! Mr.. Dismal Dawson's removal Of the
trash from the lawn was SO languid
that Mrs. Watts was moved to say: 81
fcay you are not fond of work. :"
"oh, yes, am, num-" said Mr..
Dawson. 81 think 60 much of work
that wouldn't be violent with it fer
nothin. Indianapolis Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Zig Constantinonlo Fires.

In 1929 over $4,000 houses were
burned in Constantinople and 1000
lives were lost in the fire. In 1745 q
fire again ragged in the Turkish capital,
during five days, and series of terri.
BILE confagrations also occurred there
in the year 1850.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

EIn1soN-Halloa, dear boy, you
look very sad this morning. What's
the trouble. Green-IYe just under
gone most annoying operation. FL
lison-What was it? Green-l had
my allowance cut off.-Tit- Bits.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

How He KNEw.-Miss Sweetly-
How did you know 1 was going to
wear my hair curled this evening 2
lfr. Plainman-I saw it in the papers
this morning. Brooklyn Life.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Identity Complete.

Burrows-"Did you ever meet man
down there with one leg named Will
gop?''
Burrows (doubtiully)-"What was
The name of his other log ?"- Washing
ton Evening Times.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

Halls Catarrh Cure Is liquid and Is taken
internally, and acts directly on the blood ana
mucous surfaces Of tho systern Write tor tes"
simoninls free. Manufactured by
EJ. CHENEY & Co, Toledo, v.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

Duy a 90 worth DobSins Floating Borax Soap OF
your grocer, soad wrappers to Dobbins Soap Mfg
Co., Philadelphia, Pa. They will send you free
OF charge, postage paid. Worcester Pocket Die
tioncry, 2o6 pages, bound in cloth, profusely u
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
stimpson,s Luck.

"Great luck that find OF sjtimpson's. "
1 havn't heard"
"Found $40 bill in his last sum,
mer's coat"
"Good heavens! didn't know he
was a widower !"-Detroit Free Press.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

\ Good navy and some fine coast defenses
will mako this country more respected than
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Tho Modern beauty

Thrives on good food and sunshine, With
plenty of exercise in the open air. Her form
glows with health anil her face blooms with
Its beauty. II her system needs the cleansing
action of q laxative remedy, she uses the gen.
tie and pleasant Syrup of Figs. Made BY the
California Fig Syrup Company.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
tSo.. allnys pain, ,curcs wind collie 25c. bottle.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01
Inexpensive solh to Harsh and Sweet
The nerves are o,

Sounds,
The nerves are often painfully acute. When
this Is the case, the best thing TO be done is to
sock the tonic and traneuillzlng assistance Of
Host"ttei's Stomach Btters, q superb ner-
vine. No less beneficial Is It for dyspeptic,
bilious, malarial, rheumatic, bowel and kid
ney complaints. Use with persistent regr-
larity. A wineglassful before retiring confers
sleeu
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

Chicago only gained 1000 inhabitants in the
last two years.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

Italy has population of 80, 913, ,G6.
and q debt of $2. 461. .571. 900.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1896-07-01

FITS stopped free by Dir. KLINE's GREAT
NERvE RssToRER No cts after first days use.
Marvellous cures. Trehtise and s.. 100 trial bot
iio free. Dr. Kline. 931 Arch St.. Phila.. Pa