New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-08-23
Not CASE TO BE ENTTED.
THE MAN WHOSE WIFE Is OFT OF TOWN
FINDS LIFE a BURDEN.

THE MAN WHOSE WIFE IL OFT OF TOWN
FINDS LIFE BURDEN.
A rniddle-aged mar came down the steps OF ono
OF the few houses that are open Ia the streets t"at
run of Fifth-ave.. just below Central Park. the
other evening and hailed a man who was passing
Just opposite
Hello. Jim" he said disconsolately.
How do Won do Arthur" responded the other
The two stood on opposite curbings for a mo-
mcnt and then the first speaker slowly crossed the
street
whats the matter. Arthur You look Ike tho
last rose Of summer. 10, weather been doing YOU
up"
Hot weather be hanged" snorted the other is
your wife away"
unfortunately she is not l envy you and the
res, Of the boys whose better halves are giving
them vacation
Well you can Just quit enyying u right now.
and thank your lucky stars that you're not In our
boots" said tho sorrowful one
"TIow's that?" inquired Jim" cur.ously You
fellows are always Dragging az the club about what
a free-and-easy time you are having. now that
your wives are in the country or at the seashore
L know H." said number one. heavng sigh, but
We re all liars every Of Us. and don't you forget
Il You see" he went on dOl'fuy. when my Wife
went away ! thinking what a beautfil time
Was going - have all by myself here-c0me and 80
Just when wanted 70. be at the club all the time
II pleased and all that sort Of thing NJ wife left
ono II the maids al home look after the house and
SEQ 70 my room The last thing she said 70 me was:
Now Arthur. do be careful not 70 have any trouble
with the maid Maids awfuy hard 10 manage
and you have had no experience with them. Besides.
they hard 20 get nowadays ana are touchy aoolt
their rights don't quite Ike 20 leave her mere
I'm sur. you'll get her angry arl then she'll leave
AID shall have no end Of trouble getting another
one
Il laughed at her. I guess know how 10 man
age woman said.
Maybe she sati ami with that she went away
That very night stayed pretty late az the club
with some of me boys and when got home u VS.
almost O'Clock / Nas just thinking % myself how
nice Il was % De able 10 stay out al night u !
pleased when discovered that had lost my latch
koy Thi. did not vorfy mo az all however. as /
knew the maid was inside rang ne bell and
waited Then | rang again and waited Then
rang and waited some more No response
thumpod on the door While with no better success.
AMI sat down the steps 70 think ~ over Finally
| remembered having read somewhcr' plan that ~as
successfully adopted by some unfortunate IN =
similar situation ! went out info %" street and
hunted for a cobhles'one
And you didn't nni II. said jim" with a grin.
Il did. though. after | had walked about three
blocks | found it and carted n back 20 ihe house
with appropriate remarks Remember. this Vas
one of the hottest nights Of last week
Hot enough to FRY fapjacks on the sidewalk"
We'll grabbed The coDbiestone and dumped with
an my might Oh the front door. The whole house
shook
THAT fetched the maid. ri bet
You're right II fetched the maid II also
fetched pitchcrful Of water out Of fourth-st0ry
window. lodged ~. though and dropped tho
Mary leaned out Of the window by -;he-way dld
you ever hear OF maid that wasn't named Mary
Mary leaned ont Of the window and shouted:
Get away from there / ID call the police.
i was mad / own Il freely Shut up and come
down. | said. 1 wart TO get IN. I've lost my night
key
Then Mary came down. OF course" querled
"Of course Mary didn't come down. because
Mary VAS d fool Nary opened her mouth and Re-
piled. You can't fool me that way. 60 away
-" I won't go away. answered Come down. YOU
IDIOT and let In
hovls Police Police Police" she shouted
4 sat down The steps and waited. There VAS
nothing else to do Mary made he street re.
sound for about ten minutes ! should think sns
really has a most remarkable voice oniS she ongh.
10 have It trained she wss stii In good sol'S
should have 70 spend the night IN the police station
for trying 10 break into my own house D.I 49,, -
unatey. the policeman knew me anu ans ~,.s thai
explanation although he eNidentD H"-P'N''~ '~>
"Hf,er Considerable argument We persuaded Mar. ,r
10 come down and open the door S"I N.S',s h
nolirennan better han she did M. fernn"ls
ns MS fac, that made me ungeniie Win Msry
when stood a, las In ne nau e, Nerrn She De-
ei IunSI an. hs would leave The very next morning
Did sheeF bsyen't dared write my wife about
It yet You know What sns ~Ye i'm s"S
That's IL Goodby. and don't envy me any
more"
A woman who r. most successful bargain
hunter bought two trunks for 8 al sale 81 nn.
ciaItned goods hy a st0rnR" company The 'runk1
49,. in good condition for travelling. she fOunG