The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1896-05-17
DdoTuEH 0ARDiNERB CAMPAIGN
CLUB,

announce dat de- Honorable DuGkwater
Black, Of kntuchy, has hoofcd Il fur
w miles ODor do dirt roads 10 dellDer an
address bofo' dis club an nov am asleep
on do bench IN dc aunty rooEi II pains
me. fiiatly, bckaAs hs ar DO'din' at my
cabin fruU oh charge an AIN one oh do
blggoat aatsfs I ebsr sawi secondly. be-
kaao know bo wants 70 borry Two dol
lahs OF me. an | amt got dc moral
courage 10 rsfoose him, thirdly, bchasc
he likes dis town an may hebcr return
" kintlleky any mo. IN which case he
may Docome Hlah u nuisance dat Civ
adam Jones will bo called upon 10 Glib
him do grand bounce, II am said. how
cbtr dat he am brilliant orator an
knows how ~ miG up whitoSaHh 70 II
viii look like De frcseo Daintin Of tome
an Venice. Do committee viii so out
AN wake him W an bring him In an
We Will sin him far show"
THE MAN FROM KENTUCKY
When the Honorable Buckwatcr APP
ptarcd on the platform his dimensions
seemed 10 be- as follows Length over
all. feet. breadth OF beam, feet (.
depth Of hold. feot. carrying capacity.
fourteen mlnco pies AMI IA gallon OF milk
contrary. his facial appearance would
have sent a cold chill over any white
dog he happened 10 meet at midnight
ON lonely highway, lie seemed TO be
good -naturod. however. and ho was de-
cldedly NJ home az lir0iher Gardner In
troduccd him. and he bowed right and
left aDd agitRtod the toes which peeped
out Of his shoes
A GOOD START.
Patriots OF America" he began In "a
voice fun OF rod-core watermelon, let
" presume fur a mint dat We am stand
In In dc shaddvr oh do mighty Pyramids
oh Egypt. an dat de time am ten thous-
and ycarB ago, Across tho sandy desert
htrotchin' away fur hundreds OF miles
We kin see de uggcF Of a female woman
approaohin'. CHEERS for deserts and
wonanJ She hasn't got many clothes
on Her face am muiiied up an she
walks with u limp. In ona hand she
holds bowl OF clam broth an In de
oddor a bla0l.anake whip. (Miid cbecrn
Tor clam BROTH Oar am tears In her
eyes an her chin wabbles she draws
niEhor. She approaches. DE higher
aho comes do mo- ahD llmps an do laAter
hsr tears fall Bimcby she walks right
up 10 uH. an wid one hand Khc holds
out de clam broth an wild do oddor de
whip. an Hho kneels on dc ground an
humbly bcseeches man. her lord an
master. to swaller dat broth an den KIN
her liokin', (intenAe excitoment and
scattering ehSers for lord and master
and liokinssD lie drinks up dat broth
Wild a yuml yumi yuml an den he frows
s,a.,.., ~
s,s',.'..,-, -. W -, -, ~
80 - a.. ., :. ""N 'A''up'
"N'''''
THE BEGINNING OF THE END.
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blackberry bushos One day de worm
hcrona woman Who Vs. lame IN Sos,
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dcnlv hrac,.i r,,,h, nm 90, =. ,nad as
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rollIn' min rrrsmendons cheers for Ia r,s
woman. worms and rolling pInI
cam, sav vhaI hrnng nhon, a. chsrr.
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Womn nhood- Al he',tnn,n, ~ A. ssnJ N.
oio ran onan,.d his sv.s a, s,,rrr,., "a.
hs raelnr,I a.. 90. sa,s,a ,.1.,sIa ~
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cInyst 6alahsaSs.,, a., Iisl.'1 $50, AZ A.
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nade n hmm 1ur Az, roLar ,c,h'ars 90
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ins, century ~ ~
THE WOMAN OF TODAY.
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,n ~. y. .''s,, ',a az eeuee''.u' 20 81.
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