New-York tribune., 1896-01-25

First vestryman-It must make clergyman fee'
very unhappy to discover thdt he "a' o ~
usefulness in a parish
Second vestryman-Not so unhappy as II mahe'
the people when he doesn't discover H.
He Understood you understand asSsa Ssn 'ns we
sabbath-schoo teacher what Is o.. meant "neN "0
3Yesm' answered Tommy: 1T means when inc
clock stops" Indianapolis Journa.
The farmers near Hamilton Ohio. say that large
numbers OF small grasshoppers have appeared ana
that they are as lively though it we're the reg
ular season for grasshoppers.
Two Sides to the Case.-"It is somewhat discour-
aging that the United States is not aDie 10 fecos'
ME us sad one Cuban insurgent ,, -
Never m.nd." replied ano!herj walt t,drs ~, ,Ssv Sev
sre sge sendins over Their own families won't b
able to recognize EN-" "-(Washngton star.
While large numbers of people are said to be emi-
grating from the Northwestern States to the oou'n'
many former emigrants from those States are ieav'
ing the South and returning to their old homes
KING PREMPEHs PALA' Err.
After Alfred Austin
roomassie Ashantee Jan 20-The English Com:
missioner backed by the British force, commanded.
BY Sir Francs Scott had peaver tUlay Ss dsky wy
monarch showing remarkably trlehIly as
It deyeOpsd 1SsT food during ana the paave
press Dispatches.
Tommy Atkins, loq.:
What Wrong 70 ave fun with old Prempeh.
The King Of Ashantee-laad?
Well maybe for teetotal cutters
What aren't got no British sand:
But it just aren't that kind O. soft solder
AS comes from the Sandhurst snops'
An that's 'ow IL as old Prempeh
Got fooled with them knockout uIVps'
The wcrd comes Prempeh's a-eatin'
Is sab,cks alive an all that
So grab gltS StdEleu
As quick as the jump OF cat; iro,,r, tho torest
with never no dawdlins nor stops
Till we reach Coomassie where Prempeh
Got doped with them knockout crops
The KIM was disposed to act dirty.
An axed us our business In town. a.,
An for every sweet smile what we give I'M
He answered us back with frown'
An kept TO their 'ouses an shops;
So we Tommys goes smash IDOLS .
While Sir Francis gives Prempsh is drops
We knocked their gods all into flinders
Which it raised their mad up right away
Ii looks like the dickens pay.
But when Prempeh comes out to palaver'
He just couldn't do a thing to us:
We'd gave him them knockout dropsl
SO MI up your eansssns sssas;5 my oIosm TOmmys'
An to bloomin Albert Ed,ard.
Our King as 'opes [ a been,
An 'ere's to the Hnglish harmy.
An TO every gun as pops-
But fill em twice over, my Tommys,
~ o1' ''" -(Bufralo Courier.
The newsboys and newswomen OF Park Row are
fairly good judges of human nature. may be seen
from their treatment OF the man who finds. afte'
asking for paper, that he has not cent oil chahse
in his pocket Perhaps some vender may refuse
certain applicant and perhaps the refusal may nave
,ArfA hnfn
paper forced upon the reluctant purchaser with the
remark: "You can pay tomorrow" And the
business sense OF the sidewalk merchant is usually
vndicated the next day by the presentation OF
nickel with the change thrown in expression
Of gratitude for the credit extended.
Mamma-And so he complained of your biscuits.
dld he? Well wouldn't mind; Ind & you viii Ti olssss ease
him; Tu WIZ. Pm, :, 10 no, that mamma. don't
mind his finding fault with my cooking. But =.
think that love, which supposed was sentlmsens
of the heart. IL only affair OF the stomach'-
(Boston Transcript.
The publisher of THE Kokumin- Tomo." o.
Toxic Japan, will February 26 begin to issue an
English edition of the paper. under the name OF ihs
Far East" He says that his object is TO enable lot
elgners interested in Japan to gain better idea VI
the country. its life and resources THE kokumi"
NoTomo' (The Nations Friend') was establishea
as a monthly periodical In February 1887. From tno
beginning it successful. and 1t Is now weekly
OF large circulation and great influence. The fai
East will be issued once a month. and will give
careful and trustworthy resume Of the news Oh '"e
month.
There was hairdresser In Boston WHY
numbered among his patrons many gentemean, q,
the medical profession. One day when operaatvn;;
upon one OF them he broke forth In great gee, ,nS
you dink, dogtor? l haf been to dot hospitai u,s s
while yat to go up und cut mans ha.r seS sec
marple busts Of de dogtors, Dere was DoSuo vss
Storer und dere vas Dogtor Peegelow init DE VIZ Wsrt
dress for him desc dwenty years In marpie. . p.rA
or dot. Won OF vies N m unarplef'-(BoStS1 nar too-