davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
SOWING q Problem.

A German professor was remarkably
absentminded. Whenever he was very
busily engaged in his studio solving
some abstruse problem his wife was in
the habit of bringing him his dinner.
His favorite dish was pancakes and
treacle. One day his wife brought him
a large pancake and bowl of treacle and
went down in the kitchen. Pretty soon
she heard the professor ring the bell.
"Why is it, Gretchen, that you bring
me nothing to eat except treacle! Why
have you brought me no pancake?' ask
ed the professor.
Zach, himmelp' exclaimed his wife,
''you have tucked the pancake round
your neck, thinking that it was a nap
kin. Hanover Anzeiger.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
Blood Poison.

Contagious Blood Poison has been ap-
propriately called the curse of mankind.
1t is the n disease that physicians can
not cure; their mercurial aud potash
remedies only bottle up the poison in
the system, to surely break forth in a
more virulent form, resulting in a total
wreck of the system.
Mr.. Frank B. Martin, a prominent
ieWeler at OPS Pennsylvania Ave. WASH
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

filled with eating sores; my tongue was
almost eaten away, so hat for three
months 1 was unable to taste any solid
food. My hair was coming out rapidly.
and 1 was in a horrible fix. l had tried
various treatments, and was nearly dis
couraged, when a friend recommended
SIS. After T had taken four bottles, l
began to get better, and when 1 had
finished eighteen bottles, 1 was cured
sound and well, my skin was without a
b1emish, and 1 have had no return OF
the disease. S.S.S.saved me from a life
of misery" SIS. Guaranteed purely
~Oegeta6Le) will cure any case of blood
poison. Books on thedisease
s.; & &: ! ): :: !: g. =: 6: S
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

ngton,D.C Essays:
l was for a long
time under treat
ment of two of
the best physi-
clans of this city,
for a severe case
of blood poison,
but my condition
grew worse all
the while, not
withst the
fact that they
charged me three
hundred dollars.
My mouth was
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

The fall of dead branches from a tree
is an excellent sign of an approaching
storm. The dead wood, much decayed,
absorbs moisture and loses its tenacity,
thus causing the branch to fall.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
DON'T STOP TOBACCO.

HOW TO CURE YOURSELF WHILE
USING IT.
The tobacco habit grows on a man until
his nervous system is seriously affected,
impairfng health, comfort and happiness.
To quit suddenly is too severe a shock to
the system, as tobacco. to an inveterate user,
becomes a stimulant that his system contin-
ually Graves. "Baco-Curo'f is a scientific
cure for the tobacco habit, in all its forms,
carefully compounded after the formula of
an eminent Berlin physician who has used
a failure. 1t is purely vegetable and guar
anteed perfectly harmless. You can use all
the tobacco you want while taking "Baco-
Curo." 1t will notify you when to stop. We
give a written guarantee to cure perma-
neptly any case with three boxes. or refund
the money with 10 per cent. interest. "Baco-
Curo' is not q substitute, but a scientific
power and with no Inconvenience. 1t caves
the system as pure AID free from nicotine as
the day you took your first chew or smoke
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
rc Tin while You work

With DR.. Humphreys Specific No "a
for Brain Fag, General Debility. and all
forms of Physical Weakness. For sale
by druggists.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
HOUSEKEEPERS

are delicate,
run-dow n, or
overworked and
those who suf-
fer from back
ache, headache,
dragging-dow
sensations in the
abdomen, and
III a h e +
symptoms of de-
off1,e
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

"Mrs. Wilson tried to get Mrs. Jones's
cook away from her, and actually wentto
Mrs. Jones's house when she was out and
offered the cook more money. The next
time they met at a big dinner Mrs. Jones
did not notice her. Some one who sat
between them said:
"Mrs. Jones, you know Mrs. Wilson,
do you not2"
mo, l believe not" said Mrs. Jones;
'she sometimes calls on my cook, I uuder-
stand. Waiter, some Ice"
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
Cured BY Baeo-curo and Gained Thirty
Pounds

From hundreds of testimonials, the
originals of which are on the file and open
to Inspection, the following is presented:
Clayton, Nevada Co.. Ark, Jan. 2S. 1895.
Eureka Chemical & Mfg Co., La Crosse
Wis.-Gentlemen: For forty years l used
tobacco in all its forms For twenty-five
years of hat time l was a great sufferer
from general debility and heart disease.
For fifteen years i tried to quit, but
couldn't. took various remedies, among
others "No-1o Bac.'' "The Indian Tobacco
Antidote "Double Chloride of Gold"
etc etc, but nom OF them did me the least
bit OF good. Finally, however. / purchased
u box of your ''Baco-Curo" ard it has
entirely cured me of the habit in all its
forms, and l nave increased thirty pounds
in weight and am relieved from all the
numerous aches and pains of body and
mind. l could write a quire of paper upon
my changed feelings and condition.
Yours respec fully. P. FL. MARBURY,
Pastor C.. P. Church. CLAYTON Ark
Sold by al druggists at 81 90 per box;
three boxes. Thirty days %treatment). $3.50
with iroh-clad. written guarantee. or sent
direct unon receipt of price. Write for
booklet and proofs. Eureka Chemical &
Mgf. Co., La Crosse. Wis, and Boston, Mass.
10-4 6 m
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

Anyway" said the man who likes to
make kind speeches, "our ball players are
no towards"
mop" said the other man.
mo. sir. 1t is almost impossible to
get them to run" -IndianapohS Journal.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

What's Jim a'doin' of since he gradu
ated P" "He's a-workin' for the map
who wrote his graduation speech"
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

Very few people know the sound OF
their own voice. When they hear it in
a monograph they are much surprised.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

1t is estimated that in England one
woman in every six earns her W liv-
ing.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
asy to Take
asy to Operate

Are features peculiar to Hoods Pills. Small in
size, ta~steless, efficient, thorough. AS one man
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
Buff and Red Brick

SMITH B.
Successor to Joshua Scott & Son,
~ PENTONVlLLE BRICK YARD
100000 Rk1S Sc SOLD OH n as ws,sa
prices at the yard or by rail. Anyone wish
ing to build or to pave will do well to call on
me before purchasing
send for price list at the yard, or all other
points by rail. SMITH b. SICKlER.
P o. Box 81. Salem Nj.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

what interested you most" he asked,
during the dinner table talk this even
ing?"
49," she replied, "the electioneering
arguments, l suppose"
YES" he responded, putting his arm
gently but firmly roundh her waist, II am
a protectionist."
But" said she, coyly, "are you fully
up to my gold standard?"-The Mono
metalist.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
BR EAkFAST-SUPPkR
BOILING WATER OR MILK.
TIE MILD POWER CURES

THE MILD POWER CURES
DR.. Humphreys Specifics
are scientifically and carefully
prepared Remedies, used for
nearly half a century by the
people with entire success.
NO. SPECIFIC FOR
LEVERS, COMPOSITIONS, determinations
2-WOrms, Worm Fever, Worm Colic....
3-Teething; Collie, Crying, Wakefulness
4-Diarrhea, Of Children or Adults.....a
S-COughs, Colds, Bronchitis. ........-.-
S-Neuralgia, Toothache, Faceache-...
9-Headaches, Sick Headache, Vertigo.
1O-Dyspepsia, Biliousness, Constipation.
l~1-Suppressed or Painful Periods.
12-Whites, Too Profuse Periods...""-.
13-Croup, Laryngitis, Hoarseness----..
14-Salt Rheum, Erysipelas. Eruptions--
15-RheumatisnI, Rheumatic Pains-....
16-Malaria, Chills, Fever and Ague......
19-Catarrh, Influenza, Cold In the Head.
2O-WhOoping COugh...".-.".."."...
27-Kidney Diseases
2S-NervOus Debility.."..".----".
~3O-Urinnry Weakness..--..-"."."
34-SOre Throat. Quinsy, Diphtheria'.-
M77" for HAY
Sold by Druggists, or sent prepaid on receipt ei hrlH
oro - rGrS I Imnv be- assorted, except g, 81 sHe
no rNpyRKys'M ASuAL Enlarged Revised, ~ Z
MED. CO., 11IS ! """H"
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

YTANTEO-SeveraI faithful men or wo-
w men to travel for responsible estab-
Iished house in New Jersey. Salary $3.50,
payable SIS weekly and expenses Position
permanent. Reference. Enclose seif-ad-
dressed stamped envelope. The National,
Stal Building, Chicago. S-2S
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

Spain has 4, 13O, 900 women over the
age of 16.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
THE OLD YELLOW PUMPKIN

How dear 10 the heart is the old yellow
pumpkin,
When orchards are barren of stuff ~ for
pies;
When apples and peaches have both been a
failure,
And berries IF no kind have greeted the
eyes;
HOW fondly we turn to the fruit of the corn
field,
Tie fruit That our children were taught to
despise,
Inc Ola yellow pumpkin, the mud GOV red
pumpkin,
The big belIied pumpkin That makes such
good pies.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

Cashier-"I don't think / can cash this
this draft, miss. don't know you"
Miss-"Here, don't be silly; give me
the money. Who cares if you don't know
me? l don't know you, either. Louis
ollie Courier Journal.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

"Wha are You doing here ?" said the
oma to the tramp, who had got over
the wall just in time to escape the bull
dog.
Madam" he said, with dignity, 81
did intend to request something to eat,
but all l ask now is that, in the interests
of humanity, you'll feed that dog."-
TIT Bits.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

Preoccupation Mother (severely)-
"May, did see Mr.. Dashway strokiug
your hair on the piazza last evening ?"
May-"Yes, Ma; but that's only force
of habit"
Mother-"Habit? What do FOL
mean ?"
May-"Why, he stroked his college
boat, you know."-Neso York Times.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

R~ollingstone Nomoss-"I like the
Fourt' O. July because nobody works."
Tatterdon Torn-"You fergit de fire.
works"
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

"Wha is the complexion of the Jersey
coast?" asked the English g~eologist of
Professor Rox, of New York.
SANDY" said Professor Rox.
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
A LITTLE FUN.

Jaglets-"Wbo invented work, Bill ?"
Raglets-'l doan' know; but he ought
to have stayed and finished it."-ITuM
*4
"a man should live within bis income"
says tie Manayunk Philosopher; "for he
csnn"t live without t."-Philddelphia
Record.
Johnny-"Tommy Jones don't know
how to swim, because his mother don't
want him to go near the water"
Mamma-"Well, Tommy is a good
boy"
Johnny-Yes, he'll go to Heaven the
first time be falls overheard .''-Erchange.
x*x
One Sure Sign of Rain.-''There are
\ plenty OF sure signs of rain," said the
philosophical boarder, "if people would
only pay attention to them"
About thu only sign | know Of" laid
the cheerful idiot, sis mud ."-Iadian
apolis Journal
Applying Her Principles.-Minnie-
SOB, Pm superstitious about Friday!"S
Ida-"Would you decline a proposal on
/ Friday ?"
Observation-Disclosures it we're salts.
factory 10 other respects, l might think il
~unlucky to decline .''-Puck.
NJ
First Passepger-"Do you believe in
putting any tax Oh roads?"
Second Passenger-"No, sir! And the
man who puts 'em there should be
hangedr'
First Passepger-"Be you a Populist p"
Second Passenger-"No, sir; Pm a
bicycle rider. PHILADELPHIA Ledger.
**x
81 say, Captain" said ayouug English
man on board an American clipper, "that
flag of yours has not fioated in every
breeze and over every sea for a thousand
years, has it ?"
mo, it amt" replied the captain;
"but it has licked one that has. "-Y0uth's
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11
aAnuEn,e clMnEa rnmrc

Sold by Druggists, or sent prepaid on IscelPt fl.nT
a5c1 or for 81, Imay be assorted, except % . 1891
DR, HuMPHRKYs' ASUALtEnlaTsei ksnr Ms VauYa,b
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

1.-The object of this League shall be to protect
American labor by a tariff on imports. which shalt
adequately secure American industrial products
against the competition Of foreign labor
The Monitor-register., 1896-09-11

Jaglets-"Wbo invented work, Bill ?"
Ragiets-'1 doan' know; but he ought
to have stayed and finished it.''-ITuM
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
LOCAL NEWS NOTES.

sound money meeting will he held this
evening in the Thompson block Isabel and
South Wabasha streets.
The Periodical Press Co., of Minneapolis.
yesterday filed an amendment to its articles
of Incorporation.
The board of school inspectors will meet
this afternoon.
The National Standard Insurance company.
OF New York, has been licensed to solicit
business in Minnesota.
Judge Kelly approved yesterday the COM
mitment by the municipal court of Mary
Beamer to the state training school at Red
Wing
The state capitol commission met yester-
DAY and cleared up the routine business of the
construction, and viewed the work The
monthly budget of bills was passed
A general meeting Of the four divisions
OF the Daughters of Erin Auxiliary to the
A. Q. H. will be held at Cretin hall this
evening to complete arrangements for a
picnic, to be held Aug. %.
The Williams Hardware company, of Min
neapolis, has filed articles of INCORPORATION
with the secretary of state. The incorpora-
tors are Joshua, Louis H., Charles R. and
Martha ma d L. Williams and the capital stock is
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05

the oyclists responsible for injuries re-
suiting to pedestrians on sidewalks.
Aid. Markham said that if the ordin-
ance did not work successfully, 1t could
be repealed. He thought that exemp-
tons or exceptions might be made
such as would prohibit any sidewalk
riding on streets within certain well
defined districts, Which would obviate
any confusion. AS the aldermen were
divided In sentiment regarding side
walk riding, Aid. Markham moved that
the ordinance be1 re-referred to the
committee on streets. The motion pre-
vailed.
The first official action of the COM
missioner or public works was approx
ed by the board: The commissioner
reported that he had awarded the con-
tracts for painting and repairing the
Seventh street bridge and for painting
several other bridges The awards,
which are printed in another column,
were confirmed.
A communication was received from
Comptroller McCardy in the form Of
resolution directing sthe corporation
attorney to inquire and ascertain
( whether or not the street railway COM
pany Is using bituIninous coal in the
operation of its cable line power house,
and If such is the case, instructing the
corporation attorney to take the neces-
sary steps to prevent the further use
of bituminous coal by the company for
such purpose. The matter was refer
red to-the committee on streets The
communication cites the ordinance pass
ed In 1886, which provided among other
things that no bituminous coal should
be used by the street railway company
in the operation of it's plant for the
purpose of furnishing the necessary
power for the operation of the cable
line. 1t is claimed that the company
is using bituminous coal in violation of
the ordinance
The committee ON markets and pub
lie buildings recommended that the
ordinance to establish public mar
ket on Broadway, between Eighth and
Ninth streets. and to repeal the ordi-
nance establishing market on upper
Third street, be placed on file mo-
ton to adopt the report of the commit
tee. was lost by a vote of six to four,
and the matter was referred to the
committee for further investigation.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05

as Lind was not in town, the chair
was authorized to name a committee
of five to notify him. The committee
consists of Judge Rea, Hennepin; F.
L. Randall Winona; T. d. O'Brien,
Ramsey; E. c. Grindley, Duluth; Harry
Zimmerman Jr., Blue Earth.
s-aF,or secretary of state julius j. Hin
richs, of Hennepin, and Alex. McKin-
7 non, of Polk, were nominated. Hin
richs won in a walk.
For treasurer Geo. Geissel, of Morri-
son, and Alex McKinnon, Of Polk, were
nominated. The GeiSSel men were some
what disconnected by McKinnon's re-
appearance A roll call was ordered
and rushed through without much re-
gard to form. McKinnon was declared
to have received APO votes to 146 for
Gelssel, and the choice was made una
nimous. The successful contestant
made neat little speech of thanks,
and was applauded for his brevity.
Some one had mentioned the name of
c. III. Dart, Of Meeker, for treasurer,
but he was not voted for.
J. N. Castle offered the following,
which was adopted:
Resolved, That the state central COMMITTEES
be and hereby is authorized to create or fill
in the state or electoral ticket, with all plen-
airy powers in the premises.
The delegates from judicial districts
then got together and selected their
representatives on the state central
committee, as follows:
First District-Byron J. Mosier, Washing
ton.
second-T. J. MeDermott, Ed. J. schur-
meier.
Third H. Johnson, Winona.
Fourth-M. Breslauer. Lars NJ. Rand.
Fifth-Joseph Roach, Rice.
Sixth-Henry Zimmerman, Jr., Blue Earth.
Seventh-Frank Zins, Stearns.
Eighth. w. Craven, Carver.
Ninth-Tfm OConnor, RenyilIe.
Tenth-H. T. Tolmie, Fillmore.
Twelfth-C W. Stanton. Swift.
Thirteenth-D. C. Brownell, Rock.
Fourteenth R. McKinnon, Polk.
Fifteenth. G.. Kiley, Itasca.
Sixteenth. w. Eddy, Stevens.
Chairman Champlin was empowered
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
It's Picnic Was a Success.

Last night ST. Paul branch, N. A. S. E.. held
its regular meeting for the month of August
Notwithstanding the warm weather there
were some sixty members present. Three
new candidates were initiated and four new
applications received. The committee on an
nual picnic and outing made its report, which
showed the affair to be a great financial
success. c. N. Ludlow, chairman of the
committee reported that from returns re-
ceived up to date the affair would show a
profit of from SIS to $500. The success Of
this affair is due to the herculean efforts Of
the committee of arrangements, which labored
hard and earnestly. The picnic returned last
evening from its outing about IL O'Clock
one-half hour behind schedule time.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
BEER WAR MOVE.
Brewers Charged With VioIatin-
the Anti Trust Law.

KANSAS CITY, Mo-, Aug. 4.-The
beer war will take on a new phase to-
morrow when the Retail Liquor Deal
ers association will appear before
United States Commissioner Parry
against the local brewers for whom
the association has caused warrants
70 De issued alleging infraction of the
antitrust law. The men against whom
the allegations have been made are
local brewers as well as two or three
representatives Of outside firms. They
nave been notified of the serving of the
warrants and instructed to be on hand
tomorrow for a preliminary examina-
ton.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
Peoples Party Meeting.

The Peoples Party Central Club of Ram
sey County will hold a meeting at Assembly
hall Thursday night at p. m. for the pur-
pose of receiving the reports of the dele
gates to the National convention, and to dis
cuss the general plan of campaign at the i'm
pending election.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
STILL IN THE LAKE,
Body of Gustave Won Goetzen MOI
Yet Recovered.

Despite the efforts of searching parties
which have been at work since the reported
drowning of Gustave Won Goetzen at Coney
Island, Sunday, the body of the missing man
has not yet been found
Herman Scheffer and Louis Scheffer rela-
tives of Mrs Won Goetzen, went to Wa
coma yesterday to aid in the search for the
body.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
watson's Band Mt Como.

The people of St. Paul who patronize Lake
Como. beginning this evening, will have an
opportunity of listening to the music of
Watson's First Regiment band. The band has
recently returned from encampment at Lake
City, and as it has been playing every day
for so long time, 1t is in training, and
plays its pieces with a dash and spirit that
cannot fail to please all
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
Chicago Drummer Hurt.

Isadore Hurwitz, Chicago travelling man,
while waiting for at Greenbrier and
MARYLAND streets at $40 last evening, was
struck by a milk wagon driven by Andrew,
Jackson. Hurwitz was not seriously injured
and was taken to his hotel
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05

Mayor Doran has appointed John Lindou
patrolman in place of William Hart who
resigned by request few days ago. Patrol
man Lindou has been assigned for duty at
the Margaret street station Lindou served
on the police force under the Wright admin
iStration.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
Land Cruisers Resume Work.

The state land cruisers, who have been on
a vacation for a month returned to work
yesterday, their work being Aitkin, Cass and
Itasca counties. September 1 two crews will
be sent into hitherto UNEMPLOYED territory in
the extreme northern part of the state.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
Retail clerks, Excursion.

The Clerks association is elated at the sue
cess which attended their first moonlight ex-
cursion, which proved to be both a social and
financial success. 1t is the intention to have
another one before the close of the season,
in response to the request of a number of
those who attended the first one.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05
Grand Army Encampment.

Attend the G. A. R. encampment and
the Great Minnesota State Fair. The
o e will present you with both
railroad tickets and admission tickets
absolutely free. Read ad in another
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05

to name five at large. which he will do
In day or two. The only increase is
in the eleventh where one additional
member is allowed. Most of the men
named are new timber for the commit
tee
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05

1T WOULD be wise for per-
son intending to assure his
life to study the record of the
Assurance Company proposed
to him, and learn the facts upon
which the promises OF the fu-
ture Dividends and Profits are
based. In other words, let him
ascertain for himself the results
that have been secured by the
Company suggested, in the ac-
emulation of surplus during
its history as we'll as its aver
age profits in recent years,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1896-08-05

IN ENTERING into a contract
which may not terminate for
thirty or forty years, it will we'll
repay the assurer to give the
subject the careful investigation
that would be devoted by him to
any other affair of like mag nj
tude and import lance. Due in
quiry having been made, let the
best company in which TO assure
be selected-one whose past rec
ord and present financial con-
dition justifies the belief that in
the future it will afford both the
greatest security and the largest
profit of any.
Omaha daily bee., 1896-06-19

DUTY Or fo r. and he In turn viii give rs
Iu Ifn.rlef ration under which the rgu1-
try will sutet Igon a new nrl % prosperity
% home and of glory and honor abroad
~ lN these tokens u the present. all these
Promises Cor fhn future. In the name lf
f1rtT-4lx Delegates o. Ohio [ submit bis
claims TO Jour consideration. Loud Cheer
iuE1
as Senator Foraker left The platform he
was met dv IT Z. n. Montgomery n Chi
eaEo. who on behalf o. the republican
club u the University u Chicago. pre-
seutef hum with a large medallion Of Nc
kinney
The nomination was seconded By Senator
1rur1ton. who as chairman has been ne
most conspicuous man n the convention.