The Penn's Grove record., 1896-10-02
PITH AND POINT.

a ZIP BaW-Ho 1t NnlIe you re youhS'
A wind instrumental fan. -Truth.
A man who courts trouble will soon
End himself married to it. -Atchlson
Globe.
Great men are those who profit h
most from the fewest mistakes. -Atchl-
son Globe.
A boys face always looks az II he
had just been eating something
Atchison Globe.
1t is awful to see some people try to
laugh when they are not amused
Atchison Globe.
Men never become so old that they
are not a little scared by bluff
Atchison Globe.
Give a friend a club, and he is very
apt to hit you over the head with IT,
Atchison Globe.
The trouble with giving women
spending money is that they spend 1t.
-Atchison Globe.
Good fortune sometimes comes to
see us in a very shsbby-looking car
riage. -Ram's Horn.
Very often you can show a mar mp
by simply turning him downs HIATT
ford Conn Journal.
Turn about is fair play as the fellow
said when he reversed his cuffs. Hart
ford Comm Journal.
The blessing in disguise should
greet us with a wink, if it expects to
be recognized.-Truth
When a nan approves of anything
his wife does, he mumbles his appro
NATURALIZATION Globe.
Adam was the first man to discover
the value there was in a spare rib
Hartford Comm Journal.
Some people could trace their ances'
try back to Adam if they only knew
his last name.-Atchison Globe.
An Americans idea Of chivalry is to
protect a woman against every man
except himself. -Atchison Globe.
A Western poultry fancier has a hen
| of the MacDuff breed which has laid
an egg every day for over a year. Lay
on MacDuffl-Life.
Inventors of flying machines should
not forget the value of dynamite. That
will make almost anything fy.-Hart.
ford Comm Journal.
He (raptuously)-"You accept me!
Then it's a bargain" She Calmly
"Certainly. shouldn't consider it il
it wasn't. detroit Tribune.
When a girl is in love, she walks
away from the crowd at a party, and
| plays the piano, in the hope that he
will follow her. -Atchison Globe.
Shakespeare spoke of the seven ages
of man. This proves his discrlmina'
ton. Woman has one and generally
sticks to ii. -Philadelphia Times.
A good deal is forgiven a certain
poetess in town; people read her
poetry and remember what a good pie
baker she is.-Atchison Globe.
Express a mean opinion of yourself
occasionally it will impress yoni
friends with the fact that you still
know how to speak the truth. -Atchi'
son Globe.
Widow Sir, I want to collect tn.
life insurance upon my husband
policy" Manager L. I. Company
sis he dead?" Widow-"No, but h
has moved to Philadelphia. Mana
ger--sStep up to the next window ans
get your check, madam. "--Towr
Topics.
Man of Fashion ~(resding in a news.
paper that a village schoolmsster ha
shot himself because he could not pay
u debt of fifty marks -"Ridicnlous
Why if l were to shoot myself fol
every fifty marks that l owe, l should
be kept at it all the year round!'-
Fliegende Blaetter.
The father of the twin babies ha
been left temporarily in charge o.
them. At the end of half an hour h
weakened. "Angeline," he called oui
to his wife, in a voice of agonizine
protest, you'll have to come and TAX
one of these boys. No man can servt
two masters i'--Chicago Tribune.