Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-10-03
BARKER'S BICYCLE.

AAVAA --AAAV ~ 49, ~ -
Barker is an old friend of mine, and this
story is not told with any malicious inten-
ton. Not for the world would I do any
thing to rupture the bond Of friendship
which has existed between us for many
years.
I have had talk with Barker about it
anyway, and he says he doesn't mind,
provided handle the thing in neat and
intelligent way and do not exaggerate,
which shall certainly be very careful not
to do.
Barker is employed in bank during the
day. He has never made it very clear to
me just what the nature Of his occupation
is in that institution, but he can be seen
at any time between the hours Of 10 and 8
seated on a high stool and waving long
black ruler. am informed that he uses
the ruler once in awhile to draw lines with
and even puts down an occasional figure in
a large book that is always open in front
of him, but this is only hearsay, and as I
have promised to confine this narrative
strictly to facts would rather not make
any positive statement about It,
But while 1t may be we'll to give some
short insight into the nature Of Barker
daily pursuits and the general tenor Of his
existence, it is by no means essential to the
full comprehension Of the events with
which this story has to deal, as the scene is
laid entirely after the set Of sun, at which
time Barker ceases to be an ordinary in
dividual and becomes bicycle flend of the
most desperate description. As matter
Of fact 1t is entirely probable that such
would have been his habitual condition at
all hours if he had not found it necessary
for financial reasons to waste his talents
part of the time in bank.
Barker's bicycle is a machine Of the most
approved pattern and equipped with all
the latest appliances for securing speed,
safety and grace. There was one point,
however, on which he experienced great
annoyance. He could never find q device
which would exercise sufficiently star
jump out of his way in as lively manner
as he would like.
"a bell amt worth cent, you know"
he would say to me. "People are getting
SO used to hearing them that they don't
pay any attention to them. ran over
three boys, a dog and an old lady last
week, and it's getting to be a nuisance.
said thought 1t was, and that I had
no doubt the three little boys, the dog and
the old lady also thought SO.
"It's an outrage" said Barker, "when
man can't go along the street without be-
ing tipped over by people who don't look
where they are going. There ought to be
law against it. Now, what want on my
bicycle is some sort Of thing that will
show people who 60 rushing around the
streets at night that they don't own the
whole town.
II don't mind telling you, though"
added Barker, "that 1t will take pretty
smart man to invent something that will
fill the bill. You see it has got to be some
thing out Of the ordinary run. The only
way I can make them move now is to yell
at them, and there's too much work about
that"
SWELL, Barker" said I, 81 am not an
extraordinarily smart man, but If yelling
at them makes them move can fix you. "
How" said Barker
Garry q monograph" said I.
Barker stood for few moments in pro-
found meditation. Then he slapped me on
the back with every appearance Of enthusi-
asm
Perkins, said he, "you're an inventive
genius. Now, here I've been puzzling my
brains for month about this thing and
couldn't hit on simple little scheme like
that. I'll 60 and get monograph right
away"
"There's one thing about it, Barker"
said /, land that is that monographs cost
a good deal Of money"
"What do care for thatp' said he. "I'd
rather pay 800 than be constantly in dan
ger from those reckless people"
One or two evenings after this was
crossing Howard avenue when heard
voice Barkers voice, but with an un-
familiar nasal twang about hallooing
at me, "Look out therep'
Involuntarily started. There was an
uncanniness about tia weird and unnat-
ural emphasis 1t was a voice pregnant
with the ring Of authority, and as step
ped quickly to one side there shot by me
vision Of gray golf stockings, sweater and
cycling cap with which I was pretty we'll
So he had actually rugged up
his wheel with monograph! Darling In
to a nearby bicycle agency, ! hired a wheel
in feverish haste and sped up the avenue in
pursuit Of the fleeting figure IN gray. In
the dim distance could hear the howl Of
the fendish thing as 1t sped on through
the night, and as spun over the asphalt
with the speed Of the wind the space be-
tween US lessened, and began to catch the
medley Of shouts that were pouring forth
from the vicinity Of Barker's handle bars
He had evidently loaded IL with variety
Of expressions suitable for all sorts Of
emergencies, and the thing was splitting
them out with an intelligence that border
ed ON the marvellous.
would you be 80 kind, miss, (" It said
with the accent Of Chesterfield, as wom-
an Of the fat and forty persuasion STEP
ped In the way, "as to turn to the right q
Hitler Aw, thanksP'
And the woman smiled at Barker and
thought he was such polite young man.
A few rods farther on small boy darted
across the street beneath the Pickering rays
Of the electric light
"Hi, therep' yelled the photograph.
'sGet move on you now--yil VII yir'
Whereupon the boy was convinced he was
being pursued by lunatic and fed down
q side street.
Barker" said I solemnly, pushing my
wheel up alongside Of him by tremendous
sfYort, 'you had better take that thing of. +"
why, how do you dos" said ha "Take
y OIL Why"
= Because an, morally certain" said !,