The morning times., 1896-02-23
SIMON SHORTS son SAM.
Sibilant story of the Courtship OF the
Fair Sophronia Spriggs.
- Chif.,i iyu NnwS


Sibilant story of the Courtship OF the
Fair Sophronia Spriggs.
Chicago News.
| ShreWd simon Short seWed shoes. Sew
entcen summers, speeding storms, spread
/ ing sunshine successively saw slmou's
small. shabby sign still standing stauch,
saw Simnns self-Same squeaking sign still
swinging, specifying Simon Short, Smith
fiesd's surviving shoemaker, shoes sewcd,
solcd superfinely.'
Simon's spry, sedulous spouse, Sally
| Short. sewed shirts, stitched sheets, stuffed
sofas.
simon's six stout. sturdy sons-Seth.
Samuel, Stephen. Saul, Shadrach, Stlas-
scld sundries. Sober Seth sold sugar,
! starch spice; simple Sam sold saddles,
sllrrups screws; sagaeious Stephen sold
silks, satins. shawls; scepuca Saul sold
silver salvers; selfish Shadrach sold
salves, shoestrings. soap, saws, skates;
Silas sold Sally Shorts stuffed sofas.
Some seven summers since Simon second
son Samuel saw Sophia Sophronia Spriggs
Sam showed strange symptoms.
sam seldom stayed storing, selling sad
dies. Samsighed wfully sought Sophia
sophronia's 5 society, several surrep-
! titious songs Syly.
Simon storined, scolded severely; said
Sam seemed so silly singing such shame
| ful senselcsS songs.
Strange, Sam should slight such splen-
did summer sales. Suffering spendthrift.
Shattcrhrancd simpleton.''
softly. softly, sire said Sally. SANS
smitten; Sans spied some sweet sylph."
sentimental Schoolboy," snarlcd Simon.
| "Smittpn. sion such stuff
Speaking so. Simon sent Saliy's snuff
box spinning. seized Sally's scissors, smash
ed Sally's spcctaclcs, scattering several
spools.
.Sueaking scoundrel. Sans shocking
Stiffness shall surceasc.'
Scuwling, Simon stopped speaking, start
ing swiftly shopward.
| Sally sighed sadly. Summoning sam, she
spoke sweet sympathy.
sam" said she. Sire Simon seems sin
gulary sDappy; so, sonny, stop strolling
| streets stop smoking segarS. spending
specie superfluously, stop sprucing so. stop
singing serenadcs, stop short, Sell saddles.
sonny; sell saddles sensibly: see Sophia
Sophronia Spriggs soon; she's Spr gbtly,
| she's stable; SO solicit, sue, secure Sophia,
speedily, SAM
$50 soon" Shall SalIy's son Sam so sure
ly seek soup so SOON" said Sam, standing
stock still.
so soon, surely" said Sally. smiling;
specially since sire shows such spirits.
SO Sam, somewhat scared, sauntered
slowly. Shaking stupendously, Sam, So
lnoquizes.
sophia sophronia Spriggs- Spriggs-
Short. Sophia Sophronia Short, Samuel
shorts spouse, sounds splendid! Suppose
she should say-she, she shant! She shan't
She shan't!'
Soon Sam spied Sophia sIarching shirts,
singing softly. Seeing sam, she stopped,
started. saluied Sam smiIingly. Sam stam-
mered shockingly.
.spl-spl-splendid summer season, So
phia?"
somewhat sultry.'' suggested Sophia.
'Sar-sar- tin, Sophia said Sam. 'Si-
lence seventeen seconds)
selling saddles still, Sam
'.Sar-sar- tin,' said Sam, starting sud
5 denly Seasons somewhat sudorific, ~
: said Sam, stealthiIy stanching steaming
, / sweat speaking sensbly.)
s "Sartin," said Sophia, smiling Sgnifi-
/ cantly. sip some sweet sherbet, SAM
= (Silence sixty secondsl
a "Sire shot sixty sheldrakes Saturday,
l SAID sophia
= .'sixty? sho." said Sam. (silence sev
: enty secondsl.
2 See Sister Susan's sunflowers,' said
Sophia, socially scattering such stiff
: silence.
. Sophia's sprightiy sauciness, sunlu
y lated Sam strangely; so Sam suddenly
c spoke sentimentally.
t Sophia said sam, spontaneously
c ''Susan's sunflowers seem saying. Sam
uel Short. Sophia Sophronia Spriggs
d stroll sercncly. Seek some seqUes,eret
( spot, some sylvan shade. Sparkling
II springs shall sing soul-sbooting strains
IS sweet songstcrs shall silence secret sigh
# ings, supeT-angelc sylphs shall
o Sophia snikercd, so Sam stopped
Sophia" said Sam. solemnly.
s 'sam." said Sophia.
IS Sophia. stop smiling; Sam Short
lie sincere. Sam's seeking some sweet spouse
is Sophia"
a Sophia stood silent.
b. Speak. Sophia, speak! Such suspens
b. stimulates sorrow"
Seek sire, Sam. seek sure said Sophia
Il soothingly.
p So Sam sought Sire Spriggs.
IT Sire Spriggs said, "Sartin."