davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
nUMOR OF THE DAY.

Many a man thinks he is discouraged
when all that ails him is laziness.-
New York Advertiser.
A new recipe for making people
happy: Visit them and they will be
happy when you go.-Atchison Globe.
'Come into the garden, Maud
but Maud was much too wise. Said
she: "Oh, no; the corn has ears, and
the potatoes eyes. indianapolis
Journal.
"It is tough, but true" said the
Cumminsville sage, "that a man gem
orally does not get any foresight until
he is too old to have anything to look
forward to. o."-Cincinnsti Enquirer.
Mrs. "There, now, thank
goodness I've sung the baby to
Sleep" Mr.. Kidd-"Poor little chap
When he is twenty-five he won't dare
to go to sleep over woman's singing. "
Truth.
Fogg-"The train at the time was
going sixty miles an hour. l was
brushed off by porter" Henderson
-"Were you injured" Fogg-"To
the amount of quarter. ."-Bos ton
Transcript.
"Tell me-" said the young man pas
Sionately, "is my answer to be spelled!
with three letters or two?" "Three,
said the summer girl, shyly. "Darl'
ing!" "That is to say, il is nit. -
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Don't give up the ship!" the noble captain
cried,
AS with trembling lip hastened to the side.
Mighty good advice; yet If l have followed
This reason must sufIice-that Ihadn't swal.
lowed it.
Truth.
"This car" said the surly passen.
ger, reminds me of an organ. 1t
has SO many stops" "Reminds me
just now of a street organ" retorted
the tired conductor, "it goes with q
crank. philadelphia Record.
Tramp Ito manager of large storel
-'Excuse me. sir, but 1 am in dis.
tress. Will you kindly help me out?"
Manager-"Certainlyl calling por-
tor.) Here, Mike, help this man into
the street. San Francisco Wave.
Miss "Don't you know
that nature rebels against lazinessP A
man can get nothing in this world
without labor" Wrestling Often
"Humphl Can't beP He can git
hungry, I guess. "-Harper's Bazaar.
First Young Lady learning golD-
"Dear me, what shall 1 do nowP This
ball is in a hole" Second Young Lady
docking over n book of instructions)
-"Let-me-see. presume you will
have to take a stick of the right shape
to get it out" First Young Lady
"Oh, yes, of course. See If you can
find one like dustpan and brush. -
Tit-Bits.
"Custard pie" said Mr.. ORACLE, as
he pursued a hunk of the Wand around
his plate with his fork, sis the most
democratic of foods" The new
boarder, who had not learned that lis
teners at table are likely to lose valu'
able time. stopped eating and looked
up. because" continued Mr..
ORACLE, alter his Adams apple had
recovered from the spasmodic move
ments that accompanied the disap'
pearance of the pie, sit is never as.
sociated with the upper crust. And
the meal was finished in silence
Truth,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
LOSING THEIR WIND.

''You have fine climate here" I"
said the visitor to Il resident. "Such q
bracing air"
"Yes," replied the resident, gloom
ily, "but them there bicyclists come
along and pump the air into their
pneumatic tires and carry it of. -
Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

The action OF the German Govern
ment in passing law by which the
Government is to exercise control
over all stock exchanges will doubt.
less result in a similar attempt in the
United States, predicts the New York
Commercial Advertiser. 1t is the
purpose of the German Government
to exercise severe control over the
stock exchange transactions and the
issue of stocks and bonds by new COM
panies, with a view TO lessening spec-
ulation and protecting the public
from fraudulent or uncertain financial
and commercial enterprises. A COM
prehensiye law to this end has just
been adopted by the Reichstag by an
overwhelming majority. 1t is likely
to cause a revolution in the present
stock exchange methods. In the first
place, 1t Is intended TO discourage
stock sreculating by forbidding cer-
tain borsen-termin-h handel Exchange
time contracts) for grain, as we'll as
stocks and bonds. The Government
will assume a certain control over the
stock exchange business, with special
reference to listing on the stock ex-
chance o. leS Issues OF stocks and
bonds or paper of new companies. 1t
will endeavor to maintain less Auotu-
ating and, as the agrarians hope,
higher prices for grain and mill pro.
ducts by forbidding all time delivery
contracts being made on change for
such grain and products.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

1t is not generally known, except
by certain persons whose Office it is to
learn OF such matters, that the i'm
mense sum OF $9,5OO,OO is annually
expended in charity in the city of New
York. That, at least, is the approxi-
mate amount, estimated as closely as
circumstances admit of on the part of
experts. There are about 5000 fam
lilies who are listed "givers" to char
itr
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

A German physician says that STAN
ley owes the fact that he alone Of
those who made up his party has so
long survived the most dangerous of
his African trips to his having SUBJ
mitted five times to TRANSMISSION of
African blood into his veins, which is
believed in Africa to be q great aid to
acclimatization.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
J RAY OLE HOPE.

''My son" asked Farmer Goshley,
"what is it that causes the rotary mo-
tion of the earth?"
"Pm sure 1 don't know, father"
"My son, como to my arms. You
have been six months at college and
there is one thing you are sure you
don't know /"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
An Ariln Yeternn.

Frank Pickering, of Saco, Me-, who
is more than sixty years old, climbed
up a flag pole sixty-five feet high last
week, and used no climbers, either
just simply "shiuned" right up, fixed
the top of the pole and slid down with
the agility Of q boy Of sixteen.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

Whether from superstitious dread,
or from any more real fear, Gustave
Caudell and his wife disappeared.
Probably certain letter, which Lau.
renee wrote on the day of his wedding,
may have had something to do with it.
81 should have given it to him u
good deal hotter" Laurence explained
to his wife afterwards, elf it hadn't
have been for that blessed skirt. 1t
nearly tripped me up once or twice.
1 cant think how you women can
move in them. - Illustrated Bits.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
SLEEP so1JG.


Let's sail to Sleep, my boy
The far-off shore Of Sleep,
Where waters creep, my boy,
Where lotus-meadows sweep
The illes loll upon the tired tide,
The brooding birds songs sound away and
wide,
And tlnkling tones illl copses through the
country's side
Let's sail to Sleep, my boy,
Let's sail to Sleep, my boyl
Bid "bye-bye" now, my boy,
We're over Slumber Sea;
AMI from the prov, my boy,
See-meadows motion mel
Waves touch the crlnkled shores with kiss
AS soft as mothers hand in sickness is,
Aud soft the airs that sing and sigual com
ing bliss
Now rest in Sleep, my boy,
Now rest in Sleep, my boy!
Will T, Halo.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

An optimistic livery stable keeper
says that the use of the bicycle will
die out. Hope, springing eternal in
the human breast, and, in the estima-
ton of the San Francisco Examiner,
has seldom given a more sprightly ex'
hibition than this.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE,
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

The Ins and Outs-A Bad One-Either
Would Do-The Queen Anne STYLE
The Intruder Survived, Etc.
"He'n get well now" they said outside.
"There isn't any doubt.
For by the doctors bulletin
They've got the bullet out
Chicago Tribune.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

Lawn tennis has fallen into q state
Of almost hopeless desuetude in this
country, aud even in England, its
home, it has been eclipsed by the
more fascinating sports of bicycling
and golf.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
A FLAT.DwELLER's WISH.

al wish, said Flatley, who had been
to the circus and was tired; 81 wish
these buildings could be trained to lie
down when we entered them"
He glanced at the sixteenth story
and heaved great sigh. Texas Sitter.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
THE INTRUDER SURVIVED.

Watts-"I wonder if the water is
ft to drink yetP"
Potts-"Guess it is. An eel came
through our hydrant this morning and
il seemed to be in good health. In
iianapolis journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
ONE THING CERTAIN.

Caller-'They tell me, Mrs. Sourly,
that your husband is a bull on the
board of trade?"
Mrs. Sourly-"Don't know anything
about that, but 1 do know that he's a
bear at home. "-Detroit Free Press.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
THEIR BATTLE HYMN.

Mosquitoes are hateful, aren't
they?"
Eyes; 1 don't mind their eating me
# they didn't keep us such ali everlast-
ing complaint about tho way l taste"
Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

never been so surprised ns ut that
moment. For, in an instant, he
found himself staggering about the
place, vainly trying to ward of the
attacks of this athletic girl, who was
fighting him in the most scientific
fashion, all around the room. At last,
stunned and bleeding, he lay with
closed eyes in a corner, and when he
recovered consciousness the girl had
vanished.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
THE F1sHERBoY's LUCK.

When the minister caught the little
boy fishing instead of being at school
the parson asked the lad what his
mother did when he ran away like that
and gave her the slip.
Selves me the slipper.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
ONE WAY oF LOOKING AT IT.

Alethea (blushingly)-."Now don't,
Mr.. Dusnapl Iknow little Ferdinand
Is watching at the keyhole. "
Dusnap-"Well, let's crafty his
curiosity, and then he may go away"
Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
RATES OF ADVERTISING;

One sopars. one inch. one inssrtion..s 100
One SQUARE one inch one month. o.. 800
One Square. one inch, three months. %
One SQUARE one incb' one year r., 1000
Two SQUARES one ear.....,,.,..... Is %
Quarter Column, one year .,.".,,,... ~ OO
Half Column, one year r..,,.,........s 5O W.
One Column, one year.. .......,. lOg W
Legal advertisements ten cents per line
each insertion.
Marriages aud death notices gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements collected
quarterly Temporary advertisements must
be paid in advance.
Job work-cash on delivery.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
EITHER WOULD DO.

Conductor-"Your ticket, please. "
Passenger-''Pm travelling on my
face"
Conductor-"All right; I'll punch
that. Town Topics.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
DOMESTIC METHODS.

"Paw, what is your busy day?"
"Well, happy urchin, it is when 1
stay at home to rest and your mother
gets me to do a few little odd jobs
around the house. Detroit Free
Press.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

In the Nuremberg Chess Tourna-
ments tho young German, DR.. Laskar.
fairly earned the honor of being tho
greatest living player Of the royal
nov,a
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
THE ouFrN ANNE STYLE.

Customer-"I would like to have n
nice gown to wear around the house. "
Salesman-"Size of the house,
please ?"-Philadelphia Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
NOTHING STRANGE.

''They say that the Kickeys have o
big skeleton IN the closet. f."
"Wouldn't be surprised. There
are great many bones OF contention
around there. Detroit Free Press.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
A BAD ONE.

Shells this dress q ftp"
He-"It couldn't be much more OF q
it without being q conyulsion. DO
troit Free Press,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

The Vermont State prison is self
sustaining institution. "Every State
prison should be, maintains the New.
port Or. I.) Herald.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30
A BABE IN THE WOODS,

\ U r e N CE
Gaydon had
gone off alone
on q sketching
{ o u r. Th Q
quain I oil d
rooms in APP
ple-tree-court,
Temple were
locked up;t the
laundress had
expressed the
intention to
"give 'em q
good d oin'
hup" before
bia raft1rp hnI
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-09-30

Dtatisiicions estimate that the
worlds stock OF silver coin amounts to
s4, 600, 900, ,OOc.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1896-01-16
GRAN DEPOSITO
Is caleado y peletes4a de Jaime R3l16s
Atocba. 6 Possce.

En- egte antique como seredltado ests
oleolmiento hay constantemente un elegan-
to variadfsimo surtido de toda cla 80 de
ealzado y de todos prec;os, que Sc renue-
IS mensualments por los vapores directos
Existe tambisn IN co .pleto surtido de
toda clsse de msterisles para zapateros y
sslabsrteros, d-iles y camisas nallorquinas
u,sletae de viaie hauas americanos.
Vanta al por msycr 81 detail. 5 3ps
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14
The Public Debt.

Men in congress who were only recently
bemoaning the fact that the United States
was on the verge of bankruptcy have, in
the last 80 days, talked seriously of $780,
100000 expenditures at Nicaragua, $780,
100000 for coast defences, and 800, O0O,-
900 more for new naval equipment, and
lastly for standing army or reserve corps,
to say nothing of say $l,O00,OOO, the
first year we should enter into battling with
Spain or England.
The public debt of France is over &c.
500,O0O,OOO and double that of Great
Britain, while the government obligations
of both countries sell for more money than
do American bonds representing greater
production than both put together The
Bank Of England fixed the rate of interest
Washington's birthday, 1895, at two per
cent and has not changed it since, the flow
OF gold to and from there having been sat
isfactory to the directors. The amount of
coin, currency notes and money in the
country January was reported as 50, 197,-
600, 236, and in circulation out of the treas
ury 1879, 206,724. The available cash
balance February "a was reported to be
1926, 500, 000-$1O0, 074, SIG being gold.
The net treasury gold is now over $685.
100000.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14
Masonic Meeting Wednesday.

The annual convocation of Royal Arch
Masons of district No 5 will be held in
Masonic hall next Wednesday. The 18th
district includes Windsor No. 6, Windsor
Fort Dummer No. II, Brattleboro; Aba
naqui No. 10, Bellows Falls; Ottaquechee
No. 81, Woodstock; Skitchewaug No. 25,
Springfield; Cascadnac No. 81, White
River Junction. At 2 P. NJ. Abanaqui
chapter, Eminent B. F. Walters, II. p,
will open royal arch chapter in form,
after which Windsor chapter, Eminent W..
w. Jones, II. p, will confer the M. M.
degree; to be followed by Fort Dummer
chapter, Eminent A. w. Crouch, H. P,
comforting the M. E. M. degree. At $50
the royal arch degree will be conferred by
Cascadnac chapter, Eminent o. w. Daley,
H. P.
Several officers of the grand lodge and
several of the past grand officers have sig
niGed an intention to be present. Reduced
rates have been secured on the G. V. from
West Hartford to Windsor and from Lud-
low to Bellows Falls and on the B. & M
from Brattleboro to Bellows Falls.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14
Talents.
In each human life is planted som

In each human life is planted some natu-
raj aptness. If it is intense, men call it
genius; if it appears in lesser degree, it
is known as talent, which, with energetic
cultivation, often outstrips indolent genius.
Our Unborn gifts should be very dear to us
so dear that we must not fold them away
for safety, thus proving ourselves unwor-
thy of them, but bring them out; let them
see the light OF day, and give them every
advantage for perfect development. Work
for them with a will and if your efforts are
true and persistent, your gift, whatever
it may be, will repay you thousand times.
1t will illuminate your ideas, your influence,
and your life with its bfilliance, and make
itself part of your own personality.
Action is necessity with perfect beings,
and progression is law of God so at first
there may be no visible sign of genius, no
tangible proof of what we feel that we can
do, yet persistent daily effort, with your
soul in your work, will unfold your talent
day by day as the flowers open their leaves
to the sun, and if we grow not weary OF
patient endeavor, we shall see our highest
dreams fulfilled. Aside from the duty of
making the most of the possibilities which
Sod has planted in us, striving always to
give to them the best part Of ourselves,
the return is ample, and there is no in
gratitude from these inward promptings.
As soon as we have put our shoulder to the
wheel, feeling of love arises in our hearts
for our work, and it seems to smile back
at us as it grows more shapely and perfect
in our hands. Music, painting, sculpture
are not the only highways of genius and
talent; more homely and useful ways they
often take.
If the woman who has a natural aptness
for dressmaking and the dainty handling
which such a calling demands, instead Of
getting SO tired and wishing she was not
obliged to work, would only love her work
little and try to realize the fact that she
possesses a spark of genius, her happies1
hours would be those spent in her work
room amid the tools and trappings of hel
trade. So it is with anything we really
wish to do.
Some one has said that ssour desires are
presentments of our capabilities" We
may each prove this by working faithfully
to accomplish that which we most desire
and the measure of our diligence will be
the measure of our success.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14
DANGER SIGNALS.
AND WHAT THEY MEAN.
No Fire Without a Little Smoke.

When we are about to do wrong
thing, morally, our Conscience warns
us against it.
Ii you see man about to fall into a
hole, get run over, or walk deliberately
off a precipice, you either shout at him
or try to pull him back.
Wien anything is going wrong in
the body we are always warned.
If it is our lungs, it is by pain and
cough.
If it is our brain, it is by dizziness and
headache.
II it is our heart, it is by faint spells
or palpitation.
If it is our nerves, it is by neuralgia.
Pain, cough, headache, palpitation
and neuralgia are not diseases. They
are simply symptoms or signs that
something is wrong.
To stop these danger signals we
must right the wrong that is causing
them. We cannot do SO by smothering
them under plasters or deadening them
with opiate-.
Kidney disease has but few symp-
toms, but those symptoms are of the
utmost Importance and must not be
neglected.
A little headache, a little dizziness,
darkness and puffiness under the eyes,
irregular action of the bowels, bad taste
in the mouth, dryness of the skin.
ruption aud pimples on the skin, pale
or sallow complexion, srecks before The
eyes, GOODNESS of the feet and legs, dim
ness of vision, all point to either disease
or inactivity of the Kidneys.
Nature is signalling to You. There
is DANGER ahead.
Under the use of DIR. Hobbs
Sparagus Kidney Pills every symptom
of diseased kidneys disappears and the
inflamed or overworked organs once
more regain their health and strength.
Asparagus is Natures own remedy
for the kidneys and it is a wonder
full worker.
DIR. HOBBS Sparagus Kidney Pills
are endorsed by the best physicians and
sold by druggists at 80 cents.
A valuable book mailed free. Ad-
dress Hobbs Medicine Co., Chicago OF
San Francisco.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14
Resolutions on the Death of j. c. Kiniry.

AT a regular meeting of Court William
French No. 4, Foresters of America, held
March ~, 1886, the following resolutions were
unanimously adopted.
Whereas-It has pleased Divine Providence
to remove from our midst our beloved
brother and true friend John G. Kiniry.
Resolved-That we, the members of Court
William French, place on the records of thi.
meeting our sense of the great loss sustained
by this court in the death of SO worthy 8
friend and brother
Resolved-That in the death of John C
Kiniry this court has lost good and faithful
worker; his family good husband and
father, and the community a good citizen
and neighbor. His friends consi-ted of al
who knew him, his kindly manner and
pleasant idispo sition made friends wherever
known.
Resolved-That we extend to his bereaved
family our heartfelt sympathy in this theil
g eat atfiiction.
Resolved-Tbata copy of this expression Of
our sympathy be sent to the family of the de
ceased and also printed in the Bellows Fall.
TINES.
VI: kIss, ,, Committee on Reso
Neil sullivan, Chief Ranger,
MI. Walsh, Recording Secretary.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14

The scenes in the parlors and halls OF
the hotel were amusing and pathetic. One
little knows how much suffering and infirm-
ity there is in the world until some such &C.
casion as this presents itself. One little
wonders that person who has suffered in
tense pain perhaps for years grasps at a
straw, and is willing to try anything as a last
resort.
Notes.
For time it looked like doctors would
have to beat their probing hooks into plow-
shares.
One little girl who visited Newell, sup
posed in all seriousness that she had seen
God.
| A marked decrease in the sale of Tr.ax's
Rheumatic Cure is reported.
Some think that all undertakers within a
radius of 80 miles will be in sack-cloth and
ashes within 40 days.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14
-" Special Delivery"

especial Delivery appeared at the
opera house Thursday evening for the
second time this season, and played to a
very small house. The play has consid-
cradle merit and the company is good
one, but we doubt the policy of playing
any company twice in the same season in a
town Of this size. Since the first appear
ance of this company here several new
specialties have been added, and the per-
Torrance Thursday was highly enjoyed by
those present.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-03-14
Battle of Bunker Hill.

great series of patriotic tableaux begins
next sur day. The Globe next Sunday will
make a new department in respect to its
popular art supplement, and will introduce
something wholly original in every way. 1t
will present to every reader a beautiful
patriotic tableau stage and all the figures and
scenes necessary to ~et up stirring picture
of our most famous New England battle. the
battle of bunker Hill. No pastiDg will be
required, and the plan of erecting this scene
is the most novel, ingenious and yet the
most simple of any that has been offered for
the amusement and instruction of Sund ~
Globe readers. These tableaux will not only
delight tn children as playthingS, but they
will. well. indel;blv impress upon the
youthful MIND the heroic events in American
history.
The sales of The Sunday Globe are increas-
ing so rapidly that an intending purchaser
cannot speak too early in the week il he wants
his newsdealer to deliver at his house. The
Battle of Bunker Hill with next sunday :