davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
THE coMMoDoRE's DYING JOKE
Heard Reporter Wish Him to Hurry
Up, and Pleaded Inexperiencc.

Some reporters We're waiting for news
after midnight recently of the con-
dition of Cornelius Vanderbilt. 1t is no
fun to kick your heels against the pave
ment until three or four o'clock in the
morning, and the reporters grew rest
less. This reminds me-" said one, re-
hectively. "of the death watch on the
old commodore. Things were quite diff
ferent then from what they are now.
When the old commodore was lust
taken i'll lie used to send for MS every
day and have us up in his room ana tell
ms all about himself. He used to read
the papers, and he noticed that great
deal OF space was devoted to him.
well. boys he said. one morning.
4 hope | live a little longer, for your
sakes You seem to be making lot of
space out of me-
FINALLY. though. when he became too
i'll to see us. we had to camp out as we
are doing now. and il soon became
tedious. We used to camp about 20
feet from the front of the house in
which the old gentleman lay. and some
times You could hear what was said in
the sickroom.
Nmong us was certain gentleman
who is now the respected father Of
family. He was rather impatient. II
was late mt night. He had voice in him
like bull
"'Oh, why don't he die?' he sudden
~ exclaimed, petulantly.
I'VE thought no more of his remark
until few minutes later. when trim
servant girl came out of the house.
She looked us over and watched us for
few moments. Then Doc said some
thing and she came over to him and
handed him note. He opened it, won
dering what ii could be. On the paper
was n score or so of words written in
the old commodore's well-known
scrawl. They read:
"'I rust YOU will pardon me. but as
this is the first time | have ever died I
am little inexperienced and don't ex-
actly know how to go about it. If you
will bear with me little while, how
ever. | will Try to do my best.
THE old gentleman had heard the
pious relnar>, and ii had been too much
for his grim sense of humor"-N. Y.
Press.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
DOWN ON SAM WHITE.
He Wanted His Old Partner 20 Feel A
Badly as Possible.

A freight train had struck an open
| switch and score of ears had been piled
ND in the ditch. OF the three tramps
stealing a ride on the bumpers two were
| taken out dead and the third fatally in
jured. When the doctor had told him
that he could not live beyond an hour
the wayfarer replied:
That's cutting ii pretty short. but
I'm not kicking. I've no relations. but
thar's feller out in Chicago | wish
yoa't. drop line to. His name rs Sam
White. and we used TO be pards.''
What shall say to him?" asked the
doctor. as he prepared to make notes.
Il want you to speak of the accident
and say that among the distinguished
passengers on the Inflated tram was
Mr.. William Burton. I've always been
called Bill, but you kin make it William
this once"
"All right"
Say that he was on his way TO Florida
sort"
yes
And that search of his personal eff
fects brought to light the sum of 60
cents in cash and enough grub TO last
for two days"
~ have il down"
"And when he was told that he must
die he exhibited great stoicism and did
not utter single complaint
"Nes. Anything more?"
add 10 that something TO the effect
that he had been Il tramp for 20 years.
and that he died as he lived without
bringing disgrace 10 the cloth, Hitch
on a trailer by saying that he had gone
10 his reward. You needn't make any
guesses rs 10 where he has gone or To
what the reward is, but leave it an open
question. want 10 make Sam feel rs
had as kim
Then he injured you?" queried the
doctor.
He did, and | never kin forgive him.
After trampin' with me fur ten years
he left me to open Il grocery store and
became an alderman and gin other
tramps the cold boot and disgraccd the
purfesb Durn his hide, doctor. but put
il strong to him and finish up by sayin'
that the most superficial observer could
see that I was gentleman, and that my
gain is the loss of the fraternity. IF
you have room you kin say that
that"
That be passed quietly away and the
railroad buried him its own expense"
finished the doctor, as he turned away
from the dead Washington Star.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
MAN wants but little here below,
AS some one said before.
But when he gets it. don Won know
lie wants n little more.


The South is destined to be, ana israri6y
becoming, the garden of the United STATE:
Here life is easier TO live. thc rigorou, Nh.
tiers do not eat mp tie fruits OF the toi, Of
summer, nor are the summers SO tryies as
many northern people have supposed n
used 20 live only half the year" said 4
northern farmer recently settled IN Ne
south, and | used 10 work al tho line
then. Now | work half the time aui Ike
all the year through
Home seekers excursion tickets will Be
sold over The Mouon Route 10 nearlr al
points in the south N the rate Of one fr,t
class fare zone way): tickets good re.arn.
ing on any Tuesday or Friday witlir 81
days from date of sale Liberal stop0yeE
are allowed. These excursions start a,l
tickets are sold Aug. II. IS and 81 ScrtL
Ia, 10: Oct ). q, - ana % Cali on a.y
agent Of the Mouou Route for further lrisS
nation. or address FRASK j. REEp, e. ?.
A., Chicago.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
A Trying Position.

Old Mrs. M, who was seriously
Ill, found herself to be in a trying posi-
ton which she defined to a friend in
these words:
"You see my daughter Harriet is mar
ried to one O. these homeypath doctors
and my daughter Kate to an allypath.
III call in the homeypath my allypath
son-in-law an his wife git mad, an IL
! call in my allypath son-in-law my
homeypath son-in-law an his wife git
mad, an il go ahead an git well with
out either o. 'em then they'll both be
mad, so don't see but I'd better die out
right."-Detroit Free Press.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12

Hon. George A. Ramsdell was nomi-
the republicans in state convention at
Concord. \. II.
Gen. John NJ. Palmer. United States
senator from Illinois. was nominated
for president of the United States Ivy
the anti-silyer democrats ut their see
cnd and last days session ut lndiaDapn.
lis. Ind. and Gen. S. b. Buckrer. Vt
Kentucky. was nominated for vicC pres.
ident. Only two candidates were put in
nomination for president--Gen. Palmer
and Gen. Bragg. of Wisconsin-the for
mer receiving 1919 votes and the lat.
ter i24H. Gen. Buckpcr was nominated
by reclamation. The platform declares
for single gold standard. demands
strict economy in the appropriations
and in the administration of the gov
eminent. denounces protection, favors
arbitration for the settlement Of inter-
national disputes. favors liberia! poll
cy OF pensions 10 deserving soldiers and
sailors of the United States and in.
dorses the administration of President
Cleveland.
NHufTIuHu W !. -. ihNUuH1. VI Int M
tional committee of the Sound money"
democratic party, has announced that
the headquarters will be located in Chi
cago. with branch in New York
The democratic state convention Of
Nebraska met in Omaha and inhorsed
the nominees of the populist state con,
vention held recently ut Hastings.
The democratic state convention in
session ~ Missoula. Mont, ard the pop
ulist convention nominated fusion pres
identinl and state tickets. headed by
Silas Malcomh for governor.
Congressional nominations were
made as follows: California. Third
district, ". II. English demo Ken
lucky, Eleventh district, James ID.
Black (dem.). Maryland, Fifth district.
Robert Moss (dem.l. Michigan.
Eleventh district. J. G. Ramsdcll (dem).
New Hampshire, First district. c. A..
Sulloway (rep0; Second, +. 6, Clarke
(rep.); Fifth. John T.. Nash (dem.).
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
a.oo TrpcE Farms In Virginia.

September lst end 18th and October and
81 Home Seekers Excursion Il keis VII 5e
sold from points in the west aad noFt+~5st
over lie Big Four Route and Chesa cake
and Ohio Rv. u Virginia AT ore fare p.us
81 for the round trip Those who hGyelp-
vestigatcd tue state are o; one opinion mat
Virginia is the best state IN the INCA 70,
day for farmers. Situated at The 90 : OF
the great eastern markets WIN cAeap
trans, orta;ion and a perfect climate y has mas
advantages that cannot be overcome small
farms may be had for $40 per acre aEe up
ward according TO location anu ll.lr9,ln,e'
ments. For descriptive pa!aphie, o. w:
rates address L. l.. TRvIrr. y. W. I. 4. U
a. o.. Big Four Route, 234 Gle: k ST. chicago
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
The Modern Mother.

In her love for the picturesque many
modern mother is IN danger of i'm
violating her child's sensitiveness or
bashfulness on the shrine of the little
ones clothing. For example, woman.
who has collected many quaint and
pretty things in frequent trips abroad,
lately asked her small daughter if she
would like to wear certain Dutch cap
at church on Sunday morning. The
little girl hung back Mt first. and no
wonder: the white head-dress had two
great lace flaps, which swung on each
side of the head like wings. and at
tracted as much attention when the
juvenile consent was finally gained as
did the minister's preaching. That
mother. although in the main a wise
sort of person, never paused to reflect
that she was doing one of two undesira-
bile things-either the conspicuous
dress would wound the wearer's feel
ings by the notice which it obtained. or
IT would make her callous to the same.
and so bold that she did not mind a
stare or q laugh. Either of these re-
suits is n real evil, and one to be de-
plored.-Philadelphi Public Ledger.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
Good News from South Daao..

The glorious results of this se,so.,.
harvest OF golden grain will pour a ,,'sons
OF sound money into the pockets of ,re'aa
Dakota farmer. "a every
South Dakota has thousands Of aeros .,
cnoice farming and ranch land lying est ~
the Missouri river, and within oSc 1o,' VI
ride from Chicago or Milwaukee,. who S1 cas
now be bought reasonably chcan In, -. ian ian
vanccd in price. W aa'
The. stock raising industry in South IA
kota Is profitable, and eastern col,itai 70 !.
growing in that state. N+'ep
Diversified, farming, the growing Of lice
stock, and the products OF he tlairr i aro
placing South Dakota forem os, in tht r,r ~,s
OF tie successful western states Gag
Those desiring full information IN Nh,
subject, and particularly isosc WHO l,isl, =,
seek a new home or purchase Land, ara "a,
9ucsted to correspond with W. Z Powell
General Immigration Agent. 40 Old Colony
Buiiding, Chicago, H., or II r. HEATER
linn grafton Ag'ut for Sou h DaE n, ~
Dearborn st, Chicago, H.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
DIplomacy.

Mrs. Hendricks (proudly walking out
OF the sewing-room)-Well Percy, how
do you like my boomers?
Mr.. Hendricks-Oh, they do very well,
but, dear me, how much older than
rsual they MAKE you look
On the following day neat package
intended for the far-away heather, was
forwarded from the Hendricks home.-
Cleveland Leader.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
HINTS FOR THE HOME LA,,no.,

The difficulty experienced h..
keepers generally in HAVING wa nSuse-
dcne at home causes many who uing
afford the expense to send their I'm ian Ill
to laundries, where inferior soo' aes
injurious washing fluids ara and
while II proper attention is givo. "Seu'
work it may be done quite as sat- .ne
torily in the home laundry. 'ac'
Assert the clothes, divide tba 80,
and bed linen from the wearing anna que
and the fine garments from the coIora, N.Y.,
First immense the white artiolo"
hot water and wash carefunv 80,
Ivory soap. After all are taken n ro ""a
the suds, put in a tub. pour boiIinc u W
ter over them, let cool, wash ont IN W., wa
water, rinse in blue water n. Ear
starch and hang on the line, Tho aps
ored clothes should then be w..s o
in the same way, without scoiJ;rN
When all are dry they should be ,alG s,
from the line, sprinkled, folded aron,
and laid in the clothes basket ny
ironing must be done with hot n,oa
irons, and the clothes hung nm - . s'
ELIZA r. PARKER
THESE" said. the poultry farmer ro,,,
Ing 10 group OF energetic hens, ..ara ' Wae
ours" what queer name.n Observes
caiGa thav nj yvava lo,, -, :, 'NN' BE-
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12
Low Rate Excur..ons south.

On the first aud third Tuesday OF eacn
month till October about halt-rateS ior
round trip will be made 10 p?!uL'
in the South BY the Lousvllle S@ sa,
about IL. aud IL he cannot sell you exeur'
sion tickets write to C. F. Atmore zen.
cral Passenger Agent, Louisville, NY ~ q
J. X. Ridge.y. n, w. p, A.. chicago III
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12

EXPLOSIONS Of Coughing are stoppeuU!
Halc's Honey Of Horehound and Tar
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12

Which is the oldest, Miss Aniiqg,E, olu
Aunty Diluvan. Miss Anu Terror, Mls, AM nn
Cestor. Miss Ann Il. Mundane or MISS Ann
T Ccdcpti
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1896-09-12

There Is lime tree at Nuestadt,
Wurtemberg, which is said to be the
largest in Europe. 1t is over 1000 years
old.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-08-12
Riding a Donkey.

When we were boys our first lessons in
riding we're taken on (and off the back OF
a donkey He was creature of change
able, but, on the whole, amiable disposi'
tion. When his temper gave way before
the trials 10 which we subjected il, we
took many lessons in that gentle art OF
falling off which is SO useful supplement
TO the science of riding as more generally
understood. We can make this avowal
without any sense of shame now, for it
happened once on day forever memor-
able, that our donkey kicked off our riding
master himself in all his glory of boots
and breeches.
Joe, the coachmans boy, declared all
our theory of donkey riding to be incor-
rect, and it is significant that though the
donkey could kick off the riding master
boots and breeches aud all, it entirely
failed to shake Joe from his seat by any
of its antics. But then Joe's method was
entirely different from that of the riding
masters. 1t was, indeed, so simple a.
scarcely to deserve the name Of method
being contained in the single precept that
YOU should sit as near the tail of the ami.
NAL as possible. That was the sum total
of his theory of donkey riding, and il
worked 10 perfection in practice. Our
uncle, who was in the navy, explained the
mechanics of Joe's style Of riding nauti-
cally. Its as plain as Il pikesiaii," said
he, that when you've got all the weight
in the stern the craft isn't likely to 60
down by the head"
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-08-12
Knots red bu MachIlery.

If inventions continue to multiply at
the present rate, the day may speedily
come when man will have to sit with fold
ed arms while his work and even pleas
ures are turned out by nickel in the slot
devices. Science has lately given US a
marvel in the shape Of card counting
machine. Two Of the most interesting
automaia now working within the limits
of the United States arc th,se used by the
government, for counting and tying pos
tai cards into small bundles. These ma
chimes were made in Connecticut, and the
two are capable of counting 100000 cards
in ten hours and wrapping and tying the
same in packages Of tweBty-each. In this
operation the paper is pulled off a drum
by two "fDgers" which come up from be-
low, and another finger dips in vat oi
mucilage and applies itself to the wrap
ping paper in exactly the right spot
Other parts of the machine twine the pa
per around the pack of cards and then a
thumb" presses over the spot where the
muciIage is, aud the package Is thrown
upon a carry belt ready for delivery.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-08-12
In One Family for a Century.

The homestead of the late Sophia Kali,
At the head Of Connecticut avenue, contain.
ing about ten acres, will be sold at public
auction. This property is one of the few
parcels Of real estate in the district that has
remained in one family for over century,
it having been formerly owned and occu.
pied, together with about 700 more acres,
by Anthony Homead, one OF the original
proprielors of the City Of Washington and
the grsnl father Of the deceased Mrs. Kali.
This sale is a chancery suit by certain Of
Mrs. Kall's heirs for the purpose Of parti.
lioning her property. The deceased owner
was several times offered fabulous prices for
her home, but always refused, preierring to
keep it for her residence - Washington Post.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-08-12
4 CteCer HG ick.

A description Of most remarkable
hawk has been sent from Ireland. A
farmer in the south of the country has q
herd of seventy ive cows, which have to
be sent daily to some outlying common
land at some distance from the farmhouse.
His son, a lad of about sixteen, a year OF
two since took hawks nest with young
ones in it, killing the parent birds, who
had been flying off with his fathers chick
ems. One of the little birds he reared,
making a great pet Of it as it grew up.
and every day for a considerable time he
took it with him when he went to fetch
the cows.
A short time since the boy injured bis
foot so that he could not walk. His IA
tber was absent, and so it came about that
no one was able to 90 for the herd
What was the surprise Of the boy and his
mother to see the cows come into the yard
not much after the usual time. The fact
was that the hawk had gone alone, and
had succeeded in bringing up the whole
herd unaided.
The next night Mr.. Hawks methods
we're observed. He first Of all gathered
his herd together in the most skilliul way
and then started them off for the farm
When a COW loitered he flew at i fiercely,
and if it refused to quicken It's steps he
struck it with his great wings. When
his herd was in good order he perched
himself with great assurance on the horn
of the last COW.
Since then the hawk has always been
sent for the cows at o'clock, and he Is
seldom behind hand in bringing them up.
His fame has spread abroad, aud many
people have visited the farm to see him
perform his clever task.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-08-12
Handiness Of Electricity.

Electricity, light, heat and chemical
action are all in essence motion; electric
ity is the most desirable of them all be-
cause it can most readily and fully be-
come the source or issue of any other
The pre-eminent sensitiveness of electri-
cal apparatus makes it supassiDg means
of measuring minute portions of space or
time, of lighl, heat, chemical activity or
mechanical motion. Hence brood of
telltales of widely contrasted purposes
Selenum, a metalloid of the same lineage
as sulphur, and beiraying its descent by
a striking resemblance, has the curious
property of transmitting electricity more
freely in light than in darkness, a stick
of selenum therefore, is the pivot Of de-
vice to give warning when extinction be-
falls lamp charged with important duty.
In thermometers circuit broken or COM
pleted acts as a fire signal, or, on ship
board, heralds the approach of an iceberg.
Electric fingers sound a gong when the
water recedes below the safety level in a
steam boiler, or report an attempted
breath of bolt, or bar by the burglars
Jimmy. Each of these warnings can be
registered at distance, so that in case of
neglect by an attendant there can be no
disputing the fact. Now, if an electric
alarm can summon a servant to duty why
may not the inventor 60 further and so
add to his device that it shall of its own
motion do what needs to be done? Ac-
cordingly, we find furnaces fitted up with
electrical control, SO that the draft is
opened or fuel added when the tempera
lure falls too low, or the reverse when the
flame is too fierce when the fuel is gas
this stoking leaves nothing to be desired.
New mechanism of this kind is constant
ly being contrived. The inventor who
began by conferring electric nerves on
muscles of brass and iron has, thanks to
electricity, gone the length Of combining
his words aud magnets into something
very like a conscious aud responsive
brain his intelligence eliminates in du-
plicatng George lies, IN Popular
S,n,c,,nr lInufLL
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-08-12
FOR RISING BREAST
Makes Childbirth Easy.
IA AMUSING Debate.

When, in the old days Of trouble be-
tween the English and French, there was
talk of sending Admiral Hawke to sea to
keep watch over the enemys fleet, there
occurred notable interview. 1t was
November The weather was stormy and
dangerous for vessels aud the government
was not agreed as to sending them out.
Mr.. Pitt, who was in bed with gout,
was obliged to receive those who had bus
iness with him in his chamber. This
room had two beds and no fire. The
Duke of Newcastle came to him TO con-
slider the sending oui of lbe feet, and had
scarcely entered the room when he cried
out, shivering all over with cold:
"How is this No fire ?"
NO" said Mr.. Pitt. "When have
the gout l cannot bear one"
The duke, wrapped in his cloak, took
a seat by the invalid's bedside and began
talking, but he found himself unable to
endure the cold.
"Pray allow me-" he exclaimed sud
denly, and, without taking off his CLOAK
he buried himself in the other bed and
continued the conversation. He was
strongly opposed TO riskiDg the feet in
the November gales. Mr.. Pitt was abso-
lutely resolved that it should put to sea,
and both argued the matter with much
warmth. 1t was the only warmth, in-
deed, in the room.
81 am positively determined that the
feet shall sail" said Pitt, accompanying
his words with the most lively gesticula-
tions.
at is impossible 1t will perish y said
the duke, with equal emphasis.
At the moment the discussion waxed
hottest another dignitary ofthe realm came
in and found it difficult to keep bis coun-
tenance at the sight OF two ministers de-
liberating on matter of SO grave impor-
,ance from such a novel situation.
The feet did put to sea, and Dir.
Pitts judgment proved to be right. The
enemy was crippled and a signal advan-
tage gained Youths Companion.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1896-08-12
Freak Of an Old Duck.

One of the oldest ducks in San Fran
cisco is named Tom, and he belongs to
Charles Young, who lives in the Potroro,
about two blocks back from the shores OF
the bay. Tom is nearly six years old,
and up to few months ago was always
dignified and correct in his demeanor as
the ordinary duel About that time
however, he became possessed of 4 strange
desire to accumulate all the old shoes Oh
the water front.
Early every morning he starts out by
himself and is often gone for several
hours. When he returns he is sure to
bring an old shoe and store it away in
the poultry house. As soon as he feels
satisfied that nobody will interfere with
it, he starts out again, and soon returns
with another. He will keep this up all
day, and if shoes are plentiful will have
several dozen in places stored away by
nightfall.
Tom had been at this peculiar business
for several days before he was discovered
and when his owner went TO the poultry
house aud saw the piles of old foOtweal
he thought that he was being made the
victim of a practical joke. He dumped
the old shoes out and was more than sur
prised to see Tom deliberately start to
carry them back again. Young carried
the shoes as far away as Ire could, but IL
few hours the duck had them where he
wanted them, and started out for more.
Since Tom has been in the shoe bust
ness he has forsaken the other ducks alto
gether, and seems 10 have but one desire
in life. People who have seen him Ihihk
that is a case of the duck going crazy.
Mr.. Young has given Tom his own
wav the last six months, and made 1t a
business to throw the shoes out every few
days, so as to give him a chance 10 carry
them back again. But he says it Is get
ting mouotonous, aud that if Tom doesn
get over his fOolishness soon he will be
forced to try remedy that will surely
cure him, although he hates this because
Tom is too old aud tough to make good
eating,-Son francisco Call.