The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-11-28
The RETURNS AS RETURNED
ORGANIZATIONS, Combinations and Ar
rangements" by the County Clerks.
FEW OF The CANDIDATES ESCAPED.
The Legislature should Address ITSELF
Promptly and Gravely to the Task of
Preventing "a Repetition Of the Farce

Va
In the good old days Of school-boy-hood
one Of the leading textbooks was "Da-
vies' BourdOn's Algebra. n among the
many perplexing titles therein was one
known as 'Pormutations, Combinations
and Arrangements" Given so many let
tiers Of the alphabet as a, b, c, d, permute
them, combine them, arrange them in as
many ways as possible, 50 that no two
shall be alike, and yet the same factors
shall enter into every result. See the
possibilities, OF it by a trial, and then
cease not 10 marvel at the miracles or
mathematics.
Many OF our county clerks, who are
also eX-oficiO clerks of the County Board
of Election Commissioners have annoyed
US with their mathematics in making up
the returns OF the late election OF presi-
dental electors. and their special forte
and talent seems 10 lie IN the direction OF
permutatiOns, combinations and arrange
mcnts. with this defect only, that the
afiX 'Jr." il a pOns asinOrum that few
OF them can cross. Therefore. they fail
signally TO fulfill a vital condition OF am
accurate result ia having each factor
OF their formula a part and parcel there
OF. Abiit. oyasit. erupit-thc best trans
"a y" NNH.AA ~ HN-
Junior the nominatiye case TO the elu-
slvc verbs. every time.
The Times. no doubt. feels n peculiar
sympathy for It's political friends ana as
| sociates. james Bumgardner and john H..
Harris. both Of whom identify themselves
by the aid Of the little sufiX. II would
almost seem that the clerks wished TO
illustrate the scriptural parodoX by maxi
ing examples OF these two electors ON
A. H.H.-- .-H UHHAIm.r fH|I.f fNHIHn
him that hath not even that which ne
hath shall be taken away
The case is painfully different with Mr..
Yost. whose election TO the House OF
Representatives, from the Tenth district
Of Virginia. had been conceded until the
permutatiOns. etc, of the county clerks
came 20 be examined by the Board OF
state Canvassors. 1t was a very modest
appcllation under which Mr.. No-t had
chosen 10 appear as a candidate for the
suffrage OF his fcllOw-citizons. not Jacob.
nor J0uadab, nor anything hg~h-soundins
and un-Republican. but only plain, SIM
pie. u~nassuming u. YOst.' Most Of the
clerks in his district were content 10 send
in the returns for him by the name he
had chosen 10 be known on the official
ballot. Not so in high-s0unding Buck
ingham. The result is that instead Of
one candidate named Yost I'm the district
we nave NANff- If IAhf anu Jt|NW -
each running against the other. though
an are believed to bee the same man.
Jckyll and Hyde are quite outdone.
The Supreme Court OF Appeals has been
called upon 20 hold a "Crounor's quest
and advise the Board of state Canvassers
whose is the corpse. ana which Cock
Robin has been killed. But the county
clerks killed him beyond AN peradvcuture,
as even his competitor CALAMITY admits.
TIE UNHORsING CF WALLACE.
The real catastrophe of the situation
seems. however, TO Doe the unhorsing of
Mr. Wallace. clcCtor for this district.
who also is Handicapped by a. Junior
The clerks exhausted their ingenuity ON
him, ald 10 looks at this writing as IL
their Ingenuity has been fatal 10 bis am-
bltion. The preponderarce of testimony
is 10 tho effect that Charles NJ. Wallace.
Jr. was one Of the Bryan electors voted
fc- az the late election 1t was believed
that he had been elected by a majority
of about twenty thorsand votes. But
there were other Rlchmcrds I'm the field
incorporating under the name of Wal
lace. Will variations. The names Of these
Knights. in the nomenclature of the c1un-
ty and corporation clerks (whO appeared
O. have "A weakness for aliases. and many
OF whom will doubtless Dee able TO prove
an alIbi after the next county elect0n-)
were Charles ~. Wallace. Jr.." " VI.
Wallace no "Jr.." Charles VI. WAL
iacc.' 10 'Jr," Charles NJ. Wallace.
Jr.," &C.. ". Wallace. Jr.," and "Chas.
M. Wallace. mo "Jr.,' so IL these Dee am
one and the same man il is 20 clear case
OF feio de So. TO conquer ones self is
Said 10 be the nobicst victory and 10. Mr.
Wallace has won IT,. yet his victory is
hut defeat and dismly-'yictriX at Nidua'
i'm the masculine gender.
Nor will Cyclone Jim Marshall Doe
able 20 recognize himself after the hurri-
cane. ANA thc loss of some fourteen thou
sanu votes that ought 10 stand 90 his
credit.
Mr.. Lurty. "the kinsman Of stonewan
Jackson" suffers. vicariously as warren
s.. wv. s. and WILLIAM S."
Mr.. LOuthan. is Garter NJ &C.. NJ
and Carl and is hardly recognizable
In one county ass Luthin. unless. indeed.
this Doe "a lisp for "LOOsin' Do. once Slemp
is "Stemp." Barton Wise becomes Mar
tin Wise; Morgan Treat. is badly enc
treated into Morgan Trent, and other
wise. EdmOnson becomes "EdwigtOn.
Dr. Hcuniug grows nshy and Is returned
Herring" Brother Jonathan Stovall
loses his historic identity and is simple
"J"; and Benjamin Hooper. is again a.
lost tribe as "B. Hooper only.
And so il goes 10 the end OF the chap
ter. hardly "a candidate ON any ticket es-
Gaping. and the commOncr the name the
greater number OF liberties taken with
il.
ID. i. c.. DeJarnetto escapes with n
single abrasion. and IL looks as II the
Republican Simmons is 10 have the
largest pole whcrewlth 10 knock down
his adversary, which Us another score for
old Flu and race horses.
SAD COMMENTARY.
The city Of fredericksburg. heretofore
considered the home OF i%ndignity. rcp0se.
ana serenity. and ass having time enough
en- It's hand 10 maxi all things even.
made twenty-thrce errors in the returns
o. 20 the names OF the electors.
Tn hoanoke. the abstract was no doubt
made up "by maggie ass she escaped with
only fourteen mistakes. Such things are
looked for from Stauuton and Williams
burg. the homes Of the colleges. so 10
SPEAK, but il is %calamitcus 10 lose the
entire vote of the ancient capital" for
several of the candidates, "a "demnition
tol4l." OF one hundred and thirteen,
Hanover. the home of Henry and Henry }
Gay, and Orange. that holds the dust Of
Manson. are also in default, and many
others. but Newport News can plead the
baby act.
A. must not be thought that these
things are not regarded seriously be-
cause they have been treated herein in "a
ton had been close in the Electoral Col
lege. and depended upon this one vote
OF Virginia that is at least suspended by