The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-05-31

New York. May SD. 1851 have always
had a great admiration for that much la
mented lady, who, on her death bed, con-
fied to her doctor the secret OF her
popularity. She said, as she looked up
a. him with eyes overhowing with kind
ness and love, Il always have patience (
with fools" I wonder how many kinds
Of fools she had met? They are all over /
the face Of the earth. but rhey differ. Did
YOU ever look at a bunch Of asparagus
one stalk is thick, one is thin, one is
crinkled up one is stubby, but they all /
have the same green ends. That is the
way with fools. Although between you
and me, I don't think There is the same
delight in a bunch of fools that there Is
u q bunch Of asparagus And yet, if you
look at a fool from the standpoint Of folly
alone. there is a certain amount Of pleas
ure IN him. But If he happens 10 be
mixed up in a business transaction, in a
family affair, or I'm something that is go
ing to hurt somebody's heart. then be-
ware of the fool
fool that too often appears in society
is the jocular fool He tells stories over /
which the grass grew hundreds OF years
ago. He tells stories of which he forgets
the point. And. most devilish OF all, there
are times when even fool seems to have |
an ability peculiar to the devil ne asks
c0nundrums. With a giggle, ne expects
you to trouble yourself about them. For
the iocular fool. the best hereafter would
seem to be a continual reading Of the
Jokes of Joe Miller and the works of
Mark Twain. can there be anything more
dreadful? To have TO read Mark Twain
at all is diabolical. but to read him for \
ever and forever would be worse than any
he'll that Dante ever pictured. Next to
the Joking fool. comes the gushing fool.
This type may be either masculine or
feminine If it is feminine, and you are
a woman, it kisses you, addresses you as
darling OF sweetheart and calls on who
ever may be about to admire your VIZ
tues If you happen to be masculine ms
fool says: isn't he great man Dld
YOU. ever hear anything so clever IN an
your life, and isn't he the nandsoIile53t
man YOU ever saW2'. An eternal KICK
Nexf I'm order comes the athletic fool.
He or she spends the greater part OF tne
money possessed in getting goI SUITS,
tennis suits or bicycle suits. That you
shouldn't play golf or tennis or rue me
bike is a surprise to the athlellc Lool'
That you should care, on sunsnlny gay;
for a pleasant corner OF the piazza anu
an interesting hook, is something not
understood by the athletic t0ol VINO eA,
meets YOU 10 come out in the sun and
work at the chosen enjoyment - unl.l
your hair is out Of crimp, uhll lne per
and until you are bloWzy and LOOK IKE
anything but a gentlewoman. Don mis-
understand me; approve ouI-uooI sPoI -,
but just as l approve or lhuoOI Ollea' ~
moderation. l am temperate woman, iot
a prohibitionist, but when near the alh-
letic fool talk of his golf stick, his tennis
racquet or his bike all day long, am
sure that his hereafter will be one OF qulSgII
meditation. He or If his sex Is she' VII WI
haVestosle learn the delight Of sltIlng- sun.
Nv the bve this is essentially becoming
to women. and I wonder that more OF
them haven't found out how attractive
The fool On a bike is a fool much. more
difficult to bear than any other KIND ne
gets a wild look in his face, and ne gets
10 think that no person except those on
bicycles are worth consideration II ne
happens to be a she, and some other sRe
saws TO her, ooh, / saw such pretty
gown" the bicycle fool says, DO you
wear boomers or Knockers under itF She
has forgotten all gowns except nose 't t6o
are to be worn astrlde Ine Whsea dIlu, anu, ' Io
often she forgets all virtues lhal may "
cultivated except those governed py ~, tne
laws of the road and her special cycie cruz
Among the he fools, one or the most Oh
fensive is the ladylike one. his clOthes
are immaculate; his voice, even IN speak
ing is a tenor and he does lovely drawn
work speaks of his mother as mamma,
and likes the dear girls, on! ever 50 inQcH
lieVe there is any hereafter for him. Hon
estly l don't because i don tnlnk ne
has a soul. One Of this class met a women
] knew, and when she saw tnat ne Wds N
deep mourning, she expressed hef syllPd-
thy for any trouble he might have mad.
This was his response: ~ es, my dear
mamma is dead; but after all, am not as
unhappy as you would think because l
have the most lovely pajamas IN white SILK
with black silk collars and cuffs, ana l
wear pearl links and pearl buttons with
them" And the lady who had condoled
with him wondered If woman mad
brought this thing into the world, or
whether it had grown up, like some otner
mean little weed, under toadstool.
Then there is the masculine fool. II is
a She Nature created it woman. Folly
is making it initiate a man, with the de-
suit that a hybrid is reached. Ilght77nt
ting skirts. shirt collars and skirts like
ones brother, coats made as near ike
mans as possible sailor hat in summer
and a stiff felt one in winter, may MAKE
an imitation of a man, but II IS pfetly
poor one. Women don't want 1t loose
around the house, it is too much ike a
man; men don't want to trouble them
selves with it, since it is neither man nor
woman. It's hereafter? Well, ii viii
probably be thrown among lot Of ath-
letic sinners, who viii jeer at 1t for being
neither one thing nor the other.
There is the dressy fOOl-hoW do You
clothes; she talks clothes, and she looks
like a fashion plate. One wonder If she
has a heart. If she has, it is probably cut
bias trimmed with frills of lace and deco
rated with the latest style of buttons.
Her waist is eighteen inches her brain Is
like Adams, taken out to put In the head
Of a woman, and nature, abhorring d
vacuum, has filed the dressy FOOLS head
with samples, fashion plates and patterns
for new gowns. Just now, we are hav-
ing, because the fool season IS at hand,
the fool poet. l don't know how the fool
poet gets her-she is generally woman
books published. Probably she pays for
IT, Fools usually pay well for their pleas
ures.
There is one fool who likes what she
calls triolets. They read after this fash
Ion. (By the bye, no fool can steal these,
! wrote them myself and directly after the
1901 PATTERNS
She called me a brute,
Shall l call her a beauty?
'TwOuld seem but a duty
q col laar. - noa