The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-22
FEIGNED DEATH To GET MARRIED
But Her Scheme Was Far-Fetched
and Drove Edward to Grief and
Drink
From the Chicago Chronicle.

Drink.
From the Chicago Chronicle.
Jemima Jenkins, the lovely daughter of
west side commission merchant, had
an idea ten days ago that she was able
to cope with any young man in the way
of eliciting merriment and putting it to
good purpose. She hit upon a plan of
bringing Edward Blixton to time, which
certainly had the charm Of novelty, If
nothing else. Edward was one of those
slow wooers who are working such havoc
on the nerves of impatient maidens
He had been on the verge of a declara-
ton several times, but native bashful-
ness, as well as a manly dread of the
result, kept him in the position of the
poor cat in the adage-'letting dare not
wait upon l would" Something had to
De done to force his courage to the stick
ing point, and Jemima thought II would
be a great scheme and great fun to pre-
tend 10 be dead.
She believed that Edward would be so
overcome with grief at the tidings of her
sudden demise that he would passionately
declare his love in quarters where he
would feel called upon TO act decisively
when the denouement came. So she laid
her plans very carefully, with a view TO
no hitch in the grewsome plot
She called one Of her companions to her
aid, dressed herself out in White, with the
regulation shroud, chalked her cheeks,
lay down in bed and had herself photo
graphed as young and beautiful corpse.
She was so pleased with the picture of
herself that she had a copy of Ii sent to
Edward along with the news of her heath.
Now, Edward, with all his faults, is a
very sensitive young man, and trouble
of any kind makes him feel keenly, so
keenly, indeed, that he invariably tries to
drown 1t in the flowing bowl. The re-
cetpt of his darlings picture showing her
laid out for the grave gave him a terrible
shock.
He though of her in the full flush of
her maidenly beauty; he recalled their
last tender conversation; he permitted
his mind to dwell on the beautiful pros
poets which he had mapped out for him
self when she was his bride, and finally,
after a severe spell of weeping incident
to the mournfulness of his reflections,
he repaired to the nearest saloon to in
vest in his favorite brand of grief killer.
His investment was an unusually large
one, and while wrestling with its potent
effects the notion entered his brain to
go to Jemima's home and sit up with the
corpse.
While in this mood, to think was to act
with him. In the shortest possible period
Of time Edward was at the front door of
Jemima's residence on Washington bou-
levard, ringing the bell and asking him
self in what particular form il would be
advisable for him to show his undying
affection for the beautiful maiden whose
coffined corpse he had come to watch.
He had ample time to cast about for
methods and shows of grief, since the
variably answered the door in her alb
sence, had to visit her bedroom to see that
her bangs were straight before she pre-
scented herself.
Edward was telling himself in a low
tone of voice that the proper thing was
to kneel by the side of the casket and cry
'Loveliest of thy sex, cruel death shall
not divide us; l will see thee inferred and
follow quickly myself" when the door
opened, and
Then and there. as may be imagined,
there was a startling scene. Edward
screamed and Jemima shrieked He
grasped the ratings of the stoop to save
himself from falling and she grasped his
coat to help him preserve his equilibrium
The mutual uproar continued, and neigh
bors rushed out in alarm.
Edward tried in vain to shake the lively
corpse from his coat tails. Jemima shout
ed, Dear Edward, I'm not dead" as soon
as she could stop screaming. But Edward
persisted In regarding her as a candidate
for the graveyard, muttering:
me alone"
1t was a scene never to be forgotten. ana
never will be forgotten, either by Ed
With considerable difficulty the struggling
couple were dragged apart. Jemima fell
back in her mothers arms in a dead faint
and Edward mOpped his throbbing brow
and said, "Phew! Who would think that a
dead body had so much strength?"
Finally ne was gotten inside and the
proper explanations were made. But Ed
ward still acted strangely, He eyed Je-
NINA wildly and kept on muttering: dead
poor thing, dead" The girl could not stand
the strain and she flung herself upon his
neck crying:
No, Edward. I'm not dead yet; I only
died for thee"
This seemed to sober Edward. He held
her at arms length as the truth dawned
upon him. He seemed to be struggling
with varied emotions. At last his FEELINGS
found voice:
You've (hic) died for me (hic). Ell? Then
I'll (hic) be hanged (hic) if you can't he
(hic) buried for (hic) yourself See (1icq1'S
into the hall, seized his hat and was 6ut
in the street before any one could inter
pose to prevent his exit. And Jemima STAYS
at home now, weeping both night and day
and wishing she were dead in reaIityy
which she will be some day unless times
change.