The evening times., 1896-04-30


poor, miserable, unfortunate Johanna, eyed
the dirty-faced man narrowly. The latter,
taking off his goggles, wiped them nervous
Iy. Johanna got full glance at his face
and with wild scream swooped down on
him with smothering embrace.
Look, Mr.. Flynn" she said to Mike,
..if 'taIn't my long, lost 'usband, WINE
Little" and she gave him boa-constrictor
hug.
LET go, do you hear" replied Little,
struggling to get away. Il never LAID
eyes on your face before"
Break away there" said Flynn, sep
arating them, and asking Little if Johanna
was romancing or not.
Little swore that his wife, whom he e1-
pected every moment, could disprove any
of Johannas claims. If she would only
come, Mr. Flynn walled Little, shed
do this Hesslan up in Jiffy," and Little
glared at Johanna's old battered face,
colored a Pompeian red from excessive
drink.
THE WIFE TO THE RESCUE.
An she is here!'' exclaimed a fat
woman, dressed in rusty black, standing in
the doorway leading TO the cells, with
skirts.
who is this hussy, William Little?"
she demanded, pointing at Johanna wrap
ping a red shawl around her black ana
white shirt waist.
How do l know, my dear?' whined
william. ..Mr. Flynn knows I never met
her before."~
"She says she was your wife. l heard
her. How about that?'' and Mrs. Williams
fat face puckered amusingly.
Flynn told her to .'go aisy on her poor
man, as Johanna is stringing him.
I'm string her." replied Mrs. Little,
giving her boy a knock on the head in
desire to get even with some one. III
string her TO the end of u rope; the braZen
thing"
Johanna settled her hands on her hips
and told Mrs. Little that she, Johanna
Quill, weighed 10 pounds aud could lick
her weight in bull dogs.
I'm lady, am answered the other
scrubbing the tears off the boys face with
q bandanna handkerchief, and telling him
she'd cut him into s75 different pieces If
he didn't quit snuffling, which threat
caused that young gentleman to bawl
Justify LAS for you, mum, you're not in
my class"
Flynn put Mrs. Little in the court room,
and shut Johannas mouth by giving her
an extra sandwich.
Kendig, much to his disgust, missed the
| little conjugal infelicity that would have
delighted Moliere.
| The bailiff had been spending his time
| before court opened In trying to dispose oi
| two pug puppies. he tried to sell one OF
| them to Costigan.
mot on your loife, replied Cos, regard
| ing distrustfully the black muZzle and curl
ing tail of the dog. "Whin ] buy a dawg
sur it'll be no poog, but an annimile vic
some beauty
THE TEST OF BEAUTY.
Kendig tried to argue that the very
| beauty of some things lay in their extreme
| ugliness.
Thin We have lot Of putty byes
| round here" said Costigan. Il min
| shun no names, but there's a lot of poogs
| in this court room now. Git on to that
laddie comm in at the head OF the line. -
THAT is Patrick Crowley" said Hogg;
| "once called Doubtful Pat, but now known
as No Longer Paddy
And why no Ionger?' " asked Kendig,
| putting the dogs in his pocket and prepar-
| ing to open court on the appearance of his
| honor.
Because his reputation is no longer
doubtful
His honor appeared. Kendig raped to
order and Clerk Washburn, in a beautiful
| barytone, called for the presence of Will
liam Little.
LaI lNr, 7 .
| tell" said Mrs. Little sailing down to the
witness stand like a tramp steamer under
heavy cargo.
rWhat was William doing?' asked his
honor. lost in conjecture how SO small a
man could marry such a ponderous fe-
male.
Policeman Hanover said William, after
testing the strength of several tree boxes
and performing awhirley-gig gavotte around
an electric light pole. sought strength and
| repose ON mother earth.
"He was lying across the pavement
stiff drunk remarked Narrower.
Drunk, your honor, yes,' admitted
Little, ..but not stiff. / was overcome by
a few drinks before knew It,"
"what do you call few?''
Eight rnine.''
May the good Lord deliver us!' ejacu-
| lated Mrs. Little, rolling her eyes at the
| ceiling. land me at home waitin' for him."
"Be quiet, madam commanded KeAdig.
Little said he was an old pensioner and
spent the best part of the time at the
Hampton home.
rs this your wife?'' asked Mr.. Pugh.
"Ycs, indeed, l am broke in the ire
pressible better and bigger half of the
defendant. His wife for years and
years, with n certifikat, a family Bible
an wcddin' ring to prove it,
The melancholy William sighed as IL
the ceremony had been performed GEN.
| turtles ago, instead of years.
Mrs. Little exhibited her little son to
the Judge, and asked that the father and
| husband be released.
Judge Kimball warned the prisoner
| to let whisky alone, and took his personal
| bonds.
"Now, como along, SIR" snapped his
| wife, hauling him out into the hall. "Hcre
| he is. Mr.. Flynn, she pouted, thanks to me,
/ but n he ever gifts in again he stay there
| for the rest of his natural life.''
Mike insinuated that there were some
| worse places in the world than prisons.
| Attnis Littitliouucu MS sDeauenetSeticaiiy'
| and taking Flynn aside thrust out grimy
hand. "Sbake on that, Mr.. Flynn" he
| cried, sits n little dirty. but honest and
| true, an I'm spit on it for luck" an act
which william performed with great
dcliberation.
MIKES PREFERENCE.
Mike said he preferred the other hand,
the left one becouse it was nearest the
heart. He wrung it until tears stood in Lit