Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1896-02-13
THE CYCLOPEEDY.

THE CHClOPEEDY.
Havin lived next door to the Ilo-
bart place for goin on 30yesrs, l Gale
late that l know Jest about ez much
about the case ez anybody else now on
airth, exceptin, perhaps, it's ole Jed8e
Baker, n he's 50 plaguy ole n 50 pow
erful feeble that he don't know nothin.
1t seems that in the spring nv lS47
the year that Cy Watsons Oldest
boy wuz drowned in West river-there
come along book agent sellen vol
yumes n tracks fer the diffusion uv
knowledge, n havin got the recon-
mend NV the minister n NV the select
men he done an all fired big business
in our part NV the country. His name
wuz Lemuel Higgins, n he wuz ez
likely a talker ez ever heerd, barrin
Lawyer Conkey, n everybody allowed
that when Conkey wuzrouud he talked
so fast that the town pump'd have to
be creased every 20 minutes.
One NV the first NV our folks that
this Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Le-
ander Hobart. Leander had Jest mar
I'd one NV the Peasley girls n had
moved into the ole homestead, on the
Plainville road, ole Deacon Hobart
havin give up the place to him, the
other boys havin moved out west, like
a lot NV darned fools that they wuz
Leander wuz feelin his oats jest about
this time, n nuthin wuz too good fer
him.
Hattie, sez he, 81 guess I'll have
to Law in few books fer readin in the
winter time, n I've notion to sub
scribe fer cyclopeedy. Mr.. Higgins
here says they're invalerabIe in a fam
lily, n that we orter have 'em, bein as
how we're likely to have the tamly
bimeby."
"Lor sakes, Leander, howyou talk.
sez Hattie, blushn all over, ez brides
allus does to heern tell nv sich things.
WAL, to make long story short,
Leander bargained with Mr.. Higgins
fer set NV them cyclopeedies, n he
signed his name to a long printed pa
per that showed how he agreed to take
cyclopeedy oncet in so often, which
wuz to be ez often ez new one Nv the
volyumes wuz printed. \ cyclopeedy
isn't printed all at oncet, because that
would make it cost too much, conse-
kently the man that gets it up has it
strung along fur apart, so as to int
folks oncet every year or two, n GIN
rally about harvest time. So Leander
kind nv liked the idee, n he signed
the printed paper n made his ahida-
Wit to it afore Jedge Warner.
The fust yolyume NV the cyclopeedy
stood on a shelf in the ole seckertary
in the settin room about four months
before they had any use fer it. One
night Squire Turner'S son come over
to visit Leander n Hattie, Il they got
to talkin about apples n the sort nv
apples that wuz the best Leander
allowed that the Rhode Island Green
in wuz the best, but Hattie n the Tur-
ner boy stuck up fer the Roxbury Rus
set, until at last happy idee struck
Leander, n, sez he well leave ii
to the cyclopeedy, b'gosh Which
ever one the cyclopeedy sez Is the best
will settle it. "
But you can't find out nuthin bout
Roxbury Russets nor Rhode Island
Greenin' in our cycIopeedy, " sez Hat.
tie.
"why not, Id Ike to know" SCI
Leander, kind nv indignant like.
cause ours hain't got down to the
R yet" sez Hattie. "All ours tellt
about is things beginnin with \"
"Well, ain We talkin aboutapples?'
sez Leanden you aggervate me ter
rible, Hattie, by insistin on KNOWN
what you don't know nuthin bout.
Leander went to the seckertary
took down the cyclopeedy n hunted
all through it fer apples, but all h
could find wuz, "Apple-see pomOlo
gy."
"How in thunder kin see pomolo
gy," sez Leander, when there ain