New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-01-12

Mr. Joncs's laughter exceeded the demands Of
the story; with the greatest difficulty he restrained
himself from explaining that his amusement was
due In part TO his wife's naveie She had forgot
ten that the week before. In her ondeavors 10
make the months allowance include all the Christ
mas presents. she hailed with Joy Advertisement.
which Offered dishpans five cents cheaper than they
were be found in the uptown stores. After spend
ing half day and 10 cents carfare she returned
home with a sick headache and dshpan which
leaked after it had been used twice.
Not little Of Mr. Joncs's self-control also
due TO the fact that he knew that If he were
traitor his wife would not hesitate 10 turn the
tables upon him and recount the way in which he
had ruined his disposition ana peace in the house
hold by buying a cheap razor and shaving himself,
when for forty years he had Jet else do
il for him
Il think though" said the host. that for down
right meanncss the newspaper economist leads the
procession. Any deserves his future fate who
thrisis aside the little ragged supplcants bcSetting
his path and refuses to buy paper. II isn't be-
cause he is Indifferent the daily happenings. for
while the rest OF the rusilcs its way through
stocks sports and politics. he jams his elbow into
YOU and cranes his neck your shoulder in his
enleavOrs what your paper has to say about
the last robbery find out what your politics
are He does3t hesitate 10 show his disgust II you
turn the sheet before he Is ready. and when You
have stood it long enough and hand him the paper
with what You consider the acme OF freezing dig
nifty his serenity isn't at all disturbed"
Going down on the elevated this morning"
sad the young AT Mrs. Joaess right. "a
man spraw,ed all over me and knocked the varnish
off my patent feathers. trying to extract something
from under the next seat. | expected 10 have nm
turn up with at least 80 gold piece. and intendes
TO make him buy me new pair 9f boots with
half the haul He was only after penny extra
which some one had thrown away
lit does though every fat man in town
waited 10 get the off the bulletin boards
n.prd nttc Miss Smith. Il had such time this
afternoon getting from the Postoice to the
bridge finally got wedged in between two men
,,ho were settling that Venezuela question and
should have been there still 4 a policeman hadn't
,nd the crowd move on"
"Therc's another frugal mind that always IN
forests me" observed Mr.. Smith. helping himself
IN The sailed almonds IT'S the man who stirs
nm the symmetrcally arranged magazines, turns
r,er the newspapers the newsstands and In
en,e Of The angry glances and picturesque language
~ tho newsboy gathers the latest news OF stocks
and bonds laughs over the newest jokes. and walks
ar Win the last sporting events without It's costing
him "A cent 49,. ~, Tho u,,raou eoma nlght
r,han The boz IS going through the streets WIN
an extra" said Mr.. Brown. and youil ma AZ AT
a. nas, six other men on the block going through me
n,a nhvsica discomfort and mental strain tryng
sam r. from the dscordant sounds whether 90
is have been lost by a poileI, eAPios'on' VI
Eneiand and Germany have declared war;