The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-09-12


When 1t begins to get real summer
hot, can't we manage to have the wealth.
er man arrested for scorching PIN.
adelphia North American.
Briggs-Does your wife laugh when
you tell her funny story? Braggs-
oh. yes. always tell her beforehand
that 1t is funny Indianapolis Journal
She-Do you know ANYTHING worss
than a man taking kiss without asking
for it? Hell do. what. for in.
stance" Asking for 1t without taking
IT,"
Mrs. Winks-I don't see how Won
could afford to pay 500 for wheel
Mr.. Winks-I couldn't That's why I
have got to pay sos for lt.-Someryills
Journal.
Tommy-Paw, what Is designing
villain? Mr.. Figg-Oh, the description
would apply to one of these poster ar
lists about as well as anything.-In.
dianapols Journal.
Sweet is the summer breeze that goes
10 blduutn lOlnng man
Especially the one that flows
From an electric fan.
Washington Star.
Shell would not marry you II
were to live to be hundred years old.
He-Well, l should say you wouldn't.
If had anything to say in the matter.
indianapolis Journal.
Look here, Bawl Barlngs, I've a
proposition to make" what is il.
Noopops?" you stop talking about
your bicycle and I'll not say another
word about my smart baby"-Truth.
Justlce-You are charged with steal
ing Colonel Julep's chickens. Have
you any witnesses? Uncle Moses-I
heb not. l don't steal chickens befo'
witnesses.-Amusing Journal.
Young Husband-Are you in favor OF
free silver or the gold standard, my
love? Young wife-Oh, | don't care.
my dear, so long as you have plenty Of
it.-Philadelphia North American.
"Say, Dobbs, all your family are
away; what do you keep your alarm
clock going for?" Il want to wake up
every hour and realize that don't have
TO walk the baby."-Chicago Record.
I'VE cannot find n place to go this
summer" whats the troublef" I'VE
want n summer resort from which we
won't have to write home that we sleep
under blankets. Chicago Record.
Mamma, were those stories Uncle
George was telling MS about the big
fishes he caught fairy stories" Il don't
know, my child; | wasn't listening, but
| imagine they were.'-Brooklyn Life.
Edith and Mabel had just put their
dollles In their little crib. Said Edith
with a sigh of relief, ''There, I'm thank
full we've got the children to bed. We
shall have a little peace now.'-Boston
Transcript.
Wheeler-I see by the papers that a
Chicago bicycler was held up by two
men. Sprocket feeling If the court
plaster was in place on his face-l WISH
to gracious it had been mel-Nonkers
Statesman.
Rugby-Our landlady Is one of the
most expert calculators In town. VII
kins-Is she? Rugby-Yep. We had
beans for dinner to-day, and she asked
me how many would have.-Cleveland
Plaindealer.
George-How do you like 1t, Cora
Cora-It's perfectly lovely. But what
do they have all these policemen at the
game for? oh, | know; 1t Is to keep
the men from stealing bases'-somer-
vile Journal.
..It il the intention to collect ABOUT
s11.O for Pittsburg's Fourth OF July
celebration this year remarked 'ne
Horse Editor "Ah," replied the snake
Editor. Money 10 burn ''so"' .
Chronicle Telegraph.
How is Jenny See getting along WIN
her hicvcle lessonsT "Oh, nicely re-
Piled the young enthusiast sne n .,'
only taken six now and 90 you AnO",
Z, | never saw any one fall OIL "nes'
so gracefullyw-Buffalo Times
Juson-Is Jubbs sick or trayehns
? Jabson-Nelther. What makes sou
q think so? Jilson-I've been looh'ns ',o'
5 of the window the last ten nlln "ess
+ and I haven't seen him playing noSe
! ON hIs Iawn-Roxbury Gazette
e Clear cose-"Do you ride Wheel,
asked the eldest Of the doctors on 'ne
T. INSANITY Commission. Yep answer ~
e cd tho snbiect "What maker l
+ never Noticed The verdict was unanl'
mous-dementla. -Cincinnau Enqo'
Reginald-Time brings about GUS sSDG =
odd changes, doesn't it' haro .a,,er
should say 1t did. Look at tne , ,,,arsd
OF costumes why, when we PLAYED
tennis. we turned our trousers W ~ =,
|, the bottom. and now that we pay Chs ths
we turn our stockings down rroin '"'
top.-Woonsocket Reporter
IF this Misther Hanna gets 70 ~
t, the great man he promises now, . s",u
e Mr.. Dolan. "therell be twice ,ne nu1 :.
% Der av babies named aftner nh, a" so n
named afther most celebrities, NJ W
see no ayson fur it" replied Mrs 10,
Ian. TITS plain as day tnou ,1.,u.t ~
1t naturally qualified fur the a 1,s pabIe.
lie They kin name all the by oaO,e,
Mark an all the girl paD.es star
an there y'are."-Wasn'ns