Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1896-09-10

Made the coal-pile fly
Chicago Record.
who was best man at the weddin,~
''The brides father, if cheerfulno,,
counts for anything."-Puck.
Jaglets-Who invented work Rm
Raglets-l don't know, but he ought to
have stayed and finished it.-Trutb
Doctor, my wife has insomnia-ls,
awake NEST of the night. What Shall
do for her?' Get home earlier"-Lifa
Does your husband spend mucb
at the races?' "No George doesn't
draw very large salary Town Ton
les.
He-Let's kiss and make up. She
If you kissed me, I'd have to make IN
all over again, sure enough.-New York
Press.
Mrs. Sequel understand your bus
band can't meet his creditors. Mrs
Equal don't believe he wants to, es.
pecially.-Truth.
Customer would like to have nice
gown to wear around the house. Sales
man-Size of the house, please?-PhR
adelphia Record.
Dyer-COlonel Kaintuck hasn't laugh.
ed in years. Duer-Why? Dyer-SOme
one told him his laugh sounded like
ripping water.-TOwn Topics.
"Gainsby is a fellow who under
stands economy" That's what-he
has just had a composite portrait made
of his three other wives. Puck.
Block-Riches do not bring happt
ness, my son. Chlpp-Neither does
poverty. And riches do not prevent
happiness, and poverty does.-Truth.
She-The Billingtons have an eight
pound boy, and | suppose we ought to
send gift of some sort. He-Why not
send Ellington pedometer?-PuCk.
Nodd-Pve got to raise one hundred
dollars this week. Todd-Is 1t case
of necessity? Nodd-I should say so
My wife will come back If don't
Truth.
Miss Gotham-It must be awful to be
buried alive! Miss Penn (thoughtfullyl
We'll, don't know. have spent all
my life in Philadelphia.-Somervills
Journal.
"Claribel' is respectfully Informed
that milk does not come from milk'
weed, and that pies are not plucke1
ready grown from the pie plant.-BOs
ton Transcript
Gertie-Where do you get shaved
Freddie? Freddie-On the face-ha! ha
Gertie-Pardon me, Freddie; | mean
where do you get shaved on the FACET
Roxbury Gazette.
Richard-What makes you so sure
that she will marry you? Harry-WelI
you see, her mother and | have enser
dered a mortal hatred of each other
Boston Transcript.
"Well, old man, I've spent every cen'
of money have in the world on ID!
doctor" Does he know it!' 81 guess
he does. He has pronounced me wen
man."-Buffalo Courier.
Mrs. Kidd-There. now, thank good
ness! I've sung the baby to sleep MI,
Kidd-Poor little chap! When he is !"
he won't dare to go to sleep over
woman's slnging.-Truth.
She-For my part would never for
give young man who would KISS
girl against her will. He-Nor |; ou'
do you suppose young man really ever
did?-Somerville Journal.
Pip-A lawyers highest aim shoulo
be to keep his clients out of law. Bhp,
True; but the trouble is so many Oh
them are content to take humpei
view of the matter.-Truth.
The butcher offered me his hand thI'
morning" said the hired girl. "ln
deed" "Yes'm. He tried to sell II "
me with the steak, but l made hln
take it off the scales."-Cincinnati bn
Quirer.
What made you return from bns
land so soonT" "The Prince of Waie'
manifested a disposition to becom'
chummy with me-" replied the weaitn'
but eminently sensible American
Puck.
what are your politics, my man
asked the portly visitor of the prlsone'
behind the bars at the penitentlai!
"Well,' replied the latter, hesitatinsvr
Il haven't come out for anybody yet
Buffalo Times.
Mrs. Hendricks (proudly walking ou
of the sewing room)-Well, Perry No"
do you like my bloomers? Mr.. heu
dricks-oh, they do very well; but ae" ,
me, how much older than usual tae'
make you look" On the following ual