The state herald., 1896-06-12


NH29 always believed to
k1A3I be my father. Dur
CMSrMo Ing the time while
held myself aloof
from him l passed
through many stages Of sorrow, but
believe my anger was greater than my
grief. l was but nineteen years OF age,
but I fancy that my thoughts and ideas
were In advance of my years. The
curious. almost solitary. life which
had led for So many years ut Herstal
Abbey no doubt conduced to make me
older than really was. Till the time
came for me to 20 to Oxford. saw little
of any one save my supposed father,
my tutor. and the servants Of the house.
But latterly all had changed for the
better. had been two terms at the
university. had made many friends.
Life was Just opening to me; new.
fresh life. full Of pleasure and excite
ment I found myself fairly popular
with my fellows. I was well supplied
with money. was looked upon as an
only son. and heir to fine property. In
short my lot seemed to be one in ten
thousand.
And that moment Mr.. Lorraine had
chosen to reveal to me the secret OF my
lOwly birth. To dash me from the
pedestal upon which he had placed me.
To show me that had no claim upon
him--that instead Of being young Mr..
Lorraine Of Herstal Abbey, was no one!
remember how, shortly before he
told me the tale Of the shipwreck,
had been dlscoursing In somewhat
arrogant. self-satisfed and glib man
ner as to the duties incumbent on old
families and landed gentry; asserting
that the existence Of the aristocracy
was an unmitigated blessing to the
land. In fact. l was giving my sup
posed father a hash-up Of q speech
which I had heard at the Union.
thought my sentiments gave him salts
faction. He smiled and looked amused.
No doubt he was amused, SO amused
that the demon Of sarcasm rose within
him, and hurried on the revelation
which he may or may not have intended
should be made. The temptation to
prick the bladder inflated by my youth
full arrogance must have been ire
sistible to Mr.. Lorraine. From a child
had noted this cruel trait In his char
acter. had noticed 1t with servants.
such acQuaintances as he had, and with
myself. The way Of listening. OF even
leading one on to talk, and then sud-
denly. by biting piece of sarcasm.
crushing the unlucky speaker. 1t was
from this and kindred actions that.
even while thought him my father, l
did not love the man.
Nor did he love me. Had he loved me
ever SO little, he would have kept the
secret. and spared me my present hu-
initiation. So. In spite Of all he had
done for me, my anger rose and burned
against Julian Lorraine.
! may have been wrong: but. as will
be soon discovered. was full OF faults.
Perhaps the very association. more or
less. during twelve years with a man
OF Mr.. Loraine's stamp must develop
faults
There! Let me write no more to his
detriment. He worked me evil. and
he worked me good. He IL dead. As
raise my eyes from my paper and
glance through my window. can al
most see his grave.
In the afternoon went In search OF
him: found him reading in the
library. He nodded as entered, then
returned to his book and finished the
paragraph.
well. Julian?" he said, as a signal
that he was at my service.
Il have been thinking over what you
told me last night. Mr.. Lorraine"
He raised his dark eyebrows rs he
heard me address him this wise. Till
now had generally used the old
fashioned sir" sometimes. not often,
father"
Il hate changes, Julian" he said.
As you know. the old landed gentry
are rooted to old customs"
Even at that moment he could not
forego his sarcasm. My cheek flushed.
See how you have changed life for
mer' l said hotiy.
'Ah! yes: greatly. no doubt. ]
wonder what you would have been
now,"
Tell me what am now
80 far as I know. a young man OF 10.
thoroughly well educated. cookbook
Ing. full Of church and state principles.
Why. the rector stopped me yesterday.
and assured me you were one OF the
finest young fellows no ever knew:
quite credit TO the county"
This banter seemed 10 stab me.
Tell me. SIR said. ought I TO thank
you for what you have done for me7"
Personally. I hate expressions OF
gratitude; but II II gives you any salts
faction. thank me by all means"
mo. ! do not thank you. Had you
placed me In some humble position
suited to my birth. and let me make
my way In the world. could have
thanked you. But for years to let mo
be cslled your son: why did you do II.
fsirr
n II had sons reason at the time.
almost forget H."
z "Mr. Lorraine. I have thought II all
;-pver-"
=! 30 you told me. Julian. Go on"
- you may laugh at me. but con-
1dcr that have n great claim upon
)ou."
He simply raised his eyebrows. but
<j d not deny my assertion.
"You have kept me In Ignorance for
Dars." I continued, speaking quickly.
ou have brought mo up, and let mo
'.1m out In the world under false colora.
p bw just m enter upon manhood you
"A me- who am. or rather who ! am
80 Why you did this. you alone