davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

who don't hare to do sentry-go and play ball all the time if they feel like it.. Some of the 12 victories were over anna teur teams, too. One of the games of which the teams is proudest, although defeat, is that played with the Ford ham college crack nine, when the coIle- gians won by a score of only eight to seven.
 The Fort Schuyler team is uniformed and has an umpire, John Welsh, ten year veteran who's brave enough for even an umpire's trying duties. It has a mascot, too, in the person of Ordnance Sergt Laf1ler's son, a youngster whose soulful roofing has won many a hard fought field The Fort Schuyler boys have been beaten, but only on those oe- casions which, owing to circumstances over which we had no control, Master Tracy Lafller failed to grace with his presence.
 The captain and catcher of the team is J. AlcAIahon, who is of course called Mae Mae joined the army four years ago and took memorable trip to Chi eago when President Cleveland and Gov. Altgeld had their historic differences of opinion regarding the proper course of treatment of the Pullman strike. He is a young man yet, and halls from Meri- den, Conn.,, where he learned to play ball with the famous Resolutes. of the Plated city He is perfect behind the bat, a sure thrower and heavy sticller, and he is popular with the players be- cause of his mild and equable temper.
 The pitcher, William Mellin, made his mark with the Orioles, of Baltimore, six years ago, before a patriotic impulse impelled him to serve with the colors we all love better than even the league pennant. Mellin saw service in the "ghost dance" campaign in the Sioux country and can throw a ball as straight and swift as a Sioux arrow, u ough he usually prefers to throw them crooked and swift. He is 26 years old.
 Joe Kirk. who stamps around first base. is q Boston lad. 27 years old but only yearling in the army.
 Thomas Thomas, the second baseman, has been ten months in the nine and the service, but he has played ball ever since he was knee high to gun. He was born in Scranton, Pa, % years ago and played in professional teams, including the Rivals, of Scranton, and the Reso- lutes, of Meriden.
 A third eX-Aleriden boy is William Welsh, short stop who'd do credit to a professional nine. He served only at Fort Schulyer; before his enlistment he played with the Resolutes.
 Meriden boy No. is William Bower. Bower has good eye. He cannot only inpel the twistedest curved ball with a dynamic swat of the hickory, but he is one of the crack rifemen of the post
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19
An Atmospheric Phenomenon.

An atmospheric phenomenon. re- minding one somewhat of the story of Gideon's fleece, is vouched for by the newspapers of Montreal. Can. It is often dry under trees when the rest of the ground is wet, but the Canadian scribes aver that on a recent morning the ground was dry everywhere ex- cept under the trees. Rain seemed to fall through the branches of the latter. An explanation is given to the effect that during the previous night cold wind had chilled the trees, that after ward hot wave oflnoist air had passed over them without touching the ground and had deposited it's heavy moisture upon them and the morning sun had caused the drops to fall from the branches. Where 2 tree was sheltered by houses hardly | drop of rain was found beneath it.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19
IN EARLY DAYS.
Pioneer Difficulties in Fitting a House
 with Windows.

Pioneer Difficulties in Fitting House
 with Windows.
 In the early days of America window glass, being expensive, was often car ricd a long distance with great care. The story is told of a settler who built q log house, and, after moving his fam fly in, went to Gorhamtown to purchase 12 lights of 7x9 glass for the two small windows. This was well tied in large handkerchief, and he started on his re- turn.
 He selected even places for his feet at every step, and avoided all possible obstacles; thus he moved slowly home ward. All went well until he reached his own dooryard. As he approached the house he saw his wife standing in the doorway, and shouted:
 Well, Sally, I've got my glass home!"
 Alas! his attention had been divert ed; he caught his foot in a small bush by the path and fell headlong. Quick as thought ne raised his hand high to shield the glass, but it came down with full swing upon a fiat stone and was broken into fragments. Then and there he registered a VOW that he would never look through glass in that house, and he kept his word.
 "If I'd fell halfway to Gorhamtown," he said, "I wouldn't ha' keered; but it seemed too everlasting bad to go down and smash it right off agin my own door! Youths Companion
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19
D oF LONG ISLAND.
..o,. oThe Fighting Mayor, ''
 D0a rss,,es a Challenge.
,or Governor of New York
 Rap How to Run City and to ats some Highly Orig inaI Ideas.
f,opvR1eHT, 1896. l

me how to run a city? I
 p as the question frankly. The
 s af tbe Declaration of Indepen- |ir .sid O that government was gov
 'sa sa hest which was governed the
 'iIs cordially 1ndorse his senti- \. The proposition will apply with is' ,orce to state, county or city.
 a.ss % foo many scff-constituted rul-
 p' p,radays attempting to run our
 pg The men elected by the people s |s...t their affairs should do it, and M lot of shrieking, hysterical fanat- ''so are responsible to nobody but oelyes. l.ace ' tc free ourselves of the Park ,.s Gerrys and Godkins, who have " ',.sd themselves upon the neck of N, sodv polite. Parkhurst might do . yp pnritanical New England village, ,. in Russia and Godkin in his na- { lssath. the County Wicklow, Ire- i. but they are all out of place here. 7 are all miscarriages in American , m mayor of an American city, elect ' American citizens, native or nat
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19
Travel with A Friend

Who will protect you from those enemies nausea, indigestion, malaria and the sick- ness produced by rocking on the waves, and sometimes by inland travelling oy sr the rough beds Of the ill laid railroads. Such q friend is Hostetter's Stomach Btters, Ocean mariners, yachtsmen, commercial and theatrical agents and tourists testify to the protective potency of this effective safeguard, which conquers also rheumar tsm, nervousness and biliousness.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

For that matter, it's no new thing for baseball men to become soldiers. It's a matter of grave historical record that when the civil war broke out big pro- portion of the baseball clubs in the north became the rallying point for recruits and suddenly swelled into military com panies bound for the front.
 OWEN LANGDON.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19
Tn o,des r,,r,..

People overlooked the importance of per- manently beneficial effects and were satis- fled with transient action. but now that if b generally known that Syrup of Figs will permanently overcome habitual constipa- tion, well-informed people will not buy other laxatives, which act for time, but finally injure the system.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

Mas. NuwEp (to clerk )-.'Have you any wax for polished floors P Cl rk-s'No: wa only have sealing wax" Mrs Nuwed- Well, that will dc. If it's for tie ceiling suppose il wilt do for the floor just as welf2S -Washington Times
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

To COMPLETE the Collation. fsenti- mentally1-"l wonlG I were a biri J He (stnpidly)-"And what would I be2n She lsarcasticallyl -"Oh, you might be a small bottle. "-Chicago Record.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

REPARTEE.-Servant (from the doorl- would you please shoot your dog. as it won't let him go to seepn Negabor- "Give my respect to Herr Mayer and tell him shall be much obliged if he will poison his daughter and burn her piano. Lyndon Union.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

MAY have word with vou sir2" said Boreley to Cynieus. s'Well, that all depends on the word, said Cynicus. If it's good by, I'll join in with you with pleasure. "-- Harper's Bazaar.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

IF thou desire to raise thy fortunes by the casts of fortune, be wise betimrs, lest thou repent too late. What thou wiRnest is prod iigally spent What thou losest is prodigaIly lost-Quarles.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

Frs stopped free and permanently cured. No fits after first day's use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Res orer. Free g trial bottle X treatise. DR. KLINE, 933 Arch st. Phila Pa.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

sWHERE does the weather forecast man go for his sacationn "He doesn't go any, where; he doesn't dare to come down out of that tower. ."-Chicago Tribune.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

t'I-ET me take the blamed thing home, !" said the patient, as the dentist relieved him of his aching molar; ''I want to take it home and poke sugar in it to see it ache l''-- Truth.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

P1sos Cure for Consumption has no equal as Cough medicine.-F. M. Abbott, 3SS
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

TEMPERAMENT is but the atmosphere of character, while it's groundwork in nature is fixed and unchangeable.-A. Helps.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

WIFE-'Eow are you pleased with our new maid}' Husband = '.Very much r Wife-.I thought so; l have discharged her -Fliegende Blaetter
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

RED, angry eruptions yield to the action of Glenn s Sulphur Soap.
 Hill s Hair and Whisker Dye, 50 cents,
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19
PATRICK J. GLEASON
Promotion in Bank of England.

The patronage of the Bank of Eng laud belongs entirely to the directors, clerk being appointed by each di- rector in rotation until the vacancies are filled, with the exception of one clerkship in every seven, which is given to a son of one of the clerks of the es- tabIishment who has discharged his duties to the satisfaction of the di- reetors.
 Archimeaes is considered to be the founder of the science of physics
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

THE human soul is like bird that is born in the cage. Nothing can deprive it of it's natural long ngs or oblitsrate the mysteri- ous remembrance of its heritage -Epes Sargent.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

THE truly honest man does that from duty which the man of honor does for the sake of character. Shenstone
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

"BRowN is good shot, isn't he7'' ''very good. We were praetieing with eur guns at nay country-place the other day, and he hit the bulls eve the first tines Very clever" .aYes; but he had to pay for the bull n- Harpers w eexly.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

BLoDDs-"Hereis a rather clever little book-'Don 'ts'for Club Men" Slobbs-.'It isn't the 'don'ts' that worry me; it's the dues. s."-Philadelphia Record.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

Coop qualities are the substantial riches of the mind; but it is good breeding that sets them off to advantage. Locke.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

ssLEr's see,t said the teacher tsY our name is Peter Marm duke Jones3n stYes- sum, said Peter. But that ant my fault
 Poppy and mommie did it.7-Harper's
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

EASILY Rectifled. Marie. I thoupht vou. physician told you that you were not str0ne enough to ride a wheel2i 'sYes, but then 1 went to another doctor. .n-Chicago Recor6.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

Nor in Government Eraploy.-"Are YOU an office-holderf" said one man to another. No; l work for living. Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

IT is Heaven itself that points out a hereafter, and intilnates eternity to man. Addison.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-07-19

Halls Catarrh Cure Is q Constitutional Cure. Price 75c.
Der Deutsche beobachter. [volume] (New Philadelphia, Ohio) 1869-1911, 1896-04-22
Cine Worabnutte.

Sm Sabre 1888, als Raiier So{epb
II. ii9 auf 8e1u9 in paris befanb.
gins ct einesMbenbs nit 1einer S9tpes
iter. Der aDntein Marie Mntoinette,
aus benz f0ntsli9en Sbeater, als bers
felben auf Der Sreppe ben Sd9er ent=
fiel, tpelhen fosleib Elm 9err in aterz
lider aleibuns aufbob unb Der 8Dnis
gin iiberreihte.
r8ei tpem babe ih mid gu bebans
fen" fraste bic 80nisin.
sd bin Mbbotat in Der getreuen
Stabt paris," lautete bic Mnttport.
LIMB pie 1T Sbr Name2"
nMarimtlian Mobespierre!"
sd banfe Sbnen, mein 9err!A
ipra9 bic 40nisin, unb i'm Weiterses
ben gu ibrem Bruber: .Oieier Mann
flObt mir Gurdt ein!"
Sofepb la9te unb ertDiberte: rSeti
mann fiirdten iib Weiber por Rlets
bern (Robes) unb eblen Steinen
(Pierres)9"
Die .&leiber unb @teine" abe,
braaten bic RDnisin auf bas Sdaf.
fDt.
Der Deutsche beobachter. [volume] (New Philadelphia, Ohio) 1869-1911, 1896-04-22

Die Gpibenmontille iiber bic ipeiben
6hulter unb ben Sdder fdDingenb
segen bic 9ibe, iab bas f9Dne Wfdbden
nit brennenben Mueen in bic Mrend
btndb.
sssett, aIs Der @5tier balbbltnb por
Mutb unb Die blutiiberit ritrDmten 6lanz
fen nit benz Shpeif peitfhenb in eiz
ner @de raite, erf9ien 5rant Ri9arb@
fpn. Sein grfdeinen mar has Signal
fir einen 8eifalsiturm tpte ibn felbit
bic Mrena bon Matampras mod ni6t
erlebt. Cine blutrotbe Roie ftel gu ieis
men 6iiben nieher. @r bob 5ie mtt@rdz
Bic auf unb berbeuete iih, init benz gdne
gen 9nitanb zines Mlteaitiliers gegen
Die Dame. Onea, bic ibm bies Symbol
Der 2iebe eetporfen.
llnb bann gine's 10 f4neu, baB
man nit feinen Nueen taum folgen
fonnte. Ser Stier fam angerannt nit
seienftem 9aupt = Sranf iprang i'm
ridtigen Moment bebenb CUR Seite.
Mieber folgte cine Mttade, unb bd tpdre
Der iunge Mmerifdner beinabe auf Der
Spite ieiner Corner iteden geblieben.
9lber bas Slid, bas ben, Mutbisen
ftets tpobl min, mar tbm audi btesmal
hplb, unb i'm Mufiteben, nod balb
fnieenb empfing er feinen tpiithenben
Geaner auf Der Spite ieines Shperz
tes. gs mar natiirli6 3ufau, mas
fonit, aber Der 9egen bobrte fth Biz
ans 9eft benz i9Gumenben Sbier
Spt1hen S6ulter unb 9als Elm, unb
NIT eirem bumpfen R0deln fant bas
llnaebeuer in bic &niee. Ginise3udunz
gen, unb es mar perenbet.
Sin Soien, Elm Seulen, Elm 8Gatz
fAen, als ob Der sanae leibts 8ou einz
fallen follte, beeriibte bic tapfereSbat
bes Sremblinss. Gr mar Sieser gez
blieben in einem Stiergefedt, er, Der
Neuline, Der Mmertfaner, unb iein
Rubm mar nun felfenfeit unb fir alle
3eit beeriinbet in Merico.
5ranf @idarbipn 1T iebt niht mebr
10 jung pie bamals, unb Donna Dnes
1T ni9t mebr sanS 70 idlant. Qber
ibre &inber finb berebte 3eugen bafiir,
baB cine mericaniib dmeritaniI9e
8erbinbune niht unter alien llm=
ftdnben f9ledt ausfdnt.
Der Deutsche beobachter. [volume] (New Philadelphia, Ohio) 1869-1911, 1896-04-22
Jrnbllnosiitorse,,.
Wpn Selene b. gnseIbarbt.

RiBt bas Qiht ben iungen Moreen,
EGllt Der Sban auf 8liitb' unb 8latt,
Dei, ipie ipanbert iih's bo lufti9
Dumb bic CRIME Malbesftatt!
HDnt 10 ben Der Auelle Rau19eu,
Gaht bas 8riin 10 oauberiih,
ppht ba6 6er3 in trunfner Wonne,
Rlinst bas 2iebel jung unb friib!
&iibt bas 2iht ben iitngen Mpreen,
SdlIt Der Sbau auf 8liitb' unb 8latt,
9raun, pa mag ids nimmer glauben,
@aB bos Ssben Sdmeraen bat.
Qant mir 10 bic tpeite Grbe
sSn pes 2enses 8Iumenflor,
Gnmmt mir 9er5eleib unb Sriib1ins
gSie elm bo5es Mdr6en por.
Soufenb Sliitben Ieb ih 1prpfen,
limb ba benf' ih 10 babel,
Nb Die 8lume meines Slides
Denn nibt aud gu finoen let.
Die oud mub 10 fret erbliiben
Inter @turm unb Sonneni6ein,
Darf fetn MATES Sppfgetpd9ie,
Seine Sreibbouspflanoe iein.
Mas bod 10 bic Men1den1eele
Munberlihe Srdume bot,
aiiBt bas 2idt ben junsen Moreer,
JGllt Der sbau auf 8litb' unb glatt!
Der Deutsche beobachter. [volume] (New Philadelphia, Ohio) 1869-1911, 1896-04-22

Das garfiseGieber. =
Mei, fage Ge mer bod, liebe peBbubes
rim, an mas lit bsnn eisentli9 Sbr
Nabi geitorben2 - Mn benz malefi3s
garftigen 0ieber 1T er geitorben.
Mber mas lit benn bas fir Elm 5ieber.
bas garftige 5ieber2 Der Doctor
fagt. bas Tel bas Syieber. penn man e
i'm l1nterleibe babe!
- unh Ste2 .gi! 81! Gerr sra,
ior!' fagt Der lange bdgere GecretGr
Sdmibt gum biden MaiorIe. ber i'm,
ettDas ongetrunten begegnet. .Gis
babtn fheints 3u biel getrnnten!4
limb @ie". entgegnete Der Mdior tur5
surb sic baben iheints 81 ipenig sez
seHen.
Mibsrlegt. proft1or: Rel
ls MegeI phue MnSndbnle. @tubent:
yh ipeiB cine obne Musndbine, ner1
prrfsfIpr. 9rofeifpr: llnb bis ipdrt1
Gs4ssftt: Die alte Deutf6<n trontell
nod siiss bepOr m oiIloslI:
Der Deutsche beobachter. [volume] (New Philadelphia, Ohio) 1869-1911, 1896-04-22

ISUU ttttA uCit yySltW &USluA 1ub ~ MY
10 bdlbtpegs iibertporfen. Gr bat tim
aber audi gleich setparnt, bic gquipase
niht abaufdaffen. QlI1o Gie piHen
mod sar nihts2 Sd bin beilfrob.
Mein Mdnn lit BEL binbfabenbidem
Resen auf bic @rbebunsen eefabren,
nur neil er mir betpei1en ipollte, baB
er ben Wasen iparen fDnnte. Nun
bat er fih einen banbfeiten &atarrb
auseapgen, 5liebertbee bab' id sefoht,
unb nun liegt er i'm @1nibfditen."
Mdbrenb ii1 bic Ginnebmertr in
ibrer berben Mfanier ben amfgefpeiher=
ten Groll BON Der @eele f1ipabte, pflog
2ena cine nitbt rninber tnterefante
3nielpra6e iiber bic bintere @artenz
mauer btnab, als lei bies beuer Der
lieblihite Mufentbalt. Der Doctor
aber eeitanb zines Sages ppltsrnb unb
untpirih, er babe feline 8raunen silz
riidgefauft. Don ben 500 Marf Reit=
gelb berrietb er ni9ts.
Gbrifttan, Der ii9 bislang pribatiz
firenb i'm beimifhen Dorfe aufbielt.
5og triumpbirenb tpteber in Doctors
&utiberitube ein. Seine Mbnuns, bob
Doctors obne tbn nibt ra1iifttren
fDnnten", tpar feline triigeriIhe.
Oas runbli6e Nntltb Der Doctorin
leete fi1 tpieber in bic alteetppbnten
8ebaeensfalten. sybr ipeibes 9er3
iparb periOhnli9 sesen bic Mitpelt sez
ftimmt. unb in bieIer meni9en=
freunbliden Mnpanbluns lief ibr i'm
allereneiten 8db9en Der S3eferenbar
in ben Wes. sic bra9te es nidt
iibers 9ers, ieinen reipsetpollen @rub
unertpibert su laHen. 60 ipaete er
ndhiten Saees einen lebten 8eriu9,
unb iiebe ba, Mama litt pffenbar an
9ebddtniBidpdde, iie lieb ibn snd<
bigIt por.
9lls Der Doctor seeen a9t llbr aus
benz Club fam, traute er ietnen geIunz
ben Mugen nidt. Oa 5ab ia Der
v3edtsnerbreber", tpie er ben Referen=
bar srollenb titulirte, unb i9liirfte ieiz
men Sbee, als bate er bier bas srObte
Geht baau.
r0o, biefe Wsiber! Denn ie nur
ibren Wilen ourdfeben." fnurrte er
inerimmtg.
8rummenb CAB er nd9 Woben aud
feinen bGterlt9en Sesen, um ben 2ena
unb hNaeter Rehtsberbreber bei9eiz
bentlib baten.
8ei Raufmann Saft lag bas Stim=
munssbarometer iebr tief. wOie ptes
len, fd0nen 9unbertmarfih iheine!"
ft0bnte bann 5rau Saft boripurfspou.
yl1nb nenn bic berflirten Oinger nur
ni6t 10 lei9t rotten ipollten."
Damn idlus ibr gbeberr aprnmii=
tbig auf ben Slid, bab bic fleine 6rau
dnsftli9 sufammenflappte.
vWas beulit unb lamentirft Du bag
2ab bic Some tpieber bod fommen,
bann erlebit Du, bab ib in bier Wo=
6en ausberfdufe! Wir baben cine
srobe 3ufunft. Sn Der Mrmee baben
fie bas Sabrrab audi i6on unb tpenn
no9mal aebn Sabre llm finb, bat ieber
anftdnbise Menfa, Der auf 9ilbuns
Qniprud madt, fein 2ab! Oamit
baita!"
limb ridtig, nit Der 2enafonne itie=
gen 5errn Safts Mctien. lnb bic
Ooetorin mubte nod ben i4redli6iten
Der S9reden erleben = zines Saaes
fam au9 ibre 2ena - in pumpbofen
- bod au 3ab. Nber basesen mar
ni6ts mebr gu MAIDEN, benn 2ena mar
ia bersits 6rau Referenbar.
Der Deutsche beobachter. [volume] (New Philadelphia, Ohio) 1869-1911, 1896-04-22
OIa6H@e 2emt'.

Mia brauBen bas Wetta,
Mds fiimmert uns bees2
@asniiasf tDia bic 3eiierln
Gan | unb met Hes!
l1nb ftiirmts aa unb res'nts
unb bunnters felm BRET -
9erinnet i'm Stiiaberl
&unnts f40na net feI!
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06

she had her line out, you understand,
and hit well baited, bit yet still! chs
want fishin FIR Secondhand deacons
ahy to speak Of this spring.
If you haven't lived long enough to
find it out, l have lived long etio,Rh to
tell you that the hlansles{, %6utioiifast
and most goncbyest biggest fool that
ever left his footprints on the broad
bosom Of the earth is one of these old
fools when he takes up q fool nhtien
that he must go md git married. And
that was Deacon Joiner to a mats heel
all around and all over. He didn's
brace up like a man and ask the wilder
if he thought call il passin and then let
NATURE take her course. The deacon he
had the spring disease. He had a scan
dlous bad case of 1t. He had it 50 bat
till he eo"'d mighty nigh taste it: But
lie didn't have the necessary grit in his
craw to go On and take the mediei;as-s
kill or cure:
Now, i'll the main time the general
facts in the case had leaked out pro-
miscus in the settlement WHEN Ble*
scsoggins and Andy Lucas went Il fish
in for Deacon Joiner, and the deacon he
bit more free and quicker than any
speckled trout ever gobbIed a blUe-tajl
nv.
The Opelousas courier., 1896-06-06
plrH AND Point.

Vodka, a sort of whisky made in
Russia; exceeds in alcoholic strength
that of any other whisky.
observation-disclosures; can sou tnet1-
lion ali Instance Of eapii'5ty atttas-
ton ?" Johnnie-"Yes'm; Paderewski."
N. Y. Herald.
-Sehsitiye:-"Miss Prettygirl is very
ssnsiti.s:'i nth what mAsf" "tNheh
Jorkins compared her feet to little mice
at the dance the other night she
fainted.'-Detroit Free Press:
Had Some idea of 1t.-".lnd have
you never learned to dance? Then you
know nothing Of the poetry of notion"
Poetry of metion3 Great seatt; l
walked the floor with that boy Of mine
last night and recited Mother Goose
to him for four whole hours:"-Moon-
shire:
-beiisieid-"A cynical writer re-
marks that a wedding always Brings
happiness to two, the florist and the
c]lerRyinnn1," bleomfeld-"He forgets
the father Of the bride, especially ifthe
poor man has half a dozen other daugh-
ters on his hands."-Pittsburgh Chroni-
cle-Telegrapli,
My boy" said the passebser with
the fur-jincd coat and the smooth
shaver, square face, sit was the sue
cess OF tile season. There wasn't stand
ing room!" The conductor smiled a
sour smile. "'Zif didn't have the
same experience every day." said he to
the imotoriniih.-Cihtihhdtl Ehhiiirer.
Willie" said the boarding house
mistress to her young son.. 81 was
ashamed of you at dinner. Yotl kept
your arns On the table during the en-
tire meal!" "Yes, mamma" was the
hopeful's reply; Il didn't want TO give
the boarders a chance to say there was
nothin' on the able."-Yonkefs StHtes-
man.
Father, what is a luxury"' asked
little johnnie the other night as he
wrapped himself round the parlor
stove. IA luxury? Why, it's something
we don't really need, you know--a thing
we can do without" "Well, Them" re-
piled the logical youth, "what a luxury
a mosquito net must be in winter.'-
Harlem Life.
The minister, Parson Downycouch,
was at dinner with the Chaffie family.
Johnnie spoke up and said: Can a
church whistle" why do you ask.
Johnnie?" asked the clergyman, kind
ly. Because pc owes S12 back pew
rent, and he says he is going II, let the
church whistle for it," After the eler.
gyman had taken his departure there
was a vocal solo by Johnnie.-Texas
Sitter.