Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-04-02
MISCELLANEOUS.
Some of Bill Nye's Best Early Work.

Although Bill Nye's letters and
lectures are familiar to all people
who appreciate humor of the true
sort, his first and best writing-done
while he was editor of the Laramie
Boonierdng-has not had that wide
circulation it deserves. Much of
that excellent work he collected and
published in book form, and it is
from these unpretentious volumes,
Baled Hay )" " Forty LIARS" w.
3. Conkey,) and " Chestnuts,n that
the following characteristic excerpts
are made;
THE TRUE EAMERICAN.-The true
American would rather work him
self into luxury or the lunatic asy-
lum than to hang like great wart
on the face of nature.
SUDDEN FAME.--A man works
twenty years to become known as a
scholar, a newspaper man and a gen.
tleman, while an illiterate murderer
springs into Immediate notoriety in
a day, and the widow of the victim
cannot even get her life insurance.
These things are what make people
misanthropic and tenacious of their
belief in hell.
Dignity does not draw.
1t answers in place of intellectual
tone for twenty minutes, but after
a while it fails to get there. Dignity
WORKS all right in a wooden Indian
or drum major, but the man who
desires to draw a salary through life
and to be sure of a visible means of
support will do we'll to make some
other provision than naughty look
and the air of patronage.
FIRMNEss.-F -Firmness is a good
thing in its place, but we should
early learn that to be firm we need
not stand up against cyclone till
our internal economy is blown into
the tops of the neighboring trees
Moral courage is good thing but it
Is useless unless you have liver to
go along with it. Sometimes a man
is required to lay down his life for
his digester on the altar of his be-
lief are comparatively seldom.
THE RIGHT SORT OF BoY.--I
am always sorry to see youth get
irritated and pack up his clothes in
the heat of debate and leave the
home nest. His future is a little
doubtful, and it is hard to prognosti-
cate whether he will fracture lime
stone for the streets of some great
city or become President of the
United States; but there is a beauti-
ful and luminous life ahead Of him
in comparison with the boy who OBJ
stinately refuses to leave the home
nest. The boys who cannot sum mon
up the moral courage some day to
uncoil the tendrils of his heart from
the clustering idols of the household
to grapple with outrageous fortune,
ought to be taken by the ear and
led away out into the great untried
realm af space.
PUGILIsT OR STATESMAN.-Tho
sands of our own boys, who to-day
are spearing frogs or bathing in the
rivers Of their native land and pa
rading the shiny beach with no
clothes on to speak of, are left to
choose between such career of use
fulness and greatness of brow, and
the humdrum life of a bilious stu
dent and pale, sad Congressman
Will you rise to the proud pinnacle
af fame as a pugilist, boys, or will
you plug along as sorrowing, over
worked statesman? Now, i'm the
springtiDe of your lives, choose be-
tween the two, and abide by the
consequences.
A CHILD's FATE.--During the
big thunder shower a while ago lit
tie Willie, who slept upstairs alone,
got scared and called his mother,
who came up and asked him what he
was frighten ned about. Willie
, frankly admitted that the thunder
was little too much for little boy
who slept alone.
Well, If you Gre afraid" said
his mother, pushing back the curls
from his forehead, "you should pray
for courage"
"All right, ma," said Willie, an