davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
Didn't Believe it.

stranger" he said to the traveller
who had stopped at his unpretentious
home for nights lodging, "hev We
ever hearn tell ez how ef We see red
headed girl ye're boun' ter see white
hOss?p
''Of course. That's an old idea"
II hearn il some time ago myself"
at has some basis to the fact, too.
You see, the case simply is that there
are more white horses in existence
than there are red-haired girls. So
their appearing at the same time is a
more than likely coincidence"
"Well, sir" replied the householder,
in a tone that deiied controversy, "you
kin call il a eerincidenee, er what ye
please. / call il a durn lie. See thet
gal over there"
YES
"Her hairs red, amt it9'
"It's-it's quite auburn"
ats red, that's dead sure thing,
an amt ashamed of of it. She's my
wife. The day before married her |
had one of the purtiest white hosses We
ever laid yer eyes onto. Hoss thief
come along while the preacher was n
pronouncin' the ceremony. Pve got
the red-headed girl, but amt seen no
white hoss sence. An what's more,
/ don't expect ter see none.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
A Lake That Disappears

There is lake near ValdOsta, Ga,
which disappears every three or four
years and comes back again, no matter
what be the condition Of the weather.
The lake is, three miles long and three
quarters of mile wide, with an sv ras e
depth of fifteen feet of water, but al the
present time the water is rapidly pass
ing off through the, ,uht srranean pa sa :
es. and in the next two or three weeks
there will be left in its place a man.
moth basin, furnishing as pretty a
beach as can be found anywhere.
After a month or 50 it begins to return;
in n couple of weeks it is the same
magnificent stretch of water as it was
before. Louisville COsuier-JOUrRGt
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
An Admirable Hotel.

The following unique advertisement
has been prepared by the humorist of
the Puyallup wash Commerce, and
is among the standing matter at the
head of a column and just beneath
cut of the Egyptian pyramids:
"The famous Paradise Park Hotel
takes pleasure in announcing that it
will open up as soon as the snow melts
down TO fourteen feet. Delightfully."-
located on the instep of old Mount
Tacoma Ranier-Puyallup, l4,444 miles
high. No flies, no fleas, no bugs No
stares to KLINE. Guests have the
privilege of doing their own washing
if so bent. Fine fir board. Fresh frost
cake every morning-frost right off
the grass. No xtra charge for stand
ing i'm the kitchen door and seeing
New York and other Eastern villages.
Free sidewalk to and from the house,
and drinking water free to guests kept
in July, August and September. No
mortgages
"Scenery everywhere. No xtra
charge for scenery, kept special sun
ups that have to be xpedited with
special Explosives.
"Only twenty-seven miles across the
ridge to Lard Valley, where sugar
cured hams of mountain goats grow ON
the trees.
"Among the distinguished tourists
hoped this year are Owen Wister, w.
ID. Howells, Professor Charles L. Nor
ton, Theodore Roosevelt, Frederick
Remington and Major Mckinney.
"Uf Senator Squire gets through his
bill to make national park of 1t, he
will also be welcome; otherwise other
wise.
"Now is the time to telegraf for front
bay windows, with glaciers right un-
der them.
"No dogs, children or kranks al
lowed. d."-Puyatldp { Wash. Com
merce.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
Wife VS.. Horse.

Husbands, give to your wives at
least rs much consideration as you
would n pet animal. You would not
knowingly work a favorite horse while
sick. Yet, how many feeble, debilitat-
ed wives work on, dragging out weary
lives, made miserable by the many dis
eases peculiar to women. They suffer
in silence and because delicacy pre-
vents complaint you underestimate the
disease and its effects in shortening
her life. Get her DIR. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription. We assure you that no
sufferer from those painful and weak
ening female diseases, which wreck
the constitutions of so many women,
can take it without being benefited.
The greatest restorative tonic and
strengthening nervine known to med
ical science. Produces refreshing
sleep and drives melancholy away
Prevents threatened insanity, and
cures sleeplessness, nervous debility,
spasms, st. Vitus's Dance, and kin
dred nervous diseases.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
5 SOMERSET PA, WEDNESDAY, JUN 3 B. 1895.

low globes. "Hello p' he exclaimed,
stopping short as be caught sight OF
Little Madame and Canard standing
and looking at him. ''Where did you
get those ducks?
''They strayed in here last night, !"
said the cook. "Do you know whom
they belong to?"
'Well, as near as / can make out,
they are pair of mine that strayed
away last August, and, as they are of a
fine breed, I'll take 'em home with me,
if you don't object"
Comfortably tucked in box ofstraw
Canard and Little Madame journey
ed home, and were glad enough when
they found themselves once more
among their old friends
Canard is now the story-teller of the
farm yard, and is never tired of relat-
ing their adventures. When he fin
ishes some especially exciting tale
Little Madame shakes her head and
says:
"Ah, Canard that would never have
happened if / had not had the courage
to 20 out in the world to seek our for
tunes ~
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
The Storms Echo.

The terrible whirlwind had done its
worst.
Stately monarchs of tile forest lay
PROSTATE. Ruin and desolatiOn mark
ed the path of the funnel-shaped mon
ster that had swept with resistless fury
over the land, destroying everything
that stood in its way.
Here and there were the scattered
fragments of many a dwelling that
had been the abode Of peace, happiness
and prosperity.
DesOlate, despairing men and wom-
EN- wandered among the ruins Now
and then there was one who bewailed
his fate with loud lamentatiOn or Bit
ter curse, but for the most part victims
bore their sorrow in sullen silence, and
there were not wanting those who
found consolation and even cause for
gratitude in the fact that their lives
had been spared.
In an upper room of house that
had escaped the storm lay one of the
injured.
"HOw long has she been uncon-
scious?' inquired the physician.
Ever since she was picked up and
brought here" replied one of the
watchers.
"There seems To be no bones brok-
en-" he rejoined, "but the shock has
been severe. We can only hope for
the best. / have witnessed the effects
of many a cyclone, but this one"
The young woman on the couch
opened her eyes
"a cyclone" she muttered feeoly,
sis rotary storm of widely extended
circuit, its center frequently being
many miles from its outer limit or cir
cumference. This was a tornado. II
was not a cyclone. This misuse of the
term is, however, almost universal, ex-
eept among educated persons"
"From Boston," said the doctor, in
low tone.
And the watchers silently nodded
chicago Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
The Boy Forbore.

With look fun of compassionate
congratulation the noted divine bent
over the small gamin while other soil
ed Arabs of the street paused at a dis
tance and looked on with interest.
II saw it all, my boy" he said.
'sYou did well. I saw the little wretch
strike you and saw the noble fOrbear-
ance with which you held your hand.
Believe me, such conduct will not 90
unrewaried. In itself it is no mean
reward. Do you not feel better now
than you would if you had struck him
back?''
The child rubbed the back of his
hand across his neglected nose. Then
he raised his head proudly.
"You bet / do" he said. 'If I'd
hit him he wouldn't be doing a thing
to me now but walkin' on my face"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
What a Piece of Work is Man.

And so liable to get out of order.
His food may not agree with him, his
liver may be torpid. or his heart have
some functional arrangement. His
blood can become impoverished, and
break out into boils and carbuncles.
His head may ache, and his senses
may one and all refuse to act, his limbs
to obey his volition. He may go into
quick consumption, or he may live
years, moving mass of scrofulous cor
ruption. All this IS possible to a man,
and yet il sll may be avoided by the
timely use of DIR. Pierce's Golden Med
ieal Discovery, the great blood-purifier
and the only one so positively certain
in its curative action that, once used,
it is always in favor. Sold by dealers
everywhere.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
The Eophone.

Possibly there is no greater terror
among the many met with at sea than
a fog. The helplessness of our harbor
boats and the clamor of bells and whis-
ties during heavy fog in New York
harbor gives one some idea of this
nightmare of the ocean; but when a
fog closes down upon vessel at sea
the most reckless captain proceeds
cautiously and anxiously.
The probability of collisions and
wrecks due to fogs has been accepted
as a sort of unavoidable evil, which
must become greater as the number
and speed of the vessels increase. But
the inventive genius of man could not
let such condition of affairs continue
without attempting to do away with 1t,
and there has been perfected lately
simple instrument, called the eophone,
by which the direction from which
sound proceeds may be determined
with absolute accuracy in fog OF dark
ness.
The simplest description of the in
strument is that it consists of two bell
mouthed sound receivers, separated by
central diaphragm. The sound re-
ceivers are connected TO the two eals,
and, when pointed directly at source
of sound, the noise is the same in each
ear. When turned away the sound Is
heard in only one ear.
On shipboard the sound-catching
and dividing part OF the instrument
extends above the top of the chart
house. The tubes are brought within
the chart house, and the instrument
may be turned from below to point in
any desired direction.
The eophone has now been perfected,
there being many points for which
numerous experiments, lasting over
several years, have been required, in
order 10 determine the best form,
especially with the sounding tubes and
ear pieces. Various refinements. such
as micorshones and devices adding tc
complica ton, but not improving the
use, have been eliminated.-New forA
Herald.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03

champagne, to be drunk BY all hands
the same day.
One day Sandy, growing tired Of the
comparative economy which the trip
enforced, concluded to take hand in
the betting. SO be surreptitiously visit
ed the chief engineer and placing five
double eagles in his hands, he request
ed TO be confidentialIy informed to
the exact number of miles the ship
would travel during the current twenty
four hours. The engineer accepted the
douceur, and told Sandy that il he
would bet on 24O miles there would be
no chance of losing. The captains
bulletin on the following day reported
a progress of 241 miles. The sealed
slips were, as usual, opened immedi-
ately thereafter, and Sandy's read SEQ :
90 miles" This was monstrous esti-
mate and, amid much laughter, he was
told that he had lost the wine. Bow
ers would not have it 50, and asked if
the above figures did not stand for
''24O" what they did signify. Upon
receiving no reply, amid fresh out
burst of merriment, he grew furiously
indignant and declared that he would
not he trified with, as he could buy up
the ship and all aboard. The captain
eventually explained Sandy's mistake
to him, when he paid up and looked
pleasant. But from that day on, until
reaching New York, he kept aloof from
his fellow passengers, whether from
pique because of the exposure Of his
illiteracy, or otherwise, did not trans
pire.
The BOwerses, after encOuntering
more than the usual quota Of eomieal
vicissitudes that fall to ne lot ofinexpe-i-
eneed travellers, at length arrived in
Europe, remaining aboard about six
months, during which time their out
lay was not less than $4,000.
Sandy, although hardly able to sign
his name without protruding his tongue
from the left corner of his mouth, pur-
chased in England an immense library
for his new home, the books being
principally chosen on the score of the
fiashiness of their bindings; it mattered
little whether they contained "MOther
GoOse's Melodies" or Herbert Speneer's
lOgic
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
Gafnsy Was PIueky.

''They are fianking the brigade and
charging the battery -
The words were uttered by an officer
who had sufficiently recovered from
the stunning gunshot wound
had given him to raise his head and
reply to the salutatiOn Of his brigade
commander. II took place on the field
Of Aniictani, early in the day, aud the
man. who spoke was Edward :. Bragg.
then lieutenant eolonel commanding
regiment. \ bullet had struck his
arm, inflieting a painful wound, para
lying il.
General John Gibbon, the brigade
commander, was riding rapidly to give
directions to the battery when he saw
colonel Bragg liftup his head. sold
man, are you hurt? You are very
white,n said GibbOn.
"NO. They are thanking the brigade
and charging the battery"
IL wasone Of those occasions when
lieutenant colonel presumed to give
directions 10 his general.
In few minutes the colonel was
able to walk to the field hospital.
Surgeon Bartlett and Bragg had often
bantered each other. When Bartlett
saw the colonel he said: $50 you have
come to see me; have been expecting
all the morning to be called upon 10
amputate your head. What is the
matter, colonel ?''
II don't know. II did I wouldn't
come here. / want 10 find out"
"Wbere are you hit -
''1n the arm. Can't you see ?''
''Is it broken 81
"You are paid to tell me whether it
is broken"
The doctor took the limp, helpless,
hurt arm, felt of it hurriedly and said:
Bragg, if any other man in the army
had been hit as you were he would
have had broken arm, but your arm
isn't broken"
''Thank you. Tie this handkerchief
a-ound my neck and hitch it to my
hurt arm, doctor"
"What are you going to do ,"
81 am going back 70 my regiment"
"Better let me dress your wound
first"
"Never mind the wound; You can
dress that tomorrow" and the plueky
little warrior, who more than earned
all Of his ranks from private 10 briga-
dier, rejoined his fighting and dread
fully deeimated regiment.
On his way hack the colonel saw
a man of his old company. "Hello
Nick. What's the matter?'
II am shot, colonel; I'm going to
die"
mo, Gaffney, you are not going to
die. Let me see your wound"
The boy pointed TO a blue spot on
his breast. "You're all right, chicken"
Then the colonel put his hand over the
wound and said:
''Take a long breath
Poor Nick took a long breath, but il
hurt him like the cut Of a knife, and
the eolOnel's hand was covered with
blood. The shot had struck him in
the breast and gone clean through.
In telling Of the incident years after
ward General Bragg said: Il told the
poor fellow he was all right, but /
didn't believe it. didn't see how
a fellow shot through the lung could
survive.
mick Gaffney is still living and
apparently strong man. The surgeon
drew a silk handkerchief through his
body soon after he went to the hOspi-
tai. 1t makes YOU shudder, doesn't il?
1t made poor Nick Gaffney vince, but
he uttered no sound"
Colonel Bragg remained with his
regiment the balance Of the day, but
when the battle was over the reaction
came and he had TO give up for time.
i-ChicGgO Times Herald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
THE DOWN GRADE.

When the engine is a-puffin',
An a-snortin', an a-blufiin',
Like it mighty oren will;
When you hesS the thing a-blowin',
Then you know it's hard a-goin',
For it's climbin' up a hill.
When 1t goes a-whizzin' by you
In way that's like to try you
Ifyou're just bit afraid;
When it's runnin' fast an faster,
Like il doesn't need master,
Then it's on down grade.
When you see a man a-workin',
An his duty never shirkin',
An a-sweatin, more or less;
When you see him climbin' higher,
An he never seems TO tire,
He's a-climbin' to success.
When you see one goin' easy,
In a manner light an breezy,
Like for pleasure he was made,
Just remember he's a-showin'
That it's mighty easy goin'
When you're on the down grade.
Chicago Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
Mrs.A.E.Uh|.
-

NEW SPRING GOODS. New
1 ' est styles in all kinds of
goods and lowest prices. A full
line of Cashmere and Serges in all
qualities. Splendid assortment OF
Black Wool, Worsted and Mohair
Dress in Brocaded and Novelty.
Styles, suited for dresses and skirts
A big stock of newest styles OF
Novelty Dress Goods, ranging in
price from II 1-2 cts to 81 yard.
GREAT variety of Silks and
" Silk and Wool Plaids, &c, for
waists & dresses. Wash Goods for
desses and waists, including Swisses,
Lawns, Percales, Dimities, Crepes,
Moire, Chintzes, Cheyiotte Prints,
Ginghams, Seersuckers, &c. Splend-
id values in Table Linens, Towels,
Napkins, Table Covers, Bed
Spreads, Portiers, Furniture Da-
mask Silk and Silkoline Draperies
and Cushions.
II AIDES Dress Skirts and Shirt
IL Waists. Ladies' Spring Capes
in Velvet, Silk and Cloth. Ladies
Night Dresses, Corset Covers, Skirts
and Chemise. A handsome assort-
ment of New Lace Collars and
Dress Yokes. Infants Long and
Short Dresses, Long and Short
Goats and Sacks. Great variety OF
Children's Null and Lace Caps and
hats.
NEW Style Buttons, Silks, ,Gimps,
L Y Ribbons, Laces, &c, for dress
trimmings. A large variety OF
Cambria, swiss and Nansook EN-
broidery in white and colors.
Linen Sheeting, Stamped Linen and
Embroidery Silk. A large assort-
ment of Lace Curtains cheap.
Also Curtain Swiss and Scrim.
4 ARGEST stock of new Millin-
IL cry Goods. All the latest
styles. A large assortment of Lace
and Button Guaranteed Kid Gloves.
Fast Colored Stockings in Black
and colors for Ladies', Misses (,
Children, Men and Boys. Best
dark, blue and light calicoes, 5 cts.
Wool and Cotton Carpet Chain.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03

Even chronic diarrhoea succumbs
quickly to DIR. Fowler's Ext. Of Wild
Strawberry, natures own specific fer
all bowel complaints
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03

Some of the politicians out West are
such rabid advocates Of silver that they
won't even follow the principles of the
golden rule.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
Mileage of Congressman.

.'The mileage of Congresmen runs
all the way" said clerk at the Capi-
toI, "from s. to Sl,0)). The law re-
quires that the mileage shall be ealeu-
lated by the nearest route of travel. A
Maryland Representative gets the low
est sum-S3- which includes his eom-
ing aud going, while an Oregon mem-
Der gets the larger sum. The California
Congressmen get on an average $50
each for mileage. The mileage is, of
course, a good deal more than is usually
paid, and it helps out in some eases in
having other expenses. - Washington
SySfy
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
NASAL
CATs2RH

LOCAL DISEASE
and is the result Of
colds and sudden
climatic ch anges-
II can be cued by a
pleasant re m edy
which is applied d.
recily into the nos
trils.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
CKTARRH

fiammation, Heals the Sores, Protects the MEM
brane from Colds. Restores the senses OF taste
and smell. The Balm Is quickly absorbed
and gives relief at once. Price % cents. NJ
Druggists or by mail.
ELY BROTHERS, 5s Warren Street. y. Y
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03

II q special boon to business men who, having
drfted unconsciously into the drink habit and
awaken to find the disease OF alcoholism fastened
upon them, rendering them unit to manage af-
fairs requiring q clear brain. A four weeks
course OF treatment az the
DrrrspIrna xrs,l xzu ls,Srrrlrrr
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03
pfTTsBURo KELLEY INSTITUTE.
- T-Hl

No. 1<tO Flfslt Aftnucp
restores to them all their powers, mental and
physical, destroys the abnormal appetite, and
restores them to the condition they were in be-
fore they indulged in stimulants. This has been
done in more than 1900 cases treated here, and
among them some Of your own neighbors, 70
whom we can refer with confidence as TO the
absolute safety and efficiency of the Kelley Cure.
The fullest and most searching investigation u
n vited. Send for pamphlet giving full inforrna-
ton. @
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03

Most people would be happier if
they didn't expect 50 much. The man
who bought grapevine for nine cents
last year, for instance. ought to be buy
ing bottles now for wine nom this
yeas crop.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1896-06-03

Ely's Cream Balm
opens and cleanses
the Nasal Passages
AIlays Pain and In
Middletown transcript., 1896-07-18
D1MpLEs AT $500 EACH.

So now you can get a coquettish
dimple for your face for $500. 1t is a
high price, and lots of pain must be
suffered; but women will have them,
no matter at what cost. London sur
geons, according to Woman man ufac-
ture fascinating dimple for the sum
named. But it is considered good
investment by plain women Who getting
fearful about their chances ofmarryfng.
And the woman who desires to rid
herself of wrinkles, crows feet, and
generally to improve the condition Of
her facial cuticle, can retreat from the
world for time, enter the abode W Iere
beauty, skin deep, is manufactured,
and submit to course of treatment
which, as mere cure for disease,
would seem appalling-for it literally
means being 1ayed alive by acids and
electricity. When she emerges with a
faultless skin of babyish texture she
will begin the study of her features,
and. if not found satisfactory, they to
in turn, must be doctored. The nose
may be Strengthened by wearing a
metal mask. the mouth made the
proper arl istic size by a surgical oper-
alton, ard The eyebrows arched( 10 q
symmetrical curve.
Middletown transcript., 1896-07-18
KEEPING OUT OF DEBT.

Indebtedness is financial cancer.
which, if allowed to develop, will in
volve our entire business relations, and
in the end eat up our substance and
ruin our characters.
Some of The causes of so much In
debtedness are,
Fsrst-And this applies especially to
young men, the tendency to spend
money too freely for the qualification
of imaginary wants; things which they
believe they must have, but without
which they would oftentimes be better
off. 80
Second-Tbe tendency towards liv-
ing just little mGre extensively than
present circumstances will permit.
foolishly believing in the good fortunes
of the future.
1hird-And we might say the most
universal cause of indebtedness and
national hard times is individual ex-
travagance. In times of prosperity peo-
pie rush along blindly. living each dag
The full extent Of their income, for
getting that prosperity and adversity
follow each other in alternate waves.