The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1896-10-14
A SAMPLE GOLD.BUG SPEECH.
How 1t Was Exploded.

conservative, the high toned the aristo-
cratic element Of the community, not hav-
ing given the money question any more at
tention or time than necessary in emphatic
language to condemn the agitation of it,
were going to have an intellectual treat
He was going to give vent to their opin-
ions.
He was going to tell them what those
opinions were.
He was going to explain those opinions to
them.
And from him they would learn just how.
for long time. they had been considering
these very problems.
The cranks would catch it, the gibbering
idiots who had been talking free silver
to lot of half witted fools were going to
be squelched, and he would be provided
with "a case of surgical Instruments and
pry open the intellccts' in full view of the
audience of those propounding money CO.
numdrums, and let into such befuddled
brains honest golden rays, whereby a per-
manent' cure: for the free silver fallacy
would be guaranteed, and the patient be-
come as one Of the first named. barring,
Of course. the fashionable. the cultured.
the intelligent, the conservative, the high
toned. and the aristocratic qualities.
Not only would the wealth and beauty Of
the city be present but as it was going to
be free, the country people from way
back,
THE hay SEEDS
1.-The jays
The imbeciles."
THE long whiskered Mnatics."
THE crazy fools on whose face Gods
sun never ought to radiate outside the
walls of an institution for the insane
THE half witted Idiots, with their half
witted sons
Those heretics. who had forsaken the
grand old faith Of the Great Father at
Washington. doubling the prophecies and
sayings of those wise See-ers, Carlisle,
Sherman and Morgan; that class Of people
who ought to be kept at least IN the same
condition in which they were now in, to
educate them that such was proper for
them they had been allured to attend.
and-they would come.
He was going to make them all laugh by
telling them that some people wanted
horses, COWS, oxen, calves, he-and-she
asses, hogs, lambs, sheep, pigs, cats. dogs,
ROSTERS, potatoes, puppies. old hens.
young chickens, and eggs coined into
money" and he was going to give them
some 'horse sense talk, and tell them
about the aristocratic dollars getting into
the humble hands Of labor.
Dollars that can stand up on their hind
legs alongside the most aristocratic dol
lars Of the universe, and say take off
your hat And should they refuse to
take it off. knock it off.
Dollars which could be deposited in the
safety deposit vaults, to be inherited by
our children" and lay there for months
and years, and generations, and not
Shrink even If the vault was damp, "be-
cause they were sound" Dollars which
"the prudent housewife could put away in
her hiding places and they would not
shrivel,'' blush, because they were mod
est and clean.
Dollars which the millionaires of the
country would have no scruples to admit
to his own private vault. because they
were honest.
Dollars which he had been promised for
lecturing to the untutored, and after the
election was over, the smoke of the cam
paign cleared away, his bill paid. he
would take with him to the, great nations
Of the universe. and when then and there
brought forth by him from the caves and
hiding places purposely contrived by his
tailor in his trousers. would have no Ill
smell about them, for they were not I'M
sound.
Dollars which, when meeting the dollars
of other countries, would not be ostra-
cised by them. but recognized"
He was proud of his country and he
would pray to God Che noted politician)
that no result will ever come to that dear
land of his when he went abroad with the
money of his government his pocket,
that he would have to apologize for 1t be-
cause he had it,
And then when he did get abroad with
those honest dollars, those sound dollars,
those modest dollars those immaculate
dollars" those good American dollars, he
would spend them like king. Spend them
as If they were dry leaves and he the
owner Of boundless forest.
He would have dollars on which instead
Of I'm God We Trust would be inscribed
I'm Rothschild We Trust
But should I'VE descend single step
from the highest standard of value to s,i-
YER monometallism." then he would say
and they would seyd their emissaries to
the four corners Of the earth, to the in
habitants of the Straits. and to the dwell
ers in Greenland, to the Russians, and the
Chinese, to all the little nations, deprive
them Of their silver used by them as a cir
culating medium, take away their spoons.
with which their babes are fed. the trim
kets of the women, the silver calves they
worshipped as idols, and load those onto
ocean greyhounds, speed with them to
New York, sal! into the harbor. and de-
mand that all Of that silver shall at once
be coined into money. Yes. "even the
greasy Mexican dollar on the one side"
with that bird Of freedom and the other
side with that dear American face, Of the
Goddess Of Liberty, to 1.-The nations eternal
dishonor."
And then, after 1t had been coined, and
land build into q pyramid Of American sill
yer dollars, whose apex would reach to the
eternal stars then those Rothschilds
would stand on the PROV OF their ships
and say to US American people, pass me
a law compelling yourselves to pay me two
dollars for every one there is in that eter-
nal pile" He was going to tell them all
that.
And more, he was going to tell them that
abroad silver (American) dollars would
be taken at par" that the United States
treasury would exchange them for gold
dollars, and then that he was going to ask
an intelligent workman-that is, II he
could find any--if they realized what q