The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-11-04
: One way: II say, Sparkins di

= One way: Il say, Sparkins ! did
you see in the paper to-day that the
captain Of the schooner Emma is to
receive medal for his heroic conduct
in saving five lives ?" "Well, what
of it? I've saved hundreds of lives,
and nobody ever gave me q medal"
"You Impossible How =? When p
"Why, studied for physician, and
then refused to practice" F."
: One CT tie notices in the porch
of the church at Hawarden, England,
! near Mr.. Gladstones castle, reads
thus "On your way to the Lord 8
house be thoughtful, be'silent, or say
but little. Speak not Of other mems
faults; think of your own, for you
are going to ask forgiveness. Never
stay outside; 60 in at once, time
spent inside should be precious.
- Mamma. what is hereditary ?"
asked Bobby, shedding few tears and
laboriously tripping over the syllables
of the word. why, it is-itis some.
thing you get from your father or me,
replied the mother. Silence of two
minutes, and moro tears. "Then,
ma, " he asked, ;'is spanking hcredi-
tary ?"
= Blanche: "Charlie told me last
evening that be never before loved
any girl as he loved me" Edith
eyes, but it was only three months
ago that he told me he never could
love another as he loved me-" Blanche:
'But that was before he had seen
me.
= Tommy "Paw, what does it
mean in the paper when it says that
the leaders of party are working like
beavers ?' Mr.. Figg: "It might
me ID they are saying nothing and
saving wood, but it usually means
they have begun throwing mud.
- Husband: "You are not econ
omical." Wife: ''Well, if you don't
call a woman economical who saves
her wedding dress fora possible second
marriage, I'd like to know what you
think economy is
- Kohlspring:: Il heard that Bubble
had drilled down 1000 feet in that
we'll of his. I wonder how he is get
ting along? 2" Rhino: ''Ihear that he's
getting long well.
"What was that noise I heard
before Mr. Stedly went p 'I don't
know, mamma, unless it was the ques-
tion.' "IVhat do you mean What
has a question to do with noise p
"He-popped-it.'
Photographer Ito Uncle Sly:
"You are a splendid sitter, sir.
Uncle 81: "Waal, so they say to home.
I've been practicin' sittin for nigh
onto twenty years.
M. Victor. the French naturalist,
says tuat toad will live 2S months
completely imbedded in plaster of paris
poured on as a liquid and then allowed
to harden.
-" "Gossamcr IRON" the wonderful
product Of the Swansea (Wales) iron
mills, ia so thin that it takes 4,800
sheets piled one on the other to make
an inch in thickness.
- Good advice Never leave home
on a journey without a bottle of
Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy. For sale by Hill
Orr Drug Co.
- TIT is claimed that love levels
| all things, sighed Mrs. Grumpey. "But
| no one in the world ever saw a lover
with level head, sneered Grumpey.
-Herodotus, "the father of history" :"
| declares that the Inhabitants of the
"lake dwellings," of Switzerland fed
their horses and cattle on fish.
- A great ash tree in Sterlipgshire,
Scotland, which was planted by Sir L.
| Nicholson, in 1896, is still in a
fourishing condition.
- A million dollars in silver will
weigh 56,931 pounds or almost 2S4
tons.
- Matches were first made by an
Euglishman named Walker; this in
1929.
- The tree which bears the vege-
table ivory of commerce is native Of
Peru.
- The biggest coward in all the
earth III the man who is afraid to do
right.
= We never get more happiness
than we try to secure for other people.
- The coin dealers pay 81 for the
United States dime dated 1910.
- The residents of Nova Scotia are
called "Blue Noses