West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-06-18
OLD MAN B0WSER'
tRADES HIS HOUSE IN TOWN FOX
A FARM COUNTRY.
kcjoices Greatly at The Prospect Bu4
Mrs. Bowser Is In Doubt

feC rcauY rack up eN-
claimed Mr.. Bowser, as he unlock
ed the front door the other evening
and kicked his hat clear into the
sitting room.
.Havc you gone crazy !" gasped
Mrs. Bowser, AS she came forward
to meet him.
"Not if the court knows herself
What dye think we are going to
do? How long will it take to pack
up our furniture -
"Whst on earth is the matter
how ?'
1--WE are going to move See
this'paper? l signed it tins after
noon. Mrs. Bowser, I've done the
sharpest, cutest and most sensible
thing you ever knew me to do. Eve
leased Green's farm, and we take
possession next week, and Green
moves into tins house"
"You-you don't tell me - she
stammered, as. he danced around
the room.
"Don't u Think Of it,, Mrs.
Bowser-cows to milk, hogs to feed,
blowing and hoeing and reaping--
fresh milk, golden butter, newly
laid eggs-whoopee -
She grew pale and weak and had
TO sit down, and she hid stared at
him for thirty seconds when he
asked
"Well. why don't you jump up
and click your heels together (?
Think of your going out aG early
dawn to- feed the hogs aud pet the
lambs aud pull the calf's ears
Think OF strawberries right off our
own vines-meadow larks-apples,
pears and plums right at our own
door ] Yum Yum Why, woman,
expected you'd faint away when
j told you the news r.
''So-you' leased a farm p"
she slowly queried.
"Of course 1 have, and next
week well be out gallopin' FER the
dewy grass, listening to the blue
birds and rolling down hill among
the daisies. Why, | can't wait for
the time to come! DIR. Gregg, who
came up on the car with me, says
it will prolong our lives by 10 yelrs.
You get the pure quill out there
no smoke or dirt or cinders. You'll
look like bride inside a month,
and as for the old MAXWELL, you
won't know me after I've ripped
up an acre OF soil What's the
matter with you ?''
IL wish you hadn't done it -
replied Mrs. Bowser, as she wiped
the tears from her eyes.
"You--do-eh? Wish | badn't
leased a farm and prolonged pro
longed, Mrs. Bowser-our lives by
&;teeu years Wish you weren't
going out among the birds and
blossoms and spice aud pure, sweet
air J Wish you were not going to
see lambkins gawbol and calves
frisk and pigs rub theselves against
the rail fences Well, you do beat
me -
"Mr. Bowsor, you are no farmer, 4"
she said, as she got her feelings
under control.
"Oh / ain't?" he shouted.
whats the matter that Pm no
farmer Why, / was sowing and
planting and resping before you
bad cut your first tooth No farm.
cr eh ? Don't you worry youseli
that 1 can't make cornfeld get
up and hump itself as IL growing
for prize medal, and that I done
know beans from beets. Even il
wasn't a farmer, couldn't learn
Haven't got the necessary saw.
dust in my head to hold a pillow OF
handle a seytbe am not going
TO the country to eat salt pork
three times day and Put IN "a
hours Of bard work, but for tho
cake Of our health and the change. 81
whats the matter with Oui
health ?"
Matter Of our health -humph
Look at INC I've lost 20 pound.
10 The last seven days. have night
tweats and aday cough. My lungs
liver, kidneys and general system
Is simply lettering on the verge o
the grave. Look iu The glass
You are 81 yeaFs old. but you l0os
20 be 80. Doctor Gregg SAID thu