Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1896-11-04
WITH THE PRINCE.
The Professional Man Has a Very Funny
Dream.

The Professional Man Has very tunny
Dream.
say 1 had a funny dream last night, "
said a well-known professional man, IS
he pulled away at an early morning cigar
on the back seat of an open motor, relates
the cleveland Plain Dealer Il dreamed
1 dined with the Prince of Wales. That 5
right-dined with him and wined with
him. Don't know what put the idea IN
my heed but there wasn't a detail miss
ing. Met the prince at Bayards. Hullo,
said Albert Edward, are You the author
of "Humbug of Heredity?" That's book
I've been thinking of writing for the last
tea years. you know ! told him l wrote
it, and he clapped me on the shoulder in
such a friendly way and said: Say l
agree with YOU exactly, me boy. l must
have you round to dinner. When can
you come? l want you to meet mother
L told him l was entirely at his disposal
and after he had consulted LITTLE 5ilt-
edged book, on the cover of which l could
plainly see with compliments of the After
Dinner PHI Company, limited, he said,
Make it Thursday-6 o'clock-Windsor
castle-come early ana see the animals
don't fail us-ta Ia.
"Of course, 1 was there early, although
1 don't know just how 1 got there Any
way. 1 found myself outside the gates in
a dress suit. a top coat and a high hat.
rang the bell and a tall, sidewhiskered
footman let me in. He seemed to expect
me, for lie took me up five flights OF stairs
i'm the castle and showed me into my room.
1t was a very decent room, in its way, with
an iron bedstead two kitchen chairs and a
three-legged washstand If you wants 10
SHOVE I'll bring you she hutensils, said
the footman. If L wants to what" l in
quired. Wants TO SHOVE, sir. l told
him L didn't need shaving, and he went
away. After a while he came back and
took me out in the park TO see the deer and
the stables and the kennels. suppose,
bein' an Hamerican, you'd like to see the
'ogs most. sir said the insufferable foot
man. told him l might have that pleas
ure before dinner was over, but my sar-
casm was quite thrown away. Well, 1
went back up the five flights and after a
while a gorgeous turnkey, carrying white
curtain pole, came up and said dinner was
ready. / was getting mighty hungry and
hurried after the turnkey so fast that sew
eral times L nearly went sprawling over
his staff of office. found everybody in a
small ante-chamber adjoining the dining
room entrance, and a dazzling sight it
was. The Prince greeted me cordially,
and in an easy way ratified off the titles Of
the other guests. 1 didn't understand
much of anything but duke and Ouch
ess.' and then we all went into dinner. Al
bert and sat at the lower end Of the Ia
HE and the dukes and duchess ranged
themselves on either hand. Just before
tho SOM came in. q short stout, old lady
carving a cane and supported by lady
in-Uaiting on either side, appeared IN the
doorwav. Everybody stood up and then
l,nev If was the queen. She sat down at
81 bood of the table, and Albert tapped
mo ON the shoulder and said: Mother
t,,is is the American gentleman Of whom
sDoke' The queen looked at me with a
IL, malevolent glance, I thought, as
made my best bow.
...t5as he been vaccinated?' she asked
in a high, quavering voice
q. Yes. mother
".And fumigated?
Yes, mother.
.,rben the prince bent over to me and
said:
Mothers getting a little old
- know what you're saying to him
cried Her Majesty, shrilly. But can just
tsu Won once for all that I amt going to
stem down and out until 1 get good
.,Tbis was something Of a dampener. and
we an felt it. although I am sure the
prince gave me a sly wink over his soup
spoon. / Just had time TO take sip oil
SOM myself when the funkies rushed IN
and carried al the plates out. 1t was
inst that way with all the courses. There
were eighteen of them, and 1 didn't set
r,o,s imam a half dozen mouthfuls out of
the whole lot. Pretty soon the queen look
ed my way and said;
".What part of Cleveland are you fromF
81 From the east end, ma'am.