The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1896-01-29

NSS~A ~~>O -
Because my mind and Go not seem able to
agree.
Now wealth is very lovely, and there's much
that it will buy,
But 'tis sorry burden to a fellow such as l,
For Just the thing need the most gold helps
me not to find,
And that, as you may guess, IN brlef- S hrro
and stable mind.
-Haroer's Bazaar.
Doubts as to Peduncle.
Mard-How do you like that young Mr..
Peduncle?
Irene-I don't like him at all. He's either
very stupid or he's an impudent upstart.
said to him at the party last night that
didn't feel like eating anything, and he
said, 'sWhy, Miss Squires, You certainly
look well enough to eat"
ssWeu, what of that?"
.sWhy, he should have said looked good
enough to eat. t.'-Chicago Tribune.
Well Informed.
$50, Uncle Jack, you don't much believe
in the idea that men are called to preach"
- 'sWall, sab, de Lawd mout call some mig
gers ter preach, but it sorter 'pears ter me
dat whar de Lawd calls one Ole Man Lazi-
ness calls er dozen. Nine niger preachers
outen ten is de lazies' pussons in de worl"
'tHow do you know, Uncle Jack?"
''CazeI'ze erpreacher merse'f, sab. AR
kansaw Traveller.
The Melon In the Well.
The folks keep cool in Billville, for every
blessed man
Has got linen duster an big palmetto fan,
An when the weather riles 'em an biles 'em
for spell
They just make the acquaintance of the melon
in the. well,
For the coolest dew that ever
On the pant;n lilies fell
Amt nothin to the melon
The melon in the WE'LL
The folks keep cool in Billville-none Of 'em
dress in style
Ketch more breeze in minute than you'd run
down in a mile,
you'd tell,
They'd beat it all to flinders to the melon in
the well,
For the coolest breeze that ever
Blowed the dahiras in the dell
Amt nothin to the melon
The melon in the well!
Atlanta Constitution.
And he Dropped Them Line.
"Are you talking to yourself or to the
fshs'' INQUIRED the man on horseback, rein
ing up.
ITO the fsc," answered the sunburned
man on the log, intently watching his cork.
II ar trying todraw them out. t.''-Chicago
Tribune
All Hope Gone.
"Can nothing be done for the prisoner.
Mr.. Brief"
II fear not, sir"
1.-THE legal expedients are all exhausted,
are they?"
'.No. But the prisoners money is."--Tia-
Bits.
A Seaside Reveric.
It's fun to lie upon tie beach
And hear the breakers roar
And see the wavelets strive to reach
A higher point on shore.
It's fun to hoist parasol
And dawdle all day long,
Regardless of what may befan
Amid the Seethlng thronS.
And yet with deeper Jog it thrills
To smite with tireless hand
That witless wretch who comes and fills
Your bathing suit with sand.
New York Press.
The Safe Plan.
Travelling Mana chop and cup of cof
fee quick. Ny train leaves in 20 minutes.
Waiter-Yes, sab; Is cents, sab.
''Do you want pay in advance?"
'sYes, sab. You may be gone before it's
cooked, sah."-New York Weekly.
Formidable.
The following is a copy of letter sent
to gentleman by an insurance agent:
DEARSIR-Ihope to give you acall tomorrow
or Wednesday on my way 10 - and shall be
delighted to take your life.
Enjoying Himself.
He swarmed around the betting stand.
With others of his kind.
His collar crushed, his hat smashed in,
But that he didn't mind.
rhe hot sun beat upon his back,
With heat like furnace fired.
While he. beside the racing track,
Perspired and perspired.
He turned unto his friend and said:
Great Caesar, ain t it warm!
I'm mighty glad to think that
Amt working Oh farm
Indianapolis Journal
Doing His Best.
Mother-Harry Tucker is the worst boy
{/>1 1-oD
IS far from him as possible.
TOMMY do, ma. He stays at the head
of our classes all the time.-Truth.
Not Inn 1t.
There was young maiden of Lynn,
Who said she esteemed it a sym
For young girls to 1irt-
And she wasn't expert,
Fer she I@dn't know how to begynn.
Al r.- aif tho