davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1896-12-19
Almost as Cheap as Walking.

It is calculated that the theatrical pro- fession in England will save S125,OOO year by the reduction in fares which the railway companies have conceded to travelling companies.
The St. Johns herald., 1896-12-19
A Gem by Richter.

Look upon fame as the talk of the neighbors at the street door; a library as a learned conversation; joy as a sec ond. sorrow as a minute. life as q day; and three things as all in all-GOd, creation. virtue.
The St. Johns herald., 1896-12-19

Ii is said that Alfred Austin, laureate. will write a poem on Armenia as soon as Salisbury takes action. No wonder the premier is silent.
The St. Johns herald., 1896-12-19

At last the secret Of Paderewski's weird manipulation of the piano is ex- plained. Advices from New York say the musician is insane
The St. Johns herald., 1896-12-19
Led to Crime.

Kindly individual (going through prison)-My good man, tell me what brought you here.
 Embezzler-I tried to keep a bicycle in repair on small salary.-Up-to- Date.
The St. Johns herald., 1896-12-19

The steamboat T. B. feathers, which sunk in the Mississippi River the other day, should have been called the T. B. rubbers for safety.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25

Persian horses are to be admired and
liked. Their beauty is a source of con-
stant enjoyment. and they are almost in
variably gentle and doodle. 1t is In vain
TO form any resolution against making a
pet'of one of them My new acquisition,
Boy writes Mrs. Bishop in Journeys in
Persia" insists on being petted and his
entlcing ways are irresistible. He is al,
ways tethered In front of my tent with a
rope long enough to give him consider
able liberty and he took advantage of It
the very first day to come into the tent
and make 1t apparent that he wanted me
to divide lemon with him.
Grapes We're his preference; then came
cucumbers, bread and biscuits. Finally
he drank milk out of a coup plate. He
comes up to me and puts down his head
to have his ears rubbed, and if do not
attend to him at once, or If l cease at
tending TO him, he gives me a gentle
but admonitory thump, | dine outside
the tent, and he is tied to my chair and
waits with wonderful patience for the
odds and ends, only occasionally rubbing
his nose against my face to remind me
he is there. A friendly shuttle is the only
sound he makes.
He does not know how to fight, or
that teeth and heels are for any other
uses than eating and walking He Is
really the gentlest and most doclle of
his race. The point at which he draws
the line is being led. Then he draws
back and a mulish look comes into his
sweet eyes. But he follows like dog.
and when / walk he Is always with me.
lie comes when ] call him. stops when
| do accompanies me when l leave tho
road In search OF flowers. and usually
puts his head either on my shoulder or
under my arm. TO him am an embodi-
nent of melons. .cucumbers, grapes, peach
es. biscuits and sugar, with good deal
Of pettlng and ear rubbing thrown In.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
PBGGING IT DOWN.
Wonderful Speed on the Readings Sea-
shore Line.

AS almost everybody is looking for
ward to a trip to the seashore during
the summer, the following account,
from the Philadelphia Record" OF
remarkable fast trip from Phila-
delphia to Atlantic City will be found
interesting -
For several weeks past rumors have
been in circulation to the effect that
either or both of the railroads between
Philadelphia and Atlantic City have
in contemplation further reduction
in the time OF express trains between
this city and the seashore. Up to this
time neither the Pennsylvania nor the
Reading has given official countenance
to these reports, but it has been col,-
clusively demonstrated that one Of
the lines is able easily to cut the time
down to one hour for the round trip,
including feriage across the Delaw
On Wednesday the Reading Rail.
roads -four o'clock flyer" made
the quickest trip ever accomplished
by regular train, and established a
new record for regular travel between
Philadelphia and Atlantic City. In
precisely Sc minutes from the time
the ferry-boat left Chestnut Street
wharf the train was brought to a
standstill in the depot at Atlantic
City. The ssh miles between Cam
del and Atlantic City was traversed
in 46 minutes, showing that the
Reading is not only capable OF peg
ging down the time to 60 minutes
from city to seashore, but can even
if desirable, better this consummatior
of what has been the dream of rail
road men for years.
The engine making the phenomen
al run was the "Number 1926" one
of the locomotives recently built a
Baldwin's for fast seashore service
1t hauled the usual train of one Pull
man and six heavy coaches. Nc
special effort was made to "breaI
the record" and the passengers were
not aware that they were " assisting
in notable feat of railroading.
The whole Of the Readings Allan
tic City line has recently been relaic
with extra heavy steel rails which
with the additional protection afford
ed by the complete automatic block
signal system, enables much highe
speed to be attained than heretofore
while at the same time adding to tn,
security of travel
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
Gen. Sheridan Mt Sedan.

At Sedan, Gen. Sheridan, as military
commissioner from the United States,
was present on the summit of the little
hill where King William, Bismarck,
Moltke and group of notable officers
We're watching for the end. Moltke was
standing by large telescope mounted
on a tripod Spread upon the ground
at his feet lay maps Of the region
roundabout. which at moments he stud
led attentively. 1t was Sheridan
quick Of eye and judgment-who first
perceived with whom the victory rest
ed When that final charge (of the
FRENCH failed, the German ring closed
as with a snap; and Sheridan. as he
shut his binocular, broke the strained
silence with the exclamation, 1T Is all
over with the French nowr At the
words, Moltke left his telescope, stalk
ed aside to where Sheridan sat, and
silently shook hands With the American
soldier who had felt the pulse of many
battles.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
Protect the Forests /,

The present law, furnishing those
who set fire to forests, is stringent
enough, but lacks one provision very
necessary for its strict enforcement
The law does not carry with it any
appropriation for carrying the act into
execution. Without such a provision
there is no means of enforcing the law.
This effect will doubtless be remedied
by the next legislature. The state
forestry commission will go before the
legislature with statistics and informa-
ton as to the vast amount of wealth
that is destroyed each year by forest
fires IN this state, and will ask the
legislature to appropriate what money
is needed to bring the guilty parties
to justice.
1t is a comparatively easy matter to
secure evidence sufficient to convict
the man who maliciously or carelessly
set fire to the forests, but under exist
ing circumstances no body feels in
cllned to take the burden of bringing
the mlscreants to justice, with the
probability of being compelled to bear
all the expenses of arrest and convic
ton on their own shoulders. With the
financial backing of the state, vigor.
Gus campaign against the reckless de-
stroyers of forests could be waged.
The conviction and punishment of
few of these reprehensible offenders
would doubtless have a wholesome
effect and eventually put an end to the
destruction of the timber still remain
ing upon the hillsides of the state.
The question of the preservation of the
forests is serious one. The estimat-
ed loss from the destruction of our
forests aggregates millions of dollars
annually and as a result of the vandal-
ism that prevails unchecked the tim
Der lands of the state are fast becom-
ing denuded' The people of the state
have grown careless in this matter that
is of such vital importance to all.
In Columbia county the annual loss
from forest fires is enormous, and the
prediction is made that if the present
rate Of destruction is continued the
hills will become barren, rocky and
unfertile, and the smaller streams will
disappear This state of affairs may
not be expected during the present
quarter of century, but if the pres
ent rate of destruction continues it
will come eventually, and our success
ors will have cause to condemn our
shiftlessness in not warning off the evil
day by protecting the forests from the
vandalism that now prevails. The
members Of the assembly from Colum-
bia county should be prepared to make
bold stand in favor of any law that
may be introduced looking to the re-
lief of the country from the torch of
the timber DESTROYER
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
Big Growth in Exports.
Statistical Bureau Furnishes Gratifying
Figures.

Washington, d. c., June 24.-The
Chief of the Bureau of Statistics re-
ports that the total values of the ex-
ports of merchandise from the United
States during the month of May, 1896,
and during the II months ended May
81, 1896, as compared with similar
exports during the corresponding
periods of the preceding year, were as
follows: May, 1896, $66,5a5,16o;
1895, $64, 267,I79.
Eleven months ended May 81, 1896,
$SI5,97I,764; 1895, $7sa,57o,335.
In May last the exports exceeded
the imports by So, ,56I,259.
In May, 1895, the excess of imports
over exports was $I,76I,675.
During the II months ended May
81, 1896, the excess of exports over
imports was $92,7II,oI7; and the
excess for the corresponding period
of the preceding year was $50, ,a62,-
4I4.
In May, 1896, the exports of gold
exceeded the imports by $IS,4o3,-
100; and during the II months ended
May 81, 1896, the excess of exports
over imports was $74,5o5,546.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
Sa muel's Mistake.

did you hear about Samuels?" asked
Mrs. Greymare's husband.
mo; l didn't hear about Samuels," I"
the lady answered. When you have
anything to tell why don't you tell it?''
Yes dear. Wen, Samuels was 60
ing home the other night when a foot
pad shot at him ana the ball hit a
latchkey in Samuels' vest pocket and
his life was saved. So you see what
good latchkey is
Indeed If Samuels had been going
home at a reasonable hour he wouldn't
have met any footpad. Secondly, he
carries $50, 600 insurance, payable to his
wife. and If It had not been for that
key she would be a rich widow right
now. So. if you are limiting around for
a letchkey, you will have to bring home
some better story than that one.
That's all I'm going to bed now. and
II you want TO read you'll have TO go
to the kitchen. And don't waste the
coal. l."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25

They had been talking of peculiar
wills, when Mr.. l.. Il. Cannon, the
popular baritone, remarked: II never
knew Of but one man to leave his voice
to another. That was Jimmie Love,
who had been great baritone ballad
singer In his day. and was a member of
a minstrel troupe when he died Sher
Campbell and William E. Castle, after
ward the best of our opera singers, were
members Of the same troupe. Jimmie
Love got sick while travelling out West
and knew he would soon die. The men,
bers of the troupe had to go on to on
other town, so they made a formal
good-by call. Boys said Love, I wish
1 had something to leave you In my
will but, like many another ballad
singer, l did not manage to gather
much Of this worlds goods. Campbell
had been a tenor singer and had be-
come tired OF singing tenor ballads.
Yes, you have he answered the dying
minstrel, will me your voice All
right, Sher, my voice goes to YOU re-
sponded Love The troupe started on
their road, and during the night Love
died. The next morning at rehearsal
Campbell found that his voice had
changed from tenor to a fine baritone,
though he did not learn of the death of
Love for several hours afterward.
Campbell, as every one knows, became
one of the great baritones of the stage,
and with Castle and Caroline Richings
made popular English opera great
success in this country" Washington
Post.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
Keep Your Eye Peeled,

Counterfeit five dollar bills are in
circulation, and two were taken IN a
neighboring town the other day They
are unlike any five dollar bills ever is
sued. They were made by ''raislng"
the one dollar silver certificates of the
series of 1891 and the work is rather
clumsy The word some" in the CEN
tire is blotted with ink so that the final
"E" is all that is discernable and the
large figure at the right end is
changed to figure S. On the back
the large word "one" in the centre is
changed to "hve' and the large fig
ure at each end is changed to a Y
and s, ore directly over the other.
Whenever the words zone dollar"
appear in small letters they are erased
SO as to be undiscernable. The bills
are considerably torn and patched so
as to disguise as far as possible the
crude work of the counterfeiter.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
PROOF OF GIRLS COURAGE.

They Relate Incidcpts Showing Their su.
pcrior bravery over Men.
"Humphp' said the girl with the dim
Die In her chin, 1T only goes to show
shat women are really more courageous
than men"
''of course they are" said the girl
with the eyeglasses. why, only the
other day l read of girl who had a
hole bored In one Of her front teeth and
n diamond inserted. Did you ever hear
of a man who was brave enough to 60
to the dentist unless ne really had tor"
mo" said the president. "Oh, girls,
I once had my pocketbook snatched
from me by a boy, and | Just ran after
him until he dropped 1t. 1 don't know
that l should have been so brave" she
added. "but for the fact that, beside
my card, It contained several unpaid
hills of which my husband knew moth
Ing. IL the police had caught the boy
with 1t. they would have communicated
the fact to him, and / never should
have heard the last Of those bills"
Il hope he appreciated your bravery,
anyhow" said the girl with the eye
glasses.
vi couIse HOt, salu the president.
his only comment was that It served
me right for carrying my pocketbook
In my hand. Oh, you can't make a man
understand that a woman fears moth
Ing. Well, girls, 1t is time to adjourn,
and / wish several of you would come
home to dinner with me l broke Toms
lovely bit Of old Ven tian glass to-day,
and j mad rather not be alone with him
when he finds it out'--New York Jour
nal
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25

IT was intensely cod almost too cold
for the ducks to be flying, but the crack
of dawn saw the Colonel over at the
bar. shiverinE IN tie blind of yellow
reeds. A fotila Of decoys bobbed up
and down in the icy blue water a few
yards from shore. Cato" the Colonel's
colored servant and trmorer, was seat
ed on the floor Of the blind hugging a
Chesapeake water spaniel close in his
arms for warmth
Pretty cold this morning, Cato" said
the Colonel, stamping.
"Yas. sch"
''Ducks seem to have gone some
where else" remarked the Colonel, ten
minutes later
''Yas, seh."
IT seemed to he growing colder A
Aalf hour % ssed.
Fresh Pond must have been frozen
over last night" said the Colonel
'Yas. sen"
Bangl went gun way up on the
frats near the mouth Of Gunpowder
River.
There" remarked the Colonel, speak
Ing to himself; there's another Jack
gas who hasn't sense enough to stay in
eke house
''Yas, sch; that's so. sch"
Cato's tone showed no intention to be
impairment. but there was a twinkle
In his eye.
Cato" remarked the Colonel, fetch
those guns; we'd better look after that
kitchen ire," looking at him sternly.
"Yas, seh." shivered Cato; you and
me gin'ally agrees, IL it do take some
time to come to conclushuns. "-Har-
per's Magazine.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
IT WAS HIS TREAT.
But the Countryman Would Not Take an
Advantage.

But the Countryman Would Not Take an
Advantage.
Apropos Of the passage of the Raines
BILL a good story is told Of one of the
country legislators who helped II
through. The legislator was in New
York recently for one of the many pur-
poses that so frequently call legislators
to the metropolis. A city associate got
together party of friends and under
took to show him the sights about town.
After seeing the Eden Musee, the Cen
trol Park menagerie and other objects
which are supposed to interest ccun"
trymen, the city member thought he
would try an experiment and led his
party into the Hoffman House barroom.
The country legislator did not realize
where he was going till he was safely
inside and had been lined up to the bar
with his companions.
Now. then" said his guide. what
are you going to have?"
The country legislators face fell
What are the rest of you going to
have?" he asked.
Never mind that" said the enter
tainer; you just name anything you
want. It is my treat"
What will It cost" asked the man
from the country obviously.
ANY sum from 25 cents to s5," re-
piled the other. Don't worry about the
cost"
"I'll tell you" said the countryman,
desperately; II don't drink and don't
smoke, but If you'U excuse me this time
I'll get my boots blacked here. Buff
falo Express.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
Why is 1t,

if catarrh is constitutional affection
as those claim who have blood tonic
to sell, that physicians, in extreme
cases, frequently advise change of all
and climate to those suffering from iti
Catarrh is a climatic affection, and
nothing but local remedy or a change
of climate will cure it. Ely's Cream
Balm, in all cases of catarrh, is SC
efficient as to do away with the ne
cessity of leaving home and friends,
causing instant relief and perfect
cure after short continuance.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
LAFAYETTE COMMENCEMENT.

Lafayette College at Easton sent
out SO new graduates at the 6Is,
commencement last Wednesday, the
18th instant. "Father Thomas
Thomas, the oldest living graduate,
was present, and celebrated on that
day his S4th birthday. Col. c. M.
Deringer, of the first graduating class
60 years ago who saw the corner
stone of the college laid in 1892, was
also present. Henry Green LID,
one of the judges Of the Supreme
Court of Penn. gave dinner to his
surviving class mates who graduated
50 years ago. The charming exer-
cises of the senior class day with their
mirth and music attracted an attend
ance of 1000 persons. Numerous
addresses, scholarly and interesting,
were made, of which the principal
one was by Prof Owen on " The
Liberal Courses of Study at Lafay-
ette," President Warheld held pub
lie reception, and gave an interesting
statement of the work, growth, and
prospects of the institution. Contests
for prizes in field athletics excited
great interest on the part of the rep
resentatives of many preparatory
schools. A large class will enter the
classical and technical courses in
September.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25

Father" said little Johnnie Woodle,
earnestly. what is speculation"
Mr.. Woodle, who had tried all sides
Of it with equally bad results. reflected
q moment.
Speculation, Johnnie" he then eX-
planned. lis buying a thing we don't
want at a price far above it's value.
and then selling A. al an astonishing
advance to somebody who thinks he
wants it, but don't"
And while this wasn't altogether clear
to Johnnie, he will discover. after he
grows up, that 1t was Just as the old
man said.
And he'll pay many thousand dollars
in finding it out
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25

Two Irishmen went out skating not
long since. and one Took a bottle of
whiskey with him as sort OF heart
warmer" When they decided to hit
the bottle" they found the cork was
very tight. and impossible to get out
without q corkscrew.
Cant yez get II out Moike?" said
Pat. after a few minutes of hard work
~ Mike with the cork
"fis. bsgob." said Mike. I'll git It
~t. shure. II Oi have 10 push it in
Y.Inceton Tiger
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
Remarkably Alike.

What 7 Ike about your writings"
said the thoughtful editor to the young
man in the tight fitting coat, 'is their
resemblance to Emerson's."
rs that so?' cried the delighted
young man. clasping his hands to-
gether.
The editor nodded.
May I-er--ask," timidly ventured
the young man, wherein your discern
ment and critical Judgment discover
rhss-er-resemblanc And the young
man blushed again.
Once more the thoughtful editor nod
ded
'You employ the same punctuation
marks" he said kindly.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25

"'Wall, we did want e married man
mex time. The las three teachers has
run off with gals, an thar amt enuff
gals in this hyar neighborhood now.
But l don't s'pose none of 'em would
want a lean feller like yo l don't
reckon yo' not bein' married IL make
much difference. Couldn expect sich a
poly feile- ter be married Then thar's
one thing. Me and Bill Simpkins an
Alf Toney is all gwlne ter school an
larn ter read an write. / licked Bill an
he done licked Alf so reckon the only
one ter settle with Is me. We ain
gwine ter bey no man we kin lick. Kin
yo fout?'
" I studied boxing said the stranger.
Don know nothin' bout thet Does
maxim boxes make muscle?
Try one and see,' was the cool re-
joinder
THE big mountaineer hit at the little
man, and when he regained conscious
ness had his head in the wood box and
his feet sticking up in the air
Looking about him with a dazed ex-
preston, he said:
Young feller, shake. I'll go with
yo' some day an Wen git thet school.
An say, young feller, set me ter work
on them boxes, will yo' ?'"-Washlngton
Evening Star.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
OntclaSsed,

Whats the matter with our pugi-
llsts?" said a sporting man. They
have not talked much for a day or
two" a
mo" replied the Cuban sympathizer
They have stopped TO give the Span
ish generals a chance w ashlngton
etar ,.A--A.ApaA --i ..l 81 ....a .-..s. 4..5
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25

she-What do you mean, sir, by kiss
Ing me? WhG, 10 YOU mean?
iie-Er--nothlng.
Me-Then COAT you 10 1t again. J
don't want any mau S'ssing me unless
BE- means business ss.--In6ianapolis Jour5
nal
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1896-06-25
PaIe and Thin. Rut Could FIrht.

In the mountains Of the South the
schools are still maintained upon the
subscription plan. A travelling man just
returned from that section gave a re-
porter the following account Of an ex-
animation of an applicant for school:
Il was stopping at cabin all night"
said he, "and pale, slender young
man came during the evening to talk
with my host.
I'm thinking of starting a school
here he said, and wanted to see If
Won woul1 Stihspriha