Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1896-12-03

deed, or he may find himself ssffdled
with a worthless animal.
\ The general attitude towards mar
ried people is most unfair. While
social custom tends TO facilitate, and
even TO encourage betrothals, 1t seems
deliberately devised to obstruct those
intimate friendships and opportunities
for genuine acquaintance which ought
to precede every betrothal. Then,
when the marriage takes place. which
is only suitable by good luck, and GER
tainly not by social good guidance, all
subsequent mishaps and disasters are
laid at the door of the unfortunate
pair, and more especially 1T that OF
the wife. who is reminded Of her mar
riage vows, OF thu solemnity Of the
engagement into which she entered
of the Importance OF shirt buttons, OF
the divine right of man to gluwl at
inferior entrees. 1t never seems to
occur to any one of that large public
which has FRAN led and upheld this
system of pitchforking people into
matrlmony, chat his or her stupidity
or self-indulgent tendency to make
matches, or. in other words, to make
of other peoples fortunes, can have
had anything to do with the disaster.
lit behooves everyone who takes these
matters to heart to accept his share
in the task of reforming public senti-
ment on the subject, not only Of mar
riage, but on that OF our mode of be-
Erothal.
The current notion that II Is es
pecially dishonorable for an engaged
man not to marry the girl to whom he
is affianced is one that may be blamed
FOR many an unfortunate marriage.
wherein, be 1t observed, the wife prob
ably suffers more than the husband,
though he has made the sacrifice for
her sake, or in many cases out of fear
of acting dishonorahly. Should the
slightest doubt arise IN either mind, 1t
ought to be at once frankly stated. 1t
should be held not honorable, but dis
honorable, to enter upon a lifelong
union while that doubt has been kept
secret; and 1t therefore follows that 1t
Is dishonorable and not honorable to
extract or to accept a promise from a
person to commit such a wrong. Thus
the conclusion becomes unavoidable
that a promise of marriage Is in itself
wrong either to demand or to give.
The effect of regarding betrothal in
this manner would be to give addi-
tional safeguards for the happiness
and dignity of married life: for to
make a promise to marry, possibly
against the better Judgment, is in it,
self to treat marriage with disrespeoi,
ard to detract from the reverence due
to a promise which should ever be
held sacro sanct. Assuredly it is not
to loosen or relax the sense of honor
In holding to ones word that | protest
against giving a marriage promise; on
the contrary, am DESTROYS to increase
the binding force of the word OF
honor once given. But If given word
is thus sacred, clearly it may not be
denounced or demanded lightly, and
never when by any possibility its full
fillment would itself be dishonorable.
Moreover, NO bond is needed, If,
after proper opportunities for judging,
the mind remains unchanged, Whereas
If the desire arises to break the pledge,
it is clear that 1t ought not to have
been given, and no one ought to insist
upon its fulfillplent, And, to face the
matter point-blank, Is it not astonish-
ing that any one can be found who
would accept promise of marriage,
seeing that it implies a readiness to
face the possibility Of being married
to a person against his or her inclina-
ton? Among the many who without
thinking do give the extract such
promises, there are probably very few
who would be so mean-spirited as to
accept the situation knowingly. But
what an extraordinary confusion OF
thought it implies, that they neverthe-
less continue to exchange these vows
There is, | believe, already some
change in the tendency of sentiment
among the younger generation, and 1t
lies in the power of each individual to
strengthen that tendency by deliberate
effort. The mere expression of opins-
ion does more than most of us realize
to add to the force which Is molding
the lives Of our fellows. TO try is at
least partly to achieve, and in all ef-
forts of individuals TO move what
seems a hopeless weight of contrary
opinion we may take to heart tine the
Scottish adage, "Bode goun d gowd,
and yen aye get thu Sieve OF" TRY
and you'll get something CT what You
try for.) ] am, sir, your obedient SER
want. Mona Card.
EIGIfpEG