davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times., 1896-05-21
RESTRICTION OF IMMIGRATION

The bill passed by the House of Represent
Iect the restriction of foreign immigra-
ton, viii hardly commend itself III oil
respects as likely to solve this important
question satisfactorily. So far as it pro-
poses to add Safeguards against the
importation Of contract labor, especially
such as flows across the Canadian bortl-
crs, it would meet appreciation, but the
educational test provided for is not cal
culated to mend matters. Ii is alto
gelhcr crude and Will not serve as an
effective barrier against 4 large plumber
Of undesirable foreigners. The test cannot
be made thorough enough to determine
the relative intelligence or illileracy OF
the woulG-be Immigrant, aud would prob
ably not be fairly aui impartially admin
iStered IN all cases.
1t is to be reeTIIted that the sentiment
OF the House was opposed to the Stone
bill, the operation of which is much more
likely to accomplishh the desired end than
the one passed by the House. The Stone
bill proposes TO have the sitting process
go on at the port OF crubarkatiun, ard TO
prevent the passage OF any person regard
ing whom the consHls of the United States
cannot DC furnished with satisfactory cyi-
dcnce of good character and intelligence.
The evidence obtained by the immigration
commission shows decided opposition TO
the unrestricted influx OF foreigners. twelve
States having responded that they want
no immigration at all, while fourteen want
only the very best classes of immigrants.
1t would seem that in Il great measure the
wishes of the individual States ought to be
respected, and if their ascertained prefer
cnces are to serve a guide In legislation
the Stone bil! is much morelikely to produce
the desired effect than anything else that
has been suggested up to this time.
1t is not probable, of course, that tll>
House bill will be acted upon by the
Senate at this session, and when it is
taken up it viii hardly be permitted
to retain its present form.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
CRUSHED AGAIN.

The Senate has given the District trioc-
racy another biack eye, and this legis:a-
tive pugiiism has caused great jubiIation
among the farmers at the Center Market
whom the Commissioners, for reasons best
known to themselves, but not known TO
anybody else, tried to crowd away from
there, against the protests of the market
company, the farmers and tie public, and
in violation of a practice as OLD almost as
the city itself. The controversy on this
subject, as the readers OF The Times know.
has been carried on for months before the
Senate District Committee, which not only
heard voluminous statements on all sides
of the question, but undertook a personal
investigation of all the facts and ante
cedent history. 1t resulted in a report with
which everybody is pleased, save the trio
Gratis.
This episode gives fair illustration OF
the high-handcd and utterly irresponsible
manner in which the Commissioners do
business. There was no reason whatever
for their disturbing the farmers and truck
gardeners, unless it was something only
known 10 themselves The market Com
pany had not complained, nobody else had
Gone SO. The farmers protested that their
business would be seriously injured, and
the people who have been in the habit
OF dealing with them objected to being
compelled to go two blocks out of their
way just TO crafty triocratic whim.
Moreover, the Washington Market Conn
pany declared that the Commissioners were
trying to build up Il rival market-ror whose
benefit has not been made apparent thus
far.
10 spite of all remons:rances the auto
Gratis at the District Building insisted upon
having their way and nothing less than
Congressional action sustained and sup
ported by Executive approval was able
to check them. Next!
The evening times., 1896-05-21
EVER NEW AND FRESH.
Funny How Many Originate the Joke
About BreakiBg the Camera.


Il hope l didn't lIeak the glass IN the
camerd," she smpere,i. az th, Photographer
bowed her out OF the door
Then he went over 70 h!s desk and picked
up Il little book that was nlled with ng-
ures. ''seveuty-thrce thousand eicur hun
drcd aud sixty-four." he said. in an Under
breath, as he made an entry.
The door opened aEGin, and a breezy
young man, aItsscd IN his hest, ana ueep-
ing over tic corners OF collar th5t iust
escaped the coruer> Of his mouth, entered.
Il thought l would come IL and sit Tor
some pictures, II you have Il camera that
you think VIII stand the racket
Certainly, certainly said the photog-
raphcr. sit down Il moment" and then
hc went over and maGe another entry IN
the little hook, mGrmuriug ''Sevcnty-three
thousand eight hundred ana sixty-fve"
When this negative was secured ana the
chappic started out, he laughed and re-
marked that he hoped he didn't break tie
camera"
Ion, no. said the photographer. grave
ly- And then he made another entry m the
little book, and nodded ut each syllable
as he pronounced ''Seventy-three thousand
eight hundred and sixty-sx"
''1hayc been at this business about twenty
years. be remarked to the reporter.
Ten years ago | commenced to keep
record OF the instances upon which should
hear the alleged joke about brea king the
glass i'll the camera repeated. The last time
the gentleman who just left repeated it
made the scveuty-third thousand eight hun
dred and sixty sixth Had he remained
few minutes longer be " orld Doubtless have
sprung it two or three more times
1T is the commonest so-Ca!led Joke in
the world. Next to Is this hot enough for
vou?' or is this cold enough Tor you?' it
is one of the oommonest expressions. The
old and wise, young anG foolish, bonely,
handsome, plain. pretty. fct. 'ean. tall, or
Short-cverybody that can ta!k-seem to
think it is a bTandncw joke. and they are
so delighted with it that they sometimes
roll the chestnut around five or six times
in visit here of half an hour ! expect
to reach u hundred thousand before the
commencement season is over this year. for
pretty schoolgirls. who are more liable to
break heart than anything else, think ii
great fun to accuse each ether ard warn
me about danger TO the camera when their
pretty faces are posed in front of it,
The evening times., 1896-05-21
POLICEMEN ON DETAIL.

friend of The Times calls attention
frequently and at length, but which loses
neither force nor interest by iteration,
and that is the weakening OF the police
force by detailing from ten to twelve
per cent OF it To do duty at the White
House, the Presidents country residence.
police headquarters and police court. Our
correspondent, who appears to have i'll
formed himself pretty accurately, aud who
declares that he never was, is not, nor
ever will be, an applicant for position
on the force, declares that the majority of
sixty officers detailed for duty other than
that properly assignablc to policemen, are
able bodied young men, whose places
might in some cases lie properly taken by
Others farther advanced in years, and should
be supplied, in Others, by watchmen ap-
pointed for that specific purpose. He
suggests that if the President needs Il body
guard Il Detail of soldiers might be made,
as he is couimauderin-cbiefo OF the army
and navy.
This last suggestion is not bad one.
The soldiers and the marines quartered
at different points in and about Wash
ington are not needed for any work save
drilling and mounting guard, and de-
tail OF forty OF these at the White House
would give them useful and agreea bic en-
ployinent, while assuring the bodily safety
of the Chief Magistrate. No doubt they
could stand or sit or walk about as well
and look as handsome-perbaps-a the
same number of the "finest,' and the
latter could then more firmly grasp their
baton and become a terror to evil-doers,
instead of grinning at rural visitors or
jollying an accidental crank. In :he po-
lice court the places OF the policemen
should be taken either by superannuated
men, or by properly appointed bailiffs,
and the same could be done at police
headquarters.
If the large number of officers now de-
tailed for various kinds OF duty could he
Withdrawn and restored to their proper
sphere OF action, they, together with the
sevcnty-five TO be appointed at the be-
ginning of the next fiscal year, under the
bill, would form n material addition to
the active force. 1t would be about 20
per cent more than is now available for
patrol duty, and would greatly increase
the security of persons and property in all
parts of the District.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
(Tis seldom the good fortune of Wash.

I T is seldom the good fortune of Wash
l ingtonians to look on a real tiger
hunter, at least right under the shadow
Of the Monument. Such was the pleasure
of a few friends of Major Howard G.
stopped over at the Arlington Il few hours
'ast evening on his way To Chicago, where
ne goes in the interest O; private business
matters. Major Addison has spent many
years in the Orient, his las, return from
the center Of India being but few months
ago. He fitted out an extensive party
and hunted tigers while in India.
OF course the hunters rode on elephants,
and the finest Of rifles and other weapons
were used TO fight tie savage game. The
major is splendid shot. He was hunting
one day in the province OF Bombay, he
-aid, when he scaled large stone TO get
out Of the way OF an infuriated tiger that
had been scared from the iungles by the
natives. In his frs, attempt to get out OF
he way he was successful, but the large
stone was little protection aCainst the
mad brute. With single spring the tiger
could leap TO the top OF il. and that was
MS evidept intention.
The-e vas no bali in the MAJORS rifle
ani no time then to puc IN neT cartridge.
The bayonet was fortunately in place With
iIe spring OF the animal Ma Iur Addison
hastily threw his rifle before him and
planted the butt against the rock. Tie
move was periiuus bur a fortunate one.
The sharp bayoaa- caught the beast square,
y IN the breast, VITA Il powerful era sh
he tiger came DOWN uu the end OF the
Weapon that penetrated far into his body
The stock OF the rifle was broken aud
he king of the luHgIes gave terrific roar
1S he rolled back of the huge staae At
-he same time Major Addison slipped
rom the other side of the rock. and the
= !gcr, with the barouet still sticking IN
his breIS-. made toward him. The natives
o-,unate.y appeared at this time and
killed [ he beast. 1t was the closest call
" all my long experience in hunting
'igcrS." said Major addison, as he CO.
Guided the story.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Why He Took the Seventh.

In an Edinburgh school an Inspector, wish
ing to test the knowledge OF 4 class i'm
fractions, asked Que boy whether he would
rather take a sixth or seventh mart of
an orange if he got his choice The bow
promptly replied that he would take the
seventh. At this the inspector explained
at length to the class that the boy who
would choose the smaller part, as this hov
had done. because it locked the larger rrac.
tion, was very foolish: but the laugh was
ON the other side when the ciirping voice
OF an urchiu broke in in renOnstrance:
please. sir, but that boy disna like
oranges" Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The evening times., 1896-05-21

~ FUNNY incident is related of Joe
MsnieyS recent visit to Washing
ton. He was here TO participate in
he deliberations OF the National Eepuh-
lean Committee and was employing his
elslire time IN plotting some friends through
he Capitol. He reached the room of the
vice President. where young Mr.. Steven
son was occupied with some Official pa
pers, and that gentleman was viSibiy dis
,urbed, so much so that he called Mr. Man
.ey to one side and informed him that You
guides should always rap on the door be-
fore entering this room" Mr.. Stevenson
was enlightened by sudden explanation.
and lie had the grace to withdraw his OBJ
Jections. hut the face OF the Maine boss
wore troubled expression for the next
several hours.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Book Department

3 sets shakespeare's Complete Works,
vols, cloth, large type. Published at
s. 90. . e. .. =. :. e. =. 81 -
sets Plutarch's Lives nf IlluSJriIus Men.
3 vols, clo.h, large type. Published at
S3.25.. :. =. :. .-9sc
lot Books Of all kind OF literature.
slightly shop worn. Published from SIC
20 Sl-oO-. .-iIC
$40 All-clcth Bound Books, by popular
authors, such as Stanley Weyman, Conan
DOYLE, the Duchess anI Charlotte Breamc-
Universal Encyclopaedia Dictionaries,
unabridged. complete in one vol, at 81 10
20 Art Albums containing les engrav-
;nes.. :. :. E. e. E. E. :. =. :. .35c
lot Baum : Cook Books. :. :. E. SC
Selections of all popular Sheet Music. &c
Fine Stationery ani Fancy Goods at half
price.
The evening times., 1896-05-21

THE TINES Circulation, whether
considered as a whole, or to that
known as street sales, or to the num-
ber of copies delivered TO families, is
greater than any other paper in
Washington.
The TIMES builds. 1t has built a
sound, staying, substantial circula-
tion, more than One-third greater
than any other paper in the District
of Columbia. II is a busiEes5-builder
for the scores of merchants who are
its daily patrons. Circulation books
open to all.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Feebleness of savage Nh,

Here IN South Africa the native races
Seem to have made no progress for centu-
ries, If, indeed, they have not actually gone
backward, and the feebleness of savage man
intensilies ones sense OF the overmaster-
Ing strength of nature. The elephant and
the rhinoceros and the giraffe are as much
the masters of the soil as is the Kafir and
man has no more right 10 claim that the
land was made for him than have the wild
beasts of-the forest who roar after their
prey and seek their meat from Cod centu-
ry Maga zine.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
NO EXTRA CHARGE.

Parties leaving the city
for the summer months may
have THE TINES mailed to
any address in this country
at the regular subscription
price.
Have THE TINES follow
you wherever you go and
keep informed as to Wash
ington news.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
The Irish man Was Grateful.

A capital story is told OF how Daniel
O'Conuell received the grateful blessing Of
an Irishman. During the course OF his cir
cu;t in Ireland he was able to secure the
liberation of young son of Erin who had
been charged with some offeuss or other.
on a second turn round the country O'Con-
neil again saved the Iris,lman from the arm
of the law. The prisoner, overwhelmingly
grateful. went up To the advocate, shook
MIN by the hand, and in the fullless OF his
heart, exclaimed: And NAV the Lord save
We to defend me always, Mr.. O'Connell"
-Phila adelphia Public Ledger.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
& Comparison.
In days of Old when knights were bold,

IN days of Old when knights were bold,
Aud chivalry was power;
maiden's plea was modesty-
1t was her cherished dover.
IN modern days maiden's ways,
From diffidencc are free;
She comes and goes in modern clothes-
Forsooth! her legacy.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Like His Xhiskera.

~ see Senator Peffer has been trying
his hand at poetry"
Yes: his verses have Characteristic
style to them, too"
what is it?''
sort of a long. flowing air"
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Why He Want

II hear that the only emotion Fizzle's
client showed before he went to the gal
ows was on parting with Fizzle. l am
told that he actually wept."
Yep. He said that if he only had a
chance ~ kill FizZle for the way he man
aged his defense he wouldn't mind the
mere incident Of being hanged. '-Indian-
apolis Journal.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
HEARpn,sn, IN

~ T begins to lock as though the effigy
business is q thing OF the past"
humorously remarked Charles II.
Searles, a u insurance man from Milwaukee,
at Wizards. There is quite an extensive
street railway strike on in cur city at the
present time. or course there are signs on
all sides of more or less animosity TO the
railway maGnates and to the scabs.
"A saloon keeper on the south side of
the city has varied the old program OF
making a rag man and suspending him
from the limb OF a tree as Kindergarten
teaching to those in the flesh by preparing
an elcctrocution chair. He has the death
chair on Il stand Ill the back room of his
bar. The arrangement is fixed up with a
mock battery, coils aud SO on To give IL a
more realistic appe earance. In the chair
sits dummy with the black cap drawn
over that part of his anatcmy that would
be the face II exposed. Beside the chair is
an empty coffin and to add to the uncGnny
sight the room is left in a dimly-lighteG-
condition. A placard says: 'Scabs ex-
ecuted.'"
The evening times., 1896-05-21
His Early Training,

$50 You are the india rubber man, are
you?" said Uncle Hiram Teeters to the
dime museum exhibit.
.'Yes. SIR
How did you happen to think you could
be an india rubber man,
when ] was young, everybody said 1
was bouncing boy."-Detroit Free Press.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
A Sh ow ou Wheels.

81 think women who ride bicycles are
sights" said the girl whose attitude
toward female bikcrs was her distinguish
ing trait. THE world seems daft on
Wheels
Yes" concurred the man whose wife
rides, this world is all flee citing show.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Ladies' Underwear.

9 pairs Fast ack Lise Thread Union
Suits. Value 81
% pairs Boys Jean Ora wers. small sizes,
EG,
As Ladies Woven Corset Covers. Value.
'ttI -'t
Is doZ. Ladies' Fast Black Best Lisie
Hose. Value, Observation-Disclosures.
lot Fast Black Best Quality Infants
Hose. Value, zoe.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
OTDfOUSLY. THOUGHT
" HUnOROUS
The Humorous Phase.

DEATH" said the man who occasionally
writes for the papers, ''is, OF course, dread
fully solemn. and yet it is not without its
humorous phase
What is that" asked the man with
the side whiskers.
Obituary poetry"
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Cloak & Suit Department

Ladies' PerceIe Waists. Numbered col
lars and cuffs. Value, 6Sc..........-.3Sc
1 lot Of ChiIdren's GIugham Dresses.
Value, 7oC.- e. 45c
/ lot "f Lawn aud Percale Wrappers
Value, gSc :. :. =. :. =. ..43c
1 lot Boys French Flannel Shirt Waists.
value, roc. . E. :. E. :. :. =. :. :. 3sc
The evening times., 1896-05-21
EaturallY.

She tquoting books are to be
tasted. others to be swallowed and some
few To be Chewed and digested."
He-fhe author OF that, Of course, referred
70 his own books.
She Why?
He Because he was Bacon.
The evening times., 1896-05-21

n I OF the least idea OF the difficulties
of the members OF State deeEa-
tions to the national Presidential
conventions is the preparation or some gen.
eral insignia that will marx each Gelega-
ton from every other. Probably the st
elaborate completed arrangements re those
of the California delegates 10 the Repuiili-
can convention. Every man in the dee-
CATION VIII he made as happy and as COM
Portable as any Traveller may hope to be-
said +. =. Bruce, of San Francisco. at the
National this morning. They VIII doubt
ess ali feel proud. too, Of the manner in
which tEeir delegation VIII compare with
those from other States. Every man is
20 have a distinctive summer dress, a
badge typical OF the Golden State, and a
cane cut from an orange grove. All the
delegates will wear white stra W hats and
russell shoes 1t will he as exclusive a
crowd as any that viii be in St Louis next
month A special train with sleepers.
baggage, dining and composite cars will
carry them. The latter car viii be fitted
up with a reading and smoking room and
barber shop. 1t VIII be a fine thing to be
4 delegate from the State Of California,
assure YOU
The evening times., 1896-05-21
EIlfOkE G! The news
--.N The E0aklHG Tines.

If you miss any news In the evening
edition look IN the list below. What
you're locking for was prUbab bly, pub
lisLed In this mornings edition, and
us The Times never repeats you'll
have 10 take both editions to get all
the news as quick AS II happens.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Possibly.

a modern historian. WHO has given the
subject much time and attention. express
ses 1t as his belief that the Roman senator
who called upon the populace to lend him
their ears was out of hearing.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Reas5n Enough.

First Thespian-Why do you always play
your own tragedy during Easter wees?
Second Thespian--Sir, ! lave knowneggs
during that week TO be as high as 90
cents u dozen.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
An Observation.

1.-THE man who is allurs Iookin' fer er
sof' snap." said Uncle Rasbury, mos
gen'raly doan find much time fer dOin'
enyt'ing else"
The evening times., 1896-05-21
BAUN['S
AI6SeVenth Street
They're Surprising
-our qualities and our prices. Every
body else asks more.
SAKS & COMPANY,
Pa Ave and 9Th ST Saks' Corner"

as ofriceholder. 1t giyes him a taste he
cannot often get rid OF. and often lets him
CONTINUE in rut that he never leaves.
The abolition OF civil service on such an
extensive scale would be as much or more
henefit to the man in Office as 1t would
to the man out or office, especially To the
young man, who has his LIES career be-
fore him."
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Ninety Days the Limit.

New Guest( in Okalaho;na hoteD-How
long have you been here?
Old Guest-Eighty-n -nine days.
New Guest-What time tomorrow do you
leave?
The evening times., 1896-05-21
His Cup Is Full.

'Can you cook, dearest." he asked in a
moment of dreamy abandon.
mo. and ] never intend to learn" she
soulfully answered.
Darling. you make me too happyr' he
murlnured- -blssfully.-Detroit Free Press.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
His Remaining Hope.

Never satisfied was he,
Until he was married;
Since when he vows he'll never be
Until he's buried.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
CABIN JOHN HOTEL

is within easy reach.
Electric cars run out to
Cabin John Bridge. 'Tis a
favorite run for bicyclists-
a magnificent road, charm
ing scenery, and a frst-class
hotel to breakfast. lunch or
dine at. An excellent cui-
sine-terms very reasonable
Phone 900.
B0BBINGER BROS, Proprietors.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
There Are others.

sGuibbs-Poetry comes very easily to me-
Gibhs-Yes. it tDesto me, too, whea
.nclose return postage
The evening times., 1896-05-21

eeNNE of the most fortunate things that
~ has :-et occurred for Major Mckin-
iey's candidacy" said an Ohioan
his morning, lis the letter Thomas c.
Platt has circulated containing his 'obiec-
tions to the eX-sovernor's nomination.
1T is very evident that the true OBJ
lection is that Mckinley will refuse PIatt
aud his fellow bosses the disposal of the
fat official patronage in their States. they,
Of course, wanting the ron's share This
fact develops the contest into a fight be-
tween the Republican voters Of the country,
and the State bosses OF Platt's kind. The
latter are STRIVING to defeat Mckinley be-
cause he will not promise them all the spoils
Of office. Platt aud his bosses are sure to
be defeated by the nomination Of Mckinley
and the promoters Of such tactics should be
aumiiated."
The evening times., 1896-05-21
Window Screens.

To close out we sell them at half price.
Summer Fortieres, silk striped, at half
price.
"a pairs Lace Curtains at half price.
Flower Pots, our own Importation, at
half price.
The evening times., 1896-05-21

ELSIE'S SLAYER To HANG
Ford VIII Pay the Fun Penalty Of His
Awful Crime.
The evening times., 1896-05-21
nI AN in the main in favor of civil serv

HI AM in the main in favor of civil serv-
ice remarked William A. Jones.
one OF Chicago's assistant city en-
gineers at the Arlington, but it seems that
the strong desire TO extend tie bonnda res
of civil service never struck Mr. Cleveland
real forcihly until he had been in office
long enough to put the adherents of his own
party into nice, fat positions
1T is a little hard to see, however. the
extreme merit i'll continuing ones own
appo!atees in office indefinitely. Many n
man has been spoiled by getting a place