davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
HUMOROUS.

Shelf suppose you know, Char
ley, that this is leap year?" He-"This
is rather sudden, but never mind; I'll
be a brother to you, and let it go al
that."-Boston Transcript.
by jove! I left my pocketboos
under my pillow!" "oh, well, your
servant is honest, isn't she?" That's
Just it-she'n take it right up to my
wife!"-Philadelphia Telegram.
Much Admired.-"Your daughter
has had a great many admirers" "Oh.
yes; she puts nearly all her window
curtains on the rods with her old en-
gagement rings."-Chicago Record.
-"Ah, me-" inspired the poet, as he
finished 4 sonnet to his mistress eye
brow, what would be the condition OF
a country without women?" Stag na-
tion," softly responded the humorist.-
Boston Courier.
-Grace-"I must refuse him, poor
fellow, but I wish I could do some-
thing to lessen the pain of it." Maud
Get some one to tell him that you
haven't as much money as he thinks
you have."-Brooklyn Life.
-Magistrate-"Why didn't you an
swer to your name?" Nagrant-"Beg
pardon, jedge. but 1 forgot wot name
l gave las night" MISUNDERSTANDING
you give your own name?" Vagrant-
NO, jedge; I'm travelin' incog.'-Tit
Bits.
The Explorers Difficulty.-'To my
mind" remarked Squildig, "Nansen's
greatest difficulty is not finding the
north pole" What is Nansen's great-
est difficulty" asked McSwilligen.
Finding his way back home."-Pitts-
burgh Chronicle.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

A law suit to recover pew rent WIS
brought recently by a church in Saco,
Me.
1t is interesting to note tha: among
the Cambridge opponents to women's
degrees is DIR. Z. W. Hobson, who
coached Miss Fawcett.
Armenia is not a thoroughly Chris
tan country, as is generally believed.
Out of a population of 3,510,205 nearly
flve-sixths are Mohammedan, the en-
act number being %2,9OO,414, to only
COG, 791 Christians.
The little Wallace children, the
grandchildren of Chief Justice Fuller,
the little daughter of Gen. and Mrs.
Draper and The children of Private
Secretary and Mrs. Thurber are among
the pupils OF the kindergarten at the
white house.
The Boston Pilot (Roman Catholic)
quotes and indorses the following dec
laration recently made by a Catholic
convert from the Episcopal church:
whoever want to stop the steady
stream of conversions to Catholicity
will have to close every Episcopal
church in the country"
Prof. Colvin Thomas. of the Uni
versity of Michigan, has been appoint
ed professor of German languages and
literature at Columbia, to succeed TIE
late Prof. Boyesen. Prof. Thomas is
at present in Weimar, Germany, en-
gagged on an edition of the second part
of Faust.
BY the death of Mrs. Mary Gibson
the Pennsylvania academy of fine arts
will receive n collection of paintings
valued at 100000. The majority Of
them are by French artists belonging
to the period which marked the re-
vival of romanticism in hat country,
and this is just the period of which the
academy has few examples.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09

the Burr place, and if he did that
their town if the women did not make
It too uncomfortable for his family.
What if We write an anonymous let
ter 10 Mrs. Sloane and tell her we have
some sense and don't need to be invited
to see her in boomers" said one of the
afternoon visitors.
Grandma Somers. a lady of the CID
school. sat in her corner mending, and
calm as Il June day. Nobody remem-
bered to have ever seen her stirred up.
In the civil war days, when there vera
war meetings and people were excited,
She would say: oh, this is nothing
like the time Of the great alarm" He"
memory went back to that time. She
seldom Joined in the conversation when
the neighbors gathered in, but now size
raised her head from her work and
said:
You better go 10 Mrs. SlOane's to-
night. and decide afterward about your
letters. Long ago as when was a girl,
an anonymous letter was considered Il
mar VI ill-DlNNhlbS- L ~ L hliOA
what people think about them nova
days; did not know but they were a
lost art"
Evening came, and they did all go TO
Mrs. Sloane's, and she had a beautiful
"night-blooming cereus' to show them.
1t seemed that in the morning she fest
sure that the plant would blossom that
night, and she told her coachman 10
get word around TO have anyone come
to see it who wished to do so. The
coachman saw Martha Shafer, and
thought it would save him all the both
er if he told her to tell the people.
Nobody could ever make out how
"night-blooming cereus" could sound
like dressed in boomers tonight"
but the party concluded to be friends
with Mrs. Sloane, if she would let them,
from that time forth.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
EDUCATING THE CHILDREN.
Tho High-Pressure Plan Is Full Of
Danger.

There are many people who seem to
fancy that if children do not come
home from school with their arms full
OF books, and with 4 and
thoughtful expression on their faces,
they are not learning anything. Their
gauge of progress seems TO be built on a
high-pressure plan, and they entertain
very serious doubts about the POSSIBLE
ity of any royal road to learning.
This being the case. it is not at all sur
prising that teachers and school boards
should indulge in various examining
and crowdirgmethods, and should make
aneffort I opush the children forward as
rapidly as possible. Indeed. they must
10 this TO earn their money. so TO speak.
The injury done by this course is past
computation; children are overtaXcd
and become worn out, frPtful and irrit-
able. They do not advance as fast as
they ought to, indeed, it is impossible
for them TO do so. Then there is more
fretting and worrying on the part of
parents and teachers. and with the most
disastrous results.
Children break down, become dis
2ouraged and in]attentive; their minds
are incapable of grasping the enormous
mount of material that is put before
them. and the inevitable reaction sets
N. Instead OF making learning inter-
asting and engaging their attention
and enthusiasm, they are made into
mere machines and pushed to their ut
most, even though, as is often the case,
the teachers know it to be a hopeless
struggle.
An experienced instructor has said
that a child Will learn about five times
as much when the studies are made
pleasant and agreeable, and thisamo.int
Will be increased if anything like en-
thusiaSm al be awakened. Admitting
that this is true, it is the most welri-
some and thankless of tasks to force
upon Young children such a compre-
lensive course of study as hat laid
down in some of our public schools.
The drill and monotOny of hard work
are inevitable, but Il iudicious and we'll
selected teacher will cnthuse the pu-
pills either on the subject of their books
or give an incentive in the way of pro-
motions and preferences that is GER
tain to have Il most happy effect on the
minds of little ones.
1t is the height of absurdity to see
children of II or u years studying
philosophy and similar branches.
There is time enough for this when
they nave reached the ages of 10 or 1G.
Fundamental physiological truths
should be taught TO erery child while
in its cradle, and should be followed by
the few important facts necessary for
it TO know, until it has reached at least
years of incipient discretion.-N. y.
Ledger.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
CURIOUS RUSSIAN RITES.
The Babe and the Church-Extreme Unc-
ion-PraYers for the Dead.

The Babe and the Church-Extreme inc
tiou-Prayers for the Dead.
All Russian babies are anointed after
Il triple immersion in the font, this
Icing equivalent 10 the confirmation Ill
Anglican churches. The baby's eyes
are anointed and the feet. After this
the baby is brought often to holy COM
munion, which is administered to it
with a spoon. But Il child does o go
to confession before it is seven years
old.
When a Russian Christian dies he is
dressed in the costume of his calling,
as the late emperor was dressed in the
uniform of an infantry regiment. The
costume of a mans profession is chosen
to clothe his corpse because every maj
is held to direct account for his plain
duties in the present life and his call
ing therein.
The late emperor when dying IT.
ceivedeNtreme JUNCTION. This is dreaded
for young people. as ii is generally be
licved that if Il person receives extreme
JUNCTION and RECEIVERS he can never
thereafter eat or marry. The service
consists in administering the sacra-
ment: after this a vessel filled with
dry grain, symbolic of Il withered in
valid, is placed in sight of the sick
person on Il table; the invalid is anoint-
ed seven times on the brow, cheeks,
I-Ostrils. mouth. breast and hands with
oil mingled with red wine. in commem-
GRAFTON of the way in which the good
Samaritan poured oil and wine in the
wounds of the man who fell among
thieves.
From the moment of death until the
burial on the third day the pSalter is
read constantly owe the corpse. Serv
ices are held for the soul of the de
parted on the ninth, twentieth and
fortieth days after the death of a per-
son.
At the funeral the body is accom-
panied on foot by the male relatives
and friends and by torches, the road
being strewn with evergreen, which is
4 symbol of hope of eternal life for the
1PDarted
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09

ague before night if you want the honoa
of paying a visit"
What nnw?" asked pa.
Martha Shafer stopped here going 10
her work in the tailor shop, and said
that she had been directed to ask all the
neighbors to go TO Mrs. Sloane's to-
night; We should call round any time
convenient; hat We were 70 see Mrs.
Sloane in bloomer dress"
Aunt Lois explained to Cousin Liza
that Mrs. Sloane was a big. heshy wonl-
an, and would look about as graceful as
a cow in boomers.
PITY, isn't it, such people don't have
some work TO do, 50 they wouldn't make
themselves so ridiculous getting up
things" IA another of Ma Somers'
wise sayings. as she added more and
o to her store of baking.
In the afternoon the neighbors
dropped in to Mrs. Somers' as a sort of
headquarters. and talked over the whole
question of dress, and of city people
thinking country people did not know
anything.
They decided they would rot go neal
the house.
Did you hear the joke on Mrs.
Sloane?" asked one of the nei"hbors.
NO. what was it," all exclaimed.
We'll, she was at the Corners, and
asked if there was a library here. Joe
Green, of course, was on hand, and he
said yes, he believed there was, and that
it was in charge of the cobbler, over the
way"
Mr.. Forbes, the cobbler, told the rest
of the story the other day. He said she
came and asked rim. and he said he
reckoned there were some books in the
cellar. Seems the old library that was
started and failed was moved around
to get it out of the way, until ii was
put in the cellar there of the old house
where he has his shop. He got 4 candle
and told her to come on in the cellar
and not fall over the old stairs. and then
he put his hand into m old cheese safe
and hauled opt two mustv books-the
Life of Washington and Life Among
the Mormcns.' And will you believe it!
she took home Life Among the Nor
mons What did she want Of that, do
you think"
Mrs. Somers suggested that Mrs.
Sloane just wanted to see what they had
there, and by and by would make out
they were sort of heather.
Pa Somers tried to quiet the jargon
by saying that the city lady seemed
very kind and nice to him.
Eut he was silenced by a volley OF
words from his wife, who said that
Martha Shafer and pa seemed to be
champions of the new people, and must
be expected to pay for their trouble.
However. pa ventured one more to
say that Mr.. Sloane talked of buying
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
WHITE AND BLACK cRAvATs.
In Former Times They Were Badges of
the Wearer's Profession.

In Former Times They Were Badges of
the Wearer's Profession.
Years ago the white tie in this coun-
try was the characteristic wear of the
reverend clergy, their monopoly.
Thence it passed into general use and
disputed popularity with the black.
The black neckcloth was early in this
century likewise 4 professional badge.
Those who followed the profession of
arms claimed the right to wear it as
their monopoly and sometimes en-
forced that right. Cooper in Wing
and-Wing' makes a very dramatic use
of this custom. \ French privateer
captain in disguise has fallen into She
hands of the English and is brought
before a court-martial. So skillfully
does he stick to his assumed character
of n fisherman that his judges are puz-
Zled until one of his accusers suddenly
places around the prisoners throat the
black necktie which all officers wore.
Then his true character blazes forth
and he is condemned, but escapes eX-
ecution to die, sword in hand. Cooper
knew what he was writing about, for
he, too, had been an officer.
Military and naval men wore black
cravats when in plain clothes and
civilians aped them until black be-
came the only wear. Before the rise
of the black cravat carelessly tied
white lace, the Steenkirk, had been in
vogue for neckwear. Its popularity
likewise was q civilian tribute to mill
tary valor. At the battle of Steenkirk
the French royal guards, the house
hold troops, being suddenly called
from their tents to meet the oncoming
English, had no time to tie their rich
lace cravats with their accustomed
neatness and loosely knotted them
about their threats. They were the
dandies of Europe, the perfect pinks of
military propriety, and were CORES
pondingly brave. They did up the
English in about one round and hence
forward the Steenkirk cravat was the
fashion. and the more carelessly it was
knotted the more Steenkirky it was.
AS white is now the color OF peace
may not the psychologists be justified
IN hailing snowy cravats as evidences
of mans recognition that peace hath
her victories not less fashionable than
those of war and as worthy of being
commcmorated at the neck?- Boston
Transcript.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
MRS. SL0ANE'S PARTY.
BY MARY JOSLYN SMITH.

It was on the morning of the 18th Of
August that there was 4 great chatter
ing in the Somers' kitchen-all about
the city folks that had taken the Burr
place for the summer. The Somers'
kitchen was a wonderful place. Mr..
and Mrs. Somers always called each
other pa and ma.
This particular morning pa lid mo-
feel very well, was threatened with
-ayue and -hilis, and sat in the kitchen
as near the stove as ma would let him.
considering it was one Of her bake days.
They did their own work, but then
there was d regular slew of women
folks in the house.
Mrs. Somers made the fried cakes, for
in that hous they had fried cakes sum
mer and winter. Then she made apple
pies and Lawton blackberry pies that
morning, getting the fruit all from
their own place. Cousin Liza was
ing her summer visit there, and when
she came she made soft ginger cake.
They had her recipe written in a book,
with all the particulars, but no one
could make cake with just the tremble
and the shake that Cousin Liza could.
The recipe was plain:
Two eggs; butter the size of an egg:
tablespoon of ginger; cloves; CHINA
mon; nutmeg to taste; a cup of dark
mOlasses; a cup OF brown sugar; good
bowl of sour milk, with dessertSpOOn
Of soda and flour to make Il thin dough.
Cousin Liza said maybe the flour
business made the trouble; some peO-
pie put so much in that it made 4 stiff
cake, or so little that it would fall fiat
as a pancake in the big dripping pan in
which it was to be baked. Or it might
be the oven, for it needed a good deal
OF Judgment about the oven.
The pitcher of saltrising emptings
was in a pail of warm water upon the
high oven, and soon after dinner that
would huff up and be made into ~loaves,
,and what white bread it was. Pa had
dyspepsia, and thought he could eat
40 other bread.
Aunt Lois lived there, too, ard she
was a martyr to the dishwashing on
those important days.
She started in promptly after break
last 10 WASH ulSleS, anu llCIt Ntulu Dt
an additional pyramid from the bak-
ing department every now and then,
until at half-past II she sometimes saw
the thickest of them cleared away.
Mrs. Somers' daughter Jane was put
ting the house to rights. and after u 1T
tie would come to iron with the baking
fire. for firewood was never wasted in
that house.
The three sons were up on the farm.
a mile away, tending to the hay and
mending the fence, and ut noon would
come down, hungry rs sharks, in view
of which n big kettle OF hoiled ~victuals
was being prepared; but with all the
work, there was n babel of talking.
Cousin Liza did not know anything
about the newcomer from the city. so
everything had to be explained 10 her.
PA, how many calves did you say had
TO be killed by the butchers in the two
Villages when the Sloanes were getting
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
THE GRINNING SAURIAN.
Habits of the Nile Crocodile-Worshiped
as a God.

As u OOus
As a songster the crocodile is not
to be compared TO the bulbul. but he
car without any eXertion, hold his own
in that respect with the bull. Like the
latter he bellows, but, unlike him, he
bellows at night, whereas the bull Only
bellows during the day, except when he
is badly scared. With these exceptions
there is nothing in common between
the crocodile and either the bulbul Or
the bull. There is no definite informa-
ton to be obtained regarding the eN-
act lines upon which the first crocodile
was built. 1t is maintained by those
who have devoted a lifetime to n study
of his interior that the traces of a dia-
phragm which are to be found in him
to-day show that his organization must
have at one time borne some resem-
blance to that of warm-blooded ami
mails.
There is little in the animal kingdom
hat can look SO dead and be so much
alive as Il crocodile. The number cf
unsuspecting persons who have mis-
taken him for n log and have failed tc
discover their mistake until il was too
late to be of any benefit TO them will
never be known. In ancient times,
several years prior TO the British occu-
patton of Egypt. some of the people of
that country worshiped the crocodile as
a god, there being nothing else like
him. They fed him IN dainties and
logged him out with jewels. In other
parts of Egypt, however, the natives
looked upon him as n devil. Having
no firearms. they did not fill him with
lead, but they managed to immediate
him successfully with such weapons As
were fashionable at the time.
The crocodile is not so numerous in
the Nile as he was in the days of the
Rameses family; in fact, he rather
shuns the river now below the second
cataract on account of the annoyances
inseparable from tourist traffic. 1t
seems impossible for a tourist to see 4
crocodile without trying to plug him
with a revalver. and to Il reptile that is
fond of q quiet life this sort of thing is
simply insutfcrabic. He will not me-
lest a man unless ne can take him al Il
disadvantage. and so long as man does
not, unthinkingly. step on him, the
crocodile will GO his way and calmly
await his opportunity.
His methods of capturing large game
are plural as well as singular. Some
times he will lie on a river bank. partly
covered with sand or mud. until all
absent-minded native wanders within
reach. Having grabbed his prey he
will waddle into the water and there
drown the struggler. He will hen
drag his victim ashore and bury him in
sand or mud and wait for days before he
9orges himself.
His favorite plan of providing food
for himself in the water is to depress
his head and tail and float withthe cur-
rent. While performing this act he
looks like an old, blackened log
Though he is perfectly happy on LAND.
and spends much of his time there. re
Fan stay under water a long time and
kill while under water without suffer-
ing any incOnvenience.-Chicago News
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
A Big Python Fooled.

The big python in the London zoo
made up its mind some time ago that
life was not worth living, for it refused
10 eat sufficient food to keep it alive.
Its usual meal was four OF five pigeons
or ducks, but it became too languid to
seize more than one of them when they
were put into its cage. Its keeper in
this emergency had recourse to a
stratagem which has completely
fooled the python. Before the pigeon
had been swallowed the keeper pushed
into its mouth n dead duck and before
that had been disposed of the regula-
ton number of birds followed the
same way. Thus the python takes his
usual quantity of food without know
ing tn. Y. World.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
The Pin Raskct.

One of the newest # new things this
winter is the pin basket. To make a
pretty one buy 4 small, shallow basket.
1t should be quite fresh and new. If
possible secure one in which the edges
are nicely finished off with basket lace
work. Line 1t with silk of some pale
shade-p:nk, blue, green or violet. Make
the lining loose and puffy. Only the
bottom of the baske: is lined. Around
the sides-inside, of course-are at least
half a dozen minute pincushions made
of the same silk as was used in lining.
The cushions should be attached to the
basket with baby ribbon of the required
shade. One cushion is filled with ordi-
nary pins, another with white-headed,
another with black, and so on. \ pretty
idea is to gid the basket before trim
ming it.-St. Louis Republic.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09

seady for the tally-ho party from the
city?" called out Mrs. Somers. They
must have had calves'-head jelly, you
know, and, positively, they expect that
cream flows almost in the streets here.
1t is all right to sell to them, but you
can't sell what you want yourself. at
least I'm not going to-" ratified on Mrs.
Somers, never waiting for any answer to
questions.
Mr.. Somers reused himself, and spoke
up:
WHAT are you women always bother
ing your heads about those people for?
Why don't you let them alone? What
has started you now?"
"Why, pa, don't you know about our
Invitation? You must set over YOUR
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
Opinions of Great Generals on War.

Arbitration between nations signi.
fes the same thing as the existence Of
the ordinary judicial courts. 1t meal
the substitution of reason for force as
n means of decision. That its POSSIBLE
tiles are great has already been demon
strated; that they will grow with the
development of a disposition to peace
is unquestionable. An indication of
this tendency may be found in the abb
horrence of war by great commanders.
The sentiment of Wellington, Moth
ing except a battle lost can be half so
melancholy as a battle won," was ex-
pressed more bluntly by Gen. Sher-
man: do you know what war is?
War is hell" while Gen. Grant, speak
ing with direct %pertinence to the sub
ject of arbitration, said: Though 1
have been trained as n soldier, and have
participated in many battles, there
never was n time when, in my opinion,
some way could not have been found of
preventing the drawing of the sword.
/ look forward to an epoch when a
court, recognized by all nations, will
settle international differences, in
stead of keeping large standing
armies, as they do in Europe Cen.
fury,
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-05-09
HE COULD FIGHT.
One Blow Secured a school for the Pale,
Thin Young Man.

Thin Young Man..
In the mountains of the south the
schools are still maintained upon the
substitution plan. \ travelling man
lust returned from that section gave the
following account of an examination of
an applicant for a school:
81 was stopping at a cabin all night"
said he, land a pale. slender Young
man came during the evening to talk
with NV host.
- am thinking of starting a school
here he said. .and | wanted to see il
YOU would subscribe
".Kin vo' read"
eyes.
"'Kin vo' write"
".Certainlv.'
".Kin yo' tirperP'
".Of course
".Air vo' married?'
".No.
".Wall, we did want married man
mex time. The las three teachers has
run off with gals. an thar amt enuff
gals in this hyar neighborhood now.
But | dom S'pOSc none of EN- would