The herald., 1896-06-12
MURPHY'S
DISSERTATIONS

That's a-going to be great banquet
what the colonels Of the Union League
is a-getting up for Wednesday night"
said Mr.. Blinker Murphy, as he hoist
ed his feet on the nepheWs desk. There 8
to be speeches and recitations and big
feed. Dan Cole is down on the program
for talk on How the Water Front is
Being Saved from Monopoly. Con
O'Connor is a-going to respond to the
toast, We Are Brothers-Nit. w. A. s.
S. Nicholson will play. Wearing of the
Green on jewsharp Colonel Stone is
to thank Major McLachlin for consult
ing him about the management of the
Republican party. General Backus and
General Sheehan will give some per-
sonal "reminiscences of scenes on the
battle field after the bloody war was
over. Hervey Lindley will tell about
toast De Young. Paris Kilbourn is
down for funny recitation, How Me
and Hig Holds On. Sam Thonton is
a-going to cut a pigeon wing and Nor
ris Estee is a-going to make feeling
speech regretting the absence of Colonel
Fred.
"Say, a-talking about our elector.
double cross il Fred had given some of
that stuff he copped off from the sugar
barrel to Buck to do John Dough up
with On the dead low, between me
and you, Freddy has got an idea in
his nut that he can make Washington
this legislature.
Everybody appears to be a-getting
loco now days. Here's uncle a-forgiv-
ing all them A r. U. strikers what he's
starved to death, Now, amt he de-
cent. You guys never give Coils
credit for anything good. and you're
dead wrong. What am l a-getting at?
Why, uncle Is a-showing you that he
amt no vlndictive mark He never car
reS his animosities nc further than the
grave. I'll bet You If you was to ask him
that hen say he freely forgives that
striker over in Oakland what went and
starved to death because the Espee
wouldn't let him get no work and he
didn't have nothing to eat for a week.
We amt a-going to follow his family
up and starve them. Uncle's got some
feeling, he has. He amt like that
French princess who, when she hears
the push a-howling for bread says
What's the matter with the jays? If
they amt got no bread. why don't they
eat cake?' and then the jays goes and
gets cranky and chops off her head.
And here's these silver guys a-kick-
ing about the bankers and plutocrats
and the usurerS and a-saying that sill
YER is the poor mans stuff. Why, say,
those fellows is so nutty on free coinage
that they beat geeSer named Edwards
down in Fresno because he has gold
filling in his teeth.
Johnny Mitchell was up to see me
last night. He was a-telling me and
Steve how John Tralee Gaffey's purity
push done him up in Cowhenga.
1.-The polls was open for three hours
in the afternoon says Johnny, and /
had a habeas case in court what kept me
till 5 o'clock There's only about eight
Democrats in my precinct. and as
had showed five of them on the board of
election / feels myself safe of being
elected. AS me and Tim Sullivan was
a-going up to vote I sees two wagon
loads of Mexicans a-driving off.
whats them fellows been ADDING
I says to Tim.
".Tinfoil Creighton has been a-vot-
ing them, guess says Tim.
How many wagons has we got? 1
asks.
Three says Tim.
"'Then We'll do them up says.
ono says Tim.
"'Why.? saysI.
because the supply of greasers has
run out says Tim.
Mitchell is a-going to get even on
the purity push, all the same. He don't
want it known what his plans is. but
of course he won't mind me a-telling
YOU. He's got a mark named Merrill
what's kind of buttonhole relation of
Colonel Fred's and used to hold job
in the Sandwich Islands staked out to