The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1896-01-31
THE TROUBLES OF JONES.

celebrated Jones, though l Fly 1t my
self-Jones, the solicitor, at the corner
house on the Green, the great Jones,
whom everybody knows.
state this as simple truth. 1 an
not vain man; il feel that am SUI
perior to all the other Joneses in Hatch,
ington, that is n natural opinlon-and
my own private opinion--which ! am
not likely to thrust upon the attention
of my fellow-creatures Heaven for
bid!
JoAAa Is not an unsnaaaon nAIas,
AID one msst infallibly encounter
othsr Jonases in the courss of one's
pilgrimage through the world, and be
taken for those other Joneses at times
in the newspapers, no matter what
Objectionable proceedings, civil, uncivil
OF criminal, those other Joneges may
have been up to.
That is the excessively awkward part
of it, and that accounts for the story
am about to relate as graphically az
my powers will allow.
My enemies-and all remarkable men
have their enemies-will tell you an
other kind of story. "a water on-the-
brain kind of man." "a swelled-head
sort Of fellow" my enemies have been
heard to whisper of me; but l am above
their petty calumnies-far away ON the
mountain tops above them.
And now for the other Jones, who
must come and pitch his tent on Hatch
ington Green also, or rather in a little
trumrery house just around the cor
ner of the Green.
Mr.. Timothy Jones arrived at the lit
tie corner house, and began bushes.
there as a minor poet. came across
his name sometimes in the newspa-
psrs, and once across his portrait, size
Of q postage stamp, at the top of a pslra-
graph Of half-penny evening nevspA-
per, and the exact image of sooty Jack
Sheppard, without the fringe. mon
strous picture, and labeled 1T. Jones,
of Hatchington Green"
Don't think great deal Of your
husbands portrait in the Evening Per-
twinkle" one of my wife's friends
wrote to Mrs. Thomas Jones; Every
unlike him, especially about the nose.
I am surprised to find that your hus-
band is poet, too"
If I had wanted to write poetry
could have turned off reams Of rhyme,
dare say. consider to be COMPOUNDED
with the man at the corner in the Even
ing Periwinkle was my first humiliat-
ing blow.
Presently it came to packets OF proofs
being left at my house by the mistakes
of laundering postmen, and then TO
important letters of mine going to his
house, and his trumpery correspond
ence coming to mine.
Once this Timothy Jones called on
me to inquire if had taken in New
Zealand leg Of mutton by mistake; 1t
should have reached him from Leaden-
hall market by 10 noon
Ho was civil enough young fellow,
was Timothy Jones, but overccnfldent
I was glad to put him in his place, now
that the opportunity had presented
itself.
mo, sir; we do MOI deal in New
Zealand mutton here" I explained.
Mrs. Jones has an insuperable objes-
ton to cheap meats, and your mutton
would not have been allowed to come
into the house."
All this was very aggravating to me;
still more aggravating when I found
that my servants had taken the New
Zealand mutton in after all. 1t had
come by carriers cart and the other
Jones had not suggested itself to the
servants minds.
And there it was discovered on our
premises at five in the afternoon, and /
had heard Timothy Jones say that hn
dinner was fixed for six.
I sent the mutton around by the
page, and as Mrs. Thomas Jones
thought it was our duty to apologize
I followed the mutton when it had got
a good way upon the road-out Of
sight and smell.
Timothy Jones was out, so 1 saw Mrs.
Timothy Jones, a pretty little woman
enough, with too much Of a smile, per-
haps. I made my apology deliberate
lyand formally, and think that she was
impressed by it.
She hoped that I had not troubled
myself to bring the mutton around
great Heavens!-it was of no sonSs-
quencc now. a. another joiat haA bsa
procured tsoo ~ loaaa bsA.lk1 aad
70 forth.
Mrs. Timothy Jonas o11sA "a aAaks
hands with me, which l thought
rather familiar proceeding. But I
shook hands, and I actually kissed that
sticky boy and wishcd-odd that was
that there were three such children
running about that big house Of mine.
A few weeks later came the great
source of annoyance, even Of shame
just as if it were any fault of my own!
There is published on Saturday In
Hatchlngton weekly paper principal
ly consisting of advertisements, cribs
from other papers, local news and ran
dom readings. l never looked at the
rag, and therefore its startling poster
outside the Office door failed to catch
my eye; but on the station, whilst wait
ing for my customary train to town,
/ was conAdsrahy ast0ishA 10 80
in hs0s BsobdhguagAA nptak:
:.....s.................. .......~e.t
THE MISSING LADY.
Mysterious Disappearance of Mrs. r.
Jones, Of Hatchington Green. /:
............. ,...................
You might have Knocked me down
with feather-it seemed SO remarka-
bly, lifelike and homelike. For min