davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
A NeHx Pneumntic stnr.

Uncle Sans son. Cousin Bob Cousins,
who is down at Washington representing
a republican district of Iowa in the House
gave his colleagues great blowout the
other day. He blew them off" to a
speech. and incidentally puffed himself
into prominence among the pneumatic
stars of the first magnitude of the cur
rent congress. Cousin Bob Cousins comes
from the section of the country in which
they raise cyclones and billiards. For a
period of many months before he went
down to Washington, he raced in the face
of the severest cyclones he could find,
with his mouth open. Hence, when he ar
rived at the capital he was eminently fit
ted to hold his own in the Fifty-fourth
congress.
Cousin Bob Cousins first good opportu-
nifty to exploit his pipes and stops came
along the other day when the Bayard res
olutons were under consideration. His
effort proved that he had his compressed
cyclones under good control. At the be-
ginning there was only a gentle zephyr
from Cousin Bob's oesophagus, and it
whispered through his whiskers as the
night breeze whispers through the boughs
of the majestic pines of the far north.
west But the whispering was merely
the prelude. Before the listeners had 50
much as begun to nod under the soporifc
Influences of the zephyr Cousin Bob pull.
ed out another stop and turned on gale
and then in rapid succession increased the
gale to a whirlwind, and the whirlwind to
a hurricane, and the hurricane to a ter
riic tornado. SO fierce was the pneuma
tic disturbance in the chamber that the
democrats all crawled under their desks:
and even Mr.. Bayard in London caught it
in the neck.
There was lots of dust in the windstorn
that Cousin Bob raised; dust intended for
the eyes of voters; dust with which it was
hoped to hide the incompetency of con-
gress But it was a great effort 1t must
have been, for Cousin Bob says himself
that it was, and number of republicans
with records in the matter of wind. gath
cred around him and assured him that it
was one of the most breezy things they
had ever enjoyed 1t doesn't matter So
much what Cousin Bob said; the way he
said it was the thing 1t is told that one
of the most effective sermons ever heard
in a certain district was by an irrever
ent young fellow who told in if
only of how his hounds had chased a
fox. He had employed the famous sing
song intonation of the way back preach
er, and SO artistically had he used it that
the listeners were transported with relie-
ious fervor. The story itself did not
amount to shucks; it was the style.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
Plain TaIL From stahImnn.

Mai. F. 3. Stahlman. until recently the
1 commissioner Of the Southern Railway
I and Steamship Association. in an article
in the March number Of the Southern
Trade Review. makes some plain state
ments about the difficulties in the way OF
maintaining traffic associations. He points
out that the chief difficulty is the pres
ence Of irresponsible and untrustworthy
men i'm prominent positions in the service
of the roads that are members Of the
associations. These men have little or no
regard for the obligations which their re-
spective roads assume in becoming mem
bcrs Of a traffic association. They make
il impossible for men holding similar posi-
lions on other roads TO be honest and hold
their places. They cut rates whenever
they can get business from a rival line
by doing So When one line begins cut
ting rates other lines have TO do so also,
or else suffer a great loss Of business.
Speaking of those railroad men who re-
sort TO sharp practices to get business,
Mr. Stahlman says: 1T is almost incred-
ible that property interests representing
multiplied millions of capital ramifying all
avenues OF trade. and playing such an i'm
portant part in the commerce and trade
Of this country. should be placed under
the unrestricted control of such men. and
yet we find this to be so. We see men
managing railways or IN control Of the
most important departments. who handle
them as they would foot balls to be
clicked about at their pleasure; men who
not infrequently allow personal consider
ations to influence them. and who, under
our form of rate construction (Which can
not be changed may, by the stroke of a
pen or the utterance of a single sentence
destroy the rates upon a large volume OF
traffic involving millions of revenue to
transportation companies"
II it were possible to put the manage
ment or railroads in the hands of only
honest men the financial condition of the
railroads would be vastly better and the
business interests Of the country would
be far better off. What business requires
is fair and stable rates. If a big shipper
is given a less rate than a small shipper,
It is only question of time when the
small shipper will have to go out of
business. The small shipper cannot COM
pete with the larger one when the larger
shipper is favored by the transportation
lines. Railroad commissioners, besides
having the power to fix rates. should also
have the power to compel railroads to ad-
here to the rates. The commissioners,
however do not interfere to prevent rate
cutting. They appear to think that rate
cutting is beneficial to the people. AS
matter of fact. it is not. because it dis
turbs business, introduces uncertainty
where there should be certainty and Gre
ates dissatisfaction. because every ship
per is apt to think that a rival shipper
is gettingl better rates than he is. The
railroads are bound to have trouble as
long as irresponsible and bad men are
kept in places of influence and power on
the railroads.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
The cen in Parliament.

There is new Irish member of par
lament from the rural districts whose
artless simplicity is the theme of MANY
stories in the London papers, SAYS the
New York Tribune. The first time he
sengers, Who goes homer" denoting the
termination of a sitting he exclaimed in
establishment to a brother Celt: well
ID you ever see such impudence as that?
What business is * of those fellows who
goes homer" But he eelipsed this per-
Torrance when he alighted on the formal
announcement of the severance of Mr.
was d Ibished III the customary form
namely. that the gentleman in question
had been appointed steward and a bailiff
of one of her majesty's manors. The in
nocent Hibernian pointed this out with
great concern and gravity to a brother
member, saying: Who'd have thought
that Tom Sexton would have sunk so low
as to take billet like that-and from
tory government, too?'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
William Mckinley.
From the st. Louis Mirror Qnd).

Mr. Mckinley is not presidential size
He has but one idea, and that has been
exploited to explosion When il was mt
into operation il was reDudiated by the
people. He can talk nothing else. He is
ike the lonely crank who continues to
talk the blue glass treatment" after it
mas run its course as a fad. Mr. McKin-
ley has neither versatility humor, wit
nor imagination. In the last quality he is
especially lacking. Without Imagination
no man can be great. 1t is the essence of
genius He is the man of narrowest inter-
ests and mental scope of all the presiden-
tial timber in his party. He is the one
stick of them all. His characteristics
are all ligneous and unattractive His pop
ulartty is distinctly machine made" His
unchecked triumph thus far is an indict-
ment of the people as a lot of asses. He
represents no principle. What he stands
for Is proft-profit for the protected in
dustries, profit for the fellows who want
to hold Office, profit for the jobbers and
ringSters f.f
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

Here. says the Westminster Gazette, is
a literal translation of what the French
man makes of'one of Burns poems:
oh. if thou vert exposed to the cold hur-
ricane,
On the meadow down there, on the
meadow down there
Opposing my plaid to its anger,
I'd shelter thee, I'd shelter thee.
Now compare those lines with these:
oh, were thouin the cauld blast,
ON yonder lea, on yonder lea
My plaidie -tae the angry ART
I'd sheltersthee, III shelter thee,
and you will have some idea of what
turns must sound ike to the afflicted
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and IS served 10
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AT si.00 a month. 500 for six months, aud
$1,000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mall six
times Il week without Sunday issue)Y
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year. $50
The WEEKLY NEWS. ? issues a week,
Monday and Thursday. BY mail. one
year. Sl00
Subscriptions payable II advance Re
NIT by postal order check or registered
letter Currency sent by mail at risk Of
Eenders.
Transient advertisements. other than
special column. local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column,
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is the standard Of measurement. Con-
tract rates and discounts made known on
application at business office.
Orders for delivery OF the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place OF
business may be made by postal card
or through telephone No. 20. Any irreg-
ularity in delivery should be Immediately
reported TO the office OF publication
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ga
EASTERN OFFICE. q Park Row. New
York City. c. S. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
Two sides TO a story.

did you hear about Samuels?" asked
Mrs. Graymare's husband, says the Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
No; l didn't hear about Samuels" the
lady answered. when you have anv-
thing to tell. why don't you tell it?''
Yes, dear. Well, Samuels was going
home the other night, when footpad
shot at him and the bah hit latchkey
in Samuels' vest pocket, and his life was
saved. So you see what good a latchkey
is"
Indeed. If Samuels had been going
home at a reasonable hour he wouldn't
have met any footpad. Secondly he car
ries $4,000 insurance. payable to his wife
and if it had not been for that key she
would be "a rich widow right now So, if
you are limiting around for a latchkey
you viii have to bring home some better
story than that one That's all. I'm go
ing to go toS bed new, and if you want
to read you'll have to go to the kitchen
And don't waste the coal. p
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
Free silver and Protection.

Birds of a feather will flock together
There is nothing illogical nor reasonable
in the action of the republican manufac-
turers of Philadelphia who have been down
to Washington holding sweet converse
With the senators from Colorado, Montana
Nevada, Idaho and Utah.
The gentlemen from the Rockies wish
to sell their silver to the people of the
United States at the price of two dollars
for every dollars worth they can dig out
of their mines. They are willing to sell
their votes to the protectionists in con
gress, with the understanding that the
protectionists shall in return vote for the
free coinage of silver. That they know
where they are att and what they want
they have made very clear by their action
in defeating the Dingley tariff bill.
The motives behind the action of our es-
teemed manufacturing contemporaries are
also very clear and comprehensive. They
all want higher duties on imported stuffs
in order that they may compel consumers
to pay them higher prices; and the holder
among them want free coinage of silver
SO that they can pay for a dollars worth
OF labor with fifty cents. No man can be
SO dun as not to see the advantage of sell
ing IN a market where the consumer is
compelled to pay a bounty. and at the
same time buying the labor involved in
production with fifty-cent dollars.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

Mr.. Andrew Carnegie told a reporter of
the Morning News that if it came to
question of voting for protection and free
silver, or free trade and sound money, he
would vote for the latter combination.
He is one of the greatest. manufacturers
in the United States, and is republi-
can and protectionist. But of suen
vital Importance to- the country is the
stability Of its money that he would even
accept free trade, if that were neces-
sary, to preserve the currency. Mr.. Car
negie never objects to getting labor for
the lowest price that he can But he
would not consent to the cutting of the
purchasing power of the wages Of his
employees half in two. making paupers OF
them and pmnging the country into the
widest Of panics, for the purpose Of bene.
biting the silver mine owners.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

1t is a pleasure to note that the staunch
and reliable Columbus Enquirer-Sun has
been purchased by two gentlemen of abil-
ity who will continue it upon the lines
of policy which have made it such a
power for good in Southeast Georgia. Mr..
Grower won his spurs as a fighter for
sound democracy, clean politics and fear
less and honest journalism during his
connection with the Free Press of Quit
man, which he made one of the best
papers of the weekly press in the state.
Mr.. Harris worked long and faithfully
by the side of the Enquirer-Sun's able,
editor, the late Beale H. Richardson.
which is evidence of his ability. The
Morning News extends its congratula-
tions to the Enquirer-Sun, and wishes
for it increased prosperity under its new
administration.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Special Notices-Bids for Furnishing
Coal. II. NJ. Lotion. Superintendent Water
Works. Important to Ladies, Nine. l.. Des-
bouillons; Special Notice, About De
fiance" Bicycle. r. V. Connerat.
Business Notices-Havana Beauties at
Cooks Pharmacy; Great Bargains in CT
gars. at Adams Drug Store.
Pearline-James Pyle, New York.
Medical-Ho Sarsaparilla; Cuticura
Remedies; Duffy's Malt Whiskey.
Boys Easter Suits-B. II Levy & Bro
Steamship Schedules-Ocean Steamship
Company.
Isn't It a Comfort to Your Mothers?-
Falk Clothing Company.
Tobacco-Blackwelr Genuine Durham
Tobacco.
Fifteen Per Cent Oh-Appel & schaul.
Our Specialties-Lindsay & Morgan.
Cheap Column Advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted For Rent
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

PETER has less than year to remain
sn the Senate. There is a movement
among the populists of Kansas to frame
mis- whiskers in the gubernatorial Office.
this time pretty we'll abolished poverty
an so far as he is individually concerned
He has had several if not all of the
members of his family in the employ
of the government ever since he became
a senator.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

1t appears, from a publication In the
Washington Star. that the free silver
bosses in Georgia have not only got
their plans for capturing the state DEM
ocracy cut and dried, but have already
made their slate of delegates that are
10 be sent to the Chicago convention. The
delegates at large ON the slate are said
10 be Senator Bacon, Congressman Crisp.
Capt. Howell of Atlanta and Mr.. Patrick
Walsh Of Augusta
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
The senate's Candidate.
Washington Cor. Chicago Times-Herald
Qnd.).

One feature of the situation should not
be overlooked. The United States Senate
is for Allison He is popular man in that
body, and has been for many years. He
IS comfortable person to get along with.
He is good-humored, sympathetic, urbane.
lie keeps his promises, too. Besides, he
knows what senator's want, he knows how
to handle them, he knows how to cater
TO their dearest wishes. For many years
the Senate has been out of sympathy with
the executive. Ever since the resignation
of Conkling and Platt there has been more
or less friction between the President and
leading senators. Arthur got along fairly
Well thanks to his fine manners and easy
way of doing business. But Cleveland
through two terms and Harrison one were
in hot water with the upper branch of
congress most of the time. The prevalent
idea in the Senate to-day, on both sides,
is that they don't want any more presf-
dents like Cleveland or Harrison They
want man with his feet on the ground
Allison would just suit.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

Edward Atkinson, the well-knewn no.
litical economist says the Piedmont sec
tion of the south, which extends through
the Carolinas,~ Georgia and Alabama.
could be made one of the greatest sheen
raising sections of the country if it we're
not for the dogs. The people of the sec
ton, however, would prefer to have a
few NANCY ours than all of the sheep
that could be herded in the section. This
is shown by the records Of the several
legislat lures.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
For THE PREsENr

good OF your health you sho,,,a a.
--.o"s LIVER hegulator-and that befo-,
80 es thing else-the delay NAV -
simmons Liver Regulate =.
eIio oesO iiVer remedy and the best ~
s sleulelhe. and on that account is the r..
oprins medicine. You can always co...
on II that Simmons Liver Regulate -
Deheht your health, because il rer1,l..--
the lNer-iSeeps IL in good working So
ana that is more than can be said ~ -,
other preparations which might be orr
you as substitute. Don't take ~.
put DO take Simmons Liver Reeuls,a-'
II IS the only liver remedy on the mar.
called Simmons Liver Regulator
forget the word Regulator-and thai ,,'
Red z is on every package. J. II. -
& Co.. Philadelphia, Pa. -'A
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

The Senate halts in its march upon
Cuba. 1t started out with lots of bun
combe, and it appeared at one time that
the Senate would have Cuba free before
the flowers bloomed in the spring, even
If that sword of Morgan's had to be
taken from the table to accomplish it
But the Senate heard a voice from the
House; the voice of Turner of Georgia
1t had so much the ring of truth and
patriotism, and craftsmanship in it that
the Senate paused to consider. 1t is
still considering.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
CURRENT COMMENT.
Crisp "In "a Hole"

From the Valdosta CGa.) Times Dem.
Mr.. Carlisle's reply to Congressman
Crisp's assertion that he (CarIisle) was
wickedly discriminating against silver >,
is crushing. The Georgia champion of free
silver Will doubtless take his humiliation
Win the equinimity of the adept politi-
clan, but deep down in his heart he will
feel his predicament very keenly. Think
ing, reading people cannot escape the evil
dence that he has been put in a very deep
hole from which he cannot escaDe
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

The free silverite proposition is TO cut
the value OF money in half; to make a
dollar buy only half as much as dol
lar viii buy now. The protectionist prop
osftion Is 70 put a tax upon clothing. and
blankets. and hats and plows. and axes.
and shovels and spades. and wagons. and
hundreds of other things. which every
farmer and every wage Garner must have.
thereby increasing the price OF those ar
ticles The free silverite proposition is
to make a dollar worth fifty cents; the
prOcteetionist. proposition is to add TWEEN
ty-five cents or more on the dollar to the
cost Of every manufactured article. in
Guiding the necessaries Of life. The free
silverites aTFd the prOtectionists are max
ing a deal whereby each will have the
others support for the purpose of robbing
the people of the fruits of their labors,
by destroying the value of their money
for the enrichment of the silver mine own
ers. and taxing all consumers for the en-
richment of the protected manufacturers.
Evidence of this conspiracy is found in
the secret meeting of silverite senators
and Pennsylvania manufacturers in Wash
ington on Thursday. Yet, in the face of
these things, there are democrats who
give their support to the schemes of the
silver barons and the protectionists. 1t
is preposterous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

1t should be remarked by the voters
that the people who are shouting loudest
for free silver are people who want some
thing. And great many of them would
shout just as loudly for anything else
under the sun as for free silver, if by do
ing SO they saw the prospect of advancing
their own personal ends. 1t is a pity that
the true and honest friends of free silver
cannot get rid Of the political hacks and
faklrs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23

one sporting paper says the Presidents
gun is Shore and another says it is 10
bore. At first blush this looks like a
matter of no consequence. But, indeed
it is of Importance This country is chock
fun of sportsmen, and each one is inter
ested in the size of the bore of the gun
that every other sportsman uses. 1t trans
pires that an Shore gun is the weapon of
the pot-hunter; wide-mouth, murderous
piece The true sportsman would never
think of drawing a bead on duck with
anything larger than a 1O-bore. and the
chances are about two to one that he
would prefer the even smaller 12-bore. So
that his glory might be the greater. Upon
the testimony of many gentlemen worthy
of all confidence to the effect that the
President is thorough sportsman, we de-
cline to believe that he hunts ducks with
an Shore shotgun.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-23
4 Prcnchrr in Mnm strcct.

Not long ago a Lutheran preacher in
New Jersey left his pulpit and went TO
/ New York and opened "a beer saloon. The
incident occasioned a mild sort Of local
I sensation. and the eccentric preacher 5
/ relations with the church were dissolved
/ by the governing body Of that jurisiic-
ton. Within a short time there has oc-
CURED a somewhat parallel case. in which
"A Presbyterian preacher and editor is the
person who has set aside church discip-
line and entered a line OF trade which
church people generally regard with at
least some degree Of suspicion.
This latter preacher has entered Wall
street as stock broker, and invites mem
beers Of his former flock and all others
vino may feel so inclined, 10 speculate
through him. He has been in the business
only a short while. but claims that he
would be able to give pointers" 10 many
OF the operators who have spent years in
Wall street. And. further. he says his
books viii show that every customer he
has had since ne entered the business has
made money. BY way of explaining how it
was that he came to adopt speculation
as business. he says he had no pulpit
and was Obliged to do something to earn
a livelihood. Buying and selling stocks
and bonds is a legitimate business, which
is followed by some of the most respected
people in the country. He considered that
to enter that line Of endeavor would be
more honorable than to LAY pipe and pull
wires" to secure pulpit, as he has known
of preachers doing. He had no intention
of working" the brethren to make them
hiring their investments to his office. but
proposed to deal in an absolutely straight
forward and open way. and by strict at
tention to business, earn a living.
1t cannot be questioned that the preach
er had a right to regulate his own CON
duct. even to the reputation of his church
vows. Whatever offense he has com
mitted. in quitting ministerial work and
becoming the agent of Legitimate gam
bling, does not come under the statutes
of any state or the general government.
The truth probably is that the preacher
has just discovered his level He should
never have gone into the pulpit Wall
street is his element. He says all of his
customers have made money That is a
suspicious statement. Usually brokers'
books show more losses than gains for
cutomers. That is what keeps the street
up. If the preacher-broker always makes
money for his customers, then he is a re-
markedly shrewd sharper" if he does
not always win. he has already fallen into
one Of the streets ways of catching
lambs.