The morning times., 1896-10-19
THE QUIET VOTE.
SAMPLE DEMOCRATIC SPEECH.
Orator Promised Reforms Which He
Knew w Ould ever he Accomplished.

Editor Times: There is not that eN-
citemenJ IN the District OF Columbia We
find in cities where the right of suffrage Is
allowed l will always rememb ber the last
Presidential campaign, having been sent
out by the Democratic campaign Com nmittee
to make speeches in New York.
l was chief OF 4 division in one of the
departments, a position l still hold. l
had been appointed by President Cleve
land during his first term and held over
under Mr.. Harrison, much to my surprise.
When the committee called me l felt it
was a command and reluctantly Consented
to make a few speeches, If my expenses
were paid. They consented 10 do this.
/ was sent to Horseheads. Il small town
near Elmira, n. Y, place ! had never
heard of before, to make my first speech.
l sent word In advance that 1 was COM
ing and asked that the largest hall in town
be placed at my disposal
/ intended il TO be the greatest event in
the history OF the town and surrounding
country. 1t was to be my maiden speech
and the Crowning event in my life. l CON
fidently expected the people would date
their letters from that time and not Ammo
Domini as at present.
The day at last arrived and / was on
hand an hour before the time appointed
L WAS met ut the depot by n delegation
of Democrats, consisting of the postmaster
anu Two oeutE ulstihSulSueu ReHtRulen OF
the town. There were 500 people in
the place, of which at least l roo were
Republicans How / ever got out of that
town alive will always be a mystery to
me.
About zoo people were present 10 hear
me and l think at least IT'S of those were
Republicans. l opened my speech with
the statement or the shortcomings of the
Republican party and of its great ex-
trayagdnce. l held that all the evils of
our civilization Were directly attributable
to the party in power and that If Cleveland
could be elected the country would blossom
as a rose; that the public debt would
soon be paid off: that all soldiers would
receive pensions double what they now
get, and that the millennium woultl surely
come before his term expired. / told them
that our country was overrun with trusts
andthat Mr.. Cleveland would do a way with
all of them.
l did not believe any of this myselr. Int
as Democrat felt il my duty to mako
statements which might possibly he trun
1t is a huniliating confession but / will
say right al this point that while a younc
man IN my twentieth year phrenolosist
came TO the town where / was living and
my parents were anxious to have nv head
examined, for l had never told the trutb
| up to that time. They wanted a phIenolo-
| Sist to see whetherit was going to continue.
They did not tell him OF my weakness.
| After he had examined my head he told
my pa rents that the bump of veracity W as
entirely wanting, but the bump of exagger
alton and falsehood was abnormally de
veloped, and that there was only one occu
patton that I Could fill successfully Ny
father eagerly asked what that was, a!
he had never discovered a special talent
for anything up to that tine. The phrenolo
| rist told him that / might succeed as z
politician, and that as politician woult
make a very good Democrat. Since thai
time I have become thoroughly convinced
that the phrenologist's dia gnosis of my cast
was extremely accurate.
| IL occurred to me ut the time that 1
would be Il popular thing to attack the tivi
service, SO I told my audience that Presi