Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-06-25
The New Man.
INTERESTING VIEW OF THIS PHE-
NOMENON BY HIS COMPAN-
ION, THE NEW WO-
MAN.

1t is impossible that there should
be the so-called New Woman"
without there being likewise "New
Man" to bear her company. There
fore, after reading the the very
witty description Of the "New Wo-
man" by the RO,0adSman, l was
constrained to relate, as / have lately
heard it, the story of the "New
Man."
And it came to pass, after many
days that, it being thought not good
that the "New Woman" should be
alone and the " New Man" put in his
appearance in the land. And he
was soon known in the gates as one
of the chief lords of creation, and
he proclaimed this, and also cried it
from the housetops, so that many of
the women who were not new were
fain to tremble and fall upon their
knees and worship this splendid crea-
ture.
"Surely," said they, "it is just
that we should recognize this man as
our master and do honor to his great
wisdom, for doth he not stand at the
SOihSl VI lliC StlCSb anu Iulh Will II
loud voice, and thrust his hands in
his pockets and squirt tobacco juice ?
Doth not this prove him greater
than we? for what woman amongst
us could do the same! Surely we
arc but us the dust of the earth be-
fore him -
But, as they said this, crying with
loud voice aud putting ashes upon
their heads, the "New WomanD
went by on her wheel, and she
scOtfed a great scott at the self-mag-
nified creature before whom her
older sisters trembled, and she
laughed mocking laugh which
filled her sisters with terror and
caused the New Man" to snort
with rage and eXclaim:
"Surely, that must be the New
Woman
And her sisters said it was even so.
"And she laughs me to scorn
Verify, her pride shall yet be hum
bled, and she shall acknowledge me
as her lord and MASTER" and, with
the fire of wrath and indignation in
his eye, the New Man" turned
away into the place known as the
club. and sat down and called for
strong drink, and played a game
even the game of Seven-up and
swore mighty oaths in that place,
saying unto himself:
1.-THE naughty independence of |
New Women vexeth me sore. l |
will humble her pride. Therefore,
will seek her hand i'm marriage and |
she shall acknowledge me to be her |
lord"
He WAS A SLICK ONE.
Then gat he up and went straight
way to his boarding-house and put
bears grease upon his hair and dom
ned his new suit, the same for which
the tailor had rashly trusted him,
and he issued forth, going to the
" New Woman's" door and knock
ing to be admitted.
And the New Woman" was in
her office (fOr she was lawyer) and
when he entered she greeted him in
q business-like manner.
Then the knees of the "NeW
Man" smote together, and he was
sore afraid, for he knew not how to
proceed In stating his errand; but |
he found his voice and said that he
was the " New Man" and had called
because she was the New Womann |
and he hinted darkly at matrimony.
But the "New Woman" pointed to |
the door, saying:
"GO to! Art thou not he who |
braggeth with loud voice of mans |
greatness when thou art worse than |
nothing, thyself? Art thou not he |
that tarryeth at the club and uttereth
great lies and gambling with cards, |
also cheating thy landlady by leav-
ing thy trunk with two bricks in it |
for thy board? Go to! My income
is good but not enough for two"
And when she closed the door after |
him, the New Man" departed,
madder than ever, but determined to |
revenge.
THE SOLILOQUY.
He sat down upon a bench
even bench in the park--and medi-
taied and said:
"Surely the ways of woman |
are past finding ont, and her tongue il |
sharper than two-edged sword but |
l will not yet lose courage"
So 1t came to pass that he took |
heart and wrote the " New Woman"
a letter demanding her hand in mar
riage, and she answered him and |
said:
"Who art thou, O, man that thou |
would take me to be thy wife |
Hast thou not had thirty-five years
in which to prove the greatness of
which thou boasteth? When thou |
didst proclaim mans superiority |
over woman, surely thou hadst not |
thyself in mind, for, in the eyes of a
righteous woman, the vainglorious |
yet ungodly man is worse than moth
ing. Therefore, go thy way and dis
trust me no more, for / will not |
hearken unto thee.o
Then the &" New Man" ground his |
teeth and called the New Woman"
by hard terms, saying that she as
pired to be a man and that she was
not Of her sphere and many other |
vain and foolish things.
And the New Woman" pursued |
the even tenor Of her way and waxed |
i'm wisdom and good fees, and the
ANC" "ail RIc" uSSpcTdt6 DGChuSe
she would not acknowledge him to
be her lord and divide her earnings
with him, and he said:
"Verily a mans days are vain in
these times. He ariseth i'm the
morning and his washerwOman dun.
meth him with a bill. He goeth
forth and endevoreth to live with
out work and his board bill re-
maineth unpaid. His tailor also
troubleth him. His time piece is i'm