davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

Lady Burton's will is curious
document. She gave orders that aft er
her death n doctor should pierce her
heart with needle; she was then to
be enbalmed in q curious way and
placed by the side of her husband in
the tent at Mortlake. She had bought
vault, however, and left directions
that in case revolution should break
ont in England that aimed at the
desecration of the dead, her body and
her husbands shall be placed in the
vault. The strangest provision, how
ever, in view of the loyal manner in
which his wife stood by Sir Richard
Burton during his lifetime, is that by
which Mr.. Coote, Secretary of the Ma
tional Vigilance Society, the English
Anthony Comstock, is made literary
trustee for Burton's works, and is
directed not to allow an indecent or
coarse word to be issued in connection
with the publication of his books. 1t
was by Mr.. Coote's advice that she
burned her husbands Scented
Garden" for which she had been of.
fered $40, 900, and another work for
which $4,000 was to be paid.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.

Apound of phosphorus heads 1 1,OOO,.
600 matches.
The latest application of asbestos in
electricity is called the electrotherm,
and is used in hospitals, in place of the
old-fashioned hot-water bottle.
1t has been noted that there has
been no drought in Southern Cali
fornir in those districts in which the
eucalyptus trees have been extensively
planted.
Permission has been asked the nu-
thorities of the City of Mexico TO al
low the change from mule power TO
electricity on the street railroads with
in the city.
On the eastern coast of ireland it
rains on an average of 20S days in the
year, in England about $50 days, at
Kazan about ninety days and in ST.
IBERIA only sixty days.
The elephant is commonly supposed
to be slow, clumsy fellow, but when
excited OF frightened can attain a
speed of twenty miles an hour and can
keep it up for half day.
No parental care ever falls to the
lot of single member OF the insect
tribe. In general, the eggs of an in
sect are destined to be hatched long
after the parents are dead.
A motor tricycle. attracted much at
tention at q recent display of autocars
in London. The inventor is an Ameri-
- To-
sons and weighs only 400 pounds.
Compressed hot water is said to be
remarkably cheap motive power,
and the New York Central authorities
are thinking of running fast trains
between New York and Albany by its
means.
Professor Charles Stewart told the
the British Royal Institution the other
day that there are $4,000 hairs on
the human body. He said that he
would not be particular to q hair OF
two one way or the other, but the
above number was the average, for he
had counted them.
Two English bacteriologists con-
clude that an average of 1900 microbes
must be inhaled into the nose every
! Tour, while in London the number
uSist often reach $4,000 The organ
tens are caught by the nose and passed
70 the digestive organs, which in
health destroy them.
Long distance telephones have been
placed in the smallest Swiss villages,
making it possible to communicate
from one end to the other of the coun.
try on instruments kept in perfect re-
pair, and on which one can hear dis.
tinctly. The fee varies from two to
eight cents a message. Electric light
ing from water power has been intro
dvced in even small places.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
Preaching stu at Ninely.One

1t is an unusual thing, indeed, for a
minister to be in active service at the
ripe old age of ninety-one, and it Is
a more unusual thing for minister
to continue without salary as pastor
of one charge for fifty-five years with
still no definite time for retirement
therefrom to look forward to. There
is such a minister in Montgomery
County, however in the person of
Elder Jonathan Van Cleve, pastor of
the Indian Greek Baptist Church.
The venerable Jonathan Van Cleve
is the recognized patriarch Of his de-
nomination, and throughout the CEN
trail States his name is household
word in all Primitive Baptist families.
He has been great travelling
preacher, always at his own expense,
and while "every third Sunday" finds
him in his own pilpit, every other
Sunday finds him in some other pulpit,
perhaps hundreds Of miles from his
home.
Although ninety-one years old, his
form is erect, his eye clear aud spark
ling, his voice resonant and ringing
and his mind and memory unimpaired.
He remembers with distinctness every
incident of his youth, and, what is
unusual with old men, he perfectly
remembers all incidents and circum.
stances of his later years. He reasons
as he always reasoned, and in the
revolution of church anil creed he
clings to the religious tenets OF his
early ministry. He has the hearing
of a man of sixty, the tireless energy
of q youth of thirty. indianapolis
News
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
She Canght Him.

A young married woman was look
ing at vacant house on Pacific ave-
nue. the other day with a view to rent.
ing, when she heard a noise in one of
the upper rooms. She went up to see
what it was, and was almost sure that
she saw q man dodge into a closet and
close the door after him. Her first inn
pulse was to run and scream, but see
ing the key in the door she walked
slowly across the room and turned the
key. Then she ran for a policeman.
1t was in the morning and she could
find none, so went home to lunch aud
forgot all about hor prisoner till even
ing. Then she hunted up an officer
and went to the house.
When the .closet door was opened
the half suffocated owner of the house
tumbled out. He had gone to the
house to do some little chores, and
was changing his clothes when his
toilet was interrupted by the young
lady's unexpected appearance, and he
was forced to seek q refuge in the
closet. San Francisco Post.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
A Remarkable COunterfeiter.

Walter N. Owens, farmer of Okla
homa, was sentenced on Friday, at
Wichita, Kan, to servo term in the
penitentiary at Leavenworth for coun-
terfeiting. The case, to some extent,
is a remarkable one. Previous to his
arrest he had always borne a good
reputation. Two years ago he was a
Juror in the United States Court here
and tried a counterfeiter. During the
progress of the trial counterfeiters'
tools were exhibited and evidence in
troduced showing how false moneys
were coined. Owens examined the
tools closely and listened to the evil
dence attentively. After the conclu.
sion of the trial he went home and
made counterfeiting tools himself and
proceeded to work. Owing to his
good reputation he made and passed
a great deal of spurious money before
he was detected. New Orleans Times.
Democrat.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
Male Birds Lead The Way.

When birds are migrating the male;
usually precede the females. The
robins, for instance, which are seen
early in the year are almost inyarla'
bly, males, which apparently travelled
on before their mates. The female
birds follow, perhaps because they are
not such powerful flyers, and also,
perhaps, because they like to take
their time aud gossip with one an
other. In the fall the male birds leave
first-the old ones-while the females
travel along together with theiI
young, solIcitious for their welfare,
and still training them after the
fashion mother birds. New Yorl
Sun.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
A COMIC DUEL.

Reddit-'I see the French have de.
vised a rather novel regulation for
their dueling code, which is expected
to do away entirely with bloodshed. "
Wellnow-"What is it? Have them
fight simply with expletiyes, or use
brass knuckles at one hundred feet
apart2"
Reddit--"No; ; itprovides for the uso
Of bullet-proof vests"
Wellnow-"lt seems that if the an
tagonists can wear those things they II
be making field OF honor out of every
four-Rcre lot IN France"
Reddit-"Oh but the vests ar5 for
the spectators.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
LOSSES AND GAINS.


Though God has yelled His purpose
From our unsecing eyes,
He bids us hope unceaslng-
The weakling as the wise.
He makes the glowing future
To blossom from the Now;
or ills He coineth blessings,
Although We know not how.
And in the fiery furnace
OF sorrow and Of loss,
His alchemy divorces
True metal from the lross.
AS who would scan the pleasure,
The verdant vale's delights,
Must first, with steps untlring,
Ascend the mountain heights.
Mayhap TO struggle onward,
With bruised and bleeding feet,
Ere half the weary journey
Before him be complete.
So rises Man, the pilgrim,
On lessons bought with pain,
Aud learns there is no losing
without greater gain.
Frank Putnam, in Chicago Tlmes-Heral
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
nUMOR OF THE DAY.

Handsome IS as handsome does, and
handsome often does rs handsome
pleases.
We may not be able to teach an old
dog new tricks, but lots OF MS learn a
great deal while trying. Puck.
"'T is better tolaugh than be sighing'
In poetry sounds very nice;
But laughing will not pay the coalman
And so it won't cut any ice.
Don't let your troubles blind you to
the fact that your neighbours SYM
pathy is two thirds curiosity. .-Atchi.
son Globe.
The wealth OF our language is shown
by the fact that chang it up" and
"chalk it down" moan precisely the
same thing.
Miss Huggins -"My father is very
good at reading faces" Mr.. Kissam-
''Then 1 had better not print any
kisses there"
"One swallow may not make a sum-
mer," but it may have occurred to you
that one grasshopper makes more than
dozen springs.
The more delighted a girl is when q
young man calls on her, the longer
she stays up stairs to primp up before
she comes down. The Southwest.
A man doesn't fully realize the re.
sponsibilities of life until he is called
upon to open a can of salmon with
pair of scissors. s.-The Southwest.
Doctor-"If you bind salt pork on
your face it will cure the toothacbe. "
Patient -"But, doctor, won't it give
me pork chops?"-Detroit Free Press.
As to some OF our statesmen, it is
doubtful whe ther they lack the cour'
age of their opinions, or the courage
to admit that they haven't any
opinions. Puck.
jim Senn-"Why do they call
money the long greenT" Joe Cose
-"Negatively, l suppose; because
without it you are short and blue. -"
Philadelphia North American.
Proprietor "Where is the book
keeperP" Office Boy-"He isn't in.
His wife sent him word that the baby
was asleep, and he's gone home to see
what it looks like. "-Standard.
"Where are you going, my pretty
maid?" "Going a.walking, kind sir, |"
she said. "May go with you, my
pretty maidP" 81 don't walk with a
stick, kind sir, she said. Wrinkle.
Hoax-"Whatl You buying bi.
cycle? 1 thought you detested them.
! Joax-"So l do, but I've been run
over long enough. Now I'm going to
have my revenge. - Philadelphia
Record.
He-"When 1 am married I'll mako
a practice of coming down to dinner
every evening in dress suit" She
"And after you've been married awhile,
I've no doubt, you'll come down to
breakfast in one. Truth.
Invention Enthusiast 81 under
stand that Keely has constructed a
cylinder that will stand u pressure Of
$500 pounds to the square inch. "
Pretty Girl (who hasn't been hugged
for a year)-"H Huh l don't think
that's much. New York Weekly.
"Your son, I believe, made some
experiments while at college?" eyes,
he discovered what he calls his 'scien-
| tine paradox. w nhJ is tne nature
of itP" "He succeeded in demon
strating that debts are expanded by
contracting them" - Washington
Times.
President Rox-"But your account
is already overdrawn, so | don't see
how we can honor your further de-
mands." She-''But / SEQ lots of
people depositing; why cant you give
me some of theirs? They've already
paid in much more than I've drawn
out. "-Standard.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
BLOWS.

Tho giant powder in the blast
Is blowing up the boulders;
The maiden with pneumatic sleeves
Is blowing up her shoulders.
The baker to the kitchen maid
Is blowing up his crumpets;
The mllkman in the lower hall
Is blowing up the trumpets.
The gentle zephyr from the South
Is blowing the narcissus;
The cook who thinks she knows II oll
Is blowing up the "missus."
The father, down upon his knees,
Is blowing up the fires;
The daughter in her bloomer suit,
Is blowing up the tires.
--Yonkers Statesman.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

How much more important Paris is
than any other French city is shown
by their populations. Paris has about
$500, 900 inhabitants and of the two
cities that come nearest her-Tiyons
and Marseilles-neither has quite
800, 900, -,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
This LlItlo an BAG IrOn.

James Gardner, a worker in tho
iron mines at Bessemer, Mich, has a
three-year-old daughter who has ac.
quired a taste for iron ore, which she
eats with ayidity. When kept from
the mines she serapes her fathers
shoes and eats the scrapings with rel
ish. Doctors do not understand tho
case. Despite her strange diet the
child is healthy and bright
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

Mr.. Moth-"What horrible flavor
of moth balls this sacque has !"
Mrs. Moth-"Dear me, Algernon,
you are positively disgusting. Don't
you know thas liking for carbolic
acid and tar is the best evidence that
one has moved in good society AMI ac-
quired a cultivated taste ?"-CIn in.
natl Enquirer.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

Georgia has already become the
peach orchard of the world. Within
few years the number of peach trees
in the State has grown until the orch
nrds count their trees no longer by
hundreds and thousands but by hun.
dreds of thousands.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
An EXPERT.

First Boarder-I understand that
the landlady is to take trip to the
West"
Second Boarder --'Js that so? II
the train would stop long enough at
the stations, she could give the rail
way restaurant people some great
points"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
RATES OF ADVERTISING

One SQUARE. one inch. one insertion. s 100
One Square, one inch, one month. e., 800
One Square one inch, three months. 90
One SQUARE one inch. one year 1000
Two Squares. one year.,.,...,...... 10 NJ
Quarter Column. one year .,..,..,,... 81 OO
Half Column. one year ar,.,........ 50 %
One Column, one year. ....,,. 100 W
Legal Advertisements ten cents per line
each insertion.
Marriages and death notices gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements collected
quarterly Temporary advertisements must
be paid in advance.
Job work-cash on delivery.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

What's ones meat poisoneth IN.
other. Because Town Clerk Collins,
of North Anson, Me-. hearkened to
Cupid's hints and eloped, other people
in North Arson who wish marriage
licenses have got to wait for q special
town meeting to name a new clerk.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

a Convenient Place-Too Bad-knew
What Was Comiug--In Confidence
2 Quite Necessary, ETC., Etc.
In the days Of Hiawatha,
When the Injun wasn't fighting,
Then he used to put the hatchet
Meath the earth or meath q rock;
If the Injun lived to-day,
Think that when the war was over
He would HE him to his uncle
And would put the AK in hook.
New York World.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
HOIST BY HIS OWN PErsRD.

Casey (confdentially, to the fore.
man)-"Ofve bin alther watch n
Kerrigan fer tn lasht two hours, an
devil a shtroke nv wur.ruk hoz he
done in all thot tonne"
Foreman-"Be hivins Kerrigan
wuz just afther comm g me wit tn
same information about yersif. Yez
are boto discharged, fer watchin' in
std NV wur-Tkin'. Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

Jack-"There goes a man who is
known in nearly every city in the
United States, yet l don't believe ho
has friend in the whole world"
Madge-"Who is hep"
Jack-''A baseball umpire. Nor
ristown Herald.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
PRESSURE.

Invention Enthusiast t-'I under.
stand that Keely has constructed a
cylinder that will stand pressure of
$500 pounds to the square inch.
Pretty Girl (who hasn't been hugged
for year, )-"Huhl L don't think
that's much ?"-New York Weekly.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
MY TWO DUELS.
HOUGH | an ner.

HOUGH l am per.
haps the leas S {
quarrelsome man
in the world, it has
been my fate to
fight no less than
two duels. One ]
confess to have
sought; the other
was thrust upon
me ; both occurred
during the nina.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
A SMALL BEGINNING, BUT

81 am poor" he said; cit would be
many years before 1 could give my
wife a yacht"
"Well," answered the girl of '06;
Couldn't you commence with Il little
smack"
And so it came to pass.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

"Pop," said Willie, "whars gold.
bug?"
"That, my son, is what they call
the men who want gold money"
"And 1 suppose a silver.bug is u
man who wants silver money!"
"That's it exactly"
swell, say, pop-Pm only a littlo
feller, and am satisfied with being a
nickel-bug. Gimme one, will er?"--
Harper's Bazaar.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

A nice old lady put Sl7O0 into
Maine savings bank in 1872. Tho
other day the administrator drew out
S5l40.92. But what good did that do
the nice old lady?
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
THE GIFT HORSE,

"Pretty soon, 1 suppose" mur.
INJURED the ex-cowboy, "we'll even have
to change our proverbs.
(which one, for instance?"
"We'll have to say that one should
not look gift bicycle in the spokes." )"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
QUITE NECESSARY.

Cobwigger-"Didn't you think it
rather foolish for her to ask you if her
hat was on straight" L.
Merritt-''No. 1t was on raj w
train, and we had just come out o a
long tunnel"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

Eleven hundred and thirty-one per.
sons have entered for the preliminary
examinations to Yale University; 72s
of these are for the academic depart
ment aud 403 for the Sheffield Seien-
tifie school.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
THE PROPER COURSE.

Assistant it Harvey who
discovered the circulation of the
blood2"
Editor (absently)-"I don't know.
Didn't he make an affidavit P"-Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
KNEW WHAT WAS COMING.

Cumso- "Ricketts is about to change
his business"
Cawker is he going to open
his bicycle storeP"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

Over 1000, 900 people in the United
States have taken out regular life in
surance policies, which arc now in
force.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
IN CONFIDENCE.

Friend-"What are your reasons
for selling~
urbanite-"Malaria and the
lawn mower. Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19
TOO BAD.

A. Wheeler r-"Doesn't he look well?"
T. Tres lin disgust he's
one of those cranks who won't ride a
bicycle. Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

HE LOOKED TO THE RIGHT AND LEFT.
Miss Wheeler r-''Isn't the scenery
beautiful along that road?"
Ryder-'Very I'm using court
plaster and arnica on account of that
scenery. Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1896-08-19

The American Anti-vivisection So.
ciety has declared that hydrophobia
10 q myth.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-10
Tw O Lives saved.

Mrs. Phoebe Thomas, of Junction City
Ill. was told by her doctors she had
Consumption and that there was no hope
for her, but two bottles of DR.. Kings
New Discovery completely cured her
and she says it saved her life. Mr.. Thos.
Eggers, 139 Florida St. San Francisco,
suffered from a dreadful cold, approach
ing Consumption, tried without result
everything else then bought one bottle
of DIR. Kings New Discovery and in two
weeks was cured. He is naturally thank
full. 1t is such results, of which these
are samples, that prove the wonderful
efficacy of t his medicine in Coughs and
Colds. Free trial bottles at Blakeley &
Houghton's Drug Store. Regular size
50 cents and 81 90.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-10
THE ENDLESS CHAIN.

English papers contend that the bond
issue will in no way aid the U. S. treas
ury, because the gold to be used in pur-
chasing the bonds will be drawn out of
the treasury in exchange for other cur
rency. English newspapers know about
as much concerning American finances
and what is best for us as nation as
they do about our geography. England
has one bank upon which its finances
depend almost entirely; we have thous-
ands of banks scattered over territory
more than fifty times as great as Eng
land. In these thousands of banks are
deposited gold coin, seeking a safe in
vestment which is likely to return gold
coin. This popular loan calls upon this
vast accumulation, and part of it re-
spends at once.
New York banks may convert their
currency into gold at the treasury and
use it to buy the bonds sold to them
but generally throughout the country
this will not be the case. But if this
were the case, the result would eventu-
ally be the retiring of this currency,
which has given the treasury SO much
trouble, and the substitution therefor of
Interest bearing bonds, which will give
10 trouble until they mature, and not
serious trouble then, because being ad-
vised as to when they mature, the treas
ury will be advised to meet them.
If our friends across the water knew
all they think they do, or rather if what
they think they know were fact, our
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-10

Shipments of machinery for the new
wooden mill at Pendleton have already
been received, and the roaring of its
looms will be heard by the first of July.
Pendleton is obtaining what The Dalles
should have had long ago. Nowhere
on the Pacific coast are to be found
more substantial and lasting advantages
for this and kindred institutions than
those possessed by this city-aoon to be
the head of deep water navigation upon
the bread Columbia.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-10
| am
Coming
Take your order for a well.
TO

1 have the latest in well-drilling ma
chinery-run with gasoline engine. Sat-
isiactory work guaranteed at reasonable
prices. Call on or write me for full in
formation.
P. L. KRETRER,
feb10 The Dalles, Or.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-10

eand be
lin
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-10

bonding would simply be an exchange
of interest," bearing paper, which will
mature at a fixed time, for demand
paper,bearing no interest. But we pre-
dict that the treasury will gain in its
gold reserve from sixty to eighty per
cent by the bond issue. 1t was the
London press which in 1862 declared the
legal tender act was the dawn of Ameri-
can bankruptcy. They were slightly in
error then, and are equally go now.