The sun., 1896-10-06
COMEDY OF THE CANVASS.
THIS rs NO PRAYER MEETING
ABOARD THE SILVER SNIP.

| NnttonaI Cnnvasp-Shnmus ON OBJ
1 serves the Young NJ cohanicni Voters.
The single-tax kindergarten for political dis
cussion which meets nightly on the Madison
avenue side OF Madison square. and at the very
| entrance of the national Republican headauar-
ters, had more than its usual quota OF FREQ silver
students last night, and there was much enthu-
siasm. One old man with straw hat, who de-
clared, after he had listened to half a dozen
| speeches, TINT he was in favor Of the gold
standard. was punched in the nose. After this
little incident fresh orator was trottcd out.
Fellow citizens" he roared, "the capitalistic
| press and the bankers and the brokers of Wall
street are fond Of telling us that IL BRYAN and
| 10 to / carry the day we will bo flooded
| with the silver of the world. 1t Is lle
fellow citizens, a dastardly lie. As we all
| know, the coinage ratio of England is 1875 to /.
| oh, In England they do things better than we
do. There the ratio is maintained Mt 1875 to l.
| II does not fuctuate from 30 to down
| to 15 tn l, as 1t does here. | say, and you know
it is kept at 1873 to l. Now. see the absurdity Of
| these Infamous Wall street storics DO you
| think tho bold. shrewd, business men OF Eng
| land would bring their silver over here and dis
| pose OF 1t for IL to and pay three cents an
ounce freight when they can get 1875 to for it
| in their own country"
| That's tho stuff" shouted the enthusiastic
crowd. "Ono more argument like that and I'll
| vote for Bryan" said n tall, thin man In the
| middle Of the crowd. The orator had stopped to
get his breath. This thin man said:
| ut reminds me of the story of the man who
had been getting one eighth of the profits of his
employers business. II. was good man. His en-
ployer called him IN day and said to him:
John beginning with the first of the month
will give lou u one-sixth interest in the profits
| John looked at him and said: i work as hard
| now as ever did and I've always got an eighth,
| and II don't get an eighth I'll quit the job"
! Why shouldn't her" shouted one man. "Hur-
rah for him." shouted another,
80, ELL" said the thin man, and he wormed
his way out and wandered off.
I'm the only man that has made n Republi-
| can speech in Richmond, Va. since 1888" said
Lee Fairchild yesterday. You know. in 1883
Malone held things pretty tight down in VIr-
| Ginia. Just before the election some of the
young fellows got out one nj ight and shot twelve
colored men. and the next day the dispatches
| sent out TO all parts of the State read:
The negroes have arisen When the
cold facts were that the negroes had fallen.
However, those dispatches carried the election
| that year. and from that day until this cam
paign nobody ever tried to make u Republican
down there this year by the Republican Com
mittee. The theatre was hired and was ready
for business. The Chairman took me aside and
Look here, Fairchlld, you can't, speak here
Sons let ysu of s9Srse there fe WON'T be amy any
bodily harm. Wen see TO that. Wen have
lice. but they can't help you; you won't be able
to.speak;
Mas WsH 'GEh sh IN iGf the
centre OF the aTdience that, night there were
young fellows. OF course the colored people
galleries. though. Wei. when I p Started to to
speak. these twenty YOUNG men united in a shout
| and said: Waters. take the Chinamen's or
ders. DO you know. there wasn't another in
Chimmy O'Brien invaded the headquarters
| OF Snjun yesterday, He looked happy. Its
| t'carry this city m he can't be beat"
process e reasoning do you arrive at this con-
Me bye" said Chimmy., Il was down to
Tammany Hall the night O. tho big meeting. l
always vote the Republican ticket there"
| There was blood on the moon, and It looked
for few minutes IS il the white marble floor of
| the Fifth Avenue Hotel barroom might he
| splashed with it. Otto Irving Wise and Louis
o @na pSsed by n
down" ''N
couldn't turn nothing DOWN"
Grenner jumped up and snorted "You-you-
you" and clenched his fists.
ter s sSGas oa
MN What Sf did did ia ' say . I Soi s asked d"'fr friend
| there wasn't any moro fight in him. He Just
sat down"
II wish you wouldn't call me Senator now,"
said the candidate Yesterday. -" had father
once who ran for Judge and he used to tell me
that everybody called him Judge before election
and his opponent Judge after election. Now
Just quit 1t, won't you.'
Are you much acquainted with those silver
mine owners ?" asked the st. Paul man as he
pumped down on one of the sofas in the amen
corner of the Fifth Avenue Hotel. You amt,
| hcy2 Well, you ought to know them because
| II you did you'd know just what was going to
happen after election in case the Boy Orator
wins. know a lot OF them. and you can read
i right in their faces. they're Capt. Willough-
Capt. WillouRLby .wasf Why. he was the
| most proianc man that ever ran n boat on the
Mississippi. He couldn't say worc without
putting string Of oaths to i. Why, he was
TO ;he other; Well. one day he ran his boat on
bar at Davenport. She struck her nose
wouldn't bulge. The Captain thought
to the printing office in the town. and no had a
lot OF circulars printed inviting everybody to
attend a prayer meeting on board Capt. VIII
loughby's boat the Carrie. ! think she was.
The circular said the Captain would lead Well,
sir. the news that Capt. WiliouGhby had got re-
went around Ike wi!dfre. and at the hour
every man, woman. and child In tho town was
down by tho river. As fast us they could get
aboard the mate sent 'em aft, saying, Prayer
meeting II be back there About 800 had come
aboard when the old boat hoated, and then
Capt, Willoughby showed up, and says ho:
''''iit ashore you - - ---- -!
Git, every --- ----------! Go on,
This ---- .-------- - prayer meeting
- Is postponed! 10 on ashore. you Co.
II
well. these silver mine owners issued their
invitations to their prayer meeting at Chicago.