The sun., 1896-10-28
COMEDY OF THE CANVASS.
sENlToR TIM's $500 JNTEsTED
SAFELY BIZ WISE WOMAN.

day walking up and down tho corridor of tho
Fifth Avenue Hotel Acquaintance passed him
and spoke In passing, but not one of them did
ho notice. Night had arrived, and the incan-
descent lights In the wall near the ceiling
started up one after the other before he made
his way to his accustomed seat in the amen
pew. There he rested his elbows on his knees
and buried his face in his hands. His frame
shook with sobs and the hot tears splashed on
the marble floor and threatened to melt the
cement Deacon Hackett, the Chairman of tho
State Committee, Dwight Lawrence. Congress-
man Odell, and half dozen others stood at one
side watching him pityinRy and waiting to
hear what was coming. One of the bcllboys
rushed up with a mop. II was ten minutes be-
fore the st. Paul man was calm enough to pro-
coed.
Poor boy poor boy! oh. how my heart
bleeds for him." he began. Think of his fato.
Oh. me: oh. my! and so young, too. Poor
George Just think of running for Congress
and knowing that every man Of the few who
will vote for you will feel after he has done 1t
like poor Ole 0leson after he had run up against
the shell game"
The st. Paul man stopped to squeeze the tears
out of his handkerchief. and then went on:
"I'll give 1t to you Ole gave it to me. Ole
said: Val. Won day sarcus hay koom to town.
Aye tank ct been hell hne ting aye spend litta
pooulo. ASo keb hhh plhhtS kuuS LNchty uoiaiS.
Val. aye koom to sarcus. Aye find ono
man hay got soap game and aye find
noder .man hay got nut skell game.
Hay got litta box with nut skell har and nut
skel har and nut skell har. Hay all time
monkeyin' with litta ball. Val. bine bv hay
say Aye civ twenty for ten @ or ten for five where
lar bill" Val, hay kape monkeyin' litta ball.
Bneby aye stop him har. Say. vot you tank
ven hay take op nut skell aye don't find litta
ball. and aye lose ma plainly guide twenty dol.
lar bill ? Aye tank hay been dam thief. Next
time sarcus hay koom to town aye skoll go
bout twenty miles Up in country. Say, vot you
Now. just think Of it." said the st. Paul
man. Poor George. he's got the Tammany nut
skell and the sound money nut skell, and he's
monkeyinR with this little nomination ball,
foolin people into his game KNOWN that every
man he fools now will 60 bout twenty miles op
district again. This is the end of him forever.
Poor boy and such q nice young man, tool"
And the crowd felt like weeping with him.
These are hard DAYS for the spellbinders. In
deed Every man, woman, and child has Mt
some time or another during the campaign
heard the issues discussed. and 1t makes no
difference where the orator goes he finds crit
ioal audience that compares him with some
body else. Lee Fairchid and Walter Emerson
place where % the thev thought no 90 outsider had ever
been before. They were met at tho depot by
young man who explained that he was tho
Chairman OF the meeting. and he started at
them like this: !" Now. gentlemen. OF course I'll
have 10 know who you are so that can proper
Certainly" said Fairchild. My friend here
is a lineal descendant of Ralph Waldo Emerson
That's enough; that's enough" said the
young man. I've read Emerson since was
boy" and he proceeded IN a hftCen-minute
speech to tell the audience what great poet
and philosopher Emerson was. ending with.
to RISea
OF this distinguished man" Emerson went in
and made his speech. Before he finished the
Well" said FaFchild. i came from the old
Lee stock, famous in Revolutionary times. and
That's all right" said the Chairman. That's
enough: I've known all about the Lees and the
opportunity came he introduced Fairchild In a
fifteen minute speech full OF family history.
Farchild were going out they encountered two
men in the hallway where II was dark. One
ddne stick to- WnsS poery Fid and Ssns
We'll. snould say" said the other, and 1T
struck that the Lee and Fairchild families
have about reached the last run"
But Emerson and Farchild arc only two OF
the many spelbinders hearing truth. Warner
Miller is another one. One of Warmers friends
at the Fifth Avenue Hotel yesterday told about
Il meeting in the Hon. Jim Beden's district,
where WaTner soES and had 10 10 hurry hurry awnS to
up. he encountered farmer and walked along
with him. Learning ID that N,,i the farmer had at
We'll. what did you think OF the speech ?'
by gosh" said the farmer. that fellow
knew pretty near AS much as some OF them
hef" ' ''N' ''N
Mr.. Miller didn't ask any more questions.
There was another follow who made a speech
the other day at one OF the MONDAY sound
money meetings in Broadway He told q story
that had been told by some nineteen other ora
tors. The crowd was perfectly quiet until he
had finished. and then, in one voice, they sang:
In the days Of old kamcsss-
In HfS the yGS d"ys Sn af ota Ar ES1e.on s9I Sar
In the days OF old Rameses
That story had paresis:
Are you onf Are you on' Are you onf
"Timmy." said Mrs. Tim to her husband. the
Senator. when he came home the other night.
4 met Mrs. Mccarthy this afternoon. and she
be, me two pairs Of gloves that Bryan wouldn't
get place in the race, MI
McGarthyi Z, her husband. think that too2"
Here. now, that's a good girl" said the
right over to see Mccarthy n say To him: IN
be. you you hye hundred that Bryan gets place..
1t was noon the next, day before Tim ask cd
Mrs. Tim sboutit. did you sse Mccarthy 2"
II did not. love" said Mrs. Tim.
IN where Is the money 2"
first I've had from you since the Legislature
adjourned"
"Ah. ye buncoed me-" said Tim. But that's
all the good it did him.
"SeltZor must be happy man now" said a
visiting Congressman yesterday. why ?
Why, because he can talk all he wants to. l
was down last night and heard him talk for
half an hour without an objection. | rem.m her
his speech in Congress. He made one, you re.
member Well. ten minutes had been allotted
him. He spent the first two OF it in strikl an
attitude. with his hand between the buttons OF
his coat. He had just begun his introduction.
when bang went the Speakers ma let. The ten
minutes was up. Selizer pleaded and begged.
The Speaker paid no attention to him. Sell2er
Kept talking. AT the end OF five minutes Con-
grGssman Allen of Mississippi said: MIR.
Speaker. move that ten minutes more be al
lotted the gentleman from New York. 1t doesn't
hurt US and it seems to tickle him. So Seltzer
got the extra ten minutes, but he hadn't tin-
lshed his Introduction when bang the mallet
went again. The next day we all looked In the
Congressional Record for tho speech. 1t was all
there, and after the usual line. Here the ham
mer fell.' there were some four or five pages IL
was punctuated throughout IKE this; 'Ap-
plsuse;' great applause on tho Democratic
iIa. all do