The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1896-02-09
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 1896.
Compulsory Civilization

In issuing n proclamation requiring
all his subjects TO get their hair cut. the
king of Corea reveals the possession of
unexpected qualities of craftsmanship.
An enlightened, progressive and reso-
lutte monarch, he realizes that his peo-
pie do not occupy the right of line in
the march Of civilization; and he is pur-
suing a vigorous home policy with
view to showing them right up to the
front. BY abolishing their cues he be-
leves he is going TO the root of things.
He will not pull them up by the roots
not just yet; he trusts that mild and
conservative methods will avail but
should the reform encounter any degree
of obstinate resistance, he may reluct-
antly be obliged to resort to measures
that viii make the Coreans' hair stand
on end. at least during the process of
extraction.
In most countries civilization has
been of slow. uncertain, painful growth.
often attended with difficulties and dan
gers of a character to dismay the stout
est hearts. Millions of lives have been
sacrificed and billions of money spent
of the French Revolution were neces-
sary to establish so mucn as n popular
conception of the principles Of political
liberty, fraternity. equality and dam
foolery--the things themselves have
not yet been perfectly established any
where. But his royal highncss, La
Hung. King of Corea, has discovered n
short cut to civilization. La Hung. in
fact has civilization where the hair is
short. He reminds you somewhat OF
Ho TT. the immortal Chinaman who dis
covered roast pig.
According to the veracious version of
Ella. the Chinese nation had existed
and eaten raw meat for more than sew
enty thousand years before Ho I'll came
on earth. a few ages ago. with his dl-
vine mission of revealing to mankind
roast pig. And unlike La Hung. who
obviously is a skilled logician, equally
expert in handling a priori a postiori
and a paderewski methods of reason
ing, Ho I'll made his discovery 10y acct
dent. Ho tbs house caught fire one
day and burned down with all its con-
tents. including a SOW and her litter Of
nine plump pigs. In removing the de-
bris. Ho TT stumbled upon roast pig
Roast pig. indeed, was forced down his
throat and it's peculiarly palatable
properties upon his attention by cir
cumstances over which he had no con-
troll. He was so gratifed that there
after whenever a SOW assumed the
cares and duties OF maternity he drove
her family in, burned his house down
and invited his friends to the feast
Roast pig became a delicacy eagerly
sought after. and despite some dissent
on the part OF the insurance companies.
the custom took deep root throughout
all China, and lasted until few hun
dred years later. when another genius
arose and made the brilliant discovery
that the flesh OF an animal could be
cooked without burning a whole house
20 the ground.
King Hung knows a good thing when
he sees it. just as Ho I'll did when he
tasted it, and the determination OF the
ruler Of Corea 10 civilize his country
reflects credit upon his mind and heart.
Civilization and shears are going hand
and hand Throughout the realm. the
barber is the engine Of enlightenment.
and all traces Of savagery are TO be- re-
moved simultaneously with the hair.
Too much praise cannot be accorded
good King Hung for his singular sa-
gacity in knowing what ought TO b.
done and his splendid intrepidity in do
ing it. What though his radical policy
engenders opposition. and his minister
Of education has resigned, and larg
number Of his subjects are in open re
bellion. declaring a desire 10 sacrihca
their lives in preference TO their cues
Civilization is right. and the people