The record-union., 1896-11-07
THE ONLY GAME.
Peter McGOur0ck Gives Some Pointers
on Golf Playing.

on Golf Playing.
That evening, while Wilkinson was
smoking a pipe in his garden and try
ing to water a great oak with half
inch hose, emitting a quarter Of a pint
in five minutes, Peter McGourock looked
over the fence and passed the time o
day.
"Ye'u have a club here, OF course?"
asked Peter.
"Oh, rather!" replied Wilkinson: mo
end Of clubs. We've capital tennis
club, and croquet club, and a river
club, and a bicycle club, and
But Wilkinson drew up suddenly,
thrown on his launches. for the gray
eye of Peter McGourock, which should
have been ablaze with enthusiastic In
terest, was pale with strong contempt.
But how about The Club?" he asked.
"Club?" said Wilkinson; 'why-well,
we've all those clubs-what more"
II was not asking about these treevial
things" said McGourock. Where's
your Golf Club7"
"Eh? Oh-why-we haven't-er-ex-
actly any golf club-that is, not just yet.
Is it good sort of gamer" said poor
Wilkinson.
Peter looked him all over, very slow
ly; then looked the hose all over, very
slowly; then Wilkinson's garden; then
Wilkinson's house, right up to the top Of
the new Louvre pot; then, repeating
very slowly, good-sort-of
gamer" he turned away and disap-
peared into his drawing-room.
For days after that poor Wilkinson,
while watering the big oak with the
half-inch hose, would cast furtive
glances at The McGourock tapping the
little white ball into the little hole In
the lawn; and at times he could per-
ceive. with the tail Of his eye, Peter Nc
Gourock eyeing him over, or portions of
his property; and at times he could
hear the muttered words, les ct good
SORT of gamer"
At length Wilkinson made a heroic
effort to put matters on less painful
footing; he looked over the fence at
Peter, who was doing something to a.
golf iron with file, and said cheerfully,
but with dreadful nervousness within:
IF it-er-when you could spare ten
minutes. I should take it as a favor
II you would teach me to play golf"
Ten minutes. We say?" said Peter,
using that horrid eye of his.
We'll, well-of course I don't mean
to say I could learn in ten minutes
pa! ha!-ridiculous, OF course" said
poor Wilkinson. But II you'd kindly
teach me the stroke"
"Sir-r." said Peter, "a man cannot
be taught golf!"
"Well-of course I don't mean to say
that is-but fellow might try to
learn"
Golf" said Peter, "is not a thing
that man can learn
We'll, but-hang it alli-how do peo-
pie ever play? People do play golf,
don't they?"
"Play?" said Peter, land what might
ye mean by 'play'?"
observation-disclosures It! Don't you
see people knocking confounded little
white balls over confounded obstacles
with things like that you're fling at? ?'
Poor Wilkinson was turning. Even
Wilkinsons will turn
"Ah," replied Peter. "ye see people do
that-and many's the number Of them:
but ye talked Of playing. Sir-r! Ell a
man begins golf when he's put into
short clothes and devotes his life to
1t Excepting the Sabbath only, that
was specially ordained for him to re-
paint balls and see to things), and If
cts granted to that man at the close
OF long life to arrive at the knowl-
edge that he knows nothing of golf,
that man can die happy man; and
when he's finally holed he will not have
lived in vain. Ay!" continued Peter
suddenly, ''et es good SORT Of game;
it's just a gran game; It's just the
only game" -Badminton Magazine.