The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-10-18
HUMOROUS REFLECTIONS
ON TaE PRXSENr P0IfrfCAL COM
PLICfYfONS.
The Political Gospel Wagon-Ihe Picture
That Was Taken From the Nah-ihe
Comedy Of The Challenges,

Ever since ,l.s campaign opened ] have
been thanNag my lucky stars tnat pos
,.ess.d ana unusually large Amount OF in-
telect Presidential campaigns always
lrinS thc intelligent and hrainy people Co
;he front and they either get positions
IN the Cabinet or are forced to carry the
banner end walk around ON their unrer1
untu job comes along their way.
Generally tAo man that does sI tna
halio.ng and carries The biggest and
heaviest transparency in the parade is
the man that walks ON bis unpcrs IN
after days. while the QUIT plrllin Who
keeps Ia out of the race and doesn't open
his mouth and put his foot in ID 500 the
mass meetings is thc man that catches
the snap.
If there were no fat jobs laying around
loose IN politics few Of us fellows wouic
bee found lining zap on election day. Nlnc-
ty-nine out OF every hundred ol Us ,,-
pect some recognition for the valuable
services We voluntarily give for tac -rans
and glorious cause and s. ac ilr % rCt
the post-oiiice or something else. we so
rght on and offer our services TO th'
other fellow
HIS GOOD SENSE.
And right here is where 1 show my
good sense. / aiut saying much but
Just saving wood. 7 could have hrcl 70
big wagon and decorated il with tcn-cent
flags and japanese lanterns and other
things. and could have secured package
Of political tracts from my friend. the
secretary. and induced quartette Of
jealous midnight howicrs 10 accompany
me 10 OREGON ILL., And ] could have
spoken Just as good speech as did my
other worthy Alderman. But. no. When
become a candidate for the post-oilco.
] won't attempt TO ride in on mission
airy wagon with a gang of jubilee SING
ers. Too much noise. my son. Stil
water runs deep and shallow streams
mako mighty heap Of noise
This is the funniest campaign ] have
ever experienced There are SO many
different parties and so many splits I'm the
old party that a fellow don't know whore
he stands. Like that Fulton club that
had their platform stolen from hem rnd
are now going around looking for "a
place upon which 10 stand. To strikes
me that with a dozen or so different par
tics and "a dozen or 50 platforms the
loss Of one insignificant affair would he
the last thing I'm the world 10 worry over.
Thcro we have Nhe Pops the DENT
Mons the Socialists. the Silveritcs. the
colditos. the National Democrats. the
prohibe and the Republicans. and several
states still TO hear from. not 10 me- 'ii
the platforms OF abuse expanded IT,!
-ror,-Tom. Of Georgia. This is Inc as
eorfmont 20 choose from and the I'D"
mat can't choose ont Of that loo-io'.
wants 10 shake tho dust OF ihis floi
United States from his clo-l % .l'
himself TO Kansas. where pionap's wi Do
Mary Ellen can fiN him mp. ANA
WHERE WILL YOU BE AT?
nH f.F
- so,trros will have been chopped
l'-i' and everybody stops 70 reflect. ihe
Question o, ,,n will naturally arise. with apollo
Si's 90 ~, -loIodv will know whore he is
az" We viii an be I'm tho position ..',,,e o5 %
5 li honor. Mayor Dick when me he q ,ooo,
mat remark at the recent Jones "'''-
ing. -, q eil,er Ropub-