The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-02-25
AMISFIT EDUCATION.
1t Cost a Great Deal. but the Youth Was
Not In Demand.

Not In Demand.
The yout hful applicant was flesh from
Harvard.
$50 you wish to enter my employ, ehf'
said the gJ'uf Mr. Goldbrick, the million
aire manufacturer, sitting back in his
chair and pausing a moment from the ar
duous task of signing checks, bossing the
foreman through the phone and debating
terms of peace to the arbitration commit
tee On the strike all at the same time
"Yes, SIR said the classically domed
and Brummelian groomed man of the
college sheepskin, shaking his chrysanthe-
mumed brow.
'Ahem % resumed the magnate. What
are your qualifications? Can you run up
a ten foot column of figures three at
timer
"Welf-er-no, - responded the youth.
"But can read Thuoydides backward"
Don't know him. No friend of mine.
Is he rated in BradstPeet So"
''Then don't want to know him. It's
only live men that have anything to do
with this place. Now, then, can you run
back over two years accounts and find an
error of 2 cents?''
I'm afraid not, but I know every
tackle in the football game, and''-
Football? Who sold anything about
football? I'm trying to find out how
can use you. You won't do in the count
ing room, can see that. Perhaps I can
use you in the factory. What do you know
about handling men?'
II was at the head of the Phi Beta
Kappa society
ooh, ratsl I mean, what do you know
about strikes?''
Everything. I was umpire in the COL
''Boshi Can yeu arbitrator
"CeEtainly. When our crew was fouled
in the Face''-
sob, nonsensel This is no cup contest.
It's a Snatter of dollars and cents. 1 find
cans put you in the factory, as you don t
know anything about the conflict between
can I make use of you? You see, my
young friend, we haven't any use for the
hifalutin knowledge you have gained at
college, and that's unfortunate. You
have, however, developed a remarkable
physique and doubtless stand very high in
your class in athletics.'
do l? Well, now! I hold the broad
jump record against all corners, and for
throwing the hammer 1 am second to
none. Take hold of that arm. How's
that for highly developed muscle?''
"Finel" exclaimed the millionaire
but as we don't need any bouncer in our
establishment 1 see only one place open to
a man of your superior but somewhat linn
tied attainments.
what is it, sir?''
'Yop say that you are willing to go to
work at anything?''
Yes, sir, anything that gentleman
would not shrink from and would assure
me living. for am determined to make
my own way in the world from now on. -
GOOD. Well, sir, L will make you head
porter in the shipping warehouse''-
What! Me?''
Eyes. don't know where else you will
find yourself al home in our establishment,
and yet don't want to turn away a bril-
liant college graduate. You will find that
in packing goods, singing cases. thump-
ing drivers and other refined and classic
jobs like that you will call into play all
your superior athletic and intellectual at
tainments, and of course there is chance
to work up, SO that some day you may
even be janiJor Of the whole establishment
and thus become a mighty power in tho
world
But with a deep groan the Harvard
graduate rolled up his sheepskin and saun-
tered away, muttering: -Four years at
1900 year only to become a porter
Whewl"
And yet some people say that modern
college education pays.-New York World.