davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-02-20

'os''~s sONh ORsNSs
Final Arrangements. - Friend
"Have you signed the contract?" Ac-
tress-"Yes. The manager agrees to
allow the expense of two diamond rob-
berries and one divorce. brooklyn
Life.
-"That," exclaimed the Zig fish to
the little fish, sis the fish who slipped
off the hook just as they were pulling
him out of the water, They tell great
stories about him."-Detroit Tribune.
-Maude-"You wouldn't know my
beau now If you met him." Nell
"Why, has he changed so much as
that?' Maude-"That isn't it exactly.
I've changed him."-Philadelphia Rec
crd.
"A Home Thrust Herr Becker
"Marie, 1t strikes me you wnste lot
of precious time with your poodle!"
Frau Becker-"Poor creature! l often
feel sorry for him. He has no club to
so to of an evening and amuse himself
four or five hours at stretch."--
Deutscher Soldatenhort.
-"I suppose" said the preacher, a
little out of patience, shat when the
last trump blows it will find good
many Of my congregation asleep"
"Well," replied one of the deacons,
81 reckon it all depends on who is do
ing the preaching at that particular
moment" t."-Yonkers Statesman.
-Neighbor-"What beautiful hens
you have, Mrs. Stuckup." Mrs. Stuck.
up-"Yes, they are all imported fowls. y
Neighbor-"You don't tell me so! ]
suppose they lay eggs every day?'
Mrs. Stuckup (proudly)-"They could
90 so If they saw proper, but our cir
oumstances are such that my hens are
not required to lay eggs every day.
Texas Siftings.
-Dumley - "Townley was looking
for you to-day, Brownley. He sails fol
Australia tomorrow, where he intend,
settling, and he wanted to collect fivt
pounds you owe him." Brownley-
"Yes; saw him little while ago.
promised to forward him the money
by the next mail" Dumley-"In wha
part of Australia does he expect to set
tle?" Brownley-"Well,really dom
know; didn't ask m."-Tit-Bits.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-02-20
lTH AND POINT.
ever told me Miss Fairgirl
thlete." "Well, is she 2"
las thrown me ovor."-Tit-

old Lady-"Now, don't for
Lctor. l want the Bank of
Conductor -".All right,
Aside) She don't wnnt much,
Ate ~-Punch.
k(fngering the keys of the pi-
DO you play much, Mr.. Raw
He -"No; not under the new
aws-er, that is, yes; play the
me."-Town Topics.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1896-08-12
]. 7. WaterhOuSe

This is the go-away sea-
son, the time when town life
and home comforts begin to
wear on the average man
and woman to any extent
that life is a burden. Trunks
and valises are travelling re-
quisites and good only when
you get a good one. Ours
for under-berth or the bag
gage room are r0omy and the
best made box you ever had.
Cheap too.
Cretonnes, both sides
alike, are capital things for
curtains or couch covers
The kind made in England
leads the world in price and
quality; we handle no other.
A dozen patterns for you to
select from, and the price
will win you.
Dry goods are queer
things to handle if you don't
buy right. But they are
procured from the factories
and save middlemen's prices;
they're all right. Our Eng
lish wooden shirts and
sweaters, balbriggan and
wooden, adapted to this eli
mate as we'll as umbrellas
for men and women come
under this head.
Corduroy for riding
breecheS is not obtainable in
every shop in Honolulu; we
make a specially of it and
challenge anyone to produce
as good a quality at the same
price. Nottingham lace cur
tainS, new patterns just re-
ceived, full length from
SI.25 a pair upwards. Mad
rasS curtains, regular beau
ties as to pattern and quail
ity. Full length from So a
pair up. These are bargains.
What about Pears soap !?
We sell it.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1896-08-12
PAUL NEUMANN'S MISSION.
Going to Guatemala i'll Interests of
Hawaiian Trade.
Detained in san Francisco by Temper
airy Unrestricted by Bust
ness Men.

Paul Neumann, who was Attorney
General of Hawaii under King Kala-
kaua, and who since the death of that
monarch has been the legal adviser of
the Queen, was a passenger on the
steamer Monowai, which arrived yes
terday from Honolulu, says the Chroni-
Gle of Aug. l. He was taken i'll on the
steamer while en- route to San Fran
cisco, and Immediately upon his ar
rival yesterday he summoned DR.. Morse
and placed himself under the care of
that physician. The distinguished law
yeT and adviser to the Queen is now
patient at the Palace Hotel, and his
illness is of such a nature that he will
be kept confined to his bed for some
days to come. Mr.. Neumann has been
in feeble health for some time past.
His physicians in Honolulu insist that
he is troubled with diabetes, but he
prefers to believe that his ailment is
in the nature of a slight stomach trou-
BILE.
Edmond Neumann, druggist on Cal
ifOrnia street, who is brother of the
Honolulu lawyer, was present at the
patients bedside all day yesterday He
says that his brothers trip to San
Francisco was made at his earnest So
licitation. He thinks that a few months
absence from the tropical climate of the
Hawaiian Islands will prove beneficial
to his brothers health.
Paul Neumann will go from here to
Guatemala as soon as his health will
4 l..
He says that he has not come here
solely for his health. He has been adj
vised that steamer line may be start
ed to run between Guatemala and the
Orient, and he intends visiting Guate-
mala to induce the promoters of the
| enterprise to run their steamers into
Honolulu. In this, it is said, he is
backed by certain large business inter
ests in Honolulu.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1896-08-12
A QUEER CASE.
August Schaefer Arrested for Run
nlng Away With a Chain.

August Schaefer, a lad of about Il
years, was arrested yesterday for in
vestigation in matter that is puZzling
the heads of members of the detective
force.
Three lads, accompanied by the grown
sister of one of the number, laid in a
complaint against August to the effect
that he did, on the afternoon of Mon
day last, run away with a gold watch
chain while the three little boys men
toned were negotiating for sale.
The story of the three boys is sub
stantially as follows: That August was
talking with them on the sidewalk near
the Club Stables, and that upon their
asking him to give them a certain sum
for it he took to his heels and said he
would take the chain and pay for it
later
1t was no easy matter to get a story
out of August, but after much persua-
sion he said that the other boys had
offered him the chain for five cents,
and that just as joke he had run away
with it, and later had sold it to Tom
Carey for twenty-five cents.
AS the chain was an article very
much wanted at police headquarters,
an officer was sent up and obtained the
article from Carey, who explained later
that he had taken it for a German silver
chain and had bought it at what he
thought was a bargain, for the purpose
of making a dog collar for his cat. The
boy identified the chain as the one he
had sold Carey.
The big sister of one of the boys who
were instrumental in losing sight of
the chain aff1rms that it was a gold one.
The detectives are trying to find out
which of the parties concerned has an
affection Of the retina of the eye.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1896-08-12

Six weeks ago 1 suffered with a very
severe cold; was almost unable to
speak. My friends all advised me to
consult a physician. Noticing Cham
berlain's Cough Remedies advertised
in the st. Paul Volks Zeitung, l pro-
cured a bottle, and after taking it a
short while was entirely we'll I now
most heartily recommend this remedy
to anyone suffering with a cold. VIM
KEEL. 67S Selby ave-, ST. Paul, Mimi
For sale by all druggists and dealers
Benson, Smith & Co., Agents for H. l.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
couldn.t Do It Himself.

A famous English physician, Sir
James Crichton Brown, has risen up as
an opponent of the higher education of
women. Two years ago, he says, he
met high school girl who was reading
"Lucretius" for recreation, but she
failed lamentably when he asked her to
boil potato. Quite possibly Sir James
would have been equally unfortunate
had he been asked to boil the potato
himself, or, to cite more masculine
employment, to hitch up his own horse.
It is impossible for one person, whether
man or woman. to acquire all the ac-
complishments, but if a woman sue
ceeds with her higher education, as
many of them have succeeded, she can
afford to pay for having her potatoes
boiled. This is now SO well understood
and conceded that the opposition to
woman's advancement is confined al
most exclusively to the ultra conserva-
tives, Of whom Sir James Crichton
Brown appears to be a type. pe.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
WARNS THE CABLE SLOT.

Man With New Kind of Job Arouses
Interest In Broadway.
A new vocation came into existence
last night with the cold weather. In the
future the man who adopts it will be
known as slot warmer. The Metropol-
itan Traction company put its first
slot warmer to work at O'Clock last
night, at Thirty fifth street and Broad
way, where the gripmen on the Broad
way railroad pick up the curve cable.
1t was the slot warmers duty to see
that the cable slot at the Thirty-ffth
street curve was kept clear Of ice. Once
the slot had frozen over and caused a
block on the line.
The railroad managers decided that
such thing should never occur again,
and the slot warmer was put to work.
Armed with a bag of cotton waste and
can filed with kerosene oil he started
bonfire along the up town track. The
fire was 25 feet lcGg, and burned con
tinually over the cable slot.
From time to time the slot warmer
kept feeding the fire with fuel from his
bag of cotton waste and can of oil Pc
destrians stood and watched his actions.
wondering what he was doing, and the
passengers in the cable cars left their
seats and stood up, just little bit
frightened. when the car dashed around
the curve and over the flames The slot
warmer said he had been employed to
keep the fire burning all night.-New
York Sun.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
A WICKED CITY.
Ministers Engage the Salvation Army to
Reform Arcola, Ills.

Ministers Engage the Salvation Army to
Reform Arcola, Ills.
The ministers of the various churches
in Arcola, Ills. have declared their in
ability to bring about satisfactory re-
ligious results. They claim the city is
growing worse daily and that immoral
ity is visible everywhere; that hell holes
and dens Of vice are running the major
ity of the young men. They further
claim that the churches are powerless to
remedy the situation, and have settled
on a new and novel method of action.
At secret conference of the ministers
of the city it was decided to secure the
services of Salvation Army band from
indianapolis to assist in the work. The
duty Of the Salvationists will be to make
a personal canvass of the stepped in sin
element and endeavor to lead them into
the path of righteousness.
The movement is Endorsed by promi-
nent church members, who believe much
good may be accomplished. Chicago
Times-Herald.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
GROVER GOES DUckING.
But This Time It Was In Secretary Hoke
Smiths Dining Room.

But This Time It Was In Secretary Hoke
Smiths Dining Room.
President Cleveland went on another
ducking trip the other night. Mrs.
Cleveland accompanied him this time.
They left the White House at an early
hour and returned very late. 1t was en-
joyed also by the entire cabinet, for ev
cry one of the presidents advisers saw
him as he held gun in his hand and
watched three ducks floating on the wa
ter. The gun was about seven inches
long, and the ducks were Of papier
mache.
The water was in an artificial lake
which had been built in the center Of
Secretary Hoke Smiths dining room ta-
Bile and filled with not only ducks. hut
small live fish of the kind which the
president loves to catch. Beside the toy
gun there was at the presidents plate a
miniature fishing rod in order that he
might enjoy himself if the ducks got
away. Everything was planned to make
him happy.
Usually cabinet dinners are very form
al affairs, but it was the secretary of
the interiors turn to give one that
night, and Mr.. and Mrs. Hoke Smith
decided to provide few novelties. They
designed sure enough lake, which was
10 feet long by 8 feet wide and several
inches deep.
A florist built grofto in the center
of Maryland rocks. covered it with
ferns and orchids and carried out the
humorous ideas of the secretary very
successfully. A 10 cent tin man-of-war
was anchored in front of the secretary
of the navy's plate. Penny cannons
frowned over breastworks of stones at
the secretary of war; coils of red tape
were strung along in front of the secre-
tary Of state; a girl with her eyes band
aged was sleeping off dock opposite At
torney General Harmon. Secretary of
Agriculture Morton gazed on little
wooden farmer pouring seeds down a
hole in the rocks instead of into con-
gressmen s districts. Postmaster Gen
eral Wilson confronted a mermaid who
seemed to want to deliver letter from
the Deep Little gold dollars studded
an old Kentucky home in the cliffs
which Secretary Carlisle faced. Over
all blazed huge Maltese cross with 45
electric lights, emblematic Of the 40
states. -Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
MAYOR CHALLENGED.
A schoolboy Asks Him to Enter Com
petitive Examination.

A Schoolboy Asks Him to Enter q Com
petitive Examination.
Mayor Patrick Jerome Gleason of
Long Island City has been challenged
to competitive examination by one Of
the scholars of an Astoria school.
The challenger is Frank 81. Ward, II
years old, who lives at 208 Hoyt ave-
nue., Astoria He attends the Astoria
school, and was among those who wait
ed upon tHe big mayor the other day,
asking to have former Principal Martin
Joyce reinstated.
The mayor asked Ward to designate
the city's public buildings, and the boy
replied that the county Jail was one OF
them. The mayor scored Ward and his
principal for this, and the youth went
away looking for redress.
The other afternoon he walked into
the city hall and inquired for the mayor.
Gleason's private secretary. Philip j.
Coffey, told him that Gleason was get
ting rid of Newtown Greek, malaria
down at Lakewood, N. j.
"When he comes in, give him this.
See?" the boy commanded.
The neatly written challenge was as
follows:
LONG ISLAND CITY, Feb II.
To Hon. P. J. Gleason, Mayor Of Long Island
City:
!, the undersigned. propose to compete with
you in examination upon the studies we
are now pursuing-namely, arithmetic, geog-
raphy, grammar, spelling and writing-be-
cause you claim that we cannot bound Long
Island City and that we began designating the
public buildings in the city by naming the
county jail. Respectfully yours,
FRANK 81. WARD.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
She Built a Church.

Mrs. Althia Hultz of Artimus, KY,
has built a church through her own
efforts alone. A year ago she made up
her mind that church was need. She
asked help from the miners. but they
were poor to a man. Nothing daunted,
she set to work. She gathered berries,
tramped across the mountains and sold
them. She raised a pig and calf and
donated them both. In every way in
her power she toiled for the good end.
Last fall she begged of the miners again,
but this time for work. She met with a
ready response. A tract Of land was
bequeathed. Lumber was given. The
little store Of savings did the rest. The
church is now under roof. Little more
has been done, but it is church which
one day will be complete, and Mrs.
Hultz has her reward.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
"BOCk" BEER.
How the Beverage Is Brewed and Pre-
pared For the Trade.

How the Beverage Is Brewed and Pre-
pared For the Trade.
"Bock'' beer is the keynote of history
of beer brewing as it is understood by
the people of this day. It is generally
supposed that beer is Of distinctively
German origin, whereas it is fact that
beer was brewed by the men of many
nationalities in many parts of the world
centuries before the Christian era. The
Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans,
made beer from corn and barley in those
ancient times. The lager beer Of the
Germans was a Bavarian product and
"bock" beer originated in Bavaria.
We have heard number of stories as
to the origin of the term "bock" beer,
and while they all vary as to detail, they
are as a rule correct. When beer was
first brewed in Bavaria and for long
time afterward in that and all other
parts of the world, ice formed no part
in the manufacture, though it was very
necessary that it should be fermented
and stored in cold temperature. As ice
was not relied upon to make this cold
air and as artificial refrigeration was not
dreamed of, brewing was done only in
cold weather, and the beer was stored in
chill vaults underground. Here it was
left to age until some time in spring.
say the latter part of April or the begin
ming of May, when the vaults were
thrown open and the thirsty public was
regaled with pure, wholesome draft of
the foamy beverage. And as the first
issue from these vaults was stronger and
liable to go to the head, the people were
said to be booked hence the name.
Another version of the story is that
when the vaults were thrown open,
buck jumped out and that gave rise to
the name and also to the widely adFer-
tised civilian" goat who adorns the
"bock" beer signs of the present day.
But "bock" beer season is a time of
sentiment to the Germans, and other
people have imbibed the sentiment with
the dark and heavy drink. They want
"bock" beer at the proper time and
they will drink it then and enjoy it,
Wine and Spirit journal, -
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
JosEPHlNE's ExTRAvAGANcE.
Even the Emperor Napoleon Was Both
cred by Dressmakers' Bills.

Even the Emperor Napoleon Was Both
cred by Dressmakers' Bills.
Throughout the late summer and au-
tumn of 1907 the imperial court was
more stately than ever before. The old
nobility became assiduous in their at
tendance, and, as one of the empress la
dies in waiting is said to have remarked,
the court received Poad company.
On his return Naroleon had found jose
phine's extravaganza to be as unbound
ed as ever, but he could not we'll COM
plain, because although for the most
part frugal himself, he had this time
encouraged lavishness in his family.
Still, it was not agreeable to have dress
makers bills flung into his carriage
when driving in state with his consort,
and on enc occasion he sent an unpfin-
cipled but clever milliner to the prison
of Bicetre for having disobeyed his. or
ders in furnishing her wares to the em-
press at exorbitant prices. The person
was SO indispensable to the court ladies,
however, that they crowded her cell,
and she was soon released.
At st. Cloud, Malmaison, the Tuile-
ries and Fontainebleau the social vices
of courts began to appear, but they were
sternly repressed, especially high play.
By way of contrast, the city of Paris
was at that very moment debauched by
a profusion of gambling hells and
houses of prostitution licensed at an
enormous figure by Fouche and produc-
ing great revenues for the secret police.
The gorgeous state uniforms of the
marshals, the rich and elegant costumes
of the ladies, the bespangled and begilt
coats of the household, dancing, theat-
ricals, concerts and excursions-all
these elements should have combined to
create brilliancy and gayety in the i'm
perial circle, but they did not. Life
of Napoleon, by Professor Sloane, in
Copt1ry
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
sTEvENsoN's MoDEsTY.
The Novel1st's Opinion of Himself rs Ex.
pressed In His Letters.

The Novelist's Opinion of Himself as Ex.
pressed In His Letters.
There is one passage in Louis Steven
sons correspondence which it would
have been thousand pities to miss. So
much nonsense has been written about
Stevenson s work, he was made the VIC
tim while he lived of such an extrava-
CANT system of putting, that those who
did not know him were almost inevita-
bly, forced to associate him with his
> fiatterers and to believe that he must
see himself with their eyes. It is clear
that he did not. His most exacting
critic can hardly have judged him more
sternly than he judged himself.
"For the nonce my skill deserts me,
such as it is, or was. It was very lit
tie dose of inspiration, and a pretty lit
tie trick of style, long lost, improved
by the most heroic industry. So far /
have managed to please the journalists.
But I am fictitious article, and have
long known it. am read by journal
lists, by my fellow novelists, and by
boys. With these, incipit ct explicit my
vogue. Good thing anyway, for it seems
to have sold the edition. do not
think it is possible to have fewer illu-
sions than L sometimes wish I had
more. They are amusing. But cannot
take myself seriously as an artist. The
limitations are SO obvious.
1t is not often one finds popular au-
thor writing in such a strain-an au-
thor, too, whom there seemed general
conspiracy among the reviewers to spoil.
What contrast it is to the following
extract from the touching epilogue add
ed to these letters by his editor and
friend:
''The fragment on which he wrought
during the last month of his life gives
to my mind, as it did to his own, for
the first time the full measure of his
powers, and if in the literature of ro-
nance there is to be found work more
mastery, of more piercing human in
sight or more concentrated imaginative
vision and beauty, I do not know it. !"
Macmillan Magazine.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21

Why not be well woman this
spring?
There are women who cannot tolerate
the smallest neglect about the house
who too often take no care of their
health.
They should use these precious March
days for getting strong and we'll by
taking Paine's celery compound-the
greatest of all spring remedies.
Miss Elsie M. Brown of Leeds st. +,
Dorchester, Mass, whose picture is
given above, wrote the 9th of this
month as follows:
-Four or five years ago, suffered
with dreadful pains in my back lowing
to my kidneys, SO much so that night
after night could not close my eyes,
and what few hours sleep did get, l
could be heard moaning and tossing,
showing that even in my sleep. l
suffered pain. At times | would have
more pain than usual over my left
hip eand when waking in the morning
it would be all l could do to stretch
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1896-05-21
TESLA is RETICENT.

Has Q New Invention, but Refuses to Tell
About It.
The friends of Nicola Tesla, the cleo
trical wizard, are saying he has develop
ed the K ray idea until he is now able
to pass solid through solids, and had
gone so far as to patent his inventions
before giving them to a waiting world.
Tesla was asked about his new dis
coveries. He would only say that he was
working quietly, and had strong hopes
Of developing something valuable. He
declared he was not through with his in
vestigations, and could make nothing
public. The idea of forcing solids
through solids badly expressed what he
was trying to do, unless ether was con-
sidered solid, which it was, scientifical
ly considered.
He excused himself from talking fur
ther about his discoveries by saying it
had ever been his practice to give the
public the news only after he had made
it known through scientific society. It
was also reported that Tesla had sue
ceeded in photographing the human
brain through the skull. This the elec-
trician denied with positiveness. New
York Journal.