Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1896-05-16

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'Ounty Board EmpIoye.. Ex.ciiy .ea,er; county
E u,rn AGENT poll
cOOns. FIVE squirrels and hundred
pounds Of honey" We presume that
q closer examination will also disclose
a copy Of "Gulliver's Travels" some.
where IT. that outfit.
An Ohio man shut himself up In his
office safe In order to avoid the sollcita.
lions Of life insurance agent. The
latter was patient and remained In the
Office over an hour. and when lie depart.
cd 1t was discovered that the man In
the safe was unconscious. lie Is In
a very critical condition and liable to
die. ana his family IRE very sorry TINT
the life insurance man didn't catch him
for n big policy. We expect to see this
story In the repertoire Of every enter.
prisiny life insurance man.
A New York newspaper mentions
George Munro, founder of the dime
novel. In the same breath with Dante.
Homer, Burns. Milton, Keats AMI Poe.
rs zone Of the bencfactors Of the human
mcc." Who did Munro ever bencfact
other than the vendors Of bowie knives.
Winchester rifles. sOmbreros and war
paint!
Tmnce. never too gallant when the
essentials of cmnnlOOd are ut issue.
has tdst decided judiclally that Mt 30
an unmarried woman becomes an "old
maid" In our far more favored M.
ton u young person not welded ut that
age Is just budding into the. ripeness Of
wOmInhOOd.
About the time when the European
powers have got Africa evenly divided.
cleared up the Oriental problem. re-.
formed China and decided how to re-.
gard the Monroe doctrine they may he
able 10 take hand In protecting mis-.
siOnaries and Armenians In Turkey.
A Washington dispatch says that a
prominent resident Of that place has
been discovered to be violently insane.
and It IL now thought that he hns been
mentally unbalanced for several years"
OF c0nisc such thing would not easily
be noticed In Washington.
A street car conductor In New York
was knocked down the other day by
Col. Robert Fitxsimmons and, just to
show his magnanlmity. the latter r..
fused to charge anything for the ad-
vertiscment.
A Chicago man claims to have invent.
cd a device by which prize fighting can
be made perfectly harmless. COrbett
and FitxsImmOns probably are using
this invention on the quiet.
And now they shy that the Venezue.
Inn blue book has been tempered with.
and TINT the facts have been distorted.
We are not surprised: the SchOmburgx
line itself was crooked.
England has Just submitted pow.
erful argument In favor OF interim tlOn.
nj arbitration. 1t takes the form Of u
budget appropriating $7O,OOO,OOO for
new men-Of-war.
The window shade manufa ctarers
have formed trust. 1t ought to he
pretty easy for that combination to
keep the public In the dark concerning
Its movements.
An CnviOus st. Louis contemporary
asserts that several Chicago families
have Joined colony In the Holy Land.
but no one In Chicago knows where II
h." Jerusalem!
| A theatrical contemporary announces
that "Natan's Kingdom" was wrecked
In New Jersey the other day. The fng.
ments ought to feel quite ut home there.
Mr.. MadIson's hired girl has new
pair Of shoes. says the Grafton IN. D.,
Record. Somebody ought to call Mrs.
MadisOn's attention to this.
Before ambitious Mr.. Chamberlain
goes further with his project to ICON.
quer the soudan," We advise him to
study the life Of Chinese Gordon.
/, 1t Ia understood that King Menelek
of A5yssinia Is seriously considering
establishing a prOtectorate over Italy.
Alameda, Cal, bOasts of n ghost that
rides a bicycle. Probably n "scorcller''
straight from hades.
There are people using DObbins' Elec-
tric Soap to-day who commenced It's use
III 1868. Would this be the case were 1t
not the purest ana most economical
soap made? Ask your grocer for II.
Look ont for limitations. DObbins'.
The Chicago and Alton Can Send Win.
ter Tourists In Through Pullmaa
Sleeping Cara,
IN To California through
q n sunlit, verdant fields
ONHR isieSs scent %' Of e sss ss.
and roses; to Hot Springs, Ark, via the
shortest and most comfortable route;
and to Texas Via the most direct and