Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1896-05-20

am not especially proud of the name, for il
conveys the idea to strangers that am law.
less, profane and dangerous man. People who
judge mo by the brief and bloody name alone
instinctively shudder and examine their fire
arms. 1t suggesvs daring, debauehery and de-
hanee to the law. Little children are called in
when am known to be at large. and day of
Tasting is announced by tho governor of the
state. Strangers seek TO entertain me by show.
Ing me the choice iniquities of their town.
Eminent criminals ask me to attend their ex.
ecution and assist them In accepting their re-
spectiYe dooms. Amateur criminals ask me to
revise their work and to suggest improve.
ments.
All this is the cruel result of an accident,
for am not that kind of q man. Had my work
been the same, done over the signature Of
"Taxpayer" or "Vox Populi," how different
might have been the result Seeking as am
In my poor, weak way, to make folly appear
foolish and to make men better by speaking
unexpectedly of their errors, do not deserve
to be regarded even by strangers ~ tough or
terror, but rather as plain, law abiding
American citizen, who begs leave to subscribe
himself yours for the public veal,
EDGAR WILSON NYR
In politics Bill Nye was Republican,
but he never let his political creed show
itself in his writings. In fact, Demo-
Gratis are the largest readers of his books.
One day asked him what he thought
of the Democratic party.
"The Democratic party" he repeated,
"the Democratic party. Why, Demo-
crat keeps our drug store over there, and
when little girl burned her arm against
the cook stove, and her father went after
a package of Russia salve, this genial
drug store Democrat gave her box of
rough ON rats. What the Democratic
party needs" said Mr.. Nye, "is not SO
much new platform us carload of as
sorted brains that some female seminary
had left over. s"
An Englishman was talking with
Mr.. Nye in Laramie about English and
American humor.
"In my opinion" said tho English
man, "the humor Of the United States,
if closely examined, will be found to
depend, i'll great measure, on the as
tendency which the principle of utility
has gained over the imaginations of a
rather imaginative people. -
"Just so, !" replied Bill, land, accord
ing to my best knowledge, the humor of
England, if closely examined, will be
found just about ready to drop over the
picket fence into the arena, but never
quite making connections. If we scan
the English literary horizon, we will
find the humorist up tall tree, depend
ing from sharp knot thereof by the
slack of his uveralls. He is just out of
sight at the time you look in that direc-
tion. He always has man working in
his place, however. The man who works
in his place is pairing down the half sole
and newly pegging joke that has re-
Gently been sent in by the foreman for
repairs. ;"
On the occasion of my visit to Lara
mic Mr.. Nye introduced me to my Lara
mie audience. His introduction was like
this:
Ladies' and gentlemen, I am glad
that it has devolved upon me tonight to
announce that we are to have an inter
esting lecture on lying by one of the
most distinguished (there was pause,
for Mr. Nye's infection indicated that
he had finished, and the audience roared
with delight, SO that it was some time
before the sentence was concluded) lee
turers from the east. "
Mr.. Nye continued: "We have our
ordinary country liars In Laramie, but
Mr.. Perkins comes from the metropolis.
Our everyday liars have fine record.
We are proud of them, but the uncul-
tured liars of the prairie cannot BIZ ex-
pected to cope with the gifted and more
polished prevarioators from the cultured
east Ladies and gentlemen, permit me
to introduce to you Eliar Perkins. %
"Ladies and gentlemen, said in
reply, 81 feel justly flattered by your
Laramie humorist's tribute to my We
racity, but truly am not as great liar
as Mr. Nye," and then I seemed to
falter. The audience saw my dilemma
and applauded. and finally I couldn t
finish the sentence for some moments,
but continuing said. 81 am not rs big
a liar as Mr.. Nye-would have you
think. "
A day or two after this I picked up
The Boomerang and read this para
graph:
when Eli Perkins was passing
through Laramie, he said he was travel
ing for his wife's pleasure.
"'Then your wife is with you?' sug-
gested our reporter.
oh, no, said Eli; she is in New
York. melville d. Landon in New
York Sun.
PARTED FOR LIFE.