davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-09-03
RIVERS.

Rivers are like prizehghters In that they
run But they Keep still about it,
Rivers are like elocutionists in that they
would never amount to much without their
mouths
Rivers are not as treacherOus as the sea
AT any rate they do their best to keep on
the dead level
Rivers lie uneasy in their beds at some
Of the fish stories they hear told, because
they know better
Rivers are not always consistent Even
the noble Hudson changes its mind four
times day about which way it wants 70
20
Rivers are like men III that the biggest
are not always the best known. The
Thames would 90 into the Yukon 70 times
and one over.-New York Recorder.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-09-03
Cures

Prove the merit of Hoods Sarsaparilla posi-
tive, perfect, permanent Cures.
Cures Of scrofula in severest forms, like
goitre, swelIed neck, running sores, hip
disease, sores in the eyes.
Cures Of Salt Rheum, with its intense itching
and burning scald head, letter, etc.
Cures of Boils, Pimples, and all other erup-
tions due to impure blood.
Cures of Dyspepsia and other troubles where
a good stomach tonic was needed.
Cures Of Rheumatism where patients were un-
able to work or walk for weeks.
Cures of Catarrh by expelling the impurities
which cause and sustain the disease.
Cures of Nervousness by properly tonng and
feeding the nerves upon pure blood
Cures Of That Tired Feeling by restoring
strength Send for book of cures by
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-09-03
Pat Was A,.tonished.

An Irishman was run over by troop
of horse and miraculously escaped un-
hurt Down upon your knees and
thank God, you reprobate." said one Of
the spectators. THANK God for what?
Is it for letting a troop horse run over
me?' asked Pat. London Spectator.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-09-03
MAKING PANsIEs.

tsThree faces in hood"
Folk called the pansy 50
Three hundred years ago.
OF course she understood.
Then, perching on my knee,
She drew her mothers head
To her own and mine and said,
"That's mother, you and meI''
And SO it comes about
We three, for gladness' sake,
Sometimes pansy make
Before the gas goes out.
William Canton in Sunday Magazine.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-09-03

Hurst-Wilkins says that he does not
desire wealth for itself.
Worst-No, but / guess he desires it
for himself Vanity.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1896-09-03
THEMANICURING ART
A COMPARATIVELY NEW PROFESSION
FOR YOUNG WOMEN.
The Earnings and the Requirements.
There Is Now Sharp Competition, but 1t
Can BE Made to Pay Fairly weII-Draw-
backs and Advantages.

Copyright. 1896. by the Author.l
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
A LIAR FROM LIARsyILLE.


a la mer living IN Pulaski, while
out waking acrpss his farm one
day last winter, shot partridge,
aud on crosslug The Sheuango where
the bird felt he stopped to PICK il
up. when something warm and of a
mucilaginous consistency fell BON
his head. This he soon found was
honey. aud or examination discov-
cred that the bullet from his guu
had penetrated bee tree after
passing through the partridge. lie
returned to- the house and secured
three large tubs aud two milk pals,
all OF which he filed with honey.
While securing the honey he no.
ticed peculiar movement of the
tree, which seemed TO expand and
subsiGe at intervals. Passing to
the other side, "a wide seam was APP
parent. and he learned that the
tree WAS hollow. From this he
succeeded in extracting thirty-two
coons which had taken up winter
quarters therein, the peculiar move
ment of the tree having been
caused by the united breathing of
the coons.
Nor was this all Of his remarka-
BILE adventure, for upon attempting
to cross the river the ice gave way,
and he was obliged to swim for
short distance. When he arrived
at home he had about forty-fve
bass in his coat pocket, aud few
had found lodgment in his boots. =
New Huntington (Pa.) Globe.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
HOW HE WON.

One OF the interesting incidents
ut the opening session of q new
Congress in the selection of read
ing clerk by the house. The read
ing clerk is appointed by the clerk
of the house, but candidates for the
place must take part in com.
petitive speaking contest" before
the house. John A. Reeve, who
was reading clerk during Har.
rlson's administration, was pol
itician from Cairo, ILL.,, and one Of
the best known characters in Wash
ington at the time. Reeve tells this
story
81 didn't suppose had any show
for The place when 1t came TO the
test said he, "for most of the
candidates were college men, and
some were elocutionists, while the
only elocution had ever practiced
was calling hogs In southern Hi
nois, though | had been able to get
up in political meeting and make
the fellows In the buck seat hear
me; but | thought | would go into
this contest anyhow, and do my
best IN my own way. But you
ought to have heard those olocu
tionists; the way they rolled their
RS and Kissed their SIS and said
'ah' and III was caution Some
of them didn't talk like human be.
ings and others had voices so rich
and nelDdious you couldn't hear
them 40 feet away.
by the time nv turn came |
had sized up the hall aud knew
where 20 throw my voice, and |
determined TO make myself heard
If did nothing else. Each can
didate had received a copy Of a
house bill TO read. noticed that
the other fellows started out this
waV: 'Uh bull and 80 on. Now
'uh' is sound that won't carry.
and you can't attract the attention
OF the house by grunting 'Uh p
30 when started | sang out in a
clear voice that took them off their
feet, 'Aa-. bill Tong "a. They
weren't used to that, and wondered
what had broken loose, but il seem
ed to catch them. | saw that | was
on the right track, so / went on
singing her out clear as a bell, and
when ] got warmed MP | felt rs
good as ever did in the hottest
speech OF campaign.
'The thing they gave me to read
was terror. It had words in i. as
long as dictionary, but hurried
up and slid through them. and was
doing pretty well, when I looked
down OH the page and saw lot of
Spanish proper nares. Now /
didn't know spanish from Apache.
but ! was going about hundred
words p minute, so without stnp
ing, ] gave them two verses Of a
little German poem had learned
when a BOY, and hang me il man
IN that hall seemed to know the
difference, except Congressman
Niedrlnghaus, Of st. Louis. You
ought to have seen him laugh when
he heard his native tongue worked
on on the house Of representatives.
for Spanish. yes, ! got the place,
and II WAS the long "a and tho
German poetry that saved me. ~
n. Y. Sun.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

~ was really amusing to hear
Senator Morrill,. chairman OF the
Senate Finance Committee, which
h IS majority of Repu 5licans, dis
Claiming responsibility in the name
OF the Republican party FOR the
action of he committee in report
flg free coinige bill as a substi-
tute for the House bond bill.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

Senator Mills. f Texas, has been
Joilylng" the Repu bllcans unspar.
ing about thlt House tariff bilI,now
IN the Senate. He Offers his con.
gratulht'ons to the Republicans of
fhe House for having, after MANY
Years abuse of the Democratic idea
OF u tariff for revenue only, passed
the only strictly revenue tariff bill
thateyer wentthrough either branch
oil Congress. The Republicans try
to escape the charge of inconsistency
by claiming the bill TO be an
emergency" measure, but the
clai n does not wo,k.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
"sERvANTS,OBEY Y0URMAsTER.

From the Charleston Gazette.
The following bit Of silly politi-
cal gossip is going the rounds of
some Of orr Republican newspa.
pers, whose editors are continually
tumbling over each other trying to
be the frst to publish everything
that sayors Of keeping their poIiti.
cal boss and idol prominently before
the public. and the following shows
that they are not very considerable
OF Others feelings and self respect
IN their efforts. Imagine a mem
Der Of Congress having himself pa
radeded before the people as three
OF our representatives are in the
following, entitled
"Senator Elkins' Pull"
In the cloak room gossip Of the
Washington Times Of Monday We
End the following
Senator Blkins, Of West Vir-
glnia, is power among West Viz
glnians. 1t is nothing unusual
to see three OF the four representa-
tlves from that State g,thcr around
his chair in the Senate getting snq
gcstions or asking advice. This Is
pretty wollknOwn by this time.
just before the bond bill was taken
up Saturday member Of tic WAYS
aud means committee WIS hurrytno
through the corridor when he ran
against a friend.
Seen anything Of Steve Elkins
here 10 day = be quefied.
Being answered in the negative
and asked Why he wanted him in
such u hurry. be said
Il want Blkins 70 come over IN
the House and slug some Of bis feI.
lows Thcy are going to bolt the
Bib They are kicking like fools.
Children Cry foI
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
vBR WASHINGTON LETTER
6APIrAL CitiP CRkr AND CUR
RENT COMMENT FROM THE
HOME OF UNCLE SAM
Items or Interest and News aud Notes
Concerning Congress

Prom our regular correspondent
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
Castoria.

"Castoria Is mn excellent medicine for chill.
dren. Mothers have repeatedly told me OF Its
good effect upon their children"
Da. q. c. OsoooD,
Iouell Mass
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

Prom our regular correspondent.
WASHINGTON, ID. c., y
January FL, 1896
There is very decided difference
OF opinion IN Washington MS to how
that call for bids for the purchase
Of bonds will result. the majority
seeming to be on the stie of those
who think private individuals will
not bid. because they haven't the
gold.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

We I'VE recivel from CA Snow
" Co., Solicitors of United States
ana Foreign patents. Of Washing
ton. ID, g., a pamphlet recently
published aud copyrighted by them
entitled:
"A summary of foreign patent
laws" with iuformatlan and advice
ABOUT foreign patents. giving the
cost of same in various countries
The pamphlet is concise. well
wrltten,and contains IN plain state.
ment' much that will be of interest
TO inventors, patentees and manu-
facturcrs.
"A copy will be sent FREQ to any
one addressing q. A. Snow g. Co..
Patent Lawyers, Washington, ID. C..
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

"Castoria Is the best remedy for children OF
which am acquainted. hope the day is not
far distant when mothers will consider tho real
interest OF their children, and use Castoria in
stead OF thevarious quack nostr,ims which are
destroying their loved ones. by forcing opium,
morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtful
agents down their threats, thereby sending
them TO premature graves"
DR.. j. +. KNcHKLoK,
Conway, Ark.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

The whip Ut the Quay Plat. Reed
Combine seems TO be just as efTec.
I'VE amoug tho Republicans of the
'sriiaie As 1t was in the House. but
~ had TO 90 heavily laid upon some
of The Republican Senators before
fhcy would agree to support the
tarif bill arranged by Mr.. Reed and
passed by bic House, without
amendment. They sworc through
Two long caucuscs that some SIC.
hinlcy amendments should be At
saclied TO ITO Dill " they would not
support u, but At the third caucus
Boss Quay's welding Of the com
oibe Whip VAS more than they
could stand and they agreed to sup.
port tie bIl without amendment.
thHs sconhg another decisive tic
tory for The Quay Plstt-l Heed CONF
btHe. bot This does not make II
certain that Mr. Reeds tariff bin
siil pass be Senate. Some votes
"iil have 10 be gotten either from
The Democrats or the Populists 10
pass IL, and If II passes Pres dent
CleVslaDd viii hesef Sign It.
ara
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
What is

Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitchers prescription for Infants
and Children. 1t contains neither Opium Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance. harmless substitute
Tor Paregorc, Drops Soothing Syrups and OIL
1t is Pleasant Its thirty years. use by
Millions of Mothers Castora aays
feverishness Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd
cures Diarrhoea and Wind Collie. Castoria relieves
tcething troubles, cures constipation fatuency.
Castoria nssimiIates the food regulates the stomach
and bowels giving healthy and Sleep Cas-.
tora is the Chdrens Panacea-the Mothers Friend.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

constitntionality Of the income tax
rs a mistaken one, but Senator Vest
IS the first one of them who has
openly attacked the decision. In
The course OF speech, answering
Senator Sherman's recent financial
speech, Senator Vest said of il ::
I'm my judgment no judgment has
ever in the history OF the country
been rendered which has done so
much to destroy the influence of
that high tribunal and excite dis
trust on the part Of the people o..
this country" lie declared that
he would not trust himself TO saw
IN the Senate what he thought of
that decision. but would leave IT TO
members of the court who dissented
therefrom, and he read from two
OF those opinions. Referring to the
effect OF the decision lie said s.t
marks a new era, and | greatly
mistake IL the time does not come
when neither soft words nor hon
eyed praises will prove sufficient
apology"
HNlE
Tint Hog con b ne' was a fitting
name for the gang who secured all
the Offices Of the House, was made
apparent to all when it attempted
TO create Is new offices. in order to
provide for that m4ny OF their fol-
lowers. But the dose was too b,o
Tor the mem bers of the Committee
on Accounts, which has charge of
the House contingent fund from
winch 1T was proposed to p1y these
AZ additional officers. were not .sfix.
ed. AT any rate to the surprise of
The "hog combine" the com mittee
reported that sin view of the low
ebb of the contingent fund and the
utter needlessness of most of the
places" 1t could only recommend
the appointment of three of The As
officials provided for in the resolu-
luton. Spirited attacks were made
on the hog combine" by johnson.
of Ind, aud Walker of Mo- ~
latter declaring that officers Of the
House were not appointed by ma.
JorIty of the mem bers. nor by the
speaker. but were parceed out by
the com bine.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

There are lots Of lawyers in both
H0H'e and Spnate who regard The
saHems Corn derisigH ~ insi The
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
l I i \

III Gov Norton could have heard
tile Conversation at IL conference
held at the Washington residence
OF Sen 'tor Q my one nigh, this week
" might have been worth good
money to bin. Those who met
Senator Quay were Boss Pl.tt. Joe
M'nley. j.. 5. Cl,rkson and Cham.
eryl. Finley. The conference last.
cd nearIy all night.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

Senator Gray. of Delaware, Jump
ed upon the idiotic idea advanced
by Lodge, of Massachusetts. and
supported by Chandler ("Little
Blilee'), of New Ham pshire. that
the editor of the New York World
had committed high tdeason by OBJ
t'lning and publishing the views of
prominent Englishmen on the
FeHzuela matter and the issue Of
bonds with the following vigorous
language: Now, in the evening
vi The nineteenth century, you can
not bark back on the track of the
dead centuries and attempt to st:fle
ex iressioI or effort to obtain ex-
preston IN this country or abroad
In this country and in ali civilized
countries a just pubic OF inion is
the hnal arbiter Of all questions. Ii
- not necessary for me to say. if
th's suggestion Is seriously made.
shat It Is impossible IN this day and
hour to attempt any inquisitorial
interpretation Of a statute for the
purpose of sitting an expression OF
public opinion"
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16
Castoria.

CaStOr1a.
"castoria is so well adapted 70 children that
recommend 1t as superior to any prescription
known 10 me-"
II. A. ARCHER, NJ. D.,
Ill So Oxford ST., Brooklyn, N. Y.
"Our physicians In the children's depart
ment have spoken highly OF their expert
ence In their outside practice with Castoria.
and although we only have among our
medical supplies what Is known as regular
products, yet we are free to confess that the
merits OF Castoria has won us to look with
favor upon IT,"
United Hospital AND DrsPESsARY,
Boston, Mass.
ALLEN @. Smith, Pres,
urray Street, New York City.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1896-01-16

The Centaur Company. n Murray City.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04


James l.. Francis, Alderman, Chi
cago, says; III regard DR.. Kings
New Discovery as an Ideal Panacea for
Coughs, Colds and Lung Complaints,
having used il In my family for the last
five years, to the exclusion OF ply
sician's prescriptions or other prepare
tions."
Rev. John Burgus, Keokuk, Iowa,
writes: III have been a Minister of
the Methodist Episcopal Church for 90
years or more, and have never found
anything so beneficial, OF that gave me
such speedy relief as DR.. Kings
New Discovery" Try this Ideal
Cough Remedy now. Trial bot
ties at Murphey-Van Petten Drug
Co.'s Drug Store at Las Vegas
and East Las Yeas and at wholesale at
Browne & Manzanares 20. Regular
size 500. and 81 90.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04

The wife Of Mr.. Leonard Wells, OF
East Brimfeld, Mass, had been suffer-
ing from neuralgia for two days, not
being able to sleep or hardly keep still,
when Mr.. Holden, the merchant there,
sent her a bottle of Chamberlain's
Pain Balm, and asked that she give 1t
a thorough trial. On meeting Mr..
Wells the mex day, he was told that
she was all right, the pain had left her
within two hours, and that the bottle
of Pain Balm was worth So 90, il ii
could not be had for less. For sale at
30 cents per bottle by X. D. Goodall,
Depot drug store.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04
How to Prevent Group.

Some reading that will prove inter
esting to young mothers. How to guard
against the disease.
Group is a terror to young mothers
and to post them concerning the cause,
first symptoms and treatment is the OBJ.
ject Of this item. The origin OF Group
is a comm cold. Children who are
subject to it take cold very easily and
Group is almost sure to follow. The
first symptom is hoarseness; this is
Dor followed by a peculior rough
cough, which is easily recognized and
will never be forgotten by n who has
heard it. The time to act is when the
child first becomes hoarse. IL Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy is freely given
all tendency to Group vii. soon disap-
pear. Even after the croupy cough has
developed it will prevent the attack.
There is 10 danger in giving this reme-
dy, for it contains nothing injurious.
For sale by X. d. Goodall, Depot Drug
Store.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04
A Valuable Presentation

Editor Morrison of Worthington,
Ind, "Sam'', writes: "You have a
valuable prescription in Electric Bit
tiers, and / can cheerfully recommend
it for Constipation and Sick Headache,
and as a general system tonic it has no
equal" Mrs. Annie Stehle, 1926
Cottage Grove Ave-. Chicago, was all
run down, could not eat or digest food,
had a backache which never left her
and felt tired and weary, but six bot
ties of Electric Bitters restored her
health and renewed her strength.
Prices 80 cents and $1.00. Get a
Bottle at Murphey-Van Petten Drug
Co.'S. drug stores, Las Vegas and
East Las Vegas, and at wholesale by
Browne & Manzanares Co.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04
G. ID. Bonney returned to Roswell
from a trip to Mississippi points, where
he went with a lot of horses.

A cough which persists day after
day, should not be neglected any long
err. II means something more than a
mere local irritation, and the sooner 1t
IS relieved the better. Take Ayers
Cherry Pectoral. 1t is prompt to act
and sure to cure.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04

Self-denial is the q thing most diff
ficult to inculcate and always hard to
practice, especially when there are
good things to eat within reach. But
there is no self denial necessary if you
take Simmons Liver Regulator. 1t
promotes digestion, prevents Dyspepsia
and a dose after a hearty meal OF
d~elicacies will prevent any discomfort.
It's the best goodnight to-day.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04
Lbncklen,s Arnlca salYe.

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chill
blains, corns and all skin eruptions,
and positively cures piles, or no pay
required. 1t is guaranteed to give per-
feet satisfaction or money refunded.
Price rs cents per box. For sale by
Murphey Van Petten Drug Co., Las
Vegas and East Las Vegas. At whole
sale by Browne & Manzanares Co
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04

b Hermitage is a new hotel situated at
the foot Of Hermit's Peak, on the Sapello
river, up among the pines. 1t has many
advantages not usually found at summer
resorts, a good hotel with modern improve
ments and well furnished rooms, a post.
office Is located at this point, and free tele-
phone connection 10 had with Las Vegas,
The table Is beautifully supplied at ell
times with all that the season affords.
Guests wishing to come, can telephone and
a conveyance will be sent for them. Rates,
800 per week. J. Y. LUJAN Proprietor.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04

Are you baldp Is your clothing con
stantly covered with dandruff-ilthy
animal matter falling from a diseased
scalpp Does your head itchP Is it in
tested with sores and scabsP Is your
hair growing thinner year by yearp Is
it dry and brittlep If so, you have a
parasitic disease of the scalp, which
you are neglecting at great risk. Dan
derine will cure you quickly and per-
manently Money refunded in case OF
failure. For sale by Schaefer's phar-
macy.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04
PILES. P1Ies PiIes.

A sure cure for Blind, Bleed
ing and Itching Piles. DR.. Kinks
German Pile Ointment has cured the
worst cases Of ten years. standing by
three or four applications. Nc one
aeed suffer ten minutes after using
DR.. Kinks German Pile Ointment
Our agent. Mr.. Goodall, will warrant
every box. Price $1.00. Sold at
Depot drug store Las Vegas
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04
MOUNTAIN RESORTS.
Harvsy's Mountain Nome.

This resort is famous tor It's comfort,
cleanliness, superior table, abundance of
rich milk and cream, as well as for its IN.
rivaled scenery and numerous nearby
points Of interest. The best trout fshing
Is accessible by short excursions to either
branch OF the Gallinas. Hermit Peak
and grand canon are OF easy access. Bur-
ro's are furnished to guests for daily
riding. The Pecos National Park is within
six miles, and is reached by easy trail;
expeditions Can be QUILTED and guide Sc
cured at the ranch.
Judge Wooster, East Las Vegas, or i'd.
dress. H. A. HARVEY.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1896-11-04

now receive guests for the summer
The most picturesque scenery in America,
fine fishing and hunting. Best of hotel ac-
commodations in New Mexico. For terms
for board and lodging, apply to the Ro-
nero Mercantile Co., Las Vegas. Carriage
leaves their store, southwest corner Of the
plaza, every Saturday and Tuesday morn
Ing at 8 O'Clock; fare for the round trip, 81.
For further information, call at the above
establishment. 3Otf.