Arizona republican., 1896-12-25
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.
A Very Singular Experience on the
 Night Before Christmas

OpcdhluS Ol CuTlSLLldS, Sdlu lue retired burglar, always make me think of very singular experience 1 had one Christmas eve when I'd start ed out with the idea of picking up few things for the children. I came across house in the suburbs that had it's outside cellar door open. It was one of those sloping, outside cellar doors, the kind children like to slide down on; you've seen them, no doubt. It was showing like all possessed, and had been, all night, and blowing, too, and the snow had drifted round the corner of the house where the cellar door was and blown down through the open door into the cellar way and filled it half full. I should think down to the bottom the snow was two or three feet deep. I slipped going down the steps and fell the rest of the way, but it was like falling into a bed of snow; it didn't hurt me bit, and it didn't make any noise.
 "I got the inside cellar door open without much trouble, and stepped in side I was just covered with snow, and I suppose ought to have shook it off before going upstairs, where the carpets were, but I didn't; I kept right along. There was another door, at the head of the inside cellar stairs, the stairs from the first floor to the cellar, and I got through that all right, and from that door through another door into the front hall of the house, ready for business.
 q turned the knob of the parlor door very gently so as not to disturb anybody in the house, and opened the door very quietly into a room that was brightly lighted and chock full of peo- pie, men women and children, all sit ting still as mice, and all sitting with their eyes just glued on the door I was coming in at. It seemed as though they all held their breaths for about half minute when they saw me com ing in, and then they all began to laugh and hurrah and clap their hands and make the greatest hullabaloo you ever heard of; and 1 suppose that with my old ulster on with a cord around the middle, and my woolen cap, and all covered with snow from head to foot, and with bag over my shoul- der that I'd brought along to carry the horses and carts, Noah's arks, and things like that, home in, I looked about as much like Santa Claus as any body you ever saw.
 But the applause wasn't going to last forever; I knew that. I bowed and smiled; but was backing out all the time, and when I'd got back step or two, I jumped back to make for that cellar door again and bunked into somebody in the hall. I looked around out of the corner of my eye and saw I'd bunked into the real Santa Claus, com ing down from upstairs or somewhere, and making for the door I'd just Op- ened.
 Standing nthe hall close by the parlor door there was hat rack with on it, the pegs all full and piled up fourteen deep, and with about seven teen beaver hats and forty-four der bies on top of that. 1 could see the real Santa Claus glaring at me. Wheth- CT he thought I was somebody playing a trick and robbing him of the glory of being Santa Claus or what I don't know, but I knew something had got to be done, and in about a second I bounced him around agin the hat rack. It was leaning forward with the weight on it already, and the next minute Santa Claus was on the floor and cov cred about three feet deep with cloaks and overcoats, with the hat rack on top of that, and beaver hats and derbies prancin' around everywhere. Then it was time for me to go sure. The whole parlor was making for the door into the hall. I hadn't more'n got started down the cellar stairs before the hall was swarming with 'em. could hear 'em scuff1in' about on the floor overhead, as I went on out through the open cellar door. New York Sun