Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-04-30

And they only met by chants.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Florence-~What is the first thing
you have to learn in golfl" Marion
What to wear" Puck
She-"Did you see the Latin quarter
while in PARISH He-''No: but l got
several lead francs passed on me-
Truth
Ignorance, bliss; knowledge, blister.
-She--"Wh hen you married me you
sa you were well off, He-"I was;
but did not know it."-Vanity.
Poetry Fed--She tsentimentally)-
What poetry there is in fret" He (sad-
ly(~-''Yes: great deal Of my pretty
poetry has gone re."-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
Just the Same Thing.-s'Say loan me
SO for about week." Cant; have
Mt got bur five" tsThatn do-led me
the five for two sr'-Chicago Rec
ord.
The difference between a somnambu-
list and a messenger boy is trifiing:
| One walks In his sleep, and the other
Sleeps l2 AiS "SAA. Il liil1uolPni'A
Press.
AS the hurricane swept the deck and
upset few yachtsmen it breezily re-
marked: II guess / can turn an Oc-
casional summer-'salt' myself. Rich
mond Gazette.
Wizway-s'What is meant by a pass
ing regard?" Juzby-'The regard in
which you're held by people who bow
to you but don't stop to speak."--Rox-
bury Gazette.
She-''We've been married four
months, dear. and haven't given you
chance 10 try my cooking yet" He
why, hove, you're not getting tired Of
me already, are youY'-Yonkers States
| man.
Really Unjust.-sI have done moth
ing but blush all day." complained the
rose, ''and still that idiot of poet goes
on talking of the modest violet, as II
there were not others."-Cincinnat En-
quirer,
Murman-'I often hear people speak
about brain work being so awfully
hard; it doesn't appear to me So" Cut
! ter-"Of course not; to men of your
caliber brayin' work is Boston
Courier.
Mama Russell, stop teasing your
brother; I'm tired of hearing him cry"
Russell-@It won't make any difference
| if do STOP eos if I don't tease him
he'll tease me and make me cry."-Har
per's Bazaar.
How large were the diamondsw
| asked the press agent, pausing in the
writing OF the account for publication.
About as large as chestnuts," con-
| fessed the actress, unwittingly.-Min
neapolis Times.
Winterbloom-Don't you think $500
is rather high for tailor made gown?
| Won Blumer tells me his wife paid
only $50. Mrs. Winterbloom-True
my dear, but she got hers before
got mine.--Harlem Life.
Teacher-Can any little boy tell me-
which is the longest day in the yearF
| Billy-Some fellows say the day be-
| fore Christmas is, and some say the
day before the Fourth of July.-Har
peF's Round Table.
81 don't believe you know who I
am,' said Mrs. Gayleigh to Tommy.
+! &'No, ma'am," said Tommy, 81 don't
know who you are, but know who
/; you was. / heard mamma telling Aunt
Susan."-Harper's Bazaar.
/ ooh, Edith. there's that lovely es-
| eort you had last summer, the Count
de Lusk, selling ribbons at the further
| ceunterY' $50 it is. Don't let US rec
! ognize him, dear. He will prefer to re-
main incognito. Port Jervis Gazette.
.'sing?" said the speciality artist to
! the manager, II can sing to beat the
band However, on his appearance
J that afternoon it was noticeable that
! the orchestra. as usual, had the better
of the contest-Indianapolis Journal
Mrs. Al am surprised that your
! husband earns 80 little IL he works as
! hard as You say. What does he do?
| Mrs. B.-The last thing he did was
to calculate how many times clock
licked in the course OF 1000 years.
| Philadelphia Inquirer.
What is all that row in the dining
room?" asked the dime museum man
ager, with some Irritation. "It do be
the glass eater, sor," said the Zulu
chieftain. sHe says tn cook give him
a cracked toombler, an he cut his toong
ON it.a-New York Press.