The islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1891-1899, 1896-01-02
REV. EVOLUTION WHALEBACK.

REV. EtOLUI1UN NHA1AEDACAs
rs hearn er heap OBJ talk erbout dem
good ole times way back long ergo, an
an 1 hearn Deacon Tendershin de od-
der day sayin dat it would be nightly
good thing eff we had dem same ole
times back ergin right now.
My dear Teller cullored niggers. rs
ben studyin mighty hard erbout dat
ar, an l tells you all dat it wont do.
No sab, dem ole times neber'd do fer
desc ere times no way 70 could fix EN-.
Spose we hab dem ole times here right
now, an 20 wants to go to Seattle-how
20 gwine to go? Oats what I wants
ter ak 20, how 20 gwine ter go? No
use waitin fer de Libby Tonsin, case
dar want no Libby Tonsin dar dem
times. No sab, yer has ter take er
dugout an paddle ober ter de main Ian
an huff er through de woods, er else
paddle all de way to de city. But cume
ter think erbout it, de city warnt dar
den, de howses an stOars warnt built,
ner de Rainer Benny neder, SO dar
warnt no use gwine dar anyway. Oar
warnt no cars, ner kilograms, ner lectri-
fine lights dem times. Eff yo set down
to read yo daily paper you'd hab to read
by de light OBJ er taller dip er rag in
er goard OBJ hog fat. But den cume
to think erbout it, all de daily papers
dem times was printed once er month,
er such matter, an it tuck two er
three months fer EN- to git here. An
when yo went trablin yer had to pack
er fence rail on yo shoulder to
prize de stage koatch outin de mud, an
eff 70 trabled very fur 20 war mighty
apt ter meet up wild highway robber,
but den we all needn't worry much er-
bout dat, fer de car porter an de Ian
lord now days ansers all purposes. in
dose good ole times 20 would hab ter
pile out in de mornin an whack erway
wild flint an steel to make de fire,
wastin 70 bref BLOWN de finder all
sayin bad wuds, but now days all 70
has to do is to scratch err match on de
basement ob yo'r trousaloons an dar 20
is, unless yo is smart ernuff to sub let
de contract to de wimin folks, which
can ginerly be did by er little judicitive
managin. Den in dose ole times when
we wanted to put er man up fer offs
da looked Ground till da foun de fit
finest man fer de place. We don't hab
to do eny OBJ dat now days, oh no! no
sab. de huntin an de ruslin cume from
de udder side ob de howse desc times,
an Std oh de fitness OBJ de man fer de
poslsh it am mostly de questun ob who
hab de longest sack. Den in dem times
Congress all de Legislator don pass er
passed. er laws an de peple hadent no
more sence dan to mind EN- to de let
ter. How is dat desc times? SpOse
we all don't no better den dat? De
laws ar passed, plenty OBJ EN-, but de
folks goes right erlong, an eff sum one
is rested he hires sum LAWYERS an Ola
keep carryln it up till de Sprem Court
dun say dat dat law am unconstitu-
tionated, all dat settles it. Den de
peple whirl in an lect mo congressman
an Legislators to pass sum mo. Oh,
no. dem ole times warnt in it wild now
days. Da didn't put on so much stile
dem times. Once de President cume
to de White Howse to take de cheer on
boss back, all erlone, but sho! ola nos
betterin to do er thing like dat ar now.
Da cume in pull man cars, an lots ob
EN- da gifts full fore da gifts de job dun.
In dose good ole times eff de President
ob dees Nunited States wanted to 60
duck huntin he waited till Congress was
out fer noon den went wild his own
outfit ali at his own expence., but in
dees days OBJ advance sibilisatun 1t
takes two light howse tenders, er
special trane OBJ cars, an erbout foty
offisers an men, who ar in de pay OBJ de
Country to take de Chief Executioner
out to hunt ducks. spec Unkle Sam
enjoy dem ducks, eny way he orter.
No my dear cullord friends, rs boun
to dink dat cherry generation better
stick to dar own times an do dar best
to make dem times what da shud be.
It amt so much de times as it am de
peple what lib in dose times. Ell de
folks am all rite an do dare part no
body needn't worry bout de times, kase
de times am bleeged ter take care OBJ
darselbes. Wild de bizness OBJ de coun-
try stagnitized, de Treasury Dedicated,
de Gold Reserve preambulatin down
ard an ernother bond issue in site, wild
de Senate i'm doute an Grover in de
White Howse, we all orter to dank
God dat Tom Reed swings de little
mallet at de udder ell OBJ de avenue.
Keep stiff upper lip, hang on wild
boff hans an pray fur de speedy better.
ment OBJ de present times.
4 okr 1908