The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-02-22
A FEW THINGS.

Today is Washington'S Birthday.
Had he lived to see it he would have
been an old man; he would have been
1914 years of age-too old to enjoy the
meagre celebrations this generation
indulge in. Besides, he wouldn't en-
joy them. even were he a young man.
One would not appreciate very highly
the sight of 'steen yards of last years
bunting hung along the front of
store or the sight of a. cold wave flag
on the weather bureau, no matter how
great a man he had been.
George Washington was a, great and
good man, so we are told by the vari-
Gus histories which are read in the
public schools. He began life by cut
ting down a cherry tree, and refused
to deny the act when his irate sire
demanded of him information concern
ing the deed. 1t is related that the
elder Washington was so glad to note
this truth-telling faculty in George,
that he refrained from whipping I-im-
Pupils in Sunday schools are told to
emulate this virtuous example. A
great many have attempted it, with
but poor success. Let a. boy chop
down a tree in this day and age of the
civilization of the world, and even
though he admits it, he is sure to get
the worst threshing he ever had. The
sires of the present day do not look
upon truth-teIIing in the light Georges
father did. If the kid owns up, it is
regarded as Boosting of the exploit,
and the hapless urchin usually gets
damned all the harder.
George grew up as a civil engineer
Now this was all right for him, no
doubt; history telling US that he was
surveyor who could give cards and
spades to other fellows in the same
line and run a. county boundary quick
er and straighter than they, with all
the conceded advantages. If history
had just omitted this statement there
are great many boys in this land of
ours who would have grown up in life
useful men; but as history insisted
upon telling it, the result has been
that every fond father has advised his
boy to become a. civil engineer and
run for county surveyor, to the extent
that there are more candidates than
would patch the highways of the lower
regions for $3.50 feet.
When George grew up he became a
very successful Indian fighter. This
has also caused a great deal of grief
in the world, especially among the in
habitants of the eastern states. Be
cause, just as soon as a. lad could read
he read the life of washington and
Immediately HE'D himself to the plains
of the arid west to emulate the nota-
BILE examples set by the father of his
country. This has been sad for the
arid west and the WOuld-be SlayerS,
because there are heaps and heaps of
bleaching bones scattered from Elko
to the north fork of the Platte, the
only remains of the embryo heroes
who. unlike Washington, could not
stand up and be shot at and never get
hit Old Mash-em- With-a-war-clu
the chief of the Blackfeet tribe, used
to boast that ne had enough hair from
the polls of would-be Washingtons to
make a mattress, and at one time he
headed a subscription to buy several
thousand copies of the Life of George,
in order that business, which was a
little slack, might be toned up a bit.
When George grew up he enlisted
in the army and became general in
command. As a fighter he was sue
cessful-very. He had a different sys-
tenn in those days and had to contend
against fearful odds. There were no
telegraph lines then, and announce
ments of great victories had to be sent
by messenger boy. BY the time the
people got the news that he had
slaughtered $4,000 hireling Hessians,
the right flank of the British army Of
ten swooped down on him and knocked
his handful of soldiers into utter r0ut
and confusion. But George could fight