Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1896-08-26
SPINNING WHEEL.


Isn't it delightful to know that it's
getting cooler?'' said the woman who
runs in minute or two at almost
any hour of the day. 'Oh, don't
know" why, you don't mean to say
that you like the temperature as high
as it has beenT' mo, ! don't enjoy
hot weather. But 1 kind o. hate to see
it get COOL Land sakes. 1t takes
all kinds of people to make world.
It's mostly on my husbands account
that l don't care much for the cool
wave. You see, as long us it stays hot
he doesn't do anything but find fault
with the weather. And I'd rely rather
hear him &C on about it than not. But
Just as soon as it eases UP he'll return
to his old subjects. He'll begin to say
things about the coffee, an the way
the egg are cooked, an the looks O the
house. just as usual. | don't enjoy
the perspiration and the risk of sun
stroke; but | must say that, with oil its
drawbacks, hot spell kind O seems like
a vacation to me. "-Washington Star.
Neutrality-suspicious. you go back you
must go to the roof garden and see the
dancing bear"
Quakertown = Delighted! But =
heavens and earth-you don't mean to
say the authorities don't require even
bronze paint! York Press.
-:O:-
Have you ever eaten a table d'hote din
ner backward? If not, try it. The idea
that the French know how to arrange
course dinner SO that one course after
another will set well on the stomach is
declared by an expert to be all wrong.
The idea that soup has to be eaten first
H. Y
session of the majority of people, and
it is a hard thing to convince the or
binary table d'hOte fiend that it is just
as safe to start with a small cafe noir,
play slice of ice cream and a piece
of brle cheese next, and then dash into
salad and roast. Still it is all right;
it goes just the same The waiter finds
it hard TO get used to the reversed order.
but even If the tip is reversed and played
first even he will understand that it is
all right. Try it. The black coffee will
give you an appetite, the cheese will add
to it, and the salad will simply aggravate
your desire to eat. And if you are i'll
afterward you may consider yourself an
exception in proof of the rule.-New
York Journal.
An old fellow who had recently buried
his fourth wife was accosted by an ac-
quaintance, who. unaware of his be-
reavement, asked: How is your wife.
Cap'n Plowjogger?' WAL" reolied
the captain, with solemn not to say
sad countenance-'waal, to tell the
trewth, I'm kinder out of wives just
now."-New York Tribune.
The laird had invited party of Lon
don men 20 shoot over the covers, and
among the number was a young cockney
who was making his debut as a sports
n IN i
been told 20 look after the latter, but
it was a hard job. as the youth paid
little heed to what the watchful Donald
said, and blaZed away right and left
against the rules of true craftsmanship.
At last an ill-directed shot from young
Nimrod's gun found target in the meth
er region of one of the gillies. Donald
sprang forward. snatched the dangerous
weapon out of the erring sportSman'S
hands and. pointing at the wounded gill
lie, who was making for home, holding
his hand on the wounded part, ex-
claimed:
''See what we've din. We dunderheid. 1t
jist as lif might haze been ane O. the
dugsr-Scottish Nights.
Curious Investigator-'Wh do you
prefer. my good man-beer or whisky"
Dismal Dawson-''Which you got?''-
Indianapolis Journal.
-:O:-
These tender words on the death of
beloved citizen were found in the local
newspaper at Bowie. Ariz.: Death loves
a shining mark and she hit dandy when
she turned loose on Jim
"John. where's your daddy?"
'He's out yander gettin' beat for cor
oner."
AN yer uncle?"
"Seein' how close he kin come ter bein'
sheriff.
"An' Bill-where's he?"
''Well, Bill don't mount ter much, an
I've hearn tell they're gwine ter send
him to Congress ter get shet of him.
can you-what's you a-runnin' fer?"
''Nothin' I'm the only one in the fam
lily what amt got no eddication, so I'm
a teachin of a school fer a Twin. At
lanta Constitution.
A tourist in Switzerland who was
about to make the ascent of a mountain
thought best to ask some questions as to
the capabilities of his guide. SIS he a
thoroughly skillful climber?" he asked
of the hotelkeeper. Il should say so,''
exclaimed the innkeeper. "He has lost
two parties of tourists down the mount
tain side and escaped without a scratch
both times. London Punch.
THE ROOSTER'S PLANT.
Loud shouts the umpire to 'Play BALL."
Before him all should bow;
Yet they obey him not at ALL
Because they don't know how.