davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Pixies on Patents.
How TO get $500 and Perhaps
Make a Fortune.

We secure patents and to induce people to
keep track Of their bright ideas we offer
prize of one hundred dollars to be paid on
the first of every month to the person who
submits to US the most merltorious invention
during the preceding month. We will also
advertise the Invention free of charge in the
National Recorders weekly newspaper. pub.
lshed in Washington, D. G., which has an
extensive circulation throughout the United
States ana is devoted to the interests of in
ventors.
Nor so HARD as IT SEEMS
The idea of being able to invent something
trikes most people as being very difficult
this delusion the Company wishes to dspel.
1t is the simple things and small inventions
that make the greatest amount of money and
the complex ones are seldom profitable. AL.
most everybody, at some time or another,
conceiyes an idea, which, if patented, would
probably be worth to HIM a fortune. Unfor.
tunately such ideas are usually dismissed
without thought. The simple invention like
the car window which could be easily slid up
and down without breaking the passengers
back, the sauce pan, the collar button, the
nut lock, the bottle stopper, the snow shovel
are things that almost everyone sees some
way Of improving upon, and it is these kind
of inventions that bring the greatest returns
to the author.
The prize we offer at the end Of each month
will be paid whether the application has
been acted upon by the Patent Office or note
Every competitor must apply for patent on
his invention through us, and whether he Sc
cures the prize or not, the inventor wi II hav
a valuable patent.
THE PRESS CLAIMS COMPANY,
John Wedderburn, Gent Manager,
619 ST. N. w., Washington D. 9.
P. s. The responsibility of this company
may be judged from the fact that its stock is
held by about seventeen hundred ofthe lead
ing newspapers of the United States.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Patents

Ca oeats and Re, Issues secured; Trade Marks
and Copyrights registered; Opinions given as
to validity and infringement of patents; As
signn,ents Contracts etc, prepared and recor-
ded, and all business in the Patent Office in
the UNITED STATES and all FOREIGN
COUNTRIES promptly and carefully pros
ecutel. Upon receipt of model or sketch or
photograph of invention with description,
will advise as to patentability free Of charge
Main offices directly across from the U, s
Patent Office, and attention is specially called
to my perfect and long established facilities
for the most vigorous and successful prose-
cution of applications for patent and for
tending to all business entrusted to my care,
in the shortest possible time. Rejected cases
specially. MODERATE and exclu.
sive attention given to patent business Book
of information and advice, and special refer
ences, sent without charge upon request.
J. r. L1TTELL,
Attorney and Councillor IN Patent Causes,
Washington, D. c.,
Opposite y. S, Patent Office.
(Mentjon this Paper
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Sweet SlmDliCity.

Doctors have many curious expe-
riences, but the following produc-
ton, which the London Lancet has
received from medical man, to
whom it was sent by child, and
which is printed as 1t was written,
emitting only the name and address,
would be hard to beat:
DEARDR. -: Iwould be very pleased If you
would let me have Baby for one guinea. We
want it ON the 4th Of Febry for Mother 8 birth.
day We would like 1t fat and Bonny, with blue
eyes and fair hair We Children are going to
give it to her ourselves please answer at once.
Yours sincerely, ARCHIE -.
p. s.-Which would be the cheaper Boy or
q Girlp
The Up. S." especially is delight
full and shows how wonderful the
ramifioations of the commercial
spirit are among Observation-Disclosures
Gazette.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
The Ultimate Test For Solomon.

Wonder if Solomon was ever made
to feel small by having a ohtld ssl
him questionsp-Ram's Horn.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05

Leave Rocky Ridge for Emmitsburg at
8 1875 and 10 40 a m, and 3 81 and "a p M.
Leave Highfield for Gettysburg, Hanover
York and and H Div. 7 30 and II 40 III
and SO p m.
Leave Edgemont for Waynesboro, Cham
bersburg Shippensburg, and intermediate sta
tions at Z 06 and II 45 a m and 30 p m.
Leave Hagerstown for Cherry Run and all
points on Potomac Valley Railroad at 06
a m and IL IS and 10 pm.
PR Leave Bruceville tor Frederick at 40
a m and 5 40 p m and for Littlestown Tan
eytown s. Columbia at "A a m and 3 45 p NJ
Daily-all other.daly except Sunday.
tS,ops to land Passengers for Baltimore,
tStops only to land Baltimore passengers.
JIM. HOOP. B H. GRIswoLD.
cienl, Manager. Genl, Passenger, Agen
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
BULLYING BARRi6TER6.
And How They Arc sometines Crushsd
BIZ Smart Witnesses.

By Smart witnesses.
Some little time ago the Rev. ].
P. Bacon Phillips, founder Of the
Witnesses Protection society, was
kind enough to come up to town
from Crowhurst reotory on purpose
to be interviewed by the present
writer on the subject Of repartee in
the witness box. To the courtesy of
this gentleman, therefore, am in
debted for the droll examples of
wordy duels which follow.
On one occasion Sir Frank Look
wood was defending man in York
shire who was accused of stealing
cattle, or "beasts," to use the north
country term. One witness for the
prosecution declared he beheld the
whole transaction from afar.
Nov, my man," quoth Mr.. Look.
wood Gas he then was), severely,
you must be extremely careful in
your statements. You say you
watched this affair for some time.
Tell me now how far can you see
beast to really know it's pointsp"
Just as faar of as I am from you,
master" replied the yokel earnest
~, and the great Q. G. subsidized.
There was OWL action in the law
courts some time ago, mainly con-
corning money matters. The plain
tiff stated calmly In the witness box
that his financial position had al
ways been satisfactory.
Counsel for the other side rose
with a truly portentous air, and in
quired if he had ever become bank.
rupt.
Plaintiff said he had not.
PRAY be careful, sir. Remember,
you are on oath. Do you mean to tell
the court you never stopped pay
ment?"
"Well," was the reply, now you
come to call it to my mind, / believe
I did on one occasion. "
"Ah, thought we should arrive
at it presently" And counsel took
a long draft of water, in an impress
sive and theatrical way. Nov, sir,
when did that happen?"
AFTER I had paid all my debts"
was the crushing reply.
The court fairly shrieked with
laughter, and the judge laughed, too,
while the usher was so stricken with
merriment that he was far from re-
storing order.
The writer was present in court
when the following amusing passage
took place between counsel and wit
ness in a disputed will case.
did your father give you no part.
ing admonitionp'
"He never gave much away at any
time"
II mean to say, what were his last
words?"
They don't oonsarn you"
They not only concern me, sir,
remarked the barrister severely,
"but they concern the whole court. "
"Oh, all right" was the reply.
Father said, Don't have no trouble
when I'm gone, Jim, 'oos lawyers is
the biggest thieves unhung.
II can teach you law, sir, but I
cannot teach you Manners said an
exasperated counsel to small, meek
witness.
The latter quietly replied, THAT
Is so, SIR" and people laughed con-
sumedly.
The Extensively familiar witness
is sore trial. The dignity and cru
dition of the most eminent Q. G. are
thrown away on him. In an impor-
tant case recently heard in the chan
Gerry division loquacious witness
was asked the question:
What sort of man was he?"
The reply came swiftly, "Just an
undersized, red faced chap, like
yourself. London Standard.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
A Chance for Hustlers.

We want several live, wide-awake can
yasscrs to represent THE CLARION in this
and adjoining counties in connection with
the National Newspaper Union. The work
is new, popular, and very profitable, requir-
ing neither capital nor previous experience.
1t is worth looking after and if you want q
real good thing in the way of light, pleasant
and profitable employment it will pay you
to investigate this at once. There is money
in it for hustlers. Write for full particulars
to
THE NATIONAL co.
StLouis, Mo,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Philosophical View.

Bright N. Nobby-Why don't you
resent it when an elevator boy speaks
to you in that tone?
Close r. Seedy-My dear fellow,
he was not speaking to me- He was
addressing my coat,-Vogue,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Simon and Grevy.

Jules Simon says that the most
exciting moment of his life was When
he was trying to obtain concession
on tariff from a foreign diplomat
with whom President Grevy was
playing billiards. He whispered to
Grevy to lose the game, but Grevy
insisted on playing to win and re-
Tented only when he observed that
the minister was in anguish.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Hard to Please,

Mr.. Snaggs was accosted on the
street the other day by beggar
who was covered with a very re.
markable mass of patched and rag
ged garments and who said:
mister, haven't you some old
clothes you could give fellowp"
Snaggs surveyed the beggar from
head to foot and then asked:
Are not the clothes you have on
old enough for you?" Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
THURM0NT Frederick County, Maryland Thursday March 5. 1896.
coNNEcrIcuT's WILD ANIMALs.
ene Of Them. According to Naturalist
wa Pretty Good Mermaid.

Ono Of Them, According to . Naturalist,
Wa . Pretty Good Mermaid.
1.-THE Wild Mammals Of Conneoti.
cut" was the title of an interesting
paper read by Judge Sherman w.
Adams before the Connecticut His.
torical society recently. Since pre-
historic periods the mammalia of the
state have included, in addition to the
land animals, seals, whales, walrus
and other water animals, making, as
had been supposed until 90 years
ago, IS genera and 252 species, but
further investigation shows IS gen.
era. In prehistoric times probosoid-
cans of large size inhabited the
state, and fossil remains of them
have been found In New Britain,
Cheshire and Stratford.
The animals that never we're found
in Connecticut were the bear, prairie
dog and opossum. Of the three spe-
oies of oats one or two are now
extinct, but one species still exists,
the wildcat, one having been killed
in Litchf1eld within a few years that
weighed IS pounds and five having
been killed in Essex during the year
1895. In 1894, 80 shillings head was
offered for panthers, which killed
sheep and otherwise disturbed the
farmers. In 1647 the wolves killed
cattle to such an extent that 10 shil-
lings per head was offered to aid in
their extinction. Many wolves we're
killed in the state, and they we're
hunted and killed in packs. Many
have been killed in the state since
the episode of Putnam's wolf den,
In some instances men having to
leave church to meet them in self de-
tense.
Bears have been extinct in the
state for some 80 years, but one was
killed in the main street In Hartford
in 1776, the occasion being regular
bear hunt, which was much enjoyed
by the people who watched it from
buildings, some Of which are now
standing. The skunk still remains in
Hartford county, and is sometimes
called the devils child" Beavers
were 80 abundant in 1910 that their
skins were used for currency, and
In 174O wharf rats were so numerous
in Wethersfeld that a reward was
offered for their destruction. Moose
were in Connecticut early in its set
Element and deer abounded.
OF aquatic animals there was
great variety, the seals being plenti-
full, and the seal hunters who went
after fur seals in other parts Of the
world learned their trade hunting
the hair seal in our own waters. In
1647 whales and porpoises were
abundant, and grant was given to
whalers to capture whales in the
sound. In recent years porpoises, the
social whale or blackfish, the gram
pus, and possibly the narwhal have
been found in the sound. In 1910 a
party of fishermen reported having
seen an animal on the rocks off
Bradford with head and breasts like
a woman, and with the lower part
shaped like mackerel with forked
tail. "This very much resembled the
descriptions of the mermaid, said
Judge Adams.
Notwithstanding the great rarity
of wild animals, there was none in
the state that could be domesticated
with profit or convenience to the set
tier, and his domestic animals were
all of imported stock. -Hartford
Courant.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
A PAINTERS MODEL.

M ME. Xavier
kept a shop at
the end of the
street. Such a
shop,with only
one window in
it, and a bit of
counter, piled
h j 6 h W i t b
bunchesof gray
yarn and boxes
of cheap tinsel.
There was a
bird in a cage
i n lnadame's
window. He
always sangfu.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Why. Of Course,

Have you heard any of Wilkins
recent dog stories?"
"All of them, guess.
"Well, candidly, what do you
think of him?"
II think he Is to be envied."
"Envied"
Certainly. He has either the
most wonderful dog in the world or
the most remarkable imagination. "
Chicago Post.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1896-03-05
Western Maryland Railroad.

@3 3 sss4s.@S[s sz&
Cchedule in effect September 80, 1894
TRAINS GOING WEST.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09
T. II. bEhNKE
LEADING ;GROCER.

Tive Ncderlan,' life lns. Co. writes a
safe, sDus?zl low rate pollcy--one which
is Il simple '!N'is1ness&p- proposition.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09
N otic3 for, Futlication-

land OIficeat Narsha13, Mir111.
July :22ist. 1886.
Notice isIhereby given that the follow
ing named settler has>fsled notice of his
intention to make fna; proof in support of
his Claissi, and that said proof viii be
Court at st. Peter, Mirn, on Snt1r6ay ,
Septenbe1a 9TH. 1886, viz: Henry Pehing z,
Hid. Application No. 1888 for the 'ef%sw
Il and sw34Of nw14SSSec: Is, I no. R:29 J. .,
Ike names the following wit---,Hs>s :, ~ -
proue lsis,ccntinuous III edE5 W: UPON *s'4ei
cuithNatl9n OF, sa1G William Terhofterj
rsar lhto1i NJ lifofter, Hern1a al Neubauer, ali
~ ,.eH:la;.i. Niiln.
u o'' CPS SHEPARD,
Register
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

Only a few days left before school COM
mences. Children don't forget that the
City Drug Store has the largest supply
of school looks and tablest.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

Cal' Wine at so cts. a gallon at J. F.
Neumanr's. This is the best drink for
farmers during the harvest.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

| have Just received new supply Of
fine mandolins and guitars and invite
all lovers of these instruments to call
and examine them. Andrew J. Eckstcin,
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

Buy the light Running Wheeler s. vii
son Sewing Machine at II. L.Saverien's.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09
MINNEAPOLIS, NEW ULM Is SOUTH
WESTERN RAILROAD.

MINNEAPOLIS, NEW ULM & SOUTH
WESTERN RAILROAD.
Departure of Trains.
No. Is St. Paul, Mpls Pass 6:3O A. VI.
No. 20 St. Paul, Mpls Pass II 10 A. NJ.
No. 50 Winthrop Acc'dation 5 100 P. NJ.
Arrival of Trains.
No. 81 Winthrop Acc'dation 7:15 \. NJ.
Nc. 80 st. Paul, Mols Pass 2:2O P. NJ.
No. 16 St. Paul, Mpls Pass $3.50 P. NJ.
All Daily Except Sunday.
No. Is arrives Mpls 9:47 A. NJ. st Paul
1920 A. NJ.
No. Is leaves St. Paul 5 100 P. NJ. Mpls.
5:33 P. NJ.
No change of cars between New Tim,
St. Paul & HIpls.
Close connections for Chicago Mil
waukee and all points East.
For full particulars apply to
JOHN RYCZEK, Agent.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09
Canned
Goods

Cur stock OF Can!2eU Fruits is I'M
eScelleti and what is better still,
they are not high priced.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

Lienhard Bros. have all kinds of tab
lets ruled, and unrslled, only &c.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

The cheapest and best tablets, ruled
and unruled to be had at the City Drug
Store.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

WANTED:-A once several cars No.
Timothy Hay. Quote price F. 0. B.
Buffalo.
II. L. Howard
Room S21 Real Estate Exchange
Buffalo, n. 7.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09
7 Per Cent Mon,

Soc. will buy fine folding camp chair
at H. L. Saverien's..
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09
WANTED.

Gool German girl E,;- general house
work s1r'!st he good e:r'oN: Wages, 81
no w;z*i2:,.4. Family OF five.
=. ). Bracket
"a Fifth St. South,
Minneapolis M,nn-
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09
~
Apples.

Lienhard Bros. will pay $1,000 to any
one who will furnish them with ev;derca
that will convict the person or persons
who destroyed any Of their signs placed
at places in the country.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1896-09-09

TIME CARD G. & N. W. R'y.
East Bound. West Bound,
No SIS Al SNo3 2:17P.M
S No 2 2:55 P. NJ MOI S:3Op.M
+ NO "A II :5OA. NJ No 10 6 40 4. NJ
No 81 S:30P.M No15 HORN
5 Daily. All others daily except Sun
day.
@. ". H. HEIDEMAN. .yent.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26
Officers Installed.

At a special meeting of Custer City
Lodge. No. GO, A. F. 4 A. NJ, OF We'd
nesday evening. the 23rd inst, the fol-
officers we're duly installed for
the ensuing term:
w. F. Hanley, w. NJ.
w. G. Porter, S. w.
w. w. Odds, j. W.
d. Carrigan, Treasurer.
j. L. Pitcher, Secretary.
Alfred Johnson, s. ID.
A. j. Jones, J. ID.
+. A. Towner, s. s.
Charles Miller, j. s.
II. J. Orr, Tyler
After the close of the installation
ceremonies the members were most
~agreeably surprised by a full delegation
of the ladies Of the Eastern Star, who
sought and gained admittence with
their well loaded baskets. and in due
time spread before them in rich pro.
fusion and pleasing variety, the choicest
viands, which were highly enjoyed and
greatly appreciated 10y all. Ater the
banquet the time was pleasantly spent
in social converse, until a late honr.
when the happy assembly retired, mor
than delighted with the pleasures Of the
evening, all of which we're due to the
kindly efforts Of the good ladies Of the
o. 4. s.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26
Try 1t and See.

Whatever may be said about the pub.
LEGATIONS of Rev. Irl X. Hicks by those
who do not fully understand the facts,
there is no denying the truth hat his
paper and Almanac have come to stay.
His splendid journal, Word and Works,
is now entering its tenth year, largely
increased in circulation and in every
way improved, until It deserves the
national reputation it has attained. His
1897 Almanac is now ready and is by far
the finest and most beautiful he has yet
issued. !. contain los pages, includ.
ing cover artistically printed in colors,
and is filed from back to back with just
what is wanted in shop, office and home
in America. One feature Of the Altman.
&C for 1897 is q series Of IL original,
beautifully engraved star maps, with
Explanatory chapters, which could not
be bought for less than five dollars In
any work on astronomy. As Mr.. Hicks
has 30 correctly and faithfully warned
The public Of coming droughts, foods,
cold waves. bltxzards, tornadoes and
cyclones. in the years past, aside from
the other varied and splendid features
OF his paper and Almanac, these consid.
eratioBs alone should prompt every
family to subscribe at once for 1897
The Almanac Is only % cts a copy.
Word and Works is one dollar a year.
and q copy of the fine Almanac goes as
a premium with every yearly subscrip-
ton Write to Word and Works Pub
fishing Co., ST. Louis, Mo.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26

Ragged Top, the new Mining camp in
the Black Hills, is the sole attraction
these days, and a little history anent it's
discovery will not be amiss. We cannot
vouch for ii, but the story runs: One
day last spring, a man approached
several miners at work on a claim near
Portland, at Bald mountain, and said,
IL am out Of work, do you know where
I could find employment He was in
formed that work was scarce, and that
they had no idea where be could End
employment. He then asked them
where there was q good place to pros
pect, that he was not a miner and knew
nothing about such work They point
ed to a large ledge of limestone about a
mile and a half south and said there
was a good place. He thanked them,
and proceeded to the ground pointed
ont. He selected numerous samples oi
rock from the ridge. took them to Dead
wood to have them assayed, and the
next day the assayer was the most sur
prised man in Deadwood He found
some of the rock gave returns of geo
gold per ton, another assay gave $3.50
gold per ton. The tenderfoot didn't say
a word, but located the whole country
and began shipping boulders from the
top of the ground which have made
him independently rich since the day
the miners had q laugh at the sucker
Sundaace Gazette.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1896-12-26

Accounts from Ragged Top indicate
very clearly that our former townsmen,
Ii. b. Swain. is in the swim in that
great and progressive camp. lie Is said
to be the lucky possessor Of a number
of very promising claims upon which
the work Of development is being rapid
ly pushed, is working the property Of
others under lease, and is recognized
among the prominent promoters Of the
mining industry that gives the district
the marked prestige it enjoys. Mr.. Swain
is also vice president of the Ragged Top
Protective Association, an organization
created for the protection Of the rights
OF claim owne's against jumpers and
blackmailers, . class Of disturbers who
are always in evidence in the early
settlement Of a m%eritoriout mining
camp. Should Mr.. Swain amass a
million by his commendable enterprise,
which is by no means impossible, Meth.
err the people of this place, or the
CHRONICLE would have a shadow of a
kick comm.