davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Spring Requires

That the impurities which have accum-
ulated in your blood during the winter
shall be promptly and thoroughly ex-
PEELED if good health is expected. When
the warmer weather comes these i'm
purities are liable tn manifest them
selves in various ways and often lead
to serious illness. Unless the blood is
rich and pure that tired feeling will
afflict you, yonr appetite will fail and
you will find yourself call run down" "
Hoods Sarsaparilla tones and streng-
thens the system, drives out all i'm
purities and makes pure, rich, healthy
blood. Hoods Sarsaparilla is the one
true blood purifier and the best spring
medicine. Be sure to get only Hoods.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
NOT ON THE BILLS.
Printer in Chicago Creates n Scene at til,
Auditorium Theater.

Auditorium Theater.
Chicago, March 31.-Grand opera was
interrupted at the Auditorium Monday
night by man who rushed from the
audience to the stage, creating scene
not written in the play. AS Jean De
Reszle was singing in the beginning OF
the second act of Romeo and Juliet
man, who has since given the name OF
Robert Rochman, ran down the center
isle of the auditorium and, after climb
ing over the railing inclosing the or
chestra and upsetting a man with a
bass violin, jumped upon the stage and
commenced addressing the audience.
Murnurs from the audience prevented
the hearing of what he had to say. Two
stage hands ran from behind the scenery
and collaring the disturber, dragged
him from sight. The curtain was then
rung down to allow the excitement to
subside before proceeding with the
play. Rochman is now locked up in the
custody of the police and he will be eX-
amined by the county physician. He is
n printer, and claims to have come from
Mount Clemens, Mich. He displays I'M
mistallable evidence of insanity.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
A DRuNkARD's HOSPITAL.
Novel Provisions of Bill introduced In
the New York Assembly.

Novel Provisions of q Bill introduced In
the New York Assembly.
a peculiar bill proposing to eradi-
cate drunkenness was introduced in the
New York assembly the other night.
l is entitled "An act to provide for the
care of the disease of drunkenness by
the community in which the drunkard
resides, and where the license for the
sale of Intoxicating liquor is granted"
The bill states that whenever per-
soE is convicted the second time in
police or other courts for being drunk,
j. shall be the duty of the magistrate
TO commit the person to 'hospital
fer the cure of drunkards, TO remain
there until cured of the disease of
drunkenness"
The bill further stipulates that any
two reputable citizens and one physi-
clan can make affidavit that man is
a drunkard and that thereupon mag
istrate must commit the alleged drunk
ard to the asylum" T'hecost of such
treatment is to fall upon the COM
1nunity in which the drunkard resides
and is not TO exceed $l25 for any one
case.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

The government now guards whis-
KY in warehouses without the pay
ment by the distillers of the revenue
tax, and issues upon it.warehouse GER
tlhcates which are bankable paper
for the benefit of the distiller. 1t is
now proposed that the government
shall superintend the bottling of this
liquor and attach to it a stamp attest.
Ing its age so that the distiller may
get a higher price for it. And all at
government expense. If anything of
the kind were done for farmers it
would be paternalism.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
TO STOP KILLING OF SEALS.
United States Revenue Cutter Service Pre-
Ao4t..a S,ae,.x>.,

United States Revenue Cutter Service Pre-
pairing for an Active. Season.
1t has been learned that the treasury
department has issued orders to fit out
and prepare for immediate service all
revenue cutters now on the Pacific
coast. The captain of the Crown has
received instructions to at once take
aboard stores for six months cruise
in Eehring sea. The Bear is to arrive at
Port Townsend, Wash. on April II, and
all other cutters available for service
are reported to have received orders to
make that port before that date. Those
who are familiar with the revenue cut
ter service express surprise at the re-
ceipt of such instructions at this early
date. 1t is believed to be the intention
of the treasury department to exercise
more vigilance during the coming sea-
son than heretofore, and to prevent, if
possible, the wholesale slaughter of
seals within the protected zone. The
last vessel of the patrol of 1895 left
Port Townsend May 2s, but according
to present plans the entire fleet of 1896
will sail for the north not later than
April Is.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
ACCIDENTS TO BIRDS.

A poor little chaflin was found dead
near EPSON with it's lower mandible
SO firmly imbedded in the shell of
beechnut that it had been unable TO
extricate it and had died of starvation.
A hen pheasant was observed by
sportsman to be flying around and
around in q. wild manner. On being shot
it was discovered to have large oak
leaf impaled upon it's beal in such
way as to totally obscure it's vision.
Herons sometimes choke themselves
by attempting to swallow large trout.
An eider-lucll has been killed by at
tempting to swallow toad. A king
fisher was once found which could not
fly on account of having young pike
stuck in it's throat. Some hunters re-
moved the fish and the bird flew away
unhurt.
An Irish naturalist once observed a
dumlin acting in very curious manner
on the seashore. The bird would
alight, then fly short distance and
then alight again, violently shaking it's
head. A round lump appeared fastened
to its beak. 1t turned out that the bird
had innocently attempted to investi.
gate cookie which it had found open.
The shell had closed on it's bill.
Birds that employ hair in the build
ing of their nests come to grief in
strange ways. A gentleman who pos
sessed several colts one day noticed a
small bird entangled in the tail of one
of his colts. It had evidently been on a
search for hair and had become en-
shared. Cases of birds getting their
feet entangled in wool OF string are
we'll known, and death usually ensues
If human help is not forthcoming.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

The 'greenbacks which need no
oener redemption than being receiva-
ole ior all government dues may be
redeemed in silver, and if that were
rendered, there would be no demand
1or their redemption and no demand
tor more bonds. Silver certificates
redeemable alone in silver pass as
current as gold, and there is no doubt
but greenbacks if redeemable in sill.
yer would remain as good as gold.
The reserved should be abolished.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
For Ocean Steamship Tickets

Via the Beaver Line from Montreal,
Quebec to Liverpool, or via any
steamship line crossing the Atlantic,
at lowest rates for first cabin, second
cabin and Storage, both outward and
and prepaid, apply to NJ. J. White,
Agent, Chicago, Milwaukee & St.
Paul Ry., at Cresco, Iowa, or address
G. F. Wenham, Genl Steamship
Agent, 4S Adams ST., Chicago, III.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

Let the merchant who thinks there
is an lover proc uction" of manufac.
tured goods, stand at his front win.
dow few moments when the street
Is thronged with passers by and view
now they are clad. He can readily see
the demand" but he will know that
the half clad people, as a rule, have
no money to satisfy the demand.
The merchant should head the ranks
OF those demanding financial reform
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
HlLARlTy in SUPREME COURT.
Poor Joke Results in an Unseemly spasm
of Merriment.

Ol NAerFi"enCs
The dignity of the supreme court
was disturbed the other afternoon by
a joke handed down from the bench
by Judge Shiras, who was never known
to smile before. benjamin L. Fowler,
of Wyoming, was arguing case en-
titled John II. Ward, sheriff, against
Race Horse. Race Horse, a Shoshone
Indian, had been arrested by the sher-
iii for hunting, and Mr.. Fowler was de-
Tending him. He was describing some
treaty regulations and mentioned the
fact that they permitted hunting. In
some way he mentioned the fact that
smallpox had been introduced on the
reservation by hunters. Up to this
time the court had been listening at.
tentively to Mr.. Fowler's arguments
Justice Shiras interrupted Mr.. Fowler
to ask if the treaty regulations per-
mitted the introduction of smallpox
Mr.. Fowler thought the question had
been asked seriously and he answered
it in that vein. Justice Shiras began
to laugh, and Chief Justice Fuller
joined, and when the other justices
and the spectators saw the chief justice
laugh they felt it their duty to do like
wise, with the result that poor joke
caused general merriment in the SUI
preme courtroom.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
A BULLET IN HIS HEAD.
Recently Extracted After Being Carried
for Years by Chicagoan.

Recently Extracted After Being Carried
for Years by ChIcagoan.
Chicago, March 31.-James NJ. Mum,
county commissioner, who was hit in
the head by a canister shot at the battle
OF Fort Donelson, has carried the ball
in his head for over third of CEN
fury, the bullet being recently removed
and photographed in the interest of
medical SCIENCE. Owing to the pain
which Mr.. Mum suffered he could not
believe the piece of iron was not yet
with him. He visited many noted sur
geons in all parts of the country in the
hope of getting the ball removed. Twice
small pieces of bone had been removed
from his mouth and this was believed
to be the cause OF suffering until the
iron bull was extracted
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
e. A. R, Encampment.

Excursion tickets to Cedar Rapids
for $4.57, April 9th to 20; good to re.
tnrn until May End.
Look out for the following low rates
on Excursions via c. NJ. & St. Pau
r. r. National Encampment G. A. r.
St. Paul, September LIST to 3rd; only
one fare for round trip.
B. Y. P. o., Milwaukee, July 18th
to 18th; one fare for round trip.
Annual N. E. A., Buffalo, New
York, July Sd to 10th.-S2 more thar
one way rate. M. j. WHITE,
ct Agent.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

How much better do you think is a
whisky maker than corn and wheat
and pork and beef maker? The gov
eminent houses and guards the pro-
duct of the whisky maker and holds
it for him for better price, while it
seems to do everything in its power
to force the grain and meat makers
products on to the very worst market.
This is truth, and we defy its contra
diction,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
MODELS LoaN9o TO CRAMPS.
Government Allows Use of Miniature War
Ships In Securing yapanese Contracts.

Ships In Securing Japanese Contracts.
The models OF the battle ship
Indiana and the cruiser New York,
which We're reported to have been
turned over temporarily to the japanese
government to assist in determining the
character of vessels which Japan in
tends to build, have really been loaned
to the Cramps, the great Philadelphia
ship builders. Mr.. Charles Cramp ar
ranged the matter, and gave bonds for
the safe return of the models. 1t is
understood thatthcy will be used by the
Cramps to illustrate the character of
warships constructed by the firm, in
order to secure contracts for some of
the new Japanese vessels. The Indiana
and the New York were built by the
Cramps.
Each model is an exact reproduction
of the vessel it represents in every
particular, and each cost the navy de-
partment between $1,000 and $4,000.
They are about seven feet in length,
and give an excellent idea of the vessels
as they appear in active service. Every
feature of the vessel is faithfully re-
produced to carefully drawn scale,
and to an expert they will form en- in
teresting subject for study, and serve
u usefu! purpose in designing ships on
their general plan.
These models We're made at the Wash
ington navy yard by two men who are
employed exclusively on the work. They
formed one of the main exhibits of the
navy both at Chicago and Atlanta, and
ARE without doubt the finest miniature
models CT warships made. Each type
of vessels constructed for t he new navy
is represented by a model, and the
department now has about ~ different
types. Some OF the earliest ships, like
the Chicago ard Dolphin, have not yet
been produced by the model makers,
but all the recent additions, with the
exception of the Columbia type, are
on exhibition in the corridors of the
department.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
A FORTUNE AND A TITLE.
The Good News Received by German
Student in California

The Good News Received by German
Student in California.
Milliong of money and royal Ger
man title await Charles Louis Olden-
bourg, a member of the senior class
in the college of mines at the Univer-
sity of California, at Berkeley, Cal.
His amt. the present duchess of Olden-
bourg, died short time ago without
issue, leaving him heir to the title and
estate Of his uncle, of which fact he
has just received formal advice from his
aunt's attorneys. The estate is one of
the Oldest and most valuable in Ger
many, being estimated at from $a,00O,-
coo to s5,0oo,ooo. The title which the
student will receive is Charles Louis,
duke of luxembourg. lie will leave in
q few DAYS to claim his lepacy.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Snowfall in Colorado.

Denver, Col, March a1.--Over eight
inches of snow fell throughout the
greater part of Colorado Monday night.
The storm continued Tuesday with in
creasing severity, and the snowfall
promises to be greater than any during
the winter. The snow is accompanied
by high wind, but fortunately it is not
very cold,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

The republicans have the House by
a large majority and have made a
record in it on the silver question,
and no platform promise that con-
ficts with it should be considered as
made in good faith.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
A True Husband.

Nodd-Don't you think it is cruel Of
Witherby to keep on staying out SO
late at night when his wife is SO i'll?
Todd-It seems so. but it's really
thoughtful. He says if he should stay
III he is afraid the shock might prove
futal.-Truth.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
The pilgrim-Easter Number

Is now ready. Everything in it is new
and original. 1t contains articles by
Capt. Charles King, U. S. A., ex-Gov.
Geo. w. Peck, of Wisconsin, and other
noted writer's, and is an entertaining
number, we'll illustrated. The ticket
agent of the Chicago, Milwaukee G. st.
Paul R'y has limited number to dis
pose of at the rate of ten QO) cents
each, and those desiring copy should
call on him without delay. t.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

Republican editors and politicians
have worked themselves at times into
a high fever over Cleveland's bond
issues, while the cold facts are that
the big republican House not only
failed to pass law against the in
fanny but actually passed bill ex-
tending the authority to make bond
issues. The resumption act under
which the right to issue them is
claimed is a republican law.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Are Yon sick2

If SO go to the Lansing, Iowa, Santa
rum and get help. Turkish baths
are given and are good for Pain,
Nervous, Stomach and Kidney troub-
les, Piles, Back-ache and all chronic
diseases. Deafness and Catarrh sue
cessfully treated. Artesian Mineral
water used in bath rooms. Write to
DR.. Davis. 46tf
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Confercnce Postponed.

Ottawa, Ont, March 3l.-The govern
ment has been Informed by Mr.. Joseph
Chamberlain, colonial secretary, that
the conference on the Pacific cable
question has been postponed until the
first week in May. The Canadian gov
eminent is to be represented at the
conference by Sir Mackenzie Bowel
and Sandford Fleming, the originator
of the scheme
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

A desire to get their feet under the
pie-counter has been the undoing of
many good men. They haven't the
back bone to Withstand the aroma
arising from the fesh-pots.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Stock Men Fail.

Pana, ILL.,, March 3l.-Samuel and Sol
ONION Yantis, stock men of Ridge town
ship, we'll known on change, have
failed; liabilities, $4,000; assets, $45,-
600. John w. Yantis, secretary of state
board and warehouse commissioners, is
ASSIGNEE.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

A Kansas congressional district con-
vention declared the other day for
the coinage of the American silver
product. The present big republican
House voted down that proposition
by q large majority.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

All government bonds are payable
in silver at the option of the govern
ment. We have mountains of silver.
Why not coin it into dollars, pay the
bonds, avoid further debt, and relieve
the people of the burden of taxation
bonds imp ose? In whose interest is
this government run, anyhow, Roths-
childs. or the peoples?
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
OF the Hour.

Bobby-Popper, what does the paper
mean by the women of the hour?
Mr.. Ferry-I guess it means the
woman who says she will be ready to
start in IS minutes. An hour is.about
as near as she comes to it, usually
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
ForDiseases. of Horses

There is nothing that compares with
Coles Veterinary CarboIisave. 1t
cures Cuts, Wounds, Bruises, Collar
and Saddle Calls. Sores, Mango,
Scratches, Thrush, Intlammatiops
and all skin and hoof diseases quicker
than any other remedy 1t is the on
ly preparation that will invariably
renew the hair to its original color.
Edwin ID. Bither, driver of Jay Eye
See, says: Having given Veterinary
Carbolisave a thorough trial, can
fully endorse it, and take pleasure in
it to all owners of
horses as the best remedy that I ever
saw for general stable use." Large
cans LOO; Small cans so cents. Sold
by j. j. Lowry.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Long PIECE of Thinner.

A stick of timber 110 feet long and
% inches square, without knot or
blemish, was cut in mill at Hoquiam,
Wash. recently. 1t is the longest piece
of timber ever cut in that neighborhood,
and the most nearly perfect any of the
old lumberman there has ever seen.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

If you want to know what the gold
standard has done for you, compare
the amount of property it would have
taken to pay Il debt few years ago
with the amount it would take now.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
A Gross Calunny,

Mr.. Jokcs-Potts, see by the papers,
has been denounced by his creditors as
bare-faced scoundrel. think such an
accusation is absurd.
Mrs. J.-Why SO?
Mr.. J.-Bccause he wears full beard.
To Date
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Preparation.

George-Would you like to go to the
theater this evening, Miss Mabel?
Mabel-Indeed would. I'll be ready
in moment. just wait till i can go
upstairs and put on my biggest hat
Somerville Journal.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
An Anxious Customer.

John Potts-Are you the medium who
advertises to unite the separated?
Medium (proudly)-I never fail.
John Potts-I wish you would con-
meet me with the 500 got separated
from last night.-Life.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
hIlsinterpreted.

Marie, your father must like me;
he lent he twenty dollars"
mo, Charlie; he told me he expect
cd it would cost lin something to
keep you from coming here SO often"
Chicago Record.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Time Given

To whom it may concern:
! hereby give my minor son, John
Shafer, age 16, his time, and will be
responsible for no contracts he may
make and will claim none of his wages.
FRANK SHAFER.
Creseo, Iowa, April 8, 1896.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Deep Mourning.

"Grieyed2" said Mr.. x. Ajyrate. 81
was SO grieved over the loss of my dear
uncle that wept ink for three days!"-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

1t would be rather superfuous for
Cleveland to decline q third term.
The people will attend to that when
the time comes.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
She Did.

He-Will you give me just one Kiss?
She-My dear boy, you don't know
how little satisfaction there is in just
one kiss.-Truth.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
In 1900.

Mrs. Emancipus Offering box)-Will
you have cigarette?
Mrs. Findesiecle-What brand /, arc
they?
Mrs. Emancipus-Id don't know. They
ore some my husband bought for me
last Christmas.
Mrs. Findesiecle (hurriedly) Than.
you, don't care to smoke just now
N. Y. World,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
No Comparison.

Don't you think the atmosphere in
our theaters is vile?
"Yes, but purer than on the stage."-
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

A darty that insists on making one
dollar redeemable in another and
scarcer dollar, is not in favor of max
ing all dollars equal.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

There is standing reward for the
discovery of a democratic postmaster
who is figuring on another term.
They are too well posted on the trend
of public opinion.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Consolipe Tl,onpbt

us hard to love and not be loved;
Still, balm attends the curse;
Inc man who has no flowers to buy
Keeps money in his purse.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
I'll. r,c.,son

whatever drove you to marrying "A
wives?" asked the judge, regarding the
prisoner with more than ordinary inter-
est.
Thirteen was such an unlucky num-
Der to stop at, your honor!" answered
the renitent prisoner, wiping his eyes
with his coat sleere.-Chicago Tribune.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
Salvation Army Factories.

The mills and factories established in
this country by the Salvation Army
give employment to 10000 persons,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

We favor the free coinage of silver
at 16 to without waiting for the ac-
ton of England, or either OF the old
parties.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07
a practical Answer.

This is leap year." remarked the
maiden timidly, land ! am disposed to
avail myself of my sex's privilege. Mr..
Tillinghast, l love you. Will you be
mine?'
"But can yon support husband?"
asked Mr.. Tillinghast, anxiously.-
Judge.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

The Morton boom seems to be like
Morton, a little too oldiand thin.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

The way for the government to con.
troll the railroads is to own them.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-04-07

We believe the alien ownership of
vast bodies of land should be prohibit
ted forever.