Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1896-05-19

CRANKS.
IWuz in crowd 'tother day
when Teller whom nature had
not furnished with brains enough
to start a second class idiot asy-
lum with begun to fire away at
the Pops. He had learned the
usual rigmorole about "silver
fanatics, dupes of the silver
plutes, Demo>Pops, anarchists,
and cranks.' In fact, / made up
my mind purity soon that he had
been feedin' his so-called brain
on the diluted pincushion swill
dished up by that thar hard work
ed weekday writer and Sunday
lawyer, Hazelton. | stood it ez
long ez [ could, but after the 18th
repetition of the word ''crank" my
dander riz, and I got up, pinted
my finger at that blam ed repeater,
and jest gave him a piece of my
mind. SEE I.
II am a crank, and I'm proud of it.
for himself, and not only that but he
dares to tell other people about it,
and try to make them see the truth.
| What would this world be without
cranks, anyhow? Hasn't every reform
er, every inventor, everyman that has
taken a step forward, pullin' the world
along with him, been called a crank?
Why, the Society of Incorrigible
cranks has numbered among it's men,
bers all the men worth counting.
And havn't everyone Of them been
laughed at and prosecuted by the
people whose interest it has been to
keep the people in the chains of men
tai or physical slavery? And haven't
they been laughed at and denounced by
the very people they have been trying
to help? When the Pharisees tell the
rabble to boot at and demand the life
of their best friends they always rare
up on their hind legs and bray as they
, are told to.
''Oh, yes. ain a crank, 1t runs in
E our family. Way back in England
, one Of the Cricketts was such a big
crank that he took notion to wor-
=, ship God in his own way, instead of
acceptin' the plan of salvation that
Z had been laid out for him by his SUI
l periors. OF course they made it hot
for him, but he was SO cranky that
rather than give up he left his home
and native land and went into the
American wilderness, and spent the
rest OF his life fightip' 'twild nature
and wild Injuns. Of course none but
q crank would have done such silly
thing, but somehow or other l feel
proud of the fact that I'm a descend
ant Of that crank.
\ ''Another Of my ancestors took
4 notion that this land ought to be free
= and he actually went so far in his
! crankiness that he took up his old
, rifle and went out to fight against the
constituted authorities. OF course he
. was told that obedience to the rulers
given us by God was the duty of ev-
cry christian, but he could not see it
that way, and he was cranky enough
to act on his own ideas. Of course if
= he had lived in these days every pluto
D organ would have howled about anar-
y chy treason, etc. He was a rebel, but
he was among the honored band that
made this country free for a while,
y and blamed if I don't feel proud of
that crank too.
my father came near being killed by
: mob in northern city jest becauz
f he was so Internally cranky as to be-
lieve that when Jefferson writ that
all men are created free,' he meant
the niggers too. The fellers what
mobbed my father hadn't no slaves
themselves, but they have been told
that such talk created bad feelings
and disturbed the commercial rela-
lions between the North and the South
sort of creating a want of conf
dedce like the Republicans have been
talking about now.
"And farther and I were cranky
enough to risk our lives in the war.
jest to free lot of niggers we had
never seed, nor ever expected to. But
| don't feel ashamed of it. Father
fell by my side, butt don't think he
could have died nobler way, and it
sort of took away the bitterness of
parting. "
'Oh, yes, we are cranks. Here T
nave tolled all my life, till my limbs
are stiff and aching and still I'm
making Roadway backwards. I got a
homestead free, but I had a large
family OF boys growing up, and I
wanted to see the Cricketts close to-
gether SO 1 went to work and BOUGHT
lot OF land on credit. Then I had to
mortgage the homestead TO get teams
and machinery. Times - were good
then: And | expected to pay it soon.
But Jest then the money kings began
to turn their screws by means of con
tracing the currency, prices fell. and
instead OF bein' able to pay part Of
the principal each year I have to
hustle to pay the interest. NV bovs
had to stay out of school. Wurk your
CAB SO briskly and spew your months
1pl OF dirt at me every time you get a
chance, but / tell you, and YOU can
! tell your bosses from me that calm,
names don't make no converts this
s year: The mortgages on nv land
speak a blame sight louder than vo,,
90 and there is q lot ofmeaning in tRe;r
al talk too xub io1, -, =, - .