Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1896-01-10

thing that governed lac. l loved Ada so
much-I'll call her Ada since you mover
can know her real name-that l could not
think of her lightly. She would have to
be all or nothing to mo, and | was actual
" afraid to make her my wife 1t isn't
easy to describe the condition Of mind
was In. When try to realize it myself,
get confused.
81 can't even think how it would havo
ended If the end had not been brought
about by curious accident. While l was
still struggling with myself, unable to de-
eide one way or the other and almost worn
but with the violence of my own emotions,
fearing to go near Ada and yet utterly
unable to keep away from her, went one
night nfter the play to club that L be-
longed to.
1T was bohemian sort of club, where
there was great latitude allowed in the in
PRODUCTION of friends rs guests of the club,
SO j was not surprised to find n group of
men 10 tho smoking room who were
strangers to mo. Neither aid notice at
first what they were talking about, but as
l was looking around to see who among
my friends was present l caught her name
in most miserably hippant sentence.
The speaker was big, handsome fellow,
dressed in tho height of fashion, whom l
had never seen before, a fop, but by no
means "a gentleman in appearance.
Il spoke instantly, for was furious.
we do not call it good form here l said,
Ito discuss n lady's name in y clubrooDi,
and shall insist that you make no further
remarks about that particular lady
HE stared at mo Il moment, and then,
with an insolont laugh, replied: You are
greatly mistaken. l was not speaking Of
lady. | mentioned little actress at the
Halcyon theater.
Il afterward learned that ne was one OF
u class Of men, more numerous 40 years
ago than they arc now, who were proud
of their reputation as fighters and who
lost no opportunity for brawl But if
had known 1t at the time it would have
mado no difference for l was mad with
rage. | made hot answer and stepped
toward him. but no was quicker than
and struck me across the face with a
loaded cane.
Il fell iusensible and marked for life
as you see mo now. OF course that ended
my career Us an actor We did not know as
much about makeup then us the actors dc
now, but nobody would try to fix up such
a face as mine for the stage even now.
That wasn't the worst of it. l was
carried home and taken care of by my
friends for two OF three weeks before 1 was
able to move around, for the injury was
dangerous as vol as painful. Ada had
inquired about me when l was missed
from the theatcr and at frat had wanted
to come and nurse me, but I wouldn't al
low it. There wore two or three reasons.
! hoped at first that | wOuldn be so badly
disfigured as am, and did not want her
to be shocked at tho sight. Then wanted
time to make up my own mind. was
not overconCeited, but she had given me
every reason to believe she loved INC, and
it seemed certain that she would say yes
If asked her to marry mo, and was still
afraid to do that. That sounds conceitod
certainly, but felt sure 1 was right, and
she told me long afterward that was
She would have married me If had asked
before was manned, and lived to thank
God that didn't, though that was years
later.
"When first came out 1 didn't feel that
way, for mylOve for her was strong enough
to conquer everything else, and 1 sought
her eagerly. She had gone from the thea
tor, and could learn nothing of her at
her lodgings but it didn't take mo long to
find out that she had run away with the
very man who had struck me down. She
was poor, and he had tempted her with
money. When l add that he had wife
living, needn't say any more.
IF you had known me at any time in
the next five years, 1 suppose l would not
have called you wrong in speaking Of my
hard fate for it certainly appeared hard to
mo then. | had no ties and no ambition.
1t was hard for me even to make living,
though l did after time get job as stage
carpenter, and have done fairly we'll at
that ever since.
But the salt was all gone out of my
life. l tried to forget Ada and after q
time thought had succeeded, though l
had wild notions now and again of follow
ing him and her and killing them both.
1t seemed to me, though, that by doing
that 1 would wrong myself more than
either Of them had wronged me- and l
conquered the temptation in time Bm
very glad of that, and am glad, too, that
never had serious thought Of any other
woman In all that time. 1t would have
been foolish if l had, for my face would
have barred the way, but l am glad be-
cause it proves to me that did not really
succeed In killing my love.
Il heard OF her from time to time. III
fact, made it my business to, but | never
tried to sec her or send her any word, even
after heard that she had left the life she
was leading and had entered home. And
even after that, when learned that she
had joined sisterhood, and was devotng
her life to works of charity and piety, l
made no sign, for L remembered what
love of beauty she always had, and could
not forget my face. My trouble seemed
greater than ever them but knew still
loved her because was SO happy in think
ing of her new life
Then one night one of the sisters came
to the stage door and told mo that she was
dying, or they feared she was and that
she wanted to see me- She had been hurt
by an accident and brought to this very
hospital.
IL cannot tell you much about our
meeting. There was an almost divine sor-
row in her beautiful eyes as she looked at
me, and for an instant l thought it was
pity, but only for an instant. 1t was sor-
row for her own sin, not only against hor-
self but the wrong she had done me, and
her first words were plea for my forgive
ness. And she seemed hardly able to be-