The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-06-16
THREE WAR
A Surprised Private-.Cne Bridge Cosby
Couldn't Burn--Ready to Drink.

survived the war. He was somewhat
sentimental and naturally fell in love
with any good looking girl he might
see. He fell in love with a young wO
man of Murfreesboro and slipped eff
to see her at every opportunity. One
day his feelings so overwhelmed him
that he suddenly found himself pro
posing marriage to her.
mo" che replied, her eyes filing,
II can never marry you"
Sterrett was surprised.
"Why not7' he asked.
"Oa, my heart is gone. It's in the
grave. 1t was buried when they bur
led Captain - five months ago"
That was too much for Sterrett. He
at once became angry.
Very we'll, miss" he said. "It you
can love a dead captain better than a
live private you can scratch for it."
General Cosby had a mania fer burn
ing down bridges. Whenever he heard
there was q bridge in his neighborhood
he promptly had it laid low. His con
tinuous destruction Of bridges several
times got himself and his men in tight
places, where a bridge would have
come in mighty handy, and resulted in
an uneasy feeling among his men.
He moved into Virginia in the neigh
b0rhood Of the Natural Bridge and one
day g6ve his men permission to inspect
thegreat natural wonder. Two cavaI
rymen, n of a poetic turn and the
otherof a worldly, practical turn, hap
pened to go together.
Isn't this the most stupendous, mag
n~iicent, grand view you ever saw9"ex
claimed the poetic man grandilcquent-
ly. "G,ze upon that landscape. See
how beautiful are the works o fnature."
He continued in this strain several min
utes and finally asked the other his opin
ion.
II don't now much about it's being
~stupendous, nor any O. that sort o.
thing, but I'm ID glad that we've
found n bridge that Cosby can't
burn up" -
In the reg ment with General Duke
was a soldier named named Jack Skill
man, who was a great hand at telling
yarns HIS yarns were about great
acts which he said he did, but which he
never performed, ignoring completely
several astonishing deeds of bravery
he really did, and which really were
more remarkable than any alleged act
he told about. The scene of one of his
yarns was a strip along the bank of the
Tennessee river lying between Chatta
nooga and Knoxville. At the point
mentioned the river flowed in q deep
canyon and appeared from above to be
a thread winding about, hundreds of
feet below. It ri a dizzy height.
Il was a goin' long here one day all
| by myself, said he, and when leone
to this pint 1 see a bl med Yankee all
by himself a comm toward me. Ieays
to myself, saysI, 1t amt no use O. our
f8htin' here, where no one amt lookin'
and where we'd like as not fail down
the cliff
Il tole the Yankee we needn't fight.
Yes, we wall, says he.
81 said no. Our fghtin' wouldn't
decide the war; say 1, AN we mought
as we'll be friends And l tole hum to
come along and havea drink.
The blamed Yankee kept on tellin'
me We was a-goin' TO fight, and fore l
knowed it be jumped on to me. Well,
| sab, how we did fight! We knocked
each other down and wallowed and
wallowed an scratched and tore roun',
and I seed more stars than you can
think of. On, we did fight!
Pretty soon I saw we were a goin
over to the edge OF the precipice. In
another minute l see we was lost Over
we went a whiriin an a-whizEin,
q fightin an q acraGchin. We bumped
into the rocks as we went down an
| knocked lots of 'em loose. l thought
we was goin to reach bottom,
After what seemed two hours we
struck kerplank! Whewl We was
knocked apart by the lick, an l
thought the Yankee would be dead. l
raised up an looked. Just as 1 raised
the Yankee raised too.
"Reb,' says he, / believe I'll take
that drink nov" -LouisvJlte Courier
| journal.
A BACHELOR TAX.