davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-04-22

'Ho MISUNDERSTANDING of a most suit
able nature for the establishment of a
school located at Huntersville, POcahontas
county, w. Va, are for rent or sale The peO-
pie are prosperous and it is splendid oppor-
tun1ty for any enterprising teacher. For fur
Their particulars, address this ONCE.
jan 22-tf
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1896-04-22
When They are Held.

All non-partisan primary elections
are held at the end of the rainbow,
and the same class of people go there
to vote. as go there to find the pot of
gold.
The First National Bank of Bedford
failed on last Thursday. its capital
was $4,000 and its surplus and profits,
$23, 900. Its individual deposits
amounted to $4,000. The bank owed
$4,000 of borrowed money. Bank ex-
aminer Burgwin has been placed in
charge of the bank. Soon after the
announcement that the First National
Bank at Bedford City had closed, the
Liberty Savings Bank closed it's doors.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05

Suddenly found myself in a sack
much larger than my body, but COM
pletely dark. felt about me and my
hand came in contact with several
fishes, some of which seemed to be
still alive, for they squirmed in my
fingers and slipped back to my feet
Soon l felt a great pain in my head
and my breathing became more and
more difficult; at the same time felt
a terrible heat; it seemed to consume
me, growing hotter and hotter; my
eyes became Goals of fire in my head
and 1 believed every moment that |
was going to be broiled alive.
"The horrible thought that l was
condemned to perish in the belly OF a
whale tormented me beyond endur-
anee, while at the same time the aw-
full silence of the terrible prison
weighed me down. l tried to rise, to
move my arms and legs, to cry out.
All action was now impossible, but my
brain seemed abnormally clear, and
with full comprehension of my aw-
ful fate, finally lost consciousness"
The truth of this extraordinary ad-
venture is vouched for by the sailors
and the captain OF the Star OF the
East. 1t appears that James BARLEY
is man about thirty-five years of age,
OF strong physique and wonderful
powers of endurance, as have been at.
tested by many incidents in the voy.
age just ended. Since the steamer
has been in Liverpool, BARLEY has,
on two or three different occasions,
suffered from the old authorizations,
and has imagined that he was being
consumed in a fiery furnace. 1t be.
came necessary to send him to the
hospital in London.
His general health seems good, but
his skin still retains peculiar blush
tinge which seems indelible and
which was doubtless caused by the
action Of the gastric juice OF the whales
stomach.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
REED ON M'KINLEY.
Calls the Ohio MAN q Straddle.bug
and Ridicules HIS Pretensions.

Calls the Ohio Man q StFaddle.bug
and Ridicules HIS Pretensions.
A recent Washington dispatch says:
Reed as wit has been in eclipse
for months. As a presidential candi.
date he has been forced to restain his
prediction to joke and to let fly all
sorts of sarcastic quips.
but the Mckinley triumphs every
where have been taken as q release
from the restraint 90 irritating to
man Of his effervescent nature. At
all events he could not resist the
temptation to make this comment on
McKinley's evasive attitude on the
financial question. In discussing the
failure to get q straightforward state
ment from Mckinley On his money
views, Reed said few days ago:
"'McKinley doesn't want to be
called gold-bug or a silver.bug, so he
has compromised on a straddle-bug,' ,
Reed made Mckinley chairman
of the Ways and Means Committee
OF the House, which with the aid of
paid lobbyists framed the so-calle d
Mckinley bill, aud made the Ohio
man a Presidential possibility. Reed
feels that the fates have been unkind
and that Mckinley has been unjustly
favored.
"Reed a short time ago told q
reminiscence with much pertinence
to the present situation. Mckinley
has been much advertised as the ad.
vance agent OF prosperity What
Reed thinks of this is made plain in
this story:
" Advance agent OF prosperity"
said he. Humph! when was boy
the advance agent of the circus
would 60 through the country and
cover the sides of barns and the
fences with the most gorgeous posters
OF what the circus would be. There
would be q long procession of knights
in gold and silver armor, and ladies
bedecked in silks and diamonds,
mounted on beautiful Arabian steeds.
There would be huge elephants, tigers,
lions, camels, hippopotamuses, and
such, enough to stock a wilderness.
q" When the circus came it was the
usual little one-ring affair, with one
measly, lop-eared, slab-sided elephant,
NANCY lion and a one.humped
camel.
1t never came up to the show
bills, but there was always at least one
first-class acrobat who could ride two
horses at once.'"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
WHOLE NUMBER 1899.
JOHN HENRY M,GRAW.

He had revelled in laughter for years
Whereer he might be,
At circus or german,
Or funeral sermon,
He laughed both at smiles and at tears
At glee-tee-hee-hee!
Or wOe-hO-hO-ho!
Did McGraw-haw-haw haw!
With giggle and roar and guffaw-
'Naught will ever be done
That will not make ME fun"
Said ridiculous Mr.. McGraw,
Haw-haw"
Prophetic John Henry McGraw!
He laughed when the sun set or rose;
He Uttered with glee
At the moon old or new,
At the sky when twas blue,
And when leadened by rains or by SHOWS.
"YOu see-tee-hee hee!
That so-hO-ho-hov'
Said McGraw-" haw-haw.hawn
With giggle and roar and guffaw;
II show that for gloom
In nay heart there's no room,
And I'll laugh till die" said McGraw,
"Haw-haw"
Alas! for John Henry McGraw!
Every friend said. "Ah, me!
He'll go crazy or die
II he can't be made cry!
Will nothing induce him to grieve?"
"What, me?-tee- hee.hee!
No, no!-hoho-hor'
Said McGraw-' haw-haw hawr'
With giggle and roar and guffaw;
"Can there be reason why
should sob or should sigh?
Nothing's mournful to Mr.. McGraw.
Haw-haw!
Mistaken John Henry McGraw!
So they gave him up as bad job,
I'm his unseemly glee
He will die or go mad!
How shockingl how sad!''
While they mourned thus he choked with a
sobl
What, he!-tee-hee hee!
Had woe-ho- ho-ho!
Seized McGraw!- w!-haw-haw.haw!
Where's his giggle and roar and guffaw!
"Oh, would I'D been dead
Ere these things had read!
Such lugubrlous thingsw sobbed McGraw!
"Ah! All"
oh, pity John Henry McGraw!
They're SO mournful!" he cried. between
chokes
Spread out on his knees
(While tears dimmed his eye),
Comic papers did lie;
He'd been tackling some of their jokesi
Yes, he!-tee-hee-hee!
Twas sO!-ho.ho-hO!
Poor McGraw w!-haw.h haw-hawi
How his friends giggle, roar and guffaw!
For much did those Jokes
Rejoice his good folks
They knocked the laugh out of McGrawl
Haw.haw!
Misguided John Henry McGraw!
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
Spokane Chronicle.

Yes, it's us. We're home again
sure. Good time? Well, nowl If
that wasn't the jolliest crowd at Ever
ett-'scuse me for yswning-if that
wasn't the jolliest crowdl And hos
pitablel Why, that's no name for it.
Just anything you wanted and
How about that financial plank p
As l was saying, it was the biggest
collection of royal good fellows you
ever saw. Never had an idea John
McGraw could unbend that way and
be so sociable. And Burleigh-I tell
you, sir. Andy's q princel A prince,
sir, that's what he is. And the whole
Spokane del
"But what about that gold stand.
ard resolutionf"
Speaking of enthusiasm, too-you
never saw such an enthusiastic con-
vention in your life. One time l re-
member Wiley-Long John Wiley,
you know-John got up and when
they wasn't expecting it he just men,
toned Mckinley. And you ought to
have seen 'em! Honest, l thought
they'd lift the whole roof, shingles and
all. Enthus-
"What do you think OF the sound
money platform?"
Funny weather this, isn't it? Don't
it make you dry? 1t does me-been
dry ever since l left Everett. What's
yours? Yes, sir, il that man Bur.
leigh wants to be Senator or anything
else, just let him say so, that's all.
Eloquent? Regular tongue of Cicero
and brainy-not just q rattlebox,
you know, but
"The majority against silver was re-
markably heavy, wasn't it?"
Got a match about your Thanks.
Yes, sir, Washington got on the band
wagon in great style. Eight votes for
Mckinley first, last and forever-and
If he's nominated there won't be any
thing too rich for us fellows that went
to Everett. Just between you and me
the place I'd like is
"What are you going to do about
free coinage?"
Free coin - Great heavens, man
can't you talk on any other subject?
Who said anything about free coinage
Who gives q whoop for the money
question, anyhow? It's dead Issue
sir-deader'n Pharaoh. Tariffs what
this country needs-not one of these
little bob-tailed tariffs, either, but a
big, high wall that'll shut out those in.
fernal foreigners that are running it
And if we don't whoop 'er up Nc.
Kinley-Hello, there's Jones! Excuse
me - got to see him. Oh, Jones
Jonesyl Hold on just minute
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05

A. c. Cummins, foreman OF the
Walla Walla Gazette, although deaf
mute, is an experienced printer, and
has been proprietor Of several news
papers in Washington. To a person
not acquainted with the printing bu.i-
ness, it is curious to watch printers
talk to Mr.. Cummins. They simply
walk up TO his cease" and rapidly
spell off q conversation from the type
boxes, and he replies very rapidly in
the same manner.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
For your Protect ction.- -Catarrh "Cures" or

For your Protecti Catarrh "Cures" or
Tonics for Catarrh in liquid form to be taken
internally, usually contain either Mercury or
Iodide of Potassa, or both, which are injur-
ious if too long taken. Catarrh is local, not
q blood disease, caused by sudden change to
cold or damp weather. It starts in the nasal
passages, Affecting eyes, ears and throat.
Cold in the head causes excessive flow Of
mucus, and, if repeatedly neglected, the re-
suits of catar1h will follow; severe pain in
the head, roaring sound in the ears, bad
breath, and oftentimes an offensive dis
charge. Theremedy should be quick to allay
inflammation and heal the membrane. Ely's
Cream Balm is the acknowledged cure for
these troubles and contains no mercury
nor any injurious drug. Price, so cents.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05

England, there is a profit Of about
1000 per cent. on the cost of produc-
ton. There are apparently less lucra-
tive trades than the cure OF corruption
by corruption"
If there are physicians who dare
recommend the use of anti-toxine in
the face OF all these facts, which are
mere drop in the bucket compared
with the testimony that can be pro-
duced against it, is there still parent
80 creduleus or ignorant as to take the
chance OF seeing his child killed by its
use when other remedies are not of
themselves fatal?
This is like all the other remedies
discovered through the accursed
means OF vivisectiOn. Millions of ami
mails have been tortured to learn some
new remedy, and thousands of inno-
cent human victims have died to prove
these so-called discoveries are utterly
false. OF course, all the foregoing
will be pronounced untrue
by those who favor the use of anti-tox-
inc; like the Spartan who allowed the
fox hidden under his cloak to tear out
his vitals before he would own the
theft, they will not acknowledge them
selves to be wrong even though Death
himself is their accuser.
SARA THoRP THOMAS,
Alexander, Arkansas.
p. S.-As I close this article, I no.
tice in the N. Y. Tri- Weekly World
under date of May Goth, telegram
from Washington saying U. S. Com
mercial Agent Moore of Weimer, Ger
many, has made the incident referred
to in the Medical News of April 18th
the death of DR.. Langerhaus' child)
the subject of special report to which
the particular attention OF the Cover
nor and his advisers is respectfully
called. SIT.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
SARA THoRP THOMAS,
Couldn,t Be More Explicit.
Seattle Telegraph.

Major Mckinley has yielded to the
pleasure which has been brought to
bear upon him from all directions and
authorized an interview for publica.
ton. Upon only one direct question
from the interviewer did the Canton
major hesitate or trim. Remember
ing indignation aroused by ex-Presi-
dent Harrison's alleged disapproval of
certain styles of feminine dress, he
refused to commit himself on the
question of bloomers.
Do you believe in bloomers?" asked
the interviewer.
THAT is too delicate a question for
me to answer" replied the man who
looks like Napoleon at Waterloo. 81
might tread on somebody's toes and
prefer to be excused. Let those wear
them who want to, and vice versa" F."
This reply at once demonstrates the
caution and the broad catholicity of
the prospective Republican candidate
for Presidential honors. While giving
no intimation of his own preference in
the matter, the Canton major has left
us to understand that in the event of
his election he will not follow Cleve-
lands example and issue ukase for
bidding the ladies of the cabinet 10
ride the wheel or appear in bloomers
" if they want TO, or vice versa"
But while approaching the bloomer
question with diplomatic caution, the
protective phenomenon comes out
squarely on the other great issues of
the day; for instance, he refers to the
TACT that Cleveland puts up a stiff
game OF ball and coldly refuses to even
mention the Cincinnati reds. The
TACT stares us in the face that Nc
Kinley is not afraid to declare him.
self on such important matters.
In his Endorsement OF Methodism
the major is emphatic in his support
OF American sport. When asked for
an opinion on the results of the con-
ference, he said, without the least
show OF reserve: 1.-THE Methodists
are good sect and / am proud to be
one of them."
1t is not surprising that Mr.. Hanna,
who has been waiting in suspense for
the interviewer to complete his seance
with Major Mckinley, gave way to
rejoicing when informed of the result,
Mr.. Hanna indorsed every utterance
OF his chief, and added, on his own
personal responsibility: "The state.
ments are significant and splendid and
just what we want, if they will only
let us fight it out on this line"
After these manly declarations by
ex Governor Mckinley, his opponents
will surely hardly be so unfair as to
press him further on the financial ques-
ton. The delegation OF New York
business men which proposes to visit
Canton, could not be presumptuous
enough to expect q more positive
declaration on the money question
than Major Mckinley has given as to
bloomers. The subjects are equally
delicate. Let those who want sound
money currency have it and vice versa,
is platform on which Mckinley can
afford to stand until the st. Louis
convention has adjourned.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05

T1LLMAN HAUsER, of Ellensburg, has
planted seed of the German grass
sandvech," and intends to give it q
thorough test. He is also experiment.
ing with "sperry." They are both
said to be fine grasses, and his tests
will be watched with interest.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05

DANDRUFF is due to an enfeebled
state of the skin. Hall's Hair Re.
newer quickens the nutritive functions
of the skin, healing and preventing
the formation of dandruf.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
THE

All other California wines at the very lowest
prices Sample room and beer hall attached.
charge. T. PITII2ys VI
july 1871 Manager.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05

The great popularity of Ayers
Cherry Pectoral as a cough-cure is
easily explained. 1t is soothing, heal
ing, agreeable to the taste, does not
interfere with digestion, and is the
most economical of all similar prepare.
ton. 1t is prompt to act and sure to
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05

The Post-Intelligencer and the WASH
INGToN STANDARD will be sent one year
for 81 cash, by paying subscriptions to
the STANDARD.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
Is A MODERN JONAH.
ENGLISH SAILOR SWALLOWED
BY A WHALE.

He Was Rescued Alive, and Spent
Thirty-six Hours in the Monsters
Beliy-TeIls of the Feelings and
Sensations EXpeFienCed.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1896-06-05
DAILY TIME CARD.
OLYMPIA, TACOMA AND SEATTLE ROUTE
s. WILEY NAVIGATION CO.'S
CITY OF ABERDEEN,

connecting with boats for Shelton and Kamil-
che.
LANDINGS: City Dock, Seattle; Commercial
Dock. Tacoma; Percivals Dock, Olympia
Fare between Seattle and Tacoma, so cents:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-09-12
OKLAHOMA DIVORCES ILLEGAL.
Territorial Supreme Court Decision Az
fectinS Thousands.

GUTHRIE, Okla, Sept. 3.-The terri
torial supreme court, late this evening,
handed down an opinion which places
a prominent and wealthy New York
city man and a well-known Cincinnati
woman in Il peculiar position, and will,
by its sweeping Interpretation of the
divorce law, create CONSERVATION
among the thousands from all parts of
the United States who have secured
Oklahoma divorces.
In May, 1895, after a hard-fought
trial, Charles +. Beach, a well-known
writer of legal text books, with offices
in New York, Chicago and Indianapo-
lis, obtained a divorce from his wife,
Annie NJ. Beach, on the ground of
cruelty and incompatibility of temper.
Mrs. Beach at once appealed the case
to the supreme court, the Transcript
being the most complete and volumin-
Gus ever filed, and the court to-day,
with n full bench, reversed the lower
court, annulling the divorce and dis
missing the case.
The ground for reversal on error
was that Beach was never 4 resident
in good faith of the territory, or of
the county in which the divorce was
granted, having lived at Perry three
months. simply as a transient guest,
and gone to Normandy, where the di-
vorce was granted, but the day before
the application was fled.
The holding of the court will annul
three-fourths of the divorces granted
in the territory.
Beach, who is n leading member of
the Manhattan club and receives S2O,-
900 Il year royalty from his numerous
law text books, has. since obtaining
the divorce, married Mrs. Day, 4 widow
of Cincinnati, O., and the W. are now
travelling in Europe.
Mrs. Beach, who wins the fight, was
a Miss Annie Van Loon, of Philadel-
phia, wealthy and highly connected,
and was married to Beach in Decem-
Der, 1Sg2, in New York city, being II
wears his senior.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-09-12

This convention has assembled TO uphold the
principles upon when depend the honor and
welfare Of the American people; in order that
democrats throughout the Union may unite
their patriotic efforts 10 avert disaster from
their country and ruin from their party.
The democratic party is pledged to equal
and exact justice to all men Of every creed
and conditions: to the largest freedom Of the
individual consistent with good government;
to the preservation Of the federal government
IN is constitutional v!ror and to the support
OF the states in all thei: Just rights; to econO-
MY in the public expenditures; to the main
teuance Of the public f1ith and So.ind money:
and it is opposed TO paternaljSn and al class
legislation.
The declarations Of the Chicago convention
attack Individual freedom. the right OF private
contract. the independence of the judiciary
aad the power Of the president to enforce fed
eral laws; they advocate a reckless attempt TO
increase the Price OF silver by legislation to
the debaSement OF our monetary standard,
and threaten unlimited issues OF paper money
by the government. They abandon tor repub-
lican allies the democratic cause OF tariff re-
form to court the favor OF protectionists to
their fiscal heresy.
In view Of these other grave departures from
democratic principles, We can not support the
candidates of that convention, nor be bound
BY its acts. sThe democratic party has survived
many defeats. but could not survive a victory
won in behalf OF the doctrine and policy pro-
claimed in its name at Chicago.
The conditions, however, which make posi-
bic such uttcrances from 4 national convention
are the direct result OF class legislation by the
republican party. 1t still proclaimS, as II has
for years, the power and duty OF government
to raise and maintain prices by the law, and it
proposes no remedy for existing evils except
oppressive and unjust taxation.
The National democracy here reconvered
therefore renewS its declaration Of faith in
democratic principles. especially as applicable
to the conditions Of the times.
Taxation, tariff, excise or direct, is right
fully imposed only for public purposes, and
not for private gain. It's amount is justly
measured by public expenditures. which should
be limited by ScrUpulouS economy. The sun
derived by the treasury from tariff and excise
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-09-12
One of the Best Trains to Be Found in
the World.

"If you will go down to the Union Station
almost any evening now you will see the
finest mail train in the United States, or
elsewhere for that matter" said Chief Clerk
p. NJ. Coates of the Railway Mail Service
in charge Of the Chicago and Omaha fast
mail. The cars AVE nearly all been re-
modelled. renovated. and painted anew
The third set Of cars is now in the Burning
ton cOmpany's shops undergoing treatment.
All the old oil lamps lave been removed
and instead the entire train of five cars IS
lighted with PintSch gas. There are seven
lamps Of four burners each 60 each car.
The carS have been furnished with new
trucks, or the old ones taken apart and re-
fitted piece by piece. All the most modern
appliances in the matter of couplings and
airbrskes help to give the flyer the bestpos-
sible equipment of any train eXtant.
The new fast mail engine No. $50, built
especially for service on trains No. Z and 5,
by which Uncle Sans trains on the 20"
between Chicago and Omaha are known, has
been trained into fine service, and others OF
the same pattern will saOn be on the rails.
The governments train now makes Omaha
in eleven and one-half hours, running 500
miles between 3 4. m. aud > 80 p. IN.
Chief Clerk Coates says that he cannoG
remember of a 81, gle instance when Uncle
Sans flyer has been one minute late at the
Union Pacific transfer this year.-Chicdgo
Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1896-09-12
Coed News from South Dakota.

The glorious results of this seasons
harvest Of golden grain will pour 4 stream
of sound money into the pockets OF every
Dakota farmer.
South Dakota has thousands of acresof
choice farming and ranch land lying east OF
the Missouri river, and within one days
ride from Chicago or Milwaukee, which can
now be bought reasonably cheap, but which
before the end of another year may be adj
vanced in price.
The stock raising industry in South Da-
kota IS profitable, and eastern capital IS.
now being invested In cattle and sheep
growing in hat state.
Diversified farming, tho growing of live
stock, and the products OF he dairy, are
placing South Dakota foremost in the ranks'
Of the successful western states. ,
Those desiring full information on the
subject. and particularly those who wish to-
seek a new home or purchase land, are re.
uuested to correspond with w. Z. Powell,
General Immigration Agent. 40 Old Colony
Building. Chicago, H., or H. +. Hunter,i
Immigration Agent for South Dakota, 30
Dearborn ST., Chicago, IL.