davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
AN EMBARRASSING MISTAKE.



He was very busy, no doubt, ponder
ing some deep subject. He strobe along
with his hat well over his brow and his
eyes fixed upon the ground. He had
been accosted several times in the block
by beggars and had his train of thought
interrupted by stopping to fling them
a coin.
He was vaguely aware that figure
had stopped in front of him and he said,
rather testify:
q haven't any change"
The gasp of breath which caused him
to look up produced an exclamation
from his lordship. Standing before him
was fairer vision than is usually be-
held in Wall street. She was very
charming young woman, wearing the
very choicest of grass. cloth gowns,
| usder which CLEANED a darkrose silk.
| che held her pretty parasol we'll away
from her face as she looked haughtily
at him, and her cheeks grew crimson
under her veil, until they rivaled the
American Beauty rose she wore at her
belt.
He tried to apologize, but before he
could summon the proper words she
turned to man near, who looked as if
he would be willing to spend his life in
her service, and asked him the way to
her lawyers office. She evidently was
in a part of New York new to her, and
there was not messenger boy or po-
| liceman in sight.
With glance of triumph at the first
one he gave her the necessary directions
prolonging them as much as he dared
that he might look into the beautiful
eyes upturned to his own.
He raised his hat when she said, with
q bewitching smile: THANK you Sc
much" and disappeared in the crowd.
Better look before you speak, old
fellow" he said to the other one.
They were both en- route to the law
yers' club for luncheon, and though it
cost him couple of bottles of wine to
keep the story quiet, it got out some
how, and one only has to say, in high
mock feminine voice: Kind sir, can
you tell me the way" to tease that ris-
ing young lawyer, who has mentally
vowed to scan very carefully every ont
who approaches him in future before
he takes it for granted il is beggar.-
| n. Y. Telegram.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Peel and CRATE pineapple enough to
make three cupfuls. Place over the fire
in a double boiler pint OF milk. Beat
light the yoiks of six eggs, and add to
them one cupful of sugar, a pinch of
salt and a gill of cold milk. When the
milk is at the boiling point, stir in the
pineapple and half a package of gel
atine which has been soaked in cold
milk for two hours, and lastly the egg
mixture. Cook for two minutes, stir
ring all the while; remove from the fire,
stand the boiler in a pan of cold water
and stir continually till cool. Turn into
mold that has been rinsed in cold wa
ter and place in the refrigerator for
three or four hours.-Good Housekeep.
ING.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
He WAS MISTAKEN.
The Little Mans Name Was Not Rambo,
Nor Did He Hail from Sandusky.


Nor Did He Hail from Sandusky.
All the passengers in the car noticed
that the big man on the left of the rear
door was looking fixedly at the small
man opposite, and by and by the small
man himself noticed the same thing.
After an embarrassing interval of three
minutes he observed:
We'll, what is it?"
Excuse me, sir, replied the big man;
'but your face seems familiar"
Yes "
Though 1 can't place it,"
"No?" =
us your name Rambo?"
mo, sir"
81 thought it was. Didn't you gsed
to live in Sanlusky, OF"
mo, sir; never was in Sandusky in
my life"
Wasn't there in 1890, eh?"
mo, sir"
That's queer. Just the minute got
sight of you was sure you was Rambo,
of SandUsky. If you are"
But I'm mott" interrupted the small
man. never nedFu Oh hdmDO ana was
never in Sandusky."
''Well, that settles it, l suppose" said
the big man, as he looked out of the
window and back again; ''but if you
hadn't said so | should have continued
to ghink you We're the man."
"And what of it?" retorted the small
man, flushing up over it.
"Oh, nothing much. He eloped with
my wife from Sandusky in 1890, and 1
heard they were living in Detroit. If
you were Rambo l was going to ask
how"
eff you'll get off the car I'll lick you
and Rambo and Bambo and Hoodoo
and all the rest of the gang put to-
gether!" shouted the small man, as he
got up and went out.
'No-oh, moi" replied the big man.
"No, there is no call to fight. If you
are not Rambo, l beg your pardon.
Your face had familiar look, and Just
thought I'd ask if"
But the small man hoped off the car
and went his way, and the big man
heaved a sigh and looked around and
said:
I'm sorry I offended him, but l
| thought it was Rambo, and was going to
ask if Maria mad had her teeth fixed and
her eyes Strengthened" Detroit Free
Press
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

chop was thus rescued, both it and the
table napkin were fairly well done
TO say nothing stronger. This trifing
difficulty he got over by putting the err
ing chop on the window sill to cool,
and the napkin into the fire-to do the
other thing.
This accomplished, and with one chop
gently cooking on the gridiron andthe
other ere cooling on the window sill
he star:fa to construct the paste for his
apple padding. This proved most fas-
cinating. He placed a large quantity
of -four in a small bowl. emptied jug
of water on top of it. added butter to
taste and proceeded to mold it deftly
into shape, as he had often seen his
wife do. The flour and water promptly
forsool1 the bowl and took themselves
to his hands. Then the milk for the
soup began to burn, just as the potatoes
boiled dry. He rushed to the rescue and
left the major portion of the paste fair
~ evenly divided between the handles
of the two saucepans and the stove
litter. At this juncture the tomatoes
started in to see if they couldn't sur
pass the milk in burning. They sue
ceeded. The cat, which was accustomed
to a $50 dinner, walked off with the
chop cn the window sill, while the chop
ON the fire grew beautifully black on
&h- down side So many things were
now burning all at the same time that
Dir. Meek gave up all hope of trying to
diSe3Yer which one was burning most
-'A,et the dashed things burn till they re
siaS Of it'll" was the extremely broad
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

"Papa, is Mrs. Bigelow very poor?" 1.
"No, Cedric, Mrs. Bigelow is well offJ
don't you know what nice house she,
has?'' e,
"But she sleep in the hen-coop, papa. :"
"Why, Cedric!"
"She said she did"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you remember when she was
here to dinner night before last she ex-,
cused herself, and said she must go,
home early because she went to bed,
with the chickens ?"-Harper's Young
People,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

First Tramp (in the suburbs)--SayI
Bill, I've got regular job, and it 'tain't
work, nuther. It's just like reg'laN
profesh, and I'm gittin' big fees. See
that tenner?
Second Tramp-Jimminy cricketsi
Wat does yer doP
81 sneaks around at night and throws
peoples lawn-mowers out of gear"
But who pays yer for that?"
"Next door neighbors wot wants ter
sleep."-N. Y. Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

"Prisoner, did you commit the bur
glary alone or with the help of others?'
inquired the judge.
with the kind help of the Eighty
third regiment band" said the pris-
pner.
what? Explain yourself"
"Well, you see, judge, the band made
halt, and all the people in the house
went to the front to listen, so that l
worked quite undisturbed in the back"
-Tit-Bits,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Mrs. Brown have been so annoyed
at my husband. He has been at the club
every night for a week.
Mrs. Jones-Why, so has my husband,
and he said he hadn't seen anything of
your husband for week.-Brookly
Life
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

"N[ike," said the superintendent,
rthere is a dead dog reported in the
blley between Illinois and Meridian
streets. I want you to look after It's dis
position"
An hour later the intelligent officer
telephoned:
81 have inquired about the dog, and
find that it had very savage DISPOSE
ton. "-Indianapolis Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Johnny, what are you saying to
that dog?" asked Harlem mother of
her little boy.
II was just talking TO him. just
told him: You have good time of it.
You don't have to wash your face, or
comb your hair, and you don't even have
to 90 to school, "-Texas Sitter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

'Did you receive a copy of my
poems?" asked a Dallas poet of Mrs.
Chaffie.
Eyes, indeed; I was delighted with
them. Where did put that beautiful
little book?"
You put it under the leg of the tablo
in the dining-room to keep it from
wabbling," interrupted Johnnie.-Tex-
as Sitter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

81 was reading of a man who had sus.
tanned a broken leg in a trolley acct.
dent" said Asbury Peppers, land
could but think how kind it was ON his
part"
"Kind?" said Mrs. Hammand.
Eyes. 1t is certainty that the broker
leg would not sustain him, is it not?"-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
Changing Styles.

The Weeping Daughter-Oh, I shall,
die! Papa says that Algy and 1 must
not think Of marrying for two years
yet.
Don't cry so, dear" said the JUDI
cious mother. Perhaps you will not.
want to marry him at the end of two
years. Who knows but that blonde
husbands will be out of style them
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Polite Doctor Cautiously - Your
husband is suffering from overwork or,
excessive indulgence in alcoholic slim
ulants-it is (ahem) a little difficult to
tell which.
Anxious Wife-Oh, it's overwork.
Why, he can't even go TO the theater
without rushing out half a dozen times
to see his business partners. - n. Y.
Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
Weary of the Plea.

whats that girl singing?" said Mr..
Topfloor to the bell boy.
40, Promise Me, replied the youth.
"Well, for goodness sakes, go down
and promise her whatever she wants
and charge it to my account. "-Up-to
Date.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
A Poor Shot.

Judge-Are you crazy? You testified
q moment ago that the defendant was
trying to kill him. and now you say the
killing was accidental.
Witness-Wal, that's right. When
he hits anybody it's er accident
Truth
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Julie-George said l looked lovely at
the masquerade party last night.
Jennie--Yes; / can understand how
mask would improve your looks
Yonkers Statesman.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
SIXTEEN TO ONE.-N. Y. Herald.


"fhese scales" said Dallas drug
gist, 'are adjusted so nicely that you
can tell on them the difference between
the weight of blonde hair and dark
hair"
(Which hair weighs the less?"
''The light hair weighs less, of
rse."-Texas Sitter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Bob-Your playing reminds me of my
experience when l came home from the
club last night.
Fred-In what respect?
Bob-It took me long time to strike
the right key.-Brooklyn Life.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
Willing to Please.

New Boarder gazing suspiciously ON
a leatEery piece of beefsteak) My
teeth are very poor, Mrs. Slimdiet, and
if you have anything little more ten
der than this
Mrs. Slimdiet-Certainly certainly.
Jane! This gentleman does not eat
steak. Always bring him liver.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Bear-Were you looking for me2
Dog-No, sir; l was looking for my
master. feel as if he was somewhere
around.
Bear (picking his teeth)-So do T..
But, my son, it will require an X-rays
for you to locate him!-Golden Days.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
A Modification.

Trivvet (eXcitedly)-He called me an
inspired IDIOT and I'm mad.
Dicer-You have a right to feel angry.
There is nothing inspired about you.--
Cp-to-Date.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

She-Don't you always pity girl
who is frightened in the dark?
He-Naturally, l cannot help feeling
for her.-BroOklyn Life.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

Mrs. Benham-I don't see how you
can look me in the face!
Benham-A man can get used to any
thing.-Trutb
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13

"Mornin', Miss SNOWFALL. Did you
heah dat Mrs. Andrew Jackson Jones
done got little baby dat only weighs
seben ounces?"
Miss Snowball-Fo' de lan's sakes.
Aim dat rather light TO cullud baby2
N. Y. World.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
You Can't Be Too Careful.

First Heiress-I can hardly believe
it! Are you sure that is the earl of Blu-
blud?
Second Heiress - Certainly. Why,
have you heard that there are any iml-
tations in the market?-N. Y. World.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-08-13
The New Woman Aroused.

Mr.. Whitewash-Dis am a world, Di-
nah, whar cherry hen has to scratch fo'
herself.
Mrs. Sambo-Mebbe, Sambo; but
hens doan't hab to scratch grub out OBJ
washtub TO their roosters!-N. Y.
World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-12-17
A SERIOUS QUESTION.
why the Farmer Is Opposed to Gold
Recommendation.

WHY the Farmer Is Opposed to Gold
Recommendation.
According to statistics of farms,
homes, mortgages, rents, ETC., gath
cred by the census officials, "a farmers
cut of every 100 are renters. Under
present renting conditions the average
renting farmer can scarcely make his
rent. As rents are regulated by inter
est rates, and as interest rates grow
sitter and the prices of farm products
20 lower, it is clear that 100000 or
100000 renting farmers in this coun-
try are confronting serious conditions.
Twenty years ago in some of the best
agricultural districts of the United
States, land rented for $1.50 cash per
acre, or one-third of the crop. Rent has
gradually increased, till to-day similar
lands rent at from So to IS per acre, or
Cne-half the crop. During the past
week the writer has talked with several
industrious, economical renting farm
ers, who work long hours and with
good judgment, and, while they have
excellent crops, on account of low
prices of farm products and high rents
they will be thankful if the crop pays
the rent. This is a serious state of af-
fairs, and, if such conditions continue,
it means lifetime struggle of millions
of people for bare subsistence. It
means a denial of all the comforts and
embellishments of life TO a large per
cent. of the population, who are much
1pore deserving of some of the good
things of life than many who. though
they toll not neither do they spin"
enjoy all the comforts and luxuries that
wealth can procure.
One of the best ways to remedy mat
tiers is to reduce interest rates. The
maximum rate of interest should not
exceed four or five per cent. Many
large capitalists who loan money at
wholesale, so to speak, are glad to loan
at four per cent, but money sharks re-
loan to the people at the very highest
rate allowed by law. and many times
evade the law and loan at much higher
rates. Very few men in any productive
enterprise can afford these days to bor-
row money at high rates of interest. In
majority of cases those who do be-
come servants to the money-lender. We
need legislation that will allow those
who produce the wealth and feed the
world to enjoy an equitable share of the
fruits of their labors.-St. Louis Jour
ual of Agriculture.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-12-17
soME sANEFuL EFFECTS.


BaEgsae Upon the Best Blood of the
Rural Districts.
II has been demonstrated that the
agricultural population of the United
States. hours of work considered, re-
ceive an income, according 10 numbers
engaged, that is less than that provided
for paupers or paid for convicts This
statement seems incredible at first
blush, but when we are reminded of
the fact that all the members of a farm
er's family work long hours, and that
they earn bare living under present
conditions. it becomes apparent that
the earning capacity of the average pro-
Queer is less than so cents day
And his lot is becoming more and
more onerous every year. So true is
this that the land which he formerly
owned is slipping away from him, just
as it slipped away from the peasant
proprietors in England, and the curse
of Iandlordism is already firmly fixed
among us.
It's blight is upon the best blood of
the rural districts.
In 1850 only 25.62 per cent. of the
farms in this country were cultivated
by tenants. Ten years later the num-
Der had risen TO 34.13 per cent, and
the end of the century will see more
than half the tillers of the soil non
owners. Every alternate producer will
be the creature of some one else's will.
But it is not only the rural homes
that falling prices and an approaching
dollar threatens. Those who joined
building and loan associations ten
years ago know something of the in
creased and increasing difficulty o!
making their weekly and monthly pay
meuts. Do they realize that while their
assessments are the same on the face
they have, as a matter of fact, increased
greatly in value? Why? Because of
the unstable money in which they pay,
the exchange value of which is much
greater than formerly. 4 very exhaus-
tive work on this subject-sThe Money
Question"-says: "a measure of gen.
eral prices the stability of which can
not be calculated upon in advance by
the citizens of state is relic of bar
harism-it is unfit for a people who
plan for years in advance their expenses
and their savings"
This is unquestionably true. An IN
stable money makes thrift improbable
and any effort to discount the necessi.
ties of rainy day uncertain, if not
useless. It is a good thing for the Shy
lock. but bad thing foreverybody else
Chicago Dispatch.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-12-17

A...rslons q COON. nsrassa y =,

Assertions Of Goldstes Rerzted BY chs
Facts-Eaffures Of One Week.
The Chicago Tribune and other g0lf-
lite papers OF its class have got so in the
habit of lying that to tell the trush
would be like . glass Of pure water TO
an cid topper. Sixteen lies TO one truth
is practically their ratio They told the
people over and over again that al that
allied the country was lack Of comb
dence; that capital was scared by
what they chose to call the silver craze
and as soon as that question was set
tied by the election of Mckinley tbs
wheels Of prosperity would begin Ia
turn. Sound Money Prosperity" vas
dinned into the ears and paraded be-
fore the eyes of everybody continuous
| ly for months before the election. BY
sound money they meant the perpetua-
ton of the present gold standard Doli-
CT. Prosperity was not going to wait
for Mckinley, but as soon as his cleo
| ton was assured. which they said
would restore confidence. it would be-
gin at once. Now, in the face of evil
dences to the contrary. these papers
continue to fool their readers by tell
| ing them that prosperity is restored.
They tell false tales manufactured in
their own Offices about mills starting
up and large numbers of men employed.
/ The facts are that railroads and manu-
| featuring establishments all over the
country are reducing the number of enl-
ployes and reducing wages.
On the condition of trade for Thanks
| giving week Bradstreet's said: Last
weeks disappointment at the lack of
/ demand in general lines continues. the
! intervention of holiday having made
/ trade quieter and the volume smaller.
| At some points of distribution there is
no change in the situation. Mild and
unreasonable weather prevents a more
active distribution of clothing and
heavy goods, and the volume moving is
smaller. Where business has been more
active it is due to filling in orders and
to the demand for holiday goods, Con-
| fidence in a revival of demand, which
has not yet appeared, was responsible
for the starting up of some mills and
factories, which are dissatisfied with
their prospects.
1.-THE large number of changes in
prices of staples were downward this
week"
Il. G. Dun &; Co.'S weekly review re-
/ Gently said: Failures for the week
have been 500 in the United States,
against 2z9 last year, and 3s in Can
ada, against AZ last year"
The promised prosperity has not ma
terialized. This reminds us of like
promises regarding the repeal of the
Sherman act. We were told as soon as
that act should be eliminated from the
statute books, business would at once
revive In ten days, John Sherman said,
old time activity would be restored.
They did not tell the truth then, nor
did they in their prediction promises.
Nor can we have enduring prosperity
under the gold standard, or on bor-
rowed capital. Cheap farm products
and prosperity are not handmaids.--
Farm, Field and Fireside.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-12-17

however. ne presently recalled how al-
tered in personal appearance h had be-
come since that day when last he had
seen Louis Vaudois, this fear cleared
away, leaving only black hate within his
soul. So, he decided, the giving of the
second piece of tobacco would satisfy
his once friend and enemy. He had
nothing to fear or to lose beyond that!
But he was reluctant to do this; it mad
dened him to think that Vaudois. un-
der even such conditions, was able 20
overreach and compel him to an act he
would of his own will leave undone.
And yet there was apparently no
other course before him than to accede
to the ruffian's demands. He had ar
rived at this conclusion, and with saw
age reluctance was preparing to sub
NIT to the inevitable when a thought
flashed through his mind and set his
pulses leaping with sudden hope of re-
taliation. Would Louis Vaudois be fool
enough to fall into the trap? That was
the only question!
Swiftly he made his preparations;
and then strobe firmly-yet with pulses
beating with an excitement stronger
than before-once again toward the
convict. As he advanced, Vudois' face
was turned towards him with feroci-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-12-17
LEE. MEANS BUSINESS,
And the Spanish Authorities at Havana
Will Hear From Him Ere Long.

And the Spanish Authorities at Havana
Will Hear From Him Ere Long.
NEW YORK, Dec. 11-Fitzhugh Lee,
consul general of the United States to
Havana. arrived here Wednesday en-
route to the Cuban capital. He will
sail for Havana on the Ward line
steamship Orizaba, Saturday.
Gen. Lee declined to discuss Cuban
affairs, but it may be said that his re-
turn to Havana at this time is more
than ordinarily significant and may
foreshadow a crisis. It is known that
the consul general urged the presi-
dent to interfere in Cuba, and that he
is incensed because his report to Secre-
tary Olney was toned down and mega
tived by that official. Gen. Lee returns
to Havana without his wife, and with
his mind fully made up to perform his
duty, regardless of the consequences.
He will demand an immediate trial for
the Competitor crew, in accordance
with the treaty between the United
States and Spain, and unless such trial
shall be granted he will call for war
ships. Gen. Lee means business this
time, and, if necessary, to force the
hand of this administration, he will
deal directly with the newspaper OF
this country.