Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-06-30

Z =d5S2&N MgNM
use YoUR LITTLE FORK o OYSTERS"
opera recently. She had simply an adj
mission ticket for which she had paid
two dollars. But seeing q vacant seat
she proceeded to occupy it. When the
man who had bought it came along, pre-
scented his check, and the usher polite
ly asked her to vacate, she bluntly re-
fused. The head usher was summoned,
and he asked the lady to To- I will
not she said, and 1 dare you to touch
me- a policeman was appealed to, and
he discreetly declined to interfere. The
result was hat the grand dame held
her ground and the young man who had
paid six dollars for his seat stood
through the performance"
That story is absolutely false. 1t is
possible that some tlashily-dressed
woman may have taken a seat at the
grand opera which did not belong TO
her, but it is not true that she was zone
of the most prominent society dameso of
Washington"
Stories of that character are written
by the yard with little or no foundation
beyond the vivid and diseased imagina-
ton of space rate writer's. To say that
n of the society leaders of Washing
ton was so ill-bred as to conduct herself
in that manner in the Grand opera
house is TO state as q fact something
which is actually impossible. If such
q woman should by any a~rtifice secure
admission into Washington society she
would soon lose caste by her ill-breed-
ing and could never become of the
"prominent society danes of Washing
tor"
OF course there are a great many ILL
bred people in this city as there are in
all cities, but they are not leaders in
society, nor can they ever be referred
to as prominent DANES" 1t is such
reckless journalism as this which con
veys to the people impress
sions concerning their national capital;
and the readers of country papers CLEAN
from such writings the idea that Wash
;ngton is a sink of sin and iniquity.
Once upon a time a lovely western
woman by an accident of political for
tune was dragged from her quiet little
three-course-dinner village and brought
into the snares of fashionable Washing
ton. She thus relates some of her eXpe-
riences.
81 ate my strawberries with q spoon
and left the little jabber lying along
side of my plate"
Horrible! What ~happened?"
"Oh, nothing; the people we're well
bred; but I discovered my mistake when
1 saw my husband hourishing the
fiendish instrument and regarding me
with q mournful smile.
Hot and cold chills played hide and
seek throughout my entire system, a
mist rose up between me and the COR
rect and elegant hostess, my new din
ner dress was q failure, my partner was
q block of ice, and the Strawberries
We're Dead sea fruit.
II got through my official calling very
WELL" she continued, "as I had only to
keep a correct list of addresses, put on
my best clothes, hire a carriage and
start out. OF curse the calls were O
bore, and at times embarrassing, but
when l concluded that the women who
received were as much bored as I was,
I felt as competent to discuss the
weather, to find fault with the cold,
or heat, or rain, whichever it happened
to be, as the wife of a cabinet officer.
Then I got through receptions very
we'll; we never went early, so I could
just look around and do as the other
women did. 1t was the first dinner par
ties, however, that pretty nearly ruined
me in my own estimation"
Did you never see anyone else make
mistakes?"
"Oh, yes, indeed; and now that I'm an
old-timer and give entertainments N.Y.
self, I often sit and feel sorry for some
other little rival soul who uses a large
knife when a butter-spreader is before
her, and eats her oysters with a dinner
fork, and is finally run into a corner by
having to eat peas with an oyster fork.
However, I am not quite SO solicitous of
the improvement of my guests as to
initiate one of our American money
queens. who was dining one Of our
American war heroes.
1.-The general, who was none other
than William L. Sherman, it is said, in
the distraction of a red-lipped bright
eyed, kissable partner, forgot himself,
and mechanically jabhed a dinner fork
into a large juicy oyster. The hostess
saw the blunder, and. full of hospitabIe
intent, but not grounded in the tenets
OF society, electrified the company by
the high-pitched exclamation: oh,
general, use your little fork for oysters.'
1t is needless to say that the general
took the hint, while he was now far
roster than the pretty girl he had been
so CALAMITY entertaining"
When that little country girl first
came to Washington with her husband
and ate strawberries with a spooni in
stead of Il little silver jabber, she could
not have been u grand dame of society.
Having been well bred in a country vii
lage she could not of course have acted
with such improperly as the uni
mentioned by the space rate CORE