davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
ATcHlsoN oLoBULES.

No man Is better than his opportuni.
ties.
A good dog is worth moro than you
can get for it.
There is a STORY" on every man thai
ever lived.
We should like to see the man who
can stand up against his kin.
When q man has prosperity, how the
people like to see him lose it!
Men, as rule, do not like to lie, but
their wives ask too many questions
" a man talks too much, 1T may
be 81. (. that he has runaway tongue.
The man who looks at clock fve
minutes. to see what time it is, is lazy.
You bet if a young husband fails W
kiss his wife when he comes home, the
girls notice it,
We have often wondered that the
Salvation army does not finally recruit
woman who can sing.
II we kept a hotel, we would not buy
a piano for the parlor. Every guest
who cannot play, tries it.
When a man is not sick enough to be
in bed, but still too sick to be comfort
able, Americans call it "grunting.
Women like to receive love letters,
because they may be able to produce
them some time, and make trouble.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
EoLLN SHORT $4,000.

That is the Report of tie Expert On
OmaiIa's Treasury.
OMAHA, January s.-The report of
the expert submitted to the city council
shows that the entire dcfalcation of
cx-City Treasurer Henry Bolln amounts
to more than $4,000. An impression
has been circulated that the additional
shortage of SIT ZOO, which was only
made public the other day, represents
simply an error in bookkeeping. The
report shows that this amountnn must be
added to the. $35, 900 shortage previously
discovered.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10


Many people are kept guessing chat
the next fool thing done by society folk
With apparent intellect will be.
Banker Higginson's wife in Boston
clipped with a man twenty years
younger than herself, leaving four chill
dren and luxurious millions. Then
Charles w Deering, grandson of the
man who makes the Deering self-binder
and other instruments, abandoned a
home of wealth and culture and ease to
enter the regular army and curry
horses at Fort Riley. BY what process
OF reasoning either OF these persons.
could have persuaded themselves to do
such inexcusable and irretrievably idi-
otto things no human intelligence can
ascertain.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
MONTANA FOR ALLISON.
Cheering News Brought by Judge William
HINT Who Knows,

HARTFORD, Conn, January Judge
William Hunt, of the supreme court of
Montana, is visiting in this city, He
says that Montana is for Allison for
president and Mckinley for vice
president. He says that if Don
Cameron was in the field, Montana
would be for him first, last and all the
time, on account of his attitude on the
silver question,
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

That is a singular telegram which q
college football player makes public
f5howing that not only the students but
the faculty Of a state university in tie
northwest joined in Offering a good ani
valuable consideration to him if be
would pretend to be a student in the
college and play on the team. Can il
really be true that reform Of the foc--
ball mania in colleges must begin with
reform Of the faculties?
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

..eeause of the long drought many u
the little lakes of Michigan have al
most dried up, and lately the farmers
have been making money by driving
wagons into the shallow waters and lit
orally shoveling the fish out of the lake
into the carts and selling them in
neighboring towns
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
INSANE HOSPITAL BURNED.
JcfTcrsoa County Poor a I'm and Insane
Asylum Destroyed.

Fairfield, January 9.-The Jeffer-
son county poor house and insane re-
treat near Libcrtyville burned. There
were twenty-five poor and fifteen in
curably insane inmates All were saved
by the care of the steward, John Will
hanson, and his wife, Susan William
son. The buildings were old and the
loss is about $4,000. Insurance, S4, O0O.
The inmates were brought to the city
and arc being cared for by the county
authorities. 1t is said that the fire was
caused by the pipe of on aged inmate
named THOMPSON
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

England is showing a disposition 20.
use her power and embarrass this coEn-
try financially. She has that privilege,
but our people can manage to scrape
along with thin pocketbooks if hers
can contrive in some way to live with
out anything special to eat.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE

ATLANTIC. January 5.-Thomas Tate,
farmer of Massena township, Cass
county, has mysteriously disappeared.
He was in Atlantic about ten days ago,
borrowed 5000, paid up his small debts
and departed with the balance of the
money. since which time he has not
been heard Of. His wife IS anxious
about him and has telegraph,.d to find
out where he is. Rumors have been
adoat Of his being heard of in Okla
homa or Indian territory, but nobody
able 70 say where he is
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
New London. connectIcnt.

New London, CT, is going to observe
it's two hundred and fiftieth anniver-
sary next May and already steps are
being taken with that end in view by
the mayor and common council, tho
board of trade, the civic and military
organizations of the city.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
TWENTY MEN NEAR DEATH.
Excavation at WIntcrset Carcd In Wreck
ing Two Buildings.


WSrERsEr, January 9.-The large
two story building occupied by the c.
D. Bevington Ifardware company coli
lapsed, carrying with it the building adj
joining. and which was occupied by
the Smith Hrug Company. Both build
ings with their stocks are complete
wrecks The stock of hardware in the
Beyington building had been removed
to the second story to permit OF the
first floor being taken out while work
men were digging an immense cellar
beneath the house. Nineteen work
men barely escaped with their lives.
NJ. T.. Smith. T. +. Mardis and John
Couch were hurt by flying debris.
Couch injuries are serious. Property
loss is about $1,000
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
TRAMPs' TREAcHERY.

DUN Up, January 5.-Several tramps
in Dunlap and camped out near
the round house. In the morning one
of them was found lying by the
smouldering cmbers, drunk, entirely
stripped of everything except his
underwear, and with his feet and
hands quite badly frozen. He had
rolled over on the Goals and burned his
breast very badly. He was taken
charge of by the authorities Hcstates
chat his companions got him drunk and
stripped him of his clothing.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

LONDON. January a dispatch from
Cape Town says 1t is reported at Pre-
toria that the Transvaal government
demands the Punishment of Cecil
Rhodes, cS-premier of Cape Colony, and
Dir. jameson from Africa, and that an
enormous fire is demanded from the
British Chartered Company. 1t is SAID
Emperor William will support a de-
mand Of the Transvaai republic for
81, 500, 900 indemnity from England for
the "a il
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
TO lNDIcT ALDERMEN,
Judge Hustled, OF Dubuque. SO Instructs
the Grand Jury.

the Grand Jury.
DUBUQUE, January !. Judge Hustled,
of the district court, sprunga sensation
in his charge to the grand jury. The
Dubuque city council recently raised
the salaries of the members thereof
from 500 to $500, to take immediate
effect, contrary to the statues of Iowa.
The latter provides that such Increase
may be made for future aldermen, but
not for the council making the increase.
The present members voted an increase
of their own salaries, and mes OF
them, it is said, have drawn it. The
judge instructed the grand jury to
indict these aldermen: also the mayor,
if it is ascertained he has exceeded the
limit
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Susie,-And SO you are an old maid,
auntie--a real old maid?
Aunt Ethel Susie, dear-I'm u
real old maid.
Susie wishing to be nice and comfort
ing)--Well, never mind, poor dear
auntie. ] am sure it isn't your fault.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
TWO IOWA SUICIDES.
Twenty Grains of Morphine Do N
Touch an Ottumwa Man.

louCH su ottuiiiNN 1htsi'
OTTUMw-s. January 6.The fact that
a man can take twenty-five grains OF
morphine at a single dose and live has
] c demonstrated. William Weir, the
man who, as it was thought, attempted
suicide, is recovering and declares he
did not take the drug with suicidal
intent, but thought it was seidlitz
powder.
WILLIAMSBURG, January George
Herber, about 40 years old, well
dressed. came here from Amana. He
complained of slccplcssness, ate break
fast and soon after was discovered in
his room dead with his throat cut and
a razor in his hand. No cause is
assigned.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
THE CUBAN CRISIS.

HAVANA, January Tkcinsnrgents
are burning and destroying up to
within eight miles of this city. The
district around the village of Calabazar
has suffered. Calabazar is only two
miles from Vento, where the apparatus
is located upon which Havana depends
for its water supply. In the Calabazar
and Iioyo Colorado districts the cane
has been burned in the fields of Maulin,
and
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Here is a man with g conscience, and
no mistake. Mr.. G. Green, of Mcclure
Kan, while intoxicated, sworc out a
warrant against himself, was ar
raigned, pleaded guilty. paid his fine,
and went home very happy.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

One of the first results of war talk
Is to develop the sensitiveness of CAPT.
tai It will scurry to cover il any one
happens to mention that Mars is liable
to be in the ascendant.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
She Nearly tainted.

lady teacher in one of the public
schools, in trying to explain the meaning o.
the word slowly illustrated it by walking
across the floor. When she asked the class
to tell how she walked she nearly tainted
when q boy at the foot of the class shouted:
ssBow-legged ma am u
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Dies MONIES, January 9.-It is prac-
ideally decided that Hon II. w. Byers,
Of Shelby county, will be speaker of
the house, all OF the opposing candi-
5ates having withdrawn from the race.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

1t seems likely now that, after all the
Armenians have been killed, the pow,
ers viii see to it that there is an ami
cable adjustment of the little misun-
Outstanding.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
State Of Ohio. city Of Toledo. Lucas

Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he
is the senior partner OF the firm Of F.
J. Cheney & Co., doing business in the
City of Toledo, County and State afore-
said, and that said firm will pay the
sum of One Hundred Dollars for each
and every case of Catarrh that cannot
be cured by the use of Halls Catarrh
Cure. FRANK j.. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed In
my presence this 9th day of December,
A. D. 1856. A. w. GLEASON,
(Seal) Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internal
ly and acts directly on the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. send
Tor testimonials, free.
- j. CHENEY te CO.. Toledo, Q.
Sid by druggists; Use.
Halls Family Pills, 25c.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS coFFEEs

Had the Ladies Aid Society of on,
Church out for tea; forty of them, and
all pronounced the German Cotfeeberry
equal to Rio. Salzer's catalogue tells
You all about it! 80 packages Earliest
vegetable seeds SLIGO post paid.
II you will cut this out and send
with 15c. stamps to John A. salzer
Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis, you will get
free package Of above great coffee
seed and our 11S-page catalogue!
Catalogue alone Sc. w. n.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

1t is not difficult to count the men
who are really candidates, but when it
comes to trying to count those who
think they are candidates the task
assumes serious proportions.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Revenue officers captured an illicit still
in Tennessee recently. 1t was operated
near church, and deacon of the church
was one of the moonshiners.
Nine Sarah Bernhardt's last gown cost
$500 1t lis decorated with diamonds and
turqnoises and the skins of 200 ermines
were required to line the train.
'.De man dat ain'1 got muffin ter do"
said Uncle Eben, s'ceppin ter Kill time,
gin'raily needs mo- help dan de boss OBJ o
factrYN
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Chicago is to have a bicycle police
squad, and there is likely TO be a re-
duction in the ayoirdupois of some OF
the members of the force.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Begin OF the bottom and work up,
my boy said the old gentleman.
That's the way to succeed in life. y"
Yes, replied the young man,
thoughtfully, but it doesn't work in
the immediate instance"
why not?''
I'm inventing new style OF
toboggan.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

The announcement that the New
York Grant monument will not be COM
pleted next April appears to bring out
no expressions of surprise.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

An alliance between the American
eagle and the Russian bear would be
sure to put the growl on the British
lion.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

No one will object to Col. Harvey's
efforts to eliminate selfishness from
politics il there is occasion for going
into secret session to do the work.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

The women who have been Directing
because they were excluded from the
Chicago Open Board OF Trade don't
know when they are in luck.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

With the removal of John l.. Sullivan
to Chicago will vanish Boston's last
claim to be considered cultures head
quarters.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
Appointed Ivy Drake.

DEs MONIES, January 7.-Governor-
elect Drake has appointed Gen. II. II.
Wright, of Centcrvillc, to be adjutant
general, and Capt. w. Ii. Fleming, of
DcS Moines to be nriyate secretary
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Another advertisement for Col Inger-
soil: The law class of the Missouri uni
versity has decided not to invite him
to lecture.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Mcdonald county, Mo-. has an orch
ard of 5000 acres. the largest in the
United States, and perhaps the largest
in the world
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Mr.. Julian speaks of Mr.. Fitzsim-
mons as an "ungrateful bum" Thus
the p@gilistic melee goes nerrily on.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

He-When you are asked TO sing and
don't wish to- yoli always have such a
Convenient cold. Where do you get
them?
she-oh, they'te kept ''pn draught'
all over town.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

1t costs New Workers So a head to
hear Yvette Guilbert. and they appear
perfectly satisfied
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Grabowski Is the name of Russia's
lnost successful turfman. He made $780,
00J this year.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
His Reason.

TIM Why do you say that your cook is
like your bicycle?
Brink i have to give her blowing up
about once a week or she's no good.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Ieadville, Col, is building an ice pal
ace whose walls Will require 100000
pounds Of ice.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

An English librarian recently died of
tuberculosis, contracted from books
read by consumptive patients.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

Fitzsimmons and Julian have decid-
ed to call it draw and quit. This sill
mean a great saving OF printers ink.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

A highway ro5ber is said to have re-
stored TO his victim enough money to
pay street car fare. He had 10 dispo-
sition 70 take what was due the COM
pany > fellow feeling. yop know.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
Mifely Confidence.

Il feel really sorry for my husband
during the holidays remarked the
very complacent woman.
Indeed.
Eyes. He is so correct in his habits
that when New Years comes he can t
swear off -
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

A florist is paid $1,000 month to
Keep the vault decorated in which lies
The body Of the late ]. W. Maclay, Jrs
ton of the bonanza king. A hundred
families might be maintained on this
sum that is worse than thrown away.
Such an ostentatious display of grief
ceases to be foolish. 1t is selfish and
cruel.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10
IOWA
DIES MONIES,

Anglomania is not so popular q mall
ady as it was two months ago.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1896-01-10

une Of the most competent historical
critics il the United States describes
Won Holst's Constitutional History"
as chiefly useful to counterfeit cxtraya-
giant and unreasoning patriotism. Per-
haps it is for this the University of
Chicago keeps him.
The president should be careful how
he restricts Gen. Miles from talking
about our coast defenses lest that gem
tleman. through sheer paucity of sub
iect matter, be driven to lengthy de-
malls that he is candidate for presi
dent.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1896-12-18
IRRIGATION CONGRESS
Election of Omcers is Pretty Generally q
Reelection.

Phoenix, Ariz Dec 1.-THE irriga-
congress elected the following named 10
be officers for the ensuing year:
Chairman of executive committee, T..
r. Moses Great Bend. Kan, reelected,
as were also Vice Chairman Brigham
Young, Utah, and f. G.. Hudson, Hi
nois. treasurer, E. L. Brainerd. Con-
necticut; national lecturers, j. Emery.
Kansas, and l. A. Fort, Nebraska.
Lincoln, Neb, was flxed upon by unan-
imous vote as the site for the next con-
gress. Ell Paso being presented and with
drawn.
The national committee chosen en-
braces: Arizona, James McClintock; Cal
ifornia, ]. D. Schuyler; Colorado, A l..
kellogg; Connecticut, j. 3. Abbott;
Idaho, F. J. Mills; Illinois, DR.. Clark
Dolphin: Indiana, Hon. Benjamin Har-
rison; Iowa. Professor j. L. Budd; Kan
sas, ]. H Churchill; Maryland, G. w.
Garrett; Montana, J. f. Morse. Missouri.
H c. Weber: Michigan, Fred B. Spread
Minnesota, T. n. Frost; Nebraska, A.
C. wolfenberger; New Mexico, c. H.
Franch; New York. Dix W. Smith: Ne
vada. L. II. Kyler; North Dakota. w W.
Barrett; Oklahoma Professor Henry f.
Glassier: Ohio, B. F. Shuart: Pennsyl-
vania, George W. Alperton; Rhode Is
land, A. G. Utley; Texas, W. 5. Marshall:
Utah. L. W. Shurtliff; Washington. l..
S. Hewlett; Wisconsin. j. E Godding;
District Of Colubia, Judge Emery B..
Best.
This evening the California and Con-
necticut delegations received members OF
the congress at the Adams hotel.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1896-12-18
SOLDIERS HOME INVESTIGATION
Inspector General Breckenridge Recon-
mends Change,

Washington, Dec. 17.-1nspector Cen
eral Breckinridge was today examined
by the special committee investigating
the Leavenworth Soldiers Home. OBJ
jectionable features at this home, he
said, were the sweat-box cells. The cells
were underground, were small and hot
water pipes in close proximity to them
made them unfit for human occupancy.
The Kelley cure occupied prominent
place at the home, but when he COM
menced an investigation of II, the SUPER
irtendent of the home told him that the
subject did not come under his supervis-
ion. As General Breckinridge's duty was
to see only that public moneys were
properly disbursed, he did not pursue the
investigation. When mention Of the
Kelley cure was made in his report, he
was again criticised by the superintend-
ent for touching upon it At the west
ern branch, he said, there was notice
able lack of harmony among the off,
GERS. The management of the home
should be changed, doing away with the
board of managers, retaining the presi-
dent of the board and putting a med
ical officer in charge, who should report
to a government bureau.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1896-12-18

fast was served at the home Of the bride
on Hereford street.
Mr.. and Mrs Haig left for Dover at
4:30 this afternoon and'will be in Paris
tomorrow. They will soon afterwards
leave for Nice.
MIR. Haig was interviewed at the house
by a representative Of the Associated
Press and was asked to explain why, on
Dec. 8. he informed the Associated Press
that there was no truth in the statement
that he was engaged to Mrs Drayton.
He said: when l saw the Associated
Press representative a fortnight ago and
informed him that the wedding was off,
il was perfectly true. But it was not a
matter OF settlement. ] am not rich
man and am not a. poor man. My wife
and / understand each other perfectly.
Our engagement came to a head only
last week and 1 then wired my wife 3
lawyer in New York and she wired TO her
mother, who cabled her congratulations
Immediately. / understand she fully ap-
proves Of our union. My wife wanted a
quiet wedding, so only few friends were
invited"
Seattle. Wash. Dec. 17-Dennis Ryan
the St Paul millionaire, was quietly mar
ried here today to Miss Mary Campbell,
also Of St Paul. The ceremony took
place at o'clock yesterday morning,
ard Mr. and Mrs. Ryan left on the east
hound Northern Pacific train immedi-
ateiy afterwards
Santa Monica, Cal, Dec. 17.-Schuyler
Cole, son of ex-United States Senator
Cole of Colgrove, and Miss Bessie Cor
ham, niece of Senator John P. Jones oil
Nevada, were quietly married last night
at Miramara, Senator Jones residence
Only immediate relatives and friends
Or cd
The Wichita daily eagle., 1896-12-18
OFFICIAL ELECTORAL RETURNS
Reported From South Dakota, West VIr
glnia aud Other States.

Pierre, SD, ,Dec17-The official count
was completed today, as follows: Con-
gressmen-Republica Gamble 40,943
Crawford 40.575; Populist, Kelly HIPS,
Knowles Al ,23S; Prohibition, Alexander
6S3. Lewis 722. Highest vote on electors
Bryan H,225. Mckinley 4l,o42, Lever
ing 664.
Wheeling. W. Va, Dec. 1.-THE secre-
tary of state today finished the tabula-
ton of the official returns on president
ial electors and made the following final
official announcement: Mckinley 105.-
36S; Bryan 94,4S0; Palmer CTS; Levering
1,M6. McKinley's plurality 10,SSS; Nc
Kinley's majority S,997.
Helena, Mont, Dec. 1.-THE canvass
ing board declared the result of the cleo
ton today. The vote was: Bryan A..
537; Mckinley 0,494: Levering 1S6. For
congress, Charles S. Hartman. Silver
Republican, 33, 932; o. F. Goddard, Nc
Kinley Republican, 1892.
Richmond, Va, Dec. 1.-THE court OF
appeals today issued an order command
ing the state board of election canvass
ers to award to J. Yost. Republican can
didate, the certificate OF election to con-
gress in the Tenth congressional district,
though some Of his ballots read Jacob
Yost, and to count for C. NJ Wallace. Jr.,
Democratic presidential elector. votes re-
turned to the credit of G. NJ. Wallace.