The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-03-01
THE THERMOMETER MAN
THE INJURF WROUGHr IN THE
BOhRDIyG HOUSE.
Tho PecuIiaritics of Mrs. Bagdad, the
Landlady and Remarkable Guest.
Nat Prune's Observations.

Mrs. Gustavus Bagdad, grandniece by
marriage Of the caliph. kept a medium
sized boarding-house I'm khorassunk. The
Bagdads were all lively people, and held
all such things as drges. freiGht-tralns,
and messenger-boys in the greatest con
tempt. though they did say that there
was once a Bagdad who could not make
more than eight miles an hour when he
was hungry. OF course, Mrs. Bagdad was
only a member Of the race by adoption.
but the Bagdad who had drawn her into
its fold was one OF the sWiftest Of them
all He WAS dead-that fact would have
come 10 light sooner or later probably
later as he was the late Mr.. Baedad.
Mrs. Bagdad was a member or the IA
nous Alrachd family who considered
themselves no small beer In the way OF
dispensers Of sarcasm. This portion OF
her reputation kept the poor hOarders in
constant dread. lest they should tread
upon her satrical grass. and be suddenly
mown down without mercy she treated
ali with a high-class disdain. even when
the said all were as respectful as POSI-
bile. but woe unto the bOardcr who at
tempted 20 get funny. he was forced 20
feel himself srnall-yea. even unto the
smailness of the mustard seed and the
ward politician.
We. the old veterans at this notorious
Notwithstanding resort. used 10 take
great pleasure in gathering around the
fire OF a winters evening, and discuss
ing the various victims. who had sadly
departed. as II seeking some secluded
spo. where they might lie quietly down,
with nothing 10 disturb them save the
huttcring OF the banner bearing the
strange device. "ReQuiescat- d. pace
For twenty years had the Nbman-noscd
matrOn sat behind the coflee-urn. and as
yet, no man had ever had the pleasure
yici." ITO " '''
OF course. we all remembsr the d.min-
utive individual who came into the din
iug-rOOm ono morning. settled himself,
with great ceremony. ana remarked thar
be thought that n would probably ran
because The coffee was cloudy. 1ne
worthy Mrs Bagdad did not faint-oh,
no. she simply tilted her head eight de-
grees hy the quadrant ana told the gen
tleman 10 throw his back also. O. f. was
only the reflection OF his brain In the
coffee. 10 was reported by his vis-a-Vs
at the time that the young man swallow
ed his napkin hurriedly, and washed 10
down with "a salt-ccllar; but this IS not
authenticated. Mrs. Bagdad was not un-
charitable enough % snicker-no, she
smoothly asked the diminuuve specimen
10 have n glass of milk. our punster-
bOardcr explained II by saying that the
hostess asked him that because ne prob
ably wished himself IN the milky-way
about that time, but even this Is not
authenticated.
THE ANTIQUATED AUNT.
Then, again. the OLD women would an
peat anu inc ifhf ON flfNlNANH NNNlA
keep things very lively while they were
there. telling us about their neiehbor's
daily life, just sixty years ago. on one
occasion. Mrs bagQad's autiuuatcd aunt
came rather suddenly. and appeared at
the table one morning in gorgeous
plumcs. We did not know that she was
relative of our hOuOrcd lady. 50 when
the jolly old dame took her seat IN the
jokors' row. there was nOdding ana grin
ing and waving of plumes The young
man who firfed WAS sitting OnuOgifn and
as ho slowly sweetened his coffee, he re-
quested the old lady 10 stop wlnking at
him.
you are entirely mistaken. Mr. Need
orsaif" said Mrs. Bagdad. calmly. my
aunts eyes had grown weak from gazing
into space
old NJ y, down at the family-end OF
the table. called for the dOXOi0ev. but the
( Royal Scioncss OF the family OF Airaschid
! said.
NO. the services are not yet over"
Those Of us who We're old I'm the ser
vice, and possessed honorable scars, knew