The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-29
HUMORs OF THE CONVENTION.
A Few Curious Things, Funny
Things and witty Things.


From the Philadelphia Record.
ST. Louis. No, July est was durins
the first uproar Of the day The air
was gathered at the rostrum. The air
was fun Of waving standards. pictures,
banners and flags. The people on the plat
form were dancing and shrieklng with
joy. and most enthusiastic of all Of them
was John Mcdowell Of Union City. Tenn.
the sergeant-at-arms OF the convention,
and candidate for congress on the pop
ulist ticket in his district.
Mr. Mcdowell has been a very much
overworked man during this convention,
and in addition to being overworked he
has, on two or three occasions. been
within an ace OF figuring as the star fea-
ture Of a lynchlng party. But ne had
gathered all OF his energy together to
help along this demonstration and make
it the greatest that any national con-
yention had seen.
When Mr.. Mcdowell gets excited he
spreads his legs apart throws his hands
and arms wildly about his head. shakes
his whiskers and leaps about with the
energy and the spryness Of a billy goat
after lunch on tomato cans.
Mr.. Mcdowell was doing all this and
his voice. Every once in a while he would
rap the man in front of him on the back,
he was so enthusiastic. As the demon
stratiOn got hotter the excitement of Nc
Dowell became more intense He grew
red in the face, his eyes grew bright and
threatened to pop out OF his head, and he
leaped eighteen inches at the climax OF
the uprOar.
half the people were looking at him
II was moment of supreme triumph for
the Tennessee populist. when suddenly
without note of warning, all of his
suspender buttons gave way and in an
instant his trousers began slipping down.
They escaped the fierce clutch Of the
unfortunate man. Have you ever faced
death; have you ever seen people when
an earthquake was shaking the liver
out OF them2 Have you ever seen a poor
wretch on the scaffold with the know
ledge that his last minute had come?
Well, IL you make a composite picture
OF humanity undergoing all these com
bined, you have got a fair picture Of
Deacon Mcdowell as this awful catas-
trophe overlook him.
As stated, the deacon was on a chair
he clutched, but he clutched too late. He
diyed and grabbed, once, twice, thrice
but down those trousers slipped. Mary
Ellen Lease was only three feet away
Miss Mitchell Of Kansas was less than
two feet away. Helen Cougar was al
most on the spot.
Mistress Julia Ward Pennington was
just two seats of, and all around and
about there were gathered the beautiful
and the eloquent women Of the conven-
tion and every eye was upon the IN
fortunate Deacon Mcdowell Then he
grabbed and then again, again and again,
but the trousers eluded him Down
down he Owed. At last victory perched
on him. He got the trousers and with
a yank that threatened to rip them from
stem to stern he pulled them up. At
no time had the applause ceased. nor
had there been any sign of a let-up in
the demonstration. Now ii was in
creased two-fold, and the women Joined
Mcdowell, clutching the truant trousers
closely about him, attempted to resume
his part of the demonstration but ii was
useless, and after frantic efforts to show
enthusiasm he retired to hunt up ten
penny nails.
This was one of the interesting fea-
lures of Saturdays session of the con-
vention. When it was over an indig-
nant populist introduced this resolution:
Resolved, That future sergeants-at-
arms shan be required to wear tights"
For some reason the chairman refused
TO put the resolution, so that it is posi-
BILE this catastrophe may happen again.