davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
Hoods Pills are easy to take, easy t
operate. Cure indig sstiou, headache.

Don't bolt your food; 1t irritates your
stomach. Choose digestible food and
chew 1t. Indigestion is a dangerous sick
ness. Proper care prevents 1T. Shaker
Digestive Cordial cures it. That is the
long and hort of Indigestion. Now, the
question is: "Have you got indigestionP
Yes, If You have pain or discomfort after
eating, headache, nausea, offensive breath,
heartburn, langour, weakness, fever, jaun-
dice, fi~atuation, loss of sleep, irritabiIity,
constipation, etc. Yes, you have indiges-
tion, 70 cure IL, take Shaker Digestive
Cordial. The medicinal heFks and plants
OF which Shaker Digestive Cordial is COM
posed help to strengthen your stomach.
When youT stomach is strong, care will
keep it 80. Shaker Digestive CORDIAL is
for sale by druggistsi price 10 cents to n
per bottle.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
Black Crook.

Monday night, November 3Oth, the
first time in Lexington will be seen
Eugene Tompkins' famous Black Crook,
in all its original splendor, gorgeous
scenerg, wonderful electrical effects,
tifty-eight beautiful girls, aHd every
thing just as it was SO successfully pre-
sented in New York 400 nights. Seats
on sale at Farmers drug store,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
Both In the same Plight,

: Some years ago l was in camp with a
friend of mine in Canada. Toward
morning I awoke ~shivering with cold.
The fire was very low. My companion
was sound asleep. 1t isn't nice to get
out of n warm blanket to haul frosty
logs to the fire, SO 1 gave Wyndham O
kick, and then pretended to be asleep.
There vas no response, and by and by
l tried another kick. Then the old
scoundrel burst out laughing. ~ did
the same thing to you is minutes ago."
he said; that's how you came to wake
up"
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Mr.. Pullman, who notified his en-
ployes on Saturday before the election
that they need not report on Wednes-
day if Mckinley was not elected, has
reduced Inc wages of his men fifteen
per cent. MIR. Pullman had to cut
wages. He furnished the s'laboring
mans friends with the palace a r
they used in the campaign. OF course
he lad to get even.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
That National Park.

From the Kansas City World.
The Lexington ISTELLIGENcER has
started a boom for a national park at
Lexington, and calls upon Vest, Cock
rell and Cowherd to do their dnty.
The INTKLLIeENCER proposes that Lex
ington shall donate the ground upon
which the battle of Lexington was
fought and the government shall erect
q monument and attend to the other
details.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
Good
::s :s; s?:'s 7; r.; e : Blood

system Is reached by the blood, and on
its qualitythe condition of every organ de-
ponds. Good blood means strong nerves,
good digestion, robust health. Impure
blood means scrofula, dyspepsia, rheuma-
tism, catarrh or other diseases. The surest
way to have good blood is to take Hoods
Sarsaparilla. This medicine purifes, vi
~talizes, and enriches the blood, and sends
the elements of health and strength to
every nerve, organ and tissue. It creates
a good appetite, gives refreshing sleep
and cures that tired feeling. Remember,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
TINE TABLE.

Commencing Sunday, Nov. 18th, 1896,
trains will pass Lexington Junction on
the Wabash as folloWsS
West bound-No. s, Kansas City and pes
Moines express, 5:10 a. M; No. 2, Denver
limited. $40 q. M; No. 3, fast line, 4:60 p
M; No. II, local freight, 4:35 p. m.
East bound-No. 2, New York limited.
Hos a. M; No. 6, Chicago and Toledo fast
mail, 7:45 p. m. No. 4, st. Louis and Des
Moines express, 10:41 p. nj No. 20, local
freight, $40 q. m.
P. w. CARTER, Agent.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

"EXcuse me-" observed the man in
spectacles, "but 1 am a surgeon, and that
is not where the liver is" "Never you
mind where his liver is" retorted the
other. "If It was in his big toe or his Left
ear DeWitt's Little Early Risers would
reach II and shake it for him. On that
you can bet your gig-lamps." Crist 4
Day, 1-25-ly
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
Sure TO Win.

The people recognize and appreciate
real merit. That is why Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla has the largest sales in the world,
Merit in medicine means the " or to
cure. Hoods S~arsaparilla c~ures-abso.
lutely cures. 1t is the One True Blood
Purifier. Its superior merit is an estab-
lished fact, and merit wins.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Cleveland is said to be working on
his message. He need not idle away
much time on it. NOBODY cares what
he says, and no particular attention
will be paid to it, further than that
which is inspired by curiosity.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

After the fourth of March mex the
republicans coincidence man" will be
in the White House, armed with plenty
of power to fairly test his confidence
gam.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Major Mckinley will probably not
re-appoint 10 o. Shelby United States
marshal for this district. Mckinley is
as wise as General $40" is, and he
knows what kind of men to trust.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

On March the 4th, 1897, G. Cieve-
land, unwept and unsung, hated,
despIsed and repudlated, will step out
of power into a world where his virtues
shine like a light under a bushel meas
a,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
Right Ahont Thai Rnok-

From the Kansas City World.
The Lexington INTELLIGENCER is
not IN favor of Mr.. Bryan writing a
book. And Editor Groves, as a friend
Of Mr.. Bryan, Is about right,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Nevada Daily Mail: Maj. Chas. H.
Van liver, formerly of this city, made q
spleadid race for the state senate. He
carried his " county, Lafayette, by
1,0z5 majority; Johnson by s14 and
Cas- by 1856. His total majority in
the district is 1868. 1t is a neat COM
pliment to a deserving man, and his
constituents may rest assured that he
will make a faithful and efficient
representative.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

David r. Francis is wearing a pair
of shoes Hoke Smith threw away, but
then you know David Is in the social
swim at Washington.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
Go the nooltoap Uraoe

L take this means OF announcing to the trade that [ have lust
opened my Holiday Stock. [ am happy to announce that my assert
ment of Christmas Goods is the largest, the most attractive and novel
that L have ever offered to the trade, and [ but voice the opinion of
all those who have examined it when I say that it is the Largest and
Finest ever opened in Lafayette county. The stock embraces
a splendid selection of works of Art. Books. TOYS and oaooraI boEdou
souvenirs.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Just where or when the butt end Of
thai prosperity circus will strike town
has not been ascertained, but it is sup
posed that it will come by the s'water
route
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

It's not a matter of much interest
what will become of Cleveland's csbi-
net. None of them have any particu-
lar hold upon the public confidence.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

George Graham Vest will be re-
elected without opposition. Tho is
Just as it ssorter be-"
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

The .'Tigers" of the state university
and the .'Jayhawkers" from Kansas
UnEersifV met on the gridiron at
ly Thursday. The "Trgers"
saLed by a score of 80 to O.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Lon V. Stephens goes INTO office by
the largest majority given a democratic
candidate since the war.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

When the newspapers get through
with Mr.. McKinley's cabinet Mark
Hanna will take a hand IN making it.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Jefferson City had much to be
thinkful for last Thursday. And she
was thankful, too.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
nnmeseekera, EXCURSIONS.

Very low rates VIII be made by the
Missouri, Kansas and Texas Railway, on.
November Sd and 18th, December LIST and
18th, to the South. For particulars apply
to the nearest LOCAL agent, or address,
A, @. MINER, Sedalla, Mo, s.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

The old way of delivering messages 10y
post-boys, compared with the modern
telephone, illustrates the old, tedious
methods of "~breaking' colds, compared
with their almost instantaneous cure by
One Minute Cough Cure. Crust Il Day.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

The general opinion is that the
ssadvance AGENT of that '%'prosperity
c~ireus'' advertised a fake show.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

We hope that Breidenthal will be
elected United States senator from
Kansas. He deserves the honor.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
1895 ! CHRISTMAS + 1895,

l cordially invite all those who are interested in Holiday Goods
to call at my store and examine my goods No trouble to show goods
You are welcome any time, whether you wish to buy or not want
to sell you your Holiday Goods, and a visit to my store will convince
you that [ am prepared to offer you the very best line of domestic and
imported Holiday Goods ever offered in Lexington.
Very respectfully,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Tie railroads of Missouri find them
selves in the hands of the party they
fought.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

When last heard of Jno. j. Ingalls,
was having another ''irridescent
DREAM
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Lexington must make q movement
forward. A town that does nothing
must of necessity go backward.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Majah Wahnah is not particulty
about 1t being a cabinet job. ''Some-
thing equally as good" will do.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Get ready for the national park cam
paign. It's ours, if we go after it
right.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

The official returns from Missouri
give Bryan a plurality of over $4,000.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Bryan killed a deer. We trust he
will stop there, and not go to hunting
ducks.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

OF purse Hanna will be in the cabi-
net. That's an item in the contract.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

What has become of the Ladies'
Park association
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

The fight for an honest dollar will
continue.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28

Mark Hanna is at work on his cabi-
net.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
BLACK zee. CROOK.

Scaly eruptions on the head, chapped
hands and lips, cuts, bruises, scalds and
burns are quickly cured by DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve. 1t is at present the
article most used for piles, and it always
cures them. Crist & Day. 1-25-1y
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1896-11-28
FOR PRESIDENT IN 1900.

w. j. BRYAN
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

Johns, family "tell me the worst.
sir ?"
"It is bad case, DR.. Johns" said
Charlie. II can only do one thing,
and that is costly one. I can give
you prescription, but it will cost you
20 pounds. 1 am obliged to ask that
for it, as I obtained it under peculiar
circumstances. It may give you re-
lief. I have seen it used with very
good results."'
"Twenty pounds ?" asked the old
doctor, eagerly. "All right; will
give it, sir. What is the prescription ?
Here is the money"
Charlie wrote on a slip of paper,
folded it up, and handed il to the
doctor. He received it eagerly, open,
ed it with trembling hands, and by the
light of the bedroom lamp read:
"Don't get the wrong pig by the
ear. DR.. CHARLES HORTON"
With one bound the doctor was out
of bed, but "Dr. Holmes" had van
ished.
"Charlie," said DR.. Johns, next day,
''I'm getting old yon must come and
take my practice. Your 20 pounds
will help to give you start"
The doctor says he never got the
"wrong pig" but once.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

The WORST OF IT.-A country
minister who was more famed for his
virtuous and charitable actions than
for his eloquence and dictions in bis
sermons had been on visit to some
friends. 1t was arranged that John,
his man of all work, was to meet him
on his arrival at the station tc carry
his portmanteau home. He was there
punctual to time as the train steamed
into the station. He hurried off to
the luggage van to get the bag. He
was told there was nothing for him.
He was little surprised, but not
very uneasy, thinking that his master
had taken it into the carriage with
himself. He turns round and OBJ
serves his master coming toward him,
but no portmanteau with him.
SIN the name O. a. that's guild, sir,
what haze ye din VII the portmany ?"
"Alas! John. I am afraid we shall
never see it again. The fact is, it has
been stolen"
"Stolen did you say? I'm very
sorry to hear that"
"But, John, that's not the worst OF
it. All my sermons were in it."
"Deed, sir, gin that be the case, 1
peety the thief."-New York Evening
Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17
OF
BICYCLE
PERFECTION

MONARCH Bicycles have, during the
lNl last two or three seasons, come to be
the King of Bicycles in every sense of the
word. 1t is the Lightest running, the
Prettiest and the most Durable. 1t makes
a man or woman happy to know that he
or she owns the BEST Bicycle in the
world-the MONARCH. You see lots Of
bicycle dealers who say the wheel they
sell are far superior to the Monarch and
of course they may think so but it is not
a case of ''think s0' with us. We know
that the MONARCH is THE BEST b.
BYCLE on the market. 1t has been
thoroughly tested by the best riders of the
country. Catalogue for a 2-cent stamp.
Prices of Monarch Bicycles range from
SS5 to Sl25. Ride a Monarch and you'll
be happy.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17
Hutuuruus 9epartment.
A SLOW TRAIN.

Southern railroads have reputa-
ton for slow travel, and in some cases
it is well merited. A western travel
ing man, making trip on these lines,
suffered a great deal. of annoyance
from this particular failing, but up to
the time of the following incident he
had enjoyed himself immensely guy
ing the conductors, trainmen, or any
persons having to do with the roads.
about their rapid transit.
He was travelling one afternoon on
an exceptionally slow train, which
came to stop every now and then
without any apparent cause. After
expressing himself very audible to the
passengers he resigned himself to the
inevitable, and dozed off into short
maps, which were interrupted by the
sundry jerks of the train, at which he
complained. The passengers showed
their annoyance at these complaints
by angry looks. The conductor had
excused the engineer in every possible
way. The last apology had been that
cattle had obstructed the track. The
train had started again, and had pro,
ceeded about 10 minutes, when it
halted with a jerk. Up walked the
impatient traveller and petulantly re-
marked
"Dear, Dear I suppose, conductor,
this worse than slow train has struck
another herd of cattle?
"Struck another one ?-not much,"
replied the conductor; "we've simply
caught up again with the first herd
we ran into, that's ALL"
The traveller subsidized and the con-
ductor was left in peace.-Harper's
Round Table.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

p1- The youthful heir to an ances-
tral establishment is of an inquiring
turn of mind, and directs his attention
specially to the elucidation of religious
problems. Last week he heard Sun
day-school address on "The Prodigal
Son." Just what the small boy
thought of the address his father was
curious to learn, so he said to him
that night at supper, "My son, tell me
which of the characters in the parable
of the prodigal son you sympathized
with ?" "Well, papa" replied the
cherub, with perfect nonchalance, 81
think I'd feel disposed to sympathize
most with the calf"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

HARD TO LOCATE HIM.-"Cheer
up" said the preacher of the Cross
roads circuit, "your loss is his gain"
"But he didn't gain bit," replied
one of the mourners; "he commenced
ter lose the fust day he TUX sick, an
KEEP on a-losin' ter the last" but
he died in the faith, didn't he %
"No, sir-in the bed" II mean," ex'
claimed the preacher, "that he died
in triumph" "Well, he mout died
thar eff he had been thar, but as he
warn't thar, he died in Jimville-
right here whar you'se a-standin' !-
lobe-Democrat.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

B9- A gentleman who was in the
habit of interlarding his discourse with
the expression 81 say" having been
informed by a friend that a certain
Individual had made some ill-natured
remarks upon this peculiarity, took op-
portunity of addressing him in the fol-
lowing amusing style ofrebuke;"1 say,
sir, I hear you say say I say at
every word 1 say. Now, sir, although
I know 1 say Il say at every word l
say, still 1 say, sir, it is not for you to
say 1 say 4 say at every word say"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

I@ This is girls composition on
boys: "Boys are men that have not
got as big as their papas; and girls is
young women that will be young Ia
dies by-and-by. Man was made be-
fore woman. When God looked at
Adam he said to himself, We'll, 1
guess 1 can do better if try again :
and then he made Eve. God liked
Eve so much better than Adam that
there has been more women than men
ever since. Boys are trouble. They
are wearing ON everything but soap.
If I had my way, half the boys in the
world would be little girls, and the
rest would be dolls. My papa is so
nice that guess he must have been a
little girl when he was little boy"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17
A PULLMAN
TO THE
BUGGY WORLD.

There are buggies, and bug
gies, and more buggies, and
buggies besides other bug
gies but thereis only ONE
"PREMIUM CAROLINA
BUGGY" built, and that
is Manufactured by the Car
olilla Buggy Co., Yorkville,
S. c. The Carolina Buggy,
for luxury, comfort and du-
rability, is to the ''private
conveyance tourist" just
what the Pullman Palace
car is to the railroad tourist.
A short time ago a gentle
man from this place was
over in Anderson, and in
passing a livery stable where
quite a number of horses and
buggies stood, his attention
was attracted to a beautiful,
numerical, faultlessly proper
ioned, fairy-like vehicle, and be-
oming curious, crossed the street
o examine the object of his at
raction critically, and after do
ng so looked at the name plate
nd discovered it be a CARROLL
IA BUGGY
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

Bg An Irishman, whose chief occu'
patton in life had been rock blasting,
obtained a position on farm, and
was one day seated outside vigorously
churning butter with an old fashioned
churn. Two former companions pass.
ing by, caught sight of him, and after
stopping to contemplate the situation
a moment, one of them suddenly ex
claimed nPon me conscience, Ter
renee, but there's McManus, and he's
gone crazy, sure enough! He's sittin
dhere wild wooden dhrill, preparin
to put blasht in bucket" ."-Munsey's
Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

CONNECTIONS.
No. 80 has connection with Southern
Railway at Rock Hill.
Nos. "a and IS will carry passengers.
Nos. II and II have connection at Marion
with Southern Railway.
At Roddeys, Old Point, Kings Creek
and London, trains stop only on signal.
s. B. LUMPKIN, G. P. A.
A. TRIP, superintendent.
SANpL HUNT, General Manager.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17

Trains Nos. 8 and 10 are first class, and
run daily except Sunday. Trains Nos.
go and 81 carry passengers and also run
daily except Sunday. There is good con-
nection at Chester with the G. G. Il N.
and the c. C. & A., also L & c. R. R: at
Gastonia with the A. & G. A. L.; at Lin.
colnton with c. c.; and at Hickory and
Newton with W. N. C.
L. T. NICHOLS, supt.
G. w. F. Harper, Receiver.
Lenoir, n. G.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-10-17
WRITE EASY!

TUST as easy to write with RAPID
u WRITER FOUNTAIN PEN as it is
to "scribble" with pencil and you know
how easy that is. The Rapid Writer Pen
has no superior and few equals on the
American market. 1t is guaranteed to
last you 10 years. Any defect or break
age not caused by neglect or misuse will be
made good by the Company. There are
Pens in use in this county and they are
all giving perfect satisfaction. For prices
and further information, call on or write to
OLIVER E. GRIST, Lock Box 8,
Yorkville, S. G.