The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-04-07
JUSTICE JOHNS COURT.
THE PENALTY OF BEING GREET
BEARS HEAyJLF UPOy HIN.
His Fame in Crabbottom Inspires n
Modest Bard He Disdains the singer,
but Deals Gently With hooters.

Justice John is a very polite man, and
the penalties he pays for being great are
AT times onerous and burdensome. lie
| knows that he il as big IN the public
eye as the bulrs-eye In an amateur arch
| cry target. and that his coming ana go
Ing is a matter Of tremendous, tumul-
tuous. and triumphal enthusiasm. or tear
ful. touching. abject dependency.
Justice John also knew that on Easter
Sunday he was capable Of giving tone and
inspiration TO one church ana congrega-
ton. but then he thought Of the other
lightweight churches in this city upon
which the gloom OF his absence would
settle with lustreless darkness and in
effable sadness.
| lie knew that one set OF his friends
| might grow uprOarlousy glad. shrek loud
| hosannas as they stfcWed the aisle ne
| trod with flowers OF spring, and smash
! Easter bOnnets in their unrcstrained ana
| imitless joy; but he further knew thst
deep. dark. and impenotrable gloom must
| be the sad portion OF thousands OF others
| whose songs would lauguish and die on
! their lips and whose cup Of 10y would be
| turned TO wormwoOi and gall when he
| came not at the appointed hour.
| Men OF national reDute, like Depew,
| Whitney, or Croker. usually 80 abroad when
! such situation conironts them, thought
| Justice John. and so, in his dilemma, he
| took the train for Old Point Comfort, ana
! spent Sunday stridng around the ram
! parts and whisthng merrlly az the
| thought Of having escaped inc RESPONSE
bMlty OF makilg anybody in l'lchmehd
Amother incontroyertible evidence OF The
! fame and inspiring effect that the carec.
/ Of Justice John has upon the puhl'f 4.
| large may be found iu .ne acna ale
|
yesterday morning from Craoootto1.
| Highland county.
| This sp)uieuce shows that the
| penalty for being great does not always
| fan on Justice John. buf. as every COM
| rcLn.fy shares the fame OF It's heroes
| and reflects the ustre ot ts luustIl9ds
| men. ours will, Of course, rcyel IN ms
| tribute to Justice john, and rejoice lh
| the peans Of praise that come re-cchoils
/ from Hardscrabble Mountain. emutiinlhs
| him i'm immortal verse. very inuch IKE
| 4 fred Austin, the laureate on E"E IT,.
| would ndite 10 the chief JUSTICE OF MS
| country.
| HERE'S WHAT HE INSPIRES.
| "Who has not been amused al some OF
| the scenes and characters In Justice
| Johns high tribunal IN Richmond Iheie
justice is dealt out regularly. and with
| lightning like rapidly. Not 20 III a
| magistrates court-nOt so swift. but sure.
| But "A more 1aughable. side-sphtting snow
| cannot be witnessed than magistrate
|
| al This March term the docket was
| quite lengthy and the most IMPORTANT
| case 10 be tried was Eve against Ad2nl'
| for assault and battery. ,,,.
con what is known as HardscraDDle
| Mountain Cwell named. and one not soon
| forgotten bv one that has traFelled ihls
| mountain lives Nick --. tiose uy W.
| a stlll. and on this particular occasioi
| Nick had taken on too much booze a.
| gave a sociable in honor of the event. lis
| friends were invited. and a high old time
| had. IN -o.ood
| ings Of the trial. also of the circumstances
| that led TO IL. in doggerel rhyme
| Adam and Eve at Nicks met one night,
! on mission OF cheer, but not for 10 nght'
| on the apple-juice simply ther splI'lS
A the fountain Of Hcllespont had long
since been dry. ,, -
| While Adam and Cora We're taking reel,
| Ewes dog. not the serpent DIT AuaH
rxcifable Adam disdaining the trick,
| Retaliates promptly by dealing KICK.
Tbis ollite enraged Eve. as she loved her
Pint u ressp eefiie decorum. shook her fist
Now Adam sm' too tipsv TO take it in fun,
Loses his temper and deals Miss Eve on
| AltnOugh not d Druise, nor even sAui'
Eve ha Sai,T' to stover's to have Adam
The 'saaire issues warrant for Adams
Then = swscker and Kramer his body pos
trial ~ once the squire did call.
| Assembling Adam aud Eve, NICK Amos
Eve s state as' that all were drunk except
But against such statement the parties
| demur. ... III moro ny,
Excepting himself Nick says all were Oh
| a..
Then " indignant ain;is at I've squarely gives him
The e eHf enc in. the verdict is made:
| 4 fine Of six dollars. which promptly WIS
rh. Pal PAL over the parties disperse.
| Scme for TO laugh and others TO curse
| on her return, Eve. ehteilns - ~, tbe
| Spied four OF her dogs lying aedu oi' '"0
She cries ,So. Goodness graciousl ! an almost
out Of of's seven Of my dogs there's only
From 'h ipItSnsIfied wrath she cursed and she
At ss sGSe'' her dogs lying dead on tha
wen noIt Neither Adam nor any other
| man should strike a woman. II - -
| wrong for Eve or any o.l. 49," ,,ci,hfe
| keep go many dogs 10 p-Ipe'r 80
| ana sorrow upon the huWhu tdCr. o,.o,
az ,orst be very catering, ana even
| ~, 10 Inc soul Of Justice john 70 nave
| ca inspired the bard or Nfaepo1'o,. ~
80 pp,en for him 20 20 slow, Tor me me
u Tic Is accustomed TO the quiet peaceful
pursuit Of country NE are Sa55y m eHS Hoi
/ 10 uHusu@i ~, a source OF inspiration as
nav pi SS Surroundings Of Hardseraop-e
[ Mountain. -. 1,ov-pr
In the FIRST place. hardly anybody " hn ys
justice John when he 70 cane ,be s i air. hsI
br9hHS1u onsorrno,isly in weight. ana We
3, GAM an appearances CHANGED man. u .
20 20, a., 'b XIX Us wonderful how some J" -
AZ do'i Change with whole day spent at
OlG P0.ni,i case on the docket revived
| ~. hoseht az Easter Sunday IN '"T
,,rinds of an present. .,.-.,od with he
| -, CnurlOck was cNal bcu "-~'- ~