Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1896-12-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY,

Nothing IS more dlscouraglng than
unappreciated sarcasm.
Teacher-''Now, Tommy, tell me
what Illuminating animals are9" Tom.
my-'"rhem what chews their cubs.
Judge.
Leldum Fedd lat the door, -"Kin l
see de lady of de house?" Hennypeck
Whose wife is out wheeling)-'I am
he. Puck.
"Mr. Dutfington hasn't any society
manners whatever" SIS lie awk-
ward?" "No, but he doesn't like tea. "
-Chicago Record.
"Mr, Burlington hasn't any society
manners whatever" SIS he awk-
ward?" "No, but he doesn't like tea. /"
Chicago Record.
Anarchist "Hhe land should be rs
free as tho water" Goldby-''Per-
haps; but would you use it any more
than you do the water?"-Trnth.
81 didn't realize how short he was
until 1 heard what Miss Pinkerley
said about him." "What was thatT
"She said he was every iuch gentle-
man. -Puck.
1T is, indeed, hard" said the mel.
ancholy gentleman, "to lose ones
relatives" "Hard?" snorted the gen.
tleman of wealth. "Hard? 1t is im.
possible. ."-Cincnnati Enquirer,
"Willie, what was :the preachers
text" 'Somethin' about havin' faith
like grain OF some kind of seed, an
sayin' to the mountain git move on
you + an it'll git. "--Chicago Tribune.
Two souls with but single thought,
CTwere better had they none)
For the thought they had was the old, old
thought,
That two can live as cheap us one.
Detroit Free Press.
"Well, did you hear nything
about that Jones. Brown affair ?" She
-"Oh, yes! I can't begin to tell you
all heard" He-'I suppose that
means you won't be able to stop.
, Puck.
Artist--"I fatter myself this last
picture of mine is an excellent one"
Another Artist-"My dear fellow, you
don't Aatter yourself half as much MS
you hatter the picture. ."-Roxbury
Gazette.
Bobby-"Ma, yon said that WASN'T
10 eat that piece of cake in the pantry
- because it would make me sick"
Mother" "Yes, Bobby" Bobby loom
vincingly)-"But, ma, it hasn't made
me sick. Answers.
Buneen (-..---t', +'Ai'-. Jo". u"-
Gle! Why, man, you told me your
uncle had both his legs carried away
at Sedan" Jimson-'So he did. He
carried them away himself, pretty
fast. I tell you !"-Tit-Bits.
"What liar Featheihorn isl"
"Eh?" "Now that everybody is go.
ing about saying Il told you SO,
Featherhorn is pretending that he
never had any idea how the election
would go."-Indianapolls Jouanal.
s'But what real objections can you
have to women riding the wheel, Mr..
Growell?" "To tell the truth, / don't
mind admitting that I object to it
mostly because so many of them ride
botter than the men" "--Cincinnati En-
quirer.
"And you, my friend, shouted the
street corner orator, ''are you a sup.
porter Of our American institutional"
"MeY" answered Weary Watkins.
"Lord bless you, mister, no. The
institutions support me. ."-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
Little Ethel-"I Won Ter why men
like to talk about their old school
days?" Little Johnny-"I s'pose
after they got growed up they is al
ways tryin' to find out where the
teacher lives, so they can lick him. -
Comic Outs.
Literary Aspirant-'1t must be fine
to he an editor and have an opportun-
ity to print all you want to say" Ex-
perienced Newspaperman-"Bless You
boy, printed all I wanted to say in
the first three weeks. Ever since then
I've been filling space. ce."-Somerville
Journal.