davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1896-11-22
When Fruits Ripen in California.

All fruits bear in some time of the
year, and some bear all the year. Dur
ing the twelve months orchards anC
vineyards may be depended upon tt
yield as follows, with minor changes a.
to altitude and location:
January-Oranges lemons, strawber
RES, and occasionally apples, guava.
and raSpberries.
February-Oranges, lemons, guavas
and strawberries.
March-Loquats, oranges, lemons
lines, guavas and strawberries.
April-Loquats, oranges, lemons
lines, guavas and Strawberries.
May-Currants, loquats, oranges
lemons, lines, guavas. strawberries
and occasionally cherries, apricots anC
peaches.
June-Cherries, plums, apricots
rrunes, peaches, currants, loquats, or
anges, lemons, guavas, Strawberries
raspberries and grapes.
July-Figs, apples, grapes, cherries
nectarines, plums, prunes, apricots
peaches, currants, loquats, oranges
lemons, guavas, Strawberries, black
berries and raspberries.
August-Pomegran figs. grapes
ounces, apples, cherries, plums. prunes
apricots, peaches, oranges, nectarines
lemons, guavas, strawberries, blackber-
ries and raspberries.
September-Pomegran ounces
figs, nectarines, grapes, apricots, ap-
pies, plums, prunes, peaches, lemons
guavas, strawberries, blackberries
gooseberries and raspberries.
October-Pomegrana figs, ounces
grapes, apples. plums, prunes, peaches
lemons, guavas, strawberries and rasp-
berries.
Notwithstanding pomegran-
ateS, ounces, grapes, apples, figs
plums, prunes, peaches, oranges, lem
ons, guavas, strawberries and rasp-
berries.
Observation-Disclosures ounces, pome-
granates, grapes, apples, figs, peaches
oranges, lemons, guavas, strawberries
and raspberries.
The foregoing illustrates the remark
able variety of fruits produced in Cali
fornia, and shows the lengthy season
during which they may be gathered
fresh from tree, bush and vine. 1t is a
convincing argument to place before the
people of the Eastern States-Califor-
MIA Fruit-GroWer.
The record-union., 1896-11-22

night, but the doctor said he would do
right enough if we gave him rest for a
day or two. And so he did, though his
nerve was so shaken that we had to
send him back to the plain again where
there are no rattlesnakes 1t appeared
later that Louie had cherished a morbid
dread of snakes for a long while, ever
since he had had a hand in the killing of
one six feet long down in the republic
of Mexico; though after a couple of
years on the ranch he had almost for
gotten that there We're such things. A
man that IS nervous about snakes
should never go barefoot in the hills.
1t only shows what told YOU" Jock
Peters commented "Strychnine is the
thing for snake-bite, because it is such
a nerve-tonic. If a man could make be-
lieve he had not been bitten he need
never die of snake bite. If ever I'm bit
ten / shall make believe 1t was a cactus
spine
This rs a true story. although it's such
good one. If anyone doubts it, he
can see the thorn.-Macmillan's.
The record-union., 1896-11-22
A PalpabIe Mistake.

The elderly man had nodded approy-
ingly now and then at the poem which
youthful friend was reading. The
title was Twilight" 1t seemed to give
satisfaction until the reader came to
these lines:
Might waits by the shore with a heart
that is cold
Till the sun has sailed west with his bur-
den of gold"
Hold on" said the elderly man.
THAT won't do"
why, those are among the finest
lines of the composition
It's too risky. You've got the sun
sailing West with burden of gold"
It's only a figure of Speech
Il know that. But you've got to show
some respect for the probabilities in a
figure of speech the same as anywhere
else. The idea of the suns taking
chances on getting into Colorado with
cargo of that kind is too irrational
even for poetry. y."-Washington Star
The record-union., 1896-11-22

How's all the folks. old woman? The
children's growed a sight,
An Betsy Jane, they tell me, got married
Wednesday night:
An Tom has took an run away? But
you jest stick a pin
Right here-Here's one old feller, thatll
never run agin
They closed you out sence I been gone
the mortgage comm due;
l hearn you lost yer brother John an all
the Jerseys, too
Pears like the farm has run ter seed? But
stick another pin
Right here-Here's one old feller that'll
never run ag'int
Don't reckon I'll be Coroner-leastways
that's what they sadi
I'm tired o stumps, an ten mile jumps,
an pine straw for a bed;
Pears like the countrys run ter wreck,
But-gimme one more pin,
Fer here's one fool old feller that'H never
run ag'ini Atlanta Constitution.
The record-union., 1896-11-22
Sunstroke and Liquor.

During the month of January says
''The Medical News" there occurred
over three hundred deaths from sun
stroke in Australia. When called upon
to offer suggestions relative to its pre-
vention the Medical Board promptly
informed the Colonial Government that
of all the predisposing causes none
was so potent as undue indulgence in
intoxicating Hquors-and in it's treat
ment nothing seemed to have more
disastrous effect than the administra-
ton of alcoholic stimulants. After this
precaution, suggestions were offered
regarding the selection of proper cloth
ing, etc
The record-union., 1896-11-22
Overlooked.

mo, SIR" said the man who was
chewing long straw. Il amt satisfied
yet. | don't think any one o. them con-
ventions went went fur enough"
L thought you regarded the future
very hopefully"
Il did fur time. But in the excite
ment we overlooked things thet orter
a been done. 1t never occurred ter
me at the time, but We made a big
mistake by not havin' a plank put inter
the platform maxim it agin, the
law fur it ter rain on a mans hay
when he's gone ter town ter tend a
p'litical meetin'. '.'-Washington Star.
The record-union., 1896-11-22
Apology Unnecessary.

In the days when it was common 70
the younger son to go into the church
one of these young gentlemen ha,
charge of an outlying chapel. A Sun
day or two after his ordination ne foun,
himself there in the afternoon with onl,
the sermon in his pocket that he hat
preached there in the morning, and S,
the unfortunate curate had to give i
over again. He began after service t,
make profuse apologies to the clerk
when that functionary politely stopped
him by saying:
'Lor' bless ee. Master Charles, dom
ee take on so. We never listens TO eel
---Tit-BitS.
The record-union., 1896-11-22
Observation-Disclosures.

The palm for absent -mindedness is
probably taken by a learned German,
W hom a Berlin comic paper calls Pro-
fessor Dusel of Bonn. One day the
professor noticed his wife placing a
large bouquet on his desk. What does
that mean?" he asked
Why" she exclaimed, don't you
know that this is the anniversary of
your marriage?"
..Ah, indeed. is it?" said the professor.
politely. Kindly let me know when
yours comes round, and l will recipro-
cate the favor."-Tit-Bit
The record-union., 1896-11-22
AN ADMONITION.


Be warned in season. lady fair; the air is
growing chill
And the days are very swiftly drawing
near
When we'll pluck the holly branches from
their haunt upon the hin
And graft them to the glittering chan
delier.
'Twould be n melancholy chance If you
should fail to find
The salutations that were yours of yore:
And Cupid. If the tiny god has not been
much maiigned.
In identity has made mistakes before.
SO bend your ear. / pray you. The con-
fusion will be less
II you list to what | fain would whisper
low
Let the bioomer garb give place to your
accustomed mode of dress
Ere you wander meath the mystic mistle-
toe. Detroit Free Press.
The record-union., 1896-11-22
BOSTON TO SACRAMENTO.
Greatly Benefited by the Change and
Well Pleased With This City
and Her People.
Their Visit Here Has Not Only Been
Pleasant, But VIII BE IL Joy For.
over. For 1t Has Given Them New
Life and Hope.

Mr. Silas +. Tower and his wife. Mrs NJ
f. Tower, say: That for several years the
health of our family. which consists of
US two and our only child Oracle has
been seriously failing. We left our home
in Boston and tried several places in the
Eastern States for our health but without
benefit. We then resolved to come 10 the
Pacific Coast, and first landed at Victoria
then came TO Portland, and thence TO Sac
ramento. We were treated by several
doctors OF the first two named cities but
received no benefit. When We arrived in
Sacramento we heard so much of the
Neagle Medical Institute that We took our
daughter Oracle there and put her under
treatment. She had been suffering from
a headache almost constantly for a year
or more caused, as we supposed, by a
catarrh. She grew thin of flesh, her COM
plexion became sallow, her appetite poor
she was easily fatigued, indisposed to
make any eXertion, even at play, was
weak. and seemed to have lost all in
terest in everything. There was some
swelling of the glands about the throat,
and severe catarrh of the throat and nasal
passages. Her cough became very dis
tressing, especially at night. causing her
to hawk and spit great deal during the
day.
We were told that her case was one OF
catarrh and bronchitis complicated with a
slight scrofulouS habit.
AT the end of three months treatment
she had completely recovered, and IS now
perfectly well.
The record-union., 1896-11-22
DIR. WILLIAM THOMAS MORTON
The 7an Who Discovered the Use of
Ether as as Anestiletic.

1t has been frequently said that the
greaA benefactor of man who ever
liveu was he who discovered the use of
ether as an anesthetic. From among the
many claimants for this honor the
scientific world seems to have settled
upon DIR. William Thomas Morton, and
ON October 18th, the fiftieth anniver-
Sary OF the first successful use of it
was celebrated in Boston.
The record-union., 1896-11-22

DIR. Morton was born in 1910 in
Charleston, Mass. AT the age of 21 he
began the study Of dentistry, and few
years later began the study OF medi-
cine at the Harvard Medical School
Here he began the Investigations that
led TO his great discovery. His first sue
cessful operation was the pulling of a
tooth, the patient declaring he had felt
no pain. The discovery startled the
scientific world. DR. Morton died from
anor,lexy
The record-union., 1896-11-22

The first factory for the manufacture
of cotton sewing thread was located at
Pawtucket in 1904.
The record-union., 1896-11-22

'Theologians speak of a dispensation
of law and a dispensation Of grace. .
saws the New York Independent. +"
land some find evidence under the for
mer. in the consequences of sin. of God s
wrath. and under the latter, in the
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
FAMILY ARITHMETIC.
A Connecticut Mathematician and His
Queer Freak.

The strange names bestowed upon
helpless children by their parents
have formed the subject of many anus
ing stories. In a Connecticut town,
some years ago, there lived a peculiar
couple who selected the names of their
children apparently with a view of ed.
vocational exercises. There were N
children in the family, and they were
named for the numerals in regular
order, beginning with One"
The father was locally famous as q
mathematician and during the early
years of his children they had a daily
tuition which seemed extraordinary
to their playmates, who were pro-
yided with everyday names.
Three and Four go out to the wood
box and get your mother some kind
lings," the mathematical father would
say, appearing before a group of his
numerical offspring.
Three and Four would keep on play
ing ball, or whatever game happened
to be expressing their attention, but
a diminutive person who commonly
answered to the name of Seven" was
sure to drop his play, and start for the
woodboX.
One member of this family, who re-
joiced in the cognomen Two" lived
to attain considerable distinction, and
the record of some Of his achievements
and successes is preserved in the town
history, together with short account
of the various sums in addition, sub
traction, multiplication and division
which his father devised from the
material afforded by his children, and
in which the youthful 1.-TWO" played
an important part.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

"A 50-foot granite shaft, the long
est piece of granite ever taken out of
quarry in Vermont, was quarried DIT
Barre few days ago.
Cats can smell even during sleep.
When piece of meat is placed imme-
diately in front of a sleeping cats nose
the nostrils begin to work as the scent
is received, and an instant later the
cat will wake up.
-"Instead of colds coming from at
Inospheric changes, as people general
ly suppose" says a noted physician.
they generally originate, in my opin-
ion, by breathing impure air. Ninety
nine per cent. of what are termed colds
are nothing more nor less than the
poisoning OF the mucous membranes
by bad air.
Orange growing in Arizona is de-
clared to have passed the experimental
stage, and will become an important
industry in the territory. This years
crop in the Salt river valley, where
most of the experimental groves are
situated, is large and of excellent quail
ity. The Arizona oranges ripen some
what earlier than those in southern
California.
Seventy thousand tons of the
stern and rock-bound coast of Maine
were shipped from two quarries alone
last year. The total amount of gram
tie shipped away yearly reaches an
astounding figure, and the geography
of the Maine coast is being considera-
bly, changed by the cutting out and
shipping away of islands of granite
and not little of the mainland.
Last year 25.115,9O3 fewer cigars
were made in the United States than in
1894, and S,35S,3SO more pounds of
smoking tobacco was manufactured.
During the year there were manufac-
tured in the country 4,150,915,20
cigars, 3,768, 911, 677 cigarettes, 256, 160,-
sos pounds of tobacco and I1,705, Ala
pounds of snuff. There was an increase
N the output of cigarettes by 435, 761,-
or over 1894, and a decrease of Az
$50 pounds in the amount of snuff man.
ufactured.
Mixtures OIL ar WIN less imam "a
per cent. of acetylene burn completely
10 water and carbon dioxide, according
to NJ. LIE Choteller's experiments, re-
ported 10 the Academic DIES Sciences;
with between III and ia per cent. of
acetylene the products consist of water,
carbon monoXide and dioxide, and hy-
drogen. with a larger percentage of
acetylene, free carbon and unburnt
ocetylene are found. With oxygen
mixtures containing between rs and
90 per cent. of acetylene will catch fire
with air; the limits are 2.S and 65 per
cent. In tubes these limits are mar
rowed down, till in tubes of one-half a
millimeter or less it is impossible to
propagate a flame.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
Not DIsnosed to Ouibhle.

While the two urchins who had adj
journed to the alley in the rear of the
barn to fight were stripping for action
the larger one said:
kid, I'll let we off if ye're 'fraid.
can lick we in two minutes. I'm ten
pounds heavier'n you be-"
That's all right" responded the
other. IF you'd wash the dirt off'n
that mug O. your'n we'd weigh bout the
same"
The fight that Immediately followed
was the fiercest one the neighborhood
had seen for many day, and it is with
a melancholy satisfaction the historian
records the fact that the smaller boy
whipned-Chicago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12

A superbly rich Elizabethan tomb is
left to us in Boreham church, Essex.
This was erected to the memory of
Thomas Radcliffe, earl of Sussex, lord
chamberlain, and known as the stern
opponent of Leicester. Three knights
in martial costumes lie on the tomb
slab, one of which is his son and the
other his grandson. Walpole incident
ally states that the earl bequeathed
1900 to be expended on this tomb,
and that his executors agreed with u
Dutch sculptor, Richard Stevens, to eX-
ecute his part of the work for 9292 12s
Sd. The earl and his son were first
buried in the Church of st. Laurence
Poultney, in the metropolis, and then
removed to Boreham at the instance Of
the grandson.-Cornhiu Magazine.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
The Near-Sighted Woman.

What a curious manifestation of van
ity it is which prevents near-sighted
woman from wearing glasses. One such
woman was a member of party that
took a trip over the Rockies. She heard
The others eNclaiming over the beau
ties of the landscape through which
they were passing. Not wishing to be
behindhand: Look! look there!" she
presently exclaimed, isn't that eXquis-
tie? What a picturesque ruin!" The
picturesque ruin" turned out to be
a stable or a barn painted with: "Use
Pains Painless Plaster, etc" Unfe-
tered by one such error she raved in
ecstasy over the 'oveliness of some
stunning woman" until llind-heart-
ed companion checked her by pointing
out that the fair one was an antique guy
with Il wig.-N. Y. Herald.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
The Sarcasm of Destiny.

A friend of ours who has made ma
tional reputation for his wit and humor,
and INDUCED in that vein because it
procured bread and meat for his fam
lily is, to our knowledge, great classic
scholar, profoundly pious and serious
gentleman, producer of some of the
noblest essays on great histrionic
themes. These are the masterpieces
that he would prefer to bc remembered
by, but, by some sarcasm of destiny"
as it is called, he has been compelled
to seek another and more profitable
outlet for his genius. Writing to a
friend, some years ago, he said: alas,
is it not deplorable that / have been
forced to become clown in my old
age?" He exaggerated his position, for
there is an immense amount of valuable
material in his productions, which,
however, have a minor chord of the
comic. But while the world demands
and pays for his ''fun," he is really
averse to such composition, and the
fame he has won has an element of bit
terness and disappointment to him.
augusta (Ga.) Chronicle.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
A BOOmerang.

The victim of the subjoined remark is
doubtless still bordering as to wheth
er ignorance or malice prompted it.
The season ticket holder happened to
have peasant seated next to him in
the train. Noticing that the conductor
took up no ticket from his ncighbor,
the peasant commented ON the fact.
"Oh, travel on my good looks" re-
marked the other facetiously.
"Then probably you amt goin' far"
observed the peasant.-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
The Sense of Direction.

If there be, as some suppose, sixth
sense, by which animals, birds and in
sects know in what direction to move
toward given spot, how many strange
things it explains! The late Prof. Riley
once Matched some japanese ailanthus
silkworms i'll Chicago. He confined u
female moth in small cage; he car
ried male of the family by night to
another part of the city, mile and a
half away, and liberated it, having first
attached silk thread to its abdomen.
In the morning the male moth was how
ering around the cage of his imprisoned
sister.-Youth's Companion.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
Students of Human Nature,

Two pickpockets saw gentleman
receive a large sum at the bank, and
followed him for some time to get q
chance at it. Finally the watched
turned into lawyers Office, and one
of the watchers aid: "That settles it.
He's gone. Come along"
''No! mol" said the other. "Wait till
the lawyer comes out. Wen tacllle
him" bay City Chat.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
Presidential condolences have been

Presidential condolences have been
many and peculiar. John Adams was
eight years older than his successor,
Thomas Jefferson; he eight years older
than James Madison; he eight years
older than James Monroe, and he eight
years older than John @. Adams. George
Washington ended his term as presi-
dent in his 65th year, and SO, too, did
John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James
Madison and James Monroe. Thomas
jefferson and John Adams died on tie
same day, July 4, 1926, exactly so years
after the signing of the Declaration of
Independence.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12

A boy with package rang the bell
of an Ervay street mansion, and to the
young lady who opened the door he
said:
Miss, here is book for you. 1t
is How to Play on the Piano."
81 never ordered that book"
mo, miss, but your next-door neigh
Dor did. He said you needed it the
worst kind."-Dallas TEX } Sitter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
A Matter of Money,

A couple of Dallas gentlemen met,
and one of them remarked:
"You look down in the mouth.
What's the matter? Is it love or BUSH
ness that is troubling you?"
business. That rich girl to whom
have been engaged for the last six
months has shook me-" - Dallas
(TeX.) Sitter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
Took Time to Make 1t.

"That was very fine speech you
made the other night" said one Pitts
burgher to another.
Il didn't make it the other night"
replied the latter. 81 delivered it the
other night, but it took me Il month
to make Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
How Nice That Will Be.

Cawker (reading) An artificial
larynx has been invented, and persons
who lose their voices can have new
ones put in at short notice.
Cumso-Then l suppose we shall
soon be reading the sign: Your voice
extracted while you wait."-Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12

Mr.. Chaflie, of Dallas, is very sensi-
BILE man. He put his son, Johnnie, at
a private school and said to his teacher,
THAT boy is no good. If he cuts
up, just do me the favor to kick the
stuffing out of him. I'll do as much for
you some day."-Dallas CreX.) Sitter.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12

"What made Blimmer become a de-
tective?"
"He wanted to be able to poke his
nose into other peoples affairs while
minding his own business. Chicago
Record.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
why Papa Shuddercd,

Davie was pulling nails - creaky,
raspy, rusty nals-with a claw-ham-
mer.
Here, boy, what are you doingP'
said his papa.
"Playin' pulhn' teeth 'thOut pain,~f
replied Davie. Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
The Difference of a Word.

cries,
But it might be worse" while the pes
Simist signs
And means and groans, in prose and in
verse:
There's nothing so bad but it will be
worse"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
THE CALLERS HYPOCRISY.

Mistress What did you tell those
ladies who just called?
Bridget-Oi told them that yez was
not in, mum.
Mistress-And what did they say?
Bridget-'IIow fortinit," mum. -
Leslic's Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
Natural Resentment.

Little boy" asked the sympathizing
lady, why do you cry SOP"
is there anything in the manner Of
my expressing my grief, madam" re-
sponded the Boston boy, that strikes
you as being outre or inappropriate?
Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"-Chicago Trib-
une.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12

Mrs. Commuter-I don't think much
of those new neighbors of ours, Ferdi-
nand.
Mr.. Commuter-Well, my dear, it
isn't necessary for you to be on more
than borrowing terms with them I'M
less you care to.-Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12

Lobbs - A boys will is like the
winds will.
Bobbs-Wrong! One raises the air.
while the other has no heir to raise
". Y. World.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
A MODERN LOVE AFFAIR.
Broke the Silence.

For long time after he had succeed
ed in inserting himself through the
door at three a. m, she regarded him i'll
silence.
At length she spake.
Also she spake at length.-Westohes-
ter Globe.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
A Remarkable Creature.

May must introduce you to Mr..
Gayly. He is quite noted character.
Pamela-Is he?
May-Yes. He made love to u girls
last summer without causing them to
become jealous of each other.-Town
Topics.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1896-03-12
A Descriptive AiIment.

Jiggs-I hear old Bragg has the ty-
phoon fever.
Briggs-You mean the typhoid fever,
don't you?
Jiggs-No, I mean the typhoon. He
centers everything in himself, and he's
all wind.-N. Y.World.