The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-11-15
GOSSIP OF THE TOWN.

The reporters who did the University
Collegiate institute football game for the
morning papers have both been fired for
getting scooped. 1t serves them well
right too for they overlooked the most
important item of the season.
1t is seldom a good old-fashioned, first
class freak comes to this city and wien
one does put IN an appearance, ms, OF
her, or its presence is always hoteu' Will
At the football game alluded to there
was present the biggest freak OF tne
season, in the person of man with three
arms Both The Herald and tribune
man overlooked him, but not so with the
artist on the latter sheet, who captured
him hot right off the bat and placed his
picture in the paper. where II VIII re-
main from everlasting to everlasting
Both city editors were riled when they
saw the picture of the man and noted
that no descriptive write-up accompanled
the same. Mr. lsleharUcaHe1 tie pale laceu
youth who reports football on his paper
into the sanctum ana after placing MN
on the carpet inquired If he noted the
presence of a living wonder at the game:
The young man flushed to the roots OF
his hair, and replied that he did not:
what" calculated Igie. You didn'
see the man with three arms?''
NIT" replied the football editor
You viii find your stipend for the
week in a buff envelope IN the CUSTODY
of Mr. Robinson, down stairs. y freezingiy
said the city editor, land in future you
had best devote your attention toward
attaining perfection in saving wood or
carrying coal up stairs. When freak
like this stands in the foreground. as
of football with the intense interest
which this freak displays on his features,
and a reporter detailed TO watch the
game omits him, there is something lack
ing.
The young man went.
In The Herald sanctum similar scene
was enacted The manager of the city
department sank into his cushioned seat
at the usual hour and, after lighting a
fragrant Cressida, began looking over
the opposition organ with the lntenuon
of ascertaining whether the force en-
gagged thereon had woke up yet, when his
eye lighted on the freak.
"He-ll-oI' he exclaimed. there's some
thing which must be pretty good Wonder
il we had that?"
Examines Herald account of match and
finds no al!usion to three-armed man.
What no. without there!
Enter the office boy.
Send me the football reporter" CThe
only place football editors exist is
across the street)
The young man came in stroking his
chrysanthemum fondly, with smile of
expectation on his bright and shining
face and a laughing light in his beaming
blue eye.
You reported the game yesterday"
Yes sir
See anything of a three-armed man
out there?''
No" CThis in a surprised tone)
''Ah, 1 thought so. Well, there was
one. Inasmuch as three-amed men are
novelties one doesn't meet every day in
the year, they are entitled to a local
brief at least when you find one. l sug-
gest that you will find the cashier down
stairs ready to reimburse you for what
you have done during the last "a hours.
After you have drawn your salary go and
f0
discovered that a two-headed calf is some
thing out of the ordinary; that six-legged
colts are not common; that when a pig
is born with three tails and cabbage be-
gins heading up below the surface of the
earth it is something to be wondered at,
come back and perhaps we can give you
situation in the janitorial DEPARTMENT
and let you work up. That's ALL"