The Valentine Democrat. [volume] (Valentine, Cherry Co., Neb.) 1896-1898, 1896-05-21
THE SUBJUGATION OF All SING.

beyond which no conception Of heroism
coaches. The model woman screams at
q spider, and discusses the merits Of
vase goes crashing to the floor. Such is
the standard of feminine courage, the
foot-rule by which a woman may be
measured. Yet when not n piece Of
china, but two pieces, and three, and
four, fall, the standard becomes use
less. A woman is not epected to bear
more.
Yet more came. There was a fifth
crash in the kitchen. Mrs. Melville
stopped in the midst of telling Richie
of the SiXth-that anchOvy paste was
to be struck off the commissary list; she
stopped and looked appealingly at Mel
vile.
"Austin, can't you do something's"
Austin gathered up his napkin, put
his hand on the table, and started to
push back his chair; then he sank down
again and restored his napkin to its
place on his knee. eff | go in there and
he gets impertinent, I'll break his head
which would be bad for his head and,
incidentally, for my official neck"
But it's head or china"
swell there is plenty more china
and when that gives out the quarter
master has a new invoice of tinware."
But, seriously, Austin, there won't
be a thing left for the general to a
off of. What are we going to do about
it,"
Il think the epidemic is over. There
has not been a dish broken that l know
of in five minutes. You must be reason
able, and make due allowances for him,
Matty. It's hot out there. It's hot here,
too. It's hotter than blaZes every
where"
Il think, my dear, you are bordering
On profanity. Of course it's hot. Within
the memory of the oldest inhabitant, it
has neve been even cool in Arizona in
July. You really can't expect the inspec-
tor general to bring ice. MI. Richie,
don't you think he ought to do some
thing?"
Il must respectfully decline to enter
into a family difference. You and Mel
vile must settle the question between
yourselves. Only let me suggest that
if it comes to the actual breaking of
heads, I'd take it out on Sing, and not
on n another"
"There! AUSTIN" fairly screamed
Mrs. Melville, jumping UP, there goes
another; and yet you sit and laugh. Oh.
how horrid you cal be-"
"Sit down, Matty, and talk sense.
Suppose l should go out there and at
tempt to reason with Sing. In the natu-
raj sequence Of events it would come to
pass that in his present humor he would
be SO ugly that L should feel obliged, as
I said, to break his head. Apart from
the distant consequences of that act,
you a see that the near ones would
be pretty bad. You'd have to wash the
breakfast dishes, and do the house
work, and also cook and serve the gen.
erals dinner. Therefore, the inadvisa-
bility of my reducing Sings head to
splinters is obvious, isn't it,"
Il suppose so; but 1 do wish to good
ness Mrs. LaWrence'S cook hadn't got
married"
$50 does she-the cook, 1 mean-since
'O'Halleran came home drunk two
nights @ and thraShed her. He's been
in the guard-houSe ever since, and I'm
out a good man. Shows what marriage
does. Before he was married, he didn't
beat his wife. However, it wouldn't
have made the slightest difference
whether she had committed matrimony
or not; the Lawrences would never
have had the general nor even a single
member of the staff to dinner. She's
never dined the paymaster, you know"
Il think it's too bad a first lieuten-
ants wife has to do it, and all the rest
of the entertaining for the post"
"You are also the adjutant's wife,
remember"
Eyes, of course. 1 wonder what's the
matter with Sing, anyway"
That's obvious-approaching guests"
observed Richie, stroking and curling
his unduly military ~mustachios, the
mustachios that have entwined and en-
shared so many hearts in their silken
meShes since then, in the whirl of
Washington society. Richie was Mel
gille's second lieutenant at that time,
and as he was not married, and didn't
like the bachelor mess, he messed with
his senior and that young officers wife.
"Why didn't his cousin die, them"
perhaps he realizes that the dead
cousins funeral is a little worn as a
method of obtaining a leave"
81 should think so; one died when the
was coming to dinner the
time before last, and another when the
Indian agent was here, and he polished
off two in anticipation of the paymas-
ter'S last trip"
That's not all, Austin" pursued Mrs.
Melville. Generally he only slams
when he has lost at faro the night be-
In pursuance of his method of war
fare, Sing precipitated a chopping-bowl
and knife to the floor, with a resulting
noise that only the falling of those two
.omely utensils could possibly accom-
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