The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1896-03-29

when all OF a sudden, without saying a
word. that savage cut off the hot water
and turned on the icc-water from last
years refrigerator, that felt Ike forty
| thousand frozen pOrcupincs had stuck all
| their qulls ga my poor carcass. i SAID
| not a. word but closed my eyes. com
pressed my lips. and held fast TO the
ball. Finding he couldn't make me show
/ the white feather with ice-water he sud-
denly tackled my left leg below the knee
and sprintcd across the hail into another
room, where / made touch down with
the northwest corner Of my head ana
| several other hard and ninty portions OF
my carcass that suddenly made the dark
room very bright and starry.
j claimed a foul on account OF his low
down tackle and be never said word
but turned a lot OF rcd-hot loose steam
on me and dartod out OF the door and
fastened 10 after him. In a few seconds
the room was so fun Of steam that
couldn't sec how to DO anything but swat
low 10. and kept swallowing 1t until
began to swell up like balloon. Inc
stone floor was beginning 70 ieei quile
soft when that invlncible Turk ran H.
grabbed me BY the hair, ana soused me
INTO "a large tank of ice-water on the
opposite side OF the hall. The steam
swallowed in the other room kept me
under my arm and never spoke.
BY this time my nerve began TO nave
some effect on this heather, ana caused
him TO relent. and taking me once more
by tho hair. drew me gently out on the
floor again, dragged me into another
room filed with couches and towels ana
dropped me carclosaly on a leather-cOV-
cred couch. and began 10 rub me with
coarse towel.
stn held on 10 the ball
saw the Turk smiling like he was In
a good humOr over something, ana ven
turod 90 speak 20 him, ana asked him
whore ne studied the game-at Harvard
Yale. or the University Of Virginia? lie
smiled wide and said: NAY .Aur' / learn
ed 10 in Manchester whin l was chair
man on two ward meetin's.'
Then he asked me what ] was carry
inc the rubber pillow around with me
for aud 1 knew ] had been making fool
of myself. After drying me the Turk
took me into the mOrgue, wrapped a
sheet around me, and told me 10 go 10
sleep and rest.
Next morning / started TO Washington,
u. g., 10 see about having a monument
erected 10 the memory OF the grand
father Of tho Declaration that was writ
| ten by his jefferson. l got off the tram
and asked % small boy If be could show
me tho Washington monument. as /
| wanted TO get some idea of how 10 build
/ these things before going 10 Congress
! about 81. The little fellow walked me
/ through long. narrow street until We
got out Of town on the opposite SIDE
! from tho depot and across field with a
/ few scattering hashHy-painted houses 10
! a. little stone cottage near the road,
/ which the boy called the lodge, and
/ little beyond showed me a small monu-
/ ment very much like a number We have
| in Hollywood. 1 asked the boy where
the door was 10 tho elevator, and he
said: DE amt no door and no elevator.
/ neither"
/ told him there must be some mis-
! take. as / was confident there was an
| elevator in the Washington monument.
| Then he said: "Tain't no mistake, cause
| 1 know dat's,de Washington monument
! and der amt no elevator, but you kin
] ask Or. Sampson over dar at de cottage
| ask Dr. Sampson over dar al de college
| about it," j called on Or. Sampson at
the college ana found him a very pleas
J ant. handsome gentleman about forty
three. with a fine school Of young ladies'
and gentlemen from all parts of the
world clustered around him seeking
| knowledge ! asked him n that was the
| Washington monument I'm the field near
! hv. and If there was an elevator in IT.
Tie said. yes. that was certainly the
! Washington monument, hut IL had no
elevator. and. I'm fact. needed none, as II
was not large enough
Then" said J.. what makes people say
! they rode 10 the top Of the monument on
the elevator and got fine view Of the
country? Now, / want TO get view OF
this country, and how am l going TO 90
IL If I can't 20 up in the monument
Ur. Sampson mumbled ont something
about rats being very bad I'm the garnet.
told him that they didn't disturb me,
and that 81 ne didn't know anything
about the monumeBt. ile could probably
tell me where 20 find the Capitol building
as 1 had a petuonrL wanted TO presen
10 Congress.
'You will find that in Washington.
/ u. G.. You can leave here on the after
noon train and get there in very shori
while"
saw he was trying TO make sport Of
me by the way he smiled; so, with an thC
sarcasm / could muster into nay face ans
| tones. ] said. "Wll YOU please tell ma
whore You think I'm al now 90
"You are I'm Fredericksburg. Va" said
he.
"Then what do YOU mean 10y telling me
! that thing out yondor is the Washington
monument, and how did l get TO Fred
| ericksburg when 1 had a ticket to Wash
iugton?'
SWANSON'S LEG-PIlLbkS.
"a don't know how you got here bot
YOU are here, and the monument in Ques
ton is one 10 the memory Of Genera
Washingons mother. who lived in tina
little yellow cottage just in front of tn
college and his sister lived In The hous
lust back of here. and this college 81
built on part Of the old Washington
estate"
i thanked Or. Sampson for his kindness
and started of. when he offered TO shov
me the places OF interest and battle
fields around the little city / left on tn
afternoon train and bought all the Wash
jneton papers the newsboy had tn stoci
SO Inc couldn't call out Washington
until We got there. and / didn't get on
the train until the conductor told me We
were i'm Washington and the monument
| had am elevator I'm IL.
| first went 20 see Mr.. Taz. Elicit abon
| my monument scheme hut he said ne
was so weak and used up after his lat
| illness that he didn't feel equal 10 II
and besides he wasn't a very fluent
sneaker. and that / had better see Clau'
dms Augustus swanson, from Chatham