The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1896-03-07
Gall, The Great American
Product.

Gall, The Great American
Product.
(By w. C. Brann ia Brann's Iconoclast)
Webster gives several definitions OF
Gall, but the good old etymologist was
gatherered to his fathers long before
the word attained its full Development
and assumed an honored place in the
slang vernacular of the day. It was
needed. 1t fills what editors some
times call a long-felt want. Gall is
sublimated audacity, transcendent i'm
pudence, immaculate nerve, triple
plated cheek, brass in solid siugs. ii
ia what enables man to borrow five
dollars of you. forget to repay 1t,
then touch you for twenty more. II
is what causes man who should be
fiddIing on stick of cordwood with
an able-bodied buck-saw TO aspire to
the Governorship, or seek to draw five
thousand year aud mileage for adver-
Using his asininity in the Congress OF
the United States. 1t lie what leads a
feather-headed fop, with no fortune
but his folly, no prospects but poverty
who lacks business ability to find
bread for himself-to mention mar
riage to young lady. to ask her to
leave the house of her father and help
him fill the land with fools.
We make manifest our immeasura-
bic Gal! by proclaiming from the
housetops that of all the ages that
have passed DER the hoary head OF
Mother Earth the present stands pre-.
eminent; that of all the numberless
cycles in Times mighty pageant there
was none like unto it-no, not one,
And | sincerely hope there wasn't
Perhaps that which induced the Deity
to repent Him, that He made NAH
which caused Him to send the Delugt
to soak some of the devilment out OF
him-was the nearest approach to it
We imagine that because we now
have the electric telegraph and tho
| nickel-plated dude, tine printing press
and the campaign lie, the locomotive
and the scandal in high life; that be
cause we now "roast' our politica
opponent instead of the guilelesi
young missionary, and rob our friends
by secret fraud instead of despoilin{
our foes By open force, that eve arr
the people" par excellence and thu
Lord must be proud of US.
Progress is not always improve
ment. A people may grow in Gall in
stead of grace. l measure q centur!
by it's men rather than by its machines
and We have not, since civilization
took lie boosted leap forward pro
duced Socrates or Shakespeare,
Phidias or an Angelo. This centur.
runs chiefly to Talmages, and Deacon
Twogoods, Wanamakers and Ware
| McAllisters. politicians anG poke
players, intellectual soup and sill
lingerie.
The poets no longer sing of the i'm
mortal gods, of war and sacrifce
while the flame mounts to manhood
cheek, red as the fires of Troy the
twitter of loves and dovies, OF posie
and pretty amours, while pretty me-
applaud and sentimental maids &c
moons,ruck. Cincinnatus no longe
waits for the office TO seek the mali
at least not here in Texas he sells hi
brace of bullocks and buys politics
boom. No more the Spartan mothe
gives her long black hair for bow
strings she blondines it, paints, pow
ders aud tries to pass as the younge
sister of her eldest daughter. III
j Morse viking no longer plows the un
known wave. his heart wilder tina
the watery waste, his arm stronge
than tempered steel; he comes t
America and starts saloon. No NOR
the untamed Celtic king caroms o
the Saxon invader with a seasone
blackthorn he gets on the police fore
and helps "run the machinc"-an
clubs the head off the unhappy ma
who won't 60 home till morning. N
longer does the philosopher retire I
the desert, and there, by meditatio
most profound, wiring from the secre
treasure house of his Cwn superio
soul Jewels to adorn this age aud er
rich the world be mixes an imposs
BILE plot with little pessimism, adds
dude and q woman whose moral char
acter has seen better days, spills tn
nauseous compound on the pu bile as
philosophical novel," and works th
press for puffs.
Indeed, we're progressing going OF
ward and upward--like the belle
buzzards lodging a divorce scanda
Greece had her Pericles, but it was lei
for us 10 produce Parkhurst. Th
! Princes of old conquered the eartl
but the modern plutocrats put a mor'
gage on it. Cleopatra drank pear
J dissolved in wine, but whisky straigh
is said to be good enough for some {
her successors. Samson slew til
Philistines with the jawbone of an as
but modern politician, employing til
self-ssme weapon, would have got Eel
to elect him Governor.
|
Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, la,nen