The record-union., 1896-09-13

ENJOY a rev moments OF muCn-noeUeO
repose But the fates willed it other
wise. The mosquitoes danced quad
rifles on their pates, played tag and
kept up an incessant chorus. 1t was
about a quarter to five when the blue
ribbon rooster in Farmer Jones' barn
yard awoke to a realization of his
duties and sent out shrill intimation
that morning was at hand. The boys all
joined in the chorus, and snatches of
Down in Poverty Row" and ''The
New Bully" were waited on the breeze.
Sleep after this was an impossibility,
and after a hasty toilet the boys made
a survey Of the place, thereby collect
ing huge appetites which threatened
to. produce a famine in the poor old
farmers home.
A fish breakfast had been promised
but the Tralaloos got in ham and eggs
and watermelons For reasons connect
ed with race and religion, ham is not
popular with a number Of the organi-
Zation, but they tackled the eggs with
such good will that ere long there
wasn't one in sight. The watermelOns
proved popular, too, and the COWS and
pigs and fowls feasted on the leavings
of the generous Tralaloos.
Dove hunting was now in order, but
a number who had heard the little
fishes whistling for bait proceeded to
satisfy them. Carp and catfish readily
grabbed the tempting offerings and
were pulled in high and dry amid the
cheerings Of the idle boys A game Of
ball was then started and it seemed a
shame to see such playing wasted on
the desert air." At noon the party ad-
journed for nap, as the sun was up
in all it's glory and playing havoc with
their pores. About o'clock swim
ming became the fad and after meas
uring Trilbys and the like, the boys
dove and swan like mermaids. Poor
Ikey Guggenheim, who could not swim,
was towed out over his head and left
to paddle his own canoe. After the
spectators had their fun he was hauled
in and rolled over beer barrel and re-
lieved of considerable water which he
Immediately replaced with beer When
the swimmers finally cried quits" they
were so sunburned. having gone in
gerbed in the altogether" that they
looked like boiled Holsters.
1t was decided to leave for home about
this time so that those who liked could
attend the concert, but when all was
in readiness for departure the plan was
changed. There on the top of the levee
stood the beautiful Jersey COW of Farm
er Jones with the tears trickling down
her eyes and her tail wagging nervous
ly. She was tired Of her monotonous
life, and when this lively party ap-
peared on the horizon she was 10th to
part with them. Even the mule brayed
a ha oh OF
cordingly the crowd again repaired to
the house and passed the evening, wait
ing for the moon to rise, and telling
stories and imbibing liquor. The impa-
tient owner of the vessel suggested a
start when the man in the moon put
in an appearance, and when the boys
made dart for the launch he breathed
more freely. But presently the air rang
with heart-rending cries of the appear
ance of river serpent. They poured
all the whisky and beer on board into
the river and under this treatment the
river serpent disappeared. 1t is curl
Gus scientific fact that the whole fifteen
saw the monster but in no two cases
is the description alike. There Is some
reason, therefore, to believe that a
school of river serpents in disporting
itself in that part Of the Sacramento
River. Many of the members of the
TralaloOs who were cultivating a most
promising jag were scared into sobriety.
For a while the launch ploughed ma
jestically through the waters, but under
the effects of the soft silvery moon and
frequent glances in the remaining tea"
bottles the boys again became hilari-
Gus. They shouted to the hobos along
the river and rang the bell and blew
the whistle until the people along the
river thought that the Captain of the
Apache or some other river craft had
gone crazy and was footing his fog horn.
The next specific diversion was caused
by Fred Blackney, who wanted to sing.
Every one tried to dissuade him, but 1t
was useless. His voice was so strong,
he said, that he couldn't hold 1t,
proposition he straightway backed up
with iIlustra tions of Down Went Nc
Ginty" and Just Tell Them That You
Saw U.s." His example proved conta
gious. Presently all the Tralaloos had
lifted their voices and pandemonium
reigned.
1t was about midnight Sunday when
they reached the foot of Market
and they were feeling fine. But it was
different the day after. Some were
70 dpptdI dk l-lSlE respective
places Of work, and not a few alleged
that they could not get rid of the WIS.,
ion of the river serpent, and most of the
others had indistinct reptilian remin-
iscences besides fits Of seeing double.
Moreover, they were so sunburned that
they did not dare to laugh for fear of
cracking their countenances.
1t is rumored all over town that the
fishermen intend bringing a bill before
the Legislature when 1t meets to
prevent these orgies, as they solemnly
swear that the fish have been so thor
oughly scared that they have forsaken
their old haunts and are nowhere to be
found. Of course the Tralaloos are de-
nying all this, but the truth Of the mat
ter has at least been brought to light
and unless they want a watery grave
they better steer clear Of the Sacrament
to River in the future.
AT SUNSET.
So much there was in my thought to do
:, l,;c f,;r Of