Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-07-09
The presidential candidate

Doth now seem small beside
The pitcher for the baseball nine,
Who,is the city's pride. i
Baltimore News.
When it begins to get real summary
not, can't we manage to have the wealth
err man arrested for scorching Phil
adelphia North American.
Briggs-Does your wife laugh when
you tell her funny story? Braggs-
Oh, yes. l always tell her beforehand
that it is nny.-Indianapolis Journal
She-Do you know anything worse
than man taking a kiss without asking
for it? Hell do. What for I'M
stance?" asking for it without taking
it."
Mrs Winks-I don't see how you
could afford to pay $500 for wheel
Mr.. Winks-I couldn't. That's why
have got to pay $1O5 for it.-Somer7ills
Journal.
Tommy-Paw, what is designing
villain? Mr.. Figg-Oh, the description
would apply to one of these poster ar
lists about as we'll as anything.-In-
d1anapOlS JOufnal.
Sweet is the summer breeze that goes
To gladden. toiling man
Especially the one that flows
From an electric fan.
Washington Star.
'Look here, Bawl Barings, I've q
proposition to make" What is it,
NoopopsY' "You stop talking about
your bicycle and I'll not say another
word about my smart baby" Truth.
Justice-You are charged with steal
ing Colonel Julep's chickens. Have
you any witnesses? Uncle Moses-I
heb not. don't steal chickens befo'
witnesses.-Amusing Journal.
Young Husband-Are you in favor Of
free silver or the gold standard, my
love? Young wife-Oh, I don't care.
my dear, so long as you have plenty OF
it-Philadelphia North American.
'Say, Dobbs, all your family are
away; what do you keep your alarm
clock going for?'' II want to wake up
every hour and realize that I don't have
to walk the baby Chicago Record
1--WE cannot find a place to so this
summer" whats the troubleY' eve
want a summer resort from which we
won't have to write home that we sleep
under blankets. Chicago Record.
Mamma, were those stories Uncle
George was telling us about the big
fishes he caught fairy stories?' II don't
know, my child; wasn't listening, but
l imagine they were."-Brooklyn Life.
Edith and Mabel had just put their
dollies in their little crib. Said Edith,
with sigh Of relief, "There, I'm thank
full we've got the children to bed. We
shall have little peace now" -Boston
Transcript,
Wheeler see by the papers that O
Chicago bicycler was held up by swo
men. Sprocket Feeling if the court
plaster was in place on his facet wish
to gracious it had been meLYonkers
Statesman.
Rugby-Our landlauy, is one of the
most expert calculators in town. Will
kins-Is she? Rugby--Yep. We had
beans for dinner to-day; and she asked
me how manyI would lave Cleveland
Plaindealer.
George-How do you like it, Corat
Cora-Its perfectly lovely But what
do they have. all these policemen at the
game for? Oh, know; 1t is to keep
the men from stealing bases.---Somer-
vile Journal. -
eft is the intention to collect about
$11, OCO for. Pittsburg's Fourth Of July
celebration this year" remarked the
Horse Editor. ''Ah," replied the Snake
Editor, Money to np'-Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
How is Jenny See getting along with
her bicycle lessons 2s, "Oh, nicely" re-
piled the young enthusiast. "She has
only taken six now, and, do you know,
l never saw any, one fall Off a wheel
SO gracefullyw-Buff Times. !.
Jilson-Is .Jubbs sick or travelling?
Jabson-Neither. What makes you
think so? Jilson-Tye been looking out
of the window the hast ten minutes
and haven't seen him playing hose
on his lawn.-Roxbury Gazette.
IF this Misther Hanna gets to be
the great man he promises now" said
Mr.. Dolan. ,'.therc'll be twice the num-
Der av babies named .aftfier him rs is
named aftller most celebrities ''Oi
see no rayson fur it, replied Mrs. Do
Ian. Its plain as day, though He's
naturally qualified fur the distinction.
They kin name oil the by babies
Mark an all the, girl babies Hanna
an there y,are. Washington Star.