The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-03-15
ALKALI IKE.
How Lop-Eared Watkins Paid n Debt
of Gratitude.
From the Washington Star.

Denver tell YOU began Alkal Ike. m
a reminiscent way. addressing the in
Quiriug gentleman from New England,
about the way that Lop-eared Watkins
Z paid his long-standin' debt Of gratitude
TO the Hon PUNK Skee? say / didn't
T Much obliged,
Tell you how 10 was: Thissyere latter
/ man had saved the other feller's life at
the risk OF his own, under sucn auSpiciOus
circumstances 10 speak, that LOp-eared
I couldn't never fOrglr him for IL. From
+ what I've read ] Judge that. in the east,
d when man saves another mans life
U the rescued man pulls out his wallet.
D clears his th'Oat an hands his preserver
Z sech a sum, from dime up. as he fiatters
/ himself his life is worth. Or, mebby, he
/ invites him up to the house an gives him
7 glass of cider-an' usual IL is good cider.
| too All OF which is satisfactory, If you
/ happen to be built that way.
! out we're, in the boundless west. as
some Teller called II. the prevaiin' way is
/ TO say nuthin. the rescuer KNOWN that
! the rescued man will retaliate n ne ever
/ gifts chance, an neither party consid-
/ erin that any promises are necessary
But this yere Lop-eared Watkins was
somewhat different from the common run
/ Of men. an the debt he owed the Hon
/ PUNK Skee weighed upon him. He could
not somehow rest easy I'll ne had paid IT,
an the longer IL ran on the more I'M
easy he got. He was continually on the
! watch for chance to break even with
/ his preserver an at last he became DOS
| iuvely ofticious in the matter an took to
doggin his benefactor around an campin'
on his tran perpetual, lookin' for a
chance to discharge his debt.
Several times they came mighty near
comm to blows over Lop-eared's CRATE
ful persistence The Hon. PUNK wasn't
no more tOuchy than common folks, but
no gent admires TO have another gent
dublin around after him continual. hun
germ an thirstin' for some calamity to
befall him, so that he can git a chance
to rush in an do the handsome thing.
For long time, LOp-eared didn't have
no luck at all, but continued TO hover
arOunt the Hon. PUNK $ suburbs an trust
Providence. nime N "a
was rewarded. one dark night as the
Hon. PUNK is santerin' home TO roost
somebody hops unexpected around a con-
venient corner behind him an breaks his
head, rib or two and three or four legs
for him with a club, beats him to a quiv-
erin jelly generally and comes mighty
near ieavin' him in pieces all over the
surroundin' neighborhood.
1T amt long till yere comes Lop-eared
Watkins an thankfully picks up the Hon.
PUNK, packs him of in triumph and beds
him down in the best room in the ho-
tel-the bridal chamber, no less. Thar
wasn't nuthin too good for the injured
man DR.. Slade would have been ample
for him, but one doctor was a heap too
insignificant in the estimation Of the
grateful LOp-eared. Nothin' would do
| but that he must have all the medicine
men in the country swarmin' around the
| bed of pain
Poor PUNK was in mighty critical
| shape. an when the doctors announced
/ that they'd have to saw a piece out of
l his skull an mOrtice in silver plate LOp-
| joy. He stuck an hung for a slab of
| silver about three times as big as the
| biggest piece that the most extravagant
| doctor in the gang was willin to put in
| nuthin was too rich for the man who had
| once saved his life.
The doctors overwhelmed Lop-eared
| after a long an interestin' wrangle an
he compromised with 'em by havin' the
/ watch tinker engrave the follerin' motto
| surrounded by a wreath of touch-me-nots
on the silver plate before 1t was put in
" Presented to the Hon. PUNK Skee by
his lovin' friend Lop-eared Watkins
! For right smart OF a while poor
Plunks life hung in the balance, as they
/ say in stories, an durin' that time his
/ lovin' friend Dragged that If he was
| snatched from our mdse by the cold
! hand of death, as H. were. he'd give him
| the hottest Obsequies. the longest funer-
| al procession an the tallest tombstone
| ever seen in Hawville Durin' the time
| that his prey was lingerin' along, uncer-
tain whether to live or die, he lowered
over him day an night, an wore himself
almost to skin an bones watchin an
tendin him.
This went on till finally the Hon.
PUNK was able to set up in bed an par
that time, I'm trackin' upstairs to see
him. an when I'm about half way up /
| hears sort of a hooraw of some kind in
the sick room an two, three pistol shots;
an then yere comes Lop-eared boolgin'
| headlong down the stairs, runs over me
| similar to a whole stampede, tumblin'
me plumb down to the bottom an then
skins out Of the hotel as the crow flies.
Il collects myself an eripples upstairs
| to Plunk's room an finds him propped
| on the pliers with his six shooter clutch
| ed in his wasted hands.
Did you meet Lop-eared Watkins?'
Believe 1 did says l, PAWN my per
| son over for fractures. Whatever was
the meter. with him; he 'peared to have
| been sent for in great haste?'
| " L was endeavOrin' to gun the mizza-
BILE, low-down wolf, says he, savagely
any sympathy for poor, bedridden Grip
| pie, you'll go out an shoot up that cuss
for me to the best of your ability!
" Looky yere, Punk says 1, plenty
stern, don't you think your are actin
! kinder DANCED funny, to say the least
tryin to shoot up a philanthropist who
cussed if / ever had the pleasure of wit.
| nessn' such base gratituder
Don't talk to me about base ingrati-
tuder says he. That thar wolf shore
done me white while 1 was helpless-an
l give him credit for it-but dad burr
him; he's the primeval cause of my bein
in this yere condition.
q" L want to know says l. THROWN
up my hands in establishment.
YES ,;si by 5ngi IL Was MAS MIN i'm that fell OF
an mangled me up, jest in order to pu
me in position wur he could pay hi
by gosh-reason that. if he is still in tn,
settlement, the first time I'm able t,
come a-crutchin' ii out, / Il ventilate Lop
ca Ell W thAtAo ~ tAetl NitG jay DlIuS cal
fly right through himr
=" 'J7r-r-r-rr says he. Look at thi
yere coffin plate In my skull, an then tel
me if you think I'm too hasty with M
gun? Gosh hang it ALI Think of m
havin' to wear that thar obituary to tn
end of my days an bein the laughin
stock an mock of the whole civilized
world! Think ofshaVin' the public readin
my title clear on a tablet embedded il
the top of my head! I'm marked ma
forever! Ur-r-r-r-rr
Don't excite yourselfr says I. 'B
earn, an
Z" Be carmp he snorts. 'Kah! Yo
talk like a man with a wooden leg! G.
on out of yere an leave me to bear m,
cross in sollytude an grow new crop o
hair to cover up chat thar guideboard a
best l can
Also 1 done it. An that's how Lon
cared Watkins paid his debt of gratitud