The St. Johns herald., 1896-12-05
JAMES INCH'S DOWNFALL.

for every man. woman, and child that plays cards. He is pillar of the local Methodist Church, has publicly de- nounced dancing as an invention of the devil, progressive euchre and pedro parties as greased poles to the realm or Satan, and trolley parties as an even more sinful diversion than any Of the other forms of amusement to which he is opposed One might imagine from this that MT. James Inch was an un- popular man in Parlor City. Such, however, is not the case. The inhab- itants point him out to strangers as their model citizen, and can't say enough in praise of him. That Is be- cause MT. Inch is a sterling business man, and so generous and charitable that his fellow townsmen are willing to overlook his radical views on things in the amusement line.
 MT. Inch had an experience some weeks ago that came pretty near knocking down with one blow the splendid reputation he has built up for himself in Parlor City. It was a most unfortunate experience for Mir. Inch, but it provided amusement for his fel- low citizens for days afterwards, and some of them are not through laughing yet.
 One bright sunny morning early In August MT. Inch boarded train bound for ParlOr City at small way station some twenty miles from his home. He had gone ness, had missed the last train back, and night on a corn husk mattress in the local tavern had ruffled him about as much as he had ever been ruffied in his life. Mir. Inch had not been in the train five minutes when he heard a frightful racket in the car behind him, and on inquiring of the conductor what 1t meant was told that both of the rear cars were full of lunatics who were be- ing transferred from New York to the State asylum on the hill back of Par Tor City.
 ''They're in charge of keepers, all right said the conductor, "but they get excited every now and then, and tell you the keepers have their hands full. LOT! but they do curse!'
 Do you suppose I could go look at them?' asked MT. Inch, who immedi- ately made up his mind that 1t was his duty as Christian man to go and speak a few words of admOnition to these men.
 "DunnO," was the conductors laconic response. You'll have to ask the keepers"
 Mir. Inch rose from his seat and start ed back. He decided that he would not ask permission to do what was his plain duty. He felt that the keepers would refuse him admission to the car, so he made up his mind to slide in un- observed, take seat, and watch his chance to distribute advice to the un- fortunate. It was not a difficult piece of work, as the keepers were pretty busy when MT. Inch opened the door and walked in, and they didn't notice him at all. He gradually worked his way to the middle of the car unnoticed in the bowling crowd of wild-eyed men. and enscOnced himself in a seat beside a red-headed individual who was swinging his arms round in most reck- less fashion and singing in a shrill voice:
 ''This is my story, this is my song, Praising the Savior all the day long"
 Over and over again the man sang the cOuplet, sandwiching it with strings of oaths, which sent chills chasing each other up and down Mir. Inch's spinal column. He attempted to talk with the man, but he might as we'll have tried to converse with log of wood. Others with whom he started conversa- tiOns looked at him so blankly that he soon realized it was a hopeless task. and settling down in his seat, he re- solved to say no more.
 "When we get to Parlor City," he figured to himself, 'I'll just wait until they get this crew out of the car and then I'll go out myself and go home"
 Mir. Inchs resolution was the result of little speculation as to what would happen to him if the keepers discov- cred that he had entered the car and mingled with this crew of violent and irresponsible men.
 At the station in Parlor City on the same morning that MT. Inch boarded the train twenty miles away stood if teen keepers from the State asylum waiting for the consignment of luna tics from New York With them was young pr. Blank, on whose shoulders rested the responsibility for the safe transportation of the lunaticS from the station to the asylum. pr. Blank was worried. It was the first eXpedi- ton of this kind he had commanded, : and he was nightly afraid that some thing would go wrong. Only month before he had received his appointment to the asylum, and escape or revolt due to lack of proper precautions would, he knew. mean the loss of his place. He was relieved when the train rolled ill and a keeper jumped from the steps ot l a car, touched his hat, and announced | that all was well.
 "A hundred altogether, I believe, 5 the doctor remarked.
 ''Yes, sir; fifty in each car," said the keeper.
 Well. march them out as soon as l you can," said Dr. Blank, and he l hauled out a notebook and prepared to check off the men as they were hand 1 ed over to his keepers.
 They took the last car first, and Dr. Blank drew a deep breath of relief when the fiftieth man stepped to the 1 platform.