New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-02-23
CREATURES WITH BRAINS.
MALyERN's EDUCATED PIG.
THE TOWN CAN DISPENSE WITH cLoOA" A'D
TIMETABLES WHILE HE LIVES

THE TOWN CAN DISPENSE WITH cDo'A" "''D
TIMETABLES WHILE HE LIVES
From The Chicago Times Herald
"sneakIng of pork" said Bissell wilson, ui''''''
Messenger agent OF the Missouri PACING i'ai"ay'
inserting a conversational Jimmy into oiscus'o',
between two Board OF Trade men; speaking u
pork did you ever meet that educated p'e a. -.
vern? No? Well, there's one Joy anu u1"e" ',
coming to you. That pig Is Deyohu III .a' 49,,
argument the most accomplished amman IL, '''
ctato ~ Arkansas. You may tel. your stories VI
intar,yent dogs and wise mules but this brown
shoat Of Malvern has the general Information Oh a
university post-graduate met him In casuai
way myself though I've heard OF men VINO .iaV
ellcd al the way from Memphis to see him. what
Malvern YOU know, is where the NOT IPI.ie;
Short Line meets the Iron Mountain Road. s.VoI
on the platform of the station one morning anin3
biz projecting around the right of way IN desq ~
tory manner and while was idy watching MN ~, ne
surprised by sitting down lifting ms nose
ward heaven and how.ing In the most lr,smti,u,
manner never heard such horrible E, gpning az
song. and he wouldn't let up He Kept II gong a'
steadily as If he were doing piece w %,ostor into
Why don't you gnioSd yGuT parSewho was
Because I'm not ripe for the hereafter .r ne d me
who tried to bushwhaca that hog. l remember
eight or ten years aSo s,a,sa run
the tourist clear yonder 10 that bend In the track
He may be on the run yet He had nit so0u s"''
"'Why do the, natives set such store by NUS
He ain't regarded in that light, stranger SO
far from being regarded as ob)ecuohaple tIias
swine s the object around which eve pride swings
and rattles We set our watches by that hog, ana
town clocks In Malvern are useless luxury VIII W.,
Rodney-thats his name-on eartn You see, IL >
like this Twelve years ago Rodney. then COM
pig WIN IN nj rpht of %ay just
as the train stopped. The porter In the bunet-car
dumped his refuse food out beyond the water tanK
Just as he had for months before. Rooney nap.
pened down there and got square meal. NeNi
LAY nc came again. At first he got but one feed
per day. Then he began TO consider. ana 70 Jay
for all the trains. 1t took him two months 10
dHcrentiate between the local ana through ih I
but At last he got 'em fixed. and you couldn't drive
him here now before the reZular train time. Ihree
times a day-in the morning at about o'clock IN
the afternoon and again at She's tommy on the
spot" as these travelling men say. once port.
fooled hm-he threw the stuff out on the wrong SIDE
of the train and Rodney run him up telegraph
pole. 1t took the whole train crew TO Keep tne ps
at bay until the porter could get INTO the tram.
Since then they haven't tried eny tricks on MIN.
"'But why does he make such an internal nose
about IT.? | asked. 49, 49,,
THAT'S where his value az timetel.ng institu-
ton comes in. II the train is on time, he ain
saying a word. but II It's a minute overdue ne
raises hs voice and he keeps It up till he hears the
engine. So Malvern people know the time. whether
the trains are on schedule time or not. or course
rs monotonOus sometimes. when they are three or
stand IT until the delayed train comes or another
ono Is due from the other way
But | objected, when the time IS changed In
the spring and fall. It must throw the pig of his
reckoning
.''p1n't believe H. stranger The crtter do
ANYTHING but talk. and ne gets his tip on tn
CHANGES hearing the station men discussing the new
time-card. Rodney Is never wrong