The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-01-30


 --- -- ed you, darling" he said, as he put on his hat in the doorway at II D. m. "Oh, l George, thirteen is an unlucky number" she answered thoughtfully- Family Call.
 Afchltect-HaVe you any suggestions for the study MT. Veryrich? Veryrich Only that it must be brown. Great thinkers, l understand, are generally found in brown study.-Household Words.
 1t Was Torpid, d,--Mandy-What de doctor say is de matter wiV you? Ras- tus-He say l got what he call a tor pedo libbah. Mandy Gin evident trepi- dation)-It ain't liable to 'splode, is it?- Indianapolis Journal
 Patient-Doctor, do you think will recover? pr. Sooner-Yes; l am sure of it, You are the fortieth. One in forty rec'oVers from your disease, and the thirty-nine that I have treated are all dead.-TeXas Sitter.
 Tramp--Say, mister, will you give me cent to get me over to Brooklyn? Citizen-No sir; I am a genuine philan- thropist; l would give you a cent cheer Fully if you wanted to get from Brook lyn to New York-Truth
 This girl is a regular hummer,
 An iceman she loved in the summer
 But now I have found,
 Since winters around She's going to marry a plumber.
 New York Herald
 An Economical Arrangement.-H band-Do you think it saves you any thing to have running account at that dry goods store? Wife-I know it does. You can't imagine the amount of time 1t leaves me Why, I never have to stop to ask the price of anything I wish to purchase,-Puck.
 A Pattern of Cleanliness.-Fra A Frau Neuman is an extremely tidy sort of person, don't you think? Frau B. I should think she was, The other day a burglar got into her house, and the | first thing she did was to ask the man if he had wiped his feet on the mat Unsere Gesellschaft.
 Stranger 6o young man)-You are not | locking we'll this morning, my young l friend. Young Man-No, sir; I toyed with too much Jersey lightning last night. Stranger-Ah, and how does this lightning, as you call it, make you feel? Young Man--I makes me feel like | thunder.-Harlem Life. And the name is to be -" asked the suave minister, as he approached the font with the precious arrrlful of | Tat and Hounces. Augustus Philip | Ferdinand Codrinton Chesterfield Liv- ingstone Snooks." Dear, dearr turn- ing to the sexton): "A little more wa ter, if you please "-Tit Bits. Maud (smilingly)-So you saw the profound bow I got from handsome | Harry Brown? He's just graduated | from college with high honors as a vet ertnary surgeon. Ether-Yes; so Gladys told me. It's secret, but she's en- gagged to be married to him. Maud | (with sudden asperity)-Huh! a horse | dcctcr! @1"
 | Dobson-W What made you give up that play you were going to have in your Amateur Dramatic company? Did the | actors all back out? Fooge--No; that wasn't the trouble; but our leading lady insisted on wearing a. dress with a train three yards long, and the stage is only eight feet by six, so we decided to have a monologue. e.-Harper's Bazar.
 Mamma-And so he complained of your biscuits, did he? Well, wouldn t mind you will soon learn to make bet ter ones, and then you will please him. New Wife-But it is not that, man. ma I don't mind his finding fault with my cooking But to think that love. which I supposed was a sentiment of the heart, is only an affair of the stomach.-Boston Transcript | The ode wrote on the snow is lost; The weather's warm as May;
 There is not even hint of frost, And winters far away! | But be thou comforted, my muse.
 For. ere this ink is dry,
 The fickle weatherll change it's views, l And icebergs kiss the sky! Atlanta Constitution.
 q presume, MT. Harkus,' said young Sorreltop, who had lately married into 1 the family, Ethel will take her piano with her when we go to keeping house?'' Indeed she will not" answered his | father law That piano belongs to | her mother" Thank you, MT. Harkus, thank your exclaimed the young man, grasping him fervently by the hand; and the light of great joy shone in his eyes.-Chicago Tribune.