Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1896-01-10
nUMOR OF THE DAY.

to girl. l.-Atchison Globe.
The greatest trouble about blessings
in disguise is their dilatoriness about
discovering themselves. Puck.
1t is said that the idea Of the tobog.
gan-slide first suggested itself to e
man while swallowing raw oyster.
Lots of room for cheerfuldess,
Though it rains a flood
Let's be thankful that it's not.
Slush instea1 Of mud.
Silious-"Leave me alone with my
thoughts" Cynicus-"What perfec.
tion of solitude !"-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
There is difference between a cold
and the grip; but you will not realizs
it until you receive the doctors bill.
Truth.
Poet" Hope springs eternal in the
human breast" Cynic-"Yes. That
the pool of disappointment may never
go dry" Truth.
"Aappy Thought" Mem. (from
notebook of careless man)-"When
nothing else to do, wind UP my watch.
There are baciili in kiss.
I've heard it once or twice:
] really didn't know-iid you?
That germs could be so nice.
Washington Star.
Visitor ''But this portrait of Mr..
Bulger is q good deal more than life
size" Artist-"I know it. That is
the size he thinks he is. Boston
Bulletin.
Bowlder (excitediy)-'T tell you,
sir, this town isn't big enough to hold
us BOTH" Waugh (calmly)-"All
right. When are you going away?"
Somerville Journal.
81 am not going to take my meals
Mt the Hash restaurant any longer.
"Why not?" 81 heard the proprie.
tor tell delinquent customer to pony
p!'"-Detroit Free Prees.
q Proprietor-'T can't engage you;
your feet are too large!" Clerk
"But they will be hidden by the
counter, sir. Proprietor-"No
counterfeits allowed in this establish
ment l"-Waterbery.
"Women," said he oracularly to
her, ''are rarely good listeners. And
the prospective mother -in-law in the
hallway only applied her ear little
closer to the key-hole AMI smiled
grimly. Indianapolis Journal.
"Why, Willie! what. have you dono
to Jimmy Woods that he has gone
home crying?" Willie-"Well, he
told a lot of boys that his ma said our
family was one of the Oldest in the
place an I licked HIM. "--Pittsbur g
Bulletin.
"Great Scott!" howlel the boss,
"does it take you four ho-.fs to carry
message three squares and return?'
"W'y," said the new Office boy, ''you
told me to see how long it would take
me to go there and back, and I done
it."-Indianapolis Journal.
Ethel-'I suppose shall have to
--r this veil; it's the only one
It's SO thick one can hardly
zee my face through it," Edith
"Oh, wear it, by oil means. Every
body says you never had on anything
half SO becoming. Boston Tran
script.
az want to buy makeup tox,"
said the young married man. "a
makeup box?" the canfectioner
echoed. "We don't keep theatrical
supplies" 'Imean box of candy to
take home to my wife. promised to
be home three hours ago. Indian
apolis journal.
Judge-"What is the use of ap-
pointing q receiver for this corpora
ton? There is nothing left to re-
ceive." Lawyer Honor, l
will show by numerous cases that it is
not customary to appoint receiver
while there is anything left to re-
ceive." Brooklyn Life.
"Paps." (She knelt beside the de-
jected figure AMI foadly kissed the
dropping head.l "Papa. can. not
keep the wolf from the door with my
finging?" He was withou. hope, al.
though no smiled. "My child" he
sighed. "your singing wouli keep al
most anything from the door. but the
wolf is pretty nervy. "---Detrois News.
Tribune.