Evening star., 1896-10-17
DoOLEY ON THE vANDERB1LTs.
Simple and Unaffected Chat ON the
Wedding.

A Simple and Unaffected Chat on the
Wedding.
From the Chicago Times-Herald.
well. bad scran to these vanderbilts,
anyhow exclaimed Mr.. Dooley. II can't
pick up pa-aper anywhere but it's tn
Vanderbilts here an tn Vanderbilts there,
an tn Vanderbilts this an that. till I've
wore out ms right eye thryin' to find
whether Tommy White has got on his fight
with tn niger man r not. TIL pa-apers
Is run down turrible, Jawn."
"And what have the Vanderbilts been
doing?' Mr.. McKenna asked Marrying
and giving in divorceY'
That's what" said Mr.. Dooley. 'Ye see,
whin tn Vanderbilt man got himself un-
hooked be raison iv his bein' too discrim-
mate in his affections TIL Vanderbilt young
people that up to this time had not thought
iv tn blessed marital state-frm which
may tn Lord continue to deliver US, Jawn
-seein' that it was thing that cud be
dissolved as aiSy as thrunk-line pool,
begun to have an inthrest in 1t, ye mind.
Ivry day tn good man that has their par
ish has been called up be tn goold-mount-
ed telephone. Hurry up. there. an get
ye're implements r-ready.' What's tn
matther?' Wan iv tn family's down with
mathrimcnyal fever an has got to be mar
rid at wanst.' Thin tn good man'd lam of
in his buggy. TIL ceremonyals is simple
but impressive. First comes tn bride an
tn lad; thin Vanderbilt havin' an apoplec-
tic sthroke iv'ry third pew to tn music iv
rayporters; thin tn polls. afther tn ray
porters. thin tn man with tn phonograph
f'r tn bride an tn kid to kiss into; thin
Bill Whitney with a magnificent house an
guests. richly but simply dhressed in
clothes. some iv tn wealthiest wearin'
goold dimmycrats in their buttonholes.
TIL prisints to tn bride is simple but ex-
oriy- ~,
pickle castor. Harry LIE Grand Cannon
gives thin Turkish set in dimons as big
as a cuk stove. T. Duluth Hadley gives
thin pie plate set in emeralds that cost
tWenty-wan million dollars. Rufus Rooty-
toot gives thin ilivin' thousan' pairs iv
socks. warranted fast dye. Thin Bill Whit
rey gives thin a magnificent house an
wan thousan' acres iv fine land
"Th' ceremony is short but expensive an
as OF Vanderbilt goes fitting out to the
chune 1v Well all have apuplexy In tn
mornin' to attind another marredge an
see that wurrd is said about it In tn pa
pers, tn rayporters examine tn BRIDE
Sroom's suspenders an are searched be tn
polls.
'.whin tn glad but costly party reaches
tn drive they'se line iv modest but a
doliar-a -minyit hacks in tn street, an into
these tn small but wealthy couple is hist
ed. But befure they're dhriv away be tn
simple but luxurious hackman Bill Whit
ney comes out an prlsints thin with a
magnificent house an wan thousan' acres
iv land. which he'd intinded rr surprise.
but bein' a man given to walkin' in his
sleep. had tipped Off to rayporter he met
In lunch house in Park row.
We'll, tn couple is dhriv off bechune a
row iv simply but extensively clad ray
porters to tn humble but sumptuous
steamboat belongin to tn family an con-
veyed to tn diffident but princely home iv
tn family near where tn small but ornate
divorces iv tn family are cellybrated-th'
family disunion, as it were. On tn front
. thnry
presents thin with a magnificent house an
wan thousan' acres iv land. An thus, as
Hlnnissy says, another small but naughty
couple are lunched upon tn modest but
comfortable sea iv life.
"A gr-great people, tn Vanderbilts. a
great people. Poor but proud, simple but
iligant, pice, modest, retirin' people that
are dimmycratic enough to have their fits
Where they can be seen firm ca-ar WIN
dow an don't mind furnishin' tn pa-apers
with an invintory iv their coy but SUNNI
tuous prisints to wan another. Nawthin'
Nv tn 1oods about thin an none iv tn vul-
Ga frity that s1ndS off III ostentatious but
busted to be bor-rn an marrid, to have
deleryum tremens an be SINFUL to die an
be divorced where they can't be seen be tn
gran stand an tn bleachers. If they've
got amy thing sthrictly personal to do they
DO 1t at tn home plate, an it's on'y mat
ther iv time whin they'll be marrid an di-
Vorced on a thrapeze in tights.
hke their style, Jawn. an I like tn
newspapers givin' thin tn fullest attintion
It's a sr-reat thing f'r you an me to be
able to see these retirin' but affluent peo-
pie goin' around exposin' their lives as IL
they was chart iv tn internal regions.
an to have tn press shown what we
may come to If we keep on gettin' rich"
"Oh. WELL" said Mr.. McKenna, WHATS
the odds? as the man said when he bet on
Bran. Easy come, easy go. We're as
well on as they are at their poor but one
undred-millon-dollar home-what's its
name?"
'Th' Breakers said Mr. Dooley. AN
considhrin' tn history iv some iv tn par
ties at inthIest, as Dorgan tn lawyer'd say,
tn name was q sthroke iy tanfus.'