Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1896-01-23
Instructor. examining geometrical

Instructor, examining geonetrlcai
figures on board: I don't understand
these constructions.
Student: Very we'll; III see you after
lecture and explain them to you.
why do you set your cup OF coffee
on the chair, Mr.. jones'" asked a
worthy landlady one morning at break
fast.
"It's so ve,y weak, ma am, replied
Jones, II thought 7 would let it rest.
An old coachman, who was exto.ling
the sagacity of one of his horses the
other day, concluded by saying that III
any one was to 80 and ill-use him, lie
(the horse would bear malice just like a
Christian"
Mr. Watts: It seems queer that ele-
plants should be so afraid of mice.
Mrs. Watts: I don't see anything queer
in it at all The elephant is the most in
telligent of quadrupeds.
Tourists, on Swiss lake: Has any
one ever been drowned in this lake?
Rover: Oh, yes; but only tourists.
They tell me you have some money
left you? said Jackson. eyes, replied
Slimhead, sadly, lit left me long ago''
A chemist says wood can be made
palatable and nourishing. 1t will not
startle many to announce that good:board
can be got out Of saw-logs.
-"Are you interested in golf, Mrs.
Jennings" asked young Sinpkins, after
racking his brains for something to say.
I'm not familiar with his work at all,
replied the old lady. "What has he
written"
Rheumatism yields to Hoods Sarsa-
parilla, because the latter overcomes the
Tactic acid in the blood.
Figures that don't 1ie-standing dunn
mics in tailor's shop.
Coughing ilritates the delicate organs
and aggravates the diseased. Instead oi
waiting, try One Minute Cough Cure. IL
helps at once, expectoration easy, reduces
the soreness and inflammation. Every one
likes it. j. c. REDICK.
Beware of imitation, as the monkey
said to the masher.
One Minute Cough Cure is rightly nam
ed. 1t affords instant relief from suffering
when afflicted with a severe cough orcold.
1t acts on the throat. bronchial tubes, and
lungs and neverfails to give immediate
relief J. C. RBDICK
A large amount of tobacco is carried
by the pipe line.
Piles of people have piles, but De Wits
Witch Hazel Salve will cure them. When
promptly applied it cures scaldS and burns
without the slightest pain. j. G, REDIoK
New woman aspires to reach mans
position.
But she'll not catch the man, were
afraid
For when she's attained to her cherish
ed ambition
The new woman will die an old maid.
Does Your Husband or Son Drink.
If your husband or son is addicted to
the use of Liquor, Morphine or Tobacco,
purchase of your druggist bottle of HllFs
Chloride of Gold Tablets. They are
guaranteed to cure, or money will be re-
funded. Tablets may be given secretly
in tea or coffee and the FREQ use OF stimu-
lants allowed until voluntarily given up.
Price 81. 90 pei package If your drug
gist does net keep them, send direct to
The Ohio Chemical Works, Lima, Ohio.
Book of particulars and testimonials free.
The new chief of police of New York
says he believes in using grape and
canister to suppress rioters, who are con-
sequent1y likely to be very scarce during
his incumbency.
Grapes Ocerhaag Ttco Miles Of Carriage
DriUeS
Grape arbors loaded with grapes, ?
miles long and over 800 miles of vines
trained on wires. This is the extent of
Speer's Oporto Grape Vineyard at Passaic,
n. l., only u miles from New York City.
Those who doubt it can have their ex-
penses paid and 500 given them by the
n. ]. Wine Co. if they will come and see
and do not find the above true. The
wines are the oldest and best to be had.
"A fashionable Tourist says New York
uses 30, ,ooo, 900 roses and 100000 car
nations every season. Flowers are every
where, and Tourists stores are multiply
ing.