davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
AN eDlToR'5 NIGHTMARE.
He Was Fifteen Years Ia Supervising an
Eusistent Contributor

He Was Fifteen Years III SURPRISING an
EEsisteEt Contributor
The former editor Of Tha Scotsman,
wien be retired 10 enjoy I4is well earn
ed leisure -caye Alexander Russell this
advice, "The ccndnct Ct daily paper,
he said. Is always n very serious thing,
full of dangers aud difficulties, but in
addition to its usual anxieties you, my
friend. VIII every night have to keep
the most yigilant watch lest that man
Hill Barton should contrive to insert
his theory about Scotch cheeses into
your columns. -
Ii is not necessary to particularize
what it was it will suffice to say that
this theory-based upon the exposure OF
Scotch cheeses in front of the shops, and
the treatment to which they were con-
sequently expoSed-was not compli-
menta1y or likely to recommend them
to the purchaser
"Day and night, said Russell, for
10 years, | never forgot my Iradeces-
sor's warming A hundred times that
theory endeayored to gain admittance
into my columns. and by most unlocked
for channels; sometimes it lurked con-
cealed in an article about the Crimean
war, sometimes i'll one of the divorce
cases, sometimes in one ON the division
of the Free church in Scotland, or even
in the disruption itself; but it was al
ways detected and struck out.
ut was duel to the death, for
knew that Hill Burton would never re-
lax his efforts to get his views upon
Scotch cheese into print while there was
breath in his body. On the morning of
the last day of the fifteenth year he ran
into my office waving paper in his
hand and crying out, It's in, it's inP
"'What, cried l, not in The Scots
man surely?'
mo, said he, lin Chambers "Infor-
nation For the People. -
my relief of mind is not to be de-
scribed. Pearson S Weekly.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
Henry Claws Escape.

Fatalities resulting from blowing
out the gas" are generally considered as
due to rusticity and ignorance, but the
Philadelphia Record is responsible for
the statement that Henry Clay was once
in danger of his life from the same
cause.
Mayor Swift of Philadelphia and
Henry Clay were very intimate friends,
and several times during the mayor 5
administration the eminent Kentuckian
came to visit him. On one OF these &C.
casions Mr.. Clay nearly lost his life.
During the first night of Mr.. Clay's
visit the mayor noticed an unusual odor
of gas in the house, and ON investiga-
ton it was found that Mr.. Clay had re-
tired without having turned off the gas.
The new illuminating agent had been
lately introduced, and it is not improba-
BILE that Mr. Clay blew out the light III
ignorance Of the proper method of extin-
gushing it. Certain it is that had Mayor
Swift not made his timely discovery,
Mr.. Clay's brilliant career would have
been prematurely cat off.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05

The man with his coat collar turned
up and his hat pulled down over his
eyes, who was slouching along in the
shadow of the buildings, suddenly beck
oned to the man on the other side Of the
street.
Here's a graft, Bill, " he said when
the other had crossed over.
"Wot is?" asked Bill gruffly.
"This here house, replied the first
speaker. cts just like findm things
all fixed for you. Some bloomin idiot
has gone away an left his latchkey in
the door. p"
Bill took long look at the house and
then shook his head.
"You kin have it, be said. 81 don I
want nuthin to do with the game. "
"Wot's the matter?"
"The Teller wot lives here amt to be
trusted. He's low down, mean, tricky
cuss. He amt got no feelins at all.
"D'ye know him?"
"No, but was here onct before, an
I'm on to his game. He left the key just
like that before, an / thought it was
dead easy. went up an trleu 10 turn
it, an thought was bein electrocuted
sure.
"Was he watchin for your"
"Watchin nuthinl He's one of these
here electrical guys, an he just6ticks
the key in there to catch suckers, turns
a million volt battery on an goes to bed.
Wouldn't touch that key if it would LEI
me into the Bank of England. Chi
capo Post.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
Inequality In the World.

There is and there always has been
inequality in the world in spite of the
striving of generous hearts and enlight'
ened minds for equality. Although
equality has never ceased to show itself
and effect itself within the different or
ders, and in modern times to character
ize at least specifically that large com
posite order which we call good society,
civilization is still embruited and en-
dangered by inequality. One need not
allege instances They arc abdundant in
every ones experience and observation.
and those who dread OF affect TO dread
the dead level of equality are quite right
in saying that even III political de-
mocracy there is as much inequality as
anywhere. But this does not prove that
they are right i'll admiring 1t that 1t is
not offensive and stupid. Inequality still
persists, but so does theft, so does muir
der, so does unchastity, so do almost all
the sins and shames that ever were In
equality is, in fact, the sum of them.
In the body of this death they tester
and corrupt forever. As long as we have
inequality we shall have these sins and
shames, which spring from it and which
live on from inferior to superior. Few
vices live from equal TO equal, but the
virtues flourish. -" Equality as the Ba-
sis of Good Society,"" by w. ID. Howells
in Century
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05

In the English army soldier is
drnmmed to church just as he is to drill
Or dress parade.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
REHEARsEo guueT IN 4 oeMsleRY.


Tor stage Career.
Returning TO Louisville from New
York city. study was begun ON q new
plan. / had learned from Mr. Vanden-
boT Twho gave her few lessons in elo-
cution and actingl to turn my den into
a stage. Imagining one Of the walls the
auditorium, it needed bat a step farther
TO crowd the house with an enthusiastic
public, and q small audience was never
seen in that theater. Chairs Were made
TO represent the different characters, and
a bust Of Shakespeare--the Chandos, TO
my mind the finest Of all, though unfor
tunately not as authentic as the STRAIT
ford--was placed at a proper height and
converted into the leading juvenile. =
Clifford, Claude, Colmna, Were tho
parts assigned to it, but as Romeo /
imagined it looked least stony. Six
months Of solitary work was now be-
gun. Dancing and music. of which |
was paSSionately fond, were renowned
and my girlhood friends and companions
given mp. The exaggeration of youth
led mo TO believe that compile te concen-
traiion on the Que subject alone would
lead to success. The labor was particu-
larly hard. working as | did in the
dark, having no one 70 consult and no
experience TO guide me. l lmged for
help. which never came, except from
my mother. who was as ignorant as / Of
the rules of dramatic art. still we
worked ON necessarily. producing eff
fects, she criticising them to the best Of
her ability.
Often in the middle Of the night 1
would awaken her to show some new
point. Indeed / owe more 20 her con
Slant and loving interest and encourage
ment than / can ever hope 20 repay. To
get the hollow tones Of Juliet's voice in
the tomb and better realize my herome's
feelings ON awakening in her NEST Of
death, contagion and unnatural sleep, "
frequently walked to Cave Hill, Louis
villes beautiful cemetery, there to speak
her lines through the grilled door Of a
vault. Had 4 thorough schooling in the
art been possible. instead of these ran
dom and uuguided efforts, my work
would have been halved and its results
doubled Mary Anderson De Navarro
in Ladies' Home Journal.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05

According to oriental tradition the
tomb Of "Noah, the ark builder, " is in
the small town of Nakhtchevan, near
the foot Of Mount Ararat. II is said 10
be a niche in the wall of an abandoned
fortress.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
A Story About John wanamaker.

ran across my old friend Jim Bid
die of the Biddles of Philadelphia yes
terday. and we fell attacking about John
Wanamaker. Said Jim: "a good many
years ago / was clerk i'll a store i'll Chest
nut street at a salary of SO month.
One day dray was driven up to the
door, and the driver, coming into the
store, handed me an order for two bolts
of cloth. II waJ signed John Wanna
maker John was struggling beginner
then, and the house decided that it did
not know him well enough to sell him
the cloth on time, so / was instructed to
send word that we could not deliver the
goods without the money New York
Press
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
KATEs OF ADVEErIsTN.
A euNcH OF wooD soRREL

Love Is like this little flower
Fresh and smiling for an hour.
Tiucls il not, for il viii fade,
Though upon your heart 'tis laid
Leave IL looming IN the shade
Love Is like this little flower
Pair 10 see. but iuly sour,
Dropping, dying in an hour,
Though upon your heart IT'S laid.
Leave ii blooming in the shade.
New York Tribune.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
The Little Thing THAT Amused.

A noted man passed up Chestnut
street, and everybody smiled when they
glanced at him and made laughing re-
marks to each other.
The reason for their mirth lay in the
fact that he carried in full view of eV-
erybody-stuck in the front pocket OF
his overcoat-a legal document bearing
the word Mortgage" in large and con-
spicuous letters. -Philadelphi Call.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
A Painful Dilemma.

Senior Partner-What are you look
ing so glum over?
Junior Partner-Got note from my
wife that the pug is lost. Now, if ]
don't sympathize for her whole lot,
she will say / am cold blooded brute,
and if do sympathize she will suspect
that hired some. one to steal the dog
and am Just condoling with her for a
bluff. -Cincinnat Enquirer.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
Enect Of a Farce Comedy.

Johnny, called his mother, "quit
using that bad language.
"Why, replied the boy, Shakespeare
said what just did.
"Well, . replied the mother, growing
Infatuated, You should quit going with
him-he's no companion for You. -
louisville Post.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
ROARED LIKE A LION.
A COASTER CAPTAINS STORY or A
REMARKABLE WHALE.

1t Didn't ssBlow," but Its Roar Was some
thing Awhile Was Eighty Feet In
Length and Had Queer Looking Head.
Tried TO swamp the Schooner.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05

The shawls of cashmere are made be-
tween Rindustan and Tibet, from the
wool of the camel while their sheep
also produce fine white silky wool. The
whole population is engaged in prepar-
ing the thread and weaving these. ar
ticles for commerce.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1896-02-05
Too Tired to Smile
Weak, Weary and Worn
Dizziness, Impure Blood Cured BY
Hoods.

Many weak and worn-out women
know Just what this means. In totally
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24
Making Only Perfect Goods.

'Yes, said, years ago, David Maydole, the
well known hammer maker, II have made
hammers In this little village, my native
home, for 2S years" swell, then," said
the late james Parton, historian and lee
turer, shouting into the best ear of the very
deaf old gentleman, "by this time you
ought to make pretty good hammer. u
mo, can't" was the reply II cam,
make pretty good hammer. I make the
best hammer that's made. My only care Il
TO make perfect hammer. make just as
many of them as people want and no more
and sell them at fair price. II folks
don't want to pay me what they're worth
they're welcome to buy cheaper ones some
where else. My wants are few, and IH
ready at any time to go back to my black
smiths shop. That's where worked n
years ago, before thought about making
hammers. Then l had boy to blow my
bellows; now have ll5 men.
"Do you see them over there WATCHING
the hammers cook over the charcoal fur
mace, as your cook, If she knows what she'i
about, watches chops broilingi Each O
my hammers is hammered out of piece O
iron and is tempered under the inspection
OF an experienced man. Every handle 4
seasoned three years or until there Is n,
shrink left in it, Once l thought coul,
use machinery In manufacturing them
now know that a perfect tool can't b.
made by machinery, and every bit of tn
work is done by hand. I've had head car
penters think ought to make their ham
mers a little better than the ones l mad
for their men. say to 'em all, l can't max
any better ones When make thing,
make it as well as can, no matter who IT.
for. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24
KIlled BY Imsuinatiop.

The odd fact is that mans mind Il
stronger than his body, and II he decides
that the wheels shall stop at given time
they are very likely to do so. An emotion
will influence heart beat. The physical
machinery is dependent on what is going
ON in the brain.
On one occasion a condemned felon was
given In charge Of some doctors for expert
mental purposes. They blindfolded him.
bored his arm, told him they were going to
bleed him to death. made puncture in the
artery, but without drawing drop oil
blood, and then let warm water tricklt
over the flesh. The poor creature was un
der the impression that he was really bleed
ing, and while the doctors talked in whis
pers he grew faint, his heart slowed in it,
action, and after awhile he was stone dead
1t is good deal better to think you ar,
going to live than that you are going tt
die. Many IA sick man has got well because
he wanted to. The body is the veriest slav,
of our thoughts and passions, and IL yor
have notion that you are i'll the notion
will create illness. Keep cheerful and liv,
as long as you can.-Exchange.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24
SKETCHES BY M. QUAD



There were five Of us who got TO the
crossing of Kaw river at the same time.
and we found the old scow which did
duty as n ferryboat ON the far side. with
the ferryman dangling his bare feet in
the water and evidently taking things
easy.
Say, you'll" called cowboy from
our side.
"Waal, what is itp"
1--WE want to cross over"
Eyes, guess ye do"
Come on with the scow.'
az don't have TO till I cit readvr
when will you get ready?"
Cant tell. -
1t was evident that we had bumped
up against an eccentric character, and
rs no one was in a hurry we waited
patiently for him to take his time. Aft
or Is or 20 minutes he called:
"Mebbe We hahn Z heard the pewsr'
what is itYr asked the cowbov. who
had been delegated to do the talking on
our side.
1.-THE price fur gittin over used to be
a quarter, but IL has riz"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24


Twas crossing the City Hall park at 10
the other evening when q man halted
me and said:
81 was sorry to do it, but allow no
one to abuse a friend of mine. See this
bloody nose?'
Eyes. You have been fighting"
"Awfulest fight We ever heard Of,
sir, but downed him. i couldn't stand
1t TO hear him talk agin ye, sir. i"
"Who was talking against me?"
Zone o. the regular vagabonds what
hangs around here.
But I've just come over the bridge. "
81 know it. but he was talkin before
ye come. He comes up to me and SEE
Jim, if man comes along here with q
black hat and a blue overcoat on, don't
waste yer time ON him. He's one o. the
blooinin est blokes in all New York.
He wouldn't gin ye a cent if ye was
dyin of hunger. Them's the words he
said, sir. "
"And what did you say?"
why, rounds on him and SEE, seq
L: Jim, ye're way off yer feed. The
bloomin bloke. as ye calls him, is a
gentleman from the word go, with a
heart as big as a bar'l, and many a
night this winter I'd have had to lay in
the snow but for his kindness. Don't
call him no bloke. That's what said,
sir 4"
"And then JIM
"He seq that If / stands up for q
bloomin bloke I'm no better myself, and
that I'm a liar to boot. Then we en-
cages in desperate struggle, sir, and
leaves him almost lifeless out there on
Broadway. l can't forget kindness,
sir. I'd laid my Life down for ~. 4"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24
The Company known through
out the world as the
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO

Having met with the highest sue.
cess in the manufacture and sale OF
the excellent liquid laxative remedy
Syrup of Figs, it has become import.
ant to all to have knowledge of the
Company and its products. The
great value of the remedy as a medi.
cinal agent, and of the Company's
efforts, is attested by the sale OF
millions Of bottles annually and by
the high approval of most eminent
physicians.
The California Fig Syrup Co. was
organized more than twelve years
ago, for the special purpose oil
manufacturing and selling II laxative
remedy, which would be more
| pleasant TO the taste and more bene-
fetal in its effects than any other
known. In the process of manufact.
uring, figs are used, as they are
pleasant TO the taste, and hcalthfu'
in their tendencies, but the medicinal
properties of the remedy are obtained
from an excellent combination o
plants known to be incidentally lax
alive, and to act most beneficially.
II in the enjoyment of good health
and the system is regular, ther
laxative or other remedies are moi
needed. If afflicted with any actua
disease one may be commended b,
the most skillful physicians, but il
in need of laxative, then one
should have the bes. and with the
well-informed everywhere, Syrup o
/ Figs stands highest and is mos
largely used and gives most genera
| uni .fnnIin.,
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24

"Can wait here for about 30 min.
utesg" asked a man who entered the Of
flee of a factory ON Woodbridge street
the other afternoon and backed up to the
stove.
Certainly" replied the bookkeepeI
as he motioned to chair.
cts just 20 minutes to g." continued
the man as he looked at his watch and
compared it with the clock. "At 8
O'Clock shall be ready for him."
''Some one is to stop for your"
"There he is across the street. I got
into a jaw with him down at the depot,
and he slapped my face and kicked me
and followed me up here. At y O'Clock
I'll lick him out Of his boots -
The bookkeeper looked out of the
window and saw redheaded man on
the opposite walk pacing up and down
and shaking his fist at the Office
IN give him surprise party, and
don't you forget itl'' chuckled the call
or as he looked at his watch again.
HE assaulted you, did her"
HE did. He knocked me up against
wall and then booted me clear across
the street."
"And you didn't fight back?"
"No. My hours for fighting are 10 a.
m. and 8 p. m. can't get mad at any
other time. You Just wait and see how
I'll surprise that fellow out there.
II should think it would be rather
announcement to be confined to regular
fighting hours?" observed the bookkeep
or.
Eyes, it is sometimes, but on the
whole it's better all around. As it is,
know when have to fight and am pre-
pared for it, and it's just as convenient
for the other Teller to be licked at {
stated time. 1t is now five minutes Of g.
and I'm getting mad. AT 8 O'Clock III
go out of here like thunderboltP'
The bookkeeper thought he wouldn' I
and was about to tell him that he coul(
sneak out through the shop into the al
ley when the clock struck 8, and tn,
man uttered yell and opened the dool
sud made a rush across the street. Tb'
redheaded man was waiting for him.
but he had scarcely gotten his dukes mp
when he was knocked down, and in
two minutes he was licked man and
yelling for mercy.
"Didn't I tell you so?" exclaimed
the fighter as he crossed over and opened
the door. "Much obliged for your kind
ness My hours are 10 a. IN. and p. M
and the rest Of the time / attend II
business. "
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24

Autograph letters Of Sir Philip Francis
are authority for adding this to the many
famous Irish bulls" attributed to Sir
Boyle Roche.
Some ladies' went to the Irish house OF
commons to hear Il particular debate,
which happened to be put off till the next
day. Sir Boyle Roche said:
Indeed, ladies, am very sorry for your
disappointment, but why didn't you come
tomorrow"
One day the house being remarkably
quiet, Sir Boyle said; mr.. Speaker, spaks
to order. An honorable gentleman who al
ways sits behind me is perpetually laugh
ing in my facel l move that before b.
laughs at me any more he will be pleased
to tell me what he is laughing at."-
Youths Companion.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24
Didn't Want a Cuckoo.

"Have you what they call cuckoo
clock?" he asked, as he entered jewell
ry store.
Eyes, SIR" was the reply. Eyes,
have the finest cuckoo clocks in town.
That is one over there.
"What does it dor" queried the man.
81 will show you. Now, then, when
it strikes, the cuckoo will call out. Hear
that?"
"That is cuckoo, is it?'
Eyes, SIR"
Just goes Ooh. hoo! Ooh-hoop"
"That's it, sir. 4"
but what is the object?'
"Objeot! Why you get the tones Of
the cuckoo instead Of the sounds Of a
bell. Hear that!''
Eyes, it goes 'Ooh-hool Ooh-hoo I
That's the way live cuckoo goes, is it?'
"Of course. guarantee it to be per-
feot imitation. How do you like it?"
Don't get mad" said the customer,
as he looked at the clock in puzzled
way, but really can'5 understand
this thing. This is a cuckoo clock?"
"Yes, SIR"
| Wnen III strikes, the CUCKOO calls out
'Ooh-hoo Ooh-hoo y"
Eyes"
"And that's allf'
"That's all, of course. What do you
expect of cuckoo clock?"
Dunno, but my wife has called me
cuckoo SO often that ] thought il
amounted to more than this. No, I guess
l won't take one. :"
Half an hour later the man returned
with smile on his face to say:
81 made mistake about that clock. ~
"How SOP"
II said my wife was always calling
me cuckoo when things didn't go right
ut home. got it wrong. It's lulu she
calls me, and if you have lulu clock
perhaps we can make a dicker."
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24
HONOLULU, july Goth. 1898.

MEssRs. w. G. IRWIN & Co., LTD.
GENTLEMEN:-In reply to your in
quiry as to how the Ideal Roof Paint
you sold me lasted; would say that I
painted the roof of my house 10 months
ago with your Red Ideal Roof Paint,
and ! find it is as fresh and bright in ap-
pearance today as when first applied;
looking as well as others lately painted
with other paints. am more than
tisfied.
]. q. ROTHwELL.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24
]. q. ROTHwELL

Have you leaky gutter? II you
have. make it perfectly clean and dry,
apply a good coat of No. 3 P. and Is.
Paint over the leaky spots; then take a
piece of stout Manila paper, or piec Q
OF common cotton cloth, paint it well On
both sides; lay it over the first coat, CIV
ing the whole final coat, and there
will be no more leak there. Or IL the
whole gutter is bad, make it clean and
dry, and apply paste of P. &SlB. Paint
and Portland Cement
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24

The building papers are I, 9, 8, and 4
ply. They come in rolls, each roll con-
tanning 1000 square feet. They are
water proof, acid and alkali proof and
vermin proof. A house lined with build
ing paper is far cooler than one that is
not. There is also cheaper grade of
paper adapted for use under mating
keeping out insects.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1896-03-24

Splazley-Isn't Longreen, the mil
lionaire. hard to approach?
Jazblin-Yes. 1t always struck me he
had sort Of gold reserve about him. =
SomerYille Journal.