Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-07-23

In August of second place honors We
At the end we take what comes our
i way. ftff"
i Philadelphia North American.
''IIow did young Downey come by the
title OF major?' "Why, easily enough.
Don't you remember that his either
was colonel?"-Judge.
'sThcy say the bicycle Is injuring art
"Yes; the man who owns a good wheel
can't waste his life spreading paint ON
canvas."-Chicago Recordx
Maude-would you nary Freddy II
lie asked you to? Bella (airlly)-l can
only answer that by saying that he
wouldn't be single now weretl 80 fool
ish.
Ball onew yelled the umpirs. ftiood
eye!" shouted Cblmmy. Strike lonew
the umpire called. sDats This odds-
eye," explained Chimny.-Indianap6lis
Journal. 20
Mabel understand that there were
only square dances at Mrs. Flippit's
small and early. Maud-Yes; there
wasn't men enough to so round
Judge.
Mrs. Wiggles-Was that a good box
cigars, Ephraim, that bought for your
birthday? MIR. Wiggles (craftily)-I
never saw better bOx.-SOmervills
Journal. H.tE
Spencer-They told me at your office
that you were only one of the clerks.
And you said you were director Fer
guson-So / am. address envelopes
New York Herald.
awful accident at Jones' yesterday"
$50? l didn't hear of IT. Jones hit
his thumb with the hammer and imme-
diately exploded with rage, while his
wife burst into tears."-Indianapoli
Journal.
Bill the Biffer-What's d. object OF
dis organization Nv yours, mister? Mis-
sion Worker-To rescue the fallen, my
man. Bill the Biffer-Well, don't talk
ter me. I'm no bicyclist-Roxbury
Gazette.
Frederick" said she. "don't let the
balls stand alone" why, she's old
enough to learn to walk" r"Old enough
to learn to walk! Why, she hasn't even
learned to ride bicycle yet."-Wash-
ington Star.
There is no use denying it," said the
young man, who uses slang indiscrim-
inately. "Cholly Chuggins has wheels
"Rcally?" said the girl from Boston.
what make are theyT-Indianapolis
Journal. r. t
Miss Prettie-Mr. Ryder Is so enter
| tanning! He seems to have come In
contact with SO many people. Mr..
Wheeler (viclously)-Yes, indeed. You
should watch him on his bike.-New
York Press.
Il beg your pardonv' she exclaimed
solicitously. Il didn't mean TO step on
your foot" lord bless you, MISS" re-
turned the man in the blue drilling
blouse, II didn't know you did."-Som-
erville Journal.
Il understand you stood for a whole
hour in the doorway last night talking
to the policeman, Katie?" "Shure, you
wouldn't have me sthand there for an
hour and say nothin, ma'am."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
"Her husband is little bit wild.
hear" "Well, think lac had right to
be, when he came home and found she
had traded off his last summer suit for
a lot of ported flowers, don't your
Indianapolis Journal.
II shall have to give up going on the
stage" "Why SOP" my hair is COM
ing out in handfuls." 81 don't see
what Pretty soon my trainer
will be unable to drag me about the
fioor."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-And did you call at Monte Carlo
while you were at Nice? She-No; papa
called on him, believe, but from. his
disappointed appearance when he re-
turned to the hotel, think Mr.. Carlo
must have been out.-Public Opinion.
Elsie-The report you heard about
Edith's engagement must be true.
heard 1t from number OF persons.
Ruth-From whom? iea7Iyell, Miss
Brown, Miss Jones, and Miss Robinson.
Ruth-Oh,. ! tolGtiem. Brooklyn Life.
| "IIow the wind bowls to-nightw said
the melancholy boarder. II shouldn't
wonder IL it had the toothache.' sug-
gcsted Mr.. Asbury Peppers. Tooth
| acne! les. hive you never ucaru
OF the teeth Of the galew-Cincinnat
Enquirer.
Slowman-There Is one thing feel
glad of. All the love letters / ever
wrote to the widow are destroyed.
Fligh-Are you quite sure of that?
Slowman-Quite. You see, I,nexer had
the courage to, send them to her.--New
| York Herald.
A mother, trying to get her little
daughter of Q years old to sleep ono
night, said: Dora, why don't you try
to goito sleepT' lam trying" she re
Piled. -"Hut you haven't shur Jour
eyes, SWELL. can't help 1t: dey comes
buttoned."-Answers.
"May be at liberty to quote you
as indorsing the sentiment that tho
voice of the people is the voice OF GodY.
asked the interviewer IL would not
like to commit myself to that senti-
ment until after the convention" an
.swcged the candidate.-In snapolis
Journal. rfts %ts4I