Delaware gazette and state journal., 1896-04-30
ErERIyG ECnoEs.


Wife, What sort of story is this
you are trying to tell me? Husband
fleet (hic) shtory, m'dear. Detroit
Tribune.
"Welk did the new Juliet mako a
hit. " Yes, she pulled the balcony
over on Romeo and nearly killed him. I"
Exchange.
He-I wish it were true that all the
world loves lover. She-Mhy? He
Because you're all the world to mo. -
Chicago Record.
She has heart Of gold." "That
settles my chances, then. Some Eng.
lishman will annex her, sure. Gin
cinnati Enquirer
Author-only one thing kept IN, last
novel from making sensation Friend
What was thatY Author - No ono
read it, Answers.
Sibyl-When Steve proposed to me no
acted like fish out Of water. Maudo
Why shouldn't he2 He knew he was
caught. Answers.
Mother-Jessie, did hear Arthur
proposing to you last night? Jessie
don't think you did, mother; Arthur
talks awfully low. up to Date,
Mrs. Roal--I think, Mr.. Pen, that
tho fiction writer's are 30 different
from other writers; they are so unique.
Mr.. Pen-Certainly they are novel
men. To Date.
She-Theatrieal people all say that
tho best judges of q piece are in tho
gallery. He--Hes; | believe that is
where the eggs always come from. -
Yonkers Statesman.
She-We've boon married four
months, dear, aud | haven't given you
a chance to try my cooking yet. lle--
Why, lovo, you're not getting tired Of
me already, are youy-Yonkers States
man.
Pocket TASKS? Yes, sir Here il a
very nice little affair; holds half d
pint half pintY BY gad,
to a toy stoah, sab - = Baltimore
Herald.
Sho-Did she throw out any induce
mont for you to call again? He--Oh,
yes; she said her father had refused TO
pay tho gas bill and the company was
going to tako out the meter Yonkers
Statesman.
II think that actors ought to have
real food at banquets on tho stage, Z"
said Roberta Possibly il they had
they wouldn't chew their lines and
swallow their periods 80 often. liar
per's Bazaar.
Tramps always seem to be healthy
men," replied Mrs. Snaggs. "Why
not?'' asked Mr.. Snaggs. Don't tho
physicians always speak highly of a
change of scenef"-Pittsburg Chron-
icle-Telegraph.
He-Which do you think is the moro
healthful exercise, horseback or bicycle
riding? She--Oh, bicycle, by all
means. just think how much shorter
the distance is you have to fall !-Yon-
kers Statesman.
You have fine horse there, Single
ton. Must have cost a pretty pennyY''
| Yes; he's Kentucky thoroughbred
but he has ono great fault. " What
iH itg'p - lie won't tako water. DE
troit Free Press.
. can teach you law, sir, but can
not teach you manners" said an eXas-
perated counsel to a small meek wit
ness. Tho latter replied quietly.
That is 80, sir" and people laughed
consumedly. ----Pittsburg Dispatch.
First Author No, | never had Il
manuscript sent back in my life. Sec
ond Author slsepticalIy) are to
be congratulated. First Author /
think deserve it for not suuandoring
return postage. Sparta Herald Adver-
tiser.
Buffalo Barber (who has Just shaved
Peter Maherj lis the towel too hot for
you, sir? Maher- Not at all. I'm used
to roasts, you know. tlf Peter's fight
ing qualities WIRE rs good as his wit,
history would have been changed. -
Buffalo Times.
| admit that Rogers is a meek little
follow, but he is not the kind of man
! should like TO moet live milos from
home on dark night " Pshaw
Why not?" "IIe would insist upon
you accompanying him home for pro-
lection. Detroit Free Press.
Tho Mason s. Davis Co., stove and
range manufacturers OF Chicago, made