Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-04-02
FUN WHILE WAITING.
4 MYSTERIOUS FAT GERMAN a. 4
NEW YORK FERRYHouse.

\ MYSTERIOUS FAT GERMAN N 4
NEW YORK FERRyHouse.
H seemed "a Bs Sleepy. Yet Hs Provided
E-nssrtaiamsns % Those Present unt,,
b Dsas Arrived. and Then He went
Absard and Disappeared.
. He WA . tat German. He looked a
II he might be . prosperous saloon KEEN
er. He signalised his entrance into the
Cortlandt Street ferry house by a series
of. loud meows which sounded 10 natural
that the halt hundred people who were
waiting Tor the boat looked around for
the cats. The fat man was under the
weather. He strolled over to the steam
radiator In the center Of the room. and
in . couple Of minutes voices were
heard. First they were in the northeast
corner OF the room up near the ceiling.
Some one up there seemed to be carrying
on an animated conversation with him.
self. 1t was plain that the some one was
o German.
"Chakey." said the voice, "vod your
wife will say do You alretty. ha? You
O one tam fool k'vick yet"
The women in the ferryhouse began to
look nervous. They gazed at the ceiling
at the spot from where the voice seem.
ed to come. The men were looking there
too. The fat German stood by the radi-
ator, his head over his breast. and SEEM
ed to be sound asleep.
Fire! Fret Fret" cried a voice in
the southwest corner.
Everybody jumped up. The women
grabbed the arms OF their escorts. The
fat German still slept, and the voice
sounded again. this time seemingly from
the platform OF An automatic weighing
machine
"Chakey, you vos a prute! Vod for
you wand der ladies do SCARE vod? I
bunch your nose alretty."
This was somewhat r~eassuring. Ev-
erybody seemed to realize at the same
instant that there was q ventriloouist
with . big range Of voice around some
where, and everybody looked at the
German. He seemed still to be asleep.
But in q moment he moved ~uneasily.
Then he lifted the ragged stump of a
cigar he had in his hand, opened his
eyes sleepi1y and put the stump into
his mouth. Some fire was left in the
cigar stump, but he didn't seem to no.
tice it. He munched on the butt as IL it
were q sweet morsel. Everybody was
watching him. He chewed perhaps .
minute. Then he swallowed the stump.
and tho next instant pulled q new cigar
out Of his ear, bit of the end and light
ed it.
II no ra5 cigars" he said. II maig
DEM"
The crowd was nightly interested
and gathered close around. He didn't
seem to like that. and he snorted:
"Vod you dink, You vools beoble?
Cause I maig q cigar you dink I vos a
WOOL Iunmaig i'd" Saying which he
put the fresh cigar, lighted as it was.
back into his ear. He seemed to shove
it out of sight and calmly took from his
other ear the ragged butt that he had
but q moment before chewed up and
swallowed Ho pulled On II. It was still
lighted. One Of his eyelids began
twitching.
my lug vos gone" he said. ~ haff
nails in my head ven vools loog ad me.
With the tips Of his fingers he lifted
the twitching lid and pulled ont q five
inch iron spike, like those used t Ofasten
down steel rails.
II ros durn do one BEIGE OF iron al
retty il you boobies dond ka'vit," he
snorted, and he pulled another spike
from the other eye. At the same instant
the ragged butt disappeared. and in its
place VAS another fresh cigar. He lit
that. Next he pulled a couple u6 yards
Of muslin cut Of his mouth and wiped
his eyea, after which he put back the
epikeA He,seemed to drive them right
into tho ball Of either eye. The women
were shocked and turned away. He
pulled q whisky glass from his pocket,
bit pieces onto it and chewed them
with relish.
"Chentleenens." be said, ~ voE 'un-
cry. Cand you !hellub meY"
Thought It vas q fake like that,"
0UAO WV ~ N&DOo VI V4O 0S00S ~ &00
crowd.
"Well, tie . cold day when be gets
any Of my money" said two or three
others
Money! grewled the fat German.
"You dink I am lige you WOOL boobies
vod cad mead mid ! VOC nod. I cad
babar dod vos cheaber. Will somepoddy
helb q boor man do q biece OF baber2
Zi6 me dod," he said, snatching an
evening paper from the hands Of one Of
the men. He tore two pages from it. and
beginsing On tho corner Of one he stuffed
1t into his mouth and ate it. At least 1t
disappeared. Then be tackled the other
page. mad that went.
Poor man." said enc sympathetic
woman. ''he must b hungry. But how
can he eet that stuff"
The second page was gone. all but .
little CORNER. The fat Germans cheek
lbulged. Avoice oven his head said:
"Chakey. you've god doc much; you
VOC a hog"
He seised tho corner Of the paper that
wan sticking ont and began pulling at
it & came in the shape Of a perfect
cone, alternately red, white and blue in
OOlor- Ha halA h{a head hAck and mill.