The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1896-12-26
@nENIZ
DyBfE
De song birds, dey hab lef de Ian;
We doan' know whah dey's at;
But de eagle is a screamin' an

But de eagle is a screamin' an
De turkeys gittin' fat.
Washington Star.
What is the average life of a good
bicycle, Sprockets:' We'll, some OF
them last until they are paid for
Chicago Record. -
Scienticus-"Let ME see. what is the
name of the instrument that records the
pugilist's blow" JollicuS-'I guess
you mean phonograph."-Puck.
Folks dat is allus looiiin' foh trou-
BILE said Uncle Eben. "hab jes' one
ting ter brag erbout. Dcy doan' hard
ly cher git OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Star.
Teddy-"I tell you it's So" Nellie
Il say it is not Tcddy-''Well, NAM
ma says it's so; and if ANN says it's
SO. it's so, even if it isn't sO.'--Harpers
Round Table.
"Gentlemen,' said the orator. this
crisis will soon be at an end THANK
heaven murmured an auditor: hes
going to stop NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
North American.
Mr.. H~ojack-"Miss Tenspot must be
VI liSSlhSls bttttilu. -Hi-
Indeed! What makes you think so?'
'She looks we'll even IN an amateur
photograph.'-Life.
do you suppose the telephone will
ever replace the ~telcgraph?' 1t may,
but no matter what happens. it's safe
to say the telephone will have the
call.'-RoXbury Gazette.
Teacher-"Anything is called trans
parent tina can be seen through. What
scholar can give an example, Bobby
DE hole in de fence round de base
ball park."-Norristown Herald.
Il wonder why it is that young girls
like to marry widowcrs:' 1T is be-
cause they know that widOwers ave
been cured of their foolish illusions
about women."-Chicago Record.
Mrs. Mamma-If Lord Forgivus asks
you to marry him, tell him to speak to
me. Ethel-Yes. mamma-but If he
doesn't? Mrs. Mamma-Then tell him
that l want to speak to him.-Truth.
Farmers Wifc-"I hope you are not
afraid of work." Tramp (uneasilyC
Il amt exactly afraid, num-; but al
ways feels tidgety when there's any
thing like that out.'-Boston Trav-
eler.
The Financce-"Tm surprised at you!
saw o flirting with her!' The
Fiance-"I swear, Priscilla, you are
mistaken! Beauty has no charms
never had any charms-for me!-
Puck.
Say, Weary, wot are you walkin
round in yere bare foOts fer?" Pm
tryin' dis yer new Kneipp cure" "Wot
fer, Weary:" "'CauSe some dinblast-
ed snoozer stole me shoes!'-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Il am sorry l bought one {. those
dOOrmats with Welcome on it," why
so:" Some stupid fellow mistoOk the
meaningof the word and helped himself
TO it the first night."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
'"There are no jokes like the old jokes"
, Said the humorist blithe and gay.
"And the jokes that now find favor
Pleased the folks Of another day"
. Philadelphia North American.
"What a superb touch that pianist
!! has," she gushed. Il should say he
l. had replied her matter-of-fact escort
Il understand old Skinflint has given
I'D $500 to have him here this evening"
s New York Press.
: Mr.. summer Borde-Mr.. Ckantfayre
e don't they say man should learn wis
dom from the ant? Mrs. Skantfayre-
t Yes; don't you think he should? Mr.
il Summer Borde-No; a blindfolded maj
l wouldn't walk into butter like that
- Puck.
Nell-"Miss Bjones uses Frencl
phrases in the most peculiar manner.
i, Rell-"Does she:" Nell-'Yes, indeed
4 Why, at breakfast yesterday l aske
4 her how she liked her eggs and 81
said they were very chick."-Philade
phia Record. ,,t
= maria, hurry, for heavens sake! TIL
1t whole back part Of the house is gOn
and the roof is blazing right over m
room! You haven't Il second to lose!
How unreasonable you are, John!
i haven't my ~overgaiters buttOned yet!
g Chicago Tribune.
Misunderstanding a l introduce
~ you to awhile ago is one of the mos
-, noted hunters in the country. Birmin:
- ham-I wouldn't have thought it frol
~ his conversation. Manchester-It
-. true, nevertheless. He is a forum
=. Misunderstanding Chronicle.
Voice at the Telephone-Major, wi
you please bring your family and TAX
supper with us neXt Sunday? SeryaI
~ Girl (replies back through telephone)
10 Master II mistress are L~t in at pre-
ent; but they can't come to supper, {
p it's my Sunday out.-Boston Globe.
lis VIVA is the ~complainant's reput
ton for truth n veracity?" asked II
lawyer. "It is generally good, l think
- answered the witness, though in te
ing about the size of the snakes he h,