The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-04-27
P. GREEN AND THE CHOIR
HE TELLS ALL ABOUT THAT CALL
FoRNIA TRIP.
The Sights of 'Frisco-Chiratown
and Its Curiosities-How They
Make Money-The Art of Missing
Trains-"Cheer Up, Cherries Are
Ripe"

Cheer up, cherries are ripe!' This
was the talisman that saved my NE
and assisted my digestion on the tall
est and widest good time I've had in
thousand years, the trip of the Taber-
nacle choir, or more properly speaking,
the California chorus. Before starting,
lost my grip On 81 which L had TO
give up for a pie and a chicken ana
a jar Of jelly whose color reminded
me of Aurora, when at the break Oh
day, she tips the eastern horizon. II L
get mytholl ~ and jam mixed up IN
this affidavit you VIII please excuse me,
for I have been distraught Chats
good world with contending emotions
and other forms OF dissipation until L
am a mental wreck. With these Few
things ADDED 10 some preserved and
bottled fruit and a couple Of yeast
powder cans full of something else,
together with salt and pepper and but
ter and sugar and hardboiled eggs and
cheese ana knife, fork, plate and
spoon and tin cup which l inherited
from my mothers ancestral hairs, L
was ready to enjoy myself to the
queens taste" as the saying goes. L
am not informed at present writing
what brand of jam the queen is using,
but if it is the same as mine you can
tell her for me that you saw me.
When Professor Stephens, the bald
headed man who doesn't do thing
but pound the ambient air with bit
of carriage spoke. and who turns his
back on the saint and sinner alike,
nut the callipers on my voice 1t was
found to be a trif1e too robust for my
head, and the only way TO TX 1t was
either to fill up the interstices in my
head or send the voice back to the
lathe to be turned down. There was
a close and hotly contested vote, but
the turning lathe finally got it; it was
turned down, and 1 lined" the
chorus just in time to be in at the
picnic-a trick 1 learned in my youth
when / went to Sunday school, and
there never was picnic but L was in
it Well, when Horace Greeley found
he couldn't get rid of me he gave me
a small terra Gotta ticket with "readln
and ritin' onto it, which entitled me
to a bunk for one in sky parlor NO.
z, car one, contento, Pullman 41144.
Denver & Rio Grande railway and
Southern Pacific railway, with two
holes, heart shaped, on the left
shoulder and under cut on right ear
as you go down the street. With this
and my lunch basket | boarded the
train with many misgivings as to
whether or not l had brought along
enough lunch for the one day 1 should
have to board and clothe myself. And
the porter on our car put me to bed;
and the morning and the evening was
the first day and the next day it
showed. But the snow was not the
worst feature. for many of the party
began to feel seasick-just as if you
had swallowed your seidlitZ powder
tandem instead of ''hoss and boss. /
went through the train dispensing
cheers and headache powder right and
left, and succs eded in binding up the
wounds. so to speak, of many a heart
with sorrow laden and then every
body began to eat. And the ham
sandwich and the hardboiled egg, and
the chicken which was created before
it, and all things like the lamb and
the lion, were laid down together and
disappeared into the great nowhere Of
Karma- And we went up the hill and
We went down the hill--that which
was predicted before we started on the
journey-and as we went UP it was
showing merrily. and as we went down
we were in the land Of fruit and
flowers, even the sunny land of Cali
fornia; and we ate dinner at Sacrament
to- but as We were late in reaching the
lining room the soup was cold as the
heart Of a miser and the potatoes had
tears in their eyes. 1t was sad enough
to make the roast beef turn over in its
gravy Well, we soon busted out of
Sacramento and in due time reached
Oakland, where the first concert was 10
be given. We began to attract uni
versal attention here, many of Oak
lands four hundred having come down
to see the Mormons and their wives
but it was a cold Mormon who took his
wife along as this was intended as a
pleasure trip. SO we grabbed our
bundles and went up to the church to
practice, filing into our seats so as to
30 the thing gracefully and not walk
On each others heels with our big
feet. We didn't lose much time about
this for we were athirst and did hun
ger and were as empty as a new tin
can, and the captains of our cars led
US up to the Galindo hotel where we
beheld a sight to charm not only the
sense of sight but of smell and taste
as well. To give Us welcome and make !
us feel at home, the house was decor
ated from stem TO stern with green
boughs taken from the eucalyptus /
trees, and piled, draped and festooned /
in every conceivable shape in every
nook and corner The tables were /,
piled with flowers as we'll as with good I
things to eat and at the end of the 4
banquet the ladies were presented with /
the flowers, which they took along TO /
wear at the concert. And as a gentle |
man remarked. Il be gol burned if |
they don't look purifier than red /
wagon when they stood up to sing. |
And great Susan, how they did sing. /
III warrant you that never before I
such a burst of harmony went out /
through the shingles of that roof and /
onward towards heaven. The auditors /
appreciated it, TOO, and every song
had to be done again and an extra /
number added at the end. And we
traipsed back to our hunks and lunch /
baskets; and the morning and the /
evening was Tuesday which was the [
second day reckoning from Monday,
and 1 went to bed, having previously
asked the Lord to bless all the good
people except the man who shores in !
our car. Next morning ! was up be-
times, whatever that is, and ready to
follow the crowd on to victory and [
breakfast. 1 seemed. however, to run
more to appetite and less to patriotism
at that particular period of my career, /
and so [ was taken over on a large
boat from Oakland to San Francisco
where ] was fed and watered at Viii
sons restaurant along with number
of others afflicted in similar nIa1s1ser.
After this / scattered myself pretty
generally all over town seeing the
sights and being seen by others who
evidently enjoyed seeing me. L then
went and had my hair cut, and my
hat blocked down to suit the new state
of affairs. After that they could not
fell I was = Mormon excenf xrhan 7