Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1896-05-06
The proposed Electric road Again.
A SAXToNs RIVER CITIZEN.

The proposed Electric road Again.
Mr.. EDITER-
The man what writ fer yoor paper last
weak and sined hisself Saxton's River
Citizen must hev studdyed only Jest the
roodements in rithmeticks. Eff he he'd
studdyed than HER an moar deaper
mathamaticks like Algeebray an Geeomme-
terey sech es thay teeched when / was
scoolmarm, he wood be abel ter sea at onct
tibet his conclooshuns sho tibet they es
drawed frum the idees what he red in a
small sised mentel rithmatick.
He haint only jest fggered what folkses
is payin fur DRAWN thayr things and thayr-
sells too and back frum the Falls an his
he'd amt big ernuf ter fgger out how much
moar folkses an things THAR will bee ter
bee drawed when we git the lectric kars
runnin, or else he dassent figger it. Eff
he will Jest read in sum NV than bigger
books bout high mathematics what thay
keap up at the Cademy he mite larn, ct he
hes sence enut, tibet squares an sech things
is increased acordin, an in proporshun ter
the square NV THAR sides.
Ter jest illustrayt it SO he can sea it eff
he wants ter, let him take a peace Nv the
Times Jest a futt square an then a other
peace Jest too feat square an he will sea
tibet the big peace is Jest fore times es big es
the leetle wun. Now eff he will allow his
self ter fgger on thay square way es evry-
buddy what wants ter help the lectrick
shood do, an them what knose sunthin is
doin he mus sea how he has maid big
erroy.
Now in the fust phase he ses THAR wood
be fore times es many folkses ride on the
lectricks es rides on the stages; so on his
fggers, what than tibet knose NOSE about
lectricks ses amt enuf, he ken sea tibet jest
by squarin ct he es gettin Jest sixteen times
es much fur ridin on the lectricks es thay
be fur ridin on the stages what makes fur
ridin, alone, jest 1924 900 insted Nv $4,000
es he has fggered ct. Then Mr.. Editer,
let him fgger fer hisself what thay other
things is all goin ter ermount ter on thay
square baces he will sea tibet he hes de-
seaved hisself err els he hes ben tryin ter
diseave other folkses, and speshuly the
wimmin.
When he tells the wimmin what haint
askt his advice not ter poot no mummy inter
the lectric rode, | es smart enuf ter sea tn t
he wants ter by up all the shairs hisse f.
Then he doant fgger tibet all Nv our bid n
lots what es now vacated will be cuvered
with Mise bildins becos all them what works
on the lectrics, the wuns what terms the
cranks on the irunt to make EN- go, an than
iellers what stan on the hind end an pu Is
tolkses on ter the kars an throse EN- Of All
Heaps sam its fare, them an THAR iamlya S
hey gut ter hev howses ter liv in, an thay
will want ter ride on the lectricks ter Il e
Falls ter by THAR Singer an shuse etc, an
the bisnes men an strar keepers viii want
ter ride NOSE all the time sost to hev SUI =
thin ter do
An then evrybuddy what is maxim patient
medisin will want ter poot add, es thay
call ct, in Their lectricks fur evrybuddy ter
read, an | estermait THAR will bee er big
proflitt THAR, tibet he KEEP hisselt from tellin
NV. An then sumbuddy wood hev chanse
ter sci the lectrick rode a lot NV white
wash er sunthin NV Their sort ter poot on
thay poles, an thay wood want er lot NV
shuvels ter keap Their mud of Their traks
in the summer time, an sno shuvels in the
winter, an thay wood hev ter hiar lots NV
men what air now settin roun the post
offs, what Mr.. Clevlan doant want than
doin, an Jest talkin bout bosses and bace
bawl and sech, goin ter aucshuns and byin
sunthn THAR wimmn doant want. So cant
he sea tibet thay will hev lots NV mummy ter
spen ter ride on the lectricks.
An then Mr.. Editer he haint took inter
considerin nothin bout them other men
hear what es SO ankshus ter hev lectrlc
rode so thay ken do the kommunitty an
evrybuddy lots NV good by sellin the lee
trick rode THAR water poower ter maik
thayr lectrisity, an water THAR stalks with.
An than saim men will spen sum NV tibet
mummy ter ride on the lectricks eff thay
kant git karried free. An tasty, doant he
tel us, Jest so as we wood talk stalk in ct,
that the lectricks will skair the bosses.
Now / wunder ct he maiks hisself belief
enybuddy KANT sea tibet he is tryin to
scair all NV us wimmin so we will sci over
bosses of ter the lectrick rode fer moast
nothin an thay ken use um ter draw the
lectricks with when the water is low, or
when thay want ter use it ter water thayr
stalk with An then in the winter thay
ken use UNI, the bosses | meen, ter pull
the lectricks threw the snowdrifts.
An then yer sea he knose tibet eff we
halnt got no HOSSeS We VIII ali ueN leT Tluc
on the lectricks. Now | Jest want ter
advise, an say ter all thay wimmin what
ken borry sum mummy from thays frens
an relashuns what they doant kare nuthin
bout ter Jest by all the stalk thay ken git
in the lectrick rode, then we ken hev
intres big enuf ter controle the lectricks
so Mr.. Citizen kant water than only when
we want more mummy ter spen.
A OLE WINNER.