St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1896-12-05

He Dida't Know where to Sleep.
Talkin about Billy Trammel = that
puts me in mind of another wandercr
returned back home. Squire Riley
Norton got back one day last week from
his long summer trip to some big sui
phur spring somewheres over there in
the mountains Of Georgy and fcnnes-
see.
When the squire left home he was .
poor lonesome widdower and wearin
of the weeds to beat six bits. But it
would seem like he met up with gay
and gorgeous wilder over there at the
big spring. and both Of them bein moro
than willin, it didn't take very long for
them to work out the little sum where
in you add up two together and only git
one for the answer.
To be short and plain about it, the
squire and the wilder they pitched in,
they did. and went and got married.
And then the most strangest part Of tho
business comes in. Dadblame it, they
didn't stay married. The very next
day the squire put in his papers for a
general enforcement and soon got the
knot united on the grounds of domes-
tic incompatibility and false pretenscs,
or words to that extent.
Il reckon l mought as we'll own up
u it, RUFF" says the squire. shat wild
der was one too many for me. For
Why: Well. she was false. Rufe-the
most falsext woman I have ever saw
I knowed she had false teeth, but that
want nothin. When I retired to tile
brida; departments that night. reckon
maybe the wilder had went to bed.
couldn't say for certain about that. But
there was ! full set OF false teeth, q
thunderin big role Of false hair. a cork
leg and one glass eye layin there on
the table. reckon maybe acted like :,
durn fool. 1 know felt like one.
didn't know for certain where to sleer
whether to 60 to bed or git on the
table. Consequentially | didn't 60 II
sleep anywheres that night. and the
next day l put in my papers for divorce
ment. All the facts and the eviden-c
was on my side, and l soon put the
wilder away on the general charge u
false pretenses."
A Simple Explanation.
The politicians have been oratin and
<2eechifyin SO frequent and promls.
Gus among the boys here lately till
blamed il the ground amt wore smooth
and slick for miles around. Gold Ol
silver, which? is still the mainest ques.
ton.
To hear one side you would think TIRE
country is goin to demnition, destruc
ton aud ruination If we ever have frse
silver. and then If you listen to the othc,
side they will show forth facts and Fl Z.
gers to prove that nothin but free 81.
YER can save the country and recover
the people. Somebody is right and
somebody is wrong. But as yet it amt
for me to say for certain which il
which.
The general confusionment in re.
CARDS to gold and silver puts me in mild
Of the riddle which Andy Lucas give
Elev Scroggins oncst upon . time. Al!
three of us was nothin more than
chunks of boys then. and goin Ia
school togethef over at the cross roads
Andy and Blev they had got into !,
mighty way Of sayin riddles to one
another. It was nip and tuck rs -
which could turn the other down Will,
a new riddle. Comm along home fror,
school one cvenin AalY hit Blew with
q new one. and il was 4 Hummer.
''There is $: lady over 10 our house.
says Andy. (which she. is my mothers
sister. but she amt my aunt. How i
that. Blev?".: ~
Well. Blew he couldna .eut through
and had to give it up, though Andy give
him till next mornin to Yqrk the sum il
Ire could. J.
So Blew he went home and told his
fsther. old man Jerry Scroggins. about
it and called for help. Naturally. 81
course. the Old Nlls couldn't See
through the riddle and it pestered him
powerful. He scratched his head
and racked and ransacked his brain till
bed time. but he couldn't git the an.
swer. And then when he went to bed
he couldn't go to sleep for thinkin about
Andy Lucas and the riddle. He rolled
and he tumbled till way along toward.
midnight without 4 lick OF sleer and
he couldn't stand it no longer. He ii1
up and went out and saddled his horse
and rid over to old man Hiram Lucases
which Andy at that time was q hah
orphant and him and his mother was
Twin there with his grandfather-and
hollered him up and called him out &c
the front gate.
Old man Hiram he come out snortin
and cussin about his neighbors calm
him at such a 'hellatious'' late hour,
and consequentially Jerry Scroggirs
went on to the maincst question.
THAT boy Andy give my boy Blew .
riddle this evenin which he can't work
4 and can't work IT," says he. "And
what is more couldn' sleepfor thinkiu
about it and SO / have come over here
to git the facts. Andy told Blew that
there was lady here which was hi.
own mothers sister, but she want his
aunt. Now 1 want to know how to &.
plain that?'
''Why, Jerry. that's as clear as glass
and easy as fallin OF a wet log, saws old
man Hiram. ANY simlin-headed idiot
ought to see through that"
Tell me how it is then" says Jerry,
80 can go on back home and rest in
peace and go to Sleep"
"Well, jerry" says old man Hiram,
you see that boy Andy Jest simply told
your boy Blew . dadblame lie"
Thue after hearin various and sundry
remarks on both sides of the money
question am bound to think that some
me has told . little white one about IL,
RUFUS sANDERS.
Mamma (entering room)-Waldo. I
hope you and Robert Browning have
1ot been quarreling?
Waldo-Not at all, mamma. We have
merely been discussing the practicable
ty of international bimetallism.-
Brooklyn Life.
A Sorrows Grown ~ EoFrow.
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