davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

In Europe, Asia, Africa, Austria
liza and America, the five great con-
tinents, Shaker medicines are being
used by suffering humanity for the
cure Of sickness and disease.
Never was there such universal
demand never such wonderful re-
suits.
Shaker Digestive Cordial, cure
for indigestion, is prepared from
herbs and roots, and is natural
remedy, which cures by aiding ma
ture and not by fighting her.
Shaker Digestive Cordial makes
those fat, who have become thin by
not digesting their food.
It restores the spirits and the ap-
petite Of those who are detected and
tagged out from the wearing effects
of indigestion.
1t relieves the symptoms of dys-
pepsia, and, after using it for lea-
sonable time, fually cures the com
plant.
Sold by druggists. Trial bottle
10 cents.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
BANS Horn Blssfa-


The ideal wife seldom becomes
real one.
Love seldom attains Tue siscerety
of hate.
Politics is the science Of tile at
tainable.
Every man is failure at some
thing.
One can be smart eDly with smart
people.
Each generation lives in differ
ent world.
Il requires good deal Of faith to
doubt
Better that the feet slip Than the
tongue
Poverty is The raw material Of an
archy.
TIE world owes no mac more than
one living.
The hand of wrath is frequently
cliuched fist.
Every man has more than he
needs of something.
Few people count the cost until
they have paid it.
Some people are always wanting
two twos for one.
A lie that is half truth is ever
the blacklist of lies.
To some men a bad reputation is
better than more.
The sure way to miss success is
to miss the opportunity.
Cowardice keeps about as many
people in line as courage.
Wine unlocks the door and then
throws away the key.
A good husband is sometimes
spoiled in the making.
Our failings serve to brighten the
lives OF our neighbors.
No man is a success at everything
or a failure at everything.
Conscience makes towards Of
some and busybodies of Others.
Prejudices are often simply opin-
ions which have been tested.
Honesty first, next to that comes
wisdom, after that comes politeness.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
Sleep ON Left Side.


Many persons are unable to sleep
on their left side. The cause has
long been a puzzle to physicians.
Metropolitan papers speak with great
interest of DR.. Franklin Miles, the
eminent Indiana specialist in nervous
and heart diseases, who has proven
that this habit arises from a diseased
heart. He has examined and kept
on record thousands of cases. His
New Heart Cure wonderful remedy
is sold at A. M. Gilbert's. Thous-
ands testify to it's value as cure for
Heart Diseases. Mrs. Charles Be-
noy, Love'ao, Col, says its effects
on her were marvellous. Elegant
book on heart disease free.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
Now Try This.

1t will cost you not ing and will
surely do you good, you have a
Cough or Cold, or any lrouble with
Throat, Chest or Lungs. DIR. Kings
New Discover for Consumption.
Coughs and Colds is guaranteed to
give relief, or money will bepaid back,
Sufferers from La Grippe found it
just the thing and under its use had
a speedy aud perfect recovery. Try
sample bottle at our expense and
learn for yourself just how good a
thing it is. Trial bottles free at L..
G. Matthaei's Drug Store Large
size Soc. and 81.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
When Shall She Wed.

A January husband will love no
one but you.
A February husband will be blest
with shekels few.
A husband wed in March storms
something like march winds.
An April husband quite change.
able you'll find.
A husband wed in May is hand.
some but not wise.
A husband wed in June is bound
in fame TO rise.
A July husbands gift is more of
wealth than sense.
An August's husbands knowledge
is something quite immense.
September's groom brings happi-
ness without alloys.
A husband wed in October will be
cheerful, happy and glad.
A November husbands love grows
somstimes rather cold.
DEFENDERS husband brings forth
taithfulness and gold.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

1t is reported that recently q Knox
county young lady was teaching a
class in spelling, when the word
husband was written on the black
board. None of the children could
pronounce it, and In order TO help
them out the teacher asked:
"What would I have If ] Ehoald
get married ?"
The response was very prompt,
but it was not what she had expect
ed, and she blushed such a brilliant
red that the sunlight faded.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Mistress Ito servant who is about
to throw away an old lamp)-What
is the matter with that lamp Bird
get +? Does 1t smoke?
Bridget don't know nuthin'
bout whittier it smokes CIR drinks !;
but it goes out noights, mum.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

"Mamma, may | speak 2"
you know you must not talk at
the table,
MAY ! not say jost one thing 7"
"No, my boy. When papa has
read his paper, you may speak"
Papa reads through his PAPER and
says kindly;
snow, child, what is it ~
81 only wanted to say that the wa
ter pipe in the bath room had burst
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

An Irishman and a Frenchman
were disputing ever the nationality
of friend of theirs.
81 say" said the FRI nchman,
shat if be was born in France he is
a Frencbman."
Begorra," said Pat, "if cat
should have kittens in the oven,
would you call them biscuits "
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
To Offer "a Reward Of 100 Dol
lars

for a case of catarrh that cannot be
cured, amounts to nothing except to
sell the article. Do you know of any
such reward being paid Ely Bros.
do not promise rewards in order TO
sell their well-known Cream Balm"
They offer the most effective medi-
cants, prepared in convenient form
to use, which is absolutely free from
mercurials or other harmful drugs.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

1t was a very slow train, indeed,
and the travelling man remarked to
the conductor "Would there be
any objection to my getting of this
car right now!'
Conductor-"Why, my dear sir,
it's in motion"
Travelling Mani don't donbtit.
But l thought l would Like TO look
at it from the outside and see If |
can tell which way is is going"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

p A medical journal deyotes a whole
column to what causes cold perspi-
ration. Anyone who has gone up
dark alley ana stepped on a dog
would be wasting valuable time In
reading it.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

A colored boy, called as a witness
before g court martial, was asked by
the JudgeAdvocate if he understood
what an cath was. The witness re-
piled
eyes, sab l reckon l does. Use
been watin' at the officers mess
most six months
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

What the boy candidate evidently
needs for his travels is mule cart.
That will move slow enough to give
him a chance to talk as he goes
Philadelphia Press.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Feed the nerves upon pure, rich
blood and you will not be nervous.
Pure blood comes by taking Hoods
Sarsaparilla which is thus the great
est and best nerve tonic.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Carleton Gates-Are you really
so hard up?
Tramp-Hard up? Why, boss,
if suits of clothes wuz sellin' at a
cent piece, / wouldn't have enough
to buy an armhole OF vest.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Glow is it you have so few deaths
on your hands, doctor ~
"That's easy enough. When |
find have bad case / order the
patient to take trip abroad. :"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Hoods Pills cure nausea, sick
headache, Indigestion, biliousness.
All druggists. 25c.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Mckinley, @sound money! reci-
procity and prosperity. They work.
ed we'll before. Why not again p
Sioux City Argus Leader.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
WANTED-AM IDEA y Ws soS esn s thiDs
thing to patent2 Protect your ideas they may
bring you wealth. Write JOHN WEDDER-
BURN & CO., Patent Attorneys, Washington,
D. c., for their $500 prize offer.
Feb p, 1865, year.

Happy and content is home with 'fThe Ro-
chester" a lamp with the light Of morning.
Catalogues, write Rochester, ampCo ,NewYork.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

BEAL MERIT is the character
- istic of Hoods Sarsaparilla. It
cures even after other preparations fail.
Get Hoods and ONLY HOODS.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
BuckIen's Arniea Salve.

The BEST SALvE in the world for cuts,
bruises. sores, ulcer, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, Chilblains
congestion, eruptions, and it positively
cures piles or no pay required. 1t is guar
anteed to give satisfaction or money re-
funded. Price % cents per box, at l.. G..
Matthaei's drug store.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
Jlmm vi uasseht.
Billy--What for ?

Beggar-aPlease sir, will you give
me a Jenny or two ter get somethin'
ter eat ~
Gentleman-"You've got tie n
cents in your hand now. What's
that for r.
Beggar-"That's ter tip the wait
err
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
Smith--No, l did it myself.
many Persons ere

NA.Ny k0FSOE5 ere M0Res,
Gown from overwork or household cares
Browns Iron Bitters Rebuilds the
system, aids digestion. removes excess of Bile
and cures malaria Get the genuine.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
Castoria.

sCastor:a Is SO well adapted 10 children that
recommend il as superior tosny prescription
known 10 ne"
II So. Oxford St, Brooklyn, n. z.
s'Our physicians in the children's deparn
mont have spoken highly Of their expert
enee in their outside practice with Castoria,
and although We only have among our
medical supplies what is known as regular
products, yet we are free to confess that the
merits CT rssstoria has won look with
favor upon it
UNITED HOSPITAL AID DIsPESsARY.
Boston. Mass
ALLEN C. sm7H. Pres,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Ticket-seller-What part of the
house do you wish to 60 to?
Paddy Gust oveD-Steerage, sor.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19


body, and as it cannot go any place else,
morr or less of 1t gets into the blood.
That's constipation. 1t is such wonder
fully simple thing that people do not regard
It seriously. They let it run on, let it grow
worse become chronic, and show itself all
over the body in fifty ways before they con-
slider il important. Constipation causes
nine-tenths Of all human ailments. Its first
symptoms do not seem very serious but
even they are very disagreeable A few of
them are sour stomach, fatulence heart
burn, distress after eating, foul breath,
coated tongue, dizziness, palpitation of the
heart sick and bilious headaches, general
lassitude and debility. When any Of these
symptoms show themselves, you should
Immediately take DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pei
lets, according to directions. They are tiny,
sugar-coated granules, made on purpose to
cure constipation. They do this perfectly
and quickly, and they az the only prepa- 4
tion In the world that Iii do it. There are
plenty of medicines t.iat 7vill give relief as
long as you keep on taking them BIZ yea
can't stop. They dom el-s; they give
merely temporary reli : ] oc Il ierce's
Pleasant Pellets give i.1n,ed;a. ;.ef and
oTcdvce permanent cure.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Billy Hello JIMMY Why don't
you cum cut and play rid de fel-
lers?
JIMMY dassent.
Billy-What for2
Jimmy-Yoa know dat book We
was readin' out in de barn? Well.
] run away and was goin' ter be de
'scourge o. de Palms. but lefore l
got to the South Side pop ketched
me.
Billy-Aw, come On out.
JIMMY dassent. Pop took my
pants sn bid 'em.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
Castoria.

ssCastoria is an excellent medicine for chill
6ren. Mothers have repeatedly told ne Of its
good eject upon their children"
Dl. G. @. OsGooD.
Lowell, Mass
aoastoria is the Lest remedy fos children .
which am acquainted. hope the day Is not
far distant when mothers viii consider the real
interest of their children, and use Castoria IN
ptead of thevarious quack notruIns which are
destroying their loved ones, By forcing opium.
morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtful
agents down their threats, thereby sending
them to premature graves"
DR.. ]. F. KNcHELoE,
Conway Ark
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19

Smith Tin BARRIERS chair)-Now,
look here, barber, be careful. The
last man who shaved me, nearly kill
ed me, and / won't be as easy on
You as I was on him.
Barber (anxiously mo one in
this shop who shaved you, was it
sir?
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
DIRECTIONS
for using
CREAM RAJ NJ.

Apply a particle
OF the Balm up in
TO the nostrils.
After a moment
d ra W o n z
breath til rou & b
{ b e nose. Use
three times a day,
after meals pre-
.erred, and before
retiring.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
What is

ascra is DR.. Samuel Pitchers prescription for fsnts
and Children contains neihee Opium, Mory s ;ser
other Narcotic substance It is harmless fsastase
Paregoric, Drops, Soothing SyTSps and Castor Oil
1t is Pleasant. is thirty years use by
Millions Castoria destroys u orn,s and aiiays
feverishness. Castoria vomiting Sour Curd
cures Darrhoea and Wind Collie, Castoria relieves
teething troubles, constipation and hatuiency'
Castora assmilates the food, regulates the stomach
and bowels giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas-
toria is the Chdrens Panacea-tho Tzothers Friend.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1896-09-19
INSURANCE OfFCf,
HERBERT I. ALEXANDER.
Baker Building, over Snodgrass'
Drug Store.
mbRTiNsBURG, w. VA,

/ represent the following OLD, reliable
and well-known companies
The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-01-31
TELLS.

A receiving teller-a gossiping wom- an,-Texas Siftings.
 Pretty Cold.--'Ts it cold out, Hop kdns?" Gold? Why, it is so cold the janitor is complaining g."-Chicago Rec ord
 A Clear onscienee-"Don't some of these old songs haunt you?" NO; I've never murdered any of them" Chicago Record.
 Charley-There is nothing I admire morle than a good deed. Tom-Nor r. if it is made out in my name.--Detroit Free Press.
 Ayboy-I am thinking of going into business; is there any money in clothes? Gayboy-Not a cent in mine. .-Philadel- phla Bulletin.
 Foreman-Big sensation, There's the devil to nay outside! Editor (abstract- |edly)-Tell him I'll settle hereaftef!-- Atlanta Constitution
 Name, what is classical music?'' "Oh! don't you know? It's the kind that you have to lilsQ whether you like | it or not."-Puck
 beHllle-- Wudl S d COnVeTSatlOuallSt Jennle-Oh, it's a man that doesn't have to stop talking when he hasn't got any thing more to say.-Truth.
 No Telling -Ringway-Your sister ex- poets me to. dinner, doesn't she, Willie |? Wfllie-Oh, yes. She said she didn't know but what you might stay to breakfast.-Iifesfs
 Hotel Ptoprietor-Why did you let that countryman climb the stairs in stead of taking the elevator? Clerk He'll be so out of breath that he can't blow out the gas.-Harper's Bazar
 Housewife-Didn't tell you never to come here again? Wandering William --I hope you will pardon me, madam but 1t is the fault of my secretary; he has neglected to strike your name from my calling list.M4Boston Globe.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-01-31
THE CHEAT AAKEs.
be worth

The subsistence of the waters of the great lakes Is, of course, too important a matter to so unnoticed by Congress- a Congress which bids fair to go on rec ord as having done an immense amount of talking and accomplished very little, Tn both the Senate and House, resolu- tions have been introduced calling upon the War Department for all available information on the subject in question and an estimate of the cost of surveys for dams designed to regulate or raise the levels of those vast inland bodies of water The lake levels are now very low and the resolutions will be reported favorably by the committees to whom they have been referred, this being a matter which @ vast body of the con- stituents of many of the law makers itics can hardly be claimed to enter into the subject. The administration of the ltltlOlldi HllttLSSo 10 oilS ol tiioSS 9up- iects which ought not to be permitted to rest in the hands of the legislators from the sage brush States, who are in high feather because, owing to q mere chance situation of affairs, they are able to block the wheels of the financial progress and standing of the nation. And this financial question ought not to depend upon party politics.
 The trouble with the great lakes is happily out of the realm of politics, and a remedy will no doubt be attempted for the existing evil and threatening danger. The normal height of the lake levels is four to five feet above the pres ent stage The cause of the steady fall of the water during the last decade is attributed to the decreased rainfall in the lake region and the cutting down of vast forests. The plans to remedy the existing evil include wing dams or submerged dams at the narrow outlets of Lake Erie and Lake Huron, and some similar structure at the outlet of Lake Superior, which Is a reservoir for the lakes below. The project is one which will require skillful engineering and a wise application of proper means to the desiTed end.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-01-31
Writers and Sneakers.

The principal difference between writers and speakers is, after all, to be discovered in temperament. The pres ence of an audience, especially a large audience, has always one of two effects on a man; either it stimulates or de- presses him. To the born speaker 1t lends vivacity to the intellect and flu ency to the tongue. others 1t strikes dumb. A man may, of course, be fluent without being an orator, An empty man Is often f1uent--that is due to yan- ity; a pompous man is sometimes con- fident and ready of speech-that is due to conceit. The one chatters on, serene fly unconscious that he is talking nor1- sense; the other has too lofty a sense of his own importance to suspect for a moment that his rounded periods are mere commonplace. The fact is that in every case the fruit smacks of the soil.
 But even with the greatest orators there Is not only a particular style and flavor peculiar to each but so complete and close an adaptation to the taste of the audience addressed that the oratory of one age is very apt to seem weariness or darkness to the next.
 Lord Bolingbroke was applauded by Lord Chesterfield, who had been among his auditors, for the force and charm of his eloquence." Pitt looked up to him as a. model and Burke initiated his style, yet later speakers neglect him and expect to learn nothing from his slow and fatiguing sentences, which have been characterized by latter critic as 'declamatory, diffusive and in- volved, deficient both in eloquence and precision. ."-Gentleman's Magazine.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-01-31
Theories or Longevity.

But there is at least one common and acceptable feature in the records of those who "die well' at ninety-five or | whereabouts. No one concerns himself to be sceptical concerning their length | of days. The kind of evidence that would be thought sufficient to establish the fact of mans entrance upon his twentieth lustrum is eyed with suspi- | cion when he has turned the corner of | the. century. The obituary of the pres | ent year includes the names of Mir, John Chalenor of Rornford aged nine | ty-eight years; Sir James Bacon and Admiral Sir Lewis Tobias Jones, ninety seven; MT. Aibljah Hill Pears of Coven- try, Mrs. Crook of Windsor, and Mrs. Lucy Rees of South Woodford ninety six; and of the mother of Lord James of Hereford and Lady Gross, aged ninety | five years. A very few more years Of i life would have made the truth of thesA great ages a debataibie question. Less than fifty years ago the existence of any centenarian at all was pretty gene- rally looked upon as apocryphal. It would be foolish to suppose that in some of the instances recorded in these columns ages have not occasionally been wilfully or mistakenly exaggera- ted. And it would certainly be impos- sible to verify those of the majority by direct evidence. But is it not little curious that many of the highest ages are those supported by the best testi- mony, and every authenticated case of this kind-though, of course, of no log ical value in establishing the others yet makes it easier and more rational to believe in them. It is, at least, less | judicious to sheer at the mere s'proba- bilities'' of centenaranism when the fact of the attainment of a higher age is absolutely proved.
 In "As You Like It" Adam lays weight on those cardinal points of youthful temperance and self-restraint which should lead to an old age like "a lusty winter, frosty but kindly" That" says a medical authority, "is the whole secret of long life. Shake speare knew it as well asI any one, yet he died at fifty-three.' But knowing the secret will not confer the constitu- tion nor command the concurrence of the favorable conditions. And what are these? Apparently the least likely to be agreed are the centenarians them selves. The inevitable intrusion of the personal equation too often reduces the whole question to an absurdity. But even ths self-love of the individual is less misleading than the zeal of the ] faddist in search of an "example" to support a craze or a movement. T | have lived to be a hundred because I never drank tea or coffee" ''The only way to live long is for every person to live according to his proper individual- i ity." "Sanguineness and content are the great predisposing causes ''The lf5eg,nning and the end Of 1t is the food question" Never worry" "The air We breathe is everything" Never smoke or drink alcohol" From which futile generalities it is pleasant to turn
The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-01-31
FASHION NOTES.
Rich Costumes Turned to Economy.

Rich Costumes Turned to Economy.
 In planning a brocade skirt, let it have two bodices; one, say, of cloth in coat style that will open over either an elaborate or severe waistcoat; the other a low neck affair of some shade found in the brocade. Then you will have cloth skirt to go with the coat, and when the coat is thus worn it will of course be used with the severity waistooat. resulting in a tailor simple gown. Meantime the low nlecked bod. ice will be as suited to a skirt to match as it will to the brocade skirt, and used in the former way will create a second evening gown. You will employ black as much as possible, and the short black satin skirt will have a high necked bodice made elaborate by a wide sailor collar of lace that will go equally well with various other gowns. This will also have a low-cut bodice that may be worn simply or be rendered ela- borate by the putting over 1t of blouse of glittering gauge or chiffon, which, perhaps, covers the neck, ending at the throat with a high stock. This same blouse can adapt itself, too to that other low-necked bodice that goes with the brocade skirt. You see it is not right to abandon economical planning just because the topic under considera- ton is a low cut dress in which rich stuffs play an Important part; then is the time to make scheming all the more productive of good results.
 Even in as expensive 3. ball dress as