The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-07-15

big to put ones arms around. / never
could understand why a gilt pineapple
was put there. I asked the head deacon
about II one day, but he didn't conde-
scend to answer me. and merely sug-
gested that had better study the Scrip
lures. Now, I've been in the habit OF
studying them ever since l was a boy,
but 1 never remember coming across
any allusion to pineapples. Some day
I'm going to inquire into the thing and
get satisfactory answer. My own idea
is that when the committete that was
building the church came to deciding
on a decoration for the top of the
steeple, old Deacon White, who was an
importer Of pineapples and bananas
and such, though he could advertise
his business by putting q big gilt pine
apple where nobody could fail to see 1t.
BY the time l got alongside of the
church there We're about two thousand
people, men, women and children there,
waiting to see the professor fall, and
speculating as to what extent he would
be smashed by the time he should strike
the ground. They were all in the best
of spirits, as folks generally are when
they are admitted free to some attrac-
tive show. Deacon White was the only
exception; he disapproved strongly of
Van Wageners conduct and said that
1t was little better than sacrilege. OF
course, | knew that the professor was
In no danger of falling down. What he
wanted to do was to avoid falling up,
whenever il should become necessary
for him to let go his hold. ! saw that
the thing to do was to get rope to him
as soon as possible, calculating that he
would have sense enough to know how
to use it, The difficulty was how to get
the rope to him. for the steeple was per-
fectly smooth on the outside, 50 that
nobody could possibly climb 1t, and
there was no ladder in the town that
would reach half way up to the pine
apple. Pretty soon / saw my way. |
sent man to get two hundred feet of
stout line, and then ! found boy who
was flying kite, and bought out his
whole stock for fifty cents. | used to be
Il midddling good kite flyer when was
a boy, and it didn't take Inc very long to
manuever that kite 80 that the string
fell across Van Wagener's shoulder, and
| saw him seize it with one hand. Then
! bent the two hundred feet Uf line 60
the kitestring, and shook it las signal
to the professor to haul away. He aiu
so, and in a little while he had one end
of the line in his possession, and he cast
the kite adrift, string and all.
Amy man who wasn't a scientific per-
son would have known that ] expected
Van Wagner to tie the line to his
ankles. and let me pun him gently down.
But the professor never thought of that.
He tied the line fast to the lightning rod,
and started to slide down it. Naturally,
his inflated shirt made that impossible.
We could see him hanging on to the line
with both hands, and with his body
swinging out at right angles, but in
spite of all he could do he couldn't man
age to climb down the line single foot.
The public got more excited than ever,
and the betting on the professors ulti-
mate fate was lively. But after time
he came to the conclusion that he had
made mistake, and ] was never more
relieved in my life than when | saw him
climb back to his perch on the pine