The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-16

There are some hotter places in the
world than Savannah, Ca. The Herald
OF Sidney, Australia, gives an account of
a recent warm spell in that far-away
country, which shows that our friends
across the river are better off than their
antipOdean neighbOrs. The Herald says
that IL was so hot that birds dropped
dead from the trees and even the mos
quitoes were killed by the heat. The
lowest point reached by the thermometer
IN the coolest place was l07 and the
highest point was l29 degrees. The Their
mometer rarely goes above l07 in Savan-
nah and the mosquitoes never die there.
There are hotter places In the world than
Savannah.
The quotation is from the Charleston
News and Courier It is supposed to be
funny. A Charlestonian would be ex-
pected to call it hot stun. 1t is. indeed,
a gem OF Charleston humor. In order to
be able to write bright things like that,
it is necessary to cultivate dyspepsia. In
order to appreciate them. one needs to
be surrounded by an atmosphere of per-
feet quiet save for the sleepy tinkllng of
mule-car bells. There should be no rush
Of commerce outside, and no smell of
fresh paint to suggest up-to-dateness. In
short. to appreciate Charleston wit. one
should be in Charleston. The pungency
of the sally falls short anywhere else.
The melancholy surroundings of the
Charleston newspaper humorist is respon-
sible for his style. One must be similarly
environed and view things from his stand
point, or the point of the joke is lost.
We do not know great deal about the
temperature in Charleston. We care
great deal less. Only few people are
interested in it, anyway, and they have
got nothing to do but watch the Their
mometer. We have. We daresay it is
little warmer in this city than it is there.
1t ought to be. Things are moving here.
The wheels are going round. We are
busy. Locomotives are straining their
piston rods bringing in freights. Steam
ships are bending their backbones carry
ing out freights Our stores are open
for business. Merchants and clerks wear
only sprinting costumes in order that
they may get about rapidly enough to
wait on their customers. There is no
grass growing in the pavement in front
of our custom house. The rapid friction
of passing wheels of trucks drays and
other vehicles in great numbers keeps it
scorched to death at least six inches be-
low the roots Even the ice wagons move
with such celebrity that it is found nee
essary to place a block of ice on each hub
to prevent hot boxes. Brick buildings
are put up so fast that the bricks
are annealed by the development in hand
ling of their own latent heat. The street
cars burn the wind as fuel for their own
electric power plants. II is unusual to
see a rubber tire on a bicycle; the riders
scorch them off in the rush to keep up
with business. Everything that walks
goes on roller skates. Rapidly of move
ment, as is very well known generates
or develops heat. Absence of movement.
inertia, has the opposite effect. Could it
be wondered at, therefore, if it were
little warmer in Savannah than in
Charleston?
About mean temperatures we care Moth
ing This much we know, however, that
the mean temperature of Charleston must
be mean indeed, since it brings about such
paragraphs as the one quoted above. Still
ii cannot be as reprehensible as the spirit
which it induces in the Charleston news
paper humorist And we know this. too:
that there is no finer and more saIubrious
climate in the world than that of Sa-
vannah. the jealous filings of the Charles
ton humorist TO the contrary notwith-
standing.