davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
HUMOROUS.

And viii you love me eternally?
Lieutenant--How can you ask such q
question? I always love eterEeily."-
Fliegende Batter.
-feast-''Did the colonel draw his
sword in defense of his country?''
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: only a pension
Yonkers Statesman
-Mother-~And are you sure that he
loves you?" Daughter-''Of course
am! Can't see how he stares at me
whenever I am not looking at him ?''-
Fliegende Blatter.
-Binks-.'There really is some honor
about thieves" Wagfets = Flows
that?'' Binks-"A burglar tried to
break into my house last night. fired
at him." Waglets-'Well?'' Binks-
with a keen sense of the obligation 1
had conferred upon him he promptly
returned the fire."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
-Inquiring Tourist Tin an Oklahoma
restaurant)-'This is a novel idea of
yours, surely, calling your guest to din
ner by firing off one barrel Of your
shotgun. But, pardon me, why do YOU
discharge only one barrel?" Proprietor
Early Bird Restaurant-"I keep the
other bar'l to collect payment for the
Mr.. Higgins and Miss Dimple had
been discussing marriage in an i'm
personal manner, when the young lady
announced her preference in this way:
THE man I marry must be handsome,
talented, amiable, courageous, and with
out fault of any sort whatever" This
is very sudden" replied Mr.. Higgins.
81 thoroughly appreciate the honor you
confer upon me, but you will give me
week to consider. suppose. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Not Up to Expectations. - City
Nephew we try an omelet,
Uncle Jerry. That's one of the special
ties at this restaurant" Uncle Jerry
(from Upcreek) -''An right. That'u
suit me as well as anything" City
Nephew Ito the waiter) US two
| omelets." Uncle Jerry Ga few minutes
| later)-'I don't know what you've got
George, but they've brought me some
| baked custard 'thout any sugar in it.
Chicago Tribune.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
The Obstacle to Inter

The Obstacle to International Arbitration.
The real obstacle in the way of in
transitional arbitration is not SO much
a lack of efficacy in the method, as the
lack of disposition to try it, The sys-
TEN OF arbitration necessarily presup-
poses that nations desire an amicable
adjustment of their differences. Such
an adjustment may be prevented either
by a wilful opposition to it, or by the
adoption of a style of controversy
that renders argument impracticable.
Against such obstacles it is difficult to
contend, since their direct tendency
and effect is to bring about a collision
before an arbitrator can intervene. It
is obvious that arbitration can no more
afford an absolute safeguard against
such contingencies than can system of
municipal law absolutely prevent men
from attempting to settle their differ
ences by fighting in the strict,
if they desire thus to revert to primal
conditions. Yet severe penalties,
strictly enforced, may reduce such
chances to a minimum; and it is con-
ceivabIe that a scheme of international
action might be devised so compre-
hensive as to render a resort to war ex-
ceedingly difficult and hazardous
Century
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
Our Vanishing Birds.

A leading American ornithologist
says that some of our most desirable
birds are threatened with eytermina-
ton The common quail and ruffied
grouse are becoming very scarce.
Wrens and blucbirds are driven from
their old haunts by sparrows. Terms
are slaughtered by thousands for the
millinery business, and Florida is SIM
iiarly despoiled of its herons, ibis, peli-
Guns, and smaller birds. The wild pig
eon has disappeared. Fashion at pres
emit is the greatest enemy of bird life.
but collectors of eggs are also respon-
s;Dle for great destruction. Protection
of birds must come through the educa-
ton OF the people, especially the rising
generation, and by protective legisla-
ton sustained by game wardens- Thus
far no state legislature has given the
subject the attention it deserves and
mus soon demand, if the present raw
apes coEtinue.--St- Louis Glohe-Dem,
0crat.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
AT THAT INSTANT THE Saving MA
CHINE" HAD JUMPED THU TRACK.

I wish you would tell me what you saw
and how it affected you,'' said the gem
era1 manager, addressing the engineer.
MAY 1 ask you first if you saw any
thing. colonel?' said the driver.
Il saw 4 locomotive standing on \
spur or siding just east of Coyote
when L saw her first said Sam,
taking courage from the colonels con-
fession, ''she was bang in front of us
coming out of n cut like q ball out OF a
cannon. I saw it was all up with us,
but 1 naturally shut off-mechanically,
so to speak. I think hooked her over,
but 1 didn't whistle, open the sand
valve nor set the air-they want no
use-no time-but just then thought
of little Sammie as I saw him last,
hangin' on the fence by the seat Nv his
pants, an it seemed to me that I never
see anything quite SO funny, and I
laughed that hard that the tears came
in my eyes and blinded me. Then the
thought came to me that we were a
long time coming together, so looks
ahead an there want thing in sight.
1 asked Harry if he see anything an
he lied an asked if L see anything an
1 lied, too, an opened up the throttle
again. That's all I know about it."
There was a noticeable increase in
the attention of the company, and Tim
Flarrity, the fireman, leaning low TO-
| ward the table, crossed himself and
| yentured the prediction that they would
| have a head-end collision before they
! reached the junction. 81 never see a
| ghost train show up yet that didn't
mean something" he added, but the
| burst of laughter that followed closed
his circuit, and he said no more.
Il = +
Der of messages for the superin-
tendent, and as the official began read
ing the first of the lot he began to
smile.
| Read it out" said the colonel. "Per-
haps it will tell us something about
| the ghost The superintendent read:
Engine 81 is off the track and near
| ly off the right of way 1000 yards east
of Coyote spur, but still on her feet
| That explained the ghost engine. At
| the instant when the engineer shut of,
| the Sewing machine" just then round
| ing sharp curve, jumped the track, III :
| square on her wheels and went plOsv-
ing out over the hard adobe of the
desert. She rolled and rocked for a
few seconds and then came to a stop
with the engine men still standing IN
the cab. The engine had been work
| ing hard and if the throttle had re-
manned open she might have made the
curve all right, but the sudden relaxa-
ton of all her tension caused jar that
| threw her off her feet, but it was 1,
lucky jar for her crew.
Since that time. however, old Sam
mas been in hard luck. He has already
lost three legs The last one, being
caught under an engine, was chopped
eff by the conductor with an ordinary
ak to prevent the engineer being roasI-
ed alive Those who witnessed the
operation say that Ss=a rested on one
elbow and smoked a cigar while the
conductor hacked away at his ankle
1t was wooden leg.--Atlanta Constitu.
| ton
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02

perhaps" said the colonel, There
was not when we went down. but there
is now, for saw locomotive standing
there"
The conductor laughed as the super
intendent had done, but the colonel
offered to risk a case of champagne that
he had seen no ''gnost" train, and the
superintendent took the bet as the
easiest way of settling an argument
which was about to become embarrass-
ing.
When the special reached Green river
the party went into the eating house,
where supper had been ordered, and. as
was the habit, the colonel sat at the
same table with the train and engine
crew.
What did you shut of for just this
side of Coyote spur, Sam?' asked the
colonel, looking the engineer in the eye,
and instantly the eyes of the whole
party were upon the drivers dusky face.
The engineer was speeches.. Not
that the circumstances had escaped his
mind, for as a matter of fact he had
thought of little else, but he knew-not
how to answer
did you think that engine was on
the main line?" asked the general man.
ager, noticing the embarrassment of
| the engine crew
what engine?" asked the engineer,
| trying to look and speak naturally
There was only one engine there
besides your own" was the colonePs
response. Twill you be good enough
to answer my question:
''Well," thought the driver, ''if I've got
'em the G. MS got EN-" and he All.
swered: 81 did think she was on the
| main stem"
| What did you think, Harry?' asked
| the superintendent of the fireman, whe
was staring at the engineer. The fire
IMAM only closed his eyes and shool
his head slowly, as though he consid
cred them all crazy, and his long lashes
dark with coal dust, lay upon his newly
washed face like the lashes of a choru:
girl.
did you see anything on your side?'
! asked the colonel, who was determined
10 unlock the lips of the fireman
Not a thing said Harry Il dom
believe in ghosts"
1T will not be necessary for you t.
take out GO ian accident report), blu
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
THE SPANISH CAMPAIGN.
Despite Constant Victories 1t Was q Dis
astrous Failure.

Despite Constant Victories 1t was q Dis-
astrous Failure.
The French interests in Spain We're
left in a most deplorable condition.
The populace of Madrid received the
hero of the age with GOODNESS, and shut
themselves up in their houses to AVOID
forming a crowd or creating any en-
thusiasm in the streets. They would
not even come out to see the gorgeous
military parade which was arranged
for their benefit. The gentry and no
bility were alike distant and cold. 1t
was clear that Spain could neither be
wheedled, cajoled, nor threatened into
even passive acquiescence in the new
conquest. 1t was essential, therefore,
that another course should be tried.
On December 4 Napoleon, in the role
of Recommendations, pronounced and
issued from Chamartin series of the
most thoroughgoing edicts. All feudal
privileges, all interproviTcial customs
dues, were swept away; the 1nquisition
was abolished, and the number of con-
vents was reduced to a third. These
measures were in themselves most sal
utary, and struck at the very root OF
the upas tree under the baneful shade
of which Spain had been slowly perish
ing. But to do good they must be en-
forced; there must be complete mill
tary conquest of the country, and a
capable administration.
There was neither. The Spanish
army had been defeated, but, severe as
had been its punishment, its resistance
| was not destroyed; the occupation OF
the country was also sadly incomplete,
and it made no difference whittier
French soldiers marched, or what STRAIT
egic points they held, some kind OF
| Spanish fighting force, no matter how
| irregular, sprang up behind them and
on their sides The complete military
Capitalization of Prussia had made
Jena decisive for the whole loose-joint
ed territory of that kingdom; the com
pact territory of Spain and the local in
dependence of her peoples made regu-
| lar victories utterly fruitless so far a.
the open country was concerned.-W
NJ Sloane, in Century.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
A Delicious Beverage.

When grapes are plentiful a most
delicate ard delightful beverage may
be obtained by pressing the juice front
the grapes Little presses are to be had
for the PURPOSE But many grapes are
necessary to make this delci ous drink.
Thus treated, the useless seeds, skins
and pulp are prevented from burdenin1
and taxing the digestive apparatus;
and nothing can be nicer than this
fresh, rich, grape juice.-Wornankind
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
WHY CRIME FLoURISHES.
It Is Regarded Honorable in Certain
Quarters.

1t Is Regarded As Honorable in Certain
Quarters
was going in the recorders court
the other afternoon when met an old
woman coming out, and as she had
happy look on her face 1 jumped to the
conclusion that some prisoner in whom
she was interested had been Sc. at lib
erty.
s'Say!" she whispered, as she laid a
OBTAINING hand on my arm, did yees
hear what the recorder had to say to me
son Jimmy in there?"
No, ma'am; I'm just going in"
'Ah! sir, it was something to make
the folks in Cherry street who have been
growing over me take back seat. He
talked to me Jimmy fur at least five
minutes
rs Jimmy your SOM?
Hes nothing less, sir, and a bewt1ful
boy he is, too. He was arrested wild de
gang fur robbin' a shoe store. The
folks in Cherry street, who are jealous
of me and Ji1nmy, you know, was tellin'
around that he'd get off with 60 days at
most, while the others would git at least
three years apiece. I couldn't sleep
last night fur fear they'd have some
thing new to crow over"
Has Jimmy been sentenced?"
Indeed, he has, and not five minutes
ago. He walked in as proud you
please and he never shifted leg while
his honor was talking to him. 1t was
his first time, sir, but if he'd a-bin your
brother you'd a-bin proud to own ltns. -
What was his sentence?"
Five years, sir-fve years at Sing
Sing, and that was a year more than any
of the rest got. They was from Cherry
street and it took 'em aback more than !
can tell ye."
''And you are rejoicing because your
son has been sent to prison for five
years."
"Phist! It's proud and rejoicing
am to know that if he had to go his
| honor took him for the leader of the
gang and made it five years instead Oh
| 60 days. That makes him a boy to be
looked up to, and I'll hear no more from
the Cherry street folks as was Boosting
that me Jimmy was only kid and
would be put to bed in the Tombs!'-
| Detroit Free Press.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02

center, every curve and sag on the di-
visiDn-consequently the officers put
mo limit upon the speed of the train,
but leave it all to the good Judgment of
the engineer. 1t was clear, dry day in
the early autumn, the very best time of
the year for a fast run, and ''Old Sam
has been gauging his speed for so miles
back so as to hit Coyote spur on the
dot, and break the record for fast run
ming on the Alkali division.
by the rules of the road five minutes
were allowed for the variation OF
watches, but the rule is not always
wholly respected, and as the man on tbs,
special was known to be a daring driver
the sewing machine crew saw that they
Were in a close place long before the
smoke of the approaching locomotive
was seen. Now they had barely five
minutes left and nothing for the varia-
ton and the coveted siding four miles
away. If tie opposing train failed TO
respect the ''fve-minute rule she
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02
Tea Kills a Horse.

People with a fondness for tea Gig
arettes should read the story told in Gen.
Molyneux's new book on Africa of Lord
William Beresford's horse, which broke
open a chest of tea and ate a pound or
two of it, The animal was seized with
violent madness that alarmed the
camp and terrified all the other horses
Finally it collapsed and died in great
agony. a post-mortem examination
developed the cause of the trouble
Chicago Tribune
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-05-02

erar1 commun Icatrons for this paper mus
companied by the name of the author.
oc necessarily for publication, but as an
Tfdence of good faith on the part of the
ritter Write only on one side of the paper:
Le particularly careful in giving names AND
ates to have the letlars and ngures plafr
nd GisEIc.-
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24

Grass linen made over green and
trimmed with black satin is one of
the newest combinations.
If water is slipped slowly it more
certainly assuages thirst than if
gulped down in large quantities.
Toast is now served with after
noon tea. The combination is
slightly suggestive of the sick room.
A cool wave always materiaIizes
just when your thinnest gown has
come home from the laundry and
you are wild to wear it.
White lawn bodices with linen
skirts and the reverse are much
more frequently seen than entire
costumes of either material.
The young person who declares
thai life no longer possesses any
attraction for her will scream the
loudest when the boat threatens to
upset.
Shirt waists selling for twenty
five cents means that every woman
you meet, instead of every other
one, will be decked out in these
garments.
Many a man who will not sit ON
his own porch does not object to
spending hours on some one else's,
prov ding the some one else is an
entertaining individual of the
feminine gender.
Many women who are over-p par
ticular concerning the scrubbing of
their refrigerators (Which Mrs.
Rorer says is Unnecessary neglect
the drain pipe altogether, with
most distressing results.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24
An Erect Position.

An erect position is positively neces,
sary for good digestion and perfect
health. 1t can only be sustained by deep
breathings, strong chest muscles and IL
vigorous exercise of the will power, but
vigorous will Is of the most benefit
when supported by clear understand
Ing. Therefore, give your children n
simple yet comprehensive talk on the
structure of the body and the compost
ton of the bones. Impress upon their
minds the great need Of keeping an
erect position now while their bodies
are growing. Teach them, and not only
teach them, but prove to them by actual
exercises, how much more easily and
gracefully the body folds itself to-
gether when we stoop to pick anything
up, or when we sit, and how unneces-
sury in the constant everyday activity
it is to bend the shoulders at all. Teach
them in walking to hold up the chin and
to look square ahead. Wherever it Is
possible awake in your children that
innate pride which instinctively asso-
ciates the stopped form with sluggish.
uess and inactivity.-N. Y. Ledger.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24
The gold men are always prom

The gold men are always prom
Using prosperous times for some
period in the future. When Cleve-
land called Congress together in
special session to repeal the Sher-
man law-the last vestige OF
authority for the government to
coin silver, the gold men predicted
that within ten days after repeal
business would revive, the spindles
go to humming again, and that
everything would be lovely. That
was two years ago, and the failures
have been increasing and agricul-
tural products lowering in price.
Two years ago we were told that il
the republicans elected a majority
in Congress times would improve.
A big republican majority was
elected in Congress, and that ma
iority voted to issue several hun
dred million dollars more of bonds
and to continue the gold standard,
since which the times have grown
harder than ever. Now the gold
men tell us that if Mckinley is
elected times will improve. Will
any farmer or business man be
caught with this kind of chaff?-
Review, Milbanl1, S. Oak.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24

himself, but for the people, and he
did not expect to make anything
for himself.
"When he was in Congress he
had an offer of $40, 900 year to
become the counsel of large cor
poration, but he told the officers he
would not act as their attorney for
the entire profits of the Concern"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24

So long as the great bankers OF
Europe and America can influence
legislation, jQst so long will we suf-
fer from the gold standard. Just
so soon as the people determine to
maintain their rights and sustain
them at the polls, the gold power
will end and peace aid prosperity
return under the blessings of the
flee coinage standard. Mining
Record, Denver, Col.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24
Moro Than Agreed with Her.

"Now, maintain" said Miss Strong,
shat there is no place filled by man
which q woman cannot fill. Is that
comprehensive enoughP"
"4t is very comprehensive" replied
Mr.. Northside, "but l am prepared to
go still further in advocacy of woman's
ability"
Are you2"
"Yes, am. On the scat Of q street
car, for instance, she can fill two mems
places" - Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24

And the housewife broils herself
to a blister in her effort to fill the
preserve closet to overlooking.
A room furnished with mating
and bamboo furniture is the embodi-
ment of summer luxury in house
furnishing.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24

George!

She (romantically)-Ah, George.
would you could-like the knights OF
old-do some brave, heroic deed tc
SLOW your love for me,
ne-Iavcn't L? Why, have worn
this hand-painted necktic you gave m.
Christmas every day since.-Puck.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24
THE HOUSEHOLD.
Plant Notes.

| Plant Notes.
WINTER BLooM.-Don't let your
geraniums bloom all summer and
then expect them to do the same
all winter. Keep geraniums for
winter blooming in semistarved
condition all summer by giving
just water enough to keep alive
and no fertilizers. If in very small
pots change to a size larger in
september, using rich soil. After
this give all the water they want,
and occasionally through the winter
a little plant food, Give q sunny
situation, and if the buds were
picked off through the summer
they ought to bloom freely through
the winter.
CASTOR OIL.-Last year 1 came
into possession of a calla which had
not bloomed for eight years, pre-
yious to which time it had bloomed
abundantiy. I had read and heard
Of the castor oil treatment and
thought I would try it; but On
looking for castor oil found I had
none, so l tried sweet oil instead,
using about two ounces. | scraped
the earth away from the stalks and
poured the oil directly on the bulbs.
| used very warm water to water
with, and two weeks later 1 applied
about two tablespoonsful of melted
lard. In less than a month from
the first application I counted five
well developed buds.
KEROSENE ESIULSIoN.-One-
half pound of whale oil soap, one
quart of water, and two quarts of
kerosene. Heat the soap and water
till the soap is thoroughly dissolved,
then add while boiling hot to the
kerosene, Don't put the kerosene
into the soap and water over the
fire, but take the hot mixture from
the stove and pour into the kero-
sene. Churn all together until
perfectly mixed; it should form a
cream when cool, which will mix
without separating in water. To
use it, add one part emulsion to
uine parts of water.
RED SPIDER. case of red
spider an ounce of prevention is
worth many pounds of cure. The
red spider abhors water,-therefore
to prevent his work keep plants in
a moist atmosphere, and sprinkle
and syringe the foliage o.ten,-be-
ing sure to wet the under side of
the leaves and stems. The red
spider is a mite, and such a tiny
mite that the aid of a magnifying
glass is often necessary to discover
him. Sometimes the first kpowl-
edge one has of his presence is a
dry and burnt appearance of the
foliage; then if the plant is ex-
amined tiny webs will be discovered
and good pair of eyes may find
the spiders themselves. Then, if
you would save your plants, a
vigorous war must be begun aud
maintained until the last spider is
dead. Begin by clearing all rubbish
aud dead leaves away from the
pots and plants, for they are the
favorite haunt of the red spider;
burn all such material collected.
Then try Swinging with kerosene
emulsion, followed by frequent
syringings with clear water. Bowls
filled with hot water and set among
the plants will help to keep the
air moist. Very badly affected
plants would be better cut back, or
at least stripped Of the greater part
of their foliage.-Yick's Mag.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24

pa" said Johnnie Chnf1ie, ''what
does the teacher mean by saying that l
must have inherited my bad temper?"
she means. Johnnie, that you are
your mothers own boy."-Texas Sift-
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1896-07-24

Are you tired all the time? Then
your blood needs to be enriched
and purified by Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla, the One True Blood Purifier.
1t gives vigor and vitality.