The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1896-02-20

professors idea was that his lights
would show which way he was heading
when he went out on the street after
dark. Any man who knows the rule
VI the road, said he. will know by the
color of my lights which way | am
heading, and can keep cut of my way.
This was very convenient for the old
gentleman, for, as | have said, his sight
was rather dim, letting alone the fact
that he had one glass eye, and this be-
ing the case he often ran into people
and horses. and things, when he was
out after dark. He made . good deal
OF sensation the first time he np-
peared on broadway with his head
light and his side lights burning their
brightest, and, as was natural ne had
a pretty big crowd following him. The
policeman was always little doubtful
about the thing at the start, for po-
l.ceman always thinks that everything
that is new must be unlawful. How
ever, the professor was SO generally re-
spected that even tho policemen hesi-
tated to club theirideas into his head.
Prof. Van Wagener had daughter
who was middling popular with the
young men, although she did not know
on awful lot Of mathematics and chem
istry OF course, her father fitted her,
as he did everybody else in the house,
with an electric headlight, but the girl
wasn't very well pleased with ii. When
q young man came to see her she would
turn herself on and light him into the
back parlor, where they would sit to-
gether and talk. But somehow the
young men never seemed to make much
progress after Miss Sally was lighted
by electricity Whether it was that
10 fellow likes to have an electric light
resting on his shoulder or whether
ii was because there was no way of
turning the light down till it would
burn in cozy, subdued way, like gas
when it is turned down by an intelli-
gent girl, can't say, but the result of
The thing was that Sallie didn't get a
single offer from the day her father
lit her up with the incandescent light.
1T first she begged him to let her have
& kerosene light, and when he wouldn't
do il She cried good deal and said
that he wanted her to die an old maid.
That's what would probably have hap
pened If it hadn't been for the intclli-
@gence of young man who came to see
her before the winter was quite over
and brought d candle with him every
time. Sallie would light the candle
and then turn herself off for the rest
Of the evening, and she gathered in that
young man the very second time he
called at the house.
prof. Van Wagner had a cat that
he considered TO be an animal of con-
siderable taste for science, and nothing
would satisfy him till he had provided
the cat with the electric headlight.
lie had considerable difficulty in fas-
tening the light on the cats head, for,
although She had always seemed to
take a good deal of interest in watching
linn experimenting with different sorts
of things in his chemical laboratory,
she drew the line at electricity, and OBJ
jected to being lighted up like the rest
Of the people in the house. However,
the professor would not listen to her,
and the first night the lamp was in
working order he, put the, eat in the
kitchen and told her to lay for mice.
They do say that the next morning
when the housemaid came downstairs
she found about 5000 mice lying on
the kitchen floor, too frightened to ran
away. The cat was sitting up in the
middle 81 The rom with her headlight
blazing away, and She paying not the
least attention to the mice, but just
licking her chops and saying to herself
that, after all, there was considerable
good ia electricity. She never made
the least attempt to catch the mice,
that it wouldn't be sports
manlike to take advantage of their com
dition. The girl just gave one scream,
and then She got out Of that Kitchen
and tainted dead away onthe hallfioor,
breaking her headlight in her fall and
creating good deal Of excitement in
the house. The professor came down
and swept up the mice and carried
them out III a BASKET. They5dc shy
that there was pretty near a bnshel
of them, but don't doubt that the n
thing was exaggerated. Anyhow, the
house was completely cleared of mice,
and whether the professor drowned
his baslIctful or just let them loose
anywhere in the street, / never knew. i
expect he let them loose, for that is
what scientific man would have been
middling sure'to do.
"There was one person in the pro-
lessons family who didn't like the cleo
trio light businss. That was Mrs. Van
WAGNER. She was a woman of good
deal Of character. people said. and OF