Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-03-12
SOME PET NAMES.
Wives Inaptly Bestow Them Upon Their
Husbands.

!
Husbands.
The little god of love betrays even
dignitied people into the most ingeni-
ously incongruous terms of endear:
ment sometimes. And this in defiance
of the fact that the real love words of
every language are the most musically
beautiful combinations of sounds pos
sible.
So sweetly melodious are our own
darling" dearest" Sweetheart"
that one is fain to pity him or her who
has never heard them tenderly uttered
With special application. While the
French mon ami,' "cherie," "ma
mignonne," ETC., are spoken music, and
even the German "meine geliebste'
might glorify that strong language.
Honey" "dealie," Sweet" are still
on the right side of the ridiculous. Even
pet" is admissible, though it once oc
Cured to me that to address swarthy,
six-foot, 250-pound Cuban at public
dinner as petite" might be just on the
borderland.
But where the divine passion is real
ly dominant, all these expressions arc
| quite too commonplace.
l know well-built, well-groomed
man Of the world, with strong, mascu-
Inc face, a splendid, athletic figure,
standing six feet three inches in his
stockings, and stately and dignified in
his bearing. His enraptured wife finds
no word SO expressive of her apprecia.
tion of his charms as "Kitten." She,
by the way, is Juno, and he, not to be
outdone in mai ters of the heart, also
calls her "Kitten." So it is Kitten and
Kitten. until l am sure they have for.
gotten that the English language po:
sesses proper nouns, in general usage
in polite society.
Then there is a fat man with pudgy
face and protruding figure. Nothing
seems to satisfy the soul of his doting
wife but Birdie. Birdie he is, Birdie
he must be though all the world would
blush for it.
Then l cannot forget one of my dear
friends whose husband, 20 years her
senior, is hard-heuded business man.
who is said sometimes to wander
into ways that are dark, and tricks
that are vain" Happily, do not know
just what she calls him during these
periods. But I do know that during
his temporary lapses into virtue She
is q most devoted, loving wife, and that
when her passion for him is at moder-
c tie height she contents herself with
mail tweetness," and "cunning
single" but when it rises to flood tide.
she casts upon him the most loving
and languishing glances and calls him
Grow"
Another tall, gaunt, raw-boned, i'll
favored friend is also worthy of passing
mention. His hair is carrot-colored
and scraggly, his neck so thin that it
resembles nothing SO much as snarl
of strings, while his hands, feet and
anatomy generally call up visions. of
lchabod Crane. His affectionate spouse
could find no name for him that so
pleased her fancy as "Puddin." She
scolded him as "Puddin" and loved him
as "Puddin." AS "Puddin" he was
cowed, driven and bullied, and as "Pud-
din" he was coaxed, wheedled and
caressed.
There is well-known editor Of one
of this country's great papers, a man of
stalwart frame, keen countenance, bril-
liant intellect. To his wife he is "Itty
one," and she to him is "Preshy" (pre.
cious).
1t is surprising that delicate, re-
fined, high-bred woman could best ex-
press her ardor for her husband in the
words "Snooks" and "Shoppy," yet
have known such to be the case; and
| trrl, tn.,,,I Ia.I
professor might object to being called
Hubby" but have seen him respond
to it with smile SO wide that the
| Cheshire cat wasn't in it.
One prominent literary man rarely
addresses his tiny young wife as any
thing but "Kid," which is not inap-
propriate If somewhat unmusical. But
it is usually the very little man with the
enormous wife whose ebulitions ofsen-
timental tenderness can only find ex-
preston in calling her "Baby."
These are by no means the vagaries
of youth and inexperience. was once
travelling in one of the western states,
when q groom of about 70 came aboard
with blushing bride of perhaps 65.
They soon became oblivious, and this
conversation was heard:
ue-Whose title Lammie?
She-Bof of us.
And perhaps all are familiar with the
overheard conversation between the
Concord school of philosophy professor
and the Vassar graduate:
v. G.-Darling?
Phi. Dyes, darling.
V. G.-Nothing-only darling.
Truly is not the god of love the god
of humor as well?-Detroit Free Press.
A Bit of Unneeded Advice.