The record-union., 1896-05-31


A Jockey cap like niger Joe
Wears down at Within races
Wuz perched upon her head in place
Wv one with silk laces.
A shirt with cuffs and collar
Like the Parson wears ter meetin,
With a big plaid necktie on it
Well, 1 felt jest like retreatin';
But enyWay l mustered up
My courage and sed, Mister,
I reckon you're my darter,
Or, by thunder, she's your sister,"
why, hello governor!' she. cried,
.'How's you and ma a-feelin?
Say, the road from here to our place
Must be pretty good fur Wheelin',
So / will ride along ahead
N tell them you're a comin,."
Then she straddled two small buggy
wheels
N off she went a-hummin'.
Well, bless me; Jest stood there
Kinder dazed like, fur a mint,
Then jumped aboard my buggy
N sed, Ned, guess We're in it,
If that ere gal kin run away
From US, want ter know it,
Then L grabbed my lines n whip n
shouted
Now, then, old felIer, go ftg'
The old horse quickly settled
Down ter biZness, fur I'm thinkin'
Thet like me old Ned was nettled,
Fur / saw his eyes a-winkin
\ quarter" right ahead Nv US
cloud Nv dust Wuz blOwin'
Where our Sal on her contrivance
Wuz jest everlastin' gOin'.
But when we reached old Bakers
We had overlook the racer,
Though the old nag had ter leg it
Since we undertook ter chase her.
Sed 1 ter darter Sally, we
VIII wait the supper, dearie,
TIL you get there with that critter,
n nope you won't be weary.
So now you see, ez I hev sed,
The wimmin's got ther notion
Thet they're the only implements
That keeps the world in motion;
They're gittin' jest like darter Sal
They wear mems pants m jackets,
N they say thet in the city
They go out on little rackets.
They're tryin' hard ter beat the men,
And want ter set ther PAGES.
They're ez frisky eZ a blind mule
With his leg outside ther traces.
If one should run fur President
1t wouldn't make me wonder.
EZ / have sed afore, it's plain
This world ez goin' ter thunder.
There is a prospect of there being on
the market at an early date a new tire,
puncture- proof and fully resilient, man
ufactured by Mayor Schieren of Brook
lyn. 1t is made of leather, with an in
ner air tube of the usual quality Of rub
Der.
The leather is a flexible variety Of the
style used for shoe soles and has been
treated by working sand and grit
through the pores so that it Is next tc
impossible to pierce ii with any instru-
ment A tack cannot be driven through
1t, whatever force is used.
The imitation Of the rubber air sheath
gives 1T the same yielding quality pos
sessed by other pneumatic tires, and
when dropped upon the floor it bounces
as high as those having an outer shoe
Of rubber and fabric. 1t is claimed that
it will not change its character when
wet. because Of having a waterproof
surface. The weight Of the tire is about
the same as the full road hose pipes.
New York Times.
It appears that cyclers are far less
liable to injury than walkers or rid
ers in carriages. Horseback riders are
safer even than those who go up stair:
to sleep. The Medical Record" says
that an analysis Of 1000 accident poll
cies ON which benefits were paiC
pavements, 243 by carriages or wagons
as by horse kicks or bites and AZ by
horseback riding; III were cut witt
edged tools or glass, 90 were hurt By
having weights fall on them and Z.
were hurt in bicycle accidents, whil'
Y were hurt by falling down stairs.
To be chased by yellow dog witt
one blue eye and one black C-@~,ndicate
a bad fall.
To see a small boy with slungsho
beside the road is a prophecy of a pune
ture.
If you pass a white horse driven b.
a red-halred lady your rim will spill
unless you say "cajandrum" and holt
up two fingers.
The rider who expectorates Tobacco
juice on the track viii lose a spoke.
If you take your machine to the re
pair shop 1t is sign that you will no
buy that new suit Of clothes
kicking the man who asks the max
Of your wheel is sign OF high honor
and riches within the year.
IztNulHS AllG " lANEA - a SAEiA VI III
double donkey.
To attempt to hold up a 2T5-poun
woman learning TO ride is a sign of
soft spot.
A new. change-speed gearing for bi
cvcles comprises an internally toothe
driving wheel, secured to the peda
shaft, an internally toothed sprocke
whell, journaled on the shaft, in gea
with the rear sprocket wheel; inter
mediate toothed gearing, in mesh wit
the driving wheel, a locking dog pivot
ed to the frame and a rod provided wit
a shoe designed to depress the dog an
to register with the recess in the whee
BY means of this attachment the gear
ing can be regulated to any degree c
speed required.