Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1896-12-03
HOW OLSON SQUARED 1T.
BY DAN QUIN.

III Ian *OANs
"Now I thoroughly saveys," re-
marked the old cattleman, refectively,
at a crisis in our last conversation when
the talk turned on men of small and
cowardly measure, Il thoroughly
saveys that taste for battle that turks
in the de6les of folks nature like a
wolf in the hills. Which I reckons
now that I, myself, is one Of the peace
fullest people who ever belted on gun;
but in my insincts-while never jesti-
hes or follows his example, cl'arly
apprehends the emotions of gent who
convenes with another gent all similar,
an expresses his views of him with
his gun, an Immediately precedes adj
journment sine die by skelpin' the OPP
position. Sech is human nature onre-
strained, an the same, while deplor-
able, is not surprisin'. -
But this yere Olson l has in my
mem'ry don't have no sech manly emo
tons as goes with a gun play. Which
Olson, takes pleasure in sayin', is
a alien an o rank outsider, an no
more born in this home of freedom
than Mexican. Olson is so cowardly
he's even furtive; an for low-f1ung
measly play let me tell you what Olson
does. It's shorely onery.
1T all arises years ago, back in Ten
nessee, an gets it's first start out of
hawg which is owned by Olson an
is downed by a gent named Hoskins-
Bill Hoskins. It's this way:
Back in Tennessee, in my dream
wreathed yooth, when anamiles goes
projectin' about permiscus, party has
to build his fences bull strong, hawg
tight, an boss high or he takes re-
suits. Which Hoskins don't make his
fences to conform to this yere roole
none; ieastwise they amt hawg tight
as is shown by one of Olson's hawgs.
''The hawg comes pirootin' about
IIoskins' fence, an he goes through
easy; an the way that invadin' anamile
turns Bills potatoes bottom up don't
bother him bit. He shorely loots
Bill's lot; that's whatever.
But Bill, perceivin' of Olson's hawg
layin' waste his crop, reaches down Il
Hawkins rifle, 80 to the pound, an
stretches the hawg. Which this is
where Bill falls into error. Layin'
aside them deficiencies in Bills fence,
it's cl'ar at glance hawg can't be
held responsible. Hawgs is ignorant
and tharfore innocent; an while hawgs
can be what Doc Poets calls a casus
belli, they can't be regarded as foe
legitimate.
Snow what Bill oughter done, if he
feels like this yere hawg's done put it
all over him, is to go an lay for Olson.
Sech action by Bill would have been
some excessive, some high, so to speak.
but it would have been line shot
Whereas KILN the hawgs is way to
one side of the mark, an under
However, as I states, Bill bein' hasty
that away, and oncapable of perhaps re-
fined reasonin', downs the pig, an
stands pat on it, waitin' for Olson to fill
his hand, if he feels SO moved.
Snow, that's where the cowardly
nature of this yere Olson begins to
shine. He's ugly es wolf about Bill
copperin' his hawg that away, but he
don't pack the nerve to go after Bill an
make a roundup of them grievances
An he amt allowin' to pass it up none
onreyenged neither. Now. here's what
Olson does; he 'sassinatcs Bills pet rae
coon.
That's right, pard; jest massacre a
pore, confdin' raccoon, who don't no
more stand in on that hawg KILN of
Bills than me an you-don't even adj
wise it.
Nov, allow you saveys all thar is
to know about raccoon. No? Well,
raccoon's like this: In the first place
he's plump ingenious, an amt lookin'
for no gent to hold out kyards or ring a
cold deck on him. That's straight; a
racccon is simple-minded that way; an
his impressive trait is, he's meditativc.
Besides bein' nacherally thoughtfr, as
+ to his own affairs, I might say a raccoon
is a heap melancholy he jest sets thar
an absorbs melancholy from merely
bein' alive.
But If raccoon is melancholy or
gets wrapped in thought that away, it's
after all his own play. It's to his credit
that once when he's tanned he's got q