davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1896-10-18
BRIT MARI AGES-DEATHS.

TBirth marriage and death notices sent by mali
Will not be inserted. They mus be handed in a.
either of the publication Offices and be intorsei
with the name and residence of persons authorized
to have the same published.
The San Francisco call., 1896-10-18

Needles were first made in 1916. whel
ten was good days work.
The San Francisco call., 1896-10-18
GOLD MINING EXCHANGE.
ocK AND BOND EXCHANGE.

SATURDAY. Oct 17-lO:3o A. n
uSITED STATES BONDS.
BID. Askedl Bid asked
9 4s comp. .iO6 U Is reg.~ l07H
Do new lssuel 1914
The San Francisco call., 1896-10-18

TAR G. &. C'DONNELL, 1905 MARKET, COR.
~ Golden Gate ave. diseases Of women specialty.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
THE STRUGGLING YOUNG AUTHOR

He Expresses Some Views Concern.
ing the Reading of Manuscripts.
II have heard people say" said the
struggling young author. 'that they
thought what manuscripts they had
sent to the publisher had been returned
to them unread. I think they must be
mistaken about this. My own impress
sion is that the manuscripts are al
ways read; and 1 say this after an
unbroken experience Of manuscripts
returned. It would be the height of
folly, after the publisher had spent a
lot Of money for wading through the
great mass of stuff submitted, in the
hope of finding gems-it would be the
height Of folly not to winnow the
stuff carefully. I believe the work is
carefully and faithfully done.
ooh, I dare say that after a reader
had read about forty successive manu-
scripts from the same contributor, not
one of them revealing the faintest
CLEAN of humor or the slightest scintil
la of common sense, I dare say he
might, when he came to the forty
first manuscript, now and then skip a
dot over one of the is, or, possibly,
not stop to scan closely the cross on
every t.; but what I mean to say is
he'd read it fairly, no doubt of that.
mo, sir; the things are read; I'm
sure of that; but are they read appre.
ciatively?
"A-ah! That's the question '-New
York Sun.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

He Made u Dive for H3s Vest
banking combination of woman's in
tuition and a cloudy morning against
the unequivocal assertion made by taht
clock?"
ooh, suppose the clocks all right"
she answered carelessly, as if it were
a matter Of small Importance anyway,
.'but I would have more confidence
in it this morning if hadn't seen the
children playing with it last night
after you had set it. Somehow that
seems to have destroyed my confidence
in
At the first mention Of the children
he had made a dive for his vest to con-
suit his watch. and before she could
finish a man about half-dressed was
moving rapidly in the direction Of the
children's room with one large slipper
held aloof in his right hand.
The sounds that preceded from the
children's room a moment thereafter
awakened all the neighbors and set
them to guessing what the children
have done to deserve such severe pun
ishnent at 3 o'clock in the morning.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
EXPERIENCES WITH BURGLARS.

Tragic Story and Another With a
" Humorous Side.
Burglar stories are Rife nowadays
There are hundred experiences told
of burglars or would-be burglars for
every robbery, and those are numer:
GUS. One Of these is true story and
Of double tragedy. It is a story Of
the rash use Of firearms. It was 3
young man who discovered the burglar
He heard first slight noise outside
the house, was sure he heard steps,
and, looking out, saw a light. He aim.
ed at the light as he took his revolver
and fred. There was no further noise
and he went to sleep, content that he
had frightened away the burglar il
there had been one. In the morning it
was found that his revolver had done
good execution. A man, heavily armed
and well supplied with burglars tools
was found dead outside the house door,
It was a great shock to the man who
had killed him. He had killed hll.
man being in cold blood, and he was
inconsolable. He was a fine young fel.
low, with life of promise before him.
It was in vain that his friends endeav-
ored to console him by saying that the
man was evidently desperate and other
lives might have been taken if he had
been allowed to carry out his plans
But the, murderer, as he considered
himself, was not to be comforted He
became the victim Of settled melan.
choly, and before the end Of year he
had succumbed to his feelings.
Another story has a comic side. She
was a nice old lady, who never missed
an opportunity to laud the virtues of
her departed spouse. A friend, seeing
heavy cane standing at the head of
her bed one day, remarked upon it:
YES" said the widow, "James always
kept it there in case Of burglars. James
was very brave. Why, remember one
night we heard noise in the house,
and we thought burglars might be
around. James got up"-the visitors
listened, cold chills in anticipation of a
thrilling story, creeping up and down
the spine-"James got up" went on the
story teller, land slammed our bed:
room door as hard as he could and
locked it."-New York Times. - =
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
The telegram of the Desc RI


EYES," said Joseph Bonner. superin
tendent Of telegraph for the Southern
Pacific railroad, telegraph poles along
the line have a hard time Particularly
is this so out West, where the poles are
costly and stations are few and far be.
tween. Now, out in the Arizona desert
the poles are played the deuce with
generally. There is a sort of wood
pecker that picks the posts absolutely
to pieces, thinking there may be inGectS
inside Of the wood. They hear thc
humming and haven't sense enough tc
know what causes it. Then near the
hills the black bears imagine that each
pole contains a swarm Of bees and they
climb to the top and chew the glass in
sulators to pieces, but the sandstorms
are the things that create the most
havoc. When the wind blows strongly
the sand Is drifted at a rapid rate, and
the grains cut away the wood at a fear
ful rate. 1t was a common thing tt
have an oak pole worn to shaving in
days time, while have seen poles
just ground to the surface of tIle earth
during single storm Things GOT SC
bad out there that the company decided
to substitute steel poles for the oah
and cedar, but that didn't remedy the
evil at all. The sand just wore away
the metal on each side Of the pole until
the center was as sharp ais razor, an6
all the Indians in the country used te
shave themselves on the edge. We Fl
nally managed to fix things. We ms,
painted the poles with soft pitch. Tha
pitch caught the sand. and now every
pole IS about two feet thick and solid
as a rock. New. Orleans Times Demo
Graf.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Odd Stories Of Life.

It is her opinion 1T the present time
that no reform movement is fully
equipped unless it has brakes on ii.
You see," she explained, II tried to
reform George"
''Of course said the engaged girl,
that's what you married him for,
wasn't it?" ..r..
We'll, not entirely answered tue
young married woman, hesitatingly.
"And, of course, you didn't succeed"
put in the older married woman; 81
did-at least, got him started, and
now there's no stopping him. You
see, I got him to stop drinking first.
He didn't drink much, anyway; but
got him to stop it entirely, and for a
few weeks he was so CROSS and irrita-
BILE that I almost regretted that I'd
done it. But he got over that, and
was so pleased with my success that I
undertook to get him to stop smoking.
He said he felt so much better since
he stopped drinking that he was begin
ming to believe there was a good deal
of benefit to be derived from abstemi-
BUSINESS, and he stopped smoking. It
was three months before he was in fit
condition to inhabit the same house
with a human being and two or three
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

things that q girl is naturally inter
ested in. We have to turn to a part Of
the paper devoted to men to find any
thing about any Of these things"
"Oh. that is natural just now. You
see
There's no politics on that page,
either" interrupted the girl in bloom
ers. You cannot find out how to reg
lister or in what colors the ballots will
be printed or where the speeches are
being made or anything else that is in
teresting. Then there isn't any golf
news or tennis news or anything Of
that sort-nothing but a lot Of stuff
about homes and gowns and husbands
and other trash that no one cares any
thing about. What is needed is a
woman's page that is devoted to mat
ters that women are really interested
in; to fashions that they will wear; to
bicycle schools instead Of kindergar-
tens. You see, we've been moving too
fast for these editors at least some Of
us have"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
EARLY Morning Tragedy

Ting-a-ling-ling B-z-z-z! Ting
a-ling!
"Confound that alarm clock!" he ex-
claimed as he turned over In bed.
''There is never morning that don't
regret that I ever permitted it to come
into the house."
"Permitted it," repeated his wife in
a drowsy way, as if she were too
sleepy to enter a vigorous protest, and
yet felt that she Ought not to let such
a statement go unchallenged. "You
bought it yourself. No one else want
cd such 4 changing thing in the house."
'Well, it's the only thing in the house
that can rely upon," he retorted. II
admit that regret it when it gets
after me in the morning sometimes,
but when I get thoroughly walked up
I realize its value. There isn't any
thing else in the house that isn't more
or less affected by the weather. If it
isn't just as light rs you think it ought
to be you turn over and so to sleep
again. II tie sun stayed behind a
cloud and I didn't have this alarm
clock the chances are would sleep
until noon. You have to see just SO
much light shining in the window or
you won't believe it's time to get up,
and that is where the alarm clock
comes in. You knew 1 wanted to get
up early this morning. but I will bet
[ wouldn't be awake now if it had
been left to you.'' 80
''That is right" she admitted. II
would not have walked you up at this
time. What time is it, anyway"
"Six O'clock" he answered promptly.
''That was the time set the alarm
clock for.''
II did not ask you about the alarm
clock" she retorted, as she made her
self as comfortable as possible under
the bedclothes while he got up and be-
gan to dress. II asked you what time
it was. It is dark enough to be mid
night"
"You heard the clock go off, didn't
you?' he asked sarcastically. Are you
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Why Not?

He had some thoughts of proposing.
1t was natural that his thoughts
should take some such course, for her
fortune was figured at something over
a million, while his was figured at
something less than $685. just at that
moment, although he probably would
not have admitted it.
Then it was that the subject of con-
versation Grifted round to engagement
rings, and he mentioned that in some
countries men Wore them.
"And the strange feature Of it all is"
he said, chat the girls provide them"
''Yes?' she returned interrogatively.
''Oh, yes he replied promptly. Il
can show you extracts from books to
prove it, in addition to referring you to
people who know all about it them
selves" F.,
''What of it?'' she asked somewhat
coldly.
He was trifie staggered by both the
manner and the question, but he en-
deavored to make the best of it.
ooh, nothing much,' he answered;
"only it does hot seem exactly nat
ural"
Most natural thing in the world, y
she asserted.
Jaw, now, you don't really think
that is exactly the proper thing, do
you?" he asked, rather Disconnected
Why not?"
He made hasty effort to collect his
thoughts, and then suggested that it
seemed to be expecting too much of a
girl.
"Such things seem to come more
more gracefully from the men, he
said.
Perhaps you are right she answer
ed. "but it's mere tribe anyway, and
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

times begged him, for heavens sake.
to go to smoking again, but he would
not"
"1on ought to be gratified to think
that yru have so much influence with
him, said the engaged girl.
ut must be very gratifying to have a
husband who neither smokes nor
drinks" said the older married wo-
man. '"There are not very many of
them"
cts a good thing" returned the
young woman, bitterly.
"Gouu thingr' exclaimed both the
others
eyes, good thing" repeated the
young married woman, with empha-
SIS. "A reform movement that you
can't stop when you want to is one of
the most annoying and disa greeable
things that it is possible to have
around the house. My husband thinks
he feels so much better that he has be-
CONF Il crank. He doesn't believe in
pepl.er or condiments of any descrip-
tion any more, and has instructed me
to dispense with them entirely in the
hor' ~
''Outrayeous!'
''He considers coffee injurious, and
won't have it on the table, and he in
sists that candy will drive any woman
to an early grave"
"Prepostcrous"
"Isn't it? But there doesn't seem to
be any help for it. Hes says that now
he's started he's going to reform the
household from top to bottom''
"That's the way with men, my dear
You marry one to reform him. and he
thinks you have married him to be re-
formed" and the older married wo-
man looked very wise, while the en-
gagged girl looked in the direction Of a
box of bon-bons on the table and be-
gan to think that, possibly, she would
be better not to try to reform Harry
at all.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
There Were Others.

Gam I the only woman you ever
loved?" she asked.
"Oh, no." he answered, promptly;
you are the SIXTH
'"The SIXTH" she cried, suddenly re-
Ieving his shoulder of the weight of
her head.
Yes" he said, coldly, "there were
five before you-my mother, an aunt
and three Sisters
And thereafter she endeavored to be
more specific when she asked questions.
Chicago Post.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Dropped the Subject.

It was some little time after the
honeymoon.
DO you know she said, "you looked
positively idiotic when you proposed to
meY
"Well?'
He looked at her and she looked at
him, and somehow neither seemed to
have any desire to press the matter
further. 1t was evident to even the
most unobserving that they We're on
dangerous ground.-Chicago Post.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
More Detective Acumen

"How did you spot him?" asked the
reporter of the detective who had Just
nabbed a brilliant young confidence
gentleman, disguised as bloomer
girl. '"The disguise is perfect"
II happened to catch him blushinr. :"
said the astute sleuth-hound of the
ashington Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Man without a Memory

1H3n vS1t1UuC u N1em0Ty.
Jay-Why have you that string tied
about your finger?
Day-So I wouldn't forget an errand
for my wife.
And what's that handkerchief tied
round your arm for?'
$50 wouldn't forget the string"
"And what does she want you to do?"
I've been trying to think Of it for the
last hour."-Tit-Bits,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
A Descendant.

After much study a celebrated sci
enlist has determined that according
to the laws Of physiology the above
will closely represent a descendant of
bicycling parents. The great develop
ment Of the muscles of the jaw is due
to persistent ancestral gum chewing
Judge.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
The Dutiful Seryant

Master addressing his Irish manser.
vant)-Terence, I'm going into the
country to stay at my mothers place.
If Mr.. Dudley calls tell him that I'll be
back on Tuesday.
Terence-Begorra, T will sorr. And
(after a pause) what will I be after
saying to him if he doesn't call, sorr?-
Tit-Bits.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
A Burning Shame

II may not
Sigurd the Viking gazed modify at
the funeral pyre of his father.
learn my living, but
He gave the word to apply the torch.
Il at least urn my dead!"
The flames shot up to the Scandina-
Wan sky, while the bronze crematory
vessel was secured a bright red.-Jour-
nal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Continual.

"She married him because she SYM
pathized with his condition, didn't
she"'
eyes"
':How is she getting on?''
Il understand that she has been
deeply touched ever since -Detroit
Free Press.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

The girl in boomers was thoroughly
Disguised. She haC devoted herself to
a woman's magazine for a matter Of
half an hour or so, and had tried the
womap's page of a daily newspaper.
1T seems an outrage that they
should impose upon us to such an ex-
traordinary extent she said, at last,
as he threw down the paper.
The girl in the tennis suit looked at
her inquiringly.
''They make such a pretense of GET
ting up news especially for u.s." ex-
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Wayside SubtIeties

Wayworn Watson-These here news
paper writers is too high for me. What
is the difference between livin', want
to know?
Perry Patettic-Heaps. Miles. Oceans.
A man can exist on bread and meat,
but he has to have booze to really live
Cincinnati Enquirer
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Jealousy,

"Politics, as I must admit" said the
gentleman with the face that showed
traces Of the grease paint habit, ''poli-
tics is a serious interferer with us Of
the profession"
Keeps people away from the thea
ters, does it?" asked the non-profes-
Sional.
. "That is the mere mercenary effect.
But the damage to art is greater still.
It crowds us out Of the papers, SIR
indianapolis Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Said 1T To His Face.

Mother (reprovingly)-Willy, you
should never talk behind any ones
back. Back-biting is a mean sin. If
you ever have cause to say anything
against another boy say it to his face.
Mother Gas Willy comes in an hour
later with torn and dusty clothes and
his face adorned with handsome
black eye)-Why, what in the world
has happened to you, Willie?
Willy (between sobs) Why-er-er-
I had something to say against Mickey
Brannigan and I took your advice and
said it before his face.-Spare Mo-
ments.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
M
N,N!,u re l9zlM0l
HNU9E
A Costly Luxury.

A Costly Luxury.
The complexion specialist had found
m opportunity to say a word to the
summer girl.
Il can remove that TAM" she said,
with slight show Of professional
pride.
Remove it,"
The summer girl showed her aston
Shment.
why, yes" replied the complexion
specialist. II assure you it can be
lone."
But think what it cost me to get It,"
protested the summer girl. do you
suppose I can afford to throw it away
30 soon Chicago Post. 49,.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Good For Something.

Mrs. Burd-For mercy's sake, what il
the world did Tidy ever marry Tom
Swan for? He is homely as a hedge
renee, there's no shape to him and then
ne is such shiftless crittur.
Mrs. krane-I know; but then he's
such handy man around the house.
Il!dy says she always feels perfectly
sa1e leaving the children and the cat
and dog with Tom.-Boston Transcript
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
They Don't Speak Now,

Maud-Your young Mr.. Dandler does
not seem to know it is bad form to
grab a young lady by the elbow when
he is walking with her. ..
Irene-It would cure him, dearie, if
he ever grabbed that elbow of yours
Chico 20 Tribune, -..s.'i
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

Absolutely Va1ue1ess and Uninter-
estfnE.
claimed the girl in boomers, land in
,variably fail so miserably"
"Why, the fashion page" began
the girl in the tennis suit, by way Of
protest.
absolutely valueless and uninter-
esting," broke in the girl in boomers.
Nothing but gowns, gowns, gowns
and lingerie and lace, and not one
word about-er-er--what really inter-
ests us now. Why, half the things
wear are not mentioned on woman's
pages or in woman's magazines. Chi
cago Evening Post.
ooh. we'll" explained the girl in the
tennis suit, apologetoally, "yo1 must
not forget that it is only recently that
you began to--er-wear EN-
"But it is not entirely matter of
bifurcation, either protested the girl
in boomers. There is very little about
yachting caps, golf caps. fedora hats,
toe-cl:ps. handle bars. yoad records.
Diamond frames. centuries. cigarettes.
knee action, neck; - and oil the other
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

He had been engaged for several
years, and one day last week she re-
marked:
'Have you noticed those clocks IN
the jewelry store on Main street?'
mo; is there anything peculiar about
them?" -
eyes, they name the day."-Texas
Siftings. ...-
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
Not a Desirable Acquaintance.

Winks-Whsl sort Of man is Binks
anyway?
Jinks-Oh, he is one of those men
who, il they should happen to read that
Charles Dickens " AZ born on Friday,
the second day ,sf February 1oz4,
would take keen 'eligtt in show az
that February =. 1:..1 .se.i on Tuesd.,a. .
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
In a Breach of Promise Suit

Fair Plaintiff Honor, he car
ried lock of my hair all the way to
California.
Defendant only carried it for a
joke.
His Honor-Well; T think that is car
rying a joke too far.-Washingto
Times
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

Mr.. Ffost-I must turn you away; I
have no work for you
Rugged Strong-Bless yer, sir; bless
yer.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05
and that the biographer in consequences
was wrong. -SOmerville Journal.
Human Nature

Her Father-I don't want you to have
anything more to do with that scamp
T'avers. He's a lowdown, despicable,
ras'al'v whe!p. s
Emily-Why, father!
Her Father-Not another word. That
is what he is. Why, he is going to vote
the opposition ticket.-Philadelphi
North American. -. 7.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1896-11-05

What Of It
deemed it wise to give the matter fur.
Their thought.