The daily morning journal and courier., 1896-06-20
HIS TROUBLES BEG UN.
The Insurance Agent After the Newly
 Made Husband.

The Insurance Agent After the Newly
 Made Husband.
 (From the St, Paul Dispatch.)
 When man makes preparations to get married he takes his life in his hand. Unless he is a brave lad and stands ready to sacrifice his comfort at all hours of the day he had better keep out of it. Since I have been preparing for the great event of my peculiar ca reer, I have been beset. As soon as it was announced that l was to be mar ried an accident insurance agent float ed before me-
 You are going to take a trip" says he.
 Who told your" says I.
 "The paper" says he.
 Well" said I, "whose business isit?" q thought" he stammered, that you would like an accident policy
 Think again. quoth I. This is no accident. It is the result of careful de- liberation
 You ought to have policy to pro- tect you on the trip" said he.
 Where do you think I am going to ride; on the cowcatcher?" I replied.
 Certainly not" he said, but the train-something may happen to the train.''
 Well" said I, smiling gleefully, Ego and insure the train then"
 You misunderstood me" he said, blushing You are in danger while you're on the trip"
 "Well,' I said, looking away off to- ward the Seven Corners, q know somebody who is in danger unless he takes trip, and a sudden one at that" Then he vanished.
 He wasn't out of the door when a second agent appeared. He represent ed straight life concern, where you have to die to get the best of 1t.
 Do you need policy?" he asked.
 q need lots of it." I answered, "to prevent me from laying violent fists on you fellows"
 "Your wife needs protection" said he
 q have no wife as yet" said I, "but if can't protect her I'll have guar dian appointed for her"
 q mean" he said, that she will be without protection if you die"
 "So would any wife under like cir cumstances,' quoth l, and l am proba- ply the best little quother that ever rooted for ball team.
 You shouldn't leave her without protection" he ventured.
 "It's none of your business if leave her at South St. Paul." said I, wrath fully, and it must have scared him, for he gulped down choke or two.
 You don't know her." continued; "she isn't in an orphan asylum. We are not going to get married for protec- tion, you lobster-faced cucumber"
 "No," he murmured, but suppose you die?"
 ''It's an American prerogative," said I: this time very testify, people have been known to do it before; in fact, it's a habit the people have. They always do that when they're due. Whats the matter with you, do you want me to live all the time?"
 q think" he said, edging away, rthat I'll come in again.
 Do" I replied, as I returned to my roast of the umpire, ''and we'll make it to a finish
 The third man who came wanted to sell me a book on ''How to Treat q wife.' but inasmuch as l had already received instructions over and over again on that score, I gave him the chilly mitt The fourth fellow had a work on How to Treat a Husband" He's the only man who made any headway with me whatever. I looked mon him as a personal friend, and we had drink together and he wished me the best of luck. Five walters came in 4. bi-o ont for tho bridal summers hut told them I had telegraphed south for my brothers, and they are the best walters I ever saw. At least I think they are, because only one of them is married to date.