Evening star., 1896-07-03
FOURTH OF JULY HINTS,
How 10 Be Thoroughly Happy
Though Humane,

Hrom tne hound
1. When the Fourth Of July is not more
than week or two off, it is well to make
your preparations fittingly to celebrate
the glorious Independence day. and not
wait until the day itself to get ready
III. To er Joy thoroughly all the pleas
ures Of the blissfuI anniversary. purchase
pair Of tight-fitting asbestos gloves.
With pair Of asbestos gloves on, you
could hold the pin of pinwheel in your
hand without getting your hand burned
III. Be very kind in these late June days
to your uncles and your aunts and your
grandmothers. When the writer was a
small boy he was very kind to seven IN
cles, Six aunts and two grandmothers for
fourteen days before the Fourth Of July.
with the result that the seven unclanzgaye
him half dollar each, the six aunts pre-
sented him with quarter apiece, and the
two grandmothers Joined in presenting him
with fve-dollar bill. SO that on the morn
ing Of the Fourth he was the proud pos
SCISSOR Of SO: and SO. with firecrackers
selling at the rate of ten for cent.
meant that the writer could have 10gu
hrecrackers to set of. 1t must be said
however that he set off only 5000 OF them
and spent the balance on soda water. two
glasses of which, like good boy. he gave
to his two grandmothers.
~. When the Fourth comes, do not for
get to rise up at 3:.,0 o'clock in the morn
ing. There is not much fun in setting OF
hrecraCkers in broad daylight when every
body is wide awake: and. besides this, the
big boys always start in with cannon and
IL you lie in bed after $50 o'clock you are
liable to miss the greatest noise of the day
V. If you live in a neighborhood where
there are a number of reckless boys, do
not fail to wear a mask Reckless boys
do not look where they throw their lighted
crackers a rule, and II has happened
that innocent little fellows have had their
noses burned by the carelessness of others
mask will save the bridge OF your ncse
and. of course. you all know that il the
bridge of your nose is burned IL is a hard
thing to get over.
VI. Do not throw your torpedoes at the
poor little cats that wander forlornly
about. The poor little cats are so soft that
the torpedCes merely hurt them, without
going of $50 that neither you nor the cats
can possibly enjoy the fun of II.
VII Keep on the right side of the cook.
Do not irritate her. and give her to under
stand that she is the dearest incest old
cook in the world, for she is the custodian
of all the empty lard and mustard cans in
the house; and when you come right down
to it, there is more fun and noise to be had
out of a bundle of frecrackers set off in a
lard or mustard can than in two packs
touched of in the open air. And. what is
more, If you burn your fingers she will in
most cases be the person you can reach the
quickest. and who will soothe your trouble
and pain by putting flour and butter on
your blisters.
VIII Be careful where you lay your
lighted pieces of punk. The writer once
put a lighted piece Of punk the floor OF
the back piazza, and, forgetting it, sat
down upon it five minutes later. There
was an explosion right away. of grief.
TX. Be generous to your little girl friends
Remember that when your frecrackers
have given out they may have some tor
pedoes left.
x. When night comes on, no matter how
early In the morning you may have got up.
remember not to get sleepy. The best part
OF the Fourth OF July. after all, Is in the
skyrockets and Roman candles and pin
wheels.
NJ. Do not under any circumstances set
on sissers in the palm of your hand. The
writer did that once. and he has really
never enjoyed the Fourth of July since.
XII. And, finally. don't forget that you
are an An erican. who will some day be a
man or woman. and try to do things ON the
Fourth which, when you get to be q man
or a woman. will make you proud OF the
day. yourself and your country. This hint
Is, after all, the most important one of ALL
and IL you will ask your uncles or your
aunts or your dear old gra ndmothers to tell
you all about 1.-THE day how II came to
be and what 1t means-now. a week or two
before the day dawns. you will enjoy IL all
the more. and will be happy to think that
you live In the land which is the only one
that Celebrates ''the glorious Fourth"