davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

in the territory, and in line for the best
the people have to given when Arizona
becomes state.
Governor-elect Stephens is expected home
from his Hot Springs pilgrimage to-day.
Now that the location of the capital has
been permanently settled III Jefferson City's
favor Sheriff Some has sold his blood
hounds.
Fires were built Tuesday in the furnaces
of Nevada's new smelter, the plant for the
location of which there public spirited
citizens put up a bonus of $4,000.
The Barton county court offers reward
of cent and a quarter each for crow
scalps brought in during the next thirty
days. The birds have done great damage
in the cornfields in portions of the county,
one farmer having lost the entire product
of forty acres through their depredations.
Carthage wants the other end of that
Southwest road, for which Jefferson City
announces its Willingness to pay $4,000 in
cash if made the northern terminus.
Nevada probably gets more avoirdupois
for the money it pays out in police salaries
than any other town in the country on a
similar investment, the average weight of
its guardians of the peace being 2O414
pounds.
Former residents of Pike county to the
number of $50 who are now citizens of st.
Louis indulged in their second annual re-
union and banquet Monday night. The
members of the colony have an organiza-
tion, of which Judge Broadhead is pres
ident and Colonel Pat Dyer chairman of the
executive committee.
Sedalia's beautiful new high school build
ing has become SO well known away from
home that inquiries come from the most
distant parts of the country for views,
plans and descriptions of it.
"a $50 vag fine assessed while You watt
is Sedalias holiday greeting for the tramps
who happen to stray that way.
Guy Lindsey prominent member os
Louis James company, now touring Mis-
souri, is a ST. Louis man, and was d class
mate of John r. Gentry, of Pettis county.
at Washington university in 80.
The valuation of Pettis county's real and
personal property for taxation purposes
during the coming year amounts to about
Sl1.0O0.OOO.
Only 2 per cent of the 1,40O people in
Grant City are candidates for the 1920
postoffice job.
Maryville has the required $1,000 within
reach for securing the next state bicycle
meet, provided the railroads will make, a
flat one fare round trip rate from all parts
s of the state for the event.
The authorities in Carterville are so far
behind the times that they still permit de-
fenseless preachers to become the victims
of donation party assaults
Hamilton has adopted curfew ordi-
nance, with is as the age limit.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
Beating the Authorities.

From the New York Press.
The man who carried a carpetbaz ana
hay-colored whiskers stood on the corner
chuckling hoarseIy to himself. and when
ne thought no one was looking, slapped his
thigh uproariously. Being of a friendly dis
ner strolled across and accosted him.
Say" said the stranger. I've been
hearin' sech lot er baout ther sharpers
see it."
Nor" inquired the policeman. tenta-
lively.
Nav! Why cts ez easy to fool ther
authorities ez ter skin er polecat. Up on
ther next block one of ther special inspect
ors seen me an fined me er dollar on er-
count er the moo law agin spittin' on ther
pavement
did you pay it?"
yep! He'd to, fer he seen me. an I
knowed It. but"
He chuckled again.
Say. thet's only ten minutes ergo, an
since then spit forty-eight timesP'
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
The Resourceful Pops.
nm the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
Some of TIE Populists are ingenious
chaps, and IL they would put their invent
iveness into some useful forms they might
perhaps contribute nearly as much to the
progress as they do to the humor of the
world. Venerate. for instance, the latest
scheme of the Populistic state committee
of Kansas for collecting a fund to pay
the outstanding bills contracted in this
years campaign. The Populist state ad-
ministration, with the illustrisus gentle
man at its head who is to blow blood in
the ears of the capitalists is soon to come
into power and thousands of the brethren
are anxious to do the state some service,
for compensation. In fact, great zeal is
shown, and Topeka is sure to be congested
with Populists. Enter the financers of the
state committee. They decide to open a
sort of political intelligence office. They
buy fat blank book Every fellow who
applies for an Office can have his name en-
tered in this book on payment of one
American dollar. From time to time the
governor-elect is notified of the contents of
this registry book. Five hundred dollars
is the beggarly sum which the state COM
mittee wishes to raise. but the proceeds
ought to be at least $4,000 This plan is
the only sound financial programme pro-
posed by the Populists.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
HoKB SMITH AND sANcHo PANzA.

Immortalized by Holy Writ by drama
and by romancer's art, three great person
ages are known to the world whose skill in
dealing out even-handed justice and in PEN
etrating false pretenses has been nothing
short of inspiration. The first was King
Solomon: the second, Portia; the third,
Sancho Panza. Who does not remember
old Sancho, when the duke had made him
governor of Barataria, and he set about
adjusting the differences of his subjects?
When has lived a judge, be ever so rich
his ermine, who got at the truth of evi-
dence with such consummate skill as
Sancho Panza in the case of the woman
and the herdsman? Who but an overflow
ering genius could have devised the test
by which it was discovered that the woman
was abundantIy able TO protect her purse,
and therefore should have been able to
protect her honor. Indeed, of the three
distinguished characters mentioned. many
select Sancho as entitled 10 highest ad-
miration, though our purpose at this time
is not so much TO discriminate between
them as to record the coming of another
jurist who is worthy to stand by their side
and drink from the fountain of fame and
glory.
This new Daniel come TO judgment is no
less parsonage than the Hon. Hoke
Smith, late secretary. of the, interior, and
to sustain his worthiness to be named in
the same category with King Solomon,
Portia and Sancho Panza we have only to
relate the contents of special dispatch
from Atlanta, Ca, to the New York Sun.
One DR.. Powell had caused the arrest
of Mrs. NJ. L. Henson on the charge that
she had robbed him of S45, and Mr.. Hoke
Smith was employed by the woman to de-
fend her. The doctor went upon the stand
and swore that Mrs. Henson had come to
his Office for a prescription, and, after he
had compounded it, he informed her there
would be no charge for the medicine if she
would only kiss him. To this Mrs. Henson
consented, says the doctor, and while the
bill was thus being settled the woman
passed her arm around his waist and
plucked. pocketbook from his hip pocket.
All of this the woman denied. declaring
that when the doctor made his kissing pro-
posal she ran out of his office and to her
own home with her lips invioTate.
] NOW comes t1ohe oHiIlh iAIV aStioiA'
First, he required the doctor, who was a
very sportly man, to stand with his back
to the jury. Then he cast himself into the
doctor arms as had been testified his cli-
,ent did and disclosed to the astonished jury
that it was a physical irnpossibilIty for
either himself or his client to reach far
enough around that rotund form to ap-
proach the hip pocket. 1t need only be
added that the Jury found a,yerdict for the
woman without leaving their seats, and
true virtue thus received its Just reward
But what of the genius that SO unerringly
guided justice to her goal2 OF him we say
with shylock:
40. wise and upright judge!
How much more elder art thou than thy
looks!'
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
Wheat Consumption Per Heos.

From the New York Mail and Express.
The astonishing and most gratifying rise
in the price of wheat has started all sorts
of statistical speculations and calculations
on the subject of wheat that are OF more
or less interest to the public. Among these
is the calculation of the average annual
consumption OF wheat per capita in the
United States. This has been computed in
former years at 4.67 bushels. 1t is unfor-
tunate that this calculation has been some
what confused by giaring inaccuracies in
the official statistics bearing upon the SUBJ
ject. The discrepancy in recent years be-
tween the quantity of wheat on hand, and
what there would have been If this estimate
and those for crop production were correct,
has invited n re-examination of the data
A review of the official figures available
on this subject shows that, taking 4315
pounds of flour as the average product
from bushel of wheat, the average an
nual consumption per capita is about AT
bushels of wheat. This for a population
of 100000 would give an aggregate annual
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
The Doe Slayer of the oznrks.

FROM the New York Sun.
In a hunting trip to the Ozarks some
weeks ago. the boy orator of Salt creek
succeeded in talking one doe to death 1t
seems, however. that there was other
game The Hon. Jim Jones of Arkansas:
the Hon. William Jabberwock Stone of
Missouri, and other Popocratic philoso-
piers were among the hunters. They
brought down one programme. and it has
Just been exhibited. OF course It is silver
talk. These eminent chasers chase nothing
else. Silver talk for four years more. Sill
yer speakers in every county; silver clubs:
national bureau of silver speakers at
Washington. Then there is to be a roll
OF honor, which is to be guarded by the
boy himself, and to contain the names of
the silver spouters whose shouting has the
most volume and area. At this point the
offices come in sight, and the heart of the
spouter begins to treble it's speed.
"A place on the roll of honor will be the
strongest essential for preferment 10 sue
cessful Popocratic candidate for president
in 1900" What magnificent offer this is,
to be sure, and what frenzy of loquacity
it ought to inspire among the Reputation
spouters. And what a multitudinouS wag
ging of tongues is preparing, If the man
who talked the doe to death and his COM
radeS in the OZarks chase know what they
are about. Within three months the ma
tional bureau of volunteer speakers means
to have 5000 howlerS SiXteen-to-oneing at
the top of their voices and the full ten
sion of their vocal chords, and the howl is
to be kept up until 1900. provided the howl
ers can stand the strain; and If they can't,
ii is expected that new elocutionistS will
arise to take the places of these martyrs
with wornout throats. So for four years
the silver horn is to blow.
This programme is worthy of the de-
claiming child, and has so tender a SIM
plicity that one can hardly help pitying it.
1t has not occurred to its inventor that
even if 5000 men can be induced to make
spectacle of themselves by bowling for sill
yer in various parts of. the country, nobody
can induce persons who are not incurable
cranks as to silver to go and hear further
vociferations about it. The country is not
permanent debating school, and the reci-
tation of pieces is not the main employ
| ment of American citizens. They get all
they need of that sort of thing in presi
Dental year. For the next four years they
are going to work, not talk. They have
succeeded in keeping the gold standard, and
they are setting out to make money under
1t once more, now that the fear of repudia-
tion has been removed, Money talks, and
boy oratory is a wind that turns no wheels
but its own.
There is only one boy in the. country who
could talk doe to death; and there is only
one boy who is capable of believing that
the United States prefer talk to business,
and that the issue of 1900 can be foreseen
and supplied in 1896. Happy boyi At least
he has job AS custodian of the roll OF
honor, or dishonor, he has a post worthy
of his talents.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
Reed, the stern schooIma.ter

From. the Turf. Field and Farm. ~
While Speaker Thomas B. Reed was in
California he visited Palo Alto. While Mr..
Gallagher, who has charge, was receiving
the CONCENTRATIONS OF his eminent guest,
the former remarked:
Mr.. Reed. don't think you remember
Mr.; Reed replied: mo. cannot say that
7 do"
Well" said Mr.. Gallagher. 81 was one
oL your pupils when you taught over at
Alviso. and you gave me a whinnin1 one
day that I have never forgotten"
Wen, l think 1t must have done yot,
good, replied Mr.. Reed. "and thin< Won
are a credit to anyone's class, and I am
proud to meet you, even IL you have turned
teacher and understand so thoroughly that
kindness is taking the place of the rod IN
educating the young"
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
The National Bank Notes.
From the chicago rimes-Herald.

The argument from economy so often
made in favor of the greenbacks, that they
cost the government nothing, while at the
same time they afford safe currency for
the people, has already been shown to be fall
lacious. They are not economical, for they
will have cost the government over $780,
600 900 more than would have been the case
if they had been funded at the time of
the resumption of specie payment into the
4 per cent bonds of 1907. That they are
not safe We have had ample demonstration
in the past three years an experience that
is likely to be repeated at any period In the
future, as long as they are outstanding.
These popular fallacies having been ex-
posed by Comptroller Eckels, there remains
to be shown that the impression that the
national bank notes are an expense and a
burden to the people is equally erroneous.
So far from being an expense, the national
bank notes have brought money into the
national treasury. and to that extent have
lessened the general taxation.
The national bank system went into oper-
alton in 1868, and the total amount of taxes
paid by the banks into the treasury from
that time to the present is $14S, ,SO3 S61.
From this vast sum deduct the expenses
of the comptroller's Office for thirty-three
years, amounting to sl6,147,700, and there
remains $132, ,656, ,161 to the advantage of the
government. The comptroller further
shows that the government has further
saved by means of the banks the sum of
$25, 900. which makes over SIS, 600 900 to
the profit of the government. These are
figures that cannot be ignored nor gain
said by any opponent of the banks.
They throw a new light on the financial
questions we are soon to deal with, and
they must be accepted as the basis of any
final settlement, unless it can be shown
that the comptroller has falsely reported
them.
The time has now arrived when the peo-
pie must establish their finances according
to business principles. We should have no
more mere running for luck, or trusting
to fortune. We must act as business men
and business nations act. and not on the
foolish hypothesis that we are made of a
different clay from other people and an ex-
ception. The same eternal laws of nature
operate with the same inflexibility here as
elsewhere, and they must be obeyed.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

slider the delicate position in which he
would be placed. not only toward himself
but to his neighbor of the horny hand. He
would not feel like putting out big crop.
because it might be the means of cutting
down his pay in the event he was elected.
and if he did not, and was defeated, he
would always feel ike kicking himself for
neglecting the opportunity of reducing the
salary of his successful opponent.
1t is very doubtful if Ccxey's idea will
meet with favor with the tiIlers OF the
soil, and the fellows who are already in
Office will not take kindly to it on account
Of its liability to fluctuate.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
RoCHEFoRr on AMERICAN WOMEN.

In his book. THE Adventures of Nv
Life" which has been translated into En-
glish, Mr.. Henri Rochefort has given some
entertaining impressions of the American
people, 10 which our attention is called by
Il recent magazine review of the work.
1t will be remembered that NJ Rochefort
escaped from New Caledonia, where he had
been imprisoned by the French government
for political ofTenses, and ultimately
reached San Francisco. OF his journey
from there to New York he gives an ac-
count which is not only amusing but also
instructive as comparison of social con
ditions between America and the Old
World THE American girls in our Sleep
ing car" says the Frenchman. who had
probably never before ridden in such a
conveyance. though probably quite as
good guardians OF their honor as the
French. were more free and easy, and bet
ter 'chums.' had for my bed neighbor.
her fair locks almost touching my crinloly
hair, a young lady of 20 who was travelling
alone from San Francisco to New York,
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
Equal to the Emerrencr

From the Chicago Tribune.
"Nit!' scornfully exclaimed the young
woman.
The young man. who happened to be
facing the door, had barely time to rise
from his knees before it opened noise
lessiy and the mother OF the family came
into the room on some errand or other.
''Nitr' scornfulIy repeated the young
woman.
with large X" responded the youth.
picking up with great presence of mind
a skein of fieecy material that lay on a
hassock and pretending to be busily en-
gagged in assisting to wind it into a ball.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
A Plea for the Vice President.

From Hartford Courant RepD.
There is one cabinet change, which any
president can make for himself, that sug-
gests itself to almost every intelligent OBJ
server. That is the taking in of the vice
president to the cabinet consultations. An
invitation and its acceptance are all that
is necessary. Grant that the vice president
is only a figurehead: that's what leaves
him such. By the very nature of his office
he is full of the promise and potency of
official Importance. small group of in
finitesimal bacilH may any day move upon
or within the chief executive and thereup-
on the vice president is the president. The
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

country has seen this transformation SO
often as TO know all about it. 1t always
happens, however. that the vice president
brings in a new policy and his advent
means political crisis. Why shouldn't It?
Hes n new man. an outsider no part of
the old administration, and he must make
new start. But If he had been in the con-
ndence OF his predecessor. had taken part
in the deliberations, had been consulted
and had advised, he at least would have
found himself in position TO continue in
telligently whatever policy the death OF
the president would have left incompleted.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
Murdered Maceo.
"All Spain reioiced when MaceO was

All Spain re1oiced when Maceo was 10
ported to be dead" 81
To the right. and here's to MaceoI
Cubans, Cubans, we'll be free:
Down with Spain and up for Maceo;
Shout HuIrah! now, one, two, three
Who's for Freedom, he's for Maceol
Cubans, -Cubans, we'll be free;
Down with Spain and up for Maceo:
Shout Hurrah! now, one, two, three
Spain did ever curse our Maceo;
Cubans, Cubans, we'll be free;
How she laughed, when fell our Maceo,
Shout Hurrahl now, one, two, three,
So now our battle cry Is ''Maceo."
Shout Hurrahl now, one two, three
Maceo, Maceo, murdered Maceo;
-cubans. Cubans. we'll be freel
New York Sun.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
No Chance for a pefen.e.

From the Cleveland Leader.
Judge-'Now, sir what grounds have Won
to base your claim for divorce upon?"
Plaintiff-"Your honor, my wife snores
so hard that she wakes the baby, and then
she insists upon my getting up and walk
ing the floor with him.
Judge-''Application granted. Nextr'
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
The Crorxninr Infnmr

From the indianapolis Journal.
Dismal Dawson-"This here paper saya
that the greatest crime is committed in the
localities that goes Prohibition"
Hungry Higgins-"Of course. Wot errest-
er crime could they be than goin' Proht-
bition?'
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
PETERS Senate Oppon.n,-

A man with face that's as smooth as a
baby's.
Out after Pefrer's armchair. with no
mayhes2
Dear, dear, If he gets It. our Populst
PETER
VIII be as mad as a brindIed heifer.
New York Press.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
MISSOURI POINTS.

4 firm in Mexico pleads guilty To the
charge of having urIoaded two cars of
pianos and three tons of sheet music on
the law-abiding and well-meaning people
Of that section of Missouri within the last
three months.
An Audrain county man who finds good
pront IN turning 2D-cent corn into scent
cattle has shipped 500 feeders from Arkan-
sas.
Railroad Commissioner Cowgirl, while In
Arizona recently, visited Colonel John b.
Breathitt, formerly a we'll known Mis-
sourfan. now located in Tucson. where he
has an appointment under the interior de-
partment. Judge Cowgirl says Colonel
Ereathitt Is one of the most popular men
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
The Passing show.

This world IS but feetlng show,
And few are they, alas.
Who can rake up a pull that's strong
Enough for a free pass.
Indianapolis Journal
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
Quite n Safeguard.

From the Detroit Free Press.
This is a glorious year for foolhardv
skaters
How so?'
There isn't any ice
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
srArEMENT oF CIRCULATION.

State OF Missouri.
County OF Jackson.
II. Gaylord, business manager OF The
Kansas City Journal, being duly sworn.
says that the actual number of fun ana
complete copies of the Kansas City Jour
nal, Daily and Sunday. printed during the
month of November, 1886. was as follows:
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18
THE WEATHER.

Washington, Dec. 17.-For Oklahoma and
Indian Territory-Fair: north winds.
For MISUNDERSTANDING weather. preceded
by light snow in eastern and southern por-
tions; colder; northwest winds.
For KansasHFair; north winds, with
temperature about freezing, -
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

It is due the New York girls to say that
the young man who froze to death in a
sleigh in that state was without female
COMPANY. - .
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

President Cleveland is receiving some
splendid compliments in the closing days
of his term. Senator Allen the other day
publicly referred to him as Republican.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

The Journal does not pre-
tend 10 know the number of
copies printed by its con-
tcmporaries. Printing papers
Is easy if a publisher has
presses ard can get hold OF
IlatInn white paper. But when it
lldllUH comes 10 QUALITY the jour
nal does know. There are two
classes of circulation-one
PAID, the other FREE. One
thousand PAID circulation IS
worth more 10 the advertiser
q, than ten thousand FREE.
piIIapC The Journals circulation is
l 'iDU4O' PAID. It Is HONEST c.rc'!-
Iation. Its growth is STEADY
reasonable. reliable.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

If the Junction space is to be given to
advertising purposes why not let it 60 to
the highest bidder? There are hundreds
of big business firms in the country that
would gladly pay a handsome price for
s,,cb a rriv;Iepe
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

When the tariff bill comes up in the
spring the country, will expect Mr.. Quay to
don his blouse and make a manful fight for
the American dinner pail.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

There was little snow yesterday, but
not much. Hardly enough. in fact, to save
the. Kansas wheat crop. ~.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

The Barton county court offers a reward
of a cent and a quarter each for crow
scalps brought in during the next thirty
days. The birds have done great damage
in the cornfields in portions of the county,
one farmer having lost the entire product
of forty acres through their depredations.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

Fires were built Tuesday in the furnaces
of Nevada's new smelter, the plant for the
location of which there public spirited
citizens put up bonus of $4,000.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

Carthage wants the other end of that
Southwest road, for which Jefferson City
announces its Willingness to pay $4,000 in
cash if made the northern terminus.
Kansas City daily journal., 1896-12-18

Now that the location of the capital has
been permanently settled in Jefferson City's
favor Sheriff Some has sold his blood
hounds.