Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1896-07-23

to the bridge" Mamma-"Why do
you want to go over there, DEAR"
Lucy-"Oh, just want to gargle my
feet In the brook" Truth
Brazzy-"You'll find, Miss Buzbuz,
that most people are either too smart
or not smart enough" Miss Buzbuz-
Indeed; and which are you, Mr..
BrazzyF-Roxbury Gazette.
Hubby-"Darwin seems to have
lot Of trouble with his cuff buttons"
Blossie-"How so?" Hubby-"He was
always bowling about the missing
link."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
"What are you crying for, child?'
'Lolo hurt me-" "How, pray?" 81 was
going to hit him with my fist, when he
ducked his head and my fist hit the
wall. Transcript.
She bought pretty parasol
OF an enhancing shade;
But dared not take it in the sun
For fear that it would fade.
Washington Star.
"Old chap, I've been duck shooting,
don't you know" "Duck shooting :?
Why. you don't know tame duck
from wild one" "Oh, yes, l do-the
wild ones got Chicago Rec
ord.
Short-''There's another bill from the
tailor. wonder why he keeps sending
bills to people he knows can't pay"
Mrs Short-"Perhaps, my dear he
does it as an advertisement Brook
lyn Life.
Hoax-"I stood on one foot all the
way home in n crowded car last night"
Joax-"What was the matter with your
other foot?' HoaX-"Another man was
standing ON that" t."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
"That," said the crank, as the oppo-
sition fielder jumped apparently about
fifteen feet in the air and pulled down
q home-run fly, that Is nothing short
of high-handed outrage. ."-Indianap
oils Journal.
"Why, Tommy, you are not Mt the
jam again and only whipped for it an
hour ago?" Eyes, mamma; heard you
tell auntie you thought you'd whipped
me too hard, and thought I'd make
it even."-Pearson's Weekly.
First Man-Did you collect any dam.
ages when you fell down that shaft
Second Man--No, l couldn't; unfortun.
ately they had put sign on The in.
side of the shaft which said, "No Tres.
passing" g."-Harper's Bazaar.
ira In,
Some slight disappointment may cost;
For the buds that too hastily spring,
ira la,
Are the ones that take chances on frost.
Washington Star.
Higbee-You women have n. queer
idea of debating club. When l look
ed in last night you were all talking
at once. Mrs. Hive conduct our
club on congressional lines, Henry
Philadelphia North American.
81 wonder If johnson tells the truth
when he says his wife has such a
sunny disposition?" "Of course he
does Every time he does not do ex.
actly what she wishes she makes il
uOt IOT lilH. lJlllulTtT.
Fuddy-Frasher has the reputation
, of being great wit, but for my part
I can't see anything very bright in hls
writings. Duddy-That's queer. Why
his jokes have been used by the great.
| est wits that ever lived.-Boston Trans.
cript.
NATURALIZATION you run INFO n
man the rider is as likely to get the
worst of 1t as the pedestrian, isn't hei
| Wheeler-You bet he is! The last fell
| low l ran into only lost front tooth
while l had four spokes broken and
my sprocket wrenched all out of true!
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Your verses are very good, miss, '
, said the editor In his kindest manner
"but we cannot possibly use them. Our
columns are too crowded" Cant you
] leave out some of that stuff you pub.
| lish under the head of 'WantedT ="
suggested the poetess. at Is very III
! interesting. g."-Chicago Tribune.