The Republican journal., 1896-05-28
One BICYCLES Experience.

not an ssordinary." but a safety-bicyclt
for hire.
When | first came from the factory
thought | was going to fall into goot
fortune. but man took me on trial-tha
! is to say. he took me on the instalmen
plan and tried to pay for me, but couldn' t
and was forced to return me at the end o
month, and then | was only gooo
enough to 60 among the hirelings, anc
there | have stayed ever since.
was born a combination wheel-tha
is. YOU can take out my spinal column,
and then | can be ridden by lady, not il
boomers. and, thank my stars, no
boomers have ever yet enveloped me in
their folds.
That time the man had me ON trial
think it was my most uncomfortable ex-
perience. for he was green at the bust
ness. and SO was I, and the result was
that both of us got bumps innumerable,
and though he came out of it with "a
twisted knee and sprained ankle and a
barked nose and lame arm and a hurt
back and a black eye, with few Other
incidental casualties, | was nothing to
brag of myself That's why when he had
to give me up they put me on the hireling
list.
A bicycle has a good deal to learn when
it first leaves the factory.
My keepers put new coat OF enamel on
me and otherwise put me in shape, and
thereafter | became quite popular. Riders
who had me out for a spin when they re
turned would say they didn't know why
it was, but | seemed to be more intelligent
than other wheels they had tried, and
was not half as liable to make sudden
swerve and bang into a wagon in the
street or into gate post or over bank,
or to do any one Of the forty dozen other
things bicycle is likely to do when the
rider is least expecting it.
Sometimes, though, | couldn't helI
being little frisky. Once [ remember
an athletic sort of fellow took me out
and for six mortal hours he pedalled me
all over every road in the suburbs, rough
and smooth, and almost drove every bit
of breath out of my tires.
The time Of my revenge was at hand
He was pumping me along a bit of pleas
ant country road where the shade woulC
have been very grateful to me if he haC
only run along slowly, when he caught NJ
with pretty girl on an awfully ornamen
tai wheel
could hear him laugh with chuck,
at his luck and he sailed alongside of he1
and began talking.
1t WASH long until he was entirely alb
sorbed in the girl, and was leaving all the
rest Of the matter to me. Then | pricke(
up my ears and got ready, and all at once
! when we came to good place, | took 8
header into ditch, the girl screamed, tn,
man swore, and lay over on my sid,
| helpless, but happy
He and l rode home in passing pie
wagon. the girl disappeared, and it COS
him s. for repairs.
All kinds of people hired me, and viii
most of them could do very we'll Never
| though, with a fat woman. There wa.
one OF these thought she could reduce he.
flesh by riding, and she lit right down OF
me the first time she came into my place
| don know why it is, but after some
years of experience | am prepared to as
sert that fat woman weighing 200 is Jus
twice as heavy as a fat man of the sam,
weight. If some scientist will explain
this he will do all of us bicycles grea
favor.
| made it convenient to dump the fat
| lady one evening into a pond of water
and she came SO near drowning that she
has organized a crusade against the wheel
and has bought an interest in paten
anti-fat remedy.
But there was another woman-ah, me
what a delight it was to go flying witt
her She was a dainty little creature
light as a fairy and strong as wire, anC
she knew where all the prettiest places
! were, and there we went together anG
she drew pictures of sylvan scenes while
/ leaned up against tree and watched
her by the hour.
One day a handsome young fellow
wheeled by, and they nodded pleasantly
the blushing bit and he smiling. Sew
eral days after that came to my place to
gether, and she took me away with hel
for three days.
The third day, as we went bowling
homeward, my lady appeared to be i'll al
| ease, and there were times when if | haG
not had all my wits about me we would
surely have gone off the road and over the
bank into whatever may have been below
| to have received us
| / remembered to have seen them the
night before on the piazza, where | lean
ed up against the wall.
| was feeling the need OF rest, and did
not pay much attention to them; but | re
membered that they were quarreling zone
of those lover S quarrels, you know and
she was an independent little body, quite
equal to cope with any man.
Then | didn't see him any more, though
she and took many little afternoon anc
morning spins together. | say l did no
see him any MORE mean, for some time
That was several weeks later
We had gone into quite a remote sec
ton, where there was excellent sketchins
ground, and she had left me by a fenc'
and clambered across stony field among
the crags overhanging a stream. l sup
pose she had been gone an hour when
heard her scream, and minute or twt
later mans voice shouting.
Presently his head showed above thu
rocks and he came tearing my way. I'll
looked dreadfully frightened, and whel
he saw me he said "Thank Godn' will
a sincerity that seemed like a prayer, anc
swinging me out into the road he sent M
along at speed l thought was not in me
By degrees began to understand that my
lady was hurt in some way and he was
going for help.
He didn't know that dumb whee
knew anything, but | am sure my lad
would have known, for we were sucl
, good friends and | have never given he
a moments pain in all my life.