The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-06-06

"HOw married life does change one-
From what | have observed should
say it changes two."-Boston Courier.
Teacher-suppose you were a king.
Tommy, what would you do? Tommy
I'd never wash my face any more
Woonsocket Reporter.
The burglar climbed over the Office
partition. 1T is well to be on the safe
side" he said. Then he began work
on the yault.-Chicago Evening Post.
Enfant Terrible-And did they 20 in
to the ark two by two? Mamma-
Yes. dearest. Enfant Terrible-Well.
who went with auntie?-Pittsburg Bull
letin.
How does Jibson stand prosperity
since he came into his fortuneY' "Oh.
he stands it all right, but it's pretty
rough on his friends. "-Cincinnat En-
quirer.
(which would you rather do, farley,
kiss a girl on her lips or on her eyes?v
"Her eyes, of course. You have to do
it twice to cover the ground. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Old Maids this the newspaper Of
fee? Clerk-Yes, ma'am Old Maid
(blushingly)-I see the Mayor adver-
tised for proposals, and l would like
to advertise, too.-Philadelphia Record.
Ragson Tatters-You don't know
what 1t Is, pardner, ter be trowed
down by everybody, wild no frien's nor
nottln' The Other-Don't 1? I'm n
baseball umpire.-Philadelphla Record
Wallace-Do you think electricity will
be much in use in the next war? Fer
ry-In the next war? Why, the Span
iards are winning most of their battles
with 1t right now.-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Architect-Have you any suggestions
for the study, Mr.. Veryrich? Very
rich-Only that it must be brown.
Great thinkers, l understand, are gen.
orally found in brown study-House-
hold Words.
Harold was told to write sentence
containing the word "copse" He came
from the city. and the word had a
familiar sound. His sentence read:
THE boy lodged the copse."- Youths
Companion.
Clarence" she sighed, Economically,
do something true, something brave,
something heroic to prove your love for
me- WELL he faltered, but calmly,
Il have offered to marry you.'-New
York Herald.
Squildig-"The war in Cuba is very
expensive to Spain" McSwilligen-
That's what it is 1t would be much
less costly if there were no cable COM
munication with the island. Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph
Mr.. Insite, give the class your idea
of optimist and pessimist." Yes, sir
An optimist is a man who is happy
when he is miserable, and pessimist
is man who is miserable when he's
happy."-Chicago Record.
Absent-minded Party-'Why, how do
you do, Barker? How's you wife,"
Barker-"My wife? Why, my dear
doctor, l never married" Absent
minded Party-"Reallyl Congratulate
her for wallpapers Bazaar.
Ragged Haggard (at the door)-"Im
willin' to work. maddim, but can't get
nuthin' to do at my profession" Mrs.
Snapperton-"H'm. What is your pro-
fession?" Ragged Haggard-"l am an
anglomaniac." Harper's Bazaar.
Great Scott, woman exclaimed Mr..
Wickwire TO whom his wife was try
ing to explain something. You could
MT do worse at trying to make your
point if you were attempting to sharp
en- lead pencilr'-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Uncle Bob-"How many valentines
did you send, Tommy Tommy
Fifteen" Uncle Bob-"You have
quite a number of sweethearts. Tel
me who they are" Tommy-"Oh.
sent them all to Mike, our hired man.
-Harper's Bazaar.
Aunt Maria-"Did he ever say any
think which would lead one to THINK
that he wished to make you his witef
Phoebe-"Yes. indeed. Why, only To-
day he said that nothing was so ne-
coming to me as calico.'-Boston iran
script.
I've been told Rivers name Is 10
old Rocksworthy's will" Yes, ms
name is in it; he signed it as witness.
That's all, and-good gracious. W nat
the matter?" Nothing. only I've lent
him $500 on the strength of it-'-Chi-
cago Tribune.
This is leap year, know SAID the
maid; but do not think could so Tar
forget my maidenly modesty as 10 pro.
pose to a man. Yet" yet what
asked the youth, seeing she heslta'ed'
i might jump at an offer If II were
made to me."-New York Herald.
Hermione-"Isn't Jack good: lie mas
engaged himself to me. you know Du.
he says he will not bind me to MN. II
l can get somebody else. he says ne
shant Interfere" Blanch (sweeuyl-
II Is evident that he feels periecu'
sure OF you."-Boston Transcript