The Monitor-register., 1896-05-08
A LITTLE FUN.

A LITTLE FUN.
Jimson-" Brownkins has bought a
bicycle"
Simpkins-"Ah, that's why he is COM
ing to the office nowadays in a hack. -
Puck.
She-"The doctor says that you mustn't
call any more"
He-"Did he say that p'
She-"Well, he said that | needed
eight hours sleep."-1ruM.
x*x
She-"Since Folsome took to bicycling
l suppose he is often seen ON the road ?'
He-"Yes; l saw him there five times
within a mile, the other day."-Yonkers
| Statesman.
Nv
Algy-"Now-now, Miss Giddy, sup
pose l should try-try to kiss you ?"
Miss Giddy-"Don't think of it. Mr..
Gosling; you're SO agitated that I'm sure
you would scream ."-T%uth.
x*x
Ethel-"Tom says that the new young
man who comes to see you is a stock
broker. What is he, a bull or a bear ?'
Maud-"Well, l don't just know, but
he has some of a bears proclivities." -
SomeroM Journal.
*+
Barnstormer-"I never could abide the
Easter season.
Soubrette-"Why, 1 think it's lovely
new bonnets, new gowns"
Barnstormer (sadly)-" Yes; but SO
many old eggs."-Brooklyn Life.
x*x
just when the new woman has learned
to drive a rail without hitting her thumb,
along comes a fellow with a self loading
hammer.-Los Angeles Express,
Xxx
"Pve got one advantage over you still,'
said the carriage horse, looking at the
bicycle in the next stall. "When Pm
worn out l can be worked up into glue
and canned beef, and you CAN'T
Chicago Tribune
The ice cream man and the barefoot boy
Are on the streets once more;
Likewise the fans who want to know
"What was the base ball score ?"-Er.
x*x
"The girls call her a goose"
swell, the boys say she is a bird."-
Detroit Tribune.
T~~ynn-"I suppose you never heard
of the Keely motor"
Triplett-"What makes you suppose
that "
Twynn-"You are so fond of remark
ing Everything goes. '"-Detroit Fire
Press.
x*x
Weasel-"Heard all about the lates'
Cuban victory ?"
Teasel-'No. Serious ?n
Weasel-"I should say 30. Somebod,
gave little Alfonso his first Havana cigar
and it made him sick .''-Cnacaqo Dis
patch.
**x
II tell you, the time in which one live
has a great effect on his career. TAX,
Washington, for instance"
swell. what of him ?'
do you suppose a man who woult
persist 10 telling the truth at all times il
these days wonld ever get further il
public life than notary public P"-Harp
er's Bazaar.
II don't see why these explorers are s,
determined in their eff ,rts to reach tn,
North Pole" said young Mrs. Torkins
II know why it is, replied her hus
band. 'They want to find some plac
where the dealers never have the assur
ance to tell the public that the Ice crol
has been a failure."-Er
x*x
Ou o"~Ps l So Ueou uuCR shooting
don't you know ?"
"Duck shooting? Why, you don
know a tame duck from a wild one."
"Oh, yes, l do-the wild ones 90
awayP'-C Chicago Record.
x*x
Stndent-"Here my father writes mt
that my studies are costing him a mint
and the Lord knows l am studying very
little. "-Fiegende B1atter.
x#
Uncle Mose-Dat dorg is mt best friend,
an wouldn't sell 'um fo' nothin'.
Van Pelt-Ill give you fifty cents for
him.
Uncle Mose-He's yo' dorg HON,
Journal.
fhrenologist.-This bump here, sir, is
ambition.
Scorchley--Right are you. sir. was
ambitious to ride a bicycle -Yonkers
Statesman
Smith got off a bright thing the other
day. what was it?" ga lighted cigar
someone had earelessly dropped into the
chair ne sat on.''-De@oit Free Press
x
omoker-Gracions, I've stuck the
lighted end of my cigar in my mouth
dis Wife-How lucky yol were, dearest,
70 notice it right off, Hiegende Blatter.
x*x
Dry Goods Clerk-We are selling these
goods, madam, at ridiculous prices.
Castomer-I should say so; I can buy
them cheaper in half a dog m places =
Puck.
bobbie-On my way to school this
morning | met the new boy who has
moved next door.
Mrs. Jingo-Yes, and here's a note from
the teacher saying you were late.
Bobbie-That's nothing. The new boy
didn't get there at aIl.-ITuM.
x*x
Hicks ~Everybody's buying b cycl 8
now l suppose you would be buying one,
too. il you could raise the wind2' Wicks