The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-25
GOtN SHORT STORIES.
A, Nxpert Fiuancier .

| nament well known Tor MS knoWIeuBe
about all questions Of finance. This
wise statesman was approached by Q rep
utable-looking man. who said, with a de-
| ferential but not servile manner. Elk
cuse me, sir, are you not Mr.. Blank?"
II am," said the member Of parliament,
with affable dignity.
II believed you are well informed upon
all financial QuestiOns?'
"My friends and the press are kind
enough to say So"
| "You have given much attention to the
subject. l Think"
More than to anything else."
"And no doubt you could give q sat
isfactory answer to almost any ques-
tion l might ask%'
The member saw that he was being In
| terviewed. and wished to say something
that would look well in print.
perhaps, 1 could II 1t were in the power
Of any man," he answered.
"Well, ] have a question Of finance that
I should be greatly pleased II you would
answer to my satisfaction"
| Very good. What is it?'
| "will you lend me a sovereign for
| day or two?'
The memb of parliament produced the
sovereign.
by George!" he said, afterward, "he
could have caught me for five just as
well, IL he had only known it"Tid-Bits
M
The Bluff Worked.
| A good story Of the late 8. 8. Merrill
| cropped out in q certain law office yes
terday afternoon, while knot of attor.
neys were commenting upon the portraits
Of prominent Milwaukeeans in recent
work on Milwaukee. Mr. Merrilrs like
ness was reached when one Of the gentle
men, in rela ting anecdotes of the trouble
| he had on the St. Paul road.
Mr.. Merrill had discharged the conduc-
tor half dozen times and quite regularly
reinstated him. On this particular occa-
sion the conductor had been Summoned
and entered the room in fear and trepida-
ton. He found the general manager
glowing with rage, and was speedily In
| formed that his services were not needed
longer, and tina this time his dismissal
was for good.
whats the matter this time" ven-
tured the culprit.
ITS this" blurted the general manager:
| I'm tired of listening to stories OF my
conductors buying $3.50 diamonds on
81, 900 salary"
II suppose this is the diamond you re-
| fer to Mr.. Merrill" returned the quick
witted conductor, pointing to a small
headlight in his shirt front.
II suppose so," assented the irate~man-
ager.
"Wer," continued the conductor calm
", as he proceeded to unfasten the gem,
| .you may have 1t for s."
That settled the conductor with Mr.. Mer-
rill and he never received another repri-
| mand. Mr.. Merrill used to relate the in
cident at times, never for moment sus-
pecting the bluff and that the stone had
really cost $1,5OO as he had heard.-Mil-
wsukee Wisconsin.
ill
Or,uk ar Than Thev Were.
Bishop Paret, Of Baltimore. tells good
story at his own expense. He was recent
ly on train and near MN n, ga sat mSn ,wo
with forcible expletive remarked to the
other that some one had robbed him OF
a $40 bill. His friend remarked: "Oh,
guess not: you must have 1t about, about you
hadn't. and that he had the bill when he
came aboard the train; some one robbed
him, and he proposed to find II he had to
search the whole crowd. AS 1t hap
bill. and that was all, and as l was the
nearest man to them. and the first likely
to he approached. l felt little uncom-
Portable. Then 1t occurred to me to pre-
tend to be asleep Sure enough, In
minute more l was accosted with. say
neighbor! but l made no answer. Then
the man grabbed my arm and shOols me,
but to no use. as ! didn't wake up. He
kept on shaking. however, and always a
little more forcibly. until at last his friend
interpOsed with: I say. Bill, let him
alone, will you; he's drunker'n you are!
New York Tribune;
Melba as Q Good Fairy.
When Melba was here in October 1t will
be remembered she had much to say of
her companion and secretary. Melba told
the reporters how much she loved Miss