Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1896-02-07
nUMOR OF THE DAY.

-
It does not cost moro than the price
of two or three ice creams to be u hero
to girl. -Atchison Globe.
The greatest trouble about blessings
in disguise is their dilatoriness about
discovering themselves. Puck.
Lois OF room tor chcerfuldess.
Though it rains food;
Lets be thankful that it's not.
Slush instead of mud.
Silious-"Leave me alono with my
thoughts. what perfeo-
ton of solitude philadelphia Rec
ord.
There is difference betw cen cold
and the grip; but you will not realize
it until you receive tho doctors bill.
Truth.
Poct-"Hope springs eternal in the
human breast" Cynic-"Yes. That
the pool OF disappointment may never
go dry Truth.
"Happy Thought" Men,. (from
notebook of careless man)-"When
nothing else to do, wind up my watch.
1t saves time. Punch
There are bacilli in kiss.
I've heard il once or twice;
really didn't know-did you?-
That germs could he so nice
Washington Star.
Visitor -''But this portrait of Mr..
Bulger is good deal moro than life
size" Artist-"I know it. That !,
the size ho thinks he is."-Boston
Bulletin.
Bowlder (excitodIy)-"I tell you,
sir, this town isn't big enough to hold
us both" Waugh (calmly)-s'All
right. When are you going away?"
Somerville Journal.
81 am not going to take my meals
at the Hash restaurant any longer"
"Why not?" 81 heard the proprie-
tor tell delinquent customer to pony
up!"'-Detroit Free Prees. saIssrs
=. Proprietor-"I can't engage you;
your feet are too Target" Clerk
"But they will DO hidden by tho
counter, SIR" Proprietor-"No
counterfeits allowed in this establish
ment !"-Waterbery. g'ss, ,sss93ssSSSass
"Women," said he oracularly to
her, fare rarely good listeners. Aud
the prospective mother-in-law in the
hallway only applied her ear little
closer to tho key-hole ani smiled
grimly.-Indienapolis Journal. ssa,
"Why, Willie! what'havo you done
to Jimmy Woods that lie has gone
homo crying?" We'll, he
told lot of boys that his mo said our
family was one of the oldest in the
place an licked him. "-Pittsbur
Bulletin. sstissl5Yssss.xsssa
Ethcl--'T suppose shall have to
wear this veil; it's the only ono 1
have. It's so thick one can hardly
SEQ my face through it," Edith
"Oh, wear it, by all means. Every
body says you. never had on anything
half SO becoming. Boston Tran
script. s,s;:.=,sssass:, yst.ssuss.
81 want to buy o makeup box"
said the young married man. ga
makeup box?" tho confectioner
echoed. "We don't keep theatrical
supplies" 81 mean box of candy 10
take home to my wife,. promised to
be home three hours ago. Indian
apolis Journal. SIR; isss!.sssaE
Judge-"What is the use of ap-
pointing receiver for this corpora
ton? There is nothing left to re-
ceive." Lawyer-"Your Honor, /
will show by numerous cases that it is
not customary to appoint receiver
while there is anything left to re-
ceive." brooklyn Life. SIS y n
Papa" (She knolt beside tho de-
jected figure and fondly kissed the
dropping head.) "Papa, con I not
keep the wolf from the door with my
singing?" He was without hope, al
though he smiled. "My child" he
sighed, 'your singing would keep al
most anything from the door, but the
wolf is pretty nervy. "---Detroit News
Tribune.
When q man notices an improvement