davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
a M'KINLEY ANECDoTE.

1t IS rather early to begin telling
{ anecdotes about the presidential can
didates but still the practice has be-
/ gun. E. V. Smalley tells one that he
heard at Canton about Major AIcKin-
/ ley. He says it illustrates the major S
/ practical way of reasoning on the sill
! Yer question. The anecdota is that the
other day an old acquaintance called
upon the major and told him he was
going to vote for the free coinage of
silver. In his quiet. pleasant way. saws
Mr.. Smalley, the major asked the man
TO give his reasons: I owe five thou
sand dollars. l can't see my way to
paying it, but 1 think I could if we
had free silver" when is the money
due?" inquired the major. "One note
for two thousand dollars is due next
December 1 and the other for three
thousand is due January l. Very
we'll. Let US see what would happen
/ if the free silver men elect their presi-
dent and elect a majority of the new
house of representatives. The presi-
dent might call the new congress to-
gether next March, and, supposing the
senate to be for free 16-to-1 coinage, a
silver bill might be passed by the first
of April But what is the bank going
TO do with your notes when they fall
due next December and January? Is
it going to extend them so you can pay
them off in 53-cent dollars? VIII NOT
the bank shut down on you promptly
and sell you out?" Il declare. 1 never
thought of that. I'll think the matter
over carefully" The man went away
but two days later he called again and
said: Major, I've been rejecting on
that matter of my notes, and I've con-
cluded that 1 viii not vote for free
silver"
That is not very good anecdote.
not a very cogent argument against
free silver. Major Mckinley should do
better than that. He really frightened
the poor man out of his silver views.
but gave him nothing in their place.
This old acquaintance will find that
when his notes fall due next December
and January the bank will demand
payment of him just the same, and he
will find that no matter how he voted
the bank will shut down on him if he
cannot pay up. Better anecdotes than
this should be placed to McKinley's
credit if he is to gain any reputation
from them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

it like a baby. Looky at him hugs!t, ma,
just IKE you do when
Hush up, 1 tell you, and come away
We've seen enough of the monkeys
''Oh, ma, just looky what a goose
That's not goose, it's an ostrich.
wish you would keep STILL
Why amt it a goose, MAJ"
Because it's an ostrich
What IS an ostrich?''
Didn't l tell you that that is an os-
trich? Now. don't ask SO many foolish
questions
What's that thing. map
That's zebra"
WHO painted the stripes on it?''
They're not painted; they're natural"
What is natural, mar
Willie the zebra was born with the
stripes on. Now. don't ask me anything
more about it,"
"Oh, ma, here's some more little zebras. .
mo, those are tigers"
No they amt. Don't you see the
stripes on EN-? See the man in that cage.
What's them things in there with him?
Those are lions
Don't lions have stripes on emp
No"
Ma. say, why don't the lions have
stripes on emf"
4 don't know"
'Ch, ma, just see what pretty birds!
What kind of a bird is that with such a
That's called the Tyre bird"
Does it tell lies MAJ"
On, no, OF course not. why uO you
ask such questions?"
well, what makes EN- call it the liar
bird?"
'Oh, because. There's the band playing
in the other tent Don't you want to go
in there and see the Clown
What is the clown, map
THE clown is the man the people laugh
What makes the people laugh at the
clown?"
oh. because he says silly things,
guess
Ma, do you ever say silly things?"
.'Of course not
well, the people laughed at you when
we WAS talkin' about the monkeys back
there
Willie, 1 want you to keep your mouth
shut. Not another word out of you! The
next time l ever take you to a circus
you'll know it."
She took him by the hand and jerked
him along in such manner as to make
him cry. AS they passed the rhinoceros
cage the boy was heard saying Ma, ma,
l want to see this thing with the big
tooth on its nose. '-EXchange.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
PARoLED PRISONERS.

For two months or more past crime
has run riot in Chicago, but the climax
was reached a couple of weeks or so
ago when a gang of murderous men
went through the streets in a buggy
firing right and left, MORALLY wound
ing an officer and severely wounding
: two citizens. Now the men who per-
petrated this crime have been arrested.
and it turns out that they were paroIed
men from the Pontiac reformatorv.
generally regarded as a model institu-
ton OF the kind; and they were all
young men. 1t is said that the many
robberies that were committed in Chi
cago were planned in this very institu-
ton. 1t cannot fail that this fact will
very seriously shake public confidence
IN the parole system. If prisoners are
really DESTROYS of reforming and lead
ing better life, then the system is a
most excellent one; otherwise it releas-
es hardened men from confinement and
gives them an opportunity to prey upon
the public, because it is almost an i'm
possibility for those who take them to
work to control them, and especially if
they are at all inclined to be vicious.
Whether it can ever be successfully
adopted in country like ours with its
vast extent and numerous independent
Jurisdictions is doubtful. Opportun-
tiles for escape are too numerous and
the expense of recapture too great to
make the system one easy of enforce
ment Behind it all lies the great ques-
ton, Can criminals be reformed? A
practical and satisfactory solution to
it has not thus far been found.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
a BRYAN RECRUIT.

The Butte Mountain. as rank
a Republican paper as there is in AN
the Rocky Mountain region, has come
out for Bryan and Sewall. The article
in which it makes this announcement
is, in part, as follows:
Following is The silver plank in the
Democratic platform:
We demand the free and unlimited
coinage Of silver and gold at the present
legal ratio Of is to l, without waiting
for the aid or consent of any other ma
ton. We demand that the standard sill
yer dollar shall be fun legal tender,
equally with gold, for all debts. public
and private, and we favor such legis-
lation as viii prevent for the future the
Recommendations of any kind of legal ten
der money by private contract. We are
opposed to the policy and practice of
surrendering to the holders of the oh
legations of the United States the on
ton reserved by law to the governments
of redeeming such obligations in either
silver or gold CON-
Upon the issue of silver as above de-
cl3red and upon that issue alone the
great majority of the Republicans of
Montana wifi support Bryan electors in
this campaign. Logically. consistently
anu honestly, If they believe in silver
and nor gold, they can pursue no other
course. Montana Republican conven-
ton less than 20 days ago declared for
silver and as the national Republican
convention has since declared suuarely
againei. it. what can conscientious sill
yer Republicans do but adhere so their
convictions and fight for their interests?
If the men of the east are combining
against silver, why should not the men
of the west combine against gold? It
is 70 be battle of standards and upon
this issue and no other the Inter Noun
tain enrolls itself under the silver ban
Ter. pledged to contend against the
forces Of Mckinley and gold and anx-
ious as soon as the silver Issue shall
be favorably settled to devote ITS best
energies 20 the restoration of the policy
of protection and reciprocity Butte is
almost solid for Bryan, Sewall and
silver. and Butte Republicans viii sun
port them for this campaign.
As the Inter Mountain says, if the
Republicans of Montana believe in free
silver. they cannot logically, consist
emily and honestly refuse to do any,
thing else than support Bryan electors.
1t must be evident to all that there
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
A Circus Vignette.

She had taken her little boy to the cir
Gus. For weeks she had promised to take
him ito see the animals, and it was a pic
mic for him, if not for herself.
Ma began the youngster, the minute
they had got inside the canvas, SIS that
the elephant?''
Yes, my child"
Look. ma. it's got tail at each emu.
What makes it have two tails?"
1T hasn't two tails. There's its tail,
and that's It's trunk"
Where's it's trunk. ma? don't see
any trunk. 1t amt got nothin' to put in
a trunk, has it? Looky, ma, it's stickin'
one OF its tails in it's mouth"
That's not its tail, L tell you that's
its trunk. You mustn't talk so much.''
'Oh, ma, there's the monkeys. 1 want
TO see them. Looky, ma, that ones got
hold of that ones tail. What makes
monkeys have tails, mar
II don't know; to play with l guess
ooh, ma, that one in the corner looks
like grandpa See its face
Hush up. You ought to be ashamed
comparing your grandpa to a monkey"
We'll, the monkey can't help looking
like grandpa. can it? See therei That
ones got a little one in its arms, holdin'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
You can't

buy ScAt2llng's Best tea loose.
We think too much of it to
let the best flavor evaporate
before it gets to you.
1t is done up in cardboard
boxes, protected by vellum--
alr-tlght. No air gets in: no
flavor gets out.
That's the way to take care
OF good tea. Will you please
be careful of ScA1llzne's Best
too? Don't put it in the
same closetwith strong cheese.
You will be amply rewarded
for your pains.
.SehiliAg's Best coffee, soda, baking
powder, spices, and havoring extracts
are also good in their way-and money
backed.
Il Settling g Company San Euneisee
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

''An address from President Cleve-
hand. in his usual powerful style, at
the present time in favor of a national
Democratic convention to nominate
Democratic candidates for president
and vice-president and TO adopt Il
Democratic platform would be more
effective for the protection of the pub
lie credit and the gold reserve than
any other public act, except an en-
phatic gold declaration by congress-
Such an address 20 have its greatest
force should be timely. The time N
now Procrastination will impair the
value Of great opportunity" says
the Chicago Chronicle. All the chances
are that Mr.. Cleveland will not seize
this golden opportunity held out by the
Chronicle.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

is no chance whatever for any tariff
legislation by Congress until this ques-
ton of silver is settled. If the western
people want silver, and they certainly
do, the only consistent thing for them
to do is to support Bryan and Sewall
in this campaign. Silver is the issue
this year. let it be settled before others
are brought forward. That done the
people can easily go back to their old
r,arties.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
TALES OF TINE DAY.
The Misguided Goat.

A Goat who had observed a Hunter
beating a thicket for game went and
secreted himself at a favorable spot.
and the the Hunter drew near the Goat
set up a growl in imitation of the Tiger.
The Hunter could not see him, but a bulie,
fired at random laid the imposter low.
Alas! but you might have known II
was not Tigeri'' exclaimed the Goat in
mis- dying agonies.
But how could 1 tell it was not a
Wolf?' replied the Hunter as ne turned
away in disgust.
MORAL.
A large and varied assortment of ca
lamities may happen to the man who was
intended for a Goat but wants the Public
to think him an Elephant.-New York
World.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
THE SALT LAKE HERALD. FRIDAY. July "a 1898
ment of the St. Louis financial plank
what is it2

ment of the St. Louis financial plank
what is it?
There are plainly two sides to the
controversy, and just which course will
oe the oetter for Utah does not yet
seem clear. We all want free coirsea
OF silver, and the only difference is
as 90 the best method OF securing it.
II TINS country. indebted as it is. can
lead out for free coinage of silver alone
ana keep up its credit, then the Chi
cSgo Platform is correct on that point;
Il n1metallism must be by information
a. agreement, then the St Louis plat
form Should De endorsed Bpt there
must De no reputation The honor
Oh me country must be kept unsullied
am Its credit must remain unimpaired.
ctah viii lend its aid to the accom-
pilsnment of those aims, for her peo-
PIE are conservative and patriotic.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
THE SUMMER ARM.

AS oft as the summer comes around,
l view with much alarm
A certain mystic malady
That settles in my arm;
1t doesn't burn. or pain, or ache.
Or feel rheumatic thrills,
And yet with keen anxiety
My mind it always fills.
While sitting IN a boat or car,
Upon the news intent.
I'm shocked to find the way my poor
Afflicted arm is bent
AS soon as I'm not looking, or
My thoughts are called away,
Around the seat that's next to me
My arm begins to stray.
You see how troublesome it is
To have an arm like mine.
That just as soon as summer comes
Begins to bend and Irvine;
l think I'll have to go away
And search from east to west
Till l have found some small waist place
Where my poor arm can rest.
New York Life
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
IN THE ROSES.

He was a little boy at play
A pink from Loves own posies,
An when they missed him we would say
Hes out there in the roses
The flowers-they seemed to love him so,
Our hearts could never ch:de him,
Sweet-playin' where the lilies blow
An where the rose could hide him.
But once-when twilights dreamy shades
ZEN so1u IN Iieids an flowers,
An darkness gloomed above the glades
An these sad hearts O. ours;
We couldpt find him at his play,
Yet still, when daylight closes.
We hear his mother weepin' say:
Hes out there in the roses"
FRANK L. STANTON.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Darling he said. you must, you
shall be miner
Say" She retorted, placing her finger
upon the button in the wall do you
want me to call the police?'
Then. with a wild, hunted look in his
eyes, he grabbed his hat and ran--Cleve-
land Leader.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

The Chicago Post says that there
are enough Johnsons in Chicago to
found city of 24.O0O Johnsons, to
say nothing of the Johnsons who
spell their names without the n or
with the addition of u OF final e.
They should organize a Party by the
name of Johnson
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

A Bombay newspaper declares that the
castor Oil plant affords a means of pro
lection against mosquitoes. We are of
course to understand from this that mos
qilitfes do not like the castor oil plant.
There would seem to be something hui
man about the mosquito. after all that
has been said in his dispraise.-Boston
Transcript.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
SURE TO WIN.

The people recognize and appreciate
real merit. That is Why Hoods Sar-
saparilla has the largest sales in the
world. Merit in medicine means the
power to cure. Hoods Sarsaparilla
cures-absolutely, permanently cures.
1t is the One True Blood Purifier. Its
superior merit is an established fact,
and merit wins
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

The Republican national campaign
will open Thursday, August 6. when
Roswell C. Horr, formerly OF Michigan
but now of New York, and Senator j.
c. Burrows, of Michigan. will take the
stump. going first TO Minnesota and
Nebraska
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
HUaIoR OF THE HOUR.

First Little Boy-And does your sister
play the banjo?
Second Little Boy (proudly)-Indeed she
does You just ought to hear her! She's
a graduate of Vassar, she is!-New York
Weekly. sets
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Young Coke is a legal light, isn't hep
said Birmingham TO Manchester, refer
ring to a Pittsburg lawyer.
He is legal lightweight, if that is
what you mean" replied Manchester
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

cooking school. Yes, lndeedl Now, that
girl yonder is noted for her strong de-
signs in biscuits, while that girl off there
makes the loveliest pre-Raphaelite angel
food. "-Detroit Tribune.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Chairman Hanna is said to re-
gard the situation as serious, and is
said to be in no way disposed to be-
little The gravity Of it. This IS a very
marked change from the view he took
of matters a month ago.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

''rhe. Provo Enquirer is getting more
brave as the days go by. 1t now speaks
Of the silver craze. and in a short
lime we may look for it to call silver
men lunatics and fools like the eastern
Mckinley organs" says the Ephraim
Enternrise.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Henry Watterson says there must be
no compromise with dishonor That
Is the same sentiment than ruled in the
breast of W. c. P. Breckenridge when
he refused 10 comply with Madeline
Poliard's demands.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

The city ordinances are pretty well
enforced generally but a little stricter
enforcement Of the bicycle ordinance
wouid be a very good thing. Searching
Is becoming too frequent.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

= The way the gold men and press are
vSlifyirs and damning the free silver
men makes If certain that they have
mastered Whistler's little book, 1.-THE
Gentle Art OF Making Enemies
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

1t was conceded, on nearly every side,
three months ago, that the Republicans
had a waIkover. Now Democratic hope
is high and the enemy is alarmed. Bets
are offered that Mckinley men cannot
name nine states in the Union that their
candidate will carry. What has produced
this wonderful change all at once? The
answer Is easy-the Democratic platform
and the Democratic nominations at CHI
cago. Would a platform such as was
thought possible three months ago, when
the Democracy was Respondent, have pro-
duced these startling changes Houston
CTeXas) Post.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Charlotte Smith, president of the Wo-
mans Rescue league, discussing the
question, rs the bicycle an aid to i'm
morality" quotes Latin: ''Facilis de-
scensus Avernoi" Certainly, the rem
edy is easy. Use a brake on your bike.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

During a presidential campaign about
the only way to get at the truth is
through prayer and supplication.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Chicago's long man" has been cap
tused. His name is Ormes. Now all
the Chicago papers are singing Ormes
and the man.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Gibbs, do you worry about financial
affairs when you are in church,"
NO; l always wear a very high, stiff
collar so l can concentrate my thoughts"
Providence Journal.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

First Woman-I don't care much for
champagne.
Second Woman-No, it is such a job to
push champagne corks into the bottles
Detroit Tribune.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

The middle-of-the-road Pops are
keeping there because they have been
warned SO many times to keep off the
grass
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

At times it looks as though Mark
Hanna might be hoisted with his own
huisting works at Brown.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

1t will be seen that Mr.. Bryan repudi-
ates all connection and sympathy with
the purposes of the a. P. A. Like Gov
ernor Mckinley, he is Protestant
WITH The 92tn bnreb WE
no symptom of intolerance in either of
them, and any attempt to introduce re-
ligious prejudice into the campaign viii
fan: 1t seems puerle, indeed, to make
and more dignified issues that so serious
ly invoke the attention of the country
Boston Herald.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

If Mr.. Vanderbilt could gain health
as he gains wealth he would be the
happiest man in the world. We wish
that he could.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Princess Maud says her marriage is a
love match. If that be So it cannot
be matched in all the annals of royal
marriages.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

OF course Mr.. Cleveland will support
the ticket He is getting in line every
day he goes fishing.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

So far as the Democratic candidate
is concerned, the original Bryan man is
Judge Bryan, Of Salem, Ill
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

The prospects are that there will be
no national convention this year with
out its bolt
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Editor Dana having repudiated every
thing there is now nothing left for him
TO do but TO die.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Mckinley is still the Napoleon of
protection, but yet his managers are
not bowling about the fact.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Manager Hanna will discard the bar
rel this year but he will substitute for
Al the h0gshead.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

is the enti-third term plank in the
Chicago platform anarchistic and revo-
luhonary, or just good Democratic doc
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

If Mn. Whitney ever enters the presi-
dential race it Will be for the futurity
stakes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

The middle-of-the-road Pops should
change their name to the Via Medals.
That sounds classical
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

CoIector-This account must be settled
Mr.. Shorts. 1t has been running for a
long time.
'sWeH, let it stand a while. New York
Truth.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Mr.. Bryan has been called. an anarA
chist- So was Jefferson.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Mckinley has an impediment in his
speech; it is gold.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

The mayor still holds TO the theory
that public Office is a private snap.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

Hoods Pills are easy to take, easy
to operate. Cure indigestion, head
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

When silver is coined free in America
England will have to pay, instead of Ct
cents an ounce $1.25 an ounce. and in
stead of having that silver go to India
and China and Japan to purchase wheat
and cotton for the English market, it
will go into American channels of bust
ness, having been coined in American
minis, and American wheat and cotton
viii go TO England and be sold for Eng
lish gold.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

SILVER-6s5A.
LEAD-S2S5
CoPPER-Brol1ers II, exchange 10000
5L15.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1896-07-24

place a construction on the st. Louis
platform, and he has accommodated the
Mckinley managers by giving one of his
regulation looking both-ways opinions
New York Journal.