davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-03-09

The ARDMokETTE is in no way rt
sponsible for, nor will IL pay any
debts contracted by any employee OF
this office, unless accompanied by
an order signed by the business
rnnuanar
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1896-03-09

ARDM0RE. IND TER.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

The platform of each OF the great par
ties favors the admission Of the remaining
territories. There is some reason for the
presence OF such a declaration in the
Chicago platform. The territories are
bent on having free silver. II they were
admitted. more strength would be added
TO the silver party in congress. The ter
ritories may not be qualified for state
hood. but they would be entitled to two
votes each in the Senate if they were ad-
mitted; and that is the consideration in
practical politics. So far as the repub-
liean party is concerned, the plank favor
ing the admission of the territories Is a
bunco game. 1t is put in merely to catch
votes In November. The republican par
~. standing on a gold platform. would
probably not admit the territories If it
could do so to-day without waiting for the
action of congress.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

From the London Lancet.
He must not walk his rounds for fear his
patients think him poor
And dearly do they love to see a carriage
at their door;
And If his horse is fat The must have lit
tale work to do"
And If he's lean the reason is che
starves the poor old screw"
Should he call upon his patients every
day when they are i'll
His motive plainly is ito make a great
big doctors BILL"
II he visits them less frequently-thus
less ming their expense
The chances are he'll be accused of will
ful negligence.
He must work all day and half the night
and never say he's tired,
For the public look upon him Simply as
servant hired
And should he take holiday be,I 6po
when he comes back
Some patients have resented it by sivine
him "the sack"
Concerning money he must seem indiffer-
ent to be
And folks viii think he practices from
pure philanthropy
When We hear him Boosting of the guineas
that he earns
We wonder If they appear in his income.
tax returns.
About his own Affections he must never
say word
The motion of a doctors being i'll is so
absurd
And when, perchance. from overwork. he's
laid upon the shelf
HIS sympathizing patients say; "Phvsi.
clan, heal thyself."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
Not onite Thnt nnh.

The English newspapers have a much
better knowledge Of our political affairs
nowadays than they had a few years
ago. but they still make statements that
give wrong impressions to their readers.
The London Chronicle. for instance. in
commenting upon the Chicago platform,
says that If such a catastrophe should
occur in this country as the election of
a silver president the United States would
have to face ruin and civil war
Nobody is talking about civil war in
this country, though in the Chicago con-
vention Gov. Tnlman insisted that the
money question was a sectional one and
that the south had cut loose from the east
and burned the bridges that connected
the two sections. He was sharply re-
buked by another southern man, and the
rebuke had the approval of the conven-
ton. 1t can be stated, therefore without
much fear of contradiction. that whatever
the outcome of the contest over the sill
yer question is. there will be no civil war
Unless it be Gov. Tillman and Gov. Alt
geld we don't think anybody wants civil
war or a division of the country. If such
a thing should be seriously suggested
there would be mighty protest from
silverites and those who favor sound mon
ey. There is plenty of patriotism in the
country-enough to keep the good ship
of state from drifting into the breakers
The opposing forces on the money
question will have a great battle. but it
VIII be a battle of ballots, and the de-
feated party will acquiesce in the de-
cislon reached at the ballot box 1t may
be that there are among the English
people those who would like to see the
republic again torn by civil war, but if
there are they are not likely to be graf
ifed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
BILL. Mithout Hnrn..

william S. Walsh has written a
Handy Book OF Literary CuriOsitiesT
from which the following were
selected: An Irishman got out
OF MS carriage al ralH az
station for refreshments. but the
bell rang and the train left before he
had finished his repast- "Hould on
cried Pat, as be ran Ike mailman after
the car, 'houid OF. ye murther'n Ould
stame inJin; you've got passenger on
board that's left behindr'
My dear. come in and go TO bed" said
the wife Of jolly son OF Erin who had
Just returned from the fair IN decidedly
how-come-yOu-sO state; you must be
dreadful tired sure. with your long walk
Of six miles" "Arrah. get away with
your nonsense" said Pat; "it wasn't the
length Of the way AT all that fatgued
me; twas the breadth OF It."
A domestic newly engaged presented 10
his master one morning a pair OF boots,
the leg Of one Of which was much long
er than the other.
How comes it that these boots are not
OF the same lengthT'
4 rally don't know. sir; but what both
ers me the most Is that the pair down.
stairs are In the same TX"
An Irishman having feet OF different
sizes ordered his boots 70 be made ac-
cordingiy. His directions were obeyed.
out as he tried the smallest boot on his
largest foot he exclaimed, petuiantiy:
"Confound that fellow I ordered him
to make one larger than the other and
instead OF that he has made one smaller
than the other.
Two Irishmen were working in a quar-
~. when one OF them fell into a deep
quarry-hole. The other, alarmed, came
70 the margin OF the hole and called out:
'Arrah, Pat. are ye killed entirely2 If
ye're dead, spake." Pat treasured him
from the bottom by saying IN answer:
No, Tim, I'm not dead, but I'm spache-
less"
An Irish hOstler was sent to the sta Bile
to bring forth a travellers horse. Not
knowing which Of the two strange horses
in the stalls belonged to the traveller
and wishing to avoid the appearance of
ignorance in his business, he saddled
both animals and brought them to the
door The traveller pointed out his own
horse, saying: That's my nag"
Certainly, yer honor; I know hat; but
l didn't know which one OF them was the
other gentleman's."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
No Joke for the Joker

The practical joker was saunterine along
in the dusk. says Tit Bits. The inof-
fensive citizen was sauntering along in
the same dusk, unmindful of the pres-
ence of the practical joker. The practi-
cal joker, recognizing a friend in the
inonensive citizen, chuckled TO himself
and quickened himself to overtake him
The inoffensive citizen was thinking of
story he had read about footpads. and
wondering whether any one would ever
try to hold him up. The practical Joker
suddenly tipped the inoffensive citizens
hat over his eyes. The inoffensive citizen
wheeled instantly and landed a fine. large
blow between the practical joker's ewes
The practical joker went down The in
offensive citizen promptly sat on him and
hit him again The practical joker yell
ed:
For heavens sake, don't hit me again
John! Don't you know me?"
. The inoffensive citizen said: Great
The practical joker said, in an injured
tone; Hang it all, John, it's only a
The inofensive citizen looked at the
practical joker, who now had one eve
closed, and laughed The practical Joker
angrily asserted that ii was no laughing
matter
But you said it was a joke" returned
the inoffensive citizen, land l think YOU
are right" And he laughed again But
the practical joker hasn't been able to
see the point of it to this day. Still. il
was unquestionably a good joke.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
YOUR PALATE IS YOUR STON-
AGH'S CONSCIENCE.
YOUR STOMACH KNOWS WHAT Is
GOOD FOR YOU.

Thin people are thin because the food
they eat Is not absorbed Reasons, either
wrong food. or right food undigested.
Fat. oils and grease will not make any
one fat. This is because they are indi-
gestible. Thin people find IL hard 10 d.
gest their food Fatty foods make 1t stiu
harder.
Have you ever noticed that almost
without exception. thin, pale. dyspeptfc.
anaemic people have an aversion TO fatP
This is Of itself proof enough that such
foods are bad for them.
Let your palate tell you what to eat
Nature makes very few mistakes and We
should listen to what she says
Thin people may become fatter, and dvs-
peptics more comfortable by taking ire
Shaker Digestive Cordial 1t agrees with
the weakest stomach. 1t helps the veal
stomach digest other food. Ii Is fatten-
ing and invigorating in itself, for il con-
tains artihcialiy digested food
The Mount Lebanon Shakers have made
a great many interesting disco nerias
within the past hundred years, but none
more important than this ingenious clIre
for all diseases which are traceable ~
faulty digestion. single 10-cent bottle
will tell whether II is adapted to vour
case, and can be had through any drug
gist
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

II Is a very hckle wind that is blowing
through PETERS whiskers these days. Il
blows hot and cold. and east and west, m
the most erratic way. with no regard
whatever for the prophecies or the logic
Of the situation. The day Mr. Bryan was
nominated PETER said he was a good man.
the Dopulists liked MIN. and would prob
ably indorse him. Let II be known"
said Pener. that in the event Of his
success the cabinet would be made up OF
such men as Morgan Of Alabama. Teller
OF Colorado. Altgeld Of Illinois. slbley Of
Pennsylvania. and some excellent repre-
sentative populists. and Bryan would
sweep the country Then the wind
changed. and the next time a reporter
came within earshot OF PETER he express
ed the opinion that the populists would
not indorse Bryan. but would nominate
their own man at St. Louis and support
him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

The MORNING NEWS IS published
every day In the year. and is served 10
subscribers in the city. or sent by mail.
At sl.O0 a month. 500 for six months. ana
5000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mail. SIX
times a week without Sunday issuel'
three months. 500; elk months. Sioy' one
year. $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS. Issues week
Monday and Thursday by mail, one year
$50.
Subscriptions payable In advance. ke-
nit u postal order check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk Of
Eenders.
Transient advertisements, other tnah
special column. local OF reading notices,
amusement and cheap or want column
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines OF agate
eype-equal 10 one inch square in depth
IS the standard OF measurement Con-
tract rates and discounts made known on
application at business Office.
Orders for delivery Of the MORNING
NEWS 10 either residence or place OF
business may be made by postal card OF
through telephone No. 30. Any irregu-
sarity in delivery should be Immediately
reported to the office OF publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE. % Park Row. New
York City. c. S. Faulkner, Manager
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
ForeIEn Mission. and silver.

Those who have the distribution Of the
church money for foreign missions are
speaking out IN behalf Of the existing gold
standard. Dr.. Homer Eaton. treasurer
OF the Missionary society OF the Northern
Methodist Episcopal church, says that
yer coinage at the existing ratio. one-half
OF the foreign missionaries would have
10 be retired from mission work. because
there would not be enough money TO pay
them their salaries. The missionary
funds OF the churches would be cut in
half
AT the present time the drafts on the
treasurer OF the Northern Methodist Mis-
sionary Society are cashed without hest
tation IN any part Of the heather coun-
tries in which the Missionaries are at
work. In China, for instance. the drafts
OF missionaries are cashed promptly by
the banks. but. strange as it may seem.
these banks will not cash a draft unless
the word gold is written across its face.
China is a silver country. but her banks
Will accept only gold drafts from mission
aries.
DR.. Eaton says that Notwithstanding the
fact that silver is the standard OF value
in many countries. the commercial world.
civilized and heather. Is on a gold basis.
II this country, therefore. should go TO a
silver basis, the managers Of missionary
funds would have 10 purchase gold with
which to meet their obligations to the
missionaries. Is.
It can be seen readily that II we should
abandon the gold basis for silver one,
about one half OF our missionary force
would be without an occupation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
VIII There BE Another Ticket,


The question which sound money demo-
Gratis. who cannot consistently support
tie Chicago ticket are considering is
whether they shall call an
other democratic convention or
vote for Mai. Mckinley. a Wash
inr;on special 10 the New York
Times says. IF it shall be decided that the
preservation Of the public credit can be
accomplished best by a solid sound money
vote for Mckinley. pressure will be
brought 20 bear upon Mckinley and his
managers 20 make two declarations.
namely. that no compromises with silver
shall receive McKinley's approval
during his term Of office. and that tariff
agitation shall cease. except IN respect
to some single and simple new source Of
revenue"
It is not improbable that Mckinley
would not hesitate to make the first de-
claration. because he appears 10 be much
more strongly in favor Of the existing gold
standard than he was when he was nom
mated. On Saturday. in a speech at his
home in Canton TO the Foraker Club Of
Cleveland, he said: THE currency and
the credit of the government are good now
and must be kept good forever. We have
the same currency that we had in 1872
good the world over and unquestioned by
any people. Then We had unexampled
credit and prosperity"
From the foregoing it is evident that
Mai. Mckinley would not hesitate to grant
the first demand of sound money demo-
Gratis. but how about the second-that
relative to the tariff? Would he grant
that? 1t is not at all probable that he
would. He could not without practically
abandoning his platform. 1t is we'll known
that 1t was his purpose. and also that
Of his managers before and during the
meeting OF the ST. Louis convention, to
push the tariff 20 the front and. II posi-
BILE, make II the leading issue Of the cam
paign. They have found out by this time
probably that the tariff will not receive
much attention from the democrats, and
that therefore the republicans would be
wasting time by giving much attention
to #. sun. Maj. Mckinley could not ar
ford to put himself on record as being
willing to abandon the tariff during the
present campaign. If he should do so
tens of thousands Of republicans would
refuse to vote for him. 1t can be safely
said that under no circumstances would
he be willing to abandon the tariff plank
Of the republican platform.
Therefore. If the going of the solid
sound money democratic vote to Maj Nc
Kinley depends upon the conditions men
toned 1t is quite certain that It will never
go 70 him. II sound money democrats
vote for Mai. Mckinley they will have
to accept his platform. Maj Mckinley
would not be justified in making any
promises contrary to it's provisions.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

The bitterest and most relentless foe
that the south ever had is the republican
party. All of the political evils that the
south has suffered since the republican
party came into existence and power
sprang from that party. The republican
party deprived southern states of their
individuality, put criminals in authority
in their temples of justice, turned thieves
into the state treasures and their legis-
latures and held them there at the point
of the bayonet. 1t melted the recently
freed slaves TO deeds of violence, and
made liberty a farce. The people of the
south have not forgotten. and VIII not
forget, the reconstruction period and the
republican party's part in that black page
Of American history. All that the south
is to-day she owes to the democratic par
ty. She will, therefore, bear much from
that party before she will desert it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

Washington dispatch 10 the New York
Times. which We reprint this morning.
says that Mr. sewall Of Maine. who has
been nominated on the ticket with Mr..
Bryan. became a free silverite because
he was mad with President Cleveland for
declining TO give his son an ONCE. 1t
would be interesting TO know how much
Of the opposition 10 Cleveland has been
occasiOned. by men who are mad because
he declined TO give their sons Offices. If
Mr. Cleveland were a patronage monger
and a practical politician OF the class that
seems to be in such iourishing condition
at present. he might have been offered a
fourth Nomination and a third term.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

When Tillman had finished his speech
in the convention the other day, young
woman in the gallery mounted chair
and waved her handkerchief and shouted
and danced. Tillman could not hear what
she said. but he was quite sure she had
been carried away by the eloquence Of
his effort Presently the young woman
was seen to get down from the chair and
start down the aisle. Tnlman, who had
been kissed in Denver after a speech
he made there, by a woman enthusiast.
was satisfied that the young woman from
the gallery was coming for him. and
spat out his tobacco and began cork
screwing his mouth into shape for the
anticipated osculatory exercises. But it
transpired that the young woman was
shouting for Bo.es all the time. The
South Carolina senator. after waiting in
vain for few minutes. resumed his to-
bacco and permitted his features to re-
lax into their customary benignant soft
ness.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

One morning when, by mistake. we had
arrived a the store ten minutes before
the arrival Of the boss with the keys,
the men were amusing themselves relating
their experiences with various custom.
ers, says Hardware.
why is it," asked the Tool Man, thar
so many people get twisted with cork
screws and screwdrivers?"
Mature of the toll" suggested the Cut
lery Man.
Whatever the reason" continued the
Tool Man, Il have observed the almost
universal confusion of screwdriver and
corkscrew. 1t is an everyday occurrence
with ladies as well as men, only a lady
asks for a cOrckscreW, meaning a screw
driver and man for a screwdriver,
meaning a corkscrew, and then look at
you surprised.
or when they want lid litter" said
the Stove Man, nine people out Of ten
ask for a stove litter"
Dir you ever notice." remarked the
cutlery Man, how a man or a woman
express themselves when at "A loss for a
name? The woman who asks for clear
tacks got what she wanted as quickly
as though she had asked for timed
tacks. Such requests give opportunities
for mental gymnastics, and thus relieve
the lethargic tendencies incident to con-
tinuous routine work
The other day a lady came rustling
into the store; she was one of those ner-
vous, oustling little women, and she want
ed pair of 'twinchers' Noticing my
blank look, she said: You know, like
this, making motion with her thumb
and forehnger that at once suggested
'tweezers.' When a man wants an ar
ticle ne can't name, he gets out a pencil,
tears the back from an envelope and pro-
ceeds to give an idea"
"A lady gave me an idea" again re.
marked the Stove Man, ION selling gas
stoves. While show them to her, She
asked some question to which confessed
ignorance. To my surprise she said Wen,
you may send me this one. / asked Mr.
- (naming competitior) that question,
ana ne told me so much / did not know
what to believe, but do believe you "
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
ISDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings-Catholic Library Association;
Ancient Landmark Lodge No. 23l, T. and
A NJ: Savannah Yacht Club
Special Notices-Patapsco Flour, Etc.
A. NJ. c. W. West: Bedbugs Bad?
Adams Drug. Paint and OIL Company
Dr. Sidney J. Lanier's Return.
our SO Suit Sale-B. II. Levy & Bro.
save Your 10 Per Cent-B. II. Levy q
BRO.
Collars-Cluetts Collars.
Mineral Water-Apenta.
Don't Forget This-Faik Clothing Com
pany.
And the Sale Goes On-Appel & schaul.
Medical-World's Dispensary Prepara-
aions; Cuticura Remedies
Cheap Column Advertisements-He
Help Wanted; Employment Wanted; For
Rent; For Sale; Lost: Personals Miscel-
laneous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

Mckinley looks like Napoleon. Bryan
looks like Mckinley. Mckinley and Bry-
an are both beardless; so was Napoleon.
Mckinley is a Methodist. Bryan is a
Presbyterian: so are Cleveland and Har-
rison. Mckinley is a poor man. Bryan
is just about as poor. Hobart is a very
rich man. Sewall is a little richer. Ho-
bart wears only moustache in the way
of hirsuit adornment. The same is true
of sewan. Mckinley and Bryan are
good western men" Hobart and Sc
wall are both Atlantic coast tidewater
men. Mckinley and Hobart are of the
same age. sewan is old enough TO be the
father Of Bryan; yet there is a difference
of only seven years in the combined ages
of the republican and democratic nomi-
nees. Mckinley is a lawyer; so is Bryan
Mckinley made his reputation talking
tariff; so did Bryan. Hobart is a manu-
facturer of protected articles and a can
italist So is Sewall He builds ships
and some Of the most obnoxious and com
merce-hlling protectlonism on the statute
books is in the shape of laws for the ben
eft Of New England ship builders, at
the expense Of shippers and shipping mer-
chants. There are many points of SINH
larity between the republican and the
democratic national tickets. Yet they are
about as far apart as they could possibly
-
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

1t is a little interesting to obtain a
glance at the antecedents Of Mr.. sewall
OF Maine. The family came TO this coun-
try in colonial days and settled in Massa-
chusetts. They were energetic, frugal and
prolific people hence there are many of
them in New England now, and all Well
to-do. Samuel sewall of Salem, Mass.
FIRST brought the family into prominence.
Tie was the presiding judge in the fam
Gus Salem wltchcraft trials.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14
CURRENT COMMENT.
Boiling Democratic Papers.


From the New York Herald Qnd).
New York Sun.
New York Times.
New York Post
New York Stats Zeituug.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Boston Globe.
Philadelphia Times.
Philadelphia Record.
Chicago Chronicle
Chicago Stats Zeitung
Louisville Courier-Journai.
Louisville Evening Times.
Louisville Evening Post.
Louisville Anzeiger.
Richmond Times-Democrat.
Richmond State.
Hartford Times
Hartford Telegram.
New Haven Morning News.
New Haven Register
Bridgeport Evening Farmer.
Buffalo Courier.
Buffalo Demokrat
Charleston News and Courier
Trenton True American.
Trenton Evening Times.
Newark Sunday Can.
Easton Express. ,sE
Lewiston Sun. ssfN
Mobile Register ..fgi0
Galveston News.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-07-14

Alexander Huh of Atlanta some time
ago formulated and published a demand
for the monetization of iron at the ratio
of 16 to l with gold Quite consistently.
it was merely bit of clever irony. show
ing the failacies of the silver arguments.
Ii has had very wide circulation. Even
Candidate Mckinley has read and laughed
over it. and pronounced it one Of the best
hits Of the campaign.