The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-07-31
ideas for dWulnen.



Did you ever come in contact with pec-
pie who had much the same effect upon
you as you would have upon a cat if
va rubbed its fur the wrong waye
During the summer outing, at the sea-
shors or mountain resorts, where hosts
of people are (sometimes selfshly) IN
search Of a good time, we meet those
who are almost sure to make US feel, at
every speech they make, an almost ir-
resistible desire to take up cur eudgels
in defence of our own ideas of good breed
ing and high principles.
Unfortunately. after people have grown
into manhood and w~omanhoed with per-
verse IDEAS and distorted principles, little
can be do7e towards Improving or max
ing them desirable acquaintance. But
if we can CLEAN ON lessons for ourselves
and for the training of our little ones,
from noting these unpleasant habits Oh
other psople's our summer outing viii have
a two-fold benefit.
We meet them in swarms during the
sumnler season-lfttle ones who nave
started out on their vacation trip with
the idea Of having a delightful time, and
then spelling all their pleasure with uneir
own selfshness. One very essentlal les
son a child should learn is the art OF
tactfully sharing its joys as well as its
toys; the art of giving generously ana
gracefully. not as If solely for the pleas
IRE of the recipient. but rather because
il pleases him to give. Never force nor
allow a little one to give grudgingly- nor
for the sake of being praised. Try to
make him understand from infancy the
meaning Of a large minded generosity that
expects neither praise nor reward except
the pleasure which comes from giving
pleasure to Others.
Nothing can be more calling than to
be repeatedly reminded of a present one
has received. or a favor that has been
conferred upon one by the giver or oene-
factor; yet many people cannot give the
veriest trihe without a valiant erdeavor
to exalt their tiny mole-hill into a noun
tain. probably in some such fashion as the
following
.sYou received my little present?'
Knowing perfectly we'll that you had
done go from your own politely expressed
thanks). $50 glad it pleased you. 1t
was the best I could find. I thought 1t
very likely you were without one" etc.
in a pompou seif-laudatory manner that
fills you with an intense longing to fling
LlE Siit Rd%h WlAa ~
they appear to place so much higher
value on it than You do they had better
retain il But this one annot do The
wrath must subside. and the plumage
smoothed as best enc can. while politely
assuring the friend that the kindness is
fully appreciated.
Perhaps before many days another MEM
Der Of the same family will go into rap
lures over the gift you have Just received
with so much inward annoyance If you
happen to say from whom it carne they
appear very much astonished. although
their manners compels you to him they
knew all about it from the beginning,
ana that the conversation had been
r->-~ht to thts peint merely the7 YOU
might more fully realize your obligation
to the giver.
rn.s may seem an overdrawn picture.
bat it is true TO life. and now that we
have the little ones under our special
care at vacation time we should see that
they are not allowed to fall into this
unpleasant habit Of spelling a gift. or any
act Of generosity.
A thing once given. and the giver
aware that it has been duly received by
him and his family IT should be forgotten
This one habit of narrow. self-laudatory
generosity ~ sewers ~snnaraera5le friend
hips
Another important lesson for the little
ne to learn is to appreciate true gener-
Sty. Children are very apt TO accept
Gifts and faVors as if they were merely
their due. without considering that even
a triie may have caused some one a great
deal of seif-denial to relinquish. Teach
them to be sincerely grateful whenever
gratitude is due; even when the giver's
manner destroys the charm Of the gift,
they should never be allowed to forget
true politeness.
To a sensitive person 1t causes keen
modification after Offering a gift to have
IT rejected. either with an il-bred II don't
care for it. never use it, or mo. thank
you. have some of the same sort at
home" Such remarks are often made by
people who are considered weil-bred.
Doubtless they have acquired this unfor-
tunate habit when teo young to see the
u-npleasantness of it. and it has been al
lowed to grow with their growth. Mothers
cannot watch their little ones too closely
for such unfortunate manner as these,
and the correction of them should never
be postponed to some future time.
Wren away from home a child should
never be allowed TO gay, 81 don't care
for IT," or 81 never eat them etc. They
can be taught to refuse politely without
such speeches as these; for. innocent
though they be. they may quite unintan-
tionally give offense. Besides, it may be
the means of keeping some more timid
child from enjoying something that he
considers very delightful and perhaps sell
dom has the opportunity of participating
in.
Neither must a child be encouraged to
repeat 10 one person what he has just
heard from another. OF be questioned by
another in regard TO his associates until
he has fallen into the habit Of gossip;
and exaggeration should be especially
guarded against and all other unpleasant
little habits Of this sort, which are CROP
ping up emong the masses we daily meet
during the vacation travels and summer
outings.
summer time, as sung by the poets, is
an fdyllic state Of existence. The genial
sunshine beams on a grateful world,
wherein we bask with gratitude.
we live cut of doors. we have tea un-
der the trees. and we idly beat on the
calm and quiet waters Of sea. river or
aakes All work is put on one side. and
,we make holiday witt a clear conscience.