davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
In TOmny's Head.

| was at one time teacher Of the first
primary grade in the public schools mt y.
1t was rule to give IA short oral lesson
in physiology ON Friday afternoons and to
illustrate the lesson from large chart.
Among my pupils was small boy called
Tommy, who was almost an innocent.
Teachers had labored long and faithful
~ with him, but nothing had ever seemed
to interest him in the least. He would
only come occasionally, but | noticed that
on 'chart day" as the children called it,
Tommy was always there He loved that
chart, and his admiration for tho hideous
pictures on it knew no bounds.
Ono Friday our lesson concerned the
head and brain. Knowing Tommy's love
for tho pictures, placed him where ho
could get good view of tho chart and
tried long and hard to impress upon him
that his head contained his brain / real
ly thought that at last had made an i'm
preston and saw a CLEAN of intelligence
ON his dull little face. AT that moment
the superintendent happened in to make a
call, and thinking had accomplished
wonders (Tommy's fame having reached
him) l called on Thomas to tell where his
brain was. He gave me blank look and
remained silont. l tried again and put tho
question in another form.
"Now, Tommy" / said, "tell Mr.. M.
what is in your head"
Tho little hand shot up, and Tommy
fairly roared out, "A bad cold"
1t was my last attempt to show Tommy
of in public. Chicago Times sHerald.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
SEEKING A SAFE PLACE.
The Boarding House Pleased Him Except
In One Respect.

The Boarding House Pleased Him Except
In One Respect.
Tho young man who had answered tho
advertisement surveyed the room critical
ly.
sit is quite satisfactory. " he said at last.
The boarding house keeper gave sigh
of relief.
"When shall we expect your" she asked
'Not so fast, please" returned the
young man. "Thero are some other de-
tails to be settled that are even more inn
portant than the plan and location of the
room.
II think you will be satisfied with the
table, sir, suggested the landlady.
II don't doubt it at all" he answered.
'sAnd the price isl
"Quite satisfactory" he interrupted.
but am II little particular in regard to
the people whom / shall be Obliged to
meet In fact, it is solely because of that
that am leaving my present quarters.
'Only those whose characters are above
Ieproach are''-
"Of course, of course" he interrupted
again. May l ask if you have any Ia
dies among your boarders?"
Soi'aihiy. ooNofni VI tlo SoHuioiiSh
are married, and their wives are naturally
with them.
"Oh, that's all right But how about
unmarried ladiese'
'There are two.'
"And widows?"
Cone"
He picked up his hat and started for the
door,
But, sir, they aro"- she began.
"Madam," he replied, 81 have no doubt
at all that they are very estimable ladies,
and / should be very glad to make their
acquaintance any time except during leap
year. But am taking no chances now"
Chicago Post.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
SUNBEAMS.

In one of the frontier counties of Texas
few residents we're fixing upa political
slate, so that all would have place at the
public crib.
There, said one, reckon about every
body has something but old Tom Jones.
Might make him constable.
No; be can't read--couldn't serve war
rant.
Justice of the peace, suggested another.
That won't do, because he can't write,
either. Reckon the old fellow will have
to go hungry.
That would never work, said another;
he would throw his influence against Us.
I shoul think the school board was the
place for Tom.
Didn't think of that. Put him down
for the best place on the board.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

danger into safety and pain into case 1t is
a medicine which has but one object. 1t is
good for but one thing. 1t strengthens and
invigorates the organs distinctly feminine,
it promotes regularity of the functions,
allays irritation and Inflammation, checks
unnatural, exhausting drains, and puts the
whole delicate organism into perfect condi-
ton. Almost all of the ills Of womankind
are traceable to some form of what is known
as female complaint" And this gener.
ally begins either at the time of puberty OF
Childbirth, or at the "Mrn of life"
There are not three cases in hundred of
woman's peculiar diseases that DR.. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription will not cure. Thou
sands of grateful women have been rem
dered healthy and happy by its use, and
the experience and testimony of many of
them has been included in Dr. Pierce's
Common Sense Medical Adviser
When Dr. Pierce published the first edition of
his work, The Peoples Common Sense Medical
Adviser, he announced that after ESQ 900 copies
had been sold at the regular price 50 per copy
the profit on which would repay him for the
great amount of labor and money expended i'll
producing it, he would give away the next half
million FREE He is now distributing ABSOLUTELY
aud valuable common sense medical work ever
published The recipient only being required to
mail to the Worlds Dispensary Medical Assoca-
ton, at Buffalo, n Y, twenty-one ten one-cent
will be sent postpaid. 1t is veritabe medical
library, complete in one volume. 1t contains
over 1000 page and more than 300 illustrations.
The Eiee EdiiioA is precisely the same as that
sold at .$r.so except only that the books are
bound in strong MANILA paper covers instead
of cloth. 'Send NOW before all are given away.
They are going off rapidly. therefore. do not
delay sending Immediately If you want one.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Proposals for military supplies at road
stations.-Ofice Of the Chief Quartermas-
ter, Denver, Colorado, April Is, 1896.
Sealed proposals, in triplicate, will be re-
ceived at this office until II a. m. on May
is, 1886. and then opened in the presence
of attending bidders, for furnishing Fuel,
Forage and Water, at Road Stations in
the Department of the Colorado during
the fiscal year commencing July l, 1896.
Blank forms for proposals and instruc-
tions to bidders will be furnished on ap-
plication to this Office, or to any Post
Quartermaster in the Department. The
government reserves the right to reject
any or all bids or any part thereof. E.
B. ATWOOD, Major and Chief Q. M.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
paris Not All French.

France is still much troubled over the
strangers within its gates. 1t Is now
found that Paris is not city Of Parisians,
II even Of Frenchmen. Only SO per cent
of Its Inhabitants were born within Its
walls, and ~ in every 1000 were born out
side Of France total Of 1S1, 900 ALIENS
OF these latter no less than 26, 1858 are Ger
mans, while In Berlin there are only 897
Frenchmen. While Paris has 76 foreigners
to the 1000, London has only 20, St.
Petersburg "a, Vienna ~ and Berlin II.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
How to Treat a Wife.
From Pacific Health journal. J

Y
First. get wife; second, be patient
You may have great trials and perplex-
tiles in your business, but do not there
fore, carry to your home cloudy or con-
tracted brow. Your wife may have trials,
which, though of less magnitude, may be
hard for her to bear. kind word, ten
der look, will do wonders in chasing
from her brow all clouds of gloom.-To
this we would add always keep bottle
Of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy in the
house. It is the best and is sure to be
needed sooner or later. Your wife will
then know that you really care for her and
wish to protect her health. For sale
by Ireland's pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
The Salt Of the Earth.

In an old fashioned homo of New Orle-
ans there was a company at dinner, and
the ladies were discussing the woman
question. A gentleman present, after hear
ing all the pros and cons, facetiously re-
marked that two preachers were discuss
ing the same problem recently in his hear
ing, and they both agreed that it portend-
cd evil, and "that women were response
BILE for most of the evil in the world-in
fact, that women were worse than men,"
One of the ladies Indignantly retorted:
Indeed, they are not. Women are the
salt of the earth"
"Dat's SO, honey" put in old Aunt
Susan from the kitchen. ''Dat's do Biblo
truf, for shore! Women is dc salt OBJ dc
earth just think OBJ Lot wife!"
And everybody laughed at the sudden
and unexpected application Of the old BIZ
BILE story. Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Young mothers dread the summer
months ON account of the great m ortality
among children, caused by bowel trou-
bles. Perfect safety may be assured
those who keep on hand DeWitt's Collie
& Cholera cure and administer it prompt
ly. For cramps, bilious. collie, dyssntery
and diarrh9a. It affords inst ant relief.
Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
Reduced Rates.

The Rio Grande 4 Santa Fe and Den
yer q Rio Grande railroads announce
the following reduction in the fret t-class
limited rates from Santa Fe to take effect
at once: Denver, $3.50; Colorado Springs,
$1465; Pueblo, $ls.l5; Cripple Creek,
1856.
Tickets sold at above rates are good to
start only on date Of sale and will be
limited strictly to continuous passage
May |, 1896.
T. j. Helm,
Genl. ARt., Santa Fe, N. M
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
A Poor Relation.

"Who Is that new cashierf He doesn't
look very trustworthy.
II believe he is very near relative Of
the president.
"vary near. All, indeed Well, the
president better have care that his cashier
doesn't become q distant relativel''-- File
sande Blattar.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Don't giggle.
Don't listen to scandal.
Don't defy public opinion.
Don't play on the hotel piano.
Don't believe everything you hear.
Don't sleep all day and dance all night.
Don't walk on the beach after ~ at
night.
Don't form lifelong friendships in three
days.
Don't have "heart talks" with every
man you know.
Don't have your dancing gowns made
too decollete.
Don't show too Lofty scorn for the
chaperon theory.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Would you like to take chance? !?
asked the timid, rosy-cheeked maiden OF
the stranger at the church fair. Would J
exclaimed the stranger radiantly. Well, l
should say would, but-his voice fell
to whisper and the eager light 10 his
eyes died to a fsr-away, sad expression,
I am already married.
For your Protection. - Catarrh "Cures" or
TONES for CataFrh in liquid form to be taken
internally, usually contain either Mercury or
Iodide Of Potassa, or both, which are injur-
ious if too long taken. Catarrh is local, not
blood disease, caused by sudden change to
cold or damp weather. It starts in the nasal
passages, affecting eyes, ears and throat.
Gold in the head causes excessive flow OF
mucus, and, if repeatedly neglected, the re-
suits Of catarTh will follow; severe pain in
the head, roaring sound in the ears, bad
breath, and oftentimes an offensive dis
charge. Theremedy should be quick to allay
inflammation and heal the membrane. Ely's
Cream Balm is the acknowledged cure for
these troubles and contains NO mercury
nor any injurious drug. Price, 80 cents.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

For every quarter in mans pocket
there are dozen uses; and to use each one
in such way as to derive the greatest be.
neft ls question every one must solve
for himself. We believe, however, that
no better use could be made Of one of
these quarters than to exchange itfor a
bottle of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhma RemeGy,a medicine that
every family should be provided with.
For sale by Ireland's pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

hn1Bhs puO Aoys
The dey Of Algiers
And the Maltese knight
In bygone years
We're wont to fight.
But the dey Of Algiers
(And not the knight
Was dark, it appears,
And the knight was light.
Now, they fought by day
And they fought by night.
In the good old way
OF hitting at sight.
And whenever the dey
Was full of might
He would start away
And rout the knight.
But SO, the knight,
When the stronger man,
Would push the fight,
While the black dey ran.
Thus knight chased dey
And dey chased knight
In about the way
That day follows night.
New York Herald
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

In the spring a young mans fancy
lightly turns to thoughts of-DeWitt's
Little Early Risers, for they always cleanse
the liver, purify the blood and invigorate
the system. Nswton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
Ediflcation of Youth.

"copper", the little boy asked, "what
kind of horse is it that they call a plug?"
"a balky one, my son. They call him
that because he is a stopper "-Cincinnati
ENQUIRER.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Mr.. j. W. Brown, editor of the Mineral
Age" Warrior, Ala, says: "After trial
of Simmons Liver Regulator I find it an
excellent remedy for expelling malaria
from the system; and, as remedy for
disease in incipient states it can not be
excelled, and no family should be witout
it," This is strong Endorsement for
Simmons Liver Regulator, but none too
much so.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Eczema is frightful affection, but like
all other skin diseases ii can be perma-
nently cured by applications Of DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve. IL never fails to cure
Piles. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

A. L. Wooster, Il prominent citizen of
Osseo, Mich, after suffering excruciating-
ly from piles for twenty years, was cured
10 short time by using DeWitt's Witch
Hazel Salve, an absolute cure for all
skin diseases. More of this preparation
is used than all others combined. New
toms drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
Before the finished |

Before the finished
fruit come bud and
blossom. Bud grows
into blossom and
blossom into fruit.
And so girlhood
,Ilerges into wornan-
hood and the woman
into motherhood.
The two most crit
ical times in a wo-
mans life are the
times which make
the girl a woman,
and the woman a
mother. At these
times, DR.. Pierce's
Favorite Prescrip-
ton is of incalcula-
BILE value IT turns
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
Dnes Just "A Well.

MARIE you never wear hat at the
theater."
"No, but do my hair up high and fluff
1t out at the sides. "-Chioago Record.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
Are In I'll. Ministry.

Age is at premium In all the profess
sions except the clerical. In the sick
chamber and the courtroom experience
counts for something. In the pulpit it
counts for nothing. Yet If anywhere 1t is
needed it is there. To trent sin sick souls
requires more skill than to treat diseased
bodies, and skill is the ripe fruit of expert
ence Draw the "dead line'' where you
will, at 40, IS or SO, it can undoubtedly
be- demonstrated that where ministers
have been favored with the opportunity by
the grace of the churches the most OF
them have accomplished their best work
and achieved the grandest results after the
EXTREMIST ''dead line" limit has been pass
ed.-Christian Intelligenoer.
Mr.. D.. p. Davis, a prominent livery
man and merchant of Goshen, Va, has
this to say on the subject Of rheumatism: !:
ri take pleasure in recommending Cham
berlain's Pain Balm for rheumatism, as /
know from personal experience that IL
will do all that is claimed for IL. year
ago this spring my brother was laid up
in bed with inAammatory rheumatism and
suffered intensely. The first application
Of Chsmberlain's Pain Balm eased the
pain and the use Of one bottle completely
CURED him. For sale By Ireland's phar-
macy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Mr.. Uptown Flatte-For the love OF
heaven, Elizabeth, what is that machine
you've got there?
Mrs. Y. F.-That is the housewives
cathode camera, John, built especially to
enable woman to see if the letters in
trusted to hubbys care have boon mailed.
New York World.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Farmer--Pat, did you count all the pigs
when you drove them into the yard?
Pat Yis, sor, OF did, all but wan, an
he run go fast Oh Couldn't count him, sor.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15
(5 days
better.

The art of car.build-
ing gets more exact
more artistic-BETTER
every year. 1895 turned
out far Rner cars than
1894, and 1885 is way
ahead of 1895.
The new sleepers in
service on the Burling-
tons fast trains between
Denver, Omaha and Chi
cago are products of 1885.
There are ten of them
altogether - oil fresh
from the Pullman Com
pany's shops all with
wide vestibllles-Pintish
gas-elegant upholstery
new carpets - wide
berths-up-tO.date meth
otls of ventilation and
sanitation.
They are q whole year
newer-S65 DAYS BET
TER-than cars running
over competing lines.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Did the jury find the prisoner guilty ?
ina uired q man concerning burglar. No,
sir, responded the policeman; they didn't
find him at all. He got away.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

One swallow does not make Spring, but
one swallow of One Minute Cough Cure
brings relief. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Landlords seem to be having it all their
own way now. Here mine has doubled
my rent.
For what reason!
He heard my wife singing The babies
in our fat.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Don't fool away your money buying
worthless remedies, which are warranted
DeWitt's Sarsaparilla is blood purifier
and blood maker. Newton's drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

Quizz-I say, now do you really believe
that ignorance ia bliss?
Fizz-I don't know; You seem to be
happy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

t. He-I can't find words to express my
love for you, said a New York dude to an
actress.
sheSuppose, then, you write it out in
fgures-in check.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

One Minute is the standard time, and
One Minute Cough Cure is the standard
preparation for every form of cough or
cold. 1t is the only harmless remedy that
produces immediate results. Newton's
drug store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1896-05-15

q. ". vAIIsnv, General Assat, Denver
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
The Problem In Launching a Ship.

Impressive as the launch of a great
vessel always is, it nevertheless seems a
simple matter. All there is TO do is to
build two toboggan slides under the
ship, raise her from the supports on
which she has been resting, put lot of
tallow on the slides, and, when you are
ready, saw loose the thick plank that
holds the ship by the nose and let her
glide into the water. You must have
the wine to christen her, and q crowd
to cheer her, and some tugs to catch her
and bring her back to her pier; but all
these are mere details, and it would
seem as if any ship could almost launch
herself if she had half chance.
A launch is simply taking ship from
the side Of a stream down to the bank
and dropping her in the water where
she belongs This involves the task Of
lifting a mass of iron, in a ship like
the st. Louis, of about 1000 tons, and
the work of lowering it carefully for
distance of from 20 to 40 feet All this
has TO be done in the space Of about 30
seconds, during which the vessel moves
nearly 600 feet At once you can see
that this is an enormous task. 1t in
wolves the greatest responsibility in
short time that the shipbuilder meets.
There is no opportunity to correct err
rors Every mechanical appliance must
work to perfection, and the manual de-
tails must be as nicely adjusted as the
parts Of watch. You can launch YES
sci, as you can build one, on the rule OF
thumb or the hit or miss plan, and you
may not come to grief; but it is best to
put all these things in charge Of that
master spirit called science, which has
done so much for our physical advance
ment in this world, for then you know
that it will be done properly. -" Launch
ing a Great Vessel" by Franklin Mat
thews, in ST. Nicholas.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

The crow Of these birds. which may
seem to the unobservant very UNMARRIED
sound. discloses 10 those who have low
ingly studied thcm at least half dozen
distinct notifications In the fiedgling
male who just begins TO feel the spirit
Of his kind, and who gees through his
performance in the adolesccnt way. il is
n cheap and often pitiful call From the
open roost in the trees, where the birds
are gradually aroused by the slow com
ing day. we can often hear the note OF
the half awakened cock. ns full Of the
sense OF slumber as tho speech Of sleep.
ing man. AS the creature gradually
awakons his cry becomes more resonant.
until IL has the true morning ring
Brave as is this note of the full day. il
is not TO be compared with the Growing
Of n gamecock, the most splendid brag.
CART sound Of all the animal world--
Scribner's
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

"What success have you hads'
"Fajr. I've got dwarf COW. IL only
weighs 245 pounds and is no Digger
than large dog. 1t came from the west
In load Of common cattle, and though
il isn't much Of an abnormity, YET "
serves in the summer season. D"aiA
animals with bit Of fixing and TO
nance stuck on them Of some sort make
fair attractions. They are easier TO nan
die than giants and require less keep;
"Do you get many human freaks!
"a good human freak is worth a
great deal now. II can be anything aD-
normal, no matter how disgusting It Is
That's the way the public runs. Take a
man who is willing to parade queer
deformity before the eyes of the people
and he can make good money. got a
woman with horses name last week
down in Pennsylvania, and she is book
ed for a number Of places. But there Gro
others like her, so that detracts from
her value. Something must be unique
before high money is paid. I've got an
attraction that will make the public
eyes bulge if can book It, lisa young
boy with a long, hairy tail, just like a
dogs. Boy wants to come, you know,
but the old man, who is a pious old
farmer, won't let him. He'll come
round, though, before long.
"How do you keep track Of all these
things?'
81 have friends all over, and keep a
good eye on the newspapers. I'm going
from here to Texas. There 4 girl down
there that's a wonder. Electric two
headed girl That's square. One head is
white and the other black, and she's full
of sparks. She could run whole trolley
system. they tell me. Say, don't go
away. That's on the level Just watch
the papers. You'll hear of her. Shes
the greatest thing I've struck in dog S
age. Buffalo Express.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
HE MuLLIeAN LETTERS.
Biaine's Dramatic Reading In Congress OF
the Famous Correspondence.

Biaine's Dramatic Reading In Congress of
the Famous Correspondence
After the morning hour on Mon day,
June 8, Mr.. Blaine rose to a question of
privilege He began his remarks by OBJ
serving that ths investigation. though
authorized in general terms, was aimed
solely and only at himself. "The famous
witness. Mulligan. he said, had select
ed out of years of correspondence letters
which he thought would be peculiarly
damaging to him, Blaine, but they had
nothing to do with that investigation.
He, Blaine, obtained them under err
cumstances known to everybody, and
defied the house to compel him to pro
duce them. Had Mr.. Blaine stopped
here his enemies could have made him
bite the dust Apparently he had allow
ed himself to be driven into fatal cul-
de-sac. Not so.
Having vindicated his right to the
letters he proceeded in his most dramat-
ic manner: "Thank God Almighty
am not afraid to show them. There
they are holding up package Of let
tersl. There is the very original pack
age. And with some sense of humilia-
ton. with a modification that do not
pretend to conceal, with n sense Of out
rage which l think any man in my po-
sition would feel, l invite the conf
deuce Of $4,000, 900 Of my counirymen
whilo 1 read those letters FROM this
desk. " For the moment triumph turned
to dismay, dismay to triumph. The au-
dience was electrified. The letters SEEM
ed to show Mr.. Blaine, in one case at
least, high minded and generous in as
Stunning the losses Of innocent persons
who invested on his request. Prom
1.-THE Plumed Knight and His Joust, "
by President L. Benjamin Andrews. in
Scribner's.