Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-06-15
JUST FOR FUN.

Scientists say that handshaking con-
Ieys disease, OF course, that's the
Ray the grip got started.
"No, sir, don't believe in mixing
olitics and religion" (which is it
on are afraid the mixing would spoil
your politics or your religion.
Your daughter has had a great many
dmirers. Oh, yes; she puts nearly
II the window curtains on the rods
nth all her old engagement rings.
Examiner What do you know of
be life of Frederick the Great? Tell
be as briefly as possible. Student
orn, educated, loved, married, died.
Nature believes in the preservation
L the unities. When she endows a
Ian with an overplus of cheek, she
Ives him plenty of chin to go with it.
ayes, sir; that mans incidence has
etually made him rich" GLOW SOP"
We'll his father left him a little prop
Fty and he was too lazy to spend the
hcome.o
A teacher was explaining to a little
ri how the trees developed their TO-
hge in the springtime. All, yes, said
be little one, they keep their summer
|othes in their trunks.
Merchant-Whati- Back again SO
BON? 1 never knew you to do an err
ind so quickly as that before. Mes
Fnger Boy-No, I guess you didn't.
hung on behind a hearse.
"Bridget, you've broken as much
bina this month as your wages
mount to. How can we prevent
his occurring again? Oh don't know,
[um, unless yez raises me wages.
She lin affright)-Oh, Tom, why do
Pu make such awful faces at me? He
Fontritely)-I can't help it, dear.
~ eyeglasses are falling off, and I
Pn't want to let go of your hands.
Rich Fiancee oh, this bouquet is
20 COSTLY You must take it back to
Re lieutenant Valet-Oh, that's all
ght, miss. Since my master is en-
kged to you he has been able to get
lings on credit.
You have some very valuable prop
Fty, / believe? said the tall man
.Erelessly. The little nan looked at
IN sharply. That depends, he said.
on what? On whether you
ant to buy it or sse it.
After the Bridge Disaster-Omcer
is he pulls Colonel Bloodgood of
|entucky from the water)-Are you
|riously injured, Colonel? Colonel
Foodgood-Not a particle, sub. I
|dn't swallow a mouthful of it.
Teacher-If you had a suit Of clothes
I'D somebody should give you anoth-
!, how many would you have? Tom
y-One. Teacher-How do you
AXE that out? Tommy-My little
would have the old ones.
|Susy-Say, Auntie, dear, you're an
ID maid, aren't you? Aunt Emma
misunderstanding, Susy, but it
not nice for you to ask such a ques-
pm. Susy-Now, don't be vexed,
mite, I know it isn't your fault.
That last load of coal you sent, said
r. Slopay, with a most impressive
amer, was more than half slate.
brhaps you remember, retorted the
70 coal man, with much spirit that
ou said, after you had ordered it,
st slate this, will you?
Westerner-As a New Yorker, you
of course, fond Of New York.
rent you? New Yorker-Certainly.
you can afford to live in the coun-
y during the summer, and to go
,road or down south in the winter.
ew York is a pleasant place to live
Willie, said the boarding house mis-
ess to her young son. Twas asham-
| of you at dinner. You kept your
on the table during the entire
cal! Yes, mamma, was the hope
rs reply: I didn't want to give the
,arders a chance to say there was
on the table.
Do you expect to go to heaven,
lille? asked the teacher, who had
st had occasion to correct the bad
~ of the class. Do you? he inquir-
| by way of reply. Why,yes, 1 hope
!, she answered. Well, he said, after
moment of thought, then I guess
ou may count me out of it.
ns6 Won E-on