New-York tribune., 1896-12-06
a "BALM BUREAU >"
SOOTHING AND SYMPATHY DISPENSED
BY THE COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT.
A CURIOUS AND USEFUL ARRANGEMENT IL THE
BIG sToREs-HELPING OFT FORGET
FUL MrsRANp-TAcTFI.l. TNEAT-
a CURIOUS AND L
MENT OF GRUMnLEEs.

There was in one of Gilbert and Sullivans
earlier operas whose life was rendered ut:erly
miserable because hc had nothing whatever 10
grumble at" Il any one ever had q more Just and
reasonable cause for grievance than this. consider
Ing tho way in which the majority Of human beings
are constituted the present writer would like TO
be told what that grievance is. Something TO
grumble about; place especially designed for
grurnbling: and hapess victim. put there solely
for the purpose Of bcirg grumbed TO; what grum-
bier. Of even the hardened type. could ask
for more ideal conditions? And such attractive
rangements not merely idle fancies: they act
ually exist Responsible for them the man
ayers OF the department stores. whose rank
students OF human nature should. accordingly. be
placed very high. That their efforts please In
this direction are appreciated Is fully proved by
the fact that the complaint department. Il rule
does land-ofice business
II would not be fair to consider the number OF
complaints which find their way to this place
reflection In any way upon the stores methods. be-
cause In many the cause Of the trouble
can be laid at the customers own door This
point. however. can seldom be insisted upon by
those In charge OF the office. for fear OF driving
away profitable patrons The grumhlers he
smoothed down. not argued with: and i'm order 10
accomplish this IT is frequently necessary agree
with them that they right and throw the
blame upon the store whether IL belongs there
not The barometer in the complaint Office al
ways indicates threatening weather and the atmos-
pherc is only partly cleared by short but violent
little storms OF rather frequent occurrence To
withstand these tiny tempests successfully and
come out of each one smiling and ready for the
next requires amount OF tact and patience Of
which comparatively few people capable. The
managers realize this. and when the right person
for the place has once been found ne or she has
a place which is more likely to he permanent than
perhaps any other In the establishment.
WHOSE FAULT?
The two common grievances with which
visitors TO the Office burdoncd are first the
fact that the goods which they ordered have not
all. and second that wrong articles have
been sent in place OF the things they bought. The
former trouble is likely 10 be met with after there
have been large special sales and at the holi-
day season. when the rush Of extra trade is i'm
mense. The Christmas buying il already in fun
swing and Is bringing I'm iis train the usual in
crease Of work for the complaint" clerks. Some
times. Of It is the fault careless sales
man or Of particularly stupid delivery wagon
driver thrt purchases are not received within "A
reasonable length OF time. Bu, fully as often the
customer proves 10 have remarkable notions re-
garding the speed and frequency with which the
deliveries are made. II H. uncommon for n
woman who has bought some article between so
and o'clock I'm the afternoon. Just before the
store closed for the day. and long after the last
delivery wagon had lefi It's rounds. TO come
enter n vigorous protest because she did not
ceivc the goods on the preceding evening
In connection with the non-dolivery OF pur-
chases. case quite Of the common occurred
recently in ono Of tho large stores one afternoon
who evidently laboring under great
embarrassment approached the desk and. with a
doubtful glance at the sign complaint Office"
which hung above the clerks head. began:
Il wanted 10 about sofa pillow that
was 10 have come TO house from here yesrer-
day"
Yes" replied the clerk sympathetically. "nnd
you didn't get it, I'll about Il nj once Let's
see; when IT that you bough, IT,
"f-that's Il. ddn', buy H. you know. 1T
Didn't buy IT, repeated tho cork family be-
ginning 10 think he was dealing with n crazy Gus
toner. and looking about somewhat nervously FOR
assistance.
NO" continued the man. summon!ng up n little
more confidence as he saw the necessity for "A fun
explanation of the matter. you see. this f. the
way 1t When / went ont yesterday morning
my wife told me 10 come here and order that
pillow which she had seen her" the day before
well forgot H. OF course but when she was
wondering why II didn't como last night had
TO explain TO her how careless they were In large
stores about getting packages on time. and
don't think she suspected anything SO now. II
you'n jus, fix up some written excuse 10 80 with
II. explaining why You couldn't send IN" con
founded thing on time IN 20 down to The counter
and buy the pillow"
And tho clerk. acting the part Of n man and a
brother. came nobly to the rescue with com
pcfely satisfactory statement. which. when read
at home the means Of preserving domestic
peace
RIDICULOUS SvBsTITTTIONS
The second Of the chief classes Of plants.
that OF having received the wrong articles. gives
rise 20 many amusing complications II might be
supposed that such mistake would Doe confined 20
minor differences such ~ having garment OF
the wrong ste quality replace th" on" ordered.
or having one pair Of gloves come Instead OF an
other: and that Tho customer would at least sct
something from thc department where sn" made
the purchase Hui this Is not necessary conse-
auencc at AL Il thc checks b'cOmc mixed in the
delivery ther" H. no telling what startling
surprises may he In stor" for the various house
holds. Especially IN the stores which embrace an
Immense number OF "utirci. unlike departments
is there an opportunity for odd suhstituii0ns. In
ono establishment woman succeeded IN CON
vi,lsing the entire compliant Office tho other
dav hv mournfuy Announcing AZ IN" desk mat sh"
had bought a silk petticoat the morning before.