Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-06-25


IL have drop on you"
-Pittsburg Dispatch. ~ es ~
Beliefs 1t hard to love man? julia
Don't worry about that 1t ID easy
enough to marry one.-New York Her
aid.
She-They must have quarreled yes
terday. He-What makes you think
80? She-He's SO attentive now.-Chi-
cago Record o,o. 's,fs 80
Friend-Do you always walt for In
SEPARATION before you write a poeml
Authorize. always need $1O.--
Somerville Journal.
"Johnnyr said the nervous mother,
IT want you to dry up right this min
uter' II can't walled Johnny. "Bin
Just soaked me."-Indianapolis Journal.
Funny thing about this telephone"
whats that?" IF you swear into It
they cut you off, and IL you don't swear
they never hear you."-Chicago Record.
when err man declahs he doan' re-
greet nufYin' he ebber DONE" said Uncle
Eben, hes either got err mighty good
conscience, err none at all. Nv ashing-
ton Star. &plsessss5tl
He (earnestly)-Amls = tho FIRST man
you ever kissed? She-Of c0urse you
are. How stupid men are! n never
knew one who didn't ask that.-New
York Herald.
The deaf man now no longer needs
To walk the railroad ties;
The scorcher finds him on the street
And watts him to the skies.
indianapolis Journal. 80"
Stylus-I understand Versifer has be-
come quite a poet. Buckram-Some-
thing like that No one can under
stand the stuff he writes.-Philadelph
North American.
WATERPROOF Dibbles They say he
got pair of beautiful black eyes lately.
feel sorry for him. Tom-You needn't.
He got a very handsome girl with them.
London Answers.
Olive-Td rather spend the winter
here than the summer Violet don't
see how you can say such thing.
Olive-Why, then we could at least
have a snow man.-Judge.
The catcher (roughly)-What do you
know about base ball, anyhow?-The
umpire docking at the bowling rooters)
Nothing; I'm the umpire, you know
Philadelphia North American.
Aunt-Why did you stare at that
gentleman so rudely, Ethel? Little
Ethel-Oh, he's drefful man; he never
goes to church or nothing. l heard
father say he was an acrostic.-Judy.
After they had departed she wept
bitterly. Suddenly she ceased. 1t had
occurred to her that perhaps her tears
might fall on her new shirt waist and
spot it irrevocably.-Cin En-
quirer.
Johnny-You're the meanest, hateful
est, spitefulest thing know. Tommy
An you're the crabbedest, ugliest--
Father-Boys. boys! You forget that
your mother is In the room.-New
York Press.
Calmly-During the hot weather l
managed to keep cool simply by the
exercise of my will. Fussey-Oh, I've
tried that. 1t makes me all fired hot
trying to exert my will.-Philadelphia
North American.
II am very much afraid that Jimmy
is In mischief" said Mrs. Snaggs to her
husband. Il can't hear him." replied
Mr.. Snaggs. That's why 1 think he
must be doing something he ought not"
-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Howland-I understand Scorcher and
his wife have quarreled and separated.
Davis-Yes; he preoipitated affairs by
telling her she couldn't ride wheel
half as well as, his mother did.-Phila-
delphia North American
His Merited Punishment.--'T cured
Giddington of talking to me about his
smart little boy" How did you do
it?" 81 told him all about the eleven
summers experience I have had with
hay fever."-Chicago Record. "a
what do you think Of the bicycle
craze?" Great thing! I never took
so much good exercise before in all my
life.v ''Why, l didn't know that you
were riding" 81 am not, but have to-
cross the street once In q while. Chi
cago Record. 1880.
Sweet one, love you," he whispered
to his partner at the masquerade. II
should think you would" she replied,
seeing that Lam your wife. z - Didn't
/ know it, darling? What other woman
do you think l. weuld gay that to?~-
Boston Courier. "a
"Of course I'm friend of the work
ingman," said the aspiring politician.
Then why don't you work occasion
ally?" asked one Of his auditors. "Oh,
that's simple enough. don't wish to
crowd some more deserving man out Of
a job,'-Philadelphia North American.
dillie-It looks as though the bicycle
would drive the horse out of existence.
Leavitt-Not bit of 1t. The more BIZ
cycles there are the more they will need
horses. Millie-What for? Leavitt-
Ambulances.-New York Herald.
"You must take care Of YOURSELF
was the physicians warming Don't
worry about anything, and don't over
exert yourself" 81 suppose you mean
that must take a vacation trip?"
"No, what mean is that you must re-
main away from the summer resorts"
Washington Star.