Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-06-04
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.

VA OO1l1 O4N liz IL
The bibliophile's passion for rare books
has always been a fruitful theme for the
humorist, but the engrossing charms OF
set forth than in the following anecdote
noted book-hunters in England:
One Friday afternoon, while Mr.
Brand was roaming in the neighborhood
of his church in the East End of Lon
don. his eye fell on the shop OF Jew
bookseller which he had not before no.
tlced. and he was astonished to see there
a number of black-letter volumes .eX-
posed for sale. But the sun was rapidly
going down. and the Jew, loath to be
stoned by mis- neighbors for breaking the
Sabbath, was hastily interposing the
shutters between the eyes of the clergy
man and the coveted books.
Let me look at them inside, said MI
Brand. u will not keep you long,.
Impossible replied the Jew. SAB,
absolutely cannot be drawn into such a
breach of the divine law. But ii you
choose to come early on Sunday morn,
ing, | will reserve them for you. and
you may see them at your leisure.
The reverend gentleman accordingly
turned up at o'clock on Sunday morn
ing. intending to remain until church
time, as he had to do duty that day.
The literary treasures were more num-
erousFlhan he expected, and he exam
ined the rare productions of celebrated
presses and purchased SO freely that
his treasures soon began to assume con-
siderable proportions. He was inter
rupted, howe- YSby the Jewess calling
out to her hui Dinner is ready
Dinner q SR.. md the parson, with
Start oc1d eo repl dc you dine:
true. He FASTENED to his church The
congregation had dispen sed,, much con
cerned at the absence their worthy
pastor, who. according 70, his biogra,,
pher. atoned in the even! by unwonted
eloquence for his unpre1SSo dtated prank
of the morning. Youths |mpanion.
"Have you written vo radiation es-
say" a .Wsla Maqd 1sP! g, 1 MAJ
dreadful. First HAD to hunt up words
that were big enough and then l had to
what they meant; and, honestly, began
to think l never would get it finished. -
Washington Star.
millinery departmM in their store oreS re- =
ceived the following mail order for a
bonnet ffom a patron who wrote that
she lived where millinery is not of a
high order" She Wherefore sent the
following:
DIRECKTIONs FOR BONNET.
Manure of head from ear to ear over top
of the head II inches; FROM ear to ear I'M
der my chin 9A inches: from forehead to
h.l. hnp jnHh eN In co
bonnet with streamers and rozetts of red
or yallow satting ribbon an woald like a
bunch of pink rozes or blue Noon be-
hind with a black jet bucket, if ar*ifshels
is still all the go l want bunch of grapes
or birds tale somewhares | do net de-
zire anything too fansy but if you think a
reath of pansies would look good Aou
ribbon here at home so you need not nut
on strings.-Detroit Free Press.
-)o-
Prospective Guest-"I never saw Sc
much drunkenness before at SUMMER
resort; and the season hasn't even opened
yet. has it!' /
Hotel Proprietor-"Why. no: an
what's more, it can't open till somebody Ns
shark, er whale, er sunthin'. What
dye s'pose I'm furnishin' free liquor to
them clam-diggers fer-fun?"
Told in Cbicago.-"You just ought to
see the hogs we raise out in Iowa." $50
big you have to kill half of one at q
time?' We'll no: but let me tell you
some peculiar things about those hogs
"All right. So large, | suppose, that
you can find them on the maps in the
Biographies ''Well. l don't know as
hogs to start north where the meridians
come closer together. and in ten hours
get wedged in so tightly between Il
couple of those lines that it took week
to dig it loose. "-Truth
Bobby-"Paw, what is burst of con-
tidence:'
Mr.. Wallace-''Going broke on tip,
guess. "-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Before Whitelaw Reid became minis
ter to France he devoted a good deal
of his time to the conduct of his paper.
the Tribune. The copy editor who put
I'm the headlines Histories of the day fell
into the habit of making most of them
interrogative. as. for instance, WAS it
Murder or Suicide?" or did She Kill
Him for Love?" or "Will the President
Sign It?' etc.
The whole paper WAS speckled with in
terrogative points. The thing had been
SolllS I'I NNN AZ: o>NoA"Ah. =" .A> ~H1N
curry. till one day a postal arrived, adj
dressed to Mr. Reid and marked per-
sonal. 1t read as follows:
Pm getting awful tired of your ques-
tions. Why don't you find out some
thing? 4 great newspaper is supposed to
know everything. and ought not to an
hoy its readers with needless inquiries.
This morning you ask Will Mr.. Plat
Consent:' How the hi do | know p
That night an order came that the
Tribune must ask fewer questions.
Here is pathetic story OF Paderew-
ski. told in the Gold Penny: You must
no a happy man. said one to him, to
which he replied: You. perhaps, are
ago and that my only child is an in
curable cripple. He is all have in the
world. and my wealth and fame can do
absolutely nothing for him. My only
motive in studying for the career of /,
public artist was that | should at least
he able to obtain the best medical adj
vice possible for my poor 10Y. Alas.
| have found it an idle dream! And
when the public. which is always so
kind to me. applauds me, | think of the
little fellow lying on his couch in the
house by the sea which | have taken
T l. Il