Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-10-22
The Two-Hcadcd I;~crsoII.

Colonel Robert G. IaGersoll has
frequently told us tha, lac is an ag-
nOstic, which is another way Of say
ing that no does not really know
anything. Now he wishes to pur-
suade us that he knows it all. For
years he has tried to make suffering
humanity believe that there was no
such place rs Jerusalem the Golden.
Now he turns his eyes toward the
gold vaults of Wall Street and saws
they are the earthly paradise. The
truth is that Colonel lngersoll, hav-
ing labOred for years to rob humanity
Of its hope of eternal happiness
hereafter, is now trying to blight its
prospects OF prosperity in this life.
He made his record in the latter
matter when he delivered IN Chicago
on Thursday night a diatribe against
the free coinage Of silver and paen
Of praise for gold. He expressed
himself as Mortified at the thought
that any man should be so villain
Gus as MIR. Bryan and stand before
the county on free silver platform.
Here is specimen OF his logic:
Now, it takes thirty-oue ounces
Of silver to be worth an ounce of
gold. But they propose by law to
make sixteen ounces of silver the
value of an ounce Of gold. If they
can do that by law, what i the use
Of wasting all that silver? If they
can by law make IT lG to |, why not
put on another clause and make il |
to /? And if they by fiat can add
! is cents worth of law to 80 cents
worth of silver and make a dollar,
why not make all fiat and use the
silver for forks and spoOns?"
Col onel 1ngerSoll'S agnOsticism
sometimes inspires him to say origi-
nal things. His sudden advocacy of
the gold cure for all human ills in
duced him to utter sentiments quite
as false AS his others and by no means
so striking. But the rampant repu-
diator of heaven ought to remember
that he has spoken about free silver
before. The gallant Colonel is try
ing to trump his own ace. Has he
forgotten or does he simply not
know his own mind? For he bellies
his own previous utterances. Here
is an extract from his lecture on
"Farming," as published in pam
phlet form by G.. S. Baldwin;
For my part, | do not ask any
Interference on the part of the Gov
eminent, except to undo the wrong
it has done. l do not ask that
money be made out OF nothing. /
do not ask for the prosperity born
OF paper. But i do ask for the re-
monetization of silver. Silver was
demonetized by fraud. 1t was an
imposition upon every solvent man
fraud upon every honest debtor in
the United States. 1t assassinated
labor. 1t was done in the interest
Of avarice and greed, and should be
undone by honest men. The farm
ers should vote for only such men as
are able and willing to guard and adj
vance the interests of labor"
Will the admirable abolitionist OF
eternal joy be good enough now to
tell us what made him climb over
the fence with so much celebrity and
jump down on the other side So
hard? We appeal from Robert gold
to Robert silver. There are no mu.
seums in this country for the two
headed orators or the Colonel might
com mand an enormous salary. Or
is it possible that the eloquent spe-
cial pleader for soup as a substitute
for salvation has looked upon the
gold when it was yellow in the bank
and became intoxicated with dreams
of what may be his when MIR. Han
mas campaign fund is placed where
it will do the most good ?--Ner
| York Journal.