The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1896-12-28
here AND THERE.

An amusing Incident took place in
one OF the prominent saloons last
Saturday. A man who was carrying
one Of the most successful Jays OF the
season was leaning against the bar In
dreamy contemplation. lie had nTriv-
ed ut that stage Of Incbricty when
man will blow out the clock md wind
up thc lamp. All OF a sudden he be-
cImc confidential 10 n customer who
had JUS. nominated hi9 poison.
"Mush get shober for Chrismus' he
muttcrCd. turning an appealing look
ON the man ne wanted to conhdc In.
My dcludcd, hut very dubious
friend, don't you know that Christmas
has passed. or IRE you referring to
next Christmas"
mo. shIr, thish Christmas -tmorrer,
thash wat have reference to-
"Ah, my friend. ycu are sadly mud
died. Don't you know that tomorrow
never comes. and that all our yester-
days have lighted fools the way TO
dusty death II you will permit me 90
vi NV bll my OIu lIltUt Shakespeare
for that last reflection"
''Whash that? Dusty de'thi Whash
matter with street sprinkler. Whash
use havin' dusty de'th when thas run
min? All riEh' bout lISh'd fools. Bet
70 l got llch' yet-regler torshligh'
perceSshun. never so out, either. Can't
fool me Mush shobar up FER ChrlSmuS'
tho. SlonG, old boy"
And he went ont 10 "shOber up
\ good story is told on Il newspaper
man that has n sort OF connection with
the above incident. Il was some years
ugo-it IS not necessary 10 dig out the
exact date when It WAS the old fash
loned custom for the morning papers Of
this city to suspend publication on the
day following holidays. That has been
great while ago. This young man had
been enjoying the holiday and became
sort OF mixed up: in fact, had lived
last enough for two days, and his think
tank had become sadly deranEed. To-
wards evening the thought occurred 10
him that he ''mush shObcr up for
work lie sat down at his desk and
delved into work rs best he Could.men-
tally wondering how he was ever EO-
+ ing to get through the niEht. One OF the
editors looked ut him rather Queerly.
wondering. 40 doubt. ut the streak Of
extraordinary Industry displayed.
Presently the editor turned out HIS
light and bid The befuddled worker
good night. II was early for him TO
leave. and the occurrence set the
young man TO thinking many hard
think. About half an hour afterwards
voIC. from the business office wound
its way up the stairway with muflicd
tread and Srnote on the ear OF the busy
bee in the following tones: Come on;
we are all going home and want 10 Lock
up the Office
Thunder from 4 clear sky was moth
Ing near such phenomenon. as the
change that stole over that young man.
At last he was able to locate himself
with reference to the calendar. He put
on his coat aud passing through the
grInniES office force he meckly held up
both bands. cXclaIminI: Guilty. gen
tlcmen," and then passed out into the
night.
"BilIy" Stops the popular Market
street caterer, received gold brick on
Christmas by express. II seems that
number OK his friends, members OF the
Eikirs Cadets and Tariff Champions,
procured paving brick and had It
neatly covered with gold leaf. They
made II NJ iu the form an express
package, with Canton, Ohio, tag nt-
tacheL. and which they got one OF the
express companies to deliver. "Biliy"
pnid the charges Ike little man, Won
Ierlng what could be coming 10 him
from Canton, outside OF an invitation
TO be a member OF McKinley's cabinet
Al unsuspectlng he opened the pack
age with fevcrlsh haste. What he found
made him open his eyes, but the
Dig laugh that went up from those who
had been looking on caused him to
tumble 10 The Joke. And. as there Is