Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1896-01-30

lam are relations. are they nOt!' asked
Bloomfield. Yes, strained relations"
replied misunderstanding Chronicle
Telegraph.
THE FOE WILL FLEE IN FEAR.
OF war we neer will see a trace,
Cnheard will be it's rumors,
When the new woman takes her place
To fight the foe in boomers
Detroit Free Press.
| \ G34-carat diamond. the finest ever
| found in Africa. was discovered at ia
| gersfontein, in the Transvaal. on the day
after Christmas. When cut it is expect
ed that it will be worth ST 100000.
How do you pronounce the last syla
| bic of that word butterineY " asked the
customer
THE last syllable is SILENT" stifiy re-
piled the grocers clerk.--Chicago Trib
une.
| Mrs. Parkwest-"Did the fishman call
today, Norah?''
Norah Newcook- 'Yism"
Mrs. Parkwest-"Had he frogs legs?"
Norah Newcook- "Sure, how could Oh
tell, MN? He had on pants an a long
ulster
Mrs. Nouveau-"When we were in
Rome We
Miss Nouveau-'But mother, we were
not in Rome
Mrs. Nouveau-"Why, darling child
we were in Rome. Don't you remember,
| Jnat is Wnere we bought SILK STOCKINGS
so cheap."-Harlem Life.
on the foor?'' "NNell, heard every
body say it was a bouncing baby, and l
wanted to see it bounce. Truth.
Mrs. Mann-'It is so provoking! That
girl | discharged last week is going about
telling everybody what splendid wom-
| an ] am"
Mr.. Mann-"And you find fault with
her for that?
Mrs. Mann-"Of course l do. Don't
you see that the artful thing is trying to
make people believe that she left of her
own accord "'-Boston Transcript.
TOO LITERAL.
I'D love to, hold your hand!' he cried;
| And now he's in a huff
| Because the cruel maid replied
| mo Wonder-you're muH!'
r. E. Graham is John f. Sullivan's
successor as Miss Brown in ''The
Strange Adventures" of that monde
script. In his school girl masquerading
dress he asks the other girls:
Which is right Girls is or Girls
are -
Girls are" of course, is the answer
in chorus.
''Well, then, girls, are my hat on
straight?''
An Atchison woman says she hopes
there will be a war, and that her hus-
band will enlist She believes that a
winter of breakfasts of coffee dregs and
bareback, partaken Of by a smoky fire
in the SNOW. would make him appreciate
the coffee and hot pancakes he gets i'll
his coy dining room at home.-Atchison
Globe.
A STRANGE FACT.
| A girl can ride a wheel all day
| And still be SWeetly CHEEKY,
! But she cannot sew button on
| Because it makes her weary.
| Washington Star.
| There is no great achievement that is
not the result Of patient working and
waiting.-J. G. Holland.
| ''Why does Larkin wear such large
checks in his clothes?''
Because he hasn't any in the bank. -
! Detroit Free Press.
NOT so BAD
The other day luncheoned
| With Dloomered Miss Mecan
| And then by Jove, she paid the bill,
New York World
Stranger Ito young man)-'You are
friend" Young Man-''No, sir: I toyed
with too much Jersey lightning last
night Stranger-"Ah! And how does
this lightning. as you call it. make you
feel?'' Young Man-"It makes me feel
like thunder. Harlem Life.
A fall.-Wanderer- lady; a
few years ago | was Just rollln' IN
wealth" Kind-hearted Housekeeper-
Poor man! Here is a quarter. Rum
Religion" Kind-hearted Housekeeper-
"Religion?" Wanderer-"Yes'm I was
one of the most successful burglars in
the country; but l got religion and
couldn't work az me trade no more.
! Thanks" Puck.