Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-07-12
AetosnoN- slAirrD TNoOseW

tails Mr. Burns meant well when ne
v.nue5 these lines. and IS even said 10
have expressed regrets that he couldn't
r.lduce them IN the negro dialect. but
"far n that he's wrong Clothes do
make he man with a special accent on
the word "DO) and, had the writer ap-
reared on Cary street i'm blue-Jeans
tseeches and a flannel shirt he'd have
pretty soon discovered his mistake. And
am not the only one who begs leave
60 amend his sentiments for his poem
las called down the scorn and wrath Of
the gents clothing houses and In
voked the maledictions of people who sell
collars and cuns. The man who attempts
20 cvt monkey shines I'm our neighbOr-
holl mad better como prepared with the
best he's got ia the way OF rags. or he's
going 10 think he's touring the Esqui-
frauX country. Wen be 50 cold 10 him
Ny ufterances are the offspring OF ex-
perlenco. which I'm constantly buying
az % per cent premium. When. In my
unsophisticited rIrality, 7 first took up
10y abode in this wicked. gilded city, I
BROUGHT with me che horny-handed sim
pWcity Of H7uover-cOunty etiquette, and
that etiquette. be 81 said. eschewed frills
srl rufes, and banked on homespun and
fme~foaus IL didn't take me long 10
md out that Cary street wasn't the place
for me 20 do the Ward McAliister act /
remarked 20 my beloved performer on the
Domestic sewing-machine that the noses
o. an our ncighbors seemed turned up
cvhat wo have since learned 10 call ''re-
trousso'O. and she with a woman's acute
ress forthwith guessed the cause. IT'S
tlem pants Of vour'n." she said, and then
she added. chem noses IS turning up
~ YOU" It's had policy 70 ever let -
woman know she's right IN anything, but
e. this instance ! had TO ten her that
for once ln her NE I suspected she was
correct After that ! underwent a
chr ACKNOWLEDGEMENT q change of iinen as
g. vcre-and soon I was clothed in the
radiance OF a June-bug. without the
rreenncss % this energetic insect. Daily
7 went forth en- an the lusfrous white
ress ~ my paper collars and with my
boots nicely creased. ny head soaked
ir haIr-on. emitted the fragrance OF a
drugstore and my teeth. scrubbed with
orris-root and powdered chalk. elistened
ir,e the keys OF a new upright piano. l
washed my hands two or three times
week. and resortel 10 other tricks which
hitherto I had regarded as efeminate.
Tho eroct-not the effect Of washing my
hands bot OF this general change IN my
erroarance-was almost instantaneous
The grocer ia our neighborL0oi appeared
ore cordial and gave the children a
frarkol apple The Youngsters In the
vicinity even condoscended 20 come into
our Yards and throw rocks az my rooster
The person who lived next door kindly
borrowed n cup Of vinegar over the back
fence a.1 n dor that was quite popular
On the block domeancf itself sufficiently
g. pursue our cat. symptoms Of ger erosi-
Is BEGAN so break our Ike chicken
ror. and several resi- ents on the square
rrqcrrrfmo. efv extended ne the courte-
fies Of The measles they had in their fami-
Vee. Our relations became more cor
dlal-that S. our country relations, who
wanted 40 come 20 town and board with
us-ara peace and goodwill rcigned every
where ON 4n sides We saw evidences OF
obedience wv that Scrlptural iniuno on
which saws. Love thy neighhor as thy
r." True every one DIDN'T obey In
the literal sense Of the word. but as
fgrc3'y they learned 20 love their neigh
hors' pies. NOT only as well rs their own
hrt BETTE f3r many were those who par
took OF our meals ami expressed their
errrn- 20 Con in tro most substantial way.
owe must pvt down the strained rela-
uos hitherto existing between us" they
fnI' and. suiting their actions 70 the
word they strained 20 put down as much
a. my pie as possible. And II was all
tre % ny good clothes. Now we stand
h'gh IN Tho neighhorhood. Our names are
ir Che CITY D.rec'ory'
AT this 'slk about "iackdaws etruttlng
20 p-acock's" feathers is due 20 the malice
and envy of neople who nave been forced
% pawn their garments ard who now lie
are. % avoid exposure while the scions
~ COnfucius daily with their only skirt.
Zine feathers make fine birds. and tho
b0b-tailed rooster had better adjourn sine
die. There isn't any place Tor him In
o.r backyard. Every crease In our
trousers means an increase In our popr-
lahty 7 would have mine fred Ike au
acoordion-n'ai'ed skirt n poAihle In
fact, tried this once but the platte took
up so much Of the pants that when I
tried them on ! thought 7 was wearing
o sash. The Rood impression created by
the wel-clotheS man affects both white
and cOl0re1 and commands respect
wherever the gen,lemcn's furnishings may
carry he man White folk respect the
wcarcr because they think he's got money
IN The clothes. and the c0lored respect
him because. fcrsooth. they hope to buy
err reshly venture where brogans dare
10 tread 4 six hat Is above a plug. and
the well-dressed shall reap cash. Go TO,
bobtie Burns-"the coats the thing 10
catch The king"
\. speaking about 'jacfaaws strutting in
n Acocks' feathers" recalls 10 my mind
- hospNable home OF Mr. w. Ia Flem-