The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1896-04-18


sense. Whilst it is true that Aunt
Nancy is only plain old female wom-
an, as she is wont to call herself-and
metimes it raley looks to me IKE |
she talks heap jest simply because
the good Lord give her somethln 10
talk with-yet still at the same time |
have took notice all along the line that
whensomever "your Aunt Nancy" opens
up her talkin machinery she most IN
generally always says somethin.
How She Missed the "Main est Chance"
"And what is so concernin me, Rufus,
is so in regards to the whole entire hui
man family more or less" Aunt Nancy
went on to say presently, and with that
she went down into her old dominecker
thanky bag and some forth with her
smokin materials.
For three days hand runnin now the
weather hit has been jest simply am
phibious for hog killin-clear as bell
and cold as flugins-and do you know,
Rufus, there amt marry blessed hog on
thu Newton place. John Andrew
(that's Aunt Nancy's brother, you un-
dcrstand) had the finest bunch of hogs
in the settlement last summer, which
at that time the weather was so scan
dlous hot he dassent kill any of 'em
then. And along in the fall the colery
got in amongst EN-, whereas the hog
KILN come off at the wrong time of
year in spite of all that we could do and
say.
"When I was young and fresh and
| fair as the common run of women, Ru-
| fus, missed the mainest chance of my
life to git married. Berry Hasseltine
was what you mought call old bache-
| lor, but he had come from powerful
| good stock of people, and he had the
| best farm in the settlement, with mules
and cows and hogs till you couldn't
rest, and plenty around him to go on.
And in them days it come to pass that
| Berry he was lovin me more harder
| than mule colt could kick with both
feet backwards down steep hill, and
| more better than a town hog loves
Stops.
"But in the main time, Rufus. there
was funeral in the family, which left
John Andrew an old widdower and me
the onlyest woman on the place. So
there was, with all the house kecpil
to do, and seven chillun TO wash and
spank, and four cows to milk, and the
chickens to feed and the garden to tend
and the socks to darn and the clothes
to mend and-well, jest couldn't see
no place where could turn loose anc
quit. Now you have took notice,
leckon, that when one of. these ole
widowers or bachelors turn out ant
pitch in to marry they arc more thar
probable to mean plain, straight bust
ness and a whole passle of it, and 20,
cant push EN- off with little lallagag
gin and flirtationments. So as | sal,
before Berry Hasseltine had took VI
notion to git married, you understand
and the mainest thing with Berry wa
to git married. 1 told him to try ant
wait till John Andrew could recove
and take unto himself another wife
But Berry lowed no, it was his time o
year to wait He loved me more dee
and fervent than any young woman
that ever run a reel or jumped jig IL
all the regions round, but if | couldn'
marry him without foolin and fiddh
around forever, he could mighty 500
find somebody that would | wan
the onlyest woman in the world an
he want the onlyest man in the world
SO consequentially we split the blanke
and quit right then and there.
THAT was another time, Rufus, whe
it rained milk and mush, but my dis
was turned bottom upards. In les
than three weeks Berry Hasseltine ha
took and married the Wilder Simpkin'
and ipstid of bein settled down some
where's in home of my own, raisi
pigs and chickens and chillen and tn
like of that, / am still perusin aroun
through this vain and f1eetin world a
plain Nancy Newton. with nothin
speak of but her thanky bag in on
hand, and her empty dish in the other.