The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1896-04-21

The Populist Executive Committee Gives
Zeke About Twenty Different Diseases
Several of Them May Prove Fatal.
B.-"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hellol Major. How arc you
feeling to day ?"
B.-"I amt feelin' at all. You Pops
hev takin' awl the feelin' out ov me.
I'm the sickest man in the United
States to day"
R.-"What in the world is the mat
ter now2
By refusin' ter fuse. That wuz
the only hope we dymakrats had left
in our p~aterotick breasts"
R. How Is that? Why some PEG,
pie thought you were losing a great
deal of sleep fearing that we would
cooperate with the Republicans. Elk
plain yourself"
Bit was this way, You see the
Pops are all the folks we fear here in
North Carolina. We dread 'em. If
they had gone ahead and fused with
the Republicans it would have given
us a fghtin' chance. We lowed ter
git powerfully in favor ov silver purity
soon, an the Pops bein' mixed up with
the goldbug Republicans, we would
make big gains and the Republicans
and Pops would have been just like one
party, and we would charge them awl
with bein' goldbugs, and they would
hev bin on the defensive awl the time.
Purity soon the Pops an Republicans
would hev got mixed up in SIGH a ( irty
way that nobody would hev had any
faith in either section, an then we
Demykrats lowed ter hav a picnick
But it is awl over. I've got purity nigh
every disease in the medikal books,
an l think several ov EN- will prove
fatal. Betsy il jist jlmpin' up an
down with joy. She says she sees the
way out now. Idon't an that il whut
hurts. Gittin' disappointed hurts aw-
fully bad. can't stand it. Send me
a cheap coffin st once. GUIDE bye"
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Good Books-Rev. D. Il. futile, Raj
eigh, N. @.
Peach Trees-R. S Johnson, Stock
ley, Del.
Direct Um-Bit- Racine Malleable
Iron Co., Racine, Wis.
One Hundred Fine Pjge Given Away
Willis Winery, Salem, Ohio.
Always mention The PROGRESSIVE
FARMER when writing advertisers.
THE BRIBERY OF DEADHEADISM.
A correspondent writes: 81 am
amazed to learn that Senator's and
Congressman at Washington are sup
piled with books O. free telegraph
blanks. No wonder they refuse TO pass
a genuine postal telegraph bill. How
can this kind of bribery be prevented
o. done away wlth?'
The remedies are many, and should
all be applied.
1st. The party platforms should
prescribe a pledge against the accept
ance of such free blanks.
2nd. The two houses of Congress,
respectively, should pass a resolution
against such acceptance and announce
that any member offending shall be ex-
PEELED.
3rd. A law should be passed-as we
have already said-making it a penal
offense to offer or receive a telegraph
frank, or to use the same, or to cause
the same or euch frank to be used in
ones behalf-this applying to a mtm
Der of either house of Congress. I5
should be made the duty of U. s. Dis
trict Attorneys TO prosecute the cff9n
ders.
You may say that it is ridiculous to
suppose that any one of these things
a be done. Try it. Let one man get
up in convention or Congress and pro
pose and urge such propositions 1T
will be referred to a committee and
buried" Will it? The introducer can
talk about it. The newspapers-the
honest ones glad to do so, the dishon-
est ones compelled to do so to some ex
tent-w will announce it. In this way
bring the matter to the people.
This telegraphing free is worth to
some Senators and Congress men thou,
sands of dollars each year. Think of
it.-San Francisco Star.
A breeder would have to have con
siderable confidence in his stock to give
oUo- Ct C0O 11-EL - ~, Il