The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1896-11-07
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Brann Gives Some Racy Ideas Upon
the Old Time Sub- 81.
.9 ieet. gEl
ARE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND Il

1T Is Impossible to Create Value BY
Law Is the Usual
Cry.
1 much fear that before this confounded
election is over Eli have a Whole wheel
factory in my head. As: sacred duty
owed to myself, Tread the arguments on all
sides Of every issue, for | hold vita Byron
that she who will not reason is bigot,
and he who dares not is slave" But III
rot be able to continue this labor OF love
much longer. The logic employed by the
McKinleyites is tying my brain up in q
double buw-knot. To save me, cannot
ense onto It's combination, for lts pred1-
cafes look one,Way, its conclusions anotneT,
while it's syllogisms fail to syl1ogize; us
argumentum ad ingorantian seems to be
sadly overworked, and its judicii1m. suffer
ing from the jim jams. Perhaps it's all too
deep for mere lad Of six-and thirty who
had the misfortune to be named Willie,
and may, for aught know, have w:llieis-
mus, or even something worse. / am evil
IDENTIFY too recent to fully comprehend the
deep workings Of McKinley's master mind
when It is dealing with money. ! may
grow to it-may catch some heeting glimpse
of what the McKinley.tes really mean by
the time am old enough to, be available
as the candidate of the gold-bug Demo
aarats." Just as think I've got their ESQ.,
teric science of money mastered it reaNs
up on It's subsequent legs and walks on
me. till It dis.ocates my liver. It is evaslve
and uncertain as cake of coap in a CHS
tern. I would give four bits for instan-
taneous photographs of it n its various a.
t:tudes. It is the Proteus Of politics. Just
as you have sized it UP it becomes some
thing else It is the only thing in existence
that can be on all sides of subject at one
and the same time, swallow itself and then
turn double somersault. don't SO much
mind the brain-fag necessary to keep tab
on It's saltations, but it's pernicious activity
makes my eyes ache. The Silver Trust
Circular" which the Mckinney organs are
all printing in screamer type under scare
heads, is.tne latest agony inflicted upon me-
All the gold-bug orators have copies of It
IN their inside pockets, pull it on every
occasion and cry Ha! ha! but dapino
where the laugh comes in. I am naturally.
a frolicksome fellow, and can outlaugn
Teufelsdrockh when there's any provoca-
ton; but somehow this circular looks more
like McK.nley's wake than his wedding, and
cannot cachinnate in the presence of a
corpse. It gives the lie point blank to the
charge Of sfepudiation. It knocks the
.s5o-cent dollar" theory higher than Glide
roy's kite. I presume that everybody mas
read the circular, fer the McKniey.tes have
sown it broadcast-why know not, unless
as an official certificate of their own m
sanity. It is an address by lne Thomas G..
Merrill to the silver-mine managers, and
sets forth that they should contribute to
the Bryan campaign fund, as free coinage
would greatly benefit 80 per cent OF the
American people and cause ''the immediate
return of silver to it's former price Of $1.29
per ounce" Do the McKinleyites deny that
free coinage would thus affect the market
value of silver? Not at all; they admit
it, and proceed to thunder against this
Infamous scheme of the mining baroDs to
add $35 100000 to the value Of their an
nual product at the expense of the entire
people," Yet in the se,f-same breath they
declare that "free coinage means 50-cent
dollar and tearfully protest against Ere
pudiation." In other words, they assert
that free coinage would send the selling
price of silver to 1928 per ounce--just as
Bryan and the mining barons predict
which means that, at ratio OF 16 to l, the
white would pGs,sess equal intrinsic value
with the yellow daliar and be as acceptable
N any part Of the world; and then, with
out so much as change Of countenance,
declare that free coinage means a debased
currency! This may all be true. Mark
Hanna and Mckinley, Edward Atkinson
and Bob IngersoI, Cleveland land his.
cuckoos and Quincy and his coons all say
so; but alack! I'm too young to UNDER
stand it! The "Boy Orator. can't make it
out The only "Little Willie" who has
mastered it is the editor of the st. Louis
Mirror. The auriferous economists assert
that sit is impossible to create value by
laws" and before this ipse dixitf can soak
INTO us, they point out that congress can,
by simple "be It enacted" add s35, 100000
per annum to the value of single Amer
ican product! That looks like flat COM
tradiction to we youngsters; but it requires
age and experience to deal with these
stunning paradoxes.s ] have no desire to
pose as an enfant terrible; Still opine that
grown people should not permit we kids
to perish In our ignorance. 1t Is barely
possible that the philosophers Of the Nc
Kinley school have discarded prosy logic
for poetic license. The Republicans pose
as .sthe real bimetallists, the true friends
of silver declare that all they want is
IAN honest dollar, one worth its face the
world over" Then why wait for that "in-
ternational agreement" which ever recedes
like the pot of rupees at the ra:nbow's base,
when, by simply opening our minis, we
can make 41271s grains of.co.n silver equal
to 25.8 grains Of coin gold anywhere, and
add $35 100000 per annum to the value Of
American products? / know that 1T is in1-5
pertinent for thoughtless kids to harrass a
New Napoleon with yexatious questions
when he wants to talk about the tariff;
but juvenile curiosity can't be easily over
come. We are told that this tremendous
profit Of the n1:ne-owners would come out
Of. the pockets Of the working people.
What profit, it the silver dollar will sink
at once to its bullion value? Bit for.
get; it will sink. and still It won't sink.
tt IS. to 90 up. and down and stand still
simultaneously. Silver is to double in sell
ing price without affecting the intrinsic
value of the dollar / seem to be catching
- . AnN