Evening star., 1896-10-31
ODD BREAKS OF SPEECH.
object Lessons in Careless Arranse
ment of Words

ment of Words.
From the Rams Horn.
A coroner's jury in Maine reported that:
Deceased came to his death by excessive
drinking. producing apoplexy in the minds
of the jury
An old French lawyer. writing of an es-
tate he had just bought. added: There is a
chapel upon 1t in which my wife and wish
to be buried, if God spares our lives''
On tombstone in Indiana is the follow
ing inscription: This monument was erect
ed to the memory of John Jinkins, acci-
dentally shot as a mark of affection by his
brother"
A Michigan editor received some verses
not long ago with the following note of ex-
planation: These lines were written fifty
years ago by one who has, for long time,
slept in his grave merely for pastirne"
A certain politician, lately condemnins
the government for its policy concerning
the income tax. is reported to have said:
They'll keep cutting the wool off the sheep
that lays the golden eggs until they pump
1t dry"
An orator at one of the university unions
bore off the palm where he declared that
the British lion. whether 1t is roaming the
deserts OF India or climbing the forests of
Canada, will not draw in its horns nor re-
tire into its Shel1.''
|. A reporter in describing the murder of a
man named Jorkin said: 1.-THE murderer
was evidently In quest of money, but luck
lily Mr. Jorkin had deposited all his funds
In the bank the day before, so that he lost
nothing but his life''
A merchant who died suddenly left in his
ents. which he had not sealed. His clerk
seeing 1t necessary to send the letter, wrote
at the bottom: "Since writing the above 1
have died"
n Okla homo ad;tor
for basket of oranges thus: I'VE have re-
ceived basket of oranges from our friend
Gus Bradley for which he will please ac-
eept S our compliments, some of which are
nearly six inches In diameter"
The Morning Post in 1912 made the fol-
lowing statement: I'VE congratulate our
selves most on having torn off Cobbett,s
mask ana revealed his cloven foot 1t was
high time that the hydra head of faction
knuckles' ~
An English lecturer on chemistry said.
one crop OF this poison placed on the
tongue OF cat is sufficient to kill the
strongest man." and an English lieutenant
said that the Royal Niger Company wished
10 Kill him to prevent his going up the
river until next year.
A clergyman in an English town warmed
MS hearers lately mot to walk in a slim
perry path, lest they be sucked, maelstrom-
IKE, into its meshes!' This metaphor sug-
gests that of another clergyman. who
prayed that the word might be as n nail
driven In sure place, sending it's roots
downward and its branches upward"
Inc present Duke of Leeds is reported tn
nave accused the late government of maxi
ing q direct attack on the brewers hv
means of a side wind. 1t was during The
late administration that one of the Irish
wnps telegraphed to Dublin that "the
silence of the Irish members would he
heard in the house of commons no Longer" ("
1t was the celebrated Sergeant Arahin
VINO, at the central criminal court informed
the prisoner before him that 'if there was
a clearer case Of a man robbing his master
that case was this case and, after pass
ing sentence, concluded: Il, therefore, give
you the opportunity of redeening a char
acter irretrievably lost"
In the Irish house Of commons of 1795
during debate the leather, tax the
chancellor of the eXchequer, Sir John Par
nell, observed that ''in the prosecution of
the peasant war every one ought to be ready
to give his last guinea to save the re-
mainder Of his fortune Mr.. Vandeleur
replied that a tax on leather would press
very heavily on the barefooted peasantry
of Ireland"
At recent temperance gathering an
orator exclaimed: 1.-The glorious work will
never be accomplished. until the good ship
Temperance shall sail from one end of the
land to the other, and with a cry of Vic
tory! at each step she takes shall plant
her banner in every city, town and village
Of the United States.''
Another speaker said that ''All along the
untrodden paths of the future We can see
the hidden footprints of an unseen hand"
I'VE pursue the shadow. the bubble bursts
and leaves the ashes in our hands,