Kansas City daily journal., 1896-06-03
MISERY IN 4 DRESS SUIT.
wrctrhrd Condition OF Gnwky
Young Man In Hired Garments.

From the indianapolis journal.
lie WAS gawky. sandy and lonr-ncckcd:
he was bow-ltggcd and timber jontcd: In
short. he was man whom nature never
Intended for dress parade. ana lac knew IL.
only ono person beside his wife ever said
he was handsome, and that was a spinStcr
who had had poems accepted by maga-
zines and her opinion was hardly worth
the atmosphere used In expressing II. And
Yet, when our ftlcnds lodge was 10 have IL
reception. banquet and ball his wife urged
gfoundlcss vanity he assonted. and rented
IA iull evening dress outilt.
Then his troubles began.
When he tried on the suit at the clothing
store me Goa, lapcls tared and wrlnkled
dating salesman pinned the lower corners
81 the coat front TO the bottom OF The vest.
The Inter garment had an unusually largo
opening in front. tho whole garment con-
tanning just enough goods to make "a watch
sIiSrl, il,!, :. ~
nhyth'nf but a happy man. hut the feeling
would Near on. he told himself 1t never
hom.wnrd he was prouIer than many men
VINO owned dress suits instead OF renting
The wife went to hnlrdresscr. leaving
n" husband TO the gloriss of his dress suit.
s,i{Sr.ic Artef T. violent snd mantui struggle ho
ne owned no patent feathers. and his calf
shan ,kaan, Shoes, win coat OF liquid dressing
inE' LOCKED 4s II they had hoeu dipped in
ink. This domestic finish added nothing
" me way OF comfort. Then came tho
Just as he had got this freshly iauntlcrct
Eaththt wei adjusted Il cold perspiratipn
pFokr ont all over the victims person as
he noted the narrowntss OF the bosom x
horrd possibility he dared not even men
I5,gS yai,S "NprS,,s dawnGa upon him, But 1t
collar AMI three -inr-u-qUuItur whl'r
now Wrt" tn" next ess.nt.Il-, uul tAuu
a. A" had "Epretr4i The shirt bosom WAS
Two inches too narrow Tor the y"st open
luE. ~" az last decided TO rIlI m" y"st
aown' narrow ~" Vent, ana p.H the button
to lh. trousers. Nt was nearly '.ur tp .,o.
a.! n" heroic measures were H"o"asnryl
l'ut this made u, W1i-thaul Of the trpils-
grs r"rr up over the top button of that re-
MISUNDERSTANDING v,tt. He shed tears ami
would fain have done Iik"wiSo vim In.
thg waisthaul.
That was better.
The coat once on anl duly PINNED nj tho
corners, h" called M tho hu.rlr,ssprs for
his wife" lie was brave beneath the shelter
When they arrived Mt the hall ani sera-
rated for the cloak rooms an the pins
cam" out OF his patched up Kissing, lie
uulluUdor,l muslin H. also made tho
cheering discovery thar in iystoouinE his
laulk, rch.yt over th,, ambitious wal thnni
H' hhi mad" great exhibition ut the only
dirty spot ON that cotton -guiTa.
Morr ics-waigr rcrsriratoH. and he sank
As he IIl 50 Hrs vest front spread. show
iimE Ihr"g inches Of shirt and "a snsp"nl"r
''' Ns' VI ''l'll Fl't' on illhN f' FIHlH ~Eltt
bosom, He pulled N" coat nrrl- together
ana wanted 10 40 home. Hut there sat
his VIE Win pretty hlu" rhiluG az mock
anu sleeves ~ her on" sunday dress her
hair nicely arranged, d huge bunch Of car
nations on her breast and peaceful smile
She looked ur, caught sight Of tho funny
Then h" was mad. II" fplt that tho vito
ana dress suit were consu.riug TO drive him
This dear reader. takes the man only 10
o'clock IN tho evening. j. was !. 80 be-
for" his VII" wanted 10 20 home The IN
t"ryrn.nr period is one nt agony too deep
TO be depicted with pen auI Ink. Tho next
fu!l dress aUal- h" attended hr wore 4
pair OF lirht trousers. sack coat. hlark tir,
tan shoes. sat with his knees crossed and
rnvi'd no man.
IL" had bean man ont Of his clement
lnlrr such circumstances all men are mis-
cradle.