The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1896-10-14
New Suits.
PHILOSOPHER DooLEY,s VIEWS.
He Takes No Stock in Straw Votes or
Poll Books.

chicago Post.
We'll, Jawnny,' said Mr.. Doofey, leaning
over the bar and beaming upon his friend.
"How's tn iliction goin', ! dinnaw?'
why" said McKenna, its a pipe for
.How's that?" demanded Mr.. Hennessy,
who had been doing in the corner and
eensorious remarks, 'How's that? Ye name
Bryan"
south, Utah, Weemoning. Nevada, Eedah-
w Hr1 ss South M1te an North 11,i Dakot M,t kansais, Ne Ne
Mayo" he added triumphantly.
enough Wen' TO sa il1cf Mb him Do aISg.er nna1 ia 9 a 30 De
Prisidint. What's tn use iv him r-runnin'
at all, at all? Why don't they say: Here
Bill, tbs no good wearin' out ye'er lungs.
Yen need THIN whin We go to Washington
to holler Stop thief Why in hivin's name
don't they make it unanimous?"
.They took a vote down in Donahue's pop
facthry las week" said Mr.. Hennessy,
AN it give eighteen thousan' six hundred
an tin FIR BRYAN an two FIR Mckinley.
WHO coerced thim?' asked Mr.. Dooley.
"Rothscheeld,' said Mr.. Hennessy prompt
But how dye account fr tn vote in Dor
CANS plumbers shop?" Mr.. Dooley de-
manded.
"Sixty-three thousan' eight hundred an
ilivin FIR Mckinley, sixty-eight Err Erastus
H. Scattering an wan FIR Bryan"
"coercedp said Mr.. Hspnessy. But VIA at
tn shop-Dorgan an tn helper"
What difference does that make" asked
statistics-theyre not burdened with
anything like facts. All a MAJ wants is a
nice room in TIL back iv a Chinese laun-
a monkey out iv tn la-ad that wrote tn
arithmetic. He sees majorities GRIMM
through tn transom an roostin, on tn top
wan man says Texas will go Republican.
and TIL on'y States Bryan has sure is Mis-
other claims BryanII carry New Hamp-
Shire an upper Canada an that Bill Nc
kinley won't get wan vote in Canton but
Bryan make wan speech. TIL Dimmy-
cratic comfy figures out that tn ELECTORAL
coliedge'l have 35S Dimmycratic votes sure
voted to nailin' tn others. Ty' Raypub-
liean comfy claims that Mcknight have
all but eight votes an that thqse,lI be given
see Palmer iIicted President. No. come to
be eight or nine hundred years iv age he's
only a burden to his family. I'd be too de-
eripit FIR to go to tn inauguration.
was talkin' about was tn political
Whin a man gets SO he sees
around AROUND tn fh'n room wb SIef he tells r peon leh be,s
sorry he liver sold Lincoln Park to tn city
because now he has nowhere to soind tn
CtS iIttl ia a itilAy lit
derives firm his stock in tn Alley L road,
Just befure a wagon. firm tn Ditintion
Hospital backs I'D at his dure an a polls
man comes in an grabs him, he's rife FIR
q job at headquarters summin' up tn ray
suits iv sthraw votes. Poll Nv Lyman J.
Gage was taken yistherdayh. 1t was con-
on tn Austhralyan system an it
was sthrictly private. 1t showed 1900. 900
FIR Mckinley an none FIR Bryan Thurs
dab Governor Altgeld took a secret ballot
" himself. 1t showed him alomst sodil fr
an Bryan Mr.. Grizzly Adams
establishment Saturdah. 1t VIII be raymim-
bered that tn employees iv his place was
coerced into wearin' Mckinley buttons an
had jined tn Long Dhraw Mckinley and
Hobart Club. Mr.. Adams found on'y three
men who would vote FIR tn frind Nv
thrusts. The other sIvinty-three millions
was FIR Bryan an Sewall.' Thin he woke
AN so it goes. A man come dashin' in
here yistherdah, an, says he. Dye know
Murphy Murphy, say |: Murphy? 1t
1oes he do?' I name the Murphy that