The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1896-12-02
ERRORS.


Errors in matters which either are
history, or one day will be such. are
grievously common. Men who ought
to know better make most remarkable
statements about things, and then
wonder at the derision they excite.
For instance, at one of the MONDAY
political meetings hectic gentleman
who seemed to be right in the conf
dence of great many great men, and
who told about them with rapid-fire
speech, took up the question of the
United States army, and declared that
it isn't anything like the army of Valley
Forge and Bunker Hill, but that it has
dwindled to a sort of select dancing
club in blue clothes. He suggested that
there are no campaigns any more. He
alluded TO certain occasions when he
charged that the army had set out to
conquer two dollars worth of coffee
cooling Indians and had spent $12 ,000,-
900 in doing it., the chief result being to
give several regiments outing vaca-
tons in good trout countries. The
speaker kept on at this rate and was
applauded right along. Intoxicated by
the success of his generalities, he COM
mitted the error of EXPERIMENTATION. He
declared that, "for instance, the recent
alleged outbreak in Jackson's Hole was
q war without bloodshed, in which no
man was injured or rendered uncom-
Portable"
This is a great error, as can readily
be proved by consulting with William
Crary. Mr.. Crary is young man who
lives in once-booming town, where he
sold real estate in an addition called
Halcyon Heights-a poetic place, with
brickyard in it and a great future and
big cornfeld before it. Mr.. Crazy is a
man vino is always out after experience,
and when the first intimation came
from Jackson's Hole that there was a
chance for an aspiring coroner up that
way, he decided to go out and look
ct the killing and get some souvenirs.
He arrived in Rexburg with a deter
mination to sell his life as dearly as pos
sible, and to get good assortment of
kodak pictures in furtherance of the
transaction.
At Rexburg appeared one Lewis, an
clector in the precinct, who represent
ed that the horse he offered for sale was
kind and gentle, and also rapid. Crary
had bought his fare in the stage, but
the opportunity to purchase horse
might not present itself later, so he
bundled his cargo upon the vehicle,
and, with the assurance that he would
tell Gen. Coppinger, who was some
where over near the foothills-that a
stageful of lieutenants was coming, he
started away gayly.
Now, the plain facts of it are that
Lewis was ferocious liar. The horse
was one of those big-boned, pan-foot-
ed beasts which, three minutes after be-
ing mounted, resolve themselves each
into onevastridge pole, and which shove
along at fonndering motion which
shakes a mans boots off unless he is
wary and experienced. These animals
churn, pound, bruise and stupefy the
rider in half the time required by the
elephant to accomplish a similar pur-
pose. Mr.. Crary lasted three miles, and
when the stage drew up he mournfully
declared that his spirited animal had
thrown him and he had sprained his
ankle. The beast had done nothing of
the kind, but Crazy knew his men.
Immediately there was wild conten-
ton among those four lieutenants,
who, detached from their commands.
were now en- route to join them. Every
one of them wanted to win glory by
conquering the maddened steed of the
Idaho desert. Naseby, of Angel island,
won, and the other three disgustedly
settled back to lie to one another about
the experiences in horsebreaking which
they had had since leaving the Point.
Naseby rushed on ahead, and in min
ute or two was out of sight. while Crazy,
in a semi-recumbent attitude in Nase-
by's seat, wondered what the army man
would do to get out of it. He found GU!
in Is minutes. At the next turn in the
trail they found Naseby lying in a
swoon beside the way, the vicious an
imal standing near. The proper re-
storatives brought the false Naseby out
of his fraudulent faint, and he re-
lated with great circumstance how the
Horse had bolted and had leaped an ir-
Yigation ditch 40 feet broad, had waltzed
all over the neighboring country, and
had finally stood straight up in the air
ON one hind leg, and, reaching around
xearward with the other, had kicked