The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-01-06


Robbed ~ Ills Rest
There"
AS the ioor-hel rang twice in success
sion, Won Blumer jumped up from his seat
with "A look of intense annoyance, and
turned around swiftly 10 face his wife.
Have you been shopping AGAIN. he
inquired anxiousiy.
mo. dear" said Mrs. Won Biumer. IL
haven't been out of the house today
Then" said Won Blumer. throwing
down his paper with a gesture OF impa-
tience, Its caller. No sooner does a
man come home from his work at the Of
flee, worn out with the days struggle, and
prepared to settle down to quiet even-
ing, than his peace Is disturbed by some
confounded bore. Society Is all very well
IN its way. but what do these people care
for us, or we for them? Here i was just
congratuating myself that l would be
able to get a good nights rest and now
the dream Ii over; I've got to sit up anu
exert myself to be pleasant to lot of
idiots that / wish were in Halifax. It's
Just my luck-tired out, all broken
Hello. what's this? A note! Cmph! Ah
yes, of course! Where are my shoes?
Brush off my hat, will you? Not "a moment
to lose. Show him into the parlor, Dinah
BE right out Where"
''Who is 1t, dear?" asked Mrs. Won
Blumer.
"WhO is it?" repeated her husband, as
he rushed by her into his room-'Who Is
IT. Hooray! It's Dimpleton. with two
tickets to the theater"'-Harper's Bazaar
lie Was There.
"Yes, ! was AT Chickamauga," said the
robust man, as he mopped an aginary
tear from the corner OF one eye, land we
had n hot time of 1t, too"
"Whom did you serve under?" eagerly
asked the young history student.
MY commander, ye mean? Grant, Of
But Grant wasn't In command at
Chick
who? Grant? Did | cay Grant? l
meant sherman, of course. Glorious old
Bill -
but Sherman didn't reach Chicsamau-
Who didnt?'
sherman"
"Who said anything about Sherman?
Did l say Sherman? O-o-o-h. You mean
at the time of Chickamauga. / belonged to
Sheridan's cavalry. Thought l said Sher-
dan"
But Sheridan commanded a division of
| infantry at the time"
Look here, youngster. you're getting too
| smart. You've studied your fool fake
books TIL you think you know more about
! the war ihan man who was in 1t. Why,
You young rascal, l was one of the first
men OUT"
And the smart Aleck youngster was
| ready to believe he was.-Cleveland Plain
| Dealer.
| -:o:-
| Not to Biamc.
| A little Cincinnati girl was at the sea-
| shore during the summer with her parents
and was very fond of putting on her ba tn
| Ing suit and going into the water along the
beach. She was cautioned about the dam
| ger of going near the water alone, and,
| though she was often dressed in her sui.
and allowed to play among the sand, she
! was forbidden to venture in the water.
| even to wade. One day she was playing
on the beach, and, forgetting the motherly
| Injunction, she waded out ankle deep in
the tapping waves. She met her mother =
reproof later with a disturbed cOunte-
nance, but had no excuse to offer.
| What made you wade into the water?'
asked the mother, when l had told you
| not to do sop
"Oh, the devil made me, mamma was
the reply.
| Yes" pursued her mother. but why
didn't you say to him, Get behind me,
| Satan?'"
Il did, mamma | did," and the teas
| began to gather In the little eyes: "and
mamma, he just got behind me and pushed
me right in. n."-Cincinnati Enquirer.