The sun., 1896-10-04
QUEER PENSION LIST NAMES.
Uncle sam's Curious Collection OF veterans
of Various Wars.
From the Philadelphia Times.


The Washington Governmental bureaus
have always possessed the happy faculty of
turning cut various orders OF freaks and queer
ideas. but the latest production in this line Is
a list OF bona fide pensioners applicants
whose names, il originality alone were con-
sidered, would leave that of the imaginary
King Geranimoseadolphushi of africa away In
the background.
The peculiar idea seems to have entered the
heads of three off ,ials Of the Pension Bureau
at about the same Il re. each unaware of the
Others intention, and for ten or twelve years
they made entries Of peculiarly odd names
that came before them officially. Whenever,
in looking over tbs rolls. a name of unusual
pronunciation or construction appeared. it
was Immediately jotted down on a pocket list
to he kept for personal pleasure. But the
other day the three became acquainted OF
their mutual curiosity for gathering names,
and q consolidated list was the result.
Some of the names appear ridiculous rs
to seem impossible for a human being to be
designated BY such conglomeration of letters.
but their authenticity is vouched for. as they
appear upon the very rolls of the United
States Pension Bureau. and pensions are paid,
freak inscriptions upon them. None of the
names names vas altered in any respect to give
would not be "P nossSie for any euene one 10 @ske
parallel list, as the collection represents many
years OF the pleasant task Of looking them nun, up.
persons not officials is prohibited by law. -
AS the oddity of the pnmes will be better H.
characteristic groups, the three officials took
pains 70 have this done. First upon the list
zones co .eana Yankee Ms
Then follows a few in thu. hardware line. sush
as Minerva Hatchett, John Hammer. and
r. Peter Beets. James Bean, Susan Gale. John
Garlick, Daniel Mustard are associated in the
Thomas Tongue. ". T +. LAMB. % b.yd Ghn Mutton, nsm,
". 7. Kidney. Samuel Heart, William Fish,
Samuel Crab, William Oyster and Jacob Her.
clearly with hyphcn. is Adam Buzzard and and
low, Thomas Lark, William Fowl, Hlram AZ 'iSSi. FoW
ler and Pleasant Green Swan. The Raines
@ yoTF sns to f%nr" the aG
lions against Sunday opening, but here is n
combina ion thar can do business all the year
beor, James sourIine, George Ii. GOO GoodPDm irDn
BENJAMIN sherry; and d. B Goodale And
would be Andrew Laugh, David Jolly, An.
guish gydsl smith Beary Graves. Daniel Death and
:, David Tadpoie. Cochran Roach, Robert Gait.
lanes Pigg might excusabiy be English names, a
compound Then there come come John an P"ppi. 5"pifH
David Oppil. John Iiopplc, and number do.
Jacob Meals; Enoch Fritters, John Crumb
Charles Drybread, George Goodbread Thomas
bntterbaqgh. lryiE Huckleberry. obiah Goose
and Sandy Dates. There's William Roof and
Margaret Floor. but Sarah Razor and Josiah
Door add to the list few names more.
Tho Weather Bureau at Washington tries
very hard TO let the people haze vi hat Kind of
nn be Sa' wealsr r' ie~
without Government support and corner the
market within few days Elkana Dampman,
Robort Dew. Dav vfd Moisl. Jephthn Showery
Milton Sloppy, James Blizzard, and scacat
tt cream OF the list is an.aggregation Of
names that, carry with them the impression
Of very, religions enthusiasts, foy Instance:
Easternlght. MARY j, Chapel William Arch. ip
deacon, Good Preacher, Robert Priest, Celcs.
phen Souls, Samuel Iolycto,s Pleasant Gross.
ApGstle AiMIs Gra1I jeremiah snripturs. and Lev
Vice and Conrad Sinner.
Henry Hug, John bridegroom, John weddlns,, Ing,
John Socks. James Stocking. Robert BodIin'
Jacob Needleo; Edward Dentlst. Jesse Tooth,
John EMPEROR, Moses Sovereign, Edward |
Throne, oliver Jumps. Andrew Bump, Simon |
Gaiiop The Tnanner in which din different @ paris paris
OF tho human anatomy are scattered through. |
9nt rdh thg lists might give the appearance Q!
Shanks, Thomas Foote, Hiram Head, james
iitpP Then come Jerry Cuff, Mary Collar,
ESrd Crayat, William Corsets, Robert Bonnet, |
Ihomas Hnthes, James Towel, and Tim Tubbs |
Hester Pigeon; Peter Highnote, Jane Melody, |
John iiarmony, John Songster,. John Harp, |
and ID. B. Ditty: Wayman Perfect, William |
rroper, James Polite John Harmless. Iafay.
ette favorite, ii. Cummings, Il. Rogue. Wash. |
d John 'a hSSsy William &TmR moa RfiTsh
George Thousand, David Dollal. Jacob SIii,, |
ling, Thomas Pence, William Farthing, a. |
low Merchant. William Hush, Jacob Feathers,
William Clever. William Swindle, Mary Body. |
Joseph Boil, and America Corns. Then final |
ly, the list ends with Blooming May, Henry |
Pancake, and Mary GrasshoppeT.