The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1896-07-03
No bail Game.

No ball Game.
There wasn't any ball game at the
round house last Saturday afternoon.
There were quite a number of people
there, as spectators, including many
ladies, but there wasn't any ball
game. Quite number of young men
ran around q diamond-shaped path
about forty times. but there was no
game. Tom Shaw, the druggist, had
seven different brands of fly paper,
poisonous, stickyous and ''the war
ranted-to-catch-'em," but he didn't
catch 'em, hence there was no game;
because everybody knows how nee
essary it is to catch flies in order to
get your game. 1t is like going fish
ing, must have flies or you get no fish.
There were no fish, except nine suck
ers. and no game. Little Frank Hart,
the mascot, had a costume; it is his
custom to have costume. Frank
had pair Of baseball pants Of red
ish-maroon, yellow, all fringed down
the sides, and he resembled that fam
Gus ''old hen with yellow legs" He
was most of the time out in the field
looking for flies to fill his gizzard, but
came back hungry except for few
grasshoppers. However Frank wasn't
father or mother to the big basket of
goose eggs gathered by his comrades
in distress, and Frank is willing to
certify under the seal of the court,
that there was no game.
who says there was no game. "Takes
two to make aquarrel" says AL and
''two mines to make game" AL
says he plays no more until they
adopt new rules shortening the dia-
mond one half.
Frank King was therefor a little
while-he saw 8 load Of wheat and
left for the flat-house, and all he
knows about the affair is hearsay EVIL
dence and hence, he knows of no
game. E. d. Booker attempted to
check up some of the work Of the
single men, but his drafts went to pro-
test, and he protests against calling
it a game.
G. G. Thompson is a good hand with
stick, when in the printing. office, but
baseball stick is not what he is used
to. G.. G., like that other big G. who
lives at Washington, hired a substi-
tuje and hence, 1T was not his fault If
there was no game. Gus Short, while
standing on third base attempted to
make an abstract of title to ball
coming from the catcher, but found
that the title passed to the field, and
huge mortgage was left on the ball
of his own thumb. Gus thinks the
mortgage is bigger than the original
premises and so far as he is concerned
acknowledges of his own free will and
deed that the title, ''game" except as
applied to his thumb. is not clear.
Frank Doty did considerable playing
for married man, but he is some
what excusable as he has only been
married couple Of months. Frank
really acted for a time as though he
was playing ball, but he is also con-
WINGED that he made a mistake.
Jud LaMoure Jr. umpired two in
nings and then went off Oh the prairie
to hate himself for trying to win a
game when he himself was the only
player on the married mems side.
Ernest Branchaud who followed Jud,
also found itimpossible to umpire and
run the bases himself, SO after three
more rounds he concluded to stop it
and declare all bets off. Both umpires
agree that there was no game. Brou.
lett. who scored, says between the mo-
notony of the married men and the
rapidity of the single men that he
could only guess at the score, 6 to 80
and there might be mistake of half
dozen too many for the married men
and half q dozen too little for the
singles; however 1t is evident from
the figures given that there was no
game, except this account Of 1T.