Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1896-04-26

! tion. He IL worthy man. with a head
/ that rattles with knowledge, even as the
she'll of breech-loading gun rattles with
! mustardseed shot. Through his sweeping
whlskers which droop from HIS physiog-
j noniy like the gray MOSES on a Louis
/ lana live oak. blow the breezes Of intel
! lect and historic love. but withal. no does
not know penmanship. His handwriting is
/ Ike the Ten Commandments In Chinese,
/ save that those who read-or attempt to
read it-are by no means so much benz
fitted. as In the case OF the Chinese, for
printers invariably violate the Third
Commandment when they essay to decI-
pher the manuscript The Secretary OF
the Commonwealth, Hon. Joseph T. Law
less, unlike Mr.. Brock has a magnificent
fist, but strange to say, he has a signature
which none but the initiated can read.
And so. when this official recently wrote
the historian the latter noting the secre-
tarial signature so like unto a can OF
hshng-worms. replied:
Dear Mr.. Lawless:
Some time ago my good friend. Colonel
Charley Cowardin. % the Dispatch. was
pleased to call me Jim the Penman."
I'll correct our jolly friend-the distinc-
ton Is that OF a truly lawless man.
once wrote Horace Greeley. He was
good man. and over courteous. He was
IL write an abominable hand, but the
printers will print what write, and will
know my signature; yours ! cannot de-
cipher" So he pasted my signature on
the envelope and I got his letter.
May God speed you!
Faithfully. r. A. BROCK.
An air OF gloom now overhangs our
household. No sooner had the glad sun
ch the - Rt,a
and measles which encompassed us than
our eighteenth servant-girl Of the past
three months rendered her resignation. We
have just awakened TO the fact that
the Amalgamated Association of Nurses
has boycotted us. For some reason we
have lost caste with our colored subordi-
mates. They spurn our gold. They do not
need our services-in short, they will
have none OF US. In the last ninety days
we have tried every sample of Ethiopian
femlninity obtalnable, and the supply has
at last become unequal to the demand. We
commenced with Aunt Emelina, a car
BOMBED relict of snte-bellum days, who
survived the late war with but one tooth,
and then, in the descending line, went
through series OF Lilies Daisies Roses,
Violets, Pearls. and Rubies. But some
one else has garnered our flowers. and
despoiled US OF our gems, and. now, to-
straining influences which hitherto they
have enjoyed. Towards the last IL took
them all their leisure time to keep up with
the names of their curators. Why these
functionaries Of ours should thus depart
Is more than / can say, unless II be that
each, in leaving, found opportunity to
carry with her some little souvenir from
the articles Of my clothing.
n
with our nurses. was invariably humble,
respectful. and anxious TO do their bid
ding, and, then. too. dogs, babies, and
servants all Ike me. But this tie has not
been sufficient to bind. and, one by one,
our burnt-sienna treasures have left u.s. 1t
may be because we recently enacted
stringent Law forbidding them the use OF
our piano and parlor, or possibly their
generation for me always kept them I'M
easy. "Cullud pussons' stand in awe OF
lawyers, and l have often noticed that
when they saw me reading Second
Minor they would gaze with bulging
eyes and fear and trembling upon me. In
fact i gaze with fear and trembling upon
Second Minor myself. After all The
vicissitudes we have undergone, the ques-
ton presents itself. Is 1t better TO ma
nipulate the youngsters yourself, or 10
spend the time In training their nurses?
FROM whenever STANDPOINT you declde,
you may rest assured that 1t is useless
10 undertake the job unless halos OF
sanctificauon encircle your head. The
very time you find yourself most pleased
with the servant, you discover that she
has been using your hair-brush, and so,
on the other hand. the very time you
think the infants are most tractable and
docile, you learn with horror that they've
been playing with the box Of Rough on
Rats" OF licking the concentrated-lye
can. There's only one comfort you have
that when We have run our course We
will meet fitting reward in that great
place where babies never squirm. and
where nurses in glory stand eager to
do the bidding Of their masters.
THE IDLE REPORTER.