Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-01-30
Mr.. and Mrs. BOwser.

|
Bowser, who sat near him sewing.
" was just wondering what mer
do who have no homes, and how
, many of those who have them ap
F preciate them as / do mine.n
~ am glad to know you are salts
fed with our home," replied Mrs
; Bowser.
|, "Of course I'm satisfied-wh,
shouldn't / be? l don't believ,
there's house in the State bette
kept than this. 1t is always spic
span clean, nothing is wasted anc
. your bump of order is sometime
remarkable"
Ppm awfully glad to hear you
say So" replied Mrs. Bowser, as hel
lace lighted up. 81 try to do nv
best, but there are times when
when"
I" When Pm regular old crank,
he finished with laugh. We'll
don't let that worry you. No mat.
ter how big crank / am, you are
duly appreciated. Its funny what
notions man gets into his head,
isn't it? ?"
Yes" she reluctantly replied,
fully realizing that he was treading
on dangerous ground.
"Ha! ha! ha! Do you remem-
ber how / tried to put down that
bedroom carpet and nearly killed
myself to save fifty cents! That
was one of my cranky notions. And
don't you remember how I tried to
clean house-ha ha! hal"
But we get along all right" said
Mrs. Bowser, wondering how she
could lead the conversation to some
other subject.
"Of course we do, though there
are times when 1 ought to be kicked
for my foolishness. On the street
car the other day l got to thinking
about my buying that fire. escape,
and ! laughed till everybody looked
at me. Wasn't that daisy-that
fire-escape-ha ha ! ha !"
"Any news in the evening paper o"
she queried, as he held his sides and
gurgled.
Nothing to speak of, and don't
you remember of my taking a fit to
sleep in hammock on the roof, and
how one of the ropes broke one
night and-ha! ha! ha! If some
of these funny men could get hold
of my adventures what a lecture
they could make! Have you for
gotten when took dose of that
dandruf eradicator for Spring tonic
-ha ha ha !"
"That was funny, indeed u'-
laughed Mrs. Bowser in spite of her
fears.
Funny! 1t was dog gone funny!
And the time / had the grippe and
thought l was going to die-ha |! ha !
ha! l expect Pm the boss crank of
America; and you deserve a pension
for bearing with me 80 patiently.
DO you recall the day came home
and jawed around about the set of
my collar, and you discovered that I
had been wearing my night shirt
all day-ha ha ha! It's a wonder
that you have stood it as long with
me as you have"
" You've had a good many notions
and whims, but 1 hope you'll reform
In that direction. I expect you've
thrown away three thousand dollars
since we were married in indulging
in your odditios."
How thrown away ?" sharply
queried Mr.. Bowser, as he instantly
sobered up.
"Why, you have paid as high as
three hundred dollars for a horse
not worth fifty; you've bought pigs
at high price which you had to
give away; you've bought hens at
two dollars apiece which never laid
an egg, and"
care you talking to me, Mrs.
Bowser ?" he demanded as he rose
up and stood before her.
~" Why, yes," she replied. We
were having a good-natured talk
about some of the foolish things you
have done, and i"
"What foolish things have l done /?
Just name one single thing, will
you ?"
Didn't you pay three hundred
dollars for a horse which ran away
and smashed everything and nearly
killed us both the first time you
drove him ?" she timidly asked.
I" bought horse for three hun
dred. He was beautiful animal
and as gentle as a child. You op-
posed his purchase, and to carry out
your fell designs you went out to the
barn in my absence and drove tacks
into him, pounded him with the
snow-shovel, and otherwise abused
him until he was frightened to
DEATH"
Why, Mr. Bowser -
Don't why Mr.. Bowser' me !
You have charged me with throw.
ing away thousands Of dollars fool
ishly. / am either sensible man
or fool. Give me an instance OF
my wasteful extravaganza"
I'll don't think yon are waste
fully extravagant. You simply dc
odd things and have cranky no
tions."
81 do odd things, do I? Just
mention one instance, will you?
have cranky notions, have /? Just
specify one Of those cranky no,
tions 20
Wasn't IL odd about your wear.
ing your night shirt around al
day ?n
"No, ma'am, 1t wasn't--not wher
} the circumstances are considered
1t was simDly a mt nm toh on Won,