Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1896-03-19
that's what / said, but / rot it down

papers wrote about how no real, first
class philanthropist would give money
to street beggar, but only take him to
q Joint and buy him meal. wish
had that mug here" and the wooden
leg described an exclamation point in
the air. "Since then amt had a
thing but grub, grub, grub, till it gives
me the Jiggers to look at bill Of fare"
"Wotcher goin' ter do about it?' in
CURED the other in unconscious pare
phrase Of historic parsonage
I'm going to do the philanthropist,-
returned Pegdot, land you're going to
chip in and push it along. Now, look
a-here, what do You think I want Of
your meals?"
Not much; you want the ready ter
soak away inter the bank with enough
LEFT out fer ball an bench all night
at the Rest"
To this summing up Of his ambitions
the panhandler agreed with nod. He
leaned over and said confdentially:
Every time I run in q good thing
here the joint gets the biz, don't itr'
Sure"
''And get nothing"
"Y' get yer grub"
Grub be darned,' said Pegdot, with
great emphasis. II want cash; that's
what want. Understand?"
Yep. Keep that silt O yourn glued
ter tn floor, will yer?"
Here's the scheme: run in the guy
md hn Il ri%
down, but I don't order, and as quick as
he gets out get up without eating any
thing. But you got the 10 cents for the
grub. You give me the ten cents and
keep the three cents. You's the three
cents to the good, and you get 1t for
nothing, for don't take bite. Under
stand2"
No audible reply came from the
other, but he thrust his face forward,
drew up the corner of his mouth in an
extraordinary grimace, winked VIC
lently, and then waggled his hand un-
der his chin. That was all.
ooh! WE'LL said the inventor of the
scehme, somewhat discounted, II
amt mean; say eight cents to me and
the nickel to you. .... .
"D'ycr take this joint fer Christmas
tree?" inquired Jim, coolly. "Youse
gimme seven cents an take six; see ?'
"Do get bowl of stew thrown in p
THAT goes" said Jim, and the deal
was concluded.
The very next day in came Peg with a
philanthropist in tow. He was young
philanthropist, able bodied and we'll
dressed, and Peg tipped wink TO his
friend Jim.
"Pay here, gent" said Jim.
"All right; one meal. How much ?"
said the young man. ~ .s| 'n
Thirteen CENTS replied the cashier,
and the philanthropist, putting down
the money, followed Pegs lead into the
place, which was more than Peg had
reckoned on. .-..H.
"You wouldn't sit down here, sir"
he expostulated. "a gent like you
don't want to be seen in a place like
this"
II guess none of my acquaintance
are likely to see me here" returned the
young man, easily. go ahead and
eat"
But it amt a fit place for you," in.
sisted Peg. ct may not look so bad,
but it amt so clean as it might be, and
the board of health's been after it.
Only poor unfortunates like me cats
here" ......r r......
Don't apologize for the place." was
the reply. at isn't so bad as it might
be-"
Seeing nothing else for it, Peg or
dered his dinner and set to work upon
it; but it was slow work. Six beers
and a couple of WHISTLES that morning
had gone far toward running his appe-
tite, and it seemed as if every swallow
must be his last. In despair he made
final attempt.
"Say, Mike, what did they do with
that hobo that was took with typhus in
here yesterday" he inquired of. a
waiter, winking to make Mike under
stand he was to back up the statement.
But Mike wasn't quick enough. .
"Typhus, me eye!" he said, disdain-
fully. "Ain't yuse had de snakes
enough times t know 'em when y
see 'em? Say, yer wooden-toed OF soak,
I'll make fried egg outer yer face if
yer screw it up at me dat way agin."
81 don't care to take any unnecessary
chances" said Beg's philanthropist.
"In case it might have been typhus,
I'll take precautions" and pouring some
vinegar into q saucer he scattered it
about, whereupon Mike Immediately
put down a two-cent check for extras"
1t was hard struggle for Peg to
down that meal, but the young man was
watching him closely, and he had to
do it. All things come to an end, but
the meals end was very near being
Pegs end; at least he felt that way.
1t filed him up till he was too inert to
beg, SO he went to the Rest and hiber-
mated over night on the strength of
two drinks purchased with dime he
had saved from the night before.
3 While there he perfected his plan
and unfClded it to his friend Jim as
soon as he could get to him. The result
was that new bill of fare was specially
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