The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-15
THE TINE TO LAUGH.
4 True Philosophers Guide-BeGec-
lions on the Laws of Appropriate
Laughter.


Laughter.
From the New York sun.
Law and order. says the wise woman,
are wonderful things. They viii inspire
awe If properly contemplated. The taste
for so contemplating them is, however.
like the taste for tobacco, not innate, but
acquired. To the natural man. him Of the
as yet non-spiritural body, they made but
scant appeal. The natural man is, In
these times and lands, usually hoy ana
he evinces his Indifference TO the majestic
beauty of system in uncOunted ways. one
way in which he manlfests his oblecuon
TO system is in his laughter. lie laughs
when he chooses, at what he chooses, anu
for the most part, where he chooses
AS, however, the wise woman continues,
the crude, unpublished boy OF II develops
through the spiritualizing influences of
polite society into the well-polished man
OF "a, he acquires for law feNerdnce
which amounts almost 10 a passion. lie
governs the whole course of MS lie by
rule, not his work merely, but even MS
pleasures. Think of itt Nothing Is lett
TO the chance direction Of impulse or
spontaneity, not even a laugh. The UNI
trained boy laughed when he choose. So
ciety laughs when laughter is appropri-
ate and has fixed rules defining the word
appropriate"
The nature of these rules for laughter is
so mysterious to- the uninltiated that an
ignoramus in society lore, learned phi
LOSODnGEt l0E example on N9llA 10 enter
the charmed circle, would probably ma
his sense of humor even more i'm need of
discipline than his taste in neckues. Inc
question between the dress coat and the
Tuxedo would be but as the metric sys-
TEN in Its simplicity compared with the
complex integral calculus of the question
when TO laugh, when TO keep silent So
clety might be induced TO pardon or posi-
bly, to adore as an eccentrcity even
bathrobe at dinner, but any unconven-
tiOnality in mans sense OF humor marks
"a EaHH "a HFr ina y
habits are of long standing. They war
rant respect and must be treated with
tact. There are certain subjects the phi
losOpher must learn, which ne must never
treat with common sense and which he
must greet with laughter whenever any
similarly trained person mentions them.
These are the permanent jokes, the jokes
that are always laughable. Their hu-
NOR does not depend, the philosopher
should observe, upon any originality or
treatment. 1t lies in themselves. AS the
snake is innately repulsive to man, so
these subjects are intrinsically humorous.
Take the idea Of an unhappy marriage;
that IS an intrinsically humorous idea.
1t is brought out in various ways one
way that is very popular Is to have
Brown say; Hello Jones! Going out Of
town. Ell? Wife going with you2' And
pleasure trip this time" The Joke gains
an added flavor If the marriage is be-
tween an impecuniOUs English nobleman
and an American heiress Any little slur
that can be cast upon a husbands in
attention to his wife is particularly TAX
ing, as: who's that with De SmytheT'
HIS wife, THAT can't be; l saw him
pick up her fan moment ago." They've
only been married a fortnight" or He g
just received the bill" Either ending is
Another intrinsioally laughable subject
is women. Anything about woman who
said anything mean about another wo-
man, or any mistakes that women make
in banking. or anything about their Gu
riOsity. or their fOndness for changing
their minds, or their inability to cook,
or the cost of their bOnnets Is irresstibiy
funny. Take that woman who oVerdreW
her bank account and sent check on the
same bank TO pay her debt. Hasn't she
amused you for years? Aren't you ford
Certain cities, too. are very amusing
Boston and Philadelphia and Chicago,
There is, of course, but one joke about
cultured and Philadelphia slow is this
joke. 1t is quite generally made by hav-
ing some Bostonian speak Greek and by
mentioning that the Phlladelphlans are
just getting ready 10 go 70 the world 8
fair or to some other well known and
long past event. Sometimes men combine
Chicago and Boston in one joke. A favo-
rite method of doing this is to have a
Chicago 3-year-old babe say to a Boston
3-year-old ditto "Ihem' um, and TO nave
the Boston babe reply haughtily THESE
are they" There are two Chicago jokes.
One is that Chicago annexed a great deal
Of territory In a short time and the other
is fairly side-splitting in its humor, for It
combines the delicate mirth-provoking
charm connected with any, even the brief
est, mention of women with the idea Of
size and of Chicago. 1t concerns the di-
mansions of the feet of Chicago women.
Another method Of making the city joke
is to have an inhaoltant Of one of them
20 to heaven and remark that it is very
nice but it isn't Boston or Philadelphia
or Chicago, whichever his city may have
been. This rendering is sometimes made
still more complex by sending a second
deceased to join the first deceased in his
post-mortem home. Then ensues the fol-
lowing conversations:
do you like it here, now that you're really
First Deceased-oh, very much. The
climate is really better than ours used TO
be, but / miss the trolleys somewhat. OF
course, heaven isn't quite Boston
Second Deceased (after a solemn pause,
and in significant tones)-This isn't heav-
Any list of permanent jokes must, Of
course, mention the plumber, the gas Mt
ter and the artist. The philosopher must
train himself to hail all these mirth-pro-
Voking names with glee. The amusing
thing about the plumber is that his
charges are high This item of expense is
also amusing When Il is mentioned in con-
nection with a gas-htter. 1t loses all sug-
gestion of the humorous, however, when
Il is found in connection with either a CT
gar or a bicycle dealer. There is a deli
cate distinction in these matters which
the philosopher will do well to observe.
AS to artists, the funny thing about them
is that they sometimes paint poor pic
lures.
A complete analysis of the permanent
Jokes seems, with mans present limita-
TONS impossible. The most familiar
things of life defy analysis. The main
subjects have, however, been mentioned,
and present an almost unlimited variety
when IL is remembered that not only are
these subjects themselves humorous. but
they gain in humor by being combined.
Could one only combine them all-Make.
for instance, an tmpeeunious English earl
who had been educated In Boston and
was living in Philadelphia, marry for
wealth and title respectively, then make
the plumbers bill for renoYating the me-