Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1896-11-13
PODGELEY'S RIDE.

hour by the clock, but which lasted me
very much longer period, for during
that half hour Podgeley and his bicycle
lay about all over me very freely and
took liberties with my epidermis which
it needed weeks to repair. Podgeley was
not hurt, of course. got the knocks.
When he fell off, or with. his machine,
/ was always on the spot to be lain
down upon, you see, so that naturally
Podgeley was all right.
For all that he did not learn to ride
in that first half hour with me for teach
err He learned nothing then. unless it
were few new words which l may
have taught him when he rammed me
backward into stone wall, with his
front wheel between my knees and the
handle of his machine in my watch
pocket. / may have said something
original when he did that l don't
position, and that | admired it still less
when Podgeley shot forward, with his
fingers all over my face and neck, and
dragged me sideways down the wall in
a sort of general chaos of spokes and
treadles and handle bars and Podgeley
and me.
That was the end Of the first half
hours lesson, and l went to bed after
it, and it was while / lay amending
there that Podgeley went and had IA
shillings' worth of tuition at the Crys-
tai palace. He had four lessons for this
sum, but / would bet my last shilling
that it required four different men to
give Podgeley four lessons. No one man
could survive the lot, and it is extreme
ly improbable that any single individ-
nal would be we'll enough to teach
Podgeley even twice within a week or
two. And if he were we'll enough he GER
tainly would not be foolish enough-nOt
for 3s. Cd. at any rate. Podgeley ought
to be taught from a gallery. That
would be the way with Podgeley. The
teacher could stand there in safety and
shout out his instructions, only the sup
ports to the gallery must be strongly
made, for if they received anything like
the punishment Podgeley and his ma
chine gave me they would be shaken to
their very foundations That machine
of his, you see, was very demon when
roused and it seemed to rouse it to
have Podgeley in the saddle. / am
bound TO say that any bicycle might
fairly lose its temper with Podgeley
up" don't blame the machine bit.
1t must be maddening thing to have a
rider on ones back of Podgeley's stamp,
and if | were bicycle and he behaved
on me as he did on that wretched ma
chine | dare say l should 90 as mad as
it does and dash my head against every
obstacle | came across and buck, and
rear, and skid, and play Old Nicholas
generally in order to get rid of him.
1t is very generous Of me to speak like
this of his bicycle for, as matter of
fact, that machine hurt me very much,
and at the time | was not at all inclined
TO make allowances for it and was dis
posed TO regard its loss Of temper and
the general abandoned recklessness of
its conduct as very unbecomlng to a II
guinea machine, even on deferred pay
monitor those were the terms upon
which some confding individuals sold
1T to Podgeley. If they had known d lit
tie more of my friend as rider they
would have reflected that there would
not be the remOtest chance of recovering
any portion OF the thing bigger than a
penny piece after Podgeley should have
ridden it for a week or two, and suppos-
ing that the payments had become over
due. Why, ii Is not even now more than
six weeks since Podgeley bought that
machine, and | am sure he does not
know where any Of it is at this moment.
The fact is, it is dead and distributed
long since, and that is partly why am
so generous in speaking of it. De NOR
tuis, l have always thought, nil nisi
bonum which may be translated for my
less learned readers, Don't jump on
dead dogs.
] think ! ought TO admit that there
are corporations even for those who
have suffered Tor trying to teach Podge-
ley
On my bed of sickness, or rather of
confusion and abrasion, 1 lay and re-
fec;ed muc! and the remembrance Of
Podgeley S little short, fat figure, cooked
up OIl lIlub blCl GIG, tIlctItNl anu COuSOlOu
me very greatly. Ills legs are very short
ones and do not reach the treadlcs even
when the saddle is dumped down as
low as it will go. Thus Podgeley, in
order TO set the machine going. is
obliged to kick at the treadles us they
go round, for he cannot keep his feet
upon them all the time. Sometimes
Podgeley comes down fairly upon the
treadle and sometimes he does not.
When the latter happens, he gets tipped
forward and nearly falls off. Well. the
bicycle hates it, of course, and bucks
and dashes often enough in bee line
for the first lamppost or curbstone it
sees, anxious to pay out Podgeley for
kicking at it.
OF course it is very awkward for the
man who is holding Podgeley up on
these occasions, for the bicycle does not
think of any ones interests but its own
and involves all concerned in ruin be-
cause Of POdpeley. Still. it is rather