Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1896-10-01
SAID BY A GAS COLLECTOR.
He Tells why Bills Are Larger Some
Months Than Others.

months Inun Otncrs'
There are gas collectors and gas col
lectors. Some enter your premises like
q raging lion and some like sucking
dove. Some look as If they had just
come from the 'works, and are strong
~ redolent of gas tar, and others culti-
vate dudish elegance which would be
funny If it were not semi pitiful.
Of the many gas collectors l know
the most charming is handsome old
man with a ruddy face, snow white
mustache, somewhat equity feet, and
a smile which positively Eliminates
the room he enters. do not know his
name or anything about him, but |
know he has seen much of life and has
forgotten very little of the many things
he has learned.
In speaking of his calling he said:
"There is much more in gas bills than
you might believe. After you have
been on certain route for long
time every gas bill is a little book in
itself. If you take house where
family lives in decent style you know
just about how much gas they are go
ing TO burn for reading and enter
tanning. If the bill runs over this figure
you know that they are lavish in their
hospitality, that they live well, that
they are generous and good-natured.
"Their servant girls stay with them
long time and generally become fat
and rosy. They themselves increase in
weight and there is very little danger
of their moving away in hurry. So,
on the other hand, when bill runs
below what it ought to be you know
that in that family sorrow sits on the
hearthstone and hunger occupies the
cupboard. The servant girls are al
ways thin and change regularly every
two or three months. The woman of
the house is thin in the face and form,
and the man has usually sad and
somewhat henpecked appearance.
"Where the newsboy throws in more
than three or four papers day and the
gas bills are high it is safe to bet that
the family are rather literary in their
tastes, and that at least one of them
uses spectacles.
where the papers are numerous and
the bills very low the head Of the house
is generally noisy reform politician,
who denounces everybody as a rascal
until he himself gets into Office, and
then the bills go up and the papers go
down.
"When it comes to professions, the
very busy do not run large gas bills.
The doctor, the lawyer and the newspa-
per man, who work very hard in their
Office or in the open, are usually so tired
that they go to bed as soon as they
can. Their wives seldom sit up for
them after the first year of married
life has gone by. The gas is therefore
turned down, and the bills become dis
couragingly small to the company.
Young doctors who give dinner parties,
young lawyers who cultivate whist,
genial newspaper men who like poker,
are the gentlemen who, when l hand
them bills, invariably remark: Il can't
understand why my gas bill should be
so large
81 understand perfectly, but / say
nothing.
"Courtship is good thing to save
gas bills. Young women engaged or
about to be engaged usually mean a re-
duction in gas bills OF two dollars a
month. Cross children, on the other
hand, generally raise gas bills a dollar
a month. Bicycling las injured the
gas trade terribly. First, the husband
goes out upon Wheel then the wife
follows his example. The gas is turned
down, and when they come back they
are usually SO tired from the long spin
that they have no desire to sit up and
burn the midnight oil.
people who are always experiment.
ing with economical burners are very
good customers. They have different
styles of tips in different rooms, utterly
regardless of the pressure, and chuckle
to themselves in saving half foot an
hour upon one burner while four others
are burning two feet extra from In
creased pressure.
II know one old lady who buys every
economizer and gas-saver that comes
into the market, and know that her
gas bills are much larger than they
would have been If she had bought moth
Ing, and that she would have saved the
$3.50 or 5000 she has thrown away upon
catchpenny devices.'-N. Y. Mail ant
Express.