davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
SLIPS IN SPEECH.
sundry 'Isad Breaks" That Are Made with
the Best Intentions In tho World.

the Best Intentions In tho World.
In tho hurry Of speech and anxiety to
be polite one is very often liable to slips
of the tongue which may put an entire
" different construction upon the SEN
tence than was intended. For example,
apon arriving at your entertainer S
house, you say, Il beg a Thousand par
dons for coming so late, and are met
by your hostess with the words: 'My
dear sir, no pardous are needed; you
can never come too late. -
Take another instance. At an even
ing party in Cork lady said TO her
partner, Can you tell me who that ex-
ceedingly plain man is sitting opposite
to u.s." "That is my brother. " ooh, 1
beg your pardon, she replied, much
confused, Il did not notice the resem-
blance. "
That was certainly putting ones foot
in it, and yet was perhaps not so awk-
ward as the following; After a certain
concert a well known German canta-
trice asked a gentleman to whom she
had been introduced how he liked her
duet. "You sang eharmingly, madam.
But why did you select a horrid piece
of musieg" Sir, that was written by
my late husbandp' "Ah, yes, Of course.
l did not mean- But why did you se-
lect such an ass to sing with you?"
Zach himmel, that is my present hus-
band r.
A lady said something the other day
at a friends dinner that found mark
tho archer little meant There were sew
eral strangers present, and in response
to a remark made about certain lady
of u certain age the fair guest in ques-
tion exclaimed, "Why. good graciousl
she is as old us the hillsl" and could
not imagine in the least what had caused
the general CONSERVATION. She did a
little later, however, when it was ex-
planned to her that two maiden sisters
at the table, whose names she did NOS
catch in the introduction, were called
Hill, and We're extremely sensitive on
the subject Of age,
Here, my dear husband" said a
loving wife, 81 have brought you a little
silver pig for luck. It's charm, you
know, dear, to bring happiness to a
house
"Ah, how kind Of you, darling But
why should need a little pig to bring
me luck when l have you still?"
An awkward compliment recently
rather disturbed the harmony Of a we'd
ding breakfast given by substantial
farmer blessed with five daughters,
the eldest being the bride. A neighbor-
ing young farmer, who was honored
with an invitation, thinking, no doubt,
he ought to say something smart and
complimentary upon the event, address
ing the bridegroom, said, "Well, you
have got the pick Of the batch. " The
countenances Of the four unmarried ones
may be imagined. New York Dispatch,
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Miss Burney, or Mime. D'Arhlay, re-
tains place in literature partly by her
novels, partly by her exceedingly inter
esting diary. Nor must it be forgotten
that, although "EvelinaH appeared SO
long ago as li7S, there are many people
still living wno weles young men and
women when she died. She has teen
praised by Macaulay for describing zeal
life with broad, comic humor, yet
in language that is never "inc0nsis tent
with rigid morality or even with virgin
delicacy, and il is rue chat Evelina
possesses unique interest as a description
of contemporary manners and is free
from unnecessary eoarsenoss. 1t is also
true that the author has a keen eye for
the ridiculous and a considerable GIT Of
satire Nevertheless Nine. D'Arblay is
not entitled to any high place as ancvel-
ist. Her constructive skill is slaall, ard
her characters are for the most part
what johnson would have called "hu-
morists" that is, they are the incarna
ton Of qualities rather than flesh and
blood individuals. Moreover, the author
herself is humorist. Herrulmg pas
Sion Is morbid craving 10 be gent
She has no mercy fol yulsarity or the ul-
gar, but she faihtosee that her own wor-
ship Of society conventions is itself vul-
gar. And hence one may doubt the pro
priety Of assigning TO her "broad comic
humor. She was too much Of IIig to
be possessed Of humor, which impioatos
geniality.
Still, Nine. D'Arblay claims respect
on the specific ground that She did EUch
to purify an important form Of htera-
ture, while size has Il certain additional
claim to remembrance from her conucc-
ton with Dr. Johnson. Did not DIR.
Johnson kiss her, and has she not record
ed, ''To be snre, 1 was a little surprised,
having no idea of such Righteousness
from hin? "-Couihill Magazine.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
A Monster 5nnnnese God.

A huge metal image of the god Dia.
But-Su is the artificial wonder of Japan.
The exact date Of the erection of this gi-
gantio brazen image is not known. How
ever, this much is certain. The Mikado
Shomu died in the year 74S A. D., and it
was some time during his reign that the
figure was set up, The total weight of the
metal used in the construction of this
enormous memorial of an imaginary deity
was something over $50 tons, tho most
costly Ingredients being silver and gold.
OF gold something near 300 pounds were
used; silver /, 95l tin, Is. 1921, and cop
per, 986, O80 pounds. The height of the
figure from the sacred lotus flower in
which he sits is 63]5 feet. The face is IS
feet long and = feet in width in the
broadcast place. The eyes are rather out Of
proportion, oach being 80 feet in longth
from corner to corner. Each ear is So feet
in length from upper rim 60 tip of lobe and
has a cavity in which two average sized
men can easily hide themselves. The
chest is 20 feet in depth, and tho middle
finger is exactly feet in length. The
leaves of the sacred lotus flower, upon
which the figure is seated, are each covered
with several pounds of pure gold leaf.
They are 10 feet long and feet wide, and
there arc 56 of them.
Old historians of Japan say that the
casting of the idol was several times at
tempted before being successfully accom-
plished; also that over 5000 tons of char
coal were used in tho operation
York Dispatch.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

A sensitive cab horse and four
wheeler drew up in front Of a theater
the other night. and a portly old gentle
man alighted.
Having handed the cabhy his strictly
legal fare, he turned round to make his
way into the building
Excuse me, sir, " said the weather
beaten cabby, "but would yer. oblige me
by not passing in front of the old boss?
If he sees what weight he's pulled for a
bob, he'll simply drop down dead -.
Pearson's Weekly.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
powntroddsn Mr.. ellmmerton.

"Did anybody ever hear of anybody
so downtrodden as II" said Mr.. Glim-
merton. If go to the parlor window
10 look out into the street, and, coming
away. leave the curtain awry, as I am
very apt to do, hear my Oldest daugh-
ter say, twenty-five cents, and l have
to pay it; it's a fine for not readjusting
the curtains as they should be- What do
you think of that for domestic tyranny?
But it has its bright side The money
SO collected goes to buy things that 9th
erwise would have to pay for, so per-
haps it is just as well. New York
SIM
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

The house in which George III was
born Gas stated in MIR. Dasent's compre-
hensive history Of st. James square) is
still standing, at the back Of Norfolk
House, in St. James square, parallel
with the front mansion. It is dwarf
Hanoverian building, almost of the cot
tage type, and has been used for many
years as a servants and stable house.
What is now the stable yard was for
merly garden which faced tho square.
London News.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
mAEN loveLAcg cAMg ID Voc.

The feet Of time make fast their pace,
A.sd we, like players in play
strut up anil down our little space
And act our parts as best we may
Aiasl Alack and well dayi
The stage is Digit in somber hue,
Where once that stately vogue held sway
when Richard Lovelace came TO WOO.
And much we marvel as we trace
The feuds and foibles passed away
While pomp of power and pride Of place
Troop down the years in grand array
In court and camp, in fete and Fray
Tickle and 1ippant, stanch ana true
such were tho galiants bold and gay
when Richard Loyelace came 70 WOO
In doublet fine and frills Of lace
The lover sought his suit to pay;
With such q form and such face,
Who could resist his plea, pray
And then that tender roundelay'
So like q wood dovc's plaintive COO
Sweet Lucy could not say him nay
When Richard LOvelace came 20 WOO
ENVOY.
Ho, Kentish towersl your lordly race
Had swords to draw and deeds to DO
In that eycntful year Of grace
When Richard Lovelace came 70 WOO.
-Lueius Harwood Foote In Overland
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
The oueen's Needle.

Queen Victoria is in possession of a
curious needle. 1t was made at the cell
ebrated needle mandatory at Redditch
and represents the Trajan column in
miniature. Scenes from the queens life
are depicted on the needle, SO finely cut
that they are only discernible through a
microscope.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Mr. Daniel Knbsck, aS3s Elliott street.
Baltimore, Nd, says: For years I lave
been great sufferer i5om sidney aud blad
der disease. There wssa constant discharge
ofmucus, aud almost total inability to con
trol discharges from the bladder Pains in
back, along the eroins, severe headache,
general weakness, conlq not sleep and could
not go about. l gave up al hope until !
gave Munyon's Remedies a trial; they cured
me entirely. am now free from pain; no
uncasiness no trouble.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Two Seotsmen, one an Aberdonian
and the other a man from Inverary.
were engaged in a hot debate on the
correctness Of their respective modes Of
English pronunciation. At last he Of
the Granite City clnched matters by re-
marking with whitening contempt,
''Weel, at ony rate, / dinna ca flush
tp..-l -
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

During the coming year there will be an
immense number Of matters Of the most
vital interest 10 farmers dealt with by Con-
gress and the Executive Departments At
Washington. It is highly important that
the farmers be kept promptly and fully in
formed as to what is being planned and done
affecting them at the National Capital They
should all therefore, take The American
Farmer. which, being on the ground, has
better facilities than any other paper for get
ting this information, and devoies itself to
this duty They will find 10 it constantly a
great amount Of valuable information that
they can get in no other paper
THE AMERICAN FARMER and the
CHRONICLE for one year for $40.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
1891 THE CULTIVATOR 1896
OVS- AND -
COUNTRY GENTLEMAN
THE BEST OF THE
AGRICULTURAL WEEKLiES.
DEVOTED To
Farm Crops and Processes,
Horticulture and Fruit-Growing,
Livestock and Dairying,

While it also includes all minor departments
f Rural interest, such as the Poultry Yard
Entomology, Bee Keeping, Greenhouse and
GrdpeTy, Veterinary Replies, Farm CUES
tious and Answers, Fireside Reading, Do
nestle Economy, ard summary of the
News the Week. II Market Reports are
unusually complete, aud much attention j,
paid to the Prospects Of the Crops, as throw
wg light upon Que Of The most important OF
questions p When to 6ay amt HheH 10 Sell
II is Literally illustrated, and contains more
reading matter than ever before the sub
scriptiou Price is s. so per year, bu; we offer
SPECIAL. REDUCTION in our
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

The largest pure diamond, that be-
longing to the Rajah of Matsan. weighs
B67 carats The one of next greatest
weight, tha Orloof or Orlof1. weighs
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

In 1880 the value of materials used
in the cotton mills Of this country was
$1O2, 600, 600. while in 1890 the value
bad risen 10 &l5R. 600. 900.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Mrs. Moneybags-Your sons extrava.
Yanoe is increasing He wants new
plaything. This time it is a stable Of race
horses.
Mr.. Moneybags - That's all right.
was afraid he wanted to start a newspa-
Pearson's Weekly.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

"Gussie, why did you refuse Smith
EFT? Did he show the cloven foot?"
''No, but he showed the cloven
breath i'--Detroit Free Press.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Timmins-I fear that will never sue
coed as a literary man, after all.
Simmons--You don't mean it,
Timmins-But l do. / had myself care
fully examined by most eminent brain
specialist, and he says there is nothing the
matter with me.--Indianapolis journal.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Lead pencils are a misDomer
There is no lead in their composition.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Slippers play an important part in
the life Of almost every man. In child
hood they are laid on him; in manhood,
just after he has been married, they are
thrown after him, and for ii cmSidcra-
BILE part CT the rest Of his life they a1e
under linn ---Roxbury Gazette.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
Oldest Agricultural Paper in Am erica
(EsTABLisHED 1879
lHB AMERICAN FARMER,
1729 New z9rlz Avenue,
WASHINGTON, D. c.

The American Farmer, which is now en-
tering upon its 77th year, is the pioneer
paper in this country
1t is large eight page paper and con
tains Sc columns of the choicest agricultural
aud literary matter, plentfuliy embellished
with fine illustrations. Il is
NATIONAL IN CHARACTER.
and deals with farming and farmers interests
on broad practical lines. It
EMPLOYS THE BEST OF WRITERS
in tbs country, and everything that appears
in its columns is of the highest character
Every department Of the farmer s business
is discussed III an earnest, practical way,
looking to the greatest profit ard benefit to
the farmer and his family.
It appears on the FIRST of each month, aud
is furnished at the low price Of
SO CENTS A YEAR
In advance This makes il the cheapest
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

gzS~To all new subscribers fer 1896, pay
ing in ad0aRee nos0we will send the pap,
WEEKLY, /Jfm oHJ- RECEIPT of HE remit
iaRce, to January ISL 1896, wIrHoU
CHARGE.
SPECIMEN COPIES FRFE Address
LUTHER TUCKER & son, Publishers
Albany. ~ Y
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

Thr Greatest Of an Encyclopedia Animals Il
is n Manual If CompTshen iv-ness as VII as
Chespn'ss. u Is Pmclicii Tn rough, Compre-
hensive o nd OF else
Complete and Condensed Information on pOpu-
Ter lines.
weather Force SIS for the year 1896 by Prof
" li Hg- "ue, son in law. pu Ill aud assistant 10
The ls'e y Of john II. Tice, the admitted discoy-
errr Of the clecirO-plane'ary systerl, upon which
". aiher forecasts arc based.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

in advance. This makes it the cheape
agricultural paper in the country.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07

foandest thou BIT who find nothing in
the disc.o-mcs ii science to shake their
faith in The eternal virtues Of reason
snd religion George Ripley.
Every West Point cadet signs an obi
CATION TO serve tou years in the acad-
envy and four i'll the army after gradua
tiOn.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
AMERICAN
An Ideal Farm and Family Weekly

To cXie its usefulness and make 10 TIactica
ntcesslty L. every prog essiye farmer ard his
fsmilv, the American Agricultural is now pub
i,esd Of month %osiS,Ij SONY ST. a Year
An the leading features thar have made the
monthly popular retained ana many new
features sdfcd such a. General and Local Mn.
krt Prices Crop reports ir their Sea on Con-
denscd Farm News and Letters Among th
Farmers.
Milford chronicle., 1896-02-07
The AMERICAN AGRIlULTURIST
Weather Forecasts
Farmers Almanac
CONTAINING STATISTICS on
agriculture, Railroads, Schools, Politics,
Weather,
Cities, Counties, States, Countries,
Poop c, a imals, Birds, Insects,
AgHOUSAND
IlNHINGS
HOUGHTE JL "otLn hNhH THINK or
THINKERS
800 PAGES. 10000 Facts. 1000 TalGs.

Until they consnitel this giant NJ useful inform
alton. Il is an up-to-dtte Manual for every boiY.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
Indorsed by Remmel.

'For this righteous position taken
by Governor Clarke, | hope it will
d-pend upon the Republican vote
in the next legislature to say who
will be the next United States
senator; in which case l will use my
influence to give that vote to turn
down the man who has been untrue
to the industrial interests of the
state, and will help to elect Clarke,
who is showing a patriotic spirit in
forwarding the industrial interests
of the South Speech of H, l..
Remmel at the Republican State
Convention, March 4.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
THOSE WEST SIDE HYDRANTs

Those new hydrants ordered for
the West side are not intended to
to be put on new mains, but will be
given to the territory already sup
piled with piping. 1t is known that
the hydrants on the West side are
scattering and are situated far be-
tween, and these extra ones are
contracted for to fill up the skips.
Rose Hill will get a few and anoth-
er one will be placed at the Kizer
mill site, as also one for the -Four
c Mill" Fifth street will come in
for the lions share, as that street
has an 8-inch pipe running the
whole length of the street, The
outside districts will have to wait
awhile longer; but we can see no
difference, as the insurance compa-
uies charge just as much on houses
protected as on those unprotected.
We pay now one and a quarter on
the hundred and we do not believe
the price would be reduced if there
was a hydrant at every corner with
hose attached We can say to
those on the outskirts of water pro-
lection, keep your houses insured
and do not fret about water, for it
will be long time before any new
mains are laid on the West side
this is reported belief only, and you
can put it in your pipe and smoke
it or not, just as you have mind,
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
COTTON BELT BAND.

The Pine Bluff Cotton Belt) band
named in honor of the St. Louis
Southwestern railroad company,
which is a patron of the band passed
here this morning en- route to FIT.
Worth, where they 60 to make
music for the Cattlemen's Conven-
tion at that place, favored our city
with a couple of pieces of music.
There are twenty-one pieces in the
band and they play quite har-
moniously together. Pine Bluff is
justly proud of this organization
and it should be as city of the size
of the Bluff city seldom ever gathers
a band of this size together and
hold them as has Pine Bluff has done
in the past two years. The band
had telegraphed ahead for break
fast and the Cosmopolitan had
them one prepared on their arrival
here.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
-, the DtSI IdIIIIIy CdIHdI 1IO
Hoods Pills and liver stimalant. 25o.
TO THE PUBLIC.

About ten DAYS ago the Southern
Lyceum Bureau of Louisville, wrote
the Y. W. c. T. U, to know if we
could not have Max O'ROll to lecture
in Texarkana, March 49, The Us
decided to accept, provided we
could secure the Opera House. Be
fore wiring acceptance, l called on
Mr.. Harry Ehrlich to see if it was
engaged for that date, and he
said it was not. l asked if we could
secureit for that night. He signi-
fed his willingness, took down the
date and consented to post the
bills. The last thing | told him was
to consider it engaged. Immediately
wired acceptance and we proceeded
with preparations for the lecture.
Monday sent the bills to Mr..
Joe Ehrlich to print. Monday night
he sent me word from the theater
that he had printed the bills and
sent them to our rooms, but they
were no account to US as we
could not have the Opera House.
Tuesday l called on him and he
confirmed the message sent. l at
once wired the bureau to cancel
the engagement. They replied
impossible" | have written to
and received several letters from
them since. They hold US to our
contract, which is 800. The pastor
and stewards of the State Line M
E. church, have kindly proffered us
their church, for that night We
earnestly ask the friends of the
Union, and all who would enjoy this
rare literary lecture, to help us
meet this contract, and to give
themselves the treat of hearing
this world.renowned humorist, that
makes his hearers happier and
wiser by spending an evening as
his audience. JENNIE E. PEARLE,
President Y. W. c. r. U.
Texarkana, Texas.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
Federal Prisoners Escape.

The jail at Shreveport, louisiana,
is like most jails, easily broken into
or an exit made therelrom When a
tough character gets in and wants
to get out. The Jail there had d :
livery OF this kind on Friday night
two U. S. prisoners by the name
of George Hennegan and K. L. Will
liams. They left notes before they
departed, and we give them below.
They were addressed to U. S. Mar
shAl, Martin, and read as follows:
Mr.. Martin: would not have
left, but had to be punished by
staying in Jail will return when
court sits in Monroe. Respectfully
yours, E. I. WILLIAMS 70
The other was more explicit than
the first, and was as follows:
"Mr. Martin: You did not have
any case against me in the United
States court, but left on account oi
the one against me at Alexandria.
/ will try to be a better man from
this time on. got out on account
of my mother. Respectfully,
GEORGE ]. HENNEGAN. y
Williams is d tough nut, and re-
ceived several bullet wounds before
he would be arrested at juno tiOn
City, near Shreveport.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
vertiSeTnen

East of the Iron Mountain and
north of the Arkansas river is Har-
rods stronghold. He will sweep
that section practically unani-
nous. Conway Light.
Harrod is a very good man, but
he made a big mistake when he
said: IF Rothschild wrote the ma
tional Democratic platform and
the Devil is the nominee, l will vote
for him" The people are in no hu-
NOR for such talk.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
Feed and seed oats at extra low
prices, at W. H. Wells & Cos.

In the fall of 1893 a son of MIR. T.
A. Mcfarland, a prominent mer-
chant of Live Oak, Sutter Co.,
Cal, was taken with very heavy
cold The pains in his chest we're
so severe that he had spasms and
was threatened with pneumonia.
His father gave him several large
doses of Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy which broke up the cough
and cured him, Mr.. Mcfarland says
whenever his children have Group
he invariably gives the Chamber
laiu's Cough Remedy and it always
cures them He considers it the
best cough remedy in the market.
For said by Smith Drug Co,
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
Aren't They9

Legalize the primaries, -[Pine
Bluff Graphic.
Well, this takes the cake. When
every paper in Arkansas has been
publishing the acts passed by the
late State Assembly, legalizing pri-
maries, and to think paper in a
city the size of Pine Bluff is so far
behind in the laws passed by the
State, The editors should read up
State questions,
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
ELECTION PROCLAMATION.

To the voters Of the municipal city Of
Terarkana, Arkansas: -,
Notice is hereby given that there will
no a munic pal election held in the city
Of Texarkana Miller county, Arkansas,
on the first Tuesday in April, l-9. In
said election the following OF GERS are to
be voted for: Cne Mayor, one Marshal,
one CITY Attorney. one Treasurer, one Re
corder, one City Engineer, and two Alder
men for each OF the four wards OF said
CITY OF Texarkana, Arkansas.
Given under my hand this 9TH day OF
March. 1899. j. C. EDWARDS, Mayor.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09
Texas bran at 70 cents a hundred
pounds at 7. j. Hobgood's

Parents wishing their children
taught music should send to teach
ers who are here to stay, Prof.
and Mrs. T. E. McCann, teachers
of violin, mandolin, piano and vo-
cal For terms, etc, call on or ad-
dress Prof. W. W. Robertson, Tex
arkana College and Conservatory
of Music, or Alb Walnut street. If
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09

The fact that it is now only about
three months until the national
Democratic convention meets, and
there are no avowed candidates for
President to go before it, bodies
good for the party and silver. 1t
clearly shows that caution aud pru-
dence are being exercised. Let us
hope that a true "tree silver l6 to
/" Democrat will be nominated at
Chicago. If this is done success is
certain-otherwise, defeat
The Daily Texarkanian., 1896-03-09

The Forrest City Times thus
drives another nail into Clarke's
political coffin; "The Helena World
is the ablest Clarke organ" in the
state, but so far as we now remem-
ber it has not advanced single,
solitary reason why Governor Jas.
P. Clarke should be sent to the
United States Senate. It's sole
support of that gentleman thus far
consists in puny attempt to be-
smirch the character of Senator
James X, Jones. But the World
will learn, and to its sorrow, that
the parading of Senator Jones al
legged demerits before a constitu-
ency that knows him well will never
send Gov. Clarke to the Senate.