The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-01-12
QUEER PosT0FFICE NAMES.
This Republic Has Eight Kings ana
Two Queens, Three Princes and Six
kniGhts.

knights.
From the San Francisco Examiner.
Everybody knows the Postal Guide OF
the United States is full Of information.
but the picturesque features of these facts
as pointed out by a San Francisco post
Office man, are something startling. The
government postoffices named in the Guide
for the current year formed the basis OF
his remarks.
Notwithstanding the fact that this IS
a republic" said he. I'VE find that 1t con-
tains eight Kings, two Queens, one King
and Queen, one King Of Prussia, four
Monarchs, one Khedive, six knights,
eight Mobiles, three Princes and one Prin>
cess; while opposed to these are four Dem
ocrats, three Republicans and one Wing. -
Reading from a summary which he had
made Of the odd names of postofIices in
the United States, he continued:
From an agricultural point of view,
the United States has not much to brag
about, considering the fact that there are
but two Farms and three Gardens. with
five Farmers, eight Gardeners, thirteen
Changers and one Haymaker to work
them. Among the agricultural products
may be mentioned two Beans, one Pota-
to- one Pumpkin one Turnip, one Corn,
one Wheat, one Seed, to say nothing OF
Beets, Cotton Maize and two Hay Stacks.
among the small IIultS DTOuuttu may
be mentioned three Berrys, one Black
berry, four Cranberrys, one Gooseberry,
and one Pokeberry. The fact that there
are five Orchards, two Peach Orchards,
six Cherry Groves must not be
overlooked, and these may account for
the three Peach Trees, one Apple Tree,
three Crabapples, three Cherrys ana
There are nine Forests and twelve
Groves, in which may be found five Ash,
two Aspen, three Bamboo, one Balsam
fhTna Rl1nE
three Black Walnuts, six Burr oaks, two
Butternuts, six CheStnuts, five Elm, two
Frs, one Gum Tree, three blackberry
four Locust, four Hemlock, two Lotus,
six Oaks six Pine. six Poplar five Sas-
safras, four spruce, one sumac, one tam
arac, one Yew, eight WILLOWS, one Wal
nut Tree and one Bush.
at is no wonder that the ladies are so
partial to the United States when we con-
slider the fact that there are two Flow
ers, one Wildhower two Buttercups,
eleven Daisys, four Ferns, one Fern Leaf,
one Lilac one Morning Glory, four Pan
sys, five Pinks, five Primroses, four Ro-
ses, sewn Rosebuds, one Rose Bower five
Shamrccks, three Sunfiowers seven Tu-
lips three Nerbenas, four NioletS, one
Wild Rose, one Begonia and two Ar
"Anatomicany speaking, the United
States Is supplied with two Backbones,
two Elbows, three Eyes, two Fingers.
one Foot and two Hands. To Cureall its
Paines is one Medicus who can admins
ter one Panacea, one Nervine and one
Elixir; while in the case Of its two Acct
CIitshin. there are four Balms to apply
and one Water Cure.
Here you are confronted with one
Dun two Bills, one Pay Down, one Pay
Up, one Economy, one Hard Up and one
Hard Times. I'm admit that this is any
thing but pleasant, but on the other hand
we have six Banks, one Banker, five
Bonanzas, four Bullion, three Bonds, one
Hard Money, two Money one Golden Ea-
gle, two FIorins, one Dollar, one Quarter,
two Dimes three Nickels and two Pence.
with one Dime Box and two Safes to keep
them in and our spirits are correspond
ingly raised.
at is pleasant to contemplate that we
are not without other treasures. There
are eight Diamonds, two Black Diamonds,
seven Gems, five Emeralds, one Gold, one
Gold Dust, one Golden Ring, two Rings,
two Agates, two OpaIs. twelve Pearls, one
Topaz and four Ambers.
'Despite the large population accredited
IN fine limited States by the superintendent
~ the census these records prove that
there is only one Man. one Boy. two Kids.
one Shaver one Family and two Peoples.
There are, however. five Benedicts to
three Bachelors and one Widows. With
one Matrimony 1t is possible to find but
a single Bride and no Groom. Two Hosts
make it pleasant for four Friends and one
'aThe reputation Of the United States as
a fruit growing country is poorly main
tanned by the postal records. 1t contains
only one Fruit six Grapevines, one Grape,
fourteen Dates, two Lemons, fourteen
oranges, one Peach, two Pineapples. two
Plums. one Red Apple and four Strawber-
ries in this connection II is proper also
10 mention two Peanuts, one Pecan, ten
Walnuts and four Acorns.
INSTEAD of being o country Of magnii-
cent distances, we find that the United
states has only sixteen Acres, one Furlong
and three Miles. The alphabet is well
represented in the list. with one A. b. c.,
three Ais, one r., three o. K, one +. X,
one r r.. one Y. u. and two Aitches, not
to mention fourteen Alphas, twelve One
gas and two Betas; while numerically we
ind two No. J. one No. 4. one Seven, one
Nine Times, one Fourteen one Thirty
nine one Forty-eight, three Seventy-six,
one Eighty-four, one Eighty-eight, one
Ninety-six and one Million.
'sThere are four Damons but no Pythias;
two Dams and one Beersheba, FIVE Darbys
to one JOAN
The disciples of Izaak Walton should not
complain, for there is a Fish Pond, Carp
Lake, three Fish Creeks, and twelve