Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-11-19
We've crossed the stormy ocean, FOR VIC
had n kind NJ notion

mad kind o. notion
TO ind how many beans make five.
We arrove but yesterday
the purls,
you'll pardon me, conductor" The
nrst violin signs and taps the desk be-
lore him with his bow, and the orches-
ira stops awkwardly "You won't mind
my mentionln' somethin'." The eldest
girl leans down confdentially. This
Is a song that we're singln' Of"
The first violin says, with some irony,
that he has guessed that from the way
the ladies opened their mouths.
Thought from the way your band
was playin' that they might ave
looked on 1t as a kind Of handicap race,
lts not! It's Jest a song, and we all
start FAIR Now that we've got prop
er understanding about this, we'll go
on afresh."
The three ladies from America are a
sore and bitter trial to the first violin,
and he gives a sigh of obvious relief
When the conductor with another ci-
gar) returns. The conductor adopts
different manner-a decided manner.
Look here, you young NEWCOMERS"
says the conductor, briskly, your
songs all right; you'll find 1t go like
no, no; let me finish what I'm saying,
please-you'll find your songs go as
smoothly as anything. Don't worry us
any more" says the conductor, there's
good girls, because there's others walt
ing; and IL we give up all the morn
ing to you, why, naturally enough no
one else will get chance"
These English musicmongers," says
the eldest of the three. accepting the
returned band parts-for the somber
boy does not seem to think 1t worth
his while to reappear-"make me
tired"
A very fine figure Of a matronly lady,
who has been looking on impatiently
at the wings and muttering to herself
comes now to the front and gives a
glance that indicates annoyance at the
three American ladies, who are pre-
pairing reluctantly to leave.
Thought they were going to stay the
week." says the fine figure OF a lady
to the orchestra. Seemed to have
taken quite fancy to the place. They
remind me of "a"
"And what are we going to try over
for you?" interrupts the conductor.
Don't mean to say you're going to give
'em something fresh?"
"It's all the guv-nor's fault. He's
been Fostering me to put on a new
song; says the public wants it. AS 1
told him, years ago I used to sing the
same old songs for "a"
well, come on" urges the conduct
or, impatiently. I'm beginning to feel
peckish." He opens the book before
him with amazement. "You don't
mean to say-you don't mean to tell
me that you've been to this chap for
it? Why, I've got song Of mine at
home now that would suit you How
ever, you know your own business best.
Hurry up!
It is an arch, satirical. serio-comic
song that the lady gives to the band,
1t as one who, knowing |
that her voice is not what 1t was, con-
siders 1t wise to use it sparingly and |
to reserve its strength for imperial oc-
casions. It Is for this reason little
difficult to catch the words Of the |
but the refrain Is more obvious,
because in this the orchestra, much to
it's annoyance, is forced to bear part.
The lady, shaking a yellow-gloVed
forefinger at the dim, vacant audito-
rum, whispers with affected severity
Of manner:
You men are so backward and so awk-
ward and so shy.
The orchestra shouts sulkily;
No we amt; no we amt.
If we maidens but glance at you, you
are all inclined to cry.
The orchestra. as before:
No we amt; no we amt.
D, you are so goody-goody and you are
so very mild.
l b'lieve you are as innocent and
guileless as a child;
You're all so chicken-'earted that you
nearly drive us wild.
The orchestra, with increased mo-
roseness:
No we amt: no we amt.
There are so many verses of this, and
he lady is so anxious that the orches-
ra shall, in their responses, touch per-
ection that the conductor at the stroke
If the hour from deep-voiced clock
,ut in the street, is forced to interpose.
There's such a thing as chop"
says the conductor precisely, taking
he violin pad from his shoulder, land
here's such o thing as small bottle
If stout. And if you ask me, I'm