Evening star., 1896-06-06
THE BOWSERS' TROUBLES
Written for The Evening Star by NJ. Quad.

| Written for The Evening Star by NJ. Quad.
A good many little adventures happened
| while the family were getting settled in the
| farm house, but on the whole Mr.. Bowser
behaved fairly well. A week had passed
| when he said to Mrs. Bowser one morning:
well, I'm going to put in a big days
work today. I've got to work Off some of
this surplus fat and harden up. think I'll
| tackle the grass first. There ought to be a
moving machine around somewhere
| You mean scythe,'' she said.
DO I? Well, It's all the same thing
think there's one hanging up in the barn.
Think of it, Mrs Bowser--the merry, mer-
ry farmer. whistling as he sharpens his
scythe In the green meadow! I'll sharpen.
| III whistle I'll have the scent of this new
mown hay blown all over this country be-
fore the clock strikes 10. Wasn't it glori-
Gus Idea Of mine-rentins this farm for the
| summer? just hear that bluebird warbling
| his lay, will you!'
That's crow cawing," said Mrs. Bow
| ser, after listening
might have lived in town for nifty years
and never heard a crow trill.
| Cant we have Strawberries for dinner?
Green said there were enough on the place
| for big family"
| Il have looked the yard over, and there
! Is Just one strawberry vine. If that bears
| any fruit between now and dinner time I'll
| have 1t on the table. He told you there
| were oceans Of currants but l can't find
| any bushes"
| "Bushes!' exclaimed Mr.. Bowser. do
| you expect to find currants growing on
| bushes! thought you were brought up on
farm"
Where do they grow" she asked
| do you see that bed out there? Well,
| when It's time for cCrrantS We'll have 'em
| by the bushel. There you go! What are
| you grinning at now?"
That Is bed Of burdocks out there"
| she laughed
"Burdocks! Never! Never in all this
| world! l was jumping over burdocks as
| boy before you saw the light Of day. You
may think they are burdocks Mrs Bow
| ser. but what you don't know about farm
| ing would fill a mighty big book. Don't
| you worry about currants-Ill see that We
have 'em by the barrel. Now, then, to
| sharpen my scythe."
There was scythe hanging up In the
| barn and Mr.. Bowser lugged 1t up to the
| house and spent half an hour looking for
something to sharpen 1t with There was
| nothing better than brickbat and he
| worked away with that and whistled "Y an
kee Doodle" until he thought he had work
ed up an edge. While he was working and
| whstl.ng farmer who was driving along
| the road stopped to ask:
| Hello. Eaybur. Gittin' ready for haydn -
That's what I am" replied Mr.. Bowser
..EIn know all about mowin', spose.'
"Oh. nuthin'. / kinder thought you did
from the way you sharpened that scythe
Coin to hev a fine day Of it, by the looks
of things"
What was he saying?' asked Mrs. Bow
ser as she came out and the farmer had
| driven along
He'd never seen scythe sharpened with
| brickbat before, I guess replied Mr..
| Bowser. That's what the ancents used
altogether. Old Pliny and Socrates and
Dogenes would have laughed to a man
use MILESTONE Does the thing look all
| right to your
Yes but don't believe you ever handled
a scythe in all your life
You don't eh?" he growled. as he rolled
up his shirt sleeves. You may believe what
you want to. but when ! begin throwing
| grass over the house you'll take back seat
| Never handled a scythe, eh? Perhaps your
| States who ever sent ton Of hay to mar
ket. If you don't want that boy cut in two
at the first clip, get him ont Of the way!
| Young Bowser was pulled out of the grass
and seated the doorstep. and as Mir.
| Eowser spat on his hands and fiourished
! the scythe around, Mrs Bowser retreated.
Mr.. Bowser made three or four motions to
get the hang of the thing" and then drew
! long breath and made tremendous
| swipe at the grass before him. He remem-
| bered enough about moving to recollect
tnat a mower should utter hui and
| give sort Of a squat as he swung the
scythe The 'hu'' all right and the
squat" fairly up to the mark. but the point
of the scythe stuck into the ground instead
Bowser's grip on the handles that he lost
his equilibrium and tumbed over himself
and went head first into the tangle His
hat was jammed down over his eyes. his
| mouth was filled with stuff. and as he got
| up with Mrs Bowsers help while young
| Bowser began to howl in dismay, he
Jumped up and down and shouted:
| Woman! This Is your doings, and by the
| whiskers of my great grandfather, I'll get
| even with you for it,
why, what did 1 do?" asked Mrs Bow
| ser.
Never you mind-I see through 1t all!
| Suppose I'd fallen on the blade and cut my
throat! Was that your little plan?"
I'm sure IL"
you get into the house. and the boy with
| you! l know what you did When I made
| that stroke you grabbed my leg and threw
| me down.
Mrs. Bowser and her only son disap-
peared. and. after picking up the scythe
| and looking it all over and taking a rest for
ten minutes, Mr.. Bowser sought out a new
| place to begin. He moistened his hands
again. looked around a the house and then
| started in as before. The 'hu!' and the
! squat" worked up. tiptop. but instead of
entering the grass. the blade "swiped''
along in the air. with the result that Mr.
| Bowser was turned clear around with the
momentum, and the point Of the scythe
| struck the only shade tree on the place and
| was broken off short. At the same time
| one Of the handles Of the scythe hit him in
the stomach and left him gasping for
| DIedtll, ana as ne sank down he thought
| rather than gasped:
| IF l don't get even with Mrs Bowser for
| this. may l never see another sunrise"
| Note.-Mr. Bowser may make dismal
| failure as mowist. but when he cones to
hold the plow he'll show Mrs. Bowser and
the neighbors that he's no spring chicken.
! The Modern COachman.
| From London Tid-Bs.
you advertised for a coachman, sir?
said the applicant
| Il did" replied the merchant, I'D you
want the place?"
| Yes, sir"
| Have you had any experience?"
Il have been in the business all my life -
You are used to handling ga.olinel
| them
| Yes. sir"
and you are well up in electricity"
| Thoroughly. J
Good! OF course, you are a maclinis J.
| also?'
! 'Certainly"
And I presume you have an engineer
| certificate?'
| 'Of course"
Every well. You may go round %
nd GOT tha