davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
Easily Accounted For.

Professor-The fact that men when
lost in the woods describe circle in
stead of proceeding in straight line,
shows that one leg is longer than the
other. How is such a phenomenon ac-
counted for?
Smart Student-By the fact that the
leg pulling process is universal.-Arti in
Dress.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
AS Others See Us.

Englishman Ito fair American tour
ist)-Well, I suppose none of this Swiss
scenery will compare with your Nj
dgara.
Fair American (with some embaT-
rassment)-Tve never seen Niagara.
thought that you were married wom-
an.-Bay City Chat.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
Its Value.

"You have some very valuable prop
erty, believe" said the tall man, care
lessly-
The little man looked Mt him sharply.
THAT depends" he said.
depends on what?''
'On whether you want to buy it or
assess it."-Chicago Post
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
His nIasterpiece.

How did Daubs save himself when
that leap-year girl got after him oSt in
the country?"
"Oh, he painted bargain counter ON
a high-board fence, and while she was
gazing at it, he got away."-Louisyille
Courier-Journal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

In the Far Southwest.
Mrs. Colt (wife of Col. Colt, of Texas)
AS I was going by Turner's this morn
ing, John, heard Jim Bluff say that if
justice had its due you'd have adorned
u telegraph pole long ago.
Col. Colt (springing up from the
dinner tablc)-Jim Bluff, you say? Let
Wife-Now, John, please finish your
dinner. The shooting will keep.-Bay
CITY Chat
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

why is Dawson painting his house
such yermillion red 2"
He thinks it will look SO warm this
s1mmer no one will want to visit there
Detroit Free Press.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
In the Suburbs.

"Your husband painted the house this
spring himself, didn't hep
We'll, yes, suppose he got some of
the paint on the house, but you wouldn't
think so if you could see his clothes''-
Chicago Post.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
A Mutual Disappointment.

81 was SO disappointed 1 was out the
ether day when you called. Miss Per-
cival."
$50 was 1. 1 felt sure I'd find you.
because when l turned the corner, Z
saw you go in."-Harper's Bazar
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

Landlady-Wouldn't you like cup
of coffee, Mr.. Snoberly? 1t is nice and
fresh.
Mr.. Snoberly-Yes, madam, when I'm
through with my steak Business first,
YOU know.-TeAas Sitter.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
Wrong Way Round.

Spencer-Who was it wrote Men
must work and women must weep?"
Ferguson-Forgotten But it's good.
Spencer-Ruobish! Women more
often weep when meE don't work.-N.
" World
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
Really Wonderful.

Mrs. Flatbush-Did you have an ac-
cident coming up on the trolley to-
night, dear?
Mr. FIatbush-Yes; we didn't run
over anybody.-Yonkers Statesman
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
That Terrible BOY.

Boy-Ain't sister and you going for
a ramble this afternoon?
Suitor-We are, sonny; but why do
you ask?
Boy-Because sisters had the corn
doctor here all the morning.-Water-
bury.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

What a very modest little house the
Ms live in"
Il should say so; why, even the doors
are shrinking."-Brookl Life.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
A Roundabout Rea.o

A ROundabout Reason.
How fortunate it is that young Pink's
whiskers are SO becoming
why SOP"
because he never has the price of .
shave."-Clevela1d Plain Dealer.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
A Purchase.

FloOf-walker-Did Mrs. Upton buv
that last piece of organdie?
Saleswoman - No, Mrs. DowntOn
bought it.
Floor-walker-Why, thought 1
heard her say before Mrs. Upton came
in that she didn't like it.
Saleswoman--She did say so.
Floor-walker-Then why did she take
it?
Saleswoman Because Mrs. Upton
wanted it.-Chicago Record.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
Before the Collection

A colored pastor IN Texas demanding
his salary, is reported to have said
'Brudren I can't preach heah and
boa'd in Heb'n-"-Tit-Bits.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

Lord Byron had favorite dog.
NBoatswain," which is buried in tha
garden at Newstead abbey.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

has always been regulated by the wife:
and the ease and grace with which she
entertains visitors. whenever her health
permits, are pleasant to contemplate.
The Mckinley home is cheerful,
rather old-fashioned mansion, taste
fully furnished and conveniently ar
ranged. Like it's occupants, it is solid
and substantial. The lawn surrounding g
it is spacious and neatly kept, and hand
some trees add not little to the attrac-
tiveness of the place. Should the Nc
Kinleys be destined to dwell in the white
house their thoughts will. no doubt,
often go back. regretfully, to the pretty
Canton house.
Both Maj. and Mrs. Mckinley are
members of the Methodist Episcopal
church of Carton. and have always
taken a deep interest in its prosperity
as well in all hums unitarian and re-
Hgious movements Both are fond of
good books and art, two of the chief
treasures of their home being a choice
collection of pictures and statuary
WILLIAM WALTER WELLS.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

Ardent Lover-If you could see my
heart, Belinda, you would know how
fondly-
Up-to-Date Girl (producing Roentgen
camera)-I intend to see it, George.
Sit still, please.-Collicr's Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
Wanted a Change.

The two small boys who wanted to
fight Indians had gotten some distance
from home The romance had dwin-
died. and n encouragement which
neither liked to confess had taken pos
session
Look here" said one of them at last,
'I've been playin' I'm Sierra Sam for
two days now. haven't II"
Yes. was the reply.
"Well, I'm kind o tired O. that game
think I'll play I'm the prodigal SON.
Golden DAYS
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20

Professor-What's the difference be-
tween idealism and realism?
Varsity Girl-Idealism is when you
contemplate matrimony.
Professor-Yes, and realism?
Girl-You get that afterwards
Judy.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1896-06-20
In the Far southve.t.

wanted it.-Chicago Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08

The Grand Trunk Railway System
have a magnificent new Pullman YES
tibuled train which viii be put in ser
vice on June a, and known as the
seaside and White Mountain Special
is nearer a palace on wheels than any
other train ever run to those famous
nd popular resorts. The entire train
is vestibuled from end TO end, lighted
bv electricity and will consist Of
library. Chair and Smoking car. also
containing a barber shop and bath
room a Dining car, four magnificent
Sleeping cars. each containing twelve
sections drawingRnd toilet rooms for
ladies and gentlemen, and q sumptous
library and Observation car in the rear
81 the train. This magnificent train
win run through the tourist season Of
1896. making ten trips in all. Further
Information on application to L. r.
Morrow, city Ticket Agent, 103 Clark
street. Chicago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
Daring Minnesota Bank Rob-
bers Escape on Bicycles.
Enter Sherburne Bank, Shoot
Cashier and Another.
MOST COLD FLOODED.
The Dead Men Had Made No Re
sistance.
Bandits Secured 81, 900, Mount
ed Bicycles and Rode Away.

Fairmont. MINI, Oct S-Two mask
ed ana bicycle mounted robbers swept
into the little town of SherDurne, IA
miles from here yesterday, dashed into
the bank at Sherburne, murdered the
cashier and a bystander and secured
$1,000 from the cash tray. mounted
their wheels and escaped before the
eyes Of the startled villagers
The affair was conducted with all
the bravadO of the border drama and
the killing of two men, one of whom
died instantly, was purely wantOn, as
neither made any resistance
The dead:
J. A OERSTERN. travelling agent of
the Walter A. Wood Harvester compa-
ny, shot through the heart
CASHIER THORBURN, shot in the
head
The crime is paraneIed only by the
raid of Jesse James and the Younger
boys when they sWoOped down upon
the little town of NOrthfield.a few miles
north of the scene of yesterdays crime,
shot the cashier of the bank of North
field down and decamped with a large
amount Of money. In that instance the
robbers departed on horses, whereas
yesterday the criminals in keeping
with the times, used bicycles in es-
Gaping from the enraged citizens Of
Sherburne.
AT about 1890 O'Clock two masked
men walked through the front entrance
of the bank to the cashiers box, and
volveTs and leveled them at Cashier
Thorburn- The latter did not move,
but the next minute the report of the
revOlvers rang out and Cashier Thor
burn fell at his desk. At another desk
in the bank stood Oerstern. a travelling
man. He was the only immediate bar
to the end which the robbers sought
TO gain, and as Thorburn fell, they
turned and shot him dead
As rapidly as possibly they Ieaped
over the railing and secured $1,000 in
cash They then ran for the back door
Of the bank where they had taken the
precaution to leave their bicycles.
mounted them and rode away
It all happened inside Of two minutes
and the only witness to the deed was a
woman who stood across the street
from the front entrance of the bank
and was attracted by the report of the
revOlvers. She saw them turn on Ger
stern, secure the money and decamp.
As soon as possible she gave the
alarm and in five minutes after the
deed had been committed the little
town Of Sherhurne was in q state OF
excitement such as never before was
through the heart and had apparently
been Instantly killed Thorburn lived
two hours. having received bullets in
several different parts of his body
The town of Sherburne contains
scarcely a score more than 300 iuha BIZ
tants. but inside of ten minutes several
posses had been formed. including
nearly every male citizen Of the town.
and a search was at once Instituted
the slightest possibility of the robbers
visiting in II, ir efforts to escape had
been warned. and their capture is ex-
pected at any minute
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
MIR. M'KIRAHAN's. IDEAS
On Next Years Fau Festival Some
Suggestions.
o the Editor Of The State Journal.


To the Editor of The State Journal
The benefits from a moral, financial,
patriotic. artistic and civic standpoint
which the late Festival and Reunion
brought to US are greater than We ap-
preciate. The fact that there is a very
general desire for another eff the same
shows that it payed in every respect
The old soldier boys viii sing the
praises of Topeka as long as they live
Iheir royal treatment viii add ten years
to their lives They were coming TO
feel that nobody cared for them any
more-that they were not appreciated
but now they know that a loyal people
still remem Der with practical gratitude
their services to their country. I was
among them considerably during the
week, and never heard such strong ex-
pressions Of appreciation for Topeka S
they uttered Many were here for the
first time in their lives and freely said
that nQ city could dc better than we
had done Shall it be repeated2 Can
we 90 a. we'll again2 Most assuredly.
M may not get the state reunion. but
may hold a reunion all the same Other
places dol Baxter Springs, Arkansas
City, Concordia and other places hold
reunions independent OF the state as
SOCiA tlOu- III is not possible to get all
to attend at one place Topeka is well
located for an association of three con
gressional districts Let them get to-
gether, organize an association. secure
q twenty year lease OF our fair grounds,
fix them UP with barracks and halls
and hold reunion here every year.
The old soldier viii disappear in q few
years. and we ought to make it pleas
ant for him while we have him. To-
gether with the annual reunion could
be held our festival and tournaments.
besides an exposition in the first floor
of the state house
The success of the late horticultural
display shows what can be done on
larger scale. The next legislature viii
probably make it possible for our ma
ti0nal guard to hold an encampment-
Let there be college and school re-
unions, legislative and political reun-
ions, church and secret order reunions,
as well as that of the old soldier Let
All our decorations and float material
be carefully preserved and plans set 60
ing for next year We need not try
to excel this year. If we do as well
we VIII do enough. New features viii
be thought Of. new plans suggested.
new managers discovered, and by
spring the affair will be all arranged
10 detail This years effort was ex
detrimental. our future endaaVors viii
be more mature. Instead of a com
mittee of fifteen to manage. let there
be thirty. representing every possible
interest and enterprise
Let one day be set apart for a music
parade in which every musical organ
ization church and order can take
part-a sort of Saugerfest on a large
scale In planning for next year the
Did soldier should not be left out Lei
him come. Give him a chance and he
VIII come. Fort Riley viii send Us
militia. while in our schools and col
leges we can organize military com
panies for occasion
NJ. f. AckIRAHAN.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
DRAGON TWO BLOCKS LONG.
Kansas City Has a Bigger One Than
Topeka's

lFr0m the Kansas City Start
The happiest person in town last
night was the lad who carried the end
IA the dragons tail which was the END
the great parade as well. The dragon
was new thing; it was startIinslN
grotesque and monstrous- Women held
up their babies to be frightened by it
and grown UP people howled their ap-
prevail of it. The head of the monster
rested on the largest dray that could
be found in town. The head was
hideous nightmareish, combination of
hobgoblin. sea serpent and dragon Its
mouth was opened wide, and from its
nostrils fiery sparks belched. This fiery
display was worked by two men inside
the large head. The body of the dragon
was formed of forty large hoops over
which canvas was stretched which fell
down even with the pavement. hiding
the forty men inside carrying the hoops
along The canvas skin Of the brute
was painted green and red and the
scales were made of tinseL Lights
hung from the hoops inside and made
the skin of the serpent luminous. It
stretched almost two blocks in length
and it looked remarkably serpent-llhe
as it coiled around street corners.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
GOOD TEMPLARS FINISH
Their Work by EIscting Omcers-C
a. Bateman, Chief Templar.

The thirTy-seventh annual meeting of
the independent Order of Good Tenn
plars of Kansas closed with the session
yesterday afternoon. and many OF the
delegates returned to their homes last
night The executive committee held
q meeting this morning for the purpose
of planning the work Of the order for
the next year.
The following officers were elected at
the session yesterday afternoon.
Grand chief templar, Major A. O.
Bateman of Lawrence. Grand counsel
Ior H. F. Wing, kinca1d. vice temDlar.
Lizzie G. Simth. Lawrence; grand sec
rotary. George F. Fu1lenVvider F,ld0-
IA do. grand superintendent of juvenile
templars Mrs. c. E. Jones. Toronto:
grand treasurer. Phil /. keener. Scam
MON grand chaplain Miss May Lamb.
clyde grand marshal. Miss Cora Nc
Laughlin. Bronson; grand guard. Mrs
Josie r. NIcHenrys Cheney grand sen
tinel W. o. Raub, DelphOss grand mes
senger. H. F. Poole. Parker grand as
sistant secretary, Miss Kate Pine, Law
renee; grand deputy marshal, r. c.
Miller. Tor0ntos p. G. c. Il, Joseph F.
Culver. Enporia.
Major c. A Bateman of Lawrence
and Mrs. O. f. Jones of Toronto We're
elected delegates to the International
supreme lodge Of Good Tamplars, which
meets at Zurich, Switzerland and
George f. Fullenwider Of Eldorad0 and
Mrs f. i. Wing Of KIncaid elected al
ternates.
lit was decided to hold the next meet
Ing Of the grand lodge AL Eldorado.
kan
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
NINETY PEOPLE IN LINE.
When the Sale of Mansfield Seats Be
gan Today.

When the reserved seat chart for
Richard EIansfeld's performance of a
Partisan Romance Monday evening
opened at the ROWley drug store this
morning at 9 o'clock there were ninety
people IN line and by noon the first
floor was well cleaned out, even at the
advanced price. There are still some
good seats left. however. and there will
be several box parties of society peo-
pie.
Mr. Mansfield is in Omaha this week
and the papers there are loud in their
praise of the elegance with which the
plays already produced have been put
on Mr. Mansfield has never played
"A Partisan Romance" here. People
are requested to remember the opera
house rule that patrons viii not be
ted while an act is in progress. This
is something that Mr.. Mansfield him
self insists on. and Topeka people know
the actor well enough TO know that his
wishes are carried out to the letter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
WHEEL FOR 25.
Bicycle Being Built to Go so Miles al
Hour

New York. Oct Snow they promise
Us the bicycle for twenty-five.
The tWenty-fi ve-seated wheel is under
construction by the Herald Cycle com
pany for the Nynuke Bicycle club of
Brooklyn, of which Jas. Cfeissinger is
president. Mr.. CTeissinger had trouble
in finding any one willing to undertake
the construction of his giant The BIZ
cycle architects all shouted: "Impossi-
hler and refused to bid on the work.
Finally he induced the Herald company
t0 build the machine a a cost of $500
other makers had said the job would
cost 1900.
The twenty -five-seated wheel viii be
guaranteed for two years, barring
punctures and injuries due to acct
dents. The length viii be twenty-five
feet No. 2 sea nless tubing viii be
used. The wheels viii be thirty inches
in diameter and three and a half inch
hosepipe tires viii be used. The front
gear viii be 100 and the rear gear 6S.
on the rear wheel the indirect gear viii
be used, the same as that adopted for
modern fire trucks. Thus the twenty
NTH man, who viii occupy the rear
seat. Will be steersman and VIII control
the big flyer in the same fashion as the
steersman on hook and ladder truck.
With fifty stout legs punching the
pedals it is believed that a speed of
eighty miles an hour VIII be possible
II so. the Empire State Express will
certainly not be lin it," and man win
at last be a Die TO beat steam at its best.
The machine Will be two feet wide
and rugged in the double tandem style
that is. two riders side by side. The
total weight will be so pounds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
0MAHA'S CRANK.
Judge C. R. Scott Again Exhib-
its His Ears.
The Judge Who Chaps All Who
Offend linn
INTO THE COUNTYJAIL
For Contempt, Refuses to Grant
Citizenship Papers
Because Applicant Can't Name
Number of Representatives.
In Each and Every State in the
Union.

Omaha, Oct. s.-Merchant Rosenbloom
of Omaha was today refused his citi-
zenship papers in the district court be-
cause he could not name the number Of
representatives each state has in con-
gress. c. R Scott. who has obtained
more or less notoriety through his ar
bitrary course on the bench, presided
ROsenblOOm was subjected to a Sc
we're fire Of cross questioning, but an
swered correctly as to the manner Of
electing the president Of this country,
the requirements of a foreign citizen
desiring to become naturaHzed, the
number OF senators and representa-
tives in congress and the number Of
senators and representatives Nebras-
ka has in congress, but when asked to
name the number of representatives
each state has in congress he was
stumped. He offered to name some OF
them, but this was not satisfactory to
the court.
Becoming somewhat indignant, Ros-
enbloom exclaimed: Il am only a plain
business man, your honor and do not
have time to- study up all these cues
tons"
That does not make any difference"
haughtly replied the court. If PEG
pie do not know any more about the
requirements than you do, they should
never have been naturalized g"
The court closed the book with a
slam and curtly informed the applicant
that he talked too much and could not
get his papers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
90 FTSION In TEXAS.
Republicans Put Up a Straight Ticket
Without Joining Populists.

Dallas, Tex, Oct. S-The plenary com
mittee of the Republican party of Tex
as, at its session put out a full presi-
Dental electoral ticket headed by P B
Hunt and George G. Clifford, electors
at large. In the struggle for delegates
to St. Louis last March, resulting in
two state conventions at Austin, known
as the Quincy" and Grant" cOnven-
lions each faction nominated two pres
idential electors at large and the plen-
airy committee harmOnized matters by
selecting Nominee Hunt of the Grant
convention, and Clifford of the Quincy
convention. The district elect
ors VINO were nominated by their
respective district conventions were all
approved with the exception of Col
Robt. F. Campbell OF FL PasO, in the
Thirteenth, or jumbo district, who
was substituted by the committee for
J. G. Lowden Of Abilene, who as a ma
tionaI bank director, was found ineligi-
BILE
All Of the fifteen named are well
known and pronounced Republicans
There are therefore, four full hedged
electoral tickets in the field in Texas,
at this date. Republican, PopuIst, Free
Silver Democrats and Gold Democrats
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
NICHOLSON NOTES.
Personals and Notes Among the En-
ployes of the Santa Fe.

Personals and N otes Among the En-
plCyes of the Santa E'e.
From Our Special Correspondent
Agent j. WI Cole IS absent from duty
On account Of sickness.
Engineer John e. Miller and wife Of
Newton, have gone Cd Leavenworth for
a visit Of two weeks with relatives
Switch engine 5S5. recently turned out
of the shop. has been sent to Emporia
for service in the yards at that point
The pile driver which has been on the
Strong City line for six weeks. has been
transferred to the Great Bend line
where a number OF the bridges viii be
repaired.
General Foreman W S Grandy and
wife left Tuesday for visit of ten
days with friends and relatives at Kal-
amazoo and Jackson Mich
Car Repairer Daniel Ashton. accom-
panied by his daughter, has gone to
Joliet, III. to visit friends and relatives
for two weeks Mr.. Ashton expects to
attend the reunion of his old regiment
while away.
Engineer William H. Tamplin has
been assigned to engine 101. on trains
367 and 36S. out Of Nickerson. which
was made vacant by the death Of En-
gineer Alex Yoakum Engineer "a. A..
Quinby from Great Bend takes the run
vacated by Engineer TampMn atHutch-
inson-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1896-10-08
GEN. G. H. SHERIDAN DEAD.
Known as Republican Orator and
For His Attacks on Ingerso1L

Washington. Oct 9.-News has been
received here of the death yesterday
at the Soldiers home. Hampton. Va.
of General George H. Sheridan. who
was for years a notable figure in poll
tics and ranked high as a Republican
orator He had fine record as a sol
der in the volunteer army and was for
one term recorder of deeds in the Dis
trict Of Columbia
Since his retirement from office he
has figured on the lecture stage, mainly
in attacks upon Ingersolls religious
theories. OF late years declining health
and impaired faculties obliged him to
seek refuge in the National Soldiers
home at Hampton, and he fell a vic
tim to softening of the brain.