davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1896-03-01

The Bridgeport Bachelors Club en-
ter,ained their friends with a dance
in the Opera House Thursday evening,
for which excellent music was pro
vided 10y Killmeyer. Il was the event
C, The week in Bridgeport society.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1896-03-01

Miss Jeanette Mayors very pleasant
lv entertained the Island Leap Year
Club Friday evening at her home ON
Kentucky street The meetings Of
This organization have been delightful
and that of last week was one of the
most notable
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
HIS NAME WAS JONES'.
How the Senator From Nevada Fooled n
Young Clerk.

How the Senator From Nevada Fooled a
Young Clerk.
a tall man in black clothes of no
particular style entered q Broadway
jewelry shop the other day and asked to
see watch. The clerk, sizing him ND
for poor country parson who would be
well rid of, produced n $500 timepiece
rs discourager. The stranger looked it
over and asked to see something better.
Winking to the cashier, the clerk reached
for specially made chronometer, the
price Of which he felt would be a
squelcher. The seedy man examined the
watch and inquired its value
Zone thousand dollars" said the
bright clerk.
''Ah," observed the customer. "Let
me see chain, please" So.
An expensive chain was produced,
and then the visitor selected valuable
charm which had been made for exhibi-
ton only. The stranger stuck the jew
elry into his vest pocket, and the clerk,
fearing that he might have entertained
thief. kept close to the suspect, who
quietly flshed out big roll Of bills and
placed two thousand dollar gold certifl-
Gates upon the counter. Utterly feazed,
the salesman remarked that it was GUS
tomary to keep the names Of customers
to identify goods if lost by purchasers
MY name is JONES'" said the stran-
ger. Senator Jones of Nevada. You
may address me at the capitol" And
the silver senator. taking the change for
his gold certificates departed
York Sum.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
It is
Well 10 Board

At a comfortable place
even if it takes all of your
salary; it is better to rent
a dwelling even if you, the
agent and the owner are
made unhappy by your con-
slant demands for repairs;
it is best to own the house
you lire in, have your own
flowers and garden and
make Improvements on your
own property and not for
some one else, and by
reading the list of property
in this column you will see
that you can do this:
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
THIS BEATS RAlNES LAW.
Hereafter No Wheelman Need Go Thirsty
at Any Time.

Hereafter No WheeIman Noed Go Thirsty
at Any Time.
d. A. Sammis, the secretary Of the
Liberty wheelmen of Brooklyn, is the
inventor Of the bicycle bar and contriv-
ance by which the Raines law is rem
dered imperative.
Mr.. Sammis has had few changes
made in the hollow center bar of his
''bike. " By arranging a little faucet
near the bottom and projecting cylin-
der near the top, providing himself with
a funnel and cup, he can pour pint
of whisky into the improvised storage
tank. screw down nickel cap on top to
make 1t alright and start out for Sun.
day run with the comforting thought
that twist of the miniature faucet is
all that Is necessary to bring forth a
drink New York Journal.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07

Whenever have toasted the ladies /
have always preached the inviolability
of the marriage tie as consistently as
I've advocated the cause of protection,
although read an account last week Of
where man on the east side struck
down his wife with huge picture
frame that hung over the bed, on one
end of which was carved in large raised
letters the touching inscription, God
Bless Our Home a curious detail in
connection with the man who wanted
tho pass was that he was an Irishman.
Irishmen rarely apply for divorces, but
they do for passes. He told me that he
had been at one time in the British ar
my, and when looked at the fellow
could not help recalling the bull which
Sir George Campbell perpetrated once
when he asserted that the pale face Of
the British soldier is the backbone of
our Indian army He said that he had
been in Jameson's raid into the Trans
yaal
What said !, AN IrishmanT
Yis, Misther Depew, The answered,
but shure we were flghtin the Dutch
And did you do any fghtinga'
Well, sir, to tell you the truth, I
had enough Of that with the Guild wom-
an We only made believe we were
fighting, and when got back, although
was color sergeant, mind you, she
whit away, and never saw her until
about year ago, when I met her here
in New York
This mans request was 30 entirely
original that I ordered some INQUIRIES
made about him, and found that his
story was correct, with the exception of
his account Of his wife, which abound
ed in what a French writer has described
as vehement reaction against the des-
potism of fact'''
Did he get the pass2"
His audacity in calling again so IN
manned me that began seriously to
consider hisrequest. Did you read Poet
Laureate Austin's poem, said I, 'on
Jameson's rider
No, sir, said he
We'll. said I, amy Transvaal rider
who hasn't read that doesn't deserve a
divorce, doesn't deserve q pass on the
New York Central, doesn't deserve to
live"
The voice Of the great orator almost
unconsciously became one continual Gre
scendo, and as he ceased speaking he
turned again to the long distance tele-
phone and asked Central this time to
give him Boston.
''The laureate's poem on jameson 8
ride must have impressed you," OBJ.
served the reporter.
Impressed me, sir! Why, it did
more 1t fmpacted me, if might coin
a word-took me off my feet, laid me
fiat on my back-knocked me down, in
n word Just think Of the closing stanza
in all probability one of the most pa
thetic and profound inspirations that
ever touched the hearts Of men with the
power Of song:
"wrong. was it, Wrong2 Well. maybe
Still think at the Judgment day,
When God Sits the good from the bad men,
There'n be something moro to soy.
There" he echoed, rs he said good
by to tho telephone and goodby to the
reporter, "that ought to do for one day. +"
New York Recorder
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
The Mayors SALARY.

The mayor of Flint, Mich, performs
the duties of his office without compen-
sat1on other than the satisfying sense of
having done his duty. But the mayor
who retired last week had directed the
affairs of the town so we'll during his
year of Office that the common council
unanimously voted to make an appro-
priation for him as an especial mark Of
satisfaction. The sum was 81.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07

Nice Groom dwelling with dining
room and kitchen in the basement,
bath room, good stable and carriage
house, very near the center of the
town. Price $1.250; one-third cash,
balance on long time.
Large S-room house, cost 90, 900 to
build, OH lot 50x200 feet, in good To-
cation. Price 81 600.
Splendid Groom house in best locn-
ton, all conveniences, good stable,
dwelling cost over $4,000 to build.
Price $4,000; $500 cash, balance s25
per month. This is fine chance for
q railroad man.
Groom house on Seventh avenue
southwest, $1,000; 500 cash, balance
sl0 per month.
Dwelling, rooms, near the shops,
$500; $50 cash, balance slope month.
8-room house near the Terry build
ing, 81, 100; on easy terms.
Dwelling, IL rooms, on Day avenue,
furnace, gas, hot and cold water, range.
Price $1,000; $500 cash, balance $25
er month.
Large 7-room house on Franklin
road, stable. Price $4,000.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
Fragrant Perfumes.

LAzELL's Russian Violet, Meadow
Lily, Hispania and Coronaria Perfumes.
Try these brands. They will satisfy
you. At e. L. Erb's drug store.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
NOT ICE.

Those having brick and stone work
or vitrified brick pavements to be laid
would do we'll to call on or address
J. l.. i q Ills.
The Practical Contractor and Builder.
Also all kinds Of carpenter-wcrk,
plastering, painting, kalsomining, and
paper hanging done on short notice.
All work guaranteed.
j. 7. FALLS,
No. 1l8 Fifth Avenue N. E.
Roanoke, Va.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
\ \ T. = = w AortoIksHestarna&.

&8 u. ~. VIZ Vs W SsSs1s
SCHEDULE IN Expect APRIL 10. 1896.
Wcsthound LoAve Roanoke Daily.
500 ., m. (Washington and Chattanooga
ltmtted) for Bristol, intermediate sta
tions and the South and Weat phil.
man sleepers TO New Orleans and
Memphis. Connects at Radford for
Bluefield and Pocahontas.
Do p. m. the Chicago Exprega for Rad
ford, Bluefeld, Pocahontas, Kenovs,
Cincinnati, Indianapolis, st. Louis,
Kansas City, Columbus and Chicago.
pullman Buffet Sleeper Roanoke
TO Columbus. ALSO for Pulaski.
Wytheville, Bristol, Knoxville, Chat.
sanooga and intermediate points.
Trains Arrive at Roanoke.
From Norfolk 1885 .. M; AIS o. ~.
Hagerstown TAO q. m; 4:05 o. m.
Winston 400 p. m.
Bristol and the west 1905 noon;
$50 p. m.
Daily.
12 is noon for Petersburg, Richmond
and Norfolk.
1918 noon for Washington, Hagerx-
town, Philadelphia and New York.
1870 p. m. for Richmond and Norfolk.
Pullman sleeper Roanoke to Norfolk
and Lynchburg 80 Richmond.
1905 p. m. Washington and Chatts.
nooga Imited) for Warrington,
Hagerstown, Philadelphia and New
York. Pullman sleeperl to Washing.
ton, via Shenandoah Junction and
Baltimore and Ohio railroad
Durham Division--Leave Lynchburc
Union ststion) daily 1850 D. M. for
South Boston and Durham and inter.
mediate stations.
Winston-Salem Division--Lesva Ros-
noke ONION stAtion) daily 1895 noon
and 500 .. N. daily, except Sunday
Campbell street station), tor Rocky
Mount, Msrtinsville. Winston-Salem
and intermediate stations.
For all additional inform alton apply
ticket office or to w. B. BEVILL,
General Passenger Agent. Roanoke, VS.
n. II. BRAGG
Travelling Passenger Agent
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07

Is the largest and made up of
the best class Of students
that has ever been In the
school. Students and teach
ers just out of school will
do we'll to enroll.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
Farms.

We have farms for sale In
all the counties that adjoin
Roanoke. Write for our cata
logue.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07

Go to Donaldson's for Carpets, Mat.
ting and Oil Cloth.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1896-05-07
Great Bargains.

SPLENDID brick store 25x130 feet in
best part of business section of the
town, now renting for 5000 per annum
ard should bring 5000. Price SIS, 700.
Groom house in East Roanoke, $500;
$50 cash, balance $40 per month.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06
EiOQuence.

"Eloquence Is speaking out
out of the abundance of the heart"
say the author of "Guesses at Truth"
An incident related by DIR. Bernardo,
the English philanthrcpist who cares
for friendless children. illustrates this
characteristic of cloquence.
Il was standing" he said, "at my
front door one bitter day in winter,
when little ragged chap came up to
me and asked me for an order of admis-
sion. To test him l pretended to be
rather rough with him.
"'Eow do ! know IL what you tell
re is true? Have you any friends to
speak fer your
Friends" he shouted. No. I amt
got no friends, but if these ere rags
and he waved his arm about as he smoke
won't speak for me nothin' else
will"
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06
The Mag ME and His Parrot,

A Maybe who was Chattering Away
at a Lively rate was Approached by a
Parrot, who Sneeringly said:
What an Awful. awful Row. Are
you trying to Scare all the Children to
Death?"
"You are a nice Specimen to Sheer at
my Music" replied the indignant Mag
pie If had your Voice I'd go hang
myself!
"And if had yours I'd Sing to Pole
Cat
This little Matter can be Easily
Settled observed the Parrot. after a
moments Thought. Let us go into the
Garden of the Musician and Sing for
him and leave it for him to Decide"
1t being so Agreed, the two Birds
perched themselves on Limb near the
Musicians window and began their
Songs. Each was trying his Best to
Excel the other when the Alarmed and
Enraged Referee rushed out with a
Club and exclaimed:
Great General Scott. but If you don
Clear Out of this I'll have your Lives
It's Verse than a Horse Fiddle"
Moral: Vanity and Boosting are but
a Thin Cover over ones Weaknesses.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06
COOKING IN ITALY.
The Food Is Cheap, but an Oven Is
Unknown.

Unknown.
Although the working people have
not much money, they receive satisfac-
tory returns from it as rule, says an
exchange. Food is cheap. A poor man
can go to market and buy the leg of a
turkey for cents as a dainty for his
sick wife, or if that is beyond his
means he can for cents get the head,
neck and feet of a chicken and make
a minestra (broth). Little at time"
and pay as you go" are two household
notices in this land of thrift, even in
the homes Of the wellto-do. At first
this seems strange to us, but we are
rapidly becoming accustomed to the
picturesque inconvenience of house.
keeping and buy in small quantities
like tho rest. Our kitchen is a long,
narrow apartment, paved with bricks.
The working apparatus, extends almost
the entire length of the room; it is
|. built out from the wall and is, in fact,
| neither more nor less than solid block
of masonry, about twelve feet long, four
feet high and three feet deep. We
might call it counter built of bricks
and mortar covered with heavy stone
slab Above this hangs the flaring
chimney cap. projecting it's black gap
| ing mouth over the entire length Of the
counter At regular intervals in the
stone slab there are three openings
about a foot square and foot and a
half deep, with a CRATE at the bottom
Of each, and on the face Of the counter
are three corresponding openings, which
connect with the upright ones below the
crate and thus serve for a draught. A
charcoal fire is made in each CRATE and
is coaGcd into life with primitive
fan of cocks feathers. The teakettle
soup pot, double boiler, saucepans, fry
ing-pans and fish kettle all jostle one
another around the edge Of two OF
these apertures. The third aperture
is reserved for state occasions, two be-
ing considered sufficient for ordinary
family use. An oven in a private house
the bakers and the cake and pastry al
the confectioner's. Our joints are
roasted on spi. in front of red-hot
Goals. which are piled on top of the
stone slab against the wall and directly
under the chimney. The meats are
pings from the pan which stands un
derneath the spit and are constantly
turned, SO that every part is Drowned
and crisped in the most appetizing man
| ner.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06
New Hebrides Christians.

The converts on the island of Aneitv.
UNI in the New Hebrides set good ex-
ample in the matter of benevolence,
Having been taught by DR.. and Mrs.
lnglis how to prepare arrowroot for
the market, they made money enough
In this manner to pay entirely for the
Bible which DR.. lnglis had translated
into their language, and are now giving
the proceeds of the industry to the Free
Church of Scotland. which sent out
their missionary. The contribution of
this year will amount to about $500, a
goodly sum coming from two congrega-
tions. The natives also willingly keen
up twenty-eight village school houses in
Ane!tyum.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06
HUMOROUS.

There is difference between cold
and the grip, but You win not realize it
until you receive the doctors bill
Truth.
Learned In History-Teacher: When
did the thirty years war commence?
Pupil: 81 don't know, sir; but if you
will tell me when it lett off can reck-
on p."-Fliegende Blaetter.
where do you live, johnny" asked
the nice young woman in the waits
mission. Dunno" You don't know"
Nav! wasn't home de last time de
folks moved ''-Detroit News.
How vain you are. Eifie. Looking
at yourself in the glass;" Vain, Aunt
Emma? Me vain. Why, don't think
myself half as good looking as l really
am"-Du Maurier in Punch.
Weary Watkins--Wot's de matter,
pardner? Did she throw water in yer
face? Hungry Higgins-Only on me
face; only on me face. had the pres
ence of mind to shut me mouth when
seen 1t coming.-lndianapOl Journal
Old gentleman quitting few ques-
tions)-Now. boys-ah-can you tell me
what commandment Adam broke when
he took the forbidden fruit? Small
scholar dixie shot)-Please. sir, tn
warn't no commandments then, sir!-
Tit-Bits.
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06

and spinSter can TESTIFY.
Now, having lived on this little flying
ball some years, l know WHEREOF l
speak By the way. did you ever meet
Mehitable Long? She lived many years
in that old farmhouse behind the big
spreading oak on the way TO Hopper
town. Mehitable had character, guam
titles of 1t, and very good OF its kind.
too.
Her father was no Carthaginian. and
did not lay her helpless baby hands on
the altar of home and country. COM
polling her to take an oath against that
enemy of womankind-matrim Not
at all. Yet she was as decided as
though she had been oath bound. Now.
don't misunderstood me. Mehitable
was no fool. and did not go about rail-
ing against the men. She treated all
frankly and courteously, and had warm
friends of both sexes But the pyramid
OF Egypt was not more firmly based on
its native soil than she was on de-
termination to remain, through good
and evil report a fixed member Of the
highly-respected and respectable sister
hood OF spinsters. She used to declare:
1.-The legend on my tombstone shall be
'Mehitable Long. spinster age ninety
nine; never had an Offer"
Time sped on, and treated my friend,
In It's liberal way, with its bitter and its
sweet, but not once had she swerved
from her early determination. and l
should have as soon thought of hearing
that the great pyramid had been caught
waltzing with the sphinx as to hear that
Mehitable Long contemplated treach-
cry to the sisterhood
Like a thunderbolt dropped from a
clear December sky came the news that
Mehitable was engaged to be married
to man. You may pronounce the close
of my assertion superfluity. as women
generally marry men; but l emphatic
ally declare that my establishment was
intensified by that very fact. 1t seemed
to me that Mehitable's marriage should
change the whole natural order Of
things.
But why linger? She married. and
went-with her husband. too-on q
wedding tour. Somehow. 1t could have
been horne with more equanimity had
they taken separate journeys.
In process of time, after the effect,
Of the shock had somewhat subsidized
! went to pay the married spinster {
visit. Several years had passed since
her catastrophe, and her family nov
numbered three. the third one being lit
tie Hope, a child born in the memorable
blizzard Of 1888. and as remarkable Al
the child of spinster and a blizzart
should be. Now, do not for momen
think that am casting any reflections
upon the exceedingly worthy Jeremiah
who bears the trials of his life. ant
especially of his married lifc with
fortitude approaching. II not reaching
sublimity.
On the way to the home of my rec
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06

Mrs Beaumont is the wife of the post
trader at Fort Yukon, and went into the
wilds of that section four years ago. In
to don mems apparel. The snow was
fearfully deep, and as she had to walk
with the men who were drawing sledges
loaded with freight; there was no other
way that she could dress and live.
Mrs. Beaumont has put in two winters
at Fort Yukon and one at Rampant
House, near the boundary line between
Alaska and British America. She is
modest little woman. looking now to be
scarcely over twenty years of age. Prior
TO going to the far interior by the Yukon
route, she and her husband had lived in
the larger cities of the eastern states.
She says, however, that at no time since
going to the Yukon has she felt lone
some, though there We're no other white
persons than her husband and children
within many hundreds of miles.
Sometimes, too, she was left alone for
weeks, while her husband went down
the river to get more goods for his post.
At such times the Yukon Indians
sWarmed around, coming from the fur
Their wilds to exchange their furs for
supplies. Mrs. Beaumont carried on the
trading, having no fear of the Indians.
She says they never attempted to modest
her. and she was so busy with the duties
Of the post that the idea scarcely en-
tered her mind. Only one white woman
h0 n nd No Ir h.,
upper Yukon, and she was the wife of
an English missionary.
1T was in March, 1892, that l started
with my husband to Fort Yukon" said
Mrs. Beaumont. "As no other white
woman had ever crossed the snowy
Chilkat Pass it was deemed a very
hazardous undertaking. l was not,
however, afraid in any way, and got
through with entire safety. In fact,
rather enjoyed it, The snow was very
deep, and part of the time it was very
cold, but l put on one of the native
| coats, which has hood for the head
and holes through which to see. We
had plenty of bed clothing carried on
the sledges, which enabled us to keep
warm at night.
ITO tell the truth, l enjoyed the ex-
perience, though l could not do it again,
since l have the children. My expert
ence at Fort Yukon has been very
! pleasant. The post is in the edge of the
hills little way from the Yukon, and
| on its west bank. In summer there
were a great variety of wild flowers
among which are roses, blue bells. yell
low flowers of all kinds. and many
others, until they fairly carpeted the
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06
The road to a mans heart was through
~ .A0 ~aH

The road to mans heart was through
his stomach.
reant friend. I amused myself by i'm
agining the changes the experiences OF
married life might have produced. She
had always been fond of standing on
intellectual heights. and her dearest
and most intimate friends were the &C.
cupants of her treasured library: and
with her fine taste and keen apprecia-
ton OF literature was corresponding
dislike of the hum-drum. rever-ending
round of household work.
How will it be now, with both Jere-
miah and little Hope to feed and care
for? Has she become vine. hanging
over the wall-metaphorica Jere-
miah:-a vine fruitful in household
works? Can 1t be that my friend, Me-
hitable, who always stood so uncom-
promisingly on her own roots, has by
some mysterious process become a
clinging matrimony vine? And is Jere-
miah the supporting trellis?
''Centripolisv screamed the con-
ductor. and gathering together great,
middle-sized and little bundles, went
forth to receive the answer to my
queries. On the platform stood my
friend, Mehitable, with a combination
of Mehitable, jeremiah and blizzard by
her side, in the form Of Miss Hope.
In Justice to the little midget, let me
say the blizzard side was rarely upper
most.
The hearty greeting. 81 am very glad
to see you once more. Graysaida"-he
net name for me in the happy spinster
days-was reassuring. She had not
quite lost her identity, then, in the
thickets OF matrimonial perplexities
and felicities. We had only to walk
across a little common to be at her
door: and we were soon exchanging
"reminiscences Of the past and news Of
the present This conversation was not
entirely unshared by Miss Hope. who
was so often and SO emphatically sup
pressed by her mother that she confided
to her favorite doll the opinion that
two womans was too many to have In
the house." Was this belief Of Miss
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1896-02-06
He bit Mt the BAIT,

1t certainly was an unfair advantag,
to take OF man; but business is bust
ness. He was expecting dun, and he
Instructed his office boy to say. in case
anybody called, that Mr. Pilgarlic was
out to lunch. Presently there was a
caller. He was stopped in the outside
room by the youthful Cerberus, who de-
ivered himself of the formula, accord
ing to instructions.
oh. he's gone out to lunch. eh?" said
the visitor; I'm sorry for that I
wanted him to take dinner VITA me"