The herald., 1896-06-29

"Hellow. is dat you Herv?" queried
the deputy zanjero through the tele-
phone on Saturday afternoon.
'It is" came back the answer over
the wire.
"Glad to see yuse home again." next
waited the great apostle of American
ism. You're lookin' WELL"
''Thanks; feelin' like a hundred cents
on the dollar, 16 to 1 and no change"
"Say, Herv, how bout dat turn down
over to Saint Lucy? 'spose me an de
rest of de good people as is playin' to
win III have to be sendin' our visitin'
card round to First and Broadway in
stead of to Broadway and Fourth streets
or de Westminster, like we done afore
you an Frank Flint failed over your
selves three weeks ago agoin' east Me
an Walter Parker haint lettin' no grass
grow under our feet-soon as de eagle
turned lose, de news bout how he had a
fence round everything in sight in desc
parts, Park an me filed our papers to-
gether wild de colonel, to be pointed COL
lector Of opium stamps down to Ballona
harbor. What does yuse think, Herv,
bout our foresight"
"Yuse foresight aire out O. sight" says
Herv, through de phone. de c'lector-
ship down to Ballona aire just about
what de colonel IL be able to turn over to
you II Mckinley runs off wild first mon
ey Ira la, lalalala," and den Herv
hangs up his ear trumpet an goes
awanderin' down de street athinkin as
= - l. vtx,b
Say, yuse aire 'Quainted wild my
friend, Walter Moores 'sistant in de
fire department. Dat feller aire hit
ter as kin put to sleep any champion
fighter dis side de Seventh ward. Dey
had him up in council 124 last week ac-
cusin' him of layin' wake nights to place
de Irish. Dey was ready to send him to
San Quentin for murtherin' his own peo-
pie, when he got stay. De mex meetin'
of de friends he had search warrant all
signed up an swore to a-provin' as how
he had in year fired out thirteen MEM
bers Of de pope's ownest, an give dere
places to twenty-one real genooine, 16 to
Americans. only half on 'em bein' born
ed round Quebeck an Toronto, where
Doc Campbell comes from. Dem figgers
swore to under de seal of de state 'visory
board, were paralizer, an now Moore's
'sistant Is to be trotted out for John M.
Glass phat take soon as we 'lect RAIDER
'Talkin' about Glass, dis Teller Burr
up on de hill hain't no farmer, If he do
loaf round Caliente some too much.
Dat was great idee, to go in de noun
tains a-lookin' for murderer just where
feller might own a mine he wants to do
leetle prospectin' on. De people pays
de freight when its done dat way, an
all hands Is happy all de time after
Say, keep your optics on de bung-hole
where Johnny Cline Is a-restin his face
Dat innocent-lookin' youngster stands
closer to Mark Hanna an de Ohio major
dan Herv Lindely an de colonePs eagle
braced together. Cline handled Hannas s
dough round here, when we'uns an de
'sociation was all agin Mckinley. De
boy went to Herv an says: Let's get
along like brothers, says he You can't
afford to scrap, but if you say it's fight
fight 1t II be, till somebody's got de
worst Of it, Herv, you'll remember,
was den for Iowa as agin Ohio. He saw
Cline had him in de door, an de two
shook hands to do de colonel, which dey
aire, nut brown, de color to stick till San
Pedro has de long wharf.
DE 'sociation is agin Cline, cause
some Of dem geysers is too leetle for his
size. Look out for dat youngster, just
de same. Eff Mckinley lands, he's in
line for Nick Covarrubias' puddin',
which IL make him as big round as he
is long.
me an Parker an Lindley has a
teaser as'll set de woods afire when we
springs 1t. Soon as our committee aire
organized for blood, We'll put in two
doors on a when de- other-f fellow
comes-out plan. One entrance III have
over 1t silver horseshoe wild 16 to
motto, an OH de other IL be hung gol-
den calf, Is carat solid, areadin' under
meath It God Bless Our Home; Protec-
tion Makes Dis Mare Co. No, you
snoozer, de calf won't be intended for
Jay McLachlan. Out of one door we'll
send white literature to de grangers in
Ventura, an outen de other We'll rush
yellow protection peanuts to de sancti-
monious gold bugs out round de Hotel
Green. We kin in dat way hold Joint
Puddin' atalkin' 16 to 1 up round de
Ojai an tariff on frozen oranges out by
Azusa. Haint dat scheme a looloo !?
Me an Parker an Lindley ought to be
crowned in glory for dat idee on de
fourth Of mex March,"
say. II L1ndley had a-been here. dat
ratification meeting ten days ago
wouldn't have turned out a Galway
wake, like 1t done. Herv would have
kept some O. dem rampant sociation
fraudsters under de moss a leetle hard
er, SOS to give people like Harry Gage
chance. Gage was billed on de pro-
gram fora solo, but when he found
out bout de push as was in charge Of
de ghost dance. he had a date to ha-
beas corpus a Chinese highbinder de
mex day. Den dee outfit harmonizeed
hissen one of der leaders an drivin'
another into de lunacy court. It was
q great night for de party, an de mex
day Mark Hanna telephhoned me to
screw up more enthusiasm out here, or
else I'd have to quit my job.
Dem statesmen round de hall gone
an done 1t once again. Father Kanga-
roo Kingery has passed up a ordinance
keepin' market stalls open SUNDAYS.
Hain't dat about as freaky a PROPOSE
tion as you ever heard of? Now, if
Tommy Savagr, had a-done dat, de
church bells would be ringin' yet to
run Savage off de face of de earth, an
here comes de man from de Fourth
ward, hisself a parson, If he do live
near Johnny Vaughn, an says de vege-
table men an de Chinese gardeners
round Vernon ought to work every day
In de year. Between de 'visory board
an de Parsons Protective association,
Kingery'll wish he was dead 'twixt now
an December.
It's a shame de way some people aire