Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1896-01-30
AN IMpECUNIoUS ONE.
THE BOLD ZANE OF BLUFF he PLAYED
OIL THE CONDUCTOR.

He Was Not n Gambler or a Drummer.
but = Bank misunderstanding TO the
Man Who Tells the Story. He Ought to
BE an Acsor-oh. It Was wickedi
he sat in a hotel smoking room. The
air was blue. but men were happy
happy and reminiscent. he stretched
out his legs. thrust his hands deep into
his pockets, and between the puffs spun
this yarn:
"For dead cold, icy nerve had al
ways thought we travelling men took the
cake. But the prettiest game Of bluff /
ever saw was put up by a man who was
neither a drummer nor a reporter, but
merely an oyerworked bank clerk who
had applied for leave of absence and
gone south to recuperate, He had drawn
certain sum for the trip and resolved
not to exceed it. Foolishly he eIhad neg
lected to buy an excursion ticket, argu-
ing that he might want to return by a
different route. And then, as a matter
of course, be found that he had spent his
money not wisely but too well, SO. that
he was hundreds of miles from home,
ticketless and friendless and we'll nigh
penniless. His checkbook was useless,
for no one knew him and he must be
identified.
"All this I learned later on. My ac-
quaintance with him began ON the train
~ ~ k1n do xrI,a he
asked me to stake him enough to see
him home. had already been touched
several times that trip, SO, expressing ev-
cry confidence in his probity, declined
the honor he would do me. He tried
several other passengers with like re-
suit. Then he gave it up, but made us
all promise not to interfere with any
game he tried to play.
Presently the conductor came along.
The impecunious one, his hat cooked
over one eye, was peacefully sleeping in
one corner of his seat, leaning toward
an open window. The conductor shook
him, gently at first, SO that he stirred,
and his hat dropped farther over his
eye, but he did not wake Then more
roughly, saying, Come, sir, your ticket.
please
At that the impecunious one awoke
with big start. His hat few out of the
window, and he few into great rage.
He swore at the conductor and abused
him up and down, him and his fore
fathers unto the third and fourth gener-
alton. What did he mean by waking
him in that way? Didn't he know that
rest was invaluable to an invalid? That
such sudden, rude awakening might be
fatal to weak heart? We're his nerves
of no account? And now he had lost his
hat and would catch cold. It was out
rageous.
''The conductor bowed before the
storm, and when it had somewhat abat-
ed offered to replace the hat at the first
stopping place. And now, sir, let me
see your ticket, please.
The impecunious one felt in all his
pockets, went through them all again
with bewildered air. Finally he broke
out: why. you idiot, you, all my tick
cts, not only on this road, but straight
through to Chicago, were in the lining
of my hat, and you knocked it out of
the window. I'm in pretty pickle
now. haven't enough with me to buy
a fresh set. This piece of idiocy will
cost you your job. I'll report you to the
company and teach you to be more care
full how You startle nervous man.
"The conductor tried to soothe him,
offered to take him through to the end
of the division. But the impecunious
one would not be appeased. Much good
it would do him to be landed in some
little nearby, one horse southern town
hundreds Of miles from nowhere. He
wanted to nat thronoh To Chicann Ha