Evening star., 1896-06-06
THE THOMPSON STREET b.
CYCLE CLUB.
Written for The Evening Star by NJ. Quad.

"Gem'len OF de club" began President
Toots, as the Thompson Street Colored BIZ
cycle Club was called to order, "at a late
meetin' we had de queshun befo' us,
Should minister Of de Gospil ride bike?'
De sentiment Of de members was about
evenly divided, an no decishun was ar
rove at, but de same queshun am heah be-
TO us again, an shall hope to see it set
tied dis time fur good. De opinyun Of yo'r
president am SO well known dat it would
be idle fur me to say anythin on de sub
jick. We will ha'r from Brudder Slipback
White on de matter"
Brother White said that near him lived a
preacher who had learned to ride the bike
and the difference in the demeanor of that
man before and after was something amaz-
ing. The previous air Of humility was
gone, and its place had been taken by
sort of cock-a-doodle-doo bearing which
gave rise to much talk. He couldn't say
that the preacher had lost any of the good
hess of his SOUL nor that his sermons were
the less interesting, but contact with the
frsky bike had certainly worked change
that he regretted to see. One day the
preacher had winked at him ,,s they pass
ed. On another occasion the good man had
asked If he saw any flies on him. On the
third occasion the preachers bike mad
struck a banana cart. and the preacher
ard the dago had seemed to use words of
about the length and meaning. lie
had no wish to abridge any mans rights,
but it was his firm and unalterdbie opinion
that preachers should keep both feet on
the ground and not strike gait OF over nVe
miles an hour.
Elder Hopkins Remarks.
Brother Elder Hopkins, who is sixty years
cid and just married to his third wife. re-
sponded to the call of the president by say
ing that he could not agree with Brother
White. He was not a regularly ordained
minister of the Gospel but mad something
of a reputation as an exhorter He had
how been riding the bike for three months,
and if there was anything wicked about 1t
be ought to have felt it. Had he been hurt
by the contact? No! On the contrary, the
bike had proved a blessing to him and to
his hearers. Formerly he had the hardest
kind Of work to keep his congregation
awake, not to say interested, and he mad
grave reasons to fear that he did not earn
the thirty or forty cents returned on The
collection plates. How was 1t now? He
walked into the pulpit after a t1ve-mle spin
on his bike, and in less than ten minutes
half his audience were shouting "Amen!'
He could rip Satan up the back In way he
had never hoped to attain. and after an ex-
hortation of two hours mis- congregation
still cried for him to go on He had also
winked at men (not womeD OF his ac-
quaintance-he had also made 1t impossible
for flies to alight on his back-he had even
choked dago half to death, but In spite
of all that he felt that he was gaining in
goodness and leaving Satan further be-
hind each day that he lived Let ministers
ride the bike if you want red-hot sermons.
Brother Tobias 4. Neutral.
Brother Washington Tobias. who still
ties himself on mis- bike when he goes out.
that there may be no sudden separation and
resultant heart burnings, said that he had
given the subject thirteen minutes OF the
most serious thought, but could not arrive
at any conclusion. He did not want his
preacher to he gay ard colty and go around
stepping high and talking about horse races
and dog fights. Neither did he want him to
go around Ike a pancake on legs and Will
ing to let every dog bite him and every
lOafer kick mis- coat tails full of wrinkles.
The rapid exhilaratng motion Of the bike
doubtless acted to stir up mems souls. and
in some cases, perhaps, 1t made men worse,
but he felt that the ministry could he
trusted. If they found Satan on the saddle
behind them they would discard the bike
and go about or stills. Let them ride or
self to decide.
A Straight Tip.
When the Rev. Penstock was called upon
he rose with alacrity. and was evidently
primed for the occasion. He is a regularly
ordained minister and advocate OF the
like, and there was much interest to hear
what he would say. He opened on Brother
White from the word go. The man who
affirmed that riding bike made a preacher
sporty was a bigot, and did not know what
he was talking about. He was preacher
with a flock. He had been riding bike for
five months. anf had reached that point
where he could dodge any ice wagon In
town in turning a corner but had any
member of his congregation noticed any
change in him for the worse? Did he act
colty? Was there a sporty look to his eye
brows and whiskers? There had been
change in him, but it for the better.
He had got out and buZzed around and
umn, given him a fresh hold of oratory,
and his church was gaining new members
at the rate Of ten per week. He slept bet
ter, ate better, and though it still took
pint of arnica to rub him down after
spin. he believed he was nearer the good
mark than ever before. If riding on some
thing rapid had wicked influence on man,
why were most railroad engineers pillars
of the church-why had many horse
jockeys come to him and expressed a wish
to live better lives? The idea all nom
sense. 1t was the wheel which was rapid
not the rider. Exhilaration was no wick
edneSs
one with a feeling Of exniaration strong
upon him might wink at woman riding a
bike in the opposite direction, but it would
be harmless wink-a wink to merely an
nounce that he saw her and was glad that
she was taking needed exercise Even
should he chin with female, it would not
be wicked chin-but simply inquiries after
the state of her pneumatic tire. Away with
and prevarication! He should continue on
now, and if any of his congregation dis
covered that he was losing mis- goodness he
would resign at their demand
Preachers Can Ride.
Several other members spoke upon the
question pro and con, and it was then put
to vote. By majority Of seventeen votes
it was decided that preachers can ride the
bike and look little sporty and act a
little colty, and that any one opposed to It
go to grass. Brother White who holds
such strong views in the negative, arose
and offered his resignation, but the same
was not accepted. and he was told to sit
down and keep quiet until the meeting ad-
journed.
Where Arithmetic Don't Come In.
From tho Chicago Evening Post.
Il hear you're very good at arithmetic,
Bobby said the visitor. pleasantly.
Sure" returned Bobby, without looking
UP from his play.
We'll. if l should tell you when your
papa and your mamma were born could
You tell me how old they are?" asked the
visitor.
Il could tell you how old pap is" an