davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
BRIGHT BITS.

"A Sad Misunderstanding Prohibition
island how far is your rural home from
the nearest rumshop?
The Indiscreet Farmer-Why, it's only
half dozen rods or so. You could easily
crawl home on your hands and knees on
the darkest night. and not miss the way
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Equally Distrustful-"Say," whisper
ed the man in the broad-brimmed straw
hat to the steamboat clerk, give me
some other stateroom, please. The man
you've put me in with is a manufacturer
of pure ground spices" A few minutes
later the manufacturer of pure ground
spices sauntered up to the clerks desk.
say" he whispered, cant you let me
have some other staterOom? You've put
a fellow in with me that makes pure
Vermont maple sugar. Chicago Tri-
bune
"A millionaire railway king has a broth
er who Is hard of hearing. while he him
self is remarkable as having a very promi-
nent nose. Once the railway king dined at
friends house when he sat between two
ladies, who talked to him very loudly,
rather 10 his annoyance but he said moth
ing Finally one of them shouted a COM
monplacs remark, and then said in an or
binary tone to the other: Did you ever
see such a nose in your life?' Pardon
me, ladies" said the millionaire; its my
brother who is deaf Imagine the horror
of the lady.-Weekly Telegraph.
Gratifying Improvements.-"I am glad
to see you looking so much better than
when I met you last, Miss Quickstep."
Why, when was that, Mr.. Spoona-
more?"
Last Thursday, on the boulevard. You
We're riding a bicycle. Chicago Tribune.
His Preference.-tI suppose you are
going away for the summer" remarked
the man who always moves with the
crowd.
mo, sir" replied the base ball enthusi-
asst. Pm going to stay right here in
town.
you don't care for an outing. then"
mo, sir. I'd rather have nine innings
any day."-W ashington Star.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
How She Eicnred II.

Orlando" she said according to the De-
troit Free Press, II am afraid you are
getting tired having me ask you for mon
ey."
well, you see" he answered, II have a
good deal of expense to meet just at this
time of the year and it does seem once in
awhile that women don't make enough al
lowances for that sort of thing"
''Well,' she answered, I've thought of
way that will fix it all very nicely"
What is it?'
Whenever you go to the barber shop
and the boy brushes you off you give him
YES"
And when you are away from home at
a hotel and a boy brings you ice water
you give him diner"
yes"
And a mixed drink costs Is cents?"
"Of course"
'Well, you've often said that women
have no head for arithmetic, but l am go
ing to convince you to the contrary.
am going to learn to make your favorite
mixed drinks. Thatll be 10 cents a day.
Then I'll bring you ice water in the morn
ing; that'll be 10 cents. And then I'll brush
your clothes with a whisk-broom and
that'll be 10 cents more. There's So cents a
day. I've figured it all out on this little
piece of paper. Three hundred and sixty
five days in a year-that's 365 times IS,
which makes S12775. If you give me that
without my asking for it, just as you do
the bell boys and the bartender, l can
put it with my regular allowance and
manage to get along much better"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
An Educated Crnh.

'Terrapins are curious things" said
Longbow. meditatively. as he injected a
liberal dose Of black pepper into his ice
cream soda. says the New York Journal
curious as a creature. or as a cOmesti-
Dlet' questioned WhOppers, substituting
red pepper for the black, ia case his friend
ais drink.
las a creature. Of course" returned
LongboT, nature never created the ter
rapin as food You can tell that BY the
pr-ce. The terrapin Is a domestic pet
NO home is complete without IL. We have
had one for many years.
When he first crossed our threshold
we We're ia some doubt IS 70 his temper
ament. We We're not quite certain that he
was sound and kind. There was nothing
nasty about him, we saw that at a glance.
But We We're not sure that there might
not be the smOuldering fires Of innate viii
lai1y hidden under the mask of a slug
glsn demeanOr. But that terrapin endear-
Ell himself TO all Of us rapidly, although
our family is an exclusive one. We are
hard-sheu Baptists from way back"
DO any tr-cksy" asked Whoppers, non
chalantly.
"Tricks?" repeated Longbow. ''Wen, I
should say he can. No end OF them de can
walk on his hind legs; pretend to be dead;
shoot on a cannon; walk tight rope and
ring in a fire alarm. Tricks? He's full
Of them"
That all?" asked Whoppers, somewhat
cOntemptuOusly.
What more do you want?' queried
Longbow suspiciOnsly.
can he do the danse du Ventre2'
The what2"
THE danse du ventre. The hula-hula.
The koochi-kOochi dance" replied Whop-
pers, in lofty explanation.
No; 1 don't think he cam admitted
Longbow, uneasily.
Then" rejoined Whopper. in triumph,
he is not in 1t with my crab"
I once had d most affectionate pet
crab. She was of the gentler sex. She
strayed in upon US, unawares, one day,
wife is superstitious about turning dumb
animals out of doors, so the crab remain
ed with US. Well, 1 tried first to teach
her the skirt dance. But she had too
many feet for that, and an awkward hab-
II Of tripping over her claws. Finally
bright idea occurred to me. remembered
the danse du ventre, and the fact that
legs were not a sine qua non to its accom-
plishment. The result was astonishing.
She learned it in six lessons without
faux pas"
What had FOrepaugh to do with it?'
i said faux pas" retorted WhOppers.
There are others. And now think Wen
take another ice cream soda TO my crab
on your terrapin.'
Hold on a minute" interrupted Long
bow, excitedly. Il hate to spoil a good
story, but this wont go. A crab has as
not come anywhere near doing the koochi-
koochi dancer
"Oh, yes; mine could" replied Whoppers,
YEARLY. she was a sOft-shen crab"
Two ice cream sodas," ordered Long
bow, hOpelessly.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
The Lost Was Found,

Finally he identified his house, says the
San Francisco Post, but after arguing
with himself for a couple of minutes he
came to the conclusion that he was lust
WOODY enough to make mistakes possible,
SO to be absolutely certain he balanced
himself against the front fence and stud
led the number on the transom. Instead
of 206 he saw 500. He rubbed his eyes
and looked again, but the number had not
changed. 1t was still 500. Then he Won
dered how it happened that he had got on
the wrong side of the streeu and three
blocks too far out, made a zigzag across
the street and started back, but before
he had walked three blocks he came to
the end of the street.
The weary pilgrim was bewildered He
couldn't understand it, but getting his d.
rections, shaped his course out the street
on the right side and kept on until he
came to 500 again. He studied it from ev-
cry possible point of view, even trying to
stand on his head to read it, but il Der-
verssly remained 800.
Utterly bewildered he sat down on the
steps and waited till a policeman came
along.
I'm losht," he explained. ct wanter
go ter POS Irvington street"
This is the place right here" declared
the officer.
Cant be. Thsh is 500"
No, II amt; it's 206, but the transom is
turned over
The lost was found
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

Triton is preparing to hold early in July
a fruit carnival. to extend over three days
II is proposed that the exhibition. shall be
the largest of its kind ever held in Geor-
gia, and to that end the fair buildings
are being enlarged and improved Exhib-
its from various parts of South Georgia
are expected. and will no doubt be forth
coming. The probabilities are that the
new city of Fitzgerald viii have a place
in the picture. in which event it may be
depended upon that it will be one of the
interesting features Of the show.
The time and place for the holding OF
the carnival are well selected. Triton is
in the midst of as fine a fruit section as
there is in the south, in which peaches
pears, plums, grapes and melons especial
ly flourish and attain to perfection in size
and flavor. Early in July the fruits will
be at their best. The festival, therefore,
viii be both a delight to the eye and a
feast to the palate. 1t will be worth trav-
cling miles to see the exhibits, and more
miles to partake of them.
The commercial value of the fair to the
section cannot be estimated or forecast.
The settlers at Fitzgerald will see what
can be produced in South Georgia in the
way Of fruits and they win write to their
friends in the northwest concerning them.
Visitors from other states viii be in at
tendance, and the perfection and profu-
sion of fruits win be such as to induce
some of them to engage in the business
themselves. Our correspondence a day OF
two ago told of the purchase of several
hundred acres Of land near Triton by a
Pittsburg man for orchard purposes. The
Triton carnival viii be very apt to decide
other men like him to invest in South
Georgia orchards. There are still many
unoccupied acres in the fruit belt, and
they may be bought at prices that are
reasonable.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

Len Henry, a well known pioneer, re-
lates an adventure that is out of the
usual order, says the Anaconda Stand
ard. He was travelling on a narrow trail
above the raging Grande Ronde river,
when he came to a landslide about twenty
feet across, that left no trail or even a
niche in the smooth, precipitous rock
The trail was so narrow that the horse
could not turn back. He was trapped.
Above the tWenty-foOt break in the trail
was a sharp crag Of rock. On his saddle
bow was a strong RATA sixty feet long,
and Henry IS an expert in the use of it,
He steadied himself upon the saddle
swung the rope over his head and hurled
1t high in the air. Tt was settled firmly
over the crag. He tried il carefully. 1t
was firm. HIS saddle was a new and
strong one, with double cinches. Around
the horn he wound the rope. He urged
the horse on to the edge of the precipice
The faithful beast stood firm. He would
not step over, but the rider drew up the
slack and pulled with all his mower Inch
by inch he drew the straning horse for
ward, till his feet slipped and he swung
over the chasm. The rider held his breath
as he looked at the river below and the
slender rope above but he was across the
the gap. He sprang up the trail and tug
ged at the reins to aid the horse in gain
ing his feet. He pulled, and the horse
lunged UP into the trail with the chasm
back behind Mr.. Henry rode away. and
left the rope dangling for the use of the
next wayfareG who CHANGED to come that
WaV.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

During the past week devotees Of the
game OF whist have watched with inter
est the proceedings in the Sixth American
Whist Congress. at Manhattan Beach II
would probably not be amiss 20 say that
some Of the most accomplished whist
players in the world were in attendance
upon the congress. among them Henry
Jones. the English player who. under the
pen name Of Cavendish. is recognized as
an authority. The first few days Of the
meeting. hy the way. were sufficient 70
develop the fact that America has q cham
pion woman player. VINO is able to cope
with even the great Cavendish in the fine
points OF the game. She is Miss Kate
Wheelock and her brilliant playing and
other accomplishments seem to have quite
capuvated the Brooklyn Eagle. an en-
thusiastic lover of the game. II Miss
Wheelock fuldlls the Eagles predictions,
she may indeed become the leading whist
player Of the world
By way Of showing how popular, and
yet how select. the game Of whist is, it
may be stated that the league, under
whose auspices the congress is being held
is composed of 13i clubs in ninety-four
cities and towns in twenty-four states.
The membership of these clubs aggregates
25.765; yet out Of that membership only
7.20S are set down as disunctively whist
players. The others play whist. more or
less indiaerently. and admire the game.
But it appears to require peculiar tenn
permanent to make frst-class whist
player. 1t is. Ike chess. game for
thoughtful people. people with brains. and
that naturally makes the expert whist
players a somewhat select circle.
There were some seventy women in the
congress, and their playing is said to have
been particularly strong. Some of them
took part in the games for the Brooklyn
trophy and the Minneapolis trophy. which
were among the closest contests Of the
meeting.
1t is the purpose Of the congress, besides
contestng for trophies. etc. to do as much
as possible toward Strengthening out the
tangle of rules of the game. There are
half a dozen or so systems in use. The
echo means two or three different things
There are half a dozen different methods
of discard. There are long suit theories
and short suit theories. The congress
will do what it can to select from among
the different systems and theories the
points that it considers best and recon-
mend them to whist players.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

New Orleans. continues 10 make efforts
in the direction CT reducing her port
charges and other burdens upon shipping.
| She recognizes that other southern ports
are taking steps in that direction. and
that the competition must be met or a
loss Of business viii result The argu-
ments that apply 10 New Orleans apply
10 Savannah with equal force. And when
New Orleans makes a movement towards
concessions 10 commerce, Il is 10 the in
terests or This city 20 note the movement
and try 20 keep abreast OF the procession.
The Louisiana metropolis is at present
working for notifications in the quar-
antine arrangements. whereby the heavy
charges may De reduced. and incoming
vessels may be required 20 undergo the
shortest period of detention consistent
with the safety of the public healtn The
legislature IS being urged TO take hold
OF the quarantine matter and make ap-
propriauons for the maintenance Of the
system. The claim of New Orleans is
that the quarantine system IS for the pro-
lection Of the whole state. and the Miss
issppi valley. and the city's commercial
interests should not be required TO bear
the burden alone. It is proposed. in the
event that the legislature considers the
matter favorably to abolish all quaran-
tine fees, and to adopt such new regula-
tions as viii permit Of ships having no
sickness aboard getting out of quaran-
tine within a reasonable time. even though
they sailed from suspected ports The
need Of a modification Of the quarantine
regulations at this port along that line
has been felt.
For some time New Orleans has been
at work upon an effort to make her
wharves free. Five years or so ago GER
tain parties leased the wharves from the
city. In order to abolish the wharf
charges it viii be necessary for the city
to purchase the unexpired leases. The
holders of the leases are willing to sell,
but they charge $l5OOOd for their priv
ileges. The city council. a few days ago.
considered the proposition. but declined TO
buy at the price named. which was con-
sidered too high. Negotiations are pend
ing still, and an arrangement will no
doubt be made whereby the wharves will
pass again into the city's hands. and be
made free.
New Orleans is confident that with the
quarantine charges removed from the
commerce of her port, and the wharves
made free, her commerce would be greatly
increased. And there is every reason for
the belief that her confidence is well
grounded.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

The MORNING NEWS IS published
every day in the year. and is served 10
subscribers in the city, or sent BY mail.
Al sl.sO a month. $50 Tor six months. and
5000 FOR one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mail. six
times a week (without Sunday issue).
three months. 500. six months. 500. one
year, $50.
The WEEKLY NEWS, ? issues week.
Monday ana Thursday. h. mail. one
year. Sl.O0.
Subscriptions payable in advance Re
NIT b. postal order. check or registered
letter Currency sent By mail at risk Of
senders.
Transient advertisements. other than
special column. local or reading notices.
Rmusements and cheap or want column,
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
type-equal TO one inch square in depth
s. the standard of measurement. Contract
rates and discounts made known on appli-
cation a. business Office.
orders for delivery OF the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place of
business may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 30. Any irTegu-
larity in delivery should be Immediately
reported 70 the office OF publication
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ca
EASTERN OFFICE. o Park Row. New
York City. c. S. Faulkner Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

Mr.. Thomas w. Keene, an actor of the
legitimate is in favor of the establish
ment of a national theater ana school of
acting. Some events of recent occurrence
will be apt to prejudice people against the
acceptance Of Mr.. Keene's idea. For in
stance, according TO the testimony of Da-
vid Belaseo, the playwright, it is worth
$4,000 to train an actress, and accordins.
TO the experiences of Abbey. schoeffel
and Grau, it sometimes costs $4,000 to
star an actress for a season. Miss Lillian
Russell is said to have cost the firm at
least that amount during the last season.
With such figures as a basis for caIeula-
fions. it will be seen that national thea
ter and national school Of acting would
cost the country several millions of dol
lars per annum. And the treasury is not
IN a position just now to stand such a
brain.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

1t is reported that sergeant-at-
Arms Martin of the Chicago convention
has provided staff of able physicians
and surgeons. and ambulances, stretchers,
appliances and remedies for instant use,
to be on hand at the convention hail dur
tng the various sessions. What does the
sergeant-at-arms expect? The democrats
are not going to Chicago to hold a Dom
nybrook fair. They are going there to
calmly deliberate upon momentous ques-
lions of vital Importance to the country
and the party. What special need have
statesmen in elaboration for surgeons,
and limits and bandages. and arnica and
court plaster?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meeting-Georgia Historical Society.
Special Notices-Ship Notice. Dahl &
Andersen; Prices way Below Cost. Falll
Clothing Company.
Steamship Schedules-Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company.
This Is Sacrifice Day-At Levy's.
Observation-Disclosures Institute, Bote-
aourt Springs, Va
Pearline-James Pyle, New York.
Cottolene-N. X. Fairbanks Company.
Tobacco-Blackwelrs Genuine Durham
Tobacco.
Ohicial-Announceme Of Death OF
Arthur Padelford, at Paris.
Financial-Bonds for Sale, John w.
Dickey, Augusta, Ga.
Medical-Cuticura Remedies; Hoods
sarsaparilla; DIR. E. c. Vests Brain and
Nerve Treatment; Simmons Liver Regu-
lator.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

The Cuban insurgents really ought to
recognize in some striking manner the
services of Mr.. John d. Hart of Phila-
delphia, who is one Of the most indicted
men in this country. and all for the Gu
ban cause. He is at present under indict-
ment in at least three states for fiubus-
tering, in having attempted to send arms
and ammunition to the Cubans, and he
has defended probably twice that many
other suits originating from similar at
tempts. The Cuban government might
at least name him defendant extraordi-
nary in this country. with the title Of
major general.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

From the New Orleans Picayune Dem).

There is scarcely a possibility that if all
the votes that could be mustered for the
free and unlimited coinage of silver in
the entire union could be concentrated on
one presidential candidate he could be
elected. How hopeless, then, will be the
attempt to carry the presidential election
for the silverites when there will be no
such concentration.
The democrats will put up their man at
Chicago. The silver republicans and pop
uliSts, in all probability, will join forces
ana nominate Senator Teller, who is a re-
publican in all other respects except on
the silver question. Thus there VIII be a
division of the silver forces, and a conse-
quent defeat. There can be no general
coalition of the silverites, because there
are too many chiefs ambitious Of advance
ments. The silver cause is by no means
made up of disinterested patriots. Its va
rious leaders and its rank and fife are by
no means free from selfish designs and.
under the circumstances, it viii be impos-
sible for them all to come together for tba
good Of the cause.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
what Took Him ,Abrood.

A Catholic priest of Boston is fond of
telling a story at his own expense, SAYS
the New York Tribune II was coming
out Of church week or two ago" he
says and directly in front Of me were
two old women who did not know that
| was within earshot. And did ye know.
Mrs Mulligan, that Father Blank was
go-n' to EuropeF said one to the other.
Indade, did not, thin, Mrs. McSwipes.
an what's takin' him thereg was the i'm
mediate query. My 10 cints and your
10 cints Mrs Mulligan. and that's w6st's
takin' him aboord a Coonarder,' replied
the Informative dame with a significant
toss OF her gray head.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29

Rumors have been circulating in New
York for some time to the effect that
Count Castellane, who married Miss Anna
Gould, has about run through the for
tune that came to him with his bride.
and that ne has employed an agent to
see George and Edwin Gould and try to
induce them to let him have more cash.
The rumors go on to say that the Count
Hss Castellane is not well pleased with
her matrimonial venture. and that she
will probably shortly arrive in New York,
without her husband. The stories have
been denied, naturally. but there are well
Informed people In New York who be-
heve the foundation for then. is good
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
The Cotton Mills.
Springfield Mass.) Republican Qnd.)

The cotton mills both here and in the
south have fallen upon a great glut in the
goods market and now are planning an
extended restriction of production. This
is no new experience with them. The ca
pacity of the machinery in use greatly
exceeds the consumption of the country.
If not a dollars worth of cotton goods
were imported the mills in existence now
could still supply the needs of the country
and then take a months vacation. The
prevailing hard times have reduced the
demand for cottons below the normal
probably, but Over-production rather than
under-consumption is the main cause
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
CURRENT COMMENT.
"A Cause Worth Fighting For,
Louisville Courier-Journal Dem).

"A cause worth fighting for is worth
fighting for TO the end" 1t is a poor fight
er who only fights when he is sure of vic
tory. Besides, there are other things than
victory to fight for Indeed, there are
times in the history of parties when de-
feat is more worth fighting for than vic
tory. If the sound money democrats can
not win a victory at Chicago they must
make such a fight as TO show the country,
what is undoubtedly the case, that no
party, or faction of party, can carry
this country for free silver and perdition.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-06-29
Mckinley a weak Man.
From the Birmingham News Dem).

Mckinley, it is said. was given much to
making promises while he was governor.
He promised the oil inspectorship a fat
state office, to five different men. Two of
them made it so warm for him that he ask
ed the legislature to create two oil inspec-
torships. which was done, and both men
were provided with jobs. 1t is said that
his weakness along this line cost the state
of Ohio dearly. 1t was promise making
that caused Mckinley to- be bankrupted
individually.