New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-11-14
THE TALK or THE DAY.

Before election. gold in stockings: after election
gold In stocks.
snin,cfog-r have had my gcncalosy traced by an
cru"rf Mr. o;roper and he assures me- that my
ancestry runs back directly to the Mayfower. =,
have had your ancestry traced back to william the
conqueror. nj the very least ana ne a. nave "o'" "
for hall the money. -N}oston transcript
There are four livings In the English church
worth A llttlc less than so a year each. To call
such parishes "lvinss' seems trine inaccurate
FRS, Trapsien,f you had cho got to go into bust
second Du,o-Id open an employment agency
Mou,' p' vlDg any temptation to do any your
sclf.-,i5oston Transcript
West Kccnc n H.. has named one OF rs streets
Mcklnloy-st
smith nobody ever looks that way who has fallen
in lighting for his bride Can't you give a more
lifclike Improvisation OF corpse '-,f Heseh"e
Bntter.
THE Hartford Courant' tells IA story OF Yale In
tn. old days The bows used to bride the printers
devils" to get proofs of the examination papers
for them. When the college authorities put "A stop
to this practice bright Idea seized one fellow. and
he saved the whole suffering party. He hired one
OF the printers dt summer TO wear "A pair Of
white trousers tho office and at noon TO sit down
on the form In which locked the precious
sold for a deal more than the clothes were worth
I'm their original spotlessness. and relief Sc
cured
Disprovcd- She-Havc you always got TO stop In
n saloon on your way home Haven't you any SELF
control?
Hc-Why my dear always pass by six saloons
and only go into one. Don't you call that self
control?-, Flicgendc Blatter.
c. r. Sims the newspaper man and playwright;
OF London tells good story about Switzerland. A
referendum approaching It's completion: the
votes had been given. and the chairman was ready
to declare the figures. In this momcnt OF anxious
expectation when the fortunes OF the country were
at stake voice from the public gallery was heard
CRYING. Waiter" The result was instantaneous
The Whole sovereign assembly Of the Swiss people
rose TO It's feet man and answered. Yes
sir"
Doubtful vcnture.-"There Is such thing"
remarked the proprietor of the shaving parlor. 'as
is to result from the election Of Mckinley
business IS picking up eve r,v; ..,
mine I'm afraid he's too creduous. He's san
guine that his going TO open up barber-shop in
Observation-Disclosures Star
or the 1873 members of the next Wisconsin I.egis-
Iature only sixteen will he Democrats.
Bobblcs-I hear YOU are in business for yourself
Virgins thought was: but from the little
get out of It. 1t appears that am in business for
other peOple.-tBoston transcript
Casslus Marcelus LOOMS. OF Chicago tells ..'rhe
Chicago Tribune" how he found out what his mid
die name and that of Cassius NJ. Clay was At his
birth he named Cassius NJ. after Clay But -
he says. mo one thought to inquire what the lei
ter stood for In the name Tine ran on for some
thrty-eight years when the newly born having
inherited an inquisitive turn Of mind. wrote Mr.
clay for the desired information Mr. Clay re-
Sponded, sending his namcsake II photograph of
himself and friendly note In which, instead OF
stating directly what his middle name was. he
quoted two lines from Pope's Essay on MAN.
And true JOY Marceus exed feels
Than Caesar with Senate at his heels
and added: You will find your name In the above
coupet.'
The Feminine Instnct.--"I admit that as yet
woman Is not absolutely certain OF her sphere. ;"
said the high-browed lady.
II thought az much" said the base man. III she
felt that II was really and truly her own she would
already have had II decorated with pink ribbona
III 1iouaDolis Journal