davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
viii. COUNT THE NOSES.
or All the People Of the World
in 1000.

~
A great undertaking has been plan.
ned to mark the closing Of the nine.
teenth century, being no more nor less
than a count Of all the people in the
world atrthe same time. in order that
the present century may turn Y to
its. successor an account OF stock, as 1t
were. The magnitude OF the task may
be seen from the fact that six years
have already elapsed since the taking
Of the last cepsus of the United States
and the last reports have not yet been
published. aAt this rate. how long will
1t take to'glye to the world the results
Of a census az the whole world?
The scheme got its real inception at
the biennial meeting OF the Interna-
tional Statistical Institute. recently
held ut Bernes Switzerland. At the in
stance Of DR.. Guillaume, director OF the
statistical office Of the Fedora! Govern
ment, a committee OF distinguished sta
tisticians, scientists, travellers and geog-
raphers was appointed to begin the
work by collecting all the information
possible as to the best methods OF TAX
ing this WORLDS census. and to report
TO the i~nstitufrtat its meeting next year.
The populatihntof the earth is now es-
tin,ated at 1.TAp, COZ, 1000. These figures
were given sbTs Profs. Benin and Wag-
ner, OF the University of Gottingen.
who have 'fron6 year to year published
their calculations in a journal called
Die Revolkerung der Erde. Their esti-
mates are based upon the best informa-
ton. Yet Benin and Wagner frankly
acknowledge that they have had to fill
up many Of their columns with nothing
better than guesses-guesses founded
upon the dissertations of travellers, and
upon other guesses mentioned in trea:.
les: given by SUCH countries as China,
Persia, Arabia, Turkey.
IN the most populous country Of the
world, China, they state that their fig
ures may be 2OO. O.OOO more or less
than the actual number Of people. In
Africa they may be some 100000
astray, and In Asiatic Turkey. Persia.
Siam and Afghanistan the figures are
probably equally uncertain. China.
they are now assured. will take an off,
cial census and the governments OF
Turkey, Persia, Siam and Afghanistan
will also be asked to give their assist
ance to the agents Of the institute, with
a view to making some districted enum-
Grafton Of their peoples. The accom-
plishElent Of this will require a large
amount Of diplomacy, as well as Of
money, and the widest possible knowl-
edge Of these alf-barbarous localities.
The most important feature Of this
worlds census will be the synchronous
counting of the civilized people of the
earth. The plan is to have all the
States Of Europe and America, and all
the colonies and dependencies Of civ
ilized governments, and such States as
Japan, make a comprehensive and uni
form enumeration of their population.
their industries. homes, families, re-
ligions and a hundred other minor fea-
lures. and to make a uniform table en-
bracing every point needed to be COM
piled in the different languages. and
submitted to the various governments.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
A Brides Letter.

A Brides Letter.
There is only n way to act at a ru-
neral and only one way for a bride to
write a letter-she always says she is
perfectly happy and that her husband
Is the best man in the world. We sup
pose that a bride really thinks for two
or three weeks that her man is all right
--Atchison Globe.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Signs Of the Times.

Business is very poor" sighed the
archaeological expert. 'but / try to
put a good face on it,"
II have to put my best foot forward
myself" said the pedicure.
my business used to be a paying
one. Clipped in the chiropodist, but
To- too many people have a hand in
it."-New York Press.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Wenried.
She takes very little interest in pub
lie questions, and her father and
brothers had disturbed her reading.
"Dear me-" she exclaimed, do stop
talking about Mckinley and Bryan.
Anybody would think, from the way
you keep discussing them that they
were baseball Observation-Disclosures
Star.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Bobby-Pa, they call lawyers legal
lights, don't they? Pa-Yes, Bobby.
Bobby-Well, pa, why amt Mr.. Edison
an electric light?-Judge.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Every woman who has fallen of in
her looks has an indistinct idea that
shaving for some man caused it.-At.
Gibson Globe.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Mrs. WlnaIow's SOOTHING SYnuP Tor Childres
eeethin9: oottens tile gums. reu,lces
sllays rain. cures Wind collie, = cents . bottle.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Fool Him.

Spirit lat the Lily Dale seance)-
Don't you know me? l am the spirit
Of your mother-in-law.
Investigator-You can't fool me. My
mother-in-law always brought her
trunk with her.-BuffalO Times.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Thn Reyerse.

Col. Bomb-I tell you, the country II
going to the devil.
Misby-Oh, no; this is the time Of
year, my boy, when the devil goes to
the country.-New York World.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

There is no excuse Tor any ma to ap
pear IN society with . grizzly beard sine
the introduction OF B~uckingham's Dye
which colors natural brown or black.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Greater stu

4 Greater SIN.
my papa" said the Senator's ION,
proudly, helps makes the laws"
"My papa" retorted the Federal
judges son, 'unmakes the laws and
nobody helps him, either.
Century.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
the Speake

Guying the Speaker.
Small Orator-When I think Of the
'orrible consequences Of drink, gen.
tlemen, l boil, gentlemen, I boil.
One of the Crowd-But 1t dinna take
muckle to max q wee kettle bilel-St.
Paul's.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Her Sweet Friend.

Miss Antique can't help wonder
ing who that old gentleman can be who
has been staring at me all this even
Ing.
Miss Trankly-Why, that is Prot. Nu-
mis-, the most celebrated antiquarian in
the city.-BOston Globe.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Not Music.

II suppose you have music at the
hotel?"
"No, but we have q band."-Har.
per's Bazaar.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

All that zee can say "A to the merits OF Dobbins' Elec.
tric Soap pales INTO M0thingness before the story IL VIII
tell you itseU, OF its own perfect quality, II you will give
II one trial. Don't take imitation. There are lots OF
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Two bottles of Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton cured me of a bad lung trouble.-Mrs.
]. Nichols. Princeton. Ind, Mar. 2G. '95.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
A Fairy Story

A Fairy Story.
Willy-Grandpa, tell me q story.
Grandpa-Once upon a time, before
people thought of marrying for money
Willy-Oh, I don't a fairy story.
-Norristown Herald.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

The crown of C%hosroes, the King Of
Persia, was hidden in an Arabian fort
ress. and remained concealed for near
ly 1.OOO vpa rs
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Preparing for Emergencies.

Preparing for Emergencies.
Jane-Eow did you ever happen to
fancy such a man?
Lanra-Why, you see, Mrs. Wheels
has asked us to go Summing next fall
and I wanted a husband whose clothes
I could wear.-Cleveland Post.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
why Borrow Trouble?

She-Two weeks from to-day Wen
be one.
He-Well. let's be happy while we
can.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
per's Bazaar

Phrenologist examining Rooney's
head)-Now, this large, well-developed
bump right here denotes combative-
ness.
Rooney-Schure and that's no lie fer
yez. professor. 1t wor in a ft Of COM
.bativeness lasht night that Katie, ME
wolfe, hit me acrass the hid wild the
schtove poker and raised that protuber.
ance.-Up to Date.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

The ovation crown In Rome. was
made of myrtle. An ovation was q
lesser species of triumph.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
No Alternative.

"Dosby, you're paying dear for that
rich wife Of yours by having to stay
at home every night"
lit vas either that or go to work, my
boy."-Detroit Free Press.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF
VARIOUS HuMORlSTS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World lycr-say iug s that Are Cheer.
full to Old or Young = Funny
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

The civil crown was u Roman honor.
given to the soldier who saved the life
of a citizen by Staying an enemy.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

The Prussian crown Is very plain,
the royal house of Prussia having been
celebrated for It's economy.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Cascarets stimulate liver, kidneys an,
bowels Never sicken. weaken or grippe
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

The English ducal crown has eight
stra wberry leaves round the rim.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

When bilious or costive eat q Cascnret,
candy cathartic; cure guaranteed: 10. 25c.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Just try u lOc box of Casca rets, the fin.
Est liver and bowel regulator .ver made.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
A Lesson in Diplomacy.

n Lce8OH IN m
Mrs. Hendricks {proudly walking out
Of the sewing room)-Well, Percy, how
do you like my boomers?
Mr.. Hendricks--Oh, they do very
well; but, dear me, how much older
than usual they make you look.
On the following day a neat pack
age, intended for the far-away heath
en-, vas forwarded from the Hendricks
home.-Cleveland Leader.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Depeuds on the Litcrature.

Depends ON the Literature.
Dukane-Do you believe that read
ing makes n full man?
Gaswell-It depends to some extent
on the literature. Some reading is
mighty dry.-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tel
egraph.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Literally True.

II understand, then," concluded the
interviewer. "that your success was
achieved at a bound?'
The India rubber man nodded his
head gravely.-Rockland Tribune.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Weary Watkins--Ain't you afraid Of
havin' 'pendicitis?
Mosely Wraggs-No. Why?
Weary Watkins--Thought maybe
you were. You're lookin' so seedy.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Another Difference.

Watts-I guess 1t is a fact that there
Is no difference between genius and
insanity.
Potts-There is some. anyway. Man
can't very we'll get out of q murder
scrape on the plea that he is a genius.
indianapolis Journal.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Nc Time to Waste.
views on bringing up q fam

She-Never mind your views. I'll
bring up the family. You go and bring
up the coal.-Chips.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
Hard Luck.

THAT was tough on Davis"
WHAT"
HE stepped on a banana peel, fell,
and was arrested for giving a street
performance without a license
Truth.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12
With Receptions.

The L. Al. w. Bulletin says ! woman
can be just as lndylike on a wheel &C
she can in q carriage.
Yes. hut what happens when the
wheel strikes q bowlder?
II that q ladylike WY q di1xncuns5
-Cleyeland P1aindealer. .
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Not a Bit.
Amicus-Why do you use the ex-
preston funny joke? Aren't all jokes
funny?
Editor-Not by q long shot. The Jokes
that other fellows get off at your ex.
pense r never funny.-Truth.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12


She-Dearest, am | the first girl you
ever loved?
He-Little swe I. the man who
could look into trusting blue eyes
and tell a falsehood Is not at to live.
So prepare yourself to hear the truth.
You are.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1896-11-12

Celebrating in 1897 its seventy-frst birthday,
THE COMPASSION offers its readers many excep.
tionally brilliant features. The two henispl,eres
have been explored in search of attractive ulAltex.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27

London, June GA hastily summon
ed cabinet council met at the Foreign
office this afternoon and sat for an hour.
1t Is rumored that Rt Hon A. j. Bal
four, first lord OF The treasury, and the
government leader In the House OF
Commons, has resigned from the cabi-
net.
The rumor OF the resignation OF Mr..
Balfour cannot be confirmed.
When the House OF Commons resum-
ed its sitting in committee OF the whole
on the education bill to-day, Mr.. Bal
four moved that the chairman leave the
chair, which motion is equivalent To
dropping the bill for the present session.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27

Capetown, June 20.-Dispatches re-
ceived here from Buluwayo show that
the revolt of the natives in the UNTIL
district of Matabeleland is of the most
serious nature. The bodies of thirty or
forty murdered whites have already
been discovered and patrols have been
sent to warn the settlers, who have
been ordered to the Laager at Fort Sal
isbury, which is itself considered to be
in danger.
Sir Frederick Darlington is sending
reinforcements from Mashonaland and
has asked the authorities of Cape Col.
ony to dispatch force of 200 mounted
infantry to the scene of the disturb
ance.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27

Professor Snow OF the Kansas university
one OF the most eminent entomoiogists of this
country, writes TO Denver inquirer that
very simple way to destroy the ants which
Unrest the lawns Is to punch a number OF
holes In the mes. by means OF pointed stick,
pour teaspooufdl Of bisulphIde OF carbon
down each hole and then cover the whole
nest With damp blanket for few minutes.
The blanket being removed the blsulphido
mouth OF each hole by means of a light on
the end Of pole The light explosion drives
neis OF the. nest, killing on the ants In enor-
nous numbers
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27
enger transportation may ind a perma.

enger transportation may find perma-
nent abode in this city. IL the test IL
successful Should the motor demon
strate its efficiency, battle royal win
be begun between compressed air and
electricity which may end in the abol
ishment of the trolley.
The test is TO be made over the tracks
OF the General Railway company, and
will continue for three months.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27
pt-ANs OF GOLD DEMOCRATS.


Washington. June 22.-Adminlstra.
ton Democrats here are cooperating
with w. G. Whitney in New York in
his effort to stem what is termed the
silyer tide and TO change the apparent
afiyer complexion of the Chicago con-
veation into one for gold. The first
pr4rtical move In that direction made
hofe has been TO secure list OF all the
deleEates-elect to the Chicago conven-
ton More than two-thIrds of these
bnve been chosen. All the delegates
chosen who are either Instructed for
sitver or are believed to incline to silver
VIA at once be communicated with per-
sonnlly. These delegates for weeks
past have been receiving Sound mon.
ey' literature from the New York and
Boston reform clubs, but they will now.
II Is asserted, be consulted by letter.
Efforts viii also be made to ascertain
their standing in their communities and
what influence, II any. OF a local or ma.
tional nature, can be brought to bear
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27

Washington. June 22.-The first OH
cial report that has reached here OF
the great Japanese earthquake and It'd
al wave. came to-day to the state de,
partment from Mr., Herod, secretary OF
our legation at Toxic, in the following
brief cablegram which. however, make
the calamity out to he much worss
than heretofore reported.
Deaths caused by tidal wave estlm
ated at over 10000 In reports up to
date. No mortality among Americans .
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27

on them to change their views on the
money question. TO this end. promi
nent bankers and merchants in the
communities in which the delegates re
side will be written TO for Information
and when In hand, this information
with any political pressure that can
be brought from their fellow Demo
Gratis locally or nationally. will be nth
lied In the direction OF the welhknowr
views OF the administration.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27
spain !. Preparing for War.

London. June PA dispatch to the
Mail from Madrid says: The platform
adopted in St Louis causes great I'M
easlness in Spain and it is feared the
conflict with the United States has al
most a fixed date. The government has
fastened TO buy two l2.Oo0-ton iron
clads at Genoa, whose price a few days
ago was thought 10 be excessive A
great part OF the loan OF 100000, 900
placetas made by Rothschild on the AL
MAIDEN quicksilver mines win probably
be Immediately applied to such war
ships as are now for sale. The govern.
ment, responding TO the undoubted
national sentiment and trusting pruba.
bly, 10 the help of other powers, seems
resolved to resist American positions.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27

London, July 22.-The Trinity Hall
crew were the first TO take the water
for practice to-day. The Yale men filed
out at IL: 20 O'Clock. and rowed an hour
at n twenty-sIx stroke The Leander
Boat Club crew made its first appear.
ance on the river to-day and rowed In
practice at twenty-eight stroke.
Bob Cook coached the Yale men on
length OF stroke and clean finish to-day.
The crew is very notieeably improving,
and English oarsmen now praise their
heightened stroke. which Is no longer
considered Ike Cornelrs.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27
WAGON MAIL COLLECTIONS.
a View Method Of Rapid Handling to Is
Tried.


Tried.
washington. June 22-Continuous
daytime collection OF mails In big eli
les with the size Of various districts
doubled and the sorting Of mall In the
collection wagons ready for railroad
dispatch without passing through thu
postofiice. Is contemplated In an eN
perimentai scheme the postoifice de
partment Will execute soon. probably
in both Washington and New YORK.
The plan as now designed and OF which
Second Assistant Postmaster General
Nelson IS author. is an entirely new
one.
The large collection mall wagons,
manned by postal clerk and driver
and equipped with the regulation sort
Ing boxes and mail pouches, and each
drawn by two horses, win make a con
tinual round OF the collection places
throughout tho day. The outside mail
as gathered viii be sorted and deliver
ed direct to street car mail lines or
other means of directly reaching the
depots, while local mail Will go to the
city delivery department OF the post
Office. This system viii secure sig
nificant saving of the delay in trans
mission.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27
shower of Toai..

Chicago. June 22.-ResIdents OF Stony
Island avenue from sixty-frst to Sixty.
seventh street witnessed a rare freak
Of the storm yesterday. For several
minutes a shower OF small toads fell
in that vicinity and no end of wonder
ment was caused AT the end Of five
minutes the streets looked Ike an Ar
kansas swamp. Toads hoped here
and there. some OF them making thelr
way into stores and residences, while
others disappeared in Jackson Park
Those remaining In the street after IN,
rain had subsidized were gathered up by
the children in the nelghborhood.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1896-06-27

Canton. o., June 22-After a refresh,
ing rain last night II was an Inviting
morning for an outing. and iu4uediate-
y iu.gJWinE the breHEfasf hour. Gor
efao5 ard Ms Mckinley t7ok driv
with G,nesai AMI Mrs Eusscll Hastings
who VII depart Tor home to-day. alts
being "a 81 a, the Mckinley house
since LAST Thurs lay. The morning mall
brought in letters which were stacked
on The desks at the governors house in
piles a yard high Private Secretary
James Boyle win reach Canton thIs
morning from Columbus and locate
here for the campaign Mr.. Abner Nc,
Riniey. the governors brother, leaves
for New York this afternoon, and Na
tionai Chairman NJ a. Hanna VIII
reach Canton from Cleveland at 1:Io