The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-12-30
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1T WAS NOT GENERAL.
And Therefore Captain Porlake Refused
to Fire Another Gun.

And Therefore Captain forlnke Neiuseo
to Fire Another Gun.
They had been telling stories OF
their old army experiences. They
were all gathered about the big
round table in the club cafe, and each
man there had got his share of the
grinds. 1t was the last story but
one that suggested this one which
Major Pembroke told about his old
friend, Captain Porlake of the-th
artillery.
Porlake was stationed at Fort Ad-
ans in Boston harbor. Near the
fort there is a place where, owing to
the position of the islands and the
peculiar conformation of the shore,
there is always a deep, strong eddy,
no matter which way the tide sets.
The eddy is well known because the
body Of nearly every person drown
ed along the shore anywhere near
it is recovered there. 1t happened
that one afternoon small party OF
men came to Captain Porlake, who
was commandant of artillery at Fort
Adams, and told him that a friend
of theirs had been drowned a few
DAYS before and that they had been
unable to recover the body by the
usual methods of dragging and using
graphing irons. They recalled the
fact that bodies will sometimes come
to the surface if gun is fired over
still water, and they asked Captain
Porlake if he would send a detach-
ment of men with a gun to help
them recover their friends body.
Captain Porlake had been spend
ing the morning at the club and
was in very good humor.
Certainly, gentlemen, he said
in answer to the request. I'll 60
myself. !"
So he did, with a gun and its crow,
in as much state as if he were going
to dress parade. Arrived at the
proper place, with the deep eddy just
offshore, Captain Porlake went
through the placing and manipula-
ton of the gun with all the eprecision
of military formality. The man who
had asked his assistance looked on
in amazement, while tho captain
shouted his orders:
Timber! Load! Point! Fire!
The echo of the big guns report
had hardly died away when one OF
the watching friends saw the little
commotion on the surface OF the
eddy that indicated that q body had
come to the top in response to the
shot. Captain Porlake saw it, too,
and, with smile and a suave wave
of the hand, said:
"There heis, gentlemen. Brought
him the first time
Then, when the civilians were get
ting out their boat to recover the
body, the captain turned to his men,
and shouting "Unlimber!' prepared
to return to the fort. Just as he
was about to give tho order to
march one Of the civilians came up
and said:
"We are very sorry, Captain Por-
lake, but this is not the body of our
friend. Everybody who is drowned
near here comes to this eddy even
tually, and our friends body must
be here. Would you mind firing
another gun2"
"Limber!' shouted the captain,
by way of reply. LOAD! Point!
Fire!'
Civilians and soldiers both watch
ed the effect of this shot, and all saw
at the same time two bodies reach
the surface.
There, gentlemen" exclaimed
the affable captain. "Take your
pick
Then he turned to. the return
march again. Just as his men were
starting one of the civilians ran up.
Captain Porlake,'' he said, "we
are very sorry to trouble you again,
bu,; neither of these bodies is that
of our friend. Many men are drown
ed near here every summer. Is it
asking too much to ask you to fire
one more gun2"
"Sir," he said to the astonished
civilian, "do you think this is a
general resurrection? Forward! !!
March New York Sun.