Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-11-05
The JOKER'S BUDGET.
Safest Way--.D spendsd on Circumstances
-.-Just Like Her .--Not lmprobabIs--.A
Modest Photographer.

| "sOooot FUotokSapnC5s
| SAFEST WAY.
s'Mother, may 60 out to fiy~
''Yes, dear. Climb some mound,
Get into your flying machine
And stay right on the ground"
DEPENDED ON CIRCUMSTANCES.
Chicago Girlr-Would you marry him
II you were in my shoes,
New York Girl-lf wanted to keep
house in them.
JUST LIKE HER.
He-She asked me what color of hair
liked. 49,
She-Thats just like Maude; she's al
ways so ANXIOUS to please.
NOT IMPROBABLE.
Sobersides-I had an uncle who knew
week before the exact dag and hour he
was to die
Wagstaff-W Who told him The Sheriff!
MODEST PHOTOGRAPHERS
Mrs. Dearborn-Will my feet show?
Ph0tographer-Oh. mercy. no, Pm
not going TO make the portrait as big as
that!
THE TIE THAT BINDS
Benedict-Why don't you get married,
old man! The matrimonial knot is rs
easily tied as that one you're putting in
your cravat.
Bachelor-Yes. that's good smile;
one generally gets it in the neck with
both.
HE PROMISED WILLINGLY.
''Didn't see you pitching pennies with
that little Sprankle boy"
"Yes'm."
swell, don't you do it again Do you
hear me?'
''Yes'n. won't do it no more. He
hain't got a cent left
MEANS lHR SAME.
Mamie: There is nothing like having
two strings TO your bow.
Alice: What's the matter with having
two beaux on your string!
AND THEN SHE WASN'T PLEASED.
She (proudly)-Ycs; l made the cake
with my own hands,
lie (most inaptly)-Such fair, soft
hands! Who would have guessed their
strength?
CUID PRO QUO.
Muggins Gin hot chase OF a mani: Stop
him! Stop him! Hes got my pocket
book! Stop him!
Spectator with sporting proclivties):
That's all right, old man He's giving
you run for your money
THwARrRD AMBITION.
She-You did startle me. I thought
You were dead.
He(a trifle bitterly)-I declare you SEEM
quite disappointed. Pm not in Africa
She (apologetically NO; l don't mean
that. Only do so want to see ghost
HIS TINE OF MED.
"Poor fellow. II you have been so
long out Of work you must actually need
bread"
mo. ma'am. Inever do when am
out of work."
''Never do what?"
'.Knead bread. am baker"
SAME OLD JOKER.
"Bluely's impecunious brother writes
that he is In hard lines now aud that he
deserves something better because for
every hair in his head he ha, done some
BeutrOus anu expensive act.
''Hes the same cultivated rascal. The
fellow is as bald rs a door knob"
MAN AT TIE TABLE.
Waiter. these eggs are hard a, a brick.
You must have boiled them more than
three minutes.
Waiter-les, sir; the boss has told us
always to do more than is asked of Us,
and in that way the trade will be built mp.
You only asked to have your eggs boiled
three minutcs; but to show our willing
ness to accommo late an to make things
agreeable, we boilei them six minutes.
STAYING QUALITIES.
She bowed her blushing face upon his
shoulder. When she raised it the telltale
flush had vanished.
That is to say, 1t was no longer on her
face but 1t took professional scourer
and dollar and u half to get il off his
coat.
SON OF THE SOIL.
~ son of the soil" shouted the
unkempt and grimy campaign speaker.
''Yes. and I'm sorry for you." ex-
claimed one OF his hearers; ''for see you
have your father on your hands!"
PROBABLY sHR WILL
Sally Gay. II haze just been reading
that a well. known scientist predicts that
man will presently reach q condition
where he will he toothless and hairless
and walk on all fours.
Jack Swift. And will woman con-
tinue to pursue what is left OF him with
the same avidity as of yore?
Tommy Atkins in India.