The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1896-04-02
to be what I call a model topic, and one in
which we cannot fail TO have the greatest in
terest. Let US hear from the great army of
silent &C. on this subject. Granger Girl.
&C. CHRONICLES
By Blue jay.
CHAPTER l.

&C. CHRONICLES,
BY Blue Jay.
CHAPTER ].
Now it came to pass in the days of Katherine
| the Good who was Queen over the great country
called &C land, there dwelt in one of her West.
cru Provinces certain youth called Onronly-
amos which being interpreted meaneth unut-
terable things.
Now Ouronyamos was wise man and
learned though his years were few. and his
fame extended far and wide. even unto the ut
teinost parts of the kingdom. Whereupon
katherine the Queen spake unto herself and
said
Verify so great and wise man seemeth
good in my sight. And so it came TO pass that
she sent unto him aud bestowed upon him the
| Secretaryship of the kingdom and delivered to
him the great seal ana the books wherein all
the affairs OF the empire were writ.
! Therefore there was great rejoicing in the
land. and the peonle said one to another, Now
shall we thrive and become greatand powerful,
and good fortune shall attend US. For 10!
! 0uronlyamos has become one of the chosen,
and he hath much knowledge and many vir-
tues and is a man of genius withal."
And il came TO pass the people said,
the kingdom grew and waxed strong among
! the nations of the earth, and her people were
! famed for their truth aud wisdom and many
| good works.
CHAPTER II.
And it came to pass that Ouronlyamos
wrought many changes for good and TO the adj
vantage of the people, working carly and late
and stayed not his hand. Many times and oft
the midnight oil burned in his sanctum where
he abored and spared not.
Therefore, once every year the good Queen
held q council aud all the people were bid. and
many came, and there was great rejoicing and
,uel,fa o,,l o,l tboh u;iJ
ings of the city wherein tho council was
held were gay with flags and bunting, and
from all directions came music and the sound
OF marching, and the young men wore badges,
yea many badges, and the madcns adorned
themselves with the National flower called the
forget.me.not, and they all sang together and
made merry.
And tho people made known their desires.
and whatever deemed for their good
granted unto them. And no voice carried more
weight than the great Secretary's and no man
was more sought after.
Now it came to pass in due time, all things
being in order throughout the kingdom. that
Ouroniyamos cast about him seeking diver
sion, for be ii remembered he was young in
years, and aimed not to be old before his time,
and even as other famous men loved Joke so
did he Also
Now, therefore. he held parley with himself,
saying Loi have argued with the yonth of
the land, even taking sides contrary TO my
opinions. drawing them out, whereby / might
learn what manner OF men they were. But,
behold change is good aud there are others.
even the maidens. / would know whether they
have the spirit of their brothers, for woman
OF vivacty is pleasing in my sight, therefore
will incte them to provocation.
WhcreupOn he sent forth proclamation, un-
reasonable and inconsistent, and contrary to
the manifest truth. And as the decree went
forth ho cd tx, lnff l. ,i.,It
eye did open and shut quickly, and he said
" 1t is we'll; and now, therefore, though the
sleeves of our raiment are not vast like n
weman's. yet there is space TO laugh therein"
And he did SO. For 10 a murmur arose and
there was rustling as of the wind, and many
voices made answer, and ali was clamor and
confusion, and 0uronlyamos did hug himself
for joy.
Now. therefore, there were those about the
great Secretary who were in the secret. aud
they laughed loud and long, and whispered
among themselves, and whereas q secret once
tod is no more secret. so the women heard,
and many believed and grew calm and as it
was so is it now.
And TO everything there is a season. and
Ouronlyamos being man of many resources,
they know not what cometh next nor when it
cometh.
Thus endeth the second chapter.
PEPPERY PLEA.
DEAR L.H.W.: Permit veterans little
brother 10 offer p few stray thoughts as he en-
tiers your circle
Havana Girl" says the new woman will not
wed the tobacco-user. That sentiment
heartily applaud. But as / look around me,
and note the crowds of men and boys who seem
to think the most important function of tho
mouth is 10 hold cicaret or manufacture TO-
bacco- juice, j fear her matrimonial prospects
will be exceedingly slim. unless girls become
aggressively hostile to the habit instead OF be-
ing nassively ndi ffercnt. Could not you girls
deal King hlcohOl's fellow monarch very
hard blow ii yoa only half try?
The tObacc0-user does not most generally de-
fend himself lie acknowledges yonr point, or
confesses himself mere slave, or else lodges
your attack with a grin.
DO not vince il he does taunt you about
gum-chcwinr and ught-lacing. If you live in
a glass house get out Of it, aud give him the
least possible excuse for staying i'm his own
filthy den.
Girls are accused of liking 10 see men smoke.
Is there not much truth in this? Then be
consistent. Either use the weed yourselves or
demand higher standard OF manhood Oh tho
part of the sex that is not generally strong in
this one respect.
1t is true. Miss Dare, that Charley will often
act IN the way yon describe, but the room for
Criticism IS large on both sides OF the house.
IL is often true that Sally Ann will spend
dimes faster than Charley ran earn coppers and
by her sIoveniy housekeeping and indigestible
cooking cause him 10 shun his home" aud
perhaps eravitate toward the saloon
When the pot calls the kettle black, and the
kettle :" sasses" The pot, the way is omen for
lengthy display of caustic wit that not only
docs little or good, but lays the critic open
10 tho charge of being of two uniovable
characters-a woman ater or a man.hater
word TO +. l.. Conn: Are you not unduly !
sensitive in regard 10 that criticism? Are not
LII. VS. as human rs other people? Is il pos
sible TO keep Cupid from lurking in ambush +?
Sposin' the &C. is courtn' club" in some
slight degree. Is that any worse than il is for
the managers Of Quaker academy "a Quaker |
Que, mind you to proclaim in their catalog
that they hope the friendships formed in
school may lead to many happy marriages.?
wonder, by the way, il foreign mobiles"
would wed the same American wives they do |
take were it not for the money consideration |
And If America would not be tho gamer by |
the sclf-sale Of these same hcircsses, were it
not again for the wealth thus kindly presented
TO the foreign admirers % Of the Monroe Doc.
trne?
And now, with the fear of Maineiac" " be.
fore my eyes Pm Maineite, too. 1 yet take
refuge behind the signature of
X. L. ID. Pepper.
Drunkenness is "A Disease.
viii send free Book OF Particulars How to |
Cure DRUNKENNESS or the Liquor Habit " with or