The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1896-04-08
TT WAS A BATTLE
III a FIGHT AT THE COURT HOUSE
TWENTY-0NE ARE SLAIN.

TWENTY-FIVE ARE SLAIN.
Judge BaIderstol1 Commands the Boys In
Blue and Judge RugsIes Figures Con
spicuous.y in the warfare-Rodents At
tack the Lawn and the Custodian Con
cludes to Drown Them-Water is Ap
piled and the Rats Come Forth to Nee
Their Doom--One Seeks Shelter in tn,
Garments of a, Lawyer.
There was fun and frolicking on the
village green We sterday and as result
twenty-one dead bodies were laid before
the spectacles of Coroner Rose.
The village g.,een" is the beautiful
lawn surrounding the magnificent cOurt
house and by the care OF Custodian APP
pleing the lawn is. now the pride Of al
true Kansas hearts. The custodian
waters and plucks the weeds daily and
then lays down upon the green sward
and rests of an evening after his days
labor No boy was ever prouder Of a
pair of red top boots, or Texan of his
spurs,athan Comrade Appling is of the
lawn.
Yesterday morning he discovered
something that made his blood boil as
it had not boiled since the time he fol-
lowed Sherman TO the sea. He discov-
cred that some kind Of a Varmint had
played 'havcc with the lawn in certain
places. In fact from the amount of
loose DIRT piled up in the yard TO be
blown about with every wind he was
lead to be lieve at first that the bad boys
of Wichita Of such thing was possible
to find in the city,, had started numer-
ous artificial prospect wells in the beau
t:ful lawn and had not Brother Harmon
happened on the grounds just when he
did, he would have laid the whole thing
upon the newspaper reporters for stir
ing ND such interest in the well TO a
degree that the kids had become i'm
pregnated with the idea. The good
elder suggested that the hose should be
brought forth and a stream of water
turned down the holes.
This was done and there came forth
from the cavtn below rodents by the
score. There awere old rats and young
rats. male rats and female rats and for
a time it looked as though the entire
lawn had been devoted to the culture Of
rats.
XIII them! kill them" yelled Dug
Caldwell. as ne balanced himself in the
air on his crutches and held his feet
above terifirna-
Help cried the custodian and i'm
mediately volunteers responded with
the same zeal that they had done years
before when Abraham Lincoln had call
ed for men to save the country's honor
and the flag.
Judge Balderston and Judge Ruggles
were approaching the court house and
when they saw their comrades blowing,
jumping, paving and stamping the half
drowned rats to death they came 10 his
rescue.
On went the dance, joy was uncon-
fined, but still the rodents came forth
too fast to be utilized by the stamping
soldiers and some one suggested that
the hole be stopped over and that they
pnly be liberated when the dispatchers
were ready.
Judge Ruggles stepped forth, put his
foot over the hole and the rats failed to
come although they could be felt be-
Meath his feet The ground was cleared
and Judge BatderstOn, who had assum-
ed command of the heroic warriors,
pealed forth in laundering tones: Let
them GOMEZ
The foot was raised and again the rats
came forth and the death dance was
resumed with all its vigor when there
arose a cry of distress from the keeper
Of Judge Ruggles told the sad, sad
Of the hole, and glance at the pale face
story.
1t seems that one of the rats when
released from his watery grave at first
made a break for liberty, but Probate
Clerk Enoch had struck at him with a
feminine stroke that made his blood
turn GOLD and in his frantic efforts to
get away from the left-handed strokes
of the clerk he had seized hold of the
bottom of Judge Ruggles' pants. He
could not go up the outside, but sought
q more secreted passage and higher and
higher he crawled, and paler and paler
grew the discipline Of Blackstone.
The rat drew nearer that portion Of
the judges anatomy where patience
ceases to be a virtue. and with a groan
he called upon Judge Balderston TO
come TO his rescue.
Loosen your pants yelled the COM
mander Of the fight Let him out on
top. You can't drive a rat tail fore
most Let him out"
Il can't" pleaded the judge. Don't
you see the women looking. On, what
would my folks say about my dignity.
Can't you hypnotic him." said the
judge, as his blanched checks gliStened
in the sunshine
Here, Enoch, bring your umbrella
and spread it so that the cruel eyes of
the world may be shut out" said Judge
Balderston.
The command was given, the order
obeyed, the rat released and killed, the
judge was saved and the battle was
over. Twenty-one rats were killed
The lawn has been saved and the story
given as above by the county officers at
the court house.