Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1896-06-08
TIGER AND LADY.

TIGER AND LADY.
There may come time in this worl,
when people are civilized, and when Gus
tom houses will be swept from the face O
the earth, but that time, alas! is not yet
We are compelled to open our valises ant
allowa customs official to rummage among
our underwear searching for tobacco ant
such things which he might know, if h
We're travelling man, were deftly con
cealed elsewhere. Each country has it,
own little playful ways pertaining to tn,
collection of duty.
But this story is not intended to hinge
on the customs of our country, and thu
foregoing arc merely moral reflections OF
the manners and customs of nations which
suppose themselves to be civilized. "Man
ners none; customs beastly," was the terse
report of the man who was asked to write
an account of the manners and customs OF
the Polynesian islands, and 1 think the
remark might perhaps be applied to the
revenue departments Of some governments
which it may be as we'll not to name.
Customs are beastly, no matter where one
happens to meet them, and think the man
ners of some continental countries who
order traveller out of train in the mid
die Of the night in order to have his bag
gage examined are the least to be COM
mended. OF course train in Europe is
not very comfortable method of travel
ing at the best, nevertheless sometimes
one does get chance to 60 to sleep on the
night journey, and the brutality of being
routed up to take part in ceremony
which no intellectual man can possibly be
interested in makes sometimes even the
mildest hammered person indulge in Ian
guage that he deeply regrets afterward.
No; this story is not about customs, ex-
cept in so far as the custom house ACCT
dentally intrudes itself. The object of the
narrative is to give an illustration to the
notable remark made by the late Sam
Patch, when he jumped over Niagara falls
namely, that "Some things can be done
as we'll as some Others" and the phrase
may be varied by saying that some things
can be accomplished one way when failure
attends all efforts in another direction.
1t was just 1918 o'clock at night when
the fast train going to Paris drew up at
the frontier. The carriages were of the
corridor pattern, which Europeans vainly
imagine is the American plan. A narrow
passage ran along one side Of the carriage,
and, opening out from this, were num-
Der of compartments, each seating eight
persons. The Lady and the Tiger had
been on the train since 1t started in the
afternoon at o'clock on the previous day,
and SO had choice of places. sat in one
corner by the window, and the Lady sat
in corner opposite. AS the train went
on toward France the empty places gradu-
ally filed up, and now the carriage was so
full that one or two wretched persons were
pacing up and down the corridor or trying
to get places on little uncomfortable hinged
seats attached to the side of the passage
with patent spring somewhere which
made the lid flip up against the wall when
the sitter rose to his feet. I remember
this habit Of the little hinge shelf because
on one occasion when rose to stretch my
self sat down, expecting the seat to be
still there, which it wasn't. l woke up
suddenly on reaching the floor and exam
ined the mechanism Of the continuance
with interest, and perhaps just shade of
The French are reputed to be polite
nation, and although I knew we would
cross the border some time after midnight
and that we would meet the inevitable
custom house, thought tho examination
If baggage would be somewhat superficial,
and that maybe customs officer would
come through the train and look at the
smaller pieces of luggage without disturb
ing us to any great extent. Such, how
aver, was far from being the case. We
we're told rather gruffly that we must
cave the train and that every one must
lake with him his hand baggage. stag
yered out somnolently under the load, and
he Lady was compelled to come also with
couple Of shawl straps, because there
vas more of her luggage than I could
AIRY at one time. We were kept on the
platform shivering with cold for awhile,
hen two big doors were opened, and we
rooped in, placing our impedimenta on
ow bench, behind which stood the uni
ormed French customs official.
When the examination was done and |
he baggage chalked, we had to wait at
he other end of the cold room until other
oors were opened, and then were allowed
0 get out once more to the platform and
nto the train. When I staggered on board
nd passed along the narrow corridor to
ur compartment, thought at first that |
ad made mistake, because an oldish
nan sat in the corner In which the Lady
ad intended to journey to Paris. A Sec
nd look, however, had satisfied me that
his was the compartment we had occu.
led, and said to the man, quite politely,
Dr. thought the taking of another's scat
ad been accidental:
II beg your pardon, but this place be-
,ngs to the Lady"
The man shrugged his shoulders and
nd that he deeply regretted the circum-
jances, but the place belonged to him un-
! we reached Paris, in the morning.
"Oh," cried holly, sthis won't do, YOU
nowl This place is taken and has been
ken since tho train started. You will
ave to get place somewhere else."
III you wished to retain the seat" said
10 man calmly, you should have put
me baggage on 1t. There was nothing
,re when I entered. I have the place,
I'd intend to keep It,"
But" insisted, 1--WE couldn't leave
~ baggage upon 1t because we were COM
lied to take 1t to the custom house."
Again the man shrugged his shoulders.
"That has nothing to do with me" he
Id. The place was empty when took
and intend to keep It,"
Then the Tiger came uppermost.
"The devil you do!'' cried. The Lady
hind me touched me on the shoulder
ID begged that ! wouldn't use violent
nguage.
II shall not use language at all, said
Q Tiger, "but this man has to get out,
I'll throw him outl''
"Oh, you willl' said the Frenchman.
9 You bet your boots, whip said,
rowing down my luggage. "Will you