davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
JUMPERS DEFEAT.
He Invaded the Kitchen and Then Flee
Before the Enemy.

He Invaded the Kitchen and Then Fled
Before the Enemy.
Bridget has been so cross and hate
full and impudent that there's been no
living with her today, said Mrs. Juni-
per when her husband came home the
other evening
"Impudent, Mrs. Juniper?' he re-
piled. "You don't mean to tell me that
you allow that servant girl to be impu-
dent TO vou?"
"Allow her, Mr.. Juniper? That girl
would be impudent to an angel if she
happened to be ON her high horse -
"Well I'm not an angel by long
shot, but I'd like to see her be impudent
to me- and if she's been sauey to you
she II have to apologize for it. -
Don't you go near her while she's
in her present mood You d better keep
out of the Kitchen -
"Well, l think l see myself keeping
out of my own kitchen if want to go
into it. will go into the kitchen, and
I'll yank Miss Bridget O'Galligan down
from her high horse y
Needless of his wifes protests, Juni-
per went boldly out into the kitchen
and said:
"See here, girl, | hear that you've
been impudent 10 your mistress.
''Impedent TO me mistress, is it? Be
dad, an who are you to~1nake hin huz-
zy av yersilf, comm out into me kitchen
to talk to me as ye talk to your wife
TN, iG co.
birrud to say 'impedent' to amy wan,
an if Oh
Look here, YOU
"Oi'm looI1in here all roight, sor!
Dim lookin yeez roight in de DYE, an
it's Bridget O'Calligan who'll take de
opporehewnity av sayin to yer ugly Guild
face phwat she's had i'll moind to say
liver since she KEN into this house, for
Or
"You impudent'-
''Aisy, now, aisy, me foine gintel-
min, or yell lave me kitchen wild "a dip
per av scaldin wather aroun your back
an the feet nv Bridget O'Calligan assist
i'll ye out Whin IA man has the divil S
own tongue i'll is head as ye have whin
things don't go his way, he's no call to
use his word 'impedent' to amy wan,
an whin he filings at me he'll git it STINT
back again, begorry, for it's not me
that's afeard av any two legged thing
that walks the green airth, an SOL
II tell you that
"Oi tell ye to kape yer tongue still
an not chip in whin your betters has
the flure! Open your jaw agin whin u
Teddy is talkin, an DIN mop up me
kitchen flure wild we an pitch We out de
windy aflerward. Oh VIII thatl Oh m
not wan to take thatl Oi'm net one to
take Impotence from the loike av ye, an
Oh
But Juniper had fled up the back
stairs, where he nearly went into an ap-
oplectio fit when Mrs. Juniper, who
had been listening at the head of the
stairs, said between her giggles:
"Well, how did you come out, Mr..
Juniper -Detroit Free Press.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

There is Mrs Malaplop living up
town whose queer blunders i'll her ev-
eryday talk would fill good sized vol
ume, and most of them are funny
enough to deserve publication. She was
telling a neighbor the other day about
friend cf hers who had bought bicy-
Gle. HE went and bought the thing,
said She for $50, and when he went
out to ride it the first thing you know
it fell apart. Why don't you 60 SEE |
to him, and get good wheel and pay
for it on the European plant Yeste1-
day she went over to neighbor house
for recipe for mayonnaise dressing.
She said How dye do, Mrs. Smith?
l want to make chicken salad tonight,
and | thought I'd get you to give me
recipe '-pronouncing it i'll two sylla-
bles-"for Moyamensing dressing -
Last winter her house caught fire and
was slightly damaged. To her friends
she explained that the trouble was caus-
ed by Il disinfected f1ue. On another oc-
casion an accident occurred on the street
were discussing the affair across the
back fence. Il didn't know there was
an accident at all till | heard the ava.
lanche a-comin down the street a-ringin
the bell " She also told Mrs. Smith one
day that she had read i'll the paper that
milk was a good 'anecdote" for poison.
Philadelphia Record.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
The Maine Central.

The annual meeting of the stockhod-
ers of the Maine Central Railroad was
held at Portland Wednesday, and Hon.
j. II. Drummond was clerk. The fol-
lowing board of directors was chosen,
20,7l4 shares being voted. The total
number is 10, 754.
Franklin A. Wilson, Bangor; Payson
Tucker, Portland; Lucius futile, Bos-
ton; Samuel c. Lawrence, Medford,
Mass. Lewis Cass Ledyard, New York
George VI. Pullman Chicago; Henry NJ.
Whitney. Boston; Henry X. Reed. Bos-
ton; William q. Davis. Portland; Joseph
:. Kicker, Portland; Thomas ". Hyde.
Bath; John Ware, Wateryille; Joseph
II. Manley, Augusta.
Mr.. Marley is the only new director.
He takes the place of F. w. Hill of
Exeter.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Sargent s Prentiss was a great law
yer and IN eloquent orator as we'll as o
humorisl, but his humor, though at
times excessive, never obscured his ora
tory or weakened his argument.
He was once engaged in a political
discussion on "the stump with gen
tleman who was wordy, dull and spoke
against time" SO that Prentiss might
speak at disadvantage. 1t was nearly
dark when Prentiss rose, and the same
moment jackass in a neighboring
pound began braying and kept it up un
til Prentiss' friends were annoyed and
his opponents delighted. When the jack
ass stopped, Prentiss, casting a comical
look at his unfair antagonist. said:
II did not come here today to reply
to two equally eloquent speeches. :"
Then he sat down. and his friends car
ried him from the stand in their arms
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
JOy-HO.xie.

There was pretty wedding at the
nome OF Orlando Bowman at North Fair
field, Wednesday evening, when Mr..
Ernest c. Joy, the popular station agent
at Pishon's Ferry, and Hiss Lizzie c.
Hoxie were united in marriage. Miss
Hoxle was graduate of the Gorham
normal school and has been very suc-
cessful teacher. The ceremony was
performed by Rev G. w. Hinekley in
his usual happy manner, in the presence
OF about thirty guests. The wedding
march was rendered by Mrs Inanella
Palmer and the march was led by Mr..
and Mrs. w. B. Blanchard of Watervjlle.
w. b. Blanchard acted as best man and
the ladies' in waiting were Mrs Blanch-
ard, Miss Mary Bowman, Mrs. Ada l..
Goodwin and Miss Maud Hoxie. The
ceremony was performed under a beau
tiful arch of evergreen. The bride was
becomingly dressed in white cashmere
and wore white pinks.
A bountiful collation. followed the
marriage. Many beautiful presents of
cut glass, china, silverware and other
useful and beautiful articles were sent
by the friends of the parties. Mr.. and
Mrs. Joy went to Waterville after the
ceremony and left on the afternoon train
Thursday, for wedding trip through
the White mountains. They will be at
home in pretty residence in East Fair
field after November LIST.
Among those present were Mr.. and
Mrs. Silas Hoxie, Mr.. and Mrs. A. C..
Goodwin, Mr.. and Mrs 6 A. Wing, Mr..
and Mrs. Melvin Palmer, Mr.. and Mrs
John JOY, Mr.. and Mrs. w. A. Goodwin
and Master Earl, and Miss Maud Hoxie.
Cor.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

As matter of fact, and in spite of
its having carried Mohammed in four
leaps from Jerusalem to Mecca, seven
miles an hour is the camel's limit, nor
can it maintain this rate over two hours.
Its usual speed is five miles an hour
"A slow pace, beyond which 1T is dan.
gerous to urge II, lest, as Asiatics say,
it might break its heart and die literally
on the spot.
When camel is pressed beyond this
speed, and Is spent, 1t kneels down, and
not all the wolves in Asia will make it
bulge again. The camel remains where
it kneeIs, and where it kneels it dies.
A fire under its nose is useless. Times
of India.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Senator Justin :. Morrill,, Sc years old,
has just been reelected to the L. $.
Senate by the legislature of Vermont.
He has already held the important posi-
tion for 30 years and before entering the
Senate was member of the House II
years. If he lives to serve out the term
for which he has just been elected, his
service in the Senate will exceed that of
any other man. He is the Oldest man
ever elected to the U. S. Senate but is
well preserved and vigorous in body and
mind.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
Nsllrnt Away In

Chicago. Oct. -0.-Wheat made a roe
ord breaking jump yesterday. The b.
ccmber optinia. which closed Saturday a.
1875, opened yesterday morning at IS
and ~ $. steadying at the latter figure.
an advance of ga cents. The Wildes.
excitement characterized the trading.
There was talk of possible failures as 4
result of the unparalleled advance. After
a momentary reaction to -, December
wheat soon won't beyond the top figure,
at the opening, touching rs high as 7git
several timos within the first l. minutes
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
De,,.,sltors- Ar. >nfe-

Willimantic, Conn. oct. l7.-Bank
Commissioner Edward r. Doyle of Hart.
ford in s~lation IL the state of affairs
in the Willimantie Savings institute
says The depositors III this bank have
become somewhat nervous at reports
which have been circulated in regard
to it's stability. and run has been made
upon the ready cash. The directors
thought it best to take advantage of the
four months law, aud that has been
done. | believe the bank to be perfectly
sound. There Is no defalcation. and the
assets eXcee1 the liabilities "
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
THE WOOL MARKET.

The tone OF the wool market is firm.
and prices are even stronger in some
rases, although the volume of business
shows considerable falling off Many
holders of territory woods have prac-
teally withdrawn their offerings at pres
ant and do not care to place anything
on the market until the result Of the
presidential election is known Ter
ritory woods are yet the principal object
of attention and choice fine medium and
hne can quite readily b. made at 81 ceu rs
on tte secured basis. Fleece woods are
firm, but sales are light. Australian
woods are making a fair showing at firm
prices
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Bangor. Me. oct. 10 The slaughter
of game in the Maine woods has been 50
great since the opening of the season
that many are deeply concerned over
the possible determination of the deer
moose and caribou. The average num-
Der of carcasses that pass through Ban
gor daily is 40 deer There are 70 DAYS
in the open season. and if the average
holds good il will make the total passing
through Bangor about 3i60 deer In ad-
dition to the great number which Viii
be legally killed, there is fully une-half
as many more killed by poachers and
lumbeTmen.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Enfield, Mass. Oct. 20.=Th's town was
visited yesterday by the most destruc-
tive fire in its history. Til, business sec
ton of the town MAS completely wiped
out, and property NdS d. stroyed entail
ing a loss of $4,000. y strong west wind
famed the flames. and the firemen were
powerless to check the progress of the
flames. Aid was asked from surround.
ing towns. and a steamer was sent from
Athoi, which did effective work. MANY
buildings. which caught tire from sparks
were saved.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

North Adams Mass, oct. &c. V
Dibble. aged years Williams. 1900. and
the phenom' al half-baok of the foot
ball team, anne suddenly insane Sat
urday afternoon. His ankle was sprainel
In the game of Oct. 10, and since then he
has resided 18th relatives in this city
He has complained of headache sine
the Harvard game of Oct, J. His ply
stefan thinks he is suffering from al
abscess of the brain, and that his re.
cuVery is doubtful.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
Costly Bottle of Champarns.

Some years ago Mr.. Gladstone had
met possible claimant for IA civil list
pension whom he believed to be in suf-
ficiently poor circumstances and had
almost decided to grant it when he re-
ceiyed an invitation to dinner with the
person IN question. This raised some
doubt III his mind. On the one hand,
should civil list pensionor be able to
afford to entertain? On the other hand.
1t might only pe IA dinner of herbs, and
it seemed hard to deprive public bene-
factor of a pension because he was ready
to share his rust and water Knowing
that Ill amy case there would be a feast
of reason and flow of soul, Mr.. Glad
stone accepted the invitation, and on
the way prGpoupded to his companion
the following test: "No champagne,
pension; champagne, no pension "
There was champagne, and the host lost
his pension. 1t was the dearest bottle
OF wine on record, for it cost the pur-
chaser Gl00 year. London News.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Boston. oct zo.-The 10000 mark has
been reached I'M the membership of the
League of American Wheelmen Thu
number of members elected during the
past month vas 523. making the present
total 1o..O3. New York increased her
lead over all divisions. while Pennsyl-
vania got another lap on Massachusetts,
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Augusta, Me, oct 21.-Harriet Blaine
Beale. with her attorney, Leslie e. Corn
ish, appeared before Judge Whitehouse
of the supreme court yesterday and
Mrs. Beale asked for divorce from her
husband. TruXton Beale. Mr. Cornish
made a brief talk. and the divorce was
decreed.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

The Popocratic managers are making
desperate efforts to find something they
can spring upon the country that will
"Burchardze' William Mckinley. Two
forged letters have already been brought
10 light and exposed. In one of them
the attempt WAS made to make it appear
that Mckinley WAS opposed to pension
ing veterans of the late war who came
from foreign lands. In the other the at
tempt was made to make it appear that
il elected he would favor increasing the
regular army to go, 900 to be used to
cause employees to do the bidding of
employers. More such attempts will
doubtless be made but they will be close
ly looked after by the National com
mttee.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
THE WATCHERS.

o ye whose unrewarled eyes
Forever watch the oceans rim,
Your ships perchanoe meath friendlier skies
Rest far beyond your vision dim.
Perhaps in some sweet bay they wait
Where bides the primal, perfect day,
Where airs from sprinEtime lingeI late
Or never perish quite away.
In some faroff, diviner land
Where never garnered wealth grows old,
Safe harbored they may wait your hand
To strike their sails and yield their gold.
Henrietta Christian Wright in Scribner's
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Republicans of Skowhegan and Somer
set county at the approaching election
should make their best efforts To increase
their plurality of September. We want
to make it in the State an even $4,000 at
least and to do this Somerset should
make her Republican plurality 5000.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
Bnv state cas- Receiyers

Wilmington Del, Oct. 1.-THE United
States court here has appointed ]. \
MeCauleN receiver for the Bay State oiis
company. The receiver was applied f. ,
by a bill in equity brought by William
Buchanan of New York, against the cor
poration. Buchanan is a tobacco mer.
chant, and senior member of the firm
of Buchanan Il Lyall
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Providence. oct. 17-Charles Ander-
son and John Peterson, indicted for rob
berry, We're found guilty 10y jury ycstei-
day. and were each sentenced by Judge
Wilbur 10 10 years in state prison. at
hard labor They held up John Patter-
son on West Exchange street. early in
AUGUST
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

New Bedford, Mass. Oct. Ii Dia
monds value at $1,000 and other jewels
are missing from the residence of Mrs
Edward G. Jones on County street.
Burglars got into the house last night
while the family Was dining. and after
ransacking in pretty thorough manner
the upper rooms, raNed without lear-
Ing cleW. Mrs. Jones has offered .
$500 reward Tor the recovery of tn,
Jewels
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Amesbury. Mass, Oct. 21-Judge G.
". cate has fled a return a salem of an
inquest held on the mysterious death Of
Arthur Robertshaw, March 30 once a
wealthy citizen. Many thought he had
been murdered, Judge cate fou d
death due from an accident. followed bv
eXpOSure.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
THE SULTAN YIELDS.
Armenian Women anh Children AL
lowed to Leave FOR America.

lowed to Leave FOR America.
Washington. Oct l7-Secretary Olne,
Is in receipt of Geographic dispatch
from the United States minister at Con-
stantinople to the effect that he has at
last obtained telegraphic orders from
the Turkish government to permit the
departure for the United States, with
safe conduct. to the seaports. of all the
native Armenian women and children
whose husbands and fathers are in the
United States of America. The subjec,
Is one that has been before the porte,
and for which gratifying result credit
must be given to Mr. Terrell. who has
pushed the matter With cor Aoiouous tact
as we'll as indefatteaLIe z+Hl
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Boston. oct. 11.-Edward L. Wilson, a
member of TN produce firm of Johnson
& Wilson, Was arrested yesterday
charged with tho larceny OF $io.oeo worth
of property in Kansas City Thu arrest
was made IN an indictment warrant
and requisition papers signed by thu
governor Of Missouri
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Frederick ii of Germany was sur
named Barharossa fol the same reason
that William of England WAS surnamod
Rufus on account of an enormous red
beard.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
Death of Wifi. Murderer

Bangor Nj, Oct. 17-Captaiu william
Clark of the schooner Ira laflarier. VII
killed his vile, Lillian y. Clark at thu
home in Hampden ON Thursday aftae.
noon. is dead. He did not regain con
seriousness after he shot himself II WI,
decided. i'm view of tie plain afrcua.
stances of the case. not to hold an H..
quest.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

The Bowdoin foot ball team was too
strong for the Colby team and defeated
them at Brunswick, Wednesday, II to 0.
The game was sharply played and
stubbornly contested
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

The advance In wheat disturbs the
Bryan party but Chairman Jones issues
bulletin stating that it will help their
sluse. He alleges that the advance Is
caused by manipulations of the market
ior political purposes. A very weak
assertion inasmuch as the advance began
On the other side of the Atlantic.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Premier Senior Canovas at Madrid,
denies the report that Spain will a
handon Cuba unless the war is concluded
IN March next, and says it is false and
ridiculous. He further stated that
nothing could exceed the loyal conduct
ot President Cleveland and his cabinet
toward Spain.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

The wheat of southern countries con
tains more albumlnoids than that grown
in temperate or northern zones, and
hence is better suited for the manufac.
ture of macaroni.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Deputy Sheriff MeNalley of kennebee
in the Lewiston Journal resents the i'm
putatlon of the kennebec Journals cor
escape purposely. He says he planned
the attack that resulted in the capture Of
Nelson and takes much credit to him self
for the success thereof. 1t appears that
Nelson did escape when in his care, and,
with a half-dozen men, more or less,
with him there at that time it does not
seem that the escape was necessity.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Wheat is booming. A recent sharp
advance in prices in England has led to
great excitement in this country and an
advance. On Monday in Chicago, wheat
advanced 4A cents from the quotations
Of Saturday and in other markets a
similar advance was reported. Foreign
markets also were IN sympathy with
American trade centers. More wheat
was put afloat in Portland, Oregon, in
two days the first of this week than ever
before 10 that port in the same length of
time, 100000 bushels in five ships. The
excitement in wheat has caused an ad-
vance in ocean freights. This advance
isa grand thing for Western farmers,
and gives healthy stimulus to business
generally.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

Bntchery is the rule with the
Spaniards in their battles in Cuba.
Forty Cubans captured in recent bat
tle were shot on the spot, includ-
Ing four women and child. Ia another
engagement twenty-five were captured
Including three women and they were
promptly shot.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case OF Catarrh that cannot be
cured by taking Halls Catarrh Cure.
+. ]. CHENEY & Co. Props,
Toledo, o.
We. the undersigned, having known F. J.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transactions,
and fnanciylly able to carry out any obligations
made by their hrm.
West X Trua1, Wholesale Druggists Toledo,
Ohio.
Waldiug, kinnan 4 Marvin, Wholesale Drug
gists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Gatarrh Cure is taken internally
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system. Price sc per bot.
tie. Sold by all Druggists.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

The old board of directors of the
Wiscasset and Quebec railroad were
reelected, yesterday.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

1t is asserted that unless Spain makes
decided progress toward closing the
Cuban war within three months the
United States will virtually recognize
Cuba's independence. a high official of
the administration is quoted as authority
for this statement. A cablegram from
Cadiz, Spain, to leading L. 5. Daily is
10 the effect that if Cubans are not con-
quered by March first Spain will give
the island up. Mckinley's certain cleo
ton is assigned as one principal cause
for this decision on the part of the
Spanish government. One or both of
these prospective events ought TO secure
the independence of this brave people.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

According to the reports at the meet
ing of the Grand Lodge at Portland,
four of the eleven Rebekah lodges, |. o.
o. F., instituted in the State were in
Somerset county, viz, Priscilla, No. 60,
Skowhegan; Waverley, No. 20, Pitts
field; Winona, No. II, Athens; Northern
Light, No. rs, Scion. Somerset made a
decided lead over any other county.
The fact that the president of the Maine
Assembly was Somerset lady, Mrs.
Mary l.. Carr of SO. Norridgewock, may
have had something to do with this
marked increase.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22

lndian parents in the Northwest are
inclined to trade off their daughters and
the Government is making every effort
possible TO break up the practice, but
mud 1t difficult matter. An instance
was reported last week. Polly Clement,
daughter of Little Grow, was sold the
10Th instant, near Fort Barthold, \. d.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
THE PRODUCE QUOTATIONS.

Beef-There is a fair trade in beef with
quotations revised. Choice steers S5r
Size; good steers, 112@1aac, light. 619u
he; extra heavy kinds. lie, good kinds,
10c, light binds, SU9i2c, heavy fores,
5l2e; good. NC, light fores DC. backs,
6@1c; rattles. 31aM4c .chueks. 4iam512o.
short ribs. 9nllc; rounds. case, rumps, IL
@l3c; Pumps and loins. l0ml4I2e; loins,
10@16c.
Meal-The market ON corumeal is
firmer and higher With oatmeal very
firm; Barrel curnmcal, 81 50Ml 90; bag
meal, 70m &c. yellow graduated. 81 156t
81; rolled and ground oatmeal. 81 156I
% per Dbl: cut 81 55Mi Is; graham
meal, y 20Gt2 a., rye Hour. s. GaG2 50.
rye. 3SGt10C per bu.
Muttons and Lambs-The mutton mar
ket is dull and rather easy: Lambs, 7@Sc
for choice; Btighto nand fancy. &C. fair
for choice brighton and fancy. Sc fair
to good. GU1c; muttons, 4u6l2c. year
lings, 4n6c; Neals, case. fancy 9@9lac
Oats-oats are 1irmer. Old No ! clipped
to arrive. 30Gt3lc; No. clipped, 29a291 20.
No. > White. 291ecs No. . white. 2IiaM2Sc:
No. mixed. 20 new 30. clipped. - =
Q2Si2c. rejected and no grade. 261sm
27l2c.
Corn-Corn is lirmerWith n fractional
advance i'm the speculative markets.
The Somerset reporter., 1896-10-22
the Somerset Reporter,

the Somerset Reporter,
Weekly Republican Newspaper.
= sutru E. E. McNEELIR.
10. SMITH & CO., PUBLISHERS,
"a WATER STREET, SkoWHEGAN, NE.
orpscRIPTIoN RATKs;-One year $3.50; six
oouths, rs cts, three months, 81 cts, when
ps =, * & will be charged II not paid until the
,nyvarIsMBNrs Business and legal adver-
IN snts inserted at reasonable rates, adjusted
e,,cesouoted on application.
rds of Thanks and Resolutions of Respect
,,.erted at cents per line.
,srxRKp As SECOND GLASS MAIL MATTER,