The evening times., 1896-08-01
MlL0NEI's THREE Votes
Jacky Tells How He Responds
for His Dead Brothers.
NOW HE is FOB FREE SILVER
Henceforth All His Drinks viii he
Silver Fizzes-The Judge Rejected
an Officers suggestion-A Young
Mans First Experience on Spree.
Humor In Police Court.

An enthusiastic "gold bug distributed
,ampaign pastors to the police court pris-
,ners as they stepped out of the Maria this
They read: The Republican
1arty stands for hoDestmoney and chance
o earn it by honest toiI.-willian Nc
kinley.''
Paste 'em in your hats, gents" he said;
they won't do you no harm, and may git
you all II job. Commit 'em TO memory, aud
do all your yellin' for Wnlyum Micklnlee.'
The gold bug, "a thin, lantern ia wed, clean
shaven man, clad in q dirty linen ulster,
wearing piacard inscribed, death TO
l6 TO l, had no difficulty in getting rid
Of the pastors. The prisoners accepted
them mechanically, and they might have
done the same with red-hot stoves, SO anx-
ious are they to get their hands on some
thing.
Back in the cells Mr. j ackey Malone pain
fully spelt out the wording on the paster,
and when he got TO honest toll he in
lignantly tore the paper in fragments.
Whats the matter, Jackey:" asked
the tramp in the cellwith him.
Say, wot der ye thinks, In dat pape de
guy gimme" remarked Jackey, '.dere's
sunipiD' bout work. 1t says 'onest toll
II has been Publican all ME llfe,"
Wcbp Ou JdChty, put~tis yer udiis piHy
settles me. I'm bolter frum Boilers
vile, and de party lose three votes"
JACKEY's THREE VOTES.
..Three votes, How's that" asked the
other. You can't vote but wunce.''
Cant, eh"' grinned Jackey, .ain't
got two ded brudders, and wouldn't dey
vote il dey hadn'l croaked, shure. Well,
the polls in Mareeland, My Mareeland,'
l,rp n. win
pertickler friend OBJ mine an yum, putin
in coke, dey can't break away; SO wat duz l.
do;Ivotes fer 'em.''
But amt dey on to yer mug" asked
the bum.
Not on your boozegraft," said Jackey.
"See long time before lection day grows
galways and chinners, an let's me hair
shake dey-dey at de barber guys
"on me first nash." continued the re-
sourceful Maloney,.I am full of whiskers
Den goes Off an comes back shy Inc side
boards, wild me nut trimmed up little.
Good, dat time; I'm Joseph Ma!oney. Now
git next. l. sneaks fer mower, and W 'en
gives de judges melas' song an 'daDcel amt
got enough woolin 81 glitter see w i'd a telling
scope. I've pushed all me hair an whiskers
on de inside. and1'm Pat Maloney, who's
been de'd tin years. And dat is why Mar
GURUS Eroarybor yealis Hannah gifts de trun
down from de honorable Jacky Maioney,
who from dis day henceness fort drinks
notbin' but ban esses an silver fixes. Now,
goodbye. pard: me name is called, an I'm.
goin' to make a play at the r'yal wearer of
de erming."
Jacxy, ais Snug countenance with fea-
lures as broken as disinterred Pom
peiian statue, yelled not guilty to the
charge of vagrancy preferred by Police
man Emerson.
HE was in an alley on street north
east, your honor" said the policeman,
'.cursing theneighbors becausethey wouldn't
let him sleep on their doorsteps.''
"Jacky," smiled his honor, Il don't sup
pose you have much to say, it is the old,
old story"
Yer amer" replied the new apostle of
free silver, "it's gettin' ter be funny
countree wen man can't rest his legs
fer moment on o doorstep"
REST on your own doorstep" said the
judge, mot on other peoples"
"Jedge, I amt perwided wild door
STEP" explained Jacky, sneaking a leer
at Mike Flynn. me carpenters on a
Jag"
Eyes, and so is his employer" Oh.
served the court, dryly, land / think
thirty days in the workhouse will do him
good"
'T' anks,'' said Jacky. you air very
kind / was hankiu' on gittin' sixty"
Its not too late to change it now,'
said Prosecutor Pugh, so you had better
vanish, Jacky."
Jacky Immediately acted on the hint,
and skipped away with great rapidlty.
1T WAS NOT BEER.
Robert Clements, drunk yesterday, mis-.
took pot OF glue for bottle Of beer, and
In trying to get the top off cut his hand
badly. He ran out in the street, dripping
with blood and cursing wildly in his pain.
Policeman W. W. Wheeler arrested him
for profanity, and attempted this morn.
ing to advise the court how the prisoner
should be disposed Of; advice which his
honor coldly rejected.
Clements, huckster, ordinarily a peace
full citizen, admitted he was drunk. His
hand, severely cut, was swathed in bloody
bandages.
How did you hurt your hand, Cements?''
inquired the Judge.
4 was trying to open glass jar full OF
glue.''
..Glue?" repeated his honor. what did
you want with giue?"
Wanted it to make the whisky stick, ]
guess, laughed Mr.. Pugh.
when were you arrested last?" said the
court.
"a year ago.. answered Clements. ~
have work, your honor; and II you will lei
me go shall swear off,"
II think. judge said Wheeler, stepping
to the desk, 1.-The workhouse would be a
good lesson for him."
"Well, / DON'T cut in his honor, who is
a humanitarian if there ever was one; that
wouldn't be any lesson to a man in his cir
stances.
Clements be said, turning to the pris
oner, trembling with anxiety as to his fate
s.you 90 home and behave yourself, and have
that hand looked after; it needs attention. '
Clements chokingly thanked his honor,
and as he passed out he uet faded
and care-worn woman in the hail, who
had been silently weeping during his trial.
She fervently kissed him, and, the tears
dripping on her cheeks, said to Mike Flynn,
who had a most IN usual and severe attack
of coughing, ''Mr. Flynn, God bless Judge
Miller. He is the best man who ever lived,
and willsay prayer for him everynight." !"
"Thatl do, me good woman" said
Mike, trying to conceal his emotion by being
brusque, and falling miserably ,..go home
wild Bob an kape him there at nights, an
kape the beer out of the place and he'll be
all right, and Il there's my midals Il
decorate. his amer I'll do it. Ohm wit
ness to his koindness livery day.
FLYNN'S PRIDE.
.'Moike Foley, it's proud of We OF am, ,
said Flynn little later. as Policeman
Foley met him in the corridor; .ye followed
his 'anner's lead in great sthylc."
Foley was compelled TO arrest last night
for disorderly conduct, David Upperman
who drives al express wagon.
"Hc was drunk, whooping and yellinl
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
e The gasping, wheezing and 6
H shortness Of breath IN