Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1896-03-11


and crossed his arms upon it. He gazed
into the light as If he would I'll his
soul with it It was so peaceful there.
And he knew that before he left that
place he must decide what should be the
burden Of his future years.
Marian loved him-aye, even as he
loved her. If he could lose all to find
everything in her love! Oh, the thought
was terribly sweet in its defiance.
To take her, to hold her, to keep her
in spite of law or right, to fill his life
with lie beauty of her smile, to be hers
absolutely forever, and she his!
What need to Try to hold to his old
ideals? They slipped from him in that
terrible moment as sand through listless
fingers.
Still he gazed into the light.
BY degrees the keen. troubled sweet
ness Of the longing that ravished him
faded. What was this new feeling that
crept in, this strange power growing
like sixth sense. A feeling of remote
ness from himself assembled upon his
heart. suhduing pain and joy and etrug-
gle. 1t was as if he had shaken of his
own personality and was looking back
upon his life abstractly with q fine
power Of discrimination never possessed
before.
His eyes were unsealed, and he recoil-
ed from what he saw. The reckless ex-
ultation had gene rs if brushed away by
haad O; ice. Only for a moment had
he dreamed If what could never be.
Love was not enough since guilt walked
with it.
He knew it now.
Love would die, and ambition and
truth, like white flowers poisoned in
the noxious air of q swamp.
He knew it now.
Even to see Marian sometimes would
be impossible. His good resolves would
die ignobly. He would become con-
temptible. his self respect be finally
murdered by his own acts, and this
something in his nature that upbraided
and reasoned now break loose, u wound
ed giant, and crush him. The wrench
must come at once and be complete.
He sighed and for moment closed
his eyes. What was that Mark had said
about conquering self? Was there life
before him still where he might stand
alone, stanch, though tried, u life apart
from Marian, but sweet for both with
the sweets of repentance?
No answer came, and as he remained
motionless, like a man ON the lookout
waiting for sight Of land, he saw O
great vessel glide from a wharf close at
hand. 1t crossed the path of light with
ponderous stateliness and slipped into
the shadows until it was but big,
black hulk stealing away with the tide
But, strangely enough, the ships de-
parture made Il desire potent and alb
sorbing start within him-the wish to
slip away into the shadows and begin
anew somewhere. remorseful desire to
atone somehow, the first thought of self
sacrifice.
Mark was going ON the morrow. Oh,
that he had strength for such complete
self forgetfulness! Mark was going OH
the morrow, never to return.
An eagerness, an exaltation, brighten
ed his face. He could go with Mark if
he would. There was nothing to pre-
vent. Mark would be glad, he knew.
With his medical knowledge and skill
he could do much in the leper colony.
He could relieve and cheer, though cure
as yet was believed impossible.
The thought was overpowering. II
came back again and again. To 60 with
Mark!
But could he? What! End his life sol
Renounce the ambition that Whispered
of great things to his own glory still to
be done? Surrender everything he had
best loved to overcome himself? Sur.
render love that had sweetness SO subtly
mixed with poison? And his young life
that only little while ago had prom
ised SO much, and his dreams that ha6
lain SO warmly against his heart? Gould
he give up all and 60 to be nothing, &C
cepting the bitterness of daily an6
hourly expiration?
A groan of agony broke from him.
From the depths of his torn soul there
came cry:
mo, nop' and his hands knottei
themselves in the agony Of the conflict
There was brightness all around, blu,
night within him.
After a long while he looked ND into
the moonlight with wild, dry eyes. But
it would not be for nothing. There was
surely triumph in giving all for 9th
ers- II he gave his life, he gave all
Words he had heard somewhere came
back to him like voice through thu
flooding light:
ITO give ones life is better thar
ones aims; to spend. be spent beyond
the gift Of gold''
Yes, he saw it all SO clearly now. A
quick breath came from his parted lips
as If he had ascended to q height where
the air was rarefied.
How could he have failed to see thu
truth before, how questioned it? Thai
way lay redemption. That sacrifice
promised peace.