The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1896-09-22
THAT LUMP OF COAL.
1T WAS A SMALL THING, BUT IT VIC
TIMED A CONGRESSMAN.
One of the Practical Jokes of John Cham
berlin and Larry Jerome-It Cost Tim
Campbell - Case OF Champagne and a
Box of Fine Cigars.

| y kpou hN'hN tolu Nl tNo ol Ainerlch :
most noted practical jokers, John Cham
berlin and Larry jerome, does not seem TO
have found Its way into print.
Chamberlin was abed I'm his Washington
hostelry with his dearly beloved friend, the
govt. Lawrence jerome was in the cham.
Der conversing with him when servant
brought up the card of the Hon. Tim
Campbell, then newly known 20 fame AS
the sweet lisping Celtic statesman from
the Fourth ward of the city of New York.
There was hurried consultation between
the two famous jokers before Campbell
was given entrance, and meanwhile Jer-
ONE had taken two Jumps of coal from
the scuttle beside the CRATE and wrapped
them in pieces of paper, placing one in an
inner coat pocket and holding the other
concealed I'm one hand. When the congress
man entered the room, he found Chamber
lin abed grooming and jerome walking up
and down the room holding one hand 10
his face and moaning most pitcously
Campbell walked over to where the famous
bon vivant lay, and, having commiserated
with him, turned 10 Jerome, and with that
really sweet and inimitahlc brogue which
no types can reproduce said, And what
may be the matter with you, Mr.. ,Ieromey"
jerome moaned all the louder, and final
| ~ said "Ah, my dear Mr. Campbell the
| human mind cannot comprehend the depth
| of the agony am suffering | am afflicted
| with the most eXcruciating toothache, and
| IL has driven me frantic +"
"And what may you he doing for It, Mr..
| Jerome" said the honorable Tim, with
sincere pity plainly written upon his open
countenancc
II have q great rcmedy--the only one
that gives me relief, answered Jerome
between his groans. at has been handed
down i'm our family for number of years.
Ii Is only piece of Coal-ordinary coal
wrapped in n piece of newspaper and APP
piled TO the afflicted spot. 1t takes time
To accomplish the effect, but IL never fails"
''Sure l never heard of that before"
said Campbell incrcdulously. "When was
a boy i'm Ireland, I've seen old men put IA
murphy mean potato, you KNOWN
one Orccchcs pocket to drive away rhcu-
matism. But then there are many vr-
tues in potato. But don't see how he
can get any good ont of piece of hard
coal, except to burn IL. "
"Well, >" said Jerome painfully, you
may not believe me, but it is the only thing
that affords me relief " He then made
some excuse and departed for few mo-
ments from the room, leaving the piece of |
coal wrapped in paper on the mantelpiece |
When the door closed on him, Campbell |
turned To Chunihcrlin and said: The |
mans crazy sure, there is no virtue in
piece of coal 80
"He's COMPOUNDED old idiot" said |
Chamberlin irritably, "tramping around
here and making a fuss overa little tooth.
ache when l am suffering the tormcnts OF |
the damned with the guut and bathering |
about Il piece of coal curing him. Tim,"
he suddenly said, rs his face lighted as II
he had just been seized with an inspira |
ton, take one If those small apples from
that plate of fruit on the table, throw hin
old piece OF coal into the scuttle and put
the apple in it, place Then we'll see what |
the old idiot win do without his coal. e"
Tim did as he was bid, with joyous
look upon his face a great idea, was
all he said Just then Jerome returned 10 |
the room, still moaning He hurried 10 |
the mantelpiece, picked up the wrapped
apple and apparently placed it 10 his face
but ms he turned he managed 10 slip it into |
his inner cont pocket and take from IL the |
other piece Of coal which was there con
cealed He then resumed his moaning
tramp up and down the room with his
hand to bis face The Hon. Tim could |
scarcely restrain his laughter. and be final |
y Il q
that piece of coal DOWN 1t can do you no |
good"
"Ah, Mr.. Campbell said the apparent |
victim of a raging toothache, you little
know what quick relief this brings when |
IL begins 20 get in its work. / can feel al.
ready the first symptoms OF It's wonderful | d.
influence All, yes / feel II plainly. The
pain Is leaving me Oh, what wonderful | :
change! All, Mr. Campbell, it's "A wonder
full remedy"
why said tho congressman, his soul | {
arising in revolt against man deceiying {
himself with the idea that he was heing !
cured by a piece Of coal, when that small | ,
chunk of anthracite was lying I'm the scut- !,
tie, you are deluding yourself. You
haven't got piece Of coal in your hand;
50 how could il cure you?"
The great joker looked at him in pain |
and surprise. lie could not speak for
moment, and then ne said I'm n plying
way Mr. Campbell what foolish man a
you are. put the piece of coal within this | c
piece Of newspaper with>my own hands "
We'll, said the great and only Tim cx- | I
'itedly, IN bet you case of champagne | r
hat there's no piece of coal there " =
Said jerome sadly: mir. Campbell, J
ion't like 10 bet on "a sure thing, and thi.
Il
lie expense Of "a case Of champagne, but in |
'rder 10 teach you lesson and to impress | il
lpon you that you should not question o | ="
word, | will ACCEPT the wa {,
ger. H.
Il II bet you fine box Of imported CT
'ars besides, said Campbell cx,itedly.
- accept the wager said Jerome quiet
y and pityingly. u
IN bet you $50 also, " said the distin. y
pushed statesman, shaking his right fist |
the air In true congressional style.
hen he added, Now, open that piece of
apcr and see what fool you have made | 3
# yourself. - jerome did 50. and there he
ore the New Workers. astonshed gaze rest | s
q piece of coal Campbell looked with | Z
mazemont into the unmoved face Of .Je-
ONE, and then CHANGING toward the bed | 4
e saw Chamberlin's form quivcring, not | d
Nth pain, but with suppressed laughter. =
peech failed him for moment, and then
II ne said was: YOU'RE both pair of
ii old bunko steerers I've been film
ahmed" And with that he rushed from
ne room, slamming the door behind him. n
That night Lawrence Jerome required
he assistance Of several friends to dispose
n case of champagne and box Of fine
gars. --Philadelphia Times. b
-
Pro Patria, 10 cent cigar for cents,