Pleasantville weekly press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1890-1911, 1896-10-07

go near the convention, DuC uOH I
mind telling you that they had the all
firdest row up there before the Conven-
ton was called to order. Levi Albert
son says it required more patching up
than any gathering we've had for long
time Just ask John Gardiner, about it
and if he don't tell you I'm right I'll eat
my shirt. Good bye.
The Press ss-Hello, Central!
Central-HellO!
The Press.-Give me Congressman
Gardiner.
Gardiner-H am. What does the
Press want?
The Press We want to known more
about the inside" of Saturday 8 COnven-
ton, and Who it was that is responsible
for SO many broken pledges. Barrett
says he had the assurance OF your sup
port in the contest for Sheriff. and he
feels awfully cut up to find be was lean
ing upon SO many broken reeds. How
about it?
Gardiner-WeII, wait until | see Levi.
He knows all about it, and was present
when the "deal' that defeated Barrett
was made, III ask him about it and | II
''sce you later" Good bye.
The Press.-Central, Give me Levi AL
berfson.
Central Here he is.
The Press. Congressman Gardiner
says you know all sbout the drnl that
turned down" Barrett. How about it?
A!bertson-Oh we've had an awful
time to elk up' matters this heat, and
Pm afraid there is still more trouble
ahead for us. | hear that Barrett is to
run as an independent candidate for
Shorthand that means a regular
monkey and parrot time all around the
ring. Worse than all the rest | hear
that Barrett's friends have sworn ven.
gence against Assemblyman Jackson,
and swear they will have his scalp four
weeks from tomorrow. Who would
have thought that our little game
would have caused such c0mmotion? !?
| nearly wore my shoes out running
between the parties to the IDEAL" and
now, when | realize that SO much time
and ''honest" money may have been
thrown away, it makes me feel like an
overloaded camel. MisfoI tunes never
come singiy, and just as soon as | get
one tange Strengthened out up bobs
another to bother me. 1t really looks,
to me as if we had bit off more than we
can cbaw, this time, if may be permit
ted to use such a classical phrase, and
there's no telling where all this trouble
is going to end. How can we fix it up
| must see Gardiner and Hoffman and
see what is to be done. There is never
any satisfactory excuse for treachery,
and fear we are going to have a hard
time OF it to compel Barrett's friends to
take their medicine. Did you notice how
neatly John c. Albertson was bowled
out by Chairman 'Sam." Kelley, when
the former moved the appointment of a
certain committee? By parliamentary
usage, everywhere, the person who
makes u motion to appoint committee
is made it's chairman, but "Sam." forgot
himself, and John e. was left without
any committee duties to perform.
Another thing. Did you notice what a
big cat may be concealed in that meal of
the resolution to appoint committee
to fill vacancies in the event of one being
declared by death or resignation? Well.
/ hop, none of those off-shOre chumps
will get down to it, but tell you, my
boy, that there are some astonishing
possibilities in that little JOKER en-
closed in that resolution. just suppose
for moment, that "Sam." Kirby
should resign his candidacy before cleo
ton, Wouldn't we then be able by means
of that committee to fill the vacancy
with the man we really hoped to nomi-
nate? You bet See? Good bye!
The Press.-Once more Central. Give
me Dr.. Sooy.
All there "Doc' What's the word?
DIR. Sooy.-Dear me! Don't say a
word | feel as if | had swallowed
whole box of liver pills and that they
hadn't decided whether to stay down or
come up. Just think of the way Lew"
was dumped overheard at the County
Conventionl What have we not done for
those ungratful creatures who pulled the
wires and turned us down? 1t makes me
tired when think of it. Have we not
gone, 10, these many years, at their beck
and call, and beat the bush from Hell
Neck" to "Scrabbetown" in their be-
halt? Indeed we have, and the man who
says we haven't is a liar and q horse
thief, and the truth is not inside his
jacket. Oh. why did | live to see this
awful day? | cannot say any more
Let me fly hence and be as one who had
never been. Good bye.
The Press.-Hello, Central!
CentraI,-Hello. What in thunder do
you want?
The Press.-I want just one more and
then am done. Give me Lew" Barrett.
Central.-Great Scott | am almost
afraid to ring him up.
The Press.-Oh, go ahead. He's all
right. All here he isl Hello, "Lew!'
How goes the battle?
Barrett.-It don't go atal|. It's gone,
feel like one who has been kicded to
death by crippled grasshoppers, and
stampeded by herd Of jackasses. More
than that, feel as if | had been flung
from third story window and dropped
into the well. You ask me who did it?
Great Caesars ghost Why don't you
ask me who didn't do it? l never saw
such base iDgratitude in all my born
days. There were men in and around
that Convention to whom | have given
my best political efforts for pears. They
made me no end of promises and lied to
me until they ought to have been black
in the face. But they never blinked.
They stood up there with the cheek Of so
many craven images and voted squarely
against me when they had as squarely
promised to vote for me.
The Press.-That was pretty rough,
"Lew," wosn't it?
Barrett-Rough? That's no name for
it. Why. after this would believe that
they would steal blubber from q blind
bear. But wait! I'll make 'em rue the
day they ever went to that Convention.
| am worth whole yard full of dead
men yet, and if don't make 'em smell
birthstone my names not Lew" Bar
rett. Pm not the chump they take me
to be, and Ill show EN- before l get
through with 'em that am still blessed
with troops of friends who are ready to
follow where lead. Ia the language Of
the late lamented Billy Shakespeare,
Richards himself again p And don't
you forget it There may be time,
perhaps not very far distant, when the
Republicans of Atlantic County will not
have votes to burn, as they think they
have now. Then these same chaps that
betrayed me will need help, and if l don't
make some of the piratical gang walk
the plank it will be because | don't know
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