Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1896-12-31
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To gaze upon the latest style
Sometimes one has to pay.
Last night / viewed a lovely hat,
Ruf did not see the play.

as Wheelhed a man Of his wordT
II fear not. He says he has bicycle
lamp that never goes out"-New York
Evening Journal.
"What Is 'coign Of vantage papa"
Something American girls use In
catching foreign husbands, my SON.
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
He (cautiously)-If should propose.
would you say "yes?" She (still more
cautiously)-If you knew would say
Eyes" would you propose Truth.
"rhat horrid Miss Burners tries to
be so mannish. She actually smokes
cigarettes" II don't see anything man.
nish in hat."-Indianapolis Journal.
Benedict-That adage"Marry In haste
and repent at leisure" is all bosh! Sim
gleton-why? Benedict-Because mar
ried men have no Decentralization Trav-
eler.
"Did you hear what Brief. the lawyer,
has for his motor "No. WhatT
"'Where there's a will there's way to
break it. "-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
Wiggles-Hang 1t all, I've got cold
coming on. Waggles (sympathetically)
Yes; just think of all the advice that
you'll have to take about it!-Somer-
vile Journal
"And you broke off the engagement
said one young man. "Yes-not brutal
ly, you know. But I managed It."
"How?" "Told her what my salary IS"
Washington Star.
George-Is it true that your cousin Is
in love with Jack Fitzbooby? Fred
You can Judge for yourself. She eats
her dinner before she opens his letters.
-Roxbury Gazette.
ANY diversions at your boarding
house, Widdleton" Eyes, every MORN
ing at breakfast we all quarrel about
whether the weather is colder or warm
er."-Chicago Record.
"Bufferton married highly intel
lectual woman" "She doesn't ever
have much to say" mo, but she sees
that the carving-knife is always kept
sharp. Record.
1T is, indeed hard" said the melan-
choly gentleman, ito lose ones rela-
tives." "Hard?" snorted the gentle
man Of wealth-"hard? 1t is impossi-
bic. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Excited Traveler-Get me to the sta
ton in three minutes, and Ill give you
five dollars! Driver-Can't do it, sir;
We might bride me, but We can't corrupt
me horse.-Detroit Free Press.
Prohibitlonist-If you didn't drink,
you might be worth five thousand dol
lars. Arid Atkins-I know, boss. but
wot good would five thousand dollars
do me If didn't drink Puck.
Magistrate--Do you mean to say such
physical wreck as he is gave you that
black eye? Complaining Wife-Sure,
your honor. he wasn't n physical wreck
till after he give me the black eye.
Walker Rownde-Say, Ploddy, what
would youse do If youse had Wander
bilk's income? Plodder Pyke-Dat's
dead easy; but what would Vanderbilt
do If he had mine?-Baltlmore News.
Perkins Ito tramp)-Get out of this,
now; we don't permit anybody to lie
around here. Tramp-Excuse me, sir.
Didn't know 1t was you or wouldn't
thought Of competing.-Boston Courier.
How oft do Congressman awake
To find their hopes have fled.
This is the speech he thought he'd mades
? ? /! - Z? !
And this is what he said:
81 second the notion"
Washington Star.
Papa-I understand that the young
man who is calling on Mabel is little
wild. Jack-Not at all! Every time
I've been out with him, when 1t got to
be or o'clock. he wanred to go home.
Puck.
Dick Hicks (watching the orchestral
| Those musicians don't care anything
about the director. Mrs. Hicks--How
| do you know? Dick Hicks-The more
he shakes that stick Mt 'em the harder
they fiddle.-Puck.
Dablin-The members tell me that
| Fadaway is one of the best members OF
the Rockrib Athletic Club. Wablin-
Why, he's no athlete! Dablin--That's
true; but then he pays his dues regu-
larly.-Roxbury Gazette.
speaking of the financial policy Of
| the incoming administration" began
McSwilligen, when Squildig interrupt
ed him: lawfully sorry, old man, but I
haven't dollar about me now. | shall
be broke until NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
| Chronicle.
81 wonder what that man IS 81 angry
at himself about?" said the mosquito;
during the hals-hour 1 have been fly
| ing around his head, he has done moth
| ing but hit himself in the jaw every
half minute or so."-Indianapolis Jour
nal
| $50 you were at the opera last
nightY Eyes" "How were the
| voices?" Excellent. The way those
boys rendered Opera books-books Of
the opera left an.impression on the
audience that will not soon be for
| gotten." Gazette.
Judge Ito defendant)-You are accus-
ed Of having terribly beaten two nissnt-
watchmen last night. What tempted
you to do this? Defendant-My feeling
Of humanity, Judge; because for one
night watchmen that clubbing would
have been too much.-German ex-
change.
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