Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1896-03-05
A RED COW IN A FOG.

A RED COW IN A FOG.
Saturday Gottlieb Zahner's red COW
became confused in the fog in Harrison
avenue, Harrison, N. j. and ran up 8
fight of stairs.
This should serve warning to al
farmers meditating the purchase of q
red COW, they are just as erratic as red
headed girls.
Zahner bought the COW at the Bulls
Head, in Harrison, and being shrewd
man, he felt perfectly sure that he had
secured bargain. The animal sidled
up to him in an aifectionate way and
suffered a rope to be twined around her
horns as cheerfully as though it had
been garland of flowers.
The COW was all right until she got
out into the fog, when she began to roll
about like ship that had lost its bear
ings. Zshner was pulled this way and
that, and though he blew his whistle
continuously, nobody came to his as
sistance.
BY this time the fog had grown so
thick that the only evidence of COW
being attached to Zahner was the tug.
ging at the rope. He shouted for help
and his cries so startled the red cow
that she cut the tow line and started,
as she thought, for Texas.
She brought up suddenly in the hall
way of No. 81 Harrison avenue, q cou-
lectionery store to the right of her, fog
and yelling hoodlums in the rear of her,
and steep staircase in front of her.
Anything but red COW would have
dived into the candy store, for it was
full of pretty girls.
Zshner's COW, however, Immediately
began to mount the flight of steps with
a clatter that was fearful in its quad
rupedal complexity. Mrs. John P. Nc
Donald, the wife of telegraph opera
tor, who occupies the apartments on
the second floor, heard the noise and
-tuck her head out of the door to inves-
.igate
She saw horns and flaming eyes, and,
banging the door, with an awful SHREK
ran for the family Bible.
Hearing this, and feeling all through
aer perverted red hide that the game
was up, the COW ran fiercely into the
kitchen door, head on. Her horns pen
etrated the soft wood and stuck there.
Mrs. Mcdonald, when the crash came,
escaped through another door, shouting
for help.
When Zahner arrived the cow was
kicking like threshing machine, and
;he door was total wreck. The p0-
lice were summoned, and for some
time there was a great scratching of
heads over the problem Of getting the
COW out. Zahner got right at the foot
of the difficulty by seizipg hold of one
of the cows nervous hind legs and
pulling hard.
This seemed to furnish feeble spark
of intelligence to the red COW, for she
in her turn began pulling, then the
police force took hand, and among
them they succeeded in getting her
free of the door and landing her in
heap at the bottom of the fight.
AS soon as Mrs. Mcdonald saw that
is was not the devil, she put in an ami
mated claim for damages. Chief of
Police Gallagher said it seemed to him
that it was "hoss and hoss." The cow
had whipped the door, but the steps
aud the door had in their turn, prob
ably frightened that COW out of years
milk.
The matter was finally settled by
Zahner depositing at police headquar-
tiers sum of money which Mrs. Nc
Donald thought would cover her loss.
zahner then hired strong boy to help
him home with the COW.
If it had been Friday, and the cow
black, Zahner wouldn't have word to
say.-N. Y. Herald.