Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1896-11-10
PLAYING MONKEY.

Great Scotti DON'T tell me wimmen i:
allus right I know different. Wy, it'E
only tn other day Mary-my missis-
wor dead wrong. ''Now, yer will be
carful, won't yer, Jim?'' says she, a-tyir
big red comforter round TIL young
un's neck. ''Careful?'' says I. 81 be-
lieve yer, me boyl" as Mr.. Paul Bedford
used ter say ter Mr.. Bob Reeley. Lord
Lordl Wot days they did ave in them
timesl
Yer see, my old mother 'ad been er
great trick act rider, till she 'ad a hac-
oident, an after that as fer back as
Nine. Celeste's day she got inter tn
wardrobe at tn Adelphy an went
on''-one er eth guests, yer know.
Lord, she wor allus as jolly an as gem
tie as sand boy an used ter tell us
kids all about before she was married,
seein madame playin th' Indian girl an
afterward danoin tn gavot in w'ite
satin. An wen she come 'ome from tn ;
theater she'd ave 'er little drop er cold
gin an sing to us wee uns (a-sittin up
in bed a-eatin tn 'ot baked taters she'd
bring us) Down Hamong tn Green
Bushes in ser sweet voice. Miss Fitz-
gerald did sing it that beautiful, says
she, a-wipin 'er heyes.
'Ow did cum ter be in th' purfesh?
Well, yer see, was brought up bit
sensitive an with FER taste fer th' dra-
mer, an bein rather tender hearted like
-takin after father, who got killed one
night a-carryin out old blind woman
from fre-I thought I'd like ter be a
acrobat or pantomimist. So one
Christmas gifts on at Covent Garden as
a supe an 'ad ter do er little ''bizness"
with th' clown. An Mr.. Payne e says
ter mo, says e, "W'y don't yer go in
fer it?'' An does-goes prentis, an in
me spare time did little odd jobs an
'eIped mother wot 1 could with tn
kids. But, yer see. was bit old fer a
eg'lar bender. Besides, I'd got it on
me mind ter play monkey. Mother
said as 'ow she couldn't account fer it,
'cept it wor she went one Monday to
th' geological gardens afore 1 was born.
Dad didn't want 'er ter go in tn mon
key 'ouse; but, womanlike, she would.
W'enI was 16, 1 could play monkey
fer all e was worth. got engaged with
a troop, an they Civ me good screw
well, good fer them days. It's differ
Gnu now. We MOThtu I'LL A1 IAl
provinces. Then manager over from
America see us, an we played through tn
States. Wen we gifts back ter Lon
don, fixes up mother in FER chandler s
shop jest behind Hashley's. Lord, she
could nearly smell tn sawdust an quite
ear tn losses, an it did 'er good.
"Makes me young agin," says she. i.
Then our troop gifts er turn at tn
Halhambra. An wot d. yer think? I
falls in love with my missis-Mary Ma
son-a good little gal in tn back row
o. tn ballet. Well, we gifts married five
year ago come termorrer, an we as two
kids-both boys. Th' second one was
sickly an died. But, bless your cart,
Tommy, tn oldest, jest a-risin 4-well.
there, talk about munki Wy, e on'y
wanted er tail Wen e wor year, g
Jung an clung on ter everything an
nearly frightened is mother inter fits.
Well, I've 'ad i'm with me in my act
fer about three months. (Another glass?
don't mind if 1 do. Talkin's dry work.
More soda, please An last week gifts
leave from my boss ter play fer tn
"ben' o. old pal o. mine down tn
east end way. Now, that night Mary
seemed ter regular 'ugger mugger over
Tommy "Wiot's tn matter, mother?"
says |. "Oh, nuthin-I-I dunno, Jim, "
says th' mother. An could "a swore
she was a.goin ter cry. Then she broke
out quite fierceIike "Don't let that
there Bob Bracy ave nothin to do with
tn ropes, " says she. Bob was tn 'ead
carpenter at th' 'all we was due at an a
old sweetheart of Mary's-she ''chuck-
ed'' i'm fer me. "W'y, Bob's all right,
mother" says L 81 Dunno says she.
'I shouldn't like ter trust Tommy with
'im," says she. Eyer know e allus
swore he'd git even.'' Well, after
minute: tits time yer was gone. Lord
love 'iml" says she, a-givin tn young
un a extra kiss an another turn o. tn
comforter.
Wen we gifts ter tn all, it was
pretty late-crammed with people an
full of smoke. Tommy seemed bit
sleepy, but perks up wen I puts is
monkey dress ON i'm. COWS tn little
MANI" says /. "All right. dadda, says
e. I gives i'm to a woman ter 'old
while I goes on tn stage ter see tn
tackle was all right. specially little
trapeze of Tommy g covered with leaves
an flowers, which was fixed center O.
th' stage, way up in tn flies. There
was Master Bob, as busy as any bee
But ED bin ;ayin drop. could see
"Well, Jimmy, ole man, says e. an
grins at me like ipperpotamus or
lena or a Cheshur cat Dob hain't no
beauty " 'ow's tn missis?" Shes
all right, " says L ''There amt no flies
ON err says L "Ye're lucky un.
yer are, :" says 'e. "Mary ought ter "a ,
bin my 1nissis,'' says e. Mrs. Jobson,
if er please, - says 1, ''an not Mary.