Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1896-06-03


some goods that had been left out OF
place. The one is very touchy aboa,
doing work not exactly belonging u
hlm. The other is glad to help the
other clerks in their work. The frs,
Will be a prolonged nothing, and
ne VIII be poorer at go years of age
than at 20. The other will be a mei-
chant prince. Incidence is the cause
OF more failures in all occupations than
you have ever suspected. People are
too lazy to do what they can do. and
want 10 undertake that which they
can not do. In the drama of life they
don't want to be- a common soldier,
| carrying halberd across the stage
or falconer, or a mere attendant.
and so they lounge about the scenes
TIL they shall be called to something
great. After while, by some acct
dent of prosperity or circumstances,
they get into the place for which
they have no qualification. And
very soon, If the man be merchant,
he Is going around asking his creditors
to compromise for ten cents on tho dol
Lar. Or, if Il clergyman, he is making
Trades against the ingratitude of
churches. Or, il an attorney, by un-
skillful management he loses a case by
which widows and orphans are robbed
OF their portion. Or, if physician, he
by malpractice gives his patient rapid
transit from this world TO the next.
Our Incompetent friend would have
made passable horse doctor, but he
wanted to be professor Of anatomy in n
university. lie could have sold enough
confectionery To have supported his
family but he wanted to have "a sugar
refinery like the Iavemeyers
lie could have. mended shoes, but
he wanted to amend the constitution of
the United States. Toward the end of
life these people are out of patience,
out OF money, out of friends, out of
everything. They go To the poorhouse.
or keep out OF it by running in debt to
all the grocery and dry goods stores
that will trust them. People begin to
wonder when the curtain will drop on
the scene. After while, Leaving moth
ing but their compliments TO pay doc
tor, undertaken, and Gabriel Grubb.
the gravc-digger, they disappear Elk
euat. Kissed off the stage.
Others fail in the drama OF life
through demonstrated sclGshncss They
make all the rivers empty into their
sea. all the roads of c1nolumcnt end at
their door. and they gather all the
piumcs of honor for their brow They
help no one, encourage no one. rescue
no one. How big pile OF money can
| get?' and How much of the world
can | absorb are the chief questions.
They feel about the common people as
the Turks felt toward the Asapi. or
common soldiers, considering them of
no use except TO fill up the bitches with
their dead bodies while the other troops
walked over them TO take the fort.
After while this prince of worldly
success IS sick. The only interest So
Getty has in his illness Is the effect
that his possible dcccase may have
on the money market. After while
he dies. Great newspaper capitals an
nounce how he started with nothing
and ended with everything. Although
for sake of appearance some people
put handlierchiefs to the eye, there is
not one genuine tear shed. The heirs
sit up all night when he lies in state.
discussing what the old fellow has
probably done with his money. 1t
takes all the livery stables within two
miles 70 furnish funeral cquipages, and
all the mourning stores are kept busy
IN selling weeds of grief. The stone
cutters send in proposals for "A monu-
mcnt The minister at the obscuuies
reads of the resurrection. which
makes the hearers fear that if the un-
scrupulous fnancicr does not come up
in the general rising he will try to get
corner on tombstoncs and grave
yard fences. All good men are glad
that the moral nuisance has been re-
moved. The Wall street SPECTATORS
are glad because there is more room
for themselves. The heirs are glad be-
cause they get possession of the long
delayed inheritance. Dropping all his
plumcs, every certificate of all his
stock every bond OF all his invest
mcnts, every dollar OF all his fortune.
he departs, and all the rolling of Dead
March in Saul and all the pageantry OF
his intcrmcnt, and all the cXpuisitcness
OF 'sarcophagus, and all the extrava-
Gance OF cPitaphoIogy can not hide the
fact that my text has come again to ire
mcndous fultillmeut: Men shall clap
their hands at HIM and shall hiss him
out OF his place"
You sec the clapping comes before
the hiss. The world cheers before il
damns. So it is said the deadly asp
ticliles before it stings. Going up. is
he? Hurrah. Stand back and let his
galloping horse dash by, whirlwind
OF plated harness and tinl<ling head
gear and archcd neck. Drink deep of
his Madeira and cognac. Boast of how
well you know him. All hats off as he
passes Bask for days and years i'm the
sunlight Of his prosperity. Going
down. is he? Pretend TO be near
sighted so that you can not see him as
he walks past When men ask YOU If
You know him, halt and hesitate as
though You were trying to call up a
dim memory and say: We'll. yes.
yes; believe ] once did know him. but
have not seen him FOR long while. a"
Cross diiTercnt ferry from the
one where you used TO meet
him lest he ask for financial help.
When you started life nc spoke a good
word for you at the bank. Talk down
his credit now that his fortunes are
collapsinP. lie put his name on two of
your notes; tell him that you have
changed your mind about such things.
and that you never indorse. After Il
while his matters come TO "A dead halt.
and an assignment or suspension or
Shcrif'S sale takes place You saw.