Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1896-11-12
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.
What Happened to Him One Might
Down in a Deep Cellar.


What Happened to Him One Might
Down In n Deep Cellar.
"T'm fond of lobsters," said the re-
tired burglar "but like 'em best cook
cd. And, speaking of 'em cooked, the
best way to eat Holsters Is stewed.
You take good lively fresh Holsters and
boil EN-, and then you pick EN- out
end cut 'em up, not too fine, and warm
'em over; putting In little water to-
make a sort Of gravy, and little
bit of butter, and little pepper, and
some salt, unless you put In salt
enough when you boiled 'em, anc may
be just little touch of vinegar, though
some folks don't like any vinegar In
'em at all Then you serve 'em hot.
| like to spread slice OF bread and
put that on my plate and ladle the
lobster out on that. You may think
there's better ways Of eating Holsters;
but when have stewed Holsters for
breakfast \ forget I'm poor, But what
| set out to tell you about was live
lobster. l dropped down one night,
through window that had opened,
into a deep cellar. The window was
narrow, and high up. / guess It must
have been six or seven feet from the
cellar bottom to the lower edge Of II.
or course, man can't walk up stone
wall like that very WELL and so before
going upstairs fixed way Of getting
out easy, in case l should want to
go in hurry, as, Of course, might
happen. moved couple Of boxes up
under the window, one on top Of the
other, making sort Of steps, Wien I
reached down to pick up my bag again
/ didn't strike II at first, and as was
feeling along for 1t something grab
bed my hand, nlpped 1t sharp and
hard and hung on, was startled,
sure, but realized In an instant that
1t was lobster. You know some folks
when they amt going to cook the lob
sters till morning put EN- out on the
grass over night, or maybe down on
the cellar bottom where they'll keep
csol and in good condition, and I'd
run against lobster put down in the
cellar, When l stood up, the lobster
was still hanging on. | threw out my
hand, natural enough, l suppose, with
an idea of throwing the lobster of, but
instead OF that I banged him against
the big zinc cylinder around the fur
mace. 1t sounded like hittin a big iron
drum with a club. That startled me,
too, and when l stepped over In the
coal bin to get away from the furnace
l fell over into the coal bin. There
was narrow opening In the side Of
the bin where they'd took down one
board at a time as the coal got lower
there, until they'd got down to Just one
board at the bottom, and I'd stumbled
over that and fell backward on the
coal. The lobster was still hanging on
I thought made noise enough clatter'
Ing against the board and falling or
the coal, but the minute / struck the
coal l started coal slide. From where
the boards had been taken out the
coal sloped up high against the sid'
1 of the cellar; my falling on the fooi
of 1t started the whole face of the
slope moving, 1t made more noise
than load of coal dumping on thu
sidewalk. Stepping out of the Goa
bin, / knocked down the coal shovel
leaning against 1t just outside, and the
big furnace poker. Noise? Humph
| All this time the lobster was still
hanging on--you see, 1t takes me som'
little time to tell you about 1t all, bu
II took mighty little time for 1t al
to happen. AS the poker banged dowI
| heard folks coming down the stair
from the second floor to the floor abov'
the cellar OF course, there was JUS
one thing for me to do and that wal
/ to get out. While the folks was com
ing down from the second floor to thu
flrst, was making for the cellar win
dow; and the lobster never let go I'll
/ stepped up on the first box, New
York Sun.