davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
THE TYPEWRITER GIRL.

That old typewriter joke has broken
out again and Is to be used while the blcy-
Gle joke takes a rest. The play upon the
word. which is rather fooIishly permitted
TO describe both duh, embarrassing ma
chine. and a pretty and intelligent girl.
Is full OF excruciating opportunities for
the feeble intellect. and on account Of the
heneicent purpose Il serves might be left
TO do its part in society like very thin
bread and butter and very weak tea.
But the joke on the man who married
his typewriter Is as much out OF place now
as the twenty first Psalm would be on thu
gravestone OF mother-in-law. The type
writer girl. the sole companion in many
dresry days work. and the sympathetic
listener TO many a story Of vexation and
OF triumph over trade troubles. has proved
herself TO be an evolution In wifehood.
The ordinary girl. brought up at school
and at once Installed at home. never sees
hfe--the world OF cares and struggles Of
mankind-as the typewriter girl sees II.
The ordinary girl may be domestica.ed.
but she never knows how sweet home IL
as does the girl who is compelled. day
after day. IN all weathers. conditions Of
health and Of hunor. to 60 70 the daily
routine OF the ONCE. Those who are
obliged TO stay a, home envy those who
are free, as they call II, TO 70 away from,
IL; but the typewriter girl. as she indus.
trscusiy hammers away at the monoto-
nous keys. dreams Of home wherein IN,
rattle OF the type shall be replaced by N.
ccosng and Growing of q cinpied darling
and where she viii lead a PLACID life amss
her domestic treasures and IN feminine
kniok-knacSs
The home SRI may be swee, and tender
ccQaettish. p,quan; or iashiag: she nav hs
charming for night a, the ,heater or a
dance; she may even become a very low
fns wife.
But tire typewriter girl IL the one M,
becomes not oaiy wife. ou, the friend ara
companion Her experience with ,he tran
hes q a mans .siiy business. his Efforts
% make a living. the daily calculation -.
income ara daily provision ,or the eanz
Q: the future. help 10 make her appreciate
rs anx.e.ies. 70 understand his wpr-v
ever expenses In excess OF income. 4. lo.,.
ahead as he has 20 90 in a wav rsa- ~
marc home training can ever aco,zr,itsA
The thorough acquaintance which the re-
lstion bring. about acts as q check 10 the
marriage CT unsuitable people. To no NO
nan en,slss o. his own family IS man 50
wen known as to his typewriter girl ste
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
EDrrORlAL sPARKLEs.

Tia Ancient Order Of Hibernians win
celebrate Patriots day, with the accent
on the nrst syllable.-Bostop Herald
Those Democratic papers which used to
call Horace Boies ''the great commoner''
now call him the great prev1xicator.-
Iowa State Register.
Harvard's course In the Russian Ian
guags viii be open to students next year.
Heretofore Harvard has taught only foot
ball rushin' Boston Globe
Senator Hill IL putting some pretty
curves and inshoots over the plate. and
Senator PETER finds his delivery very
Washington City Post
Judging BY his recent talk. Richard
Harding Davis couldn't wear . hat that
would come away down over Speaker
Reeds ears.-Minneapolis journal.
An appreciative critic Of Col. Ingersou
declares that owing to his success as a
lecturer ''he will have dollars to burn"
How he expects to take them with him
Is not stated.-Omaha Bee.
A Kansas man has been found guilty Of
tickling ex-senator ingalls, and Is now an
inmate OF q madhouse. This Is strange,
too, since Kansas Is no longer Populist
state.-Sioux City Journal
Senator Teller lost 500 in street car
q few days ago. Had he practiced what
he breaches about the great advantages
Of silver as money, the pickpocket might
have broken down under the ioad.-Sioux
City Journal.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
THE RArNEs BILL.

The new saloon ordinance In Seattle has
caused something OF disturbance In
many lines Of nocturnal trade. but the
closing W u the saloons from o'clock
20 . o'clock IN the morning Is nothing COM
pared to the revolution contemplated In
New York. The passage of the Raines
bill. a. II u called. which has some very
suspicious political aspects. Is intended
among other things to close saloons on
Sunday. hut its effect has been appar-
entity only to close those run by scrupulous
liquor dealers and prompt the unscrupu-
scus to invent devices for It's evasion. one
OF the provisions OF the law is that i!quor
must not be sold In a barroom. but II may
be sold In any place having license for a
hotel whose only qualification Is that Is
shah contain ten bedrooms. This was
ensily provided In many cases, but IL was
much easier TO comply with another pro-
vision OF the law that liquor might be
served with meal. This has been con-
strued to mean that II man buys a sand
wieh no Is entitled TO drink. and although
at some places the precaution Is taken TO
insist that . sandwich should be eaten
with every glass OF beer. the size OF tho
sandwich was regulated TO suit the taste
OF the customer. A meal of this kind often
consists OF one ordinary sized sandwich
being cut into half dozen pieces and SOL
emniy bsins served on as many plates.
In some places II was understood tina, the
AL
passed back and forth over the counter un-
I'll IL became too dllapidated 20 be handled.
The appetite of those who did not care 10
enter into contest with such sandwiches
as might be expected under the circum-
stances. evidently provided for itself. be-
cause the sale of bottled goods on satur-
days Tor priva,e consumption has been
enormous and ono house sold three hun
dred TASKS OF whisky.
THIS great Increase IN the proyis,on NJ
whisky for Sunday drinking will soon put
New York on par with Glasgow. one OF
she rev large cities where the Sunday
closing Is in force There are many oaiec-
lions 70 the use Of liquor and especially TO
It's abuse. but efforts to arbitrarily pro-
hiof the traffic are sometimes followed ev
an aswrava'ion OF the original evi,. 1t
certainly Is not any advantage to drive
the consumption Of in,oxlean,s GU, o, sa-
looms and into private houses. which are
necessarily much more free from suryen-
lance than licensed places for It's sale.
The bin has some exee,,en, feature,
however. although I, has been pretty gen.
orally resented. One provision Is n,r,,cu.
mriS good namely. sha, prohibiting the
sale OF liquor to persons under eighteen
years OF ase. and prohibiting transpor,a.
ton companies from employing persons
who are in the has,, OF ,naulxsnx N The
incorporate use Of liquors. I, viii he wen
Tor other cities 10 watch the effects ~ en-.
n'ii and determine which OF tho two evils
had better be borne.
Tho New York sun. wA,ch Is Sar,A,,,,a.
disposed TO use very extreme Ianv,,,,.
says The sirss party to attack The new law
vi'i be the prOhibiaenssss. which nil, =, .
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
THE RIGHT OF DIVORCE.

There Is wide range OF thought be-
tween that custom. sanctioned ard TO a
which holds divorce IN adherence and
that laxisy which would PERM, divorces
fer the zsere asking. The repasnan>e TO
divorce originates IN The belief ,Aa, mar
r.Are is q sacrSrneat-~whon God hath
Joined together let nc maa put asaaier'
rae other extreme IS ira, marriage l.
mere contract between rssa and woman.
which should be ierminASis BY mutual
consent.
The relation the sexes bear TO each other
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

500 his temper under IN provocafions,
observes his honesty. generosity. shift
ness. industry. laztness. prudence, care
lessness. ~ the case may be. He soon
knows whether the girl II SHY. sensibae.
alowenly. msehocical. ii-tempered. quick
tempered or good tempered; economical
or spendshr4f: uncougenfal o. sympa-
thetsc. business brings ont mems and wo-
mems true character much more surely
than pleasure parties: and marriages
made after an association With . type
writer giri Of year or two have long odds
IN favor Of turning out happily. There are
some men who have no more Judgment In
selecting wife than they have In conduct
ing business. and whether they are sue
cessful or not II just matter Of chance
The advantage only begins with the mar
rage. When MN returns to his home ct
night with his spirit faded and his brow
wrinkled. instead Of being nagsed At for
being late or little cross. he finds . wo-
man whose quick eyes discern un-
usual vexation for the day. and she
smooths out the lines Of care with soft
hand and cheers the heavy heart with
word Of sympathy. Then whils the rsstful
PIPE = doing tn consoling part,
she can enter inteiliCently into the
cause Of the trouble. and, silsntly
listening - she did in ths "a days.
her husband talks out the tangie. and IN
doing 20 thinks out the unraye,ing a the
snarL
Shs hns been accustomed n she hears an
ill-considered word or one hastily spoken
to have It recalled before It makes it, I'm
press; and he has been accustomed 70
standing before that patient form and
carefully framing sentences which should
not give o6ense. It has taught Zach that
IN angry retort often means very utfls:
and that In the long run people get along
better In matrimony. - In businass. Y
there u . mutual consideration for ths IN
tsrssts OF the other.
The typewriter - no longer the haonAe
butt d the joker; she has developed into
the very best kind OF material for . VITA
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
POSrsCRIPrs.

Port Townsend proposes to holl the
fort
The militia boys have given up reserves
belonging to Uncle Sam.
Weyier can't deny that most Of the in
surgents are out Of sight
An anti-high hat law Is not % much
needed as an anti-big head law.
In spite Of Gov Morton's age. 1t d safe
to say he 10 not declining this year.
With the approach Of hot weather there
VIII be some use for baseball fans.
Minister Willis Is a lulu; indeed. in Mr..
Clevelands estimation, an honor lulu.
No doubt some of the tars on board the
Pheasant were glad to have an 'arbor day.
A man wants to know what is the dif-
ference between appendicitis and grape
fruit.
The officers Of the new Alert Club think
the clubs constitution has the right ring
to II.
r
II Gen. weyler's trocha IL beaten down
he can then fail back upon his strong line
Of proclamations.
The Venezuelan commission has been at
work some time, at least judging from the
drafts on the appropriation made for It.
II is reported that Jerry Simpson Is 70
Ing to write a book Of travel. Probably
ITS title win be simpson On Wheels
The late rain gives the economical man
little more time to shine up last years
brown straw hat with the backing brush.
y !.
Among all the recent Democratic speech
es on Jefferson's birthday. none of them
alluded TO the fact that Tom believed In
protection.
Some OF the Fopulists Of this state pro-
fess quite q friendship for the Demo
Gratis. and yet secretly they desire to give
the latter q Belt
Little Billee Russell nowadays must feel
Ike q laird. for his acknowledgements Of
Massachusetts have recently given MIN
considerable taffy.
I. II not yet reported that Gen. Harri-
son has gorten out an injunction TO re-
strain people from distributing the Harr1-
son button IN Indiana.
The Iowa Democrats VINO are booming
Horace Boies don't realize that for the
rest OF the party they are making an
awful load OF Horace.
To make a living without r,,.n,,
hotel, that is the alcoholic rub for the
saloon keeper In New York city stnce .hs
Rsines law went into effect.
George Gould says the railroads Are b.
ing ruined by the Interstate commsrrsa
commission. He couldn't have e.,d =.
much when his father was alive
Probably DUPONT OF Delaware ao~sn,,
care so much for the seat In the senate .s
re does 10 get out OF the anxious sea, -.
has heen occupying for so many months.
Rev. c. H Parkhurst was q u1enha- a,
the first giee club ever sent out hy Av-
herst college. He used 10 play the nfsn.,
and organ. but gave them I'D for u. n,rai,,
many years ago.
oae OF the eccertrscsties OF Conr-ax<,,.,
Bland. the free silver apostle OF N,..,,rs
Is a dislike for travelling az night. Ana
ye, ne sss been travelling IN darkness fo-
fhs last twenty years.
Gen coxey says: II have decided thar
the election Of Populist President -.
be postponed for four years Tbs ~.
ee So Wat Coxey said went, a, Iaas.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

funny sequsncs 70 ne panic among drink
sn which 49, said to b % intense after
the laws passage. Those" # says. who
have been ciamoring against the iron OPP
prsssson Of the Roosevelt rule. and who
havs been procIaimins their right to Per
sonai enjoyment after their own quist
fashion upon Sundays, In connection With
bsss. WIN get beer 10 their hsarsS con-
tent. For tasm the Sunday problem w1l
b solved unfn the Raines law = aJtsssd.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
NOTABLE PEOPLE.

Chaplain Fred Ro;zler, Of the Cremorne
mission. New York. Is organizing q new
rescue enterprise 10 save victims Of the
s,rychnine habit
The marriage Of Mss Julia Stevenson.
elder daughter OF vice-Pres!dent Steven
son. and Rev. Martin d. Hardin. Of Kerr
lucky. son OF p. Wat Hardin. will occur
at the New York Avenue Presbyterian
church. Washington City. May -
Massey Mainwaring. member OF pariia-
meat. has received shoals Of letters from
public and private bodies CONCENTRATING
him upon the success which attended his
efforts to obtain the opening OF the ma
tsonal museum and gallery on Sundays
He expects that the cost OF opening all
the places referred 70 viii amount -
about q. 90 a year.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

untI II was dispersed hy the polics In
Washington City.
No wonder the recent snow In Colorado
did not last long. Ben TIllman and ex-
0Ov. Waite met there.
The London Financial News says. The
lowering OF the American tAri6 has been
our mfsUticn-" No wonder that Balling-
ton Booth objects to this country main
tanning British Salvation Army.
II b aid 900 visitors VII attend the
national convention At St Louis The seat
ing capacity OF the convention hall Is II. oo0
and there will therefore be some iss. 900 peo-
pie wondering where they como in.
::
There Is no more prospect Of Cuba and
Spain agreeing on q system Of local gov
eminent than there Is Of different prssi-
mates Of the result Of the irst ballot.
am picking out the winner.
And I'm going to bet dinner
That Of al the candidates
The man that am boosting
On the top rung will be roosting
When they call the roll Of stateA
OF course things VIII be breezy,
But he's got II sure. dead easy;
It's been settled by the fatea.
They may do all sorts OF claiming.
But my man they can't help nAmino
When they call the roll Of statea
He win never need suggestions.
For he's sound on AL the questions
Which our country agitateA
And tn surely be hurraying
On the wagon with band playing
When they call the roll Of stAteA
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
c..-sv - ~ sss'.' r.,.v
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,-,--. - The rrcnch eovern-
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- -, !. s,.ct,on would ,roh.b,v No ,oa-
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

An Eastern Newspaper recently an
nounced the death Of lady whose age
was IS. and described her a. - girl" It
Il such tact Is this which builds I'D the
circulation Of . newspaper and brings Joy
into many q husbandless home.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26
The Springfield Republican sAys that an
effort VIII be made to put up one Of the
following ticketa.

The visit Of Yamagata, the great soldier
Of Japan. IL to be followed by one from
Ii Hung Chang. who will cross the United
States on his way home after attending
the coronation ceremonies in Russia 1t is
to be hoped he win arrive here about cleo
ton tina.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

The reason Cullom 10 not heard from
Is that he's In the dollhouse watching his
boom under an inverted aumbler. -
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

1t 10 said that among the correspondence
received by Edison is a letter from a man
asking II 1t was possible. with the new
apparatus. to get an X raise out Of his
boN
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

oae OF the eocertrscsties OF Conrressp,.n
Bland. the free silver apostle OF Missouri.
Is dishse Tor travelling az night, And
yet he hss been travelling IN aars,~s. g
tbs last twenty years
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

Gen Coxey says: II have decided ,ha,
the election Of a Popalist president ,nn..
be postponed for four years" THIS r,,,s.
Dc -. WsAt Coxey said went, a, Is.s,
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1896-04-26

Rev. c. r. Parkhurst was q member n,
the first glee csuo ever cent out by Am.
aerst college He used 10 play the piano
and organ. ous gave them Up for the public
many years ago.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1896-07-09
SHAMJNG.

A prominent Democrat of New Ha-
ven was asked yesterday What's the
news from Chicago?" He replied, 1T
don't know and don't want to know
I am ashamed of the Democratic
party" When he reads the platform
that the silver Democrats have con-
structed and adopted he will be more
ashamed than he has been. 1t Is the
most shaming document ever put forth
by any national political party in this
country. 1t declares that the act of
1873, demonetizing silver, without the
knowledge or approval Of the American
people, has resulted in the appreciation
Of gold and a corresponding fall in the
prices Of commodities produced by the
people; heavy increase in the burden
Of taxation and of all debts, public and
private; the enrichment of the money
lending classes at home and abroad;
prostration OF industry, and impover-
ishment of the people. After this gem
appropriately comes this: We demand
the free and unlimited coinage of both
gold and silver at the present legal
ratio of 16 to 1 without waiting for the
aid or consent Of any other nation. We
demand that the standard silver dollar
shall be full legal, tender equally with
gold, for all debts. public and private,
and we favor such legislation as will
prevent the characterization of any kind
of legal tender money by private con-
tract.
The money question being thus dis
posed Of opposition to bond and bank
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1896-07-09
All She Wanted.

tFrom the Cincinnati Enquirer.)
A Scotch woman was returning by a
train from market town, where she
had made a few purchases. Just as
the last bell rang fussy gentleman,
elegantly dressed, and with mind
thyself" looking face, rushed into the
compartment, flung himself hastily
into a corner, pulled out an evening
paper, and proceeded to devour its con-
tents. Hardly had he become seated
when the woman timidly addressed
him: Il am very sorry, sir, but"
81 never listen to beggars," fiereely
interrupted the gentleman: eff you
annoy me further I'll report you"
The woman's eyes flashed, then twin
killed.. She said no more, and the old
gentleman retired with an angry froWn
behind his paper.
All went merrily as marriage bell
until the train arrived at Cromlade,
when the 'auld wife, in stepping out,
again addressed the churlish individu-
al in the corner:
Il care ma, sir, whether We report me
or no, but want that pound of butter
we've been sittin' on for these last six
mile.%
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1896-07-09
NOT INNINITY.

A judge at Lyons, New York, has de-
cided that desire for fresh air in a rail-
road car and the taking of energetic
measures to get it are not evidences of
insanity. A woman travelling on a
train complained that the air in the
car was bad. The conductor tried to
open the window in the usual way, but
was unable to do SO, and refused to
get a crowbar to pry 1t open, whereupon
the suffering woman smashed the glass
with her parasol. The conductor then
had her taken into custody on charge
of insanity. A doctor examined her
and pronounced her rational Her de-
fence was that she had paid for her
transportation and was entitled to
fresh air with it. The Judge thought
so, too, and discharged her.
II this is good law the woman who
evokedthe decision is entitled to large
vote of thanks Hitherto 1t has seemed
to be believed by railroad companies
and their servants that passengers were
entitled to only such air as it might
be convenient to give them. And as
for having car windows fixed SO that
passengers could get fresh air when
they needed it apparently that hasn't
been thought of. If it has been 1t was
long, long ago. 1t is to be hoped that
the precedent established by a brave
and suffering woman will hold, and
that others will follow it until it is
generally understood that passengers
on railroads are entitled to as good all
as there is in the regions through which
they pass Perhaps railroad companies
have hitherto saved something in car
rying air through without change. But
| if it is understood that car windows
can be smashed in order to get change
| Of air the railroad companies will prob.
ably discover that it will pay them tc
allow their air stop-overs and trans.
fers.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1896-07-09
RoOMY.

Laura-t.Last summer ] had no less
than six men at my feet Flora-s'Well,
there ought to be room for them all at
once. Cincinnati Tribune.
Little Boy--'aThe preacher says there
is no marryin' in heaven" Little Girl
-"Of course not There wouldn't be
enough men to go round. NORTH La
Crosse Argus.
Two of a ind.-"Jehiel,' said the
old lady in awed tones, that there
man with the big bosom pin give the
porter a dollar"
A bitter expression gathered about
the old mans mouth as he looked out
of the car window.
oh said he. them plutocrats is all
good to each other, black er white. -
Indianapolis Journal.
"'rhe popularity of the onion," said
Asbury Peppers, helping himself to
three of the half-dozen young springs
the landlady had provided as a special
treat, lis due to the law of gravita-
ton Wait said the high school
boarder; II don't quite comprehend +"
THE law of gravitation,' Mr. Peppers
further explained, sis shown by attrac-
ton to common scenter. "-Louisville
Post
The excessively plump gentleman had
gone into the clothier's to get ready
made coat. II always come here" he
said affably to the salesman; cts the
only place in town where | can get
garments big enough for me- Yes
sir. I remember your size. Boy" he
shouted to an attendant bring me one
of those sixteen to one coats" IT don't
want a political platform; L want q
coat" "That's all right, Sir And
I'm gold standard man, anyhow.
don't see that you've got any business
to try to ring in any campaign badges
on me-" "This isn't the same sixteen
to one" replied the clerk. ITS little
exaggeration we employ to designate
an extra large size.'' "What does it
mean?' "Sixteen yards of cloth to one
coat" -Washington Star.