The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-03-03

gar possession will not. But it is not by
mingling in society. nor in court life.
but in the home, that these essential
codes of etiquette are best cultivated.
Mothers are far more responsible than
they seem to realize for the cultivation
Of the. small re1nements and conrtesies
that will mean so much to their children
throughout their lives.
~well-known writer said recently on
the "Etiquette of High Life: There
are manuals of social etiquette, of court
etiquette, of that pertaining to official
life, elaborate dissertations on the nice
ties Of the various shades of difference
and distinctions to be observed in the
conspicuous circles of the great whirl of
gayety going on in the large centres of
activity. Much attention to all the
minutia of detail relating to the various
forms of entertainment, just where the
lines are drawn, to overstep which means
very nearly social ostracism. In fact.
the code of society, its conventionalities.
its laws and bylaws, are set forth with
soIicitous painstaking by the various in
structors of the uninitiated; but after
all. to thoroughly comprehend and APP
preciate the true inwardness-the I'M
yielding rigidity of the unwritten. yet
potent laws that prevail in society-one
must indeed be one Of them"
Now, this may all be very true, yet
ehe -wight-hearted mother will realize
that none of these particular phases of
etiquette are half so important as the
more domestic aspect of the question,
the etiquette of the home life. the home,
bred refinement that will do so much
o..a So +io;r o1ll-or q, e,o;al - ~
other standing than all the mannerisms
and cast-iron rules of fashion. L know
a delightful home composed of a large
family, where in the daily life the OBJ
servance of kindly. well-bred inter-
course, little acts of attention are shown
each other, not merely reserved for
strangers within the gates and for state
/ occasions.
Children are quick and keen observers.
noting many an action, speech or look
and making a mental memorandum to
result it may be sometimes to the con-
fusion OF the parents, TIL small atten-
tfcns of the father to the wife and
mother, a Difference of manner inspired
by affection and respect that should be
mutual, gives the keynote ITO the whole
household harmony.
It is the fathers privilege as well as
duty to incuscate early in the life of his
boys these lessons of tenderness and re-
spect oward all women. The daily obser-
vance of loving courtesy goes far toward
accomplishing this end. 1t is in these
young days that the habits of manner
are formed to last through life. for re-
fined manner are not the growth of a
week or a year. but the slowly perfected
product of the ~accumulating years. Only
then do they become that second nature
that SO quickly stamps the true lady and
gentleman.
Attention and f~orethought, the desire TO
contribute to the pleasure and comfort of
one parent by the other. a regard for the
others opinions, preferences and wishes,
all influence the children, who will of
course follow unconsciously in the same
lines. Loving attention may as easily and
quickly become a habit in the home as
the thoughtless neglect SO often notice.
e ehle.
1t is also well to have a certain degree
of formality in the home. A brother
should be SO trained that he will take it
fer granted that tenderness and a GER
tain chivalry are expected of him toward
his sister. not necessarily always giving
dR III All 04lt u ~ lOaol
showing her as much Difference as he
would any girl of his acquaintance. A
sister should be taught to respect her
brothers rights and give an interchange
generally of kind sentiments and actions.
This may sound decidedly formal written
down, but this very formality in the home
life should. like the forethought, and at
~tention, and all the other little courtesies,
be simply a habit of the daily life, uncon-
sc.ously performed.
A timid child can be brought forward
and taught to forget self. and thus saved
much future suffering, If sensib1y man
aged in the home. A bright boy once
asked when quite new to this world, and
very voracsous about questioning, .How
shall l know about everything if l don't
ask q~uestions?'' We seem to forget that
this is the only method of their obtaining
information while they are still too young
to read.
Their little minds are as absorbent of
Information as a sponge is of water. An
swer them reasonably even when you are
occupied with otf Ier things, and if neces-
sary tell them to- defer some particularly
trying question until you are at liberty to
satisfy them.
A certain small man of my acquaint-
ance, who has not yet seen five summers,
at times inspires one with the greatest
respect because Of this very home train
ing. His little lordship's dignity and seri-
Gus earnesfness are SO unconscious and SO
real that / find myself compelled to treat
him with much consideration. 1t is an
easy matter, when the children are young,
to win the faith and love and trust they
are SO ready to give.
Don't set a broom down when through
with it. Burn a hole in the handle and
hang it up.
Don't let it get dirty. Cleanse often by
putting In a pail of 1ukewarm soapsuds.
or hold under a faucet.
Don't use a broom straw to test a cake.
It is not neat and is very dangerous, as
many broonls are soaked in an arsenic
solution to give them their green color.
Don't sweep with your back. Use your
arms and the broom, with not too long a
stroke.
Don't put salt on the floor when about
to sweep. Dampen a newspaper tear in
pieces throw on the carpet.
"A dainty little gown made of gray
alpaca, intended to be worn by an Easter
~ IL -