Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1896-01-20
AN IMPECUNIOUS ONE.
THE BOLRGAME OF BLUFF HE PLAYED
 ON THE CONDUCTOR.

put a bttnk (lerk-AAccoEuiHS to tHc
 Man Who Tells the Story. He Ought to
 Re an Actor-oh. It Was wickedi
 He sat ill hotel smoking room. The air was blue, but men were happy happy and reminiscent. He stretched out his legs, thrust his hands deep into his pockets, and between the puffs spun this yarn:
 For dead cold, icy nerve had al= ways thought we travelling men took the cake. But the prettiest game of bluff I eyer saw was put up by a man who was neither a drummer nor a reporter, but merely an oyerworked bank clerk who had applied for a leave of absence and gone south to reeuperate. He had drawn a certain sum for the trip and resolved not to exceed it. Foolishly he had neg lected to buy an excursion ticket, argu ing that he might want to return by different route. And then, as a matter of course, he found that he had spent his money not wisely but too well, so that he was hundreds of miles from home, ticketless and friendless and we'll nigh penniless. His eheekbook was useless, for no one knew him and he must be identified
 "All this learned later on. My ac- quaintanee with him began on the train of one of the southern roads, whom he asked mo to stake him enough to see him home. had already been touched several times that trip, so, expressing ey cry confidence in his probity, declined the honor he would do me. He tried several other passengers with like re- suit. Then he gave it up, but made us all promise not to interfere with any game he tried to play.
 Presently the conductor came along. The impecunious one, his hat cCeked over one eye, was peacefully sleeping in one corner of his seat, leaning toward an open window. The conductor shook him, gently at first, so that he stirred, and his hat dropped farther over his eye, but he did not wake Then more roughly, saying, Come, sir, your ticket, please
 At that the impecunious one awoke with big start. His hat flew out of the window, and he flew into great rage. He swore at the conductor and abused him up and down, him and his fore fathers unto the third and fourth gener- ation. What did he mean by waking him in that way? Didn t he know that rest was invaluable to an invalid? That such a sudden, rude awakening might be fatal to a weak heart? Were his nerves of no account? And now he had lost his hat and would catch cold. It was out rageous.
 The conductor bowed before the storm, and when it had somewhat abat- ed offered to replace the hat at the firg6 stopping place. And now, sir, let me see your ticket, please.
 "The impecunious one felt in all his pockets, went through them all again with bewildered air. Finally he broke out Why, you idiot, you, all my tick cts, not only on this road, but straight through to Chicago, were in the lining of my hat, and you knocked it out of the window Pm in a pretty pickle now. haven t enough with me to buy a fresh set. This piece of idiooy will cost you your job. I'll report you to the company and teach you to be more care ful how you startle nervous man.
 "The conductor tried to soothe him, offered to take him through to the end of the division. But the impecunious one would not be appeased. Much good it would do him to ba-1anded ii some ,lf I1IIi6 n6arby, one horse southern town hundreds of miles from nowhere. He wanted to get through to Chicago. He must get through. He had an appoint ment there that was worth thousands of dollars. Finally the conductor, by this time badly frightened, promised to get him tickets or passes all the way through, and the impecunious one sub sided And to the end of that road the conductor, having replaced tho dear de, parted hat, maintained an humbly apol- ogetie tone that would have wrung tears of blood from a stone.
 And it was only q bluff all so we'll carried out that the conductor was completely taken in, and the rest of us rubbed our eyes and wondered whether the impeeunious one's attempt to touch us was not, after all, a dream.
 Later on, travelng over that same road, told the conductor how he had been worked And he said he knew it. for shortly after that trip he had receiv cd letter aud check, the former con fessing the fraud, the latter paying him the full price of the passage. And he added That fellow was genius. If he had made a fuss at first about his tick cts, I'd have been on to him ill min ute, but his tickets were forgot5en. It was his nerves, his health, his heart, his hat that were of importance And to think that ha had no nerves, or health, or hat-or heart. Oh, it was wicked But that man has missed his vocation He ought to be oR the stage. "-Chica- go Tribune.