davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
DID HE LOVE BUT ONCE,
Orators Who Deliver Eulogies should
KNOW All the Facts First.

Orators who Deliver Eulogies Should
Know All the Facts First.
There are women in this advanced age
Of civilization who are ready TO hinder
the efforts of reformers to abolish the
funeral pyre Of the Hindoo.
A memorial meeting was held few
DAYS ago in honor Of man who had
been prominent in public work. His
former colleagues and intimate friends
filed the large platform. Among them
sat his widow, weeping silently under
her crepe veil. One after another the
orators of the occasion laid tributes Of
eloquence at the altar Of his memory.
One, more inspired and with longer
speech than the rest, followed the his
tory of his life from the time of his
birth, "in the troublous days when all
Europe was aghast at the sight of Ma
poleon striding over the ruins of empires
to universal throne.
"But the most important event of his
life," he continued, happened at n
later date. 1t was at fancy ball that
he met, as he afterward said, the first
and only love Of his life. He was there
disguised as a highlander.
WHAT" he whispered as some one
tugged at his coat, but getting no reply,
he went on-"And the lady Of his
choice was dressed here there was an
other tug-'was dressed as a Turkish
cigarette girl After a short courtshir
they were married.
He then continued the eulogy of the
youthful bride of the deceased in ex'
travagant terms. When he sat down q
neighbor orator whispered, "You forgot
his widow"
"Oh, 10, didn't. l gave her a goot
send Off "
Good heavensl ~ exclaimed the 9th
or. "This is his third wife w-Nev
York Herald.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
corrosIon Of Metal. by Water.

The peculiar statement is made by
NJ. Bauchier in lie Revue Maritime ct
Coloniale that corrosion of metals by
water may be caused by the action Of
heterogeneous present in particular
harbors, but absent in the ocean. 1t ap-
pears that the fact, as ascertained. Of
pure aluminium plates immersed in
Norfolk Roads being badly corroded at
the end Of three months, while in
France commercial aluminium subject
ed to the same test was practically I'M
touched, and two plates attached TO the
bottom Of ship were uninjured after
voyage around the world, led him to in
vestigate the sea water from different
places, with the following results, as
stated: If introduced into boilers, the
Mediterranean water, which contains
more salt than the Atlantic water.
causes more damage; so does the water
taken from estuaries and near the shore,
which contains a larger proportion Of
nitrates from fermenting organic mat
ter. The destructive power of the shore
water Is much reduced. however, if it
be sterilized by means of boiling.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
People Who Look over Houses.

"My duty is to show intending ten
ants over the houses to let which ap
pear on our books, " said a man employ
ed by one Of the great firms Of land and
house agents in London. 1T might sur
prise you to know that some people
have a perfect craze for looking over
houses, though they are comfortably
housed enough already and have no inn
mediate intention of removing. l have
shown the same couple-middle aged
folks with nothing to do apparently
over scores Of houses, from cottages to
mansions
"And as for 'faddy' people-well, !
am afraid that the ladies are, in gener-
al, the hardest to please, but then, you
see, the whole responsibility is mostly
left TO them. Some Of them find that
every house they look at has some seri-
GUS drawback, and they will keep me
for hours at a time while they peer
about. As general principle the ladies
want bigger and finer house than they
can afford. Often enough the gentleman
who accompanies them never says a
word, but Tolls about and smokes list
lessly. "-Pearson's Weekly.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Is it known generally that works OF
art were we'll paid for in ancient times;
A German review furnished recently
some particulars about that question.
Polygnote of Thasos, who lived about
45O B. c., refused, it is true, any pay
ment for his works and declared that
he was sufficiently rewarded with the
title of citizen of Athens, which had
been conferred Oh him. But such disin-
terestedness was seldom initiated. Thir-
~ years later the painter Zeuxis OF
Heracleum was called to the court OF
Archelaus 1, king Of Macedonia. He re-
ceived for his frescoes in the palase OF
Pella 400 "mines, about IS, 600. Nina
son Of Elathea paid $50, 1000 for Bat
tie With the Persians, " which he had
ordered from Aristides, the leader OF
the Theban school Pamphilus of Syci-
one gave n course Of lectures ON painting
each pupil paid for attendance one
talent, - or 81 200 year. Apelles re-
ceived 90 gold "talents, " about $780,
900, for portrait of Alexander !, or
dered by the city Of Ephesus.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
CAVE CRAM HIS START.
How the Great Commander Went Back
Into the Army.

How the Great Commander "ent D~o~
Into the Army.
Tho Washington Post is authority for
The statement that the late cenerat
Thomas J. Pitcher gave General Grant
his real start. They had been classmates
At West Point. At the opening "a the
.ivil war Pitcher, then captain, had
been sent to Springfield, Ills, to act as
United States mastering officer. A
,tranper entered his Office one day, and
Pitcher relates the following story OF
The interview:
"'You don't seem to remember me-
Tom, said the visitor.
Ono. | don't,'I said, but I've seen
ron somewhere l know.
"sI'm Sam Grant, he answered.
Ellis beard had go changed him that
Ibid not know him, and then. you see
had not seen him since lS49. He sat
down, and / said: We'll. Sam, how does
il happen that you are hereE
81 came here, he said, TO get some
thing TO do. Can't you give me some
thing, Tom|
"sYes. l can said l. you know
how to make ont muster rollsF
az should think 80, said Grant, With
the first smile seen on his face.
"'Well. am allowed 500 per month
and rations for a clerk. If you like take
that table over there and begin now. .
A month later Pitcher walked INTO
his Office and handed his clerk an official
envelope directed to Colonel U. 5.
Grant" The clerks face turned red,
then pale.
"Theres your chance. SAM" said
Captain Pitcher. -.
"Tll never forget this, Tom, neverV
answered the other as be wiped some
thing out Of his eyes with his handker
chief
Nor did he Until Grants death nj
was Pitchers faithful friend and helper
1t was always "Sam" and tom" be
tween them.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
Seemed Quite Natural.

The football player was experiment.
ing with bicycle. and it baked, as BIZ
cycles sometimes will. He was olsen
tangling himself from a barbed wire
fence when the stranger came along.
machine gave you sort of sur
prise, didn't it?' asked the stranger.
II should say it did," replied the
player.
Didn't exactly know where you
were for a minute, guess, ventured
the stranger.
"That's right" returned the player.
"For a minute OF two felt sure l was
playing in the rush line. "-Chicagc
Post.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
BICYCLE IALe NO. fza4.
The Duchess IL In = DiisnmH, but Makes
IL All Right with the Duke

The Duchess IL In = DiisnmA, but Makes
IL All Right with the Duke
The Duchess Of Pomposet was with
ing. poor thing, ON the horns Of d.
lemma. Painful position, very. She was
the greatest Of great ladies, full Of fire
and fashion, aud with purple blush
(she was born that COLOR flung bongly
arms around the neck of her lord and
master. The unfortunate man was
shocking sufferer. having bad unearn-
Cd increment and enduring constant
pain ON account Of his back being broad
or than his views
''Pomposet. she cried. "Duky dar-
lingr"
when first married she had ventured
to apostrophize him as "ducky," but
bis grace thought it mira dig. and they
compromised by emitting the vulgar
&C. y
"Dulry," she said. raising pale. dis
tinguished eyes to Chippendale mir
ror. II have made up my mind
"Don'tl" expostulated the trembling
peer. "You are so rash -
"wbat is more, ! have made up
yours.
ITO make up the mind Of an English
duke" he remarked with dignity, IRE
quires no ordinary intellect, yet / be-
lieve with your feminine hydraulics you
are capable Of anything. Jane"
(That his aristocratic rib should have
been named plain Jane was chronic
sorrow.
Don't keep me in suspense. he con-
tinued. "In fact, to descend to "a colo
quialism, insist ON your grace letting
the cat out of the bag with the least
possible delay"
"As you will" she replied. You
blood be on your own coronet- Prepare
for a revelation. have falleni No
once, but many times"
"Wretched woman IL beg pardon
wretched grande dame Call upon Dc
brett to cover you"
81 am madly in love with
"By my taffeta and ermine,
swear
peace, peace" said Jane. Com
pose yourself, duky-that is, Plantage
net. Forgive the slip. ! am agitated
My mind ru1s on slips.
The duke groaned.
"Horrid, awful slips.
With a conntenance Of alabaste- b
tore at his sandy topknot.
''I have deceived you. i admit il
STOPPED to folly"
A supercilious cry rent the air as tn
duke staggered on his patrician limbs.
With womanly impulse, fiinging cast
to the winds, Jane caught the majesti
form to her FACILITATING alpaca and, wa
tering his beloved features with duel
essy drops, cried in passionate accents
my king My sensitive plant Hea'
ems It's his unlucky back Be cain
Plantagenetl l Notwithstanding
to-bikel THERE On the sly ~
The duke tapped a reviving toe an
squeezed the august fingers
II am madly enamored of-my mi
chine.
The peer smoothed a ruffied topkn
with ineffable grace.
, Likewise am determined you sha
? take lessons. Now it is no use, duky.
mean to be tender but firm with you.
: The potentate gave stertorous che
, tie, and, stretching ont his arms, fC
, in a strawberry leaf swoon ON the pa
uuet floor, his ducal head ON the lap
his adored Jane.-Punch.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
LOCKED uP sY woooPeckeRs.
The Fate Of Ground Owl That Had rHken
Possession of Their Home.

The rate OF Ground Owl Thai Had Inkon
Possession Of Their Home.
Although the woodpecker Is industri-
ous. provident and peaceful. he is not
to be trified with or tyrannized over
with impnnity. as the following incl
dent will show:
A companion and ON an August day
pitched onr camp at spring ON the ia
BILE lands Of the ridge dividing DIAL from
Santa Clara valley. About the spring
stands a large grove Of live oaks. In
one Of these not fur from the tent door
q pair Of woodpeckers had for years no
doubt made their dwelling place. Some
what shy Of us at first. the birds in a
few days paid little attention to our
presence. It frequently amused Us
Of sultry afternoon as we lounged up
on the buffalo robes laid ON the shaded
grass to observe the birds with whose
labors the warmth appeared to have lit
tie to do.
We had camped there week or ten
days when before daybreak one morning
we heard commotion about the home
of our staid neighbors Our attention
was attracted by their shrill outcries
and the whir of their wings among the
branches overhead. II had no sooner
grown light enough to see than we
pushed back the flap Of the tent door
and peered ont to ascertain the cause Of
disturbance.
1t soon became apparent that little
teoolote. or ground owl. at the approach
of day had taken lodging in the hollow
occupied by the woodpeckers, to tbeii
CONSERVATION. But the return Of day
brought courage TO the rightful owners
and they resolutely set about finding
means to eject the invader. They triet
bluffing awhile about the only aperture
to the hollow tree, but to little purpose
other than to cause the tecolote to peel
at them when they appeared to be abou
to thrust themselves in.
At last, finding that neither threat
nor entreaties were likely to DO effect
i've, and resolved that il they were L
be deprived of their home 1t would b
the last of that tyrannical owl, tn
woodpeckers brought presently from
another part of the grove an oak ball o
the size of the aperture. and. driving i
tightly into the hole, withdrew to an
other hollow tree. leaving the bird o
prey Theoretically sealed up.
After several days, when we starte
to return to San Buenaventure. the bal
was still in the hole, and the woodpeck
ers, settled in their new home, were nc
ing about their business as il there ha
never been a tecolote. Portland Press
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

If the greatest objection to monarchy
is that a nation may thus run the risk OF
being ruled by fool or scoundrel, the
greatest objection to certain forms OF
democracy should be that nation may
thus run the risk of being governed by
500 of such. A great English lord was
one day confdentially informed that his
steward robbed him. Il know IT. he
replied, "but my steward sees that no.
body else robs me-" That English lord
was a wise man. And, as for costs, l
believe that enough money is spent and
enough business is stopped during a
presidential campaign in America to
keep all the crowned heads of Europe
during the four years of the president :
time of Office. Max O'Rell In North
American Review.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

By local applications. As they csnns reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There In
only one way to cure Deafness, and that IL
by constitutional remedies. Deafness Il
caused by an Unframed condition Of the
mucous lining OF the Eustachian Tube.
When this tube gets inhamed you have q
rumbling sound or imperfect hearing. and
when II is entirely closed Deafness Is the
result, and unless the Inflammation can b
take out aud tnis tube restored 10 its nor.
catarrh, which IL nothing but an in
famed condition Of the mucous surfaces
We will ri One Hundred Dollars fol
any case Of Deafness lcaused by catarrh
that cannot be cured by Hall Catsrrf
Cure. Send for circulars, tree
J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo, o.
~ Sold by Druggists, $50.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
A Little Particular.

al had such lovely dream last
night" cried Eleanor. Il dreamed that
I was married to a man who looked ike
Iucien. talked like Jack and had
Charities good qualities. "
"Then at last you were suiteds what
a pity YOU couldn't merge the three into
one in some such fashion. 1t would set
tie your nind for you
"Ye-yes. l suppose so, said Eleanor
hesitatingly, "only l would like him to
be able to sing like Harold tool"-Chi-
cago Times Herald.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
THE COLONEL WAS MEAN.
For = Big Man He Played = Small Game
with His Car Tickets

-
Colonel Blank was a big, pompous
man, as it behooves one to be who as
pires to military title without the
drawbacks of military life. He was
always calling peoples attention to his
marked facial resemblance TO James g.
Blaine, 1.-THE greatest man, sir, this GEN.
tury and this country have produced.
And people-ill natured people. that
is-thought the colonel had vivid i'm
agination. There was prodigality
about his physique that one somehow
expected to see repeated in the colone's
character. And to hear the colonel hold
forth from the end of the boarding
house table over which he presided the
unsophisticated boarder would never
have doubted that such a reasonable ex-
pectation would be realized on closer
acquaintance.
What, then, was this unsophisticated
ones surprise TO hear the doughty colo
mel, evidently in a high good humor
with himself, say one day:
"Well, earned my fare down town
today.
That the colonel would stoop to earn
a nickel was remarkable; that be should
boast of it was incredible
lyon see" proceeded the man Of
military aspirations, II went down in
the carette Getting in at Schiller street.
the carette was empty. and / went up
to the front and bought six tickets for
quarter. One / dropped in the box.
Then as the car filed up l was exceed
ingly useful to those who sat farther
down. passing their fares up and depos-
iting them. An exceedingly polite man
they all thought me. And so l am, so ]
am. But instead of dropping their nick
els in the box / dropped my tickets in
until had used up my five tickets and
confiscated five nickels. l had regained
my quarter and paid my fare. After
that was not so polite. let people
drop their nickels into the chute which
the company provides for that purpose.
Awful nuisance, that chute. But it's
not my business TO play conductor il the
company's too mean TO hire any"
And the colonel called for another
cup of tea. and the unsophisticated one
gasped to think of the smallness Of
which such greatness was capable -
Chicago Tribune.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Fine Ice means very cold weather. then
comes high old time in skating Kinks,
and skating ponds. on sli es and rides.
and We go home tired and overheaied. It's
the same old story OF cooling of; of with
pains, -heumstlc. neura'gic, sciHtic, lum-
Dagic, including frost bites. bachache. even
toothache. They who dance must pay the
piper. We cut up Jack and are brought
low by our own folly. What OF il, the
dance will go on, all the same. II IL gen
orally known that St. Jacobs Oil will curt
all such aches and pains separately OF col
lectiyely, and the cry il on with the dance
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
increase YOUR 1soomE

BY careful Investments by mail through
a responsible firm of large experience
and great success VIII send you par
ticulars free, showing how = small
amount of money can be easily multi
piled by successful Investments In grain.
Highest Bank references. Opportunities
excellent. attison a Co., bankers and
Brokers, Room r., Omaha Building,
thfcago.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
Abxlnfh.

No intelligent person should have any
doubt about absinth being a dangerous,
insidious and subtle liquor. Whatever
temporary service it may yield, subject to
medical advice, the moment that neces-
sity ceases its further use is a cruel viola
ton Of the laws Of health and is not inapt
TO lead to the abandonment Of common
decency in appearance and department
The practical and scientific conclusions
in regard to the use Of absinth are
summed up briefly in the statement
that "the evil effects Of drinking abb
smith are very apparent. Frequent in
toxication or moderate but steady tip
ping utterly deranees the digestive sys-
TEN, weakens the frame, induces horri-
bic dreams and Authorizations and may
end in paralysis OF in idiocy."
Chambers says: "Absinth is a spirit
favored with the pounded leaves and
Towering tops of certain species Of ar
temisia, chiefly NORWOOD, together
with angelica root. sweet flag root, star
anise and other aromatics. The aromat-
les are macerated for about eight days
in alcohol and then distilled, the result
being green colored liquor. Adultera-
ton is largely practiced, usually with
the essential oils Of others herbs, but
even blue vitriol is sometimes found in
so called absinth. Its effect upon either
man or woman not actively engaged il
manual work Of some kind must be dan.
gerous. 1t makes the brain dull and IN.
reliable. Under its effects the meresi
glimpses Of mental sunshine are imme
diately followed by prolonged periods o.
detection. Sensible persons are safest i
they never touch absinth. "-BrooklyI
] Earla
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Gladys-What are you going to do
when you leave college?
Tom-Oh, live on my income, /
guess
Gladys-A man as clever as you
might do something to prove his clever
ness.
Tom-Living on my income would
prove me one of the cleverest financiers
of the age.-Life.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Medium Gin a tone with ice down its
back Madam. the spirit of your dead
husband wishes to converse with you.
The Widow Hennypeck-Huh If he
hasn't any more spirit low than he had
when he was alive, it isn't worth pay
ing attention to.-London Bits.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
A s1SouLAR Fomm OF MoSomAsrA.

There is a class Of people. rational enough In
other respects, who are certainly monomaniacs
IN dosing themselves. They are constantly try
ing experiments upon their stomschs. their
bowels. their livers and their kidneys with
trashy nosirurrs. When these organs are really
out OF order. II they would ONLY use Host er's
-tomarh Bitters. they would, II not hopclessly
insane, perceive it, superiority.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
His Prize.

Father (who has given his cnnsent)-
] hope, young man, that You know the
value Of the prize you will get in my
daughter?
Young Observation-Disclosures, sir.
don't know the exact value, but, as near
as can find out. it's in the neighbor-
hood Of 50, o00.-London Answers
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08
DON'T TOBACCO SPIT OR SMOKE
YOUR LIPE AWAY.

Is the truthful, startling title Of a book about
No o-Bsc. the harmless, guaranteed tobs co
habit care that braces up nisotinized nerves,
men gain strength. yigor and mknnood. You
run no physical OF financial risk, a. So-To- BAG
IL soil by druggists everywhere under guarsn-
Address sterling Remedy Co.. New York OF
Chicago.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Though Vermont has increased in
population but 1900 IN 20 years, Mas
sachusetts has added nearly 100000
to its inhabitants in the same times and
Rhode Island and Connecticut also Ahow
a steady growth.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

The hemlock plant grows wild in many
countries, but It Is strongest and most
abundant in the active poisonous principle
in Italy and Greece. Il is a plant of ex-
ccedingly unpleasant odor, and all parts
are considered poisonous.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Hermia-vladimir Eckstein, you have
asked for a meetin, an | Civ it; wot IL
the RESULT You say you never loved
mel Wot does all them letters mean, all
Of them writ in poekry an PERFORMED
wild wioletsi I throw the base calomel
in your teet' with bitterness); nothink
you kin say will vindicate yer conduck
to mel
Vladimir gazing at stack Of letters
OH wot a ass I've bin Truth.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

FIrs.-An Fits stopped fee by mr.. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer- No f'ts After the nrsl
days use. Marvellous cures Treatise and 10
trial bottle free TO PIT send 70 DIR. Kline
gsl Arch St., Philkdelphis Pa
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

JAPAN is an Arglicized corruption OF
Nifdhg, the name of the principal island
In 4 be Japanese empire.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

jalico was first introduced from Call
ccf In India. as stuff for gontlemen's
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

For Who ping Cough Piso's Cure is q
Throop Ave. Brooklyn. y. y, Nov. IA, 81.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Jimmy-Timmy Grossn IL tslkin' OF gittin
him q bicycle. MCKEE HIM H. amt Kot Dc
prics for the wind ~ot Eoe< In de tires-
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-02-08

Tar erHxsA for oreskfssi