davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
BRIGHT BITS.

-Pitiable Case.-"I would be mighty will
ling to work" Mr.. Dismal Dawson ex-
planned, ''if l was only able"
You look able-bodied enough" said
the Sharp-nosed lady. What Is there To
prevent you working?"
me pride. "-Indianapolls Journal.
Probably Not-Susy-Say auntie,
dear, you're an old maid aren't you?
Aunt Emma disadvantages Certainly.
Susy; but 1T is not nice of you TO ask such
a question.
Susy-Now, don't be vexed, auntie: I
know it isn't YOUR fault.-Hor si,dener
Laubfrosch.
Papa "a merchant)-I hear little Tommy
Green has taken the prize for the best
composition.
Billy apologetically)-Well, you see.
papa, his father writes books, and 1 guess
he takes after him. But, tell you what,
he's an awful duffer when 1t comes to
swapping.-Harper's Bazaar.
-"Strange." remarked Mrs. Brown. IT
have rung at Mrs. Smiths door three
times this week, and I didn't succeed in
arousng any one. 1 suppose the family
fis out of town"
Possibly" replied Mrs. Jones; but
Mrs. Smith was telling me Just now that
she could tell your ring among a thous-
and."-Spare Moments.
Taking All Precautions.-'I hope, Jen-
ME, that you have given the matter serd-
Gus consideration" said a lady to a SER
want girl who had 'given notice. because
she was to be married that day two
weeks"
ooh, l have, ma'am" was the earnest
reply. I've been to two fortune-tellers
and a clairVoyant and looked in a sign
book and dreamed on lock of his hair
and been to one of those asterrologers. and
to a meejum, and they all tell me to go
ahead. ma'am. l amt one to marry reck-
less like. ma'am."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
Reeds Hope.

Speaker Reed is still hopeful that the
tariff bin that is now tied up in the Senate
will be passed eventually by that body
and sent TO the President. He calls IL a
revenue biH-in fact. all the republicans
call 20 a revenue bill-though the amount
az revenue IL would give the treasury
would Doe so small that it would hardly be
noticeable in the treasury's receipts. Mr.
Reed knows this very well. but he thinks
the bin would help him TO get the presi-
dental nomination OF his party. because
fl would enable the manufacturers Of
many kinds Of articles to get very much
better prices FOR their products. il is ap-
parent. therefore. that in urging the pas
sage Of the tariff bin Mr. Reed is not
seeking especially 10 embarrass President
Cleveland, nor is il his purpose chiefly to
have the revenues Increased. He is simply
trying to increase his own popularity with
the manufacturers who pretend to believe
that a high tariff law would encourage
prosperity.
The argument that the republicans are
using in behalf Of the tariff bill. viz. that
gold goes out of the treasury because the
revenues are not sufficient and that the
passage Of the tariff increasing bill would
stop the outflow of gold is so lacking in
common sense that it makes very little
impression on the public mind
There are only two ways in which the
gold revenue can be kept intact. One is
by making customs duties payable i'm gold
and the other is by selling bonds for gold.
Until the law is changed no gold will go
into the treasury from revenue sources.
Even if the revenue should be doubled
the gold reserve would not be increased
and gold would continue to be drawn out
OF the treasury for the same purposes that
il is now drawn out.
We are inclined to think the republicans
know that the pending tariff bin would
not relieve the treasury of its difficulties.
They simply want to pass the bill in order
to strengthen their party with certain
manufacturers in the presidential cam
paign. Their purpose would be served
even if the bill. having passed congress.
should be vetoed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

The New York sun calls attention 20
the fact. which appears to have been over
looked. that the time in which Venezuela
must give an answer 10 Great Britain's
peremptory demand for an apology and
indemnity for the alleged affront TO her
officials on the Yuruan river expires on
Feb. .. What is Venezuela going to do?
Is she going to apologize and pay the in
demnity2 II she refuses reparatI0n on the
ground that the Yuruan incident is part
of the boundary dispute what course will
Great Britain take2 VIII she send her
flying squadron to Venezuela's chief sea-
port. and proceed TO enforce her de
mand as she did at Corinto?
II she should adopt that course would
there be any Interference by this country?
These are Interesting questions. There
is no probability that our Venezuela boun-
Diary commission will make a report soon.
1t is more than likely that it will not be
ready 10 report inside of six months. We
have therefore good excuse for not in
terfering il we should think it advisable
not TO do so.
II is not improbable that Great Britain
will not insist upon the demand for rep
aration for the Yuruan affair, but will
let IT pass to be considered in connection
with the boundary dispute. 1t is noticea-
able that the tone of her newspapers. in
discussing the Venezuela matter is much
milder than it was Immediately after the
Presidents Venezuela message. Still, It
would not do TO assume that she is not
prepared and does not intend to force a
settlement of the Yuruan incident in ac-
cordance with her original demand.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
Personal.

John w. Keely. the inventor Of Phil
adelphia, who was knocked down the 9TH
er day by a runaway horse. received pain
ful' but not serious injuries.
Joseph II. Choate recently stated to a
group of statesmen in Washington that
ne had never seen a game of poker play
ed, had never attended horse race and
never travelled on a pass. Il wish l could
say THAR exclaimed a senator. why
can't youY' cried Speaker Reed. "ChOate
does"
Capt Jackson. an English seafaring
man, is trying to raise funds for an ex-
ploration of the northeast passage TO
China and America, to see whether it can
be made practicable for merchant vessels.
II the money for ship cannot be obtained,
he viii start out next summer in his
thirty-seven foot sailing boat, the Ven
ture.
Strangely enough. the city of Phila-
delphia has never had fitting monu-
ment to it's most illus triOuS citizen, Ben
jamin Franklin. But it will have at least
two in the near future. Justus c. Straw
bridge Of Philadelphia has commissioned
John J. Boyle TO model a statue of Frank
lin, and another statue of him will soon
be erected by the FairmOunt Park Art
Association.
Work is soon to be started on the
Phillips Brooks memorial library. to be
erected in Hyde Park. Mass. 1t is the gift
of Mrs. L. f. Stetson of Boston, whose
country home Is near the site of the pro-
posed building, and who is deeply inter
ested in the Blue Hill chapel, where
Bishop Brooks preached his last sermon.
The building VIII be of wood, forty feet
square, will cost about $4,000 and will he
given to the directors of the Blue Hill
chapel.
In noticing the death the other day of
benjamin Liverman at the age of IS years,
the Minneapolis Tribune says: Mr.. LiV-
erman was a great traveller in his younger
days. and rode over the earliest railroads
of the world. He was also the first traV-
cling man to go on the road in this coun-
try, going through the southern states for
New York jewelry house. He went to
California in 1851 on the same ship with
Horace Greeley. They were quarantined
at Panama for six weeks, when the rail-
road was being built. and Mr. Liverman
knew from his own observation the truth
of the statement that every tie in that
road cost human life"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

The Monroe Advertiser says Speaker
Reed made "a commendable effort to tell
the truth" when he said that Hon. H.
c.. Turner was the ablest democrat in
congress. This, says the Valdosta
Times, calls to mind an incident which
occurred in the famous debate in the
House two years ago when the Wilson
bill was on its passage. Messrs. Reed
and Turner got into a very warm and eX-
citing colloquy on the floor in regard to
the Reed rules of the Fifty-irst con-
gresS, and the decision of the supreme
court thereon. The Georgian got Reed
in a. close place and was putting his
Damascus blade into the then eX-czar
with great skill and deXterity. The dem
ocrats applauded Turner's thrusts with
great vigor and enthusiasm. When Reed
got in a word he said: 1T is very i'm
proper for you boys over on that side to
be making such noise, unless you I'M
derstood what the gentleman from Geor-
gia and l are talking about" This
brought a frantic yell from the repub-
licans, of course, but the democratic
boys kept up the applause for Turner
throughout the conoquy just the same.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
Could This Elephant read.

"Speakin' about animals, to my expe-
rience the elephant is the smartest of the
whole caboodle," said the ex-canvasmar
to London Tft-Bits. 81 remember back in
SO, when 1 was with Barnum, ole Emp'roI
showed one day he could read"
"Oh, come off"
Il won't come off, neither. An I'll
prove in to you in about two minutes
Well, as l was sayin', the old fellow got
into a scrap with the royal Bengal tiger
and fore We could get 'em separated he
got his trunk purity badly chawed up
After the scrimmage was over, Emp roI
he breaks loose and starts down the steet
on a dead run. He's goin' wild some
body hollers. Don't you believe it, says
I. Now, where do you suppose that there
elephant went to?"
Went to the surgeons 1 suppose. Say,
can't you get up a better yarn"
Nav, he didn't go to no surgeons s,
neither. He went straight to a little port
manteau shop which had the sign out
that said, Trunks repaired while you
wait OF course he had made a mistake,
but what do you expect of a poor dumb
70
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
The statesman's Boomeranr ,Jolke

One member of the House is in a regular
stew just now. says the Washington
Times. He is telling the story on him
self:
Il was slightly surprised, a few days
ago, 10 receive letter from a constit-
uent, as follows:
Dear Judge-Tlm Dooley SAYS that
government gives away fish to those who
apply. l don't know if this is so or not;
out II so l wish you would send me some.
The only kind we get here are in half
pound packages, called homeless cod. And
they are no account, and then they make
you thirsty If they give away any fish
hooks l wish you would send me some,
for the major, Ransom Brown, Judge
Kaufman and have planned to go fishing
as soon as the weather opens up. You
know they all worked well for you last
time
For the sake of the joke. I dropped
into sporting goods store and bought
a tin box of hooks for Sl.50, sent it to
my friend with note saying that l was
very glad that / had some tishhooks still
left from my quota, though there had been
a great demand for them and the horse
and the President had been so occupied
with bonds and congress on his hands
so long that our supply was exhausted.
regretted also that the ducks have been
wild or could maybe have got some, but
last trip Grover only got thirteen, and he
needed most of those himself.
The result was fourteen requests for
fshhooks within a week, and they are
still coming. 1t is no use saying that
Uncle Sam does not handle fishhooks,
as here are the hooks and there is my
letter, and If | don't send them every
last man that refuse will sharpen a knife
for me next campaign, and If l do l will
go broke. Don't fool with the granger"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
The MORNING NEWS is Dubls

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and is served 90
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail.
al SlO0 a month. 500 for six months. ana
$1,000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mail six
times a week without Sunday issuel.
three months. 500; SIX months. $780, one
year. $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS, . issues week,
Monday and Thursday, by mail. one
year. Sl-O0.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re
nit by postal order. check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk Of
senders.
Transient advertisements. other than
special column. local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column,
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines Of agate
type-equal to one inch space in depth
IS the standard of measurement Con-
tract rates and discounts made known on
application at business office.
Orders for delivery Of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place OF
business may be made by postal card
or through telephone No. 2lO Any irreg-
ularity in delivery should be Immediately
reported to the office Of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ca.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row, New
York City. c. S. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
Poor start in Life.


"You are rich and talented
He nodded assent, says the Chicago
Press.
yet you do nothing worthy of your OPP
portunities"
He sighed.
Have you no ambition for a great pub
lie career?"
A look of despair crept into his eyes.
IT had-once," he said, brokenly, "but
that dream was shattered by a fearful
revelation my father made to me when 1
left college. 1t is hopeless-hopeless.
His friend sneered. Some pretty scam
dial in the family history, 1 suppose?" he
muttered impatiently.
tWorse-worse than that"
Insanity in the family?"
There was a note of real alarm in his
friends voice as he asked this question
Mono. Wealth, breeding, brains count
for nothing against adverse fate. l can
not born in a log cabin My parents al
ways lived in a brick house"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
Just Like a woman

In Rochester the other evening, says
the Rochester Union, a woman got on a
street car, carrying an apple and her
purse in her hand. She sat down next
to a young man, and, as she supposed
put her purse and the apple in the side
pocket of her sack. The young man got
out at Union street, and the car Went
on. A passenger happening to look out
of the rear window saw him rushing after
the car, wildly calling for it to stop. Fin
ally, the bell was rung and the young man
caught up and got on. Going to the wo-
man who had sat beside him, he said:
MADAM, here are your apple and purse.
You put them in my pocket by mistake. .
Everybody in the car laughed but the Wo-
man. She looked angry and did not even
thank the young man who had gone to
SO much trouble to return her property.
II ne had not returned the articles she
picked her pocket.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
aWay its Mealth b al.

March is not far distant. 1t is to be
a great day, according 10 the informa-
ton that comes from Washington county.
calculation which proves to his mind con-
clusively, so he says that on March 5. 1896.
the world will witness the second com
ing of Christ and exactly 1.2SO days there
after the end Of the world will come. 1t
is said that some thousands of negroes
have faith that the prophets words will be
fulfilled. and in anticipation have provided
themselves with flowing white robes to
be worn on March s.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
No Use for a Convention.
From the Macon Telegraph CDem.)

Senator Tillman of South Carolina has
sounded the keynote of his campaign. He
intends to have his so-called democracy
send delegates to Chicago with the dis
tinct understanding that unless a plat
form satisfactory to him is adopted his
delegates will bolt. If that is to be the idea,
what is the use of having a convention at
all. There is absolutely no chance for a
platform to suit everybody.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
The Georgia Penitentiary.
From Springfield (Mass) Republican Oh

The results of the investigation into the
manner of managing the convict camps in
Georgia, is the exposure of abuses of long
standing and aggravated character. The
story is the familiar one where the convict
lease system is in operation. and where
prisoners are left to the care of men whose
only interest is to get the largest return for
the investmen they have made, by getting
the most work possible out of the convicts
Cruelty, neglect and insufficient food and
clothing for the convicts have been proved
and the result is practically certain to be
the abolition of the barbarous lease sys-
tenn IN Georgia, and the substitution of
modern penitentiary therefor.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

The Kentucky legislatures session Will
expire by limitation within a few days The
governor is republican. and will not call
an extra session. In case of the failure Of
the legislature to elect a senator to sue
coed Blackburn, the governor will make
an ad interim appointment. The appoin-
tee would probably not be Hunter the re-
publican candidate. but it would be some
other republican There is story to the
effect that Senator Blackburn is willing to
save himself by signing a pledge to vote
with the sound money element in the SEN
ate. This, however. may be doubted.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

Miss Josephine Locke. supervisor of
drawing in the public schools of Chicago.
illustrated the other day at a meeting of
the Public Education Association in New
York. how the children of Chicago are be-
ing trained to search the columns of the
newspapers in studying topics of a public
nature. 1t should be one of the functions
of every school to teach children how to
read newspapers, and also what newspa-
pers TO read.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
Told in Chicago.

The following story must be true. be
cause 1t happened two weeks ago at Aus
tin and last week in Lake View, says the
Chicago Record II has also been various
~ ascribed 10 Evanston and Chicago
nights, and the last man who told IL men
Uoned the name Of the people concerned
and said he knew them we'll
Mr. Burton was aroused shortly after
nldnlsht by his wife. who said that little
Freddie was coughing just as though ne
had the Group and for him (AIr BurtonD
70 go and bring the doctor.
I.nereupOn Mr- Burton aroused himself
cioJhes. As his wife was helping him on
with his Overcoat she asked him:
THOMAS, have you your revolver"
No mad better take it2''
Il should think so. It's late and the
streets are fearfully dark"
she handed him the weapon, which he
cautiously slipped into the side pocket of
ms oVercoat, where he could keep his
hand on IT,
Il was indeed a very dark night. He
could barely discern the shapes of trees.
fences and houses. AS he turned a cor
ner he ran heavily against another man.
Ihey cOlhded fully, and then Mr. Burton
Jumped backward, with his heart in his
throat.
Excuse me-" said the man in the dark
ness. and he passed on.
Burton took firmer hold on his weapon.
Ihen he happened to think of something
he relt for his watch. 1t was gone. The
Fellow had pumped into him so as to Slip
lne watch from his pocket.
Burton drew his revolver and ran after
the robber, who began to run.
stop, or III shoot" shouted Burton.
The man stopped and leaned against the
fence.
Now said Burton, with the revolver
advanced. you give me that watch"
The robber handed it over
Now, you saipp," and the fellow ran.
W hen Burton reached home he was pale
and excited, but quite exhausted.
A tootpad ran into me and grabbed my
made him give it back"
Why, Thomas" exclaimed his dismay-
ed WIFE, Il took the watch out of your
vest pocket before you started"
Now in at least three suburbs where all
this happened the doctor came in a half
hour later.
He was agitated and explained that he
mad been called away on an urgent case
at the time when Mr.. Burton called at
his house.
And right at this next corner" he add
ed, Il was held up by the most villainous-
looking highwayman you ever saw and
robbed OF my watch"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

The governor of New York has signed
the insurance bill which permits the state
superintendent of insurance to treat for
eign insurance companies doing business
in this state just as New York companies
are treated by the governments of said
foreign countries" This is by way of re-
taliation for restrictions placed upon
American companies doing business in
Germany.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

The patent office reports show that dur
ing 1895, 2O,s0S patents were granted. The
wooden nutmeg yankee continues to lead
as an inventive genius. Connecti-
cut received one patent for every 99S
of population. South Carolina stands at
the foot of the list, with one patent for
every 25,5S1 of population. The South Car
ohnians, it may be presumed. were too
busy watching, discussing and applauding
Idllman to give much attention to inven-
ton.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

The supposition is that as soon as # is
definitely known that Nansen has discov-
cred the north pole. Mr. Thomas A. Edi-
son will take steps to ascertain how it can
be turned to practical account, either for
coast and harbor defense or for the killing
of consumption microbes
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

II seems that there is no way 10 prevent
such mine horrors as that at New Castle.
Col. reported IN our dispatches yesterday.
The mining states take what would seem
to be all possible precautions. providing
for the periodical inspection Of the mines
by Official inspectors. and otherwise guard
Castle had been recently inspected and
pronounced in good order. Nevertheless.
an explosion Of gas occurred and wrecked
the mine and killed a large number Of
worknen. Accidents Of the kind have re-
peatedly occurred before. and will proba-
bly, continue to occur just as long as men
are sent into the bowels Of the earth to dig
away its wealth of coal.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

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Munyon's Blood Cure eradicates all i'm
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a separate cure for each disease. At
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Personal letters to Prof. Munvon 50s
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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20
CURRENT COMMENT.
A Man of the Hour.
From the Baltimore Sun Dem).

Mr.. Chamberlain is just at present in the
middle of the swim in British politics, and
to all appearances much nearer to the
well-known goal of his ambition than he
has ever been before. To intelligent OBJ
servers of British politics he is by far the
most Interesting personalitX of the daY
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

According to the Railway Age, five Of
the six New England states did not build a.
mile of new steam railway track last
year, but each of them, and every other
state in the union. did considerable work
in the building Of trolley roads.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

A London newspaper says that Senator
Tillman belongs to the mean whites"
class of South Carolina The foreigners
evidently estimate Tillman's social stand
ing by the speech he made in the Senate
some days ago.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1896-02-20

From the chicago Times-Heraid Qnd

The people are with Secretary Morton.
Let him make a test case of it. 1t will be
interesting to know if congress has the
power to compel cabinet officer to spend
quarter of a million dollars for the main
tenance of a paternalistic farce that has
been condemned by the people.