Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1896-01-06
JUST FOR FUN.

other day by saying, 81 misunder-
spoke"
She (dreamily) Only fancy :
month from to day, we shall be mar
ried. He (absentIy)- Well, let's be
happy while we can.
Jack Ask-Did you have an exciting
time with the trolley party? Ethel
Knox-Very; we ran across ever SO
many people I knew.
Ninety fve-Say, Blanks, have you
readsRomeo and Juliet?' Ninety six
I've read Romeo and intend tax
ing up Juliet soon.
Gotham Girl = How do you New
Englanders get over the fact that
your ancestors believed in Witches?
Boston Girl-We call it hypnotism.
Small Boy-I want two pounds Of
sausages, and cook says will you be SO
kind as to wrap them up in a news
paper containing good love story.
Merritt Under the circumstances,
why don't you go West and get di-
vorce? Cobwigger-Because if [ had
divorce I might be fool enough to
marry again.
Bessie Norris oh, dear! I wish I
could ride bicycle. Grace Quint-
Well, there's no law to prevent your
doing so. Bessie - Only the law of
gravitation.
See here, Maginnis, this man is do
ing twice the work that you are"
'sThat's what Olive bin telling him
for the lasht hour, sor, but the bloody
Oitalian won't stop"
Martha had gone off to learn ge-
ography lesson, and mamma, miss
ing her, inquired, "Where's Martha?"
"Oh," replied Jamie, 'she's in her
room studying Topography"
"Woman," said the enthusiastic
boarder, els making great strides now
a -days.u tShe has been making them
all the time" said the cheerful idiot,
only she didn't wear boomers"
A little girl, somewhat noted for her
quaint and original sayings, said the
other day at the breakfast table that
"she had swallowed a piece of bread
head first down her cough pipe"
Kathe Gin the museum, viewing the
Venus de Milo): "Sepp, see here:
they have knocked both arms off this
woman" Sepp-"Come, let US go out,
or they'll suspect that we have done
it.''
Mr.. Spinkle-Well, Willie, has your
sister made up her mind to go to the
concert with me? Willie-Yep. She's
made up her mind, and she's making
up her face now. She'll be down in
minute.
A wee resident has been taught to
save a piece of everything nice for
'spapa." When castor oil was being
administered, bright thought struck
the youngster. "I dess I'll save the
rest for papa"
Little Helen, who had never been in
the country before, was taken to see
nine little pigs, with their mother, in
Farmer WIS pig-pen. Chow many
are going to be drowned, mamma"
she inquired.
Wife-To- morrow is your birthday,
my dear, am going to the jewelers. to
get you nice little present. Hus-
oand- Let it be something cheap,
darling. I haven't paid for my last
years birthday gift yet.
May-Just think, Bob is playing on
the Yale football team! Clara-That
is jolly. What is he, half-back or
quarter back? May-Neither. He's
a drawback. Charley Pruenne says
he's the greatest drawback the team
ever had.
''Papa," said Jimmieboy, ''you are
the incest man in the world" "And
you are the incest boy in the world"
said his father. eyes; l guess that's
so," said Jimmieboy. "Isn.t it queer
how we both managed to get into the
same family?"
A little threeyear- had often
with much interest his grand
pa stirring his coffee before drinking;
and, one morning, thinking that
grandpa had forgotten to do this, he
said, "Why don't you wind up your
coffee, grandpa?"
It is said that during one of Mr..
Moody's meetings worker approach
I'd young man with the question,
Are you a Christian" The young
man looked up, smiling good natured-
y, as he replied, "Oh, no, sir; am
)ne of the choir"