New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1896-05-22
STNBEIMS From CUCUMBERS.

The crop Of cucumbers may not be large but
the political horizon is luminous with the sun
beams which Mr.. Plat and his rather grotesque
newspaper following are extracting from them.
The announcement that Senator Quay was about
10 visit Mckinley at his home in Canton would
not seem To the average intelligence to be par
ticularly inspiring to the AntiMcKiney coterie.
since il would rather indicate that Senator Quay,
upon whose undyinG hostility TO Mckinley great
stress was laid had begun To weaken. 1t was
the kind OF cucumber that one would suppose
contained for the Anti Mckinleyiies rather more
mach-achc than sunshine. But the Platt
newspapers. tackling it ut once with chemical
processes and the most elaborate analysis. drew
out Of it s,inbcams enough to pale torchsht
procession into comparative darkness and make
daylight ashamed Of itself Senator Quay. they
said. had been invited to Canton by Mr. Mckin-
ley, who was in Il great state of alarm over the
prospect a nd in suchdstress Of mind that he was
ready to offer Quay the vice-Prcsdency or any
thing else to ward off impending disaster. Char
ley" Hackett was quite checred up about it; and
Clarkson. who was just convalcsccnt. immcd-
ately packed his carpct-bag and started for
Washington 10 have Il talk with Quay over the
improved outlook And Platt. Why, Plat was
IN IlHn SDGllS. lie IL lIldt kiIlu vi iihu
he been a Roman Consul at the time of Cannae
he would have ordered Il lcctSternum on ac-
count of the gain to the commissarat by the
elimination of many Roman soldiers
Another cucumber-from which all hands of
them are not only pulling ont sunbeams. but
actually spanning the h,avens with rIinbows
gorgeous enough To cxtort mutations from
Amasa Thorntons dog-s the occasional cmana-
ton from Associations Of Bankers, Chambers of
Commerce, Boards Of Trade. and Exchanges Of
one sort and another, setting forth the necessity
for an explicit declaration In favor OF the gold
standard in party platforms. Immediately one
of these expressions of opinion is made public
the Platt following rise up and cry: This Is
Il hard blow for Mckinley" Bless their dear
innocent. unSuspecting souls. There's nothing
the Mckinley boomers want more or like better
than just such resolutions from as many aggre
cations of business men. financlcrs and capital
lists as will pass them and spread them broad
cast throughout the country. The more Of them
the better. They not only add volume to the
sound money sentiment which is certain TO find
expression in the Republican platform. and an
exponent in the candidate. but they commit
all the organizations OF business men which
adopt them 10 the support OF Republican Sound
Money and Protection candidates. as against
Frce-Sver and Frec-Trade Democrats that
there can be no doubt as TO the result Of the
election. That is an uncommonly green and
cocky cucumber TO extract sunbeams from. But
they do il. and seem to be having fun with II.
Then there's Mr. Platt. Surrounded by clcum-
beers Of all sizes. cOlorS and previous conditions
of scrviiudc. And pulling sunbeams out Of them
hand over hand with the cheerful manner and
easy grace with which Warnings whiie-wlnged
scraphs pull up fertility and abundance from an
open sewer There's The NewYori Sun talk
Ing about the encouragement for the Anti-Mc-
Kinley boomers from the Perry Carson bar
bccuc, and THE Ncw-l0rk Times talking about
the fluid and iabby intellect of Mckinley:
THE New-York Herald" and The NcwYOrk
World" with cntcrprising correspondents on
McKinley's piazza asking questions in the name
Of the American People, and strongly asSevcrat-
ing that II they cannot be answered the Ameri-
can People will know III reason why: and the
dear, delightful "Ncwlorl. Evening Post" say.
ing: IF we must have either Platt or Mcklp
ley. better have rlatt II We have T. choose
'betwcen eczema and double pneumonia give
'us eczema" And out of this grotcSquc array
Plat extracts snnbcams. Why. there is not one
Of them that would support Mckinley under any
circumstances or upon any conditions And -
for The Evening Post and it, preference for
eczema, everybody knows that It's eczema is the
only thing about 1t that arrests attention. lis
eruption Is chronic. 1t prefers II to double pneu-
monia or anything else simply for the luxury ~
scratching Such cucumbcrS, And such sun
beams. Mr. Plat Is getting for himself a ease
Of acute Stomach-achc.
SLLENCE INlT Is MlALI