Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1896-01-19

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TAXING MEALS WITH THE EARL.
Much ado has been made over the yes
thule train on this line. which was 10
practically annihilate time and place
the roses and pomegranates of Florida
and Louisiana right in the front yard
of New York, but the train is really q
week or two slower than it was ere il
had been vestibuled
The political situation here at the
present time is extremely intesestine
and some criticise Congress while 9TH
ers criciciss the President. Criticising
Congress is one of the most unsatis-
factory methods of passing the time
that l can imagine A criticism that
has TO be divided up among 500 or 400
men who are mo- of sensitive nature
is like trying 20 purify Tammany Hail
by burning rag.
Some think Jha, the President should
not go hunting ducks when he has
chance TO insult the British. regarding
the latter as far greater sport to the
thinking mind than the former. but Of
course l have my own ideas about that.
Others make sill more invidiOus re-
marks. one man the other day raked
up lot OF old and forgotten talk about
the Presidents former term. etc.
why s2yS h. when the President
got married, he lit out without q word.
only that he ordered his secretary not
10 forward any engrOsscd bills to him
during his hon aymOon. Think of
thar
Why hang it. I'm no partisan. of
course. but / can DE just and fair, l
hope. I'd only ask The President to do
as anybody else would do. Way, when
1 Yves married. L left the same word,
and also in the order l included all
other bills of every kind whatsoever,
and yet there was not a word said about
il in tle papers
If I We're President-whichI am not,
and for which I thank kindly disposed
and farseeing peOple-but if / had been
President seven or eight years and en-
loved 10 and looked forward 70 q peace
ful rest. beyond the reach of the waves
of political jealousy and intrigue, and
had q conscience with the bark still on
f. and had a house and lot all paid for
/ would so lay out my programme that
I might close my term OF Office with a
whole skin. bright. cheerful liver and
q few gastric facilities FOR future use
rather than go from IN White House 10
the overcrowded asylum or the patrl-
of-s grave. Observation Will convince
the most skeptical that a patriot S
grave is Just rs hard TO get out or as
any Other grave.
II is for that reason perhaps that l
am essentially a man of peace. l made
the same remark in Scotland TO the
Misses Monteith and their father, the
Earl of MoOntOoth. at whose house /
took my meals while in that beauiIuI
country.
lam practical man, having been the
frs one IN the South 10 60 into the
dairy business after growing tomtlts
from birdseed and so l cannot put ue-
plors ANYTHING that looks like war. IL
is said that our navy has actually OUT
lived It's usefulness while beng con-
s.ru.-ed and that it viii take 200 years
with good Tins and rapid work, 10
buiId DrCDer dsi5lsss on our coast ana
frontier. and so I say that. knowing the
character Of the people who have gone
There To- live. should most heartily de
More our annexation % Canada.
The strong ST. advocate Of vigorous
foreign policy that have ever met was
a man who was sentenced 10 make
fr.v rambling remarks on the g3l.ows
for -he following Friday. lie lifted
away to- paridise. as he admitted that
b, ,,-as oh0u+ 10 90. calling for a Vlg0r-
Gus war policy.
His case was a very peculiar one II l
may be permitted 70 diyerge here 10
speak Of IT, He was Of joyous nature
ana somewhat given 20 badinage OF a
pure and delicate character suited to
smoking cars and Pussy C8ffays. He
s4i1 in spirit Of pure popularity one
evening while full ofanimal spirits and
such things. 20 naughty major form
Louisiana. Good night. major, good
rfeht. We Will nor say farewell. but
reservoir. IS the French have IT, He
meant nothing but an r5voir. but the
major. who was well bred and therefore
ve3rrng for q c0Di0US Insult that he
might avengs. turned and reached for
his p. stol. aiming 90 XIII the perSifiager,
for he though that he had been called
a reservoir. meaning q tank. but in
reaching for his pistol the major er-
-one-rs,v ran his hand into q forgotten
( chssn I'm his ,r1wziz. and ere he could
GET QUIZ O. that and into his p3c6e,,
vb-~a his great ou1c-uator was. the hui
morris. feeling that he is thrice armed
who hath his Qulrr- JUS had seized q
/ large Limoges Tom and Jerry bowl. and
v,-%e- Ns r1D- -nr7uch With Il the MAJORS