The San Francisco call., 1896-04-07
Or. DEPEW AND BOHEMIA
Disappointment Felt at the Ora.
tors Inability to Attend
a Jinks.
Horace G. Platt's Witty Sayings at
the Union League Banquet Won
the New Yorker.

Chauncey NJ. Depew says he has been
everywhere in California. In Bohemia,
however, he has never been. 1t may be a
disappointment to him that he has been
unable to accept the invitation to accom-
pany the shining lights of the arts and
crafts, the wits of the clubs and the leaders
OF the professionals into that fairyland
where they are wont to recreate them
selves and drive dull care away Certainly
it is great disappointment to the club
men.
When it was noised about that the star
after-dinner talker of the two hemispheres
contemplated a visit to California, and
when the fact became fully established
that "Our Chauncey," as he is affection
ately called by New Workers, would tarry
few days in the metropolis of the coast,
Bohemia besought him to come and make
me erry at jinks.
Mr.. Depew came, he saw, was conquered
by our splendor and our greatness and
now she has went" and Bohemia knew
him not. That is the reason why Bo-
hemia is sad. Depew is regarded as the
most distinguished private. citizen and
clubman in America. Therefore Bohemia,
having entertained ali the heads of the
different schools of talent, wanted this
artist OF the rostrum TO leave his auto
graph in the big book and select niche
among the immortals for his picture on
the wall. But the Union League sounded
the first call for dinner in the banquet
hall and the orator responded.
AT the banquet at the Palace on Satur-
day evening Mr.. Depew received taste of
what he might have had in large doses
had he gone to Bohemia. Horace G.
Platt bombarded the distinguished visitor
with Bohemian wit. He told funny stor-
r-lr
cey's expense and sometimes at his own,
and kept his hearers in roars of laughter.
IF Mr.. Depew has his cathode ray with
him, he began, "he can trun it on me
and he will find that l have read all his
speeches."
Depew, in low tone-Great Scott!
After the laughter had died away Mr..
lowed the Depew encyclopedia and closed
the sally by advising Chauncey to go home
and cut down his chestnut tree.
why is Chauncey like a New York or
Chicago sky-scraper?' he observed, and
then answered the question by saying he
was built one story at time. Platt hav-
ing scored one on Depew there was great
laughter.
The King of Bohemia said that as he was
the only Democrat at tie gathering he
was sorry to see differences cropping up
among Republicans as to who would be
tne 2eAt Vlctlm OF Oemocratlc lnvlncl-
bility.
I'VE don't care whom you nominate" !" he
said. whether it is New York's son,
Names son. Ohio's son, or Al-li-son'-
laughter and applause 1--WE will give him
good funeral" Renewed laughter.
In a more serious vein the Bohemian
orator said:
"Mr. Depew has spoken of what person
could buy in California-bg trees, big
! men, big oranges and big beets, but there
is one thing that no one can buy-a Cali
fornia welcome to the stranger within ner
gate, and that welcome California gives to
that prince of good fellows. that distin-
guished private citizen whose name
Bohemia would have been glad to add to
its roll of honor-Chauncey NJ. Depew.''
At the CONCLUSION of the address, which
was repiete with bright sayings, the prince
of New York goodfeilowship lett his seat
at the banquet-board and went over and
warmly grasped the extended hand of the
prince of San Francisco goodfellowship.
Then all the guests made astronomical
observations through the bottoms of their
wine glasses and the band played Oh.