Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1896-08-10
FACTS AND FANCIES.


Guzzleton- "Shay, landlord, watts the
bes' way to see a sea-ser-serpent?"
Landlord Plucker (encouragingly)-
You're all right. Just keep right at
Town Topics.
shows a row of white feathers, and this
action signifies his intention of flying,
and thus the thought of cowardice has
become associated with the expression,
showing the white feather.
An English paper has discovered that
Cleopatra was cyclist, for did not An
tony advise her: "Of Caesar seek your
honor, with your safety?"
THR SUMNER RHYMESTER.
tbs now the poet takes his ease
And looks on life as fun;
With 'sleaS'
And "bees''
And trees
And 'breeZe"
His jobs an easy one.
Washington Star.
She takes very little interest in public
questions, and her father and brothers
had disturbed her reading. Dear me"
she exclaimed, do stop talking about
Mckinley and Bryan. Anybody would
think, from the way you keep discussing
them, that they were baseball playersw
Washington Star.
James Payn tells story Of certain
officer of transatlantic steamship who,
in the absence of any clerical passenger,
was asked, during storm, to undertake
the duties of chaplain. He was anxious
to oblige, bat felt that he was altogether
unequal to ecclesiastical operations-to
preaching or even reading. II can, how
ever" he said, "take up a collection"
AN EXPLANATION
Would you know why the pugilist battles
Why his fame is so SILENT though boist'rous
of yOre;
Why no more he strikes terror to peaceable
men?
He has sore finger and can't hold pen.
Washington Star.
'Isn't Mrs. Jarvis an agreeable neigh
bor?' ''No; she's horrid. / gave
luncheon and didn't invite her, and the
mean creature loaned me lot of spoons
over after them when we were only in
the second course" Chicago Record.
Come into the garden, Maud" but
Maud was much too wise.
Said she: ''Oh, no; the corn has ears,
and the potatoes eyes, - indianapolis
Journal.
did Mabel promise to marry her pho
tographer lov.r?
No. She developed negative. De
troit Free Press.
MAKING TT EASY
Dr. Sixthly doesn't mind it,
If we doZe the service through
For he gets chance to work us
With a sermon not quite new.
Chicago Record.
That flowers are generally beneficial in
a sickroom, instead of harmful, as for
merly supposed, is fully established, ac-
cording to many physicians.
Briggs-''Why did you get such a cheap
trunk to go to the seaside with?'
Griggs-''1 don't expect to bring it
back with me.''-Puck.
AND HE FOLLOWED 1T.
"One kiss, he said, ''before 1 go?"
The girl knew what she was about,
And said to him, "the rule, you know,
In kissing is, three times and OUT
Someone spoke of certain academi-
clan one day as a great bore. Eyes; but
remember that he doesn't pose,' said
the late Jules Simon; "and that's rare,
you know, when one has talent"
Customer-"Half crown for making
up this prescription? Why, at the stores
they only charge me eighteenpence.'
Chemist ''That's all it's worth at the
stores, madam. They put about six
pennyworth Of drugs into the bottle and
fill it up with water. | put in the same
drugs and fill it up with the finest aqua
pura. '-Tid-Bits.
A story used to be told in London
forty years ago, to the effect that Lady
Jersey, going one Sunday to the chapel
in Curzon street, found all the seats
filed. "Well, my DEAR" she remarked
to her daughter, as they turned away,
cat least we have done the civil thing.