The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1896-05-22
Tied the wrnnr Knnt.

In the beginnin the Reverent Josh
Hanson got SO bad ratified over at Red
Level church one night, and made sich
tremendous big break till bless
gracious, he tied the wrong knot and
mated off the wrong pair.
The news had went out that Rams
ATilligan and Miss Temple Murdock had
come to the conclusion that life would
be whole lot more brighter and hap
pier with them if they would sail in and
mix clothes for better or for worse, till
death do them part. The show was set
for Friday night at candle light, and
most everybody in the settlement for
miles around turned out and went over
there to Red Level church to see the
sights and hear the fatal words spoke.
In the main time Bud Newton had
agreed to play as best man for the con
Germ, and Miss Mandy Singleton she had
made engagements to stand up with
him whilst the preacher tied the knot
for Rams and Miss Temple.
Now then, as to cid Parson Hanson
well, the good Lord never pumped the
breath of mortal life into a better man
than him. But old man Josh is knoclxin
along into the vale of years and tears
considerable, and in regards to cyesight
he is ruther dim and doubtful. And
what is worse and more of it, he is jest
naturally as nervous and sllittish as a
right young girl. So consequentially he
went to work years ago and fixed up his
little weddin speech and got it by heart,
and he don't have to do any readin in
orderment to tie the knot, and tie it so
it will hold through thick and thin,
henceforwarls and forever.
The church was crowded to standin
room only that night. Bless gracious,
the people were jammed and pack in
there so reglar and so thick till you
couldn't of stirred en- with a red-hot
poker. They come by twos and in
droves, in wagons, on horseback and
afoot-which, you understand, the
weather was pleasant and the moon was
full and bright, and it seems like every
body thought it was a bully time of
year for weddins.
At any rates-in the general hum and
push and stir and excitcment-old Par
son Hanson lost his nerve and went
ratified and got things all mixed and
muddled up to n terrible extent. And
finally at last when the time come to
proceed with the proceedins blamed if
he didn't pitch in, 'sight onseen," as it
were, and marry the wrong couple. Old
man Bunk Weatherford was there and
he riz up in the crowd and tried to stop
the parson and switch him around on
the right track. But the parson he was
goin it blind, in sich wild swish and
swiyet to git the dreadoff and the agony
over, till it seems like nothin could stop
him till it was everlastingly too late.
Then Bud Newton and Miss Mandy
Singleton stood forth as man and wife,
with all that tremendous big crowd for
witnesses, whilst Rams AfilIigan and
Miss Temple Murdoch looked like they
had been sent for and couldn't come
across. Old Misses Singleton - the
mother of Miss Mandy Singleton, as
she had been, but Misses Bud Newton as
she now was-screamed and tainted on
the spot. Rams and Miss Temple turned
white and red by fits and starts. Miss
Mandy she cried a little around the
edges, and when the old parson found
out what a scandlous big mess he had
de-unbeknownnce to himself, as it
were-he broke out in cold sweat and
wound up with buck ager.