davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15

A most amusing incident occurred
recently at q London club. One night
after Mr.. Bertram, the conjurer, had
exhibited some tricks with cards, a
rather noisy member remarked: "What
nonsense! It's all sleight of hand, and
I'll play you for all you're worth at
ecarte, despite your nimble lingering"
Quick as lightning the necromancer
said: "Sir, could not afford to accept
your challenge. See. YOU have the four
kings concealed up your left sleeve!"
and he drew the cards from the chal-
ienger's coat-'Tit-Bits.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15
Not Ga;lty.
used Of

Superior oflicer-You are accused of
sleeping on your watch. +
Sentinel-1mpossible, sig.
impossible? What do you mean?"
"My watch has been at the pawn
brokers' for six months. "-Nashington
Times.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15
Hard on Old Maids.

The North Frisians are very unmerci-
full to people who don't marry. One Of
their legends says that after death old
maids are doomed to cut stars out of the
sun when it has sunk below the horizon,
and the ghosts of the old bachelors must,
blow them up in the east, running, like
lampGghters, all night up and down a
ladder
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15
Referred to That.

Briggs-The new preacher hesitates
l1cadfully.
Wagner-Yes; and he doesn't know
what to do with his hands.
Briggs-That's what l referred to-
his awkward pause.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15
KATE GARDENERS CHAT.
To Dress Children Becomingly Is
Really an Art.
Prevailing Styles for Girls and Boys Are
Charming, Whom Carried Out Properly
Tho Picturesque and Artistic
Go Hand In Hand.
Especial chicago Letter.l

Especial Chicago letter.
Surely can find no more charming
theme to chat upon thun childrcns
clothing, for next to the dear children
themselves their apparel is perhaps the
most interesting thing to write and talk
about.
So many daily changes are required
by the small men and women Of thu
day and generation that their ward
robe must of necessity be large and
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15
Dangers of Kissing.

She-I think the forehead the safest
place for q young gentleman to kiss a
young lady.
Helm not sure of it. The last time
attempted to kiss young lady's fore
head I got a bang in the mouth.-Bay
CITY Chat
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15
A Drawback.

"Billy, don't think I'll stay at this
summer hotel much longer"
Whats up? Rates too high?"
mo, don't mind the high rates, but
the clerk is always nagging me for
money."-Chicaeo Record.
What stops Neuralgia? DIR. Miles Pain Pills
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15
A New Man lullaby.

Hush-a-bye. baby. lie still with thy
daddy.
Thy nanny has gone to the club;
She'll play herself broke and call 1t a
joke,
While daddy must stay home and scrub.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15

varied, and every detail carefully
planned and considered by the watchful
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1896-09-15

Or. Eiles' Pain Pills cue Neuralgia.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
CRAWLED OUT.

town, and had only been able to crawl
under the porch. If it bad not been for
the chicken they would have found
means of escaping later.
"But the funny part of the incident
was the behavior of the owner of the
house, who proceeded to abuse the cap
tives like pickpockets, asking how they
dared hide under the house of a respect
able union man. 1t was SO palpable q
farce that we could hardly restrain our
laughter. Finally the proprietor said to
our general: Are you going to hang
these men?' The general replied: We'll,
no; I guess we hardly shall do that"
The alleged union man was evidently
much relieved Y With an impulse Of
gratitude, he xclaimed:
"Tf that's the case, general, won't
you have little buttermilll IN. Y.
World.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11

double curve and the steaming, wide
open mouth made it's desperate effort
to reach its enemy. This attack, it
could be seen, was despairing, but it was
nevertheless, impetuous, gallant, fero-
cious, of the same quality as the charge
for the lone chief when the walls of
white faces close upon him in the noun
tains. The stick swung unerringly
again and the snake, mutilated, torn,
whirled into the last coil.
And now the man went sheer raving
mad from the emotions of his fore
fathers and from his own. He came to
close quarters. He gripped the stick
with his two hands and made it speed
like fail. The snake tumbling in the
anguish of final despair, fought, bit,
flung itself upon this stick which was
taking its life.
AT the end, She man clutched his
stick, and stood watching in silence.
The dog came slowly and with infinite
caution, stretched his nose forward,
suiffling. The hair upon it's neck and
| back moved and ruffied as if sharp
wind was blowing. The last muscular
quivers of the snake were causing the
rattles to still sound their treble cry, the
shrill, ringing war-chant and hymn of
the grave of the thing that faces foes
at once countless, implacabe and SUI
perior.
well, Rover" said the man, turning
to the dog, with grin of victory, well
carry Mr.. Snake home to show the
girls"
His hands still trembled from the
strain of the encounter, but he pricd
with his stick under the body of the
snake and hoisted the limp thing upon
it. He resumed his march along the
path and the dog walked TRANQUILITY
neditative at his masters heels,
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
man through dim centuries This vns

man through dim centuries. This was
another detail of war that had begun
evidently when first there were men and
snakes. individuals who do not partic-
ipate in this strife incur the investiga-
tions of scientists. Once there was a
man and snake who were friends, and
at the end, the man lay dead with the
marks of the snakes caress Just over his
East Indian heart In the formation of
devices hideous and horrible, nature
reached her supreme point in the maxi
ing of the snake, so priests who really
paint hell well, fill it with snakes in
stead of fire. These curving forms,
these scintillant colorings create at
once, upon sight, more relentless ami
mosities than do shake barbaric tribes.
To be born snake is to be thrust into a
place a-swarm with formidable foes.
To gain an appreciation of it, view hell
ms pictured by priests who are really
skillful.
AS for this snake in the pathway, there
was double curve some inches back of
its head which merely by the potency
of its lines made the man feel with ten
fold eloquence the touch of the death
fingers at the uape of his neck. The rep
tiles head was waving slowly from
side to side and its hot eyes flashed like
little murder lights. Always in the air
was the dry, shrill whistling of the rat
ties.
Beware! Beware! Beware!"
The man made a preliminary feint
with his stick. Instantly the snakes
heavy head and neck was bended back
on the double curve and instantly the
snakes body shot forward in low,
straight, hard spring. The man jumped
backward with convulsive chatter and
swung his stick. The blind, sweeping
blow fell upon the snakes head and
hurled him so that steel-colored plates
were for moment uppermost. But he
rallied swiftly, agilely, and again the
head and neck bended back to the
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
IT'S MIGHTY coMFoRrIN..

oh, It's mighty comfortin' when your hail
Is gettin' thin,
And the wrinkles In your face have come
to stay,
Just to feel her little hand smoothin' Out
each silver strand,
While you meet her lovin' look and hear
her say:
''John my dear, II seems as though every
day you live you grow
Handsomer than in the olden days."
And you smile back at your wife, while
you thnR in all your life
You never heard sweeter word of
praise
Then, somehow, the teardrops rise to your
dim old fadin' eyes,
While you kiss the tender hand still white
an small
And you try 10 tell her how you loved her
then-you love her now,
But, bless me, IL the words will come at
all!
Tor Just then II comes to you to think of
trials she's gone thro'
And borne without a murrlur for your
sake.
You can only bow your head at the lovin'
things she's said,
And your poor old heart can only ache
and ache.
But she knows what ails you then, and she
kisses you again,
While you hear her gently whisper, sweet
and low.
Life has bro't more hopes than fears: we
have known more smiles than tears,
You're the dearest dear Of dears, John
Anderson, my Joe''
So it's comfortin', 1 say, when your hair is
gittin' gray,
And you're slippin' down life's hill a
mighty FAST
J,tet N feel her little hand StrOkln' DaCK
each silver strand,
While she whispers that she loves you
to the last.
MARY w. Davis. in Pittsburgh Dispatch.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
WAR "REMINISCENCES.
A LINCOLN CAVALRY EXPLOIT.
Some Exciting Incidents of an I'M
promptu Charge.

Some Exciting Incidents of an Inn
promptu Charge.
"Give us Lincoln cavalry story, cap
tain"
Capt. w. II. Beach, who served in the
Lincoln IN. W cavalry, now teacher
of history in a Milwaukee high school,
is always entertaining, and particularly
80 when he touches on the war and It's
incidents. / drew him out, short time
since, with a result that will delight
the Times-Herald readers of all classes.
Here is his story:
after the battle of Antietam the
First New York, or Lincoln, cavalry
was sent west among the mountains.
We held line of posts about ten miles
south of the Potomac to guard the Bal.
timore ~ Ohio. In December Companies
i and NJ were ordered eastward. A few
inches of snow had fallen; it was cold.
After march of 35 miles we halted
at Smiths Crossroads, where there were
some farmhouses, barns and country
store. In the barnyards were stacks of
hay inclosed by rail fences. The cattle
had eaten holes in the stacks. Some OF
the men crawled into the holes to sleep.
Others, building fires by the roadside
and spreading straw on the frozen
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
=" THE SNAKE"
BY STEPHEN CRANE.
IcoPYRIGHT, 1861

[CoPYRIGHT, 1896
Where the path wended across the
ridge the bushes of huckleberry and
sweet fern swarmed at it in two curling
waves, until it was mere winding line
traced through the tangle. There was
nointerference by clouds and as the rays
of the sun fell full upon the ridge they
called into voice innumerable insects
which chanted the heat of the summer
day in steady, throbbing, unending
chorus.
A man and dog came from the laurel
thickets of the valley where the white
brook brawled with the rocks. They fol-
lowed the deep line of the path across
the ridge. The dog-a, large lemon and
white setter-walked TRANQUILITY medita-
tive, at his masters heels.
Suddenly from some unknown and
yet near place in advance there came a
dry, shrill whistling rattle that smote
motion instantly from the limbs of the
man and the dog. Like the fingers of a
sudden death, this sound seemed to
touch the man at the nape of the neck,
at the top of the spine, and change him,
as swift as thought, to a statue of lis
tening horror, surprise, rage. The dog,
too--the same icy hand was laid upon
him and he stood crouched and CULVER
ing, his jaw dropping, the froth of ter
ror upon his lips, the light of hatred in
his eyes.
Slowly the man moved his hands tow
ard the bushes, but his glance did not
turn from the place made sinister by the
warning rattle. His fingers unguided,
sought for stick of weight and
strength. Presently they closed about
one that seemed adequate and holding
this weapon poised before him, the man
moved slowly forward, glaring. The
dog, with his nervous nostrils fairly f1ut-
tering, moved warily, one foot at time,
after his master.
But when the man came upon the
snake, his body underwent a shock as
from a revelation, as if after all he had
been ambushed. With blanched face
he spnng backward and his breath
came in strained gasps, his chest heav-
ing as if he were in the performance of
an extraordinary muscular trial. His
arm with the stick made n spasmodic
defensive gesture.
The snake had apparently been cross
ing the path in some mystic travel when
to his sense there came the knowledge
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11

of The coming of his foes. The dull vi
bration perhaps informed him, and he
flung his body to face the danger. He
had no knowledge of paths; he had not
wit TO tell him to sink noiselessly into
the bushes. He knew that his implac-
able enemies were approaching; no
doubt they were seeking him, hunting
him. And so he cried his cry, an incred-
ibly swift jangle of tiny bells, as bur-
doned with pathos as the hammering
upon quaint cymbals by the Chinese at
war-for, indeed, it was usually his
death music.
Beware; Beware! Bewarei"
The man and the snake confronted
each other. In the mans eyes wore
hatred and fear. These enemies
maneuvered, each preparing to kill.
1t was to be battle without mercy.
Neither knew mercy for such a situa-
ton. In the man was all the wild
strength of the terror of his ancestors,
of his race. of his kind. A deadly re-
pulsion had been handed from man to
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
mount. He hesitated, trying to look

mount. He hesitated, trying to look
over his shoulder to see il help was near.
Seeing none, he obeyed second sharp
command to dismount. The confeder-
ntes, leading the horse, started toward
the road. Casey, excited, over the loss
of his horse, was coming back on foot
across the field. Seeing a sergeant, who
was trying to get the scattered men to-
gether, he called out as loud as his thin
voice would allow: Sergeant, those
DANCED rebels have got me horse The
sergeant, Notwithstanding the orders
TO fall back, called to two men near him
with: Let's get Casey's horse for him.
and started in pursuit. The confeder-
ates, seeing themselves crowded, let go
Casey's horse. The sergeant was lead
ing him back when Lieut.. Lewis called:
Come backn A squad of confederates
in blue overcoats had halted beyond a
wide, shallow creek. The sergeant said:
Those men are rebels Lewis replied:
Il want to bring those men back 4
tell you they are rebels But he rode
through the stream and up the hill, call
ing out to the men to come back One
of them ordered him to surrender. He
quickly understood who they were then.
Wheeling his horse he came down the
hin and across the creek faster than he
had gone. A few shots were fired after
him, but he escaped unharmed. AS he
reioined the sergeant, who had watched
the whole affair, the latter said: I told
you those men were rebels so 1 found
replied the lieutenant, abstractedly."-
j. a. Watrous, in Chicago Times Herald.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
GLASS VESSELS.
Modelled from Paste While Cold by the
Ancient Romans.

Scarcely month passes without our
being informed of some new application
of glass in art or commerce, but there is
most people, namely, soft glass or glass
paste. Yet it is hundreds of years old.
The old Roman glassmakers carried
to their grave their secret method OF
preparing glass paste which they
nodded cold, just as we model clay.
This malleable glass, upon which you
could get the impression of your finger
exactly as with dough, gave off most
pleasant perfume.
Another variety made by the Romans
had qualities similar to rubber; if it
were thrown down forcibly it re-
bounded; if struck with hammer, it
yielded and Immediately resumed its
original shape. 1t is related that EN-
peror Tiberius ordered workman's
head to be cut off so that he should not
reveal the secret, the reason for this
act being that if the method of prepara-
tion became known people would think
no more of gold than of dirt.
The secret of the nidnufacture of
glass paste died with the Roman ar
tisans and has never been discovered.
Now we hear that an eminent sculptor
who has a well-equipped chemical
laboratory, has succeeded in producing
n glass paste similar to that described
in ancient writings. You can drive
nails into IT as youSn into lead.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
-Archimedes is considered to be the
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
CnmmarninI Itnm.

smith-Dusenbury has left for Bu-
rope.
Jones-What Dusenbury are you
talking about? :
"Why, Dusenbury who failed last
month"
"Whose books showed deficit OF
$50 OO0P"
"The same"
what is he going to live on while
he is in Europe?"
"On the deficit, of course. Texas
Sitter.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
A COMEDY OF THE WAR.
The Novel Capture of Some Hiding Con-
federates.

Inc NoSei capture or Some Hiding Con-
federates.
with the tragedy of the war was
mixed some comedy" said Gen. G. A.
Forsythe the other day to World cor
respondent. II remember something
that occurred at the battle of Cold Har-
Dor, in the Wilderness campaign, which
tickled me greatly at the time. Our
cavalry had moved forward and cap
tured the town of Cold Harbor after
short fight in which we lost heavily
Learning that Lee was approaching
with great force of cavalry and in
fantry, Sheridan decided that we could
hardly hold the place. He sent word to
Grant and started to retire. We had
got about half a mile away, when an
order came from Grant to hold the town
at all hazards. Already it was occupied
again by part of the enemy's infantry.
I'VE charged into the town and re-
gained possession of it, with tie inten-
tion to hold L. until Badly Smith and
the Sixth corps came up. Just as we
had cleared the main street one of our
soldiers saw 4 chicken run under The
porch of house. Chickens were pre-
cious, and he went after. it. STOPPING,
he looked under the porch, and present
ly heard him say: Come out of there,
Johnny! upon which a tall North Caro-
linian in gray erawled out and stood up,
looking rather sheepish.
'The soldier shouted again: Come out
of there, Johuny!' and another confed-
crate emerged. This performance was
repeated until six of them stood in line.
They had not had time to get away, be-
ing in the house when we entered the
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Mans Thnnrhtlesaness.

Mr.. Wedgewood docking up from his
paper)-I see that it is a custom for the
Chinaman, when he wants to take an
oath, to break plate or something.
Mrs. Wedgewood eproachfully)-
And you wanted me to hire Chinese
cook. Supposing he had been addicted
to bad language?-N. Y. World.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Natural Results.

The laundryman with few conclud-
ing gestures hung the shirt up on the
line.
"Well, how do you feel?" sighed the
buttonholes to the bosom.
81 feel completely done up" answered
the bosom, with a heave; show is 1T
with you?"
The buttonholes groaned.
"Oh, we're all torn out" they replied,
In faint voice.-N. Y. Recorder.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
C0nfuaad.

The boy looked good deal puzzled,
and was silent for such long time as
70 attract his mothers attention.
What are you thinking about?'
she inquired.
II want to ask question, only I
can't get it so that it won't sound mixed
up"
what is it?"
"Why, when an elephant shakes his
trunk is he wagging his tail?'-Wash-
ington Star.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11

Fair Shopper lin great store)-There,
this novel will do. Don't wrap it up.
Clerk-Don't wrap it up?
"No, indeed. I'll sit down here and
read it to kill time while waiting for
my change."-N. Y. Weekly.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Might Make 1t Worse.

"But why do you not PRINT card and
deny the accusation?" inquired the poll
tician's wife.
''Deny it?" howled the politician,
"and then have them prove it? No, T
will treat it with contempt."-Truth. I.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Covering 1t Up.

"You bad boy, you have made grease
spot on the new sofa with your bread
and butter" said Mrs. Chaffie to her son
Johnnie.
Never mind, ma; you can sit on it
when there is company in the parlor.
Texas Sitter.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
The wise Editor.

II don't understand the popularity Of
your woman's column" said the news,
agent to the great editor. ut beats,
anything l ever heard of in that line"
Its easily explained" replied the
editor. 81 just scatter bargain sale adj
vertisements through the column, and
the women have to read one to find the
other."-Chicago Post.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
First In Peace.

"Did you find the bicycle useful on
the battlefield?"
"Yes, indeed; we dashed up to the
enemy, and then we stacked arms and
shook hands every man on both sides
rode the same make of heel."-Chica-
go Record.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Money on Fire.

Tommy-Say, grandpa, what are you
going to do with all your money when
you die?
Grandpa Skinnerly-I guess I'll take
it with me.
Tommy-oh, grandpa; don't - it'n
burn.-N. y. World.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11

Elder Lady-At the present day a
woman is considered most interesting
when she has reached 40.
Young Ditto-Really, dear? did
not think you were quite so old as that.
Fun.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Afraid of the Other End.

Kind Neighbor accompanied by q
large mastitf, to little girl very much
afraid of him)-He's a good dog; he
never hurts anyone. Don't you see how
he's wagging his tail?
Little Girl (still shrinking back)-
Yes, see; but that isn't the end I'm
afraid of.-Tit-Bits.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
In the Grammar School.

what do they call the microbes that
breed diseases, John?"
please, sir, germs"
"Correct-and what do they call the
people who know how to handle germs
in scientific way?"
please sir, Germans" - Brooklyn
Life
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Why She Suits Him.

Bryce-Clubleigh says he has wife
that just suits him.
Gryce-Why, l thought she was a
vixen, and raised row with him every
day.
Bryce-That's just it. She drives
him to odrink.-TownkTop
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11

Slick-Head Sal-QuiciS! quick! hurry
up, young feller! 1 want n 'surance
policy on my husband fer 100000. /
Bland Insurance Agent-But, my
good woman, why all this hurry? ?,
Won't Tomorrow
SlickIIead Sal - Ter-morrer be
blowed! he's list stole hoss.-Truth. |
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Method In His Madness.

Yeast-I don't see the use of kissing.
There's that man Gushington forever
kissing his wife.
Crimsonbeak-It keeps her from talk
ing, don't you see?-Yonkers States
man.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11

"There's one thing" he said, jeering-
ly, "men never get together and talk
about one another the way women do."i
NO." she answered, II don't think
they do. There is nothing interesting
to say about them."-Washingt Post.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
EssentlalIy a modern Question.

The old man shaded his eyes and
looked after the fleeing bicyclist disap-
pearing up the road.
II WONDER" he ruminated, whether
that's my boy or my girl."-Chicagc
Post.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1896-07-11
Patient-What, doctorl

Patient-What, doctor! One dollar
q visit!
Physician-Why, that's not much.
It's less than most of my patients pay.
Patient-That may be, doctor, but re-
member it was who brought the fever
into the neighborhood.-N.Y Y. World.