The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1896-10-08
IDEAS tor QMo1meu.


People who have never known the tor
lures Of shyness and timidity themselves
are too apt to be without sympathy for
those who are in its shroes., sasd a we'll
known society woman some days ago.
DO you mean that they 60 about treat
ing II in the wrong way?" was asked.
Il should say so. AT the foundation, Of
course. they don understand it. And in
their attempts to cure they take up the
wrong idea and work upon 1t with all
their might.
Il know an otherwise sensible woman
who has a son Of 20 or Whereabouts. The
poor boy is horribly bashful. Can scarce
~ open hts lips in the presence Of any
one but the family. Even an old friend
stopping in for luncheon throws him at
one into a thorough panic. He grows
awkward Of course. Stumbles over every
chair in the d~rawing-room and breaks
everything within reach from pure timid-
ity.
And his mother. Her idea Of overcom-
ing this habit is TO laugh at the poor
child. To make jokes about his awk-
wardness. even in the presence of guests
OF course, IT has exactly the opposite
effect from that desired. He grows more
nervous day by day.
And another woman of my acquaint-
ance, whose daughters are Just now at
the hobbledhoy age, has a theory which
is almost equally bad, She does not laugh
at the poor, young things. but she makes
their shyness q constant topic of con-
versation and ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS and
-xx,n4 TI.A-A .@r1- 1Eo,r1 - - 1N-.
fort IN life.
Perhaps attending to the shy people
is one of the most difficult tasks of a
hostess-whether she be giving a little
informal dance or . two weeks house
party"
"How should one manage a guest of
this kind?' / asked.
We'll. the real way to manage guests
who suffer from this malady is to APP
proach Them with the most natural man
ner possible. Not introducing them sud
denly into conversation. but little by
little.
Attempting to find out before approach
ing them In just what subject they are
most interested. Beginning with some lit
tie suggestion which may lead to that
topic. be is amateur photography or golf
ing, or wheeling, OF what not"
That is the real secret Of curing \ fell
lows shyness.'' spoke up q young college
man who was of the group. Il remem-
Der the first social function in which /
figured" he went on, laughing. IL
couldn't open my iips Couldn't put two
words together for love nor money, or
both. I remembsr whAt an angel my hos
tess sesmed on that OCCASION I suppose
she took IN the situation &C once, for she
began 10 chat about life in the far West.
It happened that I had been West for
two years. which I suppose she remem-
bered. I soon found myself talking away
about It with perfect comfort. I realize
nav what Infinite tact thai woman
She talked quite naturally. When I
couldn't nnd words she didn't seem to
notice She didn't appear to see that /
didnst know how to manage my hands.
She seemed to think that nothing was
quite so Interesting a. Western life.
when I stepped on her skirt she
laughed It away like the saint and mar
tyr she was. II thars were more hostesses
of that kind bashfuI fellows would be
spared many q miserable hour. They
would rise UP a call them blessed
Tbs society worazn who had frst opened
the subject took up the thread Of the dis
course again Some parents consider
bashfulness so absurd and distastefui
that they claim there is no need for con-
alteration in its treatment" she said
'Thas always seems to me a cruel theory.
ina H1ufTrn1o4ut s7no@ - 1,xu
arise In morbid seif-consciousaess. But
sttn It - often h result of mere habit
and seeiusioa.s
With children the habit IS easily over
come-that is II taken In time and treated
m the right way. II handled with care
and constderation; II noticed as little as
possible Laughing and making Jokes at
the expense of the child il sure to act like
rubbing the fur of a kitten In the wrong
direction. And too much talk about the
defect will have the same result.
The torture which the shy individual |
undergoea-he he two feet high or six
Is enough to leave no doubt concerning
Its solid reality.
And. curing 1t Is a corporal work of
mercy in which women are built. by
Providence to excel.
80
Yellow Is a favorite color this season. |
Notwithstanding that IT is the hue of |
Jealousy. Of decadent literature. OF BILL |
and other unpleasantnesses. the !
American woman has decided that she
VIII wear yellow this autumn and winter. |
You may see yellow v~elvets, silks. cloths
and other fabrics in the store windows.
and inside on the counters you may And |
many, many more. The merchant scents |
the fancy of his customers afar of. ana
by the time my lady has quite made I'D
her mind that she wants some certain
thing there it is in the stores ready to
hand.
II is not only in dresses and Innings Of
manties that the Chinese hue viii be
found. II will appear in millinery in
many shapes and shades. Ribbons are
as easily made Of yellow as Of any other |
color. and feathers and laces can be
with equal facility.
There viii be many shades. ana each
shade VIII have a different name. dis
tinctive and generally odd. The men
and women who prepare new STYLES are
ingenious and can think Of ali kinds
of designations FOR variations of the
same color. So we have '.oid colonial
yellow" ..tip OF the canaty.s WING -