The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1896-08-01

unable to rise and respond within ten
seconds will be declared as voting In
the negative. A%
I'm appealing from the decision of
the chair no contestant will be per-
mitted to strike a blow below the belt
on penalty OF FORGETTING his right to
speak
The chairman Is at all times the
referee. and as such he alone has the
right to use slung- shots brass knuck-
les, lead pipe or iron bolts incased in
garden hose
In explaining his vote no delegate
will be allowed to kick his neighbor in
the stomach. unless by suspension of
rules on two-thirds vote
In debate no member will be allowed
to fee frantically through the hall pur-
sued by his opponent, to the great det-
riment OF decorum and the annoyance
Of the other delegates. who have a
right to expect that speakers will stand
still, so as to be more easily reached
with argument. brickbats. paving
stones and other missiles. A political
convention is not a gathering of wing
shots"
But ii is easy to see what will become
of the two statesmen when this fevered
dream has passed away under the
guiding influence of being both right
and president shall have an obese
party well known in Gray Gables. 1t
is only reasonable to expect that in a
few months after the result has been
declared in November the ten. twenty
and thirty houses Of pleasure will be
handing out small bills warning people
to keep the street clear and not crush
too compactly in their earnest clamor
to see the great museum and menag-
erie show just put on the road by the
firm of Mckinley & Bryan, under the
personal direction of David Henderson.
The public will read such bulletin
board screamers as this:
Mckinley and Bryan's World-Famed
Exposition of Presidential AMI
mails and Other interest
ing Things
THE LOVE BIRDS.
presented at Enormous Expense by
Admitting Kansas Voters to
Mr.. BryanD
Don't Miss PETE. the Canton Rae
coon. He Is Ringtailed and Gutter
Than Chinese Baby. Given
by Ohio Men to theGreat-
est Ohio Man.
The Two Giant Watermelons From
Georgia, Goliah and Colossus. The
Largest Watermelons Ever Born in
Captivity. Gaze on Them and Retire
Full OF Wonder.
WHAT NEXT? WHAT NEXT? Why
What Should 1t Be But Mr. Bryan's
Choice Collection of Egyptian
and Chaldean
RABBITS FEET
tOr Rabbits Foots il You PreferD
Get Onto the Thirty-seven Different
Kinds of Pet Burros and Donkeys
From Colorado. Maine. New Jersey
and Other Foreign Lands Where
Fond Admirers Dwell.
The Ecstatically Glorious and Super
huously Chaste Parrot LUCRECE,
From California. A Tribute to Major
Mckinley's Great Worth by an I'm.
known and Unsung Worshiper mike
De Young However, is Suspected)
Note-This Parrot Employs Only Such
Language as Would Not Bring the
Blush Of Shame to the Cheek of the
Purest Populist.
HANK. the Jackass With Two Tails
Mr.. Bryan's Shelf Doover This Sim
gular and Symbolic Beast Was Given
By One Who Wished to Keep the
Names Of Chicago and st. Louis
Fresh and Green in the Mind of the
Candidate
THERE ARE OTHERS. THERE
ARE OTHERS. OH, YES. THERE
ARE OTHERS.
Beasts. Birds. Wildfowl. Fishes and
Queer Freaks of All Kinds Contrib
uted by the American People to
Messers Bryan and Mckinley During
Their Recent Contest. Popular Prices
In Every Part of the House.
Yes. IL the fashion of giving all sorts
OF wild and tame animal life to the can
didates continues they will be well fixed
for an avocation which will be indorsed
by the clergy. the press and the high
school.
Shsn wanting q clean. cas-, shavs