The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-12-08
ddSf a Word or Two
OF Casual Mention

| gentleman who but recently had ar
! rived in this country from Germany en-
tered the West Side police station the
other night. He wanted to communicate
with DR.. Feinberg, of the central city.
That physician was called by telephone
and Lieutenant Williams, of the police,
| turned to the man from Germany.
| Here's the doctor, now; speak to him."
said the lieutenant.
! "You better do it," said the gentleman
from the Rhine. Il can't talk English"
He thought that the machine wouldn't
accept any other language.
%
| The man who hammers the snare drum
in Baucr's band-we can't mention his
name out of respect to his recent mar
riage-was riding on a street car toward
| Hyde Park some time ago In company
| with number of equally light-hearted
| West Siders. They We're telling stories
and as the car turned the corner of West
| Lackawanna avenue and Ninth street
| Ghe old line was in operation them Mr..
NJ, of the band, began to contribute nis
part of the entertainment. Certainly. it
was funny, and the snare drummer was
congratulating himself upon his success
| as the car rolled on toward Main avenue.
| 1t happened that the car stopped just as
| Mr.. NJ. finished his story. and before the
auditors could laugh the car conductor
yelled chestnut
| He referred to the street.
| They who had heard the story saw the
humor Of the coincidence and the laugh
| turned from the story to the suave drum
| mer. He was choked
| And as the conductor reached his hand
| to the rope ana gave the go-ahead signal
| the snare drummer, referring to the con-
ductor, exclaimed: He not only roasts
my story, but he has to ring the bell on
| it,"
And the car rolled on.
o
| One of the candidates for alderman OF
| the Fifth ward is earnest, but he isn't
much on orthography. While at work in
| the mines one day this man chalked
"Dangir" on one of the gangway doors.
Some one corrected him:
| That's not right. Benjamin. you Should
| spell it danger"
"Of course" said. Ben. as he changed
| the spelling. "of course; l was thinking of
| 'strangir.'"
Rev. Thomas De Gruchy surprised his
audience at the Jackson Street Baptist
church Sunday night, when he preached
| his first sermon to the Hyde Park public.
| His method is far from the conventional.
| He told his auditors that short sermons
would be the rule and he encouraged
| laughter and light -heartedness in the
house of the Lord. The significant part
of it is thai when leaving the church
everybody seemed to be greatly pleased
with 1.-THE new minister
| 4 novel race was witnessed in the
| Twelfth ward Saturday. Patrick Tuffy
and Dick Ryan are the 1.-TWO Johns" of
| the ward, the one weighing 81 pounds
| and the other 30j. They happened to
| meet at Morgan Sweeney's barn about
| o'clock and found there group of ad
mrng q new team of stalwart chargers
| that Morgan had just purchased The
1.-TWO Johns" got into a dispute over
| horseflesh in general. and Morgan's team
| in particular, and the upshot of it was
| that they agreed to put their relative
judgments to Il test by racing the two
| horses. Tuffy led out the animal he held
was the better and Ryan took his choice
to the middle OF the road. With the aid
| of the crowd and sundry barrels ana
boxes they managed to mount and start
| ell around the block at the word from
Morgan. But the crowd never got the
| treats which were bet on the result. Both
| horses refused to make the circuit of the
| block. The race had to be declared off
and the 1.-TWO Johns" had their estma-
ton of the worth of Sweeney's horses
greatly lessened in consequence.
o
| That there Is something in a name is
shown by an incident narrated a Cay or
| two ago by local cigar dealer. Several
months ago n certain manufacturer of
cigars who was also something of an cX-
pert on prize-ring subjects. conceived the
| idea of naming n brand OF smokers after
a famous ior infamous) Dugilist. The
| stock in the cigars was tirst-c.ass. 1t
| was made to sell for $50 per thousand ana
retail at 10 cents a piece: but the picture
and the name of the fighter on the lid
| "queered' the whole project and the en-.
| tire lot of cigars had to be a"ctioned off
to the highest bidder. who got them so
cheap he is now selling them for a nickel
| apiece.
Number one Of Dunmore's new paper,
| tha Standard, has eLae.!ed, with ID.
| Hnughey as editor. In its salutatory the
ariard says: Local journalism, which
| a few years ego was made q butt of rli-
cule by metropolitan and urban rewsra-
| pers. has at last become as great neccs-
sity as its collateral advancements made
| by electrical science. The electric light
| now conpetes with gas monopoes and
| oil trusts: the trolley car Is now a favor
. tie rva, to the railroads. in a local way:
ard there Is no reason why local Journal
| ism, when competently conducted, may
| not make its presence Indispensable to
| the business interests. as well as to the
| moral good, of all within its naturally
| ores scrihed limits. We do not hope to "e-
duce the subscription list on any Other
| journal, however remote; nor is 1t our in
| tcnton to become n destructive rival TO
any paper, however near. Lll we want
and hope for Is the patronas, of our own
people. and no decent effort I, = our part
will be SCARED In order to secure this"