davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

MAMMA, suppose some day should
be sailing on the ocean in ship, and
an awful big storm should come on,
and the ship should be turned over,
and then ] should be upset right out
in the water with just nothing to hold
on to. Wouldn't that be terrible P"
" Yes, Bobbie, it would, indeed :"
" Then don't you think l might 90
down to the river with Willie
Jumper, and learn to swim 2O
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

What do you think,
mamma! That strange gentleman
who inst got out, when we were 20.
ing through the tunnel kissed me!
" But, my child, why didn't you tell
me at once, so could call him to ac-
count for it?" Why, you see,
mamma, l thought thought-that
we were coming to another tun-
nell
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

A LITTLE fellow Of Ave years fell
and cut his upper lip so badly that
doctor had to be sum moned to sew
up the wound. In her distress the
mother could not refrain from say
ing, Oh, doctor, 1 fear it will leave
a disfiguring scar" Tommy looked
up into his mothers fearful face and
said, "Never mind, mamma, my
mustache will cover it.O
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

SUBMARINE divers now have a
telephone attached to their helmets,
and thus talk freely with workmen
on shipboard. This Is a great i'm
provement on the ope-jerking mode
of signaling.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

LADY," began Mr.. Dismal Daw-
son, "you see a man before you
whose name is mud mud, mud"
There must be some mistake in
your calulations," replied the lady;
1T takes water to make mud.o
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

BANGs's son has wonderful in
fluence over him. Bangs goes to
church regularly now" "How did
he pursuade his father? Well,
you see he's only three months old
and it was either 60 to church or
take care Of the baby"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

KNOWLEDGE inspires humility.
The man upon a mountain top sees
what others cannot see. The child
in valley thinks its rim the boun-
dary of the world.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

THE owner Of carriage, who was
upset the other day, said that he
couldn't agree with the spectators
who complimented him on his hand
some turn out,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

OCULIsT- You don't find any
trouble with your sight since 1
ordered your glasses, do you ?"
The Glazed One-I can see pretty
we'll perfectly, / may say, with a
single exception. There's one thing
l cannot see. "Tbat's odd. What
is that one thing?" 81 cannot, for
the life Of me, see how you have the
the courage to charge me twenty
five dollars for five minutes works.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

LOVE of music makes the hair
grow. The Philadelphia Record
observes that that's probably why
the bald-headed men get as near the
orchestra az possible.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

AN English working-girl on an
emigrant ship wrote thus to her
former mistress in England " Dear
Madam l hope this finds you we'll
as it leaves me. The ship is in the
middle of the Red Sea, and it is fear
fully hot. l am in q terrible state of
melting all day long. But, honored
madam, know you will be pleased
to hear that / am still member of
the Church of England"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

NOTES FROM THE RAMS HORN
The hypocrite serves the devil from
choice, and wants God to pay him
for it.
Our wants are numbered by the
thousand, but our needs can be
counted on the fingers.
IF wo have disposition to help,
we shall be surprised at the oppor-
tunites God will give us for doing
it..
II we can only convince people
that we are concerned about their
souls, it will not be long before they
Will be concerned about themselves.
BE willing to do things you don't
like to do aud God will soon give
you something to do that you will
love to do.
The Lord will never give us too
much to do.
The everyday cares and duties of
life keep many people from making
fools of themselves.
Duty often requires that we should
do the thing we do not want to do,
and leave undone the thing we want
to do.
The man who loves others will try
to make himself lovable.
Happiness is perfume that one
cannot shed over another, without
few drops falling on one's self.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

WHAT we call luck In our neigh.
boris case and special Providence Ia
our own Is probably but fortunate
accident In either.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

No man Is lovable unless he has
some womanly qualities, and no
woman is respectable unless she has
some manly ones.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12
NUMBER 25.

Do YOU know that heavy bed
clothing often produces sleepless-
ness? That happy children are al
most invariably healthy children ?
That burnt camphor inhaled will Of
ten cure a cold in the head? That a
comb of buffalo horn is much better
Tor the hair than one of rubber or
celluloid? That color taken away
from fabric by acid may nearly al
ways be restored by the use of am
monia? That the safest court plas-
ter to use is the white, transparent
colors, as the others are apt to con-
tain poisonous dyes?
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

THE man who bites off more than
he can chew Is not so numerous as
he who swallows more than he can
digest.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

OF SOME USE" Depend upon it,
children" said the benignant old
gentleman who was addressing
the Sunday School, &" we were fash
iOned by wiser power than our
selves. There was no mistake made
in putting us together. flour hands
were placed where our feet are, and
our feet placed where our hands are,
how could we get along? 1t would
be exceedingly awkward, children,
exceedingly awkward. stretch my
hand out this way, move my
fingers like this. Now, what is this
an evidence of, children ?"
There was no reply, and after wait.
ing moment the speaker answered
the question himself.
at is an evidence of design.
Don't forget that, children" he con-
tinued, impressively. "It is an evil
dence of design. Suppose, for in
stance my eye instead of having lids
and lashes, had legs. How could
use them?"
You could use them In running
your eye over the congregation,
couldn't you ?" replied deeply in
terested little boy near the door.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

IT takes a great deal of philosophy
to get along comfortably in this life,
especially in dealing with philoso-
piers.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

II FAIL" said the boarder, fran
tically saving at the steak, "to find
a weak point in this Armour plate"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

A QUIET-LooKING member Of the
Quaker persuasion recently admin
istered the following apt rebuke to a
certain country parson more cele-
brated for his passionate love Of fox
hunting than for his pulpit powers.
" Friend, thou art clever at fox
catching, I believer" "There are
few men In the country side who can
excel me in the sport" observed the
parson, proudly. Nevertheless,
friend, If were fox, l would hide
where thou wouldst never find me-"
Pray, where would you hide, sir ?"
was the interested query. 81 would
hide In thy study, friend"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

DIDN'T the Chinese invent gun
powder " Yes and now they're
mighty sorry they did,"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

"THERE is nothing like cold, hard
fact for making money" "That is
true it's shown in the ice business
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

PROVIDING FOR THE FUTURE
Mr.. and Mrs. Gumby live out of
town, which makes it incumbent on
Mr.. Gumby, when 1t is necessary to
secure new cook, to go to the
agency in town himself and arrange
for one that he thinks may answer
the purpose. 1t is nothing to the
discredit of Mr.. Gumby to say that
his visits to the agency have been
somewhat frequent, for q good cook
who will stay in the country is al
most an unknown quantity.
One evening not long since, Mr..
Gumby having paid his periodical
visit to the agency, Mrs. Gumby
was dumfounded on entering the
kitchen to find three dignified Bridg-
cts sitting there in a row. Hastily
going into the library where Mr..
Gumby was seated, she exclaimed,
" Henry, what in the world do you
mean by getting three cooks 2"
81 / thought it was the best thing
to do" replied her husband. "You
see, shall be so busy next week
that l won't have time to get any,"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12
POETRY.
A STUDENTS LOyE-LETTER.

The apiarist, as well we know,
VIII always like the BIS;
The sailor never will outgrow
His ardent love for C's.
The millionaire, with pockets full
His Els will never prize:
Coquettish maidens find jov
In always makiUg rs.
surveyors, bound close by chain,
Must III l. believe;
While preachers look out for the n.
when one must sing or grieye.
Collectors take care of the O's,
And farmers Of the P's;
The actors follow up the Q's,
And ladies lOYe their Us.
Professors, men of letters grand,
10 all the Y s are true;
And why don't you know, sweetheart
That IN dead stuck on U?
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

EXPECT every man to do his duty,
and with all your expectations expect
to be disappointed.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12
). IL. sTRATTON JOS. IL. sTRATToN
Notice,

/ HAVE returned home to remain
L this fall and winter. Ihaye located
III DR.. ). II. Austin's Office, oD Main
street. to work at my trade. Work
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction.
Also still continue my oculist business.
viii call on any parties who desire
Glasses, if they will let me know.
have also added to nv line of busi-
ness repairing of all kinds of Sewing
Machines. Also all kinds of material
for them OF hand. All work gnaran-
teed. Bring on your machines.
Very respectfully,
J. A. LOWE,
Oct. 24-tf. Jeweler q Opticlan.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

THE man who attempted to
"cloak his sins" could not find
garment large enough.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

THE melancholy days have come
the overshoe Is here. ....
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

WHEN thing Is hard to endure,
something harder may come to make
it easier.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

THE fool thinks his death would
leave hole in the world.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

SILENT people are misunderstood,
and they deserve 1t.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12
lngtOn In one case.

A SERIOUS REFLECTIoN.--She
was a naughty dame, says the De-
troit Free Press, and being on a
shopping expedition with a friend,
happened to catch a glimpse of an
acquaintance she did not wish to
recognize.
Let us go this way past the silk
counter. l just saw some one don't
care to meet"
Who is she? ?" asked her friend,
who did not see anyone near them.
"Oh, some borrid woman with
smirk on her face. OF course l have
only a bowling acquaintance with
her, and although her face is famil-
lar, ! cannot remember her name."
They finished their shopping, and
the two ladies found themselves at
the same point where one Of them
had seen her disagreeable acquaint-
ance.
There she is again. Why, 1 do
believe she's been here all the time"
she said, pointing to the person in
question.
THAT woman? Goodness sakes,
that's yourself you see in the mirror
there"
QUALIFIED FOR ONE.-"I would
not have nary Office on the top side
er this airth," said the deacon as he
whitfield big piece out of the pine
box by the grocery store.
Not gunner?
"No.n
4" Ner congress ?"
No, SIR"
" Ner president ?"
I" Well, on second thoughts I mout
take president, fer eff thar's a man
livin' kin beat me ketchin' catfish er
killin' ducks hain't set eyes on him
yit."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

BEWARE Of a man when he begins
to disparage himself.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

OUR pre-existant habits are our
present tendencies.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

ONLYa morbid mind is on the look
out for slights. .r,,,,..
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1896-11-12

WE POSITIVELY CLAIM

WE POSITIVELY CLAIM
that we have GREATER FACILI-
III ES for doing business, and can offer
LETTER PRICES, than any drag
mouse in this section of the State.
we confidently invite physicians and
Others who have wants in this line to
GIVE US A TRIAL.
Prices willingly quoted and mail or.
uers solicited and given our prompt
ana careful attention. Respectfully,
0.P. sYDENsTRICKER &Co.
Jan. 18th, 1896.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13
The school examination.

Twenty-eight applicants for teachers
certificates are being examined today
before County School Superintendent
Troy Shelley, the largest number ever
applying at one time. The questions
used are the same with all counties in
the state. The examination on the
study of arithmetic is said to be very
severe this year, in the opinion of Mr..
Shelley too searching. Those teachers
who hold state certificates are the en-
Wed ones, for they do not have to go
through the ordeal of examination again.
A teacher holding third grade certifi-
cate, according to the Oregon, school
laws, must be examined the following
year, and entitle himself to second
grade certificate, in order to teach at
all. A year later must get first grade
certificate, and the year following a
state certificate. According to this law,
our corps of teachers should be very eff
cient, and fully worthy to guide the
young idea in the search for education.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13
Contempt of the County Court.

Mr.. Thomas Denton was summarily
thrust in the county Jail today at the
instance of the county judge. This is
another page of the chapter of the con-
tempt of court case before Judge Blake
ley on Monday. Mr.. Sandoz, the other
combatant, paid the amount of his fine
$l0-but Mr.. Denton refusing, was COM
nitted to jail by the court before whom
Goffense was committed. A reporter
called to see Mr.. Denton, who was
found to be in very indignant frame of
mind. He regards his incarceration as
an injustice. and an unwarranted as
sumption of authority. He preferred
to keep the reasons for his belief to
himself, and would not be quoted on
the question; but he undoubtedly be-
lieves he can "rnake it pretty hot'' for
his honor, and intimated that he will
contest the legality of the commitment
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13

prolific field of scenic grandeur in the
world, views in Malasia, the land OF per-
petual summer, strange sights in China
and Japan. Two entertainments, Fri
day and Saturday, each accompanied by
descriptive lecture.
The welcome sound of the Regulator
whistle was again heard this morning,
when she steamed away on her trial
trip to Collins Landing. Mr.. S. L.
Brooks and Mr.. Lyle were aboard. The
boat has been repaired throughout and
newly painted, and left the dock with all
her pristine beauty.
Every rose has thorn. The acoustic
properties of the meeting hall in the
chamber of commerce building, one of
costliest and handsomest in Portland are
so bad that at distance of 10 feet, a
speakers vocal tones would be shattered
so that they could scarcely be under
stood further off. The defect is to be
remedied by workmen at once.
The committee on arrangements for
the Woodmen and Workmen ball desire
that it should be generally understood
by the ladies >the coming ball being an
invitation bal) that proper invitations
be presented by their escorts or in lieu
of their escorts. This is done in order
to avoid possible bitter feeling that
might arise on request to show invita-
ton, in all cases given to the gentlemen.
The weather observer draws the fol-
lowing deduction in his report for Janu-
ary: While the stock ranges have been
generally free from snow, which obviates
the necessity for feeding stock, yet the
absence of the normal amount of snow
fall reduces the liability for good range
grass in the spring and summer months
SO that, while mild tem peratures have
their benefits to the physical self, they
are detriment to the material inter-
ests of the people.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13
uAIER & BEUTOu'S

public at large had supposed their iden-
tity was not known, but a reporter
learned today that our officers were ION
to it, and in fact have had them under
espionage for some time. Their names
are j. P. Bradley aud Ed. Sheer, the
latter having been in company with a
known robber who lately operated at
Spokane. The sheriff returned this
morning with the prisoners, whom he
found in low dive at the Cascades last
night. They are now ensconced in the
hotel Driver, with a true bill found
against them by the grand Jury.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13

far as they have been brought to our
notice, and as result of our labors have
returned into court four indictments.
We have visited the various county Off
cials, and have been courteously received
by all and have been shown every fa-
cility for examination of the books and
accounts of the county officers. We
have also visited and inquired into the
condition and management of the county
Jail, and find it neat, and as securely
kept as its construction will admit. We
examined the sheriff Office and find the
books correctly kept, its officer well
qualified, courteous and obliging; in
spected the county clerks Office and find
it neat and clean, all books well cared
for, records correctly and well kept, and
an honor to our county; inspected the
county treasurer's Office, and find the
books properly and correctly kept, and
commend him as an obliging and efficient
officer. We also strongly recommend
that the county court purchase new
type writer for use in the county clerks
Office, as the present one is of an inferior
make and worn out.
We endorse the action of the county
court in carefully. examining into all
claims against the county, and in their
conservativeness in allowing the same,
and we especially commend the action
of said court in the matter of public
roads, in making levy of one mill tax
on all taxable property in the county for
road purposes, and recommend that this
system be continued until all the roads
In the county are IN frst-class condi-
tion. We endorse the action of said
court in making necessary improve
ments and repairs in the sheriff's and
clerks offices.
We also endorse the Hon A. A. Jayne,
district attorney, for his impartial and
business-like manner in the discharge of
his duties, and commend him as an
honest and Efficient officer.
We also most emphatically condemn
the city council of The Dalles as respons-
ible for the deplorable condition of the
approaches to the city from the various
county roads leading into the city, and
have appointed Mr.. F. A. Seufert COM
mittee of one to appear before the next
grand jury for the purpose of laying this
matter before them, if not remedied in
the meantime.
! We also desire to thank Hon. w. l..
Bradshaw for his impartial and busi-
ness-like manner in the discharge of his
duties. for his assistance and advice to
US, enabling us to facilitate our work,
and properly perform our duties with as
little cost to the taxpayers as possible.
Having disposed of all business that
has been brought before US, and having
no further business to transact, we re-
spectfully ask to be discharged.
Dated at Dalles City, Or, Feb. II, '96.
T A SEUFERT, Foreman,
w BoLToN, Clerk,
VIM YATES.
r NIcKELsEN.
GEO MONTGOMERY.
w A GATES.
M RANDALL.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13


At the Baldwin
Saturday evening
Georgia University Graduates.
Yesterday was Abraham Lincoln g
birthday. Had he lived he would have
been 81 years old.
The present warm weather, if con-
tinued, will have an injurious effect on
fruit buds. by advancing them too
rapidly.
Tickets for the mask ball can be had
at G. F. Stephens L. Rorden's, Snipes
& Kinersly's, G. L. Phillips and E.
Jacobsen's.
1t will be in orderIoythe poet laure-
ate of Oregon to com&ence work on a
poem for celebration AaSof the opening
of the locks.
The Ancient Order Foresters of Amer
lea has been Americanized by the SUI
preme officers striking out the first two
words of the title.
The Epworth League will hold a busi-
ness meeting this evening in the lecture
room of the M. E. church. Members
are requested to be present.
A Portland daily reports man who
has just returned from a long trip as
''well tired, but much recuperated." "
The. Oregon Scout adds: He must have
been badly rested when he went away.
The residence occupied recently by
Mr.. and Mrs. J. J. Hogan, crushed by
the falling of the brick wall on Second
street, is being rebuilt. Since the acci-
dent Mr.. and Mrs. Hogan have occupied
rooms at the Umatilla.
4 The nandsomest elk head and antlers
{ ever seen in The Dalles Will be present
ed to the order of Elks Ay Sheriff Driver.
The animal was killed an Indian in
the Cascade mountains, And first pur.
chased by Mr.. August Buchler.
Mr.. J. P. McCrum has received the
sad news of the death of his sister, Miss
Maria McCrum in Bowen: Illinois. The
news followed closely upon that of the
death of cousin, Mr.. Clayton McGiIl
president of the Bowen National bank
For the occasion of Sousa's band il
Portland, the o. R. & N. Co will sell
round trip tickets on the 18th and 18th
insts, good returning on the day aftel
each date of sale at the rate of So fol
round trip. Tickets on sale at the Una
tilla House ticket Office or depot. I'd
A unique entertainment will be giver
in the M. E. church Friday and Satur.
day evenings. It Is entitled "Sander
Wonderland" consisting of a larg,
number of immense colored views of tn,
beautiful aud curious throughout tn,
world. These are selected from tn,
Yellowstone National Park, the mos
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13
Grand Jury Report.

In the Circuit Court of the State of Ore
gon for Wasco county.
In the matter of the report of the grand
jury.
We, the grand jury, duly empaneIled
for the February term, 1896, respectfully
show the court that we have been in ses-
sion three days, and have inquired into
all crimes committed in this county, so
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13
CIRCUIT COURT.

The following cases have been decided
since last report:
CRIMINAL
State of Oregon VS. w E Stoy. Plea
of not guilty entered.
State OF Oregon VS. Cow Chow. Plea
of not guilty.
State of Oregon VS. D McKelvey. Plea
of not guilty.
JT Rorick VS. o u Taylor; judgment
for want of answer.
Fred II Dietzel VS. A DIETRICH. Mo-
ton for continuance as to Roth. Motion
overru1ed
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13
KeIIar's saloon robbers Caught.

The grand jury before adjourping had
an opportunity to indict the robbers of
Ad. Kellar's saloon the other night. The
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1896-02-13
BRIEF MENTION.
Leaves From the Notebook of Chronicle
Reporters.

The man who sighs for the happy day
When a barefoot boy he ran,
Is the same old boy who used to say:
81 wisht wuz a man."