davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
PITH AND POINT.

The John, didn't you feel
like fuol when You proposed to me ?"
The Husbau l-'No; but was one"
Life.
"Halloo! What's up with young
smith, ''He inst slid he had blue
blood i'll him, and Tom Jones hit him
on the nose to see. From st. Paul.
Dawkins- "What would you do if
you had all the money you wantedP ?"
Hawkins-'1'd invest it where it
would dolble itself. boston Tran.
script
Pupl-"Ethel, 1 fear your young
man is not erterprising. Ethel
eyes he is. papa; he proposed to mo
on one of his advertising postal cards. +"
Chicago Tribune.
Lawyer-"You will get your third
ont of the estate, madam" Widow
"Ob, Mr.. Bluebagsl How can you
say such thing, with my second
hardly cold in his grave.
"Lemme see, said the funny map
at the play, where On earth did !
ever hear that idiotic joke before?
On, by George, | wrote it myself 1t
is not so bad, after all !"-Ciucinnati
Enquirer.
Poeticus -"Have you rend Shakes
peare's Loves Labor Lost?" Cynicus
mo; but I've taken girl to the
theatre and have her talk to the man
next her all through the show. New
York Herald.
Mrs. Green-"Does your baby rec.
ognize you when you come home?
You are away so much, You know"
Mr.. Black Know me? ] should say
so. He always begins to cry the mo.
ment get inside the door Boston
Transcript
Mr.. Saur Ito his wife, --"How hor-
rid of you to be always looking as
sour ms crabapple. Just look at
Mrs. X. over yonder-the very picture
OF cheerIuiness. Mrs. Saur-"You
seem to forget, my dear, that Mrs. X
is widow. "-Neue Welt.
"Great Scott, DOCTOR" exclaimed
the man in the chair. ''You have
pulled out the wrong tooth !" $50 L
have" replied the dentist, regretfully.
"Well, ] can't charge you anything
for pulling that tooth, and I'm out
just dollar. That's what a man gets
for being il hurry. Chicago Tri-
bune.
Miss Carrie Onn-"Ob, there's
Cholly Fitzinheii And look Nettie.
just look at that ridiculousIy funny
little dog he has with him What in
the world does he drag that animal
around for?" Nettie Guy" Self-pro-
lection. People used to laugh at him.
now they laugh at the dog. San
Francisco Examiner.
a symphony in black and white.
The keyboard lies before her;
or symphony nor melody
Is the sweet outpourer.
Tho Scrip urai injunction she
Is earnestly pursuing;
She never lets her right hand know
What her lett is doing.
Judge.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
Family Records.

Diaries are laughed at nowadays:
but scoffcrs lose sight of the fact that
the man or woman who keeps diary is
preparing a valuable book Of reference.
If a regular family record is not kept.
The common failure to preserve such
records is n most prolific source Of re-
greet and annoyance TO many genera
lions. The fact that the simple dates
Of births. deaths and marriages can be
found for only a limited number Of
years in thousands Of families through
out the country bo'hcrs courts. law
ycrs. fraternal societies. gcucalOglsts.
heirs Mt law. pension claimants and
many other classes While the nfJr-
nation concerning The past can be
cleaned only I'm part. aud tucu through
the expenditure of considerable money.
the present and future should witness
n change I'm this direction Family roc
ords should not only be kept. but they
should bc preserved 10y all the members.
because i'm a very few years the near.
est relatives become separated forever.
by a slight correspondence these rec
ords could be kept up. and the de-
sccndants OF the present generation
would bo thankful therefor
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
\ Carlous tumble.

The curious efsos that may be pro.
duced by very small transportation OF
words and ideas is illustrated by this
slightly mixed instruction, recently
given By an officer at drill TO com.
pany o; men "When give the com.
maud, da.tl you will hr rs the foot
which is on tn ground 90 thu side oil
the one Shica is IN the air. ana re-.
main moticuless r'--Arg)naab
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
4 Ships Exasgcraiin, Expsrionre

The British ship Movhan, which
arrived Mt Astoria, Oregon, had an
cooperating experience. Ten DAVIS
previous she arrived of tho bar az toe
Columbia River AMI sigualled tug to
tow her IN. Bnt tefore tho tug conld
get MP with her the 7towbau was
blown ont 20 sea, au because OF con.
trary win Is 10 was more than week
before sho managed TO make the bar
again, New York Sun,
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18

Twenty-one Presidents OF the United
States are dead. They all lie buried
in nine States Virginia holds five
Washington At Noaut Vernon, Tbonts
Jefferson ut Monticello, james NqIi-
son Mt Montpelier and James Monroe
and john Tyler at Richmond In New
NorS lie Van Buren, nj kindcraoot.
Fillmore a. Buffalo, Grant Mt River.
side Park and Arthur nt Albany. In
Ohio are William Henry Harrison at
North Bend, Hayes aS Columbus and
Garfield Mt Cleveland. In Tcupeg.c,
are Andrew Jackson near Naehyills.
Polk az Nashville aud AuIrev Johg.o,
ut GreanyilIr. The tNo NIfrt. o.. ere
buried at Quincy Ma aud ravlor.
Pierce, Buchanan md Lincoln ar.
buried respectively no Louisville. Ky. ;
Concord, ~ H.; Lancaster. Penn.
aud Spring Gold, lll.-New York Indo.
pcudent.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
DIS us ED,

When poverty enters the door It's sald
Sweet love from the window flies"
She laughed as shespoEe, but he saw unshe.
Dr. eht tears in her earnest eyes.
Proverbs, he said, ''are musty lorc,-
Sweetheart let us prove it so.
For love that is strong can guard the door
'Gainst any and every foe"
Long years went by and they knew not. they
As together they hoped and strove.
mat poverty looked at them, day 10y day,
win tao eyes AMI the smile of love.
Madeline $. Bridges. in Demores,'s
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
ADVERTISING RATKs.

Advertisements will be inserted Ct one dolisA
per square tor the frst insertion and any
cents FOR each subsequent insertion
cents . line, and no notice inserted Cor le~
than one dollar.
Legal advertisements viii DO inserted ~
the rates allowed By law and viii, In all cases,
ee enssed 70 the attorney, and payment viii
DC required upon delivery of certified cory.
CnAhan FoR ANNoUNCKMRNTs.-Fos
oo9nty ofhce7s, IS; State and Congress, $40.
Terms for Gaining advertisements made
enovn on applicants 70 the publisher.
JOB PRINTING executed with neatness and
dhpeteh. E1-Ordes By mail will receive
prsaps attention
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18

Ira Schwarz. n Cook County OILY
chicken farmer, has a black Spanish
hen with heal A. large as goose
egg and wattles almost as long as
those Of turkey. IL does not lay
and does not cacSle, aud altogether Is
the most curious fowl Mr. Schwartz
has ever seen, aud ne has handed
hundreds Of thousands.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18

A Russian physician has been max
iog some curious experiments TO find
out how for animals can count. He
declares thas the crow can court to
ten, and is thereby superior in arith-
metic to certain Polynesiau tribes OF
men, who canuot get beyond fve CT
SIX,
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
A Chinaman.s Qua Excnr.i,n

Alb Chow. q Chnaman with n limit.
cd knowledge of this country, its WAYS
and its language, started from Berkc.
ley, Col, TO ride the few miles into
San Frlncisco tic other dav. He had
been instructed where e. take The
train; but he hal made mistake.
md instead OF boar ling tho regular
steam railroad train he took nm cleo.
tic car that passed the same corner.
" happened 10 he chr Of the loon
line that runs between Berkeley and
Oakland, going one route and return.
ing another He made the complete
circuit once, but made no effort TO get
of the car. The conductor thougLi
The scenery Charmed The celestial, go
said nothing, but collected his fare a
third time ns the train went on its sec.
ond trip TO Oakland Eight times An
Chow made the circuit OF the line, pay.
ing his nickel with che,rfulness every
time The conductor asked for fare
Then at the end OF the eighth trip tho
conductor called policeman md All
Chow was taken before n police judge
for examination rs TO his sanity. The
Interpreter in the court soon discov-
cred the reason OF An elbows peculiar
doings, and with tho courts permis-
sion accompanied him TO San Fran
cisco. New York Sun.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
Divorces I'm Montana.

Montana's percentage OF divorces 10
marriages during twelve months re-
Gently ended was 1926. There we're
DOS divorces granted IN tho state during
the wear
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
A GIFT OF THE GODS.

DWARD HARDY.
an artist of much
promise, and his
friend, Alfre d
Moore, the art ciit-
ic of the Planet.
were smoking in
the studio of the
former. 1t was IA
delightful m orn-
ing, with the sun
streaming into the
room, and through
the open windows
came the hum of
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18
Lickine Cnhs Intn Shame.

The early woodsmen Of America Do.
voutly believed that She bear licked
her cubs into shape, these being sup
posed TO be born almost shapeless.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1896-02-18

Hardy had just finished his mornin &
pipe and was selecting a subject suit.
able for the commission ne had TO exc.
cute. His mind was brimful OF ideas
for paintings, so that 20 was no easy
task 90 make choice At length he
decided that the work should be called
Beside Still Waters"--a lady stroll.
The morning times., 1896-11-08
Thomas A. Edison Tells Why 1t
Cannot Yet Be Made Cogn=
n1erciaI!y Profitable

tically, bat at an angle, and there are many
days when the sun does not shine at all,
aud many more on Which its rays have To
pass through an atmosphere filled with
an inyiSisie vapur that absorbs a great
portion of their beat before they ever reach
tie earth.
on the desert sands of Africa and in
Some parts of our own Southwest, where
the sun shines uninterruptcdIy through
dry air, the use of its ra Us i'll this manner
! would he .nuTc practical. or course, the
amount oi power that is thcoretiC ally avail
able in this wayiS almost heycnd Compu-
tauun-eGOugh could be got from the desert
parts of the earth alone to operate the
machinery of many worlds like this This
you can figure out for yourself, of course
ALMOST TOO VAST FOR BELIEF
No one who has not familiarizcd himself
with the experiments of the scientists
along these lines, can apprchcnd the pos.
sihliities Of the scheme for getting power
direct from the sunshine AS Il matter OF
theoretical and demonstrated fact, it is
possible 10 sut enough power from the sun S
rays that Iali ON u territory no larger than
Manhattan Island and much smaller than
the area OF Chicago to operate all the
machinery in the world.
H. as Ericsson demonstrated h eat enough
to make horsepower may Lc developed
from each square yard from one square mile
enough may be collected 10 make as many
horse powers as there are square yards
in mile, or 3.0e9 SEQ. At the outside
the city OF Ne W York does not use more than
-iuU. U.Uuu horsepower and this amount would
operate all its Gable, electric horse and U!e-
waited cars, maui all its trucks and carts
and wagons, run all its steam engines. all
the Tugs and ferry boat : IN its ilarbDr and all
its machinery of every kind Chicago
probably Gse> "A lIltlclUss. Paris about tie
sIuie and London about twice as much, or
say 1000, u,uuua!tuErtucr These i'ur great
cities then u,e more than u million less
horsepower ditugo Their than one square
mile wouldpruluCc. Now, w,ManuattauislanI
contains twcnty-twO square uies, aud such
an area, according Ia the calculations Just
made, absorb, enough heat 10 ms. l.t 60 .97I :
zoo horsepower, whenever the sunshine
tails directly anu uBimpcdrIly upon IT,
twenty-five square miles Of territory on
sahara or even in Arizona, could furnish
all The pnwvf humanity has use Ter at this
stage OF IT. Industrial development
bAt ii womb ~ use! i-ss tu develop power
Ia those EI1Is. r..lnote from TIE ccut,rs 4
industry aui civilization. unless soiuc >.hen,.
were perfected to apply tn" power al the
pJIats NhrIv 10 is ilyai needed. To the lay |
mind The 1l-rlTfC storage battery suggests
itself as available Tor this purpose, but Mr. |
Edison holds that Ia the preScat Imperfect |
Development oi this ooat!ivanc-. tEansniis- |
The morning times., 1896-11-08
SURPRISES ARE IMPENDING
Discoveries Likely Soon to Be
Made That Will Cause Rev
oluiionS in Life and
Industry.
Cnpyri ght. 1876.


West Orange, y. j.. Nov. 1.-ThomaS a.
Edison sat in his laboratory today and
discussed the mighty forces Of nature and
their utilization Tor the benefit of mankind.
He believes the world to be on the brink
OF Some astonishing advances III the ART
Of power development; that certain the
oretical and fundamental facts are soon TO
bemadc commercial use OiIn ways That VIII
amount TO a revolution of life ana industry
almost as great as was brought atout by
the steam engine or tEe telegraph OF tie
telephone or the dynamo.
Some of the SCIENTISTS" lie said, have
been speculative a to what the world Will
do when its supply of coal has been burned
up. AT the same time the commercial
inventors of this age are working hard TO
find out practical solutions of this problem
and there IL I.u1 ,Ec slightest GUubi al my
mindthar more han one method FOR Ectlini;
great deal more power than we shah
ever need will be practically and SUCCESS
fully worked ugt, long before there VIII be
actual necessity for decreasing coal con-
sumption. 20 long JS me sun sii!.rS, man
Will be able to develop power in abundance,
NO matter whether InCre are coal I.l!ucS
or not, and when its rays have lrru
quenched, pnweT will no longer be needed.
II is from the sun in raCI that We get al
our power now, for coal is only stored
sunshine ana TIE rays thal fall uUun the
earth's surface today are as full Of power
as ever they Were.
John ETICs-,u showed by his expert
ucutS wiiNth,- % engine. "a wiiCu h,. WIS
working when hc died, that each square
yard uf the cartb's surface receives syffi-
Cient heat from the sliI, when its ray, fall
perpendiCglarly throuch dry attn sphere.
20 make enough steam 10 run an engine. IL
one horse ppTcr. Tie only obstacle 10 tie
direct use Of the sens CuIcsut rated rays
for the purpose Of making power In this
latitude lies ~ tie iacl tllt. cNUeI JuE "a
midsulr 8Ier, the sunshine does not fall yer
The morning times., 1896-11-08
WHAT'OTO BE THE OUTCOME
Vivid Picture of the Gradual But
Inevitable Effect of Absorp-
tion Upon Human Life
and Happiness.

it is hardly possible even to conjecture,
highly paternai form OF government would
seem 10 be Inevltdbie, for the water must
be parGeiled Uut with the utn.cSJ wisdom
ami impartiality, and no waste can be
Tolerated. Navigation, OF COURSE, viii be
tEInS Ut tne past. Even the fishes will
become almost or quite extinct.
More than this: man Will doubtless have
suffered actual physical mOdiLCaliUns.
gradually brought ABOUT by the chane..s
10 his environment Some OF these u:u
be due to atmospheric changes; for the
air. besides being much diminished. scIl
almost surely be Impoverished in It's most
vial element. 1t is Il very suEgeSfiye
fact that today the proportion of > syuen
is only about one part in five; we are
pretty safe In assuming that the pspp II
ton was once considerably greater Oxy-
gen is an extremely Ictive clement, el.. -rly
entering into combinations OF vIriius
Kinds which LOCK- it up In solid or fluid
form Nitrogen. on the contrary, is Ie-
uarkahly inert, entering into Curbin.ir.1n
with reluctance, and freeing itself .=rth
extraordinary facility; its Compounds ara
, notably unstable, oI:en to the extent Of
being violently explosive; and il is as
useless for the maintenance Of Life as
ashes to feed a fire. We conclude, ru"te-
Iuir. tauJ tGV ;.tI.s,.,nler5. yyIY.,. A. 80.
comes less in volume and density. w:n t
ihe S;!uc time a-Jrrinrute in quality. and
the lungs OF man must needs acco.n.uo-
date themselves to the change by sr.l,.I-
my ch..rging their capacity Thus tie
very constitution and aspect of the hmm
race viii in the course of ages suffer
marked alteration.
And what will be the final outcome?
II is diShcartening picture Even the
Scanty supply of water which we have
thus far assumed, must ut length begin
10 fail: it VIII no longer lie sufficient for
the entire population. UnayOidably some
must perish. There is TO Imaginable al
tentative; and who shall il Ee? 1t is i'm
possible to conceive of any other solution
than 4 struggle for bare existence ncrCer
than any thing which history records
a Conflict i'll which the strongest and most
INSCRIPTIONS will cons antly prevail such
condition of things means, Of course, a
rapid revcrSion to savaEery, anu that, IN
turn, will but hasten the end, Tor the
elaborate system of works necessary to
make this dccadeHt world habitabie can lie
maintained only by strong and wise
government under = high civiEtZarion. IL
this fails the last degenerate remnants
of the race will soon lie extinguishcd-the
sooner the better, when that last stage is
reached
And what next? AT last poor mother
earth, dry and slrunken with age, the
bloom OF flower and leaf quite faded
from her checks, her face Scared and
pitted with the tombs Of all her offspring,
will lie as dead and silent as the ehostly
moon. CHARLES KELSEY GAINES.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-09-10

According to a celebrated anatomist
there are upwards of 100000 little
glands in the human stomach. These
glands pour out the digestive juices
which dissolve or digest the food. In
digestion is want of juice, weakness of
glands, need of help to restore the
health of these organs. The best and
most natural help is that given by
Shaker Digestive Cordial. Natural, be-
cause it supplies the materials needed
by the glands to prepare the digestive
juices. Because it strengthens and in
vigorates the glands and the stomach,
until they are able to do their work
alone. Shaker Digestive Cordial cures
indigestion certainly and permanently.
1t does so by natural means, and there
in lies the secret of it's wonderful and
UNMARRIED success. At druggists, price
10 cents to $l.OO per bottle.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-09-10
We Didn't Say 1t.

The item recently published in The
GAZETTE, warning the public to "be-
ware of business schools that offer free
tuition was a paid advertisement
and not the advice of The GAZETTE, as
some may have been led to believe
The only school of which we have any
knowledge that advertises free tuition,
is the Wisconsin Business University
of Lacrosse. That institution is a
thoroughly responsible and high
grade school and is endorsed by every
bank in that city. Further than this,
50 far as we are able to learn, its
students are eminently successful be-
ing employed, not only in Lacrosse,
but in all of the larger cities.
For our part, we consider the in
vitation to test the claims of the Uni
versity by attending on trial free, a
very liberal one and indicative that
the University is just what it claims
to be-first class in every respect.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-09-10
DOWN GO RATES.
The Northwestern Makes Some
Material Reductions.

The Chicago & Northwestern COM
pany has been making material re-
auctions in its freight rates from St.
Paul and Minneapolis to this point
and from other points to Chicago. The
rate on frst-class goods from St. Paul
and Minneapolis to this point has been
cut from 40 to AZ cents; on second
class freight it has been cut from 40
to 80 cents and on fourth class the cut
is from rs to "a cents.
The Springfield Advance says that
the new tariff of the road still further
reduces the cost of getting the farm
er's grain into the markets of the
world. While Agent Beecher of this
station does not seem to be apprised
of the cut the Advance says that the
agent there furnishes the following
particulars on the new rate:
To Chicago and Milwaukee the rate
per cwt. on fax seed in carload lots
has been reduced from % to 81 cents.
This means that it now costs from IS
to So less, according to the size of the
car, to send carload of flax seed from
Springfield to either of the above nam
ed cities. The reduction in wheat
rates between Springfield and Chicago
and Milwaukee, by the tariff just issu
ed is one cent per cwt., which in addi-
ton to the one cent reduction of a few
weeks ago, makes the very substantial
decrease in charge or two cents cwt.
1t is now 10 cents. On an average
carload of wheat the reduction would
amount to about So. On corn, oats,
rye and barley between the above
named points the reduction is from 20
to III cents. To St. Paul and Mimi
eapolis, where most of the wheat from
Springfield is sent, the new rate is II
cents displacing the figure of l2A.
This is on wheat, rye and barley. The
aggregate of these reductions amounts
to large figure, and it all goes to
the farmers, as the elevator man buys
on certain margin of allowance for
freight charges, and when the cost Of
shipping the grain to market is less
ened, he can pay the producer more.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-09-10
Your Boy Won't Live a Month.

So Mr.. Gilman Brown, of "a Mill St.,
South Gardner, Mass, was told by the
doctors. His son had lung trouble, fol-
lowing Typhoid Malaria, and he spent
three hundred and 'seventy-five dollars
with doctors, who finally gave him up,
saying: Your boy won't live month"
He tried DR.. Kings New Discovery
and few bottles restored him to health
and enabled him to 60 to work per-
fectly well man. He says he owes his
present good health to use of DR.. Kings
New Discovery, and knows it to be the
best in the world for lung trouble. Trial
bottles free at Otto Schmahl's drug
store.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-09-10

For the best saddle horse ST. is offer
ed and for the second best SOC. is offer
ed. For the best pair of mules S1.OO
is offered and for the second best SOC
is offered. In class nine $1.5O is Of
fered for the best carriage team, match
ed and mated and owned by the ex-
hibitor. 75c. is offered to the second
best. For single gelding or mare
the same premiums are offered. In
class 10 diplomas are offered for the
best regular draft stallion of any breed
and for the best stallion of any age.
Class IL calls for grand sweepstakes,
diplomas being given to the best stall
lion of any age and to the best mare
or FLY, any age. In division B there
are six classes, the premiums offered
in each being the same. The classes
are distinct for shorthorns, Holsteins,
Devons, Attorneys and Jerseys, Here
fords add Polled Angus. The pre-
miums follow:
Best bull, 3 years old and
ONO1 . TIOO Nl,UO
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1896-09-10
Old People.

Old people who require medicine to
regulate the bowels and kidneys will
find the true remedy in Electric Bit
ters. This medicine does not stimu-
late and contains no whiskey nor other
intoxicant, but acts as tonic and al
terative. It acts mildly on the
stomach and bowels, adding strength
and giving tone to the organs, there
by aiding nature in the performance
of the functions. Electric Bitters is
an excellent appetizer and aids diges-
ton. Old people find it just exactly
what they need. Price fifty cents and
S1OO per bottle at Otto SchmahPs
Drug Store. 5