New-York tribune., 1896-01-19
THE TALK or THE DAY.

The City Council OF Edinburgh has decided tina:
II cannot interfere with the playing OF golf Sun
days by members Of the Burgess Club
,aan, O hi, weSay So saps pson
here Is a student at all?
Wlfe-Why not?
Landord-Iie studies too much.-(Fiiegende Blat-
ter
Wiggles On love)-Why man. her very feet arr
a poem.
Giggles IA cynical friend)-No doubt; but isn't
poem OF only two feet rather short?
Wife-You saw Mrs Browner last evening?
Husband-Yes. but not to speak TO-
sitting with her for more than two hours.
Husband-Trus. but 1t was she who did the talk
ing.-(l'oston Transcript.
Herr Asst the shepherd doctor" OF Germany. !!
getting considerable notice in the European paper.
During the last year he treated about two thousand
patients He diagnoses disease by examining a loci
OF the patients hair and his universal charge for
advice is about quarter OF a dollar Clients wait
patiently the whole day through to see him. evel
in bad weather. and II by the time he retires nea
midnight they have failed to have an audience vie
him they take up their posts uncompainingly the
next morning The doctors patients are referred t;
by the sceptcal as "Ast's sheep
WINTER WISE.
Sittin' here meath wintry skies
Feller falls TO wishin
He where the rivers rise
Fshin.
What is ice when folks can't skater
All the flowers he's mssin';
d Likewise. sweethearts at the gate
Kissin',
Talk o. snow bein soft an white
Little 10Y It's br.ngin,
Want green meadows-birds in flight.
/. sinsin'.
- Give me-give me dreamy dellA
4 Where the dews are sprnkltn':
Ioneysuckles-cattle bells
-(Atlanta Constitution.
A Maine paper contained the following advertise
ment the other day:
IL Saml H. forbid ali persons trusting or har-
boring my wife Abbie --, as will pay no bills OF
her contracting from this date. she has left my
bed and board between three and half-past five in
the morning while | was gone down to Wiscasse,
after CLANS But the cars will run just the same
Saml Ii"
Sunday Parade.-Sereeant calling oup-Krause!
Krause-Yes. Sergeant.
Sergeant-This Is sunday
Krause-To command Sergeant
Sergeant-This afternoon you and will take
Krause (delghted)-To command Sergeant
Sergeant-You see called you rhinoceros yester-
day and should like to make my apologies 10 the
dear creature in your presence.-(Der Cute kame'
rad.
IT has long been suspected that when a clergyman
In the of his sermon asks any in the con-
gregaton who chooses to answer some questions
he has propounded. he doesn't really expect any
one o % This proved at watch-nighi
service at St Paurs Church. Brxton. England. The
vicar the Rev. Carnegie Brown. preaching
sermon on the Prodigal Son. in the course OF
which he said: Last year some people came 10
watch might service from Il nelghboring public
house. and some Of them were drunk Is there any
one here like that tonight" Yes" said respect
able looking man seated In the aisle. I'm here, anc
I'm drunk" The effect the congregation was
electrical The preacher startled for moment
but. after saying. Poor fellow poor fellow, pro-
ceeded with his discourse Il tell you I'm drunk
said the intruder Hold your tongue. said ths
vicar Il am speaking now. and must not be inter-
rupted"
A very funny episode at Smith College last spI,ins,
when the new senior girls took charge OF the ,iar So,i
monthly magazine was occasioned by me pe0unn nns
day this enterprising young woman wen, hay hsv
Northampton to instruct the printer as 70 70 w, rvns
she wished him to do. "You can set up your spt Ut
Immediately" she said 'as We are 'n sa,d tSs
hurry for the magazine ''Yes, miss sn snn s, se,
printer. "but--but where Is the copy .su, o., .yes
mean the articles we're going 10 puid the busl.
miss rejoined the printer. on sn saiu , vat I'll
ness editor. the art cies aren't all writn ' Of
let you have them just soon as gn sneo an setting
up your type can't you? thought yo1, H., wo" hsfere
that much done ahead" 1t was some si.ne S,tor"
the printer could persuade the pusIhess ssnv mus must
that before setting up the type tns eup' t him -
not only be written. but handed over !" '
(Washngton Pathfinder