The San Francisco call., 1896-03-30
ON SOCIALISM
A Regular Course Begun at
Kohler.Chase Hall Yester.
day.
A Satirical Discourse Regarding a
Reported Ministers Excursion
to the East.

A course OF lectures on liberal social
ism was begun yesterday in Kohler Il
Chase Hall by Morrison l. Swift, the sub
iect discussed being ''Drones, Interest and
Rent; and the Economic and Moral
Method of st. Paul Touching These
Phenomena" A review of recent social
events was first given. Mr.. Swift said:
1t is reported that free excursion to the
East is to be given to the ministers and pro-
fessors OF lis coast by Mr.. Huntington in re-
turn for their services to the Southern Pacific
Company in keeping perfectly silent about the
wrongs done TO the people by the railroad.
All the professors OF political economy, ethics,
and allied subjects are to be especially recog
nized by grand reception at Huntington's
New York palace. and they are to be honored
by an introduction to the greatest men OF the
country-C. Vanderbilt, j. Rockefeller, A.
Carnegie, q. Pullman, j. Astor, g. Gould Nor
gan, G.. Cleveland and General Miles. c. 2.
Huntington and Colonel Crocker will INTRO
duce them. Each professor VIII be allowed a
few moments OF conversation with these 'emi-
nent personeges, and will be given their
photographs token of special esteem.
The following comes to US from our special
Southern Pacific reporter: The Southern Pa
cifc has set aside fund which it calls the
ministers fund.- All ministers whose
churches cannot pay their salaries will have
claim upon this funo if they will merely say
nothing about the Southern Pacific Rail road
and will preach exclusively about spiritual
and heavenly things. The southern Pacific
becoming corrupted and defiled through the
interference of one two Eastern clergymen
in secular things, and takes this m2.ns OF keep
ing the faith pure in California. 1t congratu-
lates the ministry OF the coast that none of its
members have soiled thetr cloth by dalliance
with any of those vicious and worldly move
ments which are falsely called advanced.
ANY pastors of rich churches, who through
nervous prostration have come TO think that
society is not perfectly just or that the masses
are not perfectly happy, will be given an ex.
tended European tour from the ministers
fund. They will be allowed 10 travel until
their malady is entirely cured.
Mr.. Huntington now frankly admits that
he sees the advantages of higher education
more clearly than ever before. He finds that
his designs are hampered only by base and
uneducated persons. He is not aware that
single college graduate has thrown any OBJ
stacles in his way. II learning does not place
men on the same level with the rich it at least
teaches them to peFforate and despise the
vulgar fallacies OF the common working herd.
to do something substantial for the university
graduates associations of this State.
There are to be receptions to Vanderbilt and
Depew this week by the Bohemian and Union
clubs becoming their civilian magnihcence.
The Y. NJ. c. A. is to enjoy the rare felicity of
hearing few words fall from the lips of that
sublime Christian and patriot Cornelius
Vanderbilt.
In order that all sides OF California life may
be represented it has been proposed that o
grand procession OF all the unemployed in San
visitors from the ferry to the hotel. Mr..
Depew viii be requested 10 speak from the
balcony on the benefits rendered to the masses
by millionares. Mr.. Vanderbilt is TO be for
mally requested to contribute ward to the
Suicide House for Workingmen, where those
who are no longer needed by the capitalists
can take their own lives with the least degree
OF pain.
A deputation from the e-meal-in-twodays-
out-of-labor-union will wait upon DR.. Depew
to obtain courses OF reading on the subject,
"How to make high-minded American citizens
out of skeletons who eat three times a week"
1t has leaked out that a marble statue of Mr.
Vanderbilt and Mr.. Huntington, arm in arm
may be erected in Golden Gate Park, where
the workingmen can see il free. 1t is to repre-
sent the union of the East and West. They
will appear to be walking on clouds, but be-
low win be seen the feminine figures of Lib
erty and Justice, holding them up. The prop
osition comes from the Merchants Association
of San Francisco. They have offered to carry
out the idea if the unemployed viii contribute
their leisure to the job gratis, and if the
sculptor will work for nothing Much enthu-
siasm is felt.
Five hundred skeletons have consented to
embellish the least in the maple room of the
Palace Hotel, given by the Union Club to these
Eastern grandees. Many of them are, or were,
strikers who were discharged by the Southern
Pa cific and blacklisted. In the middle of the
banquet they are 10 be ushered through the
sum ptuous hall to enhance the pleasures of
the jewellers by showing the contrasts which
God makes in human lots. Each of them is TO
no given a drink OF water