Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1896-09-02

! lie wants little more.
Truth.
He-I fear the worst. She-What's
happened, George? "Your father has
paid back that $40 he borrowed. Life.
Muggins-Is your son In business
Bugglns-He's contractor. Mugglns
What line? Buggins-Debts.-P
delphia Record
Homekeep-Ever drink any of these
substitutes for coffee? Dayboard-I
haven't drank anything else for seven
years.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Hedges-Sappy is continually falling
off his wheel. Rose-What can you
expect from a fellow who isn't we'll
balanced philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
Summer is tough season on us par
ents." 'Why SOP "Our daughters
who have been graduated try to make
us talk dramatically" Chicago Rec
ord.
"Fame," said Uncle Eben, 'am jes'
like swingin' In er hammick. Hit am
mighty good fun eff somebody doan cut
de string an drap yer."-Washington
Star.
"Does your family sympathlze with
you when you have insomnia?" 'Yes.
When l can't sleep l sit up all night
and practice on my accordion. ."-Chk
cago Record.
Though you may not take vacation
On your very slender pay,
There is rest and recreation
In the bores that go away.
Chicago Record.
Wlllie-Grandpa, tell me n story.
people thought of marrying for mon
ey- Willie-Oh, don't mean fairy
story.-Norristown Herald.
"Enen," said old Borderkeep, "here
comes them York folks. Give the chill
dren little more snuff an get 'em ter
sneezin'. We've got ter make 'em think
it's cool here somehow Judge.
One bitter drop spoils rapture's cup;
When ice sells by the splinter
We cannot can the hot waves up
To use them in the winter.
Chicago Record.
~ suppose you're fond of Shaks-
peare," said one legitimate actor to an
other. "Of course l am" "Then why
in the name of humanity do you insist
on acting his plays?-Washington
Star.
Wickwire-Have you noticed that
Nudge has quit cigars and taken up a
pipe? Yabsley-Yes; 1 wonder what is
the cause-has he been playing the
races or getting engaged?-Indianapolis
Journal.
Just like our hopes,
Which oft vanish in yapor,
Are the candidates promises;
Strong-on paper.
Philadelphia North American.
Salvation Army Apostle-If you
swear at those horses, my good man,
You'll never go to heaven. Teamster
(humbly)-I knows 1t, mum; but If l
don't I'll never get to Tonawanda.-
Buffalo Times.
Mechanic-"I have just been married
and would like a raise in my wages"
Employer-"I am sorry, but the COM
pany Is only responsible for accidents
that happen to the men while in the
factory. brooklyn Life.
Wiggles-'There's one good thing
about Hicks. He is always willing to
admit it when he Is In the wrong"
Waggles-'I don't think 1t is a good
thing. 1t doesn't seem to trouble him
n bit" t."-Somervllle Journal.
l summered on the Jersey coast,
And / am puzzled still,
As twixt the skeeters and hotels,
Which has the longest bill.
Louisville Truth.
"It seems to me- Mr.. Stillson, that
YOUR new house Is lacking in judicious
use of fretwork." "Well, my wife will
fill that deficiency just as soon as she
gets her eye on those measly closets. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-"I am going to pay you the
highest compliment man can pay Il
woman" She-"This Is so sudden"
He-'I know it, but came away with
out my pocketbook-can you lend me
dollar until tomorrow T'-New York
World.
"And how Is your papa, EddieW
Papa Is feeling ever so much better
to-day" II suppose it's the change in
the weather." mo, ma'am, 'taint the
weather. Mamma has decided to start
for the seaside ow"-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
NO" said Dismal Dawson, in answer
to his benefactor's question, "hard
times is not the best for our business.
Nor yet good times. The times that
suits me best is about medium-when
the work amt too plenty, nor money
tr> coo roo ~. Ipdionopo;c Journal