The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1896-08-26
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
- The very essence of Christianity
lies in strict observance of the golden

| lies IN StrlcG observance VI tue Solueu
rule.
= Suicides in Paris average II a
day in December and 18 day in
June.
- There's no knowing where the
bailiwick begins and ends Of gossip
ing woman
"A woman is generally more eco
nomical than a man because her
"waist" is smaller.
-Zoologists say that all known
species Of wild animals are gradually
diminishing in size.
= Instead of some one else's name
or recommendation, let your daily
life be your own endorsement.
"A Tennessee man has been arrested
for voting twice. Is twice the very
best that Tennessee man can do2
It's mighty small limit !
-"Philip," said Mr.. Gratebar,
"don' t get a big head. At the same
time always hold your head up. Be
modest always, humble never.
= Never be ashamed Of plain clothes
while doing plain work. A white
starched shirt front and tooth-piok
shoes are not trademarks Of gentility.
He: "Go home now2 Why
you used TO let me stay two hours
longer than this 81 know it, dear.
But that was before we were engaged. ."
- Guest-What do you mean by.
bringing me these bones? / ordered
mutton chop. Waiter-Dat's right,
boss; de mutton's been all chopped
off. #
= The River Amazon is the home
of species of tree climbing fish which
the scientists call callichthys. It's.
often found high up in trees threeS
miles from water.
= Observation is the beginning Of
education. That boy is half educated
who knows how to use his eyes, and
the man is not half educated who does
not know how to use them.
= A curious fact about cigarette
smoking is that nearly double as many
cigarettes are smoked during July,
August and September as during any
other three months of the year.
= Caller.-"They tell me. Mrs.
Sourly, that; your husband is bull on
the Board Of Trade ?" Mrs. Sourly-
"Don't know anything aboas that, but
I do know that he's bear at home.
"You are now," said the North
Carolina landlord, in solemn tones,
"over 3, 900 feet above the level of the
sea p Heavens" cried the guest,
"what fall and can t swim lick. -
= Father-Aha, so you ran away
from Sunday school to 60 to skating,
and broke through the ice, did you2
Son-No, / didn't. l fell asleep in
church and got locked in "But how.
did you get so wet? 2" 'That's from
the tears I shed when I walked up. =
| = Said little Fannie Chah1e:
"Mama, this is the place where some
little girls were walking, and one of
them fell down and hurt herself, and
they all laughed except me" And
why didn't you laugh, Fannie2n
"Because was the little girl that fell
down and hurt herself"
- Miss kissam-'You useem de-
pressed tonight, Mr.. Dexter" Mr..
Dexter-"Yes; I am. I went to a.
fortune teller to-day to find out my
fate, and wa.s told that the girl love
would not marry me- Miss Kissam
-"But, Mr.. Dexter, no fortune teller
is authorized to speak for me-.
1t costs money to hunt on the
Emperor Williams African game pre-
serves. First there is a retaining fee
or license Of $3.50 dollars, with which
the hunter must provide himself be-
| fore he sets foot in the jungle. Then
if he shoots an elephant the privilege
costs him $50, and each succeeding
one s125 more. g
| = Alfonso of Spain is not the only
boy king in the world. There is an
other in India, but hiy name is ~unpro-
nounceable and too long even to be-
written. He is calleG Sab Sumshere
Jung for short. he is now IL years
of age, and already looks wornout with
the weight of his responsibilities. His
kingdom is that Of Nepal, and he
rules over some 100000 people.
"A prominent citizen Of Parsons,
Kan. determined to SUP with party
of friends against the will of his wife.
He was resolved that he would, and
she that he should not 30. His friends
missed him, and just for fun invaded
his residence, where they found him
and his wife sitting in their chairs
fast asleep. He had given her an
opiate that he might slip away, and
she had given him one that he might
not.
Wife G1.3O p. m.)-What's that
horrid odor? Smells like alcohol.
Husband-Y-e-s, my dear; we use al
cohol at the lodge for limitations. Take
some alcohol, light it, put salt in the
fame and it gives a ghostly yellow
light makes folks look like ghosts, you
know" s'E'ut the odor comes from
your breath" eyes, m dear; in
the 9th degree personate the chief
demon, with flames coming from his
mouth. I take mouthful Of alcohol
and swallow of salt, and then set
fire to it. But, m dear, you mustn't
tell these things. Secret s'ciety secrets
very sacred, you know
- Eat all CO.. food slowly. Diges-
tion will not BID q till she temperature
Of the food has been raised by the
heat Of the stomach to SO degrees.
Hence the laore heat chat can be i'm
parted to it by slow raastication, the
better. The precipitation of large
quantity of cold food into the stomach
by fast eating may, and sometimes
does, cause discomfortand Indigestion,
and every occasion of this kind results
in measurable injury to the digestive
function. Ice water drunk, with cold
food of course increases the mischief.
Hot drinks-hot wafer, weak tea,
coffee, chocolate, etc., will, on the
contrary, help to prevent it. But eat
slowly, anyway.
Federal detectives have arrested
| Honru Wells an attorney of Girard.