Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1896-03-27
atjauside Gatherings.

p@ When once infidelity can per-
suade men that they will die like
beasts, they will soon be brought to
live like beasts also.
p@ Times are changing to such an
extent that twill only be few years
until parents will be sent to bed for
talking back.
p@ There is no policy like politeness /;
and good manner is the best thing in
the world, either to get good name
or to supply the want oft.
p6 Elder Henry Preble, an aged
itinerant preacher, of Waterville, Me-,
in the prosecution of his calling, has
travelled 10000 miles by steam.
p@ "Give me a chew of tobacco,
Sam; some of that extra good kind"
"Beggars must not be choosers," Sam
replied. "Well, I just want a little
chew, SIR"
p@ "My birthday is on April FOOLS
day." said Jack, "but I don't care.
That don't make me fool, any more
than being born on the Fourth of July
would make fire-cracker of me-"
pg Somebody says that "an intoxi-
Gated man is like drum-the lighter
he is the more noise he makes" This
is not true. A man can get so "tight"
that he cannot make particle of
noise.
H@ III hope you will not buy whisky
with that" said the charitable gentle
man, as be gave the beggar scent
piece. "No, sir; I will not" replied
the poor man; II do not drink nickel
whisky"
p~ The surest way to produce NOR
al blindness is to neglect moral con-
viction. One who pursues this course
will soon admire his own errors, credit
his own lies, and take pleasure in his
own wickedness.
e6 1t seems as if in Italy only
women and convicts do the hard labor.
In Rome, where there is an immense
amount of new building and work
being done, the women find as much
employment as the men.
p9 Old Lady-Little boy, did you
see anything of snow-white cat u?
"Yes. She fell into barrel of black
paint down the street; but 1 fixed her
all right" "Oh, you good little boy.
What did you do ?" 81 threw her into
barrel of whitewash."
s9 The United States postoffice de-
partment now Uses over 5000 railway
cars on 10000 miles of road, and
keeps 5000 clerks on the move,
travelling in crews 140,0o0,000 miles
year, during which time 9, 900, 900, 900
pieces of mail matter are handled.
a~ "What's your business ?" said
the magistrate of police court the
other morning to prisoner. "I'm an
observationist, your honor" An OBJ
servationist! What is that?'' "One
who looks around in the daytime to
see what he can steal at night, if it
pleases your honor"
a@ The large sums of money which
the government of India devotes an
nually as rewards for the destruction
of snakes in that country, have brought
about an unexpected result. The ma
tives of those parts are now beginning
to breed and rear poisonous snakes for
the purpose of obtaining the usual
head money offered.
p~ Two Scotsmen, one an Aberdo-
nian and the other a man from Inve-
raray, were engaged in a hot debate on
the correctness of thei: respective
modes of English pronunciation. At
last he of the granite city clinched
matters by remarking with withering
contempt, "Well, at ony rate, dinna,
ca flush 'feesh.'"
a@ According to the Detroit Free
Press man named Willis has taken
up his residence on the coast of Flori-
da for the purpose of killing sharks,
because one bit his wife in two. In
one month he killed over 100 by
exploding giant powder in the water.
We should think he would find it
cheaper, easier, and even less danger
Gus, to get another wife.
B9- A Western woman is raising
funds for a new church by selling
bricks at 81 each. The buyers are ex-
pected to cut their names in the bricks
and return them, when they will be
laid in the outer walls of the church
edifice, so that future generations may
read them. Despite the attractiveness
of this scheme, there are men who
prefer to invest dollar for brick in
the hat.
R@ Arabs in the desert have con.
tracted a strange prejudice against
running water, and they will only
drink what they find in some stagnant
pool. So much has this become a
matter of habit with them that, while
the most poisonous-looking water,
agrees with them admirably, pure run.
ming water will make the violently
sick.
ia A Snowman was distributing bills
when he met small boy. "See here,
bub," said he, "take one of these bills
home, and tell all your folks the good
news!" "Boo-hoo !" beloved the boy,
"There, there, l did not think your
folks were dead" "Tain't that, mis-.
ter" said the youth. "They amt dead,
but they are so mean to me that l hate
to tell 'em any good news!"
BB The stomach of an ostrich that
died few days ago in the menagerie
in Central Park, New York, was found
to contain a wooden clothespin, two
pieces of glass, a mouth harmonica, a
piece of umbrella handle inches long,
metal skate key, brass doorkey, a