The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1896-09-19
Though problems come in grim arrov

Is, Mister, what's the score?r
Warrington Star
Watts-I wonder what kind =,
shirts these can be that are advertised
for 20 centsT Married men,sD
indianapolis Journal.
Callers-"Are the ladies' at homesy
Bridget examining their cards,-
"sure, ma'am, it isn't them that lives
here-lt's the McAdamses. Life.
Tommy-"My pa says it's sin fl
swear" Johnny-"Huhl | guess vour
pa never tried to explain politics to
your ma. "-Philadelphia North Ameri.
can.
Jim Senn-"Why do they call money
the long greenT" Joe Cose--"Nega-
lively, l suppose; because without II
you are short and blue."-PhIIadeIpbIa
North American.
Everyby-"This rain is a good thing
for the country, isn't IT." Neverby-
"Oh, don't know about that. just
look at what it's done to my straw
hatv'-Roxbury Gazette.
Il like summer; my wife is always
so gentle and amiable in hot weather"
80 is mine; 1t must be because all the
progressive euchre clubs have shut
down. Chicago Record.
"Them folks from town didn't stay
much of a spell, Uncle Reub?" NAV;
went back mad cause we didn't hey
no cycle paths an 'lectric lights in Their
blackberry patch. Chicago Record.
Hlcks-I saw your poem in the paper
last week. How did you get your pull
with the editor? Wicks-Oh, | didn't
bother the editor, called upon the
business manager.-Somervllle Journal.
Mrs. Snobbs-"How many girls do
the Newlies keep" Mrs. Nobbs-"Only
one" Mrs. Snobbs-"Only one? Good
gracious. and I came pretty near call
ing there yesterday. Cleveland Lead
er.
Husband-T expect some friends Of
mine this evening, and l must 90 out
and buy some cigars. Wife-Why,
thought you bought some for them. 81
did, but l forgot to get any for myself"
Life.
"Dah's one ting Shore" said Uncle
Eben, bout all desher accidents das
gwineter happen long oh de Fohth er
July Dab ain nobody kin say dey
didn' know twas loaded. Washing
ton Star.
The merchant Ito his daughters suit
orl-"Now, how are you fixed financial
ly!' The suitor-"Well. | have no
debts" The merchant-"What n pltyi
Then cannot give you my daughter"
Sketch
Mrs. Wallace-Here again. see. Why
don't you settle down to work? Perry
Patetic-Ma'am, l would but somehow
| was always too ambitious to come
down to workin' fer day wages.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Iloratius (the good one)-Pa says II
I'm real good he'll take me to the cir
Gus Thomas (the bad one)-Aw, rats.
Yer amt got no brudders ner sisters
do ez yer please. Yer de on'y excuse
he's got.-Judge.
Il am glad to see you looking so much
better than when | met you last, Miss
Quickstep." 'Why, when was that, Mr..
Spoonamore?' Last Thursday, on the
boulevard. You were riding bicycle"
Chicago Tribune.
What did the stranger say when you
gave him the bill:" Walter-Such mon
strous prices he never saw; we were
ar abominable gang Of thieves. Hotel
keeper-Good! SO he didn't become
abusive, then?-Fliegende Blaetter.
Wardpull-I believe 1t would be
good idea to nominate Bzskpxski. He's
a mighty good man. Heclah-Oh. he's
a good man all right, but how could we
ever get up a campaign yen on such
name as that?-Indianapolls Journal
Mistress Ito servant looking for
place. Why don't you show your book
Of references? Servant-Because l 10
not wish to reflect on the character OF
the employers who change their ser
vantsevery acknowledgements niae''
ter.
Tyre-Bilkins and his wife nave
bought a bicycle built for two hluer-
All. Riding tandem. ehY Iyre-N ell
judging from their webbing perform
ance yesterday, l should say they were
just riding at random-fhiiaueipn''
North American.
Here comes that Miss Fhghty Win
her loud skirt. The hateful thing'
Il don't see anything loud about neI
skirt" Heavens! Can't you near 'n MAJ
rustleY" Christmas would give slV
extra for rustic In skirt IKE 'n"''
San Francisco Wave
Kate-Mame Carson Is terribly nlasn-
ed ON Charley Sweetser. Edith " nas
makes you think sog kate-Why' ne
has been three weeks trying TO teach
her to ride a wheel and she ooesn
make the least progress. 1 ne very ~
slant he lets go OF her sne l"iis oii
Boston Transcript
well, after dinner Boresome toio a
story about his exploits In Africa anu
then one about an Irishman he met ~
Switzerland" But thought you were
not at the banquet" NOR was l a.
this particular one. but have attenuee
sixteen others where Boresome to'o
these stories y vvssh,ugton Times.