Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1896-05-23
AN EDITORIAL DUEL.
The Ending Not as DisastrOus as at
First Seemed PrOba Bile.

The old editor had the inside track, and
was doing the talking.
Il never had more than one duel" he
began.
You speak as If one were not enogh,"
interrupted listener.
1T was ample sutficie1.cy," continued
the editor with a smile. Il was at the
time of its occurrence twenty-five years of
age, ard the editor Of the Smugville VIM
dica tor. / was also a hot-headed youth
with yearn for gore and glory. In the
county adjoining was a iCathesome con-
temporary of mine, built on about the
same lines 1 was. and it wasn't more than
year after We had been contemporaries
until we We're in fine row He would
write scathinS editorials. anG SO would l.
and finally we dropped our pens and took
up pistols. That is. We agreed to fight a
duel
Fortunately for Us we had friends who
We're more sensible than we We're, who
took charge of all the arrar gements for
the bloody ARRAY. 1t was decided by them
that the duel should take place, and that
we should fire two shots at each other the
weapons being double barrel shotguns, and
the distance ten PAGES That suited us eX-
actly, for We Were extremely blcod-thirsty
and wanted each others gore in large
quantities. The fight was to take place at
y O'Clock in the morning, in a secluded
spot. and we We're there promptly with our
seconds. Our Instructions were to fire the
first shot after counting three and if one
or both survived another shot might be
fired as quickly as the principal could get
his gun ready.
That made it regular rough-a nd tum-
BILE for half the fight. and also made it
more interesting. 1t isn't necessary for me
to go into details of what / thought lust
before the battle, MOTHER suffice it to say
L thought writing scathirg editorials was
preferable to shotguns at 6 am. However,
We Kept our nerve and took our places
or h1f iy1nc Il h;,,lr
business. for We took aim right at each
other. Then came the counting. and final
ly the deciding three, and bang went
both guns at once. 1 felt as if had
caught an entire car load of shot from my
face down, and l tumbled over on the
grass. What had become of my opponent
did not greatly concern me at that supreme
moment, for l was wondering why L was
not dead.
I'm half minute the doctor was feel
Ing me. and after a minute or two more
he said l hao been miraculously saved
and pulled me to my feet. Evidently my
opponent mad also been mraculously saved
for ne was standing about ten feet away
from me with his doctor, and the sight he
presented made me forget all about the
duel, and break Into coars OF laughter |
appeared to have the same effect on him.
for he began laughing at me. Then we
both got mad and in five minutes we had
licked seconds, doctors and everybody else
on hand and run them clean out of tn.
woods.
This being accomplished we shook
hands and took a look at ourselves in
glass, which had evidently been brought
for our benefit. Permit me to omit an
elaborate description of what we looked
like Those COMPOUNDED secCI DIS had load
ed our guns to the muZzle with printers
ink, and the way 1t was splattered over
us was enough to have made us laugh at
first, and then to lick the crowd that put
the job up on us. However. We had show
ed we had sand, and the jokers kept in
hiding until We announced in our re-
speCtive papers that all was forgiven, and
the Ratchet was dead and hurled That
was my only duel" concluded the editor
and l am extremely glad that the guns
We're loaded with ink instead of buck