davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
SOME LOVELY FALLACiES.

a Favorite Argument of the Gold standard
Advocates Meets u Serious Snag.
When the advocate of the single gold
standard is asked to explain why
wheat, cotton and other products as
we'll as silver have fallen so in value,
he replies that the production has
greatly increased. To bear himself
out he shows that the cotton crop has
been growing larger and larger, that
the wheat crop has increased and that
silver production has doubled in the
last 20 years.
But very slight investigation will
show that there are cracks in this the
ory.' In the first place, there has been
no phenomenal increase in wheat
growing, and the crop of the world
averages only about a bushel and 3
half to each inhabitant of our planet,
which is a very moderate allowance
for year. To claim that there is an
over.production is to assert that money
can be made on wheat only when the
supply is so scanty that starvation is
threatened. So far as cotton is con-
cerned, it may be true that there is oc-
casionally a slight over-production,
but it is not sufficient to cut the value
population has been going right ahead
at the same time, and the savages are
beginning to accustom themselves to
shirts, the reduction should have been
gradual and slight.
Silver's price has been cut in two
since the act of demonstration in 1878,
and it is said to be due to overproduc-
ton, not to demonstration. In other
words, the goldolaters claim that if
silver had been freely coined right
along. it's value would have fallen just
the same. In 4S years the west has
produced fully s., 600, 600, 900 of gold
and 81, $50, 600, 900 of silver, yet gold has
maintained, even increased, its value,
while silver has declined. Here the
production theory meets with a snag.
In 1878, according to the director of
the mint. the worlds gold production
was S97, 500, 900, while the estimate for
1896 is SEQ. 900. 600. The gold produc-
tion in ~ years has n ore than doubled.
1t has increased 1875 per cent. The
conclusion is unacceptable that the
value of gold has been kept up because
of free coinage, and that silver has
fallen because il has not had the adj
vantage of free coinage. Certainly, if
there were anything in the gold theory
that free coinage cannot affect value,
and that great increase in production
is sure to lower price, then the phe-
nomenal increase of I25 per cent. in
the production of the yellow metal
ought to have sent the price of it down
to acknowledgements Commercial-Ap-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
..MILL sllvan WIN p.


an E1glish Authority Admits H win Give
De the Markets OF the World.
An editorial in the London Com
Eaerce. a recognized trade authority,
champion of mononetallism for En-
gland, and claiming the largest circu-
lation in the world, has caused con-
siderable talk among Cincinnati busi-
ness men From It the following ex.
tract is taken:
Leaving the question of tariffs for
q moment, let us consider what a BIZ
metallist America will mean for us.
In the first place it will mean an inn
mediate premium upon United States
exports. The effect of coming silver
at the proposed ratio would, in all
proba bility, bring about q great
boom in manufactures of all kinds.
Wages might rise considera bly, but the
experience of other countries goes to
show that they would not rise in pro-
portion to the advantage which ex-
porters would derive who sent their
goods to gold-using country, to-wit.
the United Kingdom. The manufac-
turers of the states would not be quite
in the same position of vantage as the
agriculturists of the Argentine, nor
have sufficient leverage over the man.
ufacturers here to turn the scale in
every trade where now there is a doubt
which way the market trends. In tin
plates many kinds of machinery, in
Guiding some of the very heaviest; in
leather, and in many sundry manu-
features where the British producer
can with difficulty hold his own, the
effect of the change would be decisive.
Then this policy is also bride to the
farmers. American dead meat-live
cattle being prohibited-wheata and all
farm produce suita BILE for expectation
would come over in greatly augmented
quantities, for the difference in the eX-
change would mean such an addition of
profit that an immense stimulus would
be given all along the line. As to silver
mining, all that can be said is that
there would be a rush. The dimen-
sions of the movement would depend
upon many things impossible TO fore
see. These anticipations of what has
become possible are not, be it remem-
bered, based on mere theory. We
know already too we'll what to expect
from foreign traders in a country
where silver is the standard currency.
India, Japan and Argentina are all
bearing witness to the insidious effect
on British trade of conditions now in
perspective in the United States, Mean
time, we cannot too soon face the possi-
bilities and realize the true significance
of the position as it is.
Among our local business men this
is considered a substantial acknowl-
edgement that free silver coinage at a
ratio of sixteen to one with gold would
give us the markets of the world, both
for our manufactures and our agr;-
cultural products h Cincinnati En-
r1l1irar
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
Bad Manners.

The girl who misbehaves in publia
displays bad manners and calls atteE-
ton TO the fact that neither her hea2
nor her heart has been trained at home.
The other evening a girl of Is came to
an entertainment accompanied by two
boys of about her own age and her
mother. The young girl sat between
the two young men. 1t was evident
that she was in state of mental ella
ton. and believed that the dual at
tendance was a mark of her great at
tractiveness. She carried on a run
ming conversation with her escorts thai
compelled one man to leave his seat
and go farther back in order to hea:
the lecturer, and subjected her neigh
bors to great discomfort and annoy
ance. What can be done to rouse moth
ers to train their daughters to avoid
prominence in public? What can be
said to the girls of this country that
will make them see the absolute bad
manners of dressing or acting in pub
lie in a way which reflects on their
training? No man of nice instincts is
attracted by a girl whose manners are
the expression of crude conceptions OF
what is itting.-Outlook.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06

dent Cleveland was elected in 1899 de.
clared unequiyocally for bimetallism
and the free coinage Of both metals
without discrimination or charge for
mintage, and the bin repeating the
purchasing clause of the sherman
act contains similar pledge. solemnly
enacted by congress and signed by
President Cleveland. With what grace.
then, can the boiling democratic
organs ask their readers to believe that
free coinage is q new heresy which de-
cent democrats cannot accept? It is
the single gold standard which is
new thing in our financial policy, and
q thing which has never been recog-
nized in the platform of any political
party in this country until the money
power forced it into the financial plank
recently adopted at st. Louis against
the wish and viii of Maj. Mckinley
and his most friendly supporters
Denver Renublican
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
NOT A NEW THING.

The Platform Upon Which President Glove
land Was Last Elected Declared UneQuiv-
ocally for Silver.
One would think, to see some of the
nysterical editorials in the metropol-
itan newspapers of the east, that the
free coinage policy so boldly and
clearly enunciated in the Chicago plat
form is something entirely new in this
country, but that is not the case. As
long ago as 1877 Maj. Mckinley, the
present repu blican nominee for presi-
dent. voted, as member of the house,
for the Bland bill, which provided for
the free and unlimited coinage of
silver and gold at the ratio of sixteen
to one. That bill passed the house by
good deal more than two-thirds
majority, and it would have passed
the senate by an equally large vote if
Senator Allison and few other trick
sters and trimners had not betrayed
the interests of the country by chang
ing it into a limited coinage act
on the purchase plan. Since that time
there has never been 3 congress in
which large majority of the demo-
Gratis in both senate and house would
not have voted for free coinage at the
ratio of sixteen to one, and it is a mat
ter of Official record that in almost all
the congresses held in the meantime .
large majority of the democrats in
both houses did vote for such > meas
uEe. The platform on which Presi-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
NOT A TRAVELLER.
A Living Toad That Didn't Travel SIX
Inches for Thousands OF Years.

A Living Toad That Didn't Travel SIX
Inches for Thousands of Years.
In the mining district, some threa
miles from this city, there has just been
made most novel, and, viewed from a
scientific standpoint, a most interest
ing and valuable discovery. Half way
Up the mountain prospector was
working in a six-foot ledge Of calcareous
rock, bearing every evidence of the sill
urian age. He had progressed fully five
feet into the ledge when a blow of the
sledge revealed to his astonished gaze
live toad snugly esconced in cavity in
the solid rock about the size of quart
cup. The sides of this cavity we're per.
fectly smooth and bore no evidence OF
crack, seam, or crevice.
The toad's position was about equally
distant from the upper and lower sur.
face of the ledge. Above the ledge is
stratum of pure white sandstone, three
feet thick; and Immediately over this
layer of soil, out of which tower great
oak trees, two feet in diameter.
The find was made by ID. ID. Field,
formerly of Topeka, Kan, and an ex-
perienced miner, who has for some
months been prospecting in the min
eral region in this vicinity. Asked as to
the accuracy of the above account, Mr..
Field signified his willingness to at
tach his signature thereto under oath.
The mayor or any prominent citizen of
Eureka Springs will vouch for any
statement he may make, and any num-
Der of Topeka people will testify to his
reputation for truth and veracity.
When first exhumed from his adj
amantine tomb the toad's eyes were
closed and there was little manifesto
ton Of life, other than a palpitating
motion of the throat. Shortly after his
advent he opened one eye and began TO
move his front legs. Gradually his.
stiffened members regained their
strength, until now he is a decidedly
lively batrachian. He refuses all food,
however, and has forgotten, If he ever
knew. the art of hopping. But he is an
expert crawler. and seeks, and evident
ly enjoys, the light of which he so long
had been deprived.
Time, though, has set lightly on his
batrachian brow. He seems to appreci-
ate, too, the Importance and privileges
which attach to great age, and moves
about with silemn and arrogant mien.
but when you scratch his sides with
lead pencil, he readily yields to the se
ductive sensation, places one front foot
on his heart or stomach, and, as he
cocks one eye up ecstatically, seems so
say: "ohl IL you would only make 1t
my back" Unlike Shakespeare's toad.
he does not sweat venom nor moisture
Of any kind; his color, lurid copper
hue, further marks his personality as
distinctive from any bntrachian yet
found.
Some years ago, near Peoria, ILL.,, n
live toad was discovered in sub-car-
koniferous formation under similar
conditions, except that it was of a pale
safe color. Mr.. Field will endeavor ia
preserve the life of his little ward, and
il will probably be sent to the Smith.
sonian institution.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
CHRONIC Discomfort.
II Robs Life of Hair the Good Tbsr. 7

II Robs Life OF Half the Good Thar. 7,
in It
It is trlte to say that we miss half of
the good of life by discomfort with our
surroundings. But, although trite, we
pay SO little attention TO the truth of
the statement that we still go on MAX
ing the same error, and sslook before and
after and long for what is not"
Says Charles Baudelaire: This life
is hospital where every patient is pos
sesSed with the desire to change his he'd.
This one would prefer to suffer before
the stove. and that other thinks he
would recover by the window
The probabilities are that the malady
of discomfort would follow the so-caIled
patient wherever he might be situated.
He. like the heroine of Mrs. Whitnev's
Hitherto, is always holding up his soul
with u thorn in it." Or, if the prick is
not in his soul, it is in his lot in life. and
he makes himself and his friends mis-
cradle by eNpatidtion upon IT. Such a
person is the most wearing COMPANION
in the world, for he makes constant
drain upon our sympathies. And the
amusing part of it all is that when .his
present time over which he makes so
much moan shall have become the past.
he will then call it the happy past"
and heave sigh at the thought that it
cannot return. Thus he darkens all his
pathway through life with foolish dis
content, while 1.-The beautiful around
him lying" is unnoticed. An excellent
cure for this disease of discomfort is
for man severely and mercilessly to
examine himself and ask why he should
be particularly blessed above others,
what especial virtue he possesses that
should call down upon his head showers
of blessings. If he is frank he will ac-
knowledge that so deep-seated is his
complaint that he would find some
cause for grievance against such show
ers. For the person who recognizes his
falling and is anxious to cure himself
of it. good practice is that of attempt
ing to count the negative Inercies-the
immunities from pain. sorrow, illness
and bereavement. He will be speedily
overwhelmed, first, with realization
of his blessings, and next, if he be good
for anything, with shame that he could
ever have been discontinued. Morbid
unhappiness is habit, and a wicked
one, and all tendencies toward it should
be vigorously checked from infancy to
old age. Once let it take root, and it
grows with fungus-like rapidity.-Har
per's Bazaar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
.oeEYED ORDERS TO THE LETTER
Muggins Told the EngIIshman to Dig Post
Holes and He Did.

Muggins Told the EngIIshman to Dig Post
Holes and He Did.
Il once knew q man named Muggins
who was a queer sort of person." said
Congressman Mondell, of Wyoming,
land 1 always thought good deal of
him. Once he hired an Englishman to
work on his ranch. But when they gave
him trial it turned out that he couldn't
ride nor rope.
:" johnny, said Muggins, kin yer dig
post holes?'
Johnny thought he could, so Mug
gins sets him to work making holes in
the ground. He draws a straight line
for him and then he sits down at one
emu and tells Johnny to go ahead.
You just dig post holes, Johnny,
along this line until tells yer to stop.
Amt just made up my mind how far
want yer to go. But I'll tell yer
Johnny digs post holes, and Mug
gins goes out every day to see how he
is getting along. But in a few days
he gets call to attend court in Chey-
.enne and stays away two months. When
he comes back he asks:
'Wharabouts is that are young
BEitisher that was here when left?'
"'Oh, is it Johnny you mean?
THAT same critter,' says Muggins.
H'Oh, why, Johnny, he left here about
two months ago with six months pro-
visions and Il pack horse, and said you
TOLD him to do something or other. He
hasn't showed up since
''Muggins threw his leg over the back
Of cow pony, with a grim expression
and growl and began to follow john
1y's trail by the post holes. By night
he catches up with him. There was
Johnny with his pack horse and his pro-
visions in camp.
what be yer doin' here?' said Mug
gins.
BLESS me heyes, Mr.. Muggins, but
I'm glad to see you!' shouts the English
man. 'Ow long, sir, are ye goin' TO keep
me a-diggin' these bloody post 'oles"
How long?' shouted bfuggins. Ye
plagued fool, you're three miles acrost
the county line now. Pack up and
come home Washington Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
HEART OF THE WORLD.
BY H. RIDER HAooARD.
4 etz1nse Story, Taken From 9 Manuscript Ne
gueathed By an Old Mexicau Indian to His
Fsfend and Courade, an English.
man Named Jones.
Copyrighted. 1884. by H Rider Hassara
CHATTER xuI-coyTrx17rn

CHAPTER XTL-CoSTTSuEp
Eow good it is to taste tobacco
ngaia, he said, as Maya went. $40 Won
know, friend, it seems to me that ZibaI-
bay has charged. never was a great
admirer of his character, but perhaps
do not understand it"
DO You not, senior? I think that I
DO. Like some Christian priests the
man Is q fanatic, and, like myself. a
dreamer. Also he is full of ambition
and tyrannical, one who will spare
neither himself nor others where he has
an end to gain.
The object of his mission, and, in
deed, of his life, is TO build up the fall
Ism empire of the City of the Heart. In
ohort. senior, though 1 do not believe
II his gods, in Zibalbay's visions do
believe, seeing that they have led him
TO nee, whose aim is his aim, and'that
neither OF US can succeed without the
other"
''Why not?"
Because need wealth and he needs
men, and if he will give me the wealth
L can give him men IN thousands"
Il hear" answered the senior 1T
sounds simple enough, but perhaps You
will both of you find that there are
difficulties in the way. What l do not
understand, chowever, is what part
maya and are to play IN this grand
affair, who are not anxious to regen-
crate a race or build up an empire. l
suppose that we are only spectators of
the game"
How can that be, -enor, when she is
Lady of the Heart and heiress to her
father, and when," added, dropping
my voice. you and she have grown so
dear to one another.
No, no, senior, you Cannot be left out
OF this game: you are too deep in it al
ready. At present he is well disposed
toward you, because h. thinks that the
oracle may declare you to be the son of
Quetzal through whom his people shall
be redeemed. But be warned, senior,
for if he comes to know that you are not
the man, then he will sweep you aside
as of small account and you may bid
farewell to the Lady of the Heart
81 will MT do that while l live" he
answered quietly.
mo, senior, perhaps .aot while you
live, but those who stand in the path of
kings do not live long. Stu, though
there IL cause to be cautious, there is
no cause to be downhenrted."
"At any rate, we will stand together, y
said the senior. And nov, as there is
no Use talking of the future, 1 think
that we had better go to bed On one
thing, however, you may be certain,
unless she dies or I die, ! mean to
marry Maya"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
Variation.

The little boy whose head has ten
dency to bulge out at the top like n
mushroom, owing, as his parents truly
believe, to the extraordinary amount OF
knowledge it contains. was gazing
gravely at his father who was making
his breakfast of ice water.
People change great deal when
they grow up, don't they?0 the boy oh.
served.
"Of course" his mother answered.
'tAnd yet they're very much the same,
after all" he continued, musingly.
~What are you TALKING about?"
@About grown men and boys. When
boy goes out and cats whatever no
wants and pays no attention to what
anybody says the next day he has
stomach ache"
''Ve-y often"
1'And when grown man goes out to
a banquet, the only difference is that the
next morning he has headache. The
ache seems to move around, but it's
there, just the same."-Detroit Free
Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
PITH AND POINT.


-Adolphus ~ wonder II Miss
Sharpe is gnying me. or il she is really
gone on me?n Theodore ny, what
did she say?s Adolphus-. She said /
would always be fresh in her memory.n
Boston Transcript.
- shall have to give up going on
the stage" ssWhy so2" My hair is
coming out in handfuls.a II don't sea
what Pretty soon my trainer win
be unable to drag me about the floor. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
-"Oh, mamma, cried little Frances,
'there are two new dear little kittens
in box down in the laundry with the
cid cat" "Are there, dear?" "Yes,
mamma, and this years style Of kit
tens is black, trimmed with white
Harper's Bazaar.
perhaps, you can guess my mis-
sion,. said the reporter, after the states
man had read the proffered card. II
have called to ascertain what sort OF
money you are in favor Of" The states
man opened the door, looked out, closed
the door again, locked it, pulled down
the windows and whispered in the ear
of the waiting newspaper man: Cam
paign funds. "-Cincinnat Enquirer.
Why He Regretted.-An old Scotch.
man who had been a long time in the
colonies paid visit to his native glen
and, meeting an old schoolfellow, they
sat down to have chat about old times
and old acquaintances. In the course
of the conversation the stranger hap
pened to ask about a certain Geordie
Mckay. Ties dead lang ago." said his
friend, IAN I'll never cease regrettin'
him as lang as live" Dear me! Had
you such great respect for him as
that?' INA, ma! Itwasna' on'y respec'
l had for himself, but married hif
widow Ss--Cincinnati EnoOirer
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
The Mexiean Dollar.

The gold standard men point TO the
fact that United States dollar will
buy two Mexican dollars rs an argu-
ment in their favor, bnt they fall
down when they undertake to make
the application. That fact only proves
what the silver men have insisted
upon all the time. that there is moth
ing quite so high-priced and hard to
get as the United States dollar. It
will buy twice as much wheat, twice
as much oats, corn, cotton and COW as
it ought to buy. and twice as much as
it bought few years ago.-Clay Cen.
ter (Kan. Dispatch.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
Book Muslin Gowns.

sBook muslin" the old-fashjoneo
came for a summer textile once en-
blemetic of dainty girlhood, has not
been used for gowns for SO long time
that it comes TO us almost as a novel ma
terial. 1t is a sheer and delicate fabric.
and where economy and durability are
concerned il outlasts half dozen tulle,
chiffon. or mousselaine de sole gowns
and even those of silk of mediocre quail
ity. A white embroidered book muslin
dress is really a summer standby, as
with occasional pressing and with re
rewed laees and ribbons it can do
power of duty as dressy toilet. The
cleaners. not the laundry woma7's. art
can restore it, when soiled. to almost its
original crispness and freshness--S4
L.ouss Republic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
noaa Nnt Favor g,laasna.

Free coinage Is not a favor TO any
one class. It is decidedly the opposite
of . favor to class. Free coinage
viii not help the owner of silver par
ticularly. It would put stop TO the
government helping the owner of gold.
That is the thing to bear In mind, and
that is the thing that the cleavage OF
sentiment will presently raise above
controversy. Detroit Tribune tRepA :.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
DIdin,f Wnnf KIll.

A little fellow who lives near as went
into shop some weeks ago to buy pair
of gloves. The shopman stared at his
juvenile customer and asked him what
size he took. The yonngster promptly
informed him.
do you want kid gloves, my boy?''
asked the shopman.
kid gloves" CALCULATED his customer.
~Tm not kid now. want grown up
onesl'-Town and Country Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1896-08-06
Programmes OF the Gold Power.

Conditions are not so bad as they can
be made. The gold standard has not
yet done its worst. Convert the re-
manning greenbacks and treasury
notes into bonds. and take the legal
tender from silver, and then the bot
tom will be reached. And this is the
programme of the gold power. 1t will
be carried out If the advocates of the
gold standard get the president and
cnn uress -Exchanpe.