The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1896-03-09
WITH A LAUGH IN EACH.


Currans ruling passion was his joke
| and it was strong il not in death, ut least
| in his last Illness. One morning his ply
| sician observed that he seemed to 'coush
with more difficulty" says the Green Bag;
| THAT is rather surprising" answered
| Curran. 'for have been practicing all
night"
While thus lying i'll Curran was visited
/ by a friend, Father O'leary, who also
| loved his joke.
81 wish OLeary," said Curran to him.
abruptly that you had the keys to
| heaven
| because you could let me in." said the
facctiouS counsellor.
at would be much better for you, Cur
| ran said the good-humored priest, that
| ! had the keys of the other place, because
| | could then let yOu out"
-:lI:-
| 81 have been told" said Mr.. Dubois.
watching the hammer in the roll
ing mill, that a good Zimmerman can
break the crystal of Il watch with that
thirty-ton hammer"
| Yes" said the Zimmerman. cit can
| be done"
boise, eagerly, feeling in his watch pock-
81 can do it. sir replied the man.
| And will you?" replied Mr.. Dubois.
| drawing ont his watch. "Come, ! am
! anxious to see ii tried"
| lie laid his watch on the great anvil
| plate. The hammer rose to its full height
and the next instant all its pohderous
| weight. with "A crushing force which
| shook he ground for an acre round. came
| down on the watch. says London Tid-
Bits.
| '''rhere. sir" said the man. "if Won
| don't believe that crystal is broken jus I
! step down and you can see ii sticking TO
| the hammer
Mr.. Dubois swallowed Il whole mouthful
Of Jumps and gasped before he could
| speak.
But I forgot to say" he exclaimed.
| that it was to break the crystal without
| injnrinS the watch"
| "Oh. yes" said the Zimmerman. 'Yes,
I know. ! have heard that rubbish my
SELF
! Miss Jackson" he began. as he re-
| moved his hat and scraped his foot as they
met on the street IL done hab de happy
facility 70 meet np wild yo' de odder night
| at de cake-walk."
"Yes. s;ih" she softly replied
| "Wha; first distracted my attenshun 20
| yo' was yo'r purtineSs, h" continued.
"It was de gineraT ouinyun dat yo was
| de handsomest gal in de hall. In fact. yo'
| outshone de shiniest oh dat vast aggre-
| CATION oh sinners
| She bowed her thanks.
| what next distracted my attenshun was
yo'r clothes an style. one glance prog
| nosticated de fact dat yo' was IA bO'n
lady. felt dat me an yo' was two
eagles 'mong Il lot oh crows. Does yo'
| anticipate de suit of clothes | had on da I
| night? Made TO order. and cost me seben
| dollars. Coat-tails de reg'lar New York
droop an dat celluloid collah jest frowned
| all de mashers down. More dan 100 pus-
| sons called me a swell
| She bowed again. says the Lelvenworth h
| Times.
| perhaps yo' percolated de remem-
| brance dat ! squoze yo'r hand. Miss Jack
| son, an yo' must have observed dat II
| was my intenshun to ambulate a few re-
| marks when interrupted b. dat very COM
mon an undistinguished pusson known
| IS----'
"My husband, sah" she icily interrupt
| ed
"Fo' de Lawd. Miss Jackson, but yo'
| aint done married to Moses Phillips?'
| ''rwO weeks ago. sah.'
"An' yo' amt Miss Jackson no mo? ?''
| NO mo-. sab"
| "Huh! scuse me, please. Reckon
| made q mistake. | see now whar it was.
| | got yo' mixed up wild Evangeline
| Thompson. dat putty. stylish young lady
dat was de belle oh de occasion an called
fo'th de undisgused 2dmiiltion oh de. gi-
| gantic assemblage Yes. ! recOllect yo'
| yo' had a bombaZine dress dat blonged to
| Nose Phillips an people was sayn' dat
| Yo was walkin' around on lie elbow OF
| yo'r grandmother an dat Moses done
| had q par OBJ trousers made out OBJ a
blanket. Good day, Mrs. Phillips. 'Scuse
| my bein' mistoOk.'
| piann ptu har Cna,o,,,,