Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1896-12-10

dsHlnStOn star.
He-"Is anything wanting n
your happiness complete, nv d0ons
Shelves; about fourteen Yards
silk at $6 a yard."-Yonkers Statesm,~
Mr.. Poorly-This ere walvn fall dor,
eff We don't fix it; tn cracks ara oro.
nous. Landlord-All right. III hor,
1t papered at once.-Atlanta Copstl,u
ton.
Maui Muffett says that the ago q,
chivalry has passed" 81 guess ,n'
means she has passed the ace wbos
she may expect any"-IndlonanoT.
Journal.
Mamma-"Johnny, | fear Won wo,,
not at school yesterday" Jobnnv-
HIN! I'll bet the teacher told Won
woman never can keep a secret"-Bos
ton Transcript.
Miriam-"Don't you think nv now
hat is a poem, Ned?" Ned (criticallv,-
Prom the height, dear, should com.
pare it instead to a short storyw-
Spare Moments.
Mabel has a lot of sense" "Hov
does she show it," "She never per.
mits herself to appear more intelli.
gent than the man who is talking to
her."-Chicago Record.
Well-meaning man has seldom said
The thing precisely that he ought.
He sights her dainty homemade bread
And suavely ~flatters what she bought.
Washington Star.
Crawford-"How is it that the JAM.
tor of a fiat Is such an autocrat?" Grim.
shawl suppose it's because wher
ever he goes he generally gets in on the
ground floor."-Judge.
II feel" said the clock that had
ceased to tick, like the victim of a
bicycle collision" 'How is thatf'
asked the watch. run down."-Phil.
adelphia North American.
Mrs. Troubles-"When we were first
married, Harry, you never uttered a
complaint" Mr.. T.-"When we were
first married, Jane, l had cash enough
to employ n cook."-Pittsburg Chron-
icle-Telegraph.
First Suburbanite-'That new cook
l got yesterday was uneasy all the
way out from town." Second Suburb
anite-"What was the matterT First
Suburbanite-"I forgot to buy her a re-
turn ticket Judge.
Dobson-"Did old Money Bags take
1t good-naturedly when you asked him
for the hand of his daughter Hob
son-"Good-naturedly? Oh, yes; he
said 'Ha, ha, ha!"-New York Com
mercial Advertiser.
Wheel and the world wheels with you;
Walk and you walk alone;
Ware lest a scorcher shall come up De
hind
And knock you as cold as a stone.
Chicago Record.
Il am a plain man." said Bloughiy.
land l believe in being practical l
love you, and I want you to be my
wife" "Well," replied the fair one
how much are you worthE-Phiia
delphia North-American.
Mrs. Mimms-George, are you sure
you locked up the house carefuiiy'
Mimms-By ,jove, l cant remember
about the front door. Mrs. Mimms-
Never mind the front door. How apou
the coal bin?-Cleveland Plain Dealer
"Golng to do anything interesting
this Thanksgiving, BagsbyE' Yes
I've persuaded my wife not to m'i'
all our relatives to dinner, just to SCI
If some of them won't have origlnaiit!
enough to invite us."-Chicago Recoru
Papa Blunt like to argue VIII
that young Tomlins. Sweetest Susa'
I hope you find him logical papa
"Why, my childT" Because thinl
he's the logical candidate for your son
in-law, papa."-Cleveland Plain Deal
er.
Freshly-Well, l captured a HTS
prize at the horse show yesterday,
Sagely-Didn't know you had any an
mails entered. FRESHLY hadn't Du
[ proposed to Miss Cash and was a,
cepted.-New York Commercial Az
vertiser.
Marie-I suppose that your frien,
the count, has become greatly attnci
ed here in New York during his SUI!
Nimms-No, he hasn't been as yet d
thoug' all his trunks have, his lan'
lord tells me.-New York Evenln
Journal.
Hell thought you said your low II
me was as strong as iron and as w
as steel; pray, how do you account !,
your umerou flirtations? SLEEVE
you see, the iron and steel works NV
shut down for the ~present.-up