The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1896-06-12
THE VALUE or POLITENESS

mere is popular Dellel tudt l'olltt-
ness, or good manners, used as its SYM
nonym, may be easily taught and
easily learned; is, in fact, an almost
necessary result Of education. The
basis of true politness, it is held, is
kindliness and good intent; and us
most people, and particularly most
children, are kind at heart, politeness
develops naturally with the growth of
intelligence. 1t may deteriorate and
become merely formal and conven-
tional, but as its chief requisite is
regard for and Difference to the weak.
its acquisition must III the first instance
cone easily to most men. And yet
the fact remains that real politeness
is very difficult thing to teach and
to acquire where there is not a natural
aptitude for it: that a great many ex-
cellent people lack such aptitude, and
that politeness is not based altogher
OH kindness and kindly intent.
The child learns good manners far
more easily at home than at school.
At school there is apt 70 be little re-
gard for the weak, and far less respect
for women than is shown IN the do
nestle circle. Taken away from
home surroundings, and thrown into
daily association with all sorts of com
panions, the tendency Of the scholar
is to sc the politeness he learned at
home. In any event the courtesy he
acquires is too likely to be only SIX in
deep, pcliteness being in nowise nee
essary development of education.
Moreover, many persons are incapable
Of acquiring more than the thnnest
colting of good manners. J h soil Is
too sterile for them to take root Po-
likeness must be natural or artificial,
and where it is not the former, the
rough grain always shows through
the varnish. Under the least provo
cation the thin coating scales off. 1t
is either company manners vii many
men, or no manners at all. And they
are neither unkind nor evil-mlnded
people. Indeed, many of those whose
manners are the most purely artificial
are among the most sincere and ben
evolent Of mankind. They are simply
not naturally polite, and the con.
seriousness that they are not, and that
they wear their artificial manners awk-
wardly, makes them all the more rug
ged and constrained. The truth is
that the really polite man, in the
s'nse Of being well hammered, is, like
the poet, born not make 1t is as i'm.
possible for him to be discourteous
and rude as it Is for another man, who
may be far more kindly and better
tempered, to be courteous and polite.
Kindness and kindly intent, then,
are not the only basis of true polite
ness. Something else is expressed by
it, that Is, the common desire to dim
mish the friction of life. Personal
contact is so close that the eccentriei
ties and aggressions of men, if not
checked by some conventional rules
of behavior, would keep the world in
perpetual turmoil. So among all
races, and even among the most prim-
tive tribes, usages and conventions
have been adopted regulating the re-
lations of men; and the more highly
organized society becomes, the more
polite, that is, considerate, these OBJ
servances are. 1t has been that the
more careful people are to save their
nelghbor's face, the easier and pleasan-
anter life is. The more politeness is
practised, the less humiliation and
misery there is in the world, and the
more smoothly society runs along.
Courtesy and good manners are the
great lubricant of existence. They do
not always indicate the real character
of the pers on who wears them. But
they do largely make the man as he
is known to his fellows, and are. gen
orally speaking, Of far more value to
him in his relations with an everyday
world than many other more subs,an-
tial qualities. No man who wishes to
be successful and popular can afford
to neglect politeness. And in its cul-
tivation much may be learnd from
the older civilizations.