The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1896-11-14
4 TALKING UNITED STATES. :
A Small Boy Enlightens His Teacher on
the Real Vernacular.

A Small Boy Enlightens His Teacher on
the Real Vernacu1ar.
In four-roomed house in q short
thoroughfare in the most populous part
of the west side live "Jamesy" and his
family. His family consists of a father
and mother, and younger brother and
younger sister. Although "Jamesy,"
as the. eldest child, is perhaps the most
important member of the family, he
is less than seven years old, and not
very large for his age. The greater
portion of his brief life has been spent
on the sidewalk, where he learned to
fight his own battles and take a few
hard knocks without grieving. His
father and mother are Woodworking
people, but they have been SO busy for
two or three years getting soup bones
and firewood TO throw at the wolf that
"Jamesy's'' education has been neg
lected. The hoy learned many things,
but he didn't get them out of n primer.
For two months he had been ''hustlin'
papers, intil truart inspector found
him one day and took him home.
"Jamesys" mother was told that the
boy belonged in school, and that he
must be started in at once. She was
well-meanirg woman and agreed that
"Jamesy's" education should begin the
next morning.
The boy went to the schoolhouse half
determined to ''ducll" at recess, but the
teacher treated him SO kindly and there
was SO much of novelty in the show
that he decided to remain. lie soon
began to feel at home, and he scraped
up a whispering acquaintance with
small Jew boy at his right. The teach
er interested him greatly. He watched
her draw picture of a cube, and then
heard her read off a row of figures from
the blackboard, and he concluded that
she was the smartest person in the
world, except the man at the one cent
show who made beautiful colored
landscape while the orchestra played
one tune.
Toward the close of the morning ses-
sion the teacher said:
''Now, children, l am going to read to
you a little piece out of this book, and
| want you to listen very closely, so that
you can repeat it TO me when have
finished"
This aroused Jimmie. If there was
ANYTHING he delighted in it was repeat
ing, with sundry emphatic gestures, to
his younger brother at home accounts
IF the daring exploits of Tom Dalton
md Jesse James as he heard them from
the lips OF older boys. He was certain
lv interested, and if school was like
this he made up his mind to put up
with several disagreeable features and
-eturn the next forenoon. He straight
ened himself in his seat at the request
to ''sit erect" prepared to absorb every
word of the expected story.
The teacher said: ''Now, will read
this from this little book, and any of
you who wish to can repeat it to the
class in your own words. Don't try
to say it as 1 read it, but just as you
would say it." Jimmie's eyes grew big,
and he was all attention. The teacher
read this short lesson from the first
reader:
"See the COW! Is it not pretty cowP
Can the COW run? Yes, the COW can run.
Can the cow run as fast as the horse?
No, the cow cannot run as fast as the
horse"
"Criminy!" thought Jimmie, sis at
all? ATS dead easy" His hand was
up in twinkling, in imitation of sever
al others. His interested face caught
the teachers eye, and she said: "Well,
James, you may try it, but be careful
to get it right. You may stand up by
your seat"
"Jamsey" arose. Ordinarily he was
not bashful, but now his face was
flushed, and he was trembling with i'm
portance, as he said:
Get onto de cow. Amt she beaut?
C'n she git move on? Sure. C'n she
hump herself as fast as de horse? Nav,
she amt in it wild de horse, see!"
The teacher was overcome, but, never
theless, "Jamesy" was favorite from
that moment-Chicago Record.