The sun., 1896-10-26
DIR. PARKER'S FUNNY BOOK.
FUII OF MS HUMOR. THOUGH IT
MAKES READERS SOLEMN

Womnn Deeiincs = Prohered SesI
IospoS. Oct. l6.-All the world knows the
Rev Dr. Joseph Parker. pastor OF mo Lonuon
City Temple, or IL not, then 1t Is the woriu y
fault and not DR.. Parkers. Heis the laImege
NJ London a sort OF glorined TaImaEe-Rhu
Iondon esteems him accordingly Thore was
talk of draping the Mansion House In mourn
Ing. when. soon after Beechor's death. Dr.
Parker suddenly made up his MIND thst IL was
his duty to fll the vacancy in tho pulpit OF rly-
mouth Church. Beccher's soTrowing parish
toner's did not see the matter In the same nHhe
as did Dr. Parker, but what was their loss in
all these years has been Lohuohe h"'h' S'u
London is not ungrateful
Recently the pangs OF popular anxiety In this
,n.,ropolis over tho European crisis and other
threatening ills have been augmented by q new
war; Persistent reports that DR.. Parker
rould soon retire from the City Temple pulpit
have passed from lip to lip, and have car
ried chill dsmay into hundreds OF British
homes. When public apprehension could bear
the suspense no longer and DR.. Parker WAS be-
sourht to lay low the spectre, he repliea at nrst
in cruel enigmas. Finally he conceded the
m.agre assurance that he would not so
"this year" and threw out dark hints
of what nl.omen 1897 might bring forth.
Durine the few days which havo elapsed
toner's have been hoping for the best. but pre-
parinp for the worst Yesterday their fears
we're again excited by an apparently innocent
circumstance DR.. Parker published book.
II ia a remarkable book. After reading 1t. most
persons are unwilling to express any opinion
regarding what the author might or might not
do
The title OF the volume is Might Have
Been" II is supposed to be q funny book-not
the vulgar. uproarious sort, but full OF deli
cate. subtle humor that tickles the intellectual
palate and suggests the latest sauce piGttonte in
A Partisan menu. will not say word in dis
paraRement OF DR.. Parker rs a humorist, still
less would imply that his cloth carries with 1t
any disability in that direction. Ministers of
religion have been severely criticised in this
country within few days for venturng out
side their usual field Of effort. member Of
Lord Salisbury's Cabinet declared on public
platform this week: Il have every respect for
ministers OF religion in their proper place, but
know no more unsafe public guides on foreign
affairs, for they are governed BY sentiment, and
have no idea OF reason" But that has nothing
10 do with DR.. Parker's funny book. 1t shall
speak for itself without any characterization
from me.
First. 1t should be explained on behalf Of the
author that the book comprises series OF i'm
machine invented by himself and known MS
.the ,drenmograph." Everybody whom tho
world has known in the present generation,
from Lord Besconsfield to Henry Ward Beecher.
Is introduced. This. for instance. about Lord
Salisbury:
Lord Salisbury sent for me, He was very
pleasant. Parker" said he, drop in any time
rou are passing and take pot-luck." replied:
The sane TO you. and many OF them was
nervous. 1t was in the middle OF May. yet
of saying: i wish you happy New Year" |
ain The only Dissenting minister who is on heb
nobbing terms with a real Marquis This makes
have been asked to join the local teLnis club.
The clubbers did not name my blazing geniu-.
my unfathomabe eTudition. or my lovely dis
position; they remarked only on my friendly
relation to the Marquis. What is the chief end
Of man3 To know Marquis and giorfy him
forever.
OF course, Mr.. Gladstone comes next and to
this effect:
Been at Hawarden. Spent week with MIR.
Gladstone. We spoke new language each day,
huently beginning with Chinese. got up my
subjects. and TOOK good care always to start tho
conversation myself. 80 that | could extent
poriZe my boundiess knowledge. l well rernein-
Der beginning on the Round Towers of Antrim,
knowing how deeply he was interested in all
Irish questions. thought he would like TO
know something about the round towers. as
supposed hts studies had never taken him into
such subject. In polished Chinese descanted
on the three round lowers In Antrim. which de-
scribed IS maritime county, and even ven
tured to say that 1t was in the province OF
Ulster. | told him that one round tower at
eloquent N the three round towers. Dir. Glad
store listened intenly. SO ! felt | was making
moment, he briefly remarked: You have over
looked the fourth OF the Antrim towers only a
fragment IL Is true-near the old church of
Trummery." Imagine my modification!
Simply in order to be mercilessly fair I add
one more sample:
Ran down to Hughenden for few days to see
Ben Dis,aeli. thought this only fair. after
hOnoring MIR Gladstone with 10 much OF my
Taelt would have felt it II lie had known that
Lad spent 50 much time with Gladstone. |
as 10 floor the brilliant jew and set my con-
temptuors foot upon his white waistcoat. He
was strIkinG-iooking man, was Ben the brill
liant-rall. spare. larGe-eyed. and ringloted in a
email way. He seemed gratitied to sec me. l
got up my own genea!ogy. and put into his
served the right to hang ourselves II we felt 30
disposed: Manda-v!nus enim ballivo llbertatis
ggIsasa gTIsaIc,e qp2d r ad csri9s des &c Having
welcome. He said lie had respect tor the men
OF the Tyne, north and south. He asked me
how things were getting on At the Devils Water,
and | said. Pretty m!ddlln'; hoo's yersel?'
He seemed puzzled.
There are 300 or more pages of this sort of
thing. The same rich, subdued humor runs
through 1t all. An impression has been created
among the congregation at the City Temple that
tho pAstor mas oeen sadly overWorked and that
he needs long holiday.
There are lying imprisoned in two small
rooms In an English fortress at tho present
moment group OF fourteen men and women
who have been SO unfortunate as to incur the
greedy dispeasure OF tho British Government
The rooms are each only twelve feet square,
bare OF comforts. unsanitary. and obviously
oVercrowded. The occupants are kept thus
herded together under lock and key
aud carefully guarded. The chief victim OF
this ignomInious treatment is an individual
whose name was familiar in the worlds affairs
only short year ago He was then a reigning
sovereign, King, in fact. and the British
empire, having no greater ambition then In
hand, did him the honor to make war upon him.
The life of a Prince OF the blood was sacri-
nceo, and there were other losses in the mimic
campaign, but 1t was bloodless war, for not
shot was fired during tho two months or more
It lasted.
Ashanti was annexed to the British empire,
and King Prempeh was dethroned and taken
prisoner. But the real object of the expedition
was not accomplished. That object, in plain