The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1896-04-16
Madam RS English
IWritten for News HERALD by Sigel Roush.l


senlble in one capacity or another at the
Natioual Capital. The country's exten.
sive commercial and political relations
with foreign nations necessitates the
stationing at Washington Of small army
of ambassadors, ministers and consuls.
The presence of these foreign diplomats
in such numbers and variety often gives
rise to many amusing incidents.
To see assembled at the theatre or
orther place Of public concourse repre-.
sentatives of most of the worlds import
ant races is one of Washington's conven.
tional sights. Here they sit side by side.
each garbed in his native attire and
speaking his mother tongue. The olive.
skinned, almond.eyed celestial not in.
frequently shares box with one of the
Eultan's diplomats or Queen Victorias
monocled ENJOYS. The characteristic
head gear of the dark skinned Corean
may be remarked alongside the dainty
bonnet of an American belle.
At state dinners the representatives of
foreign courts commingle with the native
politicians in a manner, the incongruity
of which would provoke broad smile
on the face of every observer were the
occasion of a less formal nature. Imagine
the Chinese minister arrayed in all the
dazzling raiment and sparkling jewels
compatible with his high office-his long,
plated cue extending down his back to
his loose, silken over garment, his feet
encased in odd, highly ornamented san.
dals, shuffling along by the side of a
stately American dame in the silent,
motley procession to the dining room.
Perhaps the tiny, doll wife of the
Japanese minister is in the immediate
vicinity, clinging timidly to the arm,
which she can scarcely reach, of great,
brawny six.foot Congressman from the
West. An army officer follows, leading
the daughter of Sir Somebody, of Eng.
land, Count So.And So, of France, or
Baron Thing. .Am.Bob, of Germany. If
the latter, the army contingent probably
knows little or no German, and his fair
companion speaks very Indifferent Eng
lish, which leads to innumerable com.
plications and awkward pauses in the
conversation that follows.
There is tale told of pretty Spanish
woman, the wife of an attache of that
romantic Nations legation in Washing.
ton, which provoked unlimited amuse.
ment in the hearts OF the instigator, and
filed the guileless victim with mortifica.
ton and chagrin.
Madam R, the lady in question,
was very anxious during her stay in
America to acquire an adequate knowl-
edge of the rather treacherous idioms of
our language. She therefore took ad.
vantage Of every opportunity to converse
with her American acquaintances. She
was especi lily desirous of obtaining an
idea of American provincialisms. A
couple of fun.loving Washington young
blades frequently met Madam R
soon discovered her secret ambition.
Being scions of society and really fond
of their entertaining acquaintance they
often made it point to explain to their
charming hostess the difficult shades of
meaning of the various American ex.
expressions then in vogue, together with
the occasions when they might be ap.
propriately employed, all of which was
greatly appreciated by Madam R.
One day, however, it was on the eve
Of some diplomatic gathering, the spirit
Of mischief overcame their conscientious
scruples and they "loaded" innocent
Madam R-for the approaching state
occasion. They taught her number of
slang expressions and when to use them,
solemnly protesting that the phrases
were the most polished and elegant col.
loquialisms in American usage. She was
an apt pupil and learned her lesson we'll.
1t is needless to say that she created a
mild sensation on the occasion referred
to above. Being addressed by one OF
Supreme Court judges on some grave
Fsubiect the little Spanish woman replied
With most charming accent: snow
your honor, come off your perch, l am
on to your little game, see ?"
She seemed trihe disappointed at the
| ominous frown that o'erspread the judges
face and hurt at lis sudden departure
but attributed her failure to make a fav
orable impression to her lack of familiar
ity with the language. Having mentally
rehearsed some OF the other expressionl
stored up for the occasion she delivered
her next speech with more assurance.
This time she was conversing with
one OF the cabinet officers and that dig
nified parsonage ventured to make ar
observation OH the weather which fo
osveral days past had been extremel,
1isagreeable
"Ah" she exclaimed disparagingly-
& mas duriDga q temporary lull in tn,
nonveraatiOn aYOund thpm-"That Olf